#spaceship kin

[citizenoftmrrwlnd]

stimboard for : a spaceship ai kin with space themes, computer stuff, and the colour red without gifs that include human hands requested by a system member for their system's host

x | x | x x | x | x x | x | x

[asalesbian]

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not again."

for @killjoysmonth prompt 'mirrors'

[trolley-treat-kins]

Basics!:

✮┆Name: Juniper or Holly (Jun is ok too!)

✮┆Age: 19

✮┆Pronouns: Winter/Winters/Winterself, Yule/Yules/Yuleself

✮┆About: Trolley Treat Kins is a blog for kins, headmates, fictives, etc from disney related sources and media! This is not a roleplay blog and I will not accept rp related requests!

Kins!:

✮┆Elsa (primarily Frozen 2 but Frozen 1 too)

✮┆Rapunzel (the series) fictionhearted

✮┆Citizen of Tomorrowland

✮┆Questioning more

DNI!:

✮┆Basic DNI

✮┆Proshippers

✮┆System discourse

✮┆RP and/or KFF

✮┆Pro Israel

✮┆Pro cringe culture

✮┆Anti kin/alterhuman

Whitelist!:

Of course I accept all requests disney but this is what I am most familiar with

✮┆Disney parks kins/place kins

✮┆Disney movies, shows, shorts

✮┆Twisted Wonderland

✮┆Disney: Dreamlight Valley

Rules!:

✮┆Please provide a translation if you are using a color or are using a font in requests

✮┆No typing quirks

✮┆Feel free to claim an anon tag, I use them when tagging

✮┆You’re always welcome to check in an a request but please be patient and don’t rush, I do have a life outside of this blog

✮┆Requests are limited to two per user but please don’t send them in separately

The menu!:

Fashion and self care kits have limited slots open. Kinfessions, canon calls, and promos always open!

✮┆Aurora’s cake: Moodboard

✮┆Beignets: Collage board (with or without the border, with or without symbols)

✮┆Spaceship cupcakes: Pronoun and name suggestions (can be requested separately)

✮┆Wonderland cookies: Fashion kits (0/1)

✮┆Mickey caramel apple: Self care kits (0/1)

✮┆Pawpsicle: Kinfession

✮┆Minnie’s gingerbread cookies: Canon call

✮┆Yule log: Promo

✮┆Gourmet grubs: Icons

Tags!:

✮┆Aurora’s cake! | Moodboard

✮┆Beignets! | Collage

✮┆Spaceship cupcakes! | Pronoun and names

✮┆Wonderland cookies! | Fashion

✮┆Mickey caramel apple! | Self care

✮┆Pawpsicle! | Kinfession

✮┆Minnie’s gingerbread cookies! | Call

✮┆Yule log! | Promo

✮┆Gourmet grubs! | Icons

✮┆Order up! -finished requests

✮┆Order taken! -requests in progress

✮┆The Fifth Spirit❄️! -text posts

Credits!:

✮┆Icon: @/callieskinhelp

✮┆Header: Frozen 2 visual development by Annette Marnat

[motoroil-recs]

[X / X / X] [X / 🏎️ / X] [X / X / X]

A stimboard for Dib Membrane [Invader Zim] with imagery of space, cryptozoology, and webcore in grey and blue.

[attackradish]

Second Kin Moment

In which for a solid half hour after I woke up, I continued to believe I was General Han Solo and that I’d ordered some ships to launch too early. I was worrying if they actually were too early and I had to go fix that or if I’d misunderstood the situation twice and had ordered them correctly through coincidence.

[aedensolus]

Pteraxii Void Angels are the largest of their kin, and specialized for orbital insertion and high-altitude maneuvering. They accompany and protect Skitarii dropships during deployment, and are armed and armored enough to survive reentry and engage enemy aircraft. While each individual is outfited with arc blasters mounted on their thrusters, they also carry heavy caliber flechette blasters and lightning claws for close engagement.

This is Dax. Her job is to jump out of spaceships and punch planes. She really loves her job.

[jrswritings]

Tingles and Giggles - Chapter Four - Tyler Owens x Reader

Get caught up with Chapter One, Chapter Two, and Chapter Three! Masterlist :)

Chapter Four - Out Wrangled

Tyler had paid for breakfast, leaving a generous tip for the gals who both gave you smiles and winks as they watched him open the door for you. 

“Are you ready to experience not Youtube star Tyler, darlin?” He asked, walking over to the passenger side of his truck. 

“And there’s going to be no crazy schemes or secret live streams to embarrass me?” You asked, leaning against the truck. 

“Promise,” he said, opening the door for you. 

You squinted your eyes at him, unsure if he was being serious or not. You got inside the truck, gently placing the flowers in the backseat so they didn’t get crushed. Tyler shut your door and walked around to the driver’s side and slid into his seat. Being inside the famous red truck made you feel like you were in some sort of spaceship with how many buttons and switches there were. Some of the labels in Boone’s handwriting made you giggle, ‘color booms’ and ‘stay putters’ were the best two of the bunch. 

“Admiring Boone’s handy work?” He asked, putting his seatbelt on and putting the key in the ignition. 

“I don’t know if handy work is the right word,” you laughed, “Maybe lack of English skills, but I’ll let it slide.” 

