#stephenie meyer doesn’t know her own characters at all

[fuckyeahilike]

One of the things people will say about straights - and I swear that this is true - is that they shouldn’t talk about what it’s like to be gay or from the gay perspective, but just sit down and listen to what gays themselves have to say about their own experiences. No straight actor should be allowed to play gay, no straight author should write about an experience that is so personal and that they can not know anything about. Ok.

But then fanfic writers and their readers break this rule all the time. Almost all fanfiction is written by women and much of it is about gay love. So, professional straight authors should stay in their lane, while amateurs give themselves permission to do whatever they like. Rules for thee, not for me, apparently.

But let us by all means imagine what would have happened if Stephenie Meyer had included gay couples in her novels. I think it's self-explanatory. If you see the disgusting way that she has been accused of being a racist for writing about the Quileute in a positive way, and including them in her story instead of erasing them like actual racists always do, it’s pretty clear that she would also have been saddled with the accusation of homophobia... because the point is always that women shouldn't write books.

That is why she is being accused of homophobia regardless, even though she has kept gay characters out of her books. It’s the witch’s trials all over again, where you’re damned if you sink and you’re damned if you swim. That is why male authors don’t go through this. She is guilty of being a woman in public, visible in society instead of being at home, closed in a closet, wearing a burka, thinking about her sins.

Misogynists will be sexist, nothing about this should come as a surprise. But it still sucks that Radblr has no words of support to say in favor of one of America’s most prestigious and most successful female authors of her generation, even though Radblr is supposed to be about supporting women, and even though Smeyer has been relentlessly persecuted just like JK Rowling, often having her books burned in the same pyre.

Stuff like this is how I know that Radblr is about right-wing transphobia and not about feminism. An online group that defends people like Andrea Dworkin (who, it must be once again reiterated, advocated for incest and bestiality) but not Stephenie Meyer who is a Progressive anti-colonialist and feminist; a group that doesn’t see the point in praising a woman whose life exemplifies what giving women equal opportunities in education and in work can achieve... nor sees the point in protecting her when she is met with the inevitable sexist persecution that such women always attract, such a group is not exactly invested in securing more equality and dignity for women. They’re just misandrists wasting everybody’s time.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Last Vampire on Earth (2010)

There’s nothing like a knockoff to make you appreciate the real thing. We’ve seen many Twilight imitators over the years and The Last Vampire on Earth is easily the worst one. This film only has two modes: utter boredom and unintentional, all-consuming, laugh-so-hard-you’ve-got-tears-coming-out-of-your-eyes unintentional hilarity.

While rehearsing for a play adaptation of Dracula, college student Chloe Parish (McKenzie Grimmett) begins hanging out with and becoming closer to Aurelius (Michael Bole), a classmate playing the titular role. While studying the legends of the vampire, she begins wondering if the man she’s falling for could be one.

The word “knockoff” isn’t exactly appropriate. I think the correct term this time is “plagiarism”. Entire scenes are lifted word-for-word from Stephenie Myers’ book. Yes, I'm saying "book" rather than the "movie adaptation". This film is so poorly made the effort to pop the DVD into a player and manually type all of the dialogue to ensure the correct punctuation must have been too much for writer Mandie Abraham. I know the credits SAY this film is based on the 104-page novel of the same name (published in 2010) but come on; it’s Twilight.

Where to begin? How about with the cast? I can’t remember the last time I saw someone less qualified to be a leading man than Michael Bole. He doesn’t lack charisma, he has anti-charisma. Constantly mumbling his lines without a drop of enthusiasm, he is never convincing as a human being, much less a 2,000+ year-old vampire. He and McKenzie Grimmett have no chemistry, whatsoever. You don’t need to see the one very brief, icy kiss - the one she seems to recoil from in disgust - to believe these two would never EVER fall in love. To be fair, you can’t blame her. I once heard the film described as “'Twilight' if they replaced Robert Pattinson with an ogre”. It’s cruel… but also fitting. Don’t think I’m letting the female lead off the hook. She’s clearly either a big fan of Twilight who got suckered into this project, or an amateur with absolutely no future in Hollywood. Either way, it’s painful to watch.

The picture is poorly shot. The special effects are at the level of a middle-school project hurriedly churned out over a single afternoon. A weird filter applied to every single frame makes the film look like it was shot through a cardboard tube and the effect isn’t even centered most of the time. Then there are small details which pass by so quickly you might miss them (no thanks to the lack of subtitles). When Chloe learns Aurelius has been alive for two millennia, she asks him if he met Jesus. Of course, he says yes, Because no shitty movie about immortals is complete without the revelation that they were present for every single big event in human history. The pasty lunk replies that yeah he met Jesus, and that he was a pretty cool guy. So wait, it’s a vampire movie in which Jesus lived… and the vampire isn’t affected by crucifixes?

The writing is on a level so low even film enthusiasts who see everything are unlikely to have encountered anything like it before. It’s no secret that Twilight was heavily influenced by Stephenie Meyer’s Mormon faith. At first glance, this film’s not-Bella being a Jehovah’s witness doesn’t seem out of place. It even seems a little clever, as the Witnesses do not believe in blood transfusions. But then, you see the characters go to a church and it becomes clear this is simply window-dressing riddled with mistakes. What did you expect? The film can’t even manage to give its vampire pointed teeth. Doing something like basic research would be just way too hard.

Even within its own logic and mythology, The Last Vampire on Earth is packed thick with mistakes, illogical choices and actions which make no sense. There is nothing, NOTHING this film manages to get right, not even the DVD menu, which doesn’t even include an option to jump to a scene. Closing your eyes while The Last Vampire on Earth is playing is a sweet, sweet relief so there's a chance it may put you to sleep. To watch it, you’ll need to strain your ears so you can hear what the characters are saying. It’s shockingly bad but sprung unto an unsuspecting audience, it can be a riot. There are so many aspects of this picture to pick apart and the effort involved in the project so fruitless you can have a good time with what is undoubtedly one of the worst productions I’ve ever seen. (On DVD, November 30, 2018)

[alicebrandoncullen]

Ok, but seriously, why did Smeyer make it canon that Edward hates 70s music? That shit slaps, and so much of suits his vibe perfectly. Music will always build on what came before it, and the music of the early 2000s that Edward supposedly likes wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for artists and bands like Led Zeppelin, Queen and David Bowie to name a few. Like is Smeyer seriously trying to tell us that Edward wouldn’t like Bohemian Rhapsody? That he’d dislike Earth, Wind & Fire? That he wouldn’t like ABBA?

[therealvinelle]

Thoughts on Esme?

I have them.

To start with, I see Esme quite differently from the way this fandom appears to see her, yet also quite differently from the way Meyer intended for me to see her.

I think we all on this website have noticed that fandom has morphed Esme into a very different character than the one we met in the books.

Now, some people take this further than others, and it’s gotten to a point where I can’t tell if fandom believes this new and shinier Esme is canon, or if they know she isn’t canon but don’t care. Either way, the common denominator to all variations of fanon Esme is that this fandom is sick of the way Stephenie Meyer writes women, and see Esme as the worst affected by all. And fanon Esme is a vindication, one where Esme is an assertive, intelligent, feminist woman with a fantastic sex life and an impressive career. The ideal American woman of the 21st century.

And to each their own - if this makes people happy, then by all means. This meta is my personal opinion on her, though, and since fanon Esme has gained such a strong foothold in fandom I would be amiss not to bring her up.

Another thing I’d be amiss not to bring up is movie Esme. The Esme portrayed in the movies is, like so many of the characters, a different person than the one in the books. She is charming, warm, appears to have no difficulty controlling herself, and off the top of my head I can think of one time where she’s given what was originally Carlisle’s moment. I’m talking about sparing Bree - in the books this is something only Carlisle would do, something that has the others going, “jeez, Carlisle, only you”. In the film, this is a decision he and Esme make as a couple. This changes both their characters.

So, these versions of Esme exist, and they’re good characters, but they’re not the Esme I see in the books.

What we meet in canon is a woman who contents herself with being a 50’s housewife. No one in the house eats, she still knows how to cook. Making beautiful homes and keeping them beautiful is not just her passion, it appears to be all she wants to do. Now, humans can be housewives, and that’s a choice I respect very much, but Esme is a vampire, living in a vampire coven. The Cullens have zero need for a housewives. And she doesn’t do other things, either. There is only the creation of homes and being a mother. 

And so Esme floats through eternity, embodying the Mother archetype, going through all the motions mothers do with no deeper meaning to any of it.

She gives me the creeps.

I don’t know if anyone here has read Coraline, but in that book we meet the Other Mother. Other Mother always has time for Coraline, she makes all the delicious food Coraline could ever want, and loves her very much. The cat tells us that this may be, Other Mother may love Coraline, but it could also just be she wants to eat her. And since Bella does end up sowing buttons into her eyes, I can’t shake the association.

I think the Esme Platt who ran away to fend for herself and her child, who got a job and struggled to be independent, died with her child. This was her last tie to hope, to this world, and with his death she gave up on life in a way nothing could meaningfully recall.

She then wakes up as a vampire, beautiful (I’m guessing here, but one of the most common things men like to insult women is by demeaning our appearance. An abusive husband, living with Esme in a time where a woman’s appearance decided her worth even more than it does today, would definitely use this against her. Not to mention, it is a cornerstone in female socialization that we’re taught to value our looks. Becoming inhumanly beautiful would boost anybody’s spirits and install confidence, and I doubt Esme was an exception), stronger and faster than any human man, invulnerable, powerful in a way she never dreamed she could be. 

The man she idolized since she was a child, who was supposed to be an unattainable dream, is there, and even more wonderful than she remembered. He’s the one who saved her, and within the year he becomes her husband. 

(This by itself is too fantastical, too storybook ending, and I imagine snapped whatever remaining strings Esme still had tethering her to sanity. Any newborn vampire would find themselves in a surreal new state of being, but this is a step further. There’s getting to have it all, and then there’s... well, then there’s this.)

Then there is Edward. Days after she lost her son, she’s presented with a young man who lost his mother. 

(And this might be a post of its own, but: we never see Esme be a mother to any of the other Cullens, and I don’t think she is. It’s just Edward. And she loves him all the more for it. She wouldn’t blink at Bella dying if Edward decided his thirst weighed heavier than his fascination with the human. This is canon - they have a conversation about this, and Esme make her stance clear. She puts Edward above absolutely everything else in this world.)

What I’m getting at here, is that Esme was handed perfection on a silver platter. All the things she’d lost, all the things she’d lacked, things that had been taken from her in the cruelest manner possible, were now given to her, in perfect condition at that. Esme will never have to worry about things like money, sickness, aging, or even Edward growing up and leaving the nest. (And even when he does get married and have a baby, he still doesn’t leave the nest!)

Esme was given the ultimate do-over with vampirism, and she spends it being what she never got to be in life. (And I’ll link this post, because Bella’s in the same situation, if less extreme, and they’re both in for a rude awakening. And I don’t think Esme will cope at all.)

To Esme, vampirism is startlingly similar to the afterlife. It’s her tailored paradise, eternal and perfect. There’s the fact that every so often she slips up and eats people, but that only adds to the eeriness of it all.

Esme Cullen is more a ghost story than a vampire to me, haunting whichever house the Cullens inhabit under the guise of being a homebody.

(As for the her supposed sex life with Carlisle - Meyer said they have a spiritual relationship. That’s hilarious, and code for they’re not having sex.)

[internalsealpanic]

Love Through the Ages (Damian Wayne)

Summary:  Love like baggage needs to be declared.

a/n: This is part one of a series that is a fic rec list disguised as a fic. For these fics, most of the characters will be speaking different languages, so unless specified otherwise assume that the characters are speaking in the first language I mention. They’re all vampires with centuries under their belt. Why wouldn’t I make them all polyglots.  Also, thank you to the proof reading gang for putting up with my shenanigans.  I will have links to the fics I recommend in the fic itself.

Warnings: Everyone is dramatic. 

Masterlist

Series Masterlist. 

You wait by the platform, tapping your feet to the rhythm of the Little Colonel Bojangles Dance. It's been so long since you've seen the movie but your feet can still remember the steps- much to Damian's annoyance. Your feet patter against the pavement, wet from the spring rain, in a soft rhythm that kept your excitement at bay.

