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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 18 days

Text

Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 2

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Part 1

Summary: You help Ethan get revenge on his ex that made his life hell.

Contains: Angst, Mentions of abusive behavior, Fluff-ish? idk, Oral - m and f receiving, rough sex, dom!-ish Ethan (If I missed anything, let me know!)

A/N: I SUCK because I've had this almost finished for TWO DAYS and I thought I was going to have the time to finish it. Also, if there are any spelling errors or whatever, I'm sorry😫 If I re-read something I've written too much I start to criticize it and this would've never gotten posted lmao

After your night with Ethan, you woke up determined to right the wrongs that your friends’ narrative created. You felt bad for him, because he was the sweetest, and he didn’t deserve all the hate he got from people that had no idea what the truth was. And the last thing you wanted was for the boy you were starting to fall for to change his mind and decide on transferring to a different school, even after he told you he’d stay.

Your friend kept texting you all night, so much that you finally had to put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ just so you could get some sleep. Once you clicked on her message thread and had to scroll a few times to read all the stuff she’d sent you, you got an idea when you made it to the last text she’d sent.

‘How could you do that when it’s obvious I still have feelings for him?’

“Oh shit,” you said, rereading the message a couple times. “That’s it!”

You were about to text Ethan when you saw the ‘Good morning’ text he’d sent you, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you messaged him back.

You: Good morning

You: What are you doing today?

Ethan: I’m going to lunch with my friends soon, wanna join?

You: I wouldn’t be imposing?

Ethan: Not at all. Plus, I really want to see you

You: Where am I meeting you guys?

Ethan: You think I’m going to let you walk there by yourself?

Ethan: Meet me in front of your dorm in an hour

You: See you soon

When you walked outside, you saw Ethan leaning against the brick wall of your dorm. You ran up to him, a huge smile on your face as he pulled you close.

“Hey cutie,” he said, leaning down to kiss you. “How did you sleep?”

“I wish I slept a lot better,” you sighed, “Your ex was texting me all night.”

“Oh…why?” he asked, as he laced his fingers with yours.

“Someone told her I was kissing you at the party last night,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.

“What did she say?” he asked as he started to walk, leading the way towards the restaurant.

“That I betrayed her, that you’re going to hurt me just like you hurt her, and that she still has feelings for you.”

“Well, she can choke on her feelings,” he bluntly said, as you started to laugh. “I’m serious. She’s made my life hell.”

“I think I might know how to make things better for you, but I don’t know if you’ll like my idea,” you said, as he curiously looked over at you.

“What are you thinking?”

“What if you asked her to hang out? Like, just say that you miss her and you want to see her. Then you call her out on her bullshit, but record the conversation,” you said, as Ethan took a deep breath. “I can think of something else if you don’t want to be around her.”

“No, I think it’s a good idea,” he said, “I’m not sure if I can fake being nice to her, though. What if I see her and I just blow up on her?”

“I think you can do it,” you said, your thumb rubbing against the top of his hand. “Just think, you get her to confess that everything she’s said about you wasn’t true, and your life can go back to normal.”

“Normal sounds nice,” he said, glancing up to notice all the people looking at him. “I felt like I was invisible in high school. Now I can’t get people to stop staring at me.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re so cute,” you said, half-joking as you smiled at him. “I’m finding it hard to stop staring at you.”

“Stop, you’re going to make me blush,” he said, his free hand running across his face as he tried to compose himself from your flirting. “I think they’re staring right now because I’m with someone as beautiful as you.”

“Who’s making who blush now?” you asked, as he opened the restaurant door for you.

He led you over to the table where his friends were, introducing you to them as you sat down. You recognized Chad from the night before, and Ethan was just praying that he wouldn’t say something embarrassing.

“It’s nice to officially met you,” Chad said, “Ethan hasn’t shut up about you all morning.”

Ethan sighed in defeat as he looked over to his friend, “Seriously?”

“What? It’s true,” Chad shrugged, “He told me you convinced him to stay, which I’ve been trying to do for months.”

“I think things are about to get a lot easier for him,” you said, as Ethan smiled.

“She’s a genius,” he said, wrapping his arm around you. “Apparently my ex still has feelings for me. Fuck, I need to text her.” Ethan slid his phone out of his pocket and unblocked her number, before typing. “Does this sound okay?” he asked, showing you the ‘I miss you. can we talk?’ text.

“As long as you don’t actually miss her, then yeah,” you said, as Ethan started to laugh.

“Fuck no,” he said, as he pressed send.

“Wait…if she still has her feelings, why would she spread all those rumors?” Tara asked, as Mindy jumped in the conversation.

“She doesn’t want anyone else to have him.”

“That’s fucked up,” Chad said, as Ethan’s phone vibrated against the table.

Ethan looked over to you before he picked his phone up. You could tell he was nervous, you were, too.

“She asked me what I’m doing tonight,” he sighed, “She wants me to take her to dinner.”

“Do you feel comfortable with that?” you asked, his expression unreadable.

“Do you feel comfortable with that?” he questioned, “You know how she is. She’ll probably try to be affectionate.”

“I’ll kill her,” you said with a straight face as Ethan started to laugh. “I’m serious…if she touches you, she’s dead.”

“Ooh, what if we stake out at the restaurant,” Tara suggested, “We sit far enough away, but we can still see what’s going on.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Ethan sighed, “I could only imagine what she’d say once she finds out it’s all bullshit. What if she says I put my hands on her or something?”

“You’ll have witnesses. I’ll come,” Chad said, as Mindy agreed to come along, too.

“Okay, I’m meeting her at 7,” he said, as his hand rubbed against your leg under the table.

Once everyone finished eating, you and Ethan were invited over to Tara’s. Ethan had other plans though, asking you if you wanted to go to his dorm for a little bit first. You agreed, because you wanted to spend alone time with him before he had to meet with his ex.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me going out with her tonight?” Ethan asked, once you’d made it back to his dorm. “I haven’t even taken you on our first date yet, and I’m taking her on one. It doesn’t feel right.”

“I’m okay with it as long as you don’t get sucked back in,” you said, a nervous smile playing on your lips as you sat down on his bed. “She’s good at convincing.”

“I won’t,” he promised, as he took a seat beside you. “The only one sucking me in is you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to say to her?” you asked, trying to fight the blush that was spreading to your cheeks.

“Well, I thought I’d start the conversation with the ‘I’m happy you wanted to see me’ and go from there. I think I’ll bring up the rumors and stuff after we start eating,” he sighed. “I hope she doesn’t deny it.”

“Just say you won’t give her another chance unless she admits it, because I told you she was the one spreading everything about you,” you suggested, as he shook his head.

“I’m not throwing you under the bus like that.”

“She’s already pissed at me. Why does it matter?” you asked, “Because honestly, she’s not my friend, not if she’s that shitty of a person. I don’t care what she thinks about me.”

“What if she starts shit about you, too?” he questioned, making you scoff.

“What can she say about me? Everyone will know she’s a liar after tonight.”

You talked with Ethan for a while about the right things to say and do, and as the hours started to pass, he was getting really stressed. He laid back on the bed and pulled you close to cuddle.

“We should probably go to Tara’s soon,” he said, as his fingertips rubbed across your back. With the lack of sleep from the night before, you were starting to feel really drowsy with the soothing motions. “Fuck, I’m so worried that I’ll just snap once I see her. I feel myself getting angrier.”

“You have every right to feel that way,” you said, as your hand rubbed across his stomach. “But I might know I way for you to release some of that tension.”

“What did you have in mind?” he asked, already having a hunch with the suggestiveness in your tone. You didn’t say anything as your hand traveled lower, running over the slight bulge in his jeans. You felt him getting harder the longer you rubbed, his hips shifting as he tried to get comfortable.

You sat up to look at him before your hand reached up to the button of his jeans. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about last night,” you said, your eyes on his as you slid his zipper down. “No one’s ever made me cum as hard as you did.”

You started to tug on his jeans as he lifted his hips, making it a little easier for you to get them down.

“Do you want me to make you cum right now?” he asked, as you laughed and shook your head.

“No, baby. I’m going to take care of you,” you said, sliding his boxers down. He gasped the second his cock sprang free from the confines of his boxers, your hand moving to lazily stroke it as he watched you, his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I’ve been dying to do this.”

With his size, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of it in your mouth, but you were determined to make him feel so good that the only thing he thought about on his fake date with your friend was you. You started with his tip, your tongue swirling around it. You paid extra attention to the underside the head of his cock because he kept gasping every time your tongue brushed against it. Then you slowly started to take him in your mouth, as his hand went to your hair.

“Fuck,” he sighed, as he watched you. He thought you were always beautiful but seeing you like this made him even more attracted to you. Your eagerness to please him just like he took care of you the night before showed him how down for him you really were, and the way that you thought of a plan to help him get his life back to normal had him falling for you harder than he expected to, at least this soon.

Once you started to gag, his hand that was resting loosely in your hair started to pull it a little, the feeling making you moan around him. You just kept going, the drool from all your gagging starting to drip down his cock. You reached your hand up to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, as your cheeks hollowed and how head started to bob.

“Shit, baby,” he groaned once your hand started to twist a little. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

His praise motivated you even more, your head moving quicker as he struggled to keep quiet. Not that he needed to be, but he had so many different sounds threatening to slip past his lips. He was fighting to keep his hips still. It was taking everything in him to not thrust into your mouth. You noticed that he was holding back, so you pulled away, your hand still moving as you looked at him. Your eyes were glassy from all the tears that formed, your lips were swollen, and Ethan was just so in awe of you.

“You don’t have to just lay there,” you said, the slight rasp in your voice from all the gagging quickly becoming his new favorite sound. “I can take it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, as you mumbled a “Mhm.”

You took him back in your mouth, and it didn’t take long for his hips to thrust. Your hand kept you from taking more than you could handle, but you were still gagging so much. Every time your throat tightened; Ethan felt himself getting closer to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum,” he groaned, his hand tugging on your hair as his hips stuttered.

You glanced up to see him as his orgasm hit. His eyes were fluttering as the salty liquid coated your taste buds, his head rolling back. The grip he had on your hair loosened as you slowed down, before you slid him out of your mouth.

“How was that?” you asked, as he tore his gaze away from the ceiling to look at you. He had a goofy smile on his face as his hands reached out to grab you and pull you close.

“That was perfect, babe,” he said, as he started to get a little curious. “How’d you get so good at that?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to,” you playfully said, as he chuckled. “We really should go to Tara’s.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking if you guys go to the restaurant early, she would be less likely to see you,” he said, as his hands started to rub your back again.

“We better go now, because you’re going to make me fall asleep,” you said, pushing yourself off his chest.

Once you made it to Tara’s, Ethan was way calmer than he was before. You knew the plan would work, but now you had more confidence that he’d be able to keep his cool. When everyone said they were ready to go, Ethan wrapped his hands around your waist from behind you. You turned to face him, a sweet smile on your lips as he leaned down to kiss you.

“Thank you,” he said, as you curiously looked at him.

“For what?”

“For being amazing,” he said, stealing one more kiss as Mindy fake-gagged in the background.

“Okay, if we’re going to make it to the restaurant before them, we need to go now,” she said, as you hesitantly pulled away from Ethan.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said, following Ethan’s friends out the door.

Once Ethan and his ex made it to the restaurant, you could feel the jealousy building. You saw the simple touches against his arm, the flirty smile on her lips. You felt your blood start to boil as you huffed and turned your attention to his friends.

“You okay?” Tara asked, noticing the pissed expression on your face.

“She was touching him,” you said, glancing back over to see them seated at the table.

“You really like him, huh?” Chad asked, as you felt your cheeks start to heat up.

“Yeah,” you said, your angry expression turning into a smile as you thought about Ethan.

“He really likes you too,” Tara said, as Chad nodded.

“Yeah, I told you, he wouldn’t shut up about you this morning.”

Everyone kept glancing towards Ethan’s table, but you were trying so hard not to. You just wanted to focus on eating the food in front of you, even though you didn’t have much of an appetite. You didn’t want to see him doing what he could to get the confession out of her, but once Mindy mumbled “Oh shit.” you finally looked up.

“Are they arguing?” Tara asked, as Chad nodded.

“He looks pissed.”

You watched your friend try to grab Ethan’s hand on the top of the table, but he pulled it away before he stood up. He searched the restaurant for the table that you were at before he walked over.

“I got her confession. Let’s go, babe,” he said, as you stood up. He took your hand in his before he turned to Chad. “I’ll send you money for her food. Is that cool?”

“Yeah, we’ll leave soon. You want to come back to Tara’s?” Chad said, as Ethan shrugged.

“Not right now, I need to blow off some steam.”

Your heart started to pound, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach as he walked with you. You weren’t sure how he wanted to let out his aggression, but you really hoped that it’d be in his bed. He led you out of the restaurant, your hand in his. Once your friend saw, she jumped up from the table and followed you outside.

“Hey,” she said, grabbing your shoulder after she caught up to you.

“Don’t touch me,” you snapped, turning to face her.

“What the fuck was all of this?” she asked, as Ethan tried to pull you away. “Honey, he doesn’t want you if he asked me out tonight.”

“Honey, he asked you out tonight so you’d confess to all the fucked up things you’ve said about him,” you yelled, your words full of venom as she started to laugh.

“Aww, are you trying to get people to believe that he isn’t some asshole?” she asked, and your hands involuntarily clenched at your sides. You were furious with the smug look on her face and the snarky tone. “Good luck trying to prove it.”

“I’ll prove it,” Ethan said, as he started to play back the video so she could hear it. Her face dropped, before she tried to grab his phone from his hands.

“Aww, are you worried everyone’s going to find out how much of a lying bitch you are?” you asked, your tone matching hers as she started to get mad. “You can’t just fuck up someone’s life and get away with it.”

Your conversation with her wasn’t quiet, and people started to gather around. They were probably anticipating the altercation to get physical, but you refused to give everyone that satisfaction.

“You really are a shitty friend,” she said, making you scoff.

