#star wars jedi fallen order oneshot

[yiminsuu]

Discombobulated

(adj.) emotionally confused or uncertain.

Pairing: Cal Kestis x F!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (+18), violence and blood, angst and fluff, low self-esteem and depression, jealous reader, Cere and Merrin know what’s going on, virginity loss, vaginal fingering, implied smut.

Author’s Note: It’s because of this game that I like Star Wars, and it’s also the first thing I wanted to write since I finished it. If the creators wanted to hype Merrin x Cal, I have to admit it is cute but kinda rushed. 

I always make decisions like this.

Decisions that put me in danger, and the day-- or more like the week started pretty great, until the Nightsister came aboard. It's not that I hate her, she's nice and makes attempts to indulge in conversations and understand humans. I thought Merrin would be a good member given that she is powerful and not easily stressed in mission, but the moment she came... The moment Cal introduced her... I noticed it. I noticed everything.

He's with her every single second, minute, and hour of the day. When Cal came back from his missions she would be the first to welcome him back, with a hug that felt so awkward between the two of them. I sensed it without having to ask, I just needed to watch them. I don't blame Cal, she's bewitching in all the right senses... Except when she tried to kill us. The reason I felt so distraught is that Cal wasn't this attentive to me when we met, and suddenly he's so fascinated by Merrin that I feel... Left aside, or downright ignored by the people I call family. Why am I feeling so awful?

"Is everything alright?" I glanced at Merrin and flashed her a small smile, she didn't believe it and we both know that. "Yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled back.

Little by little, I stopped asking for any aid, I didn't want to partake in the team's conversations and refused to go on more exploring with Cal. I closed myself in my room for many days, only getting out to look for food that Cere leaves for me, I didn't want to see anyone. The Jedi knocks on the door many times a day, but I ignored it, I don't want him to see me in this horrendous state. He pleaded for me to let him in, and promised that whatever was bothering me would only stay between us, I almost opened the door for him, almost... But I stepped back, and he left.

I have no idea why I'm doing this, I just know how horrible I feel when I see them, I can't even stare into Cal's eyes without feeling like someone deserving punishment. I need this sensation to vanish completely, so I set myself ready to go out early the next day, and clear my mind if only for a moment. Of course, I'm not a stealth expert. "Where are you going at this hour, (Y/N)? And alone, you can't go--" I interrupted Cere immediately. "Please Cere, I need to walk, to breathe, to be alone and think of what's happening... I don't plan on bothering you anymore."

Cere crossed her arms after she gave out a gentle sigh, her eyes fixated on me like a worried mother. "You aren't a bother." She started, and for a brief moment, I felt the desperation in her voice. "It's been four days since I've seen your face, and I want to stop you from going... But I won't. (Y/N), when you come back, speak with Cal."

I looked down. "I'll-- I'll see what I can do..."

"Be careful out there." With that, I nodded and ran out of the Mantis.

And this is how I got myself into this mess, with the simple decision of running around alone on an unexplored planet. In a temple in which I just found out my father died many years ago, blood flowed down my cheek and arm as the Inquisitor lays dead under my body, with stab wounds created by my twin swords. If my hands weren't shaking, I would've slashed the body of the bastard several times more for the killing of my father. My pupils shrunk at the merciless thoughts and fell back, away from the inquisitor and the damned red color splattered all over his clothes. "Shit... Shit... Shit..." I whimpered without shame.

The cascade decorating the insides of the temple cleaned the blood off my swords, leaving a sense of tranquility in my chest. I refuse to see this as a victory, no matter how hard I defended myself I ended up killing someone when in the past I always knocked them unconscious. I remember when Cal praised me for my compassion with such an admirable look, my heart fluttered, and millions of butterflies invaded my stomach. I forced myself out of the flashback, cleaned most of the blood from my clothes, and made my way back to the Mantis. This time, I eliminated every Stormtrooper in sight.

I wasn't even close to the vessel when Cal and I crossed paths, he had this expression of gladness that quickly changed to shock when his eyes landed on the dead soldiers. "Are you okay?!" He immediately asked, running to me and staring at the blood which BD analyzed upon setting sight on me. "You are bleeding--"

"It's not mine." I spoke, and poor BD sounded preoccupied. Cal shut his mouth as he looked me in the eyes, which I avoided staring at for long. "What happened? You don't... You don't do this, (Y/N)." The Jedi questioned.

"A trap. It was the only way to get out." It wasn't a lie, I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten out alive if I didn't use violence. "(Y/N)..." He reached out to me but I took a step back. "Cal, please don't..." I walked away and left him behind, but he soon followed to the Mantis, not saying a word.

When I set foot onto the vessel, I was greeted by Cere with a disappointed look and Greez standing behind with interest in what I will say as an excuse. For how long was I gone?

The former Jedi's mouth opened to say something, but every sound that this space has vanished, there was only a void and my heartbeat accelerated. I killed without mercy, Cere and Greez are upset, Cal looked sorrowful beyond belief, and Merrin... The Nightsister embraced me, it took me a while to realize that, and I cried and sobbed in her robes without holding back. "It's okay..." She muttered.

"I know..." I lied.

"Yet you keep crying." I gave up on trying to lie, perhaps all I needed was to speak out, reach someone, accept someone, and trust that their care for me is real. I let out a very small giggle at Merrin's attempt to make me laugh, no wonder Cal likes her.

Hours later, following a warm bath, the chilling night kept me awake and thinking about everything that happened today, I didn't have any other option but to tell them about my father and the Inquisitor. Cal seemed tense after hearing my rambling, and if Cere hadn't stopped him he would've probably 'give 'em hell again', Merrin's words. There was a knock on the door and I let in whoever was outside, Cal walked in and quietly sat on the bed, slightly worrying me. "I'm sorry." He muttered. "I should have been there for you and I'm sorry I wasn't, I thought you wanted distance and I ended up letting you get hurt."

"This is not your fault." I sat beside him and let him continue. "It is, (Y/N)! I wasn't protecting you and I swore to myself I always would! I left you alone!" I didn't expect this from Cal, I understand every person has weaknesses and flaws but seeing him so insecure saddens me. "Cal, it was my choice to go out, we didn't know this would happen..."

"Perhaps, but if I hadn't looked away for a second you wouldn't have raised your swords. You didn't need to go through that hell, not alone, not... Not against an Inquisitor..." I furrowed my brows and took his hand into mine, entwining our fingers slowly but softly. "Thank you for being here... That's the only thing I want. I will be okay..."

"You trust me that much...?" I smiled softly at that and felt him move closer, his grip on my hand getting tighter. "Why wouldn't I, Cal?" We looked at each other and my smile disappeared when his green eyes glanced at my lips. He... D-Doesn't he... What about--?

Cal's lips shut my capacity to think, he's so gentle as he touches me, and kisses me over, and over and over again. When his breath whispers across the nape of my neck, filled with constrained want, my eyes close with a shiver. "W-Wait!" I half-shouted, and the Jedi stopped at once, he looked surprised at the state I was in, the state he put me in. "What about Merrin??"

"What?" He was astonished at my question. Cal then chuckled, the motherfucker chuckled as I was embarrassed for no reason at all, just being like this with him is enough for me to feel everything at the same time. "Now I understand why you avoided us." He said, and I looked away and whimpered when he let out a small laugh. "She-- Well, she was interested in my behavior around you... Merrin interrogates me about how I try a little too hard to make you laugh, the way I stare at you when you're not looking..." Widening my eyes at his confession, I recollect our moments together since we met. "You always want me out of danger, no matter how harmless it can be... Cal, were you the one that placed that chocolate under my pillow when I had my period?"

"I wanted you to feel better..." Cal scratched his head nervously and I felt my cheeks burning up, I placed a hand on his cheek and joined our lips together, slowly, the sensation of pleasure and desire grew. We needed friction, both of us need more, Cal and I need each other. The Jedi lays me on the bed and a hand slips lower, dipping up the underside of my nightgown, trailing his fingertips so delicately against the bare skin of my leg. It is obvious that both of us are inexperienced, but Cal explores, and a voice in the back of my head tells me he won't be going anywhere until he reaches deep inside my soul. Hot breath soothes my skin as his fingers stop close to my undergarments. "Your skin feels so tender against my fingers..." If there was ever resistance on my behalf, I let it fall, head falling back on the pillow.

Parting my legs, his hands slip the cloth away, and seeks out the burning warmth of my cunt. He stares into my eyes as his fingertip traces the soaked line of my slit, watching every reaction, hearing every whimper and moan. He's slow, afraid to hurt me but unable to stop. I mewl when I notice his bulge, how ready and eager he must be for me, and only me. "C-Cal..." Then he pushes his digit deep inside, making me shiver and slightly hiss in discomfort. "I'm here, I won't hurt you... Please (Y/N), bear with me..." My Jedi is so sweet to me.

Cal continues experimenting with my body as he pleases, up to the point of sliding three fingers inside me, my bottom lip wobbled, tears stinging my eyes as he worked his fingers against my walls. He poked something inside that made me feel like I was gonna die. He was a little too excited, and a small cry had him by surprise, looking at me in concern and mouth parting to apologize, I hid my mouth in my hands. "D-Don't stop...!" A breath of relief left the Jedi as he gently reached up to move my hands from my face, kissing me passionately. "As you wish, my princess."

Cal was already working his fingers again, faster this time, my juices were coating him, wet and slightly sticky as he paced himself. My eyes closed as he worked his momentum back up, short and ragged breaths falling off my lips. A whimper escaped me as his fingertips brushed up against that sensitive spot he touched earlier, my hands tightly wrapping around the sheets of the mattress. I was close, squeezing him tightly as he stared down at me.

My eyes widened and I let out a rather loud moan as I felt pressure on my clit, but his free hand is holding me in place by the waist, I can't believe he was using the force on me. "I knew you'd like that." Fuck, Cal!

The power the force is putting on me felt unnatural, and my breath wavered as I groaned out his name. "You're beautiful, (Y/N)..."

He coaxed me into a high that left me shaking, breathless, and tightly clamping down around his digits. The soft noises I was making filled the room for as long as the orgasm lingered, and he withdrew his hand, a small noise of protest leaving me. "Did you like it...?" I nodded and pushed him down to meet my lips. Cal's kisses are full of passion, not once taking his hands off me even if his life depended on it, unfortunately, we had to let breathe. He stood between my legs staring at the entirety of me, and as I glance up at Cal between tears of pleasure, I see him full flushed to his ears, his gorgeous, red hair disheveled, and his bulge leaking precum through his pants.

I chuckled heartily. "Let's take care of you, Cal."

[testedtransgressor]

A/N: Wrote this a little over a year ago (I think) and despite it only being one chapter/part (so far), it's had a fair amount of positive attention. Also, I'm a sucker for those "what if the good guys lose?" sort of scenarios. Been ages since I've posted here so I don't know which tags to use, feel free to recommend others.

Set in the final part of Jedi: Fallen Order, during the confrontation on Nur.

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

They weren’t going to escape this. Cal looked around desperately, an idea forming quickly. With a hand outstretched, he used the Force to push one of the windows violently, shattering it. Water flooded into the hallway, and Cal took the opportunity to grab Cere and hurl both of them through the broken window. He could see Vader struggling to hold back the rush of water, and the broken window was quickly covered over by a sheet of durasteel, stopping the flooding.

He was kicking, dragging Cere with him, and shoved the rebreather into her mouth as he looked up. The surface wasn't too far, light still filtering down to them, but he could already feel his muscles aching, and the wound in his side made it all the harder to keep moving. As he glanced back down at the fortress, now a murky shadow in the water, he sensed rather than saw—

Water swirling around legs, alarms sounding, a gloved hand reaching out as the two figures faded into the water, hand outstretched as if to grasp—

Cal felt a pressure at his throat suddenly, slight but growing quickly. His lungs were burning as he kicked for the surface, but his legs weren't moving as powerfully now, and Cere felt like a weight that was pulling him down. The pressure around his throat tightened, and he gasped, feeling water rush into his mouth, down his constricted throat, and now there was a weight in his lungs as he struggled against that pressure, struggling to breathe despite the water filling his chest. Cere slipped from his grasp as his hands went for his throat, which was now so tight he couldn't breathe. He struggled, kicking feebly, choking and drowning all in one as darkness swelled up from below to claim him...

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

Greez didn't like it one bit, the way this witch was messing with things. He was anxious, waiting to see any signs of life on the scanners as he hovered above the water. Cere… Cere was gone. Cal had said so, so it must be true. He had to get Cal, though. That was the most important thing right now. Get Cal, and then get out of there.

Merrin shifted suddenly, rising from her seat and moving quickly towards the ramp. Greez looked around as she did.

“Hey, wait—”

She didn’t say a word as she charged out of the ship, diving off the ramp and into the water. Even as she did, he saw movement on the scanner – tech signatures, crafts moving through the water below. Greez felt his heart stuttering as he began to flip switches, preparing for a fight as he lowered the ship as close to the water as he dared. The exterior cams showed as the water lapped at the bottom of the ramp, but there was no other movement, and every passing second felt like a century as Greez watched the cams, watched the scanners, waited for the inevitable blast that would probably sink him from the sky, and he realised he was holding his breath only when his lungs began to ache for air, but Merrin was still gone—

Two figures broke the surface, and Greez exclaimed a wordless cry of relief as he saw Merrin draw the unconscious figure up with her. But something was wrong – he had expected to see Cal’s shock of red hair, but instead he was seeing Cere’s dark locks. Cere was alive? His relief dulled again as he realised Cere wasn’t moving. Merrin dragged her back up the ramp, scrambling gracelessly, breathlessly, leaving Cere on the floor just inside the doorway while she hurried back to the front of the ship.

"We must leave," she told Greez, "There were patrols sweeping the water. I will perform the ritual again, to give us cover."

"But Cal—”

Greez saw the look she gave him, and his heart sank. No, kid, no.

He sighed heavily, letting his grief flood him for a moment, before he returned to the present. They might have lost Cal, but they could at least escape with their lives.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-×-

The steady, rhythmic hum of machinery was the first thing that returned to his attention. The second was the sensation of wide bands of pressure on his arms, chest, and legs. The monotone voice of a medical droid was audible nearby, explaining a diagnosis to someone else, but the sound seemed warped, twisted and distant, muffled at first as his senses started to return to life.

His fractured mind tried to piece things back together. Bogano, Dathomir, temples and tombs, an AT-AT, younglings... Something about younglings...

A mechanical breathing sound, slow and rhythmic, drawing closer, each step like a weight on his chest as he was surrounded by liquid, throat closing, lungs filling with water, darkness reaching out in the form of a gloved hand...

Cal was wrenched back to reality with a soft cry, a gasp of breath, and brilliant light painfully flooded his vision. He could feel the tightness of the bands, could feel them holding him upright on a slab of metal. As his sight recovered from the sudden explosion of light, he felt fear rising within him, building into a wall of terror that threatened to drown him. Sharp, straight lines came into his vision, machinery making itself out against the white walls of the space.

It took him a few minutes to realise he was in a medical room. A window opposite his position gave him a view of a horribly familiar-looking corridor beyond, Mechanical sounds, muted and low, came from somewhere to his right, and even as he strained to see the source the droid came into view.

"Greetings," the smooth, androgynous voice came from a fixed orator, two small lights illuminating briefly as indicators that it was speaking. "I am KJ-46, medical service and assistant droid. Your symptoms indicate you were recently subjected to a severe inhalation of high-viscosity fluid which resulted in a loss of consciousness. You are being treated for these symptoms, and will experience muscular weakness and fatigue for some time as a result."

It sure was informative. Cal closed his eyes, trying to clear his head.

"You have also sustained physical injury from a plasma weapon, which has punctured your left ribcage and left the bone structure damaged."