You wave to the approaching cab. The passenger of the cab looks away from you, pressing his mouth into the heel of his hand as his eyes stare out into oblivion. Your mouth quirks at the petulant gesture. You haven't seen each other in two decades and he's still mad about... what was it again? You'll find out soon enough.

The cab stops in front of you.

You bow your head, resting your weight on your umbrella. You grin at his seated form postured perfectly with an ease of a man born with the world in his pocket. He's dressed in a black suit and a dark coat that looked far too thick for spring.

"Long time, no see, little prince." You say in a dialect of Spanish too old for the young cab driver to recognize.

Damian raises his brow, articulating his annoyance. It takes you a moment to realize that it was with the accent you'd chosen. It was inelegant and curt and it mangled the curve of the syllables far too easily. In short, it was your favorite dialect.  Rolling your eyes, you try again. This time with a softer, smoother dialect much more modern but still old enough that you could talk freely without worrying about eavesdroppers.

Damian cracks a smile at you. It was wry but soft in the way Damian always was. Your own exasperated smile softens as you look at his eyes, their ever-changing lushness. It's been too long.

You open the door. Damian eases out of the cab handing the cabby what you quietly hope was the correct amount.

But considering the wide-eyed glee on the cabbies face, you can guess that twenty years has done nothing for Damian's spending habits. That was if the tailored suit wasn't a dead giveaway.

You look him over whistling," whose funeral are you going to after the museum?" 

"Yours if we're on schedule." Damian deadpans looking at his watch. 

You snort, sounding like a piglet in mud. Adoration flickers in Damian's eyes but you miss it as you throw your head back.

"Who has a schedule on vacation."

"People who don't like wasting time."

"That's what a vacation is for."

Damian makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat and you shake your head. Damian wraps his arm around your shoulders. You happily press into his side, reveling in the intimacy of the action.

Damian had been telling you a story in rapid Arabic, the only words you understood were 'Jon' and 'moron', when you pause in front of a pair of paintings. The painting on the left was of Damian, his form drawn in harsh, messy angles. He's hunched over his sketchbook, candlelight glowing softly by his side makes his copper skin and forest green eyes breathtaking. The subject is out of view. The other was a portrait of you dozing off on a workshop table, your flaws lovingly rendered in gentle brush strokes. By contrast, your portrait was lit by the summer sun. Only Damian could make your features look this beautiful.

Vaguely, you remember this.

You remember it only for the countless times it had happened.

"They say that the one on the left is the painter sketching the portrait on the right and that the portrait on the right is of his lover."  You say airily. Damian, not one to disappoint, gives you an unreadable look.

Your stomach turns. You drop the subject. Wordlessly, you two make your way to the exhibit.

"Love through the Ages?" Damian asks, crossing his arms.

"Shockingly love wasn't invented by Stephenie Meyer."  You say. Damian wrinkles his nose at you and you cover your mouth to hide the scraggly smile spreading across your lips.

"I'm shocked your paintings didn't make it in."

He looks down at you huffing, "it's only speculation." 

You're heart twinges at that.  You press a frown to your hand.

"It'll be fun, Dami. I promise. Pleeeeeease."

Damian's stern look gives way to a weary half-smile as he capitulates to you.

"I promise it will only be half as nauseating as Dick's attempts to do family bonding."

"Tt, it would take a miracle to surpass that."

You grin. "Perish the thought."

"They say this stardust came from star-crossed lovers as they traveled through space. Oh and this one is a statue gifted by Persephone to Hades."

You drag Damian all over the exhibit. Pointing to specific exhibits with enthusiasm. He has to admit. It's infectious. Then again, Damian's never been able to resist anything about you. This amount of enthusiasm for something so frivolous would have been obnoxious on anyone else but because it's you, Damian's found himself utterly enamored by it.

"This one," You say, pointing to a series of paintings. They were all beautiful, painted in bold colors. The torrent of emotions radiating off of the canvas. "This one was made by an artist torn between three loves."

"Three? She must have been an exceptional artist."

"Probably was but her name was lost." You sigh.

 "She’s got exceptional brushwork." Damian hums. 

You squint at it. You would think after hundreds of years you would be able to discern that.

"And over there! Look at those postcards!" You say, pointing the three postcards pinned to a cloth in a glass case.  One card showed the northern lights, another with a picture of a thick rainforest, another with a large cave, and another with the pantheon. 

"They're not well preserved are they." Damian comments, scrutinizing the postcards and noting all the imperfections, the little cracks and tears, the water stains, and odd splotches of dirt. 

You roll your eyes, curling your fingers around his arm. "That's cus Hermes supposedly brought them everywhere while he searched for his lost love." 

"Quite the romantic. Do you know all the artifacts?"

"Yup." 

"I see..." Damian drawls.  "Then why are we here then?" Damian winces at how harsh and impatient he sounds. 

"Cus Jon said I needed an excuse to get you here and viola. It worked. I knew you'd cross the sea for a rare exhibit."

I would cross the sea for you, no matter how many times, Damian thinks.

"What about this?" Damian points to a golden coin, shaking his thoughts away. 

You lean back, side-eyeing him. "Care to guess?" His handsome features furrow as he thinks. 

"I think it’s a coin used to pay Charon." He says finally. 

You frown. "Good guess." A smug grin curls on his lips.  You stick your tongue out at him. 

"It’s an old Greek coin to pay the travel into the underworld."

 "Why would they want to travel  to the underworld?" It's Damian's turn to frown. 

"Yanno for someone who's so smart. You're asking the dumbest questions."

"It's a reasonable question." He asserts, his tone oddly defensive.

"Most people can't bear to be apart from their beloved."

Damian hums noncommittally. He understands that. he understands that all too well. 

"Like you and Jon." You say grinning.

Damian glares at you. No real anger behind it. 

"You two bicker like an old married couple." You laugh.

 "So do we." Damian says flatly, stepping closer to you and closing the gap between the two of you. He's looking at you so intensely that your skin sets itself on fire. 

"I often think about burying you under the kitchen patio too." Damian sneers, with a sharp grin. 

You snap out of your daze. Leaning in close and smiling, your hot breath fan against Damian's face.  "Will you do it affectionately?"

The moment hangs still in the air.  If you could capture it in amber, you would.

"Huh? This is new." You say, looking down at the glass case.

"How many times have you seen this exhibit?"

You preemptively shoot him an accusatory look. "What are you?"

"Concerned."

"Pfff!"

You lean down reading the plate. "Says here it's a letter from the late 1700s and early 1800s. An unsent letter to lost love."

"Sounds cliched." Damian says, leaning down next to you. 

"You've said that about everything."

You feel Damian stiffen beside you. You glance at him. He looks mortified. Your eyes follow his and land on the letter. The calligraphy looks familiar but you can't think of where you've seen the scrawl.

Damian tugs at your shoulder.

"(Y/n), let's go."

You shrug him off.

"(Y/n), let’s go." He repeats with increased urgency.

You shove your palm to his face.

Damian wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. You flail and kick out childishly.

“Damian Al Ghul Wayne, I will gnaw your arm off.” You hiss but he doesn’t let go. In a last ditch effort to break free of his hold, you wriggle out of your coat.  Landing on your ass, you scramble for the glass case. 

My beloved (Y/n), 

Finding the words to tell you how I feel about you is not an easy feat. I feel as though Ibn Hazm himself would struggle to compose poems to express my feelings for you even then they would be inadequate.

Whilst we are surrounded by such death and misery, here in London, I want you to know that during these dark times, it is you that keeps me a light. It is you that leads me through the void and guides me.

I think I’ve always loved you from the very first moment I laid eyes on your beautiful lopsided smile. Yes. Your real smile. The one only a handful of people will ever see. I have been lucky enough to see it every day.

As time passed, I fell more and more in love with you. You have seen all of me. You have seen the monster within me and yet you still stand by my side. Never faulting in your stance.

I wish I had the strength to tell you this, face to face. I wish I could look into your eyes and whisper words of love my immortal beloved.

With Love, 

Damian

You stare at the letter uncomprehending. Realization slides off of you like rain off a tin roof. You read it over and over again until each syllable is embedded in your mind. “Damian, what the actual fuck?!”

“I-”

“You dork!”

Damian clams up unable to think of a response. Ok, no. He had a number of responses but none of them were appropriate or witty. He searches your features but the only thing he can make out is shock. 

“(Y/n), I was-”

You press your hand to the glass. “How come you never sent me this?”

“The French Revolution.”

“Which one?”

He crosses his arms raising a brow. 

“Ok, nevermind. But still, it’s been 200 years.”

“A lot has happened in 200 years.”

“A lot has happened in 200 years.” You repeat mockingly.

Damian pinches your cheeks in retaliation.   

“I was pinning for more than 200 hundred years!” You protest. 

“So was I!” Damian says, releasing your cheek. 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” Damian asks, accusing and curt. You flinch, something vile and caustic rising in your stomach.  Damian sees it and grips your hand as you fall away from him. He just got you back. “(Y/n)....”

The fear and hurt melt off of your face. “I thought… I just thought you’d...” You ball your fists in frustration, not quite grasping the right words. But Damian already knows what you’re thinking. He’s seen that look in your face. He’s seen it every time you look at the mirror. It was infuriating to watch you like this. Why couldn’t you see just how perfect you are?

Damian pulls you into a hug, burying your face into his chest and resting his chin on top of your head. 

“You are infuriating.” He mumbles into your hair.

“And you’re rude.” You mumble back.

“Yet here you are 400 years later.” He laughs softly. 

You two stand in silence for a long moment. With Damian, silence itself was a language. It was one you’d grown fluent in. An unspoken conversation of confirmations and reassurances. 

He releases you but holds your hand in his. It feels warm. You shiver and Damian smiles at you, smooshing your coat into your face. Both of you can’t help but laugh. 

You step closer to the glass case, pulling him along. Damian follows without resistance, only lacing his fingers into yours. You both stare at the page. His proclamation of love carefully preserved for all to see. You take your phone out to take a picture.  Damian shoots you a glare. 

“You’re not sending that to Jon.” 

“Tim then.”

“No.”

“Fine, for myself then.” You pause seeing the confusion on his face. “In case, you know...” You say waving your hand. 

Damian tilts your chin up. “Beloved, I’m not going anywhere.”

Your chest flutters. After centuries of inaction, you can feel your heartbeat.  

[headinthestaticsky]

The Dusk Comes for me: Jasper Hale x My OC Fleur Swan, Chapter 4

Warnings: Moments of violence, cussing

AUTHORS NOTES: None of the characters in Twilight belong to me. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

 Sorry if you find anything misspelled or out of place. I proof read these chapters 3 times I still find things wrong with it.

“I'm alone, look at the sky, my dear. I am not every falling star make a wish every time I leave so we can love until infinity.” I'm Waiting Here by Lykke Li and David Lynch

One minute I was I sleeping with Jasper in my room and the next it seemed I was in a unfamiliar location. My movements were not at will, my feet pounded against the steel floor. It was as if I was chasing someone, I soon caught a glimpse of who it was. It looked like a security guard as I was running I noticed a sign on the wall “Grimsham.” Grimsham, that’s in Mason County. What am I doing in Mason County? Two men had ran ahead of me eager to catch the man. The two men looked unfamiliar to me, I was sure I had never seen them before. The security guard had made it outside just about to get out of the area when the man with long blonde hair caught him taking him down to the ground. They then began to feed on him, They were vampires that explained the speed. But why was I moving so fast though? My uncontrolled movements moved toward the man about to start feeding on him. It was then that I noticed that I was not in my body. My “hands” looked far to pale to be my own. Before I could see who the woman was I jumped up, gasping for air. I looked around the room, Jasper was gone. 

For once I was thankful about him not being there. I didn’t need him stressing out about something that I was a dream. I stretched and got up quickly getting ready for school as I slept in a bit too long. I went for a white lace long sleeved shirt and black jeans with the same ankle boots that I've owned for 4 years. I grabbed an apple since I didn’t have much time to eat. Just as I had closed the door I saw Bella slips on a big patch of ice. I held in a laugh wanting to be a little nicer today. I saw dad pull up in her truck and quickly help her up.

