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#something something its a soft love story that spirals out into blood.
pyrriax · 2 months
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for once, i'm here with something a little different!
my gift for @cowboyjeremiah for the @mcyt-valentines exchange is this playlist :D
apologies for the delay with your gift! i had a fic planned (and am including what i have written here, while planning to get it out and properly gifted to you as soon as possible) but got hit with pain & life, so i'll do my best to explain the major concepts!
Warm candlelight all around soaks the room in its gentle glow, even as the spring sun begins to set outside. Everything is covered in the swirl of soft pink and white, cherry petals collecting in every crevice and making hiding places out of spots nobody thinks to look. And just outside the window stands someone who Branzy hasn't seen in months. Clown is back, after so long away, off in the Fray, off fighting and returning only blood soaked and staining the ground in crimson and gold. None his own, no blood daring to pour from the cracks on his mask. He's still as pristine as the day he left, perfect in a way that Branzy's sure should worry him, the truth of welcoming in this lost dog baring its teeth. An ugly, perfect grin, all full of teeth, sharp and ready to snap. Yet, there's no growl, no snarl, silence speaks of something trained, someone fine tuned and sharpened to a point. Dangerous, in a way that only proves that he's alive, that they're both alive, alive as can be. It comes easily, comes almost naturally, to welcome in the danger because really, is that not all he knows? Or, rather, all he'd like to know? Stain the pristine white and perfect purples with dark crimson, sully the perfection that he's always known with the imperfection of the outside world. Welcome home a bloody soldier, and happily tend to his wounds, because what is he if not trapped here with the purpose to serve? [...]
so, welcome to the seraphim au. where branzy is a god (a seraph) and clown is... human? (not really, he isn't. he's a machine, something made to replace seraphs in battle)
a lot of the thought going on here is "what would happen if you flipped the power of their dynamic, while keeping them relatively similar?"
an example of a seraph, though this isn't... how branzy looks? he strays far more human, purely because of how attached he is to clown.
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the playlist's main focus is the general vibe of the world, especially the choices of songs (but especially with the artists, you'll notice a few which focus on religious topics, and especially have hymn-like qualities.) and especially its focusing on the concept of clown and branzy's dynamic.
but, overall, the changing of seasons and the ruining of imagery which is traditionally seen as something soft is the main focus. a god often viewed as benevolent is drawn toward the violence and blood of the world, finding solace in clown's stories. it's a parallel to clown trapping branzy in the end, even if it's vague about it!
there's also. this piece?
Finally sitting down to rest and just sitting in silence with Branzy. They haven't seen each other in a long while, yet they settle in regardless, Branzy handing Clown a letter, carefully penned and addressed to him, looking away when Clown looks at him for clarification Branzy is embarrassed, having handed Clown such a bold show of heart, a love letter. Something that's so open and real to him, it's no different from an xray, of a photo of his ribcage, handing him his beating, bleeding heart. It's love, it's truth, it's him.
i think we need more victorian era shows of love in the world, give somebody an xray
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buckyysdoll · 1 year
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— 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐜𝐬 | 𝐩𝟏/𝟐, 𝐩𝟐 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 —
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જ⁀➴ — summary: self explanatory; a/n: just had to purge this from my heart <3; cw: none, but i am about to cry because i love him and it’s making me spiral !; pairing: fatws! bucky x f!reader
MAIN MASTERLIST
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• bucky will always want to touch you in some way, whether in public or the privacy of the apartment you two share
• you’ll often lay just flush against him, all your weight atop his own, as you watch the telly at night or you both just need the warmth of the other
• close enough that you’re sharing breathing space, can bury your face in the crook of his neck and just breathe in his scent, feel his warmth, feel his body.
• and when his arms rove up and down your back in soothing strokes, and he’s whispering words of praise with kisses to your temple, to your forehead as he does? this man is more than your home; he’s more than any love that you’d known your whole life.
• basically, just think of the gif set that i reblogged earlier today — bucky making grab hands as he opens up his arms, waiting for you to come in to the softness of his sweater, and to the man that you would die just to grow old with (makes no sense but is poetic??)
• he fucking adored it when you fell asleep in his arms on that couch; even as husband and wife, those date nights never get old when they end with his arms close around you, both sleepy
• the sound of your breathing just grounds him, so he tries to wait until you fall asleep before he does
• but there are times after a mission where he’s deliriously tired, and mumbles something intelligible about how he’s “gotta wait…can’t sleep yet.”
• but then he promptly does, bless his heart — so you watch him.
• because typically while you succumb to your rest, he would’ve pulled you in to him so he could feel you in his arms
• just the feel of skin on skin, your scent — it’s home to him, his comfort
• because though the world still sees him as the deadly Winter Soldier, he’s really just a man who’s starved of touch — or was till you. He’s only his girl’s husband who plainly adores her, loves sleeping beside her
• because now you do just that with your head to his heartbeat, your favourite sound. and his unchanged hand will card its way through your hair, and play with the strands as he talks. he’ll tell you stories of life in the 40s in a voice growing lower and more husked with fatigue, knowing that you love to hear of his life just as much as his voice.
• because truly it calms you, grounds you, and carves out a safe space you wish you could live in.
• in this though, he won’t ever use his other arm, because the feel of you is all the craves to know — that skin on skin
• he wonders at the way that your body softens under his touch as though you truly so feel safe despite his past, the blood on his hands.
• the hands that after all this time still don’t feel worthy to touch you
• but god, your love is just so soft that you’ll both be all whispers and laughter. sweet nothings are voiced in your ear with his breath just so warm, just so close, and you love him. he’s so teasing and just so comfortable with you, that his nights with you like this are all he could wish for
• you’re his reason for waking each day
• and it’s that kind of love where you wake up in the night and he’ll still be touching you somehow, and no matter how your joint positions shift in throes of sleep, he’s always still holding you by the time you both wake up — a hand held, or an arm around you somewhere
• and so the way he wakes you up is divine.
• it’s him tracing your skin with his fingertips, and marvelling in silence at you as his wife. bonus points for your first night together as a married couple after your wedding, if on the morning after he presses soft kisses your body and says in that low sleep-fogged voice, “good morning, mrs. barnes.”
• because he loves to wake you up like that, with soft touches tracing shapes or brushing hair back from your face. with your upper body bare from the night before’s lovemaking, and your back to his chest with his arm around your waist, bucky’ll lean up on an elbow and press slow kisses to the bare skin of your shoulder; peppering your neck and face with those light little touches, until your eyelids part on his contented, lazy smile against your skin
• the very smile you’d both live and die for
• bucky is definitely that type of husband that instantly stirs awake when you shift in bed, and he’s whining into the crook of your neck with a groan, saying “love, where are you going?”
• and even when you say laugh and say “to the toilet”, he’ll still try to pull you back.
• which he also does in the morning. an alarm goes off and you think of getting up? that vibranium arm around your waist isn’t letting you anywhere — but where else would you want to be, anyway?
• and god, it’s just so warm in his arms. especially on those dark autumn mornings when it’s cold? lazy sundays spent in bed all day with him make your past somehow worth it
• even though he’s a super soldier and has an very high tolerance to alcohol, that doesn’t mean that date nights where you’re both wine drunk don’t leave you all giggly in bed. and god, it’s just like you’re teenagers in love, and not adults who’ve been through hell and back to find each other now.
• bucky definitely does the cold feet on your leg thing in bed, cos your squeal of dismay and surprise makes him laugh so damn hard, even as you lightly swat him
• bucky wakes up in the morning and reaches across the bed for you instantly, that is if you’re not already in his arms. it’s like the first instinct within him.
• and if he wakes up first like he usually does his eyes will threaten tears as he just looks at you. as he sees you — you his wife. You who are the absolute love of his life, and his best friend in one. and try though he may to be stoic to the world, these mornings bring a lump to his throat cos he loves you more than any other person in the world
• he’s just very touchy and clingy, and so are you for him; you love it, you just love him — you live for his sleep-drunk, tired touches
• even if he knows with those super soldier senses that you often are faking still being asleep just to feel those small early affections
• will add more if i think of more? or will make a part two (linked at top) <;3
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euphoricfilter · 1 year
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like crazy ~ part one
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☆゚part one of four
pairing(s): namjoon x reader, seokjin x reader, yoongi x reader, hoseok x reader, jimin x reader, taehyung x reader, jungkook x reader
genre: fluff || smut || angst || non-idol au || reincarnation au || strangers to lovers || established relationships || regency era au || gang au ||
summary: the story of why you loved to dance in the rain.
word count: 14k
tags/ warnings: duke! taehyung, jimin, fluff, so much love, angst, death(s)/implied murder, mentions of blood, mentioned suicide, mentioned puking, friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, smut in the forms of: implied loss of virginity, unprotected sex (don't be stupid, this is fiction), oral (fem receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, cum play, talks of pregnancy and babies
notes: this mini series is very loosely inspired by an au idea i wrote a while back about an immortal m/c. i'm going to try and keep updates every other week but i am moving home really soon so if there's any change in the schedule then i'll post about it!! and as always, feedback is always encouraged <3
‘like crazy’ mini series masterlist || my main masterlist
🪐 🌠 ∘₊✧─── *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ───✧₊∘ ✧ ˚  ·    . 💫
“A lot has happened since we last spoke” You look down at the gravestone, moss and mud having found home over unnerving death, “Sorry it took me so long to visit” Maybe it helped that the sun was out, tears that were meant to fall soaked up in golden rays of light that warm your cheeks rather than wet them. 
You place a bouquet of red chrysanthemums before the thick slab of stone, closing your eyes briefly. Not a thought in your mind as you revel in the peace of what was once a roaring home. 
“Now, where should I begin?” 
The day you remembered your first life, it felt as though your world had tilted off its axis. That everything you thought you’d learnt about yourself was nothing more than a singular star in a galaxy that sat in the vast universe. A mere atom in the formula that builds you as a person. 
It was like a never-ending spiral. Little pockets of a past life you were never supposed to know, hidden between rouge pieces of space rock and black holes of a different time. Where one misstep had you slipping down a rabbit hole of the unknown with nothing to grab onto. Spiralling down like you were Alice, except you were far from Wonderland. 
You weren’t even sure if you were in denial, or if it was all a far-fetched dream crafted by a wild imagination. Perhaps it was something more like guilt, because as much as Jimin was most definitely the love of your life; he was simply the love of this life.
Strange, heart-wrenching emotions had weighed on your shoulders as you remembered a past lover, who had held your heart ever so delicately in soft hands. And you’d held his, cradling it to your chest until your hearts had beaten in unison. Where wild fantasies had painted a forever, that was never going to be forever. 
Your skin had crawled as fingertips that no longer exist had danced over your body, and burning lips, kissing you in places that should only be Jimin’s. A touch not that of your lover’s, digging into sacred places, secret places that you had only ever worked up the courage to show Jimin. 
The sudden force of having to re-live grief when you yourself should also be dead had sent you into a frenzy. With too many sleepless nights, and too many harsh words sent Jimin’s way as you tried to navigate so many new stimuli at once. This love for another man was like a phantom hand latching onto your heart and squeezing, pulling, and sinking you further down. Sinking down, down, down until a whirlwind of emotions had flushed over you. Joy. Excitement. Sorrow. Heart-ache. Hatred. Love. Too much love. So much more love. A different sort of love you had never felt. Love love love. 
There were too many secrets. Secrets you didn’t truly understand, a jumble of words that melt into slush and clog your brain, sparking against neurotransmitters and mingling with more information than you knew what to do with. Secrets that go away when Jimin is stood before you, and you’re reminded of who your heart now belongs to. The world finally silent, and hands stop grabbing you, and you can finally breathe again. It was as if Jimin had become a catalyst for your fraying feelings. 
The story of Jimin had bloomed in spring. 
When the sky felt as though it were at the tips of your fingers if you were to reach up high enough. And the world smelt of flowers and herbs that sat on window-sills of rundown houses. Where skin was sun-kissed, tender and pink on the back of your neck. And all the evils of the world were taking a nap for the afternoon with the cats that lounged in the shade under trees. 
“Excuse me”
You perk up, squinting when the sun hits your eyes. 
The memory of your first encounter with Jimin will always be one you find yourself going back to. Vivid enough that when you dream of this day, you’re often tempted to reach out and touch him as if he were really there. 
His name on the tip of your tongue, tickling the back of your throat and mind, though nothing comes out as the scene replays itself for the thousandth time. 
It’s like a well-practised play, where you pose as the main cast while simultaneously being the audience. (Maybe it was more of a tragedy, a shame when you know how this one ended.) A little jarring that you have no control over your own body, lips moulding around words so many times you could recite the first conversation the both of you had over and over again. 
Sickly regret holding you in its palms, because there are so many more things you want to tell Jimin, words that he’ll never get to hear. 
It mustn’t have been very long after midday when you’d met. Sweat tickling the back of your neck and untamed grass pocking at your ankles and between bare toes. 
The air smelt of burning wood, crackling fire nothing but a whisper in the wind as footsteps crunch over gravel, and children thump into the tall grass and crush delicate flowers under the weight of their tiny bodies. 
The dress you were sewing is dropped into your lap in favour of cupping your hands around your eyes to see the face of your visitor. Your cheeks dusting the lightest shade of pink when you finally get a look at his face. 
You knew of Jimin, as did most on your estate. The other seamstresses never knew when to close their mouths, always tittering away about everyone and everything that lived in the area. Mindless gossip that you always found yourself turning away from when their giggles would get too loud, or opinions too crude for your liking. 
Jimin had become somewhat of an enigma since turning into an adult. Names were thrown around like he weren’t ever to hear them; though you know his mother works in the building next door. Sure to have heard what her friends had been saying about her son behind her back. How much of a shame it is that he has such a nice face but no money. That no woman would ever want to settle for a man with nothing to his name, even if their babies were to be beautiful. 
Or how their daughters had wandered into the city and found wealthy bachelors, who bought them dresses lined with thread made of gold, and jewellery that weigh down their necks. Who eat like royals, and prance around well-kept gardens into their husbands’ arms. 
Thoughts ever so shallow you never found yourself stooping to their level when they’d nudge you for your opinion. The bitter remark that their children had abandoned them had always clung to your lips, because surely if they cared they would have lifted their parents out of commoner status and housed them in luxury. 
The rumours of Jimin’s beauty were true, that much you now knew. Whatever child-like innocence you had left inside of you dubbing him as something akin to a garden fairy; just as you imagined them when you were young. 
Not quite dainty, yet not thick muscle, something a little softer around the edges. And with his overgrown hair haloed by the sun as he takes a step to the side, blanketing you in shade, you think he looks like a dream. 
“Yes?” your head tilts, gaze flitting to the scarce bouquet that he holds. Tips of his fingers evidence that he’d dug them up himself, wet soil clinging to his skin and boots; just as rough and old as the rest of his clothes. Though really you find you have no place to judge when you, yourself are dressed no better than him. 
“These are for you” He thrusts the flowers into your face, entirely too eager as dirt falls into your lap, though you find yourself laughing. Uncaring that your mother’s dress bears the brunt of his enthusiasm. 
You clear your throat when he avoids your eyes, “From you?” 
And he nods, watching from the corner of his eye as you take them in gentle hands as not to let any of the smaller flowers fall out of place. You lay them delicately over your lap, feeling around the grass for your thread. 
You snap it with your teeth, tying the stems of the flowers together so you wouldn’t lose any of them. A pot already in mind that you keep beside your mattress in the bedroom. Dust had collected around the rim, and lime scale clung to the insides, though you think the flowers would look lovely beside you as you slept. 
“And–” he rubs his hands over his pants, bottom lip tucked between his teeth, “And this” He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket. 
The tips of your fingers brush against one another as you take it from him. Curiosity wins over the heated flush that threatens to dust over your cheeks at the accidental contact. 
‘I think you’re pretty’ 
“Would you like to join me?” you smile, patting the space beside you, Jimin’s own lips curling up at the corners. 
“I’m Jimin” 
And you refrain from telling him you know. Because the Jimin you knew was the one that had been tossed from mouth to mouth, built on flimsy lies and stupid expectations. Entirely built by rotten imaginations and women who had nothing better to do than chatter about other people’s lives when their own was crumbling just as much. 
“Y/n” you giggle, outstretching your hand for him to shake. 
Jimin’s eyes curl into little crescents as he smiles, a laugh bubbling up his throat “Nice to meet you, Y/n” 
“Nice to meet you” You nod, “Oh! And, I think you’re pretty too” 
“Do you think I can take you on a date? Tomorrow?” he turns to you, and you blink up at him. 
“So soon?” 
“Too soon?” he winces. 
The corners of your lips turn upwards, busying yourself with finishing mending your mother’s dress, “No, I quite like how straight to the point you are” 
Jimin’s chest deflates as he sighs, “I thought it might have scared you a little” he admits. 
You hum, “No one’s ever asked me on a date before” you admit. 
A wave of ease falls over the both of you, a unanimous understanding that there weren’t any expectations between the two of you. That as much as love was thrown onto the table, it didn’t have to be what the two of you got out of this. 
Friendship, when you’re alone, is just as precious as a lover. Another human being with very human emotions and morals that match yours is just as special as something a little more than platonic. 
“No way” he laughs, shoulder knocking against yours, you bite back a smile, “A girl as pretty as you?” 
“Mmhmm” 
“Then it’d be an honour to be the first” feeling bold, Jimin’s arm slips across your shoulders, “And hopefully the last”
“Ah is that so?” you drop the dress onto the grass beside you, pushing yourself to sit on your heels as you turn to face Jimin. 
He nods, eyes flicking from your own to your lips, then back up again. Perhaps only mapping out your face into his mind, carving out every little crevice that makes you, and burning it into his brain. Or maybe it’s something a little less innocent. 
You lean forward, a chaste kiss pressed to Jimin’s cheek before you pull back; a shy smile mirroring his, flushed cheeks probably matching his too. Though you find yourself liking the feeling, something ever so foreign yet welcome, you can’t help the airy laugh that spills from your lungs. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
It had been the incessant tapping at your window that had woken you up like a little bird was pecking at the old glass. Understandably, fear had settled in your heart, it wasn’t often you were woken up in the middle of the night like this. 
The floorboards creaked under the weight of your body as you slipped off your mattress, socked feet barely making a sound as you plan an easy escape without your uninvited visitor knowing you were going to find your mother. 
You almost trip over your own feet when the tapping stops, Jimin calling out your name. 
You scuttle over to your window, tugging your curtains open, “What are you doing here so late?” you whisper when you unlatch the window, pushing it open. 
“I forgot to give you this” he raises his arm, a singular sunflower clasped between his fingers. 
“You came all the way here to give me this?” you ask, baffled. 
“Yes, I forgot to pick you a bouquet before our date this afternoon” he nods, “That…and I just missed you” 
“Would you like to come in?” you take a step away from your window. 
You see the unfiltered surprise on his face, “Too soon?” 
He shakes his head, “I just wasn’t expecting it is all” 
You pluck the sunflower from between his fingers, turning to place it in the vase with the other flowers he’d gifted you over the last week. 
You turn back to Jimin as his boots thump against the floor, he kicks them off, shuffling in one spot as you take a seat on your mattress. 
“Come here” you hide your smile, biting your bottom lip. He’s ever so careful as he takes a seat beside you. The both of you fall onto your backs like you often did in the grass at the park. 
Soft silver moonlight spills into the room from the open curtains, cool night air washing over the both of you as you stare at the ceiling. 
“I really like spending time with you” Jimin breaks the silence, though his gaze remains trained on one spot of your roof. 
“I really like spending time with you, too” You tilt your head to look at him, unexplainable happiness filling your body until you felt like bursting. 
He hums, next words barely above a whisper. “I hope we can be together for a long time” 
“I would like that” 
Jimin turns his head to face you, the softest smile on his face, “I’m glad” 
 Love with Jimin was pure. The both of you were young enough that it didn’t matter if it were rough around the edges, imperfect; though you wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It wasn’t hard to fall in love. Not when it was Jimin.
For every date he took you on, he would spend hours in the park picking flowers for you. 
His mother had always adored them and could talk about anything botanical for hours. She knew all their meanings and all their worth. Her love for one of the world’s tiny treasures brushing off on Jimin growing up. Over the years the reason for his love had changed, something special to his mother was now something special to him. 
Because flowers now reminded Jimin of you. Where soft petals between the tips of his fingers felt like your skin under his hands, always reaching out for you, holding any part of you he could. How the world around you smelt of flowers as he braided them into your hair or you made promise rings with wilting stems that needed a little bit of love; a new life, a new purpose. 
And of course, Jimin had heard all about the men in the city who bought acres of land for their lovers. Gardens tended to with warm hands but barely there love. And Jimin’s dream was to spend afternoons in a garden, your knees brushing as he plants flower beds and vegetables. So he could wake you up each morning with a new bouquet and a letter as to why he loves you so much. 
“What’s this one?” you tuck Jimin’s hair behind his ear, pressing a kiss to his nose. 
“A red chrysanthemum” He tilts your face, thumb caressing the skin behind your ear. 
“Yeah?” you breathe, eyelashes brushing against your cheeks as his lips barely brush over your own, and Jimin hums. 
You smile into the kiss, “And what do red chrysanthemums mean?” you whisper, arms wrapping around his shoulders. 
“I love you” 
You pull back, eyes widening a fraction. Three words that felt like they should be whispered, a secret that the two of you shared but never spoke about. You knew you loved Jimin in some capacity, you weren’t stupid. And you knew he liked you back, he’d made that known; and yet those three words had you feeling as though love was the only emotion that mattered. That the only thing you could ever do was love Jimin.
“Too soon?” he smiles, thumb running over your bottom lip. 
You shake your head, “No, not at all” 
“This is for you too then” His free hand slips into his pocket. Piece of paper tucked between two fingers, he drops it into your awaiting palm. 
‘I love you ♡” 
Young love didn’t have to be rushed. You didn’t have to stagger after Jimin as he pulled you along, or him chase after you as you sped ahead. It could be late-night talking about all the seemingly insignificant things in life. How hard growing up was or the insane expectations for success that neither of you had a chance of grasping. 
Marriage didn’t have to be your only reason. Not when Jimin had become many of the reasons you liked waking up in the morning, or making lunch for the both of you to share on scarce breaks at work. 
It could be slow dancing in the moonlight, as Jimin hums and crickets chirp. Or afternoons spent lounging in the sun with pinkies intertwined and breaths in sync. Or, now whispered ‘I love yous’ melting into soft kisses to cheeks and lips and noses. Or pink flushed cheeks and smiles that hurt your face, the good kind of hurt that makes you giggle and want one more gentle press of his lips to your own. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
You dip your fingers into the shallow edge of the lake, “It’s pretty cold” 
You peek over your shoulder as Jimin pulls his shirt over his head, lithe muscles flexing under the motions of his movements. Every sharp line and soft ridge of his body was illuminated by the silver light of the moon. 
“Guess we better warm up then” he grins, eyes raking down your body. They then linger on your face, and it’s not often you wonder what Jimin’s thinking. He usually speaks his mind, clingy shyness about his feeling for you never holding him back when it came to his thoughts. 
You laugh, “Perv” your own shirt haphazardly shucked off your body, thrown into a pile with the rest of Jimin’s clothes. 
His arm slips over your waist as you kick your panties off, goosebumps prickling the skin of your arms as your boyfriend takes a step into the lake. 
His chest opens as the initial shock of the cold crawls up his spine. Jimin watches you fidget, arms wrapped around your bare breasts, “Come on, baby” he reaches a hand out for you, walking further until he’s waist-deep in the water. 
An easy smile is on his face as he beckons you over, wading closer to you when you work up the courage to slink into the water. Your breath hitches as you take Jimin’s hand, legs wrapping around his waist. He throws your arms around his shoulders, murky water rippling around the both of you as he spins you around. Your bare chest pushes up against Jimin’s as you pull him closer, your body easing a little at the extra heat. 
“You’re pretty” he murmurs, fingers digging into the meat of your thighs, hoisting you up a little higher. 
You push his hair from his forehead, lips lingering over warm skin when you lean down to press a kiss over his hairline; your hands cupping his cheeks, eyes flickering across his face. You weren’t sure how to explain how you felt, Jimin had always been better at words than you had been. 
It’s just, Jimin in the moonlight always felt right. Because for once the world fell silent, it felt like it finally belonged to just you and him. He looked ever so pretty dusted in silver, honeyed skin kissed by the wonders of the sky. Blemishes nothing but pretty places to kiss, each moment your lips touch his skin another reason for you to wonder how you even ended up here. 
“I love you” you whisper.
But that never felt like enough. Three frail words that you utter over and over again, that should really lose their meaning over time, are the only words that ever seem to come to mind when it’s Jimin. Nothing fancy. Nothing poetic. Nothing that’s more than an ‘I love you’ because no matter how many times you seemed to say it, the weight of your words is always understood by Jimin.  
And he laughs, “How abrupt of you” 
You bite back a smile, “Sorry, it just came out” 
“I might love you more, you know” His eyes close. 
You press a kiss over his eyelids, “I think that’s impossible”  
He hums, “I don’t” 
He peeks an eye open, smiling when he sees the frown on your face. 
“Every breath I take, and for every beat of my fragile heart, I will love you. Until the day I lay on my deathbed, and we must part ways, my love will be yours.” his eyes meet your own, “Though I know we’ll meet in the sky, and I’ll hand you my heart once more” 
“And I’ll hand you mine” Your eyes search his, nails digging into the skin of his shoulders. 
“I’m glad, my love. And I’ll cherish it for as long as you’ll allow me” 
“Forever.” you say, wondering if his eyes really held galaxies or if they simply reflected the sky, “It’ll be yours forever” 
“Then I have something to tell you” 
Your eyebrows crease, and a strange sense of dread and excitement mixes inside of you. And you aren’t sure if you’re jittery from the cold or nerves or fear. 
“What is it?” you urge. 
Jimin swallows, hands travelling over your bare back and down your waist, “I’ve put down two gold coins for that house we had been talking about” 
Your chest deflates, lungs wringing themselves out of all the air you had until you’re laughing. Almost falling backwards into the water if Jimin hadn’t pulled you closer to his body. 
“Have you really?” you breathe, hand tangling into the hair on the back of his head, “Park Jimin, don’t lie to me” 
He smiles, chest shaking with his own breathy laughter, “Never, my love. Truly it is going to be ours” 
You shake your head, “How did you find the money for it” 
“You know I have been working double shifts as of late” he hums, wet hands pushing your hair from your face, eager to see your blooming happiness. 
“Yes, but I thought it was for your mother” 
“She earns enough to feed herself, and I wanted a place of our own. And I know how much we’ve both dreamed of this moment, I had to do it” 
“You’re perfect, you know that?” your lips mould into his, a moan of appreciation swallowed as you tilt your head; tongue poking at the seam of his lips. 
