On a more serious note I actually feel so bad for younger Tommy bc he’s out and proud now but we all saw how they treated queer people at the 118 before our team got there, and how he must’ve experienced hate all throughout the Academy, and maybe at other firehouses too and god the actual army, and idk it’s easier now for me to see why he acted the way he did in the earlier episodes and how he must’ve felt pressured and weird and alone and how I just know he looks up to Hen so much and im a mess rn
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IF THIS ISN'T THE KIND OF ENERGY MARIUS'S FIRST EPISODE BRINGS, I'M RIOTING.
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Astarion may be good at stealth, but his momma ain't bc the clap of her ass cheeks would alert the guards.
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I need a caregiver who truly sees me as nothing but an overgrown infant. They'd treat me as a sexless, cute, little baby who can't be trusted to care for himself in even the most basic ways. They'd encourage me to let my emotions guide me completely, to completely let go of my rational thoughts.
But, importantly, none of this would be out of a desire to humiliate or denigrate. It wouldn't be a power play.
Instead, it would be grounded in unconditional love and a desire to help me really let go of my stress, trauma, and other hang ups.
At the same time, I want someone I can do that for as well. That desire to reciprocate is what makes me a switch.
Humiliation is a hell of a kink. It's my second favorite kink.
But, nothing beats love.
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every time a post/poll goes around about being aspec and fandom shipping enjoyment/engagement/whatever im like. NOW can we stop acting like being an aromantic person who enjoys shipping is some kind of Weird Outlier Situation? can we stop acting like this is an Unpopular Opinion or even Persecuted Outcast Take rather than idk, the default standard, just like everywhere else? idk romance repulsed aromantics Yes Including Fiction aren’t the default or even a significant majority and it really drives me nuts when people act like aros who enjoy shipping are somehow Not exactly that.
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had a minor breakdown and now my bathroom floor is covered in hair.
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someone actually just kick me in the shin for this but here. have a wip snippet for something completely different and not at all related to the CoD fandom at all.
(snippet of my eddie wells x female reader angst fest below)
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the first time eddie wells ruined your life, it started with a knocking noise coming from your mum’s car.
the one you had borrowed with her permission so you could drive over to manchester to meet up with some mates. she’d told you to be careful love and you had. you had, honest. it’s just that the car started making a knocking noise after you’d hit a pothole, maybe going a little bit over the speed limit trying to make it to the factory on time for your shift after a long weekend of partying.
and really, it was joanne’s suggestion to see our eddie down at the garage to get it fixed when you’d been complaining to the girls on the line at the factory before your mam finds out and skins you alive my girl with a maternal wink that spurred you on.
so you did.
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You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:
"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"
So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)
But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.
So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?
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writing every day of november but less words than nanowrimo so I don't try to set fire to my laptop. anyway, here's today's snippet
'it didn’t matter how many people were present, Tommy had been and would be clinging onto Tubbo for the foreseeable future. At least the rest of the party. Maybe the rest of the year.'
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am i really me if i don’t have a needless amount of silly side blogs? jury says no, your honor.
if you want to see me ramble about bg3, dnd, other games, and the occasional writing piece associated w that, go check out @wisteriawilds
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