#sometimes the bamboozler can become the bamboozled

[scoutswritingcorner]

Deerly Beloved PT.2

Alastor x GN!Deer!Reader

Part 1

TW:NONE

A/n: Cause some people asked for this. 

-🦌 Starting where I left off last time: Eskimo kisses are the only kisses he will give out in public or in the hotel. It’s just become routine for you both to do it to one another. He’ll bend down, tilt your head up by your chin and just give you little eskimo kisses before he leaves.

-🦌 If he’s actually going to kiss you, it will be behind closed doors and away from private eyes. He can’t get enough of it.

-🦌 He’s very suave. But he’s also equally as awkward. Like he can flirt with you all day but then you flirt back and he’s just standing there eyes wide and confused. 

-🦌 More awkward Alastor? He has trouble reading the room sometimes so he just kinda stands somewhere. (honestly me too bud-)

-🦌 If you have horns he’s either laying his chin on your head between them or trying to balance things on them. Please sit still, this could go on for hours. The last thing he could get on there was a marshmallow. (He cleans your horns for you don’t worry)

-🦌 This man is stuck to you like glue. Like- You could be doing your job around the hotel and he’s hugging you from behind and carrying you around. Charlie has to tell him to let you work. He gets grumpy.

-🦌 Sometimes he just stares off into space and he’s unresponsive for a bit. Prime time to get him back. Hang something on his horns and act like nothing happened when he clocks back into reality. 

-🦌When he gets mad at you for something? He stomps his hooves and walks off. It’s his way of throwing a tantrum without causing too much a scene. 

-🦌 He’s not up to date on modern slang at all so if he gets on your nerves bamboozle the old man with some weird slang and he’ll be confused for an hour or so until someone tells him.

-🦌 Fall asleep somewhere and he’ll sit by or near you to watch over you, he’s usually reading but he makes sure everyone in the room leaves you alone.

-🦌 He loves having you sitting on his lap, it’s solely because he likes comparing your hooves together. Like- you could be asleep and he’d be talking still about your hooves. He doesn’t take offense to you falling asleep while he talks, he’s grateful his voice soothes you.

-🦌 Like anything- he has deer tendencies. Like grooming you, he loves to help brush your hair and fix your clothing. He lets you do the same to him. It helps keep down his more animalistic urges. 

-🦌 I 100% feel like he knows how to braid, wash and help brush any type of hair. Whether it’s curly, wavy, straight, coily, thick, anything. If you ask him, he will help. His Mama taught him well.

-🦌 If you get self conscious of your horns falling out cause it does happen he’ll help in anyway he can. He will make a joke about you missing something though. Be aware.

-🦌 Once again, he loves playing silly little games with you. Like in my last post, a fucked up game of tag where he’s chasing you around the hotel cause he can or play fighting with you cause its fun. His other favorite game of his is hiding your things around the hotel.

-🦌 (Don’t imagine him in a white shirt, suspenders and trousers. Don’t do it gang.)

-🦌 Once again. He will pick you up if you take too long with something and he will be unapologetic. He’s got a busy schedule! (He’s getting restless).

A/n: This turned into me thinking about silly things he does and I’m so sorry. I got way off track..ENJOY!!

[danikamariewrites]

can i please request one where it’s azriel x reader. Feyre sees azriel wearing a ring on his left finger and asks,

” i’ve seen you wear that ring forever azriel, what does it mean? ”

” it’s my wedding ring ”

and her jaw drops bc she didn’t know he even had a lover.

” who is she? do i know her? what is she like? ”

he smiles faintly and says:

” her name is y/n and she isn’t a warrior like us, she works at a library downtown. you don’t know her, only rhys and cassian do. we have a house in the outskirts in velaris. she is very sweet and i love her more than anything, our daughter is- ”

” YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER ????? ”

he nods and tells them all about her, he asks if feyre wants to meet reader snd their daughter and feyre smiles and nods. He asks you in the mating bond if it’s okay to bring her, rhys and cassian to dinner. reader says yes and azriel tells her he’ll pick them all up tonight. You meet feyre and become friends instantly, nyx and their daughter become friends aswell.

” how did i not know this, i feel bamboozled ” feyre asks rhysand

” don’t worry i didn’t know for s long time either, Az is a very private person, he’s still a mystery sometimes, and i’ve known him for over 500 years” rhys says and laughs knowing your perfect for his brother 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️😭🥹😍

I’m Married

Azriel x reader

A/n: Az would casually drop “I’m married”

Warnings: none

Azriel rips his leather gloves off, dropping them on the kitchen island. The leather making a smacking sound against the marble. He laid his palms flat on the cool surface. Looking down, he smiled at the simple silver band on his ring finger with your name and the date of your wedding engraved on the inside.

His smile widened knowing that you were waiting for him to come home. All he had to do was fill out one more report for Rhys and then he could hold you in his arms.

Feyre walked into the kitchen humming a light tune, breaking Azriel away from his daydream of you. “Hi Azriel,” she said in that sweet caring tone. She walked passed him, lightly patting his shoulder. Azriel covered her hand with his ring clad one.

She grabbed Azriel’s hand to inspect his ring. “I’ve never really seen you wear jewelry but you always wear this. What is it?” A curious smile pulling at her lips. “Oh, it’s my wedding ring.” Feyre’s face falls into shock.

“What?” Azriel looks at her unsure what to say. “Erm,” “What!? You’re married! Since when? Who is she? Do I know her? Can I meet her?”

Azriel smiles at his over excited friend. Holding Feyre’s shoulders Azriel let’s out a small laugh. “I will tell you all about her if you want.” She nods rapidly and takes a seat at the island. Resting her chin in her hand Feyre looks up at Azriel excitedly.

“Her name is y/n. She isn’t like us, she’s more calm and…well I don’t know exactly how to describe it. She’s just perfect. We live just outside the city. I built the house but it was her vision. Our five year old daughter-“

“You have daughter! Azriel how are you keeping this from us?” The Shadowsinger shrugs, “I’m not keeping this from all of you. Only Cass and Rhys know.”

“Ok,” she says exasperated, “I want to meet them. Please stay for dinner tonight and bring y/n and your daughter. If that’s ok with her.” She quickly adds. Not wanting Azriel to feel bullied into sharing you. “I will ask.” Feyre squeals with excitement jumping from her seat to embrace Azriel.

Closing his office door he let out a nervous sigh. Azriel knew you’d say yes. But he was just so used to keeping you to himself, he was t ready to share you with his friends. Yes you have your own friends but this is completely different.

He knew this day would come though. After a hundred years it was inevitable. Plus it would be wrong to keep his little Malin from her cousin.

You could sense Azriel’s indecisiveness down the bond. Sending love down the bond made him feel lighter and better about asking you to the River House for dinner. “I can’t wait to see you my love.” Your soothing tone sounded through the bond.

Relaxing into his leather chair Azriel smiled to himself again. “I miss you. So much baby.” Azriel pauses before asking you. “How would you feel about coming to the River House for a small dinner tonight? And brining Malin too.” “I would love to! Do I finally get to meet Feyre?”

Your excitement calmed his nerves. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Rhys watched with amusement as Feyre rushed around the dinning room straightening out the napkins and plates. “Everything has to be perfect!” She said. “Darling, y/n is going to love you. It’s ok if one napkin corner is slightly crooked she won’t think less of you.”

She stopped, dropping her head as she gripped the back of one of the chairs at the table. Probably trying to get it as straight as possible too. “I know, I know. I just want her to be comfortable here.” Rhys walked over to her and pulled his mate into his arms, kissing the top of her head. “You’re so sweet darling.”

A knock and the front door opening had the pair breaking apart as Feyre rushed to foyer. Azriel had his back turned. Feyre cleared her throat and Azriel faced her and Rhys. Revealing a beautiful female holding a child on her waist.

You smiled at Feyre as you placed Malin on the ground. “It’s so nice to finally meet you Feyre. Everything you’ve done…thank you.” The two of you quickly walked to meet in the middle and embrace. “I’m so happy to finally meet you too y/n.”

Letting go Feyre crouches down to Malin’s height. “And you must be Malin. It’s so nice to meet you.” Malin curtsies. “It’s lovely to meet you High Lady Feyre.” She giggled and lightly pinched Malin’s cheek.

Azriel crouched down next to his daughter. “Mal, Feyre is your aunt. She’s married to uncle Rhys remember?” She nods her little head.

Nyx came running into the room followed by Cassian. “Nyx I want you to meet someone.” Rhys held out his hand to his son. Nyx took it as he looked around curiously as he stops in front of Malin. “Hi. We’re cousins.” She says excitedly.

The little boys eyes go wide and his eyes find her wings. “You have wings too! Wanna see my toys?” She nods and the pair run off. A smile tugs at the corner of your lips, your hand coming to rest on your barley there bump. You were four months along now with your and Az’s second child.

“Let’s go to the sitting room. Can I get you a drink?” Feyre links her arm with yours. “Water would be wonderful.” Sitting on a love seat next to Azriel Cassian comes over planting a kiss on your head and ruffling your hair. “It’s good to see you kid.” “You too Cass.”

