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androgynousafterdark · 6 months

Note

Heyyy, i just came here to thank you for blessing us all with your recent severus snape x male reader fic.

Its not something we see alot on here, so thank you for your service, but im here to request something similer since its become one of my favorites.

could you maybe create a second x male fic but where there actually in a relationship and severus and reader Are together/married?

i would just like it to be smutty, thank you.

i’ll be leaving the rest up to you🖤

Of course! So sorry it took me so long to get to your submission 😭.

Sweets

Severus Snape x Reader, Smut, Male Reader, Established Relationship, light dom/sub themes, rough sex, oral sex (M Receiving)

You and Severus had been together for a year now. Married for a year, that is. Though Severus had never really been one for religion, he still wanted to wait for marriage to have sex.

And yet, a year later, you still hadn't done it. The two of you were both busy people, what with Severus being a professor and you working as an Auror at the Ministry of Magic, the two of you were often rather tired and not in the mood for sex.

However, one day, Severus unexpectedly took the day off on the same day you had. When you came downstairs to make your coffee, Severus was waiting for you. His somber expression softened when he saw you.

"Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?" His voice was always habitually soft around you.

"I did. What are you doing here, darling? Is Hogwarts not in session today?" You came towards him, setting your coffee down on the corner of the kitchen island.

"..I realise that though we have been married for quite some time, we have not consolidated our union." He took your hands in his own, his hands cold against the warmth of your skin. "I would like to remedy this, if you would allow it."

It was enough to make anyone's heart flutter. The first time the two of you were to have sex.. you knew Severus would make it special.

"Of course I would, I just.. what brought this on, love?"

"I.. was speaking to my colleague about you. A comment was made. And I realised that you and I should have done it long ago." Severus' dark eyes met yours, and his hands tightened. "..Would you like to do it now?"

Who would you be to say no?

And so, a few minutes later, you were consumed in the throes of passion, kissing him hotly. Your breath mingled as he ran his hands over your body. The two of you had of course had makeouts that devolved into grinding, but Severus had never actually been inside you before.

His heart raced under your palm, and he pulled away to catch his breath.

"My love, please.. let's not wait any longer," he murmured, his low, smooth voice a little rough with need.

Severus had never really been the type to be needy. If he needed to, he would simply find a private place such as a bathroom or locked office to take care of his needs.

But now, with you, it seemed all he wanted to do was be one with you. To be connected in the most intimate way possible.

You could feel his hard-on through his pants, and his length strained against the fabric.

You placed a hand over it, looking up at him for permission, and slowly, he nodded. Your deft fingers worked open his belt and freed his cock. The tip was an angry red and leaking precome already. Not only was Severus long, he was thick, and the sheer size was enough to make you drool.

Slowly, carefully, you wrapped your lips around his tip, suckling gently before beginning to slowly, carefully guide your head down.

His large hand tangled in your hair, his expression going tight with pleasure as he felt your tongue trace the vein along the underside.

He tasted salty-sweet on your tongue, the weight satisfying to feel in your mouth. You could feel his cock twitching at the erotic sight of you sucking him off so sweetly.

However, he soon pulled you off, very gently. "No, my love, not like this. When I come.. you must come with me."

He guided you to lay back, kissing you deeply. He moaned at the taste of him on your tongue. He kissed his way down your body, gentle but still laced with the heat of desire that he felt for you.

As he went, he stripped away every layer of clothes hiding your beautiful body from him. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen you naked before, as the two of you had taken showers together before and often changed in the same room at the same time. But each time, he always had to stop and marvel at your perfection.

"You are so beautiful, my love.." he murmured. "So very breathtaking." Severus ran his cold hands over your skin, enjoying the warmth he felt.

You were always the warm one in the relationship, for both physical and emotional aspects. Your body was warm, and Severus was always cold. You were also the "people person" of the two of you.

He loved feeling you shiver under the chill of his hands on your bare skin.

He kissed all the way down until he reached your navel, then he pulled back, rubbing his hands over your thighs. "..Is missionary alright, love? I'd like to see you."

You nodded profusely, internally giddy about the situation.

He gently stretched you with his mouth and tongue first, taking his time and making sure that nothing hurt you at all. Every time you even slightly moved, he'd stop and look to make sure you weren't hurting.

But it wasn't enough for you. His fingers couldn't possibly compete. You needed him, and you needed him now.

"Severus, please.. I'm ready for you. Take me." He couldn't resist you, not when you sounded like you were on the verge of tears.

"Alright, darling. We will take it slowly." He was careful, but he couldn't hold back any more than you could.

His cock pushed inside you, still carefully enough not to hurt you. He indeed was huge, and felt even bigger inside you.

He buried every inch of himself inside you, then slowly pulled out to almost the tip. Then, without warning, he slammed back in, groaning. "Oh, Merlin... Good boy. You take me so well. I'm so proud of you, my love." His voice held the rasp of a man starved, as he settled into a rhythm.

He held your thighs up, so he could hit the deepest of your spots. "So perfect for me.. so good."

He reveled in the moans and whines of his name that tumbled from your lips like prayers. The way your form squirmed underneath him when he rolled his hips into yours.

When he adjusted you, you cried out, and he stopped in alarm. "Are you alright, darling? Are you hurting?"

"Please- Oh God, Severus, don't stop, it feels so good.." Your eyes were rolled back into your head, and your chest heaved.

So that was how it was. He'd hit your prostate for the first time.

"As you wish, my love." Just as expected, you grew louder as he started moving again.

Severus had to work hard not to increase his speed before you were ready. The way you squeezed around his cock nearly made him forget about making it last.

It wasn't long before the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around the room, his own groans and growls joining the chorus of your whimpers and cries. In the moonlight, you looked so delicious Severus almost couldn't believe he'd never done this before. Your flushed cheeks, your face lost in the throes of pleasure, your lips swollen from the earlier kissing.

Picturesque and beautiful. All of it. And Severus was beginning to feel the familiar tugging in his abdomen. He could tell that you were nearly there too, with the way you arched when he hit that spot just right.

"Are you close, my darling?" His voice was ragged and low.

"Yes," the words came out as a whimper as he kept pounding your ass.

"Then give it to me. Come for me. Show me who you belong to for the rest of our lives." He slid his hand down your arm to intertwine your fingers.

His hips moved of their own accord, slapping against yours harder and faster with each passing moment.

Severus had known he was working you up, but the way you convulsed beneath him with a scream of pleasure that sounded much like his name violently shoved him over his own peak.

He twitched inside you when he felt his milky come drip out of you. He'd really done it. Your marriage had been consolidated.

"..You did so well, my darling.. oh so well." He murmured, trying to catch his breath. When he tried to pull out, he stopped when you whined.

"...Stay. Please stay inside." Your voice was soft and broken from the scream. Severus couldn't tell you no, now could he?

"Alright, my dear." He gently maneuvered you so he could cuddle you. The two of you could clean up in the morning.

"I love you," you mumbled, curling into him.

"And I you, my darling. Rest now." He pulled you closer, and closed his eyes. Your warmth was what lulled him to sleep.

He made a silent note to thank Minerva when he saw her next, and promptly fell asleep with you in his arms.

#severus snape #severus snape x male reader #severus snape x gn reader #severus snape x reader

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simplygyuu · 2 years

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Cookies - Beomgyu x gender neutral!reader

synopsis ! : After a hard day at work Beomgyu comes home and gets showered with the love and attention he deserves.. plus a plate of cookies :)

notes : reverse comfort, hurt/comfort, gyu crybaby era, i love gyu

wc : 1887

my friend @ddenoudepression made another version of the same idea !!

her version! (read after mine tho keke😝)

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The minute you saw Beomgyu walk through the door you knew he must have had a bad day. He had come in with his head hanging low, slowly toeing off his shoes and hanging his jacket up. His hair wasn't very long per say, but the way his head hung covered his eyes and all you saw was the line his lips were pressed into.

“Welcome back! How'd it go, babe?” You asked either way, walking over to the doorway so you could greet him properly. You had a clue that it probably wasn't any good news, but it didn't hurt to ask. Maybe he'd open up to you.

“Oh. They rejected it.” Beomgyu simply responded, sounding absolutely devastated and plain tired as he hung up his keys. “Now I need to start fresh.. I don't even know what to write.”

“Oh, I'm sorry Gyu. I know how hard you worked on that.” You frowned, feeling the sadness with him. You had watched him slave over that rough draft of a book for months. He had been nervous if not a bit excited to submit it today. You decided to lean forward and pull him into a hug, rubbing his back gently. He was taller than you so it was a bit awkward but comfortable anyways. After a few years of dating you were used to it by now.

“I tried so hard to get that one accepted yn and he just stomped all over my hard work.” Beomgyu cried softly and you felt your heart squeeze painfully. You used your thumbs to wipe away the tears under his eyes with an understanding look.

“I know baby, I know. Let it out, yeah?” You coaxed him carefully, leaning forward to press a gentle peck to his lips before hugging him once again. Just like you said Beomgyu let himself cry, laying his head down on your shoulder despite the bit of difficulty and wrapping his arms around you.

You had come to realize not long into your relationship that Beomgyu cried a lot. There was nothing bad about that, if anything it made you feel better knowing he trusted you enough to be so vulnerable. That also meant you've figured out some of the best ways to raise his spirits. You held each other until Beomgyu eventually pulled away on his own accord, wiping away the leftover wetness from his tears.

“I'm gonna go shower and get ready for bed.. wanna watch a movie when im done?” Beomgyu offered quietly, rubbing his hand up and down your waist gently. Nothing about it was suggestive, he was truly just a touchy person.

“Of course! Why don't you take a bath it'll be some self care time, hmm? Just relax and I can massage your shoulders later.” You offered, planning on a way to make him feel better. You wanted to bake him cookies, knowing he always loved when you made him anything but it was hard to surprise him with something so time consuming. “I know your achy, old man shoulders need it.” You teased with a smile.

Beomgyu let out a small huff of laughter, beginning to smile again as he playfully rolled his eyes. It was relieving to see him smiling again. Sure his eyes were still a bit red, his cheeks and nose now dawning a dusty red tint and a bit of reflective wetness left on his cheeks, but the small smile made up for it all.

“Okay, okay.” Beomgyu gave in with a smile. “Just know I'll be taking my sweet, precious time.” He chuckled before leaning forward to give you a sweet kiss on the lips before finally letting you go and disappearing down the hallway.

You waited until he slipped into your shared bathroom and closed the door before rushing over to the kitchen with a smile. Quickly you began to pull out all of the things you would need to bake cookies. Hopefully if you made this quick you'd finish before he noticed what you were up to.

You admittedly weren't the best baker ever, honestly you never got the chance to bake often. But you used to bake with your friends and knew a thing or two. You had cookies pretty much memorized, you only hoped you'd be able to pull it off now a few years later.

You began preheating the oven, fluttering around the kitchen easily. You knew the room like the back of your hand having lived here with Beomgyu for two years now.

It was much easier to move around and bake with Beomgyu distracted. He tended to like messing with you while you cooked, following you around and hugging you from behind. He would always just laugh as you complained about not being able to move enough, usually not letting up on his hold on you.

Sometimes though he would just follow you like a lost puppy, peeking over your shoulder to see what you were doing and what you were making. It caused you to bump into him a lot. Usually it ended in you banishing him to another room or you giving him something to do in the kitchen so he'd stay in one spot.

In the shy of twenty minutes it took for you to set everything up, make the dough, and wait for the oven to preheat, Beomgyu had yet to leave the bathroom. The time passed quickly since you were so occupied, so it honestly wasn't too bad.

