#sorry this is so random. i blame it to once upon a time on repeat that had me caught so many feelings :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hwanchaesong · 2 years

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ATEEZ when they cheat on you

Hongjoong

will be in denial for a few days, blaming you to hide the fact that what he did was really shitty, that was until you brought all of his gifts for you back to him.

"C'mon Y/N, wait up! Just listen to me!" Hongjoong grabbed your wrist, stopping you from speed walking out of the company.

Really, all you wanted to do was to give him dinner so he won't starve for tonight, but all you got was the view of him sticking his tongue down into some random girl's throat.

"What?!" you finally broke down, yelling at him in the hallway, not caring if other people heard you.

"Y/N, lower your voice, they might hear y-"

You scoffed, cutting him off, "Then so be it, let them know how much of an asshole you are!"

"Oh yeah? Maybe I wouldn't do this if you got more time to spend with me, y'know?" Hongjoong yelled back, but what broke your heart more is when he shifted the blame on you.

You were the one who always adjusts to his tight schedule, heck, you even sacrifice your precious sleep just to go see him in the crack of dawn as he always asked you to come because that is the only time he's free.

And now he says that to you? Fuck this shit.

You let out a bitter laugh, "Goodbye, Hongjoong." you turned around and left, this time he didn't follow you.

He returned to his studio, seething that you won't get his point. Hongjoong let things as they are, thinking that you'll come back to him either way.

Surprise surprise, after three days, a large box was delivered into their dorm. Upon opening it, his gifts and memorabilia for you are all placed inside.

His hands were shaking when he picked up a photo of you and him back when you had your first date.

Hongjoong knew he ruined a beautiful relationship that night but refused to believe it because of his damned ego.

Now, he had lost his muse.

Seonghwa

he will definitely try and get you back. he will legit do anything and everything even if it means that he needs to chase you until the world falls apart.

"You're here again?" you inhaled sharply, closing your eyes to contain the raging anger building inside your chest.

Seonghwa licked his lips, looking down in shame. The bouquet in his hands is crumpled because of the amount of force he's using to hold it.

"Y/N, I really am sorry. It was an accident." he tried to explain himself for the nth time, but you weren't having any of it.

"An accident?" you repeated before grabbing the bouquet in his hands, throwing it in the garbage ruthlessly.

"So fucking another girl in our bed is an accident? Wow, that's just pure bullshit, isn't it?" you rhetorically asked, knowing full damn well that he chose to do it.

Seonghwa looked at the flowers in the trash can, a pang in his heart is felt but he doesn't have any right to feel it knowing that your situation is worse.

"I know it's my fault, but I really do love you, please believe me." he begged once more, moving an inch closer to hold your hands, to which you disgustedly pulled yourself away from him.

"If you really love me," your eyes turned glassy, choking back the sobs, "then you wouldn't stab me in the back like that and leave me bleeding until I'm all out of trust for you."

You closed the door and willed yourself not to cry, leaving Seonghwa outside in the cold.

Yunho

he will tell you everything, he couldn't live with the guilt knowing that you're happily inlove with a cheater like him.

That's a lie right? Yunho, your ever loving, sweet, and kind boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you, right?

"Won't you say anything?" Yunho asked, looking at your face for any signs of crying. He is so ready to comfort you if you shed a tear even if the reason for your agony is him.

"Does she mean anything to you?" you finally replied, his words finally sinking in.

"No! Baby, she's nothing but a one night stand." he winced at his reasoning, that sounds more wrong than he thought.

You nodded your head, fully understanding the situation.

"She's nothing but she must also be something if it means that she's able to charm you into bed, huh?" you didn't realize that teardrops started falling on your cheeks until Yunho wiped them away.

"Y/N, can you please forgive me for this?" he cupped your cheeks, waiting for an answer.

"Of course I will forgive you."

You would do that, as you didn't want to harbor any hatred for the man that treated you like a princess for years.

Yunho was about to cheer, thinking that he still hasn't lost you.. but he's wrong. Your next words shattering his whole world.

"I forgive you, but I couldn't stay with you anymore."

Yeosang

he was caught red handed, and he was so torn when he saw your heartbroken face. the main finale though, is when you still managed to act normally.

"Yeosang?"

He went frigid when he heard your voice from behind him, not expecting you to be here as well.

"Yeosang? Why aren't you answering to me?" you asked curiously, and you began to think that you got the wrong person.

"Yeosang! Babe, look what I got!"

Well that confirms it.

A pretty girl came running towards him, clinging into his arms while she showed the piece of clothing that piqued her interest. Then the girl noticed you staring at them.

"Excuse me miss, do you need something?" she queried, and you had to put on your most plastic smile. Toughened yourself out to ask the question that will hurt you for a lifetime.

"Yeah, actually I wanna ask if this guy is your boyfriend?" you pointed at the tall man.

She giggled and forcefully turned Yeosang around, the sight of your fake grin is painfully visible, especially when your eyes are speaking the truth.

"He is! Do you know him?" the 'girlfriend' made a little chitchat, but you couldn't bear to stay there longer or else you'll have a complete breakdown.

"He is an acquaintance of mine." you answered with an artificial cheery tone.

Yeosang's eyes widened, what do you mean by acquaintance?

"Y/N." he called your name, making you gaze into his handsome face one last time.

"Glad that you remembered my name, here." you thrusted a paper bag in his hands, "Please do give that to my boyfriend and tell him that I won't be able to see him for a while. I'll be busy."

You bowed and waved goodbye to the couple, leaving both of them to enjoy their time together.

"You know her boyfriend? Why wouldn't she say that to him herself, that's sad." the girl sighed before continuing to blabber.

The rest of her words are completely muted in Yeosang's ears, his eyes are focused on your retreating figure that is getting smaller every second.

He watched you walk away, out of his life.

San

he will desperately hold onto you, not wanting you to leave him despite his infidelity. he was so ready to beg and be on his knees if it meant that you'll stay.

"Let go of me, San." you gritted your teeth, willing yourself to not look at him or else your resolve to leave will melt.

"Please, please, don't leave me! I couldn't live without you!" San pleaded, hugging your waist tightly that grounded you in your place.

He was too strong to fight off and too heavy to push away. The more you stay there, the more you want to give in, and that's a big no.

"If you couldn't live without me then you should've thought twice before hooking up with someone who isn't me!" you yelled, letting the tears that you are holding back fall.

It fell like rain along with your body, slumping down in the carpet as you cried your heart out.

All you did was love San, support him and care for him and what you got was him being unfaithful to you during their tour.

There you were, thinking about his well being and waiting patiently for him to come back. And there he was, having the time of his life.

It was unfair, so unfair especially when he does this to you.

San was unable to speak or do anything, watching you crumble into pieces is something that pained him down to the bones. He wants to tell you that everything will be fine, but how?

He carefully hugged you, and as selfish as it is, he still doesn't want to let go of you, "Baby, I'm here. Please, calm down and let's talk about this."

Mingi

he will cry, feeling like he is the worst man in the universe for making you feel like you weren't enough. the type to not forgive himself.

"Aren't you gonna slap me? Hit me? Curse at me?"

"I won't do any of that." you replied, looking at him intently and Mingi wants to hit himself.

He already got you, the best woman that god graced him with and he just had to ruin the relationship that you two built for years.

Why did he even agree to go clubbing, get drunk and make out with some random girl when he could've gone home and cuddled you instead?

Mingi groaned and stood up, repeatedly punching the wall out of frustration. He doesn't deserve you, he is a freaking excuse of a man.

"Mingi stop! You'll hurt yourself!" you immediately went to him, preventing him from further causing damage.

You lifted his arm and inspected his bleeding knuckles, you sighed and held his hand close to your heart, "I love you, Mingi."

Oh no, he is about to cry again.

"And I am willing to make this work. I have invested a lot in our relationship, I don't want to throw that away." you told him truthfully, giving him some relief.

"I'd do anything you tell me." his voice is desperate, knowing full well that he might lose you anytime.

"Give me more time to move on."

Mingi really doesn't deserve an angel like you.

Wooyoung

he wasn't himself at the time, and he repeats that lame excuse so that you'll accept his apology and give him a second chance.

You distanced yourself from Wooyoung's body when he went closer to you, trying to hold you in his arms in an attempt to calm you down.

"Y/N, baby, I was drunk." he reasoned out, making you roll your eyes in disbelief.

"I know a lot of people who got drunk and frankly, they never fucked another person who is not their significant other." you quipped back, having enough of his bullshit.

You were angrily throwing all of your items in your suitcase, keen on getting out of your shared house.

You have nothing to do with him anymore.

"Can't we at least talk and work this out?" he bargained, getting antsy at the thought of not having you in his life anymore.

"Listen Wooyoung."

It was weird on his part for you to call him by his name, and that is a big indication that you're not giving in to him this time.

"There is no more room to talk about, and the only thing that we can work out is the fact that we're done." you said with finality, zipping the case of your bag and getting ready to get out of this suffocating house.

"I'm sorry." you heard him mumble from behind you, and for a second you think that he's genuinely regretting what he did.

You shook your head and opened the door, ceasing for a moment to tell him a final message.

"Don't do this to your next relationship, Wooyoung. Improve yourself."

Jongho

he loves the thrill and he lives for it. not until you caught him, and now he's in big trouble, his usual cool attitude is washed down in the drain.

"I knew you're going to meet her again here." you commented, staring at Jongho like you're putting bullets in his brain and in your defense, you would've if you could.

Jongho halts all of his movements, it was too cold even if his jacket is thick as fuck. And he knew the reason why.

You're here, his girlfriend, at the rooftop where he meets his mistress every night.

"Say, this is quite the romantic place to commit a sin isn't it?" you sarcastically asked him, looking around the area.

The wind suddenly blew, making your hair flow in the air, and Jongho saw that scene.

You look gorgeous under the moonlight, you look like a goddess, and that reminded him why he fell in love with you in the first place.

He realizes that he made the biggest mistake ever, one that he will regret for the rest of his life.

"Is there anything I can do to fight for you? For us?" he gulped, expecting you to somehow be lenient, although a huge percentage of it is impossible.

"The fight should have never ended, sweetie." you replied, raising an eyebrow.

Jongho understands that everything is over and it somehow brings him waves of torment, knowing that he wasted a perfect woman like you.

You went and walked past him, stopping at his side to whisper to him the sentence that would haunt him even in his sleep.

"You grabbed me off of my solitude, yet you never offered me your companionship."

It was the truth he couldn't deny, and that itself made you believe that you deserve better.

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Taglist:

@hyuckilstan @minkiflwr @kpopcrossworlds @ateezbabysitters

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white-poppie · 2 years

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Chaotic Tokyorev Headcanons

A/N: This is very chaotic so be warned. Who said woman can’t be funny? Kiss my ass :3

(Bonus: Random memes i found)

Tokyo 卍 Revengers (東京卍リベンジャーズ)

Mikey

Manz has severe like severeee indigestion problems. Like all this guy does is eat and sleep?? So he burps so loud. Imagine being in a meeting, complete silence, lots of focus and this midget just goes BURRRPPP.

He is so hecking annoying like bro stop sending Beluga videos at 3AM, poor Draken is trying to sleep.

He once changed Draken’s ringtone to CPR by Cuppcake. They were in a meeting and Draken recieved a call,oh boy, entire of Toman saw Draken’s dArK ImPulSes while the background music kept playing. “I am here to serve you customer service~~”

Draken

Man is too tall to be in Japan lmao, that one time he was walking with Mikey, he miscalculated how much he would need to bend to enter the door way. Ended up bonking his face straight into the wall.

He is barely ever sleep at night, reasons: overthinking, living in a brothel and most importantly, Baji and Mikey who send him random videos that he has to pretend to not find funny. Like that one time Baji sent him a video of Spongebob saying ‘YOAIMO’ on loop.

He is so quiet sometimes you would think there is something wrong. What actually goes in his mind is: ‘What if Baji suddenly shat in his pants again in the middle of a fight?’ or ‘if the earth is round, is it Mikey’s fault?’

Draken:

Me: 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗

Baji

is the kind of person who’s only response to any kind of insult is “YoUr MoM.”

Like Mf its not my mom who cried because I had to repeat a school year.

You : “Baji you look like shit.” Baji: “jOe MAmA” *insert windshield wiper laugh* My guy, you aint funny 😐😑

He once went to Ken saying, “Oi do you know Draken?” Draken is like: 😐 brother wut Baji: DRAKEN DEEZ NUTS-

(He ended up face flat on ground that day)

Chifuyu

Best boy 😤

I just knowww he reads soo much smut and weirdass wattpad books. Like the books he reads are so Satire.

the shit is like: marked by the alpha, sold to the mafia boss by my parents, kidnapped by One direction, BTS are my bullies and I fall in love with them and the vampire is my mate.

I don’t even need to be told twice. He is a twice stan, no questions asked. e was home alone and was playing some songs while bathing. After he came out a particular song: TT by Twice started playing and boi he couldn’t resist dancing. He wasn’t aware that baji had come home and the door was a little open, Baji saw him dancing with exaggerated steps with only a towel .

In case you wanna see the steps: https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxG_GPqC87wi8QjUpoI4IbwcPmo3flsJpS

Kazutora

He gets anxious so easilyy (he is me, I am him).

Once he was with Chifuyu helping in the ship, stalking one of the crates he by mistake dropped an item on Chifuyu’s leg.

He got confused between saying: ‘Are you okay?’ and ‘I am sorry’

He ended up yelling at his face, “ARE YOU SORRY?” And Chifuyu is just like: 🙂 tf you high on dood?

He has some...interesting choice of words when it comes to certain things. Like one time Chifuyu and him were watching a movie and he randomly went, “damn, her Tatas are so big.” Chifuyu ended up spilling the cold drink on his tatas due to laughing so much instead.

If bad things happen in your life, don’t blame yourself-

Mitsuya

Okay so we know he is an amazing brother you takes good care of his sisters. But for some reason the rest of toman also expects him to take care of them?

Like that one time when Baji set fire to car when people were still inside and he was forced to apologize to a veryy naked couple in the middle of the road at that time.

Or when when a girl was fixated upon Hakkai and he had to pretend to be his boyfriend to drive her off.

And also at the time when a very sleepy Mikey showed up in the middle of the night asking him for some snacks and everything was finished so he made him have half-cooked rice with peanut butter.

Hakkai

Pretty Boyyy🥺❤❤ And also fruity icon. Mf have you seen his wallpaper? “Takaa channn”

The Tiktok kid who puts TW on the weirdest of things. Like: TW! : bunny-hats, dirty shoes and sometimes even TW! Asian ppl. My love, you ARE Asian.

He forgets about how huge he is sometimes, so he ends up breaking so many things.

Like that one time Mitsuya dared him to hold a girl’s hand. He did so, she felt comfortable and they started walking, he suddenly lifted his arm up and that poor girl was dangling like a keychain: 🧍‍♀️ 🙋‍♂️. Thank fully her arm didn’t break, but he never held hands with anyone again.

hands and doors aren’t the only things this boy can break

HMMM... lets take a moment and think about Hakkai’s wallpaper :))

Sanzu

All we accept in this house is Sanzu slander :))

Sanzu stans be jumping red flags like its olympics all year

Mf got so high once, he started humping a tree...in a kids park.

A parent came upto him and asked, “sir what are you, doing, this is a kids park, please keep that in mind.”

He looked dead in their eye, blinked and said, “Oh, I am sorry, I’ll turn on my kiddie mode.” (2 minutes later)

Sanzu: “WHAT DOES A FOX SAY?” Kids: Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!!

Also once he said to Bonten Mikey that his hair looks like that of a karen. Ran and Rindou feared for his life that day.

Unironically says YEET when he throws something.

Has a group chat with Ran and Rindou called The Boyz 🥶🔥⛓

JOJO NO KIMYO NA BOKEN AIZU OIFU HEABWEN

Smiley ( Kawata Nahoya)

This boy right here is a menace to society.

This guy has so much lice in his hair. He never washes it. Souya was once looking at him picking something from his hair and chewing it. Mf was picking out lice and eating it like a hecking monkey. (Bro how did you not get Aids by now?)

He sleep-talks. A lot. Him and Souya were sleeping one day and baby boy started whimpering. Poor Angry thought he was having a bad dream and tried to wake him up. He ended up getting kicked in the face while him yelling “WHAT DA DOG DOIN?”

He once thought that him and Souya should name their attacks like those in MHA and Naruto. The neighbours were just looking at them yelling while standing 4 feet away from each other like: 🧍‍♂️ and yelling like Naruto and Sasuke “SOUYAAA” “NAHOYAA” “SOUYAAA” “NAHOYAA” “ROUNDO HOUSEO KICKKEU!!” ”ONE PUNCHO IN YOUR FACEUU!!” and all this while standing like a statue.

“DIE, YAY, MURDER, YAY” : Master Oogway

Angry (Kawata Souya)

This little gremlin, he is so pretty:(((

He is so respectful that its funny.

So once he had a s/o. They were all dressed up for him, *wink wonk*. So they are just lying there like draw me like one of your french girls. And bro he opened the door. Stood there staring into their soul for a few seconds, turned around and slammed the door in their face while yelling, “I am sorry I should have knocked!” Ruined the whole mood.

His brother knows everything that happens in his life. Your crush on Mitsuya? Smileys knows. You skipping a class? Smiley knows. The time when Chifuyu tried to subtly fart? Smiley knows. Baji’s crappy “Deez” jokes? Smiley KNOWS.

He just such a cute little and fragile dandelion UwU who can turn Ran into Ranabelle UwU.

Shuji Hanma

As much as I hate this bitch...he is hot in the timeskip only)

You think Hakkai was bad? He makes wholeass overdramatic TikTok povs. Shit is like: “I am your boyfriend and the police is arresting me.” Mf goes making such weird faces.

He gets sooo mad when you compare him to Nishinoya from Haikyuu.

He also says “SHEESH’ and lip-bites obnoxiously

Oh did I forget to mention about how he tried to make that one video of doing the ‘bapsae’ hip thrust? I am talking about this thing. Yeah...dude lost his balance due to bending too much, mf was so AGRESSIVE when I tell you. It wasn’t even hot anymore, looked like he was having an itch. smh

The clip: https://youtube.com/shorts/dX6RTlhW2ZY?feature=share

Tokyo 卍 Revengers (東京卍リベンジャーズ)

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Taglist: @denkis111, @jazzylove, @kristaline2dmensimp, @lordmypantsaresocool, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle, @rintaroubby, @nanaseishiro, @maybeleftoverjourneys, @idowritingandstuff, @astrofai, @loverboy--pdf, @akumicchi

〜 ➤Be added to my tag list: TAGLIST (If the link doesn’t work message me under this fic or personally to add you)

Love <3 @white-poppie™ on Tumblr

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years

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‘Til I Forget About You | Reggie Peters

JATP x BTR Week - Day 2: BTR

Song used: ‘Til I Forget About You - Big Time Rush

Pairing: Modern Day!Reggie x Reader

Summary: When Reggie’s girlfriend breaks up with him, he’s completely devestated. Now it’s up to y/n, Luke, Alex and Julie to cheer him up again. With the help of parties, movie nights and just overall fun things, Reggie completely forgets about Lisa.

A/N: Thanks @jatp-btr, @meangirlsx and @darlingsteveharrington for this amazing idea! Honored to be a part of this! Extra special shoutout to @darlingsteveharrington for making me these amazing time jump headers!! I am forever grateful and appreaciate you so so so much! 💕

Warnings: Underage drinking, party, alcohol, heartbreak

Words: 5,880

Reggie sat by himself in the garage one afternoon, plucking the strings of his bass guitar soothingly as he tried to forget about the screams and clatter of plates breaking at his house. Things had gotten heated again when his father came home drunk for the nth time that week. He didn’t blame his mother for slowly losing her patience with her husband. Sure, he couldn’t help it if his boss fired him instantly and he couldn’t find a new job. Albeit he didn’t search for one either.

His thoughts were thankfully interrupted by his phone buzzing on the coffee table in front of him. He halted his fingers before leaning over to see if he could ignore whoever needed him at this moment.

Confusion rose within him as his girlfriend, Lisa, smiled back at him on the picture that had appeared on screen. “Hello, gorgeous,” he said upon picking up, a smile playing on his lips. A smile that faltered as soon as it appeared when he heard sniffles coming from the other side. “Are you okay, Lis?” he asked, worry lacing in his voice.

“I can’t do this anymore, Reggie. I… It’s over. We’re done.”

With those simple words, Lisa hung up, leaving Reggie frozen in place. He couldn’t move his muscles, let alone feel them. His mind had blanked. His eyes focused on the closed white doors in front of him.

He didn’t even know what he’d done wrong for Lisa to suddenly break up with him. It wasn’t like anything had happened between them. In fact, last time they saw each other, everything still seemed peachy. More than peachy. They’d spent the night together, which seemed to have been the very last one at that too.

“Oh, hey, Reg,” a voice made him jump out of his trance. He finally dropped the phone in his lap and stared at the girl that had entered the garage. “Are you okay?” she asked, growing worried for her friend. He almost seemed catatonic.

“No,” he muttered, and finally remembered to blink. “Lisa.... I think Lisa just broke up with me?” Tears pooled his eyes as everything dawned on him, the words repeating in his head. Over and over again. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. “Lisa just dumped me…” y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the confused and broken-hearted bass player.

“What?!” y/n exclaimed as she moved over towards the boy. She grabbed his bass and gently placed it on its stand again before pulling him to his feet and wrapping her arms around him. As he cried, y/n rubbed circles on his back, trying to soothe him a little. “I’m so sorry, Reg.”

He sniffled once more before gently pushing the girl off him. “I-I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” he said and made a beeline out the door as Luke and Alex walked in together with furrowed eyebrows at the haste their friend just left in.

“Is he okay?” Alex asked y/n, pointing back to where the other boy had just left.

“He will be, I think… Lisa just broke up with him.” Y/N’s forehead creased as she frowned, concerned for her friend’s broken heart. “Before you ask me, I don’t know why, I don’t know how. I just know she dumped him and that he’s pretty distraught.”

Luke only moved one muscle, intending to follow behind Reggie, but y/n stopped him. “Let him be. For now. He’ll come back when he needs us.”

He did come back that night, but only for band practice and only because he knew he needed the music to numb his brain that was overflowing with thoughts about his now-ex-girlfriend.

He’d been breaking his head over the reasons why Lisa would ever break up with him. They were doing so well. What changed that she ultimately decided to break it off. Has he done something wrong?

For days, he’d tried to call her, went to her house, tried something to get her to talk to him. But it was all in vain. Lisa cut off all communication. She blocked his number, told her mother that if he ever came to their house, she’d have to send him away, … She didn’t even grant him one glance when they passed each other in the hallways at Los Feliz High.

His friends were at a loss. Reggie was so disconnected from the real world, he didn’t even care if he missed a few chords during rehearsals or his notes sounded flat. He didn’t care anymore. He just wanted Lisa back.

For days they tried to patch him up. They’d talk to him about the most random stuff they could think of that wouldn’t remind him of Lisa. None of which seemed to have an effect. Even at the boys’ banter Reggie just chuckled half-heartedly. Even when y/n made him a peppermint hot chocolate, he shot her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Nothing worked.

“I’m at a loss, you guys,” y/n mumbled as she got up from the couch after the Julie and The Phantoms band rehearsal that night.

Reggie had just left the garage to go for another ‘walk’, which they knew by now just meant going places that reminded him of her, and left his friends with a sour and tense feeling lingering in the air.

