#some of these are just what would be the funniest things

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Woe, Bedrock Bros reincarnation AU be upon you! (And make it dark)

The Bedrock Kingdom's a weird one. Weird, in the fact that it never has to deal with a dispute over who sits on the throne. Weird because it never has to deal with the consequences of a weak-willed or greedy or bad leader.

Because, there is only one of two people on the throne: King Technoblade or King Theseus.

It’s a cycle. When King Technoblade ascends to the throne after the death of King Theseus, somewhere in Bedrock, King Theseus is born again. And a search is immediate to find the newborn prince. When he is found, he is brought to the palace and raised with love and affection until it is his turn to Ascend the throne after the death of King Technoblade. And then King Theseus starts the search for his heir/his friend/his brother/his father/his son.

Round and round the cycle goes. No one knows who was originally the older and who was originally the younger. Not even the Kings themselves. It took a few generations before they started writing things down that they wanted their Future incarnations to know.

Because the Kings don't remember their past lives.

The cycle begins anew when a Young Prince Theseus ascends to the throne. King Technoblade lived a long time this cycle, and King Theseus's prior incarnation had lived the longest of any recorded out of spite because someone said he couldn't.

So, the new King Theseus is young. An adult, but barely in his 20s. He's impulsive and a bit impatient and DESPERATE to get Techno back.

He reads through some of his predecessors’ notes and sees how it can sometimes take YEARS to find Techno and he is enraged by that concept. He is going to find Techno NOW. He will NOT be waiting years.

The search is begun and King Theseus spurs his subjects on to hurry or else and finally there is an infant put into King Theseus's arms and King Theseus beams with joy at finally having Technoblade back, ready to adore him and shower him with all of the love that King Theseus remembered getting growing up.

The baby is not Technoblade.

Techno grows up in some obscure village in the middle of nowhere. His parents have too many mouths to feed and when Techno is 12, he is kicked out to try and make a living on his own. Cruel, but also common in his poor town. Techno does what many from his home do in his situation.

He lies about his age and joins the army.

You can join the Bedrock Army at the age of sixteen. For two years, you are in training. Basically an apprenticeship. At 18, you are a full-fledged soldier. If you are REALLY good, you can even become a Knight.

Techno DEFINITELY doesn't look 16. He looks MAYBE a little older than 12, but that's just because of his height.

However, like I said, its COMMON for desperate kids to be kicked out. The Military is used to it.

They just check it off as all good and let Technoblade in.

And Technoblade is very very good at being a soldier. He picks up a sword and learns at record speed. Like he had done it a million times and just had to be reminded of the controls. His superiors LOVE him. His peers’ jealousy is erased because Techno is just so likable. He can be so quiet one moment and then the next say the funniest thing that has his whole platoon tearing up from laughter. He is well liked.

News from the capital shakes the entire foundation of the country when Techno is thirteen and soon to become an official soldier.

Prince Technoblade was a fake. The nobility tried to insert a false Technoblade in order to steal the crown from The Bedrock Bros. It was only found out because the young “prince” had begun to act off. When King Theseus had looked into it, he found the conspiracy.

No one dared ask what happened to the false prince, but the hangman’s noose was frayed from how many men and women were forced to their deaths.

A Search was called.

Techno's unit was tense. They were aware that many of the kids they let in would be in that age range, though they couldn't be sure how many because they HID their ages. They start taking a quiet audit of their child soldiers while also working as efficiently as possible to gather all of the 13 to 14 year old in their assigned section of the country.

When they start interrogating Techno about his age, he lies.

He says he's one year younger than he really is. His superiors slump in relief, grateful that they don't have to risk giving up their best soldier, the kid who will DEFINITELY become a knight and the pride of their home.

Techno is just grateful they bought it. He very much does NOT want to even be CONSIDERED to be a Prince. Sure, his parents may have named him after the Previous King, but that was COMMON. There were so many Technoblades and Theseus's running around the kingdom. It didn't mean anything.

However, the fact that the Military had to hastily “fire” a ton of soldiers means that they don't have enough to escort the kids to the capital AND protect their stations. So they have to be very efficient on where they place their manpower.

