#sorry if this is harsh but i don't have the energy to be happy answering this

[uncanny-tranny]

Is this community safe for non-passing or non-transitioning (socially/medically) trans people, even if they had the means to transition?

Why would it be? If someone can easily/safely transition and choose not to, I would question if they were trans. I’ve lived through people invading my trans student union bc they wanted to be special, I’m not going to do it again

Because being trans is an identity, not an action. You can transition, yes, but that doesn't mean you are "more trans." If somebody can safely transition but they choose not to, that is their decision, and it isn't your right nor responsibility to tell them what you think about it, frankly.

As somebody who is transitioning, I can understand if you don't understand why somebody isn't transitioning. However, you don't have to "get it" to respect them. I'm sorry, but I don't feel much sympathy for people who say, "if you don't transition, you just want to feel special, and you aren't trans"

Again: being trans is an identity. The same way as being cis - cis people do not have to "prove" they are cis, why do trans people? Why must we constantly have to appease everybody around us? I transitioned for me, I take testosterone for me, I changed my name for me, I dress masc for me - none of that involves anybody else, and I reckon it is similar to people who are not transitioning medically or socially.

[dilvuc]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

Sebastian was still upset though and hadn’t spoken to the taller male in a minute. [Y] break the silence, “...I see that you find your new master. How is he?”

“...Like hell, but I'll manage…” Sebastian answered in a harsh tone and then it went silent once again. Damn, the demon is pissed off. Why?

“...Are you mad at me?” [Y] sweatdropped.

“We should stop talking and prepare some feast, Sire [L].” The butler ignored the question as he removed his coat and wore an apron, then rolled up his sleeves. “If you wish to talk then leave…”

“You are mad at me…” [Y] whined before removing his tailcoat and hanging them up. Sebastian pressed the peeler to the male's chest, “Peel them then wash the potatoes.”

“O…ok…” the taller male shuttered awkwardly. Just as Sebastian's order, [Y] begins peeling potatoes. It was an awkward silence once again. “Shit…He's really pissed off with me. Why? Is he in a bad mood?”

“...That child…” Sebastian spoke, grabbing the taller earl’s attention. “Is he yours…?”

Outside of the kitchen, Mey-rin was rushing with a bucket in hands. She was demanded to clean up, but she stopped and nearly tripped when she overheard Sebastian and [Y] talking in the kitchen.

“You mean Nova? Yes, he's my son.” [Y] answer Sebastian's question. The butler pouted as he aggressively chopped the carrots, nearly cutting the board in half, “I see…”

“Ah…Is that what he was mad about?”

“Did you break your promise and have an affair with someone else?” Sebastian questioned, swiftly chopping the carrots. “It's cruel to cheat on your lover like that.”

“L-lover?” Mey-rin gasped. The chef, the gardener, and Tanaka peek into the kitchen, startling Mey-rin. Baldo raised his eyebrows, “What are you doing? Spying?”

“Shh! Shh! I've heard that Sire [L] and Sebastian are lovers!” Mey-rin whispered harshly.

“What?? No way! I couldn't imagine Sebastian having a lover!” Baldo furrowed his eyebrows. Finny tilted his head, “Sebastian never talked about it before.”

“Not like he will talk about his personal life.” The chef huffed.

“Just listen!”

“Sebastian…Here I thought you could read the atmosphere.” [Y] deadpanned. Sebastian flinched, “W…what are you on about?”

“He shutters???” Baldo blinked owlishly.

“You mistakenly thought I was cheating on you with someone else. Nova…is my adopted son. I'm not in an affair with anyone.” [Y] stated, causing the butler to harshly chop the head of the carrot. The taller male flinched as the angry energy got stronger, but it quickly went away.

“I see. You certainly got me there! I was close to ending you with this knife~” Sebastian laughed joyfully. [Y] sweatdropped, “Don't laugh so joyfully!”

“Sorry~ I was starting to become jealous or perhaps angry that I want to rip your heart out.” The butler beamed, while waving the knife. “I'm just genuinely happy that you're not cheating on me with someone else~”

“Why would I cheat on you when my eyes are only on you?” [Y] winked. Sebastian chuckled with a soft blush, “Your charm haven't gone away~”

The [h] haired male then wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist, then snuggled his face against his, “I was feeling lonely when you left, so when I found Nova, I decided to adopt him just so I wouldn't feel lonely.”

“So…that makes him my child as well?” Sebastian asked.

“We are married, aren't we?” [Y] grinned.

“Married?!” the three servants gawked, grabbing both the lovers’ attention to the door. Sebastian sighed with disappointment, “Of course they'll be spying on us.”

The four servants bowed before the butler with bumps on their heads. Sebastian huffed with his arms crossed, “Eavesdropping on conversation will lead to consequences. May I ask why you are eavesdropping?”

“I overheard you two talking, so…I got curious…” Mey-rin sweatdropped.

“Are you really married to Sebastian?! I can't imagine!” Baldo asked the taller male. [Y] chuckled, “True. Proposed to him two years ago…”

“Seeing Sebastian this happy is weird. I've never seen him like this.” The cook deadpanned. Sebastian glared, “Oh? Is it wrong for a butler to get married to an earl?”

“I just thought you're not the best type—” the cook received a shoe in the face before he could finish the sentence. The butler in black sighed, “Now that you all find out, you must keep this from master. We didn't want our relationship to be released in public.”

“You must be madly in love with Sire [L], Sebastian!” Mey-rin beamed. Sebastian blushed softly with his hand clasped on his cheek, “...I-indeed…”

“He shutters again. He's a simp.” Baldo whispers to Finny, earning another kick in the face.

“I think it's cute! I think you two make a great couple!” Finny beamed, clapping his hands. Mey-rin nodded with agreement. The cook recovered from a kick, “I don't think I will get used to this…”

“You might as well need to.” Sebastian huffed before turning to his husband, “We should continue preparing the feast. Master might be waiting.”

“Ah, right…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“Your name is Nova, correct? You and your father don't seem to look alike…” Ciel narrowed his eyes at the child, who's reading a book. Nova whined, startled by Ciel's stare, “...A…adopted…”

“Adopted? So, you were adopted…?” Ciel questioned.

“Papa found me alone on the street after mummy left Nova to die because Daddy left her for another woman…” Nova explained. The earl was shocked at the answer. The four year old continued, “Papa raised me and fed me good food. Mummy never gave me good food before. She left me nothing but dog food…”

“I see…What made you enjoy books?” Ciel asked. “What sort of books do you like?”

“Fantasy.”

The earl hummed with interest, “Fantasy, huh? You must've enjoyed reading something like that. Are you homeschooled?”

“The servants back home educated me while papa was working. They teach me how to read and write. They even help me write a letter to Papa whenever he's working.” Nova smiles softly.

“Ah. They taught you really well…” Ciel praised the child. How about you pick out some books? You can take it home with you, but promise you'll bring it back.”

“O-ok, Ciel-nii.” Nova nodded.

“...!” Ciel flinched before looking away with a soft blush, “Don't call me that…”

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“Everything doing alright at the manor without me?” Sebastian asked the taller male while stirring up the cream. [Y] smiled as he chopped the potatoes, “Yeah, but it still feels kinda lonely…”

“You miss me that much?” The butler chuckled.

“Very much. What about you? Did you miss me?” [Y] teased. “I'm sure you do~ I can imagine you being excited about my arrival.”

“...” Sebastian blushed, looking away from his husband, “...Perhaps I do…”

The taller male wrapped his arms around Sebastian and snuggled his face with the raven haired butler, “You're so cute~ I love that about you.”

“E-enough…” Sebastian whined, feeling his husband’s soft face against his. The servants had never seen Sebastian act so cute before. When [Y] around, the cute side of Sebastian has been exposed. The cook twitches his eyebrow at the scene, “Look at him acting all cutesy…”

“It's adorable, yes, it is!” Mey-rin beamed, clasping his hands together.

“By the way, are you free tomorrow? I would like to request if you could watch over Nova while I'm working?” [Y] clasped his hands together. “I'll be away for three days during a business trip.”

“Three days? Didn't you just got back last week?” Sebastian tilted his head. The taller male scratched the back of his head, “Well…there had been trouble at the factory in another country and they needed me to handle a few things.”

“I see. How disappointing. I was looking forward to spending more time with you.” Sebastian sighed with disappointment. [Y] smile, then whisper in the butler’s ear, “Say, how about coming over at my manor tonight when your master and Nova fall asleep? Meet me in my room tonight?”

“...Ah…You don't mean…” Sebastian's eyes widened with realization.

[Y] smirked as he gently wraps his arm around the butler's waist and intertwined his fingers with his own, “Right~ I'll be taking control tonight~”

“...!” Sebastian's face turned entirely red. This human of his will always be the one and only person to make a demon flustered. “Y…your charm is one my biggest weakness.”

“Oh-ho~ Is it?” [Y] purred.

“T-the servants are watching. Please stop…” the butler looks away, but the taller male doesn't care and pulls the butler closer. “Who cares~ Let them watch, just to let them know that you're mine~”

Sebastian used his free hand to push his husband's face away, “[Y]...! E-enough!”

Too late, the [h] haired male is already getting freaky as the servants watch, covering Finny’s eyes.

SEBASTIAN, MY BELOVED! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!🙇🏿

╰┈➤ 𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

➤previous

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Why can I only kiss your ghost? - Neil Perry / Todd Anderson

Description: Unfortunately for Todd, a ghost will never be as warm as he needs it to. [hurt/no comfort, 700 words]

Wrote this for comfort, ironically. It's a kind of vent if I think too much about it.

---

His eyes have been closed for hours, Todd is starting to accept he's not getting any sleep, again.

The room is silent and dark, as it is every night. There is no one sleeping in the bed next to him. No heavy breathing and light snoring, but an empty bed whose sheets and pillows were already taken away a while again.

In a way, that's a good thing. Anderson would've left that place forever if they had assigned him a new roommate. A substitute for someone who could never keep him company again. Nolan didn't have the audacity to do that, yet.

