#sometimes I am cursed with a brain that makes connections

[daz4i]

i feel like. a lot of people talking about horror miss the true horror factor in many stories and esp in body horror. the horrifying part is what's happening to the characters, yes, but when you sit down and think about it... the implications, if that's the right word, are scarier

take smth like a werewolf transformation. it has to be painful, even if you get used to it eventually, the unnatural changes to your body have got to hurt, and you don't recognize yourself by the end of it

the horror isn't the mere transformation, but the physical pain, and the psychological aspect

now take stories like i have no mouth and i must scream, or long dream, or the jaunt. yes, they all have their own horrifying aspects, but also elements that others might not consider horrifying - in particular, a long life, or even immortality. some people truly strive for that. yet, here they are presented as horrifying. and i think that's for the same reason

i think. the true horror in most horror media. isn't the monster itself or the killer or the machine etc. it's consciousness

think about it. why does a slow death sound horrifying? it's your awareness of the pain you're going through, as well as the knowledge that you're about to cease to exist. the actual death is normally considered a mercy in these situations, because your suffering stops. your suffering stops once your consciousness stops.

and! this idea is true about both in-universe and on a meta level. a lot of horror relies on keeping things juuuust out of sight to get your mind going and scare itself better than any sfx or verbal descriptions ever could. your own brain working against you, the same way it works against the characters in the story.

the common thread between any horror that i, at least, find scary, is the human brain itself

and it's scarier, bc this is real. this is smth you experience every day. you wake up and think thoughts and are generally aware of what's going on for most of the day, for better or worse. this same level of awareness can be applied to the most horrific situations, and so, bam you've got yourself quality horror. and you're always just one accident or one mistake away from it, too. you just try not to think about it, because, well, your own brain is scarier than any monster it can conjure.

[sqrclouds]

what’s your problem?  ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

pairing. nishimura riki x fem reader

synopsis. based on tate mcrae’s “what’s your problem?” pls listen first. toxic relationship with riki.

wc. 1k

warnings. ANGST. hurt w no comfort. one suggestive sentence. one curse word. not dialogue based. jungwon cameo

i looped “what’s your problem?” while writing this. if this flops, no it fooking didn’t. ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

nishimura riki was a name you heard often. you were new in town but you knew never to approach him. never to talk to him. for anything. 

he saw you as an easy target. you were so sweet that he couldn’t turn down the opportunity to play with you, even if just a little. although, he wasn’t stupid. he knew his reputation and knew that he had to make you feel a connection when you talked to him.

“hey, you’re new here, right?” he asked you one day after observing you at your university. you only respond with a simple, “i am”. he takes a good look at you like a predator does with its prey. you were pretty. almost too pretty to see upset, but that’s what always happens to riki’s girls. 

you furrow your eyebrows at his action, knowing him for who he was and what he’d do to all of the girls across campus. his game was simple: mess around with one, go to the next. however, it would be different with you. he could tell.

“just wondering. do you need to be shown around sometime?” he asks with a charming smile. plant the idea in her head, he tells himself. you shake your head simply before walking away.

after that day, it was near impossible to get away from riki. he was always there somehow. so, you decided to play a game of your own. how far could you make him go for your attention? it was out of spite that you wanted to impress him.

each day you would show up to class with your makeup and hair perfectly done. you studied the girls he’s been with before to see what type of styles he liked. he usually went for the more girly types of girls, but you thought that any would do for a man named nishimura riki.

as weeks passed, you began to lose yourself in this little game. you started only living for the thrill and not for yourself. you started living for riki. and somehow, in this fucked up game you started loving him.

you wanted to get any idea of him out of the depths of your brain, so you began making new friends. you told your closest one at the time, jungwon, about your feelings. he immediately told you to stay away, but you couldn’t. it was like nishimura riki was a plague filling every gap of you.

you woke up every morning at 5 to look good for riki, for even just a glance. one night, jungwon and some other mutual friends invited you to a party. “riki will be there. don’t act stupid, alright? don’t get involved with him.” jungwon told you as you were getting ready.

maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it wasn’t. the only thing you remembered from that night was nishimura riki’s fingers wrapped around your neck and the pleasure that coursed through you. from then on, there was no hiding it. even if you got hurt, you needed him for just a little. you needed to fill the growing gape in your heart. 

and so, you found yourself in a relationship with him. “he’s changed! can’t you see that?” you’d said once in a text to jungwon. he tried so hard to protect you, but he knew in the end that he couldn’t do anything, so he let you stay with riki. 

you cried to riki about it. how your friends left you just because you were in a relationship with him. you cried into his chest and you could see through your tears the slightest twitch of his lips upwards into a smirk. but you knew riki. you knew he didn’t find pleasure in your pain. he loved you.

riki made sure to take you out on as many dates as he could. he spoiled you with gifts and kisses like it was easy for him. he’d make sure you dressed up for your nights out, bringing you to clubs for everyone to know that you were his. 

one time, you found riki liking risqué things on his instagram page. things that could easily get taken down if the wrong eyes found it. “baby, i only love you. you know that. who do i come home to every night?” he’d tell you with the most caring tone as you cried to him again. once your sniffles seized, he let out a smile he was holding back and acted like it was to cheer you up. you’d die for him and that smile, so it made you smile too. he knew that.

at this point, jungwon was concerned. riki hadn’t been with a new girl in months and he thought that maybe, and he’d say that with a hopeful tone, that riki really has changed. he almost started believing it until a week later when riki cheated on you. 

he’d gone to a party without you and kissed another girl. the news was all over town, even a video was surfacing. everyone knew you were riki’s but he kissed that girl with such hunger he never kissed you with before.

you were crying on the floor of your shared apartment in the doorway between your bedroom and the hallway. you’d moved in with him, you’ve said “i love you” to him, and it seemed that it was still only a game to him. you laid there for hours waiting for riki to come home. to tell you that he didn’t cheat, that it was all fabricated. that the video was somehow fake.

he came home, but he didn’t console you. he let you cry and he watched, towering over you. he didn’t say anything. he didn’t want you to either as you packed your things and left with a piece of your heart missing. a piece that only he had, and a piece that you feared would never revive yourself to the woman you once were.  and he did it again, and again, and again with other girls.

“what's your problem? you think that you're a god.”

frankly, yes, he did think he was a god.

[shuaboo]

🍓boyfie ZB1 ft. bfs lil bro!yujin

🧺 lowercase intended // cw: other than a very small bit of swearing, none. // sry no wc im too lazy😭

🍰 a/n: sorry if this is quite messy, i usually open this draft at 3 am so my brains all fucked up n shit. yujin is included but he is not your bf bc i won’t write romantic stuff abt a minor due to my age ty.

bf!jiwoong who will always take photos of you and take selfies with you on his iphone with a blurry ass front cam :((. whether you’re on a date, just at home, running errands, on a walk— hes going to snap a pic. when you’re sitting beside each other sometimes he just lays his head on your shoulder or kisses your cheek and takes a selfie. just.. bf!jiwoong who is the complete embodiment of “take a pic, it’ll last longer.”

bf!zhang hao who is your other half of the olive theory. if ever there is an ingredient or food that you don’t like on your plate, all you need to do is ask hao because he’s probably going to accept. OR bf!hao who orders your usual order when you try something new, just incase you end up not liking the taste of your own order. for example: you want to try a new kind of coffee. hao always asks you if you’re sure before you try something new. when you confirm, he orders the usual style of coffee that you order. if you end up liking it… hao is happy that you like it and he doesn’t mind drinking your usual. but if it’s the opposite, he offers you his order— your usual, and takes the new drink off your hands and drinks that instead. AURGSHD i hope you guys get what i mean!!

bf!hanbin who has boyfie senses. he just knows everything about you, that’s how observant he is. he makes sure to observe a lot of the things you do, like, dislike, etc. he knows what type of hair tie you like, what glasses frame you prefer, how you fidget when you’re feeling anxious or nervous, everything. sometimes when you’re not feeling well and haven’t told hanbin yet, you’ll get a message from him asking how you are or if you’re feeling okay. it stuns you every single time he does it. it’s like he has connections to the system of your brain.

bf!matthew who is always down to try everything with you. i feel like matthew is very adventurous. if you want to try camping, he’ll do it with you and explain everything you need. if you want to try some new food, he’ll help you look for the place to try it. he’s always the one who takes and does your firsts with you. he supports your curiosity (most of the time) because he believes that it’s always good to try something new. basically just bf!matt who is your partner in everything.

bf!taerae who loves to sing for you, and would probably sing for you everyday if you’d just ask. taerae has such a beautiful singing voice, his voice is like pouring rays of sunshine, clouds, and rainbows into your ears. if you are having a hard time sleeping, all you need to do is lay against his chest and ask him to sing for you. the combination of his voice and his heartbeat is the perfect lullaby for you. when you’re on a road trip, a carpool session is essential! pro tip: do not challenge taerae with a karaoke battle, you WILL lose :P.

bf!ricky who WILL pay for everything. he does not let you take out your wallet, it’s always his treat. whether you’re on a restaurant date, shopping date, anything! he. will. pay! the only time ricky lets it slide is when you do errands together, but even then he still offers to pay. always expect “just because” gifts from ricky as well. because i do believe that he has a good eye, meaning that he knows what you like. so if he sees a piece that he thinks you’d look good in, he will 100% get it for you.

