#sorry I made myself cry because I’m God’s favorite

[remma-demma]

Do you think Hydaelyn kept track of Azem’s soul as it got reincarnated over the eons, searching for the face she knew from Elpis, growing weary as the centuries and millennia passed? That each time she gave them her blessing she got slowly weaker and weaker, until your Wol was born and she knew her time would soon be over but yours was just beginning.

I just think it’s nice that not only are we her favorite because we’re Azem, but because we’re this particular reincarnation of Azem that she knows and has been looking forward to.

[generalllimaginesss]

author’s note: I blacked out while writing this, so it will be as much of a surprise to me when I wake up and reread it as it will to you when you read it for the first time. It wasn’t requested, just something that my brain came up with and wouldn’t let me sleep until I finished it. It’s loosely based off of Olivia Rodrigo’s The Grudge and the movie Sweet Home Alabama (my favorite movie). Also, this is completely made up in my head and in no way reflects something that Luke Hughes has done, or will do. It’s also 2:06 AM and I can’t promise that it’s proofread very well because I can barely keep my eyes open (I worked a double today).

Warnings: cursing, ANGST, cheating, kinda sad but has a good ending. Slow beginning, but I promise it gets better!

Without further ado….

The Grudge

“Hello?”

The single word that was the catapult for the demise of your relationship. The single word that changed the course of what you pictured your future as.

Luke’s side of the call was silent, the only noise able to be heard was his breathing, heavy as if the weight of the world was crushing his lungs, deflating him of life.

He wasn’t supposed to be calling. He had told you he was having a guys week, a time for him to regroup with his brothers and friends at the lake house. It was his own little sanctuary away from the life that he had worked so hard for. A quiet place. He had asked for that time, to which you agreed, he needed a break.

“Luke? Everything ok?”

He wanted nothing more than to hang up the phone in that instance. The reality that he was about to destroy the last bit of trust that you held for him constricting him as he fought with his vocal cords, trying like hell to form some form of vocalization.

“I need to tell you something,” He managed to squeeze the words out, every bit of courage mustered into it. The feeling of facing the mistake that he had made seemed impossible compared to simply just refusing to acknowledge it. He could ignore it all, ghost you, and pretend like he had never ruined everything. He had ruined your relationship, your love. You. He had ruined you, including everything that came from the relationship the two of you developed a couple of summers before he had left to play for Michigan.

Ironic that it would begin and end during the summer.

“Ok. Are you-”

“Are you alone?”

His brothers will kill him when they find out, but your family? The thought of them being there to wipe your tears and listen to your rants that have to do with him break his heart. He had developed a special relationship with your dad, your mom always put a stocking out for him during the holiday season, your brother? He had taught your little brother how to skate, how to play hockey. Even though he couldn’t coach your little brother’s team, he had supported him since the beginning. He had bought him his first jersey. 43.

“Yeah, Luke. You’re scaring me.”

“God, I fucking hate myself. I’m so sorry,” Sobbing, the sound of his arm wiping his nose could be heard. He knew he shouldn’t cry. He chose this.

He knew he didn’t always treat you like you should have, no deserved, to be treated. He didn’t spend time with you like he should have, he didn’t tell you he loved you enough. When you yelled at him about things, he would scream back. He would never hit you, but his words cut through your core, sometimes feeling worse than what you imagined the sting of one of his slaps might feel like.

The anxiety that stemmed from Luke’s call gripped your lungs, confusion coursing through your body outweighing the blood that sucked at carrying the oxygen at the moment. There was nothing random about your relationship, he didn’t surprise you with anything, much less a phone call.

Something is wrong.

The silence was deafening, overwhelmingly so.

“I tried to tell myself that you would never find this out, but there was somebody taking pictures and I need you to hear it from me first, ok?” He closed his eyes forcing himself to find some shred of courage left inside of him.

“Ok,” The word was breathy as it left your lips, a courtesy to encourage him to continue.

“I cheated,” It flowed out of his mouth in such a casual way that it felt like somebody had stabbed you in the back, twisting the knife and watching as you writhed in pain. The taste of iron flooded your senses as you bit your cheek to hold yourself together.

“We went to one of the local bars. She was the bartender, she knew us. Trevor invited her to the house after her shift and me and her ended up alone together while the others were out back and one thing led to another…one of the guys took a picture and posted it on their story. They forgot about you.” He tried to explain it in a way that redeemed himself. He was only 20 years old…this bartender could’ve taken advantage of him, but you knew him.

He didn’t get close to just anybody, he was the gate to his space. Nobody would get through the gate if he didn’t want them to, including this girl. Which made the bile that was building in your throat much more bitter. The fact that he not only cheated, but is trying to play victim makes you bubble with rage. Luke Hughes was very good at many things, but the one thing he had never quite mastered the role of was “victim.”

The shock coursed through your body like metal to a magnet, searching endlessly for something to smash into and deciding your heart was the place to do that. It felt like you forgot to breathe, your lungs aching for a breath.

“Y/N?” He willed you to talk, silence causing more anxiety than your anger ever would have.

“I never would have done this to you,” Your whisper spoke more volumes than a scream would have, cutting through the phone and going straight through Luke’s body. He wished you would scream at him, tell him he fucked up, but the way you said those words made him feel like this was it. He couldn’t come back from this one.

“I’m sorry,” His words were meaningless, but he spoke them nonetheless.

Those two words sent you into a silent rage, one that wrecked the inside of your mind but couldn’t be seen by anyone else. You hung up the phone, throwing it across your room and immediately packing everything that had to do with Luke into a box that you found.

Packing 4 years worth of things that you acquired from him was emotionally draining, each article triggering memories through the years.

His first Michigan Hockey sweatshirt that he had bought himself packed into the bottom of the box reminded you of the date he had planned. He had snuck the two of you into the arena when no one was there and taught you to skate, skills that still stick with you to this day. His first hoodie became yours that night, the smell of his cologne long gone from the comfort it brought you many nights when you felt lonely.

A Devils snow globe and jersey that was decorated with the number 43, his number, packed next. He had bought it for you the day he was drafted, convinced that it would be worth something one day. And it was. Just not to you anymore. The snow globe was attached to a memory that was better left forgotten. It was for your birthday, which happened to be the day after his. When you had gone all out for his 20th birthday, buying him a new custom suit and designer shoes that required months of savings, he gave you a snow globe that “you could add to your collection.” You had said some backhanded things to him, a huge fight came from that. A fight on your birthday, something else that you would’ve never done to him.

The last items consisted of hoodies, a few pairs of sweatpants and boxers, and a couple of jackets. The last thing, however, was something that you didn’t know if you could part with.

It was a letter that Luke had wrote you for Valentine’s Day the second year of your relationship, a sweet surprise that you weren’t expecting with your usual bouquet of daisies and roses, your two favorite flowers.

When you doubted your relationship with Luke in the past, when arguments and fights felt like it was all it consisted of, you always found your way back to his letter. He had told you that you were his end game, that there would never be somebody else that was better suited for him. He poured his heart out in that letter, telling you that he was going to marry you one day. One day when he had made it to the NHL and could roll in money, he was going to buy a rock for your finger and a huge house for all of the babies that you talked about.

Rereading the letter normally made you remember the good times, when things were good, but under the circumstances now it made you want to burn it, to watch his words turn to ash, just like the promises he had made to you.

Meaningless. His words were meaningless now.

It wasn’t always his fault, no. There were instances where you said things that you knew hurt him, things that echoed in the back of his head every now and then. Something along the lines of him never being as good as his brothers, that he would always be in their shadow. That Luke Hughes would be known as “just another Hughes brother.”

Some days he felt like that statement couldn’t be more true, that he would never live up to the records that Quinn and Jack seemed to break every time they stepped on the ice. Some days he just couldn’t see it coming together for him.

But other days he knew he was determined to make a name for himself, for Luke. The Hughes name was a force to be reckoned with. Luke wanted to be even better than his last name. Whatever it took, sometimes at the expense of those around him.

You snatched the letter that was stuck in the corner of the mirror that perched on top of your dresser, the sound of the paper crisp beneath your fingertips. As much as you wanted to destroy the letter, you figured it would be better to send it back to Luke. He needed to see all of the promises he broke and hurt he’s caused.

The paper was the last thing in the box, folded neatly on top of everything else.

Closing the box, you carried it to your car, placing it in the backseat behind the driver’s side. If there’s one thing that could be payback to Luke, it was telling his parents. He thrived on his parent’s approval, likely a symptom of being the youngest brother of an extremely successful family.

Ellen and Jim’s faces burned the back of your mind, so many memories that consisted of the two of them. Countless games at Michigan were spent with the two of them, as well as a couple of trips to New Jersey. You had helped Ellen cook supper many times, and watched as Jim coached his sons. Ellen’s pep talks were rarely intended for you, but you always felt like something could be learned from her wisdom.

The drive was silent, muscle memory the only way you could manage to get there in the state you were in. You didn’t know if the lights were green or if you used your blinker, all you could think about was Luke admitting to cheating. All of the shit you had been through with each other, all of the petty fights, had finally come to a head. You may have gone low, below the belt at some point in time, but this? You never could have ruined him like this, no matter how bad you wanted to.

As hurt as you were, you were numb. Tears wouldn’t fall, your body still in shock over the news.

As you drove up the paved driveway to the house that had become your second home, the emotions hit you when you saw Ellen in the flower beds, digging up weeds and planting new flowers.

She had heard a car approaching, causing her to look up and recognize you. Although she loved for you to visit, you normally didn’t come over unless Luke was with you, especially now that him and Jack owned the lake house.

She wiped at the sweat that was beading her forehead, dirt from her work gloves sticking in some of her blonde locks that were glued to her face. She smiled at you, before confusion flashed and she saw that you were carrying a box.

“Hi, Doll! Luke’s not here, but I’m glad you stopped by!” Her warm tone and kind smile didn’t fade, even if she did notice something off about your demeanor.

Her voice broke you. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring her and Jim into this. Maybe you should have just threw everything that connected you to Luke in a garbage can and called it a day.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She walked towards you with her arms open, noticing your quivering lips and teary eyes.

She was drenched in sweat from the summer sun, but you didn’t mind it. Dropping the box on the driveway, you allowed her to wrap her arms around you tightly. Her embrace gave you comfort as sobs racked through your body. How could such a loving mom and dad create such a jack ass? They had done perfect with 2/3 of their sons…what happened with Luke?

“Do you want to go inside? Jim’s working on a sink faucet, but he won’t mind,” She ushered you inside, her hand gently pushing your back.

Nodding, you wiped your nose on your sleeve and allowed her to walk you inside. She quickly washed her hands at the sink Jim was working at, earning a few objections from him, but she hushed him and motioned to you.

His face filled with concern as he noticed something wrong with you. He could fix a lot of things, but girls was something he would leave to his wife.

The leather of the couch soothed the heat that the summer sun had left on your skin. Ellen joined, sitting next to you as she rubbed your back, calming you. She truly was like a second mom.

“Is everything ok?” She held onto your arm, the pressure from her fingers sending tingles to your brain.

“No,” You croaked, the single word rattling your throat as it struggled to exit.

“What happened?” Her voice had dropped below her regular volume, but above a whisper. She cut her eyes at Jim who was attempting to listen from the kitchen.

“He cheated…”

The shock hit his parents as hard as it did you. Quinn would never cheat, Jack? It was questionable sometimes. But they’re baby? The one that had endured the lectures from his parents the longest, the one that had seen his brother’s mistakes and learned from them, the one that seemed so in love with you that nothing could ever separate you both? It seemed nearly impossible. Surely it was a mistake.

