#started playing this game back in 2016. just now the other day finally completed the community center for the first time ever. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supernovafics · 3 years

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇

pairing: dylan o’brien x best friend fem!reader

summary: in which dylan has been your best friend for as long as you could remember. your busy lives and schedules may have pushed both of your lives in vastly different directions as you’d gotten older, but somehow you two would always be led back to your hometown, and each other, during the holidays. however, one moment causes all of that to change.

warnings: angst (what else is new), some fluffiness, mentions of past trauma (the maze runner incident), existential crises, explicit language

word count: 3.6k words

author’s note: idk why i decided to write something christmas related in the summer but it happened lmao (also i feel like it’s slightly important to mention that this takes place in 2016)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The rocks being thrown at your window were not what woke you up. Instead, you had been lying awake for hours; getting little to no sleep was something that you had become used to at this point.

However, on this specific night— or morning, depending on how one looked at it— you were glad that your sleep had been restless once again because it made it easy for you to get out of bed and walk to your window when the rocks began hitting it.

There was really no need for you to push open the curtains and check who was doing the throwing because, of course, it was Dylan. Ever since he moved onto your street in Hermosa Beach in middle school and the two of you easily became friends, he was the only person that would ever wake you up in the middle of the night with the soft pings of rocks, especially on this specific day at this specific time.

You waved at him and gestured that you would be down in a moment. You slipped on a random pair of sweatpants along with a hoodie and then placed the Christmas gift that you bought for him in the pocket. The item was small enough to fit in the not too big pocket of your hoodie; however, it did awkwardly protrude a bit.

All of this was a sort of unspoken tradition that the pair of you had developed over the many years you’d known each other. Meeting at five in the morning on Christmas day, walking to the beach that was only a few blocks away from your respective childhood homes, and exchanging Christmas gifts with each other as you both watched the sunrise. It started when you were in ninth grade, and you hadn't missed a year since, not even when the ending of high school pushed your lives in vastly different directions, especially since Dylan graduated a year before you and was almost immediately thrust into his acting career.

But, it didn't matter that Dylan's career took off, and you eventually decided to go to college in Santa Barbara, because, no matter what, you both would always come back for the holidays.

When you opened your front door and saw Dylan lingering by the sidewalk no more than ten feet away, you were quick to go toward him and pull him in for a tight embrace. It actually hadn't been too long since you’d last seen him, maybe only five or six months, but for some reason, it still felt as if the last time he was in front of you was last December.

"Hey," Dylan breathed out in a short greeting, his arms wounding around your waist.

“Hey to you too," You responded, a small smile gracing your features when you both pulled away, and you looked up at him. "How have you been?"

It was quiet for a few moments as you waited for him to answer the question, but eventually, you were met with no verbal response, and instead, Dylan simply shrugged. The short action made your heart constrict in the most painful way, and it was then that you noticed the light remnants of a scar peeking out from behind his dark hair that covered the majority of his forehead. You were quick to peel your eyes away from the scar and instead cast them down at your Converse-covered feet, but that didn't stop the memories from quickly coming back.

The Maze Runner accident had happened back in March, but to you, and you knew to Dylan as well, it felt as if it was just yesterday, especially considering the fact that he was still dealing with the unavoidable repercussions from it.

"Wanna walk?" You asked, finally looking up at him once again.

Dylan nodded. "Yeah."

A silence that could only be deemed as comfortable lingered between them as the two of you took the five-minute walk to the beach and sat down side by side on one of the random empty benches.

"Merry Christmas, Y/N," Dylan said as he handed a present over to you. The present was messily wrapped, something that was not at all uncommon when receiving gifts from Dylan, and the sight of it made you smile.

Before you unwrapped the gift, you pulled out the one you had for him and handed it over. "Merry Christmas, Dyl."

The nostalgic sound of wrapping paper ripping could be heard as you tore into your gift. A simultaneous shocked and happy yelp emitted from your lips when you held up a Harry Potter t-shirt. But, it wasn't just any Harry Potter t-shirt; it was one with a version of the Goblet of Fire movie poster on it, which was your all-time favorite movie in the series.

"Holy shit."

"It's the original merch that was sold when the movie came out," Dylan told you. He hadn't opened his gift yet, and instead, he was playing with the green bow placed on top of it; he always liked to see your reaction first.

You looked at Dylan and then back down at the shirt as you processed his words. "Wow, double holy shit. I would put it on if it wasn't freezing right now."

Dylan laughed a bit. "Very understandable."

“Why haven't you opened yours yet? I'm dying to see what you think of it," You said. You were now holding the t-shirt to your chest, genuinely feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning again.

Dylan finally began unwrapping your gift to him, and when all of the paper was peeled off, there was a square box. "Aw, a plain white box. Thank you so much. This is what I've always wanted."

You rolled your eyes and playfully bumped him with your shoulder. "Ha ha. Please save all of these bad jokes for your stand-up act; I can't wait to boo you off the stage along with everyone else."

"So, what I'm hearing is you don't think that becoming a comedian is going to be the next best career move for me?" Dylan asked. He attempted to make the question sound as serious as possible, but there was a joking undertone to his words.

You bit back your laughter. "Please just open the box already so I don't have to hurt your feelings by truthfully answering that question."

"Okay, we'll circle back to that topic later," Dylan smiled and then finally opened the white box to reveal a slightly faded baseball. When he picked it up, he ran his thumb over the black signature written on it. "Now it's my turn to say holy shit."

You could feel yourself smiling at his awestruck reaction, and you wondered if that was what you looked like when you saw the Harry Potter shirt. The baseball was signed by one of the players of the New York Mets that had been Dylan's favorite player when he was younger, and he'd even caught a ball hit by him when he went to a game before he moved to California.

"I've had this idea for years, but I could never find a baseball signed by him," You began explaining, the excitement clear in your voice. "But, last month, someone named Paul Todd posted this on eBay and I immediately bought it. God bless that old man. It's completely authentic and everything."

Dylan was quiet for a few moments as he simply looked at the baseball in his hands, a small joyful smile on his face, and it made you happy to see him so genuinely elated with the present.

"This just made my gift look like shit," He finally said, a light laugh falling from his lips.

"I have always been the superior gift giver. I think that's my hidden talent," You responded with a playful smirk.

Dylan placed the baseball back in its box and then looked at you. "Next year you will receive the best gift ever from me. It will completely top everything that you have ever given me."

"You're saying that as if I should feel upset about receiving a trip to Italy as a Christmas gift."

"A trip to Italy?"

"In my strong opinion, that would be the best gift ever," You said with a smile and then looked down at the t-shirt, which was now in your lap. "But, anyway, I don't think this gift is shit. I'm in love with this shirt already."

Dylan let out a joking, overexaggerated sigh in relief. "Phew, okay, since you think this gift is great, that means I don't have to do the trip to Italy next year."

"What? Did I say I like this t-shirt? I hate it! Harry Potter actually su— Fuck, I can't say this with a straight face," You laughed, and Dylan was quick to join in with you.

The joking statements leading up to the laughter hadn't even been the funniest things ever, but it didn't matter because this was probably the hardest you had laughed in a while, and you were both glad and unsurprised that it was with one of your favorite people in the entire world.

You missed joking around and laughing with him. You missed simply being with him.

Eventually, the laughter died off, but there was still a smile planted firmly on your face. You looked ahead at the darkness in front of you and the ocean that looked completely black; it was still kind of early, so the sun hadn't begun to rise just yet. Your back pressed against the wooden bench, and you let out a small sigh, your head finding Dylan's shoulder as you leaned against him.

"How have you been?" You asked him, your words coming out both soft and slightly quiet, and before the mood became too serious with your question that was nothing but serious, you attempted to lighten it. "And please no shrugs as a response this time. I don't wanna get a headache due to my head bouncing off your shoulder."

Dylan let out a breath of a laugh at your final statements but refrained from answering the question for a few moments.

After what felt like forever, he sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I honestly don't know. My mind has felt so fucked lately, thinking about everything. I swear I've been feeling every feeling known to man these past months."

"What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

"I'm really happy with you. This is probably the only normal and familiar thing I've experienced in a while. But, of course, there's still that confused feeling in the back of my mind revolving around everything else." He paused for a brief moment before continuing, his next words came out quieter. "I don't even know if I want to go back to acting."

You lifted your head off his shoulder and looked at him as you pulled his hand into yours and gave it a light, reassuring squeeze.

"No matter what you decide. I'll be right there to support you," You told him and then added a "bro" at the end of her sentence along with a small smile. Whenever things became too deep in a conversation you two were having, one of you would always throw a "bro" or "dude" in there to bring some playfulness to the mood.

The corners of Dylan's perked up a bit. "So, you'll support me when I decide to become a comedian?"

You were unable to stifle your light laughter. "Yes, fine, fuck it. I'll be the loudest one laughing at all of your shows."

Dylan squeezed your hand back because he knew exactly how reluctantly true your words were. "Don't worry, I promise not to put you through that."

"Thank you."

"So, how have you been?"

"No."

"Oh, come on," Dylan said as he playfully poked your side. "I'm not gonna be the only one exposing my feelings."

You sighed and then hesitantly nodded. "Okay, okay."

The truth was you had been far from good lately. Your life was moving, but for some reason, you felt like you weren’t moving with it.

You felt stuck.

Stuck in a confusing mindset where you had absolutely no idea what you wanted to do with your life. You thought that identity crises usually happened in high school, but apparently, yours had come five years late. But, you knew that this delayed identity crisis had been your own doing because you had convinced herself that you would figure everything out once you were in college; and you were both lucky and smart enough to receive a full ride to UCSB.

And although you were finishing up your Master's degree in Creative Writing and had a TA job at the university with the department, which was the reason behind why you could even pay for the Master's program, something in your "should be great" life simply did not feel right.

However, you felt absolutely terrified to say any of that out loud because admitting it would only finally make that statement a wholehearted truth, instead of just a spiraling thought in your mind. And even though Dylan was your best friend and you knew you could tell him anything and not receive any sort of judgment, it still felt hard to let the words leave your lips.

You thought about the way to perfectly word everything, but nothing felt right. You pulled your hand away from Dylan's and covered your face as you let out an exasperated breath. "I can't figure how to say it all."

Dylan placed an arm around you and then mimicked the same question you had asked him not too long ago. "What are you feeling right now? In this moment?"

You would have both laughed and smiled at the fact that he was using your exact words if the current circumstances were different.

"Scared," You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what the fuck I wanna do anymore, and actually, I don't think I really ever did. I only went to college because of the scholarship, and I convinced myself that I would figure my life out when I got there. And for a while, things felt right because I found creative writing and genuinely enjoyed it, but something doesn't feel right anymore. And I actually do like school. Because it's stable, and I am doing things, even if it's taking a dumbass test. But, it's about to be over soon, and I have no idea what I'm gonna do."

Your words were coming out like vomit, and nothing could stop it because finally, everything you had been feeling for so long was out of your head and put into the open.

"And don't get me wrong, I do love to write, but I don't know, I just can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life," You admitted and then let your next words come out quietly. "Honestly, I can't see myself doing anything. I'm so unhappy here."

You did not say it aloud, but you didn't think you were ever fully content there. Aside from Dylan and your parents, you never truly liked California. You had grown up there all your life, and although there were millions of people that adored the state, you felt the exact way someone from a state like Wyoming probably felt.

Dylan did not verbally respond to your long confession at first; instead, he simply pulled your confused and stressed self in for a hug, and you let out the simultaneous sigh and breath that you had been metaphorically holding in for years at this point.

"Maybe you should take a break," Dylan finally said; his arms were still around you, an action that made you feel completely comforted. "Right after high school, you went straight to college, and I don't think you've ever really taken a break to really think about what you actually want. Like, maybe, it's becoming a zookeeper."

Your laugh was slightly muffled by the fact that your face was pressed into the warmth of Dylan's chest. "Zookeeper?"

"I don't know," He laughed too. "You said you would support me in whatever the fuck I decide to do, and I'll do the exact same for you."

Somehow a smile found its way on your face. "A zookeeper and a comedian. What a fucking dream team."

Another laugh fell from Dylan's lips. "The best fucking dream team."

"But, honestly, I wish I could've known sooner that this is how you've been feeling. I would've been telling you to slow down so long ago, but you seemed content with everything," Dylan told you and gave you another light squeeze. "Please take a break and don't stress yourself out over the future when your next semester is over. Just relax for the first time. You can even come stay with me in LA for a little bit if that's where you wanna take your break. I'll be here for you, Y/N. Always."

Something about his words hit you hard. The wholehearted honesty and sincerity behind his statement shouldn't have surprised you, but it did. And the worry he had for you resembled the same concern you had for him when the accident happened. You two were best friends, so it should not have been a shock that you would worry about each other, but still, in that moment and for you, it was shocking because it felt like so much more than just that.

"Me too," You whispered, finally responding to his previous statement.

The long embrace came to an end with you being the one to pull away; however, you did not pull away far enough for you both to become completely detached from one another. Dylan's arms were still around your waist, and yours were still around the nape of his neck, and your faces were dangerously close. Your hand somehow took on a mind of its own as it reached around and cupped Dylan's cheek. The miniscule confusion and tickle of panic that began to prick at the back of your mind because of the action were not enough to make you pull away.

The slight way that Dylan leaned into your soft touch was the catalyst for you to take the leap and lean in the tiniest bit to close the small distance between the two of you, your lips almost too easily finding his. The inward sigh of contentment you emitted when Dylan almost immediately kissed you back made you realize that kissing him was the one thing currently happening in your life that actually felt right.

Later, when thinking back to that specific moment, you would wonder if that "rightness" had always been there between you both.

However, that right feeling, which was both comfortable and familiar, was quickly replaced with dread and angst, at least on your part. Your mind was beginning to fully catch up with your actions, and it immediately told you that the current action was both bad and stupid, and there were many, many reasons that proved that.

Maybe there were moments where a younger, and even present-day, you did want more to happen between you and Dylan, but you would always push that thought away because you knew that your and Dylan's friendship was so much more valuable.

And then it was the fact that your lives were nothing alike. Even though you were immensely confused about where your life was going, you could say for certain that it wasn't going in the same direction as Dylan's; an acting career that he genuinely loved and enjoyed too much to truly give up. Something deep down told you that, and you could feel the truthfulness behind the thought. The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect.

You abruptly pulled away, not just from the kiss but from Dylan's body entirely, moving to the edge of the bench you were on. Your hands covered your face in nothing but pure embarrassment and regret, and you wished that you could take back the last minute and a half of your life. And you also absolutely hated that you couldn't help but notice how much colder your body felt now that it was away from Dylan's.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry. Fuck. That kiss— it was a mistake. I'm really sorry." Your words came out rushed and fumbled, and it probably did not make much sense, but you just hoped that there was at least a little bit of coherency with them.

As much as you wanted to look at Dylan, you refused to do so because you knew that you would only see the regret you were feeling written clear across his face.

"Hey, it's okay, Y/N. Everything's fine. Don't worry," You heard him say but could hear the uncertainty in his voice as if he really didn't know if everything truly was fine. And you knew that it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

The holidays were the only time your lives would truly intersect, and you had just completely ruined that.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts <3

((((already potentially thinking about doing a part 2 to this….. but idk…))))

#dylan o’brien #dylan o’brien x reader #dylan o'brien imagine #dylan o'brien fanfic #dylan o'brien x y/n #dylan o'brien x fem!reader #dylan o'brien gifs

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petalfearrising · 2 years

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Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is the Best Video Game

Now that I'm back on this hellsite (affectionately), I'm going to do something that I never did back in the day: actually post about stuff that I like. To start, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.

I've played this game about 12 times. In fact, I make a point to play this game once a year as a New Year's tradition. This last year, I even streamed my attempt to speedrun it to an audience of at least two people (Including one ass hat who burst in to tell me Betty White died mid-run). I mention all of this not just to show how much of this game I have played, but how much this game has stayed in my consciousness, occupied my gray matter, and overrun the little jukebox in my head. I can't even make it through a day without hearing somebody screaming RULES OF NATURE because without it I simply will not have the raw fury needed to spite Death every day.

Now let me take you on a journey.

In December 2014, I was neck-deep in my first Steam Winter Sale. I had only entered college the year before and just bought my first desktop. Now able to buy/play any video game I wanted without my parents looking over my shoulder (or purchase history), I decided that I'd finally get into the Metal Gear franchise. Lucky me, there's one on sale for $5.99, called Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. I buy it and a mass of other games (including Divinity: Original Sin, Transistor, Rogue Legacy... and a bunch still hiding in the backlogs). Don't know what happened, cause I straight up didn't play it until August 2015. I think I was modding Skyrim for the first time.

Anyway, I played it, jammed to the soundtrack, had some trouble with the Armstrong fight (the mouse controls for Blade Mode are still kinda rubbish on PC), and finished the game over the course of a week. MGR:R proceeded to yeet out of my memory banks, save for the occasional RULES OF NATURE or A Stranger I Remain.

Cut to December 2016.

I did not have a good December 2016, watching America bumblefuck its way to electing a racist Cheeto president. I was looking for something to make sense of it all.

Then it hit me harder than Armstrong's nanomachine encrusted fist.

youtube

I knew I had heard that damn dogwhistle somewhere before, and I found it again (actually, it might have been Tumblr that reminded me... I have the memory of a Kirby plush from Walmart.

Anyway, I decided to play MGR:R again, this time taking in the lyrics of the songs, the miscellaneous Codec messages, the stories of all the major villains, heck I even played through Jetstream Sam and Blade Wolf's DLC missions that I *completely missed* the first time around.

My first playthrough was like a solid date: a lot to love, but maybe came on a little strong and left me reeling so hard I had to ghost them just to put all the pieces together.

Date 2 made me want to sign the paperwork right there and then, cause I'd found The One.

It has been nearly seven years since I first played MGR:R, and every time I find something new. I'll gladly share some of the things I've found if anyone is interested (and even if you aren't, I'm gonna tell ya anyway. B)

But to bamboozle your brains like this game did to me, I'm going to whallop you with the game's Big Ideas and let you sort it out while I finish getting this account set up.

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is a direct refutation of the Forever Wars post-9/11, a character study about a man unsure if he cuts people in half for the sake of justice or for his own personal enjoyment, a metacommentary about the ways video games trivialize moral choices by providing "correct" answers while indulging in gory glory, and an accidentally prophetic take on the rise of the Alt-Right & how fascist demagogues charm and manipulate a ready-made audience.

Aight, gonna get food, back in a week or twelve, I dunno.

#metal gear rising revengeance #metal gear rising #I will explain in egregious detail #but I'm not doing it on an empty stomach #reminder to eat #also drink some water #RIP Betty White #Feel free to ask questions about any of this so I can answer them as I go #Yes I am going to talk about the Cat.#If you don't know which Cat I'm talking about go play MGR:R #or watch someone play it (it ain't long)#Youtube

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chocosvt · 3 years

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⚬ pairing: seungcheol x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 4342 ⚬ warnings: brief drug mention ⚬ genres: mainly just fluff! college/uni!au

✧✎ synopsis: your longtime campus crush just received an interesting dare: to ask you out on a date. while the circumstances are questionable, you aren’t going to decline. maybe this is your ticket to romance.

✧✎ a/n: if this title or plot sounds familiar, then that’s bc i finally accomplished a goal of mine: to rewrite i dare you. this was a fic i originally wrote in 2016!! i did change some aspects, so not everything is identical. PLS ENJOY ;w;

The bells to the café door jingled.

Normally, you wouldn’t be so attentive about the customers filtering in and out, but at that moment, your gaze shot over the lid of your laptop like a harpoon. It was roughly the right time, the right day. According to your judgement, this was when they usually came for their morning coffees. Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol: a very popular trio amongst the likings of your campus.

Jeonghan was a nursing student. Clean-cut, charming to a degree of annoyance, and always ordered a boring black coffee. The second boy, Joshua, was cute enough to stop you in your tracks and force a double-take. However, he liked mathematics, numbers, weird formulas which looked more torture than learning. He preferred lattes with foam. And then there was Seungcheol. You wouldn’t call him your true love, because you didn’t know him all that well, and as far as he was concerned you were the lunatic who accidentally set pages of Joshua’s chemistry homework on fire. But that was a story for another day (you haven’t been near that Yankee candle since).

Nonetheless, you were crushing on him. Badly. To the point where you arrived at the café early, pretending to type a document on your laptop, just so you could flit your eyes every so often at his table while he slurped his chocolate mocha. You even had their scheduling memorized. It was a bit weird, and you would be the first to admit such a thing, but nothing was going to thwart you from daydreaming about those eyes of his. Or that dazzling smile. His short bursts of laughter which were usually tweezed out at Jeonghan pulling some stupid prank on Joshua. Everything about you adored him.

The trio gathered at their usual table, sat obliquely to your nook by the window. You had opened an older document that was already finished, pretended to tap against the keys while they ate a small breakfast before class. Something was different. They were giggling more than usual. And you couldn’t help but blatantly stare with concern when Joshua tore open a salt packet and poured it straight on his tongue. Jeonghan was grinning so widely that you were positive his face must be aching, and Seungcheol cackled into his fist while Joshua immediately grabbed for his latte.

A game. They were playing some sort of game.

Once Joshua had recovered, you noted that he began surveying the café, running his narrowed gaze to each table.

The second he found you huddled in the corner, attempting to shrink behind your laptop and pretend your presence was nothing but invisible, Joshua leaned into Seungcheol’s side to make a very smiley whisper. Pretend I’m working, pretend I’m working on something so damn important I can’t look up for even a second, you reiterated to yourself quietly, ignoring the panic ballooning inside you. A minute later, someone had just pulled out the chair across from you. They sat down with a slight groan, clasping their hands together.

Of course, it was Seungcheol.

“Hey.” He said, watching as you tentatively lowered the lid of your laptop, probably wondering why the hell you looked so stunned.

“What are you, um, doing?” You asked.

Seungcheol could not be sitting across from you just because he wanted to. It was impossible. And as much as that stung to admit, you knew the truth was simply that. He was definitely put up to this.

“We know each other pretty well, correct?” The boy completely ignored your question. “I know that you set Josh’s chem notes on fire. We take toxicology together. Need I say more?”

“Wow,” you replied, twiddling your fingers anxiously under the table, “that’s a whole two things. I can’t even count that high.”

“We can’t all be mathematicians,” Seungcheol moved the conversation along while he angled a white jar of sugar, “and I guess I should tell you, I’m in a predicament, which involves you.”

Your hands squeezed together so firmly that they nearly moulded into permanent fists. Seungcheol was staring at you now rather than flickering his gaze between the objects on the table, with those eyes as dark as sapphire. You were burning up, sweltering, felt like you needed to burst from your clothes and bathe in ice.

“A predicament?”

Seungcheol folded his muscular arms on the table and nodded. “Yeah, I got a dare from Josh. To ask you out. The thing is, I’m not supposed to tell you. But you seem like a nice girl.”

You swallowed very tautly and pushed down the lid of your laptop a little more. Over Seungcheol’s shoulder, you spotted both Joshua and Jeonghan observing, chuckling amongst themselves.

“Another thing,” Seungcheol added, raking a hand through his black locks, “I don’t want to lose to tweedle-dumb and tweedle-idiot over there – you can decide who’s who – so you should accept.”

Straightening your posture against the chair, you decided to spell out the situation, more for your sake than Seungcheol’s. “Let me get this straight. You got dared to ask me out. You have nothing better to do tomorrow night, so you accepted it. And I don’t have a choice.”

“Your wording is a bit disparaging. But essentially, yeah.” He leaned back with a gorgeous smile, turning up his palm. “So, down?”

At that moment, you could not believe the universe had just ladled this ridiculous possibility into your lap. A date with your biggest crush on campus. A date that so many people would be wrangling your neck to steal from you – even if it was based on an innocuous little game which Seungcheol refused to submit because he was too competitive at heart. It might not have been your most prideful choice in life, but you accepted. Any chance to spend the night with him would not be wasted as long as the offer stood.

However, you had one condition.

“I’ll do it,” you grinned, watching the boy’s expression perk like a child who just got handed a cookie, “on the account of another dare. Which you’ll find out on our fake date.”