“Geez are you okay Bells?” He asked.

“Yeah, ice doesn’t exactly help the uncoordinated.” She replied.

“Well I put new tires on your truck since the old ones were getting pretty bald.” 

“Oh thanks dad.”

“I’ll put the chains on your tires tomorrow okay Petal?” 

“That’s fine dad, thank you.”

“I’m gonna be late for dinner today. I’ll be working overtime.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, a security guard  that works at Grimsham Mills down in Mason county got attacked by some animal.” He explained.

“Oh.” Was all I could say. My heart dropped down into my stomach I didn’t know what else to say. This couldn’t have been a coincidence, no way it couldn’t of been. But, I wasn’t a vampire how could I have predicted this. My mind was racing. Dad seemed to have noticed my distant look on my face.

“Are you okay Petal? You’re looking kinda pale there.” He asked

“Oh yeah I’m fine sorry my mind wandered. Be careful down there dad.” I replied.

“Yeah be careful dad.” Bella said.

“I always am. love you guys.”

“Love you too.”

These past few days have been pretty tense. Bella was of course on even more edge than usual as Edward hadn’t been showing up to school. Every time I pulled into the back of the lot and joined the rest of the Cullens I could feel Bella’s eyes burn at the back of my skull. I didn’t dare to look back, thinking I might combust into flames if I even glanced at her for a second. 

Today seemed to be one of those days. Jasper and I began to walk up the stairs toward the school. He suddenly stopped and turned around glaring back at her. Bella faltered and turned around quickly, seemingly intimidated by his harsh glare.

“You didn’t have to do that you know that right? I can handle my bony twin sister.”

“I felt like I had to darlin, her emotions were starting to give me a migraine.” 

“Aww, I’m sorry love.” I said I then pecked his lips.

“Edwards suppose to be back to though right?”

“Yes, he is he’s just running late.”

“Oh okay. Maybe him being back will calm her down.”

“Hopefully, now come on, we have a history test to take.”

“Ugh, why would you remind me about that now I got a migraine.” I said.

He chuckled before dragging me to class. As much as I wanted to focus on my test I just couldn’t. That dream kept filling my head after every questions I read. 

“Who was America named after?”

“Where is the Hudson River located at?”

“Name differences between federalist and anti-federalist.”

I just couldn’t formulate a full answer without drifting back to the dream. The three people ravaged that poor security guard and I was in one of those monsters bodies. Am I connected to them in someway or was this really just a dream? For my sanity and racing heart I just came to the conclusion it was. I just barely finished that history test before the time had run out. I finally lifted my head to see Jasper looking at me, worry etched all over his chiseled face. I couldn’t be helping his migraine at all. I grabbed his hand and led him out of the classroom. English and Calculus went by quickly and I was soon back at lunch. Bella hadn’t been glaring at me from across the room today. Jasper must’ve of scared her a bit. It was nice to get a break from the constant looks of pure hatred. I was working on an essay about the Scarlet Letter for English and Jasper had left to take a quick walk. As soon as he left Rosalie had tapped my shoulder.

“Hey are you okay? You’ve seemed kinda off this morning, Jasper’s starting to notice it too. She asked.

“No, I’m not.”

Alice and Dean’s interest had peaked and listened in on our conversation.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen to you?”

“No, not exactly. I just had a really bad nightmare. It was like I was in on the attack, It wasn’t me me though I was in someone elses body. I helped with the attack I was chasing that poor man with two other men.” 

“That’s strange, no wonder you’ve been out of it all morning.” Rosalie said.

“But it gets even worse, dad told me today he had to go down to Mason county because a security guard got attack by an animal. It was the same place in my dream.”

Rosalie, Emmett, Dean, and Alice looked shocked not exactly knowing what to say.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” Rosalie said.

“Yeah don’t worry about it short-stack.”

“Yeah, you guys are right I need to stop worrying. I just can’t help it. It felt so real to me.”

“We’ll check out the area if that makes you feel better.” Alice suggested.

“I couldn’t ask you guys to do that but, thank you for the offer.”

“It wouldn’t be much trouble.” Dean said.

“No really I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Rosalie asked.

“Yeah it’s okay, can we just keep this between us for now.

“Don’t worry, We won’t tell anyone else.” Rosalie said.

“Thank you.”

Jasper had returned to the table putting his arm around my should and kissing my head. I noticed he had someone else with him, that person being Edward. 

“Been a while Edward, are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I feel a lot better.”

“Good.”

I then took Jasper’s hand feeling more content. It felt nice to tell somebody else about my dream. It was like a weight fell off my shoulders and my heart had returned to it’s normal pace. After Art and Calculus I made my way out of the building ready to head back home. Hopefully Bella would be in a better mood I didn’t want to fight today. I felt my arm being tugged on to turn me around... I of course knew who it was I guess him being back didn’t help he much. 

“Yes, Bella?” I asked in a calm tone.

“Look I know you’re around the Cullens all the time what’s going on with Edward!? She demanded.

“I don’t know.” I lied.

“Don’t lie to me! How stupid do you think I am? Everything was going fine in Biology and then when I asked about his eyes he freaked out again.” 

I held in a comment I didn’t want this to escalate.

“I am not lying Bella I don’t what is going on we never talk much.”

“Oh don’t give me that load of crap! Tell that freak of a boyfriend of yours to stop glaring at.”

“He can look where ever he wants to and he is not a freak. Don’t start something you can’t finished Bella. It won’t end well for you.” I said and started to walk away. 

“Oh no your not, you’re not going to walk away from me again!.”

Before I could say anything else I heard the screeching of a van. It was heading right towards us. I pushed Bella out of harms ways as much as I wanted to rip her head off I wouldn’t let her get crushed by a van. But I didn’t have enough time to move myself. I put my hands up knowing that it would help the impact but, my instincts just told me to do that. I was suddenly knocked down hitting my head on the pavement. I looked up with blurry eyes to see Jasper holding me and stopping the van. My breath was stuttering I didn’t know what to do.

“Are you okay darlin? I feel pain.” He asked he amber eyes filled with worry.

“I’m fine. You need to go though you can get caught. We don’t need anyone getting suspicious about you guys.” I said.

He nodded, kissed my head then left. I was suddenly surrounded by students all of them shouting to call 911.

“Oh my gosh Fleur!”

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m calling 911 now.”

“I’m sorry Fleur I tried to stop!” I heard Tyler say, he had a cut on the side of his head

My head started spinning so I laid down before I closed my eyes though I saw Bella's face for once she didn’t look at me with hatred but, shock and worry.

[jacobsbadwig]

Why Twilight Still Hurts Me in Some Ways: A (Really Brief) Look at Leah and Esme

Why Leah Clearwater was important to me as a teenager, and why I mourn for her still? Also why Esme isn’t my favorite character, and why I mourn for her as well?

With Leah, it definitely the fact her story was/is bullshit.

Her agency is taken away.

She’s viewed as bitch and aggressive and vindictive

She’s having to take care of her family after her little brother phases, her dad dies, and she’s going through it.

Not to mention, her dreams are kinda pushed to the side not that I remember the book talking about what she wants to do (it wasn’t relative to Bella’s story).

So much of Leah’s characterization is rooted in racism and racially motivated sexism. But I clung to her because (there were no black girls in the book, thank God, but still) she was the character that fit my reality a little more. Sure, I would love to fuck around with vampires as a certified vampire girl™️. But after I finished the series, I didn’t care the vampires. I really, really hoped that Leah was okay after all this bullshit happened to her for no fucking reason except poor writing and an author bullying her characters.

(I never cared about Bella as a teenager because…honestly she was that girl that I had so much in common with but we could never be friends because she would use me a crutch and siphon the life out of me while she dragged me into her problems and never offer a shoulder to cry on like she does with Jacob….this is another post that you can HMU about later.)

Leah and Esme’s stories parallel in this disgustingly fucked up way. You have Leah who wants to have children, but she is infertile (still unsure if it’s just shifting or if she was always infertile). Esme lost her baby. Esme marries Carlisle and ‘adopts’ these other vampires as her own. (And it’s kinda cruel how Bella discusses this in Breaking Dawn). Leah doesn’t have that. What happens to her is her momma ends up marrying her dad’s best friend whose annoying ass daughter almost got you and everyone you love killed. Now, you’re related to your mortal enemy by marriage. And Leah’s story just.....ends. 

For Esme. I would say she’s back where she started.....? I mean she and Rosalie get to watch Bella ignore her fucking child for eternity. 

But what about Esme? I still feel in some circumstances that there’s no point of her character. I honestly think Alice (who I don’t care for much as I’ve gotten older) is the only one important to Edward besides Carlisle. People have made posts about how Esme could have Jasper’s powers, and I think those posts are great because…..she just seems like she’s there to be a housewife and a mom to Edward.

(There’s nothing wrong with being a housewife or wanting to be one. Had she been written by someone else or had a bigger role, I think Esme would have been someone I relate to now. If you think 18 is the end of your childhood, and it’s not. It’s barely even the beginning of adulthood. You’re not on a ticking time bomb. Please know this, and enjoy your youth. Reclaim the parts you feel you missed out on. You  have my permission and a boon.)

Honestly, if I were turned into a vampire now at 27 (but under severely different circumstances), I’d be okay after a while like Esme (because she only “wins” by carrying a torch for hottie Vampire. M.D.)

But Stephenie Meyer also forces Esme to be something stereotypical and somewhat ideal.

Does Esme still like to climb trees or did she give all that up? (Was that even in the book or one of Smeyers ‘backstories’?)

Why does she cling to building houses and fixing them up beyond the Susan Homemaker thing?

Just like Bella is written for Edward (and not vice versa IMO), Esme is written more for Edward than she is for Carlisle. Most of the women in Twilight are written in relation to Edward. They are examples of how Bella should and shouldn’t act if she wants to secure the bag and be the perfect bride for Edward….even though it kills her literally physically and mentally and even emotionally.

Esme is the “ideal woman,” and Leah Clearwater is “shrew.” 

[gisellelx]

I've got to object HEARTILY to Esme being Jewish. Domestic abuse is anathema in Jewish culture (with the exception of *maybe* some very very fundamentalist sects), and it's canonical that her parents knew Charles was physically hurting her. I don't care what time period we're talking about, Esme's parents would have taken her home and she would have recourse to a divorce. That headcanon is not awesome, it's extremely culturally tone-deaf.

Oh you have decided to come into my inbox to talk about someone else's headcanon. Well, strap in, anon, this is going to be a semi-long post because there are four separate things this ask makes me want to talk about. tl;dr--this is interesting and useful, so why not direct this comment in a thoughtful manner at the OP? First, let's talk about headcanons. Headcanons are what in the trade are called backstory. They're the stuff that you, as the author, know about your character which may or may not end up on the page, but which should influence what does end up on the page. When you're talking to the writer of a source, there is a "right" and a "wrong" headcanon because the author actually does know what they had in mind (or at least, they should; I happen to think that is often not the case for Stephenie Meyer). But when it comes to fans reading between the lines, making up their own headcanons to guide their own engagement with characters? There's no such right and wrong. There're some things that are better supported or less supported, either by canon itself or by history/circumstance, of course. We can agree or disagree on them, or argue about why one makes more sense than another, but when it comes to it, we aren't the originators of the canon so unless they're running contradictory to the canon, they're not "wrong" per se. Second. Esme as Jewish. This is a piece of Twi Renaissance fanon with which I happen also to HEARTILY disagree. While I happen not to be Jewish and don't know this particular piece of information you've offered, anon, there are two big reasons why I think her being Jewish is a nonstarter: one, the Jewish population in Ohio was very small in 1911 and mostly in Cincinnati, which was the largest city at the time, not Columbus. It was also very insular--a Jewish family was not particularly likely to horse-and-buggy it to the city to see a doctor. I agree, the way Esme's parents behaved is much more consistent with Protestant, Calvinist Christianity, which would make a ton of sense for the middle of Ohio at the turn of the 20th century. I've never fully fleshed this one out in my head, but I'd be leaning toward Methodist. The second reason I disagree with it is that it strikes me as very unlikely that Carlisle would be open to marrying a Jewish woman. This is a rant suited for another day, but please never mistake my curiosity for Carlisle's character as a blanket condoning of everything he is and stands for. He's quite racist, which we see in canon, he's pretty misogynistic, and he doesn't experience much contrition for the ways his actions harm others. The religion he was raised in would've taught him to be derisive of Jewish people, and the circles he moved in thereafter would not have offered very many opportunities for him to change his mind. So I am starting from a base of assuming that Carlisle is pretty anti-Semitic. I think he probably woke up on this front around the Holocaust. These things are actually why I find him so compelling--he's pretty deeply prejudiced about a lot of things and it means he has great blind spots I can exploit as a writer. Okay, onto thing three. So why would I reblog something and tag it with my "awesome headcanons" tag when I don't agree with every single word? Because it's interesting and fun and sharing fan content makes the world go 'round. And consistent tags make it easier to navigate old content. But shouldn't I be really clear that I don't agree with that one part just be sure that no one mistakes it for my idea? Well, imagine if every headcanon or meta someone shared was followed by a bunch of reblogs of people going, "Well, actually I don't like this part even though I agree with most of these..." this place would stop being fun real quick. I lived through a time in this fandom when fic authors told their readers to go fuck themselves in their author's notes, when people created whole blogs and livejournal communities just to anonymously make fun of anyone whose fic was remotely popular, where it was seen as totally acceptable to drag people's

personal lives out in the open and mock them for whatever personal thing they mentioned having done in service of you know, just being human and talking about their lives.