bf!gyuvin who loves couple trends!!!! i believe yes yes! matching outfits, tiktok dances, matching pfps, couple poses, everything!!! imagine going to the amusement park with gyuvin. you’ll have matching outfits on, you’ll do tiktok dances (ex: dsico by surf curse), take pics at the photobooth if they have it, take couple pics. every single person around you gets a slap in the face abt how single they are when they see you two. (i have another post abt gyuvin, also hcs/thoughts: thoughts abt bf!gyuvin)

bf!gunwook who props you up on the bathroom counter and stands in between your legs to do your skincare… when you’re feeling tired but you need to do your skincare, he’ll literally just do it for you. gunwook is strong enough to pick you up, put you on the counter, and then start doing your skincare. he doesn’t even need to ask you what goes first, next, and last. he has your skincare routine memorized!!!! all you need to do is just sit there and try to not fall asleep on the spot as he does his thing. you can trust that he knows your usual routine, your routine when you breakout, etc. skincare is something you and gunwook bond over as a couple. he loves taking care of you as much as he loves doing it for himself.

bf’s little bro!yujin who 100% loves u more than his brother 😎. when his brother takes you home he probably doesn’t approach you first, so you had to reach out. when he does get to know you, he thinks you’re pretty cool. he asks your boyfriend often if he’s taking you with him when they go out, since sometimes you do join in for some of their family outings. expect to be the in the middle of their bickering sometimes, siblings will be siblings. i think you’ll get to a point where yujin trusts you enough to sometimes talk to you about things he feels he can’t really discuss with his brother. he trusts that you won’t tattle on him, please don’t break it.

sorry for edging heres the yap sesh 🙏🏻

[therpistlr]

 "Ghost in My Own Body: A Raw Vent About Dissociation"

I’m so tired of feeling like a passenger in my own fucking life.

One minute I’m here. The next, I’m floating somewhere behind my eyes, watching my hands move like they belong to a stranger. The world goes flat—colors muted, sounds muffled, like someone turned down the volume on reality. This isn’t “zoning out.” This is dissociation: a prison where my mind checks out to survive, but leaves me stranded in the wreckage.

What People Don’t Get

“Just stay present!” Wow, thanks! Let me just un-detach from my body like it’s a fucking Wi-Fi connection. Grounding techniques? I’ve inhaled enough lavender oil to drown a yoga studio. Still here, still gone.

“But you look fine!” Yeah, because I’ve mastered autopilot. Smiling on cue, laughing at jokes I don’t hear, nodding like I’m not screaming inside a glass box.

The shame of forgetting: Lost hours. Conversations I can’t recall. Did I eat? Shower? Text someone? My memory’s a sieve, and I’m the idiot shaking it for crumbs.

A Day in the Fog

Morning: Wake up feeling like my soul’s stuffed with cotton. Stare at the ceiling. “Is this my room? Is this my skin?” Shower in cold water to feel something. It doesn’t work. Work: Nod through a meeting. My voice echoes, like I’m lip-syncing to a bad recording. Coworker asks, “You okay?” I say, “Tired.” Truth: “I don’t know who ‘I’ am right now.” Night: Scroll TikTok for hours, brain numb. Find a video I liked yesterday. No memory of it. Cry because I can’t even trust my own fucking thumbs.

The Worst Part?

I don’t know why this happens. Trauma? Anxiety? My brain’s just broken? Therapists toss terms like “depersonalization” and “window of tolerance,” but none of it stitches me back into my body. Meds turn me into a zombie. Mindfulness feels like gaslighting. “Breathe and come back!” Bitch, where is back?!

To the People Who Say “It’s a Coping Mechanism”:

Cool. Thanks, brain, for “protecting” me by making me feel dead inside. A+ job.

To Anyone Else Floating in This Void:

I see you. The way you pinch your skin to feel real. The dread of mirrors. The guilt of “checking out” during your kid’s birthday. You’re not a ghost. You’re not crazy. This is your survival mode—clumsy, cruel, but temporary. We’ll find the volume knob someday.

Vent Over. If you’ve ever dissociated so hard you forgot your own name, drop a 🌫️ or scream into the comments. Sometimes existing is exhausting.

Edit: To whoever reported this to Reddit Cares—thanks, but I’m not suicidal. Just… not here.

Comments (Example Engagement):

“Once dissociated through my own graduation. Family thinks I’m ungrateful. They don’t know I wasn’t even IN the room.”

“The mirror thing??? I avoid them like they’re cursed. Solidarity.”

“Told my therapist I feel like a Sims character. She didn’t laugh. I died inside (again).”

Throwaway because I don’t trust myself to remember this password tomorrow. The DID Workbook is a Therapeutic Tool for Managing your Dissociation System . __ Credit : S.VT

[jupiterhours]

Scorpio Rising: from a scorpio rising

this is my struggles as a scorpio rising, libra in 12H.

just highlighting some experiences that I don’t see many astrology accounts discuss when talking about scorpio risings. It sometimes seems like they haven’t read a single thing about this placement and i don’t relate to most of what they are saying; do take in account that i have a 12H scorpio mercury, and 11H libra mars (due to my rising being at 5°) that may hinder my experiences. (this is unedited and unrevised btw don’t flame me, just my thoughts on screen)

-inability to maintain/create friendships

i find this a hit or miss. most of the time it is really hard to make and maintain friendships and i’m not sure why. i find most of them have so much to say about my looks and how i present myself. they are far more worried about these things and how others perceive me than im worried. i find they try to be controlling of it like, “don’t do this around my parents, they don’t like it” as if i am not an adult? or they don’t say anything but stare at parts of your body that you’re insecure about. like… i can literally see you staring at my thighs, do you have something to say?? seems like a lot of people want to paint you as the bad guy. they say that you are hurtful in your actions but never elaborate.. lots of projection. they treat you like shit and the minute you turn your back on them or give them even the tiniest flick back of what they’ve done to you: all hell breaks loose. on the other hand, they become OBSESSED???? why are you still following me after i’ve removed you form socials; why are you calling me after telling me you never wanted to speak again 5 years ago?

-Never letting anything go: ever.

i honestly hate this aspect of scorpio placements (i have many) i cannot seem to get over anything that has happened to me literally ever. sometimes it feels good to hang onto that kind of pride of knowing when someone did you wrong, other times it’s very hindering in growth and healing. you can 100% know that everything is okay, you’ve gone over it with a therapist/friend/journal etc and STILL have it affect you DAILY if anything it just festers and boils underneath, making you a very mean person who you don’t want to be sometimes.

-The craziest dreams!

why do i involuntarily astral project in my sleep???? probably my mercury sitting in its little 1° in my 12H but maybe, MAYBE other scorpio placements can agree, i know pisces placements do too bc well duh 12H… but it’s a very hard thing for me to grasp my brain around. why do i know things in my sleep, why do i SEE things happen before they actually happen. i have dreams about celebrities and the people they know and their business before it’s even public, MONTHS before anything is public and it’s so fucking scary to experience. like why do i know what a sports player’s new gf looks like before they’ve broken up with the current one? i don’t know these people! but somehow i just am given this information. it feels like a curse sometimes, to know but to not have any real connection to speak out about it. i’m given information in metaphorical terms sometimes. and sometimes the people in the dream are helping me to wake up? i feel alone in this one so if anyone experiences it to this extent PLEASE dm me! i am so curious!!!!

-not knowing how to distribute energy efficiently

i find it hard to be able to focus my energy into certain areas. like how do i order these tasks/items of importance, how do i know what is worth my time. i feel like our 12H being in libra, the scales just dramatically bounce back and forth and it affects our mental state, this also might just be my libra mars in affect so i don’t have too much to say on this. but it feels like the scorpio risings i’ve met irl have this horrible sense on when they are putting too much time and effort into something that won’t flourish (including myself) we have been creating this false image of the end result and we work diligently to get to it, thinking the interruptions are a part of it since we experience that ALLLLLLLLL the time as the placeholder of death and rebirth. but once again, might just be my detriment placement of mars..

well that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. maybe a pt.2 if i think about it some more but yeah:)

[crookshanks23]

The Wizard Steel

While I haven't gathered all my thoughts, I have gathered some of them. And boy do I have thoughts.

There are a couple questions that I'm trying to put together, and maybe by just putting them out into the world, y'all can help me.

What exactly does Steel know about Eioghorain and what happened with Soft and Stone? (Involved in these are me trying to piece together a timeline).

And did she know about the experimental shit that Morrow was doing?

Full explanations of where my brain is currently at under the cut.

I'm going to start with the second - Steel certainly doesn't seem like she knows what's going on with Morrow. Accom is "out in the fringes" as it were, and is connected to the Imperium, not the Citadel specifically. And that's what I had always assumed. Her surprise and outrage seemed genuine. But I will say that she said that they would "dismantle" the derrick, not destroy it. We know that she's not one to leave information on the table. She wants to study Ame's curse, she puts the Geass spell on Suvi, etc.