“You’re a shitty person! You spread so much shit about Ethan that wasn’t true. How the fuck do you sleep at night knowing you’ve been ruining his life all year?”

“He shouldn’t have broken up with me,” she snapped, “But it’s okay. You aren’t what he really wants. It’s cute that you think you’ll ever compare to me.”

“That’s the reason I am interested in her!” Ethan yelled, “She’s nothing like you! You told everyone I was controlling, that I was mentally and emotionally abusive. That’s what YOU were!”

She was about to say something, when she glanced around and noticed all the people with their phones out, pointed at her. You noticed some of the girls that you’d heard talk about Ethan staring at the ground, disappointed in themselves that they helped spread the rumors. Some of the guys that had gathered around shook their heads at her.

“That’s fucked up,” one of the guys said, before one of the girls jumped in.

“Yeah, you’re going to make all of us seem like we’re lying if something happens to us. That really is fucked up.”

You looked over to Ethan, your eyes wide as he tried to fight a smile from forming on his lips. He saw her little reign of terror crumbling, and it was so satisfying to watch.

She suddenly felt the urge to save face, walking over to Ethan. He backed away from her as she sighed in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Ethan,” she said, as he started to laugh.

“You’re only sorry because people know who you really are now,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You don’t care that you fucked this whole year up for me. All you cared about was making sure no one else wanted me, but how funny is it that one of your friends does?”

“Oh, we’re not friends,” you said, looking over at her. “Good luck finding someone here that wants to be with you after what you did to him.”

Ethan grabbed your hand to lead you away from her, as she stood there in the awkward tension. Once you and Ethan made it a block away, you both started to laugh.

“Maybe I didn’t need to record the conversation with her,” he said, “Almost everyone recorded that shit just now.”

“I’m happy for you, babe,” you said, as he leaned down to kiss you. It wasn’t a quick peck like you expected, your mouths moving together as you made out on the sidewalk.

“It was so hot watching you stand up to her like that,” he said against your lips once you pulled away to catch your breath. “Let’s go to my dorm. Chad’s going to Tara’s.”

“And what would we do?” you asked, a smirk playing on your lips as he smiled.

“I think celebratory sex is the perfect way to end tonight, followed by you staying over once I tell Chad he can’t come home.”

Once Ethan got you back to his dorm, he unbuttoned the jeans you were wearing the second you slid your shoes off your feet.

“Someone’s eager,” you giggled, as he led you to the bed.

“You have no idea,” he said, pushing you back.

Your legs were hanging off the side of the bed as he pulled your jeans and panties down your legs, the aggressiveness of it making you more wet than you already were. He dropped to the floor, sitting on his knees as he moved your legs to rest on his shoulders. He started with small licks to your clit, teasing you a little just so he could make you squirm. Your legs resting on him pulled him closer once he wasn’t giving you what you needed. He chuckled against you before he started to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, just like that,” you said, your hand moving to rest in his curls.

His hands grabbed your hips to pull you even closer to his mouth, a squeal slipping past your lips once you felt your ass hanging off the bed.

“I won’t let you fall, baby,” he said, before his tongue went back to your clit.

You felt two of his fingers brushing against your entrance, a low moan falling out of your mouth once he slid them inside of you. You glanced down to look at him and saw his eyes on you. He couldn’t stop watching the way your chest started to rise and fall quicker and all the cute little faces you were making.

He started to angle his fingers just right, pressing them against the spongy spot inside of you as he suckled on your clit. Your hand pulled his hair, the other one gripping at the sheets as your moans got louder.

You felt that feeling starting to build, your body getting hotter as he pressed his fingers even harder.

“Oh shit,” you whimpered, as he sucked harder on your clit. “Cumming.”

Your back arched off the bed as the legs around Ethan’s shoulders clenched around him, holding him in place as he kept fucking you with his fingers. He slowed down a little once your pussy started to spasm, the loud whines falling from your lips echoing off the walls as he worked you through it.

Once your body relaxed, he slid his fingers out of you, and gave your clit a few more gentle licks before he rolled you over, your wobbly legs trying to stabilize themselves as your feet rested against the floor. You were still so blissed out, your senses still on overdrive as you heard the sound of his zipper getting slid down. After he took off his jeans and boxers, you waited in anticipation as he walked over to his nightstand to grab a condom. Once he came back over to you, he ran his hands over your ass that was proudly sticking up in the air for him.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he chuckled as he rolled the condom on.

He inched himself inside of you, soft moans slipping past your lips as he filled you up. When he stilled inside of you, he ran his hands over your hips as his cock stretched you out.

“You can move now,” you said, your voice muffled by his bed sheets.

He started off with slow, deep thrusts. He slid his cock out of you every time, his breathing getting heavier every time the tip went in and out of your entrance. Your hips started to move back to meet his slow thrusts, but he pulled back even further.

“Please, baby,” you begged, as you heard him chuckle from behind you.

“How bad do you want it?” he asked, as his hands moved from your ass to grip your hips. You huffed in response, as he slowed down even more. “If you want me to give you what you want, you better tell me.”

“I want it so fucking bad,” you pouted, as he smirked at how needy you were.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Before you could say anything else, he started to pound into you. He was pulling your hips back to meet his thrusts, your legs tingling as you struggled to hold yourself up. You were clinging to his sheets, whimpers flooding out of your mouth as he slammed into that spot every single time.

“So fucking tight,” he grunted, as you moaned in response.

Ethan had gone absolutely feral, one of his hands snaking under you to pull you back against him as he fucked up into you. He was squeezing at one of your breasts over your shirt as his other hand kept pulling your hips down.

“Are you mine?” he growled in your ear, this new side of Ethan turning you on more than you already were. You were trying so hard to form words, but they wouldn’t come out. The sounds of your wet pussy and skin slapping were filling the room as you felt the coil in the pit of your stomach getting tighter. “Are you too cock drunk to answer me?”

You nodded your head as he laid you back on the bed, your hands grasping at the sheets again as he fucked you even harder. Your whimpers were turning to cries as your legs started to shake, your orgasm taking over your body so strong that you swore you were going to black out from how good it felt.

“Almost there, baby,” he said, your pussy squeezing him so tight that he felt like he could bust at that feeling alone. After a few more deep thrusts, he moaned out, his cum filling the tip of the condom. He caught his breath for a minute before he slid out of you, smiling at the way your body was relaxed on his bed.

“I am,” you said, after he got rid of the condom and helped you get the rest of your body up on the bed.

“You’re what?” he questioned, as he laid down and pulled you close.

“I’m yours.”

After that night, your former friend only lasted a couple weeks at the university once everyone realized how she really was. She switched to online classes until she transferred to a college closer to her and Ethan’s home town. Your relationship with Ethan got more serious that he was bringing you home for the holidays. You were taking all these cute little photos in front of one of the light displays when you saw her with someone you assumed to be her new boyfriend, but she quickly walked away with him the second she saw you and Ethan.

“You think she’s going to do the same shit to him that she did to me?” he asked, wrapping his arm around you as you walked along the path of lights.

“No, I think she learned her lesson.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #scream smut #ethan landry smut #smut

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moethewriter · 5 months

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Hunger games Renaissance is so real. Could you do a fic where finnick and r live by the water after the rebellion. Idk I'm just picturing a quiet life which they deserve !!!

Ask and you shall reciecve! I love how we are all going through a hunger games renaissance hah! This was slightly nervewracking to write! I've been out of the game so long! --- TITLE: And I shall give you, WORD COUNT: 1k PAIRING: Finnick Odair x Reader WARNINGS: NONE TAGS: Lot's of stupid fluff and introspection (in some ways) by the reader SUMMARY: A quiet life had always seemed impossible, until it wasn't A/N: So this isn't beta read and quite literally my FIRST fanfic in four or five years! A bit rusty but I hop eyou enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing Anon! I'm always open to constructive criticism on how to make my writing, and your reading experience better! Lot's of love, Moe ___ The first thing you noticed was the stillness.

The waves gave no sense of urgency, no rushing and rumbling to its next destination … just a subtle lull as they crashed ever so lightly against the rocks along the shoreline. It was oddly warm for an Autumn day, but you weren’t complaining. The warmth was something you cherished, and longed for.

The warmth brought laughter, and it brought many days laying in the sand as you spoke in hushed whispers, basking in the heat of the day. The warmth brought Finnick’s smile, that you so desperately loved, as he ran through the waves to cool himself, waving shells or sea glass or anything interesting he had found, gathered for your collections.

It had been over a year since the rebellion and any moment spent with him was magical and everything you ever could have wanted. The quietness of your small home by the sea, the domesticity of your day to day life as you both grew and both allowed yourself to become okay with the stillness … Love had gotten you by, if there was one thing you could always count on it was being loved by the man with who had the biggest heart in the entire world.

“For you.” He had said, holding out a small crystal glass that shimmered in the sunlight, he doted on you day in and day out, though you insisted it had never been necessary.

But Finnick did not care, instead saying that you had all the time in the world to be spoiled, and he was more than willing to give it to you. In return you made sure he never wanted for anything, if he was willing to give you the moon, you were more than willing to return the stars.

“Thank you.” You said, gratefully taking the glass of lemonade, and sipping it.

Things always seemed more gentle now, an odd thing after how you had both lived for so long. There had never been roughness between you, never a moment of doubt but the world you had been born into didn’t allow for moments like this to be had. But now … now you were content and you were … happy. Happiness had been so foreign at first, allowing yourself to feel it more than you ever had before … the tiniest glimpses of it showing through your life. It had always seemed so impossible reaching it, but alas here it was … shimmering beneath the sunlight in District Four.

You think in a way you had always known that happiness could be found with Finnick.

You think of the boy who had stood up for you all of those years ago, Finnick. The boy who had been through too many things far too young … Finnick. The boy who had become the Capitol Darling … Finnick. The boy who had always had your heart, and always would … Finnick.

But this Finnick … The Finnick who brushed your hair and made dinner. The man who built your house piece by piece on a vision you had both created together. Finnick who held you like you were the most beautiful treasure in all of Panem.

This Finnick who is so at ease that a smile could come from seeing a bird fly over your home from the balcony, or when you simply said “I love you.”

This Finnick, your husband and the man who had never given up on you.

He leaned in to kiss you softly, holding your face with a touch so light you could barely feel it.

He felt so much lighter these days, so free and full of life like the boy you had once known.

“Anything for you.” Finnick smiled back, a smile that could make your heart race a million times faster. He traced your jawline with the pad of his thumb, outlining every possible scar and mole that dotted your skin, and kissed your temple. “Always.”

“You flatter me, Mr. Odair.” You whispered, leaning into his touch. “Has anyone ever told you, you have a silver tongue.” You teased, a bright smile spreading across your face.

“Maybe once or twice.” He chuckled, pulling you into an embrace as you both hit the sand with a soft ‘thud’, your body relaxed instantly against his despite the roughness of the sand below. “But no one’s ever been you.”

“No one’s ever been you either, Finn.” You tell him, leaning in to kiss his jaw, a small gesture and one of love.

Though everything seems to be filled with love these days, and you didn’t mind one bit.

“Maybe soon we can start on the painting.” He whispered into your ear, fingers running through your hair, unknotting any tangles that had come from the sea water during your early morning swim. “After all … you are my muse.”

“I’d love that.” You said, softly, closing your eyes.

You held onto one another for what felt like hours, but you knew time had barely passed. The sound of the waves, the quiet chirping of birds in the distance calling to their brothers and sisters. The ocean breeze and sound of his voice sending shivers down your spine, as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. The sun casting its light on both of you, bathing you in the beautiful rays of daylight.

Moments like these were no longer few and far in between. The days you spent together, and the time you had to now truly be committed and fully loved would never stop. Even those days, the long terrible days that seemed to darken the doorstep of the new life you had built, were far easier to bare knowing that you had him, and he had you. The life that you had always wanted, no longer a simple dream of two teenagers sitting under the stars wishing and hoping that you would be free.

“A quiet life.” he had once told you, under that moon. “That’s what I want after all of this.” And now under the sun, it was the life you did lead.

#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #the hunger games #hunger games #fluff #moeswriting #god my first fanfic in years #who would have thought #writing

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bookworm551 · 1 year

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Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 1 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader

He glanced away for a moment and clenched his jaw. When he looked back at you, you could see the frustration burning in his face. "I just-" he paused, staring at you intensely. "I've never wanted anything as much as I want you."

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Summary: You are the tsakarem of the Metkayina, promised to Aonung, and you have settled into your role nicely. Everything is as it should be until a family of Omatikaya refugees arrives, and the eldest son causes you to reconsider everything

A/N: I have been working on this piece for a while, but I literally had to rewrite this like four times so whoops. I appreciate all the love on my last fic, so hopefully y’all enjoy this too :) also, after this part I’m aging up the characters lol. Part 1 of idk

Neteyam x fem Metkayina!readers

5.8k words

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Epilogue

Freedom is oftentimes the sacrifice demanded by duty.

The privilege of choosing how to live one's life is swept away by the responsibilities one has to their family, their friends, or their people. You thought you understood the weight of duty when you became the tsakarem of the Metkayina, but you soon realized thereafter that the cost was higher than what you were willing to pay.

In the months following their arrival, you had gotten close to the forest children. You loved spending time with Tuk. She was bright and full of wonder, and she never failed to make you laugh with her occasional sassy remark. Lo'ak was determined and a fast learner, and you were constantly amused by his poorly-hidden attraction to your best friend, Tsireya. You became fast friends with Kiri due to her deep connection with Eywa and interest in healing.

But there was something about your relationship with Neteyam that was different from all the others. In the few short months you had known each other, your friendship had grown much faster than you had expected. He was kind and respectful, and he always knew how to make you laugh. He was as close to you as the friends you had known your whole life.

You had first met him one day rather unexpectedly after their arrival. You were under the cover of the healing tent when you heard someone approach from outside. You were surprised to find the oldest Sully waiting expectantly while gripping his wrist tightly. He dropped his grip in order to offer you the customary greeting of his hand to his forehead before immediately returning to hold his wrist again.

