#sorry everyone im sad and miss the time when i was 13 and wrote a whole 100k word book with two of my friends in a week once

[pilotstreets]

genuinely wish i could write like i did when i was 13 and just had fun making stories and characters that were like, objectively awful but undeniably creative and fun to write, instead of now finding it impossible to enjoy writing because nothing i make can live up to the standards i set and i feel so untalented at the craft :/

[all-hail-the-witcher]

jaskier’s breakup album

alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 

so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?

the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.

i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 

taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 

heres a link to the playlist

1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift

so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 

1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)

this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 

the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 

jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.

2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 

songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 

I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend

they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.

You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah

the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.

3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.

I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"

this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 

So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one

jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 

Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one

this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 

4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff

You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'

essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 

5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)

so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire

Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.

6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)

this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 

'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough

hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 

7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)

this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.

8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face

9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 

this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.

I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did

jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 

When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them

Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible

this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.

10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 

11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 

so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.

12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)

this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life

obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.

13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)

this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away

this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.

Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me

this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.

That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home

the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.

14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.

15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 

Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near

in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.

16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard

17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.

18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 

19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?

I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again

this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 

20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)

this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 

The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name

these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 

21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.

22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.

I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn

I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone

this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one

this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.

in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)

anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

[deeneee]

Sincerely, Me [Ushijima x Reader]

Note:  Sorry, but I really wanted to write something sad :( I'm sorry if you do end up crying? I mean I tried to make it really sad, and I really did start crying towards the end. I'm not good at these, but this was a little experiment. I tried with Ushijima's character, but yeah, I hope I portrayed him somewhat. He's not a crying character, but y'knowwww oh well haha. Please enjoy :) 

Summary:  All you wanted for Wakatoshi was happiness and so you conveyed them through your letters.

"Wakatoshi, are you sure you don't need help?" Tendou questioned the olive haired man. Wakatoshi looked up from where he sat, a big, wide box in his hands. 

"I am fine. This is the last of her stuff," Wakatoshi responded dully. The red haired man nodded and then closed the door to his room. The professional volleyball player stared at the box that he had taken out of the closet. It was hidden well under some blankets, and on the surface was written 'To my darling, Ushijima Wakatoshi <3'. This was strange. Why was this here? Wakatoshi opened the box and he was faced with a bunch of envelopes. They were stacked on top of each other neatly. The first envelope that he saw caught his eyes. Open when you miss me. His big fingers picked up the envelope and read the one beneath it. Open on your 24th birthday. Then another, open when you feel lost. And another, open when you have a girlfriend/lover. Before he knew it, his view became blurry as tear drops fell from his eyes and stained the envelopes in his hands. 

-

Dear Toshi,

You miss me? Awh, of course you do :). You know what? I miss you as well, my love. So much. I miss you so much. But, just because you miss me does not mean you make yourself miserable or isolate yourself from others. I will always be there for you, even if one day I am not there physically. I will always be beside you no matter what, Wakatoshi. My beloved. I love you forever <3

Sincerely, [Name]

Wakatoshi's tears fell freely as he re-read the letter you had written. The letter was a little stale, showing that you had been crying as you wrote this letter for him. He could see the dried drops of tears on a few spots and his left hand clenched his chest, the pain becoming unbearable. Since you've been gone, the apartment had felt so much bigger, and so lonely. He very much missed you. If only you were here. 

-

Dear Toshi~, 

Wow! Happiest Birthday, my love! August 13, the day the love of my life was born into this beautiful world! And you're even 24 years old!!!!! You old man :) I hope your day was the best and that you celebrated with all your friends and family. I am sorry that I will not be spending your 24th birthday with you, but I am, maybe spiritually? haha Just thinking back on your 23rd birthday, it was such a beautiful day. Just like your other birthdays that we celebrated! And, I am sure today is just as beautiful as the last few years. Why you wonder? Well, simply because it is the day you were born and that is beautiful enough. I love you forvever, Toshi <3

Sincerely, [Name]

Wakatoshi smiled to himself. The letters you had written to him always made him happy. Today was August 13, his birthday. He took your advice and made sure he did not isolate himself and he indeed had a great day with everyone he was close to. He even visited you earlier in the morning, updating you on what you missed. It had been a whole two months without you, and it was hard, but he was trying. “Ushiwaka, practice is starting,” Kageyama announced, peeking his head in the men’s locker room. Wakatoshi nodded, not looking back at the black haired setter. 

”Okay,” he responded, and neatly folded the letter and shoved it back in its envelope before stuffing it gently in his gym bag. Putting his bag in the locker, he left the locker room and into the gym, where practice with the Schweiden Adler's awaited. 

”Happy birthday, Ushiwaka!” His teammates cheered and the olive haired man smiled a little. He could hear your sweet voice wishing him a happy birthday along with his teammates. 

-

Dear my Toshi,

Feeling lost? No worries, your light is here :) I don’t know what happened, but guess what? I’m right here, and you’ll be okay. You’re Ushijima Wakatoshi, the most powerful spider spiker (ugh I misspelled that. Please ignore that!) that I know! Feeling lost will happen, and it’s okay because nothing is perfect.  Im confident that you know what to do and I’m proud of you. Super proud, love. I’ll always be your number one supporter. I hope I was able to help a little. I love you forever, Waka (WAKANDA haha jk ok I’ll stop) 

Sincerely, [Name]

Wakatoshi snorted a little, shaking his head side to side. He could hear you reading this in such a goofy voice, and he immediately felt better, the tension in his shoulders disappearing. He didn’t feel so upset anymore. He leaned back in his bed, his right hand holding the letter and his left hand resting on the spot you used to sleep. It felt as if you were right next to him, telling him that everything was going to be okay. 

-

Dear Toshi <3, 

I’m assuming you have a girlfriend now :) and I hope she is making you happy. Very happy. I’m so happy and proud of you, Toshi. How is she like? Is she treating you well? Are you treating her well? I hope she’s able to understand a blunt man like you. And, don’t worry if I’m depressed about it, because I assure you that I’m the happiest person in the world. You deserve all the happiness in the world and all the love. Writing this, I expected to feel jealous and maybe a little petty, but I'm surprised I am happy. And, I am not crying, I'm serious. I know I said at least once that if you had a gf after I died, I'd haunt you, but I lied. I would never do that to you. I only want the best for you, love. I hope the both of you take care of each other forever and never stop loving each other. Just like how I will never stop loving you forever.

Sincerely, [Name]

Wakatoshi could feel his heart warm, and his thumb gently stroked against the smeared dry tear drop on the letter. You lied. You were crying while writing this and you definitely tried to dry off your tear, but clearly failed. "Ushijima, I finished making our dinner," his girlfriend, Yui, announced, peeking her head out into his room. Her long black hair swayed and her emerald orbs shined. Wakatoshi nodded in response and she smiled, her eyes lingering on the letter before walking back to the kitchen. Wakatoshi stood up from his bed and went to his closet to put the opened envelope inside the box. He looked at the left side, where many unopened envelopes laid, and the right side, where some of the opened envelopes settled. He wondered how much there were, but he decided that he would go through it everyday, picking one to read. 

"I miss you," he muttered, stroking the box's surface. After putting the box back into the closet, he left to the kitchen, where someone else waited for him. As he arrived to the kitchen table, where his favorite dish lay, he felt nostalgic. When was the last time someone else cooked for him? Looking at Yui, he imagined her being you, smiling at him and telling him to hurry up and eat. But, Yui was not you. . .and that was okay. No one could be you. Wakatoshi scooped up some rice, sauce, and beef, then he shoved it into his mouth. Yui watched in anticipation, waiting for him to speak. "It's delicious," he spoke after chewing the remains in his mouth and looked at her. She smiled, pink dusting her cheeks. 

"I'm glad." Behind Yui's head was a picture frame of you, smiling, throwing leaves in the air. Wakatoshi felt his heart pause for a second, and it felt as if you were cheering him on. Cheering him on to a new beginning. He chuckled, startling Yui, who's eyes grew wide, and lips agape. 

"Thank you, Yui," Wakatoshi sincerely said. Yui's eyes softened as she watched him eat. 

"Yea. . .any time." 

-

Dear my beloved, Toshi, 

Congratulations on your wedding, my beloved! I sincerely wish you and your wife a successful and happy life. You've grown so much, I'm sure. I am so excited for you to start your own family! Your kids will be so cute, and will be super strong! Just like you! Well, I'm sure you looked handsome standing near the altar or will look handsome near the altar. I'm not sure if you're reading this before or after your wedding, but anyways yeah. If only I was able to see that :( But, this isn't about me, so I'll move along haha! Anyways, as you marry your significant other, I hope you love her with all your heart and soul. (You better! >:( better treat your woman well!) And, help around with the house if you can. I know you're a professional athlete, but I'm sure you have time in your hands to help around! Congratulations on your new chapter in life-- building a family <3. The sound of that definitely makes me envious, but oh well :) I love you forever~

Sincerely, [Name]

The olive haired man brought a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as tears began to well up. You were always cheering him on in the letters, always encouraging him to move along. He felt guilty. Guilty because he was happy, but he knew that you wanted him to be. "Wakatoshi?" Wakatoshi quickly blinked his tears away and looked up from his seat, setting the letter down on the small table in front of him. 

"Oh, Tendou." 

"You're not even fully dressed. Get dressed," the red head sighed and walked over to the giant. Wakatoshi stood up and began to loop the tie that hung around his neck, while looking in the body mirror. Tendou looked down at the letter and he sighed once again. He knew what they were, since the olive haired man told him. "How many letters did she write?" 

"I don't know. I just find one and read it." 

"But, it's been a year," Tendou stated, furrowing his brows. 

"Yea. . .I know," he muttered, finishing with his tie. "That letter was for my wedding." Tendou lightly patted the man's shoulder, then squeezed it to give him comfort. 

"Are you going to keep them forever?" 

Wakatoshi didn't answer, and instead, he shrugged on his blazer. 

-

Dear Ushijima Wakatoshi,

I'm sure you're wondering why I wrote all these letters. Hmmmm, why? Well, because maybe I didn't want you forgetting me :) haha just kidding. Just cause. I did it just because. I wanted you to know that I will be beside you every step you take throughout your life. I don't mean it in a creepy way, but you know what I mean? No, you don't and I'm sure you're confused by what I'm saying, but whatever! You're probably wondering when I wrote these? Well, surprise surprise, I wrote it secretly. Sometimes I wrote them when you were knocked out, so that I could watch you sleep while I wrote, and the other times, just whenever. I know it's a lot of letters, but I don't care. But, this is the last letter that I will write. Wakatoshi, you've made these past five years the best years in my life. We talked for a year after meeting in our second year, and you finally asked me out during our third year of high school :) Every second--every moment I spent with you was the best. I'm proud to say that I'm happy and that I have no regrets. Just having to be Ushijima Wakatoshi's girlfriend was the best thing ever. But, now, I am just a memory, and someone from the past. You now have a loving family, a successful career, and an amazing life, I'm sure. I can't believe I am crying so hard right now, but let me be selfish for a few sentences, yeah? I wish I was the one married to you and carrying your kids. I wish I was the one taking care of the house as you left to play your games. I wish I was the one being there for your downfalls. I wish I was the one helping and watching our kids grow. I wish I was the one standing physically beside you right now. I wish I was the only woman you ever loved. I wish I was alive. But, I know that it will never happen and that's okay. Because I wouldn't wish for anything better than you being happy and striving. I love you Toshi, very much so. Very, very, very much so. I hope you remember me as someone who loved you so much. If only life wasn't so cruel.  And so, here again, I will wish you a happy, happy long life, Toshi. I love you. . .forever.

