#somebody please just give this man a vacation

[starreduste]

Thought the Tumblr crowd might enjoy this, lmao

[mosaickiwi]

Little "Love" Notes

Angel should really tell someone if they think somebody’s breaking in but instead they do… this? For some reason.

very good idea

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Quiet and quick as could be, [REDACTED] slowly opened your window by the fire escape. He climbed in carefully, a little astonished that you still weren’t bothering to lock it after all these months. Their boots hardly made a sound as he took practiced steps over the hardwood floor of your apartment and headed straight to the kitchen. He didn’t need to see to know which floorboards would creak or groan underfoot.

Just as they expected, the usual sight that had him even more excited to go on his now almost nightly break-ins was there to greet him. A handful of hastily scrawled, bright pink sticky notes were slapped across various surfaces.

At some point or another you'd gotten sick of things going missing. Sure, most of them turned up after a while—and always right where you thought you'd left them—but even still it annoyed you. So you started leaving silly messages for your supposed burglar. He chose to read them as love notes.

“Don't take anything in here you BITCH I'll be so mad!!” screamed one from its place on a kitchen cabinet. Your writing there was a little illegible from how fast you surely wrote it, but he found it endearing.

Another, on the side of some faded plastic-ware read, “I made these cookies for a friend but a lot of them came out wrong. You may have the burnt ones.”

“Give that ugly red shirt back it doesn't belong to me.” That was the last one he could find in the room for now, left on top of the counter next to the notepad and pen you always used.

As much as he wished to, the hacker usually didn’t respond for fear of confirming your needless worries. They'd never want to harm you like a real burglar. But he always followed the instructions when he could. And he could do some of those tonight.

Since you'd so nicely asked, he left the bottom cabinet alone. They already knew what you kept in there anyway. He wouldn’t tell a soul.

He took a few burnt cookies out of the container left on the counter—not enough that you'd notice. Some to eat once he left, and one to keep. It was another thing you offered up to him, after all. 

But the sorry excuse of a shirt that your (worst) childhood friend had left behind was long gone. [REDACTED] had already given it a much needed vacation to the bottom of Lake Bluemoss, along with some other items that Leon had dared to leave among your belongings.

With the notes in the kitchen mostly taken care of, he set off towards your laundry closet. Only to find the small sliding door in the hallway closed shut with a note of its own smack dab in the middle. 

“Please don't take my comfy clothes anymore :c I know you always give them back but it'll be getting cold soon!! You don’t want me freezing in the middle of the night, do you? Won't you forgive me? Pretty please? ♥ ♥”

Mind going a mile a minute, [REDACTED] had to read your beautiful handwriting again and again as if decoding a different language. Those tiny, black inked hearts at the end of the note were all he could understand in the moment. Your sweetly written, pleading love letter finally sunk in once he managed to shake away the haze you’d unknowingly swept him into.

This one was a risk that he was willing to take. Of course they wanted you to be comfortable. He gently peeled the note off so it wouldn’t tear, and folded it away to tuck into his jeans.

Then, the dark haired man began to tug his favorite hoodie up and over his shoulders.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

You lazily pulled the folding door open in search of a blanket. It was just a little bit colder for some reason when you woke up this morning, so you needed something to keep you cozy while you waited for Violet to come over later that afternoon. You reached up to the middle shelf where you normally kept extra blankets, but something just below it caught your eye.

A huge, black hoodie sat folded on top of the pile of clean towels you forgot to take care of days ago.

You didn't recognize it, but it had to belong to one of your friends, right? They all formed a habit of leaving stuff with you once you moved back to town. Jae still hadn’t picked up the roller skates he got for Maple—they were only used the one time.

Ignoring the blanket you meant to grab, you picked up the hoodie and slipped it on. The giant thing practically swallowed you, sleeves enveloping your hands and the hem falling well past your hips. The garish horror design that decorated its front didn't seem to be anything your friends were into, either.

But it was warmer than you thought possible. Plus, it smelled nice, like cherries and a little familiar comfort of something you couldn't place. Whoever it belonged to surely wouldn't mind if you kept it for a while.

You didn't bother to spare it another thought and hurried off to check the kitchen. Hopefully the cookies you'd painstakingly baked yesterday were still there.

[thehauntedetheral]

That, “After all I am just a girl 🎀”, sent me! LOL! It’s such a fat fucking mood I have 24/7

So follow up request, how about a Hyper/Extreme Masculine Man x Hyper/Extreme Feminine Woman Reader

Give me someone who is wholesomely sexist that is so damn fine that the red flags start to look green

Hello! Thank you for your love. Glad that you liked my work. I hope you like my writing. This is my first time writing something like this so please be kind. I hope you love this. Enjoy!

Yandere Sexist X Reader

Requests are open!

• You and yan dated throughout the college and after graduation he proposed you. You were madly, irrevocably and passionately in love with him.

• Yan Husband who is a toxic sexist who is a excellent manipulator. He tells you after marriage how his parents were a traditional gender role household meaning husband being the bread winner and leader of house while wife being a good pretty house wife. He wants to try it. You were reluctant at first but after enough manipulation and sugar coating you agreed. After all this man is an excellent manipulator.

"Baby please just try it for me. If you don't feel good after doing this for a month we will stop it. You had been working so hard throughout the college. You can relax a bit by this and can also take a break and get the time to do all those hobbies and stuff you were interested in doing but couldn't due to college work. We have just got married why so eager for a job? Settle down have some rest. I have a very good paying job to provide for both baby. Please try this for me love?" He would say while holding your face delicately in his hand and looking at you with his gorgeous hazel eyes.

• You slowly started to delve into it. Baking, cooking meals, taking care of him and house and decorating, doing household chores, gardening vegetables, beautiful flowers and loving it.

• He was slowly brainwashing you into his little pretty house wife without you knowing.

"Baby you don't have to think about anything I will take care of everything. Hmm? You know I love you and will take care of you."

• You were a definition of hyper feminine now. Long forgotten your old ambitious about your career self in college.

• Pretty Ribbons in your long hairs, delicate cute dresses, High heels, make up on, hosting parties for his colleagues, shopping, baking, reading, trying new recipes, doing house chores while waiting for your husband to come home were now part of your daily routine.

• Yan and you you would go out for dinners and if somebody looked at you a little long he would break their bones. After all you were his wife and wouldn't allow a weird creep to stare at you.

• He was the provider and you were his pink pretty princess housewife whom he loves to dead.

• Will shower you with gifts like vacations, jewellery, dresses.

• Yan Husband who is dominant in your married life and in bed.

• Yan Husband who is a toxic manipulator sexist who will make you totally dependent on you to make sure you don't run away from him ever.

"You need me baby as much as I need you. I am your husband I know what is best for us."

"You contribute to the household by taking care of me so good which helps me to do my job properly and soon you will be the mother of our beautiful children, darling."

• Looking at his handsome face with beautiful eyes oozing masculine energy always made you forget everything.

• You know your husband is always right and will take care of you.

Requests are open!

For more yandere reading:

[evilminji]

:T Hello there, Thought(tm) of the day...

I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?

Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.

W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??

You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?

They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.

..........I bet they're the wooooorst~~✨️

No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.

Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.

Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.

They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.

Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.

They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.

Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?

Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!

*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*

Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.

Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.

Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~!

But THEN!

They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.

Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.

Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...

Just... impossible.

There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.

NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?

...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?

How?

Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).

They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.

It's traumatizing for everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!

And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.

Somethings telling him not too.

It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.

But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.

Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."

Huh?

