#still a self medicating human person obviously but still

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

What if I just took a total left-turn from wine aunt to weed aunt?

[secularprolifeconspectus]

Quick Pro-Life Responses

Keep in mind: the fundamental disagreement between pro-life and pro-choice is on whether a fetus is being formed into a person, or if the fetus is already a person and is simply developing.

Confidently assert, “you say that because you think a fetus is not a person yet.”

They may concede fetuses are people in word, but still not conceptualize them as full people worthy of equal consideration.

“I have the right to bodily autonomy.”

Abortion is literally suffocation, poisoning, or dismemberment of a living human organism.

Abortion induces fetal demise by depriving a human of oxygen, blood, or vital function.

Bodily autonomy does not justify abuse of power and excessive force over a helpless person.

Abortion, a disproportionately brutal response to a passive threat, is aggressive violence.

“No one has the right to use my body.”

Correct. But, a prenatal person does not use a pregnant person’s body. They have no agency.

A pregnant person’s body takes care of the prenate. This care is ordinary and healthy.

Abortion is not like refusing care to a dying person, it is like murdering a healthy captive.

No one has the right to murder someone who they caused to be dependent on them.

“I have the right to revoke my consent.”

When you give consent, you agree to accept the foreseeable outcomes and risks of an action.

The creation of a bodily dependent is a foreseeable outcome of consensual intercourse.

You cannot revoke consent to outcomes. You can revoke consent to actions.

You may not violently sacrifice a helpless person to “mitigate” a risk of a consensual action.

“Anything dependent on my body is a parasite.”

If you make parasites, then you’re a parasite; it’s misogynist to suggest women are parasites.

The female body would not actively try to make pregnancy happen if it were parasitic.

Prenates never directly cause pregnant people harm; they are not aggressors or parasites.

Using developmental dependency to justify murder is simultaneously ageist and ableist.

“An embryo is just a clump of cells.”

Human embryos meet NASA’s criteria for the characteristics of distinct living organisms.

Human embryos are self-directed and their development follows a body plan.

Human embryos are organized and individual. They already have inherited capacities.

Tumors and gametes do not follow an organized body plan.

“Early humans have no cognitive capacities.”

By week 3, the embryo has a spine and is developing a nervous system.

By week 5, the embryo has a rudimentary brain that controls their pulse.

By week 8, the embryo has pain reflexes and can move their limbs.

It’s incredibly ableist to use the cognitive inabilities of a human being to justify their murder.

“If a fetus is a person, so is a brain-dead human.”

A brain-dead human is, obviously, dead. It’s an oxygenated corpse, the remains of a person.

Death occurs when human organisms stop resisting entropy and lose organic integration.

Preborn people actively resist entropy (decay) and have organic integration (unity).

An early human organism isn’t dependent on a mature brain to organize her vital functioning.

“Later abortions only happen for medical reasons.”

According to two studies by pro-abortion researcher at UCSF Katrina Kimport, this is untrue.

Kimport’s studies found that the reasons for later abortions are similar to early abortions.

Later abortions aren’t euthanasia; infants are stabbed with lethal injections and dismembered.

Perinatal hospice and palliative care relieve suffering. Dying babies deserve love, not murder.

“What about rape and incest?”

Abortion is not evidence-based treatment for sexual trauma. Abortion is traumatic as well.

A preborn child should not be condemned to the death penalty for their father’s crime.

It is safe for most menstruating children to carry pregnancies to viability with sufficient prenatal care.

Children conceived in incest are likely to have disabilities; that’s not reason to murder them.

“What about health of the mother?”

Every abortion ban in the US has exceptions for if the mother’s life or body is in grave danger.

We are not against tragic cases of triage. We are against elective induced abortion.

Some procedures coded medically as abortions aren’t legally or ethically defined as abortions.

Pro-life doctors report that the bans have not impeded their ability to treat their patients.

Your Core Arguments

There is no sound evidence or consistent logic that proves the preborn are the only class of human beings exceptional to the rule that humans are people with equal rights.

If a being is in the dynamic process of bonding with us as kin, then that being is a whole actual person by the manner of actively and inherently relating to our collective humanity.

Embryonic humans are full and equal people like us because they latently embody our same capacities and are manifesting them as we are, on account of sharing our nature.

[s0lemnhypn0s]

(Warning for this post I'm half asleep so I might be incoherent or have disjointed topics. Bare with me, I'm trying to express my thoughts the best I can.)

(and WARNING! i discuss personal paranoias at one point during this, which include the topic of bugs and self harm)

"Billford is ironic we're shipping them ironically" "We don't actually want to see them together" "We don't think theyre a good pair" "its irreconciliably abusive" "its one sided"

ok I'm gonna put forward a take that might be poorly recieved: I think you all are misunderstanding Billford (And each character individually) and just reducing it to "bill abused ford" takes away so much of what makes their dynamic fascinating. And also claiming "Erm its a bit" while engaging in something you "recognize" as abuse only does a disservice to the topic of abuse and how it relates to the mentally ill (I will get into that later). You are treating the relationship as a joke and only acknowledging the abusive aspects when people come at you is just pretty scummy of you. Speaking as someone who experienced a near identical abusive relationship, where my paranoia was preyed upon, causing me to still suffer from the paranoia of being watched by them or that my abuser will eventually send someone after me.

In general, the existence of abuse is a complicated one and abuse is not a catch all, end all term. Not all abuse is built the same. Billford is undeniably abusive, but there is not a period after "abusive", are you picking up what I'm putting down. It's not just "Bill was exerting power over Ford and thats it"

Lets start with: We all recognize Ford is paranoid, but we don't seem to recognize Bill as paranoid in the exact same way, dare I say - Even more paranoid than Ford. I mean, ford got his "Trust no one" quote from Bill directly saying his rule of thumb for trusting people is to just trust no one. He doesn't trust others - He simply doesn't. And this is part of where Bill Cipher's manipulation of SPECIFICALLY Ford comes in.

Now I am going to speak from a personal anecdote of my experience with paranoia and delusions - Me, I will try to "safeguard" against my every little fear and belief that something will, undoubtedly, undeniably, be out to hurt me, and these safeguards are often extreme in nature. They don't make sense to the people around me, but they make sense to me. Sometimes they hurt the people around me. Sometimes, they hurt me. I believe this is the same with Bill Cipher himself. He is taking measures to make sure his worst fears do not come to pass. And because Bill is decidedly not human, only interacts with humans when he deems neccesary, those measures often take the form of something even more extreme than, idk, me shaving my head because I thought bug eggs were in my hair or trying to cut open my skin because I thought something was living in it. They take the form of something abusive (Which is also just... Something that happens with the mentally ill sometimes. I see you guys trying to separate our mental illness from our actions and claim "thats not making you do that". I see you.). Him trying to guard himself from something so terrible(facetious) as Ford's percieved betrayal ultimately becomes a self fufilling prophecy.

Not to mention, if you guys didn't notice. Bill without a doubt projects his own insecurities onto Ford. "I make you feel important" Ford makes Bill feel important. "No one loves you" He was ostracized in his dimension. "Who will miss you" He destroyed his entire home, nobody would mourn Bill, because they were all gone, long gone. "I'm sending someone to steal your eyes" Might be a stretch, but I look towards the silly straw poem "A different kind of eye doctor, who wants to make his patient blind" Obviously the use of "blind" here is metaphorical, but I feel its still in some ways applicable.

Bill very evidently experienced medical abuse and ostracization in Euclydia, something exceedingly common for those labeled as mad. (Which also brings me to the topic of people saying "I'm so glad they didn't make Bill a sympathetic villain in the book of bill" bc. Hi. I'm a guy thats experienced ostracization and medical staff forcibly medicating me in order to fix me. I think he is sympathetic actually). Not only that, Bill Cipher had a trillion years to fester in his resentment and his guilt, and you think that like. Didn't effect him at all. I really and truly beg to disagree.

Not only that: I think Bill felt a kinship with Ford. Ford was ostracized, he was betrayed by the world (and "betrayed" by his brother), he was regarded as a freak for what he was born with, just as Bill was regarded as a freak for his mutation in Euclydia. Bill thought Ford was just like him. Bill thought Ford would understand him, and furthermore would jump at the opportunity to burn the world down with him. And. to his credit. Ford does, in some capacity, understand him. As much as Ford could understand, with Bills lies within lies. Bill craves the intimacy and fears the touch. He uses fear to get Ford to love him, not only because he thinks it will safeguard him from what he fears most, but likely because it is all he knows, all he was taught. Love through fear. Our love is painful, but we only want to help. Pain in love is natural. It's right. It will only hurt a little. This is how you know we love you. He was shocked when Ford rejected him. He thought he did everything right. He had everything planned, for them to be together for eternity.

And bare in mind also that - Bill. Most evidently. Views himself as a monster. When Ford asks about what happened to his dimension, who destroyed it - Bill responds "A monster.", he says "Sixer, it would eat you alive" when Ford offers to help hunt it down. He lets his mask of jovial, mysterious mischief drop just slightly, and we understand just a little bit more of how he feels about the euclidean massacre, how he understands himself through his actions. And what he understands, is that this is just his nature. "I liberated my dimension, Stanford", a lie but not in the way you'd think. He lies, acting like what he did was intentional, as its the only way he could ascribe "reason" to what he did. It couldn't have been an accident. That is just how I am. It wasn't an accident, and I liberated them. (I wish I could go back.) And I come back to the idea of a self fufilling prophecy, because its again- That exactly. Bill decided this was all he could be, he did everything that would make him a "monster" after the accident that caused the euclidean massacre - And so, he was. A sick prognosis that he created and fufilled with his own two hands, he became the monster he and his home dimension envisioned him as.

Abuse is a complicated subject. What Bill did was abuse, yes, but I also distinctly believe it to be a case of abuse between two mentally ill people, one of which is so old, his hate his anger and his regrets, all are ancient and yet so fresh.

I feel another part of the problem is people are taking Bill at face value. Which is exactly what he wants to do because then you dont get at what hes doing all this for and why. You don't get past the exoskeleton to the tender flesh beneath. But stop taking what he says at face value. Read into it more. Analyze the triangle.

Also it might be controversial (hyperbole.) , but I do thing it means /something/ that during Ford's part of the book of bill, where Bill and Ford's relationship is recounted from his perspective, Bill is notably absent, whereas in the rest of the book, he is guiding us through it and constantly maintains a loud presence in it. You could interpret this in a lot of different ways I think, but the way I've chosen to interpret it is as a mix of shame, regret, and an unwillingness to revisit their past together. Perhaps even Bill having enough respect for Ford to not interject his telling of their story together, if you want to get real complicated about it. Paradoxal, if you will.

(Also I find the theraprism to be a most fucked "end" for Bill Cipher due to the medical abuse he experienced as a child. Something something, mad people can never escape the institutions which seek to "fix" them.)

anyway if you read through my mad sleep addled ramblings CONGRATS! i'm probably going to make edits and add to this when I wake up in the morning but i needed to get this out or id forget. billford is abusive but its way more complex than just... abuse. Abuse is a complex subject and it exists on a spectrum, for a lack of better words. and dont twist my words - That isn't saying "this is less bad abuse", this is saying "its complicated and just leaving it at abusive does their relationship a disservice"

[tangents-within-tangents]

Thoughts on Echo as amputee/disability representation

First and foremost, I am not disabled or an amputee and I don’t claim to speak for those communities (and if I was I couldn't speak for everyone). What little I do know mostly comes from this youtube channel (@oakwyrm), this post, and other research I’ve done for my writing (and like one amputee I kinda knew in passing). By all means correct me and add to the conversation, I just have some thoughts I want to share because I haven’t really seen this discussed anywhere

Overview

So Echo is interesting. He is a triple amputee which is pretty rare in media. His disabilities come from extremely traumatic circumstances: injured in a near-death experience, imprisoned and dehumanized as an experiment with no autonomy over what happened to his body.