In the Fireside Chat for episode 47, Brennan remarks that it was important for the audience to not just see Steel as a leader, but as "a weapon" and "a special project" unto herself. He remarks, as her,"I have achieved the utmost limits.. I'm the one who signs off on the experimental spellcraft. I'm reading the finished spells. That crosses my desk for sure. Yeah, but you should also still have a sword. That's how much killing we need you to do."

And my brain went. Oh no. She must have known about Morrow then. But maybe not - he's not Citadel after all and it certainly doesn't seem that way.

To my first question - based on the information we have, here's what I know.

Suvi's parents died in 1656, which is the summer she spent at Wren's.

Steel doesn't become the Sword of the Citadel until 1664.

The campaign is currently happening in 1670.

This tells me a couple of things: 1. She didn't have her current station when all the shit went down with Eioghorain and Soft and Stone and the Acadetor. And it tells me that she didn't immediately ascend to that position upon their deaths or anything. 2. Interestingly, she hasn't held this position for very long.

Here are things I'm still curious about:

How Steel got her scars - we know that she got them that summer

How Eioghorain "betrayed" Soft and Stone. He says that he did, but not how, nor what really happened to them. Neither does Steel either - just that they were double agents.

Steel's full version of events as related to Soft and Stone. Clearly this was not a simple thing - she was left at Wren's for a full summer.

Ultimately, here's my take on the Wizard Steel, based on the little backstory we have of her.

She was taken from her family as a young girl to the Citadel based on her talents and wants nothing more than to give back to the institution that has given her everything. She was devastated when she found out that the League of Whispers was in fact, sanctioned, and not that she was saving her home. She approaches life with the things she can do for the Citadel, which Wren confirms for us - it seems her other relationships come second.

I don't think she's a villain at the end of the day. I do think she cares about people. But ultimately, I think she cares about the Citadel more. I understand why people hate her - she's our stand-in for the Citadel itself, which is not a great entity and the arm of an empire. But I appreciate that it's more complicated than that. She's just a person making her way in the world in a way that makes sense to her. And sometimes that's not great when you've been shaped by a problematic institution.

I'm really curious what her conversation is going to look like with Suvi in episode 49. Who knows, I may have to come back and make some addendums after.

[theblasianwitch]

@creatingblackcharacters Is currently hosting an event for Black History Month. And I for one am so for it!!

Please have a look if you'd like to learn more about their challenge and participate

Not sure who to tag as I'm not sure how many people I know on here are artists or writers, but if you make things of any kind you can still participate. @crazycatsiren @thecomfywriter @venusrrvelez

For my contribution (the word feels wrong but my brain doesn't know what word to use at the moment): Szar Rei Ra, Jay Benu, Anthony Benu, Bora, Fiona Ra, and Xana.

In my series "Different Yet Same" I have many characters of varrying backgrounds. Everyone's background, upbringing, family history, and culture are as diverse as they are. I'm going to describe all of them, but put certain emphasis on one's I feel embody Black History and have something to offer in terms of being more culturally sensitive and understanding.

Szar Rei Ra is the main male character in my story. Without spoiling too much, he is a descendant of the Egyptian God Ra and has a heart for the people that was noticed and taken advantage of. Realizing and breaking away from that leads him into making a community of diverse individuals to help him with his role as an important figure for the future of the world on a whole.

Fiona Ra is Szar's older sister who was quite literally bound to the body and whims of a man via a curse placed by their older brother. She was released once the old patriarchal system was destroyed and is now trying to live life and use her divinity to help others while recovering from her trauma.

Jay and Anthony Benu are a married gay couple. Jay is from Libya and Anthony is from a secret society deep within West Africa. The creatures they are are based off of are from various African mythology but would be recognized, I hope, by my future readers from certain pop media of the 2000s where these creatures were white washed and Asian coated. The creatures they are heavily impact their outlook on life as Jay is more protective and pessimistic and Anthony is a symbol of life, prosperity and safety and is very optimistic. They serve as a hidden Easter egg to educate others on the origins and true nature of the creatures they are.

Bora is an intersex demi god who's upbringing led them to isolate themselves from society. In my second book they are forced to face the fact that they are one of the few gods on earth allowed to actually do anything for the people who have and still are suffering from the African Slave Trade and African Diaspora. The second book is very heavy on humanity suffering the consequences of their actions via divine intervention and having to come to terms with what they do and a need to change.

Xana is a North African bouda, a hyena shifter of African folklore and mythology, sometimes called a werehyena. Her story is part of the second book as well. Hyenas are a very female led and dominate species so her character and her people are used to show the determination and strength of Black women and just how much women do for society. Her people are one of the few matriarchal societies throughout the series.

I do hope people give my story the chance when it's first book is released in April. As a mixed race person who has suffered from all ends of my spectrum it serves to show just how connected we all are and to remind people of the humanity that exists within all of us. "There is nothing in this world that humanity hasn't done to another human." That is a quote that has stayed with me throughout my life as it is repeated quite a lot by my mother whenever injustice happens. World history, TRUE world history proves that and shows why so many people seem afraid of another set of people. Fear drives people more than anything, but we should not need to fear each other because we all bleed red; we all live on the same earth; we all are capable of the same emotions and therefore capable of both love and hate. All my life I've chosen love and only suffer from those who don't.

[britcision]

I’m not gonna lie, I fundamentally don’t get people who can be put off from creating things if they don’t get enough “engagement”

(Comments, likes, whatever)

And it’s not because they’re wrong or there’s anything wrong with liking or wanting to connect over your creations

There isn’t, and I can be motivated by engagement! I see comments and shares and I like to do more of that thing!

But. I can’t be demotivated by a lack of it

I don’t care if something I write gets zero kudos or never has a comment on it. The only place I’ve posted some of my better art was on Redbubble because I wanted a sweater

And it’s basically because every time I see people talking about how it doesn’t feel worth it to do a thing anymore because they’re being ignored is “oh right you get to choose what you make”

Cuz. Uh. That. That’s not exactly the process for me.

And I think that people who do probably have a much more intentional and well thought out creation process! Like people who can do outlines and story boards and multiple drafts and shit

I have at best a nodding familiarity with outlines, and I never met the rest of ‘em

I don’t make things for other people because I guess I am a selfish bitch? No one can make me want to write anything less because I’m not writing it for anyone else

I write for me, for the things I want to read. I share it because I like sharing, and if you all enjoy it too that’s great and we can go feral! And if you don’t, I still wrote it for me

I can still go reread it

That’s my goal

And yeah learning to art really brought this home for me because when I draw a thing there is literally no step in the process where I consider “should I post this”

I finish it, I look at it, I decide I like it, and. It. That’s it, that’s done now. Saved. Maybe sometimes shared if I have a specific reason to?

(But I also really don’t draw unless I have a specific reason to because aphantasia I just don’t think in images so it’s not like you’re missing much)

And I like the engagement too! I love getting to gush with people over the things I love, which is why I write in the first place!

I don’t think not posting is exactly a step the writing process can have for me anymore? I just… I guess I get thinking about it when people are feeling bad for the lack

(And I think it’s probably also to do with the dominant fandom culture I grew up with being “don’t like don’t read, flames will be used to toast marshmallows”)

Because fundamentally I feel like the difference is that those people are writing things and drawing things and making things because they want to, and they want to connect and have that work appreciated by others

Whereas I really am just a little fucking cursed idea fountain spewing whatever the fuck comes out of my brain in every direction imaginable and I am having a fantastic time doing it

I don’t care if anyone else shows up to the bukkake it’s just gonna happen anyway so it’s everyone else’s fault if they get wet

[courtkossai]

I am confused about physical nonhumanity. I am autistic so I am sorry if this comes off as blunt or rude. I am attempting to be sincere and ask a genuine question so I can learn.

I am wondering, how does physical nonhumanity work? Maybe it is just because I am autistic and enjoy categorizing but to me if a creature has human features such as human organs/skin/brain/etc, then that means the creature is physically human.

So how can you be nonhuman but still have those features? Do you literally see yourself differently when you look in the mirror? Ie, literally with eyes not seeing human features, and/or believing you do not have human shaped hands/feet/hair/organs. Or is it a mental thing of believing you have those features, but not associating those features with humanity?

