#sorry. thinking about that episode again. literally why did they do that. god.

[twig---verginix]

swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever

[bvnnywrites]

Still Waters Run Deep

Chapter 2: Überprüfen

PAIRING: Eldritch!König x Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the very long wait. My body gave out on stress and I passed out the side of the road this Monday on my way home. Also, I was manic and I had an episode yesterday so yayeet. Also, I read all your comments in the last chapter and asvbhbvdvdhdhfhv I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH RAHHHHHH. Anyways, enjoy the chapter! UwU

WARNING: NON-CON/DUB-CON, DARK, SMUT, NSFW, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Fingering, Stomach Bulge, Age Gap, Unprotected Sex, Cockwarming, Implied Discharge, Power Imbalance, Abuse of Authority, No Beta Reader, Dom! König, Size Kink, Size Difference, Cannibalism, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Older!König, Eldritch!König, Monster!König, Masturbation, Dark Romance, Blood and Gore, Violence, Monsterfucking

THE ONLY INTERESTING THING TO DO AT KORTAC, if he wasn’t out and about in the field, was apparently dwelling in the thought of committing fraternization – and König chided himself that he was better than this.

But there’s nothing to worry about. Of course, he isn’t losing sleep overthinking the eager look on your face to get in his good graces—his approval and validation. No. he isn’t staying up late, seeing your adorable pouty lips and sweet-looking eyes glancing up at him because you’re too small whether you stood or sat. Especially, the softness of your flesh when he held your chin to make you look at him, or the warmth of your body when he soothed you from seeing those disgusting pictures.

König definitely does not want to know every detail of your life—what your flesh taste like pressed against his tongue, what it feels like as the tentacles on his face roam your body and leaving slick in its trail, what you like or hate, what blood type you have, how soft your hair is when he’s gripping it in his fingers while he’s shoving his cock deep in your little cunt, what your favorite position in bed is, what it feels like to have your pussy milking him desperately as he breeds you again and again until you’re pregnant with his children.

No.

No.

Who the hell was he kidding?

He’s is a fucking pervert—the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

What he’s doing is fucking disgusting and he can’t believe that he’s thinking this way about you. God, König knows he’s a thousand shades of fucked up, but he did not expect to be like this. The colonel never expected he’d go this fucking low. He doesn’t want to be like he’s father—a disgusting fucker who was selfish and sick in the head—but he can’t help but fall straight down the rabbit hole and into the maws of the abyss of his own wicked desires.

König is a fucking disgusting creep because you’re so sweet, calm and understanding when he threw the first few layers of ugliness from his soul, dumping it on your lap, and you so graciously comforted him. He is disgusting because you’re literally twenty-three years younger than him, old enough to be his daughter, and yet your eagerness to obtain his approval has him losing his shit. You have him losing his morals. The softness of your skin has him wanting more, his teeth clenched with poorly contained desire, and yet he demands more – to be closer, to reach into the depths of your soul and twist it until you’re as fucked up as he is—craving him the way he craves you. You have him understanding why his father did what he did because now he thinks that maybe the sick fuck couldn’t control himself in the presence of his ‘Aphrodite’.

And you… you were König’s ‘Aphrodite’—the embodiment of his desires, both good and bad.

He is a fucking pervert because you were eager to help him in this manhunt for the so-called beast. Eager and desperate to advance in the ranks of the military – that’s all you were probably hoping, but instead of following the logical side, König had let himself be swayed by the waves of his depravity.

König was always proud of his self-control – his more human nature that he had inherited from his beloved mother. He never thought the day would come where these sickening thoughts would run in his mind. He was a monster, yes, but nature does have a way of being more predominant than nurture. At least, in this case. It didn’t even matter that his mother – who despised and loved him at the same time – had engrained the Lord’s teachings into his head or the holy scriptures that she would beat into his flesh.

All those teachings went to waste because at the end of the day, he was his father’s son.

He could see the disappointing and disgusted look on his mother’s face right now.

But all that washes away when his mind comforts him with the thoughts of you. The way your pretty eyes look up at him through long lashes, the way your voice addresses him has desire pumping in König’s veins. Because somehow, when it comes to you, he feels calm as he feels the need to lash out. He feels the need to bite and claw at you, marking you as his own little wife to love and to fuck. He wants to rip off his mask in front of you and make you braid his hair and weave flowers into it because you called him ‘beautiful’, wants to let one of his tentacles slither around your neck while he bites you and marks you as his. His little and eager to please mate—his beloved wife-to-be.

He can still see your pouty face, as if you’re there right in front of him. Your pretty wide eyes looking up at him—looking at him as if he wasn’t a disgusting monster—like an actual breathing person. Your scent lingers in his nose for the past two days. You smelled delicious – divine, if he’s honest. You reeked of the shower gel that you use,  and that suffocating perfume—or is it a cologne?—that you’re using to make yourself fresh. Several thoughts ran in his head, wanting nothing more than to smother you in his scent. Rubbing his smell all over you, until every single being—doesn’t matter if mortal or not—would know that you’re his.

The thought itself had his cock twitching more than it did before. It’s throbbing hard, leaking precum all over his hand as he pumps it with his fist while the other grips the sheets. Judging from your smaller form against his, you’d definitely be fucking tight, which was why he was gripping it mercilessly. The pictures of pin-up girls had long been discarded. He doesn’t need those when he has your pretty face, adorable ass, and alluring scent engraved in his mind. He’s a fucking perverted old dog… and it was all because of you.

König wants to have you on his knees before him. Relieving him of his stress by wrapping your adorable lips around the head of his dick, soft tongue lapping at the precum he’s making as if you’re a goddess and the gushing liquid was ambrosia—the very thing you needed to live.

He wants to take care of you, cradle you in his arms and pepper your face with kisses and show you how much he can just provide for you—KorTac isn’t cheap in their payments, and he is one of their best mercenaries they have, not counting the huge mess he has made that his superiors are ordering him to clean up. He was too valuable for them to lose, so they’re just asking him to wipe away the evidence and pin the blame on some poor soldier who was there at the wrong place at the right time.

König wants nothing more than to hold you close. He can’t even think about letting you fall in the grasp of another man—whether they be as old as him or young as your age, whichever you prefer—because you are fragile as you are gullible. He can tell by the way your eyes glimmer at him or the kindness that blossoms on your face whenever you cater to the soldiers under your command, acting as if you’re a mother to them. He wants you to be his. His little, beloved wife. Waiting for him in the house he’d buy for you in Hallstatt or maybe he’d catch you walking along the shoreline of the lake while you’re telling stories of yours and his love story to his unborn child that grows in your womb.

By God König wanted you more than anything.

He’s thinking of putting you on your knees, preferably on his bed so it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable in the long run, so you can be comfortable while he shoves his cock down your throat. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, little whines and moans vibrating from you and on to his length and muffled from how strong his thrusts are inside your tight, wet, and warm mouth.

 Your face would be messy, mascara running down your cheeks, if you had any, and lip gloss smeared and staining his cock. And König would try to be gentle, so he wouldn’t end up breaking you, but it’d be impossible when you’re so eager to please him. You’d have trouble barking out orders and speaking normally, because he knows he’d wreck your throat by the time he’s done with you.

König is fantasizing about it—having you in such a state, making use of your delicate mouth and moving tongue.

But guilt flashes across his mind. No. No, he couldn’t do that to you. You’re a fragile little thing—not to mention a human. You’re like an adorable little mouse beneath him. Breaking you would break him too—hurting you would hurt him too.

He is a worthless monster, a disgusting being that should be shot dead for just thinking of you—his klein hase—like this. That woman who read his future was right. He was depraved. He’d ruin you…

But God have mercy on him because he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to back the fuck away from you.

Your name falling from his lips like a prayer, chanting your name as if you’d be able to save him from eternal damnation – and maybe you could, in your own human way. A primal and dark urge to have you in his full mercy, waiting for him to claim you. He… He just wants to be accepted by people, to be welcomed by his peers, but none of it matters now because he just wants to be accepted by you. He’s panting and groaning, pumping his dick several times, chasing that climax. He is shamelessly hard, cock angry as it's about to burst.

König feels dirty for this. He felt like a teenage boy who’s jerking off to his crush. And despite that, he’s imagining you sucking on his cock or having your forehead pressed against his, whispering how much you love him and how you can’t wait to be filled with his cock. He imagines your cum-drunk expression, eyes glazed as your head is muddled and filled with nothing but pleasure, and that makes him cum; thick ropes of white shooting out from the tip, while his cock pulsates as he pumps it continuously before gradually slowing to a halt.

He keeps cumming, more than he usually does. The white, thick liquid staining his abdomen, pants, and sheets. He moans, biting his lips in a poor attempt to conceal his pathetic whimpers. His release covering his hand—sticky and disgustingly warm. Bless KorTac for allowing him and other high-ranking superiors to have their own room, because he knows goddamn well that he won’t be able to commit such sinful acts in communal barracks.

Post-nut clarity hits him hard, almost the same way his mother would, and he’s shameful for what he had just done. The two of you barely know each other, only getting information about you out of your files, and yet he was infatuated with you the moment you arrived on KorTac that sunny day. And yet he fell in love completely in just a matter of two days after talking with you.

He wants to resent you for what you made him do. He wants to worship you and mark your body with his marks. He wants to be left alone—preferably in your arms while you stroke his hair and look at him lovingly because no one ever looked at him the same way you do.

“Mein Gott, Shatz. What are you doing to me, liebling?”

König pants, letting his head fall back into the pillow as he sighed. His muscles relaxed, so much that he feels like he’s going to be one with the mattress. He lays there for a bit in his own bodily fluids before he got up to clean himself and get changed, replacing the sheets with cleaner ones.

“Colonel, are you there?”

Your soft voice came to his ears, making him stop in his tracks. Was he delusional to the point that he’s imagining your voice? He’s losing it. He’s definitely losing it because no way in hell did you sought him out at—he glances at his clock and sees that it’s 24:58 on a Wednesday—this late in the night. König ignores the voice, opting to throw himself back into the bed, cuddling his pillows and imagining that it’s you.

“Colonel?” Your voice echoes, followed by a soft knock. “Sir? This is very important, I’m sorry.”

Oh. Oh. No, he’s not actually hearing things. You’re actually outside his door. König wore his mask, covering his ugliness because he didn’t want to scare a pretty little thing like you. It would be too soon for you to see his face. It’d be like putting a frog straight in boiling water instead of heating it up little by little.

He rushed to fix the cloth over his head, zipping and buttoning his pants. König almost tore the bolts of his door just to immediately see you, and when he swung the door open—almost ripping it off the hinges—he saw you standing there with several dossiers in your arms. Your pretty doe-like eyes, the ones he fantasized about as he came literally just seconds ago, looks up at him with a sheepish gaze. You smile apologetically up at him, neck craning to properly look at him. He sees the way your eyes glanced at his shirtless torso before flickering up to look at him.

Were you attracted to him the same way he is to you?

Did your cunt also drip at the thought of him, the same way his cock throbs at the mere thought of you? Did you also touch yourself when you were alone the past two days after you two spoke to one another? Did you also call out his name? Whimpering and panting as you flicked your clit and plunged your tiny fingers in your weeping pussy–

“Sorry to disturb you so late at night, I was ordered to give you these documents. Horangi said that I deliver these to you because it needs your immediate approval, sir.”

You say to him, spouting out your reasons and he can see that you’re doing so in hopes of not angering him because you think you’ve disturbed his sleep. How adorable. König keeps a note to himself to tell Horangi not to let you out this late at night; he doesn’t want you being suspected as the killer. Your cheeks are slightly red, and König finds red pretty on your face. So much so that he wants to just grab your squishy cheeks and pepper it with kisses. Maybe nibble on it affectionately.

“It’s alright. No worries. Come in, Schatz.”

He moves aside, letting you in. And, oh boy, you eagerly entered his chambers as you rushed to the desk in his room. You bend over to place the heavy papers on his table, and he has half a mind to bend you over the desk, tear off your clothes, and fuck you stupid until all you can do is mewl and whine on his cock. The fact that he was imagining you on your knees, choking on his cock or pumping it with your hands while you whispered sweet nothing to him five minutes ago didn’t help the colonel either.

“I’m really sorry. I know you’re probably sleeping–”

“I said it is fine, liebling. No need to lose your head over nothing, ja?”

He finds it endearing that he calms you, that his words weigh that much for you. Usually, he’s used to barking orders, establishing things with force. And yet, when he speaks to you softly, reassuring you, that it’s alright if you waltz into his room—into his heart, even—and take whatever you wanted is a nice change of pace. He’d give more to you on your way out, because he loves you. He wants to marry you. He wants to take you back with him to Austria. You’re beautiful in gear, but König knows you’d be more beautiful in maternity dresses.

But he is sane about you. Completely sane about you. Totally normal. Absolutely nothing wrong with his state of mind regarding you. Everyone loves strongly, ja?

“It’s late at night, and I don’t want you to end up as a corpse in the halls, liebling. Let me escort you to your quarters, ja?” He says softly, walking up to you as he effortlessly moves the paperwork that were practically heavy for you. “It would ease me to sleep, knowing you’re safe and sound in your bed.” König pats your head.

“I… um… are you sure, sir?” You look at him, confused as you tilt your head in confusion. “You must be tired for the day, and I’ve already taken up much of your time.”

He ignored your words of worry as he grabbed his hoodie and wore it, finally giving you an ounce of mercy because as much as he loves the way your eyes are drawn to his torso, he also doesn’t want to give you cardiac arrest just because he was being too much for you.