There are a few moments in the shows where Echo is treated… questionably. Like this bit where Rex uses him as an example of the Separatists' evils to convince the locals to fight back:

To be fair, yeah Echo’s treatment does prove that the Techno Union is not neutral like they claim. The modifications that everyone is gasping in horror at here obviously weren’t made with comfort and accessibility in mind, nor with Echo’s consent. But you still just want to be sure that “They took away his freedom, his humanity, they tried to turn him into a machine” is about using him as a living computer, not the fact that he is missing limbs. 

The Batch is also pretty insensitive toward him and his trauma imo, which is weird considering they've supposedly also faced discrimination for their mutations

Disabled people do have to deal with stuff like this in this day and age so I guess it can speak to those experiences. I think especially him being mistaken as a droid (and Hunter going along with it (bruh)) might resonate with some people. 

Aside from that stuff, Echo isn't really treated any differently as a character/person which is really good (as low of a bar as that is).

We get this moment in CW where Echo contemplates that yeah things are gonna be different now

While also (imo at least) showing that he is still the same person regardless, evidenced by the fact that he just echoed Rex :,) I also think it's significant that he joins the Bad Batch on his own terms and we're given a really emotional scene to specifically show that he's not just like 'lumped in with the other misfits' but that it is his choice to go where he feels his place is.

A lot of people, myself included, are disappointed that TBB didn't have more time to explore Echo's PTSD, but I think the one panic attack scene we did get is really good. Even thought it's minor it at least is an appropriate reaction from a guy who was medically tortured (which is more than I've come to expect from Star Wars shows lol)

And it's really sweet to see Omega showing Echo some empathy and consideration.

It would have been nice to see more of his adjustment period, and other side effects like chronic pain and maintenance, but there’s a lot of daily life stuff the show never had time for (i.e. we don’t know if he removed his prosthetics to sleep, but we also never saw him sleep anyway). His disabilities might take on a background role (much like the character himself sadly) but for the most part they aren’t invisible or erased, nor do they define his character and arc.

Physical Appearance

Okay this one is bit dicey, bc on the one hand, yes complaints that Echo’s paleness (most likely caused by burns from the explosion or chemical burns from the cryo-chamber) is whitewashing are totally valid. But I also think you can draw comparisons to real life conditions that affect pigmentation/complexion (like you know burns). So while I understand why a lot of fanart will depict him with his original skin tone and with hair, consider that there are real people who have to live with temporary or permanent changes to their appearance, and the idea of “fixing" him by making him look more like his old self can be problematic.

It's also interesting to note that Echo could act as a reversal of the 'disabled/disfigured = evil' trope. He's pale and bald and wears black and red, which is so often visually associated with villains, but we all know Echo is the bestest boy™

The Headpiece

Echo’s headpiece is interesting because within the show we don’t actually ever learn much about it (idk if there is more info in books or whatever bc i don’t have them so?). He didn’t have it in CW so we know it didn’t come from the Techno Union and therefore Echo probably had more choice with it. We don’t know its exact purpose but it’s most likely related to his scomping abilities. When he is hacking with his scomp in CW, before he has his headpiece, it’s clearly very mentally straining:

We don’t see him struggling like this in TBB once he does have it (though that could be bc he got more used to it over time). There doesn't seem to be much of an impact when he removes his headpiece in s3 ep14-15, except that he gets stuck in the ports every time he uses his scomp which is not something we’ve seen before: 

There might not be an exact real-world equivalent, but the headpiece is some kind of accessibility aid. It means that someone specifically designed a device to help him adapt to the changes the Techno Union made, as well as a helmet that integrates it. It’s removable and visually very present, much like a cochlear implant would be. (A lot of people actually headcanon it to act partially as a hearing aid, since it makes sense that Echo’s hearing would have been damaged in the explosion, but there isn't really any indication of this in canon.) The headpiece is never really acknowledged in the show, but I think that's a good thing. It's something he needs/wants and it just exists, completely normalized, and that's pretty cool 👍

Legs

Sigh... So from the very first episode of TBB I was really disappointed that the animation team or whoever completely visually erased Echo’s prosthetic legs (I think we all were, honestly, if fanart is anything to go by). It’s one thing when he’s in armor because he would probably want to protect his prosthetics, but we literally see him in his blacks and there is no indication whatsoever that he lost his legs even though it was not left up for debate at all in CW:

Like ??????!?

This is just really strange to me! Idk what went on behind the scenes with this decision but I don’t really see why it would be that much harder to animate or anything since it’s 3D and they've done it before. We do see some pretty sophisticated cybernetic technology in Star Wars canon that mimics real limbs:

But Luke’s fancy hand is technically 20ish years from now, so Anakin and Maul are more of a representation of what level we could expect here

So yeah, for no apparent reason, his leg amputation is effectively, visually and narratively nonexistent. Which is not great 👎

Arm!

The scomp on the other hand (uh lol!) is the complete opposite and I kinda love it!

At first I, like many others, thought it was a bit odd that they didn’t give Echo a prosthetic arm. Losing hands is basically a Star Wars tradition at this point, so robotic arms/hands are well established within the worldbuilding: 

We aren’t necessarily given a canon reason for why Echo doesn't get a cybernetic arm (again unless it's in some lore book I haven’t read, sorry). General fanon explanations I’ve seen are that he either couldn’t because the Techno Union wired the scomp too far into his nervous system, and/or the resources to give him one were deemed too expensive for a clone (what about his legs tho?), or that he chose not to, usually because he thought the scomping was useful. 

Regardless, I actually really love this choice (and it's the whole reason I made this post), because here's the thing: There’s a lot of problematic tropes out there that either erase/cure disabilities or compensate them with perks (like how pretty much any blind character is actually not blind by some sort of magic power). With amputees that is done with robotic arms. The character is still an amputee or course, and there is still value in that representation, if this story from Mark Hamill that makes me tear up is anything to go by:

but for the most part these characters function like anyone else, just with a limb that looks a little different. It’s no more than a video game skin, an able-bodied actor with a green screen glove. It “cures” the disability, or it actually makes the character even stronger than usual: 

It usually makes sense within the world of the story, but the reason it’s not so great in my opinion is that in the real world we just do not have technology anywhere close to that yet. Prosthetics can more or less replace any mobility from lost legs, but not for all the complexities of a hand (and even if they could the average person wouldn’t be able to afford it).

So

I think it's actually really super cool that Echo’s scomp bypasses the canonically-established amputee erasure and functions much like a stump would irl. He integrates it into his movements and everyday life and it’s (as far as I know) a lot closer to an everyday amputee’s experience. 

It doesn’t define his character, it doesn’t hold him back, he lives a full life, the other’s don’t treat him any differently, and he’s still a total karking badass 

The only additional thing is that he sometimes uses it as a weapon (which given his story, I think it’s cool to see him taking back autonomy in a way, and we only see that like twice)

And also the scomping, which could be seen as the 'added/compensating superpower' trope. But narratively it's no different than if he was plugging in with a hacking gadget of some kind (he didn't necessarily "need" to lose his arm for it) and it’s not like Echo is completely defined by this skill. Personally, I think it's well worth the positives of him actually having a visible and realistically impactful amputation. 

I see a lot of posts or comments out there that say stuff like “how come Echo doesn’t get a hand?” or fanworks that do give him one and I just think it’s a bit of a shame. If he did get a robotic hand, it just would have disappeared the same way his legs and Anakin’s arm did (aside from that one time he got yoinked by a magnet). When Echo did “get a hand” in the last two episodes there were comments like “yay he finally got a hand! but it doesn’t even work” but I was actually so relieved that it didn’t! Bc for one thing that wouldn’t make any sense, he grabbed it off a droid, it wasn’t designed to implement with his scomp, that would be really complicated. But more importantly because it again refused to erase/cure his disability! It functioned like a real-world cosmetic prosthetic (useless beyond appearance) which is exactly what he needed it for, so that he could blend in better with his disguise.

And he continually took it off throughout the episode and ditched it at the end. He only used it for the necessity of a stealth mission, he doesn’t feel the need to visually “fit in” in his daily life. 

And, last but very much not least, he made a dad joke and from my intel that is very accurate representation!

TLDR: Echo’s scomp is actually really cool from an amputee representation perspective, especially within Star Wars, and I think that deserves some appreciation 

[animeyanderelover]

S/o from naruto get transported to hunter and she haves powers like tsunade "kite,machi,gon,pokkle

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, stalking, clinginess, protective behavior, manipulation

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @cynniical @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59

Isekaid s/o has powers like Tsunade

Gon Freecss

🎣​When it comes to delivering a good punch Gon and you definitely share some similarities as his Nen ability as well as his main attack he has developed includes him throwing a devastating punch. Gon appears to be all supportive and nice about it when he figures out that part of your abilities align with his own, even offers to train together so that both of you can get even stronger, yet deep down he harbors a resentment that not even he is aware of. He has never been able to view himself as the weaker or inferior person when faced with someone he doesn't agree with and his biggest insecurity is not being strong enough to protect the people he loves. People like you. You are incredibly strong and talented and he knows that but unfortunately Gon is an individual who strives for even more strength simply because subconsciously he still wants to be able to tell himself that he holds more power than you and therefor is at the end of the day your protector. It is a subtly almost condescending in a way though it doesn't necessarily appear that way due to his bright grin and curious nature.

🎣​Gon has keener senses than a normal human being and a sharp perception so if you were to decide to keep your past a secret from him it is likely that he will just feel that there is something important that you are keeping from him. Gon is a curious person and his curiosity has led him to troubles in the past before so you can expect that he won't drop the topic as soon as he has a suspicion that there is something very important that you are keeping from him. He is going to bother you daily and continously about whatever your secret is and he can get weirdly intense in some moments when his patience snaps for a short moment before he returns to his usual self and covers everything up with a grin. That is perhaps why his reaction once you admit to him his truth feels weirdly disappointing as he merely asks you if you could tell him more about the world that you originally came from, wanting to know if all people in your world possessed similar abilities like you. He never even questions you whether or not you would return to your birth world if you could as his delusional mindset keeps him convinced that you are happy with him. You'd better give him no reason to doubt that belief of his...

Pokkle

🏹​Whilst Pokkle is confident in the skills he has he is by no means arrogant enough to believe that he is one of the strongest. The Hunter Exam already made him cross paths with some insane people yet all of them pale in comparison to you. His obsession already leans into a spectrum where he is prone to worship his darling and see them as someone above the common crowd and the abilities you showcase only amplify this tendency. He's never met anyone who can shatter a boulder with one finger before nor has he seen someone so knowledgable and medically talented. He's somewhat terrified yet also absolutely whipped for you due to those abilities and always very cautious and careful that nothing and no one angers you unless they want an earthquake to happen, always seeing it through to please you. Obviously he adores you but your sheer greatness puts him in a spot where he constantly questions his own worth, painfully aware that you don't even need his protection and that it is likely to be the other wax around. Pokkle doesn't want to be a burden to you though as he wants to be helpful to you in any way which is why he turns desperate, willing to recklessly sacrifice his own health to be of use.