That explained the pain in his ribs, then. Cal opened his eyes, looking at the medical droid as it scanned portions of his body, the axial beam of light emitting from the photoreceptor sliding over his limbs, chest, face...

"Where am I?" He asked, surprised at how faint his voice sounded even to himself. He regretted asking almost immediately, though, because there was another voice, another person who answered in a horribly familiar, deep mechanical voice. The answer was so spine-chilling, Cal wished he were dead.

"You are in the Fortress Inquisitorius."

[stardustandash]

Guess who started another Jedi Survivor fic? I had a moment after finishing Down the Line by @breakfastteatime (highly recommend btw) and seeing the absolutely adorable art of Cal on Master Tapal’s shoulders by @skynapple and now I’m just spiralling on Cal’s relationships with each Master he encounters.

[aspentreewrites]

Cal stared ahead as the others bantered, a wave of nausea washing over him. He felt that if he tensed his jaw any further, it might snap.

They were going to be using escape pods.

(A re-write of a short Jedi: Survivor cutscene that caused me pain. Spoilers minimal)

[gffa]

THE HIGH REPUBLIC CHECKLIST: If you want to consume these in order, I really like Youtini's High Republic Reading Order list for being extremely comprehensive and solidly updated for Phase III+ or the more middle-ground comprehensive High Republic guide from starwars.com or Wookieepedia generally does a good job putting things in individual release order. This post is just a checklist of what's available and not quite a reflection of read order. (Which I generally suggest following release order, not chronological order, given that you're often meant to know/not know certain things.) Possibly missing a short story here or there, but assume the novels are in read order for each given phase and that it's a useful list for remembering what you have/haven't read yet!

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Light of the Jedi

The High Republic: A Test of Courage

The High Republic: Into the Dark

The High Republic: The Rising Storm

The High Republic: Race To Crashpoint Tower

The High Republic: Out Of The Shadows

The High Republic: Mission to Disaster

The High Republic: The Fallen Star

The High Republic: Midnight Horizon

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: Path of Deceit

The High Republic: Convergence

The High Republic: Quest for the Hidden City

The High Republic: Cataclysm

The High Republic: Quest for Planet X

The High Republic: Path of Vengeance

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: The Eye of Darkness

The High Republic: Escape From Valo [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Defy The Storm [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Temptation of the Force [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Beware the Nameless [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Tears of the Nameless [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Trials of the Jedi [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: A Valiant Vow [UPCOMING]

The High Republic: Into the Light [UPCOMING]

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE I:

The High Republic (2021) - 15 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2021) - 13 issues

The High Republic: The Monster of Temple Peak - 4 issues

The High Republic: The Edge Of Balance - 2 manga volumes

The High Republic: Trail of Shadows - 5 issues

The High Republic: Eye of the Storm - 2 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: The Blade - 4 issues

The High Republic (2022) - 10 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2021) - 8 issues

The High Republic: Edge of Balance: Precedent - 1 manga volume

The High Republic Adventures: The Nameless Terror - 4 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: Shadows of Starlight - 4 issues

The High Republic (2023) - 2 issues [ONGOING]

The High Republic (2022) - 1 issue [ONGOING]

The High Republic Adventures – Saber for Hire 4 issues [UPCOMING]

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Tempest Runner

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: The Battle of Jedha

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE I:

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #6 - "The Gaze Electric"

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2021

The High Republic Adventures Annual 2021

The High Republic Adventures: Galactic Bake-Off Spectacular

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #14 - "A Very Nihil Interlude"

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2023

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE II:

The High Republic Adventures: Quest of the Jedi

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE III:

The High Republic Adventures: Crash Landing [UPCOMING]

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE I:

Star Wars: The High Republic: Starlight - Anthology of Insider short stories. [Includes "Go Together", "First Duty", "Hidden Danger", "Past Mistakes", and "Shadows Remain"]

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE II:

Star Wars Insider: The High Republic: Tales of Enlightenment - Anthology of Insider short stories. [Includes "New Prospects", "A Different Perspective", "The Unusual Suspect", "No Such Thing as a Bad Customer", "Last Orders", "Missing Pieces", and author interviews.]

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - ALL PHASES:

The High Republic: Tales of Light and Life [Includes "The Queen's Bloom", "A Closed Fist Has No Claws", "Shield of the Jedi", "The Lonely Traveler is Home", "After the Fall", "The Force Provides", "All Jedi Walk Their Own Path", "Light in the Darkness", "The Call of Coruscant", and "Rogue Element"]

[coruscantjedi]

wrote my first merrin & cal oneshot!! some friends wanted a part 2 so i'm cooking that now!! i hope someone enjoys ^__^<3

- 5.2k, M rating

[ask-the-almighty-google]

Finally got around to making concept art of what I imagine my Ashla!Obi and Bogan!Ani look like in my oneshot AU fics…

Asha!Obi

Bogan!Ani

Fun Facts:

Anakin’s wings are based off of traditional dragon style wings, but particularly Spyro style wings. They are leathery, and the texture of his skin is somewhat leathery and rough as well even if it is the typical skin tone Anakin displays in Star Wars media; for this reason he cannot grow hair anywhere except the top of his head. It is dotted with smoldering freckles. When he gets angry, molten fissures can crack open the skin and connect the dots like fault lines between volcanoes.

The circuitry on Anakin’s lost arm is left exposed without a glove or synthflesh. He always loses his arm, one way or another and not necessarily by Dooku’s hand.

Anakin wears a simple vest with long, large slits that leave space for his wings to slip through, and they have magnetic fasteners underneath the wing joints on the back. The colors are greys, navy, and black.

Obi-Wan wears simple tunics made to mimic traditional Jedi robes. The colors are creams and whites.

Obi-Wan’s skin is unnaturally smooth and extremely lightly freckled to match the spotting on his feathers. This makes it somewhat glossy, and because of the texture he cannot grow hair anywhere aside from the very top of his head.

Obi-Wan’s wings are modeled after that of the Shyyyo Bird found on Kashyyyk, as seen in Jedi: Fallen Order. This makes them have bird feathering on the meat of the joints and long translucent feathers that look like dragonfly wings elsewhere.

[capricornus-rex]

Hey isk if you are taking requests right now, but I’ll shoot my shot anyway : Can I request an imagine with Cal Kestis where the reader is also a Jedi who’s feeling down/sad (for whatever reason you feel like) and Cal feels it through the force and helps her feel better?? Loads of fluff and kisses if possible, thank you I really love your writing🥺🥺💖

Hi there! Yeah, I’m taking requests right now ^-^ that’s an interesting prompt you got there. Coincidentally, I was starting a fic that seem to have blended well with your request ;) I hope you enjoy this fic, hun! And thank you, you’re very kind 🥺🥺💖

“Bad Dreams Don’t Come True”

Cal Kestis x Reader

Masterlist

The chirping of the crickets hidden amongst the tall grass, the whispers of the Saava within the tree roots and niches, the snoring of the Slyyygs in their damp dens—Kashyyyk is asleep. The water trickling from the rocks and trees was enough of a lullaby to drift the partisans to sleep. However, even in the midst of peace, there is a storm brewing within.

You lie awake in bed, keeping the tossing and the turning to a minimum. Cal’s breathing kept a slow rhythm. You study his face illuminated by what little light there is in the ship’s quarters; you trace the freckles that riddled his cheeks and your eyes follow the scar on his nose bridge that had already blended into his skin. Slight flits of his eyelids and the little twitches the corner of his mouth made you wonder what he might be dreaming about.

You leave bed and head on to the galley for a cup of water. Contemplating on what to do with the insomnia. After one last chug of the water, you immediately went back to bed and mentally coaxed yourself to sleep.

The next morning, Cal woke up to finding your side of the bed empty. He gets up and walks to the galley.

“Good morning, Cal,” Cere greeted while pouring tea. “Have some breakfast first.”

“And [y/n]?”

Cere shot him a clueless look, “She went out early, said she needed to do something.”

“Did she now? Where?”

“Last I saw her she was just here at the landing pad.”

Cal stepped out of the Mantis but does not see you. He finds your handiwork at the west corner of the hangar instead—tools and datapads scattered on the floor. It’s a mess.

Shortly after, you arrive back to your spot in the hangar and find Cal crouched to the floor peering over your work.

“Good morning,” you simply said.

“Hey, good morning. You’re up early,”

“Yeah, fancied fixing this speeder bike I hijacked from a scout. Nothing I can’t fix though,”

He watched you tinker away with the speeder’s chassis on the table. You were so absorbed with it, but he stayed there—watching you and sometimes handing over the tools you needed but was within his reach. He knew that you were just trying to distract yourself.

“You were tossing and turning last night,” Cal finally starts the conversation.

“Sorry, I tried to be careful. I didn’t mean to wake you,”

“Bad dream?”

“It’s nothing I can’t sleep off,”

Cal nodded, he knows that he’s not going to get to you that easily. Yet he can see how upset you are, even when you’re denying it until the lie you tell yourself becomes truth. Whatever question he throws, you either segue to a different topic or just don’t answer at all.

He gave up for now. He didn’t want to upset you further and left you to your business. There were times that he still wanted his presence known such as lending you more of his tools and parts, handing you some lunch when you forgot to eat.

He may not see the whole picture of the thoughts in your mind, but he can sense your feelings—they were strong, loud, and dark. The latter worried him. There was a swirling darkness about it that he wanted to know more about, he bit his tongue, thinking that he didn’t want to further upset you by pressing into the matter.

Later that night, Cal begged you to stop for tonight. Clearly, the speeder bike needed a lot of work considering the wear and tear it had gotten over time. The chassis you worked on was a bust and you had to figure out what else it needed to get it running again.

“Come on,” Cal coaxed. “Don’t make me carry you against your will.”

“Oh I bet you’d love that,” you teased as you unzipped your jumpsuit’s top and tied the sleeves around your waist.

You got your consequence. Cal reeled you in by the waist, riddled your ticklish neck with kisses before scooping you up in his arms and marching to the Mantis. Lying down together, neither of you spoke whilst cuddling; he just glided his fingertips over your smooth skin—he reached for your thighs, traced to your arms, and then your collarbone. Ironically, his battle-scarred hands had a certain softness that relaxed you. He planted a kiss on your bare shoulder, then his lips wandered to your neck, and then a long, final one on the cheek before drifting to sleep.

You were almost too afraid to doze off. Because there will be no control from you by the time the nightmares set in—but you were exhausted.

Your eyes shot up, you gasped and woke in a cold sweat. You could have sworn you only closed your eyes for a few seconds, but it somehow felt like hours since. Massaging the bridge of your nose, you wonder if you were awake or dreaming because it still feels like real life although a little different. You find Cal missing in bed, you hear a clattering noise coming from the galley. The anxiety faded.

Oh thank God, he must be having a glass of water. You thought.

You stand up from bed and call to him again. Not a single response, not a grunt or whatever. Nonetheless, you head to the galley—only to find it empty. Your eyebrows pulled in confusion and looked around—it clearly wasn’t your little stowaway, otherwise it would have been caught red-handed. Something wasn’t right. You immediately untied and wore your jumpsuit on and then headed out of the ship.

“Cal?”

The hangar was empty, so is the hallway that led to the elevator between the hangar and forest trench. More noise came from the narrow annex on the right, you continued to follow it in the hope that it would be Cal—it was empty again, yet something in it drew you to jump down from the platform.

Something came from behind, you sensed the danger the split second your boots touched the soil below. You turned around with lightsaber already ignited and found an opening that had never been there before. A menacing figure emerged from the pitch black mouth of the cave. Whatever it was, it didn’t idle in the darkness for too long, it was eager to face you. Here comes the one you have been looking for—but not exactly in the way you wanted to.

It was Cal. His face had been distorted. The lining of his eyes were swollen red, bags were under them too, and the skin of his face had become sallow; but there was a frightening tenacity in the way he appeared before you. You sucked in air and held your arms up.

“Cal? Is it…? No…”

The only reaction that came from him was a low, throaty growl as his face wrinkled with anger—one that seems to be directed only to you.

He wielded a red lightsaber, there was rage and hate in his eyes that you couldn’t comprehend; at the same time, there was something in you that you couldn’t stop—let alone control—you dueled with this impersonator. In a second’s notice, you immediately thrusted your saber into his heart and realized it too little too late.

The look on his face was wrought with pain. He kept his mouth agape while he choked to breathe. Blood trickled from his eyes as he croaked, struggling to either speak or catch air. Every second that he tried, more blood dripped until it filled out the whites in his eyes. You retracted the saber out of him and the body fell limp at your feet—dead open eyes crying out blood as they stared back at you. The sight was utterly terrorizing. You wanted to blink, close your eyes, or avert from it but you just can’t—you’re stuck to staring at what you just did.

“Good…” a raspy, ancient voice chanted.

You spun around, searching for the source; desperate to find it, the moving has finally made you dizzy and caused you to lose your footing.

The voice easily shifts its tone. At first, it sounded somewhat benevolent, but even so it sent chills down your spine from end to end. Although it eventually turns into a croaking snarl, adding up to the fear of its invisible yet all-seeing presence looming about. Something about that voice was oddly familiar.

“He was weak, you knew from the start,”

NO! You fought.

“Your anger rewards you with great power. The Dark side of the Force favors you,” the voice snarled, emphasizing its latter words.

I SAID…

“NO!” You jolt up, found yourself in a cold sweat gasping for air with the fullness of your lungs.

You immediately jumped out of bed and walked out of the quarters, Cal felt the shuffling of the sheets and felt you leaving bed. He blinked his eyes open, saw you leave, and heard the ship door open. He got up too—he didn’t bother suiting up the top part of his jumpsuit—he simply followed you out.

He finds you sitting alone at the edge of the landing pad where he blew up an entire tank with the AT-AT he hijacked. He sat beside you and just relished the silence for a few moments.

“Nightmare?”

“Yes,”

“If it helps, you can talk to me about it,” he persisted to find your gaze as you avoided it, he shyly reached for your hand, and he fiddled with your fingers.

Oh, you sweet, clueless boy. You thought as you looked Cal in the eye while he pursed his lips in, but you couldn’t look at him for long. You look away, contemplating whether you have the strength to put the words and thought together and then say it in front of his face.

He gently cradles your cheek and turns your face to him. He brushes the hair to your ear and cups your cheeks, keeping you locked to his gaze.

“Hey, it’s okay, you can tell me,”

It didn’t take long before you decided to narrate everything from the start to the end. No detail was spared until you started to hesitate when that certain part is almost there. You sucked in air, closed your eyes, and prepared yourself for whatever reaction or comment he’ll have for you.

“Your eyes were yellow. We fought. I killed you…” you choked but attempted to finish, “And then you started crying out blood while you died in front of me—by my hand.”

The concluding part was hearing the voice that was trying to reach into you, by using the Dark side.

“Has it been getting to you often lately?”

“It’s been two days and a half now—if you count today,”

Cal’s face was blank, but the slight twitches in his lips were evident; he could only wonder what the actual picture looked like and concluded that he doesn’t want to know. That dream just burned an awful picture of Cal in your mind. He noticed your erratic fidgeting: your cracked nails were ripping out the cuticles and when that started to hurt, your knuckles were white as bone when you close your hand into a fist.

He saw the way you looked down on your mutilation with great disdain, the moonlight reflected on the tears that glazed your eyes until one teardrop fell. His finger wiped away the stain that the tear left and wrapped his arm around you, pulled you closer for an embrace, and his one hand was enough to hold both of your hands to stop you from hurting yourself.

“It’s alright now, [y/n], don’t worry,” he cooed.