He sighs in annoyance and sits up, with his face on his hands, feeling under his fingers the greasy hair he didn't have energy to wash and that was already way too long for him.

"You need to sleep"

The familiar voice didn't alarm him.

"Shut up," he looked up to see Neil standing at the door, with his hand in his pockets. "You don't know how this is like."

There was silence again. Neil looked at him with empty eyes. Todd felt too angry to cry.

"How dare you even come back now?" His tone was harsh, yet not loud. "How dare you haunt me when I'm already hurting this much? What do you want from me?"

Neil had no answer for him. Todd clenched his fist, and got up.

"Are you hearing me, Neil? Are you even there?" There was no reaction from the friend in front of him. He didn't feel like a friend to Todd anymore, but had he ever? "Take a good look at me, Neil Perry. Look what you've done to me!"

Silence. Again, the goddamn silence.

"Oh, I wish I had never met you. The happiness you brought me was not as half as big as the pain I feel," the words came out as a firm whisper, hurting Todd's throat as they left his mouth.

Neil's eyes only stayed on him for a few instants, and he turned his head to the empty bed. "Then I suppose I should go."

Todd grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before he could even try, and pushed him hard against the wall.

Neil whimpered in pain. His eyes watered, struggling as he tried to get away, and the guilty hit Todd like a punch in the gut, but he didn't let go.

"So that's it? You're leaving me again at the first chance you get?" He hit Neil against the wall again, his nails now dug into his neck. It wouldn't bleed, not ever again.

"I thought I was hurting you being here," the ghost choked out. The moonlight entered the room through the window, and looking deep into his eyes, Todd could swear he had never looked so dead.

"You are all I have left," the anger in his voice grew into desperation. "Don't abandon me again! I'm not that strong, Neil"

Before Neil could speak, Todd pushed his lips against his in an unreciprocated kiss. His eyes were completely full of tears by the time he pulled away.

The bullet hole could be seen in the side of Neil's head, an unnecessary reminder he is only a corpse.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I shouldn't have said that. Neil, I need you like I need air to breathe," Todd begged, his head falling to his friend's chest. "I don't care if you're real or not, just stay. If you ever loved me like I love you, stay. Please."

He sobbed his heart out, gripping onto a dead body as if his life depended on it. There was no warmth, no comfort. Todd had never craved a hug this much, yet he knew he would never get one ever again, not from who he needed.

By the time he opened his eyes, he was griping onto himself. The ghost was gone. His head ached like hell, and he could barely breathe. Todd screamed until he passed out in Neil's bed, not too long after.

That night, he had no dreams.

He was already dreaming while awake anyway.

---

I'm not really proud of my writing here, but I feel better now that I wrote it, so it's worth it. Anyway, take care y'all.

[capricores]

Hey I really liked your answer regarding the difference between sun opposite moon and square moon. Could you share more about why you consider conjunct the worst in terms of difficult aspects? Love your blog btw!

Hi angel!! Thank you SO much, that means so much to me!! I'm so happy you enjoy my content and I hope I can start putting out more content again <3

For anyone who didn't see the ask on squares vs oppositions but may be interested, it's here!

So I consider inconjunct/quincunx the toughest to deal with out of all the harsher aspects, not conjunct aspects, just for clarification! I don't consider conjunct aspects to be easy nor difficult, I find they're more neutral depending on what else is going on with the planets involved!

A lot of people would probably disagree, as many astrologers still dismiss the quincunx as a minor aspect and say it's impact is less than that of a square or opposition - but I very firmly disagree lol. In my years of studying other's charts and how they manifest, as well as my own chart (which has squares, oppositions and quincunxes) - I think the quincunx is the most difficult (although I think Square aspects are a very, very close second). For reference, the following signs are inconjunct/quincunx:

Aries: Virgo, Scorpio

Taurus: Libra, Sagittarius

Gemini: Scorpio, Capricorn

Cancer: Sagitarrius, Aquarius

Leo: Capricorn, Pisces

Virgo: Aquarius, Aries

Libra: Pisces, Taurus

Scorpio: Aries, Gemini

Sagittarius: Taurus, Cancer

Capricorn: Gemini, Leo

Aquarius: Cancer, Virgo

Pisces: Leo, Libra

The following signs are Square:

Aries: Cancer, Capricorn

Taurus: Leo, Aquarius

Gemini: Virgo, Pisces

Cancer: Libra, Aries

Leo: Scorpio, Taurus

Virgo: Sagittarius, Gemini

Libra: Capricorn, Cancer

Scorpio: Aquarius, Leo

Sagittarius: Pisces, Virgo

Capricorn: Aries, Libra

Aquarius: Taurus, Scorpio

Pisces: Gemini, Sagittarius

The following signs are Opposite:

Aries & Libra

Taurus & Scorpio

Gemini & Sagittarius

Cancer & Capricorn

Leo & Aquarius

Virgo & Pisces

The main reason I consider the inconjunct aspect to be the most harsh, more so than opposite/square aspects is that the inconjunct signs often have very little in common. No common element, no common modality. Square & opposite signs are from the same modality (fixed/cardinal/mutable) so they tend to have a lot of underlying similarities regardless of how different they are on the broader spectrum! As different as Sagittarius and Virgo are, they both carry a lot of the same inherent mutable traits (always learning/loving learning, flexible/frequently changing, etc). There's an easier potential for opposite and square signs to find a balance, because they just naturally have a lot more common ground.

Meanwhile, look at an inconjunct pair such as Scorpio and Gemini. There is very, very little in common with these two energies. They both are investigative, dramatic; but that's about as far as you'll get. You have mutable air and fixed water. Scorpio is intense, obsessive, overbearing. Gemini is flaky, non-committal, and distant [sorry for using the negative traits for both - it just highlights the differences best here lol]. Another example is Taurus and Sagittarius. Taurus craves and needs stability, routine; they are nostalgic and romantic. Sagittarius hates conformity and stagnation - they need frequent and often dramatic change, they dislike routine, and tend to not be sentimental whatsoever. Trying to list out similarities between inconjunct pairs will take you much longer, and result in a much shorter list, than if you were to list out similarities between square or opposite sign pairs.

If someone is a Sagittarius Sun with a Taurus Moon, their ego and personality (Sun) is at complete odds with their emotions and needs/comfort (Moon). Their Sun wants to travel the world, make new friends, speak their minds, act on impulse and last minute notice. Their Moon is cautious and a homebody; and would rather think things over for a long time before speaking and acting. To satisfy their Sun, they betray their Moon; and vice versa. It's not easy to balance these things, and some would say it's more about learning to compromise within yourself rather than finding a balance like you would with an opposition aspect.

Another example of inconjunct signs: When a Scorpio Venus falls in love, it takes a VERY long time to fall and even longer to accept and admit the feelings. Gemini Venus falls in love so fast, sometimes daily lol, and they usually don't have much issue in admitting it. They're very expressive and open in their affection, whereas Scorpio Venus is reserved and it can be hard for them to show it openly/in abundance. Gemini Venus can also get over relationships and friendships very fast, Scorpio Venus gets their heart broken hard and can take years and years to recover from a relationship that Gemini Venus would probably get over in a month or two. With finance, Scorpio Venus tends to hoard - they tend to build their savings accounts very high, work hard to earn and save their money, probably into investing/etc. Gemini Venus doesn't hoard - they're extremely generous with their money and have a "I'll just buy whatever I want, I can always earn the money back" mindset.

To list the similarities between a Gemini and Scorpio Venus.... would be very scarce. Comparing a Scorpio Venus instead to their opposite (Taurus Venus), we would see an abundance of similarities; the two actually work great together and have a lot in common. Looking at Scorpio Venus' square counterparts (Leo Venus/Aquarius Venus) we'd see a lot more differences than the opposition pairing, but still more similarities than the inconjunct pair - because at the end of the day, Leo/Aqua are also fixed signs and can relate to the intensive nature of Scorpio Venus to an extent. Mind you, they aren't great matches synastry-wise, and I wouldn't say these Squares are easy to deal with whatsoever! Just ""easier"" than an inconjunct, in my opinion.

I really enjoy cafeastrology's description regarding a Sun-Moon inconjunct/quincunx aspect, I recommend reading their entire article on the quincunx aspect here. Here's a piece of the article that I find immensely accurate, as someone with a Sun-Moon quincunx myself:

When the native expresses his or her will (Sun), he or she feels vaguely insecure, as the emotions don’t “back up” the will. When the native expresses his or her needs (Moon), the ego balks. Indecisiveness is the result, as well as a tendency to be quite unfocused, tense, on edge, and largely unsettled. The native needs to work on accepting both the Sun and the Moon in his or her personality in order to feel whole and to avoid sabotaging relationships and life goals with self-defeating attitudes.

So basically, TL;DR, I consider inconjunct/quincunx the most difficult of aspects due to a complete lack of common ground. It's hard to balance the energies when they aren't even on the same scale. In my own experience, working on healing and dealing with my inconjunct aspects has been worlds more difficult than working on healing and balancing my opposition and square aspects.

[hunter-sylvester]

Do you think Eddie Munson and Hunter would be friends? I’ve seen some people say yes, and some say no. I feel like Hunter would lowkey hate Eddie at first, then (very) slowly warm up to him.

I mean, yeah. I think they would, and I agree that it would take Hunter a while to warm up to Eddie. That’s basically how I wrote the progression of their friendship in Does it get better?

In DIGB it's a situation that's created by a few unfortunate social mishaps. (Eddie asking about something Hunter feels embarrassed about & making a slightly mean joke that just hits Hunter like a truck because of factors Eddie doesn't know about.)

Aside: There might be a fair bit of referencing to DIGB in this. I wrote a 27k word crossover fic of Metal Lords and Stranger Things, so a lot of my thoughts about their possible dynamic have ended up in that.

I do think that regardless of circumstance, Hunter just needs a bit of time to warm up to people in general. We kind of see that with Emily in the film. It's also something I've discussed when I was asked if I thought Hunter would get along with Ema & Spoon from Harlan Coben's Shelter.