Sorry if I am completely wrong in my assumptions. Your blog seemed nice and I was hoping you could help, because I cannot seem to find information. Sorry if this is rude. Again, this is very genuine question and not meant to be anti-physical nonhuman.

not rude , appreciate want to understand ! but , answers to this will be different for different folks .

some folks experience as veil , in magical sense - there is true body , and then magic which wrap around to hide . others experience as sense that human appearance is some form of experiment or curse , something to take away from home among fellow creatures-of-type . others still see as expression of family history - say , great grandma have love affair with handsome elfin prince .

certain experiences tend toward magic and religion , others brand as delusion , but kossai feel this is less important to hash out so long as one do best to understand limits , needs , and safety . 

as for kossai in specific ... this dive into parts of religion and spirituality , for sure . 

what most people see as " physical world " is just one of many potential realms . each realm is physical to inhabitants , but effectively non-physical to those outside . picture this to be cake of sorts , where each layer of cake is unique realm . frosting hold these together as one whole cake ( world ) , but also prevent direct contact . 

so - do not like to share deepest details , but in short , this body which kossai use and inhabit receive faerie claim and blessing , with dual presence among both humans and faeries . 

with that dual presence , could say sort of twofold physical faeriehood . out here where humans live , kossai appear human . even so , actual makeup of this body is ... weird , to say least . best like to describe as if faerie materials on human blueprints - able to get job done technically , but not always very well . 

of course , understand that is headscratcher to some people - if appear to be human with disabilities , then why say anything else ? and of course that is legal necessity to say sometimes , because of how systems design . but even that in mind , body of kossai also do go through faerie cycles and functions not in experiences of humans at all , aspects which follow moons and seasons and weather cycles , as well as have connections to faerie realm senses and faerie magics . 

still , again this body do look human to those who see . faeriehood do not grant magical control over this form , even if sometimes truly wish could ! would have so much fun switch hormone system back and forth and sprout wings - but even without such abilities , people in know can recognise as faerie . 

then as other half of that duality , body among faeries and in faerie realm is more obviously faerie - persona which represent in art is current resemblance . kossai do not see these features in mirror , and even phantom feelings can be hard to come by . aim to strengthen connection to faerie realm senses so these might come easier , but this in self is not easy task unfortunately . 

hope that all make some kind of sense - kossai grow up with paganism , so these lines of thoughts very natural , and sometimes not sure of what might pass right over anyone else . :)

( OK , well , of course paganism can mean great many things . but not really have any name more specific - learn of faeries very early , learn of realms beyond , and learn to ask questions , discern , and build understanding ever since . kossai do not speak for all paganism , etc etc , disclaimer over . )

[sentfromwolves]

◈—⌈ SENTFROMWOLVES ⌋ writeblr introduction ²⁰²⁴

Hi everyone, and welcome to my writeblr 2024 introduction. My name is Eran (they/he & freshly thirty) and I've been on writeblr for awhile, so you might've seen me around. ( •̀ ω •́ ) This is my yearly post to introduce the projects I'll be working on this year, what I write, and who I am. I'll be keeping it short and sweet.

I'd love to meet more writers this year, so if you write any of the following, or just like these genres, or even just wanna shout about ocs together, come holler and I'll give you a follow!

◈ — sci-fi and fantasy of any kind! cozy fantasy, romantasy, epic fantasy, space opera? this is my bread and butter, and I love shouting about it from the rooftops with others! ◈ — found families, ot3s, complicated soulmates. I am almost always writing about soulmates who have either killed each other at least once in the past or are planning some sort of murder. Complicated relationships, especially found families that aren't all rainbows and butterflies, are right up my alley. ◈ — queer and trans protagonists, large queer casts! all of my wips feature trans/nonbinary leads, and I'm always looking for more queer writer friends to connect with! ◈ — hope at the end of the tunnel, but hell to get to. I write stories with hopeful endings, with the sun on the horizon, with the promise that something better might now at long last be on the way. I love seeing characters get put through hell, but I love it even more when they make it to the other side. (if you write tragedy though, please know I will still cry on your doorstep if you'll have me) ◈ — corruption arcs, redemption arcs, sometimes both! Deeply nuanced characters with messy attitudes, and even messier actions. I'm just as equally obsessed with cool worldbuilding as I am with character-driven things, and I will yell about ocs all day, and maybe draw them too >:3 ◈ — big, epic, and sweeping worldbuilding! I am a huge fan of delving into the worldbuilding aspect of my wips. I love building magic systems, cultures, geographies, and more. One of my 2024 projects is doing a worldbuilding experiment blog at some point. I am always down to clown over worldbuilding, whether to sound board or just holler together!

There's a lot more I could say here, but this post can only get so long! Σ(っ °Д °;)っ my dms are always open, and I will follow back most of the time! But just to get all of the basics outta the way:

◈—« here's a quick and dirty rundown of how I work! »—◈

➺ I interact and follow from @calamityeden, so if you see that username, it's just me.✌️I am most active on discord, and if we become friends, you're more than welcome to ask to add me there. ➺ I am open to being tagged in writeblr games! Just know that I am not online all the time, and might be slow to respond to them. 🐌 ➺ My ask box and DMs are open, just please be respectful. I love meeting new writers and talking about projects! I am happy to chat and make new friends. You're always welcome! 💌 ➺ This is a strictly 18+ writeblr. Please DNI with me if you are a minor and respect my boundaries.

🪄You can find my core tags here under my writing and my graphics, as well as writer reminders, game train and catharsis. (❁´◡`❁) And now onto the fun part! My 2024 main project line up!

I have my main four listed here that you'll probably hear me yelling about pretty consistently, but I've also got a lot of other projects rattling around in my brain. So if you're ever curious about a project that's not here, feel free to yell at me about it! >:3

Genre: Dark Urban Fantasy Standalone.

Status: First Draft Complete (117k)—Revising for beta round one.

There's a clock tattooed on Nemesis's wrist, and when it reaches midnight on his 21st birthday, it will kill him. It doesn't help that his mom is the one that cursed him, and the demon currently possessing his car ate her before Nemesis could convince her to break the damned thing. Thankfully, Judge came prepared with an alternative: help him break into a mythical living city and steal its heart, and in return, he'll shatter Nemesis's curse for free. Accompanied by a three-headed hellhound, a haunted holy sword, and an excommunicated exorcist, Judge and Nemesis set their sights on an impossible heist. But the closer Nemesis gets to the heart, the more he begins to realize that he isn't the only one under a curse. And if he doesn't find a way to break Judge's soon, his own life will be forfeit as well.

Genre: Space Opera

Status: 2024 zero drafting from scratch

Two hundred years ago, humanity expanded to the stars only to find a cosmos filled with graves. But then their children began displaying the strange ability to commune with the alien ruins scattered across the planets, waking ancient, extrasolar mecha from their sleep, and turned the struggling colonies of space explorers into the fledgling galactic nation of Sol Galatea.  Now, Wren Akane is on the run from the whole galaxy, wanted for the strange alien powers throbbing through his veins. His luck runs out when he accidentally awakens an ancient Relic in the desert of his planet, only to be embedded with the memories of its last pilot and the revelation that the war that littered the cosmos with graves is far from over. But no one believes Wren when he tells them that continuing to wake the Relics will bring the hostile alien empire that destroyed them back to Sol Galatea’s doorstep. Only Wren’s rival pilot, Marek Khalid, seems interested in a word Wren has to say. But Marek doesn’t want to save Sol Galatea. He has big plans for what to do when the aliens arrive, a rebellion to lead, and if Wren isn’t on his side, he’s in his way. With time running out, Wren must soon decide how far he’s willing to go to save the people that never tried to save him—or if Marek is right, and he should let the stars burn instead.

Genre: Adult Romantasy

Status: First Draft (1k/100k)

Once a year, Celestials from all across the Lumina Kingdom gather together for Eventide, the season of courtship, hoping to win the hand of the most eligible star at court. Sirius knows the game they play all too well: by day, he is the forgettable, miserable daughter of the Lumina Family, least of his seven siblings and wanted only for the royal blood running through his veins.  By night, however, Sirius is the Starweaver—the mysterious dressmaker taking the kingdom by storm. Everyone wants to know the identity of the one responsible for elaborate outfits that turn even the quietest Celestial in the room into the star of the show, outshining even Sirius’s luminous sibling, Diana. When the infamous King Beyond Midnight arrives with the intent to wed Diana, Sirius finds his secret in jeopardy when the condition for their hand in marriage is a simple challenge: reveal the Starweaver's true identity. There’s no outsmarting Octavian for long, and soon, Sirius will have to make a choice: give up on his passion and stay hidden forever, or risk everything to stay true to who he really is.

Genre: Second World Urban Fantasy

Status: Outlining

Something changes the day that Nakano Touya returns to the crumbling city of Soma Lux. It starts with voices in the radio static, blurry figures caught on camera, always out of focus. When a monster crawls out of Touya's television screen and eats him, the last thing he expects is to find a strange, shadowy otherworld lurking on the other side. But his biggest problem isn't the monsters of the otherworld that want to eat him, or the talking cat that saved him, now living in his apartment without a care in sight. Soma Lux is experiencing a strange new epidemic—one that Touya is completely unaffected by. But when his half-sister falls comatose, Touya knows he has to get to the bottom of it all to save her—and find out why he's the only one immune. Accompanied by his jaded ex-boyfriend, Touya’s nosy classmates, a part-time fortune teller, and a cantankerous old hag, Touya dives into the murky underbelly of Soma Lux, where the realities have begun to bleed together between his world and the next. 

That's all for now! >:3 Here's to an amazing 2024! (also my actual blog is a mess right now please do not mind it ksjndfskfn)

[miwhotep]

After letting it sink, I finally decided to write my little, not-so-professional review about the Sherlock & Co. Milverton adaptation. (Yes, this is one of my non-Moriarty the Patriot focused posts - but a Milverton fan gotta do what a Milverton fan's gotta do. Anyway.) SPOILERS!

Milverton here has a news agency and now he blackmails an activist, Evan Brackwell with the photos that his daughter made who took pictures about herself lying naked on a conservative politician's grave in the cemetery. Evan Brackwell ends at Sherlock and asks him to solve the case.

