#still also doing alice closet

[sivyera]

TWILIGHT characters as love tropes

ft. carlise, esme, emmet, rosalie, edward, jasper, alice, jacob, seth, leah, paul, charlie, bella

a/n: with songs to each character

༻♛༺

⤷ Carlisle Cullen - rich love

Carlisle is a very rich man which means he will spoil you a lot. Not only with expensive gifts but also with a lot of attention and affection.

Every time when he gets home from work, he welcomes you with a kiss and warm hug.

When he has a day off, he will cook with you (even tho he cannot eat it, it's just about the time he can spend with you) or you will lay on his lap with his hand stroking your hair and book in his other hand, reading to you.

Every Friday he will take you to a fancy restaurant and than for a slow walk around the nearest park.

On your birthday or on International Women's Day (or any other 'special' day) he will spoil you even more than on normal days. Expensive jewelry, perfumes, clothes, shoes,...

He will bring you flowers at least once every two weeks. And every July he will take you on vacation and you can choose where.

Lolita - Lana Del Rey

⤷ Esme Cullen - falling in love fast

Esme is such a kind soul so it's no surprise that you two fell in love with each other fast.

She will take you on a date every Saturday. Mostly coffee dates are her favourite. The two of you can talk for hours while drinking delicious coffee.

She will also enjoy baking with you (even tho she cannot eat/taste them)

She has many polaroids with you on them or with the both of you on them and has them hang in her closet or the small table beside her bed.

She loves when you paint her nails and massage her legs and she will always return the favor.

She loves sunny days but because she's a vampire and her skin sparkle on the sun, she cannot go out where people can see her, BUT she can go somewhere private like meadow or forest where you two can be alone and on the sun!

Sofia - Clairo

⤷ Emmett Cullen - he fell first and harder

Emmett was absolutely over the moon when you two started dating, because he knew from the start that you two are just meant to be.

He loves, loves, LOVES when you sit on his lap. He doesn't care if you are stroking his hair or doing make-up on him, he just want you in his lap, so he can embrace you with his big arms and muscular body.

He'll dance goofily around the bedroom with you to some catchy hip-hop songs he has found.

He loves cuddling with you especially when he can be the big spoon, because he likes how tiny you're compared to him.

Matching pyjamas and make polaroids in those pyjamas, which happens to be one of his favourite memory and polaroids.

He doesn't really like reading books but he always wants you to read to him, because he loves your voice.

She's Kinda Hot - 5 Seconds of Summer

⤷ Rosalie Cullen/Hale - you fell first but she fell harder

Rosalie has trust issues and trauma because of her past so she wouldn't fall in love easily nor fast, but trust me when she does fall in love; she loves hard.

She loves having spa day with you which includes face masks, painting nails, shared warm bath and much more.

She will take you to the mail shopping almost every day and will buy you everything you look at.

She doesn't like much PDA but she will hold your hand in public but if she gets jealous, she will show the person she's jealous off who you belong to.

She doesn't show it to others just you, but she loves cuddles. She loves when you lay next to her, face to face so she can see your beautiful face.

She's also very protective over you, so if any guy or a girl makes you feel uncomfortable (or unsafe), tell her and she will make sure they won't approach you ever again.

Prey - The Neighbourhood

⤷ Edward Cullen - first and only love

Edward waited so many years for you, but it was worth it because he finally got you.

He loves when you kiss his forehead even tho he has to lean down because of your height difference, it makes him feel safe. Still his favourite place to kiss you is on your lips.

Edward will write poets for you and about you on small piece of paper and then put them somewhere in your room where you will notice them like your closet or on your book, laptop, notebook, pillow,...and he will bring you your favorite flowers right after the previous ones he gave you have withered.

He will also write songs about you (or for you) and then play them to you on the piano. Which he absolutely loves because you sit right next to him and look at him with those beautiful eyes of yours full of love. Edward cannot read your mind but he can sure read your eyes, the small spark and the love in them when you look at him, he just loves it!

Loves cuddling with you, his favourite position is when you lay on his chest or when he's the big spoon, face to face or hugging you from behind.

He loves having deep talks with you and he'll tell you about his childhood or about the time he was born in.

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

⤷ Jasper Cullen/Hale - unconditional love

Jasper can be sometimes insecure just as much as Edward, they even have similar reasons... Jasper is afraid of him hurting you, he's afraid that he won't be able to control himself around you, but your words of affirmation and gently touch will calm him down.

Jasper doesn't talk much, he rather listens and he loves listens to you. It doesn't matter what you are talking about, he just loves your voice.

He will take you for a horse ride because he loved it back when he was a human and because he was a cowboy, but you two will have to share the horse because he wants your arms around him.

At first he was a bit scared of cuddling with you (again because of his control) but soon as your hand went to his hair, he melted. Both of you realized how touch starved he's so now cuddling is an everyday thing.

Jasper is a gentleman like Edward or Carlisle so he will also bring you flowers every even week.

He'll read to you to make you fall asleep, because his smooth voice is like a lullaby to you. But if Jasper feels that you are anxious, he will calm you down with his gift and than talk to you what made you anxious, eventually he will cuddle you.

R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys

⤷ Alice Cullen - any universe

Alice (because of her gift) always knew you were the one, her one and only true love. So when she first saw you, she couldn't help but babbling to her adoptive siblings all day how amazing you are and how she's already in love with you.

She'll go to the mail with you and make small fashion show with you in the cabins with all the cute outfits she found for you and you for her.

She's mostly the small spoon (sometimes she is the big spoon but depends on the situation) while cuddling because she loves when you hold her in your arms and stroke her back.

Outside, in front of other people, she will always hold your whole arm, not just palm.

If you have trouble falling asleep, she will gladly sing to you while stroking your hair.

She'll buy matching clothes, jewerly or nail polish, because she loves when you two match your outfits or other accesories.

i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

⤷ Jacob Black - whatever it takes

Jacob is willing to do anything and everything for you, his imprint. He will kill for you, he will die for you, he will do just everything.

Jacob can be sometimes insecure because he isn't that rich like the Cullens and he thinks you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, so once again he's willing to prove you that he's worthy of your love.

He'll make you a small wolf and your favourite flower out of wood and attached it into a bracelet, which he will eventually give you to your birthday.

He's also a big cuddle bug, because he's so warm will make you comfortable enough to fall asleep. He's most of the time the big spoon because he feels like he's protecting you but he doesn't mind to be the little spoon. Cuddling also leaves his scent on you so every vampire or shape-shifter (wolf) can smell who you belong to.

He'll take you on motorcycle rides. Also he will drop you at your school on his motorcycle and then he will pick you up. Also he'll let you ride on his back while he's in his wolf form.

Jacob doesn't like fancy restaurants, he prefers his or your bed with some snacks and movies, cuddling of course!

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

⤷  Seth Clearwater - love at first sight

Seth hoped that he will met his imprint someday and he heard from the others how amazing the feeling is to imprint on someone, but no one really prepared him to him because when he first saw you, your beauty hit him like a brick. And he finally understood the feeling because all he could see was you...

Seth will make sure you are always in a good mood with him, either he could tell you some stupid joke or cheesy pick-up line.

He maybe look like a cute baby but don't let his cute face fool you because he won't hesitate to kill for you, so it makes him really protective over you.

In his wolf form he's like a big puppy but only to you and he loves giving you piggy back rides in his wolf form.

Cuddling really depends on his mood; if he's in good mood he will be the little spoon with his head placed on your lap; if he's in a bad mood (mostly when he's jealous) he'll be the big spoon to show others that he can protect you.

He loves baking with you but he's clueless so he will just stand there and watch you or mix some ingredients, often sneaks up a kiss on the cheek while baking.

Dandelions - Ruth B.

⤷  Leah Clearwater - enemies to lovers

At first Leah hated the fact that she actually had a imprint, so she would try to stay away from you as much as possible and when she couldn't; she would have some nasty comments towards you, but it hurt her as hell when she saw how sad she made you or worst insecure.

She tried hard to stay away from you but she failed, miserably. She needed you, she needed to be with you, so she will explain everything to you same as she would apologize for her acting.

Very protective of you, anyone could just try and test her patience.

At first she wouldn't want you to be near her while she was in her wolf form because she was much bigger and stronger so she was afraid that she could hurt you, but she became a sucker for scratches behind her ear.

Seth will often tease his big sister because she's really soft when it comes to you, which makes Leah give Seth few playful slaps.

When it comes to cuddling, Leah is the big spoon because she has the urge to protect you and being the big spoon makes her feel like she's protecting you in you sleep.

Running With The Wolves - AURORA

⤷  Paul Lahote - rough love

With the term 'rough love' i mean that Paul is passionate lover and is willing to do anything for his imprint, you.

Paul isn't very patient when it comes to people but you are an exception. Still he's aggressive when someone push his buttons but you are always here to drag him away and calm him down.

Just a single touch and Paul's full attention is on you. Which brings me to the fact that he turns into a puppy when you touch him, your touch is just to comforting.

He's the big spoon because he feels like he protects you and it makes his scent stay on you.

He can get jealous very easily, he trusts you but he doesn't trusts the others and he doesn't want any boys or girls too close to his imprint.

Loves everything you cook or bake and will always eat everything.

Overprotective, if any vampire even dare to touch you, he'll kill him.

Little Freak - Harry Styles

⤷ Charlie Swan - old love

Charlie is old school but still a huge gentleman.

He will bring you flowers every time you had a bad day and some chocolates when you had a good day to make it even better.

He loves watching old movies or crime/detective movies with you, with his arm around your shoulder.

When he has day off, you two will go on a picnic date which always ends up with you laying on his chest while he's telling you some stories from work.

Every time you bring him a lunch into his police office, he will welcome you with a warm, thankful smile and thank you with a kiss on your cheek.

He will protect you even more than before, when he finds out that there are vampires and werewolfs (shape-shifters).

Burning Love - Elvis Presley

⤷  Bella Swan - teenage love

Bella will be awkward and nervous when she first spoke to you, because you were just too beautiful to be real. But to her surprise she made you fall in love with her which made her so, so happy.

First attempts of trying to cuddle with her or just show her simple romantic affection were awkward because she was just to nervous, eventually she will warm up and feel more comfortable.

She find our that you touch calms her anxiety and nervousness so whenever she's nervous or anxious she will just hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Charlie was very happy that his daughter found someone like you, which made Bella even more happy when she saw how you, the love of her life and her father get along.

Often having sleepovers at her house when Charlie has night shifts, which always leads to matching face masks and cuddles.

Kisses on the cheek are her favourite, because she can easily turn and give you small peck on your cheek and visa versa.

Electric Love - BØRNS 

[gothicgaycowboy]

𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 3.1k

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: you make Aemond’s longtime librarian fantasy come to life.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 18+ no minors, fem dom, sub aemond, a cock ring, oral sex (m receiving), deep throating, role play (kinda), unprotected sex, creampie, no use of y/n, edging (m receiving), both reader and aemond are little losers, established relationship, pet names, embarrassing family dinner conversations, a cameo from aemond’s lesbian moms and aegon.

𝙖/𝙣: this was originally going to be the beginning of my kinktober but I didn’t even get a chance to write out any of my other ideas in time. also big thank you to this anon who inspired this fic. hope you enjoy 💋

Up until now you thought you and your boyfriend had no secrets between you, but as it turns out you were wrong.

It started a week ago, you and Aemond drove up the countryside for a weekend to visit his family for Alicent’s birthday. Everyone tried their best to make it up there for big celebrations.

After three years together you feel like a member of the family yourself, Alicent and Rhaenyra even refer to you as their second daughter. You feel more at home with them than you do with your own family — and more importantly you felt like they couldn’t shock you anymore. That lasted until dinner.

Aegon and Aemond had gotten into a tiff about something juvenile that you can’t even remember anymore. Words tossed back and forth at one another from across the table like a tennis match. Rhaenyra was about to interject when Aegon blurted out: “Did you ever tell your sweetheart about what you did with my rag mag?”

Now that caught your attention.

Aemond’s face became beet red. His eyes practically bulged out of his skull in fear. Aegon smiled cockily at his brother’s expression, poking a forkful of their mothers dinner into his mouth.

Alicent and Rhaenyra tried to object to this conversation as soon as the word ‘rag mag’ was tossed out, but were cut short by your boyfriend.

“You wouldn’t.” It was clear Aemond was attempting to sound intimidating when it was obvious to everyone else he was fearing for his life.

“Oh, but I really would.” You vaguely remember overhearing Rhaenyra warn Alicent to cover her ears. Aegon turned his full attention to you, his eyes locked with yours. “When your precious boyfriend was still shorter than me he snuck into my room, snooped through my collection, and ripped out the naughty librarian spread all for himself.”

For the first time since you had met him Aemond became shy. You didn’t quite understand why exactly. Your boyfriend was no saint when it came to sex. He was the one who suggested most of your perverted ventures thus far, so why had he never told you this story himself?

After the table was cleared and conversation changed Aemond popped outside to take a quick smoke break — the perfect opportunity for you to interrogate Aegon a little more. You slid beside him as he washed that night's dishes like the good little son he can be occasionally.

“What was all that about?”

He glanced up at you briefly from the task in front of him. “What was all what about?”

“You know…” you suddenly realised how humiliating it was to talk about sex related topics with your boyfriend's brother. “The magazine drama?”

A knowing smirk crossed the​ Targaryen’s lips. “Ah, you want to know why Aemond threw such a fit about his little secret being outed.” He placed a white salad bowl onto the drying rack before facing you. “Well there are a few theories I have about it — first and most simple of all: maybe he was just embarrassed to have his middle school perversions exposed to our parents. I’m not too convinced by that one though given the simple fact that you two have been fucking at practically every family event you have been invited to thus far.”

It was then your turn for your cheeks to heat up with embarrassment, the memory of being caught half naked by Rhaenyra in the shoe closet still haunts you.

“So that leads me to my second theory: he’s ashamed of you knowing about his librarian fetish.”

Your brows pinched together quizzically. “But that doesn’t make any sense, we’ve done way crazier things together than a little kinky roleplay.”

Aegon closed his eyes and let out a long exhale like he was about to be sick. “I can’t express to you how much I didn’t want to know that.” You smiled at him apologetically letting out a timid ‘sorry’.

The purple eyed boy rubbed at his temples before opening his eyes again. “Okay, I’m probably gonna throw up later and really regret asking you this but: have you ever been in charge? Ya know, taken on the reins while you two are…” He held his hand over his stomach dramatically. “Having sex?”

your gaze remained on the clean kitchen floor as you answered his question. “No…”

“Well there you go, now if you’ll excuse me I need to go drink this conversation from my memory.”

Since that night you have been on a mission: make Aemond’s fantasy come to life.

