#still gonna go through in chronological order though

[zepskies]

Strong as Blood - Part 1

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

AN: This two-part fic can be read as stand-alone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!

Word Count: 4,500

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, fluff, and a smutty ending. 

To find the chronological reading order for the series, check out the series masterlist. ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down

Part 1: “Probably Temporary”

Make no mistake. Ben was still a terrible cook.

He’d sort of gotten the hang of the grill though, even if he technically wasn’t supposed to be smoking meat on the apartment’s second-floor balcony. 

You peeked out at your boyfriend through the sliding glass door to make sure he was still doing okay. He caught you though, and shot you a wink.

He was very proud of his grill. 

We’re so gonna get in trouble with the homeowner’s association, you thought, but you couldn’t help a smile. You obliged him when he beckoned you over, and you slid the door open. 

“Almost done? I think our neighbors are going to complain again,” you said with a laugh. Ben rolled his eyes.

“It’s a bit of smoke, not a fucking forest fire,” he groused. “Let those uppity fucks complain. Bet’cha they won’t have the balls to say shit to my face if I go across the street for a little visit.” 

You soothed him with a hand along his shoulder. It also gave you an excuse to check on his progress. You considered this episode to be a success, considering the balcony wasn’t up in flames this time. And the steaks actually looked good. Not brittle pieces of charcoal, but not raw and bleeding either.  

“I think those are done,” you advised. Ben followed your gaze and nodded. He used his bare hands to turn the foil-wrapped potatoes, just because he could. 

“Why don’t you take ‘em in while I finish up these potatoes,” he said. “How’s the rest coming?”

“Good. I’m about to take the casserole out of the oven,” you said with a nod. Meanwhile, he placed the steaks in a glass dish that been sitting near the open grill. He handed it to you, but you almost dropped the steaks when the hot glass burned your hands. 

You hissed in pain, while Ben caught the dish with both hands. His brows furrowed, first in surprise, then in thinly veiled concern when he looked over at you. He reached out for your shoulder. 

“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t seem that hot…you okay?”

You looked up from your stinging hands and sighed at him in exasperation, but you couldn’t get that mad at him. He sometimes couldn’t gauge things like this when it came to what he could handle, versus what your normal human body could. 

“Yeah. I’ll just break out the aloe. First, let me get some oven mitts,” you replied, but your answering smile retained some good humor. Ben quirked an apologetic smile of his own. He decided to follow you into the kitchen, taking the steaks in himself. 

You grabbed your favorite green oven mitts and carefully took out the veggie casserole. It smelled delicious, but Ben still peered at it over your shoulder when you placed it on the counter. 

“Don’t you look at my casserole sideways,” you quipped. “You need to eat more veggies.”

He leveled you with a dry look. “You saying I’m getting out of shape?”

“God forbid,” you gasped, playfully jabbing at his firm abs with a mitt-covered hand. “I’m just saying, your super metabolism is compensating for a lot of booze and Taco Bell.”

Ben rose a brow at your cheekiness. He drew closer behind you, trapping you against the counter with one hand braced on the edge, and the other sliding up your jean-clad hip. 

“You’ve got some nerve. I don’t talk shit about the stash of Twix bars in your nightstand, do I?” he remarked. He nipped at your ear, making you flinch and giggle. His beard was also tickling your neck. 

“You’re peeping in my nightstand now? How dare you,” you teased. He snorted in response. 

“Please. Your purple vibrator isn’t exactly a fucking mystery to me,” he retorted. You felt his smirk growing against your neck. “Might wanna keep it away from the chocolate though. That could get messy…unless you want it to be.” 

Your body shook with the effort of containing your laughter. He was so fucking gross.

“Don’t you need to check on the potatoes?” you asked. “I don’t want to have to pressure wash the balcony again.”

Ben made a sound of agreement, but was sure to swat you on the ass before he went. You jolted, but you just shook your head with a blush and a smile. 

It had been over a year since you and Ben had moved in together. Already you’d had your first fight as a true couple, your first Christmas, and so many other challenges, large and small, that had all come to solidify one thing for you.

You were happy. Maybe for the first time in your life. 

It just came with some…small caveats, you reflected, as you reached into the fridge to find the jar of aloe vera. Before you slathered some onto your hands, you realized they were no longer red, and they didn’t even sting anymore.

“What the hell?” you muttered. You put back the jar and rested a hand on your hip. 

Well, maybe you hadn’t burned yourself as bad as you thought. 

With that oddity still in your mind, you pulled on your oven mitts again and took up the casserole with the intention of bringing it to the dining table. Admittedly, you were a bit distracted. You didn’t remember about the raised ledge in the doorway to the dining room until it was too late.

You tripped, and though you managed to make it to the table, you gasped when you broke right through the wood. 

The table just seemed to give up when you hit it, cracking in half, and sending you tumbling to the floor with hot casserole heaped on top. You were still stunned when Ben tore back inside. His green eyes were wide, his brows furrowed as he took in the state of you on the floor with the broken table.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, though he bent down to help you up. He checked you for injuries, but both of you found nothing. 

“I’m okay,” you said, a bit shakily. “I tripped, that’s all.”

Ben’s brows raised as he looked from you to the shards of the table. He knocked on the wood surface. 

“Cheap piece of shit. Where’d you get this thing?” he asked. 

You flickered at a smile and admitted, “IKEA.”

Ben shook his head. “We really need to broaden your palate.”

You insisted you were all right. But he insisted, without words, on checking you over again. His hands brushed down your shoulders and arms, your hands and neck.

He held your face in his hands, and he let out a deep sigh. You just smiled up at him, though inside, you were hiding a bit of worry yourself. 

That table hadn’t been cheap. It was solid pine wood. 

But Ben seemed to believe you. He also seemed a bit exasperated. 

“I should just layer you up in goddamn bubble wrap. The way you find ways to break yourself is beyond me,” he muttered. Your lips pursed. 

“I resent that—”

“I’m sure you fucking do.”

“Besides,” you said, a smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth. “What a pain in the ass would it be to unwrap me?” 

Ben huffed, even as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist and pull you in close. 

“True,” he smirked. “You’re already a pain in the ass as it is.” 

You opened your mouth to mount an indignant protest, but he shut you up the only surefire way he knew how. His kiss was swift, deep, and left you humming into his mouth in surprise. 

But you soon pulled back, brushing a thumb along his chin. “We’ve got to clean up this mess. And…did you get the potatoes?”

Ben thought for a moment, but then his mouth firmed into a line. 

“Shit,” he muttered, and released you to run back to the grill. 

That night, you stood barefooted in your nightgown and took a moment alone in the bathroom to breathe. And to think. And to test the strength in your hands, by bending one of Ben’s metal wrenches like it was a useless paper straw. 

Okay, now you were panicking a bit. 

What the fuck? you thought. You had only ever experienced super strength when you were on V24 (which you had not taken, let alone the permanent stuff). 

But…if you thought about it, there had been one other time when you had felt this strong. And it had been when you were in the hospital, almost two years ago, after Vought Tower collapsed. You’d needed a surgery you might not have lived through. It was Ben’s actions that had saved you…after he donated his blood.

Unless he was somehow giving you transfusions without you knowing, there was only one other possibility you could think of for Ben’s DNA to somehow be in your system…

Holy shit, you thought. And you sat down on the closed toilet. Hard. Enough to dislodge a decorative dish that was perched on a shelf behind you. You gasped, but weren’t able to catch it before it hit the ground loudly. You winced and picked it up, even as you heard Ben’s steps approaching the bathroom. 

“You okay?” he asked predictably, through the closed door.

“Fine!” you said, your voice too high. You cleared your throat and tried to normalize your voice. “I’m fine, just dropped something.”

“Christ. You going for a record today?” he remarked. 

You rolled your eyes. 

A few minutes later, you finished in the bathroom and tried to act as normal as possible as you slid into bed next to your boyfriend. He was watching TV, but he glanced over at you. You knew he was silently assessing you, seeing if you were really okay. 

You gave him a smile and leaned over for a goodnight kiss. You attempted to be chaste, but he deepened it. He slid an arm around your waist and tilted his head, slipping his tongue between the seam of your lips. 

You welcomed him at first…but a tremor of warning flashed in your mind, along with the persistent thought that had followed you from the bathroom.

Should I tell him? 

You didn’t know why your inclination was to hold it in. There very well could be something wrong with you. But if your suspicions were true, then you wanted confirmation first. 

“What’s the matter?” Ben asked. He’d pulled back, sensing your distraction. You came back to yourself.

“Nothing, just tired,” you said, stroking his chest over his shirt. 

Ben looked into your eyes, his face more or less stoic. You saw the way he was trying to get a read on you though, like he didn’t quite believe you. You couldn’t blame him, but you could be very convincing when you needed to be.

He eventually nodded, letting you turn away from him to slip under the covers. Even though you felt the sting of your lie tingling unpleasantly down your spine. 

You met Dr. Tonya Baker at her office in the Supe Affairs building. She’d been Vought’s top scientist, up until last year. After Stan Edgar’s death and the company’s collapse, the CIA recruited Dr. Baker. 

You didn’t like her. Nor did you trust her, exactly, but she had assisted Dr. Vogelbaum when Becca Butcher came to him with a unique problem. Now, Dr. Baker was the only one left with the knowledge and resources to advise you.

And she was able to confirm your suspicions. She came back with lab results while you sat up on an examining table. 

“You’re eleven weeks pregnant,” she informed you. 

Even though you’d been somewhat expecting it, suspicion and knowing were very different things. You took in a shaking breath, and through your shock, you were smiling. Happy, and even relieved.

Until Dr. Baker spoke again. 

“The super strength is probably temporary. A side effect of the fetus’s genetics. But, it’s also advantageous for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses. “This makes it much more likely that you’ll survive the birth.”

Your breath ceased at that thought, not to mention her clinical delivery. 

“Always with that delightful bedside manner, Doctor,” you quipped. All of a sudden, you were feeling lightheaded. 

Or maybe you were just freaking the fuck out. 

When you got home that evening after work, Ben watched you. 

He knew something was off with you the second you walked through the door, pale and pensive. Still, you flashed him a greeting and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes on your way to the bedroom. 

So he followed you. And the fact that you didn’t even notice, even flinched when he dropped a hand on your shoulder, told him that you were more than just distracted. The last straw was when you walked into the dresser while glancing back at him. You hissed and shook out your sandle-clad foot. 

Now, you were injury prone at the best of times, but this was a bit much, Ben thought. 

“Geez, I didn’t even hear you,” you said, trying at a chuckle. “Normally you thud around in those combat boots like an elephant. We’re lucky no one lives below us—”

“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked. He was never one to beat around the bush. 

Your eyes widened a fraction; unease crept down your spine, but you gave him a quirk of your brow. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You fucking heard me,” he said. His gaze was hunter green, serious, and focused down on you.

“I’m fine, Ben—”

“No,” he snapped. “There’s something off with you.” 

You bit your lower lip. It seemed your boyfriend knew you better than you thought. You’d had a plan though. You had wanted to wait until you had a moment to shake off your anxiety and focus on the good when you sat him down this evening.

But you should’ve known better. Ben was remarkably impatient, even when he didn’t know what he was in for. 

And he got tired of waiting for your answer. 

He changed tactics, reaching for your arms. His grip was firm, but gentle in brushing his thumbs back and forth across your skin. His mouth was in a line, and you caught the concern hiding under his furrowed brows. 

“What’s so bad you can’t tell me?” he asked. 

You looked up into his eyes. Despite yourself, you had to smile. I’m not playing fair, you realized. 

“Okay, come ‘ere,” you said. You took his hand and led him to sit with you on the bed. Pulling his hand between both of yours into your lap, you sighed and thought about how you were going to say this. 

After a moment, you got a burst of inspiration. You held up a waiting finger to him and went into the closet to pull out one of your 25-pound hand weights. It might as well have weighed a pound, for how light it felt. You brought it back to the bed, and Ben stared back at you quizzically. 

“So…I didn’t get that table from IKEA,” you confessed. “It was solid wood, and I really did break straight through it.”

He rose a brow. “All right…”

You then showed him your newfound strength, by breaking the hand weight in half with your bare hands. His eyes widened, making you giggle a bit. You deposited both metal heads into his hands. He considered them, then you. His brows were knitting together even tighter. 

“What the hell—”

“Remember when you donated blood for me, when I was laid up in the hospital a couple years ago?” you asked. “I got your super strength for a day or two afterwards.”

Ben nodded. You had been a bit more than laid up, but semantics, he guessed. He was getting more confused by the moment. 

“Well this time, I’m told it’s also temporary…for the next seven months or so,” you said with a playful smile. 

Ben considered your words. He turned them back and forth in his head… 

Finally, his gaze flicked from yours to the broken weights in his hands. And he tossed them to the floor with a heavy thud on the hard wood. 

You giggled in earnest when he reached for your face with both hands. His eyes searched yours for any hint of a joke, his jaw tight and working. 

“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. His voice was a hint unsteady. You smiled bright and covered his hands with your own as the beginnings of tears stung in your eyes. 

“Not this time,” you said. “Ben, I’m pregnant.” 

It took him a moment to register your words. You saw the moment it all finally set in, with new realization etching into his features.

Never once had you seen this man tear up. He turned his face away, but you still caught the edges of his emotion. 

You reached for his bearded cheek, turning him back to you. His eyes were red and starting to shine, even though he was fighting it. A muscle in his jaw clenched, and then eased.

After a beat, his hands moved down from your face to brush down your arms, down your sides and around your frame. He pulled you into his lap, for which you went willingly into his arms. And your tears fell in earnest when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You knew what this meant to him, but you still couldn’t help but prod at him.

“Are you happy?” you teased, rubbing his back. Ben huffed and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 

“What do you think?” he countered.  

Your hand moved down to slip under his shirt, gliding over the taut muscles in his back as they responded to your touch. You met him with a small smirk. 

“Show me,” you challenged. 

His lips quirked; that was all the encouragement he needed. Ben’s hands moved to tangle in your hair and squeeze the curve of your waist, bringing you flush against him when he kissed you. You inhaled deeply. Your nails dragged up his back, applying some pressure that made his shoulders twitch. 

You didn’t know what your newfound strength felt like to him, but for Ben, you felt solid in a way you hadn’t before. He could let go of some of his self-control and knead your hips with a force beyond bruising.

He could veer away from your lips and raze down your neck, and give your shoulder a love bite that would’ve drawn blood. Now it didn’t even break your skin. It did, however, earn him a pleased gasp. 

Maybe he’d just have to keep knocking you up, he thought. So you’d always be this strong.  

You started rucking up his shirt first, and had to push him back to even get it off him. After that, all bets were off.

It was a mad scramble to shed each other’s clothes, with Ben not being able to get away with his usual manhandling. Your smile grew, as you now had the strength to literally push back and make him work a bit harder for it.  

He smirked up at you when you managed to take him by surprise and push him back onto the bed. You’d successfully bared him for your gaze, but you still had your bra and panties on as you climbed over him and straddled his lap. 

Ben held himself up with a hand on the bed as the other slid around your waist and hooked you in. You took his face in your hands and gave him the full force of your passion.

Your lips claimed his in a devouring kiss, teeth clicking and tongues dueling for dominance. And you ground down your clothed core against his rising length, earning his groan of appreciation into your mouth.

With a flick of his wrist, your bra strap snapped off in the back. You huffed, knowing he’d probably broken the clasp.

Ah well, I’m about to need new ones soon enough.

The thought made you smile against his lips. You let him pull the bra down your arms and wherever he decided to fling it off to. You thought he might start traveling down between your breasts, as was a favorite path of his to map out.

But then, in one smooth motion Ben had you flipped over onto your back. He grinned at your yelp of surprise, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover. He latched onto your neck again, this time on the other side as he scraped his beard and teeth across your skin.

Meanwhile, you moaned encouragements in his ear while his heavy hand squeezed one of your breasts, rolled a thumb over a pert nipple. 

You trailed your hands down his chest, soothing over golden tan skin and freckles and sculpted muscle until you reached his hard length. You earned a straining grunt from your man as you teased the sensitive flesh, a thumb circling over its weeping head. 

Ben grabbed your wrist and gave you a warning look. “Can’t let me fucking concentrate, huh?”

You just grinned and took his hand instead. You dragged it down your body until you guided his fingers into your underwear, between your wet folds. 

“Ben, I need you,” you said. But your need was already in your eyes. Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, and deep inside, where you burned for him most. 

Ben felt it in your iron grip on his hand, now almost as strong as his own. Your legs curled up his thighs to wrap around his hips, teasing him with the soft promise between your inner thighs. So how could he do anything else but give you what you wanted? 

He teased between your folds with his fingers first. Gathering some of your wetness, he circled over your clit firmly. You whimpered as your back arched in response. 

“Gonna sing for me, baby doll?” he teased. Your breathing became more labored as his fingers continued to play with you, but you managed to offer a small smirk. 

“You gonna make me?” you asked. “Think you need to bring out the big guns for that one.”

Ben chuckled. As usual, you were being a little shit. 

So he brought you to the edge of your release, just with his fingers. You were starting to squeeze them tight with your inner walls, your moans getting more urgent. But he withdrew his digits at the last moment, leaving you panting and confused.

“What…”

He smirked down at you and wrapped his slick fingers around his cock, stroking himself a few times. You watched him with expectant, hungry eyes.  

“You want the big guns, I’ll fucking give ‘em to you,” he said. It made you huff, but you had to smile as he returned to you. He hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties and slowly, torturous, he pulled them down your legs.