Milverton's character. He was decently played here, I've seen better Milvertons but he did the job here, too. He was slimy enough, but maybe he should have bathed in his own sliminess more. (Tho, when he joked on his "devilishly handsome face" - that's something Moriarty the Patriot Milverton should have said, and I am hella sure I used this in fanfics before) Still, I am only nitpicking here. Milverton was fine. And I really love that he got connected to the media world again, hacking and storing information, even using deepfakes sometimes to create blackmail material. A modern era Milverton is really terrifying.

The negotiation scene. It happens in a bar and ends with a punch in Milverton's face. (Well, John wanted to use the chair in the canon as well, sooo...) I've seen the negotiation scene better too, but my main problem was that it should have been longer. Sherlock already broke in to Milverton's house and Milverton knows about that, he even mentions it. (Idk why, it must be my cursed shippy brain what is rotten since I first thought of a Milverton/Sherlock when I was a child, but talking about that break-in felt like a drunken lovers' quarrel) I love that Milverton is totally fine with the role of the "slithering serpent", he even ends up calling himself like that. And it's also good that Sherlock didn't miss saying the "Do you feel the creeping, shrinking sensation when you stand before the serpents in the zoo..." speech. A Milverton adaptation without it always feel like they miss out something important.

And now we get to the best part - the other break-in. Usually, the negotiation scene is my favourite, but here, it is the break-in. It was mindblowing and hilarious. Everyone wants to rob Milverton on that night. Sherlock and John is disturbed by Milverton and Irene Adler who comes back from the opera. Milverton seems to be actually into Irene Adler (okay, who wouldn't be into Irene Adler?). Milverton has a drive full of information on Moriarty, Irene wants that. She stabs Milverton in the stomach, takes the drive and calls the ambulance out to him while John and Sherlock listens from the wardrobe. I still don't know how to feel about the stabbing, honestly. I don't like when Irene ends up being a criminal (hi, BBC Sherlock), I would have felt better if she just knocks Milverton out. (By the way, this is not the first time Irene and Milverton are somehow connected, see Kabukichou Sherlock.) But thanks to that stab, I got the most hilarious scene I've ever seen in a Milverton adaptation - John insists that he will go and give Milverton medical help and even makes Sherlock help. Here, John really feels like a doctor, not letting anyone to just bleed out, even if that one is Milverton, someone he hates. (And John calling Milverton Charles to somehow calm him down - that made me wanting to ship Milverton/Watson. If a fanfic happens from it, humanity, please, forgive me.) John and Sherlock leaves, Milverton is on his own, waiting for the ambulance and there comes Moriarty to kill him. (I said that everyone wants to break in on that night, they didn't want to throw a Milverton is dead afterparty?) Milverton calls Moriarty James before he dies. So they are on first person terms. That's the second thing I don't know how to feel about. I don't like Milverton and Moriarty getting connected, Milverton is threatening on his own, he doesn't need Moriarty's back up. (And I am that one Sherlock Holmes fan who was never a fan of Professor Moriarty's character in the canon. At least, the one thing I absolutely LOATHE in a Milverton adaptation didn't happen - Sherlock killing Milverton. That is always so lame.)

With all the nitpicking I have, I really loved this adaptation. I think the Sherlock & Co. one is my favourite from the Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton re-tellings (the less faithful adaptations, like BBC Sherlock, Elementary, Moriarty the Patriot, Kabukichou Sherlock etc). I will definitely listen it again in the future.

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Mar, ma lovee <3 I love how your fics sprawl as much as your mind when we talk. Genuinely. I enjoy the amount of detail you put in, and your big enthusiasm and your wit. For nice ask week I wanted to ask you: What is a scene you would tweak JUST A LITTLE from Lone Star? Not rewrite but go: well a sprinkle of that...

Michelle, mi love!💚

Thank you so much this means a lot! I still want to work on my writing being more easy on the palate haha but truly it means a lot when people say that these things are also what they like about my writing because they're also what makes it me! I love your brain too, and you already know I'm obsessed with your writing haha! After all I wrote a whole 15K fic praising it almost literally to the moon (🌕 🐺) 😬

For your question!!

First off, a lighthearted one: EVERY TIME A CHARACTER DRINKS SOMETHING OUT OF A CUP I Would Put Something In That Cup !!! 👇☕️

This a thing I think about in every show or movie. It must be the easiest thing for the prop department to put some water in that coffee cup and have the actor take an actual sip! And it's such an easy way to make the scene more believable. The fake slurp and light weight of the cup in their hand and the quick swallow of clearly nothing takes me out of the moment every time. Sorry if I have now cursed you with also noticing this haha!

Another thing, and people are allowed obviously to disagree with me here, but it always irked me a little how the Iris scene in the loft was done. For me it comes off as out of character for TK to make The Eyes and get this offended/annoyed with Iris. I like that the episode shows he still has past insecurities in his relationship with Carlos that are being confronted by the impending wedding, and I too like the hc that TK is impulsive with his emotions and sometimes reacts dramatically. And of course he is valid in being a little offended! But to me TK is such an empathetic person, he has a job where he would deal a lot with patients with mental health struggles, and he has experience with mental health issues himself. I actually also think TK would find it funny and delightfully shameless instead giving the 'Ookayy' and side eye when Iris empties the snacks into her bag.

And speaking of that, and again, I'm no expert in schizophrenia so Please Anyone tell me if I am wrong, but I don't think this scene was very kind to Iris or to people suffering from mental illness. I like that she is quirky, but it feels like the quirkiness is layed on a little thick and mostly is connected to her illness/medication in a way that feels a little off to me. I would have liked her ‘quirkiness’ to be separate from her illness, and for the expression ‘no filter’ to be represented more realistically. TK reacting the way he does only serves to make the whole thing come off a little ableist to me. Don't even get me started on her slapping Carlos.. I wasn't around when this aired so haven't seen the discussions of this there might have been and I am open to changing my mind of course but this is what I feel about that scene!

Anyway it isn't even the conflict after that I have issues with I actually really love that. I love that TK is insecure and frustrated and seeks Iris out with good intentions and that he doesn't get to explain himself and that it ended well and with Iris being fine, because Carlos is caught up in being so worried and in his past guilt, that he just gets mad at TK for breaking their agreement and leaves instead of talking to him.

I love that it shows that Carlos road to learning to let TK in and asking for help instead of feeling like he has to 'fix' everything himself leads to him getting kidnapped. And as I said I love that TK's past insecurities are brought forward by Iris even though he was so supportive when Carlos first told him about her.

But yeah that scene in the loft I would have made TK kinder and Iris written in a way that was kinder to her and represented her illness better!

[umadosedepascal]

MASTERCHEF FAIL | Pedro Pascal x f!reader | One shot

Written by Santa Trindade

Banner: @ithedevilsbaby

Made in Brazil

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: With a busy schedule, Pedro finds some time to spend with you. You promised him to cook his favorite food. Maybe things get out of hand and dessert comes before dinner.

wc: 4.7k

rating/warnings: [no minors][sex in the kitchen][unprotected PIV][smut][first person][oral sex][f receiving] [m receiving][Pedro a little dom] [curse words] [fingering] [daddy kink] [chocolate in sex]

Weekends are always a box of surprises, I never know if he will be available, in the middle of so many jobs.

I understand when he needs to be away, sometimes we can see each other only in the middle of the week, a quick date, but as a good surprise, here I am.

I pick up my phone in the middle of the bed sheets and see that it's 7:32 p.m., it's Saturday, it's cold and there's a light rain, the day flew by.

Whenever we decide to watch something together, we spend more time trying to choose a movie than actually watching something, and when we finally choose and finish watching it, it's already night time.

I’m so hungry and even before I can say anything, Pedro says…

“You promised you would cook for me today, remember?“

He says excited as he pulls the duvet of my body and gently caresses my right thigh, which shivers at the same moment I feel his fingers.

“How could I forget? You spent the day saying you went shopping just to taste my food“ I answer between laughs while I pull him for a lazy kiss before getting out of bed.

“I want to see if you didn't forget anything.”

I leave the room heading towards the kitchen, Pedro comes right behind me going down the stairs yawning and commenting on scenes from the movie, laughing at me saying that he knew when I confessed to having dozed off in some parts of the movie.

I go into the kitchen and open the fridge, while I see it inside it I'm mentally checking everything I'm going to use is there. I let out a little laugh and bite my lip when I see that he bought chocolate, the same ones I once mentioned are my favorites.

“Got everything you need, babe?” He asks as he sneaks up approaching me, he runs his hand over my waist and pulls me making my body close to his chest, feeling his lips on my neck kissing me, then I answer..

“You did pretty well, you got the essential” I say laughing when I feel his beard tickle me. I turn my body facing him, pushing the fridge door with one hand.

“Now you can leave it to me”

Pedro stares at me raising his eyebrow after asking for the second time if I want help, even though I say that he doesn't roll his eyes mockingly, he gently kisses my neck and raises his lips to my ear and says…

“I'm excited to know if your food tastes as good you do.. my sluty chef.”

I laugh loudly and squeeze my hands on his chest, playing with the lace of the sweatshirt he wears, in an attempt to disguise how just a few words coming out of his mouth can affect me so much.

He lets me go and turns towards the cabinets and I open the fridge again taking everything I need, trying to force my brain to concentrate and ignore the distraction that is Pedro walking through the kitchen.

