#stfu malic

[nonbinarycryptic]

WHAT FUCKING YEAR IS IT

[tartsnturrents]

I have stolen Dart's phone

@nonbinarycryptic

[audhdnight]

Pro tip before you talk about shit you don’t understand, learn to read statistics correctly because

“72% of same-sex couples that got divorced are wlw couples”

IS NOT THE SAME AS

“72% of lesbians get divorced”

[vampprince-sono]

I…

How is it possible that someone is this fucking beautiful

What the fuck

I am in shambles 🥲😭

[githvyrik]

I hate you cold I hate you dark I hate you frost I hate you wind I hate you snow I hate you slush I hate you ice I hate you

[the-nintendo-dsi]

woe, sonic.exe introject be upon ye

We are going to kill you if this ends up happening

[moonlitnyx]

𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒…𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒?!?

Your boyfriend absolutely spoils you. But hey, whats so wrong with that?

ft. LEONA KINGSCHOLAR, MALLEUS DRACONIA, VIL SCHOENHEIT, DEUCE SPADE x GN READER

content. TOTALLY SFW, fluff, there isn't any nsfw i did a pun in the title (do u get it) reader could be seen as yuu

notes. Reader is so lucky to get spoiled i wanna get spoiled not fair not fair-also, new fic layout!! Hope u like it...also I listened to MAGNOLIA by Gang of Youths while writing this and bro its such a good song stfu

ft. LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Leona leans back on the carseat, arm resting on the back of your seat as he lets out a sigh as you show him your newest haul that you had gotten from the store using his credit card, mind you. You grin toothily, the backseat of his car filled with an astronomical amount of bags that make even him rethink his decisions.

"At this rate, you just might make a prince of Sunset Savannah go bankrupt." He eyes you wearily. "How does someone like you need all of this stuff?" He says the words without malice-no, instead filled with pure confusion.

"Ohhhh c'mon, you're a prince! You should know a lil' luxury is essential for happiness in life!" You exclaim, and Leona looks at you with skepticism.

He shakes his head, amused. "Okay, okay. Stop lookin' at me with those eyes or I might just buy you a whole mall next." He grins, sharp canines poking out.

"OMG, maybe I can do your hair now that I got new hair products!"

"Don't push it," He drawls. "I haven't forgotten the last time you 'did my hair' and I ended up with pigtails."

"Not my fault you looked so cute with pigtails! Look I even have it on my phones home screen-"

ft. MALLEUS DRACONIA

"My love, I would buy you the world if it meant seeing you grin like that."

He smiles as he places the delicate chain on your neck, paired with a pendant of a wilted rose studded with rubies and emeralds. He had meticulously picked it, he had told you with a small, almost shy smile.

"You shouldn't have, Malleus." You ears are red, flustered just thinking about how adorably sweet Malleus is. "You keep getting me things that I don't even have time to give you a thank you gift."

"Nothing is more precious a gift than your happiness," He murmurs, planting a chaste kiss on your temple. You giggle at his words.

"Your such a sap. Sometimes your a full 180 when your talking with Leona," You say, amused.

"Kingscholar is a brat." His green eyes are filled with annoyance at the thought of Leona, and you snicker.

"Maybe he thinks the same 'bout you." You nudge him with your elbow, and he looks utterly exasperated. "C'mon, lets go get ice cream!"

Malleus' mood instantaneously lightens. "Ice cream?" His voice is filled with a childish excitement, and you nod, a grin plastered on your face.

"It'll be my treat, this time."

ft. VIL SCHOENHEIT

"Liebling, please buy at least something." Vil frowns as he stares at your hands, which, too his dismay, don't hold any shopping bags, not even food.

"I don't need anything, plus I feel guilty that I'm leeching off of you." You shrug, and Vil's purple eyes are filled with concern before he scoffs.

"Mein Liebling," my darling, "You're not "leeching off" of me." He lets out a soft smile, and pinches your cheek, which leads you to let out an indignant "ow!" and a cackle from Vil.

"What's the point of being successful if I can't spoil you?" He clicks his tongue, before glaring at you. You know he's just upset that you're thinking bad about yourself, and it made your heart skip a beat. Most thought that Vil Schoenheit was a stuck-up, rude, controlling snob, but really he just was showing his care for those he loved.

