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#sometimes your vision would get blurry
schmope-is-dead · 2 years
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I’m still processing the nightmare I had last night. I think it would’ve been a better ending for stranger things
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slvttyplum · 29 days
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"if its fuck me, then we having sex."
suguru hated you and couldn't put his finger on why; maybe it was your arrogance or that conceited fake ass smile you would put on your face whenever he was around just to make him laugh. because to everyone else it was just you being nice, but both you and suguru knew that was quite the opposite.
"oh fuck... right there." suguru's hand was firmly placed around your neck as he pushed your back into his chest, slamming into you with no plans of stopping. pushing his dick deep inside you, struggling to breathe, your eyes rolling to the top of your head. this motherfucker really knew how to make you feel good, and you hated it; he should've been bad at it. 
he wasn't supposed to know where the clit was or how to curve his fingers the right way so that he was pressing on your sweet spot; he was supposed to be a dick who didn't know how to please you; instead, he was the dick that was showing up to your place every day to fuck you senseless. fucking you so good, you didn't want him to leave.
suguru would laugh in your face if you said the things you were thinking, but he felt the same: once he was buried deep inside you and had his face buried deep in the crook of your neck or had his face buried in your sweet pussy, he never wanted to let go of you. the hatred was still there, but only a little. even though he was fucking you almost every day, you still had to drive him insane, because otherwise the sec wouldn't hit like you wanted it to. suguru thought the same. 
petty disagreements turning into full-blown arguments, and those arguments turning into him bending you over and fucking you until your vision turned blurry and your mouth was dry. the sex hit better when the both of you argued before, the animosity and the anger getting fucked out of the both of you.
"mmm, you don't like me, but you're taking my dick like you do." while holding the sides of your cheeks and fucking into your both, the tip of his dick touching the back of your throat while tears welled up and fell out of your eyes. gagging on it while he talked down on you, telling you to keep taking it, increasing his speed. 
his snarky remarks were covered up quickly when you had your pussy in your mouth, making sure you were grabbing and tugging on his hair extra hard when he did something you didn't like.
some will ask why the two of you have sex with each other when you barely like each other, but the answer is clear. the sex was just too good; you had to put your differences to the side for two hours a day. the way his hands compared to anyone else's, along with his dick, was enough to get you to shut the fuck up, and the way your pussy felt in his mouth and on his dick was enough to shut him up. 
sometimes it just felt good to put away your differences for a couple of hours to get the pleasure you needed. he fucked you right, and even though he claimed to "hate" you, he made sure you were finished each and every time. holding you and feeling on you, whispering in your ear how pretty you looked when you were getting filled with his dick. 
neither of you knew it, but he needed you, and he needed you so badly that it made him look stupid.
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mrkis · 1 month
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bad habits. (m.l)
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pairing. mark lee x fem!reader genre. smut word count. 6.5k
❝you know you're my favourite.❞
content warnings. explicit content, toxic behaviour from reader and mark, jealousy, mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed, indications of dealer!mark, manhandling, fingering, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, mean!mark, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie.
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Don’t look at him. 
You mentally tell yourself as you tear your eyes away from Mark who enters the house party with a girl at his side, capturing a glimpse in your peripheral vision the way his hand rests at the bottom of her back as he leads her through the crowded room.
Stop looking at him.
You tell yourself again when your gaze inevitably draws back to him, find yourself staring at him from across the room, watching as he greets his friends with boyish handshakes and welcoming pats on the back before he settles down on the couch once they made room for him, the girl following closely behind and smoothly sliding her perfectly manicured hands on his thigh.
Stop.
Your tongue prods at your cheek in annoyance as you watch how close they lean into each other to speak, how his words seem to make her giggle and she tucks her hair behind her ears when he smiles at her, clearly enjoying his obvious flirtatious comments and your grip tightens around the cup you’ve been nursing the entire night, pulling your eyes away from the scene when his gaze finally meets yours.
The relationship you have with Mark is something you have never experienced before, but a relationship you weren’t too keen on letting go of anytime soon. Mark’s a friend; a friend who you sometimes rely on when things go south, a friend who picks you up in his car for late-night takeout runs and smoke weed until the sun rises, and a friend who you actively sleep with just to get rid of that dull ache between your thighs. 
You hate how he knows your body, sometimes even better than you know yourself. You hate how easy it is for him to whisper sweet nothings into your ear, igniting something within you that leaves you breathless and yearning for more. You hate how his touch leaves you desperate, craving for more than just his hands. You hate how his eyes alone can have you on your knees, the heavy weight of his cock resting on your tongue.
You can’t help but think that you have some sort of effect on him too, finding it amusing how easy it was to get him alone with you, to make him drop whatever he was doing just to be in your presence. It does, admittedly, bring you a lot of satisfaction in knowing that you may have some kind of hold over him like he does with you.
Although, there have been a handful of moments where he has ignored or rejected you, much like tonight.
You were the one that had invited him to come to this party when your best friend had first mentioned it.
You were the one that brought it up to him during an intimate encounter in the backseat of his car, asking him to accompany you only to be shut down and told that he wasn’t interested in some lame house party, and instead had something else planned for that night.
Before you even arrived at the party, you saw the Snapchat story posted by the girl who is currently clinging to his side like a leech. The image was blurry, but you could make out her holding two joints, with a caption thanking Mark and promising a fun night, while tagging his username. At first, you figured it was a deal, being aware that Mark sometimes sells his weed on the side for extra cash, but you never expected that the ‘something else’ he had planned would involve bringing her to a party he rejected coming to in the first place.
It honestly made you fucking pissed.
You mentally chastise yourself to get a grip and you scoff, tilting your head back and gulping down the rest of your drink, the alcohol searing your throat and momentarily distracting you from your own fiery emotions. You lower the cup, swiping the back of your hand at the corner of your lips, wiping away any lingering traces of liquid just as your best friend nears you with a drunken flush.
“Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Yunjin exclaims as she flings her arms around your shoulders for a hug, but her embrace falters as she notices the expression on your face. “What’s happened?”
“I’m out,” You say, gesturing towards your empty cup with a tight lipped smile, trying to hold yourself back from admitting—“Oh, and Mark’s here.”
“I thought he said no to coming?” Yunjin’s brows knit together in confusion and she glances over your shoulder, catching a glimpse of Mark and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but her expression quickly shifts to one of exasperation as she rolls her eyes and directs her attention back to you. “Are we really surprised? Come on, you know exactly what he’s like!”
“I know.” You hate it.
“He’s always been like this!”
“I know.” You really hate it.
Yunjin takes a moment to stare at you before she sighs, arms crossing over her front, “Yet it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re thinking about him right now.”
She’s got you there. “I know…”
Yunjin firmly places her hands on your cheeks, gripping with enough force to have you stare straight into her eyes, “Forget about him. He’s just some guy you’re sleeping with occasionally, and you know what that means?” You blink in response. “It means you’re single and free to sleep with anyone you want! We’re here to have fun, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!”
She’s right. Of course she’s right. Her words bring a genuine smile to your face and you nod in agreement, determined to not let something so silly ruin your night. 
Yunjin wastes no time when she leaves, quickly returning back to you with fresh drinks and tapping her cup against yours with a mischievous grin. You both take a few hearty sips, allowing the alcohol to course through your veins and lighten your mood, head buzzing as she slips her fingers through yours to tug you away from your current position.
You mingle with a few of her other friends you’re familiar with, diving deep in conversations, laughing at jokes shared among the group, throwing flirtatious comments here and there when someone shows clear interest in you.
But you weren’t interested in them. 
Not at all.
Not when you can still see Mark in your line of vision, who remains his position on the couch, engrossed in his own conversation with his friends and the girl who has yet to leave his side, seemingly unwilling to leave.
Your jaw locks tight when Mark occasionally meets your gaze, rubbing his palms on his thighs and shifting in his seat, manspreading as he relaxes back against the cushions. Your eyes narrow, fighting the urge to roll them when the girl beside him snuggles in closer, offering a smile that could make anyone swoon, but he’s not even looking at her now.
He’s fully looking at you.
Mark’s head tilts to the side, the corner of his lips lifting into a subtle smile, leaving you with a mix of conflicting emotions that makes your head spin. On one hand, there’s a part of you that wants to wipe that look off of his face, fueled by your annoyance and frustration. But on the other hand, there’s a part of you that can’t help but be drawn to that smile, wanting to bask in the attention and keep his gaze fixed on you and you only.
A bitter taste lingers on the tip of your tongue as Mark’s gaze is taken away from you, watching as he leans his head down to listen attentively to the girl who whispers in his ear, her fingertips resting against his jawline to keep him in close. A forced laugh escapes your lips, the sound tinged with bitterness and your tongue prods at the inside of your cheek.
You rip your attention away from the pair, redirecting your focus to Yunjin who looks at you with a confused expression, clearly bewildered by your sudden laughter and you try to shake off that ugly feeling that has settled within you, offering her a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes and Yunjin spots that immediately. 
She calls out your name softly, wanting to question your odd behaviour but her words come to a halt when the guy beside you grabs the attention of the group. Was it Dohyun? Dowon? You can’t remember, and frankly you don’t really care enough to remember. But you remain quiet as he speaks, asking if anyone knows where he can purchase weed at the party, if there is anyone who knows who he can buy from as he assures that he has the cash.
Mark. The name flickers in your mind almost instantly and you meet Yunjin’s gaze, watching as she subtly shakes her head at you, knowing exactly what you’re thinking.
“I know someone,” You announce and Yunjin’s shoulders sag as she sighs deeply. You ignore her reaction as you extend your hand towards the guy, “Give me the money. I’ll go get it.”
“Are you sure?” He asks in surprise, hesitating for a moment despite already having the bills ready in the palm of his hand. “I don’t mind getting it—”
“It’s fine.” You cut him off abruptly, curling your fingers around the bills to take into your own hands. You turn on your heels, making a beeline directly towards Mark as you slip through the crowd, pushing through the bodies with determination and fire coursing through your veins, fingers grasping the money tighter just as you get closer, eyes locked in on Mark as he watches you near.
As you stand in front of him, your gaze involuntarily shifts to the girl by his side, tongue clicking against your teeth with bitterness tinging your thoughts as you observe her shuffling closer. Her hand is now resting on Mark’s bicep, fingers sinking into the fabric of his hoodie. 
The sight alone stirs a mixture of annoyance, frustration and jealousy in the pit of your stomach and in the moment, you find yourself in an internal struggle to either make some snarky or bitchy comment in hopes to get Mark to understand how pissed off you truly are, or to continue with what you were originally here for.
“Pre-rolls.” Is what you say with a monotone and direct voice, deciding to get straight to the point, extending your hand as you show Mark the money, making your intention clear.
Mark’s eyes briefly lower to the money before returning to meet yours, “For you or for someone else?”
“Does it matter?” You reply back sharply. “Pre-rolled joints, please.”
“For someone else then,” You hear Mark mutter beneath his breath as he digs inside the pocket of his pants to pull out exactly what you needed, but he’s quick to pull it out of reach as you go to snatch it from his grasp. Your frustration grows within you as you glare at him, but he takes no notice of your expression as he asks, “Are you smoking too?”
“Obviously.”
You watch as Mark reaches back into his pocket and your demeanour shifts slightly as he pulls out another batch of pre-rolls, ones you’re all too familiar with as you see the pink coloured skins. He knows you prefer spliffs over joints. You want to continue being annoyed and angry with how he knows you all too well but yet, deep down, your heart can’t help but thump wildly in your chest and a flutter of warmth swirls in the pit of your stomach at the seemingly thoughtful gesture.
You bite down on your tongue, not wanting to let him know how much that simple action affected you so much, “I don’t have enough money for two.”
“You don’t pay for yours anyways.” Mark states matter-of-factly as he takes the money for one pre-roll and hands you the two. It’s true, you think, curling your fingers around the two pre-rolls he has given you. You’ve never paid him when asking for a smoke, he doesn’t let you pay him.
“You giving out freebies?” The girl beside him speaks up for the first time, her tone playful as she decides to jump in on the conversation. She nudges Mark’s shoulder as she teases, “Pink skins too? How come I don’t get that treatment?”
“Because I’m his favourite,” You find yourself replying before your brain could register it, sending her a forced tight lipped smile as she looks up at you in surprise, not expecting you to be the one to respond. But you couldn’t care less. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“I was talking more about the pink skins,” She snips back at you and your tongue prods at your cheek once again, fighting off the urge to laugh as she turns to look at Mark as she smiles. “I like pink.”
“They’re for her.” Mark says as he gestures towards you with a nod of his head. The girl’s face drops, her smile completely fading and a sense of satisfaction washes over you. You offer her a sweet, sickly smile in return before leaving the scene, heading straight back to your group who are patiently waiting for you to come back. 
Yunjin comes to stand beside you as you hand the joint over to Dowon (you managed to overhear his name as you were nearing closer to the group.) and he grins in victory, thanking you with a wet, dramatic smooch to your cheek before lighting it up, taking a drag and passing it around the group.
Yunjin leans her head down, disappointment clear in her tone as she speaks to you in hushed whispers, ridiculing you for suggesting Mark in the first place, but her tone soon shifts to curiosity and wonder, wanting to know what happened between you and Mark, and what you both had spoken about.
You were partially honest with your answer, replying that the only topic of conversation was about the deal and you were able to get exactly what you wanted and more as you showed her your own little gift. She grins, bumping her shoulder to yours proudly before jumping in conversation with the others, taking the joint out of another's hand while you tuck yours away in your purse, saving it for later.
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You had enough. 
The irritation you felt becomes unbearable, unable to be masked by the alcohol coursing through your veins.
The sight of Mark and the girl still in the same position on the couch; sitting close, sharing whispers and smiles. It gnaws at you despite your failed attempts to bury them with distractions, dancing with others, kissing others with lingering touches.
You’ve reached your breaking point. 
You wish you were drunk enough to ignore everything and continue on with the night, but unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case. 
You wanted to leave. 
Most importantly, you wanted to leave with him.
You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. It would certainly be easier to leave without him or even find someone else to go home with—Yunjin or some random stranger. But honestly, you couldn’t care less about the easy options. You never cared. 
Abandoning your half-empty cup without a second thought, you leave Yunjin behind, not even bothering to fill her in on what you’re about to do. The sound of her questioning fades into the background as you make your way towards the living room area with a determined stride. 
As you approach closer, a sense of tunnel vision takes over; everything else seems to fade into the background too, sounds becoming distant whispers or muted, completely overshadowed by your own thoughts and emotions.
You begin to second guess how this upcoming conversation would go, if Mark would actually leave with you this time if you asked. After all, he said no to coming here with you, so why would he agree to leave with you? 
You internally scowl at yourself for even thinking about something so negatively. 
He’s wrapped around your finger just as much as you’re wrapped around his.
“I’m leaving,” You declare as soon as you stand in front of Mark, not even giving him enough time to react to your sudden appearance. He remains unbothered, his gaze meeting yours as he lifts a soda can to his lips. His eyebrow raises in response and without missing a beat, you continue, “Come home with me.”
The girl sitting beside Mark reacts with utter disbelief, her mouth dropping open as she scoffs at your audacity, eyebrows knitting together at your words but you’re unfazed by her reaction. It doesn’t make you feel bad at all, not as your focus remains on Mark, waiting for his response.
And in that moment, you feel a sense of victory and satisfaction swell in your chest when Mark gives a simple nod of his head and rises from the couch, reaching in his pocket for his car keys as he bids his friends a goodbye.
“Wait!” The girl exclaims as she interrupts, tone filled with desperation and her hand shoots out, gripping Mark’s upper arm tightly, halting his movements. Her eyes shift towards you at first, giving you a harsh look before turning her attention back to Mark, “Are you serious right now? You were my ride here. How am I supposed to get home?”
You hold yourself back, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself from responding, though your annoyance is clearly visible on your face. You keep silent, watching as Mark’s face remains impassive, retrieving his car keys from his pocket.
“That’s not my problem,” He states bluntly, removing her grip from his arm without hesitation, words devoid of any sympathy. “You’ll figure it out.”
The girl’s jaw drops even further, shocked at Mark’s sudden change in attitude and tone. A smug grin finds its way onto your lips, unable to contain that satisfaction bubbling within you and you wave your fingers in her direction as Mark’s arm finds its way around your waist, resting his hand on your hip as he leads you out of the area.
As you’re leaving the building, Yunjin’s disappointed gaze lingers on you, but still mouths for you to be careful and gestures for you to call her when you get home. You nod in acknowledgement, blowing her a kiss before turning away and leaving her behind.
The cold air brushes against your burning skin, but your mind is preoccupied with a whirlwind of angry thoughts and unanswered questions, the scowl is clear on your face. Mark leads the way, guiding you towards his parked car in silence.
It’s deafening and you hate it, intensifying the frustrations that simmer within you. You’re getting angrier.
You climb into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut with enough force it rattles the car. Mark, who seems completely oblivious to your anger or just isn’t taking any notice, takes his place in the driver's seat, and his ongoing silence fuels your irritation even more.
Without sparing you a glance, Mark inserts the key into the ignition and twists it, setting the car’s engine rumbling to life. His attention is on the dashboard as he presses a few buttons to turn on the radio, playing a song you’re all too familiar with but not in the mood to vibe along with like you usually would.
Your frustration grows further when Mark casually drapes one arm around the back of your seat, focussing behind the vehicle as he reverses and then pulls out of the parking space, the car gradually gaining momentum as it merges onto the road. 
Setting back into your seat, your arms crossed tightly over your chest, your gaze alternates between the side of Mark’s face and the road ahead. You’re aware that it would be best to stay quiet and allow yourself to calm down before questioning him, yet the curiosity mixed with annoyance within you refused to be silenced. You bite down on your tongue hard. 
You can’t. 
“Thought you weren’t coming tonight,” You finally speak, unable to hold back your words. The bitterness seeps into your voice as you continue, “I thought you weren’t interested in ‘some lame house party’.”
Mark’s response comes with a nonchalant tone that irks you, “I’m not,” He shrugs his shoulders. “I had things planned, but plans changed.”
“So you decided to come to the party, which I invited you to, with a girl?” You question, unable to hide the tinge of jealousy in your voice.
Mark glances at you briefly, a smirk playing on his lips. His audacity strikes a nerve and you release a dry laugh, your tongue prodding at your cheek in disbelief.
“Sora was one of the people that I was dealing with tonight,” Mark explains, his words casual. “Donghyuck texted me while I was at her house that he was at this party and wanted to buy weed. I told him I’d drop by and give him some.”
Sora. Her name makes your face scrunch up in displeasure. “Right. Then you somehow ended up coming to the party with Sora and stayed for the majority of the night.”
Mark grins, teeth biting down on his bottom lip, “She was actually planning to go to the party after she saw me. But once she found out that I was heading there, she asked if she could ride with me. I drove her, and when I realised Donghyuck wasn’t outside, I was going to leave. Then Sora said she’d help me find him inside, so I went in.”
You mutter under your breath, the words escaping in a frustrated whisper, “Still doesn’t explain why you stayed.”
“I got caught up with friends,” Mark responds simply, his hand reaching over the centre console to rest on top of your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath his fingers. His touch attempts to sooth you, his voice softening. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” You lie through your teeth. “Just wish you would’ve at least told me you were coming or came up and said hello when you arrived.”
“I’m sorry,” His apology is minimal, but his tone sounds sincere as his thumb draws circles on your skin. ”Like I said, I wasn’t planning on staying.” Mark takes a quick glance over at you, a smirk tugging on his lips. “You’re wearing that dress I like, baby… walking up to you and saying hello wouldn’t be the first thing I’d do.”
You hum at that, twisting in your seat to face him, “And what would you do?”
“The same thing I did the last time I saw you at a party.” 
The low tone of his voice sends a shiver down your spine and your thighs squeeze together to relieve that sudden ache in your cunt, vividly remembering that night where he tugged you upstairs and fucked you in someones bathroom, not caring that the mirror rattled against the walls and belongings of all sorts had fallen off the counter, creating a mess on the floor that neither of you bothered to clean up when leaving. 
“I don’t remember,” You lie, giving him a glossy smile. “I think you have to remind me.”
Mark looks out into the open road, “Do you see a bathroom anywhere?”
“Funny,” You roll your eyes, but you lean over to brush your fingers over his crotch. “You can just remind me here—”
“We’re not fucking in my car,” His words make your eyebrows raise in shock, your mouth ajar as you scoff before ripping your hand away. Mark smiles, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. “Last time we were in here, you ruined my seats. The shit cost too much to clean, baby.”
You’re bitter as you reply, “You didn’t seem to complain before when you were desperate to make me cum over and over again.”
Mark’s laughter fills the car, his tongue clicking against his teeth as he shakes your head at your bitter attitude. The sound gets on your nerves immensely. You scoff, your arms crossing tightly over your chest, and you direct your gaze out the window, intentionally ignoring him for the rest of the journey.
As the car turns onto your street and your home comes into view, you reach for the seatbelt. Once Mark parks the car outside your house, you swiftly unbuckle and slip out of the car, slamming the passenger door shut with a force that rattles it. The sound of Mark’s laughter only further irritates you.
With your house key in hand, you unlock the door and step inside, feeling Mark’s presence behind you. His warmth brushes against your back, but you refuse to acknowledge it, striding towards your room. Standing in front of your vanity table, you remove your sparkly earrings, your focus solely on the task at hand as you chew your inner cheek with a scowl.
“Don’t tell me you’re ignoring me now,” Mark drawls, his voice reaching your ears. You raise your head to meet his gaze in the mirror’s reflection. He leans against the door frame, a smirk playing on his lips, despite the feigned upset tone in his voice. He continues, “You told me to come home with you, and now you’re giving me this treatment? All because I wouldn’t fuck you in my car? You’re cold, baby.”
You huff quietly, even though you know deep down that Mark’s words hold some truth. You continue to stay quiet, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and placing it back in its designated spot.
Mark’s tongue pokes at his cheek as he continues, “I could’ve just stayed with Sora—”
You immediately bristle, and you whirl around to face him. “You’re not funny.”
Mark’s grin widens, his eyes sparkling. “Got you to finally talk to me, though.”
You let out a forced laugh, your hands planted firmly on your hips as you stare at Mark. “You know what? You can go. I don’t care. Go. Go back to the party and spend the rest of your night with Sora.”
“Hey,” Mark’s response is immediate as he moves towards you, standing right in front of you. His fingers reach up to grasp your jaw, the cool sensation of his rings against your warm skin. He playfully shakes your head, and a part of you wants to push him away, but you remain still, unable to resist him. “Enough, a’ight? You know I’d rather be here with you anyways.”
And you do. Deep down, you know that. But you love pushing his buttons, especially with the thrill it gives you.
Pressing further, you challenge him. “Do I really?”
Mark’s voice hums with confidence. “Of course you do. You know you’re my favourite.”
You blink, “So there are others?”
Mark sucks in a breath, his grip of your jaw tightening as a playful warning. You can’t help but grin, pleased in your ability to get under his skin so easily. “Pain in my ass, I swear.”
A giggle escapes your lips as your arms wrap around his shoulders, and his hand releases your jaw, sliding down to rest at the base of your spine. His fingers put gentle pressure, urging you closer, and you willingly comply as you allow your chest to press against his.
Your fingers curl around the hair at the nape of Mark’s neck, the grin on your lips unyielding as you continue to taunt him. “Pain in your ass, yet you still can’t get enough of me,” You then feign surprise. “Don’t tell me you like me, Mark?”
“Yeah, yeah, you wish.” Mark mutters dismissively, his head dipping down as he crushes his lips against yours in a heated kiss, sending a surge of electricity through your veins. You respond eagerly without a moment of hesitation, matching his fervour, your lips moving in perfect sync.
Mark’s hand glides up from your lower spine to firmly grip the back of your neck, keeping you pressed against him. The sensation of his touch sends shivers down your spine, and you fist the material of his hoodie in your grasp, ensuring that he stays close to you. 
As the kiss deepens, you feel a gentle nip of his teeth on your bottom lip, causing you to gasp at the pinch. Your lips part, giving him an invitation for his tongue to slip inside your mouth. The taste of him, the mingling of your breath, it’s intoxicating to you, and you want more.
The force of his kisses pushing your back against your vanity table, the impact causing a few of your belongings to clatter to the ground. But you pay no mind, your focus is solely on Mark who stands between your parted thighs, his hands sliding beneath the bottom of your dress.
“Lift your hips a lil f’me.” Mark orders you, and you listen. With his fingers that hook under the band of your panties, he pulls them down in one swift movement, discarding the material carelessly to the side before his arm hooks around your back. 
You yelp in surprise as he effortlessly lifts you up from the vanity table, and your legs instinctively wrap around his hips to make sure you don’t fall, but it doesn’t matter when Mark drops you on the bed with a bounce.
Before you can fully register what happened, Mark’s hands curl around your ankle and he tugs you to the edge of the bed, and you watch with parted lips as his hand moves between your thighs to drag his middle finger through your slit.
“You’re fucking soaked…” Mark hums as he lowers himself down, gazing up at you from your parted thighs. A silent gasp leaves your lips as his two fingers sink into your tight, wet heat. “You had so much to say earlier, and now you’re quiet. Feels too good?”
“Just shut up.” You bite back, and a smile breaks out onto Mark’s face, sending you a wink before he leans down and swirls his tongue against your swollen clit, plunging his fingers into your cunt at a steady rhythm. 
Airy moans leave you as you try to watch Mark, but his free hand slowly creeps up your body and pushes down at your chest, making you fall back against the mattress with a huff. You’re reminded of the dress that’s still clinging to your body, making you regret not taking it off sooner, but all of your worries and problems are pushed to the side when you feel Mark’s drape your legs over his shoulders, closing him in.
“Fu—ah,” Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your back arches off the bed. You’re unable to use your words, lost in the feeling of Mark sucking at your clit and his fingers curling in your spongy walls, brushing over that spot that has your thighs tightening around his head. 
One hand grips the bedsheets, and your other lands on top of his hair, threading your fingers through the overgrown strands and you tug, eliciting a groan from his chest. You’re grinding your pussy against his face, desperate for more, and he doesn’t seem to mind, allowing you to use him as you please. 
Until your legs soon fall from his shoulders when Mark forces them apart, spreading you out in front of him when he feels your climax approaching, and he leans back as he watches his fingers pump into you. The speed in which his fingers move has your legs closing around his hand, and his tongue clicks against his teeth in a sound of disapproval.
“Keep them open,” Mark warns you, and when you fail to listen, his fingers slow down, causing you to glare at him. “Don’t look at me like that. What did I just say?” Your legs part, and Mark nods his head. “That’s right…” 
He picks up speed, and he drives his fingers inside your cunt, a grin playing on his lips as he keeps his gaze locked on yours, staring down at your face as he leans over you. You gasp when his thumb rubs your clit for stimulation, and you immediately cum.
The squelching sound of your wetness is heard throughout the room along with your wailing, your body shakes and walls contract around his fingers. He’s laughing as he fingers you through your orgasm, watching as your body trembles and your hips rut against his hand.
You cry out in pleasure, your body shaking and your brain fuzzy as Mark fingers you through your high, and laughs as he watches you tremble, your hips rutting against his hand before you slump back, trying to catch your breath.
Mark removes his fingers from your sensitive cunt, and you watch through hazed vision as he sucks them clean. The sight alone is enough to have a surge of energy rush through your veins, and you sit up to pull him into a kiss. Mark groans when your tongue slides into his mouth, and when he kneels in between your thighs, he takes hold of your wrist and guides your hands towards his belt.