You wrap your small arm around him, embracing him back. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed your fingers—wounded or not—and then planted more kisses on the palm of your hand. Later on, his attention trailed to your lips. He brushes the back of his fingers smoothly against your cheek, and then tenderly locked his lips onto yours and he rakes your hair in the sweet spots. Both of you withdrew but he followed up with a kiss on the forehead before propping his chin on your head. His other hand stroked your hair while you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I know you’ll never hurt me, [y/n], you’ve nothing to fear,” he hummed in your ear as he scooped your legs and rested them over his thighs, while he cuddled you warm and tight under the moonlight.

[klarex]

Soo... another writing for you guys!

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: A little confesion on Dathomir.

Paring: Cal Kestis x reader

"You should tell him"

Pov. Y/n

I was walking around the Dathomir and talking with Merrin.

- You should tell him..

She groaned and walked away, leaving me alone. I sighned deeply and sat down on a edge of a cliff. Then I heard footsteps towards me.

- I thought you wanted to leave me alone, Merrin..

- Oh.. I'm not Merrin, Y/n..

I quickly looked behind me, then back in front of me blushing. He slowly sat next to me.

- Is something wrong Y/n? Did I do something? Why are you ignoring me?

- No Cal... You did nothing wrong. It's just- It's nothing. Just forget about it.

I said and looked down.

- Y/n...

He said and held my hand, making me look at him.

- You know, you can tell me everything?

- Yeah.. I know but-

- If you know that then tell me.

He said and I sighned.

- Do I have to tell you?

- Yes, you do.

I groaned a little. Then it hit me.

I could kiss him. It would be better maybe..

I took a deep breath and looked at Cal. He was already looking at me. I slowly took his cheek in my hands and leaned in. He melted in my touch and leaned in too. Our lips were inches away from eachother. Then I decided to kiss him. His hands went to my waist and mine behind his neck. There was like a little fireworks show in my stomach. We broke the kiss and looked into eachother eyes.

- I love you, Cal... That was the matter...

- I love you too, Y/n. And nothing is gonna change that...

masterlist

[vansmaybeonthewall]

Mission Gone...Wrong?

welcome one and all to the entry for @moonlit-imagines​ Writing Challenge. Y’all should check her out, 5 star fics. it’s like a wonderland over there, you’ll love it

Edit: i love @moonlit-imagines​, truly the best. she gave me an extension for this and i just love her😩😂 . 

Warnings: 

Masterlist

79. “I literally don’t think I could live without you.”

106. “Are you kidding me? You’re beautiful.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nope. No. No way. Not in my life. Never.”

“Y/N, it’s just a dress.”

“You take that back Cere,” she gasped, “that thing is a monster. It’s huge, poofy, and it doesn’t have any pockets! It’s pink for crying out loud, it’s disgusting! Bleh!”

“Well I think it’s beautiful. Besides, we need you for this mission. Cal can’t show up at this gala alone.”

“Then Merrin should go. A Jedi Knight and a Nightsister are better than a Jedi Knight and an ex-Padawan.”

“Merrin would be easily set apart from the others. It’s rare to find a Nightsister off of their home planet. And Y/N, being an ex-Padawan doesn’t make any difference. You’re just as strong and brave as Cal is.”

“I beg to differ, but I’ll take the compliment.”

Cere was going to try and convince Y/N more when Cal and Greez entered the Mantis. But when the duo made eye contact with the dress, there was nothing but full blown laughter. Smart remarks and comments were shared between them, leaving Cere to stare at them unimpressed and Y/N to hate the dress even more. She snatched the dress out of Cere’s arms, grumbling about how stupid it was, and stomped back to her room. 

“This day can’t get any worse, can it?” Cere said to herself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a few hours, Y/N hiding in her room until Cere reminded her she needed to be ready for the gala. Cere had dropped off the extra accessories for Y//N’s outfit and helped with the process. She left Y/N looking beautiful, but Y/N thought otherwise.

Pink? Disgusting. Poofy? Uncomfortable. Satin gloves? Unnecessary. 

Y/N walked, more like shuffled due to the heels, towards the mirror and found someone else looking at her. She wasn’t used to these big dresses or the fancy hairstyles or the makeup that made her look oh so elegant. She knew her Master went on missions like these alone because she was younger and new to the danger of the enemy. These missions were deemed too dangerous for her. It was for the best, as her Master came back with at least a few scratches. The Padawan was hardly introduced to the true danger of the Separatists due to her shyness and fear. Y/N didn’t have the chance to grow out of it due to Order 66 being executed. Her fears worsened and darkness clouded around her when her Master was killed. But that’s a story for another time...

The sound of knocking on her door drew Y/N out of her trance. She looked up right as the door hissed and opened. Cal walked in fiddling with his tie, looking for a problem that didn’t exist. 

“Hey Y/N, Cere wanted me to tell you we’re 10 minutes away. And I figured you could help me with uhh...”

He looked up at Y/N and froze. He was speechless. She looked...perfect. Even though she didn’t like it, pink seemed to be her colour. She...

“...al? Cal? Is there something you needed?”

“Huh? Oh, uh yeah! There’s something wrong with my tie, it won’t tie right.”

“Really? Something’s wrong with the tie?” She smirked slowly walking towards him, “ I just think you don’t know how to tie a tie.”

She took over for Cal, leaving them in silence. He gazed down at her, the love clear in his eyes. 

“Are you okay? You keep staring at me?”

“What? No, no! It’s just um-”

“It’s the dress isn’t it? I knew it looked ridiculous. It’s huge, like, who needs this big of a dress?! And the heels, oh my god, why do people need their feet at an angle! It doesn’t make any sense! Especially the-”

“Are you kidding me? You’re beautiful.” 

He interrupted her rant, causing her to go silent with mouth wide open.

“I know that you think it’s a horrible colour and I know you think that the fanciness of it all is annoying, but I think you look perfect. You always have been. Even when your hair is wild and dirt smudged all over your face. You’re perfect Y/N.”

She smiled, leaning up to give him a kiss.

“Oh how I hate that you always have something to say. I love you too Kestis.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We’re looking for who again?”

“A Twi’lek and a Force user, information says they may know about the project the Empire is working on. We find them and somehow make them tell us everything.”

“And what’s your plan for somehow making them tell us everything Kestis. Not a very solid plan.”

“Well, I was thinking-”

“That’s never good.”

“As I was saying, Y/N. We could walk in together and then split ways after a few minutes. I’ll find the Twi’lek and you find the Force user.”

“Woah woah woah, we’re splitting up? And I thought you loved me. This Force user better be a girl Kestis. A female, a woman or I am going to beat your ass.”

“Okay okay, no need to get violent.”

The gala was extravagant, the definitions of elegance, grace, and beauty walking in with their dates. The smell of alcohol and laughter echoed in the castle.

“Look, Twi’lek at the bar. Go woo her Kestis, leave me behind to suffer alone.”

Cal chuckled and left her with a kiss. But she wasn’t left alone for long. A boy her age, maybe a year older approached from behind. 

“You look a little lost darling.”

Y/N turned swiftly letting out a sharp gasp, “Oh! You scared me.”

“No worries. But it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I am Nolan. Who might you be?”

“Ami-Dala, but most call me Ami.” Really Y/N? He’s going to notice.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful person. Where are you from darling?”

This is your chance Y/N, see if he knows the Twi’lek.

“I was born on Ryloth. My parents loved the people. When the time came, they started to convince the people the Republic were made of horrible people.”

“Ryloth? A great friend I know is from Ryloth. We are part of a big project for the Empire. We hope to wipe out those who still believe in the Republic. Those Rebels won’t stand a chance.”

“Wonderful! When the Rebels are destroyed, the Empire can finally have the power it deserves.”

“I knew I liked you Ami-Dala Why don’t we get a drink?”

“Umm, I don’t think-”

“Come on darling, it’s a party!”

The world started to get fuzzy after a few drinks. Stars seemed to float in her vision. Arms and legs felt numb. A voice startled Y/N from her day dream. 

“Are you alright darling?”

“Yeah, just fine,” Y/N slurred. 

“You don’t look so good Ami, why don’t we find somewhere quiet?”

Y/N could only nod. She couldn’t think straight.

“You know, Ami, it was great meeting you. But I think it would’ve been better if you weren’t a Jedi sympathizer, Y/N.”

Uh oh

Y/N tried to stop walking, but it only turned to her being dragged.

“Oh don’t stop the act now Y/N, you were doing so well! You even had Xi’ra fooled with your buddy Cal Kestis. But now that we have two Force users, our project can continue. Thank you Y/N, truly.”

“I would say otherwise.”

Cal, in all his glory, crashed Nolan’s celebration with lightsaber ignited. 

“Well well, the Jedi does what he’s good at, ruining the fun.”

“Oh, so this is where the fun begins?”

Y/N was thrown behind Nolan, fighting the sleep that was beckoning her. But she wasn’t going down just yet. 

 Red and orange blades clashed together. The light against the dark. It was only a matter of time before one lost their epic battle. 

“Why can’t you see that the Empire is doing the right thing?”

“I am not blinded by hatred like you are and I never will be.”

“But you will be. You haven’t even noticed your little girlfriend suffering from the poison I’ve slipped her.”

The cocky attitude was replaced with fear and concern for Y/N’s life. Anger was brewing. 

“Now you feel it, the power. Just imagine what you could do if you join us, if you join me.”

“Then keep dreaming you bantha fodder.” Y/N shot her blaster, hitting Nolan in the chest before promptly passing out. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“She’ll be fine Cal. Now stop your worrying and make sure she gets something to eat after she wakes.”

Cere left the room, leaving Cal to worry even more.

“What am I going to do with you Y/N?”

“I can think of a few things. Wink wink.”

“Jesus Y/N! You couldn’t wake up normally?”

“I could have, but that’s not very Y/N.” She opened her eyes and slowly sat up. 

“Why did you do it?”

“Scare you? Your screams just warm my soul.”

“No, why did you risk shooting him? He could have deflected it if he wasn’t so surprised that you were still alive. It was dangerous Y/N, you could have-”

“I could have, yet I didn’t. But at the end of the day I would have helped the Rebellion gain vital information.”

“How is it worth it when I lose you?”

“You have to understand-”

“No, you have to understand. Y/N, I literally don’t think I could live without you. Yes, you somehow find a way out, but what happens when you don’t?”

Silence. Tears had welled up in her eyes when she realized what she put Cal through. Those risky moments where she didn’t really know if she could make it back. The fear she felt underneath the adrenaline. 

“I love you Y/N, but please be careful.”

“I love you too Kestis.”

They met in an embrace, holding each other as if it was the last time they would. They stood there in silence until Cal had a pressing question. 

“Are you ever going to call me by my first name?”

“And why would I do that Cal Kestis?”

“Close enough.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------P.S. check out @moonlit-imagines​  😉

[generallynerdy]

And they’ve already began forgetting, whether they know it or not (Cal Kestis/Hera Syndulla/Kanan Jarrus)

Summary: With Vader on their tails, Cal tells Hera a hard truth. She doesn’t want to hear it, but she needs to. The only question is, will Kanan ever forgive them for this?

Warnings: Angst, Fake Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Burns, Serious Injuries, Self-Sacrifice, Goodbyes, Nightmares, Scars

Word Count: 2,343

Prompt: Angstpril Day 1 - “You have to let me go.”

Author’s Note: you know the Inquisitor!Cal concept I was ranting about? Yeah, this is the start of it lol. I saw that the first Angstpril prompt matched one of my lines of dialogue perfectly and lost my shit, so it’s basically destiny. I hope to continue this in the future as a series, but for now enjoy this terrible, depressing one-shot. :) Title is from Obituary Generator by Mariah Bosch.

Read On AO3

*

“Hera!”

She won’t stop running. Her body burns with the effort and Cal tugs her hand, trying to stop her, but she keeps going. She may not be able to feel the poison of Vader’s presence quite so literally as he and Kanan can, but she knows he’s not far away.

“They’re in the tunnel, it’s not much farther—” she manages breathlessly.

“Hera, stop!”

He stops cold, forcing her to turn and face him.

The lights flicker in the lifeless hallway, the pair the only people in sight. The floor is cold and the walls dark, the choking colour scheme of an Imperial fortress. Cal feels it more than she does; the Force here is entirely dark and threatens to drown him each passing moment. Maybe that’s why he’s more winded than his Twi’lek companion, or maybe it’s the lightsaber wound across his chest.

Hera had managed to save him from dying at Vader’s blade, but that scar will always remain. It burns into his skin like shame.

“If Vader catches up,” Cal gasps out, breath heaving, “he’ll kill all of us.”

“He won’t if we keep going,” she says sharply, ever sure of herself. “C’mon—”

He pulls her back before she can keep walking. “Hera.” It’s firm and fearful enough to keep her still. “I can distract him.”

BD-1, on the floor next to his feet, wails in distress.

Her eyes widen. “No. No! No, absolutely not—”

“I’m a liability,” he argues, unable to even gesture to his injury without wincing at the pull. “He can’t get his hands on the holocron. If you run ahead, you can get it to Kanan and Cere and the three of you can get the hell out of here.”

“He will kill you!” She grabs his poncho and holds him close. “Or worse, turn you into an Inquisitor!”

Cal cradles her face, his eyes shining with desperation. “My life for thousands,” he whispers. “Like my Masters before me.”

“I can’t let you do this, Cal.”

Already, she’s crying. He’s a stubborn son of a bitch and they both know it. The decision might have already been made, considering the ache she already feels in her chest. It’s not her choice and yet she feels guilt rise like nausea.

He reveals the Holocron, pressing it into her shaking hands. “Bring it to Cere. Protect it with your lives or destroy it,” he orders. “Give those kids the chance me and Kanan never got.”

The chance to live. He thinks of Master Jaro, of Master Depa, Grey, and Styles. He thinks of his fellow Padawans, all cut down in the name of power. But most of all he thinks of the children listed in that Holocron, who have committed a crime all their lives without ever knowing it.

BD whirrs and it pulls in Cal’s chest. He gives a sad smile, crouching to the little droid’s height.

“Go with Hera, buddy, okay? She’ll take care of you.” He pets BD’s head, trying to ignore the whines he makes. After a moment, he looks back up at Hera. “I’ll hold him back as long as I can.”

A sob lodges itself in Hera’s throat. “Kanan will never forgive you.”

It’s supposed to be a joke, but Cal shuts his eyes tight, pained by the thought as he stands again.

“And you will?” he asks with a rueful huff of laughter.

She puts a gentle hand on his cheek, caressing a scar that rests there. “I already have,” she murmurs.

He shuts his eyes again, that same grimace on his face as he rests his forehead against hers. Then, he kisses her. It’s gentle and drawn out, a lingering sensation against her salty lips. She takes it with an aching sort of grief, the pit of a forbidden knowledge heavy in her stomach. No one should know when their last interaction with someone is, but she does.

“That was for you,” Cal says when he pulls back.

He kisses her again, fiercely this time. It has a message, one she doesn’t understand.

“That was for Kanan.”

He’ll understand it, even if she never will.

Hera hugs him, burying her face in his shoulder as his hand rests on her back. One of her lekku twists around his wrist, as if reminding her of his steadily beating pulse.

Alarms begin to roar around them, a warning.

“Hera.” It’s gentle at first, but he must sense something because desperation catches in his voice. “You have to let me go. Let go. Hera, let go.”

He pries her off, taking her hands in his gloved ones. Though it’s ridiculous, he wishes that an Echo of hers would spark to life and give him one last memory to think of. Instead, he’s left wiping away the remnant of a tear from her cheek. He steps back after, pulling his lightsaber off his belt.

Hera swallows. “Cal, I—”

I love you.

She can’t say it. And she curses herself for it.

They’ve never needed words, but it would mean everything to hear it out loud, just once. Just once, she begs her own unmoving lips.

He smiles, knowing and sad and all the more infuriating. “Me, too,” he whispers.

Not too far away now, another lightsaber buzzes to life.

“Go,” he says finally, his face sharpening into something like determination. “Get out of here!”