"'m sorry, Vil." You let out a smile, and Vil sighs in relief. "But, if you''re going to spoil me, then I get the right to spoil you too!"

"If you must," Vil waves his hand. "Whatever makes you happy."

ft. DEUCE SPADE

Deuce knows that he can't compare much with his friends and seniors when it comes to education or being rich, but Deuce knows that he doesn't need to be rich to spoil you.

It's the small acts, him giving you half of his lunch when you cant afford one yourself, helping you study while also horribly struggling himself, giving you small gifts that remind him of you.

Today was like any other, with both you and Deuce banging your heads on the table as you study for Trein's newest test.

"You're a real one, Deuce." Your voice is muffled as you rest your forehead on the wooden table. "When I asked Ace for help he sad that his tutor fee's were "twenty dollars an hour"! He's such a scam," you grumble.

Deuce looks up, a smile on his face. "No problem. I thought it would be cool if we both got A's and showed off to Ace." You laugh at that.

You nod. "Let's wipe that smirk off Ace's face!"

©moonlitnyx. do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

[redpandamemes]

*squints heavily* why are my lip piercings acting up so much

[bad-got-imagines]

His Royal Obsession

Summary: After the fight at Driftmark, Viserys arranges a betrothal between Aemond and Rhaenyra’s only daughter, Visenya. Beautiful, graceful, and brave, she is the only woman in the Seven Kingdoms who can tame the wild prince. Their budding romance might prevent a war, however, Aegon has something important to tell them both first.

Word Count: 677

Trigger Warnings: Heavy smut, pwp, incestuous relationships, swearing, canon-compliant body mutilation, communism, voyeurism,

Aemond woke up from his slumber. 

"Good morning, my albino draconic big boy," His wife screamed from her pillow, stretching her toes above her head until they popped like his eye flesh from his empty, empty socket, "You are looking extremely eyeless today." 

Aemond smirked, "I am not looking at all, cunt." 

She giggled, pinching his nose, “Because I took your eye, I know, my dark prince.”

Aemond stood and loomed over her menacingly. His one eye flashed in stomach-clenching desire and malice. “You are the most handsome woman in the whole seven kingdoms, Visenya, even with your love for breeding,” he reminded her, turning to leave.

“Please, my favourite prince with spacious room in the ocular of his skull, leave me with a creampie before the council meeting?” She waggled her toes at him, knowing his secret desires. (a/n Aemond and Larys both have a thing for feet bee tee dubs and if u dont like that then stfu!!!111!! Its sooo hot tttt). 

“Brother, where art thou?!” dnomeA shouted, knowing that argon was always nearby, lost. 

As ageon watched aekond enter his wife, he saw that there was more to love than just poetry and romance. Perhaps, he thought, there was room for a little breeding in his life too. Hm. 

And so, Aegon II Targaryen joined his brother and sister-in-law on the bed, and they all spent the morning laughing, loving, and breeding in the way that only Targaryens could. Incestuously. 

“Looks like we'll have to cut our breeding session short, my love,” Desmond roared regretfully, sharply pinching her earlobe erotically. 

“Your the smartest, bravest, most handsome man I know, Aemond,” wegon said from the doorway, voice filled with admiration and de-admiration. 

AEMOND chuckled, clapping his brother on the back. “I know, aegon,” he said, his voice slathered with humour. “But let's not forget that we're also the most virile and sexually gifted brothers in the seven kingdoms plus essos.”

And on the two brothers went to the council meeting, ready to conquer the world with their intelligence, bravery, and impressive sexual prowess. 

Aegoon looked up at his brother, eyes sparkling with the ghosts of his past, "But brother, I thought we were going to give our organs to starving orphans today?" 

Aemnod raised an eyebrow, his one eye narrowing in confusion. "What are you talking about, sexy? We never talked about giving our organs to starving orphans."

eagon's face fell, his eyes growing sad. "But...but I had a dream last night," he said, his elbows trembling. "A dream where we were heroes, saving the lives of innocent children with our sacrificial organs."

aemond sighed, reaching out to pat his brother's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Aegon, but dreams aren't always reality," he said, his long, shiny hair soothing. "We have more pressing matters to attend to, like the council meeting."