It started like all good missions did — with a bit of thorough research of course. Aemond is a stickler for details and you needed all of them if you were going to pull this off successfully. The magazine from all the detail you managed to pull out of poor Aegon was a Hustler and based on the years Aemond would have been in middle school you managed to comb through every edition of Hustler during that time until you found it: the librarian spread.

This took you to the next step in your plan: the outfit. There wasn’t really much to it, obviously most of it was pulled off the models body in favour of showing off what was underneath, but you focused on what remained. Petite framed glasses, a white button up (tossed aside on the desk she sat on but you figured she was probably wearing it at some point in time), black pencil skirt, stockings, garter belt, and most importantly no panties.

All of this planning and waiting had finally led up to today. You have a day off to get your shit in order and Aemond’s shift ends early. You are quite proud of yourself honestly. Who knew being a research nerd could come in handy in the bedroom?

Now it was just time to see if Aemond appreciates it as much as you do.

From your spot in the kitchen you hear your boyfriend's keys enter the lock to your apartment – your cue to bolt into the bedroom. Inside the bedroom your heart races, nerves suddenly getting the best of you. What if he didn’t like it? What if he thinks you’re trying to belittle him? What if he thinks you look stupid?

“Baby?” Aemond calls from inside the main hallway.

“In the bedroom!” Well there was no going back now. Fuck it. You press play on the playlist you curated and pose yourself sitting on top of Aemond’s desk, just like the picture.

The door creaks open, revealing the white haired man to you. For a second he doesn’t look up, good eye still locked onto his phone. “What’s with the mu–” His eye meets with yours and stops him in his tracks. The bag he is carrying falls off his shoulder. The way he blushed at the birthday dinner has nothing on the state of his face now.

A few long moments pass by and the two of you remain perfectly still. It makes the knot in your stomach worse. “Please say something.” You beg as Aemond remains gobsmacked.

“You– how did – wh – you look–” He babbles like a small child.

“Please make it intelligible.” you try to lighten the mood as your hands play with each other anxiously.

It seems to shake Aemond out of his idiotict trance. “You look like the librarian from my magazine.”

“I do.” You change your tone to sound calm and collected while feeling like you’re about to explode inside.

“Why?”

“I thought you might appreciate it if I initiated something for once.”

Aemond soaks in the vision before him giving you a swift up and down glance. The pit continues growing in you but you refuse to let it show. “Do you?” You ask, impersonating all those sexually confident people you’ve seen in movies.

“I do.” Thank fuck.

Aemond rips the jacket from off his shoulders, practically running across the bedroom to reach you. He pulls you up off the desk but before he has the chance to kiss you you put a stop to him. Both hands push his face away but remain holding it so he’s forced to look at you. “Not so fast there mister.”

His face is priceless, a perfect mixture of confusion and desperation. “From now on I’m in charge, alright? You are going to lay there like the good boy I know you can be, while the sweet little librarian takes good care of you, understand?”

“Yes, I understand.” His pupil dilates so wide you can hardly see the usual violet colour of his iris.

“Yes you understand who?”

A surprise smirk graces your boyfriend's beautiful face. “Yes, I understand…ma’am.”

“Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed.” In a flash Aemond’s clothes came flying off you like you have never seen before. You knew this would get him worked up but you did not expect him to be this into it.

As the Targaryen’s boxers hit the floor and he hits the plush mattress you pull open a bag holding your secret weapon for the night. With the ‘weapon’ hiding behind your back you move up the bed straddling his muscular thigh, sitting your bare cunt directly on his skin. His already hard cock twitches with excitement. “Fuck me, are you not wearing any–?”

“No.” you say plainly, like you did this everyday. “Now I’ve got a little something special for you before I completely blow your mind.”

“I really don’t see this getting better than it is but if you say so,” He shrugs his shoulders. “I trust you.”

From behind you you reveal it: a black rubber cock ring. “I wanna see you squirm.”

Aemond’s silver-blonde locks splay out onto the pillows as he plops his head back onto the pillows. “You are trying to kill me, woman.” He groans.

“Oh you love it.” With that you wrap your manicured hand around his cock, stretching the black rubber around the base.Your boyfriend jumps slightly at the contact. “How’s it feel?”

“Wonderful, now can we get on with the main event, please?”

“Don’t forget baby, you’re not the one calling the shots tonight. Be nice to me and I’ll be nice to you.”

“Always.” He smiles. You can’t help yourself against his charms, flopping onto him to plant a sweet kiss to his lips. He wastes no time reciprocating it, taking the kiss from zero to a hundred faster than you can snap your fingers. His tongue slithering its way into your mouth. Your moans vibrated against his lips. Aemond was definitely the best kisser out of all the guys you had been with.

You reach your right hand up pushing it between the two of you, separating your lips. Aemond is clearly about to protest as you cut him off. “Spit.” No bullshit, just straight to the point. Based on the focused expression on his face the dots are taking their sweet time to connect in his pretty little head. Then it clicks and Aemond looks like a kid in a candy shop. He leans over your palm, saliva dripping down into your hand.

As the spit sinks across your palm you reach down to rub the wetness around his throbbing cock, stroking him up and down painfully slowly. Your other hand makes its way to his heavy balls, massaging them delicately in between your fingers.

You always loved playing with Aemond’s cock, but you were never allowed to take your time with it. It’s the one thing you despise about your boyfriend constantly being the one in charge. This was your time to truly tease him like he had been teasing you since you got together.

“Are you gonna be a good boy for me?” You eye him over the glasses perched on your nose.

“Fuck yes!” Aemond yelps with pure euphoria.

“You kiss your mothers with that mouth?” You continue your teasing, the sound of the shucking filling the bedroom.

“No but I really wanna kiss you again — ma’am.” You appreciate that even though he was struggling through it he still uses your proper title.

“Come here baby.” Like a man starved Aemond pushes himself up to meet your lips once more. Now was your chance. With Aemond distracted by the kiss you slowly pull away your hand from his sack to grab the remote for the cock ring off the dresser. Time to hope he enjoys this little extra surprise.

Bzzz…

Aemonds hips slam up into your fist in shock. “Jesus- fuck!”

“Now you know how I feel, huh?” You say recalling all the times that the blonde had used your vibrators on you.

The vibrations make his rod jump, shaking so fast your eyes can’t even comprehend its moving at all. God it’s hot. It had become far too normal for Aemond to watch you shake and your eyes roll back into your head with ecstasy but never you with him. It makes you feel powerful.

“F-feels so fucking good—” Aemond struggles to be coherent through the throws of pleasure.

Your hands pick up the pace, tightening your grip around him. His eyes are becoming more and more glassy as the moments pass by. Settling down till your stomach touches your knees, skirt (barely) coved ass poking out to the air. You kiss your way down his chest, leaving lipstick marks as you go until you reach the base of his vibrating cock.

Your mind swarms with ideas of how you can possibly torture him, but you decide against anymore prolonged suffering because of how desperately you need him in your mouth. You lick your way up to his leaking tip, keeping eye contact the entire time.

You run your hands over the sides of his hips as you suck the tip into your mouth. Preparing yourself with a deep breath through your nose, you dive down, deepthroating the rest of him into your throat. The tip of your nose touched the smooth base of his pubic bone. He always filled your holes so perfectly.

The sounds of your throat bobbing over him mixed with muted vibrations and Aemond’s moans make your cunt pulsate. You and Aemond are not new to dirty but something about this type of dirty got you going in a way you have never felt before.

“I’m gonna come—fuck! I’m gonna come down your perfect throat—” That is all you need to hear to pull yourself away from him (as much as you hate to).

Wiping the saliva from the corners of your mouth you press the button on the remote of the cock ring, turning the vibrations off. Aemond whines like a scorned child. A sound you're not familiar with from him, but you could picture yourself getting used to.

“Did you really think that I was going to let you come that fast? I need to make you earn it first, baby.”

He looks up at you, begging. “How? Please just tell me how I’ll do anything, I just need to be inside you. I wanna be your good boy.” His voice cracks like he’s on the brink of tears.

“You have to address me properly.”

“Anything for you ma’am.”

“Now, beg.” You tug the base of his cock into your hands, jerking him off like you were in no rush.

“Please…?” His brows knit together like a kicked puppy.

You halt your movements and grip your boyfriend’s length, not enough to actually hurt him, just enough to make Aemond whine once more. “God do you even want me to fuck you? I said beg.” You say while pulling the almost sheer white top from your body, leaving the skirt and stockings in their place though.

“Please fuck ma’am? I promise I’ll be good for you, I need to be inside of you so bad. I love your cunt so much, I need it around me. I need to feel you come on me, please?”

“Aw, look at that, you are my good boy after all.” With that you are fully on top of him. Hands planted onto his firm chest while you lean forward to tug your skirt up, revealing the lack of underwear beneath them. With his eyes thoroughly distracted by your bare cunt you pull his aching tip inside of your soaking wet entrance.

You had sex not two days before now but somehow the stretch of Aemond inside was still a shock to your system. Maybe it’s because you had never had him like this, crying below you like just being inside you was already the greatest pleasure he could experience.

“Jesus—Christ!”

You take your time adjusting to him, gradually sinking lower towards his abdomen. Your clit grazes the black silicone, alerting you that you’ve reached the bottom. Pushing yourself all the way back up to his tip you slam down as you speak. “Did all that begging make your cock harder, Aem? Do you like begging for me?”

“So much…” The words are almost inaudible through his moans.

“You don’t come until I let you, understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

It only eggs you on more. The sound of wet skin smacking and whimpering fill your ears. No thoughts pass through either of your heads.

The rocking of your hips became more frantic, desperate. Your soft wet walls hugging your boyfriend like a vice. Aemond’s reach up into the pillows, gripping so hard they change from pink to white instantly.

Your mask begins to fall at the pleasure building in your core. Legs shaking at either side of Aemond’s hips. Just like that you pull the blonde up from his horizontal position, his grip falling from the pillows. Lips crashing together in a blur as sweat pools down both your backs. “I’m so fucking close, can I come, please?” His begging is muffled against your mouth.

“Soon, I promise. Rub my clit for me baby?” He obeyed immediately. His pointer and index finger caressing against your pulsing clit. “Fuck yes! so good Aem.” Your hands wander to his hair, like you are the master and he’s your little puppet.

You can’t hold back anymore, the sensation of his lips against yours mixed with Aemond’s precise movements against your bud send you hurdling towards your orgasm. “M’coming, come for me aem, do it for me baby—” Aemond follows fast behind you, crying out your name as he reaches his peak. His cock painting your insides with his cum.

You come back down to earth together, a jumble of words spilling from both of your lips: I love you, thank you, so good, kiss me.

You collapse into a puddle on your boyfriend’s sweat soaked chest. His fingers travel through your hair as you both catch your breath. As he tucks the lock behind your ears he finally speaks coherently. “So, are you gonna tell me how you managed to replicate the exact outfit from the original photo I used to wank off to or…?”

You smile, lifting your head to face him and his pink flushed cheeks. “A great magician never reveals their secrets.”

[anastaaaaaaasia]

The First Queen

Aegon II Targaryen x niece!Reader

Important notice: in this series reader has features of Ser Harwin, including Brown hair and tone of skin.

Next chapter

Prologue

Warnings: mention of blood, children (who knows)

Chaos.

The room was in chaos. Maids ran from one corner to another, midwives bended over the princess's body on the bed. The smell of sweat, blood and milk of the poppy mixed into one stench that was nastier than the smell in the farthest corners of Flea Bottom. The sounds were no better. The rustling of sheets, the maester's stern instructions and the screams of Princess Rhaenyra.

It was a hot summer day in King's Landing, so the windows were wide open. Those inhabitants of the Red Keep who decided to take a walk near the Godswood were unlucky, the windows from the maternity room just looked out there. Few people knew, but at the moment of the most desperate screams, the dragon Syrax also screamed several miles away.

Outside the walls of the room, in the corridors of the red castle, there was also chaos. Maids brought new potions while others ran around looking for new towels. When the door opened and a maid began to carry out bloody sheets in a wicker basket, Ser Laenor staggered and abruptly closed Jace's eyes. Although the boy is only a year old, he could not allow his son to see this picture.

Queen Alicent shrugged when she saw the number of towels and sheets in a bloody color. All of her births were relatively easy and it was unusual and frightening to see this. Any woman in the Seven Kingdoms knew that while men fight on the battlefield in armor and with swords in their hands for gold, fame and new lands, women fight on the birth bed with maesters and midwives, for their lives and the lives of their children.

Alicent was rocking the newly born Aemond at this time; the chubby-cheeked boy was calm enough for his age. One-year-old Heileina was busy with a toy dragon figurine her father had given her. The young princess babbled happily as the toy appeared in her view.

At this time, her father was trying to distract himself from his thoughts. He saw such a picture not so long ago, a couple of years ago. When Viserys met long-awaited son. When he made a decision that still haunts him in the darkness of the night. When he lost his wife Aemma. Just the thought of the possible loss of his daughter brought back all the darkest images and awakened what King Viserys tried so desperately to forget, but never could. The ruler of Westeros decided that if the maesters asked to make a choice in favor of a mother or a child, he would do everything to ensure that Laenor named his wife, no matter what.

Everyone was busy with their own worries, so no one noticed how the young prince, the first son of the king, entered the room after the maid. The boy hid behind the closet when a couple of moments later the room was filled with children's cries. He carefully looked out from behind the furniture and saw that the master was holding a new member of the family. They were covered in mucus and blood. Then Aegon thought how disgusting little children were. He might never even get close to Aemond, who knows, maybe he too suddenly becomes like this. No one wants to be dirty in this mixture, especially the young prince.

Then he looked at his older sister, she was lying there and smiling. Rhaenyra stopped screaming as if she had been eaten by a dragon. Now she was lying and waiting for the first meeting with her child.

“It’s a girl, princess,” said the master. Then he placed the newborn in the hands of the princess. She smiled and stroked her new daughter's cheek. This action caused a sudden burst of laughter from the little girl. And then Aegon looked further than he should have.

A sudden gasp from one of the maids caught the attention of everyone in the room, and Aegon turned to see the maid looking straight at him. Then the young prince realized that he was in trouble. He smiled guiltily and tried to hide his eyes.

“My prince, the birthing room is not a place for men,” said the master and ordered that the boy be taken to his parents.

“But you are here, and you don’t look like a female maester, unless you are hiding something from us,” the prince smiled, and devils danced in his eyes. The princess grinned and interrupted the slightly indignant maester.

“Dear little brother, may I ask, what are you doing here?” Rhaenyra looked at her four-year-old brother. The boy didn’t know what to answer and just stood there, then he shrugged and looked at his sister.

"Do you want to see her?" Rhaenyra broke the silence and pointed to the little girl in her arms. Aegon took a couple of steps to the bed and, with the help of his sister, climbed onto it. Big eyes looked at him, he couldn’t understand what color they were.