_It's a fucking distraction_

The rain is constant outside, some thunder mixes in the midst of our conversation,

Pedro tells me how chaotic the traffic was today, he tells me while he helps me get the ingredients from the pantry, so I ask him

“How was your day babe?” He responds excitedly while distributing the ingredients across the countertop

“Was amazing, got to meet a lot of great people and had a blast... Even got this jeans... Humm do I look sexy for you all jeans?”

I approach him with a jar of sugar in my hand, I say…

“You are so sweet i can't put more on you now... Let's turn on the music?”

He turns around and turns on the speaker that is on a small shelf next to the closet and asks me to connect my phone to whatever I want to hear.

*The Weeknd- After hours*

I decided to cook for him something quick and delicious, a truffled parmegiana with rice.

I ask Pedro to finish picking up the dry ingredients in the pantry while I start cutting the chicken breast and seasoning it before sealing and putting it in the oven.

“Do you want help whit that?”

He says approaching me, passing one hand on my thigh and the other hand he puts on my hand that holds the knife.

“Babe, get some wine for us? But come back here closer...”

With a quick kiss on my neck he moves away and seconds later comes back with a bottle and two glasses, he serves us and walks towards me, behind me.

He holds the glass with wine with his left hand and the right he takes my hair off my neck and starts taking light bites on the uncovered skin, he says that the smell is wonderful and that he can't wait because he is starving.

He brings his body closer to mine, resting his cheek on my head, he hugs me and stays there, just feeling my body in his and listening to the music. I can still make some movements with the knife, cutting the meat, but it's getting so hard to resist.

_He knows the power he has over me and he abuses it_

I let go of the knife when I feel his hands holding me and turning in front of him

“That chicken takes some time to cook huh?” He asks and I say yes, sliding my hand through him, landing on his cock that is already hard.

I look into his eyes and say..

“You always have to tease me huh?” He laughs and shrugs, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

“Aren't you hungry Pascal? Let me cook for you.”

He removes the cup from my hand and puts it on the side, on the countertop and presses his body on mine, his hands holding the edge of the countertop, holding me there, between him and the marble.

My eyes sweep his face, his beard starting to turn gray, some gray strands on his chin, it makes him so fucking sexy.

“I could eat another incredibly tasty thing and I would be satisfied.” He talks and puts his hands on my waist, pulling me closer, through the fabric of his sweatshirt shorts I can feel exactly the position that his cock is and I feel him pressing against me.

_Fuck_

I look into his eyes and drag my hands inside his t-shirt, feeling his hot skin automatically shiver when I run my nails through his ribs.

He is hot, I inhale the perfume, still feeling present, but the smell of his skin surpasses any expensive fragrance.

I feel his breath close to my face, I look into his eyes and there are those abandoned puppy eyes, but there is also a look that asks what my next step will be.

“What if I cook for you and then you choose whatever dessert you want.” He raises an eyebrow and smiles in the corner, biting his lip and presses the cock more on me, his hands go down to my ass and squeezing, he kisses my neck and between kisses he says

“You know I can be really picky about desserts, right?” He says and run his tongue from my collarbone to my ear biting.

“I'll give you whatever you want.” I answer and pull him by the back of the neck, gluing our lips, his stache has some wet threads of wine, his tongue tastes like wine and danger, I bite his lip and pull between his teeth and he sighs squeezing my ass harder.

“You won! But will you please let me help?” He says and kisses me again, this time in a hurry.

His lips are soft and overwhelming, the taste of wine only makes everything more intoxicating, and for a second I forget that I should be making a dinner!

Pedro squeezes my waist more, pushes me a little and presses my ass against the kitchen island, I feel the cold marble on my legs. He moves the hair that is over my shoulder and gives a soft but warm kiss, that's enough to make my whole body shiver.

He is calm and patient in all his actions, without the slightest hurry. The tic tac of the oven timer mixes the music, it makes my thoughts about dinner get lost.

_I can't think with him so close to that_

He kisses my neck and soon his breathing starts to get panting, just feeling his breath makes me horny. He presses his cock against me, every time I run my fingers around his neck I feel the pulsating vein against my skin, I run my fingers through the curls of his hair.

“Are you going to help me or make me burn the food?” I ask almost in a whisper trying to hold the moan stuck in my throat while he squeezes my ass shamelessly rubbing his cock on me.

“I'm helping babe...” He says in a fun tone of voice as his hands rise back to my waist, he lifts me up making me sit on the bench

“... I'm helping to kill time while the food is in the oven.”

He says that and runs his hands through my legs making them open automatically, he stays between them, his right hand slides from my thigh to my ass squeezing the flesh. His left hand goes up crawling down my back until it reaches the back of my neck, he holds me there completely at his mercy.

He remains calm and making every movement in such a precise way that it is agonizing, it only makes me more and more horny, he acts in such a way that it seems that he wants to taste every inch of my skin, without haste, as if the world were frozen and only the two of us were there.

Pedro slides the hand that was on my ass into my blouse, he finds my nipple goosebumps already, he squeezes and rolls between his fingers, at the same moment a moan escapes from my lips, this makes him growl low.

“We can't now Jose...” I talk trying to look like I want him to stop, but my body betrays me, my back arches while he pulls my blouse to get tangled over my breasts. The cold air makes me shiver, but his warm hands make me pulse. He bends slightly, just enough to run his tongue through my nipple, I watch his tongue rotate through my nipple and soon I see and his mouth cover my breast, sucking, delighting in my body.

_This is a fucking hot view_

“humm.. dessert cannot be served before dinner” I say

“I know babe, but can I taste just a little bit?” He asks looking at me with those puppy eyes, his mouth goes down my belly, leaving licks, but soon rises again to my breast.

“You are so fucking hot... Let me try just a little bit.”

His words cross me like a sharp knife, I feel my pussy so wet.

He gets up dragging his lips through my skin and kisses me in a way that takes the air out of my lungs. His hand is playing with the jeans in my shorts, going towards my pussy, the way he releases my lips with a bite and watches his fingers play with the button of my jeans is so hot.

He slowly opens the zipper, he looks into my eyes when I let out a moan in anticipation to feel his fingers on me

“Are you horny?” He speaks with a low laugh, he says that and looking into my eyes I feel him slide his middle finger into my panties, the feeling of his finger against my swollen clit is surreal.

'TRIIIIIIN'

The oven timer goes off, making us look scared at the oven. He laughs shaking his head and says

“It looks like dessert will really only be served after dinner anyway...”

Pedro is still between my legs, my hands holding the waistband of his shorts, ready to pull and finally feel him, with a sigh I move away from him and lean enough to reach the button to turn off the oven and tell him

“I'll let it a little bit open so we can have more time and don't burn it... The only thing I want it's you burning inside me...”

He takes the glass of wine next to me and takes a big sip, as if he were recovering, he speaks softly

“This is the way babe”

*OCT 33 - Black pumas*

Pedro puts the wine glass in place and pushes me to lie on the bench, his hand goes back under my blouse, grabbing my breasts, interspersing between one and the other, with his free hand he pulls my jeans by the legs and throws it to the floor, he passes his finger through the side of my panties, going down my groin until he reaches the center of my pussy he pulls the fabric to the side and rubs my clit and slide his finger to the end into me. The way he does it makes him use his thumb to stimulate my clit, with circular movements he looks at me, watching my whole body, smiling he watches me melt on his fingers.

I feel like cursing him screaming, but I also feel like just obeying everything he says.

He speeds up the movements of his fingers and says

“My dinner is you now! Do you understand?” I feel the orgasm coming, so close, I'm not able to answer I just fall on his fingers, cumming slowly feeling my body vibrate, my legs shake and start to close, he quickly removes his hand from my breast and holds my thigh stoping me from closing them, I just close my eyes and feel the pleasure taking over every cell of my body.

When I open my eyes I come face to face with Pedro licking his fingers with my cum, his eyes half-closed watching me, he’s lust in desire.

“Would you like something to fulfill you now?” He holds the cock drooling from pre cum

I'm not able to say anything, I just shake my head as if I were talking

"Yeah you motherfucker you did it!"

He positions his cock in my entrance and puts everything in, he moans low but hoarse, he holds my thighs and looks me in the eyes, biting his lip he starts to put slowly, he is looking me in the eye and his cock going in and out of me.

It penetrates me slowly but accurately, reaching a specific point inside me that makes me arch my back.

“like that huh?”

“Do you like it when my cock goes in like that slowly?”

“Do you want faster?”

“Say little girl.” Every word he says is a slow and lazy lunge inside me.

“Yes please fuck me! Please...”

So in a silent torture he stop moving and looks at me, his eyes pass from mine to my lips.

I try to raise my hip in the failed attempt to rub myself on it, at least one touch!

“I'm starving babe, let's eat? “ He says casually, he grumbles and takes his cock out of me and puts on his shorts again, he extends his right hand to me and smiles raising his eyebrow.

I can't believe it.

“WHAT? PEDRO? ARE YOU CRAZY? “ I say loudly in shock.

He laughs and picks up the glass, after a long and seemingly eternal sip of wine he shakes his hand ordering me and pick it up.

“I'm hungry babe... I said.”

I get up from the bench and he holds me by the waist and pulls me out, when my feet touch the floor my knees falter, but his hands hold me firmly. He brings his lips closer to mine listening to him say

“Just put on your panties, ok? I'll be waiting for you at the table.” He says and leaves as if nothing had happened.