“How do you know? The press always lies…” She trailed off, your eyes connecting to hers.

“He told me,” The strength you tried to regain from your prior meltdown was useless as your voice trembled, “…said that he wanted to tell me before somebody else did.”

“Oh, Honey. I’m so sorry,” She pulled you into her arms, watching as Jim rounded the corner to join. You were like the daughter the two of them had always wanted, so seeing you hurt killed them in return. And at the hands of their son? They were immensely disappointed. They didn’t raise him like this.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do, and I probably should have left you both out of it,” Your attempts at stopping the free-flowing tears were useless, so you embraced each one as it fell, “…um, I brought his stuff back. I know he’s at the lake house, but I don’t think I can see him right now. I really wish we could have worked. You two will never know how much you and your boys mean to me.”

“Likewise, sweet girl. I wish I could make this all better. You may not feel like it right now, but our family will always hold a spot for you,” Ellen reassured, a hum of agreement resonating within Jim.

“Anytime you want, and I’m serious, our door will always be open for you. No matter the time or circumstance, do you understand?” Jim waited for you to respond, a nod of your head, before embracing you again.

Their words meant so much, but the hurt still ached, seemingly never ending.

You said your goodbyes, taking in the house that you would probably never see again. The walls holding memories that only those in the house would ever understand or appreciate.

Closing the front door felt like closing a chapter on your life. A chapter that felt like it was ending in the middle with no resolve, but it closed.

It needed to.

———

As the New Year approached, your parents reminded you of the plans they had that would draw them away from home. They claimed that they celebrated Christmas with you, but the New Year meant that you were alone in a house that felt big and lonely while they celebrated with their fellow group of middle aged parents.

The months had passed, agonizingly, since Luke’s cheating admittance. The summer turned to fall and fall into winter, getting colder like you were allowing your heart to do.

A few dates here and there did nothing but remind you that the guy wasn’t Luke. They should’ve been better than Luke since they actually treated you with respect and checked every box that a girl had.

But the lack of teasing, of being the biggest pain in your ass and best friend, made the hole in your life bigger. You were sure nothing would help, not even the texts from Ellen and Jim, periodically, made it better.

They all consisted of the same topic: “How are you doing?”

It was the same old same old, until it wasn’t. Until Ellen texted you after Christmas asking you about your plans for New Year’s Eve. The Hughes had always thrown a party for the New Year, packed to the brim with people.

When Ellen asked if you had plans, you had every intention on lying and saying yes. Saying that you had a date and that he was taking you to see the countdown and fireworks that followed, but something told you to tell the truth. So you did.

After you had admitted to her that you, in fact, would be all alone, she reached out and invitation to join them.

The invitation had toggled in your mind for a few days now. On one hand, you wanted to go see how everybody was, talk to his brothers, catch up with his friends. On the other, you wanted to stay home in your pajamas and watch Andy Cohen get shitfaced with Anderson Cooper while wondering if Luke would kiss somebody for the occasion.

The saying “curiosity killed the cat” proved to be true as you had finally decided to go, a sparkly gold dress accentuated your curves, hugging you in all of the right places, the places that Luke had once yearned for. You don’t know how, but your makeup was flawless, your eyeshadow bringing out your eyes in a way that you had never seen, but you loved it. Maybe this was revenge?

Even though you hadn’t made the drive in over 6 months, you still knew it like the back of your hand. Your nerves were working overtime, anxiety squeezing your thoughts the closer you got to the Hughes’ residence.

What if Luke had a new girlfriend? What if his parents were the only ones that wanted you there? Was this actually a good idea?

Too late now.

There was probably 25 or more cars that littered the driveway, most carrying a minimum of 2 people. It was a relief, maybe you could just blend in with the rest of them. A chameleon in the house of your ex lover.

Music blared, drifting from the backyard into the front, making the walk to the door less daunting of a task. There was no use in knocking, the sound of talking and music would most likely just drown it out, so you took a breath as you pushed the door open. It appeared to be the spot for the more mature crowd, Jim spotting you as soon as you walked in.

He was confused as to who you were at first, but as soon as you gave him a shy smile his face lit up with excitement. He had missed you more than he realized.

“Y/N! What a nice surprise! Come in, make yourself at home,” He squeezed you in a tight hug before relinquishing you.

“Y/N! Oh my, I wasn’t expecting you to come, but I’m so glad you did!” Ellen squealed, the clinking of her heels against the hardwood floors becoming faster as she did her best to jog to you, embracing you like her life depended on it. It lasted a few seconds before she held you out at arms length, examining you.

“Gosh, you look absolutely stunning! That dress was made for you!” She gushed.

“Thank you! I just decided to throw something together last minute. I should have let you know I was coming, but I honestly didn’t decide until right before I got dressed,” you chuckled, explaining the lack of communication on your part.

“Honey, you do not have to explain a single thing to me! I’m just so happy you’re here!” She hugged you again, rocking you side to side.

“The kids, sorry, young adults are out back. I do have to warn you…Luke did bring a date,” As she explained the dilemma, you expected yourself to break down. When it didn’t, relief washed over you. It had been almost 7 months, why wouldn’t Luke have moved on? You couldn’t be mad at him for that part, but you still held a grudge against him for allowing you to love him as much as you did and shattering your heart in the end.

There was never another conversation between the two of you. His parents never brought him up, he had never attempted to contact you, so the resolve was the fact that you returned everything. He had nothing left connecting him to you. That was how it was supposed to be, so there was no need to communicate with you. He had gotten the message loud and clear when he had returned home to a box of his things in his old bedroom and an ass-chewing from his parents and brothers. One that he would never wish on his worst enemy.

He learned from his mistake, but felt like the very toxic situation between the two of you was better left where it was: untouched.

He had been trying to move on ever since, sleeping with any girl that reminded him of you, sneaking them out before Jack had noticed, or simply just embracing the newness of being alone. It sucked at first, but he got used to it.

Ellen’s face flushed with concern at the momentary silence that followed her statement, scared that she would scare you off with the news of her son, your ex, having a date that wasn’t you.

“Ellen, it’s ok! I’m a big girl, I can handle it,” Making light of the situation was easier to fake on the outside, but trying to convince yourself was a bit harder.

You talked to Ellen and Jim for a few more minutes, catching them up on the latest details of your life, and then grabbed a Michelob to give you some liquid courage as you walked to the backyard.

There was people dancing, circles of people talking, various games being played, the scene never-ending as your eyes scanned over them. A few people locked eyes with you, recognizing you as the ex, but most everybody just continued to do whatever it was that they were doing. It wasn’t until Quinn’s eyes softened from his party vibes to concerned big brother that you felt nerves wrack your body. He immediately excused himself from the group he was talking to, making his way through the small sea of people to get to you.

For a split second you wanted to run away, but the rational side of you talked you down. It was just Quinn. Quinn had done nothing to you except loved you as if you were his own sister, so why would you run?

“Y/N! I wasn’t expecting you…how are you?” You immediately threw your arms around his torso, him returning the gesture, his hug similar to the way Ellen had hugged you.

“I’m good! I had no other plans and Ellen seemed like she really wanted me here…”

“Yeah, she hasn’t shut up about you,” He laughed, recalling how his mom mentions you anytime a girl was over, even one that Luke brought, and always comparing them to you when they left.

You were the standard that she held possible daughter-in-laws to, but they never lived up to you, she would admit.

“Gotta love her,” You chuckled, a slight awkward tension fell between you, a foreign, icky, awkwardness.

“That you do,” Quinn tried to repair the conversation, but some friends began to pull him away. He had mentioned to not leave before telling him bye, and then left with the group.

“Didn’t think you’d show up here,” The voice turned your blood to ice, freezing up what the beer had tried to let loose prior. No matter how many ways you envisioned this interaction to go down, nothing could have prepared you for hearing his voice after so long. It wasn’t like “nails on a chalkboard” irritating, but more along the lines when you pick a scab and it starts bleeding again.

That’s quite literally what it was. He was an old wound in your life that was becoming irritated because it was being messed with. No matter how much time had passed, it was still sensitive.

“Well, didn’t think I would be here either. It’s just as much a surprise to me as it is to you,” You turned around, met with the beautiful, curly-haired boy that was once your everything and a petit blonde that was his temporary. She was gorgeous, you’d give her that. But it wasn’t real beauty. It was bought. There’s nothing wrong with that, but her bleach blonde hair, fake tan, and push-up bra was irritating like nails on a chalkboard.

“Do you mind going to get us something to drink?” He turned to his date, giving him the empty bottle that his hand wrapped around.

“Is that a Michelob Ultra?” You almost snorted, her question a breath of fresh air in this unfortunate meeting.

“Not her and I, you and I,” Luke quickly cleared up.

She left with a smirk playing at her lips, kissing his cheek and heading inside.

“God, please let’s go somewhere else,” He grabbed your arm, tugging you to a secluded, area beside the shed out back. Your brain told you to rip your arm from his grip and scold him for thinking it was okay to ever touch you again, but your deemed in control and allow his touch to erupt butterflies in your tummy.

“I don’t know what I was thinking bringing her here,” he groaned, realizing he was still holding onto you, quickly letting go.

“She seems more Jack’s type, if you ask me,” You suggested, Luke squinting his eyes at your words.

“Good thing I didn’t ask…” He may have been the reason the relationship ended, but he wasn’t going to put up with any slander that you had for his current life. The life that didn’t include you.

“Whatever, why did you bring me here?” You looked around at the spot. It had definitely been a spot where the two of you had snuck off to make out several times, escaping the teasing of his older brothers.

“To talk…” He shift his weight to his heels, his hands finding warmth in the pockets on his pants.

“Oh! To talk about you being a complete dipshit and cheating on me this past summer? Yes, let’s talk about that!” Sarcasm dripped from your voice like venom from a snake, targeting the next victim: Luke.

“I’m sorry…” Again, the empty apologies were beginning to grind at you now. You didn’t want the apologies or the excuses. You wanted him to shut up for once, hear you out, and then come up with a genuine apology. He had said his piece, now it was time for you to say yours.

“No, Luke. You’re not sorry for cheating, you’re sorry you got caught. Save the apologies for when you actually mean them,” You started, him immediately shutting up and listening.

“We were so fucking toxic. You know it, I know it. The whole world probably knows it by now. But, God, I loved you so much. I would have spent my whole life trying to fight for that stupid relationship and you turned around and threw it all away. And for what? Some temporary pleasure? You couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to get back to me?” Your words shot through him, like bullets hitting glass, shattering the surrounding areas. He couldn’t argue because everything that you were saying was true, but he’d be damned if he let you find satisfaction in being right.

“You said it yourself, it was toxic! You probably would’ve found a problem with me being there without you, anyway!” He tried to defend himself, but he was fanning a flame that he shouldn’t be messing with right now.

“Don’t you dare try to manipulate me into thinking your cheating was justified! Luke Hughes, I’ve said some fucked up shit throughout the years, but I never have, and never will ruin your trust. That’s the type of shit that lasts a lifetime. I can’t date anybody else because there’s always that ‘what if’ of them cheating!” Tears brimmed your eyes, softening the wall that surrounded Luke’s heart. He was a tough guy, but the sight of you hurting was a soft spot for him, an Achilles heel.

“You promised me a future, and then turned around and burned it to the ground without a second thought once you got a taste of fame,” Your finger poked at his chest hard enough for him to wince, expecting to see bruises the next morning.

“You’re a liar! A fucking liar and cheater!” Your voice broke as the words left your mouth, but Luke took the verbal beating that he deserved.

“Do you think I want to be labeled as a cheater, Y/N?! I’ve prayed for months that I’d just wake up and it not be real, that we’d still be together!”