That sort of constant fighting makes you not want to engage with other people. Most of us just took our balls and went home. So I'm not going to do that to another fan because I enjoy being a fan with other fans. This is also the same reason I don't spend a lot of time going "I know you all love calling Esme Jewish but I disagree because this this and this other this"...like, that's just not fun for anybody, even if I can support my position well. I will quietly hold my own headcanon over here and I'm going to not jump on somebody else about theirs.

But what if the thing somebody said actually could be unintentionally harmful? Am I telling you to just shut up about that? Part four: your very odd decision to anon into my inbox about headcanons from someone else. What you've offered here is really useful information, because as you point out, it suggests something negative about Jewish people (an already marginalized group) that isn't true and therefore is harmful. So here's a much more useful way to address that. Rather than going anon into the asks of a person who reblogged it, which doesn't get you anywhere, you could choose to either thoughtfully engage the OP, or you could reblog it yourself and say, "You know, this particular headcanon is actually problematic. You may not know this, but domestic violence is actually very frowned on in Jewish culture and it's very unlikely her parents would not have taken her back in. That they didn't suggests she's not Jewish. To suggest that she is Jewish would ascribe this untrue awful behavior to Jewish people which, given the extent to which Jewish people were and are still persecuted across the globe, is a thing you don't want to do, even unintentionally in good fun. So I just want to make you aware." The latter is probably the better option, in part because then you'll ascribe your own blog to the comment, and people can know it was your well-supported point. You'll then allow yourself room to let the OP rebut directly about why they followed that particular headcanon in the first place and what they think of your critique of it. But since it's not actually my headcanon, and one I don't actually hold, I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. Thanks for the soapbox, though.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

The Other Redhead | Riley Biers | Part 2

Riley Biers x female!reader (Victoria’s sister)

I don’t own any of the characters/plots from Twilight, that all belongs to Stephenie Meyer & Summit Entertainment

This is going to include Victoria’s backstory so her age will be 18 like it is in the books/illustrated guide.

Part 1 here   Masterlist

warnings: angst, profanity, mentions of past abuse, prostitution and allusions to SA, death.

word count:3725

Bella found her seated out on the stone steps of the Cullen’s house in the late hours of the night. Upon her arrival, not many words had been said by the redheaded vampire. She kept to herself. It was obvious she wasn’t interested in making friends with the Cullen’s let alone the human they were protecting, but Bella was curious of her.

When Edward returned home two days after announcing he was going to Miami, Bella was hesitant to let him go. Victoria was growing stronger by the hours and could attack them at anytime.

Why would Edward have to go to Miami all of a sudden? On such short notice? What was Alice refusing to tell her?

Her questions were answered days later when her love had arrived, but to her surprise he was not alone. Beside him was a beautiful immortal woman, with fiery red hair to match her blood red eyes. There was something familiar about her.

And Bella realized what that familiarity was after a few minutes of analyzing the woman’s facial features. Of course the hair should have been the first clue, but all the pieces came together. It was confirmed when Edward introduced her to the family.

Bella was skeptical to say the least. The sister of the vampire who has been causing them hell sudden appears to give aid to them? For all Bella knew, Victoria could have tracked her down before Edward and got Y/N to be her little spy. Edward assured his mate Alice would have seen that happening if it did. It made Bella a little less weary, but that didn’t mean she fully trusted the woman.

Y/N and Bella’s introduction also have her mixed feelings about her. Y/N gave her nothing more than a blank look, eyeing her up and down as if to say “you have me risking me life and safety to protect this?” She didn’t say anything when Edward introduced her, giving them a nod before leaving the room all together. Edward had apologized to Bella telling her “She’s doesn’t like strangers, and she’s not too happy about coming out of hiding after all these years. Give her time, and maybe she will warm up to you.”

But it didn’t seem like warming up was going to happen. It was the night before the group was set to go hunting and could possibly be the last time Bella would see Y/N. By the time they would return Bella and Edward would have already headed for the mountains and then the battle would follow the next day.

Being the curious person she was, Bella had decided to take matters into her own hands. If that meant having to go up to Y/N herself and try talking to her then that’s what she had to do. Edward would be disappointed in her, but then again he probably would not be surprised. 

Y/N could hear approaching the moment Bella had descended the stairs in the house. When the front door opened, she kept her attention focused ahead into the dark forest that surrounded the residence. The foot steps halted, and it could be assumed that the girl was debating whether or not she should approach or go back inside although it was very obvious the older woman knew of her presence. 

“You going to just stand there silent like a mannequin or do you plan on asking the questions I know you have for me?” Her voice had startled the young girl, not expecting her to acknowledge her and instead being silent in hopes she would leave. 

Bella bit her lip before slowly stepping down the stone pavement until she was standing next to where Y/N was seated. “Mind if I sit?”

“Go ahead,” was her reply, tone blank and void of emotion. Bella lowered her body, placing herself next to the woman but keeping enough space so she was not too close to her and invading her personal bubble. By now there was no going back, they could stay silent the whole time and not talk about anything, but now if Bella went inside she knew Edward would want to know her intentions.

“I’m sorry we dragged you into this,” her soft voice spoke after several minutes, the only sound that had been filing the atmosphere was the rustling of the trees from the wind, “I know this is probably the last thing you wanted. Helping people you don’t even know just so their little human will live to see tomorrow,” Bella gazed up to the night sky while adding, “Fighting an army of newborns.”

“Wasn’t what I had in mind when I thought about the day I would see my sister again,” Y/N had a ghost of a smile on her lips, “but leave it to her for doing something reckless that would be the reason for it.”

Bella turned her head to her, “What happened between you two?” It was a personal question, one that could surely have the woman cursing at her. Shouting how it was none of her business. To her surprise, a soft chuckle has left Y/N lips, her eyes flicking briefly to the ground before connecting with Bella’s.

“That’s a very long story, Bella. A story that’s complex with a not so pleasant end.” Bella bit her lip again, looking at her feet. “Tell me, Bella,” she met Y/N’s eye, “Edward said you were the victim of James’ game. This true?”

The shudder Bella gave was enough to confirm the truth. She closed her eyes, almost flinching at the painful memories that played in her head from those days. 

“I know what it’s like to be on the running side of that game. Not knowing if he found you already, if he was only a city away or if you managed to successfully trick him and get him off your trail.” Y/N stared back into the forest, her expression somber. Bella remained quiet. “I had always been scared my whole life. The life Victoria and I had growing up was anything but what childhood and adolescent should be. It’s been five hundred years don’t get me wrong, but I can still remember everything. It wasn’t just Victoria and myself, we also had an older sister, Anne. All three of us were the result of our father’s affair with our mother, she was a maid and he was master of the house. I don’t even know to this day if he knew we were his daughters,” her face turned hard, “after all he never treated us as such.” 

“He was a cruel man. We ended up working for him when we got older. We needed the money so we could have food. Being his maids meant we were now victim to the treatment he would give any of his servants and he was no stranger to giving physical punishment whether it be a small mistake or refusing to do something. All three of us would sneak away whenever we got the chance, but unfortunately he would find out and beat us until there was ringing in our ears. 

“Victoria and I always got the worst of it. Her hair is more vibrant than mine, even as human it was and it made her much more noticeable. Me on the other hand, well I didn’t realize what it all meant until I was turned and then it all made sense. It was always a wonder why whenever I got angry the glass cups would shatter or the fire in the chimney would blow out. Each time it happened I was whipped. 

“One day, one of our fathers whores slapped me after I had spilled wine on her when she bumped into me. I was only eight, and I was so angry. I remember thinking in that moment how I just wanted to choke her to death and as soon as the thought crossed my mind the whore had fell to her knees clasping at her neck. She was gasping for air, skin starting to look purple and I stepped away in fear. When I stopped thinking about it was when she was finally able to breath. I ran away immediately. I was scared to know what my father would do to me when he found out.” 

She let out a sigh, although there was no need to since Y/N had no reason to breath. “I was only ten when we fled, Victoria twelve. We never looked back. Even though we were now on our own, we at least had each other. It didn’t last long though. Anne began working for a pimp in order to provide for us. I was scared for her. I remember the nights where she would come covered in bruises. Her face bloody and clothes tattered where she was almost naked. She never spoke about it and tried to be discrete, but Victoria and I knew what happened. I didn’t care about the money, I would have slept in a cold alley if it meant my sisters were okay, but Anne refused to quit. Then one night she went to find a client and never came back. The pimp was furious and thought she had just left without a word so he had Victoria and I locked up. She had always shown a knack for escaping by then and was able to find a way we could get out of there.

“We were on the streets for years before Anne returned. Only she wasn’t the sister I had remembered. Anne was always beautiful, but the woman who had stood before me was like a goddess, unlike anyone I had seen and it was when she was close I saw her eyes. Blood red. Her skin was so pale and cold, she had no blemish or scars from the years of beatings she had endured. Her voice was like a melody when asked if we were happy. She didn’t look pleased when we said we were managing and would be okay. Before I knew it she had outside in a flash. I couldn’t even process what had happened before I felt the fiery pain coursing it’s way through my veins. I was sixteen--well I still am sixteen, physically at least.”

Y/N paused, her face comforting into sadness. “I remember waking up, scared and confused by what took place. I could hear everything so clearly, see things so sharply. Anne told us what she did, and I remember being so distraught. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I wanted to cry, but no tears would fall.  Anne found a dirty hand mirror in the dumpster and gave it to me. Seeing my eyes had me frozen, and soon the thirst came. I let out this loud scream and the mirror shattered in my hand, the lights from the lamppost burning out and the glass falling to the floor around us.  Anne managed to calm me down so she could help me feed, but I still was so shocked by it all. 

“It wasn’t hard to put two and two together on what my special ability was. Being able to move things with mind, making things happen with a simple thought. The only thing was if my emotions got the best of me then it could become destructive. That little incident with the whole all those years prior had made sense.” Bella could see Y/N lip curl up in a smirk, finding humor in the memory.

“I grew to be happy again, Bella,” her voice went low, “I had my sister back, we were stronger than what we were. I had this power that could protect us once I learned to control it. Anne took us to her creator Hilda and we joined her coven alongside Mary and Heidi.” Bella let out a gasp at the name, her mind picturing the mahogany haired beauty who lured humans for the Volturi. The girl was shocked by the news that Y/N had once been in a coven with her, and was curious to know what had happened between the two.

“I assume you know who I’m talking about?” 

“Heidi,” Bella said, “I met her. I-I didn’t talk to her or anything but when Edward, Alice and I were with the Volturi I briefly saw her on our way out.” The mention of the infamous coven had the older woman, well older when talking about the time spent on earth, scowl. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize Y/N utterly despised them.

“I take it you’re not a fan of them,” Bella voiced trying to ease the tension with a joke. Although she didn’t laugh, Y/N dropped the glare from her face.