Techno is sent to herd the kids to the capital. He is…very not liking that. He will just stay in the back. Its fine. No one will know he's younger. He is tall enough that as long as they don’t make him take off his helmet, everything will be juuuuuussstttt fine.

They make him take off his helmet.

When they enter the palace, they are not allowed to cover their heads. Technoblade grimaces and bears with it and walks behind the other soldiers, herding the nervous teenagers into the palace. It takes forever. Each child is being examined by the King Himself, before being dismissed and given three gold coins for all the trouble. A pittance to nobility but a treasure to the working class. They go forward in a single file line, some shrinking under the cold blue eyes. Others marveling at the gleaming crown atop a mop of golden curls.

Some of the kids are waved through quickly. Others, the King pauses on before shaking his head. Even fewer get pulled aside and led further into the castle.

Technoblade's entire gaggle of teens is almost through when King Theseus orders them to stop. Techno glances up at King Theseus and sees the man staring at him with narrowed eyes.

King Theseus demands to know Techno's age and he says 16. The King stares at him. The whole room stares at him, really. King Theseus had talked to VERY few in this process.

The King smiles and its sharp and he begins to talk. It seems like pleasant conversation, at first, the King even cracking a silly joke or two. Acting younger than he looked. He then compares the situation to something that happened when Techno would have been young. Techno nods along like “Oh yes, of course I remember that”

King Theseus just smirks and says that there is no way he would remember, because he would have to be older than 16 to know it. Which means he's lying. How much is he lying? Technoblade kind of balks at that, not sure what to say. King Theseus asks again about Techno's age. Royal Knights, not just the soldiers he came with, start to close in on him. Techno can't help but reflexively put his hand on his sword as they approach. Before removing his hand when he sees the number of knights. He cringes before turning to King Theseus and telling him he turned fourteen three days prior.

King Theseus just grins and orders Techno to be taken with the others. Techno is embarrassed as he's led back through the palace.

He is stuck with a group of boys that all…look really similar to him. There are around six of them.

The Royal Knights demand that Techno take off his armor which Techno adamantly refuses to do. He is not going without armor in this place. It could be dangerous. They tell them that it is for the protection of the royal family that he cannot be so guarded. Techno snarks something at them about that, and the knight takes it personally.

Techno is now jumped by around eight royal knights determined to strip him out of his armor like an angry hermit crab. Techno fights and struggles and definitely breaks noses and fingers before the knights get a good hold and finally start peeling his armor off of him.

Cackling draws Techno's eye, even as he is pinned down and a swearing guard is pulling at the buckles keeping his armor on.

King Theseus arrives with a bright smile and too bright eyes. All of the teens in the room bow.

Except Techno, still pinned to the floor and trying to kick the guard attempting to take off his shinguards in the crotch.

King Theseus is certain that the teen struggling on the floor with a scowl is Technoblade. He is CERTAIN.

But he was certain before, as well.

His haste had cost him fourteen years with Technoblade. Time spent on a traitorous brat instead of the one who should have been by his side. He won't let his haste ruin things again.

He'll go by the book. As boring as that could be. It wasn't the first time there was a case of mistaken identity for one of the Royals. His predecessors had worked out contingencies for just that occasion.

King Theseus would have HIS Technoblade back.

Techno is given a nice room. Far nicer than the barracks he had lived in. But the way the nicely dressed boy was moaning, you would think they were locked in a jail. So what if they had to share a space? It wasn't THAT bad. Techno just claimed the bed that let him keep an eye on the door and mourned the fact that he was armorless. It SUCKED.

They are then all tested.

There are a bunch of tests, some that he isn't even sure if they ARE tests. The king is at every one. They are things like picking out clothes to wear, or organizing jewels to your preference. Technoblade finds it very boring and, honestly, he tries to fail. He picks out a boring outfit that is COMFY instead of finery. He organizes the jewels by taste, which is bullshit, they all taste like rocks, but he is annoyed that his intentional stupidity doesn't get him kicked out.

He enjoys the wolf dogs. That's pretty cool. Getting to go out and pet the very intimidating growly dogs was neat.