In no time you were popping the cookies into the oven and setting a timer, smiling as it seems you've pulled off the surprise. Right afterwards though, you heard the click of the bathroom door opening. You peeked around the corner of the hallway to see Beomgyu walking out, a towel wrapped around his waist as he used another to aggressively scrub at his wet hair.

You paused for a second, just admiring him with wide eyes. Despite your five years together you still couldn't get over how hot he was. Sure he was usually a pretty sweet, cuddly boyfriend but god was he hot when he wanted to be. Beomgyu then turned his head to make eye contact with you, raising an eyebrow before realizing you were staring at him.

“Like what you see?” He teased, winking at you playfully before walking off to your bedroom so he could put on some clothes. You just felt your face heat up out of embarrassment and really just because of how attractive he was. Honestly, you really won the lottery with him.

Shaking your head at yourself you made your way into the living room to start setting up a movie like you had promised Beomgyu. You checked the timer on your phone, seeing that there were about eight minutes left. That was enough time.

You easily went through the familiar motions of setting up a movie, you two had frequent movie nights together. You also would watch shows together even if the other wasn't very interested. You decided to wait for Beomgyu before picking something. It would be best if he picked after having a bad day.

Once Beomgyu reappeared and made his way over to the couch you smiled up at him, scooting over so there was enough room next to you. He immediately flopped down next to you, an arm over your shoulder as he leaned into you as touchy as ever.

“Have you picked anything?” He asked, glancing over at you.

“Nope, I'm letting you pick tonight. You better remember this forever ‘cause I'm never gonna be this generous ever again.” You replied back cheekily, handing the remote over to him.

“Thank you oh so much my dearest yn.. how will I ever repay you?” Beomgyu played along with a chuckle, taking the remote that was handed to him.

“Hmmm,” You pretended to think, leaning into his side and resting your head on his shoulder. “Start by feeling better tonight and then we'll see.”

Beomgyu looked at you with that fond smile on his face, just nodding at you with a laugh before focusing back on the tv. Once he looked away, you felt a buzzing in your pocket making you realize that must be the cookies. Beomgyu glanced over at the sound and you faked a sheepish smile.

“Hold on, I'll make it quick.” You promised, pretending it was an important phone call before slipping back into the kitchen. As quietly as you could manage you pulled the cookies out of the oven and transferred them onto a plate. You couldn't help the soft hiss that left you since they were still hot but that was okay, that meant they would be good. You also quickly got a glass of milk for Beomgyu, knowing by now that that's how he preferred it.

Finally you walked back into the living room, Beomgyu looking over once he realized you were coming back before his eyes zeroed in on the plate of cookies you held in one hand and the glass of milk in the other.

“Surprise! I wanted to cheer you up and I know you like cookies.” You said as you walked in, setting the plate down on the coffee table in front of Beomgyu. He had yet to speak yet, just watching you with wide eyes. Despite his silence you couldn't bring yourself to feel nervous. Worst case scenario he said he wasn't hungry.

“You.. you made these just ‘cause I was sad?” Beomgyu finally asked and you immediately responded with a happy nod. With a soft hum you carefully choose a smaller cookie before blowing on it a bit and then dipping it into the glass of milk.

“Aaa~” You playfully said, holding the cookie up to Beomgyus mouth with your other hand underneath it to keep the milk from dripping. You enjoyed taking care of him on bad days like this. He easily accepted the cookie, leaning forward a bit to take one of his signature small bites. What you didn't expect was to see tears well up in his eyes once again.

“What's wrong, Gyu? Why are you crying? Don't cry..” You were a bit alarmed, setting down the cookie to wipe away the tears under his eyes yet again.

“No, no im.. im happy. I can't believe you cooked these just for me.. how did you even manage that.” Beomgyu delved into a wet laugh at the end of his sentence, sniffling again. He was so endearing.

“Oh, you worried me you dummy.” You giggled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss onto his forehead before sitting down next to him on the couch and pulling the table a bit closer to you two. He just chuckled with you, the two of you leaning into each other once you sat down.

“So, did you pick something out yet?” You asked while picking up a cookie of your own, watching Beomgyu lift up his abandoned one from earlier.

“Yeah! It's this movie about…”

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notes ! : i hope you enjoyed this.. i liked writing it :)

replies and reposts are super motivating and appreciated !!

general taglist ! : @squiishymeow @beomnioa @jwnghyuns @ddenoudepression

if youd like to be added to my permanent taglist send me a message or an ask!!

#beomgyu #tommorow x together #txt #txt beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu #kpop #beomgyu fluff #txt smau #beomgyu x y/n #beomgyu ff #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fic #fluff #txt fluff #cute #beomgyu angst #simplygyuu

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antichristual · 11 months

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a small fic request: some fluff about Papa IV. pairing can be reader insert / one of the ghouls / OC or platonic relationship is okay, too. maybe a birthday fic would be nice...? 😊 thank you in advance if you will write this 🧡

HELLO ANON🫂 !!! this is my first time doing this, im squealing over the fact that people actually sent in requests..literally so sorry it took me so long to post this, i wrote it like two days after you sent this in and then i just never posted it cuz i didnt like it at the time, i think it okay now though, so here you go! also im not sure if this was for your birthday, but if it is then happy birthday :3 most likely very late

You had been part of the ministry for years now, working alongside Sister Imperator, making sure all of the pieces of the tours stayed on track. Keeping them all together was hard work, and it had slowly taken a toll on you. Sometimes the looming idea of another long day amongst ratty organisers felt like carrying a bag of bricks on your shoulders. You were some hardy earthen clay, but this much going on in your head was a hydraulic press.

It had been a rough day, Sister had said it herself as she sipped on a random cup of coffee she had laying across your planning table. You didn’t know how she did it, keeping all of it in and still making such a wonderful outcome. She had kept you in late today, for some odd reason. All the work was done, you’d already stacked all the maps and papers and booking files for the next tour together in one, intimidating pile. Every time you tried to leave though, she would call you back to look over very random things.

“How does this email look? I want it to be perfect.” Sister Imperator mumbled timidly, with a strangely still smile, like she was keeping a terrible secret to herself. Everybody knew she had the most pristine email skills in the world. It should’ve been criminal how that woman could get anyone under her thumbs with the click of send or a meek phone call. Of course though, you nodded and returned to the table. Leaning down, you ignored the crimp ache in your back and read through the— as expected— incredibly well written message. It was condensed but not lacking what it needed. Simple, quick, effective. That was how she rolled, and she executed it with a clean cut every time.

“It’s…fine, Sister.” You replied after a quick pause, holding a heavy drawl in your voice. It was your birthday, for hell’s sake, and all you’d done all day was work. Your eyes hurt, your spine feels twisted and damn…how does your right leg go half numb? Don’t get it wrong, you loved your job; and you didn’t blame anyone for having you labour on your special day. You were just tired, and yearning for your comforting bed in the abbey.

Sister Imperator closed her laptop with a swift hand, the screen coming down across the keyboard silently. A look of sympathy flashed in her eyes, followed with a sparkle of guilt, almost as if she were hiding something from you. “I’m sorry for keeping you in, you know how this gets.” Her hand waved sluggishly over the table. Following her gesture you pondered over her words, eyes fogging over briefly.

“I do, Sister. It’s not a problem. Um…” You looked sideways hesitantly, your bag hanging limp over your shoulder. “Is that all?”

She opened her mouth quickly to say something, and your knees drew somehow more magnetically drawn to the floor at the idea of her proposing another task. In a split moment, her lips sealed.

Sister’s eyes dashed to the doorway behind you, and a riveting smile dashed across her face. Satan, she looked so excited you half assumed you’d turn around and see the anti-christ himself waltzing in with a pretty bouquet of wild roses. Your feet dragged against the floor as you spun to face the door. You were seriously contemplating popping out to go to the store, and maybe grabbing a nice treat so you could at least get yourself something nice on your day. Almost immediately— after your sleepy head processed the sight in the doorway— a sweet warmth bubbled in your chest.

Copia stood there in his usual zip-up jumper, lazy sweatpants underneath, and the most gorgeously handmade cake ever in his palms. Weakly lit candles burned in the middle, lighting up the cute piped icing around the edge. You swayed on your feet with the soft mellow melting down your heavy limbs.

“Happy birthday!” He blurted awkwardly, removing one hand..dangerously..from the cake to make jazz hands…jazz hand? You just stood there, eyes wide and fatigued, a pure smile tugging helplessly at your lips. Copia shuffled forward to put the small cake on the table before he shucked his hands to his hips, a little proud expression over his usual.

#the band ghost #ghost band #ghost copia #copia #papa copia #copia emeritus #papa emeritus iv #the band ghost fanfiction #i dont know how to tag fics #hehe i referenced antichrist copia #antichrist copia propaganda #ghulehma

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

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HELLOOO i am SO TIRED today was another not great day (emotionally, daddy issues amirite) BUT IT'S OKAY BC THE FAMOUS BONESANDTHEBEES UPDATED GLASS AND IT WAS AMAIZNGGG

It was not what i was expecting at all omg there was so much sandduo... so much i wanted to cry and scream but alas i couldn't so i just aggressively keysmashed at my friend instead

We got a NAME REVEALLL FINALYYDJSSOODJF GOGUOGGUFOGIPSDIDOFODJGKGF EXPLODES SBI MAKE ME SO ILL SO SO ILL OGUGODIFISIEJFJFKSJSKFKD can phil and techno adopt me pls they are sosososofogisjskf<3333 explodes again

That whole scene fucked me up so bad it was so good im shdfkdhsflfkz<33 i love them i love them sooo bad im ejflfjskflfjdj<33

Tbh i am now pre curious about the tntduo scene... mayhaps i Will dm to see it

Ough Tommy's reaction hurt me so bad they are so brothers and they are in it together for better or for worse im gonna cry i am so scared bee ohkvydo

My jaw DROPPED when they revealed the plan i was like "aint no way theyre about to say what i think theyre gonna say" they DID im so scared this is like . Stars level fear i cannot imagine this is going to go well ohkyfuckingofdkajddjffjff

It's so interesting that like the moment Wilbur officially says he doesn't want to be the Pythia anymore, he's gonna have to be thrown back into that position omg it's gonna be so traumatising for him i am so so scared plsss the only thing keeping me sane is that u pre much always write happy endings bc literally . Istg the odds DO NOT look good ohkgudo

Shoutout to rainduo their friendship means so much to me

I gotta bookmark this chapter too to reread it was ssoodosososooo lovely your writing is always sososododoo comforting i love it sm bee youre genuinely sososososo cooll

Sorry this ask wasnt as long (or maybe that's a good thing lmaoo) but i hope ur having a nice day!! I really enjoyed the chapter :D

awww I'm sorry you had a bit of a rough day but I'm glad my update can help cheer you up!!

LOL YEAH when I was writing it i knew you were gonna love the sandduo. it's one of the most important chapters for sandduo in the entire fic

the name reveal was SO stressful to write just bc I wanted to make sure it came across exactly how I wanted it to. but I'm very happy with how it turned out :) it's such a high-strung emotional scene and I had to balance so much with the dialogue but it was worth it in the end

yuppp that's certainly A Plan they're going to do. this can only end well 🙃

yup! as soon as wilbur finally accepts that he doesn't want to be the pythia, he has to get thrown back into it. in a way it's only fitting. he wanted to go back for so long, but he can only go back once he's hit a new kind of self-actualization. now he might be going back into a very bad situation for him, but he's progressed so much he's better equipped to deal with it than he would've been had he gone back earlier. at least that's what you gotta hope.

this means so much to hear I'm very glad my writing is so comforting to you <33

and yes I had a very nice day thank you for asking :)

#ask #icyfox17 #glass ch 25

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bumblebeerror · 2 years

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My teeth hurt sometimes, just. In general. They’ve done this a while now, mostly when the weather changes. It starts in my jaw and creeps up my teeth until I can’t chew very well because I don’t want to move my jaw or put pressure on my teeth. It also means sleeping’s difficult, and just. Most things weirdly become a lot more difficult when you don’t want to chew. My jaw’s been like this for a week or so now? I think. I mostly don’t notice it starting until sleeping gets harder.