“Fine.” Seungcheol shrugged, sliding his phone across the table so that you could enter your number. He stood up afterward, on the verge of returning to his friends when he suddenly paused.

“See you tomorrow night, sweetheart.”

There was such a rush of butterflies in your stomach, you were surprised one hadn’t flown out your mouth.

You didn’t know why you cared so much about a date that was most likely intended to humiliate you. Was Joshua still not over those chemistry sheets? Even after you spent a good two hours in the library attempting to rewrite them with your nicest, smoothest gel pel? Thoughts of what to wear, your style of makeup, and which perfume you should choose amongst the few on your dresser were awfully overwhelming. In fact, you were almost late to the park, the area Seungcheol had picked as a rendezvous point.

He rose from the bench in front of the duck pond once you arrived, checking the time on his wrist while making a tsking sound.

“Four and a half minutes late,” Seungcheol said, shaking his head, “you’re not making a good first impression, my lady.”

Obviously, you weren’t going to admit how you were stressing about a technically-fake date. In the end, you threw on a simple outfit and applied some lipstick on your way out the door, shoving the tube into a small purse hung over your shoulder. It’s not like he was treating you to a five-star restaurant by romantic candlelight. But if he ever did, you had the perfect outfit planned.

“Well, I’m here now. And with your dare.” You grinned.

Seungcheol stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Let’s hear it.”

“I dare you to buy me a week of coffee.”

At first, Seungcheol didn’t utter a thing. But then he erupted into a fit of laughter until his cheeks turned rosy like peaches.

“That’s not how this works,” he half-sighed, half-chuckled while removing a tear from his eye, “I’m rejecting it.”

“You can’t reject it! You definitely owe me. I didn’t let you lose to tweedle-dumb or tweedle-idiot. Plus, it’s low to ask someone out on a dare. I didn’t even have to show up.” Ensuring your tone was confident, you folded your arms over your chest, raised your brow at the boy, and observed him as he tapped his foot in contemplation.

“Can I have time to consider?” Seungcheol asked.

While it was tough to capitulate so easily and let him have his way, you didn’t want to spend the entirety of your night standing next to a slimy pond, debating the regulations. So you bit the bullet. Besides, Seungcheol announced that there was a party he needed to stop by, that there was a particular someone to which he owned money. It was a short walk to this brick house that reverberated with music, cars stalled up and down the street while a flood of strobing colours illuminated in the windows. Seungcheol knocked on the door quite loudly, and then he reached for your hand, wrapping his fingers around yours. You shot him a puzzled glance just as the door swung open, the stench of marijuana mingling with the cool, night air.

“Well, well, well,” a fox-eyed boy murmured after taking a long puff from his blunt, “Choi Seungcheol. It’s about damn time.”

“I was in the neighbourhood. Heard you and Soonyoung were lighting this place up. What a good turnout, huh?”

“Mmhm,” the other boy hummed unenthusiastically, leaning his wide shoulder against the doorframe, “you got the money or no?”

Seungcheol laughed. “C’mon, Wonwoo. We don’t even get to go inside? Hang out for a bit? Have a drink? You’re a shitty host.”

Wonwoo slid a finger under his chin, rubbing in contemplation. It was starting to get colder out, for you could hear the tree leaves rustling together as a wind whisked through the dark. You squished yourself a bit closer into Seungcheol’s side, and to your surprise, he let go of your hand and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Finally, Wonwoo concurred, sticking the rolled paper back between his lips while stepping aside with an inviting gesture.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” the boy muttered, “but I’ll be coming to find you in about ten minutes. And I wanna see cash.”

“What’s his problem?” You whispered by Seungcheol’s ear as he guided you around an illy lit corner, into the kitchen.

His warm breath feathered your ear as he said, “I lost a couple bets to him and was slow getting the money back.” Seungcheol then grabbed two solo cups organized in a stack on the counter, filling each with a red, fruit-mixed alcohol which sat in two glass bowls.

“Don’t worry, he’s harmless.”

You accepted the cup and took a sip. “Oh, in case you needed to beat him up? I don’t know,” you lilted, “he looks pretty sturdy.”

“Are you kidding?” Seungcheol gawked.

He slapped his drink down on the counter and threw his jacket over the back of a chair. With a perplexed, is this man crazy expression, you watched him roll up his sleeve and flex his bicep.

“Go ahead,” the boy grinned, “you’ll see.”

You made sure to roll your eyes and sigh incredibly loud in order to really establish your indifference. Meanwhile, your inner-self was fizzling like a carbonated soda. Grabbing onto Seungcheol’s muscle, you pressed down, forcing back a surprised chuckle at the fact his arm was hard as a rock. In that moment your meter of attraction toward the boy was ticking so absurdly you thought it could break.

“Okay, I’ll give it to you, Seungcheol. You’re strong.”

He tugged his sleeve back down and slid into the jacket again, a very brash smirk beaming on his face. You couldn’t decipher if he’d actually been attempting to impress you or if that was just a display of his cockiness. And yet, you didn’t really care which category it fell into, because you were still blissfully afloat thinking about Seungcheol’s arms. You lifted your drink and took another sip, swishing the sweet but tangy flavour between your cheeks. At that moment, a man you didn’t recognize attempted to scoot behind you – except there was definitely enough room for him to get by without planting his hands on your hips and squeezing them.

“Hey! What the hell?” You squeaked, quickly turning around on your heel to see the crookedly amused look he stared at you with.

“What?” He somehow had the audacity to respond.

But you weren’t going to accept his disgraceful maneuvers, and neither was Seungcheol. He abandoned his cup on the counter and pushed up his sleeves.

“Did you just put your hands on her?” Came his demand. It didn’t sound like the normal, relaxed Seungcheol who liked his jokes, but someone with an unnerving amount of authority and fearlessness.

“I-I was trying to get by.” The man stammered, clearly uncomfortable with the thought of confrontation. He was already stepping backward as Seungcheol approached him.

“Don’t touch other people like that,” Seungcheol admonished him in a deep, staid voice, then pointed toward the threshold of the kitchen, “just get out, man. Seriously. Don’t even go near her.” And like a saddened puppy who received a scolding from its owners to lay down in the pen, the man slinked away without another word.

You were unsure of what to say to Seungcheol for diminishing the situation. Folding your arms tightly, you nodded at him.

“Thanks.”

Wonwoo came wandering into the kitchen. His eyes brightened the moment he saw Seungcheol, and he rubbed his fingers together to wordlessly convey that he wanted his money now.

“It’s alright,” Seungcheol gave you a soft smile while he revealed a large wad of cash from his pocket, “he was a weirdo.”

“Yeah.” You laughed as Seungcheol handed the sum to his friend, who fleshed out the paper notes to count the correct amount.

It took you a moment to realize that Seungcheol’s arm had wrapped back around your shoulders, this time a bit more securely. When you leaned into him, it wasn’t because you felt a draft or a chill, but because he was comfortable. He felt and smelled like safety.

Later that night, you returned to the park, throwing stones into the duck pond while the moon was hidden behind a thin curtain of clouds. Seungcheol claimed that he could throw his stones farther than yours, which prompted your short-lived competition. It had ended so abruptly because you ran out of stones to throw. At one point you tried tossing sticks, but they didn’t travel as far, and they definitely didn’t break the surface of the water with a satisfying plop.

“Hey,” Seungcheol said, nudging your elbow excitedly, “I dare you to get in the pond.”

“No way!” You cackled. “It’s freezing. And that pond is nasty.”

“Just dip your toe in or something.”

“You dip your toe in!”

“I don’t wanna take off my socks.”

You huffed, a plume of your breath escaping into the crisp air.

“Well, we’re at a crossroads then, aren’t we?”

Rather than continue bickering about the dare, you were starting to feel these annoying hunger pangs. You didn’t eat dinner because of how nervous you were toward this fake date (which was rapidly morphing into a very real date) with Seungcheol. The most you ate today had been some toast and pieces of apple your roommate cut the night before. Directly on cue, your stomach gurgled, and your face swelled hot with embarrassment. Seungcheol grinned.

“Hungry?”

“Starving, more like.” You corrected him.

He pulled out the white fabric liners of his pockets, revealing they were completely empty. “All my cash went to Wonwoo.”

You flashed a playful smile while repeating his statement from earlier. “Oh, wow. Not being able to cover the meal on a first date? You’re not making a good impression, sweetheart.”

In an instant, Seungcheol had snatched your hand, interlocking your fingers together warmly. He began tugging you out of the park and onto a familiar street, where there was a twenty-four-hour diner that the students absolutely loved. Admittedly, you had been there a few times. Once as a giggly drunk who just wanted a waffle plate at three in the morning, and also as a struggling student who was desperate for a cup of coffee in order to power through a procrastinated essay. Now, it seemed you were returning for a date.

“I’ll pay you back, promise.” Seungcheol said as the server placed a nacho platter onto the table. “It’s my new priority.”

The diner was quiet and mostly empty apart from a group of three seated at another table. You didn’t realize just how hungry you were until that first taste of melted cheese, salsa, and seared chicken hit your mouth. Seungcheol didn’t like black olives, so he kept picking them off. You were eating too ravenously to inspect your food.

“You’re taking the olives off?” You smirked. “Baby.”

Seungcheol scoffed. “I am not a baby.” He looked up at you as he shoved another delicious chip in his mouth. “And I know it gives you some sick, twisted pleasure to say that. You should be ashamed.”

Nearly choking on the water you just sipped, you dropped the cup back on the table to cough a few times.

“You know what’s sick? The fact I’m paying.”

The boy reached for his glass of coca cola. “Yeah, but technically this isn’t a real date. So, doesn’t count.”

“Really?” Raising a questioned eyebrow, you watched Seungcheol take a long gulp from his drink. “Are you willing to say that with your entire chest? That this isn’t a real date?”

And in that moment, Seungcheol genuinely seemed to have met a stupor. In fact, there was a red tint dusting the crest of each his cheeks. He leaned back in the booth, folded his arms over his chest, and pursed his lips. You waited patiently for his response, lifting a nacho to your mouth while threads of cheese dangled in the air.

A smile broke through his stiff, musing expression.

“Okay,” he nodded his head, “maybe this is a real date,” (your heart impossibly fluttered), “you could be right about that.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” You answered.

In truth, you couldn’t have been more delighted to hear Seungcheol agree, because if he hadn’t, you would have dined and dashed, fled straight out the restaurant in a haze of shame and embarrassment. In the span of just a few hours, your attraction toward this boy had impressively expanded like a sponge soaking up water. Before, you weren’t positive that he could be your true love. It was mostly a running joke between you and… well, yourself. However, this one night was proving that perhaps your joke could have some actual weight to it. And as Seungcheol continued to make you laugh, choke on your food, stare at him in complete adoration like he was a crowned jewel, you completely lost track of time.

It wasn’t until you burst into another frenzy of laughter at his story and spilt water all down your shirt that you finally checked your phone. Almost one in the morning. The server whisked your cutlery and plates away with a tired expression. You tipped generously, feeling rather guilty for creating such a racket at this hour.

“Do you want my jacket?” Seungcheol asked as you prepared to leave. There was a huge water stain soaking through your shirt.

“A-Are you sure?” You asked him, pulling a few strands of hair from your face. He nodded, already wrestling the jacket off.

“Go change, sweetheart,” Seungcheol told you so casually that you couldn’t hide this blatant look of surprise, “I’ll wait outside.”

Entering a washroom stall, you peeled the damp shirt over your head and folded it to pack nicely within your purse. You then slipped into Seungcheol’s jacket, which had this wonderful, warm fleece patched to the inside. It was soft against your bare skin, and it smelled like a fragrant hint of his cologne. After spending an extra moment freshening up at the sink, you wandered back into the cool night, where Seungcheol was leaning against a street pole. You weren’t sure if your eyes were playing tricks at the late hour, or if he’d actually given you a very smug, very relishing once-over.

Considering you had class early the next day, you asked Seungcheol if he’d be willing to walk you home. He obliged, and you paced together in comfortable silence until reaching the bridge. It arched over a swirling, gushing river which ran through the city, the current black as kohl and reflecting the lights of the nearby architecture. In the daytime this bridge wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was a beautiful vantage point during the night; a place to watch the city sparkle and flash like the cosmos.

“Hey,” Seungcheol whispered, grabbing your hand, “I have another dare for you, since you chickened out on the pond.”

You looked at the mischief compiling in his gaze. “What?”

“Climb up there.”

Seungcheol pointed toward a thick, metal beam that slanted upward, like a ramp. It flattened out at the top, and sometimes when you walked by during the day, there would be a few students sitting down after class, eating sandwiches or cracking open sodas. A placement of bars was set behind, only wide enough to stick your leg through. You glanced back at Seungcheol and nodded.

“Okay, fine.”

And so you began to climb up the slanted beam, feeling the breeze nip at your cheeks, your hair, like the smallest of kisses. At the flattened section, you turned around and looked down at Seungcheol, feeling like the empress of a powerful kingdom. His face ignited in the moonlight. He was smiling very wide as you stuck out your tongue.

“Easy. I dare you to climb up here.”

Seungcheol shook his head. “I, uh, can’t.”

“Why not?” You laughed, folding your arms. “Scared?”

“No, I just—I twisted my ankle, so I can’t.”

“When was that?”

“You weren’t looking.”

Rolling your eyes, you decided to tease him. Taking the zipper dangling from his jacket, you began to pull it down slowly, revealing a hidden amount of skin which turned the boy’s face an adorable pink.

“If you come up here, I’ll take the jacket all the way off.” You sang in a promiscuous tone, lifting up the strap of your bra and snapping it. Seungcheol grinned, cupping a hand over his gaze.

“No way. I’m not falling into a trap like that.”

“Fine,” you huffed, lowering to your butt and carefully scooting your way down the metallic beam, “you missed out.”

Seungcheol merely held his tongue; however, he did take the zipper on his jacket and pull it back up, right to your chin, hiding the expanse of flesh from the bright moonlight. You weren’t sure what courageous energy had just taken over your body. In fact, you’d probably regret such a thing by the time your alarm clock erupted tomorrow morning, pulling you from the pit of your sleep.

“I don’t want you getting cold.” He said. “And I can’t believe you nearly gave me a strip tease from the support beam of a bridge. That’s a first.”

“I’m just making sure you don’t forget this date.” You chuckled, half in nonsense, half in truth.

As he promised, Seungcheol walked you back to the house and made sure the door unlocked using the spare key under the letter box. Thankfully, your roommate left the lights of the front porch on, the bulbs now swathed in grey moths. It was a strange night. A night that wouldn’t have happened if not for the antics of Seungcheol and his two equally competitive friends. Maybe there was a positive side to burning Joshua’s chemistry notes, though you weren’t sure he’d be thrilled to hear you admit that. A game of I Dare You, turned into a fake date, turned into a real date, turned into a sweet affection.

You yawned, feeling the faint glisten of tears stretch in your eyes. “I had fun. And I guess I’ll see you tomorrow in toxicology.”

“With my jacket.” He reminded you.

“Yes, of course. With your jacket.”

And while you expected Seungcheol to simply bid his goodnight and perhaps take a late bus home, firing question after question of why he decided to accept such a stupid dare as he stared out the window, you were surprised when he reached for your hand.

“By the way,” he said, “I accept.”

You crinkled your nose. “Accept what?”

“The dare. I’ll buy you coffee every morning this week.”

“Oh!” There was a small flare crackling to life in your eyes as you recalled the original dare of the night. “That’s right. I forgot.”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Seungcheol agreed. He then squeezed your hand. “On the account of one very simple condition.”

“I don’t think you can do that. Doesn’t seem rule-abiding.”

The boy discarded your comment. Instead, his grasp became tighter around your hand. He pulled you swiftly into his chest and stared straight into your helpless, panicking eyes as though he were going to confess something profound and utterly dire.

He smirked. “I want you to kiss me each time.”

Seungcheol lifted his brow in anticipation of your response, which was an undoubted agreement. Probably the fastest, easiest agreement you had ever made in your life. He moved in close to your ear, whispering something about how you should meet at the café tomorrow morning and walk to the lecture hall together, though you were ultimately buzzing and experiencing such a bold heartbeat that you missed most of the details. When he pulled away, you smiled.

“That sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

Stepping off the porch, he turned back with a wave.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

✧✎ a/n: the reason i wanted to rewrite this fic was bc i still rly enjoy the concept. however, i cannot STAND my old style of writing, thus i decided to just rewrite the fic and appease the nagging in my head lol. this is how i would have written this fic today if i hadn’t already done so four years ago. i’m also questioning the possibility of rewriting love café for jeonghan (pls don’t go reading it if u haven’t already) but that would take much longer ,,,, JUST AN IDEA THOUGH. i hope you enjoyed!!

#seventeen scenarios #seungcheol scenarios #svt fanfic #seungcheol fanfic #choi seungcheol #s.coups scenario #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #scoups fluff #svt x reader #seungcheol x reader

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felassan · 3 years

Photo

Dragon Age II and Dragon Age: Inquisition concept art & assets from a 2016 talk/presentation by Matt Rhodes, titled “The World of Concept Art” [watch link & source]

It’s an interesting and insightful talk which I recommend watching, especially if you have an interest in concept art and related things like character design and how it fits into the overall game dev process. It’s also interesting to see a bit about how the DA team’s art direction/process has changed over time between games, and hear a bit about how they’ve been doing things going forwards for the next game.

This is Part 1. [Link to Part 2]

(Some notes on the commentary given on the images and in general in the presentation under the cut due to length.)

On image 2: DAII had a fast, hot production period where decisions were made very quickly. The devs knew that the central hub, Kirkwall, had been a center of an old slavery-based empire in the past, and wanted to have indications of this [in its art direction]. There were going to be giant statues that the PC eventually fought - on the right is the design for the statues as they originally were. In the top left, this is all they had for the location [owing to the intensive prod period]. They also had a general idea that they wanted to have tableaus that came to life, shown in the bottom left.

On image 3: Going back to the design of the giant statues, the beautiful golden clockwork version of the design doesn’t really say ‘tool of an ancient slavery-based empire’, so they took the model and tried to come up with something that had more of the kinds of shapes that get into the back of your head and say things like ‘aggressive, hard, simple’.

On image 4: So here they had started doing concepts trying to find some of the right poses, accessories etc that these things would have. One of the hearts of the internal ‘DA art [direction] codex’ is “gray and pointy”; if they give a concept like this to [then] Art Director Matthew Goldman he instinctively wants to go “Yes! Approve!”, and so has to kind of reign himself in a little bit.

On image 5: This is where they ended up getting to and how the concept art turned out in terms of the model, with some negotiation back and forth. This is an example of how their art direction process now tries to tell a story with the art (i.e. it tries to support the story through art aspects of the setting and the environment). Historically, they would have just thrown the French-looking, Baroque clockwork version of the statue into the game and gone with it. They are getting more and more intentional with this sort of thing.

On this image: This was an internal image made for internal discussion. The characters in it aren’t ones that exist or that became other characters, with the exception of the Warden, who kind of became Blackwall. In this image, they were trying to think about visual separation among members of a group at the most basic level (simple graphic design principles, like different shapes and colors). This image is part of trying to solve the design problem of having 4 different characters on-screen in the party at once in their games - as in, players of course need to be able to easily tell who is doing what and where.

A general comment: At BioWare, the concept artists nowadays involve themselves in the character design process much earlier than they used to. Historically, as in earlier games, the writers would write up a bunch of characters and then concept artists would be brought in to draw them. Through negotiation and back-and-forth they would then come up with something. Nowadays though, the concept artists are involved from Day 1. The writers now write down 2 words to describe a character and the artists do sketches based on that. The writers then will write a sentence and the artists will do more drawings based on that. Then it progresses to a paragraph and drawings based on that and so on. In this way it goes back and forth and they build it up so that the visual aspects and the writeup/content of the character are developed completely in tandem, complimentary to one another. This is their goal. They aren’t quite there yet, but this is what they’re trying to strive for in this area.

On image 6: These are Dorian concepts. His initial 2-word writeup was “rockstar mage”. They had different artists take different swings at him. The middle concept is Matt’s. The third concept is by Casper Konefal. Everyone was very excited about it and so it was then taken up to a more final stage (image 7).

On image 8: Casper is one of Matt’s favorite concept artists because he goes in and lovingly details absolutely everything - all the pieces of jewelry etc. Each ring has a story. This attention and level of detail and thought behind it adds authenticity and verisimilitude.

On image 9: In game development, there is an effect on character design that can happen during review meetings. The concept/character artist will know what they need visually from a particular character’s design in order to visually tell the story and to help the character support that. Oftentimes, people who aren’t artists don’t have the language to describe this or realize that’s what’s going on in a character’s design, and instead they just see imperfections in the presented faces. What this can lead to is that unintentionally a group review meeting can slowly trim away all the features of a character that make them interesting or distinct. This is why, for many characters across the game industry, if they were shaved and had their facial decorations etc removed, it would be kind of hard to tell many of them apart, as they have all been subjected to this sort of “council sandblasting” process. Casper figured out an idea to help with this; annotating concept drawings with artistic knowledge that artists know intuitively, as has been done here. Artists know, for instance, that certain shapes and angles can allow for certain assumptions about the character to be made (for example, think about Cassandra’s personality and then consider the angular, straight strong lines that make up her face). Annotating like this and then presenting both versions alongside one another helps these aspects of character design be recognized in the review process, and helps characters remain more distinct.

On image 10: They knew that in DAI there was going to be a character who would be with the PC for the whole game - the humble little hermit, non-intrusive, someone quite closed off who the player wouldn’t know much about. “[quote] And at the very end of the game you’d basically find out that he’s Loki himself, or the embodiment of this ancient god that had been tricking you and basically manipulating you the whole time, characterized by a wolf.” And so Nick Thornborrow hung a wolf’s jaw bone off his neck and it was just there in plain sight the whole game. Because this detail was in the drawings at an early stage, it sparked conversations with the audio department, and the audio department could add touches from their end like having wolves howling when he walked into a new area. They could then get all of these different elements and things that could be hinted at, so that when you play the game a second time it’s like ‘They weren’t even hiding it!! It was there the whole time!!’ He loves that.

A general comment: Any one of BioWare’s 3D modelled characters standing in-game talking or animating probably ends up costing them something in the 40,000 - 60,000 dollar range (they calculated this).

A general comment: For DAI, the concept artists also started to get heavily involved in the storytelling side of things at a deeper level, doing things like quick’n’dirty storyboards for the cinematic designers and spending more time with the writers talking about what emotions they were trying to convey at different points and so forth. Since starting doing this, this has become a built-in part of their process.

A comment in the context of giving advice to up-and-coming and student artists, on the subject of how concepts and ideas are naturally thrown out during the process of iterating on ideas etc: “[quote] Right now, the project that I’m working on that I can’t talk about, I have 3 versions of the story in the garbage, and it’s awesome. Because now I’m working on the fourth with our lead writer and it’s so much better than it would have been otherwise and we’re doing it so much earlier so that we can actually change things up.” Said project could be DA4 or something else. (Please remember these comments were made in November 2016. MEA came out in 2017 and DA4 has been rebooted)

[source]

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #dragon age #bioware #solas #cole #cassandra pentaghast #slavery cw #spirit boy #my lady paladin #long post #longpost #da4 tag for the insight into post-DAI era art direction/design process #& for the reference to the project which may or may not be da4 #highlights compiled in case the talk as-is isn't accessible to someone

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holidaywishes · 3 years

Text

you finally made sense

Requested: 👍

Summary/Request: So Jacob Markstrom idea for whenever you’re ready. Because I am simple and just love the idea I would love to see how you would write friends to lovers but where Jacob has known for a while that he wanted more but the reader is much slower to come to a realization. Like maybe she realizes when someone makes a comment about how they are such a cute couple or something.

Warning: Google Translate, fluff, maybe some language?