Those same hands then traveled back up, gliding across your skin with purpose. Your breath shallowed in anticipation.

He eventually gripped your hips, pushing your thighs up a bit farther, and you lined his cock to your entrance. Your heels dug into his ass and added a bit of force when he pushed inside you. And your moans tangled together along with your bodies.

You fairly pulsed inside, and he felt it in your inner walls wrapped so fucking tight around him. His forehead briefly fell to your shoulder. Even though you were panting for breath, you still soothed him, carding your fingers through his hair. 

Normally he’d be going off at a relentless clip by now. But Ben started slow, rolling his hips back and forth into yours at a steady rhythm that managed to take your breath away and make your toes curl.

His name fell from your lips, reverent and pleased. You felt every part of him as he plunged inside you, and it was incredibly fucking hot.  

He took a moment to meet your eyes. He gave you a grin that softened the hard edges that so often lined his face in times like this. And you realized then what was happening.

Ben didn’t do slow. Not for long anyway. But it seemed like he’d taken your challenge to heart. In fact, you had a feeling he was showing you what he couldn’t quite put into words. 

When he reached a hand to part your folds and circle two insistent finger pads around your clit, you couldn’t help but grip his arms tight enough to bruise him. Your mouth opened on a keening moan.

Combined with his deep strokes starting to brush all the right spots inside you, it had you squeezing on him from the inside as you came hard, and made it known in his ear.

“Fuck—” Ben’s brows furrowed as your release finally triggered his own. And his voice joined yours, muffling in the pillow under your head. You shuddered as he spilled deep inside you. 

Your arms came around his back and held him to you for a moment afterwards, just stroking his back, his shoulders, his neck, whatever you could reach while you both caught your breath.

Eventually, Ben’s lips found your neck. You felt the shape of his smile grow there. 

“Too bad you’re already knocked up, or that could’ve been a great way to bring in our second kid,” he remarked.

This time, it took a second for his words to click together in your mind. As soon as they did, you uttered a laugh that shook both of your frames. You swatted his ass in reproach. He smirked down at you.

“I can't with you,” you said. Though you were still giggling. “You’re just gonna have to wait for the first one to come out of the oven.” 

Ben’s smirk evened out into a grin, his face almost boyish in his glee.

“Well, what can I say, baby? You’re a damn good cook.”  

AN: 😂 Well then. What did you think of how she broke the news? And Ben's reaction to finding out he's finally going to be a dad? 🥹

But of course, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses in Part 2. The reader and Ben reveal the good news to her family, and as we all know, he's hoping for a son...

Next Time:

“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”

“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.

“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”

You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Keep reading: PART 2

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26 @spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

@xoxovienna @katherineann814 @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28 @nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022 @emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow

@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @karnellius @kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun @lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2

@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420 @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92

[ellesliterarycorner]

Writing Scenes Out of Order

Gonna be honest with y'all, I have never ever written a story completely in order. I am actually incapable of doing that. Even though I write the most detailed outlines known to man before I even think about writing, I still can’t write the scenes in order. I swear by this because I sincerely believe that writing scenes out of order increases my productivity which I’ll talk about later. Even if you haven’t done this before, I recommend everyone try it at least once, so without further ado, here are a few reasons that you should write your stories out of order. 

You Can Write The Ending First

When you write your scenes in order, generally that means that you’re going to write the ending last. In my experience, the ending is one of the most important things in your story, so I recommend that even if you write everything else in order, always write the ending first. Writing the ending first always gives you a light at the end of the tunnel. It gives you a destination to eventually reach. Even when you feel like your story is going absolutely nowhere, it allows you to go back and see what you want the ending to look like from the beginning which should help your motivation and hopefully lessen that pesky writer’s block!

Oh, Those Continuity Issues 

Continuity issues are the absolute worst. I can never seem to remember the way that I described stuff at the end of the book when I’m writing everything back at the beginning. One thing that does get frustrating about writing scenes out of order, is keeping up with continuity like what season it is, what characters have already met, and even who is alive and dead at certain points. Writing scenes in order eliminates these issues because you are writing everything in the order that it happens. I would most definitely recommend keeping an outline or at least a sheet of notes when you’re writing scenes out of order, so that you can keep yourself organized and lessen the continuity issues that you have to go back and fix in later drafts!

You Can Follow Your Inspiration

I plot every scene out extensively, but if I do have an idea for a scene, I immediately write it down and worry about where it fits into the story later. For me, this increases my motivation because at least I'm writing something even if it wasn't in my original outline. Every story has scenes that aren't the most interesting, and as writers, those can be the hardest scenes to write. Especially if you write all of the interesting scenes first, you won't have anything to look forward to when you're struggling through the more transitional parts of the story. This is just my opinion, but whenever I write in chronological order, my motivation goes down a lot. I like writing whatever scenes I want to write instead of writing what comes next in the story. Knowing that I can write whatever scene I want to next makes me super excited about writing

Sprinkle In That Foreshadowing

Y’all know how much I love me some well done foreshadowing. It’s simply one of the best things about reading and writing. But, writing foreshadowing can be really complicated if you aren’t sure how the story ends or even how the foreshadowing will fit into the story later. Because I normally write the ending scenes first, when I finally get around to writing the beginning scenes, I can easily sprinkle in little bits of foreshadowing or allusions to later scenes. It also helps me not overly foreshadow anything because I can go to the end and make sure I'm not doing too much.

[songfell-ut]

Songfell anniversary post, pt 1

Eyyy so four years ago today, I posted the first three chapters of my story on AO3, having seen an unfinished comic and gotten permission from the artist to write a fic using her premise. This here is the first piece of Songfell art ever, commission from the OG comic creator, @lostmypotatoes 👌

So! I am not posting any new content for the moment. My mom has been having health problems, including me having to help take her to the ER (she's fine, just needs to stay in bed for a while), which delays actual writings a bit. What I am doing is reposting art from four years of Tumblr! C'mon down memory lane, wheeeeee

(Part 2, Part 3)

This is going to be in VERY VERY approximate chronological order as it depicts stuff in the story. Stuff with no set place in the story will be guesstimated because I have that power ah ha ha ha ha

Disclaimer: I've pulled all of these from posts or reblogs made by this specific blog. If I didn't see or repost any Songfell art you've done, especially for the videos, I did not leave it out on purpose. I threw in exactly one image from Discord for the sake of completing a set, but that was it.

In cases of multiple...okay it's just the fork scene that has multiple iterations because everyone liked it, but besides the opening one here (which is still my AO3 pfp!), the one that was the first piece of non-commissioned art I ever got will be first. Enjoy!

This was the first non-potatoes art in the videos, I believe, done by the superlative @venelona (probably the most prolific of the arts on here), when somebody realizes he's gonna lose 😘

The collection skips ahead to Sans contemplating killing the nice lady and then totally randomly thinking of Kris instead, by @mambourin D: But whaddya know--

See? That's the sound of losing, son

That's the sight of losing, by @sharkowskii, whose work speaks for itself. Here's the whole thing, colored fantastically by Vene.

Know what else they did together, and happens once he's been knocked out?

(Look at this so good holy shit) Frisk's had a bit of a tired, scared cry in the hall, and it's time to face her new guest head-on.

I lost my mind at least a little bit when I first saw these, ngl. I can't find the next page that she did for the compiled "movie" video 😢 But now we're coming up on a fun bit of Songfell lore!

I was scrolling through Tumblr and glanced over what looked like a picture of my Frisk ha ha that was kind of VENELONA DID A THING WAIT WHAT

First ever fanart, that's what. We have a High Priestess who is completely done with his goddamn nonsense, and

Pictured: goddamned nonsense. N-Not like he LIKES you, baka

Aaand here's my Discord pfp, by @xxkoichiixx (who seems not to be on here anymore D:).

And here's a very plausible alternate outcome by @vafro1.

Though this was a bit more like it, thanks to @naomyart.

Oh look a distraction after he was stupid what are the odds (Catler1!)

Last and never least (none of you are >:( so there), puns are dumb and it turns out they're into it. The End...for now

...

Bonus outtake recording illustration from @dale-the-human

[whumpsday]

K&J: Kane's Whumptober Bites #6

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: vampire whumpee, body mods (piercings), burns, torture, begging, mouth whump, multiple whumpers, sadistic whumper, starvation, captivity, referenced starvation-based weight loss

@whumptober Day 6 (Alt): Body Modification / Panic

-

The hunter roamed Kane’s spread-eagle body with the piercing gun, indecisive. Everything burned, little points of agonizing pain nestled into him all over.

The silver laid in his ears, his brow, his nose, his belly button, and countless varied points across his body. Inserted carefully with a needle, or just punctured into his skin with the piercing gun. He squirmed where he’d been ratcheted down, helpless to resist even if he thought it would do any good.

The truth was, he’d have remained still and pliant even if they hadn’t restrained him at all. He knew resisting would only make everything worse.

“Eh, fuck it.” The hunter pinched the skin of his ankle, seemingly at random, and pressed the piercing gun to it.

Kane screamed as it joined every other point of contact with the horrible, burning metal, searing into him as his skin wept. As the hunter released his skin, the piercing settled practically against bone, no fat left to protect him after so long starving.

“Please, please, no more,” he begged, tears streaming down his face and sizzling on the silver resting against his cheekbones. They must have been going for almost an hour at this point.

“This looks so fuckin’ cool,” the hunter said to his partner, entirely ignoring Kane’s begging.

She shrugged. “It’s just gonna rip it all out once we let it up.”

“Yeah… oh, I know! I could do corset piercings, but between its arms, in back.”

Kane didn’t know what corset piercings were, but the meaning was clear: whatever it was, it would prevent him from ripping the silver out of him, the only thing that had been keeping him sane during the grueling process.

“No!” he wailed, struggling against his bonds as his panic flared. “Please, please, I’ve been good! Please don’t leave them in, I can’t, it hurts, please make it stop!”

The one without the gun smirked. “Or you could just leave it strapped there.”

“My way’s more fun. But first…”

The hunter grabbed Kane by the chin, hard, forcing his mouth open. Delicious human blood, right there, inches from his fangs, so close he could almost taste it, if only his jaw was stronger than the hunter’s hand.

“Careful,” his partner cautioned, though she didn’t sound too worried.

“I know what I’m doing. Tongue out, leech.”

Kane’s stomach rolled with dread, knowing exactly where this was going. Still, he knew he couldn’t do anything to resist. And maybe, just maybe, he’d get to taste–

The hunter quickly sent a piercing through the tip of his tongue.

It ripped a guttural cry from him, the silver quickly devouring the soft flesh of his tongue, charring it as the smell of burning meat got even closer. He kept his tongue stuck out, a meager attempt to stop it from burning the rest of his mouth.

“That’s better. No more whining. Alright, let’s flip you over and do the arms.”

[hacked-by-jake]

SPOILERS

Alright I have way too many thoughts and emotions so there ain't no way I'm gonna be able to organize everything into a nice sentence but I still gotta get it out 🤣🤣

First off, my notes app with some of my thoughts I wrote down while playing (in chronological order):

Where's Jake?

No premium?

Why and where is nymos

Why are we playing candy crush instead of hacking

Again: Where's Jake, he prob sees our chats and knows whats happening (hopefully)

The characters seem like an almost identical reflection to duskwood

What happened to Richy, please don't die on me 😩

Where's the others

We're now paying to see the secret chats

Why's this game taking so much of my money

Ash really be making me cry about Jake again 🥴

Eric be throwing himself at us when I still want to stay loyal to my hacker boy 💀

The ending: I KNEW MY BABY WAS ALIVE I LOVE HIM, I DEMAND HE TALKS TO US NEOW 👹

AND ALAN I MISSED HIM TOO MWAH MWAH

Rant 1:

The money milking makes me sick and don't even get me started on the ai 🫡 I spent 17 bucks today, halfway through the first episode and already out of all the materials I bought. It's disgusting how Everbyte has completely flipped and is practically scamming their players. Based on the prices, it's almost 3 dollars to view one picture 🙄 I would be more than happy to buy a premium package like duskwood for $20 or even 30 but $17 for not even half an episode is a crime 😭😭

Rant 2:

It's crazy how long this game took and yet it's way worse than duskwood. I was expecting a few additions, not subtractions.

Rant 3:

There is no way to see previous media and calls like in duskwood and no chat history like they promised. I never would've thought it was possible, but these mini games are way worse than duskwoods. And I realized how childish it all looks, I hate how we get no explanation for anything we're doing in the game.

Conclusion:

I'm pissed but seeing the anonymous mask gave me life. I need to go replay duskwood to cleanse myself of moonvale 😮‍💨

Pahahaha you're really killing me with your thoughts, I love your humor so much. 😭

I really should also start to write down my first thoughts while playing but I fear I will write down something to every little sentence I read. xD

But it's so true, where's Nymos? Give us Nymos back! My emotional bond with this unreal little dude is huge so I seriously need him. It's literally a program but it's a he you can't change my mind because I imagine Nymos as Jake best friend who's exactly like Jarvis from Marvel. (Sorry if you don't know it but then I really recommend you to watch the Iron Man movies. (Actually all marvel movies but we're talking about Jarvis here so you best see or more like hear him in Iron Man)

Btw my headcanon is that Nymos is not just any program but also an AI. So and now I will expand the headcanon and say Nymos is an AI that is against AI art and nobody can stop me, hehe.

The Candy Crush comparison makes me laugh every time and it hurts me because it’s true. xD

The thing with the characters being identical with the Duskwood characters... It's a hard topic in my eyes.

Some people say it way too early to judge this. And it's true. We didn't saw much now. But I do think we can already judge them a bit by what we saw. And when we compare it with how the Duskwood characters were in the first episode, I do think you can see that there's not much yet, sadly.

Like, we had Thomas, the idiot in love with problems to take criticism. We had Jessy the hanger-on that were clinging to Dan but then decided to change sides. We had the funny sunny boy Richy. The pretty cold acting Cleo. We had bitchy Lilly and of course we had the grumpy and unfriendly Dan. They all acted pretty strong from second one, in my eyes.

But I somehow absolutely don't think the Moonvale characters are like the Duskwood characters. Because well, I really think they need stronger personalities.

We have Eric who's a pretty normal guy and even though he tripped twice in one episode he's not at all like Thomas.

We have Ash who's like a very, veeery light version of Jessy and Lilly, in my eyes. Somehow kind but somehow absolutely not trustworthy.

We have Violet who's just.. there sometimes. Even the drunken police chief is more expressive.

Well and Charlie is.. Somehow like Richy and in my eyes has the strongest personality so far.

Oh and not to forget Brian who wasn't even there. Lol.

So yeah, I understand both points but I might see it a bit differently.

"Why's this game taking so much of my money" had me on my knees, laughing and crying at the same time because it's almost funny what Everbyte did and it's just as sad.

During my first playthrough I was also like: Someone give me a crucifix I need to get rid of Eric as soon as possible.

But while replaying I just had to see what happens if you decide to get closer with Eric and I swear it didn't disappoint me. It was hilarious and truly, I want this with Jake. I need such a chat with Jake! Everbyte, please!

I mean, I'm not flirting with Eric because I think he's hot or anything. Sadly, his character isn't interesting to me in this sense. (I need the mysterious guys xD) But I just had to try it and I mean, who knows if it will be important later. It's manipulative, I know, but don't judge me. And also, there's still this little hope for a jealous Jake. *ahem* Sorry, I promise I still feel bad for flirting with someone else. 😩

But gosh, the side story end. It was worth all the wait, really. I said before, I don’t forget about the negative things because of it but I'm just a silly, lonely, disappointed girl in love with a fictional hacker, let me have this adrenaline boost!

And yes, I was so happy when I saw Alan's body cam. I immediately knew what that means but at first I was just so happy to "see" Alan as well. I really like this guy, I can't stop myself.

About rant 1: I love the comparison with "So expensive is a picture" it is just as true and actually shows again how incredible it all is. I’ve said my opinion many times now, and I still want to protect Everbyte and give them a little empathy. But it's sadly just true.

I had a thought about that (what you said in rant 2) before and wanted to make a post about it later. So I hope it's okay if I get to it later.

Rant 3: This is actually one of the things that botherse the most. We can't rewatch calls, videos and pictures. The chats are disappearing and are gone forever. And they told us it will be different and that's so annoying. Not being able to see it in the app is just bothering for me. And yeah, that they broke the "promise" is as well. We all were so happy about the chat thing and now...

I actually like the look of Moonvale even if I would prefer something much darker. Especially with the mini games. The background is AI, of course, so. It would look much better with a real background.

And the damn mini games... I loved the ones in Duskwood so much. I really did. It was so much fun and I was one of the people who found them very easy.

But now the Moonvale mini games. By lord. Even though they're much easier for me in my replay, the first time I was actually this close to throwing my phone against the wall. I mean, I even went to sleep at some point and finished the game the next day! Everyone who follows me since duskwood knows I would rather shave my head than that. But they're just pain. And I seriously hope Everbyte will make them a bit easier or give us moves! Because this was often the biggest issue for me. Not enough moves. But they want you to buy gems so... 😒

Your conclusion sound good. I'm definitely planning to replay Duskwood as well. If I want or not. I have to. I need the comforting atmosphere and my emotional support hacker.

So I would say, see you in Duskwood, my detective friend. 🫡

No, jokes aside. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me and us. As I said, I love your humor and the way to describe the things. And I really enjoyed answering it. 💚

I hope you could calm down a bit as well. I definitely needed some days before I could see it more clearly.