You offered the gesture back to him before asking, "Is everything alright?" He gave an embarrassed smile and said, "I touched a plant in the water with my hand, and now it burns. I was told to come here for a remedy." You knew immediately what it was, and you offered him a sympathetic look. Taking his hand, you inspected it to confirm your suspicion.

"We learn at a young age not to touch the sea nettle," you told him with a faint smile. "Think of it as a rite of passage." His lips turned upwards at your words. "Then I suppose I'm one step closer to becoming Metkayina," he joked. You chuckled as you searched for the treatment for nettle.

While he waited for you, he sat down on the floor and said, "I do not believe we have met before. I am Neteyam." You cast a brief glance over your shoulder with a smile. "I know who you are, Neteyam te Suli," you told him. "But you are right, we have not met. I suppose that is my fault, I have been very busy since you arrived." After finding the correct bowl, you sat down across from him and introduced yourself properly.

"You are the tsakarem, yes?" Neteyam clarified as you took his hand to inspect it for any remaining nettles. "I am," you confirmed, trying not to appear proud or arrogant in the title. "I spend much of my time here in the village. I have been able to become acquainted with your mother and sisters, though you and your brother seem rarely to leave the water."

Neteyam nodded with a small smile. "We have been learning so much," he told you. "It is all still so new to us." You hummed in understanding. "You seem to be adjusting well to the reef," you observed.

Before he could respond, you took the small bowl of oil and held it above his hand. "This will sting at first," you warned. He nodded, and you poured a small amount over his palm. As you had predicted, he tensed at the pain, and you could see the muscles in his arms flex reactively. He took a deep breath and relaxed as the pain ebbed away.

Carefully, you took your thumbs and rubbed them down his palm. "Let me know if I am hurting you," you told him quietly. He remained silent as you massaged the oil into his hand. You felt his eyes on your face, so you glanced up at him. He didn't look away, keeping his amber eyes fixed on your face, and he offered you a soft smile. You were only able to hold his gaze for a few seconds before becoming slightly embarrassed, and you quickly looked back down at your hands again.

"It feels much better," he said after a moment. "I'm glad," you replied earnestly. "I haven't touched sea nettle since I was very young, but I remember the sting of it very well." He nodded his head with an ironic grin. "I don't think I will forget this any time soon," he agreed.

You continued working the oil into his skin for a moment, and you still felt his eyes on your face, though you didn't look up at him again until you were finished. Dropping his hand, you said, "Try to avoid nettle in the future. We usually save the remedy for children, but I made an exception for you this time."

He grinned at you. "I am very grateful," he told you, placing his hand over his heart. "And I will take more care in the future." Smiling at him, you replied, "I hope so. I don't want to have to patch you up every day."

He looked at you in amusement. "I'm sure there are worse ways to spend the day," he teased. You shook your head with a small laugh. "Perhaps," you conceded. "But there are certainly more productive things to do as well."

"Thank you," he said as he moved to stand up. "I will see you later tonight?" You blinked in surprise. You saw him every night during the evening meal from afar, but since you had never spoken to him before, you were surprised at his forwardness.

"I suppose," you replied, then added with a smirk, "That is unless you hurt yourself again before then." He gave you a cheeky smile. "No promises," he responded playfully.

You saw the forest boy more often after that. Sometimes he would come in claiming to be searching for his mother and then stay and talk with you. Other times, he would come in with scrapes and cuts not severe enough to warrant Ronal's expertise, but deep enough to justify seeing you for help.

Sometimes, you wondered if he was getting hurt on purpose. You didn't mind though. He was sweet and enjoyable, and he always told you stories of himself and his siblings in the forest. You knew he missed it very much, but he hid his longing behind all the funny tales of his family.

One person who was wary of your friendship with Neteyam and his family was Aonung. He had his mother's distrusting nature as well as her pride, and as his intended mate, you knew he wasn't happy with how close you had become to them. He never said anything directly to you, but he would drop subtle comments about them when you were around. Whenever you were helping teach the forest children, he watched closely for how you interacted with them. You could feel the tension between him and the Sullys, and it all came to a head about two months after they had arrived at the reef.

You were sorting things when you heard a commotion outside. You looked out in confusion before Aonung pushed his way into the tent. You took in a sharp breath as you got a look at his face.

He looked awful. His eye was starting to swell, there was blood dripping from his nose, and dark purple bruises were beginning to form on his cheek. "What happened?!" You asked him sharply as some of his friends followed in behind him sporting similar injuries on their faces. Aonung didn't look at you, but one of his friends behind him chimed in, "It was the forest boys."

You scowled at Aonung. "What did you do?" You demanded to know. He shot you an irritated look. "You are accusing me?" he asked incredulously. Your scowl deepened as you glared up at him suspiciously. "Yes," you said. "I am." He scoffed at you. He wasn't afraid of your ire when he knew he had the privilege of being the son of the two clan leaders to protect him.

"They do not belong here," he told you. "I don't know why you are so fond of those freaks." His friends behind him muttered their approval at his statement. You turned your glare to them, and they immediately fell silent and looked away. Even if Aonung didn't fear you, at least they did.

"They are here under uturu," you said in a harsh whisper. "We must treat them with respect and dignity." Aonung rolled his eyes at your words. "Where is my mother?" he asked, ignoring your statement. You huffed an irritated breath. "Out," you responded crossly, walking over to where Ronal kept her store of medicines and other mending materials.

You pulled out a jar of ointment and handed it to Aonung. "For the cuts," you told him. "Now go." You pointed at the entrance of your tent resolutely, maintaining a level glare at him. He held your gaze for a moment before taking the bowl and walking away, his friends in tow.

You closed your eyes in exasperation. How could they all be so stuck up and stupid? You knew that Aonung took great pride in being the next in line for Olo'eyktan, but you had never seen him act so rude and self-absorbed. Honestly, it was embarrassing for you.

After a moment, you decided to go out to see if you could find one or both of the Omatikayan boys to apologize on behalf of Aonung. Stepping out, you headed over to where their family was residing. From a distance, you could see that Lo'ak was stepping out of the tent, his face downcast and irritated. He was still too far from you to try and call out to him, so you skipped briskly along the suspended walkways between you to try and catch up to him.

Despite your urgent pace, Lo'ak quickly moved in the opposite direction from you, but from their tent, Neteyam walked out into the light of the sun wearing a subtle smile on his face. Approaching his tent, you called out to him. He glanced up at you in mild surprise and offered a polite nod.

You studied his face for injuries, but besides a busted lip, he seemed relatively unharmed. "I know what happened with Aonung," you began. "Well, sort of. I am very sorry about him and his friends." He gave you a soft smile and shook his head casually. "It was not your fault," he said simply. "There is no need for you to apologize."

As he spoke, you noticed the fresh blood on his lip from his cut. "You are cut," you observed. "Come with me." You grabbed his arm to lead him back to the healing canopy, but he resisted, shaking his head again. "This is nothing," he told you gently. "I will be fine."

You didn't let go of his arm. "You have come to our home as guests," you said softly. "Aonung and his friends have treated you dishonorably. Please, let me make it right." You gazed up at his face imploringly, and after a moment, his face softened and he nodded. "Alright," he conceded and followed your pulling hand.

Entering under the cover of your canopy, you had Neteyam sit down while you took out a small cloth and a salve. Dampening the cloth with fresh water, you turned to where he was sitting patiently for you.

Taking his jaw in your hand gently, you turned his face so that you could inspect the cut better. Neteyam's eyes stayed on your face for a moment before glancing away to fixate on the tent walls. In addition to the cut on his lip, you also noticed some more purplish spots starting to form on his neck.

You traced your fingers over the forming bruises on his neck. Neteyam tensed at your touch, and his eyes quickly darted to your face. You pulled back your hand from his neck and said, "Sorry." He gave you a subtle smirk. "It doesn't hurt," he assured you. "Just sensitive."

"Ah," you said in a low voice, looking away from his eyes sheepishly. You started to clean away the blood on his lip. "What did he do to start the fight?" You asked him, changing the subject. He blinked slowly and shook his head. "It does not matter," he replied in a quiet voice, looking away from you.

Your grip on his jaw tightened slightly, and you turned his face back so he would look you in the eyes. "What did he do?" You asked again in a more insistent tone. You could see him contemplating, and you held his face and gaze in expectant silence.

"He was making fun of Kiri and Lo'ak," he relented. "He called them freaks." The grip of your hand holding his face tightened reflexively as anger burned in your chest. You closed your eyes for a second to regain your composure before turning his head back to continue attending to his cut.

"I am very sorry, Neteyam," you murmured earnestly. "He never should have said those things." In your peripheral vision, you could see that his eyes were fixated on your face, but you kept your focus on his lip. "You do not have to apologize," he repeated from earlier, trying to keep his mouth still as he spoke. "You have shown nothing but kindness to my family since we arrived."

You glanced up for a moment to meet his eyes. He was looking back at you with a soft gaze, and you became aware of how close you were to his face. You turned away from him as you felt your cheeks grow warm to pull out the salve you had. Taking a small swatch on your thumb, you brushed it gently over his lip. You could feel his eyes on you as you did, and despite your best efforts, you glanced up at them. A beat of tense silence passed as you looked at each other wordlessly, one of your hands holding his face while the other was tracing his mouth.

Worried that he may be able to hear your heart pounding, you thought desperately of something to say. "He is intimidated by you," you said finally as you dropped your hands from his face and looked down from his eyes. Neteyam cocked his head to the side. "Aonung?" He clarified. You nodded as you wiped the remaining salve off of your fingers.

"He is the son of Olo'eyktan," you explained, shifting to sit on the floor next to him. "There has never been anybody to challenge that status until now, but not only was your father Olo'eyktan as well, but he was Toruk Makto. We were raised hearing stories of him. Some sound too strange to be true."

Neteyam looked at you in curiosity. "Stories?" He repeated. "Like what?"

You smiled, somewhat embarrassed. "There are many," you said slowly. "He was once a human, a warrior from the stars." Neteyam nodded his head slowly. "That is true," he confirmed. You thought back for more rumors. "They say he killed one of the Na'vi to possess his body," you mentioned.

Neteyam let out a small, surprised laugh. "That one is not true," he said, amused at the story. "The Sky People grew his body from the blood of his brother and Na'vi blood, and his spirit now resides in it." Your forehead scrunched in confusion. "The blood of his brother?" You echoed, perplexed.

He shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "I don't even fully understand it," he admitted. "But the important thing is that no, he didn't possess anybody else's body to become one of the People." You nodded faintly, still very confused about Neteyam's answer.

"What else have you heard?" He prompted. You thought back to the way you imagined Toruk Makto before he came here. You had thought he would be large and intimidating like Tonowari, but with an authoritarian attitude and little humor. It was almost comical how he really was just like any other Na'vi father aside from some small physical differences and his accent.

"I thought he couldn't speak in the Na'vi tongue," you added. "We all thought he spoke a strange language." Neteyam nodded again. "When he led the revolt against the Sky People," he explained, "he spoke very little Na'vi. His first language is called English."

You tilted your head at the funny word. "English," you repeated. He smiled at your accent and nodded. "He usually only speaks it with my family," he said. "Many of the Omatikaya can speak it a little, too." You smiled back before asking, "What does it sound like?"

Neteyam shrugged. "What do you want me to say?" He said in English. You couldn't help but giggle at the strange language. "What does that mean?" You asked. He smiled at you in amusement. "I simply asked what you wanted me to say," he clarified.

You hummed thoughtfully as you came up with a phrase for him to say. You looked out at the afternoon sun casting brilliant reflections on the water outside of your tent. "The sea is very beautiful," you said finally. He looked out at the water for a moment. "The sea is very beautiful," he replied before looking back at you and adding, "and so are you."

You tilted your head and eyed him suspiciously. The pause between his words sounded like he said something extra. "All of that means 'The sea is very beautiful?'" You questioned skeptically. He glanced away for a moment with a faint smile. "Not all of it," he admitted. He paused for a moment, and then he said, "I said 'The sea is very beautiful, but I miss the forest.'"

"Ah," you said, nodding in understanding. "It must be very hard for you to be away from it." He sighed, looking back out at the sea with a far-away stare. "It is," he agreed after a while. "It is so different there. The sounds, the smells, everything. I don't think I have ever spent so much time in the sun as I have here."

You laughed at his last statement. "What do you mean?" You asked. He pointed out to where a few large, craggy precipices jutted out over the water. "The trees where I am from are higher than those cliffs," he explained. "When you are in the forest, very little sunlight reaches the ground."

Looking out to where he pointed, you shook your head in amazement. "I cannot even imagine trees like that," you said in wonder. He turned to you with a soft smile. "I'll take you to see them someday," he promised.

You smiled up at him, but it quickly faded away. You shook your head and looked away from his face. "No," you sighed regretfully. "I am tsakarem. It would not be right for me to leave the reef." He hummed in understanding. "I imagine your intended would not be happy about it either," he commented, watching you for your reaction.

You shifted uncomfortably. "No," you conceded quietly, "probably not."

When he didn't respond, you glanced up at his face and saw he was gazing at you expectantly. "He is not entirely to blame," you defended gently. "He and I have a great responsibility to the clan. He has carried it his whole life, but I am still getting used to it." He gave a small nod in understanding. "I have carried it my whole life, too," he said, then added in English, "but it didn't make me into an ass."

You smiled at the strange words and shot him a quizzical look. "I said, 'It is a heavy burden to bear,'" he translated for you. You nodded in agreement, and you missed the wry grin on his face.

"It must be nice for you finally to be free of that burden," you reflected. He heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head. "Even though my father is no longer Olo'eyktan, he still holds the title of Toruk Makto," he countered. "It is one that will always follow him, and so it will always follow me."

He stared out at the water in contemplation. There was a pause, and Neteyam gave another sigh. You could see the weight of his family's legacy on his face, and you felt a sense of compassion for him. "A heavy burden," you repeated his words quietly. He didn't say anything, lost in his own internal musings.