I said he might see Ema as a threat in that previous answer. And I do think Hunter is someone that just easily feels threatened. He never feels safe. He's just like me fr And I could definitely see Hunter initially perceiving Eddie as a threat too. He's loud, he's cool, he's older.

We know Eddie's a nice guy but he's somewhat intimidating by design. For the same reason Hunter wants to be but I think there's more truth behind it with Eddie. Partially because of the time-period his canon takes place in, Eddie has just lived a much harsher life than Hunter. At the very least harsh in a different way.

And I do think that comes across in his general energy. I mean we see it in the show too, like he's a scaredy cat but when pushed into a corner he will defend himself. I think with more success than Hunter. Where Eddie flees or fights, Hunter freezes. Think of the way Hunter just 'lets' Skip drag him around at Clay's party. Not trying to victim blame, I think it's a panic response. But he has the survival instincts of a spoiled housecat. Eddie is more of an alley cat in this analogy.

I think Hunter would also just find Eddie a bit overwhelming initially. But because of how little introspection he has, he would somehow make that an "Eddie sucks" thing. And he'd lash out and/or hedgehog* in response.

*hedgehog moments or 'hedgehogging' is basically when someone feels threatened so they metaphorically curl up and stick their spines out in a reflexive attack to keep themselves safe. (I don't know if it's a term anybody but me and my friends use but it makes sense in my head)

As for Eddie's side of things I feel like he might initially think Hunter is just a bit of a brat (in the spoiled kid way not the other way this time). I mean one of the reasons Eddie thought Steve would be a douche was his parents being rich. It makes sense that might contribute to the same perception being applied to Hunter.

It's also arguably more true for Hunter. He IS a financially spoiled little fucker. The only way his dad knows how to try to make him happy is to buy him things. Broken his leg on stage? New guitar.

He doesn't know how to "comfort" him any other way. (and it's a piss-poor way of "comforting" your child btw) Aside: I also think Alan might have felt guilty for dropping Hunter in rehab just cause he didn't know what to do with him. So then having him get hurt right after would've only exacerbated that hence the $3.3k guitar as a "sorry, promise I probably love you, son"

But I do think that once the two come to more of an understanding and actually get to know each other properly they could be a chaos factory and a half. (I have a few WIP fics on the backburner that delve into that actually.) I mean Eddie does like Mike, who is a bit of a dick so he might also not have too much of a problem with Hunter being a dick. In any case, I think most of the "needing time" would be from Hunter's side.

Aside: I think especially a bit of maturing will help Hunter go a long way. Being seventeen ain't easy. I just think Hunter will start to become a lot more comfortable within himself in his twenties.

But in any case, I do think Hunter & Eddie would like each other after overcoming those hurdles. Which I also ultimately think they would overcome.

And I'm actually very attached to the idea that Hunter & Eddie would develop a sort of pseudo mentor/older brother dynamic. Which I think Hunter would actually really benefit from. As extensively established, his parents suck. (so do Eddie's tbf)

So I think having someone there to kind of fill a role adjacent to guidance would really help him. And having that be another metalhead is kind of important. Since Hunter's special interest is obviously metal and it's the framework he uses to make sense of the world. It really needs to be someone that speaks his language.

Aside: I'm always working within the concept that Eddie and Hunter are roughly as far apart in age as they are in their respective canon. As in: Eddie is 19/20 in canon, Hunter is 17 in canon. So if Hunter is aged up to 20, then Eddie is in his mid twenties. I'm not talking about this in a "Eddie was alive in the 80's and is now 50-something" kind of way.

Also a D&D game ran by Eddie with Hunter as a player would be fucking wild. If he can keep the friendly fire to a minimum I think they might enjoy playing D&D together a lot. Then again, Eddie's campaign was referred to as "sadistic" by Dustin, so maybe he wouldn't even mind the friendly fire lmao

I feel like this one is a little disjointed, I'm kind of all over the place mentally but I hope you still got something out of it, Blue Anon ^-^🤘

And as always, thank you for asking 🖤

[safetycar-restart]

I have absolutely shitty day so this soft night is a blessing for me.

Do you have any thoughts on how to cheer up subs? Do they have any rituals that always cheer them up, or do you have to do a specific thing? Maybe sometimes you have to get them little thing like plushie and cuddle them and after that they're good. (Could you include Oscar here?)

- 🪸

Firstly, I'm so sorry you had a shitty day! I know you sent this in yesterday but I didnt get time to answer it then so I hope it's okay that I'm only getting to it now! This is such a cute question and I'm gonna write a little bit about a few subs (including Oscar) :))

OSCAR:

Honestly I think quality time is the way to go for Oscar? He isnt very receptive to little gifts, he likes them of course, but they don't instantly make his mood better.

However, finding out that you've set aside an entire evening just for him? That will make him giddy for the ENTIRE day. If he texts you and says he's had an awful day and you tell him that he can choose a movie and watch it between your thighs? His day has been made.

Scenes are wonderful too of course. But what Oscar really needs to feel better is to be reminded that his dom loves and cares for him, so much so that they would put aside time for him.

CHARLES:

Charles actually tends to get upset quite a bit? It's NEVER because of you though. He could never be upset because of his dom, his dom is the light of his life. But you're his safe space, which means he shows you his true emotions and honestly he's just a very sensitive little boy?

But that's okay because making him feel better is genuinely the easiest thing ever. A little gift, like a plushie or a little chocolate always makes him feel better. But honestly just a hug and a forehead kiss will have him smiling too?

He gets upset a lot, but all he needs is some kisses and snuggles from his dom and he's happy again.

MICK:

Mick is usually a very happy sub, and it takes a lot to get him upset enough that it seeps into his time with you. Because normally the moment he's alone with you, it's like all his stress just melts away and he can be your happy good boy.

But when he does get upset enough that he can't be happy with you, then the trick is just to look after him?

It's happened enough times that you have a whole routine. First he gets a nice bubble bath, you undress him and get into the bath with him to wash him. Sometimes you'll give him a soft hand job in the bath, sometimes not. You'll often give him a massage then, nothing sexual just to relax him. Then he gets to cuddle on the couch with you, his head on your chest while you play with his hair. Just some nice quiet time where you take care of everything.

LANDO:

To be honest, Lando is a bit of a little shit. When he's upset, everyone knows about it and it becomes everyone's problem. Yet you're the only one who can reset him (to the point where sometimes his trainer will call you, begging you to please fly over and work your magic on Lando so that he can stop being a bitch to everyone).

And what he needs is one of two things. Sometimes it's just to unwind with you, to cuddle with you and watch funny videos and be able to decompress. Others times, when he's got too much energy and can't calm down, then you have to scene with him and be HARSH. That's usually the state he's in when mclaren call you, begging you to please just reset him.

You absolutely wreck him and then put him back together. And then he's back to being a happy Lando.

PIERRE:

If Pierre is upset, what he really needs is a safe space to decompress, that's it. You're his safe person, his dom is the one person he can trust with absolutely everything, the one person he knows for a fact will always keep his secrets.

So honestly you just have to let him kneel for you and bitch about everything that's been going on? He lets it all out, and he holds nothing back. You just sit there, letting him get it all off his chest. Then he'll be happy again.

[volucerrubidus]

Updated my Rules recently; there are a few new additions, so I'm going to copy/paste them here for ease of reading! If you don't feel like going through every single line to see what's new, the main section that's new is the "Disclaimers" section at the bottom. Otherwise, I've just altered wording, sorted things into categories, and tried to make everything clearer and easier to understand. Thanks everybody!

--

I am not harsh about enforcing these rules, but I will ask politely that you abide by them! They are in place to ensure that we have a good time together!

I usually hate DNIs, but I do want to make it clear: if I find out you are not pro-Palestine, I will hardblock you and move on. End of story. 

Basics:

Mun is 24. This is an 18+ blog.

Please note that if I can’t see what age bracket you’re in anywhere on your page, then I’m not taking a chance. You don’t have to disclose your age to me, but if I don’t see at least something that says you’re an adult, or over the age of 18 in some way, then I’m not going to follow back, and will softblock you. If you follow again, I will hard block you.  

RP etiquette applies. No godmodding, no metagaming, etc. Mun is not muse. Don’t assume your muse can automatically beat Tim in a fight. There’s more on combat below, but just be fair, and plot it with me beforehand.

Activity:

This blog is selective and mutuals-only. That said, I’m very likely to follow back/follow first. If you don’t follow me back in a week or two, I’ll unfollow again.

If I ever follow you a second time (or more times after that because I have memory issues and I’m not here often enough to remember urls well [I am so sorry]), I promise that I’m not trying to make you follow; it’s likely because I forgot about the first/previous time. Feel free to soft/hardblock me for your own comfort if it happens! I’ll do my best to avoid doing this. 

I am a low-activity blog; I work a full-time job, and struggle with energy and brain fog. Tim is also a finnicky muse.

Please do not pester me for replies. I will respond when I can.

Interactions:

Personals are free to follow, look, and like, but please do not reblog any of my posts.

Asks are a fantastic way to interact with me, and perhaps the best way. Often, I cannot access tumblr on the browser due to my work, so asks are something I can do on mobile at a higher frequency than threads.

If you want to continue from an ask answer, please make a separate post. If you don’t, then I will transfer to a new post on my turn.

I do not do M!A’s (magic!anons) unless I specifically reblog an M!A post– otherwise, I will not respond if you send one in.

Don’t forceship with me. Ships come from chemistry. That said, you are welcomed with open arms to tell me if you want to ship with Tim, and we can go from there! I do reserve the right to deny a ship, but if that’s the case, then I’ll work with you to plot a fun and interesting dynamic that makes us both happy!

I don’t do exclusives or mains; please don’t ask me to make you one or the other. If you do have exclusives or mains, then that’s awesome! No judgement either way; I just personally won’t have them on my blog.

Please reblog memes from the source. This is to keep my activity page easier for me to keep up with. 

Content:

I don’t rp smut.