And as always a huge pleasure to see you here again. 💚😌

[lokischocolatefountain]

1. For Old Time’s Sake || Red Tape, Red Line

Series Masterlist

Fandom: Narcos

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Rating: G (check ratings for each chapter)

Word count: 3.4k words

Summary: Javier runs into an old friend in DC.

A/N: Javier for Day 3! Thanks for the love for the last two fics. Here’s more and here’s my favorite- Javi. I do have a series of him in my Married!Javi fics. Buuuut, it doesn’t follow a chronological order. Unlike that, I’m trying to have a coherent storyline here. Writing a linear story happens to be my downfall so I’m gonna wait and see how this pans out. Hope you like the first instalment of this story!

Wallet, keys, ID, gun, badge.

He froze with his hand on the hotel side table holding only a generic lamp after he’d taken his possessions- wallet, keys, ID. There was no gun to slip into the back of his pants and no badge to strap on to his belt. After eight years of the routine, he’d grown used to the metal digging into his lower back, used to the danger it possessed and the illusion of safety it gave him.

When he’d woken up that night from an imagined bullet to his chest, he reached for it on the same table, his heart seizing up when he found it empty. The quiet streets of DC and the streetlights pouring in through the window helped ground him, told him where he was. He’d taken to repeating the mantra that had been helping him come to after his nightmares. You’re home. It’s over. You’re home. It’s over.

As he slipped into his suit jacket, he wondered if the mantra was even true anymore. When he told himself that it was over and he was home, did he mean the states? Because DC wasn’t home. But was the US home anymore? Laredo? Bogotá? Shit, if it wasn’t the first three, it definitely wasn’t that last one.

He bent down and pulled his suitcase out from under the bed, hand slipping inside to retrieve the red pack of Marlboros he stored inside. Everything was perfectly packed- shirts and pants ironed perfectly, socks rolled up and underwear folded neatly. With everything else in chaos in his life, this bit of orderliness brought him comfort. He once took some pride in how well he could pack his life up within minutes. Not since that hijo de puta rubbed in his face that despite his shit lifestyle, he had a wife and children to go home to. A family man, he’d called himself.

While he couldn’t even look his dad in the eye or bring himself to visit mom’s grave, men like Berna took themselves home to wives and children every night. It must need some level of delusion to be able to do so.

It wasn’t over. Nothing was over. He’d been fired- well, he resigned. Columbia was supposed to be behind him, but there was still work to be done, paperwork to write up, politicians to schmooze. As the day passed, he was passed around from desk to desk, bureaucrat to bureaucrat, all praising him or letting him know just how hard he’d made their lives. State, Defense, DOJ, CIA, the fucking White House— Javi of the past with the hot blood, wide eyes and the need to prove himself would be ecstatic to know where he’d land up in the future. He wouldn’t be too pleased with the journey, though.

He’d won.

At least that was what the ambassador had said. But it didn’t feel like it. While he’d grown up and let the cynicism of life get to him, there was still that younger Javi taking up too much space in his head, telling him that he had failed in what he’d set off to do and sold his soul in the process. That the last eight years had all been for naught. I went after Medellin and Cali and all I have to show for it is the fucking nightmares. Now that would make for a wonderful print on a t-shirt.

“Good afternoon, how may I help?”

“I have an appointment with The Assistant to the Chief of Staff. I’m Javier Peña,” he said, sliding his ID across the rich mahogany desk to the woman. She took his ID, checked her computer, his face, the ID, repeated the process and then slid the ID back to him.

“Mr. Peña, Mr. Reed is in another meeting right now, but he’ll be happy to see you once it’s over. I can direct you to our waiting room.”

Great.

He smiled, nodded and followed the woman through the state department his eyes roving over the workers as he wondered how many of them had to stay late nights to fuck up the progress he and his fellow agents made on the field. How many of them typed up letters from the Secretary of State with directives to back the fuck off right when he was about to nab a valuable target. How many of them were assigned to Colombia, how many to other countries where they played around in their own interests.

He’d always held these people with contempt and not much had changed. They got to sit in their cushy office with the nicest computers and air conditioning while he and his colleagues chased goons in the streets of a foreign country. These couch potatoes who wrote condemnations and pulled visas and told them how to do their fucking job as though they knew what it was like to have a kid threatening to kill you with a hand that was too small to be wrapped around a gun if you didn’t drop your own.

Did any of these people think about men like him? Think about what it was like when you lost yet another partner and had to live with the image of him bleeding out on the road as you woke up from yet another nightmare with yet another realization of what you should’ve done to save his life in that moment.

They did not, he decided when the clock ticked and ticked but there was no word for him. The receptionist came by once or twice to apologize on her boss’s behalf and offer him coffee. Coffee to add to his sleep deprivation? No thank you.

He politely declined both times, willing himself to not take his anger out on the poor woman. She was just doing her job.

When the clock hit six, he got off his chair and stepped out of the waiting room. He’d known frustration. More often than not, he was left clutching his head in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other as his lungs burned from the cigarette between his lips as another step in his mission failed spectacularly. He knew frustration, but nothing like this brand of idle frustration where you had nothing to do but sit on an uncomfortable chair in the office of some prick who got paid more money a year than he would make in his entire life for doing fucking nothing.

So much for being a hero.

“Javier?”

He stopped outside the elevator door, turning around to see the face that called out his name.

Goddamn.

Her name slipped out through his lips, his tongue rolling around with as much practiced ease as it had done all those years ago. She looked exactly the same, yet completely different. Slightly taller as she walked up to him with the same smile, lips painted a deep red. Her hair was down instead of up in a bun. Her eyes gleamed with the same light he’d found in them over a decade ago. Although there was a new addition— crinkles at the corners of her eyes when she smiled. She’d exchanged the more practical field uniform for a nice blouse and skirt. A matching jacket hung off her arm and her hand was wrapped around the handles of a handbag.

“What are you doing here?” They asked at the same time. They exchanged smiles and he followed as she lead him into the elevator.

“I was supposed to meet someone. A Mr. Reed.”

“Ah. He wasn’t here for most of the day. Some fire to put out.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Did they have you waiting the whole day?” She asked, removing the lanyard with her ID. She hissed when it caught in her hair and he stepped in, untangling the thing from her hair and taking it off for her. He took the card between her fingers and read her name out loud.

“Policy Analyst. Damn, Glasses,” he trailed, using her nickname from their time in Quantico. “You really did get yourself the nerdiest job. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

He handed her ID back to her and she shoved it into her bag, smiling at her nickname rather than shoving him like she used to. Or threatening to tell on him to their training officer. “Alright, Pissy Pants Peña. You got me.”

He let out a laugh at her rebuttal. The name surprised him just as it had the first time she used it against him in a moment of weakness even though she’d claimed that nicknames were “so unprofessional and rude. I will not call my fellow trainees rude names just to look cool around other trainees.” The first time was when he’d aggravated her more than usual and she spat out the name he’d earned when he had so much to drink that he pissed his pants.

“Are you free to grab a drink? It’ll be nice to catch up,” he asked, hopeful that a drink with an old friend would make his terrible day a little less terrible.

“As long as you don’t piss your pants,” she joked, lips curving up in an easy smile before she gave him a clear yes.

She took him to a nearby bar, a favorite of the State Department staff, she said. Many recognized her there, including the bartender who asked her if she’d like her usual.

“You don’t do tequila shots anymore, I’m guessing.”

“Ah, no,” he chuckled, thinking back to his training days when they went out and got drunk on the rare days off from their intensive routine. “These days, I—”

“Whiskey?”

“Yeah. How did you guess?”

“You look like a whiskey man. I can just picture you sitting in a dark corner of a bar, all alone and serious, avoiding paperwork or thinking about how to bend the rules.”

“Oh? That so?”

“Mhmm,” she said, sipping on her glass of red wine. She was always a wine drinker. A wine snob, one might say. She did that little swirl that wine drinkers did, took a whiff of the drink and then a small sip.

“Is that part of your job as policy analyst? Analyzing lonely men in bars and guessing what’s in their heads…”

“No, but I’ve had to creep on lonely men drinking their whiskeys in my last job.”

“Oh? What was that?”

“CIA Operative.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. She didn’t seem the CIA type. But then again, it could be his generally positive regard for her and negative regard for the CIA that made it hard for him to imagine her being part of those bastards.

“And you left because?”

“I found out that I had to do things I didn’t want to do in order to survive in the CIA. Didn’t have the stomach for it. I thought that if I just followed all the rules and did my job, I could succeed, but…” she sighed before taking a sip of her drink. “I learned that doing the right thing and doing my job contradicted each other a bit too much.”

Under the dim light that hung above her head, she didn’t look as naïve as she used to. Following every little rule will get you nowhere, Glasses. He’d made fun of her for it several times, told her she didn’t know what the real world was like, that she was in for a big shock. Little did he know that he would be in for just as much shock if not more. While she was intent on doing everything by the book, she at least knew that certain things could never change. Her ambitions weren’t too big. While he and their other classmates talked big about changing the fucking world, she said she just wanted to do her part, just help things along. She saw the nuts and bolts of the machine, know how the gears turned and pointed to every mechanism that would stop him from realizing his lofty dream of “winning the war on drugs, baby!”

“There is no war. It’s just money and politics and even more money. And a fuckload of racism.”

Javi of the past chided her for her cynicism, but if she told him that now, he would buy her a drink.

“Oh and there was the time I got shot, so I can’t really be on the field anymore. My insides are too messed up,” she said, moving the fabric of her shirt aside to reveal a healed bullet wound peeking out from under her bra strap. “Guadalajara. And this is just one of seven. The guy was a terrible shot, though. And my surgeon was fucking amazing, so I live to tell the tale.”

“A lot has happened, huh?” He remarked, considering her wound carefully as he wondered where the other six bullets had hit her body. The knowledge that she’d look completely different underneath her clothes compared to what he remembered covering in kisses infuriated him. He needed to relearn the body he should’ve taken more time to learn. To strip the proper clothing off her and acquaint himself with what was new and reacquaint himself with the familiar. Would he even remember what was new? Was the one time enough for him to register her in his mind?

“Hmm yeah. A lot. Like your work with the cartels. You and your guys always found a way to get on our nerves in State.”

“Oh?” He feigned innocence. “I didn’t know I was pissing you off, Glasses. I’m sorry.”

“Aww, he’s sorry. Don’t even try me, Peña. It was almost like you and what’s the other guy’s name…? Murphy? Like you two were fucking shit up just to get on my nerves. And then Duffy and Lopez. Duffy always pissed me off, but then he and Lopez had to go have their faces plastered on the papers. I thought it was just some other Javier Peña but then that happened and I was sure it was you.”

“I didn’t ask Duffy and Lopez to do that, I swear. They did that all on their own.”

“Really? I knew you and Duffy were close back in the day. And it looked like something you would do, breaking the rules like that.”

“Now give me some credit, hermosa. Maybe I’ve learned to follow the rules a little in the past few years.”

“As one of the people who had to put out the fires you started, I’ll have to disagree respectfully.”

“I’m surprised I have your respect now. I didn’t have a modicum of that back then.”

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I had some respect for you.”

“That so?”

“Yeah. You always…you wanted to do the right thing. We have differences of opinion on what the right thing was, but you always wanted to choose the option that would do the most good. I always admired that.”

“I’m not that person anymore.” He was the man who lied to his agents that the Ambassador did not prioritize the safety of their Cali insider. He was the man who got into bed with Los Pepes and did it again to rescue Christina Jurado. Whatever good she’d seen in him fizzled away the moment things got hard for him. He wondered how she would’ve done it. Had he been the type to follow rules like her, would he have kept his soul intact?

“I’m not surprised. I’m not the same person either. No glasses for one,” she joked, getting a light chuckle out of him. Her light demeanor dulled just a little and he could see through her eyes some kind of darkness that wasn’t there before.

“Things are rarely as we expect when we’re at the heart of the problem. Making the right choice is more…complex because— we have to choose between option that will all hurt people terribly in one way or the other.”

He nodded and took a sip of his drink, his mind reeling with all the times he needed to make decisions like that. They tended to be a lot more complex that he imagined when he was young and idealistic.

“Job like that, if it doesn’t change you, are you even human?”

“Right,” he said, not fully agreeing with the sentiment. The standards were completely different for the two of them. Sure, she would’ve faced those choices in the CIA. But she left. Long ago, he assumed, from her senior position at the State Department.

Whatever she had to do as CIA operative, it made her leave. Unlike him, she had the moral clarity to do it as early as she did. She looked more at ease now.

Maybe it was the fact that she had a cushy office job now, but the perpetual tension in her shoulders was missing. He’d prefer her version of change to his. Perhaps he should take up an office job, be relaxed, sit back at a desk and attend meetings about when to have meetings. His body sure couldn’t handle the field anymore. His knees and ankles still felt his jump from a balcony when he chased Jurado in Curaçao.

As much as he liked condemning himself to hell for his sins, as much as he liked withering away in shame when people heaped him with praises, it felt good to be on the receiving end of her empathy. The job did change everyone. If Glasses, the goody two shoes, stickler for the rules, ultimate teacher’s pet could understand that… Maybe he should too. If the field had changed someone like her, of course it changed him.

“So, umm… it’s getting late,” she said, looking up from her watch. “I have a rule about not having more than two drinks and,” she held up her second glass, half a sip of red wine resting in the bottom. “I had an early day today and will have an earlier day tomorrow. I got a meeting.”

Shoulders slumped, he nodded at her slowly. He didn’t want her to leave, didn’t want to lose the piece of a much calmer past. “It was great seeing you again, Glasses.”

“Likewise, Triple P.”

He tilted his head to one side, smiling at the new nickname. “Pissy Pants Peña is quite the mouthful, so… And it would be weird if my bosses heard it. We aren’t in our early twenties anymore and stupid shit like this could ruin a career.”

“Well, I no longer have a career to be ruined, so… But thanks anyway,” he said, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.

“Nah ah ah,” she said in a sing-song voice, reaching into her bag. “You’re in my city, I’m not letting you pay. It’s bad manners.”

“Is it now?” he said, sliding a wad of cash across the bar to the bartender. “Is that one of your rules?”

“It is. You’re a guest in D.C. and it’s poor hospitality to not buy you a drink,” she said before turning to the bartender. “Josh, don’t take his money,” she said, handing the man some dollar bills from her purse. Josh ignored Javier’s money and took hers instead, alluding to whatever loyalty he had for her. She did say that the place was a State Department favorite. It made sense that she was on a first name basis with the guy.

He thumbed his mustache, the bristles scratching his finger gently. “What if I have a rule about that? That it’s poor manners to make a beautiful woman pay for her drinks and mine…”

“Then I’d expect you to say thank you for aiding you in your rule-breaking. I know how you love to do that.”

He grinned and licked his lips slowly, taking her in as she walked ahead of him. She never wore clothes like that before, pencil skirts that hugged her ass and high heeled shoes that made her hips sway in the most mesmerizing rhythm. As though feeling his stare, she turned around suddenly, making his head whip up so fast he could’ve broken his neck. Or it was just his old age.

“So, umm…Lunch sometime? We could continue this conversation,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Or not!” She added quickly. Painted fingernails scratched at each other, chipping away at the already lightly chipped red paint. “I know you’re really busy.”

“Never too busy for you, Glasses. Drinks again tomorrow night?”

“Yup. I’ll see you here at 6:30? If my schedule doesn’t change too much, that is.”

“6:30 is good.”

.

.

.

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[mysticcollectionbee]

Loki Season 2 Ep. 1 Thoughts:

(Heavy Spoilers)

Ok so I have a lot of thoughts and are basically all over the place so I'm gonna be putting in them in somewhat chronological order (Unlike Loki's current situation hehe)

They really HAD to put more of Loki's heartbreak over Mobius not recognizing him? Loki creators probably: "I know we're gonna bring the duo back but let's make 'em suffer just a bit more in the beginning".

I know others have covered this but also want to spread this headcanon/theory: Even though past Mobius doesn't know Loki ,and probably got his memory erased afterwards, It's still an interesting theory that maybe his interactions with Loki then might have somehow stuck with him and made him want to look into Loki a bit later.

Miss Minutes is with Ravonna right? I feel likeMinutes is probably the only tool/weapon that might give the former judge some leverage.

Casey! Casey not just being a comedic guy but actually a massive help is really nice. He (Present Casey) immediately saw Loki in pain/trouble and decided to help him without much question.

So...X-5 and D-90 weren't what I was expecting, they're kinda switched actually from what I was expecting. I thought X-5 would be a friend to Mobius and kinda con-artist and D-90 was a massive jerk who would side with Ravonna...But hey, I'm all for D-90's redemption.

New Judge is great. Screw Ravonna!...Where's Ravonna?

Apparently she was in on HWR's plan from the beginning...Guess she is a big bad after all. Also, why was she so great to HWR? Like in the comics they were couple but things seem to have taken a different turn in the MCU.

Look, I get it if you don't ship Lokius but...You have to admit was really nice to see Loki get some support from Mobius (And B-15, don't forget her stopping Ass-5) and then Mobius trying to calm/ground Loki while the poor dude is really going through it. AND even later, Loki and Mobius trying to make the other calm down and not to worry about their problems.

IF you do ship Lokius. We're either getting fed well or being clowned upon. Either way, let me just enjoy these two for a bit.

Why has no one talked about the weird fact that O.B.'s memory doesn't seem to have been erased but Mobius' has? Also, is O.B. like a TVA secret? Why the hell is no one in the TVA visiting him! How is he able to keep track of time in the TVA?!

Ok so that guidebook O.B. made, Loki still has it right? Like in a trailer clip he is flipping through an orange book, that's the guidebook right?