Even though you knew that the expectations weren't quite the same, you felt that on some level, you understood the struggle of upholding the standard of greatness in life. Your parents were very proud of your status of tsakarem, and you felt the pressure of it from them as well as Ronal, whose expectations were higher than everyone else.

"I never understood how heavy it was until now," you commented. "But I accepted my role. You were born into yours." Neteyam looked at you carefully and tilted his head in curiosity. "You accepted it," he repeated, "but did you actually want it?"

His question caught you off guard. As you pondered it, you felt a strange mix of emotions stirring in your chest. Nobody had ever considered that you wouldn't want to be tsakarem. It was easy to get swept up in the honor and prestige and forget about the fact that you were surrendering many of the freedoms you had previously enjoyed in order to prepare yourself to help lead the clan.

Your throat tightened unexpectedly as you thought about his question. Neteyam must have noticed your reaction because he shook his head apologetically. "I'm sorry," he said. "I did not mean to upset you." His words snapped you out of your thoughts. You shook your head dismissively and gave a weak smile.

"It's okay," you assured him. "I just..." you trailed off, not sure of what to say. After a beat, he took your hand comfortingly. "You carry the title with great dignity," he told you reassuringly. "And you bring honor to your people."

Your chest warmed at his words, easing the strain of his earlier question. With a shy smile, you asked, "How do you say 'thank you' in English?" He chuckled at your question. "Thank you," he told you in English.

"Thank you," you repeated in his funny language. He gave you a warm smile. "You're welcome," he replied. "You're welcome," you echoed thoughtfully. He nodded in approval. "That was almost perfect," he complimented. You hummed at his praise. "You'll have to teach me to speak it perfectly," you told him. He smiled as he looked at you. "I will," he promised gently.

You felt your cheeks warm at his soft gaze. You had never seen eyes quite like his. They were a shade of yellow you had never seen before, almost greenish in the reflections from the water. In the prolonged silence, you realized that he was still holding your hand, so you blinked and pulled it away gently while you desperately thought of something to say.

"Your cut will heal within the next couple of days," you said finally. He blinked as though pulled from deep thought and nodded gratefully. "You are very kind," he told you. "Thank you."

You smiled. "You're welcome," you told him, trying your best to accurately mimic the way he said the phrase.

He chuckled at your use of his language. "You're a fast learner," he praised and then sighed. "I should go find my brother," he added. You nodded in understanding, and you both stood up. Before he could leave, you said, "Please send my apologies to Lo'ak."

Neteyam shook his head with a reproachful smile. He brought his hand up to your face and tilted your chin upwards with his fingers to look him in the eye. "You need to stop apologizing for things you didn't do," he told you earnestly. Then, he dropped his hand and walked out of the tent before you could reply and before he could see the deep blush forming on your face.

Later that evening, you had taken Tuk out to feed the ilus. Waist deep in the water, you both giggled as the pod of ilus gathered around, swimming in eager circles around you. You and the young girl took turns feeding them one by one.

"I think this one likes me," Tuk giggled as one of the animals nudged her side affectionately. "Yes, well, that one is notorious for loving whoever has the food," you said with a laugh. Taking a fish from the basket, Tuk fed the cuddly ilu. "Then I'll feed him every day," she said with a bright smile.

From behind you, you could hear someone moving through the water. You turned and saw Neteyam wading out to where you and Tuk were standing. Noticing her older brother, Tuk called out, "Look, Neteyam! Come feed the ilus with us."

Neteyam offered his sister a quick smile before it melted into a more urgent look.

"Have either of you seen Lo'ak?" He asked. You glanced at Tuk, who looked back at you with the same confused look. "I haven't seen him since I saw you last," you told him. "Is everything alright?"

Neteyam glanced quickly at his younger sister before looking back at you. "It's probably nothing, I'm just looking for him." He started to walk back out of the water, and you could see the look of agitation on his face. You handed Tuk the basket of fish and said, "Here, you keep feeding them, I'll be right back."

You moved out of the water to follow after Neteyam. He must've heard you behind him because he slowed down and waited for you to catch up to him. Stepping behind him, you asked, "What's wrong?"

He shot you a worried glance. "I've looked everywhere. There is no sign of him, and nobody has seen him." Your forehead scrunched up at his words. "When did you last see him?" You asked. He gave a loose shrug and replied, "Earlier today, same as you."

"At your home?" You clarified questioningly. He nodded. "Yes, after my father told him to go..." he trailed off, and you could see that a thought had entered his mind. His worried face hardened into aggravation, his jaw clenched, and his head tilted as he fought to compose his anger.

"What is it?" You questioned in concern. Neteyam took a moment to close his eyes before muttering, "Aonung." Your stomach dropped a little bit at his name. Surely, he wouldn't have caused any more trouble than he already had.

Neteyam turned from you sharply and walked at a brisk pace towards the village. You struggled to keep pace behind him. "What about Aonung?" You asked, confused. Without breaking his stride, Neteyam said, "My father told Lo'ak to apologize to him earlier, and that was the last time I saw him."

A feeling of unease settled over you, and you prayed that Lo'ak was just off brooding somewhere instead of being in trouble. As you both quickly stepped across the beach, you caught Aonung's familiar form standing in the shallow water.

"You," Neteyam called out to him in a hard tone. Aonung had been staring out at the water towards the Sea Wall, but at the sound of Neteyam's voice, he whipped around. He was immediately defensive as Neteyam stepped up to him in the water.

"Where is my brother?" He demanded. Aonung scoffed. "He's your brother," he replied in a haughty voice. "Aren't you the one supposed to babysit him?" Neteyam shot the other boy a burning glare and took a step forward to get in his face, causing Aonung to take an uneasy step back. "I kicked your ass once already today," Neteyam stated. "I will do it again if I have to."

"Enough," you said firmly, not wanting a repeat of their earlier altercation. The boys didn't say anything, still holding each other's glare. "Aonung, do you know where Lo'ak is?" You asked. After a brief pause, Aonung's eyes glanced away from Neteyam over to you, and you saw the uneasy look he had.

Your stomach sank. "Where is he?" You pressed, feeling frustrated at his silence. You could see his hesitation before he finally relented, "I'm not sure. We...we left him at Three Brothers Rock."

You inhaled sharply. "Aonung," you whispered, horrified. He didn't look at you, the severity of his actions sinking in. Neteyam was a little lost. "Where is that?" He asked you, desperate to know where his brother was. You didn't answer him, still looking at Aonung in disbelief.

"How could you do that?" you asked quietly, and he averted his eyes. You glanced back at Neteyam. "It is way out past the reef," you said. "It is not close, and it is very dangerous for him to be alone."

At your words, Neteyam's face twisted in anger. He stepped towards Aongung again, but you had anticipated his reaction and moved quickly to stand between them and placed a hand on his chest. "No fighting," you told him sternly. "We need to gather a search party for Lo'ak, not waste time giving each other more injuries for me to tend to later on."

Both the boys stared at each other for a moment before Neteyam looked down at you and gave you a barely-perceptible nod. You let your hand drop from his chest and looked over at Aonung. "When did you leave?" You asked him.

He shook his head uncomfortably. "It's been a few hours," he admitted. You closed your eyes with a heavy sigh. Neteyam huffed a sharp breath and grabbed Aonung by the back of his neck. "I'm done with this," he muttered and marched him back to the village.

A search party was quickly organized. Several warriors and divers on skimwings and ilus assembled to search for Lo'ak. With the sun receding behind the planet, you and the rest of your friends were ordered to stay within the Sea Wall.

You saw Neteyam pacing anxiously on the beach, looking out for any sign of his brother's return. You walked up to him carefully. "I'm sure they will find him soon," you assured him, breaking him from his thoughts. He heaved a large sigh and looked out towards the water.

"I should have been with him," he murmured. "This wouldn't have happened if I had been with him." You looked at him with sympathy. "You can't blame yourself," you told him gently. "If anyone is to blame, it is Aonung." He didn't argue with you, and you both knew you were right.

You sat down on the sand with a sigh, and after a moment, Neteyam followed suit and sat down beside you. "I have known him almost my whole life," you said as you sifted some sand between your fingers. "He has always been proud and stubborn, but he has never been malicious." You couldn't deny that Aonung's behavior towards the Sullys before had made you uncomfortable and disappointed, but this was on a whole new level, and you felt as though you didn't even know him at all.

You sighed again and looked over at Neteyam. He was staring out at the water with a blank gaze. You weren't sure what else to say. You couldn't assure him of his brother's safe return because there was a very real chance he was not safe. So, you just sat in silence beside him.

As the evening turned into night, Lo'ak eventually returned unharmed, much to the relief of you and Neteyam. After taking the blame for Aonung, an uneasy but not unfriendly relationship started between him and Lo'ak, and Neteyam put aside his anger for his brother's sake.

The next day, Lo'ak recounted how a lone tulkun had saved him from the akula the day before. After describing the creature who saved his life, Tsireya quickly realized that the tulkun was the outcast Payakan.

"I'm telling you guys, he saved my life," Lo'ak explained insistently. "He is my friend."

Everyone had doubtful looks, but Neteyam stood up with a jaunty smile and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "My baby bro," he said lightheartedly. "The mighty warrior who faced the killer tulkun and lived to tell about it."

Lo'ak was not amused and pushed his brother's hands off of him. "You guys aren't listening," he huffed and walked away. You all called out to him, but he continued away in irritation. Tsireya followed after him, and the others all disbursed to start the day.

You remained sitting there, perplexed at what you had heard. Everyone in the clan knew about the dangerous, young bull who had killed both Na'vi and other tulkun, and Lo'ak's assertions of Payakan's innocence unsettled you. Deep in thought, you hadn't even realized that Neteyam had stayed behind until he asked, "What are you thinking?"

You blinked, startled out of your thoughts. You gave a short sigh. "Tsireya is right," you told him. "If it was Payakan, then your brother is lucky to be alive. Payakan is very dangerous." Neteyam looked out for a moment to where Lo'ak had stormed off. "He seems to think differently," he commented.

You shifted uncomfortably. "I do believe your brother sees Payakan as a friend, but there is a reason for his exile." You looked out at the water and shook your head faintly. "The good thing is that Lo'ak is safe," you told him.

He smiled at you warmly. "That is true," he conceded. "And I appreciate your concern for my brother. It means a lot." You shrugged and replied, "You are my friend. What concerns you concerns me."

He offered his hand to help pull you up. You took it, and he pulled you up effortlessly. After you steadied yourself, you moved to walk off, but Neteyam didn't let go of your hand. You looked up at his face questioningly, and he was staring back at you with a soft smile.

"I'm serious," he told you earnestly. "Your friendship means a lot to me. Thank you." His face was so sincere and his voice so heartfelt that you didn't respond for a moment. "You're welcome," you replied finally. He held your gaze for a moment, the corner of his lips turned upwards, before dropping your hand and walking away to begin the day.

As you watched him disappear, you couldn't help but wonder why it was exactly that your heart was beating so quickly.

Chapter 2

#avatar the way of water #avatar #neteyam fic #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam angst #avatar fanfiction #neteyam x metkayina!reader #kiri sully #loak sully #tuk sully #jake sully #neytiri #aonung #tsireya #slow burn #forbidden lust #forbidden love #forbidden relationship

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA for putting dishes I didn't know were washed in the dishwasher?

SMH this is the stupidest fight but I need outside perspective.

I (33f) still live with my dad (68m); reasons why aren't important it's just been a life thing.

We've lived in the same house since I was an infant, and the house is in great shape except for one thing: we have mice. We never used to this bad, maybe one or two a year, but it's gotten to the point we have to set traps out every night (Dad doesn't believe in humane traps and cats are out of the question).

They've recently started getting into our silverware drawers, making me reluctant to use anything since I don't know how clean anything is; mice pee as they go and it's apparently only visible by blacklight? So anything that looked clean could actually have been dribbled on.

Over the past 6 months I've gotten tired of being the only one who cares and flat out told my dad we needed to do something like hire an exterminator to find where they're getting in and he refused. IDK why, maybe because he knows I'm moving out eventually, and he wants to sell the house when that happens and he figures he can leave it for the next owners? Anyway, I told him he can clean the silverware the next time the mice use the drawer as a litterbox. Well they did the other day, and I reminded him today that he still hadn't cleaned it. He said he would. I checked later and all the poop was gone, but I didn't know if he'd washed everything or just picked up the poop (which he's done in the past and said "It's fine") and started loading everything into the dishwasher. He came in mid-loading and got angry I did that instead of asking him.

So am I the AH for trying to keep us from ingesting mouse droppings?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #unsanitary cw

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sstormyskyess · 3 months

Text

A New Dynamic

author's note: so. this is my first a/b/o fic and uhh i've managed to make it trans! basically in my a/b/o universe people can switch their secondary gender with hormone therapy, just like with trans people and HRT irl, and reader in this fic transitioned from omega to alpha [idk if i explained that perfectly but! please enjoy and also feedback would be nice since i'm new to writing a/b/o]

cw: a/b/o dynamics, smut, male alpha reader, omega gaz, masturbation [from both reader and gaz], general awkwardness because they're exes, knotting

word count: 3500+ [i think this is my longest one shot i've written. uhh may have gotten carried away woops]

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick / M!Reader

“Kyle!” You run up to him with a big grin on your face, pulling him into a hug which he graciously accepts. You bury your face into his shoulder and he does the same, his hands holding onto your shirt as though you might fade away if he lets go.

It’s been almost five years since you last saw your best friend from secondary school and your lover up until he left for enlistment. To say you missed him would be an understatement. You’ve kept in touch with one another through letters and the occasional call here and there, but obviously nothing could compare to being face to face again.

All the way home, your hand is on his thigh and you tell him all about what’s been happening in your life recently. A new promotion at work, shenanigans during a fun night out with friends—friends who Kyle would have to say hello to as well—and some new hobbies you’ve picked up. He shared his own stories, though some of the details had to be axed because of their classified status. You were particularly caught off-guard by him recounting the time he fell out of a helicopter and nearly broke his spine, but that was neither here nor there. At least in his eyes.