🏹​His insecurities and decrease in his own self-confidence only increase once you trust him enough to reveal to him your secret that you are actually not from this world. If all people from your universe were even half as talented as you or maybe even stronger what is he even in your eyes? All he can do is shoot arrows in different colours, a skill which wouldn't even be enough to have you break out in sweat if he were to fight you, something he would obviously never do since he could never bring himself to harm you. Needless to say, the truth does little to boost his own confidence though a small part of him feels honored to know that you think of him as trustworthy enough to tell him the truth. Knowing the truth though also means finding out that you never wanted to be in his world and long to find a way to return to your real home, only causing another bullet to go through his heart as he realises that whilst you like him you don't value him enough to even consider staying in this world if you were to ever find out a way back to your universe. He knows he's nothing compared to you yet it only increases Pokkle's desperation. Deep down he hopes you'll never find a way back, may even tamper with your research.

Machi Komacine

🪡​Whilst Machi may look quite unfazed when she witnesses your powers on display for the first time you actually manage to do something that this world rarely manages to do to her. You impress her though she keeps any shock and surprise largely to herself. She acknowledges and respects where it is due though so she will make a comment about your abilities though she obviously doesn't shower you in compliments to give you an unnecessary ego boost. With her acknowledgement follows a caution though as she realises that you would be a terrifying opponent to have, especially since she assumes that your powers are all based on Nen which would mean that you are a hunter and for that might be a possible enemy of her and the Phantom Troupe if you were to know that she is part of the spiders. She masks all of those thoughts well though as she starts slowly and subtly prying for more information about you, your past, intentions as well as more data an your skills. Super strength and healing may not be the most complex abilities to have but Machi knows that this makes for a very deadly combo in battle, especially with someone as experienced and skilled as you are.

🪡​As sharp and perceptive as ever though she soon notices that something about the story you have told her about her doesn't add up. She has the feeling that you are leaving something very important out, something that she should know and that does stir some distrust awake within her. After all she knows what it's like to hide a secret that no one is supposed to know. Yet when she eventually figures out what it is you have kept quiet about for a short moment not even she is able to hide the shock from flashing across her face as the truth is so far away from what she could have imagined. It sounds like something out of a movie yet when she looks at you she just has a hunch that you are not lying. Machi already made theories of her own and had even started making some plans about how to handle the situation in case one of those theories turned out to be right yet she has to start from scratch since she could have never predicted the truth to be that you were originally from a completely different world.

Kite

🤡​Kite is silently somewhat terrified of your abilities but he masks it well behind his usually stoic personality. He highly respects you for your skills though and he isn't shy about letting you know that. It isn't your strength that fascinates him the most though as he instead shows much more curiosity and admiration for your ability to heal. As someone who has dedicated himself to the discovery of unknown species and has even developed a fondness for animals it is your ability to help humans and animals in pain and distress alike that is one of the many reasons why he finds himself eventually obsessing over you. You appeared lost when he met you for the first time, a feeling he knows quite well, so when he found out about your medical knowledge and abilities he was the one offering you to join his team and research together with him for new animals. He admires how none of your outstanding traits have ever led you to lose compassion or think of yourself as better. He knows well that you can stand your own ground just fine but that doesn't stop his protective nature from still keeping a watchful eye on you.

🤡​Despite his blunt and stern personality Kite is a good observer so it is no surprise that he notices the dwelling melancholy that surrounds you as soon as you are left alone with your thoughts. Whilst he does kow that this is none of his business he can't help but be worried. He doesn't bother you straightaway though and just tries to communicate to you silently that he's there for you and that you aren't alone. He seems to take the eventual truth quite gracefully and calmly but he has always had a good pokerface so perhaps he is just hiding very well what he truly feels. He's as honest and straight to the point as you expect him to be though when he asks you if you know of a way of getting back to your real world to which you answer no only for him to ask you if you would if there would be a way. He doesn't really need you to answer though, he's seen that distant look in your eyes often enough to understand that you miss your home and as much as that hurts him he can't really blame you for that. The good part of him wants to offer you that he and his team could help yet his throat tightens as soon as he tries to speak those words, his obsession bristling with the thought of helping you to leave him.

[babiebom]

When You Fall(ii)

A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed the first chapter, this story is going to be angst filled, at least for the first several chapters. 

Previous Next Masterlist

TW: depression, talks of self harm, clinics

WC:2.9k

The smell of bleach burns your nose before you fully come to. Your vision is hazy around the edges, eyes burning due to the bright lights above you. You flutter your eyelashes, sitting up quickly, ignoring the pain in your limbs. 

There are other beds around you, all empty and neatly made up. You breathe in deeply through your mouth, unable to call out like you want to, the burning sensation in your throat making any sound hurts it. 

You hear the soft squeaking of hinges, only able to see the corner of a door swinging open. A man appears from the doorway, his eyes warm and lips covered by the bushy mustache that sat below his nose. You stared with your mouth agape, the scene somewhat reminding you of that one scene in a vampire movie you hadn't seen in a while. 

Though, the man was obviously human, face slightly red near his cheeks as if he wasn't expecting you to be awake yet. "Farmer! You're awake! I'm glad. His smile sent butterflies in your stomach, and the fact that he was in a doctor's coat made your decisions seem extra stupid, because now you look like a fool in front of who you assume is town doctor, though it being a small town he's probably not even a real one.

"Yeah…what happened?" You hoped if you feigned confusion that it would seem like one big accident, you were farming for the very first time after all.

"Someone found you passed out on your farm."

"Someone did?" You wonder what anyone could've been doing on your farm, but then again these were country folk who probably stopped by to introduce themselves and scope you out. 

"Yeah, and I have to say you're very lucky she-" he coughs to cover up his mistake, "-they did. If they had found you any later you might've not made it." His kind eyes held some disappointment and worry in them.

You grimace in your seat, swinging your legs over the edge, the need to escape flooding your senses. "I'll be more careful, promise."

"Good," the man sucks in a breath, now looking elsewhere as he begins to back out of the room. "I'm going to send in the nurse with medicine to help you heal quicker."

You nod, letting your feet dangle above the ground, attempting to shoot the man a smile. As soon as he exited the room, you let your shoulders fall, exhausted from...well exhausting yourself. It was as if the choice you made was purposefully making itself worse than it normally would've been. As if it was making a point against you doing something stupid again, though you know you would still self sabotage again. Forcing yourself to pass out didn't really help anything, if anything it made you feel even shittier. You could feel the gazes of your now deceased family members on your head, all looking at you in disappointment and worry. 

As soon as you began to drown in your thoughts, the door swung open again, less gently than last time, almost smacking the wall behind it. Taken aback, you wonder how this person became a nurse, and the second you see her the thought is only amplified. 

The woman that enters is pretty, but more in a soft and unassuming kind of way, like you had to be seeing her for her beauty to reveal itself. She's also very young, she looks as if she's your age or even younger. Definitely not old enough to have a degree in the medical field, at least with how long you're assuming a nursing degree takes. 

She bites her lip and frowns, looking back at the door before entering the rest of the way. She clears her throat, shuffling over to you silently. "So, um, Doctor Harvey is prescribing you some Tylenol and an energy tonic. We have both here so you won't need to buy them, he's giving you them for free this time."

You nod, relieved that the medicine was free and you wouldn't have to pay for it. You lost your medical insurance after quitting the Joja job. Taking the medicine from her hands, you immediately down the energy tonic, the taste slightly sour on your tongue. Immediately you feel rejuvenated, your body returning to a state that you hadn't felt in years. You roll your shoulders back, blinking rapidly to get used to the feeling of being perfectly rested. You still felt shitty emotionally, but at least that wasn't bogged down by being half dead from working and not getting enough sleep.

"Wow, ok." You speak in surprise, the woman smiles brightly at you, unsurprised. 

"Yeah! Works pretty well huh?"  

"Totally," you slide off of the bed, not even stumbling. That tonic makes you feel as good as new, and you fight the urge to buy a million to keep in your house. 

She rocks on her heels, looking around before her eyes settle on you. She looked so giddy, as if she had been waiting to say something. "If you ever feel tired or like passing out again don't hesitate to stop by!" Her eyes look like mini crescent moons as she smiles at you, lighting up the room. 

"Will do." She leads you out of the room and towards what you assume is the lobby. 

"I'm Maru, by the way," she turns to look at you as she begins to talk, you nod in response, "I've been looking forward to meeting you," you can almost see the excitement roll off of her in waves, "you know, with a small town like this, a new face can really alter the community dynamic. It's exciting!" 

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, now embarrassed that this is her first impression of you. Grimace at her, trying to come up with something to say to make the situation less awkward on your end. "Some impression huh?"

She shrugs, still looking at you warmly. You both stop right before the doors where you now know the lobby is, being able to see through the small window on the door. "I mean, you're grieving. I think it's to be expected of someone that's lost so much in so little time. Along with moving, it's no surprise that you ran out of steam."

"You know about…" you can't even bring up the deaths without getting choked up. Maru looks shocked and horrified at the situation, her face contorting in surprise.

"I- oh god, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have brought it up. It was insensitive of me. Crap." She bites her lip awkwardly and now hurries to get you through the doors. You want to ask again how'd she know, so that's exactly what you do. Ask again, but also skirt around certain words. Did everyone know?

"Um, well," she closes her eyes, breathing out, "I mean, everyone knows. Your grandfather was loved here, and when he…everyone was sad. Then the um, graves popped up and we put two and two together…I'm super sorry if I hurt your feelings or anything. I swear it wasn't my intention."

You shake your head, now preoccupied with the thought of everyone knowing, whispering, talking about your parents and grandfather, about you before you even had the chance to meet them all. You wonder why Maru even wanted to meet you. Was it pity? Pure curiosity? Did everyone pity you? Did everyone want to meet you in ways that were similar to meeting a baby lion or something at the zoo? As if you were a stray dog on the verge of being put down at a kennel? 

Wrapped up in your thoughts, you finally leave the clinic, going by distant memories to get back home. There was no need to sleep now, though with the storm inside of your head the mental exhaustion had come back. Within those thoughts, you wondered how long it was until they all went away.

As soon as you got home you had to leave.

You had gotten a letter, from someone named Willy, down at the beach. So, instead of pushing yourself to the brink of death again you decide to meet him, doubting anyone in the valley could be dangerous. There were only so many people that lived here to begin with, and even if he did turn out to be dangerous or deranged, you doubted that at this moment you would put up any sort of fight. 

The walk was long, about 30 minutes from your farm to the entrance of the beach, your breaths were coming out in puffs, your chest heaving. You would need to exercise more if you were to do this often enough to make any money. Sitting at a desk all day made your stamina nonexistent, and you regretted not visiting more often in your older years. Maybe if you did you would be less tired. 

As soon as you saw the fish shop you sighed with relief, sweat had begun forming a thin sheet over your body. Your steps picked up as you approached the building that looked as old as your farmhouse, the salty smell of the ocean assaulting your nose. The sun was high overhead now, beaming directly down onto the sea making the world around you brighter. 

Hurrying, you almost head straight to the doors, wanting to escape the sun; but instead you see a man at the edge of the pier, a patchy brown hat on top of messy brown hair. He was smoking silently, eyes focused on the water below. The sound of your footsteps seemed louder than normal in your ears, the thuds echoed around you disturbing the serenity of the beach. The man turns when he hears you, tired eyes searching yours for a second before he speaks.

"Ahoy there. Heard there was a newcomer in town…good to finally meet ya." The man sounds like a stereotypical fisherman, maybe a little like a pirate. He puts out his pipe after puffing it once more, blowing the smoke away from the both of you. He rolls his shoulders, a small grimace settling over his face.