Now that you’re here in his room, alone with the colonel, your heart hums nervously. You pray that no soldier would see you walk out of his room at this hour. Because you don’t want to burden him with silly rumors when he’s drowning in paperwork, focusing on an investigation, and you don't want to add up to his plate.

“I want to protect you from harm, Schatz. With me around, I doubt the beast would hurt you.”

Lies. No, wait. It’s not all lies, so basically just half-truths. With König around, the thing that lurks in the halls of KorTac would never hurt you, if anything it would worship the ground you walk on. Ask him to give you a town for your dowry, and he would enslave every continent on Earth and lay it by your feet—because the thing in the dark is him, and he loves you, and he wants to give you the world.

“Okay. I mean… if that’s okay with you, sir.”

“König.”

“What?”

“Please, mein liebe. I would appreciate it if we drop the formalities. We are comrades, ja?”

“Alright… as I was saying, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you, König.”

“You’re not a burden. Not to me… not if it’s you, mein liebling.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion with the way he addressed you. It sounds like German, and the way he pronounces it makes you feel important. You don’t know German, and you kick yourself mentally because you wish you knew what he was calling you. For all you know, he’s calling you stupid affectionately. Because it took you weeks before you realize Izzy was calling you ‘stupid’ in the most affectionate way possible, so who’s to say the colonel is any different?

Before you can ask him what the words mean, he walks past you, opening the door for you. You walk out his room, thankful that no one’s there to see the two of you together.

You two walk down the halls, side by side. And poor little you.t you’re practically walking alongside the devil. The halls are empty, devoid of any soul. The trip to your room was quiet, no one is around, obviously. Soldiers were already asleep, and those who didn’t need to follow the curfew were chilling in their room or buried in neck-deep paperwork in their offices.

König wished he wasn’t the monster right now. He wished it was someone else, because he wants an opportunity for him to be a hero. To be a protector. To put up all of his pent-up aggression on someone else while you praise him for his strength and bravery. Maybe shower him with loving kisses, even. He wants something to try and kill him, just so he can show you that he can protect you from anything and anyone who would want to kill you, but then you stop in front of your room, making you turn and smile at him.

He loved your smile, the way your skin stretched and your adorable features twist just to give him a kind gesture

“Well. This is my stop.” You offer him a warm smile, unaware that it’s a currency that König could never afford yet you willingly give it to him for free. “Thank you… for looking out for me, König.”

“You’re a valuable soldier. It would be a shame if the thing lurking the base comes and kills you, Shatz—I want you safe.” He smiles at you beneath the mask, and the way his eyes crinkle is adorable and you know he’s smiling when they do that. “For as long as I’m able to, I’ll protect you, okay?”

His fingers gently held your chin, afraid that he’d break you at the slightest pressure. Your heart thumps in your chest. How could Roze or Izzy ever tell you to avoid him? He was practically a sweetheart. The colonel wanted you safe more than anything, isn’t that enough to warrant an inch of friendship from you?

Your eyes met his, those eyes that remind you of a storm at sea, are filled with nothing but warmth. It makes your breath hitch with how… oddly intimate it feels. You’re sure that if you weren’t a soldier, if the two of you met outside the forces, as civilians, without the medals and badges, you’re sure that he would’ve kissed you right then and there. It felt like your heart was about to explode – it’s too overwhelming.

So, you forced yourself to look away, stepping back and away from his grasps—from his touch. The absence of his touch makes your head clear without realizing it felt hazy in the first place. Such a strange effect that the colonel has on you.

König is displeased that you’ve put more distance between you two, but he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t want to make you worry, despite the adorable look on your face whenever you do look troubled. So, König opts to pat you on the head briefly.

“Sleep tight, Schatz. Don’t forget to lock your door, ja?”

“Alright, co–König. Good night.”

As you shut your doors, the monster outside stood there for a few more minutes before it walked away.

“Did something good happen today, colonel?”

“None of your concern, major.”

Horangi was as sharp as ever, deep voice rumbling in his chest which intimidated most people around him. He was also the only one in the ranks to be able to speak casually with his superior – even though all of KorTac members usually avoid the giant soldier since they don’t really want to risk being discharged because they can’t function properly anymore. Horangi was the closest thing König has to a friend – which is kind of sad since a former gambling addict was the only one who can tolerate his shit and can understand him, even with his hood permanently on.

But Horangi was right.

Something good did happened.

You happened.

“That new lieutenant.” König starts. “If you’re sending her out to deliver files, tell me so I can escort the klein hase to her destination,” the colonel orders him, “I do not wish for her to be hurt.”

He spent the night awake, drinking and shredding it in the gym, trying so hard to put your adorable face out of his mind. You were out of sight alright, he hasn’t seen you running around base for the day because he’s too busy cooped up in his office and signing off the papers that you’ve given him hours ago, but the way your facial features would get distorted into something more adorable every single time he closed his eyes was highly concerning.

And he calms himself down in those wee hours the same way he did moments before you knocked on his door—jerking himself off until he felt nothing but self-hatred and the yearning of having your soft body pressed up against his.

“She’s a lieutenant, König.” Horangi snort. “You know I don’t recruit the weak.”

“She’s a woman,” König responds, “I’m not saying she’s weak, but most soldiers in base are men… I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.”

“She can handle herself.”

“And what of the monster on the loose?”

“Why? Do you plan on eating her next?”

“… Perhaps.”

König thinks for a moment. It should be easier if he would have an official legal reason to keep you by his side. Have your desk literally in his office so he can always keep his eyes on you, make sure no one lays a finger on you. König chucks his delirious thoughts to the lack of sleep, his fingers held down the paper while he wrote with his pen, but he wished he was holding you down and fucking into your wet cunt instead. He had those things before – overthinking about the tiniest details in someone he never truly knew, but understood that he can’t be with them—it could be his childhood crushes that he could never had thanks to his hideous appearance… and anxiety. It could be fantasizing about a pretty woman that caught his attention one day—imagining a life with them, multiple kids, and maybe a dog or two. König is aware that he has a problem , but not like… this; never dangerous.

The problem was that he knows he can have you.

Perhaps not in a traditional way. No. He can’t court you, that’s against the rules, and König wished nothing more that you were a civilian instead of a soldier. Because of your badge, he couldn’t be with you. He has half a mind to snatch you away and leave you as his perfect little bedmate because he knows you would never marry a monster like him, so abducting you was… reasonable. He can shower you with gifts in your captivity, decorating you with all the gold and jewel in the world while he’s fucking his child into you. He can have his men kidnap you, and yes, it is inhumane but you would be happy with him as his wife than a woman playing as a lieutenant. He would soothe your worries, fuck you every single hour with no rest until his cock rearranges your insides and impregnate you until he can convince you that he was the perfect mate for you, and then boom – happily ever after.

He knows that he can have you.

And it drives him crazy because he has never felt a strong urge to want  something so bad in his life. At this point, it’s not even a want. It’s a need. It’s hilarious how the two of you barely knew each other, but König was head over heels for you. He wants you by his side, whether you’re willing or not.

“Have you eaten?” Horangi asked.

“Not yet.” König answered.

That’s how he found himself sitting down at the mess hall, eating this food that was barely stimulating his senses. Horangi didn’t join him, said he had to attend a meeting with his soldiers since a complaint was given to him. It was good, actually. There was rice, three hamburger steak, gravy and mashed potatoes. They gave him a bigger serving simply because he was a giant man, it only made sense to give him enough sustenance to function. The food was delicious, but König didn’t really pay attention much to it.

Now that he has had a taste of you—you giving him kind words and smiling at him—König couldn’t get enough. You were like a drug. He want to pin you down, ravage you in bed, feel your walls clamp and spasm around his cock over and over again while you’re reduced to nothing but mewls with a cum-drunk expression the same way a drug addict heats heroin over a spoon before injecting it into their systems.

He needs you under him, panting and blushing, lips puffy from kisses, skin glazed with sweat and marked with his lips and teeth.

He needs you under him, creaming on his cock while he stretches out your cunt deliciously – taking him to the hilt like a good girl, cock forming a bulge on your abdomen. Juices dripping on to the sheets while he suckles on your nipple, his other hand groping your other tit.

He needs you under him–

“Colonel?”

König’s eyes snapped up and locked on to yours, and the concern scribbled on to them has his heart swooning over you once more. Your brows are turned upward with worry and you standing in front of the table he was sitting at, calling out to him has him wanting to put you on his lap and nuzzle against the crook of your neck. He smiles underneath the mask, seeing you again, blessing his eyes with your beauty.

“Ah, liebling. What brings you my way?”

“Roze is on a mission and Izzy is currently in a meeting, and every seat is taken. So, I was wondering if I can sit with you.”

“Of course, mein liebe. Your company is always welcome.”

You can sit on his lap.

You can sit on his face, ride him while he eats you out. Tongue lapping at your sweet juices as you cum on his face. God, he wants to spoil you. Cover you with kisses and embrace you because he loves you.

To König, you’re adorable when you eat. Your cheeks puffing a little like a chipmunk as you chew your food, before gulping some of your water. There’s a bit of mashed potato smeared by the side of your lips, and you don’t seem to notice. Before he can stop himself, his fingers had made contact with your skin, wiping away the stain. He sees you visibly froze, eyes widening so adorably.

“You had mashed potato on your face.” König chuckled, wiping the food off of his gloves with a tissue.

“O-oh…” You stutter, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry. I was hungry… I missed breakfast.”

Your cheeks turned red, flustered at his gentle gesture, and König eats that shit up. His mind keeping the moment in his head. His desires spilling over it like ink; tainting a shared innocent memory between you two. He stares at you for a solid minute, engraining your features into his memory—as if he hasn’t memorized your face at this point—and smiles softly beneath the mask. There are scars all over his body, including his face, and the tentacles on his face struggles not to reach out to you and feel your skin against it.

He wants you to know that he would do anything for you. How he’s willing to lay down his life for you. How he’s willing to protect you from anything because you’re all he ever wanted in his whole life. You would appreciate a man with scars, right? After all, it’s a sign of bravery.

König took part in many battles, too many to count with his tentacles and fingers and toes combined; spent his youth training to be the best killer possible. He took part in many conflicts and killed hundreds, maybe thousands even,  while feeling nothing but recoil. He isn’t afraid of anything – maybe, except for talking to people sometimes. It’s not like he’s terrified of them, but rather afraid of making a fool of himself. König always hated talking to people, but being colonel meant he had to communicate to soldiers under his command and his superiors.

He isn’t afraid of anything. But… he is afraid of you finally seeing underneath the mask and thinking that you, in fact, find him revolting to look at.

The colonel takes one look good at you, and figures that maybe it’s worth the internal turmoil if it meant that he would have you by his side. He would agree to get as many ranks as possible if that meant he could provide for you and have you quit your job as a soldier. If that would allow him to come home to every day and night instead of sleeping alone in his room.

“I suppose you enjoy your breakfast, liebling?” König chuckled, and your face just goes even more red.

“It’s delicious,” You answered, smiling sheepishly.

He loves it when you smile. Obsessed with it—the way your eyes twinkle with delight whenever you cast your gaze at him without a hint of disgust.

“Would you like to get coffee someday?” König offered. “I know a café that has really good coffee or if you prefer non-caffeinated drinks, they also have milkshakes and their desserts are pretty good.”

 And you with those pretty doe-eyes of yours say, “Sure! Set the time and date, colonel.”

Other soldiers are looking. They’re glancing at you and him, but you don’t seem to notice the stares or the fact that it had gone slightly quiet. He is a creep, weirdo and all the words in a song that he’s been blasting in his tiny headphones these past few days because he can smell the sweetness of your perfume and the way you are smiling at him with such unbridled admiration was driving him mad.

“How about this Thursday, ja?” König inquired, wanting to hear your opinion on the matter.

You think for a moment, brows furrowed and König finds it really endearing. Izzy said she’d take you to a café but she wasn’t really sure yet since she says it might be the day Horangi and her go on missions. Roze wouldn’t be back until Sunday, and you’re left alone with nothing on base.

Well… there is König.

“Sure! I’m free this Thursday.” You say to the colonel, brimming with excitement at your newfound friendship.

The monster is pleased. It seems you’ve checked out all the boxes he’s looking for in a mate.

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P.S. Idk how to tag or if I did it right^^

[chaifootsteps]

Sorry this is gonna be long. Vivziepop doesn't understand the gravity of sin and hence cannot comprehend the idea of redemption.

It's so obvious Viv has had some bad experiences with the Christian church, but she is also totally unwilling to research the philosophy behind the religion. There are reasons we believe what we believe, and reasons why what we believe gets twisted and used to hurt people, and even reasons why our beliefs in their truest and purest form can STILL hurt people. But regardless of their effects, whether good or bad, there are REASONS those beliefs exist, reasons backed up by literal millennial of theology and historical/academic study.

The idea that her characters don't even understand HOW someone gets into heaven just proves she gave no thought to the other side of the argument. The premise of Hazbin Hotel is that people can change and deserve a chance to be redeemed, but she fails to illustrate any actual change or redemption.

Redemption is predicated on the recognition of what you've done wrong and the desire to do better. It is an internal battle of constant self-examination and dedication to improve. The people that make up her main cast are sinful. Whether or not their sins mean they deserved hell is up to interpretation. I'm not asking her to follow the Catechism of the Catholic church. But if these people are to be redeemed, they have to acknowledge themselves as full of fault.