“Yeah, he ain’t the brightest bulb when it comes to that, but he’s great with a camera,” Tyler laughed, turning the key and the truck firing up. 

“I’m glad your music isn’t as loud as this morning,” you teased, putting your seatbelt and sunglasses on. 

“I thought no one saw,” he groaned, putting his forehead on the steering wheel. 

You laughed, “If I count as no one, then yes. No one saw.” 

“Ugh,” he groaned, leaning back and putting his cowboy hat in the middle of the dash, “No, you’re not a no one. But I was really hoping I went unnoticed.” 

“You? Unnoticed? Ha!” You said, putting your phone in the cup holder and squeezing your purse under the armrest. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, sweetheart?” He asked, looking over at you over his sunglasses. 

“You’re basically a star in all of Tornado Alley, Owens,” you stated, looking back at him, “You could walk into a Walmart and be surrounded by people, even if they didn’t like you, they would flock to you.” 

He smirked, “Can’t help people enjoy watching what I do, but they’ll never enjoy it as much as me.” 

“It’ll be a hell of a way to go,” you said, crossing your legs and looking out the window, “Headlines stating Tornado Alley’s biggest Tornado Wrangler got out wrangled in his last tornadeo!” 

“Ouch,” he said, putting the truck in reverse and heading west of town. 

“You’ll be fine,” you said, rolling the window down. 

“You better hope so, otherwise you get to drive back,” he said, “And it’s a two-hour drive to where we’re going.” 

“Which is where? Do I need to inform my next of kin where they’ll find my body?” You joked, glancing over at him. 

“What?” He laughed, “You will be fine, I’ll keep you safe like my life depends on it.” 

“Good, because it does,” you said, looking over your sunglasses to watch his eyebrows go up, “My team is pretty protective of me.” 

He swallowed hard, “I know…” 

“Why don’t we listen to the radio?” you asked, turning the dial to hear the start of  The Dixie Chicks singing ‘Cowboy Take Me Away.’ 

This is where you had to decide how comfortable you were going to be with Tyler as this was the song you sang that won you the high school talent show. As you were debating on it, you noticed Tyler tapping the steering wheel along to the drums, at least you knew his taste in music was the same as yours.

As if it was planned, you both started to hum along softly before it got to the chorus. 

“Oh, it sounds good to me,” you sang softly, grabbing his hat and placing it on your head, “I said, cowboy, take me away.” 

Tyler glanced over at you, a smile coming to his face as he heard you sing. He’s heard a lot of great artists over his years of listening to music and seeing live performances, but none compared to the melody coming out of you. On top of that, putting his hat on while being in his truck? He fell even more head over heels for you, knowing deep down he was to do everything in his power to spend his life with you. 

“I wanna look at the horizon, and not see a building standing tall,” you sang softly, adjusting in your seat to put your boots on the dash, “I wanna be the only one for miles and miles, except for maybe you and your simple smile.” 

As he drove he pictured just that, the idea of having a little slice of Heaven with you sounded so peaceful. All too soon the song ended and moved onto one he could sing along to, even though he knew you could too. 

“Little place is a little bit understated, yeah, the O.J. 's always concentrated,” he sang, rolling his window down, “The AC’s broke so we gotta sleep naked, it’s a good day for livin’.” 

“Since when can this cowboy sing?” You asked, looking over at him while swaying your feet to the beat of Joe Nichols’ ‘Good Day for Living.’ 

“Since I was little, how about you Miss American Idol?” He asked, “You’d be America’s next big star, bigger than Lainey Wilson.” 

“Haha, I’ve tried back home,” you said, playing with the hem of your shirt, “Didn’t get me very far so I came up here and started storm chasing.” 

“Have you ever thought about going to Nashville?” He asked, knowing he would hate if you left, but he wanted you to live your dreams. 

“No, if I did grow into anything, I wanted to do it organically. Not the cookie-cutter molds that usually come out of Nashville,” you scoffed slightly. 

“Oh, you seem like you’ve had a bad experience with it?” He asked, his tone being hushed as he didn’t want to bring up any bad feelings. 

“I didn’t personally but one of my uncles tried and was told to do the opposite of what he was doing to become a star,” you said, “It is what it is, but I vowed I would never do it that way.” 

“Understandable, darlin’,” he said, leaning back into his seat and driving with his left hand. 

It was silent in the cab for about a half hour of the drive, just listening to music and feeling the warm breeze on your skin. You glanced over at the clock on the radio, it reading 10:26 am. You had been driving for an hour since leaving the diner, and you still had no idea where you were headed. You weren’t sure what all there was to do in Oklahoma besides chase storms or a rodeo. While you were thinking over all the things you could figure out to do in the state, your phone ringing pulled you from your thoughts.

Asher was calling you. As much as you appreciated him being a part of Storm Riders, he followed you around like a lost puppy and did everything you told him to do. If you told him to jump into the Grand Canyon, he would. 

You picked up your phone, answering “This is (Y/n).”

“(Y/N)! What am I supposed to do on a day off? I’ve already gone through the whole checklist you made for me when it’s a clear day, but now I’m stuck sitting in the van waiting,” he said, “Everyone went to the big town close by to go shopping and sightseeing.” 

