#still heartbroken because i wanted her to see one more sunny day out on the balcony but

[spark-circuit]

sad that i have to make this post but wanted to archive some of her photos. i'll put context under the cut just in case.

for any mutuals who knew about my cat Chloe, she sadly had to be put to sleep today due to heart failure. she was well loved - a big eater with a big heart - and lived practically in decadence for 18 human years though; the vet said she was around the ballpark of 114 cat years old! i'll miss her dearly as she was around for a lot of my childhood through school, college and uni, and through lockdown too, but at the same time i know we gave her the best life she could've had, so that at least softens the blow a little.

rest in peace, dear! 💙 clearly you preferred mum taking care of you over us, lmao 😸

[saphirafoxgirlspost1]

(Open Rp) Something's wrong with Sunny day jack in "Sleepless In Cloudy Town"

It all started With A Nice Decent town Called "Middleton", Saphira had Been Together with Ron For 7 years But During the time..She was Suspecting ron acting Strange lately ever since after 8th grade..including The Missing out on the Whole Summer cruise and dates as well..She was been stood out by him..The More He changed..The More Suspicions saphira has to investigate him to see whats going on..Until one day, Saphira Caught Ron and Kim Kissing…She was Shocked and betrayed, so She comes to Ron and Slammed The Locker Door and she said,

Saph:"RONALD!! So this is How you disappeared on me and Stood me out as well too?…You were Cheating on me with Kim!? cross her arms What are you have to say to yourself?"

Ron gasp..and try to explain..and Saphira said,

Saph:"I don't want to hear it Ronald!, Now..I'm giving you an Ultimanum Right here! Right now! You know damn well that I'm 3 months pregnant With our daughter…So..you got two Options..and you Better Chose 1…It's Either "Break-up with Kim, Forbid you to See her again, Step up and be a father Of Our Daughter" Or! You "get out of my Life and my daughter and pay Child support! And I'll be Suing you and Kim For Emotional Distress." Oh! and Either ways, I'm Still going to tell your parents about this and I Hope you better chose..Its Either "Me" Or "HER!"…Your choice and you have until Midnight!..So better think long and hard ron…because your not going to Worm your way out of this one."

She is pretty angry at ron..but he begged her..but She refused to let him in..and what she said..will made him think long and hard.

Saph: "Oh! and If you Don't Decide by the time midnight came, I'm Kicking you out of my house! and you will be sued along with that red headed whore! Because "I" Will not allowed Cheaters In my House!"

Saphira Snapped In anger..letting him Know How much trouble he is in when it comes To Ultimanum. Then that night..Saphira got his Stuff to make sure to be ready to kick him out…until Ron came home..and Sees Saphira sitting down with her leg cross and her arms across her chest..and she said" Well, What do you chose Ronald?" Then..Ron told Her that he decided to chose her…So Saphira Nodded..and Told him that he can sleep on the couch for a Week..She was pretty angry at him still… Months later, Her beloved Daughter Serena..Died a Stillborn..She was devastated… Her parents and Rons parents was heartbroken. Then in Funeral…Saphira was Looking for Ron to see if he shows up…She was furious when the Funeral started…and after that..he showed up at the Wake party..and Saphira scolded him and telling him that He needs to be there for His own Daughter..but he Smacked her…But Her Father Punch Him dead in the face and Chewed him out, telling Ron that He better not lay hands on his daughter again..or else..his hand will be Chopped off clean out…as Ron was scared of her fathers rage… as Saphira asked where was he when the ceremony started…but ron started to lie…and saphira glares at him…but then time of the prom…She was crown prom Queen and Ron the prom king..until..Her friends and wade..shows everyone the true colors of Ronald Stoppable…Saphira saw it…and Boy..She is Shocked, She saw ron and Kim and "Bonnie"..Screwing eachother, Stealing money…and also..Wade shows the cause the death of Serena..was this Illegal drug as her eyes widen..and then..hearing the voice recording…then..She Turns to ron and gives him the "Is this true?" look in her eyes…She is in rage and Hurt and betrayal… After that…Saphira threw Ron stuff out of her house..and she Tear ron into a new one..calling her a traitor, cheater, Man whore, and a Slut as well… His parents was Furious as well..and they apoligize to Saphira Perfusely..and Ron was force to apoligize as well..including kim and bonnie..but she didn't forgive them..and suing those 3 For damage..and murdered of her beloved daughter…After Graduation, Saphira went to Court..and Find Ron, Kim, and Bonnie guilty for all the Emotional distress on saphira, murder of her daughter and Embezzlement Of her family money and Her fathers buisness money…So they have to work in prison..and Spend 50 years in prison…So after that, Saphira Decided to move away to a Nice town Called "Cloud town".

6 years later

On the 6th of November, Saphra Went to the Garage sale..and saw a Video tape..and it was a "Sunny day crew" video tape…She decided to buy the tape and all…and brought it home..She lives in the Nice Luxury manor…and she sees the beautiful door..from the second floor..still locked..with a name.."Serena" on it..she felt heartbroken..until..She began to put tape in the VCR..and press play and then..it starts..and saw sunny day jack..She Giggles and said," Damn..he is pretty good looking but..familiar.." But then..it happened…

[starkcanvas]

How do you think Mari (as dead) would react to each of the game's endings? (including the variations of the knife and move away endings)

Ooh… this is a really loaded question :0 and because of that, I’ll sort this into 4 sections for each ending :)

Neutral End: Basil dies, but Sunny still moves:

Naturally Mari is just heartbroken at Basil now joining her in the Afterlife but she’s also just extremely distraught and saddened that her attempts to support Sunny didn’t work in the end and that it was kinda all for nothing. Especially since Sunny’s trauma will now forever follow him until he tells the truth, but she sadly now highly doubts that he’ll ever tell and will eventually take it to his own grave… no matter how close or faraway that day may come…

Knife End: Both Basil and Sunny Die:

Yeah… I imagine Mari held Sunny in her arms as he slowly passed on. And she won’t lie, the tiniest bit of her is disappointed in Basil and Sunny for not telling their friend the truth and now letting them deal with 2 more suicidal deaths. Her including her own as one since now the truth will never be known until the others pass on. As she doesn’t expect her mother to say anything as she’d be too grief-stricken… But all in all, that disappointment is vastly overshadowed by just… how much she missed being able to hold and comfort her baby brother. Using this as a chance to apologize to both boys for an accident she ultimately started.

Bad End: Close… O-YA-SU-MI… (Who gets this specific reference? Lol)

Oh boy uh…she definitely followed Sunny all the way to the roof and jumped after him. If she was distressed in the neutral endings, she’s utterly horrified and even more traumatized from him jumping off the hospital roof. The moment he hits the ground and dead, she drags his spirit away from his body as fast as she can.

(Now, I am aware that some people like to make it Omori and not Sunny as he’s, according to Omori, dead due to letting Omori take over but here, when Sunny’s body died, I see it as Omori dying because Omori was connected to Sunny’s brain making a representation of his guilt. If the brains dead, so is Omori and he’s gone for good, that’s why Sunny’s the ghost)

Anyway, she’d just get him out of there as fast as she can, taking him back to her grave and just sobbing the entire time, mumbling nothing but apologies and giving him nothing but, hugs, forehead and cheek kisses. Her cradling her baby brother in her arms while now just heavily blaming herself for ruining everyone’s lives forever…

Truth End + Secret Ending: I have something to tell you…:

She’s behind him the whole time, listening to him tell them everything. While she expected their reactions to be negative, it still really hurt her heart to see her found family look so… destroyed. Each one passing through her as they leave the room but she still stays with Sunny. Walking with him as he confronts Basil again to tell him the news that they know.

She was prepared for an intense sob fest between the two friends… but what she didn’t expect was to see the light return into Sunny’s eyes, Something slowly disappearing from both him and Basil… and seeing Sunny make the most genuine and softest smile she’s ever seen. All of them are brought to tears as the boys hug it out and Mari joins in, hugging both of them. Even though she knows they can’t feel her presence, she wanted to at least try. Let the boys know just how proud she is.

It’s bittersweet for her as now that the truth is known, she’s not really needed anymore. She guided Sunny to his goal and now… it’s his time. Her’s is over and now it’s all about moving on. She doesn’t know what’s next and what “moving on” really means for her but she’s just happy that her friends can now move past her death.

[lilac-udon]

romance blue print for this au, it’s really fiction

I never think this through

sunny -> basil-yes in love but stupid, definitely like basil accompany bc he is lonely but deny most feelings towards him, at first it’s bc he thinks basil is human, then the I’m just the worst person I caused death. Both of them are mentally ill so they never communicate their affection because reason

Later part he give up whatever they are and just go with basil , he knows he likes him and basil seem like happy to follow whatever sunny desire, he is indecisive because of mari, which later he felt better w basil which caused conflict in his mind

basil->sunny- obsessed with the idea of death, but also slowly got attached of the changes of someone can and only ever be aside without leaving or dying before him, he would followed whatever ppl wants, a bit of unaware selfish tendencies shows when he wants sunny attention to himself , same as sunny, unspoken rules but very comfortable getting comfy with him , actually really stressed out getting actual indication of others loving him

Kel -> basil- in love with basil. He idealizes starting a family or being with someone because of loneliness, and how his father and mother relationship. Problems is not knowing basil enough, and basil intentionally hiding info about himself form kel because don’t want to hurt him or think they will keep this way and kel passion will fade . They are really nice to each other . Kel just always thought he love basil and whatever happened he just wanted basil happiness (so if sunny and basil became a thing, good for them) it actually goes more and more neutral till the day he got heartbroken

I got tired and this make no sense

Omori ->basil-not much opinion, good food and interesting, noting beyond that, also not letting sunny be with basil is what sunny deserves

Omori->sunny- (middle finger if he could) think sunny a cat and too indecisive, don’t really want to care about him but they sadly share a body, actually still listen to sunny wishes, even though he won’t admit, really rough ways but he is the one trying to take care of sunny , he is very hungry

Basil ->omori- the more straightforward person that is alike sunny, acts more childish, wants to take care

Sunny->omori- who ? to, other me please help me , acceptance, try to make Omori less aggressive, but like how

Kel-> sunny- respectful and sorry for him, best friend, actually someone who understands him, and plays with him sometimes(kel -wow i thought I was childish, never know your too) deep bond

Aubrey-> sunny- respectful (not saying, and just a bit fan girl, just a tiny bit) sunny and Aubrey is more like study group or teacher student for my blue prints, yet to be finished

Sunny->Aubrey- really pretty person but I felt like she hate me, worried about her, try to warn her

Kel-> Aubrey- friend, got tempter but funny and nice to talk to, sometimes wisdom sometimes just fooling around, helping her with her stuff

Aubrey->kel - stupid wolf boy, actually good companion but won’t admit, hope him have a better future them her

Basil-> Aubrey- jealous, if I’m a woman would sunny like me more , a little scared of her because she always seems angry towards him

Aubrey-> Basil- jealous, you will never die , why can’t I be like you , also other complicated emotion (? yet to be finished

Hero-> kel- deeply sorry but don’t know how to fix their relationship after he been avoiding the problem, busy doing other stuff to occupy his goalless life, he isn’t really trying to fix it because he’s really busy, everything in his life seems perfect besides himself and the incident he hurts kel

Kel -> hero- it hurts a bit but get a life on his own, happy to see his bother succeed, feel like he needs to be happy about his current life but has difficulty to communicate with hero, he knows but he doesn’t know how to

hero-> mari-admired/ also a lot of emotion I don’t want to talk about bc spoilers and I felt people would just get the wrong idea, yet to finish

Mari -> hero- the same ,yet to reveal

Mari-> sunny- complicated ,yet to reveal

The blueprint element will be: protective, plan B

[heiressofdoodles]

A Lament for Cheesie

I remember that day I came home with them. It was bright and sunny, and the old lady there didn't even think to see me. But I saw something about her and her family. I could smell it. I was drawn to that smell, and jumped to see her as quickly as I could. She didn't go to see who she came for. It was okay, though. Others didn't like me, but it was okay. Because she did.

The old lady had a family. The smell I was drawn to when she opened the door. When I walked inside the house, it was amazing! A whole palace! Just for me! But what's more, I could smell something. Something that I smelled with the old lady. Another cat? Well, if there's someone else here, I'm sure I'll love them too. And this dog, here, I'm sure I'll get along with him eventually. He's an old man anyways.

There's just so many people here. How do I find my owner in all this mess?

It's been a few days. Everything has calmed down, and I think I just met her. My owner. She's skittish, and she doesn't seem to know how to see me, but I know. I'll just give her time. Then, we'll have all the time in the world.

She greeted me today! She gave me her hand today for me to sniff, but I already knew she was the one. She is my owner, and I will be her cat. That is a promise I'll always keep.

So there is another cat here. A black shorthair. She stares at me from the distance, almost furious. I overheard the people say she's not one for other cats. She's scared. Poor girl; I didn’t mean to threaten you. I hope we can be friends. Maybe some day.

My owner had to leave today. Where could she have gone? She didn't come back with the others, but maybe that's the point? Hm. Well, I'll wait for her. And besides, I have others to play with while I wait for her.

She's back! Oh thank goodness, she's come back to me! I missed you very much! Please promise me you won't be so long coming home again, please! I could even go with you if you like! But… maybe later. Yeah, we'll wait a bit longer, and then we will be happy for the rest of our lives.

Mavis, the black shorthair, has been warming up to me. She comes down here to watch the birds with me, and she sometimes play with me. After so long, I thought that she would never get used to me. Especially since she was… uncomfortable with me upstairs. But it's okay. I'll prove myself to be a friend to the end.

…Where did the dog go? I knew the old man was sick longer than I had been here, but where did he go to? Everyone is quiet, and they're keeping to themselves. I hope he will be back soon.

She thinks I don't notice, but I do. My owner is afraid and heartbroken. She sees herself an outcast. She doesn't feel respected or loved. I know she's loved. Because I love her. We can be outcasts together.

The mother doesn't seem to like me. It's not my fault her plants tastes so good! Maybe I can get away with just another nibble… EEK! NO I COULDN'T!

…I'm sick. I know I am. My breath is wretched, my body aches, and I cannot eat, though I have certainly tried to. I know something bad is going to happen. My owner is afraid. I hear it, I see it, I smell it. I don't want her to worry. Don't want anyone to worry. So I'll stay here at the window. Out of sight. Out of mind. Just… waiting.

A treat…? She offers me a treat… Don't you know that a treat is useless to me now…? …Well, maybe I'll have a little bit. Just like old times…

…I'm not of their world anymore. I see her, still. She cried and mourned with all her heart when her father told her. How I wish I could help her. Such an ache in her heart… But I will be there for her. They say cats have nine lives. Then I will spend all of my nine lives trying to find her and go back home with her. Then, we will have all the time in the world together.

We will have all the time in the world together soon.

[defineuphoria]

Hello. It’s moon.

How are you all doing? Are you doing well?

I hope you’re all doing well.

The weather has been gradually going from sunny days, to scorching hot, and rainy monsoons..I hope everyone is prepared for these unpredictable weathers by protecting themselves still, with masks. Don’t get sick. Prioritize yourself more.