Sincerely, me, [Name] [Last] <3

The whole letter was covered in dried tear drops that it became stale and some of the words were smeared. Wet drops fell on the paper as Wakatoshi covered his face in his hands, his elbows on either side of the paper. He cried silently, his shoulders shaking. He'd never forget you, a loving and sincere soul, who only wanted happiness for him. His forever love who will never come back. He didn't bother to wipe his tears, and instead, he neatly stuffed it in the envelope and into the box of opened envelopes. He took one more look at the neatly stacked envelopes and then slowly closed the box. He carefully slid it into the closet and he wiped his eyes. It was as if he was finally saying goodbye to [Name].

Then, he closed the closet, leaving the box in the darkness. 

[pichitinha]

Fic Writer Questions!

I was tagged by @peter-covinskys, thank you!! 🥰

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

eighty-five !!!!!!!!!!! if only i remembered how to write so i could reach one hundred rip

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

exactly 337,220. not much but it's honest work

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

in total 6-ish

harry potter, percy jackson, doctor who (kinda), young justice/dcu, rpdr, to all the boys

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

747: It's what friends do - Young Justice (Birdflash)

626: Possibly, Maybe - RPDR (Trixya)

434: Searching, Waiting, Looking - RPDR (Trixya)

428: It only takes a taste - RPDR (Trixya)

338: When no one else was looking - To All The Boys (Covinsky)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

always!!! responding to comments is one of my favorite parts of the fic process!!!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i am a fluffy/happy ending person through and through so i was inclined to say "none" when i remembered i have this one sad (alternate)ten/rose fic that i just reread and while my english was atrocious back then and i truly intend on going back and fixing it, it's pretty poetic and angsty i think

So far we are... so close - Doctor Who

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

literally all of them except for the one above and "gone tonight" which is sort of open ended lmao. but i'm gonna go with SWL bc it's a multichapter and i wrote a whole epilogue of fluffy so

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don't and i don't think i ever will but i do think about my favorite characters interacting a LOT. my most constant scenario is a hospital au with all of my main ships, i have everyone's specialties in my mind and i revisit scenes often, it's wonderful

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

full on hate, never, but there were two instances that were kind of funny:

- i was partaking in a fic forum contest with the theme "meta" so i wrote a meta fic (fics that mention the existence of that universe fanfic within it) and i tagged it and all and someone left me a lengthy comment about how much they hate meta fics and i was like??? ok???

- i have this cute little piece called glasses where percy "steals" jason's glasses and goes to the canoe lake and annabeth tries to retrieve them and they get all cute and kiss once (1) and someone left me a comment asking how dare i post such explicit content in a fic rated K? ASDFHDJSHSH

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

sometimes! it's difficult for me and not something that i find fits most of my stories, but sometimes it does and it flows well. i've written some, but it's in the lowest percentage of my writing

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

oh boy, have i. a few times. last two times were separate occasions, months apart, but by the same fucking person. wattpad is fucking hell. they changed the names and just posted it to another fandom.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

once but it fits better into the previous question: one time i was searching the percabeth tag (that was like years and years and years ago) and there was this little drabble in portuguese (my mother tongue) and i started reading it and it was SO familiar and i was like wait a minute this is mine??? so like i wrote it in portuguese, then translated it into english myself, and someone without asking for permission or crediting me translated it back into portuguese and posted it as if it was theirs. it was a ride

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i think im too controlling to ever do that

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that would be mister perseus jackson and miss annabeth chase aka literally the best otp that has ever existed they love each other so much and they will live a full life of happiness and that's all i have to say

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

omg so many... im still in the hopeful stages for all the ones for my current fandom (tatb) so let's skip that and go to previous fandoms:

the trixya jealously one. i have like 8k of it and i liked it so much. it's so far from done. i wish i could finish it.

the hinny spy au. i loved when i had that idea. god that was such a long time ago rip

and the fake death yj au. god i wish.

16) What are your writing strengths?

right now i feel like it's nothing tbh, and i'm doing this to be dramatic or fishing for compliment, it's just been such a long period of writer's block that everything in writing seems weak to me right now. i am however much better at scenes with only two characters, the more people you throw in there the more likely i am to screw it up

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

as mentioned, any scenes with lots of people, but also may i say: ENDINGS. ending a fic is literally the hardest thing on the planet i don't understand how people do it smh

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i like it if it fits the characters/story but i absolutely hate not knowing what they're saying or having to wait for the author's note, so i'm a fan of putting the translation immediately after if you're gonna do that

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter.......... we've been there folks

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

how can a person even choose this....... i'm proud of so many of mine. if i had to pick one right now i'd say "Just fall into place (you'll fall into me)" bc i wrote the type of fic that i love finding in my other fandoms and it felt like such an accomplishment. but im proud of many of them

i'm tagging @promiseofthepremise @scarletenvy @xgoldendays @byima and whoever else writes fic i totally lost sight of that in here sorry folks!!!

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 14

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: this is only a conversation between Liv and Niall. i hope its still good and nice to read? idk, you tell me?

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i did get all your requests ppl and ill use many of them in the next chapter! the request i used in this chapter is one i got when i was writing AM Conversations but i knew id use it at some point!

Chapter 14 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

The need to kiss him was too strong, especially after what he had admitted. I knew he wanted me to some extent but even if I wanted it more than anything, I didn't really think he still loved me like that. His lips moved harshly against mine and I still felt like he was not close enough, even if he was holding my body against his.

"Real love." he repeated low, his lips brushing against mine as I kept my eyes close.

My fingers moved up to his hair and gripped it tight. When was the last time I could touch Niall this way? When was the last time I could really taste him and feel him? I thought about the day his hand moved up on my pants, the same night I kissed his lips when I thought he was asleep, and realized that every time he touched me, his fingers left a burning trace as they moved on me. It seemed to reach my skin even through my clothes and then turn me into a pile of ashes. The truth was, I felt like a fucking phoenix with him. He always burned me down and brought me back to life. How the fuck did he do that?

He bent down more at my touch, groaning low before pressing his lips against mine again, not wasting any time and deepening the kiss to let me taste him some more. I felt my whole body throb as his arms tightened around me,  pressing me harder against him. I didn't want this kiss to end but after a while, a bunch of thoughts came to my mind and I pulled away. His eyes opened and they roamed on my face as my lips parted. We were both a panting mess and it was a bit pathetic to see, but I knew we both wanted more. I also knew we shouldn't do anything and I licked my lips, taking a step back but still keeping a small smile on my lips. As I moved, the grip of his arms loosened and I felt his fingertips brush on my waist, once again burning me. Fuck.

"Uhm I just, I need a drink."

Without waiting for his answer, I turned around and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking what was left of a bottle of wine I had started with Louis a few days before, bringing two glasses and going to the living room. He had walked down the hall and was now standing near my couch, his hands in his pockets. I sat on the couch and poured wine in both glasses, pushing one gently on the coffee table and looking up at him, licking my lips.

"Thirsty?" I just asked, raising my eyebrows.

He seemed to hesitate but he ended up sitting next to me and taking the glass, looking down at the pale beverage. I wanted to make a cheesy toast but instead, I took a sip and I noticed he looked up at me from the corner of my eyes, making me swallow the whole glass quickly. I put my now empty glass back on the table and he chuckled, looking at it.

"Do you think it's a good idea to get drunk two days in a row?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea, all I know is that i'm doing it."

He chuckled again and grabbed the bottle, pouring me more wine before I thanked him. I stared at him as he drank in silence and tilted my head. He was so fucking gorgeous, I just wanted to-

"I know you want to ask me something, go ahead."

I blinked a few times, focusing on his words instead of his perfect face, and cleared my throat. Oh yea, I had a million questions to ask, but where the fuck should I even start?

"Why didn't you ever call me or tried to get in contact with me? Why didn't you ever just... try to get me back?"

He sighed and nodded a few times, leaning against the couch and staring down at his glass as he made it twist gently with his fingers. I brought my legs up on the couch and turned my body to face him but remained at a fair distance. I've always loved how he'd sit on the couch with his legs spread.

"I'm not gonna try to find excuses, Olivia, but I can tell you what went on in my head." he just said with a shrug. "Maybe it won't be good enough for you, maybe it makes no sense, but it's still that."

He looked up and his eyes met mine. I just nodded slowly and pressed my lips together. It was okay if it didn't make sense. It was okay with me, even if his reasons wouldn't make me feel better. I wanted to know if only to stop questioning it.

"At first I just wanted to have fun. I missed you, but you were right, I wanted my freedom  more than anything else. It's all I cared about. But it passed quickly and I started asking about you. Everyone told me to fuck off. Everyone wanted me to leave you alone and deep down, I felt like they were right to ask me that. I had to do some introspection, I couldn't just go back to you and do the same fucking mistakes again. So I wrote, instead. I wrote songs. So many of them."

I licked my lips and took a sip of my wine, frowning slightly.

"Are you ever going to sing them to me?"

"What?" he asked with a frown.

"I'd just.. i'd love to hear them."

He stared at me for a few more seconds still frowning before his face changed and his lips parted. He put his glass away and moved closer, his eyes roaming on my face again. I thought he was going to kiss me but instead, he shook his head slightly.

"You can hear some of them whenever you want." he pointed out low. "On my album, you know? You listened to it, didn't you?"

"You..." I frowned too, feeling my heartbeats accelerate quickly. "Which songs are about me?"

Once again, he seemed in shock and  frowned, shaking his head a bit harder.

"Almost all of them! Olivia who the fuck did you think my album was about?"

I could read panic in his eyes and I swallowed hard. I had wished at least one of his songs was about me but the way he pretended it was obvious made no sense to me.

"Heidi?"

The grimace his face twisted into surprised me and he shook his head again, moving slightly away from me. He rubbed his eyes before placing his hand on his mouth. I kept staring at him as a flood of feelings appeared on his face.

"You two dated and broke up like 3 times in the past year, didn't you?" I tried to explain, moving a bit closer to him. "I mean you always got back with her, clearly you love her, and you... I mean, it says you don't want the other person to leave but... you're the one who left me. You talk about brown eyes! Niall, how the hell did you expect me to think these songs were about me?"

This time, he bent his upper body down on his thighs, pressing his palms on his face and somehow, I wished I could read his thoughts.

"This is just a freaking color, Liv!" he pointed out. "As for the leaving part... I felt you leave, even when we were still together. I felt like you wanted out of this relationship, like you were unhappy with me. You were always so stressed that I was thinking about an other girl and, I know I made things worse and clearly didn't help. I was not patient or understanding with you and I fucked things up. But this album? It's about you. It's yours."

I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted him to climb on top of me and kiss me until I couldn't breathe. I wanted to feel the weight of his body over mine, trapping me to keep me with him forever but instead, I felt myself tear up and remained motionless.

"You honestly think I could write about anyone else than you?" he added in a softer tone. "That song you caught me singing the other night? It's about you. When I saw you for the first time in over a year at the bakery, I came home and wrote an other song. About you. It's always about you."

He sighed as he looked away from me, grabbing his glass and emptying it.

"We need more alcohol."

He got up and came back with an other bottle as we started drinking fast. It was even more obvious to me at that moment that I needed to be very very drunk. I had so many things to tell him, so many things to hear from him, and I had no idea how I'd manage all of this if I was sober.