“Awe, so sad, Luke. Truly heart wrenching!” You grabbed at your heart, feigning compassion as he began to clench his jaw, the muscle flexing as his annoyance rose. It was hot, but not hot enough for you to do anything about it.

“Stop being such a bitch, it may suit you, but it doesn’t mean you have to wear it.” His eyes grew dark, almost challenging you to see who would win in a game of insults.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I was supposed to act however you deemed fit. Even if you’re a cheater…”

“I cheated, I’m not a cheater,” he tried to correct, a viscous chuckle tumbling from your mouth in response.

“I’m not! That’s the one and only time that it will ever happen, I can promise you that!” His voice rose in volume as he continued to defend himself.

“Oh, one and done Luke! How nice! My trust is fixed, so there’s nothing left to worry about!” The sound of people counting down in the background didn’t distract you.

10…9….8…

“If I’ve had anything in the past months it’s peace in knowing I don’t have to put up with your fucking nagging anymore!”

7…6…5…

“Yeah, and I don’t have to worry about you fucking some rando anymore!”

4…3…2…

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

1…

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The voices erupted behind the shed, but the whirlwind of a kiss muffled it all.

Luke eagerly pulled your face toward him, his lips colliding as intensely as a train hitting a car on the tracks. An accident waiting to happen, but there nothing that could be done about it.

It took a second or two, but you kissed back with the same passion as him, him pushing you backwards until your back hit the wall of the shed.

His lips were like home, sweet and comforting. The remnants of his vodka redbull tempting your taste buds to plunge deeper, but you didn’t, you let him set the pace.

One of his hands tilted your chin up, steadying it as the other pulled you closer from the small of your back. Every sense inside of you erupted in fireworks as his tongue tried to gain entrance into your mouth, but you stood your ground, or tried to at least.

The hand that steadied your chin found itself wrapped around your neck, the shock causing you to gasp as he gained entrance.

“Luke! I finally found something to drink, but we missed our-” The voice immediately tore the two of you apart, the fireworks over the lake and store bought pretty interrupting the fireworks that were going off inside of you. Your breathing was a little shallow as you tried to control it again.

“-kiss. What the hell.” She glanced between the two of you before storming off, her stiletto sinking into the grass as she desperately tried to remove it from her foot.

Luke groaned, but the chirping had just begun for you, “One and done, huh?”

“Me and her aren’t even dating!” He squealed.

“We’re talking about this tomorrow, Y/N. Do you understand me?” He pointed at you as he began to smooth over yet another failed attempt at dating, but he wasn’t going to reconcile that one.

“Aye aye, Captain,” You gave him a silly salute, earning an eye roll from him, but as soon as he turned away from you the smile wouldn’t disappear.

Call you crazy, but you hadn’t felt butterflies for a long time, probably since his note to you. What you felt tonight was an army of butterflies being obliterated by fireworks. The feeling of his fingers around your neck, his jaw muscle contracting, everything about him had turned you on.

Did you really fold that easily?

Oh well. The thought of the next day, the possibility of getting him back, along with his family far outweighed your pride.

He could be your Luke once more.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Chapter 5: Duel of Fates – A Perilous Encounter in the Darkened Hall

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Warnings: reader's death, language

Genre: Isekai, Romance, Fantasy

Synopsis: Your life takes a tragic turn as you perish in a car crash, only to awaken in a whimsical world of fantasy with none other than Jujustu Kaisen characters as its main protagonists. But as if that wasn't enough, you're about to marry the prince version of Gojo Satoru. How will you navigate through this world of history and fantasy? Does your life take the same sudden twist of fate as that of your favorite characters?

<- Previous Chapter l Next Chapter ->

„How did you already catch my name?”, he purrs at you with his sickening low voice.

You can’t deny the fact that you found him pretty hot in the manga and anime. But back then, he wasn’t more than a 2D character. Seeing that death machine standing right in front of you with his piercing appearance and 6’2” lingering over you like an unpromising shadow is completely different.

“Your reputation precedes you”, you press out while freeing your shivering body out of his grasp.

Fuck, you can literally feel your heart dropping to the floor. This is bad, even worse than being next to Gojo’s side. Does that man kill as he pleases in this world as well, is he on his way to end Gojo? Your eyes widen in sheer horror while your thoughts spin around you like a carousel out of control.

“May I ask for your name?”

“My name? What do you want to do with my name?”, you reply in an instant.

He tilts his head to the side, his low laughter forcing your whole body to shiver in nothing but fright.

“You’re acting as if I’m here to kidnap you. I saved you from falling over, is your name too much for ask for?”

“(y/n) Zenin”, you mumble under your breath.

Thank god for those glittery gloves Gojo forced you to wear. Without them, your hands would be covered in cold sweat by now. You need to get a hold on yourself, tame down your screaming heart. Toji won’t attack you at a random ball in a hallway, right?

“A Zenin, huh? I feel sorry for you.”

What? You furrow your eyebrows at him. What the hell is this guy talking about?

Oh.

You’re such an idiot.

“Must be nice that they kicked you out of that cursed family”, you comment dryly before you’re able to stop yourself.

Screw your loose mouth and the urge to always voice your thoughts. This was probably the dumbest move you could have made. In the manga, only a handful of people know about Toji and that he was in fact a part of the Zenin clan until they decided to kick him out because he lacked of cursed energy. Out of all people, you shouldn’t be the one who knows about this, you shouldn’t be the one to meet him in an empty hallway in the first place.

“I should get-“

“You’re not going anywhere, Lady (y/n). Just as I expected when I first saw you here, you aren’t an ordinary girl that chases after the prince. Your father forces you into this, huh? Tells you that he’ll kill you if you don’t marry that guy.”

He grabs your wrist with almost no pressure.

“This has to be a family thing”, you mumble to yourself until his cold glare meets yours.

“I swore to myself to wipe out the entire Zenin family after what they did to me, after what they forced me to do”, he mutters.

All color drains from your face as your glossy eyes stare at him. What are you supposed to do? Scream, run, cry for help? Your body refuses to move a single inch, his orbs keeping you in place.

“I won’t be a Zenin anymore after marrying Prince Gojo”, you breathe out.

“Too bad I can’t stand that brat on the throne either.”

You swallow down the knot that builds up inside of your throat. Don’t panic, you need to focus and choose your words wisely. But…how are you supposed to stay focused when that sickening force of a man grabbed your wrist and pierces through your mind with his stone-cold orbs?

“Too bad indeed. I’m in that game just like you are”, you press out as his grasp tightens.

Oh, you are so dead before your life even began, killed by your own “cousin”. Why did you never even think about the possibility that Toji might show up here as well? If he’s coming for Gojo just like he did in the manga, if he really dares to lay hands on Geto and Gojo…Why wouldn’t he kill an insignificant side character? You weren’t even a part of the Jujutsu Kaisen verse in the first place.

So that’s it? You, dying through the hands of Toji Fushiguro?

"Oh, look who decided to grace us with his presence. How delightful to see you here, lurking in the shadows like a true gentleman. I must say, your timing is impeccable as always. But for now, may I ask you to take your hands off my fiancé, Sir?”

A wave of relief washes over you when you catch a glimpse of those iconic bright blue eyes emerging from the darkness next to you.

“I humbly beg your pardon, but apparently I forgot your name, Sir. You know, I’m not apt at recalling the names of gentlemen these days”, Toji replies with a satisfied grin.

“It’s Prince Satoru for you. Who am I speaking to?”, Gojo replies coldly.

With a swift motion he’s standing right by your side, releasing you from the threatening grip of Toji’s hand around your wrist.

That was a close call. Way too close for your liking. If it wasn’t for Gojo to come around at just the right time, that guy would have folded you immediately.

“Sir Toji, Your Highness. Now excuse me, even though it was a pleasure to meet you, I have to return to my other responsibilities. I hope we meet each other again soon, Lady (y/n).”

You don’t even dare to answer, avoiding his gaze like the plague as he disappears into darkness again. A nauseous flood of fear gets a hold of your heart. Out of instinct, you hold onto Gojo’s sleeves tightly while the hallway gets filled with the haunting sound of your heavy and uneven breathing.

This is it, the closest you’ve been to dying again after getting reincarnated into this world – after no more than maybe 48 hours. Your heart feels like exploding any given minute, ears ringing so violently that you fail to understand a single word Gojo tries to tell you. Is this really how your life will come to an end all over again? After all, everyone in Jujutsu Kaisen seems to die. And you’re nothing but a little side character in this story, someone who wasn’t even meant to exist in the first place.

“Lady (y/n), what has gotten into you?”, Satoru repeats over and over again while grabbing your shoulders in order to keep you from falling.

That naked fright glittering in your orbs he knows oh too well, the haunted expression that is written on your face. What did that man say to you before he arrived here? He should have never let you out of sight in the first place, not when there are so many people around who want to see him dead.

“Find us a private room, Suguru. I need to calm her down before returning.”

“Of course.”

Like in trance, you allow Gojo to pick you up and carry you down the hallway, your fingers intertwined with the fabric of his fine suit in a way that doesn’t allow you to let go ever again.

There’s no doubt in the fact that your life will end if you meet Toji like this again. Who else did you forgot, who else do you need to look out for? Is this really how it has to be now? Living your new-found life in constant fear, surrounded by nothing but people who want to see you dead? Apparently, not even marrying the prince of this goddamn kingdom is enough to find peace.

“(y/n), look at me.”

What if you get poisoned or choked in your sleep?

“(y/n), I need you to focus on me.”

Or worse, what if they torture you in order to gain any information about your soon-to-be-fiancé?

“(y/n), come back to me.”

He grabs your face with both hands and comes so close that you can’t escape his stinging bright blue eyes. Suddenly everything turns silent for a brief moment, leaving only you, Gojo and your racing heart behind.

“I don’t know what or who haunted you like this, but you are alright. You are save with me, do you understand?”

“You’re a fool if you think you can protect me.”

“Who if not me? Isn’t that why you chose me as your fiancé and begged me to take you back?”

“Begging you to take me back!?”

You spring back onto your feet faster than Gojo is able to regret his poor choice of words, orbs shooting pure venom his way.

“I begged in no way for you to take me back. We have a contract, right? We are trading partners”, you clarify sharply.

“Trading partners, right”, Gojo mumbles.

“But still, I’ll watch over you. It’s my responsibility to-“

“You can’t protect me from this world”, you interrupt him, shaking your head vehemently.

“This world is my world and I know it all too well. Give me a little bit of your trust, you won’t regret it.”

“Oh yeah? I can’t even trust you over your vows and all those beautiful disgusting words you’ll say later on, about how much you adore me and that I’m the only one for you”, you bark back at him.

You’re being ridiculous and you know it, nothing but the purest frustration catching up with you.

This is unfair, almost too much to bear. You never asked for any of this, never dreamed about being on this man’s side or getting to wear those pretty dresses, you never wanted to be a princess.

“In this world, you’ll be my only. And I’ll make sure everyone in this way too glamorous room will have no doubt in my deep feelings for you. I’ll make sure that no harm ever reaches you, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Prince Gojo”, you bite back.

When he leans closer, your breath gets stuck in your throat all over again. What a mess of feelings and words, what a pile of chaos you maneuvered yourself into. Is this really worth the potential freedom you’ll gain afterwards? There’s no guarantee that your plan works out. What if you get killed before that? What if Gojo changes his mind?

The feeling of his warm hand resting on your shoulder rips you out of your train of thoughts.

“Hands off”, you bark at him while slapping his hand away.

“"I’m not one of your mistresses, and you’ve got more than enough to keep you busy already, don’t you think?"