I don’t use fancy text formatting for the sake of my own ability to proofread my writing. You are welcome to continue to use whatever text formatting you’d like, though!

I will make sure to tag any warnings that I find necessary (and upon request if I miss something!), and in turn, I ask that you please tag topics involving non-con situations. Thank you!

Communication:

If I do something you don’t like, PLEASE tell me! I want this to be fun for everyone involved, but if I don’t know that I did something you were uncomfortable with, then I can’t fix it, and thus, we are no longer mutually having fun. I know confrontation is daunting, and people have probably treated you very poorly when you tried to communicate a grievance in the past; it’s happened to me, and it’s happened to so many people I know. I will do my best to be kind, fair, open, and apologetic, and I will do what I can to help rectify the situation, no matter how big or small. Come open a dialogue; I’ll be happy to have one with you. 

I chat in the tags often.

If there’s something in a thread that you want to discuss, please come chat with me about it!

Please tell me if you want to ship! I want to know!

If you have a plot request, send it my way!

Combat between muses is going to come up often on this blog given the muse and source material. If a thread starts to go in that direction, I require that we plot out the fight before proceeding, so that we can work together to write a scene that both goes the way we need it to for plot reasons, AND goes the way we want it to for fun reasons. The only exception to this is people I’ve written with for long enough that I feel we will not accidentally step on each other’s toes during a fight.

Disclaimers:

I do not and will never ship Tim with Bruce, Dick, Jason, Cass, Duke, or Damian. If you write batcest, I don’t care, but I will not follow you. If you follow me, I’m likely to soft or hard block. The only exception to this is multimuse blogs who have muses I want Tim to interact with, or blogs that have a clear line of separation between batcest and batfamily interactions. I will be HIGHLY selective about this, though.

If you do not make it clear on your blog that you ship batcest, and then we become mutuals, and I see you suddenly start writing batcest, I will softblock you. It is not personal; I just don’t want to read that stuff on my own personal dash. I just ask for honesty. Please don’t trick me into following you; tumblr rp follower counts are not that important.

For full transparency: I do think the pro/anti debate is stupid. Those words are thrown around willy-nilly to vilify people or virtue signal, and I will not entertain that discourse on this blog. In my humble opinion, anyone can write whatever they want in fandom spaces, and I just would hope that tags are used appropriately, so that people can curate what they read or view. I personally could not care less what another writer ships; if there’s stuff I don’t wanna see, I’ll just not look for it, and I won’t follow people who write it. Simple as that.

You’ll see it in my bio too, but I want to address it here as well: I actively dislike fanon, and it will have no place in my writing of Tim. I don’t care if your muse draws from fanon—you do you—but don’t be shocked if my Tim acts surprised or confused by fanon assumptions of him (ex: if your muse brings Tim coffee to drink, he will be very confused as to why that was the choice. Tim Drake is not a coffee drinker). I am not going to gatekeep your experience with comics, and I am never going to send you anything that might make you feel bad for how you write your character. I love everyone’s interpretations, and I like seeing different takes on them! I just think it’s courteous to put this note here to be fully open and honest.

Thank you for taking the time to read through all of this; I know it’s long! I hope you have a fantastic day, and I look forward to writing with you! :D

[loveemagicpeace]

Hello, cross reader here from +62 (sorry if my english not so good). I enjoyed reading your observation and following you on insta 🙌😁✨ I wanna ask you, if you don't mind to answer 🙏😁✨

What dyt about having:

Retrogade jupiter in virgo 7h opposite sun 1h

Retrogade pluto in scorpio 9h conj mc

Sometimes i feel like my life is upside down 😌 does this placement bad for any luck/marriage/getting a job? ☹️ Please gimme the light abt the placements (it's ok for me if you gimme harsh truth). Thank you gbu 🙏😁✨

Hello! Thank you so much✨♥️

Jupiter in retrograde indicates the necessity to work on one’s inner self. An individual with Jupiter retrograde will achieve success by overcoming a path of thorns. The Square or Opposition aspects of Jupiter bear a lot of tension.

Retrograde jupiter in 7th house -this does not mean bad, but it can mean that you may not find love right away. It also depends on how many aspects there are with Jupiter. Jupiter in the 7th House makes the person much concerned about their relationship, and therefore, they would be able to lead a blessed and peaceful married life. Some people do well in regular daily public affairs and work related to public dealings. Jupiter in the 7th House may affect the spiritual beliefs of the natives, and they may become reckless in life. Their intelligence may get affected due to the daily life problems they face in life.

Jupiter opp Sun- There may be an internal struggle to control Jupiter’s expansive nature, which can show as an inflated ego, over-exuberance, and excesses in pleasure-seeking. Ups and downs in life are possible concerning wealth, happiness and relationships. Maybe it's harder for you to grow up or deal with growing up. Inspiration is harder to find. You can also feel like you're unlucky. It takes longer to find the meaning of life.

Pluto retrograde in 9th house -Pluto is the planet that is farthest from the earth, so its power does not affect your way of life so much. In general, Pluto retrograde in the natal chart is considered less impactful than some personal planet. If Pluto forms strong aspects to other planets or points that's when the energy shows up more. With pluto,the problem is control, intensity, power. You may feel that you don't have as much power or control as you would like to have. Over time, those with Pluto retrograde in the natal chart may become more able to integrate the intensity of their personalities. Because it is in your 9th house, you may feel that it may be difficult to find faith or trust in faith, travel and places may often be too foreign to you or you may not find what you are looking for there. Maybe you are not so open about changes. You often question the beliefs you were taught as a child. This placement suggests that there are several soul-searching phases in your life, which in the end, lead to deep transformation. Pluto in the ninth house often feels misunderstood. You experience transformation in this area all the time. It's like a journey that you experience and each one brings you new experiences and things. You enjoy learning, this placement suggests a lifelong learner. Some people with this placement don’t just go to college, but they also work there. Pluto here can support a career in education, especially in higher education. You also make an excellent researcher.

Pluto conj Mc- this is actually very good aspect. Pluto represents power and Mc represent public image, status & other people(how they see you). You do have a strong sense of purpose in life. Your success in life will be more rewarding and memorable. Even a totally new career or direction in life will feel more like a transformation for you, with old skills and talents being modified or used in different ways.

I hope you found out what you wanted✨😄

[internet-society]

Should Israel roll over and die for you? Would that make you happy? 7 million Jews and 2 million free Arabs just roll over and die?

You know there are Arabs in the IDF that are busy deleting Hamas as we speak?

I'm gonna answer this only because you think you have me in a "gotcha" & you don't think I'm capable of explaining my feelings & posts.

I am an American. I've lived in the United States all my life, but my family is from Mexico. I myself am afro-latina. What that means is, when most people see me, they see a black person. Most don't realize I speak Spanish so I'm constantly subject to discrimination in my face in two languages & two countries.

I try to stay out of protests for the aforementioned reason. Anywhere I go, I am asked to speak up for the actions of other black Americans & other black people in general. The more bigoted the crowd, the more ridiculous questions I get. It's hard for me to blend in. So I get pinpointed, bothered, assaulted, inappropriately touched in different areas of my body just because I was born in "this" skin.

I often reflected on what I learned about black slavery, the Holocaust, bombings, the fact that, because generations of my family had fled persecution from multiple imperialists, I was now able to live in relative ignorance of this harsh reality of life. I saw beheaded people on magazine covers, several of my family & their friends were brutally tortured & murdered by gangs, within America & in Mexico, I myself was shot as a kid, but my family told me to cover my eyes & ears & live a better life.

We're all sick of the bloodshed. The death. The outright murder. The laughing over corpses. We have commodities like fucking iPhones & hoverboards at the cost of human genocide, mutilation, & defilement. This is the same war that has been fought, over & over again. To me, it's not about what group is inherently evil & which group is inherently right. How can you justify holiness through bloodshed? How can anything be sacred when it prefers desecration over assistance?

You know as well as I do we live in an unjust world. I am ignorant because of this privilege, I grant you that. But I am tired & sore of screaming for change. We have all the tools at our disposal, we've had enough celebrities sing about it, we've done the calculations for the costs of global renewal energy, the end of world hunger, & free healthcare & education. We even have charities, large groups of people, entire nations already pushing & begging to make these policies an intrinsic part of reality.

And if this behavior of war, which has been condemned by the United Nations, by several countries, & by a large percentage of the world itself, is not brought to justice, what hope do any of us have? What reason to move forward? What reason to propagate humanity?

I am not pushing for a ceasefire. I am not pushing for the death of Isrealis. I am not pushing for an overthrow by Hamas. I am not pushing for any kind of racial distinction in promotion of either small or full-scale war. I am asking for us to end it. Forever. End this war, end these genocides, end this blatant slaughter, end fighting within this modern twilight zone that has the CAPACITY & the POWER to effect beneficial change for THE GLOBE, but refuses to because they weren't raised well by their own upbringers.

My anger may sound laughable & even silly, but it is the fact that I still have blood coursing through my veins that I continue to scream & yell, albeit on a platform which is probably getting relatively few views. Because I carry the blood of the colonized. Because I am the child of the massacred, the raped, the beaten. Because you are angry enough to send these silly asks on anon because you are either a coward wrapped in your own head or someone who doesn't have the skills necessary to articulate their feelings for the other side.

I don't hate you. I don't even feel sorry for you. You feel alone & cold in this world, as the rest of us do, but you don't have anything to believe in. You don't even believe in yourself. That's why you sent propaganda on anon. Because you like being told what to do.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Calling someone a cunt and telling them to shut the fuck up, oh my God. At this point maybe you really should delete your series and stop writing if you get this pissy about one entitled anon you have to give them a huge speech and call them names. I don't actually think you should but; interactions between writers and readers is a double edged sword. Readers should stop complaining and acting like writers owe them shit but writers need to realize that there are rude poeole in this world and you need to have thick skin if you post art. It's delusional to think that people will just stop sending hate comments because of couple of "writers appreciation" posts. Readers should stop bashing content they get for free but writers should stop acting like they're gods. They're not. If it's okay for you to call people fucking cunts, it's okay for them to give you the exact same energy back.

