#sometimes I think the anger and bitterness are gone

[myadagoat22]

The Son

Afternoon

Bo Chow’s store hadn’t changed. Same crooked front steps, same smell of pickled pig’s feet and dried beans, same rusty fan clicking above the register like it was too tired to quit. Stack leaned on the counter, hat in hand, nodding politely as Bo griped about taxes and lazy fieldhands.

And then he heard it.

“You said a dime for the jar, but I seen that same one for eight cents down by Mrs. Hughes. I ain’t stupid.”

A boy’s voice. Sharp. Brazen. Confident like he owned the floor. Stack turned just as a kid stepped into view—skin warm like pecan shell, hair coiled tight, a ragged shirt tucked into too-short pants. Couldn’t have been older than eight.

Bo huffed. “You argue with everybody like this?”

The boy smirked. “Only when I’m right.”

That smirk.

Stack’s mouth dried. The boy tossed a coin on the counter, snatched his jar of molasses, and winked at Bo like he’d just won a round of poker. He brushed past Stack with a nod, swagger in every step.

“That your boy?” Stack asked, keeping it casual.

Bo scoffed. “That boy ain’t mine. He just trouble with legs.”

Stack gave a tight laugh, but something in his gut was twisting. That voice. Those eyes. Something about the kid scraped against memory like a match trying to catch flame.

🌙 That Night — The Juke Joint

The joint was poppin'. Blues swirled in the air thick as smoke, hips rolled in time with the beat, and Stack sat in the corner nursing a drink like he was waiting on something—or someone—to make the night make sense.

He didn’t see her at first.

Yasmine slid into the booth beside him like a ghost made of perfume and heat. He turned, startled.

“Damn,” he muttered. “You still know how to creep up on a man.”

“You still know how to vanish like one,” she said coolly.

Her voice was low. Steady. But something beneath it was humming—anger, sadness, something sharp.

“You see that boy at Bo’s today?” she asked, not looking at him.

Stack froze. He didn’t answer.

“The one tryin’ to hustle molasses out a grown man.”

“Yeah,” he finally said. “Mouth on him like a razor. Reminded me of someone.”

Yasmine let out a breath—more like a laugh, but bitter, empty.

“Reminded you of yourself?” she asked, still not meeting his eyes.

Stack tensed. “Didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to.”

Finally, she looked at him. Her eyes were glinting now. Wet, maybe. Or just burning.

“You were gone seven years, Stack. You left without sayin’ goodbye. Thought you’d chase Chicago and never look back.”

“I was tryin’ to make somethin’ of myself,” he said. “Didn’t think anyone’d be waitin’.”

“I wasn’t.”

Silence.

The band started up a slow song, but it sounded far away. Stack turned to her, something tight crawling up his spine.

“Why you askin’ about that kid?”

Yasmine swallowed. Looked down at her hands. When she spoke, her voice cracked—just once.

“Because he’s yours, Elias.”

It landed like a gunshot in a quiet room.

Stack blinked. “What?”

“He’s eight. Do the math.” Her voice wobbled, but her gaze stayed firm. “I found out after you left. Didn’t know how to reach you, didn’t know if I should.”

“Yasmine—”

“I raised him on my own,” she snapped. “Ain’t ask you for nothin’. But you saw him. You looked at him. And I saw the way you looked away.”

Stack’s throat tightened. The booth felt too small. The air too thick.

“You should’ve told me.”

“Maybe. But you weren’t here to hear it.”

She stood, smoothing her dress like she needed something to hold onto.

“His name’s Caleb. He’s smart. He’s funny. And he asks about you sometimes—though I never told him your name.”

“Yasmine—”

She turned away.

“Don’t say nothin’ unless you mean to stay this time.”

And just like that, she walked back into the crowd, swallowed by the music and the lights.

Stack sat frozen. Heart pounding. Staring at the space where she’d been, the words still echoing in his head like thunder over water.

"He’s yours."

And for the first time in years, Stack Elias Moore didn’t know what the hell to do next.

(Kinda hate this but oh well)

Taglist:@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @harleycativy

Idk if you still need ideas, but what about Stack finding out he has a child upon returning the delta, a son just like his ass lol

Ima see if I can do something like this thank you 😊

[claudiajcregg]

.

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

the divorce was far messier than you would have ever expected it to be.

sae had been traveling for a match when you filed for a divorce, signing the papers with messy black ink and sleepless nights. sae didn't know about the divorce; not yet, at least. you could only hope that he responds as calmly to the situation as he usually does with any other scenario that he's ever gone through.

it was almost a shame. almost. you truly did love the itoshi last name, and you would miss having the short-tempered yet kind rin as your younger brother-in-law. but sae was not only almost never home, but when he was, he rarely ever spoke to you unless asking for a favor or question, though they were usually sentiments such as "is dinner ready?" or "i have a match in a few days."

those were the two sides of sae. completely uncaring or only caring about himself or his career. you knew that he had to love you to an extent if he was willing to stay with you for nearly six years and not divorce you or cheat on you a single time, though that was the bare minimum that one could do. you grew up with sae, and he wasn't the type to cheat on someone.

your darkly inked pen soon ran out of ink, and you sighed, staring down at the straining amount of documents you had signed. you wondered how the media would respond to this, respond to the famous itoshi sae's partner having divorced him, especially one that he's known since five years old. you were twenty-nine now. there would probably were even worse rumors about him, about how he treats others. you wanted to feel bad. you wanted to recycle each and every one of the papers you just signed.

fuck it. it's his problem for neglecting you.

it's not like you didn't even try confronting him about it. it's just that when you did, it's always the same plain excuse. "i'm busy." scribbling your name and sae's onto some more papers, you finally reached the final piece of white material. you had felt nothing this entire time, and yet suddenly, before you could even realize why or how, tears began to pool at your eyes.

disappointment is a funny thing. it's like a mix of anger, sadness, and even hints of grief. really just the recipe for disaster. and at that moment, you could feel nothing but the emptiness of disappointment and warm tears streaming down your now burning cheeks. people always used to joke that sae was both your first and last love, and you had always laughed along and eventually began to believe it when you got married. you don't think you'd ever be able to love anyone else after loving sae. you always believed this notion, this joke, to be true, but not in the bitter way that it turned out.

you had sent the documents to court the next day, and already the damage was done. you didn't want a particularly loud case; you despised media attention. but only a few hours after having sent the documents, a dreaded phone call had arrived. it was sae.

"if you think you're being funny, you're not."

you cringed at sae's voice. he was in an entirely different country, and they you could feel the shards of his icy voice slicing your heart open. "i'm not trying to be. i'm serious. we're getting a divorce, and that's final."

for a few moments, the other line was silent. before finally, sae's voice returned once more. "...why?"

and for a moment, you regretted divorcing sae. his voice itself didn't show too much emotion, but the pause from earlier and the slight crack of his voice in the beginning told you everything you needed to know. he didn't want this. he didn't want to divorce you.

"sae, you spend most of your time in another country. sometimes even in another continent. you don't even talk to me at home except for the smallest things that someone can talk to another person about. you earn hundreds of millions of yen every year for the both of us, and yet i don't feel rich."

you could practically hear sae tightening his grip on the phone. "fine. do what you want." he finally stammered, and he hung up.

it was almost as if a marble slid from your throat to your stomach, and it now lay there uncomfortably. the phone slid from your hands, and you felt tears at the brim of your lashes. no "i'm sorry"? no "i can change"? you knew that sae wasn't the type to say those sorts of things directly, but he would usually say a harsher variation of the words.

and suddenly, you remembered. you remembered that sae was the one that began to say "i'll be both your first and last love" to you. he only ever said it once, and that was from when you were kids.

he had kept that promise, but he had broken a million more.

i had "back to friends" by sombr playing on repeat while writing this lmao

[pricetagged]

butcher paper

Here's a young (maybe 19-early 20s) Simon struggling with his emotions, working as a butcher's apprentice, and fixating on the pretty student waitress at the café next door (':

Content: plus size f-presenting reader; allusions to domestic abuse (Simon's past); fat-shaming (not Simon); little bit of violence, unedited. (Link to Ao3)

He's not sure that it counts as desire. Interest. It crawls over him, makes him feel aggressive, makes him want to dig his teeth in and shake and snarl.

It's hunger.

And he knows hunger. Knows it like he knows the cigarette burns on the back of his hand. Knows it like he knows his old man's a waste of space and that he has to defend his mum and protect Tommy and- and-

He's the man of the house, only the house is rotten. Woodloused frames, crumbling bricks. Gutted. Empty shelves hidden behind broken doors. Chipped plaster, electricity cutting off. Squeaky steps that always clued them in when the old man was on a rager (not that it helped, creaking out a warning but giving no clue where to run. The percussion leading to a gallows' jig; the heavy step before the hit).

But the old man's gone now. And Simon is left trying to fill in the boots he doesn’t know how to wear. All growth spurt and gangly limbs and anger. So much anger at the old bastard. Tear-soaked anger at his mum sometimes (buried deep behind the shame that he feels when he thinks of her black and blue. Anger and shame, bitter roots that he chews at to soothe the clench of in his jaw and the grind of his teeth). And then he sees you through the window. Through the peeling CHRISTMAS SPECIAL sign highlighting ham joints and turkey and pigs in blankets.

You're so soft.

You look like you’ve lived a life well-fed and well-loved. Something round and sweet and helpless, like the puppies he and Tommy had seen dumped in the park while they snuck cigarettes and swigged from cheap supermarket cider.

And that brings him back to the hunger. He's an awkward creature, shuffling to the café where you work part-time. He's more feeling than man, all rage and appetite stuffed into a skin suit. You sense it too, nerves tugging at the tilt of your smile as you approach the scavenger that swept in to sit at the cheap plastic tables in this greasy spoon. He sits awkwardly, too, hunched over the table like his stomach is gnawing at him. Big hands snapping the disposable plastic coffee stirrers and shredding the napkins. That first day, he just stares at you. Sneers a little when you flutter over to take his order.

You slosh the tea a little when you serve it.

He sees the burn bloom, watches as you suck at the sting with plump cheeks and a rosy little mouth, and he just wants to dig in and scratch hard to see you do that again.

It becomes a habit, watching you. He finds out bits and pieces listening as he rends and chops and saws through muscle and bone, stinking of sweat and iron. You're here as a student. You're living in student digs (good, best that you avoid the up-and-downs and rough streets that would fit a student budget), and you're a real sweetheart. Old Sal who has been running the café for the past 30 years leans a heavy elbow on the display counter as he chats with the boss.

"She's lovely, taken to it like a fish to water," his raspy, smoke-charred voice is cheery as he waits for the bacon and sausages to be weighed and wrapped. "Only asked for Thursdays and Fridays off since she has afternoon classes then. Otherwise, I almost have to round her out of the shop, doing more afternoons and weekends than my own kid."

You're hardworking too, then. He wonders if it's because you're hungry too, needing something to do with your time, living on pot noodles and supermarket ready-meals like he'd heard some students do. It's strange how that thought sits uncomfortably, makes him want to hunch over you and bring you his scraps.

That week, he decides to talk to you. Only the words get caught, don't come out quite right as he stares at the way your jumper clings to the soft curves under your faded apron. When you turn around, bustling to other customers, he can't help but stare at the line of your skirt. It's real pretty, decent, sitting just above your knees but Christ, he wishes that it would roll up a little higher. That it would catch on the corner of a table or hitch up as you raise your arms and swish past with a tray full of fry-ups. He almost gets lucky as you bend over to mop up a spill just across the room. Your thighs widen as they press against the table, tights stretching thin and sheer and he just can't tear his eyes away-

(The hunger in his stomach turns hot and biting, makes his cheeks flush and his mouth dry-)

But it's ruined. Fly in the soup, hair in the dish, as you catch him and your eyebrows pinch together as you look away. There's something guarded, bitter, in your lovely eyes, and the dryness in his mouth turns wet and sour. You seem to take pains to avoid him, swapping out with Sal's son so that you can work the counter instead of the floor.

"'m Simon," he grunts as he goes to settle the bill. "Work at the butcher's across the street."

You clearly didn’t expect an introduction, shoulders relaxing and hesitant smile blooming as you give your name in return.

"Yeah, I know. Sal mentioned you a few times. He's tried to give me the rundown of practically everyone on the street, feels like."

"Y'should come in t'the shop," the invitation rushes out in a way that makes him feel clumsy. Perhaps that’s why he did it; to have you in his space, with his head and his footing right. Here, he feels every inch the artificial man. Pieced together, too big and too looming, with no help or guidance on how to talk to soft things and pretty girls.

You grimace a little, eyes focused on the till as you count out his change. "Not really on a butcher-shop budget right now."

"'S'alright. I can keep something aside for ya," he doesn't mention how it would come out of his wages. How it would come out of what he brought home to his mum and Tommy. It didn't matter, though, when he was used to going without.

"That's - that's really nice, actually," Your sweet face is glowing now, and he feels like he could bathe in the warmth of it. "Next time you come by lunch is on me."

He sees the way you tuck your chin and smile as he walks away, and that bottomless pit in his guts feels just a little more full.

(He doesn't quite catch the snickers of the boys at table three, whispering and nudging each other as you come to take their orders. This time.)

He stares more and more through the window of the shop, watching as you come and go. Watching the way you greet the regulars and skirt around the group of lads who like to linger in the evenings. There's something sharp, nasty, to the way they circle around the entrance. The way they cackle and hoot when the one with the eyebrow piercing smirks and whispers to his mates as they force you to brush past. They're a pack of hyenas, shrieking and smug as they toy with the poor little thing that's walked past their watering hole. He's seen this type before, practically grew up with them. His old man was probably one of them, perfecting his cruelty while young, cementing it as part of his nature.

It has Simon sharpening his knives while he grits his teeth. Has the boss tutting at him when he cuts too close to the bone.

He knows there's something violent in him. The old man tried to bring it out then snuff it out, getting scared when the knife that he sharpened was able to cut him in return. He's no stranger to bloodshed. No stranger to the calloused, deprivation-dimmed apathy that breeds like algae in the environment where he was forged. Dripping, slimy, suffocating.

Doesn't mean he likes it, though.

(He'd gone back for those puppies, you know. Felt wrong leaving them. Felt like a rebellion against his old man's sick life lessons as he dumped the box outside the doors of a local veterinary clinic).

So he keeps his eyes peeled, stakes out the café like he owns it. Stares down anyone who looks at you wrong until they look away, muttering under their breath. 'Fucking freaky dead-eyed git.' It seems to work.

And you seem to like it, sparing more smiles for him. Bringing him bigger portions than normal and topping up his cup before he even needs to ask.

"I know you've been working since seven, Simon. Gotta keep your strength up," You seem bashful as you slide the plate across, and he just eats it up.

You've been looking at him, thinking about him. It's not something he's familiar with, having someone care for him. His mum loves him, of course. Tommy too. But it’s not the same, not when it's been his job to take care of them. His job to step up to the mantle and into the shoes that his father should've filled. Watching the sway of your wide hips as he tucks into the steak and kidney pie with gusto, he feels satisfied. The hunger is there, always is, but it's not gouging at him under the skin. It's satiated, pleased. The kind of comfort that leaves his eyes heavy and his belly warm.

It's a routine you fall into, and everything is rosy-

Until it's not.

He's closing up shop, wiping down the counters and getting ready to haul down the shutters when he sees them. Those stupid pricks, travelling in their pack and signaling that their quarry is in sight. Look, there it is alone and limping and- You're in a rush, leaving later than usual and shrugging your coat on carelessly as you shout your goodbyes to Sal. You're in that skirt again, the one that makes his lower belly tighten and mouth feel dry.

"Oi, look! Dirty scrubber has her fat arse hanging out!"

It sets them off, chittering and howling as you freeze wide-eyed and lip-quivering.

"Gonna be sick, mate. Don't want to see your knickers, love. Didn't even know they came in that size."

He doesn't even see red. Doesn't see anything but your pretty, round face crumpling as you try to tug your skirt out from where it got caught under your coat.

The ringing of the bell by the door muffles the sound of the first punch. His fist crunches into that prick's nose, and he wants nothing more than to keep going until his face is little more than meat and pulp and blood. He can taste it, smells the blood in the air like a shark.

But you're watching.

"Bit bored with y'taking the piss out of her," he snarls it as he hauls the man by his jacket, shoving him hard against the wall until his head thwacks against the bricks. Easy as hauling a side of beef. "Why don't ya try me next?"

The man seems dazed, head spinning and nose dripping. His mates, too, look floored. Ready to scatter and abandon their leader to the bigger beast. Only the promise of more blood keeps them watching, feeds their nasty appetites and he's just itching to let them see. Watch what happens; it's coming for you next.

"Speechless now, eh? Had so much to say earlier," he's spitting the words out, teeth snapping as he leans down so close to the man's face that he can see how his pupils constrict. "Apologise."

And he's smarter than he would give him credit for. Smart enough to whimper out his 'sorry, sorry, sorry' as he drops to the filthy, damp pavement when Simon swivels towards the others. Something about the set of his shoulders, the way his hands and apron are splattered with the gore of man and animal, has them scattering.

"That goes for the rest of ya! Don't ever want t'see your ugly fucking mugs around here again," he spits on the ground, itches at his jaw with his wrist as he watches them run.

He can't hear them anymore. Can't hear anything over the sound of his heavy panting and pounding heartbeat.

It's cold out. He's only realising it now, standing in the December chill with just an apron over his jeans and t-shirt. It has him shaking, flexing his hand as his knuckles start to sting and swell. He welcomes it, welcomes the familiar bite as he pushes down the savage, ragged anger rippling through his chest.

"Simon-"

"Y'alright?" he cuts you off, faces you head-on.

And all the rage saps out. You're not cowering away. There's no disgust on your face. No tears or embarrassment either, no. You've got a crumpled packet of wet wipes in your hand, reaching out for him. Concerned.

"Figure you'd want to get that prick's blood off you soon as possible," you give him a sad little half-smile. "Didn't have to do all that for me, Simon."

"Yeah, didn't have to." He concedes as he steps closer to you. Crowds into your space until you're toe-to-toe and he can feel your warmth. He brushes his fingers against yours, lets them linger on your soft skin as he reaches for the wipes. "I wanted to."

-----------------------

Let's all pretend that this was okay and ignore the fact that I still haven't posted the wips that I keep going on about 🫠💖

Just a little self-indulgent drabble idea that I had today, thinking back to watching 'My Mad Fat Diary' as a teenager, feeling nostalgic ~ (The Finn-defending-Rae scene had 18yo me in a chokehold lol).

[thestarsaboveme]

this was a request from a kind anon.

summary: angst with comfort, reader and lads men having a misunderstanding because reader is overthinking that they’re cheating on her with the mc since they always spend time with the mc and spending less time with the reader.

xavier ver. | zayne ver. | sylus ver. | caleb ver.

rafayel x reader | angst/comfort

You weren't proud of the thoughts you were having.

Not when Rafayel was as breathtaking as ever, standing in the distant glow of the garden lanterns, talking to her again. MC. His voice was low, that velvet-like voice that used to make your chest flutter. Now, it curled in your stomach with unease.

He was smiling. Not the lazy, teasing one he gave everyone. But something softer. Something rare. Something that, lately, he'd stopped giving you.

