#some day the west will treat everyone else as important and not just because they import (/steal) natural resources from there

[aeolianblues]

I'm trying not to block people. But there's only so many times I can go 'give people the benefit of the doubt' and then click their blog and what's literally the third or fourth post on their blogs? They talk about middle eastern people like savages who can't control their violent urges. And of course, more than half of them are Americans. After posing for 20 years, the masks that temporarily went up when anti-war activists criticised the American war in the Middle East are slipping, some of you never really believed brown people to be your equals did you? Get the fuck off my blog.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

✨Staticmoth wedding headcanons✨

Because I have a lot of thoughts but can't come up with the plot to turn it into fic

✨ Vox absolutely loses his shit. You would think that Valentino would be a groomzilla material but oh no no, Val just wants sexy dress and enough coke to last three days of partying. Vox needs everything perfect. He has his grand vision and is ready to tear with bare hands everyone who does not deliver. During the preparation time, he murders as many people as Val usually does. Velvette bails on being the wedding planner after just two weeks because it was seriously straining their friendship. But after a month, she's back in the game. Why? Because Vox strangled three other wedding planners in frustration, and things weren't moving forward, so Val was starting to freak out.

✨ The event is held at the Vees' Tower. I reckon they've got a venue suitable for hosting conferences and porn award shows.

✨ It's a grand event. I'm talking Grand™, like the Kim K and Kanye West of Hell kind of grand. But it's also elite, so the guest list isn't that long, around 200 invited people plus 50 ticketed spots for anyone willing to drop 100k hellish bucks to attend. Everything is dripping with gold and diamonds because "quiet luxury" isn't in the Vees' vocabulary. The whole affair reflects Val's aesthetic more, as it's Vox's love letter to him. Vox already had his wedding, and now it's time to fulfill his husband's dreams. So Val makes about 90% of the decisions without shouldering any real responsibilities. Which is fine by everyone because he's annoying as hell when it comes to picking roses, flamingo feathers, and starters. Nobody wants to put him in high-stress situations. Expect lots of red, pink, and gold, with heavy, decadent fabrics and neon lights; it's like an exclusive brothel meets the Las Vegas strip.

✨ When it comes to flowers, they settled on roses because they're Vox's favorites, which naturally made them Val's favorite too, given the sheer number of bouquets he's received. Vox, being the freak he is, counts every single bouquet he's ever given to Val. So, for their wedding, he ensures there are twice as many roses. Yes, he's a pathological overachiever.

✨ As for attractions, there’s a plethora of erotic dancers in cages and mesmerizing drone light shows. Karaoke, slot machines, live cooking stations, and all the drugs you can imagine. And let's not forget a fountain flowing with tequila. It's a true adult wonderland.

✨ Valentino skips the whole white dress thing and rocks a fierce red latex gown that's very Mugler but with a fetishcore twist. Vox keeps it sleek in a sharp black three-piece suit. His shirt's a bold blue, and his tie matches Val's dress. His shoulder pads are pointy, his waist is slutty, his ass looks divine. Oh yeah, about slutty waist - underneath the shirt he is hiding a leather corset, as a treat for the wedding night.

✨ Also none of them really have friends other than Velvette, just associates so there are no groomsmen/maids.

✨ Since there aren't any traditional churches or government officials in Hell (if there's even a government at all), Velvette takes on the role of officiating the wedding. Vox isn't entirely thrilled with this choice because there's always the risk she might crack a joke or publicly rib him, but hey, there's really no one else who could pull it off. I imagine that a wedding in Hell is also some form of magical contract but more about partnership than ownership. They do not exchange rings but blood sksksk also I don’t think that Vox can really wear rings with his claws? And they couldn't quite agree on a design that satisfied both of them. In the end, Val ends up wearing his illegally imported engagement ring from Earth, featuring four pink diamonds shaped like a moth's wings.

✨ Val's vow is, well, atrocious. It's the kind of thing that would definitely land him in one of those TikTok compilations of terrible grooms ruining their weddings. He mentions cream pieing Vox at least once. Vox at first freaks out but seconds later realizes Wow that's the man I'm marrying. I wouldn't want him any other way On the flip side, Vox's vow is immaculate. Crafted with the assistance of Voxtek's CMO and practiced to perfection, it leaves everyone in awe. He has out-of-body experience playing this role of prince charming.

✨ For their first dance, they opt for a steamy tango. Picture this: swirling red smoke on the floor, making it seem like they're dancing on the sky of the pride ring when the sun is setting down. Little do the guests know, the smoke is laced with drugs, sending most of them on a wild trip. The party quickly goes off the rails, but in the best way possible (according to the Vees’ standards).

✨ The cake is a five-tier monstrosity with five different flavors: tres leches and chocolate-cherry chosen by Val, confetti cake and strawberry cheesecake chosen by Vox and Red Velvet for Velvette because she couldn't shut up about it To top it all off, there's a big chocolate figure of Vox and Valentino dancing. Val is later caught drunk, eating it with his bare hands like the filthy animal he is.

✨ Velvette’s wedding gift is a pair of customized matching guns with small engravings that read "Partners in Crime."

✨ Valentino pulls off a surprise special pole dance performance as a wedding gift for his husband. Let's just say it's scorching hot and leaves at least 50 guests with, uh, visible excitement. Later on, things almost escalate to a full-on table bang, but...

✨ Velvette spends the entire evening reminding them that they can't just vanish to consummate their marriage because this whole party took months of preparations, and they need to be present. After all, people paid good money to be around them. The threat of cock cages hangs over their heads, but they promise to behave. However, Val being the horny beast he is, ends up taking Vox to the bathroom for a quickie anyway. Velvette decides to let it slide this time.

✨ At least 20 casualties mark the night. Vox ends up zapping one of the guests who gets a bit too clingy with Val during the dance. Meanwhile, Val gets into a brawl and, well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the other guy. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be having a great time, but hey, these are the Vees' colleagues we're talking about—they thrive on violence and sex.

✨ Yeah, there's no shortage of sex at this party. With a guest list mainly consisting of businesspeople, adult performers, and mobsters, tensions escalate rapidly. By around 3 A.M., half of the party is busy getting down and dirty in every corner imaginable.

✨ When Vox reaches the perfect level of drunkenness, he seizes control of the DJ station. Surprisingly, he's a natural, dropping beats like a pro and having an absolute blast. Val, meanwhile, goes absolutely wild watching him, thrilled to see Vox letting loose and embracing his creative side.

✨ Derek, Vox's assistant, is the odd one out, the only low-status person to snag an invite because Vox felt kinda generous. But truth be told, Derek hates the idea and wasn't keen on attending. However, when Melissa caught wind of his invitation, she practically dragged him there to be his plus one, desperate to get closer to Velvette. Derek's terrified of most of the guests, but Melissa's over the moon. She later fucks him as a reward for being a very brave boy. Angel is not invited because he would ruin mood of both grooms.

✨ Valentino had prepared the filthiest, kinkiest, most elaborate wedding night, but it doesn't go as planned. Surprisingly, things turn out very vanilla for their standards, with a lot of missionary, eye contact, and hand-holding. After 16 hours of non-stop action, they're both too exhausted to even think about getting creative.

Thank you @purrpleowl @watcherofeternalflame @canadianlucifer @aroromantic @malu897 @staticmothed @chaggieslovechild @gumm1defloor @mayflowersfly for your thoughts!

[alcestas-sloboda]

it’s not about posting less and you know it too well. the issue is your disdain with the middle east and africa so yes, you treat these issues as less important as many ukrainians do.

do you want to know why people bring other countries up? it’s cause no other get that support, aid or coverage. which is exactly what 3rd world leaders have been saying. you’re not worth more than us, we have HUGE issues that the west doesn’t care about and we owe you nothing.

i’ve seen you many times saying people can care about both but you don’t give a single shit about any other country. there’s an ongoing armenian genocide with the sponsorship of the russian state, something you know too well, and yet it’s silent from everyone from the west to you, your players, your government. what’s the difference between the two?

from the moment the war started brown and black people have been ignored, be it when fleeding ukraine, trying to get in other countries. i’m sorry that this is happening, i’m against war. just don’t expect people to support you when you can show the minimum amount of solidarity to anyone else, even if they’re going through the exact same pain as you.

but is this our problem that other problems don’t get as much coverage? why are ukrainians to blame for this? because yeah I do agree with you, there is not enough help for Middle East and African countries, but again why are we to blame?

there is definitely racism and historical colonialism that are involved when we talk about western ignorance of non-white countries, but ukrainians have been doing everything they could for the world to still think about our country and if we stopped, the media would’ve stopped as well.

and when we talk about the beginning of the war and situation with black people fleeing ukraine, im sorry but there has been too much misinformation on this issue, for example, men pushing through crowds into a women and children only trains to. unfortunately, there were some instances where the situation was beyond acceptable but the chaos that overtook the country in first days made it possible. as a country, ukraine reacted to it way to late, 2-3 days later, offering help with communication with the representatives of the states from which people were and after that with logistics. I can’t talk about the polish border though.

[nieves-de-sugui]

My personal experience with BL history for @waitmyturtles​

After reading through the posts of your Old GMMTv Challenge, I decided to add my own perspective, as a watcher, of how BL has evolved as a genre as time went by. I hope this “history from the perspective of the viewer” might shed some light in some of the questions you might have or bring up interesting things for your viewing and understanding of the shows. I will try to not repeat what has already been said through your posts by all the wonderful people in this fandom and keep it as concise as possible (turns out it’s still super long).

I’m gonna use ABL’s chronology of the shows as a timeline guide for easy understanding:

Context: How I made my way to Thailand

I’ve always been into BL (yaoi, gay shows, whatever you wanna call it), but I became commited to it around 2008. The options for queer content back then were very limited, as I’m sure we all remember. But for the sake of adding context this were my go to:

Youtube playlists of cuts of “the gay storyline” from western shows (Brothers and Sisters, Hit The Floor, Shameless, Skins and soap operas (Salatut Elamat, Days of Our Lives), etc), 

Queer as Folk, 

bad japanese live action adaptations of yaoi mangas (Takumi kun) or just sad/melancholic movies about lost men, 

sad chinese movies (usually with fucked up plots), 

indie queer movies (Were The World Mine, Judas Kiss, Shelter, Yes or No, Love of Siam etc). 

But I was starving for more. I wanted shows. 

In the search for more content, through Love of Siam enters My Bromance (very sad ending, also pseudo incest?, still part of what I thought were just indie movies with yaoi influences) and then appears Lovesick (S1 and S2), with very questionable subs, but finally a show with a gay couple as protagonists. 

Lovesick was for me the first show that finally put a queer story as a main thing to focus on, finally breaking free of the eternal side story filled with drama and hurt that was never comforted. After that only Make it Right was around. It was more of the same thing but this time the cast was a lot more reduced and everyone is gay. Also, it showed some of the sexual aspects of the genre (which now feels wrong for so many reasons, but alas). 

One day, SOTUS is on youtube with subs, plus it’s the official channels (yay! finally we can be legal!). 

First shock, there’s an actual plot centered around these two people, who are their own characters besides being gay, and they actually kiss (I remember it was so impactful to me (in a never seen before way) that I did fanart of it). Thai shows became my guilty pleasure, they were bad but they were telling the stories I wanted to see and no one else was doing it. Only Thai shows cared to show cute love stories that ended well, without the big drama we were used to in the west. My thoughts were “It’s bad but I’ll take it, I’m staying here”

Living through the different booms

When Together With Me came out it brought proper making out session and high heat to the genre. Sround here is when I started watching everything that I could find because I had finally found my jam. So I watched all that now I could not watch again (because, man! they’re bad) like 2moons, Puppy Honey S2, What The Duck, My Dream,... And then, with Love By Chance we got the first signs of consent and communication with AePete. It finally felt like we could get stories with healthy relationships. 

Also, Our Skyy came in! Great moment! Treats for everyone! And honestly, it was such a fun project to watch. Iconic side-couples from straight shows getting their moment of spotlight on the same level as the main couples from BL shows. To me, Our Skyy comfirmed the importance of the main 3 (OG, TN, KS) and cemented the path GMM was taking with their BL shows. It started to be part of the norm and not just some shows here and there. It was no longer waiting for someone to make a BL once in a while, but an assurance a small but constant flow of BLs. 

Also Taiwan started the HIStory franchise.

BIG BOOM#1 - TharnType! Also, Ossan’s Love. 

TharnType comes in. The 1st episode ends and everybody hates it for the lack of consent, but everybody loves it for the high heat and the chemistry (also for those of us who had liked Mew in WTD it was nice to see him in this show, that seemed to have less drama around it). Plus, the hype of knowing more about Tharn from LBC, who was such a nice older gay character when he was palyed by Earth (Pirapat).

I think to me, TT was a mix of a lot of the usual flaws with the very new (only achieved before by MaxTul) high heat chemistry  (which despite the controversy is an important part of the BL genre, you can’t take the sex out of BL) and an interesting idea for a plot. 

Also I watched Great Men Academy for Captain (Noh in Lovesick), and he slays. Plus the BL in the show is good (even tho technically not bl, but queer enough)

Simultaneously Japan gets Ossan’s Love, it’s first mainstream BL boom, with very well known actors and gets talked about by the regular drama watchers. Everyone was watching Ossan’s Love in Japan, it brought the genre to the mainstream for the first time. (And prepared the grounds for Cherry Magic, imo)

Other shows that left an impact at the time were He’s Coming To Me and Dark Blue Kiss. HCTM was the great Ohm comeback (who I though we would never see again), paired with Singto doing a BL again. Besides the chemistry, the change in themes was very interesting, it was the first thai bl that showed thai culture for me. For its part, DBK had an interesting opening and Aof personal queer touch to the storyline (which made it wonderful) Especially for MorkSun. It was the first taste of what we know Aof for, but it was also the first time BL had such mature and nuanced themes to it.

little BOOM#1 - Until We Meet Again and Theory of Love

UWMA and TOL, to me were surprises. I thought that like KirstSingto and TayNew, OffGun would never do another BL with new characters. That BL was still just an undervaluated stepping stone that people didn’t treat as a proper genre (as everybody had been doing up to that point, do it once and never be seen near the genre again). 

However, UWMA confirmed that BL was here to stay. It was growing, it was exploring mixing with other genres and famous thai actors were in it. It was also moving away from the usual university storyline. And TOL was the comback of the year. I remember everyone losing their shit (me included), it was the lengendary OG afterall. Up until then they had done cameos and Puppy Honey season 1 and 2 but that was it. TOL also did something interesting with its theme, and the romcom references. AND! it was the first proper kiss in a gmmtv BL. From dead fish PickRome to full on make out with KhaiThird.

BIG BOOM#2 - 2gether and Why R U?

The BL expansion thanks to the pandemic was very very noticeable. Everybody was seeing 2gether and WRU. First time anything BL trended on Tumblr. Everyone was descovering thailand. 