Author’s Note: For some reason, this GIF doesn’t come up in the GIF search but I love it too much not to use, so I believe it’s from @droppedgloves and I want to thank them for it. It’s beautiful, thank you. Fun fact: I forgot what the ‘plan’ was after I wrote “here’s the plan” because I had to save it as a draft and do other stuff 😂😂 I’m not super familiar with Markstrom, so I had to spend a good full day scrolling through YouTube to watch videos and interviews of him to get a sense of his personality so I could figure out how I wanted to write him and, here’s another fun fact: I didn’t realize that video of the goalie playing with dolls (you’re the better goalie, you’re the better goalie) was actually Markstrom so that made me giggle when I was watching stuff. @mandypants95 I hope this gives you a little bit of what you were looking for. Friends to Lovers is fun to write because of all the cliché’s that come with it so I hope everyone enjoys it, even just a little bit! It’s quite long, like I told mandypants, it kind of got away on me, so just prepare yourself 😂Stay golden, loves! <3

P.S. The names of Marky’s friends are not real people, -- he might have friends with these names but I have no idea, -- I just needed to make up some names for his friends 😜

P.P.S. If you keep seeing this appear after you’ve liked it, I’m sorry. Sometimes edits need to be done because of grammar (I hate when my fics have bad grammar) and if I do it on the app, sometimes the title doesn’t save so the link gets we-- it’s a whole thing.

masterlist

the other masterlist

You met Jake his first year playing with the Canucks but it wasn’t a natural friendship like he usually explained it to everyone. He was sweet, sure, but he was also very cocky; like he knew how good he was and was eager to make sure everyone else knew. It didn’t take long, though, for him to charm his way into your life.

“JAKE!” you called as you walked through his front door

“What’s up!” he yelled from the top of the stairs

“Here’s the plan:” you started to explain, “we’re going to this bar, you’re not going to run off and leave me alone with all these strangers, we’re gonna leave when either of us decides that we’re done, got it?”

“It’s a party, (Y/N),” he laughed, “we have to interact with them”

“I know and it’s your birthday,” you added, “I’m just saying, I don’t know your friends. You can read me, I can read you, so just help me out a little, okay?”

“Fine” he sighed sarcastically before running down the stairs to meet you, bumping your arm lightly with his shoulder before walking into the kitchen to grab a glass of water

“Good” you smiled

“Great” he teased

“Look,” you sighed, leaning against his counter while he practically chugged his water, “don’t be weird. Don’t wear a suit and make me feel under-dressed, just wear jeans and a t-shirt”

“It’s my birthday party...” you scoffed

“I know, so just be comfortable” you grinned and he shook his head

“God, you’re so demanding today” he joked

“I have to be or you won’t listen to me”

“You know me too well, I guess” he smiled, forcing an exaggerated eye roll from you before you turned on your heels to make your way home. “Wait, you’re leaving?”

“Yeah” you scoffed

“You just came over to boss me around and leave? Like this couldn’t have been done over text?”

“I have to go get changed!” you laughed

“What?” he chuckled, “you just told me to dress casual”

“I know because I know you,” you admitted, “you’ll still show up looking like you’re going to some fancy event. Even in ripped jeans and a ratty t-shirt”

“I won’t” he smiled

“You will. Just let me go home and put on a dress. I’ll meet you there”

“You’ll text me when you get there?”

“As soon as the Uber turns the corner” you smirked

“Okay, see you there.”

Jacob’s P.O.V

You waited outside the bar for (Y/N) to show up for your birthday party that your friends from Sweden came in for but she was taking forever

“Where are you?” you asked impatiently

“I told you I’d text you when I was there” she sent back

“Yeah, but you were supposed to be here like 20 minutes ago!”

“There was traffic. I can’t control the traffic”

“Oh I’m sure you could if you tried”

“Yeah well, maybe next time”

“Are you close?”

“The car is just turning the corner now”

“Finally” you watched as cars paced by the bar until one black Lexus pulled up in front of you and (Y/N) stepped out slowly. Your eyes couldn’t help but follow her as she walked toward you, completely enthralled by the deep blue colour of her dress as it swished side to side. “Wait” you stopped her from walking into the bar, ahead of you

“What?” she sighed as she stepped back in front of you

“Why are you allowed to dress like that,” you gestured to her before gesturing to your outfit, “and I have to dress like this?”

“Because,” she started, a smile creeping across her face, “these are your friends. They’ve never met me before and I want to make a good impression”

“But it’s not like they need to approve of you,” you smirked, “we’re not dating”

“Oh I know,” she scoffed, “but if I look good, that makes you look good. They’ll know that you’re not failing over here because you hang out with awesome people like me” she turned and walked into the bar, grabbing your arm so she could drag you in after her. Her laugh, paired with her warm touch, sent your heart racing and you hoped she would hold onto you longer but as soon as your friends greeted you, she let go

“GRATTIS PÅ FÖDELSEDAGEN!” they shouted, grabbing you and practically tossing you back and forth between them before you noticed (Y/N)’s uncomfortable expression. You moved your hand to rest on her back

“Guys, this is my friend, (Y/N),” you said, pushing her forward so they could see her, “(Y/N), this is George, Niklas, Ollie, Sam, Malcolm, Dustin, Eric and Corey”

“Wow,” she exhaled with a laugh, looking at you as she tried to think of something to say, “forgive me if I mix up your names. Jake moves a lot faster than I do”

“Guess that’s what makes him a good goalie?” Ollie joked and (Y/N) nodded

“So you guys are just friends?” Dustin pried

“Yes” (Y/N) was quick to answer and you hoped that none of the boys noticed your face fall

“Let’s get some drinks!” Niklas exclaimed, directing (Y/N) to the bar while the rest of you followed behind them

“Så är du verkligen bara vänner?” George started, speaking Swedish so (Y/N) wouldn’t be able to understand

“Ja” you scoffed

“Av eget val?” Corey asked

“Så klart det är” you countered

“Ja? Din eller hennes?” Dustin teased

“What are you boys gossiping about?” (Y/N) laughed before you could answer, catching your eyes and a pathetic smile as the group sat at the bar

“They’re just asking when I’m gonna win the cup” you lied

“Did you guys meet here? In Calgary?” Ollie asked her, ignoring your lie

“No, actually we met in Vancouver,” she admitted with a smile, “in 2016?”

“Yep,” you added, “the end of 2016. We were instant friends”

“No we weren’t” she laughed

“What?!” you said, shocked at her confession

“Ooh, Jakey, what did you do?” Malcolm teased

“Nothing! I was a complete gentleman” you tried

“No he was,” she laughed, placing her hand on your arm to reassure you, “you were. He was very sweet but he knew I knew who he was and I didn’t really wanna give in to it, you know what I mean? But we kinda stayed in touch for a couple days, had lunch with some of my friends, he got us tickets to a game and made us feel welcome and all that. It was all very sweet”

“So what was the issue?” Malcolm asked, as if he knew something had changed

“I got a job in Calgary. I had moved to Vancouver for University but I was about to graduate and the island was a little too expensive to live on after having the loans I had. So when I moved back to Calgary, we just kinda couldn’t really become friends” she replied

“But obviously you did” Corey added

“He found me on Instagram and added me,“ she laughed and you could feel your face fill with heat, “then he just wouldn’t leave me alone”

“And then he got traded here” Sam finally added, earning a round of laughs from everyone when they realized he hadn’t said anything

“Then he got traded here. During a Pandemic, in the weirdest season of Hockey I’ve ever witnessed” she laughed

“She flipped when I told her”

“I hadn’t kept up with the trade deadline” she added

“So she was in the middle of a Zoom call or something” you continued, the two of you now telling the story together

“When I get this text”

“I wrote, purposely very cryptically, I’m coming to see you”

“And I was obviously very creeped out”

“But she still replied”

“Well, I had to figure out what the hell he was talking about!” she laughed, pushing your shoulder playfully

“Sure but you could’ve just been like ‘this is a joke’ and left it at that” you teased before she rolled her eyes

“Anyway…” she smirked, “I sent back a message asking what the hell he was talking about”

“So I told her I got traded and she sent a voice note practically screaming”

“I was excited”

“I was nervous but I was happy that I’d have a friend in the city outside of hockey”

“So I asked him when he was going to get into the city, to see if we could meet up”

“I told her”

“But then Alberta went into a weird quasi-lockdown and I didn’t want to get him in trouble”

“So we FaceTimed”

“Which we’d obviously done a million times over the years”

“We caught up”

“Planned to get together”

“Which we did, pretty soon after, and now here we are”

“Here you are” George interjected, leading you and (Y/N) to laugh awkwardly before each taking a sip from your respective drinks and Niklas pointed out a booth where everyone could sit and talk without having to crane your necks. After a while, and a few more cocktails, everyone seemed to be getting along which, honestly, made you smile; something that Ollie was all too quick to notice.

"I'll be right back" (Y/N) said with a smile before she started to push you out of the booth, leaving you with your friends and their very obvious questions

"Before you say anything," you smirked, "just don't"

"Come on" George laughed

"If you already know what we're going to say, why don't you answer the question?" Sam added

"Come on, Jakey" Malcolm teased

"Säg det" Corey added

"Säg vad?" you played dumb

"Kom igen..." Eric continued

"Ingen aning om vad du pratar om..."

"Hur länge har du älskat henne?" Dustin finally asked

"Hey!" you exclaimed when you saw (Y/N), trying to get them to forget about the question

"Hi," she said, caught off guard by your excitement, "everything okay?"

"Yeah" you answered, letting her back in before you squeezed in next to her

"You sure?" she said, furrowing her brow

"Yeah! We just wanted to get another round but wanted to make sure you were here before we did..."

"You're a terrible liar" she laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and exposing her neck

"Så... ska du berätta för henne att du älskar henne eller måste någon av oss göra det?" Sam said, causing (Y/N)'s head to ping pong back and forth between the two of you, as if she was trying to understand what he said to you

"What did he say?" she asked you, leaning into you, causing your cheeks to flush with heat

"Nothing," you said, distracted by her peach-scented shampoo and the way she didn't move away from you, clearing your throat when you realized that you were almost moving toward her, "they're just teasing me. You all have that in common”

“Yeah, something tells me that’s not what he said” she smirked, her eyes dancing between yours before she sat back up and continued talking with the guys; they told her stories about how you were as a kid, she laughed and said that you hadn’t changed at all.

“It was nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Malcolm said, “take care of him while we’re gone okay?”

“I will” she smiled

“Take care of yourself, too” Corey added

“Thanks”

“And you,” George pointed to you with a smirk, “you take care of her”

“Yeah yeah yeah” you joked

"Vi är seriösa, J," Niklas said, "Hon är för bra för dig men om du tar hand om henne ..."

"Då vet du..." Sam added, raising his eyebrows as (Y/N) called a cab

"Allvarligt killar, sluta" you sighed

"Du älskar henne" Ollie whispered

"Berätta bara för henne," Dustin said while Eric nodded his head

"Det är inte så enkelt" you sighed, watching (Y/N) continue to try to hail a cab and fail, dropping her head in annoyance

“Come on!” you heard her yell, earning a scoff from you

”Har jag varit kär i henne i ungefär två år? Ja," you confessed, "spelar det någon roll? Nej, för hon känner inte samma sak om mig och jag tänker inte tvinga henne att känna något hon inte gör”

"Tycker du inte att hon förtjänar att veta det?" Sam asked

"Vi såg hur hon såg på dig," Ollie grinned, "Jag tror att det finns några känslor där"

"Jag tror inte det" you sighed once more, looking over at (Y/N) who had successfully hailed a cab

“Jake!!” she called excitedly, a huge smile spread across her face, “come on! It was nice to meet you guys!” she called to your friends and they waved her goodbye, “Jake, I can’t keep this guy waiting forever!”

"Du bör gå" George laughed

"Hon är så bossig" Corey joked

"Ja, det är hon" you smirked, looking at her calling you to the small yellow car and telling the driver to wait just one more minute. ”Okej killar, jag måste gå. Tack för att du kom in för att önska mig en grattis på födelsedagen,” you smiled, “Ha en säker flygning tillbaka”

"Kommer att göra, Jakey," Malcolm said

“Hallå!” Niklas interrupted one last time, "Berätta bara för henne"

“Adjö” you shook your head before smiling and waving them goodbye

“Geez! Took you long enough!” (Y/N) whined, hopping into the backseat of the cab with you close behind

“Relax, I had to say goodbye. They came a long way” you replied

“Such a good friend,” she said, “can I just stay at your place tonight? I’m exhausted”

“Yeah that’s fine” you agreed, letting your hand fall next to hers, brushing her skin with your pinky and waiting for someone to break the silence

“Where to?” the driver finally asked, bringing your attention to him before giving him your address

“Your friends were nice,” (Y/N) added wearily, “they didn’t really like to talk in English though did they?”

“Their Swedish is better”

“That’s fair” she yawned, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the window. You smiled as thoughts of how your life could be with her — falling asleep next to her, caressing her skin as she slept, pushing her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear so you could kiss her softly — but you knew she didn’t feel the same, so all you would ever be was friends.

You fell asleep in the cab next to Jacob but you could swear you felt him watching you. He did wake you up, gently, when the cab pulled up in front of his apartment.

“(Y/N)?” he whispered, “hey”

“Hi. What’s going on?”

“It’s time to go inside” he smirked

“Oh” you scoffed, pushing yourself across the bench seat and stepping out of the cab, stumbling into Jacob when you finally stood up

“Whoa” he chuckled, placing his arm around your waist to keep you from falling

“I’m sorry,” she whined as you both stepped into the elevator, leaning back against the cold metal and away from Jake. “I didn’t think I drank that much but I guess I couldn’t keep up with you guys”

“It’s okay,” he laughed and you started to drift off to sleep again, “hey, we’re almost to my place, don’t fall asleep here okay?”

“Okay” you hummed before he started to keep you awake by telling you jokes. “Oh my god, Jake, stop!” you laughed, “your jokes are awful”

“Hey! My jokes are pure gold” he countered

“Sure they are” you scoffed. When the elevator finally opened, you slowly walked out, swaying and stumbling through the hallway before Jake eventually placed his hands on your waist and guided you to the door

“Alright, here we are. Come on, drunky”

“Why aren’t you more drunk?” you finally asked, only now noticing that he seemed very sober

“I’m twice your size,” he laughed, “I can manage a bit more alcohol than you”

“Yeah but you’re like… sober. Like you didn’t drink at all” you questioned before stumbling into his chest

“Oh-kay, let’s just get you to sleep,” he said, carrying you to his bedroom

“Hey mister,” you slurred, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m putting you in bed” he said

“This is your bed, I don’t know what kind of ideas you have in your little Swedish brain”

“Don’t worry, kid,” he scoffed, setting you down on the firm mattress before tucking you under the covers, “I’ll be in the guest room”

“Wait!” you called as he started walking away, “happy birthday” you smiled, realizing you hadn’t said it to him nearly all-day

“Thanks,” he whispered and you saw him smile while he began closing the door, “now get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” The next morning, you heard him in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible, rummaging around the cabinets

“Hey sleepy head!” he exclaimed

“Oh wow,” you replied softly, rubbing your temples, “why are you yelling like that?”

"I'm sorry," he whispered but it still felt like yelling, "am I annoying you?"

"What are you doing?" you asked, glaring at him while you sat down on the stool at the kitchen island

"I'm making pancakes!" he smiled

"You can't cook" you groaned, still rubbing your temples in hopes that it would cure your hangover

"Wow, rude," he joked, throwing a metal spoon into his sink and you shuddered at the ringing of the steel that echoed through the room, "do you want some aspirin?"

"Yes please" you smiled gratefully

"Here" he said, handing you a glass of water and two small pills

"Thank you," you said and he saluted you lazily, earning a scoff from you, "so what's going on today? Post birthday plans?"

"My mom is calling in soon and then I have to go to practice, we've got a game tomorrow. In Vancouver, so we're flying out this afternoon," he replied, keeping his eyes on the food in front of him while he spoke, "so the day is pretty much set..."

"Oh," you said, clearing your throat as you finished your glass of water, "okay. I'll just... leave you to it then"

"What?" he scoffed, "I didn't mean it li-- you're not gonna stay and talk to my mom? You know she loves you more than she loves me"

"Well, I am very lovable," you teased, smiling at him until your headache forced you to stop, "but I don't want to intrude or anything. I'll just grab my phone and get an Uber so I can head home"

"Stop it," he huffed, turning off the burner and walking over to you, "I'll drive you home later, just stay and chat with me and Mom" he placed his hands on your arms before his eyes focused on your own and you found yourself unable to resist his insistence; your pursed smile giving it away before you could

"Fine," you finally said, "I'll stay."

"Good" he smirked, turning back to grab you a pancake, practically tossing the plate to you. When his mom finally Facetimed him, he was in the other room so you were forced to greet her first

"Hey, Lena!" you exclaimed

"(Y/N)! Darling! How are you?" she asked, her smile so much like her sons

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm good! Thank you for asking," she smiled, looking past you for Jake, "now, where is my son?"

"He's probably off puking somewhere," you joked, "he really can't handle his alcohol in his old age"

"His tolerance must have lowered since moving to Canada"

"Especially when the actual alcohol percentages are so low compared to Sweden"

"I'm disappointed in him" she laughed

"Me too!" you added, laughing with her before Jake finally walked into frame, standing behind you with his arms on either side of you and his chin resting on the top of your head

"Alright you two," he smirked, "stop making fun of me"

"It's your fault," you teased, tilting your head so you were looking up at him directly, "not being in the room and all"

"When will I learn?" he joked, looking down at you before making a funny face

"Never. You'll never learn. You're impossible" you laughed, sticking your tongue out at him as he pushed your shoulder and sat down in the seat beside you

"You two are so sweet" Lena smirked

"Ma..." Jake sighed

"We are sweet, aren't we?" you replied, noticing both Lena and Jacob shake their heads; granted, with different expressions on their face

"It's not--" he started, exasperated after having clearly had this conversation with his mom more than once

"What's wrong?" you asked, confused

"I think you're the most adorable couple I've ever seen, honestly" Lena admitted and you scoffed, a blush creeping into your cheeks

"Oh, whoa," you smiled, "Jake, have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?"

"No" he sighed, closing his eyes lightly as if he was embarrassed

"I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months now but he won't do it" she teased

"Well, he wouldn't," you said, looking between the mother and son, "because we're just friends. He wouldn't want to ruin that"

"Alright mom," he said, over the back and forth, "enough of this conversation. I've got to take (Y/N) home, okay? Love you, thanks for the chat"

"Hey, Jacob!" Lena yelled before he could end the call, "we haven't spoken, don't hang up on me like that"

"I'll just.. go wait outside" you whispered, watching him sit down in front of his computer to await the disappointed words that his mom would soon say to him. You waited outside for a few minutes before checking if his truck was unlocked, sitting on the step when you saw that it wasn't and realizing that if you tried to open the door, the alarm would go off. It was another hour before Jacob finally came outside to meet you

"Sorry about that" he sighed

"That's okay. She called to talk to you, I'd be upset too if someone tried to hang up on me when I specifically called t--"

"Yeah, I get it," he said through bared teeth, "let's just go, okay? I have to be at practice soon" you furrowed your brow but got into the passenger seat, looking at him take a deep breath before starting the car. You thought about the words his mother used when she spoke about you and Jacob. You two are so sweet, the most adorable couple I've ever seen, I've been trying to get him to ask you out for months. It was all kind of odd to you. Not only that Lena had said it, or that she and Jake had clearly had the conversation before, but that he was so irritated by the whole interaction. Why was he so upset? you thought to yourself. Did he think you were embarrassed? Did he think that you would be hurt that he had never agreed to take you out on a date? Or was there something that he had said to Lena that he didn't want you to hear?

"Jake?" you said, as he drove through the city silently but he didn't respond. Soon enough, he pulled up outside of your apartment building and you hesitated before finally jumping out of the car, with just enough time to clear the door before Jake sped away from you. What the fuck? you scoffed, heading inside in hopes of clearing your head. You spent the day racking your brain about what could have gotten Jake so upset but nothing came to mind; nothing you said was rude, or at least you didn't think it was, and everything was true, so what was his deal?

"Tell me exactly what happened?" your friend, Susie, asked from the other end of the phone after you had explained the morning to her

"Again?" you whined

"Yes, again, I need to know if you're missing something"

"We went for drinks last night, for his birthday, with his friends. We all laughed and had a good time. I drank too much, stayed at his place, in separate rooms. When I woke up, we joked around like we always do, he gave me some aspirin and made some pancakes before his mom called from Sweden" you exclaimed, smirking to yourself a little while you thought of the conversation you and Lena had before Jake came back into the room. "She loves me, so we joked about Jake a bunch but then he came into the room, stood behind me and rested his chin on my head. I looked up at him and we teased each other a bit more. Lena said we were sweet, I said yeah of course but Jake seemed to.. argue with her? I don't know, Lena kept going saying that we made a cute couple but I corrected her, saying we were just friends. My exact words were to Jake 'have you been going around telling your parents we're dating?' to which he said No and then Lena said she's been trying to get him to ask me out for a while but he's always said no"

"And what did you say...?" Susie interjected, her tone telling you that she was hearing something that you clearly weren't

"I said that he wouldn't ask me out because we were just friends," you replied plainly. It was the truth, what was wrong with that? "and that he wouldn't want to ruin that"

"He wouldn't?" she questioned with a scoff before continuing, "fine. What happened after that?"

"Things got weird and tense. I let them talk alone and then he drove me home in a weird mood. He barely talked to me, he barely even looked at me!"

"(Y/N)..." she sighed, "(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)..."

"What? What? What?" you scoffed in reply

"HOW ARE YOU SO BLIND?!" she shouted through the phone, forcing you to pull it from your ear for a minute

"What are you talking about?"

"I've seen it for years," she said, "but I always thought you knew. But you really don't, do you?"

"Know what? What have you seen for years?"

"The way you'd stop everything when he called, the way you'd schedule FaceTimes like clockwork, the way he knows your favourite colour as it changes from week to week. The fact that he could have anyone he wanted, who would want him back, but he chooses to ask you to hang out with him all the time, from a different province? A different time zone?" she explained but you were still lost

"We're friends. We like hanging out with each other and we can't really do that in person because of what's happening now. Plus, he's so busy..."

"(Y/N)!!!" she yelled again, "COME ON!"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT! I'm clearly not gonna get what you're trying to get me to get..."

"He's been in love with you for years. Probably since the two of you started really getting to know each other," she said and the words hung in the air as you tried to grasp them, "but when you said that you were just friends? He probably thought that he was never going to be anything more than that to you. Maybe he thinks he's wasted his time all these years"

"He's not in love with me" was all you could think to say

"Yes, he is," she laughed, "and you're in love with him"

"Now, hold on," you scoffed, "I'm pretty sure I would know if I were in love with somebody"

"Would you?"

"Of course I would"

"Fine," she replied, seemingly dropping the conversation, "but he is in love with you and I think you need to talk to him about it"

"And say what?" you asked

"I don't know..." she said, her smirk ever present on her words, "but I'm sure you'll think of something"

"Susi--"

"I gotta go," she interrupted, "keep me in the loop. Love you, bye!"

"WAIT!" you shouted to a now static line, "well what the fuck...?" you said to yourself. You were left alone with the thought that Jake might have feelings for you and the words that Susie tried to convince you were true

"You're in love with him, too" it was nonsense. You couldn't love Jake... It was Jake. He was Jacob Markström. Was there a part of you that found him attractive? Yes. Yeah, sure but were you in love with him? No. No, there's no way.

"FUCK!" you shouted to your empty apartment, as you paced through the living room, "why would she say that? It doesn't matter. I don't love him. I mean, he's Jake. He's just the guy who teases me for literally every move I make. So, he knows that my favourite colour changes every week, who cares? That doesn't mean anything. Sure, you knew that he loves Country music more than he's actually confessed in his interviews, but that's just what happens when you're friends with someone. And, yes, when the light hit him just right, he looked like he was covered in gold but that's not him. That's the sun... It's not like he's a god or anything, he's just got blonde hair and the sun does stuff to blonde hair..." you could feel yourself making excuses but you had to because maybe you didn't want it to be true. You couldn't be in love with him, could you? "Fuck" you sighed.

