#soooooo good luck man

[pocketramblr]

fun as all the various other quirks-in-ofa manifest first are, i am now musing on a "the first power to manifest is the vestiges" au where Izuku, still functionally quirkless, is in the middle of the entrance exam when he uhhh summons seven and half ghosts who were not prior to this fully aware and/or paying attention.

[mrgladstonegander]

everytime i think abt house of the lucky gander i start shaking violently pacing back and forth exploding into 50000000 pieces. oooooogh i dont think they know how hard they were cooking. being vague and hiding his problems... aware of being watched.... the obvious shared annoyance at him between scrooge and donald... how he was showing off his luck as an attempt to make the other family members happy and comfortable but not realizing how they truly feel... how he slowly gets frustrated at his own luck and snaps at louie and a few minutes later everything's back to Normal. how he just accepts that the race is happening and there's "nothing" he can do about it......

the least fake thing about him being how much he cares about his family should have remained a core character trait bc it shows how his luck affects how he acts in a more interesting way than him NOT FUKCING REMEMBERING PEOPLS NAMES

[cornflowercanine]

oh yeah also almost forgot to post that one year ago today i moved out of utah. i went from constantly tired and 8ody Hurts Randomly All The Time and Gets New Minor Illnesses Monthly and Starting to get heart issues to like... i've only gotten sick once since i moved out. any pain i get is just from workin lots. ive gained TWENTY POUNDS(!!!) pro8a8ly more since i moved out (REALLY GOOD). i finally have irl friends :) and we go out shopping or to eat at least once a w33k, every other w33k X) literally every8ody in my store that i talk to loves me and is happy to s33 me and gives me compliments :D i kinda cant express how huge a deal it is for me to 8e a8le to Go Outside and TALK TO PEOPLE nevertheless MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM!!! 8ut god this was kinda all i ever wanted? this was like the 8aseline thing? people are just as nice as i thought they'd 8e and my parents were wrong X) i am way more lova8le than anticip8ed even if i do get confused easy and am slow at some things people still WANT me there :D i have my own money now and can do whatever i want with it and i have :) a lot... in savings and i plan to learn to drive this year and move out next year or so!

LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS EASIER WHEN YOU DONT HAVE YOUR PARENTS 8REATHING DOWN YOUR NECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY A FUCKING MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eggiesins]

Sandrock Bachelors Being Drunk

Mild NSFW so Minors DNI

My first head canon post, enjoy!

Arvio

Arvio already has no idea what inhibition is so expect his personality to intensify by 200% while his ability to actually come up with schemes drops by 200%.  He’s gonna have so many half-baked terrible ideas that he will immediately try to act upon, so be ready to keep him on a kid leash to avoid some really dumb incidents.  “Builder!  I just had the best idea for how to get more investors for By the Stairs, but we have to act fast!  I’m hopping on the next train to Atara right n- what do you mean it can wait til morning??”  Arvio already slurs his words, so drunk Arvio I could see being almost unintelligible.  Once he’s drunk enough, he’ll constantly flip back and forth between beaming over how much he loves the builder and sobbing over Fang’s most recent rejection.

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE rizz

Amirah helps at first, but clocks out of babysitting after the first hour of shenanigans.  Good luck Builder.  He’s your responsibility now.

Burgess

Sweet, sweet summer child Burgess.  He’s not much of a drinker, but would easily be peer pressured into drinking games, especially if the Builder wants him to play.  Others offer to drink for him if he wants, but Burgess insists that, as the Chief Water Inspector, his high hydration levels and position of bureaucratic authority give him a high enough tolerance to make it through the whole game.  They do not.  Sweet baby boy’s never been drunk before and has no idea how to handle it, so be ready to babysit this one too.  He’s gonna cry over how beautiful the cactus flowers are in full bloom, how Banjo jumped in his lap and started purring, and how you’re an angel from the Light sent to save Sandrock.  Keeping him hydrated is easy, but if he does throw up, he’ll never forgive himself for the wasted water.

He’s very good at listening to the Builder’s instructions and advice on sobering up, though.  Of all the drunks on this list, he’s the easiest to comfort and get to bed by far.

Drunk Burgess is a “sinner” (by his perspective) & 100% gives Pen the “you’re a bully but I forgive you” speech instead of turning the other cheek or forgiving immediately.

Ernest

It’s been a while for him.  Did he drink and party with Luna back in Atara?  100%, but since arriving at Sandrock, he’s been so busy with hyper fixating on Logan and trying to survive droughts and sandstorms, there hasn’t been much of an opportunity for him to just let loose and party.  Once he finally does, though?  Mans is writing sonnets on sonnets on sonnets.  None of them rhyme, or even make sense, but he gives them his all anyway.  “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”  “Ernest, you said that one already.”  “Did I?  I guess every time I see you, I seem to just forget everything else.”

Ernest is pretty open about flirting with the Builder normally, so when he’s drunk, expect to hear it way way more.  He’s gonna rizz up that Builder as well as his drunk brain can ‘cause he absolutely LOVES seeing them blush because of him.  He’s all talk though, well aware that when he’s drunk, neither he nor anyone else should take him seriously.  He’s just having fun!

Fang

I could see Fang going one of two ways when drunk: either he realizes he’s drunk and immediately goes to sleep regardless of location OR his walls come down and you get to see an almost completely unfiltered Fang.  When his walls come down, oh man, Arvio better watch out.  If Arvio were to try any shenanigans, Fang is definitely telling him to shut up and sit down.  He’s grumpy normally, so drunk Fang would be much more likely to express that grumpiness.  It’s not that he’s a mean drunk so much as he is just more comfortable expressing himself under the effects of liquid courage.

If he’s with the Builder, he becomes soooooo clingy and jealous.  “The feel of your touch, unforgettable.”  Yeah he’s not giving up the feel of your touch while he feels confident enough to truly demand it.  If the builder is standing, he’s right behind them with arms around their waist.  If the builder is sitting, his head is on their shoulder, hand on their thigh, glaring down other townies who get too close.  

X lowkey loves when Fang gets drunk because it means he doesn’t have to filter what he says either, not that he does it too much normally.  He definitely eggs Fang on if the kind doctor happens to be roasting someone (Arvio) like a squawking mini-hypebeast.  At the same time, X helps the builder out a lot with getting Fang to drink water and go to sleep.

He has a very low tolerance, 4 drinks max

Justice

Our favorite Sheriff and tiredest dad of all the bachelors, Justice definitely knows how to drink.  One of his best friends is the local saloon owner, so yes, Justice has a pretty high tolerance.  With that, Justice tends to be pretty mellow when he drinks, but if he’s with the builder, he’s getting flirty too.  He’s gonna lean hard into the cowboy aesthetic, with a fake tip of the hat before asking the builder to dance.  During the dance Justice is pulling the builder close enough to stand on his feet (so he doesn’t drunkenly stumble on them) & going all the way with the spins and twirls.  He’s not elegant by any means, but he is fun!  He’s giggly and having a good time (probably annoying Logan).

If the builder is a friend, he’d insist on walking them home to see them off safely before stumbling back to his house.  If the builder is more than a friend, Justice is definitely laying on the rizz  and trying to get laid down at the workshop.

[insert “hmm society” question about life here] (seriously though, why do all the civil corps members wax philosophical so often?)

Logan

We all know the yakboy only dances when he drinks, but what else will he do when drunk?  Logan has a temper, yes, but he’s also a soft gooey ball of affection with the people he cares about, and that dichotomy is on full display when he drinks.  He avoids drinking games (they’re dumb & childish & he’s a grown man, damnit), but if the Builder wants to get up to drunken shenanigans?  Oh he’s in.  

“Darlin’, are you seriously tellin’ me ya wanna go build a scarecrow that looks like death to set up outside Cooper’s house ‘n scare him when he wakes up at 4am?”  “Ye”  “What do ya need me to do?”