"Ah…I'm still tryin' to unwind from a month out on the salty seas… it was a big haul! I sold a lot of good fish. Finally saved enough to buy me a new rod." He smiles softly. 

"That's good…" you don't know how to respond, so you say what first came to your mind, wanting to not make the conversation stale, though you think your attempt didn't help at all. Willy moves closer to you, away from the edge of the pier. 

"Here," he hands you a fishing rod, the gift unfamiliar in your hands, "I want you to have my old fishing rod. It's important to me that the art o' fishing stays alive. And hey, maybe you'll buy somethin' from the shop once in a while."

You nod, inspecting the rod, tears kissing the corner of your eyes. It was kind of him to give you a rod for free, you didn't know how much they cost, but even an old one like this had to be expensive. "There's a good water here in the valley. All kinds o' fish."

"Thank you…I don't know how to repay you or…?"

The man shakes his head, waving you off. When you get in front of the doors to his shop, he calls out to you again. "Oh yeah. My shops back open now, so come by if you need supplies. I'll also buy anything you catch. 'If it smells, it sells'."

You can see how brightly his eyes shine when he laughs from where you are. It makes your heart ache, he was so much like a grandfather in his actions that it made you somewhat sad. "That's what my ol' Pappy used to say anyway."

You smile at him before nodding and taking off towards the beach again, ready to flop into your still unslept in bed. 

The walk home was faster, mostly because you avoided everyone and sped through the town. You could feel them looking at you, as if you were something to gawk at. And to them, you supposed you were. A fresh face in a stagnant town that rarely got new people that were staying for the long haul, a visitor that was passing through or two, but never a new resident. By the time you got home, mostly due to your dodging, your chest felt heavy and your lungs burned. You sucked in breaths as you closed the gate and walked up to your cottage. 

Now that you were inside, and not in a self sabotaging mood, you took the time to really look around. The place was practically empty, no kitchen, no living room, no bathroom. All there was was an ancient television and a twin sized bed pushed into a corner along with dusty decorations. You groaned, running a hand down your face, so this is what Robin meant when she was saying your home needed an upgrade. You now understood what she meant by crusty. 

It was a surprise your grandfather had survived as long as he did living here, what did he do to eat? How'd he take showers or poop or just live in general. Turning on the tv, you frown when you notice only a handful of channels on the tv, some of them only showing static when you switched to it. Laughing in disbelief, you turn away from the stupid thing. It was going to take a long time to get used to this.

In the middle of the room, you spot a box you had ignored before, the thing wrapped up half heartedly as a gift. Taking off the top and looking inside, you spot a small bag of seeds. There was a short letter from Lewis attached to the bag, saying it was a gift for you to get started with your farming. Obviously, you need to be able to grow a plant and care for animals to be a farmer. Sighing, you trudge outside, dragging your tools behind you. You had to do this at least, before you went to sleep for the next couple of hours. 

The farm was still messy, and over exerting yourself the day before just set you back. So, pulling your pants up and adjusting yourself, you get to work to catch up for missed time. 

Pulling weeds, cutting down trees, and smacking rocks with your pickaxe seemed to make you feel better, as if you were beating something up. Maybe a little violent, but it was helping nonetheless. Sweat drips down your forehead, thinking back to your childhood your grandfather and grandmother made this seem easier than it actually was. Even just planting the parsnips took more energy than you thought it would. 

By the time you had finished, your back ached and your stomach was growling. Raising your wrist to look at the time, you wonder if 12 was too early to go to bed. Your thoughts swirl around your head, trying to justify if you went to rest now. You tried telling yourself that you would only nap, then it devolved into thinking you could sleep for the rest of the day and all night until you had to get up in the morning; it was most likely unrealistic but the ache in your back told you to go ahead and do whatever as long as you got to sleep. 

You drag yourself inside after making sure your crops are watered, your stomach still growling loudly. Opening a suitcase, you sigh with relief that past you decided that packing your snacks and some things from your pantry was a good idea. You eat some peanut butter on crackers and take a long swig from a water bottle, throwing yourself on your bed after making sure your mess was cleaned and the rest of your crackers and peanut butter were sealed back in your suitcase. 

As you lie there, you inspect your skin. You had already begun to tan by staying out in the sun all day, and you wondered just how hot the summer was going to be if you were already dying in the sun. Maybe the clinic had some sunscreen, you had already met Maru, and doctor Harvey so going back wasn't as bad as going to the grocery store in town.

You made a mental list of all the tasks you needed to do, hoping you could put off talking to people for a little longer. All they would probably do is talk about your grandfather or look at you with pity and curiosity the entirety of your conversation. 

As you adjusted yourself to try and sleep, you imagined yourself back in your apartment in Zuzu City. You imagined life hadn't changed and you were living your old life, but in your imagination you were a much better child and grandchild than you had been in real life. You visited and were bubbly and cheery just as you were as a kid. As your eyes flutter closed, and you begin to drift off to sleep you can feel fresh, hot tears rolling down your cheeks regret settling in your chest as you begin the transition between your active daydreams to whatever dream you would have while you were sleeping. 

In the back of your mind, you just hoped the dream wouldn't be nightmares instead.

[mymoodwriting]

Disconnected

Omega!Reader x Werewolf!NCT

Genre: A/B/O

Warning: Kidnapping, Imprisonment, Manipulation, Medication, Physical Violence, Yelling, Minor-Self Harm, Blood, Magic

Words: 3.8K

Chapter Six

(Prev//Next) (@peanutpinet @starillusion13)

Prompt: By removing the weakest link, werewolves were able to grow far more powerful than anyone could ever imagine. They lived in peace knowing they were top of the food chain. That is until a certain pack made an unbelievable discovery, causing them to question their past, present, and future. Omegas aren’t supposed to exist anymore, but they couldn’t deny the fact they had found one.

“Hm… where am I…?”

As you regained consciousness your senses started coming back to you. The room you were in was unfamiliar, but then your eyes landed on the body at your side. You screamed and fell off the bed. Memories started coming back to you and you reached up to your shoulder, feeling the bite mark that lingered. 

“… you’re awake…” Yuta peeked his sleepy head over the side of the bed. “Are you okay?”

For a moment you were still in shock, but as everything began to settle in you grew upset. You started screaming at Yuta, which certainly woke him up.

“What is wrong with you!? How could you just bite me!”

You managed to get on your feet and Yuta also sat up. He was clearly still out of it, but trying to figure out how to respond.

“I… I’m sorry… I just didn’t… didn’t want to lose you and…”

“That wasn’t something you get to decide! You fucken bit me! It hurts!!!”

All the screaming had drawn attention, and next thing you knew the door opened and some of the others came in, asking what was going on. You weren’t gonna stick around to provide answers. You saw an opening and you were in good condition, so you decided to run. You quickly shifted and slipped past everyone out the door. There was no time to second guess so you kept moving until you found an exit. You found yourself surrounded by trees, which could provide you with good cover. Although you suddenly came to a stop as you hit something and tumbled back.

You swiftly rolled and got back on your feet, looking around to see what happened but there was nothing in your way. You tried to run again only to hit a wall, literally. You moved cautiously and soon realized there was an invisible wall before you. Just as you were about to try and find some sort of work around you heard the others step outside. They were slowly surrounding you, forcing your back against the wall. You stood your ground and growled back at them, wanting a reason to fight. They obviously didn’t want that, and had to be careful in their movements. The last thing they wanted to do was hurt you.

“Listen, Taeyong put up a barrier around the house.” Kun explained. “You can’t leave, and the witches can’t track you either, or any of us for that matter.”

You knew that was true, you’d seen barriers get put up before, and understood the magic behind it. The only person who could remove them would be the spell caster, or someone with powerful magic. You shifted back to your human form, but remained ready to attack.

“Where’s Taeyong?”

“He’s resting. I’m sure you know casting such a spell can be very draining on someone who’s not a witch.”

“Take me to him.”

“Y/n, he-”

“Now!”

You weren’t asking, you were demanding, and that was clear to all of them. Kun agreed, so he along with Yuta and Doyoung escorted you back into the house. They took you to one of the rooms upstairs, knocking at the door and being allowed in when Johnny permitted them entry. When you walked in you were a bit taken aback. Taeyong was lying in bed, and he looked quite ill. He was missing a bit of color, and his breathing seemed labored as well. For a moment you felt bad, but then you remembered your own situation. Taeyong appeared to be sleeping but that wasn’t going to stop you. While everyone was distracted you went over and slammed your fist down on Taeyong’s chest, jolting him awake. The others quickly acted and pulled you back. You fought them off as you yelled out your grievances.

“You’re no better than your ancestors! This stupid obsession with omegas turns to hatred, and then senseless slaughter! Why don’t you just kill me now and be done with it! You’re no different than the monsters who murdered their own kind!!!”

You got yourself free and stormed out of the room, not giving Taeyong a chance to speak. You made your way back outside and shifted to your wolf form, walking along the barrier’s edge. There was no way out, and you already knew that. You weren’t going to give them any sort of attention, so you found a spot outside and curled up. Since you were their prisoner you’d act like one and just keep quiet and away from them. Maybe you could think of something and get out of here sooner rather than later.

♥♥♥♥♥

Taeyong was certainly startled by the way he was woken up. His whole body ached, but he still cared more for you. He could tell you were upset by the way your voice cracked, and the tears that stung your eyes. He was fortunate you had stormed out after yelling since he had no way of responding to you. Kun looked him over once more, making sure he was still healing. The others apologized for bringing you over as they didn’t know you’d do that. In the end he was fine, so he didn’t care. If anything he was glad to know you were awake and on your feet.

“What do we do next?” Doyoung asked. “We’re all here but…”

“How is she, Yuta?” Taeyong asked. “Since you’re bonded.”

“She’s hurting, and scared, and depressed. We took her from her home, her actual home, so she’s certainly not happy with any of us.”

“I know… but she’s still a member of our pack, and we’ll treat her as such. So no one better mention her attacking me, I already forgave her for it.”

“She’s sulking outside right now.” Johnny added. “Are we just going to leave her there?”

“She’ll come around, just give her time.”

That message was relayed to everyone, so all they could do was look after you. They watched you from inside the house, making sure you were still there, although you couldn’t really leave. Someone would go out and leave you food and water, but you barely touched anything. You remained as a wolf curled up out there all day and all night. Yuta was the one constantly staring out the window. He could feel your pain, and wanted nothing more than to soothe it, but he knew he was the last person you wanted around. The best he could do was watch over you from a distance and make sure nothing happened to you.

The thing was that you could feel Yuta’s stare, and his heart. On occasion you’d see him watching you, but you ignored it and kept your gaze out into the forest you couldn’t reach. Still, you knew he was hurting for you. He wanted to take care of you and make everything okay and those emotions of his were a bit overwhelming. A few times you felt the tears, but you forced them away. He forced this bond on you, and you weren’t just going to give into it, to him, to all of them, cause he felt bad.

The guys also had to keep an eye on Yuta since he wasn’t eating much either. He was like your guardian angel, and through the bond they knew he was more or less on the same level with you. For the most part things were fine during the day, but at night was when they got worried. The weather outside was decent, but once the sun went down it did tend to get cold. Since you remained a wolf you had your fur to keep you warm, but it wasn’t enough for Yuta. This particular night seemed cold, and he could tell you were shivering out there. He didn’t tell anyone what he was doing and merely went outside, shifting into a wolf himself. He knew getting you inside was highly unlikely, so he could do the next best thing. You were already asleep, so he just curled up close to you, hoping to keep you warm through the night.