The kid that kicked one dog was IMMEDIATELY escorted out and away. It didn’t matter that the dog bit him hard enough to bleed.

Techno nearly gets out of having to take a different test because he was hidden under dozens of little wolf-dog puppy bodies. He will remember that hiding spot for future use.

There are a ton of tests. The ones trying to stay seem to try and recreate the reputation of the Blood God. King Theseus is known to be the kinder of the kings while King Technoblade has always been quick to anger and ruthless.

(This is bullshit. King Technoblade was the type to quickly mete out justice, but never hold a grudge. King Theseus is VENGEFUL. He burns down whole noble houses when he's mad. Sometimes literally. But most people don't realize that because he is so personable and extroverted.)

Techno doesn't understand why his chill personality doesn't get him kicked immediately when all of these other teenagers are doing their best to imitate rabid dogs.

Technoblade only once nearly gets eliminated.

King Theseus gave them free reign over the library and, out of all of the candidates, Techno was the only one uninterested. Didn't go inside even once. Completely ignored it.

King Theseus himself interrogates Techno on this. Because of nature vs nurture, some things are BOUND to change from lifetime to lifetime. But King Technoblade not being a total nerd about books?

Impossible. Never happened.

King Theseus is a little sad when he confronts Techno, ready to dismiss the kid with a heavy heart. It felt a bit wrong. But he would do what needed to be done. He wanted HIS Technoblade, not another fake.

The reason comes quickly.

Techno can't read.

King Theseus almost sighs in relief at that. He assigns Techno a teacher to learn. Techno is skeptical and takes this as a sign that he should lean into the books=bad mindset so he can go home.

Unfortunately, he finds that he very very VERY much likes books. He is found multiple times at dawn, bent over a book with his hair a mess and dark circles under his eyes. He ends up falling asleep during the other tests, much to King Theseus's annoyance and amusement. They end up having to lock the door to the library at night so Technoblade won't sneak out and hide in there.

It keeps going until there are only two left. Techno and the son of a very powerless noble. King Theseus asks them both a question during dinner, telling them to think about their answer for the night and tell him in the morning.

King Theseus asks them what should be done with an anarchist who wished to overthrow the monarchy.

Techno snorts at that while the other scowls at Techno. King Theseus ask Techno about his reaction.

Techno is VERY DONE with all of the tests and wants to leave. He wants to go back. And, even though it is probably a VERY stupid thing to say to a king, he tells King Theseus that at this point he would give the Anarchist a high-five and then go take a nap. Literally everyone in the room stares at Techno with varieties of horror and rage.

Except King Theseus who is cackling loudly. He dismisses both of them back to their room for the night.

The guards are kinda glaring at Techno for his comment, which Techno is glad for. Aha. He can finally leave! He's in the clear.

As soon as the door closes to the dormitory, the other boy stabs Techno in the back.

The noble boy’s family was told by more powerful families that if they could make King Theseus take their son, then they would bail them out of debt. But, if he wasn't chosen, then they should kill whichever boy was Actually Technoblade. Maybe, if they killed him before he could ascend, then the cycle would break and they could take control.

Which, in practice, WOULD break the cycle.

But Techno was a VERY good soldier.

Even with a knife sticking out of his back, he is able to overpower the other teen. The teen screams bloody murder, yelling for help. Guards flood the room and yank Techno off of the struggling teen. It hurts because thet pin Techno's arms behind his back, even with the knife still in place. The guards help the swearing noble off the floor, many glaring at Techno. Techno scowls back.

King Theseus comes in, scowling just as much and demands to know what happened. The noble kid smirks slightly, before he says he was just giving his answer to the question. What should be done with an anarchist who wished to destroy the royal family? Obviously, they should die.

King Theseus turns to Technoblade, still gripped by the guards and asks him if he has anything to say for himself. Techno glares. At the King. At the Noble. At the guards.

Techno responds that if a King has to stab someone in the back, he was too Weak to rule the country anyways. Might as well let it crumble. Noble kid just scoffs.

King Theseus nods for a moment before he grins, something sharp and cunning in his eye. He walks closer to Techno and Techno refuses to cower in front of the King, meeting his eye as if to dare him to do something.