Surprisingly, not a horny drunk at all (fanfic writers sue me).  BUT, he is an affectionate drunk with the builder.  Kinda like Fang, he’s all about the physical affection, especially in public.  The builder is his, and he’s gonna make sure it stays that way.  When they get home, he just wants to lay in bed with the builder in a cuddly vice grip til they both fall asleep.

He definitely relies on Rambo knowing the way home, just hops up, tells the goat where to go, and halfway passes out in the saddle.  He’s definitely getting roasted for being a lightweight by Andy when he gets home.

Miguel

How else would a religious fanatic obsessed with discipline act when drunk?  Off the rails ranting & outright simping for the builder.  Full stop.  I’m not even a Miguel fan and I know this man is so down bad for the builder.  He wouldn’t even want to drink initially, until the builder challenges him to a game.  “Very well, Builder.  For the person who has done the most to promote telesis in this barren land, I can surely raise a glass or two in celebration.”

Once he’s drunk, expect a strange combination of sermon and praise for the builder (he will definitely be mortified in the morning).  But if the builder even touches him by accident, he’s already hiding a sneaky semi tenting his pants.  

“Miguel…are you hard right now?”  “Builder, it would be a sin for me to deny the truth of this situation.  *proceeds to dramatically throw his jacket off*  Take me now, body and soul.”  “I mean, sure, but…can that wait til we can get home?”  “OH…………………..yes”

The next morning, while nursing a hell of a hangover and the raw, unfiltered embarrassment of drunken mistakes, he vows to never drink again.  At least, as long as the builder doesn’t ask him to.

Owen

Honestly?  I don’t see Owen acting too differently when drunk, just a lot less anxious when interacting with the builder.  Seemingly out of nowhere, his stuttering and nervous way of speaking with the builder is gone, replaced with a more confident barkeep.

He’s wicked good at drinking games, having spent his entire life inside of a saloon.  If you think you’re winning beer pong or rage cage against Owen’s 6 foot something ass, you’re wrong.  There’s a reason Justice and Logan outright refuse to play drinking games with him, and it’s cause it always ended with someone throwing up.  Never Owen, though.  He’s got a finely tuned tolerance for alcohol and knows exactly where his sweet spot is.  

He won’t really try to initiate any sexy times with the builder, but if they start dropping hints for him?  “Justice, can you watch the bar while I step out with the builder real quick?  They need some help..um…perfecting a new recipe.”  Cue Justice’s shit-eating grin.  “Sure pardner, take as long as y’all need” with a quick wink at the couple

Pablo

Is he drunk, or has he just been pretending to drink that much?  Who knows?  Pablo’s been around, especially in Walnut Groove.  He knows how to drink and even more so, he knows how to look how to drink especially.  He’s watching the town get absolutely smashed with glee, taking stock of everything that happens, especially anything embarrassing.

He’s the one who calls at 8am the next morning when you’re hungover to hell and back and tell you, in excruciating detail, every embarrassing thing you said and did, just in case you forgot.  All in all, I think he likes to drink a little, socially of course, but he’s far more interested in getting others drunk instead of himself.

Pen

Assuming that Pen can get drunk (he is sensitive to Duvos peppers), he’s gonna be glued to whatever the nearest reflective surface is.  But what actually surprises the builder is how genuinely affectionate he becomes with them, especially if they’re not officially a thing yet.  He wants them sitting in his lap so he can wrap their skinny arms in his big arms the entire time.

When he’s not being affectionate, he’s definitely trying to spar with them, though.  For Pen, fighting is very much foreplay, and this is even more true when he’s drunk.  He would already be turned on just by the builder existing, so a drunken brawl at 2am?  He’s the hardest he's ever been the entire time, full stop.  Bro is so hard from fighting the builder he has to take care not to fall flat on his face or he might break Pen jr.  

Pen avoids getting drunk because it also makes him feel guilty, at least some part of him.  He doesn’t necessarily like deceiving the builder (Sandrock he could take or leave tbh), but he has to so he can protect the life he wants for himself.  The builder changed a lot of that for him, so he feels a lot of guilt about keeping secrets.  Don’t be surprised if drunk Pen says he needs to confess something, only to go silent for 5 straight minutes before telling them he’s just hungry.

Qi

You know that meme about the guy’s roommate who blacks out and designs an entire airplane?  That’s Qi when he drinks, but with spaceships.  How did you get him to the saloon to start drinking in the first place?  Three words: Saloon Trivia Night.  Qi is competitive, and assumes that he’s usually at the top of his respective totem pole, so when Owen starts including trivia questions about archaeology, building, agriculture, etc, Qi can get frustrated relying on his team to answer for him.  And for every round lost, that’s another drink finished.  Soon enough, he’s ranting about the uselessness of “soft sciences” and the possibilities of interstellar space travel (someone please just make out with him and shut this nerd up)  The drunker he gets, the more he only excuses the builder’s mistakes and no one else’s.

This man definitely gets hot and bothered when drunk, but has no idea what he’s feeling or what to do about it, so he usually just goes to bed.  If the builder is romancing him, though?  The builder will definitely need to initiate things, but from there a now-uninhibited Qi goes off, following any and every instinct he can that the builder will allow.  He wants to try everything with them, for science of course.  

Unsuur

Regular Unsuur is honest, if a bit stoic.  Drunk Unsuur is too honest, and still kinda stoic.  As soon as he has a thought, he’s saying it, no filter.  It doesn't matter who he is talking to or what he is saying, he’s gonna let loose with whatever he’s thinking.  “Hey Cooper, why do you talk so much?  Like, you talk a lot.  Going on and on, kind of like I am now.  Why do you do that?”

“Unsuur, are you drunk?”

“Yeah.  Oh.  Builder, can I make love to you until you’re breathless and destroyed and the only word you know is my name?  I think you’d be really beautiful like that”

“Unsuur, we’re in public! Everyone can hear you right now.”

“Oh, yeah.  We should probably go home before doing that.  Pretty sure having sex in public is a crime.”

Aside from shamelessly flirting with the builder, Unsuur would also just wax philosophical to all the town pets in some corner of the saloon.  None of the other drunks there could keep up with his train of thought, but he doesn’t let that stop him.  Now Macchiato’s third eye is open, and he’s considering joining the civil corps under Captain.

I hope you guys enjoyed the headcanons! Let me know if you want to see the bachelorettes too! Yan has dialogue in the game about "mixing yakmel milk and catnip" so if y'all want any other headcanon posts, intoxicated or otherwise, let me know!

[reminiscentsoftomorrow]

I think one of the funnier parts of replaying Bendy and the Ink Machine after I finished Bendy and the Dark Revival (I did them out of order this time for some reason) is that Henry is soooooo done with everything.

And it makes sense, the man is like 53. He just is so unresponsive and it's hysterical to me for some reason. Ink monsters and a psychopathic angel? Eh, just par for the course.

The short amount of time you see him in Bendy the Dark Revival is great too, he's just sitting on his stool and this mutant ink lady with glowing eyes turns on the light to his little fucking exhibit and asks for directions.

This pathetic wet cat of a middle aged man just says that he's not really a GPS and when she doesn't stop trying to make conversation he sighs and turns around to get his own little swell of music just in time to drop a bomb on the player. And that's pretty much it, everything else is pretty much stuff we already learned, he makes a comment about him not being human (in a kinda dark way, actually), and good luck.

The last time you see this guy is him randomly assisting you in the grand finale, complete with a motivational line. How did he get there? Did he just break out, like you were doing this in the first game why'd you go all limp dick about it? He's just so blase about everything, I adore him.

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[artful-aries]

I’m absolutely the type of person to smile and wave back at Dottore as he sails away in a boat, completely forgetting that he’s supposed to be the villain. Totally not true story no no

Short scenario please? :3

My lovely anon, here is your request finally. This was soooooo fun to write.

