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#so why does her fight in the finale feel so lonely?
Luzs main problem is that she puts everything on herself. Every problem that pops up is something she has to solve on her own bc she doesnt want to be a burden on her loved ones. She does a book report with live snakes bc she thinks itll take the stress off her mother worrying about her grades. She nearly gets blasted to bits by the blights to get gus and willow unexpelled. She brushes off her grief over her father so Amity can focus on her own problems.
It's kind of like how hunter thought in s2 and early s3, but luz isnt so jaded that she consciously recognizes this. "This is tangentially caused by me so its all my fault" and "Im just as bad as belos because im doing similar things to him" are her ways of explaining this mindset to herwelf because deep down, even luz doesnt know what the root of her problem is. These are logical fallacies that are easily broken, but luzs actual problem is her fear of burdening those she loves. Unless she addresses this, she will just come up with a new fallacy to keep with this mindset.
Luz told eda that it was her fault her magic was gone, so shes been a burden and needs to put herself in danger to make money for the family. Eda does talk about how luz should depend on her, but she mostly focuses on telling luz she isnt a burden. And its true! Eda views luz as a net good in her life! But luz still views herself as a burden.
Luz says that her grief over her dad is no big deal because she wants to help amity. Amity says that no, it is a big deal and shell help luz grieve. And amitys right. It is a big deal. Luz thinks so too. Its just that she doesnt want anyone else to be brought down by her personal isues.
Luz thinks because she helped phillip find the collector, that its her responsibility to atone for everything. Her friends and mother assure her that it wasnt her fault, and even if it was, its okay to make mistakes. But even if luz knows all that, she still thinks of herself responsible for defeating belos. Her friends who want to help are just tagalongs that she needs to do all this for.
Finally, luz questions if killing belos would make her as bad as him. The titan assures her thats not the case. Luz is nothing like belos because her intentions are good. Luz knows this. She says this in kings tide and says something similar every other time she gets to banter with belos. Maybe she doesnt believe what she says in some of the more stressful scenes but at least in the finale, luz understands this.
And then the titan grants luz their power. He gives her their hope of defeating belos and makes her responsible for the fate of everyone on the boiling isles. Luz gets help from king and eda in mastering her power, but otherwise she is the gamechanger in the fight, the one who deals the most damage. She accepts that she needs to be the one to defeat belos, and most of her friends dont get the opportunity to share in her burden by helping.
When belos spews his nonsense about how luz is evil for not helping him, she doesnt respond because shes known its not true for a long time. The titan just confirmed it for her. But luz is still shouldering the burden of saving the isles. With help from barely any of her loved ones.
The solution to luzs fear of burdening the people she loves is for her loved ones to show that its okay. To be loved is to be someone elses burden and share someone elses burden in turn. If luz cant do something, someone who cares about her can help her do it. Or do it for her.
In thanks to them, luz puts herself in danger to save hunter from belos, but hunter and flapjack were ultimately the ones who defeated him. In for the future, luz couldnt stave off kikimora on her own, so the students at hexside do it for her. In watching and dreaming, luz was killed by belos. In return, she was rewarded with the power to defeat him with almost none of her friends to help. She is still bearing most of the burden on her own, same as the start of the show.
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astonmartinii · 2 months
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forever and a day | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem long distance reader
nothing can separate them, except maybe 9,000 miles and a couple of oceans.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
oscarpiastri
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liked by logansargeant, landonorris and 893,209 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: finally back in the homeland and reunited with my girl
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user1: oscary/n nation we are so back
user2: australia always does us so well
yourusername: can you convince mclaren that they should keep paying for our dates
oscarpiastri: i think we were technically working
yourusername: were we? it never feels like work being with you
oscarpiastri: you didn't notice all of the people around us and filming us?
yourusername: i only have eyes for you osc, we know this
oscarpiastri: hehehhehehehee
yourusername: also i have to completely commit you to memory before you fuck off for another couple of months
oscarpiastri: you could always just come with me
yourusername: let me get my degree first, one of us has to be educated osc
oscarpiastri: i have my a-levels? lando doesn't even have gcses
landonorris: why am i catching a stray?
yourusername: because my boyf is smart
landonorris: i've got street smarts 😩
oscarpiastri: you've been catfished like five times already and nearly had your bank details stole?
landonorris: well ... i like to see the best in people?
user3: thank you mclaren for giving us the oscar and y/n content
user4: and the proof that love still exists
user5: terminally lonely girls block mclaren, oscar and y/n.- it's for your mental health
user6: or if you have commitment issues this is some good exposure therapy
logansargeant: oh who did you force to be your photographer this time?
yourusername: you never learnt reading comprehension in school?
logansargeant: i can read i just choose not to read the soppy shit you and oscar say to each other
oscarpiastri: leave us alone
yourusername: you have a problem with us no matter what 🤨
logansargeant: do NOT make me the bad guy for complaining about hearing your guys' sexy time
oscarpiastri: we spend A LOT of time away from each other
yourusername: and by the sounds of it, you could learn a lot
logansargeant: you know what WHATEVER
user7: they terrorise logan so much from opposite sides of the world, pray for him when she can travel with oscar
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 83,409 others
yourusername: i love any piece of you osc but the separation anxiety is kicking my ass
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user9: oscar gave y/n a plush of himself
user10: no cause he's literally such a black cat
yourusername: he blushes just like that as well
user11: oh really?
user12: want to share with the class
yourusername: that's for my eyes only
oscarpiastri: i'm glad he got to you safely
yourusername: i just about tackled the postman 😔
oscarpiastri: poor graham, we should get him a better christmas gift this year
yourusername: yeah sorry graham but you sprayed the kitty with your cologne and i can't be held responsible for my feral behaviour
user13: they get their postman christmas gifts?
user14: they have the same postman?
user15: yes, y/n lives with his family
user16: really?
yourusername: they can't get rid of me
oscarpiastri: they also love her as much as i do (literally, i have to fight my sisters to spend time with y/n)
landonorris: so this is why we were waiting so long for you at the airport
oscarpiastri: well, yes. it's very important i get y/n a souvenir
landonorris: i could've slept for like an hour longer?
yourusername: just because you don't understand true romance lando 🤨
landonorris: i know romance!
yourusername: maccies in a hotel room is not romance
landonorris: you guys are just freaks about each other that's not my fault
user17: y/n hanging out with oscar's sisters is so precious
user18: if they aren't married soon i will no longer believe in love
user19: they're 23?
user20: tbf i forget that because they've been together since they were like 15
logansargeant
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 351,904 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
logansargeant: oscar forced me to post this so y/n could 'remember how hot he is while he's away at war'
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user21: oh wow... thank you logan!
user22: this is not exactly what i was expecting when i opened instagram but alas i'm not complaining
yourusername: WOOF WOOF WOOF
oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭
logansargeant: someone please remind me why i'm friends with you two
yourusername: because we're your only friends?
yourusername: wait sorry that was mean
yourusername: i just get protective
logansargeant: you're telling me 🤨
oscarpiastri: i'm swooning 🥰🩷
logansargeant: i give up
alexalbon: why am i a part of this oscar thirst trap? why are you posting a thirst trap of oscar?
yourusername: HE'S A GOOD FRIEND
alexalbon: i didn't consent to be part of your weird long distance lust
yourusername: oh girl ain't no one looking at you when oscar is there
alexalbon: you know what you're mean :( i want you to stay in australia
yourusername: i promise i'm a lot nicer when i'm with osc, the distance makes me cranky
alexalbon: i see, remind me to never take oscar out in a race
logansargeant: i think that's wise - i heard her yelling down the phone about carlos
yourusername: i had to block him to stop myself
user23: i am honestly so confused
user24: i think we just let them do it, we'll never understand
landonorris: do NOT ask me to do this @oscarpiastri
yourusername: booooooo you're such a debbie downer
oscarpiastri: he's just s fuckboy he doesn't understand
landonorris: i don't think i'll ever understand you two
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yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 119,056 others
yourusername: one degree hotter xx
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user26: fucking finally now we can get y/n in the paddock every weekend
liked by oscarpiastri
user27: mclaren social media team seen celebrating just as much
oscarpiastri: and i didn't think it was possible for you to get any hotter
yourusername: maybe a piastri jersey?
oscarpiastri: and a ring?
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
yourusername: you know i'll never say no to that
yourusername: do nOT propose through an instagram comment oscar - nicole
oscarpiastri: noted 😔
yourusername: but name the time and the place and i'll be there baby
user28: so we could defo get a y/noscar proposal this season
user29: i would be so insufferable it's unbelievable
user30: the way i just know it was killing oscar not being able to go
user31: did you guys see the kicked dog eyes in the paddock yesterday 😭😭😭
oscarpiastri: they had to force me on the plane
landonorris: no they legit were about to call mick or pato
user32: did y/n convince you to not run away to australia?
oscarpiastri: maybe ....
charles_leclerc: ummmmm who is this oscar? why hasn't your father been introduced?
yourusername: HI
oscarpiastri: y/n is the love of my life and you SHOULD be able to meet her next race weekend
yourusername: so have i also got another father-in-law?
charles_leclerc: you seem to terrorise the other drivers a lot so - yeah!
yourusername: at your service (unless it's you hitting oscar, then there's no MERCY)
charles_leclerc: okay you are kinda scary wtf
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri: unbelievably proud of you and everything you've done darling. i'm so sorry i couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but i'll make it up to you before you know it xx
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user33: oh to be loved like this
user34: they make me feel lonely like the world apart i can only imagine how insane it'll be when they're back together 24/7
yourusername: i love you so so so much osc. you've done more than you could know by supporting me through my education. we have the rest of our lives to be together, so don't beat yourself about it now
oscarpiastri: but i'm so proud of you and just wanted to be there to celebrate you :(
yourusername: osc i can feel you pouting through the screen baby
landonorris: he really is and it's kinda annoyingly cute
yourusername: of course it's cute it's oscar 🙄
landonorris: right so i'll take back my congratulations then
yourusername: FINE BY ME
user35: obsessed with how y/n and lando already have this weird sibling bond
user36: it's the weird relationship that you kind of love between your gf and friend
user37: it's all cute until they actually fight
yourusername: if he makes any wrong step against oscar i'll crush that loser
landonorris: ahhaaha funny joke
yourusername: you're a 5'5 twig, i could snap you in half
user38: i need them to recreate the last photo when oscar wins his first race
user39: i think pinterest would explode
yourusername: no but no joke, i love you so much osc and i can't wait to start the new chapter of our life
oscarpiastri: i love you too xx
oscarpiastri: sorry to my sisters but they're losing their live in stylist because you're never ever leaving me ever again
oscarpiastri: that makes me sound like a possessive asshole but i just have attachment issues
yourusername: no these years since you started in f3 have been actual hell without you and i never want to leave your side again
yourusername: i just love watching you do what you love
oscarpiastri: i'll always love you more
user40: who's chopping onions wtf
user41: i'm invoicing them for my therapy
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mclarenf1
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mclarenf1: don't tell oscar but we've got a surprise guest for him 🤫
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user45: take me out back and shoot me please and thank you
user46: so real of you
landonorris: is this why his phone is currently hidden in my drivers room?
mclarenf1: maybe ...
landonorris: if he fights me for it that's on you guys
mclarenf1: wait admin has just realised you definitely shouldn't be on your phone
landonorris: LOL
user47: mclaren you better not fuck this race for oscar because i need my big rom com ending kiss in parc ferme
user48: omg romance writers do i have a plot for you
user49: the way this would seem so unrealistic if i read it in a book but these fools really have been together for like eight years and are unbelievably in love
yourusername: heheheheh thanks for flying me out on such late notice xx
mclarenf1: no worries queen
yourusername: you guys better be on top form, you can't hide from me in the garage
mclarenf1: hahahaha 😅😅😅
user50: is y/n the reincarnation of nicole scherzinger? like a wag that goes fucking mental
user51: and wears team merch with pride
yourusername: nicole is a queen (thank you for one direction queen) but you guys do not want me on the microphone
user52: you and oscar karaoke? please?
yourusername: we once did breaking free together but you'll have to bother logan for that video
user53: OSCAR PLEASE WIN AND DO DRUNK KARAOKE
oscarpiastri
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,556,308 others
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oscarpiastri: i told you she was my lucky charm. overjoyed to get my first win, it's a dream come true and to have the love of my life with me makes it even sweeter. y/n, i'll love you forever and a day x
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user54: CONGRATS OSCAR 🧡🧡🧡
user55: i'm having such a proud mum moment
user56: tears in my eyes
user57: not as much as y/n that girl was going THROUGH IT
user58: we need her mascara, cause that shit didn't budge
yourusername: I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU OSCAR
yourusername: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
yourusername: AND THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR ME TO BE AT A RACE TO WIN
oscarpiastri: i guess i just knew in my bones you were here and simply had to win
oscarpiastri: i just wanted to see you so bad that i drove the fastest to the finish line
yourusername: well tell them to hurry up and debrief so we can celebrate 👀
oscarpiastri: ON MY WAY
user59: maybe we will get that karaoke?
logansargeant: congrats bro! @landonorris i hope you brought some ear plugs, if not you might want to start drinking now
landonorris: SOMEONE GET ME A DRINK STAT
yourusername: i'll personally buy you a drink because i'm going to rock his world tonight
oscarpiastri: 😎😎😎
landonorris: and here i thought you were my little innocent teammate
yourusername: there's nothing little about him
landonorris: EWWWW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE
yourusername: all celebrations aside, i'm so proud and i'll love you forever and always x
oscarpiastri: it's always been you and it will always be you
yourusername: i love you
oscarpiastri: i love you too
fin.
note: WOOOOOOOOOO OSCAR!!! (i'm ignoring everything else to do with the race, oscar is my king)
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melrodrigo · 5 months
Text
friends? p.2
Cairo Sweet x Fem Reader
Summary: A rivalry between you and Cairo has been going on for several months…what does it take for her to finally break?