“Why don’t you take the drone out and fly around the area, see if you can find some wildlife, and get some cool pictures of nature, Ash,” you said, bringing your hand to your forehead and rubbing circles gently. 

“Where are you even? Your truck is here, but you’re not. You weren’t even here when we all got up,” he said, you could hear the shuffling of papers and a door opening. 

“I went out with someone,” you stated plainly, “Go fly the drone, and if you get bored call Willow or Jade. I’m going to be unavailable for the rest of the day.” 

“O-Okay,” he said and hung up. 

You sighed, “I love that kid but he needs to grow more independent.” 

Tyler laughed, shaking his head, “Send him with us for a while and he’ll learn quick.” 

“Really?” You asked a little too quickly. 

“I’ll let Ben ride with you so he can get better shots of Ol Red here and the team shooting more fireworks into a ‘nado,” he said, smirking. 

“Only you, Tyler,” you laughed, leaning onto the armrest and laying your hand over the edge. 

Tyler glanced over and decided it was now or never. He took a deeper breath and grabbed your hand with his, giving it a soft squeeze. Why this caused you to jump, you’ll never know, but it did.

Want more? Here's Chapter Five!

[snuffedcat]

Requested by anon! I lost the ask somehow?? But hopefully I remember it correctly.. “adult sapphic fem, hyper fixated on nature / space”? It was something along those lines! Thank you Anon for your request!! :D this is right up my valley, and hopefully it’s up to expectations.

︵ ₊ Name :: Nova , Nebula , Lyra , Solara , Juno , Mercury , Willow , Fern , Cedar , Ivy , Ember , abyss , altair , astra , comette , knox , stella , stardust , jupiter , skye , pluto , milkyway, verta, clover, honey, oak , cedar , river , fawn

︵ ₊ pronouns :: she/zir/em/faer/space/planet/universe/nebula/star/shine/heat/void/cosmo/nova/astro/supernova/glow/abyss/antenna/scurry/fossil/dino/alien/spaceships/ufo/moon/ring/🌍/🌙/🪐/👽/bug/beetle/moth/deer/faun/doe/wild/leave/rain/dawn/garden/florence/flora/grass/moss/nature

︵ ₊ terms :: prn who shines in the night, prn of stars, the cosmos, bathed in the glow, dancing through saturn's rings. the star gazer, shooting star, the orbiter, prn who comes from the woods, prn who sings with birds

︵ ₊ genders :: all of the following have feminine twist to them! Stariverusa, lumicattic, lavendercosmic, multivercous, universpacic, rainynightgender, stargrapegender, spacecatdoggender, moongender, starmarked, fidgetcubic, snowstarthing, swirllstaremojigender, lumigender, consentellunyx, nocturlance, earthic, stormcomifc, purplestaric, galaxic, bloomgirl, sungirl, sproutgender, stonerthing, stargirl, biolumistarric, vinegender, pillbuggender, froggender, leafdripsoundic, foremizzlen, goblincoric, genderuttumna, dandedappline, foreststaric, forestcoric, naturegender, plantgender, floragender, komorebian, floradeeric, forestgender, naturebodiment, mossgender, naturecomfic, dreamgender, rainsleepic, hangingstaric, shakergender, rainydream,

︵ ₊ Presentation :: fem presenting. Presents as adult, snail, and alien.

︵ ₊ cisIDs :: Snail, ADHD, writer, artist, painter, harmless, kind

︵ ₊ transIDs :: autismseverity (worse), fully non-human, wheelchair user, forearm crutches user, service dog, biology researcher, biology major, Asian, time traveler, astronaut, alien, minus weight, cryptic, cryptozoologist, historian, warmbodytemp, transsummer, leafshaped pupil, planet shaped pupil, childhood, drooling, college grad, DPD, Schizotypal

︵ ₊ otherIDs :: tris autism, permahydrated, permacozy, perma living in forest, permaharmless, permaunharmed, permaadult, permaessa, sapphic

︵ ₊ ageID :: perma27

︵ ₊ physical age :: 27

︵ ₊ age requirements :: treat as adult

︵ ₊ species ID :: snail, alien, beetle, cryptic

︵ ₊ physical species :: snail, human

︵ ₊ disorders / MUDs :: DPD, Schizotypal, MAA, GDS, CNSD, has a condition similar to GDS but with nature, adhd, autism

︵ ₊ symptoms that stand out :: Very hyperactive and manic when it becomes nighttime- will often try to stay awake only at night, misses big events in life due to space/nature, has a delusion that one of her stuffies is her child, has delusion that her ESSA talks to her

︵ ₊ paras :: 🍯🐾⚾️🧵 📚🌱🌧️

︵ ₊ functions :: interest holder, happiness holder, obliviousness holder, academic productivity

︵ ₊ sources :: N/A

︵ ₊ kins :: willow from TOH, shelly from DW

︵ ₊ aesthetics :: goblincore, cottagecore, aliennature, twillightcore, art academia, art nouveau, bloomcore, fantasy astronomy, green academia, whimsigothic

︵ ₊ likes :: all things Space, all things Nature, books, painting, earths history, bugs, journaling, learning

︵ ₊ dislikes :: ppl who are mean to bugs, debates, loud noises, misinformation, beef jerky, ham