I love how Mobius is still thinking about whether he'll lose his skin or not till the very last minute lol. We know he's always was gonna pick saving Loki no matter what, but you'd totally still be worried about the skin thing.

I think Loki was pruned by either Future Sylvie or Future Loki. I think Future Loki and Sylvie came up with a plan to make sure Present Loki got pruned and survived. Also...Sylvie growing out her hair to have 50/50 hair colors is making me more of Bi idiot than usual.

While I enjoy the comparison to the Sam/Bucky roll to Lokius I think there is a key difference: FaTWS played this for comedy while this was played for relief that the characters are ok. And Sam immediately told bucky to get off while Loki probably just thought Mobius's suit was too heavy. (Yes, I'm wearing clown makeup, what about it.)

Finally, And I know how controversial this is: I don't think Loki is looking for Sylvie for romantic reason (OR more accurately, not the sole reason). She is literally about to be hunted down and probably killed and was the last one to see what happened in the Citadel. Even if he did feel betrayed by her, he still would probably want to save her.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Sweet Music Playing In The Dark (Be Still, My Foolish Heart) [ Part Four ]

[ Part 1 ] [ Part 2 ] [ Part 3 ]

{ I'm 100% not writing these in chronological order. I just write them as the ideas come and they don't come in order of the story. Just in moments inspired by the songs. Hopefully y'all still enjoy them!!! Cuz i really love this little story. Even though it's like a little patchwork quilt of a thing. 💛💙💛 }

🍒🍒🍒

They've been together for a bit. Their relationship is still private. For the most part. But they're very publicly friends. Always together and laughing and adorable. But in private, they're dating. Taking it slow. Cuz touring life is bonkers and they're both busy writing and doing their music.

But Eddie starts seeing some shit from Steve's fans. Like, an oddly puritanical little sub group. That the other fans are always like "no thank you. Please don't associate with us OR steve please." And They've been posting things about eddie "corrupting" steve and saying shit like, "Eddie's making him go down a path he'd never choose on his own".

And that Eddie's a cult leader and indoctrinating steve. And some even say shit about robin and chrissy too. That they're like, Eddie's cult wives. And they sent him some of those comments and Chrissy was like,

"Robin's gagging. She loves you. But she's gagging." And Eddie laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair. But he takes the comments and shows Steve.

Because he is not social media guy. He's never on there. And he reads some of them and just keeps frowning and frowning and eddie just curls into his side and is like,

"hey. Its okay. I don't care that they're saying that. I play up the cult thing. You know that." Steve did know that. Loved it. Bought Eddie a shirt that said "cult leader" on it. It's a pink crop top and Eddie adores it. It's his favorite shirt. But steve is like,

"some of these are really mean Ed's." Some of them even mentioned Nancy and how she was so good for steve and so pure and blah blah blah. Eddie snorts VERY loud at that, says,

"did they miss her cheating on you? Just ignoring that are they?" And steve frowns more, says,

"that was never really said publicly." And Eddie's takes his hand, laces their fingers together and says,

"People know Steve. They saw through her. Okay? Just like I did. Your real fans love you. And some of them even love me now." He says, cheeky glint in his eyes. And then he's smiling too, all big and sharp and Steve's like,

"i know that face... what are you planning?" And he's already almost smiling himself, knows its gonna be good. And eddie just wiggles his eyebrows, says,

"I had this idea... for a video. And the idea wasn't originally to have YOU in the video. But I've been thinking, since reading all that shit. That maybe we should have some fun." He leans closer, presses soft kisses to Steve's cheek, the corner of his mouth.

"What did you have in mind?" Steve asks, his eyes closing as he sighs into Eddie's soft touches. Eddie hums, kisses him again, nuzzles into his cheek and kisses down his neck. Pushes steve into his couch and tells him all about it.

~°~

What Eddie had in mind, was this. First, he, Steve, robin, and chrissy are all gonna be in the video. And the CC boys, playing in the background.

Eddie has a warehouse that he bought to make his videos, and others videos, and he does band photoshoots there sometimes. Has done several for Robin and Chrissy and a few for some other artists he's friends with. He loves doing weird little videos with just his friends.

So they go there, the set is literally just a ton of white cloth drapped everywhere. White on white on white. The band is playing all white instruments, the background is white velvet curtains.

Chrissy is in a beautiful white dress. Perfect and pristine, her hair all done with curls, her nails a pretty pearl. Robin's in a snug white suit. Waistcoat and all. Her hair slicked back.

Steve is in fancy white dress pants, a white tank under an open white shirt sleeved button down, Eddie let him do whatever he wanted with his hair, its neat and swoopy and perfect. The CC boys are all in matching white mechanic jumpsuits, white lines painted across their eyes.

Eddie had told them all the required colors and let them dress how they wanted. Told them what would be happening to the clothes too, so they knew.

And Eddie, he's in black skinny jeans, ripped at the knees, and is favorite pink crop top, CULT LEADER, printed in black across his chest in bold letters.

Steve can't take his eyes off him. Eddie makes his rounds, making sure everything is ready. And then walks up to Steve.

"You sure you wanna do this?" He asks, hands on Steve's hips as Chrissy and Robin lean against each other as they wait. Steve just stares at him, bites his lip, and nods.

"Yeah. Let's do this." His eyes are full of excitement and Eddie matches it, his cheeks dimpling as he nods.

They release the video a week later.

~°~

The video opens with Eddie and the band just silhouetted against the background. The music plays and the lights come up when Eddie claps twice and he starts singing, moving and jumping in place to the beat. And when he says,

"is this what you wanted?" The camera jump cuts to Steve and Robin and Chrissy all standing off to the side, stock still, looking a bit like they're in a trance as they answer,

"no!" Eddie sings,

"you want some more?" And they all turn in unison to look at him when they answer,

"yes" and then the lights go up even more, the bright white around them all, their clothes, the velvet, all of it seeming to shimmer as they dance around, moving closer and closer to Eddie as he sings. Eddie looks directly into the camera when he sings,

"who's keeping score?" And then the chorus hits and his attention is all on steve, his hand moving up Steve's neck as he sings,

"cuz youve got a taste now." And steve leans into his touch, looking helpless to it. Robin does the same to chrissy,  her and Eddie in synch as they draw in their partners, touching them and moving with them as Eddie sings about no one loving him like he loves him, steve smirking, his eyes closed, letting eddie touch and move him however he likes, and then Eddie sings,

"but you should've known, that this was gonna end in tears" and "blood" starts falling on them all, red stains blooming across the sea of white, all their clothes bleeding red as Eddie screams the next parts. Steve and the girls jumping and dancing and singing in the bloodrain, Eddie crooks his finger at steve when he sings,

"now come here and give me a hug" and steve saunters over, his hair dripping red as he falls into Eddie's arms. Eddie lowers him to the ground for the next part, his fingers moving and dancing across Steve's throat as he sings,

"i got my hands around your throat. I love way you choke." He dips down further, his lips brushing Steve's as he looks up at eddie, adoration in his eyes, both of them dripping blood as eddie sings,

"Cause i am yours and you are mine, I'll never let you go" right against Steve's lips, and Steve fucking arches into it, his palms flat on the gound.

Chrissy and Robin are fucking waltzing through the blood behind them, their feet kicking at the puddles of blood they glide through, moving across the "stage" as the camera pans after them, capturing the CC boys as well, all of them stained red, their instruments dripping and splashing as they play their hearts out. .

And then eddie is standing, singing the verse again as he moves his hands over steve, and Steve moves with his hands, like a puppet under Eddie's control, dancing and rolling in the blood on the floor. And then Eddie screams,

"GET THE FUCK UP" and steve is on his feet in an instant. Dancing and spinning through the guitar solo until it stops and he freezes, making like he's going to fall back to the floor before Eddie catches him in his arms.

Steve straightens, Eddie spins him and he and drapes himself over Eddie's back, Chrissy does the same to Robin behind them. Steve's hands moving over Eddie's chest and up his neck languidly, slow, with a purpose, dragging his hands through the blood thats covering them all now, Chrissy drops her head back onto Robin's shoulder as Robin tucks her arm loosly around her neck. Eddie stares straight at steve when he sings,

"nobody love you like i love you, oh my dear." And then they both drop their gazes to the camera, looking right at the audience as eddie sings and then screams,

"you should have known. This was gonna end in tears." Steve dropping his chin on Eddie's shoulder as he mirrors Robin's hold on Chrissy.

Eddie's voice goes quiet at the end, him and steve and the girls genlty swaying as the blood falling drenches them, their clothes and everything around them soaked a dark red now.

Eddie and Steve all tangled together just like Robin and Chrissy as the screen fades to black. And just before you loose sight of them all you can see them all laughing together right before Steve tightens his hold on Eddie's neck and pulls him into a kiss.

~°~

They release the video and all their fans go fucking NUTS. Partially because Eddie posted it and captioned it,

"hey. Me and my boyfriend made you guys something." And he puts a little kissy emoji. And everyone FREAKS out. And of course the purity people show up and start being like,

"see! See! His shirt even says it! He's a cult leader!" And people start saying steve looks drugged. Which eddie immediately shuts down and blocks them. But the CCboys go into the comments, cuz they're tired of it. They love steve, and eddie. And them together. And they're like,

"y'all realize they made this video BECAUSE of you nutballs right???" and chrissy and robin just respond to their comment with,

"right???" And like fifteen laughing emojis.

And steve and eddie just turn off their phones and eddie tugs steve into bed and they lay there, just breathing together. And steve nuzzles into his chest and smiles and says,

"at least most of the blood came out of your shirt." Eddie hums, moves his fingers into Steve's hair and says,

"i knew it would. Just a little darker now." He presses a kiss into Steve's hair too, for good measure. Steve wraps his arm tighter around eddie, cuddles closer, whispers,

"just like me." And kisses Eddie's chest as he laughs, tugs on Steve's hair so that Steve's looking up at him and says,

"just like you. Dark and corrupted. Just the way i like you." Eddie teases, both of them laughing into their kiss as Steve drapes himself over Eddie.

When they turn their phones back on they're met by several croped headlines sent to them, and marked up and memed, by Chrissy and Robin. Followed by a text that says,

"congratulations on the big gay announcement! Thanks for letting us be a part of it!" Followed by every single heart emoji they could find and a few edits of themselves with hearts for eyes.

They laugh so hard steve snorts into Eddie's shoulder and eddie almost chokes on the chocolate chip pancakes steve had made him.

Eddie had corrupted him into making breakfast in bed. If only his fans fucking knew.

[nyhti]

What are you currently reading? Any suggestions for someone who is trying to indulge in some older batman runs?

Thank you for the ask!

I recently read Under the Hood for the first time! Then that inspired me to read A Death in the Family again. I wrote a little tag essay about these stories actually, but then didn't post it lol. And then I randomly read Detective Comics #388 ”Public Luna-Tic Number One” (1969) again, which I did post about. Oh, and before that I was reading random Alan Grant issues from the 80s/90s. And also I'm still trying to get through every single Pre-Crisis Lex Luthor issue in chronological order lol xDDD I'm currently in the year 1983. I've also been meaning to read Steve Englehart's run again, because my Hugo fic heavily references it and I wanted to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything about it.

Alright! Now, I don't know exactly what does ”old” mean to you. I mean, some people could consider comics from the 90s old, but to me those are very modern. I'm just gonna talk about Pre-Crisis (1938-1986), because that's what I'm most familiar with. I don't really know nor care about Post-Crisis that much. Aaaaaaaaaaand. I have actually made a list before for Pre-Crisis issues that I'd consider essential right here. It's not a definitive list, I've left out a lot of big issues and put in quite a few personal indulgences, but over all I still think it's an ok list. But you asked about runs so...

Actual runs, at least how we've come to know them, didn't really start until the 70s, I think. Continuity did start somewhere in the 60s though and from then on we do have longer stories like the Outsider saga and Dick leaving. Steve Englehart's run (Detective Comics #469-476 (1977-1978) is the first story that I see people calling a ”run”. It's on my previous list and I'm definitely going to recommend it again lol xDDD It's classic for a reason. And after that the only ones that that I'm personally familiar with are Gerry Conway's and Doug Moench's runs. Gerry Conway's run I'd 100% recommend! I'm not entirely sure what issue could you consider the run starting from, but to me Detective Comics #503 "Six Days of Scarecrow" (1981) is the first issue and Detective Comics #526 "All My Enemies Against Me!" (1983) is the last. It's all collected in Tales of the Batman: Gerry Conway. I loved it personally. It's my favorite Batman run there is <3 And a lot of it is illustrated by Don Newton, who's my favorite Batman artist! And Dough Moench's run? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh. I'll admit, I didn't finish it. It was just so boring DDDx I wouldn't say it was bad, but Moench is not one of my favorite writers lol. I'm going to try and finish it at some point though, because I do want to see how Hamilton Hill's story ends. The run picks up right after Conway's run in Batman #360 ”When Slays The Savage Skull...” (1983) and ends in Batman #400 "Resurrection Night!" (1986). It's the last Pre-Crisis Batman run. It doesn't seem to be collected anywhere, though.

Anyhow, I felt like adding some fun individual Pre-Crisis stories that I really enjoy that I couldn't really put on that older list of mine :333 These are not in anyway big or important stories, just stories that had that special something in my opinion :3

Detective Comics #76 (1943) "Slay 'em with Flowers" Joker being Poison Ivy before Poison Ivy was created <3 This is something that I really like about early Batman. They had so few villains they had to give them themed capers that would've later been given to villains with that actual theme. Kinda like how Hugo was being Scarecrow before Scarecrow was created (Detective Comics #46 (1940)). Also I just really love the art in this <3 It's so lively and flowy. You can see raw scans of the inks of this story in a book called Jerry and the Joker: Adventures and Comic Art. I wouldn't say the colors ruin the inks, but I do think they look nicer without the colors.

Detective Comics #180 (1952) "The Joker's Millions" From since around the 70s every time a writer decides to write a Joker story, they seem to think it has to be BIG. He has to do something HUGE and EPIC. ”The Joker's Millions” continues to be one of the best Joker stories of all time, because all he tries to do in this issue is just pay his damn taxes.

Batman #74 (1952) "The Crazy Crime Clown!" Interesting Joker issue, because this is the first time he's ever in a mental hospital. Golden Age Joker was perfectly sane and it wasn't until the 70s when they made him officially mentally ill, but it's interesting to already see them toying with the idea this early on.

Batman #179/2 "The Riddle-Less Robberies of the Riddler" (1966) First time Eddie's riddle obsession is looked at as anything other than just a silly quirk.

Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane #70-71 (1966-1967) Selina turns Superman into a fukcing kittyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Penguin is here too, I guess.

Batman #200 ”The Man Who Radiated Fear” (1968) Super cute Scarecrow story that includes a couple other villains as well <333 Nothing much more to say. Just a good time!!!!

Detective Comics #377 (1968) ”The Riddler's Prison-Puzzle Problem” A very classic Riddler story <333 I also base my Riddler's psychical appearance on this issue. If they still did stories like this at DC today, I might actually start reading current issues again. Like truly when was the last time we got an actually classic Riddler story? Just a one issue long story where he sends Batman a riddle he's going to rob a bank and then Batman stops him? I miss it when stories were allowed to be small and the characters were just allowed to be themselves, instead of some grimdarktwistedthis'llknockyoursocksoff re-imagining. I love how Eddie gets thrown around in this one <333 His ass looks amazing in this issue <3 Also his hair looks very cute when it's messy <33

Wolrd's Finest Comics #177 (1968) "The Duel of the Crime-Kings!" One of my favorite Joker stories <333 I really think Joker peaked in the late 60s. Really, I think most characters peaked around then. You can probably tell by how many late 60s stories I put on this list.

Batman #210 "The Case of the Purr-Loined Pearl" (1969) I am obsessed with this girl group. All of them iconic. All of them stars. They exist in my verse, too.

Detective Comics #388 (1969) ”Public Luna-Tic Number One” Another one of my favorite Joker stories. They are toying with the mental illness one in this as well with Batman's ”the problem will be whether to put you in prison -- or in an asylum!” quote. Also my Joker's psychical appearance is based on this issue.

Batman #258 "Threat of the Two-Headed Coin" (1974) Fist appearance of Arkham Asylum - or Arkham Hospital as it was called then. I don't know why I didn't put this on my previous list. It should definitely be on there. A Two-Face story.

Batman #291-294 ”Where were you on the night Batman was Killed?” (1977) Here's a slightly longer story. All of my boys and girls are so cute in this <3333 I love it when they are able to get along and also when no-one is above anyone. Yes, some are more popular than other's but they still all feel equal.

Batman #326-327 "This Way Lies Madness", "Asylum Sinister" (1980) Professor Milo story!!!! Yippeeeeeeee!!! I love that you can see day to day life at Arkham!!! Also this is the issue where Milo becomes an Arkham patient.

Detective Comics #503 ”Six Days of the Scarecrow” (1981) A good Scarecrow story. Also the first time he's admitted to Arkham and it's not because of mental illness, but because he suffered an overdose. The overdose saga continues in Detective Comics #526 (1982) where he is still very ill and Jervis takes advantage of his vulnerable state. And then in Batman #373 "The Frequency of Fear" (1984) and Detective Comics #540 "Something Scary" (1984) he's finally recovered. I don't think it's mentioned in these issues whether he was taken back to prison or Arkham once he was captured, so it seems unclear whether or not Pre-Crisis Scarecrow ever became a permanent Arkham patient.