Warnings: there r literally none they bicker like an old couple and cairos mean
Word Count: 2k+
A/n: helloooo i’m not sure abt this chapter but lmk what u thought, i cranked this out in its entirety last night, enjoy!
part 1
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Friendship was not Cairo Sweet's strong suit. Ask her about Dickinson or Austen or Shakespeare—these were all things she could answer. But the ultimate question of friendship was not something hot on Cairo's mind.
She didn't need it, that was her take. And why would she waste time on something she didn't need?
Friends, much less a partner, was something she never saw for herself. The thought of being a housewife, living in a picture-perfect picket fence house, appalled her. The only things that mattered were her, her writing, and Yale.
So when a certain girl had entered her life, she hated it.
You.
You with your stupid face, and pretty hair, she hated you. A burning passion so intense it heated up her heart and made it race. So intense that she wanted to punch you in the face whenever you passed, only to bandage it up with feather light touches so she could punch you again harder.
At first it was nothing; she didn't have a thing to worry about. A blushing face while you stammered and fumbled around trying to give Mr. Miller an answer, she disregarded you as someone she could respect immediately.
But obviously she had caught you on a bad day, because after those first few weeks, you managed to present yourself in a less idiotic way.
You were, surprisingly smart.
Almost too smart, she pondered. It was getting in the way of her own studies. How could it be, that someone was on bar (never better) than her?
Often she found herself seething at you, arguing at every chance she had with your answers; but, you had given her the same treatment as well.
It wasn't strange for your classes to end in heated debate, both sides failing to yield. It bothered her greatly. She went back home and read more than she'd ever read before, studied just a few minutes longer because she could feel you taunting her.
"Sweet." You nodded, as she pushed open the doors to Millers class. You'd made it a habit to arrive early, leaving only you and her for a good thirty minutes before everyone else arrived.
It was infuriating. To have you so close, open, ready to harm, yet she could do nothing. She'd been having a particularly grueling week. Her parents had just come back from Brazil; and, always seemed to be ready to go at her throat. Gone were her lonely but comforting nights on her bed, candle-lit. Now it was just fights and condescending jabs.
"What did you get on the paper?" Your voice piped up, breaking her from her train of thought. You were referring to the paper Mr.Miller had given back last week, one that counted for forty percent of the grade.
She felt a swell of pride. Scores were something she could argue about. This would take off the stress she'd been building.
"99." She smirked, cocking her head to the side.
You whistled approval, nodding adamantly. Even though there was nothing to suggest so, she could swear she felt condescension in your tone.
She was good at picking out stuff like that. The roll of someone's tongue, the way they smack their lips—it all meant something to her.
She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes. "What did you get?" She asked, brows furrowed.
You didn't say anything, simply holding up a finger and mouthing 'one hundo' and watched as disbelief took over her features.
"You're fucking lying." She seethed. Her good mood had suddenly disappeared just as fast as it had appeared.
You spun around in your seat, stupid smile on your face. God, she wanted to jump at you and claw it off.
"Hey, hey, it's okay to be mad. You can't be the best at everything." You told her, hands behind your head.She gripped the desk harder, knuckles turning a faint white.
She stood up, walking over to your desk."You little shi-"
"Good morning, the both of you!" Mr.Miller interrupted, cheery smile. His enthusiasm radiated off his body like rays radiated from the sun. He stopped short when he saw Cairo stalking close to you, a clear pout on her face.
"What are you doing?" He asked, question directed towards her, voice sickly sweet. He had grown fond of Cairo since the beginning of the term; she was his favorite student.
"I'd like her to be removed from the class. Can't you do that Mr.Miller?" She avoided his question, tilting her face at an angle where her chocolate colored eyes shone bright.
His white brows furrowed, not quite comprehending. "You mean," He started, "right now...?"
Bless him, he had no clue how manipulative Cairo was.
She doesn't let up, doesn't let her disappointment show. You notice it in the slight clench of her jaw--she's annoyed.
"I meant for the rest of the term, I can't stand being in the same class as her." She emphasized her words with a glare in your direction. You send her a sweet smile back.
"Please, flattery will get you nowhere." You winked, smile turning into a real one when you see her get visibly agitated.
"Please, girls. Let's be civil here all right?" Mr.Miller pipes up, trying to stand in between Cairo and you. It does nothing to lessen the tension in the air.
He turns slightly to Cairo, voice firm. "And no...I won't kick Y/N out."
The childish part of you desperately wants to fist pump the air; but, the more serious side of you decides maybe you shouldn't do that in the company of your arch nemesis.
Class turns weird fast. Cairo—normally quick and adamant—stays quiet, seemingly distracted by the simplest of things: a bird singing softly from a window, the great big forests where her house stood, the sound of your feet continuing to scrape against the carpet.
It irks you a little. It has you not listening in class, wanting to focus on the girl in front of you.
You almost don't hear it when Miller announces that you'll be working in pairs for the midterm project, preoccupied with her bobbling head, moving as if she were listening to some imaginary music.
"You will not be able to pick your own partner, that's already been done for...by me." He adds, after hearing the onslaught of voices from the students. It's clear he's not changing his mind.
"Alright. When I call your names, go sit with your pair and discuss how you'll do the assignment. Olivia, Taylor." He calls out the first pair, going down (what seems like) an endless list of names, never quite getting to yours.
You watch as countless people move around, silently looking out for who hasn't been called yet. You needed to get a good grade on this, and a lazy partner was going to be a nightmare.
You strain your ears to hear Mr.Miller over the commotion of students moving, but when you turn to squint at him you're surprised to see he's already looking at you.
A sinking feeling eats your entire being whole as you watch his mouth move. He points his finger at you, then someone in front of you.
Cairo Sweet.
Fuck.
Even though you loved to tease her, you did not need to have Cairo Sweet as your partner. She was likely to ruin you before you even got to starting the thing.
You don't make the first move to get up, instead you sit dumbly in your chair, bracing yourself.
Your peace is disrupted by a huff from above you. There she is.
"Move over. I need a seat." She says, something in her voice making you oblige. She pulls over an extra chair and sits by the other end of the table.
"You can come closer ya know." You say, unsure of how friendly to be. You'd only ever really spoke with her from a distance, a comfortable distance. Now that she's up in your personal space you feel ike you're going to suffocate.
She ignores you, pursing her lips as she listens to Miller explain the project.
You inch your chair closer, prepared to make a sly jab at the way she's being a teachers pet, but her stare—which has now been redirected on you—stops you in your tracks. She looks scary.
Lips downturned, nostrils flaring, you're a bit taken aback.
"Okay jeez. You don't have to be such an ass about it." You mumble, distancing yourself a great deal further than you already were. The mood, if it weren't enough already, turns more sour.
She ignores your suggestions and remarks on how to do the project, scribbling something down on to her notepad every now and then.
"Earth to you, Sweet. Are you listening to me?" You press, starting to feel those tendrils of annoyance grabbing you. It was one thing to be an ass, but to put her own feelings above doing good work was low, even for her.
Especially for her, you think.
"Do you ever shut up?" She growls, biting her cheeks so hard you could see the indent it was making on the outside.
"Okayyy...someone's obviously going through something, but can we just-" You gesture to the sheet of paper on the table, you haven't even been allowed to look at what she's written yet.
"I am NOT going through something." She says again, voice cracking. The sound brings forth a peculiar reaction in you, your mouth hanging open. Her eyes look...watery.
Before you can utter a word she's getting up and storming out the classroom, making heads turn left and right at the loud noise.
"Um...I'll be right back too." You say, sending Mr.Miller a cheeky smile and a wink, hoping that'll lessen his curiousity enough to not come out after the two of you.
You push open the doors, call Cairos' name a couple times.
You eventually find her outside, back pressed against the brick wall. She's lighting up a cigarette.
Her body language looks more calm now, but you're not sure what to do. You shuffle on your feet, twiddling your thumbs.
"Sorry I did that." She speaks, not turning to look at you. It startles you a bit, you hadn't realized she saw you.
"Cairo Sweet saying sorry? I must be dreaming." You try, although you're not smiling and she doesn't laugh. Humor seems to be sucked away in this little bubble belonging to only the two of you.
You move a little closer, then even closer when Cairo doesn't object. Even though you did hate her to the bone, you wanted to make sure she was okay.
"Are you...alright?" You ask softly, watching her face for an answer. She seems to be deep in thought.
She takes a swing from her cigarette and blows. "I don't like you." Is what she says.
The ice breaks. You no longer feel like you're supposed to pity her. This was Cairo Sweet, her heart was made of coal.
"Yeah I think we established that. Anything else?" You sigh, leaning back so you're also pressed up against the wall.
She turns to you, and for the first time, she doesn't seem very mad.
"I don't like you." She says again, moving closer. It's in your natural instinct to step back, why was she being so weird? Was she going to hurt you?
She grips your shoulder lightly, enough for you to get the message to stay still.
"I don't  like you." Cairo mutters for the third time, eyes piercing into yours. She seems to be speaking a little lower, a little raspier than normal. Cogs seem to be turning in her head, debating and debating and debating.
Debating on what you can't be certain.
"I get it, you don't like me. So what?" You mummur, voice lower than normal. The proximity is making your mind feel a little clouded.
You try not to let your gaze drift down to her lips, but when there's nothing around to distract yourself with, they do.
Her freckles, the ones that litter her face. You get the disgusting urge to touch them.
"So...don't get the wrong idea." She says before taking your lips in a kiss.
It takes you a second to comprehend what's really happening. You stand frigid, mouth parting to gasp. You're gasp is swallowed by her own lips, soft and supple.
Once Cairo feels that you aren't responding, she pulls away, frightened look on her face. Pink lips downturned, her cheeks a rosy red. You don't have time to process what the right move is. For now, you don't need Cairo thinking you didn't like whatever that was.
You reach for her neck, pull her in for a second kiss. It's somehow better than the first. She responds quick, hands wandering to cup your face, then down to circle your waist, then up to tangle in your hair—like she's changing her own mind too quick.
You let her take the lead, pressing you into the wall with a strength you didn't know she possessed.
You're too lost in it all, the smell of her shampoo, the feeling of her teeth scraping your lips, biting down only the slightest, her fingers burning traces wherever they go.
"Sweet." You breathe, coming out more like a soft moan than you would've liked.
She breaks apart from you, a wild mess. You think she's never looked prettier, hair everywhere, lips torn from your heated kisses.
Her eyes are soft until they flash and something else takes over. It's as if your voice had brought her back to life.
"I don't like you." She snarls, and promptly turns on her heels, just a slight increase in speed than her normal strut.
You're left breathless, staring out into the green plains. Mind and heart racing, you're not sure which organ you should listen to.
The implication of what you did hits you like a freight train. You groan and press your hands to your head, willing and willing and willing for a solution to come out of it.
Not to anyones surprise, nothing comes. A magic fairy doesn't tell you what to do, and you're still standing behind school panting.
"Oh god."
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wildestdreamsblog · 6 months
Text
Latibule Season 2: III
Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader (Mafia/Detective AU)
Summary: In which he lost his latibule.
Warnings: Secret Identity, Yandere behavior, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Violence, Mention of death, Disability, Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.
A/N: As promised :) Leave a comment or reblog if you enjoy!
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Masterlist, Latibule 2.II
Taehyung looked up from his cellphone to his eldest hyung that was currently cooking their dinner. He pouted when he was not given the appropriate amount of attention he should be given. Honestly, he deserved it! After a moment when he still did not get what he wanted, he finally asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to.
“Hyung, is it always like that?”
“Hmm? Like what, Tae?” he asked while chopping diligently the vegetables the renowned doctor was preparing for a certain psychologist and his brothers that insisted they were hungry as well.
“When it ends…does it always hurt like that?”
Seokjin blinked at Taehyung’s unprompted question. He paused before he finally brought his eyes to the actor. He knew that the younger man had always been eccentric. His clinical condition definitely explained his behavior, but not this. He was never curious about the emotions he couldn’t feel, nor did he ever show any interest on understanding emotions. As the years passed by, Kim Taehyung got better at masking and pretending by learning the root causes of the emotions he could see. The brothers had always thought that this was precisely why he chose to be an actor. Everytime they watched him cried, laughed, or acted furious for his movies and dramas, they thought he was a different person.
Jin thought it was just understandable why he dropped the knife he was holding.
“What brought this on?”