︵ ₊ music :: crane wives, the oh hellos, the amazing devil, comso sheldrake, the paper kites, hozier, florence + the machine. folk music

︵ ₊ boundaries :: no loud noises, do not talk negative about interest, no reality checking unless trusted, be careful with touch, dont correct her during rants

︵ ₊ notable traits :: she is very bad at understanding social situations, cares deeply about those around her but sometimes cant express it right, often has a flat tone of voice

︵ ₊ appearance :: darker skin with freckles, long green hair that's commonly put up into a ponytail/pigtails/braid/two braids, snail like antennas, snail shell backpack, dresses in earthy clothes with a gothic twist, sometimes dresses whimsigoth

︵ ₊ typing quirks :: h🌿ll🪐 h🪐w are 🌱🪐u?

e=🌿 y= 🌱 o= 🪐

︵ ₊ hex codes :: 9b7ba7 84a77b 3e423d dcc3e7 719593

︵ ₊ sign offs :: 🍃⛅️🏞️🌱🌿 🧺🐌🚀🪐🌕🌑☄️🛸

︵ ₊ other notes :: she's overall a very sweet and caring gal!!

[faggy-thing]

Might I request a phone background?

Specifically something akin to planet/space/alienkin? I would like the theme to heavily revolve around planets (ex. Jupiter and Mars!) With orangey/red tones. Or spaceships!

I am also Vulcankin, so any themes of the culture is definitely welcome but not required (I did not see anything against fictional species kins but feel free to ignore this if it is a problem?)

I do not have any specific symbols I want but I am fine with the alterhuman symbol!

I have never requested anything like this before so I apologize if this is long winded!! I am not picky so honestly go wild, do what feels right.

here you go, I hope you enjoy! mars and jupiter may not be my favourite planets, but they’re still very nice :)

[fisheatingorca]

If you were to live in captivity, what facilities would you be happy to live at versus not?

I don't know a whole lot about facilities that aren't SeaWorld! From what I've seen, though, other facilities I'd be okay with living at (as an orca) are Chimelong Spaceship (for their large, advanced enclosures. I'm not a big fan of the fact that most, if not all of their whales were wild caught) and Port of Nagoya Public Aquarium.

Mundo Marino, Miami Seaquarium, Kobe Suma, Sealand of the Pacific (it has been shut down for ages, but i still would never want to be there) are facilities I definitely wouldn't want to be at.

I wouldn't particularly want to live at Kamagawa Sea World because I've heard bad things, but I do appreciate the strong bond and trust between the trainers and orcas there. I am kinda neutral on Loro Parque because I've heard there were issues with the diets of the whales there that caused deaths, but I think that's been fixed and other than that I'm not aware of any big issues.

Now I'm also kinda certain I'm a bottlenose dolphin kin/animalheart so that really broadens the choices lol. Really any AZA/AMMPA accredited facility would be fine by me. I'd still prefer SeaWorld, but I also think Shedd Aquarium, Clearwater Marine Aquarium, Dolphin Quest, Dolphin and the Research Center would be excellent places to live.

That's all, thank you for the ask! Again just a wanted to say I don't know everything about these facilities, I am not a professional, and these are just my own opinions and feelings

[tommys-kin-hell]

aaa hihi!1!! Could I get an ID pack for an alien kin?? thanks ^^ — 🪐

NAMES:

Martin

Cosmo

Ursa

Nebula

Stelle

PRONOUNS:

sta/star/stars

space/spaceship/spaceships

alien/aliens

so/lar/solarself

unknown/unknowns

TITLES:

The Martian

[prn] In A Spaceship

The Unknown One

The Extraterrestrial

[prn] Among The Stars

Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy!

[fandoms-in-law]

Why do these future machines have bioogical scans of the companions?

Like seriously why when Amy is on the Spaceship UK or Ruby in the latest episode they get scanned and the information is just there.

With Amy's episode I reasoned it was like checking paperwork, but no, she didn't put details in, it scanned her instead.

Ruby, we can't even expect there's any way for this AI to have access to historical records from generations back.

I mean I guess there's the testimony thing from the twelth doctors final episode but in that case why? Why share these historical records with future medical equipment or voting systems?

I do not believe these systems should know anything about these women, no voting information, citizenship, baptism status, nothing.

Also why oh why would Amy or Ruby trust the information they have is accurate? So far as they know it's been centuries since they lived and historical records get worn out, accidentaly changed and whatever. Even if there was information for Amy's marital status or Ruby's next of kin I would not believe it at all.

[asbestos4president]

Hamuel Burger and the American Dream episode 8 transcript

Title: FRACTURE THAT BANJO!

Ham 8 (Fracture that Banjo)

Asbestos

What's up, Asbestosheads? Welcome to another stream! Today is the day I'm taking Ham and his fun little harmonica buddy back to Idaho so they may resume their lives of boredom and safety. I am trying to avoid incidents during the trip, so today's stream is going to be a wholesome and calming five hours of me reacting to animal videos. There will be cooing. There will be awwwing. There will be many exclamations of "look at its little earsies!" and "I've never seen a guinea pig I wanted to eat more in my entire life!" I expect you all to be on your best behaviour until Hamuel and co. are nestled back in their cosy beds, after which we shall resume our japery and hijinks with more than the usual aplomb. 