But instead of having the decency to at least look shocked or caught, Gojo smirks at you the way he always did with his hands raising in mock surrender.

"Come on now, don’t believe everything you hear. Besides, I’ve got high standards—can’t be wasting my time on just anyone," he replies with a wink.

“Prince Satoru, Lady (y/n), guests start to wonder where you went. I’d kindly advise you to return to the ball and end what you started”, Suguru’s voice suddenly bites through the thick tension between both of you.

Fuck, you got way too close. You distract your shaky fingers by hectically straighten your already perfect-sitting dress while avoiding Gojo’s gaze at all cost.

“You are more than right. Let us get this over with”, you mumble before storming out of the room.

Suguru raises an eyebrow as he watches you leave in a hurry, then turns to Gojo with his head tilted to the side.

“What was that about? I have never seen you struggle so hard to keep your hands to yourself, Prince Gojo”

Gojo chuckles, running a hand through his hair with his gaze still glued to the door you stormed through.

“Oh, come on, Suguru. She's not like the others, way more… unpredictable.”

Suguru scoffs, crossing his arms.

“You? Interested in someone who doesn’t throw themselves at you? That’s new.”

Gojo’s grin widens, his gaze still lingering where you disappeared.

“Exactly. Makes it more fun, don’t you think? Now, let me propose to her.”

Tags: @m0k0k0 @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @risuola @fire-loving-siren

@sunshine7queen @gatitam @kentocalls @hellkaiserinphoenix @skylarlyn823

@livmarauder @nothisispatrick300 @haileycannotcometothephonern @xstom @byakuya61085

@arehzhera @ttysmfwna @miizuzu @erensfavve @rubyninja1

@luvsymai

[thegoldfishkid13]

Granted Jasper Hale x Human Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst

word count: 621

Type: angst with fluffy ending

Masterlist

   I slammed my fist on the table, not caring about the pain that sprung up my wrist. Everything that had led up to the fight was too much. I had given him everything and he has given me nothing in return, well he has given me pain. My heart hurts, everything I did for him and he turns his back and tries to leave me like this. I can feel the tears stream down my cheeks, his face is unreadable. 

   “Y/n you’re making too big of a deal out of us leaving. It was to keep you safe!” His voice showed more emotion that his face had; he was pleading with me it seemed, but I couldn’t care.

   “ You left… No fucking note, no call. No God Damn Text! Six damn months! Do you know how that made me feel? No you don’t, I felt replaceable and worthless. A piece of trash you could throw away!” I had started to raise my voice, it shook as I spoke. All I wanted to do was sit in bed and cry. I stare into his face, tears that will never fall are pricked in his tear duct. His face showed sorrow and guilt.

  “ I didn’t ask for you to try and protect me, all I asked was for you to stay by my side but you can’t even do that” I turn on my heels, the other cullen members were standing behind me, I passed them and walked out the door; I could hear Jasper call my name but I didn’t care. I got into my care and drove home, or a house I had once called home. As I drove my phone rang and rang, I didn’t pick up, there's nothing that can change my feelings. It's done between me and Jasper. Once I got home I ran straight to my room not even bothering with my parents, they don’t care, all they want is money. I stayed in my room for the rest of the week. I know that it's dramatic but I didn’t want to speak to anyone. It was midnight on Saturday, and a knock on my window, I didn’t get out of bed or anything. I heard the window open and a person step in.

  “ Y/n…I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said what I had said. I am truly sorry that I didn’t call or text you while I was gone. I thought that what I was doing was best but it really hurt the person that I love the most. I love you and I’m so very sorry.” He spoke, tears welled up into my eyes and I sat up to look at him, he was holding a bouquet of flowers and one of your favorite hoodies out his. A tear slipped down my cheek as I got up and hugged him.

 “ I forgive you Jasper” He ran his fingers through my hair and realized that it was all knots and tangles, he realized that I hadn’t been properly taking care of myself.

   “Sit, I will help you detangle your hair, and after that we could cuddle.” I sat down in my desk chair and he grabbed the stuff to start to brush the knots out of my hair. After everything that had happened in the six months that he was gone it was good to have him back, he's the person that I look to most because he gives me energy and happiness. 

   “Thank you jasper” He hummed a thank you in response and continued to brush the knots out, and after we were done we had gotten into my bed and cuddled, I fell asleep knowing that I had my favorite person with me.

[talaok]

Hey, I have this huge exam next week, it’s the biggest exam of my life so far and I’m stressed af. I consider myself a chill person but I’m feeling beyond anxious all the time and I have never felt this stressed in my life. It’s so hard to take care of myself rn like I don’t feel like eating but I have to because I’m nauseous and then I can’t find anything I’d like to eat and it makes me more anxious IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE I SWEAR AND APPARENTLY I HAVE TO EAT EVERY FOUR HOURS EVERY DAY BC I’M A HUMAN??

anyway, sorry for oversharing. I was gonna ask if you could write sth with pedro taking care of stressed reader, making sure she eats and is hydrated, filing up her coffee, cuddling with her when she has crying sessions wiping her tears and telling her everything’s gonna be okay and he’s gonna be there for her with every step no matter what. I literally crave comfort right now, and I’d be so grateful if you could write something 🥹

I love how caring and kind you are with asks, thank you so so so much for being here. Love you 💕💕💕💕

pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

a/n: Im so so sorry love, im one hundred percent sure youll do great, but in the meantime, i hope this will make you feel a little bit better, love you💗💗 (this ask did skip the line bc if i posted it two weeks from now it wouldn't have made any sense)

He didn't know how or when, but all of a sudden, all you did was study.

And at first, he didn't really think anything of it, you'd told him about the exam and about how important it was, so he understood, but what he didn't expect, was just how much you'd be studying.

You raised your head only to answer him, and even when you did, it was monosyllabic.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"no"

"did you drink any water today?"

"not really"

And no matter how many times he'd tell you how bad for you that was, the next time he asked, the answers were always the same. And that's exactly why by the second day, he had stopped asking and instead, started doing.

He had conceived a whole plan of attack.

For the days when he, unfortunately, had to go to work, he left two full water bottles and a glass on your desk, and an already cooked lunch in the fridge, so that all you needed to do was heat it up in the microwave.

But on the days when he didn't have to go to work, he took it upon himself to become your personal assistant, and your worst nightmare altogether.

No matter how much you complained, he forced you to take a break at least every two hours, he made sure you were drinking the water he poured into your glass, he made you coffee every time you asked, (always only after having reminded you that you didn't need more coffee but more sleep) and finally, he cooked or ordered all of your favorite foods in the hopes that it would make you feel more like eating (which never seemed to work).

Today, thankfully, he got to stay home, so for the thousand time, he walked into the studio to check in on you.

"hey there" he smiled, watching you half-heartedly wave at him before returning your full attention to your book "I brought you a snack," he said, placing the apple slices on your desk and making a soft laugh flee your mouth.

He had turned into a soccer mom, but god it felt good to hear you laugh again.

He got behind you to start gently massaging what he was sure must have been sore shoulders.

"how's it going?"

"bad" you grumbled, relaxing the tiniest bit at his touch

"I'm sorry" he murmured, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head "you wanna take a break?"

"It's not been two hours yet"

"I know, but I think it would be good for you" he explained "We could take a walk maybe"

You sighed, closing your eyes "I can't"

"sweetheart" he cooed, crouching down to be at your level and turning your chair towards him "you're gonna burn yourself out if you continue like this"

"I know but..." you glanced back at your notes "I can't fail this exam"

"and you're not gonna" he immediately reassured you

He watched something happen behind your eyes, 

"not if I keep taking breaks"

"baby-" he murmured, taking your hand in his and watching as your mouth curved downwards for the quickest moment 

"I just-I'm so anxious," you said, your voice breaking "I-I can't fail- I just can't"

"hey hey hey" he cooed, his eyes looking for yours "Sweetheart, it's ok"

And that was the moment you couldn't hold it anymore, all the stress and fear you'd been bottling up for days started spilling from your eyes.

"n-no it's not, I-I... I don't even know, I just..." you sobbed, and when you looked at him, he swore he heard his heart break " I feel like shit"

"sugar..." he murmured, wasting no time wrapping his arms around you "I'm so sorry baby," he spoke gently to your ear as his hands stroked your hair and back 

You hid your face in his chest as you cried all you had to cry.

"it's all gonna be alright sweetheart, I promise"

But at that, for some reason, you only started to cry harder.

"ok this is it, hold onto me"

And you had just the time to frown, before he had picked you up and walked out of the room and into the living room.

"w-what are you doing?"

"forcing you to take a break"

"I could have walked" A small smile appeared on your lips, and with it, a small wave of relief washed over Pedro's body.

"You've done enough today" he explained, sitting down on the couch with you, and in less than a moment, your whole body had clung to his.

Your left leg was draped over his, and your head was on his chest, as he held you close with both his arms.

"y/n, you're not gonna fail" he started gently "You're the smartest person I've ever met"

"That's not true" you muttered, your words muffled by his body

"yes it is" he insisted "And baby I promise you, that everything is gonna be alright" he swore, slowly running a hand through your hair "and that no matter what, I'm gonna be here for you, ok?"

It took a moment for you to respond, but after a few beats of silence, a muffled "ok" made its way to Pedro's ears.

"yeah?" he asked, again, encouraging you to meet his gaze.

"yeah" you sniffled, as you finally looked up

"Feeling better?"

"yes" you nodded "Thank you"

He tightened his hug, as he bent down, to ghost your mouth "I love you baby" he kissed you "Whatever you need, I'm always gonna be here for you"

[justmediocrewriting]

Request a Prompt! (NSFW EDITION)

I have a small confession to make: I am thoroughly enjoying the smutty prompt special I currently have ongoing. But I want to branch out to more than just the characters that have been slotted to each prompt; so I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite NSFW prompts (and a few of my own creation) so that you guys can mix and match them with characters of your choosing. I want more smutty goodness to write, and I feel this is best way (excuse) to do so. All participation is welcome, and feel free to request multiple times, or slot multiple prompts to one character!

(If you wish to request anonymously please feel free to via my askbox)

⬇️(WARNING: NSFW CONTENT BELOW!)⬇️

1) “is it your first time, baby?”

2) “I don’t care how good it feels; don’t you dare cum until I say so.”

3) “do you need to use your safe word, baby?”

4) “if you want it so bad, come take it.”

5) “are you sure you want this? I could hurt you.”

6) “if you wanted soft and sweet, you shouldn’t have come to me.”

7) “let me put that mouth of yours to better use.”

8) “what makes you think I’m going to fuck you?”

9) “I’m in charge here. You don’t get to make demands.”

10) “just let me take care of you baby.”

11) “god, you’re shaking. Does it feel that good?”

12) “you taste so fucking heavenly.”

13) “don’t run away.”

14) “you wanted it; now take it.”

15) “you’re so damn tight.”

16) “sit on my face. Now.”

17) “don’t expect me to be gentle.”

18) “do you need help remembering who you belong to?”

19) “I’m sorry baby; I’m not gonna last long.”

20) “you came already? Pathetic.”

21) “god, I want to feel you cum again.”

22) “don’t get shy on me now.”

23) “spread your legs or I’ll do it for you.”

24) “did you just tell me ‘no’?”

25) “you look so good riding my cock.”

26) “don’t you dare stop.”

27) “show me what you like.”

28) “look at how hard you’ve made me.”

29) “can you feel me in there baby?”

30) “think twice before you say yes; because once I start, I’m not stopping.”

31) “can you feel what you’re doing to me?”

32) “hands to yourself.”

33) “don’t stop until I tell you to.”

34) “are you crying?”