“He-“ he lifted his mobile phone to show Jin the picture Jimin snapped of their Yoongi hyung looking like he had lost all his will to live. Taehyung found it so ridiculous that Jimin even made a collage of him and a cat that depicted their hyung. “-looks like breathing is a chore and is only fighting to live so he can end his enemies.”
Jin would have laughed had this happened before he met his sunshine. But now, the mere thought of her leaving set him on edge, and he knew he would be similar to Yoongi if not worse. Slowly, he picked up his knife as he carefully chose his words. He was always like this with Taehyung ever since he knew that something was not quite right in his mind, well…more than any of them, to be honest. The younger man took things at face value, and all the brothers knew to talk in a straightforward manner so there wouldn’t be any confusion on Taehyung’s part.
He kidded you not, once when they were still teenagers, they asked him to go ahead and get them a table in a restaurant. He left without any qualms only to return not an hour later carrying a big ass table from a restaurant. That was a horrifying memory, Jin thought, and that was when they all decided to change the way they talked. It was Namjoon that took it too far and enrolled the man in a body language class to better cope with society. However, it was Jungkook that forced him to take psychology classes with him for fun.
“I think it’s different,” Jin started, busying himself once again with cooking. “Yoongi never has love like that, I guess. It’s understandable that he acts like a sad lonely cat.”
Seokjin could still clearly remember how Yoongi looked at you. It was like you were all he ever wanted and more, like you were his reprieve from the darkness in his life. You were, as he called you, an angel to him. And then he lost you.
“Why?”
“Well…she’s his personal slice of heaven,” he answered, his voice contemplative and understanding of what Yoongi was going through. Jin paused in his chopping, a thoughtful expression crossing his features as he carefully considered his words. “And he’s been living in hell the very moment he was born. What do you think would happen if he was given a taste of heaven and then lost it?”
“Just like Hoseok hyung,” Taehyung nodded, slightly understanding the downfall of these strong men.
“Seriously, you are all worse than the ahjummas who love to talk about other people’s lives. Be better than that, guys,” Kim Namjoon observed with his deadpanned voice as soon as he walked in the kitchen. He took in the scene of the two men conversing and the other man quietly eating the snack Jin prepared him.
Jin scoffed as he rolled his eyes at Namjoon. “As if you wouldn’t react like that when your secretary finally resigns.”
To which, Namjoon only smirked. “Who says she can leave?”
“How will you stop her and her son if the father finally shows up?”
Namjoon, with his hand in his pocket, calmly uttered words that no normal people would believe to have any other meaning. “Well, as you said, the dead don’t exactly come back to life, do they?”
 Jin chuckled at Namjoon. Of course, he did something about that man. It was apparent, he thought. He could still vividly remember the look in Namjoon’s eyes when he told him that his secretary was pregnant and that the asshole of a father even put his hands on her. Suffice to say, it was the most unhinged Namjoon ever was.
“I think Namjoon will be the worst among us if he ever loses the love of his life,” Jin noted with lightness in his voice.
“Nah,” Jungkook finally lifted his head from his bowl. “I sincerely think it’ll be Taehyung.”
The conversation never left Jeon Jungkook’s mind. Anyway, he didn’t need anyone to tell him to do this. He did this out of the bond he shared with his brothers. Had this happened to any among them, he would have done the same.
He thought that it was cruel to let them experience the same hell he had been living every single day.
And so, he worked tirelessly and utilized every available technology and connection he had just to look for Yoongi’s angel. When he said she was alive, when he said he felt in his heart that you could have not gone where he couldn’t follow, then he’d believed him. He wouldn’t lose anything by looking for you, Jungkook rationalized. But he didn’t want to unnecessarily get his brother’s hopes up until he had evidence that you were indeed alive.
One morning, it finally happened. There you were.
Jungkook’s eyes could not have gone any bigger as he watched the CCTV of a far province in his office.
That was you, he was sure.
Without a moment's hesitation, he reached for his phone and dialed the person he knew he could trust. "Hyung, can you come to my office?" he requested urgently, the excitement and disbelief evident in his voice.
“That’s her,” Kim Namjoon validated after a moment. He was standing beside Jungkook’s seated form as he leaned in the monitor. He was ever the image of calmness with his hand in his pocket, his suit immaculate and not a crease in sight.
Seokjin raised his brows as he sat in a relaxed manner on the couch. Jungkook didn’t even call him, yet he was here because he was, per his words, bored and that a certain sunshine was not where she should be. “So the dead can indeed come back to life,” he noted with a tone the two men couldn’t understand. “Pray tell, Namjoon-ah. Should we tell Yoongi?”
Jungkook blinked at the rising tension between the two men. Whereas Jin merely looked curious, Namjoon looked like he was looking at the end of the sword with the way his jaw was clenched. He stood up straight and took a second to answer Seokjin.
“Of course, hyung. This is a great news, after all.”
“Hmm,” Seokjin smirked, his legs crossed as though nothing could have fazed him. It was moment like this when Jungkook could see the mafia prince in his usually playful hyung. Everybody knew not to cross this man despite him appearing goofy and motherlike to them.
Jungkook thought that it would only take one momentous catastrophe for him to return to his dark persona. He didn’t want to see that, though.
“He’s suffered enough, right?” Jin asked the room with a light tone, yet his eyes pierced through Namjoon’s. “Right, Namjoon-ah?”
Seven Mississippis passed before he answered. Jungkook knew because he counted, and he hated the tension he didn’t know why was present.
“Jungkook, tell Yoongi hyung,” Namjoon ordered.
—-
Min Yoongi’s brows were pulled together as he walked in a bustling street of a faraway province. He had to drive almost four hours just because their maknae told him to be here at this exact hour, claiming that he desperately needed him to be there. However, Jungkook was not answering his phone despite numerous calls from him.
Where was even that little shit, Yoongi asked himself as he surveyed the whole place.  
Despite barely getting any sleep, he found himself in a situation where he might have to scold his youngest brother for the first time. He should have been in Seoul right now, but he couldn’t exactly say no to him. He had shit ton of things to do and yet he was indulging the youngest brother.
Maybe this was exactly why he was spoiled? Ah, but anyway, he was a good kid.
So where was he?!
He walked further into the thick of the plaza, his phone plastered in his ear as he listened to the annoying and incessant ringback tone of Jungkook. Seriously, at this day and age? His eyes roamed the area of happy locals, at which he rolled his eyes.
He was on the verge of deciding whether he should just go ahead and kill Jungkook when he finally answered.
“Where the fuck are you?” he growled over the other line, his patience running thin when the man just answered innocently.
“At Seoul, hyung-“
“Then why am I here?! I swear to heavens, if you made me drive here just to buy you a weird snack then I’ll really kill you!”
“Seokjin hyung will be mad!”
Right. The eldest was protective of the youngest. What a nuisance, he thought. “Then I’ll do it in secret.”
Jungkook chuckled nervously. He couldn’t place whether he was joking or not. His money was that if his hyung could get away with it, he’d be floating in the river at this very moment. “I asked you to go there because I have a surprise for you, hyung.”
“I don’t particularly enjoy surprises-” he began, but was swiftly interrupted.
“I know, I know. But this one, I’m sure you’ll like. This is the most beautiful, most precious, most amazing surprise ever. You’ll stop sulking and looking like a sad cat and Jimin hyung will finally stop taking badly captured and cropped photos of you and make it into a collage. Taehyung hyung will stop observing your miserable demeanor for his next movie. You’ll finally stop living like it’s such a chore and-“
His back was bumped by a force. Turning around, he prepared to glare at the perpetrator only to stop because there it was.
There was you.
It was as if the universe finally said that he had enough and stopped punishing him because he saw you when he was not even looking for you. Your mouth hanged agape, your hand going to your forehead as you murmured apologies to him.
He was stunted. No, he was bewildered.
Was this real? Or was this one of his cruel dreams again, a figment of his mind playing tricks on him?
But no.
He had been living in hell, yet moment he heard your voice, all the sufferings disappeared. This was really you. You were truly alive. He was frozen as his wildest dream was brought into life. His whole body went into a state of shock, something that he never thought could ever happen.
It didn’t really matter the years he spent without you because one touch, one word- these were all it took for him to forget the bitterness your separation brought him.
With a trembling voice, Yoongi dared to call for you. “Ange-”
But before he could say another word, you interrupted, your voice light and apologetic.
“I’m really sorry, mister. I didn’t see you,” you chuckled, slightly lifting your walking stick to explain the small accident. You bowed down at the man before going your way.
And he stood there, watching as the love of his life walked away from him, unseeing. He thought he could no longer hurt. He thought that nothing could have fazed him any longer. But he was wrong. Watching you walked, unseeing as you traversed the plaza with only your walking stick pained him.
How did this happen to you?
Was it because of the incident?
Was that why you couldn’t return to him? Because you weren’t able to?
Or did he miss all the glaring signs?
Slowly, he lifted the old phone you gifted him years ago to his ear. “You didn’t stop looking for her?”
Jungkook was quiet for a moment. “Well…I would never wish this hell on anyone, much less my brother,” he stated, his voice carrying a certain tone of sadness they often heard from him. “Go get her, hyung.”
The bustling city streets faded into a blur around you as you walked, your steps slow and deliberate despite the cacophony of noise that surrounded you. Your sight may have been almost gone, but your other senses seemed to have sharpened in response, each sound and scent painting a vivid picture in his mind.
You remembered that when you were younger, you read a passage from a book entitled, ‘The Song of Achilles’. You thought it was a well-written book, a love that transcended even death. There was a line your college friends always thought to be a masterpiece. But you never understood it. The line so many people loved never really touched you.
Until it did.
Until you understood each word written in that book.
“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”
Because right now, the words made sense. You could recognize him despite your deteriorating eyesight. You knew him. He was here. And he was following you…to what exactly? Was he here to end you? Was he here to make sure that you wouldn’t tell the world of his secret identity?
Regardless of the reason, you tried to remain calm as Hoseok always ordered you to. You had no choice but to lead him back home, otherwise you were sure that he would be suspicious. The man that you used to love was perceptive, and any suspicious movements could alert him. From the moment you opened the front door to the time you closed it, you knew you only had a couple of seconds.
You fished the phone Hoseok gave you, one with tactile buttons and controls that made it easier for you to use it. You knew you couldn’t use the speech-to-text feature, otherwise he’d hear. And so, with a tense movement, you sent a message to him.
He’s here. Don’t come home. Leave with my son.
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Part IV
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sindar-princeling · 2 years
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between the newsletter’s entry where we learn the ponies are okay, me picking apart rings of power and analysing why it doesn’t fully feel like tolkien, and this one gifset of frodo and sam i reblogged, i felt like i finally have to gather my thoughts regarding what makes tolkien tolkien
and while there are many things that do, i’d argue that the most special one is its earnestness.
characters in LOTR care unabashedly, with all their hearts, and love so easily, whether it’s platonic, familial or romantic.
the hobbits feel like the most obvious example - merry, pippin and sam follow frodo for as long as they’re able; their loyalty goes deep to their bones, and their relationships are so full of trust, joy, devotion, fondness.
but all of LOTR is just more examples of the same thing. after the war legolas spends the rest of his life in middle-earth with gimli - they travel together for over a hundred years - and then he decides he won’t just say goodbye when gimli dies! and he does something that hasn’t been done before and just takes gimli to valinor, but not before aragorn dies. because they both loved him, too. faramir asks “do you not love me, eowyn?“ and she realises she does, and he says he’ll marry her and they’ll grow a garden and heal, and he kisses her even though everyone can see them. sam loves frodo, and he loves rosie, and he spends his life with her, then joins frodo in the undying lands after she dies.
and it shines through in the movies, too! it’s thanks to both the direction and the acting skills of the cast, of course, that so, so often all emotions are on full display - whenever sam and frodo interact, when aragorn kisses boromir’s forehead, when the hobbits say goodbye at the grey havens, when pippin finds merry at the battlefield, the way gandalf reacts when frodo says he’ll go to mordor, the way theoden breaks down at his son’s grave, the way he cares about eowyn like she’s his own child, the way eomer reacts when he finds eowyn and thinks she’s dead. those are just examples off the top of my head.
it’s also very special to me because in many fictional works (not only in fantasy) people just aren’t allowed to be that open - mostly men, but not exclusively - meanwhile this earnestness is something i always look for in fiction.
it stands out especially if you consider some fantasy creators (not naming any names but you know who i mean ajsjdjfjf) saying they “just want to reflect the misogyny of the period” (which is just bullshit and also demeaning to people of all genders in so many ways), because while LOTR is heavily male-dominated, tolkien managed to do something very, very interesting and important there.
he says, “war is the province of men”, but it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to want to be there. you’re not supposed to want to go to battle, suffer and/or die. eomer wants eowyn to stay home because he loves her, and couldn’t stand to see her die in a cruel, gruesome way (and when he thinks she’s dead, it’s the most devastating display of grief in the whole movie trilogy).
the heroes go to war because there are things that need defending, and dying for a noble cause is honorable, but again - it’s about defending, not about fighting. the clearest villains of LOTR are people who want the war to happen. many of the heroes, most of whom are men, just want peace for their people, want companionship (one of the first things aragorn says to the hobbits is that he’d be happy to have more friends, because being a ranger means he’s lonely), or want a good meal and a good drink like the hobbits. they want comfort and warmth. they want to finish a book like bilbo. they want to live in a garden among all things that live and grow like faramir. they want to marry and have a home and kids like sam.
and the things is, it’s not always that common in fiction, but it’s absolutely common, you know. IN REAL LIFE? BECAUSE MEN ARE PEOPLE? so it’s just really good to have tolkien absolutely divorce masculinity in his works from how his characters show emotions, or how much comfort they crave. and that is a realistic approach i’m interested in.