“I do now” he huffs, pulling you in for another kiss by the back of your neck. 
“We’re really going to have a home” 
“Yes” he laughs, “Forever ours” 
“I can’t believe it” you whisper, “Pinch me so I know it is real” 
A moan gets caught in the back of your throat as Jimin’s teeth nip at the tender skin behind your ear, plush lips kissing over your skin, saliva slicked and heated. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
You think you can find your and Jimin’s love in the little wonders of the world. Because as much as he wanted to hand you the universe, both of you knew that was impossible. That your love was tucked away, safer when hidden in dreams of a shared future. Tucked away in a home that was now yours forever, because neither of you had plans of going anywhere. 
As selfish as it may seem, you’d stolen spring to be your own. You’d met in the spring and found a place for yourselves as flowers bloomed. You were Jimin’s spring flower and he was the sun and the moon and all the pretty things in between. 
It wasn’t hard to fall into a routine, your lives were like clockwork, never stopping. It had always been that way, except now you’d stay within the precious walls of your home, and Jimin would return to you before the sun slipped behind the horizon and dinner was finished cooking on the fire. 
Most mornings the both of you would wake up before sunrise, and you’d eat near-stale bread on the chairs Jimin had made outside the front door. Where once or twice a butterfly had come to kiss your nose in good morning, and then Jimin would kiss the same place over and over until you’re both giggling like it was the first time you’d kissed. 
And for the days he slipped out of the house before you woke, he would leave little letters around the house for you to find throughout the day. 
‘Last night I saw a star as you slept, and it reminded me of your eyes. Briefly, I thought to wake you but after seeing you so at peace, I decided to join you instead ♡’  
He’d always had a secret liking towards poetry and found himself sitting with a quill and paper as the moon sat in the sky, thinking of poems about you. And only the ones that made him smile, and made his heart jump up and down inside his chest did he ever leave on his pillow for you to wake up to the next morning. 
You’d clean the floors between sewing as Jimin worked as a blacksmith, lithe frame bulking up over the last couple of months. And he would make sure to leave you a note before leaving the house, with every little thing he would find that he loved about you. 
‘Today’s reason is your smile ♡’ 
Evenings were your favourite, as were Jimin’s. Both your bodies ease into one another’s as you sit on worn-down cushions while playing checkers that your father had carved for you as a child. 
Or you’d simply lay your head over Jimin’s thigh as he sings for you under the stars. Bellies almost full and hearts the most content as the universe writes your love in shooting stars, its ink the soft glow of the moon. 
“I have a surprise for you next week, so take the day off” Jimin’s fingers rake through your hair, tucking it ever so delicately behind your ear. 
You peel your eyes open, “And what about your own work?” 
“I have already asked for a day away, no problem” He smiles down at you. 
“What sort of surprise is it?” your voice comes out barely above a whisper, carried by the wind to Jimin’s ears, who hums. 
He runs his thumb over his bottom lip, “I mustn’t say, it will ruin it” 
“But I’ll be curious” You jab a finger into his stomach, lips curling into a smile when he leans down to capture your lips. 
“Poor thing” he whispers, stealing another kiss. 
‘A clue to your surprise: It reminds me of you ♡’ 
“I still don’t know what it is” You slide Jimin’s most recent note across the table, and he shrugs. 
“Your final clue” He hands you another piece of paper. 
‘Think of when we first met’  
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited” Jimin laughs, arm slung over your shoulders. 
You skip ahead a little, walking backwards as you smile over at Jimin who takes one of your hands, helping you twirl as if you were a princess and he was the prince. You’d spent every night sewing a new dress with leftover fabric from the tavern; a special occasion called for a special outfit.  
And Jimin had smiled and laughed so much he’d almost fallen off the back of his chair as you’d spun for him. He’d called you utterly beautiful and then tugged you over his lap for a kiss, maybe two. 
“Of course, I’m excited. I’ve been eager to know what your surprise is” 
“Happiness looks good on you, my love” Jimin stops walking, pulling you to his chest. 
“Then I must look good all the time, with you around” 
“Where do you learn these things” His hand covers his mouth, a lame attempt at covering his smile. 
“You” 
Jimin raises his eyebrows, astounded, “When have I ever been cheesy?” 
“All the time. I’ll show you when we get home, I have all those letters you’ve left me” 
“You kept all those?” he gapes, footsteps falling in time with your own as you both start wandering back down the gravel path. 
“Of course. I still have the first ever one you gave me, and then all the ones that came after that” 
You bite your bottom lip, willing yourself not to laugh when you catch sight of Jimin’s rose-dusted cheeks. 
“Then you may think I’m extra cheesy today” he announces, fingers interlacing with your own. 
“Is that so?” you hum, shoulder knocking against his arm. 
Jimin turns to you, “Do you trust me?” 
You blink. 
“Of course” 
“Then please close your eyes” 
“Right now?” your head tilts, eyes squinting to gauge how far away the end of the pathway is, “It doesn’t seem like we’re anywhere that a surprise could be” 
“We are” he turns to you, “It won’t be a surprise if you keep looking though” 
You nod, eyes narrowing; sceptical. 
“If this is where you secretly murder me then I swear on my grave I will come back from the dead Park Jimin” 
He laughs, “It would be impossible to live in a world without you, I wouldn’t dare lay a hand on you if it weren’t for your own pleasure” 
You bring your hands to cover your eyes, back straightening when Jimin takes hold of your arm, turning you in the direction of the forest. 
“Careful, the path is uneven this way” He pulls you further under the blanket of trees. 
“Are we almost there” you stumble, amused laugh shaking your shoulders as Jimin’s other hand falls onto your waist to keep you steady. 
“Almost” 
The both of you stumble to a stop, your eyes squeezing shut behind your hands as you wander into the sun, out of the shade. 
“Are you ready?” 
And you hear the unease in his voice, a week of pressure building up. Bubbling until it’s now fizzling out of him in nervous rivulets, hands clammy as they run up and down your arms. His feet shuffle against crunchy grass, and this might be the most jittery you’ve ever seen Jimin. 
“Yes,” you tell him, keeping your eyes closed as you take hold of his hands, squeezing his fingers between your own. Jimin swallows, Adams's apple bobbing under the weight of it. 
His eyes wander over your face, “May I kiss you?” 
The corner of your lips curl up at that, “Yes” you nod, leaning into his touch when he cups your cheeks. 
The tension in both your shoulders releases as your lips mould together, ever so slowly, neither of you rushing as Jimin’s tongue teases into your mouth. He laps up every little noise that slips off your tongue, sweet like nectar. 
Your eyes slip open, entirely focused on Jimin’s. “I really hope you like it” He keeps your focus on him, foreheads still touching, noses knocking against one another. 
“May I be honest with you?” 
And he hums, “Yes, of course” 
“If it’s from you, then I will always love it” 
“That seems a little extreme” he laughs, though unease still chews away at his mind. 
“I don’t think so. Surely you would like anything I gifted you” 
He nods, “Of course, I would” 
“Then it’s no different for me, so please don’t worry” you whisper, eyes slipping closed once more as you press a featherlight kiss to his plush lips. 
“Keep your eyes closed for a moment” he whispers back, and you hum. 
Jimin’s hands fall away from your body, shadow slipping away from behind your eyelids as he steps away from you. 
“Open them” 
And you do. 
“Oh Jimin” you whisper, a twitch of your lip the first sign of a smile. 
As far as you can see, there are just flowers. The most vibrant you have ever seen, almost glowing under the warm light of the sun. For all the flowers Jimin had given you over the years, you think there must be every colour he’d ever thought to bring you; all swaying in tandem as if it were the most beautiful ocean. 
The field stretches until it meets the sky, land completely hidden by a blanket of wildflowers. 
You don’t know where to look, so many places to look but only two eyes. Your head is pulled in every which direction, mouth falling open in awe. 
“Where did you find this place?” your voice comes out breathless, gaze only briefly meeting Jimin’s before you’re drawn back to acres of untouched land. A whole ecosystem thriving on its own, untampered with by human life. 
“On the way back from a job. It reminded me of you, and I knew I had to bring you here” he steps closer to you, fingers brushing against your own. 
You turn to face Jimin, “It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Thank you for sharing it with me” 
You slip your fingers through Jimin’s, “Would you like to dance with me?” 
“Right here?” his eyes widen. 
You nod, tugging him towards the sea of flowers, “Yes” 
“But we have no music” his resistance nothing more than a show as he makes no move to stop you. 
Wild grass tickles both your ankles, delicate petals of smaller flowers caressing your bare legs as you hike your dress up. 
“That doesn’t matter” you laugh, pulling him further and further until overgrown flowers dust over your waist like gentle fingers, and a butterflies’ wings tickle your cheek. 
Jimin watches as you twirl, hands outstretched for him to come closer. Your body knocks into his as he pulls you into his chest. Both of you fall in sync, as curious hands wander over arms and backs, down to waists and hips. 
You flinch when something wet hits your nose, Jimin turning his face to the sky. 
“It looks like it’s about to rain,” he says, and you tilt your head to look, “Perhaps we should go home” 
You shake your head, “But we only just got here” 
“But the rain, my love” he takes your hands, taking a step back, though your feet stay planted in their spot. 
“A little bit of rain never hurt anyone” You pull him back into your body, eyes squeezing shut as a raindrop collides with your lashes. 
The both of you are washed in a gust of shade, the sun hidden behind dark clouds that bleed into the horizon. 
“Won’t you dance with me?” you look up at Jimin, clothes starting to mould into your skin as the sky rains more unshed tears. 
“I suppose” he grins, arm falling around your waist. 
Your hair clings to your foreheads, sodden leaves wetly slapping against your arms and legs. Rouge petals that had plans of rotting on the soil now hanging on to your dress and Jimin’s pants. 
Your dress doesn’t fan out like a royal’s would when Jimin spins you, neither is he really dressed like a prince but the both of you feel as though you could be of that status in that moment. 
Your eyes fall shut, smile never leaving your face. It’s as though your body evaporates, that the world around you fizzles upwards in little bubbles and you follow their lead. Chasing after the light that shines down on you like a beacon. 
Something strange tugs at your heart, sinking you further and further into the darkness as you kick upwards until you’re spinning and the world is spinning with you. And the darkness feels all too familiar, your footsteps practised perfectly as if a routine. 
Hands roam your body. Both yours and his laughter muffled underwater, a whisp of a soul slipping through your fingers when you turn towards the deep timbre of another voice, a voice far deeper than Jimin’s. His laugh vibrates in your chest as phantom hands graze against your naked skin. And he’s calling your name, your mouth opening to call back except nothing but air puffs past your lips; air bubbles caressing your cheeks as they float upwards. 
Your feet move on their own without much thought as you turn in every which direction, only to ever be met by darkness; feet caught in quicksand that has you sinking further away from the light. 
There’s something on the tips of your fingers as you reach out and an awful pressure squeezes at your chest and the echo– the echo of a voice you’ve heard before. Everything is awfully jumbled, words shoved down your throat, acidic in your stomach– poison as it absorbs into your bloodstream. 
You stumble over your feet chasing after where the stranger’s voice had come from and suddenly your eyes are open as you collide with the floor. Brain rattling within the confines of your skull and your whole world shakes a along with you. 
Jimin’s arms cage your head, chest heaving as he holds himself up over your body. 
You feel puddles of water and sodden soil soak into the back of your dress as you sink further into the ground. 
“Sorry” he whispers, droplets of water from his hair falling onto your cheeks. 
“It’s okay, I forgot where I was for a moment” you admit, a smile pulling at the corner of your lips. 
“I could tell” he laughs, falling back onto his heels. 
Jimin tugs you up by your arms, pushing your wet hair out of your face. 
“Maybe we should go home” he murmurs, “I’d hate to have another accident” 
You nod,  “I think that’s a good idea”
“Let’s go home, my love” he pushes himself to stand, and you glance down at your hands. 
“Did you hear another man’s voice?” you blink away the rain from your lashes, Jimin’s eyebrows furrowing. 
“No? It’s only the two of us here” he takes your hands, helping you up, “Did you hear someone?” 
You shake your head, “No, it must have been something else” 
“You know” Jimin starts as you trek out of the flowers, “I’ve never met anyone that loves dancing in the rain as much as you” 
“I can’t explain the feeling” You turn to him, the smallest of smiles on your face. 
“Then should we dance every time it rains?” 
“I always dance when it rains” You pull him closer to your side, a futile attempt to steal some of his body heat. 
“Yes, but I always watch. Maybe I’ll join you from now on” 
“I would like that” you hum. 
And that should have been the end of it. A conversation left in the past where its only leeway into your future is Jimin joining you the next time it decides to rain. Except, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
It was rotten how for those few moments the world hadn’t been yours, and Jimin hadn’t been Jimin, and you hadn’t been you. Or that the other voice that had definitely been in your head, a whisper in your ear, an echo on the other side of the dark plane. A siren’s song pulling you further into your own demise, forbidden land you should have never passed over. 
It shouldn’t have been anything more than how much you truly loved dancing in the rain, where it was just something you had always loved and always done without thinking much about it. 
You turn your head to look at Jimin who lay beside you, finally asleep after the both of you had taken a bath. So at peace with himself and the world, as the weight of emotions, you’re unfamiliar with breathe down the back of your neck and you lay awake. 
It’s when you close your eyes, you start to fall. And the eyes that meet yours when you open them aren’t Jimin’s. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
For every life you lived after this one, the love you had here will cling onto you forever, sticky like you’d dipped your fingers in molasses. And maybe it’s because this had been the first time you’d learnt what love truly was, or maybe Taehyung had carved such a large hole in your heart that only he could ever truly fill. So even in life after him, he continues to burrow inside of you as his soul finally rests. 
Pure love was an addicting feeling. And maybe Taehyung had made you greedy, grabbing onto such a wonderful feeling over and over until it destroyed you. It wasn’t fair to blame him, but surely your greed had stemmed from somewhere.
And love could only ever be as magical as you’d imagined it if it begins with Taehyung. 
And so, the story of your first life, and therefore your first love starts with Kim Taehyung. 
Taehyung and Jimin had been the most similar of your loves. Both of them had always liked the more delicate things in life. 
Taehyung liked to read how whimsical the ocean was, white seafoam as gentle as clouds, and waves that caressed ankles that wandered the shore. Or how the stars always seemed that little bit brighter when you were in love, the universe shining its approval of something so perfect. He liked the idea of faeries that danced under the light of the moon, or reading forbidden love stories and poems that hurt his heart. Only to be mended with stories of truer love and lifetimes dedicated to another being. 
Taehyung’s sole purpose in life was to become a duke and run the estate after his father passed. Except he had never liked to be shoved into a mould, crafted by hands that had no care, rough as they shaped him. He despised the fact his life was gifted to him just so he could be chained to a role he had no purpose of fulfilling. 
His spirit had always been that of a wild bird, curious about things he had no business knowing, and wanting to wander where forbidden. 
He loved the freedom that birds had, how beautiful their feathers were, gliding through the sky without a care in the world. They had something he didn’t, and maybe his admiration had stemmed from some weird sense of jealousy. But, that never stopped the look of pure joy on his face whenever he caught a glimpse of a dove dancing on the waves of the wind. 
One of Taehyung’s hobbies had become complaining about his classes. The both of you giggled under one of the trees outside his window, shoulders knocking against each other’s as he told you stories of how his politics tutor was surely a witch, and there was no doubt in his mind that his literature teacher was a ghoul. 
The world felt as though it were crumbling at his feet on the days the two of you couldn’t meet. And so, he’d send you letters in secret, asking to meet at the front gate of the estate; where he’d hand you flowers through the bars, or kiss the back of your hand, only to beckon you closer when that doesn’t feel like enough. His plush lips warming your cheeks until he finds your lips and the both of you are melting into cold metal bars, the shyest smiles on both your faces when a maid catches the both of you. 
Most days were spent in the garden, or the drawing room where the both of you could talk for hours. You liked flicking through catalogues of dresses for the coming seasons, always asking Taehyung what he thought. Wondering if he’d like a new broach for his jackets, or if a new waistcoat would suit him. How wonderful the both of you would look matching, with a handkerchief you’d embroidered for him sat in his breast pocket– every gentle prick of the needle through fabric and each delicate line of tread, laced with love that lays beside his gently beating heart. 
Taehyung liked to recount all the things he adored about love, reciting poems and lines of novels he’d read before bed, and then telling you everything he adored about you. Because ‘love’ and ‘you’ should always fall in the same sentence in his eyes. Love would never truly be ‘love’ if you weren’t in the picture. Your silhouette was painted within each frame of his life, tucked in corners of the canvas or slipped far within his heart and mind. 
Taehyung and love were perhaps a synonym of one another. 
He was the epitome of love. 
All things romance and passion, and all things special between two people that have you shy and kicking your feet. Every moment feels like the long-awaited kiss after chapters of build-up and tension, where you have to look away from the book for a brief moment to recollect your thoughts and then bite your nails to hide a smile. 
If you had to describe Taehyung in one word, you think you’ll always gravitate towards eccentric. 
“I think the reason I was born, was to love you” he’d told you one evening, the stars like a halo around his head as he’d taken your hands into his own. 
You hadn’t known what to say, the corners of your lips quirking up at the sides because, of course, he’d utter such sweet words while the both of you laze in the gardens. Not quite ready to part ways just yet. Even if your carriage had been sat outside the house for over an hour, and your supper was probably sat on the table at home. 
“What a sorry reason to be born” you’d whispered back. 
“I don’t think so. The opposite, in fact” he tugs you a little across the grass, closer between his legs, “What is the point of life if it isn’t for unconditional love? And a mind that functions with the sole purpose of loving another?” 
Maybe it was that moment that you realised you loved love. That you loved loving Taehyung and you loved that he loved you just as much as you loved him, if not more. 
“Then, you’re my reason for living” It had fallen off your tongue quicker than you had thought to catch it. Though the smile that had stretched onto Taehyung’s face is one that will forever be etched into your mind, it had been innocent, content. 
You’d seen him smile so many times and yet, something had shifted in your mind, any qualms you had about letting go and succumbing to the purest form of adoration had fizzled out in both your hands. 
Because life wasn’t so bad when you had someone to love. 
“Just as you are my reason to live” he says. 
“I hope the both of us live forever so I never forget this feeling” you’d interlaced your fingers, cheeks flushing the lightest pink that’s veiled by the silver moonlight. Though he probably feels how warm you are when he cups your face, pressing a kiss over the tip of your nose. 
“Forever?” he hums, “Even if you were to forget, I would remind you over and over for as long as we’re together, and every life after that” 
“I’ll remind you too then” you promise, though Taehyung laughs, chest vibrating under the weight of his voice. 
“I could never forget, not when it comes to you, my love” 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
You don’t remember when you’d met Taehyung, you think he’d always just been there. 
Perhaps the both of you had snuck out of a ball back in the day, two rowdy children giggling on the balcony as you whispered about guests. Which ones you liked, or the ones your mothers’ would mutter about under their breath. The both of you had done it so many times that it would be fitting for your first encounter. A habit the both of you would keep up as you grew older as well. 
Or maybe the both of you had camped out under the tables while your mothers flitted from group to group, and you’d stolen cakes from plates and perfectly cut sandwiches from unattended trays. Where you’d exchange slices of tomato for his pieces of cucumber, and you’d both share squares of cake from one fork. 
Friends from childhood had started bleeding into something a little more as the two of you grew and realized that maybe friendship wasn’t enough for either of you. And maybe that had been the little seedling from where your never-ending greed stemmed from. A constant feral need for constant love that was depicted in careful strokes of paintings and well-thought-out words bled onto a page with dark ink. 
Taehyung had known early on that it was always going to be you he married. There was no doubt in his mind that you were going to wed. It was not often he put his foot down when it came to the choices made for him in life, and making it a point he had no interest in any other woman than you, had always been a point he’d made extremely clear. 
Marriage hadn’t been something you’d put much thought into until Taehyung would bring it up as you drank tea together of an afternoon. And after the little seed of possibility had been planted in your mind, you knew you wanted to marry Taehyung. 
And you’d never second-guessed yourself, because if it was going to be anyone, then it was going to be your best friend. 
“If I were to wear a white dress, would you wear a white suit?” you lay the magazine over your chest. Taehyung pushes his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose when he tilts his head down to look at you; head resting over his thigh. 
“If that is what you want” he hums, “White flowers may be too much, so let’s add colour” 
You run a finger over your bottom lip, “Purple?” 
“Of course” he nods, “I’ll braid them into your hair too” his fingers tickle over your hairline. 
You push yourself to sit up on your elbows, “I think it’s bad luck if the groom sees the bride in her dress on the morning of the wedding” 
Taehyung runs his thumb over his bottom lip, “To hell with tradition” 
“Your mother isn’t going to be very happy” you smile, “All she ever talks about is the perfect wedding” 
Taehyung smiles, “Yes, but it isn’t her wedding. I think I’d be beyond miserable if we weren’t to see each other, I must tell you how beautiful you look before we meet at the end of the alter” 
“It would only be a few hours” you press, eyebrows raising. 
“A few hours too many. Who is supposed to help me with my tie if not you?” 
You fully sit up now, “You’d have a maid or two aiding you” 
Taehyung frowns, whatever paperwork he was reading long forgotten on the couch as he tugs your legs over his thighs, fingers dancing over the bare skin covered by your skirt. 
“But they don’t do it as you do, and I have to look my best the day we tie souls and vow to be lovers for the rest of our time alive. It’s an important day” 
“I suppose you’re right” you hum, brushing his hair from his forehead, “I too, would be lonely if we were to part on such a joyous day” 
It hadn’t been long after the both of you had entered adulthood that Taehyung’s father had died, and only a few months after that the two of you had gotten married. 
You’d worried for Taehyung, knowing that even though his relationship with his father had never been the best, at least a small part of him should have been sad that his soul had left to rest. But no matter how much you lightly prodded, and made sure to ask if he were okay, Taehyung never shed a tear. 
He never truly found a way to articulate his feelings; losing someone he never saw as a father left the smallest hole in his heart. A pinprick, because Taehyung wasn’t heartless and knew the old man had brought him into this world, something he will forever be grateful for– but that was it. 
For the thousands of days you and Taehyung had spent together, the day he had proposed would be your second favourite of them all. He hadn’t made it extravagant, nor did he make it a huge point by proposing at a large gathering. He knew you despised those sorts of events, so he had asked you to be his bride at your favourite spot. 
The pond in Taehyung’s gardens had always been your favourite. It felt as though the world only belonged to the two of you when you spent evenings alone, sat on the bench, where fireflies danced over the water, their reflection like little stars scattered across the pond, the moon so much larger in its reflection than it looked in the sky. 
The day of your wedding, and all the days after that would forever take the top spot.
Taehyung had always loved your soul. He knew you were pretty, of course, you were; you were the most ethereal being he had ever come across. 
The faeries and pretty little wonders he read about, he always pictured you in their place. But it wasn’t always about the way you looked that had Taehyung coming back for more, or his heart thumping ever so hard against the skin of his chest whenever you were around. 
He thought you had the most wonderful soul that he liked to dip his fingers into, gentle like the softest waves, or cradle it to his chest. The most delicate part of you, ever so precious, the rawest form of yourself that he’d hold on to for as long as he was allowed. Because if one day the two of you were to ever part, he’d find the path of your soul, trace his fingers through every dip and curve he’d memorized, and make his way back to your side. 
The night of your wedding, the night the both of you had given yourself to one another fully, was never a moment Taehyung thought he’d be ready for. It’s not that he was second-guessing his choice– sometimes in life the moments we’ve been waiting for feel like a lifetime away. So many hours and even more minutes between now and then, that when the day stumbles before you in all its joyous glory, no amount of falling into your mind in silent preparation had ever truly prepared you for this. 
Taehyung had worshipped your body like you were his only goddess, you were his religion, his reason for life and death and everything he breathed and consumed in his fragile mortal body. Your souls knotting as your lips pressed so gently against one another, their pinkies forever intertwined as they melted like candle wax and hardened as one lifeform. 
Taehyung particularly loved the feeling of your nails digging into the delicate skin of his shoulders. A feeling forever ingrained into his mind, sending a shiver up his spine when his mind wanders to how you looked in candlelight, spread bare for him to defile. 
The both of you felt as though the honeymoon phase was nothing but lies, an easy scare for those who fell too fast, drowning in acidic love that dragged two people away from one another in harsh waves. Because for you and Taehyung, it never ended. 
Every day that you woke up to Taehyung beside you, had you burying your face in your pillow, smile so hard to contain you covered it up with a kiss to Taehyung’s lips as he slowly woke up. 
“I love you” he’d murmur, eyes barely open. 
“I love you more” a hand cupping his cheek, you’d press a kiss to his jaw; sometimes tickled by the stubble that had grown in. 
Something ever so mundane, yet it always seemed to bring you so much happiness. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
For a week during the summer, Taehyung would hand his duties over to his assistant and take you away for a short vacation. 
You liked the little house the both of you owned on the other side of town, secluded from the rest of the world. 
It had been one summer when your love for rain had started. You often found yourself reading by the window when the summer showers would pay you a visit, dousing the garden in muddy puddles and the gentle pitter-patter of the world’s tears hitting the ground easy white noise as you danced across pages of books. Or simply watched Taehyung sits on the piano bench, only so he could sit in your company.
Taehyung had always loved playing the piano, one of his many loves that he’d buried with the immense amount of work that had piled on to him since taking the seat as head of the household. The grand piano that sat in the far room of the house was his secret door of salvation. 
“Will you play me a piece?” you motion towards the piano, doors to the garden hooked open. Sure to slam shut with the wind picking up. The air was a little sweeter that afternoon, a gentle breeze raking through your hair, licking at the tops of the pages of your book. 
“I haven’t played for a while” Taehyung closes his own book, “But if it’s for you, I could never say no” 
You take a seat beside Taehyung as he flexes his fingers, gently running his hand over the ivory keys. 
“Would you like me to get your music book?” you lay your head on his shoulder. 
He shakes his head, “No, it’s alright. I doubt I’d remember how to read much of it anyways” 
“Do you remember my favourite piece?” 
Taehyung’s tongue wets his bottom lip, “I should hope so” 
Your eyes close as the first note penetrates the air, your head jostling slightly as Taehyung reaches the other end of the keys, his cheek knocking against the top of your head. The tips of his fingers dance elegantly, gentle with each deep hum of the piano’s song. 
You perk up at the first sound of rain, barely there, almost concealed by Taehyung as his movements become bolder, each thick note more pronounced, each deep hum vibrating through your skin. 