I feel my heart racing.

“Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal come here right now! Are you insane?”

I'm alone in the kitchen, looking around not understanding shit.

_Am I hallucinating? Did he really leave me like this? _

I shake my head in an attempt to lighten my thoughts, I run my hand over my forehead and feel the thin layer of sweat that has accumulated. I still see myself naked and alone in the kitchen.

_Do you want to play Jose Pedro? Let's play then_

I put my panties on and I feel my pussy protest still wanting more, I put on my blouse and everything seems uncomfortable, I just want his cock until I forget my own name!

I serve the food, I do it in the best way I can, although I'm soaked and piss off I don't want it to be an ugly dish, after tidying up I put it on a tray and go towards the living room.

Pedro is sitting at the table quietly, he has his head turned towards the fireplace, the crackling fire mixes with the music, the room has low lighting, shades of red and brown take over the place.

I put our dishes on the table and he looks at me and gives a mocking smile.

_Breathe deeply, he's playing with you_

*Love is a bitch - Two Feet* starts playing, and that's enough to get me into the game he wants.

I sit at the table in front of him, and take the glass of wine, without taking my eyes off his I take a long sip, I put the glass back and with my index finger clean the small drop that has accumulated on my lip, sucking my finger.

Pedro lets out a small cough and straightens up on the chair, he is as horny as I am, but this provocation is hot and none of us wants to finish.

He looks at his plate and takes a bite, he chews slowly looking at me, his eyes never lose mine.

“Hmmm this is wonderful...taste amazing “ He says that while passing his finger on the corner of his mouth and licking, the same finger that was inside me a few minutes ago.

I don't say a word, I just get up, take the bottle of wine, and approach him, I bend in an exaggerated way, wanting him to see all the curves of my body, I fill his glass.

With a slap on the table he pushes the chair back and a growl comes out of his throat

“Fuck dinner! I'll eat you until you scream so loud.” So that's enough for him to get up and push me to the wall, my back hits the wall, my head hits, but I don't care.

He holds me tightly against the cold wall, his body so close to mine that we could merge.

His breathing is getting faster and faster, all my brain thinks about is feeling his cock pulsating against me. With a quick movement Pedro turn me against the wall, my back that were cold from the wall now find his chest hot, even through the T-shirt he wears I can feel.

His hands go to my hips, he pulls me making me lean towards him, he slides my panties down my legs, bending down along with the fabric, he takes it off my feet, and before throwing it in the middle of the room he inhales my smell…

With a deep voice he says slowly as he goes up until he stands behind me.

“I tried babe... I swear i tried... The food “ He talks whining, his right hand circles my body and goes towards my pussy, he rub my clit but soon slides his finger inside me again.

“Was really good... Oh fuck! But all I can think about is your pussy, let me eat that pussy babe”

I can't think of anything else, he knows that my answer will be a big yes, everything he asks I will say yes, I just need him to fuck me now, in every way he wants.

I turn my head and look over my shoulder, he looks beautiful, his eyes focused on my body, his mouth slightly open, the impression he gives is of a hunter watching the prey.

One hand he holds my waist firmly, the other he keeps it in my pussy.

“I've wanted this since the moment i walked into this kitchen, please... Please Pedro just fuck me!”

My supplication is like gasoline for the fire that is his body, he quickly moves away from my body and removes the clothes, throwing it everywhere, he holds the cock dripping pre cum and rub through my pussy, the right hand goes back to my clit, squeezing, teasing.

He grabs hard holding my waist so hard that I know that tomorrow I will have marks, his moan with every thrust is so tasty, I could hear it forever.

Pedro pulls me close to his chest, the hand that was on my waist goes up to my blouse, in a silent order I finish taking off my blouse.

He wraps an arm in my belly and a hand he rests on the wall, so it seems that his cock reaches deeper inside me, directly to my G-spot, I'm so close.

“Your food is really good babe... But damn, look what you do to me” He whispers in my ear as he gets harder and harder, our moans mixing the songs.

Pedro takes his cock out of me and guides me to the couch, he sinks his face into my neck and slide it back in, he punches it hard, it hurts a little.

He holds my left leg and puts it over his shoulder, my hands go to his back, sliding down his already sweaty, he kisses me and bites me in such an intense way.

*Post Malone- Circles* starts playing, making everything more intoxicating.

Pedro moans low and grunts in my ear, I look for his lips again, I don't want to stop kissing and biting those lips.

He feels that I'm almost cumming and so does he and that makes him intensify the thrusts, the way he holds me

_He knows, he notices my body_

“I want to cum inside you babe... But I know you like to swallow”

Our bodies slippery with sweat, he takes off his cock and sits on the couch desperately, I kneel and start sucking hard on his cock, he holds my hair and cums in my mouth, making me taste him, he moans my name softly and says “yes...yes...have it all.. aah fuck!”

I swallow every drop, I keep on my knees and watch him thrown on the couch, the irregular breathing he asks me

“What about that chocolate i brought to you?”

“Hmmm” I smile and get up, my whole body shakes, my legs are wobbly, I go to the kitchen and get the chocolate bar and then I think about melting it

As soon as I finish, I put it in a pot and return to the living room, Pedro is still thrown on the couch, the only difference is that now a joint is stuck on his lips, he raises an eyebrow for me when he sees me holding the bowl.

“What are you up to baby girl?”

I smile maliciously at him and get closer, put one leg on each side and ride on him, his hands go straight to my breasts, playing with my nipples, a caress full of lust.

None of us are satisfied yet.

I take the weed from his lips smoke it and slowly bring it back to his mouth

The way he's being on the couch is the perfect angle for what I have in mind. I dip a finger in the chocolate and feel that it is at the ideal temperature, I take my finger to his lips, and lick and kiss, removing any remnants.

He moans softly and says it's delicious.

I take more chocolate and make it drain from his neck to the nipple, I slowly lick everything, taking some bites, some light ones, some stronger ones that make him grun.

“Now I'm your dessert my little bitch?” He asks having fun with what I'm doing.

“Yeah daddy... What could be better than you with chocolate?”

I get up and kneel between his legs, putting the pot next to him, I dip my fingers again in the chocolate and let it drip on his cock, which is already hard again, I watch the chocolate drip from the head of the cock to the base. I hold his cock and lick everything, feeling the taste of his skin, the cum and the chocolate, all turning into a new flavor.

I take more chocolate and let drops spread on his thighs, lick slowly and bite, leaving a small bite mark on the left thigh.

“Suck bitch get daddy's cock clean so I can shove into that pussy huh” He says and holds my hair in a ponytail, he raises his hip and starts fucking my throat as if it were my pussy, making me choke I scratch my nails on his thighs, this seems to stir him up and makes him push the cock more in my throat, my lungs burn in search of air.

He pulls my hair, making me look into his eyes, my eyes are full of tears, he holds my neck and squeezes and pushes me to lie on the floor.

Pedro starts distributing bites over my belly, licking and biting until he reaches my breasts, he holds my right nipple with his teeth, biting until I arch my back with burning, soon he licks and sucks slowly.

His cock rubbing on my thigh, Pedro moves far enough to take the chocolate and spread it over my breasts, he sucks and licks and bites every little piece of skin.

“Damn this is the dessert I always want to eat...fuck bitch!”

He kneels between my legs, his left hand he holds my knee, leaving me more open, his right hand he holds his cock by the base and rubs the head of the cock through my swollen clit, he beats and rubs, he stays in this torture for a few seconds, almost making me cum like this

“Fuck me now!” I whine loudly

He starts slapping me, slaps me on the thighs, chest and face, so he holds my neck and says

“Beg just beg and I'll give you what you want”

“Please, I beg you please fuck me hard!” I say in the midst of moans

He slides his cock no mercy, taking a scream out of my throat, he sinks his face into my neck and moans my name in my ear, he curses disconnected things, I can barely understand when he grumbles "slut bitch bitch"

My nails scratches his back.

“Scratch me, show daddy how dirty you are...”

I moan more and squeeze my pussy on his cock, Pedro puts his hand between our bodies and begins to massage my clit, his middle finger circulating in a torturous way, without stopping to fuck.

He speaks in my ear, he moans as if he were suffering, but it is also a hoarse, almost animalistic moan

“Cum for daddy honey, cum on daddy's cock and scream, I want it!”

He orders and my body obeys, I cum strong, my back arching, my breathing heavy and difficult. He doesn't stop masturbating me, he says

“One more time babe, one more..”

My body seems to obey everything he says, I enjoy again as strong as the first.

“Now I'm going to cum inside you so you can have my cum everywhere!”

He goes harder, holding my neck and looking into myeyes he pushes it three more times and cums hard inside me, I feel the hot jets of cum filling me.

Pedro collapses on top of me, he laughs weakly and kisses my face, and gives one last lick and bite on my neck that still some chocolate.

“Let's take a shower?”

—————————————

Thanks for being here and read our delusional fics, likes are appreciate, comments even more. If you want to ask anything, blast it!