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greenboyfriend · 8 months
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choose something cold... (tarot card reading)
"what do you need to know?"
image 1: it's cold. I mean, really cold. but your blood is warm, even if your fingers are blue. where's your soul? image 2: a framed painting depicting a wintry landscape, complete with a log cabin, whose blue smoke trickles from its chimney and blends in with the world around it. image 3: three ornate glasses, made of ice. are those cracks intentional? or just by virtue of its design? image source not everything may resonate with you, and that's ok! take what does & leave the rest. don't force it.
1.・。.・゜✭
there’s an opportunity being presented to you. it may be a celebration of some kind, or just something that has a lot of excitement surrounding it. what i’m getting most of all is that this may be a chance to find freedom. with the seven of swords reversed, maybe you’re the type of person to handle your problems on your own, “lone wolf” style. there’s a million reasons why someone might do this, but for you, you’re afraid or distrusting in others. when you opened up in the past, maybe it didn’t end up so well for you, and this has made you keep things mostly to yourself.  however, the four of wands reversed tells us that this lone wolf energy is blocking you from fully enjoying yourself. “freedom”, in this sense, is the freedom from yourself, or rather, your fear. in the original Rider-Waite-Smith deck, the seven of swords shows us a man with his arms full of swords, shirking off to his own devices. for you, these swords represent an unnecessary burden, being wary or even afraid of others to see your true colors/problems/ect. opening yourself back up again is a task much easier said than done, i know. but the 6 of cups shows us what this looks like, once fully realized. when we talk about our problems and emotions, we’re able to release and/or deal with them more easily. i’ve definitely been in the position of worrying endlessly about something, just to finally open up to someone, and realize that the answer was sitting in front of me all along. the six of cups represents this as having a “clean conscience.” being, you’ve released yourself from carrying a burden all alone, and have found freedom– the four of wands. finally, the king of cups reversed reminds you to have patience, and to be tolerant of others. not just one person can supply you with all the information or support you need.
(6 of cups, 7 of swords reversed, 4 of wands reversed, king of cups reversed)
2.・。.・゜✭
you’re in a period of transition, be that between attitudes or people. this change has you feeling down. maybe not emotionally destitute, but not in the best spot, either. as you wade through these waters, know that the queen of swords is by your side, and will lead you to better times. the queen of swords is someone with a good head on her shoulders, and will always tell the truth. she is very forthright, and doesn’t do any under-the-table dealings. she holds herself to these standards because of her past experiences, and knows that an honest, open approach will best suit her motives. you may embody the queen of swords already, and if you do, great! if you don’t, that’s ok, too. but it’s time to start really leaning into that kind of energy. don’t conceal the truth– both to yourself and others–, and let yourself have a laugh every once in a while! the thing about being experienced is that you know not to take everything so seriously. the queen of swords can see the big picture, and knows that, even if right now is tough, later will be much better. the place/person/vibe you’re coming from is represented by the knight of wands. i’m getting, cockiness– to the point where you/they were being presumptuous. this might also have had to do with someone being hot tempered, and restless, where they couldn’t handle being bored, so they’d decide to pick a fight. this energy is still here, but not necessarily causing harm just yet. what’s really impeding your path towards healing is the knight of cups. the knight of cups reversed is in direct opposition with the queen of swords, in the sense that he allows his emotions to take control of him, rather than accurately assessing the truth of his situation. he may let his imagination become overactive, and begin believing things that aren’t true. where the queen of swords faces all her dealings head on, the knight of cups may shade the truth, dance around the issue, or simply hope someone else will deal with it. he may also tend to isolate himself from others, which only worsens his imagination into spurring up unrealistic scenarios and focusing too much on his own “failings.” i’m thinking… you’re going to need to temper the knight of cups with the knight of wands. use that fiery, self confident energy to seek out the truth, rather than make assumptions. and, in turn, the knight of cups can help to deplete those feelings of restlessness through introspection. most importantly, keep your head level, and honor the truth above all.
(queen of swords, 6 of swords, knight of wands, knight of cups reversed)
3.・。.・゜✭
so… there’s a lot to unpack here, image 3! i’ll start with this, the energy of the queens of wands and of pentacles are important right now. the queen of wands seems to be especially important, urging you to work hard to maintain her optimism, confidence, and enthusiasm. this situation will require you to be a sort of “soft” leader for others, where you can be looked to for inspiration. if you’re able to serve as a role model through keeping your head up even when the going gets tough, and to do so with strength and vigor, it will not only help you and your purposes, but will also inspire those around you to do the same. the opportunity to embody this energy is not fully here yet, but once you hear the call, you’ll know it’s for you. strike the iron while it’s hot and give it your all! no time for dilly dallying. in being a leader (even if you’re not completely cognizant of it) you will have to temper your generosity with what you know to be true. so, for example, if someone is late to a meeting one time, you may give them the benefit of the doubt. but if they’re continuously late, some changes need to be made. this can also apply to other situations, where you will need to decide between your loyalties and what’s true & just. you may have already experienced scenarios like this in the past, so it will help you to call back to those times for foresight. doing what is fair may be difficult in the moment, but will lead to the best outcome. the queens come together here to guide you on your way. keep trying! you know that you’re resourceful, so don’t be afraid to try your hand at solving problems. it may also benefit you to remain down to earth during this time, and not to try to control what others think or say. at the end of the day, you are your own person, and what a wonderful person you are!  finally, we arrive at the page of cups. i’m getting a very loving, forgiving energy from this card. it may benefit you to invite that energy into your life, both towards yourself and others. when a challenge faces you, or someone is less than nice, decide to turn away that anger with love. consider, what may compel them to act this way? maybe they’re going through something you don’t know about. it’s not that you need to nurture them back to good health, but realize that maybe, they’re just not worth your time, and a simple nod & turning of the cheek will do you both some good. most of all, listen to your intuition to tell you whether or not this argument/situation is really worth getting into.
(queen of wands, 8 of pentacles reversed, 8 of wands reversed, queen of pentacles, ace of swords, 3 of wands reversed, page of cups)
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arkhammaid · 7 months
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | BEFORE THE FAMILY
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fandom. formula one & mcu
about. y/n meets the stark clan
content warnings. written in 3rd person + headcanonish, not edited & proofread!
word count. 0.8k
notes. first 'lore' chapter!! i'm excited and hope you all like it <3 i would love some feedback hehe and any reblogs are ofc greatly appreciated!
before...
TONY STARK
y/n l/n grows up surrounded by motorsports, especially motogp. with her mother being a worldchampion, it's only natural that fast cars and bikes are her every day entertainement.
she's raised as an only child and by a single mother, she doesn't even know who her father is. and if she's honest, she doesn't care about it at all. why would she need a father, when she has already such a cool mother?
while her mother loves her independet daugher, she still thinks she should know about her father and tells her the truth. tony stark, also known as iron man, is her father. they had a short relationship, akin to an affair but it ended with both of them being extremely busy with their lives.
but just because y/n is aware who her father is, doesn't mean he's aware that he has a daughter. and he hasn't been for a long time, not until y/n's career in single seaters properly started. he regrets meeting her so late (in her teenage years) but never holds it against her or her mother.
how do the two meet? well, it's quite tragic... with her mother losing her year long fight against cancer, y/n is left alone, since her mother didn't have any close family. not wanting to end up in forster care and stop her career, she seeks out tony and shows up on his doorstep one random wednesday afternoon.
he's shocked, but pretty much believes her, when she tells him who she is. tony is of course no fool and still does a dna test, but even if it came out wrong, he would've taken care of y/n- he immediately felt a connection.
within the same week, tony gains custody of y/n and she moves to new york, but still goes to a boarding school until she's a candidate for formula 4.
PEPPER POTTS-STARK
y/n meets pepper in the same week she meets tony. not as her step-mother, but as CEO of stark industries and close friend of her father.
they immediately take a liking to each other (they both like to bully tony) and pepper can't help but feel for the lonely teen. y/n doesn't have many friends, especially close ones and with her genius mind, she always felt like an outsider. she only truly fits in with other racers, but then it's more about her talent and they're also all boys and older than her. not somehting everyone likes...
when tony finally ask pepper to marry him, y/n is their biggest supporters. pepper is incredibly touched and makes her maid of honor. she goes even so far, to ask y/n, if she would be alright with pepper adopting her. that evening, many tears were shed.
y/n loves pepper just as much she loved her own mother and sees her as another mother figure in her life. she still doesn't call her like that, but sometime she slips up and calls her 'mama', which leaves pepper flustered and deeply touched.
HARLEY KEENER
it takes a bit for tony to introduce y/n to harley, who she meets first as brother. with harley studing in MIT, he only knew that tony had something very important to talk about and wanted him to come home as soon as he could.
but it still took two months, until harley and y/n met, but luckily they hit off. harley knows what it's like to have a smaller sister, so he stepped up as big brother again, while y/n was a bit unused to no longer being an only child. but with harley being a full-time student, it felt as if she was one.
despite harley acting like an older brother to y/n, it still took a long time for them to actually grow closer. harley lost his family few years ago, but the thought of actually having a younger sister again... well, let's say he had a few things to say to his therapist.
but a few years have passed now and they're close, despite rarely seeing each other, with harley working at SI and y/n having to travel the world for her racing.
PETER PARKER
y/n meets peter as tony's intern very early, so she experiences the process of him getting adopted first hand. with both of them beings so close in age, they're close by default.
but it also helps that they have a similar humor (proud genz) and interests. peter starts focusing on engineering, just because y/n is heavily involved with it and y/n does physics and biochem work with peter, to help him as spider-man.
when peter gets adopted and becomes a proper stark, y/n set the goal to become his favorite sibling (he always talks himself out of the pick with "my favorite sister is you", fully knowing he only has one).
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taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles, @fangirl-dot-com , @nichmeddar , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora, @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozarts , @leclucklerc , @yl90
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
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Okay so. What if... An exorcist's halo protects them from whatever hell does to make sinners into their weird demon shapes. And hell has a very *interesting side effect on exorcists without their halo*.
So like
Charlie takes Vaggie home to heal, and while at first she's recovering... she starts feeling *off*. Like this bonedeep discomfort and ache in her muscles
Her senses feeling adjitated and overly sensitive
Her instincts getting set on edge
That itch to fight
And then one night
Charlie hears vaggie screaming
Vaggie only has a vague recollection of what happened that night.
Her body feeling like it was trying to twist itself apart. Almost like when lute tore off her wings...
And then suddenly everything was *loud*, her senses on overload.
Meanwhile charlie... *got chased by vaggie around the house*
She may not have her wings
But her body was *covered* in feathers, her teeth growing into fangs, and her lone eye taking on the look of a bird of prey.
Her hands grew into talons, and the senses she already had as an exorcist ran *wild*
(Thinking exorcists already have some predatory senses like having a strong sense of smell. Meant specifically for being able to sniff out wounded sinners)
Charlie managed to keep vaggie from hurting her or anyone else
Meanwhile vaggie... opened up her injuries while wrestling with charlie.
When she finally changed back, she was very sore, and very very confused
And charlie, not really knowing any better, just thinks this is the type of sinner vaggie is.
So they just sort of slowly figure things out. By the time the hotel opens, charlie and vaggie have a regular routine. As far as the hazbins are concerned, vaggie takes some time for herself every so often. The only person visiting her being charlie. (Charlie figured out real quick that were-vaggie seems to enjoy having a 'nest' in their suite. It helps keep her calm, even to the point she can cuddle with her big bird of prey).
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she likes having a NEST in their room ;m;
HEY. HEYYYYYY!!!!! WERE HARPY VAGGIE BC OF NO HALO LIKE SOME KINDA HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE SHIT AND CHARLIE'S JUST LIKE "oh ok so we need to start marking this in the calendar" THE HAZBINS ARE LIKE "wow they get loud sometimes~" AND VAGGIE. Vaggie... would she have any idea what was happening? WHY it was happening?? does she KNOW fully what's going on or is Charlie skipping some details bc to Charlie they're not that big a deal (sinner trying to kill her, the princess of hell. that's cute) and not upsetting Vaggie is more important HRRRGHGHHG FLOOFY FEATHERY TALONED VAGGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ok. calmer now. but listen i love it i love having a way to wiggle feathery burd of prey Vaggie into being as a REVEAL of the exorcist's true selves hidden by the halos-
AND THAT YES SHE SCARY AND DANGROUS AND YES SHE HAS THE URGE TO MINDLESSLY HUNT HUNT ATTACK ATTACK
but.... she can feel calm, even in harpy mode....if she's helped to feel safe. If she's snuggled in a nest by Charlie,
rrrrrghghgh is she a monster made to hurt or is she alone and grounded in a place that feels like danger. maybe being in Hell fires off all her exorcists instincts and burns her for the need for sinner blood and the feel of rending flesh with talons, or maybe being in Hell without her Flock scares the shit out of her harpy brain- until even her harpy self gets so used to Charlie being around and Charlie being safe that it wakes up one day and DOESN'T feel alone anymore
ANYwAY THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT A POST I HAVE HAVE ON MY BLOG NOW HRGGGAHHHHH
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mangoshorthand · 8 days
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A rough outline to rewrite S4
We didn't need a big apocalypse. We needed the umbrellas to symbolically overcome their childhood abuse.