"Even 'On My Own'" I finally asked as I took an other sip of my drink.

"What?"

"You said all your songs were about me."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Not all of them, some are concept songs, but On My Own is sort of about you, yea."

I raised my eyebrows at him and he laughed, his eyes sparkling probably because of how intoxicated he was becoming.

"Really!" he insisted. "Everyone around me was dating and shit, but I didn't want to date anyone unless it was you. I do prefer to be alone but you and me, we complete each other, don't we?"

I blinked a few times and my fond smile turned into an amused one.

"You're so full of shit!"

We both started laughing and I threw a cushion at him. He grabbed it and put it behind his back as I tilted my head on the side.

"I went to therapy." I admitted, making his smile disappear. "No, not because of you. Mostly because of me. Because I couldn't accept to be without you, and because it was time I stopped hating myself for things out of my control. My insecurities were ruining my life. They had ruined our relationship, I didn’t want to see that happen again."

He frowned a bit and looked down before looking up in my eyes. He suddenly seemed sad and I wondered if maybe I should have kept this for myself. I used to tell Niall everything but it was a long time ago, maybe it wouldn't work like that between us anymore.

"You didn't ruin anything. Your insecurities didn't ruin what we had. I did. I ruined that relationship. I should have been patient with you, I should have stopped flirting, I should have been clear with girls around that I was taken. I did a bunch of stupid stuff and i'm so sorry I made you feel like shit."

I nodded slowly, blinking a few times and realizing I was getting past the tipsy stage. The more I was drinking, the more I wanted him to make love to me, and something stirred in my stomach, bringing me near tears.

"I thought you replaced me." I whispered, frowning and looking down. "I thought Heidi took a place I felt was mine. Your best friend, your girlfriend, your... i don't know, your soulmate, maybe."

"When you left on that night, Liv... I said you would always be the love of my life. This is still the truth. I haven't changed my mind."

I sniffed and licked my lips, putting a small smile back on my lips. I wanted this to be fun. I didn't want to end up in tears again.

"Okay, let's just, throw truths at each other." I proposed making him roll his eyes. "Should be easy, we're both quite drunk. I can start if you want."

He squirmed on the couch to face me, a big smile gracing his lips.

"No it's my turn, uhm." he looked up as if he was searching for something good and his eyes finally met mine again. "I followed your tv show. Checked the blog every single day to see if there was something new. I love watching you act. I love watching your face."

"I google you every night. For over a year. Louis hated it but he allowed me about ten minutes every night. I didn't tell him but sometimes I just went to bed and googled you again on my phone. I kept googling you when I started dating Dylan, too. I even googled you last night. I guess It's an habit now."

His lips curled in some sort of victory smile and I rolled my eyes. I knew he liked it and I couldn't blame him. I liked that he cared about me enough to watch my show even if it was really amateur and even if we didn't talk to each other anymore.

"I dreamed of you a lot. In fact, I dreamed of you the night before we saw each other at the bakery." he admitted with a nervous chuckle. "I'd say it was fate if I didn't actually dream about you at least once a week."

"And what do we do in those dreams?" I asked with a smirk.

"Sometimes we just talk, sometimes we fight. Other times... you don't want to know!" he let out with a laugh.

I smiled more, not telling him that I really wanted to know, and finally breathed in. It felt so good to be with him alone, I couldn't explain how happy it made me.

"I found the card in your wallet."

I thought he would frown or at least take a few seconds to understand what I was saying but his face immediately changed and he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Fuck, I thought I lost it." his face changed into a suspicious expression. "Wait, why were you checking my wallet and why did you keep it?"

I laughed a bit. "It was that time you told me to get money in your wallet to pay for the pizza." I explained, making him nod as he remembered. "I saw that and, I don't know. To be honest, I didn't think you'd notice. I thought you had probably put that in your wallet a long time ago and just forgot to take it out."

He shook his head and the left corner of his lips raised sadly. "I kept that picture of us with the card in the frame... kept it on my night stand for months."

"Must have been awkward when you brought girls back home!" I joked with a laugh.

But he didn't laugh. He just looked up at me and my smile fell.

"I didn't bring girls home." he explained. "Hotels, okay. Sometimes their place. But in my house? No."

I didn't know why but it reassured me, somehow, and made me feel better to know he didn't bring random girls to fuck in the bed where we made love. It was not much when you really thought about it, but to me, it felt important.

"I put that picture away when Heidi told me to. I felt like it was a bit unfair for her to see that, I had to admit. I still have it in my stuff, and I couldn't throw the card away so i put it in my wallet."

I sighed and sent him a small smile before letting myself slide down the couch only to lay down on the carpet. I was drunk and a bit dizzy but I knew that all the feelings inside of me were real. There was no doubt for me. Absolutely none.

It took him a few seconds but he ended up laying down next to me, his head next to mine but his feet and body in the opposite direction. I turned my head to look at him and he did the same, a big smirk on his lips. It made me laugh and I pressed my lips together.

"I was sad when I realized I didn't bring that frame." I confessed very low, knowing he could hear me anyway. Our lips were so close I felt like we could kiss again. I felt like we should kiss again.

"I was glad you forgot it. Because I knew it wasn't on purpose. But selfishly, I wanted to keep it, even if it was a gift for you."

I didn't want to mention it, but I was glad he kept it if only to know that he kept it for months and then put the card in his wallet. That was worth not being able to keep it when I left. I brought my hand and with difficulty, I reached for his cheek, making him chuckle. I brushed my fingers on his cheek and sent him a fond smile.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" I murmured again.

"A few times." he smiled more. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"

This time, I laughed and nodded. "A few times."

We remained silent for a few minutes, just staring at each other, as my heart thumped in my chest. Why was it always so easy with him? Why did I always want to spend all my time with him alone?

"Liv, if there is anything you want to ask me, or tell me... I promise I'll be honest with you." he proposed after a while. "I want to be transparent with you. Always."

My eyes fell on his lips as he talked and all I could think about was that I was so close to kiss him again that I really needed to do something to stop me from going further.

"Did you have sex with that radio girl?" I asked, licking my lips and holding my breath. "And what about that girl who sent you a nude while we were camping?"

His face changed but he didn't look away. He was evaluating how much damage his answer could make and I felt myself tear up. I could read him so easily, even after all this time, and I didn't know how it made me feel.

"Is it really important?" he asked in a soft voice, making me raise my eyebrows. He sighed and closed his eyes. "The radio girl, no I didn't. I did sleep with Gia though."

I was waiting for him to explain himself, or say it meant nothing, but he didn't and I swallowed hard. He had the right to have sex with anyone he wanted. After all, I had sex a few times with one of his best friends, so I couldn't really say anything about it. Did it hurt me? Yes, it did. Because I remembered exactly what that girl's body was like, and thinking about his naked form over hers made me a bit nauseous, but at the same time, it was in the past and it had nothing to do with me.

"Why are you dating her?"

He raised his eyebrows, a bit surprised by my question. "Heidi?"

I nodded. "I know you think she's hot but it's not a reason to date someone." I pointed out with a grimace. "To fuck someone, yea, but not to date them."

"I don't know." he shrugged, a bit taken aback. "She's fun. We had fun."

"You have fun with everyone, Niall." I explained, rolling my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

The way he was frowning was adorable and my lips curled again. "You talk about everyone and call them your best friend, you say that everyone is super funny." I paused and raised my eyebrows again. "Have you ever thought that maybe you're the 'fun' one? Maybe you're the fun person and that's why you have fun with everyone."

It took a few seconds but his lips curled into an amused smile and he laughed, shaking his head.

"You're really something else."

"I just don't get why her. Maya, I get it, but Heidi? Really?"

"You liked Maya, uh?"

I didn't know if I really liked Maya but one thing I knew was that she didn't give me a bad vibe the way Heidi did and that she was gorgeous. No, I wouldn't say I liked Maya, but I understood why someone would want to date her.

"She hated you." he professed with an other chuckle. "She was so jealous of you, she wouldn't shut up about it!"

I felt my heart jump in my chest, a bit shocked that someone, especially someone like Maya, could be jealous of someone like she. She had everything and yet, she felt threatened by an average girl like me? Laughable. It reminded me that during the game, the night before, he had admitted to dialing one of his ex while being drunk and suddenly, I was sure he was talking about Maya and I swallowed.

"Which ex did you drunk dialed?" I asked as he frowned. "Yesterday, at the bar, during the game... you said a lot of things that I wanted to ask about."

"It was you." he laughed, closing his eyes in an embarrassed way and rubbing them. "But when I called it said you changed your number or something. One time I think I left a long drunk voice message to someone that was not you, too."

I chuckled and started nibbling on my bottom lip. This was not the answer I expected but fuck, I loved it.

"I wish I had heard it." I admitted, not knowing how I actually would have reacted.

"I can't believe you sent nudes to Harry but you never sent me any. Why?" he asked, amused.

"Because you never asked, and also, you never sent me any either."

"I don't send nudes." he just replied quickly.

"You should. To me."

His eyes dropped to my lips again and I smiled. I turned my whole body on the side and he did the same. Our faces were now so close I could feel his breath hit gently my forehead.

"Maybe I will."

I chuckled and licked my lips but as we kept staring at each other, I realized how deep the connection we had actually was. I realized how tough it was to stay away from each other and how crazy it seemed to even try.

"What we feel for each other." I started low. "It's visceral."

He nodded slowly. "You and me... we make so much sense, don't you think?"

I lost my smile and nodded slowly. It did. Nothing made more sense than that. I squirmed a bit on the carpet to get closer and brushed my lips against his. The fact that our faces were upside down made it slightly more exciting and when he slipped his tongue in my mouth, I felt my inner thighs start throbbing so hard that I knew I could cum in less than five seconds.

The kiss was slow and sloppy but it was so good I shut my eyes tight, making sure no other part of my body actually moved. I ended up squeezing his tongue with my lips and sucking gently on it, if only to taste him longer. It made him groan and I stopped, freeing his tongue as my lips curled. I was delighted to know I still had some sort of effect on him.

"Pet, don't do that, you're making yourself impossible to resist."

I knew we couldn't do anything and I didn't intend to. I wanted it, I couldn't pretend otherwise, but It was wrong and we both knew it.

"Do you want to sleep here?" I asked as he nodded. "In my bed?" He nodded again. "Are you gonna spoon me?"

"You know I will."

We both got up, almost tripping because of all the alcohol in our bodies, and we started laughing before walking (or more zigzagging) in the hall, dropping random pieces of clothing on our way. We ended up in my bed, under the covers with the lights off, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed on mine. I was wearing his shirt again and had kept my panties while he was just wearing boxers. I loved the feeling of his thighs pressed on mine more than I could explain. It burned and at the same time, it made my whole body vibrate. I was close to fall asleep when I heard his voice, making my eyes flutter open again.

"You didn't tell me."

I frowned and reached for his arm that was around my waist, running my fingertips on it gently.

"Tell you what?"

"I told you how much I loved you, but you didn't tell me how you feel."

My heart jumped in my chest and I remained quiet for a few seconds before squirming as I tried to turn my body around. I had to sit up for a few seconds to untwist my shirt and finally lied back down, facing him. His hair was a mess and I was desperate to slip my fingers in it again.

"I'm in love with you, Niall." I let out, staring in his eyes. "I've always been. You're my soulmate. I love you."

"Real love?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, a small smile playing on his lips as one also appeared on mine.

"Real love."