Alright, after some sleep and gaining some distance, I will admit that I’m not super happy about calling them a cunt and for the extreme harshness in the language I used, because I do feel that was unnecessary.

Here’s the thing though, it’s not just one entitled anon.

I have posted about this numerous times, and specifically this AU, about how asks and replies like this sap all my creative energy and make it feel impossible for me to write for my characters no matter how much I want to. I am constantly getting asks about updates or nitpicks and I almost never answer them, because it’s exhausting and easier for me to ignore.

I do typically have a thick skin, and even after this, my muse ended up waking up a lot faster than I thought it would. But you know what? My day was shit, I’ve had a massively stressful past few months, and it sucks ass that someone took something that I do for fun, and hope to have other people enjoy it with me, and offered up unsolicited criticism (but barely that because it’s not like they had a solution in mind) that felt like a fucking slap in the face. Especially when the fic they’re saying was rushed was supposed to be rushed, it’s a purely smutty fic on a list I’m tying to knock out so I can get back to writing more plot driven installments to all of my series.

I have never denied that there are rude people, but I get to cultivate a space here that is safe for me to express my creativity, and sometimes that means I have to call out bad behavior. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to ask for some consideration from my readers, because I am a real person, with real feelings, and sorry but sometimes those feelings get hurt. And honestly, your thought that I should just suck this shit up because there’s always gonna be hate is flippant as hell. Don’t you want the community to be a place where writers and readers can flourish together? Maybe offer solutions to the pervasive issues of entitlement you think you’re seeing from both sides instead of just telling everyone they need a thicker skin.

Again, I am sorry for the aggression on my last answer, but if you don’t want to engage in discourse towards a solution or just feel like insulting me, go ahead and block.

[just-another-dionysus-devotee]

Hi, I'm JK, coming for a feedback (or might as well, questions 🤔)

In case, there's another JK in ur ask, here's the link of the read you've done for me: https://at.tumblr.com/just-another-dionysus-devotee/hi-saw-your-free-reading-post-would-like-to/wrg2ke5gleou

Idk how I can explain my feelings when I read the part where you mentioned that it was very strong.

Indeed, I am trying to break free from feeling being in the cage. I'm 21, and I'm barely allowed to go out and hang out with friends. I am only allowed to go at the nearest town. city? No, no🥲. I have the urge to break "rules", but yeah... 🥲.

Now I come to think of it, I wonder if there are strong "energy" from others too? I'm curious of their messages.

P/S: You don't need to shuffle your deck if you can't or if you don't to do it. I respect your decisions 🙏

Thank you!! 💕

Hi again , I'm sorry you've been struggling with this ! My advice is that you make sure to be careful with your decisions . Don't do anything harsh that could lead you into too much trouble. But have persistence, this will pass eventually. I'm so sorry I'm not able to help anymore :(

Yes some of the people who wanted reading did have a strong energy and message ! Some don't It all depends on what they need in that point in time I believe . I'm more than happy to answer any more questions or chat If you need someone to talk to xx

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

Thoughts on cancel culture

I was thinking and heres my like opinions on the whole thing.

i FIRMLY believe punishment only needs to be as harsh as is required for correcting someone and I just think maybe thats how we should be when cancelling people...like...maybe it doesnt always have to be like. your career is over maybe it can be like..."hey just letting you know, that wasnt very nice to say" and then they stop doing that thing- and say "thanks for teaching me! i will do differently going forward : ) and correct that thing-" like its weird to just lose it on someone for making a mistake isint it? its like, this time in vr chat i was just having a good time goofing around in vr chat and having a good time and instead of someone saying "oh hey im getting kind of overwhelmed by what youre doing could you quiet down" they felt the need to cuss me out- and im like "all you had to do was ask me nicely to stop- but im sorry for bothering you, ill stop now" and you know what? i did stop. Not because I was cussed at, but because I like to make other people comfortable and happy too. I dont like to cause problems. All he had to do was express that he was uncomfortable and id have stopped.

I didint start it back up again. I didin't complain. But i did inform him he just had to ask nicely and i wouldn't do things to upset him on purpose : (

That is to say, I would have stopped and not started back up again if he'd just asked me nicely too : ( dont just assume someones like, a bad person who wont change and deserves to get screamed at and yelled at. if they really are adamant about their opinions or actions i dont think theyd change over any amount of cussing so thats kind of a waste of time and energy anyways...but like, if they are someone who can change maybe all you have to do is...ask nicely??? and if theyre a nice person they just will actually stop doing the thing you asked them to stop???

and I know a few folks who are intentionally acting edge-lordy not becaues they really think those things, but because they want a reaction out of people, and they also, cant really be corrected by cussing them out and yelling because well thats what they want too. So the only really logical answer seems to be "unless someone is an active threat to others around them, in which case its probably under the jurisdiction of the law, the best answer is to be nice and polite and to teach someone not try to publicly execute them for making a mistake" idk. i think it might also make it a lot easier for people to get extremist about things because where else can someone go once theyve been kicked out of decent society? they have to go somwhere and if the only people that will accept them are people with harsher opinions, thats probably where theyre going to go : ( especially if theyre told theres no way back...

I mean im open for debate but i think maybe we focus too hard on "getting back at them" and not enough on "assume ignorance over malevolence whenever possible"

I mean its easy to think everyone knows whats going on all the time but i just saw a freaking poll where 3% of people hadn't heard of *bat man* so i think its fair to assume theres a lot more people than you realize who just need like, to be told stuff even if you think EVERYONE knows something - Like im open to hear other opinons though, just like i said you don't have to cuss at me to talk to me you can always just talk reasonably to me- Im a reasonable human being- and i feel like if i did anything cancellable i'd also want to be spoken to nicely and just corrected because you only need a sentence to get through to me not a like...pitchfork. TT_TT

[kedsandtubesocks]

First of all don't be sorry for taking time! I still haven't wrote a reply to your previous answer to my ask which makes me feel bad. But whenever I try to open the ask my mind goes ... but! I love talking to you🥹 I just don't have the energy I guess. It's been tiring for me irl and people are mean on here for no reason. So I understand ^^ Happy to hear that my ask made your day and same here! Your reply made mine 🩷

I have been hearing about inuyasha a lot recently. Will sure check it out now! It has 8 seasons :0 heard of fma!! Dungeon meshi added to the list as well now😁 and sailor moon aha🥹🥹🥹 have you seen arrietty? What's your favorite ghibli movie? Mines grave of the fireflies (what if I tell you it's my comfort movie😭...), cat returns :") and!! Have u seen the boy and the heron? Am yet to watch it.

Love u!!take care💗 -🦭

Omg pls don’t feel bad about not replying to my precious response! The same consideration you sent my way about understanding with our responses and replies and the energy it takes I’m mirroring it back to you 🪞☺️

I’m sorry it’s been rough and tiring for you & I completely get how harsh it can be here online so don’t feel upset or rushed if you can’t interact, we all understand the struggles it is to sometimes simply navigate this space so pls get rest when you can! ♥️

But oaky enough of my little soft pep talk - back to anime!

YES! INUYASHA!!! All the options are so fun and I hope if you do en up diving into whichever one you do you’ll enjoy it 🥹✨💕

And I LOVE studio ghibli movies! My all time favorite for sure has to be spirited away 💛🍃

You’ve picked such good ones! I haven’t seen the cat returns or the boy and the heron yet but I’ve heard I’ve heard they’re both fantastic! I’ve especially wanted to see the boy & the heron to hear mr rob pat’s VA work lol 👏 have you seen it already?!

And thank you honey sending all my love back to you and hope the rest of your day is good to you 🩷

[seikyoko]

Hi....How are you? After reading your post, can I ask the rest of your top 20 of top 30 fav characters?... Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not why you like them.....(sorry for asking almost the same ask like someone before this)....Thanks a lot for your blog...love reading them.....🥰🤩

I know this isn't much of an excuse but I straight up forgot I had this ask. I'm really, really sorry

NOW ONTO THE CONTINUATION OF MY TOP 30 CHARAS (this is my top 10 ) I'm dividing this into two posts

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

11) The whole damn cast of Beelzebub

There are "two/three chara's braincells are allergic to the other's " and there is the utter dumbassery energy field that is this mess. The reason I spent so much time answering this was initially bec I tried really hard to pick a fave among them, yet even picking my top 5 Beelzebub charas among the rest was like asking a mother which child to kill off. The entire manga was so wild I couldn't believe what I was reading with my own two eyes and I wish I could say that iwas because of an epic mastermind or some complex conflict but it was because each chara was so off their rocker it degenerated into something insane. Even if no demon chara whatsoever appeared the human high-school charas would have done Something (TM) or several Somethings that would leave me on the floor laughing increduously.

12) Lloyd Forger (Spy x Family)

He's cool, hot, he drink his respect women juice, he's a kind and moral and caring person, I love the moments he get unlucky. he's an amazing father and has been doing amazing at it despite it having happened because he scrambled to adopt a kid after a mission requested it out of the blue and not having much of an idea on how to go about it. He did fuck up with Anya several times (like how he was too harsh on her about her education in order to complete his mission) but he learn from it, apologize, and do better by her and prioritize her well-being and happiness despite that being in the way of his mission, his interactions with Yor are very cute, and his spy feats being cool af are a nice bonus

13) Leorio Paladknight (Hunter X Hunter)

I love him, he's so kind, ressourceful, and utterly shameless about what he seeks. He states "I want money" without any kind of pretentiousness or fancy-talk, because even if it was all there was to it, seeking a more comfortable living for yourself isn't anything to be ashamed by, and he doesn't owe them the information of his tragic backstory. But also because the whole yapping about honor and "not being swayed or greedy for money" is hella annoying for someone all too aware of how even the most basic of necessities like food, shelter, clothes or a child receiving cure for a mortal disease depends on money. I really like that about his character

He's an incredibly compassionate human being, he said in live TV he spent the summer "jerking off" then got self-conscious about what he said immediately and said"forget about it".