Also 2gether was again a first, it felt like the story made more sense. It was more believable, with tolerable tropes and a cute main pair (this was the first thai show I dared to recommend to someone who was not into BL), plus the music. The ending of the show ruined it for me, however Still2gether Fixed everything that was wrong from the 1st season and showed quickly how the show could’ve been. WRU’s plot was directly affected by the pandemic and bettered what TharnType had started with the high heat chemistry. The whole success of the show is due to SaintZee having amazing chemistry and going with it. 

My engineer was the surprise of the year, it had nothing going for it promising but it managed to be good (I think thanks to some parts of the story and the cast mainly). 

little BOOMS#2 - Cherry Magic and ITSAY and others

The riples of the pandemic 2gether boom were felt in Japan. Nothing breaks throught the japanese content barrier. Japan only consumes MADE IN JAPAN, and yet 2gether made it there. And showed the Japanese show runners that there’s an interest there. Cherry Magic aired a few months after and it was big success, like OL had been. Korea starts with Where Your Eyes Linger here too.

The thing about I Told Sunset About You was that nobody knew what we were getting. I had heard about My ambulance, I even saw some of the clips, but it seemed to be side couple queerbaiting and honestly I wasn’t expecting much. But they had promised a BilkinPP series. I think it’s no wonder it blew our minds, nobody was expecting that! 

Then the big comeback of MaxTul with Manner of Death, broke our minds just as OF had with TOL and bringing again the mature themes to the genre (they are called the daddies of BL for a reason). No one thought they’d come back.

Around here I started watching the GMMtv end of the year announcements. All the build up we had had from the growing of the BL genre and p’Aof culminated on the annoucement of A Tale of Thousand Stars. Because of how it breaks the rules of thai bl (no engineers, no university, no highschool, no city, no 2000′s yaoi tropes just regular shoujo tropes) and tells a compeling story that tasted so new the hype didn’t die even when it came one year later than it should have. 

And Lovely Writer, was the first to present the criticizing of the industry as well as expanding on the mature themes outside of university and the lack of need for fanservice off screen between the actors. They acted like normal people :D

Light on Me appared around here too, and showed us that korea can do better than it had. And Taiwan gave us We Best Love.

BIG BOOM#3 -  Bad Buddy and Kinnporsche

BB was the biggest annoucement GMMtv has ever made. The thing about it was the combo AofOhmNanon. Always grazing BL and forever ghost shipped with Chimon, Nanon decided to do his first (and probably only) BL with none other than Ohm (with who he had great chemistry since they became friends in Blacklist) and under the guidance of Aof. Here I want to add that Aof considers BB to be his first Y series, the ones before were dramas, so I assume by that that the thai public makes a difference between the more mature tone series and the more highschool/university BLs (??). Such a year that was! Accompanied by the epicness that was the annoucement of Not Me (confirmed to be the last OG show... but then they went and annouced another). 

And last but not least, Kinnporsche breaks the internet, everyone knows about thailand now. It entered the realm of darker themes and violence. Accompanied by other shows exploring other themes like: You’re My Sky (sports), Something In My Room (ghosts), etc...

Which is the flow we have now, some of the known old stuff some of the new expanding stuff, waiting for the next boom. My, what a journey!

I hope this was an interesting read and that I managed to show how these shows were perceived when they came out, even though now they might not be as groundbreaking. If anybody else wants to add how they perceived these shows when they came out, feel free to add to this!

[monochroma-reviews]

FILM REVIEWS I: Valley Down Girl (dir. Alastair Kiern

Why exactly did I decided to do Valley Down Girl as my first film review? Because that movie is now permanently burned into my brain, both as a cringefest and as a reason why diversity is important in your teaching staff.

For context, back in Year 4 our teacher was...a specimen, to put it bluntly. She was the only person born on the west side of the Atlantic in my school's teaching staff, and so for many kids, she was their only reliable source of information about what life was like in America (my Mexican heritage only gets you so far). It did not help the quality of information she was giving out that she was born and raised in some reeeaaally remote town in the south of Lousiana (either Cameron or Hahnville).

Anyway, at the end of a long week she would always put on a film for us as a "treat", and the only two films she would play were Valley Down Girl and Jesus the World's Patriot. I could write a whole essay about how World's Patriot changed me inside, but for now sticking with Valley Down Girl.

First of all, it is incredibly unlikely that your film is going to be an accurate portrayal of living in the South as a picture-perfect white family if your directors are named "Alastair" and "Julian". (And I still find it hilarious that this saccharine fest was Alastair Kiern's first directorial outing). The two try their best with a limited budget and the incredibly strict controls set on it by the LCPA (Lousianan Conservatives' Patriot Association, which I believe was done in like ten years prior to us seeing the film for the first time), but the end result is just a mess.

Shirley Dawson is kind of a relatable POV character (before being dumbed down by her asshole of a arranged husband), but everyone else is just ineffectively stupid, astoundingly racist (even for 1930's Deep South rural communities), or in most cases both. The one main black character in the movie (who's played by a modern-day GOP donor) is just kicked to the ground again and again an the movie just portrays it as "comedy" or "justifiable".

Of course, it being created by a conservative Christian organisation means that there are some obligatory beats. It starts and ends with Bible verses, there is an all-American red-blooded sex scene between Shirley (whose actress was 17 at the time) and her horrific partner (played by Earl Daley), and the main messages it carries are one of patience, humility, meekness and what-the-hell-are-you-sure-this-isn't-Utah-or-something-jesus-mcfrying-cornwheel. A mixed-race couple are scorned and dehumanized, and as kids we just sat there appalled at what we were seeing (at least most of us were).

Jesus motherloving. I'm reviewing a religious conservative film, so I will take the Lord and Lord-mini's names in vain however many times I please. Jesus. God damnit. Christ. Jesus Christ on a bike. The ghosts of the beings who relax in heaven cannot affect me here or in Hell. *right where were we?*

So, in general, Valley Down Girl gets a 2/10, and my closing thoughts are "kind of ironic that such a religiously pious film was made with a cast and crew that was like 50% closeted queer".

[thedaveandkimmershow]

In a most classic way, our visit with family ended in a wine bar at John Wayne airport watching the sun go down.

No kidding. Our view was up an aisle, through the terminal's panoramic windows, across the airfield, to a horizon composed of trees and buildings in the distance.

Like many of our trips, this one ended while we were waiting for our flight home.

To honor the moment, we ordered two flights of wine, three red wines for Kimmer, three white wines for me. As we lifted the first of our glasses, Kimmer asked what we were toasting.

A successful trip for sure because there were some last minute hurdles and some Day One plot twists we had to navigate.

A good time with family in Irvine because that's an experience we never want to take for granted because it's always a good time.

The highlights include a family dinner at Lazy Dog Restaurant & Bar our first night. A lovely lovely visit with Jacquie the next day pkus dinner at Bru Grill & Market that night. A peaceful nature walk on Friday morning. And a relaxing,. peaceful Saturday with that lovely sunset.

And last and most important, that Kimmer's aunt Jacquie was present for us, that the two of us had a great experience visiting her in Memory Care.

We never know how those visits are gonna go, is my point. There are a lot of moving parts over which we have no control.

So that's it in a nutshell, these things we're thankful for this trip as the sun sets on the other side of the airfield. As we toast our success. Four days. Done and done.

Not to be overlooked is the family time we got in just hanging out with Kimmer's nephew Wednesday afternoon and night.... and hanging out with her cousin the rest of the time. It's definitely a treat because we're all around the same age with a lot of shared history, similarly twisted humor, overlapping and eclectic interests, and just that family thing, you know? The way we all are around each other, with each other, that's different from everyone else.

Honorable Mention goes to the Lake Forest Enterprise Car Rental office that took care of us when our Thrifty Car Rental reservation arranged through Expedia imploded. After all, what good is a reservation if there aren't gonna be any cars available for another two hours???

Enterprise got us set up on short notice for much less than Expedia was gonna charge us. Plus, we got a VW Golf to drive. We haven't driven a Golf for maybe two decades when we owned the white one that, before our mechanic told us to retire it, could only be driven in third through fifth gears. No first or second gears which made coming up on stop lights a bit of a nail-biter.

In the end, we came down to visit Jacquie, to check in on her and make sure all the moving parts of her care are working smoothly, operating in unison. And they are.

So.

As we're making our way home, passing San Francisco a couple hundred miles to our west, we're extremely grateful for the time we had with Jacquie. The experience we had with her.

That she looks good.

That her care is expertly dialed in.

And that she can still conjure a little of the woman we once knew...

And still love.

☺️

[catxsnow]

BACK TO YOU W.W.

Request: Could I be so bold to request a Wally fic? Where he comes back after his "death" (lets be real we all know he is not dead) and Y/N reacts to it? Could it be fluff, angst, a little of both, that's up to you.

P.s. I love you 😊😊

Warning: angst, mentions of death (wallace), fluff

A/N: hello, good evening, I’m tired as fuck. 

I’ve been thinking about a taglist lately so if there’s interest I’ll start one. I always suffer when I make it for some reason but if the people are interested I will suffer for y’all. 

Word count: 2.3k 

Wally coming back from the dead seemed surreal.

The hope you had for his return never diminished, even if those around you gave up long ago. Wally wasn't dead, he was never dead - he was just stuck in a place that no one could save him. Not Barry, not Bart, Not even Jay. Wally was the only one that could save himself and he had done it.

Broken, battered, and barely breathing he had made it out of the Speed Force. He had made it back to you. It put everyone into shock to see him collapsed in the middle of the team's headquarters. His suit was barely hanging to his body, eyes sunken in with exhaustion. He barely looked alive.

It took weeks to get him nourished back to health. Weeks of him being in a coma, wondering how the hell he managed to get back home. Sleeping at his bedside every night because you were scared this wasn't real or that he would be taken from you again. Long nights of crying because even if he was back, was he even going to wake up?

By the time that he was back up on his feet and running around again, every single league member had come to see him. Those who gave up on him, those who never lost hope, even those who never knew him.

Wally West was back.

Unfortunately, it seemed that a lot of him was still missing. His smile that once never left his face hadn't resurfaced once. The laugh that you remembered so clearly that got you through so many hard days vanished. The light in his eyes when he was running or saving lives was dull. He wasn't the same man you knew.

He teetered around you like a stranger even though every night he told you how grand his love for you was. You noticed him bumping into furniture that had moved from his time away or looking at pictures of people he didn't know with tears in his eyes. He stood by the window, watching for nearly an hour, just staring into the void every other day.

Wally wasn't all back from the Speed Force. He had lost a part of himself in there that he could never get back. Dick tried to fill in the gap of time that he missed, catching him up on everything that he missed but the moment that he came back to you he seemed more zoned out than ever. M'gann excitedly told him about her engagement with Conner, Kaldur with his new position in the league.

Everyone tried to make him feel right back at home, but no matter how hard they tried it would never be the same. Wally lost that time, and he was never going to get it back. He could never make it up to his friends for missing so many important moments in their lives or the grief that he put them through.

No matter how fast he ran, how many hours he stayed up wondering if things would have been different that day, none of that would change the fact that he had been missing for five years. Guilt plagued him, fear of being stuck back in there, he was in a constant state of terror because it was so damn easy for him to be lost the first time.

Nightmares woke him up every night. Sometimes he would lay there staring at the ceiling for hours without you knowing, other times his screams would echo in your room and wake you. Tears streaming down his face, clinging to you like his lifeline. Horrible dreams filled his mind of being pulled back there - or seeing his friends taken instead.

Those moments were the only time that it seemed Wally was willing to open up to you. It was the only time that he treated you like a lover rather than a stranger. Only when he was most vulnerable did it feel like he was truly back home, safe and sound with you. Whatever was holding him back from being open to you, it broke your heart.

Wally was always the one that you could go to when you had your issues and now that you couldn't do the same for him... it was hard to accept. You didn't want to push him into relieving his memories where he was stuck or asking the wrong questions to get him upset. Saying nothing at all didn't seem to be working either.

Dick noticed it, Barry, Artemis, even Garfield was worried. No one knew what was going on inside that head of his and he refused to go to Dinah - or anyone - for help. Everyone was worried.

You told them of the times that you woke up to him vibrating the entire bed, still asleep and a pained look on his face. Or the time that he would be perfectly fine before suddenly speeding around the house like he had no control over his body. Wally had become unstable with his speed - and maybe his health too.

"Love you, baby," Wally mumbled out.

He had gotten back from his hangout with Dick to find you sprawled out on the couch. Whatever they had done must have put him in a good mood. The moment that he saw you, he sped over and practically dived into you. His arms kept him hovering over you so he could lean down and kiss you properly - something that he always seemed to avoid since being back.

He found himself cuddled into your chest, arms snaked around you. For the first time since his return, you saw a genuine smile on his face. It was a sleepy, half-smile, but nonetheless, you were excited to see it. His eyes drooped closed the second you started massaging his scalp. He hummed with content as you eased the tension that had been piling up.

Half asleep, shoulders loose after weeks of being tensed at every moment. His heavy breathing was audible and you could feel the warmth of it against your skin. It had been years since you had seen him relaxed like this and it quickly brought tears to your eyes. Wally had been through so much, he deserved happiness, he deserved to have peace in his life.

"I love you Wally, always," you whispered. Silent tears spilled down your eyes - you wanted him to find his joy again, no matter the cost. "I never gave up on you, my love. I knew you'd find your way back home. Fuck-" your voice cracked, "I was so lost without you. Having you back in my arms like this was the only thing keeping me going.

"You mean everything to me, Wally. I know that you did what you did to save the world but..." you sighed. It was impossible to say that you wished that he hadn't done it - or that someone else should have taken his place. "I'm so relieved that you're safe now. I know you've been going through a hard time, and I've been trying my best not to push you - but if you need anything you know I'm here."

You waited for him to say something - anything. Wally was struggling to open up to you but seeing him in a good mood like this may have been the best opportunity to get him to say what was on his mind. Unfortunately, his silence made you worried.

It wasn't until the sounds of a soft snore did you realize that he had fallen asleep on you. His body had become completely dead weight, arms no longer tense around you. The security he felt being with you had lulled him to deep sleep in a matter of minutes. Although you weren't in a comfortable position, seeing him at peace was well worth it.

><

"He's getting better."

It had been months since Wally had been home. The process of getting him back to his mental state before entering the Speed Force for years was going to take a long time - but he was well on his way. Being with friends, family - finally admitting that he needed to see someone to talk through all this - dramatically helped.

The original team decided to put together a little surprise birthday for Wally. He said he didn't want anything - but they had several year's worth of get-togethers to make up for. So, you and Dick plotted together to throw something, just with his closest friends. Nothing overwhelming.

Although he originally complained about the gesture, he quickly found himself appreciating the effort that had been put into that evening. The food, the people, he forgot how much these moments meant to him. Seeing the smiles on everyone's faces again, that was the best gift he could have asked for.