You watched from a distance, the bitter ache of overthinking clawing up your spine like ivy. They stood close, too close. Her hand brushed his sleeve. He didn't pull away.

You turned away before you could see more.

-

The silence in your room was suffocating when you returned. Rafayel hadn't noticed you watching. He rarely noticed, these days.

The messages had slowed. The way he'd linger after kissing your cheek had vanished. His excuses, though charming and gilded with half-truths, always ended with the same conclusion: ''I have things to handle with MC.''

You used to trust him implicitly. But love could be fragile. Especially when the person you loved was a master of masks.

You sat on the edge of the bed and opened your message thread with him. It felt empty despite all the hearts and winks that littered it.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard.

Can we talk tonight? Please. I need to clear my head.

You sent it. Watched the little ''read'' notification blink.

And waited.

Five minutes.

Ten.

You stared at his message, bile rising in your throat.

Then finally.

Of course, cutie. I'll come after I finish with MC. It won't take long.

Of course it was MC again.

-

It was nearly midnight when Rafayel arrived.

''Hey,'' he said softly, stepping inside like the room wasn't filled with every unspoken word you'd been swallowing for days. ''You look like a storm's been living in you.''

You folded your arms, trying not to meet his eyes. ''Maybe because there has.'

He tilted his head, the teasing edge in his voice momentarily gone. ''Tell me:''

You looked at him then. Really looked. He was still beautiful in that untouchable, almost celestial way. Still the man who had stolen your heart with laughter and warmth and frustrating riddles.

And yet, right now, he felt like a stranger standing in the doorway of your grief.

''You've been spending all your time with her,'' you said. ''MC.''

Rafayel blinked. The silence dragged.

''I have responsibilities_''

''I know that,'' you snapped. ''What I don't know is wether those responsibilities come with…feelings.''

He stared, and for a terrifying second, he didn't say anything at all.

So you pushed, voice cracking. ''Are you cheating on me with her?''

The air in h´the room changed. It was like the very space between you shattered.

Rafayel didn't move. Didn't blink.

Then he laughed. Softly, bitterly.

''Oh, that's what you think of me?''

You flinched. ''I didn't want to. But you're always with her. You talk about her like she's this bright star you can't help but orbit. You disappear on me, lie about where you're going sometimes. And when you are here, it's like your heart isn't.''

His expression was unreadable. ''So you've decided the only explanation is betrayal?''

''I don't know what to think anymore!'' you cried. ''Because you won't let me in. You always hide behind jokes or silence or some metaphor I can't unravel…''

Something flickered behind his eyes. Hurt. Guilt. Anger.

''Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to tell you the truth?'' he asked, stepping closer. ''But I don't, because every time I look at you, I see softness. Warmth. A place untouched by all the filth I deal with. And I tell myself, if I keep my shadows from you, maybe I can keep you clean.''

''That's not your choice,'' you whispered. ''I didn't fall in love with a perfect man. I fell in love with you. The complicated, broken, reckless version.''

Rafayel looked down at the floor, jaw clenched.

''You think I'm in love with her?'' he asked quietly. ''Is that really what your heart is telling you?''

You hesitated.

''I think…you might be starting to wonder if you chose wrong. That maybe she's more compatible. That she's stronger, easier to share the weight with. You don't have to protect her like you protect me.''

His voice dropped. ''Don't do that. Don't turn your fears into my truth.''

''Then tell me the truth!'' you yelled, fists clenched. ''Because if you keep shutting me out, you'll lose me anyway.''

He looked at you then. Really looked. And what you saw there stole the breath from your lungs.

''Do you think you're easy to love, cutie?'' he asked, voice low.

You froze. ''What?''

He stepped closer, his voice like thunder muffled behind silk.

''Because I do. And that terrifies me.''

Your heart skipped. ''You're…scared of loving me?''

''I've never had anything I was afraid to lose until you,'' he said. ''and I don't know how to be with someone who sees the real me and stays. So I pull away before you can leave me like everyone else.''

Your breath caught in your throat.

''All that time with MC?'' he continued. ''Yes, I've been with her. Missions. Strategy. Nightmares that won't let her sleep. I help her the way I can. But it's not love, not the way you think. She's a mirror to a life I survived.''

''And me?'' you asked.

''You're a window,'' he said. ''To a life I want. And that scares me more than anything.''

Tears blurred your vision.

''You idiot,'' you whispered. ''You beautiful, infuriating idiot.''

And then you were moving- Closing the space between you, fists against his chest as the tears finally came.

''You don't get to decide you're unlovable,'' you cried. ''You don't get to shut me out just because you're scared. I'm scared too.''

His arms came around you like gravity. ''I know. I'm sorry.''

''I thought I was losing you.''

''You never were,'' he whispered. ''But I'll admit I've been making it feel that way.''

You buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling the scent of rain and regret.

''Please don't do that again,'' you said.

He held you tighter. ''I won't. No more masks. No more half-truths.''

You both stood there for a long time, wrapped in silence, until he finally pulled back enough to cup your face.

''You are not second place,'' he said. ''You never have been.''

You nodded, and something in you, something tight and aching, finally began to ease.

''Then let's try again,'' you said. ''But this time…together.''

Rafayel smiled, tired but genuine.

''Together,'' he echoed.

And for the first time in weeks, you believed him.

[moomuzan]

— 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔𝖔 𝖋𝖆𝖗

they physically hurt you during an argument , dazai , chuuya , akutagawa , angst , requested

As the fight spiraled into chaos, every word seemed like a jagged shard, cutting both of you open. Dazai stood before you, his expression carefully constructed, a facade of calm that only amplified the storm raging in the room. His words were like knives, precise and cold, but you had learned how to endure them. Or so you thought.

“You think you’re better than this?” he snapped, his voice laced with something darker, more desperate. “Better than me? You don’t even know what you’ve gotten yourself into. You’re so naïve it’s pathetic.”

“Maybe I am,” you shot back, voice trembling but resolute. “But at least I feel something real, Dazai. At least I’m not hiding behind masks and games like you.”

For a moment, the room fell silent, the weight of your words settling between you. His jaw clenched, his hands twitching at his sides. You could see it—the storm breaking through his carefully curated demeanor, the anger and fear he so often buried rising to the surface.

And then, like a thunderclap, it happened.

While his hands moved faster than his mind, shoving you back, his frustration snapped into action. The force wasn’t calculated—it never was—but it sent you stumbling into the wall with a sickening thud. Pain shot up your back, sharp and immediate, and for a moment, the air was knocked clean out of your lungs.

Defeating, merely silence followed.

As if they were still grappling with the weight of what they’d done, his outstretched hands trembled. His eyes widened, the usual nonchalance stripped away to reveal something raw, something terrified.

Hoarse, he whispered your name, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. You pressed a hand to your ribs, wincing as you steadied yourself against the wall. The ache in your side was sharp, but it was nothing compared to the heaviness in your chest, the realization that this—this person, this moment—was no longer safe.

“Don’t touch me,” you managed, your voice trembling, not with anger but with something more fragile.

“I didn’t mean to,” The man said, his words tumbling out in a desperate rush. “I swear, I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean it?” you interrupted, the words bitter as they left your mouth. “You never mean it, Dazai. But that doesn’t stop it from happening, does it?”

Dazai‘s hands fell to his sides, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of your words physically struck him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. For once, Dazai Osamu—the man who always had a plan, a clever retort, a way out—was speechless.

“I can’t keep doing this,” you said, your voice breaking. “I can’t keep forgiving you for the ways you hurt me, for the ways you make me doubt myself. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this.”

In a matter of seconds his expression shattered then, the mask slipping completely. He looked like a man on the edge of something vast and terrible, his usual bravado gone, replaced by a desperation that made your heart ache.

“You can’t leave me,” he whispered, the words barely audible, as if saying them louder might break him entirely. “Please. I don’t know how to do this without you.”

Tears spilling down your cheeks as you stepped toward the door, you whispered: “You don’t know how to love, Dazai.”

He sank to his knees then, his head bowing low as if he were trying to disappear into the floor. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice raw and broken. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to be anything but this. But I love you. God, I love you.”

You froze at the door, your hand gripping the handle so tightly your knuckles turned white. For a moment, you thought about turning back, about kneeling down beside him and telling him that love could be enough, that it could save you both.

But it couldn’t.

“I love you too,” you said quietly, your voice shaking. “But sometimes, love isn’t enough to fix the damage.”

Opening the door, you stepped out into the cold night, the sound of it closing behind you echoing like a gunshot.

Dazai stayed where he was, his body trembling, his hands clutching at the floor as if it were the only solid thing left in his world. The apartment was silent now, save for the sound of his ragged breathing.

He stayed there for hours, alone in the dark, his mind replaying every moment, every mistake, every crack that had led to this. And when the sun rose, spilling light into the room, it illuminated nothing but the hollow emptiness he’d tried so hard to avoid.

In the end, he realized, it wasn’t you he’d been trying to save. It was himself. And now, he had lost both.

,

The argument had begun as a flicker of irritation, something small enough that it could have been smothered if either of you had tried. But neither of you did. It grew, feeding on unspoken frustrations, on misunderstandings too deeply buried to untangle in the heat of the moment.

Lit only by the glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds, the apartment was dim. Chuuya stood in the middle of the room, his fists clenched at his sides, his chest rising and falling with shallow, ragged breaths. His hat had been tossed carelessly onto the couch, his hair disheveled from running his hands through it in frustration.

“I’m trying to keep you safe!” he shouted, his voice reverberating off the walls.

“You’re not listening to me!” you snapped back, your own voice trembling with the weight of the argument. “You never listen, Chuuya! You think you can decide everything for me, like I don’t have a say in my own life!”

He turned sharply, his blue eyes blazing with a mix of anger and desperation. “You don’t understand what it’s like out there! You don’t know what these people are capable of! I’m doing this for you!”

“For me?” You let out a bitter laugh, tears stinging your eyes. “You’re doing this because you can’t let go of your own fears! You’re so used to fighting everyone else’s battles that you can’t see I’m not the enemy!”

Chuuya’s jaw tightened, the muscles in his face twitching as he tried to rein in the storm inside him. But the storm was relentless, and it spilled out before he could stop it.

“You don’t get it,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “You have no idea what it’s like to carry this kind of weight—to know that one wrong move could mean losing the only person you—”

Though he cut himself off, his voice faltering, the damage was already done. The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive, and it pressed down on both of you like a tangible force.

Taking a step back, your hands trembled at your sides. “I’m not a child, Chuuya. I don’t need you to control every part of my life. I just need you to trust me.”

“Trust you?” His voice rose again, sharp and cutting. “How am I supposed to trust you when you keep putting yourself in danger? Do you think I can just stand by and watch you get hurt?”

As his anger filled every corner, the room felt like it was shrinking, the walls closing in. He moved closer, his movements sharp and unsteady, and before you could step away, his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.

The grip wasn’t meant to hurt—it was meant to stop you, to hold you in place, to make you listen. But it was too tight, too rough, and the heat of his frustration burned through his touch.

“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice shaking. “Let go.”

But he didn’t. His fingers tightened slightly, his knuckles white as his grip mirrored the storm raging inside him. He was too far gone, too consumed by his own emotions to realize what he was doing.

“Why can’t you just—” His voice cracked, and he stopped, his words hanging in the air like broken glass.

You tried to pull away, but his grip held firm, and panic began to rise in your chest. Memories you had buried deep began to surface, unbidden and cruel.

A voice from your past, cold and unyielding. “You think you can just walk away? You’ll never be free of this. Never.”

Colliding with the past in a whirlwind of fear and pain, the room around you blurred. Your breaths came faster, shallow and uneven, and the tears you had been holding back spilled over, streaming down your cheeks.

“Chuuya,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Please.”

The sound of your voice—cracked, pleading—broke through the fog of his anger. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he froze, as though realizing for the first time what he was doing.

“Shit,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. He released your wrist as though it had burned him, stepping back as if the distance could erase the moment.

Though you cradled your wrist against your chest, your body trembling as you tried to steady your breathing, the fear lingered, a shadow that refused to be banished.

Softly, he called out your name, his voice thick with regret. “I—fuck, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t—”

Yet, you didn’t answer. You couldn’t. The words caught in your throat, strangled by the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.

Chuuya’s hands hovered in the air, unsure whether to reach for you or keep his distance. His eyes, usually so fierce and determined, were filled with something you had never seen before—fear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words barely audible. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Bluntly, you looked up at him then, your eyes filled with tears, and for the first time, he saw the crack in your armor—the vulnerability you had always tried so hard to hide. And it broke him.

He sank to his knees in front of you, his head bowed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he muttered, his voice trembling. “I never wanted to hurt you. I—” He stopped, his words failing him, and he let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to love someone without breaking them.”

As you watched him, your heart ached at the sight of him so utterly wrecked. And despite everything, despite the fear and the pain, you found yourself reaching out, your hand brushing against his cheek.

Looking up at you then, his eyes were filled with anguish, and for a moment, the storm between you seemed to quiet.

“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice still trembling. “We can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep—”

“I know,” he said quickly, cutting you off. “I know, and I swear, I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just—don’t walk away. Please.”

The desperation in his voice broke something inside you, and you nodded, though you weren’t sure if it was forgiveness or hope or something in between.

But as he pulled you into his arms, his grip careful and gentle this time, you couldn’t help but wonder if the cracks in your relationship were too deep to mend. And in the quiet of the room, as the storm finally subsided, you both realized that love wasn’t always enough to fix what had already been broken.

,

Always being harsh, Akutagawa’s words were sharp enough to wound, his presence suffocating like a shadow that never left your side. He wasn’t kind, not in the way others might be, but he cared in his own jagged, brutal way—protecting you with the same ferocity he used to destroy. You were his tether, his calm amidst the storm of his life in the Mafia, the one person who softened the edges of his wrath. But even tethers could fray, and that day on the battlefield, everything unraveled.

Unraveling so, the fight was chaos, the kind of chaos Akutagawa thrived in. His Rashoumon tore through enemies like paper, his focus deadly, precise. You stood at his side, as you always did, fighting with everything you had to survive in a world that rarely spared you kindness. But the enemy was relentless, and the tide of the battle began to shift.

“Stay back!” he barked, his voice cutting through the noise. His tone was sharp, impatient, but beneath it lay something unspoken—a thread of fear he refused to acknowledge.

“I can handle this!” you shot back, your determination blazing in your eyes.

Yet Akutagawa’s patience, already worn thin by the heat of battle, snapped. “You’re a liability,” he snarled, Rashoumon lashing out in a violent arc, meant to clear the way and shield you from the enemy closing in.

He miscalculated.

Instead, the tendrils of his power struck you, slicing through flesh and bone, sending you crumpling to the ground with a scream that cut through the battlefield like a blade. Blood pooled beneath you, stark against the dirt, and Akutagawa froze, the world narrowing to the sight of your broken body lying in the wreckage of his mistake.

Afterwards, the fight ended in a blur, your enemies retreating as the full weight of his actions crashed down on him. He dropped to his knees beside you, his hands trembling as he reached out, unsure if he even had the right to touch you now. “Stay awake,” he ordered, his voice unsteady, the fear breaking through. “Don’t you dare close your eyes.”

Coughing weakly, blood stained your lips as you looked up at him, pain and betrayal flickering in your gaze. “You… you did this,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Akutagawa’s chest tightened, his breath catching as the truth of your words settled over him like a noose. He did this. To you. To the one person he swore to protect above all else.

The weeks that followed were a blur of pain and silence. You survived, but the scars—both visible and invisible—ran deep. You couldn’t look at him the same way, flinching when he raised his voice, shrinking away when his hands moved too quickly.

Trying to fix it in his own way— he muttered cold apologies under his breath, offers to train you harder so you wouldn’t need his protection, promises he didn’t know how to keep. But nothing worked. The damage was done.

One night, the tension broke.

“You don’t trust me anymore,” he said, his voice low but laced with a bitterness that cut through the room.

Slowly, you turned to him, your eyes tired, your body still healing from wounds he had inflicted. “How could I?” you replied, your voice trembling. “You’re supposed to protect me, Ryuunosuke. Not—” Your voice broke, and you looked away, unable to finish.

For a moment, he said nothing, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. Then, with a voice that was quieter than you’d ever heard, he said, “I know.”

And he did know. He knew the pain he caused, the fear that lingered in your eyes whenever you looked at him now. He knew he had crossed a line he could never uncross.

Knowing didn’t make it easier. It didn’t make the silence between you any less deafening, or the nights spent alone any less cold. It didn’t stop him from replaying that moment over and over in his mind, the sight of you bleeding because of him seared into his memory like a brand.

He still loved you, but love wasn’t enough to undo what he had done. It wasn’t enough to erase the fear in your eyes or the distance growing between you. And now, as he stood in the shadows, watching you from afar as you tried to rebuild yourself, he wondered if it would have been kinder to let you go entirely.

Yet, Akutagawa didn’t know kindness. He only knew how to hold on, even when it hurt. Even when it was the last thing he deserved.

<3

[boohorns1136439]

Learning to belong ~ poly!MHA x fem!Reader (11)

Remember when I said chapter 11 will be out next weekend, one month ago ? I am a liar, but you guys have to forgive me.

Warning: cursing (?)

Tags: Pack! Izuku Midoriya X Bakugo Katsuki X Shoto Todoroki X Kirishima Eijirou ; Pack! X fem!Reader ; Omega!Izuku Midoriya ; Omega!Bakugo Katsuki ; Omega!Shoto Todoroki ; Omega!Kirishima Eijirou ; technically Beta!Reader ; modern Au ; post-UA ; Reader has a quirk ; non hero!Reader ; smut eventually ; fem!Reader ; afab!Reader

10 <- 11 ->12

Taglist

Masterlist

The routine settled over the pack. Bakugo’s gaze was still locked on Todoroki, a quiet blaze simmering behind his crimson eyes. His nostrils flared as he exhaled sharply through his nose, muttering a curse under his breath. Then he turned on his heel and stomped toward the kitchen while the floor creaked under the weight of his steps. Only then did Izuku realize he’d been holding his breath. He hadn’t known what to expect, an explosion, maybe. A barked insult. A demand, raw and unfiltered, tearing through the tension like Bakugo always did. His blonde mate had come dangerously close to snapping more than once in the past few days. Izuku had seen the storm brewing behind his eyes, but he understood. Bakugo wasn’t just angry. He missed him. They all did.

It had been less than a month since the incident, but it felt like an eternity since Todoroki had really looked any of them in the eyes. Since their fingers found each other in the quiet, without needing words. Sometimes they didn’t speak at all. Just sat like that, fingers laced, listening to the distant sounds of life moving around them. And every time Todoroki’s thumb rubbed small, absent circles into Izuku’s palm, it made something bloom behind his ribs. Gentle, deep and steady. He missed that. He missed the way Todoroki’s smile started small, barely a twitch of the lips, and then slowly bloomed. He missed his mate’s scent too. Even that had changed.

It used to be crisp, like the first bite of winter wind. Sweet golden honey layered over frostbitten berries. Now, it clung to the corners of the room in an unfamiliar way. Weakened. Clouded and Muddied. The sweetness had gone stale, eaten away by something bitter and wrong.