The first 3-4 days of when my grandfather passed away, I lost several pounds of weight from loss of appetite and the amount of stress that was burdened onto my body. I’ve always been on the thinner side, but my current weight is way too underweight for my age and height.

Everyday, I wanted to die and I felt so hopeless and lost. I really miss him so much, it feels like a part of myself died along with him.

Everyday is still so so so so, painful.

The pain and grief completely seared into my being.

The first initial hour, I suffered from a panic attack when I realized he’s really gone. I was sitting in front of my tv— I threw my head into my hands and down on my knees, and just screamed in utter disbelief. The entire living room echoed with my screams and cries. It felt like I was in a bad fever dream or a terribly cringe drama where the main character’s beloved dies, but I wish it were all false. It was too real. Between trying to catch my breath, crying, and fighting the pain that was threatening to wreck complete havoc in my chest, I couldn’t do it. I cried and cried for hours on and off, I would sit up on my bed and just scream or hold back as much into the hours of silence at midnight. Even whilst showering, I found myself standing still and just zoning out while hot water scalded my skin and misted the entire shower walls with steam. I was truly at a loss.

I always associated death and the loss of a loved one with very negative feelings and pure fear. I myself get panic attacks whenever my mind shuts all thoughts and only think about how when one dies, your body is no more. Your memory, your heart, everything, dies. Cut of all function. It’s such a brutal and heartbreaking reality, that I can’t accept.

I truly envy those who have come to terms with it and have accepted it as a natural and beautiful process of all life.

The part that hurts most, is the fact that I failed to keep my promise. I promised my grandfather to see him one more time. The last time I saw him, was in 2019. Before Covid-19 hit. I had only saw him for a couple of hours..I accidentally got his hopes up initially, when I told him that I was going to be able to stay at his place for a couple of days. Hoping we’d be able to revisit the places that he and his wife used to take me before. But my flight departure day got kicked up a day earlier, due to work. So I had to leave him earlier than we both had expected..I was truly heartbroken.

After Covid, I was unable to visit him because that was when his health really had gotten worse. I was afraid of visiting him and getting him sick since cases were rising near me. I knew his health was taking a scary turn, so I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to see him again. Just like how grandmother passed and I wasn’t able to see her.

I failed. I failed to see him. I feel like I failed as a granddaughter. I led him to believe he’d be able to see my face once again. And I didn’t get to see him one last time. I didn’t get to tell him about the beautiful things in life that made me want to live another day.

I’m sorry..I’m so so sorry.

When I visited my grandfather back in 2019, we stopped by his favorite hair salon. He actually took me to this hair salon a couple of times before as well. It was owned by this really nice Asian lady, who remembered us. My grandfather always told me that she said hello to me whenever we talked on the phone. She really loved my grandfather too. His smile and selfless kindness was really infectious to everyone around him.

My grandfather walked inside the salon first, so I waited outside. He wanted to surprise her.

When I walked inside; her jaw dropped. She gasped so loud, her clients and coworkers were all gawking and wondering what’s going on. A family affair? Some drama? Nah, it’s just a long reunion. She was over the moon and truly so ecstatic for my grandfather. She said something that really struck me next..,

“He walked in with this really huge smile on his face and I just knew, I had a feeling that something was making him so happy. I’m so glad that you’re back, dear.”

And we hugged. She had gotten some years old.

I did too.

We all did.

I cut off my phone for several days.

First of all, I never told my sister about my grandfather’s passing. I beared the burden alone this time because she had exams.

A part of me wished that I was gone, instead.

All this time, while battling depression, I wanted to be somewhere by myself. Where no one knew me. I still feel so empty, I don’t know what my purpose is anymore. There’s so many things that I wanted to tell my grandfather about my life. I wanted to update him on so many achievements. I also never told him a lot of things like how I’ve been battling depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD because what parent wants to hear from a child they raised and pampered out of love and care, that they wish to disappear?

I think those words would hurt him most.

It would hurt a lot of people who know me, I think.

And most of all; I’m truly apologetic to both of my grandfather and grandmother now, who has to see these sides of me that I never told them about. Watching me crawl in the corner of my room crying my eyes out, feeling alone, and begging to disappear.

I’m sorry, grandpa, I won’t be the President of the US. In fact, I don’t want to. This country is a whole shit hole anyway.

Any parent seeing their child feel like this would probably want to just protect their child, but I have not been conditioned to feel loved by my own parents.

I’m so negative and critical of myself, but I know nothing else out of it. I don’t know what it’s like to feel so happy, that you feel like you’ve been lifted off the countless burdens you carry. Happiness; genuinely terrifies me. It’s such a vague concept. One day, you feel like you’re on cloud nine, and the next, the whole world could crumble beneath your feet. That’s exactly what happened the day I found out about my grandfather.

In fact, I was healing that day. I laughed so much that day, I didn’t know I could laugh this freely.

I don’t know what it’s like. I don’t know what it’s like to feel appreciated or thought of.

It’s all foreign to me and seemingly “weird”, because no one told me that it’s ok.

Sometimes I come off as an unserious person.

I personally think that’s just my way of masking my weak self from completely crumbling away. I wanted a persona of the true me of what I wish to be.. to look seemingly happy. Hoping to feel this way one day.

You know- the “fake it til you make it” kinda mindset.

As for support systems, I’ve long lost this.

A year ago, I cut off contact with someone who was my support system. When someone brutally and suddenly cuts you out of life, it pretty much means they have given up on you, right? At least that’s what it felt like. Someone who I thought we’d be friends even 15, 25, 30, years down the line, gone, just like that. They’re continuing on with their daily life, smiling and laughing with their new friends, while I’m still stuck here.

I’m not sure how I can build friendships like that again. Let alone trust.

Do people feel this way about me?

Can they trust me like I did with this person?

What if I feel like they’re home to me, but it’s not mutual?

I’m afraid.

There’s so many people around me, theoretically, but, physically, I feel so alone.

And most of all, I’m sorry if anyone has been trying to reach me. I honestly cannot bring myself to face my friends who might have been worried about my well-being. I’m not sure if there are, but if you are reading this, I’m sorry I can’t face you right now.

I cannot lie to myself or you, that anything is ok, when it’s not. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to any of us.

But I’m really thankful to my closest friends I have made on Twitter. I thank the universe for bringing me these people who made me laugh so hard to the point of tears, that they’ve found their way and seeped into my daily and personal life. Sometimes a strange way I look at it, I wondered if I have made an impact in other people’s life the same way. I wondered if someone thought of me, or if I existed in their daily life.

I think these thoughts came from the lack of feeling appreciated on my end, from previous friendships, so it’s not anyone, who’s currently in my life’s fault for making me feel this particular way.

I’m not sure.

But regardless of it all,

I’m just tired. I really want to beg to the universe to stop taking people from me.

I have nothing left to give anymore, yet it still hurts every time I get battered by the world.

I’m not sure when this will be uploaded, I doubt I’ll remember when it’ll be uploaded since it’s on a schedule automatic upload, but if you see this,

when you feel like you cannot push past through a tough moment, think of all the times you told yourself that you also couldn’t surpass those times.

You’re here now,

aren’t you?

That’s all that matters.

Survive one day at a time.

Even if it’s just to survive.

[danydragons21]

TSTS Chapter 18: The Void

Actually blown away that I’m posting another chapter so quickly. Who am I? I hardly recognize myself. But enjoy!

Read on ao3 here.

CHAPTER 18: THE VOID

It was raining when Elain awoke. Good, she thought. Much more fitting for her mood than sunny weather.

Unable to bring herself to face the day, she remained in bed for a while, watching droplets of rain slither down the window pane, trying her best not to think about last night but failing miserably. It didn’t help that she knew Azriel was sleeping on the other side of the door. She’d heard him outside the room all night, shuffling and squirming around. A small part of her felt guilty about making him sleep on the hard floor, but a much larger part did not give a shit.

It’s not like she was even that mad at him. Okay—she was pretty mad. But mostly she was just embarrassed. Humiliated. Her almost-kiss with Azriel the night of Solstice had been…it had been indescribably important to her. And when he rejected her, she had immediately assumed it was because of something she did. Because of some mistake she had made.

But no. If Azriel was to be believed (and as angry as Elain was at him for keeping this from her, she did believe him), the only mistake she’d made was thinking Rhys had her best interests at heart.

Rhys. It was him, not Azriel, at the root of her anger. She and Rhys had always been close. Even when she first arrived at Velaris, recently transformed into Fae and scared and heartbroken, he had always looked out for her. When Feyre was still undercover in the Spring Court, he made an effort to check on her at least once a day. And since then, they’d only become closer. She lived at the River House with him and his family, for gods’ sake, spent day in and day out helping with dinner and the garden and Nyx. It was disappointing and upsetting and infuriating all at once that Rhys had deemed her autonomy not as important as whatever political game he was playing.  She thought he cared about her more than that.

The shocked emptiness she’d originally felt about the situation had transformed overnight. It was now a massive void, a black hole, snatching at and internalizing every negative thought that flew across her mind. The void fed off anger, and she had no shortage of anger right now. It was nice, she supposed, to actually let herself feel something . It was nice to feel angry when so often, she forced herself to feel nothing.

She let that anger motivate her enough to get out of bed and dress. By the time she opened the door, Azriel had woken up and was leaning against the opposite wall. There were dark circles under his eyes. She ignored the slight pang in her heart at the sight.

He opened his mouth uncertainly, but Elain spoke before he could. “Let’s leave.”

He closed his mouth and nodded tightly. And that was that.

***

Azriel brought her straight to the River House. She surprised herself by how happy she was to see it. She’d never really thought of it as her “home,” but the contentment that washed over her at the sight of the city made her realize how much she’d missed it. Her home.  The second he set her down on the grass, she was off, throwing open the doors and racing up the stairs. There was only one person she wanted to see right now.

“Nyx!” She cooed. The baby squealed excitedly when he saw her standing in the doorway of his nursery. She scooped him up in her arms and clutched him tightly to her chest.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much! Look at you, look at how much bigger you’ve gotten!” She held him out at arms length. “You aren’t allowed to grow anymore when Auntie Elain is gone,” she said sternly. Nyx giggled and wrapped his chubby arms around her neck once more.

A voice came from the doorway. “I’d never tell Nesta this, but you are most certainly his favorite aunt.”

She spun around to find Feyre leaning against the doorframe, a wide grin on her pretty, freckled face. After kissing her on the cheek and tousling Nyx’s hair, her younger sister asked, “Where’s Azriel? Didn’t he come with you?”

Elain kept her face neutral as she responded, “I’m not sure. I ran up to see my nephew the second we got here,” she said, and rubbed her nose against Nyx’s, making him giggle even more.

“Oh, okay. Well, I know Rhys was looking for him.”

Rhys. A sharp burst of anger rushed through her at the sound of his name. And then her vision went slightly foggy.

It was a perfect storm of singing shadows: her anger and unchecked emotions, the proximity to her brother-in-law, Feyre mentioning his name…all of those reasons compounded and caused her to have a vision she did not ask for. The second time it had happened in the past week.  As if underwater, or underneath a heavy blanket, she sensed Feyre grab Nyx from her limp arms. But then the vision began and she could see nothing else:

“We haven’t spoken since that day on the mountain,” Rhys said quietly. He and Azriel were sitting across from each other in Rhys’ office. The sky was dark through the window; it was nighttime.

Azriel remained silent and Rhys let out a heavy, exhausted sigh.

“I’m sorry for how harshly I spoke. I am. But are you going to stay angry at me forever?”

Still, Azriel did not speak. Rhys’s violet eyes darkened with frustration.

“You know she does not belong with you. In your heart of hearts, you know that,” Rhys said quietly.

Elain gasped and broke above the surface. The vision washed away until Nyx’s nursery was once again clear.

“Elain? Are you okay?” Feyre asked, eyes wide with worry.

“I’m fine,” she panted, her skin cold and clammy. Shakily, she sat down in a nearby rocking chair. Nyx let out a slight whimper. Elain forced herself to smile at the baby.

“I’m fine, darling.”

“What did you see?”

Elain’s fists clenched. What did she see? She saw proof that someone she loved and cared about didn’t love and care about her at all.

“Nothing important,” she replied blankly. “Nothing important at all.”

***

By the time the Inner Circle meeting began that evening, Elain was in a much better mood. She’d spent the previous few hours outside with Nuala and Cerridwen; the twins had been kind enough to keep up with the garden while she was gone. Feyre had High Lady duties to attend to, so she’d brought Nyx with her to the garden, as well. She showed the twins how to braid flowers into their hair by demonstrating on herself. It had helped divert her attention away from the Rhys and Azriel situation, but as she sat down for the meeting and faced Rhys for the first time since discovering his betrayal, the familiar fist of anger inside her tightened.

“Who wants to start?” Feyre asked. Elain frowned in confusion. Her sisters and brothers-in-law were the only ones seated at the table; Mor, Azriel and Amren were noticeably absent.

“Where are the others?” She asked.

“Mor is in Vallahan, Amren is at the Summer Court, and Azriel is out on Spymaster duties. There’s been reports of Autumn Court soldiers seen roaming random islands in the southern hemisphere. He went to investigate. So they won’t be joining us today.”

Thankfully, Elain was able to keep her expression blank. But Autumn Court soldiers had been spotted on other islands besides Pentalos? That was news to her. She was also rather miffed that Azriel hadn’t bothered saying goodbye to her, though she supposed that was rather unfair. It’s not like she had sought him out either, and given how they left things, he probably knew to give her space.

“How are things going at the mortal manor, Elain?” Feyre asked.

“Very well,” she responded. “Vassa and the others have been very busy the past few weeks, but I’ve managed to spend time with them all. I still am not sure what information Vassa might be hiding from us, but I am sure she is hiding something.”

“How do you know?”

She shrugged. “She’s my friend. I can tell.”

Cassian smirked. “Good enough reason for me.”

“Are Lucien and Jurian aware of whatever Vassa is hiding?” Nesta asked.

“I can’t be sure, but I don’t think so,” she said. “I’ll find out, though.”

“Good,” Rhys said, giving her an encouraging smile. Elain turned away and ignored him.

“How are things with Lucien?” Feyre asked carefully.

Elain frowned. That question came out of nowhere.

“Fine,” she said slowly. Silence followed.

Rhys cleared his throat. “We have a favor to ask.”

Her entire body went stiff in trepidation. “I’m kind of in the middle of the last favor you asked of me,” she said coldly.

Letting out a nervous laugh, Rhys continued. “You’re right. But hopefully you won’t find this one too cumbersome.”

“Depends on what it is.” She began to finger her braid nervously. The flowers she’d twined in it earlier were still there.

“The Autumn Court has requested all the Courts meet in two months' time for a symposium. Beron claims it is a step forward for peace between the Courts, but we suspect differently,” Feyre said.

“Two months’ time,'' Elain repeated. “The ball at the Mortal Manor is in two months’ time.”

“Exactly. The timing of his request is too uncanny. And we haven’t forgotten the vision you had all those weeks ago of the Autumn Court soldier saying Beron was working with Koschei. We don’t know why exactly he wants all the Courts in one place at one time, but it can’t be anything good.”