We begin...
A few months post-reset. Nobody remembers the Umbrella and Sparrow Academies. This Universe kinda sucks too: Reggie's monopoly on everything has created some serious wealth inequality and social issues. The family are all kinda screwin' around, finding their feet to varying degrees of success.
Luther's tirelessly looking for Sloane
Diego and Lila are preparing for parenthood, both freaking out but excited over it. Diego is very protective. Cute, but suffocating.
Allison's got everything she ever wanted, but it still feels hollow and (surprise) she still has her powers and is still abusing them to get what she wants. Her and Ray are on the rocks because he's now a social-justice advocate, and Allison doesn't want to rock the boat with Reginald.
Klaus is loving life. Addiction's easier to battle with no ghosties to blot out. Being mortal sucks but he only found out about it a few days ago anyway so it doesn't change much.
Five is stuck in juvie getting mandated therapy, gets diagnosed with PTSD and, against his will, starts to work on feelings of anger towards his siblings for their lack of appreciation. (Hmm sounds familiar...I actually have a fic....)
Viktor, loyal to Luther, is trying to help him find Sloane and is sort of taking the lead role on it because Luther's struggling.
Ben starts off being a selfish asshole, but it all feels empty and lonely, so he semi-reluctantly joins Luther and Viktor trying to find Sloane, his only sister.
Essentially, everyone's setting themselves up to have satisfying character arcs that resolve the shit brought up in previous seasons.
MEANWHILE
We discover that, because Reggie was interrupted resetting the universe, it's all kinda fragile.
At different rates, the Umbrellas slowly start to gain back their powers. It turns out they lost them temporarily after Reginald used their marigold to power the reset machine, but it's effectively bound to their DNA, so it regenerates within them just like any other cell would, (explaining why Viktor removing it from Harlan didn't work in S2). And then we discover that Reggie's autocracy and constructed happiness with Abigail is contingent on continually maintaining a 'hole' in the universe left after the incomplete reset. He needs a Marigold battery on hand to try and plug the gap. And we discover Sloane, memories wiped and constantly hooked up to a machine that sucks out her Marigold as quick as she can regenerate it, (and Reginald has his eye on them all as potential backups).
So...
The band gets back together! Time to rescue Sloane and defeat their Dad!
Ben is PUMPED, starting to realise that maybe the Umbrellas are family too.
Luther goes hulk for love.
Diego is terrified Lila will get hurt and wants to effectively lock her up in a closet again like in S3, but he learns he can't do that, and Lila kicks ass while super pregnant.
Five initially refuses because he's salty they left him in juvie and is sick of them undervaluing him but eventually gets his shit together and rides in at a crucial point to save the day. He finally gets a fucking hug.
Allison feels guilt, and anger at Reginald. The way he's exploiting people is nakedly obvious now, and she finally joins Ray in the fight
Viktor's leading the charge. He's unashamedly the leader and the rest are looking to him for guidance.
Klaus is suffering again. The ghosts and immortality is back, and meanwhile the little girl in the void is being super cryptic and annoying, making veiled foreshadowing comments every time he ends up in the void, but she does reveal that she is why he is immortal begin with. It was never his power, it was her sending him back every time.
And...
We have a showdown with ass-kicking and Reginald screaming that they're dumb kids who don't know what they're messing with, but screw him! And when they're confronted with Reginald's hole (heh heh), everything the little girl in the void said becomes clear to Klaus. He has to touch Reginald's hole (never gets old) with his powers activated to act as a conduit for the girl, the creator of the universe. This will allow her to fix the universe back to her original design without all Reginald's tampering. Klaus is the connection between the world and the void and, powered by his Marigold, she can use his memories to put it all right. It's a Deus ex machina.
The only problem is, he will die in the attempt. This is the 'use' she told him she had for him in one of the previous seasons, (or maybe that was the comics?). Klaus realises that this might actually be his one opportunity to die. The alternative is to live forever, never fully reuniting with Dave and watching his family die off one by one. So he does it. He fingers Reginald's hole, (harshly, with no prep). Klaus makes a heroic, Christ-like sacrifice and boom, the reset completes. We are effectively in the first timeline, in the Academy courtyard with no apocalypse on the horizon. Reggie is dead, all most of the symptoms of his autocracy are gone. All is well, except our heroes are just sad. Klaus fixed it, but now they've lost their glue.
But...
Klaus awakes in the void, happy and at peace. Dave is there, and the reunite, but it's clear he's sad about what happened. The little girl is there too, and she offers Klaus one last go at mortal life, because she finds him kind of annoying to have around anyway.
Klaus agrees, saying goodbye to Dave until they meet again, and then he falls out of the sky and lands with a smack in the courtyard. He explains, and many Jesus jokes are made.
After the revelry is over, there's a moment where the siblings go: "Huh, what now?" as they realise they still have a lot of their old problems and a lot of inner work to do.
And then Lila goes into labour. We finish on a birth montage. Everyone holds the baby, tears are shed and they end the series together. Not perfectly happy and still dysfunctional, but at least they have the chance to get better now.
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moon-song-and-star · 3 months
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@graveyardparade look what you've done to me.
They wrote a lovely post about how justifiable Riz's fear of being alone is as an Aroace person who's only seen financial stability in romantic couples, I'll link in at the bottom.
~~~~~~
Adventures end, and Riz is terrified of the inevitable settling down of his party. One day, the Bad Kids, all grown up now, finish a campaign and leave for separate houses, and Riz just knows it'll be the end. They'll fall apart, like Lydia Barkrock's party did, and he'll be alone. He fights tears tooth and nail that night.
Then, it happens like this:
Fabian's never not lived in a big ass house, why change that? So he buys that big ass house and immediately hates it. It's lonely. He stumbles through an awkward, fast confession style explanation of this to Adaine and both of them hear an invitation when it's over.
Adaine's living in a shitty apartment with Aelwyn. This Elvin Oracle gig still doesn't pay. Adaine loves her sister so much, but damn does that woman not take care of herself. She's ace and comfortably single, and she immediately agrees to move in. He's got a tower, come on, that's her thing.
Neither Fabian nor Adaine remember when Kristen decided to stay. Grown up though she is, she's still a fucking mess when her relationships end, so crashing the guest bed and crying about her ex girlfriend eventually turns into fully living there. Kristen remembers. She'd had thought that she'd never been happier, and started calling it home the next day.
Eternally stable mechanic Gorgug and his chill partner buy the more orc acessibly sized place across the way, and they eat dinner at the house Fig lovingly calls Bad Kids Headquarters, or BKHQ, nearly every night.
Fig and Ayda don't settle. Both of them want to travel the world, and Aydas got her nest in Compass Points already, but there's a door from the HQ that goes straight there, and they come and hang at least once a week. Fig has a bi-weekly jam sesh with Gorgug, and her room has a rad four poster bed.
When Riz gets back from his (admittedly a little time-fucky) undercover gig for Angel Dad, a guest room's been converted to an offic space. It's got one door to five places (Bastion City, Leviathan, Fallinel, home in Elmville, and Gravalvia in the Baronies, which Fabian thought would be funny) and another door to the conjoining room, also redone. Said room includes a second and third murder board, a desk, a fully stocked mini fridge for the hyperfocus hours and no bed. All the walls are decked out like a cat tower with plenty of places to obsess, theorize, scramble around, and hunker down when sleep finally comes to catch him. His friends smile at him when they tell him it's his. Kristen and Fig drag him around the rooms, pointing, and Adaine tells him about spell building with Ayda for the Howl's Moving Castle style office door, while Fabian grabs his suitcase and Gorgug mentions the Small size accessibility stuff they'd just finished installing.
Riz was wrong. As if his friends (no hey, The Ball, we're family, don't you know that by now?) sorry, family would ever give up on him.
Riz cries. It feels better than he thought it would.
Link to the post that inspired whatever the fuck that was:
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The idea of Lucifer time tracking back to Eden times. He meets Adam and falls in love, seeing and understanding how lonely and abounded Adam felt. He finally understands how much his actions hurt Adam and while he couldn’t intervene due to the possibility of losing Charlie, he tries to make up for it with himself.
Lucifer is able to travel back and forth between Eden and the ‘old hell’ where he begins to rebuild it.
Basically Lucifer becomes Adams friend while his other self is still sneaking around with Lilith.
Adam: you look like lucifer ?
Lucifer: ah, well that’s…I mean, I’m not ‘lucifer’ I’m somebody else.
Adam: why do you look like him then?
Lucifer: all angels are made to have some resemblance between them. For example Michael looks like Lucifer too, does he not?
Adam: yes he does…but lucifer said that’s because their twins and were born from the same star???
Lucifer: that’s right. I’m their elder brother! Yes! I was born before them, that’s why THEY look like me
Adam: oh okay. Then why haven’t Lucifer ever talked about you?
Lucifer: you see Adam…I did something bad
Adam: bad?
Lucifer: hmm. I did something father disapproved off and I was punished for it
Adam: punished?! Are you okay?
Lucifer: oh I’m fine now! Don’t worry about that!
Adam: that’s good. But where were you all this time?
Lucifer: part of my punishment was to be sent somewhere
Adam: where?
Lucifer: a…a place called hell. It is a dangerous place with very bad people.
Adam: and you were to watch over them?
Lucifer: um yes? I am the king of hell
Adam: so what is your name?
Lucifer: you can call me the devil
Adam eagerly tells Lilith and lucifer all about his new friend. At first Lilith is excited about this new Angel while lucifer is bewildered. Eventually they came to the conclusion Adam made ‘the devil’ up and begin to disregard him again. Even the other archangels don’t believe Adam when he talks about devil lucifer . Until one day when Lilith and lucifer are caught by heaven and Lilith is punished for refusing to be the mother of humanity (before eve was supposed to created) Devil Lucifer makes his presence known.
Lucifer: Adam does not need a new wife.
Sera: who…who are you?
Lucifer: why, I’m sure Adam told you y all about me
Michael: I suppose you’re the devil he speaks then?
Lucifer: I suppose so
Michael: leave this place! You are not welcome in Eden!
Lucifer: I am the King of Hell. You are no match for me, Michael.
Sera: what are you intentions with the first man?
Lucifer: he will be my queen.
Afterward the archangels return to heaven, leaving Adam, devil lucifer, archangel lucifer and Lilith still in Eden.
Adam is confused and hurt by everything. He is hurt by Lilith and archangel lucifer, and confused by devil lucifer. He runs away when devil lucifer tries to convince him to leave Eden and come to hell with him. This allows the two lucifers to meet.
Archangel lucifer is jealous and miffed.
Devil lucifer uses this opportunity to insult his old naive and stupid self lol
A rivery sparks between the two while Lilith is extremely confused over everything. Especially when she realises devil lucifer wants Adam, not her.
lol
Now we have a confused and scared Adam
A possessive yandera devil king lucifer
A jealous and second guessing his choices archangel lucifer
A pissed and jealous Lilith
Maybe Adam gets the best of both worlds or maybe he avoids both lucifers and lives his life peacefully in Eden.
Don’t know if eve would be made now. A new man would definitely have to be made due to devil lucifers involvement so eve could be made from the new man or Lilith eventually gets with the new man?
Wow the amount of drama!! I love it!
See, if Lilith and Angel Lucifer slept together already Charlie could still exist.
I think Eve would still be made and another man.
I just want Devil Lucifer and Angel Luicfer to fight over Adam LMAO. Devil Lucifer would feel more entitled to be with Adam I think? Both would be jealous for sure.
Maybe Adam would suggest being with both of them but THEY don't want to share HIM.
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juniorfor2 · 1 month
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The writers fixation on making Rhaena a nanny rather than a diplomat when she goes to the Vale is sooo indicative of how the writers see any action that isn’t traditionally masculine.
Since Joffrey was aged down and so was his dragon’s size, someone obviously needed to go to the Vale to make sure Jeyne Arryn wouldn’t take offense. That was part of why Rhaena was sent - the writers at least remembered to mention it. The problem was that it wasn’t the focus.
Rhaena does get to talk with Jeyne about the agreement made for an army, but it doesn’t last long and ends frigidly. Rather than portray Rhaena as her book self - charming, delightful, and able to make friends easily - they instead reduce her to being lonely and choose to ship her and the kids off to Pentos as if she was either getting kicked out or kicking herself out due to feeling unwelcome at the Vale. She’s morose, and Jeyne seems very passive aggressive towards her, leading us to assume that there wasn’t even a point of Rhaena trying to go to ensure Jeyne would send her army - Jeyne would have chosen whether or not to regardless of Rhaena being there.