35) “I don’t think you want to test me, sweetheart.”

36) “don’t think I won’t bend you over this table and fuck you right here, right now.”

37) “they’re watching, baby. Give them a good show.”

38) “make Daddy come, baby.”

39) “don’t cover up your sounds. Let me hear them.”

40) “do I need to fuck that attitude out of you or will you correct it on your own?”

41) “I’ll do anything you want me to do to you, but you have to say it out loud.”

42) “you’d better watch your fucking mouth.”

43) “How do you feel about two at once?”

44) “if you interrupt me one more time — so help me god.”

45) “the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

46) “if you keep making those sounds I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”

47) “are you going to be good from now on?”

48) “that’s my good girl.”

49) “don’t make me punish you, darling.”

50) “you’ve got me all worked up — now do something about it.”

I look forward to seeing who you choose to pair these prompts with ;) for some of them I had a certain character pop into my mind lol. Have fun and gimme some juiciness to write! Thank you!

Edit: added twenty more prompts for you fiends to choose from! Enjoy ;)

[metallicaislife]

Childhood Friends

A/N: omg this is the longest fic I've written so far. It flowed so smoothly out of my brain I'm gonna cry. 🥹💚

Genre: Fluff, suggestive themes and brief mentions of smut but not explicit

Word Count: 2,180

Warnings: Smoking

When I was young I had a neighbor. He was my best friend. From dawn until dusk we hung out. Whether we wandered the neighborhood on an adventure or at his house as he practiced the bass. He was the kind of person we didn’t need to have constant conversation with to be comfortable. I was absolutely heartbroken at age 14 when my family moved to be closer to my dad’s parents. We called each other every once in a while, but that soon stopped as we got busy with the lives we had going on around us. I’m now in my 20’s and I think about him every so often, I hope he’s doing well, and that all his dreams came true.

It was a typical night, I came home from work. Had a small dinner and curled up on the couch to watch my favorite sitcom. The phone started ringing so I got up to answer it.

“Hello?” 

“Is this, Y/N?” A deep calm voice came over the receiver. 

“Speaking. Who is this?” I asked.

“It’s Cliff.” He spoke. My eyes widened. 

“Cliff? Like Cliff Burton?” I asked. He chuckled. 

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you?” He asked. My heart was thrumming against my chest. 

“I’m doing well. How are you? How did you get my number?” 

“Glad to hear. I’m doing great. I took a chance and looked in a phone book.” He answered me. I laughed. 

“I dunno why I never thought of that.” I said. 

“I called because my band is going to be in your neck of the woods, I’d love it if you came to our show.” 

“You’re in a band?” I asked excitedly. Cliff chuckled.

“Yeah, I am. We’re called Metallica. Do you know where the bar on Main Street and 9th is?” He asked. 

“Sure do. When is the show?” I grinned, feeling giddy. 

“Tomorrow night. Sorry it’s short notice.” He said. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you called. What time is it?” 

“8. I’ll buy you a drink after.” He said. 

“God, last time I saw you we were kids. Where’d the time go?” I leaned against my wall. 

“It’s been far too long. I’m excited to see you.” He said, I could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Me too.” I replied. 

“I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night.” 

“Thanks, see ya tomorrow Cliff.” I said and hung up. 

I pinched myself. Yup that happened. I didn’t fall asleep watching ‘Cheers’ and dreamed of that conversation. I squealed in excitement. 

The following day went by quickly, which I was super grateful for. When I knew Cliff he was playing Thin Lizzy on his bass. I’m curious to see what kind of music he plays. I found a comfortable but cute outfit and left to go to the bar. 

I got a cocktail and waited around. Soon the band Metallica was announced. I spotted him straightaway. It was hard not to. I thought he was tall when we were young. He grew so much more. He was tall and lanky yet toned, his auburn hair long and unruly. His hazel eyes met mine and he grinned. The same smile that brightened my days all those years ago. I smiled back and gave a small wave. 

I’d never heard anything like their music before. It was loud and fast. Absolutely electrifying. I was mesmerized by Cliff, his head banging and the passion emanated off him. 

“Thanks everyone!” The lead singer and rhythm guitarist waved. Cliff caught my eye again and motioned for me to head backstage. I gave a nod and made my way back. He was leaning against a wall with his hands in his pockets. He looked up and grinned. He pushed off the wall and walked toward me pulling me into a bone crushing hug. I hugged him back tightly, uncaring that he was sweaty from his performance. He pulled back and held my shoulders studying me. I grinned staring back up at him. 

“Come on, I’ll introduce you to my bandmates then we’ll get a drink and catch up.” He shifted, placing his arm around my shoulder as he took me back to the green room. 

The drummer was sprawled on a couch fanning himself, the guitarist was drinking some water while sitting on a chair and the lead singer was packing up his equipment.

“Hey guys, I want to introduce you to my childhood friend.” Cliff said. They all looked in our direction and I gave a small wave. 

“Y/N, this is Lars.” He pointed to the drummer, “Kirk,” then to the guitarist, “and James.” He motioned to the lead singer. “Guys this is Y/N, we used to be neighbors growing up.” He introduced. 

“Nice to meet you guys.” I smiled at them. 

“Nice to finally meet you, we’ve heard so much about you. Our guy Cliff here talks about you a lot.” James said. Cliff shot him a look and I stifled a small laugh as my cheeks heated up. 

“Anyways, I already packed my things. We’re gonna go get a drink and catch up.” Cliff said steering me out of the dressing room before any of the others had a chance to say anything. I turned back to wave at them before we exited the room. 

“So you talk about me, huh?” I asked, jabbing him in the ribs playfully. 

“I mean, yeah. You’re really the only person I hung out with until I started playing in bands.” He confessed. I smiled but didn’t say anything further. 

He got us a couple beers and we found a place to sit. 

I was a little worried it would be awkward, we hadn’t seen each other or even talked in years. It was so comfortable though, telling Cliff what I’d been up to, and listening to his stories about how he’s gotten to where he’s at. 

The night was coming to a close and there was a part of me that wondered if this was it. Would I only see him if he came to town for a show? The kind of friends that saw each other maybe once a year to catch up. I didn’t want that. 

“I wanna see you again, soon.” Cliff said as we walked in the crisp night air. 

“Me too.” I responded. 

“You know I thought you moving away was the end of the world. You’re only 45 minutes away though.” He chuckled. 

“As kids that might as well be across the country.” I laughed, he laughed too. 

“Well now we aren’t kids.” He said.

“No we aren’t.” I replied, “So I'll see you soon then?” I asked. He nodded. “Good.” I smiled. He hugged me again and we parted ways.

True to his word, Cliff called the following night, and we made plans to see each other again. Over the course of a few months, we saw each other as much as we could and talked almost every night. Sometimes we didn’t even talk. He’d call and play the bass for me. I knew that I had missed him, but I hadn’t realized how much until he was in my life again. 

“We’re having a party on Saturday, I want you to come.” Cliff said over the phone. 

“Yeah, I can make that. What’s the address?” I asked. I wrote it down as he relayed it to me, and the time, but he said I could come over whenever. 

I took a bus to El Cerrito. I was lucky enough to find the house pretty easily. The party was in full swing. Cliff was on the porch as I walked up. He saw me and his eyebrow furrowed. 

“Where’s your car?” He asked and exhaled his cigarette smoke. 

“In the shop, it’s been giving me trouble so I caught a bus here. I don’t mind, I'll take one home too.” I replied and stuck my hand out. He placed a cigarette in it, I placed it in my lips and he flicked his lighter so I could light it. 

“Don’t be silly, I’ll take you home.” He said. 

“No, it’s okay.” I said. I looked up and his face was stern. 

“Yes, I will drive you home.” Cliff said with finality. I nodded. 

“Thanks.” I replied. Lars came bounding out of the house. 

“I know you like keeping Y/N all to yourself but it’s a party Burton!” Lars said and grabbed my wrist. I laughed as he dragged me into the house. Cliff rolled his eyes and followed after us. 

The night was filled with laughter as we made memories I will carry with me until the end of my days. 

The party wound down and people were falling asleep. 

“Ready to go?” Cliff asked me as I leaned against the porch smoking a cigarette.

“Yup.” I smiled and put the cigarette out. 

Neither of us got obliterated like the others so we were good for travel. 

“Next time I’ll spend the night so we can party a little harder.” I said. 

“You’re always welcome to.” Cliff grinned and opened the car door for me. I slid in and buckled up. Cliff got in and started the car. 

“There are some tapes in the glovebox.” He said. I opened it up and looked through them. I smiled seeing the first Thin Lizzy album he shared with me, ‘Vagabonds of the Western World’. I put it in, his face lit up as the music played through the speakers. 

The car ride was mostly silent, occasionally singing along to the music. I stared out the window, and I could feel what I’ve been wanting to say to him for a couple weeks bubbling beneath the surface. 

“I love you.” I said aloud as I continued staring at the darkness outside. 

“I love you, too.” Cliff replied. 

“No, Cliff, I’m in love with you.” I said refusing to look in his direction. I don’t think my heart could handle it if I saw a look of disgust pass across his features. His hand came to rest on my thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze. I finally tore my gaze from the darkness and looked over feeling completely vulnerable. He kept his gaze on the road, but he glanced over, the look on his face the opposite of what I had imagined. 

“I’m in love with you, too.” He replied. I smiled and placed my hand on his, giving it a squeeze as I looked back out the window. A huge weight felt as if it had been lifted from my shoulders. 

We arrived at my place not long after and he walked me to the door. 

“Why don’t you spend the night, it’d be silly to drive all the way here just to head back.” I offered as I unlocked my door. 

“I think you’re just trying to get into my pants.” He teased me as he moved my hair out the way so he could place a kiss on my neck. 

“Maybe a little of both.” I teased back. I opened the door and he followed me in. He shut and locked my door. He turned around and placed his hands on my waist. We stared at one another. The only sound is our even breathing. Cliff tucked my hair behind my ear, he cupped my face and brought his lips down to meet mine. I’ve been kissed before, but never like this. It took my breath away. 

We stumbled clumsily through my apartment giggling and losing clothes along the way. We laid in bed and worshiped each other for hours. Learning each other's bodies inside and out. 

We laid in each other's arms, sweaty and worn. I traced soft shapes on his chest as he tickled my back. 

“How are you feeling?” Cliff asked softly. 

“Content.” I replied and kissed his chest. Cliff chuckled. 

“Thank you for telling me how you feel.” He said. 

“If I held it in any longer I think I would’ve combust.” I replied and placed my chin on his chest so I could look at him. His hazel eyes in the dim light held so much love and adoration. I hoped as he looked back he could see that same look mirrored in my eyes. “Thanks for reaching out and inviting me to your show. If you hadn’t, we probably wouldn’t be here.” I said. 

“It was a long shot, but I really missed you. I loved you back then, ya know. But I never could have imagined how much further I could have fallen for you.” He said. My heart skipped a beat and buried my head in his chest. He chuckled and kissed my head. 

I wish I had a Time Machine so I could go back and tell the heartbroken girl that had to move away from her best friend that it wouldn’t be that way forever. She was able to grow up and fall deeply in love with the quiet boy next door who played his bass so passionately.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to request or chat :)

-Isa

[catholickedd]

Hey Cath, how was Hozier???

i’m glad you asked!!!!!!!

- got so excited i cried

- chatted with a nice drunk british woman because we were both lost

- Madison Cunningham is really good!!!!!