Jacob's P.O.V

You had been ignoring (Y/N) for almost a week at this point. You weren’t sure what to do or say to her knowing now, for sure, that she only thought of you as friends but you hated not having her around. She had become such an integral part of your life and not having her there just felt... wrong

“Jake, talk to me, please!” she texted and you sighed, staring at your phone and contemplating an answer but you just couldn’t think of something to say, “JAKE! I know you’re getting these messages. Just let me talk to you please. If you don’t want to say anything fine but I need to talk to you”

“Are you gonna leave me alone if I let you talk?” you finally gave in

“Yes,” she sent back, “but I need to see you to say all of this...”

“Seriously?” you scoffed

“Yes. Seriously. Please?”

“Fine. When are you free?”

“Right now!” she replied quickly

“I can’t right now. I literally just walked into the locker room, how about tomorrow?”

“How about after practice? I can meet you at the Dome...”

“Fine” you huffed to yourself

“Everything okay?” Tanny asked when he heard your exasperation

“Yeah” you sighed, holding up your phone to let him know that it was something on there

“Great!” (Y/N) added, “I’ll see you at four?”

“Yeah sure, fine” you tossed your phone into the shelf in your stall and rubbed your face in frustration

“Yo, Marky...” Chris continued, noticing your stress, “seriously man, what’s going on?”

“(Y/N) wants to meet up and ‘talk’” you replied, putting air quotes around talk

“The girlfriend wants to break up huh?” he chirped and you scoffed, shaking your head in return

“I’ve been ignoring her for like a week. I don’t know what to say to her... I’ve been able to hide my feelings for her for so long but she finally said to my mom, on my birthday, that all we’ll ever be is friends and, I don’t know, I just don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know if I can hide how I feel anymore”

“She has feelings for you, too” he said

“Yeah.. she thinks of me as a big brother”

“No,” he countered, “she has the same feelings for you as you do for her. She’s just scared to admit it”

“Why would she be scared to admit it?” you said dumbly

“Because,” he smirked, “it would mean admitting that guys and girls can’t just be friends. That there’s always some kind of attraction and that sex gets in the way”

“Sex?” you blushed

“I’m not saying you’ve had sex or that you’re going to,” he admitted, “I’m just saying, I’ve met (Y/N) before and she’s always said that she doesn’t agree with the idea that guys and girls can’t be friends because someone always wants to sleep with someone else. But if she admits to having feelings for you, then all of that becomes... hypocritical”

“She wouldn’t be that petty...”

“I wouldn’t call it petty,” he said, heading back toward his stall to continue putting on his gear, “I would call it stubborn.” By the end of practice, you were looking for (Y/N) everywhere but there was no one in the stands and you figured she must have wanted to meet you in the parking lot so you could drive her somewhere private. You took a quick shower and packed up your bag, looking at your phone quickly to see if there was anything from her but your screen was clear, forcing your brow to crease in response

“Take it easy, guys” you smiled as you made your way out of the locker room, waving to the team before catching Tanny give you a head nod. You practically ran out of the building to find (Y/N) when you saw her arguing with a security guard

“Oh, Jake! Finally. I’ve been arguing with this guy for like an hour. He wouldn’t let me in!” she explained through gritted teeth

“It’s fine. Thank you,” you said to the guard, pulling her away from him and toward your car, “what is wrong with you? You can’t argue with Security, you’re tiny. You’re not a threat, you just look like a chihuahua”

“Ha ha” she replied sarcastically

“Am I taking you somewhere to talk or what’s going on?” you spat

“Do you wanna go somewhere?” she asked

“I wanna know what you wanna talk about and then maybe I can decide if we should go somewhere” you admitted, stomping off to your car

“I wanna talk about us” she whimpered as she caught up to you. You caught her eye for just a second before shaking your head

“Get in the car” you scoffed and she did as you told her. The two of you were silent for a while before (Y/N) tried to get you to start talking but you shushed her, keeping the ride silent aside from the radio until you got to relatively empty part of Prince’s Island Park. “Alright,” you said sternly as you slammed the door shut, “talk”

“I...” she hesitated, closing the door lightly

“What?”

“I never--”

“Never meant to hurt me?” you interrupted thinking you were finishing her thought

“I never wanted to be with you...” she admitted and you scoffed in return

“Wow... thanks. Glad we could have this talk”

“No, wait, Jake, stop,” she sighed, “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t realize how you felt until like a week ago. Apparently, everyone else around me knew but I was too stupid to see it. I thought we both wanted the same thing”

“And that was to never be with each other?”

“I thought we just wanted a friend”

“Because I can’t get my own friends?”

“Because I didn’t think you thought of me like that” she shouted

“Why not?” you exclaimed

“You never really did anything to make me think otherwise!”

“Sure I did!”

“Jake... come on. You never did anything differently...”

“I drove you places” you tried and she scoffed

“Oh no, you’re right,” she teased, “how could I not have known?”

“How about me calling on Valentine’s Day?”

“How was I supposed to know that was anything other than you having a day off?” It was a fair point, actually. She knew that you’d often lose track of days when you were on the road and, sometimes, you’d miss holidays altogether

“I never forgot your birthday!” you said as if that proved something

“And?”

“And... you should’ve known then”

“Jake, it doesn’t matter,” she sighed, “the point is that I didn’t notice until now.”

“So what?” you asked, “you wanted to talk to tell me that you never wanted to be with me? I don’t get why you couldn’t just wait for me to come to you or why you had to stop everything for this”

“Jake..”

“I mean no, you didn’t stop everything but you might as well have”

“Jake...” you heard her say, trying to get you to stop but you continued rambling

“But that’s what I do. For you. I drop everything as soon as you call or text because you need me and I like that you need me, so I stop and run to you”

“Jacob!”

“WHAT?”

“I LOVE YOU, TOO” she shouted over you, her eyes closing softly when she realized how loud she was. “I didn’t realize it until I looked back at everything and I didn’t think it was actually how I felt because, I mean, it’s you...” she chuckled, “and it’s me. We couldn’t be an ‘us’ but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted there to be an ‘us.‘ I knew you were mad, you weren’t taking my calls or responding to my texts -- even though I saw that you had read them -- and I didn’t want to make things worse but I hated not having you around to tell me that I burnt my pizza, again, or that I should eat more fish or that I was a terrible tour guide. I hated not hearing your voice everyday or seeing your smile,” you began walking toward her as she continued to ramble, your heart warm with each word that left her lips, “I was always confused why you weren’t with anyone and why I was happy that you never were but when I figured it out, everything made sense. You finally made sense...” she stopped when you stood in front of her, closing any space between the two of you

“You done?” you asked with a smirk

“I-I think so...” she stammered as your hands crept to the sides of her neck, your thumb pushing her chin up so you could lean down and capture her lips slowly. She welcomed your lips as if they had been missing from hers for a lifetime but her arms stayed at her sides for a minute longer until it was too much for her and she let her hands clutch your wrists while your tongue glided across her lip to gain access inside her mouth. She let out a small moan when her mouth opened, earning a smirk from you before your hands fell from her neck, down her body, until they cupped her ass and you picked her up; her legs instinctively wrapping your hips, mirroring her arms wrapping around your neck. You set her down on the hood of your car while your tongues intertwined with each other and her fingers tangled in your hair. It took a while for either of you to break the kiss, leaving her chest heaving as she tried to her breath

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long” you laughed as her head fell against your chest and you kissed her forehead

“And?” she asked, lifting her head back up to look at you

“It was better than I thought it would be”

“Gee,” she scoffed, pushing your shoulder playfully, “thanks”

“I think we just need to keep doing it” you teased

“I can do that”

“Good” you whispered, leaning back in to press a kiss to her lips as she smiled against your lips

“Maybe we should go somewhere private” she whispered

“Sure” you replied, distracted by the feel of her skin under your fingertips, before you moved your lips to her neck, eliciting small whimpers from her

“Jake...” she moaned and you hummed against her skin, smirking to yourself, “somewhere private...”

“Fine,” you smirked, reluctantly agreeing with you before picking her up again to carry her back into the passenger seat. You sat in the drivers seat but didn’t make any moves, half hoping that she’d pull you into the backseat and say that this was ‘private enough’ but she didn’t do that. Instead, she leaned across the centre console and kissed your cheek

“Let’s go” she whispered in your ear, making you smile before your hand found its way to her knee, stationing itself there throughout the drive. She stopped you from moving your hand further up your thigh by grabbing it, holding it with both of hers

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing her hand to your lips, “we’re gonna have a lot of fun together”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “I think so, too.”

#Jacob Markström #Jacob Markstrom #Jacob Markstrom Imagine #Jacob Markstrom fic #Jacob Markström Imagine #Jacob Markström fic #NHL #Hockey #Calgary Flames #Hockey Fic #Hockey Imagine #Vancouver Canucks #Flames #Canucks #Friends to Lovers #masterlist #the other masterlist

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sazc94 · 3 years

Text

The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart.

This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.

Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts. Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)

Part 1 Here

No smut but mentions of sex so 18+ Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship

Words 3368 it's Suburban AU.

2015 You finished up Uni staring in the school's production of Rock of Ages, Playing Sherry opposite Loki’s drew. Loki also moved to New York staying with his half brother Thor Oddinson. You stayed in touch with Loki and Pietro. The thing that took you by surprise however was six months after moving to Detroit, whilst working for Bruce Banner's start-up you received a DM on Instagram from Bucky. He heard from Sam and Jane that you were now living in Detroit and he was moving to the area after being scouted by the Detroit Lions. Hey Y/N, I hope you’re good. I know this is random and please feel free to tell me where to go, but I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime? It would be great to see you again and catch up. Let me know. So you replied feeling like maybe after all this time it might be good to finally hear Bucky’s apology. Pietro and you had stayed in touch but you knew he was dating someone else. Her name was Sue Storm, she seemed like a nice girl, very smart and could easily give Pietro a run for his money. After hearing Bucky’s apology, you two started to become friends again, he invited you along to his games always offering to secure you two tickets if you wanted to bring someone. He was a machine on the football field, earning the strange nickname The Winter Soldier.

2016

Everything changed in the summer of 2016 though when Bucky’s mother passed away suddenly in June. She had practically helped raise you, so you attended the funeral with Bucky. You stayed with him in the guest room in his childhood house, helping him sort through belongings and paperwork. Bucky’s dad had died when you were 8 and Bucky like you was an only child. You took in food from neighbours wanting to pay their respects. You held his hand squeezing it in comfort during the funeral, assuring him you were there for him. Two days after the funeral you and Bucky had finished packing up the final boxes, you were upstairs, and he was downstairs being awfully quiet. You went looking for him only to find him sat on the living room floor. He was crying holding a picture of you and him one Halloween when you were 9, Bucky had gone as Superman and you as Supergirl. Your mums stood behind you, both of them chuckling whilst you and bucky tried to out pose one another. Your heart swelled. Your Grandad had died in November and god how your heart had ached, but to lose your mum, you couldn’t even begin to imagine. “Hey, hey. It's alright I’m here Buck”, you said cradling his head to your chest whilst he sobbed. You stayed like that for an unidentifiable amount of time before Bucky’s crying eased. He looked up at you blinking away the stray tears, the familiar blue in his eyes pulling you in. Your not sure who kissed who first but that was how you and Bucky ended up sleeping together.

You and Bucky officially got back together in July. Your Grandma passed away in September, the start of football season. Bucky was unable to attend the funeral, he tried god he tried. Pietro made it though. He and Sue had broken up not that he told you. By the time November rolled around things were good between you and Bucky. Wanda’s fashion label Scarlett Witch was taking off and she invited you and Bucky out to join the rest of the old gang at the official launch in December of 2016. You accepted and for the pair of you assuring Bucky, there would be no awkwardness. Pietro was casually dating and was bringing a date called Crystal.

You arrived at the party in NYC completely blown away. Wanda had asked you to wear a piece from the evening wear collection, a Black strapless dress, the top if form-fitting made from chiffon fabric, the skirt cut out the front made of black tulle sparkled with the touches of glitter. It felt like you were wearing the Milky Way. After stopping to pose for photos for the press you made your way inside. The party was being held inside a beautiful gothic building. “Y/n! You look absolutely amazing, thank you so much for wearing this and of course for coming” Wanda practically pounced on you the minute she spotted you. “Bunny! I agree absolutely amazing. Bucky, you don’t look too bad yourself” Pietro said kissing you on the cheek. Pietro was wearing a deep blue suit, it made his hair and ice-blue eyes pop. Bucky had opted for the simple black tux to match you and your dress. He almost looked good enough to eat. After grabbing a glass of champagne, Wanda and Pietro took you to the rest of the gang who had made it. Jane was here with a date, Thor Oddinson you recognised him from the few times he had been to see you and Loki in shows. Carol was here too. Peter Parker was working the event as a photographer he had brought a date a lovely young lady called Mary Jane Watson. After about 45 minutes of schmoozing and catching up, you went to the ladies room. When you exited you were a little taken aback by the sight that confronted you, a redhead was hanging of Bucky’s arm chuckling away with Thor and Jane. You could only see the back of her from where you were standing. You decided to walk over and introduce yourself. However, when you got closer to the group the woman started to look vaguely familiar.

“Hey babe,” Bucky said as you approached quickly removing his arm from the redhead. Babe. That was weird he never called you babe. His blue eyes looked like they were hiding something. “Lady Y/N. This is Lady Natasha” Thor said introducing you. The redhead turned to shake your hand smiling at you with a knowing look. “Lovely to finally meet the infamous Y/N,” she said. “I told Bucky how disappointed I was not to meet you when I was in the City in September. I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. Bucky kept me company whilst I was around on some Business” her voice sounded harmless, sweet and pleasant. Genuine. Her eyes and knowing smirk told a different story. Bucky looked at you, the familiar betrayal in his eyes, pleading with you. “I was just telling Bucky, I’ve been offered this amazing opportunity in Detroit so Ill be moving there in February, isn’t that wonderful?” she asked. You smiled taking a swig of your champagne. Jane looked at you, then Bucky. You shook your head.

That was the second time Bucky Barnes broke your heart. He assured you that they hadn’t slept together, however had admitted that he had kept her visit from you and that she had kissed him. “Did you kiss her back?” you asked pacing around your hotel room. “Doll, please what does it matter,” he asked reaching out for you. His calloused hands once again burning your skin with his betrayal. The fact he had chosen not to answer was all the confirmation you needed. You had left him in the hotel room. Loki had been unable to make the event due to being in a small play off-Broadway, but you had texted him asking if he wanted to get a drink. You had told him everything and he had walked you back to your hotel room. You were drunk and distressed. Bucky had opened the door his blue eyes flashing with jealousy when the handsome black-haired gentleman had his arms around you. “Easy James, if anything was going to have happened between us, it would have happened in freshman year of college,” Loki said helping you into your room. After you and Bucky returned to Detroit you guys took a break for a few months.

2017

Natasha’s job conveniently happened to be working as a fitness instructor at the Detroit Lions. After 4 months you and Bucky got back together in March of 2017. Things were going great, Natasha seemed to have released whatever hold she had on Bucky. Bucky was performing well with the Lions, his new teammate, Steve Rogers nicknamed Captain America seemed to have caught the eye of many ladies including Natasha. He however didn’t seem that interested in her and had his sights set on a girl from his home in Brooklyn her name was Peggy. Steve and you hit off due to your mutual disinterest in Miss Romanoff, he had come up with a nickname for her, he called her Black Widow because she seemed to devour the men in her life. Banners start-up tech company had taken off with thanks to your ad campaigns. You were also performing in the local summer show of Mamma Mia playing Sophie. In the summer of 17, Peggy Carter came to visit Steve, turned out she was from Britain originally. You liked Peggy and her no-nonsense approach. During July, the four of you went on lots of double dates like you were high schoolers again. For Steve’s birthday which happened to be the fourth of July, the four of you attended an event being put on by the Detroit lions. You had a great evening mixing with various teammates and their families. You even warmed to Natasha a bit that afternoon.

As the evening rolled around a giant cake was brought out to celebrate Steve’s birthday. Followed by a firework show. Everyone made their way to various blankets and cushions set out at the opposite end of the stadium. Somewhere along the way you and Bucky got separated. You didn’t worry too much, to begin with as you’d both drifted off to interact with various people throughout the event, however by the time the fireworks started Bucky was nowhere to be seen. You started to think the worst until you spotted Natasha’s red hair on the other side of the stadium flirting with a gaggle of players from various other teams who were invited. Confident Bucky would return shortly you turned your attention to the sky watching with a goofy grin, things were finally settled between you and Bucky. As the fireworks went on you decided to snap a few shots on your phone loving the way the sky lit up with bright colours. The Detroit Lions didn’t do things in small doses, so the firework display ended up going on for about an hour and a half. After about 45 minutes Bucky returned from wherever he had been slipping down behind you pulling your back flush to his chest. He stroked small circles on your arms. His rough calloused skin making you shiver from the contact.

In September you were approached by Tony Stark’s PA Pepper Potts, they had seen your campaigns for Bruce Banner and Tony was interested in headhunting you. Your contract with Bruce was up in October. You initially shot the idea down. Why would you want to leave Michigan? Your family home was a short 20-minute drive away, Bucky was doing well with the Lions. Peggy Carter was moving here after Steve had proposed at the end of Summer. It seemed ludicrous. After initially shooting down the offer. Pepper contacted you, doubling their initial offer. The offer was tempting, so you told Miss Potts you would think it over the weekend. There was no harm in bringing it up with Bucky, maybe a move would do you both good, Natasha seemed to have gotten under Bucky’s skin again. You left the office early that day. You didn’t bother to text Bucky figuring you could surprise him when he got home from training with a home-cooked meal. You stopped off to get some supplies to make Lasagne before heading over to his apartment figuring you could just let yourself in. You had called Wanda on the drive over through your cars Bluetooth. She and Vision were engaged, and she wanted you to be one of her bridesmaids. Partway through the call, Pietro had walked into Wanda’s office so you had told them both about the job offer. When you got to Bucky’s you immediately recognised the Black Widows black Mercedes. “huh, that’s weird, I wonder what she’s doing here,” you said out loud “who’s where?” asked Wanda. “oh um nothing, look I got to go I just got to Buck’s and I’m cooking dinner, going to talk to him about Tony’s offer,” you said before hanging up. You were so blind-sighted by Natasha’s car you didn’t clock Bucky’s Motorcycle parked in the corner of the small parking lot. You grabbed your bags walking up to Bucky’s figuring that you could invite Natasha in if need be whilst you waited for Buck to come home.

If you had noticed Bucky’s bike, then just maybe you would have been more prepared for the following events you unlocked Bucky’s apartment and you found clothes strewn everywhere, his jeans. A white Blouse. His boxer trunks. A Black lacy bra, that definitely didn’t belong to you. At first, you were so shocked by what you saw that you didn’t hear the moans coming from the bedroom. It was like you were possessed you carried your bag of groceries as you walked in a daze to the bedroom, you opened the door and found Bucky once again cheating on you. He and Natasha were in the throws of fucking each other, you found Natasha with her back to you, wrapped around Bucky’s waist. Bucky sat upright facing you however his eyes closed whilst he drank in the pleasure. You felt your heartbreak as you dropped your bag of groceries. The bag made a thud as it hit the ground, alerting Bucky to your presence. His eyes flew open connecting with yours. Natasha however didn’t stop riding your boyfriend’s cock. Bucky tried to push her off him, but you were already storming out the door. You grabbed your bag and left Bucky’s spare key in the door. Bucky grabbed a pair of joggers and slippers before chasing after you. Bucky’s apartment was on the second floor. All the apartments on the second floor opened outside to a walkway.

“Really James?!?” you turned round to face him before he could even say your name. “Was once not enough? Did you not hurt me enough the first time?” You asked. You could feel the anger threatening to burst in the way of tears. Bucky went to speak, his blue eyes once again filled with guilt. “How long?!” you asked quietly. Bucky moved towards you tugging on your wrist. “Come on Y/N, come back inside it’s starting to rain, we can discuss this inside,” he said, his eyes pleading with you. At that moment Natasha appeared in Bucky’s open doorway. She looked pleased with herself, wearing Buck’s shirt. The site made you want to vomit. “How. Long?!” you asked again through gritted teeth. Bucky faltered. “Since July. Since the 4th of July event,” he admitted rubbing his hand over his face. At that moment you felt completely and utterly broken. “I’m done, James. Do you hear me? I am done. We are through. You two.” You pointed to Natasha. “You two are welcome to one another”. That was the third time Bucky broke your heart.

You took the job working for Stark Industries. Your contract had ended with Bruce but your lease on your apartment was up until January so you stayed working for him until December of 2017 You said your goodbyes to Steve and Peggy in January and moved across the country to your new life in the big apple.

December 2018

The unknown number flashed up on your phone for the third time that day. You sighed before answering it. “Hello, Y/N Speaking how can I help?” you asked fiddling with your jumper. “Hey Doll, it's me. Don’t hang up.” Your breath caught in your throat. James Buchanan Barnes. You hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. He hadn’t even attempted to reach out to you after you split up mailing your things back to you, well all but a scarf. In January shortly before you’d moved to NYC you’d seen a magazine article saying the Winter Soldier was dating Natasha Romanoff. It confirmed what you already knew deep down, which was that you might be okay but you were not fine at all.

You’d worked so hard to forget about him long enough to forget why you needed to. He had better have a damn good reason for calling you. “You have 5 minutes,” You said getting up from the sofa you were sat on. “look, I know I fucked up with you. In more than one way on more than one occasion. I think it was the pressure to be the perfect couple, you know lifelong friends to more. And well I guess I just freaked out, and then I fell for her, but she didn’t want me, and when you gave us another shot, I thought I could convince myself to love you the way I did her, the way you had loved me. But truth be told, it was always Natasha after that summer. I know you deserve better, and I truly am sorry for hurting your doll. But I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the news. She’s pregnant and also, we’re getting married.” Bucky said. You stood in the middle of the apartment stunned. “So, you call me up again, just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest?” you whispered. Squeezing back the tears. “Well fuck you, James.” With that, you hung up. Of course, Bucky tried to ring right back, you declined the call, falling to your knees in pain. You had never asked for any of this, you had been quite happy being Bucky’s best girl as his friend. He was the one who kissed you at that prom.

You weren’t still in love with Bucky, you had moved on, forgetting about him and the pain he caused you. He hadn’t needed to call you, he could have given you a heads up through one of your mutual friends, but no. he had to go and stick the knife in. After lying there like a crumpled-up piece of paper and letting the tears fall. You picked yourself up. You washed your face and made yourself a mug of hot chocolate grabbing a Christmas cookie from the tin before making your way over to the bay window. You sat down taking in the view. The traffic had eased off a bit as things wound down for the evening. The snow had been falling pretty much all day. After about 15 minutes of sitting peacefully the key in the lock turned. You didn’t move you were incredibly content where you were, even if you could use a refill in the hot chocolate department.

“Hey handsome how was your day?” you asked not taking your eyes away from the street below. A group of kids were throwing snowballs at one another. You smiled to yourself enjoying their innocence. “It was good, busy” he replied taking off his coat and walking over to join you at the window seat. Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “How about you Bunny? I saw a news alert. I’m guessing you know about the engagement?” he asked. You hummed a response. Before shuffling yourself around to face him. His floppy silver-blonde hair covering those beautiful ice blue eyes, they looked at you with such love and endearment, they also spoke a silent promise that he would never hurt you the way that Bucky had. You kissed him gently on the lips before standing up. “Come on Quicksilver let's shower before the Stark Christmas Gala,” you said pulling your boyfriend along behind you shooting him a knowing grin. His nickname may be Quicksilver for athletic reasons but there were some things he liked to take his time with.

A/N If you stuck with me through all this, I am truly sorry. I'm gonna go cry

Tagging the bestie @lannycleave

#bucky x reader #pietro x reader #avengers au #marvel #marvel au #avengers fanfiction #𝐦𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬𝟐𝐤 #bucky barnes fluff #pietro #pietro fluff #bucky barnes #pietro fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction

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autumnwoodsdreamer · 3 years

Note

Hey, just wanted to say I kove your blog. Would you mind doing a bit of meta for Avengers Asssemble vs MCU. I’ve also recently developed this sort-of SU where after Endgam MCU Tony wakes up as AA Tony, and goes “actually I like these Avengers more, can I keep them?” And wondered of your thoughts on that.