♥♥♥♥♥

You whined as you began to wake up, feeling warm. It wasn’t entirely new to you to be sleeping outside. You did so back with the coven, but that was usually for naps in the sun. It was cold at night, but it wasn’t too bad. You had gotten used to it, but this time around you slept rather well. As you got up you realized you weren’t alone. You jumped up and moved away, growling at the wolf at your side. They quickly shifted, and you should have known who it was right away.

“I’m sorry. I just hate seeing you alone out here, especially at night.”

You could tell Yuta meant what he said, but you didn’t want to focus on that. You shifted as well and met his gaze, staring him down.

“The bite mark doesn’t mean anything!”

“That’s a lie!”

Two wolves sleeping outside would have been noticed in the morning, and seeing a fight break out prompted others to interfere. Xiaojun was the first one out, and he had overheard your conversation.

“When we first brought you here you were sick with a fever for days. You didn’t get any better at all until Yuta stayed by your side. The bite took, you’re bonded, and even if you want to fight it and deny it, it’s real, and you’re part of our pack because of it too.”

“You’re just talking nonsense.”

“Believe what you want, but it’s about time you come inside. You’re gonna wind up seriously sick if you keep staying out here and skipping meals.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Yuta stated. “I can tell you basically have a cold, and I’ve had enough of you pouting. You’re coming inside.”

You didn’t really get to protest as Yuta grabbed your arm and dragged you inside the house. You probably could have fought him off and held your ground, but you were already feeling a bit sick, so you let him take you inside. He took you to the kitchen and had you sit at the table while he got you some meds. You didn’t object and took them with water.

“Good girl.” Yuta pet your head. “How about you rest in an actual bed this time.”

“Whatever.”

“Come on then.”

Yuta took your hand and led you to one of the rooms upstairs. It wasn’t the one you had woken up in before, but it was clean with fresh sheets. You didn’t say anything but Yuta left you alone to rest. You thought about getting into the bed, but you had been sleeping on the cold floor for a few days, so a soft mattress wasn’t going to be comfortable. Instead you grabbed the blanket off the bed and laid it on the floor. You shifted and curled up, glad to sleep on something comfortable. Without realizing it you had fallen asleep, only to wake when you heard a knock at the door. Yuta poked his head in, smiling when he saw you curled up on the ground.

“You need to eat.”

You had barely lifted your head when Yuta came inside. He sat down next to you and set down a tray with food. He grabbed the utensils and held them out to you, wanting to feed you, but that was a step too far. You shifted back and moved away.

“I’m not some child, and just cause I’m in the house it doesn’t mean we’re on good terms.”

You felt the sting your words caused Yuta, feeling a bit bad for being so cruel, but you weren’t exactly in a state to apologize. Yuta’s smile dropped and he put down the utensils.

“Uh, the guys made dinner, and I figured you’d be hungry… also best not to have meds on an empty stomach.”

“Right… thanks…”

You pulled the tray closer to you and ate. You weren’t that hungry, but you ate a good amount so Yuta wouldn’t be disappointed. He did his best to hide his smile from you, but you could feel it.

“I’m gonna wash up then come back to bed.”

“Come back? Is this your room?”

“Yes.”

“Oh… why-”

“I didn’t want you to sleep alone anymore. I’m also not gonna let you sneak off outside again.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll be quiet when I get back, so you can sleep.”

Yuta retreated with the food tray, leaving you alone once more. His scent lingered, and you realized you picked up on it rather easily. You could feel his happiness, but you didn’t want to let it consume you. It was easy to fall back asleep on a full stomach with a warm bed, and you didn’t know when Yuta had returned at all. When you did wake up the sunlight was peeking in through the blinds. It was nice to wake up in comfort, and you quickly realized why. Yuta was curled up next to you in his wolf form, fast asleep. You didn’t freak out this time, instead feeling a bit of joy, and finding him rather cute. You gently leaned over and nuzzled his side.

Seeing Yuta like this made you happy, but then you realized why. In this moment he reminded you of your friends, of Jun and Seokmin, and the countless times you have laid down to rest together. Tears began to blur your vision, and you began to cry softly. That’s what wound up waking Yuta, and he quickly shifted back. He knew you were hurting, but he wasn’t sure why at the moment. So for now he pulled you close and pet you softly, telling you everything was going to be okay. You don’t know for how long you cried, but eventually the tears dried up.

“Are you up for breakfast?”

You didn’t answer, but Yuta knew what your response was anyway. He had no problem carrying you down to the breakfast table. You didn’t have to shift, but you didn’t want to stay as a wolf on the floor. You took a seat next to Yuta and let him serve you. The others were happy to see you at the table, but you weren’t up for conversation. You quietly ate and let them talk among themselves when you suddenly felt a hand on your head. You looked back to see Taeyong smiling down at you.

“I’m glad to see you here with us.”

“… you’re looking better…”

“I feel better, but I’m not back to my old self just yet. What about you? I heard you were on the brink of catching a cold.”

“I’m fine…”

“That’s good to hear.”

Now that you were back in the house, you couldn’t just storm off again and pout. You hadn’t really come up with anything while you were out there either. Taeyong had done the spell, and you weren’t sure if he’d take it down, even if you behaved. Even if you were to try some sort of counterspell, you didn’t have the power for that. Seungcheol hadn’t really taught you magic, so you were on your own. Even if everyone in the house was nice, you still missed home. They were surely looking for you, and you had no idea how they’d take the news of your kidnapping. The whole situation was ridiculous, and you didn’t want anyone getting hurt because of it.

Things in the house began to feel like deja vu. You’d play games with the other boys, or lounge around and watch TV. It felt like before, when you thought you had no home to return to. This place was like home, and you felt that truth from Yuta. His joy was so contagious it was hard not to smile and go along with everyone. You did things with them you hadn’t done before with your friends, and many of the time the boys told you it was normal for packs to do that. Even though you didn’t talk much with them, that didn’t deter them from engaging with you. The only downside was that you couldn’t run around freely, none of you could.

“And… start!”

Some of the funner things to do was mess around with each other, so a game of tug of war was in order. You were on a team with Ten, Xiaojun, Hendery and YangYang, while you were competing against Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung. Your team won by a hair and you collapsed on top of Hendery.

“Good job.”

“Oh please, you guys did all the work.”

“You’re strong too, don’t forget that.”

“I want a rematch!” Jisung pounced on top of you. “And you’re gonna be on my team this time.”

“No, we already called dibs.” YangYang countered. “You can get some of the other hyungs to play, but y/n stays with us.”

There was laughter and smiles all around. Everyone just seemed so close to each other, and you did want to be close to them. Yuta had been inside working on lunch, but you could tell he had been peeking over. Your joy would be felt by him, and he’d feel happy because of it, and you’d feel that too, so it all just looped around. You liked things this way, but you missed home as well. More than anything now you wanted to figure out a way to make all of this work, to keep both sides with you, but you weren’t sure that was possible. You didn’t think about it often, but fear lingered in the back of your mind. 

Magic wasn’t protecting you, which meant you could go into heat. You’d be vulnerable to all of them, and when it got down to instincts you feared getting hurt. Growing up you had been told about werewolf history, what they did and why, so even if you were seeing the best of them with your own eyes, it didn’t change what you had been taught. If things could stay this way perhaps you’d want them to, but you couldn’t stay in this delusion for so long. You needed to talk to Taeyong and the others, properly talk about everything. Just pretending wasn’t good for you, or for anyone.

“What exactly was your plan with bringing me here?”

Taeyong had agreed to your request to talk, and he understood the subject matter you wanted to talk about. This wasn’t to be a private discussion since some of the others didn’t have answers either.

“We needed more time.” Ten began. “The witches were going to send us home and wipe our memories, your memories too, so things could go back to the way they were.”

“They were gonna make me forget you?”

“We were gonna forget everything about each other. That seemed extreme, and Suho was considering it. That’s why we had to run somewhere else, and to bring you along.”

“It’s been days now, you know they’re looking for me, and I doubt they’re gonna be happy.”

“We know.” Jaehyun added. “Although we’re not so sure what our options are. Your coven is after us, and I’m certain our pack is as well. So hiding is our best bet.”

“You can’t hide forever.”

“Are you gonna leave us?” Sungchan asked.

“I… I don’t want to, but I do miss my home too.”

“You still have a choice here.” Taeyong stated.

“Well, you kinda messed with that.” Your hand instinctively reached up to your bite mark, eyes looking at Yuta. “I don’t know if I could do anything to help.”

“Can’t we just stay like this?” Haechan wondered. “We have everything we need here, and each other.”

“The magic I used isn’t that strong.” Taeyong reminded. “I’m honestly surprised we’ve lasted this long. I am still sorry about what happened, y/n. Despite your wishes we all feel this need to keep you close and protect you. Although I’m scared things could go bad at any moment.”

“I know what you mean… I can feel how much you care, all of you, through Yuta, but the peace within a pack like this didn’t last the test of time.”

“Perhaps we should speak with the elders again.” Sicheng suggested. “With y/n present this time. If she’s meant to be an equal in our pack, she should be able to speak for herself and her choices.”

“The problem is will the elders listen to us again.” Kun said. “You guys didn’t do so well the first time.”

“Why not ask for help?” Jaemin mentioned. “There’s gotta be someone powerful who’d be willing to help us.”

“Help us with what?” Jungwoo wondered. “To hide us?”

“It was magic that took omegas away from us, can’t magic fix it?”

“It would require powerful magic.” Jeno admitted. “The witches also said it wouldn’t just work for us. Omegas in general would return to packs, and not everyone might be on board with that.”

“We don’t know that.” Renjun added. “What if we just told everyone about this…”

“You’re suggesting a possible war.” Doyoung countered. “We’ve had peace with witches for generations, to reveal the existence of omegas… how do we know the majority won’t just slaughter them all for good this time?”

“Cause we don’t want her dead, we want her here with us, surely others do too.”

“What you’re suggesting is risky. Not to mention all the other omegas don’t even know what they really are.”

“We do need to start considering some actual options.” Johnny stated. “The witches are bound to find us soon.”

“Maybe they’re not looking for us.” Shotaro mentioned. “They know we’re serious about keeping y/n in our pack.”

“You forget who my master is.” You added. “And the coven probably isn’t happy with what we did either…”

“Let’s take a moment and regroup tomorrow.” Taeyong suggested. “We all need some time to think.”

No one argued with that. The situation affected everyone, so it was best to think things through before making any kind of decision as a pack. Yuta was certainly worried about losing you, but it was your turn to assure him things would work out. It was a little difficult to sleep, but Yuta managed, for a while at least. He jolted awake in the middle of the night, figuring it was nerves and stress, but he quickly noticed you weren’t with him. He thought you might have gotten up to get some water, but something felt off. He quietly stepped out into the hall, calling your name, but he got no response. Yuta went down to the kitchen, but he didn’t find you there either. Although he did pick up on your scent. He wound up following that out the door, and then he caught a whiff of something else, blood.

“Y/N!”

Yuta frantically looked around for you, and when he saw you sitting down on the floor he rushed over. He grabbed your shoulders, wondering what was wrong, but he didn’t need to ask. Your claws were out and there was blood everywhere. Strange symbols were drawn on the ground with your blood, and your eyes were completely black.

“… y/n…”

“You’re so dead for this.”