Content Warnings: None really, but Dottore is a little bit condescending and also thinks you’re crazy for majority of this fic

​​Prosaic Introductions - Dottore x Reader

​​​Though he is not a conventional man, or even a conventional human being for that matter, Dottore sees this as a tool for his benefit. In fact, it is an aspect that he prides himself on, not being like the rest of the weak minded fools of this world. Their eyes might as well be sewn shut for the amount of good their vision does them. The people of Teyvat are, in large, utterly pathetic and small minded, unable to see the bigger picture. Their faces blur in his mind, day after day after day, they come and go from his presence, nothing more than dust in the air to him, filling space.

​​

​​And yet, there was you, a common citizen of Snezhnaya that for some reason stood out among the rest. It was a fact that Dottore truly detested. He had no time nor purpose for this…fixation he had on you, yet thoughts of you nestled in his brain like a cockroach, multiplying in intensity and difficult to eradicate. What was it about your quotidian life that drew his attention?

​​

​​It started when he had the unfortunate luck of meeting you by happenstance. He had been running an errand for one of his experiments; a task normally assigned to his assistants, had he not experimented on and terminated them all due to their lack of basic capability. You had bumped into him on accident at a Snezhnayan market, the blithering fool you were.

​​

​​Dottore looked down at you, his expression clouded by his mask but the edge of his mouth tapered downward, the only visible sign of his displeasure. Ordinarily when people saw a Harbinger, let alone The Doctor, they made sure to make their presence scarce if they could.

​​

​​But not you.

​​

​​You blinked in surprise, as if you weren’t the one who had just run into him before smiling brightly, “Oh, sorry! My head must have been in the clouds, I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry for running into you.”

​​

​​Your demeanor was so bright and cheery, Dottore wondered if there was something wrong with you. Did you not know who he was? He doubted that very much. There wasn’t anyone in Snezhnaya who didn’t know who the Harbingers were. Perhaps this was your way of trying to deflect any wrath he might bring for running into him. Most people tried appealing to him through politeness, and you were likely no different. It was a useless gesture; he had better things to do with his time than be concerned with the apologies of ordinary people.

​​

​​“Think nothing of it,” Dottore replied quickly, not having the time or energy for this social exchange. If he had been in a bad mood, he might have been more vicious, but at the moment he simply wanted to get the supplies he needed for his research and resume his experiments.

​​

​​You clearly had other plans in mind, as you continued talking to him as though he were an acquaintance of yours, “The snow is so thick today, its a wonder how I didn’t get frostbite on the way here. What brings you out in this weather?”

​​

​​Dottore paused for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Why were you talking to him? Surely there was a reason for it, as it seemed highly unlikely that you would simply just…strike up conversation with a Harbinger on a whim. What was your goal? Did you have an ulterior motive, or did you happen to leave your sense in the clouds you had just lost yourself in?

​​

​​He blinked slowly at you behind his mask before he replied bluntly, “Gathering materials for research. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.”

​​

​​He had quickly left, ending his first encounter with you as abruptly as it had started. Yet now, weeks after the exchange he found himself thinking about it, about you, more and more. You were strange, that was for certain. Dottore wondered what it was that made you tick, what drove your actions that day. Was it for a chance at political gain? Were you somehow a spy, or perhaps you had some other plot planned, one that he could not predict. Each possibility seemed as unlikely as the next, and yet, the thing that puzzled Dottore the most was why he cared so much in the first place. What did it matter what your intentions were, he was likely not going to ever see you again.

​​

​​And yet there you were again in his line of sight today, as though you had been summoned by his mere desire to observe you closely. Dottore hadn’t regretted terminating his useless assistants, but now he was almost grateful he had done it. Having to leave his laboratory for supplies presented him with this opportunity to study you more.

​​

​​He watched from a distance as you argued with some fellow. Dottore hypothesized that he might be a jilted lover, or perhaps he was merely a friend whom you were having a dispute with, or even a complete stranger. Whatever the reason for the argument, Dottore did not care; he was far more fascinated by watching how you reacted to the stimuli. The way your brows furrowed, the downward curve of your mouth as you frowned, the faint redness reaching your cheeks out of anger, it was all useful data in determining what kind of person you were. You seemed to wear your heart in your sleeve, for better or for worse, and it was an idea that amused Dottore as he watched you argue with the man in front of you. People easy to read were easy people to manipulate, but he stood to gain nothing from expending the effort. Watching you brought him a strange sense of satisfaction that he couldn’t explain.

​​

​​Dottore was about to walk away, satisfied with the new observations he was able to make of you, but he noticed a shift in the argument, especially coming from the man. Whoever he was, he was becoming increasingly agitated with you, a fact that you seemed to pick up on as your body grew tense. Strange, so you could be perceptive of others after all, when you wanted to be. Part of Dottore wanted to sit back and watch what would unfold; if things were to escalate into a physical fight, he wanted to see what you would say, what you do. The idea was thrilling to him, having the opportunity to see you backed into a corner, to see your survival instincts take over, to see what you would look like when you were terrified. Yet, strangely enough he felt his body moving towards you despite these compulsions.

​​

​​Before he knew it, he was standing next to you and placing a hand on your shoulder, “You seem to have a knack for talking to the wrong people, don’t you?”

​​

​​Your eyes practically lit up as you looked up at him, a sight that confused Dottore. Were you…happy to see him? Considering your argument with the man in front of you, he figured that would be a valid reaction.

​​

​​“Oh, it’s you!” You breathed with relief as you broke out in a grin, “It’s nice to see you again.”

​​

​​The man you were arguing with, upon seeing you act so casually with an infamous Fatui Harbinger, scurried off without a word. Whatever your argument had been about, it was clearly no longer worth the effort to him. This made Dottore chuckle to himself slightly. So his reputation did precede him. In that case, why was it that you didn’t seem to have the same reaction as him?

​​

​​He removed his hand from your shoulder as he replied, “Most would not be so keen on seeing a Fatui Harbinger.”

​​

​​To his surprise, you didn’t flinch or sound shocked at all about him mentioning his status. That ruled out the possibility that you simply just didn’t know, and made you a far more interesting specimen in Dottore’s eyes. You simply shrugged, “Sure you have a scary, super important job, but you seem nice.”

​​

​​Dottore had been described as many things in his life, and nice was not one of them. It baffled him that you could come to such a conclusion after only seeing him twice, yet you picked up quickly on the antagonistic feelings of the man you argued with before. Truly, the depth of your perception was skewed, and it made him want to know more.

​​

​​You took his stunned silence as him expecting something, and cleared your throat as you introduced yourself, “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to have you engage in conversation this time.”

​​

​​(Y/N). What an incredibly ordinary name, contradictory to the constant perplexity you threw him into. You were odd, and more and more Dottore found himself wanting to analyze you, to find the root of your oddities and mannerisms.

​​

​​You nudged him, an action that took him by surprise as he blinked at you- not that you could tell behind his mask. “Well? Are you going to introduce yourself?”

​​

​​Dottore let out a small chuckle at your insistence, what was left for him to introduce? Everyone in Snezhnaya knew who he was, moreover, what he was capable of. Still, he humored you as he replied, “You may call me Dottore, if it pleases you.”

​​

​​Your face lit up, clearly satisfied with his answer, “Thanks for helping me, Dottore. That guy was a jerk,” You seemed to get nervous for a moment as you looked down at your feet, shuffling them in the snow before looking back up to ask him, “Can I count on seeing you around more often?”

​​

​​You looked almost…hopeful, like you wanted to see him more. How strange you were, almost insisting on seeing a man who you knew wrought much turmoil and bloodshed as much for his own purposes as well as the Tsaritsa’s. Clearly, your psyche was different from most, if not altogether damaged. It was fascinating to him that he couldn’t predict what you would say or do. You seemed to operate outside most conventions, much like himself.

​​

​​“Perhaps,” Dottore finally answered, but chose not to elaborate further as he continued to be on his way, leaving you confused at his response. He smirked to himself at the thought, how nice it was to make you the confused one. Despite his ambiguity, he had every intention of seeing you again. He just had to know more; to study you, to break you down and build you back up, to figuratively dissect you until he mastered your inner workings and understood your quirks. You were his captivating little side project, and he couldn’t wait to begin his research on you.