Anyway, all that to say it’s been a Rough day when it comes to my body and brain working correctly. I woke up when I usually do, took my adhd meds, and then fell asleep for another three hours. I streamed today after talking with some friends, and about a hour after my two hour stream, I just hit a wall. I’m already tired enough to go back to sleep now. Everything is shaky and tender and it’s… such a slap in the face. Sometimes.

Especially because I don’t register pain like this. It doesn’t occur to my brain to interpret it that way. I get tired, I feel pressure more sharply, but I don’t feel pain unless I stop to check in. So if you asked me today what I was feeling… I’d tell you Im tired. I’d tell you I feel shaky and maybe kind of feverish, that my legs dont want to work at any faster pace. I’d tell you my body feels weak and that my neck and head ache, because that’s about the only pain on me that’s sharp, that changes, that waxes and wanes.

And at some point today I finally registered that I was feeling pain. That my hands are shaking because every nerve in them is sending a constant signal. My arms feel heavy and my legs feel wobbly and my joints feel unstable because every nerve is sending a message I can’t read. Its kind of funny, in a way - if I stop focusing on reading that message as pain, it stops registering that way again. Like Francis Freeman, the villian in the first Deadpool movie? One of his powers is not feeling pain.

I’m not sure what my point here really is? I don’t share often, and I don’t enjoy being pitied. I don’t want to feel like someone who needs saving. Your princess is in another castle, all that. I just wanted it written. I keep hitting dead ends and my pcp doesn’t know how to help me. I can’t get disability and I can’t work enough to support myself, so I don’t have much of s choice on whether I stay with my mum - and she can’t afford to pay for my car. And I can feel my body degrading, even if I don’t look at the hours I used to be capable of. I used to work nearly 40hrs a week closing s daycare, keeping up with kids and cleaning the place. Then 25, cleaning a clinic. Now I work 8 cleaning an office, and can’t afford gas to get there. I won’t lie, if I let myself think about it too long, it gets frightening.

I don’t know. I hate dwelling on things I can’t fix, and I loathe feeling sorry for myself. If I can’t make a joke about it, I don’t want to deal with it. But a part of me also doesn’t want what’s happening to me to be forgotten. A part of me wants a record. A part of me wants to be convinced that I’m not… insane? That I’m not faking it, somehow, that I’m actually in pain that I can’t feel anymore. That other people don’t feel this way all the time. That what people told me as a kid, dismissed, that it’s wrong. That they didn’t know I was feeling something bad.

I wish school had taught us practical things. Like how much pain the average non-ill person is every day (none). To this day I still pose questions about it to one of my friends who has an old shoulder injury but no widespread issues like this, just to check.

Ive rambled enough, I think. I’m gonna shower and sleep. Have a good timezone, if you decided to read all that for some reason.

#i am only asking you to not call me an inspiration #if you think you’d rather die than be me kindly be inspired to help fix the bullshit I have to go thru to get treated for anything #bumble rumbles

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sarah-dipitous · 2 years

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 82

Jump the Shark

"Jump the Shark"

Plot Description: A 19 year old boy named Adam calls Sam and Dean looking for John Winchester; the boy claims to be his son.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: If there's one thing I've learned in nearly four full seasons, don't fuck a Winchester. You're gonna die. So, I think I'm good.

This week's run of episodes has been buck wild. I mean, we got backstory, pure angst, astral projection, one of the BEST and most DRAMA FILLED episodes I've seen, alternate universe, meeting god, and now secret family member. I feel like I'm just WATCHING ao3. There's one thing missing (this being Supernatural and all), but I'M not missing it.

Oh they got the back window of the impala fixed. Dean's having the ROUGHEST of mornings. He didn't look this rough CRAWLING OUT OF THE GRAVE.

I LOVE how skeptical Dean is. You really can't be too careful. At the same time, everything being presented as evidence that Adam is telling the truth, and Dean's just dismissing it as coincidence...you've never done that before, babe. The daddy issues are so fucking strong in this one. I should know, I specialize in characters with daddy issues

NO I'M NOT FUCKING CRYING. I'm not crying because Adam got the dad who took him to BASEBALL GAMES. They might not have been close while Adam was growing up, but the moment John knew about Adam's existence, he dropped EVERYTHING (*cough his other sons but really mostly Dean because Sam was in college doing his own thing cough*) to go meet him. It might not have been the perfect parent-child relationship and it was probably still fairly distant, but it's a hell of a lot more than Dean got. (Did Horikoshi watch Supernatural before writing MHA? Did he see this and go "I could do a family drama like this") John made it to Adam's birthdays but Dean had to steal Christmas presents so Sam would have something to open...I'M GONNA FUCKING SCREAM AND THEN BEAT JOHN WITH A BAT IN HELL. ALISTAIR WON'T HAVE TIME TO TORTURE ME, I'D HOP OFF THAT RACK TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF JOHN WINCHESTER IM-FUCKING-MEDIATELY.

God, Dean, petty is a good look on you, I swear. Adam's just finding out that a whole lot of movie and mythological monsters and creatures are real, and your only comment is that Godzilla is just a movie.

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, sorry, I'm having so many big feelings about Dean today. He's so furious at John. He's so disgusted that Adam had the relationship with John that Dean had for a short time, til he was four, and it was ripped away from him. That was the relationship HE wanted, that HE deserved to have, and he did EVERYTHING TO HOPEFULLY MAKE HIS DAD PROUD OF HIM, followed in EVERY SINGLE FOOT STEP. BUT JOHN NEVER WAS. JOHN ONLY EVER SAW DEAN'S MISTAKES. IT'S HOW DEAN KNEW AZAZEL WAS POSSESSING JOHN BECAUSE HE FORGAVE DEAN'S MISTAKE AND DIDN'T MAKE IT A BIG DEAL. BUT DEAN'S STILL DOING IT by protecting Adam. By saying "Dad didn't want our lives for Adam, and I'm going to keep it that way." Aren't you tired of being nice, Dean? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?

(It's going to take me so long to get through this episode if I keep stopping to make Dean/Touya parallels.)

What the fuck is this monster??

Oh, Sammy, you're more like your old man than you want to admit. You find out you have a little brother and it's IMMEDIATELY "let's train him to be a hunter, he needs to be ready for anything that might come after him." You would hardly believe this is the same Sam who wanted to walk away from this life, who did for a while and went to college and law school, who resented John for making their lives like this.

Oh, but at the same time...at the same time he thinks he's just being like Dean was for him. Doing what he can to look out for him, offering praise when he does something well...his insistence that Adam join in is very John but his approach to teaching Adam is all Dean

Sam. No. John did not do right by you boys. I can't believe you're saying this...Ugggghhhhhh, Sam wants to drag Adam down into the hell that is their lives because his chance at that got ruined. But Dean wants to give Adam the chance that got taken from Sam.

Y'all are both jealous of him...stop lying to yourselves.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. WHAT??? HOW LONG HAS ADAM NOT BEEN ADAM??? Oh...it was the whole time...cool.

So, what term DO you prefer, ma'am?

Did...did ya get that out of your system for another couple seasons, Dean? First Baby took a beating after John died, now you beat in the head of the ghoul who pretended to be the little brother you didn't know you had...What's to come near the end of season six? (Aside from my favorite Cas-centric episode)

THAT'S WHAT I SAID, DEAN!!!!! "you know why you and dad butted heads so much? you're practically the same person" and "you're more like him than I'll ever be" (derogatory)

"Been On My Mind...": No. 8...???

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023 #we're having todosibs feelings about the winchesters in a BIG way today #john winchester is a F.I.L.T.H.

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elytrafemme · 2 years

Note

you've talked about switching a lot recently but i've only just now been able to sit down and give my own little account 👍 yippie 🎉

however tbh if you're like "i'm donee talking about this tehehe" throw this ask out the window. shatter the glass for fun either way

anyways!! switching is so freaking funky, especially recently for us because it's been a lot of blurry and stressful switches.. probably due to midterms season? not too sure but also it's october so the mind is becoming full bonkers mode ya know

anyways, for us switches can either be super obvious or just go completely under the radar. there's no i between, and the easier the switch is, the less likely we are to like register that one happened.

well, specifically me because i have a tendency to stay around in co con a lot. when someone switches into co con with me it's usually pretty smooth, and fast, being brought about by very like random things. a song or an image or maybe how someone worded something! ya know

anyways, longer and more difficult switches which can get really rough. i think it's just, we have a really hard time with someone going from not in or near front just coming in full swing. that and also just needing to get someone out and they don't want to be.

but longer switches usually cause us to get really tired and dizzy (and usually an assortment of varying kinds of dissociative) and there's a weird like mental sensation almost like being dragged under into a swamp or being buried in pillows? it's like brain fog turned up an extreme amount

but there's on occasional full switch without all of that, but those are few and far i between. usually these are like zoning out but like for 10 minutes. like a shut down and reboot bust someone else hit the power on button ig.

actually tbh we see a lot of your system things in a very like computer sorta since?? we have a memory/trauma holder who like will create like "firewalls" to block information and sometimes even like shut down a chess to leave/get into front. it's kinda funny now that i'm thinking about it, the whole computer theming

anyways it's also important to note that we have an awful time of realizing who's in front until there's something very distinctly that alter that gets thought/done. that could be due to the heavy mental ick for a past bit, but it also might be a general thing. in fairness we haven't been tracking too long so it's hard to say.

however all around it's like... we struggle finding the queues as to who's in front, especially cuz i am usually there co con and conducting what like i think is best sorta thing. but hm yea i'm loosing the point i'm trying to say to sleepy soupy brain. anyways

i hope you are doing well! and if not that you are able to find contentment soon! i hope today will be a good day, because you deserve it!

HEY ITS BEEN A BIT SINCE U SENT THIS SRRY im having another lunarbloom nightmare switch moments so this is relevant once more and in fact probably will always be relevant bc this is lik daily fdshk

okay i had never thought about it like that as like. the easier the switch the less likely its noticeable. because im thinking now like there have been a lot of times where i abruptly start acting different but dont remember switching but maybe i did? but its just seamless. hm

handshake u and me being hosts that frequent co conning

OH INTERESTING !! despite being a pretty brain foggy individual i dont notice a tonnn of brain fog when i swtich so that is really interesting to note :o plus the synonyms u use those r so interesting

haunted by the metaphors and symbolism <- assigned computer at system

sorry if this is like all over the place as a response but overall this is so so interesting ty for sharing :O always interesting to see how ppl switch since it varies sm!

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.system #sleepy anon ☁️#long post

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hwaflms · 3 years

Text

uno! ★ [k.ys]

{ ✉ } 1 new message from yeo <3 : tell that dumbass to move his hand before i move it for him.