“No, it can’t,” Elain murmured. “So what are we going to do?”

“We’re going to keep our friends close and our enemies closer,” Cassian said.

“The Symposium will be held at the Mortal Manor. The day after the ball, which all the Courts are also welcome to attend. Vassa’s already agreed. We needed a neutral location to meet, and this way we can still control who comes in and out.” Nesta clarified.

“Isn’t it incredibly risky to host a bunch of rival courts while we are setting a trap for and evading an attack from Koschei?”

“We’ve considered that. But as likely as it is that Beron and Koschei are working together, we still have no hard evidence. It’s possible they are both trying to set separate traps for us. This way, at least, we have the upper hand and can set our plans and defenses accordingly.” Feyre answered this time.

“So delegates from all the Courts will be at the Ball,” Rhys said. “Which leads us into our favor. You’ve already been singled out as a target for Koschei, as you very well know, since you volunteered to be bait.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nesta’s knuckles go white. “We don’t wait to give anyone else a reason to target you.” He paused, and Prythian’s most powerful High Lord turned to his wife in a silent plea to take over, apparently too nervous to continue.

“We think it will be beneficial for you and Lucien to pretend to have accepted the mating bond at the Ball.” Feyre’s words came out in a rush, as if saying them quickly would easy any negative impact.

“ What?”

“We aren’t asking you to actually accept it,” Cassian said earnestly. “Just pretend, for safety’s sake.”

“We can glamour you both so that your scents mimic that of an accepted mating bond,” Rhys elaborated. “Nothing will be permanent.”

“How will pretending to accept the mating bond make things any safer for me?” She now realized why Mor, Amren and Azriel were absent from the meeting. It was another manipulative tactic. As if she would be less angry and more understanding if just her “family” brought up this sensitive topic.

“It’s possible the Autumn Court will target you out, whether because you are Lucien’s proposed mate or because Koschei commanded them to. But if you have actually accepted the mating bond, others will be much more hesitant to mess with you.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Mating bonds are sacred to the Fae. Even the most barbaric of us are hesitant to get between a male and his mate. It will make you seem untouchable.”

It didn’t sound like that to Elain. Since when did males ever stay away from things that didn’t belong to them? If anything, it seemed like yet another target on her back. She was also annoyed that everyone was acting like she needed a male in her life to keep her safe and sound.

“No.”

Everyone blinked in shock.

“I will not,” Elain said. “I may have been captured twice by Hybern, may have offered myself up as bait in this upcoming trap…but I am no damsel in distress. I don’t need a male to protect me.”

“Elain, please,” Nesta begged. “It is just to keep you safe. Truly. Do you despise him so much you are not willing to pretend, even for an evening?”

“I do not despise him,” she said through gritted teeth. “But I will not pretend to feel something that I do not. Will not pretend that we are together just because some stupid Cauldron said so, and because it will make you all feel better.” She was panting now. She could feel the heat begin to spread throughout her body, and she fought to keep it at bay, to cool herself down. Willed her hands not to glow.

“I was thrown into the cauldron, too. Resented it for so long it nearly destroyed me,” Nesta said. “I understand how you are feeling. I really do—”

“No you do NOT!” Elain said. Yelled. “How can you say that? How can you sit there and tell me our trauma is the same! We may have both been thrown in the cauldron, both thrashed and drowned in that burning vat of horror, but our subsequent experiences and adversities have been very, very different. As different as the two of us have always been. And how would any of you even begin to know what I went through? You have never asked. None of you.”

“Elain, we did not want to upset you—” Feyre began.

“Of course you didn’t. No one ever wants to risk rattling weak and fragile Elain. Who knows if it will finally make her fall off the shelf and shatter into a million pieces?”

A stunned silence met her words.

“Maybe we should take a second to calm down,” Cassian said bravely. All three females shot him an icy glare and he sunk lower in his seat, his skin rather ashen.

“Have you even tried to get to know Lucien?” Feyre asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” Elain replied shortly. “He is my friend. But I think it’s important to mention that I do not owe him anything, even friendship. I do not owe him anything, and he does not owe me anything. We are fine with the situation as it is. But that is between us and nobody else."

“Elain,” Nesta said, her voice quiet, “I struggled accepting the bond at first, too. I didn’t want anything the Cauldron gave me, especially not a chosen partner who I barely knew. But…but then I did get to know him. And I fell in love with him not because of any bond, but because he is everything I ever wanted and everything I didn’t know I needed. Sometimes, it just takes time and effort.”

In her heart of hearts, Elain knew her sister was just trying to be helpful. But she was so tired of others assuming that what was best for them was what was best for her.

“That is YOUR love story! Not mine,” she cried. “How can you sit there and tell me this is my decision to make, and then in the same breath turn around and dare to presume what will make me happiest? You got lucky, both of you,” she said to her sisters. “The loves of your life were chosen as your mates, and you were able to seal that bond on your own time, on your own terms. Able to make that decision for yourself. But my mate was thrust at me as quickly and undesirably as this entire godsdamn immortal life!”

She was crying in earnest now, unashamedly, righteously.

“I..I was engaged to a man I loved .” Her voice broke on that last word. “After a lifetime of being treated like a docile pet, favored but never respected, I was finally seen , finally wanted. I had a future that didn’t involve living the rest of my life in your shadow,” she hissed at Nesta, and the dark void in her grumbled in approval at the way her elder sister’s face crumpled.

“You have never lived in my shadow,” Nesta whispered.

“I have,” Elain said, “And you know it. I have never been held to the same level of intelligence and esteem that you hold yourself to—and that others hold you to. Even now, I am the weak sister, the boring sister, the useless sister. The one who went insane after turning Fae and has never quite recovered.” She was breathing so heavily she could feel perspiration forming on the back of her neck. But she was not done. “How is it that none of you have ever asked me about my experience in the Cauldron? How come it is Nesta who gets credit for killing Hybern when if I hadn’t stabbed him in the fucking neck, none of us would even be alive right now? How is it that I have never once been encouraged to learn from my powers before it was absolutely necessary, before there was no other option, before I was a last resort?”

Fury, hot and burning, spread throughout her body, and she fought to keep it at bay, to cool herself down. She closed her eyes and imagined Azriel’s shadows, smooth as silk, sweet as a kiss, caressing her neck. Released a slow breath of air. When she opened her eyes, Nesta was staring at her with tears running down her face. But Elain would not be silenced. Not anymore.

“I have been treated like I am weak and powerless my entire life,” Elain breathed, “And perhaps I am to blame for some of that. For letting it happen without putting up a fight. For letting myself believe I was weak and powerless. But I know better now. So please, stop with the bullshit. I do not need to be protected. I deserve to make my own decisions.”

But then Rhys said the very last thing that would ever calm her down.

“You will always have a choice here,” he said. Like he’d said so many times before.

Elain slowly looked up at him. Her heart was thundering in her chest. She could feel her pulse racing faster than ever before, could feel the red flush of anger that crept along every inch of her skin. Liar .

“Is that so?” She replied coolly. “Before you answer,” she said, as Rhys opened his mouth, uncertainty flashing in his violet eyes, “Remember who I am. Remember what I am. Remember that my power is knowledge. And I know that what you say is a lie. You like to make choices for other people, don’t you, Rhys?”

Rhys had frozen. Beside him, Feyre was glancing at both her mate and her sister in turns, confusion etched across her face.

“Rhys...what is she talking about?” Feyre asked slowly.

Elain stood, and for the first time in her life, she felt powerful. Even in her soft pink gown, even with the flowers braided in her hair, even with her weak muscles and weaker, bleeding, aching heart. The truth was a flame inside of her, and she was burning with it, a fire that could not be put out.

She stared at Rhys with cool, dark eyes, and she knew that he knew. Knew that he was fully aware of the decisions he had made for her and for him . For Azriel.

“You are my High Lord,” she said icily, “And as a member of this Court, I will obey your orders. But I will never trust you again.” Gathering her skirt in her hands, she walked slowly out the doors of the dining room, and didn’t look back as she said, “You should know better than to lie to a seer.”

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (11)

(c!technoblade x fem!reader)

(people showed chapter 10 some nice love so here’s chapter 11. sorry it took so long to get out. I threw my back out and doing just about anything has been physical torture. but I’m starting to feel better so here’s hoping I’ll write more soon. but remember, please comment and reblog. they keep me motivated! <3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things settled down pretty well after the election. Almost unbelievably so. Wilbur pretty much completely disappeared afterwards. You felt worried and voiced your concerns with Niki, saying you hoped he wasn’t terribly upset he’d lost the election. You understand he no doubt felt incredibly attached to the title of president, and he may feel resentful of you for ‘stealing’ it from him. Niki smiled at you, glad you were being kinder about this than the other contestants would be in your shoes, but sighed and said,

“Yeah, he’ll probably be upset for a while. But I’m sure he’ll come around to accept you as the new president.”

You gave her a thankful smile, even if you didn’t quite believe her words. But then you paused and wondered if maybe, despite all your reservations about the brunet man, it was possible to smooth things over with him? Maybe all you needed to do was sit and have a talk with him. Perhaps he’d gone insane in the original timeline because both Schlatt and Quackity were… well, for lack of a nicer term, total dicks to him. They were openly antagonistic to the former president, banishing him and his younger brother from the very nation they fought and died for, which no doubt added to his crumbling mental state after L’manberg chose a new leader.

But maybe you could be different from Schlatt and Quackity. Honestly you had no desire to be cruel to Wilbur, though you would not put up with any of his BS, and honestly you hoped to have a neutral relationship with the man. So you decided right then that there was no harm in trying. Your smile brightened and you nodded and said to the blonde woman,

“You’re probably right, he just needs some time. Maybe after a few days he and I can have lunch and just talk. Clear the air between us. I’ve never been president before so I’m sure he’d be a great help in getting me better settled in!”

Niki was super glad you were being so chill about all of this. She knew you were the best choice for president. That’s probably why she’d voted for you. (yeah she’d heard your little speech and was really moved) But she’d never tell Wilbur that. He fully believed she’d voted for Coconut2020, and to be fair she had intended to until she was so moved by your speech. You had a way with words that just put the listener at ease.

“Yeah, I’m sure things will be alright,” Niki replied with a cheerful smile.

-0-

You settled into being president pretty well all things considered. There wasn’t as much work as you were expecting there to be for a president. But perhaps your only frame of reference (the US president) was a bit different than your current job (l’manberg president). L’manberg was super small actually. Especially compared to the United States. Hell, Punz’ house was almost as big as L’manberg if you remember right. 

You’re glad there wasn’t much presidential work to do at that moment. Because you wouldn’t have had time to juggle that work plus going back to your village and packing up some of your stuff in your ender chest before telling the villagers (and azo) what actually happened while you were gone. Which had been an ordeal in itself. You felt bad for just leaving to a new place so out of the blue. But you felt obligated to complete the role of president given to you. You’d feel less obligated if there was some other option you felt safe passing the torch to. Someone not a child. That left out every minor on this server and Wilbur. 

Part of you considered Fundy and Niki for the job but another part of you doubted if they’d be able to handle it. Honestly they shouldn’t have to either. It’s no secret that being president is one of the most stressful jobs a person can have. Being in charge of the safety and well-being of a group of people is enough to turn anyone’s hair grey. Even if the group was just like 10 or so people like L’manberg had. You remember seeing a post about pictures at the start and end of American presidents’ time in office. And each president looked at least a decade older in each after picture. Complete with wrinkles and grey hair. Those happened in FOUR years! Their jobs were so stressful that they aged 10+ years in only 4 years.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Tommy practically shouting “We’re here!!” as you all made it over the hill that led to your village. The first thing you saw was the towering bamboo wall around the perimeter of the place. You’d been so in your own head that you’d actually forgotten about the two boys on either side of you. They’d insisted they accompany you to your village as ‘presidential bodyguards’ despite the fact you said you would be fine. They’d practically demanded to go, to ensure the ‘new prez’ didn’t get attacked on the journey. Amused and touched that they cared, you’d finally relented and let them come along. You’d only be gone a short while anyways. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

It didn’t take long to pack up everything you wanted to take with you to L’manberg. You put all the nice gifts the villagers gave you (as well as a couple of the banners you made) and some of the stuff you made and packed it away into a shulker box you pulled from the Creative inventory before picking up said box and putting it inside your ender chest. Then you just picked that chest up and tucked it safely in your inventory and you were basically done. With packing anyways.. You still had to talk to the villagers and let them know you had to move away for a while. But you doubted they’d be heartbroken or anything. Maybe bummed out but they’d understand. It’s not like they’d be lost without you. They’d been living in this world long before you showed up and they’d probably be here long after you left.

Then you were ringing the village bell. And like every time you did the villagers all poked their heads out from wherever they were to see who rang it and what was going on. And when they saw you they brightened and hurried over to see what was happening. They gathered around you and the bell, murmuring curiously between themselves. You sighed and cleared your throat, gathering their attention to you before you hesitated, not entirely sure what to say. Should you explain the entire story from start to finish? No, probably not. That would take a while and you felt like they’d get bored fast. But just blurting out that you were leaving felt too abrupt and blunt. Though your indecision ended up not mattering because Tubbo finally lost patience with the silence and just let the metaphorical cat out of the bag in his usual laid back candid way.

“Are you gonna tell them you’re moving away?”

Oh that caught the villagers’ attention and suddenly you were surrounded by displeased grunts and hums, like surround sound stereos. You sighed and confirmed yes, you were. So with the news out there you started explaining what happened the day before, or at least a shortened version of it. You mentioned how you’d gone to support Tommy, placing a hand on his shoulder as you said this. Then you said how you’d sorta advised everyone to vote for who they felt would lead them smartly, and how you guess they took that as you entering the presidential ring.. And finally how you’d won the election by some points and how you’d not wanted to reject their trust so you’d accepted the job…

“Reader is our new president!!” Tommy practically shouted, clearly excited. 

Though from the disgruntled murmurs from the villagers they didn’t seem happy.. But you told them it would be okay. You’d come and visit them as often as you could while juggling your new job. But even with that promise they didn’t seem happy. Your shoulders slumped a bit and without thinking you said,

“I’m not happy about having to leave the village and move away either. But I made a promise to the people of L’manberg, one I intend to keep.” 

Despite not feeling the best about this you were determined to keep your word.

“Besides, it’s not like I can just pack up the village and move you all next to L’manberg!” you said with a flippant wave of your hand.

But the idea didn’t sound too bad to the villagers. They basically worshipped you as their guardian deity. So if loading up all their possessions and hauling them to a new place meant they got to stay within reach of their deity then so be it. They’d still be living in squalor if it hadn’t been for your kindness and generosity, so they wanted to follow you wherever you went. Be it sunny skies, harsh rain, freezing snow. 

So they all made excited grunts and you blinked at them, catching on to their train of thought pretty fast. You shook your head, missing the confused looks the two teen boys were shooting between you and the villagers, and said they couldn’t follow you to L’manberg. Hearing this made the boys’ eyebrows shoot up and they started asking if the villagers wanted to come live in L’manberg. You sighed and said they seemed to, yes, but it wasn’t viable because there was nowhere for them to live! Moving them all on a spur of the moment thing would be reckless. Not only would the journey be very hard on them and take quite a while but there’s also no homes available for them in L’manberg. 