​​

[cibeeorsomeshit]

A Series of Unfortunate Attempts (ao3)

Moxxie

“So, your highness, hypothetically speaking, if someone wanted to propose to you—uh, how would one do so?”

“Why, I thought you and Millie were happily married!”

“Wha—No! It’s not like that—I’m not…oh, crumbs.”

Millie

“Your highness, didja watch the episode last week? Wasn’t the proposal scene soooooo romantic?”

“Heh, I suppose it was.”

“So cutting out your enemy’s heart as a gift is something that’s to your liking?”

“Hmm, that’s an interesting question…Oh, Millie, do you want this man catcher? Someone tried to use it on me today and I kept it because I thought you might appreciate it.”

“Oh my gosh! That’s so sweet! Thank you, your highness!” 

Loona

You received a message from an unknown number

Loona: Dude how do you want to get hitched 

Stolas: Preferably with silk ropes.

Loona: yea no im not doing this

Fizzarolli

“Do you think I’m taking this too far?”

“What? Nah, he’s totally freaking out right now. It’s fucking hilarious.”

“...do you have videos?”

“Boy, do I!”  

Blitzø

“Alright, bird, fuck this shit, you and me, we’re getting fucking married and if you say no I’ll jump off this tower right now but please don’t because I spent a shitload on this ring so if I break anything I can’t go to the hospital and I’ll just be a mess literally and mentally—and super broke too—oh fuck you why aren’t you saying anything—”

“Sorry. I’m just, I’m just so happy. Oh dear, it’s…how odd is it to be this happy…”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I wasn’t asked a question.”

“Ugh fuck off—you know what I want to say—”

“Do I?”

“I tried to get everyone to find out how you like this done—”

“Oh, did you? I didn’t realize.” 

“Shut up. Not my fault they don’t know jack shit about how to be sneaky. You won’t even throw them a bone, or maybe you never think about this…”

“I think about this all the time.”

“...and you never pop the question yourself because?” 

“I was afraid, well, I didn’t want to make you feel trapped, or—put pressure on you. It might be too much and…”

“And I’ll leave?”

“And you’ll leave.”

“Ha, good luck with that, birdbrain. I’m sticking around. I’m sticking to you.”

“I would like to be stuck to you.”

“Come here so I can put this ring on you.”

“Hmm, no.”

“Ugh, fine! Will you marry me, for fuck’s sake?”

 “Yes.”

“Get over here.”

“Yes, yes, yes…”

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i started writing this back in the last week of december going on into january bc we had so many karasuno bdays back then so uhhh TECHNICALLY this is a late bday post honoring like four people LMAO but let's go!!

during kageyama's first birthday at karasuno he gets a mysterious series of texts from an unknown number that goes like > happy birthday > not that this means you're forgiven > just thought it was the right thing to do > i know it's your first since. well. you know > you don't have to text back or anything!!!! > fuck fuck fuck just pretend this never happened BYE

he brings up it up two years later when he, kindaichi, and kunimi are better friends and kindaichi buries his red face in his hands and screams and kageyama isn't sure why

kunimi pats him on the back and tells him not to worry about it

ennoshita has a playlist that is solely just like white noise and creaking sounds and generally just things that would make you shit your pants alone in the dark and when asked why he just goes "it's the only way i can feel anything inside"

tsukki will NEVER admit it but he ASPIRES to be the level of deadpan that ennoshita is

tanaka: "so . . . why do you like him again?" ennoshita, watching a video he recorded of futakuchi walking straight into a lamppost bc he was playing pokemon go: "he makes me laugh"

no joke i think ennoshita is a dateko celebrity bc everyone knows about the guy that futakuchi kenji pines over bc futakuchi kenji is just known in a million ways and maybe like 90% of them are Not Good

a third-year has futakuchi by the collar and they're like "all right PUNK get ready to have your lights punched out you'll be seeing stars when i'm done with you" and futakuchi just sighs longingly and goes "ennoshita has eyes like stars . . ."

daichi is that type of upperclassman who knows very single friend of his juniors' but not in like a cool older sibling way he does it in a cringefail modern parent kind of way

kogane used to be soooooo scared of him before finding out what a huge dork he is

actually kogane isn't scared of asahi bc he's so used to aone and asahi cries over it

(sorry for plugging in dateko so much i just genuinely think they have such a fun relationship with karasuno i ADORE it)

onagawa: "man idk how you do it" narita: "do what?" onagawa: "being the only normal person on your team"

yeah no narita is carrying the weight of the world as the only person with the brain cell on karasuno

sometimes it's ennoshita but he's been dead inside since first year so

suga tells the first years he knows martial arts but all he really did was go to one (1) judo club demonstration during his second year of middle school and somehow managed to flip the captain over by sheer luck and never tried again

for takeda's birthday everyone teams up to get him a really nice fountain pen, a classical poetry book, and a quality bottle of sake. for ukai's birthday tsukki leads a powerpoint presentation on why smoking is bad for you and that he really should stop, backed up with everyone else standing behind him with their arms crossed and nodding along

okay that and they also get him a really cute apron (embroidered with crows!!) for him to wear around the store and a bag of good coffee

kiyoko has all - and i mean ALL - the snacks from the local convenience store on a tier list and when the vbc asked how the fuck she managed to do that she just went "my track team was a lot weirder than you guys"

actually the reason why daichi asked kiyoko to be the manager wasn't because kiyoko was the only one with no club activities going on it was because she gave asahi a hair tie when nobody else would and asahi had been trying to befriend her since (and also return said hair tie) but was too nervous to make the first move

asahi: "noooooo daaaaaaaiiiichiiiiiiiiii i caaaaaaaan't i'm so awkward and embarrassing!!!!" daichi, with all the confidence of a fifteen-year-old constantly winging it: "it's okay, i've got this!"

yeah he's just as surprised as you are that it worked out

especially considering he pitched it to her like a used car salesman

kiyoko carries a lot of hair ties with her when she starts just for asahi and when he leaves the team she doesn't stop bc she tells suga, daichi, and the second-years, "he'll come back, just wait and see"

THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!!!! THEY WERE FRIENDS TOO!! THEY WERE FRIE -

[blissfulalchemist]

OC Smash or Pass

Tagged by @statichvm and @adelaidedrubman to throw some ocs in the ringer. So have four of them to pick from. Sending tags out to: @belorage @unholymilf @strafethesesinners

@florbelles @confidentandgood @jackiesarch @leviiackrman @shallow-gravy and anyone else that wants to do it!

rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

Clídna (ffxvi)

QUICK FACTS.

full name: Clídna Warrick-Rosfield (don't blame her blame me I didn't think to come up with a last name doesn't seem relevant) height: 5' 9" (175.26cm) age: 28 cir. 873 / 32 cir. 878 gender: Female pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual/gay other features: has multiple face scars, with the biggest one being an X on her left cheek down into her neck. Others include one on her left eyebrow, on her right cheek, left side of her mouth, upper right forehead, and smaller ones that aren't very noticeable from afar.

Pros

🛡️Extroverted but will never drag you out to social things just wants to hang out with you 🛡️Strong. She can fireman carry Clive which like I mean he a big guy soooooo 🛡️Will guard you and protect you like the knight that she is. 🛡️Has ice/water powers so never have to worry about getting too warm ever.

Cons

🛡️She is a terrible patient. You will have to tie her down to the bed to rest. 🛡️So much trauma that isn't talked about. You aren't a magic user in that world and not have trauma 🛡️Has a tendency to run into danger to protect you and those that she loves/cannot protect themselves.

Demos (ffxiv)

QUICK FACTS.

full name: Demos Reyes height: 6' 3" (190.5cm) age: 32 cir. ARR / 37ish cir. Dawntrail gender: Male pronouns: he/him sexuality: bisexual other features: Has multiple scar on his body but the biggest one is on his face. A side slash right in the middle of it.