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj

[leondickrider]

relationship headcanons | leon s kennedy x gn!reader

💭 . . . hiii, so i moved to this account from my old account @movedoopsie so this an updated version of both of my old relationship headcanons posts and nsfw post (with some new bonus headcanons hehe) (‘. • ᵕ •. `)

before reading: fluff, suggestive, nsfw marked, some are sad bc i love making leon suffer ₍ᐡ｡っ ̫-｡ᐡ₎ not proofread | warnings: cursing, substance abuse mentioned | wc 2.1k

love with him kinda gives me and your mama by childish gambino but very much guns and roses by lana del rey 🎀

ONE THING I FORGOT TO MENTION IN MY ORIGINAL POSTS: television heaven by lana del rey is so re2make leon coded !!!! and maybe perhaps starry eyed... just maybe...

it's canon that he listens to rock (refer to re2r opening) but I'm sure he would listen to alternative and hip hop

btw, to the spotify playlist makers, he would never listen to mother mother he is quite literally born in the 70s

also i doubt he would actually listen to lana del rey, but if he did he would listen to ultraviolence ₍ᐢ.”⚇.”ᐢ₎

when he's frustrated, he'll mutter curses under his breath like it's so sexy and hot and pussy soddening or dick hardening (I don't have a dick idk how it works)

he loves when you wear long, flowy dresses or shirts, especially if they are in white. if you get it you get it

he would like white clothes on you since white typically represents like purity and cleanliness. and with all the stuff he's been through and it's just comforting

his favorite colors are blue and green tho

he's a good kisser 10/10

leon definitely replies with the driest things ever over text. like you could say "hey baby I love you <3 be careful at work" and he'll say "Ok love you." and he uses the period too

also replies with 👍, 👎, 😀 and 😍

when you are both going to sleep at the same time, he will scratch your back out of habit, even if he falls asleep you will feel his hand making circular motions on your back

he's the lightest sleeper ever. he wakes up if you shift in bed too fast, if you make any unusual sound, literally wakes up so easily and this leads to him being very sleepy :(

he would want 2 kids so they aren't lonely. he wouldn't ever want his kids to feel the loneliness he felt as an orphan

he's a girl dad but if he had a son then you already know that kid is going to be a carbon copy of his dad

sometimes he comes home really drunk and he leans all over you, kissing you all over and saying how much he loves you and stuff and then he cries and then falls asleep

when he goes fishing or hunting or camping he always drags you along for it even if you complain

he looks like he goes camping like every season as the vacation he so desperately asks for 24/7

he doesn't understand text abbreviations. he's like a victorian child. he says "LOL" and doesn't even know what it means. "leon I'm feeling really sick, bring me some soup please" "Ok LOL."

he also replies really slowly to texts sometimes, it's not even on purpose he is just has no clue how to iphone

during missions, he has those cute lil kitten sneezes (like in re4r) but at home this man forces them to be obnoxiously loud because it always makes you giggle

and his hearts melts a little every time you giggle. your laughter is like his favorite sound in the whole wide world

he gets home at unholy hours of the night usually, so he usually just goes to the bedroom, gives you a kiss on your forehead or cheek while you're asleep and takes a quick shower before sleeping

however on nights where you wait for him to get home he is taken by surprise when you fling yourself into his arms when he enters

when be walks in he'll be like "sono a casa..." really quietly

yeah he learned a little italian bc he's like a mafioso son basically so he decided "why not just learn italian and make my girlfriend swoon over it?" il mio king

he's incredibly insecure in relationships. he thinks you deserve better than him, somebody who can be there for you without fail and isn't heavily traumatized

when you're sick he will literally do everything for you, he doesn't let you do anything until you're better

even when you aren't sick he does everything, he justa bit more lenient

hero complex ofc, he loves being there to 'save you' even if it's just helping you get something off the top shelf or helping you zip up a dress or a shirt

always puts his bed by you in minecraft even tho he has no idea how to play :3

also, loves bear hugging you. but he also does those hugs where he lifts you up completely and spins you around a little

if you where in raccoon city with him he would do the spinning hug the second you were finally safe

when he's feeling really affectionate (usually when he's a lil tipsy) he'll tell you things like "sei tutto il mio mondo" and "sei la metà della mia mela" (this is so cute if you also love apples)

he's a heavyweight this man can handle his alcohol, so if you get drunk easy like me, then yea he's def got you covered

doesn't let anybody he doesn't trust near you when you're drunk

also, even when he's drunk he's very protective. he's actually more protective

he is really good at comforting you when you need it but often pushes you away when you need it :(

sometime he will disappear for long periods of times. and he cuts off all contact. but eventually you will get a call from somebody like chris, claire, etc. that leon was drinking and they were bringing him home

he goes through cycles of highs where he stops drinking and lows where he drinks excessively (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

sometimes he'll send you random selfies when he gets service or random texts like "Hi." and tbh it scared the shit out of you to just get a random Hi when he's in the middle of like the desert a few times

he isn't really good with physical affection, he'll give you awkward hugs and hold your hands but he's just very awkward in general so...

but if we're talking cute re2make leon then omfg hugs 24/7 he will not keep his hands off you

he isn't really into pda bc he's shy about it, he will hold your hand and maybe give you an awkward side hug but that's really it unless it's one of those special occasions lmfao

this is kind of random but when he's alone he likes to look at old pictures of you both and just reminisce on the past ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

re2make leon the typa guy to play just dance with you

maybe re4make if he's in love enough (he is)

his style is actually really good so he ALWAYS looks so good next to you (refer to casual leon model) 🐩

he sings in the shower sometimes

he likes to take showers with you since it's relaxing when you wash his hair since you have like soft hands and not his big thick meaty manly leather beefy hands

falls asleep with light piano music and rain audios in the background 😭

his instagram is basically a fanpage for you. always appreciating you!! "My s/o took this." "Date night night with s/o." "Imagine not having the prettiest bestest amazingest s/o ever."

he and ada are mutuals, this is his revenge for ghosting him lol

takes you on picnic dates a lot

for people with periods, he is like so good with helping you woth getting tampons/pads, getting medicine, etc etc

his ideal house with you would be one of those stereotypical white american family suburb houses (he's so american i'll never let him live down calling luis 'lewis' 😭)

he pledge allegiance to the flag he is a PATRIOT🇺🇸

he spoils the hell out of you !!!! you look at a dress twice? magically in your closet the next day. you look at a pretty necklace that costs more than a car? he already got it

government paycheck

when he was 21 he dreamed of having a really normal life with you. a normal house, normal cars, 2 kids, a dog, all these other totally normal things

he does not get the normal life lol

nsfw

he is very territorial, he definitely marks you up in spots that are very visible and harder to hide

he isn't really picky about what lingerie you wear but if you wear white sets with little blue or pink ribbons then you got your work cut out for you

he's very romantic during sex. on anniversaries he'll even get rose petals and candles in you're into that kinda stuff lol

had to buy a whole different phone just for videos/photos of you both because his phone has a ton of work things and he didn't want to risk accidentally sending the wrong picture to the wrong person

when he gets back from missions that were very stressful and got him pent up then sex is way rougher than usual

he is definitely into worshipping your body. he'll tell you how beautiful you are and kiss every inch if your skin that he can

sometime he'll also say some italian things to you while you do the deed like "sei molto bella"

when he's horny he'll tell you "mi ecciti così tanto"

although, italian bedroom talk is kinda cringe sometimes so he usually sticks to english

he is definitely very experienced, he's been with several women, usually one night stands. but we do also know he had a girlfriend before resi 2 so there's that

he would prefer sex stays in the bedroom, or the house at least

he probably gets pleasure from making you get pleasure. like just from eating you out he will... yea

as i said before, territorial 😊

one of his sexual fantasies is fucking you while he's on a mission but he probably wouldn't want to take that risk bc like zombies

it's not rare to have quickies in the mornings

he's big like maybe 6 or 7 inches? he may not have a könig bulge but he's absolutely packing

dirty talk. says things like "y'like that princess?" "that feel good?" "i know you like it baby" "you feel so girl pretty girl" "look at me lovie" when you close ur eyes

man is a freak (refer to THAT clip from death island)

however, sex with him is usually really vanilla simply because he is too tired from all these missions to be doing all that

when it's not vanilla he's a switch simply bc I know it. he'll let you take the reins from time to time, but he is always the one in control if we're being fr

also i'm pretty sure he's top leaning because like... the shit he's been through?? he'd want a little control over something and having control in bed makes him feel really powerful

he still likes to bottom tho lol

he also calls u mommy or daddy or master or mistress if u a freaky freak lol

loves brat taming!!!!!