Thank you for such a lovely ask (and giving me an excuse to gush about Avengers!)

You have no idea how much I dream of MCU!Tony waking up as AA!Tony and finally getting to experience the team as he believed it could be! Might leave my thoughts on that for another post but, yes, I so want to see that too!

Okay, onto the analysis! Gonna start with a little disclaimer: I recognize and respect that the MCU and Avengers Assembe are two separate iterations, told through different mediums with their own unique advantages and limitations. So don’t anyone worry: I’m not gonna hate on either of them. Now that that’s said, here’s why AA is superior...

In a nutshell, the Avengers Assemble team is what their MCU counterparts could have been had they made the choice to stay together.

See, their universes are practically identical up until the Battle of New York. But, in the MCU, they just called it a day after that and went off to fight their own battles like lone gunslingers.

Meanwhile, in AA, the team stayed together after their first victory. Granted, it wasn’t smooth sailing and it didn’t work out immediately: they had some falling out we aren’t shown (Tony repeatedly claims it’s his fault, but given his guilt complex, that may not be 100% true) and they broke up the band for a time. But they came back together in a heartbeat when they thought they had to avenge Cap; then, seeing their potential, seeing that they really were stronger as a team, they chose to stay assembled.

From there on, the universes are so completely dissimilar, it’d be funny if it weren’t so sad.

In AA, they face dozens of bad guys and disasters on a regular basis, and they face them together.

MCU: they have, like, one batch of bad guys in a blue moon and either tackle them alone, or on a good day, maybe two or three of them will team-up. They only drag everyone into the same room when it’s absolutely necessary (though what constitutes “necessary” is still up in the air because I think Hydra-is-actually-SHIELD calls for a full assembly, Steven).

AA: in between missions, they live together in the Tower, training and refining their skills as individuals as well as a team.

MCU: again: lone gunslingers.

AA: they obey just laws, try their hardest to minimalize collateral damage, always take the time to evacuate an area of civilians, don’t rush into foreign countries without clearance.

MCU: See: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

AA: when one of them does something totally out of character (e.g. Tony helping Galactus consume an inhabited planet, or Natasha stealing the Infinity Gems) they don’t take it on face value. It shocks them, yes, but it doesn’t immediately shake their faith. They hold on, try to understand, try to step back and see if there’s a bigger issue at play, and when they find the reason, they throw everything into supporting their teammate.

MCU: whatever trust they have is... tenuous, at best, and they give each other up way too easily. (Both Age of Ultron and Civil War expose this).

AA: they aren’t just a team, they aren’t even just friends: they’re a family. They have inside jokes, they play video games in their downtime, and they pull petty pranks on each other. Shawarma Night is a thing. They are forever stealing each other’s food (“If you wanna blame yourself for something, blame yourself for eating Hulk’s guacamole... because he’s gonna smash me for that.”) They even do each other’s laundry! Now, those things may seem silly, but I can tell you: when you live with a bunch of people for a long time, a good sense of humour is indicative of a good relationship and a healthy environment. My mom once told me that a peaceful home isn’t necessarily a quiet one: it’s one where you feel safe to speak up, to be loud, to laugh or cry. This team has exactly that.

MCU: years and years of supposedly working together, and yet they know next to nothing about each other. (“Do we know if she had a family?” What?!)

AA: reduced Thanos to atoms in their 2nd season; only took eight of them and some civilians with bricks. No one died and they even created world peace for a weekend.

MCU: couldn’t defeat Thanos without messing up a couple of timelines, pulling in entire armies and a bazillion heroes from all over the galaxy, and losing two founding Avengers in the process.

I have so many other areas I could delve into, like their Civil Wars or how much I adore this version of Sam Wilson, but I’ll conclude with: the Avengers Assemble team is what we all hoped the MCU would become. This version of the team knows and trusts and—let’s just say it—they love each other, and that makes them strong and it makes their whole world brighter.

The MCU Avengers... would never have survived the AA universe.

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donkey-hyuck · 3 years

Text

𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃; 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂: 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

three card spreads↴

tarot cards;

the hermit (upright)

contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance

strength (upright)

inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus

the emperor (reversed)

tyranny, rigidity, coldness

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

word count- 18,355 (woah wtf😳)

genre- angst baby || fluff || yk just pure angst || high school! au in the beginning || college!au || bittersweet ||

characters/pairing- kinda popular kid!lee jeno x fem!volleyball player!reader || nct dream including mark || sooyoung

introduction- maybe you two just had enough of each other. being involved in one another’s lives could have just taken a huge toll on the both of you. so after finally separating practically your whole lives, you may both think you’re fine; but inside, neither of you can let each other go. one heated argument leads to another and you may have just lost your best friend, the love of your life… or maybe you didn’t…. or maybe you did.

taglist! @badwithten, @jenoji, @joyfuleggsfishbanana, @proseeuhn, @danishmiilk

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“mommy! jeno just pulled my hair!” your five year old self shouted as five year old jeno huffed and turned the other way. his mother had been out for the day for a job interview and your mother had promised to take care of him. the two of your mothers’ had been friends since middle school, grew up together, went through their adolescence, helped each other with university work. they were the best of friends, inseparable. and when they found out they were both pregnant at the same time, they were ecstatic to raise their children together.

you and jeno had known each other your entire lives up to that point. he was only four months older than you but he acted as if he was so superior, and it just made you ticked off. throughout elementary school—mostly kindergarten and first grade— the two of you never got along and fought constantly. your mothers’ tried to make you like each other but to no avail.

“mom! y/n pinched me!” five year old jeno yelled to his mother as you stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your arms. your mother had brought you along to their house when that happened and it just seemed as if the two of you would never get along.

but all that changed when you entered middle school. well, not completely, but you had his back when he needed it. mostly when you were forced to help tutor jeno in your science class, or when he had a crush on one of your good friends. he had your back too, telling you not to get into fights with the girls who thought they were so much better than you, or trying to set you up on dates with his friends. middle school was truly a place where you and jeno put away whatever feud the two of you had going on. middle school with jeno was actually fun, graduating your eighth grade class, messing around with teachers, meeting new friends. there was just so much enjoyment for the both of you during those years.

when high school came along, the two of you had been in separate classes, you being put in advanced placement and jeno being put in stem. that was kind of the first time you have been separated from each other at school. during your primary days, you and jeno had the same schedules and it seemed like fate wanted you two together. but when you entered high school, you were both more distant toward each other, specifically during all of junior and most of senior year.

freshman year was more of an experience. it was weird to not see jeno through the halls, let alone not have classes with him. but the two of you were just as inseparable as your mothers’, and met up with each other after school anyway, whether it was your mom picking the two of you up or his.

you were two peas in a pod and had seemed to always be teased by your peers, even when you denied liking each other. if it was true or not, no one had believed you and the two of you were stuck as the couple throughout the entirety of freshman year.

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.” as you two said.

but new years of 2016 all changed the way jeno had perceived you. he was invited to a new years party with a few of his friends— na jaemin and lee donghyuck— and jeno had seemingly been gullible enough to believe the lies people were saying about you. about how you started the rumor of him dating a model his age from overseas, the rumor about him making out with younghee during his free period one thursday morning, or the rumor about him liking eunseo. he was furious to know that you were the one who spread all of the gossip around school, pushing past the idea that you and him had been connected by the hip since you were born. pushing past the idea that you truly weren’t like that. but jeno was enraged, nonetheless.

while he was feeding off of lies people had told him that night, your family— as well as his— were spending the new year right. you and your family had been invited to the lee’s for the countdown and you noticed your best friend wasn’t there.

“y/n! jeno’s not here, he’s with donghyuck and jaemin for a new years party tonight. i hope you won’t be bored here,” said his mother with a look of disappointment in her eyes. you shook your head and smiled, “it’s okay, aunty. i have minjung!” although you were excited to have some alone girl time with his older sister, jeno had never told you about attending a new years party that night. and to think about it more, hyuck nor jaem had told you either. it was weird. but you just pushed that all aside and walked down the hall to minjung’s room. at the time you were fifteen and she was eighteen and a well-known senior at your high school.

“minjung!” you bursted through her door and she immediately ran to hug you. “y/n! i missed you!” she hugged back as nal nudged your calf in a greeting. picking up the feline, you walked out of the room to eat and sit in the living room to play some family games.

your two families counted down together and it was officially 2016. your parents had decided to stay for another hour before going back home. but during that hour, hyuck’s mom had dropped off jeno and he was met with your families laughing and having the time of their lives together. another year, another long friendship that was to never end; or so your parents thought.

jeno came home upset that night. he felt betrayed and disappointed that you would say those things about him but all the more that made him angry. his mother had greeted him but he coldly shook it off and took to his room. you were shocked, jeno never acted that way towards his mother. you didn’t notice how quiet it was until your parents nudged you to talk to him.

“uhm.. aunty, uncle. i’ll go talk to jeno, see what’s up with him.” and for some unknown reason, you were nervous walking down to his bedroom.

carefully, you knocked and let yourself slide through the door, “jen…? are you okay? why’d you do that to your mom?” your voice was soft, just more of a way to not trust you. you were a hoax. at least, to jeno you were.

“i’m fine, y/n. get out of my room, i need to shower,” he rushed you out only making you want to say and ask a million questions about what was going on in that moment.

“no. what’s wrong with you? what happened tonight?” your brows furrowed and that was when he turned to you with stone cold eyes.

“none of your business. now get out!”

you don’t think jeno had made you cry since you were little but this was the first time a tear had shed because of the person you cared most about. however, you could never really recall why you cried that night. it wasn’t a bawling kind of cry, more of a sniffly kind of cry. whether it was frustration or shock, you walked out of his room as you wiped your tears with your sweater. it’s probably only a mood, you tried to convince yourself.

boy were you wrong.

the next few months were like this; you constantly trying to get jeno’s attention, crying about losing your best friend, and questioning what had happened to get him so upset at you. it was all a mind-fuck and you missed jeno. and by the time sophomore year was over, you and jeno had seemed to become less and less involved with each other when your parents were invited to their house or vice versa. around midway summer vacation before junior year, you stopped trying to get jeno’s attention because you clearly didn’t matter to him anymore.

both of your parents were confused as to why you stopped talking all of a sudden. you two still saw each other, yes, but there was nothing past the glaring looks of pure hatred. ever since that night, there was never a spare of words between the two of you and your mothers’ were worried.

one morning, before driving off to school, your mother had asked you, “y/n, why don’t you and jeno talk anymore?

“jeno, why don’t you and y/n talk anymore?”

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated.”

—

graduation was two months away and it had been officially two years and a couple months since your friendship breakup.

“hello!! earth to y/n,” waved hyuck with his hands in front of your face. “what’s up with you right now?”

after breaking the news to mutual friends, donghyuck had been stuck between the two of you for the longest time but opted to just stay friends with you and jeno because that wasn’t a petty thing to do. jaemin on the other hand, was a different story. after jeno told jaemin you weren’t friends before he told hyuck, jaemin had texted you to meet by the library to ‘talk.’ turned out, jaemin wanted to stay loyal to his friend and disregard you and your feelings; and that was the end of that relationship. so you basically lost two of your bestest friends within a span of a week without a clue as to why. that was the big question, though…. why?

you blinked as you looked toward his direction. “what do you want, hyuck?” he sighed before answering, “first class is free period, dummy. mrs. choi isn’t here today.” you slowly sighed as well, as donghyuck took you by your hand and dragged you out of the empty classroom.

“let’s go to mr. park’s. we can stay there until class ends. today’s long period anyway,” he explained, dragging you down the hall and up two flights of stairs. donghyuck barged into the room causing everyone to immediately look at the loud boy crashing the lecture.

“lee donghyuck! y/f/n! what are you two doing here? shouldn’t you be in mrs. choi’s room?” mr. park raised a brow.

“ayy mr. park! y/n and i are here because mrs. choi couldn’t make it to class today. besides, you’re our favorite teacher, why else would we come here?” the teacher hummed and excused you to sit at his, fairly large, desk. “just don’t bother my students,” he warned, mostly talking to hyuck. he only responded in a wink and signed a ‘keep going.’

about twenty minutes of unproductive work had passed and you finally looked up to observe the students in mr. park’s stem class. his room wasn’t that big and there were only about nineteen to twenty-four kids in the class. scanning the room, your eyes were met with jeno’s. you slightly snickered as your eyes twitched in annoyance and turned to hyuck.

“hey, guess who’s here.” his brows furrowed as he looked around, finally getting to see jeno. but being the good friend that he was, hyuck waved at jeno before greeting him. they apparently had a handshake and mr. park seemed to notice as he told hyuck to sit back down and for jeno to focus on his work. the tan boy pouted before sitting back at his seat, making some of the girls laugh.

he came back to sit next to you and you rolled your eyes toward jeno and turned to the boy. “really?”

“whaaat? just because you two aren’t friends doesn’t mean that he and i can’t.” what hyuck said was true. you shouldn’t let your aggravation get the best of you. it was donghyuck’s decision to be and to not be friends with people. you huffed out a fine and turned back to your laptop that does not have any completed assignments— though there were only two that you hadn’t done yet. but you knew that free period class was gonna be torture for the next hour or so.

your second period class was, fortunately, in mr. park’s room with hyuck. however, jeno happened to have mrs. choi for second period and asked mr. park to stay in his class for the time being. so while the three of you waited for the students to attend, jeno and hyuck had been messing around and the room filled with their laughter. soon, as the teacher was getting ready for his class, a couple of your extroverted classmates joined along in their joking as you just sat quietly next to hyuck.

while ten minutes had passed of mr. park talking and explaining something along the lines of graphical analysis, hyuck whispered, “what’s up with you today? you’re eerily quieter than usual.” yeah… why were you quieter today?

“uh, i don’t know, hyuck. maybe i’m just not feeling it today, i guess,” you shrugged and looked back to the class work stuck on your desk. then your mind wandered off to the conversation you had with your mother that morning.

“how? you two were the best of friends. what happened to ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart?’” she asked, shoving down a spoonful of rice. but you just shrugged and replied, “hm, i don’t know, mom. he hasn’t spoken a word to me since new years of 2016. it’s been two years. besides, if he doesn’t want to be friends with me without telling the reason, then that’s on him. i quit trying a long time ago.”

it was true. after jeno pushed you off on multiple occasions, you had stopped trying to get on good terms again. he was the immature one in the first place; you just tried to fix whatever was going on.

but soon enough, second period was over and out you were to mr. yang’s ap chemistry class. sooyoung— one of your closest girl friends— had happened to be in that class as well so when you entered the room she immediately called you over. you sat down at the lab table where she was seated and rested your face against it.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” she asked, making you look up at her while rubbing your face from all the questions about your sudden change in behavior.

“nothing much. well… mrs. choi isn’t here today so hyuck dragged me to mr. park’s class and that asshole lee jeno was in there,” you explained to her but she got confused because you never really associated yourself with him since the sudden split. she was about to ask why you were so caught up with him all of a sudden but it was as if you could read her mind because your next sentence was, “my mom asked me about him this morning. she’s still bugging me about why we aren’t friends… his mom too, i’m sure. and i’ve just been thinking about it. usually she would ask and i would answer the same and be fine but i guess today is just not my day.” you'd be lying if you said you didn’t miss lee jeno. you truly did. after all the shenanigans you’ve been through, lee jeno was always by your side.

ugh just stop thinking about it. you told yourself, mentally slapping your face and turning toward the board. but throughout the entire class, you did not pay attention to a word that came out of mr. yangs’ mouth.

once the bell rang, you were snapped out of your trance and quickly packed your things to go to your fourth class of the day— mrs. lim.

walking up the stairs, you met donghyuck in the halls and told him to hurry to mrs. lim’s class before she gets upset. providentially, mrs. lim was short period and there wasn’t much to do besides take notes.

“y/n who do you have next?” donghyuck asked as he waited for you to walk to the door and out to the hallway. “language with ms. jung. you should know this by now, hyuck,” you playfully shook your head and punched his shoulder. he ignored it and asked another question, “oh! so you have first lunch?” you nodded and walked down the stairs to the first floor library.

“yeah but i’m not gonna eat. plus, i don’t know anyone during my lunch.”

hyuck dramatically covered his mouth and gasped. “yes you do, what the fuck? hello… me, duh!” you laughed at his extra self and stuck your hands in your pockets. “i mean besides you. everyone wants to sit with you anyways. and you know i don’t really eat lunch.” your response only made him pout and look at you with a weird face expression. “you know i would rather sit with you any day right, y/n?” you smiled brightly and looked at him. “... i know, but i’m just not hungry. i’ll be in the library for lunch, and after ms. jung’s class. mrs. bae isn’t here today either so i’m just going to spend my time there.”

he muttered in disappointment as he dropped you off at the library before heading to the cafeteria.

“bye stupid. thanks for walking with me.” he smirked and turned around. “bye ugly. i’ll see you here in two hours. love you.”

“love you too.” but a pair of brown eyes watched the whole scene. the scene that made his heart slowly break.

you walked into the library and sat at a vacant three seater table and pulled out whatever you had to finish out of your bag. five minutes had passed of you typing on your computer when a fellow junior— park jisung— walked through the double doors and immediately recognized his favorite senior— you.

“y/n!” he whisper shouted while speed walking to the table you were sitting at. smiling at him, you pulled the chair next to you so he would have a place to sit. then you asked him why he was here.

“mrs. choi isn’t present today so i’m just gonna stay here. mrs. bae isn’t here either, chenle’s gonna come during last period too,” he explained while getting out his computer and a notebook. mrs. bae was your ceramics teacher and it seemed like there were a lot of teachers absent that day; but it was only a regular friday.

after conversing with jisung for another twenty minutes the loud bell signified the end of first lunch and off you were to your language class with ms. jung. you left the library after packing up and bidding jisung a short ‘see ya later.’

however, you forgot lee jeno was also in ms. jung’s class with you until you saw the back of his head turn straight into her room. fuck.

shortly after he walked in and sat down, you walked through the door and toward the back of the class to sit at one of the desks. and you swore jeno was eyeing you down as you passed him, and not in a good way.

but to jeno… he was eyeing you because he just missed you. he missed hanging out with you, especially during class. ever since he had that chat with his mom that morning— as well as seeing you with hyuck in mr. park’s class, and seeing you two announce your appreciation towards each other— he realized that he fucking missed you. so much.

that day was a friday too, so your parents were definitely going over the lee’s tonight. mentally, you rolled your eyes and shut your brain from thinking anything else and to just listen to what ms. jung had planned for the day.

school was boring, though. and your class just continued doing whatever you did during your class, prior.

“okay guys! we’re together for short period on monday, make sure you finish your research over the weekend. you’re free to go.”

you just stuffed your notebook into your bag and walked up the aisle. but you stopped right when jeno had dropped his pen. he picked it up and looked at you, quietly apologizing. you hadn’t heard him, though; he was too quiet so you just paused until he picked it up and walked out of class to the front lobby. he should’ve just spoken up but he was too late.

mrs. bae didn’t have a substitute to fill in for her so you walked to the library, planning to sit at the same table which, thankfully, already seated chenle and jisung. you sat across from the boys and sighed, laying your head down again.

“what’s wrong?” asked chenle. you lifted your head up and lazily smiled before shaking your head.

“nothing. today’s just been tiring, that’s all. you two do your work. i’m gonna try to take a nap.” they both nodded and let you rest for the remaining time, making sure to wake you up before the bell rang.

—

“hyuck!” you ran up to him. he picked you up from your house that morning and so he was going to drop you off. “we have to pick up jangmi today. she stayed after school to help her teachers prepare for their spring formal.”

“really? sungho stayed after school too. what a coincidence,” he chuckled as he unlocked the car door and started it up. jangmi was your little sister in seventh grade and sungho was donghyuck’s younger brother in the same grade, attending the same school. what your poor little sister didn’t know was that sungho had a tiny little crush on her. so said from sungho to hyuck. it was cute.

they both greeted the two of you and talked about their day staying after school.

“are you guys going to the dance together?” asked donghyuck with a slight laugh, making sungho flush red and stutter, “uh.. i don’t know. it’s up to jangmi. but i don’t have a date yet.” his little brothers response made hyuck laugh and you hit his stomach.

“don’t make fun of sungho. it’s not nice. jangmi, do you have a date for the formal?” you looked at her through the rear view mirror. “no. i don’t even know if i wanna go yet.” hyuck laughed again but you flicked his cheek before he could say anything else to his brother. and then it got awkwardly quiet in the backseat of the acura tlx.

“bye, jangmi! bye, y/n!” said hyuck and his brother. “same time tomorrow morning?” he asked after rolling down the window some more. you responded with a nod and walked into your house after waving one last time to the pair of siblings. only to be met with your mother rushing the two of you to change into something formal. your sister whined and asked why.

“we’re meeting at kwonsooksoo to have dinner with the lee’s.”

“but it’s only three p.m. why do we have to get ready now?” you furrowed your brows.

“because i know you girls will take forever. plus, it’s almost a two hour drive from here. we’re supposed to be meeting them at 7:30.”

that was a typical friday night. each of your parents spending way too much money on food that’ll be half finished by the time you left, awkward and nasty looks between you and jeno, and quiet conversations of you and minjung followed by jeno and jangmi.

so while fixing up the makeup on your face, you slowly stopped swiping the brush on your face and looked in the mirror at your reflection, then to the bedside table where you remember you hid a scrapbook from years ago. setting the brush down on your desk, you turned in the chair you were sitting in and opened the drawer to pick up the polaroid picture filled book.

covering the cream colored pages were silly pictures of the two of you from birth to elementary school, fun patterns of washi tape, and the messy handwriting of you and jeno. looking through the reminiscent book, you remembered the stash of old friendship items in a large shoe box hiding under your bed. quickly, you scrambled to the floor and dragged the dusty, wood-like box from its place.

you opened the top of the box and it looked like how you remembered it looked like when you packed it up two years ago. in the box contained some more photo albums and scrapbooks, a few framed pictures, letters that jeno wrote for your birthday—your seventh, tenth, and fourteenth— a few sheets of guitar notes, and a friendship bracelet each of you made for each other. and looking through all of the memories, a single tear had dropped from your face just as your mother walked in the room. she was going to tell you they were ready to leave until she stopped mid sentence, immediately looking sad at her daughter crying because of the friendship she used to have.

“auh… y/n,” her voice was soft as she knelt on the floor and cupped your cheeks in her palms. you just cried and hugged her, constantly saying that you missed him. you missed lee jeno so damn much. and you could never say it enough.

the lee’s never saw you that night. after that whole breakdown, your mother thought it was best to not let you go. it could’ve caused more erect feelings and she didn’t want that for you, even if she did want you to tell jeno that you missed him. but she didn’t force it on you, and they left the house to meet the lee’s without you.

the following hour, a knock was heard at your door.

it was na jaemin.

jaemin had lived in the area, but you were confused and shocked by his presence back in your life. hesitantly, you unlocked the door and there he stood. from the outside, you probably looked emotionless but on the inside, you were freaking the fuck out.

“na jaemin..? what are you doing here?” you had been straight to the point, not wanting to see his face any longer. but he just dryly chuckled and said, “my mom cut the power at my house. it’s gonna be out for a few days but i just wanted to see if you still lived in the area.” it sounded like he was mocking you and it made your eye twitch in annoyance and asked him what he wanted and why he was here.

“whaat? i can’t see an old friend?” that made you pissed and you shoved the door closed. though na jaemin had a fast reflex, and caught the door with his foot before opening it again. this time, your hand was rested on your hip and the other was holding the door, preventing it to be fully opened.

“we don’t like each other, remember. now spill it or i’ll crush your toes with my door.” you were still as sassy as he remembered and it made him genuinely smile this time.

“calm down, princess. i just really wanted to know if you were home since, you know, you and jeno’s family are out.” how did he know? lee jeno, that’s how. you just rolled your eyes and opened the door wider than it was before he just invited himself in your house. didn't he have any respect?

walking in after him, you watched as he sat down on your couch and you leaned on the wall. the space of your living room was quiet until he broke the silence.