Despite being lost in his reminiscence and thoughts, Izuku caught movement from the corner of his eye. Kirishima was hovering near Todoroki. He stood there for a moment, then, gently, he stepped forward and hesitantly, he reached out, offering a gentle pat to Todoroki’s shoulder, with an expression armed with an encouraging smile. It wasn’t much. The touch was clumsy, uncertain and somewhat awkward. But it was kind, it was sweet, simple, and Izuku felt his chest warmed at the sight of it.

Though, Todoroki didn’t react, didn’t lean in the touch. The hand on his shoulder might as well have belonged to a ghost. Kirishima’s hopeful smile faltered, his brows pinched slightly dejected by the quiet rejection as he withdrew his hand. Not with anger or frustration, just defeat. He lingered a second longer in the room, then pulled his hand back and walked away, retreating quietly to his room.

Almost an hour later, Izuku was still staring blankly at the corner of the coffee table when Bakugo’s voice cut through the apartment.

“Dinner’s on the damn table!” Bakugo yelled from the kitchen.

Izuku moved without thinking to the dinner table, guided by habit more than appetite. He slipped into his usual seat at the table, and a moment later, Kirishima walked in, dragging his feet and sat without a word. But no sign of Todoroki coming.

Bakugo waited exactly thirty seconds before gritting out, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Sandals thudded against the hallway floor as he left the dinner table. A few seconds passed. Then the sound of footsteps again, two sets. Bakugo returned with Todoroki in tow, gripping his wrist in a firm hold. He dragged him to the table and sat him down in a chair, and shoved the waiting plate in front of him with a hard clatter.

“Eat,” he snapped. His gaze said the rest: Don’t you dare fucking leave.

Dinner didn’t get any better after this small « commotion ». It was stir-fried beef and vegetables over rice. Nothing fancy. The kind of meal Bakugo threw together on autopilot. It smelled good and tasted even better, savory, filling, beef and vegetables coated with a delicious garlic soy sauce, but the tension hanging over the table turned every bite into a lump down Izuku’s throat, even more when he noticed that Todoroki only picked at his plate.

Eventually, and thankfully, a part of him thought, plates ended up emptied. Except for Todoroki’s, which still looked mostly untouched. Bakugo loudly put down his chopsticks, and stood suddenly, scraping his chair back with a screech. He picked up his plate and everyone’s but Todoroki, and put them in the kitchen sink.

« I’ll do the dish kacchan. » Izuku said as he got up of his chair but he was stopped in his tracks.

« Sit your ass down Deku. » Bakugo responded without looking back.

Quickly the sound of water and clattering plates filled the silence around them, no one at the table moved. Todoroki was looking blankly at the wall, still distant and cold while his food was also turning cold. Izuku didn’t dare move after Bakugo told him to sit down, and Kirishima was just sitting there, arm crossed, lost in his thoughts. The moment was broken when after a couple of minutes, Bakugo spoke up again.

“I’m done. We’re going out. »

Izuku blinked. “Wait—what? Out? Where? Right now?”

“You heard me,” Bakugo replied. “Get your gym stuff. You too, shitty hair.”

Kirishima hesitated. “I don’t really feel like going out, man.”

“I wasn’t asking.” Bakugo’s voice didn’t rise, but it hardened. “Grab your bag. We’re going.”

Izuku stood slowly, brow furrowed. “Are we training? Or—”

“Stop asking questions, Deku. Just go get your stuff »

Bakugo turned back toward the table, eyes locking on Todoroki.

“What about you?”

His tone shifted. Still hard, but undercut with something else. Not quite hope, but expectation. A challenge he didn’t expect to be met. Daring Todoroki to give a different answer than the one they all expected him to give. But his icy hot mate didn’t even lift his head as he replied.

“You guys go ahead,” he murmured. “I’m too tired.”

A pause followed. Bakugo stared for a beat, his jaw clenched tight, then he scoffed and turned away, before walking out of the dinner room.

Izuku crouched beside Todoroki, speaking softly. “Eat a little more, okay?” he said, brushing a kiss to his cheek. “And try to rest. I’ll check on you when we get back.”

Todoroki only offered the smallest nod as a response, then Izuku rosed to his feet and went in his bed room . His gym bag was already packed and waiting by the door.m so he just slung it over his shoulder and returned to the front door, where the others were getting ready.

Gymn bags by their sides, Bakugo shoved his shoes on while Kirishima, by his side moved slower with his head down and tugged his hoodie over his hair before crouching to tie his laces. Izuku followed their lead and put his own shoes own.

The three stepped out into the cool hallway, and the door clicked shut behind them.

A sharp chill clung to the night air as the pack, minus one, headed to the car. Bakugo climbed into the driver’s seat without a word, slamming the door hard enough to make the whole frame rattle. Izuku barely had his seatbelt on before the car lurched forward, tires squealing slightly against the pavement.

Katsuki’s grip on the wheel was white-knuckled, his jaw clenched tight as he glared straight ahead. Every time they hit a red light, his fingers tapped out a sharp, impatient rhythm, punctuated by low curses muttered under his breath. The tension radiating off of him was suffocating.

Kirishima sat silently in the backseat, hunched toward the window, his reflection ghosting in the glass. The weight of the past few days still pressed heavily on him. Normally, he’d be the first to crack a joke or throw on a playlist, something loud and chaotic like Raise Your Flag by MAN WITH A MISSION, already queued up to blast through the speakers. He’d sing along loudly, grin and say something stupid like “You have to feel the music in your gut, man!”, and their blonde mate would told him to fuck off with his own matching grin. But tonight, he said nothing.

Izuku sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He wasn’t sure what Bakugo had planned, but right now, anything was better than whatever they were doing these days.

.

.

.

The gym was dimly lit when they arrived. The stale stench of sweat clung to the concrete walls, mixing with the metallic tang of oxidized iron and chalk dust. The air was thick with a heaviness that settled deep in the lungs. Fluorescent lights flickered overhead, their inconsistent glow casting jagged shadows along the floor and across the rows of reinforced training equipment designed specifically for heroes. Multi-ton treadmills, weighted dummies, resistance fields, climbing towers, everything here catered to quirks, to extremes, to bodies like theirs. In the back stood the fighting ring, scuffed and battered from years of use. Another perk of the job. Izuku knew this gym like the back of his hand. It belonged to the agency him and Bakugo’s worked at, a shared space for all its hero’s with unlimited access. He had trained here, bled here, pushed himself to the brink here but tonight, it felt different. More charged.

Bakugo didn’t speak. He just made a beeline for the locker room, his boots echoing off the concrete. Kirishima and Izuku still followed him without a word. When they returned, changed and dressed down in gym clothes, Bakugo was already in the ring. The ring’s padding creaked beneath his boots as he rolled his shoulders and adjusted his gloves.

The second Kirishima stepped within range, a pair of gloves flew at his chest.

“Put ’em on,” Bakugo rasped.

Kirishima caught them mid-air with a surprised blink. “Don’t we need to warm up, or—?”

“I’m warm enough. Get in the ring.”

Kirishima hesitated only a moment before nodding, stepping between the ropes with a quiet sigh. Izuku hung back, settling near the edge of the ring, his arms crossed. Kirishima squared up in front of Bakugo, falling into a fighting stance with all the enthusiasm of a man going through the motions. His shoulders sagged slightly, his feet were planted on the mat. Bakugo, however, looked like he was seconds away from lunging.

“Ready, shitty hair?”

“Yeah,” Kirishima answered, voice dull. “I’m good.”

But "good" didn’t land the first punch.

Bakugo did. He shot forward like a missile, closing the distance in a single heartbeat. His fist collided with Kirishima’s guard, and the impact echoed through the room like a gunshot. Kirishima stumbled, boots dragging along the mat, barely absorbing the hit before crashing into the ropes.

“Slow,” Bakugo spat, already moving again.

Kirishima retaliated on reflex, swinging a solid right hook, but Bakugo dipped under it, ducking in close until their chests nearly touched. Then, with a grunt, he shoved Kirishima hard, sending him staggering backwards again.

From the edge of the ring, Izuku watched the scene unfolding in front of him. There was nothing playful about this spar. Bakugo was provoking Kirishima, prodding at some bruise beneath the surface, poking the red bear.

“You think holding back makes you a better person?” Bakugo’s voice cut through the air like a whip. “You think it makes up for anything?”

Kirishima’s eyes flashed, something sparking behind the tired haze.

Bakugo sneered. “Pathetic.”

Izuku saw it then, the flicker in Kirishima’s pupils, the way they sharpened, darkened. He was tracking Bakugo’s every move with predatory precision. And Bakugo knew it. He was feeding off it. Smiling, not just with amusement, but with anticipation.

“Come on,” Bakugo growled. “You hit that doctor harder than you’re hitting me. What, are you scared now, Eijirou?”

That did it.

Kirishima lunged, his entire body surging forward. The ring trembled under their combined weight as they collided. His fists came down in a storm, slamming into Bakugo’s guard over and over with raw, unchecked force. The sound was sickening, flesh on flesh, gloves on ribs, elbows scraping against sleeves. But Bakugo didn’t back down. He grinned, wild and unhinged, accepting each hit like a dare. Kirishima’s next punch missed, and Bakugo seized the opening, ducking low, elbowing him in the ribs, then gripping the back of his neck and yanking him into a brutal knee to the gut. The red hair choked, spit flying his lips, but he didn’t go down. He stumbled, bared his teeth, and charged into Bakugo, lifting him clear off the ground before slamming him into the mat. The sound was an echoing thud, and Izuku flinched involuntarily. They grappled, limbs tangled, sweat pouring down their skin. Their bodies moved in instinct and rage and something dangerously close to desperation. Neither wanted to stop. Neither could.

Izuku’s breath caught in his throat. There was something raw in it, something primal, like watching two storms collide. Each hit carried more than muscle. Every punch was part of a silent conversation. Bakugo’s lips were pulled into that terrifying, twisted and hot smile. Kirishima’s hands trembled, not from fatigue, but from the violence he was no longer holding back. And Izuku, well Izuku could feel it in his bones. The weight of it. The heat. The air was thick with sweat and pheromones, a heady, electric blend of rage and desperation and something primal. Bakugo's spice, sharp and biting. Kirishima's musk, warm and unrelenting. It clung to Izuku’s skin, mixed with the metallic tang of the gym until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. It hit him like a punch to the gut too. Dizzying. Almost sweet. Almost too much. His mouth went dry. His skin prickled.
God, it was intoxicating.

In their fight, once again,Bakugo gained the upper hand. He flipped them, slamming Kirishima onto his back and pinning him with a forearm across his collarbone. He winced, gasping, sweat glistening on his flushed face while Bakugo hovered over him, panting, chest to chest heaving, legs tangled together. His voice was low, and rough.

“There you are,” he rasped. His eyes burned, not with anger, but something sharper. Hungrier.

Kirishima sucked in a shaky breath, wide red eyes matching the blonde. “Fuck,” he breathed, the word cracking on his tongue.

Bakugo didn’t move immediately. He just looked down at him, face and knuckles bruised, his sharp teeth threatening to break into his skin. His body pressed even harder on his, almost crushing him with his weight. In response, Kirishima shoved him off with a growl, already rising to his feet, still not satisfied and craving more.

Izuku swallowed hard, his pulse drumming in his ears. He hadn’t moved the whole time. It wasn’t just a fight. It was hunger. It was yearning.

And god help him, it was hot.

So, it took me way longer to work through this chapter than I expected. I don’t know why; this was such a pain in the ass 😭

I feel like it’s been 10 chapters of everyone feeling bad for Todoroki, and I need to move on. Thankfully, it shouldn’t be long before I’m done with it. There are probably only two more sick Todoroki moments left, and very soon Bakugo will have his own POV chapter. I’m not really sure if I can call it a POV chapter, though.

I hope you guys enjoy it! I read a fic that did dialogue differently than I usually do, and I decided to try mimicking their style. Is it better than before, or not? I think I like it better this way. I also really tried to give you all a sense of what pack life was like before the reader, so I know it’s getting long, and maybe you guys are getting impatient to see the reader again. But trust the process! I feel like I need to make sure the pack feels like they have a real relationship on their own before introducing the reader to them.

Unrelated, but let me know what you all think about the characterizations. I don’t want them to feel too OOC, but I also want to try new things with them.

As always, criticisms are welcomed

Big thank you to @cafekitsune who made the beautiful dividers

10 <-11 -> 12

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[er-osion]

My Tears Ricochet

pairing:  Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

summary:  A fic inspired by Taylor Swift’s ‘My Tears Ricochet’.  Kaz says some things to you in anger after a heist so you end things and move out of the Slat.  Months later and Kaz can no longer bear being separated

word count:  2.6k

warnings:  hurt/comfort

you can see the full taylor swift song-fic masterlist here

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The door to Kaz’s room slammed shut.  You tried not to wince at the noise, tried not to move lest you show how upset and afraid you were.  Things had gone bad, really bad.  The heist should’ve been simple but sometimes things just don’t go to plan, sometimes human error messes things up.  Now you stood in the room you shared with Kaz, bracing for him to give you hell for the awful night all of you had had.

“Do you just want to see your teammates die?”  Kaz snapped, back turned to you as he paced around the room.

“What kind of question is that, Kaz?”  You spat back, offended.  “Things go wrong, we’re all human.”

“That’s one of the weakest excuses I’ve heard for inadequacy in a long time.”

Your eyes went wide, “Inadequacy?!”  You repeated, aghast.  “Watch it, Brekker.”

Kaz let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair.  “If you don’t want to be called ‘inadequate’, don’t do foolish things, you behaved like a rookie tonight!”

“The others have made mistakes just as bad, if not worse before, yet when I do it it’s the crime of the century?”  You threw your hands in the air, tone quickly rising to meet his anger.

“No, this heist could’ve been the heist of the century if you hadn’t royally fucked it up!”

“Kaz, I know you’re upset, we all are.  But yelling at me won’t change the events of the evening, it will only make things worse.”

“Oh don’t try and get all ‘holier than thou’ on me.  You don’t want to get yelled at?  Then don’t act like a fucking idiot.”

You blinked back tears of frustration and hurt.  You and Kaz had had your fair share of arguments, being in a relationship with someone who didn’t know how to express their feelings properly can lead to that.  But his behavior was out of pocket and undeserved.  He was supposed to be your biggest supporter, not tear you down. 

The argument raged for another two hours, growing worse and worse by the minute until you’d had enough.

“Kaz, shut the fuck up!”  You cried.  “I’m done!”

He froze, fury overtaking his expression before he took a step back and blinked.  “What?”  His voice was grating.

“I’m done.”  You repeated in a hush, throat and chest tightening impossibly.

“The hell do you mean, ‘you’re done’?”  

“I mean I’m done with this, with us.”  You concluded defeatedly.  Kaz didn’t say anything, his expression didn’t change, as if he hadn’t truly understood what you were saying or the implication of your statement.  “I can’t be with someone who’s going to degrade me for making human mistakes.  We’re supposed to help one another, not demean each other and if you still don’t understand that after all of these years… then I think my time is better spent elsewhere.”

You straightened your back and rolled your shoulders in an attempt to pull yourself together despite the tears blurring your vision.  You waited for Kaz to say something, anything. The silence was deafening.

“If you want to be a quitter then fine, quit.  I don’t need someone who behaves like this anyways.”  Kaz hissed, turning his back to you as he was no longer able to look at your distraught face.  

You puffed in disbelief.  Your heart was burning.  How could he so easily throw you away?  Throw everything the two of you had built together away?  You shook your head and began gathering your things.  You could feel Kaz watching you out of the corner of his eye but he never moved from his spot and never said anything.

When you’d finished gathering your belongings you scurried out of the room, needing more than anything to be out of that suffocating atmosphere.  You decided to stay with a friend going to university.  He asked no questions when you had showed up at his door in the middle of the night with all of your things, just let you in and helped you settle into the guest room.

When you woke up, mid afternoon the next day, your friend, Arthur, assured you that you could stay as long as you needed.  The next few months were torture for you.  This sick feeling in your stomach never went away and your chest never stopped hurting.  Merely eating, breathing, and moving became a task.  All motivation to do anything left your body and you wandered around your friend’s apartment like a ghost.  Nothing felt right, not anymore.  Kaz had always told you that your fighting spirit had made you brave, had inspired him, yet he was so quick to turn it against you.  The tears you cried over that man were endless.

****

Kaz has been a worn wood boat against the raging sea of his emotions these past few months.  He’d been off his grove, on edge, messy, and all the Crows had noticed.  To put it simply: Kaz Brekker had been a wreck of a man since the night you broke up with him.  Nothing was the same, nothing was tolerable anymore.

Everywhere he went, you haunted him.  Your ghost and the ghost of your relationship taunted him in spectral defiance, proving how small of a man he was.  He still wears the rings you’d gotten him underneath his gloves, he couldn’t bear to part from them.  The nicknacks you’d given him over the years that he kept scattered around his office and bedroom stayed in the same spots because he was too scared to get rid of them.  Because getting rid of those nicknacks and the rings meant putting a real end to that chapter of his life. 

He had spent the last few months cursing you, everything you’d ever brought to his life, your memory.  Because being angry was easier than being hurt.  But still, he missed you more than anything.  Saints, he missed you so much it hurt.  No injury could ever compare to the pain in his chest that had been stabbing at him since you walked out the door.  When you’d left, you had carved out a piece of him and took it with you.  There was so much empty space in Kaz’s soul he had to put daily effort in not getting lost in it.

Kaz hadn’t seen a trace of you since you’d left.  He couldn’t decide if that was a bad or good thing.  But tonight, he couldn’t handle it.  These past few months have been unbearably painful, this hole in his heart was no longer ignorable.  He knew he probably didn’t have a chance at reconciliation.  Hell, he probably didn’t deserve a second chance with you.  But Dirtyhands didn’t give up without a fight.  So he decided to find you, talk to you, and try to convey his all-consuming regret.  And if you wanted to move on, then he’d respect that.  Because that’s the very least he could do for you.

It wasn’t hard to figure out where you were.  You didn’t cover your trails and Kaz had an excellent recon team.  But when Inej told him you were staying with some friend from university named Arthur?  The cane-wielding young man almost threw the papers off his desk.  He’s ashamed to admit it, but the jealousy that instantly bubbled in his stomach burned and churned all the unpleasantness he’d been feeling lately into a monstrous wave.  If that good-for-nothing had tried at all to swoop in and replace Kaz in your life, this “Arthur” would learn how Kaz got the name Dirtyhands.

And that’s how Kaz found himself outside of this stranger’s apartment, standing out in the wet cold, unable to bring his gloved hand up to knock on the door.  He’d chosen a time in the evening when he knew your new roommate would be absent for a while, Kaz wanted zero interruptions during whatever was about to go down.

You were torn away from your book when you heard a sharp knock at the door.  Confused, you slowly got up and went to open the door only to reveal the very last person you expected to see tonight.

You stared at Kaz for a long while before beginning coldly, “What do you want?”

Kaz internally flinched at your tone.  “I’d like to talk.”

“Do you want to talk to me or yell at me?”  You retorted, feeling petty.

Kaz screwed his lips shut to keep himself from saying anything stupid, “Talk.”  He reiterated.

You looked him over before stepping aside, wordlessly letting him in.  Kaz strode inside the apartment hastily, observing the space with a critical eye.  “So you’ve been staying with your friend, Alex?”  He purposefully asked incorrectly.