He stood on the other side of the room with Conner and Dick - all three of the men were laughing their heads off about something. Artemis stood by your side, watching the three of them just as you were. She handed over one of the drinks in her hand to you. Everyone in the room had been deep in conversation with someone - besides you. She noticed.

"He is," you agreed with her.

"Why're you by yourself?" She got straight to the point. Artemis didn't bother with the small talk or sugarcoating her question. She waited for your answer, watching as your gaze turned from Wally, to the now interesting cement beneath your feet. "(Y/N)."

"Everyone's helped Wally so much and I can't help but feel like... Like I haven't done enough. Wally was always the person that I could lean on and now that I'm the one that has to be strong for him, it just feels like there's more that I could have done to help him. I never had the same bond that you all had with him being on the team and risking your lives, I don't know what it's like enough to help him through this trauma.

"Wally deserves the world and a lot of the time I feel like I can't give it to him. I'm not a hero, I don't have powers, I'm just... normal. Maybe that's not enough for someone who can save the world before I even finish breakfast," Your fists tightened at your sides as the heavy realization that had been clouding your mind was revealed.

It was clear that you were the odd man out in the room. Everyone there had risked their lives to saved the world and what had you done? Wait anxiously at home for your friends to return? Grieve at the losses that you couldn't have changed? There was nothing that you could do in the hero-life besides sitting on the sidelines.

"You do a lot more than you make yourself believe, (Y/N)," Artemis placed her hand on your shoulder. She glanced over at your boyfriend, wondering how different it would have been if they ended up together instead. Wally would have been unhappy, he loved you from the beginning.

"Wally can't stop talking about the support you give him. He wouldn't be where he is today without you. Men are stubborn - especially speedster men - they won't always admit how much they need someone. He gets this look on his face when he's talking about you like you're the whole reason for his existence. Don't put yourself down for not being stuck in a hero life we are - your love for him is the only power he needs."

"Thank you, Artemis," you forced a smile at her.  Although you didn't believe her words at the moment she was right. Your love for Wally was the most important thing that you could ever give him, and that was going to have to be enough for now. Every ounce of your love went to making him happy.

Before she could say anything else, a familiar breeze washed over you both. Wally was suddenly standing right in front of you - and as if Artemis wasn't even there, brought you in for a deep kiss. His lips molded to yours, hand pressed to the small of your back to keep you close.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Wally barely pulled his lips from you. Conner had heard everything that you were saying to Artemis, and although he felt as if it wasn't his place to tell, Wally needed to know. A need to be with you, to assure you that you had done more than enough to get him to where he was, filled him.

"Across every galaxy, every universe, the Speed Force, no matter where I will always find my way back to you. I'll love you through everything," Wally pecked you once more. "Thank you for never giving up on me, babe."

"I'll never give up on you, Wally West. Not even the Speed Force can keep us apart," you grinned.

"Get a room already," Artemis complained. You had forgotten that she was still standing with you. It wasn't just her - the entire room was staring at the both of you. Smiles on their face at how happy Wally was with you. His little move had caught the attention of everyone and he just adored it.

Wally laughed at her comment. He swooped you up in his arms and sent a wink your way. He was already gearing up to speed you both out of there before saying his last bit to Artemis - and everyone else in the room.

"Don't have to tell me twice."

[xginata]

Heartbeats & Vibrations

Prompt: Gamer!Kiri, he was in a COD game with the rest of the bakusquad and you’d just gotten home from a very shitty day at work.

Warnings: M. HEAVY overstimulation/edging; toy play, sensation play, light bondage.

[!] Written to: Rehab by Brent Faiyaz, West Side by Ariana Grande, Bad Girl by A Boogie, Nasty by Ariana Grande

Notes: I really couldn’t picture this with anyone else but Kirishima aka pebble boy. I hope y’all enjoy!

ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

You sat in your car, quickly gathering your thoughts and feelings in. You knew Kiri was in game right now, his stream was playing quietly in your car. He was just up and coming and you made sure to support him as much as you could. The last thing you wanted to do was accidentally cause a scene in front of his viewers, especially since he always asked for you to watch him stream and you loved doing that with him when you could.

Once you tried your hardest to appear like your regular self, you made your way up to your apartment and quietly walked in. You could hear Kiri start calling out your name from his streaming room, “Everyone! I think my beautiful, amazing girlfriend is home.” You heard him say, making your heart swell.

Your feet felt heavy as you walked into yours and Kiri’s bedroom first to change into something more comfortable. You still felt on the verge of tear and you tried your hardest to keep them in. It was just one of those days, even though you cried your whole way home it didn’t make you feel any better.

You let a couple tears fall, unable to keep them in and once again waited until you were able to put on at least a neutral expression before entering his streaming room.

Kiri had your spot set up, you’d have another gaming chair next to him, with your little set up. Kiri had made sure to stuff the basket next to your chair with a bunch of snacks. You absolutely loved this, even though he was streaming he’d still want you around him, and you were perfectly fine just sitting and watching, replying to chat for him or even playing animal crossing next to him as he played COD. It was your way to unwind as well, but today was different. It was difficult for you to let Kiri know that you needed him sometimes, and tonight was the same. You promised you’d bite your tongue for now, and not bother him during stream.

However, your emotions were easy to read, and even his chat noticed.

“Kiri, is y/n, okay??” One comment read.

“She looks upset.” Comments like this start flooding in and you started to panic. You didn’t want to ruin his stream.

“Wow, why is she bringing such bad energy in here. I don’t want to look at her sad face.” One comment chimed in, making your eyes well up.

Kiri’s whole mood changed, his character wasn’t moving anymore, instead he was reading through the comments, and then looked at you. That sent you over the edge, your tears escaped and you bolted out of your chair and into your bedroom.

“I don’t appreciate comments like yours, everyone who is being rude to y/n right now, please get the fuck off of my future streams. Honestly, it sounds shitty to say but I don’t care for “fans” like you. To all of you who are genuinely concerned for y/n, thank you. I’m getting off stream to take care of my babygirl.” He said sternly and ended his stream.

“I have to go.” He said in his in-game voice chat.

“Go! I’m gonna chew these fucking bastards out right now for saying that shit about y/n.” Bakugo said and the rest of the Bakusquad followed to defend you.

You were curled up, in a ball unaware of what was being said. You gripped tightly to Kiri’s pillow, you were so ashamed and embarrassed for ruining his stream. Your cheeks were flushed, your nose was stuffy and the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

There was a soft knock on your bedroom door, “Pebble? I’m coming in, okay?” he said as he opened the door. You hummed in response.

Your eyes were closed but you could feel him staring at you. When you were able to open your already puffy eyes, he was at eye level. He was kneeled in front of you, next to the bed.

“What happened pebble?” He asked and all you could do was avoid eye contact with him. 

“You can tell me if your comfortable, if you don’t want to that’s okay too. Can I cuddle you?” He was treating you softly, he knew how sensitive you we’re probably feeling right now and how embarrassed you were probably feeling but not for the same reasons you thought.

While you were beating yourself up for ruining his stream, he was beating himself up for not having noticed you were feeling upset. He felt like a terrible partner, he felt like you were upset with him. And he knew you probably didn’t like your emotions being put on full blast in front of his stream, and for that he felt guilty. Had he not asked you to join his stream that night, you probably wouldn’t have shown such private feelings to over 500k viewer, but if you hadn’t gone in, he probably wouldn’t have noticed that you were upset. Either way, Kirishima felt like he failed you. 

He climb into bed with you and positioned himself to be the big spoon, his body engulfed yours and for once that night you felt better. You had plenty of time to sit with your thoughts and finally decided you were ready to talk, however, before you could let out a word Kirishima started, “I’m so sorry pebble. I feel like I’ve let you down, and I’m so sorry. I should’ve noticed you were feeling upset. I should’ve known how you felt.” His voice cracked.

“But you couldn’t have known, you’re not a mind reader Kiri and I know that. I should’ve told you how I felt but I didn’t want you to cut your stream short because of me, and now, I embarrassed you in front of your fans.” You said.

“You come first, you didn’t embarrass me. I think I embarrassed you actually. And I'm still so sorry. Will you tell me what happened?”

“I mixed up some documents that were for a very important shareholders meeting and I got chewed out for it. Then the rest of the work day I just kept fucking up. When I was driving home I cried it out so I didn’t feel too upset getting home but it didn’t work.” You said feeling guilty for ruining his night.

“You don’t have to do that, you can always come to me and the streams and the fans or whatever can wait. You’re more important to me. Before we keep going back and forth saying sorry, because we both know that will happen, just believe me when I say you don’t have to worry about closing off your emotions with me.” Kirishima finished off, leaving a kiss on your forehead.

“You’ve been so supportive of me since I became a full-time streamer and I’ve taken advantage of that. From now, I’ll make sure to have finished streaming before you come to work. Let me take your mind off of things and make the rest of the night better.” He said, his choice of words sending a tingle down your spine.

“Get undressed.” He instructed and you did as you were told. He had taken off his shirt off, leaving him in only his grey sweat, that seem to hang off his hips just perfectly showing the band of his boxers. Just the view of his toned abs and his v-line was enough to have you drooling.

He grabbed your blindfold from your nightstand, the one you’d occasionally use when you went to sleep. He motioned for you to sit up, “I’m gonna take care of you tonight.” He slid the blindfold on and let you adjust it comfortably.

“Don’t take it off.” You jumped slightly when you heard his command against your ear.

He sauntered out of your bedroom and into his game area, he grabbed his disconnected headset and made his way back to the bedroom. Still ignoring your blushing, naked body he walked to the dresser in the corner of the room, reached down to the bottom drawer and pulled out what he would need for tonight. He grabbed the cotton rope and cuff set, along with two other toys. He looked back at your ready body, letting his tongue dip out and licked his lips in anticipation. 

His touch surprised you, making you whine involuntarily. You felt soft fur cuffs positioned and tightened comfortably on your ankles, he gently flexed your right leg and wrapped the cotton rope around the middle for your thigh, then did the same for the right leg. Your cunt was on full display, only for him, you were already wet just from getting bound. 

Once you were tied up, he positioned himself to sit directly behind you. He adjusted your body against his so his legs were on either side of yours, slightly bent and your head resting comfortably on his chest. 

”I’m gonna put on the headset. If you want it off, use the safe word.” Kiri said. 

“Yes.” You replied. 

He put his headset on you, muffling all the background noises. All you could hear was the beating of your heart, you could feel the pounding of his behind your head.

Your back arched slightly, and your mouth opened as you inhaled sharply at the sensation of his finger dancing down your stomach. He stopped just above your folds, playfully tracing small circles around your core.

You were already writhing, trying to get his finger to brush even your lips, but to your dismay he took his hand away completely. Once again you were panting in anticipation, what would he do next? Where would he start touching you? Would he run his fingers down your arms, then up again and down your nipples? Would he instantly give you the touch you so desperately craved?

!

You could hear your own heartbeat again, your breathing leveled and your body calmed down. Once Kirishima noticed your senses come back down to your own bodily awareness he reached his hand down over your core, you swear you could feel the emanating heat from his hand on your wet cunt.

You bit down on your lip, your hips involuntarily bucking upwards. Kirishima wouldn’t give you the satisfaction, quickly jerking his hand back. You were desperate at this point, you wanted release.

“Please.” You moaned quietly. Kirishima smirked.

He’d finally had enough teasing you... for now. He snaked his hand down your stomach once more, gaining the same reaction as the first time. You readied yourself for when he’d ultimately decline your pleads, but when he didn’t stop you let out a small cry.

His hand covered your wet cunt, his hand laid there for a second until he felt you buck your hips up once more. He moved his hand up, flat against your cunt, his middle finger parting your wet folds.

“Fuck.” Kiri whispered to himself, small whines escaping your lips.

His other hand joined in parting your folds, his right middle finger connected to your sensitive clit. He rolled his finger in small, slow circles as his left middle finger teased your entrance. That alone could make you come.

You longed to hear his breath and his dirty words that you knew he was holding in.

“Sapphire.” You said loud enough for him to hear you. You prepared yourself for his hands to leave your core. His hands stopped working you and he took off the headset.

“Okay, pebble?” He asked.

“I wanted...to hear you.” You whimpered as he left a kiss to your temple.

“You want to hear me tell you how good you’re doing? Hmm?” His hands resumed to pleasure you. You hummed in response.

His finger teasingly entered your core, you groaned in frustration at his teasing. He chuckled lightly at your reaction, finally giving you the satisfaction as his finger entered your core. You arched your back at the sensation as his finger motioned a “come here,” movement in your aching core.

“You have to tell me when you’re almost there, okay pebble? Don’t keep it from me or else, I’ll have to punish you for lying.” He whispered against your ear.

He slowly inserted his pointer finger, joining into the small movement. Your breathing became erratic, your hips moving slowly against the rhythm of his fingers, supplying more friction.

“Tell me baby, are you gonna come?” he asked once again.

You protested, shaking your head. You knew what he would do if you said yes and you weren’t ready for his fingers to stop their sweet movements.

“Are you lying to me?” He growled into your ear and you shook your head again.

“Bad pebble.” Your climax was cut short, both of his hands escaped your heat.

“Suck.” His wet fingers were pushed onto your tongue, surprising you. You sucked and lapped around his fingers.

His free hand reached to the first toy. He took out his fingers and replaced it with the toy, the cold, velvet silicone making you flinch slightly but you welcomed it. Kiri pulled it out slowly, earning a small “pop.”

He pressed it down slowly onto your entrance, keeping an arm pressed against your stomach to keep you from bucking your hips. He would drag out your first climax as long as he could.

The tip of the lilac butterfly vibrator disappeared into your entrance, butterfly design was flush against your heat. Your clit was pinched between the small antennae designed for clitoral stimulation.

He let you sit with the vibrator in, not yet turning it on. Finally, when your breathing leveled, he clicked it on with the small remote.

One hand kept the vibrator secure to your core, as the other cupped your jaw.

“You like that?”

“You like that vibrator in you?“

“Yeah, you deserve it baby.” He spoke in between breaths, his breathing mimicked yours. Not one word left your lips, only moans and cries out for him.

“Don’t come yet, baby.” He struggled to keep you down, your hips jerking forcefully.

“I have to.” You cried out, instantly regretting it when the hand that was securing the vibrator, moved the vibrator out.

Your cunt was visibly throbbing, involuntary hip jerks following

“I love that heartbeat.” He whispered, leaving a kiss to your temple.

He grabbed one of your hand and guided your fingers to reach down your wet cunt, gathering moisture on them and bringing them to his lips this time.

“You taste so good.” He hummed. Your hand wrapped back around his bicep as it has been. You were sure his biceps were probably red and sore from you clawing and squeezing around them.