“We could make some houses for them if they want to move to L’manberg!” Tubbo said with a little grin, not seeing the issue with them coming over.

You rubbed a hand down your face, careful not to jostle your mask too much. But then you sighed and finally caved in. 

“Okay, you can all move next to L’manberg,” you began, but before they could cheer you cut them off with, “BUT! They can’t leave today. I refuse to let them take the whole long journey to L’manberg just so they can be homeless when they get there.”

You said you and some others (who you would pay) would build a new village next door to L’manberg for them. And once it was complete you would come back and help ferry them all over safely. But you might have to take them over in small groups to avoid hostile mobs and stuff. Though despite all the risks the villagers seemed quite happy with everything. So you pulled out your notebook, the same one you’d used when you first showed up to the village actually, and made a note to start construction on a new village to either the North or East of L’manberg. Or whatever side had better building room. But now that that all was settled you bid the villagers goodbye, saying you’d start construction as soon as possible.

With that out of the way you decided to pay a visit to Azo. You missed the adorable little piglin and hoped she was doing okay. Your boys followed you into the Nether, asking what you needed from there so badly. That made you pause and realize they’d never officially met Azo! You smiled down at them and said you’d sort of taken up guardianship of a little piglin girl who lost her parents. You’d expected questions and some comments but got nothing but silence in return, which left you feeling a bit confused. But when you glanced over at the boys you saw Tubbo looking lost in thought and Tommy looking mildly upset. This caused you to stop short, which made them pause and look back at you. 

“What’s wrong?” you couldn’t help but ask.

But they both waved you off, Tubbo with a soft ‘what do you mean?’ and Tommy with an almost harsh sounding  ‘nothing’, both of which didn’t sound the least bit convincing. So you tilted your head to the side and in a firmer (but still gentle) tone you asked again what was wrong. Tommy’s nose scrunched up and he crossed his arms, adamantly saying nothing and asking if you all could hurry up and see ‘this kid’ since you had to hurry back to L’manberg. Tubbo tried to piggyback off Tommy, his smile attempting to be brighter as he agreed, saying he wanted to meet your ‘new kid’. That’s when it hit you..

“Are you two upset that I adopted a kid?”

Tommy wasn’t very subtle with his feelings, his loud “WHAT?! NO!” didn’t convince you of his supposed ‘uncaring’ regarding the situation. Tubbo however reacted slower than his friend, like he was processing what you’d asked before he gave a laugh that sounded too stilted to be genuine and denied being upset, saying that was ridiculous. Tommy actually started walking away, heading in the direction you three had followed when you were together here last time, with the goatish brunet watching him anxiously. But you called for him to stop and come back, maybe a touch sterner than you’d wanted. But when the blond came back to you he refused to look at you, just scowling down at his feet. You felt your heart ache at the sight and let out a calm breath.

You wrapped one arm around the blond’s shoulders and the other around his back, pulling him into a comforting hug. You laid your cheek on the top of his mop of hair, glancing down at Tubbo who was shifting between watching you both and glancing away nervously. Without much thought you removed the hand holding Tommy’s back and instead used it to carefully tug the brunet boy into the hug. They just stood there at first, still and awkward almost. But once Tubbo wrapped his arms around your hips and Tommy’s back his blond friend quickly caved and sunk into your warmth, wrapping his arms around you both tightly, like he was afraid you’d both disappear. 

You took a breath and gently began to rock the two back and forth, missing how Tommy’s eyes pricked with hot tears as he heard your steady heartbeat against his ear. After a couple minutes of just standing there relaxed into the hug you said quietly but with as much emotion as you could put into it,

“Tommy, Tubbo, please talk to me. I can do many things, but reading minds is not one of them.”

You felt your shirt become warm and you frowned and hugged them tighter,

“If something is bothering you two, if you’re sad or upset or angry then you need to tell me so I can maybe do something to make you feel better. I never wanna see either of you upset, so please… talk to me?”

The air around you three was unintentionally heavy, only the sound of fire crackling nearby broke up the silence. It was killing you to remain quiet but you didn’t want to push them to speak. That would just make them clam up and possibly push you away. So you waited, just holding and rocking them as you did. And your eyes brightened when your patience was rewarded.

“.... Why’d you have to go and get a kid?”

You half expected for Tommy to be the one to break the silence, he was always so against the quiet. But no, instead it had been Tubbo who finally buckled and voiced his thoughts. You couldn’t help but ask what he meant. And he sort of stuttered over his words, not sounding exactly sure what he wanted to say before he got his thoughts and mouth to cooperate.

“I thought you already-.. I mean you have us.. Why’d you-..”

If your heart could physically break like glass then you knew after hearing that it would be in a hundred pieces on the floor. You couldn’t help but pull them closer and bury your face between theirs, unknowingly letting out a softened keening sound. 

“I want you both to listen, just because I take another child under my wing doesn’t mean I no longer care about you two. I don’t think I could ever stop caring about you. You’re my boys, and I-....” here is where you hesitated, not wanting so sound weird but you continued,

“If you both want… I mean since neither of you have one to my knowledge… I’d happily be your mom.”

Shy isn’t exactly how you’d describe the two boys you’d begun to care for, but there was no other word accurate enough to describe how they agreed to your offer to be their mom. Tubbo gave an almost meek, “alright, sure” while holding onto your waist and Tommy gave a long-suffering sigh while trying to discreetly wipe his eyes and said, “I guess you’re cool enough to be my mum. Barely though.” That caused you to let out a loud guffaw, your grip on them loosening enough to where you could ruffle the blond’s hair.

“Ohhhhh, Big man himself thinks I’M cool? Very high praise~”

The heavy atmosphere lightened and your laughter had the two boys laughing too. But then a sly grin took over your face and you chuckled. The sound alerted the boys of your mischievous mood and they looked up when you started talking.

“Well, now that you’ve accepted me as your mom I’m legally obligated to do all sorts of ‘Mom Stuff’, I hope you realize that. Like making sure you both eat things besides bread and meat, make sure you sleep regularly, and do the spit thing when you’ve got dirt on your face.”

They gave you a look that was a mixture of confusion and mild disgust, and Tommy couldn’t help but blurt out,

“What the fuck do you mean by ‘spit thing’??”

Unbeknownst to him, he’d activated your Mom Trap Card and your grin grew into a smirk and you raised your hand, casually commenting that he seemed to have a bit of dirt on his cheek, and then you licked your thumb and moved it towards his face. He shrieked and practically threw himself backwards to avoid your spit covered finger. But you still had your arm around his shoulders so he didn’t get far. He rapidly screamed out a verbal blur of ‘nonononoNONONO!’ that had Tubbo nearly doubling over, howling with laughter.

Though his laughter abruptly cut off with a gasp when Tommy escaped your hold, causing you to turn your sights on him. He let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like the bleat of a goat before turning and running from you. You just cackled and chased after him, your longer legs giving you the advantage. You caught up with him before he knew it and lifted him in a backwards hug. Now it was Tommy’s turn to laugh at Tubbo.

But you did let him down, without cleaning his face, and smiled down at the pair and said sincerely,

“All joking aside… I think you two would make a cool pair of big brothers..”

Tommy took that and ran with it, saying of COURSE he would be! He was practically Tubbo’s big brother already! Which just caused Tubbo to argue with him that uh, NO, he was older than Tommy! So HE was the older brother out of the two of them, if anything! And oh boy that caused them both to go back and forth, arguing about who was the ‘older brother’ between them. Tubbo insisted it was him because he was born first but Tommy insisted it was him because he was taller. You just shook your head and led the bickering duo down the familiar path to Azo’s little ‘house’ you built her. And as you reached the open area you saw her outside the house playing with a couple other baby piglins. But when she looked up and saw you she squealed happily and all but sprinted over to you. You made sure to bend down and hold your hands out to catch her. 

She was so excited to see you again that she totally missed the two boys standing at your sides. At least until she heard them and then she stiffened and stared down at Tubbo from her place in your arms. Neither boy really knew what to say so you decided to intervene and put out introductions. You tapped her hand and smiled down at her, helping her worry ease a bit.

“Azo, I missed you! I want to introduce you to my sons! This,” you gestured to Tubbo, “is Tubbo. And this,” you turned your head and pointed to the blond on the other side, “is Tommy. They’re both very nice. And they wanted to meet you!”

You turned so you and Azo were both facing the boys and saw them smiling genuinely. Relief flooded you, thinking they were actually glad to meet the little piglin, unaware the smiles were more stemming from the fact you’d called them your sons so easily.

But you saw the wariness still on Azo’s face and worried she’d not like her new brothers. Suddenly you got a bright idea and your smile widened as you spoke up and said, 

“Hey, don’t you two have a gift for Azo? Maybe something yellow and shiny~?”

Tubbo’s mouth dropped down into an ‘o’ as he realized what you meant. Then he elbowed Tommy and then pulled open his inventory and started looking through it. Tommy glared at him, moving his arm away after getting jabbed, but then his eyebrows raised when he saw his best friend pull out a gold ingot from his inventory. Then he understood what you meant and hurried to look through his inventory as well. Thankfully he did have some gold ingots leftover from when he was crafting golden apples.

Azo perked up when she saw the gold ingot Tubbo had taken from his inventory. And when he offered it to her she couldn’t hold back the happy snort she let out as she joyfully accepted it. You giggled at how she admired the saffron colored bar. And when Tommy extended his own gold ingot you laughed when Azo’s little tail began to swish back and forth in glee as she took that one too. She looked so cute as she admired her new items. You rubbed her back and said,

“See? They’re pretty nice, right? Why don’t we go have something to eat? And we can hang out.”

The tiny piglin seemed more than happy with that plan and snorted happily. You carried her towards the house, her little friends having long since scurried off. The teens behind you followed your lead, joining you in the house. You sat Azo down and suggested she show off her toys to Tubbo and Tommy, which she started doing gladly. The two played with her while you brewed some tea and crafted some cookies. Chilled rosehip tea and shortbread cookies were on the menu and after it was all done you laid it out on the table before calling them over. The boys were all too happy for the chilly drink, the cold giving them reprieve from the heat of the Nether. But Azo was shocked by the cold, not having experienced something like this before. It took a bit of explanation to get her to give it a try, and despite how it made her shiver she seemed to really like it. And cookies were always popular. So the plate was emptied in a flash.

As you sat with the three, listening to Tommy brag to Azo about how ‘cool and tough’ he was and how he’s practically a hero in the Overworld while Tubbo interjected with contradictions, you felt yourself smile serenely; truly happy where you were right then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant @thegeekisheere @sparkling-gayyy @woman-soot @xxtwizztedxx @v10dw4lk3r

[omorimewo]

How do you think the group reacted seeing the aftermath of the...fight? I'm not sure if I can say the spoilers

Hey there :) I’m gonna tag this for spoilers. I’ve actually been thinking about this so much, I think I’m gonna write it into a fully-fledged fic. I’ll make sure to link it on here! But here are a couple headcanons I have for it meanwhile!

I think Sunny is so apologetic and heartbroken from everything that’s happened, that their first instinct is to just hug him

At least, that’s the case for Kel and Aubrey

Hero can’t move 

Once the information really starts to process, they’re all in complete shock

More than anything, Aubrey feels horrible for Sunny and Basil and wants to be there for them

She knows how it feels to fuck up and almost hurt someone you care about

She just got lucky that, when she pushed Basil into the lake, the consequences weren’t irreparable 

She can only imagine the guilt and trauma that her two friends are feeling and all she wants to do is make up for the time that she had abandoned them

Although things don’t fully go back to normal between Sunny, Basil, and Aubrey, it’s clear that they still all care a lot about each other

Aubrey starts saying hi to Basil at school and telling everyone to stop bullying him or else they’ll have to go through her

Slowly but surely, she starts inviting Basil to hang out with her group and with Kel

As for her relationship with Sunny, they don’t keep in close touch daily but see each other often when Sunny visits Faraway Town

It doesn’t take long for them to become friends again

Kel also feels sympathy for Sunny and Basil, but feels really betrayed for being lied to

He thought that these were people he could trust and who understood all the pain he had been going through the last few years

He was so happy that they had all gotten close again, only for it to end in this betrayal

Similar to Aubrey, he would ultimately forgive them since he knows he has to be there for them in order to be friends again

He doesn’t want them to abandon each other

But he’s also really sensitive to Hero, who is absolutely heartbroken

I think Hero takes it the worst, at least at first

Hero loved Mari so much, he was convinced he was gonna marry her

When she died, it was like his world came crashing down. He had no sense of direction because so much of his life was planned around his future with Mari

When he first hears the news, he feels like he needs to get away and leaves the room to compose himself

It feels like the wound that he’d been attempting to heal for four years just reopened and became even deeper

It takes him a while to come back to the room. He needs to calm down and breath since it feels like his world got destroyed again

At first he’s so mad at Sunny and Basil that he’s convinced he won’t hold back punching them if he goes back in there

He’s literally shaking with anger and he’s scared he won’t be able to control himself

He doesn’t understand how someone could do that to his Mari, and he feels like the rest of the group doesn’t understand because they didn’t love her nearly as much as he does

But after Kel comes to get him a while later and calms him down, he realizes it’s just not true

And he also realizes that what Sunny and Basil did was nothing more than an accident, a mistake that anyone could make at the age of 12 

He remembers what he said the night before when they were sleeping over at Basil’s house-- that abandoning each other was the worst thing they could have done after Mari died, and that they couldn’t do it again

He realizes that, as hurt as he is, he still feels that way

He also remembers how much Mari adored Sunny, and because of that how much he himself adored Sunny

Sunny was probably in the most pain right now, knowing that he was the cause for his sister’s death

And Basil was hurt too, constantly regretting a mistake that he made as a complete child 

After wiping away his tears, he and Kel go back inside and decide to make amends the best they can

By no means does the dynamic go back to normal though

They forgive Sunny and Basil, but letting it go is too painful to do right away

Especially after Sunny moves and the distance between him and everyone increases again

Sunny and Basil keep in close contact, talking almost every day since they’re basically the only people who can understand one another

Sunny’s relationship with Kel and Aubrey improves each time he’s able to come back and visit Faraway Town, since seeing each other in person almost feels like old times again

After a few times of seeing each other, Kel and Aubrey have forgiven Sunny and Basil (but haven’t forgotten)

The relationship could never go back to how it was, but they still care about each other so much and want to protect each other from all the pain they’ve been carrying for four years

Hero is the hardest to get close to again, especially because he is home so rarely

Sunny makes a point of visiting town whenever Hero comes home from college, but even then there’s a distance

Hero tries to force himself to make it go away, since he knows how much Mari would have wanted him to take care of Sunny

But it definitely takes time

Sunny ends up willing himself to call Hero one day while he’s at college and the two talk on the phone for hours about everything they’d gone through

After this, their relationship improves significantly

Hero realizes that Sunny is all that is left of Mari and that they need to be there for each other in order to move on from this trauma 

[joyfulhopelox]

The Weasel and The Serpent

Summary: When Yoongi, a halfblood, enters Hogwarts he lies about being a pureblood and is welcomed into the elite of the Slytherin House. Yoongi spends the whole of his school life upholding this lie, terrified of being exposed. Until one day, Jimin's cousin, the loud and rambunctious Y/N enters his life and gradually breaks down the walls that he had tried so hard to build. Can the weasel and the serpent learn to co-exist?