he likes to hold your hand while having sex

enjoys morning sex lots, especially the morning after he returns from a mission. he's too exhausted the night of returning, so he wakes up early and fucks you

love love loves missionary bc he gets to look at your face and he can just look down to see him yk thrusting (goodbye i hate this word)

i will say tho sometimes he will say the most outlandish things like "i wanna pump so many babies into you that we repopulate raccoon city" but it's ok bc it's leon

loves white sets on you (refer to 8)

sooo good with after care!!! if you need something he will do it or get it. want a snack? he's grabbing it. want a nice warm bubble bath? he's running the water and grabbing the soap for bubbles

spoils you with aftercare tbh.... after him you really cannot ever get better aftercare

very vocal, lots of whimpers and whines coming from him

really good with his hands, I mean look at the way he handles guns. i'm sure his hands come in handy in more ways than just flipping a gun around

amazing with his tongue and mouth as well 🎀

he love love loves when u sit on his face !!!

when you give him head he likes to rub your scalp and he makes the most attractive noises ever

he owns a couple toys. he def owns a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs

he probably has no preference to if you're shaved or not when he's older

but when he's younger he prefers it shaved or trimmed cuz he lives between your legs and it gets a bit annoying getting hair in his mouth 😭

(i'm sorry if all the nsfw seems aimed towards afab people, I literally have no idea how to write for amab but i'm trying to spoil everybody...)

౨ৎ translations "sono a casa" i'm home; "il mio [re]" my king; "sei tutto il mio mondo" you are my whole world; "sei la metà della mia mela" you are half of my apple; "sei molto bella" you're very beautiful; "mi eciti così tanto" you're turning me on | please correct me if any of this is wrong since i rarely speak to my italian friends and family and i don't say these things to them. i had to research :)

reblogs and replies appreciated always <3

leon kennedy masterlist

[godofdumpsterfalling]

Headcanon Dump - Hermes & Apollo ft. Dionysus (Riordanverse)

Because I have a mountain of these and if I don’t organize them they will be completely incoherent. Under a cut for length.

- Apollo basically raised Hermes, for all the value of “raised” when concerning gods.

- Maia did not want to be a mother, and had no idea how to. She tried, and did care about Hermes, but was secretly relieved when Hermes took to following Apollo everywhere. Zeus was really perfecting his parenting style of the day, which was caring about his kids from a distance (he had other priorities, they were not really near the top) and occasionally popping in to give some Fatherly Advice or have bonding moment (omg taking his kids fishing…deadbeat dad core for REAL) before fucking off again like “parental control duties DONE I am SUCH a good dad. See you again in like 50 years, sport!” It was particularly bad when Hermes was born.

- Hermes followed Apollo around for a solid couple hundred years, acting as his shadow pretty much. It drove Athena and Artemis CRAZY. Apollo’s extroverted ass was completely baffled by people being off put by his baby brother basically being attached to his back. He’s not gonna bother you he’s just gonna hang out?? What’s the problem??

- Hermes stayed in a younger form for a looong time because he knew Apollo would never say no to him if he looked cute enough. Until he got hit with the depression beam, he kept whipping that form out whenever he got in trouble. He’s baby, your honor, you can’t be mad at a BABY

- Hermes held Dionysus for 2 seconds before he decided he was willing to die for this little guy. The couple hours after he was born were spent by Hermes holding him up to random family members and going “LOOK AT HIM HES SO SMALL” and the family members going “Hermes please do your job”

- When Dionysus joined Olympus, Hermes eagerly took him under his wing in a similar manner to Apollo taking on Hermes. Not as much weird parental responsibility though. But he was still following Apollo everywhere so Apollo got TWO mischievous shadows. Much to Artmemis’ dismay. Why are there TWO OF THEM

- All they ever had to do was duck behind Apollo and he’d defend them against whoever they’d pissed off now even when they were 100% in the wrong. Especially when they were 100% in the wrong, honestly.

- Zeus and Hermes’ relationship has a lot of layers (a post for another time) but the bare bones basics is that early on Zeus just thought he was a Clown (that’s my funny boy <3) and nowadays he’s Zeus’ under appreciated, overworked personal assistant. Although he’s kind of been Zeus’ lapdog since the beginning. Father Please Notice Me I am not as shiny as Apollo but I can roll over so nice pls pls pls

- Hermes has not had a nap in the past century somebody please help him. Give your local delivery man a nice tip because he has like 20 other domains and would rather be doing Literally Anything Else. And also a hug maybe, the most contact he ever gets is when he brushes hands with whoever he’s giving a package. Somebody get this man a paid vacation he has been holding Olympus together with duct tape

- Hermes has the worst case of Middle Child Syndrome Known To Man

- Hermes and Artemis like each other! Shockingly. For reasons unrelated to Apollo, even. They just like to hang out. Hermes is one of the two Olympians she’s happy to be around <3

- Apollo has tried, with varying success, to get Hermes and Athena to be friends. The results have been… mixed.

- Athena, Apollo and Hermes will occasionally have absolutely legendary verbal smackdowns. So brutal that it would actually evaporate a mortal on the spot. Indescribable, really. Anyone who overhears them will never mentally recover,

[im-out-of-it]

HAPPY ALEC RANT: MAINLY SHOW ALEC (KINDA BOOK ALEC) BUT HOW HAS MY BOY NOT HAD A MILLION MENTAL BREAKDOWNS?????? CHEERS TO MY MAN ALEC FOR KEEPING HIS SHIT TOGETHER

seriously alec puts up with sooooo much shit. he’s always saving jaces worthless ass, Maryse and Robert are always on him for “family honor”, jace is always yelling at him when clary goes missing as if he can be held responsible for her, and poor soul is just so unhappy

book Alec: not going to mention the writing because it’s so atrocious and ah shit, I already did!!!! seriously, Alec gets treated badly by jace mostly all throughout the series. Alec constantly has to save his life in every book. he’s made to feel that he needs to come out. even Magnus (WHY MAGNUS) is pushing Alec to come out and coming after A TEENAGE ALEC. I feel like Alec is simply not happy basically throughout the whole TMI series. he’s made to be biphobic, acting as though Magnus can’t have a past, tries to make Magnus mortal (ALEC WOULD NEVER), and dude can’t even be his own person without thinking of jace. he’s so badly written and cc has damaged his character so much. I genuinely hope in my world, he’s more like show Alec and living his best and carefree healthy life with Magnus 🥰

show Alec: MY FAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! his parents are on him for saving the family honor and reputation (because of fucking clary ew), then Maryse gets mad after Alec finally chooses for himself, jace is always using him and expecting Alec to drop everything and save him, clary does the same and doesn’t care about the rules just what she wants. Lydia was such a small character and I know some don’t like her but at least she was nice towards Alec.

honestly in majority of the first season, everyone is yelling or getting shitty with Alec. I’m sorry but this man is so reasonable and lenient. he has let a ton of shit fly!!!! if I was in charge of the institute, I would’ve shipped clarys annoying ass off somewhere else. sorry but not my problem 💀 and the way jace treats Alec is unforgivable. I really wanted Alec to give in and go off completely. I’m glad he stands up for himself cause boy did not have the honor to do it in the books. we know we get the “I’m not your bitch” line but let’s be honest, Alec isn’t his own person.