Kiri grabbed the next toy, positioned it onto your clit and clicked it on, shocking you once more, making your moan out loudly.

“You come when I tell you to come.” He demanded.

He positioned to fingers to your entrance, just barely entering your core. His fingers felt as they were being sucked into your folds.

The heavy vibration and the sensation of his fingers rubbing up on your cunt were too much, you could felt the familiar coil in your stomach. Your climax was nearing and you needed it this time.

“Please, let me come.” You begged.

“You can come, but you have to look at me when you do.” Your hand immediately reached up to your blind fold, peeling it off and sending it flying across the room.

You tilted your head and met his eyes. His cheeks and lips were flushed, his red hair stuck to parts of his sweat covered forehead. His chest tightened behind you, as did his biceps.

“Come for me.”

“Come on these fingers, baby.” Kiri kept his eyes on yours. Your stomach tightened once more, your back arched and your hips moved against his fingers, that were flushed against your core, making the same motion as before. You tried your best to keep your eyes on him as you rode out your orgasm, but you failed as they rolled back.

The vibration stopped, his finger gently pulled out of your cunt and the rhythm of your hips slowly stopped. Your stomach felt hot, your breathing slowed. Your eyes fluttering open, Kiri was still staring at you.

“You look so beautiful when you come.” He kissed your temple.

After you both calmed your breathing, he undid your ties and cleaned you up. You fell asleep that night wrapped in his arms.

[theseerasures]

For the meta thing, how about big sisters with absent mothers: Winter and Yang? Like, how they dealt with things differently and what a friendship between them would look like

anon i just want you to know that as soon as received this ask i barged into my girlfriend’s room to be like “is this you???” because this ask is so EXQUISITELY tailored to my personal interests that i was like “literally who else would cater to me like this” and it was not her, apparently!!! so thank you very much for this ask.

of course i have SO MANY thoughts about this topic that it took me a complete month to marshal them into something faintly coherent, if staggeringly long, so. i hope it’s worth the wait.

S(chnee)-side: how to lose brothers and alienate sisters

let’s start from some well-trodden ground: the season 5 character shorts, and their subsequent caricaturization via Chibi, which posit the Yang vs. Winter dichotomy as something like “Yang loves Ruby by diving into a monster’s mouth for her, and telling her she always has her back, and Winter does the same for Weiss by...siccing monsters on her, and telling her that she won’t always be around to save her from them.” much hay has already been made about the reasons why the two of them would act in the ways they did, so for the purposes of my own meta i’m going to skip over those, and concentrate on how content since season 5 has updated these conceptions.

and on Winter’s end of things, these conceptions have been updated by showing that she’s, uh.

...full of shit.

we’ve now had TWO instances of Winter going above and beyond to protect someone vulnerable. the first time was for Penny, with whom she has a sisterly bond, and the second time was for Ren, with whom she has...exchanged a few lines of dialogue. if she’s so ready and willing to hurl herself bodily into the path of an aggressor for someone who is basically a stranger, then why all the pageantry with Weiss about how she can’t (or won’t) save her? did she carve some kind of blood relative exemption into her saving people thing? does it only apply to people who wear a lot of green?¹

to properly address this question--and to bring in the Willow of it all--i think we should step back and ask: how does Winter actually feel about the Schnee name?

not Jacques’ name, mind. nor anything he did to besmirch it. Willow’s name, and Winter’s birthright.

because what has always been interesting to me is that while Weiss has talked about reclaiming or rehabilitating the Schnee name from their father’s meddling and still clearly wants to reconcile herself with it, even after being disinherited, Winter has only ever talked about distancing. it’s entirely possible that she had similar aspirations when she was around Weiss’ age and was just more thoroughly disabused of them, but my point stands: Winter shows a discomfort with the Schnee name overall in a way that Weiss has yet to. you don’t have to look any further than Winter’s combat style to see how this discomfort is telegraphed, as she barely uses any Dust, or Glyphs, and the one aspect of her Semblance that she does use and tout are Summons, which just so happens to be the part that emphasizes her own individual ability to conquer foes. something about the Schnee name feels irreconcilably tainted for Winter,² and while i’m sure a large part of it has to do with her father, who can make her explode into emotion confetti by just being in the same room as her for thirty seconds, a not-insignificant part can probably be chalked up to the fact that...

Willow Schnee was probably never all that good a mother.

granted: we’ve have exactly one scene (two if you count the 8.2 sneak peek) with her, so i’m fully ready to be called Boo Boo the Fool if we get a flashback and Willow was some kind of crusading super-mom prior to her descent into alcoholism, but. the idea that she hasn’t ALWAYS had to compromise herself and her children just to get by feels facile. this is not to victim blame, but to say that Willow is an imperfect person (in that she is. a person) placed into a horrific situation, which means that she could not always deal with the situation perfectly. it’s important to remember her agency--both before and after she became an alcoholic--but it’s just as important not to idealize it into something it’s not. Willow was by no means a co-abuser to her children, but she was probably always inconsistent, because living with your abuser for years on end does that to you. personally, i’ve always envisioned pre-alcoholism Willow as...well-meaning and much more perceptive and intelligent than people give her credit for, but beset with her own flaws that grew in proportion to her hurt and bitterness. she was capable of shielding her children from her husband’s worst excesses, and often did; but she was just as capable of retreating when she might have fought, of excusing Jacques’ actions to try to keep the peace, even of lashing out at those who shouldn’t have to handle her negative emotions.

her descent into alcoholism exacerbated these tendencies, but Willow has always been a complicated woman, and the idea that there was a prelapsarian time when Willow was an unmitigated good, before...idk, her Good battery ran out and she became Drunk Victim Non-Mom, is...well, it’s definitely something that a ten-year-old who had an ENORMOUSLY traumatic birthday would believe (and blame herself for), but Winter might disagree. i don’t think her view would be any more objective, if only because the day Winter Schnee has an un-myopic thought is the day i pass gracefully into the West, but her view is probably more complicated and less flattering, because Winter knew her mother more as a person, and that’s something we’re gonna talk about more with Yang and Ruby, later.

the point i want to make now, with Winter, is that her determined inconstancy, where she’ll readily jump into the jaws of a monster for her siblings in one breath and berate them and caution them against needing her in the next--that comes from her experience with Willow. the lesson she wants her siblings to learn is not just “the people who are supposed to love you are cruel, so get a helmet,” but “the people who are supposed to love you disappoint you, which is worse, so it’s better to not rely on them at all.”³ better for them to learn it from her than firsthand, but also--better for herself, because when she does disappoint them (and she did. she left.) at least she can take comfort in the fact that surely it doesn’t hurt as much; she warned them, after all.

in Winter’s mind, this kind of disappointment is an inevitability, so what’s paramount is to make sure that when it does happen her siblings are at least prepared for it. in the face of that the fact that she would actually risk life and limb to help them if they ever need it falls to the wayside; i don’t think it was a mindful decision that Winter consciously made--like, i don’t think she ever thought “i’m going to withhold the fact that i would die for them because that would contradict the whole social Darwinism thing i’m trying to drill into their heads,” because Winter’s just...not that kind of deliberate rational actor, in any arena. rather--and maybe even more damning--i think she just assumes that Weiss and Whitley already KNOW, that it’s a given for them the sacrifices she’d make for them in the same way it’s a given for her. but they don’t! because you have to say these things, and Winter has been force-feeding them the precise opposite.

ultimately all of these contradictory impulses stem from Winter’s deep-seated need for control--both of herself, and of the environments around her, and those in turn come from the fact that she was a) repeatedly wounded as a child and b) had to shoulder responsibilities far beyond her own ability as that same child, which...continues to this day. from this perspective, what matters is less keeping her siblings safe, and more her own ability to save them. she knows that’s imperfect, so she compensates by enforcing what worked for her onto them, and also by keeping them away from anything that could harm them, without their input. i never thought much of the contrast in environments for the character shorts--like of course Weiss would spar with Winter’s Summons at home like the untested shut-in she was--but what did take me aback was that in season 7, after Weiss has waltzed across an entire continent and been promoted to a full Huntress, Winter...still exclusively trains Weiss with her Summons up in Atlas, while Ruby and Yang are traipsing across Mantle killing ACTUAL Grimm. i have no doubt that this was for foreshadowing reasons, but still: it points to the fact that for all Winter loves Weiss and would fight giant monsters for her, there’s a part of her that...doesn’t trust Weiss, and wants to maintain control over her.⁴

this, i think, is part of the reason why Whitley treats her basically like an un-person: it’s not just that she left when he was too young and Jacques filled in all the gaps with lies and slander, it’s also that even when Winter was around the bigger age gap made it much easier for her to reconcile keeping him out of the loop, for his own good. she can’t ever be vulnerable around either of her siblings, but especially not Whitley, because he’s too young; he might let something slip when they’re around Jacques, and she shouldn’t be putting that kind of burden on him anyway. if he resents her when she’s just trying to protect him--except you said that you wouldn’t, Winter you absolute moron--then that’s his prerogative. it doesn’t change her own responsibilities. they can be miserable and Byronic in their own separate cubby holes and it’s fine.

(it’s not fine.)

R(ose)⁵-side: tonight, the role of Replacement Goldfish will be played by...everyone

let’s get one thing out of the way: Yang is a GOOD big sister, and some of the ways that she is good can be chalked up to the fact that she had a better home life, but only some. her character short ends with her promising Ruby that she’ll always have her back after spending the short proving it, and she has--until recently, and we’ll get to that--lived up to it. people get caught up on how much time Yang spends with Blake nowadays, but it’s important to remember that the entire impetus for Yang reuniting with anyone during the Mistral arc was about Ruby. so is the thing that separates a Yang from a Winter is that a Yang preaches what she practices, and isn’t firing a million zillion mixed signals at all times?

well--yeah, basically, but we’re gonna make a big thing out of it anyway.

what made Yang and Ruby different from the Schnees--even before the character shorts--was a sense of parity. in contrast to Winter insisting on maintaining a) the most unapproachable facade in the world, and b) a death-grip on every situation at all times, Yang was characterized from the outset as...chill (ironically). despite her Semblance being LITERALLY hotheadedness, Yang’s passionate energy never manifested in any real desire to take charge. the fact that she was fine (even happy!) with Ruby being bumped up to her year and then becoming leader speaks volumes to how much Yang trusts and respects Ruby’s judgement. rather than try to mask her flaws, she exudes this kind of...radiant fallibility and lets Ruby take care of her, or keep her in line. they complement each other: Yang takes care of more grounded concerns like individual fights and making friends, while Ruby--again, until recently--set more abstract goals and gave them moral direction.

a lot of this can be attributed to the smaller age gap, but i think it also comes from growing up as two motherless free-range children on an island--and the motherlessness is obviously a huge deal for both of them. when i started writing this i honestly thought i’d talk more about Raven, since she’s the mom who’s actually a character already, and her absence plays a huge role in how Yang deals with her abandonment issues in the present, but to be honest: the loss that cut the deepest for Ruby AND Yang is Summer, because Summer was actually around enough to be lost. despite the show frequently dividing custody of Team STRQ right down the middle between Ruby and Yang, where Ruby “gets” Summer and Qrow and Yang “gets” Tai and Raven, it’s the admixture of Rose and Branwen that makes the two of them who they are.⁶ Yang spent more time with Summer, but Ruby spends more time with Qrow, who is Yang’s blood uncle, so the dichotomy between nature and nurture is fascinatingly blurred.

i know this is an unpopular opinion, but i hope Summer really is dead, because the ways that her daughters interpellate their own identities from her absence drives so much of the story. that SUMMER was the first mother Yang lost--not Raven, because Yang didn’t even know about Raven until Summer died--is what shapes her relationship with Ruby, but also her relationship with Raven. what’s always simmering just below the surface of any Yang-Raven confrontation is that the person Yang actually wanted to find the whole time she was looking for Raven was Summer, because she wanted a mom, and a mom looked like Summer. Raven’s not stupid--it might be her one redeeming quality--so it’s likely that she’s always known and resented this. it’s not an accident that the moment Yang stopped looking for Raven for Raven and started looking for her for an easy conduit to her real family was the moment she actually found Raven.⁷ it was the first step to Yang outgrowing her old habits, of waiting for a mother to return--a classic “she needed a hero so that’s what she hurdy blah”

in a way that’s what she’s been doing this whole time. in contrast to Winter, who compensated for her mother’s flaws by ratifying them into universal law, Yang did the same by defying their supposed truth: people might leave her, but she won’t leave Ruby, and Ruby won’t leave her. it’s telling that whenever Yang leaves--even as a literal child--she always took Ruby with her, even if she planned on coming back. (it’s just as telling that when Winter left she didn’t.) she’ll always be there for Ruby, to give her the boost she needs to become the Summer they all want her to be, which means being a little of Summer herself--the part of Summer that baked cookies and slew monsters. and in return Ruby gave her...a sense of certainty, i think: that Ruby needs her and therefore won’t leave, but also that Ruby has the parts of Summer that Yang can’t muster herself--the grand heroic ideal, the moral certitude, etc.

...and now we’re finally gonna talk about the Schism, which i honestly think is the best thing that has happened to their relationship, development-wise. by the end of the Mistral arc Yang has arrived at a healthier perspective with respect to her relationships with everyone: now it’s not about indiscriminately giving herself away to people in the hopes that they might not leave her, but about choosing to give herself away to the people she loves and trusts. on one level this should not conflict with her relationship with Ruby at all, because Yang loves Ruby, but on another...the fact that Yang no longer feels obligated to perform unending support, to be the grounded complement, to fill in the parts of Summer that Ruby can’t--of COURSE that’s going to bring about conflict. because it turns out Yang never needed Ruby to give her direction or discipline. she’s now had time to think of the things she herself values, and those...don’t exactly match up with Ruby’s--or Summer’s.⁸ Yang, having known Summer as a mother, having been confronted repeatedly with the fallibility of mothers, is starting to outgrow Summer, and grow separately from Ruby.

but growing separately doesn’t have to mean growing apart, and i think Yang, at least, knows this. she clearly feels Some Kinda Way about their disagreement (and Blake’s implicit alignment with Ruby), but she’s also confident enough in her own beliefs by this point to commit to them. Yang’s taking charge instead of deferring to Ruby, and it turns out that...she’s actually not a bad leader herself, since she and Jaune have pretty much split a lot of those responsibilities. for her it’s not a question of losing faith or love in Ruby as a person, but about discovering what she herself fights for.