Pairing: Slytherin!Yoongi x reader (Hogwarts!au)

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: light swearing

Word count: 13.2k

Rating: pg

A/N: Welcome to the first instalment of the Hogwarts for @homeofbangtan collab!

I want to thank everyone in the collab for being amazing and patient and incredibly lovely! @mochi-molala for being the catalyst of this fic, @min-yoon-kween for being an amazing support and beta reader and @ttaetae for this amazing banner. @delacyrose224 @alpacaparkaseok @joheunsaram @sunshinejunghoseokie @ggukcangetit for being an amazing squad!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox

As always please leave feedback and/or talk to me as i love to hear from you! Enjoy <3

Who would have thought you would end up here? Knees bruised on the cold wet tiles, bent over, heartbroken and desperate. If at the beginning of the year someone would have said you’d be in this position, you would’ve laughed at them. But there you were, on your knees, watching helplessly, as the person that had become your everything suffering on the wet bathroom floor. The mournful sobs wrecking his body echoed through you, rendering you speechless. If it weren’t for the fact that it was Yoongi’s sobs you were witnessing, you would’ve thought it was Moaning Myrtle doing her usual rounds in the bathroom.

You willed yourself to move. The sound of your robes trailing through the murky water were muffled by the anguished cries and heart wrenching sobs. You felt powerless and it scared you. The feeling gripped at your heart tighter and tighter until you felt like you could not breathe.

How ironic is it, you thought, that when you first met him you were in the exact same position that he was in now. Yet, at the time, he knew exactly what to tell you, as if you’d been friends for a long time. This trait he possessed; the ability to read someone so well and yet be so detached from everyone, had made him popular in your year.

Everyone liked Yoongi, his aloof personality a complete contrast from his soft looks. With his coal black hair and pale white skin a contradiction to his soft lips and plump cheeks, it was hard to not be intrigued by him. Yet, for some reason you chose to keep him at an arm’s length. He became your cousin’s friend quite quickly. It was Park’s gift; having the ability to make friends and break hearts left and right. However, being the rising star of the Slytherin house, he made enemies just as quickly. But the relationship between him and Yoongi developed so quickly, you didn’t even see it coming. One day Jimin was loitering around the corridors being his dramatic self with only Taehyung to keep him in check. Next you run into him and Taehyung and Yoongi. They were whispering secretively to each other and you couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to intervene.

“Oi, Cocky Park, why are you acting like a bunch of gossip girls?” you shouted at him across the corridor. The three of them jumped apart in surprise and glanced at you, each face looking similar to a kid’s having been caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Satisfied at the reaction you got, you sauntered over to them.

“So, what’s the deal?” your grin intensified when Jimin’s flustered face morphed into an annoyed one. It meant you had done your job. You were cousins on your father’s side, but in reality you acted more like siblings. You grew up together, always around each other, your father and his attending meetings together. So of course in true sibling fashion, it was necessary to rile up the other.

Taehyung glanced at the both of you, knowing that if he did not intervene there would be bloodshed. “Hey, Y/N, uhhhh, we were just talking” he tried to distract you from the situation at hand. You tapped your foot impatiently, an eyebrow raised unimpressed and urged him to continue. “About what?”

Before Taehyung could say anything, Jimin stepped up, “Nothing that concerns you lesser Park, so run along to your clique” he smirks at you, his hand gesture dismissing you. You huff in annoyance.

“Cocky Park!” You warn glaring at him stepping closer to his frame. He was by no means tall, only a few inches taller than you, and you liked to remind him of that every single day knowing that it drove him up the wall. “I’ll tell mother about that one time you set the family portrait on fire just because-” Jimin instantly covered your mouth, not wanting to be exposed in front of his friends like that.

“Ok ok ok, enough,” He pleaded, your laugh muffled and your eyes displaying the satisfaction you felt at his distress. You had won this battle and you savoured every moment of it. “Take a chill pill J-Park.” Noticing the third person next to the double trouble of the Slytherin house you paused. “Oh, new friends?” You pointed towards the silent man behind them. During the whole interaction between the three of you he hadn’t said anything, his dark eyes meticulously observing the scene before him.

You decided it was rude of you to not introduce yourself. You may have a loud personality and be opinionated to the point of aggression sometimes but you couldn’t forget the etiquette that your parents instilled in you. Especially in front of a fellow Slytherin, so with a confident grin you stepped around the two clowns of the house and extended your hand out.

“I’m Y/N.” The stranger looked wearily at your hand before hesitantly extending his. You don’t wait for his hand to reach yours, grabbing it mid rise and waiting for him to tell you his name. Only for a drawn out silence to ensue. You give his cold hand a small encouraging squeeze, urging him to say something. Noticing the shift in atmosphere Jimin stepped up next to you grabbing your forearm.

“Y/N, Yoongi. Yoongi, Y/N” he quickly said whilst pulling your hand away from the hold. You eye your cousin suspiciously but decide to not say anything. Instead you look at Yoongi and offer him what you hope is a friendly smile. “ Nice to meet you Yoongi. Well I have to go back now, I have practice” you turn on your heels prepared to leave. But before you could rush off you stop abruptly as if you’ve remembered something. Turning back, you point to Yoongi’s hands, making the boy take a small step back at your abruptness. “Make sure to wear gloves Yoongi, it may still be autumn but the castle is cold and your hands are freezing.” With a wink you then turn your attention towards Jimin, pointing threateningly at him.

“And you, you better not be late for practice, Outdated Park. We can’t afford to lose in front of Jeon again so get your ass on the pitch on time or I'll tell Sunny about your massive-“ Jimin’s cheeks turned red instantly and he almost shoves you down the corridor desperate to not let you finish that sentence.

“I get it, now move your troublesome ass out of here,” he pleaded. Laughing you wave at the three of them one more time before you rush down the corridor to meet up with the rest of the Quidditch team.

That was the first time you saw Yoongi, not as tragic as the second time; where he stumbled upon you in a dimly lit corridor. You took refuge there after receiving an unsettling letter from your parents. Said letter, now suspiciously damp, dangled from your hands when he found you. Even though your face showed no sign of distress, if there was someone who could read emotions well it would’ve been apparent. Yoongi was that someone.

He approached you silently, cautiously. As if he was afraid his presence would set off the feelings you were trying so hard to suppress. He observed your blank face for a second, his face not giving away any of his thoughts. You knew he was there and yet, you did not move. You couldn’t, the fear and pain gripping at your heart making you immobile. The letter you had just read replayed in your mind constantly.

‘Our daughter,

As this year happens to be the last year of your studies, we have decided that it is time for us to think about your future. Your father and I have decided that once you have finished your exams you shall be coming back home to Murkwood Manor where you will be spending the summer attending galas thrown by esteemed families. We are pleased to have come to the conclusion that for your sake and progress into the pureblood society, a convenient marriage is the best option and what better place to find such connections than there?

We hope that you can see how much we are thinking about you and understand our worries about your future.

Your everloving parents.’

You tried to forget the words staining the white paper, but it proved to be difficult. You knew the day would come, you and Jimin having been primed for this since you were children. Unlike Jimin, who would have more freedom of choice as he was to inherit his parents’ manor, you were doomed to enter an arranged marriage. As a pureblood it had always been your duty. Before you understood what that meant, as a romantic, you used to be excited at that prospect. Your brain came up with scenarios similar to ones in books about wizards in arranged marriages and living happily ever after.

Once you grew up, the excitement morphed into apprehension. The prospect of being tied to someone you did not willingly choose was daunting. To receive a letter informing you of your imminent fate crushed you.

Yoongi let out a soft breath, the sound loud enough to break the silence between the two of you. You knew you had to acknowledge him and yet, you could not bring yourself to. You barely knew each other, but as soon as he crouched next to your slumped form, a hesitant hand reaching out for yours the dam broke. You didn’t know or care if his touch was the push you needed or if the tumultuous feelings running through you became too much. You let yourself weep, not caring about the man tightening his grip on your hand witnessing it.

Normally your mother’s voice would be ringing in your head, telling you that your behaviour was unladylike, that someone of your status should not act like this. But the cold touch enveloping your trembling hand offered you the comfort you needed to let go.

Though only a few minutes had passed they felt like an eternity to you, your violent sobs dissolving into sniffles, too tired to carry on. Unknowingly, your hand sought out the reassurance of Yoongi’s hand, your fingers now intertwined. He let you cry it out, not saying a word, but his mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. Had he not been an expert at hiding his feelings, you would have been able to see the sadness he felt displayed across his face. He could not fathom why you would be sitting on the stone cold ground, knees drawn to your chest, shivering and looking so...broken.

When your sniffles ceased you looked up at him, your face red and blotchy from crying. He didn’t ask, his understanding eyes only watched you as you tried to gather your thoughts. He didn’t ask and yet, you couldn’t help but tell him. Tell him of the fate that waited for you once you graduated. There was something about the way he looked at you, a comfort you found in his gentle gaze that you couldn’t help yourself. Hiccuping you let it all spill out, his grasp on your hands becoming your strength to carry on.

“Your parents don’t define who you are, you define who you are. Whatever you are feeling, going through and your future, your parents will not be with you forever. And if you spend most of your time pleasing them, when they are gone you will start resenting everything that you have become.”

With that Yoongi wordlessy let go of your hand and slipped out of the bathroom leaving you with a tear stained grubby face slumped on the bathroom floor.

For a few days after that you tried avoiding Yoongi like the plague. Too embarrassed at your outburst you found yourself leaving the Great Hall when he would enter, turning your head the other way when you happened to make eye contact in class and avoiding any conversation that brought him up. If anyone noticed your odd behaviour towards him they did not say a word. He didn’t try to approach you, and no one in your House mentioned anything about it, and so after that first week you relaxed. Your cousin, however, did notice and when he tried to approach you about it you dismissed it as not having enough free time with the Quidditch game around the corner.

“Y/N, you do know I am on the same team as you right?” Jimin’s use of your full name indicated he was serious about the conversation. Sighing your shoulders slumped, you were feeling tired of hiding around. After letting it all out in front of Yoongi, it felt like all your body wanted to do was shout out to the world how exhausted you were of being a member of a pureblood family. No one would understand you better than Jimin would.

“I’m just tired, Chim.” Jimin faltered, his seriousness melted into worry at the sound of your voice. You sounded meek, the exhaustion clear on your face. Jimin was never one for emotional display, but he was your cousin, he was your family, he was like your brother. He offered you the comfort that you sought, placing his arms around you. You didn’t wait for him to speak, the unasked question hanging above you like the ghosts roaming around the castle.

“I’m getting married.” At your words you felt Jimin stiffen. He knew what you were talking about, it was a long tradition in pureblood families. Arranged marriages were not uncommon, if only to keep the bloodline pure; so it was only a matter of time before this happened to you as well. He was lucky, as the male of the family, he had more freedom than you but that also didn’t mean he could marry just anyone. “Who?” Was all he asked and you took a moment to recollect yourself, wondering if the mention of the rival School in the tournament would be a bad idea. “Who, Y/N?”

You stepped away from him, your eyes glossy with unshed tears. “Someone from Beauxbatons. I don’t even know his face. Just his name. And I am supposed to live the rest of my life with this person.” You felt the tears gather in your eyes but you knew you couldn’t cry. Even if it was just Jimin, the rest of the courtyard was completely void of students, your pride stopped you from letting all your emotions flow. Yoongi caught you at your most vulnerable and since that day you swore to yourself you would never let it happen again. If anyone were to witness it and your parents to get wind of it, you would be reprimanded, possibly even punished.

Jimin felt the shift in you, your vulnerable demeanour instantly covered up by a cold emotionless wall. He tried to say something, anything to prevent that shift but he couldn’t bring himself to. He understood why you would do that; as a pureblood the expectation to be impeccable was high, and the slightest slip would end in punishment. Not wanting to push you towards an emotional breakdown he did what he normally did best and distracted you from your misery. Gripping your shoulders he smirked at you, “come on Park 2.0, we need to get on that pitch today and win.”

The sight of the Quidditch pitch along with your peers cheering and chanting, instantly calmed you. This was your home, on your broom, ready to kick some ass. Today was the game against the Gryffindor team and the contrast between the green of your House and the red of Gryffindor House formed an enchanting colour palette. The Team Captain was yelling instructions left and right, discussing the strategy once more but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to be up in the air and hit a few Bludgeons to vent your frustrations out. As soon as your Team is given the go ahead you kick off onto your broom. The feel of the air brushing your face and the sound of your teammates yelling encouragement to each other giving you the adrenaline that you needed to get your head in the game.

The chants fuelled you, dodging a Bludger here, slamming your bat into it, sending it into the direction of a chaser, your head never left the game. The dynamics of the group, the teamwork, they all made you proud to be part of the team. From time to time, your eyes would wander towards the bleachers, taking in the crowd. Your fellow Slytherins were cheering as loudly as they could, chanting everyone’s name. You rolled your eyes, of course the loudest yells would come from the Gryffindor side. Kim Seokjin and Jeon Jungkook were favourites and so, their names would be on every lion’s lips. A quick break from the referee allowed you to catch your breath, high fiving with your fellow beater. You were crushing this. Taking in a deep gulp of air to calm down your heartbeat you scanned the crowd once again, only to make eye contact with a dark haired Slytherin who seemed to be watching you intently. You smiled hesitantly, confused at his presence, Yoongi had never been the one to watch the Quidditch games, but his presence gave you confidence that everything would be alright.

The game wasn’t going in your favour, Gryffindor had a good chance at winning, everyone on the edge of their seats for the end of the match. Suddenly you saw Jimin and Jungkook diving towards the ground, neck to neck and you knew that they'd spotted the Snitch. Breath caught in your throat, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Jimin turns at the last minute, rising back up leaving Jungkook behind. In his hand he held the Snitch. The triumphant yell of the crowd switches from the Slytherin crowd towards the Gryffindor team and you lower your head dejected. Jimin may have caught the Snitch, but Gryffindor House had already won enough points to win the game without it. Sighing you turned towards your team, their hopelessness could be felt throughout the pitch. It wasn’t their fault, they’d played a good game, so in an attempt to cheer them up you started clapping. Soon, the crowd all caught onto what you were doing and joined in and quickly, what could have turned into a disastrous end for the team morale ended up quite the opposite. You turned yourself towards the crowd, the smile on your face widening at the sight of your fellow Slytherins cheering for you. In that moment you swore you didn’t look through the crowd for a particular person, but your eyes found his and your grin widened. Yoongi was clapping along with everyone else, his reassuring gaze never leaving yours. Suddenly you didn’t feel like you lost anymore, instead, you felt like a winner.