Detective Comics #510 ”Head-Hunt by Mad Hatter” (1982) Technically the second appearance of Jervis, because this is the issue where imposter Mad Hatter and the Jervis we know and love today were split into two characters. Also my favorite Jervis story :333 I base my version's physical appearance on this story :333

The Brave and the Bold #183 ”Let's play... The Death of Batman” (1982) Riddebat shipper's dream comic lol. Just an all around good story!! Love how Eddie is written!! It's so fun. The art is not very good though. The artist had no clue how he wanted to draw Riddler so in some panels he's literally Bruce's identical twin and then in other panels he'll have a completely new face.

Batman #356 ”Double life of Hugo Strange” (1983) My favorite Hugo story <3333 ((((Actually I admit Engelhart's run has kinda started to rival this tbh)))))))) But this one is illustrated by Don Newton so there's that. First time ever we see him without the beard btw! And more importantly this is the issue where he starts wanting to be Batman.

[obislittleone]

Ohh I love HOM so much. I‘be been wanting to ask this for a long time actually! Who knew of obi’s and little one’s relationship? And how did they find out?

The list of who actually knew about Obi and Little One goes as follows, chronologically.

Padme (she was the first person that Little One confided in about her feelings)

Ahsoka (she was accidentally revealed the truth on the ship for that one mission)

Anakin (ahsoka told him... honestly valid tho)

Mak Lotor (through his own speculation as well as personal interaction, he gathered the pieces together long before he even admitted to knowing anything... Little one just gaslit him so badly he was afraid to say something lmaoo)

Various other padawans (don't get me wrong, they were very secretive... but obi and little one still had a connection like no other padawan had with their master... so obviously rumors amongst younger generations of padawans and jedi started up, and since no one put then to rest, everyone just eventually assumed it was official. Though they would never say anything to the higher ups, as they didn't believe the same way older jedi did.)

Dex (yes, I included Dex. Whenever Obi-Wan needed information he knew he could go to Dex, and likewise, Whenever he wanted to talk to someone about something he couldn't confide with other Jedi, he went to Dex. That's why when Little One showed up in the diner, even though there was mass hysteria going on, Dex didn't hesitate to help her and Mak, because he knew what she meant to Obi-Wan, and wanted to help protect her.)

Rex (i think it was probably just accidental word of mouth from ahsoka and anakin, they honestly don't know how to keep a secret from him, even intentionally.)

The entire 212th (listen as soon as cody know something, they all know. Of course, good soldiers follow orders, and they were told to keep quiet about it from their commander, so obviously they ain't gonna spread it to anyone but each other lol)

Mace Windu (this kinda was hinted at with the plot starting in chapter 43. When they were trapped, i think Mace got a better understanding of why their connection was not only important to the Jedi, but also important as a symbol of the future generations. He too has probably loved many people but could never embrace them the way he wanted to because of the Jedi code. I think at first he was almost jealous of the way they behaved, even though under his watch it was mostly just as master and padawan, Otheriwse just as good friends... but after that situation, he felt hope for future generations to not have to be so tightly wound about the laws of attachment. That they could cling to those they love as long as it benefits the jedi order and makes them stronger. After they were rescued from being trapped, Mace saw the dedication Obi-Wan had to finding her. If one thing coukd be said, he was certain that this entire was was going to be won by Obi-Wan, if only to keep her safe, and i think that's when his approval settled in. Now, he by no means ever receivedactual confirmation, but let'sbe so for real, he absolutely knew about their relationship.)

Master Yoda (his feelings through meditation were always very in tune, but he never set his mind to try and confirm something like so many other did. His suspicion did not outweigh his need to just feel the force around him, therefore he never went searching for answers as he believed whatever was happening would reveal itself in time. I think that's why he was genuinely a bit in shock at the revelation of obi and little one, and when he dropped that baby bomb during order 66. Yoda has suspicion like all the other masters, and he'd also heard the rumors, but since he never went searching for answers, he never actually had any confirmation that the speculation was true. Until it was all dumped on him at once in a time of need. I think that's why his compassion for them was so strong. He wasn't angry or even disappointed, he just knew that the world around them was crashing down and he wanted to keep them both safe.)

Okay so like this is my list, i didn't give specific names to the other jedi/padawans that knew simply because there were probably a lot that didn't say anything based on what they witnessed. The one in the Kenobi series was definitely one of them, I think I signaled that pretty well tho lol

[lux-et-astra]

analysis of what each sink scene represents - session six

once again thank you tash for the reams of analysis material!!!! spoilers (obviously) under the cut

for reference, i'm calling fire/dry girl/narrator kate, and her victim/best friend birdie

finally the big one!! there aren't really "scenes" as such here so i'll just go in order of what happens

first of all: "Don’t worry! I’ll be here, the whole time." from the narrator. yes girlie you WILL be!! because you're kate!! we get the sinking realisation of that here in just a moment: "People don’t… they just don’t –" // "Properly understand." the narrator is finishing kate's sentences!! and then eventually they talk at the same time ("Three… two… one… go.") and we finally see that kate and the narrator are one and the same! now we get the running from birdie - although this time it's running out of fear, not because kate is coming to get her (she's not scared of kate yet), but because her dreams are catching up. the first dream snippet we see is sonic the hog! the relevance of the forest is finally underlined ("For the fun run, everyone was!") as we see that yes. she should be running. then we get another running/forest adjacent scene in balanced for eggs which gives us a little more context. we got the suggestion in balanced for eggs the first time that kate was the chick who got boiled, just a random chance of nature, but here we get some extra information ("When people are born all boiled up, all hot, or just different, you know, it’s not your fault, but if you don’t stay away, well –") and we can see textually how much this man is warning birdie to stay away from kate. the narrator's insistence that birdie move past this insistence ("Run!") is followed by the grudging defeat of the man ("If you don’t stay away, whatever happens, that's – that’s up to you!"). we can see that the narrator does not want what's best for birdie - it's clearly not a good decision to try and force this remembrance, and birdie's actions both now and at the time were against all advice but kate's. this early section provides us with context for some of the earlier dreams and crucially contextualises this flight through the forest as a fight against birdie's dreams - who are just trying to warn her. birdie is, right now, on kate's side, against her own subconscious, a betrayal as she abandons those figures who want what's best for her: who, right now, are just figments of her subconscious, but we'll see later that she also abandons real-life figures who wanted what was best for her like her parents.

next up we get the sand lady presenting a perspective after the camping trip incident, making this chronology absolutely wild ("Lovely stuff, no one needs to call the police. Not until it becomes clear that someone’s gone missing. Uh oh, where’s she gone? Uh oh! Where’d you last see her? Cause they’re gonna start asking lots of questions, aren’t they?") and we can see the beginnings of blame as a theme for birdie. evidently there would have been lots of questions after the incident and we can see more than anything how birdie blames herself ("They’re going to ask you – they’re going to ask you if you could have done anything to stop it.") - "could you have done anything to stop it" is more likely something birdie asked herself than anything an outsider would have asked, except perhaps kate's family. the fact that her subconscious is demanding this suggests that birdie still feels guilt over the incident, even though she can't yet remember it clearly

we move on to birdie's mother giving us some more details about kate! ("Sweetheart, just… these little swimming trips, and camping trips, and little… obviously it’s lovely that you’ve – that you’ve got a friend.") this suggests that sherbet and it needs to dig/dip day are pretty close to the truth, and solidifies this current experience as a camping trip! ("I don’t want you to just be… doing things because… other girls have told you to do it.") birdie's mother expressed some of these feelings in the earlier scene ("all the girls wanna be smooth girls now…") but here we get it pretty clearly that she feels that birdie is being pushed into things by kate. the relationship between the two girls is evidently fairly toxic as we've already pretty much established but this outside perspective gives a less-biased view, showing how concerning kate's behaviour can be! ("It’s nice she gets out, obviously boring for her, just… just with her grandma and grandad, but… people say things, darling.") we get a little more evidence of kate's turbulent homelife - as much as grandparents can provide a loving and stable home, it does suggest perhaps some kind of upheaval in kate's living situation/problem with her parents, which could have led to some of her problems, especially if there were some kind of fire... ("What happened in the swimming pool, it’s just… it’s nice you like her, but she’s… she’s not quite right, is she love?") there's a suggestion here that birdie is a little naïve? at least that she's brushing past things kate has done or willfully ignoring them. which i think is very interesting as a measure of their relationship because it's very natural for birdie to try and defend her friend and that kind of cognitive dissonance is definitely not out of the question - i think it's possible that birdie is being a bit naïve but considering that these girls seem to have been friends since childhood, i don't think it's fair to criticise birdie for not seeing danger in her closest friend - while it's true that she probably should have listened to her mother with regards to kate's behaviour, i don't find any fault in birdie for just sticking with her friend. ("It’s best not to annoy her. Alright love? It’s best not to annoy her.") this final bit from birdie's mother evokes the end of children in there ("All things considered, best not to annoy him.") and pretty much solidifies the impression of kate as potentially dangerous, that there could be negative consequences for birdie if she doesn't go along with kate, which i think furthers the point that birdie's not to blame! the woods are a very isolated place, and the fact that the camping trip incident only hurt kate and birdie is in fact a lot better than it could have been - had birdie annoyed kate, had she rejected her earlier, kate could well have wanted to take revenge, and given that birdie lives with her mother, that could have had far more casualties than just kate and birdie. so i think as much as birdie should have probably got out earlier before kate became as hell-bent on her desire for self-immolation (and taking birdie with her), i do think she did everything right for the situation she was in.

after the mother's section we get a little bit which feels very police-y! "Excuse me. Very important you tell us the truth, okay? This is for her sake as much as anyone else." i suspect that birdie didn't end up telling people the truth - on one hand, i highly suspect she repressed a lot of her memories of the camping trip incident, and on the other, the fact that birdie believed kate to be dead somewhat suggests that kate "escaped" on her own terms, which would imply that police/paramedics either didn't look for her or didn't find her - presumably it should have been easy to find her if birdie had given police all the details of the camping trip. after this we get "Little games, her little stories." // "At this point, there is a fire." the framing of this as a game and a story as well as the reference to the earlier scene ("Peter sat back and said what he always said.") suggests an inescapable nature to this! also it feels like very childish language which is a little sad, actually. they're still so young! making up silly stories and playing games! although kate's silly stories she has decided to make real so... less fun.

we then get a direct follow up to that with all four "I've got a story"s which i find fantastic. it wasn't until transcribing that this moment really hit me and i frantically went back checking that all the monologues did really start with "I've got a story"! it made me crazy! it ties everything back in to the birdman game and to kate's way of looking at the world which shows how insidiously kate's worldview has crept into birdie's world... crazy stuff. all the other stories are clearly building up to the most important story which, as we're about to hear, is kate's. this scene hits hardest because it's very clear that it's not a dream, it's a memory. whereas every other scene has some kind of dreamlike logic (real laser gun action being the one that comes to mind) we finally get a shot of reality - although it feels very dreamlike because we're seeing through kate's lens! i find this beginning bit a little sad ("You just have to listen to the story. To the end, that’s all. Okay? And then it’s finished. And we go back.") because "go back" for KATE means go back to the tent where they will die in a fire together whereas i'm quite sure birdie is more likely to take it as go back home. but it's not the end is it. i haven't mentioned much of the sound effects in the sink but i think the really key thing in this scene is [SFX: FLICKING LIGHTER]. you can hear it throughout kate's story!! i didn't even notice until listening to it about a million times for transcription purposes but it's there - and it's so soft and in the background yet so present, which i think really speaks to kate's pyromania. it informs everything she does and yet it's subtle enough to go unnoticed by most people. i don't think that kate's speech needs a massive amount of analysis. i think it's a pretty logical culmination of everything we've seen. i think it's interesting that it juxtaposes language about building a house and a life together ("And they built a house, a dry house, and they built it out of straw.") which is very domestic and intimate with the suggestion of burning it all down ("And they knew all they needed to do to be dry, and warm, forever was just to huff, and puff, and burn the house down.") which is very very violent. i think kate really contrasts those ideas in her head, that houses have to burn, that the life you build together has to go up in flames. i think it probably speaks to a previous incident. another interesting thing about her speech is that she consistently includes birdie in her worldview as thinking the same as her ("Once, there were two people who… met each other in the world, and they knew that the world was all wet. They could see it was, it was dripping cold, all of it, and that all their clothes and bodies were heavy and their sleeves dragged along the road dripping off all the wetness everywhere they went and they were the only ones who could f– feel it.") she very much implies that she thinks birdie thinks the same as her. which i think we can gather is not necessarily true! but it possibly speaks to kate's actions being slightly less out of the blue - she genuinely thinks that birdie also wants this. which is very sweet but also deluded. kate also uses very deterministic language ("They wanted to, but that’s not what happens, in the story.") in fact the whole framing of this as a story really suggests that it's set in stone and immutable, which heads off any kind of possible argument really - of course they have to do it, it's Just What Happens. i think that frame of mind is what kate's using as a crutch, she's not thinking critically about what she's doing, it just has to happen this way, so it's fine and permissible. and then when birdie starts to rebel, kate references the time they first met ("Wait, it’s not – it’s not finished, wait. Just – let’s – let’s put some music on. You have your headphones? C’mon. One for you, one for me.") to get her back on side. they're sharing! they're together! the music is to remind birdie of how long they've been friends, of how much they've shared together.

"And they knew that the wet ones would look for them, but they were together, and they knew that sometimes, it’s better when people don’t come back." - i think kate says this entirely for birdie's benefit. it doesn't really seem like kate has relations who would worry about her, but birdie's parents evidently still want the best for her, so this is very much to assure birdie that kate is all she needs. which is worryingly codependent and also how domestic abusers distance their partners from their support circles! kate goes on ("We can only finish the game if you listen to the end, so you have to stop.") to tell birdie that she has to listen to finish their game. i think birdie has realised by now what kate is doing and this is kate's last chance to get her on side, which i don't think she manages! the framing of "finishing the game" is what's most important to kate, because she sees life as a series of games and stories, and she sees her friendship with birdie as an extended game of birdman. but for birdie, the situation is dangerously real and the framing of "ending the game" means nothing to her. however the fact that birdie runs away means that she doesn't listen to the end, so they can't finish the game!!!! which has terrible consequences for birdie, because kate can't leave a game unfinished. i think kate's pleas for birdie to come back are really sad ("Wait, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. Just stay! Stay here! Stay here! No, wait – lie down, come back! It’ll be so much better if we don’t come back! Wait! Don’t leave me!") because they go from "it'll be so much better if we don't come back", i.e. look how much it'll benefit you, to "don't leave me", which shows what kate's really concerned about. she doesn't want to be alone. for someone with such an all-consuming friendship, it's probably terrifying for kate to suddenly have to consider existing without birdie, which leads her to taking bad decisions. like:

[SFX: SPLASH] - running in blind terror and falling into a lake. i think this causes kate to spiral and ultimately to make a very bad decision. her trigger (being wet) sets her off entirely and she loses all critical thinking.

we leave kate behind, just like birdie does, mad with grief and fear and pyromania, and return to birdie, who finds help in john and jim!! who are finally recontextualised as her "rescuers" in a sense. we get the line that the narrator has been putting off - "Oh – fire!" - and we get a key question from john: "Was there anyone else, love? Is there anyone else in there?" birdie does not reply, that we can tell. she's finally out. but the game's not finished.

"And the last little bird to get scared is scared so much it isn’t a bird anymore. All its feathers get hot and dry and they’re not feathers anymore, they’re just straw. And its eyes are small little buttons. And it all begins again. I knew I’d find you in the end." kate's scare is finally complete, however many years later. birdie's not a bird anymore! we finally get the full-on reveal of kate & the narrator being the same person, with them speaking over each other ("I found you, in the end.", "Stretch them out, all the straw.") and the horrifying reveal that every time the narrator has been telling birdie to stretch her arms, she has meant it in a scarecrow sense. freaky! as an ending, this very much implies that birdie is going to start scaring people the same as kate ("There are new little birds to find. And when we catch them… We get to scare them.") which seems to imply that birdie is now somehow under kate's thrall? it's quite an open-ended ending, considering we don't hear specifically from birdie throughout this entire session! what actually happens to her is left up to us! personally, i think if kate had the latest in nano-mesh sleep technology, she could do anything she wanted to birdie's mind. maybe she's locked in an eternal dream - after all, the important ones come back.

thank you for reading!!! i really hope you've enjoyed all my silly little thoughts about the sink and that they've helped a little in understanding what the hell's going on!!! feel free to chat to me with thoughts or ideas, i'm always down to discuss!!!

[lakelyasleep]

I was playing around with warrior cats AUs earlier and an interesting thought came up. What if Fireheart was a WindClan cat and a Med cat? (And had amnesia, for funsies) Here are some jumbled ideas in (mostly) chronological order.

Rusty leaves the two-leg place at four moons, meeting Tigerclaw. As you expect this doesn't end well. He barely gets away alive, passing out inside WindClan's border.

It's Deadfoot that finds him, acting as his main parental figure next to Barkface.

When he wakes up he doesn't know who he is or what happened. Though because he smelt like ThunderClan, Tallstar could guess.

Because of Tigerclaw, he is very scarred, the most notable one on his left side goes from his shoulder to his flank.

He was five moons when ShadowClan chased WindClan from their home. He already wanted to become a med cat and helped Barkface where he was allowed.

Firepaw gets far more warrior training than the average med cat would due to the exile. This becomes a part of WindClan culture later on.

He has a very strong connection to StarClan in this AU! While they meant for him to be a ThunderClan warrior they aren't particularly disappointed with what he chose.