[☆] pairing. jealous!yeosang x f!reader

[☆] genre. smut + angst + fluff | established relationship, pwp if we're being honest

[☆] wc. 6.8k

[☆] warnings. explicit content (mdni), hard dom!yeosang, bratty sub!reader (sort of), fingering, expilicit language, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it besties), use of words like 'slut', pussy slapping (like once), degradation, slight dumbification, spanking, choking (kind of), spit play, oral (mainly f receiving), rough/jealous sex, slight manhandling, dirty talk, yeosang is a lil mean, edging, orgasm control, creampie, slight overstim if you squint, i think that's it– sorry if i missed any!!

[☆] notes. naur cuz why did tumblr ruin the quality of my header :/ anyways, longest fic yet mfs !!! im pretty sure this is going to change in like a day, but i think i kinda actually like this one D: pls pls pls give me feedback in the comments/through asks/tags or reblog it, i would rlly appreciate it >:(

"shut up, i know you have like 7 cards up your ass right now!", shouts san at a poor mingi who sat cross-legged on the floor, having just innocently yelled out an enthusiastic "uno!" and was now being accused of foul play. you laugh along with them at mingi's expense, their rather brash sense of humour being something you're very used to.

"up yours, san", mingi flips him off in return, completely unaware of a sneaky jongho who had just taken a peak at his last card and was now spreading the information regarding the colour of it to those sitting around him.

your boyfriend, who was sat directly across you in the small circle the nine of you had created, gives you a look, one you knew all too well– he was getting tired of the game. in all fairness, you had been playing for a very long time now and you would have been done a while ago if not for san and wooyoung making up sixty different rules, all targeted towards the downfall of mingi who had to pick up what seemed like seventy cards but had now somehow managed to play all of them but one, much to their dismay.

when you and yeosang had first began dating, you had only met a couple of his friends, and even that was just the casual introduction and the odd, occasional wave as you saw each other when you came to visit yeosang in their dorm.

honestly speaking, you were initially glad that you didn't see much of his friends. you knew that the longer you were with yeosang, the more of them you'd have to meet, and this was a thought that made you nervous.

your apprehension didn't stem from a wrongdoing of theirs, no, it came from a insecure place in your mind that told you that your boyfriend's best friends would hate you. it was a rather irrational fear, because what reason would they really have to hate you? nevertheless, you were slowly introduced to all seven of them over the course of time, and your fears quickly dissipated when you saw his friends for what they really were– a bunch of crazy but loveable guys.

you managed to get along very well with all of them eventually, and now you were basically an "accepted member" of their group. that would explain why you were sat in their dorm for more than two hours playing a card game with the eight of them, instead of spending time alone with your boyfriend like you had originally intended to. the second you walked through the door, you were bombarded with greetings and hugs, and then forced into this highly competitive game of uno that was taking way longer to end than necessary.

the only real problem was wooyoung. at least, to yeosang that was the only problem. for some weird and very irritating reason, wooyoung was acting extra flirty with you today. it was not entirely strange because he tended to be a more touchy and affectionate person, that was his way of showing his love for someone, platonic or not. usually, that was fine, but yeosang wasn't liking exactly how much love wooyoung seemed to be showing for you on this day. in reality, wooyoung was probably just being friendly, maybe just in a slightly over-the-top way, but yeosang really didn't see it like that.

"okay, mingi's card is yellow, don't let him win", wooyoung cheekily whispers into your ear, making you turn to face him but then flinch back at the close proximity in which his face was to you. from the corner of your eye, you can see yeosang narrow his eyes at wooyoung but you smile nonetheless, nodding in agreement before adding your "change the colour" card to the pile and deciding on blue, to which mingi lets out a frustrated groan and leans over to pick up a card.

the raven-haired boy sitting next to you seemed very impressed by this, tilting his head back and basically roaring with laughter before slinging his arm around you in a friendly, celebratory manner and pulling you in for a short side hug. "i knew i could count on you." yeosang doesn't view the action in the completely platonic way that you do because he knows his face was a little too close to yours for it to be entirely friendly, yet he lets it slide when the boy lets go of you, but not before glowering at him, possibly trying to catch his eye but he never does.

"it's all fun and games until she gets to beat you", hongjoong calls out to wooyoung after playing his turn, inclining his head pointedly towards you. "and she probably will, seeing as she just eyeballed your cards when you hugged her." wooyoung turns to glare at you with an exaggerated look of betrayal on his face, placing his hand over his chest with a sputter.

"i thought...i thought we were a team", he utters indignantly, shielding his cards from your view by clutching them closer to his body so as to make a point. "we aren't a team, this is a competition", you announce with a mischievous smile, playing your reverse card and smirking at him, now knowing exactly what to do if you wanted him out.

"okay y/n, i see how it is", he mutters, holding his cards with one hand and bringing the other one to poke at your side multiple times, causing giggles to erupt from you at the feeling. you smacked at his hands, trying to get away from them but ever the persistent, he continues his torture on you. well, that was until yeosang decided to finally speak up.

"okay, that's enough, stop playing with my girlfriend and play your card instead", he remarks in an annoyed voice, which mind you, did not entirely deter wooyoung as his hands paused and returned to the game but not without mouthing "this isn't over" to you with a playful scowl. he seemed blissfully oblivious to the menacing glare he was receiving from yeosang, who's eyes turned a little softer when his gaze landed upon you. "sorry", you mouth to him with a wince, to which he shakes his head with a small smile.

the game continues on until seonghwa thrusts his fist in the air in triumph as he all but throws his last card on the pile and wins the game, to which yeosang lets out a very long and very excessive sigh, stretching his arms in the air as he goes to put his cards down since he believed the game finally came to an end, most of the others following suit.

"woah woah, where are you guys going?", san protests, raising his arms in a confused motion. "um, seonghwa won, the game is over?", you reply unsurely, stretching your own sore muscles. you see most people nod their heads in agreement, except san and wooyoung, and jongho, who grimaces with a shrug.

"the game isn't over yet, we have to play until there's only one person left", wooyoung argues with a pout. "c'mon, you can't leave now."

"what? we've been playing for so long, shut up", yeosang objects, standing up in protest. jongho shakes his head and makes an apologetic face as he motions for everyone to sit back down. "we always play until there's a last person. it's how the game works", he states, rolling his head and cracking his knuckles.

"are you fucking serious...", yeosang starts but trails off when he sees everyone else getting back into their previous positions, giving in and following them with a sigh. "okay, who's turn was it?", yunho asks wearily and the game begins once again.

you smile secretly, because you know yeosang just wants to go to his room and watch a show, maybe take a nap, not sit on the floor and play an unbearably long card game with his rowdy friends. he spent all day with them- hell, he lived with them for goodness sake, he really just wanted to cuddle in bed with you for an hour or two. shame, he'd have to wait a little longer.

two more rounds were completed, and you were starting to really feel bad for mingi, who had no hope of winning. every time he forgot to shout 'uno!' at a moderately loud volume, he was made to pick up 10 cards, and now he had so many that he wasn't even bothered to hide his cards from everyone's view, instead laying them out on the floor in front of him so he could sort them out.

"i vote we skip mingi's turn every time from now on", wooyoung quipped when he was taking a little too long to find the card he wanted to play, ignoring the aforementioned boy's shouts of disapproval, teasingly signaling towards san to play his turn.

"don't be mean, woo", you laughed, helping mingi pick a card to play out of his wide spread of options by pointing at one, making him smile brightly in gratitude.

"i'm not mean, just practical", he countered with a grin, sending a wink in mingi's direction, to which he received his second middle finger of the day in return, then turning to pat your knee while he talks. he unconsciously leaves his hand there, continuing the game without batting an eye. yeosang's watchful eyes manage to zero in on this miniscule action, softly scoffing at the audacity his friend had to be so touchy with his girlfriend in front of him.

first, he had to sit uncomfortably on the floor for hours playing a simple card game when he was supposed to be spending time with you. second, he now had to watch his friend, unknowingly or knowingly, he didn't know and frankly, didn't care, sit and flirt with you.

wooyoung, still clueless as ever, was soon baited into going off on a tangent about the authenticity of the rules of the game when hongjoong tried to help mingi by questioning some of them (some of the so-called "rules" were a little fishy sounding, because you couldn't remember ever needing to pick up cards until you got a green one if you played two sevens in a row). caught up his vivid citations of the rules of the card game, his hand remained on your knee, fingers unknowingly tapping your bare skin and playing with the thread hanging from the tear in your ripped jeans.

in the midst of laughing at the situation, you feel a sudden vibration against your thigh, then realizing it was your phone buzzing in your pocket so you fish it out, the screen lighting up in order to show you the new message.

yeo <3: tell that dumbass to move his hand before i move it for him.

you look up from your phone screen immediately to make eye contact with yeosang, who's eyes were trained angrily on wooyoung's finger that was innocently circling the skin of your knee, then flicking to yours. with a slightly sarcastic smile, you give him a look as if to say "really?", before sighing and moving to pick wooyoung's hand up and off of your leg.

you clasped his hand in yours, placing it onto his own thigh, but to no avail as wooyoung only absentmindedly intertwined your hands and continued to rant about the necessity of his severe punishments to mingi, blissfully unaware of the literal death glare he was receiving from yeosang.

"okay, that's it", he mutters angrily but it's loud enough for everyone to stop what they were doing and look at him, and he shoots up from his spot and makes his way to you. he scoops you up in his arms with ease and throws you over his shoulder while you let out a squeal, effectively ripping your hand from wooyoung's loose grasp. ignoring the gasps and protests from his friends, he simply grips you a little tighter and walks out of the room, navigating his way to a very specific bedroom.

"yeo", you exclaimed breathlessly, still a little surprised by the way he so effortlessly picked you up and carried you like you were a little rag doll, tapping at his back to get his attention. "w-where are you going? your bedroom's that way–"

you don't get to finish your sentence because yeosang delivers a sharp smack to your ass, eliciting a tiny cry from you. "i know where my bedroom is", he snaps, placing his hand back on your ass and splaying his fingers, rubbing at the stinging area soothingly. "no, we're going somewhere else", with a smirk plastered on his face, he enters wooyoung's bedroom, all but tossing you on the bed.

you let out a small "oof" when you land on the unfamiliar mattress, yeosang standing by the foot of the bed with his hands perched on the frame while he looks at you so primitively, almost like he wants to devour you. you wouldn't be surprised or bothered if he does– quite the contrary, in fact.

maybe a second or two pass of you and your boyfriend just surveying each other, your lips parted and chest heaving while he looks more calm and collected, but his eyes are a dead giveaway; while he may look composed, you know the very distinct look in his eye, it's one that contains not-so-hidden desire and want.

he crawls towards you, sitting up on his knees when he reaches you so that he towers over your leaning figure, tucking his finger under your chin and jerking your head up to look at him in the eye. you let a sultry smile grace your features, feeling your insides twist and turn in all sort of ways at the thought of yeosang fucking you in wooyoung's room to prove a point.

typically, yeosang was not an overly jealous boyfriend. he actually liked the fact that you got along with his friends, he liked seeing you chat and laugh with them, the sight so natural that it let yeosang feel like you would be a constant in his life.

maybe it was the insufferably long card game– card games were not exactly his cup of tea, and it was possible that the uncomfortable position he had to sit in and endure for so long led to him being a little cranky.

maybe it was because he barely got to spend any time with you today– your attention was occupied by his flatmates the second you entered his dorm, and then you were whisked away into playing a stupid game with them before you could so much as give him a kiss.

yeosang didn't know for sure, but maybe it was a combination of all these things that led to the emerging of the rarely active green monster. seeing you laugh at wooyoung's lame jokes and watching him place his hand on your knee, hug you and then fucking going so far as to hold you hand like it was nothing– it was too much.