Under normal circumstances, the days after the game were the hardest to endure. This time however, the atmosphere felt lighter than even before the match. After the game ended and the team went back to change out of their uniform, your Team Captain held a speech about pride and defeat. That, along with the cheers from the crowd, lessened the sting of the loss and you promised yourselves that you will do better for the next one. However, classes and your professors waited for no one. With only a few weeks left until Christmas break the number of assignments kept rising, and the pressure of your N.E.W.Ts looming above your head forced you to spend every possible waking moment inside the library, your head stuck in a book. Despite being a Slytherin and not a Ravenclaw, you did enjoy studying. You were never alone whilst in there, especially now that Jimin and that Hufflepuff were spending more and more time in the library together. You got first hand experience of their budding relationship. Both of them being very much interested, yet both of them being very much oblivious.

It was during one of those days in the library when Yoongi approached you. The library was already full with students trying to cram a last minute essay. You were no better, your Potions essay due that afternoon, you tried to get as much done as possible. Writing about the properties of Amortentia was not a pleasant experience. Scribbling furiously, you bit your lip in concentration, not even noticing the silent dark haired man that sat down in front of you.

“You’re going to break your quill if you carry on writing like that.” His remark made you jump out of your skin, dropping your quill to the ground and knocking your ink over the sides of the table in the process. “Ah, shit.” You muttered as you tried to blot your parchment with your robes. Yoongi jumped out of the seat, hurrying to help you salvage your work, muttering his apologies to you incessantly. “It’s okay, no problem.” You smiled at him, you were not really upset, you knew your essay could be done better and maybe a restart is what you needed. “You actually did me a favour.” Confused, Yoongi glanced at your paper. “Isn’t it due today?” He motioned towards how much you’ve written, “and that looks like a lot of research to me.” Waving him off you sat back down and got out another piece of parchment.

“It wasn’t that good to begin with. Potions is not my strongest suit so I could probably do with rewriting it. There’s only so much, ‘and boom they fall in love’ that you can describe.” You laughed at Yoongi’s expression. He looked offended at your statement, and you took the time to admire his expressions. Never one to express too many feelings, at least not in your presence, it felt like a breath of fresh air. You couldn’t help but wonder what caused the change in behaviour. “Wait, a Slytherin, not good at Potions?” He mock gasped at you and you laughed. He looked a lot younger, freer this way and you couldn’t help but take in this carefree Yoongi. As you stared at the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled; his wide grin making his round cheeks puff out, you felt your heart speed up, and butterflies start fluttering in your stomach. “I know right?!” You carried on with his joke, not wanting this lighthearted atmosphere to end. “Appalling.” He nodded trying to look serious. You tried to hold in your laugh but when your eyes met, you couldn’t stop yourselves and burst out laughing.

“Shhhhhh.” The angry librarian loomed over the both of you and you bowed your heads in apology still trying to stifle your laughter. “Well, that is that… now you know my darkest secret.” So absorbed in getting your books together, you didn’t notice the way Yoongi stiffened. “I am bad at Potions, and it’s my final year and there is no way I can do anything about it now.” When you carried on, Yoongi relaxed a small smile thrown into your direction. “Would….you don’t have to, but would you like some help? I may not be the best….” You perked up instantly as soon as he said that, not even letting him finish you quickly grabbed his hand and nodded. “Nonsense. You are one of the best in our year!” You noticed the slight redness that crept up Yoongi’s cheeks and you smirked. “And I heard that you are going to be interning for the Auror Office at the end of school! I would be honoured if you helped me!” Sensing his hesitation, you paused for a second, trying to think of a way to make him feel more comfortable about it when an idea suddenly hit you. “How about an exchange?” You looked at him hopefully, his eyes roaming over your face trying to understand what you were proposing. “As in, is there anything that you may need help with?” You clarified and Yoongi nodded, finally understanding what you meant. He didn’t reply for a while and you started to get uncomfortable under his gaze. Shifting uneasily in your seat you cleared your throat, “of course, you don’t have to, I just thought it may make things a lot fairer if-”

“Defence” Yoongi interrupted abruptly. You stared at him for a second before your baffled expression turned into a smile. “Deal.” You took the deal, even though you knew very well that Yoongi was more than good at the subject, having managed to be one of the few people who could produce a Patronus in class. Deciding not to mention having observed his wispy Weasel Patronus almost starting to attack your Serpent one, you nodded at him extending your hand to seal the deal. Startled, Yoongi took a glance at your hand before hesitantly grabbing it. His warm hand enveloped yours and you gripped it, immediately finding comfort in his warm grip. Staring at each other for a second, the silence that settled over you wasn’t uncomfortable. There was a remnant of something that felt overlooked, as if there was something left unsaid between the two of you. Yoongi opened his mouth and your breath caught in your throat.

“Oi, Park!” Your cousin’s voice broke the comfortable bubble that you and Yoongi were in and you immediately dropped your hand on the table, pretending nothing had happened. You knew Jimin, and you knew he would not let you live it down if he noticed the position you and his friend were in. You schooled your face in a sneer and turned towards your obnoxious family member. “What Outdated Park?” You sneered at him, annoyed, then settled your eyes on the person hiding behind him. Sunny looked uncomfortable, so to ease the tension you smiled at her. It wasn’t that you didn’t like her, yet, you would not go out of your way to get to know her. “Are you ready for the Yule Ball?” Jimin airly said, dropping his arm over Sunny’s shoulder in such a casual way you could tell it was something he did often. At the thought of the Yule Ball, your mood instantly soured. Jimin knew there was no way you were excited about it, you glanced at Yoongi, who was doing his best to look at anyone but you. “Uhm, yeah, I guess.” You shrugged, the disappointment in our voice quite obvious.Yoongi chanced a glance at you, and you smiled sadly at him. “We will have to wait and see.” You broke eye contact, turning around to look back at Jimin, whose sympathetic eyes took in the interaction between you and his friend.

Yoongi felt his heart drop and his hand twitched. The sadness that he could read in your eyes made him want to grab your hand again, to reassure you, yet he stopped himself. He was nothing for you, and he could never be something. He would just stay as a friend and tutor, even though all he wanted to do was ask you to be his partner for the dance.

Staring at yourself in the mirror you took a deep breath in, your hands twitched at your sides. You were trying hard to not wipe them on your ball gown, your parents would kill you if you appeared less than perfect in front of anyone. Yoongi’s words rang loud and clear in your head. Refusing to acknowledge the truth of his statement you focused on your appearance once again. Tonight, you would be meeting your fiance officially - the thought as appealing as that one time you fell off the broom during the match against the Gryffindor team. You threw one more glance at yourself in the mirror before you acknowledged your friends calling your name.

“Coming! Wands out your asses.” You walk out of the dormitory into the Common Room. The dark atmosphere broken by the languid emerald flames coming from the fireplace, enhancing your satin dress. The lights caught in the folds of it giving it the fluidity of a crystal clear lake, the silver diamond like colour reflecting the green sheen cast around the room.

“Y/N, you have outdone yourself. Your partner is extremely lucky.” Your heart sped up at the thought of having to face your supposed arranged marriage partner. After you received your letter and had your emotional slip-up, you’d pushed the thought of your future fiance to the back of your brain. However, what you hadn’t realised was that with the Tournament happening at Hogwarts this year, you were going to meet your future husband sooner than intended. A pureblood from Beauxbatons; he was amongst the students chosen to be part of the visiting party. So, it didn’t surprise you when one afternoon, during your study session with your friends, he approached you. After he introduced himself, he immediately asked you to be his partner for the Yule Ball. No one else had dared to ask you to the Ball. Mouth agape you struggled to respond to him, knowing full well you couldn’t refuse, when you spotted Jimin and Yoongi making their way towards you.

“Hey Annoying Park.” Jimin greeted you, but at the sight of your discombobulated expression his face darkened, and he glanced between you and the Beauxbatons guy. “Who are you?” He narrows his eyes at the stranger and you would’ve laughed at his crassness if not for the conflicted feelings coursing through you. A small cough behind Jimin caught your attention and your eyes made contact with Yoongi’s. He shifted under your gaze as if uncomfortable and a sudden rush of embarrassment came over you. There was no reason to be ashamed of the situation you were in. Your future fiance had asked you to a ball, it was a perfectly normal situation. Nonetheless, the thought of Yoongi witnessing it made you squirm.

The tension was so thick you felt as if you were trapped in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. The Beauxbatons student took a step forwards, placing himself in front of you in a protective manner. “Luc Millefeuille the Third.” He announced proudly, puffing his chest. Yoongi stiffened drastically at the name. He had heard it before, in newspapers. His great grandfather, the famous patissiere, was known for the serial mass poisoning of a group of muggles. The thought of you being chained to such a name made his skin crawl. If Jimin recognised the name he didn’t show it, instead he eyed the male with a steel gaze. “Nice to meet you.” Glancing at you he motioned with his head. “Red, we have practice to go to.” Taking the chance to get out of the situation you mumbled a goodbye to Luc before you hurried after Jimin.

In the end, Luc cornered you once more and you had no choice but to agree. Your parents were bound to have some harsh words for you if they found out you refused him. You knew of the family name, Jimin had made you aware of it. Despite your inherited indifference towards muggles, the thought of mass murder disgusted you. You didn’t know what your parents were planning and you couldn’t find out as your letters home had not been replied to.

“Y/N, are you ready?” You snapped out of your reverie. Turning to look at your friends, your smile grim, you nodded at them. “Yes, I guess so.” Patting your skirts once more you prepared to exit the dungeons just as the entrance opened, revealing a dashing Yoongi dressed in black robes, with a dark green sash around his torso. You faltered as you made eye contact with him, his eyes trailed down your form, darkening to the colour of tar. You felt yourself flush under his gaze, a slight tingle underneath your skin making you shift in discomfort. You couldn’t break eye contact with him even as your friends greeted him, his shocked gaze keeping you in place. “Y/N.” He whispered, taking a step towards you, you’re prepared to reach out to him when your sight is cut off by the abrupt entrance of the blonde Frenchman who barged past Yoongi.

“Y/N. You look delicious.” He smirked at you and you had to fight the urge to grimace. Grabbing your hand forcefully he doesn’t even acknowledge Yoongi as he dragged you out of the Common Room. Having to pick up your pace so that you didn’t trip over your dress, you looked back, your desperate eyes making contact with Yoongi’s dark ones once more. However, he’s gone from your sight the next second as Luc turned the corner.

Not being part of the Champions, the two of you had to wait near the entrance to the Great Hall, so you took your time observing the Christmas decorations that littered the gradious hall. The theme was a dark blue, with stars sparkling above your heads bathing the dance floor in an ethereal glow. You spotted Jimin and Sunny waiting to the side for the signal to start the dance. You could tell she was nervous by the way she gripped at Jimin’s robes, whispering animatedly in his ear. You laughed to yourself, you didn’t know her very well and you weren’t her biggest fan per se, but their relationship was adorable. Both of them were so oblivious to the other it was almost endearing if not borderline annoying.

Luc’s grip on you hasn’t softened since you entered the Grand Hall, it was starting to make you feel uncomfortable. You stepped to the side as you tried to get him to loosen his hold on you. When you were unsuccessful, you stomped your foot near his. “Let go.” You warned him through gritted teeth. Not only did he ignore you, but he tightened his grip on your arm as he dragged you forwards towards the rink. You didn’t even notice that the Champions had finished with their first dance, and now it was open to everyone to join in. You knew you’d regret it later, as you missed the opportunity to witness your cousin’s marvelous dancing with his clumsy partner, but you had more pressing matters to sort out. Your partner pulled you onto the dance floor and with a sneer he glanced at you, “I hope you know how to dance, I don’t want to be embarrassed.” You bit back a remark, you knew you couldn’t cause a scene in the middle of so many people, no matter how loud you normally were. Instead of answering you tighten your grip on his shoulder, your eyes coldly staring past him.

As you glided in a waltz across the floor you took your time scanning the room, taking in all the couples, the decorations and most importantly, your eyes were searching for the sole person you wanted to see that night. You spotted him in a corner near a table, his eyes already on you. The intensity with which he was watching you made a shiver run down your spine. This time, it didn’t feel uncomfortable, on the contrary Yoongi’s gaze on you felt reassuring. The whole dance you kept your gazes locked on each other, Yoongi not even glancing away as his partner got pulled from him for a dance. Even though you were apart, and you were dancing with the man meant to be your husband, it felt like it was just you and Yoongi in the room.

You stepped away from Luc as soon as the dance ended. Muttering an excuse about needing refreshments you fought the urge to gag when instead of offering to get them for you, he burdened you with his own refreshments. Taking any excuse that you could to get away from him you nodded and hurriedly made your way towards the tables where Jimin greeted you.

“You could’ve done worse.” His mocking tone irked you and you resisted the urge to kick him in the shin. Instead you angrily grabbed a glass of mead and downed half of it in one go. “Woah there, slow down.” Jimin backed away from you. “If you tell me it’s unladylike Park, I swear on Peeve’s dung bombs you and Sunny will not have any children.” You grumbled under your breath at him, not caring that said girl was also next to him, both their faces now beet red. “I am close to murdering him.” You sighed, the drink and reprieve you had from your French fiancee finally calming you down. “Oh Merlin’s beard, here he comes.” You spotted Luc making his way through the crowd with a pompous stride, heading straight towards you. Grabbing Jimin by his robes in a desperate attempt to hide, you didn’t notice the other man that reached you before your fiance could. With a yelp, you stumbled straight into Yoongi’s chest, his hands wrapping around your waist in an attempt to steady you. “You’re good.” He whispered in your ear. Your stomach clenched at his low voice and his breath hitting the sensitive shell of your ear. Mumbling a thanks you stepped away from him, your eyes never leaving his. You could feel your heart speeding up and you had to resist the urge to grab onto him for support once more.

“Y/N, where are the drinks?” Luc’s voice broke you out of your daze, and you turned away from Yoongi to face him. “I- uh- forgot.” You mumbled causing the Frenchman to scoff at you, a look of pure disgust on his face. “I can’t believe my wife is this stupid.” He spat at you. You could feel your blood boiling in anger, but before you could reply Jimin stepped in front of you. “She is not your wife and she is definitely not stupid.” You could hear the anger in his voice. Luc sized him up, knowing that he couldn’t have an argument with the head of the Park family, that would ruin any chances. Instead he sneered at your cousin whilst grabbing your arm tightly. “Come on.” He glared at you, but having had enough you stood your ground trying to pry your arm out of his grip. “Let me go.” You said through gritted teeth, you were close to hexing his ass and no one would have been able to stop you. Pulling at you roughly once more trying to get you away from your friends, he suddenly tripped over his robes. You yelped feeling yourself start to fall down along with him, when a hand grabbed you and pulled you towards a familiar chest. In the corner of your eyes you noticed a wand being placed back into the black robes that Yoongi was wearing.