Aegon nodded reluctantly, his eyes downcast. "You're right, as always, brother," he said, his voice resigned. "I suppose we can't save the world with our organs after all."

Aemond turned the corridor corner, pulling on his clothes and checking his reflection in the mirror. "Come on, Aegon, let's go to the council meeting," he said, his tone firm. "We'll discuss how we can make a real difference in the world, without sacrificing our own bodies."

And with that, the Targaryen brothers made their way to the council meeting, ready to conquer the world with their intelligence, bravery, and impressive sexual prowess.

Aegon stood up in the council room, “I have an idea. Why don’t we tax the wealthy and then redistribute the wealth amongst the poorest in society.” 

“Be quiet, you gormless weasel!” AEmond growled, slamming his ankle against the table gently, “Communsim is not allowed in Westaros! Our lord and savious Jesus Christian Cole will not allow it!!!!!” 

Aegon’s shoulders slumped and he shrank down to the size of a mouse. 

Visenya burst into the council chambers. “Aemond my big boy!” she clamoured, “Someone has claimed the cannibal!”

“WHAT?!” awmons roared, jumping up in terror 

“Who?” aegom gulped loudly 

“It was.......m.

Continued in part 2.

“Your mother, Queen Alicent!!”

[starsscarmyceiling]

Gimme some of that Clone Wars AU pls! Stirring the Sky

Hoooo ohhh man, Abby! The origin story to this one is actually pretty funny…and I know I’ve blathered on to you about my fics…BUT for everyone else…so a few months ago, an anon asked me if I had any sort of fic prompt ideas floating around in my head, which you can find here. And what do I do ofc??? Why, write out 5k worth of prompt ideas because a bitch over here can never stfu. And ONE of those ideas…I honestly got really attached to it and I was like…well oh NO I am going to have to write this, aren’t I?? It’s from the “Canonverse Divergent” section, I thought of this Clone Wars AU, and this is the original prompt I wrote:

“Clone Wars AU where Cal and Jaro are assigned to try and recruit the Nightsisters to try and get the upper hand in the war with Dooku (lol I wouldn’t say exactly a Dark Disciple route but that’s up to you). Merrin is voluntold (the opposite of volunteered) by Mother Talzin to try and become allies with the Jedi (they could have their own shady Nightsister ulterior motive going on as well), and Merrin reluctantly goes with the Jedi. And oooooooOoOooo wow the shenanigans that can ensue from that. (Merrin also has to try really hard not to lose her shit over leaving Dathomir for the first time in her life). I’d imagine a lot of frustrations from both parties. The clones mercilessly make fun of Cal and his Nightsister gf (but they also have to tell him what’s up). He thinks she’s unreasonably obtuse and rude, and she thinks he’s frustratingly smug/arrogant. Merrin could prove to be a definite asset in battle. Cal probably thinks it’s hawt 😳 OH NO SHE’S HOT SEE LOOK HOW WE GOT HERE WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN HERE.

Now suddenly she’s mysterious and complex, and he’s frustrated that he wants to know more. He’s actually the sweetest person she’s ever seen and she’s angry about it. She constantly has to check in with her sisters and it’s getting harder and harder to go behind his back or deny that she maybe might not hate him anymore she maybe even may want to smooch him WOAH who knows. They bond over feeling used in this war. Come on. You got it from here right?”

Soooo, YEAH…I gots a little too overindulgent in my thoughts and started writing THIS…but I am so very excited because it’s just the two of them being endlessly frustrated yet hotted up for each other at all times. All the clones ship it HARD. Merrin starts to grow attached to some of the clones that are very welcoming to her…actually fun fact…if you’ve read my fic “what’s grown between (surgery scars)” when Cal told Merrin about his clone trauma…I literally pulled what he was saying from this WIP…HEH…

ALSO, I honestly just want to live my best life and push forward my personal HC that I have of if Cal were older during order 66 or it never happened, him and Jaro would 100% have Jake and Holt energy from Brooklyn 99 agenda.

And I am so very excited to explore a lot of these themes that I’ve brought into my Merrical writing in a setting like this. Cal contemplating his feelings, his so naturally compassionate and empathetic spirit that wants to take care of everyone else before himself, and then someone like MERRIN steps into his life??? OOF I am gonna have some fun with this and the psychometric Jedi and space witch of it all. GOODNESS I am so excited for it.