“And how’s little Cassian?” You roll your eyes at him. “Cassian. We talked about this I’m not naming my child after you.”

As you banter back and forth with Cassian and Azriel, Feyre taps on Rhys’s mental shields. “Why did Az keep y/n a secret? Why don’t all of you know about her?” Rhys gave her a sympathetic frown from his seat across the room. She sounded dejected by the lack of trust between her and the Shadowsinger.

“Azriel keeps them secret to keep them safe. He has the most dangerous job out of all of us and Mother forbid an enemy found them. He would be distraught. He has many secrets my darling. Not even I know them all and it’s been over 500 years.”

Feyre sighs, holding your glass of water. She was happy for Azriel though. You clearly made him very happy. And the way he looks at Malin…gods that how her and Rhys look at Nyx. Azriel leans over to kiss your cheek and Feyre swears she had never seen him so relaxed and boyish.

[hannahssimblr]

July seeps into August in a yellow haze. The heat has stupefied the village, slowing all movement, the tourists wading through the humid streets with ice creams melting down their hands, the only kind of food it feels acceptable to eat. It hasn’t rained in weeks, since that first storm of summer, and the landscape struggles. The grass in the local pitch has shrivelled, and the earth has become a powdery dust that fills the air every time our football skims it. It keeps sticking to the sun cream on our skin. Every evening I need to wash an extraordinary amount of grit, dirt and sand out of strange places, like the creases in my elbows, and the webbing between my fingers and toes.

I launch the ball down the pitch to where Jen is bouncing foot to foot near the goalpost, and wander towards the sideline to mop sweat from my brow with the t-shirt I stripped off an hour ago. 

“You want water?” Claire O’Gorman holds her pink metal bottle to me. It jangles with the fluffy charms and beads clipped to it. I shake my head. Jen saw her kissing Shane last night at the front door before she left, so at least twenty percent of the backwash already in that water is bound to be his. I don’t tell her this, because if she doesn’t know what backwash is, I’ll have to go through the whole rigamarole of explaining it, and inevitably end up looking stupid, so I just shake my head.

“You’re running like mad out there,” she comments. “I don’t know how you’ve the strength in this weather.”

“You just endure it, I guess.”

“Hm, I couldn’t. I’m like a princess. I just really don’t like sweating and getting all out of breath. Evie is like you, though,” she adds.

I’m careful to arrange my features into a neutral expression. Claire has been hanging around with us every day for the last week, for reasons that nobody has explained to me, not that I have asked, but when I chat with her, I make sure that I never, ever bring up Evie. Teenage girls are detectives. They pick up on the tiniest facial expressions or shift in tone and use it against you.

I’ve been bamboozled before, and the last thing I need is for Claire to go home to Evie in the evenings and tell her, God forbid, that I asked a question about her. The multitudes of ways they could read into my body language makes me feel queasy. 

“Right,” I say in a bored voice, and scratch my armpit. 

“She’s always like, go go go! All the time, you know? Like playing tennis one minute, swimming the next, going on a mad run the next it’s like,” she rolls her eyes for emphasis, “take a break, girl, please, you know?”

“Mm.”

“I’ve been trying my best to convince her to come to that festival too, just to get away from the routine, but I can’t get her to give me any sort of answer about it.”

I frown. “Did you invite her to the festival?”

“Oh, was I not meant to? I kind of thought it’d be fun if she came, you know, so it’s not just me.”

“I didn’t know you were coming either.”

Her face drains. “Oh, well, Shane asked me, and I-”

“No, no, you can. Oh my God, obviously, I didn’t mean-”

“Right! Okay, of course, but like, I don’t want to impose on-”

“Just I didn’t know Evie might come, that’s all.”

“Well, yeah, I thought it’d be nice for me to have a close friend with me, but if you don’t want her to... like, she might not be able to anyway, so.”

“I don’t not want her to come.” God, why does this feel like a conversation two thirteen-year-olds would have? I swear I haven’t felt this juvenile in years, and I cringe, as though some other version of myself, the cooler Jude, is watching me engage in this conversation and groaning into his hands. Sometimes, these days, I feel like the cooler Jude is slipping through my fingers like handfuls of sand.

“She’s actually really nice,” Claire says with an edge of defensiveness. “I know she’s a bit quiet. I thought that when I met her first too, she was kind of known as the weird girl at school, but when you get to know her, she���s a really sweet person.”

“I know,” I say, my face burning. “I mean... she seems nice. I didn’t mean to imply that she isn’t. Please don’t tell her I think she’s quiet, or weird, or that I don’t want her at the festival or anything like that.”

“No, of course.”

“Because I do… like... think she’s nice, and it’d be okay if she came with us. I would even want her to, actually.” Shut up. God, please, shut the fuck up, you dickhead. 

Claire smiles and nods. 

“But don’t tell her I specifically want her to either, just… Don’t tell her anything.” Oh, line me up against a wall and shoot me, execution style. 

“I won’t.”

I bet she will. And I bet she'll tell her about about the smell of desperation off me, too.

“Turner!” Shane bellows. “What are you at? Your team mates are flailing over here.”

“Right, bye,” I tell Claire, and turn around quickly, unable to bear the embarrassment for another second. 

“Bye!”

As I walk back onto the pitch, I screw my eyes shut and thump my fist against my forehead. 

I’m toast. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[formulinos]

@topnotchquark mccanned didn’t answer you yet but i can!

Michael Schumacher is, as commonly well known, the best f1 driver that there has ever been and that there will ever be. amongst the reasons for it was the fact my guy would do quali laps during races because might as well and everything he did in hid personal/training time was with the goal of being as physically fit for racing as possible (to the point he tried to replicate his body’s responses during races while working out. because might as well.)

this is all to say that you do not win 7 wdc by sheer luck, it takes going to the next level. so as a treat, he would scheme. he would plot. he would lie. and he would bamboozle. some of it was through more direct action like whenever he tried to crash his car into his rivals’ to win a championship (worked w damon hill, it didn’t work with villeneuve bc people were homophobic - michael is part of the lgbt+ community since he is texassexual). but often he’d just focus on the little things, like working out in high intensities in front of drivers to make them feel bad about themselves or whatever nico’s claims were.

his main modus operandi however was usually running his mouth to the press according to his own personal narrative. for instance, when mclaren were doing good in the early 00s, coming off two wdcs with mika häkkinen, he needed to get someone there riled up so they would eventually fuck up. he couldn’t do that straight to häkkinen though, not only because he respected him but because mika was at the time equal to him in championships so ppl knew they were close in talent and above average overall. luckily, mclaren’s second driver was david coulthard, who was mid but thought he was capable of beating both mika and michael. well, when ppl asked ANYTHING about david to schumi he’d straight go like “the guy who thinks can wipe the floor with me and my beloved mika? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA-“ and then ignore the rest of the question. this was totally personal as david took part in the aforementioned homophobic takedown of michael in 1997 but also overall david was just mid and sometimes you have to bully someone to deflate their ego a lil bit. so david would get mad regularly and anger would lead him to be carelesd while driving and he would bottle it. BUT ALSO even ron dennis (mclaren main boss at the time) would get mad and go to the media like “sshjuuuut upppp,.,,., david totally csn win the cuampionshippp i csn’t belive you michel!!!!!!!”. mika would just smile and agree w michael bc he too knew david was mid.

but michael wouldn’t just take people down. sometimes, he would raise them up just for the imposter syndrome of it all. like in 2004, a season where evidently ferrari had as a car the F-TITBLASTER9000 and michael would easily clean the house, he would often say that BAR Honda (who in all fairness were in a great phase) were gonna catch up to them and eventually win a race later in the year. to which jenson button legit had to respond like “mate you know this is my first year taking this sport seriously and the other driver on the team is literally takuma sato. we’re not winning shit this championship and you know it”. and yes he did. BAR ended second but they never won a single race.

he even tried to run his mouth on ayrton senna after a on-track dispute saying that it wasn’t a “behaviour fit for a WC”. but he was just a rookie while senna was an expert on the game, so he went there and gave michael a tell-off in front of every single camera on the paddock, live (you can check on youtube, too lazy for links today sorry!). michael learned from it and perfected the art of media shit talking. he is missed everyday as the closest we get to michael antics is helmut marko’s wild claims and they’re not half as entertaining.

anyway this is what i remembered there are probably more examples. welcome to f1, hope you enjoy the sport! your new missions as a newbie is to become part of the tifosi and try to soak some more of the history of formula 1 overall bc it will help you detect who is talking shit around the fandom! if you like some weird stories, consider my pinned essays :)

[hollowedtime]

randomly appears because someone wants me to

twst characters x gn! violet baudelaire! reader. scenario format.

characters: adeuce, azul, jade.

@psychicpoetrybeard i am an AWFUL writer but hopefully u can tolerate the cringe. reader is of NRC age. ace and deuces part can be read as platonic or romantic. PLS TELL ME THE “READ MORE” WORKS IDK GOOGLE ISN’T HELPFUL

CWs: mentions of a house-fire.

