#so they're an asshole

[weekend-conspiracy-theorist]

given cass's canonical love of reality tv, I am absolutely certain that every year babs has to go into cbs's recruitment email and delete her survivor audition video

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

[chiyana]

this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor

yes that House

why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.

House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.

in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.

He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.

admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")

but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.

also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it

[jedi-starbird]

"Qui-gon traumatised Obi-wan!!"

Bold of you to assume that Obi-wan Kenobi did not immediately turn around and traumatise him back. Obi-wan does not have daddymaster issues his master has padawan issues.

He returns from MelidaDaan with the power of being 14 (derogatory) and excessive weaponry on his side. Qui-gon's being called by the teachers cause his padawan is teaching the other kids how to make shivs and also unionise. He's sneaking off to the lower levels to hustle sabbac games in order to buy tiny blasters he can keep in his tunics and boots.

When Xantos breaks in to the temple Obi-wan tells him that it's frankly embarassing for him to have had Qui-gon Jinn of all people living rent free in his head for so many years.

[bixels]

This Twitter MLP human redesign drama is a mess, leave me the fuck out of it.

[clowndensation]

thinking about connor in prague saying "dad's theory was you got two fighting dogs, you send the weak one away, you punish the weak one." in relation to this episode, and the way the siblings view abuse inside their own family.

shiv and kendall and their belief that connor and roman are the weak dogs that got the brunt of logan's worst behavior, because abuse is reserved for the kids who can't behave - the ones who aren't smart and mature enough to make it in the world. abuse evokes pity, because abuse is what happens when you expect too much from people who obviously aren't capable of more.

and then they go forward in life, believing that they're just naturally more intelligent and more capable than connor and roman, as if being raised seeing what happens to you if you aren't a perfect child wasn't the entire point of the "punish the weak dog" mentality that logan instilled in them. the looming threat implied behind any praise they do receive that tacitly tells them "you're not like roman and connor" because everyone knows what happens to roman and connor.

the absolute height of the rich capitalist mindset. "we're succeeding because of our own merit, and other people fail because they don't have what it takes" when in reality they're succeeding because of arbitrary rules made up by someone who knows that infighting makes meaner dogs.

[punchyhorse]

So, I've been rereading Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship by @keelywolfe and their sleeping arrangements always get me. Alastor being an aggressive little spoon tickles me every time without fail.

This is how I imagine their night goes whenever they try to start with Alastor as the big spoon. It doesn't last very long before he's back in his preferred position suffocating Lucifer

[lloydfrontera]

the webcomic can have one (1) funny "earnest moment interrupted by comedy" joke. as a treat. but also because it is so in character for them ajkshdjkas

yes they will say the most earnest shit to each other and then immediately try to cringe out of their own bodies. they are best friends but they would rather jump out of a window before admitting it. they are incredibly devoted and grateful to one another but you could not water board that out of either of them.

the only thing that can get either of them to admit how much they care for each other is if the other is in life threatening danger and not a second before aakjshdks

[snowdrop-yoongi]

my favorite thing about baek hyun-woo's portrayal is that he isn't even a loser. he's an incredibly cool and competent lawyer who also happens to act like a loser

[llannasvsp]

Why do I keep finding fanfics where Cole is emotionally cheating on Geo with Kai. Can we let the Lava fanfics be Lava fanfics and the Geode fanfics be Geode fanfics? PLEAAASEEE?? (It's been months and Lava still floods the Geode tag).

[gonnahaveabigtalklater]

shoutout to the absolute Biggest Dick moment in the entire game

[supremeladyoftherandom]

Imagine being me

Imagine you live in a country where popular american cartoon show gravity falls was not even heard of

Imagine growing up a little and going on the internet, and finding out about this show

Imagine seeing fanart on pinterest, of a boy in a pine hat and a girl in a shooting star sweater and two similar looking old men and a one eyed triangle

imagine seeing fanart of the fucking triangle being kissy kissy and tender with one of the old men/the boy with the pine hat/the girl with the shooting star

Imagine seeing the triangle looking over the boy reading a book/the girl knitting/anyone doing literally anything in the fanart

Imagine thinking the triangle must be a tinkerbell-type side character

Now imagine seeing the show for the first time

[cloudcountry]

while playing the masquerade event i was hit with the realization that the students from nrc are quite literally the terrible tourists rollo was talking about. and im almost CERTAIN they've been just as bad every other event. like you have ruggie who was about to steal a shops hard earned money, you have epel and deuce that were saying their bread wasn't special before even trying it, you have ruggie AGAIN saying that the historic toys they make are just chunks of wood and don't have any value. these people suck and should not be permitted to travel. all they're doing is making a nuisance of themselves.

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[a-spectacular-pigeon]

"OOoOooOOoh, but using 'it/its' pronouns for Murderbot is dehumanising!!"

[pharawee]

Imagine being the personal assistant of some rich asshole CEO who threatens to get HR involved on your first day because the cleaners moved one (1) box on his desk 10cm to the left. Oh, and apparently he also got it on with you once (while you were still sporting your "I just started working here!" haircut) but it's ok because there's no (lmao) feelings involved, so you agree to also manage his personal appointments, so now you wait in his BMW (because OF COURSE it's a BMW 🙄) while he's off two-timing some girl with a guy named Kim, but it's totally fine, it's ok, it's because he doesn't know how to love anyone, it's really quite tragic. So anyway, you have this picture of you and your asshole boss (probably screencapped from the company cctv??) right next to your bed because you have no taste and standards whatsoever, but now you're thinking of quitting after five years of micromanaging him via your personal google account (only of course you aren't WINK WONK don't we all quit eventually~) and your boss won't let you because no one's ever said no to him before and he'd rather just continue sexually harassing you.

Oh, and also you live in a parallel universe that exists without any meaningful scene transitions whatsoever, so you constantly jump from the past to the present without any kind of strong notion of who any of the characters even are.

And that's Bad Guy My Boss. 🥴