Perhaps he had not yet learned its name; playing with the sword was much more interesting than sitting in the chambers with the maester and listening to his boring sayings.

He also saw that her skin was slightly bluish. He remembered that Aemond also had a bluish tint, but after a couple of weeks he became pinker and ruddier. The next feature of her appearance was a pair of brown hairs, which he had never seen in his family. Aegon knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t explain it, and it didn’t matter to him. His nephew, Jace, was also dark-haired, and Aegon had sometimes heard his mother complain about it. He honestly didn't understand why Queen Alicent was worried about his hair color. It's just a color, isn't it?

Aegon wanted to touch reaching up to the girl’s plump cheeks, but suddenly froze, looking at his sister, mentally asking permission. Rhaenyra nodded warmly, and the little prince touched his cheek. It felt like the softest fluff, the newborn smiled her toothless smile and Aegon smiled back. Suddenly the girl squeezed the toddler's finger into her fist and started laughing.

“She seems to like you,” said the princess.

“What is her name?” Aegon asked his sister. Rhaenyra didn't know what to answer. She didn't discuss women's names. Yes, she always wanted to name her sister Visenya, but the wound from the loss of her mother and all her shattered dreams was still fresh. She didn't know what to answer and then looked at the young prince.

“What do you want to call her?”

Aegon thought only for a couple of seconds, because he knew the answer to this question. There was a name he loved and it intrigued him. How melodious it sounds and rolls off the tongue. He heard this name during lessons with the master, he was almost asleep, but when he heard the name he suddenly woke up. It was something from Andal legends.

“Y/N,” Aegon said proudly and smiled, the girl also smiled and drooled a few times. A few got on his hand and the young prince shook them off contemptuously. Rhaenyra just laughed at that.

"Sometimes children do disgusting things," Aegon declared.

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer Book Recommendations

Every once in a while I like sharing some queer book recommendations on here as I read a lot and I get requests to share some of the books I love, so here we go! 

Tell Me I'm Worthless: Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends Ila and Hannah. Since then, things have not been going well. Alice is living a haunted existence, selling videos of herself cleaning for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep. She hasn’t spoken to Ila since they went into the House. She hasn’t seen Hannah either.

Our Wives Under The Sea: Miri thinks she has got her wife back, when Leah finally returns after a deep sea mission that ended in catastrophe. It soon becomes clear, though, that Leah may have come back wrong. Whatever happened in that vessel, whatever it was they were supposed to be studying before they were stranded on the ocean floor, Leah has carried part of it with her, onto dry land and into their home. 

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty: Feyi Adekola wants to learn how to be alive again.It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now—an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career.

Silver Under Nightfall: Remy Pendergast is many things: the only son of the Duke of Valenbonne (though his father might wish otherwise), an elite bounty hunter of rogue vampires, and an outcast among his fellow Reapers. His mother was the subject of gossip even before she eloped with a vampire, giving rise to the rumors that Remy is half-vampire himself. Though the kingdom of Aluria barely tolerates him, Remy’s father has been shaping him into a weapon to fight for the kingdom at any cost.

Disintegrate/Dissociate: In her powerful debut collection of poetry, Arielle Twist unravels the complexities of human relationships after death and metamorphosis. In these spare yet powerful poems, she explores, with both rage and tenderness, the parameters of grief, trauma, displacement, and identity. Weaving together a past made murky by uncertainty and a present which exists in multitudes, Arielle Twist poetically navigates through what it means to be an Indigenous trans woman, discovering the possibilities of a hopeful future and a transcendent, beautiful path to regaining softness. 

The Perks of Loving a Wallflower: As a master of disguise, Thomasina Wynchester can be a polite young lady—or a bawdy old man. She’ll do whatever it takes to solve the cases her family takes on. But when Tommy’s beautiful new client turns out to be the highborn lady she’s secretly smitten with, more than her mission is at stake . . . 

It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror: Horror movies hold a complicated space in the hearts of the queer community: historically misogynist, and often homo- and transphobic, the genre has also been inadvertently feminist and open to subversive readings. Common tropes—such as the circumspect and resilient “final girl,” body possession, costumed villains, secret identities, and things that lurk in the closet—spark moments of eerie familiarity and affective connection. Still, viewers often remain tasked with reading themselves into beloved films, seeking out characters and set pieces that speak to, mirror, and parallel the unique ways queerness encounters the world. 

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture: Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong. The notion that everyone wants sex–and that we all have to have it–is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Alice Roberts (Pandora's Box)—I dunno if she was a star per se but she did this groundbreaking lesbian role in a very groundbreaking 1920 movie and she won my heart while doing so. And his 1920's butch style is on pointtt

Lillian Gish (The Wind, Broken Blossoms)—Known as "The First Lady of American Cinema," Lillian Gish was an Academy Award nominated actress that actually began her career as a child actor onstage in theater plays. She was a prominent actress during the silent film era and her ethereal beauty made her one of the most popular actresses of the time/ She was a favorite leading lady of famous director D.W. Griffith, starring in several of his films, including the controversial Birth of a Nation. She was known to go to extremes in preparing for roles, such as sustaining permanent nerve damage in her fingers on one hand after filming a scene in Way Down East where she fainted on an ice floe and kept her hand partially submerged in the frigid water. Her screams during the famous closet scene of Broken Blossoms were supposedly so realistic and horrific that tale has it that bystanders outside the studio had to be stopped from rushing in to help. She is listed on AFI's list of the greatest female stars of classic American Cinema and was awarded several honors during her career.

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

3/3/2024 EDIT: there has been a lot of discussion on this poll that I'm currently examining. Please read the propaganda carefully and weigh your options before voting.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Lillian Gish propaganda:

"I love her just. So so much."

"Was in (arguably) the first movie ever and yeah it was a crap movie but still. Also watch her in Broken Blossoms, man can she ACT (and if an actress is good at her craft it does in fact make me more horny for her)"

"she's literally everything to me i'm not even kidding. quite LITERALLY called the First Lady of American Cinema, she was a damn pioneer of silent movies and acting. she wrote! she directed! she is exactly what i think a fairy would look like actually. she slayed in The Wind. i mean. look at Her"

[jedischooldropout]

Rhaenyra’s Sexuality Adds More Context!🏳️‍🌈

Hello again, back with more opinions. I was thinking about Episode 2.06 and the reveal that Rhaenyra is also attracted to women. Some people are saying “this is out of nowhere.” It really isn’t.

In the first season, Rhaenyra brings Alicent to the dragon pit while she flies Syrax, even offers to take her for a spin, which Alicent refuses. Dragon riding is a very intimate thing. It’s a status of power for Targaryens and very exclusive. For Rhaenyra to offer that to Alicent, someone who is not a Targaryen, speaks volumes. She even mentions wanting to fly around the world with Alicent, enjoying life away from the throne.

Now, when Viserys reveals he will marry Alicent, Rhaenyra’s reaction seems more intense than expected. Yes, she feels lied to and it’s VERY gross to think of your father marrying your best friend. However, she harbors such animosity towards Alicent and towards baby Aegon, this to me screams jealously. She’s furious that the woman she loves is married to her father and is having his children. I also believe that Rhaenyra’s coldness towards Aegon also has to do with the succession, but I think the heart of it is that every time she looked at Aegon reminded her of Alicent fucking someone else. I think Rhaenyra would feel this way towards anyone who married Alicent.

This also raises the question why Alicent had no suitors before Viserys. Yes, Otto was grooming his daughter for the throne. However, in medieval times, if you were a lady-in-waiting for a Princess, it was part of the Princess’s job to find you a suitable match. How come Rhaenyra didn’t do this for Alicent?

Rhaenyra’s search for a suitor also highlights the fact that she loved Alicent. On her tour, she only travels for a couple months and in the end insults the men who put their names forward and returns home immediately. After she returns home, she reconciled with Alicent! She acknowledges that Alicent didn’t have much of a choice in what happened. It’s like she had a realization after experiencing being a pawn in the suitors own motivations that she realizes what Alicent went through.

Now, the catalyst of this whole thing: the accusation. I truly believe this is what causes the Dance because when Alicent hears of Rhaenyra’s dalliance with Daemon, she is furious. She is not coming to Rhaenyra as a friend, concerned for her reputation and offering to help her; she is coming to her as a woman scorned and demanding if the accusations are true. It reminded me of seeing couples accusing each other of cheating. I know Alicent’s whole thing is about duty and honor, but her reaction is way more intense than just approaching a friend about a one night stand. It becomes Alicent’s mission to prove Rhaenyra’s promiscuity, like a suspicious partner checking their partner’s phone. It’s after this that Alicent splits the family apart and makes it her mission to take the throne from Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra also did everything in her power to avoid a war. She offers a marriage between Jace and Helaena. Her reckless plan to talk to Alicent in King’s Landing shows just how much she still loves Alicent and wants to reconcile. The fact Alicent didn’t turn her in also shows how much she still loves her.

I think Rhaenyra was bi-sexual this whole time and her love for Alicent motivated her to spurn her half-siblings. Meanwhile Alicent’s closeted feelings for Rhaenyra caused her to harbor anger towards her. If these two women had just kissed, they would be one happy family right now 🤷‍♀️

GIF from @gameofthrones

[o-solemioo]

HIHIHIII 😼!! hru?

anway, idk if you write hc’s or not, but can you do one with feminine male reader x cullen family? like r dresses feminine (biker shorts, crop-tops, skirts, bb belts, dresses, his style is like coquette , etc,,), he’s a vampire, and he is close with the family (a haram for him maybe.)

if not a haram, a platonic setting where they see him as family and sees him as a son/little brother,,

hi anon,

i'm good, thanks! and thank you for your ask. i'm a bit out of practice writing headcanons, so forgive me if this is a little rough around the edges, and maybe a little cringey. (also again this might be a bit short as i'm still getting back into the hang of writing.)

you are loved,

๏siris ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

— headcanons; feminine male reader

☾ pairing: cullen family x effeminate!male!reader

☾ summary: just some headcanons

☾ warnings: 2nd person (you), polyamorous relationship(?), implied bi/pan reader, bimbo-adjacent reader, very flamboyant reader, reader gets hatecrimed(?), nothing inherently sexual but some slightly suggestive themes, not proofread.

☾ w๏rd c๏unt: 846

---

☾ You moved to Forks when you were quite young, as your family needed to get away from "big city" life.

☾ You were actually able to express yourself very freely for such a small town.

☾ Even as a little kid, there was something just a little bit more feminine about you.

☾ And when you were finally able to understand yourself and your taste, that's when it began.

☾ The women's section was your favourite area of any store, and to you, it was just so much nicer than men's clothes.

☾ By the time the Cullens rolled into town in your sophmore year, you were regularly wearing skirts to school. You got teased for it, sure, but it all seemed to roll off of you. You were just so sure of yourself; so confident. And it drew the Cullens in like moths to a flame.

☾ Alice noticed you first; your style was so cute, and she needed to ask where you got that adorable purple top from. She started sitting next to you in class more and you could tell she started developing a small crush on you.

☾ You didn't mind her company, she was so kind that it didn't even matter. You studied and hung out at your house often. When she invited you to *her* house, though, that's when everything turned real for you.

☾ Esme and Carlisle just adored you, and while Rosalie and Edward seemed to show a bit of disdain, Alice assured you that they just needed to warm up to you.

☾ Jasper and Emmet loved to tease you, asking you whether you were a boy or a girl. not that they cared, they "just wanted to know".

☾ Life couldn't be better. You had a nice group of friends, good grades at school, and an impeccable sense of style, at least for 2003.

☾ Some boys visiting from the town over for a volleyball game found you, and they weren't as accepting as your nice little group. Everything happened so quickly that by the time you awoke, you were surrounded by the Cullens.

☾ It had already been a week. They were scared you "weren't going to make it", whatever that meant. You were still just waking up when Carlisle announced that he had no choice, and that you had been turned.

☾ Of course you were devastated. Your family, friends, everything, stripped away from you in almost an instant. For weeks, Alice was your only source of comfort.

☾ When you were finally feeling more comfortable, you moved in with the Cullens under the guise of simple roommates.

☾ Things began happening at random. Items of clothing started appearing in your closet when you hadn't bought anything. Your favourite music and movies would be playing whenever you were home. Eventually, you realized it was everyone trying to make you feel more comfortable.

☾ And soon enough, you were comfortable again. Your style as well as you became more effeminate than it already was with the knowledge of how easy it was to defend yourself.

☾ Rosalie was actually the first person to make a romantic move toward you. She enjoyed your confidence with your cotton candy pinks and your bows and pearl necklaces, and flamboyant personality. She couldn't resist and asked you out on a date.

☾ It ended up being more of a vacation to Seattle, with Emmett and Jasper tagging along. When they saw how Rosalie was treating you, they immediately knew it would be a one-up contest from that point on.

☾ When Alice and Edward finally caught on, it seemed like there was a new clothing item or accessory in your wardrobe every day.

☾ Luckily, it wasn't just that. Edward often bought you CD's and Alice bought you books. Emmett bought you whatever was available, usually bags and pins that he thought you would like. Jasper usually found the best jewelry for you, and Rosalie took care of the clothes, as your style let her experiment a little more with fashion design.

☾ You were one of the very few people who's mind Edward doesn't mind reading. Sometimes this can get a bit carried away...

☾ Jasper also enjoys messing with your emotions every so often, which has led to a few interesting encounters. But, when you're feeling down, he's immediately there to make you feel better.

☾ Carlisle and Esme mostly stay off to the sidelines. However, Esme loves to bake with you; not to eat, obviously, but fundraisers are all the rage, and who doesn't love a good bake sale? She's a kinesthetic learner, so it doesn't surprise you when her hands start to wander a bit.

☾ Carlisle can be a bit of a bore sometimes with all of his technical talk, but you always listen when he tells you about his day. He's willing to do whatever you want, too; and when he eyes you up and down every so often, you smile and pretend not to notice.

☾ All in all, you've found your place easily with the Cullens, and while it's definitely unconventional, all you care about is that you're happy. After a long time, you finally are.

---

sorry for the long wait ! i got a bit caught up in life :/ but there should be a bit more of an influx in posts soon :D

[dykesynthezoid]

The idea of Alice being aware on some level that Daniel is a closet case even before they get married is crazy esp bc it’s not like HE knows huh. I almost prefer that to her having no idea what it is that makes him so distant, bc I think it actually grants her more agency and humanizes her if she knew that maybe she shouldn’t stay with this guy, and then she did anyway.

Like I’m used to feeling bad for Alice in the armandaniel fics she appears in, and I probably still would either way bc Daniel can be a piece of work, but her knowing that Daniel “”struggles”” w his sexuality??? It’s such a good layer to add. Bc also, frankly, the wives of men like that usually do know to an extent. But they don’t necessarily want to believe it. And maybe they let themselves be convinced, be persuaded that no, really, that’s all in the past, it’s not like that, etc. But they always kind of know.