Carefully, King Theseus wraps his arms around Technoblade and hugs him tight. The knife shifts and Technoblade can't help but gasp.

“Welcome home, Technoblade,” King Theseus would say, before ordering the guards to grab the noble and chop off his hand. He had stabbed the prince.

The kid begs for mercy as Technoblade is led out of the room, quickly down the hall with King Theseus's arm carefully over his shoulder. He is pushed into the Physician's office, who is very surprised to see a knife sticking out of a teen's back. Technoblade is made to lay down. He is given an anesthetic.

He tries to argue with King Theseus about him being the Prince, which is hard with the drugs. King Theseus is just giggling while playing with his hair. Techno makes noises of discontent whenever he is so far gone that he can't make words.

The King assures Techno that even if he finds the King annoying at first, he will learn to love him.

And then Techno spends way too much time trying to run, only for Tommy to find him wherever he hides. The King is Stream-sniping or something. I just have to get back to work so I can't keep fleshing it out. But yeah. King Theseus is going to be VERY possessive of Technoblade.

Anyways, sometimes you gotta make Tommy older. As a treat.

I'm so fucking obsessed with this one, Lenn, you don't understand, it's just dsqhqsdqdskjdssdqHsqkjsqqshqjskhqsksq. I kept needing to stop while reading it to flap my hands with happy stims.

The potential? Techno being so, so hostile and every little act of resistance he shows just makes Tommy coo over him like "aw, that's so Techno of you <3"

Tommy is going to be real obsessed with making up for lost time. Techno has suffered so much without him. He'll need to ascertain Techno has the best, most spoiled life from now on. Whether he wants to or not.

[brucewaynehater101]

Oh I was absolutely going with them Jason Finds Out During TT route. I think it would be especially funny if he's heard horror stories from Rouges and his own Henchmen that Robin The Third is some kind of demon that Batman summoned on accident. There are some rumors about how the demon feeds off of grief or anger or vengeance because it's illusions of being g a human are stronger when the Bat is there so *clearly* it is taking its power *from* the Bat. Others say that Nightwing summoned it so that it would keep Bruce on a leash without the first Robin having to come back. Some say it was some person in Gothem who did it or that it was the combined form of the many curses on the city.

All Jason knows is that when his replacement turned around, it's head luled to the side just an inch or two, like a puppet on strings that had to much slack on that one string. Jason manages to shoot one of its arms but instead of a spray of blood, it is broken shards of porcelain and sand. His hits feel like he's punching a solid wall but some do leave visible cracks in Tim. This Thing in a Robin Costume could not ever be human. He knows because when he left, he took a handful of sand in a vile to see if he could figure out what it is. Jason still has that vile to this day, the only proof he has that Tim isn't a human. Sometimes he will set it on a flat surface and watch the sand in it make it slowly roll towards whatever direction Tim is in.

As for how he heals, that's to the magic that animates him, all Tim needs to do is hold his pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle and after a few moments the piece he's holding will weld itself back into place. Also his sand will slowly come back to him, attracted like a magnet and he can tell where all his sand in instinctually. He let's Jason keep the vial of it as it's basically an unhacklable Jason Tracker. The sand isn't fast at moving towards him, roughly about the pace of a snail or sloth. It's certainly moving but just getting from downtown to the Batcave could take his sand a week. Also the pull isn't super strong, gaining about as much force as a particularly stubborn ant.

Ras took half a pound of Tim's sand instead of his spleen and Tim would very much like his sand back.

As for Cass knowing, she 100% does. Tim has shown her his true gorm and when she asked why he didn't show the others, Tim replied, "they wouldn't understand. They would worry over things that aren't problems and try to fix things I already fixed and end up breaking those things."

Eventually the Bats must find out though, and when Dick asks if that means they need to do special things to keep Tim from dying to Magic Users, Tim laughs and laughs like Dick has told the funniest joke in the world. When he calms down, he asks a question of his own, "Dick. How could I possibly die if I have never been alive in the first place? I am simply an object enchanted to move and speak. I am no more alive that the AI Babs uses to scan the internet for pictures of us. I am no more alive than a character in a video game. At most, at *most* I can be compared to some of Ivy's plants that she uses to attack us. I can not be killed for I have never been alive. Broken, yes, but that I can fix. I simply have to be put back together like a jigsaw puzzle."