♠️ aduece duo ♥️

the intelligent one among the useless cretins

the brains among the blockheads

riddle has requested you to keep them in check personally, it’s like they agree to anything because they KNOW it’s a good idea if it’s yours.

ace calls you a nerd 24/7 so you worked for a few hours to make a contraption that punches him in the side of the head everytime he sets foot in ramshackle

deuce is the favourite child. you ended up informing him that chickens just don’t come out of unfertilised eggs or whatever and the look on his face 😭

one day, you sort of let it slip that your parents died in a house fire and you lost practically everything, and how the fortune and a few other things were all that you had left. not to mention how this count olaf guy kept trying to steal it all.

you never saw ace that serious, and deuce that sad. they comforted you and genuinely respect your mental fortitude to keep going. you allowed them to use the spyglass when the three of you become very close, around when the scarabia chapter finished.

🐙 azul

you do NOT fall for his scam. in fact, you call it out. when he tries to send the tweels after you, you know how to evade them each time. you really piss him off, you know that?

chapter 3 goes by a lot quicker because of you. when you come up to him saying you’d like to rethink the contract, he assumes he has you entrapped. of course he’s suspicious, but you just seem so desperate. and it’s his job to help poor, unfortunate souls like you.

and then you proceed to Bamboozle his ass

when he overblots, he’s surprised at how understanding you are. he expected a sneer from everyone apart from the tweels, but it was just kindness.

that’s where a develops a “minuscule” “fleeting” crush on you

(spoilers, it is not minuscule nor fleeting. you can tell.)

maybe, when you finally get into a relationship, he’ll show you his octopus form willingly this time, and you in turn open up about all of your struggles back at home.

you make him these mini inventions sometimes. he loves everything you do.

🐬 jade

you didn’t interest him too much at first, but a magicless human from triton-knows-where was enough to get him investigating. however you seemed very on guard, which was inconvenient enough.

he supposed he’d have to result to more invasive methods to sate his curiosity when you signed a contract with azul, but you had this… look in your eyes. he keeps quiet, but he knows you may be much more entertaining than he thought.

okay, he’s VERY interested now that chapter 3 is over. bro shows up at your house.

he sees all your inventions, and realises how easily you manage to survive in such a run down house. of course he doesn’t directly ask you, but while he’s attempting to lull you into a sense of trust, he ends up slowly but surely falling in love.

he finds it inconvenient. honestly too cliche, but a small part of him, that hopeless romantic part of him that came straight from his mother, tells him that he better put “have a candlelit dinner with you” on his bucket list.

once he finally worms his way into your heart, you have the guts and courage to tell him about all your struggles. he listens intently, complimenting how strong you are. when you tell him about count olaf and his subordinates, a sort of danger flashes across his eyes. it’s gone the next second.

he finds all your skills very interesting. it’s become a game between you two where he hides riddles in things he gives you and you decipher them.

when jade sees how you react to the sea, he questions the forlorn look in your eyes. he’s super understanding when you tell him it reminds you of your aunt.

once again, he marvels at how tough and smart you are. you are simply perfect for him.

…hopefully nobody can tell i accidentally played favourites 😃😃

it’s gonna take me 5 years to have the courage to post this 💀

[itookyoudown]

hi can I ask for more about your Ava thoughts?

hello yes hi i'd love to talk about more of my Ava thoughts while i'm still all up in my Ava feels.

Ava is such an odd character for me because she's as fascinating as she is frustrating. not a comfort character not the character i project not even the character i want to study like a bug not a blorbo not an anti-blorbo.

rather she's ... i don't know what Ava is too me. i have spent years processing her and thinking about her and i'm still not done doing it.

i have both sympathy and empathy for her (i too have been in bad relationships and escaped them) but i also refuse to let the self-recognition i see blind me to her faults and failings.

my feelings for Ava are about as wishy-washy as she is herself and are constantly in motion and shifting depending on which season or episode i've rewatched recently, simply because Ava is a top-tier portrayal of the Imperfect Victim and during the show even starts using what power she cobbled together to hurt others. she's complex and even indiscernible in some regards. she's both strong and admirable yet she's also pathetic and deplorable.

the circles of history etc etc.

i don't even particularly like Ava yet i also respect her character immensely and she's one of my favorite fictional women based not on vibes or her archetypes but rather her role in the narrative and the way she was written. Justified wouldn't be Justified without her presence. it even pisses me off that Ava wasn't introduced as a main character in her own right considering how the show ends with the narrative being shared between her, Raylan, and Boyd's viewpoints. but i digress!!

Ava is ... complicated for me. i love her sometimes and i hate her other times and that makes her a very Human character. i can't quite pin one feeling or take on her character, she's too big for a single label to fit on her.

i both cheer for her and boo for her. she bamboozled me during my first watch of the show and i also bought into the #outlawqueen #girlboss bullshit fantasy she was trying to live yet Ava is way more interesting outside of those empowerment fantasies. Ava stands up for herself and becomes her own hero in the end, sure, but upon rewatches of the show it becomes damn heartbreaking to see her actually depower herself with the way she sticks herself to a man. she's desperate she flails around she makes such poor ass choices it's mind boggling.

yet that's what makes her so great too.

i wanted her to escape Harlan alive (because she deserves it because no one deserves to die) because the good person in me wants her to survive to be free. and yet sometimes i almost wanted her back in prison (because she allied with Boyd and profited off the suffering of others same as he did, she sold out her home and stood on the backs of her people and parroted Boyd's hypocrisy) because the bad person in me wants her punished the wrongs she committed, even if i know two wrongs don't make right even if i understand the whole prison system is bullshit.

because Ava is such a Human character she brings out those conflicting an contradictory human responses in me.

but overall i'm happy her story ended the way it did and i'm glad Ava exists as a character, we needed more fictional women like her. Ava getting her fresh start out in California with her son while also having to hide for the rest of her life and NOT being able to live as herself was a very fitting end. it's so western-coded it's delicious.

anyways i don't know where i went with this but thanks for walking with me through it.

Ava Crowder née Randolph girl you are SO blonde and such a hot mess yet on a big brain meta-level i do adore you truly, i do 🖤

[enjoythesilentworld]

Simon's Month - Music (Room)

day 12! @youngroyals-events <3

Simon ran into Ex-Crown Prince Wilhelm in a campus music room in New York City, and they have started a tentative friendship. AU.

Or, a continuation of Music (Room) from Wille's Month.

read below or on ao3 (T, 2.9k) (cw: implied/referenced homophobia, referenced alcohol abuse)

Wednesday.

Simon is still a bit bamboozled that he’s somehow worked his way into a tentative friendship with the former prince of a country in which he no longer resides. Wilhelm has been a nice surprise, and the time with him in the Columbia University music room, which has quickly become something close to theirs after only a few meetings, is usually a nice escape from the slog of his day to day life. Not that he doesn’t like his life. Simon likes his life. Really, he does. He’s made it through most of his degree with little to no issue, learning a lot and attempting to carve out a space for himself in a country not technically his own. Columbia hadn’t been exactly what he was expecting. But, he enjoyed his classes (mostly) and had his friends scattered around the city and had just this year mastered his bodega order. The city was built for this, for new people to slip in from wherever and find their place. Sometimes, maybe, it just took a little bit longer for others. He had his choir group sponsored by the local community and his sweet boyfriend and his job at a music studio and his friends — Rosh and Ayub overseas, and Maddie and Charlie on campus — and the youth center where he often volunteered. There were, on paper, so many things going well for him.

There was still some barrier, though. Not necessarily a language barrier, as he spoke more Spanish here than he ever did in Bjärstad, or even in Miami, where he’d spent the latter half of his childhood. He loved the kids at the young center and felt good every time he left, like he was actually doing something. The choir group, too, allowed him to continue to perform and he learned something new from the elder members at every rehearsal. His job, while generally being tedious at worst and boring at best, was — allegedly — putting his foot in the door of the music industry. Yet, there was still some blockage, some fuzzy pane of glass barring him from feeling like he was really a part of any group. Sure, he loved his friends and his boyfriend, but it was never really like when he hung out with Rosh and Ayub. He can usually barely get a word in edgewise with all of Maddie and Charlie’s chatter, and Marcus, though typically an adoring boyfriend, was often seemingly more concerned with furthering Simon’s music career than their relationship. Simon often felt like he was performing with all of them, not even on purpose. A puppet of himself, or who he thought he wanted to be; the perfect friend, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son. Some mask he’d gotten stuck with. Maybe it adhered itself to his face the first time a classmate called him a slur on the playground or that last time he’d found his father face down on the kitchen floor. 

It sounded bad, all laid out like that, but Simon does still enjoy New York. The city never sleeps, truly, and there’s always someone up to listen to his rambling or a street vendor selling food or an open practice room on campus. His rented apartment is atrociously tiny but it’s his and is his favorite safe haven. The cooks at the food shop downstairs know him by name and usually don’t charge him for his morning coffee. It’s a good life and Simon would not squander his opportunity to make a life for himself here. 

Still, it’s nice to take the mask off every once and a while, because he feels no need to wear it around Wilhelm. Whether that’s a matter of the man himself or simply the enclosed space, Simon doesn’t know, and he also doesn’t care.