You immediately know what he wants you to do, and you comply. You unbuckle his belt hastily through hungry kisses, and make quick work of the button and zipper, tugging the material down to the middle of his thighs along with his boxers.
Usually, you would’ve completely rid him of his clothes and yourself. But on this specific night, you were too desperate to have him to go through with the task, and Mark seems to be feeling the same when he suddenly throws you around. 
You huff as the air is knocked out of your lungs when you’re flipped onto your tummy, and you turn your head to the side, cheek mushed against your pillow as you watch Mark through your lashes. He’s fisting his cock, tip leaky and red, spreading his precum around the base. He taps his cock on your puffy folds and you squirm, an irritated whine leaving your lips to which Mark smirks at.
You grit through your teeth, “Hurry up.”
“Just admiring the view,” Mark cheekily replies, giving you a wink before his cock nudges between your folds. “Breathe.” He instructs you.
You bite back the remark that’s resting on the tip of your tongue, and you inhale deeply, only to let out a drawn out moan when Mark pushes himself inside, the familiarity of him stretching out your cunt making your toes curl and fingers grip the bed sheets.
Once he’s fully seated inside your warmth, buried in you to the hilt, you feel his ringed hands slide up your spine beneath your dress, his blunt fingernails pressing into your skin as he drags his hand back down before gripping your hips, keeping you still as he begins to thrust.
“So wet ‘n tight for me, baby…” Mark grunts, pinching your hips. He lays a firm slap on your ass, “So good f’me. Always so good.”
He repeatedly pumps in and out of you, gradually picking up his speed, and you find yourself moaning with each deep thrust of his hips. You fuck yourself back onto his cock when you feel his grip loosen on you, and your volume increases, mewling at the feeling of Mark’s cock fucking you so deep that it makes your head feels fuzzy.
You pant, “I wan’ more.”
“More?” Mark repeats with a chuckle, and his lips curl into a grin as he watches your ass bounce back on his cock. “I’m already deep inside your guts, what more could you want?”
You give him a dark glare in warning, “Mark—”
“You already cum once too,” Mark tsks, and you feel his hand slip around your waist to slot between your thighs. You shiver when you feel the pads of his ringed fingers brush over your puffy clit, “Fucking greedy, aren’t you? You take, take, take…” 
You gasp as his fingers start rubbing slow circles, and your pussy clamps around his cock. “Ah!”
“Good thing I’ll always give you what you want, right?”
Your mouth hangs open, and your eyebrows knit together from the stimulation of Mark’s cock fucking into you and rubbing your clit, the pleasure building. He’s grunting loudly behind you, his free hand giving harsh taps to your ass and soothing over the sore area.
It surprises you slightly when Mark’s hips slows down for a moment as he bends over you to press a wet smooch to your cheek, but you crane your neck awkwardly to capture his lips in a kiss, only lasting a few moments before he straightens and resumes his pace. 
“Gonna cum for me, sweet thing?” Mark asks when he feels the walls of your cunt flutter around him, knowing all too well. You nod your head quickly, and Mark smiles as he pinches your clit, eliciting a squeal from you. “Wait.”
You gape at him, “Wai—you’re joking?”
He raises an eyebrow, “Do I look like I’m joking?”
“I can’t wait!” You bristle, shaking your head quickly, already feeling the pleasure build up in your tummy.
All Mark does is laugh at you, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he mutters about you always getting what you want, and you go to snap back to defend yourself, but the words fail to come out of your mouth when you feel his cock swell inside of your cunt, and with one harsh thrust of his hips, you’re cumming with a loud cry of his name.
He curses under his breath, trying his best to keep the momentum as he pushes further into your tightening walls, only for his orgasm to hit harshly. He’s hips jerk, his cock pumping you full of cum, and he’s breathing heavily as his hands rub your sides.
You’re sweaty and sticky, immediately regretting not taking off your dress the second he had you against the vanity table earlier. You grunt at the ache in your hips and lower back as Mark pulls his cock out of you, and you slump to the bed with a huff, allowing your body to relax while muttering quiet complaints.  
Mark chuckles at your antics, and he reaches out, pressing his fingers into your lower back to massage you and you grin happily, melting at his touch. 
“Spoilt,” Mark states, and you lift your hand to give him the middle finger in retaliation. Mark grins and continues his ministrations for a few more minutes before he lets you go, causing you to jut your bottom lip out into a pout as you turn to look at him. “Easy, girl. You need to go pee, and then we’re gonna go shower. Get you cleaned up.”
A smirk makes its way onto your face as you tease, “How chivalrous.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” He waves dismissively at you, and he stands up from your bed. He offers a hand out to you and you take it, feeling his fingers clasp around yours as he pulls you up, and he wraps a steady arm around your waist as your feet touch the ground. “I still got some weed leftover from the party, I’ll roll when we’re done. Pink skins for the princess, right?”
Feeling smug and confident, you raise your head high. “Right.”
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©𝗠𝗥𝗞𝗜𝗦
968 notes · View notes
sturnioz · 9 days
Text
‘BAD HABITS’ — MATTHEW STURNIOLO
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pairing. matthew sturniolo x fem!reader genre. smut
word count. 6.6k
❝you know you're my favourite.❞
content warnings. toxic situationship, jealousy, heavy mentions of alcohol and weed, dealer!matt indications, explicit content, manhandling, oral (female receiving), dirty talk, mean!matt, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie.
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Don’t look at him.
You mentally tell yourself as you forcibly tear your gaze away from Matt who enters into the house party with a girl at his side, capturing a glimpse in your peripheral vision of how his hand rests at the base of her back, guiding her through the crowded room.
Stop looking at him.
You remind yourself again when your gaze inevitably draws back to him, and from across the room, you find yourself fixated on his every move. You watch as he greets his brothers and friends with grins and handshakes before settling onto the couch they’re occupying. The girl follows, gracefully positioning herself beside Matt, her hands adorned with sharp manicured nails gliding onto his thigh.
Stop.
Your tongue prods at your cheek in annoyance as you watch how close they lean into each other to speak, how Matt’s words seem to make her giggle and she flicks her hair behind her shoulder when Matt smiles at her, clearly enjoying his obvious flirtatious comments. Irritated, your grip tightens around the cup you’ve been nursing all night, and yor forcefully tear your eyes away from the scene as Matt’s gaze finally meets yours.
The relationship you have with Matt is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before, and it’s not one you’re eager to let go of anytime soon. Matt is a friend—someone who you can rely on when things go south, someone who picks you up in his car for late-night food runs and smokes weed until the sun rises, and he’s someone who you actively sleep with just to get rid of that dull ache between your thighs.
You hate how well he knows your body, sometimes even better than you know it yourself. You hate how easy it is for him to whisper things into your ear, igniting something within you that leaves you breathless and yearning for more. You hate how his touch makes you weak and desperate, craving for more than just his hands. You hate how his eyes alone can have you on your knees in an instant, and his cock weighing heavily on your tongue.
But you know deep down that you have some sort of effect on Matt too, always finding it amusing how easy it was to get him alone with you, to make him drop whatever he was doing just to be in your presence. It, admittedly, brings you a lot of satisfaction in knowing that you both have some kind of similar hold over each other.
Although, there have been a handful of moments where he has ignored or rejected you, much like tonight.
It was you who had invited him to come to this party.
It was you that brought it up to him when you were fucking in the backseat of his car. 
It was you that had asked him to accompany you, only for you to be shut down and told that he wasn’t interested in ‘some lame house party’, and instead revealing that he had other plans for that night.
Before you even arrived at the party earlier, you saw the Snapchat story posted by the girl who is currently clinging to his side like a leech. The image was blurry, but you could make out her holding two joints, with a caption tagging Matt to thank him, and promising a fun night. 
At first, you figured it was a deal, being aware that Matt sometimes sells his weed on the side for extra cash, but you never expected that his ‘other plans’ would involve bringing her to a party he rejected coming to in the first place.
It honestly made you fucking pissed.
You mentally chastise yourself to get a grip and you scoff loudly, tilting your head back and gulping down the rest of your drink, the alcohol searing your throat and momentarily distracting you from your own fiery emotions. You lower the cup, swiping the back of your hand at the corner of your lips and wiping away any lingering traces of the liquid just as your best friend nears with you a drunken flush.
“Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Anna exclaims as she flings her arms around your shoulders for a hug, but her embrace falters as she notices the sour expression on your face. “What’s happened?”
“I’m out,” You say, gesturing towards your empty cup with a tight lipped smile, trying to hold yourself back from admitting—”Oh. And Matt’s here.”
“I thought he said no to coming?” Anna’s brows knit together in confusion, and she glances over your shoulder in search, catching a glimpse of Matt and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. But her expression quickly shifts to one of exasperation as she rolls her eyes, directing her attention back to you. “Are we really surprised? You know exactly what Matt’s like.”
“I know.” You hate it.
Anna continues, “He’s always been like this.”
“I know.” You really hate it.
Anna takes a moment to stare at you before she sighs, her shoulders slumping as she crosses her arms over her front. “Yet, it still doesn’t change the fact that you’re thinking about him right now.”
She’s got you there. “I know…”
Anna firmly places her hands on your cheeks, and grips you with enough force to have you stare straight into her determined eyes. “Forget him. He’s just some guy you’re fucking occasionally, and you know what that means?” You blink in response, causing her lips to curl into a grin. “It means you are single and free to fuck anyone you want. We’re here to have fun, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!”
She’s right. 
Of course she’s right.
Her words bring a genuine smile to your lips and you nod in agreement, determined to not let something so silly ruin the rest of your night.
Anna wastes no time she excuses herself, returning back to you quickly with fresh drinks and tapping her cup against yours with a mischievous grin. You both take a few hearty gulps, allowing the alcohol to course through your veins and lighten your mood, head buzzing as she slips her fingers through yours to tug you away from your current position.
You mingle with a few of her other friends you’re familiar with, diving deep in conversations, laughing at jokes shared among the group, throwing flirtatious comments here and there when someone shows clear interest in you.
But you weren’t interested in them.
Not at all.
Not when you can still see Matt in your line of vision, who remains in his position on the couch, engrossed in his own conversation with his brothers, friends, and the girl who has yet to leave his side, seemingly unwilling to leave.
Your jaw locks tight when Matt occasionally meets your gaze, rubbing his palms on his jean-cladded thighs and shifting in his seat, manspreading as he relaxes back against the cushions. Your eyes narrow, fighting the urge to roll them when the girl beside him snuggles in closer, offering a smile that could make anyone swoon, but he’s not even looking at her now.
He’s fully looking at you.
Matt’s head tilts to the side slightly, the corner of his lips curling into a subtle smirk, leaving you with a mix of conflicting emotions that makes your head spin. On one hand, there’s a part of you that wants to wipe that look off of his face, fueled by your annoyance and frustration. But on the other hand, there’s a part of you that can’t help but be drawn to that smirk, wanting to bask in the attention and keep his gaze fixed permanently on you and only you.
A bitter taste lingers on the tip of your tongue as Matt’s attention is taken away from you, watching as he leans his head down to listen to the girl who whispers in his ear, her fingertips resting on his jawline to keep him close. A forced laugh escapes your lips, the sound tinged with bitterness and your tongue prods at the insane of your cheek. 
You rip your gaze away from the pair, redirecting your focus on Anna who looks at you with a confused expression, clearly bewildered by your sudden laughter and you try to shake off that ugly feeling that has settled within you, offering her a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes and Anna spots that immediately.
She calls out your name, wanting to question your odd behaviour but her words come to a half when the guy beside you grabs the attention of the group. Was it Jason? Jaiden? You can’t quite remember, and frankly you don’t really care enough to remember. But you remain silent as he speaks, asking if anyone knows where he can buy weed at the party, if there is anyone who knows who sells as he assures that he has the cash.
Matt. The name flickers in your mind almost instantly, and you meet Anna’s gaze as she subtly shakes her head at you, knowing exactly what you’re thinking.
“I know someone,” You announce, and Anna sighs deeply in defeat. You ignore her reaction as you extend your hand towards the guy. “Give me the money. I’ll go get it.”
“Are you sure?” He asks in surprise, hesitating for a moment despite already having the dollar bills ready in the palm of his hand. “I don’t mind getting it—”
“It’s fine.” You cut him off abruptly, curling your fingers around the bills to take into your own hands. You turn on your heels, making a beeline directly towards Matt as you slip through the crowd, pushing through the bodies with determination and fire coursing through your veins, fingers grasping the money tighter as you get closer, eyes locked in on Matt as he watches you near.
As you stand in front of him, your gaze shifts to the girl by his side, tongue clicking against your teeth with bitterness tinging your thoughts as you observe her shuffling closer. Her hand now rests on Matt’s bicep, fingers sinking into the fabric of his hoodie.
The sight alone stirs a mixture of annoyance, frustration, and jealousy in the pit of your stomach and in the moment, you find yourself in an internal struggle to either make some snarky or bitchy comment in hopes to get Matt to understand how pissed off you truly are, or to continue with what you were originally here for. 
“Pre-rolls.” Is what you say with a monotone and direct voice, deciding to get straight to the point, and you extend your hand as you show Matt the money, making your intention clear.
Matt’s eyes briefly lower to the money before returning to meet yours, “For you or someone else?”
“Does it matter?” You reply sharply. “Pre-rolled joints, please.”
“For someone else then,” You hear Matt mutter under his breath as he digs inside the pocket of his jeans to pull out exactly what you need, but he’s quick to pull it out of reach as you go to snatch it from his grasp. Your frustration grows within you as you glare at him, but he takes no notice of your expression as he asks, “Are you smoking too?”
You huff, “Obviously.”
You watch as Matt reaches back into his pocket and your demeanour shifts slightly as he pulls out another batch of pre-rolls, ones you’re all too familiar with as you see the pink-coloured skins. He knows you prefer spliffs over joints. You want to continue being annoyed and angry with how he knows you all too well but yet, deep down, you feel touched as your heart thumps wildly in your chest and a flutter of warmth swirls in the pit of your stomach at the seemingly thoughtful gesture.
You bite down on your tongue, not wanting to let him know how much that simple action affected you so much, “I don’t have enough money for two.”
“You don’t pay for yours anyways.” Matt states matter-of-factly as he takes the money for the one pre-roll but hands you the two. It’s true, you think, curling your fingers around the two pre-rolls he's given you. You’ve never paid him when asking for a smoke… he doesn’t let you pay him.
“You giving out freebies?” The girl beside him speaks up for the first time, her tone playful as she decides to jump in on the conversation. She nudges Matt’s shoulder as she teases, “Pink skins too? How come I don’t get that treatment?”
“Because I’m his favourite,” You find yourself replying before your brain can register it, sending her a forced tight-lipped smile as she looks up at you in surprise, not expecting you to be the one to respond. But you couldn’t care less. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“I was talking more about the pink skins,” She snips back at you, and your tongue prods at your cheek once again, fighting off the urge to laugh as she turns to look at Matt as she smiles. “I like pink.”
“They’re for her.” Matt says as he gestures towards you with a nod of his head. The girl’s face drops, her smile completely fading and a sense of satisfaction washes over you. You offer her a sweet sickly smile in return before leaving, heading straight back to your group who are patiently waiting for you to come back.
Anna comes to stand beside you as you and the joint over to Jason (you managed to overhear his name as you were nearing closer to the group) and he grins in victory, thank you with a wet, dramatic smooch to your cheek before lighting it up, taking a hit and passing it around the group.
Anna leans her head down, disappointment clear in her tone as she speaks to you in hushed whispers, ridiculing you for suggesting Matt in the first place, but her tone soon shifts to curiosity and wonder, wanting to know what happened between you and Matt, and what you both had spoken about.
You’re partially honest with your answer, replying that the only topic of conversation was about the deal and that you were able to get exactly what you wanted and more as you showed her your own little gift. She grins, bumping her shoulder to yours proudly before jumping into a conversation with the others, taking the joint out of a friend's hand while you tuck yours away in your purse, saving it for later.
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You had enough.
The irritation you feel becomes unbearable, unable to be masked by the alcohol coursing through your veins.
The sight of Matt and the girl still in the same position on the couch sitting close, sharing whispers and smiles. It gnaws at you despite your failed attempts to bury them with distractions by dancing with others and kissing others with lingering touches.
You’ve reached your breaking point.
You wish you were drunk enough to ignore everything and continue with the night, but unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case.
You want to leave.
Most importantly, you want to leave with Matt.
You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. It would be so easy for you to leave without him, or even find someone else to go home with—that being Anna or some random stranger. But honestly, you couldn’t care less about the easy options. You never cared.
Abandoning your half-empty cup without a second thought, you leave Anna behind, not even bothering to fill her in on what you’re about to do. The sound of her questioning fades into the background as you make your way towards the living-room area with a determined stride.
As you approach closer, a sense of tunnel vision takes over; everything else seems to fade into the background too, sounds becoming distant whispers or muted, completely overshadowed by your thoughts and emotions.
You begin to second guess how this upcoming conversation would go. If Matt would actually leave with you this time if you asked. After all, he did say no to coming here with you… so why would he leave with you?
You internally scowl at yourself for even thinking about something so negative.
He’s wrapped around your finger just as much as you’re wrapped around his.
“I’m leaving,” You announce as soon as you stand in front of Matt, not even giving him enough time to react to your sudden appearance. He remains unbothered though, his gaze casually meeting yours as he lifts a soda can to his lips. His eyebrow raises in response, and without missing a beat, you continue, “Come home with me.”
The girl sitting beside Matt reacts with utter disbelief, her mouth dropping open as she scoffs at your audacity, her eyebrows knitting together at your words but you’re unfazed by her reaction. It doesn’t make you feel bad at all, not as your focus remains on Matt, waiting for his response.
And in that moment, you feel a sense of victory and satisfaction swell in your chest when Matt gives a simple nod of his head and rises from the couch, reaching for his car keys that are clipped to the belt loop of his jeans as he bids his brothers and friends goodbye.
“Wait!” The girl exclaims as she interrupts, tone filled with desperation as her hand shoots out, gripping Matt’s arm tightly, halting his movements. Her eyes shift towards you at first, giving you a harsh look before turning her attention back to Matt. “Are you serious right now? You were my ride here. How am I supposed to get home?”
You hold yourself back, biting down on your tongue to stop yourself from responding, though your annoyance is clearly visible on your face. You keep silent, watching as Matt’s face remains impassive.
“That’s not my problem,” He states bluntly, removing her grip from his arm without hesitation, words devoid of any sympathy. “You’ll figure it out.”
The girl’s jaw drops even further, shocked at Matt’s sudden change in attitude and tone. A smug grin finds its way onto your lips, unable to contain that satisfaction bubbling within you, and you wave your fingers in her direction as Matt’s arm finds its way around your waist, resting his hand on your hip as he leads you out of the area.
As you’re leaving the building, Anna’s disappointed gaze lingers on you, but she still mouths for you to be careful and gestures for you to call her when you get home. You nod your head in promise, blowing her a kiss before turning away and leaving her behind.
The cold air brushes against your burning skin, but your mind is too preoccupied with a whirlwind of angry thoughts and unanswered questions, and the scowl on your face is clear. Matt continues to lead the way, guiding you toward his parked car in silence.
It’s deafening, and you hate it, intensifying the frustrations that build within you. 
You’re getting angrier.
You’re the first to climb into the vehicle, slamming the door of the passenger side with enough force it rattles the car. Matt, who seems completely oblivious to your anger (or just doesn’t take any notice), takes his place in the driver's seat, and his ongoing silence fuels your irritation even more. 
Without sparing you a glance, Matt inserts the key into the ignition and twists, setting the car’s engine rumbling to life. His attention is glued to the dashboard as he presses a few buttons to turn on the radio, playing a song you’re all too familiar with but not in the mood to vibe along with like you usually would.
Your frustration grows further when Matt casually drapes one arm around the back of your seat, focussing behind as he reverses then pulls out of the parking space, the car gradually gaining momentum as it merges onto the road. 
Settling back into your seat with your arms crossed tight over your chest, your gaze alternates between the side of Matt’s face and the road ahead. You’re aware that it would be best to stay quiet and allow yourself to calm down before questioning him, yet the curiosity mixed with annoyance within you refuses to be silenced.
You bite down on your tongue hard—you can do this.
… You can’t. 
“I thought you weren’t coming tonight,” You finally speak, unable to hold back your words. The bitterness seeps into your tone as you continue. “I thought you weren’t interested in ‘some lame house party’... what happened to that?”
Matt’s response comes with a nonchalant tone that irks you, “I’m not interested,” He shrugs his shoulders. “I had things planned, but plans changed.”
“Right,” You hum. “So you decided to come to a party, which I invited you to, with a girl?” You struggle to hide the tinge of jealousy in your voice.
Matt glances at you briefly, and a smirk slides onto his lips. His audacity strikes a nerve and you release a dry laugh, your tongue prodding at your cheek in disbelief.
“Jess was one of the people I was selling weed to tonight,” Matt explains casually. “Chris texted me while I was at her house that he was at this party, and he wanted to buy weed. I told him I’d drop by and give him some.”
Jess. Her name makes your face scrunch up in displeasure. “Okay. Then you somehow ended up coming to the party with Jess and stayed for the majority of the night.”
Matt grins, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip. “She was actually planning to go to the party after she saw me. But once she found out that I was heading there, she asked if she could ride with me. I drove her, and when I realised Chris wasn’t outside, I was going to leave. Then Jess said she’d help me find him inside, so I went in.”
You mutter under your breath, the words escaping in a frustrated whisper, “Still doesn’t explain why you stayed.”
“I got caught up with my brothers and friends,” Matt responds simply, and his hand reaches over the centre console to rest on top of your thigh, squeezing the flesh beneath his fingers. His touch attempts to soothe you, his voice softening. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” You lie through gritted teeth. “Just wish you would’ve at least told me you were coming, or came up and said hello when you arrived.”
“I’m sorry,” His apology is minimal, but his tone sounds sincere as his thumb draws circles on your skin. “Like I said, I wasn’t planning on staying,” Matt takes a quick glance over at you, that smirk returning. “Besides, you’re wearing that dress I like, sweetheart… walking up and saying hello wouldn’t be the first thing I’d do.”
You hum at that, twisting in your seat to face him, “And what exactly would you do?”
Matt answers without missing a beat, “The same thing I did last time I saw you at a party.”
The low tone of his voice sends a shiver down your spine and your thighs squeeze together to relieve that sudden ache in your cunt, vividly remember that night qt a house party where he dragged you upstairs and fucked you silly in someone else’s bathroom, not caring that the mirror rattled against the wall and belongings off all sorts had fallen off the sink, creating a mess on the floor that neither of you bothered to clean up when leaving. 
“I don’t remember,” You lie, giving him a glossy smile. “I think you have to remind me.”
Matt looks out into the open road, “Do you see a bathroom anywhere?”
“Funny,” You roll your eyes, but you lean over to brush your fingers over his crotch. “You can just remind me here—”
“We’re not fucking in my car,” His words make your eyebrows raise in shock, and your mouth drops open with a scoff as you rip your hand away. Matt smiles, his fingers tightening on the steering wheel. “Last time we were in here, you ruined my seats. That shit costs too much to clean, sweetheart.”
You’re bitter as you reply, “You didn’t seem to complain when you were desperate to make me cum over and over again.”
Matt’s laughter fills the car, his tongue clicking against his teeth as he shakes his head at your bitter attitude. The sound gets on your nerves immediately. You scoff once more, crossing your arms back over your chest and directing your gaze out the window, intentionally ignoring him for the rest of the journey. 
As the car turns onto your street and your home comes into view, you reach for your seatbelt. Once Matt parks the car outside your house, you swiftly unbuckle and slide out of the car, slamming the passenger door shut so hard that it rattles it again. The sound of Matt’s laughter only further irritates you.
With your house key in hand, you unlock the front door and step inside, feeling Matt’s presence behind you. His warmth brushes against your back, but you refuse to acknowledge it, striding towards your room.
Standing by your vanity table, you remove your sparkly earrings, your focus solely on the task at hand as you bite the skin of your cheek with a scowl.
“Don’t tell me you’re ignoring me,” Matt drawls, his voice reaching your eyes. You raise your head to meet his gaze in the mirror’s reflection. He’s leaning against the door frame with a smirk on his lips despite the feigned upset tone in his voice. He continues, “You told me to come home with you, and now you’re giving me this treatment? All because I wouldn’t fuck you in my car? That’s cold, sweetheart.”
You huff quietly, even though you know deep down that Matt’s words hold some truth. You continue to stay quiet, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and placing it back in its designated spot.
Matt’s tongue pokes at his cheek as he continues, “I could’ve just stayed with Jess—”
You immediately bristle, and you whirl around to face him. “You’re not funny.”
Matt’s grin widens, his eyes sparkling. “Got you to finally talk to me, though.”
You let out a forced laugh, and you plant your hands firmly on your hips as you glare at Matt. “You know what? You can go—I don’t care. Go. Go back to the party and spend the rest of your night with Jess.”
“Hey,” Matt’s response is immediate as he moves toward you, standing right in front of you. His fingers reach up to grasp your jaw, the cool sensations of his rings stinging your warm skin. He playfully shakes your head, and a part of you wants to shove him away, but you remain still. “Enough, kid. You know I’d rather be here with you anyways.”
And you do. Deep down, you know that. 
But you love pushing his buttons, especially with the thrill it gives you.
Pressing further, you challenge him, “Do I actually?”
Matt’s voice hums with confidence. “Of course you do. You know you’re my favourite.”
You blink at him, unimpressed. “There are others?”
Matt sucks in a deep breath, his grip on your jaw tightening as a playful warning. You can’t help but grin now, pleased in your ability to get under his skin so easily. “You’re a pain in my ass, I swear.”
A giggle escapes your lips as you slide your arms around his shoulders, and his hand releases your jaw to rest at the base of your spine. His fingers put gentle pressure, urging you closer, and you willingly comply as you allow your chest to press against his.
Your fingers curl around the hair at the nape of Matt’s neck, the grin on your lips unfaltering as you continue to taunt him. “Pain in your ass, yet you still can’t get enough of me,” You then mockingly gasp, “Don’t tell me you like me, Matt?”
“Yeah, yeah, you wish,” Matt mutters dismissively, his head dipping low to press his lips to yours in a heated kiss, sending a surge of electricity through your veins. You respond eagerly without a moment of hesitation, matching his fervour, your lips moving in perfect sync.
Matt’s hand glides up from your lower spine to firmly grip the back of your neck, keeping you pressed against him. The sensation of his touch sends shivers down your spine, and you fist the material of his hoodie in your grasp, ensuring that he stays close to you. 
As the kiss deepens, you feel a gentle nip of his teeth on your bottom lip, causing you to gasp at the pinch. Your lips part, giving him an invitation for his tongue to slip inside your mouth. The taste of him, the mingling of your breath, it’s intoxicating to you, and you want more.
The force of his kisses push you back against your vanity table, the impact causing a few of your belongings clattering to the ground. But you pay no mind, your focus is solely on Matt who stands between your parted thighs, his hands sliding beneath the bottom of your dress. 
“Lift your hips a lil f’me.” Matt orders you, and you listen. With his fingers that hook under the band of your panties, he pulls them down in one swift movement, discarding the lacy material carelessly to the side before his arm hooks around your back.