Julie nodded her head as she turned her keyboard off, but stayed put on the stool behind it. Luke placed his guitar on its stand while Alex came out from behind his drum set, leaving the sticks behind. Julie then said, “I really wanna help him, but I don’t know what to say to him anymore… I’m so scared I’ll say the wrong thing.”

“We can’t just keep tiptoeing around him though,” Alex chimed in as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket.

Y/N started pacing the floor nervously whilst going over some ideas in her mind that could possibly help out her friend.

Reggie had been there for her so many times whenever she’d gotten her heart broken by someone. He’d cuddle her, make her peppermint hot chocolate, let her cry for a while and watch 10 Things I Hate About You with her as it was her favorite movie. It gave her the opportunity to open up the floodgates without having to feel guilty about crying her eyes out.

Luke grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her from making him so nervous. “This is not a runway, angel,” he told her before turning to the others. “We need an intervention.”

Alex pointed a finger to his friend in agreement. “Yes! Any ideas?”

Y/N’s brain immediately went to one occurrence during one of her very many heartbreaks. Reggie’s very own intervention to the road to happiness. She remembered his words to a t, “The only cure to a mended heart is a party and alcohol.”

Her friends’ heads whipped around to face her after her mumbling.

“I know what we need to do.”

Reggie plopped down on the armchair after yet another failed band rehearsal. He pulled at the fabric of the piece of furniture, silently cursing at himself and Lisa for letting him fall down this far.

With one collective glance, the boys, y/n and Julie turned towards the brunette bass player. All four of them crossed their arms and glared at him sternly. Reggie felt their eyes burn on the side of his face and he already knew what was going to happen.

“Don’t even try,” he warned.

Y/N uncrossed her arms in defeat and went to kneel down in front of him, placing her hand on his to make him stop tearing the chair apart. “Yes, try. Reggie, we’ve let you be miserable for an entire week. It’s time for an intervention.”

“Guys…” Reggie sighed, shaking his head in objection.

“Reggie,” Julie stated sternly, capturing the boy’s attention. “We’re gonna help you forget all about her. Okay? We’re gonna party, we’re gonna spend so much time together to the point you’ll be focusing on how sick you are of us and you’ll have forgotten all about her.”

The dark-haired boy glanced at the boys first before his eyes landed on y/n’s, who was still crouched down in front of him. She nodded her head encouragingly. Then finally, a soft smile fell to his lips before he got up from the chair slowly as if moving was against his own will.

That night, they all got ready together for the night ahead. While y/n and Julie were doing their makeup and jamming to all the tunes that were bursting out of the speakers, the boys were chilling on Julie’s bed. Neither of them were ready yet, but they said they were going to bequeath the girls their precious time in front of the vanity mirror.

“The mirror is all yours, pretty boys!” Julie sang as she pressed her glossed lips together and popped them before getting up from the stool.

Luke and Alex both whistled as the two girls stood in front of them in their party outfits. Julie opted for a tight purple dress from her mother’s chest of fashion treasures while y/n was wearing a black mesh top and a pleather skirt, paired with black over-the-knee boots.

The two girls striked a pose, both pouting their lips simultaneously. Their giggles filled up the room until y/n’s eyes landed on Reggie, who was just staring at her with a bright pink dusting his cheeks. Her giggle faded and changed into a simple smile. A smile that said ‘I see you’. A smile that caused Reggie’s heart to skip a beat.

Julie had picked up on the change of vibe that exuded from the interaction between her two best friends, and a smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “Get ready quickly, boys. We wanna partyyyyy!” she dragged out the last word and threw her hands up in the air, clearly ready for letting loose on this wonderful Friday night.

The gang arrived at the Wilson estate an hour later than the party actually kicked off. “Being fashionably late” Luke had called it, though that was just an excuse so the girls wouldn’t complain about him taking so long to style his hair.

“You took longer than we did and we’ve done a full face of makeup!” y/n had teased him which had earned her a glare from the perfectly coiffed guitarist.

They stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at the grinding bodies in the middle of the living room as the music thumped through the speakers and the stench of alcohol filled up their nostrils. It was an overwhelming feeling to arrive at a party that was already in full swing, and y/n could tell Reggie was somewhat agitated.

To ease the tension in his shoulders, she reached for his hand and squeezed it, saying, “The only cure for a broken heart…” She didn’t even need to finish her sentence for he already had a smile climbing up his cheeks.

“Let’s start with shots!” Alex suggested excitedly and skipped through to the set-up bar in the kitchen. The remaining four glanced at one another and collectively chuckled at the drummer’s eagerness before following behind.

The blondie stood shoulder-to-shoulder with a pretty long-haired boy the gang knew as Willie, Alex’s long-time crush. Nobody was really sure what was happening between the two, but they did find them sneaking off at every party they went to together.

They were lining up six shots of Tequila, ready for their friends to shoot back. Every party the group attended, these two took care of every beverage. Whether it was lining up shots for their friends or shaking up a good cocktail. They were the pros out of all of them. The self-proclaimed Liquor Kings.

“Tequila for the pretty lady,” Alex handed the small cup to y/n, sending a blush straight up to her cheeks, but Alex was too busy handing out the drinks to even notice the effect his flattery had on her. Y/N always blushed whenever somebody complimented her, even if it were the people she had been friends with for a long old time.

Willie handed her a lime slice, which she held between the fingers of the hand her shot was in as he needed her other hand to line up the salt in the crook between her thumb and index finger. She shot him a quick thank-you wink before turning to the rest of the group who’d been equipped with all the ingredients for the perfect tequila shot.

“Ready?” Willie asked as a wide smile lit up his face. The group nodded, one a little more excited than the other, and Willie started the countdown. On three, the entire group licked the line of salt off their hand, threw back the shot and then sucked the lime.

Y/N’s face scrunched up as the three tastes mingled on her taste buds and the burning sensation of the liquor slithered down her throat. Reggie was mirroring her expression with the slice of green between his lips.

She giggled at him as he groaned, throwing the sucked-dry lime on the counter. “Feels great, doesn’t it?” Reggie coughed and reached for the two cups their Liquor Kings handed over.

“Amazing,” Reggie mumbled with a chuckle, though his smile fell almost immediately as he brought the red cup to his lips. Y/N knew Lisa was still on his mind and she’d have to do a lot more than just have him drink a shot of Tequila.

Determinedly, she grabbed his hand and led him towards the living room where all party attendees were dancing. Reggie looked scared for his life as y/n started to move to the music, coaxing him to follow her lead.

“Come on, Reg! The best cure to a broken heart is a party!” She tried again when he didn’t even move a muscle. “And at a party, you dance!” Next thing he knew, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her hip while her hand sneaked up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer towards her until their chests were pressed together. Slowly but determinedly, she started to sway her hips to the music, automatically forcing him to move along with her.

Reggie moved along absentmindedly as his cheeks heated up at the close proximity in which they were dancing. He had never seen his best friend in any different way. Y/N had always been there and she’d always been just a friend in his eyes, but dancing so close to her gave him a whole different perspective.

He blamed it on being vulnerable post heartbreak.

After a refill on behalf of the Liquor Kings and a few songs dancing together, y/n was suddenly being pulled away by Julie and Flynn as they shouted, “Come on, Bitch! This is our song!” Y/N mouthed an apology to Reggie and joined her two best friends in their dance circle.

With his support system gone, the dark-haired boy had fallen still. He didn’t have another move inside him, not without her, at least. It was like y/n was the battery and now that she wasn’t empowering him to dance, there was no energy left inside him. So, instead of standing in the middle of the dance floor like an absolute loser, he shuffled into the kitchen to get something else to drink. He was in need of something stronger.

Luke had been chatting up a girl when he saw his buddy walking in, looking solemn for someone who loved going to parties. He excused himself and walked over to where Reggie was pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

“You okay, buddy?” he asked with worry laced into his voice. Reggie offered him an unconvincing smile as he poured the liquor into the empty red cup.

“Yeah, totally.”

Luke sighed and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the boy’s hands. He poured some into his own cup before placing it a little out of reach from the sad bass player next to him, who glared at him.

“I’m sorry, bro. But you’ve been sad for an entire week. We let you be miserable but it’s gotta stop at some point.” Reggie scoffed as he stared at the brown liquid in his cup. “Listen, I know Lisa meant a lot to you and she was amazing and everything but you gotta let go. I know it’s hard, but you gotta forget about her.”

“How can I forget about her when she’s literally everywhere I go?” He nodded to somewhere behind Luke and when he turned his head, he saw the auburn haired girl talking to Carrie on the patio outside. “She’s doing this on purpose,” Reggie said through gritted teeth before chugging the 5 ounces of whiskey.

The guitarist blinked a couple of times, impressed at how Reggie could just throw that back without even flinching the tiniest bit. His ear suddenly picked up at the beginning notes of a song the bassist would always go crazy on at parties. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as an idea popped into his head.

Reaching over the counter, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey again, poured a bit into Reggie’s cup and guided his hand towards his mouth, demanding him to drink it. Confused, but obedient, Reggie threw back the bit of liquor. The burn in his throat felt right. Numbing.

As if on cue, three girls waltzed into the kitchen, singing along loudly to the first verse of the song as they approached the two boys at the counter. A smile befell on Luke’s lips as y/n tapped Reggie’s shoulder and beckoned him towards the dancefloor as Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) by ABBA blared through the house.

Chuckling, and mostly because the alcohol was forcing him to, he obeyed to y/n’s rules. Luke, Flynn and Julie followed behind them, shouting along to the lyrics. The commotion lured the Liquor Kings to the dancefloor as well. This was the song Reggie needed all along.

“Come on, Reg!” Julie demanded as he was moving now, but not belting along to the words like he normally would.

As the chorus floated through the speakers, the magical powers of the ABBA song finally reached his brain and he started to shout the lyrics. The rest of the group threw their hands in the air, cheering the still brokenhearted boy on.

All he needed was his ABBA song to get him loose, to get him to forget all about the girl with the auburn hair. All he needed was his friends and a good party to let loose of all the negative feelings that had been bottled up inside of his chest over the past week.

By the end of the night, all six had to support Reggie as they walked to Julie’s house where they’d crash in the garage. He was singing a remix of all different ABBA songs whilst the others tried to quiet him down. Their giggles tangled up in the shushes and Reggie’s singing, carrying through the fresh, spring air.

“I love you, guys,” he slurred as y/n tucked him on the mattress. “Gimme hug,” he pulled the girl on top of him and held a tight grip on her body as she giggled. His lips pressed a kiss to the crown of her hair whilst she tried to wriggle loose.

“Reg, lemme go!”

“No! It’s cuddle time!” He protested and didn’t let go of his best friend.

“Fine, but at least allow me a bit more air.” Reggie’s arms loosened a little and y/n got situated properly. She laid on top of him, stomachs and chests pressed together, one hand tangled up into his dark hair while the other rested on his chest, next to her head. His arms were wrapped loosely around her.

His eyes were fluttering shut as he mumbled, “Can you stop spinning us around, y/n?” She giggled at his drunken mutters and started drawing patterns on his T-shirt clad chest. It seemed to relax him a bit as a big sigh of contentment expanded his lungs, bringing y/n’s head up with it too. “Goodnight, y/n.”

“Goodnight, Reginald.”

Saturday didn’t count. Everyone was hungover and didn’t want to move at all. So, they just watched movies together all day long in the garage, a tangled up heap of humans. But from Sunday onwards, Reggie was in a whole better mood.

A mood where all he wanted to do was write songs and be productive. So, that’s what he did. Every day he worked on the song; after school, after band rehearsals, even during his free periods. The words, the melody, the beat, it all seemed to just float out of him.

On Friday, Reggie told everyone he’d written a song and wanted their opinion on it. He was both nervous and excited as Luke would never listen to any of the songs Reggie wrote by himself. Though all those songs had always been country songs and Luke didn’t think country fitted the image of the band.

“No, Reggie, we’re not doing country,” Luke repeated for the nth time.

Reggie was fed up with the guitarist’s neglect of his creativity. “Shut your mouth and listen for once, asshole.” His voice was strident and taut. A tone he’d never used. The rest of the group was a little taken aback and exchanged nervous glances while Reggie handed out a sheet of paper with the song worked out on it. He’d used the copier at school to copy the page in his notebook.

They heavily discussed his idea for the melody and listened to his ideas for the beat he wanted until a song floated through the garage. Soon after, Reggie started singing the song too with Julie and Luke throwing in some harmonies that Reggie approved with a smile and a nod.

By the last chorus, everyone had the lyrics down and sang along with the bassist.

“Dance hard, laugh more, turn the music up now Party like a rockstar! Can I get a “what now”? I swear I'll do, anything that I have to Till I forget about… Jump up, fall down, gotta play it loud now Don't care, my head's spinning all around now I swear I'll do anything that I have to… Till I forget about you! Till I forget about you!”

As the music stopped, everyone stayed silent, basking in the adrenaline and the amazement of the song. This was exactly what Julie and The Phantoms sounded like. This was a soon-to-be hit.

“I think we’ve found ourselves our closing number for tomorrow night,” Alex said with a grin from behind his drum kit. The bassist was surprised to see Luke and Julie nod in agreement to the blondie’s statement. Reggie had finally written a song for the band they didn’t immediately dismiss.

They rehearsed the song a couple more times on Friday, and some more on Saturday before their soundcheck to tweak it a little bit until it was perfect and everyone had it down. Now all they needed to do was perform it at the end of their set at The Mint, a gig they landed thanks to their amazing marketing team -- Flynn and y/n -- and the fact the owner was a family friend of y/n’s.

It was a gig. And a gig meant exposure. And exposure meant the possibility of a manager noticing them increasing.

“You guys ready?” y/n asked as she knocked on the door of their dressing room five minutes before kick off. Her eyes darted from an all dolled-up Julie to a shirtless Luke and then to a drumstick-twirling Alex, realizing they were a man short. “Where’s Reggie?”

Luke shrugged as he pulled his T-shirt over his head. “He said he was going to the bathroom, but that was like half an hour ago.” Y/N pulled her mouth into a straight line before turning and leaving the room to find her friend.

Cruising through hallways, she finally stumbled on a room that wasn’t being used by them until she noticed the door ajar. She carefully pushed the door open a little further to find Reggie on the red carpeted floor with his phone in his hands and a tear running down his cheek.

“Hey,” she announced herself as she moved towards him. He looked up at her and offered her a half-hearted smile whilst wiping the tear away. “You’re on in five.” Even though the words screamed urgency, her tone didn’t and her actions didn’t either. She went over to sit next to him, shoulders touching.

“Yeah, I’m ready to go,” he said, but didn’t move.

Y/N’s eyes landed on the phone in his hands, a conversation blinking at her on the screen. At the very top of the conversation was her name and the only message she could read was “I miss you, please come back.” in a bright green.

Her body heaved as she inhaled deeply, “You can do this without her, Reg.” The boy shook his head in objection. “I know you can. This girl is not worth your tears and frustration. She’s not worth anything if she can’t see how amazing you are.” Reggie looked up at y/n, his eyes gleaming with tears as he listened to her words. “If she doesn’t appreciate everything you do for her and how much you cherish her, she’s not worth it.”

The girl fell silent for a moment, anticipating his reaction as their eyes were locked in an intense stare. What he did next was something she hadn’t calculated with the speech she’d prepared in her mind on the spot. His hands lifted to her cheeks and his lips pressed against hers in a spontaneous passionate kiss. He pulled back hesitantly but when y/n kissed back, every doubt in his mind just washed away.

Y/N couldn’t say she had ever thought of kissing her best friend, but at that moment it seemed so comfortable and familiar. Like she’d been doing it for years. Their lips just fit together so perfectly and moved in sync like a choreographed dance.

When they pulled back for air, the back of y/n’s neck was aflame and her lips tingled. The flustered Reggie in front of her coughed as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I-I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

She knew the only reason this happened was because Reggie was so overwhelmed with this broken hearted feelings and she was just there. A smile formed on her lips as she patted his chest and while getting up, she said, “That’s cool, Reginald. Glad I could be of assistance to let go of your frustrations.” She reached out a hand for him. “Now, let’s go rock this place, yeah?” He placed his hand in hers and let her pull him up to his feet. Entangling their fingers, y/n guided him out of the secluded room and backstage to where the others were waiting for their bassist to start their show.

“Sorry, guys!” Reggie said while the sound guy helped him out with his in-ears and another one handed him his bass.

Luke patted him on the shoulder. “You okay, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Reggie answered with a smile that for the first time in two weeks reached his eyes. He glanced over to y/n. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay, ready to go!” Sound Guy 1 said. Y/N and Flynn put their thumbs up to wish them good luck before the band rushed onto the stage, an uproar of cheers erupting from the crowd. They were rowdy tonight. A good omen for an amazing show.

“We’ve got one last song for you guys,” Julie said into her mic with a smile bright enough to light up the whole room as she glanced at Reggie. “You wanna introduce this one, buddy?”

He stepped closer to his mic, a nervous grin spread on his face as he spoke. “This last song is for everyone who has ever felt heartbroken before. Remember that even though it might seem dark and lonely without that one person there, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Follow that light because it will lead you to amazing things.”

The other band members exchanged glances, all with proud smiles plastered on their faces. Reggie had come a long way from two weeks ago and he still had a long way to go, but he was on the right path. As long as he had his friends, his band, his family, by his side, he’d be good. Even better if the girl that stood in the wings on his right was at his side too.

Alex counted them in and Luke and Julie began to play their instruments before Reggie’s voice floated through the venue along with the thumping beat of Alex’ drums.

“Get a call on a random afternoon I pick it up and I see that it's you Like my heart, you were breaking the news, you say It's over, it's over, it's over.”

He looked over at Julie and Luke while his fingers were plucking at the strings of his bass. They shot him an encouraging smile, offering him a little boost of confidence as he continued the verse.

“Heading out, cause I’m out of my mind All my friends are gonna see me tonight Stayin’ here until the sun starts the rise, And I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna…”

The beat went up a notch as confetti cannons went off, covering their entire view in purple butterfly confetti pieces as they slowly whirled onto the dancing and screaming audience.

In the wing to Reggie’s right, Flynn and y/n stood, dancing and singing along to the music with the widest smiles on their faces. A big perk to being the band’s marketing team was definitely the free gigs they benefited from.

Luke then takes the next verse, his growly tone sending some of the girls in the front row into a frenzy. A smirk tugged at his lips upon noticing but then he focused his gaze onto Julie as he sang with her harmonizing.

“And you thought, I'd be here on my own Waiting for you to knock on my door Since you left I don't wait by the phone I'm moving, I'm moving, I'm moving”

Reggie walked over to Alex’s platform. The drummer shot him a toothy smile that could land him a spot in a toothpaste commercial. Reggie really appreciated the support his band gave during performances and with this song in particular.

“Found a place where I can lose myself And just leave your memory on the shelf See I'm fine, no I don't need nobody else Cause I'm, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going…”

When Reggie turned back to his mic, his eyes landed on y/n, and he shot a quick wink her way. Unbeknownst to him, this sent her cheeks aflame and her stomach fluttering. That kiss about an hour ago really wasn’t just something that happened because he was overwhelmed. She actually felt something then. And she’s feeling it now too.

“Dance hard, laugh more, turn the music up now Party like a rockstar! Can I get a “what now”? I swear I'll do, anything that I have to ‘Til I forget about… Jump up, fall down, gotta play it loud now Don't care, my head's spinning all around now I swear I'll do anything that I have to… ‘Til I forget about you!”

The bassist’s eyes now lock onto y/n’s as he sings the bridge towards her. She had barely even recovered from his wink and now he’s staring right through her soul while she had to act like it didn’t even affect her in any shape or form.

“Spending money like you don't mean a thing Going crazy, now don't even think Losing my mind, is all I can do Till I forget about you”

He turned back to the frenzied crowd as he belted out the high note.

The band then played a musical intermezzo. Luke joined Alex at his platform and Reggie stepped up to Julie’s keyboard as she played the synth-sounding notes. The Latina girl was happy to see Reggie in his element again and actually have fun as they played their set. It was a nice change from the otherwise solemn and sad Reggie they were plagued with in the past weeks.

For the first half of the last chorus, they all stopped playing their instruments except Alex. He went wild on the drum solo Reggie had blessed him with while the rest clapped their hands to the beat, getting the crowd to mirror them.

“Dance hard, laugh more, turn the music up now Party like a rockstar! Can I get a what now? I swear I'll do, anything that I have to Till I forget about…”

They picked their instruments up again and continued singing. Even the crowd started to get a hang on the lyrics by now, which hyped Reggie up even more for the rest of the song.

“Jump up, fall down, gotta play it loud now Don't care, my head's spinning all around now I swear I'll do anything that I have to…”

“Till I forget about you!”

Reggie belted out a high note, which made y/n’s heart leap. His voice had always been her favorite sound in the whole entire world but hearing it so confidently coming out of him had her on her toes.

“Till I forget about you”

He turned to y/n again as he sang the very last line with a certain glint in his eyes that she couldn’t quite place.

“I can’t forget about you!”

The band played their very last chords, notes or hit their last cymbals, and when the song rang out, the audience were applauding, cheering and whistling. But Reggie couldn’t bear tearing his eyes off of y/n.

She was smiling at him and he was smiling at her.

Both of them knew that he was okay. He was going to be okay with Lisa being gone because he had y/n by his side. She was the one who changed everything around. She was the one who made him go out to Carrie’s party. She was the one to remind him that he would be okay without the auburn haired girl. She was the one that helped him forget about her. She was the one.

JATP Taglist: @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon @caitsymichelle13 @calamitykaty @wiselight @kcd15 @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @stars-soph @kinda-really-lost @notasofti @alexpjoyner @n0wornever @kaitieskidmore1 @tefilovesreading @happinessinthedarkesttimes

Names crossed out are the ones I couldn’t tag, sorry!

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist!

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #julie and the fat ones #jatp #jatp x btr #jatp x btr week #jatp-btr #reggie jatp #Jeremy shada #reggie x reader #reggie nolastname #reggie fic #reggie imagine #modern day!reggie #alive!reggie #2020!reggie #til i forget about you btr #reggie peters

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whitehotharlots · 3 years

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Things really are this bad

Yesterday, Freddie posted an excellent piece titled “People of Color Have Agency.” It’s free and I encourage you to read it all the way through, but its gist is found in the title: contemporary anti-racism regards non-white people as having no control of their actions, nor any moral culpability for anything they themselves do. Why? Because white supremacy is such an all-encompassing causal force that it prevents non-white people from having human agency. Freddie points out, correctly, that far from being liberating, this conceptualization of race and racism flatly dehumanizes non-white people, and, in doing so, centers the actions and experiences of white people as having determined the entirety of human existence.

From the piece:

I suspect that placing all of the blame for historical crimes on white people is strangely comforting for white leftists: it advances a vision of the world where only white people matter. It says that the sun rises and sets with white people. It suggests that white people wrote history. It assures white people that, no matter what else is true, they are the masters of the world. That all of this is framed in terms of judgment against the abstraction “white people” is incidental. I think if you could strip people down to their most naked self-interest and ask them, “would you be willing to take all the blame, if it meant you got all the power?,” most would say yes. And of course in this narrative people of color are sad little extras, unable even to commit injustice, manipulated across the chessboard by the omnipotent white masters whose interests they can’t even begin to oppose. All of this to score meaningless political points in debates about inequality and injustice.