“Far from it if you could tell. We stayed with Hilda, Heidi and the rest for several years. I thought everything would be fine now but of course nothing lasts forever. Even immortality. I learned that the night the Volturi came for us. Aro accused us of not being conspicuous, saying we were drawing too much attention. I had mentally scoffed when he had said Hilda was to be executed, thinking there was no way a vampire could be killed. But I was naïve. 

“I watched them remove Hilda’s head and burn her body. Heidi was taken before she could run and I watched as this female in their coven had stared really hard at her. I though Heidi would refuse to join them, but she was under the spell. Victoria grabbed my arm and we ran. Never looking back like we did when we fled our father. I could hear the screams of the others being slaughtered and I thought Anne had followed behind us, but when I heard her scream I realized she had ran opposite of Victoria and I. We lost her all over again.” Y/N had to pause when she felt a lump rise in her throat, her eyes glistening though the tears would never fall.

“Over the years as vampires we had discovered that Victoria’s specialty of escaping places or being alert to danger had passed onto her immortal life much like my telekinesis. She guided us away and we were the only two who managed to escape. We swore we would never interact with other vampires again. It would only be us two, just like how it was when Anne had first disappeared. 

“As you can probably guess by now Bella, I’m was a  fool believe things would ever be alright for us, for me. That we would live the rest of this wrenched life immortal life together with no problems, no Volturi, no coven. It would just be us.” 

Y/N drew in a sharp breath, her voice becoming hard, “Things were fine until he showed up.” Bella could see her hands laced in her lap gripping each other while her jaw clenched. “For years we were in a game of cat and mouse with James. Once he had us in his mind there was no end to it. We ran, he found us. We escaped, he chased. Victoria could sense him coming so we managed to outsmart him every time and when he got too close I flung him away with a simple thought.”

Bella was slowly starting to see the picture. Although it was blurry, it was obvious to her that James was the reason for the drift between the sisters. It must’ve been devastating seeing that Y/N had spent over a century on the run from them. 

“He got to you two, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did. He was intrigued so he stopped tracking us. Victoria could sense he had changed his decision, no longer feeling threatened and allowed him to approach us. She was enamored with him. I could tell the minute we let him get close, she was smitten. She liked that we was confident in his abilities and no longer wanted to harm us. It was fascinating to her that their abilities were like opposites, he could track, but she could escape. 

“The problem with my sister was she was naïve. Despite him not being a potential threat I still was weary of him. I didn’t like his arrogance, or the way he hunted. It was a game, a sinister one, and I never forgot that she and I were once a part of that game. Victoria though was all forgiving by that point. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anyone. 

“I figured out James would bring nothing but pain and destruction to us when he tried to hit on me. Victoria was scouting for him, which left him and I alone. The moment he knew she was out of reach to hear us was when he made his move. Bringing his hand up to move my hair from my face, telling me how he was always fascinated by me and my ability. How he longed to have me and that he was willing to get rid of my sister if it meant he and I could be together without her constant shadow.” 

Bella flinched when the lights on the poach flickered, a gasp escaping her lips and Y/N sighed again, apologizing to her.

“I was disgusted, the anger rose in me like a volcano about to erupt. He was pinned to the tree in a blink of an eye when I tried to kiss me. I held him there while I ran until I could no longer keep hold. I found Victoria and grabbed her, running away from the area for miles, but eventually she pulled me to a stop and demanded to know what happened. She demanded to know where James was. I told her everything, Bella.” 

Y/N had glanced to her feet while her face grimaced in pain. Bella could feel her heart ache for the woman. It pained her to see how hurt Y/N was, and she could only assume the outcome of this story. 

“I tried to get her to understand. That James didn’t love her, he didn’t care for her like she cared for him. How could he when just tried to seduce me and would have killed her if it meant he could have me. James would bring her downfall, he would use her and when it came time to get rid of her because if benefited him than he would. But she didn’t listen, in fact she abandoned me. Victoria screamed how I was a liar and I was trying to get her away so I could have James for myself. She cursed at me, tried to fight me. I had had enough and threw her into the dirt when she had attacked me again after I pushed her away. This gave her the chance to run back to him. 

“She left me. Alone. She took his side and left me there on my own. My own sister.” Y/N’s breath hitched and her voice cracked. Bella could hear the despair in her tone and it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. “I didn’t think Victoria would leave me, after everything we had been through, after everything we survived, she betrayed me in the most cruel way she could. We both knew he would come for me and she stood by him.” Her eyes closed, the wind breezing through her locks of hair. 

“I had never been so scared in my life, Bella. I was always scared growing up. My father was cruel and incited fear. The pimp Anne worked for was cruel. I was scared when Anne disappeared, I was scared when she turned us into vampires. I was scared when the Volturi came and I was scared when James tracked had first tracked us. Even though I lived in fear all those years with all those obstacles, I at least had my sisters with me. I at least had Victoria with me. But in that moment and all those years to come, I had never been more scared in my life now that I was alone. My only source of hope and motivation to keep me going was gone. I was alone.” 

Shaking her head, Y/N opened her glossy red eyes and stared deep into the forest. 

“I luckily had my ability to keep me out of their reach. Anytime they got close, I would get them away and I knew they were growing frustrated. Victoria was his pawn, and he was the king of a game of chess they were trying to win. Trying to think three moves a head but always falling back. Neither of their powers could match up to mine and soon they grew bored. 

“You’re probably wondering why I didn’t just destroy them. I easily could have. A simple thought and their heads would be removed,” Y/N eyes narrowed into the night, “I always had hope Victoria would come around and see the error of James. I hoped she would realize she was wrong to betray me, that she would find me and beg for forgiveness. I would have given it to her. But soon months turned into years, and years into decades and before that a century had passed. There was nothing.

“I continued to stay off the grid. Move from country to country, island to island. The hope of her coming around faded, and soon it was replaced by anger and resentment. I didn’t want to see her after so much time had passed, the damage was done and anything she said could never make amends to the decades worth of suffering I had. I was living in fear, scared of what I would do when I finally reunited with her....”

Y/N’s voice trailed and her face became blank once again. The glossiness in her eyes faded, void of the emotion they once held. Bella was quiet, her mind still wrapping around the story she had just heard. The minutes of silence felt like hours once it was finally broken.

“So why did you say yes to helping us?” Bella whispered, anxiety rising when the woman finally looked at her after keeping her attention off her for the entirety of her story. 

“Because I’m not scared anymore.”

[bellasgreensweater]

my twilight hot takes for no nuance november:

Renée was a shitty mother. She constantly put Phil and her own life before Bella.

Bella DID have personality in the books,, but it was way better in midnight sun.

The volturi aren’t evil, they’re power hungry and drink human blood, but it doesn’t make them evil. All they really want is to protect their secret from humans.

Stephenie Meyer had no reason to make Bella and Jacob romantic. They were better off as friends.

I like Rosalie as a character and she is very misunderstood, however only befriending Bella for her baby and not caring wether Bella lived or died was NOT cool.

I think Rosalie and Edward should make an effort to improve their relationship. There’s no point disliking eachother for like 70 years.

There was no reason for Bella to keep that child. Bella should’ve aborted that thing😳. It’s just Stephenie Meyer pushing her Mormon beliefs onto her characters that women can only be happy if they are mothers. Bella never even wanted a child before she got pregnant.

Leah Clearwater is highly underrated and misunderstood. I would love to see a book from her perspective.

It was incredibly unfair for Stephenie Meyer to give all of her female characters traumatic and sad pasts but not do that to hardly any male characters. (I don’t want any of them to have traumatic pasts, but that’s unrealistic, and why is it only the women??)

Edward is one of the most 3 dimensional and complex characters in the series.

Charlie was a good character but I just can’t get past the fact that he was happy that Jacob kissed Bella in eclipse.

The cullens should’ve been way more diverse.

Why are there no gay vampire couples?? (Oh yeah, that’s right, because of Stephenie) but seriously,, there were so many vampires in the saga and you’re gonna tell me all of them were straight?? I just know Stefan and Vladimir were gay.

I would kill for a book of new moon in Edwards perspective.

These are just some of my opinions,, you can disagree, just don’t attack me for them :)

Feel free to add any more to this!

[awesome-rayne101-universe]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Alice Cullen/Bella Swan, Edward Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Didyme/Marcus (Twilight), Athenodora/Caius (Twilight), Aro/Sulpicia (Twilight), Renée Dwyer/Charlie Swan Characters: Bella Swan, Alice Cullen, Cullen Family, Original Cullen Character(s), Edgar John Brandon (Twilight), Lillian Brandon, Cynthia Brandon, James (Twilight), Victoria (Twilight), The Volturi (Twilight) Additional Tags: Character Death, Minor Character Death, Vampires, References to Fried Green Tomatoes, Memory Loss, Non-Consensual Electroconvulsive Therapy, Bella's POV, POV First Person Summary:

AU story-time. Alice and Bella grow up together in Biloxi Mississippi after a "hunting accident" befalls Bella's family in Arizona. The pair fall in love but have no time to tell each other before Alice is shipped off to The Asylum where she loses her memory. Bella never sees Alice again until many years later. The pixie vampire doesn't remember her old childhood friend/crush but seeing her face stirs something in her. What could it be?

Or I suck at summaries but I wanted to try a Fried Green Tomatoes-esc fanfiction.

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Katelynw93

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Katelyn, but most people call me Kate, Katie or sometimes even Kat.

Age: 27

Location: Originally from Kansas, but have been located in Upstate NY for the last six years.

URL: @katelynw93​

Why did you choose your URL: It’s usually the username that I use for everything and if I’m being honest, I’m not very creative when it comes to titles or names. Lol. I’ve been meaning to change it; I just need to decide on what.  

What inspired you to become a writer: Well, when I was in middle school (maybe seventh or eighth grade), my best friend and I decided to write a story together and post it on a fanfiction site (Can’t remember the site name, though.) And I just loved it. We never did finish that story. Lol. But eventually I started branching out and found some roleplay writing sites.  

How long have you been writing: Started writing in middle school (2006/2007), but really got into it in 2009 with RP. However, September of this year (2020) was the first year I started really writing fics by myself and opening posting them. 

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I work a lot, usually an average of 40+ hours a week; I am a manager at a popular food chain restaurant and on the weekends, a cashier at a gas station to provide a little extra cash for my family. When I’m not working, my time is spent with my two kids; Alekzander (Zander) who just turned five this past November and Lincoln (Link) who will be two in February. Outside of work and my family, I’m usually writing. Sometimes if I’m feeling extra creative or inspired, I’ll create a few crackships for couples I really enjoy. Lol. 

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I actually found Supernatural around the same time I started writing, so back in ninth grade, so 2008/2009. It was honestly an accident too, because I was searching for Smallville episodes (I have an unhealthy addiction to Superman and DC/Marvel.) and stumbled upon an ad for Supernatural. Was instantly intrigued and fell in love. Seasons 1 - 5 (the Kripke era) are my favorite. 

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Oh yea, I love TV shows and movies, and as I’ve already stated above, I love DC and Marvel. I’ve also written for Grey’s Anatomy and am willing to write for more, but SPN, DC and Grey’s are currently the only ones I’ve written for. I love The Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill, Private Practice, Station 19, 9-1-1, Game of Thrones, The Witcher, Merlin, Dexter, Psych, and so, so many more. There are too many to list. Lol.  

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Other than RPing, not really. I mean, I did try to do an original story with my friend when I was younger, but it never went anywhere. But I am willing to try someday. 

Favorite published author: Other than the really big authors like; J.K. Rowling, George R.R. Martin, Jim Butcher, Nicholas Sparks, Suszanne Collins, I really like (and maybe it’s cliche) Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight Saga made me fall in love with reading and eventually, that love led me to writing. Those books hold a special place in my heart.  

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Well, I guess I sort of answered that one already. But there truly are so many amazing books out there and still so many more to discover. 

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): Oh man, I’m not gonna lie, a majority of what I read is probably smut. But I am particularly fond of angst. I want you to make me cry. Really dig and stab into my emotions. Lol. And then come back in with some fluff. Haha. 