"what's got you all riled up?", you mumble, stroking his chest with your finger innocently while you continue to smirk up at him.

"i don't know, maybe it was sitting across from you and watching my friend be all over you when i could do nothing about it", he pipes sarcastically, pushing you down by your shoulders so that you were now lying directly under him while he hovers over you.

"he was hardly all over me", you reply with a brief eye roll, the playful glint in your eye making the corner of his mouth want to curl upwards. "oh yeah? then what was happening?", he scoffs, bringing his hand to your waist to trail it lightly up and down your side, causing you to shiver slightly. with an almost indifferent sounding sigh, you throw both your legs up and around his waist, successfully managing to pull his crotch into yours, grinding against it in a slow manner.

"ugh, i'm bored of this, can we just cut the shit so you can fuck me already?", you remark, trailing your hands up and over his shoulders, linking them around his neck while yeosang keeps his expression neutral, allowing you to continue your ministrations for the time being.

"well, now you know how i felt. did you try and appease my boredom?", he questions, hands griping your hips and holding them down forcefully, inclining his head towards you.

you could just admit that you knew yeosang thought wooyoung was flirting with you and even with this knowledge, you allowed it, because that would be the truth. you were also aware that yeosang wasn't actually mad about it, at least, he wouldn't be after he finished rearranging your insides, because you knew you boyfriend didn't get jealous much and that he was bored as fuck out there and this was the perfect opportunity to opt out of it. the added hint of jealousy he had felt at the time acted as some form of drive to fuck you better, harder.

or, you could be a little mean and continue to tease your boyfriend, playing dumb and purposefully saying things that would piss him off. after all, he did fuck better when he had something to fuck you about, remembering that the last time he got jealous and fucked you over it, you couldn't walk properly for days. weighing the two options in your head, you just had to go with the second one because, where was the fun in the first?

you knew what you were about to say would push his jealousy over the finish line, but that was exactly what you wanted.

"you know, if you're not going to fuck me, i can just go and ask wooyoung to do it instead."

"what the fuck did you just say?"

the growl he let out was almost animalistic, securing his fingers around your throat, applying pressure as he crashed his lips on to yours. the kiss was a searing hot one, full of messy tongues and clashing teeth, his soft lips pressing firmly into yours. his tongue slips into your mouth and as your mouth wraps itself onto it, he grips on to your neck, using it to control and help your lips move along the length of his tongue.

you let out a soft mewl against his mouth and his hand busies itself trying to undo your pants, tugging them down along with your underwear, wasting no time in toying with your clit. "of course you're already wet", he scorns you with a chuckle. he pulls away from your mouth and trails kisses along your jawline, harshy attaching his lips to your skin in random places, nipping and sucking at the area. you cry out at a particularly rough bite, knowing for sure that it would leave a prominent mark, but you suppose that was the entire point.

he tugs at your shirt and you comply, raising your arms so he can remove it. gazing at your covered breasts, he leans in to litter kisses all over the tops of them, sinking his teeth into the plump surface and you groan a little and let your hands bury themselves in his hair, tugging tightly at the feeling, seeing the red spot bloom when his lips are removed.

he doesn't even bother undoing your bra, he just pulls your boobs out of the cups and attaches his lips to your nipple, the force in which he sucked on it making you arch your back against his warm mouth.

"you think wooyoung can fuck this little pussy as well as me?", he all but spits the name against your boob, tongue coming out to flick rapidly against your hard nipple and delivering a rough slap to your pussy, causing you to gasp in both pain and pleasure.

"i don't know, why don't i go ask him?", you bite back, looking yeosang square in the eye with a grin until he suddenly stops playing with your cunt, lips pausing their abuse on your neck as you feel him smile against your skin.

you weren't usually so bratty, no, but you were having so much fun teasing and taunting your boyfriend that you might just start acting up more. he pulls away from your body completely despite your objections, looming over you with a dead serious expression etched on his features. "turn around. ass up", his voice was cold and demanding as he spoke his commands, urging you to do exactly what he told you to do.

he must have thought you were taking too long to place yourself in the position he wanted you to be in, because he does it for you, sighing boredly and pushing your face into the bed, gripping your hips and yanking them upwards so that you lay with your face down and ass up in the air, all for his viewing pleasure. "do you know how to count to thirty?", he asks condescendingly, rubbing his hand along the expanse of your exposed ass. you scoff and mutter a "yes" and his grips your ass, fingers digging into the flesh harshly. you hiss at the pain, trying to swat at his hands but he simply grabs both of them, holding them together behind your back with one hand, the other sliding up and down the skin of your back almost soothingly. "good to see you're not as stupid as you look. count each one."

his hand glides back down to your ass, pausing at one spot before pulling away then bringing it down sharply on to the skin, the sound of the first spank filling up the otherwise silent room. you yelp and struggle a little against his hold, but he only tightens his grasp on. "i thought i told you to count", he snaps, grabbing a fistful of your ass and squeezing the red skin, bringing a gasp out of you. "o-one", you try to say in an even voice, hoping your face remained neutral and unaffected.

he brings his hand down a second time, angling it so that his fingers slap against your ass to provide more of a sting than pain, to which you hiss but mutter a "two", knowing that this was only the beginning.

he keeps this up until you whimper out a "t-twelve", voice trembling significantly more than before, so he scoots a little further down the bed, face-to-face with your ass. he delivers a spank at the same time he licks a stripe up from your clit to your leaking hole, your face contorting and crying out from both pleasure and pain. "enough, p-please", you plead at fourteen, face and ass both a striking red hue, the latter decorated with hand marks. he tuts and places small kisses against your burning skin, delicately blowing cool air at your tender flesh. "enough? already? but we've just started", he laughs sadistically, teeth sinking into the flesh of your ass hard, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to bring tears to your eyes and to show clear marks.

you lose count along the way but yeosang doesn't really care, switching between slapping your ass to eating your pussy like a man starved, now finding amusement in driving his fingers in and out of your hole at a fast pace, enjoying the sounds of your mixed pain and pleasure. your pussy is a leaking mess, and your skin feels as if it was on fire thanks to your boyfriend's harsh punishment, one that he was loving.

"what number are we on?", he asks even though he is aware that you don't know, wanting to further push you over the edge.

"d-dont know, please– need to", you blubber incoherently, wooyoung's pillowcase soaked with your tears and spit, yeosang's hand still pushing your further into the bed with every slap.

"need to what?", he chuckles, fingering your hole while his thumb slides along your slit and toys with your abused, throbbing clit. "are you so fucked out already that you can't even talk properly?"

you whimper pathetically, making him scoff but pick up the pace of his fingers, the sounds of his fingers and your wetness so loud and dirty. you can feel your high approaching, your moans increasing in volume and pussy clenching around his fingers, alerting him of your upcoming orgasm. "gonna cum–", you gasp but you don't get to finish the sentence because you are soon wailing, the knot in your stomach tightening but you achieve no climax, yeosang pulling his fingers out of you before you can do so.

you let out a loud sob against the pillow, rolling on to your side just in time to see yeosang stick his wet fingers into his own mouth, moaning at the taste of you and sucking them dry. "aww, did the poor baby not get to cum?", he pouts in a faux sympathetic voice, the corners of his mouth pulling down into a frown. "that's because dirty little girls don't get to cum. no, my baby's been such a brat today, hasn't she?"

you shake your head weakly, hips bucking up into nothing as tears stream down your face in rivulets. "no? you haven't been a bad girl?", he questions, palming himself through his pants. you shake your head 'no' once again, eyeing the evident tent formed in his pants. "well, i disagree."

he spreads your legs apart, diving right back into your pussy, tongue swirling around your clit, pulling away just to spit right into your hole, adding to the wet mess. your clit is already highly sensitive, and when his teeth graze it lightly, you all but scream out, bucking into his mouth.

he withdraws from your sopping cunt for a bit to speak, mouth and chin glistening with your arousal. "yeah, fucking scream. let everyone know who's making you feel this good", you know who the supposed 'everyone' is, aware that it was really only directed at one singular person and at any other time you would have rolled your eyes, but given the current state you were in, all you could do was moan out into the room in response.

just like what happened a while ago, you sense your high nearing once again, this time you felt it even stronger than before, the lack of release previously making this one bound to be even more delicious. it seemed that yeosang knew your body like the back of his hand, instantly picking up on the signs indicating your approaching finish. "you wanna cum, sweetheart?", he enquires, giving out small kitten licks to your cunt, holding your somewhat spasming hips down. you nod frantically, bringing a hand down to tangle in his hair, an action he ignores for time being.

he returns to his administrations on your hypersensitive pussy, this time, enclosing his lips around your clit and sucking it into his mouth but then pulling away right before you could cum, leaving you high and dry again. the cry you let out is weak and tired, throwing an arm across you face as you sobbed into it, yeosang holding on to it and moving it away to reveal your face.

"god, look at you", he breathes in awe, taking in your appearance. "you look so fucking pretty when you cry." he marvels at your red, puffy face, taking it in between his hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs gently, the action feeling very ironic because he was the one who got you in the state to begin with. you peer up at him, all weapy and pouty and he thinks you look so fucking perfect.

looking past you and at the pillow you head rested on, his lips quirk into a smirk. "look what you've done to his pillow", he mumbles more to himself than anything, a proud look in his eye, eyes travelling over the various wet spots on his pillow and then further on the bed. "gonna fuck you from behind so that you can drool on to it."

you're past words at this point, so deprived of an orgasm and so needy that you'll take literally anything he gives you. "think i should fuck your little cunt yet? hm? think you can take it?"

you lift your head up and nod it as vehemently as you could manage, arms stretching out towards him, without the intention of actually grabbing anything. "words, baby", he orders, taking ahold of one of your hands and placing kisses on your knuckles, the feat a stark contrast to what he really wanted to do to you. the whine you release is pitiful really. you're so needy and desperate and tired that you can barely manage to move your head, and now he wants to try and piece together intelligible words?

you pull through eventually, much to his surprise. " i c-can take it, yeo. 'm a big girl", you blabber with your teary eyes ogling at him innocently, and he smiled and he caresses the side of your face with his knuckles. he trails his fingers down to your your mouth and toys and prods at your bottom lip with his thumb, eyes widening slightly when you open your mouth to suck on his thumb without him even asking you to do so, mouth engulfing it as the actions only serves to make blood rush to his cock. "yeah, you're gonna take it."

he pulls his thumb out of your mouth with a 'pop!', chuckling at the string of saliva that connected to your mouth. he breaks the string by collecting some more of your spit in his fingers and rubbing it all over your face. as if the two of you hadn't defaced the premise of wooyoung's bed enough, you feel more of your juices leak out of your tormented cunt and on to his sheets because of this, much to yeosang's delight.

he withdraws from your naked body, and you only then realise that he is still fully clothed. something about this fact makes more warmth pool in your stomach, the power dynamic proven more obvious because he's fully clothed and you're the complete opposite, entirely at his mercy. pulling his shirt off and tugging his pants and underwear down in one go, yeosang is finally on the same level as you physically.

he stands by the edge of the bed, holding the base of his cock, stroking it near your face. he's already impossibly hard and the sight of you doesn't help his case in anyways. noticing yeosang's cock out of the corner of your eye in your nearly brainless condition, you open you mouth wide for him out of habit, making him coo half adoringly and half mockingly. "would you look at that? haven't even said a word and your opening your mouth for me like the cock-hungry slut you are."

he scoffs, slapping his cock against your lips then moving it away, eyes following the way your mouth chases after him. "a little while you go you had a lot to say. what happened now? have i fucked you dumb without even having fucked you yet?"