- everyone sang along to season of the sticks while house lights were up and they were still setting up

- he came on and i almost started crying again

- started with de selby which was crazy esp the transition from pt 1 to pt 2

- next was “from eden” which was accompanied by a lot of happy screaming

- taught us to sing “to be alone,” saying “it doesn’t have to be perfect on the first try”

- we didn’t do very well

- he said “i was kinda lying about that”

- jackie and wilson was crazy

- so was francesca (I’D TELL HIM PUT ME BACK IN IT!!!!!!!)

- dinner and diatribes was really fun

- damage gets done? more like DAMNage gets do- okay. okay. yes i’m sorry. i’ll see myself out

- movement. wow. oh my god

- the lights on cherry wine were amazing plus he let us sing a verse of it

- would that i is my dad’s favorite and the “woah-oh-oh-ohs” from the audience sounded incredible

- he gave a heartfelt speech about the sacrifice the choctaw people made for the irish after the trail of tears, because we were in choctaw nation

- this directly preceded butchered tongue which made me cry

- he said “we do have a joke about having this next song to sort of lighten the mood a bit & bring some levity to this part of the set, er, so, here’s a song i wrote about seeing an animal get hit by a car as a child”

- he then played abstract (psychopomp)

- everyone singing along to “see how it shines” sounded AMAZING

- like real people do was sweet bc the lesbian couple in front of us kissed & you could tell it was like a special song for them

- almost sweet music AAAAAAAAA

- eat your young was really cool and accompanied by some nice visuals

- first light. you guys. you would have died

- take me to church was the song in which i lost my voice because i screamed so much

- they then left and i got really sad

- SURPRISE ENCORE!!!!!

- they did nina cried power which was amazing to hear live & the backup singer killed it!!!!

- unknown/nth, hhhhhhhh ohhhhh my godddddd

- everyone sang along in the bridge to that one

- he did the closer with madison cunningham, which was work song, which sounded beautiful

- bought 2 shirts and a bag that said “to share the space with simple living things”

- best first concert ever.

[snowangeldotmp3]

dear barb;

hello hello >:) i come bearing a letter. general warning: this is in first person, because there's no way else to write a letter...so if first person pov is not your thing, kindly keep scrolling! <3 i'll be uploading this to ao3 too, if anyone feels more comfy reading it there!

i don't do taglists, but dio asked so kindly to be tagged so!! @flowercrowngods !! <3 now, onto the letter!

barb,

i don’t know why i’m writing this. max said it helped, and i miss talking to you, so here we are. i brought you some flowers. tulips, your favorites. i don’t even know if you can hear me, wherever you are, i hope you can. i hope it’s nice.

a lot has changed since that night. they found will, they found another girl too. they built a mall, then it got destroyed. then hawkins got split in half.

there’s a lot that’s changed, not just in hawkins, but everything. i’ve changed. for worse or for better, i’m not sure i know yet.

i broke up with steve. turns out we weren’t good for each other, and i wasn’t really myself when i was with him. you knew that, too. you were right about him, about me.

i guess you also know about the upside down. i won’t have to sugar coat anything.

we tried to find you, by the way. jonathan and i. we went out in the woods trying to hunt the monster that got will and got you, too. we thought if we found it and killed it, we’d find both of you.

we were wrong. i’m sorry. i should’ve listened to you. maybe if i had you’d still be here. or maybe if we had never gone to steve’s house at all. maybe we could’ve avoided all of this.

you want to know something really selfish? when will came back, i was angry. god, i was so, so angry. i mean, i was glad that jonathan got his brother back and that mike had his best friend back but…i don’t know. i couldn’t stay in the room long, it hurt too much. to know that they got their friend back but i couldn’t get mine. it didn’t make sense. it wasn’t fair. they were allowed to get their best friend back but mine was dead because of me. you weren’t coming back. we wouldn’t have anymore sleepovers and movie nights and study sessions. you were gone.

gone. gone. gone.

i waited until i got home before i started crying. i didn’t want mike to see me upset after his best friend came back. i ran upstairs, locked the door, grabbed an old sweater that you left at my house and cried until i threw up. i still have the sweater. it was the one you gave me on halloween in ’82, when it got so cold it snowed.

after that everything was blurry for a little bit. numb. i turned sixteen and didn’t even care because we made plans for that and you weren’t there. my mom tried to make a big deal out of it, but it wasn’t the same. i needed you.

i still need you.

then your birthday came up, in the summer. you were supposed to turn seventeen. i don’t think i even got anything done that day. mom thought i was sick but i just kept playing every moment back in my head. every movie night, every sleepover, every phone call—all the way up to knowing you were gone. to knowing i couldn’t call you that day and say “happy birthday,” because there was nobody to call.

it was also the same day i decided that whoever did this to you, whoever created the upside down, needed to pay. i know i can’t ever really give you justice, but i can try. the lab—the ones who created all of this—got shut down. we had to water the story down though, had to say that it was a chemical spill that killed you. not a monster from another dimension.

not that it was me.

we had a funeral for you. i couldn’t stay there too long, either. it hurt too much. The funeral and the fact that you weren’t even in the casket. it was a nice funeral though, the parts that i stayed for. i left before they lowered the casket in. i didn’t want to say goodbye to you, even if i knew you weren’t even in there, it just made it too real.

i still think about that night. i think about how i should’ve listened to you and that maybe we could’ve stopped it and maybe then you would’ve graduated with the rest of us, instead of rotting in the upside down. how maybe we would’ve gone to the same college like we had planned to do. how we would’ve gone to prom. how we would’ve celebrated your eighteenth, how you’d had that planned for years, and how we were supposed to celebrate it together.

how you’re sixteen forever.

how i should’ve listened to you. how it should’ve been me instead. how maybe i could’ve stopped it. i used to spend every night hoping, praying, that it was all just a bad dream and that i would see you at school the next day. that you weren’t gone, you were still here with me. i’d spend those nights wrapped up in your sweater sobbing, wishing that it would take me too. i didn’t know what to do without you. but i kept going, even if i hadn’t wanted to.

i killed the son of a bitch who did it. partially, at least. i had help from a girl with superpowers, which is…a crazy sentence to write, but, it’s true. we took him down. made him pay. i just wish we hadn’t had to do it at all, you know? i wish that we could’ve been normal teenagers and you would’ve been there to see it.

i didn’t make friends for a long time. not until recently. her name is robin. she reminds me a lot of you, actually. not that i’m replacing you, you can’t be replaced. she said that you guys were friends before we were, which is insane to me. maybe that’s why we work, she’s so similar to you anyway, it almost feels like you’re still here. she’s like another connection to you, someone who actually remembers you. someone who actually knew you. maybe in another life we could’ve all been friends. i like to think we would’ve been. i would’ve liked that.

i’m leaving you with an old photo of us, the ones we took at that little kiosk in that mall in Terre Haute, so you’ll have a little of me with you. there were two copies, one for me, and one for you. i know those were your favorites, and i hate to think that you’d be lonely wherever you are, so I’m leaving these with you.

i’ll write you another letter sometime, it might be a while before the next one, but for this, i really just wanted to say; i’m sorry. i should’ve listened to you.

i’m sorry. i wish you were here. it should’ve been me.

i miss you.

i love you

yours always, nancy.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Hello From the Other Side

First posted: July 4, 2019

Focuses on: Tony Stark and Peter Parker (MCU)

Favorite bookmark: "Crying, crying."

Tier: Bottom bottom bottom, so little love or attention

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

Yet another reactionary Endgame fic. You'd think as much as that movie bothered me that I would've chucked it all for a true canon-is-dead fix-it, but no. I don't remember which nugget in this fic sparked its existence. My guess is it was just hearing the character voices in my head. Say what you will about MCU's Tony and Peter, but their voices are distinct and very easy to write.

“This is not the voicemail you are looking for. Nah, I’m just kiddin’, this is Peter’s phone. I’m off saving the galaxy with a princess and a scruffy-looking nerfherder, but leave a message after the beep and I’ll get back soon as I can.” [BEEP] ——— [SILENCE] ——— [SILENCE] ——— [SILENCE] ——— “Hey, uh, Peter, it’s me… God, this is stupid. This is so stupid. I can’t—“ ——— “Look. I don’t want to do this, but Pepper’s threatening to keep me in the hospital until I talk to someone. And I can’t. I just can’t. Not about this. Not to anyone. Not to you, either, if this were real, but this… you’re not…” [SILENCE]

Figuring out how to write out transcripts of voicemails was a painnnnnnn. I'm still not sure how clear it is for anyone not in my head, but I went with bold text for the machine message (and the Star Wars joke seemed like the obvious choice!), and the <hr> breaks marked off each call (so the first three silences, for example, are Tony calling and then hanging up without saying anything.) I also wanted to be able to denote long pauses within a call, too, so having the bracketed SILENCE markers were important.

I could call someone in, but they don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say. And I close my eyes and I just… I see stars. So here’s the deal. You’re asleep. You’re asleep, and I’m being that asshole Tony Stark not checking the time and getting your voicemail. That’s all this is, got it? I’m gonna sit here and ramble into this phone like a lunatic because it’s late and I’m sleep deprived, and tomorrow you’ll listen and give me a hard time about it.

Figuring out why Tony was doing what he was doing was a challenge, too, because it had to make sense, it had to be consistent with his character, he had to know why, AND he had to be willing to at least say some of it out loud. That's how dialogue works, with all those internal filters and lenses, and that's why writing characters who don't just say whatever they want is such a pain.

She’s gone. She’s gone, Pete, and I’m so, I’m so sorry. She was on shift at the hospital and the security feed caught everything. I tried to find… I tried to find anyone. Anyone. Pepper helped. My strength’s not… it’s still not up to par, you know. We looked. I swear we did. Your, uh, your buddy. Your guy in the chair, Ned. He’s gone, too. I found his mom and his little sister. Made sure they were taken care of. Your friend Michelle, too. That bastard of a grape wiped out your whole decathalon team. The guy in the corner store, Mr. Delmar, he’s around, but his family’s gone.

Per my note on the fic itself, I wrote the majority of this before Far From Home. And I'm really hecking chuffed it's canon compliant.

There was another ceremony today. I know I said I wasn’t going to go to another one, and I didn’t, but it was on TV.

Figuring out the timing and cadence of the calls was tricky, too. The conceit I settled on was this fic is just a small collection of the voicemails made, not all of them. Tony would have called way, way more over the years, about big things and small things and nothing at all, just for comfort, and no way was I writing all of that. This was just for slice of life stuff, which also made for a neat trick where I could reference a thing and not have to explain it too much.

The TV we don’t have anymore, by the way. I blasted it halfway through the first speech. Scared Happy half to death. He came tuck-and-rolling into my room but got his shoe caught on a power cord.

I binged so so so many IronDad & SpiderSon fics back in 2019, holy smokes. Happy goofs was such a staple of the genre.

Oh, and get this, lots of lovely famines popping up, because Mr. I’m-Gonna-Murder-Scarcity snapped half the world’s food supply.

I remain deeply, deeply bitter over how stupid "the snap" was.

‘m drunk. V’r v’r drunk. FRIDAY-was-yellin’ drunk. Shut her off. World’s ended. [PHHHHBT] [BSHHHH] I d’serve a drink. Any drinks. ‘mean, many drinks. All drinks for Tony. ‘Cause I’ll regret this later but, but I know it. I know it. ‘Cause I’m old. I’m gonna live and live and live.

I have no idea if this is an accurate representation of a drunken grieving voicemail. I do not drink, so any attempt made in fiction that touches on alcohol is me internally letting out a high-pitched leak of a noise and taking a stab in the dark.

You know I listened to ‘em? Ev… ev’ry one. I know you thought I didn’t. I did. I-I knew about you quitting band. The cat you saved from the tree that scratched your arm. The drunk guy you helped home. The d’ble rainbow you spotted over the bridge. Shit, Pete. Is that what this is? Is this my punishment for not picking up?