Chat

This is a speedrun, and you're losing.

Asbestos

Haven't you heard the old earth fable of the tortoise with hair? There was a tortoise with really nice hair. He won every race he was in because his opponents kept tripping over his glorious golden locks. I am the tortoise in this metaphor. Understood? Now I am going to cue up the first animal video. It's called "kitten's lovely birthday party".

[dying screams]

Aww! So cute!

Ham

Hey, Asbestos, we haven't fueled up once in this whole trip. Do you think we're running low? It might be good to stop at a petrol station.

Asbestos

Haven't you noticed this room is just a little bit smaller than it was when we first set out? That's because the ship gets the energy to fly by slowly eating itself. You thought I rented a meatship for the aesthetic? Well, I did! But the fuel thing was a bonus. 

Ham

That doesn't seem super practical in the long term.

Asbestos

Yeah, this thing sucks. Can't even have peanut butter inside because it hates the flavor. You should have seen my old spaceship. She was a beauty, but I lost her in the chess divorce. 

Ham

The what?

Asbestos

Next animal video! This one is called "puppy playdate"!

[further screaming]

Adorable!

(this goes on for a while. ad lib some exclamations of cuteness.)

Hamuel

Asbestos, is it normal for the ship to be so angry? I was trying to get something from the back of a cupboard but the shelf grew teeth and snapped at me.

Asbestos

Oh, come on. I gave it its slop (we're the slop, by the way), so what's it got to be cranky about? Wait, I remember! It hasn't had its smoke break. Now, be a good potato and feed it this bucket of cigarettes, will you? Any mouth will do.

Ham

Is that, like….

Asbestos

It's perfectly normal and healthy! Stop judging my spaceship parenting. This next clip is called, "cannibalistic starfish tear each other limb from limb - you won't believe what happens next!"

[adorable meowing]

Oh, that's horrifying.

Ham

Asbestos?

Asbestos

What is it this time?

Ham

I think we have a flat tire.

Asbestos

(pissed)

The ship doesn't even have wheels!

Ham

Um. What I meant was, Stanley feels travel sick and if you don't stop the ship, he's going to throw up everywhere.

[cheerful harmonica]

Asbestos

Well, he sounds just fine. If you don't actually need anything, quit interrupting my stream! Kids these days. Can you chill out and read a book or something? You can read, right? The ship contains an assortment of my favourite Earth Literature. Are you familiar with The Very Hungry Caterpillar, perchance? I find it to be the most profound artwork your pitiful species has managed to engineer. That caterpillar understands me on some core fundamental level, you know? Like, deep down, I just want to eat five oranges and go to bed. I daresay I kin him, Hamuel! I kin him devoutly!

Ham

What does that word mean?

Asbestos

What? Caterpillar? It's some kind of lizard. Oh, he already left. Alright, where was I?

[bzzzzzzzt]

Hey, what happened to the lights? Chat? Chat, can you hear me? I can't see you! Chat! Oh, my beautiful chat… I never appreciated you like you deserved! Mind you, you never appreciated me either. Guess we're even. Attention, crew! This is your captain speaking. We appear to be experiencing a temporary power outage. 

Ham

How do you know it's temporary?

Asbestos (offended)

Um, my powers told me!

Ham

You have powers?!

Asbestos

Yeah, the power of a sunny disposition and an optimistic outlook! Okay, chat, I mean crew, don't panic. I have reason to believe humans discovered electricity only last July, and you got along very well without it for centuries. Now, confess to sabotaging the ship, and you'll get away with the light sentence of decapitation! It's light because your body will weigh less without your head. Stanley! Where were you at the time of the murder?

[harmonica]

Ham

He was using his blender.

Asbestos

To do what?

Ham

Blend things.

Asbestos

What kind of things?

[harmonica]

Ham

He says it was a piece of performance art in which the medium itself was inseparable from the intended message. Therefore, perhaps the focus of your analysis should be the very action of blending. What does it mean to blend, or to be blended? How does presenting his artwork in the form of a blender's blending impact the way you interpret its meaning? Are we perhaps missing the forest for the trees here, or should I say, missing the whirling blades for the wet gloop? He was blending rocks.

Asbestos

And why was the defendant blending rocks, Hamthony?

[harmonica]

Ham

Uh, he says it was for funsies, your honour. He also suggests that your intense questioning is but a distraction tactic and wishes to hear your alibi for the incident. 

Asbestos

I was streaming, obviously!

Ham

Do you have any witnesses to back up your statement?

Asbestos

Yeah, all my viewers!

Ham

And are these viewers in the room with us right now?

Asbestos

No, because-

[harmonica]

Ham

I agree, Stanley, that is suspicious. Hey, what's that noise?

Asbestos

The rumbling? Oh, that's just the ship digesting something. Funny, it usually only sounds like that when it's had a tough meal. You know, like the time I fed it a bulldozer to see what would happen. Gooooooood times. Not for the guy in the bulldozer, but you can't make everybody happy.