I don’t have anything especially poignant to add (you really should read the whole piece). He repeatedly assures his reader that some of the more absurd aspects of anti-racism being described actually are real and quite pervasive. This move is necessary because, although his descriptions are objectively correct and plainly obvious, they cannot be articulated with appropriate harshness without it sounding like the writer is exaggerating (a poisonous rhetorical milieu made all the worse by conservative critics who could have a field day simply describing wokeness as it actually exists, but instead understand it in the most idiotic manner imaginable.)

But no, Freddie was not exaggerating. Everything he describes I have seen in person and in print multiple times. There exists, believe it or a not, a sizeable faction of the left that does not believe Imperial Japan was an imperialist power, that expecting non-white people to adhere to basic standards of decency is akin to slavery or genocide, and that black people are so inimically traumatized by historical racism (that such trauma is even literally embedded into their genes) that they cannot follow rules or obey laws. This is the state of liberal antiracism in the early twenty-twenties, and it doesn’t become any less ugly by us pretending that it’s not as bleak than it actually is.

Basically, people belong to two groups: Non-whites are non-entities and therefore sympathetic, blameless victims. Whites, conversely, are all-powerful and therefore the horrors faced by most people all across this blighted planet are caused by the very existence of whites. This understanding is racist, chauvinistic, narcissistic, and dehumanizing. And it’s utterly dominant in anti-racist discourses right now.

I have made this point before, but it bears repeating: whiteness and white supremacy have become conceptually indistinguishable. The former was previously understood as a description of a people’s racial markings and was therefore fluid and inchoate and, progressives once believed, a complete social construct, a fabrication, something that we faced an imperative to stop taking seriously. The latter concept, white supremacy, was used to describe myriad aspects of a pervasive system of racial inequality. A small child can suss out how weakening the conceptual status of the former is an absolutely necessary prerequisite for addressing the urgent concerns posed by the latter.

Instead, however, the contemporary anti-racist left (call them what you want: corporate anti-racists, wokes, neoracists... it’s all the same stuff) has done the exact opposite. Racialization is calcified to the extent that we consider the presence of racial markers to be the sole driving force behind all human interactions. This makes malignancies unchangeable, but that’s beside the point. We’re not actually looking to reform systems and improve the lives of everyday people of color: we are, instead, concerned with burnishing the image of the Democratic party, helping dull grad students get their PhDs, and assisting the book sales of a small handful of the most cynical authors the human race has ever seen.

But this is just all so incredibly absurd. Like... Jesus fucking Christ people, fucking think about this shit for a second or two. Take this piece for instance. It’s not from everydayfeminism or some random tumblr: it’s from the New York Times. It describes an incident in which two black middle school girls were very badly harassed--even urinated upon--by 4 middle school boys. The headline reads “A Racist Attack Shows How Whiteness Evolves.” The catch? The perpetrators of the attack were not white.

Just because the boys weren’t white doesn’t mean they weren’t doin’ some whiteness. Oh no. As the author explains:

While it’s tempting to see the reported ethnicity of the boys suspected in the assault as complicating the story and raising questions about whether the assault should be thought of as racist, I look at it through a different lens. Instead of asking what the boys’ reported racial identity tells us about the nature of the attack, we should see the boys as enacting American whiteness through anti-black assault in a very traditional way. In doing so, the assailants are demonstrating how race is a social construct that people make through their actions. They show race in the making, and show how race is something we perform, not just something we are in our blood or in the color of our skin.

Herein, race is not only real but inevitable, all-pervasive, and unchangeable. And race does not correlate with traditional markings like dialect, place of birth, or skin color. Nosir. Race is behavioral. The stuff this writer dislikes (rightly or wrongly) are what constitute whiteness. The stuff this writer loves (victimhood, and also presumably the Marvel Cinematic Universe) are what constitute non-whiteness.

This idiotic conceptualization leads inevitably to all matter of malignancies--from petty inconveniences to world-historic atrocities--to be understood under the same umbrella, and emanating from the same magical force--a force which, it just so happens, we’ve already established cannot be altered or changed or even understood in a coherent manner. Whoops, sorry. But, hey, this is why it’s good that we don’t want to reform anything even though all we talk about is how bad everything is. Biden 2024, y’all: Keep America Entropic.

If this understanding of anti-racism had been explicitly designed to worsen and perpetuate racism, it could not have done a better job. But it wasn’t--maybe in the upper corridors of the liberal political and NGO sphere some people realized this was a great way to pretend to care about racism without actually changing anything, sure, but a vast majority of the people peddling and accepting this bullshit are earnest in their desire combat racism. They just can’t conceive of doing so in a manner that hasn’t fully internalized the deranged, neurotic mysticism that’s drilled into our heads from birth in order to make us accept the brutal inhumanities of neoliberalism.

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leahseclipse · 3 years

Text

The Reichenbach Fall: Aftermath - Chapter Two: So, What Did We Miss?

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x GN!Reader (With some Fem mentions)

Warnings: S2 FINALE SHERLOCK SPOILERS, Major character death; death topic, mourning, suicide mentions, depression mentions., terrorist attack brief mention (lemme know if I missed stuff.)

Summary: Now that Sherlock is back, explanations are due.

Word Count: 4.6K

A/N: Here's chapter two! As always- if you prefer AO3, click here :)

The weather had even gotten better, as if it only rained to have a full dramatic effect, there was only wind, which didn’t seem to announce a storm, for now. The sound of the leaves being crushed by my feet as I walked was to be heard, as no other sounds were around, it was very quiet today.

The silence did feel weird, I never liked it.

Not when it caused me to think of…

“Got time to spare for me?”

...him.

“Sherlock.”

“I’m not quite into this, usually- but in movies, the scene usually goes like; they stare, probably cry a bit, and run down in each other’s arms. But...the ‘stare part’ is a bit long, is it normal?” Sherlock asked.

“I would like to remind you that you were dead for two years. Hell, you’re still supposed to be dead, I just talked to a grave for the past hour, doing as if you could hear me from wherever!”

“I don’t think it works like tha- oh, imagination.” Sherlock acknowledged, raising his index. “Forgot, sorry.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing if ‘imagining’ doesn’t exist?”

“Being crazy?” He asked. “Sorry, first thought. Doesn’t mean you...actually are, you’re not crazy. Quite the clever kind actually, a tad smarter than-”

“I didn’t ask to be...praised. We’re kind of in the middle of an argument, and also in a cemetery. Which I realize now, and I doubt the dead people here would like to hear us yelling.”

“Probably.” He agreed, as he frowned.

He’s thinking.

“Can I just ask a small favor? I know that’s quite rare for me to do that, but I’m doing that because it’s you.”

“If that’s asking to keep the secret about you not-being-dead-anymore, I don’t know.”

“This could be this too, but it’s not.” He tilted his head, briefly looking down. “Promise not to kill me in the car? It’s just that, dying in a car, and ‘dying’ again would be quite an unfortunate way to decease, if you…”

“...fine. But I can’t promise I will keep that...promise, once we’re somewhere not outside.”

“That’s...fair, I guess. Thank you for...half respecting-” He stopped in his sentence as I gave him the start of a death stare. “...respecting my favor. Sorry, stutter.”

“That’s better...I guess.” I repeated, hearing a small hum from him as we started to walk out the sinister place.

I didn’t even get myself at this moment. Even though he was there, as I wished, it still hurt. He was here, right in front of me, so wasn’t it fine?

“Why do you have dried blood and bruises on your face though?”

“...John hit me.”

“John did?”

“He...did.”

Well that’s new.

“Guess you said something bad to upset him, I never thought he’d ever punch you, you guys are like kindergarten buddies’.”

Sherlock chuckled. “He had a good reason, though. I faked being dead, let him mourn, miss me. I’m even surprised you haven't done that...yet.” He said, looking at me.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Right. Got it, no...tempting.” He nodded, turning his head back in front of him.

Sherlock’s lucky I have an ounce of good in me. I would have given him more than a punch considering what he did. If he wasn’t the famous, amazing detective, and my...friend-crush, he’d be dead and put in the grave he was supposed to be in all that time.

Speaking of that, I wonder if they just left it empty, or if someone was actually there all the time. I hope it’s empty, though. It would creep me out to find out I’ve been threatening an innocent person- considering they didn’t put some random criminal in there.

At least, the positive point of all this is that he won’t have to pay for another grave, which is...a good deal, for a guy like him.

I hope he has a good explanation for this, it’d be a shame to bury him again.

As I opened the front door of the apartment- Sherlock stepping behind me, I walked towards the blinds, pulling them open to let light in. I turned towards him, looking around the room.

“Yeah, by the way, I cleaned the place.” I pointed out. “Everyday. I know you never wanted anyone to touch it, do anything at all, but I did. I guess that was me hoping you’d come back, and I realize that I...kinda hurt myself by coming back here, hoping you’d be in there, or come through the door any second, but you didn’t, for two years. And even if two years seemed enough to realize that you were really dead- I, and probably others, hoped for a miracle. We didn’t stop at all.”

“I do realize I will never be sorry enough, because no amount of apologies would ever make up for two years, or even a month, or a week.” He listed. “I left you, I acknowledge it. But, even if my next words might anger you more...I did it so you wouldn’t be the ones that’d end up dead. Even if I didn’t die, I did make the person after me believe that, I think. And, don’t hit me for that either- but I’d do it again if a great risk was to put you all in danger. Even you. I know that I haven’t been the nicest, which made you believe you were just a girl working with me, but you’re like everyone I’m always with- a friend, that I also consider family, and you still are, you’ll ever be, if building back our relationship happens to take time.” He admitted.

“I don’t even know what I feel about you...about your death, and you...being here, after a whole lot of time. I mean- we all felt your death deep inside us, it wasn’t just ‘wow, we’ve been real sad , but now we can move on and be better, just as no important person if our life didn’t just die!’, you really couldn’t have...let us know without letting anyone know that we knew?”

“You know I would have if I could have!” Sherlock yelled. “I tried to think this through, and this seemed like the only way to solve this without damage. For you guys, mostly.”

“Oh, so, letting John witness his best friend committing suicide, letting him see his body on the bloodied pavement, his head kinda blown out, literally his friend being dead- was ‘without damage’ to you?”

“It seemed like, at the moment.”

“Well guess what, it wasn’t!” I exclaimed loudly.

“Gosh, try to understand, I don’t know, do as if you were a stranger, I don’t know! If a psychopath threatened to kill you, and your friends, or kill your friends to throw the blame on you, what would you do? Because someone would have known if I ever told it. And they would have killed you, all.”

“I could have done it. You know it wouldn’t have been as bad as it was with you, if it had been me.”

“Please don’t say that.” He plastered a saddened look on his face. “You couldn’t have done it instead. No one else could.”

“I could have, if you had let me. You didn’t deserve this.”

“Neither did you.” Sherlock quietly said.

The both of us glanced at the other, not one word coming out of someone’s mouth. Neither of us knew what to do.

He let out a breath, walking to the window, next to me. “...you’re making it feel like you’re not important.”

“That’s because no one is as important as you.”

“That’s not true. You are.”

“You know it wouldn’t have caused this much chaos with me. We needed you more, you weren’t some stupid detective, you were the most qualified, hell, everyone needed you. Lestrade didn’t need us as much as he needed you.”

“He did need you. you know that. You two were qualified enough to function without me. Don’t act as if you’re not smart, please.” He pleaded. “It was mine to deal with, this was between Moriarty...other people...and me, so not even some kind of FBI agent training for 40 years could have done it, or you, or John.” He explained. “I even had to plan how I’d die, how I’d set it up, how I’d hide, not let my presence slip out- I’m not saying you’re imcompetent, but all of this was mine to handle. I wouldn’t have been able to let anyone carry that. And if I had really died, that would have been fine either, because I would have died protecting the ones that mattered.”

“We would have still felt guilty. There’s always heavy consequences in that kind of event. We all searched what went wrong, if we missed anything leading to that, if we let an important detail slip that caused you to do that, or anything else that could have been blamed upon us. We all thought that was our fault.”

“I know. I thought of that. I do regret it, but I had to...jump off that building. If they wouldn’t have seen me die, they would have killed you all. And the same goes for the actual situation now. If they had seen me dead earlier, they would have killed you too.” Sherlock said. “Look, I wish I could have given up being dead and contacted you in some way, but I had to stay hidden until I could come back without risk, without you getting killed.” He specified. “I would have been the one filled with guilt if I risked your lives.”

“You wouldn’t have deserved to die. You still don’t” I quietly said, resting against the wall. “Do you even know how important you are to us? You’re more than a guy we work with.”

“...and I’m grateful for that. But all I’m asking you is to let me explain what happened; see it as a way to show how much you matter to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Moriarty wanted me to die. He summoned me to the rooftop, and...after I found an ‘arrangement’, he killed himself first, leaving me to be the only choice to save my friends . So, I had to jump as I was being watched, and if I hadn’t jumped, they would have killed Lestrade, John, Mrs.Hudson...and you.” He insisted on the last word, looking at me. “So this was better, what was supposed to happen, and the two years weren’t planned. I came back because there probably was...a literal terrorist attack.”

My eyes widened. “What? Aren’t you supposed to…”

“It’s being handled, forget it. It was probably a false alarm”

“We were on the road, Sherlock.”

“It’s far from here.”

“Why aren’t we there, though?”

“Day-off. I’m technically still dead.”

“Not really if people saw you. Plus, I doubt it’s a false alarm if it’s bad enough for you to come back.”

“Other people are handling it. Look, are you worried about them? I’ll send a text right in front of you.” He took his phone out, typing a few characters before hitting the ‘send’ button. “Just wait.” He looked to his right, as his phone emited a sound. “There…”we’re still alive.”

“Better, yeah.” I nodded. “...two years was really long, though. I started to believe you had really died, so I guess it worked.” I exclaimed with a shaky voice.

“Glad to know my plan turned out to be successful. Thanks for giving your review.”

“Quite rare of you to be polite. I do suppose you say ‘please’, and ‘thanks’, but I think you forget to say them out loud.”

“Sometimes, yeah. But I do think of them.” He confessed.

“Hm. But...what led Moriarty to do all of this? I’m not quite sure I have all the details.”

“Oh, that. It began a while ago, before you fully worked with me. The criminal network he was headed for was vast, he was practically everywhere, like a ‘cancer’, so we came up with a plan. Mycroft had...fed him information about me, and in turn he gave us hints, as to the extent of his web.” He explained. “And as you know, we let him go, so he’d acknowledge having the upper hand, which led him to destroy my reputation. But...I had to let him believe he had ‘won’, so he could reveal himself, in a way.” He informed, as he moved around the room. “Once we were on that roof, there were at least 13 likely scenarios, which were rigorously worked out and given code names. But, even if I said that he destroyed my reputation, it wasn’t what he truly needed. What he needed...was for me to die.”

“And then, what?”

“He...basically told me that whatever I’d do with him, nothing would prevent the assassins he had hired to kill you, unless…”

“You’d die.”

“And complete his story.” He added. “But the thing I wasn’t able to know was how far Moriarty was prepared to go. I guess that was my fault, on this one. Our first meeting at the swimming pool should have been enough.”

“What did he tell you, back then?”

“He told me about his death wish. And, realized it. He killed himself in front of me when we were on the roof as I told you, and I didn’t have long until the assassins would arrive, most likely. I contacted my brother, and the whole scene started. Each person around was part of the plan, even the pedestrians.”

“You hired...pedestrians?”

“I needed the scene to look real.”

“This street is always empty, this couldn’t have worked?”

“Um...not really. This had to look real, plus they kinda contributed.” He detailed. “Oh and if, them getting killed is part of your concerns, they didn’t. The three of you, and me, were the real targets, they would have only killed anyone trying to fail their mission. And also, if that’s also a concern, the whole street was closed off, like a scene from a play. No accidental arrivals.”

“I didn’t even know all of this was staged. Even the paramedics were?”

“Even them. They’re the ones who faked checking on me so John wouldn’t reach me once I hit the ground.”

“How did he not see, though?” I questionned.

“Before I jumped?” He asked, as I nodded. “I made sure he stayed behind the building situated in front of the hospital. That way, he couldn’t see that I hadn’t actually fallen on the ground, but on an airbag. From that moment, the airbag needed to be cleared out of the way as John came, and as he needed to see a body, a fake one was thrown out of the window.”

“And...what refrained him from running to the body?”

“A well-timed cyclist. He ran into him, giving me the time I needed to exchange places with the corpse, and the rest was only ‘makeup’, I couldn’t be white as a sheet, there had to be blood because of how hard I fell. And, before you ask, what refrained him from feeling my pulse once he had reached me was simply a squash ball under the armpit.”

“You made it sound so…”

“Emotionless? Easy? You could say that.”

“I’d say it’s that. But the moment must have been...I don’t know, between you hearing John, and him feeling helpless upon seeing you.” I said. “Be glad I wasn’t there, because you know I wouldn’t have stayed, the plan would have failed because of me.”

“I know you would have listened, anyway. Don’t underestimate yourself, you’re smarter than you think you are, actually.”

“Compared to you, not really close.”

“If Sherlock Holmes himself tells you that you are smart, it’s not a joke, especially if I say it more than once.”

“Promise you’re not lying?”

“Always.” He promised.

“If you’re always going to be this nice, I might even give up on killing you.”

“Oh, please. Killing me. That’s so two years ago.” He stated, looking right at me as a small grin drew across his face.

“Careful, that can always stay an option. I said that I might, not that I will.”

“I’ll sleep with one eye from now on, then.”

“Then be it, I guess.” I defied, letting my eyes fall on the ground after a few seconds. “I missed having you around.” I admitted with a small voice.

“I’m sorry I made you sad, that wasn’t my intention. I swore that it’d never hurt anyone else other than me, and yet- look at us now.”

“We’re kind of broken, isn’t it?”

“You could say that.”

“Do you think we’ll ever fix it?” I asked, with teary eyes.

“Most likely. Even if that takes years.” He walked towards me, taking a breath before fixing his gaze on me. “I hope that’s the case, I don’t want to keep hurting you.” He confessed, gently taking my hand.

“And I hate not having you around.” I responded, getting up from my spot as I enlaced my arms around his waist, holding tight.

“I’ll do my best to not disappear again.” He spoke out, putting one arm across my back, while the other went on the back of my head, slowly, as if he wasn’t totally at ease with it. “This shows how much you count, I’d never do that usually.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t ruin the moment.”

“You’re even taking your behavior from mine, what’s next? My job?”

“Who knows? I’ve been doing a lot these last two years.”

“I’m sure you’re capable of becoming better than me in less time, and before you throw back the compliment, don’t. This is me...trying to be nice.” He explained, lightly tapping my head before we broke off.

“Thank you for...explaining. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Thank you for…not killing me?” He thanked me, slightly unsure.

“You’re welcome, Holmes.”

“Have you been doing well...lately? I figured we haven’t talked much about your feelings.”

“Oh, that.”

I wish he could be more precise, but he doesn't even know of the ‘other’ feelings, which are more of the love kind.

“...I don’t even know if there’s much, to be honest.” I admitted, looking at him. “I mainly wished it could have been me. A world without you seemed impossible, a great loss, almost unfixable. There was no one else like you, and I...even thought about dying, myself. I was in a really bad place. I even started to do as you weren’t dead, I’d go to your apartment and unconsciously wait for you to return, everyday.”

It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

“And if you hadn’t come back for another two or three years, I would have believed it, fully- even if a part of me would think it wasn’t possible. Nothing can kill you, you’ve basically survived everything, and I do know you have moments of weakness like everyone, but you’ve always done your best to stay strong, no matter how difficult it was. And me...I’m not like that. I always have a hard time with some cases, and I always stand behind John and you so by the time you look at me, I’m good as new, as if I didn’t start to cry.” I detailed, fidgeting with my hands. “But...when you died, I didn’t cry, I kept all my feelings in a bottle, most of the time. I attempted to keep my head straight, for you, which was after a bit of time. I mostly wish it had been me...instead of you, and I’m aware of what I could have done, to make the pain go away.”

“I really caused a lot of damage, which seems pretty difficult to chug down for now, I lied about a big thing, and I can’t be sorry enough. I know that we can’t make life go back to normal, because nothing will erase this, or make it get forgotten- considered it’s all over the internet now.”

“You’re trending on Twitter?”

“Pretty much...seems like it- the press must have seen me. This will make things quite unpleasant, they’ll probably harass you guys as well, gosh.” He complained, running his hands through his hair.

“What’s ten more journalists? I’m used to it anyway. Besides, we’ve already got a lot of stuff in our hands, and will probably have more. Lestrade is gonna blow your phone again.”

“We do have a lot, including having a talk with him. There’s no way he’s getting away with that, you two are the best I have ever worked with.”

“I was going to say it’s quite rare from you but, I’ll just take the compliment.”

“I mean it, so it’s a good one.” He quietly chuckled. “Is our fight over...or?”

“I’d say so? I mean, there’s gonna be some ‘getting-used-to-you-again’ moments, of course, and some explainings, but I’d say we’re cool, yeah.”

“Then um...is it a good moment to announce that John and Mary are getting engaged? I didn’t want to announce it in the middle of a...death, well- fake death topic.”

“They are? When did they even-”

“Oh, at the visit I paid them. He was most likely about to do it, but then we talked, I said a ‘joke-y’ thing…”

“And he punched you.”

“Right.” He confirmed.

“Let me guess, you don’t have anyone to go to the wedding with?��

“Exactly.”

“And I guess that the person that’d fill the vacant spot to go with you...is me? “

“Correct? I mean, if you’d be okay with it.”

“Well I’ve never been to a wedding so...that’d be a great experience.” I admitted.

“As we say, ‘there’s a first for everything’. Plus, I can call Mary now.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You see, she had to stay with John, to talk him out of killing me, and other stuff that bores me, and she asked me to talk to you, and ask if you wanted to be her wedding attendant...and you said yes.”

“Did you ask me just because Mary asked you to? I feel like there’s another reason for that.”

“Is this really necessary?” He complained.

“I’m asking so...yeah. I guess.” I assumed.

“Fine, I wanted to have you with me. The thought of being with a friend of hers for a whole day annoys me, and I don’t want to have to pretend to have a good time, only to disappoint her at the end of the day.” He sighed. “And yes, I do have a small amount of compassion for people, even if they are all infuriating to the root.”

“Work on it, because people tend to think you’re embarrassed, or have no interest in having a conversation with them.” I advised. “But...I’m glad you thought of me. I’ll be attending this event with you with immeasurable pleasure, Holmes.”

“You just saved the day, I appreciate it. Call me by my name, though. I know you use Holmes as a nickname, but you have the ‘close associate privilege’, use it.”

“Did you just invent this?”

“Probably. Probably not, who knows. Invent your own words, it’s not forbidden by the law, plus who is going to stop us? The queen? Pff, let her try to catch me.”

“Hm, fair enough.” I agreed. “Although, I don’t get why you dislike ‘Holmes’, I’ll attempt to use it less to please you then, Sherlock.”

“It's very kind of you, Detective.”

“Pff, you’re a child.”

“A grown child then, I’d even say I’m superior, whether I’m speaking of now or when I used to be like them.”

“They’re children, chill.”

“That is quite a complicated task to ask, I do not accept being inferior to a toddler.”

“Come on, it’s a child, don’t be so harsh.”

“Quite complicated, once again.”

“Is there anything that’s not complicated? Something?”

“You.”