Ruby...sees it differently, because Ruby sees Summer differently. if Yang has always defined herself against Summer by deciding that she can NEVER fully be Summer, so she’ll make do with what she can, then Ruby’s always defined herself against Summer by marking Summer as the endpoint of her personal trajectory. what Ruby knows of Summer--that she was a person who enjoyed life and did not believe in original sin, that had a magical special destiny that was totally fine and awesome and didn’t drive her to her death, that she was a baker of cookies and slayer of monsters--is what Tai and Qrow--and Yang--told her about Summer, because Ruby was too young to remember the real Summer. so Summer for her is this abstract paragon to live up to, and no more. she can’t possibly exceed Summer, because the Summer Ruby knows encompasses literally all that is good.

when Yang tells Ruby “i’ve always got your back” in the short, a lot of it is about Yang, and the ways Yang needed to be there for other people so they’ll be there for her in return. but it’s also something Ruby really needed to hear, because Ruby needed the security and comfort of knowing that even if she screws up there are people around her who can help shoulder the burden. that security already took a serious hit after Yang lost her arm, but Ruby, kind and generous person that she is, was able to reconcile with that, because YANG HAD JUST LOST HER ARM. it would be ridiculous to expect Yang to have her back the way she used to, and besides--it was time she grew up, and growing up means becoming more like Summer, all of Summer, by herself.

and...she gets pretty far, is the thing, because Ruby IS a lot like Summer, and is incredible and amazing all by herself to boot, but the point is that no one should feel this much pressure to be All That Is Good, especially when you’re a teen. Ruby’s not ready to recognize that, partly because at this point so many people are looking to her for leadership, but also because being Summer’s heir is the only real link she has to her mom.⁹ so she hunkers down and does the best she can, in a situation that has far spiraled beyond anybody’s control...and then Yang tells her that it’s not working out, that this time it’s not that she can’t have Ruby’s back, but that she won’t. in Ruby’s mind, this could only mean one of two things: either Yang no longer believes what Ruby believes--what Summer believed, or...Yang no longer believes in Ruby, because she wasn’t good enough.

and well. it’s Ruby. it’s not hard to guess which reason she’s picking right now, especially since she pretty conspicuously refused to call the shots during the Amity heist.

but this is of course a false dichotomy. it’s not about which one of them is right, or even more right, and the show does a very good job with the framing to show that both of them have a point. similarly, what Ruby needs right now is neither confirmation that her long-held beliefs are objectively the best ones, nor that she is good enough to become Summer after all. no; what she needs instead is the knowledge that she’s allowed to fuck up, to deviate from what people have told her about Summer, to become what Summer never was. that’s something Yang can--and will--help her work out.

oh no this analogy is breaking apart: how they’d get along

...oi.

look, even beyond the fact that Winter doesn’t get along with ANYONE over much, i don’t think there’s any universe where she wouldn’t immediately rub Yang the wrong way. not only because Winter’d initially treat Ruby with the same cold tyranny that she (up until very recently) treats Weiss, but also because Yang’s partner is Blake, and--to say nothing of Atlas/Schnee-on-Faunus oppression--she was personally made collateral during the fallout with Blake’s abuser.¹⁰ i myself wouldn’t say that Winter abused Weiss, but to Yang’s protective and skewed view...

well, can you imagine Weiss trying to explain the way Winter ~~~trained her to the Bees? “oh, she sent a pack of Beowolves to hunt me! it was a meant-to-lose fight and when i started doing well she just moved the goalposts. one of her wolves almost ate me before i begged her to stop but it...probably...wouldn’t have...it was fine! my Aura didn’t dip THAT much. Winter’s the best!!” Yang’s hair would have been on fire after the first sentence, is all i’m saying. this coupled with the fact that Yang would very likely view Winter leaving Weiss and Whitley through the lens of Raven doing the same thing to her, and i think it would take a pretty long time for the two of them to see eye to eye on anything.

which is not to say that they have nowhere to go but antagonism, because at their cores Winter and Yang both have a) no hesitation whatsoever when it comes to protecting the people they care about and b) a tendency to define protection literally, often bodily. the difference is that Yang’s Semblance weaponizes these protective instincts for her, and she learned the limits of taking that too far. Winter...doesn’t, and hasn’t.¹¹ that COULD lead to some interesting conversations, but i don’t think Yang has quite the emotional clarity and generosity to reckon with that yet, and they’re not about to talk about it inside the Giant Whale.

a necessary part of Winter’s development is learning to respect the people around her instead of instantly categorizing them into boxes labeled “to fight” and “to protect and order around.” her friction with Yang could be an intriguing way to explore that; i have no doubt, for example, that Winter would have hurled herself between Elm and Yang just as readily as she had between Elm and Ren. similarly, i think if Winter ever were in the same room with both Raven and Yang she’d last about ten seconds before trying to rip Raven’s hair out with her teeth, because Raven is neglectful and casually demeaning in ways that are instantly recognizable to Winter (in the same way they were to Weiss).¹² the issue is that her doing any of these things for Yang--y’know, the same Yang who IMMEDIATELY gave Blake the cold shoulder when she tried to pull the whole “i’ll protect you” crap--is that she would only find it confusing and frustrating, and likely wouldn’t mince words expressing that.

Yang’s a big sister herself, and therefore knows all the big sister tricks, and Yang has a consistent pattern of not wanting to rely on other people, particularly people she sees as adults. so the best path toward a Winter and Yang friendship is probably not the head-on approach, but obliquely through someone else. that someone else can’t be Weiss, because Yang would be already hypervigilant about the way Winter treats Weiss--but it could be Ruby. even putting aside the fact that she is now one of the most important people in the world for BOTH her sisters, Ruby herself is very easy to love, and Winter loves very easily, despite herself. what they have in common--idealism and a martyr complex--would also engender some cool interactions, and Ruby would let Winter take care of her, if only to make Winter feel better.

i could see that being the impetus for Yang tentatively, grudgingly forming her own friendship with Winter, because there ARE things that Winter can give Yang, even if Yang can’t (or won’t) admit she wants them. it’s nice to try out being the kid sister, once in a while.

still, even if they get that far: i can’t imagine their relationship as anything friendlier than this.

¹ tbh neither would actually surprise me; what Winter does and doesn’t let herself do is only knowable to the Gods Who Have Forsaken This Land, and they’re certainly unknowable to Winter herself.

² maybe she knows that the whole “the Schnees were up-from-bootstraps-good-capitalists until that guy Jacques came along” thing is stupid!! i don’t care that he’s Santa Nicholas Schnee ain’t shit

³ this i think is why the current thing with Ironwood is such a bitter pill to swallow, because...she thought she’d been so careful. not in thinking that she’d chosen a man who couldn’t disappoint her, but in caring so deeply about him and investing so much of herself into him, despite the fact she’s only ever let herself call him “sir,” or “General.”

⁴ though i will say, to give Winter some credit: she actually accepts the fact that her sister is totally her own person now with a lot more aplomb than i’d expected, both in the “you stole an airship” scene and during all of Sparks. i wouldn’t be so generous as to read subtle treason into her disclosure of Ironwood’s Winter Maiden plans, but it does point to Winter’s desire for control being much more easily unlearned than that of her boss.

⁵ geddit? it’s a joke about handed-ness because now they both have the Hand Tremor

⁶ Tai is, as always and on purpose, the stabilizing agent. “appropriately underwhelming,” as Winter might put it, but absolutely essential.

⁷ of course then Raven had the gall to resent THAT too, because she’s the worst, and...see above, about Winter Schnee’s self-unknowing.

⁸ curiously, the values that Yang most espouses now--the importance of knowing what you’re getting into, protecting what is tangible, what is within your ability--are a) hard-won from years of taking care of Ruby and b) ones that she shares with Raven. the only difference is that Yang’s circle of protection extends far beyond Raven’s, which only includes herself.

⁹ weirdly enough the best person to talk to Ruby about this might be Raven, who has a very skewed perception of Summer herself (because Raven’s perception of EVERYONE is generally fucked up), but probably won’t hold back when talking about Summer’s flaws. Ruby won’t want to hear any of it, but i think she needs to.

¹⁰ i do think Blake and Winter would have some interesting conversations, if Blake ever...was generous enough to deal with *gestures at all of Winter.* it’s easier to compare Blake to Willow given the shared nature of their interpersonal abuse, but Winter on the other hand knows what it’s like to be hand-picked and groomed by a charismatic man with a singular vision who ended up wholly compromising that vision for the sake of their personal ego. that the White Fang are a good force perverted while the Atlesian Military is rotten to the core would...make the conversation more lively? it’s probably fine?

¹¹ “i’m Winter Schnee and i have maladaptive coping mechanisms that i am currently clinging to, as a maladaptive coping mechanism”

¹² though there...probably IS a world where Raven and Winter end up getting along after the initial skirmish, and it disturbs Yang and Qrow to no end

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

Love you ♥️

Can you and your followers maybe help me out? I'm writing a story where John is Canadian, what are some Canadian dishes that he'd be easily scandalised over if done wrong? You know, in this joking way like when we butcher some Italian dishes for example and you get an Italian village throwing pitchforks (all jokes fam)

I think poutine is Canadian? What are some do's and don'ts?

Thank you :3

Hey Nonny!

AHHH what a fun question! Ahhhhh, funnily enough, a lot of our cuisine is very American, BUT the one I was going to suggest WAS the poutine hahahah. It’s legit one of my FAVE foods, and my city has a Poutine Fest every summer when we’re not in a pandemic, LOL, and it’s just the best thing ever.

It’s the one that is ALWAYS make or break for me personally! It differs by region and nowadays, because of the ease of “buy everything in a can” for food, but a poutine can be greatly affected by what type of the three main ingredients you use.

A proper “original” Canadian poutine (pron. POO-TEHN) is made with fresh potatoes skin-on, gravy made from beef broth (dark brown, THICK gravy... this REALLY REALLY matters), and cheese curds (NOT shredded or chopped up blocks of cheese). BUT because not everyone’s tummies can tolerate ALL THAT HARD TO DIGEST FAT AND DAIRY, obviously these days, any poutine is good, as long as it’s got good fries, hahah. Poutine Fest has trucks that sell “hamburger” poutine and “mac and cheese” poutines (I’ve had both, and they are delicious), so really, it’s all about what you like. But yeah, IF you can eat cheese, get it with curds.... it’s NOT the same without the curds. I know many Canadians judge a poutine by the curds you have in them. It’s because they melt and get SUPER stretchy, which is why it’s fun!! This website here, actually, has a pretty good rundown of how a good Canadian poutine should be made :)

These days I make my poutines with bagged frozen fries, St. Albert’s Cheese Curds (one of the local cheese farms that sells in-store), and St. Hubert canned Poutine gravy (very subpar, but it’s the best of the canned gravies for poutine), topped with bacon bits, green onions, and a dash of salt. TOTALLY not an every day snack, but it’s nice to treat myself once in awhile. Really though, there isn’t a RIGHT and WRONG way to make poutines, but I CAN say that Americans make very.... subpar poutines. Except New York Fries. Theirs is really good.

Ah, hmm, what else? Timbits (doughnut holes) are the perfect snack. Popular “group” snack, since you can order them in Party Packs. 

Maple syrup, very important! The best syrup comes from sugar farms, costs a lot, but SO worth it. There’s a BIG difference between pure maple syrup and whatever fructose crap sold in bottles on the store shelf. Canadians have “maple season” from February to April where you go to a sugar shack (cabane à sucre), pour hot maple syrup onto the snow to make maple taffy / candy and eat it. Best thing ever. Every Canadian kid who grew up in Northern Ontario of my generation has gone to at least ONE during a school trip.

And another one I am REALLY fond of and miss, are Persian Buns. It’s COMPLETELY a local thing in Thunder Bay where I grew up, and when I was a kid, you made sure you had money to buy a Persian on Persian Day at school lest you look like a LOSER. It’s literally a cinnamon sweet roll with strawberry sugar icing on it. They were the best, and I miss them so much.

AHHH sorry, I got super nostalgic there. That last one is completely not an all-Canadian thing, but it’s very VERY localized.

OH!! BEAVERTAILS. Americans call them Bear Claws / Paws, we call them BeaverTails, they taste better, and they’re shaped like a beaver tail, LOL. Staple of Canadian ice skating winters on the Rideau Canal. We actually have stands here where I live all year round, but yeah, people go NUTS for them. It’s literally a pastry with cinnamon sugar, sometimes with additional toppings (see the link above) and they’re HUGE, like the length of your forearm and about an inch thick.

OH!! A Tourtière (pron. TOUR-TEE-AIR, but faster and roll the ‘R’ because French people talk fast and all our R’s are rolled LOL), which is a meat pie made with beef and pork. Some Québecois will not be happy if you make them wrong, LOL. Traditional French dish my family has on Christmas Eve. 

OH. NANAIMO BARS. One wrong mess up in a recipe will ruin them. Trust me, I did this once, EEEEEE.

Montréal Style Bagels. The best bagels you will ever get, tastes like heaven, that’s why they’re shaped like halos.

OH! And Canadians are VERY VERY proud of our craft domestic LOCAL beers. Wherever John lives in your story, look up the local brewery, because that shit is important to some Canadians, and it will make the story more believable. Same goes for wines, especially if your John is from the Niagara region. They’re popular for their wineries and wine tours. And Canadian beer is better, and I don’t even like beer LOL.

Hee hee! I was just scrolling to see if there’s any other I have a comment on, and I actually found this great article about Canadian things you HAVE to try, so yeah, these are all staples of Canadiana! <3

Food Network Canada also has some here too! I have lots to say about all of them minus the seafood and the Caesar, but yeah, all of it is delicious, and just makes me proud to be a Canadian! <3 

AND finally, some a lot of the best-known Canadian cuisine comes from the French Canadians and from our First Nations People [see here for some make-at-home recipes] (bannock bread is AMAZING!!), so have a look see at that too – these are the cultures I grew up with and currently live around, so they’re the ones I’m most familiar with. I know that there’s regional food out west, in the Territories, and out east that I’m unfamiliar with, but do some research on Canadian food, it’s all very unique and amazing.

As I said, a lot of Canada has a lot of “local” things, so many of us make things in our own ways, and we’re pretty easy going about it all, because it’s food and we love food. But yeah, I think poutines are the biggest one. Most Canadians who love poutine will tell you every other poutine EXCEPT a French Canadian poutine is inferior, LOL. 

If any of my fellow Canadians have anything local to their region to share, or has some words about poutine because it is very divisive, please share LOL.

This was such a joy to write, and now I want Persians. :D

[narcissusneverknewme]

Also ya'll are squandering the narrative opportunities, as far as I've seen. Go on, sprinkle a little book lore in, for a treat. Please I'm begging you to make use of the fact that Thorin works hard for and is very aware of the respect of others, while Bilbo consistently gains that respect easily, at every opportunity to show his nature. The wise are humbled and amused by him in turns, he grows in everyone's estimation almost moment to moment and yet it's just his good heart and 'simple wisdom,' rather than any special skill or claim to honor.

I takes Thorin a long time to learn what some of the wise never learn, that Hobbits are worth paying attention to. If we're going to let Thorin survive the Battle of Five Armies, he lives to see Bilbo shown a strange mixture of deference, admiration, and doting indulgence by everyone from Gandalf to Elrond and the great elves that live with him in Rivendell, to the one true king of men.