You yelp in surprise as he effortlessly lifts you up from the vanity table, and your legs instinctively lock around his hips to make sure you don’t fall, but it doesn’t matter when Matt drops you down on the bed with a bounce. 
Before you can fully register what happened, Matt’s hand curls around your ankle and he tugs you to the edge of the bed, and you watch with parted lips as his hand moves between your thighs to drag his middle finger through your slit. 
“You’re fucked soaked…” Matt hims as he lowers himself down, gazing up at you from your parted thighs. A silent gasp leaves your lips as his two fingers sink into your tight, wet heat. “You had so much to say earlier, and now you’re quiet. Does it feel too good?”
“Just shut up.” You bite back, and a smile breaks out onto Matt’s face, sending you a wink before he leans down. His tongue swirls against your sensitive clit, plunging his fingers into your cunt at a steady rhythm.
Breathy moans leave you as you try to watch Matt, but his free hand slowly creeps up your body and pushes down at your chest, making you fall back against the mattress with a huff. You’re reminded of the dress that’s still clinging to your body, making you regret not taking it off sooner, but all your worries and problems are pushed to the side when you feel Matt drapes your legs over his shoulders, closing him in.
“Fu—ah!” Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your back arches off the bed. You’re unable to use your words, lost in the feeling of Matt sucking at your clit and the curl of his fingers against your spongy walls, brushing over that spot that has your thighs tightening around his hand.
One of your hands grip the bed sheet, and your other lands on top of his head, threading your fingers through the overgrown strands as you tug, eliciting a groan from his chest. You’re grinding your pussy against his face, desperate for more, and he doesn’t seem to mind, allowing you to use him as you please.
That’s until your legs soon fall from his shoulders when Matt forces them apart, spreading you out in front of him when he feels your climax approaching, and he leans back as he watches his fingers pump into you. The speed in which his fingers move has your legs closing around his hand, and his tongue clicks against his teeth in a sound of disapproval.
“Keep ‘em open,” Matt warns you, and when you fail to listen, his fingers slow down, causing you to glare at him. “Don’t look at me like that. What did I just say?” Your legs slowly part, and Matt nods his head. “That’s right…”
He picks up the speed once more, and he drives his fingers inside your cunt, a grin playing on his lips as he keeps his gaze locked on yours, staring down at your face as he leans over you. You gasp loudly when his thumb rubs your clit for stimulation, and you immediately cum.
The squelching sound of your wetness is hard throughout the room along with your wailing, and your body shakes and your pussy contracts around his fingers. He’s laughing as he fingers you through your orgasm, watching as your body trembles and your hips rut against his hand.
You cry out in pleasure, your body shaking and your brain fuzzy as you slump back against the bed, trying to catch your breath.
Matt removes his fingers from your sensitive cunt, and you watch through hazed vision as he sucks them clean. The sight alone is enough to have a surge of energy rush through your veins, and you sit up to pull him into a kiss. Matt groans when your tongue slides into his mouth, and when he kneels in between your thighs, he takes hold of your wrists and guides your hands towards his belt. 
You immediately know what he wants you to do, and you comply. You unbuckle his belt hastily through hungry kisses, making quick work of the button and zipper, tugging the material down to the middle of his thighs along with his boxers.
Usually, you would’ve completely rid him of his clothes and yourself. But on this specific night, you were too desperate to have him to go through with the task, and Matt seems to be feeling the same when he suddenly throws you around.
You huff as the air is knocked out of your lungs when you’re flipped onto your tummy, and you turn your head to the side, cheek mushed against your pillow as you watch Matt through your lashes. He’s fisting his cock, tip leaky and red, spreading his precum around the base. 
He tapes his cock on your puffy folds and you squirm, an irritated whine leaving your lips to which Matt smirks at.
You grit through your teeth, “Hurry up.”
“Just admiring the view,” Matt cheekily replies, giving you a wink as he taps your ass before his cock nudges between your folds. “Breathe.” He instructs you.
You bite back the remark that’s resting on the tip of your tongue, and you inhale deeply, only to let out a drawn out moan when Matt pushes himself inside, the familiarity of him stretching out your pussy makes your toes curl and fingers grip the bed sheets.
Once he’s fully seated inside your warmth, buried in you to the hilt, you feel his ringed hands slide up your spine beneath your dress, his blunt fingernails pressing into your skin as he drags his hand back down before gripping your hips, keeping you still as he begins to thrust.
“So wet ‘n tight for me, sweetheart…” Matt grunts, pinching your hips. He lays a firm slap on your ass. “So good f’me. Always so good.”
He repeatedly pumps in and out of you, gradually picking up his speed, and you find yourself moaning with each deep thrust of his hips. You fuck yourself back onto his cock when you feel his grip loosen on you, and your volume increases, mewling at the feeling of Matt’s cock fucking you so deep that it makes your head fuzzy.
You pant, almost drooling, “I wan’ more.”
“More?” Matt repeats with a chuckle, and his lips curl into a grin as he watches your ass bounce back on his cock. “I’m already deep inside your guts. What more could you possibly want?”
You give him a dark glare in warning, “Matt—”
“You already cum once too,” Matt tsks, and you feel his hand slip around your waist to slot between your thighs. You shiver when you feel the pads of his ringed fingers brush over your clit. “Fucking greedy, kid. You take, take, take…”
You gasp as his fingers start rubbing slow circles, and your pussy clamps around his cock. “Ah!”
“Good thing I’ll always give you what you want, right?”
Your mouth drops open, and your eyebrows knit together from the stimulation of Matt’s cock fucking into you and his fingers rubbing at your clit, the pleasure building. He’s grunting loudly behind you, his free hand giving harsh slaps to your ass and soothing over the sore area.
It surprises you when Matt’s hips start to slow down for a moment, and he bends over you to press a wet smooch to your cheek. You crane your neck awkwardly to capture his lips in a kiss, only lasting a few seconds before he straightens back up and resumes his pace.
“Good cum for me, sweetheart?” Matt asks when he feels the walls of your cunt flutter around him, knowing all too well. You nod your head quickly, and Matt smiles as he pinches your clit, eliciting a squeal from you. “Hold it.”
You gape at him, “Ho—you’re joking?”
He raises an eyebrow, “Do I look like I’m joking?”
“I can’t wait!!” You hiss, shaking your head quickly, already feeling the pleasure build up in your tummy.
All Matt does is laugh at you, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he mutters about you always getting what you want, and you go to snap back to defend yourself, but the words fail to come out of your mouth when you feel his cock swell inside of your cunt, and with one harsh thrust of his hips, you’re cumming with a loud cry of his name.
He curses under his breath, trying his best to keep the momentum as he pushes further into your tightening walls, only for his orgasm to hit harshly. He’s hips jerk, his cock pumping you full of cum, and he’s breathing heavily as his hands rub your sides.
You’re sweaty and sticky, immediately regretting not taking off your dress the second he had you against the vanity table earlier. You grunt at the ache in your hips and lower back as Matt pulls his cock out of you, and you slump to the bed with a huff, allowing your body to relax while muttering quiet complaints.
Matt chuckles at your antics, and he reaches out, pressing his fingers into your lower back to massage you and you grin happily, melting at his touch. 
“Spoilt,” Matt states, and you lift your hand to give him the middle finger in retaliation. Matt grins and continues his ministrations for a few more minutes before he lets you go, causing you to jut your bottom lip out into a pout as you turn to look at him. “Easy, kid. You need to go pee, and then we’re gonna go shower. Get you cleaned up.”
A smirk makes its way onto your face as you tease, “How chivalrous.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” He waves dismissively at you, and he stands up from your bed. He offers a hand out to you and you take it, feeling his fingers clasp around yours as he pulls you up, and he wraps a steady arm around your waist as your feet touch the ground. “I still got some weed leftover from the party, I’ll roll when we’re done. Pink skins for the princess, right?”
Feeling smug and confident, you raise your head high. “Right.”
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© sturnioz
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elliesdoll · 3 months
Text
idk why i keep thinking abt angsty loser!ellie… she is my baby
nsfw! just ellie masturbating n crying (me) 𝜗𝜚
pts 2 & 3 already posted!
a wonderful anon said my fic reminded them of this song and they r so right… listen to it rn
daily click! do not buy tlou free palestine 🇵🇸
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ellie was so in love with you. she is so in love with you.
you are her light. your smile, your laugh, your everything. she just couldn’t get enough of you. being friends with you was probably the best blessing god could ever gift her, yet also the worst punishment.
she knew she could never have you.
not in the way she wanted, anyway.
you talk ellie’s ear off almost everyday, and ellie never gets tired of it. your sweet voice that felt like pure honey and warmth being poured into her ears. so sickly sweet. she swore you were a siren of some sort.
you were so perfect and you didn’t even know it. you would tell ellie about your escapades and little ‘situationships’ as you’d like to call it, and it made her sick. every last person you talked about seemed like shit. she couldn’t believe that you thought that’s all you were worthy of.
she would worship you if you gave her the chance.
she told you the same thing each time: “fuck them. you know you’re too pretty for them anyway.”
and you were always grateful for her. who else would remind you of your worth? you needed her, she was your rock. your fidgety, awkwardly nerdy rock.
she was always the shy type. or she was around you, at least. she was never too bashful, but sometimes she’d slip and show you just how nervous you make her. her freckled skin would turn all pink, her eyes avoiding your gaze. she’d have an awkward, thin-lipped smile, and you could feel the clamminess of her hands if she was touching you. you’d find it cute, how she’d just melt if you two were touching or you’d give her a compliment on literally anything.
but what you didn’t know, is how she hated herself for it.
after anytime you two hung out, she’d go home, stomping to her room and looking down at her feet. “so fucking stupid.” she’d mutter to herself, thinking of all the times she stuttered around you or got all warm in the face. but without fail, each little mishap would lead to her in her bed, a string of curses leaving her mouth while pathetically fingering herself to the thought of you.
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one particular night, she had shown up to your house unannounced. knocking at your door, leaning back on her heels as she waited for you to open up.
she doesn’t normally do this. she never does this. but she thought maybe you two had gotten close enough. just enough for her to show up at your home anytime she felt like seeing you.
so when you opened the door, and she saw your hair a bit disheveled, your cheeks flushed and what appeared to be a hickey below your jaw, that thought quickly went away.
“fuck, els. i’m sorry but… really bad timing.”
you said with a light chuckle, giving her an apologetic smile. she just stared at you, eyes wide and her cheeks red.
“fuck. i’m sorry, shit. i don’t know why i showed up here— i wasn’t thinking. sorry.”
she mutters, stuttering over her words. she hated how her tummy got all fuzzy and how her boxers suddenly felt all warm and soaked. all while having the biggest lump in her throat.
before you could say anything back, she was already speed walking away from your front door, down to her car. she got in and drove away, not even bothering to see if you were still there, watching her.
she felt so fucking stupid. her vision was blurry as she drove home, speeding until she finally parked in her driveway. who the fuck was in your house? which one was it fucking you? did they even love you like she did? she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
she swung the door open, then slammed it behind her as she ran to her room. she closed the door and locked in, and let the tears flow. she kicked her beat up converse off, and aggressively rubbed her cheeks to get rid of the wet tears that rolled down them.
“fucking idiot.”
“why the fuck would i?— god.”
“what did i think? she doesn’t love me.”
she mumbles to herself, all through hiccups and stuttered breaths. her pretty cheeks are wet with hot tears, her eyes red and watery. even her poor nose is all stuffed up, making her sound nasally as she dumbly insults herself.
one by one, she removes her clothes. she fiddles with the button of her jeans and undoes it, hooking her thumbs under the band of her boxers at the same time, and kicks it all off. she then moves to her hoodie, messily taking it off and cursing when it gets stuck on her little bun. she even takes her sports bra off, which she never does.
fully naked and vulnerable, she turns all the lights off and crawls into bed.
she sobs into her pillow, feeling like some pathetic idiot. she doesn’t know why she ever thought you’d feel for her the way she feels for you. she felt so fucking perverted too— getting wet over the idea of you getting fucked. getting wet over your smile, your touch.
she sniffles, her slender hand slithering down to her pussy. she sighs as her middle finger lightly swipes by her clit, feeling just how wet she is. she brings her ring finger into the mix and circles her clit, gathering all the wetness from her clenching hole.
she moans, quietly. ellie isn’t typically a moaner, but she is right now. she is for you. she rubs her clit rapidly, the sounds of her squelching pussy filling her dark room. she closes her eyes, not wanting to cum too quick. she stars to think about you, and her fingers go to plug her hole.
she imagines you below her, giving her that sweet smile as she made love to you. she wanted to love you so bad, it hurt.
“oh god— shit,” she whined to herself, legs spread and feet planted on her bed, knees bent as she mercilessly fucked herself to the thought of you. she wanted to make you cum by her fingers, mouth, cunt— whatever the fuck you wanted.
her imagination switched to your mouth on her pussy, lapping at her clit and eating her out like you’d die if you didn’t. she let out a shaky whine, imagining that her fingers were your tongue, moving in and out of her as your nose nudged her clit.
ellie’s breath sped up, her eyebrows knitted upwards as she felt that hot, sticky feeling in her belly just come flooding out. her cunt pushed out and clenched around her fingers, as she cums with a strangled cry. her body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and her thighs trembling as her slick came gushing out of her, staining her sheets below her.
she slowly pulled her fingers out, catching her breath. she could feel her heart in her ears. but the ache never left. she’s still crying, just not as theatrically. she doesn’t even bother cleaning herself up or her bed, just turning to the side and hugging her pillow. she shoves her face into the plush pillow, her wet face dampening the fabric. and there, cum sticking her thighs and pussy together, naked, she fell asleep.
and she’ll never move on, either. you haunt her, even in her dreams. doomed to love you in every reality.
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aaakkk i dunno how to end these 😖 this is my first fic(?) drabble thingy ever so pls be gentle haha lol ☺️☺️☺️👍
this is so rushed bai 😑
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steddieas-shegoes · 19 days
Text
not so different
for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt ‘graduation’
rated t | 994 words | cw: mention of past character death, mention of alcohol, language | tags: childhood friends, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, good uncle Wayne Munson
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Steve Harrington didn’t cry, not even when he fell off the slide at the playground and his knee bled for 15 minutes and his nanny had to call his mom.
But this was a special instance where he was allowed to be sad. His nanny even said so. He watched all the kids in his kindergarten class taking pictures with their moms and dads, uncles and aunts, grandpas and grandmas, and wondered why he didn’t have anyone here for him.
He found an empty classroom in the big kid hall as soon as the ceremony was done, sat behind the teacher’s desk, and cried into his knees.
“Did your daddy not show up either?” A voice asked from in front of him.
He lifted his head, vision blurry and face wet, to see Eddie.
Eddie had already done kindergarten once, but he had trouble with his phonics, so they kept him behind. He was the first kid to talk to Steve in class, but within a few days, Tommy and Carol and Heather had scared him away from Steve entirely.
“Um, no.”
“What about your mama?”
“She’s with my dad.”
“My mama is with God. Or that’s what a lot of people say. I dunno if she was friends with him or not, though. I think she just got buried in the ground and people are scared to tell me,” Eddie was sitting next to Steve now, his leg knocking against Steve’s.
Eddie didn’t sit still very well, and the teacher always said he had ants in his pants. Steve hoped he didn’t have them in there now; he didn’t want any ants on him.
“Where’s your dad?”
“He’s probably getting ‘rested again. He showed up being silly and my Uncle Wayne had to take him outside,” Eddie shrugged.
“Is he tired?” Steve asked, sniffling and leaning more against Eddie.
“No. Uncle Wayne says sometimes he has too much of the drinks in the bottles I’m not allowed to touch and it makes him act like he don’t got a brain,” Eddie didn’t sound that sad, but Steve still wanted to hug him. “So your daddy isn’t here?”
“No. I think he forgot.”
“Sorry he forgot. My Uncle Wayne never forgets. He even came to the lunch room for my birthday. He brought me a piece of pizza!” Eddie always sounded more excited than anyone else. Most of the kids in the class thought it was stupid, but Steve kind of liked the way his eyes got wide and his smile got so big it took up most of his face. “Maybe he can bring you a piece for your birthday next year.”
“He doesn’t even know me.”
“You can come meet him!”
The classroom door opened just as Eddie started to stand and reach for Steve’s hands to pull him up.
“There ya are, Ed! Been lookin’ everywhere. You want some ice cream?” An older man stood by the door, button up plaid shirt only half-tucked into his jeans.
“Can we bring Steve? He’s my friend.”
Steve’s head turned, shocked that Eddie would say that.
“We gotta ask his parents first, Ed.”
“His parents didn’t come.”
“Oh.” The man looked Steve up and down before seemingly settling on something. He gave a small smile and gestured for him to come closer. “What’s your favorite flavor, then?”
“I dunno. Never had anything except vanilla,” Steve admitted, afraid to look at the man who had to be Eddie’s Uncle Wayne.
“Well, that just won’t do, will it? Let’s go try every flavor at the diner. Benny just added a few new ones. Think there’s even a bubblegum one.”
Eddie clapped his hands and dragged Steve out the door by his arm.
“I bet you’ll like mint chip,” he said as Wayne followed behind them, fond smile on his face.
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Steve Harrington had only cried a few times in his life, but this was the second time it was happening in front of Eddie.
Eddie wasn’t conscious this time, though.
“If you wake up, I’ll take you to the diner and we can have ice cream. They’ve got a new raspberry white chocolate flavor that you’d like. I could use some mint chip right now,” Steve said around the tears.
Wayne had left the hospital an hour ago to freshen up and grab one of his crossword puzzle books. Steve had been crying for most of that hour, holding Eddie’s hand and quietly begging him to wake up.
Two days without hearing his voice or watching his smile light up the room was too long, especially after having it for the last 13 years.
“How’re you gonna walk at graduation if you’re still asleep here, huh?” Steve closed his eyes and wiped at his cheeks.
“You can walk with me.”
Steve’s head shot up at Eddie’s quiet, but surprisingly strong voice.
“Eddie!”
“Hey, Stevie. Heard you’re takin’ me for ice cream,” Eddie’s smile was crooked, the bandage on his cheek covering one of his dimples.
It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for Eddie being awake, being alive, being okay.
“Yeah, Eds. Every day if you want,” Steve wanted to crawl into the bed with him, hold him close and feel him breathing and listen to his heartbeat, be sure he was there.
“Gonna hold you to that.”
“Soon as you can leave, that’ll be our first stop. Promise.”
Eddie closed his eyes, but the smile remained on his face. “You slept?”
“A bit.”
“So no.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “A bit.”
“C’mere.”
“Honey, you’re hurt-“
“Come here.”
Steve got in bed slowly, making sure he kept space between himself and Eddie’s injuries.
“Think I’ll graduate?”
Steve snorted. “They’d be stupid to hold you back after you saved everyone.”
“Yeah. ‘M a hero. Fuck Hawkins High.”
Steve could feel more tears trickle down his cheeks, but these were different.
These were relieved tears, happy tears.
“Yeah, honey. Fuck them.”
“Love you, though.”
“Love you so much.”
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uravitypng · 2 months
Text
𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
pairing: bakusquad x chubby reader (katsuki bakugo + hanta sero + mina ashido + eijiro kirishima + denki kaminari)
word count: 4.4k words
a/n: definitely haven't been working on this for months <33 this turned out more fluffy than intended for a free use fic asdfghj. basically they all need to be dating!!! none of the bakusquad have any contact with each other... yet... idk i might make a part two where they're not just taking turns but all together with the reader
content warnings: free use, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f!recieving & m!recieving), vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, groping, biting, dumbification, slight breeding mention, somno, wlw, spanking, petnames - mdni (like my whole tumblr)
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when becoming friends and roommates with the bakusquad you didn't realise what it would exactly entail. becoming friends with five successful pro heroes while you're a civilian is something you would never expect, not in your wildest dreams, so it's not a surprise to you that your feelings for them grew with each day and after a particular turn of events you let them use you however they wanted. if they want to take out their frustrations of a stressful day by roughly fucking you than you're more than willing to oblige to their request or if they want to tenderly make love to you after an emotional and exhausting day you're more than willing to oblige- you're their toy after all.
they'll use you anywhere and anywhen, it doesn't matter if you're in public or if you're sleeping, you've given them your full consent.
the first time it happened was with katsuki. he was angry and annoyed and you didn't know what to do, you've never truly seen him like this before and you haven't been friends with him as long as the others have been friends with him, you didn't want to make it worse. ideally you would ask the others what you should do but they were all busy working.
you later found out a journalist cornered him after a minor rescuing incident and asked him more intrusive questions than normal and that day it got to him more than normal too. for some reason the press always seems to ask him more personal questions than other heroes you know and you can't figure out why but you have a few ideas: to see his reaction, to get more information about his private life from him because he's one of the more secretive heroes, or to see his 'real' personality wondering if everything they see in public is all just an image.
"i'm sorry katsuki. is there anything i can do to make you feel a bit better?" you ask him and in less then ten seconds he's pinned you against the wall and is biting your bottom lip making you moan, giving him the opportunity to move his tongue into your mouth, intertwining your tongues and muffling any surprised noises that threaten to come out of you. you feel his large callus palms run all over your body as he pushes up your shirt and touches every single part of his skin he can get his hands on, leaving bruises and pretty marks to decorate your equally pretty body.
katsuki shoves his hand underneath your underwear, not bothering to take off your clothes and fingers you until you start screaming his name and your vision begins to go blurry.
"holy shit katsuki. feel's so good." he pumps two of his thick fingers inside of you and his ego soars as he not only feels how wet you are but hears it too as your cunt squelches and you clench around his fingers. he smirks as you come undone on his fingers chanting his name over and over again, your fists gripping onto his shirt tightly.
"this'll make me feel better," he grunts and tries to press his body closer to yours than it already was, your tits now completely pressed against him. "god shitty woman how oblivious can ya be? swear you're useless sometimes. a fucking dumbass." if you were someone else you might have taken offence to him calling you shitty woman or useless especially in the position you're currently in but you're use to him calling you names by now knowing he doesn't mean them negatively, if anything they're affectionate, most of the time he'll call people extras and you're glad he doesn't see you as an extra.
"oblivious?"
katsuki grits his teeth, "shut up," he grunts and you feel his hardened cock against your thigh, he slams his lips against yours again and starts kissing you even more furiously, if you didn't know better you'd say passionately but you don't think he'd ever kiss you passionately.
he sees your eyes glazed over with a daze on your face and smirks. his hand goes behind you to cups the curve of your ass then slaps with the sound echoing against the walls, making you whine. you feel the humidity that's resting on his palms and your whole body tingles imaging him using his quirk (controlled) on you.
"no one else has made ya feel this good have they sweetheart?" he asks gruffly already knowing the answer.
"no, no one else 'suki. no one has ever made me ever feel this good!" you reply honestly, tears starting to fill your waterline.
he knows you're being honest and if anything you're being more forgiving of your previous sexual encounters and talking more favourable about your past sexual partners than they deserve. "fuckin' criminal."
after what happened with katsuki you sat down with your friends and told them that you give them your consent to use you whenever. katsuki looked so much calmer after and his body looked more relaxed, less tension. you couldn't help but think that your other friends would be the same.
you were bashful the whole time while speaking, mumbling and looking away, your whole face felt like it were on fire but you were offering to help them all, you knew how stressful their work is and you wanted to help.
you want them, you wouldn't tell them that part though, neither did you ever have to think hard on your proposal.
all of them loved the idea, why wouldn't they? they're madly in love with you. over time all of them fell in love with you but none of them would ever make a move on you not willing to lose or jeopardise the friendship they have with you nor are they willing to make a move while knowing how the others feel about you either. you're sweet, and kind, and beautiful, and brilliant, and a hundred million more things that make you special in their eyes.
none of them thought they would ever get the chance to be with you in any such way, romantic or sexual, and they were more then content with being your friend, strictly platonic, but now they get to be your friend and they get to sleep with you, they're ecstatic.
hanta likes cockwarming with you, every single chance he gets he pulls you onto his lap and onto his cock without warning and puts on a movie to watch as he watches you squirm and try to keep still but it's so hard keeping still when the longest dick you've ever seen is inside of you and you feel it throbbing.
hanta sees you struggling and grins as you shift around and whimper quietly. you're biting your hand to try to keep silent but it's ineffective. "hush princesa, i'm trying to watch the film." he says teasingly, holding onto your plush waist to keep you from moving and lifts up your top, caressing your soft skin making you get goosebumps from the sensation of his cold rings touching you.
occasionally he'll lazily thrust up into you, making you squeak, he'll chuckle at the noises you make and get off on how needy you are for him. "you look so beautiful sitting on my lap mi amor," your heart flutters and your face heats up whenever he calls you affectionate names in his first language and especially when he calls you my love, "but aren't you suppose to be pleasing me? you seem very needy and demanding for someone who has offered their body to me." you shudder as he speaks, still with his hand caressing your body.
you look at him and pout, causing his grin to widen. "not my fault, you feel really good."
hanta's voice drops lower and becomes husky while he leans closer to you, "yeah?"
you nod your head and try to wrap your arms around him, admittedly unsuccessfully from the position you're currently in as you're facing away from him to 'watch' the movie with him, making hanta chuckle. "yeah," you reply.
hanta smirks as he looks down at you over your shoulder and tenderly strokes your arm, "beg me to move." with no hesitation you beg.
with everyone else they'll take what they want from you and get you to come as many times as they want (if they do want you to cum) without you having to beg but hanta is different, he'll make you cry and beg for him. no matter how horny he is he'll wait for you to become putty in his hands as you cry buried in the crook of his neck, trying to grind against him and wetting his shoulder with your tears, pleading for anything he gives you. he loves seeing you cry for him and plead for his cock.
you're always so pliant for him and he likes to make you even more pliant. as your reward for listening to him he grabs your wide hips and starts to move you up and down, harshly, making the ability to breathe leave your body momentarily at the sudden movement all while cooing at you, albeit condescendingly. "awe does that feel good princesa? you finding it hard to take it all?" he grins as you tip your head back and rests it on his shoulder, your moans getting louder, unable to respond and form a coherent sentence.
you feel like you feel him all the way in throat, a completely impossible thought of course but it's hard to think otherwise with each time he slams you back down and your pelvis meets his it's making you lose every braincell you have with how good you feel and how good he fills you up.
"open up," you compliantly open your mouth still in a daze and hanta spits in your mouth, grinning as he watches you swallow it without any prior audible command to do so already knowing from previous liaisons.
his pace changes, every so often becoming quicker with shallow thrusts than back to a regular pace with deeper thrusts just to tease you and make you light headed, not knowing what to expect next. his groans become more audible and he grips onto you tighter, his blunt nails making a crescent imprint on your hips. "s-shit hanta i can't, too much."
"i thought you were my good girl. you were begging for me only awhile ago." he smirks, starting to get close.