[tbalderdash-art-blog]

Going on a Riddler fanart break

I'm having a break from posting Riddler fanart to Tumblr. The backlog will still be posted on Cara and Instagram (both @ tbalderdash), and if the break is long enough for it to catch up I will post things made during the break on there before Tumblr. I will still be posting bird art here. I will still post fanart for other fandoms here if I make any (I am currently undecided about non-Riddler DC). The break will be for at least a month. I will probably come back when the OCD medication has kicked in for a bit. Thank you for all of the support on the last post. I don't want to take a break, but I have to for my mental health.

"Organised" ramble about reasoning (this is heavily influenced by neurodivergence/mental illness and I am not trying to sound like an entitled/ungrateful twat. I don't want to guilt trip anyone, please don't feel guilty):

The Timezone Curse: Tumblr has a reverse-chronological dashboard. I am British. I live earlier than the majority of the userbase. I have no idea what time to post things so they don't get buried. Recently I've tried to stop waiting for the exact right minute to post things, as it doesn't stop them from flopping.

Likes vs Reblogs, (and OCD?): I will preface this and say: a lot of this is my brain's fault. Since Likes don't do anything to spread things, my brain gets upset when things keep getting Liked without Reblogged. Unless it is from a bird fan on the fanart, better artist, or irl friend, Likes mean nothing to me. I know this is silly and irrational, but I can't help it and this is the main reason why my brain is suffering posting fanart. I hope medication will fix my feelings. Additionally, OCD brain keeps trying to find a reason: Am I dislikable? Is my art bad? Does it have no appeal? Is it aphobia? Did I do something cancellable without knowing and now everyone hates me? I (think I) know the answer is people just don't use this website that way, but my brain is never sure. This is why I don't have the problem on the other websites, every like helps the algorithm and actually means something in my brain

The combination of the Timezone Curse and lack of reblogs means my art often gets barely any reach (or reach my brain deems meaningful). I desperately want to feel like part of the Riddler fandom community. Unfortunately, due to Tumblr making me suffer (overwhelmed by compulsive need to scroll entire dash, repulsed aroace, and simple posts being able to make me ruminate unpleasantly for a long time) I find it very hard to follow new blogs or connect with people on this site. I love birds, but I need Riddler interaction. I can't look at much fandom on other sites, as they have barely any/no tag filtering, which means I will suffer if I look for him.

Why it's just fanart and not birds affected by this: I started off as a fanartist with no expectation to get big with birds, so I had a que sera sera attitude and I post them whenever they're ready, I didn't expect to get big. I am more fulfilled when it comes to the bird interest (more community interaction + every day can have different birds out there + people in my real life are interested in birds). Additionally, the bird art spreads a lot more (due to bird blogs reblogging). Bird art is my "job" art (it is where I plan to make money from) whereas Riddler is where my passion lies the most (I still love the birds but I have many other ways of interacting with them without needing art). This means I get more emotionally invested in the Riddler art than the bird art

Is art becoming a compulsion? This applies to the birds as well, but since they're "job art" it doesn't matter too much. I keep being worried about not posting enough Riddler art, and feelings of social media sometimes overshadow the joy of creating - I keep thinking about posting, rather than doing. I get too anxious to make art that is "unpostable" (eg: self-insert and him hugging), especially due to the fact I'm trying to get more professional. I feel like there's more I want to expand on this but it's been too long and I'm tired. This break might help me do more high-quality art instead of having to churn it out out of fear of everyone forgetting me.

Sorry for all the text. I don't know if I've explained everything very well but it's been an hour and usually if I post something after 8 it fails, which I don't usually want to worry about but it's a bit important for an announcement like this

[mrs-monaghan]

That anon is chatting out their ass and is clearly a miserable person, if its worth anything I think you’re an amazing person with amazing analytical skills, you actually see things and connect things not all of us can and I appreciate you for that!! Not to mention your blog brings joy to so many of us so that anon can do one 🤜🏾

Awww.. this is so sweet. Thank you. I know, anon is just bothered because I make sense and they hate it. Like I told a friend; hate literally does nothing to me. And most times I delete the asks or curse them out. But sometimes I just wanna goof around too. Otherwise aint no one chasing me out of any platform. I'll go when I want to and will stop when I feel like stopping. No one is in charge of me, but me.

But, these suckers are still welcome to try. Cowards flourish the most behind anon, after all.

As for my "analytical skills" I can't take all the credit. My friends and I discuss alot about this stuff before I come on here so its not all me. But bless ���😘

For your kind words, my favourite thing about Jikook:

We've all seen these but i personally can never get tired of it. When u think about it, antis have tried to explain away every Jikook moment under the sun. Even fucking rosebowl which just baffles me to date. But the one thing I've never seen anyone try and debunk is satellite Jeon.

I have seen vermin and Jinkookers try and steal these moments for themselves, yeah..but I am yet to see anyone try and explain away why JK always wants to be next to Jimin at all times. Or why he doesn't do it with their fav.

And u can lie to yourself all you want, but you will notice 80% of the time its like a reflex for him. Then he will change courses when another member sits next to Jimin. Sometimes he will purposefully make sure to be next to Jimin. But other times its like JK's body just automatically starts to move towards Jimin even before his brain has caught up to what he's doing.

This behaviour from both of them cements everything to/for me. I've said all this before and will say it 1300 more times. But it just does it for me. It really does. It's... everything.

Safe space. That's the word. 🥺🥺🥺

[shadyfestivalperfection]

AVENGERS: THE CREATOR

Click here to view the master list

Chapter 7: Unraveling the past

(Y/n pov)

The room fell silent as all eyes turned to me. They were waiting for an answer, for a glimpse into my past. But honestly? I had no idea where to even begin. Ten thousand years—how do you explain that? How do you share all the pain, the triumphs, the memories that still linger, haunting and beautiful, all at once?

I sighed, leaning back in my chair and taking a long sip of my beer, hoping it would steady my thoughts. This was supposed to be a fun night, a chance to get to know each other better before tomorrow’s mission. But the curiosity in their eyes was too much, and suddenly, the weight of my history felt like it was pressing down on me harder than it ever had before.

“Uhhh… why don’t you guys ask me questions?” I said, hoping to lighten the mood. “Seriously, I don’t know where to start, and like I said, ask me short questions that won’t traumatize you, mess with your brains and ruin tomorrow’s mission.”

The group groaned in unison, clearly not satisfied with my deflection. Clint was the first to break the silence.

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” he said, his voice full of curiosity. “I’ll ask the first question. How old exactly are you, and why do you look so young?”

I raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-confused. “Is that a compliment?”

“Maybe,” Clint grinned, shrugging.

I let out a quiet chuckle, feeling the weight of their stares on me as I started to answer. “Let’s see… I was born in 8000 BCE, so in two years, I’ll officially turn 10,000. So right now, I’m… 9,998 years old.”

I watched as their jaws dropped.

“I guess I look young because I became immortal when I turned 27,” I added casually, taking another sip of my beer. “I wasn’t born with immortality.”

“Wait,” Steve interrupted, looking almost confused, “so you weren’t born with the powers?”

I shook my head slowly. “No, I was. My ancestor—the first emperor of my family—did something… amazing, I guess. The gods gave my family a boon, and the 13th ruler would receive all the powers of the universe or something like that. I don’t really remember the details. No one ever bothered to tell me. All I know is that I am the 13th ruler and I have all the powers of the universe.”

That seemed to make everyone even more curious, but before they could ask more, Thor spoke up, his voice booming with genuine interest.

“Did you have a family? A husband? Kids?”

I paused, the question heavier than I expected. My mind drifted to memories long buried. Memories of a time when I was surrounded by people I loved, before the weight of immortality started to sink in.

“No,” I replied, my voice softer than I intended. “I was never married. I never needed to. I never required an heir, since I was never gonna die. I ruled my country alone. My father died in a war when I was 17, and since then, I was the empress of a kingdom the size of half of Asia—had no clue how to run it, but I did. My mother died giving birth to my younger sister, and I was the eldest. My brother, the middle child, was… well, I don’t really know what happened to him. He just left and never came back.”

Silence fell over the group again. The question had been simple, but it left so much unsaid. I glanced around the room, seeing the sympathy in their eyes, and the weight of their gaze was too much. The last thing I wanted was their pity.

“And you never felt lonely?” Natasha asked, her voice quiet, almost sympathetic.

The question hung in the air. And for a moment, I didn’t know how to respond. The truth was, I’d never felt loneliness like a human would. I’d lived so long, carried so much, and yet always kept myself distant from the world. Sometimes, yes, I had longed for connection, but I never let myself have it. Not really. The curse of immortality was that you never truly fit in.

I looked down at my drink, trying to gather my thoughts, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t go there, not now.

“Oh, look at the time,” I said, breaking the silence and standing up abruptly. “It’s getting late. We should probably get some sleep for tomorrow.” I quickly moved towards the bedroom door, feeling the tension in my chest rise. “Good night.”

Before they could say anything else, I closed the door behind me, retreating into the quiet solitude of my room. The truth was, I didn’t want to think about the loneliness. I didn’t want to think about the emptiness of centuries spent alone. I’d managed to avoid it for so long.

But as I lay down on the bed, the thoughts swirled in my mind, memories of my past, of the people I had lost, and the life I could never get back.

It was too much. Too heavy.

I closed my eyes and tried to push it all away, wishing for a moment of peace before the storm hit again.

- to be continued