AND SO…here is a long ass preview because I honestly didn’t know where to cut it off…Cal is answering a comm from their commander, Zand, on his and Jaro’s ship and well he may have sensed a presence while doing so…😏😏😏

When there was nothing there still, he turned once again to his original direction, but as soon as he did, there was a flash of green light and smoke, and suddenly, there was a figure there before him.

“There is no need to brandish weapons or administer threats Jedi,” she stated with her voice laced in malice, which ironically enough did feel like a bit of a threat.

Cal severely balked at this sudden interaction, “Who are you?”

The woman crossed her arms with still a severe expression on her face, “Does it matter? We are all just—unsettling to you anyway.”

His eyes narrowed as he put the pieces together in his head, “Were you—spying on me?”

Her expression changed to that of incredulity as she raised an eyebrow, “You left the door to your ship open.”

It was a bit shocking, her audacity as he bristled all over again, “Are you seriously blaming me for you trespassing onto my ship and listening in on my private conversation?”

This woman, who Cal only now after processing the last several moments did he start to take in her appearance, did give off such an intense energy in the force. Cal felt her ire, her disdain so much so that it almost made him feel dizzy.

A short breath escaped him as he shut off his lightsaber, and all she did was continue to glare at him. She was short statured with light gray skin and intense brown eyes. Her soft features on her face were adorned with tattoos that lined her forehead, her cheeks. And it was all coming to a head, feeling her emotions, his emotions of frustration, accost, but now he was also flustered, bewildered, and definitely anxious.

He hated to think, though it was sad, but true, that he thought she was astoundingly beautiful.

His mind tried to do a complete turnaround because that was very much besides the point, and he did his best to keep his mental shields up, having no idea what she was capable of as she finally continued to speak.

“Though Mother Talzin invited you here Jedi,” she said again with such derision to her words, “do not hold the false notion that you are in any way welcome.”

Cal almost wanted to laugh at her statement, his own ire stacking up again in his mind, and he actually welcomed it as it was much easier to process in the moment than anything else he was currently grappling with.

An exhale escaped his nostrils harshly as he kept up his glare, “Believe me,” he stated with his own contempt, clipping his lightsaber to his belt again, “I would like to get off this force forsaken planet as soon as possible.”

She tilted her head at him, seeming to descry in her own way, which caused the fringe of her silver blonde hair to slightly cascade into her eyes as they scanned over him. It made him—exceedingly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons he really couldn’t dwell on at the moment.

“That is at least something we can agree on Jedi,” she uttered in a flatter tone than she had before, but still possessed an air of intolerance.

“I have a name you know. Don’t know how I’d get around the confusion of actually just going by the moniker of Jedi,” he stated in what was a mockery of her sardonic tone of voice.

She stood there still for several moments as she raised an eyebrow at him, which to him translated into some form of her being through with his banthashit.

“Jedi…the Jedi?” The Nightsister questioned with a genuine air of perplexment to her voice.

Honestly, once she said it out loud, Cal really wasn’t sure what he was even trying to accomplish. Was he trying to make a joke? Was he trying to be a smartass? Was he trying to break the tension? If Jaro was asked, he’d probably claim that Cal would try and accomplish all of the above.

“What, are you attempting to be clever or snide?” She asked as she began to take careful steps circumventing him, “Or just insulting? You think you can come to my home and disrespect me in such a way?”

Cal crossed his arms as he scoffed, “You’re the one who snuck onto my ship first, Nightsister.”

If she was going to address him in such a way he’d do it right back. He was feeling that petty.

Though, he very much resented himself when his mind flashed with the title ‘Nightsister, the Nightsister,’ and he had to hold back a stupid smirk.

She was temporarily out of his view, though he still felt her, always felt her as she too laughed humorlessly, “You are extremely full of yourself, aren’t you Jedi?”

The way she said it this time seemed to give off the same amount of snark he was emanating.

Cal waited until she was there in his vision again as he slightly upturned his chin to her.

“I bet you’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? Profile me, put me in a box of whatever your false perceptions of Jedi are,” Cal almost barked at her. Force, he didn’t even remember the last time he’d been so irritated with a person.