[sailorgundam308]

how is karlach coded as a person of color? genuine question

In terms of character design and representation: she has southeast Asian, even pacific islander (depending on the area ofc) features. Does that mean there are “asians” or “Europeans” in Toril? No. But visual representation of real groups is huge for people’s self validation. That said, southeast Asian peoples are a wide and varied group but they stand in contrast to the “white Asia” of Korea and Japan (and China to some extent), for example. The “white” Asia is rich, desirable, stylish, culturally relevant in the global stage - and their skin is whiter, to top it off. On the other hand, SEA is seen (not only in the west but ESPECIALLY in these rich Asian countries) as poor, underdeveloped, inconsequential - and darker skinned. No surprised there.

In Asia you might not have the concept of White as in White US Americans, because whiteness is a social construct that will change depending on the location and cultural/historical context. What US people understand as white and poc might differ from what other people in other countries understand it as. Still, in East Asia being literally lighter skinned is the desired beauty ideal and brings with it all the highly privileged misconceptions of “if you’re light skinned, you’re richer, more educated, more well behaved, more beautiful” and so on. SEA peoples have, in general, darker skin tones - therefore, they miss (to say the least) on these “advantageous pre-conceptions”. Also, even within certain SEA countries, being lighter than another is a desirable thing. There is an entire beauty industry here based on “whitening”. Literally making your skin look whiter, because that is more “beautiful and cleaner”. (In Japan, the amount of things you can get to cover your skin from the sun is not due to any cancer concerns, I guarantee you.)

Karlach, having features reminiscent to some SEA people, puts her in this dynamic. Not because this dynamic exists inside the BG3 world, but because the people with whom her character design (her face design at least) resonates are those same people who are seen as less than due to their geographic location and tone of their skin.

I also am under the impression that in some countries, Asian people are also commonly included in the “poc” umbrella, though I cannot be sure where this is true and even if that depends on “what Asia” you are from.

If you get into Forgotten Realms, and Toril lore, things get even more layered, because Karlach is a tiefling. And tieflings are discriminated against for their appearance - something that comes from their heritage and they have no control over. Tieflings are plane touched people, meaning their ascendancy is made of humans mixed with devils/cambions. Is basically because their blood has some devil blood in it that the “devil like” features like horns, tails, claws etc appear. Unlike the aasimar (who are the same but mixed with divine blood) who are accepted and seen as beautiful, the tieflings are discriminated against by most if not all populations in Toril. They are outcasts, often having to settle in marginalized/unfit areas and form their own communities due to the unwillingness of others to interact with them. There is something to be said about how the comments of “devil” towards a tiefling and some religions’ interpretation of indigenous peoples (or even black people) as being cursed or in cohorts with the devil. Aka, this shit is problematic.

You can have an insight on how bad this was in Baldur’s Gate city by a story Karlach tells. She says her mother died of an illness that would have been easily cured if treated early. But mom cliffgate was refused medical care because no physician in the city wanted to visit and help a tiefling family in the outer city. By the time one accepted to go and help, it was too late. The disease had advanced and could not be cured, and so Karlach’s mom died prematurely. I guess that illustrates very obviously the degree to which tieflings are marginalized and discriminated against in Toril. If that is not an analogy to the struggle of peoples of color in a generalized manner, I don’t know what is.

[stuckinapril]

i think you said somewhere you volunteer - do you have any tips on how to start doing that? ive been wanting to start both to help people out myself and to push my social boundaries but i get stuck in my head before i even get in the door somehow. do you have any tips lol? i think im overthinking this...

Hey no worries, I really like that you’re genuinely interested and trying to gather resources. I actually have some thoughts I’d like to share on this:

There are two types of volunteering: long-form volunteering and short-form volunteering. Short-term volunteering looks like participating in the occasional phone bank, helping raise donations every now and then, attending a food drive on a blue moon. Long-form volunteering is typically something like volunteering at a place on at least a weekly basis. A lot of the time that requires that the place actually train you so you’re of use to them. Before you look up places to volunteer, consider which type of volunteering suits your schedule the most. I do both, but I understand how not everyone’s workload can accommodate that.

When it comes to long-term volunteering, understand that just because it’s not paid work doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously. You can’t do frequent callouts or blow off tasks because they’re not paying you to be there. A lot of the places that do social justice work—providing free food and medical care to homeless people, providing services to refugees—unfortunately do not have the necessary funding to support a whole lot of employees most times. Whatever your time commitment looks like, it remains a time commitment that needs to be honored regardless of pay.

With that said, it really is best to find something you’re actually passionate about, not something that you’re doing for the brownie points. One way to do that is to work towards a cause you have a personal connection to. For example, I volunteer weekly at a refugee center for middle eastern refugees. I also participate in a plethora of events with a view to assist Palestine in whatever ways I could. Because I’m an Arab girl, one w Iraqi heritage (also a war-torn Arab country), obviously all these things will be of personal importance to me. It’s easy for me to be incentivized to care about them, because I have this preordained connection to them. Personal connection makes it that much easier to be passionate about a cause.

But it’s equally important to mention that relatability isn’t the only way to care, nor should it be. I also volunteer at a clinic that provides service to homeless people weekly. I’m not homeless. I still care. I volunteer at my city’s Alzheimer’s research center. I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I still care. We don’t have to only associate ourselves with people we personally relate to. In fact, and this goes for life in general, you really should seek to befriend, interact with, and be curious about people who’re not like you. You should find their experiences intriguing: a window into another perspective you perhaps hadn’t thought of before. You should not always be surrounding yourself with an echo chamber of yesmen and homogeneity. Be curious about people who’re not like you. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And then learn to care about them.

It’s okay to frame volunteering as a way to benefit you too. It’s not a one-way street. There’s nothing more fulfilling than devoting yourself to something that’s solely rooted in your humanity. Not in the desire to be paid, not in the desire for acclaim, but simply in the desire to help. It makes you feel better. It boosts your self-confidence. It helps you form long-lasting connections with other people who’re also doing it out of the sheer kindness of their heart; out of the fact that they find it in themselves to care. And it reminds you of what really matters.

The biggest mistake is overwhelming yourself w 82727 resources and 72627 organizations. Start with something simple and stick with it, then go from there if you have the time to get more involved. A lot of the places that need volunteers would be happy with as little as one day a week, so long as you’re consistent about it.

It’s okay if you don’t have the time for long-form volunteering. Volunteering every now and then at one-and-done events still makes a huge difference. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it has to either be this grand commitment or nothing. Please don’t think that way; organizations know life could be busy, and they’re happy to have you even if it’s only for the occasional event. Just make sure you’re doing something if you can.

[malwaredykes]

one of the effects of Being Shot In The Head that took leigh a hot minute to realize is that she found herself pretty much unable to experience proper emotions. though she cant remember her old self very well, she thinks she used to be able to feel things like anger, joy, grief, terror. now she cant even imagine what those things felt like, and cant for the life of her describe them using her own words. its like being told to imagine&describe being unconscious, or being an inanimate object, or being a large group of people at once. what shes left with in terms of available emotional states is: a chronic underlying sense of dread/anxiety, nagging frustration, and brief smug satisfaction at solving a problem or figuring something out (something that feels like the unraveling of a painful knot in her head). and a lot of the aforementioned anxiety stems precisely from not feeling things she kind of senses she ought to be feeling. its like she can see the negative space, the void left where the "right" reaction/emotion ought to be, and she can kinda work with that, but it stresses her out (which in turn is more of a physical feeling than anything else). despite her general Umm Reason And Logic attitude she definitely does not devalue emotions--they serve a purpose, and while they can impair judgment, they can also enhance it, by keeping a person grounded and connected to other people, and by providing necessary shortcuts that make it so anything gets done. it worries her that she cant feel angry on somebody's behalf when she knows a grave injustice was done to them, she can't even feel angry or upset when somebody wrongs her, and she doesn't feel scared when faced with obvious immediate danger. once again she cant quite tell what she was like before being shot, how in-control she was of her emotions, how well she could relate to others, stuff like that. but as is obvious by now, shes very susceptible to overt self-scrutiny. as an ocd-haver. obviously a big part of her drug use is just self-medicating, though she doesnt think of it that way at all (which too is one of her many idiosyncrasies). hell she doesnt even quite laugh at things that are funny to her, shes just like. ooh thats funny, thats good. i think in all of that she forgets that joy missing from her life also affects her a lot. things just dont really make her happy. she's curious, she's determined, she can tell when something would make her happy or ought to make her happy, but the emotion just isn't there. in this way, having her love reciprocated doesnt even quite make a difference to her--which in itself isnt true, because of course it would; even if she cant feel happiness emotionally, being held and loved and cared for feels good on many levels, and since solving problems still feels good to her, well, not to get overly poetic but love (any love; platonic, romantic, etc) is a solution... no woman is an island. the fact that she can feel love and attachment despite everything, even though its very difficult for her to identify or admit to herself or comprehend, is proof enough. leigh, you love your friends... yes, how it feels to her is the reasonable efforts to work together, to look out for each other, to satisfy biological human instincts for interactions and companionship, and to use ones influence in somebody else's life to improve it as much as possible, because improving things is an Essential Rule. which, all of the above is honestly kind of funny when actually described, cuz like, wow leigh you sure love to overthink things. miss r/iamverysmart. but she is kind of lost! she can still see and feel those negative spaces, those missing pieces, theyre all over the place. as is the mental fog, the hallucinations, the occasional seizures. some part of her sense of self was ripped away from her and she doesnt even know how to feel angry at the guy who did it.

[blubushie]

ie, the mischaracterization thing, i once saw a take that was like "heavy would not mother you, he would grab you by the neck and call you an idiot baby man" which i personally disagree with because i feel like... both of those things can be true at once tbh. people are complex and multidimensional and we all sometimes have contradicting traits. it depends on who we're interacting with.

obviously heavy is not gonna act the same way with his sisters vs his colleagues. we've seen how he is with zhanna. he's pretty parental and protective over her, isn't he? obviously he's not gonna be like that with for example, soldier and scout. why would he parent his adult male coworkers.

bottom line, ppl simplify things too much and i agree that "demo is lazy/abusive" or "sniper is shy" are things that directly contradict their characters, some ppl just really like to nitpick certain things and i feel like it should be possible to balance out certain traits at once. engie can have the polite southern demeanor but still have that lurking insanity that only a man that cut off his own arm could have. medic can be manic and brutal while still having moments of genuine care for other people etc etc.

Yeah I think too many people forget that humans aren't one-dimensional, and characters often aren't either. People are actually extremely complex creatures filled with nuance, and are often hypocritical and self-contradicting.

[importantdestinydefendor]

5, 6, 9, and 10 with Daryun and Saam for the ask game! 👀

Oh, what wonderful characters! (And so obviuse lmao but that is on me for talking about them so much) and what fun questions! I went a little on a rant here, sorry!

If anyone wants to partake here are the original questions/post!

WARING: Long post

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I usually am a person who listens to a song and is reminded of the character, rather than looking or thinking about a character and being reminded of a song. So I had to wade through my song list to find the perfect songs for my two special boys. And damn, was it HARD.

For Daryun - Lion by Saint Mesa: The whisperlike/calm singing combined with the overwhelming sound and powerful lyrics talking about somebody embracing their inner power (only a loose summary, do check out the entire meaning of the lyrics) remind me of him. He is a strong man and has many remarkable qualities. He is a courageous man who doesn’t shy away from challenges in his way nor from showing warmth to his friends/companions.

Lyric that remind me of him: “Gold are your fingers, leaving traces everywhere you go” “Sound of the water, deads dripping down your face” “Bring the lion out, bring the, bring the lion out”

For Sam - Warrior by Aurora: It reminds me of how he is trapped in his own mind and guilt of what happened in Ecbatana (as he tells Kishward in Chapter 124) and wishes for his own death. But he still fights on for what he believes in and to protect what he holds close and to keep people safe.