“What do you mean...by ‘you’?”

“You know it, you’re nice to be with, easy to talk to, understand, I’ve never had issues when it comes to being with you.”

“Woah, that’s...surprising?”

“I do agree that I’m not that open with everyone, you’re simply part of the few people that I can talk more deeply with. The others just get their whole behavior analysed along with harsh critics, you guys are lucky...even if I used to do that when I met you.”

“I still remember it. You don’t take criticism from a renowned detective in a good way, usually.”

“It’s not really to be taken in a mean way, mainly to be honest so I don’t hurt any feelings later on.”

“People actually tend to see it in a mean way.” I confessed.

“Do they?” He questioned.

“Yes.”

“I wasn’t aware of it.”

“And you’re most likely going to erase that from your memory because you don’t like it.”

“Correct, again. I prefer to be honest, always.”

“I know you do. But you weren’t harsh enough to push us away, we’re still supporting you, years after. You’re gonna have to try harder than this.”

“Is this a challenge?”

“If you’d like to see it that way, it can be.” I offered.

“Then I accept it, dear Detective.”

Even if I would like to ask him to call him by my name as I don’t get to do that with ‘Holmes’, I do like when he calls me detective.

It does give me a special feeling, and I miss smiling at that.

“You do know it’s nearly impossible?”

“Oh, please. Did I ever step down because it was ‘impossible’? I’m not anyone.”

“I do know. It’s just that it’s not going to be easy, you tried doing it when we met, and I’m still here.”

“It was just a small joke, this one is more real.”

“Is it? You’ve been failing for years, are you going to make it now?”

“One-hundred percent sure.” He informed me.

“Well then, I wish you good luck on this task, Sherlock.” I wished.

“I appreciate the kind gesture, Detective.”

“So do I.” I answered. “Anyway...what now?”

“We can either go see John again, hoping he won’t punch me- or we can stay here and talk about anything, even come back on my fake death, you can play the role of a journalist- whatever, I guess.” He said, seeming either embarrassed, or out of ideas.

“I say we let him lose his temper, we’ll see tomorrow.”

“I’d hope you’d not choose to see him, thank god. That’s why I like working with you, you always make the right choices.”

“I told you I was special.”

“And years later, you’re still right.” He agreed. “Can you take some water though? I talked a lot, you see.”

“I knew it. It was so weird that you didn’t ask for something for me to do.” I complained, walking to the kitchen.

“Don’t be mad, you have to drink too.”

I quickly came out of the kitchen, letting my bust stick out. “Yeah but who’s getting the glasses? Not you.” I pointed out, getting back inside.

“Strangely I do not have anything to say. You beat me this time.”

“Told you I’m the best!” I yelled, grabbing the glasses as I exited the room. “Man, I get to tell everyone I beat you, isn’t that great?”

“It’s a pretty good thing to brag about. You can be proud.” He offered a smile, settling into a seat. “Come on, we still have a lot to catch up on.” He said, as I set down the glasses on the low table, sitting down. “So, what did I miss?”

I don’t even know if I ever said it today, but; it’s good to have you back home, Sherlock.

|Chapter Three|

#lexies sherlock #sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes fic #sherlock holmes fanfiction #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock fic #sherlock bbc #john watson #mycroft holmes #james moriarty

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lakesandquarries · 3 years

Text

Tangled Up - Chapter Two

oh, i’m gonna mess this up

Benrey’s spent 26 years living in a tower - 27, tomorrow. When a thief breaks into his tower, he finds his chance to escape and takes it.

Alternatively: Tangled, but the AI is self aware.

(featuring art by @kenas-artstuff )

Notes: check ao3 for warnings and tags! “kane radio” is just gordon using a fake name. fic title from “tangled up” by caro emerald, chapter title from “shots” by imagine dragons.

AO3 Link

It’s nice to be back at Black Mesa. Well, mostly nice. Gordon shuts the door behind Benrey only to immediately spot a wanted poster, the only thing making it unrecognizable a bizarre mullet. Do people seriously think he looks like that??

“Hey, Mr. Radio!” a voice calls from behind the counter. Kane rips the paper off the door, rushing across the room.

“Hi Darnold it’s great to see you shut the fuck up please -”

And that’s when he gets grabbed from behind. He barely sees Darnold’s eyes widen before he’s spun around, now facing an absolute mountain of a man. Behind him, he hears Darnold slap something - his forehead, probably - and mutter a quiet. “oh, right.”

He loves Darnold, he really does. Being friends with someone since you were kids will do that. Right now, though, he kind of wants to throttle him.

“Kane Radio, hm?” the main holding him says, ripping the wanted poster out of his hands. The thief glances around awkwardly, his eyes finally falling onto Benrey struggling to pull his hair back into his possession.

"H-hey, he'd appreciate his hair not being touched, guys!", Kane exclaimed, to help his partner as well as pull away from his attention. It works for a moment, as Benrey tugs the last strands of hair away and marches up to the guy holding Kane, unintimidated despite the height difference.

“Hey,” Benrey says quietly as he walks up next to the man. “Put him down? Please and thank you?”

Mountain man snorts. “Not likely. I need the reward money. Hey, you! Go get the guards!”

One of the other men nods, slipping out of the tavern as an argument breaks out. Kane is pushed and pulled, various thugs grabbing him and insisting they need the money, they deserve it most, as the bar descends into chaos.

A loud, meaty thwack! breaks up the argument. Kane’s dropped on his ass, and when he looks up, Benrey has his crowbar against Mountain man’s arm. “I said put him down.”

Kane rolls off to the side, dodging another man’s grabbing hands, and stands up so he can dart back over to Benrey and push him out of the way. “Hey, appreciate that, don’t get me wrong, but - Benrey, what the fuck?”

Behind the counter Darnold is glaring, grabbing a cup and a spoon to try and get everyone’s attention. Black Mesa housed a fighting ring once upon a time, but that got stopped when Darnold took over. It doesn’t matter now - even with Darnold yelling, everyone’s too riled up. Kane has to duck down to avoid a punch, only to immediately get kicked in the face. A hand grabs his arm and he swings instinctively, stopping at the last second when he realizes it’s just Benrey, pulling him off to the side.

“What the fuck,” Kane repeats.

“Being polite didn’t work,” is Benrey’s only explanation.

Darnold is still yelling, trying desperately to get some sense of calm as the crowd beats the shit out of each other. And then - just as quick as it started, it’s over. Screams dissolve into laughter as the assembled patrons dust themselves off, seemingly satisfied with the amount of violence they've had.

"It's been too long since we've had a fight like that," Mountain man says. "Nice job."

Benrey blinks up at him. "Whuh?"

Gordon agrees with him. Wiping blood from his nose, he mutters a quiet “What?” as well.

“Should’ve been longer,” Darnold complains. “You know I hate this kind of behavior! I have half a mind to throw you all out.”

"We'll clean it up, Danny, don't worry,” another, very skinny guy cheerfully responds, followed by a roar of laughter.

“Darnold,” the bartender corrects sharply as he sets to cleaning the place up, picking up overturned chairs and mopping up spills and sweeping up broken glass.

Turning back to Mountain man, Kane asks, "Just to be clear. Does this mean you won't tear me and my friend apart anymore?"

“Are you kidding? That’s the most fun I’ve had in years! Darnold never lets us do stuff like that. Real shame, considering how this place st -“

He’s cut off by someone slamming the door open. “I brought the guards!”

Apparently ten seconds of peace is the max he’s allowed. “Shit shit shit,” Kane wheezes, grabbing Benrey’s arm as Darnold directs them behind the door. The massive dog from earlier, the one who had chased him through the forest and up Benrey’s tower, is here. And it’s pissed. Kane’s heart drops as he watches it sniff around, following the trail of his footsteps.

Darnold pulls on a lever, revealing a ramp down into a stone tunnel. “You’re lucky you’re my friend,” he says as he ushers them through it. Benrey hesitates, but Kane pulls him through anyway, into some kind of cave system. The walls are dark stone, rough and natural. This is something old, and hopefully, it’ll cover them.

He exhales slowly, adrenaline still rushing through him. “Shit,” he mutters again. “That was close.”

“Who were those guys?” Benrey asks. The raccoon on his shoulder chirps.

“Guards. Royal guards. They, uh….they don’t like me much.”

“You stole something?”

“Big something.”

Benrey nods, apparently satisfied with the answer. The raccoon chirps again, and Benrey mumbles something in response to it. Because his day is just going so normally, he needs to listen to his weird...escort mission talk to his fucking raccoon as they run from guards.

Metal clanks behind them, and Kane picks up the pace, until he’s running down the tunnel. It opens into a cliffside, with no way down. “Fuck!”

“There’s a guy down there,” Benrey points out, and Kane bites back another string of curses when he realizes it’s fucking Forzen. He’d abandoned him after stealing the royal helmet. Betrayal’s nothing new between them, but this is recent enough that Forzen’s probably still pissed.

“That’s Forzen. He doesn’t like me much either.”

It’s then that the guards burst out of the tunnel and several things happen all at once. Benrey shoves his crowbar at Kane, and before he can question why Benrey is giving him his only weapon, he’s tossing his hair across the canyon like a grappling hook and running off the ledge.

Before he can even ask why Benrey would possibly give him his only weapon, he watches in horror as his partner takes flight. He doesn’t have time to check if Benrey’s alright - the guards are on his ass. The crowbar makes a satisfying thwack! as he swings it, taking down the guards in barely an instant. “Fuck, this is handy. Need to get me one of these!” Kane comments to himself, looking to see who’s left. One opponent remains - the dog, who is now holding a sword.

Because his day just cannot get any fucking weirder.

“You should know this is the weirdest thing I have ever fucking done!” Kane yells to Benrey, as he battles the dog, sword to crowbar, until the dog knocks it right out of his hands and down the cliff. “Two out of three?”

A lock of black hair wraps around his hand. Kane grins, giving the dog a salute as he’s pulled into a free fall. “Ha! Get fuc - hhhh.” His words dissolve into a wheeze, as his trajectory slams him into an exposed beam, knocking the wind out of him.

Kane, struggling to get a grip of himself, only just manages to hold on to Benrey while he swings down with his support. His feet connect with the water pipes, sliding down unsteadily as they collapse underneath him, and then the entire dam breaks. It happens in a flash, an enormous amount of water - it feels like the whole ocean when Kane glances back - pouring down into the valley. Rocks fall, the last of the wooden constructions collapsing. With a couple of leaps, Kane reaches an already running Benrey, and scoops up the last bit of his hair flailing behind him. "Benrey! Benrey, into the cave!" he shouts, hoping the other would get understand the general direction they have to run.

---

Benrey grabs the crowbar as he darts after Kane, barely avoiding getting crushed by the massive rock that comes crashing down and seals them into the cave. The walls are stone, not like the bricks of his tower but a random arrangement of rocks and boulders forming a lumpy wall. There’s a puddle of water on the floor, only as he looks it starts to grow, up over Benrey’s feet, his legs, creeping higher and higher. He looks around the cave frantically, spotting the trickles of water coming in past the rock that sealed them in. The only obvious opening, but the water is like another force behind it, pressing it shut like Benrey used to try and hold his door shut. The rock is stronger than him. No matter how hard he slams with his crowbar, there’s not even a dent. He turns his attention to the rest of the cave, alternately smashing and prying at the walls, but they hold firm. There’s nothing. Not a single loose rock, nothing resembling a weak point, not even a crack he can widen into an exit.

The water’s at his waist now. His breathing sharpens, small panicked inhales as he realizes there’s no way out. They’re trapped, with water climbing higher and higher. The water is murky, making the already dim space feel smaller and darker with each second.

Zeki was right. Kane’s gonna die here with him in this stupid fucking cave, all because Benrey wanted to see some lights.

“This is all my fault,” he mumbles, tugging on a strand of hair. “I never should’ve - she was right, this whole time, I just -“

Kane’s hands grip his shoulders, firm but gentle, forcing him to look at the thief’s face. "Benrey, don't blame yourself. Sometimes things go bad...that's how life works. It's - it's gonna be ok." In a different context it might be comforting. Right now, they’re about to die, and Kane’s voice is shaking.

Benrey’s voice is choked when he responds. “I’m sorry, Kane.”

"Gordon.” Benrey tilts his head, and Kane drops his hands from his shoulders with a sigh. “It's - my real name is Gordon Freeman. I made up Kane. You might as well know it now."

“Feetman?” Benrey asks with a shaky smile.

“If we weren’t trapped in a cave I’d hit you with your crowbar,” Kane - Gordon? - Gordon says. For the briefest of seconds, he smiles at Benrey.

“I, uh. I have magic hair that glows when I sing,” he says. Keeping a secret doesn’t matter when they’re both about to die. Gordon furrows his brows, looking questioningly at Benrey, and a sudden burst of inspiration hits as he repeats himself. “I have - oh shit!” He starts singing, voice shakier than normal as he races through the song. “Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine -“ The water is still rising, and maybe it’s his imagination but it feels even faster. “Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine -”

The last line gets cut off as the water fills the cave completely. He’s never tried singing underwater before, and for a moment he’s terrified it won’t work - and then his hair lights up, a bright neon teal, illuminating the cave. Gordon swims down to the bottom, pushing aside rocks desperately. He finds one that’s loose enough, dislodging it, and the rest follow suit. The wall starts to crumble before collapsing completely, launching the two of them into a river, the current quickly sweeping them downstream and onto a grassy bank.

Benrey drags himself out, flopping limply onto the grass, taking deep breaths as he stares up at the sky. “We’re alive,” he breathes, looking over at Gordon. He likes that name better, now that he has a spare moment to think about it. Laughter bubbles up out of him, along with bright yellow-green. Olive means I’m glad to be alive.

Beside him, Gordon is less chill, elbows on the grass and hands in his hair. “His hair glows,” he’s mumbling. “He - hhh - his hair? Glowing - glowy shit - people don’t glow!” From there his words just get more and more incoherent as he stares at the ground.

With a huff, Benrey stands up, starting to squeeze the water out of his hair. Jefferem shakes himself dry, splashing water onto Gordon. “You good?” Benrey asks.

“Am I - are you good?? What the fuck was that? How long have you been - ow, fuck -” He pulls his right hand close to himself, and when he holds it out again Benrey sees blood, bright red against the brown skin. He must’ve cut himself on a rock or something.

Benrey offers a hand to help Gordon get up, so he doesn’t put pressure on the injured one. “Lets, uh. Find somewhere to dry off first and then we can play 20 questions?” Or, maybe, if he stalls long enough, Gordon will forget whatever he wants to ask and Benrey can keep pretending like he’s a person.

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #benrey #gordon feetman #frenrey #benrey hlvrai #cora writes #tangled au #tangled up #adventures of cora.

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stellar-imagines · 4 years

Text

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝unpleasant news.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Todoroki Shouto ]

「Scenario of Todoroki’s S/O being critically injured by villains and she doesn’t come to class one day and suddenly their phones all go off with the breaking news report about what happened.」

TODOROKI SHOUTO

"The convenience store? At this hour?" Todoroki questioned.

Todoroki took a moment to glance over at the clock sitting on his desk. It was quite late at night and not the time for you to be going out to the convenience store. He put down the pencil that he had been using to do his homework and picked up his phone before heading to his futon that was spread out on the ground. He made himself comfortable before putting his phone on speaker. He could hear you moving about in your room, grabbing a few things before leaving. He could even hear you telling your mother that you were going to head out soon.

On the other hand, you were busy putting on your shoes, your mother reminding you to be careful on your way out, even though the store was just a few minutes away. The two of you had the habit of calling each other before going to bed so calling at this hour wasn't that uncommon at all. There was just something romantic with calling before bed and Todoroki seemed to be quite fond of doing something like this every day. He believes that hearing your voice before ending the day was such a wonderful thing.

"My mom used up all of the eggs and soy sauce for dinner and those are kind of a necessity for tomorrow's breakfast so....." you were walking down the empty streets, looking left and right before crossing roads.

"Ah, I see. Anyway, be careful. I'll see you tomorrow at school." Todoroki said.

You said your goodbyes before putting away your phone. There were still a few cars here and there but the road was still devoid of people. The store itself was empty, there were only employees present at the moment, most were seen chatting by register while the rest busied themselves with cleaning. Upon your arrival, the staff greeted you warmly. You quickly bought what your mother had requested, along with some snacks that you will be having for yourself. When you finished shopping, your mom has asked about your whereabouts while Todoroki texted you to call him once you got home and told you to stay safe. You replied to both texts while you were still inside the store.

On the way home, you heard a bit of rustling by the alleyway ahead of you, followed by a few voices. You thought nothing much about it until three figures emerged from the alleyway which made you stop abruptly. Two were men, both donning a mask the covers half of the lower face. The last one was a female who looked like she was being dragged away against her will, judging from the small cuts on her arms and the bruises. She looked no older than 30 years old who looked like she worked at a company. It didn't take long for you to understand what's going on.

"I thought you said that no one uses this road at night!"

"And I thought I told you that it depends!"

The two suspicious men argued with one another while you took the chance to assess the current situation. It was late at night and then chances of other heores coming is very slim. You put aside your bag and got into a fighting stance. Without warning, you lunged forward to secure the victim while they were still arguing amongst themselves and leaving themselves open. They both looked genuinely surprised at how quick you acted and immediately turned towards you. The villains attempted to attack you but you blocked their attack and stepped back. The woman stirred awake from all the noise and movement.

"You're awake. That's great. You don't seem to have major injuries, please rest assured and let me handle this." you smiled gently at the woman who was still trying to comprehend what was going on.

"Judging from the way you move.....you must be a hero in training."

"Don't blame us if you get hurt."

With that, you exchanged blows with the two unknown masked figures.

The next day was a nice and clear day. Todoroki finds himself quite disturbed at how nice the day was, he woke up feeling extremely exhausted and noticed that he still had his phone in hand. He quickly got up to ready himself for school, putting his phone aside and kicking off the blankets. By the time he stepped out of the house, he had his eyes on his phone. In the end, you didn't give him a call once you got back home. Todoroki assumed that you probably didn't want to disturb him and decide to leave him alone to sleep. Then again, he could see you at school anyways.

"Good morning, Todoroki-kun!"

He heard Midoriya's voice while he was changing his shoes by the lockers. Following the green-haired male were Uraraka and Iida who were waving at Todoroki as well.

"Oh, everyone.....Good morning."

"Uwah, what's with that tired look on your face?" Uraraka questioned.

"I was just thinking about something." the bicolored haired male replied.

The four students headed to Class 1-A, only to see that their classmates chatting with one another. Todoroki headed to his seat at the back, paying no heed to whatever was going on within the classroom. His phone vibrated within his pocket, a bit too violently that it annoyed him a bit. It wasn't until he sat down that he pulled out his phone He finds a few messages from his older siblings, others were notification from other apps that told him about the most recent news. In the group chat he was in, which had all Fuyumi and Natsuo in it, had numerous notifications. It seemed like the two were calling for him. He scrolled up and found a link to a certain page. There he saw a video of a live broadcast from just a minute ago.

"This just in! The police and pro heroes had managed to capture two villains who have been wreaking havoc for the past month." the loud volume was enough to attract a few people's attention. A few students gathered around Todoroki to see what was going on. On display was a video of civilians surrounding the site while the police tried to keep them in check.

"The two villains were famous slave traders, attacking at random patterns which threw the police force and pro heroes off guard with their timing. Here we are, interviewing the victim from last night." the camera then switched over towards a woman who was seated at the back of the hospital, fresh bandages littering her arms and some on her face.

"I remember going home and suddenly, I was pulled into the alleyway. After that, everything was blurry but I was saved by a hero. She was really kind and prioritized my safety. Even though she was still a student, I could tell that she's going to be a great hero someday. She was critically injured when I finally regained consciousness but at that moment the villains were already defeated, yet she still tended to my injuries and even called an ambulance for me. Although it might not be enough, I would like to pay for her hospital bills." the woman had a solemn yet sad look on her as if she could feel someone else's pain.

"The student turned out to be a first-year student from the hero course of UA. She goes by the name [Last Name] [First Name]....."

After that, everything became silent for Todoroki. The news was too heavy for him to take in right now. He managed to put all the pieces together. The reason as to why you didn't bother to even send him a message. His classmates began talking amongst themselves while keeping their eyes onto Todoroki's phone screen. They were so focused on the news that they failed to notice that their homeroom teacher had entered the classroom, ready to start school.

"What are you all doing? Put your phones away, it's time for homeroom." Aizawa put down his attendance book onto the table.

"Sensei! Did you know about this?" Kaminari showed the teacher his phone which had an article that contained information about your heroic deeds and hospitalization. Aizawa looked at the phone for a few moments before looking at everyone in the class to see their expressions. As expected, everyone was worried. You were one of the lively students in the class that can change the mood so this was expected.

"I know that you're all worried but there's nothing you can do about it. Let the pros handle it. You all can go visit her after school so just be quiet and pay attention because I'm not gonna repeat this again." Aizawa quickly changed the direction of the conversation and finished off homeroom. Throughout the entire day, everyone was quite worried about you.

During lunch break, Todoroki had the chance to use his phone and the first thing he did was call you. However, it was your mother who had picked up instead. Judging from how relaxed your mother sounded, Todoroki could deduce that you're not in a serious condition. Your mother had told him what he needed to know, which includes your well being and a detailed explanation of what exactly happened last night. He hung up once he heard his classmates calling him to go back to class. After he sat down on his seat and pulled out his textbook, he made a mental note to go to the bakery to buy your favorite stuff before visiting you.

As soon as classes ended, Todoroki was already packing his things as fast as possible. Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka had stopped him before he had left, telling the bicolored haired male that they wanted to visit you as well. They stopped by the bakery by the train station before taking a 5-minute walk to the hospital. By the time they arrive, the sky’s color had changed. The receptionist was kind enough to guide the four students to your room despite the busy schedule she probably has. The moment they arrived in front of the room you were resting in, a nurse exited the room with a few papers in hand.

”Oh, you all must be [Last Name]-san’s visitors. Thank you for coming so far to visit but it's not the right time. She’s currently resting after an operation. Sorry but perhaps, maybe you can come to visit tomorrow.” the nursed smiled apologetically at the four. Iida shook his head, telling the nurse that there’s no need to apologize for something she couldn’t control.

Though they were disappointed, they knew that it was best to not disturb your slumber and let you get as much rest as you possibly could. Todoroki voiced out that he wanted to stay and said something about wanted to see you. Uraraka handed him the flowers she, Midoriya, and Iida had bought together, telling him to say hello for her in case you wake up. The three said their goodbyes before heading towards the elevator. The nurse guided the bicolored haired male into the room and drew the curtains together. Once he was within your room, he took a moment to study the interior.

The hospital wasn’t unfamiliar to him at all, since he often visited his mother during the weekends. But, he decided to explore the room. There was a wall-mounted TV right in front of your bed, it looked like the latest model. A window giving him a view of the world below. In the corner were two chairs with a short, rectangular coffee table. Todoroki set down the bag that held your favorite desserts and placed the flowers in the vase. He dragged the chair next to your bed and sat down, eyes fixated on your sleeping form. He felt useless. He reached for your hand, feeling how cold it was beneath his fingertips.

"She has internal bleeding and suffered temporary blood loss. When she came in, she was bleeding all over but thankfully, we had a donor. The doctors say that they're unsure when she will wake up but for now, they did all they can." the nurse assured Todoroki after seeing the frown etched onto his face. The nurse excused herself and left the room.