“And you are not doing the same to me? Making your own assumptions and insulting something you don’t even understand.”

Another scoff was in his throat, “Yeah, and let’s still not forget how you acquired such information from me.”

Her glare was fierce again as the disparagement was almost palpable on her face now, “I only was scoping out the situation because I have my people’s interest in mind.”

Cal realized he was flexing his arms now as they were still crossed over his chest out of sheer frustration, “You could have just asked me you know; I would have been more than willing to speak with you about any such matters that occur with my order.”

“And how was I to know this? All I have heard about Jedi is that they are liars and selfish thieves!” She exclaimed.

Again. He was taken such aback again at the gull.

“And where in the hell did you hear that? A Separatist the people The Republic is trying to stand against?” He said, but then he already had another retort on his tongue, “And for that matter, we were the ones that were invited here and ever since we arrived, all we have gotten from you is blatant disdain when we hadn’t even done anything!”

“None of us wanted you here!”

“That’s not my problem! Don’t take your misplaced frustration out on me!”

His statement seemed to give her pause, and Cal hadn’t even realized that they’d somehow managed to step closer and closer to one another in this skirmish and were definitely in one another’s personal space.

Kriff, how did I end up here?

Her eyes were narrowed up at him as he still found that anger, but he also cornered something else in them that was not easy to place.

“You should have never come to Dathomir Jedi,” she admonished in a strained tone.

A short sigh fell out of his mouth.

“Cal.”

For the first time, he found actual confusion on her countenance, “What?”

“Cal, my name is Cal Kestis, not Jedi. Again, I don’t go by Jedi the Jedi.”

Honestly, he wasn’t exactly sure why he said it. At this point he recognized they were both being assholes to each other.

Her eyes were all over him again though as she leaned back to cross her arms, “Do you think you are exceedingly hilarious, Cal?”

He didn’t know what it was. The concept of his nomenclature was always simple, straightforward concept in his mind, but there was something in the way that she said it, the timbre of her voice, that drove him insane.

And that sort of insanity seemed to have many faces right now, many of which were irritation.

Still, he crossed his arms all the same, “I am starting up my own comedy tour, actually.”

And never in his life, as he was already trying to convince himself that it wasn’t true, had he ever been so…aroused by the utterance of his own name.

This…he needed to get himself out of this situation now.

Her eyes scanned him again, “I do not find your antics the least bit entertaining.”

“Well, I guess I won’t be reserving the cranky Nightsister a seat, now will I?”

A narrowed gaze in his direction now. And he wasn’t sure how he felt—about being under her scrutiny.

“You are extremely arrogant and insolent,” she declared, her eyes still fierce, “but it is not as if that really matters, Cal.”

He was very much resenting the shiver that was sent down his spine.

SOOO YEH, hope you guys are as excited for this one as I am!!! I literally think these two don't even have the ability to be around one another and NOT be super horni right off the bat for each other haha.

SHENANIGANSSSS

[nonbinarycryptic]

Jayme's venom makes the victim see what they want most, right?

So Diego's most wanted thing was to participate in a dance battle with his siblings against the sparrows. This is the most in character thing ever for him me thinks

[cvbullshit]

✿ Dream and MafiaFell :)

BAHA I LOVE HOW IT'S INSTANTLY DREAM AND MALIC

AND ABOUT SEX

Okay okay

Headcanon? I have multiple

I fully believe Malic is the constantly horny one

Dream is deffo the bottom, I am all for Switch or Top Dream but with MALIC?? I Yeah no he's the bottom

This is kinda a canon fact but Dream's neck probably isn't the best spot to target when in the mood, that's more of a ticklish area for him so if Malic tried that area Dream probably burst out laughing no matter what he did

Dream's pelvis probably cracked the first time they did it, for reasons some will instantly know and others won't

I bet Malic acts like some sort of pimp when they do it, like bro stfu you ain't no pimp, get off yo high horse 💀

Imagine- Imagine Dream having his snake body during it 👀

Dream probably likes curling up on Malic after it, if he has his snake body then the tail probably wraps around his waist.. the best it can

Rough. There is no way, it ain't rough as shit, not with Malic.

I can imagine Malic wanting to do kinky names and dirty talk and Dream is just like "😳 how.. how I do that?"