"i am! i am your good girl, promise! just 's a lot."
he chuckles at your obedience, you really are his good girl, made for him- and the others.
but he does wonder if you're that obedient with them as you are with him.
he purposefully slows down his pace and wraps one arm around your supple middle keeping you bouncing and tilts your chin up to look at him with his other hand before placing a gentle chaste kiss on your lips.
mina seizes every opportunity to lay lingering wet kisses down your neck all the way to your chest. you get goosebumps as you feel her breath against your skin and feel the sticky lipgloss left over from her lips.
mina never wears lipstick but she's nearly always seen wearing lipgloss and they're always flavoured ones, enjoying the look of how the sticky remnant remains on your skin after being transferred from her lips and how you seemingly unconsciously swipe your tongue out over your own lips afterwards to taste the flavour that remains.
whenever a man comes onto her apparently not understanding the word 'no' she comes straight to you afterwards so she can feel you up and touch your soft body and curves. you're so much better than anyone else and she's so glad that you let her touch you however and whenever she wants.
beforehand when someone was so persisted that it grossed her out she still would come to see you, you were roommates and very close friends after all. mina would complain about them and you would listen and bash them because how dare they keep being so disrespectful, unable to be take a hint or handle rejection.
the entire time when mina used to talk about them she'd think about how soft your lips looked, how good her hand would look wrapped around your throat and how she wants to go down on you so bad that you pull her hair and more importantly squeeze your thighs together in between her head.
"such a sweet little thing for me," she tells you and kisses your ankle. you whimper and she opens up your thighs wider for now, wanting to get a good look at your pretty pussy. mina flicks her tongue up against your pussy lips making a shiver run down your spine before her tongue enters into your soaking hole, moaning at your taste and your aroma, making her dizzy in the process. you can't help but squeal and shudder at the sensation as her eyes gleam with every new noise you make. she removes her tongue from inside of you, the sweet taste still lingering on her tongue. she flicks her tongue up again, curling two fingers back into you and starts sucking on your clit.
the pleasure builds up inside of you with every curl of her fingers, "that's a good girl, come for me," mina mumbles against your clit and you squeeze your thighs with mina's head between them, not being able to stop yourself as you're about to come again for the third time in an hour.
"oh fuck, min-" the last syllable of mina's name is silenced in an inaudible groan as the coil in your stomach snapped and you unravelled where she helped to ride out your orgasm still between your doughy thighs.
now she gets her wish whenever she wants as she's able to look up to see how your voluptuous body shakes. she gets to feel how soft and warm your thick thighs feel wrapped around her head.
as you calm down from another intense orgasm you move to look at mina, "what about you?" hinting that you desperately want to return the favour.
she can see the neediness in your eyes and giggles. "i can't right now sweet pea, i've got to go to work."
"already?"
mina giggles again, "i'll be back soon babes then we can carry on from where we left off, okay?" she smiles brightly and takes her leave feeling equalling as needy as you but who can blame her when she spent the last hour pleasuring you and feeling your plump body underneath hers and getting you see your gorgeous face scrunched up in pleasure. mina doesn't mind the needy feeling though as the look on your face is worth it as she leaves because she knows when she comes back home you'll make her feel just as good as she made you feel.
eijiro works nights a lot of the time which means typically you get woken up by him. this means most nights you sleep with only a nightie on or a baggy pyjama shirt foregoing underwear or pyjama bottoms so eijiro doesn't have to worry about fiddling with any layers and pulling them down. the only exemptions about the clothes are when it's particularly cold that night.
after work he'll want to feel your soft body squish in between his fingers as he presses down on your malleable skin, groping you wherever he can get his hands on and pumping his girthy cock in his other hand a couple times, wanting to be buried in that sweet cunt that he loves so much so it's no surprise to you to be woken up to his grunts and gentle thrusts.
whenever you do wake up he feels guilty. he knows you need, and like your sleep and he never intended to wake you up so he strokes the sides of your body and softly tells you to go back to bed while kissing your temple.
sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but no matter the outcome of trying to get you to go back to sleep your body always has the same reaction, mewls and moans leaving your body involuntarily and you becoming more and more wet with each thrust that it's dripping down to your thick thighs.
the times when you don't fall back to sleep you don't move much, very much a pillow princess in those moments but that's what eijiro prefers. he likes looking after you and treating you like the princess you are. he enjoys doing all the work so when you do wake up all you can do is rub your eyes sleepily and moan louder while he tries to shush you because no doubt someone has to be up in a few hours for patrol.
"p-please," you whine but you don't know what you're begging for. eijiro knows though as he pushes the remaining inches of his cock inside of you, you both hiss, and he slowly and deeply starts moving in you. you grab hold of his muscular forearms and whine about the pleasurable stretch.
you turn your head to the side so your neck is bare. he knows what you want more than your tired words can mumble out so he turns your neck further to the side than you did to keep you still and bites down, not hard enough to cause serious pain and break your skin but enough to hurt slightly and cause you to gasp, your mind momentarily going blank and your hips to jerk up.
before you started sleeping with eijiro you didn't know you liked the sensation of getting bitten so much until he bit you to keep himself quiet while at a very lively party. normally he wouldn't mind people hearing how good he makes you feel and vise versa but there was a minority of people at that party who were all trying to make a new hero commission and he didn't want to to draw attention to you or him with those people, knowing what the last commission did. even though you are just a civilian he wants to make sure they stay well away from you but still that wasn't enough to drag you into an empty room and fuck you until you couldn't stand after seeing how beautiful you looked that night.
ever since then biting became involved in your sex life. eijiro knew he liked biting people before you, he enjoys the surprised gasps and how bodies move but with you it's completely different, it's on a whole new level with how plump your body is, it's like heaven. no matter where he bites you there's always some part he can sink his teeth into making your body beautifully buck up uncontrollably. the whole experience and sensation making him groan and the noises you always make in bed are like no over- ethereal, just like the rest of you.
when he hears the slapping sound of your two bodies making contact get louder and louder and sees the creamy ring left over from each thrust he has to hold onto you tighter, gripping hold of your love handles, enough to leave bruises, and looking up at the ceiling not wanting to cum yet. he knows as soon as he looks down at your cute face or perfect body he'll immediately orgasm so to try and make himself last longer he'll look up.
that on top of the quicker pace and him touching your clit, just the way you like it, makes you come. you clench around him and moan words incomprehensibly causing him to come too as he feels you get tighter around him.
"gonna clean you up in a second baby just let me stay inside you for awhile." at this point you're both falling asleep, he wraps his muscular arms around you tighter and manhandles your chubby body so you're laying on top of him, your arm on his chest and your face in his neck, the whole time making sure his dick doesn't accidentally slip out of you. even though you're semi conscious you know that you're going to be sleeping like this all night, both of you are too tired to move, with your last moments of consciousness being your slow blinks that you use to gaze up at eijiro admiring how handsome he is, you like when his hair is down after showering because without it being styled to be spiky you can see his roots coming through, red mixing with his natural black, even now when he's half asleep and ready for bed he looks just as handsome as he does at any fancy hero event he attends. "you feel too good to get up and leave and anyway i've got to plug you full, breed you properly to make sure it sticks." he mumbles against your forehead half asleep, drifting off only a minute or so after.
out of everyone denki is the one to touch you the most, if no one else is kissing you he's taking the opportunity to kiss you and hold you all over. he's the most emotional and vulnerable when it comes to sex too. he feels safe around you, to let his carefree persona down and to be sensitive and vulnerable, just staying fully in the moment with you.
the first time you slept together, you kissed his chest all the way to his hips making his hips buck up. he had wanted you so bad for so long and now he finally had you.
originally, you had stroked his cock for the first time and you heard a string of moans and it immediately turned you on more than you already were. as he got closer to his release he said breathy, "please don't stop, this will probably be the only chance i ever get to touch you." it had shocked you not realising that he felt that way but you didn't stop, doing what you were told, and knowing you were going to talk to him after.
not long after, he came and you threw your arms around him, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging onto him. he was still catching his breath, "do you really think this was a one time thing denki? i told you all before that i want to do this." he blushed and squished your cheeks, a habit he had picked up on doing recently at the time, you swat his hands away and giggle, denki smiles.
denki is also the most possessive which surprised you, if you thought anyone would be possessive your guess would be katsuki but it's really denki. he gets jealous when you spend more time with the others than you do with him and will want your attention. it's even more noticeable when it comes to other people who aren't in the bakusquad.
if you ever smile too cheerfully at someone, laugh too loudly at someone's jokes or if someone flirts with you he gets extremely jealous, you never flirt back though, you have everything you need and sometimes you don't even realise they were flirting in the first place.
at times like that denki is the most vulnerable. as soon as you both get home he's kissing you tenderly and holding you like fragile treasured glass in his arms. most of the time he takes you to the bedroom and lays you on the bed but this time he pushes your head down gently and you fall to you knees carefully. "do you need a cushion babe?"
your heart warms at how considerate he is. you look up at him and shake your head, "i'm okay," you smile up at him and you don't miss the way his cheeks are dusted pink. unzipping his jeans and pulling them down, along with his boxers that already are wet with precum leaking from his cock, you kiss his thigh and stare at his .
denki holds onto your head as you part your lips and open your mouth, taking him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and grab a hold of his thighs. he keeps his hips still no matter how much he wants to rut inside your wonderful wet and warm mouth. when his hips do occasionally buck it makes you gag before he corrects himself and pushes back against the wall trying to control himself not to pound up into you, he wants you to control the pace. the moans that he makes as you take him further only spur you on as your pace gets quicker and your nose presses against his lean stomach momentarily before having to leave and gasp for air. denki may not be as thick as eijiro or as long as hanta but he's still big, more than people would assume, he's bigger than average (only if slightly.) denki's arm rests of his head while he takes deep breaths.
"fuck babe that was-" you cut him off as you take him in your mouth again and wrap your lips around him and you hollow your cheeks once again. his moans and groans become more frequent and you can tell that he's about to come.
his grip get's tighter while resting on your head and his groans get deeper. "gonna come, you swallow alright babe." you hum in confirmation, "shit, shit, shit," his eyebrows pinch together and his hot cum sprays in ropes at the back of your throat and you mourn not being able to properly fully taste him. denki lifts you up by your elbows and when you come face-to-face you kiss his cheek, he's not satisfied with that though and he passionately makes out with you not caring that he just came in your mouth and is holding onto your plush waist while grinning against your lips. "bedroom." he whispers in your ear making you shudder at the demanding tone he used, not often does he use it but whenever he does... well it makes your whole body tingle.
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wonbin-truther · 1 month
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inspired by @diorcities imagine
chenle was stubborn and you were too, if not more. your friends always said it was a match made in hell. you two pushed and pulled against each other but it was never anything the two of you took serious. if anything chenle admired the fact you always stood your ground, backing up what you believed in, and you felt the same about him. arguments happened often but nothing had ever went this far.
"so you hate me?" your voice was low and shaky but chenle didn't pick up on it. "who said that? you're so delusional sometimes I don't even know where you get this bullshit from," chenle was practically yelling across the kitchen. you had never felt so small in your life. you tried to keep the tears at bay as you continued on, "but then why wouldn't you tell me she messaged you?"
"it's not that serious. you're being overdramatic about it."
"chenle it's your ex for fucks sake why wouldn't you tell me your ex sent you a nude," you felt a tear slip down your cheek but you quickly wiped it away. chenle let out a scoff as he watched the tears slip down your cheeks one after the other. he always knew you were stubborn, but he didn't think it was so bad you would try to guilt him by faking tears.
"i can't believe you're crying right now. what's wrong with you? i told you i blocked her right after so i don't see what your issue is. god you're so insecure sometimes," he continued to spew, eyebrows crinkled as he rolled is eyes at you. you couldn't say anything back. your vision was blurry and all you could do was stand there as you took hit after hit from him. choked sobs were the only things that left your mouth as chenle stared at you.
even if you were faking it, seeing you cry made a pit form in his stomach. yet your boyfriend was too stubborn to back down, even if it did feel as though his guts were being turned inside out. "can you stop crying already? it's not gonna work." his expression shifted as he stared at your figure. he stood and stared as your crying didn't stop and your breathing got quicker, quiet gasps leaving you as you tried to take in the smallest amount of air you could get between the tears that wracked your body. as you crumbled to the ground, knees pressed to your chest and your own arms wrapped around yourself, chenle realized you were genuine and it ate up his entire being he let it get this far.
it took his body a minute to move from the shock but he ran to where you were, crouching down in front of you. he gathered you up into his arms and held you close to his chest. you tried to push his arms away from you but he held you tighter. he knew if he were to let go this could possibly be the end and it scared him. you eventually gave in, sobbing into his chest as your breathing remained frantic and uneven. "fuck im so sorry. baby breathe with me please. slowly," chenle counted slowly as you tried to follow along with your breathing. you started to calm down and the tears subsided, turning into small sniffles. you two stayed on the floor of the kitchen in silence for a while.
chenle was the first to break the silence, "you were right. i should have told you. i'm so sorry for yelling at you and arguing."
"do you really think i'm dramatic and insecure?" your voice was low and sounded broken. it was shaky and chenle wanted to punch himself.
"i don't. i'm so so sorry. i didn't mean anything i don't know why i said any of that," chenle pulled you away to kiss the tip of your nose that was now red from your sobbing. "you're perfect. if anything i'm the dramatic one between the two of us."
"i know," you rubbed at your eyes and let out a small laugh.
"i love you. so so much. and i'm so sorry for saying all those hurtful things," chenle stood up and brought you up with him.
"i love you too. think before you speak next time though," you cupped his cheeks. he just nodded and let you pull him in for a kiss. you gasped as he pulled away, lifting you over his shoulder and carrying you into the bedroom. you giggled and lightly punched his back, "lele what're you doing?" he tossed you down onto the bed and laid down, "cuddle time and a nap. i think we need it after that."
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harstyle · 2 months
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the styles' nanny: part two
Summary: Harry finally realizes his mistake, but is it too late? Featuring a strange encounter with Jamie’s mother, another sad drinking session and an unfiltered conversation that changes everything.
Pairing: plussize-nanny!y/n + older-singledad!harry
Word-count: 10.2k
Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, mentions of sex
here’s part one!
A/N: guys!!! It’s been three months!!! I hope you haven’t completely lost interest in this story :( I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting for so long, I just didn’t expect so many things to come up (plus somewhere along the way I lost motivation). I also hope you enjoy this second and (at least for now) last part. No smut, but maybe in a blurb/oneshot of some kind? Anyway thanks for waiting and happy reading!
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I’m resigning. I will stay until we find a replacement but not longer than necessary. I thank you for your generosity during my time working for you, but I’m ready for a fresh start as I think it’s what would be best for me right now. 
I’ll see you soon,
Y/N
That was the text Harry had received at 11am, just one hour ago. He’d called profusely, probably ten times in total, and sent out a pathetic amount of text messages that had all gone ignored and unanswered. 
Harry had lashed out— he could see that now; he’d been horribly unfair and he had taken advantage of Y/N’s inability to express herself in situations of distress. Harry’s worst trait was his short-temperedness and while he had gone through years of therapy to work on it, sometimes it took ahold of him in ways he couldn’t realize until after the fact.
Of course the last thing he’d wanted was for her to resign, which was exactly why her message had twisted his stomach a bit more intensely than he would’ve liked; he had no idea how to rectify this situation. Most things in his life went as he wished and if they didn’t, he found it was easy to make it so they did. But not now— no, he had to think about this carefully.
It had turned one when his phone rang; he was typing away in his office, trying to distract himself.  Her caller ID flashed on his screen, but it wasn’t her voice that caught his ears— it was a man’s. A man’s who’s name was Andrew.
“I’m from the viper,” he said, and Harry could swear he started seeing red, “your friend Y/N got a little too drunk for me to feel comfortable sending her away on her own. Is there any way you could come pick her up?” 
Harry couldn’t help the string of curses which left his mouth as he gathered his house key. “Is she okay?” He asked, only to receive a conflicted hum. 
“She had too many martinis and she was crying earlier. She said something about a fight.” 
“Yeah, okay. Thanks, man. Will you keep an eye out until I get there?” 
“Of course.” 
As Harry got into his car, he felt the overwhelming urge to chastise her, to keep talking until she finally listened to him when it came to her own safety. Not even one day had passed since he’d had to pick her up the last time— no lesson learned, no regrets.
But then, as he neared the bar, the rational part of his brain advised him against it. Y/N was no child, she was aware of her actions and she knew what was best for her— so for Harry to act high and mighty would be wrong and uncalled for.
He needed to just be there for her. Drop the barrier and be there.
He was ready to offer that to her.
Y/N could swear her eyes were playing tricks on her. It wouldn’t be unrealistic, really, her vision had become blurry about an hour ago— but, well, she would probably recognize that silhouette anywhere. He wore jeans and a shirt and his hair was still styled for work; Andrew was pointing at her, and so his green eyes followed. When he spotted her, Y/N felt naked under his gaze.
And before she knew it, he was walking toward her.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded, lower lip jutted out in a pout. Y/N had gone drinking in the hopes of distracting herself— and yes, maybe it wasn’t exactly working, but it definitely wouldn’t start working if he was physically here.
“Andrew called me. Stand up, I’m taking you home.”
Andrew was somebody she‘d met a few hours ago. Originally he‘d flirted with her, asking questions about her as she sat at the bar willing to answer all of them soberly— but once eleven had struck, all she could talk about was Harry. Y/N wasn’t fond of airing dirty laundry so she‘d left the gory details of their fight out, but Andrew knew of a fight.
She was starting to regret it now that Harry was here.
Instead of doing as he’d asked— or ordered, more like, she leaned into the booth further.
“No.”
His eyebrow raised, “no?”
“I don’t leave or go out with dickheads. You taught me that.”
He looked ticked off and it satisfied something within her that had been needing it all night. When he breathed a sigh, eyes closing momentarily, she knew she had him.
“Y/N, would you please humor me and let me take you home? We can keep talking in the car, but not in front of these people.”
“What if I don’t want to go home, huh? Why are you always telling me what to do like you have the right? You’re not my dad.” Her words were slurred and her expression loose. Then she laughed to herself, giggled actually, ridiculously loud. “That’s funny, of course you’re not my dad cause he’s dead! Dead, six feet underground, you know? Probably lower, cause he definitely didn’t go to heaven! He’s, like, really deep underground.”
Concern warped his features.
“Y/N,” he warned, “please.”
She’d turned heads.
“But you know what you and my dad have in common? Yelling. Just yelling, for no fucking reason— yell yell yell, make it feel like my fault even though it isn’t. Right? That’s what my dad used to do to my mom, you know that? That’s why he’s in hell.” 
She was pointing an accusatory finger at him, slurring even more than before.
“And you know what I said to her when she left him? That I would never let a man treat me that way. Never! Promised, hand on my heart and everything, I promised. But you’re different, aren’t you? Cause I like you, cause you’re not like my dad.” Her face fell again into the surfaces of her palms, “you’re not like my dad, but you reminded me of him. And I feel— feel like I’m betraying my mom.” Y/N hiccuped quietly, stumbling over a few words.
The gravity of her words were not lost on him— in fact, he’d never felt as guilty in his life.
“Hey,” he beckoned her to look at him, placing his tentative hand atop her arm, “we’ll talk about it. About everything. But not now. Not here.”
“You’re so confusing, you know that? One second you’re really nice to me and then— and then you aren’t.”
“Sweetheart,” he grasped her face as a last attempt to catch her undivided attention. Harry thumbed at her cheek and stared dutifully into her clouded eyes, “let me take care of you tonight. I’ll make it better.”
In all fairness, she’d lost the fight the second his eyes had met hers. There was something about them, maybe their deep shade of green or how effortlessly she could read them, that could probably persuade her into doing anything.
“Fine,” she mumbled after a minute, letting Harry wrap an arm around her waist as they walked. On their way out Y/N said goodbye to Andrew and stayed quiet otherwise, choosing to give Harry the silent treatment. Harry knew he couldn’t expect her to speak to him, so he didn’t force it.
As they drove, Harry couldn’t help glancing over every once in a while to study her expressions. There was barely a moment she wasn’t staring out the window watching cars drive by; even when his hand instinctively landed on her thigh she didn’t react, only moving it away slightly from his touch.
“Are you driving me to my apartment?”
And although both of them knew he’d really been directed toward his house, Harry still pretended to have chosen to take another route. “Course,” he muttered hoarsely, trying to mask his embarrassment with a quiet cough. Y/N sighed, her eyes pressing shut for a moment as she tried to let the guilt roll off of her back. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy.
“Where’s Jamie?”
He clicked his tongue. “Still at my mother’s.”
“Oh.”
The stubborn thing she was, Y/N refused Harry’s help getting out of the car. Instead she opened the door by herself, almost tripped when she jumped down from her seat and kept a distance anyway. Harry still watched, though, ready to help if needed.
Y/N unlocked the door (failing to find the keyhole several times) and kept it wide open for Harry to follow behind. The first thing she did was toe off her shoes followed by falling into bed.
“Y/N, have some water.”
“Stop telling me what to do,” she uttered, but accepted the glass of water anyway.
He ignored her. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m tired.”
“You can sleep as soon as you’ve changed and washed your face.”
She groaned, pulling a blanket over her head, “Harry…”
“Y/N.”
That stern mention of her name was enough to get her out of bed, limbs pretty much hanging loosely from her body as if she had no control over them— and honestly, it felt like she didn’t. Her eyes closed as Harry wiped a cool cloth over her face, ridding it of a light layer of makeup and sweat, everything that had accumulated at the bar. There were times she leaned into him, forehead falling to his shoulder and arms wrapping instinctively around his waist for support. She could swear that for a moment he’d pressed his lips to her forehead, but the daydream she was in barred her from really registering it.
“Why’d you go out drinking again?”
“Wanted to.”
“Told you not to do that. I meant it.”
“Well people keep hurting my feelings,” she mumbled, “and drinking your pain away is kind of a tradition in my family, so.”
Y/N had never really shared personal details about her family to Harry, but… well, the words were flowing right out of her mouth and the memories reincarnated newly in her head. She was referring to her mother, the former alcoholic in the family. Growing up her mother had drunk so much that she’d almost died from liver failure. As a small child Y/N had promised herself never to end up like her, but she was starting to understand more and more why her mother spent so many years drinking.
Harry‘s thoughts stayed internalized, but he made sure to make her feel heard. Rubbing over the top of her eyebrow, his breath hit her forehead as he spoke,  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You didn’t deserve it.”
Her eyes peeked open, the previously warm towel no longer warm. Harry ran it under water again. “Deserve what?”
“Everything, especially the way I behaved earlier. I should’ve taken a moment to myself, instead I lashed out on you.”
It wasn’t until now that Y/N noticed the close proximity between her and Harry— obviously she knew he was cleaning her face for her, but it didn’t really click until now, she supposed. She could see everything, but it didn’t really matter; there was nothing about Harry, especially on him, that could deter her from thinking of him as the most beautiful man alive. Imperfections and all.
The towel met her neck this time, the other side held upright by his steady hand. She could feel his thumb tracing shapes on the surface of her skin and although she was trying very hard not to think of him in any inappropriate way, the image of his hand wrapped around her throat awakened something horrible within the confines of her intoxicated mind. It stayed there.
It was self destructive how often she spent thinking about him, really.
“You still there, baby?”
And he was so gentle— whenever he wasn’t yelling at her, of course— and soft, knowing the lines of what she could handle and what she couldn’t. No man had ever been this considerate and while it may just be his nature, it meant everything to Y/N. As the boundaries had begun to blur more and more, it became easier to misinterpret normal gestures for something more, something so much realer than it could ever be.
But he was calling her baby, and nobody had done that before.
“Yeah.”
“You were much more mouthy back in the bar,” he breathed out, an amused smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t wanna yell at me anymore?”
“No, I‘m not like you.”
“Ouch.”
Harry was humoring her and while it was really really nice; this whole thing, the gentle touches and the giggles shared in between a serious conversation, Y/N couldn’t let it get to her head.
“You were really mean to me and I didn’t do anything.”
His eyes searched for hers, but hers were stuck to his chest. “I know. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I’ll spend a long time trying, I promise. You’re so sweet to me, so nice, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You know that, right?”
And although her heart was still furiously bleeding out, she was willing to ignore that for now. Throw bandages on and refuse a trip to the hospital because really she was just fine. There was just something about how he spoke to her that made it feel like she was floating— like she really was fine. 
“Yeah.”
“Good, it’s very important to me that you do.”
Y/N’s eyes nearly glazed over when she thought about Harry being like this on the regular. It was a dangerous game they were playing.
 “Look at me,” he breathed, beckoning her to do so with the grip he still had on her throat. Her eyes looked so innocent in this moment and although Harry knew Y/N was nothing if not tainted, she looked like she’d never been touched by the realities of life. “So pretty, you know that? So beautiful.”
She felt smaller in his gaze. “You think so?”
Y/N didn’t think anyone had said that to her ever. Nothing of the sort.
“I know so.”
“Thank you.”
“How about we go find you something comfortable to sleep in, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Y/N shook her head, willing to rid herself of this weird tension in her body before allowing Harry to lead her back into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed as Harry retrieved some clothes and looked up at him expectantly when she could barely keep upright.
“You sure?”
“I physically can’t stand up, Harry.”
And though he looked torn, he ended up reaching for her sweater to pull it over her body, revealing the lacy bra she hid underneath. Y/N’s breasts had always been the biggest ones amongst her skinny friends and growing up she often felt ridiculed for it, though she supposed she could count on Harry not to judge. They were just there, so why pretend like they weren’t?
For Harry, taking off Y/N’s sweater was a completely different experience and although he didn’t wish to be a creep, he couldn’t help but letting out an awkward but knowing cough when he accidentally stared right down them. He hastily threw the shirt he’d brought her onto her torso, scared of what would happen if he were to delay it any longer. Harry prided himself on being a respectful man, but being with Y/N had always tested that quality of his.
“What?” She asked, a touch of feigned innocence to her tone, and he rushed to shake his head.
She knew what.
“Nothing.”
“M’kay.”
“Stand up for me?”
Y/N felt less amazing about her thighs, to be frank. She couldn’t really explain it, but they weren’t visually pleasing to her; cellulite littered the back of them and she obviously didn’t have a thigh gap, but that had become less of an issue. Y/N felt like her thighs had no real redeeming quality. It was a destructive way of thinking, she would admit, but… well, she’d carried that around since childhood.
As Harry pulled down her jeans, she felt void of anything. She didn’t exactly feel great, but better than when other guys had taken off her trousers. It was probably his age. She figured maturity increased as age did, and if Harry were to dislike the look of her body, he would be graceful about it.
“Hold onto my shoulders and lift your right leg.”
He got on his knees in front of her, pulling one leg in after the other. After doing so successfully, he allowed her to get under the covers.
“I’m still mad at you,” she mumbled into the covers, eyes fluttering to a close.
He hummed, “I know.”
“But thank you.”
“Don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.”
“Mhm,” she breathed, “it’ll be the last time, I promise.”
Sleep was pulling at her eyelids.
“Last time what?”
He received no answer. Upon a closer look, he saw Y/N completely overtaken by sleep. Her lips were situated in a pout and her foot peeked out of her thick comforter in the way he had already seen last time he’d brought her to bed.
He allowed himself more time to watch over her this time, scared that if he were to leave it would be the last he saw of her. The anxiety settled on his chest in heavy waves and the image of a precious Y/N was slipping further away from his mind. He had been a horrible person, allowing himself to become the type of man he’d always tried not to be… and he couldn’t do that to her. He couldn’t let this be that with her. He couldn’t bare it.
Harry had always thought of himself to be tattooed with imperfections. As he stared down at Y/N’s sleeping body, he couldn’t help the guilt that wrapped around him like a torture blanket. To him, she was perfect. She was kind and beautiful, she carried her heart out on her sleeve and overcame her past to grow in spite of painful trauma.