“Arthur.  And yes, he’s been incredibly kind and understanding of my situation.”  You rebuked.

“Not too kind, I’m sure.”

“You have no reason to care.”  You painfully reminded him.  Kaz didn’t say anything, knowing you were right.  Kaz stalked around the main room, pretending to take a great interest in the decor as he tried miserably to plan what to say next.  You watched him move about, scrutinizing his every move and waiting for him to speak up.  You weren’t sure why he was here, but if he wanted to apologize then it would have to be in his own words.

“I…”  Kaz started but then trailed off, unsure of what exactly to say.  The dark haired man sighed, his mind exhausted with frustration, and plopped down on the couch.  You stood unmoving from your spot in the center of the room, still watching and waiting with a raised brow.  “I came to tell you that you didn’t deserve to be yelled at the way I yelled at you.  Even on your worst days you’d never deserve to be treated the way I treated you.”

You blinked in surprise, Kaz was never an openly apologetic person and you could tell he was unfamiliar with this area of communication by the way he stumbled over his words.  You moved closer sitting in the chair opposite him.  You could tell he still had more to say so you nodded at him, silently letting him know to continue.

Kaz took a steadying breath and readjusted his grip on his cane.  “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, I shouldn’t have let you walk out the door.  I can’t sleep at night, all I hear are your whispers.  I can’t keep moving about my day without at least trying to repair things between us.  Even if you don’t want to return to the way we were, I needed to tell you… all of this.”

Your throat tightened and you clutched desperately onto your pant legs for some grounding.  Your mind was spinning.  You wanted to still be angry with him, you wanted to yell at him and berate him.  But here he was, the man you loved sitting in front of you, apologizing, expressing regret over his actions, and telling you he’ll respect whatever decision you make after tonight.

“You hurt me Kaz.  You know how to weaponize words and you turned your stockpile against me and we’re supposed to be allies.”

“I know, I know and I’ll hate that memory for the rest of my life.  I’m a deplorable man, but the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, and I can’t begin to describe the discontent I’ve felt after that night.”

You looked down at your hands, no longer able to maintain eye contact with Kaz with the way he was looking so intensely at you.  “I… I don’t know where to go from here Kaz.”  You admitted honestly.

“I’m not quite sure either.  But,”  Kaz paused, trying to gauge your reaction to his next words, “we could start by moving you back into the Slat.”

Your gaze snapped back up to the brown-eyed man in front of you, heart stuttering in your chest.  “With you?”  You questioned, voice shakier than you’d intended.

“Preferably.”  Kaz confirmed.

You looked Kaz up and down, scanning his face over and over for any sign that he was just messing with you, just trying to get your hopes up before brutally smashing them down again.  But all you could find was ground-shaking sincerity.  Fear and reverence swirled in his coffee-eyes and it knocked the wind out of you.

You took a weak breath in.  Maybe you weren’t strong, but the man you’d loved for years was sitting there trying to reconcile and you weren’t going to lie and say you weren’t ready to jump at the idea.  You didn’t want to give up on the two of you.  Kaz Brekker was your everything, is your everything.  You can’t imagine your life without him in it, so yeah, you were going to try again with him.  If things didn’t work out this time, then you’d take the hint and start the process of moving on.  But you were determined to work things out, because Kaz was here telling you just the same and you’d be damned if you didn’t take this opportunity.

“It’s going to take a bit for me to readjust to us.  I want to try again Kaz, start over.  I want us to work because I believe in us, I believe in you.”  You uttered seriously and Kaz’s breath hitched at your words.  He felt hope again, for the first time in ages he felt bright shining hope and restored vigor.

“I’ll give you all the time you need and more.  I’ll give you whatever you need, all you have to do is ask.  I don’t mean to let us die without a bare-knuckle fight.  I’ll dig up the corpse of us and pull our ghost from the depths of the Underworld if that means we can get a second chance.”  Kaz fervently promised, leaning so far forward he was barely sitting on the edge of his seat anymore.  You smiled at his goreish analogy, always the dramatic Kaz Brekker even when trying to repair your relationship.

You nodded and sighed contentedly.  “I won’t let us die without a fight either– but be warned; if you ever disrespect me like that again, I’ll rip you a new one Brekker.”  You warned with a playful smirk tugging at your lips.

Kaz made a noise between a scoff and a laugh, “I fully expect you to, but I won’t be giving you a reason to ever do so.”  You grinned with satisfaction at his words, getting up from your chair and telling him to stay put as you gathered your things. 

You waited for Arthur to come back before leaving the apartment, so you could explain the situation to him.  He was more than happy for you, glad to see you in any mood other than depressed for the first time in ages.  You made Kaz stand in the hall for the interaction, as you noticed your friend growing quickly uncomfortable with Kaz’s searing glare.

Before you knew it, you were back in the Slat with the love of your life.  You seamlessly melded right back into his space and Kaz could finally breathe freely again.  Things were right, they were the way they were supposed to be now that the two of you were back together again.  Kaz had never felt such a sense of relief as he did watching you settle down for bed in your shared room.  Kaz Brekker was no man of faith, but he swore to every Saint above that he’d never take you for granted or disrespect you ever again, lest he die a painful and humiliating death.  He didn’t deserve your second chances or forgiveness, but he’d work every day to try and deserve it, to be the partner you deserved.

[giannan04]

mean dom jungwon putting you in handcuffs pleaseeee

OMG I love this request! It took me days but it’s finally posted! I had the time of my life writing this and I hope you love it! Thanks for requesting!🫶🏻

—

Pairing: Jealous BF! Jungwon X Afab! Reader

Genre:SMUT!, slight ANGST, Established Relationship AU

Warnings: HEAVY SMUT! Slight BDSM (reader is in handcuffs), MEAN DOM! Jungwon, Slight dumbification (if you squint), choking, Oral Sex! (Both M & F receiving), throat-fucking, Unprotected sex (is BAD), cream-pie, P in V, angst, some fluff at the end, I think that’s it!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT‼️🔞

Your boyfriend Jungwon’s frustration (and jealousy) boil over when you come home late from the movies with Jake, a mutual friend who has always given him bad vibes. Despite your assurances that Jake is just a friend, Jungwon’s jealousy and anger reach a breaking point. Convinced that Jake’s intentions are not as innocent as you claim, Jungwon confronts you about your friendship with him, trying to tell you that Jake doesn’t want to be just your best friend. Tired of you being so naive, Jungwon decides it’s time he puts you in your place and shows you exactly who you belong to…

—-

Jungwon was standing in the shower, hot water streaming down his body as he ran a hand through his wet hair. He realized that you still weren’t home, even though you were supposed to be back from the movies by now. Bitterness settled deep in his chest. He’d been annoyed from the moment you told him you were going to see the new ‘Deadpool’ movie with your best friend, Jake, but now, his frustration was rising as it was getting dark outside, and you were still gone.

Jake was someone you both knew—mutual friend—but Jungwon hated that Jake wanted to go with just you. He had always suspected Jake had feelings for you, even though you insisted it was nothing. Still, Jungwon couldn’t forget the way Jake looked at you sometimes, casting you lingering glances and flirtatious smiles that were far too familiar; Jungwon would look at you that way before you two were together. He thought back to the countless times Jake had crossed the line. Like the time Jake 'jokingly' grabbed your waist at that party, or the time he was a little too eager to take pictures with you at the amusement park, standing too close, touching too much. Or the time he caught Jake looking up your skirt when you were all at the mall; and when Jungwon confronted him, he just brushed it off, not even denying it. Or the many times Jake always told Jungwon how “lucky he was to have you.” Jungwon gritted his teeth at the memories. And you, always too naive to see it. You kept insisting Jake was just a friend, that he was only being friendly because you were his best friend.

Jungwon let out a frustrated sigh as he stepped out of the shower, quickly drying himself off and getting dressed. Now he was getting worried—why weren’t you home yet?

Just as he was about to grab his phone, headlights flashed through the window. Jungwon crossed the room to the open window and looked down, seeing Jake’s car pull up in front of the house. He watched as Jake walked around the car to open your door, a smile on his face as you stepped out. Jungwon’s jaw clenched when he heard Jake’s voice through the cracked window.

“I’m really glad we got to spend time together, just the two of us,” Jake said, his tone light and flirty.

You laughed in response, completely unaware of the tension that was brewing upstairs. “Yeah, it was fun.”

Jungwon’s eyes narrowed as he saw Jake lean in for a kiss, but you turned around too late, completely missing his advance. Still, the sight of Jake trying to kiss you set Jungwon off. He stormed downstairs just as you walked through the door.

“What the hell was that?” Jungwon’s voice was sharp as you closed the door behind you.

You looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You and Jake! I saw what happened outside. He tried to kiss you.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “No, he didn’t—”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Jungwon snapped, stepping closer to you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he flirts with you. And you, just letting it happen. Are you really that naive? Or do you just crave attention? Do I not give you enough?!”

Your face flushed with embarrassment. “I swear, Jungwon, I didn’t know he was going to do that. Jake’s just my friend.”

“Just your friend?” Jungwon scoffed. “Do you really think he sees you that way?”

“Yes! Jake’s been my best friend for years, he’s never tried anything. He’s also your friend, he wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jungwon ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re so fucking clueless sometimes. You have no idea how guys like him think. He doesn’t just want to be your friend.”

The argument went on, Jungwon growing more and more pissed as you tried to defend your friendship with Jake. But Jungwon wasn’t having it.

“Enough,” he finally said, his voice cold and commanding. He rubbed his eyes, passed off and annoyed. “You’re going to learn who you belong to. I’m tired of this shit.”

Before you could say anything, Jungwon grabbed your wrist and pulled you upstairs to the bedroom. The door slammed shut behind you, and his eyes were dark with a mix of anger and lust.

“Take your clothes off. Now,” he ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Your heart raced as you fumbled to obey, quickly undressing under his intense gaze. Before you could fully comprehend what was happening, he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could react, he had you pinned down on the bed and your wrists were locked in place behind your back.

Jungwon’s eyes flashed as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. “You’re going to learn your place tonight,” he growled.

He was rough from the start, his hands gripping your body as he pushed you deeper into the bed. Jungwon was always rough with you in the bedroom, but you had a feeling that this time would be different. The cool metal of the handcuffs bit into your wrists as you struggled against the restraint, but it only seemed to fuel his desire. And you weren’t gonna lie, it was turning you on. His mouth was on you in an instant, trailing hot kisses down your body until his lips reached your core. Without warning, his tongue flicked over your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

“Look at you, already so wet,” he murmured against your skin. “Did you get this worked up thinking about Jake?”

You shook your head, breathless. “N-no—”

“Don’t lie to me,” Jungwon growled, his fingers slipping inside you, curling in a way that made your eyes flutter and see stars. “I know exactly what you need. I’m the only one who can give it to you.”

Jungwon relentlessly teased your clit with his tongue, with his fingers moving in and out of you at a punishing pace. Your mind started to blur as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you, but Jungwon didn’t stop. He pushed you further, taking his jealousy out on you as you whimpered beneath him.

“Such a dumb little thing,” he taunted, his voice low and dangerous. “You’re so fucking naive, letting him get so close to you. You’re mine, you hear me? No one else’s.”

You could barely form a coherent thought as your body shook from the intensity of it all. His fingers were hitting your g-spot just right. “Fuck, Jungwon. I’m close…” your cunt tightly clenched around his fingers as you came, and Jungwon just kept going. You felt like you were losing control, but Jungwon kept pushing you, not letting you come down from the high.

When he finally pulled away, you were a trembling mess, but he wasn’t done with you yet. Jungwon stood up, sucking your juices off of his fingers, his eyes dark as he grabbed your hair and forced you onto your knees. With a smirk, he pulled down his sweatpants, revealing his throbbing, erect cock. You nearly dropped at the sight.

“You’re going to take it,” he ordered, his grip on your face tightening. “And you’re not going to talk to Jake ever again.”

He gripped the base of his cock, the tip already leaking with precum, as he tapped it against your lips. “Tongue out,” he growled, his voice low and commanding. You complied without hesitation, your lips parting as you obediently stuck your tongue out, letting it brush against the swollen head of his dick.

Slowly, you swirled your tongue around the tip, savoring the salty taste of his precum. Your lips then wrapped around him, creating a tight seal as you started sucking him off, your mouth moving in slow, deliberate strokes. Saliva began to pool, dripping down over his shaft, coating him in slick warmth. You moaned around his cock, the vibrations sending shivers through Jungwon’s body.

He groaned deeply, his head falling back slightly. “Fuck, baby, you suck my dick so well,” he panted, his voice husky with pleasure. But you could tell he was growing impatient. Jungwon always craved more, always wanted to take control. His grip on your hair tightened, and before you could prepare yourself, he thrust his hips forward, forcing his cock deeper into your throat.

The sudden movement made you gag, your throat constricting around him as he pushed himself deeper, relentless in his pace. His hand on your head kept you firmly in place, and tears began to sting your eyes as he fucked your mouth. Your nose was nearly buried in his abdomen, the overwhelming sensation of him filling your throat almost too much to handle, but you knew better than to pull away.

“You understand me?” Jungwon growled, his voice ragged. “You’re mine. Only mine.”

Jungwon continued to thrust into your throat, his hands tangling in your hair. His cock was so far deep that you felt the tip grazing your tonsils as he fucked your throat, his balls slapping against your lips and chin. Droplets of tears rolled down your cheeks and you were gagging, but in a weird way, you loved the feeling of your boyfriend using your throat like this. “Mmmmm”, you groaned, the tip of his dick grazing your tonsils.

Jungwon moaned, "Fuck, I’m about to cum." Without warning, he stopped moving and held your head still, his cock twitching in your mouth, pressing against the inside of your cheeks. You felt his warm seed shoot into the back of your throat, the sweet and salty taste filling your mouth. As you pulled away, a thin string of his cum lingered on your bottom lip. Jungwon leaned his head back, eyes closed, and sighed. “Fuck, baby, you’re so nasty to me. Jake wishes you could suck his dick like that.”

But Jungwon wasn’t satisfied. He craved more—he wanted to destroy you, to remind you of your place after spending time with Jake. Roughly cupping your cheek, he said, "I’m not taking those off yet, baby," gesturing to the handcuffs. "I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet. Jake will never be able to fuck you the way I do. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember that asshole’s name."

Jungwon roughly kissed you as he inserted his fingers into you, to make sure your pussy was ready for him. He pulled away and smirked. “Still wet, only I can turn you on like this.” He pushed you back into the bed, spreading your legs apart. “Don’t close your legs, or I’ll make sure you suffer way more.” “Yes, Jungwon”, you complied, laying on the bed with your legs spread far apart and your arms handcuffed behind your back.

Jungwon grabbed his erect cock, rubbing the head onto your swollen clit, teasing you. “Jungwonnn, ohmygod”. You were so impatient; his teasing felt good, but you needed more. Jungwon placed his rand hand on your neck, gripping it tightly, as he used his other hand to push his dick into you.

“Fuuuck.” The feeling of his erect, curved length felt so good. But Jungwon didn’t give you time to savor it. He immediately starting thrusting inside you, his grip on your waist hard enough to leave bruises behind. His right hand still gripped your throat, lightly choking you. “Fuck, baby, your pussy is so so good. And it’s all mine, you’re never giving my pussy away.” He moaned breathlessly, his thrusts getting stronger each time. The sound of skin slapping echoed in the small bedroom.

“Jungwon, I’m already close,” you moaned uncontrollably, your eyelids fluttering as you felt Jungwon’s erect cock throb inside of you.

“Me too, baby,” Jungwon’s grip tightened around your throat as his thrusts became more erratic. He looked down at you, his grip on your throat loosening. He kissed your forehead, continuing his erratic thrusts.

“Cum first baby.” You nodded, feeling pleasure course through your body as you came. Jungwon’s thrusts became light while you came, your cum coating his dick perfectly. “Fuck, Jungwon. I feel so good,” you cried out. Your legs trembled and lay flat on the bed. Jungwon finally reached his climax, his cum filling your hole perfectly. The warm feeling felt amazing to you, and you both moaned while his dick twitched inside you, filling you up.

When he finally pulled away, your body was spent, your throat raw. Jungwon’s demeanor had shifted. He uncuffed you, gently rubbing your wrists as he laid you back down on the bed. He kissed your body, showing extra love to the marks left by his thumbs on your waist and neck. Jungwon lay on the bed, gently pulling you on top of him while you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his neck.

“I know you and Jake are just friends,” he said quietly, his fingers tracing your skin as he wiped away the sweat. “But I see the way he looks at you. It drives me crazy.”

You nodded, still catching your breath. “I won’t talk to him anymore,” you whispered, agreeing without hesitation. You loved and needed Jungwon, and you weren’t going to let Jake ruin your relationship.

Jungwon leaned down, starting to clean you off, and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

You felt his hands on you, soft and gentle now as he took care of you, wiping away the remnants of sweat and cum. But when he realized how much he had missed, he chuckled.

“Looks like we need a shower,” he said, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the bathroom.

The warmth of the water surrounded you both as Jungwon stood behind you, washing your hair and body with a tenderness that was in stark contrast to the roughness from earlier. Jungwon used one arm to wash you off, and one arm to hold you in place so you wouldn’t fall, as your legs were wobbly and you were still trembling a bit. He kissed your neck softly, whispering reassurances as the water cascaded over your bodies. “You’re mine,” he murmured, his arms wrapped around your waist. “Always.”

——-

[msfantasy-comics]

The Cruel to be Kind

Tim Drake x Reader

Summary: A story in which Tim is cruel to you in order to be kind

A/n: Y/n is depicted as the popular girl. Admittedly, after the rooftop scene I kinda got fatigued from writing …

Warning: sexually suggestive.

Your friendship with Gotham’s beloved hero, Robin, was mysterious, to say the least.

The first time you met Boy Wonder, his eyes darted around nervously while you stood in stunned silence on your apartment rooftop. Gotham’s golden boy, stuttering and stumbling over rushed apologies for disturbing your night.

A soft smile tugs at your lips as you recall the memory—when Robin was shy and sweet, so unlike the confident vigilante he is now.

“Well, well, what’s got you all smirking?” Robin’s voice calls out as he swings down from the ledge, loud and cocky as always.

You sigh, already surrendering to his teasing. “I was thinking about when we first met. You were so shy back then.”

You watch, amused, as his ego visibly inflates.

“You just can’t stop thinking about me, can you?” he grins smugly. “Admit it—you want me, don’t you?”

He wiggles his brows, and you can’t help but laugh. The spark of courage bubbles up. “So what if I do?”

For the first time ever, Robin falls completely silent. His eyes lock onto yours, wide and unsure. You feel a twinge of regret—maybe you went too far? But before you can take it back, a booming laugh bursts out of him, like you just told the best joke he’s ever heard.

“Don’t tease me like that, Y/n,” he chuckles, then softens, his tone turning almost reverent. “My poor little heart couldn’t take any false hope… not when it’s already yours.”

“I’m not teasing.”

He stills again, brows furrowing as if trying to figure out whether you’re serious. Your words hang heavy in the air, crossing the line that had long kept your banter safely flirtatious. Neither of you had dared to go beyond it—until now.

“I’m tired of pretending this is all a game,” you continue, heart pounding. “I like you, Robin. Romantically.”