She nods and tucks the holocron away into her jacket, allowing BD to hop onto her shoulder. Her first steps are in lead boots, but finally, she manages to shake herself out of her stupor and turn away, running toward the exit. It takes everything in her not to look back, not to seek out one last glimpse of that fiery red hair and the twin pair of yellow blades that snap and hiss as they activate. BD watches, though, a little light blinking on the side of his head. He chirps, almost like a goodbye, but Cal never hears it.

Opposite Cal, the shadow of the galaxy’s golden age looms. He brandishes his blood-red blade, bathed in red and yellow light. His rasping breaths haunt the air.

Though it burns more than anything Cal has ever felt before, he twirls his double-bladed lightsaber, letting its golden light wash over him, secure in the knowledge that his fate is his own.

Finally, the ghost speaks.

“Your attempts are admirable, but useless. You and your friends will fall at my hand. There is no escape.”

“Does it look like I’m running?” Cal asks, settling into a fighting stance. “Musty bitch.”

*

Hera flies up from bed, her throat burning like she’s been screaming.

A jerk away from the cold metal wall of her bunk sends her over the edge of it, right toward the floor. She has half a second to close her eyes and brace herself for the impact, but—

It never comes.

She opens her eyes, only to find the floor a few inches away. A green mist encompasses her body, holding her up and keeping her safe. Glancing at the door of her room, she sees Merrin in the doorway, her fingers smoking with that same green mist.

“You should think about installing railings,” the Nightsister says dryly.

Hera only huffs and tenses when she starts to move. With a wave of Merrin’s pale hand, she’s standing upright and is let down carefully. She steadies herself with a deep breath, unaware of the little droid at her friend’s heels.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, dusting herself off. Then, she glances up. “How did you know I was—?”

“I didn’t. Cere asked me to check on you. Lucky for your face.”

If Hera didn’t know her any better, it would be sharp, but unfortunately, she does. So, she snorts. “Lucky for the floor.”

She goes to stretch, her muscles sore with sleep. Instead, she stops abruptly, wincing when her lekku tingles. Lifting a hand to its end, she doesn’t notice the flash of concern on Merrin’s face until she speaks again.

“Alright?”

“Fine, just slept on it funny. It’s numb,” she admits with a rueful laugh.

Raising an eyebrow, Merrin wiggles her fingers, miming magick. “I can help,” she suggests.

Hera visibly hesitates. “...you can?”

Nightsister magicks tend to be dark, according to Kanan and, once upon a time, Cal, but that doesn’t mean they always are. They have the capacity to heal and, though aware of that, Hera didn’t realise they could help with numbness of all things.

“A touch of healing magick and a massage,” Merrin explains shortly. “It’s not rocket science.”

Hera laughs. “If it were, I’d understand it.” Then, she nods. “I’d appreciate it.”

They settle on the bottom bunk, which usually belongs to Sabine. However, the teen has been trying to barter for the top bunk and, with this latest fall, Hera is tempted to give in. The young Mandalorian is sturdier than she is and far less prone to night terrors.

Merrin has a surprisingly gentle touch, carefully interwoven with wisps of glowing mist. Despite her initial reluctance, Hera lets out a grateful sigh when the feeling starts to return to her lekku. It’s like walking around swinging a numb arm; intensely uncomfortable. While Merrin works, BD-1 approaches, beeping concernedly and nudging the Twi’lek’s leg with his head.

“I’m okay, BD,” she reassures gently.

After a moment, Merrin speaks in a whisper. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hera has to look away from BD-1, something in her chest wrenching. She shuts her eyes. “No,” she says finally. “Not really.”

Merrin must notice her reaction to their droid friend because after a long enough moment to be somewhat normal, she speaks to him. “BD, could you go find her head wrap? She might have left it on the Mantis.”

He leaps up, chirping determinedly. When he rushes out of the room, intent on helping, Hera can’t help but let out a breath of relief.

Still working away, Merrin sighs. “You should hang back when we get to Lothal. We could use a pilot in case things go wrong.”

“Greez already offered,” she reminds her, frowning.

“The Mantis isn’t exactly ideal for the type of cargo we’re... borrowing.” She pauses. “Besides, you need a break.”

“I’m fine.”

She scoffs. “Yes, falling from your bed in a fit of terror is the behaviour of a fine person.” At Hera’s silence, she sighs again. “Look, I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Things have been difficult lately and whatever you see in your sleep isn’t helping. Just...let yourself rest, Hera. The galaxy won’t implode if you take a nap.”

Tell that to the Empire. Maybe they’d hold off on pulling the trigger, she thinks ruefully.

Eventually, she relaxes, and when Merrin finishes, BD reappears. This time, however, he’s not alone. Kanan stands a step behind him, eyes tight with worry. The weight on his shoulders lessens minutely at the sight of Hera.

BD ignores him, running up to the Twi’lek with her leather headwrap held tight in one metal foot. He beeps excitedly as he hands it to her.

She gives him as much of a smile as she can currently manage. “Thank you, BD. You’re my hero.”

He nudges her fondly before scampering over to Merrin, who huffs amusedly.

“C’mon,” she says, leaning down as she stands from the bunk so he can leap onto her shoulder. “Let’s see if we can’t coax Rabid out, hm?”

On their way out of the room, she sends a knowing glance at both Hera and Kanan before the door shuts behind her. Her voice, directed toward the devil droid on her shoulder, starts to fade after a few moments, growing more distant.

“I…” Kanan has to clear his throat, which is drier than Tatooine. “I felt your distress in the Force. Came back as soon as I could. You okay?”

Hera takes a moment to slip on her headwrap, grateful at the fact that her lekku are no longer tingling. “Better now, I think,” she admits.

He takes a step forward, asking. At her nod, he moves to sit beside her on the lower bunk and pulls her to his side. She rests her head on his shoulder. Shutting her eyes, she finally lets herself relax, knowing that she must be safe here, of all places. She takes comfort in Kanan’s touch and the way he runs his thumb across her shoulder, too. His breath of relief against her forehead makes her smile, just a little.

(And it certainly helps to clutch the stupid poncho he’s wearing in her hand. It’s an ugly near-white with black patterning that forms an arrow near the bottom. Outlander was what Cal called it. He loved giving them dramatic names like he’d made his own clothing line or something. Hera hates the Outlander one.)

“Nightmares?” he murmurs.

She nods slightly.

He hesitates, but finally asks what she’s anticipating. “The same one again?”

“Isn’t it always?” she retorts, more sad than sharp. There’s a long moment of silence before she speaks again and when she does, her voice wavers. “I can’t remember what he looked like.”

“Hera—”

“I know he had a scar on his cheek and across the bridge of his nose, that he had red hair and green eyes and the cutest karking smile in the galaxy, but I can’t remember it,” Hera says shakily. “I know what he should look like, but I can’t...picture it. And it drives me insane.”

Kanan squeezes her shoulder. “It’s been ten years. I forget, too.”

“I hate it,” she whispers.

The kiss to her temple is sweet and soft and it should bring her some sort of relief, but it doesn’t. It’s not nearly enough and Kanan knows that. There’s nothing he can do to soothe the ache in her chest where Cal used to live, because he can’t even soothe his own gaping wound.

All he can do is hold her close and say: “I know. I know.”

But, thinking of tear-stained, freckled cheeks and a bitter kiss goodbye, she can’t help but wonder if he really does.

*

River’s Tags: @mystoragehatesme & @hahaboop

Masterlist

[too-lit-for-fanfic]

A Traitor In Our Midst

PART I OF III

PART I

PART II

PART III

Summary: Cal Kestis x ex-Galactic Empire!OC, but can be treated like an x reader, ugly secrets from her past are resurfaced. In light of the truth Cal and crew no longer feel as if they can trust the newest member to the trio. Tempers flare, sacrifices are made, and the truth finally comes out.

Warnings: It’s fucking long (sorry not sorry) and this part is mostly a set up for the next bit, but still CRUCIAL. The two first parts gets dark, like holy shit kind dark. Angst, Blood, Violence, Swearing.

“We’re coming under heavy fire! One of you get back to the ship as soon as possible, we can’t hold them off much longer!” Cere’s panicked voice wafted through the com-link, her voice scratchy and filled with static as the connection failed and reconnected.

Cal shot a glance over his shoulder, his bright eyes connecting with the much darker pair belonging to his companion, Aylin, her eyebrows knit together with barely concealed concern. The interaction was brief, broken as a trooper tackled Cal to the ground, his saber knocked flying as BD-1 shrilled in the background. The fiery haired male gasped for breath as the wind was knocked from him, the troopers heavy boot digging under his ribs forcing the little air left from his lungs. Just as the trooper raised its blaster Aylin materialised, knocking them to the ground with a harsh swing of her stun baton, their helmet splintering under the force. Cal grinned sheepishly at the woman as she handed him his saber, an angular eyebrow raised as the red head scrambled to his feet.

“You stay here until BD’s finished downloading the maps,” the pair glanced towards the little droid, whirring and buzzing as its eyes flickered. “I’ll go help the others at the ship, meet us there as soon as you can.”

Cal went to retort, his mouth opening with a disgruntled look upon his pale features. He did not like the idea of the pair separating, not at all.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” The blonde grinned, patting the slightly taller male on his shoulder as she began to head off, jogging in the general direction of the landing pad. Cal sighed as she raced away, dodging out of the troopers blaster fire with ease, she’d be the death of him one day; being on edge for another’s safety all the time couldn’t be good for his health, he muttered, he’d be having a stroke before long.

Before long Aylin had reached the landing pad, which was actually just a flat area in amongst an abundance of trees, but they couldn’t be picky. She caught her breath for a moment, surveying the scene below: Cere was huddled behind a stack of crates, exchanging blaster fire with several troopers just inside the tree line, Greez was still stranded on the ship, using his small blaster to ward off another two troopers flanking the opposite side. It didn’t look good. Deciding to pick the easier route for once, she ambled towards the two troopers penning Greez in the ship, hoping with the addition of him she’d have more of a chance against the five troopers currently engaged with Cere.

Crouching low, she shimmied her way through the thick shrubbery, uncaring for the spiky fauna that scratched at the exposed skin on her face and neck, her dark eyes trained on her closest trooper. Her knuckles turned white with the force she gripped her baton as she sprung from the brush, ramming the closest trooper with the electrically charged end to her weapon. The man yelled before he collapsed, alerting his companion of her presence. Greez yelled something to her but she barely payed him any mind, repositioning her baton just in time to deflect the oncoming blaster fire, the end of her weapon shattering upon impact. She grinned as the troops blaster faulted to recharge, discarding her broken baton to tackle him to the ground. Her teeth ground together as the man struggled, her arm locking around his neck, pinching at the unarmoured flesh. His legs kicked wildly as his hands clawed at her arm, unable to tear himself free. With a cry the trooper managed to flip the pair onto their backs, Aylin’s arm still constricting his airways as they struggled.

“Come on!” She begged, reaching for the newly charged blaster just out of reach, skimming the handle with her dirt stained fingers. Catching onto her actions the trooper also reached for the gun. Aylin panicked, knowing the troopers longer arm could reach the discarded weapon. Throwing her leg over his reaching arm she wound her legs around his torso, trapping him in place as she wriggled further, dirt and leaves meshing into her hair. “Come on.” She finally grasped the blaster, immediately pressing the cool barrel on the underside of the mans helmet and firing. He fell limp as she pushed him from her, scrambling to her feet.

She leans over, hands on her knees as she gasped for breath, blaster still grasped in her shaky hand. “You okay kid?” Geez called, hurrying down the ramp as fast as his little legs would allow. Ayling looked toward the small Latero, eyes wide. She looked feral, her short hair a mess a top her head, dirt and debris caked across her figure and blood splattered onto her jugular and jaw.

“I could’ve- could’ve used your help back there.” She gasped out, rubbing her chest to ease the pain the troopers helmet had caused as he had thrashed against her. Greez spluttered, gesturing wildly.

“I didn’t want to shoot you-!”

“Fine, fine.” She reloaded the blaster, not wanting to receive the same fate as the unfortunate troop strewn in front of her. She gazed at the unknown man for a little too long, the familiar white uniform striking uncomfortably at her heartstrings. As much as she detested herself for it, and as much as she would never admit to it, the uniforms always gave her a sense of home, of comfort, of familiarity, of belonging. The corner of her bust lip pulled down slightly, her eyes flickering over the troops number engraved onto his suit. That could of been her, and the reality of that caused something fowl to twist in her gut - she glanced back to Greez, who didn’t seem to notice her momentary destraction, if she dwelled on the subject too long she’d surely go mad. “Come on, we’ve gotta go help Cere.”

The two rounded the corner of the ship, ducking behind a nearby crate. Aylin pocked her head around the side of the small object, gnawing on her lip. There was no way they could interfere from their current position, they’d be dead before they could even start firing.

“Do you fancy causing a destraction?” She turned to the short male, said Latero staring back at her with wide eyes.

“No.”

“Go and cause a destraction.”

“You go cause a destraction.” He huffed, Aylin rolled her almond shaped eyes. “Why does it have to be me? You’re faster and I actually want to reach the age of sixty.”

“I’m the better shot.” She bragged, reaching to grab his blaster. He recoiled, hugging it to his chest. “You’re not going to need it.” She stressed, pulling it from his hesitant grasp. “But I will, this blasters not got much left to it. Better safe th-“

“-Than sorry.” Greez sighed. Beginning to head off into the foliage. “I hate it when you’re right.”

The young woman turned back to the task at hand, blaster gripped tightly in her hand as she awaited Greez’s move. She glanced down at her stolen blaster momentarily, brows furrowing further when she remembered the five troopers awaiting her. There was no room for any mistake, one wrong hit and they’d all be dead. More crucially, she’d likely be dead first. She cursed as she watched Greez amble around the perimeter, a large rock grasped in his hands. Cere, not realising the plan, finally spotted Aylin from her position, eyes widening when she saw the blaster in the girls hand. Even from such a distance Aylin could see the worry on the older woman’s face, frantically mouthing ‘don’t do it’ as the blaster fire assaulted Cere’s own crate. Forcing a shaky grin onto her lips, Aylin gave the woman a thumbs up, indicating she had no intention of listening to her, at all.

Greez yelled something incomprehensible from the brush, launching the rock at the closest troopers head. Stupidly, all five turned towards the noise, Greez legging it back into the cover of the dense woodland. Aylin sprang from her spot, blaster aimed and loaded, glaring down the barrel of the gun as if her life depended on it, because it did. Each shot had barely left the the blaster before the other was fired, all hitting their mark. The ease by which she possessed as graceful as that of a ballet dancer, muscle memory doing the work - the same routine, the same outcome. One by one each trooper went down, her aim deadly accurate and unforgiving.

The three stood alone in the clearing, Aylin with her blaster still raised, Cere finally able to emerge from her hiding spot, holstering her own weapon once again. Greez also reappeared, a large grin on his thick lips.

“Thank god you came back when you did, it took you long enough.” Cere playfully jibed, a gracious smile sent the young girls way as she approached. “Are you okay?”

“Never better.” The blonde smiled, already forgetting about her bust lip and bruising chest. “Are you good? Can’t believe there was so many on you.”

“We always get through it. Where’s Cal?”

Aylin shrugged nonchalantly, knowing the boy was more than capable. “He should be back any minute now. BD was still-“

It all happened at once, and the rapidity of it all almost gave Aylin whiplash just thinking about it. Cal had called her name as he emerged from the forrest, BD perched hazardously on his broad shoulders. She had turned with a smile upon her lips, her guard down, blaster lowering just a fraction, and that’s all it took. One final trooper had crashed through the brush, weapon trained on the woman who had killed the last of his squadron. Aylin didn’t even have time to blink as Cal screamed, the shot hitting her square in the shoulder and sending her tumbling to the ground, her head connecting with the stony earth, plunging her into the dark abyss.