“jeno said that you didn’t go with your family today… that’s why i’m here, okay.” he looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

to be honest, you missed jaemin almost as much as you missed jeno. you confessed it to hyuck, and you were almost 100% sure he told at least jaemin that you missed the two.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered out, “i miss you y/n… jeno and i both.”

you looked to the floor then back to the blonde boy, unbelievably. the boys were pranksters and this could be a sick joke.

“don’t lie to me, na,” you hissed out and pushed yourself off the wall to walk into the kitchen, jaemin following after. he sat at the island and watched as you rummaged through the fridge to find something to drink.

“i’m being sincere. we miss you a lot.”

scoffing, you left the kitchen to walk to your room. but you looked back at jaemin, sighed, and motioned him to follow you up to your room.

your room was still the same. the first door to the right when you walk up the stairs. of course, it had been revamped, but it still eluded the energy he always sensed from you since the two of you met. staring at jaemin scanning your room, you remembered how observant he was.

jaemin always knew when something was up, whether it was you being sad, you being frustrated, or when you were just zoning out. he knew you like the back of his hand, even if you didn’t know it. he was quiet but knowledgeable.

while looking around the room, jaemin noticed the old photo albums opened and scattered on your bed. he walked to your bed and picked up the butterfly scrapbook. flipping through the pages, he smiled, and even slightly chuckled at the childish pictures and humorous comments that filled each page. when he was done looking through that photo book, he patted the seat next to him for you to sit down. grabbing the next scrapbook— a pokémon themed title page— he opened it up and leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up.

it was as if he knew there were lots of pictures of him and hyuck in that specific book. it was your eighth grade memory book and you had known hyuck and jaemin for three years prior to that. the sweet smile was still on his face the entire time he flipped through the pages. he read and detected every picture and every little blurb of writing on each page, knowing whose handwriting was who’s.

“i missed this a lot,” he muttered while caressing the printed out picture of the four of you during your eighth grade graduation ceremony. then he glanced up at you. looking nowhere in particular, you whispered out, “me too. so much.” jaemin then sat up and faced you, wiping the tears escaping your eyes. you then looked at him.

“you know, y/n… jeno still has the friendship bracelet you made him,” he said, looking at the colorful arrangement of beads sitting on the floor. “actually, jeno has a lot of things in his room that remind him of you.” he leaned his head against your shoulder once more, lightly wrapping his arms around you to embrace your figure in a hug. then you leaned your head against his, slightly sniffling away the tears and picking up the last scrapbook you made before you stopped being friends.

flipping through the pages, jaemin recollected all the memories from two to three years ago in high school. about halfway through the book, the pictures soon came to a stop. the rest of the pages were left blank. he lifted his head up and there was a frown present on his face.

“you didn’t finish filling it out?” he questioned, getting up and closing the book.

“i didn’t get to. we stopped talking after new years.” he looked back at the page that was last filled. it was pictures of your families together during christmas eve playing secret santa. flashes of smiling faces and wrapping paper on the floor.

‘december 24, 2015, christmas eve. i hung these pictures up late this year. it’s currently january second and jeno won’t talk to me since new years night. i didn’t have the guts to put these pictures in here but these were the last pictures i had of us all being happy. i don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways…. happy new year and goodbye for now, it’s been fun :( - y/n’

jaemin’s heart broke while holding the crinkled paper in his hands. as strong as he was, mentally, his tears dripped onto the last filled page and looked to you. a single tear falling as he blinked. without a word, jaemin embraced you in a warm and comforting hug. a hug you missed for years.

slowly, you wrapped your arms around your ex-best friend as tears puddled your shoulder as he cried harder and harder. and after the ten minute crying session, jaemin had been rather sniffly and puffy eyed. feeling bad and somewhat guilty, you let jaemin stay over your house to have some takeout with you.

“is that why you didn’t go with your family tonight?” he asked, gulping down his water.

“yeah. i was getting ready and then i just remembered about it. the next thing i knew, i was looking through those pictures and crying... my mom felt bad and didn’t want me to go.” he just nodded in acknowledgment and placed down the cup. it was quiet for a few moments before a text message notification was heard.

“i gotta go. my mom’s wondering where i am.” you walked him to the door and opened it, bidding him a goodbye before he trudged down the street toward his house. just as you shut the door, your mother called you that they were almost home.

packing up the food, and tidying up your room, the jiggling keys caught your attention. it was only about 9:45 and your father walked in, followed by your family, and along came the lee’s. of course.

you scurried up the stairs and kicked the box of memories under your bed just as your father opened the door. you turned to him with your hands folded in front of you and awkwardly smiling.

“pooh! the lee’s are here, come say hi.” you figured your mother hadn’t told your father about the little scene she had witnessed. to be honest, he didn’t know how to react in those kinds of situations so you were kind of glad he was oblivious.

you ushered down the stairs in your easter pajamas and hugged mr and mrs. lee. while hugging them, they said they missed you for dinner and asked what was wrong.

“my stomach hurt a little bit earlier and mom said i could stay home for tonight. i’m glad to see you guys, though!” they cheered and nodded as they looked at their son, motioning— with their eyes— to talk to you.

jeno cleared his throat and greeted you with a small ‘hi’ before jangmi dragged him to her room. everyone remaining sighed and went to the living room while you just walked back up to your room. jangmi’s bedroom was diagonally across from yours and you couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“jangmi… what would you say if i said that-” you quit listening and shut the door to your room. blowing the baby hairs out of your face, you looked around your room and was face to face with the guitar sitting in the corner of your room. it was the guitar jeno had bought for your last birthday since you stopped talking. picking up the guitar, you sat back on your bed and grabbed the music sheet from the box, playing the nostalgic tune you and jeno had randomly come up with one day after school.

stepping out of your sisters’ room to go to the bathroom, jeno instantly heard the old song playing in his ears and leaned his head to your closed door. a small smile appeared on his face as he named the notes in his head. his father had come up the stairs and startled jeno, making him move his hand against the elongated doorknob and open your door, causing him to fall back first onto the floor of your bedroom.

you promptly stood up in surprise and your eyes were wide open. was he there the whole time? what was he even doing?

jeno swiftly picked himself off the ground and scratched his head in embarrassment, looking back to his dad who gave him the look. so entering your room and closing the door, you’re met with jeno’s gaze. your heart was pounding and your breathing was heavy, as was his.

tears glossed over your eyes again until he spoke up. “....you still have the music sheet to that?” he refused to look at you.

you gulped and replied, “yeah… i was just, uh, going through some of my old stuff. i found it earlier.” the tension between the two of you was thick and no one wanted to say a word after that.

“uhm.. well, i guess i’ll get going. jangmi’s probably waiting for me.” he was about to leave until he heard your sniffling. he immediately turned around and saw you with your head down and the guitar laying on the floor. he recalled the guitar he bought you for your fifteenth birthday. calmly walking towards your fragile figure, jeno asked what was wrong.

“... you jerk…” you took a deep breath in and looked up at him. “get out of my room… please. jangmi’s waiting…” in that moment, jeno realized that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay with you. so he did the next best thing, walked out, informed your sister in what was going on, quickly walked back to your room and hugged you as tight as he could. maybe your best friend was back.

he just constantly shushed you and held you like you were a piece of glass getting ready to break. one of his hands held your waist and the other held your head against his chest as he swung the two of you back and forth, slowly. jeno just let you cry in his embrace as small tears fell from his eyes as well. the only sounds that filled the room were the sobs that escaped your mouth.

during the time, jangmi had rushed down the stairs to let your parents know what was happening at that very moment. it was a miracle to know that you two were actually close to each other in the same room. you two were true friends, indeed.

the night ended with you drained out and falling asleep against jeno’s chest. just as he and his parents were going to leave, jeno made sure to tuck you in bed and bid you a small goodnight before shutting the lights and leaving with his parents.

—

the following morning— around nine in the morning— you were awoken by the alarm you had set prior. you can feel the puffy of your eyes and instantly remember the night before. you and jeno hugged. you were crying and jeno comforted you. to some degree, there was a small smile on your face as you stretched to get ready for work.

you worked at some pho restaurant— pho-nomenal— downtown and hyuck promised to drop you off even though you were fully capable of driving to work yourself. but he just insisted and said he was going to eat pho with a friend.

“y/n! hyuckie is here!” screamed your sister from downstairs. you replied just as loud saying you were tying up your hair. you said goodbye to your parents and told them you were off work at four.

getting in the car you screamed out what happened last night. donghyuck pretended to be shocked. jeno had already told him by the time they left your house. and hyuck told him that you were working in the morning and to have some pho before off to a college interview.

checking in, sooyoung had greeted donghyuck and sat him down at an open table. he then proceeded to ask sooyoung to ask you to serve for his table. did you mention that sooyoung had a teensy crush on said boy?

she was a little upset but you two were best friends so she just nodded and went to the back to say you had company.

“hyuck, what do you want? why didn’t you let sooyoung serve you today?” you whined while placing down two menus and a buzzer on the table. “because i want you to,” he shrugged and looked past your figure to see jeno walk through the doors. looking back to where your friend was looking, you directly saw jeno as well. that sneaky little prick.

growling and flipping him off, you walked back to the front desk and grabbed some more menus to serve the other people that filled the restaurant.

coming back to hyuck and jeno’s table, you were unable to look jeno in the eyes as he ordered first. when he was finished, you glared at hyuck as he hid his laughter behind the menu. going to the back room, you called out the order and clipped it onto the board and walked back out to stand in front of the main desk. the restaurant wasn’t that busy in the morning so you and your coworkers stood at the front ready to greet other customers and get the meals prepared.

when their food was ready, you rang the buzzer and up came lee jeno. you were going to kill lee donghyuck.

sooyoung and a couple other coworkers were unavailable so you were the only one to give jeno their food.

just as he was about to talk, you gave them their meal and mumbled, “enjoy your food.” it was all too abrupt. but he thanked you and walked down back to the table. both he and donghyuck sighed. you were too stubborn.

“no, hyuck. she’s just scared to be friends with me again. i mean, i would be too if she did that to me. we’ve been best friends since diapers…. sorta… but i still know what kind of person she is,” jeno said, slurping down his noodles and looking at your back as you were preparing some drinks for the other customers. the other boy just shook his head and got ready to take another bite.

once they were finished, and their finished food was taken care of, jeno offered to pay for the meal, just so he could talk to you. as desperate as hyuck was to have the two of you interact, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jeno was paying just for the sake of your relationship.

“total is $16.83,” you hadn’t even said a complete sentence. sure it made sense but it wasn’t complete; and it broke jeno’s heart that you didn’t want to see him anymore. glancing up, donghyuck gives you a look and you already know what he’s going to text you later. rolling your eyes at him, you give jeno his change back. your hands brushed against each other as you handed back his coins and it made jeno slightly shiver.

the rest of the day was pretty boring. some of the same customers, everyone ordering the same things, the busy back room. as your shift was coming to an end, you got a text from hyuck that jeno and jaemin were coming along to pick you up. just great.

hanging up your apron, you texted your mom that the boys, though you told her only hyuck, was going to pick you up from work and drop you off. you groaned and walked outside after saying your goodbyes to your crew mates.

“hurry up, donghyuck! it’s going to rain, i can hear the thunder,” you nagged while persistently looking around to spot his car. “okay, okay, i’m down the street. hold your horses.”

finally pulling into the parking lot, donghyuck stopped in front of you and you climbed into the back seat next to jaemin. he and you had exchanged phone numbers the previous night and it seemed like he was back to his affectionate self. he greeted you with a hug from the side and showed off his charming smile and pearly whites. you awkwardly hugged him back, not knowing you two were already in this stage of becoming friends again. jeno looked back through the mirror, he was jealous jaemin was working so fast and already making little progress.

“y/n… i forgot to tell you that we’re all staying the night,” hyuck mockingly laughed. “i already told your mom too. jangmi’s excited.” he finished with a teasing wink. oh brother, you mentally rolled your eyes, sighing into the leather seat.

“cheer up y/n! we can catch up..” jaemin’s sentence became less enthusiastic. you just slightly smiled and looked at him, “okay then.” and it was quiet for the rest of the ride.

opening the door, jangmi’s voice is heard from the opposite side yelling at your dad, “dad! y/n, hyuck, jaemin, and jeno are here!” the boys laughed and all took off their shoes before greeting your sister and father.

“pooh! mom’s at the grocery store right now. you’ll have to help her put away the stuff when she comes back,” he informed. you just nodded with a yes and told them to follow you up to your room. then it got you wondering. three boys sleeping over a girls house at the age of eighteen? curse lee donghyuck.

at around 6 p.m. or so, your mother comes through the door and asks for help to bring the groceries in while she’s greeting the three boys.

“hi boys. i’m glad you could stay the night here! and i’m happy you four are friends again.” your eyes shut from embarrassment and told your mom that there was one last gallon of water in the trunk.

after putting the food and whatnot away, you all walked back upstairs and it was silent for a good few moments. “uhm, we have some extra towels and i think i have some toothbrushes in my closet. you guys can just sleep on the inflatable bed, it’s all we have.” jaemin clicked his fingers. “duh, our stuff is in hyuck’s trunk. we packed everything y/n, don’t worry. i mean, besides the bed but you know what i mean.” you chuckled and nodded as they went back outside to get their belongings. however, jeno had asked them to bring up his bag and so it was just the two of you again.

you were playing with your fingers when he said, “...i’m happy you’re letting us in..” you looked up at him and shyly smiled. “it’s the least i could do. we used to be friends so…”

“yeah but i want to change that, y/n. i want us to be best friends again. remember ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart’?” his heart hurt and he was physically in pain. as much as you wanted to yell at him that this was all his fault, you didn’t have the guts to. because he’s back and he wants to be friends again.

the night ended with all of you huddled on your bed watching some thriller tv show that hyuck chose. though you weren’t paying attention at all. the four of you talked throughout the night and looked back on all the memories from middle school to freshman year.

“yeah, yeah! remember when we dared y/n to sit next to mark lee? that was gold! i still have those pictures on my phone!” exclaimed jeno while scrolling to the top of his photo album on his phone. your eyes were widened and your face flushed red, remembering the embarrassing moment.

“ugh stop. i didn’t even like mark lee like that,” you said, covering your face in the palms of your hand. mark lee was your senior at the time of that incident. you were fifteen and he was sixteen. your friends and mark all had the same lunch; but being the popular boy he was, mark lee was sitting with his other friends. they were recalling that you had a supposed crush on the boy and when they had the chance, forced you to sit next to him. it was all just humiliating sitting next to someone everyone thought you had a crush on. and you knew mark heard about those rumors going around.

“yeah okay, y/n. keep saying that,” hyuck smirked and rolled his eyes. jaemin was just laughing and having a good time listening to the conversations going on.

around midnight jangmi walked through your door and joined in on some of the joking the boys were doing. “get out jangmi! we’re talking about high school stuff, plus mom’s gonna be mad at you tomorrow,” you scolded, making her stick her tongue out and hug the older boys goodnight. brat.

you don’t remember when, but when you woke up the next morning, the only person who was sleeping was jeno. jaemin and hyuck were awoken an hour prior and they wanted to let the two of you rest since you were both notorious for going to sleep late and waking up late.

it was only ten in the morning but you pushed yourself out of bed to wash your face and brush your teeth. when you walked down the stairs, the aroma of food entered your senses and jaemin avidly greeted you.

“good morning y/n! we were about to wake you and jeno up but since you’re awake, go tell jeno food’s ready.” he turned you around to face the stairs. sighing, you walked up the stairs and back into your room.

carefully shaking jeno, you repeat, “wake up, food’s ready.” being the lazy bum he was, turned the other way then threw a pillow to your face.

“stop bothering me, monkey.” you were in a trace. monkey and bubba; that’s what you two called each other. you stared at his back, but somehow he felt more awake and sort of uncomfortable. shifting around, he turned to you and sat up.

“what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” he questioned, waving a hand in front of your face. he must have just blabbed that out while he was half conscious and wasn’t paying attention.

“.... eat. my mom, jaem, and hyuck made breakfast,” you mumbled and walked out the door and down the stairs. from then on he wondered what had gotten into you. but while he was getting ready he remembered what he had said. monkey, the nickname he gave you when you were both eleven. jeno then wondered what would happen if he continued to call you monkey. would you be all flustered? would you complain and yell at him? or would you call him bubba? he’d hope you’d call him bubba again. he missed your nicknames.

your friends and family all enjoyed breakfast together, and your mother was stoked to have the four of you back before leaving for college. instead of the three musketeers, it was the four musketeers. you, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin.

after breakfast, they left to run their errands or start their schedules for the day.

—

while monday started, you wondered if jaemin and jeno would talk to you. welp, only one way to find out.

driving your way to school, hyuck had texted you where you were.

i’m on my way, just wait omg sent, 7:28 a.m.

parking your car and walking towards the front lobby, the two boys pushed through the row of doors and rushed to you. jaemin, being much more comfortable, hugged you and hyuck joined soon after. jeno was a bit on the slower side, deciding to tone down his excitement.

“ayy look at this cool guy,” jaem turned around and teased jeno as he walked to you with his hands in the pockets of his sweater. the boy just smirked and shook his head.

“morning monkey.” you tensed again, then turned pink since the energetic boys stood confused. “monkey? is that what we’re calling y/n now? because i’m totally up for it!” exclaimed hyuck.

your eyes widened and shouted, “no! you guys are not going to call me monkey. that was just a nickname he used to call me.”

jaemin spoke up, “really? since when? how come we’ve never heard this ‘monkey’ come out of jeno’s lips until right in this moment?” you glared at jeno and responded, “it was just a thing between the two of us. besides, you know i have nicknames for both of you, too.” the two boys just rolled their eyes as jeno smiled and cheered in some sort of victory. you stuck out your tongue and caught up with the salty boys who were a couple feet ahead.

but during the walk to first period, in which mrs. choi wasn’t there again, the trio was greeted by everyone as they looked at you, questioning to themselves why you were hanging out with jeno and jaemin. some even forgot the four of you were a thing, and some just didn’t know.

“woah, y/n hanging with them? nana and jen?!”

“i thought they stopped being friends…?”

“damn. i haven’t seen ‘em together since sophomore year.”

and other variations were heard throughout the halls as you, hyuck, and jeno went to drop off jaemin in mrs. moon’s room before walking to mr. park’s.

right when you three walked through the doors, mr. park playfully sighed and gave you and hyuck a look. then looking at the students whispering and already starting to gossip. oh great.

while loosely paying attention to the teachers lesson, you looked around the room, hyuck doing his work and occasionally looking up, some students— of which were mostly female— looking between you and jeno, and jeno, continuously peering over to you. when you met eye contact, he was quick enough to look away and act as if he was taking notes. was jeno really starting to like you? again?

he would probably never admit it but during eighth and ninth grade years, jeno developed the tiniest, and by tiniest he really had the biggest, crush on you. of course, you never knew, only seeing him as family and one of your bestest and closest friends. but it was all in the past and he kind of figured you never really liked him like that anyway.

you diverted your attention back to the laptop screen and started doing some more research for your language class. but as the seconds ticked by, jeno started to glance at you more and more, especially since he knew you were no longer paying attention to his class.

before you knew it, first class was over and you and hyuck sat at your seats in the same room. jeno just stayed in his seat but tapped the desk to the right of him to signify for you to sit there. sort of uncomfortably, you plopped yourself onto the desk and took out whatever you needed for his class. him and hyuck talked, as usual, but jeno made sure to include you since you were now both on speaking terms.

small smiles and shy laughter. it’s always been who you were, it’s always been one of the reasons why jeno fell for you. the whole school scene was just always too overwhelming for you, much rather being on the quieter side. it probably never seemed like it back in middle school but you were always way too much of a nervous wreck to actually do something bad. you were all bark and no bite.

so when class started, and students started to fill the desks one by one. kyong, a well-known— but basic— popular classmate came walking into the room, planning to sit in her seat, which was next to jeno, whom she subtly liked. but seeing you sit there all of a sudden startled her.

“hi, y/n,” she smiled with flames burning in her eyes. “uh that’s my seat, i’m sorry.”

you looked her in the eyes and apologized, getting ready to pack your things to sit next to hyuck until jeno stopped you from doing so and said, “there’s no assigned seats kyong. just go sit next to…. jihoon,” he pointed across the room. her eyes twitched slightly before smiling again and walking to sit next to the knocked out boy.

throughout the class, jeno and hyuck proceeded with their joking around until mr. park had enough and turned around. giving them the ‘you are a senior in high school’ speech. but to be fair, they were being a biiiit immature.

directly after the bell rang, you went straight to mr. yang’s lab class and sat next to sooyoung, after you said goodbye to jeno and hyuck. immediately explaining your weekend out to her.

“i’m sorry he WHAT?”she whisper-shouted hoping mr. yang wouldn’t hear. unfortunately he did and shushed her before moving onto the next part of the lesson he was teaching. you just made a face and nodded before returning back to your notes, sooyoung still in astonishment.

when ms. jung’s class arrived— which was after mrs. lim’s— you sat right where you had been sitting. but before you walked past him like he wasn’t there, jeno greeted you with a smile. thankfully, you did return it and got yourself situated for that class.

—

once your classes were over, you walked to your car and started the engine before jeno called you on your phone. confused, you picked up.

“hello? why are you calling me?” it sounded a bit rude but you didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“i just wanted to ask if you left yet. you just speeded out the room and i kinda…. sorta…. need a ride,” he elongated the last part of his sentence. you sighed and replied, “can’t you drive? i know you took your drivers permit. and i know you have a license.”

“my car’s in the shop, getting the tires fixed. hyuck picked me up,” he laughed.

“then didn’t you leave with him?”

“that ass left before i had the chance. please, y/n?” he whined and you could practically hear his pout. roughly, you sighed and breathed out ‘fine.’ it seemed like ever since you were nice to each other again, the little prick had been taking advantage of you. but that wasn’t jeno, right?

just as he shut the passenger seat door, you said that you had to pick up jangmi before dropping him off.

“i’m cool with that. besides, jangmi loves me,” he bragged. you just snorted and rolled your eyes before driving off to her school

when you arrived at her middle school, she peered through the passenger window and straight away, a smile was placed on her lips. she opened the door, “jeno! you’re coming home with us today? where’s aunty?” he just laughed and turned his head to her before answering.

“no. y/n is just dropping me off today, and maybe the rest of this week,” his sentence trailed off as he looked at you, only for you to look back and scowl at him.

“maybe tomorrow. if y/n allows me,” the damn teasing tone in his voice. jangmi looked at you with hopeful eyes through the mirror.

“what? it’s not my house. plus jeno’s probably gonna make me not take him home after school anyways.” you were quite annoyed with the duo. as much as you love them, they were a pain in the ass.

dropping jeno off jangmi asked, “what happened between you two?” you just laughed and responded with a little shake of your head, leaving her confused and complaining that you were a bad sister and a bad friend.

“i am not! you’re just too young,” you teased her again since the age difference between her and you was significant. more so, significant enough.

—

graduation day. thursday, june 14th. the day you would remember forever.

it was the morning of senior graduation. nothing much was going on, just the hectic scene of constant practices and nervousness.

“i cannot believe we’re graduating high school together! first middle school and now this!” clapped jaemin with his cheery smile. all four of you were glad to be together in that moment at that time, together. after the feud, your relationship had been stronger than ever and you were all glad.

your parents had come together the couple previous days in order to plan your surprise graduation party for the four of you. it was to be held at your house, as your mom insisted to your dad, so when you all got home, your friends and families would be there.

prior to you leaving the school auditorium, your parents had treated you to some ice cream money before ushering the four of you to go out and have some celebratory treats so they could prepare the little party.

when you reached your house, it was eerily quiet. their parents had parked a couple streets down to hide the fact that they were all a part of the surprise party. so after you walked through the door, all your friends and family popped out of their hiding places and yelled ‘congratulations!’

every since you and jeno got close again, he started to realize his feelings had been coming back. and this time they came by and hit him like a whole truck. once he knew about the party— because of his loudmouth parents— he knew it then. jeno was going to confess.

but he was scared; as he should be. he was scared to lose the friendship he just gained back, but he was also scared of losing the relationship with jaemin and donghyuck. but it was worth a shot. it was all or nothing. besides, there was a chance your feelings could be reciprocated, right?

so while the sun was setting and the bonfire was getting started, jeno was seated next to you at the swings with no one to bother you. he made sure to tell his plan to hyuck and jaem— and also your beloved family— so they wouldn’t mess it up. but when jeno found the courage to speak up, the bundle of nerves distracted his thought process and he was spitting out stutters.