“What happened?” Luc looked around confused, picking himself off the floor and you realised straight away what Yoongi had done. “Your robe’s dirty.” Yoongi pointed out with a monotonous voice, and you fought back a laugh. You could see the change in Luc’s eyes, the anger making him explode. With a flurry of curses thrown around in French, he stormed out of the Great Hall. You stared after him in silence for a second before you couldn’t help it anymore and you burst out laughing. “Oh, wow. Who would have thought?” Jimin finally calmed down enough to speak. “Now if you’d excuse us, Sunny needs to polish her dancing skills.” Saying that he grabbed said girl by the arm and led her towards the dance floor. Still chuckling to yourself you turned towards Yoongi, a sparkle in your eyes that made his heart burst with warmth.

“Confundus eh? Thank you. I don’t know how to repay you for that.” You smiled kindly at him, waiting for a response. But when he silently extended his hand towards you, all you felt was the blood rushing to your head, making you dizzy. “You could dance with me.” His tone was calm, not once giving away the nervousness that he felt beneath his skin. You didn’t even hesitate, you placed your hands in his. He led you towards the dance floor, wrapping his arm around your waist, whilst you daintily placed your hand on his shoulder. As you slowly started to glide along the dancefloor between the couples, your eyes locked onto his. The charmed stars twinkling above you, your heart fluttered in hope.

Needless to say, Christmas holidays came and went, your trip home cut short by your desire to be away from your obnoxious family, and the excitement of continuing your studies alongside Yoongi. With his help, you started making progress with your Potions, and you would have long chats about anything and everything during the hours you were meant to be studying for Defence. Yoongi felt happy, it felt like everything was finally going right. Until that one fateful day when a curse and a fight would change everything for him. He never thought that by being himself just once in his life, would cost everything he had managed to build over the past seven years at the school.

Yoongi’s heart dropped. He’d been found out. He could tell just by looking at everyone’s reaction. The friends he’d managed to make, had found out about his blood status. If not certain, they are suspecting him now. Suddenly, flashbacks of his father degrading him- calling him a dirty blood traitor, whilst making sure the skin of his wrist was raw and blistery, plagued his mind. His thoughts filled with his father’s harsh words, accompanied by his mother’s cries; the symphony of Yoongi’s life. He stood frozen on the spot, the adrenaline coursing through his veins causing him to enter the fight or flight mode. His wide eyes took in the faces of the people that have always supported him for the past few years he’s been at Hogwarts.

But then again, could Yoongi even call these people friends? Could he say they have always supported him? He glanced at Jimin.

Jimin, the person whom he thought was a stuck up pureblood. The person who approached him, offered him not only a seat at the Slytherin table, but also a group to belong in. He could vividly recall the day he got put into his house. He was terrified when the Sorting Hat sealed his fate with a simple holler- “SLYTHERIN!” Yoongi was aware of the house's reputation and fame. Full of purebloods, prejudice and pride; his mother had warned him to stay away from them. But how could he, now that he was one of them? In a split moment, he decided then and there that he would not allow anyone know about his status, he would take it to his grave if he had to. So with a strengthened resolve he created Slytherin Yoongi. Gone was the boy who would openly smile until his cheeks hurt, the boy who dreamt of happy endings, the boy who would innocently sit by the lake, his eyes following the murtlaps chasing each other. In his stead, a coldness settled over him. He knew that in order to make it he had to avoid being too close to anyone. Becoming friends with people would only make it harder for him to hide who he was. So he hid in the shadows on his own, keeping himself away from activities that would force him to interact with people more than necessary.

Until Jimin came along. Under the pureblood facade, Jimin was charismatic and flirtatious with everyone and that made him very popular amongst his fellow Slytherins. Yoongi stood no chance against his charms, and when one day he felt himself pulled down, to sit with the most popular Slytherin boy and his best friend he did not know what to make of it.

“You look terrified,” Jimin laughed at Yoongi’s expression.

Being aloof and stiff with most of his peers made Yoongi very good at reading people. However, there was one person he could not read at all, and that was himself. Conflicted most of the time, the battle between the soft hearted boy who would try his best to make everyone happy and the new indifferent one mirrored in his eyes. Jimin was not stupid by any means, Yoongi found that out along the way. The internal battle that he was going through was not unnoticed by the pureblood Slytherin. Thinking about his friend and their journey into their friendship caused an old wound to reopen, a new wave of pain washing over him.

Then there was Jin, his neighbour Jin, who had stuck with him through thick and thin since childhood. Jin was there to pick him up when the other muggle children started calling him a freak. He never thought that Jin would end up at Hogwarts, not until they both got their letter when their mothers met up during their weekly cooking sessions. Getting excited over the letters, their mothers gushed at the two of them being best friends forever. Having Jin be there with him when they both entered the grand halls of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was a comfort he knew he shouldn’t indulge in. After all, they would probably not end up in the same house, and having read enough about the School, he knew there were rivalries, stereotypes. He couldn’t bear the thought of Jin becoming his enemy. So he kept his distance. But as usual, Jin had an innate ability to jump in and save the day, a stubbornness only characteristic to Gryffindors. So, Jin stayed by his side. The boy was smart enough to not reveal their friendship to everyone. Until this day, that is.

Then there was Red, you were the sole reason his cold facade melted. For you he became the person that he used to be. Warm hearted and ready to jump to anyone’s aid. He tried his best to not let his wall crumble, and for the most part he succeeded. But in his heart, something changed, something shifted. Your loud and honest personality paired with your stubbornness and your laissez faire attitude drew him in straight away. Yet, you were Jimin’s cousin, born as a pureblood, with the values of a Slytherin. You were loud and proud about being who you were. Never obnoxious about it, but there would be times when you would slip in one insult or another towards fellow ‘mudblood’ students. Yoongi knew then that as enraptured as he was by you, he had to keep you at a distance. He could not let you find out who he was, so he denied himself the intimacy with you that he desperately craved.

He got caught in the web of lies he has created around his persona. The Yoongi that everyone knew was a facade, he was not and he would never be that Yoongi. He wasn’t the pureblood genius that everyone knew, and he certainly was not the pureblood that could ever hope to win Red’s heart. At the thought of you his eyes honed in on yours. To his surprise he couldn’t see any animosity in them, instead the sheen that glossed over your eyes spoke of pain. The sight of you there, amongst the people who have witnessed his comeuppance was unbearable to him and so with one last wistful glance at you, he turned on his heels and ran.

“Yoongi!” The chorus of voices calling him was drowned out by the desperation in your voice.

He ran as fast as he could, stumbling into people, his eyes filling with hot tears. His legs were starting to hurt, and as he passed students, teachers, statues, Peeves who tried to pelt him with water - all he could focus on was the scene that had sealed his fate. The punches, his innate reaction to help his friends. The way Jin and Jimin had thrown meaningless words at each other. Something so unlike Jin that he did not know what to do, he acted instantly to break up the fight. Seeing his childhood friend, his brother, this aggressive triggered something in him he had not felt for a while. Fear.

He feared that Jin may have snapped, the trials of his life finally catching up to him at one word sputtered by Park’s mouth, so he acted out of pure instinct. He got in between the two, but to everyone’s surprise, Jimin was not the person he first reached out to. It was Jin who worried him the most. Talking to him in front of everyone as if he was an old friend, saying things to him that he shouldn’t have known, raised an alarm in everyone’s minds. When everything finally calmed down, Jin calmed down and Park, constrained by Taehyung. Yoongi was the only one left in the middle of the crowd, exposed and afraid.

Seeing him stand like that, his nervous countenance so unlike the cool composed man you’ve come to know, spurred you on. Cautiously you approached him, your hand extended towards him. “Yoongi?” You tried to get his attention however, your voice came out softer than you’d intended. Clearing your throat, you tried again, this time with a lot more conviction. “Yoongi, are you...ok?” To your credit, you settled for the safest of questions. There were a million thoughts running through your head, how did he know Jin? Most importantly, how did he know Jin so well? You have never once witnessed any contact between him and the Gryffindor Head Boy, other than the occasional nod in his direction. But this, everything you’ve heard, it seemed like their relationship ran deeper than Hogwarts. Purebloods and muggles in your head did not mix, especially Slytherins, unless there was something there that you were missing. That thought now in your head, you threw a hesitant glance in Jimin’s direction. It was easy to spot him amongst the rest, his face the only calm composed one out of all of them. Taehyung, Sunny, Nerd- the surprise was clear and apparent on their faces. Jimin’s calm composure told you all you needed to know- he was aware of the situation. Promising yourself to question him later, you turned your attention back to Yoongi, who as time passed looked more and more like a cornered animal, and you knew that at any moment he would flee the scene. Without thinking you took three rushed steps towards him, your eyes locked onto his. You read the sheer panic in them and before you could react his feet had carried him halfway across the hallway. “Yoongi!”

Without thinking you ran after him, ignoring your cousin’s shouts for you to return. You did what you normally did best, acted rashly and ignorantly. As a beater on the Slytherin team you had the athletic advantage and so you quickly caught up with his retreating form. Reaching out for his arm you stopped him dead in his tracks. “Yoongi. Stop.” Your voice sounded harsher than you’d intended, so desperate to get him to listen to you that you did not consider how your tone would affect him. You waited, not even phased by the sound of the other students milling in the corridors, the sight of his back being all you could see. The sound of his laboured breathing all you could hear. You uttered his name again yet, he did not turn around to face you, and for a second your composure crumbles. You squeeze his arm trying to get his attention, trying to get him to respond to you, trying to get him to do something. Caught up in your own thoughts and worries you yelped in surprise, you didn’t even notice his sharp intake of breath before he suddenly yanked his arm out of your hold.

“What do you want now?” The tone of his voice is as cold as the corridor you are both in. Your heart clenches at the sound. You were expecting him to be hurt or scared, but the anger that you could read in his voice takes you by surprise. How Slytherin of him, you thought, and how Slytherin of you to assume he would be anything but angry. All your life you’ve been indoctrinated to believe that anyone is below you, no matter who they are, all your life you were taught to assume you could read everyone, and you would always be right in your assumptions. Prejudice is not a winner in this case, you realised, not when it comes to love. Because all the nights you have spent in your dark room mulling over what had transpired between the two of you since that day in the bathroom, to the Yule Ball where you could barely think of dancing with anyone else but him. You didn’t see it coming, like a Bludgeon to the head, but your heart did. You tried and tried to tell yourself that it was not love, but it was already too late.

“Yoongi, please don’t shut us out.” You haven’t pleaded in your life, the sound of your voice a surprise to your ears. Before you could think too much into it, Yoongi’s response hit you like the Cruciatus curse.

“Why? Why would I not? Why would I let you use my situation to fuel your pureblood pride?” He spat and you recoiled instantly from him, you’ve never heard such venomous words coming from him. “Yoongi,” you whispered, the fire in your heart dwindling. “Why are you like this? I’ve never....why,” you tried to find your words but the hurt and shock running through your body made it difficult. “You’ve never been like this.” You finally settled. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at you, his fierce expression made you tremble. The shivers running down your spine didn’t stop even as he carried on. The malicious tone of his voice bleeding through your veins like ice cold water. For a second you wonder if this is what Jimin’s felt like as Sunny pulled him out of the Black Lake. Cold and scared.

“What do you know about me?” You open your mouth to respond but he stops you dead in your tracks. “Nothing!” he hissed. “You don’t know anything about me. You know Yoongi, the Slytherin. But you don’t know anything about Min Yoongi the person.” His words cut through you and in that moment you’d rather be stuck with an army of Dementors than hear the accusations thrown your way. You knew he was right, you knew nothing of him. You hadn’t tried to even after your brain finally accepted that your heart belonged to him. Ashamedly, you cower away from him, your heart stuck in your throat, the sudden feeling of nausea hitting you as if you’ve had more Butterbeer than needed. You couldn’t speak, your words falling short of your own feelings. You wanted to tell him you wanted to know him, the real him, pureblood or not, it was him you have fallen in love with. You wanted to tell him the extent of your feelings, yet nothing would come out. The silence that settled over the two of you was pressing and your senses were telling you to run, to get away from the uncomfortable feelings coursing through you. There was a reason you were sorted in Slytherin, more than your pureblood status, the need for self preservation ingrained in you since birth.

Yoongi’s laugh brought you back to the present, the despair you could discern in it made your heart break. Once more, the need to yell out your feelings, to comfort him like you did that day in the bathroom, willed you to move, and so you did. Taking a small weary step, the need to be closer to him overriding your cautiousness you softly whispered his name.

Scared and confused, Yoongi knew he had shut himself in. He was aware of what his words were doing to you, yet he could not bring himself to care. Not when all he could feel was the rejection that had trumped over his entire life, not when the hurt he has carried since birth which was not even his own doing, fuelled his emotions. His heart was screaming at him to move away from you before he did more damage, to remove himself from your vulnerable form, something he had only witnessed twice, your pride never allowing you to show anything less than perfection. However, what he did was the complete opposite to that. The hand that was extended towards him, in an attempt at reconciliation, made him bristle, and so, acting like a cornered Hippogriff, he took the bite in the form of words. Words he would come to regret later, but at that moment, it did not matter to him.

“Stop, just stop.” His voice was loud and clear, the hardness of it washing over you. He could have cast a Stupefy spell over you and the results would have been the same. You froze, the feeling of dread gripping at your heart. “Do you think you can come here, with your pretty words and make everything better?” He spat, his eyes blazing with anger. “You don’t know anything about me, and you wouldn’t care to know.”

Finding your voice, the anger he is throwing at you fuelling yours, you narrowed your eyes at him. “Yoongi, stop. I never said I did not want to know you. I will never shut you out like you are now. Stop being a coward. Don’t shut us out,” The anger in your voice dissipated, leaving the desperation that you felt to seep through. “Don’t shut me out.” But Yoongi is relentless, his anger blinding, he knew he needed to protect himself from what was to come and so, he chose to do it in the only way he’s known how to, by distancing himself from people and his own feelings. “So what, are you implying you’d be friends with a mudblood?” He scoffed, and for a second you couldn’t find the will to speak. Taking it as an agreement, Yoongi carries on, his voice more spiteful than before. “See what I mean? You are not going to shut me out? That is a lie, and you know it. What would your parents think about their perfect princess being friends with a dirty blood traitor huh? What would they say if you brought something as disgusting as that and presented him as your friend? You couldn't, could you? Your perfect status is too important to be tainted” He took another step towards you, but this time instead of meeting him in the middle, you took a step back. The fire in his eyes, and the hatred in his voice terrified you.

“But you’re not a mudblood, not…” You couldn’t continue, your heart stuck in your throat, and the taste of bile invaded your tastebuds once more. You could feel the tears pricking, waiting to come out. Yoongi stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide as if you’ve burnt him. And maybe you have, because the next second he groaned in frustration, “see what I mean, Y/N? Full mudblood or not, blood status will forever matter to you. And this is why you need to stay away from me. Forget I even existed in your life.” With that he turned around and left in a hurry his robes billowing behind him, not even bothering to glance back at your broken form. He knew he shattered you, his words pierced through your heart, he could’ve used an Unforgivable Curse on you and it would have been kinder than this. Yoongi tried his hardest to not break down in front of you but as soon as he turned the corner and was out of your sight he crumpled to the ground, his silent sobs a mirror of your echoing ones.