Once you pull into the driveway and help him carry all his bags inside, he takes notice of something… interesting. “Are you seeing someone right now, mate?” He asks with a tilt of his head.

You look at him, confused for a good few moments. “...No? Why?” He stares back at you, almost as if he didn’t believe you. “Is something up?”

It just doesn’t add up in his head. If you weren’t in a relationship with someone, then why did your house smell so distinctly of alpha? When he thought about it further, he did think something was off at the train station as well. He must’ve been distracted by his joy seeing you after so long, but thinking back on it, you had an alpha’s scent all over you. He must realize that he was looking at you as if you’d grown a third arm so he quickly shakes his head to recover from his stupor.

“You okay, Kyle?” You raise an eyebrow, equally confused as he is. Why would he assume you’re dating someone? That’s certainly something you would’ve told him before letting him stay at your place. It would be fairly awkward to have two omegas under one roof with you, especially when one of them was in a relationship with you and the other wasn’t. There was a definite possibility of… jealousy sprouting up.

“I’m gonna take my bags upstairs, just uh—gimme a sec.” He says quickly, picking up his stuff and heading up to the guest room he’s staying in for the next month. You stare after him, still left a little confused. You figure you can bring it up later. Maybe he was tired from jet lag or something. You check the time, your eyes widening a bit when you realize you missed your hormone injection, going upstairs to your bathroom and getting all your things ready.

By the time the sun set and you both had finished dinner, Kyle is still trying to rationalize what could possibly be the explanation behind the alpha scent wafting around the room and teasing his olfactory glands. It was almost making his head hurt with how enticing it was.

To be honest, you’re not faring any better. His scent never triggered anything in you when you were an omega, but now he just smells so sweet. You hope you’re doing a decent job of hiding the shuffling you’re doing to try and relieve some of the tension growing in your boxers. It would most definitely throw things off to get all riled up for someone you broke up with years ago. It was amicable between the both of you, of course, but it’s been so long since either of you had contact with each other.

You dwell on it a bit more all while trying to keep your attention on whatever TV show it was that he put on. Every time he tried to get more comfortable, though, he either squished your legs closer together or brushed up every so slightly against the bulge in your pants. You start to wonder if he knows what he’s doing. He had to, right? He couldn’t be doing this by accident.

Swallowing past the lump in your throat, you struggle ignoring the way your cock twitches in your sweatpants when he mutters something about how your couch is too lumpy and needs to be replaced before readjusting his legs and hips. His motions press your legs together and a shiver goes up your spine when the cloth of your boxers rubs up against your erection. You groan quietly and clear your throat when Kyle shoots a look your way. “You alright, mate?” He asks all too innocently.

You reach over to the end table to grab your glass of water with shaky hands, taking a long sip from it. “I’m fine.” Your voice is strained when you speak and you quickly set the glass back down before pulling a blanket over your lap as nonchalantly as you can manage.

You stare forward with unfocused eyes before you finally stand up, the intoxicating scent of sandalwood and vanilla permeating around the living room too much to handle. “I’ll—I’ll be right back.” You eke out, going to the downstairs bathroom in a hurry. You don’t see the concern on his face before you’re shutting the door and releasing a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding.

The moment you have your back against the cool tile on the walls, you’re doing everything you can to stave off what you can feel building up against your will. This couldn’t be happening, not now. You couldn’t be going into rut the very day your best friend was finally seeing you again after all this time. You palm at the bulge in your sweatpants, groaning as quietly as you can and tilting your head back against the wall.

Cursing under your breath, you begrudgingly yet desperately yank your pants and underwear down and take hold of your hard cock. You try taking deep breaths to stop yourself from losing yourself to the pleasure. It was so amplified by the remnants of Kyle’s scent that had seeped into your shirt just from him sitting next to him. It’s so much more powerful than it was earlier in the day, so you know your rut is coming.

You’re in there for a few more minutes than would’ve been normal, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care when your cum spills all over your fist. It covers your fingers and your softening cock and deflating knot when you give yourself a few more pumps to ride out your orgasm. But it wasn’t enough. You regretfully give in to the fact you would have to turn in early for the night.

After washing your hand off in the sink, you head back to the living room and look at Kyle, who was on his phone, scrolling mindlessly. “Uh, Kyle? I’m gonna head to bed, I’m super tired.”

He sits up and turns to you, tilting his head. “Are you okay? What’s up?” He stands up and starts walking over to you until you put your hands up defensively. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, I think I might be sick. I don’t wanna get you sick too, so I’m just going to bed.” You stumble through your weak excuse, voice cracking a bit when you neared the end of your sentence. You stare at each other for a few more moments before you turn away and rush up the stairs, closing your door a little more forcefully than you would’ve liked.

A couple hours pass and you’ve nearly pushed yourself to the brink of fainting with how many times you’ve brought yourself to orgasm. You’re glad that you had enough foresight to put a towel down before falling down the rabbit hole; if you hadn’t you would have to change your sheets before you went to sleep with how much cum you’ve expended.

Your chest heaves and sweat drips down your forehead. You’ve long since gotten rid of your clothes, now laid bare in the center of your bed. One thing you found after you transitioned from omega to alpha was that your ruts were much more intense than a natural alpha’s was. Your doctor told you it was something about the remnants of your omega biology making your ruts closer to heats.

The knot at the base of your cock was aching with how thick it’s gotten. The amount of blood rushing down there was making you lightheaded, but you just couldn’t stop. Your body won’t let you stop, you need to keep going. You feel like you might collapse in on yourself if you stopped for even a second.

But the muscles in your arm are tiring by the minute and your hand is starting to give out on you. Even thrusting up into your fist isn’t working because your fingers are cramping up from how hard you were squeezing your dick. You swallow thickly, already getting dehydrated, but you’d rather die than make a fool of yourself trying to stumble to the kitchen to get water—plus, Kyle didn’t need to know you went into a rut because of him. So, through all the brain fog, you remind yourself to listen for Kyle in his room to get you an opportunity to get a much needed glass of water.

You’ve long since given up on trying to stay quiet, deciding to forgo suppressing your wanton moans and desperate whines. Every now and then, shame builds up in your gut because Kyle’s name passes your lips, pleading for him despite the knowledge you shouldn’t want him so bad. But you want him anyway, and it almost made you feel too guilty to keep going. Almost.

Little did you know, Kyle’s in the guest room separated by just one wall, and he can hear everything. Every groan and huff and grunt. Every call of his name. And he has his hand in his pants, stroking himself with the same guilt that you’re feeling. He twisted his hand around his cock languidly, his palm closing around the tip with every few strokes.

When he walked past your room on the way to his earlier that night, he got the strongest whiff of your musk that he’d ever gotten, even when the two of you were in a relationship so many years ago. It all finally clicked in his mind at that moment.

He’s heard about people replacing their designation a couple times before, but he never expected you to be one of those people. Through his entire time knowing you, you never expressed any interest in that kind of thing. But quite honestly, he doesn’t care. All he knows is that you were going through a rut and God, did he want to be there to help you.

After he recovers from a couple quick orgasms and cleans up the mess as best he could, he gets up and deliberates for a bit. He could offer you some assistance, but imagine the consequences. He would never be able to live it down if he asked to help you with your rut and you turned him away point blank. The embarrassment would be too much. He sighs and gets himself together to at the very least get you some water.

He knocks on your door with a glass of water in hand a couple minutes later and hears you stumble off your bed with a harsh thud. “J-Just a sec!” You call out to him, trying to pull on a pair of sweatpants as fast as possible after wiping your sticky hand off on the towel.

When you open your door, your skin is practically dripping with sweat and your limbs are shaking just a bit. “Sorry, just, uh—tripped. Y’caught me off guard,” is what you’re able to muster up, but not without a voice crack in the middle. “What did you need?”

He looks almost as embarrassed as you do, with his eyes darting everywhere but you. “Um… I just thought I’d bring you some water.” He offers the glass to you and you take it, knowing at that moment that he’s heard everything you’ve been doing. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip nervously and you clear your throat, trying to stave off that ever-present feeling of guilt that settled in your stomach from the moment you got into bed. “Thanks. I appreciate it.” You mumble, looking at the floor.

The silence is awkward while you stand there in front of each other. You desperately urge the floor to swallow you whole to avoid the question you know he’s going to ask you, but instead you settle for broaching the subject yourself.

“Can you help me with—”

“Do you want me to help—”

You end up cutting each other off and you internally curse whatever higher power put you in this situation. They had to be out to get you at this point.

You shift from one foot to the other uncomfortably. Through all of this tension, your throbbing boner still hadn’t gone away. In fact, it was actually getting worse with Kyle standing barely a foot away from you, forcing his tantalizing scent to fill your nostrils and sending wave after devastating wave of desire through your body and straight to your cock.

He sees your fingers clinging to the door frame where you were holding it to keep yourself upright, the veins in your hand springing to the surface with how tightly you were grasping it. He puts a hand on your still bare chest, making your hairs stand on end from the skin on skin contact. “Here, just—go lay down, okay? You can barely stand, c’mon…” He takes the water from your hand and carefully herds you over to the bed, letting you collapse on it.

He could smell the sex in here; it was overpowering, making his pupils dilate and his mouth water. You pant with little huffs of breath looking up at him with glassy eyes filled with unbridled lust. “Kyle—fuck, please let me fuck you, please,” you groan.

He snaps out of the trance he got locked into from watching you slip your sweats down to let your cock spring free and land, heavy and dripping, onto your stomach. You reach for the waistband of his shorts, tugging on them. He gets the hint and pulls his shirt and bottoms off before climbing onto the bed and sitting on his knees.

You shakily roll over and wrap your arms around him from behind. You lean over him, urging him on all fours. He gasps when he feels your swollen, rock hard cock slide against his slick, wet asshole. Memories of how well you fill him come flooding back as though it was yesterday, sending a shiver down his spine. He mumbles your name and glances back at you when he notices you’ve gone rigid behind him. “Are you okay—”

He yelps when you spear him on your cock all of a sudden, sinking all the way to the hilt. You let out a deep, long moan at the feeling of his hole stretching to make room for you. “Shit—Kyle…” You drag out his name, burying your face in the space between his shoulder blades. “You feel so good, so so good,” you babble on, halfway incoherent with his name on your lips over and over.

Kyle reaches back and rests his hand on your shoulder, trailing it up to pet along the back of your neck and eliciting a pleased grumble in the pits of your chest. You rock your hips back and forth ever so slightly, working him open to make room for your dick for a while. He moans at the way one of the ridges of your cock rubs against his prostate over and over.

When you felt he was ready for you, you start to thrust into him properly, pulling out almost to the tip and then right back in slowly. “Y’feel good, love,” he says, a small quake in his voice and a small smile on his face.

Your lips connect to his neck, nibbling and sucking on his skin roughly, wanting to leave bruises that would last for a good while. You needed to make him yours. He accepts every mark you leave along his neck and shoulders, his smile growing the longer your cock dragged along his walls. You luckily managed to keep teeth away from where you last left your mark on him, narrowly avoiding the sensitive patch of skin.

You start to groan quietly, body shaking from the way you’re tensing your muscles and holding back. He takes notice of your reluctance and looks back at you, concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asks and you whine, your fingers starting to dig into the meat of his stomach where your arms were wrapped around him. “D-Don’t want… to hurt you, Kyle,” you pant, voice breathy. “Not gonna be able to stop myself…”

“You’re not gonna hurt me, love. Don’t hold back, it’s okay,” he reassures you with a soft voice, his tone releasing the tension in your body.

His words renewed the overwhelming desperation clouding your mind. You clench your teeth and, with a deep, rumbling growl, you speed up your pace and your thrusts become rough, merciless. He tosses his head back in surprise and moans your name sharply. The power of your hips slamming into him ends up pushing him face down and ass up, his face getting buried in the sheets.

His moans get chopped up in time with each time you pump your cock into his hole, his whole body getting jostled forward from the force you’re exerting. Goosebumps rise on his skin as your groans reverberate through your chest into his back and your shaft twitches against his walls, all the sensations overwhelming him. To ground himself, he lifts one of his arms up from where it had been laying uselessly by his side and reaches behind him to grab your shoulder.

Kyle feels his orgasm sneak up on him, having gotten lost in the pleasure of being with you again, but in so many new ways. “Shit, love—fuck—I want your knot baby, please,” he cries, tossing his head back. He never imagined he would be asking you for such a thing; you’ve had sex with each other many, many times before, but never like this. This was something else entirely, and it felt so, so good.

You groan in response to his words. You’ve never heard him so desperate before, and it fills you with a deep sense of confidence. It’s not as though you haven’t slept with anyone since splitting with Kyle, but something about him begging for you sent you into a frenzy.

He yelps at the sudden change in pace. You unintentionally forced him down into a prone bone position, your full weight on top of him and your arms pulling him into every thrust. Your teeth latch onto the back of his neck and scruff him with a growl. You vaguely register that you’re trying to say something despite your mouth being occupied, but you can’t find it in yourself to stop, no matter how embarrassing it might be later.

He shivers at the feeling of your saliva dripping down his neck and seeping into the bedsheets, joining the pool of his own drool where his mouth was hanging open from pure ecstasy. Your cock was hitting the perfect angle in this position, flat on his stomach and his legs pinned between your knees. With you on top of him it was easier to feel your swelling knot catching on the rim of his wet asshole. He slowly joins you in your mindless babbling, begging and pleading for you to give him that sweet release.

“I-I missed you so much, love, oh God—please, want you to fill me up, please, please, please—!” He wails when he cums, his spend getting caught under his body and wetting the sheets along with a wave of slick gushing out of his hole past your dick. It was the most intense orgasm he’s had in ages, all because of you.