You lift your head from his shoulder, “I didn’t think it would rain today” 
You take one look at Taehyung, the smallest smile teasing at his lips when you stand. You kick your slippers off by the open door, toes curling into the damp grass as you step outside. 
You blink as a raindrop falls on your nose, slipping until it’s wetting your lips. You turn back to look at Taehyung, waving when he lifts his head to look at you; and he winces when he presses the wrong note. 
You wander further into the garden, hiking your skirt up so it won’t drag across the wet soil. 
As the rain gets heavier the sound of the piano is slowly drowned out, the world yours for the moment before you’re turning back to Taehyung. 
“Tae” you call back inside, beckoning him over when he turns towards you, “Come dance with me” 
The piano is left and forgotten as Taehyung pushes himself to stand, shoes piled with your slippers as Taehyung steps into the garden. He slinks towards you, hair starting to cling to his forehead as the rain gets heavier. 
“You’ll catch a cold” he takes your hand, tugging you into his chest. 
“But the world is so beautiful when it rains” 
“Just this once I’ll indulge you” he presses a kiss to your forehead. 
As much as the world looks wonderful in that moment, Taehyung outshined it all. Your clothes stuck to the both of you like a second skin, your hair tickling the side of your face, clinging to you like sticky wet vines down the back of your neck.
Taehyung’s hands wander your body, pulling you closer when you start to drift away– your hips finally falling in sync. All those hours of classes on how to dance are washed away by the rain as the both of you stumble, almost falling over each other’s feet. 
“Look” you point towards the back of the estate, “there’s a rainbow” you laugh. 
Taehyung follows your line of sight, “How pretty” he hums, his hands falling to your waist. 
Your fingers tease over his chest, heart hammering under his skin, mere seconds away from jumping out of his skin. Taehyung’s hands wander further down, a surprised moan catching in the back of your throat when he grabs the meat of your ass; tugging you into his body. And you can feel his growing erection against your stomach.  
“Not in the garden” you whisper, fingers trailing lower until you’re gently tugging at his belt. 
Taehyung leans down, warm breath fanning the side of your neck. He presses a wet kiss to the unblemished skin, “I wouldn’t give the serving staff the pleasure of seeing you fall apart for me” he whispers, sodden hair falling over your shoulder.
You take his hands from where they’re teasing over the top of your thighs, “Let’s go” you take long strides back towards the house. 
“Where to, my love?” he trails after you, the most giddy smile on his face. 
You look at him over your shoulder, “Our bedroom” 
Your feet slap wetly against the tile floors, muddy footprints trailing behind the both of you. Youthful joy thrums throughout your body, giggles hard to keep down as the both of you stagger through the hallway towards the bedroom. 
Taehyung’s overzealous in the way he opens the door, and you both wince when it bangs against the wall. The briefest clarity grazes your mind before lust sets back in, and all you can focus on is the incessant throbbing between your legs, and the man stood before you. 
You kick the door closed, Taehyung pulling his wet shirt over his head when you turn back to him– your dress is soon to follow. 
“Would you mind helping me?” you turn your back to Taehyung, shoulders curling inwards as his fingers trace over the intricate ribbing of your corset. 
He’s gentle as he tugs at the ribbons, and you heave a sigh of relief, muscles finally easing a little. Dull throb sinks out of your ribs as you heave a deep breath. 
You turn around, Taehyung’s eyes trailing to your bare chest, curving down the slope, fingers itching at his sides to sink and dig his nails into the plush flesh. He swallows, Adams's apple bobbing under the weight of desire. 
“My beautiful wife” he whispers, hands running up the length of your arms before he’s teasing the edge of your breasts. You trace over his belt, tugging impatiently as he pulls you towards the bed. 
You fall backwards onto the mattress, air momentarily punched from your lungs. Taehyung’s arms cage your head, thigh nudging your legs open for him. 
Your wet hair sticks to your neck, small droplets of water falling over your cheeks from Taehyung’s own hair as his eyes wander over your face. Windows to his soul wide open as sickly sweet love dances within his eyes, adoration you know you’ll never get from another man bared naked, yours for the taking. 
You rut up against his knee, damp cotton panties dragging deliciously against your clit. 
Taehyung’s arms flex as he leans down, plush lips trailing down your jaw, gently plucking soft moans from the back of your throat with every mean nip of his teeth over delicate skin. 
Your thighs clamp around Tae’s leg, arms slithering around his shoulders as you use him for your own pleasure, short bursts of pure arousal wracking up your body with every purposeful tense of his muscles. 
“Good girl” he groans, falling to hold himself up by his elbows as his lips map out the rest of your body– kissing over your neck, the underside of your breasts, down towards your stomach. You whine as he kneels before you, hips bucking upwards to try and chase the slowly fizzling pleasure. 
He kisses your mound over your underwear, tips of his fingers barely brushing over your clit as he trails them down towards your covered folds. Thumb splitting your labia, guttural groan rumbling from his chest as he feels your slick heat.
He can’t seem to stifle the chuckle that slips past his lips either as you whine, the most pitiful pout tugging onto your face as he teases you. 
“How needy” he croons, adding a little more pressure over your entrance, “I’ll make sure to make you feel good” 
You lift your hips, a silent invitation for him to tug your panties off, and he does, dropping them beside him; forgotten as he looks at your slick soaked pussy. 
“Tae” you whisper, impatient as your fingers tangle into his wet hair, careful as you try and tug him closer to where you needed him most without hurting him.
“Hm?” he hums, fingers digging into the meat of your thighs as he pushes them open a little wider, making it easier for him to slip closer to his favourite place. 
Your toes curl as he bends, placing the lightest kiss over your clit, “Want you” 
“Want you too, my love” he murmurs, hot breath fanning over your folds. 
He licks a bold stripe from your entrance to your clit, tongue dipping past your walls before he’s pulling back, wad of spit dribbling over your already sodden cunt.
Your thighs threaten to twitch closed, and when Taehyung notices this he tugs them over his shoulders, dragging you a little further to the edge of the bed. 
His thumb teases over your clit, thrumming at the sensitive little bud as he pushes his tongue back inside of you. The moan you let out is sure to have echoed down the halls, your embarrassment only amplified when you feel another dribble of slick gush past your walls, sure to coat Taehyung’s chin shiny. 
“M’ gonna cum” you hiccup, hips frantically bucking upwards as Taehyung further smothers his face into your pussy. 
He hums, a new wave of arousal coursing through your body at the unexpected vibrations. 
It’s a haphazard flick of your clit that has you tumbling head first into your orgasm, thighs quivering as they clamp around Taehyung’s head, though that doesn’t seem to deter him as he licks into your cunt, swallowing down your release. 
“S’ too much” you sob, hands pushing your lover from between your thighs. He kisses your knee, head flopping across your leg as he looks up at you. 
Your stomach clenches at the dopey smile on his face, thumb running over his bottom lip, still shiny with your arousal. 
“Are you tired, my love?” he asks, fingers curling around your wrists, kissing your palm, then the tips of each finger. 
You shake your head, “I can still go if you’d like” 
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you”
You swallow, unexplainable love swelling inside your chest. 
“Please make love to me” you whisper, pink hue deepening in shade on your cheeks as Taehyung stands at full height, shucking off whatever clothes he still had on. 
You can’t help but wet your lips, watching as he runs a gentle hand over his length, slicking his cock up with pearly beads of precome. 
You push yourself up further on the bed, legs falling open as Taehyung kneels before you. 
He runs a finger through your folds, barely dipping a fingertip inside of you before he’s pulling out, pushing your thighs further apart. 
He guides his cock to your entrance, slicking the head with your cum before he’s gently pushing into you. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, cunt clenching around Taehyung’s length as he gently rocks into you. 
He groans, barely pulling out before feeding you another inch. His hands roam up the length of your body as he finally bottoms out, hips rutting into you by habit. 
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss which he melts into, eyes fluttering shut as he tilts his head, tongue teasing over the seam of your lips. 
He licks up into your mouth, concoction of your saliva clinging to his tongue when he pulls back. 
“Ready?” he murmurs against your lips. 
“Mmhmm” you hum, muscles falling lax as Taehyung pushes your thighs up to your chest. He almost pulls out, the air punched from your lungs as he snaps back into you. 
Unabashed, you moan, Taehyung’s name tumbling from your lips like it were the only word you knew as he thrusts into you. 
It’s wet when Taehyung’s thighs meet your ass, sticky with arousal that clings to both your skin and moans a harmony with one another. 
Your hand snakes down the length of your body, between your thighs, teasing over your clit as Taehyung throws his head back, utterly consumed by unadulterated pleasure. 
“Together” he groans, hips losing their calculated pace. 
His cockhead nudges over your sweet spot, a whine dripping off your lips that Taehyung catches, kiss messy, teeth clashing. 
You pick up the pace on your clit, fizzling pleasure slipping down your spine, slick gushing from your hole, so many feelings, so many emotions– all amplified as endorphins buzz at your brain, a shockwave of dopamine setting you alight.   
You feel Taehyung twitch between your walls, your pussy clenching sporadically around his length as he nears his orgasm. 
Taehyung tips over the edge before you do, creamy white cum painting your walls in thick ropes. Your own orgasm following as you feel another wave of Taehyung’s seed flood your cunt. 
His hips twitch as you continue to clench around him, pushing his release further into you. 
Your chest stutters as you try and catch your breath, fingers splayed over your mound as you fall back into reality. 
Your moan as Taehyung pulls out, a hiccup following as he presses a kiss to your cheek. His fingers gather up the dribble of cum that follows his cock, pushing it back inside of you. And you twitch at that, overstimulated. 
He reaches behind your head for a pillow, your thighs falling to the bed, to which Taehyung tuts. 
“Lift your hips up for me, darling” he soothes, singular hand gathering both your ankles, pulling the lower half of your body from the mattress so he can slip the pillow underneath you. 
“You’d look awfully pretty baring my child” his hand trails down your stomach, over your womb. 
“I hope this time we are lucky” you tell him, finger interlacing with the ones over your stomach. 
“Me too, my love. Our child would be the most precious little thing” 
You smile, eyes slipping shut as you paint the image of what your baby would look like, “I hope they look like you” 
“I’d always wished they’d look like you. Their mother holds all the beauty of this cruel world” 
You can’t help the laugh that bubbles from your chest, “Then how about they look like the both of us, as their father shares all of that beauty” 
“That would be wonderful” Taehyung pushes himself off the bed, slipping on a robe that had been forgotten on one of the chairs that morning. 
“What if they aren’t a boy?” your hands fall over your chest, watching Taehyung as he gathers the bowl of water and towels. 
He turns to look at you, “What would it matter if they were a girl?” his eyebrows furrow. 
“Wouldn’t you need an heir” 
He wets his bottom lip, “Boy or girl, I’m not bothered, my love. If we were to have a son then I would never subject them to the horrors of becoming heir. And if we have a precious little daughter, I would love her all the same, and if one day she decides she wants to take over the estate then I would let her” 
The corners of your lips tug up into a smile, “Then I am glad” Your hand finds his as he takes a seat beside you on the bed, dipping the towel into water, gently dragging it over your sweat-slicked skin. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Falling in love with Taehyung had made you a lot of things. 
Juvenile had never been on top of that list, though when you think about it, it really should have been. Or that somewhere written in the fine print of your story, neither of you would die, that you’d both freeze in time and continue your lives for the rest of eternity. 
Some days when you’d sit alone, you wish Monet had been around during your life with Taehyung. His paintings as beautiful as the love you shared. Paintings full of purpose, the world through the eyes of a man– impressionist paintings that had so much raw colour, so much more vibrance than the real world. 
You wish he’d have been able to put paint to canvas, where every gentle stroke of his brush was a piece of stupid, young naivety put into breath-taking art. Meaningful, purposeful, and beautiful. Because your ignorance would have made a beautiful collection, a series of a time when the future wasn’t as perfect as his art. Bringing both you and your lover to downfall. 
Your life was not the art of Monet, nor was it as mesmerising as Van Gogh’s Starry Night. You weren’t frozen in time like you were part of history, forever documented on paper and hung for the world to see. 
You were naive enough to think that with Taehyung’s new rise to power, somewhat unexpected in high society, he wouldn’t have one or two enemies. 
The end of your first life hadn’t been what you had wanted it to be. 
As much as you remember the day you had gotten married or all the afternoons you and Taehyung had spent in the garden, dancing in the rain, under rainbows and the sun that peeked through the clouds, there to celebrate your love just as much as the both of you were; what was supposed to be the perfect ending like all the far-fetched stories Taehyung read, this was more of a tragedy. 
Because that’s what it was– farfetched. 
You remember the afternoon that the perfect life you had, had crumbled. Sand slipping through your fingers, falling to the bottom of the hourglass. 
You lay on the couch, your foot tapping against the arm, Taehyung’s quil tinking against the bottle of ink. In recent months you’d found yourself reading Taehyung’s favourite books, all of their spines worn down, loved and read over and over. 
“Do you smell that?” you push yourself up onto your elbows, the book laid over your lap. 
“Smell what, my darling?” he takes off his glasses, hand running over his tired eyes. 
Your eyes meet Tae’s, “Something smells as though it’s burning” 
The both of you sit in silence for a moment before Taehyung pushes his chair back, peering out the window. His fingers try and pull at the latch, finding it stuck, and he turns back to you. 
“Maybe I’m imagining it” you tell him when you see his eyebrows furrow. 
“I can definitely smell something” he turns back to you, “I can’t tell what. Go and call someone to open this window, it’s jammed”
Your book is dropped onto the couch as you push yourself up, you go to open the door to Taehyung’s office, only for the door not to open. You push a little harder, shoulder knocking uncomfortably against the hardwood. 
You press an ear to the door. 
“What’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, stalking towards you. 
“It won’t open” 
Taehyung makes a noise from the back of his throat, and you step out of the way when he takes hold of the door handle. 
He mirrors your earlier action, shoulder knocking against the door. 
“It won’t open” he turns to you. 
“I know, my love” A gentle smile moulds onto your lips. 
You press your ear to the door again, “Do you hear that?” 
Taehyung follows; ear pressed to the door, “Burning?” 
“Burning?” you stand straight. 
You crouch down, fingers feeling over the gap between the floor and door, “Hello?” you call out, hand flinching away as heat licks over your fingers. 
“Is anyone there?” Taehyung shouts, fist banging against the door. 
“Taehyung” you tug at his shirt, trying to pull him away from the door. He relents, taking a step forwards, “Taehyung, it’s a fire” You take his hand. 
“What?” 
“It’s a fire” You show him your fingertips, hands shaking slightly as the reality of what was happening settles in. 
“You’re hurt” he murmurs, “If one of the staff would just answer we could treat your wounds” his lips barely brush over the burn. 
“Taehyung it’s barely an injury, not when we’re locked in here with a fire right outside that door” 
He swallows, “We’ll find a way out” 
“How?” you dare ask, “We can’t go out the window, that’s suicide from this high up” 
His foot taps against the floor, hand running over his jaw in thought. 
Your focus is snatched away from your lover when something creaks, burning flames slithering under the crack under the door, molten snakes with no goal in mind. 
Taehyung pulls you further into his office, the door crackling as the flames start to chew it up, an onslaught of heat spilling into the room. You can smell the gasoline, splintered wood glistening in it as the door creaks off its hinges, flinging the fire further into the office, and you watch as it singes over the carpet. 
The flames dance before you, a mesmerising dance, crawling up the walls, heated footsteps stalking across the rug, heady puffs of carbon monoxide smoking into the air. 
Your hand flies to cover your mouth when a thin wisp of smoke slips down your windpipe, tickling your throat and searing at the inside of your lungs. 
Taehyung pulls you into his chest as you back into the wall furthest away from the fire, “It’s going to be okay” he heaves, his own hand covering his nose and mouth, dry cough spluttering past his lips. 
Your eyes squeeze shut as the fire slinks closer to the both of you, dangerously close, teasing as it flicks at your ankles, its amble arms chewing up the bookcases, rage only amplifying with each novel it consumes. 
You catch sight of a silhouette standing outside the office, body veiled by thick flames that continue to slink into the office. Another splash of gasoline only makes it burn brighter, sweat tickling the back of your neck. 
Your arms slip around Taehyung’s waist, and he helps you both sit on the ground, arms now holding your shoulders. A lame attempt at holding you away from the blazing fire that creeps closer. 
Your lungs can’t seem to get enough oxygen, panic setting into your bones as you heave for a full breath. Your eyes water as you choke on what should have been a rush of oxygen, only your lungs burn with the ash that settles inside of you, clinging to your windpipe– coating the inside of your mouth. 
“Try not to–” Taehyung coughs, hand lifting to clasp around his throat, cheeks flushing a deep red “-breathe it in too much– cyanide” 
A yelp gets caught in your throat as the flames flicker too close to you, singing the hem of your dress. You try and kick it away, hand flapping down to make sure the fire doesn’t chew at any more of your clothing. You try to ignore the prickly burn to your bare skin, eyes squeezing shut as you try and curl in on yourself to make you smaller. 
You tug on Taehyung’s shirt, dry cough lurching your body forward that Taehyung tries to catch only to heave. 
“I love you” you whisper, the both of you cornered. Nowhere to run. 
The figure stood outside the office long gone, fire now out of their control. A wild beast that had no plans of stopping until it had chewed and gnawed at your home, until it had nothing to fuel it anymore, leaving behind piles of ash and broken dreams– charred bodies and guilty minds to the ones who had started this. 
You flinch backwards when Taehyung’s desk folds in on itself, flames spitting out its joy as the planks of wood slowly char under the heat; a warning for your own destiny. 
His fingers lace into the hair on the back of your head, pulling you into him, “And I love you. When the both of us are reborn, I will find you, and we can fall in love all over again” he manages, the flames looking like hellish wings behind his back, slowly licking at his shirt, sizzling the fabric– more chemicals sifting through the air and into your fragile lungs. 
Taehyung curls further into you when the fire licks at his shoes, easily chewing through the leather, deft fingertips tracing up his legs, and over his body.
“Don’t say that” Your fingers loosen their grasp on his shirt as you heave for another breath, mind entirely gone as you spin, the world spinning with you. Your brain felt as though it were being flushed out with helium, pressure so much you think it might explode. 
Your eyes squeeze shut.
And when you open again, Jimin’s there. 
His eyes still wide with shock. 
You feel bile rise up your throat at the sight of him, blood smeared across his perfect face, puncture still oozing red from his neck soaking through his shirt fully. Your floor is in no better shape, though you think there's as much of your own blood as there is his. 
“Jimin?” you whisper, vision momentarily veiled by salty tears that fall down your cheeks like pitiful pearls, mixing with the crimson the drips from a gash in your head, dull ache migrating to behind your eyes. 
“Jimin you have to wake up now. Please” 
He doesn’t move, not when you hear footsteps from the other room– heavy boots that clatter against old wood– not when you call his name. Not when the front door creaks closed and the world is silent once more, or when your chest stutters out another breath and you feel another wave of blood gush out of your stomach, adding to the puddle below the both of you. 
“Jimin” you call again, choking on your own sob, fists balling up, “Jimin, please don’t leave me. I’m scared” 
You look into his eyes. Nothing. All signs of life spilt onto the floor. 
In a sick and twisted way, you’re glad Jimin had gone before you. 
You’d have hated it if he had to watch you dead on the bedroom floor while he slowly follows you. At least now you could be with him a little longer, even if you couldn’t tell him goodbye for the last time. Or tell him how much you love him, or how happy he’d made you, or how grateful you are. 
So many words left unsaid, that you swallow back down with a sob. And they mix with the bile that singes your throat, so close to spilling onto the puddle of red as you make eye contact with your dead lover. 
You drag your body through the blood on the floor, closer until your chest is pressed against Jimin’s and your body falls lax against him, arm slung over his side. 
You press the palm of your hand against your open wound, what little hope you had left inside of you, the smallest voice whispering that maybe you could survive. Though somewhere deeper down you know that your soul will soon follow Taehyung’s, and now Jimin's too. 
You push your head into the curve where his neck meets his shoulder, tangy, metallic blood staining your lips as you kiss over the tainted skin. 
He was still warm, skin still very much his as your fingers skim over his back. Ever so gentle as though he would crack if you weren’t careful. And you would have gathered him up in your arms if you’d had the strength. 
And at that final moment when it settles within your mind and your heart that your body can no longer hold onto the slither of life still inside of you– the easing thump of your heart mellowing inside your chest. You remember the little note Jimin left on his pillow for you to wake up to that morning. 
“When you and I hug, our hearts are locked behind our ribcages and touch through our skin. Always beating in sync. And for as long as my heart beats beside yours, it will belong to you. For those moments we part, perhaps it falls out of sync, and when we reunite, my heart may just be reminded who it beats for. And we will be in sync once more ♡’
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☆゚ thank you for reading!! reblogs are always appreciated, and please let me know what you think!!
permanent taglist: @m1sss1mp @supernoonanyc
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aeor-is-for-reccing · 11 months
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Hidden Gems: A Shadowgast Rec List
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This week, we have one of our recurring themes: fics with fewer than 150 kudos! Check under the cut for fourteen amazing fics that you might have missed the first time around:
Ocean Blues by Vailee (3836,General)
Warnings: None
On a remote island, Caleb meets a merman named Essek.
Reccer says: The description of merman Essek with his fins and tail is very adorable.
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Breaking Inertia by futureshieldmaiden (31096,Teen)
Warnings: None
A time loop fic where Bren has to work with the Shadowhand Essek Thelyss to straighten out time.
Reccer says: There's a lovely slow burn between the two, and I like the plot develops - with a couple of twists along the way.
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flurries by quinn_of_aebradore (1381,General)
Warnings: none
Caleb and Essek visit a night market
Reccer says: It's extremely sweet and soft, with a warm and cozy wintertime feel to it.
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the start: wings to chase the sky by mllekurtz (TheKnittingJedi) (2662,Teen)
Warnings: None, but note that the other part of the duology has its own tags! (calamity fic)
Part of a duology of an Age of Arcanum AU where Caleb and Essek are prestigious wizards of Avalir. A getting-together ficlet.
Reccer says: Mlle is so good at writing the shadowgast getting together, and it's fun to see the wizards in this lavish arcane world.
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in the blood by VexedVixen (11075,Mature)
Warnings: None
Vampire!Essek rescues an injured Caleb and brings him to his towers in Rosohna. Caleb is them offered a job by Essek - a job that includes donating some blood.
Reccer says: The worldbuilding is so cool! Always nice to see a good vampire AU.
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A Thousand Words, Unspoken by soot_and_salt (3150,General)
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (technically, but it's not a dark story)
Caleb runs a YouTube channel where he films himself restoring paintings. The latest one to come in is a portrait of a beautiful drow man.
Reccer says: If you're familiar with the story of Pygmalion and Galatea, it's a little like that.
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you're the only light i've ever known by glossolali (1463,Teen)
Warnings: None
After their bath, Essek combs and plays with Caleb's hair. Caleb enjoys himself.
Reccer says: It's very sweet and tender. And like the author says in the end note, it shows how Caleb has changed and healed over the course of campaign 2.
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Break Me, Mend Me by Kaiannae (21835,Mature)
Warnings: Depiction of depression and self-sabotage, CNC if you squint, borderline force feeding if you squint.
Caleb's self-loathing is rearing its ugly head and he is spiraling out of control, pushing his friends and chosen family away, isolating himself from those who care about him and attempting to sabotage everything good in his life. Eventually, Essek decides to do something about it. He knows that nothing mundane like talking would be of any help, so he offers Caleb what the human thinks he wants: punishment, atonement, debasement, a way to quiet the vicious voices in his head.
Reccer says: BDSM as therapy, sort of, getting into Caleb's head for the character study, aftercare for the masses, doms and subs alike.
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Silver Couches To Recline Upon And Ornaments Of Gold by soot_and_salt (3242,Teen)
Warnings: None
Essek, unable to leave the tower he resides in, finds a cat on his balcony. He soon discovers there is more to this cat than he could have ever imagined.
Reccer says: It is a fairy tale au and I am a big fan of fairy tales.
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Let the River Carry You by Operafloozy (2983,General)
Warnings: none
Essek knits something for each of the Nein
Reccer says: It's very sweet and thoughtful, and I love the description of the patterns
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in vaults and cherished amber by allinna (4406,Teen)
Warnings: none
At the Vurmas Outpost, Essek receives some well-deserved love from Caleb and the M9.
Reccer says: it's a sweet, comfy fic that makes you smile! what more would you want.
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born from beauty by hanap (2375,Explicit)
Warnings: None
Caleb and Essek have a conversation about their respective experiences with gender and what it means to feel at home in one's body, after which Essek shows his love for Caleb's body by giving him a blowjob.
Reccer says: I resonate with both Caleb and Essek's experiences of gender in this fic, so it was a lovely experience getting to read how much the two of them love each other's bodies that are so similar to mine.
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if only I could see your face by lakrisrot (3399,Explicit)
Warnings: Can read having a sex-negative to sex-neutral POV character
Caleb spends some time with Essek after the Transmogrification fails. They end up more intimate that expected.
Reccer says: This fic offers a very intriguing look into Essek's mind as an asexual/demi person. I very much enjoyed that.
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And two recs for
the hole in the stone by MinnesotaBruja (13243,Teen)
Warnings: Animal/Pet Death
Shortly after the end of campaign 2, Essek takes a position as a lighthouse keeper on a remote island north of Eiselcross. The fic is comprised of his letters to Caleb.
Reccer 1 says: Essek cares for chickens while living on the island and I find it extremely sweet. Reccer 2 says: Beautiful, heartbreaking, so very well written you will most definitely cry and it's worth every tear!
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Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. And hey! Don’t forget to leave comments and kudos for the lovely authors!
Check out the previous Hidden Gem Recs Lists here [1] [2]
Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Time Travel/Time Loops!
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shivunin · 1 year
Text
Breath of Life
In which Zevran meets a familiar Crow in the streets of Denerim
(Full version (Explicit) on AO3 here)
CW: Hurt/comfort; Blood, wounds, combat, death, spiders; references to near-death experiences
“When I heard that the great Zevran had gone rogue, I simply had to see it for myself.”
Arianwen stared up the stairs at the stranger with the cruel face. Her hand rested on one of the daggers at her back; if Zevran had not made it clear that he knew this man, she would have thrown it already. 
“Is that so?” Zevran said, his voice holding an unfamiliar cold note, “Well—here I am, in the flesh.”
“You can return with me, Zevran,” the Crow at the top of the stairs said, his face twisting into an expression of false sympathy that set Wen’s teeth on edge, “I know why you did this, and I don’t blame you. It’s not too late. Come back and we’ll make up a story. Anyone can make a mistake.”