Lyric that remind me of him:  “I can’t recall the last time I opened my eyes to see the world as beautiful.” “I’m trying to battle the night.” “Just reach out for the light, warrior, warrior.”

There are obviously more songs but for now, I chose these. For Daryun it was the hardest. Most of these songs will also probably be in my playlist for the AU as they both ALSO remind me of Azar. 

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Ok, be prepared for a little self-love/self-praise in this one (which is needed sometimes. Practice self-love, folks!).

I generally pride myself on being kind, friendly and (somewhat???) loyal as a friend and general human being. And who is quite literally the definition of loyalty?? Our famed knight in black, Daryun! (Sam as well, but that is not as noticeable under his other great characteristics (even though the recent chapters have proven me wrong)). 

But most importantly, we three are the mom-friends. We care deeply for our friends and people we hold close to us. Daryun is the more protective mom-friend - always asking if you are okay and please, do send a text when your home safe and sound (I actually did that to a guy friend of mine. It was after a party of mine, it was after midnight and he wanted to head home for the night (he came by bike). I and another friend of ours didn't let him go until he promised us that he would send a text that he was home. I literally didn’t go to sleep UNTIl I had the text. It was like 2 or so in the morning! (I was also slightly tipsy), He only lived 20 minutes away from me, mind you).

Sam would be the mom-friend who would lend you a shoulder and an ear if you need it. He would hate it if an argument ensues between some of his friends and try to be the mediator. Probably has like random medical stuff (band-aid, painkillers, etc.) or other things one might need at hand. (I always have band-aids, at least two bottles of water, different types of pain medication, something against a cough or a small bite to eat (usually small chocolate bars) with me.) He (and Daryun, actually) would give you their jacket, scarf, etc. in a heartbeat. (I always have something to change into with me if it’s too warm/cold outside, be it a scarf, extra pair of gloves or a tshirt. If you even vaguely mention around me that you are cold, I will immediately offer you my jacket, pullover, etc.)

9.Could you be roommates with this character?

And while we talk about them being mom-friends, they would probably be wonderful roommates.

I would always have a clean and organized flat/home, probably a full fridge and no worries of a brake in (the burglar would run in fear jkashnscfluf). When stressed, they would probably hype me up and remind me to take regular breaks. While Sam would probably be the one cooking, etc, Daryun would repair things around the flat and move heavy stuff when asked.  Look after things when I’m sick, take care of me, regular mental health checkup, etc. Fun late night talks and at least one regular thing we would all do together (like regular strolls, movie nights, going out to eat, that kind of stuff). Also weekly sit downs for discussing roles for housework, expenses for all of us, etc. A lot of my friends would say we have a cute family dynamic (Sam -the dad, Daryun the older brother, me- the youngest/the baby). A lot of compliments for achievements, my art, etc from them. My two personal trainers for working out (and also muscles to oogle at all day long consensually and politely of course (yes, there I said it!)). Always making sure that I’m safe and rush to help/save me from weirdos/situations I don’t feel safe in/ etc. Would have period products with them when we’re out and not squeamish to talk about normal woman anatomy/health, etc.

But as there are upsides there are also downsides in everything.

They would probably constantly be on my ass for doing things and reminding me of my deadlines (probably). Daryun would be up and early to go for a jog, the gym, his general workout, etc, while Sam would be already cleaning the apartment after one (1) coffee. Like imagine, it is a Saturday and I think, I can sleep in? Nope, 5 or 6 am, the men of the house are up and doing their routines. Probably trying to be quiet, but failing. Sam MUST have first cleaned the house before he can do ANYTHING else in his day (like my mom). Daryun would have a whole cabinet of protein powder/stuff for himself and oh my god, the many times I would send myself flying over his home-workout equipment? I would be a WALKING bruise. And when we are already talking about the work out, Sam and Daryun would both probably try to get me to work out more. Always pushing me to my limits (“You can do it!” or “One more.” “No, TWO more!” bro, no. I have pudding and noodles for arms. The only thing I will manage to do is for me to hurt myself the weirdest way possible and you have to patch me up AGAIN. I literally ripped a tendon in my ankle by TURNING AROUND IN MY ROOM! You have to put me in bubble wrap and I would STILL manage to hurt myself.). When I go out they would make me promise to text them when I arrive or am about to leave. When it is like a minute after agreed time (call, coming home, etc.) texts and calls would ensue. Out of fear and worry for my well being, of course. Like, you know how parents sometimes call several times and you would get annoyed? Yeah, that. Full on parent mode from the both of them. Sweet at first but a little overwhelming after a while. And since they are, ya know, men, the sink would look terrible after a shave! They would try to be clean, obviously, but sometimes they forget. So, deep cleaning it is! 

But there are more pros than cons and most cons would be me being clumsy and them having to patch me again, sooo… 

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Sam

Probably not really. He is a lot older than me and it would probably be more of a casual friend than a full on best friend. Like the older coworker you slowly become friends with and have some casual meetings in a cafe with and sometimes invite for dinner or a party with some friends. But it would always be fun and you could probably get GREAT life and/or dating advice from him. Always a life hack or wisdom in store and a fun life story to tell. Easily could lighten up the entire party with stories when he has good energy. Later on would probably sit more alone or have a casual talk with somebody as his energy goes down. But still, fun to be around regardless

Daryun

Oh, Brother! Not to the extant as he and Narsus are, but still! It would be like watching a competition of who can take more care of the other (like the meme where two people constantly upstage each other so the other doesn’t get shot.). Regular hangouts, just sitting with each other and enjoying the others present, movie nights, etc. Basically very similar to what I have written down for the roommate one. Would help me in any need, have a few jokes up his sleeve for when I’m down and hype me up as much as he can. Does tell me when I made a blunder but as gently as possible (I’m sensitive as hell, I WILL cry and think about it to no end!). (WARNING: A little self indulgence in the next phrase. If you find this cringe, huh, SUCK IT.)  Friends would either say we are siblings from another parent/brother and sister, OR we would make a great couple, are couple goals and if we aren’t married in the next few years, they won’t believe in true love anymore. No in between! Regardless of if we have feelings for each other or not. But he would be a very reliable best friend and I would do the same for him in a heartbeat! Lend him my ear, draw stuff for his birthday, etc. But Daryun better get ready for dem hugs as my love language is physical touch and I LOVE cuddling! (There is probably some gift giving and acts of services in there too). If he isn’t a fan of it, I would obviously respect his boundaries.

[aikoiya]

DP HC - Dash After High School

I like the idea that once Dash doesn't get a scholarship & his parents learn about his bullying tendencies, his parents (or at least his mother) send him to boot camp & he ends up with some talent for being a medic.

In my mind, Dash's father is a pillar of true masculine toxicity & very obviously homophobic.

Like, I feel that the terms are overly-used these days & has lost some of its meaning, but I do feel like there are certain traits of men that can be toxic if they don't learn balance, just like how I think there are certain female traits that can be toxic too.

Like, for men, there's aggressive & violent when they need to be & that's just part of being a man, it can even be a good thing in certain situations. Then, there's being overly aggressive & violent when there's no need for it or in a situation where it's not appropriate or where he's being legitimately abusive. Like, literally just because they're angry or wanna hurt someone. (I mean, if a couple guys get into a fistfight, then afterwards they laugh about it & go get a drink together, no harm done, then that's fine. Sometimes, that's just how guys interact.) Then there's overly stubborn & a refusal to be wrong & the need for others to be subservient. Those are the sorts of things that are toxic, but they aren't innately male-centric characteristics & are toxic no matter who acts that way.

Luckily, I haven't met many men around me who exemplifies this sort of thing.

As for homophobia, again, there's a difference between not agreeing with someone's lifestyle, yet still supporting their right to choose how they live... & outright hating homosexuality & treating such individuals as something less than human.

Dash's dad is the latter.

I see Dash's mom & dad being abusive in different ways, the mom being more negligent with the dad being more violent & demanding.

So, when they finally got a divorce, Dash's mom saw some of the makings of the man she married through Dash's bullying & decided that she couldn't handle it.

So, she sent him to boot camp which straightened his ass out quick & in a hurry!

He later chose to apply to the military & even later became a field medic.

He becomes a much better person because of this, his experience with teams helping him a little bit, though basic training was, like, even worse than football training could ever be, & even though he & his mom aren't on good terms, he's thankful that she put him through that even though it was for her own self-interests. Being from a town where ghosts attack at all hours also tends to help with one's reaction time.

Once he retires from the military, he goes back to school & becomes a full-fledged doctor. A surgeon specifically & he does pretty damn well.

Thing is, had his parents not gotten divorce, he would've become what he did in TUE. A fat, washed up loser.

He's also married with kids. He's bi, but he ultimately decided that he wanted a wife & kids of his own blood more than he ever could a man, so he chose to seek out women once he realized that. It's in that moment that he realized that while he was bisexual, he was also heteroromantic & felt no true romantic connection to any of the men he'd dated before.

He'd always found that odd, but now he understood.

Ultimately, he's happy &, at the 10 year reunion, he made sure to apologize to all the guys he bullied back then. Including Fenton.

They're decent friends now. Still razz & bitch at & insult & prank each other, but there's no heat to it anymore & even when they do fight, Danny fights back now &, as mentioned above, they tend to laugh about it before going off to get beers together afterwards.

Just dude shit.

DP Character HC Masterlist

[boreal-sea]

There is no justifying the continued slaughter of Palestinians in Gaza.

None of this is "self-defense".

The modern state of Israel was formed by forcing Palestinians out of their homes through force and death; the stolen land has been occupied ever since. Are Jews native to the area? Yes. That doesn't make the Nakba ethical. No indigenous population has a right to steal land from another indigenous population, that's not how this works. Immigration to the region? Fine. Using the military force of Europe to evict and kill thousands of Palestinians and steal their homes and land? That's wrong. And that wrong has NEVER been corrected; it has in fact been made worse as the government of Israel continues to steal more land.

It's not self-defense to retroactively re-label civilians as "combatants" after fights break out to claim the ratio of civilian deaths to combatant deaths actually isn't that bad. Combatants by international law have to distinguish themselves from civilians; you can't say "well they attacked us so now they're combatants". It's human nature to fight back when you're being carted around like cattle, when you've got a gun in your face, when you're starving and food is just a few feet away.

It's not self-defense to control all traffic in and out of Gaza, to control people's ability to even leave for medical treatment, to control what they can import and export, to restrict their access to safe water, and more.

It's not self-defense to "warn" you're going to bomb a neighborhood that last week you claimed would be safe, to constantly move the goal posts, to corral people into a smaller and smaller area through terror. It's not self-defense to bomb the city you promised would be spared.

It's not self-defense to claim it's ok to bomb ambulances and hospitals because Hamas "uses human shields" - you're not supposed to kill the human shields! They're still innocent people!

There are Jewish people living on stolen land, land they may not have personally stolen, land they consider home, in a region that historically was home. I don't know how to fix this in a way that doesn't cause a mirror of trauma to Jewish people now living there. Evicting everyone a second time is obviously not the right action.

But shooting at desperate, starving civilians is ALSO not the right action. The government of Israel is wrong.