As such, so what if, on the Wednesday after their third meeting, he dips out of his lecture a bit early to make it to the practice rooms a little early. Although his time doesn’t technically start for another 20 minutes, he pushes the door open anyway. Inside, Wilhelm sits at the piano, leaning over his notebook at the piano, scribbling away. Simon can’t help but notice how elegant his whole aura is. While not quite as princely as he’d appeared in the media in the past, Wilhelm still wears nice slacks and pressed shirts. His hair is styled and gelled to sit perfectly atop his head, and even when he’s playing the piano he sits straight-backed and poised. It’s only when you spend a bit more time with him, as Simon has begun to see, that you notice just how un-elegant Wilhelm can be, but not in a bad way. Particularly, it’s noticeable right now as the man jumps at Simon’s entrance. He stands abruptly, knocking back the stool he was sitting on and dropping his notebook and pen to the floor. 

“Simon,” Wilhelm squeaks, straightening his shirt.

Chuckling, Simon picks up Wilhelm’s pen where it’s flown across the room and rolled to a stop by his feet. “Hi. Sorry, I’m not cutting into your time too much, am I?” 

He hands over the pen to a dazed Wilhelm and tries not to flinch when their fingers brush. 

“No, no,” says the taller man, bending to grab his notebook off the floor and righting the piano stool. “I’d hoped you’d come again.” 

“How’s the song going?” Simon asks, turning to drop his bag and hide the smile that’s growing on his face.

Wilhelm chuckles. “It is not going much.” He sits down at the piano again and scoots to the edge, an invitation. Simon takes a seat next to him, looking over the pages propped on the piano and ignoring where their arms press together. 

“Let’s see, then.”

For the next handful of minutes, they sit there together, going over different melodies and making tweaks to the composition. Their arms continue to brush together occasionally and Wilhelm apologizes when their knees bump accidentally. Eventually, they get a bit distracted and keep suggesting increasingly ridiculous changes. It slowly turns into a competition of who can make the most ear-grating combination of notes. 

“I’m sorry, is this— I mean,” Wilhelm suddenly sits back, “you come here to work, don't you? We’re not, like— Do you have something else you need to work on for class?” 

He sounds so genuinely concerned that it makes Simon’s heart squeeze a bit. 

“No, it’s okay,” Simon says. “I actually have had more free time at work lately, so I’ve been able to stay on top of most things. I come here just to escape, a bit.”

Wilhelm nods but still looks unconvinced. 

“This is nice. It’s more fun than being locked down here by myself.” Simon tries to instill his appreciation into the words. It had been nice to have some company. Despite Marcus’ supposed investment in Simon’s musical future, he sure didn’t spend a lot of time listening to Simon’s music. 

Wilhelm nods again. “It’s nice for me, too.” Simon smiles when Wilhelm glances up to meet his eye. “It’s been… Well, I don’t really know a lot of people here. It is nice.” 

For a moment, Simon lets Wilhelm’s words hang in the air and considers the other man. He understands how hard it can be to leave everyone you know and love behind to come to a new place. It must be even weirder for Wilhelm who also had his whole life, his whole future which had been planned and laid out before him, suddenly taken away. 

“That sounds… lonely.” 

 “It was lonely before. I am used to lonely. It’s not all bad.” Wilhelm shrugs, eyes flickering down to stare at his shoes.

“It’s kind of nice, in a way,” he continues. “Things were so crazy last year. Everything just happened so quickly, and Mamma was wrecked. There were somehow still a million meetings even though technically none of us had jobs anymore. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I barely remember any of it, to be honest. It was a whirlwind. So many people, talking at me, asking me things. I thought the attention was bad before, when I was still Crown Prince. But, after, somehow it got worse. There was always something to do, someone to talk to, some new article. It’s been nice to be here and to just have some… I don’t know. Peace. Indifference from the public.” 

While he was speaking, Wilhelm’s eyes had glazed over a bit, lost in memory. As he stares off into the distance, Simon watches his face, noting every tensed muscle in his jaw and emotion in his eyes.

“That sounds really hard.” 

Now, he watches as Wilhelm comes back to himself and flushes pink. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just rambling at you.” Wilhelm glances at Simon, embarrassed, and runs an anxious hand through his hair.

“It’s okay. It’s too bad you lost access to all those royal music tutors. Maybe then this song would be less of a mess,” he teases. Wilhelm’s shoulders lose their tension and Simon can tell he’s grateful for the distraction. 

“I’ll have you know the tutors loved me and thought I was a delightful student,” Wilhelm says, lifting his nose in the air and somehow shifting his entire aura to be incredibly regal. 

“I’m sure they did. I’m sure none of them voted to abolish the monarchy so they wouldn’t have to teach you any longer.”

“Hey! Lars was absolutely heartbroken when the vote came out.”

“Oh no, poor Lars.”

“He wrote me a very long letter. It had tear stains on it,” Wilhelm says, very seriously. Simon barks out a laugh and a wide smile breaks on Wilhelm’s face.

“Well, still,” Simon sighs wistfully, “we can’t all be musical geniuses like me.”

Wilhelm rolls his eyes and bumps his shoulder into Simon’s. “Yes, the rest of us must remain modest and humble in the wake of your glory.” Nodding agreeably, Simon folds his hands in his lap very delicately and lifts his nose, before they both fall quickly into giggles.

“Yes,” Simon hums, “You look very modest and humble in those spiffy clothes of yours.”

Wilhelm mocks offense to Simon’s teasing words, but he can also see a tad of real embarrassment in the ex-prince’s face. “I’ll have you know,” he drawls, “this is very high fashion amongst the cool kids.”

“Oh, the ‘cool kids’, huh?” Simon laughs and dodges a swat to the shoulder. “And who might they be? The coke-addicted finance bros in the Financial District?” 

Wilhelm wrinkles his nose in disgust then pulls his face back into that of, well, a finance bro. “The boys and I all get our drip from the same place. The babes love a slim pant and blazer these days,” he says, putting on a horribly exaggerated American accent. Simon tries to ignore that it sounds a bit like the way Marcus talks. Despite this, Simon laughs harder and applauds Wilhelm on his performance. 

“Honestly,” he says, catching his breath, “I’ve run into plenty of those types at the studio— bigshot music executives and producers, the like— and they all have that same vibe. You nailed it, really.” 

Wilhelm shrugs, his cheeks still flushed from laughter. “It was similar with the people I grew up around, too. Just a little less fraternity brother and a little more elitist prick. Everyone knows everyone and they need to make sure you know just how well known they are, too. I’m glad I don’t have to be around those types anymore.” 

“You’re not including yourself in the elitist prick category?” Simon teases.

“Hey! I’ll have you know, this shirt is from a charity shop.”

“Ah, former royalty saving the planet one second-hand Ralph Lauren button up at a time.” 

Wilhelm shoves Simon in the shoulder and Simon shoves him back. 

“Can we just work on my song, please? You’re a horrible teacher. I miss Lars.” 

Simon rolls his eyes and settles back onto the bench. “Yeah, alright then.” 

Friday.

By the time their reserved slot is about to expire on Friday afternoon, Simon feels he can call Wilhelm a friend. As Wilhelm continues to prove, the upper class — even former royalty — are not all that bad. In fact, they get along quite well. They sit at the piano bench together, continuing to work through Wilhelm’s song and talking and laughing and generally getting distracted. That Friday, Simon shows Wilhelm some of his more secret projects, too. 

“Wow,” Wilhelm breathes. Simon’s just finished his impromptu performance of a piece he’d been slowly tweaking for years. 

“You wrote that?” 

Simon nods.

“That was beautiful, Simon.” 

He blushes and pretends to make some notes on the music sheet, turning slightly away from Wilhelm’s gaze. That’s one thing he’s for sure noticed about Wilhelm in the past few days. His eyes pierce straight through you. 

“It’s a work in progress. Thank you.” Simon pauses, unsure if he’s willing to reveal just how special that piece is to him. In a burst of confidence brought on either by Wilhelm’s intense stare or the lack of oxygen in the small room, he presses on. “I’ve never really,” he swallows, “played that one for anyone before.” 

“Well, I am honored.” And Wilhelm sounds so genuine it makes Simon force himself to look up to meet the other man’s eyes. 

“Thank you, really. I've been feeling a little… lost with music lately. It’s nice to perform something that wasn’t just for some school assignment or what I thought someone else wanted me to make.” 

It felt odd to admit that sliver of truth. Simon had been feeling off. The past year or so, really, he’d been feeling off. Things had gotten so busy, and everyone was asking different things of him and telling him which way to go and guiding him in a million different directions. Nothing has really felt real for a while, he realizes. Marcus, while he meant well, had certain opinions about the music industry and the types of things Simon should be doing to “make it” one day. His professors gave prompts and set certain expectations that Simon found too strict. His time spent in this practice room had been a chance for him to shake off those expectations and guidelines, but it did get lonely. One of Simon’s favorite things about music is the ability to share it with other people. It’s nice to do that again. Even more so with something that was carved out of his own heart. 