 Somewhere behind her, she heard Alistair take a slow breath. There was no need to look at him; she knew his hand was already on the hilt of his sword. 
Ready to step between them if Zevran tried to stab her in the back. 
Anyone can make a mistake. Yes; that was something Wen knew all too well. She’d made far too many herself, though she tried to think about them as little as possible. Had it been a mistake to trust Zevran? To fall in—
No. 
No, she didn’t think so. 
Wen turned to look at her lover, lifting her chin, and spoke. 
“Of course, I’d need to be dead first.”
Zevran met her eyes, reading something there, and gave her the smallest nod before turning again to Taliesen.
“And I’m not about to let that happen,” Zevran said, resolution coloring every syllable of the words. 
She had not doubted him—not really, not after the past few months—but even so, some unnamed fear melted away in Arianwen’s chest.
“What? You’ve gone soft!” Taliesen spat. Scorn painted deep lines on either side of his mouth, and to her right Zevran’s shoulders loosened slightly. 
Someone was creeping closer to Wen’s group; she could see them out of the corner of her eye, shifting slightly beside the stairs. The blade at her back came free from its bandolier soundlessly, slipping into her hands like the touch of an old friend. 
“I am sorry, my old friend,” Zevran said, and Wen knew him well enough to know that the note of sadness in his voice was real, “But the answer is no. I’m not coming back…and you should have stayed in Antiva.”
The Crows who’d been creeping closer struck, Taliesen among them. As Zevran finished speaking, Tabris’s hand whipped out from behind her back and her blade bloomed from the throat of the fighter by the stairs. They fell soundlessly, not that any of them could have noticed; battle had been joined in full, and she and her friends had their hands full already. 
Zevran darted past her and up the stairs, sword and dagger in hand. That seemed right; a betrayal by an old friend must be his to handle by rights. She did not try to stop him, nor did she follow him. When another Crow raised her blade to intercept Zevran, Arianwen threw another dagger, and then another when the first failed to incapacitate the woman. While the steel spiraled through the air, she slicked her sword with poison and blocked a blow meant for her shoulder. 
There had been a break in the crowd right at the beginning, which was how Zev had gotten through, but the rest closed ranks around them now. Wen found herself back to back with Alistair, batting away another slash at her torso before she stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled hard. 
She’d no idea where the lovely spider kept herself while they traveled through Denerim, but Princess dropped down from a rooftop nearby and leapt for a bowman, snapping him up in her pincers with a sickening crunch. 
“Ugh,” Alistair said emphatically, and Wen laughed, already caught in the high she always felt when fighting. 
“Don’t fuss, Ali, I’m sure it’s delightful—right, Morrigan?” Arianwen said, but it was no use; the mage in question did not have a mouth fit for speaking at the moment. A bear battled at their side instead, batting one Crow into another with a crushing blow of the paw. When the two fell, the crowd around them opened for a moment and she had a clear view of her lover, still fighting at the top of the stairs.
Zevran could hold his own; she knew that. What Wen did not know was how to balance her feelings for him with an honest estimate of his abilities. For example—he bled from a wound along his side now, and though it was plainly a slice across the ribs the sight of it filled her with an unbounded rage. 
How dare this stranger lay hands on one under her protection? How dare he harm what was hers?
She fought all the harder, some of the joy of battle going from her all at once. She threw a handful of dust into the face of one man, then slit his throat while he was still coughing. When he fell away, she shifted forward, and drove her foot between the legs of the man who tried to block her. It would have been smart to stab him in the heart when he fell to the ground, but she leapt over him instead and started up the stairs. Alistair cursed behind her, and there was another horrible crunch, but Arianwen paid them little mind. 
Taliesen was laughing, batting away Zevran’s dagger and returning the attempted blow with a strike across Zevran’s forearm. She could see the jump in the muscle along his jaw, a sure sign that he was in pain, and his sword fell from his hand. 
A body was in her way; Arianwen hardly even looked at it as she drove her longsword into its belly and shook it from the steel. 
At the top of the stairs, Zevran danced away from another blow and sliced Taliesen’s cheek. The latter laughed as blood poured down his cheek, then swung hard at Zev. Dodge, dodge, strike—but Zevran had overextended himself and knew it, from the way his brows drew down even as his dagger drove toward Taliesen’s throat. 
She was not moving fast enough. He needed her—he needed her and she was—
Wen spat in the face of the person before her, drove a dagger through his eye, then threw it at Taliesen. It would have hit—she knew damn well how to throw a dagger, even one with a hilt like this—but another Crow got in the way, dancing back from the bear ascending the steps behind her. The dagger killed the woman, but it was too late. 
Taliesen caught Zevran’s wrist, grinned, and drove his blade into her lover’s belly. 
“No,” Tabris screamed, ducking the Crow’s body that slumped before her. Magic hissed past her face and struck Taliesen, but Wen paid it little mind. Zevran slid from Taliesen’s blade, his face turned up, one hand still clutching a dagger—her mother’s dagger, the one her father had hidden under the floorboards for over a decade. 
Arianwen felled another assassin and dodged their falling body to race upward. It felt like all of this was happening too slow; she couldn’t seem to lift her leaden legs, nor to make her eyes focus as they ought. 
Taliesen laughed when Zevran hit the ground. Then, he bent and reached for the rosewood and silver hilt of her mother’s dagger.
No; he would not. Could not. She would not allow it.
Wen found a burst of speed from some hidden well within her and threw herself at Taliesen, knocking him back several steps before he recovered. 
“Don’t be mad,” he laughed, “It’s what he wanted!” 
Wen dodged a blow, rapidly scanning the wounds Zev had scored into the man’s body. He was favoring his left side and his arm was bleeding badly. Good; she would make this quick, damn him. 
Zevran needed her. 
“Didn’t you know?” Taliesen went on, swinging for her arm and dodging back when she took advantage of the opening to stab at his side. 
“He came here to die. I’m only giving him what he wanted.”
Taliesen grunted when her sword dug deep into his bicep, then dropped his dagger when Arianwen pulled away. Good; she’d hit something important, then. There was a buzzing in Wen’s ears that did not entirely sound like the usual battlesong her blood hummed to her. No; it was fear, fear she never felt when she fought anymore. 
Zevran lay on the ground beside her, choking on his own blood—and the man who would call him dead was still talking. 
Wen ducked a strike, spun up beneath his guard, and drove her poisoned dagger sideways between his ribs—a trick Zev had taught her. 
Damn him, he had to live. 
“Clever tr—” Taliesen began as the blood began to spread beneath his tunic. He did not go on; ice spread from his chest to his mouth, stilling his tongue, and Arianwen did not wait for Morrigan’s spell to wear off. 
She kicked her mother’s dagger into the air, replacing the one she’d left on the stairs, and caught it in one smooth motion. When she drove it into the man’s heart, it made a soft crackling noise, as a kitchen knife cutting into frozen meat. 
“Shut up,” she spat, and pulled the dagger loose with a practiced tug. 
Taliesen fell to the stone behind her, but she was no longer looking at him—or anything else. The fight might still be going on down the stairs. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. The others could take care of themselves; her Zevran could not. 
“Zev, Zevran,” she said, falling to her knees and dropping both blades without a second thought, “Look at me. Look at me?” 
His eyelashes fluttered against his cheek, as if he was trying to do as she said, and one hand pressed over the gaping wound in his belly. 
Maker; she’d seen the blade go through to the other side. He wasn’t—he wasn’t—
“Open—open your mouth,” she said instead, slipping one arm under his neck and tugging a potion from her belt with the other hand, “Open—for me?”
Zevran’s lips did not move; Wen had to do it instead, pressing his lower lip open so she could tip the viscous red potion into his mouth. He swallowed reflexively, his breath wheezing horribly as soon as he’d finished. 
“It’s going—you’ll be—” she could not find the words. Wen had never been good at comfort, and now that she needed to know what she was saying the right words flew right out of her head. She positioned herself more fully underneath him, cradling the curve of her head in one hand. 
“...wen,” he said, the words more of a rasp than they were words, and she huddled over him. 
If anyone stood behind her with a blade, the strike to end her life would be very easy. She could not even say that she was wary or paying attention; there was no ounce of her focus directed anywhere but at the limp body in her arms. 
“...I,” he tried again, but she shook her head. 
“Don’t—don’t try to talk,” she said, though it felt like there was a hand gripping her throat to stop her words, “Rest, just rest, please.”
Zevran sighed, the exhalation whistling painfully, and he went still in her arms. 
“Zev?” she said, jostling him slightly, and pressed a hand to his throat. 
Was his heart beating? Could she feel the pulse there? She couldn’t tell; her hands were shaking too hard to feel his skin properly, and he was so still. 
“Zevran?” she said again, her voice high and unfamiliar, “Zevran? Look at me, please, oh—No, no, you can’t. You can’t. You promised me, you promised—”
Water dripped down his face, and it was several dizzying breaths before Arianwen realized that they were tears. Her tears, and he was not stirring at the touch of them. She kissed him instead, desperately and repeatedly somehow certain, certain beyond the touch of any doubt, that this must be the thing that made him open his eyes again.
His lips remained still and unmoving beneath hers. Even dozing in the mornings, he responded to her touch; he had never failed to kiss her back. Never, never.
“You promised,” Wen said again, weeping in earnest now. Her grip was tight around his shoulders, and as she spoke Morrigan knelt across from her. 
“Hush,” the witch snapped, firmly enough that Wen’s mouth snapped closed. She could not see the magic the other woman called, but she could feel the hum of it in the air, like a struck tuning fork. An armored hand settled on her shoulder—Alistair’s—and she flinched at the touch. 
“Is he—” Wen began, but Morrigan glared at her until she shut her mouth again. 
It only took a moment; she knew, because she’d seen Wynne cast this same spell a hundred times. Even so, time seemed to stretch before her like a hallway in a nightmare, looming and threatening and dark. Wen’s hands curled into the warmth of Zevran’s body, a silent entreaty, and Alistair’s hand bolstered her, steadying Tabris when she felt she might shake apart. 
Morrigan’s hands fell away. Arianwen, still weeping no matter how she tried to stop, curled over Zevran again and cleared the bloodied golden hair from his face. 
“Come back,” she whispered, as if words could hold him to her, as if words had done a single thing when she’d watched her mother cut to pieces in the street before their house in the alienage. 
“Please,” she said, “Please. Come back to me. You promised.” 
A moment; one silent, awful moment, and then—
Zevran coughed, convulsing in her arms, and dragged his eyes open. They took a moment to focus on her properly, but when they did a smile crept slowly up the sides of his mouth. 
“Now, Warden,” he said, his voice worn and ragged, “Tell me you are not crying over a little flesh wound.”
She stared at him for a moment, tears still falling unchecked from her cheeks. Zevran beamed up at her, as if he’d just done some clever knife trick, and that was what did it.
“I hate you,” she sobbed, bowing over his body until she clutched him too close to see his face, “I hate you, you awful man, don’t you ever—”
“You do not—”
“—ever do that to me again, I thought—”
“—hate me, my dear, I am far too—”
“—you were dead, I thought you—”
“—handsome and clever to hate, and in any case—”
“—left me alone!”
At the vehemence of her words, Zevran sighed and fell silent. The others shifted on either side of them, and soon she heard feet on the stairs beyond. Thank the Maker for that; she felt like she was shaking apart, and the only thing holding her together was the arm he’d wrapped around her back
“I am right here, mi vida,” he murmured, and she squeezed, “Though I may not be if you hold me any tighter.”
Arianwen loosened her grip, sniffling faintly, and turned away to wipe her face clean when he sat up under his own power. 
This—this was exactly what she’d feared when he’d kissed her by the fire all those months ago. She cared too much; it hurt her too much to see him hurt, and the thought of him dying—of leaving her—
She could not bear it. She had to bear it. Tabris was caught between the knowledge of both, the very breath squeezed from her lungs by the conflict between the two.
Wen lifted her mother’s dagger from the stone beside her, pulled a cloth from her pocket, and turned her face away from him while she cleaned it. She took her time, as if the task demanded all her attention, as if each speck of blood on the steel was a personal affront. Zevran drank another potion from his belt before resting his arms on his knees and sighing. 
“And there it is,” he said after a moment, “Taliesen is dead, and I am free of the Crows.”
Wen glanced at him, wiped her face on her shoulders, and returned her attention to the blade. She would need to oil it, she thought, once they returned to Eamon’s estate. It ought to be fully, properly cleaned. 
It was several minutes before Zevran went on.
“They will assume that I am dead along with Taliesen,” he said, ”So long as I do not make my presence known to them, they will not seek me out.”
Wen had to take a drink from her waterskin before she could answer him; her throat still felt too thick, too dry, as if the nearness of losing him had tattered her vocal cords. 
“That’s a good thing, right?” she said at last, and Zevran chuckled. The chuckle grew to a laugh, until he clutched his stomach and coughed instead. 
“A very good thing—it is, in fact, what I’d hoped for ever since you decided not to kill me,” he said, once the coughing stopped. 
Wen nodded once. Away down the stairs, the other two were arguing over a body, Morrigan’s hands in the air and Alistair’s on his hips. Princess was slowly and methodically wrapping a corpse in her web, her long legs delicate and graceful as they spun the body around. Good; they were all fine for the moment. 
Arianwen held the dagger by the blade and extended it to Zevran without looking. He took it from her hand, careful not to cut her, and she heard the soft noise of steel against leather when he tucked it away again.
“ I suppose,” he said tentatively, “it would be…possible for me to leave now. If I wished, I could go far away, somewhere where the Crows would never find me.”
Arianwen stood and retrieved her sword, leaning against the wall beside the platform. She could not watch him while he told her he was leaving; she could hardly look at him at all after what had just happened. He was still sitting in a pool of his own blood; was she to ignore that while he spoke of traipsing across Thedas without her?
Zevran rose with a grunt of pain and she straightened at once, ready to offer aid. He didn’t need it—he rose without help and ran a hand over the blood covering the front of his armor.  
“I think,” he went on contemplatively, “however, that I could also stay here. I…made an oath to help you, after all. And…saving the world seems a worthy task to see through to the end, yes?”
Zevran looked up at her, then, a hopeful glint to his eye, and her heart thudded against her ribs. Stay—oh, she wanted him to stay. Hope hurt her, almost more than the fear had, and she had to push past both before she could bring herself to speak.
“I would be glad to have you stay,” she said, and the words sounded wooden, not like her at all. Zevran didn’t seem to care; he moved closer stiffly, one hand still pressed to his stomach. Tabris turned to face him when he moved, until both of them were leaning against the wall, only inches apart.
“Then stay I shall,” he said, resting one hand on her face and stroking the swell of her cheek, “I am with you until the end.”
It might almost have been romantic; Wen was already stepping closer to kiss him, in fact, the relief of him living and staying stronger than her need to find a small, quiet place to hide away in. 
But—then Zevran went on talking.
“Provided you do not tire of me first,” her lover said with a foolish little smile, “Or I die. Or you die. But—there you go.”
Arianwen tipped her face against his chest, incapable of speech. Or I die—like it was a joke! Like she hadn’t thought she’d lost him not twenty minutes earlier!
Zevran kissed the top of her head by way of apology. 
Arianwen snorted, then laughed; there was absolutely nothing funny about this, or anything that had just happened. She had killed one of his oldest friends; she’d held his dying body in her arms, incapable of doing a single thing to keep him here. 
And she was desperately, endlessly glad that he was still here to make the stupidest, most ill-timed jokes. Wen tipped her head back and laughed, and laughed, until his mouth caught hers and swallowed the sound of it. 
They stood there kissing for a long time, his lips still tasting strongly of elfroot, until the other two went silent behind them and Wen had to walk away to make sure neither had killed the other. 
But she could feel him still, walking along behind her, watching her back—as he was meant to do, for as long as he’d stay by her side. She had only to reach a hand behind her and he would be within reach, reassuring her—reassuring both of them—that this had not been an end after all. 
“Let us move on,” he said when they neared the others, and Arianwen finally let herself relax.
(For @greypetrel's prompt, "a kiss shared while holding your dying lover." It got away from me a bit, but I hope you enjoyed the pain!! c:)
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smooth-boob · 4 months
Text
2023 Fic Year in Review
Thanks @penny-loaf and @hydriotaphia for tagging me!
List of Fics Completed this Year
Excluding the WIPs and stuff started in 2022:
To Tell the Truth - https://archiveofourown.org/works/46747165
The Bustle in a House - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47126467
From the blood of the wound, a flower sprang - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48305152
Overcome - https://archiveofourown.org/works/46083325
Doing The Voices - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47976274
The Morning After Death - https://archiveofourown.org/works/50856436
Running Toward Running Away - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47131885
Number of Words Written
47,530 (only those that are posted; my WIP word count is a very different number lol)
Your Most Popular Fic
To Tell The Truth. That one was a real rising star.
Your Personal Fave
The Bustle in a House, but tbh whatever I've most recently finished is most likely to be my favorite because I'm riding that high of having said what I wanted to say.
You Fav Scene
Don't make me choose!!! Right now I've been thinking about the garden scene and its aftermath from Chapter 3 of The Bustle in a House. I find it difficult to read, and I think that says something about its emotional impact!
A Fic or Scene that Challenged You
Chapter 3 of To Tell the Truth sent me into a creative spiral because I was working to figure out how to make the scene feel as honest and raw as the first two chapters and go really deep and emotionally soft and also get my Barbie dolls to just kiss already! 1000% worth it. That's my other favorite scene.
A Line of Writing You’re Proud Of
From The Morning After Death:
He spends the morning with his youngest siblings (his brother’s children), sharing stories and allowing the memories to crest and break over them in waves. In this family there are so many of them, siblings and stories, that they sometimes tell the same ones, some remembered differently, at different ages, or they confuse each other’s memories for their own and retell those stories, as if all the ways they remember him are true. In a sense, they are true. After all, memory is the only thing they have left.
A Comment that Touched You
Anybody who said my work felt honest, real, and/or special to them, and special shout-out to @andthebubbles for commenting along their journey reading Bustle because it let me know somebody else was out there wanting to read exactly what I wanted to read and to write!
Something that Inspired Your Writing
A fear of grief, Emily Dickinson, watching The Crown, these lines from Richard II that live rent-free in my mind...
For you have but mistook me all this while. / I live with bread like you, feel want, / Taste grief, need friends—subjected thus, / How can you say to me, I am a king?
Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):
It felt really amazing to get properly back into writing in general, and to push the boundaries of emotion I can convey. 2023 was something of a breakthrough year.
Do You Have Any Writing Goals for Next Year?
To actually work on my novel...haha.
As far as fanfiction goes, I really want to finish my Kathony fic that's basically season three for them, which I'd love to put out there before season three comes out. We'll see about that. I'd also like to finish my Bridgerton Phantom of the Opera AU.
In terms of skill development, while I love the precision and brevity of my work, I am trying to slow down more and know when to give scenes space to breathe.
Tagging @andthebubbles, @hyperesthesias, and anyone else who would like to do this!
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emma-frxst · 1 year
Text
Smooth Criminal (Ch. 13)
Pairing: Colossus x reader
Summary: Piotr falls in love with you, an art historian. He doesn’t know that you have a secret double life as an ex-spy turned art thief selling your stolen art to Sebastian Shaw. What happens when your two worlds collide?
warnings: none other than Piotr being a goober in the first half.
a/n- upon rewatching the x men movies, its important to note that the victor creed/ sabertooth in this story is  Liev Schreiber’s sabertooth (x men origins: wolverine).  Thanks for reading! comments are reblogs help me out alot.
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You stood in front of the floor length mirror In your bedroom, contemplating which outfit to wear.
“What do you think, babe?” You called out to Piotr who had just gotten out of the shower.
He rounded the corner of the bathroom and in all his glory, didn’t have any clothes on. Lucky you.
“I think you worry too much darling, you will look beautiful in any outfit you wear. Plus it is only birthday dinner for Cable. Not big deal.” He replied, kissing you on the head.
“You’re not really helping me out here, Petey.”
“I’m sorry I just think you look sexy in everything.” He said, giving your ass a playful slap. He disappeared into the closet before you could get him back.
He was right though. Ever since the incident with Victor, your anxiety had been running on high. It had been months since then, yes. But you still couldn’t shake the feeling something bad was going to happen.
“We need to leave soon darling so I would appreciate if you would make your decision.”
“I’m the one going to make us late? You are the one who is being distracting, waltzing around all naked and such.”
“Daaaa, you got me there.” He said making his way into the closet once more. A smile graced your lips, he was such a cheeky guy when he wanted to be.
“Ready when you are мой дорогой” (my darling) he said, reappearing from the closet a few minutes later.
You and Piotr were going to a restaurant for cable’s birthday with the x-force, which you had grown quite fond of in your time getting to know them.
.. You were laughing and having a good time during your outing. You needed this, it was good to give your mind a break from all the worry.
You were intently listening to Wade tell a story, you looked down to cut off a bite of food and when you looked back up something, someone, in the window behind him caught your eye.
Your blood ran cold.
A chill went creeping down your spine.
Was it? No..no way he’d show up here and make a scene.
Victor.
You leaned left of Wade’s head to get a better view, but he was gone. Maybe you were just seeing things, or dreaming perhaps.
But maybe not.
“You okay y/n?” Cable’s voice bringing you out of your spiraling thoughts. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Yeah.” You set your silverware down. “I just need some air. Excuse me.” You responded and nearly rushed out of the restaurant. Colossus not far behind.
You looked around outside, no Victor, no Shaw, no suspicious cars, nothing.
“дорогой?” (darling) colossus questioned, finding you sitting on the bench outside.
“What’s wrong?”
You foolishly thought that maybe Victor would leave you alone. That he’d let you have your life back. “Nothing, babe, just feeling a little sick.” You forced a smile. “What is really wrong?” Piotr questioned, sitting beside you.
You hesitated on what to say.
“I’ve been..really struggling with my anxiety lately. I feel like it’s taken over.”
Piotr took both your hands in his much larger ones, “We will get through it together моя любовь.” (My love) “I know a few good therapists.” He gave you a reassuring smile.
You ran a hand through his soft black hair and came to rest it on his cheek.
“You know I love you a lot, right?” You gushed, holding back tears. “Like so much”
“Da. I love you too.” He said and planted a kiss on your forehead.
You and Piotr sat in silence for another minute or so. During which time you tried to get ahold of yourself. Your efforts on that front were unsuccessful.
You promised to kill Victor if he ever hurt Piotr. But how would you? He was stronger, faster, and had a healing factor.
You decided you’d need to visit your old friend, professor X. maybe he would know, or at the least, bestow some wisdom upon you.
“Ready to go back inside?” Piotr questioned, his voice soft and gentle. Reassuring.
“Yeah.” You gave him your best smile, hoping he wouldn’t see past your façade.
“Good.” He offered you his hand.
You took it and the two of you went back inside the restaurant.
You turned your head to look behind you, just to make sure Victor wasn’t there. He wasn’t..this time.
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tags: tags lists open! @chromecutie @xenomorphique @evelyn120700 @nightriver99 @iamwarrenspeace @this-that-and-every-thing-else @hsk-puma @bungeewabbit @pianomad @lesbianstarkx @hazilyimagine-blog @super-darkcloudstudent @thehuntress26 @mooleche @rovvboat @leo-writer-deactivated20221124 @dandyqueen @nitemaremotionless @wintersoldierswife @master-sass-blast
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Text
Sing for Me (story for @iamvegorott ); Murdock and Noir story
Noir wasn’t surprised by his current situation. As an Investigative Engineer, he was used to being cornered by goons. This time, however, it seemed he was running this solo. No partner with him, no backup. He was alone.
“Not so big now, are ya, Dick?” The boss was inches away from his face, smiling devilishly. All around them were men holding guns, ready to fire.
“I don’t know,” Noir replied.
“Maybe I have something up my sleeve,” the IE forced a smug smirk on his face. The goons weren’t too bright. They just got lucky. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be able to read his bluff.
“Look at dis guy!” The leader laughed, gesturing in Noir’s direction.
“Too up his own ass to admit he lost,” he made a hand motion for the goons to come closer. The guys follow suit.
“Dat is, unless you sing fer us,” the kingpin threatened.
“Right. Now,” there was a pause between both words. This was it, Noir thought. He was done. All his guns were stolen by this group. His method of communication was destroyed. He was surrounded in a small alley, no room to escape. He was dead. The IE quickly thought over his life. He was the happiest he had been in years. He found a new family in the Ipliers. He had a loving boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going right. It figured that this would happen, then. Joy wasn’t meant for the likes of him. Hell, maybe he deserved—
A hummed melody suddenly echoed down the brick walls. A beautiful, haunting sound. The goons’ weapons were put down, all of them directing their gaze to the alley’s entrance. The humming figure slowly made his way down the alleyway. He continued humming as he went. Each of the men were yearning, burning to hold this man in their arms; to be the only source of the man’s attention. As he came closer, Noir could instantly tell who it was.
‘There’s my crow,’ he thought. Noir was as entranced as the others, if not more. Why were the others here? Why did they think they had a chance? Murdock was his and his alone. All hatred for possessiveness was numbed by pure, overwhelming adoration. Murdock was a treasure, a horde of gold in a dragon’s cave. He was meant to be kept for oneself, to be prized over all else. The murderer made his way to the head of the group. His eyes, covered by shades, were focused solely on this man. The others looked at their leader, enraged. They were ready to shoot him right in the head to win the killer’s heart. The tune faded out as when Murdock was in front of the boss.
“Hello,” Murdock drew out his words, voice smooth like silk.
“What brought you here, handsome?” He cooed.
“Uh,” all at once, the kingpin was at a loss for words.
“My-my boys and I are, uh…teachin’ a guy a lesson.”
“Well, well,” the killer let out a low rumble of a laugh.
“You certainly mean business,” the murderer cupped his hand against the other’s face.
“Yeah,” the boss replied as if he were drunk.
“You want to really prove it?” Murdock asked. The leader numbly nodded his head.
“Put that gun to your head,” his voice got lower, yet kept its soft tone.
“Wh-what?” The leader stuttered. His mind was gradually sobering up.
“Why would I—?”
“I said,” Murdock tore off his sunglasses, revealing swirling, purple eyes. His hand remained on the man’s face, keeping his eyes on him.
“Put the gun to your head,” he spoke slower. The boss was quickly pulled back under. He ripped his gun from the holster on his pants. The man then cocked the weapon, pressing it against his temple. His gaze remained on Murdock, glued to his purple spirals. The killer removed his hand from the man’s face. He knew what to do next.
“Now, pull the trigger,” he watched, a smirk on his face, as the leader’s gun went off. The man fell to the ground, blood splattering throughout the general area. The murderer put his glasses back on. He turned his attention to the goons. They were all shaking in their once perfectly shined shoes.