I’m just amazed he never went completely unhinged. Magnus, Lydia, Izzy (mostly) are probably the only people who are nice to Alec and don’t treat him badly. a little bit of Simon too!!!!! Alec seriously deserved a huge vacation after season one. I’m amazed he stuck by jaces side after all jace did. let that fucker die and stay dead, please!!! IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT LMAO

just major props to Alec for not losing his shit and being one of the best characters ever. I can see why Matt is so proud of Alec and whoever changed show Alec and made him better, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

because what the fuck was it with jace saying “oh Alec will be here.” like Alec has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be involved with all the missions clary is trying to accomplish (bitch there are rules wtf), resulting in his family’s reputation, Izzy being almost reduned. he expects Alec to do whatever he says. and then when ms. I don’t care about the rules so I’ll run away does indeed run away, jace says Alec isn’t doing his best. might I add, is crossing the line. Alec has done so much for you, you ungrateful unworthy ass!!!!!! somebody needed to beat this child I swear

he gets to be happy with Magnus and actually shows what a healthy and fun relationship is. tries to change the relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters. MAKING HISTORY!! is probably the best leader ever in my opinion. he’s just out here thriving

also wish they would’ve kept his sassiness throughout the seasons. imagine his range and sass please. WE NEEDED IT

[universitysunflowers]

I rewatched Merlin for the first time in years and collected my thoughts.

Merlin was such a baby in the first season I forget just how tiny and innocent he was.

The number of times Merlin has been suspected of witchcraft and then got out of it is so hilarious like yea here’s this actual wizard but don’t worry he’s been cleared of all charges nothing to worry about here haha

accused by the witchfinder

sentenced to death as old man sorcerer

straight up confessing to Uther in order to save Gwen

Gaius is to old for this

Sir Leon puts up with so much shit from the Pendragon family

Somebody please give him a vacation he does not get paid enough for this (having to tell his boss that he married a troll was a real low point you can see him losing the will to live)

He's running on three hours of sleep and six cups of coffee

Corrie guard commander Fox reincarnated as a knight of Camelot (working for a maniacal tyrant in the most dramatic political court the world has ever seen will take a lot out of you)

King Cenred is the medieval embodiment of the King of Hybern like that is exactly how I imagine him when I read ACOTAR (Tom Ellis, as always, was a great casting choice)

Freya deserved better Ik she had to die to keep the Excalibur storyline going but she could have been such a great character (merlin was so sad bring his gf back poor baby)

Lancelot my wholesome baby you are to precious for this world you deserved so much better

I can't explain it but I just know Gwaine would have done well on book tok

Ok I know Morgana was a terrible queen and burned the crops but honestly props to her for paying attention to the paperwork

I can’t tell if Agravaine looked at Morgana like a daughter or if he was falling in love with her and honestly both are very disturbing to me.

Aithusa is the most adorable dragon look at his little face Ik he gets attached to Morgana but seriously I can’t not love him.

seeing him so beaten and abused is so sad please get him some help

We should have seen more of him with Merlin

How Kilgharra hasn't cooked Merlin like a costco roast chicken is beyond me, this dragon must have some sort of immortality driven godlike patience in order to put up with that boy as long as he has.

Gaius please get a hair cut

I’m a few episodes into season five and I hit that point where I know what’s coming and it’s making me not want to finish the show. I don’t want to but I feel like I should.

I crapped out. I made it to the episode where Gwen uses the stable boy to try and kill Arthur and then never finished the season. I knew this was going to happen I haven't made it all the way through the series in years. If I ever make it through the end of season five again I'll be sure to give my thoughts but for now I've fallen back into a Gossip Girl rewatch.

Sometimes I forgot to write things then wrote it down later so it might be out of order but whatever enjoy my musings.

[halfetirosie]

▼✧♦ "Enter this contest!" they said. "It'll be fun!" they said. ♦✧▼

(Exercise 21 - 24 React-os!)

1) WILSONNNN!!!!!

Yes, I know I already made this joke, but I don't care. (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Funny coincidence tho; Cast Away was actually playing on T.V a few days ago! I of course had to watch it---I realized I haven't actually watched it in probably over 8 years---and it's a good-ass movie, ya'll!!! If you ever get the chance to watch it, you should!!!!

I also think it's neat that Eiden has canonically seen Cast Away...Or at least, he's aware of its existence through memes.

2) Fuckin hell bro, Quincy is so endearing, I can't handle it!!!!

It's so Dad Energy™ to zonk out at the beach and get buried in the sand, tbh. ♡

And Eiden's really living up to his Little Devil nickname! 😈

3) Premium Sooley + 🐾 Cat Dad Dante 🐾 content!!!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dante: "Ha, look at you guys playing around! Pathetic!"

Dante: *Is literally playing with his cat*

Now watch, Dante's gonna claim this isn't "playing" but is just training Sooley to get used to the water---

PFFFT!!!! (≧∇≦) Called it!!!!

I mean, you do know it can be both playing and training, right, bub? 😅

He's such a prideful little stinker!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

4) GUYS, IN THE AUDIO AT THIS PART

🚨🚨🚨DANTE LAUGHS!!!!!!🚨🚨🚨

*Obnoxious squealing*

*Swoons so hard I fall down the fucking stairs*

*static*

🎶 We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait for us to fix the problem. Thank you for your patience. 🎶

🎶🎶🎶

🎶🎶🎶

*static*

Dante is seriously having so much this event, and it's such a joy to see!!! This dude might have been borderline forced into participating, and he might be using "research" as an excuse, but this is the happiest we've seen him in, like, a long time!!!

No, seriously, think about it! The previous 3 event he featured in (Sunburst Fever, Blood Secret, and Desert of Dusk), Dante was busy with official business. They were pretty damn stressful for him.

But my mans has finally caught a break!!!

(⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ◡ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)

5) ASSIGNED DORITO AT BIRTH!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know that the lil' symbol is probably supposed to actually represent Dante's tattoos, but I'mma just pretend that they're his sharp-chin head on a Dorito body:

6) This can be interpreted in two ways---

Extremely horny

Extremely threatening

7) A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE WORD "LUMBERJACK"

(⊙ ㅁ ⊙)

BITCH BE FELLING TREES WITH HIS BARE HANDS!!!!

😱😱😱😱😱

Sometimes I kind of forget that Quincy has the potential to be really fuckin scary... He's so likable, but he could crush somebody's skull without even breaking a sweat...

8) I also kind of forget how excellent all of the clan members are in combat scenarios...

These dudes are literally sending lethal attacks back and forth, dealing with them all seamless.

On the one hand, it makes me proud of our bois, being so talented and all. But also, seeing them go all-out against each other is kind of a harsh reminder of how, at least in this respect, Eiden really is the odd one out...

9) Wait, did he have his tail out during this event????

THEN WHY DIDN'T THEY PUT IT IN HIS SSR?!?!?!

WHAT THE HELL, WE WERE ROBBED!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

10) Oh, come on! Really??? (◔_◔)

Did they really need to turn this into an "everybody wins" scenario???

Look, I love a happy ending as much as the next guy, and I know that the stakes of this event weren't exactly high. But this ain't a kids show that needs a squeaky-clean non-controversial ending. I want someone to win! Give us a clear winner!!!

Fuck it, I'll say it;

🔥 DANTE SHOULD'VE WON!!!! 🔥

I mean, COME ON!!! He absolutely crushed it this event!!! And he wanted to win more than anyone else, too!!!!

My dude finally had a mini-vacation for the first time in ages---LET HIM HAVE THIS!!!!!

DANTE GOT ROBBED!!!!!

11) Damn, poor Eiden! :(

Our boi was so close!!! I was really rooting for him!!! (I know I said Dante should've won, and I still think so; but if anyone else were to be the winner, it should've been Eiden. He really put a fuck-ton of effort into this event; gotta love an underdog!)

😂 Eiden really is being a great sport about this!

(And that was probably the funniest way of congratulating those three on their great performance in the competition.)

⚠️WARNING: GLOOMY COMMENTARY AHEAD!⚠️

But idk, man...

Maybe it's because I get way too immersed/empathetic when reading, but I feel way more sad about Eiden's loss than I probably should be.