Oof. Poor Dick is going to have to figure out how to feel about that statement. Tim not being alive at all and comparing himself to a video game or AI might fuck with Dick's sense of self, sentience, etc. I would love to see how they all logic, cope, and understand identity after this.

I do love the idea that the sand tries to make its way back to Tim, but he knows where it is at all times. Jason has an estimated location of Tim (N, S, E, W), but Tim has like coordinates.

I wonder if Cass would try dancing with Tim. Since his movements are different, perhaps she would enjoy learning to dance in a way that's similar to how he moves? It could be eerie and fun for her.

I'm curious how Ra's would feel about Tim and his sand in this. Why did he keep the sand? Does it look distinct from other sand? Was it just cause it was part of Tim and Ra's thought he might be able to use it? Also, does he attempt that shit he did with his Nyssa since Tim probably can't reproduce?

[elbiotipo]

Some scattered thoughts about worldbuilding in Genshin Impact

Mondstadt is tiny compared to all the other* regions of Teyvat, though the city itself is big. However, what's really interesting to me is how close it is to Liyue, which is huge. I joke with my friend that one of the best and funniest things about Genshin is when you first start and after a while the game tells you "you wanna go to China bro? It's just south by that road" and you go and you're indeed in Liyue, no problem, it's so easy.

However, in realistic terms this makes me curious about how a small nation like Mondstadt next to Liyue would develop in realistic terms. The contrast between European-inspired Mondstadt and Chinese-inspired Liyue is striking... however, the thing is, they're just a road trip away, and not even a big road like the Silk Road, they're just next to each other. There are no major geographical barriers like with the other nations of Teyvat. And people like Xiangling do cross the border like nothing all the time, so it means there must be lots of contact between them. There also seem not to be any linguistic differences or barriers, but every RPG ignores that so I'll do it too.

What I mean is that Mondstadt should probably have a LOT more influence from Liyue than what we see in-game. This is especially interesting given that historically China (and Liyue is obviously a stand-in for China) has influenced the nations and cultures around it and they have influenced it too. I would imagine this would be the same for Mondstadt.

So it would be fun to imagine Mondstadt to have some more influences from Liyue. You kind of see this in game sometimes, but it might be more obvious in the architecture, in the dress, maybe more subtle things like spirituality or the organization of the knights of Favonius. Not a complete copy of Liyue, of course, but its own unique thing with lots of influence from it adapted to its geography, environment and people. And also, given that it's the "City of Freedom", it always sounded like the real-life city states of Italy or more like Germany to it. It also fits, since it seems to be a major city-state strong on its own (though unlike Liyue, you don't see a big port, and historically that's how big trading cities were born... however, well, there's teleporting in Genshin, so we should ignore that), something like Venice, in fact, a city in the middle of a lake screams Venice. Interesting to think about the Venetian Republic or the Hanseatic League right next to China. How would that develop?

*of course I know the real-world answer: Mondstadt is intended to be the "starter town" and it was probably the first to be developed, and as the developers got more confident they added bigger and bigger regions until we got the bloated, I mean beautiful, mess Teyvat is today.

[starflungwaddledee]

[moeblob]

Alright I told someone I would give propaganda for these two so here we go. As a warning, I didn't play mobile or Re-Mind soooooooo. Yeah there's that. I know they're apparently involved in past stuff but shhh.

So first off, everyone's weapon is super useful! Except theirs. Which I always thought was really funny? Even in Re:CoM Zexion's book was more direct than these two. I really enjoyed them just as the most indirect fighters? And figured they'd be pretty chill and after playing KH2 as a kid I'm like. I think Luxord would be most tolerable to music while vibing. He could play Solitaire or something while Demyx played music and possibly chatted. Therefore, my younger self was like "it's perfect".