Firepaw keeps having dreams of the same two cats, one a tortoiseshell tom with a red tail, one a brown tiger-like tabby with sharp claws. The tabby looks familiar but he has no idea where he'd met the cat.

We're gonna move from WindClan for now, let's check in on ThunderClan, shall we?

Spottedleaf still gets the "Fire will save our clan" prophecy, but doesn't understand it until much later.

Tigerclaw becomes deputy after he kills Redtail, but is more patient than he is in canon.

Ravenpaw doesn't leave ThunderClan because he never saw Tigerclaw kill Redtail, though he is still scared of Tigerclaw. He gets the name Ravenflight for his flighty personality. Raven x Barley is still a thing, don't worry!

Ravenpaw is the one who helps Yellowfang and is punished because he feeds her. Ravenpaw acts in the place of Firepaw for the most part.

Sandpaw stays roughly the same, her arc does not change much until later.

While Spottedleaf isn't killed by Clawface the kits are still kitnapped, and Yellowfang is still blamed. They thought she was a spy or something.

Graypaw and Ravenpaw go looking for her and find out the truth. Things go the way they did in canon. Brokenstar and his followers are chased out. After the battle, they're given their warrior names and do their vigil.

Graystripe and Ravenflight are the ones sent to find WindClan. This is how our favourite trio meet.

They actually spot Firepaw hunting and run up to him, not expecting him to turn and swipe at them. It takes Deadfoot calling out to Firepaw to make him back off.

They take a break when they meet Barley, who offers to let them stay the night in the barn. He and Ravenflight talk for hours.

When Graystripe gets Firepaw to relax, he asks about Firepaw's scars. Firepaw shakes his head and says he doesn't remember how he got them. He doesn't remember anything from before WindClan found him.

The party of cats leave, deciding to cut through RiverClan territory. They still fight with that RiverClan patrol but no one dies, luckily.

Ravenflight and Graystripe go home, both their minds stuck on different cats.

And we're gonna stop there, for now, I'll probably rb with more ideas later. My brain is already rotting with this AU so I'll def be coming back to it!

[pagegirlintraining]

helloo

i have been re-reading your sex-shop au (it's really good) you co-wrote with sb else and i have been wondering. in the sequel when stuff gets more explicit, how is it to write that? do you plan intimate scenes a lot or more than other scenes. what is important? or are they more spontaneous? is it a big challenge to write them together with sb else and do you read each others parts to give feedback? what kind of feedback?

haha that's quite a few questions but i'm curious :)

hi there anon :)

First of all thank you, that’s so sweet and I’m glad it’s holding up on the re-read too 🫶🏼

Now as for your questions, I’ll try going through them one by one. Just a warning, this might get a bit long (when asked about writing, I’ll always have a hard time shutting up again 😅).

Also disclaimer, I’m obviously not some sort of expert on this topic. This will only be an answer based on my personal experience.

1) do I plan explicit scenes more than others? - Not usually. In fact, the only real planning I do for them in any of my other fics is whether they’re gonna happen and where in the plot. The specifics are being decided as I write.

Obviously, with sex shop it was a bit different because we needed a different toy/gimmick to be included in each chapter. We actually made a list of six things we wanted to include beforehand, then each claimed the ones we felt like writing ourselves (or in my case, handed off the one I didn’t feel like writing). Beyond that, though, it was write as I went again.

2)what’s important in an intimate scene? - Emotions. I could read the most detailed description of a sexual act and feel nothing if it doesn’t include how the characters feel. That starts with what they perceive, what they hear, see, smell, feel etc. (think moans and such, the light catching in someone’s hair/eyes/on their skin, do they smell freshly showered and like a comfy hug or are they still sweaty from a run, the temperature or strength of someone’s touch and so on and so forth) and moves on to how the things they perceive make them feel in this moment. Most of the time, that second part is in some way amplified or modified by the fact that they’re experiencing it with this specific person, which is my personal favorite part about intimate scenes.

I’m sure there’s also plenty of people who lean more toward description heavy stuff, which is more than fine. It’s just not what I’m trying to do with my own writing.

3) are they more spontaneous? - kinda answered that one already but I’ll add that I’ve never been able to write out of chronological order, so every intimate scene is very much written with the previous parts of the story in mind. It’s spontaneous in what the specific sexual acts are, but I always know ahead of time what I want the characters to feel/think about/realize during them.

4) is it a challenge to write explicit scenes with someone else? - I guess it depends on the person, but in this case, not at all. I think it’s important though to discuss ahead of time if one or both parties are uncomfortable with writing or reading certain things.

Also, writing together mostly means we write different parts of the same story, hence we each write our own explicit stuff, then make sure both parts fit well together. So the real challenge is daring to show somebody else your vision and hoping they agree with it.

5) do we read each other’s parts to give feedback, and if so, what kind of feedback? - YES. That’s the best part of writing together imo, is hyping each other up but also getting to give and receive the kind of input that can make a story even better. To be fair, my feedback to most of @the-amber-fox’s smut is a pretty unhelpful combination of 🫠 and 🔥, but we make do 😂 from time to time we’ll suggest adding something, mostly if the other person’s a bit stuck. But yeah, most of it is just getting to read it ahead of everyone else and being happy about that 😁

I hope I could answer some of your questions in a helpful way 💜 Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think about this so explicitly (pun not intended). I’ve never done that before so that was fun :)

[abitohoney]

All I Want for Christmas Is You

Chapter 3 of 6 - Hand Me the Nutmeg AO3 link

CH1 || CH2 || CH3 || CH4 || CH5 || CH6

Sevika x female reader

Rating: Explicit, MDNI, 18+, NSFW

Tags: Sevika/Reader, AU - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Sex, Cunnilingus, Teasing, Humor, Vaginal Fingering, Orgasm Delay (nothing extreme), Begging, Strap-Ons, Face-Sitting, Corny & Cheesy Dialogue, kinda sappy

Word Count: 5.7k

Fic Summary: It’s your first year spending the holidays with Sevika, and though the two of you couldn’t be any different in your level of holiday spirit or view of the traditions that come with it, your shared adoration (and sexual attraction) for each other is more than enough to get both of you through it together.

A collection of little holiday-inspired scenes, technically chronological, but really could be read in any order or as stand-alone oneshots. Includes a nice blend of sugar (fluff) and spice (smut).

Chapter Summary: Dragging Sevika to her boss's holiday party starts just as you expected. She's grumpy, uninterested, and simply all around no fun. Thankfully you find the perfect activity to turn that frown upside down. (Cum and get yer smut!)

AN: Another fic already complete on AO3 that I'm bringing to Tumblr. Guess it's Xmas in April. 🤷‍♀️

“We’re gonna be late!” you call out from the bathroom after you finish applying some bright red lipstick. When Sevika doesn’t reply, you poke your head out of the door into your bedroom.

Sevika stands in front of a mirror over a small dresser, struggling to adjust the holiday sweater you bought her. “This is so fucking stupid,” she grumbles when you step up behind her. Her stormy gray eyes are focused on the hem of the sweater as she attempts- and fails- to tug it down over the top of her pants. Too busy with that battle, she doesn’t notice the reflection of your smile, but she does notice your poorly stifled giggles. “Why is this so damn short?” she gripes.

“So I can see those gorgeous abs of yours, duh,” you reply as you graze over the skin of said abs with the tips of your fingers. Her stomach quakes, muscles flexing beneath your touch. It’s the only place she’s ticklish, and though she’d never let you really go at it, you still manage to sneak in the occasional light tease. “Besides, it's really no shorter than your typical top,” you point out and take your hands away before she can grab them.

“My typical top is not an ugly ass sweater.” Her narrowed eyes rise to your face reflected in the mirror as you move to stand beside her. The moment she catches your genuine smile, she releases an exaggerated sigh and her scowl fades into something softer. Though she may never say it in such words, she truly adores your smile.

“We look cute together,” you say, taking in the sight of your matching ugly sweaters. Hers is a garish bright green with a black outline of the Grinch and- appropriately- the words ‘The Grinch’. It fits snug, hugging her soft curves and hard muscles, making an otherwise ugly sweater look rather tempting. You had removed the sleeve of the left arm to allow her to slip it over her mech arm without risk of snagging. Your sweater is a bright red with a white outline of a Santa hat and the words ‘Mrs. Claus, but sleeping with the Grinch’. It's equally snug, but reaches the waist of your knee length, white, pleated skirt.

“ You look… cute ," she replies, left eye twitching as she forces out that last word. "Don’t use that term in reference to me.”

“Oh! Almost forgot. I have something else that will make us even cuter!” you exclaim, ignoring her demand entirely. Opening one of the dresser drawers, you pull out a Santa hat, reindeer antlers and a little red Rudolph nose. You put the Santa hat on your head, then turn your attention to Sevika as you grab the antlers.

“Babe, no,” Sevika sighs as you reach up to slip the antlers on her head, but she makes no motion to stop you.

Checking her appearance in the reflection, you can barely contain the utter glee the sight induces. “Oh. My. God. Sevika, you are adorable!” you squeal. Even as she scowls at you in the mirror, it doesn’t take away from just how cute she looks. If anything, it enhances it. She’s your big, cute, Grinch. “Here! Put the nose on!” You insist and hold it out for her. When all she does is narrow her eyes at your reflection, you push out your bottom lip and give her your sweetest doe eyes. “Please. Everyone else is going to be dressed up!”

"I agreed to wear this dumb sweater. Even let you put these ridiculous ears-"

"Antlers," you correct her with a smile.

"Whatever. Don't act like I'm not dressing up for you," she grumbles.

She really has allowed you to push her boundaries. More and more over time, really. She clearly is trying hard to please you, and you realize you need to be more appreciative of all the adjustments she's made just for you.

"Okay. You're right," you relent with a deflated sigh. "Thank you," you add with a soft smile. Stretching up on your tiptoes, you press a chaste kiss to her cheek, leaving a bright red imprint against her rich, brown skin. That earns you a sweet, crooked grin from her as she turns to face you.

Sevika slips her hands under the back of your sweater, pulling you against her warm, hard body as she bends down to press her plush lips to yours.

You slide your hands up between your bodies, palms smoothing over muscled abs and curved breasts until they rest against her shoulders. Clinging to her, you return the kiss in earnest.

She tilts her head to deepen the kiss, her tongue tracing along your lips. When you eagerly part them, she wastes no time delving in.

Your mouth fills with a heady burst of flavor- fine cigars and whiskey. It's something that even after all the time you've spent with her, will always leave you with a heady sensation. A mix of feeling high as a kite, warm to the core, and undeniably aroused.

Realizing the two of you are going to be late to Silco's party- not to mention how badly you need the oxygen she's unknowingly denied you- you finally pull away. Both of you gaze at one another through hooded eyes, longing to keep taking that kiss wherever it was headed.

"We need to go," you whisper breathlessly. "We're gonna be late."

She stares down at you- your lipstick smeared lips- for a moment longer before finally relenting. "Alright. Gotta clean the mess you made first."

"Hey, you made a mess too, you know," you reply with a playful smile. When she raises an inquisitive brow, you in turn raise yours. Certainly she can catch onto your little innuendo without you needing to explain. And that she does.

Her now red stained lips curl into a knowing smirk. "If you weren't so insistent on being there on time , I'd offer to clean that up for you," she purrs while slipping her flesh hand beneath your skirt to tease over your noticeably damp underwear.

You try to step back, away from her wandering fingers, but the metal hand at your back holds you firmly in place. "Please don't tempt me," you whine.

Again, she chews over your request, but ceases her teasing while she does. Taking in the sight of your pleading eyes, she relents once more. She wipes her damp finger along the waistband of your underwear and steps away, all while keeping that damn sexy smirk in place.

The two of you enter the bathroom. You clean away your smudged lipstick and reapply a fresh coat, while she removes the marks you left on her cheek and mouth.

By the time you and Sevika arrive outside Silco's apartment, you can barely contain your excitement. The box of cookies the two of you had baked and decorated bounces in your hands as you rock back and forth on your heels. You've met a couple of Sevika's coworkers, but never her boss.

Sevika gives you the side eye before pressing the buzzer.

The door opens, revealing a fairly tall- though not as tall as Sevika- and lanky man. Silco. You'd heard his eyes were something to behold, and boy was that the truth. His left eye, set within a wave of scars, is a fiery iris set within a black abyss. His right eye- still healthy and untouched by the scarring, is a pleasant teal color, but it's just as unnerving in its cool, calculating demeanor.

"Ah, Sevika. How nice of you…" his drawl trails off for a moment when he takes notice of her reindeer antlers. "... How nice of you to join us." He sounds terribly unamused and you're not sure if that's just part of his personality or if he has some issue with Sevika. His good eye drops to your face. "And I see you've brought a… friend ."

Not so sure you like the way he called you her ‘friend’, you ignore the warning jabs of Sevika's metal fingers against your back. "Girlfriend, actually," you tell him matter-of-factly.

His unscarred brow raises and you can hear Sevika's frustrated sigh beside you. "I see," he replies without an ounce of care in his tone. "Please, come in." He steps back and off to the side to allow you both to enter.

Sevika strides in while you follow close behind her. You flash Silco a friendly smile as you hand him the box of cookies. "Cookies. For the potluck," you explain, still smiling.

His otherwise straight lined lips twitch, which you assume is his attempt to return the friendly gesture.

No wonder Sevika is his right hand. Just a couple of crabby, emotionally constipated-

Your thoughts are interrupted as Sevika bends down to hiss against your ear. "I thought you said everyone would be dressed up!"

Scanning the room, you observe the two of you are- in fact- the only ones wearing silly festive attire. Everyone else is dressed in nice, fancy holiday clothing. Shrugging your shoulders, you whisper out of the side of your mouth, "But we're the cutest ones here."

"You owe me for this," she threatens.

"Yes, yes. You can punish me later," you reply. Before she can get another word in, you catch sight of Ran and Dustin- the only two guests you know- and immediately gravitate towards them.

"Hi Ran," you say cheerfully when you come to stand beside them at one of the tables lined with food and drinks.

Ran, midst listening to Dustin ramble about Janna knows what, turns to you. Ignoring him entirely, their dark lips slip into a sly smile. “Hey, pretty girl,” they greet you, voice low and smooth.

From your periphery you see Sevika step up beside you, just in time to hear Ran’s subtle flirting, but she says nothing. You’ve noticed that over your time being Sevika’s girl, that her protectiveness over you seemed to allow Ran as the only exception. The two of them would usually cast subtle, knowing glances at one another. A silent agreement, perhaps. It was as if they had some sort of history. Something beyond just coworkers or friends.

You smile coyly at Ran and your cheeks blush at the compliment. Ran is undeniably attractive. Dark, quiet, mysterious and alluring. Not that you’d ever act on that attraction. At least not without Sevika’s permission.

Ran nods in greeting to Sevika, who in turn does the same. Then Ran’s dark eyes roam over Sevika’s sweater and up to her antlers, their smile growing in unabashed amusement. They turn back to you, taking note of the matching sweater.

“Don’t. Say. Anything.” Sevika bites out, tone low and threatening.

Still admiring your outfit, Ran leans towards you to whisper, “Cute.”

Sevika scoffs, clearly having heard the comment, and turns to observe the room in an effort to ignore you two.

“Thanks!” you reply, all smiles and proud of yourself.

Silco strolls up at your other side to place your box of cookies down on the table before turning to answer the door when the buzzer sounds again.

Dustin, who seems to have preoccupied himself with something in his nose- gross- immediately reaches for one of the cookies. Apparently Sevika’s sanitary standards are higher than her coworkers’. And wouldn’t you know it, the first thing Dustin does is drag his nasty ass tongue over the entire length of the gingerbread man in his hand, but not without first locking eyes with you. He smiles, sickly- perversely- and it makes you grimace and turn away to face Sevika. Apparently her eating etiquette is also better than her coworkers’.

“I’m thirsty,” you tell her, “Let’s get something to drink.” She says nothing, but follows you as you turn to make your way down to the other end of the table. You flash Ran one last smile over your shoulder and they return it with their own playful smirk and wave of their metal fingers.

“What the hell is this?” Sevika asks, her face scrunching in disgust as you start to ladle out two servings of eggnog.

You hand her a cup and grin as she sniffs it suspiciously. “It’s called eggnog. It’s a typical Holiday drink. You’ve seriously never had any?” Taking a sip, you watch as she takes her own, very cautious, sip. The grimace she makes as she immediately pulls it away from her mouth has you giggling out loud.

“This is disgusting,” she grunts and sets the cup on the table.

“It’s an acquired taste,” you explain.

Sevika says nothing, instead reaching into the pouch at her side to remove a fairly large flask.

“What are you doing?” you ask, though it’s pretty obvious she’s spiking her own drink.

“There’s no way I’m making it through tonight without this,” she grumbles as she pours a rather hefty amount into her cup. “Want some?” she asks.

Honestly, you could use a drink yourself seeing as you’ll likely be subject to rather unsanitary acts most of the night. “Sure,” you reply and hold your cup out. You notice she only gives you about half as much as she poured herself. And it’s a good thing too, because as you take a drink, you nearly sputter at how strong it is. “Damn, what is this?”

“Rum. Top shelf,” she replies, lips curling up into a smirk at your inability to handle anything remotely strong. She takes a considerable gulp, her shoulders slumping almost immediately. Perhaps there’s still hope for her to enjoy herself tonight.

You spend most of the night hanging around Sevika in companionable silence. You had made several attempts to chat with Ran- or rather at Ran- as they mostly just listened. Unfortunately, Dustin was entirely too weird and gross for your liking, so those conversations were quite brief.