Ham

Does its digestion usually sound like bagpipes, horse hooves and… Is that jousting? I know what this is! Oh my gosh, I never thought I'd get this chance! Asbestos, it's a Ren Faire! A noble gathering of artists, musicians and actors from across the globe, all united in the pursuit of just one thing - to re-enact the good ol' days before plumbing and pasteurisation! Of course, I'm too old and sensible for such things, but Stanley really wants to go! His mum never let him visit one before. She said I- I mean he- was enough of a fool already without getting into jester cosplay. Pleeeeeeeeease can we go?

Asbestos

Absolutely not. You're fragile cargo and I've made it my singular life purpose to deliver you home in one piece. Think of me as a cool yet responsible older brother figure. If you eat all your vegetables, I'll give you a sock for good behaviour. 

Ham

Please please please please please? There might be axe throwing! That definitely seems like the kind of thing you'd be into. 

Asbestos

Hell yes! I mean, hell no. Hell maybe? No, no, hell certainly not. As your current guardian, I'm pretty sure my main job is to keep you away from axes as much as possible. On the other hand… What is that beautiful smell?

Ham

Smells like hotdogs. 

[Star Spangled Banner starts playing]

Asbestos

Hotdogs?! The national hound of the planet earth? Change of plans. We're stopping immediately. What about white picket fences? Are they selling those, too? Do you think Dolly Parton will be there? Is she gonna be wearing a cowboy hat? I've been kind of underwhelmed by my earth visit so far, but it seems I'm finally going to experience some real American culture! Oh man oh man oh man! I hope they play America the Beautiful!

Ren Faire Employee

Hear ye, hear ye! Come one, come all to the state's fifty-third annual renaissance faire! We have jousting, axe-throwing, face-painting, vegetable justice…

Asbestos

Justice? I'm looking for some justice! Someone sabotaged my ship this morning, and I fear it may have been the work of an imposter of suspicious nature, perhaps hiding in the ventilation system. Will your vegetables help me identify this culprit?

Ren Faire Employee

So you'd like to volunteer for vegetable justice? How noble! Just put on these goggles and get in the stocks.

Asbestos

Well, if that's the way humans do justice, it can't be helped! Okay, I'm in. Now what? 

Ren Faire Employee

Oh, you don't have to do anything. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

Asbestos

You are the only sensible person I've met on this entire trip! 

[splat]

Ow! 

What the hell? 

[splat]

Ow! 

[splat]

Ow! 

Hey, somebody get me out of here! They're raining tomatoes upon my honourable visage! Ham! Ham! Hamuel Albert Peculiar Burger! You free me this instant, young man!

#####

Ham

I guess it's just you and me now, Stanley. At the ren faire. This is good! We're on, like, a best friend date. For best friends. Who are comfortable enough with their masculinity to eat period inaccurate candy floss and braid flowers into each others' hair and hold hands and live for each other and die for each other and take turns bathing in each other's blood!

[Harmonica]

Ham 

(Disappointed)

Or we could get our faces painted. That's okay, too! Wait. I just saw something unfathomably beautiful. Excuse me! Excuse me! I like your banjo! And your, uh, costume, too! The horns look super real!

Devil

Why, thank you kindly! And what are you dressed as, young man? A humble peasant boy? How delightful! I love all the authentic details like the hole in your hat.

Ham

The what? Oh, haha, yeah. That's how the light gets in, y'know? Listen, I couldn't help but notice the mother of pearl inlay in your peghead! I've never seen such a beautiful banjo in all my years!

Devil

All your twelve years, huh? It's a pleasure to meet a fellow banjo enthusiast, especially one so young. Do you play at all?

Ham

I'm not tw- it doesn't matter. Yes, I play a little! I left my banjo at home though. Ugh, I know. How can I be truly dedicated to the banjo if I don't carry it with me at all times? Sooo embarrassing. We just left in a bit of a hurry, you see, and-

Devil

You could play mine.

Ham

Oh, could I? No, I couldn't possibly. But could I, though? Nay, nay, I mustn't think it. I am but a humble farmboy, while this banjo is the instrument of a true master, one who has honed their craft into a point so sharp that the lightest pluck of the strings would send a thousand needles into the spine of any hapless pedestrian so lucky as to find themself within earshot! It's quite out of the question for me to even touch the thing. I really, really want to touch it, though. No! Must… Resist… Banjo!

Devil

Please just take it.

Ham

I can't! My hands are unclean! Metaphorically speaking. I wash them plenty. I mean, if a lowly amateur such as myself were to hold a banjo of such incalculable power, surely I would taint it in some way. Alas, for I can only dream of the day I become worthy to even look upon such an instrument.

Devil

Take the fucking banjo!

Ham

Yes, boss!

Devil

There. Now, I suppose you think you're a better banjo player than me. Is that right, farmboy?

Ham

Of course not! I would never seek to presume-

Devil

Say you're better than me! Say it!

Ham

Um, I'm- I'm better than you?

Devil

Perfect. Now, I'd like to make a deal-

Ham

Better than you at not being as good as you are at playing the banjo! Got 'em. Wait. Did that make sense?

Devil

Can you shut up?

Ham

M-hm.

Devil 

As I was saying, I'd like to make a deal. You may be a bigshot banjo berserker where you come from, but I'll bet you this here banjo I play better than you.

Ham

(quizzical)

Mnff?