What he didn’t know, though, was that she thought the same of him. She thought of him as the most capable person, strong and kind. Her heart yearned for him in ways no one could comprehend.
She thought of him as everything but instead of embracing it, he’d pushed her away… and now both of them had to suffer the consequences.
Harry had stayed the night, but he hadn‘t slept; he‘d spent the night lying on Y/N‘s uncomfortable couch with various thoughts swirling around in his head. At eight he‘d stood up, started preparing breakfast and wasted time looking through social media to distract himself from the girl sleeping in the next room.
Y/N slipped out thirty minutes later, surprised when she saw Harry moving through her kitchen as though he knew it like the back of his hand. She coughed, not knowing where to put her arms and folding them in instead.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he tried to smile, “I hope you’re hungry, I made you a bagel with eggs if that’s okay.”
“That’s… yeah,” she swallowed a lump in her throat, stepping close to the counter, “thank you. You didn’t have to.”
“My pleasure. You—“ he pointed at the side of her face, “you have something there.”
“Oh, I—“ Harry reached forward to swipe at it, wiping his finger clean on his trousers and stroking her cheek once for good measure. “Thanks. Probably toothpaste.”
“Probably.”
Silence decorated their next few seconds, awkward glances and uncomfortable tension felt down to the bones. Then Harry straightened up and breathed in, simultaneously Y/N opened her mouth.
“I—“
“Are you— oh, sorry.”
“No, you go on,” she urged, waving a dismissive hand at him.
Harry smiled, “are you okay?”
“Uh, yes. Yeah, I am actually. Bit of a headache but that‘s expected. Thanks for…picking me up, I guess. I didn‘t want to be a burden, but I kind of told Andrew about you and he got a hold of my phone…“
Harry’s eyebrows drew together, “no, I’m glad he called. You should always reach out to me when you’re in trouble.”
“Yeah, but last time didn’t go over very well, so…”
Harry cleared his throat. “Right, I’m sorry about that. I was out of line, but that doesn‘t mean I don‘t want you to call when you need help getting home. There’s nothing more important than your safety, Y/N.”
“Yeah, but…” Y/N shook her head, overwhelming thoughts swirling endlessly inside rendering her speechless. There wasn’t anything she could say to efficiently express these concerns to him— Y/N had always been bad at communication and the last thing she wanted was to poke the bear even more.
“No go on, tell me.”
“I just… I don’t know. I felt like shit after last time.”
“I know,” he breathed out lowly, “I know you did, and I’m sorry. I didn‘t mean it.”
“But clearly you did if you felt the need to say it. I mean, it doesn’t just come out of nowhere, those accusations. You felt them. And I was thinking about it all day yesterday and… you were probably right, we are too unprofessional.”
“No, sweetheart. I enjoy our dinner sessions and I appreciate that you feel comfortable to talk to me when something bothers you—“ It didn’t matter, though. There was nothing he could say to change her mind.
The words that left her mouth were mostly involuntary. They were a protective barrier, a reason to say no, back off and a clear indication that she had no capacity for this. And although it hurt somewhere deep within her chest to express them, to become a viscous reminder of last night, especially when Harry’s eyebrows drew together in deep regret, it needed to be said.
“Harry, I meant it when I quit last night.”
A reasonable response was lost on Harry. For a moment he needed to think, to gather his thoughts— not that there were very many. He had to admit, he’d hoped they would gloss over her drunken text and pretend as though it hadn’t been. He’d hoped that Y/N felt a small spark of embarrassment when she thought about it, that she looked back on it with regret. Alas, she didn’t.
“Oh.”
He pulled back, shoulders tensing when the gravity of her statement had pulled him down along with it.
“Yeah. I mean, I love working with Jamie, I do, but I—“ I’m scared that I’ll form an attachment I will never recover from. I’m scared of the proximity we share, of how sometimes you let your fingers brush over my thigh. I’m scared because I don’t know what you mean, scared because psychoanalyzing doesn’t work on you. Or maybe— maybe I’m scared of love. With you. Or with anyone. Maybe I’m not capable of being loved. And maybe I’m not even capable of loving and maybe— just maybe, this will be the end of me. And for what? For you to say that the affection you extend to me is customary? That I have a tainted perception of reality, of love? Because I know I do. I know I do, and yet hearing it from you would hurt much more. And so maybe… maybe in this case, finding out isn’t worth the hassle. You’ll probably find I’m not either.
There was so much to say and such little capacity to say it. All Y/N could think to do was sputter words she didn’t mean and hope he understood because the alternative was ridding herself of every. little string of dignity she still possessed and she simply couldn’t do that. She couldn’t allow herself to unfold in front of the only person who’s perception of her she wanted to nurture. No one had stayed. Even if he would come to leave, she wanted him to leave with a sound picture of her.
“But you…”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t… because of yesterday?”
“No. I mean, I guess that was a bit of an eye opener, but I—“ Y/N breathed in, “I think I’m getting too attached to you. You and Jamie.”
His eyes widened just a bit and he took a small step toward her. It was so small she hardly felt him entering her space. “I don’t mind that, Y/N, you don’t need to quit—“
“I do though,” she interrupted him, a stern undertone to her voice. She coughed and said again, “I mind.”
“I think you’re still angry about yesterday.”
She had to contain the urge to roll her eyes, “I’m not. This is separate from that.”
“So it’s the attachment that’s the problem?”
“Yes.”
Harry scoffed, “that’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with attachment.”
“It depends on what kind, doesn’t it?”
“Enlighten me then.”
Y/N’s mouth closed. She couldn’t do that.
So she deflected.
“Harry, my contract says that as long as I stay long enough to find a fitting replacement—“
“Fuck the contract, Y/N,” the volume of his voice almost caused Y/N to flinch into herself, “I know what my contract says. What I don’t know is why you’re giving up a job that you love, a job that pays you well, for reasons you can’t even explain to me.”
“Is my resignation not enough for you? Would hearing my reasoning really change anything if I will keep insisting on resigning no matter how often you’ll advise me against it? I doubt it matters. I doubt you would even so much as give a shit, Harry."
Y/N shook her head, tears building in the ducts of her eyes. Her father had been of great emotional abuse, her mother had spent half of her life drinking herself to liver failure and her brother had moved to Madrid as soon as he’d turned eighteen, leaving Y/N to fend for herself in a household that contained not one ounce of love— and yet this felt worse. This felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest, dropped on the floor beating and bleeding.
“You think I don’t give a shit? Really?” Y/N couldn’t help rolling her eyes, huffing when he tapped her on the wrist, muttering with a steady furrow in his brow, “don’t roll your eyes at me.”
“You know why I’m quitting and yet you want to hear it come out of my mouth. I’m not going to do it.”
“I don’t know.”
She almost laughed, “sure”
“Sweetheart—“
“Don’t call me that.” She gave him a sharp glance before heading back to her bedroom, arms falling to the sides of her timid frame. Harry stopped her just short of the door, a steady hand gripping around her wrist. She couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth, built up tears finally streaming down in heaps— embarrassment brewed in her stomach and she couldn’t bare to look him in the eye anymore. Harry’s touch elicited a spark on her skin, blistering with uncomfortable heat. “What?”
“You’re being rude. I really think you should consider this.”
“There’s nothing to consider, okay?!  I… I feel too much for you, there’s too— there’s too much, okay? There’s too fucking mu—“
What would transpire between them next was a kiss. Initiated by Harry.
It was barely a kiss, more of a brushing of the lips— tentative movements, gentle breaths. It was the minimum and yet it was more than enough. There was an electric feeling that dragged through Y/N’s entire body as she closed her eyes and let herself feel. Harry didn’t seem very much like a gentle lover— generous, without doubt, but Y/N had always pictured him as a pin-to-the-wall, bite-to-the-lip type of man and she quickly received confirmation when he began squeezing her hand as if feeling restrained.
Y/N hadn’t kissed many people; less than five, probably, but she could say with certainty that this was already better than all of the other ones combined. She knew why. She knew the reason was that she genuinely liked Harry, that he made her feel things she’d never felt before.
But then again, Harry was her boss. He was off limits, taboo. And he was absolutely out of his mind right now.
“Wait.”
His breath fanned against her chin. “You don’t want me to?”
“No I do, I just—“ she shook her head, thoughts in a disarray like they’d never been before.
“Tell me to stop and I will.”
Her mouth opened but nothing came out, merely staggered breaths as she tried to regain the ability to think. The interruption came when Harry’s phone rang on the counter.
He groaned, took a glance at the screen and broke away when he saw his mother’s name flash as the caller ID.
“Yes?” He called into the speaker, frustration molding his features as he kept on listening. “Yes, okay, tell him I’m on my way. Give me twenty minutes… Love you too, bye.” When he turned to her, phone slipped into his back pocket, she could tell that he yearned to say more, that he yearned for her to say more. She knew he would halt his actions, leave time for her to get her words out before he left for whatever emergency he’d been called in for, that if she only said something he would consider putting her as a second priority after his son. She knew that he would make her feel important. But she said nothing. And nobody, not even the most patient person in the world could work with nothing. “Jamie’s asking for me. I need to go get him.”
She only nodded.
He sighed, running a tired hand down his face. “Alright. I need to go. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”
She stood at exactly the same spot as Harry slammed the door shut, unwavering.
Her heart was still pounding as the words she should’ve expressed minutes ago died on her lips.
Résumés had been sent to him, interviews were lined up, and Y/N had received no reply back. She hadn’t received anything, really, just a text on Thursday that he would arrange for another babysitter to come in for Jamie while he left for his late meeting, to which Y/N had typed a dry ‘ok’ and left it to sit in her inbox.
The week had started fresh and Y/N had finally left home again (only to her classes, but still). After days of not working, she was scheduled to pick up Jamie at two thirty and hoped for these last weeks to resume seamlessly. She’d gotten the car from the house, locked the door back up again and made the ten minute drive down— everything was fine.
Until now. Until Y/N set foot on preschool grounds and noticed another woman hugging her arms around Jamie’s shoulders. She seemed unfamiliar at first— glasses tipped back on her long blonde hair, a pencil skirt concealing her toned legs. Y/N had no idea who she was dealing with until she took a closer look and recognized this woman to be Stacie. Y/N had seen a picture of Stacie up in Harry’s study— she seemed to have changed a little, but the structural features she associated with her still remained intact through all these years (big blue eyes, defined cheekbones).
As soon as Jamie’s eyes set on Y/N, though, Stacie’s hands were torn away from his shoulders as he ran for her. She got on her knees, his familiar smile melting away all of the cold spots she’d developed in over a week of not seeing him.
“I miss you!” Jamie pulled away to plant a kiss right on the top of the apple of Y/N’s cheek, something he only started doing recently. She guessed he’d only really learned how to. “Daddy said you pick me up today.”
“I missed you too, buddy. I see somebody else came to see you?”
“Oh, Stacie. She wants to take me home but daddy said you pick me up.”
“Yeah, okay. Do you want to wait a second while I talk to her?”
Jamie nodded, moving to stand next to her (small hand clutched in hers, of course) while Y/N greeted Stacie. Well, greet was a bit of an exaggeration; she didn’t get to before Stacie decided to introduce herself first.
“I’m his mom, I called Harry in the morning telling him I’d come for pick up. I have a packed schedule, so I’d appreciate it if you could let go of my child.”
Y/N almost laughed, the audacity of this woman a damn near mystery to her. “Wait. Don't talk about him like some sort of property. Harry never told me about anyone else coming to pick up Jamie.”
“He must’ve forgotten. He’s a busy man, I’m sure he would confirm—“
“Well then let’s call him, shall we?”
Stacie wanted to interject, she could tell, but Y/N had dialed way too fast for that to happen. The phone only had to ring once before Harry picked up, his voice coming in clear.
“Hey, you‘ve got Jamie?”
“I’m here at preschool but Stacie showed up before me and wants to take him home. You didn’t tell me, so I…” she trailed off, hoping he’d fill in the blanks.
It seemed to take a minute to click. “Stacie? His mother showed up at school?”
“Yes, was this arranged beforehand or…”
“No. No, don’t let her take him home. Shit, we talked about this last week, I don’t—“
“You… you talked about this last week?” The confusion dripped from Y/N’s voice and all she could hear was Harry’s attempt at concealing profanities. “What did you talk about last week?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just get home, tell her to call me to clear this up. I don’t want Jamie knowing Stacie is his mother yet, okay? So just get out of there before she tells him herself.”
A frown settled over Y/N’s features before she continued to end the call, scoop Jamie up into her arms and walk away after quick word. Stacie protested, but both her and Y/N knew she wouldn’t do much more than that in fear of causing a scene.
Y/N failed to pay attention to Jamie as she fastened the belt on his seat, only registering when she looked back into the rearview mirror and noticed the little pout starting to pull at his small lips.
And when he finally asked her, little quips of fear polishing his quiet tone:  “is Stacie my mum?”, all Y/N could do was pretend she hadn’t heard and hope he would forget, knowing he wouldn’t.
Y/N bombarded Harry with questions the second he‘d unlocked that front door.
“Y/N—“
“No, I’m entitled to know this time. I’m entitled to know when she ambushes us at preschool. Don’t you want me to know what I’m dealing with if it happens again? That woman almost fucking kidnapped him—“
“Calm down, Y/N. Sit down and I’ll explain it to you.”
She huffed in annoyance, listening nonetheless. She set herself down on one of the kitchen stools and tried to take control of her breathing. She watched as he took a seat opposite her.
“Stacie came to visit last week on Wednesday. She’d called beforehand, asking if it would be okay. She came and we had dinner, we talked some things out while Jamie was in bed. She apologized, asked if we could start working things out again. I agreed under the condition that she would approach the idea of Jamie as a friend first. She said that she would respect my wishes and that she wouldn’t come near him unless I gave my permission. That’s it. So far all Jamie knows is that she’s a friend of mine. I didn’t—god,” Y/N felt bad when Harry buried his head in his hands, itching to reach out in comfort. She chose to play it safe, settling a gentle touch over his thigh. “I know I should’ve known but it seemed real when we spoke last, you know? I didn’t think she’d do this.”
Y/N hadn’t seen Harry this distraught over anything. “I’m sorry. That’s heavy.”
“It’s—“ he sighed, “it’s something I keep having to deal with. All she wants is to have him on the weekends, have him pose as her cute son. But she doesn’t actually care about him.”
Y/N couldn’t do much more than nod. She was caught between playing the comforting role and being honest. She wasn’t sure if this was the place, if her opinion would be welcomed or if it would contribute to Harry’s sorrows. “She seemed… uncooperative when I spoke to her at school. Like she was in a rush or something, it scared me.”
“Yeah, she’s hardheaded.”
“Right.” Y/N pulled her hand away when Harry lifted his head, clearing her throat and averting her eyes. The change in her behavior didn’t go unnoticed, though he knew he shouldn’t ask. “So when you talked… when you agreed to working things out, you meant that in a friendly manner? Or were you going to be… a couple again?”
“We… I don’t know. We kissed— well, she kissed me a few days ago when we met up again for a playdate with Jamie. Never discussed it any further.”
“Do you love her?”
Y/N had begun to hold her breath in, but she didn’t notice it.
Harry did. He noticed the suction of a deep breath and he noticed how his own hands got clammy with sweat.
Harry looked skeptical, as though there was something on his tongue ready to peek out tentatively, only it couldn’t because he had to spare her feelings. Because there was little Y/N, intimidated by everything she’d ever had to face in her lifetime— little Y/N who had rejected him and still expected loyalty. Little Y/N who couldn’t have him, but had always wanted to.
“I think a part of me will always love her. I mean, she gave me Jamie and he’s… the best thing to ever happen to me, really. I love him, and I will always love her for giving birth to him. I will always love her for the good parts of our relationship.”
Y/N hated herself for hating his answer. It was a perfectly reasonable answer, truthful as Y/N expected, yet her mind wandered past the barriers, past the barbed wire. She couldn’t fully grasp how he could still love her— and yet she understood perfectly. There was Jamie, of course, but there were many other things. There was her hair, her bright complexion, the beautiful curve of her hips and the effortless look of her makeup. There was the fashion, the business-casual look that seemed to mesh so well with Harry’s. There was this calling when Y/N pictured the two of them standing side by side, almost like they were destined to be together. She could imagine it perfectly, the many years they had spent together. She could see it. And it looked perfect.
Y/N coughed, head nodding along to his words as if she were listening to instructions and not some heartfelt confession. It seemed instinctual, though.
When it came time for her to speak, she let a smile mold her lips into a perfect crescent moon. She never thought faking a smile could hurt more than a physical injury, but she’d been proven wrong. Everything looked intact— Y/N was sure she almost seemed unaffected from the outside. She wasn’t, though, and she wondered if Harry would recognize that.
“That’s… yeah. I get that.”
This was the first time Y/N actually felt the age gap between her and Harry. He sat here, ready to air it out. He spoke about his concerns, about the state of his son, and the only thing she could fret about was herself. Her sadness had no weight, it was too insignificant in comparison to his and it made her feel pathetic. It made her feel young and stupid and pathetic.
Harry deserved better than this. He deserved careful consideration, security for his child. He deserved trust and honesty, a sort of transparency Y/N couldn’t afford to offer to him yet.
“That’s not to say that I want to approach her in that way, especially after today, but…” he trailed off, only finding his words when it’d clicked that she wasn’t responding, “I just want you to understand that it’s complicated.”
Y/N nodded. Then she cleared her throat, ready to rid herself of this spotlight. She always messed up in the spotlight.  “Um, Jamie asked me if Stacie was his mum today. I didn’t answer, but you might want to think about what you’ll say to say to him next time. I also sent you a few résumés, I’ve talked to a few people and have set up interviews, the first one is scheduled for tomorrow—“ she visibly flinched when his hand came down on her thigh, “please, Harry. I can’t. Please just let me finish this.”
“Okay.”
A deep breath, “it’s scheduled for tomorrow after you come home from work. Do you want me to come on the call, or are you okay interviewing yourself?”
“I’d like you to come.”
“Okay. I’ll stay longer tomorrow.”
“Can we talk about us now? Properly?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Harry almost laughed, “there’s a lot to talk about. We just added on a good bit today.”
“I’m quitting. That’s it.”
“You know, I don’t understand why you insist that there’s nothing going on—“
“Because there isn’t,” she snapped. “There isn’t. I’m going to check up on Jamie.”
She was teary-eyed as she slipped from the stool, ready to conceal it all for the ball of sunshine sitting in the living room. She could do it all for Jamie— she would do it all.
Before he could say any more, Y/N disappeared behind the door. Harry could hear the two of them converse in the next room and his heart felt heavy as the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Harry had always known what to do— he was a CEO, for god’s sake. He was trained to find solutions, take control of seemingly unfixable problems, to make life easy. And yet, this girl thoroughly baffled him. He had no idea what the fuck to do anymore.
And yet, he was determined to keep trying.
Two people had interviewed over zoom and Harry had hated every one of them. His excuses were vague, something about the lack of experience (even though they both knew that Y/N hadn’t had any when she’d started either) and the supposed ‘wrong vibe’. One time he’d criticized a woman for her ‘ridiculously shrill voice’, at which point Y/N had rolled her eyes and proceeded to walk home in a fury.
The next day Y/N showed up again, ready to interview three more people. She sat beside Harry as he set up the video call and listened as he asked questions. Y/N was mostly in attendance to listen and give her honest feedback by the end (she really did want to find someone spectacular for Jamie), so the difficult part came later. For now she could be quiet.
This woman, aside from qualified, seemed very kind. So far, it’d been the best candidate.
“So how flexible is time for you?”
“Very. I do online classes for uni, so I can very well manage my time how I see fit.”
“That sounds fine. And you’ve had plenty of experience, I see.”
“Yes, I started babysitting when I was fourteen, so for more than ten years now. The last family I worked for just moved out of the country, which is why I’m looking for something new, but I was with them three years.”  
This woman had nothing but good evidence she would be the best for the job; no doubt better than Y/N. She had the experience, she seemed mature, she looked kind— she would act in a professional manner, something Y/N had never quite figured out yet.
That didn’t matter to Harry, though, because as soon as she’d gotten off the call, he muttered a ‘no’.
“Why not?” Y/N asked, bewildered by his blunt response, “she was literally perfect for the job.”
Harry lifted his shoulders in a shrug, busying himself with his laptop, “just didn’t feel right.”
“Okay, this is just getting too unreasonable at this point. You didn’t like the lack of experience, fine, that one woman’s shrill voice, fine— but this? She just didn’t feel right?”
“I don’t expect you to understand—“
“No. We’re not doing that.”
“It’s a feeling, Y/N. When I interviewed you, I got the feeling that it’s right, that I’d feel safe leaving Jamie with you. It takes trust.”
“But she’s— she’s so qualified, she—“
“Experience isn’t everything. It’s important, but not everything. You weren’t experienced when you came for your interview but you gave me the right feeling. Thus you were qualified for the job.”
And she understood, really, but it still fucking pissed her off. “That’s fucking— you’re being too picky.”
“For good reason.”
“At least two of the people we interviewed were qualified enough for a test run.”
“We still have about fifteen to go and there’s no rush.”
Y/N found this ridiculous. She muttered under her breath, pushing some hair back with a sweaty palm.
“Why is it that everything I do makes you angry?”
“Because you’re fucking infuriating.”
He breathed a chuckle, “that’s nice,” and closed his laptop. “Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ll make your favorite pasta.”
“I don’t—“ but Harry had already gotten to work, tuning her voice out without much trouble. He smiled at her, almost mocking.
“Do you have another job lined up?“
“Uh,” Y/N didn’t want to admit no, that she hadn’t even begun looking properly (save for that one café down the street from her apartment), knowing the consequences and aware of the tiring reprimanding from Harry ahead. A pitied glance. A pathetic speech. “I’ve applied.”
“Where?”
“A cafe.”
“Where?”
“You wouldn’t know it.”
“Are you hired?”
She huffed, “no.”
“Where else?”
“Um, a… another café. It’s in... near my apartment.”
“Would be bad if it wasn’t,” he quipped, paying her a shortened glance from over his cooking pot. “Do you need help?”
“No.”
“Financial help, maybe?”
Y/N groaned, “no.”
“Because I wouldn’t mind sending you some money—“
“Harry,” she cut him off in an instant, glaring daggers at him, “I’ll just send it back. I’ve saved up enough to get by for a few weeks.“
“That doesn’t exactly ease my—“
“Can we just— can we not?”
And they didn’t. Harry closed his mouth— forced it closed, actually— having to clench his jaw to stop himself from voicing unwanted thoughts.  Y/N looked away, pretending this conversation hadn’t happened at all. It was easier that way, to pretend he hadn’t conveyed such an open and honest display of care, to pretend that it hadn’t ripped her heart to shreds.
There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't. It was the first time in a while that Y/N stayed (somewhat voluntarily) after her shift, and he couldn't risk pushing her away further.
For now, he had to be okay with this.
Y/N couldn‘t keep her eyes off of Harry, images of last night flashing in between conflicting thoughts.
She was in bed. She was clutching her blanket, a wet spot and the outline of her body marked by sweat on the sheets. He‘d looked so real fucking her, he‘d sounded so genuine whispering into her ear as he thrust up into her cunt.
He‘d called her a good girl, and she‘d run with it, afraid to look back.
But it hadn‘t been real, had it?
It‘d been a dream. But god, was it a good one.
Would he do it all the same? Would be hold her close, spreading his fingers over the expanse of her breast as he kissed her neck? Would he glide them up, and wrap them around her throat? Would he— fuck. No. She couldn’t.
But he would. And they‘d look so pretty resting there. And she‘d feel so pretty as he overwhelmed her with his presence, his chest pressing against hers. He‘d look so right as he danced along the fine line of praise and degradation— the line of rough and sweet, cold and warm. Because he would know. He would know exactly what she would need.
Wouldn‘t he?
He would. As she watched him move through the space of his living room, she knew he would. She‘d always known, really.
And Jamie wasn’t here anymore, he’d fled up the stairs. And Y/N really, really shouldn’t be here with him alone.
She was biting on her nails, eyes cast downwards in avoidance as Harry read his book on the other end of the couch. He had an arm stretched along the back of the couch and her legs were tucked to her chest as she scrolled on her phone, trying her hardest not to let her gaze run wild. It proved especially difficult when his arm fell mere inches from her legs. And when he touched her, warm thumb rubbing comforting circles into the cold of her skin, she couldn’t help biting her lip.
“You okay?”
“Hm? Yes. Why?”
A smile stretched his mouth wide, “just seem distracted, is all. Squirmy.”
“What? No, I’m fine.”
God, she was feeling small under his gaze.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she mumbled. Harry saw her eyes, though, tired dark circles resting where they don’t belong. He saw how they widened, how desperate they seemed for something she didn’t want to disclose to him and he wanted so badly to satisfy that need for her. “I should go home.”
His grip tightened ever so slightly. “Would you like me to drive you?”
“Um, no. It’s okay. Thank you.”
But she failed to move.
Y/N had shut him out for so long that the effect he’d always had on her multiplied by ten. It was much much worse and the finger on her leg burned through her skin with ease.
“Sweetheart?”
“Hm?”
“Come here,” he demanded softly, watching as a war unfolded on her face. He could read her like a book, sensing the exact moment her heart won and her head gave up. He pulled her to him, fingers dancing up and down her shoulder. “You seem tired.”
Y/N cleared her throat, tips of fingers holding onto the edge of safety and threatening to let her cascade into the depths of danger. “I had three classes in the morning and I’ve been writing this paper, so—“ she allowed him control as he made her face the other way, legs outstretched, her back just inches from his chest and his hands massaging her tense shoulders. Her eyes closed in pleasure at the sensation. “And last night, I—“
“Last night you what?”
“I had… I had this dream and—“
She didn’t want to finish and he didn’t need her to.
“Is this okay?”
His voice felt soft and comfortable against her neck. “Yes, thank you. You’re good at that.”
He hummed.
“I really should go home though,” she mumbled, getting quieter with each word. She knew she wouldn’t dare push him away now, but she supposed it was more about convincing herself that she’d tried. “Cause I have classes early in the morning.”
“It’s only seven.”
“Yeah.”
Harry snickered quietly, her awful try at resistance not surprising him in the least. He had never seen her quite like this though, weak and smitten in his arms, on the verge of purring like a cat.  He definitely couldn’t complain when she inched closer and dropped her head so it could rest comfortably on his shoulder. 
“Can you do my arms?”
“Of course, baby.”
She could’ve melted. In fact, she probably had without noticing.  
And when she felt his lips pressing to her skin… well, then it was game over.
“Is this okay?”
She nodded promptly, heart racing.
Y/N was tired of rejecting this feeling, tired of pretending as though she didn’t want Harry’s affection. Because truly, it was all she wanted, all she’d longed for.
A love like his would feel so great.
“You look really beautiful, you know that?”
“Thank you,” she squeaked, sensing Harry’s chuckle rolling against her back at the response.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Me neither.”
“You’re the one who keeps running.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
Y/N took her time answering, grateful when Harry didn’t rush her. He would sit here waiting for an hour if he needed to, she was confident in that. There was no hurry, just soft hands on scalps and warm kisses on necks— Y/N hadn’t experienced such an overwhelming feeling of comfort in the arms of a man.
“I’m scared to stay.”
He sounded unfazed, giving her a surge of confidence when he asked, “why?”
“Because we’re such different people. You’re a dad, a very accomplished ceo. I’m a student, so much younger—“
“Don’t make me out to be so old, love.”