The clutch of his walls fluttering around you makes you finally let go of his neck and throw your head back with a sharp groan. “Fuck—fuck!” You hiss, squeezing him tighter in your arms and shoving your knot into his tight, wet heat. Your cum floods his hole, filling him up to the brim. He sobs at the warm feeling. It felt so different with your knot added to the mix, stretching him wide.

You relax on top of him, with a heavy sigh, taking hold of him and rolling you both on your sides to spoon him and hold him close. You nuzzle your face in his neck, already rocking your hips into him again needily. It was gonna be a long night, he thinks to himself while running his hands up and down your forearms where they lay against his stomach.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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heyidkyay · 1 year

Text

Who can say no to bridezilla? |

Part one

I had to write another after seeing the love the last one got, thank you btw! I've actually missed writing a fair bit so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

> With this one, I started and just couldn't stop, so I might make it into a couple of parts? Maybe? Idk, let me know if that's something anyone would want:)

Summary: With no date to your sister's wedding, what are you to do? No worries though, she's already got it covered, well, sort of...

Masterlist

"It's just annoying. I mean- don't get me wrong, I'm proper chuffed you're finally tying the knot and all, but it's just a shitty situation.” I huffed defeatedly as I leant up against the cabinet, watching as a grey sky crept by my kitchen window.

“I know,” I heard my sister sigh, her voice soft even through the phone’s tinny speaker. “And I’m sorry, but you know what mum’s like, y/n/n. She’ll be devastated when she finds out you’re coming alone! That, and the fact that if you don’t end up bringing a plus one, all of my wedding photos will turn out uneven… And I really, really need this day to be perfect! I want you to think its perfect! To enjoy it! Not just be sat there on the sidelines, watching.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment as I ran a hand through my hair. It was in dire need of a good wash, but between my job and the stress of having recently moved, I hadn’t found the time to even sit down. Still, I could understand where my sister was coming from, and I really wanted her to have the picture perfect day she’d always dreamt of too. But, we both knew that she was laying it on thick now, and with me being the eldest, we both also knew I’d do just about anything to make her happy. This though, was a big ask.

“Listen, yes things ended badly between Alex and I, but now that it’s all finally over, I just don’t think I have it in me to try and force myself to find someone else to replace him. Not yet, anyway.”

Alex, being my most recent ex. We’d parted ways about three months ago now- though ‘parted’ definitely wasn’t the term I preferred to use. But how else was I supposed to describe him cheating and me having to walk in on it happening? With my best mate of all people, too.

Yeah, that hadn’t been the easiest of transitions, especially since I’d also been flat-sharing with the pair of them.

But my sister knew all of this already.

“Mum will just have to worry about me being lonely a little longer, y/s/n, and I'll just have to prepare myself to deal with her constant fussing over me for the entire evening.” I attempted to cajole, not wanting to outright deny her. “As well as the rest of my life, I suppose.” I added unhelpfully under my breath.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mum, God, she was just about the only person who truly understood me. That, and she’d done absolutely everything within her power to make sure that her kids had gotten everything she'd never had. She was an utter saint. But saying that, she could also tend to be a tad bit… overbearing.

“Ah come on, she won’t be that bad!” My sister fired back before she then paused, as though she’d only just understood the words she’d spoken. I couldn’t not let out an airy chuckle when she sighed, “Alright, fair enough, she will be. But! If you just ask someone along, you won’t have to spend my entire wedding day avoiding her!”

I groaned, rubbing at my face.

“It’s been months since I ended things with Al- mum knows that, babe. I’ve had her on the phone almost every day since, hassling and FaceTiming me constantly to make sure I’m still alive. She even sends down little care packages in the post! Care. Packages. Y/s/n.”

I actually looked over towards the most recent arrival which had awoken me early the previous morning. It was still where I’d left it, chucked beside the foot of the sofa, barely opened.

Again, I adored the woman, but she tended to be a fair bit dramatic. I could really see where my sister got it all from.

“Besides, how am I supposed to convince her I'm perfectly fine with someone I've only just met hanging off my arm?” I added, puttering on over to the sink to fill the kettle. I think I could feel another migraine coming on.

“I get it, y/n, I do. And I’m also sorry for suggesting it, but if I knew of an easier solution that would magically solve all our problems, then I would. But I don’t, and even though I want the biggest day of my life to go perfectly, I also want you happy.”

I could hear the sincerity in her voice and as I picked up my mug and tossed a teabag inside, I could also picture her sat at the dinning table back home, foot anxiously tapping away in an attempt to conjure up a better idea. She was a nitpicker, right down to the very bone, and I could only guess the amount of stress she was putting herself under in order to make sure that her wedding went off without a hitch for all those involved.

After a few moments of shared silence, she spoke again, “To be honest, I can’t believe you stuck around as long as you did.”

My mind wandered back to all the time I’d wasted on Alex. We’d met growing up, he’d been our next door neighbour. We went through all of primary school despising one another, only to end up in the same friendship group come secondary. It didn’t take much more than that for us to suddenly become joined at the hip. He’d been my best mate, and when we finally got together, I’d pictured the rest of our lives spent with one another.

He’d honestly really fucked me over in the end. I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend that day, but both of my closest friends, as well as a few others who’d taken his side in the awkward aftermath that came when most relationships ended. But that being said, I felt more at peace now than I had in a long while. With every relationship came troubles, and by the end of ours, I guessed we had more than most. That wasn’t me making excuses for him though- nah, he was still a massive prick.

“Yeah, me either.” I admitted, a breathy chuckle slipping from my lips as I softly shook away the rest of my thoughts.

“I am proud of you though, for moving on as well as you have. Always knew he was an arse.” Came my sister’s voice and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

I grinned, so very thankful for her.

“God, was he!” I agreed instantly, listening to her giggle as I laughed, “A right tit.”

“Oh!”

I blinked at the sudden exclamation heard from down the phone and furrowed my brow slightly as the last of my laughter tittered out, “You alright there?”

“Uh, yes! I’ve just had the most perfect idea!” My sister declared, not even giving me the chance to question her before she was off on a tangent. “Forget about having to chat anyone up, or having some godawful colleague of yours to pose as a fake date- I’ve already got the perfect person for you!”

I felt my mouth part slightly in confusion and was just about to speak up when she beat me to the punch, seemingly excited about whatever plan she’d formulated in her head.

“Right, okay, just listen. I know this guy, a friend of Adam’s, yeah? He’s been off of relationships for a little while now, not really looking for anything at the moment ‘cause he’s been away for a bit. Busy, and what not. But y/n, he’s a right charmer, proper looker, too! He also happens to owe Ad a big favour!”

I closed my eyes for a moment, frowning. “What are you getting at here, y/s/n?”

The huff that sounded then, all but echoed in my ear and I couldn’t not roll my eyes at her dramatics.

“He can be your date, y/n! I know he’d be well up for helping us out if I give him free-rein to do what he pleases, always up for a laugh, and he'll be able to keep mum off your back about finding someone new. Plus, I can guarantee you a good time because I just know that the two of you will instantly hit it off.”

“What?” I squawk, far beyond perplexed. “You can’t just ask some randomer to pretend to be my date to your wedding, y/s/n! Are you actually insane?”

“He’s not some randomer though! I know him through Adam, and Adam’s known him since school!” My sister pestered, and I could practically feel her excitement bubbling up from down the phone. “He’s well lovely, nothing like He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named— Plus! When we were first introduced, I’d had the thought of setting him up with you, but well, you know, you were still with What’s-his-face and you seemed happy enough.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, to be frank. And went to say as much, when she cut me off again.

“Come on, y/n/n! It’ll be so great! And besides, who would it hurt? You’re both single, not looking for any sort of commitment, and both without dates to my wedding. Mum’ll be over the moon about it, too, once I let her know! And this way, I won’t have to fork out God knows how much on another two plus ones.”

“I’m really not sure about- hang on, he’s already going?” I questioned, confusedly.

“He’s Adam’s best mate, of course he’s coming!”

“I thought Ad’s best mate was George?”

Her eye roll was implied when she retorted. “You can have more than one best mate, y/n. Look, you worry too much. I’ll have Ad phone him now and ask, yeah? If he agrees, I’ll get him to message you.” I was still beyond fucking baffled and could hear the obvious delight which lined my sister’s tone. “That settles it, I’ll do it right now. So talk to you later, yeah? God, I'm so excited! Love you lots!”

Then she was gone.

I let the phone fall away from my ear and stared down at the blank screen with vacant eyes.

What the fuck.

“What the actual fuck?” I found myself asking my empty flat aloud. I rubbed at my forehead tiredly before I ultimately tossed the device onto the pile of cushions perched on the nearest armchair, leaving it there to hopefully die, or something.

Didn’t quite turn out that way though. I ended up fishing it out about an hour later when I’d started running a bath, needing it for it’s musical capabilities.

It was then, after the tub had filled and I’d slipped into its mountain of bubbles, that a notification disturbed the perfect playlist I’d curated.

I grumbled as I pulled myself up and out of the water.

It was a text from an unknown number, I frowned as I unlocked the device.

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

I hadn’t actually believed that she would do it. Ask someone to be her sister’s fake date to her own wedding! But I really, really, really should’ve known better.

And so I tossed the phone back on the side, submerging my body in its entirety back under the soapy water in hopes that I might just drown. She was so dead.

—

Maybe I’d been a tad bit hasty in scheduling the perfectly timed event of my sister’s impending death.

Listen, I could admit when I was being a total drama queen, but my sister had well and truly pushed her luck this time around, and so I’d been quick in my judgement of the situation. Perhaps a little too quick.

Several weeks had passed since that day and in the time leading up to my sister’s wedding, I had spent a good portion of it texting Matty back and forth.

That was his name, by the way- the poor bloke my sister had roped into accompanying me on her big day. And if I was being honest, I was rather grateful for the fact that she’d chosen to stick her big nose in where it wasn’t wanted and set the whole thing up. Though, I might have been better inclined to admit so if she’d been a whole lot more normal and just introduced the two of us in a much more conventional way.

When Matty had texted me that first night- rather delighted by the fact that he’d been gifted the privilege of a front row ticket to the shit-show I was still calling my life- I’d been dreading the entire thing.

He had taken the utter piss out of me in all truth, and had then proceeded to rinse the shit out of the entire situation for all it was worth. But, strangely enough, he’d done so in the very best way.

I can honestly admit that I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have than when I’m messaging Matty. He was everything my sister had described and more.

He knew how to have a good laugh, when to flirt or to tease, and he was pretty open about the things that mattered most to him once you’d bartered your way past that overzealous ego of his. He also appeared to love music almost as much as me, which was honestly saying something. And he spoke highly of his family and friends, in length too when they had come up here and there in conversation.

I really hadn’t expected to have grown so close to him in the time we’d spent texting back and forth, but there was just something about him, in his nature maybe, that just made things feel so easy.

It was so, so strange, because I hadn’t even seen a picture of the bloke, and I’d only ever heard a few short snippets of his voice through the odd voicenote we'd shared here and there, but I’d openly call him a close friend to any one who now asked. It was as though we’d known each other for years.

And I really wasn’t one to let many people in, I liked the small family I had created for myself, one full of friends I’d known for eons, and relatives that meant the world to me. So to have Matty slip by all of my defences so effortlessly, was something I thought a lot about.

“Oi,” Jamie suddenly prompted with a bright grin, a jabbing finger to my side untangled me from my thoughts. "You ready for the big day?

I’d been stood a little way a way from the chapel’s entrance, waiting for everyone else to arrive, and was seemingly a little lost in my own head. Apprehensive, maybe. Jamie had startled me slightly as I’d not even heard his approach, but I allowed myself to relax somewhat as I gave him the once over.

“Just about.” I replied with a teasing smile, “Clean up nice, Jim. Loving the suit.”

Jamie was my cousin, but we were so close in age I practically saw him as another brother. We’d grown up together, which also meant that he’d been close with Alex too.

Though, he’d actually been one of the few people who had taken my side after everything that happened, even with the two boys having been rather close since they were kids. I was glad to still have him, so glad, even if it did mean that I still felt a little guilty about the whole thing from time to time.

“Don’t look too surprised.” Jamie laughed at my light jab as he pulled me in for a short hug. “Though, you are looking good too, I suppose.”

I swatted at his shoulder when we parted. “Don’t be a twat, you know I’m the best dressed here.”

“Oh yeah…” He dragged out sarcastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Definitely ready to upstage the bride.”

I just rolled my eyes as I laughed. “Where is bridezilla anyway?”

“Just saw her with your mum, actually. They were fussing about something or other, but I reckon they ended up sorting it out.” Jamie replied with a small shrug as he pulled on his lapels.

I let my eyes roam around the surrounding area again for a brief moment as he did, skirting over the mass of maple trees, which were now in full bloom, and the familiar faces that crowded the gravel drive.

“Exactly why I can never see myself going through with any of this.” I commented offhandedly, too preoccupied with the anxiety of finally meeting my so called date.

My gaze found Jamie’s again when he wearily voiced, “What- even when you were with…?” His voice held a hint of genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, in truth, I’d never really given it much thought, my wedding day. Even after having been with Alex all that time. I could just never see it happening for myself.

“Not really.” I said, “How about you though? Can you picture yourself all kitted out and waiting at the end of that aisle?”

Jamie laughed, his eyes squinted. “Not too sure about that. I mean I like the sound of it, spending forever with someone and all, but I dunno who’d be brave enough to have me.”

I snorted as I clapped my cousin’s shoulder in condolence. “They’d have to be a tad bit mental, Jim. But they’d also be fucking lucky too. You’re a gooden.”

“Love you.” Jamie smiled as he enveloped me in another hug. He was a lot taller than me now so he all but squished me into his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to mind even as I jokingly shoved him away.

“Stop, you’ll ruin my hair and makeup.” I scolded lightly, wrinkling my nose.

Jamie just chuckled, “Since when have you cared about any of that crap?”

“Never.” I grinned back at him in retort, “Just didn’t want you sliming all over me, snail-face.”

“You’re a right fucking weirdo, you know that?”

“I do, Jim, I do.”