All he could think was how he could've prevented this if he offered to accompany you last night. Seeing you on the hospital bed reminded him of how dangerous being a hero actually is and how fragile a person's life was. He squeezed your hand gently, silently hoping that you would wake up and return the gesture. What if you never wake up? What would happen if you were to disappear completely from his life? From your family and friends? He didn't know when he started relying on your comfort and reassuring words.

You were like a ray of sunshine, devoid of impurities, and darkness. When he was at his lowest and angry at himself for getting riled up at the thought of his father, you were there for him. You didn't have to say anything to make him feel at ease. You would do it unconsciously, coming into his room and surprising him with some baked goods or sneaking up on him to give him a hug. Though they were only little things, it was enough to cheer him up. Your presence itself was a blessing in disguise.

He hoped that he treated you well enough.

But he knows that you're strong and that you will pull through. Todoroki knows what he should do now. He should take care of himself and be the one to take care of you once you wake up. It may not be enough to repay you for all the times you stayed with him but it was the least he could do.

"I'll come back tomorrow."

Hopefully by then, you'll be awake.

Total: 2323 words Published: 27.08.2020

Thank you to those who participated in the poll!

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ We did our best with this scenario and it turn out as angsty as we thought. And we didn’t really make that sad hospital scene. But we hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! There’s a lot of things we could’ve improved but we didn’t really know what we should do. Hope you liked it, anon! ― author Natsuki

Requests are open! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years

Text

Okay, here we go! Imma do my liveblog of The Hunger Games, Chapter One, for #THGagain :

I’ll put my thoughts underneath the cut so I don’t clog up the dash 🥳

Okay but right off the bat, Katniss says her mattress cover is rough 🥺. I don’t know, this just made me sad all of a sudden.

So okay, but the fact that Prim had a bad dream and climbed in with their mother? I don’t know if that indicates that Prim still sees their mother as a source of comfort whereas Katniss can’t let herself feel the same way or if it’s just because she didn’t want to wake Katniss.

Maybe it’s supposed to be that Prim is too naive to understand that their mother is mentally fragile? Since in Mockingjay, she says “I know there’s only so much mother can hear,” or something like that, as a way to prove she’s not a little kid anymore sooo. I don’t know. Just some thoughts.

Katniss is shady towards mama right off the bat 🤣. Katniss is shady no matter what though. It’s what makes her narration sound like a teenage girl.

If Katniss is so anti-social though, who’s telling her her mother was once beautiful?

As a cat lover, I take offense to Katniss’ insults to the poor one eyed furball 😭.

So coal miners are also women? I suspected as much but I didn’t realize it was explicitly stated? So if Katniss’ life had gone differently, would she have become a coal miner?

So none of the houses in Twelve get electricity outside of a couple hours a night? Or just in the Seam?

I always forget that Katniss had nightmares even before the games 😔😔😔. Nightmares of her father “being blown to bits.” She has a vivid way with words.

Her father made her bow 🥺🥺. I knew that. I just thought I should mention it again. She uses the bow her father handmade throughout the series 🥺.

Also she says Peacekeepers turn a blind eye to “the few of them who hunt”. A few is more than two. Who else besides Katniss and Gale go hunting?

I like that she randomly starts mumbling to herself 🤣🤣🤣

Once upon a time, Katniss was outspoken apparently. But she mentions that she has to hold her tongue even at home because Prim may repeat her words. I don’t know why, but Prim seems immature for twelve years old. At twelve, in today’s society, you’re going into sixth grade. A sixth grader should know how to keep a secret or hold her tongue.

Gale says she never smiles but in the woods but isn’t that the only place they really spend time together? 🤣

“I kind of liked that lynx but I liked the money I got for it’s pelt more” 😂😂😂

An arrow inside bread. How fortuitous 😭😭😭

I do love that Katniss’ first introduction of Gale is “he could be my brother”

“But we’re at least not that closely related” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

“Katniss, get off your cousin”

Even though the merchant class is smaller

Meaning they’re even more inbred

And Katniss is half merch-

Okay I’m done with this line of thinking 🤭😅

So backwoods 🤣

So did Mrs. Everdeen’s parents disown her? Or what? Do they still own that apothecary shop? Does Katniss occasionally walk by her grandparents in the town square? Like I’d like more context here, Suz 🙃

Aww, I always feel so bad for Katniss when she talks about her mother abandoning her 😭😩🥺

“But to be honest, I’m not the forgiving type” me either. Me either 🤧.

This may be why I so closely relate to her when she’s angry.

And why when people in the book say she needs to be more forgiving (ala Haymitch) I’m like “no”

I’m sorry but on second glance (more like 8th glance because I’ve read this chapter since I was 16) it’s so obvious Gale was hitting on her here 😅.

She’s oblivious 🤣🤣🤣

As she should be 😆

So later on, in the second book at least, Katniss definitely has some high respect for Hazelle Hawthorne. But here it seems to be like she’s implying Hazelle and her own mother are useless without her and Gale, and like they wouldn’t be able to provide for themselves. Maybe Hazelle just wasn’t fleshed out to Suzanne when she wrote the first book, the same way the love triangle you can tell if you look is sort of just tossed in there in the first book too? Anyways, just a thought.

That line about Prim being the only person Katniss is certain that she loves is sweet (it’s actually one of my favorite lines in the series) but it’s also so shady at the same time 😅😅😅. Like girl, you’re not sure if you love your mother or even your best friend (in a platonic way)?

Katniss makes a point in mentioning it took a long time for her and Gale to become friends. And I feel like that has been simplified a lot along the way, but it never really sounded to me like Katniss and Gale were besties for as long as most people think. The movies are a lot to blame for this, I know.

I don’t actually think Katniss is truly jealous here of the other girls wanting Gale? I feel like if she were she would have unconsciously insulted the school girls who were into him instead of just outright saying she was jealous, just not for romantic reasons. But who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️.

It was already mentioned earlier but I think Suzanne made a continuity error here, when Gale and Katniss mentioned fishing at the lake. The lake is a place Katniss explicitly mentioned in Catching Fire, to be private between her and her father. She even specially said she never took Gale there. I feel much better about my own writing continuity errors now.

Okay, both Katniss and Gale are so dumb. I would never prepare a feast for after the reaping. They’re just jinxing themselves. I have OCD really bad no one come for me.

I like how The Hob is a black market that’s literally just sitting in broad daylight 🤣🤣🤣.

Katniss just referenced being attacked by dogs... um I’m sorry, do we have no fear of rabies in this universe? 😭😭🙃🙃😐😐😅😅

Katniss : “me and the mayor’s daughter aren’t friends, we just hang out all the time at school, eat lunch together, sit by each other and are always partners. But weren’t not friends.” 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I like the mention of hair ribbons for the rich girl. This is just the fic writer in me seeping into my reading.

Gale and Madge’s little dispute ...

I see why they get shipped together 😅. They’re both just taking swipes at each other here.

Awww, Katniss sticking up for Madge, even though Madge is the privileged one 😭. Katniss has such a pure heart.

The entire point of the Madge/Gale interaction though was just to set up the class divide explanation in Katniss’ head to the reader.

But my Peeta centric heart also picks up on the comments in Katniss’ head of how unlikely it is to be chosen at the reaping when you’re a town kid.

In other words, Peeta had a slim to none chance of being chosen and still was.

Now I think of it, so was Prim...

That was just an unlucky reaping for the kids without tesserae 🙃

Also it reminds me of every fic I ever read that mentioned a conspiracy in the reapings and how the kids aren’t actually chosen at random but anyways I digress

I feel Gale though, with the whole idea of knowing something isn’t this person’s fault and there’s nothing they could do but still being so angry at them because it isn’t fair that you have to suffer and they don’t.

My anger issues are really showing 😅😅😅.

Honestly though, if Katniss is saying Gale on a normal day is rational about the class divide not being merchants faults, then clearly his issues with Peeta later on really were just of jealousy and not because he was a merchant vs Seam.

I just feel like I’ve seen that around and I’m not really convinced

In my interpretation of the character, Katniss’ reasons for not sharing in Gale’s rage comes from exhaustion after a lifetime of powerlessness. Some people (re: females more often) just get worn out about the things they cannot change and can’t even let it get inside their brain because there’s nothing they could do about it.

I mean, she is a more understanding person than Gale but I feel like so much of her character is already so tired right from chapter one.

Okay, just a pointless rambling thought

“Where something pretty” these children are so shady 🤣🤣🤣 that’s a line I would say though

The fact that her like 42 year old mother still fits in a dress she wore at like 20 is really a testament to how hungry they are 🤧🤧🤧

Okay but I’m not trying to pick on her mother, but when they were starving, why did either she or Katniss sell the fancy clothes from her apothecary days? I’m nitpicking I know. I’m a nitpicker.

Also good for Katniss trying to forgive her mother.

God knows how hard it is for me to try and forgive people.

Literally, God knows.

I like that Katniss didn’t disagree with Prim saying she’s beautiful, just that she doesn’t usually look this way 😂😂😂.

I just know my sister wouldn’t let me not take tesserae if this was us. She’d be like “you’ll be fine, four entries? Please. We can have more food for an entire year, don’t be selfish.” 😅😅😅

I feel like noting that Katniss and Prim’s age gap isn’t that significant? Four years? That’s not that large. Not even at 12 and 16.

They herd these children off like they’re .... pigs going to a slaughter... 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss casually stating “I could be shot on a daily basis” 😐😐😐

Katniss and Gale agreeing they’d rather be shot than starve is honestly so sad but lowkey sounds like something two teenagers would say. They should have put dialogue like this in the movies.

I didn’t even remember District 12 has 8,000 people.... why’d I think they only had 3,000????

I need to update some of my fics with this information

Katniss just said “televised by the state”. I’ve never heard her call any region a state before?

I like that Katniss calls Effie’s grin scary and white, because tons of people (i.e me) whiten our teeth in today’s society. And to Katniss and probably all of Twelve that’s creepy. I think it’s weird to Europeans too but l digress.

Also do the people in this district brush and floss, they never seem to mention it in the books, ya know?

Honestly the idea of the hunger games sounded cooler without Songbirds and Snakes telling us it was just some dumb guy’s idea that no one ever thought would come true.

Aww, sugar is a delicacy 🤧🤧🤧

I knew already that but lemme fully feel that sentiment for a moment okey

Umm I’m sorry, did Mayor Undersee just casually state Lucy Gray Baird’s name every year and we never knew it? Did Snow just allow this? Seems suspish

Also the idea of Katniss being her distant relative and hearing the name and not knowing the connection... and yeah, anyways. I got wayyyy ahead of myself and off track sorry

Why would Haymitch hug Effie? I’m sorry, but Hayffie having a secret affair at some point in all the years they worked together seems more likely than I thought.

I mean, Katniss never mentions Haymitch hugging anyone besides her and Peeta when they just almost died, are about to die or that one time Katniss was sobbing because she thought Peeta was gonna die.

You know what though? I like that at this moment, when the name is about to be announced, Katniss worried about herself. She spends so much time worrying for her sister, babying her sister, mothering her sister, she deserves ten seconds of worrying for her own safety.

Of course, said sister is the one chosen. Ironic considering the whole encounter with Madge.

Okay, I think that concludes my thoughts for chapter one of The Hunger Games!

#thgagain #I’m not tagging anything else because this is so long I’m so sorry if anyone tries to read this mess 😅😅😅😅😅🤧🤧🤧🤧

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nightshade-minho · 4 years

Text

-Nightmare- (8)

Warnings: none, really

Word Count: 2k+

Minho looked in the mirror. His eyes were red and his face was puffy, tears streaking his cheek. He looked pathetic. Weak.

He’d gone to your room. All your stuff was still there. He opened your drawers, realizing some of your clothes were missing.

There was nothing but anger in his heart as he pulled on his jacket, grabbing his phone and leaving the house with his heart heavy and weighed down.

He didn’t exactly know which friend you’d be staying with, though he had a few ideas. You only had one female friend, so he called her up.

“Hi, Chaeyoung?”

“Oh...Minho?”

“Yeah. It’s me.” He hated how shaky his voice sounded. “I was just wondering if Y/n ever came by.”

There’s a pause of hesitation on the other end. All he could hear was some shuffling and some random sounds.

“P-please.” He sniffed. More shuffling.

“Chae, please don’t answer, I-”

The call cut off, and he stared at his phone. That was definitely your voice that he’d heard.

Minho knew where the girl lived, since he sometimes dropped you off at hers. He tried to mentally recall the address as he made his way out, getting into his car.

On the way there, Minho’s grip was tight on the steering wheel. His head felt a little better after taking Tylenol, but his heart felt like it was trapped in an iron maiden.

He’d had sex. With you.

He rubbed his temples as he finally reached, stumbling out of the car and making his way upstairs.

He stood in front of the door, taking a deep breath before he knocked on your door.

When you finally opened, he felt like there was something stuck in his throat as you opened your mouth a little, closing it.

“M-minho...”

He couldn’t speak. Everything still felt so fucking raw. Cause there you were in front of him, your oversized sweater falling off your shoulder, neck still adorned with the hickeys he’d left the night before. It was all too painful.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

You shook your head, eyes wet as you stepped back a little, trying to close the door. He stopped you, sticking his foot in the doorway.

“Please? Just...”

You paused, eyes narrowed. “What more do you have to say to me?”

“Please, I just...you can’t just leave like this! We’ve known each other for sixteen years, you can’t just go-”

“Exactly! Sixteen years of friendship, and at the end of it all I was just another girl for your bed.”

“W-what?”

You bit your lip, the tears flowing freely now. “I’ve never been the special one. And I realize now that it was foolish to think that you would ever see me in such a light. Once upon a time, I was content being your friend, but now I’m not anymore.”

“You’re not just a friend. You’re my best friend.” Minho didn’t know why he couldn’t just confess to you already. He just couldn’t say the words he desperately wanted to let out.

You stayed silent, watching him as he opened his mouth again, struggling to get out what he wanted to say.

“You’re my closest friend. You’re not just another girl for my bed, I promise. You were right, last night was a mistake. But our friendship isn’t.” He sniffed. “It’ll never happen again. Neither of us remember it very well, right? We’ll just forget about it. Just...come back home.”

You watched, your face passive as you comprehended his words. It may be true that Minho couldn’t remember last night, but you hadn’t drunk as much as him, and hence you could remember some bits. The memories were fresh in your mind.

“I don’t know...things feel too different. I’ll stay here for a little longer...I need space right now. You have to understand that sex might be a simple thing for you, but it isn’t for me. It isn’t just a pastime, or something I can just forget.”

Minho nodded. “I understand that, but-”

He was cut off by his phone ringing. He took it out, glancing at the caller ID. It was an unknown number, but it looked vaguely familiar. He went to disconnect, but you shook your head. “Answer.”

He sighed, lifting the phone to his ear as he answered.

“Hi, Minho, miss me?” He heard a giggle on the other end, causing a shiver to run through him.

“It’s Rina.” He mouthed at you. Your eyes widened a little. “Put it on speakerphone.” You whispered, moving a little closer.

He did so, holding the phone out.

“Hi, Rina. How...how are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you?” Another giggle. “I’m guessing you had a good night, judging from the way you two were making out before you left the party.”

He chuckled nervously, glancing at you. “Y-yeah.”

“Hmm...I’m gonna be honest, I had my doubts about you two at first. I’m sorry about my threat. I understand now. It would have been pretty shitty of you to cheat on your girlfriend...so I’m alright with having been humiliated at the party.”

Minho didn’t say anything, fear in his face as he made eye contact with you. You were biting your lip, confusion etched across your features.

“I admit I found it a little suspicious at first. You two were just friends, up until the time I made that threat? It was unusual. Huge coincidence.” She laughed. “But I was being immature. I’m really sorry. To make it up to you, I was thinking of inviting you two to a dinner! Juyeon’ll be there too, so it’ll kinda be like a double date. Sound fun?”

The two of you looked at each other. Was she being sincere? It was hard to discern. Her voice was too sickly sweet. Was there something fishy going on?

“We should agree.” You mouthed.

Minho raised an eyebrow. “But it sounds too fishy!” He whisper-hissed.

“It’ll be fishier if we say no.” You whispered back.

Minho rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the girl still rambling away. “Okay, Rina. Looking forward to it.”

“Not to brag, but I’m a pretty good cook. I can’t wait! Bye, see you tomorrow evening at Juyeon’s apartment, okay? I’ll send you the address...or just ask Y/n, I’m sure she’s been there before.”

The call cuts off. The two of you straightened up.

You sighed. “I guess we have somewhere to go tomorrow.”

Minho looks over at you, inhaling as he pocketed the phone. “Are you sure? I thought you said you needed space.”

“Yeah. I did, but I don’t want anything to happen to you. That girl’s lowkey dangerous, and I don’t want either of us to get on her bad side. I still care about you, but you have to realize that last night definitely changed things between us. I need time to rethink our relationship.”

Minho knew that you thought that he didn’t truly understand the weight of last night’s event. You thought sex was just a hobby for him...and it was. However, he’d felt things last night that he’d never felt before, and he wanted to explore those feelings. The sex last night wasn’t something mindless or hollow. He’d been completely invested through it. His heart had been throbbing as much as, if not more than, his cock. But there was a sense of doom hanging over him...he still harbored the fear that you hated him.

“Y/n...it was just sex.”

You looked up at him, shaking your head, “And that’s exactly the problem.” You whispered.

He didn’t respond, shifting from one foot to the other. An awkward silence hung between the two of you.

A minute later, you spoke up. “Fine...I’ll come home.”

Minho looked up, his eyes wide. “You will?!”

You nodded, eyes downcast. At this point, you’d given up. It wasn’t like you could blame Minho. Sex was in his nature. You were the stupid one, to have thought that he could possibly feel for you the same way you did. He was your best friend, at the end of the day, and that was all he would be. You could learn to accept that. You would.

Minho’s smile was wide, and it made your heart melt. You mentally scolded yourself.

“Oh, by the way, why’d she say that you’ve been to Juyeon’s before?”

You rolled your eyes. “We were project partners. We met up at each other’s places to work on it.”

“I don’t remember him coming over.”

“That’s cause you’re never home anyway. Just wait here for a few minutes, I’ll go get my stuff.”

You went back inside, leaving Minho to wait outside as you grabbed your bag and thanked Chaeyoung for letting you stay.

As Minho waited, he felt himself calm down a bit. Yeah, you were angry at him, but it would pass. Just like it always did. He knew it wasn’t fair. He kept hurting you, and you kept forgiving him...you honestly deserved better than him.

“I’m in love with Y/n.” He repeated the phrase in mind, chuckling a bit. It felt so unreal...but it was reality. He wasn’t scared anymore, though. After last night, he knew what he was feeling was too real for him to ignore. He was deeply, madly in love with you. Always had been.

But there was still some residual fear in his heart. Even if he could work up the courage to confess, he didn’t know if you’d react positively. He’d been an asshole. Why would you trust anything he says? He’d screwed you over and apologized a thousand times. So many promises to ‘change’...but he never did.

“You have to try.” He told himself, just as you came back out. You’d changed your shirt, but the marks he’d left were still clearly visible. It made his heart throb, knowing that they were his. It excited him to think of how your clothes were covering all the other marks he’d left on your body. His personal favorites were the ones he’d sucked onto your boobs and waist. He-

“Earth to Minho?”

He snapped back to attention. “Wha? Oh, yeah. Come on.” You followed him to his car.

As he drove back, he glanced at you. “I’m sorry, Y/n.”

You let out a noncommittal hum as he looked out the window. “That word coming out of your mouth has lost all meaning, Minho.”

He inhaled deeply as he reached the apartment. “This time, I really am.”

You got out, staying silent as you made your way upstairs.

He followed, frowning as you went straight to your room as soon as he unlocked the door.

“Wait, please. We should talk-”

“Sorry, I have an assignment due. We’ll talk later.”

You smiled apologetically at him before shutting the door. Minho groaned, plopping down on the couch as he threw his head back in frustration. He needed to let out his feelings for you. After years of them being buried, now that he’d finally realized them, they were bubbling up, eager to escape.

His eyes landed on your tattered shirt from last night. Picking it up, he winced at the ruined material. Jesus, he must have really been out of control. He wished he could remember.

He knew he owed you a better apology. You deserved to know his true feelings. It didn’t matter if you rejected him...this was his chance to be a decent best friend. He didn’t want to lose you...didn’t want to scare you off. But he knew that if he kept it all in, he’d just end up hurting you more.

He sighed, going to the balcony to get some fresh air. He saw your guitar lying on your chair, a soft smile appearing on his face as he recalled all the times you played to him.

Yeah, he was scared. He was well aware that his confession would change everything. But he would hold on to these memories, no matter what happens. You were more than just a best friend. You were his home. After a long day at the dance studio, you were all that could cheer him up.

You, playing your guitar. You, getting mad when he ‘sang better than you’ despite not having had any vocal lessons. You, baking cookies for him and nearly burning the kitchen down in the process. You, Gyu in hand, standing in his doorway after having had a particularly terrifying nightmare. You...cuddling up against him as he stroked your hair, calming you down.

He hated himself for forgetting about his plans with you that night. He never wanted to hurt you, not when you were the only one that was always there for him. Him, not his dick or his status. Yet, hurting you was all that he seemed to be doing, lately.

He sat in your chair, taking your little lyric notebook and reading through it, flipping until he got to his favorite one, the one titled ‘Nightmare’.

The song always calmed him down, for some reason. The lyrics felt so profound and raw...he could feel the music rooting itself deep into his heart. Every single time you played him that song, his heart would tighten and tears would prick his eyes. He didn’t know why.

The afternoon sun was hot, but there was still a light breeze tickling his face as he closed his eyes, humming the tune in his head.

You watched from the living room, hands on the french door leading to the balcony as you sighed, hating the fact that your heart was still pounding. Listening to the melody that meant so much to you leaving his lips hurt. He had no idea it was about him...and you had to try your best to keep it that way.

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brasskier · 4 years

Text

Inspired by @valdomarx, @therogueheart, and that one anon, here’s a post-mountain Deaf!Jaskier story. Read it under the cut below or find it on my ao3 here.

Geralt stumbled upon Jaskier for the first time since the dragon hunt early the next spring, at a crowded market a week or two northeast of Oxenfurt. He'd stopped into town to stock up on supplies and maybe pick up a contract or two before moving along. If asked, he'd insist it was a series of hunts that brought him so close to the Academy, that he might as well follow the coin. And if he happened to run into his bard (ex-bard?), and happened to have the opportunity to apologize, and the bard happened to choose to follow him again? Well, so be it.

He smelled Jaskier before he could see him, head perking up and eyes searching the crowd for the flash of a colorful doublet and that soft brown hair. The market was teeming, thrumming with chatter, and just as vivacious as Jaskier himself.

"You goin' ta buy that or not?" The stall keeper asked, jarring him back to his abandoned transaction. He dropped a few coins on the stall, pocketed the herb, and disappeared without so much as a grunt. Weaving through the throngs of people, he relied on smell - on that familiar chamomile and saffron - until he finally spotted a glint of emerald green, and the strap of a lute. He watched from a distance.

Jaskier's hands were flashing about as dramatic as ever, glancing back and forth between the balding man tending the stall and another man standing beside him. His companion was as flamboyant as he was, dressed in a regal blue and arms waving about just as exaggeratedly. But then Geralt realized he couldn't hear Jaskier, which was unusual, because the bard had never in the two decades he'd known him been able to keep his voice down. The crowd was certainly cacophonous, but not that loud.