Favorite piece of your own writing: Well, that would have to be Sweet Cherry Pie because it was really the first piece I’ve ever finished and published online. It was inspired by an RP that I am currently involved in and they are my favorite couple in said RP. It got so much positive feedback after I shared it that it inspired me to keep writing. I was so nervous about posting it, but I am glad I did. 

Most underrated fic you have written: Oh I’m not sure. Maybe Love Bites. I am a sucker for Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries crossovers. I really loved writing this fic and am eager to write more. 

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Oh damn, um, it’d be cool to see any of them like that. But maybe Sweet Cherry Pie or Out of the Fire (my firefighter!Dean series).  

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): There are so many, but I usually find myself reading work from; @impala-dreamer​, @katehuntington​  @deanwanddamons​, @muchamusedaboutnothing​.  

Favorite Fic from another writer: This one is tough because there are so many amazing fics out there, especially ones that I adddddore; but if forced to choose, one story that will always stick with me would have to be Treacherous by @idkhaylijah​ OR The Sullivan Series by Kate Huntington 

Favorite character to write: Dean Winchester. I adore Dean and he’s probably the easiest for me to write. I have written the most fics with him and I portray him often in the RPs that I do. 

Favorite Pairing to write: Dean with anyone, but my favorite would be Dean x Caroline. 

Least favorite character to write (and why): That’s a tough one, cause there’s not really any that I’m uncomfortable with or dislike writing. Maybe characters with accents, because I don’t really know how to capture that in writing yet? I’m pretty open with my writing and am willing to try mostly anything. 

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Oh definitely. When I first started RPing, there was another girl (Jocelyn) that I used to write with and she influenced a lot of my writing. She was older than me and had more experience and gave me a lot of tips on how to get better. She is an amazing writer and had the potential of going far with it, but life happens and unfortunately, she doesn’t write anymore. But she is booming on Youtube, so that’s pretty impressive. It’s pretty cool to see how far she’s come. 

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I used to want to be a journalist when I was younger, but other than that, not really. I just want to have fun with it and write something meaningful for someone, and always improve and get better.  

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: I have a few ideas jotted down, maybe ten, but I haven’t actually started any of them. I have so many bingo cards I need to finish, but with my work schedule, it’s been pretty crazy. 

What are you currently working on? My main project is Out of the Fire.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Definitely the RPing that I’ve done and am currently doing. My friend Alesha has been the longest RP partner that I’ve had and her writing is phenomenal - and it helps a lot too when your mind's work in similar ways; her and I always seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to writing. I love it. But like me, she has a very busy schedule and writing is limited. 

Best writing advice you've been given: Have fun with it, write what you want to write and always be open to helpful criticism. And don’t stress about it, either. Write in your own time. It’s meant to be fun, not stressful. 

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Just finding the time to write and getting over being so self conscious about my writing. I don’t let anyone in my real life read what I write.  

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? Just capturing the personalities of the canon characters sometimes; if it’s a character I’m not used to writing, I worry about portraying them the right way. And I have trouble individualizing the characters (separating them from myself/my own personality), like when I create an OC for an RP, sometimes when I have too many, their personalities all become the same in ways (if that makes sense?). And accents. I have trouble with accents. Oh, and fight/action scenes. They take me a bit.  

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I am always going to be afraid, no matter what it is that I’m writing, because I worry about it succeeding. I want to write for other fandoms though, I guess, but like I said, I worry about capturing the characters right and having a decent storyline that is unique. 

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, positive feedback. I love hearing what people think about my writing and it motivates me to continue. 

How do you deal with self-doubt: That’s a tough one. I guess I just look towards my writing friends or beta’s for reassurance or I go back and read the positive comments and likes on the fics I’ve already shared. It encourages me to continue. 

How do you deal with writer's block: I usually listen to music and I’ll look up gifs of my favorite characters, create stories in my head with those gifs or I’ll create gif sets of specific scenes. If that doesn’t work, I’ll take a break and watch one of my favorite TV shows for inspiration. 

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: For my RPs, I have a group chat with those I’m writing with and we usually shoot ideas back and forth, but mostly we wing it. For my fics, I normally just wing it, but with Out of the Fire, I have a rough idea of what I want from each part. With that said, my ideas or plans often change as I’m writing. These characters have a mind of their own sometimes. Lol.  

Do you have any weird writing habits: I don’t know about any weird habits, but I always have music on and I guess I have to do it in spurts. I’ll write a few paragraphs or sentences, pause and scroll tumblr or facebook or gifs, and then go back, reread what I wrote and then write a few more. Rise and repeat. 

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? So far, no I haven’t, and I hope I don’t ever have to deal with that. But I know it’s bound to happen. I guess if I were to ever encounter that, I’d like to say that I’ll take it as a learning experience but I honestly don’t know I’d feel about that.  

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? Oh man, I guess my favorite would have to be ellewritesfix05 reaction to the secret santa fic I wrote for her; Dean Fucking Winchester. And all the positive feedback I’ve gotten for Out of the Fire.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Have fun with it. Write what you want and what you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism and most importantly, don’t stress. Writing is fun.

[goldeneyedgirl]

Chapters: 30/30 Fandom: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Aro & Carlisle Cullen Characters: Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, Stefan (Twilight), Vladimir (Twilight), Romanian Coven (Twilight), Aro (Twilight), Charlotte (Twilight), Peter (Twilight), Maria (Twilight) Additional Tags: Remix, Drama, Tragedy, Romance, Pining, Flashbacks, History, AU, Torpor, Feral Jasper Remix, Romanian Coven - Freeform, An actual attempt at basic research MEYER, Anachronistic, Vampires can die without fire, Creative uses of venom, This is my love letter to Deep Within the Catacombs Summary:

She smiles when he approaches her, linking her arm in his, and he knows her gift changes nothing, really. He loves her more than he thinks is possible. The idea of her being so gifted is something to marvel over, it doesn’t make her more of a prize.

Not to him.

(All things are lost until they are found.)

A remix/love letter to Deep Within the Catacombs by mtwalker & salmoncentre.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hi! As someone who’s literary opinion I really trust, I was surprised that you’re a twilight fan? I know almost nothing except commen knowledge things about that series, and I always assumed it was actually bad/un-feminist. What is it that you like so much that others seem to miss? I’m just genuinely curious about your take on the hate it always seems to get vs. it’s actual quality. I’m not gonna judge bc animorphs is also one of those books where you see it and assume it’s bad.

In over 14 years of loving this series, I’m not sure anyone has ever asked me why I enjoy it instead of simply trying to convince me that I’m wrong to do so.  So thank you for that.

First and foremost, I love the Twilight saga because of the vivid detail in Stephenie Meyer’s writing style.  The descriptions are so lush and dense with sensory information that you can practically bite down on them as you read.  Bella and Jacob aren’t just sitting on the beach; they’re sitting on a gnarled log of driftwood, worn smooth at the top from where so many Quileute teens have sat upon it during bonfires but still uneven enough to rock on its branches when Bella suddenly stands to rage at her own mortality.  Meyer describes that log in Twilight, so tangibly and with such economy of detail, that we recognize it immediately when Bella and Jacob return to that spot in Eclipse.  I’ve always disliked the movies, because I’ve always felt that the best part of Meyer’s writing simply did not translate well to the screen.

Secondly, I love the feminism.

Okay, let’s take a quick pause to let everyone gasp and clutch their pearls over me calling Twilight a feminist work.  I will address the criticisms later.  For now, please just hear me out.

Twilight strikes me as a premier example of what Hélène Cixous means when she calls for “women’s writing,” or writing for women, about women, by women, with a strong focus on the concerns and strengths and desires of womanhood.  This is a series about building and maintaining close relationships, both romantic and platonic.  It celebrates beauty, and love, and care.  Bella moves to Forks because she recognizes that her dad is lonely while her mom is quite the opposite, torn between family priorities.  She doesn’t simply subsume her interests to those of other people, but instead actively chooses how and when and where to express her love for her birth family and her found families.  Most of the other major decisions throughout the story — Alice “adopting” Bella, Carlisle moving the family to Alaska, Jacob becoming werewolf beta, the Cullens going up against the Volturi, etc. — are motivated by care and devotion for one’s family and friends.  Even the selfish or morally ambiguous character choices are shown to be motivated by love.  Rosalie tells Edward that Bella died because she genuinely thinks it’ll help him move on.  Victoria creates an army that nearly destroys Forks because she’s avenging James.  Alice abandons Bella and the others before the final battle because if she can’t save her entire family, then she’ll settle for saving her lover before letting him die in vain.

Not only is there a striking concern with love and care, but there’s also a strong commitment to avoiding violence.  Bella’s eventual vamp-superpower proves to be preventing violence and protecting others, an awesome character decision that I’d argue gets set up as early as the first book.  She lives in a violent world — this is a YA SF story, after all — but she has the power to suppress violence and create peace, both in herself and others.  I was already sick of “power = ability to inflict damage” in YA stories well before I knew the word “patriarchy.”  Twilight was one of the first books to convey to me that power could be refusing to do harm in spite of hunger or anger, that power could be shielding ones’ family, that power could be about building enough friendships and alliances to have an army at one’s back when facing an enemy too strong to take on alone.

Closely connected to all of that love and care, I love how much Twilight is about navigating teenage girlhood.  Is it empowering, intersectional, or all-inclusive?  Hell no.  Does it still dare to suggest that a completely ordinary teenage girl could have valid concerns about the world?  Yep.  The main conflict of the story, as Stephen King so derisively explained, is about the romantic entanglements of a teenage girl, and the book therefore has no literary merit.  (To quote my dad’s response: “Bold words from the guy who inflicted Firestarter on the world.”)

There is, indeed, a lot of romance in Twilight.  There are a lot of clothes.  Alice and Rosalie especially spend a lot of time on makeup, and hair, and choosing the prettiest cars and houses.  Twilight embraces all the stereotypically “girly” concerns of adolescence, and makes no effort to apologize for or condemn them.  Bella isn’t particularly good at performing them — she likes but doesn’t excel at shopping, fiercely defends her ugly car as ugly, hobbles through prom on crutches — but she can still enjoy the feeling of being pretty in a sparkly dress while dancing with her sparkly boyfriend.  And Twilight, like Animorphs with Cassie, takes the daring step of treating that feeling as valid.

Speaking of sparkles, I love the commitment to the fantasy concept in Twilight, including the myriad mundanities that Meyer brings with that commitment.  If you have super-speed, why not use it to play extreme baseball?  If you’re a mindreader with a clairvoyant sister, why wouldn’t you two play mental chess games?  I couldn’t tell you, after seven seasons of Buffy or eight of Vampire Diaries, what Spike or Damien or Angel or Stefan does all day when not brooding or lurking in the bushes to creep on human women.  I can tell you what the Cullens get up to.  Emmett and Rosalie work on their cars, usually by holding them overhead one-handed.  Carlisle and Alice read plays, and sometimes talk the whole family into home Shakespeare productions.  Edward and Carlisle debate theology, Emmett and Jasper have dumb athletic competitions, Edward and Esme play music, Alice manipulates stock markets, the twins go shopping online, etcetera.  The Cullens feel real, feel like the vampires next door, in a way that Louis and Lestat simply do not.

To get to the elephant in the room — I just described Twilight as a feminist text! — let’s talk about the other thing the Cullens do for fun: they have sex.  Weird sex.  Kinky furniture-breaking sex.  Sex that Emmett (who would know) compares to bear-wrestling.  These books suck with regards to queer representation, but they are sex-positive.  They feature an old-school Anglican protagonist offering his daughter-in-law a medical abortion.  They treat Edward’s desire for sex only within marriage and Alice’s desire for sex outside of marriage as both being valid.  Like I said, not groundbreaking, even by the standards of 2005, but still more than most teen novels do even today.