“I could tell you really meant it,” Wilhelm says, looking off into the distance. A pensive air has taken over his features. “I could hear that you were… singing from your heart.” 

They meet eyes. A million thoughts pass by, and Wilhelm’s eyes flicker with emotion and understanding before Simon forces himself to look away. 

“Let’s try that melody from the other day again,” Simon says, turning back to the piano. 

They are still chatting as they exit the music building, arguing about the best pizza in the West Village. Simon is making a strong point about having lived in New York longer, whereas Wilhelm claims having been to Italy gives him more knowledge. 

“That is irrelevant, Wilhelm,” Simon laughs, shoving the other. “You can’t use your royal worldliness, it’s cheating.” 

“Wille.”

“Huh?” Simon looks over at the golden haired boy. He looks shy and reserved all of a sudden. 

“Wille. You can call me Wille. Also, ex-royal. I feel like I get some redemption from that.”

There’s a pause. Simon smiles and then so does Wille. 

“Okay, Wille, but I still maintain—” 

A ringing phone cuts him off, which Simon quickly realizes is his own. “Oh, sorry, I—” He glances at the caller ID and sees it’s Marcus calling him. Simon ignores the way he feels his own smile fade. “Sorry, it’s, uh, it’s my boyfriend I’ve just gotta…” He trails off, embarrassed for some reason, and answers the call. 

“He- Hello?” 

“Babe! Where are you? I need you tonight.” Simon smiles slightly at that. He glances apologetically at Wille. “We’re hosting some promoters at a club. Lots of big names. You’ve gotta come!” 

“Yeah, uh, sure,” he says, trying to switch his brain back to English. “Of course. I just finished on campus so—”

“You were still on campus? Why’re you working so late on a Friday night?” 

Simon glances over at the taller man. Because Simon has stopped walking, Wille has, too, and is dutifully trying to look like he’s not eavesdropping on Simon’s conversation. Simon finds that very dumb and very sweet. 

“Yeah, I mean, I was just—” 

Marcus cuts him off again. “Such a hard worker, babe. That’ll pay off in the long run, I promise. Listen, I’ve gotta run but we’ll be at Marquee at 11pm, okay? Can you meet me there?”

“Sure. I’ve got work so maybe I can—”

“Great, babe. You’re the best, really. Wear that black top with the mesh, yeah? You always look hot in that. I’ll see you there!” 

“Okay, sure,” Simon manages to get out, trying to ignore Marcus cutting him off at every sentence. The line clicks dead, but Simon mumbles a sweet goodbye into the phone anyway. 

“Sorry about that,” he says, pocketing his phone and turning back to Wille who’d been staring very intently at a nearby tree. “I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you Monday, yeah?” 

It feels weird to acknowledge this little schedule they seem to have established this week, but before he can second guess himself even further, Wille is smiling and nodding. “Have a good weekend, Simon.” 

“You, too, Wille.” 

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

Conna gives me Single White Female vibes. She doesn’t just want Shirley, she wants to BE Shirley.

***

Great movie! I love those old 90's thrillers. I get where you're coming from. Conna's intense focus on obsessing over and modeling herself on Shirley is similar; as well as her damaged background and urge to “overcome” her in some aspects. Sometimes when women have never experienced longing and attraction for another woman before there can at first be a misinterpreted aspect of enviousness and attempted one-upmanship, or a sort of puppyish eagerness to impress and be noticed, all of which Conna exhibits. But if it comes across as Conna being a sexual predator or Single White Female, that's entirely on me lmao.

If Conna does manage to pull on a blonde wig and bamboozle the men, I'm certain they would be quite perplexed at the fact that Shirley has suddenly become un-pregnant, an inch shorter, 2 cup sizes smaller, and the Navy SEAL copypasta.

[destiel-wings]

Listen I love jack I think he's awesome but I still dont feel like jack was an elevated replacement of Crowley cause man did I LOVE Crowley either way I still love jack...but I had a thought imagine if jack storyline didn't existed that castiel was made god Instead...can you imagine the poetic implication of God being in love with Dean Winchester omg like that has just bamboozled my mind...dean Winchester who never takes credit of anything being loved by the absolute supreme??? him being bestowed the absolute validation??? LIKE THAT IS JUST PERFECT....AND LIKE CAS WAS LITER LIKE

cas to anyone else: I will kill you

cas to dean: I'm your huckleberry

God being only soft for one individual yea no bye i want to bury myself rn cause I need this

I absolutely love Crowley too!! I never thought about Jack as a replacement for him, but I see where you're coming from.

The thing about Jack is he brought a whole different dynamic for team free will, narratively speaking. He reshaped all of them, bringing a lot of new story territory. When i first watched s13 I remember that I noticed and loved how much Sam's soft approach towards Jack made me appreciate him once more, reminding me why I love Sam so much. His own storyline had been weaker up until that point, but when he decided to take care of Jack, fighting for him and taking upon himself the responsibility of a child (the way Dean had done for him), that was a huge step for the character. It was growth, and it shed some very much needed good light on Sam and his good empathetic heart.

For Dean, Jack brought an intersting conflicting dynamic. I love the initial opposition that seeing Jack triggered in him, for the way it underlined his grief of losing Cas. I think seeing a character like Dean, who had always been collecting stray kids, and whose main role since he was a child had been that of the caretaker, struggling so much with Jack, was very interesting. Because Jack is a mini Cas. He's Cas's kid. And so, Dean's kid. He's not his brother, or a stray kid that he can befriend providing a parent-like care (like with Claire or Kevin, in a way). Jack is, in every way possible, more like a son. And for that, it gets harder. One gets meaner sometimes, because it's family. And it's not fair, but in the dynamics of the show, in the portrayal of family that we've seen, and that the boys have grown into, it's as real as it gets. And one makes mistakes. Dean certainly made so many mistakes with Jack, and he sometimes went way too far (like when he said Jack wasn't family in the end of s15 and then the show ended and never let him eat his words to Jack - but again, there's a lot of things that the show never let Dean say in the end...), but still, one can't deny that he cared about Jack and that his introduction didn't bring new flesh for Dean's storyline.

I don't need to explain how Jack affected Cas' storyline. It was simply wonderful to see. To witness Cas genuinely develop a father side and learn a different, completely selfless kind of love. All of that love had always been in Cas, but I think Jack brought it to surface even more, and who knows, maybe that's even what helped Cas realize that his feelings for Dean were different, romantic. Because he now had something else that was just as strong, but felt completely different to compare it with.

Ultimately, I think the point is that Jack kind of brought the whole team together even more strongly. He was like glue that kept them together, in a way that felt even more impossibly like family. And that's why i think it's so beautiful, and why his introduction was a great move that gave new life to the show.

With Crowley... they did him dirty. He was such an interesting character but towards the end the writers stopped caring about him and his storyline had become stale. His main feature, his wit, had been turned against him when they had him do a couple of stupid things (the whole storyline with Lucifer), and they just demeaned his character until he killed himself. And while i love that he was the one to do it, and for a good cause, to save our boys, his sacrifice was ultimately rendered useless too since Lucifer didn't even stay trapped but escaped and kept bringing problems.

I think the wiriters got a little bored with the character and didn't really know what to do with it, but they should've given him a refresh instead of killing him. I would've loved a storyline where he became a real part of the team. Imagine team free will being formed by hunters, a nephilim, an angel and a demon? Seeing Crowley become one of the good guys (while still being a demon) might've brought a lot of interesting story territory for them. The constant diffidence. The struggle to constantly prove his loyalty and gain their trust and approval, his relationship with Rowena developing in all this... it would've been fun. I'm thinking it might've been something like Spike's storyline in Buffy's fourth season (for those who are familiar with the show).

OR, imagine if they had him develop on what s8 started, and had him be cured as a demon and become human. Either by his own free will or by force. I'm imagining him somewhat like Endverse Cas, some sort of pariah, maybe hiding away as a hermit with a life crisis, that could've been treated both in a funny way, but also with some real moments of depths. With the Winchesters coming to look for him for his knowledge, seeking help and finding him in a sea of bottles, depressed and purposeless and overwhelmed by feelings, until they gave him something to fight for, a reason to get up, and eventually he might have become part of the team.

That's what I would've done, and I think either solution would've been better than what his character got, but anyway. 😅

I'm not sure i understand how Jack's absence would be linked to Cas being revealed God, since Chuck had already been established as God by the time Jack arrived (are you talking about Godstiel?) but anyway I see your general vision about Cas being God and being in love with Dean and... yes, oh, yes, that definitely would've been something. I'm thinking about Dean's "Cas? Are you God?" and that would've been sweet. Instead we got a different kind of God who was still obsessed with Dean, but unluckily, not in a good way.

But again, every show needs conflict, so we couldn't have it the sweet way. Just like the characters, we were doomed from the start.

Thank you for the message <3

[listenheresweaty]

c!wilbur X reader Headcanons

🍂🍂🍂

this is stuff I had sent around as asks to old friends and am now posting— some additions have been made to the pogbur one.

