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#sorry for the rant but im getting sick of it
brosif40 · 9 months
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Me when i once again (the 200th time these past few months) have hip pain
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krypticcafe · 1 year
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Me: Oh hey another cool-looking König x Reader fic, this looks fun and unique-
König: 'maus'
Me: god FUCKING dammit not again
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daftpatience · 7 months
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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hellfyre · 7 months
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everytime i look in the lilith tag I see so much hate and antagonism for her, like my god. we barely know much about her but some people are just desperate to hate on her while woobifying male characters and I can think of one word why.
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autisticlee · 10 days
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"good people are out there you just need to get out and find them"
cool thanks. but i'm too tired to keep ~going out and looking for them~ i'm too tired to keep trying, using up all my energy, getting super overwhelmed and burnt out after just a couple weeks of trying as hard as I can, met with other people barely trying back or not being very responsive, and needing to recover from it for a year or more each time because it overwhelms and burns me out so bad. I get nowhere no matter how hard I try, all i get is uselesss advice from people i try to befriend who dont want the responsibility of friending me. i'm tired of trying beyond my limits and causing more issues for myself. or dealing with issues I get from meeting the "wrong" people. if the "right" people exist, why can't they find me? why does it have to be only my job? i'm too tired and overwhelmed and burnt out to do it!!!!! the right people will just easily help and be there for me right? so I guess i just have to keep waiting for them for all eternity????? i'm tired of waiting. give me more than "just wait/keep trying/don't give up" because those instructions unclear and my useless attempts are very discouraging and exhausting and i'm so overwhelmed that i'm losing the ability to even socialize at a minimum at all now!!!!
if humans are meant to be social creatures and we require positive interactions with each other to stay healthy, then why do humans ostracize their own? why do some of us struggle so much and are denied any help and instead blamed? why can't I be given advice on how to live a lonely life without anyone else by my side instead of being told "one day! keep trying! you need people because it's essential to being human!" even though i've been waiting for "one day" for 25 years and could wait 25 more, or even longer? I don't know what i'm doing wrong or how to improve it so waiting is all I have. what if I wait forever?
#ive been trying to find “the right people” for like 25 years. im so tired of hearing “one day/eventually”#i need people now. i admit i need help!!! i cant do life alone!!! but ONE DAY is not NOW. im struggling now. not later#why is it always “keep trying because ONE DAY” and never “heres how to deal with it now and if one day never comes”#because NOT EVERYONE GET THEIR “ONE DAY” AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING GIVEN EMPTY PROMISES#AND IT FEELS AWFUL BEING IGNORED AND DENIED HELP *NOW* BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO REPLY ON A HYPOTHETICAL “ONE DAY”#IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!!!!#lee rants#what if the “one day” where people actually care isnt until theyre at my funeral huh? because ive seen it happen.#autistic#autism#actually autistic#social problems#social issues#social isolation#adult autism#adult friendships#autism support#autistic friendship#this has been bothering me. i think its called toxic positivity. people throw it at me and it makes me feel worse. stop 😭#and “it happened to me so that means it will happen for you!” no it doesnt!!!!! you had better luck/circumstances. i dont have what you did#it doesnt inspire me or give me hope. it makes me feel more hopeless others can do stuff and i cant.#people were willing to help you but not me? youre not willing to now help me? what else do i do?#especially when people tell me they struggled for a few years. im glad you haven't struggled your whole life like me#and i know youre trying to be nice. but it doesnt help im sorry 😭😭😭😭😭
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bookinit02 · 20 days
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thinking about this post i saw the other week where this person was saying how badly they wanted to be able to buy a nice mug without thinking twice about it. and all the comments were saying how they could just buy a cheaper mug. and they were like jesus fucking christ ITS NOT ABOUT THE MUG. because yeah
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poppyseed799 · 10 months
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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lecliss · 6 months
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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scrunkalicious · 3 months
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FUUUUUUUCK JAYVIK UGGGGHH im begging they don’t try to push it next season, im gonna keep my expectations low but we have a chance to survive cuz its the last season
sending love and joy and whimsy ur way………
REAL. TYSM LUCY U A REAL ONE....