She came to moments later, Cal kneeling over her as Cere and Greez ran over, shouting. The pain hit her immediately and she grimaced, Carl’s worried eyes staring right back into her own, his hands cupping either side of her face.

“You’re back.” He sighed, dropping the now empty stim as relief flooding his system. The few seconds it had taken for her to regain consciousness were agonisingly slow and Cal had been close to tears. The shining dew drops threatening to spill from the corners of his bloodshot eyes at the relief. His hands fell from her angular face as his attention turned to her wound, the blood already soaking her shirt and jacket. BD booped loudly on his shoulder, practically screeching. “Thank Kriff it didn’t hit your chest.”

He gently tugged at her leather jacket, his fingers sliding across the material and coating in the fresh crimson blood. He barely noticed. Aylin lurched as the material brushed against her wound. A low groan catching in the back of her throat as her head fell back, suddenly feeling nauseatingly dizzy.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Cal murmured, brows furrowing as he tried to see the extent of the damage. Immediately noticing her deteriorsting state he propped her up, crouching next to her with a firm grip around her waist and her uninjured arm slung over his shoulders, grasping her hand in his bloody one. “We’ve got to get you in the ship.”

“Are you alright?” Cere skidded into view, Greez hot on her trail. Aylin gazed up at her languidly, already beginning to feel the haze of blood-loss.

“She’s in shock and she needs medical attention. A stim won’t fix this.” With the help of Cere Aylin finally stood properly, unstable on shaky legs, the pair guiding her towards the entrance to the ship as Greez scuttled inside, clearing a space on the sofa.

“I don’t feel great.” Aylin groaned, the pounding of her skull from where she had collided with the rocks below causing her to trip and stumble. “I think I’m con-concu-“ she couldn’t remember the word. Cal sat her down on the plush orange sofa as Cere left to collect some medical supplies.

“We’ve got to get this off.” Cal began tugging her jacket off, pulling the sleeve gently over her wounded shoulder. Aylin grimaced again, hands balling into fists as she shrugged the tattered jacket off. “You know,” he mumbled, draping the jacket over the holographic table. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without this on.”

“Don’t get used to it.” She joked, smile twisting into a grimace when her shoulder knocked against the backrest as she readjusted the brace on her lower arm, blood smearing onto the metal. “I already miss it.” Cal laughed at her comment as his fingers fluttered over the scorched flesh of her shoulder, his hand resting delicately on her bicep to keep her steady. Aylin had been travelling with the company for about a year now, and even though it had taken a while for them to trust each other in the current climate, Cal couldn’t even remember what life had been like until she had stumbled into it, quite literally. He could feel his heart begin to race at the mere though of what could of happened if the troops aim had just slightly moved to the left. His throat tightened at the thought, the alternative wasn’t worth dwelling on. Cal was drawn back from his thoughts by Cere, who sat down opposite the pair, a bundle of medical supplies in her arms.

“Look at me.” Cere commanded, a small flashlight in hand. Both turned towards her, Cal with a look of curiosity, Aylin with a half conscious glance.

“Cere what-“ the older woman grabbed the blondes chin with a firm grip, forcing her head forward as she shone the small light into her amber eyes. Aylin jumped back, wincing, her hands coming up to grab at either side of her head.

“Fuck Cere I’ve already got a migraine, no need t-“

“You’ve got a concussion.” She quips, rolling her eyes. Cal hides a laugh into his elbow as Aylin glares at the woman, fingers still roughly massaging her scalp.

“Cere is this the time? The kids got a hole in her shoulder.” Greez meanders into the living quarters, desperately trying to avoid gazing at the mangled mess of Aylins shoulder.

“Concussions can be deadly. I can fix that shoulder no problem.” Without warning Cere sticks a syringe into Aylins left bicep, the uninjured one, and injects a purple liquid into her system. Cal actually saw the difference, the scowl of pain instantly lifting from her face and her shoulders slacking at the release of tension.

“Better?” Cal grinned, thumb absentmindedly massaging her upper arm.

“Much better.” BD shrilled loudly from Cal’s shoulder, hopping up and down excitedly. She smiled softy at the droid, reaching out to run her fingers along its antenna. “Thanks buddy.”

“Cal can you come and sit over here? I need you to hold her arm still.” Cere shuffled over to allow Cal to crouch in front of the pair, antiseptic-drenched cloth in each hand. Cere turned towards Aylin, who had paled in colour considerably upon noticing the rags in her hands. “This is going to hurt, you’re going to have to stay still.”

“We don’t have any painkillers?” Aylin questioned, her eyes widening a fraction. At her lack of response Aylin purses her lips. Cal frowned as his grip tightened against the junction between her neck and shoulder, his other grasping just above her elbow. Greez immediately excused himself from the room, speed walking back to the cockpit. Cal’s lips pressed into a thin line as he glanced down at the wound, fresh blood seeping from the singed flesh. Her whole arm drenched in the crimson substance. Hopefully it just looked worse than it actually is.

“It’ll be over before you know it.” He offered in comfort, lying between his teeth, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. BD booped despondently.

“Right.” She sighs, “Just get it over with.”

Without warning Cere presses both rags on the entrance and exit wounds, digging deep to be rid of all infection. Aylin, unprepared, screeches and almost leaps from her chair, if not for Cal’s hands pinning her in place. She’d had plenty of blaster wounds before and no matter how many times she went through the process, it always stung like a bitch. Her head slammed against the head rest as her foot stomped onto the floor, anything to distract her from the fiery inferno engulfing her shoulder. She clamps her mouth shut in an attempt to regain some control, the scream desperate for release reverberating about her chest and sticking in her throat. Cal’s eyes never leave her face, his own body just as rigid as hers, watching as her features twist and contort. Cere pulls back, dragging the drenched cloth in a meek attempt to try and clean up the bloody mess. Aylin sighs in relief, body falling limp.

“Not so bad, was it?” Cal whispers cheekily, removing his hand from her shoulder to pat her thigh gently, his other hand remaining just above her forearm.

She gazes back at him, trying to appear unamused though she found his comment endearing. “I’m so glad you’re here Cal, it’s always a pleasure-” She stutters as Cere begins applying the healing ointment, her arm jerking involuntarily. Cal’s hand slips to rest against the brace on her lower arm and before he can retract it a memory hits him in full force.

He’s in a market, at a vendors stall with an assortment of accessories laid out on a plush purple cloth. He can’t seem to make out where he is, but a bright sun hangs over head and a soft breeze whips sand into the air. The market is busy, full of all sorts of creatures speaking differing dialects and in the midst of it all the familiar blonde approaches, but he can tell something is different about Aylin and he frowns at the uncomfortable feeling in his gut. What powerful memory could she have of simply buying an arm brace?

He steps up next to her as she exchanges cash with the small merchant, plucking the familiar leather binding from the table. As soon as she turns away from the small creature she tugs the thin cotton material of her shirt up, exposing her forearm for the briefest moment before securing the brace in place.

All colour drains from Cal’s face as he watches her flex her fingers, a content smile tugging at her chapped lips. It had only been for the briefest of moments but he had seen it. He had seen the small ink black tattoo etched onto her tanning skin. He had seen who she really was; TX-5579.

Cal lurches away from her, falling onto his elbows along the ships floor. Both women stare down at him incredulously as he breaths heavily. BD-1 beeps as he hops over, concern evident in the little boops he released. Cal pays him no mind, his eyes transfixed on the woman before him, on the stormtrooper before him. He felt like throwing up.

“Cal are you-” Aylin stops in her tracks as Cal scrambles to his feet, his eyes never leaving the leather binding on her forearm. She knew Cal had some strange abilities with the use of the Force, and she paled as she realised what he might have seen. “Cal, no-”

“Cere get away from her.” His voice is both panicked and stern, both hurt and enraged. He felt like his chest was being ripped open, that he couldn't breathe. The dark haired woman glances up from her work on Aylin’s shoulder, unamused.

“Cal, what are you-”

“I saw.” He stammers, pointing a finger accusingly at the young woman. “I saw you, I saw-”

“Cal, please, it’s not-” She tries as Cere backs away, going to stand alongside the distraught redhead. Greez emerges from the cockpit, alerted by the commotion.

“You’re one of them.” He turns to Cere. “She’s a stormtrooper.”

The air inside the ship froze, the only sound the whirring of the hull and a string of beeps from BD. No one moved and the atmosphere was so full of tension it could be sliced with a knife.

“Cal,” she tries, raising from her seat. “please, I-”

“Take it off.” He all but bellows, gesturing wildly to her leather brace. “Take it off and prove me wrong.” She freezes, there was nothing for her to do. This was it.

“I can’t-”

“Aylin-” Cere interrupts, her eyes begging her for it to not be true. Aylin struggled to meet her gaze.

“Why can’t you?” Cal steps forward, his voice uncharacteristically cold. His brows furrowed as she took a step back, still cradling her injured arm, the brace pressed against her chest. “Why, can’t, you?”

“Because what you saw is true!” She snapped, finally pulling the binding from her lower arm and dropping the heavy material onto the holographic table. The bold lettering stood out from her pale skin like a bruise, TX-5579 permanently branding her as a token of the Galactic Empire.

Greez mutters an almost inaudible “kid” at the revelation and Aylin could swear she visibly heard her heart shatter along with his.

Aylin’s mouth hung open as she tried to formulate a sentence, her mind still half preoccupied with the throbbing pain emanating from her shoulder. “I-” she tried, glancing at each of her companions in turn. Greez looked as if he had just been slapped in the face by a particularly disgusting specimen, Cere’s arms were crossed tightly across her chest, her eyes ablaze with the fury of a thousand suns. Finally, her sights landed on Cal, and she almost winced at the expression painted across his features. He looked completely and utterly betrayed, his brows furrowed together and his lips pulled into a thin line. His arms were tense at his sides, she clenched her jaw upon realising his hand rested against his saber, ready. “I’m not a stormtrooper, I-”

“You were.”

“I was never a stormtrooper.”

“If you weren’t a trooper, what were you?” Cere interrupts, pushing Cal back who had strode closer and closer to the blonde. “What did you do?”

“I-” Aylin stammered, she couldn’t tell them, she couldn’t. If this was their reaction to her being a trooper, how on earth would they react when they found out who she really was? Another wave of nausea hit her and she collapsed back onto the couch, elbow propped against the table. “I-”

“Dammnit Aylin answer the goddamn question.” Greez spoke up from beside Cal, the whole situation putting him in a bad mood. She panicked, her eyes constantly searching for a way out, for a way to just disappear.

“It’s non of your fucking business.” She bit back, her hands clenching into fists. “I’m not who I was, I defected. I-”

“You didn't tell us. You didn't tell me.” Cal was furious, his hand clenching and unclenching around his saber. “And you’re still lying. You’ve been with us for over a year and we still don’t know anything about you.”

“Stop with the bullshit Kestis.” Her outburst shocked everyone in the room, including herself. Throwing caution to the wind she continued on, she was tired, she was in pain and she’s had enough. “I’ve never given any of you a reason not to trust me. I’ve constantly put my life on the line for you all, time and time again. Yeah, fine, you don't know shit about my past but you know me, you know how much I hate the ocean, how much I love flying, how I fucking like my tea- you know me, not my past, me. If I wanted you dead, I would have done so a long time ago. I defected and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and you lot are not going to give me shit for doing the right thing.”

The room enveloped in silence once again, the tension growing thicker with each passing moment. Carl’s eyes bore into her own and Aylin fought the urge to let her eyes wander. She had done nothing wrong, she had no reason to feel the way she was feeling; the fowl something clawing at her chest and twisting her stomach, so many things she wanted to say that clogged her throat. Their eyes locked as Cal took another step forward, ignoring Ceres hand against his shoulder. The icy blue contrasted against her earthly hazel; fire and ice, the sun and moon, water and earth, they were incompatible, Cal was only now beginning to realise. He was the first to break the intense stare. His voice a fragile whisper, far more hesitant than seconds prior.

“Is your name even Aylin?”

“Yes,” she stressed, free hand absentmindedly wrapping around her right forearm, hiding the branding from view. “They don’t take names from sup-“ She immediately cut herself off, eyes closing as she realised her mistake.

“You were a superior officer-“ Cal couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What is your last name?” Cere questions from behind Cal, tone accusatory, leaning her shoulder against some shelving. Aylin’s fiery eyes snap towards the woman, flickering from conflicted to purely distraught. After a tense moment, the blondes features finally caught up with her emotions, settling on absolutely enraged.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Cere.” Instead of shouting, as the four others had expected, her voice was eerily monotone, an icy edge under toning every word. Cal only felt further sickened when he realised this was most likely an attribute she had learnt from her time with the Empire. “You don’t get to judge me for this, they do,” she motioned harshly to BD, Cal and Greez, who shared a confused glance with one another. “but you can go fuck yourself before you try to play the innocent role with me. I know what you did, I know all about Trilla.”

“How do you-“ Cere had visibly paled at the revelation. Cal, Greez and BD’s focus flitted from one woman to the other, BD’s little head spinning so fast he began to whirr, his circuit fans trying to cool his joints down. Cal was by far the palest of them all, his stomach churning as the reality of things came crashing down. He had trusted these people, he had finally found a home, and now, that home was crumbling through no fault of his own, the pillars of lies at its foundation destroyed with each fatal truth surfaced.

Trust only in the Force. His masters final words echoed back to him, he worked his tense jaw at the memory. Why couldn’t he just listen for once?

Greez was completely and utterly lost, he really didn’t understand the crooks of the situation, and with how everyone around him was acting, he didn’t think he wanted to. He glanced towards Cal, and upon seeing the dazed look in his eyes, reached up to place a comforting hand against his shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter how I know, but I do, and if I’m going to be held accountable for my past, so are you.”

“Cere what is she on about?”

“Not now Cal.” She snapped back, eyes never leaving the dark blondes from across the room.

“No, I think he deserves to know.” Aylin interrupted the exchange, finally gathering enough strength to stand, hip propped against the table. “Cere told you her padawan didn’t make it, right?” Cal nodded stifly, gaze flickering to Cere. “Well that’s not entirely true. You see, after Order 66 Cere was taken in for questioning and then requisitioning, as were a majority of Jedi Masters. Unlike the majority of Jedi Masters, Cere still lives to tell the tale. Do you ever wonder how? Why her, of all masters, survived?”

Cere’s fists clenched as Aylin took a step forward, her full attention on Cal.

“She didn’t die so her padawan could live. She sacrificed her padawan so that she” the blonde glared pointedly. “could live. Cere escaped and left Trilla behind, and now she’s the Second Sister.”

“You have no idea what it was like-“ the dichotomy of both the plea for understanding aimed at Cal, combined with the seething venom aimed towards Alylins accusations created an unusual tone, the woman’s dark eyes shifting with emotion as they landed on each separate individual in the room. Cere’s tone was something Cal had never witnessed before, on any living creature, but for Aylin it was as familiar as the brightened tone to a child’s laugh, or the sullen croak of those laden with grief. She had seen this instance time and time again, traitor upon traitor, prisoner upon prisoner, begging for understanding yet grounded in conviction.

“For you personally, no I don’t. But I know exactly what it entails. So many masters before and after you didn’t break under the presssure, most barely splintered. And yet you’re going to try and persuade me - him -“ she gestured to Cal, gathering her discarded jacket in her arms. “that you’re circumstances were significantly different. Own up to your mistakes Cere. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, you do.”

The room plunged into another bought of sickening silence, the tension thick enough that it began to suffocate the tall redhead pressing himself against the wall, desperate to just get away. It was too much, the yelling, the arguing, the hatred and the anger seeping into him through the force from those around him. Two outcomes lay before him, and with solemnity he realised which path was inevitable, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try his damnest to try and salvage what he could from the fiery inferno before him.