Husk was a gambler. A gambling addiction is not a fun or quirky hobby. It, like any addiction, is a complete loss of control and subservience to a vice that destroys your life and relationships with other people. Alastor was a cannibal and serial killer, who took the lives of fellow humans and desecrated their remains for his own pleasures, showing a complete lack of respect for the sanctity of life. Angel Dust hurts himself over and over and over again through his addiction to pleasure and narcotics. Sometimes sin doesn't hurt other people as much as it hurts us, but it's still a sin because we are supposed to treat our bodies as temples. These are all massive flaws of the characters, sins that have overtaken their personalities and lives, and yes, they may be interesting and fun and entertaining, but that doesn't change the fact they did bad things.

Vivziepop can't redeem anyone, because she fails to set a standard of righteousness. Sin is just a mutation of virtue. It's taking prudence and turning it into greed. It's taking humility and turning it into self-flagellation. It's taking love and turning it into lust. Because of her, I'm sure, completely valid religious trauma, she fails to recognize the humanity of the people that hurt her. That they too are just people who struggle with their own sin and vice. She can't comprehend or give the benefit of the doubt that religious people have valid explanations for their beliefs.

She seems to think of heaven as just a place of stuck-up hypocrites who don't know how to have fun. She seems to think the rules and regulations of religion are just arbitrary rules someone made up for a power grab and not a detailed and dedicated attempt of humanity to understand God and his desires.

Viv's understanding of redemption is likeability. It's illustrated in Angel's scenes in episode six. Yes, Angel is being nice and kind and caring about people, but his problems were never a lack of caring about people. His problems were using substances to deal with his problems, and yes he did deny the drugs Cherry offered him, but there was no moment of reflection as to why he no longer wanted to take them. It seems more like he wants to make Husk happy with him than he actually wants to form better coping mechanisms or even a recognition that he doesn't need the drugs to numb the pain anymore now that he has a support system.

She seems to think that if a sinner is likeable, they don't deserve eternal damnation. That's why she woobifies every character she grows to like, because being a good person and sin cannot co-exist in her mind. People who are likeable cannot be bad people and thus a system that would put a likeable person in hell is rigged and stupid. But that fails to comprehend the multi-faceted of humanity and sin.

Sometimes people you love, people who are good to you, are bad people to others. Child molesters can be good friends. Rapisits can advocate for animal rights. Murderers can be good parents. A person who abused you could be someone else's best friend, and a genuinely good friend at that. A failure to recognize the complexity of virtue and vice is a failure to understand what redemption means.

She can critique the idea of perfection. She can critique the hypocrisies of the church. She can critique the tenets of religion. She can even say the things I believe in are unfair and nonsensical and evil. But she cannot make a good critique without understanding the other side of the argument. Because without that, she herself has no counter argument!

The plot of Hazbin is no longer that people can be redeemed, but that redemption is not necessary, because the rules that government heaven and hell make no sense. And that's a COMPLETELY different argument to be making.

I apologize for the length. I hope I've made some semblance of sense.

No, no apologies for the length. It was an interesting read!

Some would argue that all religions are nothing but arbitrary rules someone made up for a power grab, but it's true, there's at least supposed to be some kind of rhyme and reason to it all. In theory at least, it's supposed to improve yours and everyone else's quality of life, but that goes against Viv's theory that the only thing that matters is doing whatever you want all the time. Viv doesn't have to side with Heaven or go full blown scripture, but you can't tell me that Heaven doesn't even know what it takes for someone to get in.

Thanks for your thoughts!

[midnight1nk]

This week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

HELL YEAH another Three and Four episode!!! Time for my live reaction:

woah we're starting out here? i seriously did not expect that. sleepy little guys :)

also don't think i didn't spot Four's cowboy hat in the corner there (yes, i know it was shown in other episodes too)

Four, why are you busting into Three's room like that? Four?

guys, I think the "dating behind the scenes" might be true

Wait, hold up he did the same pose as Three's statue

I know this whole back-and-forth about the statue being Three or Four. Personally, I think it's Three, just the textures (his beard) didn't apply, but the fact that Four did this pose for a split second... c'mon...

"are you ready to make magic?" "what am i doing in your bed?" [*presses the pause button*] ...am I in the right episode? ...Four you can't say these things... c'mon dude...

lawyer meggy hi!!!!! :D can we bring her back please?

just the way that Three looks at Four's hand when Four held his shoulder is driving me insane

"the rosemary to my bread" that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard... (well aside from "hey dud listen to me" speech from IGBP and "the sight of that man shines brilliantly in my eyes" line from AA)

and indeed you can make bread with rosemary

alright everyone, time to make some rosemary garlic bread

well from the last episode, Four did have a theory on Mario being jesus/god so.....

Three: "me? :O" sorry I just love the delivery on that, also the flushed emoji image on his face. i can somehow see Three's face underneath it idk how to describe it...

Actually uh Four, why are you so eager to do a romantic episode, huh? And also imagining Three, huh? Four, you did confirm that Three has rizz from the elevator episode. You can't deny it dude, you love him.

THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

bro Four really is a hopeless romantic my god he's just like me fr fr

i swear they drive me insane. like you can argue that it's just luke and james having fun but i do like the idea that Four is the only other person besides Eggdog who can make Three laugh and smile. And Three being the one who can make Four laugh ever so much as memes can. it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside :)

they're in love, your honor 💙💜

I too just fade into a room when i am needed

LET FOUR RIDE THE TEACUP RIDE

AYYYYY GAY LAWYER DADS GAME GO BRRRRRRR

we need to get my boyfriend back (yes Four totally said this)

NO THREE DON'T DROP THE SOAP

oh hi Chris and Swag!!

"And they drive off." [*the meme machine just flies straight up*]

Three: "Man.. I think... he was my dad. :("

Four [*remembers that they came out of the USBs*]: "...ok."

Nah Four, let him COOK

Four: "we're never doing this again" CAP

Congrats windr31 for being at the end credits!

👏

It's crazy that literally every SMG34 artist drew this scene, I mean how could they not. btw every one of them is so good!

Man, I really loved this episode, just some silly chaotic fun with a side of SMG34 crumbs!!

I know the SMG4 and SMG3 episodes aren't associated with the plot or anything but it's really nice to see Three keeping his promise from IGBP:

Three: "We can make another."

And they did, multiple in fact.

It's really sweet how much their relationship changed over time and I think it might come into play somehow in WOTFI. Until next time, my dear fellows, take care!

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (9) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n reunions galore!

masterlist | last part | part 9 | next part

INSTAGRAM

chrisyamada

liked by eb_jonno and 482,492 others

chrisyamada was on stage w/ the aussies again 🎸 tagged: emptybottles_official

lukaszhang don't come for my job man ↳ chrisyamada @lukaszhang i can't handle lina for extended periods of time dw about your job security

ceciliapham THEY DID THIS FOR ME AND ME ONLY 😭😭😭

piastri_lina now if i didn't know any better, i'd think this was a soft-launch... ↳ piastri_lina @piastri_lina know ur place christopher yamada

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 213,284 others

oscarpiastri Race week recharge 🔋

pi4str1 convinced that if oscar was to open an oscar.jpg account it would just be all lina

selinabui ur so hot do u have a gf ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui yeah sorry 🫤

piastri_lina boyfie looking boyfie, wifey looking wifey, what is a girl to do 😭😭😭

logansargeant ask her if we can talk again ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant U TOOK ME SERIOUSLY??? IS THIS WHY I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM U???

TWITTER

↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h wait i asked a lina question OH MY GOD PLS PLS PLS CHOOSE THE LINA QUESTION ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 2h Find out when the episode drops 😉 ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 1h OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE ↳ Williams Racing @ WilliamsRacing · 1h Don't die just yet

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Shenzhen, China

liked by oscarpiastri and 264,938 others

selinabui my own kinda home race? tagged: eb_jonno

eb_jonno *OUR* home town performance ↳ selinabui @eb_jonno my bad bro why did u think i tagged u

oscarpiastri How do you still suck at bowling? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri wdym i won ↳ cameliazzz @ selinabui no you didn't???

pi4str1 same top as the one in oscar's post? ↳ marie_h.sb @pi4str1 pls they think they're so subtle 😭

linasgirl4 SINCE WHEN SELINA. SINCE WHENNNNN ↳ linasgirl4 @linasgirl4 i'm going fucking feral i need to know how long they've been together for my mental health ↳ emptybottlos @linasgirl4 calm the fuck down it's not that serious

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 1d dude are u kidding me? ↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 4h she still got that :] energy 🥹

camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAW JONATHAN SU AND SELINA BUI LIVE IN THE FLESH AT THE SHENZHEN FENDI POP-UP ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 21h i'm not alive i have ascended to a higher plane

president linami @ linaminami · 16h try not to say mother challenge failed. she looks so good wtf

INSTAGRAM

emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 332,974 others

emptybottlesbar Jonny and Lina at the Shenzhen FENDI pop-up store. Did you manage to catch them? tagged: emptybottles_official, selinabui and eb_jonno

selinabui wtf are we pokemon or smth??

eb_jonno was i not photogenic enough, i'll work on it ↳ emptybottlesbar @eb_jonno You were very handsome 💚 ↳ eb_jonno @emptybottlesbar well that's a very nice way of saying i look bad in photos

2cami4lina I DID CATCH THEM AND IT WAS SPECTACULAR

TWITTER

lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h oh ttpd, oh how 2021 lina coded it you are ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 1h i need a lina x i can do it with a broken heart edit STAT

emme @flowersforcami · 42m oomf said i can fix him (no really i can) is super lina in her tommy era coded and i can't unhear it now

↳ kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 1h @urdaisea baby girl this is for you 😭 ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 44m HOW ARE THEY SO QUICK OH MY GOD IT'S HEARTBREAKING

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m it's only been like a day since it dropped but i've already been blessed with a so high school oscalina edit the lord is good 🙏 ↳ jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 30m i wanna be on ur fyp bc i've gotten two 'you look like taylor swift' edits of olivia and lina and it's been depressing

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h lina's stories perfectly encapsulates my april 19 experience, she's the chairman of the swiftie f1 girlie department ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h side note she used one of those oscar gifs from f2 and it's so endearing

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

trans: brother yu (she uses the fish 'yu' and not zhou guanyu's actual 'yu', again, it's a pun) is awesome!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf

[whyse7vn]

LEAKED -

[ ot7 x reader ]

EXO 💜

8 participants - 7 online

———————————

jimin: namjoon is having an episode rn

y/n: is it a beach one?

namjoon: THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS I SMOKE CRACK??:)::£:££;,&&

jin: don’t think it’s a beach one

jk: i think we’re gonna go to jail :/

yoongi: how tf did the gc even get leaked?

hobi: it was god punishing us for our sins

yoongi: what

hobi: smoked some weed and god told me himself no joke

y/n: when are you not high at this point…

jimin: did you leak it hobi?

hobi: i’ll leak ur nudes

jimin: you don’t have my nudes

hobi: that’s what you think

jimin: ??

hobi: whattttttttt

namjoon: DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS???!?!:!!:

y/n: /super srs

hobi: super shy

jin: i don’t like the way he’s shouting at us

jk: wow guys did you know that namjoon smokes crack wow i never knew that joon you smoke crack??? that’s a bit crazy 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

namjoon: SHUT THE FUCK UP

jimin: yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!

jk kicked tae out of “EXO💜”

namjoon: ?????????????????

jk: he just called me said he has a new number

and to kick the old one idk

don’t shout at me again pls i’m sensitive

i know ur on crack pls don’t do anything crazy to me

i’m sorry

jk added (+82) 2 ******** to “EXO💜”

(+82) 2 ********: hey guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(+82) 2 ******** changed their nickname to “tae”

yoongi: telling you now it’s 110% his fault

jin: so why did u change ur number?

tae: funny story actually!

hobi: dear heavenly father

jimin: watch this story not be funny at all

tae: long story short it was leaked

jk: LOL 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣🤣

ur right was a funny story

jin: shut up jungkook

jimin: ….

y/n: ok how was it leaked tho?

tae: so don’t be mad at me

but i was maybe at a party last night

and then i was talking to this girl (i only have eyes for u promise)

and i was SOOO sure that i knew her

so when she asked if she could use my phone to check the train times i was like ofc what the heck i’m a nice guy!

but she was like taking 7 years to find the train times she was looking for

and when i say she was taking ages she was taking AGESSS

and ofc i was at a party so i was in fact a little drunk

so naturally i needed to pee

and i was NOT about to hold it

when i need to go i need to go

so i left her with my phone to go pee

yoongi: ….

tae: and when i came back

guess what

jk: she turned into an ant???

tae: close but no

i couldn’t find her

jimin: how was that close??

tae: i was all like where did she go???

jk: maybe she needed to pee too

tae: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

so i like stood there for 20 mins

and then i realised it doesn’t take girls THAT long to pee

like y/n pees in 2 seconds no joke

y/n: ?/?/!£:£,£&,&

WHY ARE YOU TIMING HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO PEE?????

jimin: maybe she was shitting

yoongi: why are we talking about girls going to the toilet….

tae: I ALSO THOUGHT THAT TOO

then i was like that’s stupid girls don’t do that 😭

jk: yeah ur silly 😭😭

y/n: ???