[lullaebies]

Absolutely love your blog! If you're still taking Jaehaera/Aegon III requests what about one where they're in a secret relationship and are keeping it from their families but some shenanigans ensue (maybe they snuck out or something, or someone walked in on them kissing?) and they're somehow discovered? Also please overprotective father Aegon II because yes!

(Preferably an AU where the Dance happens later?)

The gathering in the room feels like a court of thorns, and Jaehaera feels as if she is going to hurl. Standing by her family with her grandmother looking at all around with hawk eyes, she feels if something is about to implode. Aegon had been taken from her side to his mother’s, Princess Rhaenyra. The heiress to the Throne had been most wroth, her, her husband, and her sons waking in the middle of the night for this… issue.

The worst of it all, Jaehaerys had been still laughing with damn near tears in his eyes while telling what he witnessed. She had begged him to leave it be, but then he and Aegon got into an altercation, and now… Ugh!

“So I enter her room because I left my book there—” he looks at Princess Rhaenyra and her family, particularly Aegon. “It was my room once too, do mind— and what do I see if not Aegon the Younger pining my sister against her own closet? The closet, grandmother. He didn’t have the mind to get her against a bed.”

She’s going to choke him.

“Oh, fuck off,” Aegon yells at her twin. “As if she hasn’t told me about you becoming a damn near Rosby stableboy in your visits there—”

Princess Rhaenyra pushes him back to his half-brothers, the lot of the brown haired boys holding their brother of nine and ten, yet only his father manages to stare him down. On the other hand, her father had been gritting his teeth beside her, while mother held onto Jaehaerys’s forearm in warning. Alicent gives her twin a pointed look.

“Mind your words, Jaehaerys,” she says, and turns to look at Rhaenyra and her family. “Prince Aegon, would you mind explaining how you came into my granddaughter's rooms?” 

Aegon licks his lips, and Jaehaera swallows. The story is longer than both of them would be able to admit. Despite the blood feud of the families, they had managed to talk last year at the ball for her and Jaehaerys five and tenth nameday. Even went on a joint ride with Morghul and Stormcloud, and before he left for Dragonstone, they decided on a day to meet again at the Kingswood. Such meetings repeated. They could only afford a day a moon, but those days were all so sweet. Did she do anything wrong? Yes, had been the objective answer, but she couldn’t care for it.

And here he is, in her very own home. They could hardly speak by their family, how could she not ask for a moment of privacy?

Rhaenyra rubs her temples. “Things like these happen at this age, Alicent,” she says. “You are stressing Jaehaera and Aegon both.”

Alicent furrows her brows. “Oh, these things do happen at this age, don’t they?” she asks, glaring. “We had known since we were her age how reputation matters in finding marriage. Your son is three years her elder and should know not to fiddle with a noble girl’s corset strings at the hour of the bat.”

Jaehaera feels some tears well up in her eyes. She doesn’t care for the embarrassment of being caught by now, but this makes her feel a fool. It had been nothing insidious, was it? They hadn’t even kissed until they celebrated the new year. She hadn’t lost her chastity, either. It is not just…

“He came into those rooms because your granddaughter let him in, Queen Alicent,” Prince Daemon says. “You should mind her doings before you lay judgement on my son’s.”

Jaehaera’s father had been standing quiet for the longest while, but with that he flares. “Men had been sent to the wall and got castrated for less, Uncle. If you don’t like my mother’s judgement, perhaps I should see to it?”

She holds onto her father’s arm. Please, let this stop. 

Daemon eyes him dangerously. “See to your own misgivings,” he says. “Your own son laughs at your daughter's.”

“Father, please,” Jaehaera says, when Aegon the Elder tries and almost manages to escape her grip. Her mother and brother come quickly beside them. Her mother stands in front of her father and puts a hand on his chest, warning, while Jaehaerys comes to Jaehaera’s side, a wroth smirk thrown at their grand-uncle’s way.

“I am laughing at my sister’s choices, grand uncle. At least if it had been Viserys, he has my aunt’s pretty face,” he says, backing their father for once. They often argue, but at times they work together, they prove they’re made of the same cloth. “The Seven had laughed at Aegon giving him yours.”

Daemon starts stepping towards them. “You think you are a jester, you defected—”

Prince Jacaerys comes against his step-father to stop him from coming forward, the same ways her mother has to stop her father from doing the same. Her grandmother and Princess Rhaenyra had come to yell at one another, and even the kingsguard had come to get involved. Jaehaera’s body is reduced to shaking, fat tears fully sliding down her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly between gentle sobs, the sleeves of a dishevelled dress wiping against her face again and again to try and catch all the tears. Only the family beside her hears, so loud were the voices in the room. Her brother and father turn around, with similarly apprehensive faces. “Please, please stop..”

Behind them, from the other side of the room, Aegon sees her in her pathetic state too. She never was the emotional type, and she had oft hoped he liked it for he had been none too different. The unusual petrification on his face makes her blood feel as if it is running dry, and it feels all gone when the dark amethyst of his eyes fall into what she could only call resigned acceptance.

Aegon, her Aegon, comes by his mother and her grandmother, holding Princess Rhaenyra’s arm. “It was my fault. We didn’t mean to… I took it too far,” he finally says. “I won’t come by her any more, Queen Alicent.”

It hurts more than anything else he could’ve said.

Her mother pushes their father aside to cloak her in an embrace. Jaehaera can only tremble and sob against her mother’s robe.

The room grows silent as Princess Rhaenyra and Queen Alicent agree to not tell The King or all else of the incident; so ill had been King Viserys, it had not been worth ailing her grandfather further with this issue when he had been on the brink of passing. 

All is to be forgotten, and cast away. Jaehaera’s puffy eyes lift from her mother’s shoulder, and catch his gaze one last time before he leaves. He tries to mouth something, but is pushed by his family out of the room.

Jaehaera sinks against her mother again. Even if she banishes the days in the green Kingswood from her thoughts, the scent of the campfire charring wood black will live in her dreams.

[cherrytea556]

The closeted aroace experience

i'm glad i have friends I can be open about with my identity or otherwise, it would be so isolating. Being closeted really does limit you no joke. When I was at the bookstore, there was 'loveless' by alice osman and i was considering buying it but it's back cover explicitly saying the words 'aromantic' and 'asexual' made me hesitate in case my mom or dad catch me and they see those words in the back cover. It's a shame because I know they don't even know those words and at least one of them would think it's not real and i don't want to deal with that. But with my friends, i'm able to express myself and be more open with my identity like it's nothing, if i lived by my own, i would've purchased that book.

An interesting thing too about closetivity is utilising subtle signs to express queerness. I used my aro bracelet to express my aro identity subtly but today, i also wore the asexual colours to openly express my identity (plus purchased the rainbow keychain as another subtle sign all because it had a purple strip in it and there was no purple bracelet or black ring) Something about subtle signs of queerness feels so liberating, especially when you know their not gonna get it.

And being closeted will make you really yearn for the barest minimum. Bigots and pick me gays will whine about how the lgbt is asking for 'too much' meanwhile, I'm sitting here still yearning that my parents will just say 'okay' when i would come out to them as aroace and not try to blame it on the internet, say it's not actually real, try to call it bullshit, use the fact that i'm young etc...Seriously, i'm not asking for much, all I want is to be accepted for who I am. That should be enough and easy to do but it's so hard for many.

[peterswonderland]

Introduction

By now, we all have our opinions of The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. It has received mixed reviews from critics to fans alike.

In the Gaylor community, many have dubbed it her “straightest album,” which I am inclined to agree with. BUT.

If you do not like Gaylor or Swiftgron content, feel free to block and/or keep scrolling!

I’ve seen and read theories for years. In this post I will be referencing the Swiftgron Masterpost. I’m also an avid listener of the What I Will Say podcast. (No one affiliated with the podcast is involved with this post, and for all I know might disagree with it entirely. However, I will be referencing the masterpost at points, and it is only fair to give credit where credit is due.)

This is celebrity gossip, and everything is alleged. I do not know Taylor or Dianna. This is alleged (don't sue me, tysm!)

Peter is…Dianna?

Halfway through my first listen of “Peter,” I was fully convinced this song was about Dianna. That Peter was Dianna.

First, I will go through the lyrics that most pointedly seem Dianna-coded to me.

Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar Preserved from when we were just kids Is it somethin' I did?

Taylor references closets in “seven” on folklore:

And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet

Cedar closets are used as a "safe haven" to put valuable items in. The closet has preserved everything from when Taylor and the muse were "just kids" (likely meaning their early twenties.) Shoutout to Kristin in the WIWS Discord for mentioning this!

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Another interpretation I found on Genius mentioned that the closet line in “Peter” could also be a reference to another fantasy story, The Chronicles of Narnia, wherein stepping into a closet revealed a new fantasy world. This fantasy narrative ties in with “Peter”/Peter Pan and “Wonderland”/Alice in Wonderland, which we’ll get to in a second.

The line “And I think you should come live with/Me and we can be pirates” can also be connected to Peter Pan. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys often have to fight off Captain Hook and his pirates. There are also theories that pirates/Captain Hook are old Lost Boys. TL/DR: Old lost boys are either killed by Peter Pan or can choose to become Lost Boys…at least by these fans’ interpretations. A weak link I know, but still an interesting one. 

“We can be pirates” because you’ve been forced to grow up too quickly…? Hm.

Further connecting “seven” to “Peter” is the idea of being just kids, although in “seven” it seems to be more literal, while in “Peter” she might be referring to when she and Dianna actually met: Taylor was ~20 years old, and Dianna was ~24. 

From “Peter”:

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things, Peter But life was always easier on you Than it was on me

Dianna is stunning, and has often been referred to as a scene stealer.

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“When we cast Dianna as Quinn, she ruined the part for me,” Murphy says. “She was supposed to be the Cybill Shepherd, Last Picture Show cunt, so to speak, but she humanized it. She can cry at the drop of a hat. So now her character has a conscience, a soul and great vulnerability.” Ryan Murphy, Rolling Stone. Credit

Credit (Shoutout to ellie from the WIWS Discord server for bringing the TCA nominations for "Female Scene Stealer" to my attention!)

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More from “Peter”:

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return

I viewed this through a queer lens upon first listen; the definition of masqueraded (verb) is “to go about disguised/to assume the appearance of something one is not.”

When Taylor sings “as the men masqueraded, I hope you’d return,” the you is implied to not be a man. 

We’ll circle back to lamps burning/lights in Part 2.

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Dianna was twenty-five when she and Taylor allegedly began dating.

Dianna, through multiple interviews and her old tumblr blog (that often mentioned children’s fantasies and stories), seems to cherish her inner child and not be in any rush to “grow up.”

From an interview for Galore Magazine in 2014:

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There are also Dianna’s frequent posts on Tumblr about fairytales and children’s stories - this could lend itself to the idea she was living a “Lost Boy’s life.” More on that later.

But the woman who sits by the window Has turned out the light

Again, there is a reference to light, which is a theme (amongst many) we will visit in Part 2 of this analysis.

These lyrics draw natural parallels to Disney’s animated Peter Pan film, wherein Peter Pan visits the Darling children through their window. Wendy is seen sitting by the window, yearning for something more.

In another TTPD track about windows, “I Look in People’s Windows,” there are obvious parallels to “Peter.” These parallels are so strong that I believe these songs are almost certainly about the same person.

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In “cardigan” from folklore, Taylor seems to categorize herself as Wendy and an unknown muse as Peter.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

More “cardigan” parallels will be drawn in Part 2. Part 1 is focusing on “Peter” itself as well as its tie ins to another TTPD song, “I Look in People’s Windows.”

I Peter Looks in People’s Windows

Connecting “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows” is almost too easy, yet I didn’t catch it on my first few listens. Let’s break it down.

The images referenced above show that windows are a central plot point to Peter Pan. Waiting by the window symbolizes yearning for something more, something magical. Wendy is waiting for something more: for Peter’s return. We can draw parallels between Wendy’s window and the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland: a portal to something whimsical and dangerous.

If you’re new here, “Wonderland” from 1989 is known to many as one of Taylor’s most blatant songs about a woman: Dianna Agron. I encourage you to read this portion of the Swiftgron masterpost if you’re new or need a refresher!

Sit and Wait, Sit and Wait

The first theme we’ll discuss is longing/yearning. Both in “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows,” Taylor conveys a strong sense of yearning for a person with whom a relationship has permanently died, despite her hopes.

From “Peter”:

The goddess of timing Once found us beguiling She said she was trying Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feelin' she did And I didn't want to come down I thought it was just goodbye for now

/

Said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Words from the mouths of babes Promises oceans deep But never to keep

/

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried To hold onto the days when you were mine (Hold onto the days) But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

The woman (Taylor) who sat by the window has given up hope (turned out the light.)

Also, fun fact about "my ribs get the feeling she did": Dianna Agron removed a Wonderland tattoo after the song "Wonderland" was released. Guess where the tattoo was?

On. Her. RIBS.

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"We're all mad here."

Also, "What will we become? We become ourselves," is a quote from poet Patti Smith. Yes, the same Patti Smith referenced in the title track for The Tortured Poets Department. (Thanks to thea from the WIWS discord for pointing out the Patti Smith connection to me!)

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(Shoutout to reddit user aztraps for pointing out the rib lyric to me!)

The themes of yearning continue on “I Look in People’s Windows” during essentially the entire song, but here are some highlights:

A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing so

I'd be remiss not to mention that Peter Pan, throughout many adaptations, is known for his feather in his cap. 

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The Paradise of Peter Pan by Edward Mason Eggleston, 1934

You might notice in this painting that Peter looks like...well, a woman (stereotypically and historically!) The character of Peter Pan is normally played by a woman on stage and is often depicted with female features. This makes Dianna being Peter even more...suspicious.

More from “I Look in People’s Windows”:

I look in people's windows In case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time

This is a love that is ended, yet Taylor can’t help but wonder what might happen if flames rekindled. 

I know what you’re thinking – Taylor Swift isn’t walking around random neighborhoods peering into neighbor’s windows. You’d be right (hopefully.) This song is a metaphor, in my view, for “insta-stalking” or social media “stalking” an ex, constantly checking up on them to see what they’re up to, who they’re with. She checks mutual friends’ pages, looking to see if she sees her love (Dianna) “at their table” (with them.)

The real question is - why use windows as the metaphor for internet stalking your ex? Perhaps to tie it into another song about that same ex?

More "ILIPW" lyrics:

I tried searching faces on streets What are the chances you'd be Downtown, downtown, downtown Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only"

Taylor is YEARNING for this person. She also seems to be unable to believe this person has been able to seemingly move on without her (just like Peter has.)