“As much as you may hate to admit it, none of us are perfect. Not me, not you,” Aylin pointed to Cal and Greez. She turns to Cere. “and certainly not you.” Spinning on her heel she practically marches to her sleeping quarters, her clenched fists hidden beneath the jacket she gripped to her chest.

Cal scrambled after her retreating figure, his blood pounding in his ears as the panic began to consume him; if this wasn’t resolved, this could be it. Somehow he managed to get in front of her, gripping both of her shoulders “We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing more to talk about.”

“No, there is. We can fix this, everyone just needs to calm down-“

Aylin felt nauseated at the hope theat lingered in the depths of Carl’s crystalline pools that bore into her. The swirling blue now redrimmed with the stresses of the day. As much as she stood by what she had said to Cere, she would sooner die than recount every last word, she knew, deep down, Cere also spoke the truth. She couldn’t be trusted, not after all the monstrous things she had done. It was foolish to believe other wise. She was foolish to think she ever had a chance. “21.” Bursts from her lips before she could prevent it, her small lips pressing into a thin line as Cal’s grip on her shoulders tightened and his brows furrowed. In some sick way, she was thankful for the pain seeping from her shoulder as his grip tightened; it grounded her, and inadvertently, even if Cal didn’t realise what he was doing, it was payback. Payback for the pain she was about to inflict.

“What?” His voice was airy, preparing for whatever blow he was about to hit full force.

“That’s the number of Jedi I helped the Empire capture. 21.” His hands immediately retracted, as if the contact burnt the very flesh from his palms. Aylin ignored the horror in his eyes, burying her own regret with the monotonous stare she had mastered. She didn’t give him a chance to leave before she continued, he deserved to know. “Atleast 10 were younglings, padawans, whatever you call them. They all died, I gave the orders.” He looked pale, too pale, a thin sheen of sweat covered every inch of exposed skin she could see. His features acted completely on their own; there was no more restraint, no more hiding - complete and utter horror, anguish and fury swirled with the depths of his pale yet drakened features, she could practically sense the disgust that rolled off of him in waves.

She knew this image would forever be burned into her mind, alongside all the other horrors she had faced, and she knew this would be the image to haunt her beyond the grave.

Regardless, she continued; she had dug this hole, and she wasn’t finished yet, she wanted to dig until the rays of the overhanging sun failed to reach her, until she was cast into the dark abyss and forgotten, along with the horrors she had committed. “I was a superior officer, I was awarded one of the highest positions in the Galactic Empire, I answered directly to Lord Vader himself.” She sidestepped the young man, heading to her dorm. He didn’t turn to watch her, but he could still hear every ragged breath that parted her lips. “It was a game for me Cal, and I was winning, and I lived for it.”

Cal usually had a hard time reading her emotions through the force, she was always disconnected, in a sense, but now she was an open book, each emotion crashing into him like the most ferocious tsunami; the pride that had gripped her with every fallen Jedi; the thrill of the chase; the glee at another puzzle to solve and destroy.

“But that’s not who I am anymore, Cal.”

He felt the conflict she had hidden for so long; the anguish once she realised the consequences of her actions; the regret; the terrror; the disgust; the pain; the loathing that had gripped every fibre of her being, that now threatened to suffocate them both.

She took one final breath as she stepped into the boundaries of her room, turning to face Cal with an indescribable look plastered upon her features.

“I’m not who I was, but there’s no changing who I used to be.”

And then the door slid shut.

[gotham-fan-shit]

A Random Encounter Jerome x Reader

A/N: Excuse this if it’s absolutely terrible. This is my first Jerome fic and it was really hard trying to capture his character well. This would be for an OC who knew Jerome before he killed his mother and is trying to push him away. Enjoy!

Word Count: 697

Warnings: Profanity, Death

“Jerome Valeska, well I never.”

You got up and walked over to the redhead, a surprised yet smug smile on your face. You looked him up and down. His ginger hair was dishevelled and he wore what appeared to be a straight-jacket, twinning with the other 3 members of the Maniax that joined him. He looked you in the eyes, a short burst of maniacal laughter bursting from his lips.

“Y/N! I thought you’d given up on me.”

You sighed at his over-enthusiasm; he was still boyishly charming, but with a more sinister edge.

“No, I would never.” You said, sarcasm dripping from each and every word. He looked around, a small hint of confusion dulling the childish light in his eyes.

“If I recall correctly, you don’t go to school. What’s a girl from the Narrows doing all the way out here?”

You laughed dryly at his statement.

“It’s amazing what determination can get you. Well, that and a whore mother. You of all people should understand that.” You leant back in the chair of the bus, a small smile tugging at your lips. His smile turned sinister, a flash of the past he didn’t want to remember creeping in. You had always loved toying with him. The girls on the bus gave you quick glances; they clearly thought you were deluded. You couldn’t blame them. A psychopath walks into your school bus about to blow it up and you’re making small talk? Whatever delays him until the police get here, you thought.  He fiddled with the gun is his hand, glancing back at the rest of the people on the bus. His ‘teammates’ gave him an expecting look. It would be clear to anyone that he was their leader, but you knew him. The guy couldn’t fight for shit, you’d often had to do that for him when he got picked on, back when he was still sane.

“You know, it’s been too long.”

“It’s been a few months, Jerome.”

He gave a quick chuckle.

“When you’re locked up in the asylum, it feels like a lot longer.”

Sympathy waved over you, before you remembered who you were dealing with. You smiled slightly.

“Take me with you.”

“What?” You heard a voice down the bus ask, faint but shocked. You recognised it to be Greenwood, the cannibal. He had been in the news when he was arrested and sent to Arkham. Suddenly, you heard the distant sounds of sirens, slowly closing in. Jerome looked back,  and hauled you out of your chair, laughter echoing through the bus. He showed you to the truck they had stolen, the hose on the back being dragged towards the bus by Aaron Helzinger. The pump turned on, and gasoline spouted out the end, filling the bus and all inside it. You opened the door, got in and lied back in the seat, the padding comfortable and plush. It was then you looked out the window, and by god did you wish you hadn’t. The bus was engulfed by flames, the unmistakable sounds of screams filling the air. You could see a few police cars outside; everyone’s mouths were agape. You shuffled down in your seat a little.

Jerome and the rest of the Maniax walked towards you and sat down, barely cramming themselves in with the extra addition. Jerome placed his arm around your shoulders, clearly comfortable. You pushed him away.

“What have you been up to anyways, Y/N?”Jerome asked. The engine had started up and you were on the move, but not even the loud engine could hide how awkward the trip was.

“The usual, for a Narrows girl.”

He laughed again.

“Come one, surely you can give me more than that!”

You sighed. He never was this talkative. You missed at least that about him.

“Look, Jerome. You got me off that flaming bus and probably out that shitty school. Drop me off, and we never have to see each other again.” His twisted smile dropped to a frown. 

“You want me to leave you? The place I’m staying in is a palace! Sure you wouldn-”

“No.” You cut him off, “Just drop me home, and we can forget this happened.” He gave a reluctant sigh. 

“Aaron,” Aaron grunted, a sign that he had heard. “Take the next left.”

[parvulous-writings]

Stars //Sith!Obi-Wan x Pregnant!Reader

Request:   Heya! First of all, I just want to say, wow!!! I loved wvry word of the Vader x Reader you did, and reading your notes, I really don't mind it as an AU! I've never really read anything to do with Sith Obi-Wan before, though to be fair I only just got into Star Wars again 😅 This isn't really a request, but from what I can see from your posts, you seem to really like Obi-Wan, well, Ewan Mcgregor in general 😂I wanted to ask if you could write another x Reader, but this time a Sith Obi-Wan AU?Thanks for reading! -Red ❤ p.s, @rey-is-not-a-skywalker, you're welcome for requesting the sith x reader, I guess you're obsessed as I am 😂 p.s the second, I'm loving the new pfp!

Requested by: ​Red

Summary: The reader has some news for Sith Lord Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: The reader is AFAB, pregnancy

Words: 1.7K

Notes: You would be correct in assuming I love Obi-Wan and Ewan McGregor as a whole. Also I’m glad you like the new pfp! I am also in love with it! :)  Did I self indulge with this oneshot? I think you know the answer. Leave me alone, I am too much of a simp at this point.  I have never been pregnant, so some of this may be inaccurate. 

Not my gif

An old Jedi’s fall from grace was a never a pretty sight to see, it was no glorious tale to tell from any side. It was full of hurt, pain, hatred, suffering. This was more than true for the fallen Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. His downfall was the least expected out of those who turned away from the light, he had always been the most loyal of men, the most faithful of soldiers.  Perhaps, in part at least, this was what drove him away from his original allegiance. He was an exceptional leader of course, the most fantastic of generals, but besides that, in the larger picture, to the Jedi Order as a whole he was nothing more than a faceless defender of the galaxy. Just another of the tens of thousands Jedi.  Another factor that led to the man’s path to the dark side, was you. What you made him feel. The passion, the love. An indescribable feeling, all he could say about it was that it was truly wonderful. He did not mind the fear, or the hatred that came with it, for you made it all worth it. The massive highs compared to the lows outweighed them greatly, and thus he gave it all for and to you. His passion, his loyalty, his love. Everything he had, every fiber of his being, he gave it all to you. If he could turn the worlds on theirs heads, and you gave the word, he’d do it. 

You had initially been shocked at the man’s sudden change of life-plans and of loyalty. Though, the more you thought about it, the more you began to convince yourself, perhaps he had made the right choice. He wasn’t so uptight in regards to public affection now- he’d often smother you with kisses in front of company, or hold your arm or hand as you wander about in cities or halls. Despite the Sith being the darker beings of the Force, the life you now lived was almost... Peaceful. After a while, you very much enjoyed it. There weren’t so many rules now, and you both felt free.  Though, not everything about your new life was free or peaceful. There were times that Obi-Wan was pulled away from you much like in the way he was during the times of the Republic and the Jedi Order. He’d be wrenched from your embrace for weeks or months at a time, and the holocom conversations you shared were not the same as actual conversations. The comforting presence you both gave to one another were missing, and it was painfully obvious to the pair of you. 

One particular night, whilst Obi-Wan had been away, you were staring out at the stars- each of them twinkling from their position on the blanket of the night from their positions thousands of light-years away. They fascinated you every night, though you knew some of the planetary systems by name and had visited a few yourself, you couldn’t help but imagine what could be hiding away on them,  what could be awaiting discovery. They also distracted you from something plaguing your mind on this particular night, something you needed to get off of your chest. It had been bothering you more and more over the last few days, ever since you had made the discovery. 

You are brought from your train of thought by the bleeping of your comm. You move leisurely to answer it, there was only one person who could be calling you at this time of night, but you knew he wouldn’t mind you taking a moment longer than usual. You answer your lover’s call, and a murmur on the other end of the line hushes- he must have been talking to someone as he awaited your answer. “Ah, my beloved.. I thought you had fallen asleep.” He mused quietly, his smug expression clear even through the blue hologram, and you can’t help but chuckle at him.  “No. I was looking out at the stars,” You tell him, plainly. Sunsets and night skies held a special place in both of your hearts; you had spent many nights on Coruscant looking out at them, telling each other the wishes you had made on shooting stars that you rarely saw. You heard Obi-Wan sighed quietly. He knew your habits when he was away, and what they meant. “I should be returning soon, my dear.” He assured you, lowering his voice to nothing more than a whisper. “I am trying to get this done, you know, but it’s not as easy as-”  “I know, I know.” You cut him off, wrapping your arms around yourself, looking down at the floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Obi-Wan’s brows furrows, clearly he’s noticed your odd behaviour. 

“Something’s bothering you.” Obi-Wan notes, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his long robe. “Tell me,” He demanded. Though his tone was soft, it was still very much a command. You start to shake your head at him.  “I would rather not... Not over the comm.” You start, looking over to his projection. He looks even more concerned than before- partially because you disobeyed an order from him, and partially because you were willingly withholding information from him. You never did either of those things, not with him. You were both in balance, and trusted each other completely. He knew this had to be incredibly serious for you to say something like this.  “Then I shall return immediately.” He no longer cared for his assignment; he would much prefer that he knew you were safe and out of harm’s way. You start to shake your head more frantically.  “No, Kenobi- you must finish the task the Emperor has given you, he-”  “Can wait.” Obi-Wan finished abruptly. You could tell from the way he stood and held himself- chest out, shoulders back, spine rigid and straight-  that he could not be swayed on this. “He can wait.” He repeated, wanting the words to sink in, for you more than himself. “I will be returning, whether you agree with me or not. I will be back by the morning.” And with that, those final harsh words, he ended the call. You sighed quietly, running your hands over your face in exasperation and stress. You hadn’t wanted to pull your lover away from the mission he had been given, you had wanted to wait just a few more days till he returned as had been planned. You sighed deeply, moving away from the comm, heading towards bed as you strip off your clothes.  You nestle under the covers, wrapping your arms around yourself for some comfort. 

By morning, you were well rested. As your eyes started to crack and flutter open, you became acutely aware of the arm around your waist, and the head buried into the back of your neck. You shuffle slightly to look over your shoulder, smiling slightly at the peaceful expression on the face of the sleeping man behind you. By rights, you didn’t even have to turn over to know that it was Obi-Wan, you knew the feel of his aura and his touch. Still, it provided a sense of comfort, knowing with more certainty that it was him. You shuffle round to face him fully, brushing some of his auburn locks away from his closed eyes. His nose scrunches ever so slightly at the contact; and he too starts to wake up. It’s a slow process for him, and always had been. Even during his time serving the Order; though your mornings together were few and far between, you had noticed this little pattern of his. His eyes crack open like yours had done, and a drowsy smile moves over his lips.  “Good morning, darling...” He yawned softly, before pressing a gentle kiss to your jaw. “You look stunning...” He told you, his lips still pressed against your skin as he gave you the compliment- no doubt the first of many that morning.  “You flatter me, Obi..” You murmur in reply, and presses kiss after feather-light kiss over your jaw and neck.  “I speak only the truth for you, my love...” He trailed off for a moment, as he started to push himself up onto his elbows. “Now... Onto business...” He mused, “You still need to tell me what’s bothering you.” He pointed out, and he was right, as he often was. “So, I would start talking, my dear.” 

Though his demeanour is playful, you know you shouldn’t argue this time around. You sit up, leaning against your pillows as your try to think of how to start talking about your recent discovery- despite it’s wonderful connotations, it was not as easy as one might think. “Obi...” You begin.  “Darling.” He replied, hardly missing a beat.  “I have some... Rather pleasing news.” He nods, prompting you to continue. “You... Are going to be a father.”  It takes him a moment to actually register your words, for their meaning to sink in. He practically tackles you back into the bed when it clicks somewhere in his mind, the widest smile on his face. He’s laughing breathlessly, hardly able to believe the news or contain his excitement because of it.  “Is it so?” He asked, his hand splaying over your stomach as he spoke. “My, my...” He mumbled- and it was moments like this that showed how much he had changed from his old ways. Had you given such news to him whilst he was still a Jedi- he would have panicked at first, asked if you wished to keep the child, and if you had done he would have likely asked you to leave to a slightly more rural planetary system. He had no fear now, and so didn’t need to ask you. He accepts it with ease in these times, and is more than happy to receive such news.  He had no fear in rearing a child now, so long as you wished for it too. He paused as this thought washed over him, then gave you a curious look. “Are we... Keeping the child?” He asked, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.  “I think we could be wonderful parents... If you’re not away so much.” You poke your finger into his chest.  “Alright... I will discuss it...” He mused, resting his head near you abdomen, gazing at it in wonder. He could hardly believe that your child- the fruits of both of you- was growing there, and he was more than just excited to meet his child. He pulled you close again, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances as the morning wound on, till you eventually fell asleep again in his arms, comforted by his presence. 