There’s a passage from Breaking Dawn that people love to pull out of context as “everything wrong with Twilight in two paragraphs” because it describes Bella waking up the morning after sex with bruises on her arms.  That moment is shocking out of context, to be sure — but in context, it’s the end result of an in-depth consent negotiation that lasts four books.  Bella says that she’d like to become a vampire.  Edward says okay, but only if she spends a few more years living as a human and considering that choice.  Bella says okay, but only if Edward, not Carlisle, becomes the one to turn her.  Edward says they can use his venom, but that Carlisle, who’s an MD, really needs to supervise the process.  Bella doesn’t love the idea of Edward’s stepdad cockblocking what’s supposed to be an intimate moment, and so agrees only on the grounds that she gets to have sex with Edward as a human first.  Edward’s hella Catholic, so he requests that they get married first.  Bella’s super horny, so she demands that the wedding happen within six months.  Edward says that he might hurt her during sex, and Bella says that she wants a little hurt during sex.  They marry.  They bang.  During the banging, Edward makes every effort to be controlled and courteous and gentile, while Bella goes wild and crazy.  The next morning, she has bruises and he does not.  Edward apologizes, but Bella’s actually really into it.  She spends a while admiring her sexy vamp-marked self in the mirror, touches the bruises many times, and reminds us yet again that Bella Swan’s whole M.O. is being a monsterfucker.  Her kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

To be clear, I think there are other aspects of the romance that get criticized for good reason.  Edward does not negotiate with Bella before sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, and he does make unacceptable use of their power differences when he thinks she’s in danger of being mauled by werewolves.  The text condemns Jacob’s “don’t wanna die a virgin” ploy to manipulate a kiss out of Bella, but not the wider conceit of all the male characters as possessing uncontrollable urges.  Bella’s struggles to adjust to a new town feel very feminine and realistic; her amused tolerance of Jacob’s and Mike’s sexual harassment as the price for their friendship does not.  Werewolf imprinting might be mostly platonic, but that doesn’t make it okay for Meyer to depict it as a form of soulmate bonding that happens with child characters. Those are good points, all around.  I just wish that most of them didn’t come up in the context of post-hoc rationalizations for loathing the femininity of a feminine text.

I’m not calling Twilight an unproblematic series.  I’m saying that it gets (rightly!) criticized for appropriating Quileute culture, while Buffy’s total absence of main characters of color and blatant anti-Romani racism are (wrongly!) not remarked upon. I'm saying that I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for liking Twilight but not for liking James Bond.  I’m saying that there’s a reason people tend to go “oh, that makes so much sense!” when I let them in on the fact that reactive hatred for “Twitards” started and spread on 4Chan, later home of Gamergate and incel culture.  I’m saying that Twilight depicts problematic relationship dynamics as sexy — but then so do Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, Supernatural, Vladimir Tod, and Vampire Diaries.  All of which take the time to stop and thumb their noses at Twilight, smug in the superiority of having vampires that fly rather than vampires that sparkle, and for thoroughly condemning teenage girls for being girly while continuing to show men inflicting violence on them.

After all, as Erin May Kelly puts it: “we live in a world taught to hate everything to do with little girls.  We hate the books they read and the bands they like.  Is there anything the world makes fun of more than One Direction and Twilight?”  No one has ever called me a misogynist for liking the MCU, in spite of less than a third of its movies even managing to clear the low-low bar of the Bechdel test.  Because people are still allowed to like Harry Potter in spite of its racism, or Lord of the Rings despite its imperialism.  Because hatred for Twilight was never about its very real sexism, or the genuinely silly sparkle-vampires, until it had to justify itself as something other than hate for everything that teenage girls have ever dared openly love.

I enjoy the novels, and I enjoy the fan fiction that tries to fix some of the problems with the novels.  I appreciate the extent to which Meyer has elevated fan culture, and made an effort to acknowledge her own past mistakes.  I would love to be able to talk about my love for the series as a flawed but beautiful work of literature, but for now I’ll settle for asking that the world just let me enjoy it in peace.

[randomnumbers751650]

Sometimes people ask a thing like “how did it get so big?” This is almost like any meme in the internet and sometimes even whatever is in the Top 10 bestselling books of any list. Due to being a historian of economic thought, I’m study the ascension of the idea of the entrepreneur as a hero, how it happened and its consequences, both good and bad. Therefore, I couldn’t avoid Ayn Rand and Atlas Shrugged. It wasn’t a good experience and I’ll talk more about it under the cut.

I think we all know how much of a controversial person Ayn Rand was. But it worked. She’s one of the most influential writers of the 20th century whether we like it or not. Like, a lot of people say she hates the poor and minorities. It’s even a meme, like there’s a joke SCP that makes everything it comes into contact unnecessarily verbose and one of the incidents was a sticky note written “I hate poor people” that becomes a copy of Atlas Shrugged.

After reading her work, I can safely say these are traps she set up in her own work. Not only that, these traps hide the true problems of her work.

In first place, we need to consider her demographic target. That wasn’t me, if I wasn’t researching, I wouldn’t even bother reading it. Like, I remember I saw in the internet a game called “The Jihad to Destroy Barney” and someone commenting: “because 20-years old thinking they’re funny were obviously the demographic target of Barney the Dinosaur”. Rand knew what her demographic target was, after working in Hollywood for so many years.

One might think that her demographic target was people like her, but it’s wider than that. Through all her book, producers (she doesn’t use the word ‘entrepreneur’, but it’s obviously the same) are the protagonists. Dagny shows her dedication to her railway, always looking for ways to improve it, to hire the best people to work with her, to deliver the best product she can, always treating others with respect. All the producers are people full of passion for what they do. They do not just for the money, they do it to express themselves (but still want/should be paid).

Meanwhile their enemies are the government organs that want to curb them, by introducing legislation to make everything equal, like people are forbidden to be fired, prices are controlled and so on. And they are evil, they are hypocrites who don’t really believe in the altruistic values they spouse or they are too dumb to realize they’re being hypocrites. They are always men in position of power, evil bureaucrats, quisling industrialists, hypocrite union leaders (though the union leader, Fred Kinnan, interestingly is the most sympathetic of the villains, and actually gets away scot free, to the point some think he’s a Galt agent undercover).

Rand aimed for the real life entrepreneur identify with the “heroes”. All the companies have names of their founders in their titles, Taggart Terminal, d’Anconia Copper, and so on. Their enemies show their true faces by naming themselves with abstract titles, like National Union and so on. She aimed the person who ever had to deal with the Health Department, with the Labor Department, who has to fills forms and more forms and say “Wouldn’t the world be a terrible place if it wasn’t for you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you didn’t have to do all of this? If you just had the opportunity to truly express yourself? Free from the prying eyes of government inspectors? Rejoice, because I have the answer!”

Rand answers this with the Galt’s Gulch – a utopia of freedom, where the word “give” is taboo, while leaving the outside world of looters and moochers to destroy itself. All the producers are gathered to escape the terrible collectivist world around her. Everyone has money and, since they’re all enlightened by the principles of greed and selfishness, the prices are small, even symbolic. Monopolies are good and rivals are always being taken down, and they rejoice with it, both winner and loser, because they contributed to the expansion of human spirit.

When John Galt says “I swear – by my life and my love of it – that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine”, he’s implying all men who belong to this valley. They are not ashamed of taking low jobs, because they know their true power is what they do with their minds and hands. Francisco is shown to be perfect in everything he does, makes one think he’s a Gary Stu, but it’s because, according to the book’s philosophy, if you’re a true man, anything you do you become the best. For this reason, Galt’s Gulch is quite diverse, because it has not only industrialists, but also factory workers and small businessmen who share their ideals. And not only workers, but also artists, intellectuals and others.

This is why I think the argument “this books hates poor people” might not be accurate. The low worker whom Eddie Willers meets in the beginning is actually John Galt in disguise. This I think it’s the most important part to understand why Atlas Shrugged was so influential with small businessmen when published: John Galt is where the Übermensch and the Everyman meet. “Who is John Galt?” Anyone can be John Galt – the same way anyone can be Bella Swan, anyone can be Ritsuka Fujimaru (at least before the 5th singularity), anyone can be Kirito Kirigaya – the idealized self of the entrepreneur.

Thus, one is not born a “man”, but becomes one. Dagny and Hank’s entire character development is to become “men”, to learn to love themselves more than what they create, no matter how passionate they are. This contrasts with Eddie Willers, Dagny’s right hand man, probably the most tragic character of the tale.

Eddie loved the railway just as Dagny. He’s been her friend for so long, and even developed feelings for her. But the book constantly observes that Eddy doesn’t have the capacity to lead something as important as a railway. But he does it nevertheless, dedicating all his resources and passion for the railway. But, unlike Dagny, he doesn’t learn to look for greater things. Thus, he ends the novel stuck in a railway, defeated and probably left to die.

This is controversial, so much everyone still discusses his fate. In the movie adaptation, they deviate from the novel by having the heroes making a point to rescue him from his fate. In Jennifer Burns’s biography, she mentions a letter Ayn Rand received asking about Eddie and she replies that in a collectivist society, Eddie would’ve perished, while in a free one he’d be living okay. Nevertheless, this reveals a truth about that world: not everyone will become a “man”. Eddie would never become a “man”.

Since pity is against Galt’s doctrine, Eddie cannot be pitied. He has to live under the mercy of his Galtian overlords. He has only two options: either worship the feet that trample him, expecting his breadcrumbs fall from their banquet table, or to question his place in the world, thus denying that A is A, and be trampled harder. It really doesn’t matter his kindness, his dedication, he’s not a “man”, and thus has more in common with the looters and moochers than the heroes. Thus, if Eddie ever becomes an obstacle to the productive forces, even if unintentionally, he has to be trampled.

While one might think that I’m being unfair, it should be reminded that Ayn Rand openly advocated the people who were killing Natives during the American expansion to the West were doing nothing wrong. The Natives were actually privileged for being trampled by the productive forces, thus creating the great nation. The same argument can be made for the colonized people and even to the “essential workers” of this pandemic – since apparently people who take this book seriously are one of the most resistant forces to lockdowns and mask mandates, you can guess why.

And this is why Rand hated the environmental movement, because it puts an obstacle to the productive process. Nature can only react with deaf indifference to Galt’s speech. For Rand, this is unforgivable. Would it be surprising if oil tycoons were fans of Rand’s work?

In the end, the producers execute their revenge against the world that rejected them. Galt’s speech caused a lot of disturbance and the last chapters deal with its consequences, with more villains being evil for no reason and more showing how awesome their heroes are. Galt becomes more and more like Jesus, even with a gnostic Judas in Dagny helping him. In fact, in the funniest part of the book, where it comes THIS close from being self-aware, he says to his tormenters, when they asked to cooperate with him: “It took me three hours on the radio to tell me why”. It gave me angry laughter.

In the end of the day, what matters? This is a work of fiction, where caricatures of men and women fight each other. The entrepreneurial process works nothing like described in the book. It takes a naïve view of selfishness, upon saying that if everyone was selfish the world would be a better place, when in reality, if you expect selfishness, it’s what you’ll get.

It’s never explained how they invented their inventions, only that they did it and it’s awesome. The One-Man Industrial Revolution trope is one that I loathe a lot, because it misrepresents the innovation process. It requires so many factors, including government funding – scratch that, it REQUIRES government funding because technologies like touch-screen used to be so risky that no private company would take seriously and government can fund because it doesn’t go bankrupt the same way. Even if we take it as a metaphor, it doesn’t work when you stop to think.

Rand belongs to the same class of writers as Stephenie Meyer and Christian Weston Chandler. But she wanted to influence the world, she wanted it to be more than entertainement, much more. Thanks to her publishing network and appeal to real problems, she did it. This is why the problems of her work require critique. And I hope anyone reading this try to understand better what “relatability” means, this is what relatability can do. Stop trying to look for relatability everywhere, let it just come naturally and if it doesn’t come enjoy the story!

[headinthestaticsky]

The Dusk Calls for me: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 15 FINALE

AUTHORS NOTES: This is a long one folks... hope you like it.

 ALL THE CHARACTERS IN TWILIGHT DO NOT BELONG TO ME! ALL RIGHTS GO TO STEPHENIE MEYER!

WARNINGS: Violence

“Before you slip into unconsciousness I'd like to have another kiss Another flashing chance at bliss Another kiss, another kiss.” 

Crystal Ship by: The Doors.

POV: BELLA’S

I slowly opened the ballet studio doors, I peaked around each side of the room before entering. It was quiet, and I didn’t see mom anywhere the entire room was void of people. 

“BELLA? BELLA? WHERE ARE YOU!?!”

I knew it, I knew Fleur was wrong... mom was here!

“MOM?”

“BELLA!”

“I’m coming mom!”