Her eyes rolled. “A little younger than you. And last week when I saw Stacie, I don’t know… it did something with my brain, I guess. You seemed so right together, you know? I didn’t want you to wake up one day and regret anything, don’t think I could bear that.”
“Look at me,” he muttered, tilting her head so that he could pin her down with a stern stare, “I couldn’t regret you, sweetheart. I regret much in life, but I wouldn’t regret you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Eh, I’m a pretty good judge of character.”
“Harry,” she warned, “I’m not the most lovable person once you get to know me.”
“I doubt that,” he retorted.
“Past experiences have proven as much.”
He gave gentle strokes to her cheek, a glaze he didn‘t expect overcoming her eyes, pulling him in, “so let me show you.”
Y/N’s breath hitched, his nose mere inches away from hers. “Show me what?”
“How easy it is to love you.”
Time stood still, but it couldn’t not have with a statement of that kind. It seemed so easy for him to brush off concerns as something undeserving of thought, to create an allusion of simplicity where it didn‘t belong. Those words meant everything to her.
“You must know how wonderful that sounds coming from your mouth.”
Harry breathed a chuckle, nose nudging against hers softly. When he asked for permission, Y/N couldn’t deny him of another kiss.
And if it could’ve gotten any better than their first kiss, then it definitely had. There was a newfound sense of freedom and security with this kiss, unspoken thoughts reduced to small details rather than what had been when they’d spent time together last.
When they parted, nothing needed to be said. They already knew it all.
A month later.
“Y/N, will you hand me another bowl for the soup, please?”
As Y/N fulfilled Harry’s plea, she couldn’t help but let her giddiness dictate her movements. Things were fresh, things were good— but they were also scary. He was scary. Anxious butterflies spread in her lower tummy at the mention of his name and infested it with the low sound of his voice.
She waited by his side as he tidied up, ready to be of assistance. It was pathetic, really, how awfully smitten she’d become for him.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
She hummed in reply, scared that if she were to speak all that would come out was a squeak. Harry chuckled, smirk molding into his cheekbones as he grasped Y/N by the waist and pushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. His hand slid lower, giving her a squeeze.
“Are you nervous?”
“Yeah.”
“It’ll be great, I promise. And whatever he says, we’ll work it out.”
“Okay,” a surge of confidence rode her to sunny dry shores, shoulders sacking in comfort, “yeah, okay. I trust you.”
“You ready then?”
“Yes.”
Things proceeded as they always had; Y/N and Jamie shared funny anecdotes of their day as Harry mostly listened, admiring the two of them with love filling his eyes. It wasn’t until desert had come that the setting changed, unbeknownst to Jamie, and Harry took the lead.
“Jamie, we want to talk to you about something.”
Jamie stared between the two of them, waiting.
“Do you remember when you came home from school and told me about Katie and Josh? That they’re boyfriend girlfriend?”
“Yes, they still are.”
Harry chuckled, “and do you remember what I said when you asked if I had a girlfriend?”
“You said that you don’t.”
“I did. And while that may have been true for that moment, things have changed.”
Her heart melted and sank all the same when his little green eyes lit up, “do you have a girlfriend now?”
“I do,” Harry laughed, “you know her.”
“Who?”
Harry smirked, motioning to Y/N with a nod of his head to draw Jamie’s attention away. Jamie’s gaze landed on Y/N and in the matter of a second it filled with excitement. His mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Are you okay with that?” She asked, timid at first but becoming more confident when a genuine smile imprinted small dimples in his cheeks, a feature he’d been lucky enough to receive from his father.
He nodded, full of movement, and hummed in confirmation.
When Y/N and Harry had put Jamie into bed later that night, and had vacated to the kitchen to enjoy a glass of wine together, things finally fell into place. The thought of happiness within a relationship was no longer a distant one— no, it had become a reality. Harry had kept up with his promise, he had shown her easy, he’d shown her effortless, and while there was no doubt in her mind that hard times were still to come, she was confident that no matter the circumstance, her gratitude for his open portrayal of love could never be put into question.
“I love you,” she shared, eyes glassy, head tilted. “You don’t have to say it back, but I just want you to know. I think I’ve loved you for quite some time, I just didn’t want to realize it.”
The silence was short lived.
He placed his glass back down on the table and smiled, though to her it almost looked awkward. “Wow.”
“I know, you don’t have to… cause I know it’s a big deal, so you don’t have to say anything.”
“I do too,” he then offered, hand traveling to rest on her knee. “I love you.”
“Really?”
“I do.”
This stumped her.
And now it was her turn: “wow.”
Harry’s laughter spread everywhere on Y/N’s skin, engraving itself into her soul and staying there to be kept and remembered forever.
“Good. Now that that’s cleared…”
She couldn’t deny him of a passionate make-out session, hands on thighs and lips everywhere they fit, everywhere they felt right. A moan slipped from her mouth, his smirk molded into her hot skin.
“Move in with me,” he muttered, dirty against her mouth, “we’re finding a new nanny for Jamie and you don’t have a new job planned yet. Just focus on university, move in with me, with us. Let me take care of you.“
“Harry—“ his mouth collided against her neck, her eyes closed shut, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“We’ve only been together—“
“Doesn’t matter, I’ve fought for a long time to have you. I believe in us, I trust this.”
“I…“ Y/N felt torn— on one hand, she really wanted to move in with him. On the other, was that really wise? To move in with a man after a month of dating him? Albeit this was Harry, and she trusted him too. Fully. It was herself she didn’t trust. “Are you sure?”
And when she looked into his eyes, there was no not one ounce of doubt in them. They welcomed her.
“Jamie would love it just as much as me.”
“Would he?”
“Are you kidding me? He loves you so much.”
“I love him too,” she played with a strand of his hair.
“Then move in with us.”
A smile began to pull at her lips. “But I pay for groceries.”
“No,” he mumbled, “you’re too broke for me to let you do that.”
“Harry!”
“It’s true!” He laughed, massaging her thigh. “Baby, I don’t expect you to pay for anything living here. I’m more than capable—“
“I know you’re capable, but I just… I was taught not to burden other people.”
“You’re not burdening me,” he insisted, finger sliding under her chin, “it’s okay to let other people do things for you. It’s okay for others to show their love.”
“I know that.”
“So please don’t worry about it. Focus on your studies and make me proud in that way.”
“I need to make money somehow.”
“No you don’t. I’ll support you.”
“No,” she breathed right away, “I won’t depend on you for money. You’re not my… my sugar daddy.”
“Why not?” He grinned, “you call me daddy either way—“
Y/N’s eyes rolled, “shut up.”
“Told you not to roll your eyes at me.”
“Sorry.”
Harry hummed, “try it for a month. If you want to move in after, you can. If you don’t, I’ll help you find a new place. Or I’ll pay your rent while you’re here so you don’t lose out on money.”
Comfortable silence dictated the next few seconds as Y/N thought about her boyfriend’s offer, and then: “fine. We’ll try it for a month.”
Harry’s smile widened, “yeah?”
“Yes.”
“You won’t regret it."
He'd been right.
--
The end! Would love to hear your feedback :) but also like… don’t be too harsh cause I can’t handle it
tags:
@tpwk-mia @gem1712 @behindmygreyeyes, @sinarainbows @infixinfinity @adkmermaid2399 @daphnesutton @imaginexxharry @bry211 @haliastyles @watarmelon212 @impossibleme @cali-888 @dreamybabbyy @evie-119 @cumuluscranium @c-a-b3002 @buckybarnessimpp @freckles-things @harryedwardstylesluva24 @ihavesimpedovermanyfictionalmen @angelbunny222 @ivegotthecinema @harryscowgirl
I hope I didn’t forget anyone!
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skyahri · 3 months
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Blind |Naruto Men X Uchiha!Reader| HC
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Characters: Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Madara Uchiha, Hashirama Senju
Summary: How they handle their partner losing their sight due to the effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan.
Warnings: Mentions of fem, but not very relevant. Mentions of war and loss of sight.
- - - - -
Kakashi Hatake
He knew the day would come when the Sharingan would take your vision, but he didn't know it'd be so soon.
There were no other eyes available to you at the moment, so eternal was not an option.
Not that'd you do it anyway. It was highly against your beliefs to partake in the Uchiha nonsense that was eye swapping.
Something that drew Kakashi towards you in the first place.
You'd been preparing for this day since you first awakened your mangekyo.
You'd memorized the layout of your apartment, practiced roaming the village in a blind fold, and learned braille.
You'd been coping well, Kakashi... not so much.
He couldn't deal with the knowledge that you'd sacrificed your vision for the sake of the village.
You'd given up everything during your years as a shinobi, and this was the icing on top of the cake.
He'd watch you every day.
Watch you drag your hands across the walls of your apartment. Watch you walk a bit too far past the stall in the market. Watched you struggle to do simple things like grocery shopping.
Over time, you'd become worse and worse at eye contact, and that ate him alive.
There were no more longing looks or sneaky glances. Even your attempts to appear as if you could see were slowly declining, and it dampened his mood every time.
He felt as if he'd failed you. If only he'd been stronger, you wouldn't have had to overuse your doujutsu.
But he stayed quiet because you seemed happy. You were alive and safe and happy, and that's all he could ask for.
Shikamaru Nara
After the war, your vision had completely vanished. There were no blurry shapes or deaf perception problems because there was simply no sight.
There was no time to prepare. You hadn't planned on having to use the mangekyo so much in battle, and the price was astronomical.
He tried to help where he could, but you were being stubborn, constantly rejecting any aid he tried to provide.
"Just let me-"
"I told you I can do it myself."
"No, you can't, just let me-"
And that's when he felt the sobs rack through your body. Tears quickly fell down your face and your hands couldn't keep up.
He sighed and forced everything out of your hands.
"I can't do anything anymore."
"That's not true."
You scoffed, a bitter laugh leaving your lips.
"I can't go grocery shopping or cut fruit or put dishes away without running into everything or breaking something or,"
"Give it time. It'll get better."
"Two weeks ago, I was a shinobi. Today, I'm just a blind girl who can barely feed herself."
Shikamaru wasn't sure what to do. Strategy was easy becausebit was all factual. Feelings, though? So many variables he didn't know where to start.
He confided in Kakashi at some point, but wasn't too pleased with the advice he got it.
"Let her figure it out. She's a smart girl."
Despite thinking it was a stupid suggestion, he listened.
Slowly, over time, you'd regained your confidence and became the capable person you had previously been.
Doesn't stop Shikamaru from uncharacteristically babying you sometimes, though.
Sasuke Uchiha
He offered you his eyes, but you declined.
You weren't fond of Uchiha tradition despite being raised by it. Taking his eyes just felt like you'd be starting the new age Uchiha clan off on the wrong foot.
So you chose blindness.
It was difficult at first, but you quickly learned to get around and help yourself with little to no issue.
You'd gone from stumbling around the kitchen to making yourself breakfast within a few months.
Living with out sight wasn't too bad, and you'd grown accustomed to it. You felt like you'd made the right decision.
Until your first son was born.
It wasn't the parenting aspect that you found difficult, it was the emotional one.
When Sasuke told you your son looked just like Itachi, you knew you'd have to see for yourself.
So, you allowed Sakura to do the transplant.
Within seconds after the bandages were off and you had time to adjust to light, your sight was fully restored.
Sasuke brought in your baby, and wouldn't you know it? He looks exactly like Itachi.
The sharingan is based on strong emotions, yeah? Maybe you can base it on love in the new Era.
Naruto Uzumaki
Unlike the others, Naruto finds the whole eye transplant thing horrendous.
"What do you mean by that, huh? You freaks just trade eyes like around? That's the worst thing I've ever heard."
Although he wasn't happy with your newfound loss of sight, he wasn't one to label anything as a downside.
A setback? Sure. Negative? Never.
Hes overall very patient about it, even if in the moment he gets a little ahead of himself.
He's always forgetting that you're blind, so he'll ask you to look at things all the time.
"Hey, what's this?"
You just shrug. He may or may not bring your hand to the object to get a feel, but he mostly just gets embarrassed and drops it.
It honestly hadn't really dawned on him until he asked you to go train with him and you'd refused.
Sure, you could overtime work yourself up to be a shinobi again, but at this point in your life, that just wasn't the dream anymore.
Madara Uchiha
He thinks you're being stupid.
This world is all about power and you're choosing to be blind?
Idiotic.
You may be his wife, but he ignores you for quite some time after you make it clear there will be no eternal in your future.
It's an easy justification for him; he doesn't mingle with the weak.
Life gets pretty lonely after he decides to completely shut you out. Yeah, he sees Hashirama and makes his round through the compound, but it's not the same.
It isn't until he sees you in the village, going about life as you had months ago, that he starts to think maybe he was too hasty.
After all, he had married you for many reasons, and a big one was how skilled you were at adapting.
That night, when he finally returns home, he decides to sleep in your marital bed, not in the guest room.
The next day, he joins you for breakfast.
He came home early from his duties for the first time in a while.
He even started speaking to you once again.
You don't say anything right away. You know how he is about changing his mind, and you aren't willing to push your luck.
Things slowly get better over the span of a few weeks, and that's when you decide it's time to question him.
"I take it you've come to terms with my decision?"
"Of course not. I still think you're a fool."
Just the answer you'd expect.
"But I have missed you dearly."
You smile at him.
Hashirama Senju
The eternal was never something either of you had considered, so when your vision eventually dulled, it was fully expected.
Times were peaceful at the moment, so he had no need to worry for your safety.
You were almost always near someone willing to lay their life down for you- himself, Tobirama (reluctantly), or Madara - so there truly was no need to stress.
He helped as much as he could while also attending to his duties as Hokage.
Unlike Naruto, he had true patience. He happily held your hand every step of the way.
It wasn't long before your life was back on track, no longer burdened by the anxiety that came with cluelessness.
While Hashirama had preferred it never come to this in the first place, he was happy that things had worked out as best as they possibly could.
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kirimoochi · 1 month
Text
a new challenger!
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₊˚ ᗢ streamer! kazuha x gn!reader.
⤷ when he falls asleep on his desk with his stream still on, you finish his game.
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kazuha kaedehara is not an unfamiliar name in the world of streaming. many viewers might associate him with 4NEMO, a larger group that focuses on showcasing a variety of talents on twitch. he has a somewhat competitive streak with xiao, oftentimes talking too much while drunk about how thankful he was to have him as a friend, all while the two of them were having a one-on-one with scaramouche screaming into the microphone. he’s also known for his soft, alluring voice which compliments venti’s. they both stream once in a blue moon a cover, usually consisting of a popular song that week. 
everyone had pretty high hopes when they announced that they would have a 24-hour valorant stream, playing a 2v2 match, they didn’t think kazuha would fall asleep the moment he closed his eyes and laid his head down during a break. what they weren’t expecting was to see a new, unfamiliar face appear from out of his door.  calling out kazuha’s name softly, you walked up to his setup, not aware that his camera and stream were still on, shaking his shoulder gently to wake him up. he only stirs and whines, subtly pushing you away. you restrained a sigh as you looked up at the bright screen, noticing that his game was still running. 
shrugging your shoulders, you pick up the controller, still unaware that you are being recorded. you thought it’d be fun to get at least one game in for yourself. kazuha always streams himself playing the game, so much so that he sometimes can’t play with you. the viewers watched anxiously as you played standing up, holding his controller while resuming the game. 
xiao commented to the other members how unusual kazuha’s movements are, not checking his camera whatsoever. only a few minutes in and you’ve already cleared scaramouche, leaving xiao the only other player. viewers are spamming the chat with emotes, surprised that this newcomer of a player could keep up with everyone. you are nonchalant about the whole ordeal. and with a final click, you just peeked the corner and killed the forest-haired streamer. you let out a sigh of relief, talking to yourself about how stressful it was to be the last player. 
“was he playing with randoms? this game seemed a little easy,” you say, reaching out to grab a blanket. “maybe he was just playing with bots.” kissing him on the back of his head, you ruffle his hair. “kazuha baby, can you wake up? it’s late.” 
with your lips close to his ear, he jolts awake, looking up at you with wide eyes as you jump back slightly in surprise. he quickly wipes his vision with the back of his hand. waiting for it to clear, he could barely make out the comments on his stream through the blurry mess. 
what did he miss?
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Note
30k follower celebration for Hannibal Lecter please prompt 3 “I never thought I would see you again.”
.⋆。Won’t Let Go Again。⋆.
Hannibal Lecter x plus size reader
implied Hannigram x plus size reader
Moving to Baltimore was supposed to be a fresh start, to escape the ghosts of your past but a budding new friendship with an FBI profiler leads you back to the man who left you behind
Warnings: european!reader, DARK, usual Hannibal warnings (implied cannibalism, kidnapping, drugging, manipulation), childhood lovers, needles
WC: 1.2k
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
Halloween Celebration
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America confused you, everything was big and moved so quickly, you considered it a miracle that you didn’t constantly get lost. But it was such a beautiful place, especially Baltimore. The mixture of old and new architecture that lined the bay was so reminiscent of your old home but also gave you a whole new world to explore.
With a paper map in your hands, you wandered down a mostly empty street, your small heels clacking softly against the pavement. You were determined in your search for a new coffee shop to try out on your day off but so far, you have been unsuccessful. Head down and concentrated, you didn’t notice an equally distracted man walking straight in your direction.
You bowled into each other and you both fell down. You winced and the man yelped as you crashed onto the cold sidewalk. “Oh god! I am so sorry, I should’ve seen where I was going.” You apologised quickly, ignoring the way the skin of your knees burned with pain.
The man shook his head at you, causing his brown curls to tumble over his forehead. “No it’s my fault, sometimes I just wander and forget my surroundings.” He pulled himself to his feet and offered you a hand, although he would not meet your eyes.
“I suppose we are both at fault then.” You chuckled and allowed him to help you to your feet. Your long skirt fell back over your legs, concealing the small cuts on your knees. You took note of the way he made sure that you were all right before he appraised his own body for any injuries. 
He suddenly ducked down and grabbed something from a puddle on the side of the street, and when he popped back up with your now destroyed and waterlogged map, he smiled sheepishly at you. “How about I get us some coffee as a sorry for ruining your map?”
He finally met your gaze with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes you had ever seen. Then his stomach growled loudly and he looked away, pink dusting over his high cheekbones. “Then let me buy some sandwiches for us both.” You offered.
——————
Your friendship with Will Graham was like how you viewed the states, both nostalgic and brand new, filled with mystery and comfort. You learned quickly that he was not a very reliable friend given that he frequently disappeared into cases and his own mind but he was also an incredible friend when he was around.
He showed you all of Baltimore and taught you some tricks to navigating any city so you wouldn’t get lost. And now, he was inviting you to dinner- at his therapist’s house. 
“I would hardly call this romantic, Will.” His eyes flicked to you as he reached to ring the doorbell of the townhouse in front of you.
“I never said this was going to be romantic.” He snipped but he still squeezed your hand tightly.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “You said that you were taking me to dinner somewhere nice, I assumed it was a date.”
“You’re teasing me, I don’t like when you tease me.” He muttered but you could clearly see the way the corner of his lips turned upwards in a soft smile. 
Before you could retort that he did in fact love your teasing, the door opened and the breath was sucked from your lungs. “Hannibal.”
Amber eyes widened and the careful composure he possessed, fell away. “Mylimasis.” (Beloved) Your hand went limp in Will’s hold and suddenly your vision was blurry with tears.
“I-I have to go.” But your companion held tight, his own blue eyes staring at you with an apt fascination. You could see the way his brain was ticking over, analysing each and every part of you but you refused to give anything away. “Let me leave.” 
You tried to pull from his hold and instead you were pushed into another one. Hannibal was much stronger than you remembered and he easily pulled you into his home. Will followed close behind, shutting the door with a firm slam. You would later question why he so blindly obeyed Hannibal but in the moment, you were only focused on the way your heart was breaking all over again. 
His chest was firm beneath your touch as he tugged you fully into his arms. He was older, there was no doubt about that, but the longer you looked into those golden eyes you used to know so well, the more you saw of that boy who had stolen your very soul. “My mylimasis, I never thought I would see you again.” 
Your anger flared once more, setting your veins alight with a fire you thought you had extinguished long ago. “That tends to happen when you abandon someone.” He did not even flinch at your fight.
A large, warm hand cupped your full cheek as he gazed at you just the same as he had so many years ago- you wanted to punch that look off of his face. “Even more beautiful than I remember.”
Your eyes burned with unshed tears, memories unearthing from the deep graves in your mind you had buried them in.
The first time you saw him, you didn’t think he was real. He was so beautiful he had to have been some sort of fae. His regal features practically glowed in the spring sunlight as he smiled at you. You could never clearly remember what he said to you that day in the flower fields by your small home but you did remember the feeling of his words- love, comfort, warmth.
But the day he left, his touch only brought you pain. You could still feel the way that the gravel sliced into your palms as you fell at his feet, begging him not to leave. He promised you the world yet he took the world from you. His eyes were dark, his lips turned down in a vicious sneer.
No matter how hard you tried, you could not forget the expression of pure hatred and disgust he held on that day. 
“You know her?” Will finally spoke from behind you. Hannibal finally looked away from you and to his patient who still stood awkwardly right in front of the door. 
“She is my first love.” He answered simply as you scoffed under your breath. “It seems fate brought my two loves to each other and then to me.” 
Your eyes went wide. “Let me go!” You thrashed violently but his grip never faltered. “You’re fucking crazy!” Hannibal never even acknowledged your struggle, instead nodding over your head towards his lover.
So caught up in your struggle, you didn’t hear the opening and subsequent shutting of a drawer before the heat of Will’s body drew closer and his breath tickled the back of your neck. “Don’t fight it, it will only make this worse.” His voice sounded cold and so unlike the man who would call you in the middle of the night to talk about a new stray dog he rescued.
You tried to turn your head but Hannibal firmly gripped your jaw, keeping you still. There was a pinch in your neck then warmth suddenly flooded through you. “Fuck you.” Even as your words slurred, the malice in your tone didn’t escape either man.
“Just close your eyes mylimasis, we will never let you go ever again.” The darkness swallowed you whole.
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slytherinslut0 · 27 days
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girl pleaseeee, can you do something about mattheo with a chubby!reader? she's very insecure with her body and he just starts worshipping her body, kissing every part of her and buried between her legs until shes crying from overstimulation 😭😭😭 I'm sorry, I'm a chubby girl and sometimes a have the feeling (stupid ofc) that he's not gonna like my body
btw, english is not my first language, so i apologize if this request looks confuse
i know you wanted this in form of a drabble or perhaps a proper fic, but i’m speaking directly to you, my dearest anon. this one is all for you.
because baby, hand to god from the deepest parts of my heart, i don't want you to ever think in a million fucking years that Mattheo goddamn Riddle wouldn't be all over you with no breaks.
i mean it, from deep within my soul, when i say that man would be unable and completely unwilling to keep his hands off you. there’d be no doubts about it. he’d be obsessed with the thickness of your thighs, sweet like the finest nectar, and he'd make it his life's mission to leave marks on every inch of your goddamn body just to make sure you knew who it belonged to. Mattheo Riddle would be so obsessed with your body, he'd want pictures of you naked to keep in his wallet, he'd want to hang you up on his wall like a goddamn masterpiece just to gawk at all hours of the day because no matter how long he stares, he just can't believe it's all for him.
i can tell you that without a doubt, that man would make it a fucking mandated law that you recite affirmations back to him every time you're feeling down about yourself, like "I'm the prettiest bitch around" and "I have the juiciest fucking thighs and hips and ass all for my bf to devour."
don’t ever doubt for a second that Mattheo Riddle wouldn't be utterly infatuated with you because he would. he’d worship every curve, every mark, every blimp and blemish. his hands would constantly be exploring, memorizing your body like a sacred text, his lips leaving trails of worship wherever they touched. his desire for you would be insatiable, his obsession undeniable. he’d revel in the fact that you were his, his to hold, his to love, his to cherish. his voice would be a constant murmur in your ear, telling you how perfect you are, how every part of you drives him wild. and he'd make damn sure you knew it every single day.
and when it came to pleasuring you, he'd be merciless. for every second you think badly about yourself, he’d make it his mission to make you orgasm, over and over, until you're begging him to stop. his hands, his mouth, his body—everything focused on you, driving you to the edge and pulling you back only to push you further.
"You don't get to think like that," he'd growl against your skin, his fingers working you with expert precision, turning your vision blurry for the 18th time that night. "Not when I'm here to remind you how fucking incredible you are."
he’d make you recite those affirmations, punctuating each one with a kiss, a bite, a thrust.
"Say it," he'd demand, his eyes dark with desire, pupils blown wide with love and admiration. "I'm the prettiest bitch around."
and you'd say it, breathless and trembling, because he wouldn't stop until you did. tears of pleasure streaming down your cheeks, the words he made you recite becoming your truth.
he’d revel in your pleasure, your gasps and moans his symphony, your body his canvas, marked and claimed and loved. Mattheo Riddle would be your worshiper and your conqueror, his devotion as fierce as his desire, making sure you never doubted your worth for a single second. he’d be your constant, your rock, the man who saw you for the goddess you were and worshipped you accordingly.
don’t ever doubt for a second that Mattheo Riddle wouldn't be utterly infatuated with you because he would be. completely, irrevocably. you are fucking beautiful. 🩵
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wooahaes · 5 months
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dream a little dream with me
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pairing: non-idol!jeonghan x gn!reader
prompt: soulmate au series. 9/13
word count: 4.7k~
warnings: skinship. food mentions. some slight angst.
daisy’s notes: oh to have a soulmate i meet with in my dreams...
summary: Jeonghan knows you. He might not know your face, but you’re the person in his dreams every night. And frankly… he’s pretty sure he’s already falling for you. He just has to figure out how to find you when the world won’t let him trade names or locations or anything he can actually use. At least he knows your favorite things…
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"Hello...?"
Jeonghan was maybe thirteen when he finally met you for the first time, and you'd already proven him wrong with your existence alone. When he had turned ten, he expected to feel... something. To lose all the colors within his vision, or maybe he would feel your pain or something physical. A name, your first thoughts, your first words... Except he felt nothing. It'd upset him, sure--most people were upset by that kind of thing just on the account of being considered an outsider to their peers. Yet now he'd found himself in a museum filled with paintings he couldn't fully make out, and surrounded by people with blurry faces... Except for you.
He'd blinked. "Hello?"
And you lit up, making your way over to him. "You're...?"
Jeonghan had furrowed his brow, watching you carefully. Why could he see you...? "I'm Jeonghan," he had said, thinking that was what you meant.
You'd given him your given name, too--last name melting into white noise for a second. For a moment, you stood there, brimming with excitement. "We're--We're soulmates."
Immediately, he'd felt lighter at the revelation. "Oh!" Then he paused, brows drawing together once more as a follow-up thought pushed into his head immediately. "Why haven't we met before?"
He'd seen the way you grew more upset, gaze no longer meet his own. "I'm... It's complicated." You wrapped your arms around yourself. "I think... Our sleep schedules don't overlap?" You looked up. "I laid down to take a nap for a bit because I was feeling sick, so..."
So you weren't near him. He felt a sting of rejection, even though you hadn't said anything of the sort.. Emotions were weird at thirteen, after all, and something like his soulmate not being near him. Obviously, it wasn't your fault: you didn't pick where you lived. He looked around, and felt... awkward. It was different than meeting someone for the first time in reality. At least other people were around. Now, it just you and him in this dream together.