hobi: hallelujah amen

tae: so then i started looking around for her

and then i asked hyungsik (was his party)

where ella was (that was the girls name so i thought)

jimin: white ass name

tae: AND THEN HE WAS LIKE

ella??? who is ella???

and i was like the girl who made that really good cake that one time??? with the long brown hair???

and he was like?????

and i was like????

then he was like don’t you mean d?

now i’m confused as fuck like who tf is d??

then he said the guy with the long brown hair who made us that really good cake that one time

so i was like whose ella then???

and he was like idk???

and i kid you not as soon as i started walking away from hyungsik and i saw the ella girl

with MY phone in her hands might i add

so i was like HEY WHO ARE YOU??

then she literally dropped my phone on the cold hard floor and ran away

the end

jk: wow that story was really emotional loved every second of it ❤️

tae: thank you people often tell me i have a way with words

jimin: so this ella girl leaked it then?

tae: i think so it only makes sense

namjoon: SO UR THE REASON THE GC WAS LEAKED??????????????

yoongi: told you

tae: no???

ella was the reason MY number was leaked that’s it

jk: i though her name wasn’t ella

tae: no ur right

*“ella”

y/n: how long did she have ur phone for?

tae: like 2 hours idk

namjoon: 2 HOURS WITH UR PHONE UNSUPERVISED?/):£:£:£,£,&,&

tae: ok she had my phone for like an hour 15 unsupervised

i was there for the first 45

namjoon: ARE YOU STUPID!/

tae: no my iq like 1500

yoongi: -1500

jimin: x 10

tae: why does namjoon keep shouting is he like getting shot at as we speak or something

hobi: oh gracious lord do you hear me?

jimin: tae go on twitter

tae: why

did yoongi unblock me omg? 🥺

yoongi: no.

jimin: just go look

hobi: save our souls oh mighty lord

tae: NO WAY JOONS A CRACK ADDICT LOLLLLLL

makes sense tho!

how they find that out??

did you crack out in public or something?

you sniff crack or swallow?

sorry im not used to these type of drugs you gotta let me know how u consume

i’m new to this not true to this >.<

waITTT THIS IS SO G-DRAGON CORE

wasn’t he coked out at the airport the other day?

oh wait are coke and crack different??

i’m sorry i didn’t mean to offend u joon

crack users rise up 🙏🏼⬆️ (namjoon)

namjoon: STOP SPEAKING

jimin: scroll down on the dispatch page

tae: omg is there a video of him or something??

y/n: even better!

tae: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

/£:££:£;&;&&:&&;&;&;&;&:&;&/@/&:&,&,£:£

WHY WOULD DIAPSTXHX

OHMY)@/‘d/££:£:&..

OUR GC WAS LEAKED????/):)/££::&&:,&&;&;&:££:£:£;£:&;&:&:&:&:&;&;

WHY WOULD THEY SAY JENNIE WAS MY GF?/£:££:&;&,&;&;&;

yoongi: that’s the part that bothers you?

tae: I HAVE NO RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN

y/n look me in the eyes

jk: ur homophobia ones?

tae: what?

jk: hobi said

hobi: homophobia

y/n: heterochromia?

jin: hippopotamus

hobi: IF YOU SEE ME AND YOU TRYNA SEE WHATS UP

SKEEYEEE

yoongi: wow

hobi: yoongi god hates us

yoongi: get a grip

namjoon: THERE IS NO GRIP TO BE GOTTEN DONT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS LITERALLY COULD BE THE END OF US

LIKE BTS

US

OUR CAREERS

jimin: dramatic lol

im sure people will still fuck with us even tho they know you guys kiss each other on the mouth pop percs and are a little racist

i mean look at nct!

and

like

….

bigbang!!!!

bigbang still have fans right?

i’m pretty sure!!!

y/n: ?????????????????????????????

jk: racist

who?????

NOT ME

i hope

i thought jimin was sexist and fatphobic not racist oh my god 😥😥😥😰😰

it keeps getting worse

jin: idk what joons talking about actually this could be the end of HIS career

not mine

see ME personally i’ve done nothing wrong

this is like the start of my career actually

the end is nowhere is sight for kim seokjin

jimin: 12 year olds on twitter are dragging you for hating newjeans

jin: what

jk: wait yoongi broke woozi’s nose???

yoongi: no

y/n: HE DID

hobi: this is the end

jin: did woozi fight back????

personally i think woozi is a good fighter

i’ve said this before small men carry the biggest rage!!!!!

yoongi: idk a woozi

y/n: shut up

yoongi: kisses :3

namjoon: CAN YOU GUYS BE SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN UR LIFE

jimin:

tae: LAMOSODOD WHY DID THEY PUT HOLLY BEHIND BARS

yoongi: HUH??????????

namjoon: oh my god i’m gonna shoot you all

hobi: see it starts with holly behind bars then it’s us next

jk: no 😰

hobi: everyone say sorry god

jk: i’m sorry god please forgive me and my friends

yoongi: why did they actually put my dog

behind bars

what the actual fuck did my dog do

??????

who makes these things

why is my dog behind bars

jk: do you think i can survive jail…

tae: ofc i’ll fuck for you!

*fight for you

jimin: wtf????????

tae: i was thinking about y/n sorry

jk: you mean it 🥺

tae: is cheese on the floor?

y/n: what does that even mean

jk: yes 😭

hobi: i see the light

god is that you???

namjoon: ur pissing me off stop speaking

jimin:

jk: i’m sorry namjoon 🥺

namjoon: is that sarcasm?

jk: who?

namjoon: all of you can kill yourselves

namjoon left “exo💜”

jin: ok but i didn’t even do anything

tae: so like…. is this fr my fault?

yoongi: yes ❤️

—

part one HERE

sorry LMAO this is ass whyse7vn funny comeback soon i pray >:(

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @junghoseokshusband

[theeio]

If u have the time could you pls give us ur jim analysis based on this post im very interested in hearing it

headsup for some heavy mental health talk:

so my interpretation of jim, and the reason why i drew him the angsty way i did was because i looked at his character in ToA from like, a mental illness metaphor perspective. i dont think(?) it was ever the showrunner’s intention to do that, but its just a personal way i viewed it bc i saw and felt a lot of his struggles between the lines of the series.

like in episode 6: Win Lose or Draal- where Jim thinks hes going to get killed in battle, writes letters to his loved ones, cooks a last meal for his mom, felt and acted like was the last day he was going to live. Claire interpreting his letter to her that he was talking about having “internal monsters” and “being in some kind of trouble” didnt help much as well AHAH

jim hiding so much from his mom, that one shot in season 1 episode 12 or 13 where he hides the damage on his arms from the goblins behind his back-AHHHHH

and dont get me started on the bathtub scene in A House Divided like idk what the showrunners were thinking doing that but okay i guess😭 that one made me sob on the floor like TWICE

and Jimhunters-god that really felt like your life being altered, and seeing everything in a much darker lens when going through depression. the first time i watched it and when Jim ran to the school rooftop i was legitimately horrified and scared out of my MIND but thank god they didn’t go much beyond that. STILL. thanks for the heart attack 😭😭😭

so back to the tags on that post:

i never liked a hero w a thousand faces because of how chaotic and exaggerated everything was but i guess its because it was different parts of jim split and personified.

but i guess it just messed me up seeing that episode again and having Hunter Jim, the highest functioning one out of them all being the one hunting HIMSELF DOWN, one by one. it really felt like a lot of self loathing going on, and he literally was looking to “kill” other parts of himself, and then the Real Jim as a whole. sorry that was jumbled up and a lot but it was what made me go like

thats kinda the gist of how i saw some moments of Jim’s character back then, and i guess it explains why so much of my art leans towards angst and that hurt comfort, because of all those interpretations i had going on in my head. it was rough a couple years back and this series helped me to reflect and process a lot of what happened and the feelings i had, through Jim. it was a like a safe little sandbox i could toss around in and it genuinely helped so much in healing :”D!! so yeah its more of a personal take, but hope this answers ur question?

ty for sending this ask!! hope you’re well💖💖💖

[lady-margaret]

bridgerton season 3 episode 4 screaming thoughts (unedited)

AW DEBLING THAT WAS SO CUTE 😭 colin step it up jeez

lol she likes that window cuz she can see the bridgerton house from there

oh ben is back at it again

CUTIE POMERANIAN

me and the queen thinking same thoughts cuz?????? how the hell brimsley reading all that from back there

i just know the queen is gonna hate the bridgertons when franny doesnt pick the marquis

HYACINTH 🤣🤣🤣

JOHN FCKING STIRLING JOHN STIRLING IS IN THE HOUSE YALL ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

VIOLET IS SO FUNNY WITH HER LOOKS LIKE SHE CAN JUST TELL RIGHT AWAY

wait theyre so funny 😭😭😭😭 not them literally sitting in silence

alice is gorgeous i cant wrap my head around their family storyline when shes onscreen

OMG IS THIS WHERE THEY’LL PLAY JEALOUS

eloise 😭 read the room 😭

o god colin

oh :((((((((((( oh lol nvm :>>>>>> theyre in agreement

hes so cute 🥹🥹🥹

hElp why am i rooting for debling COLIN DO BETTER !!!!!!! DAMN U COLIN what is it with him and 3somes

franny is so cute 🥹🥹🥹

pausing the ep to say that the visitor for cressida is def eloise

yep i was right

boys rly are boys at any period of time *sigh*

colin get out of there buddy … is he gonna wank it out

look okay portia does have a point but but but 🥺 love

did kate and anthony seriously go on an extended honeymoon 🙃 shes gonna be pregnant when they get back

violet knows what she’s doing and i love her for that

its the hairstyle of the queen the went viral

oh alice ur so beautiful

idk about this violet storyline 🥺 between me and her i feel like im the one who’s not over edmund 😭😭

i want eloise cressida and pen to be just friends and for cressida to say sorry to pen and grovel

LORD KILMARTIN BACK IN THE HOUSE i love him 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

philippa really selling the pregnant thingy 😭😭😭 o are they both pregnant

SNOW ON THE BEACH !!!!!!!!!!

eloise is back

O GOD COLIN ‼️

debling is connecting the dots

okay so colin, honey, listen. you will only resolve this if u like propose like rn

portia pls love ur daughter

AW IT WAS SHEET MUSIC??? 🥹🥹🥹💕

COLIN YES GO COLIN wait he ran after the carriage 🤭🤭

wait did they not play jealous at all yet? or have i missed it

COLIN SAY IT SAY ITTTTTTTTTTTTT

CARRIAGE SCENE PLS ‼️🤞🤞🤞

despite being the writer of the bridgerton family, and yes he is good with words, he has yet to have like a distinct monologue or line that becomes the pinnacle of the season

YES PENELOPE YES SPEAK UR TRUTH AND GET UR MAN

omg omg omg omg omg

i forgot what song title it is but omg its the pitch perfect song 😭

OH HES GOING FOR IT

seggs scenes are so awkward for me lmao

okay wait i love this

AHHHHHHHHH

oh no now he has to find out shes lady whistledown

OMG HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream

Pairing: Eddie x Reader

Word count: 5.9k

Masterlist

Notes: *me peeing while figuring out what to name this chapter* *sees a bottle that says planets* Niceeeee. I need you to know, that while editing this, I am LITERALLY ON MY LAPTOP SETTING THE QUEUEUEUE button (I cant spell that) I added one sentence. and I promise you when you read this you're gonna know and just hear my evil laughter

Episode 4: Fast Cars and Faster Planets

“What do mean you guys had a steamy ass make out sesh and immediately said “oh we’re totally friends” Buck is practically pulling his hair out as Eddie tells him what happened after you guys left the party 

“Because we are friends Buck,” He tells him like it’s the simplest thing in the world, but Buck is ready to slam his head into the wall 

“Friends don’t have make-out sessions!!!” Buck yells at him. Eddie glares at him to lower his voice and Buck rolls his eyes

“Okay but didn’t we- “ 

“That was one time!” Buck stops him, putting his hands over his mouth 

“And we agreed to never talk about that again! In a bro way, not a “we were embarrassed to do that” way” 

Eddie pushes his hands away and sighs “So  why is it any different?” 

“Because. You are both. Clearly. Into each other.” Buck punctuates every sentence with a clap 

“Okay so fine! I’m done talking about this! I told you what happened there. Done” Eddie throws his hands in the air and gets up from his seat, storming downstairs. Buck slides his hand down his face, rolling his eyes to the freakin heavens, and follows after him 

“Eddie- fuck okay fine. I’m sorry. I’m being pushy” He says as he reaches out for him. He pats his shoulder and gives it a squeeze 

“No… I’m just. Being sensitive I guess. You’re right Buck, I do really like her… I’m just not ready to tell her that and she doesn’t seem ready to tell me that either, but I think she knows how I feel. And there’s still the question of "If she even does like me back.” 

Buck’s hand covers his mouth, he stops for a moment. He’s gotta be there for his friend he’s gotta be supportive and loving, his friend is feeling vulnerable. 

“I love you Eddie, thank you for feeling like you can come to me. But that’s the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever said to me and I desperately want to kick your ass” 

Nailed it. 

“What- what how! How-“ Eddie is spluttering and Buck just shakes his head, and walks away, giving him both fingers. 