Like, obviously, losing doesn't feel good. Nobody likes failure. And since Eiden is the protag, we're all sorta on his side by default.

I guess I boils down to what I said earlier; in comparison to the clan members, Eiden really is the odd one out. He doesn't even come close to their power; and even when he was trying his hardest in this competition, the odds were so insurmountable, there was no way he could ever win.

🤷 It just pokes at an inferiority complex that feels shitty.

🌸 End of report! 🌸

[ashprompts]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 (𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐒) — 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

a collection of sentence starters from the album by boygenius, "the record." feel free to alter pronouns/text as you see fit

"give me everything you've got, i'll take what i can get."

"i want to hear your story and be a part of it."

"who would i be without you?"

"speak to me until your history's no mystery to me."

"talk to me until the words run dry."

"i'll give everything i've got, please take what i can give."

"i want you to hear my story."

"it's a bad idea and i'm all about it."

"when you wake up, i'll be gone again."

"in another life we were arsonists."

"mama told me that it don't run on wishes, but that i should have fun."

"so many hills to die on."

"run out of gas, out of time, out of money."

"you're doing what you can, just making it run."

"take a break, make your escape."

"can you give me twenty dollars?"

"i know you have twenty dollars."

"she's asleep in the back seat looking peaceful enough to me."

"we're coming back from where no one lives."

"[name], i'm sorry."

"i just make it up as i go along."

"i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want."

"now i'm wide awake, spiraling."

"i'll get a real job, you'll go back to school."

"we can burn out in the freezing cold."

"you know how i get when i'm wrong."

"i can feel myself becoming somebody that i'm not."

"i'm 27 and i don't know who i am."

"you can't help but become the sun."

"when you don't know who you are, you fuck around and find out."

"it feels good to be known so well."

"i can't hide from you like i hide from myself."

"you already hurt my feelings in the way only you could."

"i remember who i am when i'm with you."

"your love is tough." / "your love is tried and true blue."

"you've never done me wrong, except for that one time."

"it doesn't matter anymore."

"who won the fight?"

"i don't know, we're not keeping score."

"i'm trying to be cool about it."

"wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it."

"telling myself i can always do without it, knowing that it probably isn't true."

"it's impossible to pass your tests."

"i'm trying to forget about it."

"kindly get out of my head about it."

"once i took your medication to know what it's like." / "and now i have to act like i can't read your mind."

"i ask you how you're doing and i let you lie."

"we don't have to talk about it."

"i'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning."

"it's nice to see how good you're doing."

"we know it isn't true."

"it would only take the energy to fix it."

"i don't know why i am the way i am."

"not strong enough to be your man."

"i can't stop staring at the ceiling fan."

"spinning out about things that haven't happened."

"do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement?"

"i lied, i am just lowering your expectations."

"half a mind that keeps the other second guessing."

"always an angel, never a god."

"i think i've been having revelations."

"skip the exit to our old street and go home."

"go home alone."

"you live up in my head."

"i've been making music since you told me to do it."

"i just wanna know who broke your nose."

"figure out where they live, so i can kick their teeth in."

"if this isn't love then what the fuck is it?"

"i guess just let me pretend."

"i don't wanna die. that's a lie, but i'm afraid to get sick."

"if you're not enough, then i give up."

"i used to think if i'd just close my eyes, i will disappear."

"if you love me, you will listen to this song."

"i could tell that you were serious."

"it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves."

"i might like you less now that you know me so well."

"there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

"i am not an old man having an existential crisis."

"i never thought you'd happen to me."

"will you be a satanist with me?"

"mortgage off your soul to buy your dream vacation home in florida."

"tryin' to score some off-brand ecstasy."

"will you be an anarchist with me?"

"sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie."

"at least until you find out what a fake i am."

"spray paint my initials on an atm."

"i burn my cash and smash my old tv."

"will you be a nihilist with me?"

"if nothing matters, man, that's a relief."

"if nothing can be known, then stupidity is holy."

"if the void becomes a bore, we'll treat ourselves to some self-belief."

"oh, you know what i should do?"

"it's so hard to come back."

"you could absolutely break my heart."

"that's how i know that we're in love."

"i don't need the symbol of a scar."

"isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?"

"i feel crazy in ways i never say."

"will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane?"

"i know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway."

"damn, that makes me sad." / "it doesn't have to be like that."

"if you rewrite your life, may i still play a part?"

"i can't imagine you without the same smile in your eyes."

"there is something about you that i will always recognize."

"if you don't remember, i will try to remind you."

"i will go on and on until it all comes back."

"i'm out of my depth at a public beach."

"i never listened, i had to see it for myself."

"making peace with my inevitable death."

"i guess i did alright, considering." / "tried to be a halfway decent friend."

"an honest fool with more bad habits than you can count."

"was anyone ever so young?"

"breaking curfew with illegal fireworks."

"unpacking god in the suburbs."

"you don't have to make it bad just cause you know how."

"writing the words to the worst love song you've ever heard."

"an incantation like an anti-curse."

"i think that you're special." / "you told me once that i'm selfish."

"you said my music is mellow, maybe i'm just exhausted."

"you think you're a good person because you won't punch me."

"i love you. i don't know why, i just do."

"you're not special, you're evil."

"you don't get to tell me to calm down."

"you made me feel like an equal, but i'm better than you and you should know that by now."

"it looked like it hurt and i wasn't sorry."

"i should have left you right there."

"you don't know me."

"i wanna be happy."

"i'm ready to walk into my room without looking for you."

"i'll go up to the top of our building."

"i can't feel it yet, but i am waiting."

[ashlingnarcos]

blood on vacation

David Barrón/F!Reader

written for @narcosfandomdiscord's smut alphabet, namely the July 2 prompt blood

tags: fistfight, absolutely unhinged preoccupation with bloody knuckles, fingering, oral sex

warnings: blood, probably unsanitary, reader is an OFC (Sabrina Tanaka), violence, this was not beta read and it kind of sucks ngl

length: 1.8k words

You’ve only been Mexico City for a week, and you’re already all vacationed out. It’s not Marcela’s fault. The two of you make no sense as friends—she, the trust fund kid formerly known as Marcelo who initially met you at your dad’s jiu jitsu academy, currently partying her way across the globe with an increasingly dodgy set of cousins, exes, and assorted other rich vagabonds, and then you, the standoffish sparring tutor forever known as Mr. Tanaka’s kid, with an unhealthy penchant for taking your skills to street wanderings, just to see if you could. She was whimsical and merry, spiritually curious and given to bouts of dangerously committed romantic pining, and you were stolid and practical and highly suspicious of anyone as eager to please as a car salesman, much less a preacher or supposed future lover. The one similarity between the two of you is that you both were born and raised in São Paulo, and could both kick hard enough to break bones. But the rest? Pure opposites attract chemistry. 

She’s been generous on this trip, doing the rich girl thing in splendid style, and footing the bill for your part completely. She translates for you whenever she sees you getting lost—Brazilian Portuguese is similar enough to Mexican Spanish that you can kinda sorta understand what people are saying if they’re saying it slowly and doing overtime with the nonverbal cues—and does it naturally, not like it’s a chore or an opportunity to show off. She introduces you to her club kid friends with excitement, like she’s showing them someone really cool. She’s a sweetheart, Marcela is, and you’re more than happy to wingwoman her into a spot sitting on the lap of some baby narco named Ramón. But the good food aside, you’re still so alienated and bored that when a fistfight breaks out in the club, it come as a welcome change of pace.