By writing this, Rhaena is regulated to someone who cannot have purpose without having a dragon. She cannot do anything at all without the same sort of power that everyone in her family already has.
Now, a lot of people have blamed Rhaenyra for this.
“I need Baela here.”
“Because she has a dragon.”
After all, it Rhaenyra who asked Rhaena to a mother to them, right? So she must have been the one to decide not to give Rhaena a larger role. The problem with this idea though, is that Rhaenyra herself is suffering from the same problem.
Just like Rhaena, Rhaenyra is not written to have a larger focus on politics - such as running the keep, looking over petitions and ensuring that tension isn’t rising up in her army, sending letters or grain or gold to her vassals, or overseeing progress during the councils. Instead, they have her pine, just like Rhaena, over not being able to do anything.
Rhaenyra does have a dragon of course. Due to being a woman however, the writers decided to portray her as someone constantly overlooked and unable to do anything unless she is a man. She has no larger role herself. She hardly even acts as queen most of the time.
They’re both facing the exact same writing problem, they just have slightly different obstacles. Rhaenyra cannot do anything unless she is a man, Rhaena cannot do anything unless she has a dragon.
This could have been easily fixed had the writers simply allowed them to have their book personalities. There was no need to have them do absolutely nothing, especially when the whole point was to give them more to do. But by reducing both of their characters to “girl who is jealous of those privileged with power and can’t do anything unless she gets said powers” the writers have in fact given them even less than in the book. They have no personality, they only wish for more to do while doing nothing to change anything, and when they do finally gain power, it is not by gaining their own kind of it, but by gaining the exact same that others have (sword-wielding, physical strength, dragon riding). It is not unique, it is not hard to access for anyone else in the family, and it doesn’t build their character in any way, yet apparently they are useless without it.
The writers had a very easy path if they had wanted to give Rhaena and Rhaenyra more to do - all they had to do was make it unrelated to dragons and fighting. Making alliances is important. Ensuring a council gets things done and shares all information is important. Keeping everyone loyal in the army is important. Increasing security in your own keep is important - especially when a soldier gets all the way into your bedroom unchecked and nearly kills you. There are a lot of things to do during the war, and most of it isn’t fighting. I don’t understand how the writers don’t get this in a story about women, but their clear bias and envy for traditionally masculine power is ruining this story.
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starleska · 1 year
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barges in/ WHAT ABOUT BTAS JERVIS X READER?
OWO
why, thank you for asking 😉 i've had this persistent concept knocking around my brain wherein Jervis earnestly tries to move past his devotion for Alice...only to tumble straight back down into obsession when he meets You 😳
Jervis Tetch x Reader First Meeting headcanons
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🎩 although it pains him to admit it, the years of unrequited love have taken their toll on Jervis. his Alice is long gone—departed from Gotham with her now-husband (filthy brute), with a new name and her hair dyed a mousey brown. as far as he can tell, she's dropped off the map entirely, and it's been nearly a year since he last caught any trace of her. months in yet another cold, lonely stint at Arkham leave his soul more empty than ever before...and he decides, one lovelorn night, that such suffering should not befall a gentleman. although the thought sickens him, Jervis resolves that when he gets out, he is going to make a fresh start...even just for a while.
🎩 when finally he next escapes (his technology being instrumental in a jailbreak largely orchestrated by the other rogues, of course—no need for him to do their dirty work), Jervis makes good on his promise and leaves Gotham for a few cities over. he travels in civilian clothes and fights the urge to wear any sort of hat, fearing that even a simple cap could betray his identity. yet the experiment is a success. within days he has sequestered himself in an unassuming little apartment, and even ventured out to speak with a neighbour or two, none of whom recognise him as The Mad Hatter. it's a queer feeling, not seeing fear reflected in the eyes of those around him...and it gives him a quiet thrill which makes him forget himself, leaving Jervis grinning far too wide.
🎩 still, Jervis is a man with certain compulsions. he's partial to an afternoon walk, and at 3 o'clock exactly makes his way out into his new city, looking for nothing in particular and simply enjoying air without walls. however, he soon comes across a quaint little teashop, its sign scrawled in a delightful Shakespearean font and the windows ringed with English ivy. "How serendipitous," Jervis murmurs to himself. "I shan't pass up an opportunity such as this...after all, you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling!"
🎩 Jervis orders his usual beverage without incident and takes a seat which gives him an excellent view of the whole teashop. his discerning blue eyes scan the room, but it isn't until he's cleared half the customers that he realises he was searching for a glimpse of Alice's golden hair. Jervis sighs, and takes a long, sad sip of his tea—only to splutter when he spots You in the corner of the room. You are tucked up with your legs crossed, your nose buried in a book. there's a little half-smile on your face, and Jervis watches with interest as you chuckle at something you read. he stares at You and the book, and an icy chill of recognition works its way down his spine.
🎩 before he can stop himself, Jervis abandons his tea and makes his way over to You. for a full minute he looms over You quite unnoticed, so absorbed You are by your book. after quietly clearing his throat does not catch your attention, Jervis opts to take the direct approach. "Excuse me, my dear." You look up, curious. Jervis smiles with all his teeth—too bright, too intense. "I do hope you'll forgive my impudence, interrupting you on a fine day such as this. But may I ask...what are you reading?"
🎩 "Oh!" You say with a giggle. You turn the book towards Jervis, revealing the cover. "I'm reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It's my favourite story."
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astroyongie · 5 months
Text
What are you choosing ?
Note: hey everyone! This is  little something that I have constructed in a way for you to see if you really know yourself but also as a way to heal and understand your inner desires and needs. This is a part of what we call shadow working, hopefully it will help. you are free to do this quietly, or if you want to share with me, feel free to do so <3
How it works?: please choose one option between the two and try to argument within yourself why you chose that 
This or that ?
Question 1
an apology from your father 
a hug from your mother
Question 2
being loved
being able to love
Question 3
your father choosing family over work
holding your childhood pet one last time 
Question 4
a good night kiss
your hair getting brushed and braided
Question 5
the ability to forgive yourself 
finally being heard and understood in your family 
Question 6
“i am proud of you” from your mother
“i love you” from your father
Question 7
reading you favorite childhood book for the first time
a letter from that one friend you one day never heard from again
Question 8
crying in your mother’s arms 
yelling at her all the things you were too afraid to speak out loud
Question 9
not feeling constantly lonely
 not feeling constantly misunderstood
now please choose one number between 1-6. pick the one that you are currently feeling most attracted to. and read your message: 
1- Yeshe Tsogyal: you will be able to overcome all of the obstacles you are currently facing. allow your spiritual guides to guide you through this and trust the process, the path that you are in. surround yourself with the people you know bring you only light into your life, allow yourself to trust them more and to trust yourself as well. by working on your spiritual side you will be able to overcome your shadow self.
2- Yogoni: Of course there’s a lot of changes happening in your life at the moment, but keep in mind that sometimes a door will close in order for another to be opened. trust your path and tell yourself if thighs aren't meant to be because life is trying to limit the pains in your life. stay faithful to yourself and your healing oath, as long as you stay authentic to yourself, you will be able to overcome things 
3- Terra Mater: your mental and spiritual path does not unfold like most people, it is taking a different way but you need to trust the process, as your spiritual guides love you unconditionally and they will help you find peace of mind. follow the new ideas and accept the changement that is happening in your life. your manifestation is strong, use it wisely. you know that goal you have? grasp it. Even if people say that it's stupid and impossible for you to have it, don't let it go and fight for your desires.
4- Beatitude: don't be afraid to show the true you. The only way to heal your inner conflicts and the pain is by accepting and loving who you are. even when things seem so hard to reach, keep walking down the rightful path and trust life. all the difficulties are going to bring you to wisdom and the right path.  
5- Biche: You are only a child that has been hurt. I am so sorry that you had to go through this hard thing. but your energy is able to overcome all of this negativity. you don't need to become something that you are not, your spiritual light is already warm and soft. keep yourself true to your inner core and things will become easier 
6- Volva: your spiritual power can heal your dark self way better than what you think. It's time for you to travel through the spiritual world and engage yourself more. don't try to control what is happening and allow it to unfold before you. instead work on something tangible, on something that will help you healing from all the pain you have suffered
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honeyatsu · 8 months
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Loner 4 (Junpei x Reader)
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PREV | Masterlist
TW: mention of suicide
a/n:
Hiiii ~ T_T it's been so long since i've written lol! I am sorry if its not good....im kinda rusty! I found this draft after trying to fix my laptop and going thru my things....I figured why not finish it!!! :D I loved working on this fic even tho the only thing done is the outline/draft...i missed writing so im just getting back into a hobby I once loved again ((: I am sooo sorry if my writing style is no longer enjoyable lol but only way to get better after a too long break is to keep writing :D !!!
You decide to take matters into your own hands when Junpei doesn’t return to school the next two weeks – literally.
If the empty desk next to you and continuous lonely lunches weren’t offensive enough, he had the audacity to not even open your texts anymore. Leaving your texts on delivered as opposed to the checked read notification you would often see desperately checking your phone at the end of the day, along with sending your calls straight to voicemail. Sometimes you think you would feel less offended if he just blocked you.
So, you generously speak to your school advisor, showing concern in your friends’ absence and inevitable fate of falling behind – you offer to take his missing work to him and help him catch up, not a complete lie. You weren’t one to be ghosted— ever. A shot to your ego mixed with a concern of your best friend, you decided if he was going to ignore you, you would just go to him. Even if it meant getting his address through the school, no matter how creepy it sounded, whatever context you would put it in.
“Are you taking those to Junpei?” you turn to see your underclassman and teammate, Ino, staring at you with her large doe hazel-eyes, her naturally flushed cheeks spreading from one corner of her face to another.
Cute, Ino was cute. You offer her a simple nod, the white pages your fingers were buried under slightly slipping from your grip, Ino catching it, leaning it towards you again before they could fall. “Do you want me to come and help?” Her tone was sincere and kind, you could say her voice was almost as angelic as her face.
Your stomach churned, body becoming stiff as she stood in front of you, batting her doe-eyes at you with a smile. She annoyed you.
“It’s fine. Gotta go.” You mutter, gripping onto the folders and sheets tightly, speeding your way past her.
It’s lively here, the area you need to walk through in order to get to his home. There are students, chatting, taking up the streets and shops as they lounge around after school. When you walked passed Tatsu Ramen, you tried to not let the bitterness linger around, seeing familiar (yet not so friendly) faces eating there. You flick your tongue against your teeth, wondering if Junpei decided to finally stop ignoring you, where would you two go now. You try to avoid them, quickly shuffling past them, using the stack to cover your face.
The walk wasn’t a short one, nor a long one. It was far enough to make your ankles ache, holding onto the heavy workload – you weren’t sure if you felt bad for the missing work he was going to have to do, or the scolding you were mentally rehearsing to give him.
Either way, it was a headache he deserved, you thought.
The lecture that wasn’t ready was going to have to come sooner rather than later, as you spot him walking toward his home, his clothes baggy and even from the distance you were at, he was more relaxed than you’ve seen him ever be at school. You were at the top of a small street-hill that came before his house, the slope only aiding your speed as you ran towards him, shouting his name, gripping the folder and paperwork that were fighting to slip through your hands.
The closer you get to him, the sloppier your moves are, your nerves reaching all the way to the tip of your toes, the crack on the street not helping as you trip over it. Junpei’s arms reaches out, stopping you from falling into his chest with both hands placed on your shoulder. You stare him in the eye, chest heaving and breath loud and messy, you don’t care that you’re practically blowing your breath into his face. Seeing him felt like seeing a ghost — but seeing his wide eyes turn into a small scowl felt like seeing a ghost who just punched you in the chest.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he observed the piles of work placed on your hand. He scoffs at the sight.
“You’re not in the right to ask questions! Do you even know how a phone works?” you huff out, trying to catch your breath and put your adrenaline at ease.
A look of shame left as quickly as it came as he let go of you giving you a slight shove, his lips pouting as he faced the opposite direction of your face, “Don’t tell me you’re here because you’re worried about my coursework.”
“Well, for us to graduate together, you kind of need to pass. I just thought I’d do you a favor.” Your lower your arms to remove the work that was covering half of your face, displaying your frown even though he was refusing to look at you. You take a deep breath as you contemplate your next sentence. “Plus, I was wo –”
“Us? There is no us,” You were interrupted anyways.
Your mouth opens but no words come out, Junpei finally turns to you. Looking into your eyes, challenging you, just daring you to say something next. You feel the heat of embarrassment rise to your cheeks – or maybe it’s anger, you weren’t exactly sure how you felt at the moment. At the sight of someone who was supposed to be your best friend staring at you with such disgust, almost as if he regretted getting to know you at all.
“You’re all the same.” He started out. His eyes never left yours. “Did you know we’ve gone to the same school for years? By chance you finally noticed me, and because you were too afraid to sit in the front. You think that makes us friends?” His dark gaze was going right through you, burning. The tension couldn’t be cut with a knife as he tried reading you, scanning you for any reaction.