It is vital to me that Tony Stark did in fact always listen to Peter's messages. I claim the fanon. But also, gotta stab readers in the emotions, kachow.

She, uh. She’s. She’s pregnant, kid. Told me tonight. She said she’d been feeling… And then FRIDAY confirmed it for her with a scan. She’s seven weeks. She’s preh… preg… oh. I, uh.

Of course the first person he tells is a dead boy. He would want him to know.

I can’t do this, Pete. I can’t be a dad. I can’t do it. How do you bring a kid into a world like this, huh? How can you do that to this tiny, defenseless person?

I have to say, reading this a month away from the four-year pandemicaversary? Knowing this was written with no foreknowledge of how wild 2020 and after was going to be? Eerie.

I tried to call and it wouldn’t come up. I got, I got a damn out of service message. No voicemail. No saving the galaxy. You were gone. It was like losing you all over again. Turns out the phone company finally pulled itself together and started closing accounts that had defaulted on payments. With you and your aunt gone, there was no one around to… But don’t worry. I got your phone taken care of. You’re paid off for the next eighty years, give or take. I’m not letting you go anywhere, not ever again.”

At least one of us had to pay attention to real-world logistics, since the Russo Brothers don't seem inclined to—

Turns out I’m really into shiplap. You probably don’t know what that is. Heck, I wouldn’t have known what that is, but Pepper’s got me hooked on these design shows now. For research, you know. You thought I was a genius before, you should hear me now. Recessed lighting, birdsmouth joints, cornices, banquettes, coffered vs tray ceilings, bouclé accents, I know it all. Pepper and I both have very strong feelings about when wainscoting is appropriate.

My mom was also super into shiplap at the time, but I had to google the rest of it. (Funnily enough, I did get into design shows in the pandemic. Like I said, eerie.)

I’m lucky, Pete. I know. I know how mad I’ve gotten when people have said that. I haven’t felt lucky. I don’t think anyone’s felt lucky in the last year. And I know I didn’t lose Pepper, thank God. Rhodey and Happy were still here when I got back. I’m still a billionaire, still a genius, still pretty damn fine if I do say so myself. I didn’t starve to death in space. But god, did I not feel lucky. After all we lost… after what I lost… But I get it now. I do. Because I’m sitting here, holding this new life, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Only thing that’s missing is you.

Figuring out the beats of Tony's path to healing was important, too.

Not to crap on someone else’s happiness, but you know which group made it through intact? The Black-Eyed Peas. What kind of cosmic joke is that?

If they're your thing, good for you, but for me, pure unadulterated loathing. I was fortunate enough to study abroad in 2010 and they followed me everywhere I went. Literally multiple countries across Europe, "I've got a feeling, woooooohoooooo" the whole way. The absolute worst.

There’s no saying you would’ve got to MIT, though. You would’ve gotten in, of course. But a brain like yours? You’d get in anywhere—MIT, Harvard, UC Berkeley, even the Imperial College or Nanyang.

I had to hit a lot of the fic classics and Peter's college choice is one of them. I went to a public university, though, and not for anything STEM-related, so this list was a bunch of googling on my part. Is it accurate? No idea.

They’re rebooting Star Wars. They’re friggin’ rebooting Star Wars. Because everything’s gotta be a cash grab now. Bad enough that they trashed the saga with that awful ending. Now they want to reboot it? A new hope for a new world is the unofficial slogan. Garbage. You watch, they’ll probably shoehorn in those stupid dice from the beginning now and still say Greedo shot first. Maybe Jabba will secretly be Chewbacca’s dad this whole time.

I HAVE SO MUCH STAR WARS RAGE AND YOU KNOW THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF GARBAGE THEY WOULD PULL!!!!

The world should know who you are. They should remember what you did for them. But you never wanted people to know. That’s what I keep coming back to. You chose friendly neighborhood Spider-Man over the Avengers, being a high school kid over famous. Maybe someday people will know. A dramatic deathbed confession by yours truly. But for now, it’ll just be me.

The movies never explained why Peter was never honored, so I took matters into my own hands.

“Bye, Peter, bye! Bye! I love you!”

Morgan knowing exactly who Peter was even without meeting him was also vital.

Not Scott, though. I swear that man’s immortal. Distill him down and bottle him up, there’s your fountain of youth right there. 

Yes, this was a Paul Rudd joke.

"You know who I am and you know what to do." [BEEP] ——— “M-Mr. Stark? Hey. It’s me.”

I went into this knowing exactly how I wanted to end it, down to Tony's outgoing message. So satisfying.

[thegreencanary]

What Size?

Based on this request!

Paring: Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Summary: That time of the month and Eddie is clueless, but he tries to be helpful

TW: Talk of periods and blood

A/N: My work, I don’t give anyone permission to claim it as their own or use it as their work. Thank you!

Finally, Saturday. The day where you had no obligations and you could curl up in your bed with a heating pad and watch tv whilst silently cursing whatever was upstairs that gave you monthly cramps. Settling in with some rom-coms, chocolate chip cookies and salty chips, everything was perfect; then the phone rang.

“I swear to f…Hello?”

You cursed whoever called but answered as politely as you could.

“Afternoon babe. What are you up to hon?”

A smile blossomed, the full blown rage that was just boiling up, disappeared at the soft voice of your boyfriend; Eddie Munson.

“Sitting at home, bleeding to death and watching movies. Don’t you have a big campaign tonight? I won’t be able to make it. I’m sorry love.”

Eddie liked you being at the D&D events because everyone loved you. Snack queen was a title you actually coveted and Dustin even got you a crown.

“We had to reschedule it, most of the boys couldn’t make it so I’m free as a bird. Want me to come over and comfort you?”

The thought sounded sweet but you didn’t want to ruin his free day by moping around.

“Don’t worry about it. I know you’ve been trying to nail your new song so I’ll just take the day to myself. We can hand out when I’m not an emotional head-case.”

A soft chuckle made you giggle, but you groaned softly at a new cramp that kicked you in the ass.

“I’m gonna go back to bed. We can talk later. I love you! Bye Eddie.”

“…love you too Y/N.”

~•~•~•~•~

An hour or so passed and the first movie had you crying your eyes out when the doorbell rang. You didn’t bother to get it, probably a delivery or something. There was shuffling and then the door opened and fear settled in; until you heard the melodic sound of his voice.

“It’s just me! Don’t get scared!!”

“Fuckin Christ Eddie!”

His laugh echoed up the stairs as he made it to your room, bags in hand.

“Sorry babe. You’re stuck with me today.”

Ice cream, ice masks, icy hot, and…tampons? You looked up at him with an amused look as you pilfered through the bags he brought. A light blush graced his face.

“I didn’t know what size your…you know…was so I got a lot of different sizes.”

“Wait…the size of my…Eddie do you think it means how big my vagina is?”

Now Eddie looked confused.

“Isn’t it?”

You started cracking up. Men really had no idea how women’s bodies worked.

“No babe. It’s the amount of blood coming out. The size of the vagina doesn’t matter.”

He nodded, embarrassed. You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss.

“Thank you so much. This is the nicest thing anyones ever done for me.”

That made him light up. You two spend the next few hours goofing off and watching movies. He’d comfort you when a movie made you cry and you’d do the same. Eventually you both fell asleep and you made a mental note that this was your favorite date so far. God you loved him.

The end! I hope you enjoyed it. Constructive criticism always welcome. Requests open. Much love!!

[mapoeggplant]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from Skip to Loafer? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

OOOOOOHHHH this is such a hard but amazing question oh my god thank you so much?? this will be long so I’M SORRY

ok characters:

1. shima

i think it’s kinda obvious that he’s mu favorite character since i wrote like 170831 character studies about him. but really, shima is a character that enchanted me since day one, that made me fall in love with skip to loafer even more. i just love to watch him grow and watch him get more in touch with his own feelings, with his own needs and finally accepting that he’s worthy of love. he’s just amazing, my baby boy, i’m so proud of him

2. mitsumi

i mean, is it possible not to love her????? she’s just the perfect main character for me, who makes skip to loafer be the story it is, full of love, understanding and fin light moments. she just makes me want to be a better, more understanding person, to believe more in myself. and we’re both countryside girls who left their past lives to live in the big city so i see a lot of my own fears on her owns.

3. nao-chan

i honestly can’t think of any other character like nao. she compliments the story and the characters extremely well and brings to the table her own amazing personality and background. she’s so adoring and so grateful, such an amazing inspiration to so many people who sees themselves on her shoes. i just adore her

4. fumi

i know we don’t have much about fumi but the little we have already have such an impact on me. she’s such an amazing character, so full of love and light. i love to see her relationship with mitsumi and how supportive she is. i also thing the countryside girl on me have a big influence on this love too

5. mika

i don’t make many character studies on mika because she’s so similar to my teenage self in some ways that i feel like self analyzation HDJWJDJWK i just adore her. i love to see her opening up and chasing her own dreams and accepting herself little by little. can’t wait to see her taking over the world

now moments:

1. the breakup

oh how i wish i could read this chapter for the first time again. it’s just so gorgeous and so full of understanding and love. it’s so rare to see stories aimed at an younger public to touch such a sensitive topic and not jump straight to the romantic love of it all. i just love it

2. the crab scene

i just love sousuke shima and his constant battle of emotions

3. the flower bracelet

should be in a museum. out of this world. gorgeous. i cry just remembering it

4. the tomato scene with nao and her mother

the levels of story that such a simple scene carries….and how amazingly done it was…

5. the friendship bracelet

i just love female friendship so much and i LOVE the girls with all my heart

i hope i wasn’t confusing!! and sorry for writing so much omg

[the-frankenmost]

Alright so, I don’t talk about my canon openly very much, but I think there’s at least two people who want to hear about here so I’m just gonna ramble.

I don’t remember a lot before Gloomsvile so we’re not getting much of a “backstory” here :/ sorry. I do remember that it was only Mom though. I was a total momma’s boy. Len was very obviously the favorite though. I don’t really want to get into that here. I had (and still have) ADHD and Autism. Can’t comment on Len too much because memory is still very fragmented, but he definitely was not neurotypical. I was a very sensitive little guy while Len was the more rough and tough boy. Mom would call me a cry baby a lot. Len and I were twins, we weren’t born conjoined. I don’t remember how we died which is probably a good thing. Len loved creepy crawlies, I did not. He’d play with worms and I’d just be there freaking out. Still really don’t like the squirmy type.

Came to Gloomsville in search of more and stayed because, Ruby, duh. R.I.P Actually hit it off In Gloomsville and the neighboring towns. I remember the first time we made it into the paper, Ruby threw a big party and Len and I ate too much and got sick lol.

One time Skullboy thought he was related to a long line of Rock Stars and tried to get us to let him join the band. I’m named Frank for a reason (jk). Shut that shit down quick. Dude sucks at music. I think Iris AND Misery had had crushes on us for a while but that was extremely short lived. I don’t think anyone in that house was straight

(-Poe & Skull Boy) but I was probably the last one to come out for reasons we’ll get to later.

This is where the memories get more frequent and also a bit more sensitive. Read ahead at your own risk please.

Len and I had a medical emergency one night and for some reason the only solution the doctors could think of was to separate us, we were so far gone when they had us sign a waiver so neither of us could comprehend what was happening. Woke up in my own hospital bed in my own hospital room. Good lord the fear I felt that afternoon. Apparently Len had been freaking out way worse because he’d woken up like two days before I did. Shit was terrifying. You’d think “oh well now you get to experience privacy!” Fuck that I want my brother. I don’t remember exactly what had been wrong but both of us needed several different transplants, I got a new stomach. With that came new stomach issues. Could no longer have a lot of favorite foods or I’d get really sick. Len got off easy, I’m happy for him. We both got new dicks because we’d shared one. God bless that decision holy shit.