In “Peter,” Taylor’s relationship didn’t turn out as she hoped. She hoped this person would come back, and they didn’t. (“Come Back…Be Here” anyone??? PART TWO)

“I Look in People’s Windows” highlights the fact that Taylor has not completely moved on. As she goes about her daily life, she still “peers in people’s windows” (checks instagram/twitter/etc.) for this person. IT’S THE SAME MUSE!!! (Allegedly.)

In addition, the line: “I'm addicted to the "if only"” is especially interesting given Dianna’s interesting response to rumors of dating Taylor in a May 2023 (!!!) Rolling Stone article:

The theme of waiting is also important to discuss. In “Peter,” Taylor is waiting for someone who said they would grow up and find her; she’s sitting by the window waiting for them. In “ILIPW,” Taylor is looking through windows waiting for this person’s eyes to meet “mine one more time.” Both songs have this sense of sit and wait, sit and wait, sit and wait.

Taylor looking into people's windows and obsessing over gatherings where the muse might be in attendance reflects a sense of longing and yearning, reminiscent of Wendy's yearning in Peter Pan to reconnect with Peter despite being unable to bridge the gap between their realities:

Lyrics from “Peter”:

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon In different galaxies

Eternal Youth

More from “I Look in People’s Windows”:

I look in people's windows Transfixed by rose golden glows

To view something in rose colored glasses is to see something in “favorably disposed opinions : optimistic eyes.” 

One could compare this to the rose colored glasses Wendy takes on when visiting Neverland, or when Alice visits Wonderland. (Again, we will be reviewing Wonderland’s connection amongst many other songs in connection to “Peter”/“ILIPW” in Part 2.) Both of these fairytales cater to the inner child and youth.

The theme of eternal youth in “Peter”, based on the fairytale of Peter Pan, is self explanatory, and I don’t feel the need to go into detail in this already MASSIVE post.

For this example, we’re going with the theory that “Peter” and “ILIPW” are inspired by the same muse/relationship. “ ILIPW’s” theme of yearning can be interpreted through the lens of Wendy's relationship with Peter—a story that encapsulates the longing for eternal youth (which Taylor writes about in “22” on Red, a song that is DEDICATED TO DIANNA, the pain of growing up, and the poignant realization that some connections are meant to remain in the realm of dreams and memories.

Rediscover Your Sense of Wonder

Peter appears unexpectedly and at random to seemingly bring a sense of magic and wonder to those around him, including Wendy and her siblings. Peter visiting the Darling children through their window symbolizes the allure of escapism, especially for someone like Taylor who cannot lead a normal life, and the desire to remain forever young.

“ILIPW,” if you allow the interpretation that it is intrinsically connected to “Peter,” indicates a longing to recapture, if anything, the innocence and adventure embodied by Peter/the muse. Taylor’s fixation on windows is a search for moments of enchantment and wonder that the Peter muse gave her.

If we follow this line of thinking and allow Dianna to be the muse of “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows,” it’s very interesting that the song canonically dedicated to Dianna centers around the very idea of youth and wonder: “22” from Red, as seen in the Rolling Stone piece mentioned above.

From “22”:

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time It's miserable and magical / It seems like one of those nights We ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming Instead of sleeping / Everything will be alright If we just keep dancing like we're 22

Tumblr / felldowntherabbithole

Dianna once had a tumblr with the url felldowntherabbithole. While I searched what archives I could find, it was quite overwhelming, and I didn’t get through many of her posts throughout the years she was active. However, I will mention posts I did find that showcased her interest in fairytales, and why Taylor might choose one (or two…“Wonderland,” anyone?) as inspiration for songs she has written about Dianna.

FIRST: This old post was found by Cam from whatiwillsay. She is not affiliated with this post and did not endorse it. However, I was unable to find this screenshot myself on the Wayback Machine, so I want to give her credit for finding this post on Dianna’s blog:

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Now, onto some screenshots I found myself of Dianna’s love of fairytales, all courtesy of the Wayback Machine:

References from bottom to top: Goodnight Moon, Dr. Suess, Alice in Wonderland, Little Red Riding Hood, Underland (a retelling of Alice in Wonderland)

Part Two

PART TWO is here!

If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions, I’m more than ready to hear your thoughts!

Part Two will cover "Peter" and "ILIPW's" connections to other songs associated with Dianna.

Part 3 will cover anything I missed that I didn't feel I could edit into Part 1 or 2, as well as some more reach-y theories that I still feel deserve an honorable mention!

This post will be edited for grammatical and factual errors as necessary, as well as adding more evidence I feel needs to be included in this post.

[dulcewrites]

Fool Me Once (part 6)

Pairing(s): Aemond Targaryen x reader (kind of lol), Aegon ii x reader, Rhaenyra x Alicent if you squint

Summary: You unlock new information as you descend for Dragonstone

A/N: sooo we are getting into the fun part (imo).. the character study and canon divergence! Just fair warning that this story is not going to go exactly like f&b or like the show. There will be elements taken from both. Can go ahead and let y’all know this will not be about who sits in the end, but more the chaos to get there. This also means different povs which is exciting. This chapter is sort of prepping everything for the next phase 😎

Fmo masterlist

“This seems like a convoluted plan, just for end goal for Aegon to be King,” Helaena sits in the middle of you chambers watching you pack.

“It is not about Aegon being king,” you reply, inspecting one your dresses. You scrunch you nose up and put it back in the closet. Perhaps it is best to stay away from green during your stay.

It may not be the story you told the Hand when he gave you the go ahead to leave. He thinks this whole plot is to lure Rhaenyra into a false sense of hope. Have her taste the thing she has wanted for so long before she fails miserably. This goes far beyond Aegon at this point. Him being king would just be a unexpected change. The rightful choice in the eyes of some. The crumbling of the realm in others.

“Upsetting the succession now could lead to upheaval,” Helaena does not seem to believe you.

“Do you really think I care about Rhaenyra’s reign when my kids are involved?”

It comes out more snappy than you intended. Helaena’s shoulders drop a bit. You know Helaena is just as protective over her kids as you are of yours. If there was a chance to strike the people who hurt them, she’d take the same shot. But, you know she is worried about what Aegon being king means for her family. You sigh and run your hand over your face. Putting down the clothes, you walk and sit next to her.

“We have given ourselves enough for this family and for the realm,” you whisper. “I am done with that.”

It sounds bratty, and selfish. You have given up so much, so has Helaena and Alicent, and yet you all are still expected to take things with a smile. Pretty, accommodating, and benevolent that you have the Targaryen name. Or in your case, that you can marry someone with that last name and everything that comes with it.

If you take the swing and miss, so be it. Sitting idle while those walk all over you has done nothing but put you and your children’s safety in danger. Your natural softness taken for weakness.

“And… Queen Helaena does not have bad ring to it,” you nudge her playfully, and she snorts in reply.

“Maybe Aemond will be king, and you’ll be queen,” it’s said in a teasing tone but then she grows a bit serious. “Aegon would probably give it up… if he got something in return.”

An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. Neither of them are ready to rule, but then again who is. Aegon would make a charismatic, even forbearing king; he has a disarming way about him that would work in his favor. Though, his inability to check his emotions would get in the way. He goes by the sound of his heart, and whims of his desires. Aemond, your painfully pragmatic husband, would rule dogmatically. But his inability to emote or to be empathetic would make him volatile… maybe even cruel.

Then you have Rhaenyra, the Realm’s Delight. Even from when you were young, all you ever heard was how lovely she is. Never how smart or capable she is to rule; it always went back to her beauty and her fiery nature. You still do not know if that was her unfortunate lot in life because of her gender or rather no one can praise her readiness, because she simply is not. And her case is not helped in your eyes with someone like Daemon in her corner.

One thing they do share is an incompetent father, so any hopes for learning how it is done was quickly diminished. Sitting on the Iron Throne may not be something that can be taught. Viserys came after Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s long reign. A reign considered to be a successful one, and Viserys seemingly picked up nothing about being proactive.

You take a good look at Helaena. If it someone you will whole heartedly miss while away, it is your good sister. Helaena, who is everything good about the Targaryen name: warm, loyal, and untamed. But also kind, and way more analytical than people give her credit for. Helaena the Dreamer… Helaena the Great.

“We could make it so you could rule.”

She gives your proposition a scrunched up face, and laugher. Sharp and bright. You know she has no desire to rule, but you can not help but think she would be good at it.

“If that is the case, you have to rule with me,” she takes your hand with a soft smile.

You imagine a world where all the men have rode off to fight their war. The women left to rule over a piles of ash, tired small folk, and elusive nobility. Two queens - just you, Helaena, and the children.

What a life to live.

A knock on the door interrupts Aemond’s reading.

“Do not come in,” he does not even look up from the book. Despite his wishes, a head of short silvery hair pops in. “I said do not come in.”

Aegon pays his brother no mind, breezily waltzing into Aemond’s study. He sits in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk with a sigh, as if he was begrudgingly summoned. Aemond tries to go back to reading, but it is hard to when his brother is staring at him expectedly.

Large, expecting eyes boring into him. He hates how much he looks like their mother in certain lights.

“What,” he finally snaps, and Aegon just smiles softly. In that warm way that makes people feel like they can let their guard down. Aegon always had way of making people feel like they are in on the joke he about to tell. Aemond has learned not to fall for the smile; he’s been on the other side of the joke too much to trust it.

“Are you going to see your wife off,” Aegon keeps his tone even, not giving anything away. His voice lifting a bit when he says wife.

Aemond tries equally hard not to let his mask slip. “No, she said it would better to do that behind closed doors.”

Something about him sending you off would defeat the purpose of it looking like you are upset enough to leave. Aemond had felt his eye glaze over a bit when you were explaining everything. When he first lost his eye, he would get head-splitting headaches. He hated taking milk of the poppy for them. Criston would tell him to turn his brain off, try not to think of the pain.

He finds himself still doing it to this day. Whenever he feels that tingle in the back of head, he clears his mind. For someone who constantly has things racing through his mind, he has gotten surprisingly good at it.

He had felt a cool hand on his forehead. You have that look in your eye you had said, hand traveling towards his cheek. You do that to Daella and Alaric too. He does not know if it a mother thing, or just a you thing.

It broke him out of his self-inflicted daze, just like how Aegon’s humming interrupts his thoughts of you now.

“I suppose that is best,” Aegon leans back in the seat casually. Aemond just sighs, waiting for the next stone to turn. He knows his brother did not come just to ask that especially when he could have just asked you himself.

Aegon seems to be lit from within. As each day passes, his brother shifts into a different person. The difference makes it hard for anyone to be upset at the cause of Aegon’s new attitude. A happy Aegon is not something anyone should take for granted.

“Is that all,” Aemond would like to get out of this conversation with his headspace in tact. The disarming charm of Aegon is often followed by deep disappointment.

Even with Aegon’s new disposition, the two of them still cannot see things the same. The deeply hidden flickers of hope Aemond has for reconcilement between him and his brother leave his body slowly but surely. It is better that way. Hold no hope, and the let down never comes.

The mirth that radiates off Aegon switches quickly.

“I just hope it was all worth it in the end,” his tone is sharp, and cold. Aemond instinctively flitches as Aegon’s large eyes bore into him. He hates how much Aegon looks like their mother in certain lights. It feels like he’s being scolded by her.

“But then again, how could it be? You have been living a great love affair that turns out to be a farce,” Aemond’s eye twitches a bit. “It is something I have always loved about you, brother. You always do things with all your might. No half battles for you; even in your fuck ups.”

And he hates how deeply his brother makes him feel. Skin crawling childhood memories rush over him. If it is one thing Aemond hates, it is the feeling of being backed into a corner.

“No whore, and wife and children to descend away with our sister and her bastards.”

For a moment, Aemond thinks about lunging over the desk at Aegon. But he knows exerting strength over Aegon does nothing now, not the way it did many moons ago when Aemond had his growth spurt. Just another notch in the post of things that made the brothers resent each other.

That reason seems silly compared to the others.

He knows Aegon is not just doing this for you, he enjoys the taunting in the way only a brother would. The same way only siblings would worry and focus on what one has over the other. A childish mindset that neither of them grown out of unfortunately.

They will always measure themselves against each other. Aegon with Aemond’s relationship with their mother. Aemond watching Aegon squander and relinquish any want for power or duty that could be attached to his name. And now you.

The words crawl up Aemond’s throat, and itch his tongue. He wants to say it so badly, what he has been thinking about ever since a couple of nights ago.

“You never even wanted her till she was upset with me,” Aemond blurts. He sounds like child. How he did when he would go to Alicent, near tears, when he was younger.

When he was young, he dreamed for the day to be older, more reassured, not to feel so small. Now he is older, and free feeling he wanted still had not come. Sometimes Aemond has to pinch himself. On the arm, on his thigh, or even on the stomach; he must remind himself that he was not one and ten anymore. He is a man grown.

Some days the pinching works. Or he hears Alaric’s babbling in the room, and he brought back to reality. He is painfully grounded to the situation when he looks at his children. Other days, like today, he thinks of you and prays for the days when he was younger and his biggest worry was gaining a dragon.

A thought he never expected to have.

Occasionally, he wishes he were Helaena. His sister has expressed the grief that comes with her visions, but Aemond would gladly switch places. If it is one thing their foolish father was right about, it is that the power of dragons is nothing compared to the power of prophecy. A dragon cannot makeup for the pure magic that has been left behind. Alys taught him that as well.

He pinches himself extra hard at thought of her.

If he could master the magic of his ancestors, he could go back and change so many things. He wonders how much good he could do… or how much damage.

Aegon does not bother to give Aemond a rebuttal to that comment. Just lets the easy smile he had on before reappear on his face. He can tell by the look on Aemond’s face that he is unraveling. Aegon might gotten their mother’s face, but Aemond got her ability to be a prisoner to their own thoughts.

“We just better hope not a single hair on her head is harmed while she is there.”

Aegon gets up and leaves after that. They important part is left unsaid and implied. I’ll come after you if she gets hurt. This is your fault.

Aemond knows his brother will just be one person in a line of people who would want his head if this all blows up in your face. That is alright.

Perhaps the brothers do have one thing in common. If something does happen, he just might beat everyone to the punch on that one.

You had expected Otto to tell Alicent about you going to Dragonstone. But, the worried look she gave you when you mentioned it told you otherwise.

It affirmed to you that he was going to leave his daughter in the dark for as long as possible. You could not decipher if it was for her feelings and safety or because he knew Alicent would shut down any activity that could be seen as treasonous to Rhaenyra’s claim.