Sevika made zero attempt to talk with anyone besides an occasional short, private conversation with Silco. Probably talking shop. She did, however, let you go on an occasional rant to her about something. She would just watch you with that tiny smirk on her face, apparently amused by how passionate you got about some subjects. Unbeknownst to you, those rants became more and more nonsensical and long winded the more spiked eggnog you drank. Of course she remained cool, calm and unaffected despite drinking far more than you, at least if strictly referencing alcohol content. You had certainly drunk more than your fair share of eggnog.

“I need to use the restroom,” you whisper to Sevika when that feeling hits you without warning.

She merely grunts from where she leans against the wall, but her eyes remain protectively on you as you walk away.

After finishing your business and checking on your appearance, you step out of the bathroom a bit disoriented. Yeah, you definitely had a bit too much to drink. You glance through the crowd of people for Sevika. Considering how damn massive she is, it really shouldn’t be that hard to find her, but she’s not where you last left her. Sighing, you make your way through the mass of people as discreetly as you can until you see Sevika leaning against a wall in a dark corner of the room- basically as far away from people as possible.

As you step up to her, she’s just finishing a glass of eggnog, your glass you note by how she is holding an empty glass in her other hand.

“Thankss for holding my drink,” you state sarcastically, not realizing the slight slur your voice has taken on.

“Fucking need more than this to make it through this shit fest,” she grumbles, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth. Her eyes flit to your flush face and silly, lopsided smile. “Looks like you’ve had enough anyway, sweetheart.”

Taking both empty glasses from her, you set them on a small table along the wall. Glancing up at her grumpy expression, you can’t help but smile at how adorable she looks with her face all scrunched up and pouty. Like a huge, gorgeous, petulant child… with an undersized sweater and reindeer antlers.

“It’s not that bad. I mean nobody is really bothering us and there’s plenty of alcohol,” you point out, this time concentrating on your speech and keeping that slur at bay. Or at least you think.

Her narrowed eyes flit to your face before dropping to her sweater.

“It is that bad. This hideous fucking sweater is hot and itchy as hell,” she gripes, scratching at her neck with her metal fingers. Your eyes travel over how snug the wool sweater fits to her sculpted body. Even with such a gaudy, ugly sweater that is clearly at least two sizes too small for her, she looks hot as hell. Her bulging bicep stretches the fabric so tight you can see traces of her beautiful dark skin poking through. And it’s no coincidence that it’s as short as it is, revealing that tantalizing strip of skin. You bought that sweater knowing damn well how it would look on her, and you regret nothing.

“You’re so cute in it though!!” you coo, giving her bicep a playful little poke. Something catches your eye just above her head and you tilt your head back to glance up.

“I told you; do NOT call me cu-”

“Sevika! Look!” you exclaim, cutting her off when you realize there are several sprigs of mistletoe just above your heads. “Mistletoe!”

Sevika glances up to the ceiling, grimacing at the plant before dropping her attention back to your beaming face. “So what?”

Brows furrowed in confusion, you can’t possibly believe she doesn’t know the significance. “Do you not know what that means?” you ask incredulously. Taking her less than amused expression as a no, you explain, “You have to kiss me. It’s bad luck to be caught under the mistletoe and refuse a kiss.” You smile up at her coyly, taking a step closer while she simply raises a brow.

“That’s complete bullshit.”

“Oh c’mon Sev,” you reply playfully, not about to let her get out of this. Slipping the palms of your hands up over her chest and shoulders, you stand up on your toes to bring your face closer to hers. “You’re not going to deny me a kiss are you?” Her eyes drop to your red painted lips as you slowly drag your tongue across them. Watching her scowl devolve into an amused little smirk, you step even closer, pressing one of your legs between her thighs and intentionally rubbing against her. That does the trick.

Sevika’s hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer as she dips her head, cocking it to the side and capturing your lips with her own. The kiss starts innocently enough. It’s soft, gentle, sweet, simply pressing her lips to yours. However, as you grind against her, that quickly changes. She releases a low, rumbly sound akin to that of a growl. She catches your bottom lip between her teeth and tugs. When your mouth falls open to release a soft groan, she immediately takes the opportunity to release your lip and slip her tongue inside. Her teeth clack against yours with how fervently she kisses you.

Your hands slip into the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging hard as you try to match her fervor. The growl she releases against your mouth becomes a moan when you press your thigh against just the right spot between her legs.

She breaks the kiss and both of you are left panting. “Bathroom,” she grunts, digging her nails into your waist to drive home just how serious she is.

“Pantry,” you reply through heavy breaths.

Sevika arches a brow as your hands slide down to her pants. Hooking your fingers through the belt loops, you tug her along as you step backwards.

“Nobody will go in there,” you explain as you back into the small door adjacent to the kitchen. Her lips curl into a smirk, one hand leaving your waist to turn the door handle so the two of you can slip inside. She flips on the light switch. A dingy, low yellow light floods the rather small pantry. She kicks the door shut behind her before returning her hand to your waist. 

The roles suddenly reverse and you’re no longer pulling her along. Instead, she’s quickly pushing you backwards as she captures your mouth again in another heated kiss.

Your backside slams into a series of shelves along the back wall, knocking over several cans that subsequently roll off and crash to the floor. Neither of you are bothered by it. You’re both too preoccupied with trying to shove your tongues down each other’s throats.

Her hands run wildly over your body, trying to touch every inch of skin she can reach. One hand slips up behind your head to grab a fistful of hair, tugging your head back to expose your neck. She runs her mouth along your jaw, sucking, biting and marking your skin all the way down and over your neck.

Uncaring that someone could- at any moment- walk by and easily hear, you release a loud moan when she presses her thigh between yours. Your hands slip into her hair and pull her head closer as she ravishes your skin.

Her other hand snakes under the front of your sweater to grab a handful of one of your breasts. She pinches and rolls your nipple through the thin fabric of your bra, pulling a gasp from your open mouth.

You’re feeling delightfully high with arousal, and the alcohol thrumming through your bloodstream is only serving to heighten it. Unfortunately it also seems to be raising the temperature in the room, as you both start to squirm in your wool sweaters.

“This fucking sweater,” Sevika curses under her breath and pulls away from you to rip said sweater off before discarding it somewhere over her shoulder. Her antlers are knocked off in the process, but neither of you take notice. “Get this off,” she grunts and grabs at the hem of your sweater. She hardly gives you a moment to push off the shelves before she’s practically tearing it off your body and tossing it to the side. Your Santa hat suffers the same fate as her antlers.

With both of you free of the uncomfortable clothing, neither of you waste any time getting your hands back on each other. You slide your hands up her toned abs, reveling in how they tighten beneath your touch. Traveling higher, you take each of her warm, heavy breasts into your hands and squeeze.

She doesn’t give you long to play with them though, as she quickly pulls one of the cups of your bra down and grabs your breast. Bending down, she wraps her lips around the supple flesh and sucks, leaving a trail of love bites. Her metal hand wraps around the other breast to knead it between her fingers.

You can feel her teeth graze down the curve of your breast before clamping down on the hardened peak. “Sevika!” you squeal and your hands grasp at her hair again. The deep, throaty chuckle she releases against your skin sends shivers down your spine. You pull her face closer as her wet tongue circles your areola before flicking your nipple, withdrawing another startled sound from your throat.

When she finally moves her mouth from your breast in favor of nibbling on one of your earlobes, you’re too distracted to notice the hand slipping beneath your skirt.

“I’m going to fuck you real good, babygirl. Think you can be quiet for me?” she rasps against your ear.

Your skin prickles with goosebumps and your body shudders. “I- oh- shit,” you moan out when you feel the fingers of her flesh hand drift up along the insides of your thighs.

“That’s not an answer,” she teases, her fingers stopping just below the apex of your thighs.

“Sev- please,” you whine, desperate for her touch. Even with your sweater discarded, the room feels unbearably hot and it’s only getting worse the more excited she gets you. “I- I’ll try. Just- please touch me,” you beg.

“That’s my good girl.”

If that praise wasn’t enough to makes your knees weak, her fingers sliding against your clothed heart sure as fuck was. The moan that slips past your parted lips is muffled when her mouth captures yours once again.

Sevika wastes no time slipping her hand beneath the waistband of your underwear. She drags her middle finger between your wet folds, just barely pressing inside. Both of you groan in unison. You from the pleasure of finally feeling her where you need her, and she from the feeling of how wet you are for her. Slowly, almost tauntingly so, she slips her finger inside. She breaks the kiss, allowing you to release a shaky moan. Her finger bottoms out, buried to the last knuckle, and your legs ache with pleasure.

“Oh fuck, Sevika,” you groan when you feel her slowly pull back out, only to add a second digit. You peer up at her through half-hooded eyes and Janna, she is a sight to behold. Pupils wide and filled with lust- with hunger. Both fingers- so thick and long- sink deep inside you, and it’s downright heavenly how perfectly they fit. And it would seem she’s thinking the same thing…

“Fuck, baby-” she groans, “I’ll never get used to how good your pussy feels wrapped around my fingers. So warm. Wet. Tight .”

God, can she possibly be any sexier?

“How do you want me to fuck you?” she purrs. “Fast and hard, or soft and slow?” Before your lust-clouded brain can even process the question, she’s curling her fingers and dragging them back out at a slow pace that is both agonizing and satisfying at the same time. As if that wasn’t enough to drive you mad with want, she runs the tip of her tongue over your upper lip at the same speed.

Your eyes flutter shut and you attempt to chase after her tongue- to steal a kiss. But, not only does she pull away, she releases a deep, mocking chuckle when you whine her name in protest. You open your glazed over eyes and peer up at her… insidious smile.

Apparently yes- yes she can be sexier.

Feeling completely overwhelmed with desire, you’re certain you couldn’t handle soft and slow. You watch her raise a brow, evil little smirk never faltering. “Fast- and hard. Please,” you breathe.

That must satiate her ego. She immediately reaches prosthetic hand down to grasp one of your thighs, lifting it up and out of the way as her human fingers plunge knuckle deep.

The motion knocks the air from your lungs, leaving your resulting moan as nothing more than an airy gasp- near silent. Your hands scramble to find purchase on something, anything, as she starts thrusting wildly inside your cunt. One hand wraps tightly around her bicep, the other clutches the metal plate that covers the shoulder joint of her prosthetic.

Both of you quickly find yourself breathing raggedly. She grunts and huffs with each powerful thrust of her fingers, and you can feel the flex of her bicep beneath your hand. Despite your effort to bite back your own sounds, the moment she uses the palm of her hand to rub against your clit, all hope of remaining quiet is lost. A mixture of broken moans, whimpers and her name seep from between your parted lips.

Feeling that familiar ache starting to form, you cling desperately to Sevika’s bicep, nails digging into her skin and threatening to break through. “Sevika,” you whimper, “I’m so close.” You’re not even sure she hears you over the sound of the shelves and their contents rattling behind you as her fingers rock your body with each pleasurable drive of her fingers.

Then, suddenly- and without warning- she pulls her palm away from your throbbing clit. Your eyes shoot up to hers, wild and desperate. “Sevika! Please don’t stop!” you cry out. Barely able to stand on the one leg you have planted on the floor, you use what little strength remains to attempt to grind into her hand. The deep, threatening growl that leaves her throat has you frozen though. She’s smiling down at you, with a sick, teasing grin.

“I’m not sure you deserve to cum, babygirl. Not after you put me in that stupid ass sweater and antlers. Lied and told me everyone else would be dressed that way,” she grunts.

Her fingers continue to thrust inside you, but it’s not enough. You need that friction.

“Sevika, please!” you beg her again. You can feel the familiar prickly sensation at the corners of your eyes when they start to water. You want- need - your release so bad. “I- I’m sorry,” you whimper, voice breaking as you struggle not to sob.

The moment Sevika catches that break in your voice- the single tear that slips down your cheek- her demeanor changes instantly. That evil smirk of hers devolves into worry. She brings her head beside yours and her mouth to your ear as she shushes you. “Shh. Babygirl, it’s okay. I’ll give you what you need.” She pulls her head back again to gaze softly down at your face. Using her knee to keep your leg propped up and out of the way, she removes her metal hand to gently swipe away the tear from your cheek with the smooth back of a finger. Her lips press softly against yours as she brings the palm of her hand back to glide against your aching clit.

You’re not sure if it’s the return of that pleasurable stimulation, or the incredible tenderness Sevika is showing you, or maybe even both, but your climax strikes like lightning. It shocks every nerve- every muscle. You pull away from her mouth to gasp while she fucks you through your orgasm with determination. Time slows and stills for that brief, pleasurable moment and all you can do is cling onto her as if your life depends on it. As the last wave rocks your body, you can feel her fingers slow from a brutal pace to something more steady, gentle. Then, your body finally falls limp between her and the shelves behind you.

Sevika’s fingers still inside you and she rests her sweat slick forehead against yours. She gazes down at you with a proud little smirk as both of you struggle to catch your breath. Her chest heaves in unison with your own. Moving her knee away from your leg, she allows you to stand on both feet. However, when your knees buckle she quickly wraps her prosthetic arm around your waist to keep you upright. She chuckles deeply and runs her nose along the side of yours affectionately before peppering your cheek and neck with chaste kisses.

The door behind Sevika suddenly swings open. You’re too fucked out to even process the situation, but Sevika isn’t. She slowly turns to glance over her shoulder, fingers still knuckle deep in your cunt.

Silco stands frozen in the doorway. His good eye widens, for just a brief moment, taking in the sight before him. Sevika- his right hand woman- stands with her back to him. She’s shirtless, sweaty and covered in lipstick stains. You- his subordinate’s girlfriend - are pinned against the rows of shelves in his pantry. You too are shirtless and sweaty, but also staring blankly with eyes glazed over and mouth hanging slack. His face quickly returns to its normal I could care less expression and he turns his attention to Sevika. “Sevika, if you would be so kind as to hand me the nutmeg… seeing as you are currently blocking it,” he drawls.

Without a word, Sevika carefully removes her prosthetic from around your waist, pressing her body against yours to keep you from collapsing. Reaching up to a nearby shelf, she grabs the spice and hands it to Silco. He nods to her and turns to leave, but before he’s all the way through the doorway, he turns his head to say over his shoulder, “Glad to see you two are enjoying the… festivities .”

Once the door closes again, Sevika turns to you with a smirk. You’re just barely starting to come to, still not quite processing what just occurred. “You alright, sweetheart?” she asks quietly.

Define ‘alright’.

She definitely fucked away your tipsy feeling, but she left a new sort of high in it’s place. You nod, not trusting your ability to formulate coherent words. The moment she drags her fingers out from your overly sensitive cunt, you seem to find your voice again. “Careful!” you chastise her.

Sevika simply grins down at you as she wipes her slick coated fingers off against the inside of your thigh. “Think you can walk?” she asks, making no effort to hide the mirth in her tone.

“I-” your voice cracks, so you pause to clear your throat. “I’m not sure I can even stand,” you admit. That earns you a bigger- still haughty- smile from Sevika, and although it takes a tremendous amount of effort, you smile up at her too.

“Need me to carry you home?”

“Would you really do that?” you ask doubtfully.

“I wore a fucking ugly sweater and antlers for you. To a stupid party. What do you think?” She’s being snarky, but there’s not even the slightest hint of malice in her tone.

“Are you mad at me for that?” you ask, feeling somewhat guilty. You peer up at her through your lashes, trying to read her expression. It softens, and as she dips her head to bring her lips to yours, you know that’s her way of telling you ‘no’. You wrap your arms around her neck and return the tender kiss. If your bones didn’t already feel like liquid, you would have certainly melted against her.

You release a pleased sigh when she breaks the kiss. She rests her forehead on yours again and the two of you simply gaze at one another like idiots in love for several moments before Sevika finally speaks.

“You ready to go home?” she asks.

“For round two?” you reply with a sly smile.

Her dark lips curl into a suggestive smirk. “And three.”

next chapter >

[noelwho]

Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist!!!

Hello! I feel like I have to introduce myself ‘cause I’m barely on Tumblr. I’m still learning how to use it, I posted a couple of fanarts and they went really well, so I want to try and make myself a spot in here. My name is Noel (they/them) and I’m a big fan of Critical Role. I started watching a few months ago, with Exandria Unlimited. Once I was done I went ahead and started Campaign 3. I’m currently on episode 49 (I know, I have a lot ahead yet). I also watched the first season of Candela Obscura and a couple of One-Shots.

Today I’m here to talk about the Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches. Earlier this week I started to obsess over a playlist. An Imodna playlist, to be more specific. It started with me listening to one I found on spotify (I will credit below because it’s been a huge inspiration for this project) and I got the urge to make my own. At the beginning it was something chill, something normal…until it was not. Over the course of the last 3 days I haven’t thought about or listened to anything else. I got the idea of making the playlist in chronological order and I started to take it very seriously. I divided their history in 10 different chapters and assigned each song to the correct time period. At first it was just gonna be into chapters, but then I started to put them in order inside the chapters too, and it became very personal. For real, this playlist has been the one and only thing I wanted to talk about for days. Last night I finally finished it. I’ve played it for run tests several times and I think it’s finally ready to see the light (kinda feels like the project of my life even though I only spent a few days working on it).

After all this brainrot it didn’t feel right to just tweet a link to the playlist, I wanted the world to know everything that went through my head in the process of making this. I also don’t have many people around who care about Critical Role, and I thought it was a good opportunity to connect with the fandom. So all of this took me here, to tumblr. All of a sudden it became very clear that this was the perfect place to set my baby free.