“What did you say to him?” Hen asks as she walks by, Eddie throws his hands in the air again 

“I don’t know!! All I said was I didn’t know if Y/N liked me back” 

“After you told me that you guys made out half naked in the front seat of the fucking car And had that weird “friends” moment!!!” Buck yells across the station and Hen's mouth drops open, as does Chimney’s … and Bobby’s and that one probie Eddie can never remember the name of

“You did what?!?!” Chimney yells down from the stairs and Buck slaps his hands over his mouth, giggling 

“Oh my god Eddie I’m so sorry”

“Hold up-I’m so- what?!?” Hen's mouth is wide open

“Jesus fucking-“ Eddie runs his hands through his hair, glaring at Buck, who’s having a giggle fit as he jogs back over.

Chimney and Bobby both come over too and Eddie feels like he’s been caught by his parents sneaking his girlfriend into the house 

“I’m literally going to end your life” He points at Buck

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to blurt it out” 

“Did you guys only make out?” Hen asks 

“I’m pretty sure Eddie would tell us if they had sex” Chim defends him 

“Did you use protection?” Bobby looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack. They’re all talking at once and Eddie looks like he’s about to strangle Buck 

“Oh my god no! God they just made out that’s it! I'm totally over exaggerating” Buck tries to backpedal as best he can, Hen looks at him skeptically 

“You were pretty clear with what you said, it didn’t seem all…Buckified”

“First of all, hurtful. Second of all. Come on! Let’s just you know, leave him alone!” 

“You think she’s told Maddie by now?” Bobby asks Chimney 

“I’m literally texting her right now,” He says, looking down at his phone 

“Okay come on- really! No! Bobby?!” Eddie gestures wildly and Buck tries to snatch Chimney’s phone 

“Guys we should respect Eddie! We don’t need to know his personal-“ he’s trying to rein this entire thing back in but there’s no corralling this circus. Bobby would know, he’s been trying for years and it's never worked.

“Oh my god, they were at the beach under the stars!!” Chimney coos and Hen shakes Eddie’s shoulders 

“That’s our boy!”

“We’re so proud of you” Bobby pats his back and Eddie looks up, trying to figure out which rafter to hang himself and Buck from. 

“Seriously I’m sorry about Buck and Maddie… maybe I shouldn’t have told them”

“Eh I gave em hell already” Eddie chuckles “Besides, you have a right to talk to your cousins… even if one of them is the biggest blabbermouth I’ve ever met in my entire life”

You giggle and shake your head “As long as you’re not mad…”

“Of course I’m not mad sweet girl. I’ll talk to you later, I’m gonna be driving” You can hear the smile in his voice 

“Just put me on speaker, safety schmaftey” You joke and he snickers before biting his lip 

“So, I’ll come pick you up later tonight okay? We’ll go to the drive-in and then go back to that diner”

“Sounds good to me,” You say, your voice sweet and sappy. Maddie fake gags and you throw a pillow at her

“Alright… sounds good..” he says, but he doesn’t hang up and neither do you. You listen to him get in the truck and you both laugh lightly 

“You’re supposed to hang up you know” He teases, his cheeks blushing. 

“Yeah and so are you” You giggle, Maddie groans loudly 

“Oh god don’t you two dare do this. I will hang up on both of your asses for you” 

You both laugh and Eddie shakes his head “Bye sweet girl, I’ll talk to you later” 

“Bye Eddie” You roll your eyes at the nickname, your cheeks feeling like they’re on fire. He hangs up and you set your phone down on your stomach before covering your face with your hands, squealing and kicking.

“What did he say that’s got you like that?” Maddie asks, looking over at you as she eats her chocolate-covered popcorn 

“He called me “sweet girl” twice” you squeal all over again, literally rolling off the couch. Maddie laughs at you and sits forward 

“Oh god Y/N are you okay?” She’s giggling with you and you sit up, using the coffee table to get up off the floor

“We’re going to the drive-in! Oh god a drive-in that’s so freaking cool”

“And romantic” Maddie adds, a teasing look on her face 

“Oh shut up it’s not that romantic… probably”

“It’s super romantic!” She says, “And we need to get you something cute to wear”

“It’s not a date Maddie!” Your cheeks flush but… you want to dress up nice for Eddie admittedly and it’s not like you’ve had a chance to in forever… it doesn’t even have to be something frilly or overly dressy. Just something that made you feel sexy when he looked at you 

“Fine, we can go shopping” You sigh, giving in. 

“Let’s visionboard this, maybe we can just shop for one or two pieces” She grabs her iPad and pulls up a blanket document, casting it to the TV and you roll your eyes, coming to sit on the couch with her. She starts a Pinterest board and invites you to it

“Okay, so drive-in vibes. I’m thinking something jean, maybe a leather jacket?”

You spend the next half hour with her, going through Pinterest and putting together a little collage of the outfit you’re looking for. You’re going to borrow her Doc Martens and get a new pair of jeans shorts. You’re both undecided on the top and after going back and forth for another 10 minutes she finally gets up from the couch and goes digging in her closet. She’s way too pregnant for this but there’s no way you can stop her. She pulls out an old KISS t-shirt. The sleeves are rolled and it’s oversized. 

“This is perfect. We tuck it in? Buy you some fishnets? And maybe a thong”

She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and you throw a pillow at her 

“I’m not wearing a thong!”

You and Maddie are getting ready to leave when she gets called into work for a couple of hours. She begrudgingly leaves you at her place, promising to be home as soon as she can and you can help yourself to anything in the fridge

“I promise we’ll have time to go shopping! Even if we have to go with Buck! You’re gonna look cute”

“Where are we going?” Buck’s standing in the doorway, one shoe still hanging from his foot 

“Eddie and Y/N are going to the drive-in and we’re getting her a new outfit” She kisses you both on your cheek and says her goodbyes. 

“You and Eddie are finally going on a date?” He asks as he closes the door behind Maddie and comes into the house 

“Oh my god for the last time, it’s not a date! Eddie asked me if I wanted to go see The Mummy at the drive-in and I said yes! And then we’re going to the diner”

“Oh my god. Oh. My. God. You are literally describing a date!“ 

“I’m describing a cool and laid-back hang-out with a friend!!” 

“I swear to god if you and Eddie say you’re friends one more time I’m gonna lose my shit” 

“We are!!” 

“Oh, that is it!!” 

Buck tackles you over onto the couch and starts throwing a flurry of tiny punches. You’re laughing hysterically as he tickles your sides and pretends to slap you silly. He shakes your shoulders and you squeal, trying to shove him off of you 

“Alright alright!! Enough” you wheeze, falling over onto the floor. He slaps your butt one last time and throws a pillow at you 

“Just date already!!!”

The call comes to Buck first, and he’s out the door before they even hang up. He pulls you out with him to the car and you rush to get in

“What’s going on??” You ask, your voice panicked 

“Eddie called I can barely understand him, he sent me his location. Call Maddie for me?” 

Your phone is already ringing “Maddie?? What’s happening?”

There was a seven-car pile-up on the highway apparently and Eddie called it in with what clarity he had before he hung up and called Buck for help. 

“Bobby’s gonna have his ass for calling me” He laughs nervously, his hands shaking as he drives. He’s not being careful in the least.

“Buck that was-“ He speeds through the red light, he’s not even paying attention at this point. Just rambling now

“He knows he’s not supposed to call me! I’m off duty! He knows I would come get him, no matter what. I’ll always come get him I’ll always come save him. Like he does for me? You know-“

You put your hand on his shoulder and scoot closer to him “Hey, hey calm down. You’re not driving safe okay? And we can’t get to Eddie if you’re not being safe. It’s gonna be okay.”

Buck slows down marginally but stops running through red lights. His hands flex on the steering wheel nervously and you smile softly, rubbing his arm trying to soothe him. 

The scene is… less than ideal, Buck gets you two past the checkpoints and you run up to the officers on the scene, they’re delegating and everyone who can be is being moved. But you hear that something is leaking and they’re not sure what. They know it’s leaking from the truck that got hit and skidded a couple hundred or so yards from the rest of the pileup but that’s about it…The man is responding on his radio when people begin frantically yelling and running away. 

The explosion knocks you backward from the way it shakes the ground, the pile of cars shakes and groans and the fire is heading towards them fast. Efforts are tripled to get people out of the cars but it’s not enough. 

“I have to help them, promise me you’ll stay right here, please. I’m begging you, tell me you’ll stay right here” 

“I’ll stay,” you tell him reluctantly but quickly 

“ I’ll stay here, you go help”

Buck kisses your head before he runs off and you’re just left there, standing next to a man barking orders into a radio and all you can do is watch. 

Buck is helping people and you can see he’s struggling to not look for Eddie but Eddie would agree their lives come first. You’re helping people get settled on the sidelines now, helping them sit down and giving them bottles of water while they wait for the paramedics to come to check them out. 

You’re giving a mother an extra bottle for her kid when you hear someone yelling fire, the cars are starting to catch fire. Adrenaline shoots through you as look towards the pile-up, Buck is bringing an older woman to the side when he looks at you. You’ve got the same look in your eyes that he gets, that Maddie gets. 

Buck tries his best to hold you back, his arms firmly around your waist as he catches you before you can run. 

“No! You can’t! You know you can’t you have to stop!”

“But he’s in there “ you sob, trying to fight your way out of his arms 

“They’ll get him Y/N I promise. I’ll get him my damn self if I have to!” 

You fall to the ground, and Buck collapses with you and holds you against him. He’s rocking the two of you. There’s no time for this but he knows you. And he knows how you feel about Eddie… 

“It’s gonna be okay, it’s okay” he repeats to the both of you, he’s shaking just as hard as you are as you both watch the pile-up of cars not even knowing where Eddie’s is. Buck waits until you’ve calmed down a little and lets you go before he goes running back into the danger zone, things are moving faster but it’s just not enough.

“Fuck this!” You yell as you go running past the barricades, past the cops screaming at you to stop, the first car you come up to is empty, and so are the next three. Two people are working to get one woman out and another three working on helping a family out. You run around the pile and Buck is standing there dragging a man away 

“Are you shitting- Y/N what are you doing?!” Buck yells at you, still dragging the man. You grab his feet and pick them up, it makes the work faster and you get him to the sidelines where the paramedics take him 

“No absolutely fucking not, no. Do you know what “no” means?!?” Buck immediately starts yelling at you and you shove him back toward the crash

“No one is gonna get saved if you keep yelling at me! Yell at me later!” 

“Oh I'm gonna kill you, I'm so gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill you so hard you’ll-“

“Buck?!”

Both you and Buck freeze, he stops yelling at you and you look toward the pile 

“Eddie?!” You both yell in unison running towards a shiny blue truck. Eddie is upside down, his head bleeding, his arms cut up. You both go racing towards the truck, Buck laughs through his tears as he carefully opens the front door. The truck creeks and all of you stop moving

“She has to come in Buck, she’s the only one small enough” his voice is so tired, you can tell he’s fading fast “I gotta admit, not even sure why the hell she’s over here in the first place” 

“Be careful” Buck warns you as you get down on your knees, Buck tosses you his coat from the back seat of the truck and you put it over the glass, crawling in.

“Because she’s a Buckley. We’re stubborn as hell” 

You crawl into the space, it’s a tight fit but Buck wouldn’t have been able to at all. “Hey handsome, hang out here often?” You ask as you start to work on getting him out of the seat

Eddie chuckles lightly but groans “God don’t make me laugh, it hurts. It’s getting pretty hot… fire coming over here?” 

“You bet it is,” Buck says, helping to maneuver Eddie. They shouldn’t be moving him, they don’t know the extent of his injuries but he could die either way 

“You, you look so good. Is that what you were going to wear today?” Eddie asks you, his eyes closing slowly 

“Hey, hey stay with me,” you say calmly, although the way your heart is pounding and your hands are shaking kind of gives way the panic “I was going to change, this is kind of just my lounging outfit” 

“Goddamn if that’s your lounging outfit you need to sleep over more often” He chuckles breathlessly, his eyes closing. "God I love you"

You don't hear it.

“Eddie?? Eddie?!” You pat his cheek lightly and he doesn’t respond 

“Buck?!” Your voice is high-pitched and panicky 

“Keep it together Y/N we got this c’mon you need to focus” 

You take a deep breath and still for a second, he’s right. There’s no time for panic in this situation. You wait for Buck’s count and cut the strap of the seatbelt, he catches Eddie and pulls him from the wreckage. He isn’t making a noise as you grab his feet and bring him away. A couple of paramedics run over getting him onto a spinal board. Buck forces you to go with him, promising he’ll be safe and that nothing is gonna happen to him. He shuts the doors to the ambulance and you’re off to the hospital. 

“Mrs. Diaz?” 

You’re stirred awake by the Doctor gently shaking your shoulder. His voice is deep and honeyed. He’s a good-looking man, a delicious-looking man. His name tag, Dr. Pascal, has a cute little green animal sticker on it. 

You’d been directed to a waiting room while they assessed Eddie yesterday. The nurse wasn’t going to bring you back to the family room until you turned on the waterworks, sobbing about the condition of your “husband”

“H-he was on his way h-home for our first-anniversary dinner. He accidentally left his ring at home today too!” you cry into a small handful of tissues. She rubs your back, shushing you and helping you into a chair. She sits with you for a little bit, consoling you and honestly, you do feel a little bad but god this is an award-winning performance. 

There’s a little commotion outside of the room before Buck appears 

“Oh baby girl,” he says softly as you rush into his arms 

“Her brother” he mumbles to the nurse, shaking her hand. He hugs you tightly, rubbing your back as he quiets your crying 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay kiddo. No matter what you’re here for him and that’s all that matters. Can we go back soon?” He looks to the nurse 

“I’m not sure, I’ll have the doctor come get you when it’s okay. I hope everything turns out sweetie”

“Thank you” you sniffle into Buck’s shirt 

The wife bit might be a bit much and you’re a bit shy to even tell Eddie… but it’s kinda cute to be Mrs. Diaz right now, it makes you feel all giddy and sappy inside. 

