#speech struggles

[zebulontheplanet]

I think as an AAC user, I get jealous. I get jealous of those who can chose to use it or don’t use it (I have the choice to not use it, but then I just won’t communicate). I use AAC basically full time in public, and use it sorta at home. I prefer mouth words at home but I usually use It throughout the day.

I know this is probably horrible, but I can’t help but feel jealous of those who don’t need it to just get words out. For their mouth to work. It’s hard to be someone that feels like they have a brain and mouth disconnect. To have words that won’t come out so you HAD to get AAC.

I don’t know, I just feel very jealous of those who don’t constantly struggle with words. Who don’t stutter over their words, who are able to get their words out, who aren’t declining in speech. My speech just continues to get worse and it’s hard to go through that. It’s all just hard.

[meltedmush]

Airplaneeee! + Extra Art!

[cerealbishh]

"Hey, we found you."

"I guess you did!"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???

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[mayhaps-a-blog]

OK so the thing is

The path to the Dark Side isn't just kriffing up. You don't just go "whoops!" one day and start murdering people for fun. You make decisions. You make choices. And when those choices go bad... instead of standing up and admitting your mistakes, you double down.

Sol's Fall perfectly hits the beats that I think many people lose track of with Anakin - his first Fall wasn't with Palpatine in Revenge of the Sith, but with the Tuskens in Attack of the Clones. Anakin goes from sobbing in Padme's arms that he killed the women, and the children too - he killed them all - to screaming that they were monsters and they deserved it. Instead of facing his mistakes - the lives that he took in anger, in rage - he insisted that you know what, he was right to do that. He did the right thing. He's glad he did it. And he'll do it again.

Sol kriffed up. He was too emotional on Brendok - Indara called him out on it, and she was right. The witches DID love their children, he DID get the wrong end of the stick, and however weird they were and worrisome the bits they saw with the kids were, the answer to that is to find out more information or, I don't know, wait one kriffing day, not charge in, lightsabers drawn.

(I don't blame Torbin, really. He was also totally out of balance, but he was the Padawan learner - the student who needed guidance, not the Master supposed to deliver it. Mother Aniseya had gotten into his head and thrown him for a loop, and Indara needed to sit on him a bit more - but if she'd been on a speeder instead of Sol, I think things would have worked out very differently.)

Instead it was Sol, who dragged Torbin into a dangerous situation without thinking of the consequences - without even considering that he might be wrong.

Honestly, I'm not even sure I blame him for swinging at Mother Aniseya. Mae had said some pretty worrisome things and was literally dissolving into midair. I blame Sol for being there in the first place, where he had no place, and for putting everyone on edge so far that Mother Aniseya felt the need to move to protect her children, and he felt the need to retaliate unthinkingly.

And then. And then.

Hard to say if Indara did the right thing. She was thinking about Osha, and I don't think she was necessarily wrong. She gave Osha a chance to have the life she dreamed of, a chance she would never have had otherwise.

But Sol.

Sol should never have taken Osha as his Padawan. He was too close; the hurt was too painful to hide. He couldn't tell Osha the truth, so he buried it, papered it over with justifications and excuses - he'd done it for Osha. For the girls. To keep them safe. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do. He did it for Osha. And that gave him the means to look Osha in the eyes and smile, and pretend everything was fine.

But of course, he couldn't let her go, either. He'd done it all for her - he couldn't fail her now. Couldn't admit that he'd failed her. He had to make this right - (but it was right already it was it was) - but the closer he bound them together, the harder it was to let go of his attachment to her. After all, if he told her now... what if she hated him?

Sol loved Osha too much from the very beginning. He couldn't let go of his attachment to her: to his idea that he could save her, could train her, to be the master he wanted to be for her. He couldn't face his own failures, so he refused to see them; insisted that they were correct, right, justified, to the last. And in the end, that's what poisoned Osha - and himself.