It took Rhaenyra, who Alicent had convinced to stay a few more days, telling her that it was Baela and Rhaena’s idea to calm Alicent’s anxious attitude. Reiterating that it would be nice to have you and Daella around to balance out the male energy at Dragonstone. The lie slid out of Rhaenyra’s mouth with ease. She had given you a knowing look.

You knew better than to think Rhaenyra would tell Alicent it was because of Aemond, the reason she believes, but the easy nature in which she deceives Alicent does make you sad.

The easy nature in which everyone deceives Alicent makes you sad. And now even you are not above that.

To get rid of that sick feeling in your stomach, you convince yourself Alicent knows better than to believe everything that comes out of Rhaenyra’s mouth. The same way you believe Rhaenyra knows better than to tell Alicent the whole truth. This is how their relationship is. Half truths and arguments. Pining and pushing. You can tell by the way they smile at one another that in the end it will always be them for each other; lies and all.

Sadism and Masochism in a different kind of way.

“The King and I will miss seeing the kids,” Alicent remarked.

You had to hold back a grimace. Daella and Jaehaera would often go and see their grandsire, at his behest. Hear him ramble on and on about whatever he could remember that day; often old histories. Daella has told you she hated it because he ‘smelled foul’. The statement had made Aegon cry with laughter.

Viserys had only seen Alaric twice since his birth. The first time you had to drag Aemond with you. Juggling two big babies that day.

You had watched Aemond bite back a sneer the entire time. Even Alicent made a face when Viserys mumbled something about Alaric already having a warrior spirit like his father. You supposed you cannot blame them for their apprehension. The jovial tone of his voice nothing like what Aemond heard growing up. It only leaves a bitter taste in everyone’s mouth.

You wanted to say Viserys’ delusions were illness driven, only getting worse with age. But he has always underestimated the damage he did with his kids. Viserys underestimates a lot of things.

The second time he saw Alaric, your sweet boy had decided to spit up all over the King. Then it was Aemond’s turn to laugh.

Viserys is so out of the loop. He seems to think your trip to Dragonstone was a testament to his grand showing for Rhaenyra. That his dinner speech moved you to the point of wanting to connect to the other of your husband’s family.

It is assumed that using Baela and Rhaena as a cover was not fully convincing to Alicent.

“Space can be a treasure at times,” Alicent whispered to you, squeezing your hand. “A new beginning once you get back.”

All you could do was hum in acknowledgment and try to smile. You cannot help but wonder how Alicent will respond if you get tangible proof that Rhaenyra had something to do with Alys. Would it ruin the move to reconciliation? Would it even matter by the time Rhaenyra is to take the throne?

If you cannot dwell too much; one foot in front of the other. The preparations to set sail with Rhaenyra were all prepped.

Your night was interrupted by a knock at the door. The knuckles on the door tapping to the tune of a Braavosi song you like. Aegon.

You have to bite back a smile. The two of you have not talked since the night of the dinner. It is a strange ordeal. Going from purposely ignoring each other’s existences to now a few days of not speaking feeling foreign. He sticks his head in with a sheepish look.

Men will always come back with their tails tucked between their legs when they think it is worth it

Your mother’s words playing your head. Instead of focusing Aegon, your mind drifts to Aemond. You know it is a point of contention for them, but it is hard not to compare them. Especially when they act so differently at times. To see Aemond grovel would be a sight. Perhaps he has before… just not for you.

He says nothing when he comes in, eyes fluttering over your pale blue night gown. You sigh, tying your robe around you. For all Aegon can be when he tries - sweet, observant, loyal to a fault. He’s still same boy in his bones; easily swayed by pretty things.

“Yes, Aegon?”

He still does not say anything, instead, he pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to you. Shy like a child trying to evade a scolding. You narrow your eyes at him, but still open the box.

Inside was dainty chain silver. Hanging from it was a bright yellow stone surrounded by pale pink ones. You shoulders slump. It’s beautiful, and entirely too much. Much like the man who is trying to give it to you.

“Is this your attempt at an apology,” you give a weak laugh.

“No,” he waves that notion off. “I am not going to apologize for vocalizing how bad of an idea I think this is. Though I know there is no stopping you once you set your mind to something.”

You know it would be hypocritical to judge Aegon and Aemond’s paranoia towards their older sister. She has not given them a reason to have faith in her. Neither has their uncle, who only seems to show up in moments of chaos. Those feelings are reciprocated by Rhaenyra and her family towards them.

“Think of it as more of a promise,” he walks towards to you, and the box suddenly feels like it weighs as much as a horse.

Chewing on the side of you cheek, you shake your head. “I cannot accept this Aegon. You are very kind but… I cannot.”

You never want to think the worst of people; even Aegon, who you have an admittedly rocky past with. It has never been your nature, till recently. Gifts leading to promises; promises leading to expectations you don’t know if you can handle. The affection of people in the Red Keep, especially the men, constantly wane.

It is hard not to blame your mother for how you feel right now. For every drop of wisdom she instilled in you, she left touches of fragility and fear. She made sure to reiterate the importance of having powerful people, specifically powerful men, in your corner but never explained what do to when the debt comes due.

It may not be what Aegon meant but these thoughts plague you often as loyalties shift. Even the most attentive, and helpful people want something in return. What happens when those expectations can not be met? Does the goodwill dry up?

Sensing your nerves, gently takes your wrist pulling you closer. “You are not alone in this. We are all here if you need to get out of there,” he pauses for a moment before cracking a smile. “Even Aemond would hop on Vhagar if something happened.”

You raise a brow, not knowing if this is him trying to cheer you up or if he genuinely believes it. You actually think the old beast probably likes you more than your husband most days. You hold back a shudder thinking about your first meeting with Vhagar. Beady eyes following you before huffing in approval. You remember the smell of sheep on her breath.

“She likes you!” Aemond seemed so happy she did.

Things were simpler back then. Mindless courting and no pain. You had fooled yourself into thinking everything would work itself out.

As if he heard you two speaking about him, the sounds of heavy boots echo through the halls.

As if a spell had been broken, Aegon lets go of your wrist giving you.

“Remember aim for the jugular or heart, and drive through.”

You laugh and roll your eyes. Criston had preached no mercy during their lessons, and it seems to be the only thing that stuck with Aegon.

Aemond interrupts you two by coming in, stopping in his tracks when he sees you both. He blinks blankly before sighing and going over to sit.

“Have fun with that,” Aegon whispers, before leaving.

You realize he never takes back the necklace. Think of it as a promise. He never told you what that promise was.

———

When Aemond was young, he over heard his grandsire speaking to his mother about him.

“You coddle him too much Alicent,” his voice gravely. “He is never going to grow up hiding beneath your skirts. It’s probably why he had not gained a dragon yet.”

She just stood and took it because that is what his mother always does when it comes to her father, or with Viserys. She had learned the art of taking everything and internalizing it. And then she wonders why he children do the same.

Aemond is master of it. He adds to the list of things he has grown quite good at. Along with his training with the sword, and his ability to retain things he learned through reading. Showing any emotion has only failed him over the years.

The only time he finds reprieve is at night.

The dreams tend to be the same each night. You standing over him, Dark Sister in hand, and unbridled hatred in your eyes. Aemond cannot call them nightmares in good faith; he finds them too entertaining for that. He does not know how you got the sword, but that is just another exciting part about the dreams. His mother did always say he had a morbid sense of humor.

The image of you having blade to him breaks up the monotony of life. In fact, he is sure he likes dream you more than the one he sees everyday. Dream you lacks the shiny luster that the real you carries. There is something so unapologetic about the look of disgust on your face. Some nights you slit his throat, quick and to the point. A merciful kill. Other times you take his other eye. The chambers ablaze; he sees and feels the heat before everything goes dark.

“Aemond, are you listening to me,” you sigh, breaking him out of his thoughts.

All he can do is look at you. You look ethereal, back lit by the fires throughout the room. Unwavering stares is all he can give you these days. In the early days of your marriage, you used to look away when the looks were to much. Now, you just stare back; eyes tired yet soft. Perhaps it is the inability for you harden yourself that makes the dreams so welcomed. He selfishly wants you to debase yourself the way he has. Aemond knows it is in there, but you are too smart to let it show in that way.

Maybe you will come back from Dragonstone, with untamed loathing in your heart, and Dark Sister attached to you. The spirits of the mad Targaryens that roam Dragonstone compelling you to snap. The dream you and the real one will merge into something terrifyingly beautiful.

What a way that would be to go.… in fire and blood.

The departure from King’s Landing went as smoothly as you could hope. Alicent and Helaena saw you off with sad smiles. The ship pulled off, and it felt like a momentary breath of relief. Sometimes you felt locked away in the King’s Landing

“Quite watchful, is she not,” Rhaenyra laughed. At first you thought she was speaking about Alicent. You turned towards the Red Keep to see Vhagar flying a comfortable distance behind. “She will turn back, right?”

You nod perplexed, watching as Daella waves at Vhagar.

You think back to laughing when Aemond asked if Daella would miss him, and she replied with a shrug and reminded him to feed Vhagar extra sheep while she is away. His sour disposition melts when she gives him a kiss on the cheek before she sprinted to say goodbye to her cousins. You try not to shift awkwardly when he kisses you on the cheek and tells you to be safe.

Eventually Vhagar does turn back, after circling the ship a couple of times.

You go to put Alaric down for a nap in one of the bottom room. When you first had him, his silence used to worry you. Often you found yourself leaning over his cot to see if he was still breathing. He sleeps like the dead, and stares as if he knows something you do not. The stare would be slightly menacing if it was not attached to such a cute face.

Ser Quinton comes in, and quietly closes the door. He looks as uneasy as you feel. He seems to share the same skepticism everyone has about this little getaway.

“You were right about Jayne,” his voice is low as he sits on the bed next to you. “She about the tunnels. Said she was a disciple of someone named Mysaria.”

The name is so familiar but you can’t put your finger on it.

“How did you find that out?”

“Do you really want to know that,” he grimaces. The last time you saw Jayne, Quinton had lied to her and said the Queen wanted to see her. You are sure she went to the dungeons, where all the people who are accused of treason go. Your heart feels heavy at the thought of her being tortured.

It was a hard pill swallow. Jayne had been with you since Daella was born. How long had she been watching you for?

“I need you to promise me something,” you whisper to him. “If anything were to happen, I need make sure the kids are you first priority. Their safety is of the upmost importance… even if it means leaving me behind.”

Quinton frown deeply. “I am your protector, I would n-“

“And as my protector, I am asking you do this for me. Think of everything you feel for me, and do this please.”

You squeeze his arm. After a moment of silence, he nods solemnly.

You know when you have reached Dragonstone because smell is like nothing you have encountered before. Putrid almost. You thought the Red Keep was as somber as a place could get; you were terribly wrong.

The bright look that crosses Rhaenyra’s face makes you jealous. You often envious of the way the Targaryens around you moved. Viserys, despite being the king, had little care for things that did not benefit him. Aemond saunters into rooms like he owns it, Aegon followed his own rules to a fault. Rhaenyra seems to revel in the privilege that came with her name. Even Helaena had came into her own, embracing the things people see as odd.

You felt like your good was not good enough, but you think of what your father would tell you when you were young.

The best people are often underestimated, use that to your advantage.

And use it you will.

Taglist: @afro-hispwriter @blazzlynch @thenovelcarnival @lyra689 @savinasavers @cruelmissdior @lunablade @minttea07 @shintax-error @queenofshinigamis @httyd-marauders

[throwaway-yandere]

Therapy (Yandere Idol!Ayato/Reader)

A/n: The CEO finally let me write “a/n” instead of “mother of Klee, Alice’s note” from now on now that the shareholder is missing! Anywaaaayysss… You look well-rested, Producer fox! What’s your secret? Won’t you tell mother Alice?

CW: hypnosis, panic attacks

Yandere 1k Idol Event

“(Y/n)... (Y/n), (Y/n), (Y/n).”

Kamisato Ayato chanted your name, voice dipping into a borderline death threat.

“My dear producer, isn’t this far enough? I am not playing games anymore. Why don’t you reveal yourself before I make you?”

You made no sound inside the closet you’ve claustrophobically folded your knees and arms to fit into. Both hands covered your mouth while your heart beat erratically– but the sensation surely had less friction compared to Ayato’s fingers. 

He chuckled darkly. “Not up to it? Oh, but what if I started counting to three?”

You bit your lip, holding back tears.

A moment ago, you saw him rip his pillows in half after realizing you were no longer sleeping in his bed. Cotton materials were littered above his azure sheets and some were swept by the wind, dangerously close to the closet you were hiding in. His elegant demeanor crumbled and you jolted at the sharp sound of torn cloth. Ayato repeatedly clawed through the bed, his breathing guttural and erratic as he fruitlessly threw the rest of the pillows away. Your name no longer sounded right to you. It doesn’t sound like it was yours with the way he mumbles it like a curse or a lost possession. 

Although his face couldn't be seen from this perspective, you can still picture his lips being uncannily spread from ear to ear. Your muscles tensed even more at the sound of his feral yet strained laughter. You don’t know where you are but based on how isolated the area was, you’re clued on a bit as to approximately where he’s keeping you hidden. 

This is not his estate. This is not any of Teyvat Production’s buildings. The answer is closer to these keywords: Grand Narukami Land Reform Program. 

You felt your heart pounding in your chest as his footsteps echoed louder– closer. Nausea started creeping in.

Be quiet… be quiet like a fox, (Y/n)…!

“Come now, Producer (L/n). Do you no longer trust me? I'll start counting. One… Two…”

—---

“It’s three o clock, sir– where have you been?”

Dressed in fine yet slovenly material, Kamisato Ayato enters the room. Looking from afar tells you what you need to know about him. Yes, he’s a byproduct of an aristocratic family who pursued an artistically sensitive path of politics, but by his smile alone, anyone can tell he's a notable outlier. 

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he stared at you. As always, his lean body stands firm, not unlike a Hinoki tree on a misty morning. This is precisely the reason why your eyes targeted his wet clothing and not his well-versed smile.

Unimpressed by his absence while you were out working for the entire day, you asked as politely as you could. You've been bombarded with tasks as of late, disastrously to the point that you even started managing the Inazuman food supplies in the cafeteria.

"Sir Kamisato, may I inquire as to why you look positively haggard?" 

The idol grins wryly at your voice before squeezing some locks of his hair near his scalp. His pursed lip belied both child-like innocence and weariness of a man without youthful aspirations. Some sweat also seeped between his fingers, which only served to amplify your distress.

Ayato averted his gaze, intent on answering you without giving too much of himself away.

"It was a difficult singing session and the space lacked ventilation."

"It's snowing." You deadpanned.

Ayato shrugged "It's a… mixture of both sweat and snow, I suppose."

You snatched the script off his hands. 

Needless to say, he was definitely not practicing a song.

"Didn't Thoma or Childe agree to accompany you?"