[turdblossommm]

I’ll Fly Away {14}

Summary: You had a rough childhood and are closed off from people in fear of being hurt again. James Barnes is the complete opposite from you, he grew up well and healthy. James Barnes knew how to get what he wants but when he faces the challenge of knowing you will he succeed

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

A/N: This is the end, I have loved and hated writing this story. I’ve put a lot of my own insecurities into the story and it was hard to write about them. Thanks for reading and there will be an epilogue! To the end of the line with you guys

A/N pt.2: Shout out to @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency who has always let a comment and a like. Thanks for the support boo

part 13 / masterlist

Bucky held your hand as you watched Annie slowly slip away, he had no idea how to comfort you or make you feel better. It had been a long three days for you between Annie slipping in and out of consciousness and her children and ex-husband coming to the hospital.

“Don’t worry your checks are already signed” You glared at Henry, Bucky shifted in his seat. He wasn’t familiar with the cool tone you were using and it was a bit unnerving for him. Between the glares from you and Natasha’s he thought Henry might spontaneously combust.

“I’m here to see my dying wife”

“Ex-wife” You snapped and Bucky grabbed your hand in hopes of calming you down

“You have no right to talk to me like that” He snapped back “She isn’t your mom” You stood from you chair, not letting him see how his words hurt you

“Listen here shit head” You jabbed your finger in his chest “I was the one who took care of her, I was the only one there for her when you left. She would’ve died a long time ago if it wasn’t for me” You glared past him at his children who stood behind him avoiding your glances “So you can leave I’ll mail the checks” Henry turned to his sons 

“Let’s go” You smirked 

“Henry wait” You dug around your pockets and pulled out a penny and placed it in his hand “That’s all she left you” You could see his blood boil as he turned away from you and you collapsed next to Nat on the couch. She wrapped her arms around you as you curled into her side.

He watched as you wrote their addresses in your perfect handwriting after your interview with T’Challa. Annie passed away in her sleep two days before, Bucky tried to convince her to wait for the interview and she muttered something about Annie not wanting her to stop her life.

Bucky could feel her pulling away from him, he understood that she need space. So when you didn’t ask him to help you clean out Annie’s house, he felt his heart almost break. Natasha followed her out of the apartment, leaving him in your kitchen alone.

“Bucky” He turned to Natasha “She has known nothing but loss and Annie used to be the only stable thing she had until she met you. She’s afraid she’ll lose you too” Bucky swallowed 

“She won’t” Natasha gave him a sad smile

“I know, just give her some time” 

Bucky drove out to his mother’s house and watched from the window, to make sure you were okay. Winny watched with a sad smile, she did enjoy Annie and her heart broke as she read the beautiful obituary written by you

Annette Josephine O’Hera

Born in 1934 in Duluth, Minnesota where as a child she’s wait for her father to return from fishing trip along the docks and later she’d wait for her three older brothers. Annette attended Columbia University in 1952 where she met her husband Henry O’Hera where they studies foreign policies.

Annette had two sons, Gregory and Johnathon who both have children of their own. After her sons had grown and gone off to college Annette and Henry fostered a little girl name Y/N.

After Annette’s divorce she traveled and found joy in gardening. Annette retired in 1999 from her job as a political analysis. She moved to upstate New York when she few ill with Alzheimer’s.

Annette is predeceased by her parents and brothers, and his survived by her daughter Y/N Y/L/N, the one who was always there for her

Her funeral will be held next Saturday.

 You felt nothing, you cried all your tears, your throat was raw from all your crying. You almost relaxed at Bucky’s touch as he zipped up your black dress. You knew you weren’t being fair to him, but it was better to feel nothing that feel all of it all over again.

Bucky could see the hurt in your eyes, he was proud that you could get up and talk in front of all those people. He held your hand as people took turns telling stories about Annie, Bucky watched the slide show in awe with Annie’s favorite song playing in the background. What Annie had done in her life was astonishing, his heart kept when pictures of you as a child popped up on the screen.

“Thank you all for coming” Bucky watched you “There will be food and drinks back at Annie’s house” You stepped down from the podium and bid everyone a goodbye and stepped out of the funeral home.

“Bucky I just want to be alone” You turned to him as he had followed you out

“You don’t have to be” He grabbed her hand

“But I do Bucky, I just lost all the family I have left” You snapped and pulled your hand out of his “I have no one”

“You have Nat” He tried to reason with you

“She’s going to marry Clint and then have a family of her own, I’ll continue to be a burden” You shook your head

“Dammit Y/N you have me” He finally snapped at you “I love you and nothing is going to change that” He watched as tears filled your eyes

“But what if it does?” Bucky felt his heart clench “What if you stop loving me, I’m a nightmare with a million issues. There will come a day when you stop loving me” You quickly turned away from him and met Nat in the parking lot.

Ten days.

It had been ten days since Annie’s funeral and ten days since you’ve seen Bucky, you were lying to yourself that you missed him but you never wanted to feel pain like this again. You were distracting yourself by helping Nat pack up the apartment with Ares tearing boxes apart.

She finally decided to move in with Clint after you told her you were going to move to Manhattan to be closer to your new job. T’Challa has been ever kind through the whole process and allowed you a few days off before you official start working with him.

The job was a good distraction unlike the deli where you stood before a wall all day, now you were reading potential books. You were living the dream while your heart was breaking for Annie and longing for Bucky.

You shoved the last box of yours in the crappy Ford Focus you bought with your first pay check. You loaded Ares up in the back seat and while walking around to the drivers side you caught a familiar pair of blue eyes.

“Y/N” You shook your head as he walked over to you “I need to talk to you”

“I’m busy right now” You looked away from him

“Are you moving?” You nodded

“To Manhattan, closer to work” You gave him a weak smile

“We’re you going to tell me?” He scoffed

“I thought it was very clear where we stood after the funeral” You snapped

“You’re just going to leave me? Pretend like we never had anything” You nodded 

“Yes because I’m better alone Bucky, I’ve alway been alone”

‘You’re better alone?” He snapped “You could barely walk in crowds before you met me”

“We both had our flaws before we me which we both found endearing now but later, maybe months or years we will hate each other for them and I can’t take this kind of heartbreak again” You sniffled “Goodbye Bucky I wish you the very best in life” You slammed the door and drove away with tears streaming down your face.

Bucky watched you drive away from him, not know when and if he’d ever see you again.

TAGLIST: @skeletoresinthebasement @iamwarrenspeace @youreahandsomedevil @alina-barnes @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency @ambivalence-is-me @101killer @stat89posts

A/N pt.3: im so sorry, im a mess too and ive known forever

[imbeccablee]

5, 8, 13, and 19!

(this got a little long so im putting it under a read more)

5. Share one of your strengths

rex my good dude you could NOT have picked a harder thing for me to do. how dare you try and make me compliment myself.

anyway, uhhhhh probably my overactive imagination? or something? like, honestly, i’m kinda constantly thinking about my WIPs or possible fics (which is obvious if you look at all the abandoned one shots in my drafts lmao). But like, I’m always thinking about stuff to write and that has led to some of my favorite fics i’ve written, like Warm Pancakes or smth.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and why you’re proud of it

“Um,” Krel hesitated, the question burning his throat. He tried another approach. “Could I… stay with you, tonight?”

Aja rubbed one of her eyes, propping herself up with her two right arms. “Huh? I mean, yes, but why?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Aja nodded like that was an acceptable answer and slid over to make more room. Grateful, Krel crawled beside her and sighed in relief as Aja’s arms wrapped around him. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” Krel turned his head so his face was half buried in one of Aja’s pillows.

Aja giggled sleepily, rubbing her hands up and down Krel’s back. “That’s okay, little brother, we do not have to talk. We can just sleep.”

She closed her eyes again and her hands stilled on his back. He looked at her for a few moments before sighing. “Aja, um…”

“Are you implying Princess Aja is bondless?”

“Yes?” Aja’s eyes were open again, looking at him patiently, oblivious to how the light gray and void black mocked him.

“I’m just saying it’s very much in the realm of possibility. “I mean, think about it. Aja passes the time in which children normally have their corebonded declared, and suddenly the royals are incredibly hush-hush about the subject? 

And, well, I guess it doesn’t exactly matter, what with Prince Krel and all. It’s not like when you’re a royal there’s any real reason to have a second kid than to have a backup in case the first one doesn’t work out for whatever reason."

“Um…” Krel faltered. “Do you ever think about where your corebonded might be?”

Minutely, Aja froze. If he hadn’t been so close to her, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. “Er,” she stammered. “O-Of course, Krel, who doesn’t?”

“Well,” Krel paused, the words stuck in his throat. “Most Akiridions, apparently, since they find their corebonded when they’re young.” Aja flinched. “And I just… I just wonder about ours,” Krel plowed on. “Like… imagine, being brought before the royals of Akiridion-5 and it being revealed that you are cosmically bonded with one of the royals’ children.” He forced out a laugh. “That’d be—That’d be crazy, right? Imagine.”

“Krel…”

“And then… I was just thinking about how devastating it would be if that were to never happen,” he said, and Aja stared at him. He swallowed hard and continued. “I was just thinking about how there might not be some Akiridion kid who walks up those steps to Mama and Papa and is declared to be bonded to one of us. I was thinking about how, when our ceremonies happen, what if one of us doesn’t find our match on Akiridion-5. I was thinking about how we might not… find them at all.”

Aja’s lips were pursed together now, and for a moment she just stared at him. Then, “Krel, you know that’s not—”

“Aja, why didn’t Mama and Papa declare your corebonded?” Krel interrupted.

“That’s—I—”

“Why haven’t I met them yet, at least?” Krel continued. “Why haven’t you explained how pretty everything is in color yet? You’re passed the age where they find out, right? So what happened?”

“Krel, nothing happened!” Aja cut in. She sat up abruptly and moved away from him, and Krel immediately missed the comfort that came from her close presence. “It’s just—complicated.”

“I don’t get it!” Krel sat up too. “Why are Mama and Papa breaking tradition and waiting to declare ours?”

“Because—”

“Why were you so tense at the announcement todelson?”

“That’s—”

“Everyone has a corebond—right?—so why haven’t you found yours yet?”

“Because I might not have one!” Aja finally shouted. She flinched and looked away from Krel’s surprised expression, her hands balling into fists.

Krel stewed in their silence, feeling both ashamed and desperate for a different answer. Finally, his sympathy won out. “I’m… sorry, Aja, I shouldn’t have been so forceful.”

Aja sighed and tucked some hair behind her ear. “No, it’s… I would’ve been curious too…” She opened her fists and looked down at them. “Mama and Papa said that them not finding my corebonded doesn’t mean anything besides that they’re not Akiridion. They said it was totally and completely okay and normal for this to happen, but…” She shook her head. 

“But… you kind of feel like you’ve let them down?” Krel guessed. He mimicked Aja's position, wrapping his arms tightly around his knees. “And that they were just saying that to make you feel better?”

“Er, yeah.” Aja looked up, surprised. “But why do you…” Krel gave her a lopsided smile, a look in his eye saying you know. “Oh, Krel, you know they’re so proud of you. They love you so much.”

Krel sighed and looked at his feet. “Yeah. I know. It’s just hard to really feel it sometimes, especially when I also know I’m not what Papa really wanted in a son. I’m not exactly your average prince.”

Aja giggled and punched his arm lightly. “Who would want an average prince when they could have a genius one like you?”

Krel smiled, still sad, but grateful. “Thanks, Aja.”