You search his face, desperate to know if he’ll laugh again—if he’ll wave it off as another joke. His mouth opens, then closes. His eyes flicker across your face, searching for signs of insincerity. But there are none.

You exhale sharply. “Why do you always act like you want to be with me, but the second I say how I feel, you pull away?”

He doesn’t respond. Just stares out at the city, shoulders heavy.

“Because I can’t be with you,” he says quietly.

“Why the hell not?” Your voice is sharper than you intended, but you don’t care. He’s never heard you like this.

“Because I’m a vigilante,” he murmurs, eyes still on the skyline. “I’m dangerous. I can’t risk your life.”

He takes a slow breath. “I’ve seen what happens when heroes fall in love with civilians. Once the mask comes off, the mystery disappears. You’ll see I’m just a guy. Nothing special.”

The silence stretches again—painfully long—until you finally find your voice.

“Is that really what you think of me? That I’m so shallow I’d stop caring about you once I see who you are underneath the mask?”

You step back, a bitter taste in your mouth.

“If you never intended to be with me, why visit every night? Why make me feel like this meant something?” Your voice cracks, anger and heartbreak rising. “You acted like it was real. Like we were real. But now that I’ve said something, you get cold feet? I feel so stupid. You should just go.”

You turn away, face burning with embarrassment, blinking back the sting in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he says softly. “Sometimes… you have to be cruel to be kind. It’s better this way.”

And just like that—he’s gone.

You were utterly mystified by the whole situation. Your heart weighed heavily with a mix of confusion and disappointment, and as much as you tried, you couldn’t reason why Robin had made the decision he did.

If he’d truly decided that he couldn’t be with you, then he should never have toyed with your heart in the first place—should never have coaxed it open just to walk away once it was laid bare. You couldn’t fault his reasoning, not entirely, but the way he misrepresented his intentions grated on you deeply. If he didn’t want anything beyond surface-level flirting, he shouldn’t have shown up at your balcony every night at exactly 7 PM with all that smoldering intensity. He shouldn’t have made you feel like he needed you, like he wanted you.

Weeks passed. You hadn’t seen him since. And while you were somewhat glad—relieved even—there was no denying the pang of disappointment that still tugged at your chest.

You were at a gala, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone, trying not to admit you were checking for any recent sightings of the Boy Wonder, when the loud music jarred you out of focus. You bumped into someone.

“Oh—sorry, Tim,” you muttered, awkwardly glancing up and hoping you hadn’t mistaken him for the wrong Wayne.

“Uh—yeah—no problem,” Tim replied quickly, eyes darting away awkwardly. You figured he didn’t remember your name.

“It’s Y/n,” you offered helpfully.

“Yeah—I know. I mean, everyone knows your name…”

You shifted uncomfortably. Tim seemed to realise how that sounded.

“Not in a weird way,” he added quickly. “It’s just… you’re kind of famous.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Tim snorted. “Please. You’re Gotham’s most popular socialite. You have literal fan clubs.”

You groaned, face heating up with secondhand embarrassment.

The whole interaction made you pause. Tim’s awkwardness—it was eerily familiar. It reminded you of someone else, someone who used to stumble over his words when he first showed up on your rooftop every night.

His gaze shifted to your phone.

“You a Robin fan?” he asked, and your heart pinched at the name.

“Ah, yeah, I guess… I don’t know.” You chuckled awkwardly. “I used to see him running around the rooftops all the time. Lately, I haven’t. I just got a little nervous, y’know? Like… something happened.”

God, why were you oversharing?

Tim smiled kindly at your flustered honesty. “Well, I can assure you he’s fine. I actually see him pretty often—Bruce is, uh, one of Batman’s biggest benefactors. Anyway, come on, let’s drink.”

The rest of the night became a blur.

Gin, champagne, laughter.

You and Tim wandered from the party and found yourselves walking the gardens, where playful banter turned into something more.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the comfort of his familiar energy, but you grabbed his collar and pressed your lips to his.

Tim kissed you back without hesitation.

Suddenly, you were straddling his lap on a garden bench, frantically clutching at each other, lips pressed, hands wandering, both of you desperate for something more.

Maybe not love—but certainly escape.

That was all until he released a throaty chuckle.

It was unmistakably his.

It couldn’t have been, could it?

It might be the alcohol misleading you but it had to be him, right?

But despite the train of thought that delivered you to that destination, you remain firmly planted in Tim’s lap, not daring to let him leave again.

“Take me on a date.” You demanded despite Tim’s frantic kissed planting along any of your exposed skin.

“Love nothing more.” He agreed.

You woke up with that giddy feeling buzzing in your stomach.

Later that day, you were supposed to meet Tim for a date. You got dressed, did your makeup, and waited at the little Italian place he’d picked… but he didn’t show up.

The news played silently on the diner’s mounted TV: Robin seen fighting the Riddler atop Wayne Tower.

He messaged you later with profuse apologies and asked to make it up to you.

You said yes.

This time, he invited you to a movie. You waited outside the theater, bouquet of his apology flowers in hand… and scrolled to see a news alert: Robin seen pursuing the Joker through downtown Gotham.

Another apology. Another reschedule.

Third time’s the charm, right?

You found yourself at an extravagant picnic set up on the hilltop overlooking Gotham. It was romantic, quiet… and empty. Thirty minutes passed.

You started eating alone.

Another notification lit up your phone: Robin in combat with Poison Ivy at Gotham Botanical Gardens.

You’d just popped a grape in your mouth when you heard footsteps pounding toward you. Tim skidded into view, slightly breathless, slightly sweaty.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I had another meeting.”

You didn’t even look up. “That’s okay, Robin—I know you’d be here on time if you could.”

He froze. “Huh? What? No—I… Wait. What?”

You glanced at him, expression deadpan.

“Please, Tim. That tiny mask and skin-tight suit weren’t fooling anyone. Not your voice, not your hair… definitely not your cologne.”

Tim blinked. “Oh… right.”

You raised a brow. “Some ‘normal guy,’ huh?”

He groaned. “Shush, you.” He retorts, pulling you in for a kiss which you gladly returned.

[cece693]

Where's The Trust? Pt. 2

pairing: bucky barnes x male reader tags: steve really is an asshole, bucky trying to gain forgiveness, you are bitter as fuck, the avengers are conflicted, Tony taking matters into their own hands, good bro Tony, was gonna end it here but a reconciliation is in order, part 3 if wanted

It had been weeks since that horrible confrontation—weeks since you’d walked out on Bucky, burning with betrayal and heartbreak. And in that time, your anger had crystallized into a cold, vicious wall that no one—least of all Bucky—could penetrate.

Bucky tried. God, did he try. He sought you out in every corridor of the Avengers Compound, cornering you near the training gym, waiting for you outside the labs, even tentatively stopping by your quarters. But no matter how or where he approached, you shut him down with biting words or frosty glares. Sometimes you wouldn’t even look at him; you’d just shoulder past, exuding the kind of scorn that made everyone around you flinch.

You became, in Tony’s words, “the biggest asshole known to man.” Normally affable and considerate, you were now short-tempered, dismissive, and cold as ice. You brushed off team bonding sessions, training spars, even the usual group movie nights if he or Steve were in attendance. The rest of the team was confused, to say the least. After all, you and Bucky had been the golden couple—two people whose trust and loyalty seemed unshakeable. Now, you were outright hostile, and Bucky looked like a hollow shell of the man they once knew. No one knew the details of what went wrong; no one dared pry into the tinderbox of your anger.

Steve, in the meantime, tried to exploit the widening chasm between you and Bucky. “You need to move on,” he murmured one day in the gym, while Bucky had been pounding at the super-soldier-enforced punching bags, trying—and failing—to vent his frustration in a healthier way. “They’re never going to forgive you, Buck. Maybe it’s time you—”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Bucky snapped, punching the bag off the chain and sending it skittering across the room. Sweat dripped down his face, but his eyes blazed colder than ice.

“I’m just saying,” Steve continued, stepping closer, “maybe we can find comfort in each oth—”

Bucky nearly flew at him, fists clenched. “Comfort?” he snarled, voice trembling with rage. “Don’t you dare talk to me about comfort, you self-serving bastard. You think you can just swoop in when I’m at my lowest and pick up the pieces? You destroyed everything!” His voice echoed off the empty gym walls, making Steve flinch. The blonde raised both hands, palms out, but Bucky didn’t let him speak again.

“You ruined my life—my relationship—so you could chase some pathetic fantasy that we were meant to be. Let me spell it out for you, Rogers: I don't love you nor do I want anything to do with you. Whatever we had is gone, dead. You come near me with that bullshit again, and I swear I’ll make you regret it.” A tense silence fell. Steve swallowed hard, eyes flicking with hurt, but Bucky stormed off before he could respond. From that moment on, any semblance of friendship between them was shattered.

The tension rose within the team so much that it was Tony—yes, the man who normally avoided confrontation like the plague—who finally mustered the nerve to corner you about what happened with Barnes. He cornered you in one of the compound’s smaller lounges, a glass-walled room where you wouldn’t have an easy escape route. You glowered at him the moment he closed the door, already anticipating the lecture you didn’t want.

“Look,” Tony said, raising both hands in mock surrender, “I get it—you’re in a Bad Mood with capital letters. Usually, I’d say that’s none of my business, but this is starting to affect mission readiness. And that is my business. So talk.”

You folded your arms, lips pressed in a tight line. “There’s nothing to say, Tony.”

“Right. Because you and your ex–mister perfect soldier just decided to stop talking and run around with matching doom-and-gloom expressions for fun.” Tony snorted, crossing his arms in return. “Come on, I’m not asking for graphic details. Just enough to, you know, keep the team from imploding. And—” He hesitated, then added more softly, “I’m worried about you.”

Your chest tightened. You hadn’t heard that tone from him in a while—an undercurrent of genuine concern rather than sarcastic deflection. It reminded you, painfully, that once upon a time you and Tony had been…well, something. Not precisely soulmates, but definitely more than friends. A messy tangle of mutual respect, attraction, and comfort that had eventually fizzled out amicably. And while your heart now belonged to Bucky (or did, anyway), you still had a lingering fondness for Tony that was tough to ignore.

You exhaled a shaky breath, your anger and sorrow warring behind your eyes. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.”

His eyebrows lifted, and he gave a half-laugh. “Yeah, sure. And I’m the poster boy for healthy coping mechanisms.” Then his expression sobered. “(Y/N), please. Level with me. Something major happened, and if it keeps escalating, it’s not just you and Bucky who’ll suffer—it could jeopardize missions, our safety…everything.”

You closed your eyes. For a moment, your lips pressed into a thin, trembling line. You were so damn tired—tired of carrying all this anger, tired of everyone tiptoeing around you, tired of Bucky’s hollow stares. Part of you wanted to hold everything in. Another part was on the verge of bursting. And Tony…Tony was the one person who might actually understand. Hell, he’d seen you at your worst and never once thrown it back in your face.

Your eyes snapped open, and you found yourself speaking before you could lose your nerve. “He lied, Tony. Bucky lied to me. We were serious, and he never bothered to tell me about him and Steve. They used to…be together. And then I caught them kissing. I—” Your voice cracked, and you had to breathe through the sudden surge of raw pain. “I don’t know who started it. Bucky swears it was Steve, but I— I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Tony’s face flickered with surprise, quickly followed by something like sympathy. “Steve and Bucky…” he muttered, rubbing his chin. “Wow, okay. That’s a new one for me.”

You snorted, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Yeah, well, apparently it wasn’t new for them. They’d had some fling back in the day, never told me, and now I’m the idiot left wondering if he ever really gave it up, or if I was just—just some stand-in.”

You could feel the tears welling up, which only made your anger twist into something more acidic. Dammit, you hated crying in front of others, especially Tony. But the betrayal still burned, and it wasn’t going away. Tony watched you carefully. “Hey,” he said softly, shifting closer. “You can be mad, y’know. You can feel every bit of this. You’re not wrong for it.”

His words—simple validation—threatened to break the floodgates. Despite the resentment swirling in your gut, you felt a small pocket of relief that he hadn’t brushed you off or told you to “get over it.” In fact, he looked unexpectedly sympathetic. “Doesn’t make it hurt any less,” you muttered, wiping angrily at your eyes.

“No,” Tony agreed, “it doesn’t. But sometimes we need the hurt. We need to acknowledge it before it can heal—or before we can figure out if it’s even worth healing.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Trust me, I know a thing or two about screwing up relationships.”

A tired laugh escaped you. “I remember.”

“Har har.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not defending Barnes’ secrecy—dumb move on his part, no question. But from what I’ve seen, the guy worships the ground you walk on. He’s miserable without you.”

“Well, he should’ve thought about that before he lied to me.” Your voice wavered between fury and sorrow. “I can’t just pretend everything’s okay.”

"And you shouldn't, (Y/N), but if there's one thing I know is that love is tougher than the shit we throw at it. If you're still this mad at him, it means a part of you still cares because if you didn't, you'd be indifferent. Anger is a sign there's something worth being angry over, you know?"

You stared at him, that sentiment rocking through you. You’d been so caught up in the betrayal, you hadn’t stopped to think about what your anger truly meant. If you truly wanted Bucky out of your life, why did the mere thought of him push your heart into overdrive?

“God, I hate that you’re making sense,” you mumbled, sniffing.

Tony quirked a small smile. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a rep to maintain.”

You barked a watery laugh, your shoulders sagging. The relief of finally talking to someone—really talking—felt like a weight lifting, even if just a little. “So what now?” you asked, voice quiet. “I can’t just snap my fingers and fix this. Every time I see him, I remember— remember them together.”

He nodded. “I hear you. I’m not saying you have to forgive him tomorrow. But maybe give yourself some breathing room. Let the anger settle a bit. Once the rage isn’t so blinding, maybe you can see if there’s anything to salvage—any explanation that doesn’t make you want to throttle him.” He paused, then added wryly, “And, well, if you can’t salvage it, at least you’ll know you tried.”

A weighted silence lingered. You exhaled slowly, struggling to keep your emotions in check. Finally, you lifted your gaze to Tony’s, a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “When did you become the voice of reason?”

He patted your shoulder. “Probably around the time I decided I actually give a damn about the people on this team. Don’t spread it around.” Despite yourself, you laughed again—hoarsely, but genuinely. It was the first time in weeks you’d felt anything close to lightness. Tony gave you a half-smile, pressing a small handkerchief into your hand. You recognized it as one of his showier accessories, printed with tiny Iron Man helmets.

“Here,” he said. “Use it to dab away those tears before someone catches on that you still have a heart.”

You rolled your eyes but accepted it gratefully, wiping the dampness from your cheeks. “Thanks, Tony,” you murmured. “For listening. For everything.”

He shrugged in that trademark Stark way—casual but genuine. “Anytime, (Y/N). Just don’t go ballistic on me if I try to get you two in the same room. I’m not saying I will, but, you know…hypotheticals.”

You shot him a half-hearted glare, tempered by a ghost of a smile. “Don’t push your luck.”

He grinned. “Noted.”

With that, he opened the lounge door, allowing you to slip back into the compound’s corridors. But somehow, the air felt a fraction less suffocating—and for the first time in weeks, you dared to consider the possibility that, maybe, healing wasn’t entirely off the table.

[thirteenheavens]

wonwoo make up sex

I have so many wonwoo requests I think you guys are an army 😭

Wonwoo and you were in the middle of an argument. It had started over something small, but it had quickly escalated into a full-blown fight.

"You never listen to me!" Wonwoo exclaimed, his voice rising in frustration. "I tell you things, and you just brush them off like they don't matter!" You crossed your arms, your expression defensive. "That's not true," you snapped. "I do listen to you. I just don't agree with everything you say."

Wonwoo scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, of course you don't," he said sarcastically. "Because you always know better than me, right?"

Your anger flared at his words. "That's not what I'm saying at all," you retorted. "I'm just saying that sometimes you can be a bit... stubborn."

Wonwoo let out a bitter laugh. "Stubborn? That's rich coming from you," he said, his eyes narrowing. "You're the most stubborn person I know."

You clenched your fists, your patience wearing thin. "You know what? Maybe I wouldn't be so stubborn if you actually listened to me for once," you shot back.

Wonwoo's expression darkened, his jaw clenching in anger. "Maybe if you weren't so damn opinionated all the time, we wouldn't be having this argument," he said through gritted teeth. The argument continued to escalate, both of you getting more and more heated. The words were flowing fast and furious, with each of you trying to get the last word in.

"I'm done talking to you when you're like this," Wonwoo said, his voice cold and distant. "You're not even trying to listen to me."

You felt a pang of hurt at his words, but you refused to back down. "And you're not even trying to understand my point of view," you shot back, your voice shaking with anger.

Wonwoo scoffed again, his expression hardening. "I don't see why I should," he said dismissively. "Your point of view is always wrong anyway."

Your heart sank at his words, the hurt and anger mixing together to create a toxic cocktail of emotions. You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall.

"You're such an asshole," you said, your voice trembling. "You always do this. You always push me away when things get tough."

Wonwoo's expression faltered for a moment, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. But he quickly recovered, his mask of indifference falling back into place.

"Maybe I wouldn't push you away if you weren't so damn difficult to deal with," he snapped, his voice cold and detached.

Wonwoo watched as you stormed off to the bedroom, the sound of the door slamming echoing through the apartment. He stood there for a moment, his chest heaving with anger and frustration. He knew he had gone too far, but his pride was too strong to admit it. Instead, he clenched his fists and tried to calm himself down. As you sat down on the bed, tears streaming down your face, the weight of the argument hit you all at once. You were hurt and angry, but more than anything, you felt a deep sense of loneliness.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to find some sort of comfort in your own embrace. But it wasn't enough. You wanted Wonwoo to come and apologize, to hold you and tell you that everything would be okay. But he didn't come. The minutes ticked by, and you sat there alone, the silence in the room only broken by the sound of your soft sobs. You knew that you needed to talk to him, to try and work things out. But the thought of facing him again filled you with dread.

As you sat there, lost in your own thoughts, the bedroom door creaked open. Wonwoo stood in the doorway, his expression a mixture of guilt and concern. Wonwoo took a step into the room, his eyes falling on your tear-streaked face. He felt a pang of guilt as he saw the hurt in your eyes.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice laced with regret. "Can we talk?"

You looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy from crying. You nodded silently, unable to find the words to speak. Wonwoo walked over to the bed and sat down beside you, leaving a respectful distance between you. He took a deep breath, his eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean what I said. I was angry and I lashed out at you."

You wiped the tears from your face, still feeling the sting of his words. "Why do you always do that?" you asked, your voice trembling. "Why do you push me away when things get tough?"

Wonwoo looked up at you, his expression pained. "I don't know," he admitted. "I guess I'm just scared. Scared of getting hurt, scared of losing you."

You felt a pang of sympathy for him, but your hurt and anger were still fresh. "But pushing me away isn't going to solve anything," you said firmly. "It's only going to make things worse."

Wonwoo nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I know," he said softly. "I know I messed up. But I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to stop pushing you away."

Wonwoo looked up at you, his eyes pleading. "Please," he said softly. "Can I kiss you? I just...I need to feel close to you."

You hesitated for a moment, torn between your anger and your desire to feel his touch. But in the end, the need to feel his love overpowered everything else.

"Okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Wonwoo moved closer to you, his hand reaching out to cup your face. He looked at you intently, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and regret.