Buck called Bobby, letting him know what happened so he’d spread the word. He sits on the couch with you, putting his feet up on the small coffee table in front of him. 

“You doin' okay?” He asks quietly and you shrug 

“Are you?… he’s your best friend” You lean into him, your head on his chest. He puts his arm around you and lays his cheek on top of your head

“I’m not worried. He’s the strongest, coolest, guy I know. Cool guys don’t die” 

His voice cuts out a little at the end and you hug him tighter “He’s not gonna die Buck. He just needs some rest”

Your voice is soft and warm but firm and you feel him sag into your arms. You and Buck sit together for hours, there’s not much of a change. Eventually, Bobby comes in, using his status, and finds you two asleep. He ruffles Buck’s hair and smiles at you. Buck stirs a little and wakes up 

“Hey Cap”

“Hey son”

“Anyone else here?” Buck scoots you both over and Bobby sits next to him, putting his arm over Buck’s shoulders 

“Nah, told em to stay home, that I’d handle everything. Which by the way, I’ll handle everything”

Buck smiles a little and nods, he leans back into Bobby and closes his eyes again 

“Thanks, Dad”

 You greet the doctor with a small, nervous smile, little tears appearing in your eyes again. 

“You can see him now, he’s still asleep but he should be waking up soon. His body just needs time”

He leads you back to Eddie’s room, his arm around your waist for support. You look like you’re about to pass out yourself and he’s worried. He helps you into a chair next to Eddie’s bed and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, promising to come check on you two soon. 

“I’ll go get your brother”

Eddie wakes up to the annoying beeping of the machines around him. He blinks softly, cringing at the bright lights above him. He goes to raise his hand over his eyes, but stops short, hissing in pain. The lights are lowered and he feels soft hands on his arm, easing it back into place. 

“Careful…you dislocated your shoulder” 

Buck is in the cafeteria getting you two something to eat when Eddie’s eyes flutter open. 

You’re at his bedside, pulling the covers back up over his chest. He reaches out for you anyway, wincing and you take his hand in yours

“Quit moving so much” you scold him and he smirks, looking around the room 

“How long was I out for?” You hold a cup up and put the straw in his mouth 

“A day or so, but like all of yesterday, and during the night. It’s 2 in the afternoon. So not like a day-day but like a day you know what I mean?”

Oddly he does know what you mean.

“How did you get in here?” He asks as he gingerly tries to sit up, You help him, raising the bed and fluffing up his pillow behind him

“Uh… I may have said I was your wife” 

Eddie looks at you, blinking before he laughs “No- really how did they let you in” he chuckles lightly 

You waved your fingers with a little smirk on your face, a simple gold ring was on your finger, and Eddie had one too. 

“I was already wearing the ring in general… and Buck brought one from home for you last night. I told them you just left yours on the nightstand that day. And trust me that was an award-winning sob performance okay” 

Eddie puts his hand up to yours. Your hand is so much smaller than his… so much softer. You wrap your fingers around his and stand up, leaning over to kiss him gently. 

“I’ve never been so scared” You whisper honestly, your heart beating out of your chest. Eddie tugs on your hip, pulling you closer to him and you smirk, raising an eyebrow. You go around the bed, to his good side, and crawl in with him. He puts his arm around you and pulls you into him, kissing your head.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you sweet girl” he whispers into your hair, nuzzling his head against you. He doesn’t remember too much of what happened, but he does remember you and Buck saving him, that’s about the only thing he can remember 

“I like you, Eddie” 

Athena was right, life was too short to keep that from him. He freezes in his tracks, he’s short-circuiting and his heart monitor gives away the way his heart rate picks up when you say that. You giggle into his chest and he groans 

“I like you too Y/N, I should have told you sooner. Like you know, the minute I saw you” 

You blush at his words, looking up at him. 

“Friends until we’re ready to move things forward?” You ask softly, carding your fingers through his hair. Your palm rests on his cheek and he leans into your touch. 

“Friends until I heal up and can take you on a proper date” 

It’s funny how things work out. You and Buck help Eddie into his bedroom, and then Buck helps bring your bags in from the jeep and into the spare room. You’re not moving in officially, just long enough to nurse Eddie back to health. Which Buck insisted on. The doctor said he’d be up and running again in a week or two but Buck couldn’t stand the idea of Eddie being home alone and, to be honest, neither could you. 

“Please let me remind you both, that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself” 

He sits up a bit awkwardly, wincing, and Buck helps him. Grumbling as he fluffs up Eddie’s pillow 

“You need help for at least three days minimum and with Y/N not having anything to do she’s the perfect nurse” 

“You guys are acting like I’m a child this is ridiculous” Eddie crosses one arm over his chest, pouting especially because he can’t cross both 

“You know if it makes you feel better, Buck bought you a surprise,” you say as you smooth out the covers on the end of the bed 

“What kind of surprise?” Eddie perks up a little and Buck claps his hands, rubbing them together 

“Oh ho ho just you wait and see. I’ll be right back!” Buck runs out of the room and you roll your eyes 

“I don’t even know where the hell he got it”

“What is it?” 

“Oh, I’m not telling you. And there’s no way in hell either of you is making me do it”

“Do what?” Before Eddie can even begin to guess, Buck comes running back in, he jumps on the bed, jostling Eddie and nearly knocking you off 

“Tadaaaa!!!” He throws a clear costume bag in Eddie’s lap, it’s a nurse's costume complete with a cute little hat. Eddie bursts out laughing, holding onto his chest until he’s wheezing and crying. Both he and Buck are in a heap and your arms are crossed tightly over your chest as you turn away from them and slide off the bed 

“It’s not funny!” You yell at them and they keep giggling their heads off, wiping at their eyes 

“Oh come on, please? Please, please, please just once” Eddie has his hands clasped now, giving you the biggest, sweetest puppy dog eyes, and your mouth drops. Buck copies him and they put their heads together like they’re little angels and not the absolute assholes they’re being 

“Why are you trying to get me into it?!” You point a finger at Buck and he gestures wildly 

“Because that’s comedy gold!! And you know it’s just fun” 

“How about you put it on!” 

“Bet. Bet” Buck snatches it from the bed and gets off “If I do it, you do it” 

“Deal” 

“Wait no deal!” Eddie says “He’ll stretch it out! Go buy another one” 

“Oh my god you’re right” Buck tosses it at you and grabs his keys from the bedside table

“I’ll be back!!” 

You climb back onto the bed as Buck leaves, crawling over and fluffing up Eddie’s pillow again 

“You guys are idiots” 

“Yeah, but we’re your idiots. Maybe we can get me one and we can be a group for Halloween 

You giggle and lay next to him on the bed, putting your head on the other pillow. He looks at you, a soft smile on his face. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

“You really gonna put that thing on?” He nods at it and you blush 

“Yeah. Because we both know Buck will, and I’m a woman of my word”

Eddie looks at you, a mischievous little smirk on his face

“You know…. I wouldn’t mind a little pre-show”

You give him a look “A pre-show huh?”

“I’m sure it would cheer me up… you know since I’m so hurt and all” he gives you those big ole puppy dog eyes again and you let your head fall back laughing 

“You’re such a little shit” 

You grab the bag from the bed and hop down 

“Give me a minute” 

Eddie isn’t sure what he expected, but he wasn’t prepared for when you walk back into his room. He can hear the sultry click of your heels as you walk slowly down the hallway… he shifts nervously, looking at the door.  

“Surprise” you hold your arms up, waving your fingers “What do you think, I thought the heels sold it” You giggle as you do a little spin for him. “Buck is gonna look great in this, and I'm already hating” 

Have you ever seen that scene in SpongeBob? Where little SpongeBob's are running around his brain trying to figure out his name and everything is on fire? 

Eddie’s mouth drops wide open. He’s not sure where to look first, he’s not even sure if he should be looking. You walk over to him, placing your finger under his chin and closing his mouth 

“Dropped somethin’ gorgeous” You purr and he slaps a pillow over his lap 

“Go change. Go change right now” 

“Yeah no I’m pretty comfortable like this actually” You hop up on the bed, crossing one leg over the other. You prop yourself up with your hands and let your head fall back. Eddie is speechless and mindless and he’s sure all the blood in his body has gone to one place in particular at this point 

“You need anything, sir? Water maybe? A sponge bath” you whisper breathlessly, biting the tip of your finger.

His face flushes even deeper and you fall onto your back cackling 

“Oh my god, Eddie you should see your face!” 

Eddie watches you laughing at him, his eyes narrow as yours water. You sit up, still giggling and trying to hold yourself together 

“I’m so-sorry” you snicker. Crawling up to him, you sit on your legs and lean forward a bit

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t be laughing so much at your reaction that’s not very-“ You don’t even get to finish your apology

Because you’re within reach now. 

His arm shoots out and he pulls you in by the back of your head, you stumble forward and land against his chest, your hands in front of you. He pushes your lips together, greedily kissing you like he’s missed your sweet taste. When he’s sure you’ll stay there, his hand trails down your side before tossing the pillow aside and tugging you into his lap properly. 

“Eddie wait you have to-“ 

“Did I say stop kissing me?” His voice is deep and a bit growly when he speaks, he’s glaring at you and you melt right into his lap like a dreamy little puddle. 

Your lips frantically find his again and he moans in approval, your tongue lapping at his, before twisting in a lock for dominance. You feel his hand slide down over your ass and play with the fabric of the dress a bit like he’s tempted to pull it up.

And he is tempted to pool it around your waist and see just what other surprises you’re hiding. 

He adjusts his hips a bit and rubs against you. He can feel that little wet patch beginning to form on the front of your panties. You moan softly and it’s like music to his ears, that’s one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard fall from your lips. He ruts his hips against yours again and you whimper this time, holding onto his good shoulder. Your hips automatically come back down on his, grinding down a bit. He grins wickedly, trailing kisses across your cheek 

“Tell me what you taste like” He whispers in your ear, nibbling it a little “Have you ever tasted yourself, angel?” He walks two fingers down your hip and around to the front of your dress 

“Will you let me-“ 

“Oh my god, you guys, I can’t believe they actually had one in my-“ 

Buck comes into the bedroom, takes one look at the two of you, and screams at the top of his lungs 

“Oh- oh my- oh- god oh-“ He gags. “Are you???? Did I??? Wait are you?! Oh my god are-!?!”

He can’t tell if he should be happy, or bleach out his eyeballs. 

You scramble off of Eddie’s lap and slap the pillow over his hard-on. He yelps and you squeak

“Shit. Sorry. Buck no-no-no!!! It’s not what it looks like!!” You get off the bed and his mouth drops even more as you straighten out your dress 

“Are those heels!?!” 

“I thought it would be funny!! I thought they worked with the costume!!” 

“I mean yeah they do but I’m never gonna find any in my size that goes with this” 

“Okay fine I’ll take them off so it’s fair”

“Okay… anyway…” He screams again and falls to his knees, covering his face “Mama noooooooo”

You groan and fall backwards on the bed and Eddie just laughs at Buck’s theatrics 

“We didn’t do anything!!” You yell over his crying and he struggles to pull himself up off the floor using the bed

“You slept with my best friend!” He points at you and your mouth drops open 

“I did not!! We made out! That’s it” 

“Well stop making out!”

“Do you want that?” Eddie asks, looking at him 

“Oh my god of course not. I want my cousin and my best friend to get married so we can be related. Stop making out with him!!” He throws a pillow at you and it knocks you backwards

“I don’t know how to feel. Do I want you guys to finally fuck and get together? Uh yes?!. But will I also end my life if I ever see that? Also yes!!!” 

“Can you just go change, you freaking cockblock” Eddie hisses at him and Buck gives him a skeptical look 

“Yeah. Because you two would have had sex anyway. Sure.” 

You roll over back next to Eddie and lay your head on his chest.

“He’s the worst”

“No, actually he is” 

“I can still hear you guys!!”

Buck takes his time changing, you can hear him bouncing as he fights his ass into the tights 

“Do you want help?” You giggle, Eddie is rubbing soft circles on your back, truly enjoying the way you’re lying with him in that skimpy little outfit. 

“Oh my god” Eddie looks up when Buck walks in and does a little spin, matching your exact stance from earlier 

“Oh my god” you repeat, your jaw dropping. 

“He looks better than you do”

“He looks better than I do”

[just-b-wilde]

Okay, I just saw S02E07 and I have so many thoughts and feelings about this episode!

Many people write that Five would do anything for his family and they build his entire personality on that. Which is definitely true, he has done so much for them! But at what cost? Also, what did he get from them in return?

When Five accepts The Handler's offer and kills the Board of Directors, you can literally see that he's trying to exhaust all other options. He doesn't want to do it, and his frustration comes through with the food vending machine scene, trying to stall the moment as long as possible... and when the chocolate doesn't fall out of the machine, it's the imaginary last straw of his patience.

Is the axe scene cool? Visually? Absolutely! But otherwise, it's deeply disturbing and you can see on his face many times that he's ashamed of that he did it. He did it, he was a professional at this, of course. But he never really wanted to do it. It certainly wasn't an act he was proud of himself for.