Pros

🌱 Good with his hands 😏 He's a healer, an artist, and blacksmith, they are multitalented. 🌱 An artist in multiple mediums. He's a blacksmith, drawer, painter, sculptor, you name it! 🌱 Very polite and sweet. Will treat you right, will do pretty much anything for you. He's a nice Eorzean small town man need I say more! 🌱 Saved the world multiple times.

Cons

🌱 Saved the world multiple times so his name and face is well known in places meaning you will have random strangers approach you. Don't worry he hates it too. 🌱 He's quiet. You wouldn't expect him to be but he is. 🌱 Dislikes the fae, has a huge mistrust of them. Despite this he is in a pact with their king. 🌱 Likes to wander and get lost. Will end up climbing trees and falling out of them and no this habit doesn't go away and won't until he is unable to do such things so good luck.

Tia (bloodlines)

QUICK FACTS.

full name: Hypatia "Tia" Caro height: 5' 9" (175.26cm) age: 27 gender: Female pronouns: she/her sexuality: mostly straight species: dhampir

Pros

🌄 Has fun colored hair which means she enjoys a lot of whimsy in her life! 🌄 Has a dog Mesa and a red tail boa named Paps. Both travel with her in her VW bus. 🌄 Well traveled and will go anywhere you suggest. 🌄 Very smart in math and has magical powers on top of being dhampir.

Cons

🌄 Likes to travel meaning she won't stay in one place for too long. 🌄 Can be stubborn with a my way or the highway mentality. 🌄 Has an old and powerful witch that was once a vampire and a secret organization after her. She's a criminal. 🌄 Will refuse to dress warmly/properly for cold weather, this means the desert is her favorite place to be.

Stasia (bloodlines, ffxiv)

QUICK FACTS.

full name: Stasia (given name Liana Enache) height: 5' 6" (167.64) age: ranges from 500 to 3,000 years old gender: Female pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual but self identifies as ace species: human witch to vampire to human witch. travels universes and is a half unsundered half human mage

Pros

🗡️ Is rich and has influential power. 🗡️ Will be upfront with you. No mind games here she ain't got time for that. 🗡️ Her loyalty is everything and beneficial for when you're in trouble. And she will have the utmost faith in you and your competence. 🗡️ She has magic powers and is immortal like need I say more? She also can make you immortal in some fashion to which ever suits your fancy. 🗡️ She comes with a bonus girlfriend!

Cons

🗡️ You cross her, you won't live to regret it. If you no longer prove useful you die. 🗡️ Has "creator" issues both vampirically and familial. She traded one for the other when going to a different universe but in the other universe its called Daddy Issues™️ 🗡️ You're not really in a relationship with her ever and will at times treat you like you're no one special but she does care....mostly.....you hope? just prepare yourself to have something complicated to explain when others ask. 🗡️ She's pretentious as fuck about a lot of things. And judgmental, you'll also find she will always speak to you in a bit of a condescending manner.

[berylcups]

Yandere Files: Melone X Hostess Club Reader

CW: pregnancy, drinking, drugs, dubious consent, childhood neglect, overstimulation, foot fetish

Notes: Beryl here! Another manipulative yandere post! It’s doesn’t feel very yandere-ish this time. I guess it’s because they’re less violent/forceful and use their words more to get what they want. I hope you fruit lovers enjoy ~ This one is much lewder than the others. Minors DNI

Y/N has been dealt some pretty shitty cards in life. If they were able to describe their life in one word it would be: Unlucky. They had an inattentive mother and mentally abusive and violent stepfather. Where’s the real father? Good question. They dipped out the minute their mother announced she was pregnant.

Their mother was pregnant and just given birth again. She was too lazy to take care of 2 children at once and why does the stepfather want to raise a child that isn’t his own? So they get sent off to boarding school. This wasn’t the best option either. Y/N caused trouble, got into fights, and neglected their school work. They were smart but they only wanted to learn on their own terms.

At age 18 their family stopped financially supporting them and they were left to fend for themselves. All they could afford was a super cheap studio apartment in the dangerous part of Napoli. But good news for Y/N their luck was beginning to turn around. They got a job at a specialty cafe!

The cafe took heavy inspiration from the east for its very accommodating atmosphere. Hostesses and hosts would be pouring wine for their guests, lighting their cigarettes and cigars, sitting with them, conversing, laughing at their jokes, flirting with them, and having a non alcoholic drink with them. Y/N liked this because they liked giving and receiving attention! It’s not that they're necessarily extroverted, they just been starved of the love and attention they needed as a child.

But there’s one thing that they can’t ignore but can’t say anything about…mafia activity. Specifically Passione. But why would that bother Y/N when all they have to do is keep quiet and act like nothings wrong? Easy peasy. In fact Y/N kinda likes when Passione members come in, they spend soooooo much money and it means more money in their pocket! Getting commissions off drinks and the offers of dates for money or luxury goods is huge perk for them!

There’s a regular that comes in that none of the hostess like dealing with. The guy is good looking but he’s aloof and kinda creepy. He always asks weird questions…. Intrusive questions. He never uses his real name. Just Melone. That’s it. Weird. But being the youngest and the newest hostess Y/N was the one who had the misfortune of having to serve him.

"Buonasera signore~. I’ll be at your service tonight. May I serve you?” Y/N asks, slightly sweating. They were nervous.

He looks up from his laptop with a bored expression and looks them up and down. His teal eyes shined slightly with a bit of interest.

“Please sit down.” He said coolly and gets back to typing on his laptop .

He was weird! Just like the others said! Oh man this is going to be a very long night.

“So tell me…are you healthy?” He asks without looking up.

“Uh… what?” That question was odd and took them off guard.

“Are you in a good health condition? No health problems?” He clarified looking back up making eye contact.

Maybe he’s in the medical field… Oh well this is awkward but Y/N is being paid to humor him.

“Yes sir…I am.” Y/N replied.

“Polite too. Interesting. What’s your date of birth and blood type? Also do you smoke or drink? Illicit drugs? I’m clearly not a cop so you can be honest..” He stared back at his screen.

Things are getting weirder and weirder…why does he wanna know all this?

“Ahem… my birthdate is ________ and uh… I don’t know my blood type sorry. I don’t smoke because it’s bad on my skin but I do drink socially. No drugs…other than what I’ve been prescribed.” Y/N rambled.

“Uh uh uh. I don’t need to know why- I just need to know if you do.” He said waving his finger in front of them.

“Rude prick. I better get paid good for this….” Y/N thought.

“So you don’t know your blood type..? Hmm.” He grabbed your hand in one fluid motion and licked it.

“What the fuck?!” Y/N shrieked as they pulled their hand back.

“ Mmmm… according to your delectable fingers your blood type is ____.” He purred as he licked his lips.

“Uh great.” Y/N says in a sarcastic tone. “ Do you need a drink? Because I need to wash my hands…”

He ignored the question and excitedly starts typing on his weird keyboard putting in all the strange information he requested. His excitement was short-lived. “Oh… what a shame. You aren’t a match either. You’re too compatible with the target. Sigh…none of the AFAB here are incompatible. Why is it so difficult this time around???” He says dejectedly.

“I’m sorry..?” They didn’t know what to say.

“Well… I have an hour or two to kill before I gotta get back to work. Let’s use this time wisely and get to know each other. You’re new around here aren’t you? What’s your name?” He asked, showing an ounce of interest.

“Oh so NOW he wants to know about me?! What is up with this guy???” You thought angrily.

You swallowed the anger into the bottom of your stomach and just played along.

“Yeah I’m new. I’m Y/N and I’ve been working here for about a month and a half.” They said. “ I’m assuming you work a very important job since you're glued to your laptop.” You observed.

“Y/N…What a lovely name. It suits you.” He says. “Let’s just say my job is important and dangerous but it’s not currently being valued as much as it should right now .” He subtly hinted at being a part of the familia.

“What made you decide to work here?” He asked. “You look like you belong in university.”

“Well that’s a long story. I can’t afford it. Once I turned 18 years ago my mom and stepdad stopped financially supporting me or… just supporting me in general. So I had to fend for myself. Basically I have no family but I got my own studio apartment and a job here so I’m fully independent now and don’t need them!” Y/N explained.