"I'm so sorry," he said again, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I'll never hurt you again, I promise."

And then he kissed you. His lips were soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the harsh words that had been exchanged earlier. It was a kiss filled with remorse, apology, and a deep sense of longing. You closed your eyes, savoring the feeling of his lips against yours. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer as you melted into the kiss. Wonwoo's hands roamed over your body, his touch desperate and needy. He deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance to your mouth. You responded eagerly, your own tongue tangling with his as you lost yourself in the heat of the moment.

As the kiss grew more passionate, you found yourself being pushed down onto the bed, Wonwoo's body hovering over yours. He broke the kiss, his lips moving down to your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin there. You moaned softly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you arched your back in pleasure.

"I need you," Wonwoo whispered against your skin, his voice hoarse with desire. "I need to feel you, to make things right."

You nodded, your body aching for his touch. "Please," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wonwoo pulled back, his eyes dark with lust as he looked down at you. He slowly undressed you, his hands moving over your body with a reverent touch.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his lips trailing down your chest as he continued to undress you.

You shivered as his lips brushed against your skin, your body tingling with anticipation. He reached the hem of your underwear and slowly pulled it down, his eyes never leaving yours.

"You're mine," he said possessively, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "Mine to love, mine to protect."

You reached up and pulled him down to you, crashing your lips together in a heated kiss. Your bodies were pressed together, the heat between you almost unbearable.

Wonwoo broke the kiss, his breathing ragged as he looked down at you. "I'm going to show you how much I love you," he said, his voice low and husky. "I'm going to make you feel so good, baby."

You nodded, your heart racing in anticipation. Wonwoo leaned down and captured your lips in another searing kiss, his hands roaming over your body as he did so. He moved his lips down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin there. His hands moved lower, exploring every inch of your body with a possessive touch. As he removed his clothes, you couldn't help but admire his toned body. His muscles rippled under his skin as he moved, his eyes dark with desire.

"I've missed you," he whispered, his lips trailing down your stomach. "Missed the way you feel, the way you taste."

His lips reached your thighs, and he began to leave a trail of kisses there. You gasped as he nipped at your skin, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

He continued to kiss and nibble at your thighs, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "I need you," he murmured against your skin. "I need to be inside you."

You arched your back, your body aching for him. "Please," you moaned, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you.

Wonwoo positioned himself between your legs, his eyes locked on yours. He leaned down and kissed you deeply, his tongue tangling with yours as he slowly entered you. You moaned into his mouth as he filled you, the sensation overwhelming. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as he began to move.

"God, you feel so good," he groaned, his forehead pressed against yours. "I've missed this, missed being inside you."

As he moved inside you, he continued to murmur apologies, his body conveying his regret with every thrust.

"I'm sorry, baby," he panted, his breath hot against your ear. "I'm so sorry for everything. I'll never hurt you again, I promise."

You clung to him, your body responding to his touch and his words. You could feel the intensity of his emotions in every thrust, in every kiss.

"I forgive you," you whispered, your voice shaky with pleasure. "I forgive you, Wonwoo."

His movements became more urgent, his hips snapping against yours as he sought to bring you both to the edge.

"I love you," he gasped, his eyes locked on yours. "I love you so much, baby. I'll never do anything again."

You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your body trembling with pleasure. "I love you too," you managed to say, your words punctuated by moans and gasps.

Wonwoo's thrusts grew more erratic, his breathing becoming ragged as he neared his own release. "Come for me," he growled, his eyes blazing with desire.

His words sent you hurtling over the edge, your body convulsing as pleasure washed over you. You cried out his name, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you rode out your orgasm. Wonwoo followed soon after, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he came. He held you tightly, his body shuddering with the force of his release. As his hips continued to twitch, he held you close, his breath hot against your skin. "Fuck," he murmured again, his voice filled with awe and satisfaction.

He rolled onto his side, taking you with him so that you were facing each other. He stroked your hair, his touch gentle and loving. "That was incredible," he said, a small smile on his face. He pulled out of you, rolling onto his back and pulling you into his arms. He held you close, his hand tracing patterns on your back.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his voice soft. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for pushing you away, for hurting you. I'll never do it again, I promise."

[white-poppie]

𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ⎯⎯⎯ s.gojo x fem!reader (part 3/3)

SYNOPSIS — Your life was a mausoleum of sickening memories until light found you again at the end of the bleak tunnel, peering through his big cerulean eyes. Spitfires vanishing till you found your everlasting effervescent flame. And that's how it ends, because you still have your youth.

💿 — Mia and Sebastian's theme from La-la land

TW —breastfeeding, pregnancy, post-partum, grief, loss, crying (obv), jealousy.

WC — 5k

Series masterlist Moon Child ⏮ ⏸ ⏭ Now playing: Part 3

“Hey…shh..it’s okay…I’m here.” He mutters as he winces, closing his eyes while the remnants of his best friend's cursed energy remain.

The next few minutes go by Satoru holding you to his chest, silently as you sob. Now he’s sitting in the front seat of his car, the tinted windows drawn up as he regardless looks outside cautiously while you feed a hungry Tsukiko.

Satoru’s gaze falls to rear mirror, his eyes briefly catching your tender expression when you look at Tsuki as she stays latched to you and an inexplicable warmth erupts in his chest. He cranks up the AC silently, noticing you’re sweating a bit while feeding her.

You can’t help but smile as he turns up the AC, he notices these little things, the things Suguru should have been here for.

You sigh and lean on the headrest of the car, the smell of the faux leather making your head pound harder after crying. Tsuki suckles with soft whimpers, her face covered by your t-shirt. "It’s strange isn't it?" You murmur. "You are doing few of things Suguru was supposed to be doing for his daughter..."

He’s quiet for a long moment before he finally speaks, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s his loss. He missed out.”

You look out of the window, tears pricking in your eyes yet again. Your eyes burn from crying, yet it seems as though gotten used to it, gotten yused to the uncomfortable warmth of excessive tears burning down your eyes.

You tell yourself you’ve gotten immune to heartbreak but image of Suguru tenderly holding Tsuki. His eyes filled with so much regret and pain like he would turn around everything if he could. It’s burned in your head. “I’m so tired, Satoru…” you whisper.

He’s quiet as he listens to you speak, his heart breaking as he hears the way your voice cracks again and how your words carry such a sense of exhaustion and pain, like you’ve been carrying burden that no one could understand. You’re not the same person that you were when you were just shy of seventeen. You’re not the same girl that he used to know at sixteen and he knows that better than anyone else..

"I feel so lost- I no longer know what I am working for. There is this anger that bubbles in me, This vile feeling of resentment towards everyone, everything...hell sometimes even towards Tsuki." You choke, "I feel so selfish for thinking all this when I have a sweet daughter. I hate myself that sometimes my mind conjures up this feeling of anger and blames this little girl who has no fault. I love her so much, but I can't help these sudden feelings."

His heart aches at the way you blame yourself, it all just feels so unfair. It feels…cruel. He can do nothing but sit here and listen to you talk it all out because you so clearly feel suffocated like you’re drowning.

"When he told me he was leaving the Jujutsu society. It felt as though my heart was being ripped apart, like I would stop breathing without him. I dug my nails into him. Clung to him that entire night. I got a call from Shoko in the morning when he had gone rogue and filled so many people. I wanted to rip my skin apart yet not wash the flesh he had touched" You sob viscerally, lowering your head in shame.

At times, it felt like you were living a bitter love song. Penelope unthreading the tapestry, grieving, loyal to gone Odysseus. Yet, ambivalent. Somedays, you unthread the tapestry, other days you beg Artemis to end it instead.

He can’t stop the feeling of pure agony bubbling in his chest, his throat dry. Your grief feels so real. So tangible. You’ve lost yourself to him. A part of you must have still been hoping he would come back, as foolish as that hope was. He reaches out to gently take your hand in his. “It’s okay…it’s not your fault.”

You gulp, wiping your tears with your trembling hands upon realising Tsukuba is done feeding, you fix your shirt, wiping her mouth with a handkerchief. Her litttle features relaxed into a blissful expression after having her fill, her pouty pink lips making you smile despite your sorrows.

“Can I hold her?” Satoru asks suddenly hesitantly. The corners of his eyebrows upturned and furrowed almost adorably.

"You are asking as if you weren't the first one to hold her in the hospital." You croak out humourlessly and hand her to him and shift in the front seat beside him.

His face softens as a small smile spreads across his lips and he gives off a quiet breathy chuckle as he sees the way your shoulders soften and the small, weary smile that spreads across your face as you hand him the baby. His eyes are so gentle and loving as he carefully takes Tsuki and cradles her against his chest. The way he’s holding her, it’s so natural - as if he was born to be a father.

Your heart feels so heavy at the scene. Its supposed to be Suguru...Its supposed to be Suguru holding Tsukiko, not Satoru. But there's this swell of affection when you look at him cradle her. She's so loved...

"She looks so tiny against you." You whisper, The way they look like yin and yang makes your breath hitch. Tsuki with her black her and eyes and Satoru with his white hair and blue eyes. Suguru and Satoru—Yin and Yang—the strongest sorcerers.

His lips quirk up in a soft smile as he gently pulls Tsuki just a bit closer to his chest, his hand gently wrapping around the back of her head in a tender hold. “She really is a tiny little thing, isn’t she?” he whispers right back as he continues to softly stroke his hand across her back. “She’s so precious and fragile, like a baby bird.”

“”It’s both a blessing and a curse that she looks exactly like him.” You whisper looking at his strong arms hold the baby.

Satoru looks at you, her eyes softening with a mix of pity and affection for the child in his arms. “She really is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”

Your shoulders relax you take in a shaky breath, your head pounding like a those drums from from Physical education classes that banged rhythmically. Sighing you raise your legs up to your chest and lean the seat back.

The sight of you curled up in the passenger seat of his car, the car which, you’ve just about proclaimed as your property is so domestic to him that it hurts a little bit. “You’re tired,” he says softly as he continues to cradle Tsuki against his chest.

"Mhm." You nod as you look at him, eyes fluttering. "You should give her here or you won't be able to drive."

He lets out a sigh as he reaches over to gently buckle her into her baby carrier against you. His breath stutters as his fingers brush against your arms and he finds himself gazing into your eyes before gulping and drawing back.“She’s just so tiny and cute and precious, I just don’t want to let her go.” He mutters, his voice slightly deeper than intended.

You chuckle and carefully cradle her neck so she’s leaning against your chest "She's a very charming little girl." You press a kiss to her forehead.

He watches silently as your breaths even out in a semi- lucid state before he whisper to himself in response. “Just like her pretty mama.” He utters and starts to drive to your house.

The smell in the car is saccharine, your vanilla perfume, and the oddly sweet smell that comes from babies; combined with a heady mix of breast milk and baby products.

Tsukiko and you are settled and curled into his front seat as if you belong here. It's so natural. To think Satoru is being the haven Suguru could never be, he's picking up cracks of you shattered, broken heart; you don't know what to call it, but it feels right. Unclear, whether it’s pity or friendship that makes him care so much for the girl and the kid his best friend abandoned.

You arrive back at you place as he helps you out of the car. You look at Satoru with heavy eyes, "Come in, I'll make tea." you say with a tired smile.

Initially, he thinks of rejecting, yet seeing your swollen red eyes and that weary slouch of your shoulder blades; he surrenders.

The little apartment that's less of a home but a sanctuary, its a cute tapestry of memories. Baby products are neatly kept, such as cribs, baby toys, polaroids of the baby, plants, and, in progress, a crochet baby hat on the couch and adorable little trinkets around.

But to you, as night comes it becomes a glum, cold sanctuary for the most part-- filled with reminders of Suguru. Everywhere. His large shoes were on the front door, his coat was on the rack, his picture with me was on the fridge, and his cologne was on the dresser. Almost everything of his is untouched the way it was, despite everything, you don't have the strength to throw out his things the same way he threw you out of his life.

The more his gaze lingers, his mind immediately drifts to the last time he came here; when Suguru was in your life. The house reeks of his memories. The place doesn’t look like a home, it looks like a museum that’s dedicated to the relationship you had with Suguru, almost like a shrine. The longer he looks at it, the more his chest aches. When he speaks, it comes out as a barely audible whisper. “Y/N...”

"Hmm?" You mutter slowly, tucking Tsuki in her crib. You walk back into the kitchen, your house sandals dragging across the marble flooring.

“Can I just…hug you for a second?” he whispers.

Your eyebrows furrow at his words, pausing midway while putting the pan on the stove. "Where did that come from?" You ask confused, but your voice softens immediately, turning into a whisper by the end of the sentence.

"I just…want to hug you right now.” he says in a tender, whispery voice. “You look like you need it.”

You gulp, keeping the pan down and wrapping your arms around him he leans down, his arms wrapping around your waist. A shaky breath leaves your throat at how warm he feels, your throat constricting and nose and cheeks feeling warmer. You close your eyes, a silent tear rolling down your cheek.

His arms slowly snake around your waist as he wraps you in, pulling you to his chest, cradling your soft, exhausted body and holding you against his larger, firm form. His eyes close as he feels you shaking in his arms, his embrace so tender that it hurts. “It’s okay,” he whispers softly to you. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

Your chest aches at how comforting his embrace feels. You are suddenly reminded of the way Suguru used to hug you- but for the first time, I push the thought of Suguru away quickly. It’s Satoru in front of you, not Suguru.

"I’ve got you,” he murmurs right up against your ear. “I’ve got you.” He lifts his hand to brush his fingers across your hair, his fingers running across your scalp.

You feel my heart beat faster inexplicably as you raise your head up to look at him. “Satoru, I need your help.” You whisper out as you gulp, briefly closing your eyes.

“Help me…help throw his things away please, I don’t have the strength to do it alone. it’s so haunting." You choke, "I want to move on, I want get better, in a more stable mental place for Tsuki, and I can’t do that with these reminders of him everywhere…” You vent out in one breath.

“You really…want to throw away all of his things?” He asks, his voice a mix of hurt, and relief.

“No.” You reply immediately, “but what other way is there? I don’t want Tsuki to grow up with me being an emotional wreck over a man who abandoned us."

Your eyes fall over to the tiny toddler in the crib, unable to peel your eyes from the beautiful girl.

"I want to keep everything of his, to look at them and grieve for a man who’s alive. I want to keep that damn scarf of his, I don't have the strength to remove his picture from my wallpaper, and his pillow that I sprayed with his perfume and hugged to sleep during pregnancy because his smell calmed me during morning sickness. It’s pathetic I know…but how long am I going to hold on?” You choke up, tears rolling down my eyes.

He feels his breath hitch at your words. He slowly lowers his head to rest his forehead gently against yours, his eyes fluttering shut as he breathes in slowly and trembles slightly as he gently pulls you into him, his breath trembling and catching in his throat again. “Oh, Y/N,” he whispers in a voice broken with emotion. “Oh sweetheart…”

For a second he wants to gather all of Suguru's things and keep them for himself on the other hand he wants to shatter everything. He's been like the same paradoxical situation as you, day in and day out. He's been a hypocrite. Telling you to move on when he could not get over his best friend. The only person he could ever confide in without being superficial, the only one who cared.

He's aching, just as much as you are. And he aches even more to see his first love so terribly broken apart by his best friend.

"I want us to heal, 'Toru." You mutter. "All of us: Me, you and Shoko. Of course the pain can never truly be gone, but we can't let our lives stagnant like this." You whisper, cupping his face in your palms, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare into his cerulean eyes.

He feels his heart skip several beats in his chest as he feels your soft, warm palms gently cupping his face, your eyes peering into his. He takes in a slow, shuddery breath and swallows again in an attempt to get rid of the aching feeling in his chest - the aching he feels for you.

His eyes glance over towards the crib, seeing the small infant that ties you to his best friend in the most undeniable way that he could never possibly compete, yet she draws him and you closer than ever. From the day he laid his eyes on her, he loved her.

He raises his hand slowly and gently rests it over one of the ones that are cupping his face, his fingers intertwining with yours. He holds your gaze for a long moment in silence, just trying to calm the thundering of his heart in his chest. He let his feelings sit in the backseat when you and Suguru started dating. It hurt, but the ache soon simmered and he accepted reality, he knew his feelings had never left and yet it didn't feel hard to think otherwise. Hell, he was ready to be Suguru's best man. He's finally letting himself be selfish.

"Toru," You breathe out shakily, unsure why you uttered his name like so. This feels like the precipice, the intermission of the movie of your life, right at the climax. These inexplicable feelings brewing in your heart are so heavy. You feel guilty, for letting yourself feel this way, for letting yourself move on-- to develop an affection beyond friendship for Suguru's best friend and your friend.

His heart skips a beat at the way you breathed out his name like so. It almost sounds like a plea, almost like a desperate beg. Toru. It never felt this good, never felt this right, for you to say his name like that. It's so good to hear the way his name sounds when it leaves your lips, your lips that he has never once touched.

His throat aches as he leans down and captures your lips against his own he's wanted this for so long. For so so long he's ached for you. Satoru knows its wrong, you're both vulnerable, but he feels like he would break and sob like a child if he doesn't embrace you. If he can't love you. Its physically impossible for him to control his affection anymore. His nose is red, eyes burning.

A gasp leaves you as you freeze, your fingers clenching into fists. You stand unable to react, frozen still. Your heart beats in a sickly rhythm at the confusion swirling in your chest.

He swallows thickly and instantly pulls back, his eyes wide as he looks into your shocked expression. He takes in a shuddery, shaky breath. He's a idiot, he's an absolute idiot. He knows you don't feel that way about him, knows you're still broken over Suguru, and yet he still kissed you.

"I-" You stutter, your heart shattering at his slightly red eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry..." You breathe out, unable to utter anything else. You want to pull him in again, to kiss him with the same tenderness. His glassy eyes make you sick, but you are not sure you can do this to him, not when you are so conflicted about your feelings...he deserves better than that.

He shakes his head adamantly, his hands trembling slightly as he gently reaches up to place them on your shoulders to keep you at a distance. He doesn’t want your pity. He can’t take your pity.

"You don’t—" Satoru whispers shakily, his eyes still burning. "You don’t have to feel sorry for me. Please, don’t pity me because I feel this way for you."  

"I don't-- I don't pity you 'Toru, not a bit. But you are not a replacement, I never want you to feel like that. I am- there is so much to heal in my heart, I don't think I can love anymore. I am so damn scared after all that I went through." You breathe out reaching to him hesitantly. "You deserve better than whatever mess I am right now."

His heart shatters even more as he feels the way that you demean yourself so harshly - you have no idea how much you're worth. You have no idea how many times he's had to restrain himself from kissing you, holding you, loving you - so many times he's had to tell himself that he has no right to try and love someone that's not his. But his heart is a fragile, weak thing in the face of your sorrow.

"Your daughter needs you," he whispers, his voice cracking a bit. "You're amazing.

“Would you give me time to heal Toru? For myself? For Tsuki? Maybe even for us.” You whisper with a soft voice. “I want to reclaim myself, I’ve lost that ambitious girl somewhere, I want to get her back before I can ever try to find love again.”

.

6 months pass by in a blink of an eye, wasn't she born yesterday? Tsuki's already 8 months old, its a bittersweet feeling. Yet somehow when you think of the times your blood used to run cold when someone mentioned Suguru when you trying to heal; it reminds you how long the year really was.