“Run,” he threatened. The men darted away from the scene. A smile grew on his face as he made his way to Noir. The IE was lightly swaying.
“Now that,” Noir slurred.
“Is some power I can respect.”
“Okay,” Murdock chuckled. He placed his arm around his partner’s shoulders.
“Let’s get out of here,” the murderer then guided him home. There, they would have time to…celebrate this victory. After Noir had sobered up, of course.
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bingsoo-jung · 11 months
Text
This or That
I was tagged by @writinglittlebeasts if anyone else wishes to do this, please just do it. I grant you permission to tag me saying I tagged you okay?​
I am also incredibly opinionated and this is about to show.
|| HISTORICAL or FUTURISTIC ||
So while I almost exclusively write historically set fantasy, I’m actually far more of a scifi girlie! I just... struggle to write it. But I tend to enjoy scifi set in the future a bit more and find the tropes easier to understand. I just tend to get caught up in the granularity of writing it and the science of it. This is very likely because I study astrophysics and math.
|| OPENING or CLOSING CHAPTER ||
While I love closing chapters from other people. I’m better at writing openings. What can I say, I’m a ‘make a fucking splash’ person.
|| LIGHT+FLUFFY or DARK+GRITTY ||
I love fluff. I read so much fluff. I, however, write fucked up little dudes in fucked up little worlds. I also think that keeping your eyes to purely hopeful things can limit the stories you want to tell. While the same can be said for dark and gritty, let’s be honest, no anti-colonial story is ever told with a purely light and fluffy setting. The premise of addressing such violence predicates darker themes. And I really enjoy telling colonizers to fucking shove it.
|| ANIMAL COMPANION or FOUND FAMILY ||
While I can intellectually appreciate a good animal companion. I’m going to be so real with you, I don’t care enough about animals for that. I was never into cats or dogs as a kid, never wanted to be an animal. I like being human so much. On top of which, I think found family is so sweet. While I tend to keep more to ‘actual family’ rather than found family in my writing, I like the idea of making your own fate and comfort and friends, and of binding yourself to people out of choice and dedication and blood. So found family all the fucking way.
|| HORROR or ROMANCE ||
I don’t write horror or romance. But I think there is something shocking and beautiful in the macabre of twisted delights as we fall together and apart and back together again. Also most romance is just written so badly that I think I have to choose horror for this.
|| HARD MAGIC SYSTEM or SOFT MAGIC SYSTEM ||
So legally I should say hard for this, since, once more, local science bitch here. But in reality, soft magic systems I think allow for magic to be more of a mechanic of the plot and relationships than something that must be defined for “plot purposes.” As long as a soft magic system maintains its internal logic system I will often prefer it to a hard magic system. I also think a lot of hard magic systems end up being weirdly sexist (@brandonsanderson you mfer.)
|| STANDALONE or SERIES ||
I love love series. But I think people’ve lost sight of what a good standalone can mean. I also think a lot of people are being pushed into writing series because publishers want money more than they want quality.
|| ONE PROJECT AT A TIME or ALWAYS JUGGLING 2+ ||
I used to be always juggling, but I like having one thing to focus on and spiral about. It also means I’m going crazy over one story, but that’s fine.
|| ONE AWARD WINNER or ONE BESTSELLER ||
Bestseller statuses are meaningless. You know what’s not? A Ignyte or Hugo or Nebula. I like having shiny statues that let you know I was very good at a very specific thing.
|| FANTASY OR SCI-FI ||
See this goes back to the original thing. I am a scientist, most of the media I consume by myself is science fiction. While I do play ttrpgs and almost only play them in fantasy settings, and only write fantasy, this is because I can’t convince other people to play science fiction games with me. I almost only watch scifi shows and listen to scifi podcasts. While I tend to read more fantasy this is because of a lack of good modern scifi in my opinion. Science fiction is at it’s best when there is research behind it, when people bother to realise that the universe is near infinite and thus there are near infinite possibilities for different existences out there.
Magic to me, while beautiful, is something of fairy tales and unrealities in a way we use to discuss the past. Fantasy is how we discuss what was and unpack the yesteryears of existence. The past, no matter how we memorialize what was and what we lost, will always have been imperfect. That’s an unfortunate reality. I write Asian fantasy, and even though I celebrate what was good and what was lost, the deal is that was lost, and we can never truly regain it. And for all the things that were beautiful, there were a hundred more things that weren’t. Like while queerness was more acceptable in Siam and Ayutthaya, it wasn’t perfect. There was still sexism and structural homophobia, and no wishing for what was will change that. But the future is what we make of it, and thus science fiction is how we set down the roads to dream of those better and more perfect futures. I want to make a better world and I think we do that through dreaming a better one.
|| CHARACTER DESCRIPTION or SETTING DESCRIPTION ||
I appreciate a good character description, but I think people tend to focus too much on the reality of what someone looks like rather than the impression it leaves. I also just enjoy writing the setting more. I don’t think character description is always necessary. But knowing where you are and the ways in which location fill characters with sensation are just more fun.
|| FIRST DRAFT or FINAL DRAFT ||
I WANT TO BE DONE. I WANT TO BREAK FREE.
|| LOVE TRIANGLE IN EVERYTHING or NO ROMANTIC ARCS ||
Am I currently trying to solve love triangles with polyamory? Yes. Do I think people need to stop acting like romance is the end all be fucking all of stories and existence and that love comes in more forms than romantic overtures? Yes. Draw back on the romance folks. Sometimes a good plot with solid friendships is better than two people kissing. 
|| CONSTANT SANDSTORM or RAINSTORM ||
I hate both of these. But I hate sand more than I hate water. I am a SEAsian from SoCal. I need humidity to live.
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theold-ultraviolence · 9 months
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hi lovely! this is 🐍 🔪 anon back after like forever!
I saw your post about the stuff in your personal life and with your grandma and I just wanted to say that I went through something similar with my grandmother a couple years ago, and you are not alone, although I don't know if that makes it any better. I just want to say that I am sending warm thoughts and so much love and support your way! ❤️
I also saw your request for fluffy Eddie thoughts, so I wrote a little something for you. no pressure to ever post it or even read it - I wrote it completely in the hope that it would give you even the smallest bit of comfort. in this little blurb, reader gets a very upsetting phone call (although I don't provide any specifics - I tried to keep it vague) and then Eddie comforts her. if this doesn't feel like something that would be helpful or comforting to you right now, please do not read it. literally the only reason it exists is if it would help you at all, so please please please do not read it unless you think it will help. I didn't know a better way to send this much text to you, which is why I did it via ask - but again, you do not have to ever post this or anything. this story is completely yours now, consider it a hug from me to you if you want/need it.
sending so much love and support,
🐍 🔪
"Always"
You sat on Eddie’s bed, the phone receiver still laying in your lap, the spiraling cord pulled almost to its limit from its cradle in the hall. You mindlessly wrapped the cord around your finger and then released it, methodically squeezing all the blood to the tip, then letting it unwind, just to repeat the motion all over again. You barely even registered that you were doing it. Your other hand was grasping the receiver so tightly that it felt like the skin on your knuckles would split. But you barely noticed that either. All you could think about were the words that had been transmitted to you through the tinny sound of the receiver. It sounded unreal – it felt unreal.
            There was no way to tell how long you had been sitting there, staring blankly at the posters and memorabilia that plastered Eddie’s wall. You nearly jumped all the way to the ceiling when you heard the trailer door slam and heard the familiar, comforting noises of Eddie kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag of Hellfire books. The sound brought you back to yourself and you released your grip on the cord and the receiver, running your fingers over the little ridges impressed into your skin by the wrapping of the phone cord. You tried to call out to him, but your voice caught in your throat the first time. Clearing your throat, you tried again.
            “Hey, Eds! I’m back here! How was Hellfire?”
            “It was great! The kids did fantastic – I mean, I had this minotaur…” his words trailed off and his warm voice was replaced by sounds of crinkling chip bags and clinking beer cans. Then you heard him make his way down the hall to you, and you did your very best to make your smile as convincing as possible. You needed to be happy for him – you werehappy for him. It was just that you couldn’t get your mind off the phone call.
            “Umm anyway, I had this minotaur and was really excited to use it but Dustin rolled a nat 20 – a nat 20! – with his vorpal sword and well… it was curtains for Mr. Minotaur!” He punctuated this last exclamation with a laugh as he spilled into the room, all bouncing curls and dimples and a sort of infectious light that always stunned you with its luminosity.
            But without warning, the dimples melted back into his cheeks and his smile faded from his face. He set down the snacks and beer on the nearest horizontal surface he could find that wasn’t already completely covered with his stuff and hurried to you on the bed.
            “Hey, babe,” he said, his voice suddenly soft, “you okay?”
            “Yeah, what do you mean?” you attempted a small chuckle. “Of course I’m fine.” Eddie just shook his head, sending his hair cascading around his face.
            “You failed your deception roll,” he teased gently, reaching a finger up to your cheek and brushing it over your skin that was still wet with tears. Damn it! You thought. You didn’t even realize that you had been crying – but of course Eddie saw it right away. 
            “It’s – it’s nothing. Really.” You pulled his hand from your cheek and cradled it with your own, fidgeting with the rings on his hands, pointedly not looking at his face.
            “It’s not nothing,” his voice was barely above a whisper as he gently tilted your chin up to look at him. His chocolatey eyes gleamed in the low light from the streetlights seeping through the curtains. You could never lie to those eyes.
            “It’s just – it’s – I –” you started three sentences and gave up on each one. But Eddie didn’t press you, he just pulled his long legs up onto the bed and held your trembling hands in his big, warm ones. You closed your eyes and took a breath, feeling the callouses on his skin from playing guitar – a map you had memorized and knew by heart. It grounded you, bringing you home. You took a shaky breath.
            “I got the call.” Was all you were able to get out as new cascades of tears began to stream down your face. But before the tears could even reach your chin, you were suddenly surrounded by the warm, welcoming smell of stale smoke and Eddie’s laundry detergent. He had wrapped his arms around you, completely encasing you in his warmth. It took you only a split second to put your own arms around him, clinging to him like he was the last thing holding you to the earth. You stayed like that for a long time, with him gently rocking the two of you back and forth, stroking your hair as you sobbed into his shoulder.
            “I just – I don’t know what to do,” you were able to eventually sniffle out. Reluctantly, you pulled away from him slightly. You needed to see his face.
            “Sweetheart, I never know what to do,” he said with the slightest lilt of a smile in his voice. You responded with a watery chuckle, savoring this little moment of happiness. “But I do know one thing: and that’s that whatever the hell we need to do, we’ll do it together.”
            You just nodded as you were overcome by another wave of sobs, but not entirely sad ones this time. There was relief and… love. Such deep love and appreciation for Eddie who was always there for you, arms open and smile inviting you into his little atmosphere of warmth.
            “Hey—hey,” he hushed gently, pulling you onto his lap, rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back.
            “No—it’s just…” you weren’t quite sure how to express what you were feeling, so you settled for a soft “thank you.”
            “Of course. Always.” He responded, seeming to feel the weight you put behind those simple words.
            That was the word that echoed in your mind as you slowly drifted off to sleep in the safety of Eddie’s arms: always. Always. He would always, always, be there for you.
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I am sobbing. Sobbing. This is just beyond kind of you and ‘thank you’ doesn’t cut it but I don’t know what else to say but I need you to know that this means so much to me, and idk what I did to deserve this much kindness from you, I am so very grateful. The fact that you took the time to send me anything at all is warming as it is but this is just so beyond special and I wasn’t expecting this at all. I loved the story so much and every feeling described hits very hard right now, and just being comforted like this (by the silly man specially) is exactly what I need right now and what I’ve been thinking about to get by. Seriously, THANK YOU soo soo much. If you could see me now, I’m somewhere between smiling like an idiot and getting teary over this! I’m keeping this story very close to my heart now and I’m going to save this in my drafts as well so I can come back to this and read it again and again. Thank you so, so much, lovely. And beyond this, I’m just very happy to see you in ye old inbox again! I’ve been a little M.I.A here and bad at keeping in touch because of life, but I hope all is well in your end with work, studies, and your new puppy (I haven’t forgotten about that!)
I’m sending you the biggest hug right now and all my love to you.
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sugarybitterness · 2 years
Text
your anchor - natasha romanoff x reader
tw; implied / almost self harm, self deprecating thoughts, mentions of past bad relationships, this is (should be?) a vent fic so please proceed with caution
a/n; well.. this is messy
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it was like an itch, an itch that just couldn’t go away. sitting at your table, music blasting through your headphones, you let your thoughts run wild.
while you miss your redhead girlfriend terribly, a small, selfish part of you was thankful she wasn’t here to see this, to see you like this.
it started with a passing comment from an old friend you happened to meet at a cafe. they mentioned how your ex had been talking about you online, despite the fact that you had been seperated for years.
while you could care less for the person themself, it had led to a sudden spiral in your feelings. feelings of incompetency resurfaced, you wondered if you were doing the right thing now.
before meeting natasha, you always wondered if you were the problem. no one seemed to want to stick around in any romantic capacity, people who you thought you finally built a connection with would suddenly block you. you kept trying to tell yourself it didn’t matter, that it shouldn’t bother you, but it did.
things your ex had said, had done kept looping in your mind. you were aware that you had fucked up just as much, if not maybe more than them.
what if you did it again?
you had hurt the person you claimed to love, what if you hurt natasha too?
the itching wouldn’t stop. you eyed the penknife on your table warily, before picking it up to fiddle with it.
your thoughts travelled back to the things you knew your ex had posted before. the accusations they made against you. things that they had told others, that made its way back to you.
you would always be the villian in their story, you knew that much. you would always be the selfish one, the hurtful one, the one who made a list of mistakes.
you wondered if natasha had kept track of your mistakes that you made in the last 6 months. would she be confronting you anytime soon? maybe you did something to upset her, would she leave you too then? present the list to you and then break it off?
almost absentmindedly you began to trace the still closed penknife against your wrist. a small ridge of the side scratching the skin just right.
you were really trying, you just wanted to be better, to be enough. tears started to pool in your eyes, as your thumb pushed the blade out just a bit. your movements were robotic, blade tracing the skin slightly. not enough to draw blood but just a light scratch. you wouldn’t ever be able to hide such scars from your partner.
all of a sudden a hand was on yours, quickly yet gently pulling the blade away from your skin. you blinked quickly, before turning to see natasha standing there. your eyes widened, throat constricting while you stared at her, not knowing how to explain yourself. you barely registered natasha pulling the penknife from your hands, before moving to pause your music and gently pulling your earbuds out. your hands fell limp into your lap as you stared at her, nuzzling slightly into her hand when she brought it up to cup your face gently.
the both of you didn’t speak, your eyes fluttered close while you tried to focus on natasha’s thumb rubbing gently circles on your cheek. you felt your hand being picked up and you allowed natasha to inspect your wrist. tears pricked your eyes when she placed soft kisses over the places you had scratched, before beginning to rub it gently with her fingers.
your eyes fluttered open to see natasha already staring at you. your lips curled into a pout when you see her eyes shine with unshed tears. you lift your hands to tug at her suit, pulling her to sit on your lap adamantly, despite her soft protests of being dirty from her mission.
once she was settled atop your thighs, you hugged her close, head nuzzling into her neck. your arms were wrapped right around her waist as her arms looped around your neck, fingers playing with your hair.
you knew that you would have to talk to her eventually, but for know you allowed her mere presence to overwhelm you with a sort of serenity. the kind of peace and stability you only felt with her.
natasha would always be your biggest anchor.
a/n if only i had my own natasha. if anyone ever needs to talk or vent pls feel free to drop by in my inbox. i’m always open to lending a listening ear (i can’t say my advice is any good though so)
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foreverindreamlandd · 3 years
Note
Bucky wanted to read her fanfictions and she always declined. So he begged and begged and begged... until she finally gives up and let him read one. 'Cause who could really say no to Bucky making puppy eyes?!
Let me know what you think about it
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader
WC: 1.5k (I am apparently incapable of writing a drabble)
A/N: Thank you again for another awesome request! I was basically cackling the whole time I wrote it. Want to read about how Bucky and this reader got together? Check out their origin story in my To Be Wanted series! Only warning in this one is the usual swearin’ like a sailor.
----
“See, this is why I always order Thai food. I can never do it justice.” You frown over your wok, mixing the noodles around with a wooden spoon hoping it will somehow make your creation taste better.
“I’m sure it tastes great, doll.” Bucky walks up next to you and grabs a noodle, tilting his head back as he drops it into his mouth.
His eye twitches almost imperceptibly and you groan.
“It’s good,” he coughs out, trying with all of his strength to regain his composure. “I think you just went a little too hard on the chili paste. I can feel my sinuses clearing up though, which is good, right?”
You roll your eyes. “Can you check the recipe on Pinterest again? I swear I put in the right amount.”
Bucky walks over and picks up your iPad. Right as he’s scrolling to find out if you should have used 2 tablespoons or 2 teaspoons of chili paste, a notification banner pops up and he accidently taps it, opening up your Tumblr app.
Omg! This fic is amazing! The way Bucky is there to support the reader. My heart completely melted! Your Bucky stories are amazing, Y/n! <3
Above the comment is a photo of him. It’s a shot from the news where he’s helping a civilian stand up after one of the attacks made by The Red Hand.
“Uh….love? What’s this?” He holds the iPad up to you and you shift your gaze over to him.
You drop the wooden spoon into the wok as all of the blood drains from your face. You’re frozen in place for a millisecond before you pounce on Bucky to grab the device from him. He’s never seen you move so quickly and it catches him off guard.
“Bucky give me the iPad right now,” you fling your arms toward it and he pulls it away, both amused and a bit concerned by your reaction.
“Wait, what is this? Is it something I should be worried about?”
You see a flicker of panic flash in his eyes and you stop flailing. You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh.
“No, I mean, I should be concerned because if you read that I’m probably going to combust and you’re going to dump me and run for the hills.” He furrows his brows in confusion and you slowly lift up your hand. “Can I please have that back before I have a mild panic attack?”
He stares at you, trying to gauge your emotions. All he can see is panic and sadness and it breaks his heart so he instantly gives in and hands you the iPad.
“Don’t worry about it, love. I trust you.” He leans forward to give you a chaste kiss.
You let out a pained groan against his lips and Bucky is once again confused.
“Ughhhh I hate hiding things from you.” You lock your iPad so the screen goes dark. “Okay, fine, I guess this conversation is happening. Remember when we first started dating and I, uh, mentioned I used to read and write stories about….us being a couple?”
Bucky nods, trying not to reveal any emotion to you that might make you spiral into a panic, and you continue.
“Well, that was one of those stories I wrote. I stopped looking on Tumblr basically as soon as I met you because it got all weird and meta and I got super uncomfy by the idea of reading fanfics - that’s what they’re called - about my new friend/now boyfriend Bucky Barnes. And then we started dating and I was all happy and shit and I totally forgot that those fics were still out there. Obviously I haven’t written any since then because that would be weird for...many, many reasons. Someone must have found an old one and commented on it. I’ll delete it. I’ll delete all of them. I swear. I’m so sorry, Bucky. I should have been more on top of this.”
Bucky stares at you, lips pursed and you grimace, afraid of the next words that are about to come out of his mouth.
This is so weird, Y/n. How could you do this?
No wonder you didn’t date anyone before me.
Obsessed much? (Okay, he probably wouldn’t say it like that but STILL).
No, what Bucky said next was much, much worse than what you could have imagined.
“Can I read one?”
Your mouth drops. Closes. Drops again. You blink rapidly.
“I’m sorry, I just hallucinated. What?”
Bucky points to your iPad, a sly grin forming on his face. “I want to read one of your stories.”
You take a step back from him, horror stricken as you pull the iPad closer to you as if you were protecting your collector’s edition of ‘Throne of Glass.’
“Absolutely not.”
Bucky steps forward and you step back. He chuckles. “Come onnn, doll. I want to know what your fantasies were about me before we got together.” He laughs harder as the look of horror on your face grows more manic.
“Bucky, I know you’re a super soldier and could probably punch me into the sun with your metal arm, but I promise I will fight to the death before I let you read one of these fics.”
You and Bucky continue this dance of him stepping forward and you stepping back until you feel your legs make contact with your couch and you fall back into a sitting position on its arm. Bucky uses this opportunity to tower over you, his arms resting on the couch so that you’re pinned between them.
Then, he pulls out the big guns.
His gaze softens, blue eyes shining into yours. His bottom lip puffs out and he gives you the most adorable, sexiest pout you’ve seen in your whole life.
“Please, love?” He says it with a slightly higher pitch, almost like a whine and it still sounds like honey to your ears. He even nudges your nose with his like a freaking sociopath.
Damn.
You close your eyes, let out a breath, then open them back up to him. “I hate you.”
His pout turns into a boyish grin and he gives you a quick kiss. “You love me.”
You groan. “Hopefully you still love me after this, Buck. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
You stand and open up your iPad, scrolling through your masterlist and finding what used to be one of your favorite fluff pieces. You begrudgingly hand it to Bucky and he sits on the couch.
Unable to sit still during this agonizing experience, you proceed to pace around your apartment like a crazy person and resort to cleaning the inside of your microwave which you haven’t done in a few months so it’s a good thing that Bucky is reading your fic so that you could get that out of the way. You probably won’t have a boyfriend in a few minutes but at least your microwave will be spotless.
You only steal a few glances at Bucky as he reads, mortified each time as you see his eyebrows move in every possible direction. Up, down, knit together, were they criss-crossed at one point?
Finally, after what feels like the longest ten minutes of your life, Bucky lets out a soft grunt, placing the iPad down on his lap. He looks up to you and you give him a weak smile.
“Alright, let me have it, Buck. Give me your worst. Be honest. Also, I love you.”
Bucky glances down at the iPad and then back at you.
“Well, I have a few questions.”
Your right eye twitches. “Hm?”
“Now that you’ve met me, do you still think my eyes are an all-consuming storm of blue?” You groan. He grins. “Or do you think my jawline was cut from marble created by the gods?”
This time, you breathe out a laugh and you walk over to sit on his lap. You take hold of his chin.
“Bucky, I don’t think I could ever come up with the right words to describe you. The real thing is quite literally a million times better than anything I’ve ever written.”
His eyebrows raise. “That is...probably the best compliment I’ve ever gotten in my whole damn life.” He leans forward and kisses you, and you sigh into the feeling of his mouth on yours, relief flooding through you.
You pull away, eyes skeptical. “So, you’re not thinking about how you can escape and never see my crazy ass again?”
“On the contrary, love, I’m thinking about how I can convince you to buy this gorgeous green dress you apparently wore as my wedding date. The one that showed off your cleavage in a way that made Bucky’s brain melt.”
The two of you burst out laughing and you lightly shove his chest. “Sure thing, Bucko. How about I work on the dress situation and you work on ordering us Thai food so that we don’t lose our taste buds from whatever the hell I just made.”
-----
Thank you for reading! Feel free to check out my other stuff here. :)
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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years
Text
Of Kings and Beasts  -  Eight
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Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve
Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrust to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.
Warnings: Angst, Injuries, Fluff, 
Word Count: 3.6K
A/n: I’m alive! I know, it’s been like 4 months. I honestly didn't know how to ‘come back’ so this is it. I’ll be answering asks and messages tonight, but things are going okay. I work 54 hours a week so I’m not writing as much as I’d like to but I’m trying!!! I love you all so much, and I hope you enjoy this!
THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
Series Masterlist
The doctor lies unmoving on a medical cot, stitches across his throat to close the gouge that was meant to end his life.
“Do we have any idea who is behind this? Or why?” Steve asks quietly, eyes darting between his most trusted man and his husband.
“I do not know who is behind it, but I think they are aware that we know.” Steve’s brows pull together at his husband’s words, and he waits for him to continue.
James huffs out a deep breath, glancing around the small room as if checking for any listening ears.
“Doctor Banner found an incision on the base of my skull. Someone has performed an operation on me without my knowing. I’m assuming the Doctor found something out, and while on his way to find me he was ambushed.”
Steve’s still stuck on the fact that his husband has been tampered with.
“What do you mean someone performed an operation on you?” James shakes his head. “I’m not sure what they did, but I have reason to believe that it is why I have been so hostile towards... our wife.” He fears saying your name. He doesn’t want anything to trigger the beast.
“How long have you known this?” Steve demands, angry that James would keep something like this from him.
“Since the day she went out into the snow. I was not sure who I could trust. I still know not. But one thing is certain: someone means to kill our wife and destroy our marriage, and it is someone close to us.” Regret instantly fills the blond king and he excuses himself without another word, head swarming with thoughts that include nothing but pain and punishment.
His feet take him down the spiral staircase, his hands wrenching open the cell door and grabbing the prisoner by his collar.
“Who is it that sent you?! Tell me! Now!” The man is confused for a moment before a yellow-toothed grin splits his face.
“You will tell me now!” Steve pulls his fist back and slams it against the man’s face, but the prisoner only laughs manically.
“Who is it that intends on hurting my wife? On ruining my marriage?” The man shakes his head, blood dribbling down his chin.
“The only one who ruins your marriage and hurts your wife is you, your majesty. But from what I hear through the walls, your bloodline ends with you. The great Kings of the West will be nothing more than fairytales. Their whore wife, a forgotten name. And that will be your doing.” Steve’s vision clouds and he unleashes his fury upon the prisoner, beating him to a bloody pulp until his face is hardly visible.
The King stumbles back, chest heaving and fists covered in blood, while the man slumps to the floor, wheezing and gasping.
“Cut off one head... two more shall take its place,” is the last thing the man utters before collapsing in a pool of his own blood.
Steve stands there, furious and dumbfounded. He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize he isn’t alone anymore until a cool hand is on his shoulder, turning him around.
“What happened?” James asks, his eyes on the dead man on the floor and then on his husband’s bloody fists.
“Your assumption is correct. Someone has orchestrated this and we are being toyed with. Where’s (Y/n)?” The mention of your name has James squeezing his eyes shut as the beast bares its fangs.
“I know not. But you haven’t time for that. Thor and Anthony should be here within the hour. You need to make yourself presentable. We will tell them of our problem and see if they can offer any assistance.” Steve doesn’t want to meet with the other Kings. No, he wants to find you and get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, of which you may or may not grant, but he’s willing to beg and plead in front of his entire kingdom if he needs to.
“Come on. Let’s go get you cleaned up.” James ushers the blond out of the dungeon and to his chambers, his mind racing as he tries to piece the mystery together.
~*~
Your eyes trace over the trails etched in the book in your grasp, trying desperately to memorize them.
You’re so engaged in your reading that you don’t notice the man in front of you until you’re walking into him.