"Jaskier?" He drew a little closer and called his name tentatively. The bard didn't seem to react, carrying on with whatever he was doing. He tried again, a little louder, and then a third time, increasingly forcefully. He was getting irritated now - how dare he pretend to not hear me - and was tempted to simply move on. With a heavy sigh, he approached even further, lingering just a few paces behind him. "Jaskier?"

"Think someone's calling you," the stall keeper announced, jerking his head in Geralt's direction, and Jaskier waved his hands again before turning to follow the man's gaze. He blanched when his eyes finally met Geralt's, mouth hung open and hands dropping to his side.

"Geralt?" He squeaked out finally, dragging a hand up to his heart. There was an unusual quality to his voice, Geralt was quick to note. Not hoarse, like he'd heard him after many a late-night performance. Just different.

"Jaskier," he repeated, casting his gaze down to the russet dirt at his feet.

"Gods," Jaskier breathed. "Just - melitele's tits - I just…" He trailed off, wringing his hands together. Geralt couldn’t help but think he looked like one of the stray fawns that would occasionally stumble upon his campsite and linger frozen for a few moments, cast in the firelight and trembling with fear.

"It's okay, I know." He kept his eyes trained at his feet, trying to pin down the bard’s tone. The way Jaskier produced certain sounds, dragged over his vowels, a little bit of its usual edge missing. He must be overwhelmed, Geralt concluded, but he wasn't particularly convinced. "I'm sorry." He waited patiently, uncertainly, for either his acceptance or rejection.

"I need you to look at me," he said instead, surprising Geralt. He did as he was told, lifting his chin to face him. "Can you repeat that?"

"I'm sorry," he reiterated. He felt frustration welling again - he got his apology, does he really need me to repeat it? - but he quickly quashed it.

"Thank you, Geralt." He could see the emotion brimming in Jaskier's eyes. "We have a lot of catching up to do." Jaskier glanced sideways for a moment, fidgeting with one of his rings. "Perhaps we could share a drink? There's a tavern not far from here." He jerked his head to the right. Geralt grunted, and Jaskier raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Sounds good," he clarified. He was becoming increasingly convinced that Jaskier was toying with him for pleasure's sake. He knew full well how to interpret the Witcher's grunts, after all. And yet the expression drawn across his face looked impressively genuine. Humans are weird.

Jaskier uttered his thanks to the stall keeper and turned to face his companion - who'd been waiting patiently behind him - again. He wagged his hands about wordlessly, and it finally dawned on Geralt that this was not his usual theatricality - this was common sign language, and he wondered when exactly Jaskier had picked it up.

Jaskier was quiet most of the way to the tavern but seemed to perk up once they were seated - in the far back corner, Jaskier's choice. Geralt spoke first, determined to get this apology over with and behind him.

"I'm sorry about what happened." Jaskier tilted his head as he listened, chin resting on folded hands. "What I said was wrong. I shouldn't have blamed you, and…" he exhaled sharply, as if apologizing - or, more specifically, being honest and vulnerable - caused him actual pain. "The best blessing life has given me is finding you again." Jaskier's head tilted impossibly further, and then came the tears, and - fuck - did Geralt say the wrong thing?

"That's awfully sweet, Geralt," Jaskier eventually choked out, and he relaxed a little. "I'm sorry, I just--" He dragged a hand across his face. "That was so kind." He sniffled into his sleeve before finally re-righting himself. "I guess I'm just a tad sentimental." Geralt forced the best smile he could manage across his lips. "Gods, it's been so long. Go on, tell me everything you've been up to."

"Not much," he replied between sips of ale. "I'll tell you everything later." He chided himself as soon as the words left his mouth for just assuming there might be a later. "How have you been?"

"Hmm?" He sighed, fighting hard to keep from rolling his eyes.

"How have you been?" Jaskier seemed to spark to life again at this.

"Oh," he said simply, pushing his hair behind his ear and chewing on his lip. "Well, I returned to Oxenfurt, taught for the winter. I just headed out, actually. I've been a bit preoccupied." He leaned in closer, stared past Geralt at the wall behind him. "I, uhh, I got sick, coming down from the mountain." Geralt hummed, drawing a slow sip of his ale. "I mean, I kinda woke up sick, but then there was the dragon and…" He rubbed his thumb against the rough wood of the table. "Well, I was a little distracted. I don't even really remember making it off the mountain, to be honest."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice." Geralt might as well get all his apologies over with at this point, he thought. Jaskier waved a hand to hush him.

"I woke up at a healer's. Apparently someone had found me not far out of town and dragged me in." He let out a shaky exhale. "He said I'd had an infection in… In my brain." Geralt watched him with a sour mix of pity and regret, unable to shake the feeling that he should've been there. The image of Jaskier, waxy pale and slumped unconscious, trembling in a stranger’s arms, burned into his mind. "Anyway, I'm lucky I survived. But my hearing did not." Oh. Fuck. Suddenly the pieces slid into place - the sign language, the strange quality to his voice, the incessant requests for Geralt to repeat himself.

"Fuck, Jask, I'm sorry." He rarely shortened Jaskier's name, but he knew the bard liked the nickname, and it was the least he could do for him. His mind reeled with regret. He should've been there. A random stranger shouldn't have been the one to find him and rescue him. If he'd known, he'd have never - no. No, what he did was wrong outside of the context of what'd happened next, and he was not about to qualify it. Jaskier, for his part, seemed relatively unfazed.

"Nothing you could've done about it, really," he insisted, running his finger along the rim of his glass. "The healer said I just needed to fight it off on my own." This did absolutely fuck all to ease the guilt gnawing in Geralt's gut. Questions swirled in his head - how was Jaskier going to sing or play anymore? Could he still compose even? How was he going to survive; that was how he procured coin, after all? Was he… was he happy? Did he blame Geralt?

"I know, I just… can you still sing?" This question seemed to amuse Jaskier, who laughed heartily.

"Yes, Geralt, I can still deliver my fillingless pie." Geralt couldn't tell if he was serious or not, and while he used to be able to read his voice a little more consistently, he was unsure now and kicking himself for not making a better study of the bard's facial expressions and body language when they'd been together.

"You know I didn't…"

"I know. I know you didn't mean that." They sat in silence for a beat while Geralt wracked his brain for his next question.

"How? Do you sing, I mean, if you can't hear. How are you even talking to me?" He shrunk behind his tankard, suddenly embarrassed by the utter lack of tact that'd never bothered him before.

"Well, one of the perks of teaching at a premier Academy is access to some of the finest physicians this side of Nilfgaard. I'll be honest, it took a lot of work to relearn how to sing and speak; I was mute for most of my travels back to Oxenfurt, mostly out of shame." Geralt's stomach churned, imagining Jaskier entirely and utterly silent. That wasn't the bard he knew. His Jaskier never shut up, mouth constantly running faster than a horse, always a story to tell or a song to share or a joke to crack. And certainly never worried about whether anyone else wanted or needed to hear him. Jaskier was not quiet. "But fortunately I still have a tiny bit of my hearing - on the lower end, mostly, which is good for you. Plus I have decades of muscle memory, so it wasn't so bad. And as for right now? I'm mostly lipreading, though the pitch of your voice is helpful." Geralt couldn't tell whether he was being genuine or just trying to placate him. "It's just different. Have to feel it more than hear it, which if you ask me more musicians should try."

"I'm glad," Geralt gritted out, nodding at the bartender to bring another round of ale. "That you can still sing." Jaskier beamed.

"I knew you always liked my singing," he declared triumphantly, arms folded across his chest.

"Did you already know common sign?" Geralt asked instead of retorting with something snarky; let the bard have his victory.

"A tiny bit, but the language professor at the Academy was fantastic at teaching me." Geralt closed his eyes and tried to envision the odds and ends of common sign he'd picked up over his years of travel. "I made a lot of Deaf friends; they've been so supportive of me." With a sigh, Geralt decided to give it a try.

"I know a little," he signed, tentative and deliberate. Jaskier's eyes lit up.

"You do?" He signed back, eyebrows raised and grin spread across his face.

"Not much. I can…" His hands slowed, wracking his brain for the sign for learn. He sighed again and said it aloud instead. There he goes again, assuming Jaskier will stick around long enough to warrant learning more. Jaskier teared up again, and he cursed inwardly, wondering for what must've been the trillionth time that afternoon if he'd messed up.

"You'd do that? For me?" Jaskier squeaked, pawing at his eyes with a hand tucked in his sleeve.

"Of course." For a moment Jaskier looked like he might fling himself across the table and into his arms, but instead he fidgeted in his seat.

"That's enough about me now, isn't it?" Jaskier asked, always a master at changing the topic when he grew bored with it. "Tell me about your hunts." He leaned over, fished around in his pack, and plucked out his notebook and pen.

"First was an infestation of drowners," Geralt began, taking extra care to face Jaskier as he spoke, and pausing when he went to scribble something in his notes. They spent the next hour like this until, just as Geralt was beginning to wonder if the bard was going to force him to talk all night, Jaskier was tugged to the front of the tavern while excited patrons clamored for a performance. Jaskier obliged, as always, and Geralt watched, as always.

When Jaskier dropped back into his seat, shuffling his lute unceremoniously to the floor beside him, Geralt expected him to bid him a hurried goodnight, get on his way, and leave. Just a nice day catching up shared between two friends (?), and decidedly not the start of their next joint adventure. But instead of any of that, Jaskier called to the bartender for another mug, busied himself fixing his hair and his doublet.

"Told you I could still sing," he said with a wink as the bartender deposited his ale on the table in front of him. "And something to eat, please," he added before returning his attention to Geralt.

"I never doubted you," Geralt's reply came easily. It was, perhaps, the truth.

"Now then, would you say it has more or less filling now?" He leaned forward on his elbows, cheeky grin and narrowed eyes, and even Geralt could recognize the facetiousness of his words. Before Geralt could answer, he waved a hand, as if dismissing himself. "So, where were you? Something about a missing cow?" Geralt nodded, leaning back in his seat.

"So the boy told me his father would pay me, if I could find the cow. So I said, 'how much?'" He continued on with his tales, no matter how excruciatingly mundane they felt to him, until Jaskier's head dips forward and then picks back up for a third time. "Think it might be time for you to get some sleep?" He asked, and Jaskier blinked away the sleep in his eyes.

"Yeah, probably," he muttered, scrubbing at his face with one hand, the other dipping down to reach his lute. "Are you staying overnight?" He asked, and immediately flushed at the confused look he received from Geralt. "I just mean… I don't… you can't leave before I get to say hi to Roach."

"It's too dark now. I'll get a room at the inn." Jaskier’s face lit up, and he followed him in rising to his feet. "Just have to grab Roach first," he said when they finally made it out the door and into the cool early-spring night.

"M'kay," Jaskier hummed with a fond smile. He rested a hand on Geralt's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning." It was a firm statement, certain and unquestioning.

"See you then," Geralt replied, heading back to the stable where he'd docked Roach so he could bring her closer to the inn. And he, too, was certain.

#the witcher #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #dandelion #julian alfred pankratz #henry cavill #joey batey #mountain breakup #deaf jaskier #deaf character #fanfiction #the witcher netflix #ao3

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fizzingwizard · 4 years

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I could cry y’all. Episode 37 was SO GOOD. So good!! It truly felt like a Mimi episode, and it truly felt like Digimon Adventure, in multiple ways. It’s seriously fantastic!

I feel at once super duper relieved that this show is, really and truly, capable of this time of episode, and also super duper confused why, if it could do this, it hasn’t been doing it the whole time??

Anyway, we’ve now had four or five solid episodes in a row, so I’m letting myself feel hopeful again!

This episode is called “Mimi Wars,” but I feel it might be more aptly titled “Sailor Mimi”

In the name of employee rights, I will punish you!

More below!

Okay... so as I was watching this episode, I really got the feeling that they were parodying something again. Like last we had a Mimi episode - far far away in the distant past though it was - when they very obviously parodied Castle in the Sky. That’s twice now Mimi’s been compared with a girl with twin tails, Usagi’s pigtails and Sheeta’s braids xD

Although the poses Mimi uses aren’t exact replicas of Usagi’s, though, so maybe I’m wrong. I got the Usagi vibe from her personality even more, so maybe using the poses would have been considered copyright infringement and so they had to change them a little. Or, maybe Mimi is parodying someone else who also uses dramatic hand movements and talks a lot about justice in spite of being generally clueless...

See the resemblance? XD

But what I REALLY think is going on is, they’re spoofing the genre in general, while also taking it seriously. That’s important. It’s not just a joke here. This is the girl power episode, in a way, and in my opinion, it’s a better girl power episode than the fare I got used to growing up, which went more or less like this:

Guy: *does something with good intentions but inept*

Girl: Ugh! Men don’t respect women!

Guy: I’m sorry, what did I do wrong?

Girl: I won’t tell you because feminism! C’mon girlfriends, let’s assert our confidence as women by going on a girls night out shopping spree and making a bunch of random guys stare in awe at us for no clear reason!

Girls: Yes! This is third wave feminism!

... that was more or less the formula. It was... awkward. I’d like to blame on “those episodes were written by men who think all feminists are angry feminists,” but I think if I went and checked who the scriptwriters were, there’d be some women in there for sure.

What we got in THIS episode is something I’d actually want my daughter to see. First off you’ve got Mimi, who loves pink and pretty things and comes across as a real girly girl, not to mention a bit of a ditz. And the show’s straight up, “but just because you have flaws doesn’t mean you can’t grow into a great person. Also, being girly is not incompatible with being a boss.”

Mimi doesn’t need to be a man, nor does she need to be a hard ass, nor does she need to be especially kind and sweet to soften her orders. All she has to do, according to this episode, is care about her craft, care about quality, and care about worker conditions.

I mean... a show where the girl boss wasn’t a Russian spy in a former life?? A show where the girl boss isn’t a Stepford wife who got where she is by marrying rich and funding her perfume company that way? She’s... she’s Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. She gets to be flawed and girly and fun-loving and bossy and ditzy all at the same time. She loves diamonds - but diamonds are no longer a “girl’s best friend.” Rather, Mimi herself is the diamond in the rough!

This actually makes her a really good set with Sora. Sora continues to be both a tomboy and very sisterly. Mimi’s very girly but very bossy. Between the two of them, they can conquer the world. Of course, I don’t know that the show would take it any farther than they already have, but I’m just happy to see this development for Mimi at all. We had it to a degree in 99 Adventure, and Kizuna took it a bit further by making her an entrepreneur. Reboot Mimi is a remix of that for the 21st century.

*deeeeeeeeeep breath*

so... back to our regularly scheduled programming!

As awesome as Mimi is, she’s not the only one who’s great in this episode. The others get to let their real personalities shine, at least. We needed this episode sooooo bad like 20 episodes ago... le sigh.

Anyway, we start off having mad camp, for some reason (why aren’t they just staying on Komondomon?? whatev)

Food! They’re going to get food! They’re splitting up and making a plan in order to get food!!! I still miss the “food desperation” of 99 Adventure but hey, at least they’re acknowledging that they need to eat.

Sora advises Hikari and Takeru not to go too far on their quest and Tailmon swears like a knight of the round table to protect Hikari with her life.

Taichi: Oookay... note to self: don’t piss off little sister’s hotheaded partner...

Taichi adds that they’re also counting on Patamon, who is just thrilled to go off and play with Takeru.

Tailmon: *BIG SIGH*

Lol I really love that they’re bringing back the old Patamon/Tailmon dynamic where she’s all grown up serious and he’s got the priorities of a toddler most of the time... It’s Black Widow and Hawkeye bahahahaha

We even get to see them COLLECT FOOD what did I do to deserve this they are COLLECTING FOOD IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN I REPEAT IT’S NOT HAPPENING OFF SCREEN

Taichi even has to warn Agumon not to eat the food becaues they’re supposed to be gathering it to share ;___; omg... we actually get on screen proof that Agumon is a glutton??

Then Taichi tries to “help” by shaking the tree and the tree falls and they -

BAHAHAHAHAHA

humor!!! Poking fun at Taichi even!! Over food!! Because he has a klutz for a partner!!! And because he himself was overzealous!! ;_; I could die of Cute.

Sora absolutely shocks me this episode too. I expected she’d just watch Taichi and Agumon drift away with their folly while sighing and shrugging her shoulders or something.

NOPE

She jumps DIRECTLY UP and into the water without a moment’s hesitation, like they’re going to die without her - I don’t even know what her plan is here, she seems to want Piyomon to evolve and pull them out, but why does that mean Sora has to be in the water too?

I think her sisterly instincts just freaked out on seeing Taichi looking wet and confused and clinging to a tree trunk so she just did the first thing she could think of which was “Get to him!!”

Piyomon then fails to evolve, reason unclear, I suppose she’s hungry... they never do eat though so I’m not sure why she can evolve later xD (probably they eat off screen)

But I mean I just love that we got this bit with Sora. I call it freaking out but she doesn’t seem freaked out - she stays calm and seems decisive and takes action - all good things. It’s just hard to understand her thought process xD But it’s all good info about Sora. (again stuff we needed more of AGES ago)

Now I had thought this was all just a funny bit that was separate to the main story, but this is how Taichi and Sora end up washed up in the rocky area Mimi is. This does mean Koushirou, Takeru, and Hikari aren’t much in the rest of the episode, sadly. Not sure why but the reboot does seem to struggle with writing episodes for the whole group.

Like last week, I’m somewhat miffed that, in the end, the main group finds the stragglers instead of the other way around. It’s even worse this time because at least last episode Koushirou told them where he was and they had a reason to go there. This time they have no idea Mimi’s gonna be there and it’s all a big coincidence. On the other hand... I do think Mimi was born under a lucky star, so that explains it. :P

Taichi and Sora suddenly find them selves trapped Gulliver’s Travels style and they’re both immediately like, “Hmm... something about this situation seems very familiar...”

Taichi and Sora: Oh that’s RIGHT we totally forgot that the pink cowgirl we hand out with is also TOTALLY BATSHIT

D’awww. Our future overlord is just so adorable, I don’t even mind when she flogs us in the street

TBH, up till now they’ve woefully underestimated just how batshit she is. And it’s wonderful.

So Mimi has happened upon some poor, disenfranchised Digimon who are being forced to work for an evil boss who collects the beautiful gems that grow in this area. Like in 99 Adventure, Mimi will have none of this sort of crap. Her reasons, though, have evolved with the times:

omg... she voted for Bernie Sanders!

This is how Harry and Ron reacted when Hermione said she was starting a house-elf welfare organization called SPEW.

Though I joke - like I said before, even though Taichi and Sora are rather mind-boggled by Mimi’s mood swings and fits of passion, and there’s definitely humor there, Mimi herself is not a joke here. We are shown strongly that, however in the clouds her head might be, her heart is not only in the place, it’s also already internalized the fact that people don’t always get treated well in the real world and it’s up to those with power to ensure that are protected.

I mean. At this point, I’m going, “Sorry but ISN’T MIMI THE REAL LEADER IN THIS SHOW?!?!”

Of course she does have another, less lofty motivation... she really likes pretty stones.

Buhahahaha.

Mimi’s names are as creative as they are incredible, just like her. Taichi and Sora have trouble keying in with Mimi due to how changeable she is, but they never talk badly about her or reject her. They never try to wrest leadership from her either! Taichi might think Mimi’s names for the stones are over the top, but sort of sidesteps it and just goes along with her plan.

Reason #14567876867867 why I love Yagami Taichi: when someone else is the leader, he can be a follower. And he’ll be the BEST follower. Keep reading to see why.

The story of how Mimi befriended the enslaved rock Digimon here is pretty much how Goku became besties with Vegeta.

Men communicate their hearts through their fists! Or swords, depending on the anime. ANOTHER AWESOME SUBVERSIVE MOMENT FOR MIMI - she’s now even got cliche shonen hero tropes assigned to her!

Taichi and Sora, like I said, don’t try to change Mimi’s mind - they’re actually touched by her strong feelings about workers’ rights and her desire to help her new friends -

Taichi: Wait... what?

Sora: Well, she’s still a ten year old girl.

The rock Digimon show their allegiance to Princess CEO Mimi. They don’t even mind having their names and identities stripped away and being reduced to numbers on an Excel spreadsheet...

Taichi: I hate Excel.

Sora: I do too, but I’m more impressed that she remembers the numbers she gave us back in episode 6.

Taichi: Impressed? More like filled with a sense of impending doom

Only Taichi seems to understand Mimi’s unique power bahahaha.

But back to what I said earlier, about Mimi being the real leader: I don’t know if the show’s gonna keep doing anything with this at all, but I really like that they didn’t NOT do this in order to ensure Taichi’s the only leader. (I mean, Yamato’s so far not made much of a bid for leadership so he’s been pretty uncontested thus far. He also hasn’t had to do all that much leading given how often the group is separated... but I digress)

I love the idea that Taichi can step back and let someone else take the reins when they’re best suited. Which Mimi is, due to her easy ability to make friends and gain trust. Mimi had this ability in 99 as well and it was used in the final battle to muster the troops, so to speak. It ought to have been a bigger deal but wasn’t since she missed most of the final battle :/ But I loved that “social, able to make friends” wasn’t some stupid “Girls talk too much” trait, it was actually something that was useful. This is a great place to take that with the reboot.

At the same time, while Mimi and Taichi both have similar leadership traits, there are places they diverge that potentially make them leaders for different situations. Taichi’s pretty cool and strategic even in emergencies. He was more of a hothead in 99, but Mimi’s always been quick to anger. (And quick to cool down.) As we’ll see in this episode, that’s sort of where Taichi’s true ability lies: he’s serious, determined, strategic, and reliable as well as brave. But this is Mimi’s episode, and Taichi isn’t going to get to be the hero anymore than he (almost) was last week with Koushirou. Because more than one character can have positive leadership traits! Hallelujah.

Quick nip over to Komondomon and the others - Koushirou’s group is going to try to find them, but Komondomon falls asleep. Oh noes. I wish someone (Koushirou) would ask, out loud, “Gee, what are these strange symbols that appear when we communicate via digivice? Do they mean something? How were they assigned?” I really thought we’d get a hint what with all the conveniently colorful gemstones this episode, but still nope.

My girl looking like a BAMF!

Mimi explains her plan to her servants employees. She is surprisingly artistic!

Sora plays the role of bait to create a diversion while Greymon digs a tunnel to get to where the gems are stored. Mimi congratulates herself on a job well done.

Taichi: A job well done? Who d’you think has been doing the work here?

Greymon: That would be me.

Taichi: Right, right I was going to say you >.>;

So we do see bits of Mimi’s self-centered side as well - she’s not perfect, but who is? Taichi just lives with it. Mwehehehe.

... will be fired! LMAO

No. 72 is Taichi, btw. Mimi gave up calling people by their names for Lent.

Taichi: Lent’s not for over a month.

Mimi: It’s never too early for religious sacrifice.

Taichi: And you’re not Catholic.

Mimi: I celebrate Mardi Gras.

Taichi: yOU JUST LIKE THE COSTUMES AND KING CAKE

He’s miffed and he.... just lives with it. Again. xD

It’s hilarious. And adorable. I love both that 1) Mimi is an awesome boss while being, in fact, rather bossy, and that 2) in spite of being a boss type himself, Taichi not only listens to Mimi, but he totally indulges her like he’s her older brother or something x’D He wouldn’t be out of line for saying “I have a name you know!” On the other hand, I guess he knows her well enough to understand that she doesn’t mean anything by it, and... there’s no stopping her when she gets like this :P

Feel the wrath of Tachikawa Mimi!!!