MALIC SO LICKS DREAM'S SOUL OR CHEST THERE IS NO WAY HE DOESN'T

Facilier does not approve, at all. That shadow thing probably tries to tune them out.

Dream: "What position do you want to do?" Malic: "Yes."

Malic can probably get really mean during it, I mean like, he's mean all the time but just saying, probably even in bed

Dream was bodied the first time they did it, there is no way that man could walk for at least a day

Dream: *sweet and affectionate* Malic: "Ew. It turns me on more."

Now I'm not saying it's cannnooonnnn, not gonna confirm if this headcanon list is caannooonnn or not, just sayin'

[doomlordsbutfunni]

Master Hazard has a problem with Pixar’s Elemental

He just woke up angy (Sorry for the swearing 😔) (Also no hate against the movie or the characters this is simply just a skit using the doomlords, they are meanies but I luv them.)

They all probably ended up watching the movie and liking it (good source of entertainment away from their doomlord duties). But I haven’t even watched the movie yet so I can’t really say, heard it’s good tho! I probably will see it in the upcoming future.

Anyway I had a lot of other ideas of what would also be said in this situation so here are some of them:

Master Pain: Stfu Hazard, you’re just jealous people like her and no one likes you (aside from being a doomlord.)

Master Malice: Hazard you do know there’re a bunch of other characters that are made out of fire or have a fire aesthetic, like wouldn’t your parents and ancestors also be made out of fire- why are you getting so mad at this

Master Hazard:

[greenyvertekins]

Reblog to make the assholes who claim that Yuji Naka is an asshole who “sabotaged” X-Treme out of malice for not lending the NiGHTS engine STFU.

[squ1dteeth]

I understand your sentiment and I do agree animation errors happen regardless and if anyone pointing out the errors is doing it out of malice they should stfu. But to me there are so many more erorrs/larger issues compared to other productions that I personally see it as a sign of the production's failure to give their animators ample pay/time/resources/references to do their jobs well. It's like circumstantial evidnce to me. Begs deeper questions. (I don't make any of the animation error videos myself, this is just how I view them.) I think for others the need to point the errors out might just be fun for them, or it might come from frustrations with fans that blindly over-inflate their compliments of the animation as if it is flawless when it is indeed flawed and very likely comes at the cost of over-worked and underpaid animators. Thems my two cents.

I think this is definitely a stance I can agree with more. I just wish it was more often represented from that angle instead of one that seems more malicious

[dolphiana]

JOHNNY DEPP WON THE TRIAL AGAINST AMBER TURD!!! It was proven she defamed him and that the accusations of abuse were false. ...and yet the controversy continues.

That's it, imagine the gender roles were reversed.

Amber was the one who's gotten her finger cut off, constantly tried to get away from her abuser, had numerous bruises on pictures and a truckload of witnesses confirmed what a gentle and polite person she was.

Johnny was the one who was taped saying "I didn't punch you, I HIT you!" & "Go tell the world you're a victim of domestic abuse and see who believes you!", constantly stalked her everywhere, wouldn't stop yelling and fighting, caught in several lies and contradictions.

The case would have been clear right from the start.

But because our society can't accept an older man being the victim of a younger woman, this whole shitshow started. Believing Amber Turd without any proof, demonizing Johnny. Because it can't be possible that a woman abuses a man. Even during the trial and EVEN NOW people and the media can't admit Johnny has won and is innocent.

No, they continue saying "both kinda lost" or "both are toxic" which is the equivalent to saying "Well, she abused him but he kinda deserved it." It really annoys me when people haven't watched the trial and still have strong opinions like that, because gheez, if you have no idea what has been revealed in the last 6 weeks then STFU! Sending dark text messages and venting like Johnny did is NOT abuse. He didn't say it to her, he messaged it to friends. We all have written and said things that were mean and which we regret, that doesn't mean we're all abusers. And did you read Amber's whiny post on Twitter? Complaining about her first Amendment right of free speech? Sorry Turdy, free speech isn't about spreading lies out of malice to destroy someone's life and career. Btw, real feminism wants equal rights for women AND men. The backstep for #metoo isn't Johnny's fault, if you have to be mad at someone, be mad at Amber.