“Oh!” You stumble back, the book falling from your grasp as you lose your footing. The man is quick and grabs you around the waist to prevent you from falling.
“I am very sorry, Your Majesty. You must forgive me, for I was not paying attention to where I was walking.” The man has a deep, booming voice, his accent different than the ones you’re used to.
“It’s quite alright. I was hardly paying attention myself.” You look up at him and your eyebrows raise.
He’s an absolute Adonis of a man.
With beautifully kind blue eyes, a warm and inviting smile, and long locks of blond hair that are pulled back into a half-bun.
“It must be an interesting story that you were reading then?” He questions, hand dropping from around your waist as he stoops down to pick up your book.
“You could say that.” You’re nervous. You know not who this man is nor where his allegiance lies.
“This is a book of maps. Have you a journey planned?” He seems just genuinely curious but you’re defensive nonetheless.  
“Might I ask who you are and why you need to know?” He raises his brows then chuckles.
“I suppose we have not been introduced, although I have heard many things about you. I am King Thor, of Asgard. And you are Queen (Y/n). Born of Orlen but wed in Acadia. The Kings eagerly awaited your arrival, I must say. And you are every bit as beautiful as they said.”
You shake your head bashfully.
“May I know where your journey will take you? It will remain a secret between the two of us. You have my word.” You ponder this for a moment, but he looks so kind and so genuine, you can’t stop yourself from telling him.
“Well if you must know, I’m leaving.” He huffs a breath of surprise.
“Leaving? But for what purpose? You are a queen.”
You laugh softly at that, the tugging up of your cheeks making your cuts burn.
“A queen, yet I am treated like a prisoner. You must forgive me for speaking so plainly in your presence, but I fear that I have lost any sense of... propriety in this place. My husbands may have spoken highly of me, but that was before they met me, I suppose. Now... I am nothing more than a thorn in their sides.”
Thor shakes his head, not believing a word coming from your mouth.
“That cannot be.” You sigh heavily and tug the collar of your gown down, showing him the dark bruises around your neck.
“From his Majesty, King James. And King Steven gave me these.” You show him the bruises on your arms next.
He’s absolutely appalled.
“And I assume they are the ones responsible for these?” One of his warm fingers traces across the marks on your cheeks and you nod.
“I do not blame you for wanting to leave. You must feel stifled.” You nod, taking his outstretched arm and allowing him to lead you down the hallway.
“It... has not been an easy transition. I have not even seen my kingdom yet. I know not what it has to offer nor if it is thriving. I have not met my people or even seen my lands. This place is supposed to be home to me, but it is no more than a prison with hot water and soft sheets.”
Thor’s quiet for a long moment and you regret every speaking. Just as you’re about to tug free from his grip and lock yourself back in your chambers, he turns to you.
“We cannot simply allow you to not know what your kingdom has to offer! I am making it my duty to show you the beauties of Acadia.” Your eyebrows raise.
“But surely you’re here on business? You mustn’t have time for something as tedious as that.” He takes your hand and brings it up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your knuckles. “A chance to get to know the Queen? Show her that her Kingdom is not all bad? That is not tedious. The Kings can wait. They have Anthony. I will take you through the Kingdom and show you all that there is to see.”
~*~
Thor is true to his word and shows you every nook and cranny in the Kingdom. From the poorest parts to the wealthiest.
“This is the village orphanage. I often come to volunteer my time, however business has kept me away for far longer than I’d like to admit.” You pull your cloak tighter around yourself at the biting chill of the wind, a frown on your face as you look at the run-down building.
“Do the kings not know the ruins of their Kingdom? Surely something can be done to fix this building. The children must be freezing.” You’re reminded of your own experience in the cold confines of the north tower in Orlen. The small chamber you were locked in whenever your adoptive mother did not want to see you.
“The Kings often busy themselves with their work. They are conquerors. They have not the time for such trivial tasks. It would be the duty of a queen to fix the Kingdom, here at least. They are my friends, and they are good at taking, however it seems they know little of giving back.” You nod at this, knowing firsthand how much they can take and not give back.
“I wish I had known that the kingdom was in such ruins. I would have made it my priority.” He looks at you for a long moment, wondering what on Earth could cause the Kings to treat you so poorly.
“If you would like, I can help you to arrange some repairs? Perhaps we can make it your project? Have you in charge of it. It could be your first official duty as Queen.” You smile but shake your head sadly, turning away from the orphanage and back towards your horses.
“I doubt the Kings would approve of something like that. I’m sure I will have their wrath to face for having kept you from your business for so long. I fear what they will do to me, if I am quite honest with you. Steven was lovely before but... he has... I know not how to explain it.” Thor comes up behind you and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.
“I will ensure that they do not bring any more harm to you, Petal. You have endured far more than should be expected of you. You have little to gain, and yet you remain here for them.” You shrug, walking with him to your horses.
“My situation were I to leave would not be very different. I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. I am alone both in the Kingdom and outside of it.” Thor hates the truth behind your words.
“Come, let’s get you back to the Palace before you catch your death.” He helps you up onto the horse then gets on his, mind full of everything you’ve told him and all that he needs to discuss with the Kings.
~*~
He walks you to your chambers, having told Wanda to draw a warm bath for you. As he reaches the wooden door, he pauses and smiles warmly at you.
“I very much enjoyed our time today, Your Majesty. I hope to spend more time with you during my stay. But unfortunately, I must go.”
As he’s turning to leave, a voice calls your name. The way you stiffen has Thor grinding his teeth together in frustration.
“Your Majesty,” you greet, bowing your head to your husband while your hand inches to your door.
“May I speak with you? Please?” You open your mouth to reply but Thor cuts you off.
“Actually, Steven, I believe you and I have matters of our own.” And just like that, The booming blond ushers your husband down the hallway. Steve’s blue eyes stay on you, his head turned to look over his shoulder as much as he can until they round the corner and render you out of sight.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and enter your bedroom, smiling tightly at Wanda as she helps you into your bath.
~*~
“You were with (Y/n) all day?” Thor shrugs, “would it matter if I was? It seems that I am the only friend she has.” Steve grinds his teeth together but huffs a breath out through his nose.
“I understand that I have been unfair, but all I want is to make things better between the two of us.”
Thor shakes his head, thick arms crossed over his broad chest as he looks between the two kings. “That can wait. What is it that you needed to discuss with me so urgently?”
Steve sighs and looks over at James as if trying to figure out where to begin.
“We believe that someone is trying to sabotage our marriage to break us apart and overthrow our rule. And it must be someone close to us. James has been... tampered with. And I was made to question the loyalties of my own wife. My anger and haste for answers have... brought forth a beast I had hoped to keep hidden from her. And I fear I have played my part in the sabotage of my marriage.” Thor thinks about how helpless you sounded, how absolutely broken down you seemed and can’t help but agree with Steve’s words.
“If someone is plotting to overthrow your rule, they must be close. Close enough to know of any decisions being made. It would be wise to deceive them.” James furrows his brows in confusion. “Make it seem as if they are winning. Send away your wife and tell no one the truth.”
Steve’s shocked at the suggestion.
“Send her away? To where? And with whom? We cannot very well abandon her when people mean to kill her!” Thor purses his lips for a moment before smiling.
“She won’t be alone.”
The other two Kings stare at him as if he’s grown a second head.
“You mean to stay with her? And protect her?”
“Your wife is a spitfire, that much I can tell. She may come across as a woman of few words, but she has a raging soul that cannot be so easily tamed. She wishes to leave you, plans to.”
James’ shoulders cave and Steve’s face crumbles.
“She told you this?” The brunet asks, voice hoarse and weak.
“Not in so many words, but the desire is there. She is unhappy. If she would agree, I would take her to Asgard to be a wife of my own, however, her heart is loyal to Acadia.” The two kings each glare at the big blond man, angry at the very thought of someone taking their wife from them.
Thor continues, unbothered by their anger.
“Which is why she should be sent away. I have a cottage at the border of Asgard and Acadia. My men will be around and you can send men of your own. I will stay with her until she is comfortable and then I will take my leave, but for her safety and her sanity, she must leave the Palace.”
The silence in the room hangs heavily over all three men for a long while before Steve nods.
“Very well. If it is truly in her best interests, then fine. But I will not shun her without giving her a proper explanation.” Thor bows his head as Steve rushes past him, heading towards your chambers.
He knocks once then slowly pushes the door open, desperate to see you and grovel at your feet.
You’re seated on your bed, a book in hand and a shocked expression on your face.
“Your Majesty,” you greet softly, bowing your head.
“No, (Y/n) none of that. I was... out of line. I will never be able to apologize enough for everything I have done to you.” You say nothing but your heart hurts at the fact that Thor clearly told him something.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty,” you say stiffly, moving your gaze back down to the book in your lap.
He sits on the edge of your bed, his eyes on the scratches decorating your delicate face.
“We have been unkind and unfair to you, my darling. I hope that one day you will forgive us, but until then, there is something we must discuss.” You have no idea where this conversation could be going, and that thought alone scares you.
“You will be leaving tonight.”
Your face must display the confusion and fear you feel at his words because he’s quick to clarify.
“Joining Thor and staying in a cottage where our kingdoms border. There are people here, people close to myself and James that wish to do you harm.” He takes your hand gently between both of his and presses a soft kiss to your fingers.
“It pains me to do it, but I know you need it as well. You’ve been deprived here. No friends and no family. We’ve treated you terribly and not as Queen should be treated." You keep your eyes cast down towards your lap, unable to bear seeing the King so distraught in front of you.
He sniffles and places another kiss to the back of your hand.
“I hope that you will return soon, but if you must take time then I understand. When you do decide you are ready to return, we will both be waiting with open arms.” He pauses for another moment before speaking again, his voice softer than before.
“I had hoped that James would join me but he... he is not well. But he misses you dearly, of that I am certain. The days will darken with your departure.” He presses another kiss to your knuckles then slowly rises to his feet.
“No one is to know the true reason for your departure. You mustn't tell anyone, for I fear you will not be safe if you do. Can you promise me that?” He asks, his eyes full of desperation and sorrow.
“Yes, your majesty.” His heart cracks at the fact that you’re still not addressing him by his name, but he realizes it will take time for the bond to be rebuilt between the two of you.
“Wanda will pack your things then you will be met by Thor and he will take you somewhere safe.” He cups your cheek gently, sniffling and trying to fight tears.
“I am so very sorry that your own home is a place that causes you pain.” With that, he turns on his heel and exits your chambers without so much as another glance, the pain he’s feeling evident in the tightness of his shoulders and the stiffness of his walk.
It’s not five minutes later when Thor is at the door to your chambers, sliding a thick wool cloak over your shoulders and pulling the hood up to cover your face.
“Just a precaution, Your Majesty. And the wind has a bit of a bite to it. But a carriage is waiting.” You nod your understanding and follow him silently out of the palace that has been no more than a prison to you.
Steve and James watch from separate windows as you climb into the carriage, not sparing a single glance back at the palace. But they cannot find it in themselves to blame you. What you have been forced to endure is far worse than anyone should have to. Especially someone as delicate as yourself.
A dark cloud falls over the kingdom as their queen is whisked away, brought to a safe haven that their kings couldn’t provide, by a man who is not even a member of their kingdom.
~*~
The journey to Thor’s cottage is a fairly quiet one, far too many thoughts racing in your mind and feelings in your heart.
“You are unhappy to be leaving the Palace?” Thor asks, confusion evident in his voice. You sigh heavily and shake your head, turning to look at him.
“It is a relief to be able to speak freely, however, I cannot help the guilt that I feel. It is my duty to do what the require of me, regardless of whether or not I enjoy it.” Thor shakes his head, a frown on his handsome face.
“No human should ever have to endure that. Regardless of their duties. You will not be shunned by the kings and even if you were, I’m sure Orlen would accept you back with open arms.”
You chuckle once, the sound dull and lacking humour.
“Orlen could not care any less about me if they tried. I’m not a princess to them. Merely the bastard of a King. One who was convenient to use in a trade agreement. My father would have me beheaded if he knew I was running from the kings.”
Thor is rendered speechless by this new information, his heart heavy for you, the delicate princess who deserves a far better fate than the one gifted to her.
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ickle-ronniekins · 3 years
Text
forever, i choose you
desc: he’s always been everyone’s second choice, in every aspect of his life. george weasley just wants to be someone’s first.
word count: 3.9k
pairing: george weasley x muggle!reader
warning(s): idk you might cry, i sure did but what else is new. loneliness/discussion of sexual content/idk
A/N: i still have no motivation to write and/or read. and it’s the absolute worst. but i wrote the bulk of this story back in december/the beginning of january, and i figured maybe i’d try and write the ending and publish it and see if it’ll spark any inspiration in me. i’m real, real, real sorry if i haven’t gotten to your fics to read (i’ve got them all saved!) i just don’t know what’s wrong with me atm and it’s THE WORST. also it might evoke more emotion if you listen to this while reading this lil fic. thank you, to all of you, for your support and patience, always.
disclaimer: i do not give consent for my work to be posted on ANY other platform.
Seven-year-old George Weasley watched with wide eyes and a goofy grin as his father twirled his mother in the family space of their normally bustling and loud home. But tonight, the Burrow was quiet. Everyone was already sound asleep, his five brothers and his younger sister. George should be too, but he just couldn’t fall asleep no matter how much he tried. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his sheets and kept groaning, and it wasn’t long before his twin brother Fred threw a few pillows at his face, and eventually, George decided to get up and go for a stroll.
He hid strategically on the staircase so his parents wouldn’t see that he was still wide awake at nearly midnight, and he watched as they swayed lightly to the music emitting from somewhere in the house. It was light as a feather, the music, a small piano tune that echoed through the lower level, its sounds traveling effortlessly up the stairs of the home. Mr. Weasley dipped his wife and Mrs. Weasley giggled like some of the young girls George had seen in the village, kind of a nervous giggle, and he watched her blush. He saw his mother placed her head gently on Mr. Weasley’s chest and they both closed their eyes, and George wondered if they were happy to have a moment of peace without their seven children running around causing mayhem.
He wondered if they danced like this every evening, after everyone had already gone to bed.
George noticed a weird sort of feeling in his chest; he wondered why his heart was hurting. Was it because there was something wrong? But then he realized that wasn’t the case, for the aching in his heart came from his pure desire to find exactly what his mum and dad had -- a love like none other, with seven children, a home with multiple stories, and more treacle tarts than one needs.
He vowed in that moment, as he watched his parents from the staircase and tapped his foot quietly in rhythm with the music, that he’d find love like that one day.
He wanted someone to choose him first, just like his parents chose one another.
He brought his hand to his chest, as if to calm his rapidly beating heart, for the sheer idea of finding a love like theirs filled him with such excitement that he was certain he wouldn’t be able to sleep now. Seven-year-old George Weasley laid in bed, ignoring the soft snores from his twin across the room, his eyes wide with wonder as he dreamt of the woman he’d dance with one day.
Twelve-year-old George Weasley wasn’t ready to date. He was only twelve years old! He much preferred to dream.
He knew when he looked at the girl across from him that she wasn’t the one, lovely as she was. He adjusted his Gryffindor tie and cleared his throat and focused on the Potions assignment in front of him. It wasn’t exactly a date, was it? He was in a Potions lesson with his classmates, and Snape. But when the cute blackhaired Hufflepuff approached him and asked if he’d like to work together on the next of Snape’s ridiculous concoctions, Fred poked his brother in the ribs and winked, as if to say, If you don’t partner up with her, you’re a right prat.
And so George did what he thought was gentlemanly and he said yes. He could tell by the rose pink colour that flooded her cheeks that she was smitten with him, and that she’d asked him to be her partner because she was smitten. And he had to admit, she really was quite cute and very, very kind.. and rather smart for her age as well. And he knew that she’d make some man very, very happy someday. It just wouldn’t be him.
He did what was asked of him. He measured out the correct amount of powdered Griffin claw. He made sure he and his partner had enough salamander blood for their strengthening solution. And he smiled back at his partner, though his heart and his mind were still with the girl he’d dance with one day.
The Hufflepuff tried her hardest to capture his heart, but it belonged to someone he had yet to meet.
She wasn’t the one that felt like home.
-- -
Sixteen-year-old George Weasley didn’t understand why all of his classmates wanted to snog people and move onto someone else without so much as a blink.
So many people were pairing off and lasting less than a week before moving onto someone new. George rattled his brain for answers, he searched the eyes of his classmates for explanations, but he couldn’t understand why people would want to hop from one person to another. Didn’t they want to find love, a love that’s long lasting and pushes boundaries and moves mountains and weathers the storms it meets?
But perhaps, he worried, maybe that’s where he was going wrong.
Maybe, in order to find what he truly yearned for, he needed to be reckless and love without really loving.
Maybe he needed to search less, in order to find her.
And so he decided, with much persuasion from Fred, that he’d ask that pretty brunette Ravenclaw to the Yule Ball, and he’d dance and drink firewhisky and maybe he’d even kiss her, if the courage he tried to summon stayed with him throughout the night.
And maybe if he did all those things, he’d forget about the one his heart desperately craved.
And for a little while, he really did forget. Perhaps he could get on board with this “love the one you’re with” mentality. Maybe he could just be in the moment without worrying about everyone else. Maybe he could kiss girls without feeling anything, maybe he could date casually, maybe he could be like everyone else his age and not think about weddings and marriage and having children.
“Georgieee,” the Ravenclaw slurred on the dance floor. She tugged on his tie and pulled him close. He could smell the firewhisky on her breath and his heart began to pound when she pressed her lips lightly to his cheek. “Dance with meeee.”
No, this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted more than this. He’d always wanted more than this.
George begrudgingly agreed and caught Fred’s eye from across the dance floor. The elder twin threaded his brows together and pushed the air with his hands, as if encouraging his younger brother to go for it. The Ravenclaw dazedly draped her arms across George’s shoulders and he sheepishly looked down toward his feet, but didn’t wrap his arms around her.
“George Weasleeeeyyyy,” she slurred again, hiccoughing in between giggles, “I said dance with meeeeeee.”
He tried to fight it, tried not to think of what he always did, but he couldn’t help it.
This girl was not the one. He could tell, because there was no love in the way she said his name. There was no true feeling in the surplus of kisses she kept pressing to his jawline, and there was no warmth radiating from her -- not the kind that mattered, anyway.
He knew, as he placed his hands gently on her waist and swayed with her to the music, that this was not what love felt like. This is not what home felt like.
He danced anyway, even though it was not the kind of dancing he’d seen his parents do all those years ago, and he allowed himself to think about what the rest of his classmates weren’t -- the person he’d hold in his arms, who’d be the mother to his children, who’s kisses would send him spiraling, who’s embraces would become all too familiar in a way that would comfort him in the darkest of times.
He allowed himself again, to dream of true love.
-- -
Seventeen-year-old George Weasley was sick and tired of waiting for the one.
It sounded kind of dramatic in his own head, seeing as he was only seventeen, but he’d known now for ten years exactly what he was looking for, and ten years seemed like a lifetime.
It didn’t help that nearly all of his friends had gotten over their casual dating scene and were now all enthralled with their significant others. He felt so painfully lonely, though he’d never admit it to a soul. He could hardly admit it to himself.
One evening, he shot up from the couch and out of the common room in a fit of fury, for if he had to see Fred and Angelina snogging in the corner for one more minute, he was quite certain he was going to explode from disgust. He was happy for his brother, of course he was, but he didn’t need to see it. Not as often as that.
He found Ron sitting in the Great Hall with Ginny, Harry, and Hermione and plopped beside them all before engaging in exciting rounds of exploding snap. But as the night grew darker and he grew more tired, George noticed the undeniable chemistry between his sister and Harry and his brother and Hermione. Though they all hadn’t admitted to one another how they felt, George had found it obvious, and he politely excused himself before he tugged his jacket rather angrily around his shoulders before he walked out into the winter storm, just to feel the cold air numb his skin.
He walked out of the castle, over toward the owlery, through the treacherous amounts of snow. Anything to distract George from everyone who’d apparently been hit by Cupid’s bloody arrow.
Ever since he was born, it had always been Fred and George. What about George and Fred? Was it because Fred was older? And why were people always lumping them together? Just because they’re twins? George loathed that. They were individuals too. He was always second, in everything.
In getting hand-me-downs from his older brothers. In being referred to with his twin. In lessons when the professors would call out their names for attendance, because F came before G in the alphabet. And even when it came to love; all the girls always seemed to flock to Fred instead, because he was more exciting. More boisterous. Less shy.
The cold, winter air bit violently at his exposed skin, and he reckoned it hurt less than watching everyone around him find someone that chose them, all while he was still waiting for the right person to choose him.
George Weasley didn’t want to be someone’s second choice.
He wanted to be someone’s first.
-- -
Twenty-year-old George Weasley didn’t know how exactly he ended up here.
He didn’t know how he ended up in a relationship three years deep, without having said “I love you” once and actually meaning it.
George thought he might’ve found her, his person, during his seventh year. She was beautiful and kind and everything he thought he’d hoped and dreamt of. Her soft touch, her yearning eyes, the way she curled up next to him in the dormitories late at night and held onto him as she slept -- it was everything, and it seemed to be perfect.
He thought that maybe, perhaps, she was it. But even so, he found himself waiting, still, for that feeling… the one on the staircase he’d felt so long ago.
But the pain of realizing that she wasn’t who he’d been searching for was more heartbreaking than the pain of him asking her to leave.
He’d been looking at her through rose coloured lenses and had been ignoring the truth that was right in front of him.
He should’ve left years ago, when that Gryffindor girl began to make backhanded jokes about the shop, and his dreams of becoming a business entrepreneur, claiming that she was only joking around.
He should’ve left when that girl showed up late to the grand opening of their shop, nearly a year into their relationship.
He should’ve left when he held her in his arms, and still didn’t feel comfortable beside her.
His heart ached for it, what he’d felt on the staircase at the mere age of seven. And perhaps he’d become so desperate for it, that he took something disguised as true love.
But the truth was that he knew, deep in his soul, that this Gryffindor girl wasn’t the one. He’d just chosen, outright, to ignore it. Perhaps if he could forget that idea that “the one” would smack him square in the face with an overwhelming sensation of knowing, he could have learned to love her, even when he hadn’t had that smack in the face moment when he’d met her all those years ago.
But it hadn’t happened, had it? He hadn’t grown to love her. Not truly, anyway. And she hadn’t grown to love him. Not in the way he wanted to be loved, at least.
Because it was more than just heated kisses and lazy days in bed and all things physical that he wanted.
It was about love. Pure, blinding, unadulterated love.
He stood frozen solid in the middle of his tiny flat and watched as that Gryffindor girl grabbed her coat off of the hanger and raised her hand slightly before slipping silently into the dimly lit hallway for the very last time. And George poured himself a glass of bourbon and sat near the window, looking up at the stars, expecting to feel sad at her departure, but in fact, he didn’t feel sad at all.
He felt hopeful.
He hadn’t found the one yet, but he knew she was out there, getting to him as fast as she possibly could.
Though his brothers had urged him to come to the pub and meet someone else, George didn’t fancy the idea of doing that. He was over that entire scene, just as he was in school when everyone was pairing off and moving on immediately. He didn’t want something fleeting, and he didn’t want something meaningless.
He wanted something true.
-- -
Twenty-three-year old George Weasley was certain that he was never going to find that feeling ever again, for as long as he lived.
While all of his friends were out at the pubs, meeting people and fooling around as if feelings weren’t involved, George was walking aimlessly through the streets to work. He was constantly dealing with the haze above his head, waiting for it to lift. He was turning down girls left and right and ignoring his brothers’ insistence on dating casually again.
He didn’t want to waste any more of his time on people who weren’t going to reach out and trace circles onto his chest in the middle of the night, or who weren’t going to dance around the kitchen in his clothes while cooking dinner, or who weren’t going to look at him with eyes so tender, it would render him useless for days to come.
He’d been waiting sixteen years to find his person, the one who would choose him everyday over everyone else, and in hindsight it didn’t quite seem like a long time. But as he cried silently to himself every few nights in bed, feeling the empty space next to him and yearning for the one who was meant to be there, sixteen years felt like a lifetime.
He thought for a long while, that maybe she was in another country, or maybe she was an auror or something, fighting her way through the monsters of the wizarding world.
He’d thought for a bit that perhaps he just hadn’t met her yet.
But as the days dragged on and he found himself lost in crowds, searching face after face, looking for hers, he truly felt as though all hope was lost.
And so George paced back and forth in the kitchen of his flat, biting at his nails and pouring himself hefty glasses of wine, keen on ignoring everyone’s attempts at getting him to come out.
Maybe this was what he deserved.
Maybe because he wasn’t out there, sleeping with people whose names he wouldn’t remember come morning like everyone else, he was just going to be alone.
Maybe there really wasn’t someone out there for him. Maybe not everyone finds true love. Maybe his parents had just gotten lucky.
The dull ache in George’s heart grew stronger, and for the upteenth night in a row, he laid in bed and gripped the covers and cried himself to sleep, his tears sliding down his cheeks the same way the evening rain slid down the window terrace.
-- -
Twenty-four-year old George Weasley stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he felt it.
That feeling. The one from the staircase as he watched his parents dance, all those years ago.
Heart pounding, chest rising, hands freezing.
It hit him square in the chest without warning, nearly knocking him over though his feet were rooted into the ground at the spot, smack dab in the middle of that cafe in the middle of London.
Someone was playing a slow, soft piano tune coming from the other end. People were filtering in and out, asking the man in front of them what exactly he was staring at and why he wasn’t moving. But George Weasley stood where he was, not taking his eyes off of you.
You were reading furiously, flipping through pages of a book gripped tightly in your hands, as though you couldn’t devour the plot fast enough. George watched with admiration as a gentle smile tugged at your lips, as your eyes scanned the words quickly, as you tapped your foot on the ground, in rhythm with that slow piano.
He watched with dazed eyes and parted lips as you finished the end of your book. You dabbed your eyes with a tissue and clutched the book tightly to your chest, overwhelmed, clearly, by the end of the plot. George’s heart soared so high at your passion that he found himself struggling to hold back the I love you that was pressing behind his lips.
You immediately took a long sip of your tea and placed your finished book back into your bag, only to pull out another and immediately immerse yourself in the next story. George laughed to himself, stunned that you were so intent on falling into someone else’s storyline, if only for a little while, that you hadn’t dared take a break from one book to the next. You merely jumped right in.
He wondered if his overwhelming feelings called out to you like a signal of sorts, because just as he was working up the courage to walk over to you, you looked up. You searched the room for a moment before meeting his gaze and suddenly, the world around you both stopped.