“So…” She sidled up beside him again, leaning against her propped up knees to look him in the eye. “Are you gonna tell me what brought on the corebond stuff?”

“I…” Krel broke eye contact. “I overheard some of the staff talking a couple delsens ago and it… I dunno, I guess it got to me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing too weird, I guess, it’s just…” Krel shook his head. “They were talking about you… and your possible corebonded.”

“Oh.” Aja looked put out again.

“And then…” Krel continued. “They… started talking about me.”

Aja’s face switched from melancholic to furious so quickly Krel reeled back a little. “What did they say about you?” she growled and Krel felt a little better knowing Aja would so quickly defend his honor.

“Not a lot,” he quickly replied. “Just… Well, they just implied something, and it’s making me feel… weird.”

“... What was it?” Aja asked slowly.

Krel rubbed at the faintly glowing gray lines going around his feet. “When they were talking about you, they implied that Mama and Papa wouldn’t have wanted you as their heir because of your corebonded. Which isn’t true of course!” Krel quickly amended, seeing something dark cross through Aja’s eyes. “But… then they said that was where I came in. That I… was only made in case something went… wrong with you because it wasn’t likely that I, too, would have a non-Akiridion corebonded, and that it was “only right that only Akiridions take the throne”.”

Aja laid a hand on one of Krel’s. “Oh, Krel, that’s not true at all.”

“I… know,” he said, but he hesitated and Aja noticed too.

“Mama and Papa love you, Krel,” she insisted.

“I know,” Krel said. “I don’t… I normally don’t doubt that.” Aja gave him an exasperated look that he ignored. “It’s just… all I can think about now.”

“Don’t listen to some gossip, little brother, it means nothing. Who cares what a few staff members think? We are a family, and nothing will ever get in the way of that." Aja shrugged then. "Besides, I'm sure they only say that sort of stuff to let out some anger. I mean, we may be wonderful people, but even the most patient Akiridion would get frustrated after waiting hand and foot on us all delson, right? I know I would."

Krel laughed a little, the coil of tension in his spine relaxing some. Aja smiled gently at him, though he could see the worry in her eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Krel said.

Aja giggled. “Of course I am. I’m your older sister.” Krel smiled and relaxed further when Aja wrapped two arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. She leaned her head against his and Krel softly sighed, the emotions that had kept him wound up for most of the delson finally dispersing and leaving him quite exhausted. Although his concerns hadn't completely gone away, he did feel better after talking about it.

They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s comfort, for a long time. When they finally did move, Krel bashfully asked, “Can I still stay the night?” to which Aja replied, “Of course, dummy.”

They laid back down and cuddled closer. A few moments passed after they relaxed and Krel said, “... Thank you, Aja.”

Aja hummed then replied, “Any time, little brother. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

---

this is from my Tales of Arcadia fic, Starcrossed, from the first chapter. i dunno, i just really loved how this turned out! i had spent a lot of time on the whole chapter before i finally posted it, and i think i really nailed what i was trying to establish with their relationship with each other, their parents, and themselves. i reread it a lot, along with Warm Pancakes.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Probably the one that’s like, write the thing you want to read. Forcing yourself to write something you think others would want can be miserable, and like writing should be a good thing. You should be proud of the stuff you wrote and look back on your old stuff fondly. It’s ten times easier writing the stuff you want to write than making yourself write stuff you think other people want.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

ah probably not? like, what defines a muse? i write because i like to write and because i need to vent somehow and because i’m good at it. i guess you could say i’m my own muse, in that case.

[petitesimss]

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by the beautiful @timouke to do this challenge so here we go I guess?!

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions! :)

My Traits: Clumsy, Goofball, and Genius 

(According to other people, I swear I didn't label myself as a genius! xD)

Really quick I would like to go ahead and tag of my FAV simblrs: @mmfinds @stardustsim @blushchat @brindletonsims @mochieo @awsimmer92 @fussysim @simplistic-sims4 @tainoodles and also anyone who wants to do it!

1. What is your full name? Megan :)

2. What is your nickname? Meg (Omg so basic)

3. When is your birthday? October 7th

4. Favorite book series? ‘ARRY POTTER!

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Uhm not aliens but I think some form of ghosts exist. Not necessarily the scary ones xD

6. Favorite author? John Green

7. Favorite Radio Station? I don’t listen to the radio oof

8. What is your favorite flavor of everything? Chocolate or Strawberry!! Mmmm

9. What word will you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing or just a *gasp* noise

10. What is your current favorite song? Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran

11. Favorite word? oof

12. What was the last song you listened to? Currently listening to Pentatonix’s cover of Hallelujah

13. What TV show do you recommend? I am currently obsessed with Vampire Diaries

14. Favorite movie to watch when you’re upset? Omg this is weird but those classic like 2005 Barbie movies always cheer me up

15. Do you play video games? Not really other than sims ofc :P

16. Biggest Fear? Dark Bathrooms (especially the mirrors, its a long story)

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drive to work hard or maybe just my general compassion for everyone

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? LAZINESS

19. Cats or dogs? CATS I HAVE THREE

20. Favorite season? Fall because of sweaters and moderately cool weather

21. Are you in a relationship? Oui!

22. Something you miss from your childhood? Barbie Movies

23. Best friend? My boyfriend xD

24. Eye color? Chocolate brown

25. Hair color? Dark brown, black at the roots

26. Who is someone you love? My mother xD

27. Who is someone you trust? My mother

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend (These answers are so basic oof)

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? IM SEEING THE CRIMES OF GRINDLEWALD TOMORROW

30. Biggest obsession? Cats

31. Favorite TV show as a kid? Probably I-Carly or Hannah Montana

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My boyfriend

33. Are you superstitious? Unintentionally yes

34. Any unusual phobias? Dark bathrooms xD

35. In front of the camera or behind it? Both

36. Favorite Hobby? Sims eek

37. Last book your read? Idk why but I stopped reading and so I have no idea

38. Last movie you watched? Not all of it but some of Pitch Perfect (I’ve already seen the whole thing don't worry)

39. Play an instrument? My voice and also a bit of the keyboard

40. Favorite Animal? Cat.

41. Top five tumblr blogs you follow? ALL OF THEM DANG IT

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Flight!

43. Where and when do you feel the most at peace? At home, sleeping in my bed

44. What makes you smile? Literally life

45. What sports do you play, if any? I’ve been in dance for 13 years

46. Favorite drink? Coca-Cola

47. Last time you wrote a handwritten note or letter to someone? This week actually!

48. Afraid of heights? DUH

49. Biggest pet peeve? SLOW WALKERS JUST WALK PLEASE

50. Ever been to a concert? Yep and I’ve been in several local ones

51. Vegan or Vegetarian? Heck no 

52. What did you want to be when you were little? A pop star xD

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Just. Hogwarts. Always.

54. What is something you worry about? If I am actually liked by people

55. Scared of the dark? Only in bathrooms dude

56. Do you like to sing? YES (Soprano 1 - Mezzo)

57. Ever skipped school? Nope, I’m a good bean

58. Favorite place on the planet? Bed.

59. Where would you like to live? New York or Paris

60. Have any pets? 3 cats (Bella, Possum, and Ty) and also a fish whose name I don't remember

61. Early bird or Night owl? NIGHT OWL

62. Sunrises or Sunsets? I’m gonna go with sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? I should but I don't xD

64. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds but not the ones you get with an iPhone, those suck!

65. Ever had braces? Three years I think total, and I just had to get a 6 week retainer set to close a small gap that came back :(

66. Favorite genre of music? Pop I guess xD Or musical theater!

67. Who is your hero? My stepdad

68. Do you read comic books? No but my stepdad did xD

69. What makes you the most angry? When people make jokes about things like cancer or diabetes (THEY ARENT FUNNY)

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Definitely a real book, My eyes don't hurt as much plus they smellll soooo goooodd

71. Favorite Subject? English or Science

72. Any siblings? So this is complicated but I have one half brother, a half-step brother, and a half-step sister

73. The last thing you bought? I bought a journal and some bath salts for my friend’s birthday

74. How tall are you? So I used to be 5′2 but every time I go to the doctor they measure me at like 5′1 and I am confusion

75. Can you cook? Yes but I prefer baking

76. Three things you love? My family, my friends, and food (Omg I typed foot at first EEK)

77. Three things you hate? I LITERALLY DONT HATE ANYTHING IM SORRY

78. Do you have more female friends or male friends? Female oof

79. Sexual orientation? Straight But why did you need to know??

80. Where do you currently live? Louisiana OOOF

81. Last person you texted? My boyfriend, specifically “hehehe yess”

82. Last time you cried? Watching “A Walk to Remember” a few weeks ago

83. Favorite youtuber? All of them, rip

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes but only because I don't like the pictures other people take of me xD

85. Favorite app? BUZZFEED or maybe netflix

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I love my mom and we are close but me and my biological dad don't talk

87. Favorite foreign accent? FRENCH OR BRITISH

88. Place you’ve never been to but want to visit? Hawaii or Paris

89. Favorite number? 2 but also literally any even number

90. Can you juggle? Who on here can actually juggle cause I want to be your best friend please (so no)

91. Are you religious? I’m supposed to be catholic but I haven't been to church in a while

92. Is outer space or the deep ocean more interesting? The deep ocean because I want to be a mermaid

93. Do you consider yourself a daredevil? No I am the opposite oof

94. Are you allergic to anything? Cats and dogs, pollen, grass, apparently something in the meningitis vaccine (ITS A LONG STORY)

95. Can you curl your tongue? YOU BET I CAN

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No but I can shake my eyes

97. How often do you admit that you’re wrong about something? I am never wrong, ever.

98. The forest or the beach? The beach cause mermaids

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given to you? Do what you love, don’t work for money.

100. Are you a good liar? I am a TERRIBLE liar

101. Hogwarts house? Gryffindor but my hybrid house is Gryffinpuff soooo...

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to tbh but now I usually just sing to myself

103. Introvert of Extrovert? Extrovert but I love me time

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No I just deal with my thoughts

105. Do you believe in second chances? Absolutely

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Look for identification in it so I can return it to it’s owner

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Of course!

108 Are you ticklish? VERY

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes, I was on one last weekend

110. Any piercings? Only my basic ear piercings

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Ronald Weasley

112. Any tattoos? No but I wanna get a few small ones later in life

113. Best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Care for others is far more rewarding than wallowing in sadness

114. Do you believe in karma? It depends, really

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I used to wear glasses but since one of my eyes is near sighted and the other is far sighted they balance each other out enough so that I don’t necessarily need them anymore

116. Do you want children? YES LIKE 3-5

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My stepdad

118. Most embarrassing moment? That time I asked my bestfriend at the time’s sister if I could wear a pad on a water slide (IT WAS MY FIRST PERIOD OKAY?)

119. Ever pulled an all-nighter? I’ve made it to 6 am xD

120. What color are most of your clothes? Yellow or pink :P

121. Do you like adventures? PLANNED adventures, yes

122. Ever been on tv? A few times

123. How old are you? 16

124. Favorite quote? But without the dark, we’d never see the stars

125. Sweet or savory foods? SWEEETTT

OML THIS TOOK FOREVER RIP

[runeunknown]

1-50 😁

I enjoy learning new stuff about anyone. Sorry if it's too much!!

No you're fine!!! 😁

1. My socks are light Gray! Haha.

2. I've never lied about my age or felt the need to.

3. Something I regret in the past month, hmmm. Maybe a few things I've done in public I felt were embarrassing? Otherwise not much.