He was afraid. Afraid for her; afraid for himself. And his fear led to anger - at the Master, at himself. And his fear led to anger - Osha's, at him, for papering over his fears with lies, lies to her. And anger led to hatred. And hatred? Led to suffering.

No one walked away from Brendok without suffering. Not Osha; not Mae. Maybe Qimir; maybe not. But definitely not Sol.

Sol had to make a choice. And he made one. But he didn't just make one choice; he made many choices, over and over again. And no matter what excuses he gave, what justifications, he could never bring himself to admit that maybe, just maybe, he'd made the wrong choices.

Sol's lightsaber may not have been red. But I think, if he'd finished that swing on Khofar? It might not have been all that far from it.

[strangeauthor]

man it sucks living in a red state sometimes. those "contact your reps" shit over stuff like kosa or some shit dont mean anything when u do contact them cause they're like "hey we heard what you said and we're going to ignore you and your wishes. so glad to represent you!" -_-

[sirtadcooper]

Well, most people when don't understand something, they frown. You smile.

make me choose | @ontargetmadders asked: Clara or Bill? :)

[dazzelmethat]

I had a vision of Gas Station Jack but a horror manga. Gave me reason to practice writing some kanji.

[absurdumsid]

slowly getting sick of the horror.... speaks.. like this.... dialogue im shoving that onto dust now

[legacyofthedamneddsaf]

What happened between you two and Harry?

[zebulontheplanet]

hi, question about your experience with regression if it is okay (not forcing)

you mentioned that speech gets worse/harder with no discernible reason. was wondering if when speech got worse, did it happen consistently? i have had a lot of things i worry might be regression but there is not much info i can find. with speech, it has overall gotten harder (at all times) and i feel like it is declining in general but i also have episodes where it is a lot worse and later returns to what it was before (before episode not before speech started getting worse).

i am wondering if you had anything like this. if not don't worry that's ok!! just curious

your blog is very helpful thank you very much have a nice day :]

/genuine question /not forcing

Hey! Thank you for the ask. For me, my speech has consistently gotten worse, however I do feel like I’ve had episodes where my speech is worse some days and better other days, however I do also believe I have an undiagnosed speech disorder that makes this the case aswell. The difference is that even on my good days I still struggle with speech.

Regression is complicated, and different for each person from my understanding. The big thing about regression is just as it sounds, you’re regressing in a skill(s). I’d also talk with your doctor if you’re able too, regression with autism can happen, but it’s best to check that something else isn’t happening just to be safe.

But yes, for me speech has overall gotten harder and I’m now very very inconsistent with my speech and struggle a lot. It’s been hard accepting it since I was fairly verbal before and it just continues to get worse for me.

I hope this all helps! Thank you for the ask.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

Conner and bizarro finally meet

on a random lonely day in the Kansas country side, Conner is rocking in a rocking chair reading a book lex got him. it's a big fat comic collection about this guy who works with the FDA for some reason and he's honestly just enthralled. there's a whoosh sound and suddenly Jason and bizarro appear, Jason has his arm over the shoulder of bizarro as he waves over to Conner. Conner is pretty confused who the other guy is.

Conner: hi Jason, who's with you?

Jason: oh this is bizarro, he's kind of my son.

Conner: since when?

Jason: since ages, lex basically was going to kill him but we accidentally broke him out of his containment. long story short he's here he's my son.

bizarro: *waves* bye! I'm bizarro

Conner: hi bizarro

Jason: don't mind him he's words are a bit backwards, something about the programming didn't quite work. all negative verbs and such are positives and all positives are negatives. we are working on it right buddy?

bizarro: I'm resting on it!

Jason: speech therapy is hard, he's perfectly normal he just has some mixed up brain functions. lex actually managed to reverse alot of the degenerative disease problems, so you know bizarro is just struggling with a few things. he's doing way better than before though right buddy?

bizarro: I'm not fine, I'm doing bad! red is doing a bad job

Jason: aw, thanks. I try, we really have to work on the negative verbs, but it's fine we can try again later. anyway I wanted you to meet your brother bizarro!