——

I believe Revivebur would not be able to handle flirting. I’m talking old-fashioned Victorian flirting: showing up at his house (Phil’s house, we all know the man is a squatter) with flowers, writing him poetry, kissing him on the back of the hand— you know.  it’s the one kind of flirting that would be most effective because he doesn’t know how to react to it. He can’t get his guard up on time, so he’s just left flabbergasted. Absolutely bamboozled, mouth open, eyes wide, completely stunned. The first time at least.  not that all the following times go any smoother for him.

🍂🍂🍂

Pogtopia Wilbur finding love letters around his room in the ravine. Anonymous, always some sickly sweet poem. His first reaction is paranoia, then anger, then a mix of the two— who’s sending these? Are they joking? What are they planning?

But he can’t bring himself to throw them away. He keeps them stashed in his pockets and under his ratty mattress. As time goes on, he actually lets himself smile at the notes sometimes. Reread them, even, when he’s laying down on his bed with only a flickering lamp for company.

But he never tries to figure out who’s sending them. He avoids it, actually, in fear that it’ll become too real if he ever sees his admirer’s face. That if he finds out who it is, he’ll ruin that relationship too.

🍂🍂🍂

thinking about revivebur and baths

in a completely sfw sense---- with the combination of water temperature and body heat, him taking a bath with his s/o must be very warm. thaws out any chill or ache from spending eons in limbo

its not much of a bath and more of a cuddle session while mostly submerged in hot water

you make up for pulling him out of the tub (which he sleepily protested) by wrapping him in a towel and drying off his hair, letting him go limp as he clings onto you, eyes closed as you rub the towel into his scalp

and afterwards, the feeling of being clean as he slips into bed? its heaven. best sleep he's gotten in a while. 

🍂🍂🍂

Thinking about Lmanbur.

Finding wilbur asleep at his presidential desk and carrying him to his chambers despite being a little over half his height. Maybe he wakes up halfway to the room, and he’s just being carried around like a doll. Imagine if he flails around in surprise and ends up knocking the both of you over. 

S c a l p.        m a s s a g e s.  during the stressful time of the election

Imagine coming in late at night to find him still working at his desk. The two of you start talking, and you end up on the floor, sitting across from each other, toes touching and knees brought up to your chests (his back against his desk and yours against the wall). At one point he starts talking about the war, and it turns to him holding out his hands, palms facing up. You meet him in the middle, reaching out your own hands to hold his, gently tracing the scars. Eyes soft and downcast, he stares at his hands as you pet them, murmuring some quiet thoughts about the effects of the war and the difficulty of being president— the distant look in his eyes almost suggesting that he’s talking to himself. But then he looks up at you, face grim and tired and so worn, yet relieved that there’s at least one person he can be human with, without the constant fear of accidentally ruining their image of a confident, silver tongued president and revolutionary (no matter how hard you try and assure him that nobody would think less of him if he showed weakness for once– especially not tommy. But it's like talking to a brick wall). You hold your arms out, open, and he just pitches forward slowly, head coming to rest on your chest as he slumps against you. His hair tickles your face and you scrunch up your nose, running a hand through the brown curls to flatten them away from his face… which makes him sigh happily at the feeling and go limp. Eventually he falls asleep. 

Offering a kiss for every hour he sleeps and abstains from work. He sleeps for eight hours? Eight kisses in the morning! He sleeps for only three? Only three. Good incentive, but you can hardly convince yourself to stick to the plan and always end up giving him more kisses than he had “earned”-- because in reality he deserves all of them.

[ausetkmt]

‘Bamboozled’ is the Forgotten Gem in Spike Lee’s Career

A new Criterion Collection edition of the 2000 film—about a primetime TV minstrel show that becomes a hit—means its finally time to give this scorched-earth satire its due

It still shocks you. No matter how many times you’ve seen those images, in history books and documentaries, museum exhibits and memorabilia collections, banned cartoons and the occasional old movie preserved on TCM (and preceded by a warning), the actual witnessing of it still stops you in your tracks. You don’t have to know that people would place corks in a small metal bowl, pour alcohol on them, light them on fire, mash the ashes and add water. (Later, a performer might have used standard shoe polish, but this was the traditional method.) You don’t even have to observe them methodically apply that concoction to their foreheads, cheeks, nose, chin, jawline, or complement the look with red lipstick. You just have to see the result — the actual look of blackface on someone — to feel shaken. And this time, it’s not in faded black and white but in living 21st-century color, staring right back at you.

Spike Lee knows the historical import of these images. He understands the power of cinema, and the necessity of provocation, and how sometimes a blunt instrument is required in lieu of a sharp blade. He’s aware of how the minstrel show had been used to dehumanize people, to reduce them and belittle them, and how so much of that legacy continued even after that mode of entertainment became a thing of the “distant past.” Bamboozled, his 2000 satire — Lee has his lead character read the definition of the word “satire” to the audience in the opening sequence, just to silence any doubters — talks much trash and throws a lot of caricaturish, over-the-top stuff at you in its first act. Some of it inspires eye-rolling, as obvious targets get pincushioned. Other bits have you laughing despite your better angels and instincts.

Then it arrives at the moment when two actors have to “blacken up.” The film follows each step. This scene will repeat itself throughout the film three times, all of them set to Terence Blanchard’s musical lament. During the third go-round, you can see tears rolling down one of the man’s cheeks. Each time they finish the ritual, mugging desperately into the camera as they bound onto a TV studio’s stage, made up to look like the previous 50 years never happened, you get the wind knocked out of you. That’s the point. Lee has made something that could be considered a comedy. But he’s not playing around.

Editor’s picks

Nestled in between his highly successful concert movie of the highly successful comedy tour The Original Kings of Comedy and his stunning post-9/11 parable 25th Hour, Bamboozled has been consigned to being an odd blip on his filmography. Audiences were baffled. Critics were bent out of shape over it. The movie was considered too on-brand to be an outlier but too scattershot to be a masterpiece, too broad, too sour, too black, too strong. Now that the Criterion Collection has just released a new DVD/Blu-ray edition of this long out-of-print title, it’s easier to recognize this cri de coeur for what it is: a history lesson on decades of screen (mis)representation, a look back in anger but also profound sorrow, a flawed and sometimes flailing takedown that becomes more effective the more times you see it. At the turn of the century, it seemed like an crude attempt at sketch comedy. Twenty years later, the movie feels like a forgotten gem in Spike’s career, one who’s spit-polish and reappraisal comes at the exact right moment.

https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Bamboozled.jpg?w=1024

Bamboozled‘s premise is the most modest of proposals: TV producer Pierre Delacroix (Damon Wayans) wants to make shows about average, middle-class African-American families. His white boss (Michael Rappaport), who claims to know more about black culture then the man sitting in front of him, wants more “hip” and outrageous programming. So, in an effort to get fired, Delacroix and his assistant Sloan Hopkins (Jada Pinkett Smith) suggest The New Millennium Minstrel Show. It’s exactly what it sounds like: an update of an old-fashioned 19th-century variety show full of songs, dances, skits and corrosive stereotypes. He hires two street performers, Manray and Womack (tap-dancing phenom Savion Glover and In Living Color‘s Tommy Davidson), to play “Mantan” and his sidekick “Sleep ‘n’ Eat.” The exec suggests they set it on a plantation; Delacroix offers the idea of a watermelon patch instead. They produce a pilot that makes those old Amos & Andy episodes look like Joe Turner’s Come and Gone. Delacroix believes that something this blatantly offensive is destined to get him canned. Naturally, the network gives him a 12-episode order. The nation gives him a hit show.

Related

It’s a tale as old as time, or at least The Producers. Mel Brooks’ farce is a simply a high point in “sick” humor, however, and an expansion on the notion that comedy is tragedy plus time divided by bad taste, a wink and massive cajones. Bamboozled has other things on its troubled mind, namely the use of entertainment as a propaganda tool and a prejudice machine. On the Criterion edition’s supplementary disc, there’s a conversation between Lee and critic/programmer Ashley Clark (whose book Facing Blackness is a brilliant forensic dissection of the film) in which the director admits that prior to the project’s conception, he’d been thinking a lot about two then-recent birthdays: the centennial of the movies and the 50th anniversary of television. These were mediums he dearly loved, and that showed him the world. They also reflected back a purposefully one-sided, less-than-one-dimensional view of the African-American experience. Many filmmakers launched counterattacks by the late ’90s — not just Lee, but also Charles Burnett, Julie Dash, Melvin Van Peebles, John Singleton, Kasi Lemmons, Gordon Parks, Ivan Dixon, Kathleen Collins, Marlon Riggs, and a growing list of others.

Yet for every Losing Ground, there was decades of lost ground via endlessly recycled images of buffoons and simpletons. There was also the Seventies sitcoms like Good Times and The Jeffersons, which — assuming Bamboozled‘s skeptical view of them was reflective of its creator’s mindset — Lee also saw as harmful. Minstrelsy was gone, but what lay at the roots of those shows wasn’t dead. It had just changed its makeup. Still, what would happen if someone really tried to resurrect those old vaudeville-style, pre-Civil War to Jim Crow era shows and sell them as ready-for-primetime programming? For Delacroix, it was a way out of a bankrupt creative situation, with the delusional notion of it being a subversive way to smuggle social commentary in. For Sloan, it’s a way to prove to her militant brother (Yasiin “Mos Def” Bey) that she’s not a corporate sellout. For the two New Millennium actors, who view TV as a level-up from tap-dancing in midtown for chump change, it’s a way to “keep the income coming in.” Everyone ends up losing a piece of their soul regardless of their motivations.