So Mimi’s plan has worked so far, and she’s got everyone listening to her despite her questionable business practices, and then she... suddenly rushes off in another direction.

Taichi: That’s it, I am through being her personal assistant if she’s just going to change the plan on a whim!

Taichi: ... I don’t want to see her get hurt or be sad though...

Greymon understands Taichi’s heart ;___; and enables him to go after Mimi. I don’t really get why it’s wise to split up given that Taichi can’t fight big rock Digimon without his partner... x’D So I’m going to chalk this up to, Greymon understands that Taichi is, at his core, the team Dad. He’s got to be allowed to worry and check up on the kids, even when it’s not so advisable. Awwwwwwwww.

Indeed, Taichi doesn’t get to be the hero this ep, but small moments like this give us waaaay more character development than always being the hero!

Fortunately Mimi does have her own partner and she’s not afraid of the enemy’s rock hard abs. :P

They make it into the storage center for all the gems. IT’S SO COLORFUL. Ten year old men is squeeing just like Mimi.

Come on!! She’s holding yellow/orange topaz and purple amethyst! It could be the material for Taichi or Takeru’s and Koushirou’s crests! (I always liked fire opal for Taichi though xD)

Taichi’s been promomted!! To chief pack animal x’D Just because it’s a cool name doesn’t mean that’s what the job is, Meems.

Taichi’s just like, “I think I’m too young for that position.” Bahahaha.

He’s going to be carrying her books to school before long.

Then something big and hard hits Taichi in the head!! He freaking starts to cry, it hurts so bad!!

Taichi: Owww! Omg I think I got a concussion from that! Help someone call an ambulance!

He was hit in the head by a diamond, which Mimi loves. So she goes off on a monologue about how much she likes diamonds. She never asks him if he’s okay x’D

Taichi: Don’t worry about me, I’m fine, not that you asked or anything.

Mimi: Please, everyone knows your head is already harder than diamonds.

Taichi: ...

The pile of gems looks like Fruity Pebbles. Mmmmm

It turns out the mastermind of this whole operation is Gogmamon, who is the bastard child of Gogmagog I assume :P He eats the gemstones as well as Gotsumon for power. He then produces the diamonds?? I didn’t quite understand if he was spitting out the diamonds because he didn’t like them, or he was creating them inside him when eating and then spitting them out like... diamond turds...

...

they’re diamond turds aren’t they >__>

Mimi is not interested in big business bulldozing the mom and pop shops and small upstarts. And she hates sweatshops! She is pro-Fair Trade all the way! And she will yell it in your face!

Taichi: It’s the yelling part that I’m having trouble with.

Mimi: A good speech from the boss is what keeps up employee morale!

Taichi: Yeah, that’s less true when the boss is about to be gobbled up herself...

Golemon and Togemon try to fight Gogmamon and this results in Golemon falling to pieces.

Taichi: Are you okay?

Golemon: My HEAD was knocked off, but sure I’m doing JUST FINE -____- little brat

Taichi stands protectively in front of Golemon’s head. Lol. He’s thinking of strategies... perhaps regretting rushing after Mimi and leaving his own partner behind...

Mimi joins him and Gogmamon finds her a formidable opponent in the war of words. Gogmamon argues that all the rocks, all the Digimon, everything here belongs to him and him alone! And Mimi brilliantly counters with:

“Fuck that! They belong to ME!”

x’D He just like... under his breath... “she admits that’s how she thinks of us...” hahahaha... I laughed out loud...

It might not be 3D but this is an excellent evolution sequence xD I haven’t said so yet but the animation in this episode was good! Good for the show anyway. It was smoother than usual despite some mechanical-like mouth movements and more than that, it had character and expression!

okay important question everyone: Taichi = Kermit, Mimi = Miss Piggy... discuss??

So Gogmamon has a pretty cool-sounding attack, “Curse Reflection.” I have often complained that the villains we fight and get new evolutions with aren’t that scary, but Gogmamon not only seemed pretty formidable (if not the smart, I mean he does have rocks for a brain), he also had a good story build up. My one disappointment in this episode is that the ending is so fast and Gogmamon so easily dealt with. This would have been a good time to introduce Rosemon (like how last week would have been an appropriate time for HerculesKabuterimon). But in both cases, we’re definitely supposed to take away at least that these guys are almost there... Anyway yeah, I would have liked a tiny bit more meant to the resolution but.

So here’s ANOTHER cool thing! Taichi notices that Gogmamon rejects the diamonds, and realizes they’re the key to defeating him. But he doesn’t just tell that to Mimi. He asks her “Did you see that?” And guess what - she did!

So even though the show couldn’t resist telling us that yes, Taichi would have been able to handle this situation - it doesn’t even let him give Mimi a hint towards victory. She figures it out for herself! The most we can say he does is point out the diamond, but she understands the implication and is able to use it against Gogmamon through her own intellect.

TAICHI DOESN’T MANSPLAIN Y’ALL. HE’S NOT A MANSPLAINER. HALLELUJAH AND PAST THE PEAS!!

Mimi is very influenced by her hardworking, CEO grandpa, Tachikawa Genichiro, who’s taught her things about business and things about values, and it really reads as if she’s the one who will inherit the family business - like she’s the family investment. You know, the role that traditionally only falls to sons. That’s changed with the world, and apparently Tachikawa Genichiro-jiisan is totally on board with his granddaughter being more than just a pretty heiress!

... btw what are they making...

“You’re fired!” Mimi yells as Lillymon takes Gogmamon down x’D kill me I love it

Like last time (and it sure was a long time ago that we saw it ;_;), the aftereffects of Lillymon’s powers is plants start growing everywhere. This is such a cool effect, I don’t get why it’s not used more. Right now I feel like Mimi/Palmon are the best set in the show.

(I did think it was funny when Mimi gives the diamond to Lillymon to use against Gogmamon and Lillymon acts like Mimi’s making this huge sacrifice since she loves diamonds so much. But 1) it wasn’t the only one, and 2) they were spat out by Gogmamo! that’s gross! that’s got to cut into the value! hahah)

The others finally catch up and the day is saved. Golemon is an employee for life now. Awww.

AWWWWWW.

I gushed about all this before so I won’t repeat myself, but yeah, I’m so happy with this episode.

Lol Sora and Taichi have accepted their places in Mimi’s world, in the end. They might have numbers instead of names and their boss might change her mind about things every five seconds, but other than that it’s a pretty nice gig overall.

Again the art, so sweet. This reminded me of Miyako yelling to Mimi about how she wants to be like her when she grows up in 02 so I capped it.

And I absolutely love this little play on words since it’s in English! Wow!

SO CUTE. How did a Mimi episode kick every other episode out of the water? Scratch that, we always knew Mimi was fantastic. A shojo hero for the 21st century.

Well I said a ton and this is really long now so I’m gonna assume you all get my thoughts on this episode. 9.5/10, really awesome, totally unexpected but perfectly suted to Mimi. I’m so so happy this show seems to have figured things out and remebered that it’s supposed to be freaking Digimon Adventure, it seemed like it forgot for a while there. I just hope we haven’t wasted too much time on those more lackluster episodes, I want so many more stories like this one.

Next week looks like another winner:

OK, that concept is hilarious x’D I’m so sorry. But also, leave it to Yamato and Gabumon to get the tragedy episode.

The mood maker will be this guy! I’m totally psyched for Yamato and Jou. Taichi’s been important in the past two episodes even though they were centered on Koushirou and Mimi, so I wonder if/when he’ll be involved this time? Or maybe it really will be just Yamato and Jou - my dream combo?? I can’t wait either way.

DID NOT CHECK FOR TYPOS! See y’all next week.

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digimon #digi spoilers #this took forever because i loved it so much #so many caps so many comments hahahahaha

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cherry-flavoured-thot · 4 years

Note

I'm feeling kinda angsty. Could you do 40 on the Angst part of the prompts list with Levi?

Prompt list can be found here

Only the real mvps know that i posted this on ao3 first lolol, also this is 1.4k words long, if this post flops i will be disappointed

You had really thought things between you and Levi had been going really well, you and him were spending plenty of time together, playing games, watching anime, geeking out over random things together, just over all having really good times together overall. And when obviously when two people spend a lot of time together it's only natural they grow closer, although you had grown closer to him then anticipated to the point where you noticed when every time you looked at him your chest would start pounding and your face would feel hot. When he smiled or laughed your stomach did backflips and whenever he started excitedly raving about a new game or anime you felt yourself staring with a half-lidded expression and an overly wide smile.

You were in love, that much was obvious, so obvious to the point where you wondered if Levi actually knew that you might feel that way about him, regardless of he did or didn't know about your feelings it was really hard to figure out his own. You had attempted to hint at your feelings, you’d give him gifts and he’d look at you strangely, in fact almost suspiciously like any boxes you gave him had something horrible inside, you'd compliment him and he'd tell you stop joking around, you’d try to touch him sometimes and he recoiled like you had burned him, he apologized afterwards but it still stung.

With those reactions you'd assume he just didn't want you to be around him, but he did, he texted you every five minutes trying to get you to come hang out in his room with him at any given opportunity. If couldn't get you to come to his room, he'd go out his way to hang out in yours, and when you did spend time together you noticed how he'd go out of his way to make you laugh, sometimes when he succeeded he would blush at the sound. Naturally you grew tired of figuring out his feelings, which is why you went to confess your feelings to him directly. You and him were hanging out in his room, you had asked him if he could pause the game so you could tell him something important, he did as you asked turning to you with a look of concern, then you began to confess how you felt.

"Don't even finish that sentence." His cold words had completely cut you off, you stare at him noting how his expression of concern had contorted into one of pure anger, a harsh glare had been directed straight at you, you could feel yourself shrinking underneath it, you attempted an explanation or to at least continue your confession, babbling any words you could think of in hopes to either get your feelings across or to calm him down. All that did was infuriate him, he stood up from his chair, pushing it away from him to the point where it almost went flying.

“Who put you up to this?” He had hissed, taking you completely off guard causing any words to get trapped in your throat. “There’s no way you could love anyone as a gross as me, so you’re lying, you have to be, get out.” You tried to console him, to reassure him it was the case but that only seemed to make him angry. “Get out!” You’d only ever had seen him that angry once before and that was after the TSL quiz. That could be used to explain as to why Lucifer quickly appeared to escort you out, not even allowing you another glance at Leviathan.

The eldest brother originally scolded you, not necessarily for making his brother angry, but mainly getting yourself into yet another mess that could have resulted in your instant death. He had noticed how upset you seemed, with every scolding word you flinched so instead of punishing you, he granted leniency out of pity, allowing you to explain yourself and what happened. Upon hearing your explanation of the situation, he frowned, sighing deeply, quickly telling you not to feel guilty about Levi’s outburst but also not to blame his brother as he was most likely only acting that way due to truly not believing anyone could ever love him.

After that incident you didn’t see or hear from Levi, you ask his brothers if he's okay but they all say he's not letting anyone in his room or speaking to anyone. You texted him, worrying about his wellbeing, when you kept left on read you started sending apology after apology everyday, begging him to talk to you or to at least reply with something, then begging him to at least talk to his brothers. Again left on read, and he continues to ignore the world. When you realised the texts didn't work you started knocked on his door, never getting a single reply only deafening silence. This cycle repeated for about two weeks, until you’re about to give up, sitting at his door making one last plead for him to at least acknowledge your existence, in between knocks.

“Please Levi, please talk to me,” your plead is met again with that deafening silence that you are convinced might actually be killing you, but then you’re surprised when you finally hear movement from the other side of the door and footsteps walking towards it. Even more surprised when he actually opens the door, he stares at you with tired eyes and a blank expression.

“What?”

“Please let me-” you quickly try to assemble all the apologies and thoughts you had come up with over the past two weeks, only to be completely cut off by his cold, almost robotic reply.

“You don’t love me. I get it, just leave me alone.” With that he goes to close the door again and in the moment of not wanting him to block you out again, you call out to him.

“Why are you scared of loving?” He stops, the door staying open just enough so you can still look at him, you see how his face has twisted, almost as if he’s in genuine pain. And the sight makes your heart hurt.

“Because who could ever love someone like me?” You stare at him with a sad look, which he doesn’t notice as he refuses to make any eye contact with you, has self-loathing really warped his thinking this much? That he couldn’t even let you finish confessing because he thought it was a sick prank.

“I love you,” with those thoughts in mind you voiced the three words aloud that he hadn’t wanted to hear from you and you aren’t surprised by his eyes quickly darting up so he can glare at you.

“You’re lying stop it,” you shake your head, daringly pushing the door all the way open, looking him straight into his eyes.

“I’m not lying. I love you.” He bares his fangs at you, so angered by your words that he switches into his demon form. He closes any space between you, making himself look as big as possible to scare you away.

“You don’t love me how could you ever love someone like this?” Despite the blatant fury and danger in front of you, you reach out resting a hand on his cheek, the action causes his eyes to widen, but then you smile at him, with a warmth that shouldn’t be there for how much he pushed you away and he starts to shake.

“I do and I’ll keep saying it until you get it, I love you.” Your words seem to act like tiny knives that cause him to stagger back, he stares at you with a look of anguish and confusion.

“Why? Why do you...” he trails off completely lost in thoughts, self-loathing questioning your every word but the way you’re looking at him shows the truth in them.

“I just do.” There’s a silence, his gaze drops to the floor as he body begins to shake again, you call out to him only to be surprised when he moves at an alarmingly fast pace in your direction. You don’t register what he’s trying to do until his arms wrap tightly around you, chin resting on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” His apology is followed by soft sobs and freely falling tears. You wrap your arms around him, not saying a word just rubbing his back while he cries.

#i saw the prompt and went this one is gonna hurt #leviathan #leviathan obey me #obey me leviathan #om! leviathan #leviathan om!#leviathan x reader #obey me #om!#obey me swd #obey me one master to rule them all #my writing tag #angst #prompts prompts everywhere

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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I've never seen Nikki like this. I've rarely seen him cry, I've never seen him cry sober, and I've never even known it was possible for him to let himself cry like this.

He's sobbing an excruciatingly painful cry, head between his knees, hands in his hair.

Is this how he felt when I was locked in the bathroom for hours, screaming and crying and wailing out sorrow after learning about him and Vanity? Helpless and shitty, knowing he'd go back and change what he did if he could but knowing that telling me that wouldn't make me feel any better?

I don't say anything. Amber doesn't say anything. We both just let him get it all out.

Minutes later, when he starts trying to calm down, he slowly wipes his eyes and glances up at me, before he starts up again, shaking his head, hanging his head low once again.

"Vivian," Amber says softly over him and I look at her. "Go to him." She mouths, motioning to him and I raise my brows.

Has she lost her fucking mind? He's probably pissed and distraught enough to choke me out, right now. He probably hates me, and I don't blame him.

"Go." She mouths, sternly, waving her hand in his direction and I take a heavy breath and slowly get out of my seat and very carefully step to him.

"Nikki," I say weakly, getting on my knees, my shaking hand rubbing his shoulder.

He wraps his arms around me, tight, pulling me to him, burying his face into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He tells me, and I squeeze my eyes shut, squeezing him.

"It's not your fault, Nikki, it's not your fault." I assure him, holding back my own tears.

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, Vivian." He argues through his tears.

We just hold each other, and when he calms down a little bit, Amber calmly says, "Nikki, why are you so upset over this?"

She knows why, she just wants him to confirm.

He pulls away from me and sniffles and I wipe his stray tears with my thumbs before reaching to her desk where she's holding out her box of tissues for me to grab.

"Because I know it's my fault."

"Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Because I had an affair, first, and she went to him because she was really hurt." He shakily lets out, trying to bring himself back down from his hysteria.

"Nikki, look at your wife." Amber says to him and he looks me in the eyes, obviously struggling not to look away. "Repeat after me, alright?"

He nods.

"Vivian, I'm sorry." She starts and more tears topple from his eyes.

"Vivian, I'm--" He takes a breath. "I'm sorry."

"That I made you feel,"

"Like you had no other choice,"

"But to go have sex with someone else,"

"Despite it being no fault of my own,"

"Despite it being…" He closes his eyes and sighs, as if trying to make this part engrain into his mind, "...no fault of my own,"

"Despite you being in charge of your body and what you do with it,"

"I am so sorry."

"Please, forgive me."

"Now, Vivian." Amber says to me, next, and I sniffle, looking at her. "Look at your husband."

I look at him and rub my lips together, nervously.

"Repeat after me." She adds and I nod. "Nikki, I'm sorry."

"Nikki, I'm sorry."

"That I made an irrational decision,"

"After years of hiding hurt and pain and heartbreak because of your irrational decisions,"

"But this is not your fault,"

"I no longer want to blame my mistakes on others,"

"You did not force me to get in bed with someone else,"

"You just made me feel like I didn't have a choice,"

"Because the pain of learning of your affair,"

"Put an irrational thought and sought out decision in my mind and I could not help myself enough to extinguish it."

"Please, forgive me."

"Okay," Amber nods, her voice soothing, "Nikki, what it is that you need to tell Vivian before you two continue to work on this relationship."

It's clear that this is something he's already discussed with her, and I wait patiently as he exhales, very, very, heavily.

I can't imagine what it looked like from outside the door of Amber's office. If a passerby happened to peek in the small little window of the door…

"Roxy, Vanity, Donna…" I shakily state.

I'm not in a ball, pleading with God to kill me like I was when I first found out he had dared to see another woman, but now that I know better…

"...And some others." His tears are dry now, as if he's mustering up all of his macho manliness to brace for impact when I start trying to hit him.

"Some others?" I clench my jaw, my nails digging into his jeans where they're resting over his kneecaps and he rubs his face.

"A few others." He says next, avoiding a definite number.

"How many is a 'few'?" I grit out and he looks at Amber.

"Tell her." She encourages him, sternly.

"Nikki,"

He lets out a breath and he clears his throat.

"If a 'few' were to have a number, about how many would it be that you've had some exchange that would be considered cheating in your wife's mind, from the time you got married to now." Amber adds.

"Around two-hundred." He admits.

I think he's kidding at first, over exaggerating or being sarcastic because I can't fathom sleeping with two hundred people in four years while in a supposed committed relationship.

"You're full of shit." I let out a terrified chuckle and he closes his eyes for a second. "Seriously, Nikki, what's the number?"

"Why does it matter? You're staying with him after one, aren't you?" Amber asks and I look at her.

"Maybe a little more than that, maybe a little less, I didn't try to keep count." He mumbles.

"Y-You've slept with…you…" I feel a prickling, scalding heat all over my skin.

I get myself away from him to try to calm myself down, but I can't.

It's like putting baking soda and vinegar together.

"Nikki, why did you do that?" Is all I can get out that isn't about how much I hate him right now.

"The same reason you went to him. Because I felt like I didn't have any other option and I was desperate."

"Desperate for what?!" I demand, enraged, now.

"Vivian," Amber starts but I completely cut her short.

"I went to Duff because I had spent years in a marriage with a junkie that did everything he could to choose drugs over me and throw me to the fucking wolves!"

"And I spent years in a marriage to an ungrateful bitch that I couldn't ever make happy!" He snaps next, standing up.

"I would've been plenty happy had you sobered the fuck up!"

"You'd lay in bed for weeks at a time and refuse to take your fucking medication and then wouldn't even let me try to touch you, Vivian, and God fucking knows the times you'd actually let me try to get it in, you'd lay there like sex with me was the most boring chore in the fucking world! And the times you weren't like that, you'd still manage to watch me break my back to make you happy and then spit in my fucking face and act like it wasn't ever gonna be enough, that I wasn't ever gonna be a enough!"

"I was depressed, Nikki!"

"Trust me, I know, I fucking know!" He shouts back.

An ear piercing screech makes us both shut up and wince, and I see Amber holding an airhorn.

"I don't yell." She states, a brow raised as she looks at us. "Sit down. Both of you." She orders next and we both slowly sit down, taking deep breaths. "No wonder you're in such bad shape--neither of you know how to talk to each other. You just talk at each other and start yelling when the other person gets defensive over you talking at them." She snaps, shaking her head a little. "And quit cursing at each other. That's another reason you're in this mess. You're both bitter and poisonous and contaminating each other." She adds, sternly, and we slink down in our chairs. "Vivian, he has shot you, he has strangled you, publicly humiliated you, he has chosen everything under the sun over you, but you draw the line at the fact he's had sex with two-hundred other women?"

I don't say a word.

"Why is that the thing that's going to break the camel's back? When you come in here pregnant with another man's baby and got him on his knees crying and telling you it's his fault?" She goes in on me. "Go from crying and boohooing together to calling each other awful names and cursing and 'eff this' and 'eff that' and 'eff you'--can I tell you something? You can't stand each other now but once upon a time you must've really liked whatever it is that drives you crazy about the other person because you chose each other and married each other." She reminds us. "And I know it isn't just the drugs that cause fights because he's completely sober today and you're jumping on him for being honest with you when there's been times he has lied through his teeth to hell and back to you." She looks at me. "And you," she looks at Nikki. "I better not hear you ever call your wife a 'bitch' again. She's not a dog, even though you love to talk to her like she is one."

Again, we're both quiet.

"Vivian, how do you feel about Nikki admitting to you that he's been unfaithful?" She asks.

"You can't tell how I feel?" I smartly ask.

"Screaming and cursing isn't explaining how you feel. I don't specialize in translating foolishness--I specialize in helping people heal through positive communication--not verbal abuse." She replies. "Now, how do you feel about what your husband shared with you?"

"I'm mad."

"Why?"

"Because…" I feel tears come to my eyes.

"Because why?"

I sniffle.

"You two talk to each other like you've never had to walk through something and communicate peacefully and calmly about a situation." She says next, handing me a tissue.

"We haven't, really." Nikki admits while I'm occupied with trying to stop my crying.

"You've been together for six years, nearly seven, and you've never talked through a disagreement or bump in the road?"

We both just avoid looking at her.

"You just yell and scream until one of you finally gives up in the argument and drops it completely?" She asks next.

"Basically." He says.

"Sex." I add, wiping my nose. "We usually just sleep together and then we're over whatever it is we were fighting about." I explain and she raises her brows.

"I promise you, none of it's been taken care of or gotten over. Anything you've fought about in the past that you tried to fix with sex has all been pent up and built up over the years and has been coming out within the last year, especially, in some form of abuse or neglect to the other person." She informs us. "And that's why you're so angry." She tells me. "Because that is a potent form of intimacy that you have on a pedestal and it's important to you. And while you've been using it over the years as a means to make things right with him, and to try to be intimate with him and reconnect with him while he's been closed off on drugs and not himself, he's been going out and giving it away to whoever."

I nod because it's true and she nods with me.

"I know why he went to so many other women and we'll get to that in a moment, why did you start your relationship with the now father of your child?" She asks me calmly.

"Because I was tired." I admit, my tears finally subsiding. "And I was hurt, and I just needed to be with someone who wouldn't hurt me."

"You needed someone who would protect you."

"Yes." I agree, sniffling.

"There's a theme that keeps reoccurring with you and it's overexposure and need of protection," She tells me and I nod, "Which is typically what fathers are in charge of in the household so tell me what your dad was like while you were growing up." She says and I lick my lips, smiling, thinking of my dad.