[witchklng]

tagged by @radiantsansa ty!!! 🥰💗💕

favorite color: soft grays & blues, think stormy skies, the ocean, and blue & white china patterns ♡

currently reading: inheritance of hunger series by kathryn moon; just finished the third and last padme book, a queen’s hope by ek johnston; i am always reading SO much fic and have several tabs open of clone wars fic that i can’t wait to get into 🥰

last song: lana del rey’s “summertime sadness” (yes i am in a mood)

last series: orphan black!! god it’s so good 11/10 highly recommend!!!! now i’m rewatching once upon a time & critical role’s mighty nein campaign

last movie: obviously i’ve been up in my feels so i just rewatched star wars attack of the clones ♡

spicy/sweet/savory: savory 10000% but i’ve been leaning towards spicy as well lately

currently working on: writing my pirates of the caribbean au fic for shadow and bone & a boba fett oneshot (that may or may not be expanding into a multi chapter fic bc i’m insane), crocheting a bunny stuffed animal (she is black and her name is violet ♡), and i’m playing these games: playdead’s inside, jedi fallen order, and myst iii: exile

tagging: @kintsugi-keys @dying-suffering-french-stalkers @baba-fett @galacticgraffiti @pinkiemme @riahcafe @anpanlaur @thegreatblondebalrogslayer @norrington-hell @bantha-fodder

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Seven: Stolen Moments

Series Masterlist

Plot: Good, bad, lighthearted, heavy. Laughter, tears, passion and fear. Battles are only a part of the war, but the lives of the people who fight are where the true stories lie. 

Warnings: language, night terrors, anxiety, fluff, angst, suggestive activity, we do it all in this chapter...

Word Count: 6.4k

A/N: Here lies a collection of oneshots of our favorite pieces of rebel scum. Savor it because this is the last piece of lighthearted content you’ll be getting for a while...We’ve got one last chapter before we head into TROS...Enjoy! (Apologies to scrollers, I posted this from my mobile!)

————

“Black Leader to base.” “Base to Black Leader,” I said into my headset, “This is Commander Solo.” “Commander Solo? What are you doing on comms?” “Hello to you too,” I laughed softly, “I’m filling in.” It was the middle of the night, the only time where the base was fairly quiet. There were always people on duty but for the most part, there was rare silence in our corner of the jungle. The comms officer assigned to Poe for his mission had fallen ill so I immediately volunteered to take over. It wasn’t a difficult task, I never slept well when Poe was away anyways so at least I was being productive. 

“Are we alone, Commander?” 

“Yes, so stop calling me Commander,” I ordered, shifting in my uncomfortable seat, “You’re the one that likes that.” Poe chortled slightly, “I’ve never heard you complaining about it or anything that follows…” I was glad no one was around to see just how quickly my boyfriend could make me blush. The only reason I wasn’t indulging him was purely because of how tired I was. “It’s far too late for that kind of talk, Black Leader.” “Why’d you volunteer to take over? You sound exhausted.” I shrugged as I leaned back further in my chair, “I don’t sleep well when you’re gone.” “Still…” Poe trailed off, a loud yawn crackled through the headset, “Go to bed now, I’m gonna be landing in the next few minutes. Highly doubtful I’ll run into any trouble.” “I’m not ending this comm until I see your X-Wing on the ground,” I stated in a tone that left no room for argument, “If I left, it would end up being the time that Hugs and his armada of star destroyers would be waiting for you to come out of hyperspace and blow you out of the system.” “...Have you like thought this through or something? You came up with that scenario a little too fast…” I snickered to myself, “Just fly faster so I can stop missing you.” “You want me to fly faster than lightspeed?” “If anyone can do it, it’s you…”I smiled, fiddling with the cord of the headset that ran to the computer. “That sounds like an admission that I’m a better pilot than you are…”

“Where did you hear those words, Dameron? Cause I sure as hell didn’t saying them.” “Oh, you said enough,” Poe chuckled, “And you’re right on both counts.” I smiled lazily, “That’s right…” I hadn’t registered that my eyelids were beginning to shut, shaking myself awake I returned to the conversation, “Wait, what was my other count?” “I would break every principle of flying just to get home to you quicker.” A second blush heated my face as I let the sentiment seep into my veins. “You’re a charmer, Black Leader. Whoever your girlfriend is, she’s a lucky lady.”

“Trust me, I’m the one who’s lucky. She puts up with way too much shit from me.” “Something tells me that you’re worth it,” I said softly, unable to keep the lovestruck grin from my face.

I heard the distant sound of a ship and caught the long-awaited sight of Poe’s X-Wing coming onto the scanner. My body relaxed as I could finally sense Poe’s presence again. He was home.

“Permission to land, Solo?” 

“Granted,” I lazily smiled, “Welcome home, Dameron.”

————

It was a stupid fight that we shouldn’t have been having. 

Date nights were hard to come by, especially for people like us who were working constantly. But by some miracle, Poe and I had found a block of time one evening to have dinner together for longer than ten minutes. I’d set it up in our room, dimming the lights and arranging the table till it met my approval. I’d even changed out of my work clothes to the one pair of fatigues I owned. Everything was going to be perfect.

Till Poe didn’t show up.

I sat at the table with tears of anger pooling in my eyes, my gaze flicking between the door and the ever-changing clock. Just as my anger couldn’t possibly grow any further, the door slid open and in came Poe. Sweaty, stained with oil and curls completely out of place. Some of the new recruits had asked Poe to give them a few tips on their flying techniques and he’d gotten caught up in it. What started as discussion had climbed to practice dogfights above base.

Soft spoken anger quickly turned to raised voices until we were yelling at one another.

I accused him of caring more about the Resistance than about me.

He accused me of not placing enough importance on the war.

He could’ve reached me over the comms to tell me.

I could’ve not overreacted over missing one dinner.

I stormed out of the room.

He didn’t follow.

That was how I’d ended up on the Falcon. I didn’t want to shed tears in front of Poe, so I’d saved them for the privacy of my ship. I was all cried out as I sat silently in the captain’s chair, absentmindedly flipping a switch on the control board on and off. Poe and I didn’t fight often, not like this at least. So on the occasions it did happen, it wrecked both of us until someone conceded because they simply couldn’t take the separation any longer. I knew I’d been a little dramatic in my accusations, but I’d looked forward to the night for days. But that was only a piece of what was bothering me about the whole thing. I had operated purely from anger, the thing I’d been striving so hard to purge from me. It was reopening every fear I had about myself and my powers. I felt the resentment towards Poe swirling inside of me and there was a part of me that wanted to let it fester. It was eating me alive that despite all the training I was going through, I still didn’t have a handle on my emotions. 

“Hey…” I turned around at the voice to see a sleep deprived Poe standing a cautious distance away from me. His hair was in further disarray, his eyes wearing dark bags from lack of rest and his gaze focused on the ground. I didn’t want to speak first, I was too afraid of what might fly out of my mouth. He hesitantly looked up at me and met my eyes, even after a fight he still looked at me with a softness in his stare. Unable to stay on the receiving end any longer without feeling worse, I turned back around in my seat. His footsteps moved closer until he came to sit next to me in the co-pilot’s chair. We sat in silence for a moment, readjusting to one another’s presence before voicing our thoughts.

Poe was the first one to speak, “I’m sorry, I was an asshole.” “No more so than me,” I said, still unable to look at him without feeling a thrum of anxiety run through my body.

“You were justified in your anger-“ Poe leaned forward and reached his hand out toward my knee.

“No,” I jerked my body away from his loving touch, “Poe, I’m not. I mean, yes, I’m mad at you but I didn’t even hear you out. The only reason you got your explanation in is because I ran out of breath berating you. Yes, I’m right to be upset but not to this extent…” Poe sighed and hung his head down, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He didn’t see me like this often, but the times he did hurt him almost as much as they hurt me.

“Y/n,” he said softly, “That was a pretty standard fight. I missed a date, you yelled and now we’re talking it through. Your reaction’s no different than anyone else’s.” “That’s the point,” I leaned on my knees and pinched the bridge of my nose, “I’m not supposed to be like everyone else. I’m a Jedi, I’m supposed to have a better grip on my emotions and not fly off the handle every time we have a fight.” “Y/n, Jedis are human too,” Poe challenged with a hint of a smile, “You don’t have to be as perfect as you think you need to be.” I rubbed my hands over my face nervously and scooted forward in my chair. Poe’s hands were already waiting to take hold of mine, the rough calloused tips of his fingers from years of flying stroking over my palms gently. 

“I know you know you messed up, and I’m sorry for trying to make you feel worse about it,” I said quietly, sliding one of my hands up to hold the back of his neck, “I don’t think my expectations were realistic for what a relationship looks like in the middle of a war.” “I think we both are finding that out,” Poe agreed, stroking my knee with his free hand, “Sometimes I catch myself acting like I’m still single. I schedule my day without leaving any room for time with you and like tonight, I majorly screwed up.” Our lives were changing along with the war and we needed to find our middle ground. It required constant adjustment and work, but it was worth it. And we’d been through too much to let our relationship suffer at the hands of our own carelessness.

“So we try harder,” I suggested, running my fingers through a few runaway curls, “And we try to have a little more understanding towards one another. Our priority is each other but this fight,” I turned my gaze to the cockpit window, “It’s going to have to come before what we want sometimes.” I turned back to Poe who was watching me with a soft intensity that only he could possess. The hand I had on his neck pulled him down to lean our foreheads against one another. His warm palms slid up my legs to my sides, holding them loosly. We leaned into one another’s lips at the same time, moving together slowly and softly to make up for the harsh words spoken earlier in the evening. Even after we pulled away, Poe pressed several featherlight kisses to the corners of my lips. “I love you more than anything else,” Poe whispered, his hot breath hovering over my lips, “You know that right?” “I do,” I replied quietly, in no need to disturb the tender quiet we’d found, “And I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

————

There was an unofficial day in the Resistance that had been going for quite a few years.

Prank Day.

One day where we played harmless practical jokes on one another. As long as it didn’t endanger anyone’s safety or get in the way of doing our jobs, anything was fair game. The higher ranking officers, including Mom, knew about it and had never made any effort to put a stop to it. Privately, Mom actually enjoyed seeing what people pulled off.

“Finn, I’m his girlfriend, I don’t know if I can go along with this,” I told my friend as we carried recently delivered cargo through base.

“Y/n, c’mon, you’re the only one who has access to the room,” Finn urged, “You don’t even have to do it, just conveniently leave your door open and if I happen to wander in…” My friend was trying his hardest to get me involved in whatever prank he had planned for Poe. He hadn’t even told me what it was, only that it was too good to not be a part of.

“If I say I’ll consider it, will you leave it alone?” I asked.

“Yes,” Finn adjusted the crate to carry it with one hand, pointing his finger at me, “But only if you actually consider it. I swear, you’ll love it…”

I didn’t actually consider it, Prank Day was the furthest thing from my mind. Between training and my duties as a commander, I had enough on my plate.

Until I woke up on said day unable to find my lightsaber. 

Poe had left our room before I’d started my day so my only option was to comm him. It wasn’t until my fifth attempt at reaching him on the comms that he answered…

“Maybe you left it hanging around outside…” His cryptic answer resulted in me standing underneath Tantive IV craning my neck to stare at my lightsaber taped to the underside of the ship. How he had gotten it up there, I didn’t know and didn’t care. All I knew was payback was well and truly deserved.

“I’m in,” I plopped down next to Finn as he sat eating lunch in Rey’s corner of base, “What do you need from me?” Finn pumped his fist before filling me in on the details of the prank. 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Rey asked, she’d had her head buried in one of the Jedi texts and had only heard a few words of Finn’s plan. Once he had explained it to both of us, she was practically snorting with laughter. “Oh, please let me witness this.” “I’ve got a little something extra to add to it, but I’m gonna need your help, Finn...” I said with a sly grin.

Later that day, I was sitting in my and Poe’s quarters awaiting his return. He waltzed through the door casually, a hint of smugness in his smile. 

“How’s your day been?” he asked innocently.

“Nothing new to report,” I shrugged, “Still haven’t found my lightsaber though.” “I’m sure it’ll turn up,” he responded plainly, leaning down to kiss the top of my head, “I’m gonna shower then we can grab dinner. Finn and I were working on something earlier and he got some oil in my hair.” “Well, we all know how protective you are of your hair…” I sighed, earning myself a chuckle before he headed into the refresher.

As soon as I heard the sound of water, I bolted for the door. As I ran down the hall, I raised the comlink I’d been hiding in my hand. “He just got in,” I reported. “Copy that,” Finn replied, “On our way.”

I hurried toward the exit of the ship just as Finn and Rey sped in the opposite direction.

“Hurry,” Rey urged as we passed one another. “On it.” I bounded for the spot where Poe had taped my lightsaber, standing directly under it. It didn’t take much effort as I extended my hand and broke the “foolproof” seal, the weapon flying into my palm. As I sprinted back into the ship, I peeled off the tape until it was restored to its proper state. I made it back to the room with Finn and Rey already standing outside. I punched in the code quickly and the door flew open. 

“He should be almost done,” I breathed, listening to the sounds of the sanisteamer still going.

After a moment, the noise stopped and was replaced with Poe humming some song to himself. The three of us waited with bated breath for the explosive reaction that was surely to come.

“What the hell?!” 

We tried to stifle our giggles to no avail knowing what Poe was seeing right now. He flew out the door calling my name with a towel wrapped around his waist, only to be met by Finn, Rey and I laughing hysterically.

Poe’s hair was bright blue. 

“Did you three do this?” he cried, still clutching the shampoo bottle in a hand and pointing to his head with the other. Our shrieks of laughter and nods were the only answer he received. 

“I have a late meeting tonight and I have to go looking like this?” Poe asked, pulling on his damp curls to amplify his point. “I’ve always thought you looked good in blue,” I said as I tried to catch my breath, still clutching my stomach.

“You’ve always had the best hair in the Resistance, Poe,” Finn replied, gesturing to the blue mop in question, “Now you can wear that title with extra pride.” “I’m serious, guys,” Poe said frustratedly, “This comes out, right?” “Yes, it comes out,” I answered with another small laugh, “I’d help you wash it out but,” I held up my lightsaber casually, “I really need to get some practice time in.” Poe gave a sigh of defeat and took a step towards us, “Okay, that’s fair. It’s pretty good actually. How’d you pull it off?”

Finn took the reins, “I snuck Y/n the dye and she-“

We were interrupted by Poe squirting the remains of the blue shampoo on our heads. Finn, Rey and I shot down the hall and out of his range as he chased the three of us down the thankfully empty hall.

————

Supply closets, as I quickly found out, were not built for two people. 

Poe had been away on a weeklong mission and had just returned. Making it back to our room to welcome him home properly wasn’t going to happen so he’d pulled me into the nearest room. Our lips were currently battling for dominance as our hands found purchase in the others clothing.

“I missed you,” Poe mumbled against my mouth.

“I missed you too,” I whispered in between kisses, “I hate when you’re gone this long.” “Yeah, but you gotta admit,” Poe breathed as he trailed his kisses across my face till he hit my jaw, “It makes our reunions all that sweeter.” My breathy laugh turned to a soft groan as his lips travelled down to my neck. My hands moved frantically against his flight suit, internally cursing whoever had made them so damn complicated to get off. All actions ceased as Poe began to suck a mark onto the delicate patch of skin, I threw one arm around his shoulders and reached a hand up to grip his hair. With each ministration of his mouth, a gentle moan escaped my lips that would encourage him to keep going.

“I’m gonna be wearing high collared shirts in a jungle for days thanks to you,” I breathed, still holding his head to the juncture between my neck and shoulder. “You want me to stop?” Poe teased against my skin, his voice low and husky. His hands had found their way under my shirt and were rubbing circles against my hips. 