Delacroix gets checkmated because he inadvertently gives the people exactly what they want — a little bit of that “Make America Great Again” throwback mockery. (Dig how the movie’s crude look, courtesy of a consumer DV camera, switches to Super 16mm lushness during these sequences. It’s like gazing a beautiful, poisonous flower.) Soon, the studio audience is showing up in blackface, with everyone pledging allegiance to a racial epithet. Pierre ends up surrounded by kitsch racist-memorabilia, a piggy bank taunting him by throwing endless phantom coins into its mouth. Sloan and the show’s stars end up broken. Like Network, one of several movies which Bamboozled owes a partial debt to, the narrative ends with a plea to yell that you’re not going to take it anymore, and a death. Delacroix’s experiment has spectacularly backfired. So had Spike’s, for the opposite reason: He’d given folks something they really didn’t want in 2000, i.e. to have their face rubbed in a centuries’ worth of hate.

There’s a lot going on in Bamboozled that isn’t a direct poke in your eye, of course. There’s Wayans’ Harvard-affected, every-syllable-has-its-day accent, which is the perfect aural equivalent of his name. There are the arguments between Smith, who’s genuinely wonderful in the movie, and Bey about ideology. There is Bey’s group the Mau-Mau’s, Spike’s scorched-earth take on revolution-spouting, consciousness-raising hip-hop groups and the one thing even the film’s fans have a hard time with. There’s Paul Mooney as Junebug, Pierre’s dad and a comedian who’s admirably stuck to his well-honed club shtick; in a perfect world, the movie would’ve helped reintroduce this legendary stand-up and Richard Pryor collaborator to a larger audience. (Chappelle’s Show would accomplish that a few years later.) And there’s the commercial parodies, from “Bomb Malt Liquor” to a deathblow critique of Tommy Hilfiger’s marketing to the African-American community.

But the underlying feelings that inform the movie are rage and pain. That’s what you see in Delacroix’s eyes when his boss brusquely uses slurs and ill-advised slang to prove the he’s more “down,” and when the producer says that he refuses to keep pumping out shit “like Homeboys in Outer Space” — a hilarious throwaway line until you remember this was a real, honest-to-God series. You see it in his face when white coworkers excitedly praise him and he watches white people cracking up at the performers denigrating themselves for their delight. (It’s hard to watch these scenes and not think of Dave Chappelle’s story about seeing a Caucasian crew member laugh a little too intensely at a sketch, a moment that forced the comedian to pull the plug on his own show.) And you definitely see it in Bamboozled‘s coup de grace, a climactic roll call of racist screen imagery throughout the ages that presents you with a century’s worth of humiliation 24 frames per second.

This is the history the film wants to remind you of; this is the history it wants you to reckon with. And seeing the movie through the lens of our current moment, history has indeed been kind — agonizingly so — to what Bamboozled is talking about. That so many people have inherently picked up what Lee was putting down and used that as a sort of template for what writer/critic Evan Narcisse called “the New Black Absurdity” has helped its mode of attack feel remarkably familiar,. You can see its legacy in everything from the cinema du Afro-punk to Atlanta, Terence Nance’s unclassifiable surreality to Sorry to Bother You. Even Spike himself would go back to this bitter aesthetic well with BlacKkKlansman.

It’s plus ça change perversity of it all — the constant sheer WTF-edness and creeping feeling of progress being undone by violence and oppression — re: life circa 2020 that really makes Bamboozled feel like it was made for here and now. It’s time has come, wonderfully and regrettably. Reached by phone a few days after the DVD’s release, Clark noted that “in 2000, when this film came out, it was: ‘Spike, we know blackface is bad, get over it.’ If this had come out in 2008, it would have been received even worse: ‘Spike, we live in post-racial America now, you’re so out of touch.’ Right now, we have a President tweeting out miracle cures, people like Sheriff David A. Clarke considered to be pundits and the Diamond and Silk appearing on Fox. The really scary thing is that, 20 years on, Bamboozled feels incredibly contemporary. It doesn’t look so extreme after all…and when you consider the content of this film, that’s a very troubling thing.”

[inexplicifics]

Do you think being a better/more thoughtful reader helps you become better at writing your own stories? I’m always in awe of the people coming into your ask box which such thoughtful and intelligent questions and your equally insightful answers. I love all your fics, but I feel slightly confused/bamboozled when seeing such detailed questions bc I never think of anything like that myself.

You know, I'm not sure! I actually am quite bad at leaving the sort of long, thoughtful, intriguing comments that other people leave on my fic - all I can usually find to say is how much I liked it, or sometimes a particularly impressive line or scene. It often takes me a while and a lot of percolating before I can say something coherent about a fic. But I flatter myself I'm a decent writer, so...I don't know that they're using the same part of the brain!

I think the important thing in writing is to either have someone to help ask "hey, what about this bit here," or to get some practice at doing that yourself. I am lucky enough to have several people who are very good at that and are willing to help me out!

[alienaiver]

Hi Hi Nohr! I had a question for you!! Do you think Shinsou, Kuroo and Allen would get along with Snøfle?

hi deru my love !!!! happy weekend !! will you be doing anything exciting ?? <!!!!33333

AND THAT SUCH A TOUGH QUESTION ACTUALLY,, i think its more of an issue of snøfle Not getting along with anyone... my toxic trait is generally telling snøfle hes a very good boy even though hes very bad most of the time KLJDSAKDHJAS <333 these three exactly are actually VERY different with him so its very fun to imagine thank u for sending it in!!!!! kissing u<3333

but ill break down their relationships with him!

kuroos patience with snøfle is wearing thin... first of all hes already stated he prefer dogs if he has to pick, but loves all animals generally! so when i tell him about snøfle he smirks and thinks easy peasy !! but the way snøfle wont let the bathroom door stay closed for any private matter or the way that he gets territorial about my dinner table when im cooking (its like he Knows therell be food on it soon and he wants to make sure hes the first to get it???? hes so strange bcos i havent fed him human food by the table ever) HE WILL CHOMP ANY WHO TRIES TO SET THTE TABLE. we have fooled snøfle exactly once (1) to believe that kuroos lap was mine underneath a blanket, and kuroo still tells the story of how snøfle sat on his lap proudly to everyone (omitting the fact that he was tricked, bamboozled, fooled). i think snøfle would LOVE kenma, which in turn would only make kuroo more frustrated tbh.... and the chances are that snøfle primarily likes kenma to annoy kuroo... i see a rivalry ..... and dont get me started if kuroo ever needs to petsit snøfle for me JHDSAKJHDAJ... he will hiss, whine, bite, headbutt, attack, cuddle, scream, hiss again... all in the first five minutes. when we go to bed in the evening, snøfle will howl and whine and complain when kuroo comes to cuddle. hes allowed nowhere near me (snøfle and i share a pillow and NOTHING shall come between that!).. so.. strained. battle of the garbage dump but its just kuroo having beef with my fat senior feline

shinsou on the other hand has no qualms about snøfles behavior. of course he internally wishes for more love from snøfle, but he isnt interested in forcing a relationship with him, taking every bite or slap without a grimace (even /i/ get worried about his indifference to snøfles Bad Boy Behavior). snøfle reluctantly opens up to shinsou only bcos he doesnt become visibly annoyed with him/puts up with his behavior after so long, and while he doesnt voluntarily cuddle with shinsou if im there, he will tolerate a petting and a good play while i read or write !!! theyre besties if im away, cuddling and spooning away as if he was the primary owner ! its very cute, but as soon as i unlock the door, he pretends shinsou doesnt exist again in favor of my attention. theres nothing more adorable than seeing the selfies shinsou sends of them tho!!!

and for last i got allen which is just a whole... oof situation, for both of them. allens got timcanpy who has a track record of being eaten by cats and snøfles NO exception when it comes to want to chomp him. its... terrible for everyone involved. allens childish side comes forth when it comes to snøfle, bcos snøfle is just so downright outrageous and rude. allen can talk perfectly poised and polite until snøfle enters the room with what allen perceives as a evil and mean grin. plus, snøfles a pretty RUDE food begger and allens VERY protective of his food. its not really... an ideal match, tbh. theres so much meat on allens plate so snøfles naturally more inclined to beg by him than me which doesnt help !!! i wish theyd get along better.. sometimes allen throws him a piece of meat in hopes itll leave him alone, but its only until the bites been devoured, then hes back on the table, all up in his face! i try to tell him this, but he do get desperate sometimes when snøfle almost steps on the plate or tips over his cup. although on VERY FEW occassions i have found them next to me on the bed in the middle of the night, cuddled up with allens arm around snøfles tummy. they both deny this, though. all my photo evidence has been mysteriously deleted......... i think snøfle will simply claim he thought it was my hand if we ever found a cat translation app.