im hoping praying so so bad that they rlly go thru w the jayce and vik LoL lore in s2 BC THEYRE ENEMIEZ OK. LIKE DEADASS MACHINE HERALD AND DEFENDER OF TOMORROW CANT STAND EACH OTHER. riot thatd be soooo lovely pleabse,,,,
#ACTUALLY YK WHAT FUCK IT THIS GON BE THE POST I RANT IN TAGZ ON SORRY GIRL#ok so like jayce and viktor have a SIBLING type relationship and i love that for them!!#jayce literally tellz mel in ep 5 “Hez like my brother” BROTHER. PLATONIC TYPE SHI#and like he doesn't even acknowledge that vik is sick until he deadahh passez out and goez to the hospital w the newz that HEZ DYING.#LIKE RLLY HAMMERBOY. THATZ WHAT IT TOOK. YOU DIDNT NOTICE VIK COUGHING UP BLOOD EARLER. IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU DUDE.#also jayce already has mel. sorry but like mel wont let it happen#shez a manipulator kinda who usez jayce to profit herself and piltover#i have a whole thing abt her doing that for another time silliez...#but like she wouldn't let that happen so she can keep control over jayce#ALSO THE SCENE IN EP 7 WHERE JAYCE SAYZ THAT PPL FROM THE UNDERCITY ARE DANGEROUS#LIKE BRO RIGHT TO VIKTOR??? DID U FORGET THAT HE LITERALLY TOLD U HE WAS FROM THERE WHEN YALL FIRST MET#the way jayce was so mad at viktor for breaking the bridge thing that he set in place#like all he cared abt was his stupid fuckahh policy. NOT THE FACT THAT AN ENFORCER AT THE BRIDGE COULDA MISTAKEN VIKTOR FOR SOMEONE-#-TRESSPASSING AND SHOT HIM??? GET A BRAAAIINN JAYCE#they have such diff. moralz it just wouldnt work. also they hate each other in LoL soooo.#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MEL.JAY.VIK OOKK#i dont think mel carez abt viktor#when jayce sayz that vik is dying to mel#she falterez yes. but composez herself 3 secondz later.#if u look at her expressionz in that scene. itz giving “oh im sorry but not that sorry bc it doesnt affect me”#she carez a bit bc shez not heartless. but also bc knowig this would make jayce falter slightly.#her calculated expression and carefully chosen wordz to jayce right after that arent to console him. more to keep him from breaking away#IM SORRY IM A HATER#go back to that one crackship i saw. mel and heimerdinger. who made that ily#SORRY LUCY ERRRMM#UUUHHH ILYY GIRL TYSM FOR EVERYTHING /p#<3#scrunkalicious#scrunkalicious?? more like yappalicious#marly answerz???
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mentioned this in my last post under the cut but you have no idea how much it irked me as a physicist to read about how gege consulted a FUCKING ENGINEER about limitless. an engineer. an ENGINGEERRRRRR. i just. not even a mathematician? engineers don't work with theoretical physics. engineers hardly even work with nonreal math! you're out here designing a guy whose powers involve imaginary mass and divergent series and you DON'T even go to like the two fields that actually work with those things on a semi regular basis...an engineer.......what's he telling you....how to build a bridge?????????????
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writingkitten · 9 months
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I don’t care about New Year’s resolutions I don’t care about “it’s the start of the year, lose weight!!!” I don’t care about relationship advice for 2024 I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 6 months
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i think the problem with being a dazai fan is people either love him like a pta mom or think hes The Devil from The Bible. im not saying this in a "everyone needs to see him the same way i do" way but i do think to have like. a proper appreciation for him you do have to hate him a bit. and not in the like "stinky cat" or "pushing him down the stairs" way but in the like "i genuinely wonder whats wrong with you" way. people tend to be in these really extreme camps where they either excuse his actions because he was also a victim or decide he just pretends to be good and he's never put the work in. and it makes it really hard to have a nuanced conversation about dazais time in the mafia or his actions currently, because people are either IN one of the mentioned camps, or they think YOU are. so it gets hard when it comes time to point out even something like him being both a Shitty teenager and a shitty Teenager. does that make sense
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to everyone whos ever been a fan of a ship/pairing that had a shitty ass fanbase and now the whole pairings reputation is ruined you should get an award
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ashfdhfgdsfk · 1 year
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might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by
#depresso rant incoming skipp all this if you dont wanna hear it#txt#el/ena might have to become a deadname for lack of a better word sjdhfg#putting the slash because im beyond paranoid now#nothing on this earth is sacred i feel like ive lost the only safe space i had left#would you guys call me some silly name if i asked :-( fuck#shit im so hurt this is the worst#trying to be positive so im not just a huge drag but im so isolated in my real life and as stupid as it sounds#tumblr was becoming a little home id carved out for myself#and i feel like im never going to feel safe here again#but in order to tell you guys about a new blog url ill have to post about it which means they might see it too and uagshfg#and god it doesnt even matter bc my arts out there anyway and a few random 10k+ note posts so theres a chance theyll find me no matter what#and shit i loved so many of my old urls but i cant ever reuse them and i feel like im seriously losing my fucking mind trying to hide#like tumblr and having you guys was the only thing keeping me going through all this shit and it feels like ive lost all of that comfort#this is gonna be the worst fucking birthday ever dude just for that extra cherry on top like i seriously have nothing going for me rn SJDHG#denver and a few lovely mutuals to keep me kicking but oughgf#i feel sick#feel like i need to shower and scrub my soul raw to get this vile ass feeling out#god im sorry to be negative i rlly am i try to keep things cheery round here but im styeadily reaching my limit#and i want to reblog stuff to comfort myself but i dont want to reblog anything in case theyre watching and fuck im so dfjsfgjksfjkgsfkdgh#i could really go for a hug right about now s'all
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electric-plants · 3 months
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personally fist fighting whoever decided to make another blue skin instead of giving nilou something fun like pink when it would have been more unique and also SO pretty
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thatuselesshuman · 1 month
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Me when someone says some dumb shit about my medical issues
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