Before making the switch to idol work, Childe was once known as Tartaglia in the theater industry. You suspect he's the reason behind Ayato's current fixation on acting. It's not a secret that Sir Kamisato had been eyeing the barren sixth and tenth spots of the Commedia Del Arte troupe for quite a while now…

"Thoma attended a talk show with Aether and Zhongli whereas Childe was preoccupied with his training."

Archery training most likely for that man’s next athletic competition, but you're not Producer Sage so you don't particularly care. Your eyebrows furrowed. 

"Do you want to stay in ADDICKTZ longer than necessary?"

For a moment, his expression stiffened before it relaxed back into his usual languid smile.

If a well-dressed atheist quietly sits through a mass, most devotees cannot tell whether they're worshipping or attending. The same reasoning can be used to explain Kamisato Ayato's reputation. The juxtaposition of the perfect princely archetype paired with a stressed-out overachiever– that was your opinion on him the first few weeks you worked in Teyvat Productions. And you were right.  

Sir Kamisato had always been open to you about his detachment from the idol group. In his eyes, every ADDICKTZ-related activity is a mere play pretend worthy enough for him to generate fabricated happiness to fuel his agendas. His idol works are not so different from the nihonga pieces the Kamisato Clan collected throughout the generations– a beautiful artwork, but not something he's deeply involved in. His career thrived off countless facework and dramaturgical approaches in fan interactions, false but not cheap. He is what the creative director and his assistant made him out to be, and he doesn't seem content or completely dissatisfied with this arrangement.

It’s obvious that he’s not here to satisfy Ayaka’s obsession with the idol industry– he’s your boss simply because there’s a political gain you aren’t privy to know the details to. 

You'd wager a guess that this career shift likely had something to do with the Kamisato clan's land reform scandals… but you're not here for politics. Lady Yae always watches your every move to make sure you know little regarding the “real” paperwork Sir Kamisato does. 

However, you can’t help but feel as if you were involved with one of these scandals before… you just can’t remember what incident it was.

"My apologies, Producer (L/n). I will not do it again."

"As you should." You pouted. "You caused me a great deal of worry."

Ayato opened his mouth before quickly shutting it. For a supposed political heir, words had failed him. His posture resembled that of an abandoned puppy as he slouched and sighed.

You laughed softly.

Open mind, open arms– you let him hug you gently as Ayato mumbled something about his workload. You’re so used to this that you didn’t mind how uncomfortably damp his back was. This is a normal occurrence between you two. After nearly half a year, Ayato opened up about missing his sister's hug after a long day and you offered to be a substitute. You ran your fingers through his sweaty hair, feeling him breathing softly near the shell of your ear. 

“Producer (L/n)…”

“Yes?”

“I must memorize the script before sundown…”

You shook your head. How surprisingly predictable of him to bring that up.

“I won’t let you pick it up until you have a thirty-minute rest.”

“Why don’t we make this a game then?” He pulled back, a sly smile gloating just a bit to let you know he doubts you’d win. “This will be our second acting game– see which one of us can perform the script best. Win, and I’ll be the one finishing this week’s paperwork.”

As an older brother, Sir Kamisato has a habit of inventing games. The "reading game," "cursive-writing game," and "hotpot game" were all unmistakably created to discipline and make his younger sister Ayaka behave. However, she is now a young adult, and you are unquestionably much older than she is. You're not clear as to why he believed this "acting game" tactic would work.

But the “second” acting game? You’ve never read a script aloud with him before, though.

Oh, well. Picking up a script is worth trading the paperwork you were meant to be doing. 

“If it lessens my workload, I don’t see why not…”

Working for the idol industry can be very demanding, after all. If you win, you'll probably squander your spare time to snack on sweets... and work on a few chores– okay, so you're not the best at being still. You’ll probably multitask working on Ayato’s theater work either way. That, or you'd plan a new deck for your next 25-minute TCG game with him. 

He grabbed the script from behind you as his smile got bigger. Ayato handed the pages back after swiftly leafing through them and pointing at the highlighted passages.

“Scene IV – Act IV,” he said, his excitement subtly infecting his tone. “This is where my character helps Emperor Edel relax.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. “I was under the impression that Hubert was Kaeya’s role.”

“Ah, I’ve forgotten to inform you but I’ve replaced Alberich since the eye incident.”

You know little about this “We Will Be Reunited” play 4/8 of ADDICKTZ are involved in but based on word-of-mouth, it appeared to be about an emperor and a retainer who had to betray former classmates to win a continental war. Seems like he wanted you to read the emperor’s lines.

He dimmed the lights to set the scene. Thankfully, only the two of you occupied his TeyPro's room. There's no one else lingering in the east wing, including Dr. Albedo's room next door.

“I see…” You muttered. “So, I shall be the first to start, correct?”

Sir Kamisato nodded. “Yes, you can begin with the ‘you think this can help me?’ line.”

You cleared your throat and repeated the phrase with much fervor.

“– I mean, I trust you Hubert, but I’d rather not face another disappointment in life again.”

Just like that, Kamisato Ayato’s demeanor shifted.

“My emperor (Y/n), I know that trusting another person isn’t easy, especially for someone like you with high status,” he spoke, voice laced with compassionate conviction. “But you have placed your trust in me, and of course, I will not let you down.”

As you listened to his delivery, you struggled to contain your grin of pride. For someone who looked ready to sleep on the floor when he entered the room, his voice carried the emotional weight worthy of becoming a professional theater actor. Hence, you decided not to comment on how he used your name instead of “Emperor Edel” for the sake of momentum. He knows what he's doing. This is the first time he called you by your first name– he's trying to fluster you.

“Hubert…” You muttered melodramatically, not knowing how the character should act or sound. “Fine, do what you must.”

“Thank you, my dear.”

You took another glance at the script and noticed that there weren't as many lines left for your character, which annoyed you. It seemed that Sir Kamisato deliberately set you up to fail. How can you win when he hasn't even gotten through one-third of his lines and you have already finished yours?

“Edel, I need you to look at me,” he spoke softly. “I need you to listen to the sound of my voice and follow my lead, understood?"

Since you weren't sure what to say in the first place, you didn't improvise any lines. You continued to sit next to him. He raised his hand near your face while he reads his lines. Your eyes naturally focus on his index and middle fingers as he points them up in the air. You don't understand the reasoning behind it, but there would be consequences if you check the script to see if that's written down. He would make up some nonsensical justification to deduct your points for this "acting game.” It's obvious. He’s not the only person in the world who can plot things like these.

“Are you still listening?” He muttered in a crisp yet low voice. 

Your eyes squinted a little in an unsuccessful attempt to focus on his hazy image. You were naturally more inclined to focus on the two fingers between your faces, struggling to keep yourself awake.

… Struggling to keep yourself awake?

He moved his fingers slowly to the left.

“My liege, the pressure you’re carrying is an unimaginably heavy burden…” He slowly shifted his fingers to the right. His voice was barely above a whisper, and you were this siren’s only listener. 

There’s a rhythm in his delivery. The charisma that his singing voice would convey remained present in his speaking voice, “even the smallest of tasks have been assigned to you– each minor inconvenience stacking up stress you do not need to carry alone. But you must continue to trust me. Focus on no one else but me and my voice alone. Only I can help you relax.”

… Were you so tired from work that this acting is actually working on you?

His fingers moved to the left again. For unexplainable reasons, your breathing wasn’t as shallow as it was earlier. You’ve made a mental note of how deeper it was compared to when Ayato first entered the room. Still, it’s too much of a draining challenge to focus on his face that you allow yourself to become absorbed in watching his slender fingers instead. You can no longer see his blue hair or face clearly.

Unbeknownst to you, your mouth was slightly agape– 

and Ayato had been clenching his other hand tight in an attempt to resist the urge to capture your lips.

He dryly cleared his throat in a nearly inaudible sound.

Ayato needs to take this slowly.

He won't repeat the same mistake twice.

“T-This… ‘method’ may not be as comfortable as I would’ve hoped, perhaps a tad bit extreme, but I assure you that it is effective (Y/– Edel.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “Please, follow my lead…”

Of course.

“Left… Right… Left… Right…”

Your eyes moved as commanded.

“Left… Right… Left… Right…”

He chanted those words thrice and more.

… Why do you feel like you’ve done this several times before?

Sir Kamisato kept talking and talking…

His features blurred and the outline of his lips and nose disappeared, but his lilac eyes were clear. Eerily clear. As if it was the only feature of his visage left. You held back a yawn. You're sloppily reminded that the room remained dark, lulling you without questioning his face’s uncanny emptiness. 

Nearly faceless. 

You blinked laconically. 

What’s going…?

“Sir Kamisato I…” You yawned, unable to keep it in for much longer. “I-I think I might have to take a break…”

Kamisato Ayato smiled, but you couldn’t see that.

“An important dimens… to the concept of hyp…. thera… is how the therap… and their …ient perceive their environment. One impor… set of beliefs the patient must hold is their concepti… of trust they have for their therapi… and the safet… that co… along… with it.”

You could no longer follow his string of words.

Was that… from the script? Or is he talking to you?…

He continued, his grin growing wider.

“It warms my heart to know that you trust me, my b…ved. Trust me enough to beli… I would receive the… lead role– trust me enough to mindlessly believe that there’s a scene in …. that requires hypnosis therapy.”

“Take a break. You deserve the rest more than I do.”

That was the only full sentence you understood.

“Promise…” You yawned again, fluttering your eyes shut. “Promise you’ll wake me up?”

He laughed.

—------

Kamisato Ayato opened the door to the closet and your heart finally sank. You gasped as a pair of empty lilac eyes towered and stared down at you. He bent down and roughly grabbed you by the arm like one of his sister's stuffed animals, leaving you with nowhere to run. Your perception of an upstanding nobleman was shattered and stepped on as his twitching hands yanked you by the collar. 

His fingertips were red. His fingertips were warm– and it was all because of the mess he made with the torn-up pillows earlier.

He found you. 

The first game concluded, and much like the second game with “Edel” and “Hubert” in the present, Kamisato Ayato won this round.

“There you are. Why, I never would’ve guessed that you’re a sleepwalker–... (L/n)...? (L/n)? Why are you…”

Kamisato Ayato, a broken boy, hugged you. You can’t hear him– you can’t breathe enough– you can’t feel his warmth– all you feel is a restricting pain in your chest that screams this was the end of the line. You could no longer function.

He can't have that. He doesn't want to see you like this.

He loves you. Don't you understand that?

Then why were you shaking?

“No. No, no– b-breathe, breathe… W-Why do you look so terrified? P-Please… “ His hands trembled as he held you. No longer from anger, but from fear.

He doesn't want to break you.

“Please don’t be scared of me, (Y/n),” he whimpered desperately.

"T-Thoma! I need help, right now!" Ayato bit his lip, as he rubbed circles on your shoulders. He doesn't know what to do, but there's only one objective left in his mind–

Kamisato Ayato needed to find a way to put you back together.

---------

He nodded, playing with your hair.

It's been months since that incident now. Thanks to Lady Yae's help, you would've likely forgotten all about it. You're back, almost brand new, and your health had became his priority.

Kamisato Ayato, idol and heir of the Kamisato Clan, will not repeat the same mistake twice.

“Promise, I won't forget to wake you up, (Y/n). After all, it seems I'm close to mastering my skills on 'EM██ th██apy'.” 

Ayato cooed and kissed your forehead, but you were already deep in sleep to know that.

“I promise I will no longer break you, unlike last time, my beloved.”

Ansytea: thank you, 🦊 anon for joining the match-ups~ and hehe happy holidays to you as well!!!

[jillapril]

Now that I’ve watched the first episode of HotD S2, I have the feeling I have to organize my thought about the Alicent and that Cole… situationship.

1. First things first - she is writing letters to Rhaenyra, she is lighting a candle for Luke… She stills feels for her and wishes for a kind of reconciliation. Everyone knows about her feelings for Rhaenyra. Cole explains it to himself in the same way he explains his own story with Rhaenyra. It shows that he does not really know that much about Alicents true feelings. Aemond seems to see it way more clearly.

2. Alicent saying to Cole, that they cannot do it again, implies that this is NOT an affair that has been going on for long. (Which was my biggest fear.) The affair is new and she actually (thinks she) wants it to be a one-time thing.

3. No kisses, no signs of tenderness. The affair does not seem to be romantic.

4. Had the feeling she was hesitating to help him with his armor. Seems like she is conflicted about their roles and how much closeness she really wants here. And of course, she might have had the memory of helping Rhaenyra with her dress a long time ago.

5. Alicent rubbing her skin excessively in the bath tub makes me think she feels kind of „dirty“ on a deeper level. This might come from feeling very conflicted about having this new sexual thing going. Because it does not suit her idea of being an honorable woman / dowager? And not just that, she also causes a knight to break his vows (again.). It’s also possible that she still has a deeper problem with sexuality (as she experienced it to be something that men force upon women) - and now she feels dirty for having sex, maybe also for giving in to arousal, or maybe for using sex (though parts of her disgust it) as a relieve for some other repressed emotions.

So what about those sexual experiences… Alicent being on top both times implies that this whole affair has something to do with her being the one in control. Given that she fears she’s losing influence on her sons, her father has always had his own agenda, her maid was a spy, her husband is dead - it makes sense that she wants to have at least Cole still under control! So starting to get physical with him might result from a) feeling everything and everyone is slipping through her fingers, so she starts to strengthen her influence on Cole in the one way she knows as a power over men. Worked on Viserys, works in a way with Larys as well - so now she uses it on Cole. However, it looks like - and this is different to the formerly mentioned - she does get some pleasure out of this. Which leads to b) Alicent has just started to get in touch with her own sexuality and is kind of fascinated by this new experience. However, this does not necessarily mean that the pleasure she is experiencing has much to do with Criston Cole as a person or him being a man. Maybe this is more about Alicent learning something new about herself. Maybe this experience even could have had the power to open up her very closeted self in a good way, helping her to get in touch with her most suppressed feelings… but well. Sadly, as she was having sex now while her grandson was murdered, I guess sexuality will remain a completely contaminated field to her.

That all said, I think Alicole in episode 1 wasn’t the disaster I feared it would be! Of course it is not over yet, it still has the potential to really bother me. But for now, I think what actually bothered me the most was not the portrayal of Alicent, but hearing some casual viewers say that they were not surprised about Alicole at all. Like there had been any signs leading up to this other than them being a pretty woman and a pretty man - so of course they must be having sex??? I really dislike the heteronormative banality that Alicole is feeding.

However… I still recognize the Alicent I got to know in season 1. Thank god. And I am also still convinced that her heart belongs and always will belong to Rhaenyra. (Which obviously is also causing her permanent troubles inside and outside, but that’s the kind of drama I‘m here for. :)) So let’s see what happens next…

[thevelaryons]

were Jace/Luke/Joff actually bastards or trueborn?? 🤔🤔 I always get the feeling that Rhaenyra and Laenor never did have sex because they kept avoiding each other.