There’s broken glass on the ground—Ramón’s older sister smashed a bottle over somebody’s head, good for her—so no ground fighting for you. And there’s too many people around to dedicate yourself to a hold. So you fall back on a motley bag of street fighting tricks, plus what you learned from a misspent summer at a boxing club, mostly just trying to stay upright and get your licks in where you can. It’s all fun and games until one of them slaps you, open palm. A punch would’ve been fine, but this? You hit his nose with the base of your palm, driving up to break it, then follow that up with a jab. Not satisfied yet, you sweep one of his feet out from under him, shove hard, and finally get him on the ground (broken glass be damned) in a hold that has him gasping fruitlessly for oxygen, his neck in the crook of your arm, his body trying to wriggle round and find an angle at which his elbow shots to your ribs will actually mean something. Unfortunately for him, when you’re pissed off, you could take it all the way to fully broken ribs and not care. Fortunately for him, nobody there actually wants anyone to die, so after a bit, several people pull you off him. One of them is Marcela, so you give it up. The fight has died down anyways; both sides are separating into bloodstained, wary-eyed groups. 

Keeping steady eye contact with the man who slapped you, you lift your bloody-knuckled hand to your mouth, part your lips, and lick a long stripe of his blood off your skin. Slow and intentional and savagely self-satisfied. 

As you turn to talk to Marcela, ask her where the bathrooms are so you can clean yourself up a little (Ramón is already yelling about partying the whole night through, and Marcela seems completely unruffled, so you doubt you’re all about to leave now), you catch a glimpse of something. Everyone here is preoccupied with their injuries, or other people’s, or the retreating crowd of interlopers, except for one man who seems to have witnessed your last threat. He’s dressed a little different than the others, in an oversized polo shirt. You remember getting a glimpse of him in the fight, thinking you might need to take him on next and grimly assessing that prospect as a dangerous one before he easily elbowed a guy who was heading for Ramón’s brother. So he’s not useless, and he’s not easily cowed. Just now, he’s looking back at your challenge of a glance with a flat-eyed expression that you can’t quite parse.

Hm.

No language in common and barely any friends, but you wanted a kill and you didn’t get one, and here’s another man. You’ll have to make do with another kind of death.

.

.

.

Inside the club bathroom, he hooks his fingers over the top of your jeans and tugs you forwards a couple inches. Commanding, but not a threat. Not trying to make you stumble, just getting you that much closer.

Regarding him with a curious, almost lazy look, you’re almost inclined to let him have his way, but then, as he goes to unbutton your jeans, his knuckles smear blood along your stomach. You close your hands over his wrists, and he pauses. 

“Go wash your hands,” you say, slow and clear, lave as mãos. And he gets it.

You know he gets it, because he looks down at your hands, your bruised, swollen, bloody hands, and then back up at you in a way that makes his blank expression rather pointed. Oh, does the international man of mystery have a sense of humor after all?

“Do it,” you say, faça isso. That must not be close enough to Spanish, because he frowns a little. You give up. 

You pull his hands out of your jeans, feeling a shiver go through you at the friction, and then you let go of him, walk over to the sink, and turn on the tap. As you lean back against it, the countertop digs into your thighs, suggestive. The dull pulsing thump of the club music outside gives the tiny bathroom a cloistered, cocooned quality. His dark eyes meet yours evenly. 

You don’t move, don’t so much as lift an eyebrow. Silent. Yeah?

Yeah. He takes a couple steps forward and washes his hands, and as he does so he mutters something to himself in yet another language, English, maybe. As he dries his hands, he smiles. It’s a wry, private smile. 

Two can play at that game. In your mediocre, third-generation Japanese, you say, “I have every intention of eating you whole” in exactly the same voice another woman might’ve said something sexy.

As he steps towards you, you could swear he says something that sounds like gostaria, dangerously close to I would like that, almost like he understands you.

You decide: no more talking.

Zero to a hundred. He tastes like beer and you, unfortunately, can’t get enough; your hands cup the back of his head, his neck, fingertips digging in as he finally unbuttons your jeans and shoves them and your panties down your thighs in one impatient motion. You could hop up onto the countertop, but why do that? This way is so much better, his wet hands gripping your ass, the swift coolness of droplets sliding down the back of your thighs, the low grunt he makes when he lifts you. 

“Sorry, was that hard for you?” you say, but he’s two steps ahead of you. Got his palms warm on the inside of your knees, spreading your thighs and catching sight of just how wet you are for him. It’s his turn to be smug, clearly, but you can’t even be mad at it when he wears that smile so well. 

He gets on his knees. 

You should’ve known it’d be like this from the second you caught his eye in the aftermath of the fight. You really should’ve known, but it still punches an unwanted sound out of you, a small sound in the back of your throat, when he gets his face between your thighs in seconds, no hesitation, and starts to lick your cunt like it’s ice cream and he’s starving. 

With the countertop digging into your legs and the mirror hard against the back of your head, your body throbbing with new bruises, you have no right to feel this good, but you do. With your fingers sunk into his hair and your eyes half-lidded, you feel like you could melt and slip right down that drain. For his part, he’s got you just how he wants you, with your legs parted wide to accommodate the width of his shoulders, his right forearm a bar across your belly. You have no fucking idea how or why he’s doing this—men who see you gone full destroyer don’t usually think to themselves, I want to make her feel good, they tend to think along much darker lines. They want to dominate you, and you get what fun you can out of the process of denying them that. But this? He got on his knees like it was his first choice. You do not know what this is, but you’ll take it. He slips a finger inside you, and you’re so wet that it barely burns at all. Two fingers. Fuck. He leans his weight into your stomach, across your thighs, to stop you from bucking up into his mouth, and that’s—that’s fair. It’s all you can do not to whimper, and your heavy panting sounds desperate enough. Three fingers and you do whimper.

He looks up, and you’re already bracing yourself, but no. There’s no sneer in it; there’s something else. All night, this nameless man has been quiet, unnoticeable, and then, once noticed,  mysterious, but now you see him. The first look is caution, but the second? The second is all appreciation, like he could drink the sight. 

That look hits you hard. You close your eyes, because you don’t want to see it, don’t know what the hell to do with it, and choose instead to sink deep into the sensations in your body as he wrings you out. A wave of euphoria hits you as you come, and it’s just the body, you know it’s just the body, but when it’s over and he has his chin propped up on your thigh, both of you looking exhausted, neither of you done, you get the weirdest urge to push his sweat-damp hair off his forehead. Little killer, you want to say. Damn near affectionate. (It’s just the body.)

.

.

.

The cops arrive at the club before you can manage to return the favor, and Marcela hates all interactions with the cops with a flaming passion, so you have to get her out even though in all likelihood Ramón will just have to flash them a medium-size wad of bills. Later, though, when you can, you confess all (most) of the strange encounter to her, and she gets the message out to him. Through which of the tiny terrors, you don’t want to know. Probably Ramón, a thought that does not fill you with confidence. But he gets the message anyway.

The message is: I owe you one.

[that-irishman-fan]

one piece characters that give off bisexual energy part one!

( GIF is not mine, it belongs to @snippychicke and neither is One Piece or its characters mine in any way! )

Kuro/Klahadore

Arc: Syrup Village, East Blue, Vols. 3-5, Chapters 23-44

Headcanon: Kuro is bisexual biromantic, but I can also see him being sapiosexual too.