4. I dunno how I feel about love at first sight. I wanna believe in it but I just don't know lmao. Though I know plenty of people who swear they've experienced it.

5. The last time I wrote someone a letter on paper was probably 3+ years ago.

6. I was probably like 8 or 9 when I learned how to ride a bike. My dad taught me.

7. I do get along with my parents most of the time. With my dad we rarely fight. With my mom things can switch pretty quickly but our relationship has gotten better over the years.

8. My favorite season is fall. All the dead leaves and chilly air.

9. Ooooooooooo yeah I do.

10. I haven't used a ouija board and never plan on it. Lmao.

11. The last song I sang is "I'm drunk and I miss you still" by savage ga$p ft 1nonly and lilbubblegum.

12. My favorite scent is probably anything lemon/citrus.

13. Mothman is by far my favorite urban legend.

14. A bad habit I have is grinding my teeth. 😅

15. A strange habit of mine is I mess my gauges like all the time. I do it while drawing, driving 😅😂

16. I learned to play the flute first actually. Lmaooo. Sometimes I forget I spent any time in band growing up.

17. I guess my type would be people who are kind and understanding??? Haha. I don't feel like I have a type.

18. I almost always would rather stay in. Lol.

19. "Thank you, love you" is the last thing I said to my mom I'm pretty sure.

20. I've done it, dunno about it again. Lmao.

21. Not in the normal teenager way, but yeah when I was a kid my younger brother convinced me to sneak out to watch the sunrise with him. Lmaoo. Otherwise no. I lied about where I was going a lot tho.

22. I don't think I can sing well. Lol.

23. Ooooooo i think my neighbors saw my ass 😂😂😬 that's probably the most embarrassing thing to happen this week.

24. Sledding!??! Probably 8+ years now. Haha.

25. Yeah I have liked someone like that, but I think everyone has at some point?

26. Hahahahahaha yes people mispronounce my name constantly. It's fairly unique so. Haha.

27. Yes I would love to live in another country lmao.

28. I looooove ghost hunting shows.

29. Mmmm my sister, im pretty sure.

30. I wish I was better at expressing my feelings and opening up.

31. Yeah I've stayed up to talk to someone who was sad, and always will.

32. Adobo chicken is the last thing I cooked.

33. Hahaha. Yeah I do.

34. Yeah I have trouble sleeping every night.

35. At her house I imagine.

36. Less than 30 minutes.

37. I try to go to bed by midnight.

38. Hahahahaha i cried last night, cause I was worried about my cat and everything surrounding it.

39. Yeah over the phone and I panicked and gave it to a friend and they claimed it. Lmaoooo.

40. Yeah I'm ok at drawing. Hahaha.

41. Yeah I'd date someone I met online.

42. I ate pizza last.

43. Hahahaha I dunno if I'd be a good girlfriend. I try??? I'm a shit show most of the time tho so 😭

44. No I haven't had a near death experience thankfully.

45. I hope they think positive things about me but I have no actual idea. Hahaha.

46. Leigh-anne. And yeah, plus my niece is getting it as hers after me so it makes it a bit more special idk. Haha.

47. Yeah I'm close to my parents.

48. Hahahaha no. But I'm learning to like myself so getting there.

49. I have 4 face piercings. My hairs green and purple. I'm very very white. I have tattoos. And my eyes change from blue to gray to green depending on a few things.

50. Hard-headed. Stubborn. Passionate. Intense. And I guess kind?? I try at least lol.

[ltcol-laurens]

Hamilton workshop good bits, should be in chronological order and I’ll try to put time stamps, spoiler alert I guess:

Act 1:

 Eliza saying ‘shit’ - she’s a cinnamon roll so I’m glad it wasn’t in the real thing

‘In New york you can be a new mann??’ - It sounds like a question at 2:30

Just you WAIIIIIITTTTTTTT 2:42

Burr sounds done from the beginning 

ME! I’m the damn fool that shot him 3:28

yo yo yo yo heh yo yo yo yo yo (then Antony’s little laugh is so cute) I SAID I’M JOHN LAURENS IN THE PLACE TO BE 5:10 ish

The ahs at the beginning of the story of tonight 11:42 it sounds weird

17:21 IN JERSEY?!

FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE

maANNNN I aint scared of ships

Laurens sounding super sad and depressed at the beginning of Satisfied 32:40

LAURENS SAYING HELLLPPLLESSSS 33:20 This is what listening to that feels like: It feels like I’m in a tunnel and I’m listening to Helpless but I’m tripping some hallucinogens and LAms

 Just the whole of the story of tonight reprise at 36:36 they sound so much more drunk lol 

the newly not POOR of us

bUrr 37:23

44:14 Laurens saying shit what a smol bean

LAURENS SAYING ALEX OMG MY LAMS HEART 44:20 (heh 4:20)

And the way Laurens speaks really quietly like it’s a little intimate moment oh my LAWD

That would be enough 47:34 - Who’s crying??? Also it sounds like a lullaby with the piano in the beginning I love it

Dear Theodosia with guitar (I think) sounds so good I like it 59:40 

Also just the whole bit after 1:01:55 is incredible 

ALEX DONT CRY 1:02:02

OH FRICK NO LAURENS DIES IN THIS ONE TOO he could just not

Act 2:

Founding fathers in a line looking all humble 

He CAN DO THE SAME AMOUNT FROM THERE 1:16:03 chill Al

Keep it brief - Lmao 1:17:22

‘They have tied me to a stake, I cannot fly But, near- like I must fight the course’ - No one understood the reference and as someone who did Macbeth for GCSE I don’t know the reference lmao that’s why they changed it to ‘tomorrow and tomorrow..’

Philip sounds less depressed in this one 1:20:55

ELIZA SINGING HELPLESS IN SAY NO THIS IM NOT OK 1:25:53 

FUCK 1:26:25

How could you do this? - Bitch you did it to yourself ugh. I’m glad they changed it though. 

‘ Company screams in chaos ‘ - Great

Checkmate, game finished

I’ve gotta stop a homicide! - Eliza I love you

Eliza and Burr making polite conversation is cute 1:34:42

Yeah one day he’ll run Manhattan 1:34:56 God he’s like one of those parents that puts everything their child does on facebook 

Eliza saying ‘hon’ how cute (sometimes I cheat on shipping Lams with shipping Hamilton and Eliza don’t kill me)

YOU SWING AT MY FAMILY YOU BETTER NOT MISS YOU BETTER HAVE A BETTER PUNCH TO THROW

People will always be critical They’ll make the personal political They’;; try to knock you off your pedestal, your pinnacle Let other people be cynical

You’re smiling because you know I’m right

You didn’t kill him did you?

Were you here this whole time? 1:26:05   Lmao

JEFFERSON CALLING HAMILTON A BITCH loooooll 1:40:03

He likes taxes so much; can we enact an asshole tax? 1:41:13 MADISON CHILL MY DUDE 

I hear he’s George Washington’s illegitimate son. We don’t know where he’s really from 1:42:13

They’re saying my mother’s a negress 1:42:20 First of all: racist. Second of all, LEAVE RACHEL ALONE 2K17 

Madison wrote the first draft It’s a mess. 1:44:46

PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES - 1:46:27

Just the whole bit of 1:51:30- 1:52:25

Yes, I confess, I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress. 1:54:14 Well that’s true: that story with Peggy Shippen , his mother, Eliza ‘helpless’, Maria etc

‘I tried to’ 1:54:07 Doesn’t that sound like he was unsuccessful and like it was one sided

 Uh OH 1:54:08

Young soft and supple 1:54:13 First of all, that’s gross, second of all ‘young, scrappy and hungry’

Ugh chill out Hamilton

Or you could let it go 1:57:04 MY BOYS BACK EVERYONE. HE ROSE UP FROM THE DEAD. I missed you Laurens. 

The friend who would tell me not to do it is in the ground. 1:57:05 HE TALKS ABOUT LAURENS IN ACT 2 hold my parsnips whilst i cry

Also when Hamilton says ‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory’ and LAURENS is there that’s like he misses Laurens so he wants to be dead to be with Laurens ahh i cry. 

1:58:07 NO

1:58:40 JEFFERSON’s laugh oh my

Just Congratulations is amazing 1:58:52

George’s blatant ‘fuck off’

Thank Theodosia for warning me - Those Philodosia (is that the ship?) feels tho 2:08:13

 DONT VOTE BURR 2:19:18

Your obedient servant is so different woah

Sorry if your life is difficult without your wife - 2:22:37 I would’ve killed him right there and then

Philip never hurt a soul, he must’ve been so scared 2:26:21

My Eliza - 2:26:28 ahhhhh

God I can’t wait to see her again 2:27:03

The real life quote from Alex’s last letter to Eliza makes me want to cry 2:29:18

[conorpmaynard]

All Started With A Song Part 13 // Conor Maynard

Word Count- 1300

Summary- Conor sees your cover and contacts you

A/n- (feel free to change the friends name I was just too lazy to write y/f/n that may times) GUYS THIS IS IT. ITS HERE. AND ITS OVER. IM SO SAD. THIS HAS BEEN AN AMAZING SERIES THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME. also special thanks to @iheartmyyoutubers and @jackmaynardwifey for skyping me while I wrote this :)

~~

May 2013

“Surprise!!” you all screamed as your brother walked into the back yard. He smiled as his friends hugged him.

You hugged him and smiled, “did i surprise ya?”

He laughed, “yeah, ya did.”

You smiled again, going to mingle with some of the other guests.

“That is your brother?” your friend Alice gawked as he chatted with a friend.

“Don’t be weird.” you scoffed.

“He’s so cute!” she giggled.

“Hey Brandon! Come here!” you called him over and Alice’s smile faded.

“What the hell are you doing?” she whisper-yelled.

“Brandon, this is Alice. Alice, Brandon.” you smiled.

“Hi,” he nodded his head at the brunnette.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Can you take our pic?” you smirked as you handed her your phone. You grabbed a balloon from the bundle next to the cake and hopped on your brothers back.

“Say cheese!” Alice giggled, but you settled for a kiss on the cheek.

~~

Alice was frozen at the front door. Olivia gave you a look that said ‘what the fuck were you thinking?’ You shrugged and watched the brunette.

“Hi.” your brother said, waiting for a response.

Instead, Alice rushed passed him and down the hallway.

“Alice!” you shouted, but Olivia stopped you.

“Let me.” She rushed passed Brandon as well, heading after your friend.

“What just happened?” Brandon asked, eyeing both you and Conor.

“I don’t know,” you said. “But it’s so good to see you.”

Brandon opened his arms and you ran into them. “I’ve missed you little sis.”

“Ditto big bro.”

“Who’s this?” Brandon motioned towards COnor.

“Brandon, Conor. Conor, Brandon.”

“Sup mate,” Conor awkwardly nodded towards your brother. Brandon gave you an odd look.

“Alright, well you two get to know each other. I am going to find my best friend.”

Before either could argue, you were out the door and down the hallway. Before you rounded the corner you heard, “-she think I’d be happy? He broke up with me! Why would she be so selfish?”

Guilt filled you as you walked around the corner and saw your best friends sat against the wall.

“Alice-”

“Go away,” she interrupted.

“Listen, I didn-” you started again.

“No! I don’t want to see you. Leave me alone.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.

You scoffed, “Okay.” You turned to walk away, the anger inside you rising.

She stood up, “I can’t believe you. I mean, did you really think that would end well?”