DKSJFHSJ I HAVE BEEN GIGGLING OUT LOUD AT THESE IMAGINES........................ i almost cant believe snøfles THIS bad of a host but alas, he does have his... traits. i shall include my favorite and HIS favorite picture of him that shall make everyone who read this AWFUL slanderous defemation of snøfle immediately forget about it and only think of him as an angel !!

[nothingtherefornow]

My fears confirmed or allayed for Miraculous season 5 ?

SPOILER WARNING ABOUT THE SEASON 5 BIBLE AND SOME LEAKS ABOUT THE EPISODES 12, 16 and 18

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So recently I posted some images from a leaked teaser about the future season 5 episode 18 Emotion, and showing Kagami interracting in a friendly manner with the infamous Liela.

Since then a very short clip about that scene has been leaked too, and from the english dialogue it's easy to deduce that to our great sorrow and misfortune, Kagami has indeed become friends with Lila T_T T_T T_T.

It is still too soon to tell if they became friend in the episode 16 Protection when Kagami will be akumatized because Lila manipulated her into thinking Marinette is an horrible person, or if they had already became aquaintances and grew closer before that episode (I'm thinking about the episode 12 Parfection where Kagami will also be akumatized and I think saw a leak about Lila being relevant in this episode)

I don't know if the possibility of Lila managing to pretend to be a friend to Kagami before episode 16 helps me think less badly of Kagami and the fact that she will let herself be bamboozled by Lila against her own friend in episode 16, or if it doesn't really change my disappointment with her character

Because I still think people who can turn their back on you and think the worse of you because someone they know less than you came and told them lies about you, then they aren't true friends. Even if false proofs were used to convince them (like a doctored video or recording) a true friend would want to verify their authenticity.

So I still question if Kagami is a true friend to Marinette or not.

Fortunatelly, another fan informed me that thanks to some leaked parts of the episode 18 script and the synopsis of episode 19 Pretension, Marinette and Kagami will still remain friends after episode 16 TvT. But I don't know if Kagami will realize on her own that she was wrong to have believed such outrageous things about her friend or if it's either Adrien or Ladybug who will encourage Kagami to reconcile with Marinette. And I hope its' the first option because otherwise it will show that Kagami is not a good friend for Marinette if her trust in her can be shaken so easily and somoene else has to tell her she must fix things.

But the fact that Kagami is even staying friend or becoming friend with the person that led her to believe the worst of her friend Marinette in the first place is a very uncool and alarming thing for Kagami to do.

But I'm very curious about the lies Lila will use to stay in Kagami's good graces after lying to her about Marinette. Maybe Lila will once again use her illness excuse about saying and doing things she has no control over, or maybe she will pretend to have misjudged Marinette and use crocodile tears to apologize to Kagami

Personally, I wouldn't want to remain friend with somoene that can be turned so easilly against me and become friend with a person who lied about me in the first place.

I love Miraculous, but sometimes it seems that the ml writers don't know a lot about how healthy friendships work, because their two main characters are surrounded by friends who arent' always that good of friends to them.

[night-market-if]

I don’t want to harp on this subject for too long as I’m sure you’re already sick to death about everyone putting in their 2c but I read your initial response to the Malcom solo romance question as you can romance Milo separately but at this moment not necessarily Malcom? Guess I must have misread. Not saying to cater to the whim of every single reader or their particular sensitivities and triggers, and fully understanding everything is fluid right now, but I know myself as a creator you sometimes write yourself into a big sprawling valley and sometimes you write yourself into a corner. Maybe as the story continues Milo route becomes a “have a whirlwind fling trauma bond and attempt to help heal old wounds but not really a true romance” not-route route. Same with Malcom where it’s an asterisked route. Of course to your point of not knowing how these things will impact the story is an important one to keep in mind as romance is not the end-all be-all but I can understand the perspectives of others who have chimed in and believe it’s premature to make any snap judgement without getting the full picture. I get being invested in the characters someone else created and feeling a part of it and then feeling bamboozled by creative decisions made about them and potentially not agreeing, and I also know that you as the writer ultimately are trying to tell a story and know the characters best and being hindered and met with pushback can be discouraging. For that I feel for you. I think if it weren’t such a frustrating thing for authors to deal with it would be awfully flattering that there are folks so enamores with the story and people you’ve written that their response something like this is so passionate. But what it comes down to at the end of the day is it’s your story and as the author you’re going to do what feels right to you. If you wake up tomorrow and come up with something completely different, or scrap romance altogether, or reveal MC is the big bad, or decide Gabriel’s hair should be bright green, that is all your prerogative and people may not like it, but they should respect it. I hope people are kind about this if it continues to come up and/or drop it altogether until you have a chance to work it out.

I don't want to harp on the subject either. I think it is important to answer these things too because it does allow for a lot more transparency within the community. I also think that there is a lot of fear surrounding going against what the community wants or some of the more standard tropes within story telling. I think a lot of that fear comes from not talking about it though. When I first got that ask last night I felt sick. I didn't want to deal with it. But there has been so many people sense offering so many different thoughts and point of views (not all that agree with me either) that it has made it far more easy to swallow this morning because I can see the other side. I'm getting voices from every direction and it is showing me that things are for more well rounded within the community than I give it credit for.

And in the end, I think you have made a very good point. This kind of discourse, while frustrating and confrontational at times, is flattering in a way. It means those characters are loved. And that is what I want.

As for Milo and Malcolm, a lot of what you guys have been saying is helping me with my ultimate decision. So while I didn't exactly want to be having these conversations now, maybe that's a good thing. I'm still going to wait and see how the story develops but at least its out there now. And maybe that will help the people who don't want the potential of that route to attach to someone else. But, Milo's romance is the most angsty of the game. I said that from the get go. We are just touching the tip of the iceberg with it.

[just-kit-ink]

Smarty-Pop gates have slammed open again (not that they were closed to begin with XD) so here's some Mermaid AU Smarty-Pop thoughts!

- Before Smartass, Poppy would always keep her grazing time brief and keep an eye out for danger. Sometimes she doesn't get to eat enough algae before a predator swims by and she darts into the closest crevice. But now that she has her eel boyfriend, he can stay near her and defend her while she eats ^^

- speaking of which; Smartass knows the best algae spots in the reef (like his weasels self knowing the best spots in town), and will take his gal to them, and make sure no other fish tries to bully her out of food. (A bit of dark humor; since these spots bring about all kinds of other fish around, that means that this could become a dinner date for them both. I'm so sorry I couldn't resist XD)

- During rabbitfish mating season, Poppy sticks by Smartass' side 24/7, so none of her fellow rabbitfish try to pursue her. Or Smarty will just scare them off if they still try. And vice versa when it's eel season- though Poppy wouldn't be able to scare off any eels looking at her man even if she tried XD but she'll still give the other a stern talking to if they keep bothering Smartass after he's stated he's nit interested.

- POPPY MOVING INTO SMARTASS' REEF CREVICE!! Ok I don't think all the eel boys would live together in this AU, unless they all went out of their way to try to find a cave big enough for them all to live in. Maybe they all live kind of like neighbors with their own rocks close to each other. But that'd just mean extra privacy for the love fish 😏 (Ok I'll stop I swear XD)

- No headcannon. Just the thought of Poppy taking advantage of her size and leaving tiny pecks against Smartass' cheek and jaw before he even realizes he got affection bamboozled. That's ok though; he can return the favor by curling around her and ensuring she can't escape while he smooth talks her XD

- speaking of which; what if Eel!Smartass will circle or curl around Poppy when there's a danger nearby or they happen to be talking to a dangerous fish? It almost looks like when he's got his prey in sight, which could hopefully convince the other predator that this rabbitfish has already been sighted and it won't be worth the energy to fight for a meal. But if that doesn't work, Smarty is still ready to strike.

- What if Poppy and Smartass met through Poppy? But not happily; Since Poppy is Kitty's fish sidekick, what if she got kidnapped right alongside Kitty? She's trying to get these eels away despite how harmless she is, probably making them laugh in the process, but Poppy refuses to leave Kitty's side. So fine; she can get dragged to Doom with Kitty (though maybe, somehow, Poppy can tug on the leader eels heart??)

//I LOVE ALL OF THIS IT'S PERFECT!

Even the dark humour! 😂😅

"She moves into his reef crevice". SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP SMARTY-POP!

I can imagine the Reef Patrol (yes that's what I'm calling them now) all living in this secluded cave together where few fish dare to enter or else they'll be snatched up by a pair of jaws and dragged in by a second pair of jaws! They're like the hyenas from The Lion King, scranning on bones until Doom tempts them with food and protection from them. "I practically gift wrapped that rabbit fish for you."

Smartass (or Smartmouth) would curl around Poppy possesively to begin with because she is Doom's hostage after all and then in a more comforting, protective way when she starts to get through to him. It's weird but he loves his tiny mate. She's completely ill adept at surviving on her own. He finds that endearing 🤣 She'll surprise him though. Even little fish can bite!