You know, his sarcasm and scenes like these make him a beloved character. But you know, sarcasm is a defensive gesture in many, many cases. I'm pretty sure that he's so uncomfortable at many points in his life and doesn't feel comfortable opening up to anyone that he just operates in that mode of his.

And his family? All they do is tell him all the time how it's his fault they got where they did! But neither of them realize that without him, they'd all be dead. Both Allison and Vanya are experiencing their equivalent of the "strawberry greenhouse", Vanya in particular is very selfish about this and doesn't want to give up her happiness. She even stands up to Five, she has no idea what Five must have done for her and the other siblings and in his face it's just - pain and frustration.

Diego and Luther see him covered in blood and just ask what he did. But no one actually asks… I don't know… are you okay? Sure, he'd probably tell them to fuck off for asking that question, but I wonder if anyone ever really asked him. Sorry, I don't quite have a memory for every dialogue.

I think part of the reason he did what he did was because he felt guilty that everyone had gotten into the past at a different time and that he was constantly being blamed for it. But he doesn't take the blame for how his siblings live their lives.

Both Allison and Vanya would take their partners with them no matter what. Diego never once mentioned that he wanted Lila to leave with him (he just said he wanted to say goodbye to her before he found out the truth) but more on that later. If Klaus could have been with Dave, he certainly wouldn't have hesitated a minute either. Luther's heart is broken, so it probably doesn't matter where he is. But if Allison told him to run away together to who knows where, I think he wouldn't hesitate either. So - Five is bad for wanting to be with someone he loved and was happy with? Literally any of his siblings would do that!

And then if his family doesn't get together and he loses his suitcase? He is so very angry and frustrated because what he did was ultimately unnecessary! God, seriously, I don't think his family has ever been able to appreciate what the Five have ever done for them (again). Yes, he's often quite hard on them, but I actually don't blame him in many ways. And yes, they don't know many things. But why might that be?

Five has done a lot for his family, but you know what? I don't feel like they've ever given back to him in any way. Or that anyone would be willing to do something like that for him. Often his family sees him as just a crazy man who foresees the coming apocalypse and disrupts their lives.

And Lila (and Diego)? Well...

I'm pretty sure that if Diego left and never saw Lila again, he wouldn't have any deeper problem with it. Yes, I'm sure he liked her in a way - but at the same time he didn't know her. When he found out the truth, he wanted nothing to do with her. But still, everything else was more important to him. He wanted to save the president and be a hero, that was the main thing that drove him forward.

The fact that Lila kidnapped him was simply a rebellion against her "mother". By the way, I'm really sorry about how Elliot ended up... because that was just really bad and he deserved to at least be buried, Lila, really... Well, back to topic... Lila is scared of her and repeatedly talks about her fears for her safety and literally not sure if The Handler's plans include making sure nothing can happen to her. Maybe that was part of the reason she wanted to get the job that Five got. To show her that she was useful and necessary in her plans.

Honestly, I don't think Lila "enjoyed killing" any more than Five did, but I think it was her way of defending herself because she knew how dangerous her "mother" could be, even to her. Yet, at the same time, it's quite odd that she dragged Diego into this situation, as if perhaps he could be some sort of shield, which he most certainly is not.

This arc isn't actually very well grasped, and seeing it again, it just strikes me as odd. Yes, that was an interesting reason why Diego didn't come. But other reasons? And the foundation of their relationship is questionable at the very least (even more so than I remembered).

Well, I'm gonna go watch another episodes...

[mins-fins]

EPISODE 15 : ❛ froyo works every time ❜

Mark has to be completely honest, he is insanely nervous.

Why did he give into Johnny's incessant demands to ask you to get frozen yogurt Friday? He should've kicked the giant out of his room the moment he even tried to bring up you, texting you, or talking to you face to face once more.

Does he have enough time to run away before you show up? Maybe he can make an excuse about Yuta calling him for something, the older always covers for him, but he can't just bail out on you! He's been trying to do this for months, he gets to see you today and he immediately wants to chicken out? That's low..

He grits his teeth and shoves his hand into his pockets, seeing the weird look the employee at the counter is giving him through his peripheral vision. Oh he must look so pathetic right now, waiting around outside for what seems like forever, he's almost convinced your not going to show up.

But of course, you kept your word.

"Oh god I'm sorry I'm late! Practice went on for much longer than usual and when I realized the time Dejun purposefully held me up—"

Mark immediately snickers when you begin your ramble, and you pause, blinking at him. You caress the material of your sweater, suddenly feeling your cheeks grow hot. Why's he looking at you like that? Why is he smiling like that? Why is he being Mark Lee?

You're going to kill him, literally.

"Why'd you stop?"

"I don't want to sound like I'm making an excuse, did I make you wait too long?"

Mark is baffled that you'd even think so, he knows you care a lot about your time management, he knows you well enough to know you'd never make anyone wait on purpose. "No, no! I was just.. I don't know what I was doing if I'm being honest I was sort of just standing around".

You laugh at the words, still not looking at Mark directly. "Was the guy at the counter giving you dirty looks?"

"More like pitiful looks".

You let another laugh slip at the words, and Mark's lips turn up at the sight. "I'm stalling, aren't I? You came here for froyo, let me treat you".

He doesn't have to say anything more, you pretend your cheeks don't go red at the basic words. Maybe it's simply the way he said them, or maybe because it's Mark, it's always Mark, he just has always had this affect on you.

Mark glances back at you, catching you midway through your little zoning out session, he nudges you lightly with his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asks, voice hushed, as if indirectly saying you didn't really have to answer the question verbally.

"Hm? Yeah, yeah sorry" You shake your head, pushing Mark forward as a way to beckon him to go in. He simply gives you one last glance before following your silent demand, walking into the shop as you slowly followed behind him.

You allow for your eyes to scan the place, it's recognizable, and the nostalgia hits you much harder than you thought it would. You two, you and Mark that is, used to come here all the time back when you were dating, it was your regular spot, you loved the place's strawberry frozen yogurt, and Mark would indulge in your addiction all the time, of course making sure to judge your overuse of sprinkles.

You went there so often, in fact, that the employees behind the counter began recognizing you. Mark isn't as big a fan of froyo as you are, but he still followed you out whenever you wanted to go get frozen yogurt.

Your stomach begins to hurt, it hurts you in just the slightest.

Mark narrows his eyes at the many flavors displayed before him, humming. "You want strawberry right?"

You nod.

"Extra sprinkles?"

You simply smile, he does still know you. Mark hums again, biting his inner cheek. You then stop him from getting his wallet with your hand. "You're not actually paying, are you?" You inquire, and Mark rolls his eyes.

"Yn, I literally offered to pay".

"You don't have to, I was joking".

"Yn" He gently lowers your hand, but you can't focus on that with the way he's staring at you. Oh you're about to fall for him all over again, you want so badly to slip back into that lovesick fool you were before you broke up with Mark. "Don't argue with me, I'm paying".

You open your mouth to argue again, but Mark gives you a look, and it falls shut. Mark grins at his victory, snickering as a frown crosses your face. "That's so unfair.."

Mark hears your mutter, but he doesn't respond to it.

You really do love strawberry frozen yogurt, Mark doesn't really get it, but he finds your love for the treat cute either way (everything about you is cute, that's what Mark has decided). He can't even focus on his basic vanilla froyo, because he's too busy trying to figure out how to bring up what he so badly wants to bring up.

"How do you eat all of those sprinkles?" Mark wrinkles his nose, and you giggle around your spoon, eyeing Mark's melting frozen yogurt. "Seriously, it's too—"

"Sweet" You fill in the sentence for him, but you smile again as you scoop up another batch of sprinkles. "I know they are, Mark, but I like it like that".

"Hm".

"Yeah".

Mark stares at you, and you finally seem to catch the mental argument he's having with himself, because you leave your froyo alone, dropping your spoon. "Mark" You whisper, scratching your arm underneath your sweater.

"I'm sorry".

Mark wants to punch himself in the face, why the fuck are you apologizing? What are you apologizing for? He wants to ask why you're apologizing, but you keep going before he can open his mouth.

"I ended things because.. I felt like I was holding you back, your album was a hit and you became so busy and I didn't want to get in the way of that—"

"But you weren't" Mark doesn't care if he interrupted you, he had to get his point across. "I shouldn't have been so avoidant, you were clearly not doing your best and all I cared about was music".

"Don't give me that, none of it was your fault".

Mark's lips turn downward at your claim. "Still, I could've tried to consider your whole side of things".

You scoff, it's a playful one though. "I was being petty, I don't blame you for breaking up with me".

Mark is still frowning, and you relax your shoulders as you chuckle. "Stop frowning, stupid, I forgive you" He seems to want to resist his smile, but he can't, because his lips turn up, against his will, of course. "Your froyo is melting".

"I didn't really want it, anyway".

"Aww, you don't like frozen yogurt?" You raise an eyebrow, a teasing tone in your voice reminiscent of the tone you used back in that phone call.

"Not really, I just tolerate it because you like it" He states much too honestly for his own comfort. Mark has no idea why he said that, but he doesn't regret it, because you snicker, looking down at the floor. "What's so funny?"

"I don't know.. it's just— it's just how you say things, your words make me giggle".

"At least I still have that affect".

You giggle again, your giggles are addicting, Mark missed this, Mark missed you, he feels like he might go insane if he doesn't hold your hand or something.

But he doesn't give into such desires.

Mark has a good time out with you, he guesses Johnny was right, froyo does work every time. Thank goodness he barged into Mark's room earlier this week, thank goodness he decided to go through with this stupid frozen yogurt meetup thing.

And seeing you smile so wide just makes Mark feel giddy, he doesn't remember the last time he saw such a smile from you. He's not going to make the same mistake again, he promises.

Mark won't let you slip so easily from his fingertips this time.

previous masterlist next

taglist 𓏧 ↳ @junjiie, @cosmiicdream, @prettyrenjunn, @multifandomania, @luvkyu, @x-alightinthedark, @haocovr, @joonggphilia, @choerubies, @enthusiastofmanythings, @doejaejung, @iluvkyo, @yawnzbf, @haechansbbg, @ldrei, @dkmyman, @lampcults, @monstaxpuppy, @dreamandback, @moonslie04

[samthetrekkie]

I feel like I've abundantly established that I don't think the tos movies are the best ones ever made and this one was especially wild to me, but I still do have a soft spot for all of them. I never leave thinking "oh, I didn't like that", even if there were entire scenes were I was like ??? and/or second hand embarrassed. (think, uhura dancing naked, them thinking the alien on the planet is literally god). but then sybok asking when the pain began and spock goes "this is the scene of my birth" was way too funny to me (sorry spock). and the turbo boots scene in the jeffries tube was also really entertaining in a slapsticky way.

the general plot was a bit strange, but it actually reminded me of og tos episodes. at the same time, that's not necessarily a good thing… I liked the shore leave scenes, even though they were a bit long considering how short the movie was. it also reminded me of those old, unauthorized tos books (even though I've never actually read any of those) where they recycle typical tos episodes, but make it a little larger and filled with some non-canon info, like the random pairings. I do think scotty and uhura are kind of cute though! it came out of nowhere, but it kind of makes sense to me. (why do they call each other by their last names though?) and then cut to chekov and sulu in the woods bickering like a couple. makes sense as well. but why are these people serving on the same ship in the same positions again after they've become really high ranking officers? I think it actually made a lot of sense in wrath of khan that e.g. chekov was a first officer on a different ship and spock captain. but considering this, it makes a lot of sense that some (all) of them are bound to date each other at some point. it's like going to class with the same people for 8 years.

I surprisingly liked spock leaning more into his human side and being emotional than usual. it makes sense in my head that, after he was reborn, he kind of saw how short life was and that there was no need to keep up a facade at all times, but still not lose his identity. similar to seven in picard, I am always worried about autistic-coded characters changing their personality heavily after a while, but with spock it feels quite natural and it even worked with seven in the later picard seasons. I just think it's all about the balance. like I enjoy those characters being more comfortable, especially around friends and loved ones, but they shouldn't change entirely how they are and still seem "reserved". and I think leonard nimoy especially did well in that, even if this script gave him some out of character lines I think (like the "damn you, sir!"). have I already mentioned I think leonard nimoy is the best actor in tos…?

speaking of spock's rebirth and rethinking, I do see him being more open with kirk (I almost wrote jim, but that feels weird) and they had very much a married couple vibe in this movie. even the little maritial crisis in the brig was there. so I'd like to think kirk finally made a commitment :) and while there were not too many one on one scenes with these two, the next to last scene was more than one could wish for, spirk-wise. their intense eye contact and "please captain, not in front of the klingons" while standing extremely close to one another and kirk grabbing spock. like I've seen so many posts that shatner denies there was anything between kirk and spock, but the way he played kirk, I mean come on. I'm sure there wasn't a direction in the script that said "kirk stares lovingly up at spock". but he fully did in this scene! we have proof! and kirk holding on for dear life to spock as he rescues him with the turbo boots in the jeffries tube was also something. I mean of course you need to hold on, but kirk was embracing spock with a closeness different than mccoy did. (but then there is this strange thing with mccoy, where I keep thinking: is he third wheeling or is this a three way relationship? I somehow can't see mccoy fitting in with kirk and spock's romantic vibe and I don't see him in an erotic way in general but… tumblr is giving me ideas...)

a very long winded post to say: superfluous, but overall enjoyable movie. while watching, I also suddenly had flashbacks that this was the first (!) piece of star trek that I had ever (consciously) watched. it was on tv when I was like 10 and I kept zapping away and was surprised when it was still going and was like: isn't this supposed to be a tv show? and my dad, who grew up watching tos, had no memory of there ever being star trek movies in the 80s. he also had never heard of pretty much any star trek shows after tos at that point, so he was living under a rock, apparently. anyway, some of the scenes of this movie were really etched into my mind and I honestly think one of the subconscious reasons I wanted to watch tos was to get context to these scenes! (of course besides me wanting to watch all of star trek from the beginning.)