In fact, this deep respect for Bilbo is one of the things that makes Boromir out of place at the Council of Elrond, he alone among the representatives of the forces of good that could be gathered together to decide what action they will take for the fate of Middle Earth... he alone did not recognize that, in a very real way, Bilbo was one of the most powerful people present.

He does not yet understand, even at the end of the conference, that Bilbo is forever a Ringbearer. Gandalf and Elrond's power certainly is felt in that room, but Bilbo sits at the table with them.

Note that Frodo does not have this presence at this time, even though he is acknowledged as a Ringbearer. In the long history of ring, only Bilbo ever possessed it, claimed it, commanded it, and (for years and years, like 6 decades!!) used it! and never gained or diminished in power, nor was conquered by the ring! In the end, he let the ring go on his own! With nothing more than a little borrowed strength from an old friend.

He had so little hunger, so little greed in him; so little malice and ill will; so much gentleness and self control and generosity that he mastered the One Ring and weilded it, according to his stature and desire, without significant damage to himself and without putting forth any evil into the world at all in doing it. ok I'm waxing poetic, but the enormity of this accomplishment cannot be overstated.

Thorin would live to see it thoroughly understood by every great and important person in Middle Earth that Bilbo had done what Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, Frodo, Boromir, Sméagol, and the nine men that became the Nazgûl (they had been powerful men, among them were at least 2 kings), could not do. He put Sauron's Ring of Power on his little Hobbit finger and he bent the ring to his will as easily and casually as Galadriel wielded Nenya. For like 6 decades. Until he had lived a good, long, full life and found an heir and mentored some young Hobbits and had people to leave things too. Then he gave up his ring and went off adventuring around and then settled down to retire in Rivendell. There, Elrond the Half-Elven sends elves scurrying around to hunt down the Dunadain, True Heir of the Men of the West, to help Bilbo sort his poetry out. In the evening the elves, many of them talented poets as well as great heros, like to sit around and listen to him recite his poetry and tell stories about all the times Bilbo saved the day where dwarves, elves, men, even wizards, had failed.

When old, retired Bilbo says he will take the ring to Mordor himself as he obviously is expected to, Boromir starts to laugh and it dies on his lips because everyone else is completely grave and takes him completely seriously. Bilbo underestimates/undersells his position of respect and authority, but he has it. Only his closest friends smile at all his words, and it's more at his tone, and almost half-believing he could succeed, if it were right to ask it of him.

Anyway, I think the nature of Bilbo himself is underused in fic.

[mizelophsun11]

Mizeloph's Tale Chapter 3

Pairing - The pairing right now is General Kirigan x OC Sun Summoner and then will move forward to Kaz Brekker x OC Sun Summoner

Summary - The Sun Summoner has been found! The unlikely orphan from Ketterdam seems to hold the most important power. She must figure out how she fits into the world now that everything has changed for her. A new life is thrusted upon her and she will have to figure out how she will take it all in.

Word Count - 1698

-

Anna groaned, opening her eyes trying to figure out what was going on. One moment she had been in complete darkness and now she had a Healer kneeling over her. She tried to look over where she last remembered seeing Mal and Alina, she gasped in pain as the Healer continued to work on her.

“Hold on, your collarbone is fractured” she said and worked to heal her collarbone and anything else that Anna needed done

“Wait, Mal.. Alina.. One is a tracker and the other is a map maker, where are they?..” she struggled to speak

“First army goes to medical now please try to stay still” the Healer said and continued to look for anything else that might be broken

Zoya approached them “we have to bring her to General Kirigan’s tent”

“I am not done healing her” the Healer countered

“You can go with her, General Kirigan needs to see her now” Zoya said

The Healier finished making sure that Anna felt comfortable then she was taken to General Kirigans tent. Anna was still slightly out of it, she felt like she had been drained of all of her energy. As she approached the black tent with the guards holding her arms she was amazed by what she saw inside but was also scared. All of this had to be a mistake, she shouldn’t be here, after all she was just a map maker who only had a few years of combat training under her belt.

General Kirigan turned around from looking at the map on the table “what are you?”

“Um.. I am a map maker sir, that's all”

The Grisha in the tent giggled at her response, Anna felt self conscious about her answer but she was telling the truth “Quiet” General Kirigan commanded, everyone stopped laughing “so what actually happened? Zoya? You manned the main sail” he looked over to her

“We were attacked barley two marks in, someone lit a lantern” Zoya replayed the events out loud and in her mind

“And?” General Kirigan asked

“It was her” Zoya answered, point to Anna “she created the light that killed the swarming volcra”

“Our mapmaker.. Is it true? Can you summon light? Where did you grow up?” he looked back over at Anna, with every piece seeming to fall into place, this girl seemed to be at the center of it all

“I don’t remember having a family, I spent a lot of time on the streets of Ketterdam trying to survive, but when I was around 10 Duke Keramsov took me back to his orphanage across the Fold” Anna had never talked much about her childhood, but here she was telling a stranger

“Hmm, and when were you tested?” General Kirigan knew that she had not been tested before, but he wanted to know why from her

“Well, when I was brought over I was past the age of when they would normally test children so on testing day I would be shoved away into a room where they would lock me in there until the testers left” Anna knew that didn’t sound good, but it was the truth and honestly she was glad because then she would not be separated from her friends.

General Kirigan nodded, he was angry about the treatment Anna had when Grisha testers came to the orphanage she had grown up in, but he would fix their mistakes now “If you have never been tested, let us just make certain” he walked up to her taking his claw ring off his pinking and onto his thumb “roll up your sleeve” he summoned shadow into the tent

She rolled her sleeve up, there was nothing she would have to be nervous about. In the moment, she didn’t feel scared, it was as if General Kirigan made her feel less afraid with his presence. Anna had only felt something like this once but, that had been a long time ago when she had a certain boy at her side until he had disappeared. He pulled her sleeve up just a little bit more and used his claw ring to cut her arm and from that wound a burst of pure light came out lighting up the tent and going through the top, everyone in the camp would be able to see. Anna could not believe what she was seeing, pure sunlight was coming out from her arm. General Kirigan smiled at her, seeing the amazement in her eyes, after a bit longer he closed off the cut which stopped the light from coming.

“Ivan” General Kirigan called for him “take her to my coach, I want as many armed guards with her at all times until she is safe behind the walls of the Little Palace”

“Yes sir” Ivan called a few guards over and they ushered Anna out of the tent and towards General Kerrigan's coach.

“Wait, I want to see my friends before I leave, please!” Anna had not seen them since everything went down inside the Fold, they had been taken to medical already by the time she woke up

“No, we have to get you to the Little Palace right now, the sun is beginning to set and there is no doubt every enemy who knows of your existence will be after you now” Ivan kept trying to get Anna to the coach, but she kept trying to fight them

As they approached the coach there was a Healer standing there where he went to make sure Anna was completely healed and took care of the cut on her arm. The Healer then took off his Kefta and gave it to her, she didn’t take it right away but he insisted. It would keep her safe during her journey to the Little Palace.

“Please I just want to make sure my friends are alright” Anna pleaded one more time before they left

“Like I have said, we need to leave now, we must start our journey, we can’t waste a moment. You don’t understand that by now every Shu Han assassin and Fjerdan spy will be after you” with the sun beginning to set in the west and to avoid any danger they would have to leave now while they had some natural cover

Anna knew that she could not fight Ivan and the guards off forever and was about to get into the coach when she saw Mal and Alina trying to make their way over to her “Mal! Alina!” she stepped down and went to run to them but was stopped by another Heartrender

“Miss Mizeloph we have to leave now” Fedyor commanded holding onto her arm

“Anna!” They yelled trying to get closer but where stopped by guards

“Please I need them” she was exhausted, this day had been very draining for her and just a few minutes with her friends would mean the world to her

“I am sorry but you cannot, we must leave now” Fedyor with the help of Ivan were finally able to get Anna into the coach

Once she was shoved into the coach and it started to move, Anna found the back window and pulled the curtains back. She yelled to her friends as she saw them trying to get past the guards to catch up, but there was no way possible for them to get close as the coach left. Once they got farther away from Kribirsk Anna sat down and looked at the two Heartrenders. She sighed and held the Kefta close to herself, so much was running through her mind. Only moments ago she was just another map maker, to now discover she was the legendary Sun Summoner. As the coach continued to move, Anna looked out the window to see the rising moon in the sky, lanterns had been lit to be able to see where they were going.

“So.. I know you are Ivan, who are you?” Anna looked back at the other Heartrender

“My name is Fedyor, and I am sorry about earlier, but we had needed to leave, it is dangerous for you now out in the open and we could not waste a moment to get you to Os Alta behind the walls of the Little Palace”

“Yeah.. I just, this isn’t normal, people coming after me like this. Even in Ketterdam I was never really sought after” Anna went back to looking out the window

“Well they will, if you are truly the Sun Summoner you are the key to taking down the Fold and the Fjerdan and Shu Han will make sure that they will give it their all to make sure that does not happen” Ivan said while looking out the window

“You are after all a hope to our country, it was Grisha who created the Fold and if one can destroy it then maybe.. We could finally be free of its burden, we would no longer be hunted because of who we are'' Anna looked at Fedyor once he was done talking to see that he had a small smile on his face, for him there was hope

Anna looked between the two men and knew that there was so much more to being a Grisha that she did not understand. Just yesterday she had been complaining about how the Grisha at Kirbisk wanted more space to train. However, they had not always had those luxuries, they had once been hunted and in reality they wanted to be treated like others. Grisha could practice the small science at their will, there should be no reason for them to be called witches and hunted until they are all dead. Now that Anna was Grisha she feared that she would now be hunted, always with a pair of eyes over her shoulder to try and survive. She sighed and realized that this would be a long journey, it would be a good idea to get some shut eye before her life changed forever at the Little Palace. Anna closed her eyes and was able to fall asleep pretty quickly, she had started to feel safe with Ivan and Fedyor, knowing they would protect her.

-

Author Note - I would like to send another big thank you to everyone who has liked my story and left a post! I also wanted to address a question someone had and thought it would be good for everyone to know, Anna is the only Sun Summoner in this story. Just incase anyone else was wondering about that there is the answer. I will be continuing to post chapters and if you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know! I would be happy to add you!

Tag List - @rika90 @itsemy01 @hotleaf-juice @teatimeforusreaders @benbarnes-supremacy @graciefullygracie @aleksanderwh0r3

[lucefrs]

          tl;dr: luce thinks about how she should have never ended up at georgetown in the first place, and the domino effect it had on her life. after flunking out of gallagher, she savours the summer. her and scott break up sometime after new years. a quick onslaught of success makes her feel wary, unsure how to not take up space she doesn’t deserve after doing it so many times before. she performs her own song in the lower east side.

                                                                      insp for the song she plays at the end. 

BEFORE.

luce is a bright child but lacks in the area of self discipline and application. she would benefit from paying closer attention during class discussion.

she knew from a very young age that she was not smart. at least not by the metric that institutions measure by. the unlucky curse that has kept her in the stream of academia is this: luce frear is smart enough. to graduate secondary school because it’s a key that unlocks america’s golden arches. to pursue higher education when she gets the encroaching feeling that she’s going to be found out that she doesn’t actually have any family friend's as guarantors. at the time, she doesn’t know how impossible georgetown is. but finding herself in the company of a man who will pay for her to do well, with a tutor that makes the s.a.t’s boil down to a formula of memorization and deduction is a genius move. those three hours are brutal, she struggles but she struggles through it, proud that only a handful of questions were left unanswered. it’s only after she's sat for it that she realizes how impossible georgetown is with it’s fourteen percent acceptance rate.

she uses his mailing address to apply, so it’s him that greets her with a sealed envelope that makes her stomach turn as soon as she opens the door. out of the corner of her eye she sees a bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. she knows what the letter will say: her sat score’s a valiant effort, enough to get her into any state school, but by no means exceptional. bracing herself for his disappointment she pushes the folded paper towards him so she can pretend his disappointment’s directed at the words on the page and not at her. but the skin at the corner of his eyes pinches and there’s no crease between his brows and she knows something is very wrong. or very right. she’s not sure, at the time it’s all very muddled, thinking about how much she likes that there's no place for his smile to hide, and how that's going to be one of her favourite parts of getting old. his smile that runs right to the tip of his nose, bumps against her cheek when he kisses her. he’s kissing her. he’s happy. because of her. she’s made him happy. that's good. she's happy too. then he’s by the kitchen counter, shaking off the champagne from his hand that’s flows over the lip of the bottle and she’s saying things like, ‘   my sat scores were no where near the average,    ’ and he counters that she shouldn’t disregard the importance of supplemental essays and she makes fun of how he talks because she always does. a girl’s got nothing but a gut to trust, and every glass of champagne’s a fuck you to it. luce never pukes from having too much to drink. she pukes in his shower. luce is not smart, but she’s smart enough not to question how she got into georgetown university.

‘   god, you’re so smart luce. we could call it the boyfriend guesses my lip gloss challenge.   ’ she only hears the first part, boasting a smile that makes the apples of her cheeks swell, all rosy like. at the time gallagher had felt like a enticing romp, bound by infatuation, the glint of the dew that hung at the end of the school’s weeping willows sparkling so bright that her heart-shaped sunglasses couldn’t subdue it. luce has never waited for anything, but her first few months at gallagher felt like a gift the universe had hand-picked, oblivious of her christmas list doodled with music notes and brand names of dresses that cost seven hundred dollars, it felt like finding treasure. smart’s an understatement, genius is more apt. she lets this sentiment lead, when the offer to stay comes soaring towards at her like paper plane that falls right into the palm of her hands. it makes logical sense to stay. scott’s here.

she’ll adapt. but gallagher starts to feel worlds away, and as much as she digs her heels into the gravel, gravity starts to slip from her grasp. but how could she can complain? in outer space, anywhere she looks there’s an endless landscape of stars, bright and twinkling, beckoning her towards the nearly planet. but it makes her want to cry when she sees the blue-green dot recede into the distance.