It was shortly after the emergency separation is when my mental health started to decline and I had that big meltdown that Skull Boy found reason enough to break my nose. In all fairness he’d thought I’d shoved Ruby when really I’d just startled her pretty bad. Not much better in my opinion. She didn’t deserve that. The guilt is what drove me to go hide in the woods surrounding the house. I’d originally planned to cool off and then lock myself in the garage for a while but fate had other plans for me that night. Took a tumble all the way down that huge hill the house sat on. I tried to find my way back home, I really did I promise. But I’d been so exhausted and was so lost I’d ended up in the neighboring town in the complete opposite direction of the house. I was lost in those woods for so long I’d kinda lost it a bit. My brain convinced me that there was nothing for me back home and that they didn’t want me there anymore. Kinda exiled myself at that point. Some guy found me collapsed in the snow and took me to him place to fix me up so I wouldn’t die out there. Definitely would have if he hadn’t found me. He’s the one who gave me the train ticket and the deed to the farm in Pelican town.

The train ride took days to get to Zuzu city. I slept the whole time anyway so don’t remember much. Lewis met me at the station and escorted me to the bus to the town. Passed out on the bus and woke up in the hospital, again. Getting real sick of that. Harvey thought Lewis had brought him a corpse at first so when I’d woken up he freaked out. Comforting. People would come visit. They were so nice. Got released from the hospital and Lewis and Robin showed me to the Farm. I miss the farm to this very day. I’d give anything to go back. Got the place all cleaned up with Robin’s help. Hid in the old cottage, refusing to come out for a month or so. Finally decided to try planting the seeds Caroline had given me to start the garden. Was very cynical about it until the little baby seedlings popped up. Immediately was hooked. I’d sit on the steps leading to the patio and just talk to the little guys. Random chicken showed up on my property one day and that’s when I’d met Jas, Vincent and Charlie. Jas was fascinated while Vincent was dragging her away from the farm screaming and crying that I was going to eat them. Only came outside to water after that. I’d catch Jas snooping around the property. She reminded me of Ruby so I’d get sad. She’d leave little flowers from the fields surrounding the ranch just south of the farm. Those flowers kept me chugging during that period of time. Eventually decided I wanted to keep Chickens for company so I made my way to the ranch. That’s when I met Marnie and Shane. Marnie had Shane help me with building the coop and the run. Didn’t say much. Marnie took it upon herself to keep pressuring him to come help on the farm after a while. He’d never really say much to me. We all know where that ended up.

Shane and I would talk more and more with each visit. Jas would come help too. I got fairly dependent on their visits. As Shane and I would talk more we’d get closer. We officially started dating about six months after I’d first got there. I was happy for the first time in ages, and so was he.

Things carried on as they were for two years until the big Stardew County fair. I was cleaning up my little booth when I heard a familiar voice shouting my name. I don’t know how or why they’d decided to attend this fair of all the other fairs and festivals but they’d found me. Len quickly went from sobbing in relief that I was alive to throttling me. Oh ho ho he was pissed when he found out about Shane. Had to pry him off of him. Poor Shane was so rattled. We had a big sit down talk with everyone. Skull Boy couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I could tell he blamed himself for my disappearance, and that made me feel terrible. Ruby never gave up on looking for me.

Everything eventually went back to normal. They’d come visit fairly regularly. Len would just show up unannounced sometimes but I liked it. Shane didn’t. Shane and I eventually got married and this is where you’d think it was happily ever after. I wish that was the case. I really do. I don’t remember the exact amount of time between that and my eventual, untimely death. It wasn’t long enough though. I was so happy. I had my friends back. I had my brother back. I was married with an adopted daughter, though Jas continued to refer to me as “ Uncle Frank” I didn’t mind though. I’d told Shane I was going to the mines and he practically begged me not to go because I’d previously gotten hurt down there, but I’m a hard headed, stubborn idiot. He knew he couldn’t stop me so instead he came along. I don’t know what happened down there, as I’ve blocked it out but something terrible obviously. Shane carried me all the way to Harvey’s, but it was too late. There was nothing anyone could do.

And now I’m here. Anyway, it’s 2am so I’m going to sleep now. I’m certain there are typos but I can’t be bothered. Goodnight.

[ethernetmeep]

attended graduation. surprisingly cried less than i was anticipating, at least during the event. cried a bit afterwards, mix of realization & fear of not being able to get home safely. i did, luckily… my mother eventually came. wore a suit & tie, specifically the tie my friend gifted to me. heated up like a car in front of the sun. brought a drink since i knew if i didnt id maybe faint because of heat exhaustion. more likely nausea.

sat with an acquaintance, rambled to her. felt sick during most of the ceremony. almost puked, uh… three times. nerves hit like a brick wall. literally. nauseous because of nervousness. wanted to yell & holler but i dont have the voice for that. simple quiet ‘yay’ syllables had to suffice. brought sheldon & wiffle & chiquitito. gave chiquitito a bath before i left. got ready an hour or so early. sat outside & looked at birds in the meantime

in an ideal world i am very smart & funny & talented & talk to everyone & perfect. in an ideal world i dont get so worried my body physically shuts down. in an ideal world, i would be able to say something as simple as, “oh my gosh, i’m so happy for you! take care!” without bile festering. i try to live in this ideal world, try to be the best i can, but ive learned this is really really hard for me to do because frankly i am quite stupid. i know this is a haha funny joke 70% of the time but if i actually start gagging on nothing i know it’s probably a bad sign and i should stop overworking myself lest i actually do puke. it would not be very appealing to throw up in front of a plethora of my peers & their families. god…..

don’t even.. don’t.

[head in hands]

fine. FOR THE SAKE OF JOURNALISM! nothing else.

“I FUCKING— I HATE THEM. SO MUCH. I’M SORRY, I KNOW THATS MEAN—“

mother & other party member: “ITS NOT MEAN.”

[still reeling from remnants of stomach acid (as i did not eat anything in the morning when i took my meds which probably doesnt help this, although i didnt wanna eat then puke up whatever food it was i ate there either)] “I’M JUST— UGH! I’M SO FUCKING, I’M SO MAD.”

snippet of conversation. back seat with extra space just because. emotional & still nauseous. almost cry on the way home because of these weird things called human emotions, tears only well up; don’t actually fall. ramble to a man who knows a lot of people. miscellaneous conversations follow, like the one where i ask him if he can do anything about my favorite teacher being laid off. he says he’ll try. he…. how do i say this… knows… many individuals…. hes nice, slowly grown more used to his presence. i think if i cried with tears and snot long enough he’d be able to do many things, which is crazy & absurd but genuinely accurate. scarily accurate.

home, sitting outside & watching birds feed from the bird feeder. emptied it while i was gone. northern flicker, blue jay, blue-capped chickadee, common grackle, tufted titmouse… a wide variety. sprinkle some seeds on the ground for both squirrels & robins since they seem to not use the bird feeder much. robin right in front of me now, actually [was when i was typing this sentence]

i only made one note / doodle in my notebook during the event, but with words written & context applied its maybe better i don’t share it. saying…. heated words….. from a person that dislikes being rude unless someone is genuinely vile, is not as vague as one thinks they are. still, its pretty funny to imagine me being violent… slap thing was genuinely the first time i ever put my hands on someone like that

anyway, now theres three grackles near my bird feeder. two underneath. they’re so cute its almost upsetting, except its not. its quite nice to feel less alone

something something hi there something something oh hey i said everything now. i should probably lay down before my stomach gets worse

really happy i went, though. wouldn’t miss it for the world

[roxy206]

Confusion | watch on YouTube

This is suuuuuuch a great Katya outfit. And both of them in red??!

Katya putting her hand on Trixie’s knee while she gets down from the stool though

Well I guess I’ll just talk to myself

Love that elegant walk Sh— I had my hip replaced, leave me alone!

Listen I fucking hate how behind I am, but one thing is that I’m even more thrilled when I do some catching up to see these two on my screen. It’s like this extra appreciation I have

Pleaaaase Katya’s goofy face after going I’m so confused what’s the topic

I almost choked you out I wish you would

Then later I have to find out, you’re the only one who was wrong

Life is very confusing

I wish I was into piss I do too

bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt

Did you make this?

TRIXIE TELLING THE STORY ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY GETTING IN KATYA’S CAR BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH NAMED BRIAN IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

Oh my god which editor used the pink & black houses I love you

You’re hot

I don’t sext And you don’t send nudes. So what are you doing? I’m having sex in real life

bzzt bzzt

I know about it once I get inside of it

the most prolonged bzzt bzzt

Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary honey baby

I tried to have a hook up & there was confusion

This is why Unhhhh needs a loveseat because sometimes Trixie needs to be as close as possible to Katya

bzzt bzzt

bzzt bzzt

No actually who put the Dick Wolf title card can we please be besties lmao

Oh sorry

The editing in this episode is top notch

THE LICENSE & REGISTRATION CALLBACK

bzzt bzzt

bzzt bzzt

You cry alone a lot I do. I love it though

Who says that? No one, I made it up

[ridethehammett]

I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER!

obviously kirk hammett 🩷

there’s so many reasons why i love him. he’s super sweet and caring and i relate so much to him because we share a lot of the same experiences. my father would play metallica frequently when i was a child, and his favorite song was enter sandman. i loved this song growing up, but this year when i saw who was playing the badass guitar solo i would pretend to play with my air guitar, i was like oh my god he’s fucking beautiful. i kid you not the whole reason i dug deep into metallica and discovered more about metal in the first place is because an edit of kirk popped up on my fyp!! i just love genuine people and he certainly is one!! probably my favorite rock star of all time i love my husband!! 🫶🏾

dave grohl 🩷

i really forgot how i got into him it just happened. i think it’s because i was like “wait that’s dave from nirvana, he’s the lead singer of foo fighters wtf!?”but i love his personality so much, he’s so strong. it really hit me with everything he went through, losing the people important in his life and still he kept pushing and helps out others. he’s just very selfless and i love him to pieces. AND HE’S SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM!!

sebastian bach 🩷

WOOO JESUS. okay. i was scrolling through pinterest one day and saw this man because i discovered rachel bolan existed and he was in a picture with him. i was like sorry rachel, but your friend is way hotter LMFAO. so the more i looked at him i was like wow i need him. i started looking at videos and interviews of him and i fell in love with his personality! he’s so fucking funny, also the whole reason he got kicked out of skid row is fucking insane and i love seb so much.

chris cornell 🩷

oh jesus, okay. i love chris because you can hear the passion of music in his songs. when i was younger in elementary school my dad would play soundgarden a lot too, his favorite song being black hole sun. i didn’t understand why i felt the way i felt listening to this song being that i was only a kid, but it did something to me. growing up i found myself going back to that song and the more i grew up the more i understood why i felt that way and why my feelings towards that song increased. chris is such a creative mind and i miss him and his beautiful smile dearly.

cliff burton 🩷

i’m sorry to make y’all cry back to back (also this picture i love it so much bye)

but cliff…oh god. when i first really got into metallica i didn’t know he passed. i was just so attracted to his “don’t give a fuck, society is fake” attitude because that’s kinda how i am. he was himself regardless of what anyone else thought and his smile just always made me happy. and oh my god he’s so talented. but he was just there to live life and do what he enjoyed and i admired that so much.

THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR I LOVE YOU AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS A LOT!! 🩷

@gogobo0ts THANKS DEAR! 🫶🏾