ALSO CONSIDERING THEIR NUMBERS! And the line in KH3 during the scene where Demyx is like "yup I got benched", they've probably got a history. However, the number they get originally is supposed to be the order they joined. So with Marluxia and Larxene obviously tied together in the past, all I can think of is these two just being absolute bums wandering around pre-Organization and just hitch hiking their way into a cult. Which is also REALLY funny to me because what if they joined at the same time but Demyx got to be IX and Luxord is X.

Demyx would hold his rank over his head for the dumbest stuff (in my head canons of the past).

Like there's so many things we specifically do not know about these two so basically, until I'm proven absolutely incorrect in game (which might have happened and I just don't know) ! I think they'd be a good match.

And I mean, it's also just (gestures) LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE. Great designs and I think that's good enough for me!

[garunsdottir]

lord aldhelm’s wardrobe 6/?

[aro-attorneys]

no but listen what really gets me about wrightworth is the comfort of it. it doesn't even need to be regarded as a romantic ship (there's so many ways to interpret their relationship anyway) in order to understand why they gravitate to the other.

every time i see wrightworth art where they simply exist. simple live together and make coffee in the morning and eat lunch somewhere and all the other mundane everyday things, i can't help but think "finally, they can just be, after everything".

their journey was so long and complicated that them being in the same room, at peace, for more than 5 minutes is so meaningful. they fought for that moment of peace. to simply be in the other's presence.

[redrockbutch]

The thing I hate the most about Christmas is that it has the simplest, most obvious holiday gimmick ever (give and get presents) but the Christmas Lovers™ just. Refuse to accept that this could possibly be a factor in why people who aren't children like Christmas over other holidays like sorry but you live across the street from your parents I dont believe that you literally only ever see your family But One Day A Year on Christmas, so the whole "I just love being with family uwu" schtick is so fucking transparent just say you like presents!!! Just say it!

"Oh the strange mystical unnameable magic of Christmas..."

Yeah that's presents and enforced Christianity and it's never been mystical or strange

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Megumi’s life in ur “tsumiki and megumi are seperated” AU is super fucked. Does Gojo secretly put him on supervillain watch. Does he try to give him the worst counselling anyone has ever seen.

Worse he keeps trying to become Megumi’s New Dad and Megumi cannot emphasize enough how much he does not want him to do this. Why does Gojo keep asking him to throw a baseball with him. Why does he keep trying to ruffle his hair.

[akkivee]

THEY PUT THE MONK BACK IN A CHRISTMAS OUTFIT LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[aria0fgold]

There's this new trend happening in the former bird app where people show how long it'd take for a character to apologize by drawing the head and a line connecting to an apology at the end. And honestly, I'm not good at keeping up with trends but this one is fairly easy to do so!

Good timing too cuz I've been thinking bout the scenario of Alec and Ray arguing so I took this chance to do my own spin on the trend!

Also this is what Ray said for easy reading (and for better viewing cuz it's pretty hard to do bold and italic on a single word in ibis):

"Can't you be a little selfish for once?! Can't you at least just THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT CARES ABOUT YOU?! Think about your parents! Think about your siblings! THINK ABOUT ME! IT! HURTS! Every single time you go to who knows where, it hurts! My chest tightens so much and my mind is filled with so much worry at whatever the FUCK you're doing and I don't! I don't even know where you are, WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

And the thought of opening that damn door to someone telling me you're in critical condition or worst yet-- dead-- HURTS! SO MUCH!"

[termagax]

having a comic idea in my brain but i dont wanna get up and sketch it but i cant write it in the way i want to because i am cursed to think in pictures but i cant. draw it rn.

[moeblob]

Pen doodles from yesterday and then digital for today

Katale and Rudyard but as little crime babies. Since he's known her for a while and just thought she looked like a little street thug despite being higher ranking than him in the crime organization at first, the cat-ear hairstyle was just A Thing for her. And it spawned the nickname he would use in private of "Kitty" and even when she grows her hair out and he grays even more he still calls her Kitty in private. They're literally just bffs who do crime and what more can you want of them??

[mymarifae]

this is literally so fucking funny. someone PLEASE save nene

[sea-jello]

one thing i find really funny about watching singing videos is when they have a long note so they just have their mouths open for like a solid 5 seconds and the longer i stare at them the weirder human faces look