George found himself wanting to know everything about you. He itched to devour up any and all information you’d be so kind to provide to him -- your name, your favorite color, your birthday. He wanted to know what book you’d just been reading, and what about it had moved you so much to the point of tears. He wanted to know everything, but deep in his soul, he also knew that he’d have years to learn it all.
In fact, he’d have the rest of forever.
Your eyes went soft and George began to feel the steady pounding of his heart increase, and to his amazement, he noticed a gentle smile tug at the edges of your lips.
And he smiled back.
He’d been right all along. That feeling of finding the one would smack him square in the face. He wondered, as he peered at you now, biting down on your bottom lip and looking toward the ground, why he’d ever doubted himself in the first place. And he wondered when you looked back up at him once again and raised a hand to say hello, if you’d been smacked in the face with that feeling too, just like he had.
He resisted the urge to pour his heart out to you, right here and right now. He’d have time.
Perhaps today was just about having today, and recognizing that you were everything he’d been looking for since that evening on the staircase.
He’d tell you this one day.
-- -
“And what does… Lumox mean again?”
George laughed and squeezed your hands. “You mean, Lumos?”
You bit your lip in embarrassment and laughed, too. “Yes! Lumos. That’s the one that produces light, right?”
George brought your hands to his lips and kissed them gently. You two were seated inside a bustling restaurant in Diagon Alley, and he wondered if people passing by realized just how cozy you two looked together. “You’re more brilliant than most witches I know.”
You cocked your head to the side with an air of confidence and batted your eyelashes at him. “What can I say, Georgie? I may have been born a… Mugglie… but maybe I was meant to be a witch.”
George had to bite down on his lip to keep from laughing. He couldn’t get over how painfully adorable you were as you attempted to pronounce these wizarding words and learn spells and charms and things as he taught you all things about the wizarding world. You took his wand and pointed it at your wine glass, pretending to transfigure it. You couldn’t, of course, since you weren’t a magical being. But George didn’t mind. He could watch you pretend all day long.
In all his years of studying magic, he’d never felt anything quite like this.
BONUS, just because i hate feeling sad asf:
Thirty-two-year old George Weasley rocked his redheaded daughter back and forth in his arms, until he was certain that she was sound asleep again -- her mouth open wide as she began to snore softly when he placed her back into her crib.
He peered up at the clock on the wall and blinked a few times before 4:32 a.m. came into focus. Exhausted, he made his way back into his room before sliding into bed.
And there it was again. That feeling.
You turned over in bed to face him, squinting in the darkness as your eyes adjusted to the scene unfolding before you. Groggily, you reached out and traced your fingers across his jawline. His heart nearly stopped. “Is she alright?” you asked sleepily.
George grinned softly and leant forward before pressing a kiss to your forehead. He whispered, “She’s alright. Go back to sleep.”
Though your eyes were already shut, you reached out again and took his hand in yours before bringing your lips gently to his fingers. “Okay.. I love you.. G’night..”
But you were asleep again before George could respond, so instead he pulled you closely to him and began to gently trace circles on your bare shoulders. He breathed in the smell of your shampoo, and listened intently for the beating of your heart that had fallen into sync with his.
Tears pushed at the edges of his eyes, but he slowed his breathing and reminded himself, again, that there was no longer an empty space beside him in bed.
Maybe he shouldn’t have ever given up hope, but perhaps giving up hope was what made finding you so much sweeter.
If only he could tell seven-year-old George what he’d find when the time was right.
And in the darkness, as the rain pattered on the rooftop of his house and he felt your embrace tighten around his body, he whispered into the silence, “I love you, too.”
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viking-raider · 3 years
Text
Hoist the Colours - Part I
Summary: Your father is given a governorship of a Caribbean island and you accompany him on the voyage, a new start, for the both of you. But, it doesn’t go as either of you planned, or well.
Pairing: Henry Cavill/Reader
Word Count: 8,841
Warning: Pirate!Henry, Fluff, Angst, Mention of death, Violence, Language, Kidnapping, Ransom
Inspiration: It’s Henry and Pirates! I got the idea after watching Pirates of the Caribbean one day!
Author’s Note: I wanted to post something new to treat the fandom. As always, thank you to the lovely @wondersofdreaming​ for helping me along with my stories.
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The room creaked and groaned, swaying back and forth at a quick and nauseating pace, the booms and cracks coming from outside the door were muffled by the thick wood. He pushed you into the corner, panting, sweating and bleeding heavily.
“Henry.” You whimpered, trembling with fright and adrenaline.
“Sshh, it's all right.” He wheezed, breathing labored and sat down on the bed that was in the corner. “Here, look at me, my love.” He said, forcing a smile as he cupped your cheek in his shaking hand, leaving a bloody print with it. “We'll be all right, my sweet. The men are strong and capable, they'll rid the ship of these mongrels.”
“It doesn't seem like it.” You fretted, biting your lip and glancing at the barred door as something very heavy struck it.
Henry chuckled and kissed the corner of your mouth, you could taste the blood from the split on his bottom lip. “We've encountered worse on these seas, I assure you.” He groaned softly. “But, I must tell you, of all the treasures and gold I have plundered in my lifetime as a Pirate, you are the greatest of them all.”
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3rd August 1686
It was a sunny morning in London, the sea air sweeping over the city, keeping it cool as Londoners and it's other residents went about their daily business. You stood on the balcony of your parents' home, taking deep breaths of the sea air and could hear your maid bustling about your room, packing your things for the voyage you and your father would be taking the next day. Your father, Thomas, had been appointed Governor of the newly colonized Lockemirth Island in the Caribbean, and you were to accompany him, with no other prospects for staying in London, and after the death of your mother the year before, he felt the both of you needed a fresh start in the world, and the governorship was that opportunity.
“Miss?” Your maid called, appearing in the balcony doorway.
You turned towards her, lifting a brow. “Yes, Jane?”
“Everything you've asked me to pack has been so.” She informed you, bundling the sides of her skirts and bowing softly to you.
“Thank you, Jane.” You smiled softly at her, saddened that you would be leaving the place that had been home all your life, away from your friends and all the seasonal events that kept London busy.
You doubted there would be such high society events like London's, on a teeny island in the Caribbean, expecting and loathing the boredom and loneliness that would no doubt fill your days there. Sighing and softly closing your eyes for a moment, you stepped back into the house as sweaty movers appeared in your room to collect the crates of the things you would be taking with you on the voyage, and taking them downstairs to the foyer, to later be moved to the storage haul of the HMS Kilmartin.
“Ma'am.” One of the movers tipped the brim of his sweat stained and worn flat hat, as he and the other mover muscled the heavy wooden crate out the double doors of your room.
“Sir.” You nodded your head politely to him, then they were gone, grunting and groaning down the spiral staircase. “I shall miss this place, Jane.” You sighed, sitting down on the edge of your bed and stared out the window. “I heard the island region is prone to hurricanes, that kick up tremendous winds and rain, capable of flattening everything in its wake.”
“Gracious.” Jane gasped, sweeping the dry packing straw that had fallen to the floor, while things were being packed into the crates. “Sounds frightening.”
“It does.” You agreed with her, a knot of fear in your stomach at the thought of being caught in such a storm.
What would you and your father do, if such a storm hit the island whilst you were there? Even worse, what if one happened, while you were still sailing to the island? It would undoubtedly cause the ship to sink, taking you, your father and everyone aboard down with it!
“And the pirates, Miss.” Jane added, after a moment of silence.
“No pirate is stupid enough to attack a ship of His Royal Highness, King James II.” You huffed, rolling your eyes at her. “It would be a grave mistake on their part, the King doesn't suffer pirates, nor does my father for that matter. It's part of the reason he was appointed Governor of the island, to prevent pirates from getting their greedy and filthy hands on it.”
“Like they did with Nassau.”
“Of course.” Jane nodded, shyly.
You sighed again, but deep down you were concerned about the pirates, your father had mentioned only the night before that one of the royal ships had been attacked and boarded by pirates on their way to Port Royal. They had taken most of the cargo and killed several of the crew members, before finally returning to their own ship and vanishing on the horizon. You tried to soothe your own fears by repeating the same you told Jane inside your mind, that no pirate would attack a royal ship. But, it barely eased that fear and anxiety.
If anything, it made it worse.
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The next day, Jane woke you earlier than usual and helped you dress, before you went downstairs for one more breakfast in the house. Your father was already sitting at the table, a steaming cup in front of him and the daily newspaper in his hand. He set it down as you entered the room, standing to greet you with a smile and gently kiss your cheek, before you took your seat at the table and Jane laid out your breakfast before you.
“Thank you.” You smiled at her, picking up a fork.
“Are you ready for our voyage, my dear?” Your father asked, sipping his tea and regarding you over its rim.
“As I can be, father.” You replied, picking up your own cup of tea. “How long will it take?”
“With good weather and wind, hopefully no longer than seven weeks.” He informed you, setting his cup down on its little saucer. “With terrible weather, it could be as long as three months.”
“Let's hope it is the former, instead of the latter, then, shall we?” You smiled over at him, nervously.
“Don't worry about the journey, my sweet petal.” He said, smiling at you in a way parents did, when they were trying to be reassuring, while also hiding their own fears and worry.
“All will be well.”
You didn't argue with him.
Besides, your father had far more sailing experience than you did. He had once been a member of His Royal Majesty's, King Charles I's Royal Navy, reaching the rank of Captain, before meeting your mother, retiring and trying his hand in politics, quite successfully, at that. You on the other hand, had never been on a boat, unless you counted the little rowboat James Turner took you in to cross a small river to a picnic spot he had set up for you, during last year's social season, with Jane as chaperon. You had wondered then, as he half struggled to row the vessel, why you were doing so, when there was a small, and perfectly useful, foot bridge not ten meters away from the small dock he had pushed off from.
But, just like now, you didn't argue or question it, he wanted to be romantic, and your father was trying to be protective and reassuring.
Your father took his pocket watch out, the highly polished gold cover popping open, its soft ticks reached you as he frowned down at it, then snapped it shut again and tucked it back into his pocket. Heaving a sigh, he downed the rest of his cooled tea, neatly folded his half read newspaper and rested back against his chair, quietly regarding you across the table, while you finished your breakfast.
“Edward, have the carriage readied, we must leave in no more than twenty minutes.” He called out to his servant, before rising to his feet.
He bowed politely to you and left the room, you knew where he was going, to your mother's rooms. Your father had shut up her rooms the day of her funeral, not wanting a single item inside to be disturbed out of the places she had put them in. She had been sick for some time, but in the last month of her life, she had gotten far worse. Your father employed every respectable doctor London had, even the physician the King himself used. But, all of them had a different diagnosis and treatment for what supposedly ailed her, and none of them worked, most of them only made her worse. So, she wasted away until there was nothing left of her, but skin and bones, and she passed away. Your father was understandably distraught and brokenhearted by her death, only mechanically doing his obligations, always standing, motionless, in her dark and tomb-like rooms, as if he stood there long enough, time would rewind and bring her back to him.
There was no doubt in your mind, that's where he was going, to say one last good-bye to her, before you both set sail for Lockemirth, for what would likely be several years, if not forever. You had already sneaked into her room, during the night, taking a ruby necklace that she loved to wear, as a token to remember her by and to feel as if, in a way, she was accompanying you both on the journey.
“Are you ready, my dear?” His voice asked as he descended the staircase to join you in the foyer, lifting a graying brow at you.
“As I can be, Father.” You replied, stomach clenching inside your corset.
He smiled at you, fingertips gently brushing your cheek, while Edward opened the front doors. “Into a brave new world, my loving daughter.” He said, looping his arm with yours and escorted you out into the rising morning sun, the family carriage already waiting for you both, door open and horses patiently standing at attention.
Your father helped you inside the carriage, then followed after you, rapping his knuckles on the door to signal the driver to move forward. Both of you watched as the beloved house slowly disappeared from view, soon falling away to the wharves of London harbor. The sea air was even stronger on the wharves, mixed with the strong scents of seaweed, fish, the unwashed bodies of sailors long at sea and hot tar. The HMS Kilmartin was easy enough to spot on the wharves, its masts standing tall amongst the others, rocking in the gentle swell of the waves coming off the ocean, it glittered in the rays of the new day, showing off its blue, white and gold paint job, it was immaculate. It gave you a great measure of relief to see it, it seemed infinitely more steady and reliable than the other ships in the harbor.
“Shall we find out if you have sea legs like your dear father?” He teased you, as you approached the gangplank leading up onto the deck.
You tried to give him an amused smile, before following him up the swaying plank, but you weren't truly amused at the prospect of finding out if you were prone to seasickness or not. You dearly hoped you wouldn't be though, all you needed was this voyage to be even longer and more miserable then it already would be without you losing your stomach with every movement of the ship.
Stepping onto the deck, you clutched your father's arm tighter and planted your feet against the unaccustomed sway. Your father chuckled and helped you steady yourself, standing there for several long minutes to allow you to acclimate, then started forward again, slowly, baby step by baby step. A pair of doors swung open and a man appeared out of them, dressed completely in Royal Navy attire, giving away his station as the Captain of the ship.
“Sir Thomas.” The Captain smiled at your father, striding over to you both with the confidence of a man walking on land, instead of on the swaying deck of a ship. “This must be your lovely daughter.” He smiled at you next, sweeping off his hat and bowing to you.
“Indeed, sir.” Your father smiled, looking at you with all and more pride. “My dear, this is Captain Davis.”
“My lady.” Captain Davis greeted you, taking your offered hand and kissing it. “It is a pleasure to have you aboard my ship.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Captain Davis.” You replied, feeling a warmth creep into your cheeks.
Captain Davis's smile broadened at your words, before letting your hand go and looking back to your father. “We have your cabins ready for you, sir. The things you've asked to be taken into them are already there, awaiting you both.” He explained to your father.
“So, shall I show you to your cabins?”
“Please, lead the way, Captain.” Your father nodded and gripped your hand tighter, following Davis into a dim passageway and down a small set of stairs, to the second level of the ship.
“Sir Thomas, your cabin is here.” Captain Davis said, leading the way down a narrow hallway and motioned to a door on the left. “My lady, your cabin is just through there.” He pointed to a door across from your father's. “I do hope the both of you find comfort in them. If you are in need of anything, please inform myself or my Chief Mate, Mr. Gray.” He instructed the both of you.
You and your father thanked him and entered your respective cabins. Your cabin was narrow in length and just wide enough that your fingertips, with your arms stretched out from your sides, barely touched the walls, it reminded you of your closet at home. Sighing, you approached the bed to one side, it was built into the side of the ship, for obvious reasons, with a feather mattress laid into that, and a lip, to keep the bed's occupant from being either rolled out or tossed out with the ship's movement, no matter its speed and the type of waves it was sailing through. There was a porthole across from the bed, where you could only see the side of a ship that was docked beside the Kilmartin.
At the other side of your room was a heavy and deep chest, a chest full of your things, clothing to change into, toiletries and some other home comforts to keep you company, like a book or two. Sighing, you sat down on the bed and stared out the porthole, to what teeny strip of blue and cloudy sky you could see at the top of it.
“I already miss home.” You frowned, chewing on your lip.
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It was three weeks into the voyage to Lockemirth Island from London, and you had, more or less, gotten your sea legs; as your father put it. You had only spent the first day and a half hanging over the railing of the main deck, spilling any substance you put in your body, that wasn't already there to start with. All things considered though, you found yourself rather enjoying the life on board the ship, watching the crew go about their duties, pulling and tying ropes as thick as your arms, climbing the rigging like monkeys in trees; you marveled at their ease of doing it without falling or getting tangled up. You would join your father every evening or morning for a row around the main deck, keeping each other company and sane on the long journey.
But, on the second day of the fourth week, as you woke and dressed that morning, something felt different, off to the normal air and movement of the ship. Frowning, you made your way to the top side and heard all the noise and ruckus that was going on. You had grown used to all the noise that came with the ship, but there was more of it, frantically yelled orders and every crew member was in a manic rush to and fro, carrying this and dragging that, not even looking or uttering their usual greetings to you.
It frightened the wits out of you.
You quickly found your father in Captain Davis's quarters, both frantic as the crew, but also angry. Angry at each other, something else or both, you couldn't tell, but you knew the look of fear on your father's face, you had seen it only in times of great peril and strife.
“Papa, what's the matter?” You asked, moving forward to rest your hand on his arm, trying to give him some type of reassurance.
He started, feeling your warm touch on his arm, his billowing sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “My petal.” He gasped, blinking as if it was the first time he had ever set eyes on you. “You should go back down to your cabin, Petal. It's not quite safe for you, just now.”
You frowned at him, increasingly concerned. “Why?” You asked, blinking at him and glancing down at the map on the Captain's vast desk.
“My--” He paused and let out a harsh breath through his nose, a clear sign he's annoyed and at a stalemate for what to do and say. “It's nothing to be concerned with, my Petal. The dear Captain believes he saw an...unfriendly...ship on the horizon this morning.”
“Is it a pirate ship?” You let out in a rush, eyes wide with alarm.
“Of course not, Petal.” Your father chuckled, shaking his head at you. “It was flying the colors of a French flag.”
“It's easy enough for a pirate to fly a false flag in place of their own, until they get close enough to fly it, and at that point, it would be too late for us to escape their guns or their attempt to board us.” A man standing on the other side of the desk said, pessimistically.
“Mr. Gray!” Your father roared, slamming his fist down on the desk and causing several small, lead figurines to jump and fall over. “I would request you holding your tongue with such talk in front of my daughter.” He growled, dangerously.
“Bad luck to have a woman aboard, as is.” Mr. Gray continued, ignoring your father and glaring at you with unmasked distaste.
“It seems the only bad luck on this ship, Mr. Gray,” You hissed back, jaw stiff. “is your attitude.”
Your father repressed a snort of proud laughter into his fist, covering it up with a clearing of his throat. “Be it as it may, Mr. Gray. My daughter is on this ship, and if there were anything of luck to be had, it would be with her.” He told the First Mate, but smiled adoringly at you. “You have nothing to fret over, my Petal. All will be well. That French ship was most likely just sailing back to her home port with merchant goods.”
He took your hand from his forearm and escorted you to the open door of the Captain's quarters. “Didn't you start that lovely needle point work, just yesterday?” He inquired, stepping out of the quarters with you and closing the door behind him. “I simply can not wait for you to finish and show it to me, my dearest.” He told you, sounding most interested and desperate to see the finished product.
“I did.” You nodded, still uneasy about the information you received.
“Then, go back down to your cabin and work on finishing it.” He brought you to the doorway of the passage that led down to your cabins. “I'll be down shortly and we'll take our customary round about the deck. How does that sound?” He asked, grinning at you sweetly, too sweetly.
“Of course, Father.” You acquiesced with a soft sigh, you could tell he was overwhelmed with worry and frustration and didn't wish to add to it, so you conceded, bowing your head obediently to him.
“That's a dear girl.” He smiled at you, kissing your forehead, then returned to the Captain's quarters. “So, who do we think it was?” He asked, leaning against the desk and surveying the map, the knocked over figurines having been put back in their places.
“This time of the year?” Mr. Gray replied, stroking his smooth chin. “It could be anybody. Actual French, the Spanish, but more than likely, pirates.”
“Oh, come off it, Richard.” Captain Davis huffed, mopping his sweaty face with his handkerchief.
“I'm serious, Godfrey.” Gray huffed back at him, angered that his word wasn't being trusted. “It's hurricane season in the Caribbean, the Spanish and French, unless on official business wouldn't be sailing out here. We only are because we must get the new Governor and his daughter, to Lockemirth, or we too would be anchored in London Harbor. The only people crazy enough to sail in these waters are those and pirates, that know other ships will be anchored in harbors, or trying to reach harbor before a storm brews in, so they could take advantage of their desperation.”
“It was sailing clear in the other direction, Richard.” Davis answered, shaking his head at his First Mate's paranoia. “That was at first light this morning. If it was a pirate seeking advantage, we would have seen the change of course and reappear in our wake.”
“That was four hours ago.” Thomas replied, pressing his lips together. “They wouldn't have been able to stay in our wake and out of our sight for that long, in fear of losing us.” He explained, trying to be rational with the two of them.
“Sir Thomas is correct, Richard.” Davis agreed, dropping into the chair behind his desk. “They would have been re-spotted in some capacity. They have not been, so it can only be a French ship returning to her port, most likely a head of any storms that might form.” He said, pressing his fingertips to his thumping and sweaty temples. “I have Mr. Michaels on watch duty, he'll tell us if another, or the same ship, is spotted in our wake. So, until then, gentlemen, I recommend not wasting your energy and strength of fretting about it.”
Looking at each other, Sir Thomas and Mr. Gray nodded their heads at the Captain and excused themselves from his quarters, returning to their usual morning places. Your father came down to your cabin and after answering several of your worried questions, the pair of you went up onto the deck and started doing your rounds about it, the crew was in less of rush and panic, now that Mr. Gray had given them orders to ease their distress, greeting you and your father as you passed by them.
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The two of you were having lunch together with Captain Davis, when Mr. Gray came barreling into the room, out of breath and only making the smallest apologies for barging in without knocking or ceremony. Captain Davis wiped his mouth and dropped his silk napkin beside his plate with a deep air of irritation, then pushed his chair back and stood.
“What is this about, Mr. Gray?” He demanded, rounding the table to stand face to face with him.
“The ship, sir.” Mr. Gray wheezed, gulping thickly and trying to regain himself. “The French ship has been spotted again, six leagues behind us, Sir.” He informed his Captain, taking a deep gulp of air into his burning lungs.
Captain Davis's head snapped over his shoulder to your father, who was instantly to his feet and going out the door with Davis and Gray. You looked out the large bay window behind the Captain's chair to the endless and sparkling track of ocean and sky, but saw nothing in it, but choppy waves. Jumping to your feet, you rushed out of the room, catching your father's coat tails as he ran up the staircase leading to the upper deck, where the helm was stationed. Captain Davis snatched a folded spy glass from the helmsman, extending it to full length and spied out over the ocean, where Gray was pointing his finger, supposedly where he had seen the ship in question, not moments before.
You watched Davis's stiff shoulders slowly melt, making your anxiety spike, knowing if there was nothing of alarm to be seen, his shoulders would have stayed stiff, but they relaxed, like he was in agreement that there was something trailing behind the ship, and it was nothing good. You looked up as your father looked back at you and saw the same language of Davis's body, in his face.
“There's still no evidence the ship is sailed by pirates.” Davis said, handing his spy glass to your father. “There could be any number of reasons for her to turn back.”
“Why are you acting as if nothing is possibly afoul?” Gray asked, his teeth gritted as he tried to hold his temper with his commanding officer.
Captain Davis did not reply, his unfocused eyes stared off in the direction of the quickly growing black spot, you could now see, on the bright horizon, chewing on his lip as he tried to come up with something to do, some action to take against not only the possibility of the ship being indeed French and either in need of their help or sought to harm them, or if it was a pirate ship sailing under a fake French flag for evil pretenses, such as boarding, plundering and scuttling them.
“Captain!” Gray roared in his face, patience lost. “Orders!”
Davis snapped out of it and his face turned into an expression of hardened steel. “Let out the sails, catch as much of the wind as we can, try to get ahead of them as much as possible, but run out the guns in case we can not!” He snapped, then pushed aside the helmsman manning the ship's wheel.
Gray rushed to the railing overlooking the main deck and shouted the orders down to the crew, who paused for a moment, looking at each other as alarm and the urgency of it set in, then started running around to fulfill the orders. You stood frozen in place, you weren't part of the crew, those orders meant nothing to you in the slightest. So, you knew not what to do with yourself, other than stand there and watch that black spot steadily take the shape of a ship, and a mighty looking ship it was, even at such a distance, you shuddered to think what it would look like even closer still.
Your father clapped shut the spyglass and turned towards you, he looked ashen as your eyes met, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped down his own anxiety and fears, getting a handle on his resolve like a hand snapping closed around something valuable. He blindly held the closed spyglass out to the helmsman, who took it, and strode over to you with deep purpose, catching your elbow in his hand and turning you down the stairs.
“Sir Thomas!” Captain Davis yelled out, catching your father's attention. “Take her into my quarters, she should be safe there!” He said and the two men nodded heads at each other and your father helped you down the stairs and into the Captain's quarters.
“Papa?” You huffed as he escorted you inside, then turned on his boot heels and started out again, without a word to you. “Father!” You snapped, annoyed with him, and truly frightened.
“My Petal, fret not! All will settle down.” He told you, stopping in the doorway. “Once we out run that ship.”
“And if we do not?” You asked, brows lifting at him.
“We will.” He replied, sounding as if he was trying to convince both of you of that fact, before going out, closing and locking the quarters behind him.
Huffing and shaking your head at the door, you paced the room, trying to calm your nerves. Your father never lied to you, so if he said the Kilmartin would outrun the ship, then that's what it would do, and when it did that, it would no longer matter if the ship had good or ill deeds as its intentions against your ship, they would be lost behind and likely give up the chase. Sighing, you sat down on a padded bench under the long window at the back of the ship, staring at the ship that grew closer still.
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Within the hour, the ship was considerably closer to the Kilmartin, so close, you could see the little dots of crewmen scurrying about the rigging. It did nothing to ease your anxiety and fear, if anything it made it worse, and knew your father had to be feeling the same way. With another hour or two, the ship would no doubt be alongside yours, then the real trouble and anxiety would set in.
What would they do?
What did they want?
All questions that kept circling your mind as you watched the gap between the two ships narrow more and more as time passed.
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You hadn't realized you had dozed off, lulled by the rock of the ship, until you heard a loud boom and a splash of water, making you jerk and gasp. Your eyes snapped out the window and a strong dizzy spell made the room spin a full three hundred and sixty degrees, before steadying on the sight of the ship that had been chasing the HMS Kilmartin for the last several hours, you could see the bow of the ship now, clear as day, as well as the ship's figurehead, a lion's head with a rose in its mouth.
The noise that you had heard was the ship firing one of its cannons as a warning shot, an aggressive suggestion to stop trying to run and yield to them. But, you could tell by the pull of the ship, it hadn't let up an ounce of its speed, still trying to outrun them. You watched two more sails drop into place on their masts and knew, in that instant, that the pursers hadn't been using their ship's full strength to overtake the Kilmartin, they had been toying with them, the whole time.
The ship gained considerable speed in only a few minutes, leaning slightly to the starboard as it was maneuvered to pull alongside the Kilmartin. You jumped up onto your feet and looked out the windows to the side of the ship, watching as the ship slid into place beside yours, you could see the open cannon ports and the guns in place, ready and waiting for the ship's captain to give the order to open fire.