you don't even respond, wrapping your lips around the head of his dick and reaching out to grab and what you couldn't fit in your mouth, and yeosang laughs at you. it's a mean, condescending laugh and you shouldn't like the way it sounds as much as you do, yet it's music to your ears. "as much as i love fucking your mouth, i think we'll save that for another time. i think you're ready for my cock now. you think so?"

you've learnt by now that yeosang appreciates your verbal affirmations, and that he probably won't give you what you want unless you tell him you want it, so that's what you do. "wanna feel you in me, sang, please fuck me", you mumble drowsily, your eyes droopy but still so filled with desire.

that was more than enough for him, raising an eyebrow with a cocky smirk. "i'm going to wreck you." a promise he most definitely kept.

he picks you up easily, flipping you over once again, holding your somewhat shaky body in place now that you were on all fours with your ass facing him. he observes your figure, eyes lingering on your ass for a little while longer with the intentions of spanking it one more time just for the hell of it, but changes his mind, deciding you've had enough of that for one day. what he can't do, however, is stop himself from sliding his tongue into your pussy to lap up your juices again, causing you to jolt forward to which he places a kiss on your inner thigh, whispering a small "pretty baby".

lining his cock with your entrance, he spreads your wetness around with the head of his cock, slowly pushing the tip in. you hold back a groan, awaiting the feeling of being stuffed full of him, but it never comes since he teasingly removes it, slapping the top of his cock against your pussy. you're so far gone already that you just whine, tears filling your eyes to the brim and yeosang takes pity on you, or maybe he doesn't, because he rams his cock into you at full speed, thrusting into you roughly without waiting for you to adjust.

you hiss and cry out at the initial stretch, but the feeling of your cunt being taken by yeosang's dick is so intoxicating that you can't seem to find it in you to care. yeosang fucks into you with every ounce of energy he has left in him, digging his fingers into the skin of your hips and throwing his head back with a hearty moan. "fuck, you feel so good angel. this dirty little cunt takes me so well", he grits his teeth and drawls, voice thick with arousal, your pussy clenching around him as your body is already so accustomed to the feeling of him.

he pulls out of you once again, and you are more than ready to complain because you are sensitive, on edge and you really need to just cum, but there is no need for that as yeosang slams his cock right back in to you, repeating the action several times.

yeosang pistons into you, faster than he ever has before and the sounds of skin on skin and his hips meeting your ass ricochets off the wall of wooyoung's room. "look at what we're doing. fucking this pussy in my best friend's room", he chuckles in a sadistic manner, and you know he's enjoying the location way more than he should.

contradictory to his prior wishes, he does land his hand on your flesh once again, making sure to rub the sore spot right after. you wish you could see him right now. you can only imagine how beautiful he must look, covered in sweat which makes it look like he's glowing, head thrown back with the most mesmerising sounds slipping from his lips.

right on cue, he lets out a soft moan as his hips snap into you, grinding and rotating his hips a little to heighten the immense pleasure you were feeling. you vocalise your wishes to him, and he's more than happy to oblige. you lay yourself back down in the previous position you were in, on your back and him hovering over you. he hooks his fingers under your knees, scooting closer on the bed and wrapping your legs around his defined waist.

he slides his hands up and down your thighs gently as he positions himself again, sliding into you with ease due to all your wetness. he picks up where he left off, this time lifting up one of your legs and throwing it over his shoulder, fucking into you in this new angle.

in doing so, you let out your loudest moan yet and he knows he's found you sweet spot, so he continues to thrust into you in the same spot, bringing a hand down to rub furiously at your clit. "oh, right here?", he teases, slowing his thrusts marginally, gyrating his hips with a grin. a couple curses and other incoherent words are all you can get out, feeling like you were on cloud nine with the way ueosang was treating you.

"fuck, louder, baby. let everyone know what's happening to you in this room."

it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what was happening behind the closed door, but you couldn't stop yourself from groaning out loud if you wanted to. you knew he was close, but you were closer.

his thrusts are getting more sloppy, and his grunts are increasingly frequent, letting you know of his stance. "are you close, angel? gonna cum all over my cock?", his words sound strained and he seems have to lost his meaness from before, but you were still so spaced out that all you could do was incline your head the slightest fraction, but he understands and lets out a small laugh. "good. i want you to scream my name as you cum."

the hand that was playing with your pussy speeds up along with his thrusts, circling your clit, pinching it and rubbing it between his fingers. with the combination of his cock repeatedly hitting your g-spot and with the heightened sensitivity and pleasure you were receiving from his fingers, you knew you were about to comply with his demand. it's his last words that do it for you.

"next time, i'm going to bring wooyoung in here and make him watch while i fuck into oblivion."

you feel your entire body go limp as you cry out his name and cum, yeosang thrusting into you shallowly to help your ride out your orgasm, letting you come down from your high. you notice that he hasn't cum yet and you are about to question it before you see the sinister looking grin etched on to his mouth, mumbling a "my turn", before he pulls out and then rams into you again, mercilessly thrusting.

you quite literally scream, every part of you so sensitive having just achieved orgasm, but you can't deny that the pain feels good. his hand reaches down to squeeze your boob, tweaking the nipple with his fingers. your face is streaming with tears again like before, yeosang cooing as his thrusts become more sporadic. "there, there, baby. fuck, you look so pretty, all for me."

when he finally cums, he stills his hips completely, letting his cum fill you to the brim, holding a continuous groan until he finished. he pulls out and you can feel some of his cum drip out of you, yeosang's eyes trained on the sight of your glistening cunt that was pumped full of his seed and he pushes some of it back in with two of his fingers.

you squirm in discomfort a little and yeosang hushes you, leaning down to pet your hair softly. "did so well for me, angel."

he smooths your hair down and off your face, wiping your tears away as your breathing becomes more steady. "my perfect baby", he praises, taking one of your hands in his and bringing the fingertips up to his mouth to press kisses against. your preen at the praise, corners of your mouth curving up into a dopey smile, mumbling small a "thank you", feeling your eyelids starting to droop.

he flops down in the space next you with a tired sigh, both of your chests heaving and eyes wanting to shut. he turns his head to the side to look at you, a soft expression taking over his face as his lips curve into a smile. your eyes are closed but you feel his knuckles caress your cheek tenderly and you lean into his touch, whining a little. "we should probably get you cleaned up and out of wooyoung's room", he mumbles with a weary chuckle, laying on his side and slipping an arm around you, pulling you into him.

just as he moves to press his lips against yours sweetly, the two of you hear hushed whispers coming from the other side of the door.

"do you think they're done yet?"

"why are they so loud?"

"shut up, they can probably hear you!"

"okay but, do you think my fucking bed is still intact?" "why'd they have to go fuck in my room."

judging by the tone of voice and the words, you can only presume that the last person to speak was wooyoung, and you almost feel bad about corrupting his poor bed, but you know yeosang doesn't because of the proud smirk plastered on his mouth, and you slightly smack his chest with a laugh.

someone from outside knocks on the door. "what?", yeosang calls out, sounding sleepy and spent. wooyoung sheepishly tells you of his plans, voice growing fainter, which tells you he is walking away.

"uh, you guys can like, keep my room for tonight. i don't think i want to sleep there knowing what just happened."

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lushta1es0nm3 · 3 years

Text

Let Me Take the Pressure Off

Pairing: Kevin Moon x reader

Summary: Stress and worry can weigh him down, but you know how to lift him up.

Warning: Mature! 18+ you have been warned

Genre: Straight up smut

A/N: Read at your own risk and if you choose to read please feel free to give feedback and request. Please enjoy. 😊

———————————————————

It was half past 10 when you stepped out of the shower. You were putting lotion on thinking it would be a peaceful night since Kevin hadn’t been over in a while. The groups schedule had very busy for the past week, but you weren’t mad, it gave you time to yourself and time to heal. You huffed out a sigh as you went to rub lotion on your legs, your hand brushed across your butt causing you to wince. Shit, you thought, why’d he have to be so rough last time. Your ass was still bruised from a week ago when Kevin came over because he had a rough day, you weren’t expecting him to fuck you like that.

You stood back up straight, a quick glance in the mirror in front of you caused you to swear out loud, “SHit,” you grabbed your chest to stop it from running, Kevin was standing behind you in the bathroom doorway, “make a sound when you come in Kevin!” you fussed at him.

He smirked walked up to you, who was still half naked, and hugged you while taking a deep breath. “Sorry,” he smiled, “I didn't mean to scare you.” He reached down and grabbed a handful of your tender ass.

“Ow, shit,” you protested, “what the fuck man!” you pushed away from him, but he ended up backing you up into the counter.

“What have I told you about that potty mouth,” he started grabbing you by your chin, he was so close to your face, making you look him in the eyes.

This mutherfucker, you frowned at him, He should be the one to watch it, fucking pervert, you wonder if his fan knew he was like this in the bedroom? You was too busy cursing at him in your head that you didn't even notice him take off his shirt until you felt him lift you up in the air, all while grabbing a handful of your tender ass.

“Kev,” you whined out, “not today, im still sore from last time and i have a long shift tomorrow.”

He buried his face in your neck and breathe in and out deeply, “Okay baby,” he sighed still holding you up.

After a moment of silence he put me down, you finally looked up at him in his eyes, he looked so tired and drained, you wrapped your arms around him, Still half naked, in nothing but your panties “Rough week?” you questioned, to which he hummed out a yes, “the fans still mad about your comment about beyonce?” he replied with a yes.

All you could think was, if only they knew him like you do, they would probably shit the fuck up about it. He’s a good dude, sweet and caring but he has a dark side like everybody else, surprising his dark side was being rough and dominating in the bedroom. You can still remember the first time you guys fucked, dear lord, you were limping for a whole month.

You pulled away from him and looked back up at his loving face, “Take a shower and come to bed,” You smiled up at him encouragingly, “it’ll be okay, remember people are sensitive about everything and nothing. You are a strong and fine as fuck.” You grinned adding emphasis on the end, just to get his mind off of it.

“What did I tell you about your mouth,” he nagged knowingly, “you are entirely too pretty to talk like that.”

You smirked “Yeah I know, you tell me that all the time,” you began to walk away, “I'll bring your clothes while you wash up,” you explained leaving the bathroom and walking down the hallway.

Within an hour, he had showered and changed into his pajamas. You were already in bed with your sketchbook drawing. He climbed into bed beside you “What are you working on?” he asked softly, looking over your shoulder at your drawing, “nice.” he remarked laying down on his back looking up at the sealing with a small sigh.

Glancing over at him out of the corner of your eye, you could tell he was still upset, you don’t like looking at him when he is like this. It hurts your heart, without realizing it, you began to think of a way to cheer him up, a way to make him feel special and appreciated. He always did everything and anything to make me happy, you felt that you should do the same.

So, you put down your sketchbook and pencil and climbed on top of him. He looked surprised for only a moment because you smiled at him, “what are you up to?” he asked with a small smirk.

You didn’t answer, you simply leaned forward and kissed him softly and pulled away, “I love you,” you stated in a whisper as you watched his smirk become a smile, as he whispered it back to you.

Slowly, with all the love in your heart, you gingerly placed kisses all over his face, until there was nowhere else to kiss. You then made your way down his neck and chest removing his shirt in the process. You kissed and ran circles all over his chest, you could feel his bulge growing the closer and closer I got to his waist line. You pulled his dick out of his pants, your touch caused him to let out a soft moan. You were about to begin to give him a blowjob, when he stopped me, “you don’t have to do that,” he protested pulling you back up to his face.