He's a beyond amazing friend and that sometimes lead to stuff like being involved in a revenge quest against the Phantom, flipping off Chrollo while knowing what he is and what he's capable of and yelling at him "you want a piece of me ?", punching Ging on live TV and running for president and telling his audience he'd basically just mobilize the Hunter Association to heal his friend. And they voted for him anyways, because they had taste (and also because of the Ging-punching euphoria, but once again, it was because they had taste).

He didn't know jack shit about nen in York New then re-appeared in Election arc with a teleporting punch of all thing which sparked all kind of hilarous headcanon of what Leorio's teacher must have thought about the whole thing/having a good laugh about what he'd teach Leorio

14)Fujishiro Nageki (Hatoful Boyfriend)

No words are needed.

15) Light Yagami (Death Note)

Don't have much to say other than "Utter buffoon", the whole Death Note anime was a ride, even simple potato-chips eating moments, and he spent every single second of it clowning on himself. He should have been number one of this goddamn fave list.

16) Rina Song (Surviving Romance)

My beloved, My sweetie. Overpowered high-school girl who just want to pursue romance, except stuck on a zombie apocalypse with a mostly female cast. Extremely good and supportive friend when you happen to win her over, keep her goddamn promises, called Min-woo "my little pop rock" with a straight face. Her friendship with Chaerin is something I'd obsess over until the end of the universe, no, probably even after that.

I loved the whole damn chapter 47 where the one thing that contrast the creepiness of the whole thing is Rina Song getting moved and being happy because Chaerin's "crush" is confessing to her. Like, she's a little confused but she sure know how to be a supportive friend.

And even more, because of her scary appearance and how vocal she is about her crush, and how the people wary of her/terrified of her find that off-putting, maybe make the author and the narrative itself make fun of the scary muscly girl for having a crush or frame it as creepy, yet it doesn't go that path. The way she talks about and reminisce about her feelings in the latest chapters are some of the most moving stuff I'd seen. I'm not even into romance or the like but the earnestness and selflessness of her feelings left me contemplative, they'd leave me contemplative even if it wasn't all that self-less, because it's how strongly her love came across.

I got misogyny-caricature-trope baited, and I'm glad how the whole thing turned out.

17) Shiba Ganju (Bleach)

You'd think that I've chosen him because he's an underrated chara or something and that there are Bleach charas or even other mangas charas that I like more, and you would be wrong. This is his genuine place on the list.

Certified dumbass, made a "map" of Soul Society though he doesn't know any locations so he basically just drew a big circle and kept mentionning his "Soul Society map" to the high-strung Ichigo, the Hanatarou-Ganjuu-Ichigo trio was very charming, love his dumbass-resonance with Ichigo, love how he objectively state his titles being preceded by "self-proclaimed".

And, though he has all the reasons in the world to hate Shinigami (Rukia), who just showed one day dropping his brother's corpse that she skewered and said herself that she'd killed him with, like, zero explanations. He's not fully satisfied with dropping it at that, because he can't help but wonder why Kaien didn't hate the Shinigami (Rukia), and why he thanked her, and it just haunt him for years, despite everything else pointing out that he should objectively loathe the Shinigami (Rukia) and find them detestable, and the fact that he suffered a very big and hurtful loss, he's not fine with dismissing Kaien's reaction/input or leaving it at that, not even because of what Ichigo told him about the Shinigami (Rukia) who saved him, but because he pondered on that for longer than that. So he head out and get involved in that big mess because he wants to forge his own answers and opinion on the matter. This fucker is incredible.

18) Mayuzumi Chihiro (Kuroko no Basket)

He is so full of salt, poor fucker was minding his own damn business in the rooftop reading and probably getting ready to study for his entrance exams or something and got involved in the Miragen mess and the Akakuro Divorce, participating in some bball tournament should never have landed him in such telenovela, yet he might as well have expected it because from what we see, that dude's luck is cursed. He does stuff like get on random trains and wander around, he has a very entertaining and salty monologue and snarky thoughts, go king. I'm sad we didn't have more of his screen-time but he was probably internally like "ugh finally" so I'm gonna cheer for his off-screen peace

19) Azudora (Helck)

It's one of the rare serious-complex-like to put on a comical front -prankster but done right unlike all the other obnoxious representations of that trope. I find his backstory with Uria and how he deals about the whole human-demon thing very compelling, I like his level-headedness and maturity and kindness and wisdom and strength of heart and the fact that he's a dork. I very much love that instead of saying an actually serious argument/his actual feelings on the matter he was like "wait we shouldn't annihilate humans, guys imagine the effect of wiping out an entire species would have on our eco-system"

20) Chaerin Eun (Surviving Romance)

I love her growth, her chara development, the whole expanding on her actual feelings of being unable to see anyone other than Jeha and how scared and isolating the experience was for her. In another universe she would have been the bitch protagonist a beloved isekaied into a villainess protag would have fought and won against. This time around our protag is the self-absorbed superficial obsessed by her crush shallow girl, without even the cop-out of another mature/modest person taking her place or her travelling back in time or her "going to her senses" too rapidly. I am utterly in love with her journey and story And I'm not the only one

[stillthesamekid]

Lights up

Toji saves you from a mission that goes wrong

PARING: toji fushiguro/f!reader

GENRE: plot to smut; angst if you squint

WARNINGS: +18, NSFW, blood

WORD COUNT:1,5k

AUTHORS NOTE: hello! This is my first ever fic so be kind everyone. I hope to make many more in the near future!! Also if you have any suggestions feel free to ask. Oh and for now I will only do jjk fics. That is it for now, hope you enjoy it.

It was  getting  late and you already lost track of time. “What a place to have your first solo mission, ha..”

Your mission for today was to exercise a Second Grade curse, your first ever solo task.  And it was not an easy one to say the least, with little  to no light in a remote warehouse on the east side of Tokyo, the feeling of solidarity and weary started to get to your head.

With your flashlight now on, you started to make your way through the abandoned halls. The shattered glass was everywere, so was the smell of fresh blood.

Climbing up the first floor and exploring the new area you come across the curses first victim. Old homeless man, late 50s died a day ago probably.

“Poor man” you tought to yourself .

There were few needles across the floor indicating the usage of drugs.  Although the everyday sight of dead peolpe should make one heartless by now, you still cant help  yourself but to feel sorry for these innocent people.

After getting on the second floor it didn't take you a long time to notice that  the room to your left was were the curses new victim was. The only difference this time was , that not only did you find a dead body ,but you also found its cause of death.

“Holly hell it's huge, Gojo definitely missed telling me this detail.“

The curse was 4 meters at least, it berely fit into the room. The terrifying sight of a grey looking creature caught you off guard, so much so that the flashlight your left hand held dear to your life, fell into a pile of blood.

“ Great, now what…“ Unable to see the curse, you begain to run to the nearest beam of light. It didn't take long for the curse to catch up to you, grabbing you by the ankle and turning you upside down.

“Ugh!” Its razon sharp claws started to slash your back and although you fought back with every fiber of your beaing, you were no match for this curse.

The only thing that was left is to surrender and accept the death that was just around the corner.

“God, please…”

As you begain to close your eyes,you heard a loud bang that sounded a lot like a gunshot.

In front of you now stood a 6'2 man wearing a black t-shirt that extended his toned muscles, and a white baggy pair of pants.

“Who ar-” you heard another bang indicated towards the curse. The grip to your ankle got loose and you were tossed on the floor hitting your head. The last this you remember was a man approaching you just as you started to loose your consciousness.

....

“Look who's finally awake, welcome back.”

You woke up in a strange tiny apartment,head still hurting from a tough fall.

There was a man sitting next to you on a bed, the same one from earlier today. But now, with the lights on you could actually see his face ,not only his silhouette. You looked at him for a moment, observing the scar at the cornor of his mouth. His eyes glued onto yours, expecting you to start asking questions.

“Where am I?” you said softly, not wanting to use much of your energy. “Wow, not even a thank you? What a world we live in.” The smile on his face was making him look like this was an everyday occurrence.

“Yes, thank you. But where am I?” the way you answered his question sounded harsh, not exactly how you wanted to come across but who could blame you.

“You're alive, thats the only important thing, don't ya think?” he continued not breaking the eye contact.“ I saw you getting into that wreck of a house, so I decided to follow you. I bet you're happy I did”.The way his eyes were scanning every part of your body made you feel exposed.

“How lo-”

“You've been here for the past couple of hours. Don't worry I treated your wounds, although they looked nasty they were mostly superficial.” He said patting your sholder.

“Thank you” was the only thing that you could say while looking into his eyes for the first time today.

“No problem doll, make sure to rest, I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

That was the last thing he said before he exited the now cold feeling room.

....

After couple of hours of rest you decided to get out of bed. The would on your ankle needed a new bandage. As you steped a foot into the living room, the look of a undisturbed man laying on a couch caught your attintion.

You decide to observe the view ahead of you for a moment, before you reach out your hand to caress the strand of hair that was covering his right eye.

“Hey there, I tought you were resting in the bedroom?” His question was genuine, with no fraud smile to see. You startled, not thinking he would wake up.

“I was looking for um.. a bandage..” yeah right like he would belive you the way that sounded.

“Sure you were doll” there it was again, that cocky smile “sit here I'll get it for ya.” His back was facing you , and you could not help yourself but to admire his physique. It took you a second to figure out that you've been cought staring.

“If you keep staring like that, you might burn a hole trough my back” you blusshed, you could practically see his smirk even tho his back was still facing you.

On his way back he did not sit next to you on the couch, insted he kneeld before you and started clean your already healing wound.

“I didn't tell you to clean it-” he grabed your ankle, making you shiver.

“Didn't take you as a person with low pain tolerance.” You sigh not knowing what to answer

“ ..it's not that, you just strteled me..ah!” dammit now you sound like a lier.