"Do you wanna talk?" He said after a moment. "Since... I don't know if I'll get to see you again."
"You aren't mad?"
He shook his head. "I just wish you were closer," he crossed his arms. "This isn't fair."
You frowned. "It's not... So let's talk."
The two of you strolled on your own, getting to know one another. He learned the country you were from, even though he wouldn't know what city or town you were in. He learned about this doughnut place in your hometown, though, that you loved to visit when you could. He told you school stories and about his own friends, about the pranks he'd pulled on his little sister... Little things to learn about one another. He learned your favorite color, you learned the foods he disliked...
And then all too soon, you had disappeared within seconds. He had called for you, only to realize that you must have woken up--or been woken up, since it was so sudden. When he woke up the next morning for school, he told his parents that he'd met his soulmate in his dreams (even though he couldn't fully remember your face once he was awake).
Thus began the cycle. He probably needed the naps he would start taking in an attempt to meet you again, but he'd grown used to pushing through his fatigue to work on schoolwork or to spend time with friends. Yet his parents always knew where he'd be when they came home from work, finding him asleep on his bed as he hoped to meet you again.
Sometimes it worked. Sometimes he could sit with you for a little while, long enough to see you off before you woke up for your own schooling. Other times, he'd get home far too late to see you. But every time the two of you met over the rest of your teenage years, you made it work. The two of you would talk more about yourselves, getting to know each other better. He learned how to tell when you were upset, and would let you vent if you needed to. You'd given him a space to talk freely about his own feelings, too: the things that made him happy, or the things that were worrying him in real life...
Most people didn't know about his 'other' life in his dreams. The one where the two of you would go on walks in a city, sometimes holding hands. He'd slowly begun to fall for you over time, realizing that the care you showed him was sweet. The two of you had been strangers years ago, and now he understood maybe that was why the two of you were soulmates.
When he tried to kiss you around eighteen, you stopped him.
"I wanna kiss you for real," you said to him, holding his hands. "I know it's unfair to ask you to wait for me, but--"
"I will." He hadn't hesitated. Although he had kissed a girl once before (he was fifteen, and he realized after he did it that he'd much rather be kissing the person in his dreams) and told you so, he'd held off on dating. He wanted to experience things with you.
You'd squeezed his hands. "You don't have to."
Were you rejecting him...? What if he started dating someone and he loved them more than he already loved you? Part of him felt like he knew he would leave that person if he met you face-to-face, and yet... That meant he would hurt someone else. He'd heard stories about soulmates who left partners to be with one another, and while they were happy, the people left behind grew to resent them. Could he really do that to another person?
"You don't want me to?" He'd pulled his hands from yours, feeling the tiny sting in his chest.
You shook your head. "No, I--I just don't want you to wait around for me forever. What if we never meet?"
But what if we do? Jeonghan felt his heart sink in his chest. "We will," he said. Jeonghan never considered himself a hopeless romantic, but he had the naivete of a eighteen-year-old on his side. "I'll find you. I promise."
Before you could say something, you had begun to fade again. You were waking up. "Jeonghan--"
And then you were gone.
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The first person Jeonghan had told about you was one of his college roommates, Joshua. He'd been listening to the way he'd been venting about how he felt he was annoying his soulmate whenever he sang, and waited until Seungcheol left for class to finally admit it out loud. He'd tell Seungcheol, too, soon: he just... needed to do it at his own pace. Both of his roommates seemed like good people who wouldn't judge him, but he'd already decided. Joshua first, and then Seungcheol. Deciding on that had made it easier, especially since Seungcheol was the busier of the two.
"My soulmate and I share dreams," he had said, pushing around the noodles in his ramyeon cup.
Joshua looked up. "Oh. Really?"
He nodded. "We talk whenever we can. It's hard. They're not from here. Depending on when I take a nap, I can either talk to them for a while or just ten minutes..."
"It sounds hard," Joshua nodded along. He'd sat backwards in his chair, leaning against the back of it with his chest, arms folded over the top. "So what are you doing to find them?"
Jeonghan said nothing.
"... Aren't you going to look for them?"
Jeonghan's gaze flickered up from his food. "I don't know. I don't know if they actually want to be found."
"That's--"
"We talked about it last time we met, a little over a year ago." He pushed around noodles more, never actually eating. "I'm in love with them. I don't know how they feel, although they said they'd rather kiss me for real when we meet. Then they said not to wait for them."
"It sounds like they're in love with you, too," he said.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes. "Then why tell me not to wait?"
"Well... They're not from here." Joshua rested his chin on his arms. "Maybe they don't want you to feel like you can't date or anything."
"Don't you think I've tried it before?" Jeonghan looked up. "After they said that, I tried to move on, and I spent the entire time comparing her to my soulmate. She's not them."
Joshua frowned. "Dude... If you spend the entire time comparing, them, you're not going to be happy--"
"I know that." Jeonghan let out a sigh. "I just... I tried being with other people. She wasn't the only girl I tried to date--or see at all." They're just my soulmate, and I realized how much I love them every time I try to be with someone else. But would Joshua understand that...? Or would he just sound over-dramatic for someone he'd never met in person?
"I... see." Joshua looked off. "I guess it's different when you know your soulmate."
Jeonghan softened a little when he saw the guilt on Joshua's face. "It's fine," he said. "I just... I wish I could go to them. I don't know where they are, exactly, and it's not like I can go find them."
Can't you? He pushed away the thought. The world was big. .He couldn't just go out and find you--at least, not without looking like a creep. As much as he wished he could just let go of that desire deep within him to be with you, even temporarily, he just couldn't. Not when he'd gotten to know you so deeply. He felt as though a part of him would always be with you now, and that he carried you with him wherever he went.
Joshua understood, though. He listened, and he gave Jeonghan his thoughts whenever he asked for him. Seungcheol would eventually do the same, once Jeonghan told him about his soulmate. Seungcheol hadn't shown any offense to not being told (it was Jeonghan's business, after all). And in the moments in-between, Jeonghan was with you in some way--either thoughts preoccupied with you or in the fleeting moments of sharing a dream space.
"I kissed someone," you confessed at one point. Jeonghan had been sitting underneath a tree with you, fashioning a flower crown out of the little yellow blossoms that littered the ground around him. You craned your neck to look at him, "Are you mad...?"
He shook his head. "Do you like this?"
At first, you didn't move, and he felt his heart falter. "I dunno," you confessed a moment later. "I feel like... Every person I meet, I keep comparing them to you. Like... Hannie would laugh at this joke. Or Hannie would think this. It's like... I can't get you out of my head."
His heart skipped a beat this time as he stared at you, his face growing redder by the second. "... Really?"
"I... I dunno. It's just--I don't want you to think I'm some sort of loser when we meet."
When. Not if. "So you want to find me?"
He saw the way you grew more flustered, eyes landing anywhere but him as you pushed yourself up so that you were sitting. "Yes. Are you mad?" You finally met his gaze. "I mean... I think I hurt you before. When I told you not to wait for me? And we never talked about it, so..."
Jeonghan set the flower crown into his lap, reaching out to cup your cheek. "I'm not mad," he said softly. "Not anymore."
"So you were mad."
He nodded a little after a moment. "At first..." He drew his hand back, shifting over so that he could sit closer to you. "At first I was hurt," he said, "because I thought you didn't want to find me. And... And I really wanted to kiss you, so I thought you were rejecting me, and.. I talked to my friends about it and they told me that it was alright to feel hurt, but that I was making assumptions about how you felt. So..." He dropped his hand down, pressing his palms into the grass. "How do you feel?"
"I've always wanted to meet you," you said outright. "But... I was talking to a few friends, and they kept asking questions about where you lived, and whether we'd get the chance to meet. It felt kinda mean," you moved closer, pressing your back against the tree, so that you could sit next to Jeonghan. "Like... They don't get a guarantee that they'll meet their soulmates. What makes us different?"
"Well, we know each other," he said, hand slipping into your own. "It's easier to accept things if you don't know your soulmate."
"I guess," you nodded along. "But... I dunno, it just made me anxious that we'd never be able to find each other."
"We will," Jeonghan said softly. "We'll make it work. I want to try."
Your hand curled around his, squeezing it tighter. "I want to try, too," you said, firm in what you were committing to. "Hannie?" You paused for a moment, "Jeonghan...? I want to be with you. I know we've never met in person, but can we...?"
He nodded. "Yes," he breathed out, reaching his other hand up to turn your face toward him. "May I...?"
You closed the distance between the two of you. It left him wondering if your lips would be this soft in reality. The last thing he heard was the sound of you saying his name, about to say something else when he found himself back in his couch, heart racing in his chest. He had jolted forward, fully awake out of nowhere, enough that it alerted Joshua and Seungcheol. The two were sitting at their little dinner table when they turned to see Jeonghan.
"... Bad dream?" Joshua called out.
Jeonghan just bolted to his bedroom, shutting himself in as he processed what all just happened. You kissed him. You wanted to be more. You wanted to find him.
And, fuck, he was going to do anything to find you now.
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Most people gave Jeonghan weird looks when he explained his relationship to them. Yes, he hadn't met you in real life yet. No, it didn't really do anything to the relationship--it limited your dates, sure, but you had fun manipulating the dreamscape together to go wherever you wanted to go. Amusement parks with no waits for the rides, or this little cafe in your hometown, or a lovely park at night that Jeonghan walked through alone and wished you were there with him in reality. There were plenty of downsides, sure--neither of you could taste the food that you were eating, or feel the wind on your face--but you made it work and resolved to live these out once you found your way to each other. Sometimes people tried to challenge him: how could he have a relationship entirely with someone in his dreams? Didn't he miss the physical contact?
Which... The answer was a resounded 'yes,' but also it was none of their business. The two of you made it work, end of story. He'd eventually had a friend circle that accepted his relationship with his soulmate, although he'd become insistent that (when Seungkwan met his soulmate) his experience didn't count. That the two of you had agreed that your 'day one' of your relationship would be the day that you met face to face, just to make it easier to pin down a date. Everyone else had a date they could use as an anniversary, and you... Well, you and Jeonghan were different.
Although things had changed years later. All he knew at first was that he went to sleep one night, and you were there.
"... Jeonghan?"
And he'd stared at you, your name slipping from his mouth as he rushed over to you. "Are you sick again?" He frowned. "Honey, I wish I could be there to--"
"No, I... I moved. Remember?"
Right. You... You told him that you were moving for a job opportunity. It'd saddened him a little in the moment because both of you knew it'd make meeting harder, and yet all of that seemed to fade away in an instant.
"So you're...?" He didn't want to speak it aloud. What if it weren't true? What if...?
You nodded slowly. "I think... I'm closer," you said. "I'm in--"
The next few words seemed to dissolve into nothing, like his brain refused to register them. Jeonghan took your face into his hands, tears wetting his cheeks as he shook his head. Why can't it just work? Why can't their connection just let them have this now? You were closer to him. That should mean that the two of you can freely talk, and yet all he could hear was muffled words that he couldn't make out at all.
"We can't," he said, "we'll just... We'll have to find a way without saying names."
It broke his heart every time he saw you cry, and this time was worse. You nodded, though, hands coming up to hold his. "We'll find a way," you said. "Saturdays. I'll... I'll wait for you somewhere." Another name became muffled when you spoke it aloud, and you loudly swore as you broke away from him. "Coffee," you said, turning to him. "I'll... I'll always go to the same place near--" Again, your voice cut out. "Fuck--Just start looking, and--and we'll figure it out if it doesn't work."
"You'll stay there?" He watched you carefully. "All day?"
An eager nod, motivated by how close the two of you were now. "All day. Every Saturday until I find you."
And so it began.
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Jeonghan... truly underestimated how many coffee places existed in this fucking city. But he went out every Saturday morning and spent hours upon hours searching for you. For months, that search came up empty. Joshua had offered to help, but Jeonghan turned both he and Seungcheol (and everyone, for that matter) down. He needed to find you himself. Maybe it was hubris, or maybe it was because he wanted to be the first one to meet you... He wasn't exactly sure anymore. A mix of both, perhaps. You could meet his friends in time, but Jeonghan didn't want anyone else to see you in person before he did. He'd known you this long. He'd been with you this long. He needed to be the first one to see you.
Three months ago, Chan met his soulmate. How much longer would it take for Jeonghan to find you? He approached the last place on his list for today, night having already fallen upon him. Maybe he'd change places with you, and have you running around looking for him. He'd try to pick somewhere more niche, though, just to make it easier on you. Jeonghan tucked his hands into his jacket pocket, staring down at his phone as he followed the directions to this place. It was a little out of the way, but maybe if he made it in time, he'd be able to swing by the bigger place not far from there. It closed earlier, sure, but it usually had way more foot traffic from what he could tell.
The thought that had been haunting him hit him again: would you even like him when you saw him in person? It'd been something stupid that popped into his head one Saturday a month ago, but it still shook him a little more than he expected. He'd seen you in so, so many dreams; he'd been with you, dating you, and yet it felt like there was a degree of separation. Those were his dreams with you, this was the real world where other people would get in the way. Where he couldn't just go to that cafe in your hometown with you, giggling about a silly joke one of you cracked, without having to travel to get there. He'd confessed his fears to Joshua once day, and Joshua had just stared at him.
"But you're in love with them."
"I know, but what if they don't love me once they see me?" Jeonghan had been curled up on Joshua's couch that night, a blanket draped around him. He toyed with the edge of it, fingers curling around the plush material. "It's different, I think."
Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh my god. You're so stupid."
"Hey--"
"Jeonghan." Joshua turned, entirely serious as he leaned in, "They love you, dumbass. I know your dreams are magical or whatever, but they still like being with you. You told me they trust you enough to cry on you and tell you about how bad work was, or about friend troubles, or enough to just say they need to cry because of stress. If things change when they see you, they weren't really in love with you. Dreams are whatever--you're still you."
Jeonghan had said nothing at first, letting the words sink in. Then when he looked up, he saw Joshua looking off into the distance, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "They're singing, aren't they?"
Joshua cracked a smile. Jeonghan knew him well enough. "It's quiet," he said, "but... Yeah. They are."
Jeonghan knew that while Joshua was the one who sang more often in his relationship, he truly loved whenever his soulmate would sing. He knew that Joshua had told them that, and they chose to indulge him in it a little more often. Jeonghan should take a video or a picture of this and send it to them: you broke your soulmate, btw, come get him. Then again... Joshua definitely had ammunition of his own. Videos of times where Jeonghan had woken up in a pleasant mood because he'd gone on a date with you yet again, always ending with Joshua telling the camera that he was ready for the two of you to meet already.
At the end of the street on the left. Jeonghan had begun to hurry at this point, already feeling his heart sinking in his chest. No. No, no, no, fuck--The lights were out, and no one was inside despite the website saying that this place stayed open for another two hours. There had been a piece of paper taped up on a window that said something about one of the coffee machines breaking down and causing a big enough mess that they'd have to close for the night. Shit. What if this had been the one? What if you were inside when the coffee machine broke, spraying hot coffee everywhere? What if you had been burned? Jeonghan wanted to kick himself for not getting here sooner, but he looked at the other shop that closed in less than ten minutes. Fuck. Next Saturday for sure. Maybe that would be the one.
He did what he always did. He called Joshua, and told him that, yet again, he had failed to find you.
"Aw. I'm sorry, dude," Joshua had said. "Are you sure you don't want us to help out?"
Before Jeonghan could respond, Seungcheol had spoken up, "We will! Just tell us where to go, and we'll find them. There's too many places for you to do it on your own. Stop being stubborn about this."
Jeonghan chuckled softly, glad that he had friends who cared so deeply about him. "No, it's fine. We'll find each other soon. I can feel it. We'll talk about it tonight and see if they can give me any details."
Of course, you hadn't before. Whatever was keeping the two of you from finding each other made sure of that. But they didn't need to know how many failed attempts Jeonghan had made at this point.
"Are you sure?" Seungcheol sighed. "I just don't want you to feel like you need to do this alone. We're all here for you. If you say the word to Seungkwan--"
Another warm chuckle. "He'll storm every shop himself," Jeonghan said. "That's why I haven't told anyone else yet. You know Mingyu would go out searching without telling any of us."
"You sound exhausted," Joshua spoke up after a moment. "Want one of us to pick you up?"
"I'll just take the bus. I think I'll plan my next move during the ride." Jeonghan tucked his other hand back into his pocket. He needed the time to lick his wounds and pick himself back up, too. "Maybe... I'll figure out a new plan."
"Just call me if you change your mind," Seungcheol said. "Get home safely."
"I will," Jeonghan said, and ended the call. He shoved his phone into his pocket, and let out a sigh.
Okay. Another failed Saturday. Jeonghan wouldn't lose hope, though: he'd find you soon enough. It wouldn't be as soon as he planned, but he would find you, and he would kiss you, and he'd never let anything tear the two of you apart like this ever again. Even with work trips and vacations and whatnot, Jeonghan would be happy to see your face again outside of his dreams.
The bus had slowed to a stop, and Jeonghan climbed on before taking a seat near the back. He leaned against the window, watching the city crawl by once the bus had lurched forward again. If the two of you could pick something less common, maybe you'd find one another sooner. He leaned against the window, watching the city crawl by as his eyelids began to droop. Next Saturday. He hugged himself tighter. Next Saturday would be the day. He had to find you then. Or maybe it was time to let his friends help him find you. What was the point of being stubborn about it all when he was taking away days he could be falling in love with you all over again?
"Hello...?"
He must have dozed off on the bus again, the sound of your voice making him open his eyes.
"Hey, sorry to bother you, but when's your stop?"
You must have been teasing him again. "Wherever you want it to be," he said, the words rolling off his tongue as easily as they always do. It was always easy to say such things to you. He looked up, and pauses, mind fuzzy for a moment. "Sorry, I thought you were my..."
And then it's clear. There you stood in front of him, one hand gripping the seat next to him and the other on the one in front of it. Your eyes widened as realization hit you, and Jeonghan was already rising out of his seat. The bus driver yelled something back at the two of you, but Jeonghan wasn't listening. And it seemed like you weren't, either.
"Good morning, Hannie," you teased lightly, already smiling at him.
Jeonghan only leaned in, thrilled that you closed the distance between the two of you. He cupped your face in his hands, nose brushing against yours as he tasted something sweet on your lips. Tea, he thought, or maybe some sort of dessert involving matcha or something. Your body was warm underneath his touch and so much more real than he'd ever dreamed of. But what about you? Did he live up to your dreams?
"I love you," he said softly when he drew back. Emotions surged in his chest: relief, joy, love. The freedom of no longer having to search for you crashed over him in waves, and he felt himself tear up. He roughly wiped his face on his sleeve, sniffling as he tried to hold back now. This wasn't how he wanted either of you to remember your first meeting, with him about to sob.
Yet all it took was seeing you cry for him to break, pulling you into his arms as he held you tight. The bus driver yelled back again, and he just reached back frantically, pressing the button to signal for the two of you to get off as soon as you could. And he left with you, hand in hand, as the two of you stepped out underneath the stars, already falling in love with one another all over again.
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny
411 notes · View notes
glassartpeasants · 3 months
Text
How to Love .02
Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law x F!Reader
Warnings: Angst, self-esteem issues, fluff, semi slow-burn, author writing this at 4am in the morning
A/N: here ya'll go. Sorry if i missed some @ there's just a lot of ya'll
prologue pt.1 pt.2 pt.3
~~~
Laying on the couch in Law’s apartment, you couldn’t help but constantly stare at the clock. Watching time go by slowly felt like hell, but there was nothing else you could do. Nothing you had the energy to do. With it being 2:03 am, the whole city was dead, and everyone snuggled in their beds. Dreaming peacefully. Yet here you were, awake and unable to have anything other than nightmares.
Every single night since you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend, the same nightmare happens. A replay of what you walked into when you went to confront them. You’d wake up from the nightmare, and when you’d go back to sleep, you would be right back into the nightmare. It was almost mentally easier to just stay awake than go to sleep.
But the times when you wanted to sleep, you just couldn’t. You’ve gotten so used to Eustass’s heartbeat as a lullaby to help you sleep that now it's almost impossible to sleep without it. Or how sometimes he’d run his fingers through your hair when he thought you were asleep. Just the small things had such an effect on you that even after knowing what he’d done, it infuriated you.
How dare your heart demand his presence despite it being broken?
You don’t know if Eustass has tried to call or text you. As soon as you entered Law’s car, you blocked him on everything you could think of. It took everything inside you not to leave him unblocked on one thing, just to see what he had to say. Being so in love with him that even seeing the color red reminds you of him. His lipstick and the stains it’d leave behind when he kissed you.  His beautiful red hair and how it was soft to the touch haunted your fingertips. The image of him laying his head on your chest, sleeping as you combed through his hair after a long day.
Your vision grew blurry as tears started to slip from your eyes. Pain and heartbreak fill each tear as it burns along your skin. Curling up in a ball the nest you could, you try your best to provide yourself comfort. You had no one’s shoulder to cry on. The two most influential people in your life betrayed you and left you all alone. You didn’t want to bother Law since he was suffering, too, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. He already has so much on his plate, working nonstop, the initial betrayal of (.....), and no doubt other things he hasn’t expressed or that you’ve observed. He’s already been kind enough to let you stay at his apartment for a bit until you find someplace. You didn’t want to be even more of a burden by asking him to listen to you sob.
The whole situation was a mess. Never in your life have you felt more alone than you do now. You lay on a friend's couch, trying not to sob and wake them up. You couldn’t turn on the TV to watch something because Law was sleeping, and from what (.....) told you before all this happened, he was a light sleeper. Probably, even closing the refrigerator door would wake him up.
A memory from when you and Eustass would get midnight snacks before watching some sort of show. When grabbing a drink of water, you’d only come back and see him pouting like a child when he awoke to see you not in his arms. You used to love times like those. He was always so cuddly during those times.
“Why the long face, babe?” Setting a foot back into your room after grabbing some water, you return to see your lover with his arms crossed as he sits up to look at you.
“You're not in bed.”
“Yeah, 'cause I was getting water. Am I not allowed to be thirsty?” Giggles leave your lips as you make your way over to your side of the bed. Placing the water glass on your nightstand, you snuggled back under the covers. Not even seconds pass before you feel two hands grab your waist and pull you closer to the man beside you. Your body is wholly trapped as Eustass wraps his arms around you. Burying his face on the top of your head, you hear him let out a contempt sigh.
“I love it when you're all cuddly. It makes me feel so safe when you're next to me.” You feel him placing kisses on your head before making you face up so he can kiss your lips. You can still see the pink on his pale, freckled skin even in the dark. Placing your hands on his cheeks, you rub his cheekbones and look into his eyes. 
“So glad you never gave up, and I’m so glad I said yes.  I’ve never been happier.” As he groans in embarrassment, you begin to plant kisses all over Eustass's face.
“What are you doing?”
“Kissing the places the angels missed. You need to be covered in kisses 'cause I said so.” Eustass hides his face in your neck before kissing it. 
“I love you.” While quiet, you can still hear his confession as he whispers against your skin. 
“Love you more.” You heard him say no before repeating your words. Fake scoffing, you smile as you play his game.
The sound of your sniffling broke through your flashback as reality came back with a punch. Instead of laying in bed with two strong arms wrapped around you, you were sleeping on a couch with your pillow drenched in tears. The roll of toilet paper you stole in place of tissues was almost gone, as the garbage was filled to the brim. Suddenly, the familiar jingle of Bepo’s collar rang through your ears.
“Meow…” Through the darkness, you can see his beautiful while fur rubbing against the couch. You watch him lift his body so his paws are on the cushions before fully jumping onto the couch. The feeling of him lying by your chest made you sniffle yet smile. Moving your arm, you go to pet the animal lying peacefully beside you.
“Guess you know exactly when someone needs you, huh?” The sound of his purring made a shaky sigh leave your lips. The vibrations against your chest calmed you down slightly. But while the harsh tears subsided, the burning pain in your heart stayed the same.
“Why wasn’t I good enough? I did everything right. Is there something wrong with me?” Racking your brain, you struggle to think about Eustass without having the gnawing urge to sob into your pillow.
“Am I ugly? Did he just get sick of me? I don’t understand.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you feel your fingers twitch. 
“I wanted to marry him Bepo. I imagined the rest of my life with him. I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved him.” As the confession left your lips, the sound of Law’s bedroom door opening made you shut up altogether. Looking at the clock, you see that it’s precisely 4:30am. How time went by so quickly from your sobbing is unknown to you. Quick to rub your eyes, you listen carefully to Law’s footsteps approaching the living room. Despite your heart telling you to stay down and keep quiet, you ignored it and carefully moved your body up to see Law staring at you.
“Jesus Law! I heard you coming, and you still scared the shit outta me!” You hear him let out a small chuckle in the darkness.
“Why are you awake?” Pulling yourself up more, you try to sit up without kicking Bepo off the couch.
When you finally get a better look at Law, your heart skips a beat. There was Law, standing in front of an open window. The moonlight gave him a slight glow. Almost as if he were an angel. You could see a ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’ themed shirt hugging his frame along with grey sweatpants. The sound of your heart beating faster made you come back to the present.
“Oh! Well, I guess I’m just so used to sleeping beside someone that sleeping alone is hard. That and some other things.”
“Ah…”
“Also, I didn’t know you liked ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’!” Law’s face goes into shock as he looks down and remembers the shirt he wore to bed. A light pink dusted his cheeks, but he was thankful it was just dark enough for you not to see it.
“Oh…yeah.”
“What’s your favorite comic they’ve made? Mines volume 106.”
“You read the comics?”
“Of course! I have the whole collection in that storage garage down the street. It’s in there along with everything else I’ve gathered from my old apartment.”
“I guess my favorite is Volume 200. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, though.”
While you and Law hung out a lot during that semester in college, he wouldn’t have called you a close friend. A friend but not close enough for him to let you stay on his couch. So when he said that you could stay at his apartment the day everything happened, it shocked him when it slipped from his mouth. But now here, a week later, he’s glad he did. While neither of you spoke about the whole situation that had you sleeping on his couch in the first place, knowing he wasn’t totally alone was nice.
Especially when the person liked Sora just as much as he did.
“Do you work today? Is that why you're up so early?”
“Just couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah. Well, do you want to watch a movie? Like a Sora movie? I’m sure we can find one on Netflix or Hulu. We can even make popcorn so we can take our mind off, you know what.” Law stayed silent as he pondered your offer. Even though he’s not really a movie guy, he’s seen every Sora movie at least twice.
“Okay. But I don’t have any popcorn. I don’t like how it gets stuck in my teeth.”
“That’s fine! I think I bought some trail mix if that’s more to your liking. So which movie did you wanna watch? From what I remember, there's Sora: Warrior of the Sea vs. The Dark Depths. Sora-” Law fades out your voice as he feels a spark of joy when he hears you name off all the movies without missing a beat. A smile on your face the entire time you talked about it.
Somehow, even after catching Eustass cheating on you with your best friend, you still had a smile on your face. Yet, he could see the pain behind your eyes if he looked hard enough.
“The third one sounds fine.” Smiling at him, you pat the spot next to you on the couch.
“You need to tell me where you got that shirt. I want one.” Law watches you log into your Hulu account before searching for the movie. 
Sitting down, Law relaxes on the cushion next to you. You grab one of the many blankets you have and hand him one. The warmth of the blanket held from being so close to you slightly soothes Law’s aching heart, if only for a bit.