PRESENT-ISH.

luce has her final exam tomorrow and she’s going to crush it. she’s so excited she can’t sleep. there’s no way she could fail it, unless she slept through it but that won’t happen because she has five alarms set and a scott for safe measure. she’s so excited her heart’s sprinting from her sternum to her stomach and it would be classified as nausea if she didn’t know it was just plain excitement. she winces at the brightness from her phone as she checks the time. 3:36. if she falls asleep in the next four minutes she’ll have a solid four hours, but as soon as she closes her eyes her heart runs like it’s just heard the start of the piston, and the percentage she needs to get in order to pass the class rings aloud and reverberates against her brain. forty six percent. she doesn’t even need to pass the exam in order to pass the class — she’s going to be a gallagher girl. whether she likes it or not. in the dark, her hand finds the nob of his bedside drawer, carefully sliding it open, her fingers tinkering inside to feel for whatever weed scott has, gifted joints or a prized gram for winning a dumb luck game. he always has something, even after he passes some of it on to seb. she doesn’t go far, slips out of his grasp and onto the lantern lit cobbled pavements, follows it strictly like she’s on a board in a game of snakes and ladders, stopping every time she takes a drag. she eventually falls against a bench like an abandoned rag-doll, limbs splayed every which way and falls asleep until she's woken up by the rev of a motorcycle engine set as her alarm. luce goes through the pre-test motions with due diligence, takes a shower and eats a proper meal, as though there's someone waiting to accuse her of self-sabotage. she picks up her tote that's packed from the night before and gives the test her all. it's not her fault that her focus wavered in five minute blocks, or that nerves make her feel as though there's an ongoing tussle in her tummy. she treats the residual high as something she couldn't possibly have controlled, it should've left her system by now. and she’s a hero for persevering through it. she tried her best. and in spite of it all, she still fails. thank god.

SUMMER.

she doesn’t want the summer to end. it does anyways.  

INTERLUDE

she's not the type to tuck herself into the booth, but harper’s gone to the bathroom and luce has a gnarly blister on the back of her heel, and her head’s been swimming in cheap liquor all night with no reprieve. she can’t get her head above water for more than a minute before falling back under. her gaze catches a couple in the corner, slow dancing to david guetta and her lips curl into a wry smile, his lips cushioned against his neck, murmuring something she’ll never know, and then they’re laughing — maybe about the fact that they’re slow dancing to memories, or because they’re in love, everything’s funnier when you’re in love. a tiny giggle, lost to the boom of the speakers escapes her, because she’s so in love too.

i miss you.   missing ur 🍆 spare nudes? 🙏🏼 ft? x

she holds down the backspace key and puts her phone away.

                                                         ***

‘   i don't know how to miss you in the right way,   ’ she says after a bout of silence, it makes her stomach lurch, like stepping off a ledge and finding the ground lower than expected. there’s no chance to blink back the tears, and she’s so in shock from what she’s just said that she makes no motion to cover her face from him, staring down the barrel of the webcam, like she’s on the brink of death. she’d give up the forty years of her life to get to the part where she can look back on this fondly, of a great love that once was. her child-like whimpers have her grappling for breath. ‘   it hurts.   ’ she manages to sputter out, and she knows it’s hurting him too. eventually, luce will blink away the last of her tears, because she needs this picture to really believe it.

SOMETIME, SOME DAY.

she's not so much herself as she is everyone else. there are pieces of her in the crescendo of what billboard deems the song of the summer. she’s etched in the familiarity of the bass in the last song played before last call — the resonant thrum of waking up blacked out on the front lawn of an ex best friend. the producer that the lead singer can't function without. the origin story of a grammy nominated album which started on the fire escape, exiled by roaches, a guitar slung like a rifle entering the wild wild west of cicadas and greeted by an empty ashtray save for a half abandoned spliff. a story deified for late night talk shows with parrot hosts and their fake squawks. it’s all made up names in CD booklets that no one looks at anyways. it doesn’t make her an enigma, she has a wikipedia page. record labels take her out for lunch, and she goes because she likes people, even the kind who gawk at her pretty face, drooling at the dollar signs in her doe brown eyes and blonde hair. of course, they love her, a girl who orders salad but doesn’t skip dessert — a reluctance toward fame but endlessly optimistic about the future of the music industry, splits the bill and turns a handshake into a hug when they express their keen interest in working with her. there’s a twinkling note of laughter when she pulls away and says, ‘    you’ve never even heard me sing. i’m not good enough.   ’ and she realizes with a twitch of bitterness that she doesn’t have to be, and things working out feels more like a curse when it isn’t deserved.

she talks but can't write unless it's in time signatures and treble clefs and if she does manage to write in a language comprised of letters ( which has only ever happened once ) she can't sing - unless it’s for boys she likes. so she poaches a voice, scrolling through the repertoire of people who have held her heart in their hands. her song is the last song of his set and it sounds like this. they smile through every note, she laughs at his falsetto in the last chorus. she plays her heart out with a vigour that leaves her palms moist, expecting that when the song ends there’ll be a silence broached by the slow clap of j.k simmons. luce lives in a movie and can feel the montage scene catch up to her. she can feel the lingering memory that never existed : a swollen belly and walls painted pink, a toddler that makes their white picket fenced garden a stomping ground, a cinematic pan across a fairy-lit paris, and night walks. when she looks over, she’ll see him, but she’s going to change the ending. her pinky hovers above the last key she played, letting the sound ring out into silence, before they’re met with fervent applause and whistles. this is the moment. luce looks into the crowd. she looks into the crowd and none of the faces are him because why would they be ? she hadn’t told anyone. the only person who knew was herself. it was hers. this moment is hers and she cradles it close, because she’s never had something of her own before. not really. but she likes the way it feels. the man who once held her heart in his hand kisses the top of her head and praises her with a plunging bow. she looks into the sea of strangers who watch her and she watches them back. this is the moment. hers alone. and she’s never felt less lonely.

[skellebonez]

Monkie Kid Headcanons Part 2: Red Son and Demon Bull Family Backstory

Follow up to this post, with a lot more heavy thinking needed this time. Since these characters technically had backstories in Journey to the West, I wanted to really think over how to work those into what we have in the show (even though it kinda doesn’t 100% work and is really messy if you overthink it since the show throws some stuff to the wayside). This took me multiple days to work out so I hope it at least makes sense.

Warning: This one actually gets very VERY dark with emotional and psychological abuse detailed in the later half, so I am putting all of these under a read more. Seriously. I want you to be aware of this before you click that button. Do not ignore this warning please.

I PROMISE that part 3 will be a lot less heavy. I just wanted to get this out so I could finally move on from it.

First, gonna preface this with the fact we all know Monkie Kid is not 100% accurate to Journey to the West. Characters that are supposed to be dead are alive after all, and Red Son’s existence in the show itself in particular kinda makes no sense when I overthink about him. Red Boy is evil in his first appearance, but comes back redeemed way later in the novel (and with his name changed to that of an actual deity who had already existed outside of JTTW with a completely different backstory).

In reality, JTTW is fiction based on historical events and Monkie Kid is made to be a kid’s show and was never going to be accurate to the novel. Not even adaptations of JTTW are. So basically, I headcanon this: in the show, JTTW the novel exists as a highly accurate and very important piece of historical novelization (a non-fiction novel). But like most examples of real non-fiction novels (like Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood), it is not entirely accurate and there are bits and pieces that do not line up. It is, however, incredibly close to 98% accuracy and anyone in it who reads it is impressed.

That being said, Red Son did study with Guanyin for quite a few years (though he was not entirely redeemed like his book counterpart, he was getting there). He actually did learn a lot and was pretty darn happy to be under her teaching at the time. Mostly because he didn’t know what was going on outside...

Unfortunately, later portions of JTTW confirm that Red Son being taken... completely ruined Monkey King and Demon Bull King’s friendly relationship. So that, combined with other events in the Fiery Mountains, it is incredibly likely that is why DBK was so bent on ruling and taking out Wukong for good. He wanted revenge for a lot of stuff Monkey King did.

Before we get into the depressing stuff, I personally headcanon that DBK was actually just. Dead. Completely dead. That is why he went from being covered in floof to being big buff body builder man. Hair does not grow back when you are dead. Removing the staff completely revived him. I needed a silly weird headcanon in here ok?

Since Princess Iron Fan calls him her husband, not her ex-husband as he had divorced her to be with Princess Jade Face in JTTW, I think they either reconciled at some point or PJF... didn’t exist? Since LMK is a kid’s show the later is more likely... but this is my headcanon. Given her personality in the show and book I think it is possible that they mutually divorced due to losing Red Son, DBK remarried, then realized he still loved PIF and wanted to go back to her and she took him back.

We don’t actually know much about PJF so... uh... I like to think she was shockingly chill about it and is just living comfortably somewhere else now. And never wants to see Monkey King again. I hope she is living her best fox spirit life.

Also unfortunately, DBK did not stand a chance and when he was sealed it took a major toll on PIF. She was left alone, her renewed husband either trapped or dead under a mountain and her son kinda sorta still arrested by a deity. This made her more distant to everyone and a lot more cold.

When news of what happened to his father reached Red Son, he pleaded with Guanyin to be allowed to leave her teaching to stay with his mother. He knew what isolation felt like and did not wish for her to feel the same any longer. Guanyin trusted her disciple and allowed him to return to his mother permanently, if he desired. Alone.

This was a mistake. Oh boy was this a mistake. Heaven should have either sent someone else completely or had someone accompany Red Son to PIF to help her because this one decision is why everything in show happens.

At first things go pretty well. PIF is definitely in need of support, but she is ecstatic to see her son again. And that lasts. For a while. Until she starts to project onto Red. She starts to blame him for being captured, for not being strong enough to take out Wukong when he had the True Samadhi Fire, for not being there to keep DBK from leaving her, for not being there to help his father fight Wukong a second time. Everything is Red Son’s fault now.

This simmers for a while before it starts to come forth to the surface. She starts being colder and more distant and giving Red little jabs in their conversations. She says them so sweetly it always takes Red a second to register what she says. 

“Oh Red Son, if only your father were here to see this. Too bad you weren’t there to save him.” “I love you my son, even if you can be useless at times.” “Princess Jade Face would have loved you I bet, but you were far too busy with the celestials to visit. I understand.”

This starts to wear Red down after a while, until he starts to believe his mother. He WASN’T there when he father was defeated, he COULD have taken care of Wukong, he WAS the reason his father left his mother. She was as warm and loving to him as she was when he was a small child when he came back but now? Now she’s as cold to him as anyone else.

She is never outright physically abusive, that is below her in her mind. But other things? Like not having his meals prepared along side hers? Insulting him as casually as saying the sky is blue? Pointing out every mistake he makes when writing or working on a project? Taking his things and “losing” them, only to “find” them days later in a place she told him to look and telling him he needs to be more careful? “Mistakenly” locking Red Son in his room and ignoring his yells and pleas to be let out? Those are on the table.

And this is when he becomes obsessed with getting back in her good graces and starts to push aside his teachings from Guanyin. He just wants his mother back.

His mother does not come back... but his old self does.

Guanyin does not learn of this until long after it is impossible to convince Red Son to leave his mother. She has the kneejerk reaction to just take him back by force but... for some reason she does not. She lets him stay. Perhaps she does not want to make the wrong decision again. Perhaps she feels she taught him everything she could. No one really knows. She does not discuss this.

After a while PIF does lessen her emotional and psychological abuse, once she is certain Red Son will never leave her. She even starts to treat him nicely, like her son who she always loved, like a mother again, even praises and defends him from others again (and Red Son eats it up because this is exactly what he wanted and just fuels his determination to prove himself and stay in her good graces). And at the time the show begins she has come to terms with the fact Red Son was not, in fact, at fault for anything and even regrets this portion of her life.

Make no mistake, however, her treating him less bad, even well at times, now does NOT in any way absolve her of how she treated him in the past. She is still abusive and she has done nothing that could truly set anything right. She still calls him things like “her sweet useless boy” and pulls shit like the racing episode. It’s not really any better. It’s just not actively as bad as it used to be at the moment.

DBK in show did not notice how PIF had changed because in the pilot he was too distracted with being revived and as the show went on he was too distracted with the power of the White Bone Spirit calling to him.

Upon a rewatch he actually seems to be under WBS’s thrall multiple times before episode 10, such as the racing episode where we can clearly see his eyes glowing with possession blue, and I think this affected his personality a bit. Not much, I think he was still neglectful and cold to Red Son from the get go, but WBS probably exacerbated the worst parts of his personality long before taking over completely.

But I think he sure does notice NOW that the thrall no longer has him. Whether or not he does anything about this is up in the air, however. It is entirely possible he falls fully into neglect and does nothing to stop anything.

Red Son knows, very deep down, that his father is neglectful and his mother is abusive. He knows. He just won’t admit that not even demons are like this to their children. Won’t admit that he doesn’t deserve it, that he never deserved it. Because he loved his mother deeply before he left. He loved her when she convinced him he did. And he still loves her, and his father. He’s stubborn. He doesn’t want to give up on that.

It is going to take a LOT for someone to show him that he deserves better. But having his father back has not been everything he had hoped it would be and now... now it may be possible for someone to reach him. At least convince him that SOMETHING needs to change.

[thadelightfulone]

All I Want... 25 Days of Christmas Challenge, Day 5

November 21st - Part 2

Erik’s tablet chimed as he finished up the dishes. He set aside the leftovers for later and went to see what DeeDee had to say.

He roared with laughter at how she ended the email. Why was she so stuck on finding out if he found the love he described? Her curiosity tickled him and now he had to decide how to navigate this conversation away from that kind of talk. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about the non-existent once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that he wanted. But how do you explain to someone how you never felt you deserved it, so you never went looking for it? And therefore, you don’t have it. 

Erik sighed and reached for something stronger than water to drink. 

He took the tablet, the bottle and glass into the living room. He took a seat on the couch and cracked his knuckles and began to write his response for the Curious DeeDee. Erik shook his head and laughed again. 

Erik hoped this would be enough to get DeeDee away from asking again, but something told him it wasn’t over.

---

DeeDee had devoured half of the pizza and the bottle of wine. She went to her room to  change out of her cleaning clothes into her favorite hoodie and a pair of yoga pants. 

Her laptop went off when she returned from the back, and DeeDee jumped onto her couch in excitement. She couldn’t wait to find out that he found his true life long love. 

If she couldn’t find it for herself, there was no reason for her to not want that for everyone else. Live vicariously through her new friend, Erik. Wait, could she consider him a friend? She scrunched her face at that rude thought and opened his email.

SUBJECT: RE: ‘MgYHeArTaNdSOULa’

Hi Dee Dee,

I know you know I meant science, but I will answer one of those questions to quell your curiosity. I, also, commend you for pursuing your doctorate, and in advanced chemistry, no less. 

So, it’s kind of a funny story, but I never meant to leave it in there. 

Fun fact about the note, it is much older than you think. I was a civil engineering major during undergrad, when I originally wrote that note and left it in the book. 

It happened when I was returning all my checked out books from the library. I was getting ready to move and needed to get them all in to avoid any replacement fees that would have prevented the conferral of my doctoral degree. So, I turned all of those books in without checking them. Which was definitely out of character for me. Especially since I lived by all my written notes for both class and research. 

I discovered it was missing when I went to look for it after the move. I knew exactly where it was, but I knew I wouldn’t be going back to get it. So, it was just out there. Besides, I knew what it said by heart, so it was fine.  

I will tell you I never expected to be discussing it years later though. It has been a very pleasant surprise.