“ C'mon no need to pretend, plus I'm beaing gentile ” doesn't feel  gentile you think to yourself. Right after putting on bandages on he starts to massage your ankle

“Heyy you don't need to do that” his head tilts up looking at yours , eyes burning with desire

“why shouldn't I when you  enjoy it this much , ha?” His left hand remains on your ankle while the right one makes its way to your thigh making your skin warmer by every minute.

“Wait I-”

“Toji.”  

Your thoughts are starting to get blurry “what?”

“It's Toji”

He says not long after moving to a couch and getting you on his lap. You're so close to his face, feeling his warm breath on your neck.

“Is this more gentle doll?”a large hand starts cupping the flesh of your brest.

Just then you noticed that you're missing a bra underneath the shirt, he probably took it off to treat the wounds on your back. You were bearly in a shirt and shorts since your uniform is torn apart.

"Yes please..."

“Please what?” the words escape his mouth as he removes his hands from your body, not giving you the pleasure you're needing.

“Touch me, toji..” you coun't believe how desperate you sounded.

It didn't him a long before his right hand found the curve of your ass, squeezing just enough to make you moan.

Your lips soon met his own, causing the explosion of emotions inside of you. The feeling of his scar against your skin made you shiver.

“God, you're so beautiful.”

You buried your head in his chest, not wanting him to see your face red as a tomato.

He took that as a chance to slide two fingers inside you, making you moan his name.

You didn't notice your hips riding fingers until he added another one. Every thrust he did made you clench your fingers onto his back even more.

"Are you sure that ya only want these fingers doll?"

Unable to think, you say the only thing on your mind. “You, I need you inside off me....now.”

A grin starts forming on his face as he unzips his pants. His hand holds his length, guiding it to your already wet entrance. He can feel your body tense, waiting for it.

Without a warning, he thrust his length into you making you squeal in delight. A cry escapes you, begging him to start moving.

“You take me so well doll, ready for me to move?”

Before you could even answer, he starts thrusting fast and balls deep. The only thing you could do was to hold on tight until you break.

"Ahh.. fuck”

“Ya liked that, don't ya”

“Yess, more..”

You were moaning, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head from the pleasure. You couldn't take it and longer. Luckily he was also at his limits, with every move taking his closer to the edge.

“Toji, I'm close..”

“I know doll, me too. Just hold on for a bit."

After couple of more thrusts, you're reached your climax. Now panting, you held onto his shoulders for support just as he was riding out his high.

"...I'm afraid that we will have to change those bandages again..”

[caxsthetic]

SLEEP THE NIGHT — miya atsumu

Type: Standalone Movie (One-Shot Fiction)

Cast: Miya Atsumu

Storyline: Tonight, he want to be the best boyfriend that he could be.

Genre: Drama, Slice of Life

He never cooked.

Miya Atsumu never dared to stand in the kitchen because he knew too well what could possibly happen. His twin brother who was now the owner of the infamous onigiri chain always told him that whatever he touched somehow turned into fire.

But he didn't care, at this moment he could only focus on the opened page of his tablet where your favourite food displayed. He tried to find the high rated recipe, even though it was not the simplest one, he just wanted to cook what was best for you.

After all, a perfect woman like you only deserves the nicest thing in life.

You were so patient, always supporting him through every step that he took. Never once you complained about his busy schedule, his almost non-existent presence inside the apartment you shared, or even the way he put you second after volleyball.

Volleyball always came first, that was a fact that you knew since you dated him long ago in high school. He loved the said sport more than anything in the world. His fiery passions, his energy, his time — he gave it all to a sport that he found together with his brother when they were just a silly kid.

And then came you, always silencing all those nosy new supporters when it was time for him to serve. Then came you, helping him answer a question that his teacher threw at him because he fell asleep in class after a harsh tournament.

You, a woman who helped him get through his days as your existence was like a guiding star for him.

He would fall into pieces if you were not there, walking by his side to remind him of time. He needed time to eat, time to rest, time to let loose and hang out with his beloved friends from high school. Atsumu was sure that he would be lost without you there for him.

So just this one time, he wanted to make it right for you.

"You don't have to cook for me, Atsumu." He just hummed to give you a sign that he heard you. "Atsumu, please." But he ignored your plea and continued to read the recipe. He wanted to do something good, something that a perfect boyfriend should do.

You could only let out a sigh as you sat on the kitchen island's stool, eyeing the national setter as he carefully added some ingredients on the pan. He hissed as the oil splashed out a little, hitting his skin that made him go into panic mode.

A chuckle slipped from your lips as you saw him frantically running to the sink, letting out a sigh of relief once he could feel cold water streaming down his hand, easing the pain in an instant. He really tried, today he really tried.

You didn't have the heart to stop him since you knew that once he set his mind on something, he wouldn't care about what anyone else's said. So you just sat there, becoming a company that he wanted, just like you always became for years slipping into his life.

"Come on, Atsumu." He insisted you to stay still as he cooked for you, and you didn't want to hurt his pride by walking toward him without telling him first. "Let me help you." So you asked, hoping that he would accept your proposition.

"Nope! Let me try this on my own." He answered with the same excitement as before and went back to his task. "Just sit there, I am almost done. Promise." Then he calmed down, composing himself so he could cook with a clear mind.

He needed to do it, he couldn't let tonight turn into another day where you ended up being the one who took care of him.

Atsumu turned off the stove before preparing the pristine white plate that would be used to showcase your favourite dish. He smiled in triumph as he looked at the masterpiece. Tonight was the first time he cooked a meal like this, and he couldn't help but be proud of himself for this one achievement.

Though, the glee that he felt right now was nothing compared to the twinkle that was seen in your eyes.

Your lips tugged into a smile as he set down the meal in front of you. He didn't want to eat, no, he wanted to see you first as your hand grabbed the fork. And the second you popped the piece into your mouth, he never felt this happy to see someone he loved enjoying his hard work.

You squealed a little, humming in satisfaction as you tasted the food that the blonde made just for you. It was happiness, written all over your face as you continued to eat, and each bite only made you crave for more.

Maybe this was what Osamu felt, maybe this was the reason why his brother wanted to be in the culinary career. To make people smile, to see the joyful look from your loved one for something that you made.

Wouldn't it be lucky to have the younger twin as a lover? Running a respected business, working together with a dear friend, all bills covered, making something that others could enjoy, things that his lover would cherish at the end of the day.

Truthfully — Atsumu was a little bit jealous of his twin right now.

Because with volleyball, he couldn't do the same. Sure, you were there on almost every match that he had. Yes, there was always a smile on your face as you cheered for him. And of course, you looked so happy as you stood at the stands with pride swelling your chest.

But was that enough to give to a lover?

His winning only belonged to him, it was something that anyone else couldn't enjoy, except maybe his teammate. Unlike food that could be tasted, unlike clothes that could be worn. Volleyball just, well, volleyball. It was a sport that he loved, one that he couldn't share with a lover.

Yet you never changed, you never left him. Even though he couldn't give much, even though he was not that perfect boyfriend who could pay all the bills and buy you expensive gifts — you stayed, for such a long time, patiently there even though he was barely around.

"Atsumu?"

He jolted when his name slipped from your lips. Brown orbs immediately finding yours that filled with concern, face softened at whatever expression that was shown on his facade right now. "Why don't you eat your meal? Do you dislike it now?"

"No, no." He cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. "I like it, I like anything that you love, (Y/n)." He wanted to bonk his head for saying such a cliche sentence, but he couldn't help it since it was exactly what he felt.

You only gave him a smile before focusing back to the meal that he made for you. And for him, seeing you like this, so adorable as you shove your favourite food in your mouth — he wished that he did something like this sooner, adding some spices to his endless routine at the court.

Adding you, to his daily routine.

"I am going to clean the dishes, okay?" You said softly as you got up from your seat. Your plate was already empty with how fast you ate the meal. "You already cooked, so let me do this one."

He didn't answer and just ate the rest of the food on his plate. With his speed, he choked a little but kept continuing anyway. He gulped down a glass of water right after his plate was clean without anything on top of it.

"No. Let me be a good boyfriend to-"

"Atsumu."

The setter immediately went silent from the intonation that you used. Stern, yet still filled with warm. He didn't dare to say anything as you grabbed his plate away, afraid that he would ruin the perfect night.

Like what he always did, like all the nights before this.

"Just go upstairs, I will join you in bed once I am done." He didn't move though, eyes fleeting to where you were right now as you walked to the sink.

"You promise?"

You dropped the plate gently, letting out a sigh before turning your face toward him. There it was, a smile that always made him feel at ease. You looked so breathtaking even if you only cladded with old pajamas and hair sticking out like you haven't combed for days.

"I promise, Atsumu."

And with that, he stood up. Knowing for sure that you were a woman of your word.

Atsumu wanted to walk up toward you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he let his face rested on your nape, sniffling your scent as much as he could. But he was afraid, he never did that before, what if you didn't get used to him for being so touchy like that?

He decided to turn his head and ascend to the second floor where the shared bedroom was located. When he thought about it, he was rarely there, sleeping on the same bed with you even though it would be years since he had you as his lover.

Most of the time he was always out, practising until late at night, bonding with his teammates, and decided to crash at his friend's apartment instead since it was too far from his place to their gymnasium. Yet you always reached for him. Making time to give him some healthy lunchboxes and snacks in between your busy hours of work.

He realised that he was such a bad boyfriend.

"Hey, 'Tsumu-"

"You are coming today, right?" He asked with excitement as he zipped his team jacket up. "We are going to play against Suna! Ha, I want to rile him up so much I wonder how he is in the court right now." He looked like a child, gleeful as he looked at his reflection on the mirror. "You gonna be there?"

You could only stare at him, spinning your brain to think about what sentence that you should let out.

"W-Well, of course." You cleared his throat, cursing at yourself for even stuttering. "You promised to take me to that restaurant you reserved after the match too, how could I waste a chance to spend time with my boyfriend?"

And as you saw his face contorted into a shocked one, you knew that you were back in the same cycle all over again. "You forget, didn't you?"