“hey, bubba. you okay?” your face showed concern which did not help the situation he was in.

“yeah, i’m okay,” he was upset at himself for not having the balls to confess to his first love. will he have enough courage to confess later? only time will figure it out.

looking off to your family, jeno was having a mid-war crisis in his mind. beating himself up for being so quiet all of a sudden. but while the silence followed between you and jeno, you had been having a hell-of-a-ton of questions and statements in your mind as well.

why couldn’t you confess to him already?

man up. it’s just jeno. no matter what happens you two will always stay friends. at least that’s what you hoped.

as the amount of misquotes grew larger, and the purples and pink in the sky turned blue, jaemin and hyuck had gone to the closest supermarket to pick up some s’mores for everyone to enjoy. gathering around the campfire, everyone made their own marshmallow goodness and joked the night away. until the swarming mosquitoes started to bite everyone.

and while the crickets were heard, everyone was in the living room playing your family time games with a twist. but you ended the night with a movie— or two. so as you were busy making the popcorn, your friends and families all crowded jeno and asked if he had confessed yet. awkwardly, jeno declined and admitted that he hadn’t said a word about his feelings to you. your parents had then ushered him to say a little something about his feelings toward you.

mustering up whatever sort of bravery he had, jeno trotted his way to the kitchen where you were preparing the last batch of popcorn for everyone. he leaned his figure to the wall, admiring you for a moment before softly clearing his throat to catch your attention.

just go up to her, dammit. jeno repeated in his head.

“uh— you know, monkey. i uh— we should— i kinda wanna go to the mall and— no we should go to that new seafood restaurant— no no, scratch that…. but can we-” you interrupted his cute rambling before resting your hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“i got the message jen,” you laughed. “of course i’d go out with you this weekend.” by the time he walked back to the living room, he was a ball of goo and all eyes were on him; especially your family. just by the look of his face when he came back, they all knew what you had said, and it was affirmative.

—

your first date that next weekend went by perfectly. jeno had ended up taking you to an aquarium and dinner for the evening and it was the best date you’ve ever had. really, it was the only meaningful date but best, nonetheless.

appreciatively, the date you and jeno and went on was not awkward at all. it was just as if you two were just hanging out as friends, but of course, better.

you were just joking along with each other and recalling smaller, more precious memories between the two of you before the conversation got a little more serious.

“i got accepted into yonsei university!” he exclaimed, not knowing you had also applied to the university and got accepted a few days prior.

“congratulations bubba! i got accepted too!” he cheered at you and gripped your hand in affirmation and proudness.

now you knew. maybe you two were truly meant to be.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

a brand new start.

august 29th. first day of the new semester of a new year, a whole mouthful.

the major you had chosen for your path at yonsei was interior architecture. jeno was majoring in computer software and media applications.

luckily, you and jeno had classes about the same times on the same days so you each had time to briefly see each other on campus or meet up while you’re both free. it was a little hard to adapt at first, but you two were champs and still even had time to meet up with hyuck and even sooyoung— who both went to hanyang university— and jaemin— who attended hongik university.

“monkey!” yelled jeno who was about ten feet in front of you. your class had just ended and you were just walking around the entrance of jeno’s building, waiting for him.

“sorry i was late. professor oh kept us back,” he scratched the back of his head. only for you to shake your head and give him a ‘no worries’ smile. it was a thursday and you and jeno had some sports meetings right after class. once again, with the same schedule. it wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. but there were times where you wished you never hung out so much. even so, you loved jeno— in fact, you were the first to pull the ‘i love you’ card a few weeks back.

walking to the campus gymnasium, the both of you get changed into athleisure attire and separated ways, jeno to the field and you just a couple of walks to the gymnasium. you had been playing volleyball to stay fit and to find a hobby while living the college life. jeno, to much surprise, continued to pursue football during his college years, so as to stay fit and to keep his passion of playing football alive.

“i’ll see you later, monkey. we have community service later, yeah?” he asked while greeting some of his teammates. you nodded and waved to your girls before jeno smiled lovingly at you and held your chin in his hand to peck your lips. teasingly, he winked and walked to where the boys went out. shaking your head at him playfully, you walked into the gym to start with some stretches and warmups.

apparently you were the best woman on the volleyball team so the girls immediately nominated you as team captain. discussing about the plans your coach had given you prior, the girls stopped chatting and got straight to practice. chanmi was one of your peers on the team who was seemingly jealous of you; of which you did not know she was, but it was better for her to know rather than for you. you had just thought that she didn’t like you, like, at all.

“ugh i don’t understand why y/n is team captain. it’s not fair,” she complained to her friend one morning. you were on an early coffee run for you and jeno when you heard her familiar ringing voice. following them from a distance, chanmi just continued to talk bad about you which made you sad realizing that she didn’t like you.

“plus she gets lee jeno. i heard he’s the best on the football team,” she whined again, “and he’s the hottest, no doubt.” her friend agreed before gushing over your boyfriend when he appeared behind you, covering your eyes and making you guess who. rolling your eyes you turned around and gave him his drink before walking to class together. the two of you had literature together— with chanmi— and it seemed she hated you even more, especially after you walked in the room with jeno’s hand around your waist, standing impossibly closer to you. but it wasn’t your fault his hand was there anyways.

ever since that day, all you received from her was snarky remarks and burning glares. and she almost never complied to you or your requests which was why the coach was having thoughts about kicking her off the team.

when your volleyball practice was over, you quickly refreshed yourself and gathered your things to walk to the football field to watch jeno finish his practice.

sitting on the bleachers, however, was chanmi— who coincidentally was jaemin’s cousin— and her little friend vigorously cheering for the boys. about five minutes passed before jeno walked to you and downing his water, saying that today’s practice was going to be a little longer than usual so you both might be late to the tutor sessions you planned to help some of the younger kids.

“it’s okay, bub. i’ll just stay here and go over some notes. i have an exam tomorrow,” you explained and looked up at him with squinted eyes. he looked around before looking back at you, catching chanmi’s attention before saying, “okay. don’t overwork that brain of yours,” he laughed as he skittishly poked your head.

“also, do you have an extra water bottle? i need it desperately, coach is working us extra hard today for some reason.” you nodded and fished out your metal water bottle to give to him. “thanks, monkey,” he kissed your temple and returned to the field where everyone was waiting.

enviously, chanmi watched the scene with her eyes and she felt as though she wanted to barf; oh how desperately she wanted to be in your place, though. it seemed as if you and jeno had the perfect relationship. of course there were the doubts but you and jeno managed to pull through and you’re as strong as ever. in which chanmi daydreamed about her perfect relationship, somehow throwing jeno into the mix. “the perfect man,” as she called him.

during the beginning of the year, when chanmi first found out about her fellow peers, some more than most, she was instantly interested in you and jeno. the constant questions of ‘are they friends?’ or ‘are they actually a couple?’ flowed throughout your classmates' mouths and you and jeno had proven to them that you were in a relationship, and very serious about it.

she sat closer to where you were sitting near the front of the bleachers.

“hi, captain!” she said enthusiastically. you were puzzled as to why she was talking to you out of the blue after the constant bashes of attitude. she was, what nineteen, the least she could do was act more mature, right? genuinely, you smiled and greeted her before striking a small conversation.

“chanmi! where’s your friend?” you asked and turned to meet her figure. toxically, she smiled and pointed in the direction of her previous seat. you’d been talking for a few minutes when the blow of a whistle stops her mid-sentence. hearing the shouting of the football coach, her pulse accelerated as she saw jeno coming closer and closer. with hopeful eyes, she hears nothing of your next words as she is solely paying attention to lee jeno.

almost movie-like, her vision slows as she drools over the boy who is running to where you two were seated.

“hey monkey!” he cheerily said before sitting to your right to collect his things to put back in his bag. “.... chanmi..”

she dreamily sighed and waved jeno a hi, but her daze came to a stop when she saw him caress your cheek with his hand and sweetly smiling at you. evidently, chanmi had completely focused her attention on jeno as she had stars in her eyes. subconsciously feeling a stare, jeno looked to where chanmi was and of course, she was already looking at him with star struck eyes. but obviously, her gazing made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. she looked at him like how you looked at him; pure love and ecstasy. he scoffed to himself and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the girl.

“hey, hey! what was that all about,” you whined as he continued to pull you to the parking lot where his car was parked. throwing his bag in the backseat, jeno’s grip was still just as firm, preventing you from climbing into the passenger side. just as you were about to protest again, he turned around, wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his head in your neck, taking in your natural scent while nuzzling his nose against your collarbone. in disarray, you enveloped your arms around jeno’s neck and played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“what’s wrong, bub?” you softly said as he then lifted his head from your neck and gently rubbed his nose against yours. he shook his head and continued to hold you in his embrace. but jeno was a horrible liar, and you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.

you both never ended up going to that tutoring session for the community service opportunity. jeno had been consistently whining on how he wanted to just lay in bed with you and rest for the weekend. and you simply couldn’t refuse his cute ass.

before you could do anything else, jeno pushed through the front door of your apartment and made you lay on the couch for him to rest on you. his body stuck like a koala against yours as his head laid on your chest and his arms were once again enclosed around you.

his behavior was off the roof that day and you were perplexed by his actions. something was off with him.

and you were right; something was off with him. na chanmi was jaemin’s distant cousin— maybe third or fourth— but ever since he met na chanmi, which was almost two years prior, she appeared to be utterly in love with jeno, barely even knowing who he was. providentially, he never really saw chanmi around long enough for him to catch feelings for her, but she was always so damn sure she attracted jeno in some type of way.

chanmi had this sense of weary aura around her presence and it always made jeno feel twitchy when it came to her which was why he acted like that.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was finally senior year of university. fortunately, after everything you and jeno have been through, your relationship was healthy, and there wasn’t much more you could ask for. you even ended up moving in together in the same apartment during your junior year. everything was going to be perfect.

yeah, that’s what you both thought.

—

“where were you, y/n?” jeno asked right when he heard the front door open.

it was a friday night and you were out with sooyoung and a couple other friends to study and hang out at a local diner. you didn’t text jeno where you were but to be fair, you did try calling him three times before giving up and enjoying lost time with your friends for the night. unluckily for you, jeno had flooded you with nonstop phone calls almost ten minutes after you stopped trying to reach out and tell him what you were doing for the night. time really does fly by.

“i’ve been calling you for the past hour and you haven’t responded to me once. where the hell were you?” you knew he tried to remain calm and mature but you’ve known jeno long enough to know that he was enraged; the glint of anger reflected in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble.

the relationship you’ve had the past couple of months were not the greatest. these were one of the occasions that balls of fire were thrown at each other. accusations and yelling one after another only to make up the next morning.

but something just wasn’t sitting right that night with jeno.

“where were you and who were you with?” he stated again, hands rested on his hips. you sighed, trying to calm down the situation.

“i was with sooyoung and mark tonight.”

“then why didn’t you reply to my calls?” he was really starting to get mad.

“i called you thrice but gave up since you didn’t answer,” you said while walking to your shared bedroom to get ready to shower.

“that doesn’t explain why you didn’t pick up!” he bursted out. and to be honest, you don’t think you’ve seen or heard jeno this mad at you before. something in you just clicked.

you scoffed to yourself and rolled your eyes, “you need to chill! i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t know why you’re making me the bad guy! we were just hanging out.” but it was too late. jeno was furious, for maybe no reason. or maybe he did have a reason.

though you denied liking mark lee back in middle school and the beginning of high school, jeno was the only person you told about your little crush on the boy. mark lee was the sweetest person ever; caring, thoughtful, and cute. who didn’t have a crush on him?

little did you know, jeno always felt jealous whenever you gushed about the boy. and maybe that was what was going through his mind right now.

but nothing happened, sooyoung and mark were close friends and she offered for you to hang out with them, of course you had to accept their request. you missed them.

however jeno just dashed out of the room, throwing his phone to the ground making the loudest noise. you really fucked up. but you didn’t, jeno was in the wrong, so you tried to convince yourself. but you were too nice to admit that it was entirely his fault. because you still loved him dearly, though the months have been going downhill. you just shook your head and showered.

we’ll be okay in the morning. or so you hoped.

when you got out of the shower, you were wrapped in your towel when you saw jeno sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. he was fuming mad at this point and wanted you to leave.

“you need to leave,” he blatantly said without looking your way. the sound of your bare feet padding the floor stopped. you were speechless. this was the first time he’s kicked you out. but you paid half the rent so you said no.

“it’s not a question, y/n. i need you to get out, we need time off.” you were taken aback by his words. what a dickhead.

“uhm, i don’t know if you’re aware of this but i pay half the rent and half of these damn bills, there’s no way i’m getting out of this house. if anything you should leave…. at least stay in the guest bedroom,” you added. when jeno looked up and finally met your soft brown eyes, the only thing you could see in his was pure anger. it made you hiccup a sob.

staring at him for what seemed like forever, you blink away the tears that accumulated in your eyes and packed everything you could.

“lee jeno you will never be a real man. you’re still the pussy i knew you were,” you dryly laughed and slammed the front door as hard as you could. you stuffed all your shit into your car and called your mom.

“we broke up.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

by the time you reached your parents house, you called sooyoung and haechan, informing them about the dramatic scene that happened just moments ago.

you didn’t even know how long but when you reached your parents house it was almost one in the morning. thankfully, your mother was still awake, concerned for her crying child.

knocking on the wood door, it opened immediately and your mother embraced you in her welcoming hug that felt like home.

you weren’t able to sleep that night. thinking about your relationship with lee jeno. from when you two were in diapers to when he stopped being friends with you to getting into the relationship to now. it was all a roller coaster that you did not want to go on anymore.

it was funny, your mother tucked you in your bed that night, telling you to just rest and try your hardest to not think of him.

rising against your bed that following morning, you looked like a train wreck. puffy eyes, swollen face, chapped lips. and it’s about at nine in the morning when you get a facetime call. deep inside you wished it was jeno apologising to you but it was just hyuck and jaem.

looking at you, the boys show so much sympathy and sadness through their faces, having almost similar expressions.

“y/n, we’ll pick you up today then, yeah? we can go in jaemin’s car and we’ll pick up sooyoung and mark too, okay?” says donghyuck once he heard a sob escape your lips. you nod, nonetheless, ending the phone call and getting ready to look presentable to the public.

—

luckily for you, the two boys pick up the rest of your things from jeno’s before coming to get you and the rest of their friends.

they help you put your things away in your room and hug you with so much love. in that moment, you were have to have friends like them.

“let’s go get sooyoung and mark. i wanna go to the amusement park.” they obliged to your request and the three of you walked out of your house after bidding your parents goodbye. everyone in your family was concerned about your well-being but you said you were fine and going to heal yourself with your friends.

when mark and sooyoung are in the car, the pair immediately hug you as tight as they could while sooyoung cursed at lee jeno for breaking your heart once more.

“i swear i will kick his ass. i don’t care how strong he is, bitch i will kick his ass all the way to fucking jupiter,” you laughed at sooyoung, she seemed more upset at your breakup than you were. but everyone laughed and agreed that they would all tag team and best jeno’s ass so hard that he can’t even remember your name.

the day was spent better than you had thought, you five stayed on the bay walk until dusk. then you went out to get some korean barbecue and ice cream, all their treats to make you feel better about yourself.

your friends and family really helped you get over your relationship with jeno. however, of course your mothers continued to talk and gossip about your relationship.

“they’re really doing this again? jeno didn’t even tell me yet. i’ll make sure he gets his ass beat by both me and minjung,” his mother says while on speaker, courtesy of your mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. she hummed and spotted you hiding behind the wall. you’d been listening to their conversation the second your mother called out mrs. lee’s name.

noticing your mother stare, you whined at her, “mom can you at least be a little more discreet when you’re talking about us?”

“we just wanted to catch up. you know, mrs. lee hasn’t seen jeno since your breakup— didn’t even know you two broke up.” you pursed your lips into a straight line before sitting on a stool. “don’t you think you guys will ever make up again? it’s happened once after constant pushing.”

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, taking a bit out of an apple from the fruit bowl.

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

but just then, you heard jeno’s baritone voice through the speaker of your mothers phone.

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated—” but before you could hear anything else the jackass had to say, you mother hung up.

you sighed out of annoyance and walked to jangmi’s room. she was supposed to start her new job today.

“jangmi, are you ready? i need to work soon too,” you shouted through her door while listening to her rummaging through her room before opening the door.

“yeah i’m ready. let’s go,” she took your hand and dragged you down the stairs. saying bye to your mother she slipped on her shoes and walked out the doors, waiting by the passenger side of your car.

jangmi got a job at some aesthetically pleasing library in town and she was excited to get the job.

you stopped and parked the car before she opened the car door. however you stopped her before she could even set one foot out.

at this point, you and jeno had been broken up for three months. but seeing jeno with chanmi— who is laughing and hitting his arm playfully— your heart breaks more, albeit holding jangmi’s arm a little too tightly. once she looked in the direction of your face, she immediately knew you had a reason.

“y/n, you’re hurting me,” her voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and you apologized and asked her if jeno and chanmi go into the library. it seemed like they were going inside. she shot an ‘okay’ sign and finally got out of the car.

if jeno was being honest, he got over your break up fairly quickly and got back into the dating jazz almost two months after. well, more like he got heavily intoxicated with alcohol and had a one night stand with chanmi. he didn’t know how or why, neither does he know now.

you drove away to an empty parking lot and frantically fish out your phone in your pocket to dial jaemin.

“nana… is chanmi and jeno, like… a thing?” jaemin found out that they were seeing each other— whether romantically or not— about two weeks prior, but he didn’t have the heart to break it to you.

the boy sighed through the phone and admitted that they have been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. but he made sure to quickly say that he just found out and didn’t know how to break the news to you. because as fine as you claimed you were, jaemin knows you more than anything, and he knows you’re still affected.

“it’s okay jaem. we can see other people, it’ll be fine,” you reassured him as you heard the worry in his voice. but even through your voice, he knew you still weren’t okay, so he drove to your house after you ended the call.

you just wanted to sit alone in your bedroom binging horrifically bad tv shows while eating to your heart's content.

but a knock on your door prevented you from doing anything you planned for the rest of spring vacation. because those thoughts filled you through the three months prior.

it was your four bestest friends, and you would trade anything to be with them; even jeno.

they didn’t end up leaving until three in the morning. making sure you were fine and didn’t have a worry about lee jeno. and it helped, for the most part.

—

when returning to campus, you immediately sensed jeno and directed your gaze to something else. however, jeno had a few things up his sleeve and wrapped his large hand around your wrist. you struggled for a moment and threatened to shout out ‘stranger danger’ though it was more immature than you thought it was so you opted to not say anything.

he roughly pushed you against a hidden wall and shoved his face in the junction of your neck and shoulders. tears.

this might’ve been your second or third time watching, experiencing jeno cry actual tears. whether in sadness or frustration. you tried to pry him off of you.

“jen, i have class. what are you doing?” you struggled in his strong grip around your waist. jeno was crying up a storm but was still glad to hear a nickname of his come out of your mouth.

after moments of seeming hours, the man slowly lifted his head from your now wet neck. you stared in his eyes and you never saw the look of pure pain in his eyes. slowly, jeno rubbed his strong nose against yours, leaning your foreheads against each other. he then released his secure grip from your torso and gently cupped your face, his fingers ever-so-softly wiping the tears you didn’t even know escaped your eyes.

that moment was all a blur and neither of you attended your classes that day.

now here you were, sitting across him, across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. the apartment still looked the same as when you left, besides the unclean dishes piling in the sink and crooked frames. from that previous scene to now, not a single chirp leaves your mouths. it was dead silent. until he rubs his tired face, jeno is the first to speak up.

“monkey… bubba,” he started, unable to look at you in your eyes, scared to look at your reaction as he planned out his next words carefully. but at this point you figured you knew what he was going to say. because like you said before, jeno is not a man. though he may look and feel like one, he never will be if he keeps up his immature behavior. mentally, lee jeno is not a man, at least not in your eyes. and maybe he never will be, but you’re one to know.

your eyes were emotionless and cold as you looked at his bowed head. the intensity of the room was rising by the minute as he paused on his words.

it seems as though now, jeno is broken. as broken as you were when you broke up. it’s what he deserves. you don’t feel a thing as he continued to shed his tears quietly. but one look and it’s done for.

you don’t know when and you don’t know how, but you ended up on the couch with his puffy face lying on your chest. hesitantly, the pads of your fingers traced his sculpted face as he rests after his crying session.

but why were you doing this? he’s a jackass

hm, he may be a complete asshat but he’s still your best friend over everything. so you push aside all your thoughts and only think about your middle school relationship.

‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.’

you don’t know whether it’s your best friend jeno calling you or your boyfriend jeno calling you, but you hope it was best friend jeno. because it was a way simpler time then and he was always there when you needed him most.

carefully, you lifted your body and looked at the blaring red digital clock sitting on the desk. it was seven in the evening and you had to return home. well, pick up your car from the parking lot and then go home.

feeling you moving, jeno held you closer, squishing his cheek against your décolletage. as much as you did not want to see him, jeno was still as cute as ever. if he wanted to try again, maybe you’d consider.

to hell, you are not going to consider it. you need to go home.

“jen… jen…” you whispered, shaking his body as he maneuvered his head so his nose is tickling your neck. you actually debated on slapping the shit out of him to wake him up. it’s what he deserves. so you do. not too hard but enough to wake him up and hold his left cheek.

“ow!” he whined and rubbed his eyes. what a child.

“jen i need to go home.” only causing him to pout and holding you close to refuse you to leave.

“we’re done, jen. i need to go, i have stuff to do. plus we missed class today.” he whined even more.

“stay with me. we’ll go to class tomorrow,” he mumbled through your neck. but now you were starting to get aggravated.

“lee jeno. this is absurd! you want to constantly make accusations of me cheating with mark, break up with me, and now you want me to stay? all this in four and a half months? you must be out of your goddamn mind. there’s no way in hell i’m going to stay here tonight. we can be friends, yeah, because we’ve known each other our entire lives. but if you think i’m going to get back with you, especially now, you’re fucking crazy,” you breached with tears of frustration in your eyes, “plus i thought you and chanmi were a thing. i saw you two a few weeks ago when i dropped off jangmi at work.”

but the man— or boy— stayed silent. the only noise of the passing cars filling it. tension was high as jeno looked at you with the most lost puppy eyes. but he agreed with you in his mind, he was a little immature. okay, he had to admit that he was very immature, and still is. maybe he just doesn’t know how to work relationships.

no more than three moments later he opened his mouth, only for you to talk again. but in a more calmed voice, “listen, just take me home. i don’t wanna be here right now.” you felt suffocated by the apartment you used to call home. you felt suffocated by the person, you used to call home. but right now you couldn’t make up complete thoughts. it was too overbearing and all you wanted to do was shower and sleep.

without a word, jeno rubbed his eyes and picked up his keys, signaling you to go outside. you released your temper and walked out a minute after he did and got into his car. it was his fault he would not let you go.

he dropped you off with zero words spoken on the twelve minute drive to your parents house. quickly, you muttered a ‘thank you’ and dashed out of his car and to your front door, breathing out whatever breath you were holding.

jeno made sure to leave once he knew you were inside safe. and once you opened the door, questions bombarded you.

‘where were you?’

‘who was that?’

‘why are you home so late?’

but you just shook your head and told your family that you were tired and wanted to shower and rest. leaving you alone was the least they could do.

the hot water was hitting your skin as you stood there, thinking about him. what was going on with him? why is he acting like that all of a sudden? you don’t know. but all you knew was that you needed some time away. to think and to compose yourself.