“But I want to,” you explained, “I want to take care of you like you take care of me.”

The determination in your eyes made him give in. You had never given a blowjob before, maybe it was because none of the other men you dated were worth the trouble. Or maybe it was because he was the only guy to never ask for one. You began sucking him slowly, you looked up into his eyes and watched him struggle to not shove his dick down your throat. You ran your tongue up and down it, like what you had seen in porn, before taking him back in your mouth again. This time, he couldn’t hold back, he grabbed you by the hair and thrusted his dick down your throat a few times before stopping himself and making you stop.

You took that opportunity to pull off your clothes while he pulled off his pants, you didn't give him any time to switch positions and climbed back on top. You slowly slid down on his dick, watching as his face filled with pleasure. You began to ride his dick slowly while looking down at him, moaning softly as you did so. Then locking eyes with him, you knew he was enjoying this more than you. You were in control and that seemed to turn him on even more. You smiled and leaned forward again, kissing his lip gently. Like a trigger went off in his head, he wrapped his hands around my waist tightly holding you flush to his chest, he flipped you both over, he was on top now. So much for trying to give him pleasure.

He grabbed you by your wrist and pinned them both above your head, looking down at you, you knew you were in trouble now. This man is something else. He began to thrust hard and deep, drawing out deep moans from you. He smirked and began kissing you hard, harder than he ever did, making your mind go blank and your mouth hurt.

This fucker, you thought, when you felt him speed up, he always had the upper hand in the bedroom. You should’ve known better. He pulled away and grabbed a handful of your breast in one hand and a mouth full of the other. None of it was gentle, it was rough and harsh, but you liked it more than you should.

He suddenly roughly grabbed you by your chin, forcing you to open your eyes, that you didn’t realize were closed, squeezing your jaw, you opened your mouth, to which he spit in your mouth and kissed you again.

“Fuck,” you moaned out of breath, “I’m supposed to be making you feel better, not the other way around.” you barely managed to say.

He scoffed and pulled out, flipping you over, he entered you from the back. He pulled your back flush to his chest, with his arms wrapped around you tightly, he began pounding into you. This caused you gasped for air or a moment to catch up.

You heard a laugh escape his mouth just as you felt his lips brush your ear “I always feel better when you let me fuck you like this.” He sighed out in pleasure. It was then that you felt his cum slipping out of your pussy and down your inner thigh. It was more than you thought it was.

“I came a lot today baby.” He whispered when he saw your surprise. He pushed your head down on the bed with your ass up in the air, “you haven’t cum yet and that’s a big no no for me.” He continued to fuck you while smacking your ass harshly. The faster he went the more you felt your stomach clench and tremble, it felt so good but so bad.

Before you knew it your body began to tremble like an earthquake as a wash of complete pleasure came over you. Kevin slowed his pace, but he never stopped, riding out your orgasm. With a few more hard and deep thrust, he let out a loud rough moan, spilling his more of his cum in you one last time before falling on top of you. He giggled as he began to catch his breath. You loved the sound of his laugh, you smiled as he peppered gentle kisses across your shoulder. You don’t know when or how quickly you both fell asleep, but all you could hear before then was Kevin’s sweet words of praise mingled with his heartbeat, as he held you close to chest, along with the feeling of your body buzzing.

You felt good, he felt good and that’s all that mattered to you both as you drifted into dreamland. But alas, sometime in the early hours of morning, you felt him climb out of bed, his warmth disappearing with him. But not before he kissed your forehead and cheek.

“Thanks for letting take the pressure off, y/n” he whispered in your ear softly before he left. You smiled but stayed asleep in bed, wow, he’s on hell of a guy.

#the boyz #kevin moon #tbz smut #kpop smut #tbz scenarios #tbz x reader #tbz imagines #tbz au #tbzinc #tbz kevin #tbz kpop #smut #kpop boys

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years

Text

The Silent Treatment - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: slight angst, slice of life, crack(ish?), fluff, cursing

Summary: Bakugou is very much....an asshole. A shithead. A professional dick if you will. And Y/N, being his girlfriend is very much aware of that. So when he takes it too far, she has to make sure he learns his lesson.

A/N: just a quick lil cute thing, totally not spelled check

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Hey babe!” Bakugou said as he walked into the living room to find his girlfriend reading a book. He plopped down next to her and just relaxed in the feeling of the soft cushion. The little shit felt like messing with his girlfriend today.

Y/N had already been having a pissy day. After arguing with her boss, forgetting a few items back at the grocery store, and losing her new pair of headphones, she just wanted some peace with her cup of tea and a good book. Now, she has her loving boyfriend to comfort her as well. This day was surely taking a turn...right?

“Hi love, need something?” You asked calmly with the most melodic voice. Your voice. His favorite sound in the world. The sound of you just put a smile on his face which is a huge oxymoron to what this motherfucker is about to say.

“Nah, just wanted to talk to my princess,” he said while resting his head on your stomach, resting in between your legs and wrapping his arms around your waist. You awed at him but didn’t notice his little devil smile. “I had the best dream last night.”

“About what Suki?” You asked while petting his soft hair.

“You.”

“Awweee,”

“Yeahhh. You went mute for the day. Fucking paradise.” Once the words left his mouth you stilled your actions and felt your eye twitch in annoyance. Your hand on his head stilled and slightly tugged at it. In any other circumstance, Bakugou would’ve groaned at the tug (kinky bastard) but he was too busy chuckling into your tummy.

You exhaled roughly through your nose and pushed Bakugou off of you in a very polite way. He rolled onto his back onto the actual couch and watched as you crossed your legs, close your book, and pick up your tea mug.

“Hmph!” Was all that you “said” as you tilted your nose to the air and walked away. Bakugou just snickered as you left. He thought it was adorable when you were mad over tiny inconveniences and thought it was hot as fuck when you were yelling at him, but today, you won’t be doing neither.

—

About 30 minutes had passed and Bakugou had awoken from his nap on the couch. He fell asleep after you walked away but now missed your touch. He sat up, stretched, and went to find you. He walked around the house until he spotted you relaxing in the jacuzzi in the backyard. He grinned at your relaxed look and went to change.

A few minutes later Bakugou had came out to join you in the hot tub. Your eyes were shut as you relaxed in the bubbling water, and so Bakugou was able to get in without being seen. He relaxed into the water as he scooted closer to you, eventually grabbing a hold of your waist.

“Hi baby,” he said as he attempted to place you in his lap but you looked at him with an unimpressed look as you scooted away. “Y/N?”

You grabbed your towel and stepped out of the tub. You wrapped yourself in the cloth as you walked back into the house, completely ignoring Bakugou as he spoke to you.

“Wha- you’re just gonna leave? I just got in with you,” he pouted. He opted to stay in the nice warm water for a bit but once you closed the door he groaned and sunk deeper into the water. He let the water go just above his mouth and right below his nose as he blew bubbles into the tub out of annoyance.

‘The fuck is up with her?’ He thought to himself.

—

Time passed and Bakugou came out the tub. He went back to his room to change into some gray sweats and a black long sleeve (and yes he pulled the sleeves up a bit because he knew you found it attractive and if y’all don’t, well I do).

He walked into the kitchen and spotted you seemingly eating dinner. He noticed a plate for him but kind of frowned at the fact that you didn’t wait for him. He saw you placed the plate on the other side of the island, far away from you, and so he pulled the plate over and took the seat next to you.

“Hey, princess? You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” He asked but you said nothing as you just ate in silence. “Silent treatment huh?” No words.

“Baby, is this about what I said? I was only kidding Y/N,” he said as he tried to wrap his arm around your waist but you pushed it off and he groaned. “Fine. Be that way, you’ll get over it. Come talk to me when you’re done acting like a brat.”

Bakugou just grunted as he ate his dinner in silence right next to you. You finished before him and walked away after you washed your dish and this time it was Bakugou who snubbed his nose in the air at you. If it was the silent treatment that you were gonna give then it was the silent treatment that you were gonna get....sorta.

—

“BABYYYY PLEASSEEEEE!!” He whined while poking at your leg. You were currently in your home office typing away at your computer doing work when Bakugou came in about 25 minutes after he finished his dinner. He couldn’t help himself. He missed you.

You continued to ignore Bakugou as he poked and shook you for attention. You gave him nothing all day and he was getting close to his limit. Please believe he wasn’t getting shit after that brat comment.

“Princessss, c’mon! It was a joke baby, let’s go to sleep, yeah?” He begged. You looked at him with a bored expression and saw his smile as you finally gave him something. You turned back to face your computer and his smile dropped again and was replaced with a scowl. “Y/N, I was just messing with you. I love the sound of your voice and I love you. So quit ignoring me and come give me love!” He demanded.

When he noticed you weren’t budging, he stood from his seat and pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally counted.

‘1....2...3,’

He gave in and forcefully turned your chair and threw you over his shoulder. You didn’t speak to him but you squirmed and shook trying to get out of his grasp.

“Aye, aye,” he smacked your ass to get you to stop, “quit it. I’m tired, and I want sleep, and we both know I don’t sleep unless my teddy bear is with me, so shush.”

You looked at him when he told you to “shush.” As if you hadn’t been doing that all day. He just squinted his eyes as he knew what you were thinking. “You know what I mean shitty woman!”

Bakugou stormed into your shared bedroom and dropped you onto the mattress. You didn’t even try to run away. You had decided that, yes, you are indeed tired but you refused to give a certain blonde any attention. You stretched on the bed and Bakugou was in awe of your cute state but quickly snapped out of his trance when you turned on your side and gave him your back.

Bakugou got into bed along side you and scooted closer. He pressed himself against your back but once he made contact, you scooted farther away. And so, he scooted himself closer again but just like before, you scooted away. This went on about 2 more times before you scooted and fell off the bed.

“Y/N? You okay, love?” He asked as he looked down at you. You popped up from the floor, on your knees and grumbled to yourself as you vented quietly. You stood up and continued ranting as you tried to walk away to sleep on the couch but before you could get away from the king sized bed, Bakugou grabbed your wrist and pulled you on top of him. “Ignore me all you want but I’m not sleeping without my cuddles.”

You sighed as you gave in. You allowed him to hold you but you refused to speak. Bakugou rubbed circles onto your back as he inhaled your scent but he missed the sound of your voice. The sweet sound that was something similar to honey.

“Baby...I’m sorry.”

You looked at him when he apologized and raised your brow. A verbal, genuine, apology from Katsuki Bakugou? This you’ve gotta see.

“I know I shouldn’t have said that to you and even if I was only kidding......it was pretty fucking mean. ..But I hope you know I love the sound of your damn voice. I love you, dumbass. And I would never ask you to stay silent because....*sigh* ‘cuz your voice, you talking to me, you being with me, and just you in general keeps me sane. So I’m sorry. Okay? And I love you..” he said with a growing blush as he stared at you with a flustered face.

You smiled and went up to peck his lips and then give him a loving kiss. He jumped at the sudden contact but quickly melted into the kiss. He smiled as he finally got to revel in the sweet intimate moments like this. The sweet moments he’s been missing all day.

“I love you too Suki.” Oh how he craved to hear your voice. He loved the sweet sound and missed your loving tone. He pulled you in closer and just held you tight. He doesn’t plan on letting go.

“I’m so sorry. I will never make you upset like that ever again.” He bargained but you only shook your head.

“Katsuki, I was just messing with you today. I had an annoying day and that little joke just sent me over the edge but you know I never take your mean quips to heart. You’re rough around the edges but that’s just who you are and I don’t mind it. I love everything about you, even if you’re a jerk sometimes,” you teased and flicked at his nose. You giggled as he whined and tried to soothe the spot you hit. “You don’t have to censor yourself around me. Okay?”