I fixed the side of my dress whilst my cousin just rolled his eyes, seemingly content with waiting beside me now.

When I’d made sure that I was still somewhat presentable, mostly for both my mother and sister’s sake, I allowed myself to reevaluate the rest of the oncoming arrivers. Still no sign of that date of mine.

I sighed quietly, checking the time on my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a text.

“You all good there?” Jamie questioned quietly after a few minutes, I looked up to find him staring down at me with a concerned frown.

I hummed, “Fine, why?”

“Just seem a bit nervous, not like you that.”

I huffed a light laugh before shooting my cousin a somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, maybe a bit. It’s just I’m waiting for my date to arrive and-”

As I uttered that sentence Jamie’s eyes all but boggled out of his head, “You never said nowt about a date!”

I gave him a sheepish grin, I hadn’t really mentioned Matty to anyone. Only having allowed my sister to pass on the message that I wasn’t turning up completely alone to my mum. I’d not given much thought to anyone else’s reaction.

“Um, yeah.” I replied, feeling a little uncomfortable upon having to mentally decide whether I should let Jamie in on the truth or not. The kid had always been a massive blabbermouth though, he just couldn’t seem to help it, but I knew he’d understand wholeheartedly. “It's new, but it’s going good…”

Jamie’s smile was wide enough that I could practically see either side of his molars, a megawatt sort of thing.

Immediately I felt my stomach churn. There was that guilt again.

“I’m well chuffed for you, y/n/n! Can’t wait to meet the lucky fella- when’s he set to get here? Didn’t you come together? Where’d you even meet him, anyhow? Does y/s/n know you’re bringing him along?”

Fucking hell, what was with the twenty-one questions?

I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t realise how hard this was all going to be. Was the rest of the day going to be like this? All consuming guilt?

“Er, should be here soon enough, I think.” I found myself saying, playing with one of the rings on my left hand. “Something came up last minute- his mum needed him. Urgent, you know how it is… and he’s a right mummy’s boy that one! So I suggested he just meet me here, and well, he was grateful. Felt really bad though. Promised he wouldn’t be late and all that.”

Jamie seemed to be eating it up and just kept nodding along, making me feel as though I had to continue on.

“We actually met through y/s/n, weirdly enough. She introduced us when I’d popped round to surprise her a while back. He’s close with Adam, best mates and that. We just hit it off I guess.”

I silently cursed myself and my ability to not know when to stop. fucking. rambling. But I was too nervous to think up a believable enough lie and so I’d decided to just tangent off from the truth. It was close enough, I figured.

“Awh, I’m so happy for you, cuz. Congrats!” Jamie said, obviously thrilled for me, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Know why you’re so wound up now, your mum will be on your case all night!”

We shared a laugh. Because wasn’t that the fucking truth.

I tried my hardest to hide my slight grimace though as I allowed my cousin to congratulate me. During a few shared conversations with Matty, we had thought up a convincing enough plan, but now that it was time to put it all into action I wasn’t sure we’d actually be able to pull it off. Especially with the reminder that we’d be lying to my mum of all people.

“Oh shit, there’s Laura! Best head on over.” Jamie suddenly announced, his eyes focused on a brunette in the distance, far enough that I had to squint to even make out who he was referring to.

But before I could comment or question Jamie’s twenty/twenty vision, my cousin was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, all but ready to run off.

He turned to me before he did though, squeezing my shoulder slightly. “Make sure you come find me with this date of yours, yeah? Gotta make sure he meets the mark.” I smiled, a little touched. “But I truly am buzzing for you, y/n. After everything, you deserve someone good.”

My chest ached and as my cousin gave me one final grin I couldn’t help but feel a little like the grinch, my heart had to have shrunk to half its size at the very thought of having just lied to Jamie.

I couldn’t linger too long on the regret I felt though as my phone buzzed in my hand. Immediately I peered down at it, chewing on my lower lip.

As the screen lit up, I frowned. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

Matty had just messaged, but before I could even think up a reply I heard a few of the other guests around me start to whisper. I glanced up and over to where I then heard a muffled squeal. I pulled a face as I watched one of my younger cousins, Arielle who’d just turned fifteen, jump behind Jordan, her older brother.

I shook my head and pivoted slightly, eyes scanning over the rest of the guests who had yet to make their way into the chapel. A few of the women were openly staring down the gravel drive, gossiping amongst themselves, and I couldn’t not follow their gaze.

I was really confused, everyone’s attention seemed to be drawn towards the figure who was wandering closer. He was decent looking, I supposed, clad in a fitted tuxedo he'd paired with a black bowtie and an uncaring expression, but he was no James Dean. So I couldn’t quite get my head round why they were all so bothered.

As he grew nearer, I took in what I could. The dark narrowed eyes hidden beneath a pair of furrowed brows, the cropped cut of the hair he’d greased back, the handful of silver rings which cluttered his fingers. What caused me to pause though was the cigarette, which hung effortlessly from his bottom lip. Because, shit.

Instantly my focus moved back down to where my phone screen was now dimming and I quickly tapped at the home screen to view the last message I’d been sent.

Keep an eye out for the oncoming smoker, alright x

My heartbeat quickened, and my gaze flitted back and forth between the approaching figure and the text. Surely it couldn’t have been anyone else.

“Sweetheart?” A voice called out with a sure northern twang, erupting goosebumps up both of my arms. I glanced up.

Sure enough it was him, he’d been the only one to ever call me that.

My throat grew dry, “Fuck me.”

“Little early for that, I reckon. Heard about there being an open bar though, buy me a drink and we can talk again later, yeah?” The man ribbed, smirking as he plucked the fag from his lip. He drew closer and I was taken back a bit from how confident he appeared, almost identical to the way he seemed over the phone. But now in tenfold.

"God, sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with the back of my hand as I shook my head to try and cover my reddening cheeks. “Didn’t expect, well- this.” I added, only furthering my embarrassment by vaguely gesturing towards him.

Matty’s grin dimmed almost immediately then, and I frowned.

“Hang on, you are Matty, right? The same Matty I’ve been messaging for weeks. The guy who texts me at all hours of the night going on about how ripe a banana has to be before you can eat it… and who sends me little voice memos of theme tunes he’s rewritten so that they sound aesthetically more pleasing?”

The man looked confused for a moment, and his brown eyes surveyed me before he ultimately chuckled. I blinked at the sudden change in behaviour.

“Guess you could put it like that.” Matty laughed once more, this time a little more airily. And God, did I want to listen to it on repeat. I’d thought about it once or twice, what it would be like to hear him laugh, to listen to him talk. “Hope you weren’t half-expecting some model to come waltzing in here. I mean, I’m fit but I can only do so much, babe.”

It was said jokingly and though Matty was probably one of the most vainest people I’d had the pleasure of meeting, I also knew that there was some genuine apprehension in his eyes. Almost like he’d been both dreading and craving this moment as much as I had.

“Fuck off! Model.” I scoffed, and laughed alongside him as I shook my head. But then I peered around at the few who were still staring and was now suddenly hyperaware of them all. I didn’t really think too much about it as I stepped in closer to shield him somewhat. “Christ, Matty. Feels like you’ve just walked off an album cover or something, with the way you’ve got everyone leering at you.”

And wow. I watched in slight disbelief as Matty scratched at the back his neck with a small, almost bashful smile. I took note of the small hoop he had cuffed around his lobe.

“Piss off.” The man chuckled, finding his feet again as he realised the proximity we now held. “Reckon they’re all looking at you though.” He commented, looking me over with a sly smile. “Hann painted a good picture, but you’ve exceeded all expectations, darling.”

I couldn’t help but smirk, regaining my usual confidence. “Spent a lot of time thinking about me, have you Healy?”

Matty’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, his unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers in the small space that separated our bodies.

“You’d know all about that, babe. Your first words, if I do recall, were 'fuck me'. And though I’d be happy to comply with your reasonable request, I don’t think Adam, or your sister, would very much approve of me taking you in front of all these lovely people.”

I hummed mischievously, eyeing him. Yeah, this was my Matty alright.

“Can’t say I’ll come to regret those words.” Then, before Matty could even think up another retort, I wound my arm around his and started leading us in towards the chapel. “Best play the part, yeah?”

And I had to dampen my grin when I heard the man’s joyous laughter sound beside me. Ignoring all of the other onlookers to sneak a peak over at him, I found myself loving the squinted grin he made as he tucked his cigarette behind his ear.

This night would definitely be memorable.

Part two >

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angel-of-the-moons · 6 months

Text

Nothing Is Lost

Khonshu x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Mentions of attempted sexual assault, death, child death, certain amounts of grief, mentions of incestual marriages (It's ancient Egypt, y'all c'mon) canon divergence/merging

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: Hah! Betcha I had y'all convinced it was Khonshu creeping through the window, didn't I? :D But also yeah, there's gonna be some inaccuracies here and there while I merge the show and comics (hello, it's fanfiction, duh) Also we get more backstory on Jezebel! Also idk why but this chapter feels off to me, maybe I'll be able to comprehend better (and possibly make edits) once I've had some sleep!

Taglist: @drinkingwithkhonshu

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Chapter 5:

Pomegranates

"And you're positive it's her?"

Jezebel gripped at the inside of her wrist, knuckles white. She swore she could feel the scales burning her palm.

"I know it's her. It has to be." She affirms.

Zephyr croaked from his perch nearby at the man who stood in a darkened corner of the room.

His hands clasped behind his back, his stark white suit stood out from the rest of him (save for the bots of golden button-up that peaked from beneath his collar). A cleanly shaven head, tanned skin and dark, piercing eyes fixing Jezebel with an intense glare from behind his glasses.

"Jezebel, there is no such thing, really, as knowing, and at the same time thinking something has to be what you want it to be."

"Yehya..." She hissed through her teeth, pressing her fingertips to her temple.

"I don't... I can't explain it to you. You don't understand. I know it's her. I don't know how I do, but... I just do. Trust me, okay?" She looked up at him, her brows softly pinched in a plea.

"I would never do anything to cause Him harm. If I ever did I would sooner kill myself. This could... This could lift Him up, Yehya..." She said to him.

"If it wasn't for your intervention, as well as Khonshu's... I would be dead like almost all of Ammit's blind followers. I would rather my heart serve the Moon, than serve the Soul-Eater."

"Well, Jake Lockley saw to that loose end being tied." Yehya Badr sighed, his posture slumping somewhat as he paced.

He looked at the small golden idol depicting Khonshu, the moon disc proudly displayed upon his head, and his gaze softened.

"Yes, He seems rather keen on utilizing Jake, lately. Whether or not Marc knows about him I cannot say, yet. I must admit, I missed Khonshu's voice whilst he was away, dealing with Spector's insistence on letting his alter, Steven Grant live a "normal" life..." His fingers brushed the base of the statue.

"I just wish he came to me for help. One Fist isn't enough to defend the world."

"It is a war on more than one front. Two Fists means He has more than one weapon to defend the innocent in different places." Jezebel said, sipping her spicy tea.

"Perhaps Khonshu kept you here to carry out his will in his absence? He trusts you enough, believes in your abilities enough that he doesn't need to hang over your shoulders like he does with that Spector fellow and his... brothers."

"Maybe you're right." Yehya said, tilting his head as her turned to look at her again.

"But we're getting off track." He moved to sit in the chair across from her, gingerly holding the teacup in his large hand as he sipped silently.

"You've seen her?" Jezebel asked, quirking a brow.

"Yes. And frankly, she looks like death. She looks like she isn't sleeping, or eating. I'm honestly curious as to when was the last time she saw a doctor."

"There's a reason for that." Jezebel set her cup on the small plate with a clink.

"And that is..." He asked, raising an eyebrow in return.

"She came to me almost a week ago, now. She's been having what she assumed were dreams, but from the little context she's been able to disclose they sound like... visions."

"And these dreams only happened after..."

"She's had them her whole life. They've gotten more intense, more disturbing to her after I gave her the statue and told her to pray to Khonshu for protection."

She reached out to the crystal ball in the middle of the table and waved her hand over it. Briefly, an image of the moon swirled in its depths, before vanishing.

She showed him the conversation she'd had with you, the things you said happened, what you dreamt and what happened to the man who tried to rape you.

Yehya's brow furrowed deeply as he listened, absorbing every detail before the images in the crystal vanished.

"...That does sound concerning. You... Do you think Khonshu himself saved her? Directly?"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not." Jezebel sighed. "She can't ascertain any details of her dreams for me to build more, and well... Given that it has been so long, perhaps she has access to magic, like I do. It can explain some of the things she dreams, her "feeling" as she describes it... Things change, though that body isn't the original, who is to say she doesn't have a gift for magic in this life?"

"You're a mystic. A priestess. This woman... She cleans offices." He said skeptically, leaning back in the chair.

"Merit was simply the cousin of a wealthy man." Jezebel said, her gaze narrowing sharply. "She was a scholar, a scribe. That isn't much higher than a cleaner, these days."

"...A scribe with the ear and arm of a god." He murmured.

He met her gaze with his own.

"But you don't know for certain."

"It... It might not be Merit. It could be someone else, but I just..." Jezebel ran a hand through her hair.

"I feel it, Yehya. Inside me. I feel a connection to her, and it's one I haven't felt since..."

Yehya reached out and touched her hand in a comforting gesture, knowing the subject was a tense one for her.

"I know." He said. Then, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes with a sigh that he exhaled slowly.

"I will investigate, watch this woman from afar. I will see if there is any truth to your suspicions. And if there is, I must watch her, ensure she is kept safe so history does not repeat itself."

"...Maybe she can tell us who killed her." She whispered softly.

Yehya's head snapped to look at her. "Whoever it was is most likely long dead."

"But if they aren't... Justice might finally be dealt. He can finally have closure to the mystery." She insisted, tapping the table with her fingers.

"Perhaps." He conceded.

Yet again, Jezebel astounded him.

"Has Khonshu mentioned any changes with Merit's tomb?" She asked him. "Has anybody found it?"