Those six months were a lifetime for you and Satoru too. He was there all along, for you and Tsuki. He watched you grow and change - every day, every moment, he witnessed the way you healed and slowly came back to yourself. And with each day that passed, the more that he found himself completely and hopelessly in love with you.   

You smile, wrapping the scarf around Tsuki as she sits in her stroller, wide-eyed, observing her mama dressed up differently. A red, velvet a line dress. It feel so weird to wear old clothes again, like watching yourself in your middle school yearbook pictures, cringing at how you looked, but feeling warm as you remember how truly happy you were.

You gulp, fixing your hair for the nth time, waiting for Satoru to pick you. You roam nervously in the apartment, wound like a spinning top and you jump when the bell rings.

You quickly walk up to the door, there he stands in his glory, in a tailored Italian suit, an Armani watch, his fluffy white hair parted at the side with a bouquet of peonies in his nimble hands.

And he freezes just as you do, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing up and down trying ti muster, suave words of praise, but nothing leaves his starstruck self.

“You look so handsome, Toru.” You say fondly.

He slowly holds out the bouquet of peonies for you as his eyes scan over you again. His voice feels weak, barely a whisper as he speaks to you. "Look who's talking."

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.” You say taking a sniff of the fragrant flowers. Your heart feels warm, despite the chill in the air; warm toasted bread with sweet milk tea in the sheets, an odd sense of euphoric comforting.

"Just beautiful things for a beautiful woman."  He says, finally with his flirtatious grin which causes you to roll your eyes.

You chuckle and look over at Tsuki. “Let’s wait for Shoko” It’s the first time she’d be away from you, she’s too small, too tiny, it makes you anxious for her to be anywhere except in front of your eyes. This is the first time you've ever been apart from the infant who's been attached to your hip since she was born.

"Shoko's a doctor, she'll take good care of her. It's just for a few hours, sweetheart."  He says, interrupting your thoughts.

Soon enough, the bell rings, and the tired woman makes her way in. You go over the same things, same scenarios multiple times until you feel relieved and Shoko on the other hand, exasperated.

"And for the love of god don't smoke around her," you say and finally hug her. "Thank you for doing this Shoko."

Shoko freezes as you suddenly hug her; for a moment, she feels as though her eyes are getting bleary after seeing you smile so brightly after so long. "All good..." She murmurs, unknowingly tightening her grip around you.

"Let's go," you whisper to Satoru, holding out your hand. For a few seconds, he just stands still, unable to form a coherent emotion at the sight of your hand extended to reach his. Gulping he intertwines his large fingers into your palm. the path to his car feels sacred, intimate; he feels as though he's holding you as you walk down the aisle to him. It's an exaggerated, delusional reverie that makes his chest all tight.

The ride towards the restaurant is mostly silent, with you looking out the window and watching as the world passes by like a blur. Satoru steals a few quick glances at you every now and then as he drives, feeling the familiar ache in his chest everytime he looks at you in your beautiful, beautiful red dress.

"You look beautiful, you know that?" He whispers, his voice hushed almost as if he's afraid if he speaks too loudly, the moment will be shattered.  

Your eyes soften at his reverential tone, you tilt my head, staring at him. "You've told," you answer. "But I like hearing you say it."

"I'll say it till you get sick of it," he says with a soft chuckle, his bright cerulean eyes undoing all defenses, all inhibitions. They shine so bright, like stars.

"I don't think I can ever get sick of it," You whisper. It's peaceful, you realise. Not the wild, passionate sort of love you experienced with Suguru, where the flame was brightest before it blew. But this feels like a soft light, whispering in the dark, ebbing the strongest shadows away. It draws you in like a moth to flame. This tender light ignites my very being from the dull, colourless life you were trapped in. You never realised that what you wanted was warmth; you hunted it in a spitfire, but found it in an everlasting flame.

His heart skips a beat at your soft, but honest words. The car slows down as the light turns red, and he takes the opportunity to take a good a long look at you. You are sirenesque, it takes his breath away. He finds himself leaning closer, red lights of the signal reflecting off his face. The soft jazz he put to sound fancy is all static under your gaze. He is all static under your gaze.

Both of you flinch as a car behind you honks, pulling the two of you out of your reverie. You realise the light has already turned green and clear you throat.

He lets out a soft sound before he starts driving again, looking ahead at the road to distract himself from the way his heart still pounds in his chest.

The restaurant comes into view as he parks the car with a sigh. 

You smile as he helps you out of the car. It's a fancy restaurant, the kind you'd see in old Hollywood movies where the main characters take the heroine and a cute song starts playing. You wait for your orders, and there's an awkward silence; neither of you speak for a while. A mix of embarrassment and nervousness blended in with being clueless about what to talk about.

"So...I was thinking," he begins, his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage as he fiddles with his fingers. There is a moment of hesitation as he looks up at you for a second, his heart skipping a beat at your calm expression. He gulps and decides to say it, his words leaving him in a low murmur - barely above a whisper. "Wanna dance?"

"Dance?" You question your eyes fluttering in confusion as you look around and then back at him as if to question, 'here?'

He nods as his nervousness melts away into a small, genuine, bashful smile as he stands up and gently extends his hand towards you from across the table. "Yeah...dance." He mutter, his heart feeling a bit lighter at your innocent question.

He looks at the small dance floor in the restaurant, not even a whole dozen couples dancing on it. "Just one song." 

"Alright, until the food comes in." You smile tenderly and take his hand as the two of you walk to the small wooden flooring. You look up at him as he wraps his hand on your waist, another interlacing with yours. And the song plays, ironically enough, Mia and Sebastian's theme from Lalaland, and you roll your eyes. it's a fancy restaurant; they should at least play jazz or something. Nonetheless, you sigh and just look into his cerulean eyes, and your heart pounds in your ribcage.

He can't stop the way that a small chuckle leaves him at your eye roll. He is in utter bliss in this moment, being so much closer, so much more intimate than he'd been with you in ages: everything around them feels so surreal.

You two dance at first, for a few minutes, a sophisticated pair dance before the two of you just sway, eyes peering intently into each other. The light is dull, dim, centered just at the floor, but nothing shines brighter than his hopeful, loving eyes, and you can't help but feel like you are melting as he holds you in, swaying to the music.

He holds onto you as tightly as he can, his eyes never leaving yours, his breaths growing more labored with each passing second. He can't help but be utterly enamored by you. He can just barely hear his own voice over the sound of his own rapidly beating heart. "I love you." 

Your eyebrows furrow at his admission again, and you can't help but huff out a fond chuckle. He's so sincere, despite all, despite how torn you were, despite how you had hurt everyone, including yourself. He's been there. He's been there and made you realise you don't have to beg for someone's love. It's not transactional as it was with Suguru. "I've made you wait for so long, haven't I?" You whisper, your eyes a little bleary looking at him.

The corners of his eyes crinkle with your huffed chuckle. He smiles softly as you speak, his hand on your waist gently caressing your body lovingly. He smiles and reaches his hand up to caress your soft cheek, gently stroking your skin with the rough pads of his fingers.

"Forever." He mutters, his own eyes slightly glossing over as he looks at you. "You could've made me wait forever, and I still would've waited."

You wrap your arms tighter around him and lean up to kiss him, eyes fluttering close. He tastes like mint; its sweet, and it soothes you so. You let out a shaky breath, and he leans in and kisses you tenderly at first, but then with an adolescent vigour that has you dipping in his arms.

You can't help but giggle at his excitement, somehow, the sound gets him to tone it down, tender and soft, his fingers shaky. You part away to breathe and chuckle fondly. "You've got lipstick on your lips." You shake your head and wipe his lips clean.

"We still have a dance to finish," You say as I keep your hand back on his shoulder, and start to sway, laughing as he spins you around

Outside the restaurant after a late night tussle of the girls begging for icecream and him giving in, Suguru walks with Nanako and Mimiko. Their little hands holding the ice cream he brought, trying to not make it drip.

"Geto-sama, isn't she the woman in the photo frame?" Mimiko points out cluelessly to through the glass to you and Satoru dancing. A woman she's only ever seen through the photo frame he keeps close to him, fondly smiling at the,mystery woman that the twins love to inquire about.

"Hmm...?"

Suguru looks towards the glass, and it takes a few seconds for him to process what he sees. He sighs. It's hard to breathe, but you look so radiant it's like life is back in you. It's so different from when he last saw you six months ago in the grocery store. You looked like your world was crumbling down; you were tired, depressed and alone with his daughter you gave birth to. "Yeah." He says with a smile, his voice heavy.

"That's her."

He keeps looking at you, his smile still on his face as he stares at the sight of the two of you on the dance floor. He can't explain the feeling he has in his heart: hollow and heavy, a feeling of losing something he had and messed up so terribly. The feeling of watching you fall in love with someone else, while he still is in love with you. 

But this is different. He looks at your smiling face now, and all he can feel is a strange sense of peace. His chest feels tight, an inexplicable pang of nostalgia and loss as he watches you dance with his best friend, but the pain he feels in his chest is replaced with a strange sense of acceptance.

It feels nostalgic, you're dancing with Satoru the way you used to with him, old jazz music playing as you stood on his feet and he swayed you around, sneaking kisses on your soft lips, your arms wrapped around him. But just as he remembers these memories, he is reminded of what become of your relationship.

It hurts like crazy but still doesn't compare to the soul-crushing guilt he felt when he saw your in the grocery store with Tsukiko, the baby of his love that he left unknowingly and despite knowing her existence, he was far too gone to step up. All he can remember is the utter agony you held in your eyes when you stood with that little infant so tired, so terrified. He made you go through hell.

The two of you finally stop with the dance. You glance away for a second and freeze as your eyes fall onto Suguru. Your lips part, feeling these conflicting, wretched emotions of anger and bitterness.

He is stoic before he breaks into a smile, a content, tired smile. The smile you give to someone, a goodbye, a good-luck, a smile of nostalgia and well-wish.

You breathe out as if you feel a burden off you existence, your lips twitching up to a smile too.

He looks at you and then glances at the girls, and something in him just wants to approach and hug you so tightly, ask for forgiveness and stay like this, all of you together again.

And yet, when your lips twitch into a smile at him, he smiles back, lifting up his hand to wave softly before walking away.

Life didn't end when he left, though it seemed like it would. Sometimes, we find escapes closest to us, but grief makes us blind. Satoru and Shoko were there to help, but drowning in the agony of loss you didn't find the strength to reach. The point is, no one can help you, unless you want to help yourself.

And once its over, one day you'll find yourself at crossroads with your past again. And its then you'll have courage to look it in the eye and smile, because that's how it goes:

Aches of present become memories of past:

a testament of Our Youth.

[riaki]

nice boys and sour hearts | satoru gojo x reader

wc: 4.6k cw: minor swearing, he refers to u as 'momma' once (its normal i promise) n i think thats about it post suguru defection, shoko typical smoking ; no established relationship b ur def more than friends

i didnt want this angst to be too intense so i made it super duper fluffy. hopes it tastes like strawberries to u cs it does in my head ; another one of those fics i whipped up to meet the weekend deadline b i’m actually proud of this one not proofread!

satoru hates arguing with you.

it bites at him; twists his heart from the inside out in such a gut-wrenching way that he can hardly stand seeing your nose wrinkle in frustration and your eyes narrow with impatience, let alone hear the words coming out of your mouth, dripping with venom and irritation directed at him. he's never been used to being on the receiving end.

it tastes sour; bitter on his tongue in a way he's never been accustomed to. his tastebuds only recognize the sweet taste of fruit syrup, powdered sugar, or warm chocolate as home; he never indulges in the bitter, like the black coffee the kid he took in seems to like so much. but he'll take the silly sour lemon drops with sweet cream in the center, only because they remind him of you. you, so sweet when you love but sour when you're annoyed, which happens to be now, in this instant.

of course, he'll tell himself he doesn't mind. that sweet and sour have always gone nicely together. like strawberry lemonade on hot summer afternoons when the both of you have had enough of being stuffed into a clammy hot classroom with your musclebrain teacher. sometimes its the three of you, maybe even the four of you if you get lucky with the pixie stick trade offering (a healthier alternative to a cigarette, you both agreed on). but nowadays, it was only ever the two of you. the bitter had chosen his own path, and tangy was locked up in the infirmary sun up to sun down.

but right now, you're upset with him. and he absolutely despises it— to him, it's abhorrent. a strong word, but it's only fitting. but he can't help it when your conversation lingers in his mind, spinning itself a web of self-doubt and hurt and anger as he slips his gym shoes off and redresses himself by the school lockers, running a hand through his hair with a forced, annoyed exhale.

it was nothing big, really. or at least, that's what he thinks. you'd been in the gym after school, watching as he messed around with the basketball, seeing how long he could go dribbling by himself with a bump of his knee there, pushing it to the floor with his hand and watching it bounce back up with mild interest. he had no one to play with, but at least the ball would come back up no matter how much he pushed it down.

it was small. barely worth fussing over.

he had already been irritated. it was hot out, because summer was coming around. sweat beaded on his neck and rolled down his chest, seeping into his shirt as he wiped his forehead and made another shoot at the hoop, landing back on his feet with a soft thud as the basketball rattled around the rusted metal ring and fell through the net for the nth time that afternoon.

a hum of approval comes from your throat, followed by a loud whistle of contentment from him as he watches the ball bounce on the floor. he hikes his sunglasses up his forehead, bringing an arm up and wiping away the sweat on his cheek with his sleeve as he turns to look at you.

"that was pretty good, yeah? i think i deserve a celebratory smooch. lay some sugar on me, momma'." he laughs, loud and arrogant. you just give him a pointed look at that, but he ignores it as a sign for something wrong and only acknowledges it as your dramatic endearment. like speeding up at the sight of a yellow light in hopes that you'll make it instead of slowing down at the warning.

his shoes made squeaking sounds on the gym floor as he made his way over to you, swiping his shades off his face and sliding them onto your forehead, nestling in your hair as he grabbed a rag from the bench and wiped the sweat from his jaw. you have his uniform jacket on your lap, the yellow button glinting in the dying sunlight filtering in through the windows, reflecting off indiscernible flecks of dust in the air.

you had watched him with quiet contentment, observing the languid way he moved, graceful like a dancer moving in water. but then, you seemed to remember something; his lips pressed into a thin line, tilted to one side in anticipation. it made you hesitate— he always knew when you were about to speak before you even opened your mouth. he had come to notice, and appreciate, little things about you like that.

"were you smoking with shoko?" you had asked him. he tilted his head, eyebrow cocked up as he made a face. "no, i wasn't. why d'ya ask?" he huffed, watching from the corner of his eye with mild disinterest as the basketball, still rolling from his previous goal, bumped into the wall. cocky as ever.

(he wouldn't even look you in the eye when you were being dead serious.)

you reach a hand into his jacket, fishing around for something in his pocket; that gets his attention. who knows what trinkets and candy wrappers he has in there? and he'd hate for you to send him to his yearly checkup early again; the nurses always try to coddle him, and he has half a mind to charge for battery. nevertheless, he almost mistakes what you pull out for a lollipop stick. but it's not— it's a cigarette; a white papery hit of cancer with a dead cherry. certainly not a wise idea to keep that in his pocket among the other very flammable wax wrappers and the occasional flower petal, but who were you to judge? you, who's lips pucker like they've just tasted lemon juice when he eyes the unlit cigarette, utterly unamused.

he knows that you know it's his; the subtle glistening of pink around the end points to the gloss on his lips; he can practically taste it on his tongue. he wonders if you'd put the cigarette to your mouth too if you could have a sample of his lipgloss; then again, you could always just ask for a lip-to-lip taste, and he'd indulge you without a second thought.

you twist the cigarette butt between your fingers so that he can see the remnants of faint strawberry pink on the edges. he just rolls his eyes with a loud huff, leaning his weight back on his heels and shoving his hands in his pant pockets.

"yeesh. you're such a goody two shoes, y'know? how come shoko's allowed to smoke 'n i'm not?" he drawls, an arrogant lilt to his voice as he sticks his lower lip out. you can see a matte spot where the gloss had been transferred to the cigarette paper. you just sigh exasperatedly (he feels like a kid when you do that) and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. his jacket bunches up in your lap.

you tap the cigarette to his chest a few times; it makes a soft thumping sound against the fabric, and for a moment he's grateful of the noise; it sounds just like the way his heartbeat picks up with each touch, but you don't hear it. he wonders if you ever will. maybe one day, when there isn't so much distance between you and he has the opportunity to tuck your head to his chest, right over his heart.

"it's not that i care about the lung damage, idiot. why were you smoking?" you asked, voice softening. and he absolutely hates when you do that, because it always pulls on his heartstrings and brings a flush to his face, the way you treat him. he thought that if you did it enough, he'd be sent to the doctor for heart palpitations instead of a sweet tooth.

he doesn't answer you at that. how could he tell you, when he knew all that'd result from it was a thorn in his side? you, being the rose. so beautiful but awfully prickly and unfairly sour like a lemondrop with a sweet inside. then again, he'd much rather have your interrogating care than lose you, like what had happened with the reason he was trying out smoking in the first place.

then, it happened— your voice went unbearably soft, like puffy white covers and featherlight pillows with silk covers on a saturday morning, looking out the window to see pink tulips against a cloudy blue sky as the sun streamed in. it almost made him want to clutch your hand over his chest and see if you could feel the way he was reacting. no doubt, it was filled with such patient tenderness; all-encompassing sweetness it made him want to cry. so he coughed to cover it up, averting his gaze and bringing one hand to his face to absentmindedly smooth down the strands of damp white hair hanging over his eyes.

"thinkin' about suguru again, are you?" you asked gently, tucking the cigarette back into your pocket—yours, not his—and reaching out to take his hand.

his lips parted ever so slightly, gaping like a goldfish. he knew he looked silly, and he should've been okay with that— because being vulnerable with you, out of everyone he ever knew (with maybe the exception of one) was easier than breathing; came more naturally to him than his gravitation to a challenge. the same could be said for sweets.

(maybe he'd have to re-evaluate his proclaimed taste, then. since you were more sour than sweet.)

but this time, he wasn't okay with it. it had been hard to talk about what had happened with suguru one year ago since— it formed a nasty lump in his throat, bitter like black coffee and the wrong mix of herbs. it made him feel weak. reminding him of his shortcomings, which, in his mind, shouldn't even exist in the first place. but you never had a problem ripping his problems from the shielded cavity in his gut, bringing them under the operator's light to dissect and solve like a surgeon. forget about forcing him to the doctor's— at this point, you should be the one in the white coat, not shoko. he thinks about what you'd look like with blue gloves on your delicate fingers for a moment too long.