My hum of pleasure was all the invitation he needed to dive back in, pressing me back into the wall and aggressively attacking the skin again. I wrapped a leg around his back to push him further against me, needing to feel him as close as possible. I reached down blindly and found the zipper to his flight suit, tugging it down forcefully and slipping it off his shoulders.

Suddenly, the dark room flooded with light. Poe and I broke from each other to see a maintenance worker standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Uh, sorry, Commanders…” he sputtered, “I-I just came to get something but, uh, I’ll come back later.” Before I could protest and come up with an excuse for our suggestive position, he’d quickly shut the door in embarrassment. I threw my head back against the wall and groaned while Poe snickered to himself.

“You do realize the entire base is going to hear about this right?” I asked, unable to see him clearly in the darkness but picturing his smug smile. 

“So?” Poe said, I felt him shrug his shoulders, “Every couple’s snuck off like this, trust me.”

Just as I began to push him off me, he tightened his grip on my waist and eased me back against the wall. One of his hands left my body and I heard a click of the door’s lock before the pressure returned. I felt his hot breath against my collarbone, pulling me back down into his orbit and surrendering to the sensation. “Gotta finish what we started, sweetheart…”

————

Mine and Poe’s schedules exhausted us enough that sleep almost always came easy to us. But sound slumber was a gift neither of us typically received.

I woke up to the sound of distressed moans and the absence of Poe’s arms wrapped around me. Sitting up and blinking my eyes in the darkness, I caught the silhouette of Poe from the soft light we kept turned on. He was rolled over onto his side, clutching the blankets in his fists and whimpering.

“Poe,” I whispered, shifting to kneel beside him and gently gripping his shoulder, “Baby, wake up.” “Mmphf,” he moaned, “No, no, get out.” “Poe, wake up,” I raised my voice slightly, “You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”

“No, get-get out of my head,” he breathed, his voice saturated with desperation, “Don’t hurt her.” I knew exactly what nightmare he was having.

“Baby, I’m okay,” I urged, shaking his shoulder with both hands, “Wake up.” His eyes flew open and he shot up in bed with a cry, I could make out the single tear trail down his cheek. Unfortunately, this was nothing new to me. Much like myself, Poe suffered from the same horrible dream night after night. 

“Poe, you’re okay,” I said soothingly, running my hands down his arm, “It was a nightmare.” His chest rose and fell as he fought to catch his breath, he ran a hand over his face and sniffled. He turned to me and gripped both my wrists gently, looking me over to make sure I was real. “I’m okay,” I assured, turning my hand over to lace my fingers with his.

He breathlessly nodded, his eyes frantically searching my face for reassurance. “He was in my head, Y/n, he went in and the first thing he saw was you.” “I know, I know,” I hummed, pushing myself into his lap where he usually needed me on the bad nights, “But he didn’t get me. I’m here, he can’t hurt either of us.” As Poe’s racing thoughts slowed down and he processed what I was saying, he surged forward and collected me in his arms. His grip was tighter on nights like this, in his nightmare he faced the reality of some horrible fate befalling me. He needed more than my verbal reassurance, he needed to feel me to quell the lingering panic. Whether he needed to be held, to be kissed or to lose himself in me, I gave him whatever would return him to me fully. This particular night, all he needed was to be close. We fell asleep with Poe’s head resting on my chest as I soothingly ran my fingers through his curls.

The next night wasn’t any easier.

The thickness of the smoke had decreased since the last time I’d visited the familiar nightmare. Things were becoming clearer, metaphorically and literally.

I stood amidst the flames, finally able to make out where I was. After so many years, I should have been able to recognize the location. Perhaps I’d been in denial…

It was my uncle’s former training temple.

The wound I continuously tried so hard to close threatened to open up again. For once in the years of being plagued by the dream, I kept calm. Even at the sight of the location where through the cruelest circumstances, I’d been set on my path to become a Jedi, I held firm to my peace.

“Y/n,” a familiar voice called, I turned around to see a face I’d never seen before. Not in this form at least…

Obi-Wan.

He’d been the figure clothed in brown all these years.

He was so much younger, his white head of hair and beard a sandy shade of brown. His tan robes shorter than that ones I’d seen him in, but his dark brown cloak the exact same. Just like the soft expression on his face as our eyes met. 

He’d been calling out to me this whole time.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said, “You’re stronger than you know.” “Of what?” I asked as I walked with urgency towards him, “You’ve been saying that to me for years now and I still don’t know what it’s meant.” My grandfather’s gaze was no longer on me, but something behind me. I didn’t need to look to know exactly who stood firmly planted in my subconscious state, just as he did in my conscious.

“Don’t be afraid,” Ren said, his voice cool and balanced, so unlike him in reality. He spoke with a knowledgable authority that send a chill down my spine. “There’s more darkness in you than you know, just think of what you can do with it.” I was prepared to verbally strike him down and wield my Jedi status over him. I was ready to tell him he’d lost, till I turned to see bodies strewn across the ground. Soldiers. Resistance soldiers. Pilots. Maintenance workers. Strategists. Seemingly everyone that made up our band of rebels was strewn on the ground motionless. Worse…Taking one look at their wounds told me they had not died by blaster, but by lightsaber.

My hands trembled as they flew to cover my mouth, tears trailing down my cheeks as if they’d been waiting to fall. I was overcome. “Y/n,” my grandfather came to stand next to me, “Don’t listen to him. You know who you are.” Any other time I’d have listened to him. But at the sight of my comrades dead, I couldn’t be reasoned with. I fell to my knees with a shriek of horror, ignoring as Obi-Wan dropped alongside me and placed his hands on my shoulders. It didn’t matter how far I ran or how hard I tried, the fear I’d fought my entire life would always find me…

“Y/n, wake up. Sweetheart, you’re dreaming!” I startled awake with the same wet cheeks and thin layer of sweat across my brow that I’d gained in the nightmare. My chest heaved as I struggled to regain a normal breathing pattern. I turned onto my back and fell against Poe’s arm, he was caging me in and staring down at me. “You’re okay, it was just a dream,” he whispered, one of his hands coming to stroke a strand of hair out of my face.

I scrunched my eyes shut and nodded, trying to erase the image of so many good people dead at my hand. It wasn’t reality, I knew that, but it didn’t change the simple fact that my fear was. There was no escaping my mind.

“What do you need?” Poe asked softly.

“You.”

I gripped his biceps and pulled him down on top of me, our lips melting together blissfully. As hard as Poe would try if I asked, he couldn’t fix me. He couldn’t erase my anxieties, couldn’t go back in time and change my journey to where I’d ended up. But just him being there, willing to try and see me through the bad nights was enough. It was so much more than enough.

————

Cantina trips had always been something to look forward to. Shots and cocktails would flow freely and bring an immense amount of regret the next day, but we’d still repeat the cycle the next time around.

We never went in with the fear of possible death or capture.

Rey, Finn, Poe and I had been dispatched to Coruscant to a high end bar. We were supposed to meet an informant who had information on the First Order’s most recent weapon dealings. It was too good a chance to pass up, assuming he was even telling the truth. 

“I feel ridiculous in this get-up,” Rey’s voice whispered in my ear through the hidden comms device.

“Be thankful you have pants at least,” I chuckled softly as I sipped my drink, sneaking a peek across the room at her table. She was dressed in the tightest leather pants I’d ever seen and a long sleeved top with a plunging neckline. A stark contrast from her usual beige and white Jedi robes. I had been sewn into a strapless dress that only covered what it absolutely had to, including my lightsaber. “But we’re all in agreement that I look great, right?” Poe chimed in, he was seated at the opposite end of the bar. He’d exchanged his worn leather jacket for a sleek new neon colored one, a sheer shirt and pants just as tight as Rey’s. We weren’t supposed to be acknowledging each other’s presence but I’d snuck a few quick glances at his ass. 

“How’d you fit that ego through the door, Dameron?” Finn asked, he was nursing an ale near the entrance to the bar. His stylish jumpsuit, even with a few buttons undone, was the least revealing outfit out of the four of us. 

“Just fine, thanks for the concern, buddy,” Poe replied dryly before clearing his throat, “We know what this guy looks like?” “Nope,” I said with my lips to my glass, “All we know is that he’ll be carrying a cane. Not a very common feature so he shouldn’t be hard to spot.”

“Excuse me?” a voice from behind me spoke up, I turned to see a groomed gentleman gesturing to the stool next to me, “Is this seat taken?” I scanned him quickly, no cane. “I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for someone.” 

“A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t be kept waiting,” the man said as he defiantly took the seat, “I pity whoever decided they had better things to do than have a drink with you.” I had to stop from laughing at the lines he was using, coming from the right guy would’ve made them sound smooth. But this one just came off sounding like a cocky asshole and not the kind that I had a penchant for. “Do I need to come over and kick that guy’s ass?” Poe’s voice rang in my earpiece. 

“Trust me,” I smiled politely at the man, “Your pity would be better spent elsewhere.” He nodded and smirked, his eyes drinking in my exposed body so intensely that I started to squirm. My senses were telling me that he was bad news. “I haven’t seen you around here, what brings you to Coruscant?” “Business,” I replied evenly, trying to figure out how to get him to leave.

“Let me guess,” the guy rubbed his chin before snapping his fingers, “You’re a model.” “Something like that,” I said with a small smile that he wouldn’t understand, “My face is all over the galaxy.” “What a lucky galaxy,” he responded, I had to physically stop my face from scrunching into a cringe.

“What a charmer,” I chuckled before taking a final sip of my drink, “It’s been lovely chatting with you but I really am waiting on a friend.” The man held his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I understand. But you can’t blame a guy for taking a shot. Hope you have a fun night.” He stuck his hand out as he rose to his feet, I foolishly took it and shook it. As soon as we touched, he whipped out a blaster and pressed the barrel of it to my neck. 

“Lovely to make your acquaintance, Miss Solo,” he smirked.

Other patrons were shrieking at the scene that had been started. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to get any better where we were concerned…

“Let her go!” Poe ordered, he’d made his way from across the bar in a flash and had his blaster aimed in record time.

“Guys, we’ve got stormtroopers headed our way,” Finn announced in our earpieces, “This is about to get ugly.” “Y/n has been made,” Rey reported, “It’s about to get uglier than you think.” “This is your lucky day, Miss Solo,” my wannabe assassin said cooly, “The Supreme Leader has been looking for you. He’ll be so happy to hear that we’ve found you.”

“Do me a favor and give him a message,” I smiled, my eyes flicking to Finn and Rey whose hands were ghosting over their hidden weapons. Poe gave me a nod to signal they were ready. “He’s going to have to try harder than this.” Poe used the butt of his blaster to hit the guy’s head, instantly knocking him out as he dropped to the ground. I unholstered my lightsaber from under my dress just as stormtroopers flooded through the bar’s doors. Rey launched herself off of her table and activated her saber while Finn was already shooting troopers down. Screams erupted from all around us and the innocent bystanders were taking cover underneath tables and behind the bar. Poe and Finn joined them in seeking cover but never stopped firing shots. Rey and I deflected the trooper’s attempts to take us down, some of their shots bouncing off our lightsabers and hitting them.

“Ready?” I raised my voice so she could hear me over the gunfire.

“Ready,” she replied, making her way to stand at my side. 

We extended our hands at the same time and used our combined power to send the group of troops tumbling through the doorway and crashing through the glass windows.

“Everybody out,” Poe shouted, sliding back out from behind the bar with Finn. The customers listened and began flooding out both the back door of the building. The remaining stormtroopers were scrambling back to their feet to search for us, but we blended into the crowd easily. We pushed our way out into the chilly night air with the fearful people who were regretting their decision to go for a drink.

“That went well,” Rey breathed as we ran through the alleyway behind the bar. “Either the contact was lying the whole time or they got word of the meeting and killed him,” Poe theorized as we navigated our path with only the neon lighting of the building fronts as our guide.

“Chewie, get the ship ready to go,” I said into the comlink, receiving an agreeable roar in response. Luckily the bar was located on the edge of the main part of the city. The Falcon was too easily recognized to land in a hanger so Chewie had it parked on the outskirts of the city, anxiously awaiting our return.

As the Falcon came into sight, blaster fire flew past us. I spared a glance behind us to see a few stray stormtroopers chasing after us. Finn, who was an exceptional shot, took care of as many as he could and succeeded in protecting our group as we hurried aboard the ship.

“Finn and Rey on guns,” I directed as we sprinted down the hallway, “Chewie, I need you to keep an eye on the hyperdrive. It gave us trouble getting here. Poe, with me.” Poe and I dashed to the cockpit and settled into our seats, I gave him credit for not taking the pilot’s seat. He knew it was my ship thus, I was calling the shots. “How you feeling about this?” he asked as I lifted the ship off the ground and flew us above the city. He already knew what trouble we were going to be flying into.

“Considering the hyperdrive is on the fritz meaning lightspeed is a question mark and we’re almost definitely going to have First Order ships waiting for us,” I said, giving him a quick smile, “Never better.” I didn’t have time to see the smirk I know I’d earned as I maneuvered us out of the atmosphere where surprise surprise, there was a small fleet of TIE Fighter’s awaiting us. 

“We’ve got company,” I reported into my headset, “I’m going in.” Poe adjusted the necessary controls as I flew headfirst into the center of the group of ships. They started firing, shaking the ship every few seconds when they actually managed to make a hit. There were six TIE’s that I now had following me in a neat line.

“If you swing around,” Rey said over the headset, “Finn and I can handle it from there.” “You read my mind,” I replied, hanging a sharp left so us and the line of ships were parallel. I watched as Finn and Rey perfectly executed the idea and took out four of the six. 

“Chewie, how we looking?” Poe shouted to the back of the ship, a barrage of muffled wookie roars coming in reply, “I have no idea what he just said. “Not my fault you haven’t learned Wookie yet,” I said as I dodged what would’ve been a critical shot if I’d been a second late, “He said he thinks he’s almost done.” “Think?” The remaining two TIE’s had managed to get in front of us and were flying straight towards us. Instinct, and a bit of the signature Solo recklessness, took over my body and I flew faster toward them before turning the ship on its side.

“Guys, I’m gonna set you guys up,” I called to Finn and Rey first, “Chewie, you better hope that hyperdrive works. Poe, get ready to take us to lightspeed.” “When do you want me to do that?”

“You’ll know when,” I said before slipping between the two ships. Quick as I could, I turned the Falcon upside down and dove straight down. As the fighters turned and made the mistake of flying parallel to one another, I timed it perfectly and pulled back up while underneath them. Like we were functioning as one body, Finn and Rey took their shots and blew up the ships simultaneously seconds before Poe took his cue to successfully send us to lightspeed.

As soon as I’d set our course for Ajan Kloss, Poe and I sunk back into our seats. “Will you do something for me?” “Anything,” Poe replied, brushing his fingers against my hand.

“Will you admit that I could give you a run for your money at the title of ‘Best Pilot?” 

Poe retracted his hand immediately and stood up, “Except that.”

I laughed out loud as he retreated from the cockpit, “I just saved your ass, Dameron.” “Thank you,” he called from the hallways, I snickered as I got up to follow him.

————

Days after the failed mission, I was settled in mine and Poe’s room buried in my data pad. It had been raining all day so Rey and I were excused from training which gave me a chance to catch up on my clerical work. Everything was as normal as normal could be. 

I crossed the room to retrieve something. 

I stopped in my tracks.

Someone was there, but not in the room.

In my mind.

Y/n.

The data pad fell from my hands, the glass screen shattering around my feet.

Ren.

————

A/N: Did you honestly think I was going to let this end on a happy note? 😂 We got angst for days coming up... Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you’d like to be tagged! ✨

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