"Fuck, I am sorry." He immediately turned his face toward you, fear coated his eyes. "I forgot to make the reservation and I— shit! I even promised Suna to hang out after that." He immediately took a few steps forward, wanting to cup your cheek as he knew you didn't deserve to be treated like this — from time to time.

"It's okay, 'Tsumu." And this was always the outcome. "Volleyball world comes first, I know. It's alright." For you to be so understanding, for you to realise your place. "Just make it up for me by enjoying your game. Win this game for me, maybe?"

He was relieved that you didn't get angry, most women would kick his ass if he acted like this all the time. But never you, never his (Y/n).

"You know I always win." He chuckled softly, followed by yours as he leaned in to press his lips on your forehead. "And today is nothing different. Why would I need to win for you just today though? The other match wins were all for you too."

"So it's like a routine, then?" Your eyes fleeting to pierce into his brown orbs. "Hey, 'Tsumu, do you have any plan for me today?"

Why did he feel like that question was a trap? With how your eyes filled with hope, he wanted to say that he indeed had a plan for you. But he didn't, and he couldn't lie. Because in the end, you always see right through him. That was proven by how the hope was gone even before he could part his lips.

"I see." There was a little remorse in your tone, and he wanted to cheer you up in an instant. "That's okay, then!" Yet you were the one who cheered him up, didn't want him to worry about anything. "Come on, let's go. I don't want your teammates to be wary if you are late!"

He frowned when he remembered that day. How he dropped you to stay with his twin brother the whole match, the way your eyes glimmered as Osamu gave you a lunch box filled with your favourite filling onigiri. The hug that was shared, that lingered longer as his twin congratulated you a 'happy birthday'.

Atsumu wanted to punch himself when he realised that it was your birthday after all. The reason why you wanted to spend time with him, why you seemed more clingy that day, of course. And yet, he was not the first person who gave you the greetings, even though he was the one who you saw first thing in the morning.

He always wondered about why you decided to stay with him in his free time that was almost non-existence.

How you always let everything slide, how you suck it up and just focus on his well being, how you answer everyone teasing about him being a bad boyfriend — yet you always answered with pride that whatever happened, he was a good one, and you were happy to have him as your boyfriend.

But at one point, anyone must have hit their limit. Right?

"What is clouding in that big head of yours, Atsumu?" You flicked his forehead, and it was like a reminder to him that he had you in his arms right now, laying under the warm blanket in the bedroom that you two shared. "Your upcoming—"

"You." He answered truthfully before averting his gaze from the ceiling to your face. "I was thinking about you, honestly."

There was a flicker of sadness in your eyes, and he wanted to curse at himself for saying something like that out of the blue. "I am sorry, I know that tonight was supposed to be just us enjoying the moment together and not being sappy."

He held your body even closer than before, afraid that you would be gone too soon if he let it loose. His body shifted a little so he could plant a kiss at the crown of your head, eyes fluttering close as he bathed on the scent that reminded him that he would never be alone.

No words were being said after that, just you and him in each other's embrace. Your fingers stayed in his unruly hair, caressing the blonde strands that slowly lulled him to sleep.

But he didn't want to sleep yet. He didn't want to close his eyes. He wanted to savour the moment with you, one that he rarely felt with how he always prioritised volleyball above everything else. Above you, even.

Atsumu rubbed his eyes from time to time, insisting to stay awake and gripped your hips a little tighter than before. Just one more minute, he wanted to feel your warm body cuddling against his skin for a little longer.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He called out, earning a little hum of acknowledgement slipping from your lips. "Can you call me like you used to?"

He could feel how your body went rigid for a second. Your breath hitched, halted as if the request was something that could hurt you. "I understand if you can't though. I am okay if you didn't, I just want to hear it again."

One second, two seconds, everything felt so heavy as he waited for your answer. He wanted to hear his nickname from your lips, it sounds so lovely, not irritating like how his brother called him with the same name.

"Okay, 'Tsumu."

He felt so relieved as he heard his name rolled down your tongue. Happiness, love, comfort, he found it all with the way you called his name. You always use that nickname ever since you dated him, and it felt like a lifetime ago since the last time he heard it from you.

It was just Atsumu now. No more 'Tsumu, just his full first name that still sounded so odd since he still couldn't believe his mind. No, he could believe it. With how much he neglected you, with how much he was never there in your life — he acknowledged it. He just didn't want to.

"You should sleep, 'Tsumu." Your fingers trailed down his cheek as you looked up. "You have practice tomorrow, right?"

You knew all about his schedules, all the things that he allowed to eat and things that he had to do. You printed his routine in the back of your mind, somehow up until now, you couldn't help but care for him.

"Yeah, I have practice tomorrow." He gulped down before booping your nose playfully. "But I want to stay awake a little more. If that's too much to ask?"

He mustered his puppy eyes, pouting a little and tightening his embrace around you. This was your weakness, to see him all clingy like this. And when you let out a sigh and giggle, he knew that he got you.

"God, I love you so much to resist you, you know that?" You whispered out under your breath. But then as if you knew in an instant what you had said, you cleared your throat. "Okay, I give in. Stop giving me that puppy eyes, Atsumu."

"Sorry, sorry." He smiled sheepishly before resting his head comfortably on the pillow once again, securing you in his embrace as you laid back on his chest. "One more question, (Y/n). And then I promised I would zip my mouth after that until we fell asleep."

"Alright, shoot."

He frowned a little, eyes scanning the unfamiliar ceiling. He was not supposed to feel like a guest in his own place. Yet as he saw the beige coloured ceiling with some starlight sticker, he didn't feel right. Yeah, it was the price that he had to pay for rarely here in this apartment with you.

"From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a man I am today?"

He heard a sigh, another one slipped from you. Atsumu could count how many times you had sigh because of him, and he really wished that he could make you laugh instead of giving you headaches like this. "Don't sugarcoat though, I just needed the truth."

"Ten." You answered without doubt, yet as he looked down, wanting to see your eyes, you didn't look up. "Not just today, you always had a perfect score as a man. Passionate, have a big dream, would do anything to achieve it. If not I am not going to be your girlfriend for so long."

Ah, he just realised that he used the wrong term in his question.

"Let me rephrase it, (Y/n)." He closed his eyes, thinking if he was ready to hear the truth or not. "From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a boyfriend I am today?"

You clutched the tight shirt that he wore at his question, burying your face on his chest to hide yourself. He raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, didn't know why you couldn't answer it. Maybe it was that bad, maybe he could never be a good boyfriend after all.

"Perfect." He almost couldn't hear your answer with how it muffled on his shirt. "You are so perfect today, 'Tsumu."

Though he could hear it so clearly, the answer. He wanted to hear the other statement, of how he was always a perfect boyfriend, just like how you told him he was a perfect man. But of course it was not possible, he never became a lover that you could be proud of.

All these time, you complimented him, you showed to the world his capability. His skill in volleyball, his soft side toward his brother, how loyal he was to his friends — but you never said anything about how good of a boyfriend he was.

It was just all about him, not how he treated you.

"Hold me," He pleaded, biting his lips since he didn't want his voice to waver. "Hold me tighter than usual." His voice sounded like a whisper as he held you close, and he wanted you to do the same. "Please?"

Miya Atsumu was not someone who liked to beg, he knew you always gave what he wanted anyway. "Just tonight." But he wouldn't gamble anything right now. "I just need it tonight."

He swallowed down the tears that entreating to escape from his eyes. With how your arm moved to hold him close, caging him in a circle filled with comfort, maybe this was enough to be remembered.

Maybe this was enough to be remembered forever.

"I love you, 'Tsumu."

You sat in the living room with your head hanging low, hands covering your face as you didn't have the courage to look up at where your boyfriend sat. "But I am… Tired."

This was the first time he saw you cry. No, the first one was when he won national all those years ago in high school as he screamed at you that he won for you too. But never like this, the tears you shed right now was different from back then. "I tried, I really want to stay with you, to kiss you every morning, to cuddle with you under the blanket."

He couldn't say anything, heart thundering as he knew what would happen next. He was not stupid, of course everyone had their limit, and after years went by with a stagnant pace in the relationship — of course you were going to hit it, sooner or later.

"But you are never there, 'Tsumu."

You finally looked at him, and you could feel your heart shattered even more when you saw his expression. He was dumbstruck, tongue-tied. It was as if he knew that this day would happen, but he still didn't want to believe it.

He didn't want to believe that one day you would get tired of being second in his life.

"Does that mean…" He couldn't ask, knowing the answer to his next question. But he needed to make sure. "Does that mean you want to end this?"

The sunlight that slipped in between curtains was the one who woke him up. He hissed as it reached his eyes, forcing him to wake up. But he closed his eyes once again, stirring his body a little to wrap his arms around you, wanting to feel the warm that your body radiated.

Yet he was only met with cold.

And that was the thing that woke him up in an instant.

His breath laboured as he sat on the bed, brown orbs scanning the room that he shared with you. No, you didn’t just leave, right? But he scanned the room, again and again, searching for any kind of sign that you were still there.

Then again, who was he anyway, to know the signs. He was never here, he could count how many nights that he slept here with you. Atsumu didn’t even remember there were any photographs of you and him together hanging on the wall, he didn’t even know the time you decided to put some starlight sticker on the ceiling, he didn’t know what was the difference between this morning and the others.

Though one thing that he knew for sure, you would always be there when he woke up here.

“Then, please. Give me just one day! I just need one day of your life.”

Atsumu knew that this morning would come, when emptiness met him and reality sinked in as he remembered all the flaws that he had. His feet dragged him out from the bedroom that now felt suffocating for him. He needed you, he had to see you.

“But, Atsu—”

“I will prove it to you! I promise that I’ll make things right for you.”

It was so quiet, there was no music playing on the soundbar. You used to play some upbeat songs to fill the silence as you waited for him to show up after shower. Yet as he walked down the stairs, he could only hear his own footsteps.

“And then you can leave. You can sneak out when I am asleep. You know how much of a heavy sleeper I am, right?”

But then, he was right from the start.

“Alright, Atsumu. I will give you one more night.”

You were indeed — a woman of your words.

MASTERLIST

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