—

your dad dropped you off at university that morning. the questions that were unanswered that previous night were still left hanging from his mouth. yet you still didn’t answer the questions, you couldn’t.

thanking and saying goodbye to your dad, you got out of his car to walk into yours to mentally prepare yourself for the day. there was still about thirty minutes before your first class and you wanted to use that time to think about possible scenarios that could happen. you just hoped they don’t ever happen.

continuously, you rubbed your face as you fidgeted in your seat and stared out onto campus. taking deep breaths, you finally walked out of the car and made sure to lock it. walking to the literature building, you spotted jeno with a couple of his football friends on the courtyard. and before you met contact, you whipped your head into the direction of the literature building.

jeno sighed to himself and knew he fucked up. big time.

instead of going up to you, he thought to himself that he should leave you alone. he was being bipolar and he didn’t want to overwhelm you and your feelings even more. as much as he was suffering alone, he would stay away from you, but observe you carefully.

you actually had a volleyball game later that day— the last game of the season— and chanmi had asked him if she would watch her. without hesitating, jeno agreed to come but mostly just to see you, but he’d obviously keep that to himself. so once your classes were over, you walked to the gymnasium and into the girls locker room to change. by the time you exited the locker room, people filled the side bleachers and watched the girls (both from your team and the opponents) practice bumping the ball to each other. the opposing team was on the opposite side of the gym to practice while you were on the other. unluckily, your team was practicing on the opening side of the gymnasium and that was when you caught a glimpse of jeno. you looked at him for a brief moment and almost missed a teammates bump when chanmi had run up to greet the guy.

some of his football teammates were actually already sitting on the front of the bleachers and admiring the girls that were hitting the ball with their spandex shorts. jeno hugged chanmi because even when he said they weren’t close, they had gotten closer over the five months after your breakup. but your attention was then reverted to your friends. jaemin, hyuck, mark, and sooyoung had come to cheer on your team for moral support. since jeno wasn’t there to be by your side anymore.

“y/n, you can do this. we know you can! and even if you guys don’t end up making it, this is all for fun and we’ll treat you out for ice cream tonight. all on us. good luck!”

soon the referee blew the whistle indicating the five minute mark. there were five minutes before the final game of the season, and the final game of volleyball you’d ever play for your university. the last game was a home game so you were the first to actually serve the ball. as close as it was, the ball was bumped by a girl of the away team and the game actually started.

time was ticking, and there were only ten minutes left before halftime and the third set of the game. so far, your team was up by eight points. six. four. the bell of halftime filled the gym as the girls on each of the teams walked to their respective sides to have a team talk and rest.

“come on ladies, this is the last game. we’re ahead by four points. we can make it through the last set and win this tournament. it’s the last game of the season, good luck!” encouraged your coach as the rest of the girls discussed who was going to the field first.

“y/n, lia, chanmi, kana, areum, and sohee— you girls are up first. y/n is serving again.”

so far, your team had one the first two sets, and the pressure was up for the last set. you needed to win this. you did not care if this was for a hobby of yours. some of those girls were not so nice while you walked to the gym, giving you the side eye. you just felt like you had to win this game. not for your teammates nor for your friends. not even for jeno. but more for yourself and your pride.

three minutes were on the clock and they were up by two points and you just needed to get at least four points ahead to win the game. you never faltered your serves that set, no one else served besides you and when it was time to switch members, your coach always needed you in. you were bouncing the ball on the floor, getting ready to serve as best as you could. throwing the ball in the air, you swung your arms and for sure, the ball was hit over the net. game start.

the whistle was blown, two points given to your team. the scores were tied now and all you needed to do was gain at least two more points to win. the ball dribbled on the floor in front of you and you then served the ball, hitting it with all the strategies you accumulated throughout the years. the girls immediately missed the ball and the score was down to you again. there were now forty seconds left, as you served the ball again and the girls missed the ball. the pressure was all on them and they couldn’t get over the fact that they were losing.

“we won!” screamed your teammates as you rested yourself on your knees, taking deep breaths. your four friends ran up to you worried and helped you sit down to rest.

“y/n, you were working yourself too much during the last game. why did you not go back? you could’ve watched,” said sooyoung while she was rubbing your back. jaemin was giving you water and rubbing the sides of your arm while mark was massaging your shoulder and hyuck was sitting by your legs.

“take it easy for now. you bid the opposite team good game,” hyuck rubbed your thigh. you sighed and got out of the seat you were in to meet up with your teammates. you all stand in a line and high-fived the opposing team before you got your bag and sat back down with your friends.

“let’s go get ice cream now,” you tiredly said and slumped the strap over your shoulder.

“uhm, before we go… i dropped off chanmi here so she might need to go with us,” jaemin scratched the nape of his neck. you all shook your heads in a ‘no problem’ and he walked up to his cousin to tell her his plans for the rest of the day.

“oh it’s okay jaem. i was going to ride with jeno, is it okay if we came along?” she asked while looking behind her to see his muscular figure talking to a few of his friends. jaemin kept his composure, though, and did the mature thing. he just accepted her request and walked back to his group of friends to tell them about the situation.

when he did, all eyes were on you with worry in your eyes. by this time, you were feeling a lot better than what you were feeling before and laughed at them.

“guys, i’ll be fine. we’re not together anymore, he can do whatever he wants.” though deep inside, you were really going to shit your pants because of the circumstances that happened the day prior. but it was better for them not to know, at least not yet.

in your car seated sooyoung and hyuck. you were on your way to a regular ice cream parlor which a friend worked at.

“renjun!” shouted you, jaemin and hyuck. renjun worked at this ice cream parlor for a while, you got to know him by coming here on the regular, especially during nights when you were stressed over exams or when you and jeno were having problems. therefore the guy was actually a pretty good friend of yours. renjun was a transferee at hyuck and jaemin’s university, they got to know each other then. they developed a pretty good relationship with each other too, you could tell with the way they conversed with each other.

you were laughing and joking around with renjun and your shared friends as you sat on the matching chairs of the countertop. the red reflecting in jeno’s eyes as he watched you joke with your friends and completely ignoring him and chanmi who were seated at a booth not far from where the group was. but he decided to keep quiet and try to pay attention to chanmi, she was just trying to have a good time and he didn’t blame her. but he just couldn’t help but to keep looking back at his old group of friends that all got along so well.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was now the last football game of the season; thursday 6 p.m. jaemin and hyuck had begged you to go after you constantly refusing and excusing that you had ‘fuckton of homework.’ they both came to your house and rang the doorbell anyways, forcing you to get ready and dragging you to the car.

“come on, jeno still talks about you. The both of you are still friends, no?” questioned jaemin. it took you a while to answer him but you guessed that was what you could call yours and jeno’s relationship as of now.

the three of you arrived on the field and sat on the bleachers right above jeno’s team. just fucking great, you rolled your eyes and mentally punched both jaemin and hyuck where they did not want to be punched. with burning eyes, you glared at your friends and wished to get away from that situation. you sat fidgeting on the metal seats and looked down. there were still a few minutes before the big game and you saw chanmi hug jeno before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck. the boys then looked to you— who was sitting in between them— and asked if you were okay.

“i’m definitely okay. i’m so okay… listen, i don’t know why you guys are so caught up between jneo and i. it’s our relationship and if he moved on then good for him,” the sarcasm was dripping from your voice. but they picked up on the bitter tone that dripped out of your lips.

you focused back on the field. and you don’t know whether it was the chilly wind or your feelings overcoming you, but there were tears in your eyes almost the entire game. not a word was spoken between the three of you. the boys were still friends with jeno so you broke the silence and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. however in the hall, stood jeno with his hands covering his face.

you were his best friend over everything so of course he noticed you were there. he was happy you ended up going after the begs of hyuck and jaemin, after begging his friends to ask you.

“hi, jen,” your soft voice interrupted his lonely session. he smiled at you and greeted you as well.

“so, uhm, how’ve you been? it’s kinda been a while, yeah?” you asked, initiating the conversation. his eyes are lit up, “i’ve been good, you? and yeah it has been a while, i hope you’re doing okay.” the conversation was more civil than you thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad, of course. better than what you imagined your next conversation would be.

“minjung’s been wondering what you’ve been up to. she misses you tons.” you laughed and thought about his beloved older sister. “jangmi misses you too. so does my dad.” the atmosphere was awkwardly quiet for a moment before you heard the whistle from the ref. you then patted his shoulder and wished him good luck before actually going to the bathroom.

your university football team won that night. and you were immensely proud of jeno. he truly was blooming into a man, especially after the conversation the two of you had. he was growing as a person, and you were happy he was. you’ve known him all his life, you knew he was changing, and for the better.

—

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart,” the two of you recited while looking through memory books from who knows how long. you almost lost your best friend because of stupid feelings, but you both learned and grew from them. it was all for the better and you are both glad to still be best friends.

“jeno’s just a friend, mom. it’s simple.”

“y/n’s just a friend mom. it’s simple.”

“we’re best friends. nothing more, nothing less.”

#nct #nct dream #nct jeno #nct dream #nct dream jeno #lee jeno #jeno scenarios #jeno imagines #jeno angst #the arcana: love readings #nct collaboration #when you need me

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

Text

Last Christmas

AN: Listening to Christmas songs in September is totally normal, right? I was inspired by a couple of songs and I’m procrastinating even though I should really study for some upcoming exams but I had to finish this first. Please enjoy this angsty fluff (is that even a thing?) with one of our favorite Hockey Hunks™.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: There might be a swear word or two and one mention of sex but that’s it

My other writing can be found here

For the first time since the move you finally felt at home and not out of place. To anyone it might only be a regular Wednesday but to you it was more than that. Today marked the day you’d finally managed to clear out the last few boxes, ridding yourself of the only remaining evidence that proved you were alone in a new city, a new country.

You wouldn’t stay alone for long though, your new job was set to start on Monday and you’d always made friends fairly fast so you weren’t worried in the slightest, instead enjoying the quiet that was your apartment for now.

With Christmas less than a month away you’d finally managed to decorate the apartment accordingly and to say you were proud would be an understatement. Picking out a Christmas tree by yourself had been an adult awakening, something you’d always dreamt about.

When you were younger you had imagined a certain someone with you so you could decorate side by side but that hadn’t been an option in years. Although with the move it could be, but you quickly pushed that thought out of your head.

Locating the box with the decorations - some you’d stolen from home - had taken quite a while but as you held the hand-painted angel that had once belonged to your great-grandmother in your hands all trouble was forgotten. You’d have to climb on a stool or something to get it on top of the tree but for now you carefully set it aside, taking a look at your surroundings instead.

The string lights made your apartment glow in warm light that only added to the appeal of the city lights shining in through the big windows. The new job had come with a very attractive signing bonus and while the place wasn’t huge, the modern finishes had made you fall in love instantly.

You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed because you’d been so immersed in decorating and cleaning but the sun had long set and your supper had been quite a while ago. The TV was still on from when you’d turned it on for some background noise, not really paying attention but instead focusing on humming along to your Christmas playlist.

You put on some water and quickly changed into a pair of comfortable leggings and your favorite sweatshirt from your time at Dalhousie University so you could spend the rest of your evening cuddled up on the couch with a mug of tea and continue the series you’d started to binge watch a couple of weeks ago. You’d only just pulled the hem of the sweatshirt down your body when you heard your doorbell ring.

Who would show up at your apartment unannounced at this time?

You quickly made your way back into the living space and over to the door so you could check the peep-hole, your heart skipping a beat once you realized who was on the other side of the door. For a second you contemplated simply not opening, but while you were many things in your life, a coward wasn’t one of them.

You knew he could tell that you were home from the music still playing over the speakers and the lights probably escaping your apartment through the slit below the door so you didn’t hesitate long before unlocking the door with shaky hands and swinging it open.

Seeing him again, leaning against the wall opposite your apartment door, was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water at your face. As soon as he realized that you’d actually opened the door he practically jumped from his spot and took two big steps until he was standing a lot closer to you.

You looked up at him, really looked up at him and with him standing there, looking so much like the Pierre you knew but so differently at the same time you felt yourself being catapulted to the day that changed your life all these years ago.

NHL Entry Draft Day back in 2016.

You weren’t religious by any means and you only ever went to church on Christmas out of a feeling of obligation towards your parents but God had you prayed for Pierre to stay close to you. It hadn’t been fair to him, you were well aware of that but for one day you allowed yourself to be selfish. You knew that he was living his dream, finally getting to play in the NHL like he’d always said he would but you were also thinking about your dreams. Dreams that involved him by your side.

Perhaps you were to blame for this mess. It was you who had fallen for the funny hockey player almost two years ago after all, knowing full well that he had big dreams that didn’t really mesh well with yours to go to university in Halifax, a place your family had gone to for ages.

You’d secretly hoped that perhaps Ottawa or Montreal would select him, even if he deserved to be picked long before it was their turn. But at least he’d be at least somewhat close to you then. When he’d been picked third by Columbus you’d been so shocked that you barely remembered kissing him on live television. You’d watched him get on that stage and put on the jersey but instead of crying happy tears at the sight of his dream coming true, you were crying because you knew that this was most likely the beginning of the end of your relationship.

There’d be well over 2.000 kilometers between the two of you sometime soon and although you’d prepared yourself for this for weeks it still hurt more than you could ever imagine. But you still smiled at him all these hours later when you finally got to see him again, telling him how incredibly proud you were.

You tried your best to enjoy that summer, knowing full well that it might be your last one with him. With fall approaching he helped you move your stuff to Halifax while preparing for his own departure to Columbus.

A departure that didn’t come though, because he hadn’t made the roster for the 2016-2017 season and had instead been sent back to play in Sydney, something that had devastated him.

To say that it was hard would put it mildly. You were over four hours away from him and your home and with your new life picking up keeping in touch kept getting more and more difficult. With his travels for the team and your classes you barely saw each other, a series of missed calls and late responses really the only thing that connected you to him. Christmas was the first time you’d seen him in three weeks but you still made the best of it, spending time with him every day and for a little while things were like they used to be.

When he told you that he’d been traded to Boisbriand afterwards you knew that this was it. Pierre had known as well, the defeated look in his eyes mirroring your own and giving him away.

So you’d said your goodbyes, wanting to end things on a good note instead of going through another string of ‘Sorry I couldn’t pick up the phone earlier but call me back when you get this’ and constantly feeling left out. You’d cried, as did Pierre when you hugged him one last time, him desperately wiping your tears away and pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before leaving.

He’d ruined hockey for you then, the sport you once loved and spent so much time watching. No more time spent at the rink cuddled under your blanket and gossiping with the other girlfriends but you didn’t miss it as much as you missed him.

You couldn’t even bear to watch him on TV so you’d missed when he scored his first NHL goal during his very first game in the league and all the other ones that followed. It was only when the Blue Jackets had their playoff run earlier this year that you’d finally managed to look at his face on your screen, over two years after you’d last seen him in person.

But now he was here, standing in front of you again.

“I-“, he began before stopping himself, rubbing his hand over his face before dropping it back down to his side and continuing, “I’m sorry for just barging in like this but my mom told me you moved here and I didn’t see it until after the game but I just had to come see for myself. Apparently our families still talk..”

You finally allowed yourself to properly looking at him, trailing your eyes over the features that were once so familiar. He’d grown a bit since you’d last seen him, not just in height but he was also a lot bulkier and more muscular than he used to be, filling out the suit jacket that sat snugly around his shoulders. He must have come straight from the game, hair still a bit wet and curlier than ever, a black pea coat folded over his arm and a duffel bag slung around his torso. You felt a bit out of place in your comfortable clothes compared to his suit that was probably designer but then you scolded yourself because this was Pierre and he’d seen you a lot worse.

“Yeah I know. I ran into your mom this summer when she was in our kitchen for a wine night they apparently have regularly.” You didn’t tell him how hard it had been to not ask about how he was doing and instead make bland small talk before you could finally disappear to your old room.

How could your parents not be friends anymore after your mothers had once joked about wanting a wine bar exclusively for them at your wedding? You didn’t blame your mom for telling his mother either, you knew that she only had good intentions and she’d always wanted the two of you to get back together.

In fact you weren’t completely innocent in the situation either. It was you who had applied for a position in Columbus after graduating this year after all, thoughts of what could be in the back of your mind even if you were adamant about denying it.

“You look good Y/N. I didn’t think it was possible but you’re somehow even more beautiful than you were the last time I saw you.”

You were about to remind him that the last time he’d seen you your eyes had been all red and puffy from crying – which was anything but beautiful – but before you could even get one word out the vintage kettle you had put on the stove to make tea let out its loud screeching noise, indicating that the water was done. You weren’t about to be rude and just Leave Pierre in the hallway just like that so without a second thought you invited him inside before turning around to take the kettle off the stove.

“Do you want some tea as well?”, you asked on a whim, not really knowing what else to do with the stranger that wasn’t really a stranger standing in the middle of your living room. He’d taken his shoes off by the door, apparently still remembering how you much you hated it when people wore shoes indoors and you watched him carefully drape his coat over the back of a chair.

“Sure, thanks.”

You took out a second mug and carefully poured the tea over the tea bags, the scent soon filling the apartment. It was the same tea you always drank during the winter months, ever since you were a little kid. Pierre grabbed the second mug off the counter from next to you and quickly took a peak at the label before giving you a knowing smile. You’d made that tea for the both of you so many times that this felt almost normal, even if your current situation was anything but.

“I’m sorry that you guys lost tonight”, you said to fill the silence that was now falling over the apartment. He looked over with a surprised look, raising his eyebrows.

“You watched the game?”

“Not all of it. I was busy decorating and doing other stuff around the apartment but I turned it on and checked the score from time to time”, you admitted sheepishly, raising the mug to your face in pretense of blowing to battle the boiling hot water but actually hiding away from his attentive stare. He’d looked at you all kinds of ways over your years with him but you had never been nervous because of it, except for that one night with him where he’d seen you naked for the first time and you’d lost your virginities to each other.

Thinking about sex with him wasn’t helping your cause either though because while the first few times had been a little awkward but still fun, the two of you quickly improved and the images of him above you or his head between your legs were only turning your cheeks even more red.

He seemed to drop the subject, thankfully, and instead moved over towards the Christmas tree, admiring your work. You slowly followed him, mug closely clutched to your chest and sat down on the sofa, admiring the way he looked in your apartment instead. The time apart had treated him well and while it was a bit weird to see him with a beard outside of playoffs there was no denying that he looked better than ever.

“I see you still like to live in an environment that resembles hell temperature wise”, he chuckled before he put down his own mug on the couch table and shrugged off his suit jacket. You tried your best not to stare as he popped open the first two bottoms of his shirt before moving on to roll up his sleeves while sitting down a respectable distance away but you were unsuccessful. For the first time you saw his tattoos, as his skin had been innocent and bare up until your breakup but you couldn’t ignore how good he looked with them. Your hands were itching to trace the patterns and because you didn’t entirely trust yourself to be able to control yourself you sat on them to avoid any embarrassment.

You hadn’t even realized that your Christmas playlist had continued playing over the speakers until the familiar opening tunes of “Last Christmas” filled the apartment. You quickly jumped up, reaching for your phone so you could stop the music from playing. It reminded you too much of the last Christmas you’d had with Pierre, now almost three years ago. You’d given him your heart and while he hadn’t exactly given it away he’d still broken it when he’d left.

When you turned back around you noticed the slight blush that painted his cheeks, he’d apparently come to the same realization as you. For a moment the silence was uncomfortable and you were reminded of the time right before the breakup when you didn’t know what to say or do around him, always walking on eggshells for fear of losing him. You’d lost him either way but that was beside the point.

Pierre cleared his throat before speaking up, ripping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

“Y/N I- I have to ask. Why are you here?”

You knew that you should just be honest and tell him that you were in a way here because of him but you weren’t ready to take that kind of leap just yet. You hadn’t kept up with his personal life for fear of finding something you couldn’t bear and for all you knew he could have a girlfriend right now.

“Well why are you?”, you simply responded instead, leaning back on the couch so you could properly gauge his reaction. You weren’t the one who had knocked on his door late at night.

“Fair enough, I guess”, he huffed before running his hand over his face in the way that had once been so familiar to you.

“When I read that text from my mom, telling me that you lived in Columbus now – that you weren’t thousands of kilometers away anymore I just had to see you. I called my mom to ask if she had your address and you have no idea how smug she sounded when she said she’d text it to me.”

You chuckled at his exasperated expression, knowing full well how his mother could be but stayed quiet to let him continue.

“The team knows about you as well and if I even told you half the shit I had to listen to when I practically sprinted out of the locker room you wouldn’t believe me.”

This made you laugh out loud and when you saw him smile at you fondly your heart skipped a beat for the second time that night.

“What I’m actually trying to say – but failing miserably at – is that I never really got over you and seeing you know only confirmed that. I can’t believe I let you go all these years ago, I was an idiot for thinking I could do it without you because I was absolutely miserable after leaving you”, he finished and you hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying until he reached up to gently wipe your tears away.

“Look I know that we can’t just continue like nothing happened but please bébé, please give me a second chance. I won’t leave you again, I promise.” The fact that he’d used the pet name he’d given you when you first started dating was all it took for you to leap towards him. He wrapped his arms around you as well, creating that perfect cocoon of Pierre that you’d missed so much. When he kissed your forehead this time you couldn’t feel your heart breaking, instead the warmth that flooded your body only glued all those pieces back together.

You knew that there was still a chance that he’d get traded again and that because of his job he’d have to spend quite some time on the road but you’d been miserable after he’d left as well. At least this time you’d know that he’d always come back for you.

“I’m so glad that our mothers love their wine nights and gossip, otherwise you never would’ve knocked at my door and I never would’ve gotten you back.”

“So we’re really doing this? We’re trying again?”, he asked, pulling you back at arm’s length so he could properly take a look at you. You nodded, not being able to stop the big smile spreading on your face.

“Would it be completely out of place if I kissed you right now?”

“Not at all”, you responded before crawling closer towards him until you straddled his lap. His hands reached up to cup your face, thumbs wiping the last of your tears away – happy tears this time – and then he finally pulled you in for a kiss.

Nothing felt more like coming home than kissing Pierre.

The way his lips moved against yours was so familiar that you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss, reaching up for his shoulders so you could ground yourself in him while simultaneously getting lost in the way his body felt against yours. He buried his hands in your hair and his beard was scratching your skin but you didn’t care, instead letting him pull you closer and deepening the kiss until the only thought you could form was IloveyouIloveyouIloveyoustill.

Eventually you had to pull away though, both of you panting at the lack of air and the closeness of your bodies. It had been so long since you’d last felt his breath fan across your face like this, seen the look in his eyes as he looked at you with absolute wonder but it was as if nothing had changed, the two of you easily picking up where you left off.

“You know that our moms are gonna take credit for that, right? We’re never gonna hear the end of it”, he suddenly groaned and you giggled at his exasperated tone.

“I can live with that as long as it means that I get to have you with me again.”

He pulled you in for another sweet kiss before letting you go again, smiling up at you. You watched his gaze shift to something behind you, twisting your body in his lap so you could see what had caught his attention.

“Is that the Y/L/N Christmas angel? Did you steal it?” He stood up with you still in his lap, slowly putting you down before walking over to where you’d set the decoration earlier.

“It is but I didn’t steal it. Mom gave it to me so I’d have a piece of home with me. I’m not tall enough to put it on the top though and I haven’t gotten around to finding something to climb yet.”

“Need some help with putting it up? Here’s another piece of home ready to be climbed”, Pierre said, extending his arms to the sides and taking a step backwards so he was standing by the tree, angel still in one hand. You shook your head at him while laughing but you still moved closer, ready to climb him like a tree like you’d done hundreds of times before.

Still laughing you jumped on his back and he handed you the angel before wrapping his arms around your legs to support you. With combined forces you were able to complete the tree and Pierre let you down so you could both properly admire your work.

Your dream had come true after all.

You felt him move away from you before he was standing right behind you again, the famous tune of Wham! playing again over the speakers. He wrapped his arms around you from behind and you placed your hands on his forearms, slowly tracing your fingers over the black ink under his skin.

“You’re mon ange Y/N, you know that right? My angel. My someone special.”

Standing on your tippy toes you placed a soft kiss on his jaw before leaning your head back against him, not really knowing how to put your feelings in words right now but you knew he understood by the way he squeezed you tightly, resting his head on top of yours.

This year you’d given your heart to someone truly special.. again.

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