“Really? That’s quite awful. You never stop being a parent just because your child grew up.” He frowned .

“Yeah…It really makes me wanna make sure that I will never be like them when I become a parent one day.”

They’re interested in having children in the future? Now Melone is genuinely curious. Not to mention that they are healthy and their Zodiac lines right up there with his. Could this be the one? He’s tried so many times but things never seemed to work out for some reason… Well, at least they made good surrogates for Junior. Y/N might be the right soul mate this time!

“Are you free next Sunday?” He asked. “ I want to get to know you better. We could go to that nice park in the good part of town.”

He didn’t give off the best first impression but Y/N was a kind person. Why not give him a chance? It’s not the first time they went on a date with one of their patrons. Maybe they will get another Gucci purse or pair of high heels out of it!

“Sure. Sounds like it will be fun! Do you want me to meet you there or are you gonna meet me at my place?” Y/N asked cheerfully.

“Di molto bene! I’ll meet you at your place then.” He says excitedly.

Y/N wrote down their phone number and address on his receipt and that concluded their meeting for the night.

This might have been a bad idea. Let’s see how it plays out.

——————————-

The moment he sees your tiny cramped apartment he’s internally frowning. That’s no place to start a family. Hand me down furniture and outdated amenities and creepy neighbors…creepy even for him? That’s saying something!

“I never been on a bike before so I’m a little scared.” You confessed and he just smiles and pats on the space behind him.

“Don’t worry! I won’t go that fast! Just hold on to me nice and tight. It’s only a 5 minute drive so it won’t be long.” He said trying to ease your anxiety.

He loved how you clung to him the whole time. Feeling your chest against his back made his thoughts wander to what they looked like without clothing concealing them. These types of thoughts are not new to him of course. So he's easily able to tame his cock from waking up.

He didn’t expect you to be distracted the whole time though. While sitting on the grass at the park after a long walk he kept rambling about pseudoscience and zodiac signs. He stopped for a moment to see what you were looking at. You were looking over at the playground. A mother was kneeling in front of their crying daughter. She was putting a bandage on the little girls scraped knee and kissed it.

He looked at you and you had a mix of emotions all over you. Sadness, happiness, jealousy, confusion…it was a complicated look.

“I wish that were me…” you sighed. “ such a loving family. I want that too.”

He learned a lot about you that day. You were perfect for him. You were neglected and love starved, perfect for the taking. And you’re open to having children! You’re on his wavelength! Oh he’s not going to let you go.

He visits you often at the cafe. He always specifically requests for you and no one else. The others are jealous that you're able to catch his attention and he isn’t creepy towards you. He asks for dates often and buys lots of drinks so you make lots of money from him. He still asks odd questions from time to time…like favorite Kama sutra position , and when your menstrual cycle is. But he’s good at slowly manipulating you into normalizing this behavior. He likes you sitting in his lap while you two talk. He says close contact releases oxytocin.

Many of his dates include shoe and lingerie shopping at the department store. He always insists on putting the shoes on your feet for you. He enjoys massaging your feet too when they’re sore from all the walking. He has to hold back the urge to want to suck on your toes since you’re both in public. But he definitely can’t hold back his hard on seeing you in luxury brand 5 inch heels. Good thing he’s wearing civilian clothes for most of these dates, that jumpsuit wouldn’t hide a damn thing.

Everything is running smoothly. He’s gained your trust, now all he has to do is get you inside his house.

This time though he takes you to hang out at his house. He gets you a glass after glass of wine to make sure you’re nice and drunk so you’re easy to take advantage of. He’s not going to be able to keep his hands off of you and you’re too drunk to say no. He’s feeling you up and shoving his tongue inside your mouth and you’re lazily just reciprocating not really understanding what’s going on but just feeling the warmth build up inside you.

You’re going to wake up in bed with him with no recollection of what happened the night before. He’s just clinging to you, beaming that finally awake.

“Buongiorno Y/N~. Did you sleep well? Last night was… amazing.” He pulled you in close and nuzzled into your chest.

The first time was a little concerning but you trusted him. You assumed you wanted it but just don’t remember. It’s a little awkward but you both reached a huge milestone in your relationship! That’s supposed to be a good thing! You just wished you could remember it…

He uses his manipulation skills to convince you to move in with him and quit your job.

“I think it would be for the best if you got out of that dangerous apartment and moved in with me. I worry so much for your safety. We already spend so much time together, don’t you want to take our relationship to the next level? Also about your job… I’m not really happy with you spending time with other guys. I know it’s just business but I can’t help but feel jealous of another man who even looks at you! You understand right?”

He becomes more controlling once you move in. You cannot leave the house without his verbal permission. And don’t bother trying sneaking out, he has cameras everywhere they’re all linked to his laptop.

He sneaks prenatal vitamins into your food when he cooks for you. The food is always fantastically seasoned so that you can’t taste the pill.

He has a massive sexual appetite and if you can’t keep up with him that’s perfectly okay! Because he’ll give you aphrodisiacs to help with that. Whether you want to or not.

He keeps up with your menstrual cycle and knows when you’re ovulating. When you’re ovulating is when he’s the most ruthless.

He has you nearly bent in half with your legs between your head as he’s pussy drunk thrusting hard and it’s just making lewd squelching noises. He came in you 3 times already and intends on cumming even more deep into your cunt in hopes of you conceiving his children. You're overstimulated and your cunt is overflowing with his cum as he’s panting praises.

“Oh love! You’re slutty pussy keeps pulling me back in~! You’re so addictive that I can’t stop! I can’t wait to see you full and round with my child~! You're going to be a wonderful parent!”

You’re in the bathroom crying and looking at the positive pregnancy test. You don’t know what to do. You wanted a family but everything is happening so fast! You’re afraid of being as bad as your own parents. Thankfully Melone is always here to comfort you.

“You're pregnant? Di molto!!! That’s wonderful news! …why are you crying?” He’s confused.

“I’m scared I won’t be a good parent. I don’t what it’s like to be a good one! I don’t even know how to hold a baby !” You sobbed.

He wiped away your tears and gave you a big warm hug.

“Oh love~. You have nothing to worry about. You’re going to be a great parent I promise! You may not have had the best upbringing but I’ll make sure you and the baby are well taken care of.” He said kissing your forehead. “ You can always trust me.”

You can always trust Melone! He’s very trustworthy. As long as you’re willing to make a big family with him you have a very fruitful future ahead of you!

[deepspacedukat]

So, like…..what’s the consensus on Q insisting on dressing his S/O (w/their permission ofc!)? I personally think he’d be really into it lmaoooo. He’d completely replace their wardrobe (and possibly all of their “distasteful” starfleet uniforms. Good luck explaining to Picard why you had to go to your shift on the bridge dressed in a sparkly purple and gold evening gown). I also think he’d be a little confused by human gender norms around clothes; I don’t think the Qs as a species really have that the way humans and other mortal species do. In other words, he’d see no problem with putting a masc s/o in a fancy ballgown or a fem s/o in a stylish tuxedo, unless they expressed to him that it made them uncomfortable.

My justification for this: He sees mortal species as lesser beings, so obviously he finds their sense of fashion lesser too. So it’s only natural he step in and save his poor, lovely S/O from the peril of the drab clothes the rest of their species insists they wear! (He dresses them in nothing but gaudy silk fabrics, rhinestones, and glitter…..the only three things humans ever got right about fashion, in his opinion.) And also I read a line in a fic where he called mortal clothes boring and my mind chased that plot bunny down like I was running a marathon lmao.

OMG I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MAKEUP!!! That man can fucking ROCK a sexy red lip, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to do matching, coordinating, or at least complimentary makeup looks with his S/O (Again, unless they expressed they don’t like it).

Matching lingerie? Probably.

The inspirational fic in question: https://www.tumblr.com/unknownfacelessfanfictions/755468839619280896/i-have-an-idea-for-a-q-x-reader-specifically-the

🌑

Ooooh, honestly, given all of the knowledge that the Q have about the galaxy, they'd probably be pulling fashion inspiration from species Humans haven't even heard of.