Thie Machiavellian butler himself serves both tea and cunt as the first contender in this series! Kuro was always interesting to me as a twelve-year-old reading One Piece for the first time. He was definitely a highlight when I was uncertain about the story as a whole. ( Keep in mind One Piece was the first manga and anime I fell in love with, after my grandparents had bought me the first volume from a flea market when we were visiting them on summer vacation. ) I've seen lots of people put him down as an antagonist for being a walking trope, lazily written, or just plain boring. I don't get it myself and I'll always be a Kuro stan. You couldn't have had a layered baddie such as Doflamingo or Orochi in such an early part of the story. It wouldn't have fit the tone. While there are some irksome qualities to Kuro and his motivations, I won't hop on that hate train saying he is somehow a terrible villain. Kuro was classy, snobbish, wicked smart, a scheming bad boy who I always pictured as belonging in Buckingham Palace laying out silverware for the royal family. Can I just say how fucking mental I went when they made his actor in the Netflix series English? I've always had a thing for villains, and he was no exception to me as a middle-schooler. I've had a plot bunny for a small one-shot involving Kuro as the main character; before he betrayed Kaya, just about his daily routine as a butler. I find anything to do with butlers to be absolutely fascinating-- I'm showing my autism and ADHD here. In it I wanted to write Kuro as being explicitly bisexual. I can't really explain why I get a gay aura off of him. Perhaps it's queer coding, a subconscious recognition or gaydar, or just me being ridiculous. I really got it when I reread East Blue again recently, and after I saw the live-action. The latter had a HUGE part in forming my opinion on Kuro being bi. This is more me joking, but can we agree being a cat person is inherently queer? I think either he's really overkill with the whole black cat theme, or there's something else going on. I also want to add I'm firmly convinced he'd be sapiosexual too. This is a man who prioritizes intelligence as a both strength and virtue. You can't tell me he wouldn't be looking for smarts as the defining trait in a significant other; somebody to match his own wit. Some characters I've chosen for these headcanons won't fit into one easy box, which is true to life as we don't all think, love, or view things the same way. I want to make sure I'm showing representation and diversity to our beautiful community, no matter how we identify.

So yes, Kuro/Klahadore is bisexual biromantic and sapiosexual in my mind! I should quickly write as an aside that I won't be going in any particular order with these posts. So, we'll be jumping across arcs to all kinds of characters. With that, thank you all for reading this, please let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have a fantastic rest of your weekend and take it easy!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 6 Pt. 1

Ahhhh I have fallen behind... D,:

Anyways. My usual stream of consciousness stuff for my first read! Here we go! I'm sure things can only get better from here.

[All images in this post are from Trigun Maximum Volume 6.]

Meryl... :( She's not even in the bed, she's just sitting in a chair, as if she knows she won't be able to sleep well... or more likely that she can't fall asleep and she's been awake so long she dozed off in the chair... my poor girl somebody at her job give her compensation or like. Extended vacation days or something. Please. (Also how long do you think Meryl had to reassure Milly that she was fine before Milly lay down and got some sleep? Idk seems like something she'd do; try to stay up with Meryl.)

The entire conversation between Wolfwood and Meryl is really interesting to me. Firstly, Wolfwood trying to dig for why Meryl hasn't asked any of the obvious questions (because it doesn't seem like Meryl has told anyone what she saw) and just coming across as incredibly annoying for no reason ahdjfhjdbfv. But what's intriguing is even with the lack of real communication here, I feel this is a conversation of equals, despite Wolfwood's objective being to get Meryl to leave. Meryl's fear has little to do with Vash's transformation itself, but rather the implications of what he is and the very visceral and traumatic experiences that she is now privy to through the perspective of the person who suffered them. Thing is, even with Wolfwood lacking this info, he still notes something about Meryl's character without saying it outright that is 100% spot on - Meryl won't leave for herself. But she might leave for Milly. She has a strong sense of responsibility to her, and Wolfwood pulls on that, likely because it's something of a commonality they share. (However, I think Wolfwood does not fully see that Vash is included, as well as Milly, in Meryl's list of people she would do pretty much anything for... but that might involve Wolfwood having to like. Actually admit that Vash occupies a similar position for him in a personal and not just occupational way...)

[ID: Vash's hand holds Marlon's gun loosely. His index finger has released its hold on the trigger and is dripping blood. End ID.]

...oh yeah. He's doing well.

Vash: *on the tail end of a severely traumatic flashback and incident*

Also Vash:

[ID: Three images of Vash making a variety of silly faces. End ID.]

(Also I adore his snark so much. Vash's inner monologue has got to be so much snarkier than anything he says out loud. That whole "I won't say anything because I am polite but know that I am thinking very loudly about how much of a dick you are".)

[ID: A panel of Brandon Marlon in a cartoony style, mockingly throwing his hands in the air and saying "Ohhh, look at me! I fired a gun! Woow!" then switching to scowling and waving dismissively, saying "You can die and be reborn a thousand times and I still won't make a gun for a moron like you!" End ID.]

Oh my god. Someone who actually understands the responsibility that comes with distributing weapons. Brandon Marlon you are my new favourite minor character. Also you're so funny about it.

Meryl... she is so worried about him... :(

"His determination is stronger than the regret he carries." Augh...

Wolfwood having nightmares... Meryl having nightmares... it would surprise me if Vash and Milly weren't also having nightmares... there is only one solution. Group cuddle session under nice big blanket.

[ID: Vash sits, perched on the edge of a roof with a friendly smile. Behind him, the full moon with the crater is in full view against the darkness of the night sky. End ID.]

Oh. Hm. This is a choice. Very much echoes what Wolfwood was saying to Meryl earlier, that they both know "what kind of guy he is" (friendly, compassionate, etc.), but that he's also very dangerous... a "time-bomb"... :(

AUGH

Oh man. More of the "I know" "I know you know" FUCK. No way Vash didn't realize Wolfwood was pointing his gun at him.

God. Nothing Wolfwood does matters. It looks like he killed someone to save the kids, but they're not safe and it just guaranteed he couldn't go back to see them. He tried to kill Knives but was too freaked to follow through and ended up trapped obeying him. Knives is going to destroy the orphanage anyways no matter what he does, so all he's doing is stalling for time. Caring about Vash doesn't change anything - he's still doing exactly what he's been told to do. He's stuck. He's trapped. Somebody help him out please.

Vash has now canonically been referred to as "pretty boy". I mean we all knew but it's still funny.

[ID: Vash, aiming his gun, has his back turned to Wolfwood, who is crouched low and shielding him with the Punisher. The remnants of a wooden table are shattered across the scene. End ID.]

OHHHH this fight scene is GOOD. Back to back fighting! They automatically switched who they were facing off against AHHH

They both, without even a word, showed their backs and trusted the other to defend them. I. Ok. Ok. I'm cool.

Never mind apparently Milly is sleeping like a log shgjdfhbvjdfhb

The Legato and Elendira interaction is so funny. Knives' duo of worsties who hate each other and want to kill each other but settle for petty insults and whipping beverages in the other's face.

DOUBLE FANG??? OHHH???

Why is this boy Bane. He has Bane powers. What.

...Legato. Wtf happened to your tongue. Like I'd heard people talk about the tongue but I thought it's probably not that bad. Never mind. Eugh.

[ID: A set of panels showing street market vendors and their owners, selling their goods. Snippets of dialogue are heard: "Right here! Fresh meat! Just in today! Chicken! Beef! Pork! You want it, we've got it!" "It's always a concern. That's why I suggest this powder..." "We use ingredients as close to the original as possible." "Well? Doesn't that smell good? That's the very freshest tea." "It's really fantastic, madam." "My, that is good. You don't skimp on the sugar." "It's flammable, so be careful. Nah, just handle it the same way you would gasoline." Amid the conversation, a close-up of Knives' face reveals his eye, narrowed, bitter and distant. End ID.]

Ok. This set of panels gets me. There's so much ambiguity here. Knives is listening to the people enjoy the fruits of the labours of his sisters that humanity have been exploiting. The thing is... these things, a lot of them aren't exactly necessities. They're specifically engineering things to be close to what they had, which, while understandable (humans need enjoyment to survive. like that's real), it also begs the question of whether this kind of differentiation increases demand on the Plants beyond what is necessary for humans to take. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe the differentiation is no more effort on the part of the Plants than the raw amount needed to live comfortably. It's hard to say, since we're seeing this through the filter of Knives' view, for whom any amount the humans take from Plants is too much. Anyways. It's interesting. ...I also think he looks painfully young in this panel, but maybe that's just me.

[ID: Knives stands before a headstone engraved with his name. He is just an eerily grinning silhouette, with his weapons curled and hooked over his head like a set of bladed wings. End ID.]

He is proud of his artwork. (Sorry lol)

"This Plant is going to be retired." <- uh. yikes. Way to avoid saying she's going to die.