“Alright! Movie on!” Law catches you, placing the remote between you before you turn your back to him.
“Can’t forget about my little marshmallow Bepo!” Law watched you grab Bepo and hold him close before giving him a little kiss.
“Since when did you two become so close?”
“Since he let me bawl into his fur. What? Jealous?” Law rolled his eyes, seeing you smirk.
“Not long ago, you said he needed a diet.”
“I still stand by that. Now, let’s appreciate the beauty of our favorite hero!” The situation Law found himself in was something he could’ve never foreseen. (.....) wasn’t interested much in Sora, so he never watched them with her or asked her to. But now, here you were with a big smile on your face as you watched his favorite movie with him, an obvious excitement coursing through your body as you hyped up the movie to the cat in your arms.
While Law wasn’t a movie guy, he thought a movie every now and then wouldn’t be so bad as long as it was with you.
~~~
“Thanks for coming to Skypeia Cafe! Have a good day!” Handing the freshly made latte to the lady on the other side of the counter, you receive a wave and a smile before she leaves. As soon as the door closes, you let out a heavy breath. The rush has finally gone down, and it feels like you can finally think straight.
“Don’t pass out on us now (Y/N). We still have the after-school rush.” Rubbing your eyes, you lean against the counter before turning your head to see who’s talking to you.
“Oh. It’s you, Killer. Haha, don’t remind me of it. The worst rush of the day.”
While it was awkward, you managed to get past the unease of working with your ex-boyfriend's best friend. It wasn’t fair to be mean to a man who had nothing to do with your ex-boyfriend's infidelity. Plus, he was pretty funny when he wanted to be.
You’ve known him for much longer before dating Eustass. The two of you have been co-workers from the start of college till now. While this was your only job, Killer worked at the cafe for some extra cash, but his real job was working at the mechanic’s shop about half a mile from your old place. He worked there with Eustass when he wasn’t at the cafe.
He didn’t talk much before Eustass properly introduced the two of you, but he got more talkative as time went on. It was nice talking to him despite everything that’s been going on outside of work—a breath of fresh air.
“How you holding up?”
“Best as I can. Thankful I have a place to stay until I can find another place to live that I can afford.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. Have you heard from Eustass?”
“No. I have him blocked on everything. Have for awhile now.”
“That’s good. You should keep it that way.” An itch formed in your head because of the way Killer responded to you. While it could just be normal advice, you felt like there was more to it.
“Hmm? Is he doing something stupid?”
“You're coping much better than he is, let’s just say.” Killer's words made your brows furrow as you became more dedicated to figuring out what he meant. 
“What? What is he doing?” You hear him suck air through his teeth from behind his mask, and it has unease filling your gut.
“I’m guessing you’ve blocked him on snap too?”
“What is he doing, Killer?” Killer sighs before grabbing his phone from his pocket. You watch him tap on the screen before letting you see the photos on Eustass’s snap story. Looking down at it, you feel your mouth drop as you stare at it closely. 
While you’ve been crying out your soul, that bastard was out partying. It was obvious by the way the picture showed him sucking on a random girl’s face. And another one of him with a girl on his lap. Squinting your eyes, your disturbed to see (.....) being the one sitting on his lap. Only then is when you feel a tear drop onto your hand.
“That bastard, I can’t believe him. It hasn’t even been a full month, and he’s acting like I was some fling. Did I really mean that little to him?” Standing up from the counter, you excuse yourself to the backroom so you can calm down.
“Sorry (Y/N), are you okay?”
“I guess it’s my own fault. I wanted to see the pictures, and I took the risk. It just still hurts—hurts a lot.” You laugh pathetically at your final words, trying to cheer yourself up. 
“You know what? Let’s just continue working and pretend this never happened. Please?” Seeing Killer give you a nod, you let out a relieved sigh. Rubbing the tears from your eyes, you get ready to go back and do your job—just on time, too, as a familiar face walks through the door.
“Law! What a surprise! What brings you here? I thought you worked today.” Seeing your roommate’s face immediately brightened up your mood. You’d never seen him at the cafe before while you were working.
“They were Overstaffed, so they sent me home. I thought I’d come say hi.” Walking up to the counter, you see him looking at the board.
“Well, I appreciate your coming to see me. I just finished with the rush, so take your time.”
“Never been here before. Got any suggestions?”
“My favorite personally is (----), but the refresher Citrus Sunrise is a popular one. I’ve also noticed a lot of doctors like the Vanilla Cloud Cold Brew.”
“Cold brew? And what’s with all the sky names?”
“Well, the theme at the cafe is basically the multiple phases of the sky. But the cold brew is coffee that makes you see doubles. It keeps a person awake for much longer.”
“I’ll get that then.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escapes your throat when he orders.
“Should’ve bet money on it. Might have been a dollar richer.” The chuckle that left Law’s lips made a bigger smile appear on your face. You were thankful that there was a little mercy in the world.
“Ah, Law, haven’t seen you since college, it feels like.”
“Probably. I’ve been busy. How’s life going for you?”
“Good. What about you? How’s doctor life?”
“As good as it can be when the person sleeping on your couch snores.” Killer watches you whip your head around with an offended look on your face.
“I do not snore! Never have I in my life!” A content chuckle comes out from behind Killer's mask as he watches you and Law playfully bicker. It hits him that his place must be where you're staying. He supposes it makes sense. If what Eustass told him was true, then you both would be struggling with your partner's affair.
Before Law came through the cafe doors, he worried about how you were taking the breakout behind closed doors. But watching you and Law interact with one another let him know that you’ll be doing just fine, which might leave a bad taste in someone else's mouth.
~~~
“She’s still staying with Law?! That fucking-AH!” Killer watched as Eustass kicked a lone tire on the ground. It bounced away from them before hitting another tire and stopping. He ran his fingers through his red hair before hitting the wall with the side of his fist. The concrete bricks that made up the mechanic shop's wall stayed put even with how much force Eustass put into the hit.
“Eustass, you have to understand how you sound right now-”
“I know how I sound! Alright?!... I know how I sound.” His voice trails off as he stares at the ground. The burning in his heart feels wrong, as he knows he has no one to blame but himself.
He flew too close to the sun and let his ego get the best of him. Everything he could ever want was in his hands, and yet he still wasn’t satisfied, so he threw it all on the line simply for a circumstantial thrill. And the consequences came crashing all around him like an earthquake.
When you busted open that door, Eustass knew that no amount of bargaining would have you staying to talk to him that day. The heartbroken look on your face continues to haunt him every night. Not a day goes by where he didn’t feel disgust for himself after being the reason tears ran down your face. 
If he could take it back just to have you in his arms again, he’d crawl out from hell itself.
“She’s also seen those party pictures from last Saturday.”
“What?! How’d she see them?!”
“A co-worker showed her. Apparently, she was at the party.” Eustass puts his face in his hands.
“Can’t even drink away my problems without having new ones show up.” Rubbing his face, Eustass lets out a sigh.
“I had it all. Had the girl, the job, all the works, and I managed to fuck it up. Now, no matter what I do, I’ll never get to wake up next to her.”
“If you even want her to look at you in a way that’s not disgust, I suggest you block (.....) if you haven’t already.” Killer watches Eustass sit down on some stacked tires before putting his head in his hands.
“I did that the day (Y/N) found out. Yet somehow, she keeps coming back into my life no matter where I go!”
“There’s always a retraining order?”
“It’s not that bad. It's just extremely aggravating.” The two men remained silent before Killer spoke.
“The best advice I can offer you is get your shit together before even making an attempt on contacting or acting civil with (Y/N).”
“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”
~~~
When you got home from work, you took a nap and a shower, then decided to go for a walk around Law’s neighborhood. You wanted to get some fresh air and check out some new places. There was a thrift store nearby that you really wanted to check out, so you grabbed your wallet/purse and put on your shoes. Yet before you walked out the door, you called out to Law.
“Hey, Law?” A few sounds of movement come from his bedroom direction before he pops out from behind the wall.
“Something wrong?”
“Oh, nothing’s wrong! I just wondered if you wanted to go thrift shopping with me. We could just hang out, ya know?”
Hearing your offer, Law originally wanted to say no. He wasn’t much of a people person, and going out willingly, which didn’t involve working or getting groceries, was usually a no-go for him. But he supposed it’d be fine. Just for today, to go out.
“Okay.” As soon as the words left his lips, he watched your smile grow and couldn’t help but smile slightly himself. Walking over to the door, he grabs his shoes and coat.
“Meow!” The sound of Bepo’s meow makes the two of you turn your heads.
“Bepo!” Law watched as you picked up his cat and started kissing him. Bepo’s loud purring had you holding him even closer. 
“I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t take you with us. Your dad and I are going out, and we can’t take you with us. I promise to get you something, though!” Giving Bepo one final kiss to his head, you carefully put him down before making movements to leave.
“Say goodbye, Law! Don’t make him sad!” Your teasing made him roll his eyes before he scratched Bepo’s ears and said goodbye as well.
~~~
“Hmm. What do you think about this? I think it’s kinda cute!”
“Do you want my honest opinion?”
“Yes, I do! I think it’d look cute at the apartment!”
“It’s ridiculous. We have a perfectly good honey container at home, which is the bottle it came in.”
“But it’s so cute! I’m trying to liven up the place! Give it a woman’s touch.”
“Our place is fine.” Law’s eyes widen when he realizes what he said. Looking over to see if you caught his slip-up, he is grateful when he sees you looking at another knickknack on the shelf. His heart feels like it is going to jump from his chest. Despite all the chatter the thrift store holds, all he can hear is his own heart.
“Oh my gosh, Law, look! It’s a Sora: Warrior of the Sea mug! We have to get it!” Grabbing the mug, you hold it by its handle and pretend to drink out of it.
“Okay, I found my perfect find. Let’s go.” Just as you turn around, your face to face with a woman with a slight scowl on her face.
“Jeez! You scared me! Can I help you, ma’am?”
“Yes, actually. You see, my son loves Sora. So I was gonna buy him that mug for his tenth birthday. I just needed cash to buy it.”
“But this place takes cards?-”
“So I need you to hand it over so I can give my son his birthday present.” The lady reaches out to grab the mug from your hand, but you pull it away before she can.
“Woah, hey! Sorry, lady, but it’s mine now. It was on the shelf, so that means it’s up for grabs. You could’ve asked them to hold it. Finders keepers.” Was it mean? Perhaps, but you already had your mind set on this mug, and you couldn’t go home without it.
“You're really gonna ruin a child’s birthday over some stupid cup?!”
“First of all, it’s a mug. Second, yes, I am. It’s for someone I care about. And if it’s so stupid, go buy it on Amazon or buy him that Spider-Man cup behind us.” Too busy trying to leave the store and pay, you encase your hand in Law’s and start to drag him away from the lady.
“You really think there’s a child? I don’t think so. I think she wants it for herself.” You start ranting and ignore how your hand is still holding Law’s. Yet Law was overheating with how fast his heart was beating. The warmth of of your hand against his cold one felt unfamiliar, but it was more than welcomed. 
“2.99, please.” The sound of the cash register opening brought Law out of his trance. Once he was back to reality, he also noticed that your hand was no longer in his. Even though it was only in there for a second, the warmth was addicting. While his own hands were freezing, the calming feeling of your fingers intertwined with his own made a light pink spread across his face.
“Thanks, and have a good day.”
“You too! Okay, we can go now.” Motioning Law to fall you, you both head out of the thrift shop. The sun shone down on the two of you as you admired the Sora cup.
“Are you happy with your purchase?” Lay playfully comments when he sees you smile.
“Very, Now here!” Turning your body, you face Law and hold out the mug to him. Your whole face felt like it was on fire, but you pushed through it.
“What?”
“Here! I bought it for you…” With wide eyes, Law looks at you before looking down at the mug. Carefully, he grabs it from your hands and examines it. His heart pounded against his ribs and felt as if it was going to break free.
“For me?”
“Yeah. You’ve been so kind to me during this rough patch that I need to repay you. I know you're probably tired of me thanking you so much, but you really are my knight in shining armor at this time. Expect more gifts in the future, haha.” Putting your hands to your sides, you begin to fiddle with the bottom of your shirt. You watch Law look at the mug in shock before going back to his usual stoic demeanor.
“Thank you. And it’s fine.” There was a seconds silence before you spoke up.
“Well, where should we go next?”
“Going home sounds nice.” Law couldn’t help but roll his eyes at your pout.
“I promised Bepo I’d get him something! I can’t go home empty-handed!”
“I thought you said he needed a diet.”
“He does! I was gonna give him a little toy or perhaps a cat bed!”
“Cats never sleep in cat beds. They rather sleep on top of the fridge than in a bed.”
“Fine! Maybe some clothes.”
“You're not dressing up my cat.”
“I don’t know. Better keep an eye out, Law.” You nudge Law with a smile on your face. Hanging out with him made all the pain disappear, as his presence was calming and gave you hope that you’d be able to get through it all—perhaps even together. 
~~~
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biblio-smia · 7 months
Text
part one | part two | part three
there's a feeling of dread in mike's stomach the second he wakes up. then, he remembers last night and his chest starts aching, too.
mike forces himself not to dwell on it. not on the disappointment in your eyes. not on the way you'd admitted you'd loved him (was it too late to admit he loved you, too?). not on how mike had ruined the one good thing he had.
mike rubs his eyes, blurry vision refocusing until the Nebraskan trees on his ceiling are clear once again.
mike feels more sluggish than usual as he throws clothes on and struggles to tie his tie, almost like he's still dreaming. he catches the crookedness of his tie in a mirror and imagines it's your fingers instead of his readjusting it.
abby is especially cold to him this morning, clearly not worried about mike realizing she had overheard last night's argument.
mike takes it, not even upset when abby calls him a jerk and throws a plushie at him.
he knows it's his fault. he knows he's been living in his own bubble without space for anyone else and he knows you are not going to come back without a little effort from him first; but the idea of telling you what's really going on is so terrifying mike would almost rather you never speak to him again.
it's really quite pathetic, how helpless mike is when, realistically, all it'd take is a phone call. but mike can't even bear the thought of hearing your voice confirm everything negative he's ever thought about himself.
so mike puts it off.
as soon as he gets this done. as soon as he figures out who kidnapped his brother.
then everything can go back to how it was.
though that uneasiness really never leaves mike that day. not as abby angrily huffs as she exits the car, not as mike shares this dream theory with his co-worker Jeremy, and especially not as mike sees an older man forcing a young boy along.
really, mike didn't even remember tackling the man and beating his face in.
but mike must deal with the consequences.
he is home early and abby has learned not to ask why. she has long since caught on to mike's patterned behaviors, though her childish mind does not quite grasp how it all could affect her. but abby does know that she misses you, wishing that stupid mike would just pick up the phone and call you.
max is her babysitter now. she's nice and she lets abby sit and draw in her room, but she's not you.
abby is on a hunger strike again, one that only you could ever seem to get her off of. mike tries one of your tricks, telling abby she'll never get to ride any adult rides at amusement parks, but she does not give in. at least he's sure they're related. mike can only hope abby's anger at him will mellow out - she has not been this difficult since before you and mike started dating and he has forgotten how to wrangle her.
the next day is better - up until the moment mike is handed a stack of papers asking him to give abby up.
a part of him considers it. who the hell was mike to raise abby? he couldn't maintain a job or relationship. abby has barely spoken to him recently (though mike wonders how much of that has been his own fault) and there have been multiple times throughout the years where mike thinks abby might truly hate him.
but then dr. lillian reminds him that children communicate through pictures and mike almost blurts out your name when she asks who's at the center of all of abby's drawings. and then it dawns on mike that, even before you, it's been mike. it's always been mike and now he is forced to think about how deeply abby loves him, pushing out the voice that tells mike this is impossible.
at home, mike sits in front of the phone and considers calling you. he still half-expects you to come in through the front door sometimes, smile bright and arms warm as you hug him from behind, too impatient for mike to stand and properly greet you. mike can almost feel your fingers on his shoulders and your kisses on his temple - and then he remembers he's alone.
mike shakes the thoughts, though he lets himself imagine your reaction to aunt jane's request. you'd say no, god, you'd rip up the papers, an anger on your face that mike knows isn't directed at him. you'd grab his hands and promise you'll find a way to win.
yeah, you'd be there, right by his side.
as if on cue, abby pipes up suddenly, her attention off the television and on mike and the phone in front of him. "are you finally gonna call?"
"what?" mike asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion until abby says your name like you're the only person mike should be calling.
"what? no, abby."
"why not?" abby cries, her frustration with mike beginning to return.
"because," mike stammers. "because it's complicated."
abby rolls her eyes. mike sighs and picks up the phone. he doesn't dial your number (that he knows by heart), not quite ready to let you see him while he's so low. instead, he takes a small white business card out of his pocket and dials steve raglan's number.
yes, mike thinks as he looks at abby, he has had a change of heart.
it's been three days since you've seen or heard from mike. there's a certain kind of disappointment that constricts around your throat, making it hard to breathe when you think about it too much. you hadn't explicitly broken up with mike, but you'd given him a choice that he still hadn't acted on. were you too harsh? had trying to pry your way in been a mistake?
no. you weren't happy with how mike had been acting and you had to let it out eventually before it hurt the two of you even more.
but god, why was it so hard for him to just pick up the phone and call you? all he had to do was say i'm sorry. at this point, you'd take just that. maybe if he saw you...
so you make a trip to the mall after work, but nerves start to set in as you drive and your confidence starts to falter. maybe you won't go up to him, but maybe you could just get a glance...
you've been curious to see how he's doing, anyway. you know mike can survive without you but your anxiety won't quit turning your stomach into knots until you see that he's okay.
you don’t spot mike. but your eyes do land on jeremy, who you’d met a few times when dropping things off that mike had forgotten (like his uniform shirt).
thankfully, the security guard spots you first, sending you a friendly wave that you return. he isn’t really expecting you to walk over, especially now that mike’s gone, but he doesn’t really mind.
but then you ask about mike and jeremy’s expression quickly becomes confused.
“mike got, uh… let go. two days ago.”
"let go?" you don't bother hiding the confusion on your face. if you had known, you wouldn't have been here.
"yeah... didn't he tell you? that's something pretty hard to hide."
"we're not... together. um, i mean, we don't live together... we argued. it's complicated."
jeremy smiles understandingly, a little amused.
"well, i didn't know him for long, but i know he was crazy about you. i mean, i thought he was a real dick until you stopped by and i saw how he acted around you. i mean, he was like a little kid with a crush," jeremy laughs, before he raises his hands defensively. "look, i don't know what happened, but he's probably beating the shit out of himself for it."
you let yourself laugh a little, your cheeks a little warm in embarrassment. "yeah, i'll keep that in mind. thanks." you turn to walk away, only getting a few steps away before another inquiry pops into your head. "do you know... if he's working somewhere else now?"
jeremy frowns as he shakes his head. "no idea. it was all kind of... messy."
you wonder what he means briefly but any chance to ask for more details is stripped as a static-y voice comes through jeremy's walkie-talkie. you decide not to bother the guard anymore, waving your goodbye and walking back to your car.
what did mike do?
that night, max enters the schmidt home to abby's screams. she stands in the doorway curiously, watching mike shut abby in her room as she takes her raincoat off.
"she's all yours." mike grumbles, heading back into his room.
though as sleep finds max on the couch with the tv playing softly in the background, she does not hear the soft padding of abby's feet sneak into the dining room. abby's small hands move the phone to a position that is more comfortable for her to dial in a number she does not know by heart, but has written on a piece of paper that has "in case of emergencies!" scrawled at the top. abby hopes you aren't asleep as the line rings, grinning when she finally hears your voice. it's been so long! abby almost squeals, but remembers she must be quiet.
"hello? who is this?" your voice rings, a little impatient.
"hi! it's me!" abby whispers loudly.
"abby? honey? is something wrong?"
"everything's wrong!" abby sighs. "mike won't take me with him to work and i have to stay here with max and i don't want to!"
you hold the phone to your chest momentarily as you sigh. no real emergency. a part of you is relieved, while another wonders how mike would feel about this. if he'd feel anything at all. (and maybe there's a part that's disappointed you don't have an excuse to see abby and mike).
"max is your new babysitter?" you're a little hurt mike would go so far as to hire someone else rather than just call you - did he really not want to see you that much?
"mhm," abby nods. "she's sleeping on the couch right now - that's why i'm whispering!"
you stifle a laugh at abby's antics, listening carefully as another voice (seemingly still half-asleep), max, asks abby who she's talking to.
"my friends," abby responds, her voice sounding a little more faraway before her attention returns to you. "i miss you," abby whines.
"i miss you, too, abs. so much." and you didn't really realize how much you did until now, an ache in your chest spreading at the sound of her sweet voice.
"can you come over? please?"
"no, abby, i don't think that's a good idea." you sigh. you really didn't want to put more pressure on mike and risk running him out for good, even if he wasn't currently at home.
"mike is a jerk!" abby groans, bringing the phone down to the floor as she lays on her stomach. "and i know he's sorry, he's just being stupid."
"hey," you warn gently. "you know he... tries his best," you sigh. "he's just not that great at talking about his feelings."
"well, he took my vest," abby tells you. "and he wouldn't let me come with him to work."
"he's going to work at this hour?"
"mhm! he works during the night now. at the abandoned pizzeria?"
"now, why would you want to go with mike there?" you laugh lightly.
abby's giggles grace your ears and your heart hurts despite your smile. "it's fun! i wanna go!"
you really can't fathom how abby manages to find a place like that appealing, shaking your head softly through the phone.
and then that other voice, max, speaks up again, less groggily this time. "abby, are you actually talking to someone?"
"no!" abby lies. "i have to go! bye!"
you don't even get the chance to wish her sweet dreams before the line goes dead, leaving you with that sad feeling in your stomach and a lump in your throat that you fear might turn into tears.
the next day, you're barely home when the phone starts to ring. you pull it off the hook quickly, remembering last night's caller.
"hello?"
your intuition was correct; abby's voice greets you on the other side of the line.
"can you come over? it's really an emergency this time!"
"abby? what's wrong?" there's worry in your voice and you're suddenly grateful you haven't even had the chance to take your shoes off.
"i can't tell you over the phone. just come quick, please?"
you don't even ask where mike is before you nod. "okay, i'll be right there. ten minutes, okay?"
you hang up the phone and practically speed to mike's.
your hands tremble slightly as you try to shove the spare key in, twisting the doorknob and shoving it open quickly.
mike's name is on the tip of your tongue before your eyes land on the man himself and abby, both crouched as the clean up spilled items from that stupid, always-stuck drawer.
"wha... what's the emergency?" your voice falters and you're beginning to think there was no real emergency after all (how could you know that the sight of a woman wanting to talk to mike constituted an emergency in abby's little head?).
mike looks at you confused and a little shocked while abby grins. she leaps up to wrap her small arms around you and you bend down to reach her height.
"abby..." you begin, but she's off before you can even finish, the soft shut of her door the only thing filling the silence between you and mike as abby disappears.
you sigh as you straighten, wondering if you should just turn around now. "she... called, said it was an emergency." you're avoiding mike's eyes, only keeping the lower half of his body in your peripheral.
mike sighs. "abby!" he calls, his hands on his hips and his head down, though he knows it's no use.
"sorry," the both of you blurt out, looking up at each other at the same time before quickly glancing away.
"no, i'm sorry," mike steps closer to you now, hands balling up the hem of his hoodie. "for... everything."
you look up at mike now and you can see that he means it.
"i'm sorry for shutting you out. i'm sorry for getting angry. i'm sorry for not calling."
you can tell his hands want so desperately to be on you and you step closer, putting your hands in his.
"i was stupid." mike pulls you closer, just now realizing how much he's missed everything about you: your touch, your scent, the way you fit so perfectly against him. the way he can never keep his hands off you, not even for a second. "and i'm so, so, sorry." mike's voice has dropped to a hushed whisper, his eyes scanning yours for any hint of forgiveness.
"okay," you begin, hands dropping to mike's waist as you pull him in for a hug. "okay," you nod, holding him so tight mike feels like he could cry.
"i'll tell you everything," mike whispers. and he does.
he thought it'd be easier, considering it was the second time he'd told the tragic story of his childhood in the span of about thirty minutes. but sitting next to you, your thumb rubbing soothing circles into the back of his hand, mike began choking up which led to you crying, too.
"you never told me," you said, voice soft.
"i know. i'm sorry."
"no, no," you shake your head. "this is... big. i understand why you don't talk about it." mike nods, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "it's a lot," you continue, wiping your own tears away. "it explains a lot."
"what do you mean?"
"why you suck at opening up."
that makes mike laugh. and there's a part of him that's mended by your words. to you, he's not difficult. not unlovable. he just... sucks at opening up.
"yeah, i guess i am pretty bad at that." mike keeps his eyes down, hands still playing with yours.
you shrug. "you're getting better."
and mike's heart soars.
he looks up at you with nothing but hearts in his eyes, his head tilting ever so slightly as he leans in closer. you meet him halfway, eyes closing once you feel mike's lips against yours again - softly, sweetly. your hands drop and find the back of his neck while mike's land on your hips, bringing you closer as you both feed the hunger you've been fighting off for days.
"finally!" abby's voice interrupts you and mike as you spring away from each other, wiping your lips with warm faces.
"you," mike points, getting out of his chair. "are in so much trouble."
abby squeals as she dodges past mike and straight into your arms, clinging on tight.
"okay, abs, what did we talk about when using the phone?" you ask, pushing a stray ringlet into place.
"that it's only for emergencies," abby recalls a little glumfully, though you're glad she doesn't bring up the little chat you two had.
"and what do you say for lying about an emergency?" mike pitches in sternly, hands on his hips.
"it was an emergency!" abby insists, turning from you to mike and back. "mike was talking to vanessa."
"vanessa?" your eyebrows raise, a little amused as you glance from abby to mike.
"what? abby, it's not even like that!" mike insists, face warm and hoping you won't get the wrong idea. "vanessa is a police officer who comes by freddy's sometimes," mike explains, partially to abby but mostly to you. you try not to giggle at mike's flustered state.
"see, abs? nothing to worry about." and really, you know there isn't. it took mike two months and a direct confession to realize you were into him; there was no way anything had happened between him and vanessa.
"so, you two are together again?" abby asks hopefully, eyes glimmering.
you glance at mike, who's hiding his face in his hands and groaning. "well, technically, we were never broken up," you tell abby, patting her face as she smiles, clearly satisfied. "good," she says. "don't." and then she's off again, back to the comfort of her room and her imaginary friends.
"are you serious?" mike's voice is clear now as his head leaves his palms. "that wasn't a breakup?"
your head tilts in confusion. "well, i never technically said the words, 'i'm breaking up with you,' so no, it wasn't a breakup. more like a break."
"what the hell? that was one of the most awful experiences of my entire life, and it wasn't even an actual breakup?"
mike is so evidently torn you can't help but laugh, standing to pull him in and catch him in a kiss.
"act right and you'll never have to experience one," you whisper in his ear.
mike nods profusely, arms wrapped around you tightly as he pulls you in again and again, lips not leaving your skin for more than a few seconds at a time.
and really, he has no idea how he's been managing to survive without you.
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OKAY OKAY... do we want a part 3 that would wrap up the rest of the movie?? (itd have more angst + flluff <3) pls let me know <3
requests for mike schmidt are open!
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