You give him one, taking a slight step back, mouth thinned. You’re still holding on to the stack of papers, crumpling them between your fingers. He waits for you to reply, but you don’t.
“That’s not what bothers me. Your friends, they’ve been picking on me for years. How are you just now noticing? What – because you think we’re friends you finally think I’m worthy of being saved?” He gives a dry, coarse laugh. “You’re no different from the rest. You think you are, because you became friends with poor Junpei, right? You finally decide not to turn a blind eye, barley. The same way everyone else pretends to not notice, you did too! You let them get away with it. It’s not just me that gets picked on! And unless they’re your friends, unless they’re worthy of kindness, you just let them! Everyone does! Teachers, other students, you!”
You don’t dare to speak; you simply shove the assignments to his arms. You don’t look up, you don’t want him to see your lips quiver at his words – you don’t want him to see you fighting to keep your eyes dry, fighting to tune him out. Your attempts fail you, feeling your own wet lashes against your cheek, a single, suppressed tear managing to escape.
“I never needed you. I never needed your pity, I never needed you to save me!”
Of course, he’s mad at you. You don’t know what you did, but you figure that you abandoning him when there was something clearly wrong the other day had something to do with it. You knew something was wrong, yet you still left. And you feel guilty, so guilty for being such a bad friend, just like he says. You feel guilty, thinking that you could just march to him when you’re the one who is in the wrong. You weren’t a good friend, and Junpei knew his worth. You were convinced you were in the right, that it was okay for you to be mad at your friend for abandoning you, but you abandoned him first. You’re ready to turn your heel, turn back and leave him alone for good, and you almost do.
Almost.
“What’s going on here?” A strong voice asked from behind you. You turned your head to be met with a tall slender woman, short black hair, and holding a cigarette in her left hand.
His tone changes, along with his facial expression. His eyebrow twitches when he realizes who has arrived (at the worst possible time, for him); It did not take you necessarily long to realize who she was, her and Junpei practically sharing the same face. If you weren’t so hurt and angry, you could imagine how humiliated you would feel. Weeks of begging Junpei to let you come over, introduce you to his family — and here you are, face to face with the woman who brought your favorite person into this world (even if he was being an ass right now); snotty nosed, eyes glossy, and an ugly tight facial expression because no, you didn’t want him to see you cry.
“She’s bringing my missing work, just a classmate–”
You cut him off, introducing yourself by giving your name, “I’m his best friend.” you snuck in, bowing to his mother while grabbing a work folder, pointing to it. “I brought his classwork. And being honest, I was concerned. I wanted to see for myself that he was okay.” Considering the fact that he seemed to forget how to use his phone and turned into an asshole, you thought to yourself, but you knew to leave that thought to yourself, not wanting to push any of his mother’s buttons, determined to make a good first impression.
“The ramen girl?”
Your eyebrow twitches, turning to Junpei. It almost shocks you, how after his speech of how cruel he tried to make you out to be, this is what offends you. “Your mother knows me as…. the ramen girl?” Junpei stares at you in disinterest and shrugs.
“It’s not often I get to meet a friend, let alone a best friend.” She grins in amusement, “Do you wanna come in and help him catch up with work?”
“Mom, not necessary.” Junpei mutters quietly.
“It wouldn’t be a problem at all!” You chirped in response, grinning from ear to ear as you follow them into their home, ignoring Junpei’s face twisted in irritation.
Their home is welcoming, fit for a small family of two. His mother (you find out her name is Nagi), goes straight to her fridge, taking out a bottle of beer while settling on her counter.
“I appreciate you doing this for him. I understand school isn’t for everyone and honestly, it isn’t as big as you kids make it seem. “ She takes a sip of her beer before continuing, “but I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate this. Or you. I’m just glad I finally got to meet the girl who’s worked wonders you’re not even aware of.”
The praise makes you flush — your body heating up. You swiftly look towards Junpei’s direction, seeing his face tinted red, from his cheeks to the tip of his ears. He was avoiding his mothers gaze along with yours, looking to the side and pouting, arms crossed. He looked like an angry toddler, and you would laugh, normally — if you didn’t feel he hated you at this moment.
“ — Oh, I’m sorry, am I keeping you guys waiting?” His mother replies with a grin, “You’re free to go on, help your best friend catch up on his work!” She takes both of you, leading your way to his bedroom with her palm on both backs, lightly shoving you through the door.
Junpei is standing beside you, sheepishly, his guilt showering his face as he sees you softly close the door behind you and fist your palms as a way to calm yourself down. You’re nervous, and you can tell he is too, the blush never leaving his face. And as awkward and unpredictable this current situation is (meeting his mom in the middle of a fight and having her throw you into his bedroom, awkward is an understatement), you still know there are things you need to talk about. You slowly take a few steps towards him, each step causing you to take a deep breath before you trap him in a tight hug.
“I should’ve been a better friend.” You mutter into his chest. Still holding onto him, you look up at him and nearly laugh at his surprised expression. “Please don’t think you don’t matter to me. Or that I feel bad for you. I mean – ouch – because of how you judge my character. You are my friend. I care about you, a lot. And I’m sorry for making you feel otherwise.”
The gold locket you usually kept hidden in your shirt was brought out, it felt so delicate in between your fingers, but the feelings and memories with what was inside laid heavy in your heart. You took one last, slow, deep breath before you opened the heart-chapped locket, revealing the photo of your deceased father. “He was bullied at work. My dad. They treated him horribly, told him he wasn’t worthy of being man of the house, or something like that.”
Don’t cry, You try to tell yourself, don’t cry.
“Well, one day it all got to him. And he decided it was easier to leave me and my mom, than to ‘burden us with his pathetic excuse of a husband and father’. At least that’s what he said in the letter. If he asked me, I would’ve said he was great.”
You sigh, closing up the locket and placing it back into your shirt, “I should’ve paid more attention, you’re right. No one wants to believe people are bad, or people with hearts can be capable of being so cruel. I always thought people were just people when my dad died. When I read his note, it was so sad. Life seemed so dimmed in his perspective. I guess I didn’t want to experience my life like that, I became ignorant to those around me, especially my shitty friends. I was around bullies and was too dumb to even see it.”
Your arms quickly found their way around his waist, bringing your head to his chest and looking up at him, the small tears that still haven’t fallen glistening in between your eyelashes. “What I’m trying to say with all of this is, I’m sorry. I understand what they do is fucked up, and I’m sorry for just staying silent. My ignorance isn’t an excuse, it was never okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you. And I’m not enabling those friendships any longer. You’re my friend Junpei, I care about you.”
Junpei wraps his arms around you, pressing his body tightly against yours. He would’ve never guessed you felt as bad as you did — he would have never imagined you having to go through something so tragic, yet remained so strong, so willing, so vulnerable to the world around you.
It’s silent, the forgiveness that’s communicated between the two of you. After the embrace you look up at him, your eyes still glistening but your smile turns into a small curve, your teeth slightly showing before you start giggling, hitting his chest. He follows you after — laughing at how vulnerable and serious you two were with one another, and he’s happy, because this is new. He hasn’t experienced a true friendship, a falling out, or making up after, being vulnerable.
The next few hours are peaceful as you two sit sprawled out on his bed with the textbooks and folders with weeks worth of school work. You promised to help catch him up as long as he promised to stop skipping class and ignoring you, especially during times he needs people most.
Junpei spends five minutes staring at a problem, not quite understanding what he was supposed to do. He calls your name for help, but you don’t respond. “I really need help right now,” he states, bringing his attention to you, lifting his eyes to meet yours; His eyes softened at the view in front of him, the world around you became a blur — you being the focus point, the soft beating his heart slowly becoming rapid, his body becoming flushed seeing you laid across his bed, your mouth agape and slight drool dripping from the side. He stares and thinks to himself, he’s always thought you were pretty, but this would have to be the prettiest he’s seen you.
He slowly lifts himself off the bed, tip-toeing around to make sure he doesn’t make the slightest noise while going to your side, being sure to not wake you from your sleep.
Junpei takes your leg that was hanging from the edge and takes the piles of work spread across his bed and neatly places them onto his desk, sitting beside your sleeping figure and taking his blanket, covering your body. He then lays beside you, on top of the covers so there is a barrier between the two of you. His eyes trace the shape of your body, looking at the little details and appreciating every blemish, every texture, every line on your face. Without even realizing he brought his face closer to yours, in awe at how at peace you look laying beside him after all he’s put you through.
He takes a moment, taking in a deep breath as he decides to swallow his pride, whispering an apology.
And to his surprise, he hears you accept his apology faintly, right before your quiet snores echo around the room. He smiles at the sight, laying down besides you
As you two fell asleep with one beside one another, close but not close enough, his mother barged in, holding a tray of tea, about to offer some until she noticed the sight before her.
She then smiled to herself, wanting to wake you guys up, or just take a picture to tease you two with it later. She decides to let you two have this moment, because something tells her there would be more to come.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
When winter comes, it comes quietly — the snow falling sneaking up on the world, the same way your feelings for Junpei seemed to. You don’t exactly remember when his presence alone would have your heart beating out of your chest, you don’t remember when you would feel heat rise in your face when he would give you a simple compliment, but it made you uneasy — and confused. Because he was your friend, later on you realized that these physical setbacks weren’t supposed to happen around your friend.
Your friendship with Junpei slowly got better, it was like starting from square one, but he got comfortable fast — you’d say things were getting to how they once were, but you’d argue that they were better. Junpei smiled more, he laughed more, he even got bold and would initiate physical contact with you. It should make you happy, that he has become more open, more willing to shed his light not only to you, but others as well. He developed a better friendship with his club members, he even started to acknowledge people that even shocked you, and it should make you happy.
It should.
One moment you’re urging Junpei to smile more. He’s president of a club filled with classmates with the same interests as him, you jokingly tell him if he can handle being your friend he should have no problem making more. One moment you’re skipping down the halls, holding a bag with a surprise for him – a gift, there was no special event coming up, but you saw the item and thought of him. One moment you’re excited to start off his day with one of his warm laughs, and wide smile you’ve come to adore – and now, you’re trying to be still as your legs wobble, witnessing something that makes your stomach turn in discomfort.
Junpei is laughing – an honest, joyful, (almost too joyful) laugh. The gift bag almost drops to the ground, but you gripped it tightly as it nearly slipped out of your palms, your jaw suddenly tensed up, and you feel like even blinking would be impossible. His eyes are practically glistening as he looks down at the pink hair, doe-eyed girl you knew all too well. She looks up at him, reaching towards his upper left arm, grabbing it after giggling something you couldn’t make out to him. Junpei doesn’t flinch, in fact, he doesn’t react at all. He accepts her physical touch as if it was the most natural thing to him, and something in you bursts. It was as if a fire was casted in your chest, as if the devil himself pushed you far enough to run into Junpei’s back, nearly pushing him further into Ino if you weren’t able to catch the back of his school shirt before he got a chance to fall.
Before you realize what you’ve done, you feel Ino’s large eyes on you, a curious look on her face quickly switching to her sweet smile that has the rest of the school on the palm of her hands, and Junpei looking back at you curiously. You remove your hand from his shirt, slowly bringing it to your side, you lower your gaze to the floor, gripping your gift, wishing to any god out there to have you disappear from the scene itself.
“We have things to go over, Junpei.” You try to state as calmly as possible, but it comes out bitter, a shaky voice followed by a nervous hand reaching for his wrist, not waiting for a response before you attempt to drag him to the opposite direction of Ino.
You peak over his shoulder when he doesn’t move, seeing Ino hold onto his other wrist, keeping him in place. You try to imagine how this looks to the classmates around you, Junpei in between of two classmates, both pulling him into the opposite direction. You try to imagine the amount of self control it would take to not grab one of the most popular first years by the head and drag her down the hall without it becoming a big scandal.
Your breath hitches as Ino looks you in the eye, her smile never faulting. You watch her with a blank stare, your eyes staring at her hand gripping his wrist until she drops it. When you look up she looks back at you innoccently, as if she didn’t just send you into an internal war with her. “I asked Junpei to the Lantern festival.” Ino announces, clear and to the point, her eyes staring directly into yours.
“Just…just the two of you?” You blink back, letting go of the grip you have on him. Your gaze switched from staring directly at her to Junpei, “Did you say yes?”
“No!” Ino laughs out, and it pains you to admit how melodic it was, how you get why Junpei is so comfortable with someone he barely knows. “Chifuyu and Hori are coming. I didn’t want to be the only girl, so I asked Junpei to come along with you. You know them right? They’re in your art classes.”
“I’d like to go.” Junpei states softly. You try not to glare at him, huffing to yourself as you mutter back “whatever.” You pull Junpei rougher, which leads Ino to let go as you drag him into the empty art club room.
The room is silent for the first few minutes. The sound of you ruffling through your bag to get things out and place them onto the desk is the only thing that echoes through the room. The two of you avoid eyecontact with one another – Junpei looking at anywhere but you while playing with his hands, you take out pictures you’ve printed, sprawling them across the desk, neatly lining them up to one another.