You turned around and faced the brunette, “Yeah, I did. Because you guys are obviously meant for each other!”

“He broke my heart! How are we ‘meant for each other?!?’” she yelled, using air quotes.

“Are you serious?” you laughed mirthlessly.

“Just leave,” she waved you off and rubbed her eyes.

You turned to walk away, but your feet didn’t move. The anger inside you was beyond controllable. The words came flowing out before you could stop yourself, “No actually. You know what? I can’t without saying this: Brandon didn’t break up with you because he wanted to. He left for school, and if you seriously think that breaking up with you didn’t absolutely ruin him then you’re the most self centered person i know. I took him months to even change your contact let alone think of another girl. He didn’t break your heart because he didn't love you, he broke it because it would hurt less than breaking it over the phone. So please, stop thinking that everyone is out to get you and grow the fuck up.” you turned around and starting walking back to Alice’s apartment to grab your things.

~~

You and Brandon had gone out to dinner that night to celebrate him coming home. You invited Conor but he insisted that you two go alone. After your meal, you headed back to your apartment for the night.

“Listen,” your brother started as you grabbed a bag of popcorn from the cabinet. “I don’t want to come between you and Alice.”

“Please,” you scoffed.

He gave you a weird look and you continued. “You got between us at your birthday party 3 years ago.”

He chuckled and murmured something like ‘yeah you’re right.’

You two agreed on watching Batman. You wanted to watch 10 Things I Hate About You, but Brandon refused. So you agreed on a different Heath Ledger film.

“Oi!” you laughed. “Get your cold feet off me!”

“Don’t discriminate!” he smiled devilishly, and stuck his toes against your shin.

Brandon had just thrown popcorn at you when the doorbell rang. He gave you a weird look but stood up nonetheless.

“No, I got it.” you jumped up, and walked to the door. You opened it and there stood Alice, tear stained cheeks and blotchy eyes.

“Can we talk?” she said, voice hoarse.

“Who’s we?” you said, still someone annoyed with your friend.

“All of us.” you nodded, and let her in.

The tension in the room was suddenly off the charts. You three headed back to the living room and all sat down. You paused the movie as Brandon cleared his throat.

“So?”

“I’m sorry,” Alice said. “I overreacted.”

“It’s okay.” you smiled. “I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

“It’s alright, I just freaked out a lil.” She laughed lightly.

“Okay, well I’m gonna leave you two alone,” you motioned towards the two. “So you can work it out.”

~~

You quietly sat on your porch as you sipped your tea. You watched as cars passed by and every now and then a person would run passed. You heard the door open and Conor walked out, smiling when he saw you.

“There you are,” he sat next to you, taking your cup of tea.

“Sure. have a sip.” you scoffed, curling into his side.

He grabbed your hand, interlocking your hands. “Are you excited?”

You fiddled with the ring on your left hand, “Of course I am.”

He kissed your temple, “They’ll be here soon, let’s get ready.”

You and Conor both got ready and tidy up a bit before your guest arrived. You were sat on the couch, scrolling through Twitter when the doorbell rang.

“Coming!” Conor shouted, walking to the door. In a matter of seconds you heard two sets of pattering on the floor and suddenly two tiny humans were running to you.

“Aunt Y/n/n!” they both squealed, jumping on the couch to sit next to you.

“Carter!” you laughed, tickling the little boy.

“Beth!” you mimicked, tickling the little girl sat opposite Carter.

“Kids, take off your shoes.” Brandon said, setting down a bag.

“Yes, daddy!” they said in unison as they hopped off the couch.

“Hey,” you smiled, getting up to hug your brother.

“Are we the first ones here?” he asked, hugging you back.

“Yep! Olivia and Sean wont be here til late.”

He nodded and then shook Conor’s hand.

“Wheres-”

Brandon cut you off, “Guestroom.”

You headed up the stairs and to the room. “Babes? You in here?”

“Yeah!” you heard a voice call.

You walked in and saw Alice, holding your newborn niece. “Is she asleep?”

“Barely, want to hold her?”

You smiled and made grabby hands. She was so tiny and holding her made you want a baby for yourself.

~~

After dinner and putting the kids to bed, the six of you were sat into the living room. Olivia and Sean had arrived not too long ago. You were all chatting about the last few months, trying to make up for lost time.

“Y/n? You alright babes?” Alice’s voice brought you out of your thoughts as Conor rubbed your arm.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Brandon questioned.

“It’s crazy.”

“What is?” Conor said, placing a hand on your back.

“This,” you motioned towards the people surrounding you. “All started with a song.”

[simprising]

100 questions tag

i was tagged by @liv-sims, @simatrix and @pixelbloom (thank you!!!)

1. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

closed i can’t sleep when they are open lol

2. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

no

3. do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

out bc i need some air!!!!

4. have you stolen a street sign before?

sorry to disappoint but no!!!!

5. do you like to use post-it notes?

yes i do

6. do you cut out coupons but never use them?

no

7. would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm or bees.

that’s a hard one so i can’t choose sorry i don’t want to die

8. do you have freckles?

i used to but not anymore :-) (I MISS THEM I WAS SO CUTE)

9. do you always smile for pictures?

well yes on family pictures :-)

10. what is your biggest pet peeve?

seeing a spider in my room

11. do you ever count your steps when you walk?

no

12. have you peed in the woods?

yes lmao

13. have you ever pooped in the woods?

i think i did??? can’t remember if that day i peed or pooped

14. do you ever dance even when there’s no music playing?

when i’m celebrating yes lmao

15. do you chew your pens and pencils?

i started like 2 months ago bc of one of my friend smh i hate her

16.  how many people have you slept with this week?

does my cat count?

17. what size is your bed?

i have a double bed!!!! (bless my parents for my new room)

18. what is your song of the week?

trading time by r5 because you know i love r5 and there’s a new ep and it’s amazing it’s beautiful it’s art

19. is it okay for guys to wear pink?

totally

20. do you still watch cartoons?

yes when idk what to watch or when i’m feeling nostalgic

21. what is your least favourite movie?

i have no idea

22. where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

well probably in my garden bc i wouldn’t like to be away from my treasure??

23. what do you drink with dinner?

water or coke (i know its bad)

24. what do you dip chicken nuggets in?

nOTHING WHY WOULD I DO THAT CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE TOO GOOD TO DIP THEM IN SOMETHING

25. what is your favourite food?

CHICKEN NUGGETS

26. what movies could you watch over and over again and still love?

romantic movies :-)

27. last person you kissed?

my friends to tell them goodbye after school lol 

28. were you ever a boy/girl scout?

no

29. would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

no

30. when was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

4 years ago to do a work experience

31. can you change the oil on a car?

i think i can??? never done that actually but my driving teachers told me how to

32. ever gotten a speeding ticket?

no never i hate breaking the rules when it comes to driving bc we’re not alone out there so pls respect ppl and their security thank you (i wish my mom could understand that)

33. ever run out of gas?

no

34. what’s your favourite type of sandwich?

ham sandwich a classic in france!!!!

35. best thing to eat for breakfast?

cereals

36. what is your usual bedtime?

11pm when there’s school in the morning

37. are you lazy?

yes i am

38. when you were a kid what did you dress up for as Halloween?

never celebrated it!!

39. what is your Chinese astrological sign?

tiger!!!!!! love it

40. how many languages can you speak?

3

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

no

42. Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?

what even are lincoln logs?

43. are you stubborn?

yes all the damn time i’m sorry

44. who is better Leno or Letterman?

idk who that is

45. ever watch soap operas?

no

46. are you afraid of heights?

it depends

47. do you sing in the car?

yes lmao

48. Do you sing in the shower?

all the time

49. do you dance in the car?

no??

50. ever used a gun?

well no it’s not a thing as it is in some countries.... looks so scary to me

51. last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

never lmao why am i not american i want a year book!!!!!

52. do you think musicals are cheesy?

yes they are but <33

53. is Christmas stressful?

OMG NO CHRISTMAS IS THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!!

54. ever eat a Pierogi?

no

55. favourite type of fruit pie?

apple

56. occupations you wanted to be when you were a child?

writer hehe

57. do you believe in ghosts?

yes i do and i’m a very rational person. little stories: i had lunch at school once and i felt a hand with claws on my shoulder and i screamed, then it was gone. also last summer i’m sure the house i was spending my holidays was haunted. like one night it was very windy and it was not even real, i mean the weather forecast didn’t plan it and my parents didn’t hear anything so yea scary stories. and i was awake and everything it really happened

58. ever had a deja-vu feeling?

almost once a week

59. do you take a vitamin daily?

sometimes during winter when i’m feeling a little down

60. do you wear slippers?

i used to but i’ve been seeing a chiropodist so i can’t for like 2 years lmao

61. do you wear a bath robe?

yes!!! currently wearing it <3

62. what do you wear to bed?

underwear + tee

63. what was your first concert?

my uncle!!! he’s a musician :-)

64. Walmart, Target, or Kmart?

IM FREAKING FRENCH 

65. Nike or Addidas?

i honestly don’t care

66. Cheetos or Fritos?

IM FRENCH

76. Peanuts or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts!!

68. ever heard of the group Tres Bien?

no but i appreciate french :-)

69. ever take dance lessons?

yes!!! during 5 years hehe and i still can’t dance

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

no i don’t really care

71. Can you curl your tongue?

no it’s so sad!!!!!

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

doesn’t exist here

73. have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes at my 18th birthday party when everyone was singing happy birthday lmao i cry so easily

74. own any record albums?

yes!!! dangerous woman!!!!! <33 (is that a record album?? don’t really know if it means vinyl or not)

75. own a record player?

no

76. do you regularly burn incense?

i think i do

77. ever been in love?

no!! i believe you can only be in love when you’re in a relationship despite all of my friends say!!! and i’ve never been in a relationship!!!! heyo!!!!

78. who would you like to see in concert?

R5 OMG PLS BUT IM SO SAD THEY COME SO FAR WAY FROM ME WHY DO ARTISTS ONLY SEE PARIS

79. what was the last concert you saw?

my uncle again lol

80. hot tea or cold tea?

I HATE TEA

81. tea or coffee?

I HATE BOTH

82. sugar cookies or snickerdoodles?

i only know sugar cookies lol

83. can you swim well?

yes

84. can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes

85. are you patient?

not at all

86. DJ or band at wedding?

BAND

87. ever won a contest?

no

88. have you ever had plastic surgery?

no

89. which are better black or green olives?

I DONT LIKE IT

90. can you knit or crochet?

my mom managed to teach me but i just can’t

91. best room for a fireplace?

living room

92. would you like to get married one day?

yes :-)

93. if married, how long have you been married?

HEHE :-) :-)

94. who was your high school crush?

i had so many crushes i don’t even know

95. do you cry and throw a fit until you get your way?

yes lmao i’m a child

96. do you have kids?

no

97. Do you want kids?

yes :-)

98. what is your favourite colour?

yellow rn

99. do you miss anyone right now?

no!!

100. who are you going to tag to do this tag next?

no one bc i’m going to eat rn lol bye

[mangotastic]

~ get to know me tag ~

Damn do I just copy wtf I have never done this before I think I’m too old for new stuff someone save me pls  also I haven’t made an own post for like years, I only remember my rant about - nevermind I have been tagged by @hongseokseyes (twice actually, i forgot the first time im so sorry how do i find it again OMG ((btw thx for calling me cute hehe))) okay, here we go??