I ran to the end of the studio and opened the door, my heart sunk into my stomach... It was a TV, of an old home video mom took of me when I was a kid.

“Oh there you are! What are you doing in here?” My mom said.

“Mommy, I suck.” I said back to her, she gasp.

“You do not suck!”

I heard a laugh, it was deep, my blood had run cold, I knew who that voice was. My breath had started to stutter, but I face him. His body was imprinted on every mirror in the room.

“That’s my favorite part... You were a stubborn child weren’t you? Hmm?” James walked up to me, he petted the side of my head before pushing me against a wall.

“S-she’s not even here.”

“No.” He pushed his face closer to mine, breathing me in.

“I’m sorry... but you really made things too easy for me... so to make it up to you. I’m going to make a little film of our time together. I stole this from your house... I hope you don’t mind. And... action. Oh, this will just break Edward little heart.” 

I glanced up, I thought my mind was deceiving me... I saw Fleur, she was holding a rock in her hands. She brought her finger up to her lips and silently shushed me.

“Ed-Edward has NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.” I said, I pushed myself up but I was pushed right back against the wall.

“Oh but he does, his rage will make for a much more interesting sport than his feeble attempt to protect you... and let’s continue.

“HEY!” 

James turned around, before he could say anything a rock was thrown right at his head. His skin had a slight crack in it... he looked pissed. When he turned back around to me I sprayed him in the eyes with my pepper spray. I took off Fleur waiting for me halfway in the room. She grabbed my hand and made a rush to the door but James jumped right in front of us. He grabbed me and threw me into a glass podium. He then turned toward Fleur, a deadly look was in his eyes.

“BELLA!” She screamed.

POV CHANGE: Fleur

All the fear had left my body as soon as I saw him... it was as if adrenaline had taken over me. I threw that rock with all my might, hoping to damage him in someway. I saw the slightest crack on him, and I got him to divert his attention toward me for a second. Bella and I then ran for the door but James got in our way. He threw Bella into a glass podium and then turned around to face me. The fear still didn’t enter my being, I was beginning to wonder if I had a death wish at this point. Before I could react James grabbed me by the back of my hair and turned me around to face the mirror. He slammed my head into the floor. He lifted my head back up and made my look at my now bloody appearance in the mirror.

“Jasper... he is just as pathetic as Edward... he left you this, fragile, idiotic human... He didn’t have the strength to turn you. You make this hunt much more...fun.” He licked the side of my head, drinking my blood in the process.

“You think your so amazing? I’ve seen the way you hunt and track people... It’s mediocre at best.” I spat back out, I could hear Bella groaning in pain in the background.

“How have you seen me? If I sensed you were there I would’ve eaten you up too.”

“I’ve had dreams, I was in that slut of your’s body Victoria... I saw how you hunted, it’s pathetic.”

“...You’re lying...”

“Oh yeah... does this sound familiar to you?”

“It’s always the same, inane questions. Who are you?” 

“What do you want?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“James... let’s not play with our food.”

“How in the hell could you be able to do that...You’re human, nothing more, nothing less.” James said, his grip tightened on my hair, he teeth were clinched. He was seething in pure anger.

“That doesn’t matter...” I said my dark brown eyes glaring back up at him through the mirror.

“All I know is Jasper is going to kick your ASS!”

James dragged me away from the mirror, bringing me to Bella.  He then set the camera down and grabbed both of our legs. Breaking them instantly Bella had started to scream but I held it.

“It doesn’t hurt...nothing is cracking... nothing has broken.... I will not give him that satisfaction of him knowing he hurt me.” I thought.

“Tell them how much it hurts.... tell them to avenge you!”

“NO EDWARD DON’T”

“That means you too...tell poor ol’ Jasper how much it hurts.”

I didn’t budge, he then let go of Bella’s leg and grabbed both of mine, He hurled me threw me through one of the mirrors. A large piece of glass was impaled into my side he then dragged my through the glass, my back getting cut along the way. He then dropped me  and turned to go back to Bella but before he could someone had knocked him out of the way. I then heard a bang against one of the mirrors.

“You got here first... because your fast than the others... but not stronger.” James said.

“I’m strong enough to kill you!” He then kicked James back, I couldn’t tell where though. The room was starting to spin, It felt like I was floating. I could tell who it was though it was Edward, he looked between Bella and I not knowing who to go to. He turned his head to me before muttering a “I’m sorry Fleur” to me. 

This was it, I was going to die here...Edward was going to take Bella and leave me here. I saw him jump up in the air toward a window but James had grabbed him and drug him and Bella back down to the ground. I was gasping at this point, the pain and loss of blood was starting to take it’s toll on me. I heard Bella scream in extreme pain, I knew James had bitten her right then and there. I couldn’t even say anything, I had blacked out. Muffled screams and voices had come into my sense of hearing. I woke up after being shaken by someone.

“Hey, hey, darlin, look at me. You’re going to be fine.”

“J-jasper?” I said... I didn’t recognize my own voice, it was weak and frail.

“Yeah, it’s me... you need to stay awake for me okay? C’mon let me see those beautiful eyes huh?” 

My eyes opened slightly I could see the blurry image of a fire with Alice, Dean and Emmett fighting for something to go in it. I felt a gigantic pressure on my side and hissed. I began to fade out again.

“Hey, hey... c’mon keep your eyes open... you have to stay awake! You can’t forget about what you told me in your room that night... 

I weakly grabbed his hand, squeezing as tight as I could.

“Jazz, y-you need t-to go... my blood, you can’t be comfortable right now. He ignored me and continued in on his rant

You told me you’d live... that no matter how much you got hurt... you would live, you would still be human. You can’t break you promise on me now... you need to stay awake. Fleur? FLEUR!”

My world faded to black again, the sound I heard was the beeping of a machine, it smelt like I was in a hospital. My eyes twitched and I heard rustling on the side of the room.

“Petal? Are you waking up?” It was my dad’s voice... relief filled my body, he was okay. I finally opened my eyes, they were burned by the bright fluorescent lights in the room.

“Dad?”

“Hey petal, you feeling okay?”

I tried to sit up but, a stinging sensation on my side made me lay back down.

“I’ve been better.”

“When I got the call from Jasper, my heart dropped... I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” Dad said, he grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

“I’m here... just a little beaten up right now.”

“Jasper has been here ever since you came in, he hasn’t eaten or drunken anything... in 3 days. I’ve tried to get him to eat something but he would budge. You picked a good one Petal, I’ve never seen so much dedication for someone before.”

“So, you aren’t mad at him?”

“Not at all, Edward on the other hand... he needs some work.”

“A lot of work you mean.”

He chuckled 

“Yeah, you got that right.”

“Is Bella okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine... she told me what happened. She said you were chasing her down a flight of stairs in the hotel  when she tripped dragging you down with her... and then you both went through a window! Do you remember any of this?” 

“Nope, none at all.”

“They said you lost a lot of blood due to a piece of glass stabbing you on the side, it was close to hitting the side of your lung. You got stitches over there.”

“Oh, that explains the pain then.”

“Yeah...”

“I can’t wait to go home... I miss it there... and I miss my bed too.”

“The rooms ready for you Petal.”

The hospital room door opened, we both looked up and saw Renee looking in on us.

“She wants to see you.” She then closed the door behind her, not even acknowledging me.

“Well I see she hasn’t changed much.”

“Yeah... not at all.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with her dad.” 

He turned and looked at me, and then he smiled.

“It’s worth it for you.”

“I love you dad.”

“I love you too.” He then left, leaving me alone in the hospital room with Jasper.

“Hey Jazz.”

“Hi Darlin.”

I opened my arms, inviting him in for a hug. He accepted the invitation immediately.

“I’m so happy to hear your voice again love.” We pulled apart, now facing each other.

“I’m happy to be alive, to be able to see you again. Did you guys get James?”

“Yeah, we got him, boy you should’ve seen Emmett and Dean... they were brutal.”

“I couldn’t of imagined how you felt... I’m sure my blood made you uncomfortable too.”

“You’re the one in the hospital bed... and you’re worrying about me? You did the same thing in the studio. You told me to leave, that you didn’t want me to be uncomfortable around all your blood. You are something special my love, purely amazing.”

“Of course I worry about you Jazz...I love you.”

“I love you too Darlin.”

TIMESKIP: Two week later.

Getting back to Forks was amazing, I never thought I would be so happy to see that small town again. The first week back was rough, I could hardly move, the pain was unbearable at times. The second week was a lot better but, Bella and I haven’t talked much since our fight. The tension was back... and I knew I couldn’t trust her anymore. She was too selfish, too self absorbed, she would risk me and everyone around her just to save herself and Edward. Rosalie and Alice visited me whenever they could and today, the were helping me get ready for prom. I didn’t think I would be able to go but, the pain in my side was nothing more than a annoying throb.

“You guys really don’t have to do this you know...” 

“Yes we do, besides I picked out the dress and I want to see you wear it.” Rosalie said.

“I’ve always wanted to do your makeup and hair... and since I’m here, you can’t stop me now!” Alice exclaimed.

“Alright, alright, make me beautiful!”

A few moments had passed and my make up and hair were done, I was impressed. They really knew what they were doing. I quickly changed into my dress, this was the most beautiful I had felt in the past 2 weeks.

“You look beautiful.” Rosalie said, she looked at me through the mirror, a smile was on her face.”

“You better go, Jasper’s waiting downstairs with Charlie...”

“Okay, okay, thank you guys.”

We all three hooked arms with each other and made our way downstairs. Jasper and Dad sat up walking toward the stairs, they both smiled at me.

“You look gorgeous.” Jasper said.

“Thank you, you look great. Just ignore the cast... it’s a lot...”

Jasper wrapped his arm gingerly around my waist and kissed my cheek.

“You two have have fun, stay safe.” Dad said.

“We will dad.” 

Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and I all made our way outside, Emmett and Dean were waiting for us. 

The drive was nice, it gave me a sense f peace after everything that had happened to me. I wish I could keep this feeling this forever, I felt safe, loved. Jasper had helped me out of the car and guided me through the front of the building. We got our pictures taken and made our way inside... it was a bit chaotic. I looked around and saw Angela and Eric, she looked at me and waved happily. I of course, returned the gesture. I then saw Jessica with Mike, she was posing and taking pictures. When she saw me I gave her a thumbs and mouthed,”You look incredible.” She mouthed back, “you do too!” 

“Come with me, love.” I heard Jasper say, he pulled my attention back to him.

I he pulled me towards the outside of the building, it was secluded. The lights from the inside and the gazebo gave it and warming glow. He turned to face me and grabbed my hands. He pulled my on top of his feet and then began to dance.

“This isn’t how I exactly envisioned this moment but, the one part I knew would happen is still here.” I said.

“And what would that be?”

“That I’d be dancing with you.”

“Looking you over, and you don’t know my name yet.

By the time you looked away I already knew I couldn’t fake it.

I got this need for you, forming in my beating heart.

I knew the meaning right away, when only yesterday were worlds apart.”

“I’m glad I got to be apart of it with you.” Jasper said

“I do too, the happiness you’ve made me feel, is always the best I’ve ever felt.”

“You brought me back to life, love.”

“And you brought even more life to me.”

“I think I may love you, 

If you give my sometime,

Maybe you’ll love me too.”

“I got this need for you, if you come closer I can whisper in your ear.

And if you wanna walk away 

I’ll tell you all the things I know you’d wanna hear.”

“You know... I was talking with Edward he told me some things about Bella.” Jasper said.

“What would that be?”

“Bella is in desperate need to become a vampire now.”

“Wow...”

“So I wanted to ask you... are you in desperate need to become one too?”

“ I mean... I would love to spend eternity with you but... it’s way too soon for me to change. I’m not ready to leave dad yet...”

“That’s a relief to here love.”

“If I were to get changed so soon... It would have to be because I’m about to die... I won’t do it any other way.”

“I promise I won’t change you unless I absolutely have too.”

“I’ll come closer,

To you if you

Come over

I know we’ll go farther

Farther with you

With you I’m in warm water swimming down.”

“I love you Jasper Hale.”

“I love you Fleur Swan.”

“With you I’m in warm water swimming down.”

Warm Water by, BANKS.

END OF BOOK 1