Devil

I'm glad you asked, son. Only your soul! What, when's the last time you used the thing, anyway? Can't eat with it, can't hear with it, can't breathe with it, can't do much more with it than to polish it up and parade it around. You're better off without one, trust me. Now, play!

Ham

[banjo tuning]

Sorry. I'm nervous. Ahem:

[banjo]

Asbestos

Hey everyone! Sorry for the stream outage earlier, I'm not sure what happened there. Right now, I'm trying to escape from these wooden stocks and get my revenge upon the pockmarked peasants pelting my personage with pestilent produce! In a minute, though. I've actually discovered-

No, idiot, aim it higher! Higher!

(muffled, as though eating)

Thank you.

(Swallows)

I've actually discovered that tomatoes are pretty tasty, so I'm gonna stay here for a while.

Chat

Hamuel is losing a banjo contest to the devil.

Asbestos

That's not my problem. Wait, yes it is. Shit.

Ham

[further banjo]

Devil

That was certainly original, Sir Hamuel of Burger. Maybe with training, you could become more than just an overconfident amateur! Too bad you're never going to get that training, though.

Ham

Yep. Too bad.

Devil

No, you're supposed to ask me why it's too bad!

Ham

Alright! Why is it too bad?

Devil

Because I'm going to take your soul! Mwahahahahahahaaaaa!

[thunder crash sfx]

Now, listen to this!

[shitty banjo]

Ham

(tears in his eyes)

That… Was so beautiful…

Asbestos

Unhand that boy's soul right now, you varmint!

Actual Biblical Devil

Well, well, well, well, well. If it isn't Asbestos Sputnik Margaret Le Guin, destroyer of planets and loser at chess.

Asbestos

God, who is it this time? My disapproving great aunt Beatrice? My arch nemesis Oedipa Orwell in a dashing red coat and unconvincing moustache?

Devil

My moustache is supremely convincing!

Asbestos

Sure, sweetie. Now take it off and we can get down to business. The whole look is unbecoming of a presidential candidate.

Devil

One, the moustache is real! I had it verified by a justice of the peace and everything! Two, presidential candidate? I mean, I'd never thought of it before, but now that you bring it up, I might have to give the idea some consideration.

Ham

They're only LARPing, Asbestos! You can't kill them!

Asbestos

LARPing? God, how am I supposed to keep up with all this newfangled lingo the kids are spouting? Laughing At Rasputin's Pantaloons? Lost! A Red Possum? Let All Rats Party? Losers all Run Podcasts? Gimme a hint here. 

Devil

You're sadly mistaken, folks. I am not LARPING. I'm only the actual biblical devil. In fact, here's my driver's license!

Ham

"The Actual Biblical Devil". Huh!

Asbestos

Oh, come on. This is an audio-only medium! That card could say anything and we wouldn't be able to tell!

Ham

What?

Devil

What?

Asbestos

What?

Ham

Listen, Asbestos. This can't be the devil. How could the devil ever be able to make a banjo sing so eloquently?

Devil

I'm afraid that's because the banjo is the devil's own instrument, little farmboy. I made it myself because I felt the guitar wasn't upsetting enough.

Ham (offended)

Upsetting?

Devil

Perhaps that isn't the word for it. Rancorous?

Ham

Rancorous? Asbestos, are you hearing this disrespect?!

Asbestos

Y'know, I was gonna change my middle name to Rancorous, but I could never figure out how it's spelled.

Ham

R-A-N-K-O-R-I-S. Can you focus? This devil is tarnishing the good name of the banjo, and if you won't do something about it, I will! Hear me, satan! I challenge ye to a joust! If you win, you get my soul… But if I win, you have to admit the banjo is the world's greatest instrument!

Asbestos

Jousting? No, no, no, I'm pretty sure delivering you back to Idaho will become utterly meaningless if you get yourself killed first.

Ham

But what about honour and chivalry, valiance and courage? What about beautiful men on beautiful horses, taking off their helmets after a long battle to wipe the sweat from their brows and shake out their flowing (yet masculine) hair? What about protecting the dignity of the noble banjo? Please, Asbestos? I've always wanted to be in a joust!

Asbestos

As your currently serving parent-or-guardian, I forbid it! Even though it's the only cool thing you've wanted to do this whole adventure! Goddammit. Parenting is hard.

Ham

You're even not my real dad!

Asbestos

And isn't that a relief. Look, Actual Biblical Devil, can you help me out? Tell small potatoes over here that he's being an idiot. 

Devil

Alright, kid. Let's joust, and if I win, I get your soul! Although you're not going to get very far if you haven't got a horse.

Ham

Ye gads, the devil is right! I must acquire a noble steed posthaste. Tally ho!

E8 CREDITS

Ren Faire Employee

You gotta decide on a design, kid, I don't have all day.

[harmonica]

No, I don't think I can recreate Landscape with the Fall of Icarus in facepaint on your cheek. What the fuck is even that? Wait, let me be PG thirteen. What the blood is that? Is that PG thirteen? I have no idea. Do you have anything more beginner-friendly shit- I mean things?

[harmonica]

A photo-realistic painting of Bulk Hummus under your left eye? Who even is that? That's not a real name.

[harmonica]

That's the voice of Asbestos Le Guin in some obscure audiodrama? Oh, boy. Teens these days.