Conner: *holds out hand* nice to meet you bizarro, what do you like to do?

bizarro: I hate… reading books and watching movies, it’s not fun.

Conner: oh! I love reading books, I have some if you want one.

bizarro: I’m not interested, I hate reading. No thanks!

Conner: wait here I’ll go get one!

Conner runs into the house to go grab some books, he didn’t really know he had a brother but this was kinda cool. Even if it came out of nowhere.

Conner: I have.. Julia Gillard’s cookbook, pride and prejudice, moby dick, and.. bionicules? Honestly I don’t think I’ll read them again so you can have them, my gift!

Bizarro looks at Conner and smiles, he takes the books and starts reading them on the floor of the patio.

Jason: I know I should have called you, but we never have the chance to meet up.

Conner: it’s fine, honestly. I was just reading some comics, been a long week. Just wanted to soak up some sun, since Lex was nagging me about it.

Jason: Lex??

Conner: oh I didn’t tell you, yeah we are kinda trying to fix things between us. I think it has something to do with the whole kryptonite induced cancer, thing. He surprisingly actually does not mean any harm to me, it's so weird.

Jason: damn, even Lex of all people is trying to mend his relationships. Never thought I’d see the day.

Conner: oh it was weird, he came up to the house and actually apologised to me. Lex. APOLOGISED

Jason: NO WAY, I don’t believe you *crosses arms*

Connor: I wish I had it on tape, but no he did. It was so weird, then he told me he actually was pregnant with me.

Jason: wait… *murmurs* when would that have been.

Conner: oh a couple years ago as I’m about 4-5 now.

Jason: oh yeah he did basically disappear for a whole year one year, kinda thought he had some sort of horrible injury or assassin on his tail. Didn’t really think he was having you?

Connor: honestly I would not know, because again didn’t exist yet.

Jason: that’s actually around the time bizarro was made actually, well a year or 2 beforehand.

Connor: yeah makes sense, wait. bizarro is older than me?

bizarro: I'm younger than other superman.

Connor: true I do think your older than me, does lex keep saying anything about dissolving DNA to you guys?

Jason: on yeah that's what originally happened to biz over here, right buddy?

bizarro: me DNA re- reconsti- reconstituted.

Connor: oh damn, that most be why he is motherhen'ing so bad. "you really should be checking for it every 2 weeks" as lex says to me fortnightly now. ugh annoying.

Jason: really? guess I'll take his advice that does unironically sound like a good idea. Connor, well this has been nice. but we have to go or we are going to miss family dinner. see ya

Connor: honestly nice that you dropped by, nice to meet you bizarro!

bizarro: hi other superman!

Connor: you can call me Kon if you like

bizarro: hi Kon!

Connor: see you both enjoy the books! I'm sure bizarro will enjoy them

Jason: oh totally pride and prejudice is my favourite, I was looking for a copy for biz actually it's a wonderful gift, nice seeing you! see you next time for the space pirates?

Connor: always, those fucking space pirates though

bizarro: I love space pirates, they are the best

Connor: lol you're so right, bye guys!!

bizarro + Jason: bye!!!!

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[kaqzu]

I give myself, body and soul, to the carnage that is to come!

[dovesick]

(the end is near) “they don’t deserve them! take a look around you. this society is a disease & they are the vectors: mindless drones with happy memories. they’ve never suffered! they’ve never felt pain like i have! they won’t miss their memories, they’re just as useless with or without”

carys prepares for attack as the creature in front of her grows larger. its grin distorts as it grabs the boundaries of reality & steps out. she knows she cannot let it leave for the sake of the world. 

[wayward-wren]

I usually find myself rolling my eyes at feminist speeches in TV shows, but there was something about watching Sarah Jane adamantly say "there's nothing only about being a girl!" with my 10 year old sister that made me so proud

[daily-hanamura]