Thank you,

E

“Of course, he would avoid the damn question.” She huffed out and poured another glass. It should not be that hard to answer, either he found it or is still in search of it. DeeDee’s hand stilled as she brought it to her lips. Nope, not going there tonight. She took a long drink of her wine.

She set the glass down, drew up her legs and crossed them before settling the computer on her lap. In a flurry, DeeDee’s fingers danced across her keyboard as she wrote her response. The alcohol heated her up to match her current mood. 

---

Erik was chilling, in a half-assed attempt to watch the movie playing on TV. He had turned the volume down because the woman’s high pitched tone was grating on his nerves. He set the whiskey down on his coffee table and leaned back with his feet propped up and closed his eyes. 

The easily recognizable email alert stirred him. Oh, she had time. It had only been about 20 minutes since he sent the last email. He sat up and opened up the email. 

SUBJECT: RE: ‘MgYHeArTaNdSOULa’

Mr. Erik, 

So, you really aren’t going to answer that other question? Ok, that’s fine. I’ll let it slide for now.

Thank you for that. I have always wanted to work in the science field and I found toxicology while I was working on my Bachelors. I enjoy it and definitely appreciate having Dr. O as my mentor. 

That is an interesting story. The one time you lost control and you left something like the note behind. Well, I guess it is just my luck that I found it and decided to look for you, huh? Oh, and you’re welcome. 

What do you do now? I know you aren’t working in a lab or researching much anymore.  

I read a little bit about you but I don’t know much about the work that the Wakandan Outreach Centers do. I would love to hear about it.

DeeDee 

“That’s right. Quis, did say she was one of his students.” Then why was he worried about the person being a stalker. Erik set the tablet down and reached for his cell to text him. 

Erik: Quis, why were you worried about DeeDee?

Quis: What? 

Erik: About stalker potential?

Quis: Man, I didn’t even know it was her until she came and showed me a picture.

Erik: What picture?

Quis: Our Grad Student of the Year picture from the front of the Southern Digest.

Erik nodded his head, “So, Miss DeeDee knows what I look like. Or what I looked like.”

Quis: Everything good, man. 

Erik: Yeah, yeah. Just wanted a little background, can’t be too sure of people asking for help these days.  

Quis: DeeDee could never stoop to Karina’s level. She’s safe. 

“The hell, she is.” Erik picked up his glass and took a sip. “This woman is becoming more dangerous, as we speak.”

Quis: So, I take it that you can be of use to her?

Erik: Uh yeah, she is very sharp. 

Quis: You have no idea.

Erik: Thanks again. Oh, and I got the email, so I’m making plans now. 

Quis: Great. Later, man.

“If Marquis vouched for her, then I have nothing to worry about.”

Erik dropped his phone back onto the couch and picked up the tablet. 

“Here goes nothing.”

--- 

DeeDee was on Spotify. She picked a list at random and let the music take her away. She was slowly bodyrolling to Rome Flynn’s ‘Keep Me In Mind’ with a refreshed glass in hand, when her phone blinked. She walked over to it and saw that Erik had sent another email. She took a sip and picked up her phone to open his reply. 

SUBJECT: RE: ‘MgYHeArTaNdSOULa’

DeeDee,

How did I go from Erik to Mister? 

I guess if you get to know me better than maybe you would find out the answer to your question. 

But you are right. I tend to have a tight rein on things, it has always been that way. So, when I lost the note, I was irritated before I realized it wasn’t going to matter in the long run. But it appears to have landed in exceptional hands. *winks*

Well, I am in the family business. My family started the Wakandan Outreach Centers. The first one was opened up here in Oakland. I am the Director of Operations for it and all the Centers on the West Coast.

My first love will always be science. So, although, I may not be active in the field according to your definition. I still use everything I learned and conduct research with my cousins on a regular basis.

Since you know so much about me. Tell me something about DeeDee. Like how much longer do you have to complete your doctorate? 

Mr. Erik

“Does he think that wink is gonna work on me?” DeeDee hid her smile behind the glass. “Damnit.” 

She locked up the phone and walked back to her couch. DeeDee traded devices and picked up her laptop to reply to Erik. 

“You don’t get to wink at me and then wash over the topic again.” 

DeeDee pressed down hard on each key as she typed. She admired the fact that his family was close enough to work together on something as big as the successful operation of multiple Outreach Centers across the U.S. But she would not rest until he answered her. 

“You aren’t cute, Mr. Erik.” She glanced over to the notebook, where the newspaper clipping of him and Dr. O was folded up inside. She recalled some dimples and a bright smile. He definitely towered over her 5’4 frame. He stood at least 2-3 inches taller than Dr. O, and she had to look up at him all the time. “Yeah, you not that cute.”

She clapped her hands and hit the ‘send’ button. Her phone went off. She saw Beverly sent something in the group chat.

Bev: Dinner and the club, tonight?

Phyll: You know I’m down. 

DeeDee: No thanks. I’m covered for the rest of the year.

Bev: Come on, DeeDee. 

DeeDee: Phyll, don’t you have work?

Phyll: Don’t try to change the subject, Dee. 

Bev: You ain’t doing nothing important. It’s not like you have something to study for anymore.

DeeDee looked at her computer. “Come on, Erik. Give me a reason to stay home tonight.”

---

Erik just brought the glass to his lips when the tablet alerted him to another email. So, they were really doing this tonight? Back and forth emails in real time. He doesn’t even remember the last time, he looked forward to hearing from someone. It had been a while since someone had his attention like that. And after a few simple emails, he found that DeeDee squirmed her way into that space. 

“What’s up Miss DeeDee?” He opened the email, “Ready to share?”

SUBJECT: RE: ‘MgYHeArTaNdSOULa’

Mister Erik, 

*pouts* Fine. I don’t know why you can’t just answer the question now, but ok. 

That is wonderful. Sounds like the family business is treating you well. And you are enjoying what you do. That is all I want from my career. I want to do research and teach others. It’s a growing field so if we can get more men and women of color into STEM careers, I am here for it. 

Something about me -- I’m an only child and a legacy student. Both of my parents attended Southern. In fact, it’s where they met all those years ago. And I like to read...like I can read anything and get lost in someone else’s world for hours.

But this is hopefully my final semester, I am preparing to defend my dissertation next month. Wish me luck!  

DeeDee

“Her parents met at Southern?” Erik put the tablet down and walked over to his fireplace. He picked up the center picture from the mantle and closed his eyes briefly.  Two people were standing together in front of a large building. He rubbed his fingers over the top of the image of his parents. It read John B. Cade, it was the library at Southern University. Where his parents met and fell in love. 

Erik took a deep breath and put the picture back up. He stood there and looked at the tablet.

“Is it possible that she could be?” He shook his head before he went down that road. The image of the last woman he thought could be his one and only flashed across his mind. He groaned out. Erik walked over to the couch and grabbed the tablet. “Only one way to find out.”

Taglist: @teakturn​​ @ghostfacekill-monger​​ @shaekingshitup​​ @nahimjustfeelingit-writes​​ @woahitslucyylu​​ @ladymac82​​ @bugngiz​​ @eyeknowmywrites​​ @ajspencer1892​​ @arafatih​​ @issimplyaamazinggg​​ @tchallasbabymama​​

[miskatonique]

HERBERT WEST CHEAT SHEET !

since my muses are not super well known in the contemporary rpc ( and i’m too lazy to do a full about page at this very moment ) i decided to put together little posts for them that give their general backgrounds, vibes, and plot possibilities !

this is a mix of canon and headcanon, and these are subject to change / adapt as i get more used to writing the characters

BACKGROUND:

Films: Re-Animator 1985, Bride of Re-Animator 1990, Beyond Re-Animator 2003

We don’t talk about Beyond Re-Animator......

Dr. Herbert West, 24 in the first movie, 27 in the second movie, idk like 40 in the third movie. Mad scientist to the MAX. In the novelization Herbert is an orphan who gets passed around in foster homes before eventually going to undergrad at NYU and pursuing his theory about the re-animation of dead tissue. Mostly people think he’s sort of crazy until one of his articles catches the eye of Dr. Hans Gruber at a university in Switzerland, and he invites Herbert to come work alongside him. Herbert eventually grows to respect Gruber as both a mentor and father-figure.

Herbert and Gruber develop a reagent that affects re-animation in dead animal tissue but they know that for their results to be taken seriously they need to do a human trial. Dr. Gruber volunteers but the dosage of the reagent is too large, and though it brings Gruber back to life it quickly overwhelms his system and he dies again. Herbert is taken into psychiatric custody in Switzerland but is eventually released.

Herbert returns to America and specifically sets his sights on Miskatonic Medical School in Arkham, Massachusetts because one of the staff, Dr. Carl Hill, used to work with Gruber years ago, and even went on to plagiarize some of Gruber’s work and publish it in America. Herbert makes it his secondary goal to absolutely terrorize Dr. Hill, and because he’s a chaotic gremlin in human form he’s very good at it.

Herbert continues working on perfecting the reagent, rooming with Dan Cain and eventually pulling Dan into the experiments as well when Dan’s cat dies and Herbert is able to prove his research by reanimating it. Herbert isn’t perturbed when Dan’s talk with Dean Halsey goes south, and just digs his heels in and insists that the only way to truly prove that the reagent works is to reanimate a human cadaver.

Results are just as bad as you’d expect. Sure, the cadaver reanimates but it also wrecks the morgue and kills Dean Halsey. RIP. Herbert insists that they reanimate him and the dean comes back less like himself and more animalistic, trying to kill both Herbert and Dan before his daughter Meg shows up and stops him. Despite it all, Herbert manages to wriggle his and Dan out of any suspicion from the police but Dr. Hill takes an interest in Herbert’s work once he does exploratory surgery of Dean Halsey and finds out he’s technically dead.

Dr. Hill confronts Herbert in his laboratory and threatens to steal Herbert’s work and take it for his own, offering Herbert the meager honour of being his assistant. Herbert promptly murders Hill via decapitation but decides not to let his fresh corpse go to waste and reanimates both Hill’s head and his body, which come back to life and knock Herbert out and steal all of his work.

Yada yada, Herbert gets Dan to help him go after Hill, the big climax happens. Herbert is able to prove his theory about overdose by shooting up Dr. Hill’s headless body with a bunch of reagent, which backfires and Herbert is left for dead all tangled up in Hill’s intestines, but not after he ensures that his research is safe with Dan.

They never explain how Herbert survives the first movie but he sure is alive in the second movie! It’s roughly 3ish years after the first film, so he’s got his doctorate now and he’s drug Dan all the way to Peru so they can be volunteer medics in a civil war. This obviously gives Herbert an unprecedented access to fresh bodies for his experiments.

Eventually he and Dan head back to Miskatonic Hospital, where they’re able to get jobs and a creepy cute little house that used to be a mortuary so they can continue the work. Herbert is now obsessed with the reanimation of separate parts and convinces Dan to help him build an entirely new life from parts. Dan’s not on board until Herbert shows him Megan Halsey’s heart and promises that they’ll build the body around it.

Dr. Hill’s head also somehow survived the first movie and it tries to terrorize Herbert, along with a cop who’s investigating Herbert for stealing corpses. Herbert eventually kills and reanimates the cop, and then gets into even more trouble when all of the other strange creatures he’s been reanimating start coming after him because they’re being mind controlled by Dr. Hill’s nasty head ( don’t ask me okay, this script was written in literally 6 weeks it makes no sense )

Anyway Herbert and Dan successfully bring their creation to life right before getting attacked by Dr. Hill and his army of weirdos, all while Dan is having a mental breakdown because he thinks the creation is his dead girlfriend Meg. In the chaos Dan and the creation escape separately while Herbert and Hill and co. get trapped under buried rubble and are left for dead ( AGAIN ).

But surprise! Herbert isn’t dead! We don’t know how he survived but we do know that at some point in time Dan turned over evidence to the authorities that led to Herbert’s arrest and imprisonment. The third movie picks up with Herbert who’s been in prison for 13 years and the dumbass new hospital doctor is a fanboy of Herbert and brings in some of his reagent. Herbert basically starts a prison riot, chaos ensues, this movie is Not Good, but the important thing is that Herbert escapes prison with his work and gets to walk off free and definitely alive into the night <3

VIBES / PERSONALITY:

His work is EVERYTHING to him -- there have been multiple times where Herbert has put his work above his own bodily safety or chance of survival, and I guarantee he would do it again, too. Herbert is mostly focused on being able to do the impossible simply because it’s “impossible.” He’s able to convince Dan to help him because he reasons the practical applications of his reagent, like saving lives by aiding in surgeries or helping with amputations, but at the end of the day Herbert is only concerned with discovery, acclaim, and giving classical science a big ‘ole middle finger.

He can be incredibly manipulative when looking for a specific action or behavior in the people close to him. This mostly is seen in how he treats Dan, often reeling him back in with promise of how much good their work will do in the world when Dan starts to get squeamish. Herbert is also really good at finding the sorest spots in someone and pressing on them, but usually only does this when he wants to prove a point or if he really hates someone.

He gains a lot of power by seeming like the more “level-headed” person in an altercation, but he can get extremely excitable or aggressive, especially when something goes well with his research or if it’s being threatened.

He’s genuinely a good doctor, doesn’t freak out under pressure, has neutral-good bedside manner, is very decisive and isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions when it comes to a patient’s life. However, Herbert considers himself a scientist first and a doctor second. The work on reanimation will always come before anything else.

He’s a HUGE fucking nerd, he loves making puns or little zingers whenever he can fit them into a conversation. He also likes playing practical jokes, though he doesn’t do it often. He’s got a great evil giggle.

Oh he’s terrible at taking care of himself. There’s a deleted scene from the first movie where Herbert is shown to be injecting himself with a weakened version of the reanimating reagent because it helps keep his brain sharp and makes it to where he doesn’t have to sleep. What a NUT. I think he probably weans off this habit, by force or choice. His sleeping and eating habits are still pretty bad, though. Definitely the kind of person who doesn’t eat/sleep/rest unless he’s genuinely about to collapse because of it.

Oh he’s also sooooooooooo gay. gay gay gay homo sexual.

There are very few people he outright respects or enjoys spending time around, and with everyone else he is absolutely so bitchy and rude. He doesn’t give a single shit about being polite. Also ACAB.

PLOT POSSIBILITIES:

Got any canonically dead muses? Want them to be alive again? Herbert can help with that! He’ll definitely want to make sure they stick around and observe them to see why the reagent worked so well, maybe do some extra tests, so he can also double as a really annoying, creepy roommate. Score!

Med student muses? I have a new classmate for you

Ever wondered what your muse would do if they saw someone graverobbing, or smuggling body parts into their house in the middle of the night? Do they stop him? Ask questions? Offer to help? Now’s the chance to find out!

He could always use a new assistant since Dan keeps abandoning him after every movie, jfc, loyalty is so hard to find these days

Meet-cute where one of his reanimated creations tries to murder you and he saves you from it <3