"The best dad in the world. He'd help me get ready for recitals if my mom couldn't, he'd take me anywhere I needed to go, he'd help me sneak things past my mom like records or clothes she wouldn't approve of or whatever, he'd be there if I needed to talk about anything--with no judgement--he was really good to me, and he still is." I tell her and she nods, smiling.

"What I'm about to say isn't meant to belittle all the wonderful things he's done for you or undermine the work he's put in to raising you the best he could, but with your incredibly abrasive mother," she starts, "would he ever step in when she was tearing you down or would he just try to keep the peace?"

"He did a couple times but for the most part he'd just tell me to ignore her and wouldn't start anything with her while she was doing it."

"So he didn't protect you when he should have?"

I stop for a moment, and look at her, pointedly.

"I'm not saying he didn't love you or care for you and didn't look out for you--but when it came to your mother, did he or did he not do everything he could to protect you from her mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse?"

"No." I breathe out shakily.

"So you went from a father who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to, to a husband who didn't protect you and allowed you to be exposed to things you should not have been exposed to."

I nod again.

"Do you know why he's had sex with so many women?"

I shake my head.

I don't think, "because he hates me," would be an acceptable answer.

"Do you know why you've had sex with that many women while you were with Vivian?" She asks Nikki and he thinks about it for a second.

"...I was bored." He says and she chuckles humorlessly.

"Just a second ago you were throwing in her face that you went where you were going to feel appreciated. So put your ego aside." She states, furrowing her brows. "'I did the drugs because I was bored, I slept with all those women because I was bored, I put my wife through a living hell because I was bored'." She mimics so he can see how he sounds when he says it. "I don't think the man sitting here, crying over his wife getting pregnant with another man, had sex with one other woman, let alone two-hundred just because he was bored." She states, matter of fact. "Put this tough guy persona away and just be honest."

He gets really quiet, his leg shaking as his foot taps.

"Do you know the situation with his mother?" She asks me, suddenly.

"I know the gist of it, he hasn't told me much about it." I tell her and she looks at him.

"You expect your wife to understand why you do the things you do but you don't give her the information to piece together why you are the way you were brought up to be." She tells him. "We're out of time, but at some point before we meet again on Saturday, I want you to talk about your relationship with your mother." She says and he nods, hesitantly.

I look at him and can't bring myself to even say goodbye to him before I'm getting up and leaving.

I can barely make it to my car without nearly tripping, tears clouding my vision.

I get inside and hold my chest, feeling as if my heart is breaking all over again.

Neither of us know each other anymore. I don't recognize him, not even sober, and I know he doesn't recognize me.

Is this even worth it after all we've done to each other?

I wrinkle my nose slightly as I put my big toe up the bathtub's water faucet, expecting a big spider or something to bite me.

Dropping my foot back into the water, I let out a breath.

I've been sitting in luke warm water that was hot once upon a time.

Now my skin's pruned and I'm waiting to get the motivation to just get up.

It's the first attempt at self-care in two days and it's only because Nikki's been wanting to fool around and I haven't felt like it.

I'm hoping being clean helps me feel like it.

There's two knocks at the bathroom door before he's barging in, giving me a smile that brings his dimples to life.

"I have food in the kitchen whenever you get out." He tells me, stepping to the tub, sitting on the edge of it.

"I'll be there in a little bit." I assure him.

"That's what you said an hour ago, Vivian." He reminds me harmlessly and I look at him and force myself to smile a tad.

"Oh." I reply.

There's a pause between us and he rubs the back of his neck.

"Vivian, are you okay?" He asks, and I look up at him, forcing myself not to cry, and nod.

"I'm fine, baby," I lie. "Just tired is all."

"Still? You've been in bed for, like, nearly three days." He points out.

"I'm just tired, Nikki." I repeat in the same tone, trying to sound convincing.

He's not buying it, and when drops of tears push past my lashes, I know I'm no longer selling it.

"I think maybe you need to get back on your medication." He suggests very quietly, as if saying it too loud is going to cause me to have a meltdown.

"I don't need to be on it." I argue, wiping my eyes, sniffling and trying to force myself to stop crying.

"Vivian, you're not fucking happy."

"You don't know that."

"I know when you're happy and when you're not." He points out…"Do I need to get you something or buy something or--"

"--I don't want anything, Nikki." I state.

"Well, I do." He informs me. "I wanna see my wife happy, again, genuinely happy. Not that fake bullshit you put on for me." He clarifies. "So, just--"

"--Get out." I say, shutting him down, not wanting to hear about it.

He rolls his jaw and nods, getting up and leaving.

He's back with a glass of water and my bottle of Nardil, putting them both on the side of the tub and standing over me to make sure I take it like he wants me to.

I look at him, hurt, my brows furrowing, my eyes cutting at him, anger coursing through me as more tears topple down my cheeks and tense up.

"Get out." I repeat.

"I'm not leaving until you stop being stubborn and take the damn--"

The water is slung at him while the glass is thrown at the mirror as, "get out!" Screeches out of my throat as I open the bottle and try to ring it in the toilet, sending pills flying in all directions while the bottle with a majority of the pills plops into the water all while I'm repeatedly screeching, "get out, get out, get out!" as tears sting my cheeks.

"Vivian, fuck--"

I'm hauling myself out of the tub and he avoids my violent intent by finally leaving, slamming the door behind him, and I slip and catch myself on the door knob, making sure to lock it as waves of weight push me to the floor, my chest hurting, my body aching, my spirit crying out to God for mercy.

I should have told him then about my recurrent miscarriages, I just didn't know how to. I just let myself take it and deal with it on my own and he took it as me being batshit crazy and depressed. I was, truthfully, but I had reason to be. I struggled with my medication because I didn't want to have to take a pill to be happy, but I was also beginning to think it was ruining my body and skewering each pregnancy. It wasn't, but I didn't know that, so I'd take it for a while, wean myself off, and ease back into it whenever I felt like I needed to through the years. I don't think I ever went a full complete year without purposely getting myself off of it at least once.

I shut my car door as I get out, raising my brow at the site of Duff's car in my driveway, stepping to the front door.

I haven't heard anything from him.

Which I've been prepared not to. I can play the kid off as Nikki's if I have to.

He didn't say anything yesterday when I told him I was pregnant. I mean, literally, nothing.

I sat for twenty minutes just waiting for him to try to discuss it but all he did was sit and stare off into space, his face ghost white while Mandy excused herself to their room and probably cried the rest of the night.

I guess he's got something to say, now.

I go inside, putting my kids on the little table next to the door, kicking my heels off and carrying them in my hand.

I turn the light on when I get out of the foyer, and see Duff passed out on the couch.

He's got a vodka bottle tucked under his arm and put my stuff down and go over to him, taking the bottle away before he spills it on the couch.

He takes in a breath, waking up and rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, Viv," he tells me, sitting up the best he can, trying to pry the sleep from his eyes.

I sit on the coffee table across from him, sighing out.

"Hey, Duff," I reply, looking at him.

"What time is it?" He asks me, next.

"Four o'clock." I inform him.

"Oh," he mumbles, being quiet for another moment. "You look pretty." He says next and I smile a little.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He chuckles. "Which I guess that's what got us into this mess in the first place." He adds. "Well, not you being pretty--just me being a dumbass." He slurs, taking a deep breath.

"Is Mandy okay?"

"Yeaaaah, she's not too happy with me right now." He admits. "I never told her about me and you when we got back together."

"Oh." I say.

"Oh." He repeats.

"You know, Duff, you don't have to do all this…" I start, rubbing my lips together. "...If you're not comfortable with trying to make this work--because it's pretty unconventional--I'm not gonna be upset with you."

"I had a shitty dad who left my mom to deal with bullshit she shouldn't have had to deal with by herself and I'm not doing that to you. That's fucked up. I did the crime, I can do the time." He states, tiredly.

"I'm not gonna be by myself," I remind him, "Nikki's upset but he's not disowning me or anything." I add and he scoffs.

"Of course he isn't." He sighs. "I think Mandy's still gonna stay with me. She hasn't thrown out her ring, so…"

"Her ring?" I ask him, furrowing my brows.

"I asked her to marry me yesterday morning." He informs me.

"Oh, wow, tha-that's great, Duff."

Was it completely stupid for him to propose to Mandy not even seven weeks after we broke up? Absolutely. Was it completely stupid of him to marry her three months later? Absolutely. Was I going to piss on his parade more than I already had? Absolutely not.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

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spawn0fsatan · 4 years

Text

Under the Stars

JJ Maybank x Reader

You find a lonely JJ on the beach late at night. See what comes next... Angsty with a dash of fluff.

I stand a little ways away from the big crowd in the center of the kegger that I’m currently attending, holding my red solo cup of beer close to my chest with my arms crossed. Honestly, parties weren’t really my thing, but hanging out with my friends (who dragged me here) apparently is my thing so here I am, all alone at a party. I guess that’s where I fit in the Kook world, the buzzkill friend who’s dragged to parties.

“Gosh darn it,” I mutter as I see my best friend, Ruby, (aka my ride home) macking on some random touron. Great, that’s just what I need, to walk home from a party I don’t wanna be at. Sighing and grumbling incoherent curses at my luck, I take off my sandals and start walking down the beach trying to get away from the scene I want to escape.

My peaceful, aimless walk down and around away from the Boneyard is great and everything until I hear a feminine voice yell-

“JJ STOP IT!”

Why can’t I just avoid people?

There’s three people about fifteen, maybe twenty feet away from me. One girl and two boys. How nice. Given I don’t wanna go back towards the Boneyard and I definitely don’t wanna get myself involved in whatever the heck is goin on over there, I make the best decision I possibly can.

I plop myself down right where I’m standing, not really caring about the sand getting all over my clothes, stare up at the brilliant starry sky and just wait for whoever it is to just get done arguing.

They continue to argue for a few more minutes until two of the said people storm off towards me. I close my eyes quick as I can and pretend to be asleep as they pass by me so I don’t seem like a snoop. They seem to not even pay me any mind as they stomp past, the girl grumbling about how this “JJ” has been so unreasonable for the past month, and the boy trying (and failing) to calm her down.

It doesn’t surprise me that I wasn’t noticed, avoiding social interaction whenever possible is my forte.

I get up after a few minutes and shake my hair to get rid of at least some of the sand. I continue my walk down the beach up until I’m a few feet away from who I assume is JJ. He’s sat down, hunched over his knees that are brought up to his chest and seems to be crying.

“U-uhm, hello?” I softly say. He jumps and looks up at me, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Uh, hi?” He coughs then looks back at the ocean.

“Do you mind if I sit?” I ask after a few seconds.

“It’s a free country,” he sniffs. So I sit down next to him.

“I’m Y/n, what’s your name?”

“Why do you care?” He snaps, his head whipping around to face me.

Ok, jeez, who pissed in his Cheerios?

“Oh I don’t know,” I huff and roll my eyes, “maybe because I was walking down the beach and stumbled upon this guy who’s crying. And I, like most other decent people, thought I should try and help.”

“I don’t need your pity.” He grumbles and turns back to the ocean. His blonde hair is moved a bit to the side by a slight breeze while my own h/c hair is blown straight into my face. I immediately push my hair back out of my face.

“Are you always this friendly to people?” He just turns and glares at me. I widen my eyes and turn to the crashing waves. “Jeez, it was a joke. Lighten up, laugh a little, I hear it’s good for ya.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re a Kook,” he scoffs.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I inquire, turning back to him, offended by his statement.

“It means that you, probably a Kook Princess, have most likely had your life handed to you on a silver platter,” he spits, there’s venom in his words, “That you have probably never had to worry about where your next meal is coming from or when you’re going to have power after a hurricane. You have no worries and the perfect life up on fancy Figure 8.

“While people on The Cut don’t have those things. We have to work two jobs just to survive. We’re always blamed for the shit Kooks do within the blink of an eye. So I’m so sorry I don’t want to spill my heart out to you, Princess.”

I run my tongue over my teeth and look down at the sand. I hate that he pretty much summed up most of my life while also lugging me into the same category as Rafe, Topper, and Kelce.

“How presumptuous of you,” I manage to whisper out as I drag my finger numbly through the sand beside my knee.

“What?”

“I said how presumptuous of you,” I repeat louder. “You probably think I’m a bitch huh?”

“If the shoe fits,” he sarcastically says with a half-assed shrug.

“Would a bitch want to come see what’s wrong and comfort you?” I fume, glaring daggers right at his striking blue eyes. He looks taken aback by this. He holds my gaze for a few moments with widened, shocked eyes until I huff and go to stand up, “whatever, this was stupid anyway-“

“JJ!” He exclaims and grabs my wrist to stop me. I look at him questioningly. “My name- my name is JJ.” He says getting quieter towards the end and looking down at the sand. I smile triumphantly (even though I’m still kinda frustrated with him) and drop back down next to him.

“Now we’re gettin somewhere,” I remark and he rolls his eyes.

“I guess,” he chuckles.

“So!” I turn my body to face him as he raises an eyebrow at me. “What is bothering a handsome boy like you?”

“Oh,” his face drops and he avoids eye contact. “It’s nothing.”

“Bullshit, you were literally crying,” I deadpan. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” he breathes. After a few seconds I motion for him to continue and he complies. “My home life- uh- isn’t really the best, my best friend is lost at sea, and I feel like my other friends want nothing to do with me.”

“What do you mean?” I ask incredulously and make an overly confused face at him.

“I just- they’re together now and it feels like they don’t need me. Or even want me.” My heart breaks as he says this.

So, I make the best decision I possibly can.

I hug him.

He stiffens in surprise at first, but then he crumbles into my arms. His face goes to the crook of my neck and his arms go around my waist. He pulls back after a few minutes.

“I uh,” he says as he picks his head up to face me once again, ”Sorry about- uh-“

“It’s fine,” I reply, his arms are still around my waist and mine have moved up to his shoulders. “Hey uhm, were those your friends that were storming away earlier?”

“Huh?” He looks so confused.

“Uhm, there were two people walking away from you right before I came over here-“

“You saw that?”

“Uh- I didn’t mean to snoop or anything, that girl was being pretty loud,” I rush out as I feel my cheeks heating up.

“Her name’s Kiara, or Kie for short. And the guy is Pope.”

“Ohhhhh, ok,” I nod I understanding. “I think you’re wrong by the way.”

“About what?” He asks, obviously clueless to how much his friends care about him.

“It seems that your friends care about you a lot. I mean, you don’t get that frustrated over someone unless you really care about them.”

“Thanks Y/n,” he smiles.

“Anytime, also. May I offer you some advice?”

“Do I really have a choice?” He asks flatly, cocking his head to the side.

“Nope!” I say popping the p.

“Fire away then Princess,” he shakes his head. The nickname isn’t filled with venom as he says it this time and it makes my cheeks flush once again. I mean, honestly. Who wouldn’t want to be called princess by such a cute guy?

“You should talk to your friends, they probably won’t know how you’re feeling unless you say anything.”

He nods his head, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Thanks.”

“No problem,” I reply. I then check my phone and decide I should probably get home so my parents won’t get mad. “I should actually probably get going.” I state, untangling myself from JJ and standing up. He stands as well.

“Ah, ok,” he responds, rubbing the back of his neck and looking off to the side.

“Although, I would like to hear how everything goes with your friends, so, wanna grab lunch or something tomorrow?” He turns to me in genuine surprise. “Uh, or if you don’t want to-“

“I’d love to,” he cuts me off.

“Sweet, uhm, where do ya wanna meet?”

“How about at The Wreck?” He asks shuffling his feet.

“Sounds great, does 12 work for you?”

“Yup, see ya there Princess,” he answers and walks off.

“Definitely see you there,” I whisper to myself, biting my lip and walking back up the beach. I laugh a little, my heart feeling a little lighter after helping JJ. I can’t wait for lunch tomorrow.

I hum a song as I walk, the stars lighting my way home.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #obx #the outer banks #obx netflix #x reader #kook!reader #the kooks #the pogues #kiara carrera #kie #pope #pope heyward #reader insert #fluff #minor angst

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stilesssolo · 4 years

Note

for random prompts “welcome back, now fucking help me” whichever verse! ❤️

Lol I have accepted defeat and am writing all of these in the WTWTA ‘verse. Also I changed the sentence a lil bit to make it make more sense I’M SORRY.

(this got SUPER long so the rest is under the cut)

33. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

Gods, Jon still hasn’t gotten used to how bloody hot it is in King’s Landing yet.

He squints against the sunlight as he climbs out of his car, slamming the door behind him. Six months, he’s been in this city now. It’s so different from Winterfell that he feels like he’s on a different planet most of the time.

Maybe that’s a good thing, though. The warmth helps him forget, he’s found. Forget about the past. Everything that happened that led him to here.

Jon twirls his keys around his fingers as he pulls the building door open, the cool air conditioning washing over him providing instant relief from the heat. It’s nice, being in a new city, and closer to Robb, Sansa, and even Arya now that she’s back from her semester abroad, but the weather-- that he doesn’t think he’ll ever become accustomed to.

He takes the stairs slowly up to the floor his apartment is on, remembering the words of his doctor during the appointment he’d just come from. He’s healing, and his heart is getting stronger, but still not as strong as it once was. It’s been almost a year now-- he thought he’d be better by now, but everything is still an exercise in pacing himself. Soon, the doctor had said. Soon you’ll be back to normal.

Jon’s not even sure he knows what normal is anymore.

He tries to block out the thoughts, not let his mind get dragged back down into that dark place it’d only recently climbed out of as he opens his apartment door.

“I’m back--” Jon calls out to his roommates, but the words die in his mouth.

What awaits him is pure and utter chaos.

Someone’s screaming-- Pyp, probably, judging by the sound, and he catches a quick flash of white race by at the end of the hallway, closely followed by Sam. Oh, gods, he thinks, taking a step into the hallway, realizing that their flooring has somehow become... black?

“Get back here, you beast!” Pyp hollers, and then Jon sees him run across the living room as well. Upon closer inspection, he sees paw prints in the black mess tracked up and down the hallway, and his stomach drops.

“Oh, fuck,” Jon whispers.

Grenn appears at the end of the hallway then, covered in snowy white dog hair and black... whatever it is. Paint? Ink? Jon’s not sure, but it’s not good. “Welcome back,” Grenn says, chest heaving. “Now fucking help us.”

“What... what happened?” Jon says, heart pounding as he sidesteps the tracks of black up and down the hallway, entering the living room. Ghost is racing circles, barking with glee, as Sam and Pyp try to corner him.

“Ghost got into my new fuckin’ printer,” Grenn says, gesturing at the shredded cardboard box and mess of plastic parts on the coffee table. “And somehow managed to empty the ink cartridge onto everything.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jon repeats, eyes wide with horror. “Ah... Ghost, stop it! C’mere, boy!”

His dog doesn’t come, but he hesitates long enough that Pyp is able to tackle him, Sam grabbing his collar just in case. Ghost, sweet, wonderful idiot that he is, thinks it’s a game, because he rolls over in Pyp’s arms, licking at his face. His paws are painted black with ink as well, his entire underbelly coated in it.

“Oh, gods,” Sam says, pushing Ghost’s inky foot away from him. “What do we do, Jon? We have to clean him up!”

“Don’t forget the fuckin’ apartment!” Pyp grumbles, face half full of fur.

“Er...” Jon says, mind blank. His heart is racing, taking in the destruction his dog has caused. “Uh, Grenn, get his crate, in my room. Take the bed out of it; drag it out here.” He carefully walks across the living room as Grenn disappears down the hall towards his room, sidestepping ink spills and pawprints on the floor. Thank fuck they don’t have real hardwood.

“Hey, boy,” Jon says, gently easing Ghost’s collar from Sam’s grip. “What’d you do, boy, huh? Why’d you go make such a mess?”

He knows the answer is because he’s a wolfdog, and Jon can’t exactly exercise him as much as he should be right now, because of his heart. He needs to talk to Robb about that-- maybe he can run him with Grey Wind, just until Jon’s able to once again. Or maybe he should listen to Arya, and start looking for easy hiking trails through the Kingswood.

Ghost has been the sole reason he’s gotten out of bed most of these past few months, his best friend through all of it. And he’s still a puppy, really, even though he’s far from the size of one now. It’s not fair to him to not have the absolute best life he could have, regardless of Jon’s recovery.

“Here,” Grenn says, depositing the crate by the sofa. Carefully, Jon leads his dog to it, Ghost’s tail wagging all the way as he herds him in and closes the door.

“Alright,” Sam says, standing up, his expression wildly overwhelmed. “I’ll, uh, get a mop?”

It takes them hours, but finally they get all the ink off the floor, the printer pieces in the trash, and any clothing that was stained in the wash. Jon takes Ghost into the bathroom, scrubs him down vigorously in the tub until the water runs clean. His paws are still tinged a little black, but he figures they’ll have to wait for the rest of it to wear off. He’s not tracking it anywhere anymore, at least.

Jon feeds Ghost dinner, the excitement wearing him out enough where he curls up on his end of the couch, paws tucked under his head, deep red eyes sliding closed. He looks so angelic, Jon thinks. Nothing like a dog who just tried to completely destroy his owner’s apartment.

His flatmates are all on the sofa, blankly watching the match that’s on TV. Hesitantly, Jon takes a seat between Grenn and Sam. They don’t look at him, and suddenly, fear seizes his heart.

They’re going to kick him out, he realizes. They’re going to tell him to pack his bags and get his destructive dog and get the hell out of their apartment. His stomach flops, blood in his veins suddenly like ice at the realization that more of his brothers are about to turn on him.

“I’m so sorry,” Jon finally says, unable to stand the silence. “Truly, I am. I never thought he would...” he trails off, nerves twisting in knots.

“Eat a fuckin’ printer?” Grenn says, and on the other side of the couch, Pyp laughs. “I never did either, really.”

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Jon offers, but Grenn shakes his head. There’s a bit of a smile on his face now, and the knots in his stomach ease for a moment.

“It’s fine,” he says, shrugging. “You told us he’s more destructive than other dogs. It’s my fault, for leavin’ it out here and leavin’ him with it.”

“I’m goin’ to work on his training,” Jon promises, and Ghost lifts his head, regarding all of them. “And I’ll have Robb run him, so he gets more exercise, until I can start runnin’ again, and I’ll...” he exhales. “I won’t let it happen again. But I still understand if you want me gone.”

All his flatmates look at him, expressions confused. “Are you serious?” Pyp asks, and Jon’s sharp, ragged breath out makes his eyes widen. “Fuck, Jon, d’you really think we’d kick you out because of this?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t blame you,” he says, but Sam’s laughing now, and so is Grenn, and all of a sudden he feels so much lighter.

“Don’t be daft,” Sam says. “You’re our brother, Jon. You’re not going anywhere.”

“And neither is this guy,” Pyp says, leaning over to reach Ghost, ruffling his ears. Ghost yips, standing up on the couch and rolling into Pyp’s lap, presenting his belly for rubs. “Who else would practically pee himself with excitement every time I came home?”

“Well, certainly not me,” Grenn huffs, and Jon laughs, watching his flatmates fawn over his dog, laughing with him. The knots untangle, the leaden ball in his stomach disappears.

Jon looks over at Ghost, and for the first time in a while, he feels like he really belongs somewhere.

#l o l straight up forgot Sam used to live with them when Jon first moved to KL #WHOOPS #sorry edd #I think at this point he's still in the night's watch lol #where the wild things are #drabbles #my writing #asks #answered #Anonymous

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