There’s some things I wanna make clear before you start reading, the first being the classic: english is not my first language. Sounds like a joke at this point but for real, it’s very likely that this thing is full of grammatical mistakes and I want to apologize in advance (specially about the in/on/at situation, I’ve been having lots of trouble with those for some reason) This is also the first time I do something like this so it may not be perfect. The second thing is that this will obviously be filled with spoilers. In fact I actually haven’t even got to The Scene, I saw it around on Tumblr and Twitter (impossible to avoid that spoiler, but I don’t really care). I’m aware that there’s a lot of Imodna moments that I haven’t seen yet, but I couldn't wait to start this playlist. I don’t know if the episodes I have left to watch will translate into new chapters or into new songs for the chapters I already have but either way, I will keep this post and the playlist updated.

With that being said, welcome to this ride through an unhinged mind. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy!

The tether scene is one of my favorite ones. I love that metaphor with a passion. That’s why I chose this name for the playlist. With the photo I wanted to make an allusion to the red thread myth given that Laudna herself carries around a spool of red string. I even edited the picture so the hands on the right are slightly gray like Laudna’s.

There’s not just one specific vibe to this playlist, but I find it to be a very calming one, with the exception of some specific moments that we will talk about later. I tried to avoid strong and distracting beats so I could keep it a little ethereal. Lots of acoustic guitar (which I love). I’m not going to talk about every single song because some of them have pretty obvious meanings. Usually the songs aren't a 100% match, but they do have a part to it that speaks to me and to the story on a certain level.

× Imogen and Laudna’s separate lifes ×

At the beginning of the journey that is this playlist, I wanted to introduce the characters. Intertwining their songs, we get to know Imogen and Laudna’s pasts, before they have each other to face the terrors of being witches in a world that doesn’t quite understand them.

Delilah - Florence + The Machine (Laudna)

I sometimes wonder if Marisha has ever listened to this song, because oh my fucking god. I wanted to start the playlist with Abbey, I didn’t because with the intertwining I couldn’t make it fit, but this one is a very good start as well. This song shows perfectly how it must have been being brought back by Delilah and having that power all of a sudden.

Abbey - Mitski (Imogen)

Matilda - Harry Styles (Laudna)

Imogen - Nick Mulvey (Imogen)

Laudna's lullaby - Ginny Di (Laudna)

Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell (Imogen)

The Tradition - Halsey (Laudna)

Burn it down - Daughter (Imogen)

There’s several songs from this album on this playlist. It couldn’t fit better. It reflects perfectly the moment Imogen started to develop her powers. It even refers directly to the way she parts ways with her town (which doesn’t happen for a few chapters but still I felt this one belonged here). Her fear of being a disappointment, her father becoming absent, the feeling of being cursed. It’s all here.

The hanging tree - The hunger games (Laudna)

Still I wait - Anna Leone (Both)

Even with everything they had to go through, they both still wait and cling to hope.

× Imogen and Laudna meet ×

Finally, their paths cross. They experience the feeling of warmth for the first time in a long time. They both feel the need to keep the other one close and begin to appreciate the little things in life, learning how to be taken care of. Goodbye loneliness.

Season of the Witch - Lana Del Rey

I'd like to walk around in your mind - Vashti Bunyan

How important is this song knowing what Imogen can do…

Comfortable Silence - Bella Porter

Without you without them - Boygenius

A hole in the earth - Daughter

That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov

Love brought weight - Old Sea Brigade

That distant shore - Steven Universe

Sick of losing soulmates - Natalie Dawn

I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers

The bug collector - Haley Heyderickx

Sometimes I feel that it’s always Laudna taking care of Imogen, as if she didn't have anything on her own plate. It can't be easy to live with a voice in your head and paranoia. This song shows how Imogen is there to hold Laudna too when it becomes too much.

Look up - Joy Oladokun

If the last one was an Imogen’s POV, this one is totally a Laudna’s POV. Her and her silly little pep talks. “You’re so capable”.

Daylight - Taylor Swift

I love the idea of them learning that life can be good if you find someone to share it with. This song encapsulates that perfectly.

Spell - Dora Jar

I wanted this one to be the last one of the chapter because it introduces the idea of leaving together.

× Imogen and Laudna run away together ×

“Would you run away with me?” They learn what it’s like to have a home that’s not a place, but something entirely new. The past still follows but they’re no longer crushed by it, because they don’t have to sustain it on their own.

Departure - Daughter

Second child, restless child - The Oh Hellos

Just the two of us - Grover Washington, Jr.

I really like to imagine Imodna slice of life scenes when I listen to this song.

Dandelion Wine - Gregory Alan Isakov

Homesick - Dwara, Khotton Palm

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

When I realized how much of a Laudna's POV this song is, I almost cried.

Telepath - Manchester Orchestra

I really really like Manchester Orchestra, it's one of my favorite bands. I never let go of the chance of spreading them around, and this one is the best song they have. Laudna's POV for sure.

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

With songs like this one and Intertwined, I wanted to introduce the idea that even though they're definitely better off now that they left the town, that doesn't instantly solve all of their problems. As I said before, the past follows, but they're no longer alone with it.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

Intertwined - Dodie

Nothing else matters - Phoebe Bridgers

As long as they're together, nothing else matters.

× You lied ×

Even though I only have a few songs for this precise moment of the story, I thought that it was very important to include their first fight. The gem is broken and Imogen feels betrayed. Laudna is left abandoned and thinks she deserves to be punished for Delilah’s wrongs. We explore jealousy for the first time.

Witches - Daughter

The silence at the end of this instrumental song represents the loneliness that Laudna felt when Imogen left her alone after her incident with Delilah

Landfill - Daughter

There are two possible ways of reading into this one. This is in my opinion a Laudna's POV. She could either be talking to Imogen, expressing her deep rooted desire for a punishment for what she’s done; or to Delilah, alluding to the attachment she has to her own powers (that at least as far as she knows are there because of Briarwood) opposed to the hatred she feels for her and for herself for wanting those powers (this is a theme that they explore later on future chapters)

Are you okay? - Winnetka Bowling League

Afterglow - Taylor Swift

The archer - Taylor Swift

× Laudna’s death ×

Otohan Thull relentlessly kills three members of Bells Hells. A coin is flipped and Laudna is gone, again. What awaits beyond the afterlife? Perhaps a little girl, a monster and a tree.

DVD menu - Phoebe Bridgers

If death’s not exactly DVD menu by Phoebe Bridgers, then someone tell me what’s like because I can’t imagine otherwise. I freaking love how this song connects with Daffodil.

Daffodil - Florence + The Machine

Death with dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey

I like to imagine that Laudna didn't appear in Nightmarish Whitestone immediately. Up until this point, she's in a limbo, accepting her own death. Bells in Santa Fe marks the moment she sets foot in that Upside-down kind of world. The constant repetition of “All of this is temporary” is like a mantra for her, the only hope she has of getting through it with her sanity intact is believing that this will also end and she will finally find peace.

Willow Tree March - The paper kiss

Hard times - Ethel Cain

Tether me - Galleaux

With this song and the next one, I wanted to express desperation. We don't get to know in the series how she feels throughout all of this, but I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been. There's a point where anyone would have started begging for help.

Matilda - alt-J

× Imogen’s grief ×

“Is she your favorite?”. Imogen feels deeply guilty for what happened. The possibility of bringing Laudna back is the only thing that’s keeping her from losing it completely. All the regrets, all the words she wishes she said before, all the times she didn’t approached her when she wanted to, come afloat. Grief, disassociation and sorrow.

Words - Storefront Church, Phoebe Bridgers

This song is meant to represent the exact moment of Imogen floating and losing control, with Otohan in her head pushing her to let go.

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

No other song in existence can express better the moment Imogen realize Laudna's gone for good.

Lanterns lit - Son Lux

True Faith - Ashley Johnson

Hurt for me - SYML

Carry you - Novo Amor

My love - Florence + The Machine

Lucky for you - Novo Amor, Gia Margaret

Killer + the sound - Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen

Should have known better - Sufjan Stevens

Ya'aburnee - Halsey

Show you a body - Haley Heyderickx

Imogen (even Laura) loses hope for a moment during the ritual they do for bringing Laudna back. The end of this song summarize this repeating a lyric over and over (you can clearly see through this playlist how much I love repetition).

× Back together ×

After Bells Hells confront Delilah at the Upside-down-Whitestone of Laudna’s nightmares, Pike manages to bring her back to life. Imogen and her are back hand by hand, and nothing can ever tear them apart again. Here’s where I think something awakes inside them, but they are far from realizing it.

I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi

Like an angel “fallen from the sky with grace”, Laudna’s back on Imogen’s arms.

Darling - Halsey

This love (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Now that you're home - Manchester Orchestra

Lose you again - Manchester Orchestra

Halloween - Phoebe Bridgers

But not kiss - Fayer Webster

Like I said, something changes after this. What they’ve been through is not nothing. This song is here to show that something is born deep inside them, on their subconscious far from their reach yet

× Back to Gelvaan ×

Same as with the “You lied” chapter, I felt that this one was important even though I just have one song for it. It just matches perfectly. Imogen and Laudna visit Imogen’s hometown and the place where they met, searching for answers. Old wounds, some closure and an emotionally absent father.

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

× Tethered ×

In this chapter the platonic bond is peaking. It takes place right before The Unraveling, giving in to the “Can I kiss you?” phase and becoming romantic. They’ve been through hell and back just to stay together. This is my personal favorite bit of the playlist, everything is extremely intense but not yet explicit.

Tethered - Sleeping at last

I Will - Mitski

Anchor - Alli X

Don't let them see you cry - Manchester Orchestra

Crosses - José González

Quietly - Manchester Orchestra

Francesca - Hozier

Moon song - Phoebe Bridgers

Capital Karma - Manchester Orchestra

Everywhere, everything - Noah Kahan

In a week - Hozier

Monster - King Princess

j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey

I will follow you into the dark - Miya Folick

I wouldn't ask you - Clairo

× Can I kiss you? ×

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The beggining of something new, the next and most logical step of this journey. The platonic becomes romantic and they get to truly explore the feelings they always had, and some novel ones. This is the moment I know less about, but I’ve used my imagination and my own headcanons.

Can I - Genevieve Stokes

I debated a lot whether to put this one at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of this one because I don't know how relevant Laudna's death is up to this point, and there's a huge reference to this in this song. I know for a fact that the Delilah’s plot is not over and things will change, but I couldn't resist the urge to put it in here, given the name of the song and its obvious connection to the chapter.

We'll never have sex - Leith Ross

Wading in Waist-high Water - Fleet Foxes

This is the last time - The National

All my ghosts - Lizzy McAlpine

Prière pour la nuit - Barbara Pravi, November Ultra

Chewing Cotton Wool - The Japanese House

Bandages - Rachel Bobbitt

This is it, this is The Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist. I don't know if I'm the first one doing this, probably not, I don't know if this has any value to anyone beyond myself, but I had a hell of a lot of fun. If only one person were to read this till the end I would be more than satisfied.

I’ll link here the playlist that started all of this. Massive respect for this person whoever it is, I took lots of the songs from here

Infinite thanks to anyone who gets here or saves my playlist, feel free to respond with any song that you think adds to the story!! Something tells me this isn't the end of my Imodna brainrot so,,,, more things could be on their way (a fanfic, perhaps?).

No idea how to end this so… long live Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches!!!

[pantoneyoongi]

neon signs | you do this for fun?

title ; you do this for fun? pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you 

notes ; 

this is part of the neon signs drabble series, where drabbles are released in random order (but listed chronologically in the masterlist!) 

series description ;

namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi. 

(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.) 

word count ; 1.3k

tags ; fluff, i think that’s gonna be the only tag ever for this series LOL, pls go to masterlist for more / general tags 

yoongi is not really good with feelings. he says this because he’s not really good at anything except math, but also because if there is anything he is particularly bad at, it’s feelings. 

they’re just sort of difficult for him. he gets confused. overwhelmed. he’d rather let hoseok take the lead on the emotional intelligence front, which is probably why hoseok is even his friend in the first place. 

but then you came along, and yoongi’s brain feels even more scrambled. it’s like someone crossed the radio wires and now all he gets is static and the occasional jump in audio. this leads to a lot of concerned looks from his roommate, whenever yoongi’s brain decides to replay yet another interaction between the two of you, leaving him no choice but to yank his pillow out from under his head to semi-suffocate himself as he muffles embarrassed yells into it. 

why does he do this? why is he like this? hoseok says it’s because yoongi is just awkward and happens to have the misfortune of having one of those faces that scares people, but that doesn’t explain why yoongi sometimes says shit in the entirely wrong order, causing more misunderstandings than absolutely necessary. 

it’s you, though, that’s different. you don’t assume the worst from him. even when he says things a little harsher than he intends, you still just grimace a little before reframing his words into what he really meant, and yoongi nods his head stiffly in return. you’re gentle with him, always willing to help, and always figure out a way to work around yoongi’s gruffness. 

“what are you doing?” yoongi asks in lieu of a greeting when he opens your dorm door. he mentally raps himself on the head. “i mean - hi.” 

your head tilts up from bending over your puzzle to look at him, an enchanting smile forming across your lips. “hi. i’m building a puzzle,” you chirp, leaning back so he can see. 

yoongi comes to sit beside you, legs bending into a criss-cross as he peers at your work. the outer edges of your puzzle are just starting to come together, pieces scattered about your dorm floor. it’s a good thing your roommate is patient and likes you. but everyone likes you, so it’s no surprise. 

“are you… building it under your bed?” 

“yep!” you chime happily, hands sifting through pieces as you search for more edge pieces. yoongi hands you one and your entire face lights up, lower lip tucked under your teeth as you figure out where it goes. “it’s the roomiest under my bed,” you explain, as you continue searching for pieces. yoongi doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he just starts grouping pieces that look alike together, nodding as you rattle off about how your roommate already let you build a puzzle on your limited floor space as it is, so you may as well try to be considerate and shove most of it as far out of the way as you can. 

“and if i do this,” you shove your hand in the spaces between the wooden slats of your bed, lifting the mattress just enough to shove your phone in between the wood and the mattress, leaving your flashlight on. “more lighting!” 

you look so utterly proud of yourself that yoongi fails to find words, just offering a timid smile and a quiet huff of a laugh, nodding. 

this girl is so fucking weird, he thinks, even as he feels something in his chest hum pleasantly while he watches you turn back to your puzzle. the feeling reminds him of caramel and cinnamon, like hands wrapping around hot mugs with noses still red from the cold. he’s got the image of you contently breathing in the scent of your caramel apple cider from the campus cafe fuzzy in his head, all of it melding together into something homey and warm. 

“where’s joonie and hobi?” you don’t look away from your little floor project when you ask, placing pieces in the general areas they should be in. yoongi hands you another end piece and gets lightheaded when your eyes shine at him again. 

“i’m not sure,” he shrugs, carefully flipping over pieces so he can concentrate on anything other than the stars in your eyes. “they came with me here but then by the time i got to your door, they suddenly weren’t there anymore.”

you shake your head with a dramatic sigh. “whatever. you’re here,” you beam. “who needs those losers?” 

yoongi is probably supposed to say words, but he can’t because he’s made the mistake of looking at you again, and for some reason that always makes him short circuit a little. so he just curls his lips upwards instead, enjoying the sound of your soft laughter. 

“do you want to go find them? i’m sure you have better things to do than build puzzles with me,” you offer, but yoongi shakes his head before your words have even finished forming. he continues placing pieces into various piles, occasionally trying to put them together, but they all look the same to him, making him frown as he yanks two pieces apart with yet another failed attempt. 

“you do this for fun?” he asks skeptically, and you bite your lip, watching him struggle. yoongi’s hands are a little too big for the tiny pieces, and he looks like an old man when he squints at them. 

“i do,” you confirm, slowly pulling a piece out of his hands to match with another one in yours. he looks a little sheepish at that, hand coming to rub at the back of his neck. “we can do something else though, really, if you’d like.” 

“no, s’fine,” yoongi mumbles, settling for just laying out the pieces as neatly and organized as he can. it’s a wonder that even after midterms, you’d subject yourself to this. of course you would. just like namjoon, your brain is always whirring, non-stop. the two of you are much more alike than either of you would ever be caught dead admitting to. 

at his response, you shrug, accepting his answer and letting him mess with the pieces on your floor. you make idle conversation, chattering away to fill the air. yoongi listens patiently to everything you have to say, eyes darting across your features whenever you’re too busy scanning your puzzle to be aware of what he’s doing. 

he doesn’t know when the feeling sneaks in. maybe it was there already when he opened the door to your room. or maybe it started when he began organizing your puzzle pieces in spite of how confusing all the little parts look to him. maybe it started way before any of this, before he got comfortable spending time alone with you in your dorm, building a puzzle - of all things -  on your floor. maybe it was when you burst through the door on his first day of chinese class this semester, looking out of breath and adorably embarrassed. 

yoongi doesn’t know. he’s not exactly good with his feelings. but he definitely knows what this one is, doesn’t need hoseok to translate for him, least of all when you grin wide at the outline of your thousand piece puzzle built out, all teeth and lifted cheeks and crescent eyes. 

his heart pounds excitedly in his chest, sparks running through him when you return the high five he offers you. and maybe it’s too early to say, but he wants this moment and all the other ones with you forever. he adores the way you ramble away, spinning mundane daily activities into full blown adventures, hooked on every word you tell him. 

he likes you. this, he’s sure of, because with you, the feeling comes easy. 

with you, everything always comes easy. 

series masterlist ; neon signs

taglist ; @thelilbutifulthings​ @bbsantc​