Yeah, I’ve often said that everything about Rhaenyra and Laenor’s relationship suggests that their marriage was most likely not even consummated. Which would of course make their “sons” not actually fathered by Laenor. Though he is still their legal father and since bastardy is a legal designation in the context of looking at the lines of succession in their families, the boys are considered trueborn in that regard.

If I recall correctly, GRRM has even confirmed that Harwin is the real father of the boys.

Their sons’ appearances is the biggest thing to consider. It’s emphasized over and over and over again that they look nothing like either parent who have Valyrian features. Arryns traditionally have blonde hair so it’s unlikely they took after their maternal grandmother, Aemma Arryn. Their paternal grandmother, Rhaenys Targaryen, had the black hair of the Baratheons. Both their maternal and paternal grandfathers have the typical Valyrian features. Yet Rhaenyra and Laenor have brunette sons, and brown hair is a trait that shows up in First Men families. Harwin Strong is of First Men ethnicity. Not to mention, the differences in other physical features as well. There’s just no way those boys weren’t fathered by Harwin.

Though even looking at the kind of personalities Rhaenyra and Laenor have, the idea of them actually having children together would be very out of character.

Laenor is about as openly gay as someone can be in a closeted society like Westeros. He’s also depicted as someone very comfortable in his sexuality and he has the freedom to act as he wishes (due to the privileged position he holds + Corlys’ obvious indulgence) so when he enters into this political marriage, he simply chooses to stay away from Rhaenyra. I have no doubt that Corlys would be frustrated by this but he also doesn’t do anything to limit Laenor’s freedom, so it is what it is.

Ser Laenor returned to Driftmark thereafter, leaving many to wonder if his marriage had ever been consummated. The princess remained at court, surrounded by her friends and admirers. Ser Criston Cole was not amongst them, having gone over entirely to the queen’s party, the greens, but the massive and redoubtable Breakbones (or Brokenbones, as Mushroom had it) filled his place, becoming the foremost of the blacks, ever at Rhaenyra’s side at feast and ball and hunt. Her husband raised no objections. Ser Laenor preferred the comforts of High Tide, where he soon found a new favorite in a household knight named Ser Qarl Correy.

Thereafter, though he joined his wife for important court events where his presence was expected, Ser Laenor spent most of his days apart from the princess.

— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon

Laenor was said to be living comfortably at Driftmark the entire time that Rhaenyra was at King’s Landing. He had no concern about what his wife was up to because he was too busy enjoying his own life. Those two might’ve not been married at all with how distant they were to each other. The only time the two of them are seen together is for court events (which would be expected of them to appease the King). Laenor doesn’t seem like the type to care who fucks his wife, so long as he doesn’t have to.

Laenor and Rhaenyra only start spending more time together, due to the rising tensions between the Blacks and the Greens (and that happens after Luke’s birth).

These feelings were not shared by his queen. “Do keep trying,” Queen Alicent told Ser Laenor, according to Mushroom, “soon or late, you may get one who looks like you.” And the rivalry between the greens and blacks grew deeper, finally reaching the point where the queen and the princess could scarce suffer each other’s presence. Thereafter Queen Alicent kept to the Red Keep, whilst the princess spent her days on Dragonstone, attended by her ladies, Mushroom, and her champion, Ser Harwin Strong. Her husband, Ser Laenor, was said to visit “frequently.”

— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon

Since Rhaenyra gave her favor to Harwin, at her wedding to Laenor, it also says a great deal about her own views of their relationship. This was something Rhaenyra did very publicly. She clearly did not care about how she might be perceived if she favours another man over the man she’s about to marry. From the very beginning, it’s evident Rhaenyra had no intention of committing to this marriage. Her affair with Harwin had probably already begun at this point. Having not one, but three bastards with Harwin seems to have been an active choice on Rhaenyra’s part.

There’s also the detail about how this marriage came to be, which is that Rhaenyra was threatened with disinheritance if she did not agree to the match. She consented to the marriage for the sake of her inheritance but when it comes to everything else after that, Rhaenyra is the type to do as she wishes.

King and council had neglected to consult the princess, however, and Rhaenyra proved to be very much her father’s daughter, with her own notions about whom she wished to wed. The princess knew much and more about Laenor Velaryon, and had no wish to be his bride. “My half-brothers would be more to his taste,” she told the king. (The princess always took care to refer to Queen Alicent’s sons as half-brothers, never as brothers.) And though His Grace reasoned with her, pleaded with her, shouted at her, and called her an ungrateful daughter, no words of his could budge her…until the king brought up the question of succession. What a king had done, a king could undo, Viserys pointed out. She would wed as he commanded, or he would make her half-brother Aegon his heir in place of her. At this the princess’s will gave way.

— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon

It’s said plain that Rhaenyra is her father’s daughter. Viserys is someone who neglected doing what was expected of him when he chose to marry for love by picking Alicent. Daemon is another big influence in Rhaenyra’s life and he’s the type that would spit on the idea of doing his duty. In his marriage to Rhea Royce, whom he dislikes, he stays away from her. With those two men as role models essentially for Rhaenyra, it would affect her mindset a lot. Viserys and Daemon can do as they please, so why should it be any different for her? As stubborn and proud as she is, Rhaenyra would never willingly have sex with a man she never wanted to marry in the first place.

Besides, with how much Rhaenyra shares in common with a character like Arianne Martell from the main series, she would definitely echo Arianne’s sentiments about fulfilling her duty:

“You know I have no other woman. Only … duty.”

She rolled onto one elbow to look up at him, her big black eyes shining in the candlelight. “That poxy bitch? I know her. Dry as dust between the legs, and her kisses leave you bleeding.”

— A Feast for Crows, The Soiled Knight

[lemonhemlock]

it's amusing to me how ppl will try to criticise alicent's "where is duty, where is scarifice" by saying it's just her demanding why rhaenyra doesn't "submit to men", "scarifice her happiness", "give up her bodily autonomy" blah blah blah.

there is such a smugness and it's made worse by their security in them thinking this defense of rhaenyra is flawless."

submit to men". im not even going to deign to respond by pointing out all the ways which shows this simply isn't true or at least challengeable for alicent, but in the context of rhaenyra....its questionable because who made rhaenyra his heir in the first place? quickly. her father. rhaenyra "submits" to viserys' will by accepting his decision to name her princess of dragonstone. obviously she's only 14 then but it's a decision she continues to, using their language, "submit" to well into her adult life. of course, you could say that rhaenyra wants the throne anyway and that's fair but rhaenyra's own wants/needs are still ultimately irrelevant. they just happen to align with viserys' own wishes that stem from his powerful guilt over aemma and his conviction that he misread his "prophecy" wrong. it's because of these factors that one can find it really questionable that viserys would have listened to rhaenyra if she asked him to change the succession. what's more important, his daughter's happiness, or his need to redeem himself through her? im comfortable saying this because viserys at his core seems allergic doing right by his kids.another way it's questionable because again who is the final "authority" on rhaenyra's sons? quickly. her dad. rhaenyra's word by itself isn't good enough, she still has to submit to viserys' will through getting his protection.

"scarifice her happiness". mind you rhaenyra calls her own life a "droll tragedy". how great could that "happiness" (harwin) have been then? it's also very clear that harwin was never going to be enough for rhaenyra.

"bodily autonomy" I mean, I wish they kept this energy for alicent. but they don't. alicent's line to viserys "to have one child like that is a mistake" is also really interesting to me concerning this whole subject because it suggests that alicent would have been sympathetic to rhaenyra if she had been honest from the very start with jace's birth. but she doesn't and she ends up lying again and again. obviously rhaenyra lying about such a matter is going to be a huge trigger for someone like alicent whose father was removed from his position partly because of rhaenyra lying or not being wholly truthful.

sorry for the long post!

Hi there! I think there's a lot of naff defence of Rhaenyra and hypocrisy towards Alicent in TB's discourse, but, by now, there are a wealth of critical posts available that highlight these discrepancies and, if they don't pose any interest to them, we kind of, at some point, have to let bygones and be bygones and leave them to their little bubble. They can educate themselves from many sources now; it's not like when the show first aired and the meta was dominated by TB content. But if they don't want to engage in good faith arguing, then there's not much point in getting worked up about it. IMO a lot of these posters skew on the younger side, have a rather primitive view of feminism and rely heavily on anachronism, so girlboss pew pew is appealing to them. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not, but we can't be educators for everybody.

That being said, onto the points you highlighted. I think I agree the most with "sacrifice her happiness", because Rhaenyra had all the options in the world for a husband, but she didn't take any of it seriously and exhausted everyone's goodwill after a ton of resources were wasted on her marriage audition tour for nothing,* until Viserys got tired of her tomfoolery and forced her to marry a closeted gay man. This is where a point about bodily autonomy can also be made, because Rhaenyra could have very well married Harwin (who was in her social sphere), had she taken any of this seriously.

*think of the cost of transporting her and hosting so many suitors under one roof - some of the bill being footed by the lords who were hosting her. Perhaps Lord Baratheon had better use of his time and money than organizing Rhaenyra's engagement contest. And you can bet she didn't just leech off of him, she must have visited other castles as well, since she is said to have been gone for several weeks (? can't remember). And all for what? It's very disrespectful.

I do have some sympathy for her because it's a lot to ask a 15(?)-year-old to start seriously considering marriage proposals, when that's probably the last thing she is interested in. And it is normal for teenagers to be immature. But there's got to be some give-and-take here. Rhaenyra can't both be the nominal heir and future queen, entrusted with more power than anyone else in the kingdom, and not heed any of her responsibilities. It is a position that comes with sacrifices and responsibilities; it's part of the job description. Making a politically-advantageous marriage is one of those compromises. Acknowledging that is not anti-feminist lol. God forbid kings and queens can't just do whatever the hell they want all the time.

And Rhaenyra is presented with choices: at no point does she refuse Viserys' offer to name her heir. He straight-up tells her at one point: choose a husband or I will name Aegon instead. She could have very well said "You know what, I didn't really think about what this would entail when you nominated me in the first place and now I kind of realise this is not for me. I don't really want to get married and I'm not particularly inclined towards politics either, so can we find some kind of alternative arrangement here?" Does she? No!

She doesn't want to run away with Criston and eat oranges either. Fair enough, but then you kind of have to move your butt and work towards securing your position as heir to the throne. Does she do that instead? No, lol. She's the definition of eating one's cake and having it too. In ep. 7 she bemoans to Viserys "I thought I wanted it" (i.e. the throne). So she does want it!

As far as her just going along with whatever Viserys wants, I am going to be generous again and say that I get she doesn't really want to disappoint her father and appear diminished in front of him, cool, but at some point you have to start taking responsibility for yourself and not just explain everything away resorting to your shitty childhood and relationship with your parents. And Rhaenyra never does. Especially when the stakes are this high. We're talking about the possibility of civil war here. It's very laissez-faire to the point of irresponsibility to just "go along" with this, in spite of succession laws, when you know people are going to be opposing your shaky claim, if you don't really want the throne deep down and are just half-arsing it.

And Rhaenyra can't blame it all on the follies of youth either. Because there is a time when she is a mature woman with three illegitimate children under her belt, not really putting in the work to diplomatically advance herself, being rude to people at court and just interested in her love affair and doing whatever she wants. But, by that time, Alicent had already produced 4 children, so Rhaenyra could have just noped out of this situation, if she considered it so shitty, and conceded to Aegon. Viserys by then was old and weak, he wouldn't have really put much of a fight if that's what she truly wanted. She could have lived her life as a very rich, privileged lady, but instead she chose to escalate and marry Daemon. And, no, the greens would not have killed Rhaenyra and her bastard children, not because of the kindness of their hearts, but because Rhaenyra's claim is comically weak and would not be taken seriously by any medieval historian, let alone by a person actually living in those times.

So this is where I wrap it up with the "submitting to men" argument. I don't think it's necessarily accurate to categorise Rhaenyra accepting Viserys' decision to name her heir as going against her will, because she is known to want the throne. What I think is more relevant here is to consider that Alicent is in a much more powerless position than Rhaenyra and doesn't really have much of a choice when it comes to defying men. Alicent is the daughter of a second son and she doesn't have a dragon soul-bonded to her who can roast people who annoy her. I think it quite trite to be "angry" with her (lol she's not real) that she has the (normal) coping mechanisms that she has and is not magically transformed into a rebel Lagertha figure who does whatever she wants and takes no shit from anyone.

However, I don't see the solution as Rhaenyra "submitting to men" either. I think that's a misrepresentation of the green stance (although I'm sure there certainly are green-aligned posters that skew more towards the Kinder-Kuche-Kirchen disposition). On my part, I don't see Rhaenyra respecting the basic law of the land as her submitting to men. Kings have to follow succession laws to acquire the throne, too, and then produce legitimate children to succeed them. Of course the law is meant to favour men, but not once does Rhaenyra do anything to further the cause of women in Westeros, only to further herself. She wants to be Queen, but it has to be served on a platter to her and she is not interested in putting any work in. She's not interested in the plight of bastards in Westeros, as long as her own bastards get comfy seats. At one point you have at least concede that she's mainly on a one-woman mission for her selfishness. And anyone is welcome to like her exactly as she is! She doesn't have to be morally pure to have fans.

But there comes a time when, after appraising the inequalities of the world, you also have to adjust your own behaviour so that you won't end up causing more harm in your quest to advance your own interests. You have to find a balance between your desire for absolute freedom and reforms that are achievable, because some progress is always better than no progress.

Some of this stuff is really complicated, like how can you integrate bastards in the inheritance process when most of the wealth is acquired via land and you live in a society in which people of means turn marriages into economic alliances, with vested interests in passing down that wealth to children related to both parents? The short answer is that you have to diversify the sources of wealth, but, for that, you need technological advancement, the rise of the middle class and, ultimately, to dismantle feudalism. Could Rhaenyra have accomplished this during her reign? No. Could anyone? Absolutely not. These are historical developments that happen gradually, over a great span of time, so the best any decision-maker could do is introduce incremental reforms that can help speed up this process, increase literacy rates* (you cannot become free if you cannot read) and, yes, tumblr is going to hate this, but engage in harm reduction - basically don't become part of the problem or an active vector of destabilisation.

That is wisdom that Rhaenyra never comes to possess. And, to cut her some slack again, this is truly visionary stuff, like very few people would be able to be so politically avant-garde. But, at the very least, Rhaenyra could have engaged in harm-reduction. And it's pretty insincere or misguided of TB to reduce this resolution to just "submitting to men".

*But can you even? You'd need to invent the printing press for this. See my mentioning the need to technological advancement.