"Deliberately go out of control" so wait. I'm confused. The Plant is going to go out of control at the end of her life cycle and they're harvesting what was going to happen anyways, or they deliberately push her to that point so that she goes out of control? What's happening here.

Hm. An angel arm type thing formed from what looks like her stomach... or maybe womb? I don't know but that's... hm. It's like it's their core or something. Like a reactor core. If that's the case then it being forced out of Vash like that is even more disturbing.

Her hair turned black. No. No hold on. Oh no.

[ID: A close up of Knives' face. His eyes have gone blank and lines from his Plant abilities are etched on his cheeks. End ID.]

Ohhh... remember how the blank eyes seem to show severe distress...? :(

Noooo oh my god. It's so much worse. Knives has been inadvertently killing Vash every time he activates his powers. AUGH

Local man just wanted to enjoy his noodles. Unfortunately his buddy is a trouble magnet and he keeps getting interrupted. Will he ever have the chance to finish his noodles in peace? hdjvbhdfvhjb

So Vash has been sneaking off to day drink apparently. Holy crap that panel is disturbing. Also it hurts me. My poor boy... :(

"Needle-noggin-isms" I'm screaming

Oh god he's so off in this fight. He's... he's actually drunk, isn't he...?

!!! Holy shit Vash's Plant abilities saved him automatically.

Oh fuck off with these people.

AUGH MERYLLLLL

I am in so much pain. Haha. Ha.

Ok ok but - does anyone other than Meryl know that she saw everything? Because Vash was totally out of it in that scene - it's not like he meant to transmit those flashbacks. I don't think anyone knows the full extent of what Meryl saw. So, when she has a panic attack and flinches away from him... he completely misunderstands. He thinks it's because she sees him as a monster; that she's scared of him. But that's not true! Meryl has done nothing but be concerned for him! And yes, it was terrifying, and yes, she's scared, but she cares about him! As a person! But I think Vash perceived this as a rejection. And all he can do is apologize. (Augh and the parallel to Hoppered and the woman with the blinded eyes who panicked when being touched...) STOP THIS NOW THIS HURTS

The little kid defending Vash... not old enough yet for fear to overtake reason... :')

I feel like Elendira is just here to see how things go down. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

TESLA MENTION.

Rem is so silly. <3

Baby Knives wants so badly to be liked and accepted... augh.

The contrast between "Do you think we can become friends with them?" and "Yeah... it might take a lot of effort though." Ooh. Many thoughts.

[lucywrites02]

ASKING YOU ABOUT YOUR FAVS 💖 please tell all about them !!! 👀👉👈

Meet my harem of tall and traumatised husbands <3 I didn't want to go into details of their characters because that wouldtake a loooong time. This post is just a little list :3

1. Loki

Look at this face. This is the face of a god. I love this poor little meow meow. He's in a desperate need for a hug and therapy. He likes green, and I respect that 👏 Seriously somebody please hug him. This person could ask me to gift them the stars, and I would do that. Loki deserves the world <3

2. Miguel O'hara

Look at him. I need you to look at him. He's gorgeous. And Oscar Isaac voiced him. And his a genius. He was a scientist before he became spider-man and he build his own suit using nano tech. That's very nerdy of him. I love everything about him. He has some serious anger issues. And fangs. Venomous fangs. I'm so horny for this man

3. Optimus Prime

Big alien robot <3 My brain goes brrrr every time I see him. The biggest softie and the greenest green flag. Please just give him a break. My baby is constantly under stress.

4. Din Djarin

HE'S SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER LET ME MARRY HIM. An amazing father. Him and Grogu (baby yoda) are such cute little family. And his voice? Pedro Pascal knew what he was doing. I would die if Din Djarin looked at me. Instant and beautiful death.

5. Stephen Strange

Magic man! He has a really interesting character (I'm talking mostly about comic Stephen). He loves his wife from another dimension. An insecure little boy that needs a hug and 2 weeks vacation to finally fucking relax. Seriously, man, take a freaking break.

6. Megatron

Is he a manic tyran with genocidal tendencies? Yes. But I could fix him. I like the "more than meets the eye" version of megatron because he's in his redemption arc era in those comics and the fanfics about that SLAP.The amount of angst and guilt you read in those stories? That's my shit.

Special mention:

Castiel and Dean Winchester

I had to mention them. I love those characters. I would die for them. An angel and monster hunter. I am not normal about them. They are perfect in every way. And the fanfics about those two slap hard. I cried several times while reading stories about them. Also they are married.

[xyzzymancy]

Ayo! If you're taking charas for that bingo, Merasmus?

i love this dramatic wet blanket of a wizard so so so so much <3 the most character ever. she literally never leaves my head and i don't know if it's a blessing or a curse.

honestly, the fandom isn't that mean (just neglectful lol), but canon is so cruel. he's hated by everyone, drowning in debt, living at the Y, tormented by his old roommate, the list goes on. please, somebody give this old man a vacation.

[companionjones]

Senator John Delphin

Pairing: Josh Lyman x Reader

Fandom: The West Wing

Summary: Josh finds out someone made you cry.

Warnings: Reader cries, but we don’t go into detail

*******

    There were two people who worked in the White House that absolutely no one disrespected. The first was the President, the Commander and Chief. The other was a Senior Staff Advisor that one Josh Lyman had taken a liking to. If anyone were to badmouth her, they would incur the wrath of the most combative Deputy Chief of Staff in recent history. Yes, you were untouchable. And you had absolutely no idea that you were.

    “Have you ever gone to the Hill and suddenly questioned why you went into politics in the first place?” Josh wondered as he walked into your office.

    “Please, come in. Make yourself at home,” you sarcastically invited.

    Josh ignored the sarcasm. “Thanks. I just came back from the Hill--”

    “You don’t say?”

    “--I just came back from the Hill and Jefferey Kamer spent half the time rambling about the vacations he goes on that are very likely being paid for by the American tax dollar--What’s wrong?”

    You tried to act like you weren’t paying attention then, just like you hadn’t been a moment ago.

    Josh went on, “You’ve been crying. What happened?”

    Still you didn’t respond.

    “Y/n--”

    “It’s nothing, Josh. Leave it alone.”

    He scoffed, “Like hell it is. It made you cry, and I want to know about it.”

    “I didn’t cry until that door right there was closed behind me. No one saw. It didn’t affect my job. I’m already embarrassed enough about it. Just drop it.”

    “I’m not going to just drop it, and I don’t give a damn if it affected your job or now. Somebody made you cry, and I want to know who.”

    “Josh!”

    Only then did Josh realize he was directing his anger to the wrong place. The last thing he wanted was to make you more upset. “I’m...sorry.”

    “It’s fine,” you immediately forgave. “It’s just...we can’t both get worked up about things like this. The whole White House would have to shut down.”

    Josh chuckled as he leaned on your desk. He ran a hand over his face, then asked in a much calmer tone. “Can you give me a name?”

    You sighed, and let the name fall from your lips. Josh took off from your office.

    The man who had spent your entire first interaction with him insulting and belittling you was an older senator from Ohio. John Delphin had been serving for 37 years. He was 72 years old. Josh saw no problem in ending his career.

    One week later--just one week--Delphin was stepping down and retiring.

    “You’re insane,” you commented as you approached Josh, who was watching a news report on Delphin’s retirement on one of the TVs in the office.

    He had been leaning on a nearby desk, and stood in your presence. Josh moved an arm around your waist without taking his eyes off the TV. “No one touches my girl.”

    “Unless he completely overreacts on some old man who was rude to me, then he gets to put his hand on my waist,” you quipped.

    Josh went to move his hand away. “Sor--”

    “Ah-ah.” You stopped him. “I didn’t say I disagreed with it.”

    Josh smirked in a way that matched yours. The two of you finished the news broadcast before heading home for the night--together.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, you should check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3