[harmonica]

Listen, buddy, I can do a butterfly or I can do a tiger. You have to pick one, I cannot do both.

[harmonica]

I am not gonna paint Spikes Parker-Bennett (voice of Ham), Maze (voice of the actual biblical devil) or Gem, (voice of me just now) either! None of those are actual people!

[harmonica]

Okay, you know what? I'm sick of this. You want facepaint, kid? You can do it yourself.

[harmonica]

Okay, yeah, the butterfly can be purple if you want that. Stay still. This is gonna be a little bit cold.

[kirbyofthestars]

having kin/therian friends rips. pals with a fox and an angel and a spaceship and the bearer of the cursed amulet etc.

[dragonflyxparodies]

no question just would like to say that AFAU regularly consumes my soul and I am obsessed with it. I very specifically kin this version of bloom. i cannot wait to see what you come up with next and wish you luck with your irl endeavors!

-an audhd-er deep in the throughs of a hyperfixation on this au for like the fourth time

ACTUALLY YES A QUESTION: is there any other random kinda irrelevant lore that you can share?

Awwww thank you so much!! I'm so glad you enjoy the series so much <3 <3 <3 <3

Bahaha most of what I want to talk about is going to be very relevant very quickly B U T -

The Ancestral Coven did not create the Whisperian Crystals.

There are all sorts of magical ruins and treasures forgotten and hidden around the magical dimension. Treasure hunting + archeology are pretty frowned upon, generally - planets look outward rather than inward, to the present rather than the past. This means all the magical dimension's aspiring Indiana Joneses are individuals or small privately-run groups, usually working on their own homeworld/planet and nowhere else. This also means that the truly great ruins in the magic dimension - ancient ships and structures floating around off-planets - are considered so taboo that very little is known about them. If anyone has explored them, they haven't returned.

Life on Zenith is so distinctly technological/artificial because of a near-extinction event involving one of those alien spaceships. The people who survived cannibalized it for parts...and used it to repair the very planet it had collided with. This integrated the alien technology and resources with Zenith itself, and laid the foundation for Mother's sentience and assertiveness. Zenith is Mother, but Mother is not Zenith.

Deep Space is mostly unexplored.

I've always conceptualized the magical dimension as, more or less, a single galaxy. Our story is compressed into it, because damn there's a lot going on there and shit. This does not mean it is the only magical dimension/galaxy/etc that exists.

[the-transcribed-scrolls-of-baihe]

Hello! Can we get a caretaker for our littles? We'd prefer a Bajoran (Star Trek) but if you can't/don't want to that's fine and you can pick from one of your many scrolls list if you prefer! Creator's choice! Our only biggie is we'd rather not have them be human as said littles don't trust them.

The Scrolls speak of great people.

This Scroll Speaks of Adami.

Firstly, however…

Doe who wrote scrolls, Bai He, wishes for you to read does following message:

‘I actually had a scroll that would’ve worked perfectly but I wanted to put in extra effort. That being said, all of my knowledge of Bajorans come from their wiki article so sorry if anything’s inaccurate.’

Name: Krim Adami.

Age: 27.

Pronouns: She/her, ang/angel, star/stars, galax/galaxy, xe/xir, cloud/clouds.

Gender: Cis female, aliengender, galaticgender, seraphaeic.

Role(s): Caretaker, comforter, companion.

Personality: comforting, calm, reliable, parental, honest, sweet, loyal, stubborn, dedicated, hard working, open minded, truthful, a bit awkward, trying her best.

Appearance and Apparel: A… fem-presenting bajoran with short, dark brown hair and slightly purplish blue eyes... wearing a white blouse with a shirt collar over a purplish blue bow, long purplish blue skirt, white calf-high socks, black mary janes, a d’ja pagh, and a purplish blue hair bow.

Kins: angel, star, stardust, ball-jointed doll.

Dialect:  permanently soft tone, steady(ish) way of speaking, rhythmic in a way, very relaxing voice.

Hobbies: doll making, wood carving, singing, dancing, looking after kids, art, reading.

Appreciates: soft things, stars, stargazing, toys, pastels, children’s books, sweets.

Abhors: rudeness, inaction, judgmentalness.

Two Images:

| Adami is a very hard person to anger, mostly because if something upsets her she’ll just do the rational thing and ignore it. Ang will only ever really step in if ang thinks it might hurt someone. Stars not rebellious but does value stars freedom, so try to avoid making star feel trapped either physically or in a decision. 

Adami only ever really fronts to accompany littles. Otherwise, galax might front around kids.

Internally, xir part of the headspace is a simple spaceship with fluffy clouds that one can sit on floating around and inside of it. Cloud’s usually there or wherever the kids are.

Bai he has left the following message about “conceptualization”, feel free to skip:

‘So I did a bit of research on Bajoran names so it’s important to note I wrote Amdami’s name [family name] [given name] as done by Bajorans. It’s kinda up to you whetehrs she’s religous and what ear she wears her d’ja pagh on. Hopefully you guys don’t have any religious trauma that might be aggravated by the angel pronouns, if you do I’d recommend changing them sky themed pronouns but that’s just a suggestion.  Just a general reminder headmates may not turn out exactly like the pack and that’s okay! I also appreciate reblogs and headmates from my packs reaching out but both of those 100% optional!’