A majority of them were selfies of the two of you. If the air around the two of you wasn’t as heavy due to the last encounter, you probably would’ve smiled – chuckled, even. These photos were the visual documenting of the friendship the two of you shared, a visual timeline of seeing his comfortablility with you. From looking awkwardly at the camera (you were lucky if you even got a smile), to some blurry pictures of him shying away, they blossomed into him
“You know,” you started off, pretending to look into the pictures as if you were inspecting them, “When I said you should show the more open side of you more often….I didn’t think you’d do it so easily. Especially with other girls.” You try to sound nonchalant. You try to make it sound like a friend teasing another one.
“I – I just,”
“It’s not a problem. It’s just crazy. Lookin’ at these pictures, y’know? How long it took you to get comfortable with me but you talk to Ino as if you’ve known her for years.” You don’t know what you’re implying or why you’re implying anything at all – Junpei is just your friend and it’s not not fair to act like you own him, that you’re the only girl in the world he should be laughing with.
It shouldn’t bother you that he’s getting more social thanks to his friendship with you. This should be a happy moment. But you can’t help the way the memory of him laughing so easily with her causes your skin to burn, or the heavy fall you felt in your chest when you saw Ino’s hand touch him. The red flush that spread around his face didn’t make it better either.
“I feel like I should say sorry.” Junpei admits, “But I don’t know why I’m apologizing.”
“You don’t need to.” You mumble to yourself, still refusing to look up at him. You sigh as you’re shuffling through the pictures, none of them working for you. The selfies themselves were nice, two friends just savoring memories with one another. Staring at them all heeds the realization that these pictures were nothing but mere proof of your friendship with one another, the word friends sitting grudgingly in your mind. “None of these are good enough.”
You feel Junpei tower over you, his eyes similarly scanning the photos you’ve laid out. He brings his arm out, it hovers over you, lighty grazing your shoulder as he grabs a photo that’s caught his eye. Your breath hitches when his chest presses up against your back due to the movement – your body freezing, this physical contact alone having your breath to become uneasy, using every ounce of your strength to not lose the balance onto your legs. Hesitantly, you turn your head to look up at him, his dark eyes glistening, staring at what he’s just picked up with nothing less than stars in his eyes. He brings the picture closer to him, unintentionally wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
Your eyes shift towards the picture he’s holding. It's one of the first ones where he actually felt comfortable enough to look into the camera and smile, his arm wrapped around yours and a peace sign being held up to the side of your face. Your gaze landing on him once again, you tell yourself not to overthink the small grin spread on his face, the red tint that’s just barely making itself visible to you. If you weren’t in such close proximity to him, truthfully, you wouldn’t have even noticed.
“Can I keep this one?” Junpei barely whispers to you. He looks down at you for approval, eyes widening at how close your face has gotten to his. He looks down, noticing it was him who has pressed himself to you, and quickly looks back up into your eyes – face growing redder the more you two look into each other's eyes. You imagine the two of you share the same expression, a mix of being flustered and afraid. His arm wrapped around you stays frozen, afriad that moving would bring you closer or bring your bodies farther from one another. Junpei was unsure which one made him the most uneasy between the two.
Neither of you are sure who brought their face closer to the other, his nose touching yours being the only indication that the two of you were even moving. The quiet room wasn’t silent enough, the beating in your chest too loud for your comfort, convinced that Junpei could hear the way he was making your heart jump. Attempting to break the ice, you open your mouth, closing it just as quickly when you see Junpei scanning your face, his eyes landing on your lips. He tenses up, watching the way it closes and seeing your lips subtly pout.
Seeing Junpei watch you with so much want, feeling his chest rise and fall unevenly on your back, this whole situation became overwhelming for you. Here you stand, a few moments ago trying to rid yourself of the jealousy that was clouding your mind, to now find yourself trapped against him. As close as you two are, it still doesn’t feel close enough. You slightly look away, overwhelmed. Noticing in the corner of your eye the gold sparkly bag making itself noticeable to you on the tabl besides the one with all the pictures.
Whether you were even looking for an escape from the situation or not, you took it, quickly removing yourself from Junpei’s hold. Your cheeks heat up as you shuffle yourself away from him, quickly turning and grabbing the gift back. A deep breath escapes your lips as you turn to him, ignoring the look of rejection spread across his face. You chuckle awkwardly, lifting your arms straight and pushing the bag into his chest.
“I got you something.” You announce too quickly, the sentence almost sounding like one word mushed together. Junpei blinks as he stares at the bag, hesitantly grabbing it and removing it from your hold. Whatever confusing feeling he had left for the time being as he opens it, pulling out the movie Killer Klowns From Outter Space disk.
“I thought you hated this movie.”
“I do. That’s why I’m giving it to you. You can keep it, you said it was hard to find a copy. My mom was gonna toss it anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It was my dads. I would rather give it to someone who matters to me just as much than just throw it out.”
Junpei smiles, a soft “Thank you” leaving his lips while he pulls you in for a hug. You can’t move for a moment – nor speak. Just leaving one awkward situation where your bodies were almost too close for comfort right into another one. You slowly wrap both your arms around him, feeling his grip on you tighten.
While it no longer feels awkward, to deny you felt anything other than your stomach doing flips and feeling so at ease in his grip all at once would be a lie.
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Text
tw: violence, mentions of blood, mentions of drinking, alludes to psychotic break, not proofread (sorry :3)
It's a mess. A huge, disturbing mess. Crimson stains the walls, it soaks through your clothes, making it stick to your body uncomfortably. Your hair, usually combed back and styled perfectly into place, is an array of tangles, sticking up in all directions. Sweat slowly beads down your temple, your chest rising and falling in deep, ragged breaths.
Your eyes move across the room, taking in the damage you'd just dealt. A storm rages within you, your rampant bloodfest had done little to settle your inner turmoil. Your eyes settle on a lone figure, standing in the middle of the room, rigid and unmoving. Their head is tilted down, eyes locked on a singular form before them.
Your footsteps echo in the silent room, menacingly slow, though the figure does not turn their head, they don't acknowledge your presence. They stay rooted in place, their eyes never leaving the person in front of them. When you get close enough, you see the faint signs of life your poor victim still clings to. The unsteady rise and fall of their chest, their blood spilling from their wounds, pooling around their limp form.
Tilting your head ever so slightly, your eyes trail up their body, taking in the number of wounds, and the amount of blood being lost before you find yourself staring into deep, piercing pools of brown. His eyes. A pretty sight they were, pinning you in place with such an intensity it had your breath quickening. Taking him in, you realize just how handsome the poor man was.
Pale skin, tired eyes that bore into yours, a strong nose, sharp jaw, and soft-looking lips parted with his ragged breathing. His chest rises and falls slowly now, each ragged breath he takes looks as painful as the wounds all over his body. Narrowing your eyes, you lean over, reaching out to put the poor man out of his misery, when a strong hand reaches out and grips your wrist with enough force to break it.
"Don't touch him."
It's icy, the way he speaks to you. Like the coldest winter day you could ever imagine times ten. There's a singular emotion within his tone. Rage. It bubbles up in his gut and threatens to overflow when his eyes meet yours. His eyes...they were something else entirely. Bright blue eyes, ablaze with pure, raw emotion, locked on yours in a battle of sheer will.
"Get away."
It's amusing. The way he thinks he holds some sort of power over you. The way he thinks he can order you around. As if he was the one who destroyed the very ballroom you were standing in. It was amusing. Your wrist is still held captive in his crushing hold, his grip never faltering, as you finally open your mouth to speak.
"Why? What will you do if I touch him? If I don't go away? Will you kill me? I'm the only one who can save him at this point. Surely you must know that. You don't strike me as a stupid person." Tilting your head, you continue, fighting off the smug smile that threatens to give away how much you're enjoying this tormenting game you've forced these men to play.
"Or maybe you are stupid. Maybe you think you're the only one who can save him because you're so strong? Is that it? Is your ego so high that you have to send away the only being that could possibly save your...what is he? Your friend? Lover? Tell me. I'd love to waste more time and hear about why you think you hold power over the situation right now."
It's fascinating, the way his jaw clenches at your words, the way his eyes flash dangerously with emotion. His grip tightens around your wrist even more, and you can feel your wrist beginning to crack under his hold. "Shut up. Or I'll kill you where-"
Before he can finish his sentence, his friend manages to speak from below, his voice nothing but a raspy whisper. "Satoru...leave her be." Satoru. What a beautiful name for a beautiful creature. Now if you could get the name of his friend-
"Suguru, don't move. I'll get you out of here. Just stay still." Ah, Suguru. Your eyes flicker down to watch as Satoru drops to his knees beside his friend, his hands reaching out to touch him yet hesitating midair, unsure of himself. Suguru can only smile weakly, eyes flashing in pain as they meet yours, his mouth moving slowly as his words come out strained.
"Forgive his manners...he's always been passionate." How peculiar. Even at death's door, this man finds it in himself to apologize for his friend's behavior. To smile at you - the person responsible for the pain he's in. His behavior has your eyes narrowing, head tilting to the side slightly as you gaze back at him, your hand twitching at your side.
Satoru reaches out to gently brush stray hairs from his friend's face, shushing him and scolding him halfheartedly as crimson begins soaking through his pants. As you gaze down at the two of them, something about them piques your interest. A sort of lightbulb going off in your head, it makes your entire demeanor soften a small degree.
Satoru must sense the slight shift in the ballroom, because he lifts his head to look at your, eyes still a raging storm of emotion, yet there's something else in his blue orbs. A silent plea, a desperate question in his gaze that you recognize even before he opens his mouth. "Help him."
It brings a smile to your face, watching the man before you struggle to contain his emotions, yet wear his heart on his sleeve at the same time. You don't know what exactly comes over you - perhaps it's the drink you'd had or the way you crave to have power beyond imaginable - but you find yourself placing a hand on Suguru's chest, a faint light of gold flashing briefly before you pull back, watching as his eyes drift shut.
Satoru's eyes widen, staring down at his friend's limp form, clenching his jaw as tears fill his beautiful eyes. His head whips towards you, fist raising only to be caught in yours, a bored expression on your features - yet your eyes flash dangerously. "Pick him up. I suggest you follow me quickly; I can only keep him stable for so long." Spinning on your heel, you make your way towards the exit, stepping over the bodies that litter the once pristine ballroom floor, expecting him to follow.
Your eyes flicker over the faces of your old coworkers, lingering on the few you called 'friends'. Such friends they turned out to be, pathetic dolls used by the higher-ups. It was unfortunate that you had to kill everyone here, but seeing as you couldn't get to the root of your rage, you believe this was compensation enough. For now, anyways.
Though, it surprised you to have survivors, as you never had any before. You wondered just how they had survived, it was amazing really. Your power knew no bounds, it coursed through your veins unrestrained. Untamed. Wild. Recklessly. Ironically enough, those were the same words that had been thrown at you by the higher ups. Unrestrained, untamed, wild, reckless. Like you were an animal.
An animal made for slaughter. In their eyes, every single sorcerer was meant for this cruel game of life and death. Though, most sorcerers met their demise much too early, as you'd learned throughout your career - if you could even call it that. You'd driven yourself mad, crazed with the images that plagued your mind day and night. You had no rest, no solace, no safe haven to separate your work life from your personal one. Everything was merged into a hazy blur.
Grueling mission after grueling mission, you'd been pushed to the brink. Your emotions had spilled over the crystal you'd barely managed to keep from overflowing. It was a bloodbath, much like the one you had created tonight, yet this one had casualties beyond what most sorcerers had witnessed. You were a lost cause; nobody could reach you through the fog and walls you had put up to shield yourself from the outside world.
You were supposed to be getting treated, get a break at the very least, or that's what you'd been told. It'd been by complete accident that you'd found out the truth - that your fate had been determined by the higher-ups. You were meant to be executed; the bigger blow was that you would die at the hands of the very people you fought every day to protect. The people you called your friends. That had truly been your final straw, and you'd fled that very night.
You'd been on the run ever since, evading the sorcerers who'd been searching for you Up until a few months ago, when they'd given up on finding you. You'd plotted your revenge for weeks, finding the perfect opportunity to execute your plan of mass murder. A party for the higher-ups or something along those lines. You hadn't paid much attention to the details, driven solely by the satisfaction of giving just a sliver of the pain you'd felt back to the very people who'd dealt it to you.
Only to find out those people, those bastards, weren't even going to attend. It was just a party of acknowledgement, a show of appreciation to the animals who tormented you for years. You'd been outraged when you'd realized, your emotions bubbling up from deep within you until everything exploded. Now, however, as you glance over your shoulder, spotting Satoru striding after you with Suguru nestled safely in his arms, you wonder if maybe everything truly did work out in the end.
And when Satoru's eyes meet yours, his flashing with emotion - raw, untamed, wild, unrestrained emotion - you don't wonder anymore. You know. You know that everything worked out in your favor, because you can see it. That same crazed look in his beautiful eyes, the look you wore for months during your line of work. It's there, perhaps not as strong as yours, but you know it's there. Buried deep down within him.
Glancing down at Suguru, watching his chest rise and fall slowly, you wonder just what exactly would push Satoru into the same madness you fell into.
Perhaps you can give him a nudge in the right direction.
Tonight.
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