[whump-or-whatever]

Defiant whumpee who copes with humour dialogue pt. 2

• • •

Caretaker: *upon finding Whumpee standing over Whumper’s body* “What happened?”

Whumpee: “Would you believe me if I said they fell on the knife?”

• • •

Whumper: “Caretaker will never want you back”

Whumpee: *speaking as they would to a small child* “Aww, are you projecting your abandonment issues again?”

• • •

Whumper: “Finally I have you, what could be better than this?”

Whumpee: *singing softly* “if you only had a brain”

• • •

Whumpee: *literally dying*

Caretaker: *panicking* “Hold on, just hold on!”

Whumpee: “To what?”

• • •

Caretaker: *upon finding Whumpee during rescue* “Oh thank god you’re okay”

Whumpee: “I am so far from okay right now”

• • •

Whumpee: *being held prisoner*

Whumpee: *singing* “I’m breaking out, when September ends”

Whumper: “… It’s July”

Whumpee: “Shh, let me have my moment”

• • •

Whumper: “I’m going to kill you”

Whumpee: “Ugh, can you at least have someone else do it? No offence but I’d rather not have your face be the last thing I ever see”

• • •

Whumper: *locks Whumpee in a bare cell*

Whumpee: “You know, a throw rug goes a long way”

• • •

Caretaker: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

Whumpee: “How about what slowly kills you from the inside?”

• • •

Whumper: *revealing their dramatic backstory*

Whumpee: “I think I’ve seen this episode of Criminal Minds”

• • •

Whumpee: *chained to the ceiling shirtless*

Whumpee: “Finally, all those years of belly dancing are paying off”

• • •

Whumper: *walks into Whumpee’s cell*

Whumpee: *yells suddenly* “What are you doing in my swamp?”

• • •

Whumper: “I’m going to be gone for a few days”

Whumpee: *sarcastically* “oh good, you deserve a break”

• • •

Caretaker: “How did you escape?”

Whumpee: “pulled some real Houdini shit, you’d never believe me if I told you”

• • •

Whumpee: *yelling for several minutes to piss Whumper off*

Whumper: *storms up to them angrily* “What is your problem?”

Whumpee: “I have several, you’ll have to be more specific”

Whumper: “why are you screaming?”

Whumpee: *grinning* “I just think it’s neat”

• • •

Whumpee: *shows up on Caretaker’s porch after being missing for months*

Whumpee: “surprise motherfucker” *collapses*

• • •

Whumper: “It’s time for our daily session.”

Whumpee: “Oof, I’m sorry, you’ve caught me at a bad time. My schedule is booked wall to wall. Does next Thursday work for you?”

• • •

Whumper: “Stay quiet and do as I say and we won’t have any issues.”

Whumpee: “We’re going to have issues.”

• • •

Caretaker: “How bad is it?”

Whumpee: *putting pressure on a stab wound* “Tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but Tis enough”

Caretaker: “FFS WHUMPEE NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SHAKESPEARE”

• • •

Feel free to add!

[sylvies-chen]

ooooh the long awaited amsterdam episode!! let’s get right on into it folks, with…

TED LASSO 3.06 THOUGHTS

jamie and roy were really the shining stars of this episode to me on both the comedy front and the emotional front. they really were able to break through to each other in fun but kind ways and I love. I cannot stress that enough, LOVE. that jamie taught roy how to ride a bike. this sibling energy (or maybe something more if that’s your fancy) is everything to me

but you know who was an unsung hero of this episode too? DANI ROJAS. as always my baby had THE cutest contributions to the discussion and his lines got some very solid giggles from me

ok, now on to the tedbecca front…

so it was not at all what we expected. so what? are we gonna worry ourselves about this? HELL THE FUCK NO. like I’m sorry, it was a nice moment she had with that man but like… you want me to call tod on tedbecca over a man… whose name she never learned??? LAME. try again, cause that shit isn’t stopping me from my delusion nor is it worrying me

like sorry I’m just not over this so I’m gonna keep adding more— if they were trying to tell us that this guy was *it* for rebecca, in ANY way, they would have had her show even the faintest interest in seeing this man again. but nope! she was fine with leaving! some things can be beautiful being short-lived. they did their thing, and now they’re moving on.

rebecca singing to ted was also adorable and uh y’all we literally had ted fully admit to TEXTING HER TWELVE TIMES UNANSWERED?? that is simp behaviour if I ever saw it!! they’re still strong baby don’t even sweat it

now that I’ve got that off my chest… COLIN! GAY TRENT! THE LONG AWAITED CHAT!! Ooh my god this is so good I was so incredibly happy that they confirmed trent is gay and that they didn’t take the creepy route with it of him outing colin but instead said “oh a baby gay, as a seasoned gay let me just adopt him real quick” and proceeded to listen to his problems and offer real support and mentorship from one gay man to another. they found a space within each other to be who they truly are and I am so here for it. colin isn’t ashamed of who he is, he’s just conflicted about tmerging these two sides of his identity!

also the way he described it as an ache… an ache, y’all. I cried deep queer tears at that.

as for how this might play out with trent’s book though… remains to be seen I guess 👀

the pillow fight was adorable and I had been wanting to see that since the mention of it in season 1 but in terms of episode length, I feel like that whole storyline of deciding what to do could have been scrapped. a lot of the pacing issues with this episode could have been avoided that way, but I still liked it so idc

TED FINALLY GETTING A BREAKTHROUGH AND BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB THANK GOD

roy needs to realize that instead of thinking he doesn’t deserve keeley, to just shut that train of thought down and work to actually become a man keeley deserves. that’s it. that’s all. and it’s going to happen!

all in all, I do get why this episode could be quite polarizing and the pacing was very inconsistent but overall I quite enjoyed it!!

[logan-lieutenant]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 3 (pt. 2)

[competition ends, time to spin the wheel; Logan starts listing the prizes]

Logan: "...and a Logan mini helmet.."

Alex (who has made NO COMMENT yet and has seen all these prizes before: "Ah, that's not bad!"

oh alex what's wrong? you went most of a video without talking to each other? are you having WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS... merch is merch yeah :/ but it's my teammate's merch :) logan mini helment :D how cool is that :)

Alex (because he can't think before he speaks for the life of him): "I think the prize I wouldn't want.... *visible moment of regret* I– I shouldn't say, but–"

Logan (OH MY GOD THE SUN IS COMING OUT): "I know what it is, I know what you're thinking of!"

oh. oh OKAY. i see how it is now i already said they were in sync but APPARENTLY I DIDN'T SAY IT LOUD ENOUGH cause we had to double back and canonically confirm that out loud OKAY. can i just point out that knowing what someone likes and knowing what someone *dislikes* requires a whole different level of observation? like, think about it? and the dialogue ALONE is enough to write an essay on but the whole thing together?? alex leaning way in shoulder to shoulder we all know he can see the ipad logan chiming in as soon as alex starts fumbling the smile starting to spread on his face even as he's still looking down and then he and alex turn their heads in at the exact same time and logan gives him that smile as he says that line and at first alex is laughing but as soon as he gets those eyes he has to like giggle and blush and look down and curl in on himself WHAT? and then and then. both turning back to the ipad and alex is clearly trying to get ahold of himself and logan just sort of repeats in this half-gentle half-laughing but also like low voice, "I know what you're thinking..." like OOF that took it out of me. somebody on ao3 probably knows a specific term for sweet/teasing/sexy/provocative/taunting/gentle but for now i'm not settling on an adjective!! "I know what you're thinking" both gravelly and endeared after you've made someone literally do the blushing eyes-cast-down thing like 10 cm from their face... that is not from real life!! that is fanfiction!

[prize wheel spins, lands on Logan mini helmet]

Alex: "WHOA!"

Logan: "Oh, it's me..."

Alex *round of actual applause*: "That's a good prize!"

Logan (talking to the camera and ignoring the sparkles and rainbows next to him): "It's a Logan mini helmet... I won the challenge, so it makes sense–"

Alex (completely talking over him): "Is it gonna be signed? Are you gonna sign it? Are you gonna sign it?"

"that's a good prize" YOU SAID THAT ALREADY ALEX! he looks so excited!!! he looks like he got to win a prize– which is his TEAMMATE'S MERCH like, alex is a williams driver as a side hustle. his main career is actually logan sargeant fanboy, sorry to break the news like this.

at this point logan is kind of retreating into his own world again– not kind of, you can tell. the activity is officially over. the spinning the wheel part– the stupid thing all the hype is about– has concluded it. it's like he's got switches in his head that are flipped on and off for him. he did the fun part, he played the game. he had a little fun getting in close proximity to alex towards the end as has become tradition and then it sort of fades away for him.

not for alex, though. for alex, logan's still the brightest in the solar system. no matter how much or how little logan opens the blinds to anyone else alex feels the sunlight like it's never stopped shining. like the light in logan's eyes doesn't go out.

and so alex is excited. he thinks winning and then getting rewarded with the privilege of using essentially a random number generator to give a prize for somebody else who didn't even play is just ridiculous... and it is. but now he's loving it, and we know why

[quickstappen]

track 006: secrets spilling (you can't stop them)

A/N: two parts less than two months apart?? what is happening here? well, now that exams are over i've got way too much time on my hands, enjoy this one (there might be some mistakes here, don't give them much thought please)

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liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel and others

marcilazzaro1 life is good 💚 didn't know how much i longed for peace before i experienced it for the first time in a long while :)

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shithappens you don't understand how precious this is to me 😭

sebastianvettel I told you I'll change your mind about gardening 💚

↳ quickstappen i'm sorry- sebastian what do you mean

↳ redmilton ariana, what are you doing here??

alexandrasaintmleux The views are incredible, can't wait to see it in person! 😍

↳ marcilazzaro1 trust me, it's so worth it

lance_stroll did he make you plant the greens too?

↳ marcilazzaro1 he did... it wasn't so bad

↳ lewishamilton Liar, liar 🙄 you literally texted me that you loved it

↳ sebastianvettel You loved it?

↳ marcilazzaro1 it was a lot more fun than i thought 💚

gorgeous_aa23 sebastian stand up man 💀

nyoomf1 so she's definitely in Switzerland 👀

screwderriaf1 it's so weird not seeing her in the garage 🥺

↳ pierrespookie it's amazing 😍 don't have to look at the bitch during race weekends

↳ madi_races girl,, get the fuck out 💀

darth_nando is anyone else lowkey shipping her with seb now? 💀

sarah_scott we need a girls night asap

↳ clairobernie_x i second that

↳ marcilazzaro1 get over here then

albonohypetrain where is she staying in Switzerland?? she bought a house?

↳ blondecedes i may be wrong but it looks like she's staying with Seb??

↳ albonohypetrain oh my god 🥹

brunolazzaro_03 is that coffe?? 🤨

↳ marcilazzaro1 it's black tea, chill

↳ lewibear hmm 🤔

maxverstappen1 who's gonna be on babysitting duty now that you're gone?

↳ marcilazzaro1 P is welcome to visit at any given time, she's always gonna be my favourite 😉

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marci's messages:

lewis' messages:

marci's messages:

liked by charles_leclerc, lance_stroll and others

sarah_scott only good vibes at the sleepover (of course the only certified baker had to win the cupcake competition)

tagged: marcilazzaro1, clairobernie_x, location: Switzerland

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liza_mercf1 i hope you had fun! when's the new episode coming?

↳ sarah_scott don't worry, the new podcast episode is going live at 5pm this friday as always 🩷 this week with Callum Ilott

nyoomf1 oooh she's visiting Marci in Switzerland!!

redleclerc i love that they're still friends with Claire 🥹

lance_stroll with the amount of bags you had one would think you were leaving for at least a month, not 3 days

↳ sarah_scott i took a lot of housewarming gifts

↳ lance_stroll sure

↳ strollingaway 🤨 what's this then

brunolazzaro_03 did you vandalise the kitchen?

↳ clairobernie_x who do you take us for? of course we did

lewibear okay, now it's getting suspicious 🤨 no body shot again?

ilpredestinatox this looks so fun,, i also want a sleepover with this guys

albonohypetrain i can't wait for the next episode, those are the highlights of my week, seriously

clairobernie_x not my fault I'm just naturally talented in the kitchen babes 🩷

charles_leclerc ....a sleepover? 👀

↳ sarah_scott you have something to say Charles?

↳ charles_leclerc yeah, why wasn't I invited?

↳ sarah_scott we were gossiping about you, hard to do when you're there 😉

↳ charles_leclerc right, that's valid

↳ screwderriaf1 girl 💀

gorgeous_aa23 soo... they're all in Switzerland right now

madi_races we need more content with this three, this is everything

marcilazzaro1 see if I invite you ever again, the kitchen was a nightmare to clean 🙄

↳ clairobernie_x you looooovee us 🩷

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marci's messages:

madi's radio: hello, another one is here, a little text message heavy, I'll try to post most frequently really, also,,, does anyone speak croatian? it's one of the languages I'm studying and i could use the practice to be honest

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DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!