1. Are you named after someone? My parents didn’t even think of a name before I was born smh my mom was exhausted after birth and decided my name on her own she now regrets that btw

2. When is the last time you cried? uhhh I just watched Seventeen’s ‘Where is my friend’s Island?” and they are so fucking sweet to each other Im dying

3. Do you like your handwriting? pretty ugly and sometimes i cant even read what the hell i just wrote

4. What is your favourite lunch meat? just meat is already really nice

5. Do you have kids? nope

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? totally, im da bomb (jk no but i think im a decent friend)

7. Do you use sarcasm? heavily

8. Do you still have your tonsils? yep

9. Would you bungee jump? no thank you

10. What is your favourite kind of cereal? the crunchy stuff with little pieces of chocolate is awesome

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? depends what shoes i am wearing and if i can slip them off without untieing

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? ummm if we are talking about my body - its just pudding (quote from my pe teacher back in 3rd grade)

13. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? cookies is pretty darn good

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? i never really thought about this? overall appearance and the way they hold themselves

15. Red or pink? red

16. What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? legs i guess

17. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? grey pyjama pants because its already 11 pm and sexy blue house shoes

18. What was the last thing you ate? a tangerine! very delicious 

19. What are you listening to right now? seventeen’s  don’t listen...i might change the song its so sad

20. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? i dunno....blue? 

21. Favorite smell? the smell of my mom cooking food omg i miss it sobs

22. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my mom 

23. Favourite sport to watch? volleyball actually

24. Hair color? black like my soul

25. Eye colour? sweet and delicious melted chocolate brown

26. Do you wear contacts?

nah

27. Favourite food to eat?

my moms? ;_; (yeah except when she bakes sth)

28. Scary movies or comedy? comedy, i hate scary stuff. I cant even watch ‘Scary Movie’ smh 

29. Last movie you watched? i dont even remember the last time i watched a movie ummmm oh yeah sure shades of grey part 2 the popcorn was good

30. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey with pink hearts

31. Summer or winter? i hate both but because its winter right now and its fucking ice cold and i dont have a fucking functioning heater and also no warm water basically i hate everything right now

32. Hugs or kisses? hugs? i dunno, not a fan of both  

33. What book are you currently reading? i wasted my last three and a half years on reading 2 korean men getting it on in fan written fiction so yes i halted reading books (but the nearest useful answer would be Verbrechen by Ferdinand von Schirach, its about some crazy criminal law cases very interesting)

34. Who do you miss right now? my family and my friends i guess, sometimes i feel so alone in my uni city ):  oh and also a heater and warm water goddamn it

35. What is on your mouse pad? dont have one

36. What is the last tv program you watched? does where is my friends island count?

37. What is the best sound? super junior’s kyuhyun’s singing voice is like warm honey but i also like to hear people laughing because i was able to make them laugh

38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? since i got a beatles museum here i go for them

39. What is the farthest you’ve ever traveled? from germany to vietnam yeyyy

40. Do you have a special talent? nah

41. Where were you born? germanyy

42. Who am I tagging?

do i tag one? two? everyone i know??? i dun even know man yelling at  @jusenkyou @look-at-ginny @mingyuhyun to save my dignity (pleaSE GUYS)

[neufocklagh]

1-30

IM SO SORRY IM SO LATE WITH THIS! DONT BE MAD AT ME PLEASE :(((((

1. Where do you stand on lotion: yay or nay? Why? -YAY DEFINITELY. I loveeeee feeling soft and smelling delicious.

2. What’s the average length of a shower for you? A bath? - I hardly ever take baths honestly. I don’t think I’ve taken a bath in years. I always shower. Showers depending on what I’m doing, if I’m shaving as well it’s like 35 mins. Regular shower without shaving is like 20 mins.

3. What’s something you regret buying, but you just can’t get rid of it? - this remote that looks like a NES Controller that’s Bluetooth and was supposed to connect to my phone but never did, but I just have this feeling that it’ll come to use eventually so I shouldn’t get rid of it.

4. What villain do you believe is most worthy of a redemption arc? -Mr. Freeze, he just misses his wife.

5. What was your favorite school project you ever made? -it wasn’t a project but it was a story that I wrote about my first kiss and how terrible it was.

6. What role do you take on when you have to do a group project? (for example: leader, delegator, slacker, etc.). -I usually do everything myself and I’m usually the one that tries to link everyone up, but I even slack tho. It’s weird.

7. What’s a funny mistake you’ve made recently? -I ran into a pole

8. What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? -I would honestly be so sad, I already have so many birthdays to remember

9. What were you almost named as a baby? -Jasmine Jade

10. What book have you been avoiding reading and why? -your second life begins when you realize you only have one. I’m holding on to too many things rn and I’m having a hard time of letting go and I feel the book will make me have a revelation and I’ll let go.

11. Favorite head phone brand? -I don’t honestly know :(

12. Favorite scent? -pure seduction, mint, vanilla,

13. Favorite idiom? -I’m as scared as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

14. How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you? -I think just 4. One is in Korea, Afghanistan, Mexico, and Italy.

15. What is always in your wallet that doesn’t need to be? -a metal heart

16. How big is too big for a wallet? -if it can’t fit in my pocket or purse it’s tooooo dang big, and honestly I’m not a huge fan of long wallets.

17. What class did you write the best notes in? What grade did you get? -history! I got a 98

18. What was your pet peeve when you had a substitute teacher in school? -they were just rude to be rude. I just don’t like people like that in general.

19.  What is a strange red flag you have when pursuing a relationship? -if they’re trying super super hard just for me to like them where their actions just don’t seem genuine and they’re just trying to show off.

20. What do you look for in someone’s online dating profile? -funny things!!

21. How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about? -way too many to count, that’s why I don’t have a lot of friends

22. What do you NOT want on your tombstone? -“clinical dumbass”

23. How many couches do you want in your residence? - maybe just two

24. What is the strangest website you have bookmarked? -how to sleep with one eye open

25. What is your typical number of windows/tabs open on your computer? -2 or 3, I hardly use my laptop anymore

26. How often do you restart your computer? Your phone? - once a month :(

27. Do you follow the expiration date on food? - it honestly depends on the food, but I usually just check for signs of expiration instead. My microbiology teacher went on a hugeeee rant about expiration dates and how the vast majority of them don’t matter and they were just created so we would have to continuously just buy more stuff.

28. What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child? -Maximilian

29. What fish scares you the most? -alligator gar fish

30. How do you feel about snails? - I think they’re cool to look at and I don’t really have a problem with them, I just feel that I would honestly freak out if one was on me

[washedouteyes]

ok here we go! all 99 questions from the “unique question” asklist for anon. i love you, whoever you are

i really hope this read more works

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? 

closed. have to keep the gays in            

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?    

depends how nice they are          

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? 

out. i kick            

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?      

i wish        

5:Do you like to use post-it notes?         

i guess?    

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?      

no        

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?  

gimme the bear            

8:Do you have freckles?     

ideally        

9:Do you always smile for pictures?            

no, but im socially obligated to  

10:What is your biggest pet peeve?          

when people are condescending!    

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk? 

during anxious days            

12:Have you ever peed in the woods?         

yes    

13:What about pooped in the woods?           

probably  

14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?        

yes. my default dance move is “dumbass”    

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?    

definitely. someone had to physically take my earbud out of my mouth last week          

16:How many people have you slept with this week?    

my small stuffed elephant doesn’t count          

17:What size is your bed?    

full?          

18:What is your Song of the week?

cut a hole by radiohead              

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?      

why is this a question? yes?        

20:Do you still watch cartoons?    

on occasion           

21:Whats your least favorite movie?    

never really hated a movie because i have a fairly good instinct for knowing what im going to like, but i guarantee if it has guns, the american flag, and plot device women im probably not going to like it          

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?   

throw that shit in the ocean          

23:If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size?       

no      

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?   

ketchup?          

25:What is your favorite food?       

i love instant noodles and i am sorry      

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?    

donnie darko       

27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?

love you mom              

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?      

yes        

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?   

my body is gross           

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?  

hnggh... a year ago maybe? i gotta change that            

31:Can you change the oil on a car?      

i cant drive        

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?     

i cant drive        

33:Ever ran out of gas?       

i cant drive      

34:Favorite kind of sandwich?          

the edible kind? no mayo    

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?          

cereal    

36:What is your usual bedtime?    

it probably averages around 1 or 2 am          

37:Are you lazy?     

very        

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?      

a vampire (consisting of plastic fangs, jeans, white shirt turned backwards to hide the snowflake on the front, and a cape that was way too small)        

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?     

no        

40:Are you horny?               

no

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?     

i am poor        

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?           

legos? i guess?  

43:Are you stubborn?        

very      

44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?           

what  

45:Ever watch soap operas?  

nah            

46:Are you afraid of heights?      

nah        

47:Do you sing in the car?    

all the time          

48:Do you sing in the shower? 

all the time but doubled and echoing loudly off tile            

49:Do you dance in the car?     

occasionally         

50:Ever used a gun?  

yeah            

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?        

no      

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?     

la la land is a beautiful movie        

53: Is Christmas stressful?  

i am broke and i have seven friends, so yes            

54:Ever eat a pierogi?     

a what        

55:Favorite type of fruit pie?    

pie is nasty and thats the tea          

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?        

a chemist? and i think a zookeeper at some point      

57:Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah              

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?     

more than ever        

59:Take a vitamin daily?     

im supposed to        

60:Wear slippers?          

catch my feet being cold as fuck     

61:Wear a bath robe?         

no, what a luxury    

62:What do you wear to bed?  

underwear n oversized tee            

63:First concert?       

twenty one pilots

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  

target is the superior capitalist             

65:Nike or Adidas? 

i havent exercised since 1879            

66:Cheetos Or Fritos?     

fritos are made out of desert sand and corn        

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?   

sunflower seeds. cronch          

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

no              

69:Ever take dance lessons?  

yes            

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?     

soul reaping! ha ha ha        

71:Can you curl your tongue?     

no, but i can flip it upside down        

72:Ever won a spelling bee?    

second place. my school then proceeded to spell both my first and last name wrong          

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?     

trees was a 50/50 of sad and happy        

74:Own any record albums?  

nah            

75:Own a record player?       

i wish!      

76:Regularly burn incense?      

on occasion        

77:Ever been in love?        

i think?      

78:Who would you like to see in concert?

glass animals again would be sick, the neighbourhood and possibly idkhbtfm? which might happen actually              

79:What was the last concert you saw?    

glass animals! they’re fucking fantastic live          

80:Hot tea or cold tea?      

ice ice baby        

81:Tea or coffee? 

both are good!            

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?   

sugar          

83:Can you swim well?    

not at all          

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?   

yes!          

85:Are you patient?  

hmnggh... not really            

86:DJ or band, at a wedding?   

i was a flowergirl once but i fucked up the wedding so          

87:Ever won a contest?     

poetry        

88:Ever have plastic surgery?

no              

89:Which are better black or green olives?     

olives are for the weak        

90:Can you knit or crochet?  

does making rainbow loom bracelets count            

91:Best room for a fireplace?    

living room          

92:Do you want to get married? 

ill get back to you on that if im still alive in about 5 years            

93:If married, how long have you been married?  

no            

94:Who was your HS crush?        

no      

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? 

i think... sometimes            

96:Do you have kids?      

no        

97:Do you want kids?        

no      

98:Whats your favorite color?      

i would say black but then everyone tells me its not a color so        

99:Do you miss anyone right now?   

a lot of people