"Where'd your dress today come from?"

"Oh, y'know, I have no idea. Q said it was some species inn the Gamma Quadrant? I think?"

Personally, I think Q would love having a cute Human partner to dress up like his own lil doll. He'd be so insufferable about it, too. "Darling, you simply must try this neon green lipstick from [Insert Random Planet Here]! It would pair excellently with your bone structure! And oooh! It would go so well with this whole ensemble that I just happen to have right here!" *snaps his fingers and an obviously planned out and not-at-all-spontaneous outfit appears*

OH MY GOD AND WITH LINGERIE. That man/entity would be absolutely unstoppable. He'd have soooooo much lingerie set aside in lil universe pockets for his partner.

Obviously, if they really didn't like him doing that, I think he'd stop, but if his partner enjoyed it, he'd become an absolute menace.

And Ooooh, coordinating looks? Abso-fucking-lutely! After all, in his logic, what higher compliment could a mortal get than having a god want to play dress up with them? To match their appearance?

[bubblepopsims]

previous - next

[Sabrina: “girl…. You have no idea…”] 2 [Sabrina: “When I say this man is fine… I mean he is FINEEEE.. and dresses so nice and sophisticated, he is educated, well off by wanting to see this house.”] 3 [Sabrina: “No, Unfortunately he is engaged- I know… Bitch I know… yeah, and here is the best part..”] 4 [Sabrina: “To a little miss del sol valley -Flips her imaginary hair- The girl is nothing but good lucks, so fakely bubbly and “oh my god this is soooooo cuteeee” bitch I don’t know..they need to stop taking our men becau–“] 5 [Distant voice and footsteps] [Sabrina: “*annoyed whisper* Shit.. they are here! I’ll call you later”] 6 [Maddi lets out a excited gasp: “Oh Raffy… Oh…..”] [Rafael: “*chuckles lightly* yeah when I saw it, I had a feeling you would appreciate this.”] 7 [Maddi: “Raffy… this is more than appreciation.. I mean I feel –“] [Sabrina: “Oh sorry.. *clears throat* I as not here to greet you guys at the door….”] 8 [Sabrina: “…….. He is… so …. Fine……..”]

[regalityandcoffee]

Claudio Castagnoli SFW and NSFW Headcanons

I...Uh. I don't have any excuse for this.

Enjoy, ya sinners <3

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

♡♡♡SFW♡♡♡

He's the best, in short.

He's patient, communicates well and loves to talk.

He has soooooo many nicknames for you. He loves way your name feels on his tongue, but loves finding new nicknames for you. Baby, doll, sweetheart, little one, darling, sugar. Even some in Italian and German. You know he's tired or has a lot on his mind when he calls you by your real name

If he feels there's something oof between the two of you he'll always come to you as gently as he can

Upset? He's always ready to comfort you but will definitely give you the space you need

He also loves cooking for others, especially you. Good luck getting a chance in the kitchen because nine times out of ten he'll beat you to the oven

Has an impeccable sense of style and loves to spoil and surprise you with pretty clothes and jewelry too.

Always wants to take you on vacations and drives.

Loves loves loves to cuddle. Look at him! He's perfect for cuddles. Big and fuzzy with the perfect chest to rest your head on while you watch TV together and he rubs your back

Super protective. As much as he loves the thought of you watching him work he hates the idea of you at ringside or even in the crowd. If anyone ever hurt you he'd never forgive himself. Plus he might end up getting in Hella trouble seeking revenge on whoever hurt you.

Plus... he hates seeing other guys flirt with you. He knows damn well he has nothing to worry about... he's just a bit... possessive.

♡♡♡NSFW♡♡♡

The epitome of gentleman in the streets, freak in the sheets.

His body is a work of art and he knows it. He's kind of an exhibitionist. He'll fuck you anywhere you'll let him. Allyways, the rental car, in front of hotel room windows and on the balcony. The man is a walking PR nightmare.

He also has a habit of sending you provacative texts, audio, and videos of himself.

He literally had to warn you before you first had sex about how big his dick is. The man is hung.

Finds it cute you can't take all of him in your mouth. He calls the kisses and teasing you do 'kitten licks' and smirks whenever you gag on him.

Loves stuffing you with his fingers and driving you insane.

His thighs were made for riding. He adores the feeling of you throbbing against him as he lays back and watches you move.

Doesn't care for much for restraints like rope. He'd rather just pin you down with his hands, but it does give him away to use all those scarves he has.

Into erotic asphyxiation, loves to have his hand around your throat in certain positions. Especially when he's railing you behind so he can tilt your head back and kiss you or spit in your mouth

He'll bend you in any position he can, sometimes getting a bit too creative. But missionary works perfect for him too. The best position to look into your eyes and tells you how much he loves you while your brain drips put your ears

Loves to mark you, whether in hidden places or spots that'd be easy to notice.

Loves to praise you and talk dirty in every language he knows, even if it's a lil bit mean

"That's it, that's my good slut..."

"Kannst du hören, wie laut du für mich wirst?"

"Adoro quanto sei bagnato, poverino..."

"Right there? You like it right there?"

"Poor baby can't even speak, so cute..."

"That's it, use your big words, that's my baby..."

Sometimes he'll call you "Good _____" in public just to see your pupils go big.

He's so mean but so so sexy.

[gibblegabber]

guys i really don’t think i can make it further than this

VI: YEA!!! YEAAAAAAA!!! ok I didn’t realize til rewatching it but it wasn’t the fourth one it’s the SIXTH one that’s my favorite. by far. this movie slaps. the concept is good. cera’s um… cousins? are so cute. and then they’re not in the next movie for some FUCKING reason. the lone dinosaur song is SOOOOOO GOOOOOD. it was my fav as a kid and i used to change the lyrics to whatever my obsession of the week was. like i think one week my favorite pokemon was articuno so i sang “the lone articuno”. kids’ brains are weird especially mine. anyways. I really think they nailed the plot here. pacing good (which they normally suck at), saurus rock breaking and causing bad luck was a neat concept, doc(?) saving littlefoot a bunch of times, the whole like…here’s the superhero idea but for dinos in a world long before superheroes idk man I liked it. it’s good. 12/10

VII: aaaaaand this one sucked so bad I couldn’t even watch it. six came out in 1998 this one came out in 2000 and the difference is INSANE. same director but doesn’t feel like it. pacing garbage. petri needs to shut up for 5 seconds ffs. the villains and conflict are obvious. the start and title of the movie sets you up to be interested in the rock and they only really get back to the rock in the last 10 minutes. they are a little self aware here like they poke fun at ducky’s speech patterns and stuff. music absolutely abysmal. I’m sorry but HOW do you go from an absolute banger to this. AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT THE END. WERE THEY ALIENS???? WHAT— maybe I missed something bc I spent the movie on my phone I was so bored. but WTF. 2/10

don’t stand by I don’t wanna watch anymore but my husband peeked at future plots and says I HAVE to watch until at least the 10th movie

[scoundrels-in-love]

things you said at the kitchen table - (i was gonna say vashmeryl but you already did one of those for disconnect :3) soooooo stryfewood

This only took a genuine month to write, oops.

| Stryfewood (Mashwood hints) | Pining | Teasing | Wolfwood in a turtleneck | Also on AO3 |

---

Meryl does not often drink to the point of hangovers and for good reason. She prides herself in knowing her limits and abiding by them. But somewhere after leaving her work party with Milly timely because they had decided they deserved to celebrate their promotion proper instead of playing polite with work seniors, her sensibilities (and a shoe) seems to have gotten lost while drinking and dancing.

She remembers having fun, laughing and feeling light, and honestly, not much else. Certainly not how she must've stumbled home and face planted onto her bed without changing her clothes. And it all feels very unfair trade for the absolute misery she's experiencing right now.