Bakugou smiled even more. He loves you so damn much. Not only did you know he was just a little abrasive, but you accepted him for all his brunt behavior. You truly did love him. “Thanks princess,”

He sealed the deal with a sweet kiss to your temple as you giggled at the warm feeling of his soft lips. He pulled you down to his chest as you both cuddled up for the night. You sleeping is the only time Bakugou will ever be okay with you being silent. But never again will he ever allow himself to get the silent treatment.

A/N: Guys, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in such a slump and I feel like im reaching a writers block. It’s not even like I don’t have any ideas, I do! And I even have multiple unfinished pieces in my drafts but I just don’t have any motivation to finish :( sorry Cubs, don’t worry, I’ll try my best to finish them as quick as I can. Idk, should I take a break?

I’m already in the middle of a story and I don’t wanna leave those who are reading on a cliffhanger.

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enhypia · 3 years

Text

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33

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fandomlit · 3 years

Text

neutral, chap. 2 (dream smp x reader)

series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.

chapter summary tommy learns a little bit more about your relationship with dream before spending his day with ghostbur, exploring neutral territory and learning of the war that sparked its creation.

warning mentions of war, violence, and injuries

previous | series masterlist | next

gif cred belongs to @chillcrafting

“you have a package, y/n!” ghostbur called out just as you placed tommy’s breakfast in front of him. the ghoul’s words went completely ignored by tommy, whose gaze was solely focused on the beautiful stack of pancakes placed in front of him.

y/n smiled to herself. “you can bring it in, bur. i know who it’s from.” she shuffled syrup and butter over to tommy just as ghostbur came in with the fateful package.

tommy was already half way through scarfing down the stack of pancakes when y/n managed to open the package, ghostbur gazing over her shoulder. she took out a note set atop of the contents.

she read aloud, “y/n, i’m sorry i haven’t properly stopped by in a while. my work requires much of my undivided attention right now, which i’m sure you understand. please work your magic for me with the clothes included, and i will be sure to drop by for them and a meal soon. there are a few extra gifts included for you. i hope tommy isn’t burdening you. signed dream.”

“i’m not a burden!” tommy spoke offendedly through a mouthful of pancakes.

“you’re right, tommy,” y/n hummed, handing him a napkin to wipe some syrup off of his chin. “you’re perfect company.” tommy smiled to himself as he finished off his stack of pancakes. y/n sighed to herself, “clay really knows how to ruin a good piece of clothing..”

“so you and dream are close, y/n?” tommy grumbled, picking up his glass of milk.

she shrugged. “as close as you can be with someone you barely see.” she placed his battered clothes to the side, sighing again when she saw the rest of the contents of the box. tommy didn’t realize this, continuing with his questions.

“i remember that he respected your territory when he stepped into it,” he recalled. “he was going to kill me, but then he realized he was in neutral.”

y/n nodded. “when i made claimed this territory as neutral, i made a deal with everyone: i would mend and tailor anything you needed as long as you respected my territory as neutral.” she held up a box of diamonds and a smaller box of netherite to tommy’s view, making his mouth drop open with surprise. y/n held out another napkin to him for the milk that had sputtered out of his open mouth while ghostbur laughed into his hand. “clay is the only one who still tries to pay me.”

“with netherite?!” tommy exclaimed, letting out a surprised laugh.

y/n shrugged, seemingly not phased by the generous gift. “the nether..” she shook her head, placing the valuable materials onto the table, “is not a place i like to go. and most of this will probably be going toward dream’s armor, anyway.” she sighed, placing the gifts back into the box and laying the tattered shirts on top of them. “trust me, he’s still too kind for his own good with these sorts of materials.”

“how much netherite does that man have?” ghostbur scoffed, looking at how much was contained in the box.

“probably quadruple that amount,” y/n chuckled. “he has far too much free time.”

“and he doesn’t even spend it with you,” ghostbur sighed, shaking his head with a goofy smile.

“i know!” y/n spoke sarcastically before laughing out. she closed the box and set it under the table. “i’ll deal with that later. do you want any more pancakes, tommy?”

“no, i’m stuffed,” the teen yawned. “but thank you.”

she nodded. “well, then how about ghostbur shows you around the territory today?”

the boys perked up immediately. “really?”

“yeah,” she laughed, taking tommy’s empty plate. “you two can take the day to explore and have fun. go be a kid, kid.”

tommy excitedly looked up to his ghost friend. “fancy a game of ultimate tag?”

“you’re gonna get crushed,” ghostbur laughed before they both ran out of the house, laughing. y/n smiled.

“oh! i should make them lunch..”

...

“how big is this place?” tommy laughed after a few rounds of tag. they had found their way to a pond in a forested area, tommy deciding his knee needed a break after all of their running.

“it’s bigger than you think,” ghostbur assured, making sure to keep an appropriate distance from the water as they sat along the small shore. “y/n claimed the territory before l’manberg, so there really wasn’t any need for a turf war of any sorts for what she settled.”

“how long has she lived here?” tommy questioned.

ghostbur shrugged. “almost two years, i think. she’s made quite the life for herself since.” more to himself, he muttered, “god, has it really been that long since it happened?”

“since what happened?” tommy asked, leaning closer to his friend with sparkling, curious eyes.

ghostbur sighed, “i’ll admit, i don’t remember too much.. but i know there was a fight. one of the first wars of our time, and it was all over y/n.”

“they were fighting for her?” tommy spoke with confusion. “she’s not an object.”

“very good, tommy,” ghostbur prided, patting his friend on the shoulder. “you’re right, she’s not. that’s why y/n left her original home and sought to create neutral territory; to end the fighting and create a place where peace could reign. in exchange, she’d offer her goods and services.”

“so they were fighting over her for her skills,” tommy understood. ghostbur made a face. “..or not?”

“both sides obviously wanted her skills, but i think y/n tends to neglect the fact that they were all madly in love with her,” ghostbur sighed, shaking his head.

tommy raised his eyebrows. “a crime of passion, eh?” he joked, making them both laugh out before he asked, “who was it?”

“let me think,” ghostbur sighed, tapping his chin. “i know one was dream, but the other.. i think it was-”

“boys! lunch is ready when you are!”

tommy turned back to ghostbur. “well? who?”

ghostbur shook his head. “sorry, tommy, i don’t remember that far. that’s as much as i can tell you.”

tommy couldn’t help but fel disappointed, but he knew he couldn’t blame his friend. “that’s alright, ghostbur. let’s go get lunch before y/n comes looking for us.”

...

after lunch and an insistent rematch of tag, ghostbur and tommy made their way to the organized garden area.

“y/n grows anything you can imagine,” ghostbur bragged as tommy marveled as the fluorescent, beautifully natural area. “she’s been to nearly every biome to complete her garden.”

“you can grow cocoa?!” tommy exclaimed when he finally spotted y/n, who was swinging an axe at a low jungle tree.

“y/n found a way,” ghostbur shrugged, guiding tommy over to her. “hey, y/n!”

“hi, boys,” she smiled, plucking off the plant she had loosened from the tree. “was lunch good? im sorry i didn’t stay and chat.”

“it was delicious,” ghostbur complimented, tommy nodding in agreement as his mind drifted back to the mouth watering coleslaw and toasted sandwiches she had prepared.

“that’s good!” she smiled, placing the cocoa plant on the ground. “you boys may want to step back.” they did as told as y/n swung her axe over her head, splitting the cocoa clean in half and revealing the delicious beans inside of it. “voila!”

ghostbur clapped politely. “thank you,” y/n laughed, dropping her axe and picking up the split plant. “would you boys like a sample?”

“sure,” tommy shrugged, stepping forward with ghostbur. he picked out a few beans before popping them into his mouth. breaking through the semi-tough shell, the delicious, dark taste flooded his taste buds and made him nearly moan, as y/n’s food often did. he and ghostbur shared a look of satisfaction before he voiced, “oh, y/n.. they’re perfect.”

“that’s good,” she laughed before nudging her bucket closer to her and scooping the seeds out into it. “how has your day around the territory been?”

“entertaining,” tommy spoke before asking, “how did you get into gardening, y/n?”

y/n gave ghostbur a knowing smile before she answered the younger boy’s question, “i was tired of eating only meat and bread. gardening was a way to expand my diet to more than just carbs and proteins. also, it’s very calming.” they followed when she hiked up her bucket and moved to the next jungle tree.

“is it?” tommy questioned.

she affirmed with a nod. “it’s nice to be able to spend a day tending to things you made. the fruits of your own harvest are the sweetest, they say.” they watched as she knocked down another cocoa plant.

“they are,” tommy nodded solemnly, his mind drifting to a sadder, more familiar place. “that’s why i miss l’manberg.”

y/n was barely surprised by the boy’s open confession. she tossed her axe down again, going to place a hand on tommy’s shoulder. “i know you do, tommy, and i know it’s rough right now. but what we’re playing here is a waiting game; we’re waiting for a safe opportunity to get you home, and in the meantime, i’ll take care of you, kid.”

tommy offered you another nod and a smile. “we?”

y/n gave him a kind grin. “im going to help you as best as i can from where i am. and i know that’s not much from me, but i know that everyone deserves a home that they love. and you can’t get there alone, kid.”

“you’re right about that,” tommy sighed before looking into her kind eyes. “thank you, y/n. your help means a lot.”

she squeezed his shoulder. “of course, tommy. you and ghostbur go explore some more; try to keep your mind on the things you can control.” she picked her axe back up.

tommy looked to the pitying ghoul beside him before looking back to y/n, a new thought fresh in his mind. “can you teach me how to cook?”

y/n grinned as she lifted her axe over her head again. “of course i can, tommy.”

tommy smiled as she cracked open the plant. he looked back to ghostbur. “wanna go for a swim?” the ghost shot him a fearful look. “im kidding! im kidding, let’s go use some pigs for target practice.” they both began to walk off, chatting and giggling before tommy turned and called, “y/n!” she looked up attentively. “what’s for dinner?”

she smiled. “i was thinking ribs!”

tommy’s mouth watered at the thought. “oh my god, i can’t wait to learn how to cook..”

tag list!! @vanhakirja @victory-is-here @inkyynki @airiour @sylum @kiritokunuwu @221bee-slytherin @bllatrixcarpnter @soullesstaco @stxrryb1tch comment below or message me if you would like to be added <3

#youtubers x reader #youtubers fanfic #mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfic #dream smp x reader #dream smp fanfic #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit fanfic #dream x reader #dream fanfic #ghostbur x reader #ghostbur fanfic

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winter-soldier-vibes · 3 years

Note

Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!

Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!!

It’s called empathy

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1981

Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing

Taglist Masterlist

--------------

Breathe in

Breathe out

Out

...in…

You felt a tear escape your eyes

Goddamn it

You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.

You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears

Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over.

Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.

Weak sensitive piece of shit.

What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad.

You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak.

You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse.

The answer was usually yes.

Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable.

It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved.

You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through.

The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise.

But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself.

You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you.

You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.

But you didn’t get to make that choice.

The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks.

You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.

It was a vicious cycle.

Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them.

This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen.

Your emotions came and went without your consent.

You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.

A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!”

There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again.

Knock knock

You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night.

“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”

You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?

“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”

“Really Bucky?”

“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”

You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”

You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”

“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”

You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words.

“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”

“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid.

You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”

Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”

“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.

Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”

“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”

“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”

“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?”

Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”

You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.”

“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”

You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”

“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.”

You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.

He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”

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