(Setting this so no one can reblog it because I don't want antisemites on this post, this is not for you)

[regrator-the-ninth]

Muzan and Chronic Illness: an Essay of Sorts

Part of why I love Muzan in KnY is because I relate to him. While his objective actions in the story are obviously evil, I think he’s a lot more sympathetic than the writers want him to be. This essay explores Muzan’s backstory, his treatment by the narrative, and my feelings toward the use of his character. As such, it contains MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS. THIS IS YOUR WARNING. This piece is not trying to “cancel” KnY for ableism or to say anything about the views of the mangaka/anime screenwriters/etc. I enjoyed KnY, and if you’re thinking about giving it a shot, I do recommend it. This is just a self-reflective piece that I wrote to process my own experiences with chronic illnesses in my own life and analyze the nuances of a piece of media that I love.

To begin, we need to establish what a “chronic illness” is. For the purposes of this piece, a chronic illness is defined as an illness that significantly impacts quality of life and lasts for an extended period of time. The reason most chronic illnesses are chronic is because they either have no cure, or the cure is slow-acting, incomplete, or otherwise unable to completely remove the effects of the illness in a short period of time.

The state of “being a demon” in KnY falls under the label of chronic illness. When you are a demon, you cannot go outside in the sun, you cannot be in close proximity to wisteria, and you cannot survive without killing humans. Your mental state is also compromised, causing you to undergo personality changes and behave in ways you would not if you were a normal human. Demons such as Akaza and Gyutaro become demons due to wanting to protect those they love, but end up committing horrible crimes and mistreating their loved ones after the transformation. Rui, for example, hates his family that he once loved due to the transformation and deeply regrets it once his human memories and emotions return. The mental change is depicted by the narrative as the worst part of becoming a demon, as it takes a person’s goals and emotions and turns them into twisted, cruel versions of themselves. The many negative changes caused by becoming a demon can be considered symptoms of a chronic illness. This is confirmed by the fact that Nezuko’s demonhood is written essentially as an illness to which Tanjiro is seeking a cure. However, demonhood itself acts as a cure to many chronic illnesses due to the regenerative abilities it grants. In that case, the negative symptoms of being a demon can be considered side effects of an imperfect treatment.

To explore that concept, we can look at Tamayo and Yushiro, demons who have managed to correct the need for killing humans but are still harmed by the sun. Their actions exemplify the most moral way of dealing with demonhood being the only cure to a chronic illness. Yushiro would have died if he were not transformed into a demon, so Tamayo transforms him while making sure that he survives on consensual blood donations and does not cause excessive harm. This is shown to us as the “correct” way of using the demon transformation process to cure illnesses that have no other cures available. To properly use the process, one must provide sufficient medical care and mental support to allow the newly created demon to regain their mental humanity and successfully integrate into society, mitigating the side effects of the treatment.

The narrative thus provides a framework for the “proper” medical treatment pipeline:

if (person has chronic illness):     turn person into demon     use Tamayo method so they become a good demon

else if (person is a demon):     if (cure to demonhood found):         turn person back into a human     else:         use Tamayo method so they become a good demon

else: do nothing

This all seems great, right? Well, not really. The battles between Tanjiro and the demons he faces show that demons who are left untreated for too long cannot be stopped in a peaceful way and must be killed. This means that if no one intervenes in the early stages post-transformation, there is nothing you can do about a demon. The tragedy of KnY comes from this fact, as audiences are let in on each demon’s backstory and the unfortunate circumstances that drove them to becoming so evil that there was no turning back. Every demon other than Muzan is portrayed as a victim whose burdens are lifted via Tanjiro crying in sympathy at their stories and gently guiding them to the afterlife, showing the sad inevitability of their death.

Using this canonically established framework for “proper” use of demon abilities, we can apply our knowledge to Muzan. Him choosing to pursue a cure to his own terminal chronic illness was not morally wrong. He didn’t even know the consequences, as it was an experimental procedure. After becoming a demon, the correct process would have been to receive proper treatment to make him retain his humanity and reintegrate into society, but no one was able to provide that treatment. He killed his doctor before the doctor could come up with such a treatment, and Tamayo was not in the picture at all at the time. Within the constraints of the universe, there was nothing that could’ve been done.

As Muzan himself said, he was like a natural disaster, an unlucky confluence of various uncontrollable factors that led to a huge amount of destruction. He commissioned a cure for a yet incurable disease and tried said cure on himself, which was not an unreasonable thing to do. Unbeknownst to him, the cure corrupted his mind and changed his body to be hungry for human flesh. He obviously could have received no further treatment from the doctor after he killed him, which meant that by the time he killed the doctor, he was already a demon. As a demon, he had no medical or mental support, which meant that he likely forgot most of his human life and became driven by whatever vestiges of his strongest emotions remained. As a terminally ill patient with little hope for recovery, his strongest emotions were likely fear of death and frustration with his own body. These emotions, amplified by the demon transformation process, took over his body and mind and made him the evil demon we see in KnY. At the end of the day, he needed to be stopped, and the only way to stop him was to kill him. By the time he died, his evil actions far outweighed his good intentions. Despite all of this, we need to acknowledge that none of this was intentionally evil, but rather a result of an experimental treatment not being what Muzan nor his doctor had expected.

All of this is well and good, as demons having understandable backstories is par for the course in KnY. However, my issue with this is the way Muzan is depicted. Unlike every other demon in the story, Tanjiro fights him to the bitter end and shows him no sympathy or respect. The ultimate message at the end of his story is that your life is memorable and important because of the impact you make on the world, not because you are physically alive at all times. Tanjiro fights for his humanity while Muzan fights for his life, and we are supposed to think that this is a battle against evil. Muzan’s fear of death and regret is framed as the epitome of him being a bad person. The fact that he became a demon and caused all of this harm is not portrayed as an inevitable consequence of an experimental medical treatment, but as a conscious decision from his cruel and immoral mind. That is where I disagree with the writing, because it simply isn’t true. He became a demon because he was seeking a cure for a terminal chronic illness, an endeavor that would have made him an objectively good person had it gone according to plan. He followed the Canonically Approved Demon Protocol as well as he could have given his circumstances. He did nothing wrong before his transformation began, yet somehow, he is cast in a strongly negative light. Why?

Honestly, I think the reason Muzan is depicted this way is because the author wanted a pure evil villain and made one. I don’t think they thought long and hard about the medical and moral considerations of Muzan’s backstory, they just wanted him to come across as super evil and wrote him that way. However, as a person who has had my own struggles with chronic illnesses myself, I see a lot of myself in Muzan’s backstory. I’ve signed up for many different medical trials, tried experimental medications, and read medical articles and resources in search of a better understanding of my own body. I understand his frustration with his progress and with the medical industry. A lot of my doctors ran a bunch of scans, tried a bunch of things, and came back with “idk man, let’s figure this out together,” and I won’t lie and say that it was a satisfactory answer. I volunteered for trials and did my own research not just to help myself, but to hopefully help other people who may be in the same situation as me as well. If, for whatever reason, one of those treatments unwittingly made me into a murderous demon, I don’t think that would make me (human me, as I stand today) a horrible person. Yes, I would need to be stopped and yes, that treatment would need to be significantly reworked before it was trialed again, and yes, that would probably count as medical malpractice in the year of our lord 2023, but at the end of the day it wouldn’t have been my fault. And I don’t know, maybe I project onto fictional characters too much but the fact that KnY so strongly insists that Muzan had no redeeming qualities throughout his entire life just rubs me the wrong way.

I dedicate this essay to everyone who says Muzan’s backstory isn’t tragic, because it is. But it’s also hopeful. Despite our physical shortcomings, our chronic illnesses, our disabilities, we continue to contribute to science, fighting on in the hopes that we can be remembered for making a difference.

Addendum 1 - Rui:

I know some of you might mention Rui as “Muzan but sympathetic” but I don’t think that’s true. The only difference between their circumstances was that Muzan was the catalyst for making the demon transformation process whereas Rui just accepted the transformation. Neither of them had given fully informed consent to the treatment (Muzan because no one knew at the time what would happen and Rui because he was not told the full story), and neither of them responded well to it. If your argument is that Muzan is less sympathetic because he killed the doctor, then why isn’t Rui less sympathetic because he killed his family? The reason why the narrative treated Rui as more sympathetic is because he was knowingly duped by Muzan, but by the time he turned Rui, Muzan was definitely way too far off the deep end of demonhood to be making reasonable decisions. Also, Rui also contributes to the same issue as Muzan because the writing makes it seem like he should have just accepted his own illness and weakness and let his family take care of him as opposed to exercising what little agency he had and seeking treatment on his own.

Addendum 2 - “Alternative Medicine”:

Another read might be that the demon thing is a warning against “alternative medicine” and miracle cures that are too good to be true. Even if this is the case, it doesn’t explain why Muzan’s actions were evil as opposed to just misinformed. Furthermore, the existence of Tamayo and Yushiro prove that the moral of the story isn’t just “don’t trust weird doctors who say they can fix you” because Tamayo definitely falls into that category. Also, becoming a demon does actually fix most chronic illnesses so it’s not a very good metaphor if that was the intention.

[light-lanterne]

(i don't typically talk about him but i saw a gifset about the ordeal so here, some byers angst)

tw // vague descriptions of murder / trauma - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☽ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - another offering, @byelerss, @catboy-cabin, @conanssummerchild, @dark-quill, @fenixashes, @fluffyfangirl, @foodiewithdahoodie, @holyvirgilscriptures, @hyperfixationcentralsvoid, @ivytheenbyfae, @runninguplenorahills, @rotisseries, @saffirez, @willow-lark, @yearninginblue. once again, not byler so i hope this is okei ~

headcanon that jonathan and argyle shared some classes together, but they only really started talking because jonathan was actively searching to get some weed and knew argyle had access to it. shy and awkward, jonathan would avoid conversation for the first few weeks, say he needed the weed only because he was curious about it,,, if needed, he'd pretend that he had insomnia and thought it would help.

nothing major.

however, as he befriended the kind and patient argyle, jonathan would slowly open up about his very stressful childhood and all the pressures he'd been under since he became old enough to care for himself (working to sustain their family, raising will even though he was still a child himself,,,). then, he'd eventually open up about will's disappearance, his feelings of guilt, and maybe even allude to some of the events of the past few years.

but none of those were the real reason behind his initial craving for self-medication. sure, all those events probably contributed to his growing anxiety, but something had been haunting him for a while, and that event on its own had been the reason he even considered using drugs even though will and el still needed him.

and that was the fact that he murdered tom holloway.

an asshole in life and a terrible threat as he became flayed, tom was not someone jonathan particularly cared about or missed now that he was gone. however, the fact that he had taken another human's life, even if necessary, was something he wished he could take back.

at the very least, he wished he had someone to talk about it for it kept plaguing his mind.

but he couldn't tell anyone. hopper was gone, his mom was already quite prone to stress, argyle was in the dark, and the kids were obviously out of the question. the only person he could really talk about it with; the only person who could truly get it was nancy, and she had seemingly not given the incident a second thought ever since it happened.

she was, after all, one of the strongest people jonathan knew. brave, logical, stubborn, and always ready to do whatever it took to protect her friends and family. nancy wheeler was a woman of strong convictions and relentless will, and having to bash a possessed man's head into a pulp was merely a means to an end. her way of preventing any of her loved ones from sharing barbara's grim fate.

and he ?

he was plain old jonathan.

the kid who'd cried the time he had to kill a rabbit and now, eight years later, the teen who struggled to breathe every time he remembered the face of the man he'd murdered.

so weed it was, and with luck, it'd bring him the sweet oblivion he desperately craved.

- the end -

(will forever be upset at the way this fandom acts like the kids and teens committing acts of violence is heroic or badass, when in reality it's nothing but a series of incredibly traumatic events that would leave them all with varying degrees of permanent mental damage :\ )