When she makes her way to the kitchen for the second time this morning to have more water and attempt to stomach some food, Meryl feels a touch more human after a shower and fresh change of clothes, but there is still a wild herd of buffalos stampeding around the inside of her skull.

She does not see improvement in that condition in her future, considering just who is leaning against the kitchen counter, smirk spread on his handsome face.

Of course it would be just her luck that Wolfwood, her best friend's slash roommate's other best friend (more than that, she suspects, though they've not introduced any label to her, but neither are very good at being discreet about anything), has not left yet.

She thought he might have, since Vash is gone for the weekend without much explanation as to why (she's gotten used to his odd ways, even if she's not given up on bugging him for some truth), but then again Wolfwood treats this like his rent-free place. To the point she's told him he might as well move in with Vash and not waste money on his own apartment.

(Doesn't matter that she would probably need to look for a new place herself then, because she isn't sure she'd handle looking more often at Vash casually draped over Wolfwood's lap as the other man combs fingers through the blonde hair in a way she's quietly wanted to since their second uni year, or increase in the other sweet, casual intimacy acts on the daily.)

She mumbles a greeting to Wolfwood and slumps into her chair and then over the table, resting her head on her arms. 

"Rough morning?" Wolfwood asks and she can hear him move around the kitchen, the soft clink of glass. What she doesn't expect is for it to be placed next to her on the table, his warm fingers brushing against her hand. She shifts to peer at him over her arm without lifting her head and his expression promises nothing good.

Still, she thanks him and straightens up to drink. 

Wolfwood keeps watching her in a way that makes her incredibly self-conscious. He always does, when he puts his full attention on her, his dark eyes making her want to squirm and smooth down her hair. But right now, it's more and it's worse. (She hadn't known that was possible.)

Meryl feels a drop of water escape the corner of her mouth as she drinks and roll down her chin and neck and she could swear Wolfwood follows its path with his gaze, lingering where the droplet meets its end at the collar of her t-shirt and tracing the path back up to her lips.

Suddenly she really wishes Vash was here - though his cheeriness and volume would make her headache worse, at least he would distract Wolfwood, turn this into something more familiar. And the hangover soup he makes is divine.

It's not that she and Wolfwood can't hang out or don't get along - they do. In their own way that would make most people assume they can barely tolerate each other, sure, but what do they care about how others perceive their bickering. When she needs an honest, if biting opinion on her newest article or wants to tear the newest popular, but lackluster and plothole riddled series to shreds with someone who gets it , there is no one better to go to than Wolfwood.

(Vash loves to sit down and just listen to them go at it, chin in his hands and warm smile on his face that she can't look at too much directly or it sends butterflies dancing in her chest like sun spots.)

But all of that is one thing and the way he's looking at her as if he's gauging the best moment to pounce is something completely different. What's worse, he looks so good in the early morning - black turtleneck accentuating his broad shoulders and narrow waist, long fingers wrapped around a huge coffee mug almost as if on display, hair mussed just enough to make her want to mess it up a touch more and run her palm down his stubbled cheek.

Meryl drops her gaze first, gets a refill of water. If he makes a joke about her being thirsty again, she will cuss him out for real this time.

"So, what got our Miss Proper utterly wasted last night, hm?" Wolfwood doesn't seem satisfied to just let the silence rule across the kitchen and Meryl groans in mortification. She'd really hoped she hadn't run into him last night. God only knows what nonsense (or truths) she could babble in such a state.

"Got carried away celebrating a promotion with Milly," she admits, resting her head against the wall, skirting her gaze over him and toward the window, squinting at the light. 

"Oh, how come I hear about that only now? Thought we were friends, gatinha," she makes a disgruntled noise at the pet name, out of principle not actual upset, "'N Vash usually can't wait to brag about yer achievements, can't believe he didn't call me to yell all about it."

Meryl hopes the heat in her face is not as vivid as it feels, she hadn't known Vash spoke about her like that when she isn't around. It feels more special somehow, than just the way he hypes her up when next to her, though she dearly loves that, too.

"We learned last night ourselves," Meryl explains. The news had mixed well with the champagne, sweet bubbles filling her head and making reason pop like one, too.

Wolfwood hums softly as he considers it, turning away from her to start washing his mug. It's a relief, not to have his eyes on her anymore, but part of her, a part that is surely still drunk, misses his gaze, the intensity and focus that he's been giving her this morning. The sort she could feel even when she wasn't looking at him at all.

Meryl is looking now, though. Letting herself appreciate the way the turtleneck hugs his form, how his shoulder blades move beneath the fabric as he reaches for the dish towel and dutifully, carefully dries his mug. He's always been the tidiest of them all. Her gaze tracks upward, to the back of his neck and she suddenly thinks - if she was taller, she could peel it back, revealing the beautiful line of his throat and press a kiss there, right beneath his ear. If she sat on the counter, she'd be just the right height -

The thought is not unfamiliar , but it startles her all the same and as she pushes it away, it rolls away with a sound like a cat toy filled with something to make a noise at the slightest shift.

"Suppose we oughta celebrate then, when Vash comes back," Wolfwood interrupts her attempts to ignore the rattling ball of bad ideas. She'd seen him turn back around, but somehow not registered it. Meryl hopes she didn't startle too visibly.

"That'd be nice," she agrees with a smile. Vash has a habit of throwing celebrations for the silliest reasons, like today is national pasta day or the day has gotten a specific length before the sun sets, so casual, silly get togethers aren't strangers to this apartment. And she really doesn't think she wants anything more, either. Even if they just treat her to pizza and her pick of a movie, she'd love it.

"No getting trêbada, tho, wouldn't want a repeat of last night." 

There is something in his tone, something knowing and sly, that makes Meryl straighten up and tense, while he's still the perfect picture of relaxed swagger, relaxing against the counter and grinning at her.

"What do you mean?" Meryl's voice sounds dry and cracked, a pitch higher than she would have liked, and her heart is beating the drum in her temples at the tempo contest.

"Ya don't remember at all, do ya?" Wolfwood drawls and pushes himself off the edge counter. She sits with her hands clutched in her lap, feeling drawn like a bowstring, as he approaches her, stops so very close that their knees touch and when he leans down, she can distinguish his pupils from the deep, rich brown surrounding them. 

She watches like spellbound when he hooks one of his long fingers behind the edge of his turtleneck's collar and peels it back, turning his head just so she can have a good look at the smudged lipstick mark on his throat. The same shade she'd scrubbed from her face earlier this morning, half surprised it had lasted until then, half lamenting it had gotten so smudged all the same. Perhaps it was understandable, considering what she'd gotten up to, Meryl thinks numbly.

"Kept that one for a good luck charm today," Wolfwood says, in a low voice that makes all of this somehow even more something she can't define in her current state. His word choice doesn't help - that one, as if she'd kissed him all over - and she can't tell if it's an image created by him or a stray memory, but she can picture doing just that, straddling his lap on the couch and pressing her mouth all over his face, with loud mwah noises to accentuate each sloppy kiss.

"If ya want to shower me in affection," Wolfwood continues, either oblivious or sharply aware of her internal spiral, and then his index finger tips her chin up just so, "prefer ya did it sober next time so I can reciprocate."

Her heart might jump through her mouth and into his face, for him to do with it as he pleases. Surely, even that would be less embarrassing. Surely, even that wouldn't be as impossible as the picture of possibilities that Wolfwood's just created.

"'N I think Blondie would like to join in on the fun, too." His thumb brushes a whisper of a touch across her bottom lip, a burning tingle left in its wake, and then he draws back to his full height, leaving her gaping up at him.

Just like that, he walks away, as if nothing has happened, as if her world didn’t just get shaken like a snowglobe.

At least that's what she thinks, until Wolfwood trips over the threshold and curses loudly. She can hear him stifling more choice words as he slightly limps down the corridor and the beautiful absurdity of it all makes Meryl burst into giggles, burying her face in her hands.

Maybe she'll get to kiss his ego better, later. God knows he doesn't need it, but she might anyway.

---

Wolfwood last night: exhibit a, exhibit b.