"No, it is tucked so far away within the desert and hidden with magic. The previous Fists did well to conceal her tomb and keep her safe. Khonshu would certainly have mentioned if interlopers had raided the place."

"Good. Maybe one day..."

Yehya made a dry chuckle.

"If this woman is Merit. Maybe. But who wants to visit their own grave?"

"You'd be surprised, Yehya." Jezebel smiled, sipping her tea.

"Graveyards are often haunted. By the living and the dead. Some by choice."

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You pulled at the hem of your apron beneath the table, nerves frayed and body exhausted.

When was the last time you ate? You ate this morning, right? You were sure of it.

You had honey and bread, with some dates.

Or... did you? Was that another dream, too?

But, wait...

You hadn't slept. At all. You were so sleep deprived that the line between the waking and sleeping world were blurred so well that you were jumpy, seeing things even when you were awake.

You would be walking down the street and all of a sudden you'd be on a cliff, overlooking some kind of town, or a city, the stars and moon shining high above you. You stopped yourself before you fell over the edge, or a large hand on your shoulder jerked you back.

Yeah, when you snapped out of it you saw you had almost been hit by a car and a cyclist pulled you back to safety before you got turned into street pizza.

You were dreaming even when you were awake, it seemed.

Right now, a horrid pit was in your stomach, your nerves tangled and twisted violently together. You had been up for nearly three days. You knew that legally you were insane once you'd gone past the 72 hour marker. But you were just so afraid to sleep because of your dreams that you just... You couldn't. You couldn't stand it.

And here you were, in your boss's office. Not just the guy in charge of the cleaners, but the whole building itself.

It was currently 9:27 am, your old, beat up watch told you.

You raised your eyes to look at your reflection in the small mirror on his desk, and squeezed your eyes shut.

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The incense filled the air, the smell coming in off the Nile and the blooms around it being carried on the wind, straight into your house.

You hummed as you looked into your golden mirror, applying with great care and practice your kohl eyeliner, applying your wings; being careful not to poke yourself with the stick. Then, you begin drawing out your eyebrows, the end slope following the curve of your wings.

You take a moment to admire yourself, smiling proudly at the turquoise coloring you'd applied on your eyes, and how well it complimented your looks, highlighting the blackness of your liner, and stood out starkly against your darkened skin.

Setting the kohl stick down, you grab the reed with the red ochre attached and begin to daintily apply it to your lips, giving yourself a nice red tint.

Once finished with that, you placed your used tools on your makeup pallet.

When you were finished applying your makeup, you set down your mirror and reached out to your cosmetics box, and grabbed a small ivory pot and opened it and dipped your fingers in the scented oil, dabbing it on your wrists and throat, rubbing it into your skin in gentle circles, the spice and sweetness mixing together into an intoxicating scent.

You run your hand over your shaved scalp, feeling the fuzzy beginnings of new hair growth start to form. You frowned.

Ugh, you'd have to shave it again when it got too long. You did not want to risk getting infested with lice.

You would cross that road when you came to it.

You stand, and go over to the chest at the foot of your bed, trying to decide on what to wear, as you were still only clad in your small trappings that only covered your nethers.

It was rather hot today, the heat already stifling in the early morning.

So, you decided on your beaded dress. A garment that left little to the imagination, yes, but given the summer heat many opted for the most breezy and comfortable clothing available in their wardrobes, the richer ladies opting for beads to accentuate their beauty.

You grab the garment and slide it over yourself, beads tinkling as you do so. The upper edge lay on your ribs below your breasts, the straps coming up and over your shoulders to cover your breasts (barely, given the style of beading).

Once clothed, you walk back over to your vanity and grab the golden and beaded neck collar your father gifted to you a week before he died. It was your favorite piece, depicting the face of your mother, who, passed away not long after your younger brother, whom had drowned when playing in the Nile. His body had gotten swept away in the currents and it was a full day before they fished him from the waters.

Your mother mourned painfully, loudly... Her cries, you felt, could still be heard even in your dreams as a girl...

Your father told you the pain of losing him was simply too much, and the Gods decided they couldn't keep her separated from her younger child any longer; that her prayers and desperate cries for her son broke the very heart of Anubis himself, so they showed mercy and claimed her early so she could reunite with your brother and ease her suffering.

After your father's death, the golden collar had been modified at your request, showing a depiction of both your father and brother as well, happily holding onto one another in Sekhet-Aaru.

The only members left of your family were you and your cousin, whom your father once tried to marry you off to. You declined, and surprisingly your father accepted. Mostly because your cousin had already expressed an interest in the daughter from another noble family, one closely related to the royal line. Your cousin graciously allowed you to live with her and his new family, mostly because you and his wife had become steadfast and loyal friends, especially after you helped her through the birth of their daughter. Your cousin exalted her birth and graciously left lavish offerings to Taweret and Hathor as thanks for their protection during the pregnancy and birth.

You sighed wistfully at the thought of family. Your parents would never see you wed, or have children of your own. Your father passed away three seasons ago, leaving you the last of his line.

The collar had always allowed you to feel their embrace, even if it was only by the cold of the soft metal and beadwork.

You sigh once more at the sentiment and go to put in your heavy turquoise earrings (to match your makeup and the beads on your dress). Then it was the ivory bracelets on your wrist, and the simple silver anklet that hung over your foot, the cold material soothing you.

It had been a recent gift from your lover. It pleasantly surprised you, you honestly hadn't expected him to be one for gifts such as these.

Inside the anklet were carvings depicting a poem of sorts dedicated to you.

"To my love,

Without you I would have no sky.

There would be no inky black to hang the stars,

The jewels of the night.

Or for the Moon to rest and shine down upon you."

You giggled as you reached for your crimped wig, sliding it comfortably into place before applying the gold and silver chains you hung as a sort of extra ornamentation. After that, you reached for your linen shawl and draped it over your shoulders, tucking it in so it concealed yourself just a bit more conservatively than your dress on its own did.

Afterwards you slipped on your most comfortable sandals and grabbed your basket, as well as whatever items you would need to trade for things you'd need or like. Sure, you could have the servants do the shopping, but then you'd never get out of the house, save for when your lover whisked you away into the night.

You wanted to feel the sun on your skin, as blistering as it was, feel the breeze on your face; feel the atmosphere of a bustling market.

You pause to look at the altar across from your bed, where the incense burned and your offerings lay.

You wondered if you should shed these clothes once you got back from the market, or from the Palace this evening.

You certainly had an excuse, it was hot, after all.

He would come tonight, your lover. And already you knew what the night would entail once the two of you embraced.

Before you leave your room, you lean over and kiss the statue on the altar, smiling happily.

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You jerk your head up with a start and blink when you see your boss sitting in front of you, looking concerned.

You glanced down to your watch.

9:32 AM.

It felt like hours you had been in that dream. Maybe less, but it sure felt like a while. But it had only been a few minutes. Did you nod off when you weren't paying attention..?

He repeated your name again, and you cleared your throat.

"Y-yes sir?" You asked meekly.

"I've received several concerns from your coworkers about you." He sighed, opening the file and flicking through the papers.

"You've been a loyal employee, you've almost never missed a day since you were hired..." He continued to list off the hood things you'd done since coming to work, there.

However that icy, nagging feeling in your gut wouldn't go away.

"But the concerns are regarding your well-being. At first I paid them no mind, until I saw you with my own eyes." His bushy brows furrowed deeply, a frown crinkling his salt-and-pepper beard.

"Alec is a good friend of mine, and he as well told me how you've been feeling. He also told me recently about a man who has been spotted in the vicinity, watching you through the windows."

"Th-that was one time..." You peep.

"Well, given everything that's happened to you, kid... I'd rather not risk it." He scribbled something down in one of the binders on his desk, before hastily typing on his computer.

"As of this second, you're on your PTO."

You felt your mental train derail as you blinked dumbly at him.

"But--"

"No buts, missy. You're obviously not well, and I can't have you passing out on the job or falling down stairs. That's dangerous to your health and my company's reputation. You've racked up enough time to..." He blinked outrageously.

"...You've worked long enough that you could take a few months off work. For now, I'm giving you just two. You need to see a doctor, and get help."

He locked his gray eyes with yours.

"I think you got narcolepsy, kid. I had an aunt who had it when I was a kid. It's not good, that's what got her killed. Passed out at the wheel and got into a wreck."

He stood up from his chair, walked over to you, and rested his hand on your shoulder, fixing you with a gaze most would save for their child or grandchild.

"Trust me, kid. You're one of the best cleaners I've ever hired. Probably the smartest, though Alec tries, bless his soul. The man has admitted he's never been the sharpest tack in the box..." He chuckled a bit. "I'd hate to lose you to your health, of all things. It'd be easier to handle if you were poached out by some other company."

Your jaw hung, opening and closing but you couldn't think of words to say.

"Go on, kid. I have a meeting to get to. Go home, eat something, and take a nap."

As you were gently ushered out of his office, you were left in the quiet ambience of the sterile hallway, the buzzing of the lights above droning endlessly into your ears.

Great.

Just great.

What the hell were you supposed to do for two months?

Maybe... you could conduct some more research. Learn more about Egypt, keep writing your dreams down, and go see Jezebel again...

But first things first... You had to figure out why your hands wouldn't stop tingling.

That would have to wait. At this point you didn't care if you didn't get well-rested.

You needed sleep.

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

Chapter 6: Link

#khonshu x you #khonshu x reader #khonshu moon knight #khonshu #moon knight #yehya badr #my writing #khonsu #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley

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memory-the-unconscious · 15 days

Note

Hi... I'm like really evil so... I apologize in advance

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

LMAO love that you decided to ask me this as soon as I reblogged it. so very kind of you lol

orchid ⇢ Hozier's Unknown/Nth. He had no right writing the most soul-crushing lyrics to ever exist in this life and then just SHALALA his way into my heart. like.. "DO YOU KNOW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE GOODNESS, LOVE, I STILL CARRY FOR YOU???" WHAT WAS THAT?? how do you even begin to EXIST after hearing that??

cactus ⇢ the way that feminist theory has impacted other realms of life--and also the way literature has tied into different cultural movements. I've also been researching the various circles of Dante's Inferno (just for the giggles, ya know :P)

bamboo ⇢ sometimes. it depends. sometimes i get home and all i want to do is just collapse on my bed and not have to deal with anything else, but others I want to feel like a pretentious character from some novel so I'll keep my "fancy" clothes on lol

abelia ⇢ i have this one ring that I wear a lot--my grandma gave it to me. I also have a few pairs of earrings that I treasure a lot.

daffodil ⇢nope :) only child over here

mahonia ⇢ I love the mountains and the ocean--I think they both inspire me to be more than my usual self in various ways: to be kinder, to be more poetic, to see beauty in a wider variety of things and people.

chia ⇢ oh gosh, so many. does challenging my friends to duels count?? lol

sage ⇢ I really cannot decide on this one. I think the beauty of enjoying and being inspired by a variety of artistic mediums is that they each bring something unique into your world view: poetry can bring a sense of rhythm and orderliness or, in other cases, chaos. Music I see as another way of enjoying poetry--what else are lyrics, after all? Fiction is somewhere I can get lost and experience things I've never gotten the chance to see or meet people I'll never meet. Paintings, like photographs, capture a singular moment, but also infuse their meaning with a more personal flavor from the artist's own life. Statues are this concrete, physical expression of being that capture movement and emotion and strength and weakness and just the general essence of existence in a very solid, real way. plzzzz don't make me choose :)

edelweiss ⇢ the secret history. idk what else to add lol

camellia ⇢ I think i conformed a lot more to other's expectations (I know...such a cliche thing to say.. :(( lol). In other respects, I don't think i've changed all that much. I still love art and reading and running through fields and dancing in the rain and curling up with a story next to my dog just as much as I used to :)

jasmine ⇢ This is really tough. I definitely feel that way about some books that just destroyed me emotionally--same goes for films--but I also feel like, given enough time, I'd want to return to them to get a fresh perspective. Idk, I've definitely thought about this a lot, but a lot of types of media store cherished memories for me, so in returning to the media, I'm also reopening that treasure trove of my own life.

ivy ⇢ I smile a lot for no reason when I'm happy. I'm much more sarcastic when I'm down. I also tend to hold my hand up to my face when I'm anxious or annoyed. I feel like this is so much easier to determine about someone else, not yourself :)

chamomile ⇢ BOOKS. chocolate. hugs. cozy sweaters. tea. handmade gifts that are more a demonstration of love that anything else.

aloe vera ⇢ (i am aware this makes me sound a lot more lonely than i actually am lol) I would love to experience the feeling of sitting next to someone I love--platonic or romantic--and just sensing this absolute tranquility. I am always so happy every time I experience that and I'd love to have that feeling more present in my life.

palm tree ⇢ not really?? idk, i mean does Dorian Gray count??

nutmeg ⇢ the walls of my room are a green color that I chose when i was ten, which kinda sets the automatic aesthetic to cottagecore. Lots of plants, poetry and drawings and paintining and quotes pinned on the walls, books everywhere, a quilt i made as my bedcover, my dog (sometimes lol)

papyrus ⇢ just went and did this for the sake of experimentation. the song that came up was "king" by florence and the machine. I love all of florence's songs, but i love "king" for so many reasons. The guttural vocals really bring something out in the lyrics (which are incredible on their own). Also the production of the music video (directed by one of my favorite people of all time, Autumn de Wilde--same person who directed Emma 2020) just makes the aesthetic of the music so much more....GRAND

taro ⇢ I'd tell them about all the beautiful things I saw today, about all the interactions I had. about how much i love being alive, and how much I am looking forward to spending more time getting to know people and reading new books and falling in love with the way the world continues despite it all.

thank you for sending this ask, @kaleb-is-definitely-sane

#about me #asks

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miru667 · 1 month

Note

How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months

Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂

I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.

I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.

So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.

And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.

Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.

And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.

So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.

But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.

Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!

#miruask #long post #lovestruck enby #i probably sound insane but o well #reference

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chaotic-on-main · 9 months

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you.

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

“You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

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