The doors to the quarters burst open and you yelped, startled, but sighed, seeing it was just your father. He gave you a half sympathetic smile, but his expression was agitated and frantic, sweat pouring from his brow and his usually immaculate clothing disheveled. He strode over to you, pulling you bodily away from the windows, eyes darting between you and the ship outside them.
“Get away from there.” He snapped, hastily. “It isn't safe.”
“I thought we were to out run them.” You said, gripping his hands in yours.
“So, we thought we would, but it seems these people are not to be underestimated.” He replied, squeezing your trembling hands. “Stay away from the windows, and no matter what you hear and what happens, do not come out of this room, until I come for you. Do you understand me?”
“If you--”
“Do you understand!” He barked, hotly.
You drew away from him, surprised at his temper towards you. “I do.” You replied softly, brows creasing.
“Good.” He nodded, letting go of your hands and left you locked in the Captain's quarters, yet again.
It wasn't twenty minutes later another shot rang out, this time from a musket, instead of a cannon. You weren't sure what ship it had been issued from and weren't sure it even mattered, it wasn't a good sign by and by. Your heart was hammering against your corset strings, there was a battle coming, even you knew that much. You dared to peek out the window again and regretted it, as the guns from both ships opened fire. Yelping, you dropped to the floor and scurried over to the Captain's desk, taking cover underneath it.
There were reports from cannons, muskets and pistols, mixed in with shouts of orders and insults, the screams of the injured and dying, the shattering and splintering groans of wood as cannonballs ripped through both ships. It felt like forever since the battle started, soon joined with the resounding clang of metal as the men from the other ship managed to board the Kilmartin and a battle of swords broke out. This was all the worst case scenarios that your father and the Captain had been trying to avoid since first spotting of the ship that morning and all you could think of was the image of your father laying on the deck bleeding to death or already being dead.
You peeked at the door from over top the desk, not willing to come out of your hiding place, once you heard the sudden and unsettling silence that fell between the ships. Had the crew of the Kilmartin won at defending their ship, or had the other ship won? Maybe, neither ship won and they had all killed each other! What would that mean for you, being the only one still alive? You couldn't sail a ship on your own, even if you knew how to. Did that mean you would be left here to starve or feel the mercy of whatever the sea and weather threw at you. Maybe you would get lucky and another ship would pass by, investigate why two ships were motionless in the middle of the ocean and would save you. Or the ship would be pushed in the direction of some spot of civilization, saving you that way.
But, the more your mind came up with these possible scenarios and questions, the more and more outlandish and infinitely impossible they became.
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Sir Thomas, your father, and Captain Davis watched as the ship not only dropped two more sails, but also lowered the French flag it had been flying since it had been spotted that morning.
“Please, not a red one.” Thomas muttered under his breath. “Please, not the red.”
“What's the matter with a red flag?” A deckhand, who had been standing behind him asked.
Thomas half turned to him, lifting a brow at him. “New to a ship, I'm supposing.”
“Aye, sir.” He nodded, looking even more nervous.
“Pirates flags are signals to those the pirates are pursuing.” Thomas replied, pushing his jaw forward. “A black pirate flag means that anyone who surrenders will be allowed to live. But, a red pirate flag means, 'no quarter given'.” He explained, but saw the naive look in the green deckhand's eyes.
“In layman's terms, no matter what, everyone on board will die, despite them surrendering peacefully or not.”
The deckhand's face drained of all color, as the true gravity of the situation struck him, before he bolted for the railing and vomited over the side. Thomas shook his head at the boy, turning back towards the gaining ship, just in time to see the pitch black flag unfurl at the top of the main mast, baring a white skull with a red rose in its mouth, letting out the teeniest amount of tension from Thomas's body. He and Davis exchanged looks with each other, the same thought going through their minds at seeing the black flag, instead of the red one.
A moment later, as the ship pulled alongside the Kilmartin, a musket shot went off, whizzing past Thomas and Davis, and struck the green deckhand between the shoulder blades, knocking him over the railing and into the ocean with a splash. Thomas looked across the small gap between the ships, his eye meeting the eye of the man standing beside its wheel, as he lowered the smoking musket from his shoulder, a smug and unapologetic expression on his face as the crew of the ship lined the railing closet to the Kilmartin, their own weapons loaded and ready for whatever was to come next.
“Surrender now!” the musket wielding man shouted across. “No harm will come to you or your crew!”
Captain Davis took a step forward, resting his hand on one of the handles of the ship's wheel, grasping it so tightly his knuckles turned bone white. “I haven't surrendered to a pirate's demand in the twenty years I've been a Captain.” He hissed, under his breath and between clenched teeth.
“I don't bloody intend to now.”
“Captain, we can not afford to fight these men.” Gray hissed back at him.
“This is His Majesty's Ship and it shall stay that way.” Davis snapped, turning his head to glare at his First Mate. “Pirates be damned!” He roared out loud, turning his venom back to the other ship.
“Fire!” He ordered aloud.
There was a momentary lull, before the firing started, blast after blast of cannon fire from blew the ships' decks and the firing of muskets on deck. Men taking cover between shots to reload their guns, then popping back up again to return fire. The splashes of missed shot and dead bodies falling into the raging sea between the ships, splinters of wood rained down on top of them as balls smashed through railings, masts and hauls. A scurry of men on the pirate ship climbed the rigging with ease, grabbing onto loose lines to swing across the no man's land between the ships and boarded the Kilmartin, pulling their swords and cutlasses, cutting down any poor fellow in their way, before they themselves could pull their metal, and swept through the deck.
The Kilmartin was soon overwhelmed after that, forcing Captain Davis to wave a white flag and surrender to the organized and clever pirates. A gangplank was laid between the bobbing ships, but no one crossed it, instead, a tall and bearded man stepped forward, his hair was pulled back into a short ponytail, he wore a dark brown jerkin over a billowing white shirt and tight leather pant; lifting a brow and tilting his head at the assembly of the remaining Kilmartin crew, before settling his piercing blue gaze on Davis.
“You are the Captain of this ship, I presume?” He asked in a deep voice.
“I am.” Davis replied, not hiding his disgust with the man, whose clothing was stained and spotted with the blood of his men. “Who might you be, then?”
“I'm the Captain of the Crimson Jersey.” He replied, jerking his head towards the other ship.
A low murmur went through the Kilmartin men, their fright became even more profound hearing the name of the ship that had attacked them, side eyeing each other and their captures. The Crimson Jersey was one of the most feared Pirate Ships on the high seas, there was only one other ship feared more than the Crimson Jersey and that was Black Beard's Queen Anne's Revenge, and even Black Beard had a measure of respect for the Captain of the Crimson Jersey. While the Captain of the Crimson Jersey, Henry the Red, rarely left people alive from his attacks on their ships, he was well known for attacking well off ships and taking either people or materials as captives, until a set ransom was met, if the ransom wasn't met, then he would kill the captive or keep the materials to sell to the highest bidder at one of the Pirate Ports.
“We have nothing of value on the ship.” Captain Davis said, narrowing his eyes at the other Captain.
“Then, what is the HMS Kilmartin doing out so far from her beloved port?” Henry the Red asked, lifting a suspicious brow at Davis.
“His Majesty the King has ordered us to sail to Port Royal to retrieve the Governor there and bring him back to London, for personal commendation.” Davis told him, lying easily to the Pirate Captain's face.
“It must be some commendation for him to order it this late in the year, the threat of hurricanes are quite common about this time.” Henry replied, sensing Davis's lie, but his eyes moved to Thomas, noticing his shifty behavior and the way he kept trying to subtly look towards the doors of the Captain's quarters.
“Is there something bothering you?” He asked, stepping closer to Thomas. “Like a secret you know.”
“I know nothing of what you speak.” Thomas replied, glaring back at the man.
“Is that so?” He replied, a knowing smirk on his lips. “Then, you'll have no quarrel with me going to have a look.” He said, striding over to the locked doors of the quarters.
“Don't!” Thomas suddenly shouted, his resolve breaking away to his fear of the pirate finding you inside.
Henry turned back to Thomas and laughed at him, more than sure now there was something of great value inside. Taking a step back, he kicked the doors open with a crash of his big boot and entered. At first, he didn't see anything of value inside the room, but he didn't get deterred easily, especially when there was the prospect of treasure involved. He searched the room and as he neared the desk, saw the hem of a dress underneath it and grinned, knowing now what that treasure really was.
“Well, well.” He cooed, stepping around the back of the desk. “Who do we have here?” He laughed, watching you draw yourself further underneath the desk.
Bending down, he reached underneath the desk and grabbed a hold of your arm, yanking you halfway out before you sank your teeth into his meaty forearm. He hissed as you broke his skin and the copper-y taste of his blood touched your tongue, but his vise-like grip didn't relent, he only gripped you tighter and finished dragging you out of your hiding place.
“Oh, feisty and pretty.” He chuckled, surveying you with an unguarded eye. “I like that.” He smiled, then grunted as you stomped on his foot. “Watch yourself, wench.” He hissed, knotting his hand in the back of your hair and painfully jerking your head back, making your vision swim. “Try such a thing again and you'll lose something precious to you.” He warned, then dragged you out of the quarters.
“Let her go!” Thomas roared, taking a step towards you both, only to be stopped with a punch to the gut.
“Father!” You shrieked, jerking against Henry, only to be yanked backwards against him and his free hand wrapped around your throat.
“Father?” Henry mocked, smiling between you and Thomas. “Is this your dear daughter?”
“Let her go.” Thomas wheezed, straightening himself up. “I'll give you anything you wish, just please let her go.” He begged.
“She's all I have left in this world.”
Henry grinned at your father and turned his face into your hair. “I'm sure you would give me anything in the world to have her back.” He whispered against the skin of your temple. “So, tell me, what is it you're willing to give me for her back?” He asked, looking at your father from the corner of his eye.
Thomas floundered, his heart racing as he held your terrified gaze. “I'm on my way to take my station as Governor of Lockemirth Island, in the Caribbean.” He gasped, trying to get a hold of himself. “That is the purpose of the HMS Kilmartin being at sea. Once there, I will be in command of a very large sum of money and goods, I will give you half of it, for her safety and return.”
Henry pursed his lips and clicked his tongue as he considered the offer, then shook his head. “Three fourths of it.” He demanded, twisting a lock of your loose hair around his finger. “No less, Governor.”
Your father floundered for another moment, before his shoulders dropped and he nodded his head. “Fine.”
“Excellent.” Henry grinned, gripping your arm again and pushing your forward, towards the gangplank bouncing up and down between the ships.
“Wait, no!” You shrieked, turning and trying to get back to your father. “Father!”
“It'll be all right, Petal!” He shouted back, blocked by three of Henry's men.
“You can't!” You protested, pushing back against Henry as he hustled you forward.
“I can and I am.” Henry laughed, grinning at you, then tossed you over his shoulder and stepped onto the gangplank.
“Papa!” You screamed, flailing on Henry's shoulder.
Your father shouted your name back, but it was lost in the wind. The pirates disembarked from the Kilmartin and back onto the Crimson Jersey, careful that the Kilmartin crew didn't try to storm them and try to return the attack, in an attempt to rescue you. Once everyone was onboard, the gangplank was drawn back and the ships were separated.
In no time, the HMS Kilmartin was starting to disappear in the dying light of the horizon.
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Henry kicked open the door of his quarters, then kicked it closed again, before setting you down in front of his desk. He crossed to one side of the room, plucking a bottle of dark green glass from a table, uncorked it and poured a brown liquid from inside of it into a goblet, tossing it back and poured himself another.
“You monstrous swine!” You growled at him, sneering at his broad back.
He turned towards you, lifting his glass in salute. “Aye!” He laughed and downed his drink again, before pouring yet another drink. “You'll be kept here, in my quarters, with me.” He informed you, sipping this glass.
“I would rather rot on deck.” You barked at him, upper lip twitching with disgust.
“Oh, that can be arranged, if my lady wishes it.” He chuckled, swirling his drink. “But, I must inform you, pet.” He set his drink down and approached you, pinching your chin between his thumb and index finger and tipped your head back to look up at him. “It's been several months since my men have set a foot on land, so it's been many a month since they've had the pleasure of a woman's warm body.”
You gulped, your stubbornness starting to fail you.
“While I am far more educated and in command of myself, my men are not.” Henry continued, seeing the blooming realization and fear in your eyes. “So, you can take your chances with them, which you will have none, or you can stay in the relative safety of my quarters.” The register of his deep voice lowered. “Here, my men know better than to enter and anything inside is purely mine, under my protection.” He let go of your chin and strode to his door, yanking it open.
“Your choice.”
You stared at him, gulping and biting into your lip, but didn't move from the spot he had dropped you in, seeing the validity and safety of staying where you were at. A smile crept over his lips and he slammed the door shut again, seeing you had made your choice to stay in the safety only he could give you on board. He moved back to the table, pouring a drink into a second goblet and held it out to you, but you didn't move or say a word. He shrugged his shoulders at you and downed it instead, before taking up his first one around to his desk, settling himself in the high backed chair, to do the needed paperwork that came with piracy.
“Sit down.” He ordered you, motioning to a chair beside you. “Now!” He barked, when you didn't move.
Huffing at him, you pulled the chair sideways and dropped down into it, refusing to look at him or acknowledge his presence. None of which bothered him in the slightest, he was content in the quiet privacy of his mind and work, not paying you all much mind, other than making sure you stayed where he told you to be. After sundown, a soft knock sounded at his door and, at Henry's permission, opened to a crew member, who entered with a silver tray laden with food. He set the tray down on his Captain's desk, nodded his obedient head at him and left. Henry picked up one of the plates on the tray, then pushed the tray towards you.
“If you wish to starve, that's on you.” He commented, when you didn't move. “But, don't whine about it later.” He told you, tearing off a chunk of bread and popped it into his mouth.
Rubbing at his eyes in the dim candle light, Henry stacked his papers together and put them in the bottom drawer of his desk, locking it up with a key that hung around his neck, then stood. He toed out of his boots and crossed the room, hanging his sword and pistol on a hook by the door, removed the brown leather jerkin he was wearing over his shirt and hung it up on the same hook, then locked the door with the same key that was around his neck. He turned and regarded you, still sitting, motionless and sulky, on the chair in front of his desk and rolled his eyes.
“The stubbornness of women.” He huffed to himself, going to a set of heavy curtains to one side of the room.
“The ilk of men.” You growled back at him, angry eyes burning holes into his back.
Henry laughed, jerking back the curtains to reveal a bed behind them, then turned around to grin at you. “Something we agree on, pet.” He chuckled, amused, then sighed and reached behind his head, tugging loose the tight leather string that tied his hair back and shook his head, setting free a mop of dark cinnamon curls, that softened his look considerably.
“Lay down.” He ordered, jerking his curly head to the large, curtained bed.
You snorted at him. “No.”
“That wasn't a question, pet.”
“Don't call me that.”
“I'll call you what I want, now lay down.” He barked at you, eyes hardening.
You turned your own hardened eyes towards him, but didn't budge.
Growling deep in his throat, Henry took several long strides towards you, yanked you out of the chair and back over his shoulder, unphased by you beating on his back to be put down, then dropped you, bodily, onto his bed. With you where he wanted you, Henry turned towards the large bay window behind his desk and made himself comfortable on the cushions there, stuffing one of them behind his head, before dozing off.
You laid there, surprised he hadn't tried to force himself on you or the very least crawl into bed beside you. You half expected him to wait until you fell asleep to try something, but his soft snores soon reached you. Biting your lip, you sat up at the edge of the bed and looked over at him, he was laying half propped up, the quarter moon illuminating one side of his face. He wasn't faking, he was actually asleep. Sighing, you laid back again, your mind spinning, trying to work up the nerve to steal that key around his neck and escape. But, where would you go, once you did have the key and the door open? You had a ship full of his men, on an open ocean, where the ship had already put countless miles between you and the Kilmartin.
Perhaps, you could buy your time, until and in hopes, they made port, to wait for your father's word he had the ransom, then steal away, finding safety somewhere in the port until your father and the Crown could rescue you.
“Pirates.” You huffed, then drew the bed curtains closed, not wanting that bloody pirate to be the last face you saw before you managed to fall asleep.
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apocalypticgargoyle · 3 years
Text
𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐔𝐌 𝐈𝐈 ↟ 𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞
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↠  summary: Overcome with fever, you struggle to separate fact from fiction and after an unwanted visitor meets his end, you finally experience the infamous Blood God.  
↠ fantasy au
↠  pairing: c!Techno x fm!reader
↠  tw: blood, death/killing, gore, reader’s lack of morals, fever dream flashbacks
↠  wc: ~2.3k 
↠  previous chapter ↟ make a request ↟ create the next moodboard 
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The wildflowers seemed to grow around you, threading through your fingers and cradling your body as the sun warmed your skin. You stretched your limbs, basking in the sweet rays when your hand was swatted back to your side, capturing your attention.
You turned your head, eyes meeting Dream’s. His green irises were nearly iridescent in the brightness. His blond hair was lighter than when you’d last seen him. Then again, the two of you were covered in grime, on opposite ends of a blade.
“Where’ve you been?” He asked, voice calm and optimistic. “I’ve been looking for you.”
You smiled slightly. “I’ve met a man, Dream. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going to fall in love with me,” you joshed, turning your head back up to the sun. Spirals of color swirled with the clouds in the sky, mimicking a strange painting.
You could tell Dream was smirking at you. “Bring him with you. I need you back.”
You brushed your fingers against the brittle pages of the book in front of you. The worn spine and faded words brought a small smirk to your lips, knowing full well the book was only in such a state because of how well-loved it had been. It was an old story, one that you’d grown up hearing before being shuffled off to bed with the other children.
There was some kind of red marking in it as if it’d been in a child’s hands before you, which was probably the reason you’d had to stand on a chair to get to it. Of course, this was done behind Techno’s back as he bustled about, finishing up chores and whatnot.
You knew the extent of your injures now: a sprained, almost broken ankle, your side was torn open making Techno recount how many stitches were crisscrossing against your ribs. The pain that was the most troublesome was oddly the gash on your arm, cut open by a branch in the mix of your rush through the snow. Occasionally, your fingers went numb if you twisted your wrist wrong or pressed on the wound, to which Techno would cleverly quip, “Just don’t do that then.”
Techno strolled into your room, leaning against the door frame as he rolled the sleeves of his tunic. You perked an eyebrow in his direction, silently asking what he wanted. “You’ve spiked a fever three times this week. I need to keep an eye on you, but I have some chores to take care of outside,” he stated, approaching your bed.
“It’s the wound on her side,” an unfamiliar voice called, breaking into your dreaming. Your body began to tremble as your fingers absently searched for more blankets. You felt sticky and ill as if at any intense movement, you would surely die.
Coarse fingers brushed against your forehead gently. You recognized Techno almost instantly, even with the tiredness of your body preventing you from opening your eyes. “No, love. We need to get your fever down.”
You swallowed hoarsely. “Creat. I need creat,” you grumbled, reaching for his hands. “There’s some in my bag,” you mumbled, being pulled back to sleep by your exhausted body.
You furrowed your brows, narrowing your eyes as you looked at him. “So?”
“So, you’re coming with me,” he stated, pulling the book out of your grasp and yanking the covers off your frame. You let out a protesting groan as he held his hands out for you. When you didn’t budge, he rolled his eyes, slipping his arms beneath you and pulling you up as if you were nothing more than a sack of flour. You struggled to escape his grasp but to no avail. “Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder, brat,” he threatened playfully.
You scoffed. “You wouldn’t. I’m injured,” you countered.
He sent you a smug expression. “I said what I said,” he assured. You went limp in his arms as he stepped out of the room, making him chuckle at your dramatics as your body mimicked liquid. “You’re just like Tommy,” he mumbled more to himself than you.
You straightened up, pulling your arm over his shoulder and fitting to his hold. “Who’s Tommy?” You quizzed making him shake his head.
“A story for another time,” he answered simply.
You rolled your eyes slightly, attempting not to blush at the feeling of his hands curling around your body. “Fine. Keep your secrets.” He chuckled at your statement, pushing the door open with his foot. You took note of the set of arrows mounted with a bow beside the door, as if ready to be grabbed in the midst of an attack. The wind and winter hit you like a ton of bricks, the brightness of the sun gleaming off the snow burning your eyes. You weren’t sure how long you’d been inside, but you felt like an alien when presented with the elements again.
You shivered slightly as he put you down on the steps, pulling off his cloak and tucking it around you. You were swimming in the fabric as it pooled around you. You attempted not to dig your nose into its velvet coloring, which was still warm from Techno, his scent swarming around you. He didn’t pay any mind to you as you pressed the soft material against your cheek. “Who’s Dream?” He asked, setting a log up on a large stump before chopping it in half with the ax that was once wedged in the snow.
You looked at him cautiously. “Why do you ask?”
His ruby eyes flashed towards you momentarily. “You mumble about him in your sleep sometimes…” he commented.
You chewed your bottom lip, fighting not to smirk. “You’re watching me sleep now, Techno?”
He chuckled, splitting another log. His arms tensed with each impact; hair combed by the soft wind. “I was making sure the fever didn’t take you, so yes.” His quip made your cheeks heat. “Try not to over-exert yourself.”
When you finally woke up the last time, Techno’s head rested in his arms on the edge of the bed. As soon as you inched your arm to rub one of your eyes, he woke up, eyes peering at you as if you’d explode at any moment.
He stood, pressing his hand against your forehead and sighing in relief. His features seemed softer in the candlelight as he looked over you. “Let me check your wound,” he whispered softly as if trying not to disturb you as he lifted the covers, another sigh leaving his lips. A sign that you were finally close to being out of the woods.
Before you had the opportunity to answer him or swat off another one of his questions with a flirtatious remark, the sound of an approaching horse rider pulled both your attentions toward the woods surrounding the cabin. Techno let the ax fall to his side, eyeing you as if to tell you to keep quiet as a man stepped off the animal, dressed in the King’s armor.
Your heart stilled as your mind raced with attempting to place him. You swore you’d seen him before. Instead of reacting with fear, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You stood from the step you were perched on, your legs shaking as you gained your balance. You hated to admit it, but you were still weak from your injuries and the fever.
You leaned against the railing beside the steps as the man approached Techno. Something clicked within you and you realized the reason he was there. Strength pumped through your body suddenly as you inched your way towards Techno. As if he could sense you nearing him, Techno peered over his shoulder. Your haggard appearance and choppy hair served as your shield from the man’s recognition.
The soldier eyed Techno, wetting his lips slightly. “Sorry to disturb you, but I’m looking for someone,” the man began. You settled your hand on Techno’s lower back, reaching for his ax as he let it slip into your hands.
The man nodded to you in a greeting. “I haven’t seen anyone new in these woods,” Techno answered him, voice an octave lower as you made him the barrier between you and the man.
The man narrowed his eyes at Techno, face twisting into a mocking grin. “Well, if you come across her, Councilman Dream’s offering a hefty reward for her return.” Techno nodded slowly at him, attempting not to give you away as you went around the soldier. “From one man to another, I think you’re lying about her whereabouts. I’m sure the authorities would love to know where you are too.”
You heard Techno scoff, crossing his arms. You pursed your lips, getting a better hold on the ax before swinging at the man, severing his head from the rest of his body. Specks of his blood splattered against your face, the man dropping to his knees before sinking into the snow. The hot liquid was a stark contrast to the wind nipping at your cheeks.
Techno’s eyes blared at you, his mouth gaping partially. You wiped a hand across your face, attempting to get rid of the sticky crimson substance. “Blood for the Blood God,” you quipped, lips twisting into a smirk as he remained frozen. His pupils dilated, making you quiver. Suddenly, you felt like you’d disappointed him. “They won’t miss him. Look,” you squatted beside the man’s body, pulling his sleeve up to reveal the mercenary’s mark on his forearm; a crudely etched blood eagle staring back at you. “Plus, his armor is cheap. It’s a remake. He’s one of Dream’s sellswords-“
He cut you off, stepping over the body and grabbing your face in his hands, hoisting you onto your feet as he towered over you. Something animalistic burned in his features, anger dripping from his appearance as his fingers wrapped around the back of your neck. He terrified you, your hands moving to grip onto his wrists for stability. Your sights were glued to his as the two of you breathed heavily, your body coming down from its adrenaline high and his restraining whatever his primal urges were commanding of him.
He pulled you close to him as if he were going to press his lips against yours to elevate whatever was racing through his mind. Your body went limp in his hold before he bore his sharpening teeth. “Go inside,” he commanded, allowing you to slip from his grasp. You sank to your knees before him, his burning eyes ripping from you as he mounted one of his horses and left.
Your mind snapped into reality, tugging you to your feet and running into the house to grab the bow and arrows. You swung your leg over the man’s horse, taking off in the direction Techno went, desperately trying to wipe the man’s blood from your features. You looked for broken sticks and any tracks as the snow thinned until you finally spotted in him in the distance, sliding off his horse with his eyes focused on a deer in front of him.
You put tension on the bowstring, your arrow angling towards the deer. Without hesitation, you let it fly through the air, whistling slightly against the wind before boring into the deer. Techno’s head snapped towards you as you approached. “Rip it apart,” you stated, leaning on the horn of the saddle. The two of you sized each other up, breath forming clouds to mix with the winter air before he heeded your words.
You chewed your nail as you paced in front of the door, psyching yourself up to intrude on Techno. The image of him tearing the deer in half burned into the back of your mind, but you couldn’t help to wonder what he thought of you after you’d killed a man, even if he was a mercenary. You’d faced intimidating rulers without batting an eye, but Techno…
Techno was different.
You knocked lightly, pushing the door open. He looked at you over his shoulder, unbothered as he nodded for you to enter. You tried not to stare at the scars decorating the portion of his back that was sticking out of the tin bathtub. You stepped toward him, sitting on the floor beside him and pressing your shoulder to the other side of the tub so the two of you were facing in opposite directions. You felt like a child awaiting punishment.
“So, the Blood God lives then?” You broke into the silence. It seemed to be inappropriate to joke about now; for the first time since meeting him, you were serious.
Techno allowed a beat of silence to pass between the two of you, making you turned to look at him. His strong shoulders that you’d only dreamed about were on full display as his arms leaned against the edges of the tub, head leaned back slightly as his eyes closed. “Don’t condone my actions next time,” he mumbled, taking you aback. “And allow me to deal with the bloodshed.” He meant to tell you not to kill in defense of him anymore. You’d already explained that the man’s threat was the hairline for you; what swung the ax so harshly.
You swallowed. “You didn’t answer me,” you countered.
He sighed. “Only when provoked.” You drew your legs to your chest, chin resting on your knees. He reached toward you, brushing a finger against your cheek, barely missing your healing wound. The touch was gentle and reassuring as if to consul you silently. “What a pair we are.”
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