"what's it to you?" he snaps back after what feels like three years of his life. his fingers tighten around yours for a moment before he pulls his hand away abruptly.

the frown that lingered on your face from then on had been burned into his memory.

and, well, that was his mistake. it spiraled from there— because he knew what it was to you, and he hated that. hated that you could see straight through him like a cloud blue stained glass window; without rose colored lenses like the ones he always wore (the ones he rocked, he thinks).

a crack of thunder overhead jolts him from his thoughts; he couldn't even get in there to dust the spiderwebs away before being jerked back into reality. he clicks his tongue in disappointment, watching as the skies pry themselves open and rain begin to fall in the way it only did over heavy summer showers. he wishes the sky would stop its weeping, but even the strongest has his limitations.

but it doesn't matter. he has one of those cheap plastic umbrellas he'd bought from a convenience store one day in a late march many moons ago, during the brightest blue spring of his life. and so, he didn't understand why he was lingering at the door, swinging the umbrella around his fingers by the hook on the handle, watching as the rain fell with increased fervor. there was no plastic button to keep the folds tied up, so it floundered around with each swing like a tulip bent by monsoon winds. maybe on the coast of some faraway land with windmills and fields of flowers. he wonders if he'll ever get to see the world with you someday— a fleeting thought that crumbles instantly when he conjures your pretty face in his vision, clear yet distorted like a reflection on a glazed pond, rippling water from the dragonflies that skipped over the surface.

you were definitely still angry with him, because you hadn't showed— normally, you'd walk home together. sometimes with shoko, if she didn't leave early. angry words echo in his mind, the image of your downturned lips swimming in his bright vision as he watches the rain streak down the window panes by the lockers. there's a fog settling over the grass outside that's sure to leave dew after the storm. he wonders when that'll be.

"why can't you ever take me seriously? can't you see i'm worried about you?"

"of course i can. but i don't need your damn concern!”

...

he'd been sorely mistaken, that was for sure. loosing his cool and snapping at you wasn't exactly something he took pleasure in, either way. he leans back on his heels, tapping his foot impatiently as he holds the umbrella like a cane against the floor. infinity could probably do away with the rain. another reason as to why he's not even sure why he's waiting here, or why he's holding an umbrella. perhaps to keep in case he has to offer it to some poor, shivering and cowering young maiden lost beneath the shading of a bus stop behind a curtain of rain droplets, with a charming grin and a wink.

maybe.

a shuffle behind him catches his ear; he turns his head, an unamused expression on his face as his eyes drift over the empty room to land on you. the shadows beneath your eyes are prominent, and your hair is unkempt. there are sleep lines on your face; you probably fell asleep in a classroom somewhere, which is why you delayed.

it was evident you weren't expecting to see him, though— with the way your eyes widened a little before they dropped again, nose bridge wrinkling slightly as if you'd caught the scent of something unpleasant. your eyes left his, and he felt a little disappointed as he watched them wander toward the window, where the current downpour was prominent. he didn't like the way it made his chest pang when your attention was anywhere but him, so he raised his hand lazily, tilting his head to catch your attention that he so clearly craved.

"yo. got an umbrella?" he calls, tapping the tip of his budget cane on the floor. the thud is the only sound for a while as your gaze wanders back over to him; reluctant.

"no, i don't. i didn't expect it to rain so hard today." you responded quietly, stepping over to him with a small sigh. almost a little resigned, he thinks. he can't be sure, though. he never is with you. doesn't know whether to expect his candy to be sour in the center or the other way around; but maybe he likes a bit of uncertainty every once in a while. (not with you, though. if it means arguing? never with you.)

his sunglasses are hooked around the collar of your shirt. he doesn't know why it takes him so long to realize, but when he does, he has to clear his throat in an effort to hide the heat on his face and do away with the blush. "here. take mine. i don't need it," he says curtly, offering his umbrella to you. he wants to snatch the shades from your shirt, but he doesn't want anything to go wrong, so he just eyes them warily, careful not to let his gaze slip past into anything you'd be pissed at him for.

you eye him, eyes narrowed as you raise an eyebrow, but you don't protest. your fingers brush against his for a brief moment when you take it, shaking it a little before opening the door and stepping outside, opening it up. it looks like a little clear plastic mushroom cap over your head; you're short enough to constitute as the stalk in his eyes. it's a little funny, but he has to stifle the laugh bubbling on his tongue lest you think he's making a mock of you.

he follows after you, slipping past to stand at your side with his hands in his pockets. you can't help but feel a little curious despite your prolonged anger (you like holding grudges, he knows), so you sneak a glance upward to satiate your wonder. you don't expect him to look as breathtaking as he does.

the clouds are light overhead; they're not a heavy blanket of gray anymore, and a small strip of light manages to push through, shining on satoru's pale white hair. you can make out the edge of his undercut against his neck when the wind picks up a little, the color of fluffy white clouds on a lavender sunset with the sway of yellow flowers beneath an expanse of a bright sky. there's a little cat hair on the collar of his jacket; you realize with a faint flush that it must've been from when you were holding his jacket for him in the gym. somehow, the cat you have at home found its way to satoru. you hope your pet has become a matchmaking fortune teller, for the sake of your happiness.

what catches your eye the most, though, isn't the cat hair on his dark jacket or the faraway look in his misty blue eyes; it's the outline of rain water around him, a product of his infinity, you realize. he's dry underneath the downpour, and it never ceases to amaze you. it's like there's a soft glowing halo against the backdrop of tangled wires, gray walls and pale green bushes— he looks like an angel boy, school bag hooked and hanging over one shoulder.

eventually, you manage to peel your gaze away, and he notices— looks down at you, pressing his lips together and running his tongue over them. he can taste strawberry gloss.

wordlessly, you start walking. and he follows suit, rain bouncing off of him; you catch yourself sneaking glances from under the roof of your clear umbrella between raindrops that slide down the clear plastic. sometime during the walk home, he had gone off and gotten himself a drink from a nearby vending machine— the red can catches your eye, and your fingers curl around the rubber handle of the lent umbrella as you watch him drink; the bob of his adam's apple before he crushes the can up and tosses it into a nearby bush, causing a brief scattering of leaves and a downpour of collecting droplets onto the pavement.

despite the rain, the weeds between the cracks in the sidewalk still stay strong; they have deep roots. much like the way you never fail to scowl at him for littering. he catches it— of course he does. he's been praying for a sign you're not still so hopelessly angry with him that you can't even bring yourself to have a civil walk in the summer rain together. after the scowl, though, comes the smile— the one that always makes him melt in his shoes, much like the sunshine after the rain.

and there it is at last, he thinks. the hard sour coating melts away on his tongue, draining the taste of lemon to reveal a sweet, genuine center. all it takes is time. your lips curve up, and you duck your head, hiding the small bemused laugh that leaves you breathless.

"what are you laughin' at?" he huffs, glaring down at you. but there's no malice behind it— if only you could feel the wave of relief that's washed over him, a crest of white foam that leaves behind still waters reflected in the pools of sapphire in his eyes. nothing like the hit of numbing nicotine he'd shared in the shade of an alleyway with shoko earlier that day— away from the sun; away from you. hidden from both. or maybe they were the same— to him, he couldn't differentiate.

"i'm not laughing!" you protested weakly, immediately wiping the grin from your lips, and he regrets speaking up. "just.. i dunno."

you walk in silence for a little longer, content to listen to the rain lighten up overhead. satoru kicks a plastic onigiri wrapper out of the way, splashing up a puddle as a frown dampens his face when the wrapping only clings to his shoes. he's fine with getting a little grumpy if it means seeing you smile again. and even better, you laugh again— so sweet, like the chiming of bells in the wind's melody.

"please don't do that again." your voice sounds so very small when he hears it again, and he looks down at you from beneath long white lashes, the corner of his lips quirked up. the shape of them is almost cat-like, you think. he doesn't even know what you're talking about— a vague idea, at best— but he won't do it. not if it means hearing you sound so pathetically... sad. he doesn't like it. it's far too bitter for his taste. let the black betta you both used to know indulge in dark coffee and bitter cologne— satoru likes things sweet, like the cream surrounded by tea leaf matcha in the center of his mochi and fluttering feeling he gets when you run your hands through his hair, fluffing it up to your heart's content.

(as long as your heart is happy, his is, too.)

"i won't. happy now?" he sticks his tongue out, making a face. but you both know he means it— he hates breaking his promises to you. you smile when you look up at him again with a small nod, and he feels his knees wobble a little. he just hopes you don't notice. "sorry for lying. i just.. don't like it when you're mad at me. and you look at me like that," he mumbles under his breath, bunching up the fabric of his pants between his fingers. then, after a moment, "geez, you're so dramatic. quit carin' so much." he really hopes you don't stop, and it makes him feel like the world's biggest hypocrite. the strongest, but so weak for you.

"sorry, can't. the day you stop crushing your soda cans and littering is the day i'll stop caring, 'cus that won't be my satoru anymore." you tease. and he laughs, throwing his head back so you don't see the red that spreads across his cheeks, dusting his skin like powdered sugar on top of a strawberry crepe. he always wants to be your satoru, so he figures he'll keep littering. a few money fines here and there mean nothing to his undentable wallet, or the erratic beating of his heart, trapped against his ribcage in a feathery blooming of flowers he only gets from you and your pretty smile underneath the layer of lemony sourness.

you walk along the road for a little while longer. the rain has lightened, but it's still going— incessant, dripping from the leaves of trees and the knotted black wires overhead. he still has his infinity up, which means he can't pet the cat the two of you spot on your way back, but he's perfectly content to watch you do it. you scratch its chin, smiling at the way it purrs and nuzzles into your hand, and he wonders if he'd do the same if he was in its position.

he's lost in thought when you speak to him again, shoes splashing against murky puddles in the backdrop of a never-sleeping city; tokyo's bright skyline always makes your eyes go round with wonder. you say something, and he chuckles, warm and velvety. and then you realize what's been off with him this whole time— he doesn't have his shades on.

you slip them off the collar of your shirt, smoothing down the fabric before you reach over and attempt to nudge his arm. you don't think it'll work, because he still has his infinity up— and your sleeves are already getting spattered by rain that leaves darkened wet spots on the cotton. but to your amazement, your fingers make contact with his sleeve, and you watch in wonder as the rain actually falls— soaks into that little patch of wet fabric that you're able to feel on his arm. that he's turned his infinity off in that one spot so you could touch him. you spare a glance up at him, only to find his head angled away from you. you might be hallucinating, but the tips of his ears seem red.

you don't linger on it before you're tugging on his shirt with a frown, getting him to look down at you as you unfold his glasses and offer them over to him. he takes them quickly, and you don't miss the way the rain stops falling onto his arm again, back to bouncing off the invisible shield that protects him from everything (but you, it seems). he slips his dark shades back over his eyes, obscuring oceans of pure blue that seem like they've trickled in from the purest snowcaps on the distant mountains dotted with old red tori gates and shrines with scrapped paint. but you can't stifle the smile that spreads across your lips this time— giddy and fresh and filled with youth, blossoming like sakura petals in a spring that seems so far away yet so close with his presence by your side.

you don't say anything for a while. you're content to watch the rain wash down the pavement and into the gutters, past cute little coffee shops and parks with ponds as the droplets from the sky scatter the water in part of a never-ending cycle; watering the surface of the earth and bringing life that would soon spring up as shroomcaps and fresh dew on the clean cut green grass. you wonder what satoru sees through his lenses— though, you already know. you've worn them plenty of times before, when he insists on having your perfume cling to the frame for long missions he's sent on alone, when he can't have you hold his jacket, or his hand, or scold him for sneaking a smoke when you're not watching. that, and the extra lemondrops he keeps in his pocket; gifts from you that he's fought hard for.

you're more prepared to not feel any interference of his infinity this time when you reach over, and this time you don't go for his sleeve—yanking him close to you by his hand and forcing him beneath your umbrella. you feel the way he freezes up for a moment, but his fingers fill in the gaps between your own like its the most natural thing in the world, palms pressed together in a little breathless hug that leaves no room for the humid air.

"don't waste your infinity on the rain, dumbass. you'll fry what little is left of your brain." you scold him, and he just grumbles and scoffs angrily under his breath, cursing you as he hunches over and ducks his head to fit under the umbrella to negate his height. his hair brushes against the plastic roof of the umbrella, and his lanky limbs are still awkwardly sticking out, but his fingers tighten around yours and his thumb rubs over your knuckles, still a little damp from your earlier encounter with the rain, and you can't help but smile a smile bright enough to wash away every last bit of cloud in the sky. his personal sunshine.

even though he still prefers sweet things, satoru's come to like the taste of lemondrops. sweet and sour go well together, after all. just like you and him.

its okay if it doesnt taste like anything to u as long as u enjoyed it :) thanks for reading !! the black betta in question is suguru btw my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !

[revelboo]

I just wanted to tell you that I really love reading your writing. It’s really amazing. I’m always in awe of how quickly you write for SO MANY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS! AND YOU MAKE THEM ALL SO UNIQUE!!! It’s so cool, and I really love how you describe things too. I wasn’t really a Transformers fan before I found your blog, but you have completely converted me. I think “Everything Is Alright” was the first thing I read of yours, and I am just so invested in the Megatron Trojan Horse Pregnancy Arc. You’re brilliant, I hope that you have a wonderful day, and that you’re always happy, healthy, and loved.

Awww! Thank you so much! 💕 I’m just glad you guys like the weird way my brain works

Everything Is Alright Pt 120

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Giving up and laying your head against Star’s hand, the anger is a hollow pit inside you. And you’re not sure you can do this anymore. That you want to do this. Part of you just wants to go home. To pretend this whole mess away like a bad dream. You love Star and Soundwave. Are beginning to like Megatron even if he’s awful sometimes. But you’re just so tired of all of it. “I wish you hadn’t come back,” you whisper hating yourself for saying it and Star’s servos flex around you. Wishing that he’d just let you go that night. Hadn’t returned to your house and slept outside for you to find him. You’d have gotten over him, moved on. Eventually.

• Spark constricting, Starscream mass shifts and gathers you to him. Doesn’t care that he’s vulnerable right now, that his worst enemy is right there, staring at him. Doesn’t care about anything beyond fixing this. Because those bitter, hurt words lay him open, wound him deeper than Megatron ever has. “Everything I do has been for you,” he says, catching your chin and tipping it up. Lying like he always does and despising himself for it. “I can, I will, do better.” Even if he’s not entirely sure that he can. Maybe he’s too broken to change at this point, too far gone to trust anyone. Even you, but he can’t let you go either. As horrible as he is, you love him. And he wants to be worthy of that. Hoping that he’s not already damaged that love too much to repair.

• Hearing your broken ‘I can’t do this anymore,’ Soundwave can’t stop himself from reaching to press a servo against your spine. From mass shifting and settling at your back so you’re pinned between him and the Seeker. Feeling the warmth of you, the too quick beat of your heart. Knows Starscream is lying to you, trying to coax your forgiveness and he can feel your hurt. How had he not realized how unhappy you really were? Knows he’d been too focused on the Seeker, on protecting secrets and trying to arrange the pieces on the board so you’ll be safest, but not really paying enough attention to you. And he’s still horrified at how short your lifespan is. But he’ll figure this out. “Little one,” he croons, rubbing his masked face against you.

• Primus, what a mess. Watching both mechs whisper and murmur reassurances to you, he feels like an outsider. Like this is something not meant for him. Even if he’s fully bonded to you and carrying yours and Starscream’s sparkling, something that still leaves him irrationally furious. And you’re crying again, shoving at Starscream when he bumps his helm against your cheek. Watches you smack him, little fists lashing out as the Seeker just allows it and refuses to let go until you press your face against his neck. Everything so complicated because of you. Their mess spilling over to become his mess, but he can’t despise you for taking what he’d offered freely never imagining you’d accept. And that’s starting to really sink in. That you’re his now. His to protect and care for, that he’s fully bonded, mated. Something he’d never dared even imagine was possible.

• Neither of them will let go, both just holding on to you. Refusing to give you space. Holding on as the anger fizzles out into exhaustion. Wanting to hurt them because you’re hurting and it’s their fault. And it’s your fault, too. You know that all too well. Wanting things that you shouldn’t have. Not resisting when Starscream just tucks your head under his chin, Soundwave’s head on your shoulder. Caged by them, feeling their servos on you, clinging too tight. Looking up, you see Megatron just staring at you, his expression utterly blank. Maybe. Maybe you can all just start over? Maybe it’s not all so ruined there’s no way to fix it.

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[accio-boys]

lost in his dance | fiyero x reader

summary; you confronted Fiyero’s careless attitude, leaving him behind, wondering if he’d notice. btw here's the part 2 of the story.

The wind roared past the window, rattling the glass and filling Fiyero’s suite with a biting chill. Ozma Towers, with its grand halls and lavish rooms, felt colder than ever.

You sat at his desk, staring at the stack of neglected assignments and half-finished projects, the frustration boiling in your chest. You’d spent hours trying to pull him out of his downward spiral, but it always felt like trying to fill a broken jar—no matter how much you poured in, it leaked right back out.

“Fiyero, what do you mean you’re going to Ozdust again?” you called out sharply, hearing him rummage through his wardrobe behind you.

“You’ve been there every night this week with Galinda. Don’t you think it’s time to focus on your work? You’re failing half your classes.”

His laugh echoed from the other side of the room, light and careless.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he said, stepping into view with his shirt untucked.

“You’re always so tense. You really should learn to let go.” He leaned against the edge of the desk, his smirk infuriatingly lazy.

“I see I still haven’t corrupted you yet.”

“Corrupted me?” you snapped, turning to glare at him.

“Is that what you call this? Dragging everyone down with you? Your friends, your grades, your future? Do you even care about anything?”

His smirk deepened as he reached for his coat, moving with the same infuriating ease he always did.

“Of course, I care,” he said, his tone dripping with mock sincerity.

“I care about enjoying life. About living in the moment. You should try it sometime.”

“Living in the moment?” you shot back, standing abruptly.

“You think ignoring your responsibilities is living? Pretending nothing matters isn’t freeing, Fiyero. It’s pathetic.”

His expression flickered for a moment—just a moment. Something raw and unguarded flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before you could name it.

“What’s so wrong with not caring?” he asked quietly, his voice softer than before.

“What if none of this matters? What if it’s all just… meaningless?”

You froze, the anger in your chest dimming for a second. “That’s why you do this, isn’t it?” you said, your voice quieter now.

“You act like nothing matters because you’re scared it doesn’t. But Fiyero, hiding behind parties and charm isn’t living—it’s running away.”

For a second, you thought you’d gotten through to him. He looked at you like he might say something real, something honest. But then, with a shrug, his mask slipped back into place.

“Maybe,” he said, his grin returning, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“But at least I know how to have fun. You? You’re so obsessed with trying to matter that you don’t even know how to enjoy yourself.”

You stared at him, your fists clenching at your sides.

“Do you think this is fun for me?” you snapped.

“Do you think I enjoy cleaning up your messes while you throw everything away? You’re selfish, Fiyero. And I’m done.”

His grin faltered. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice laced with something you couldn’t place—confusion, annoyance, maybe regret.

You grabbed your bag and stormed toward the door, your chest heaving with anger and disappointment.

Pausing for a moment, you turned back to him, your voice cold and cutting.

“Do your own work for once. Or don’t. I don’t care anymore. I’ll just be dancing through life, like you said.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with bitterness. You didn’t wait for a response.

The wind howled louder as you stepped into the hallway, slamming the door behind you. It cut through your coat, chilling you to the bone, but you didn’t stop walking.

Your mind raced, replaying his words over and over, the ache in your chest growing with every step.

You told yourself you were done. Done with his excuses, his charm, and his endless refusal to care. But as the cold wind whipped around you, you couldn’t help but wonder if he even noticed you were gone—or if he’d just keep dancing through life without a second thought.

should I do a part 2? should I also do requests? what do you guys think?