He didn’t know how long he’d stayed there, he didn’t know when his legs carried him to the bathroom that Moaning Myrtle normally did the rounds in, yet he wasn’t disturbed by anyone. He didn’t even notice you entering and trying to talk to him again, all he could hear was the yells of his father, the abuse he suffered because of what he was, all to the soundtrack of his own sobs. He could feel his body begging him to stop, to stop crying himself to exhaustion. When he eventually calmed down he found himself unable to move, and you were nowhere to be seen. His body stiff from sitting in one position for so long, his head pounding with the effort of crying, he felt empty. Helpless. He didn’t know where to go from there, aware it was late he willed himself to move. He knew he needed to return to the dungeons, it would be around this time that Jimin would start his rounds as Prefect and he didn’t want to risk getting points taken away from them if anyone else but Jimin found him loitering in the corridors. Though, that wouldn’t be unlike him, a disappointment to his house.

Luckily for him, the way to the Common Room was deserted. Before entering, the growl coming from his empty stomach reminded him he missed dinner and so at the last minute he took a detour towards the kitchens, hoping that one of the Elves could make him something to eat. Standing in front of the painting he tickled the pear. Entering the kitchens he greeted the House Elves but to his surprise, he found himself staring at Jimin. Muttering his name Yoongi went to turn around and leave, the sight of his friend a painful reminder of what happened a few hours prior. “Yoongi, wait.” Jimin’s voice sounded stern and by habit, Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks. He didn’t want to face his friend, the friend who always thought he was something he wasn’t, something he could never be, and something that Jimin valued above anything else. The thought of you crossed his mind and he closed his eyes tightly in grief. How could he dare face the cousin of the person he’s hurt the most?

“Jimin.” He couldn’t say anymore than that, his feelings clear in his voice. He felt angry, he felt ashamed, he felt like a fraud. No one said a word, the hustle and bustle of the House Elves the only noise that could be heard around them. Finally, Jimin sighed as he sat back down, motioning for Yoongi to join him. Yoongi hesitated, he shouldn’t. He didn’t know what Jimin would do now that he knew his friend wasn’t what he said. “Please sit or I'll have to report you to the Headboy for being out this late.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes. He wouldn’t put it past Jimin to do such a thing so he complied, and sat down further away. Once again Jimin sighed,”look, I won’t discuss what happened today unless you wish to.” Yoongi’s eyes widened, unable to believe what he was hearing. It was so unlike Jimin to make a pass at someone in such a way.

“Then why am I sitting here?” Yoongi bit back, too exhausted to lash out at Jimin, even though that is all he wanted to do. “Because you are my friend.” Yoongi couldn’t help but scoff at Jimin’s words, “Yes, you are my friend Yoongi, nothing can change that, especially since you are in love with my cousin.” Yoongi froze, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His brain was yelling at him to deny it, how could he love you, when all he’s done was hurt you, yet his heart wholeheartedly agreed with Jimin. Confused by his own feelings, he didn’t say anything while waiting for Jimin to continue. Seeing that his friend was not going to react to his words Jimin sighed and continued. “Look, I knew who you were, I've known since 4th year.” Yoongi snapped his head round to look at Jimin, his eyes wide in surprise. “You...knew? Why then...?” he whispered and Jimin nodded. “Yes, I knew. Why, then, did I not say anything or why have I stayed your friend?” Yoongi nodded at the latter, he wanted answers for both of those questions but he would take whatever Jimin would give him. Jimin sighed once more, he never realised how broken his friend actually was, and it broke his heart to see it. “Because no matter what, you are who you are, not what your blood status is. Yes, there is prejudice, and I apologise if I've ever made you feel like I would shun you because of this, but I frankly don’t care. My family does, but I don't care what they do either.” Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, relief washing over him. Jimin didn’t care. It felt as if a rock had been lifted off his chest. Jimin smiled grimly, “I will fight until the end with them if it means I get to live the life I want.” Yoongi nodded in understanding. “Is this about Sunny?” Jimin hummed in agreement. “I will tell my parents after graduation.” Yoongi shuddered, he knew where this was going, and he knew he wouldn���t be able to refuse. “I will consider.” He said and got up to leave; suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“That is all I am asking of you.” Yoongi smiled grimly at Jimin but didn’t reply. Jimin continued, “And Yoongi, what I just said about not caring what you are? I know Red doesn’t either. So please consider that too.” Yoongi left without uttering another word, his heart pounding in his chest.

The sight of the looming manor made Yoongi stop dead in his tracks, his blood ran cold and he fought the instinct to Disapparate back to his home. He was here for Jimin’s sake, he needed to be there for his friend so with a sigh he dejectedly made his way towards the entrance. With the last bit of his strength he prepared himself to knock, only to be startled when the door opened for him as soon as he raised his hand towards the knocker. Confused, he took a cautious step inside, expecting someone to yell at him for trespassing. When only silence greeted him, he glanced around, taking in the intimidating vastness of the corridor. The mahogany theme of the door continued inside, the tall ceiling supported by wooden beams displaying various carvings. Yoongi took his time observing the paintings displayed above his head, the intricacy and detail told him they were an expensive artifact. Taking a few more hesitant steps, he came face to face with a grand mirror, its frame made out of solid gold and Yoongi couldn’t help but huff at the thought of a Slytherin owning something else apart from silver. But then again, Jimin has never been your usual Slytherin. Before he could wonder further into the house, his ears picked up a murmur carrying over from the right hand side.

Determined to not make himself appear like a muggle, he took a deep breath in and with a determined stance, straightening his back he prepared himself to fully enter enemy territory. He was a lithe person, normally living in the shadows, he was used to not making a sound as he walked. Sometimes that would be a blessing and sometimes it would be a curse. As he approached the location where the voices were coming from he decided it was the former rather than the latter. Turning the corner, his heart stopped for a second. With her back towards him, in full dark green robes, bent over, whispering cautiously to a house elf, stood Red. He hadn’t seen you since that last argument, the two of you making it clear you wanted nothing to do with each other. You played this avoidance game throughout to the end of the year, it wasn’t hard to do so.

With your N.E.W.Ts around the corner, you both got stuck studying for your respective classes. Fortunately for him, aside from Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts you two didn’t share any other classes together. So for the rest of the year, you two didn’t have any unnecessary meetings. At first, Yoongi felt relieved, the way he treated you at that time was a painful memory, not having the chance to face you about it eased his mind. He wasn’t wrong when he told you during your dance at the Yule Ball that he was going to hurt you, you adamantly refused to believe him. That night in the corridor when he degraded your status as a pureblood with all the hatred he could muster, he saw the heartbreak in your eyes. At the time, he couldn’t care less, the painful memories of his childhood completely blinding him, the shame hit him a few hours later when he talked to your cousin. “She has the right to love whomever she wants, what she doesn’t have is a choice to have whomever she wants. Yet, she’s fighting for that choice, and her choice is you. She couldn’t have found a better cause to fight for.”

Those words stayed in his heart until the end of the year, he didn’t know how or when, but he’s slowly come to terms with his feelings. He suspected his talk with Jin about it also helped. Jin, who came to apologise about the situation he put Yoongi through, however, contrary to his first reaction, Yoongi was quick to assure him it didn’t matter. People were bound to find out regardless, it wasn’t as if the situation ended up that way due to Jin’s malicious intent. The discussion with Jin made him realise that people haven’t treated him differently. He’s managed to make friends during these years at Hogwarts, and the friends he’s made liked him for himself, not his status in society. The only people who may have had a real issue with it were the first people to find out, the people who accepted him without a doubt.

At the sight of you, crouched to the House Elf’s level whispering instructions, his gaze softened. You were one of those people, and yet, he treated you horribly. As a Slytherin pureblood you had your faults, pride being one of them, but you’ve never treated anyone differently based on their blood status. You tended to stay away from what would be deemed as ‘impure blood’ but that wasn’t a choice, the rivalries and prejudice between Houses made it difficult to overcome that. Suddenly his ears picked his name out from the conversation and he took a step back, assuring that he was hidden from view.

“Make sure Yoongi doesn’t realise, ok? Honestly, how can he Disapparate in front of the Manor and come knock like a muggle?” Yoongi’s heart clenched at your words, maybe he was wrong, maybe you did avoid him on purpose. Before his thoughts could take over his actions, you carried on, “this family would not only suspect him, but go to the depths of looking into his family history. Make sure no one realises he didn’t Floo himself here, Harvey.” Yoongi unknowingly took a few steps closer to you, his body now in full view. Straightening up, you turned to leave the room when you caught sight of Yoongi’s frozen form.

Your surprised expression instantly turned cold, as you nodded at him in acknowledgement. “Yoongi.” Said man couldn’t find his words to greet you, the discrepancy between your cold words to him and what he’s heard earlier making his head spin. Your face may have been stony cold, but your heart bled for him. You’d missed him- playing the avoidance game had been the hardest thing you’d ever had to do. Seeing him now, looking fresher and healthier than he was the last time you saw him, hurt. Because you knew that it was you who’d managed to bring him to despair. You may have done it subconsciously, or maybe you weren’t even a part of it, but the guilt gnawed at your inside nonetheless. Your world was not healthy for him. You knew that. You shouldn’t have even thought about bringing him into it, this wasn’t a fairytale, and it would never be. You needed to let him go. Defeated, you prepared yourself to leave. But just like Jimin had stopped him that night in the kitchens, Yoongi decided that it was time to stop being a coward. He needed to face his demons, and most importantly he needed to make sure you never left his side again.

“Y/N.” The tone of his voice made you stop abruptly, your eyes widened in panic. This was not meant to happen, you weren’t ready to face him on your own just yet. Putting on the most cordial face you could, you nodded at him in acknowledgment. “Yoongi. How have you been?” He hated it- hated this politeness towards him. Where was the woman who put him in his place more than once? Where was the woman whose pride meant she had to have the last word. “I-Fine.” He was so caught off guard by your behaviour that he found the words he’d prepared stuck in his throat.

Staring at him for a second longer, you nodded. “Well-“ Yoongi knew what you were going to say so with a last surge of courage he plunged. “I love you.” You froze, your brain trying to wrap itself around the confession that Yoongi just hurtled at you. “What?” You whispered, you needed to make sure you heard it correctly. Yoongi took a deep breath in, the cat was already out of the bag, and he would be as truthful with you as he could without drinking any Veritaserum. “I love you, I may not be the best for you, by Merlin, I am not even a possibility for you, but I wanted to let you know. I’ve run away too much, and you were right, I’ve been a coward. But if I want to stand any chance against your family, I need to stop hiding behind my hatred and cowardice.” His words were said with such conviction they brought tears to your eyes. Unknowingly, your feet carried you closer and closer to him, until you broke off into a run, not caring about how unladylike you may have looked. You threw yourself into his arms making him stumble. “I love you.” You whispered into his shirt, the tears flowing down your cheeks washing away the pain you’ve garnered in your heart. There was nothing else exchanged, there was no need to. You both knew how you felt, you both knew the other knew how you felt. You were both aware it will be a tough ride for the both of you, but your hearts were mending and that was all that mattered.

“What about the French bastard?” Yoongi broke out of your hold and looked at you in confusion. “What about him?” Your eyes are twinkling like the night stars, and Yoongi swore he saw galaxies in your smile. “My parents don’t want a son in law who ditches their daughter at a ball.” You chuckled as Yoongi’s eyes widened. “Plus,” you grabbed his hand and led him out of the drawing room towards a grandiose, intricately carved door. Behind it, Yoongi could hear murmurs and he assumed that is where the party was being held. “Jimin can be very convincing when he wants to.” You winked at him playfully.

“Let's hope he’s more than willing to be convincing today too.” Yoongi smirked and he looked at you. “You ready?” At your nod, you both waved your hands whispering Alohomora and watched with your hearts in your throat as the door opened. It was now or never.

As Jimin announced his relationship to Sunny, your hand gripped Yoongi’s subconsciously. Your heart threatened to beat out of your chest in fear. Fear for Jimin and his relationship, but most importantly, fear for yourself and your own chances at a happy relationship with Yoongi. You glanced at said man, he looked terrified as if he was the one under scrutiny, you could notice his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. The silence in the room felt heavy and you turned your attention towards your parents. You knew it was selfish, it was Jimin you should be worried about and yet, all you could think of was the man next to you. The man who managed to brave this manor, and these purebloods despite his adversity to them. All for your cousin. You could see the tick in your parent’s jaw, you could see the tension between Jimin and his father, so thick you could cut it with a knife. No one dared to say anything for a while, and just like that, with the sounds of a platter dropping to the floor the tension was broken like a spell. Everyone’s heads turned towards the source of the noise. There in the middle of the fireplace, stood the fashionably late Taehyung, having Floo’d in straight into a House Elf serving a platter of wine. “My apologies for the lateness!” He exclaimed as he took in the mess he’s managed to create. With a wave of his hand he mumbled “Reverte” under his breath, not giving the House Elf another look as he made his way in between Jimin and his father. “Mr. Park, lovely to see you.” He bows his head in respect, not giving Jimin’s father any time to react, Taehyung turns quickly towards Jimin. “Jimin, you are needed in the Auror Office today as soon as possible.”

If you wouldn’t have known those two rascals from a very young age you would’ve thought it a coincidence, a bloody godsend, but because you have been around them since diapers you didn’t miss the slight turn at the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, or the way Jimin subtly nodded at him. They have planned this from the beginning, and with a small relieved laugh you acknowledge Tae’s greeting with a wave of your hand.

“They planned this all along didn’t they?” Yoongi’s whisper in your ears makes you shudder. Still chuckling to yourself you nod, “of course they did, it’s the double trouble of Hogwarts, well I should say the Auror’s Office now shouldn’t I?” Turning towards him, you don’t miss the amused glint in his eyes. You barely notice the commotion of the party carrying on around you, your fingers intertwined with Yoongi’s, your gazes locked and silly smiles on your faces. If Jimin could do this and get through it, then so could you. You weren’t going to let Outdated Park beat you at that too.

“We will be fine.” You said determinately, a surge of courage and hopefulness running through you. Chuckling at your expression, Yoongi nodded.

“Yes we will, Red, yes we will.” You could get through this, especially if it was with Yoongi by your side, it was all worth it.

Main Masterlist

[dancingintheraindreamingonday]

People's Paradise - Part 2

Summary: Steve’s feelings for you are growing but so are Bucky’s feelings for you. You are unaware of your appeal that just makes everything more complicated.

Pairing: Bucky x reader; Bucky x angel!reader

Warning: non, just fluff and feelings

Author’s note: I hope you'll enjoy this story. Please be aware that English is not my first language. And thank you to everyone who reads my stories and especially to those who write nice comments. I’m so overwhelmed by that that I can't reply (because I’m just blushing and giggling). :D 

Part 1 - His angel 

You and Bucky woke up and parted before anyone else could see you. Around lunchtime Bucky came into the common room, pissed off because his psychiatrist is the most annoying person he has ever met and because he wasn’t allowed to go on missions like the others. Then according to the doctor he was still unstable. To his surprise he found you lying headfirst on the couch. The pink headphones on your head and the slight movements of your feet implied that you were listening to music while reading a big book. Bucky leaned against the kitchen counter pouring some gin into his glas and watching you. Suddenly you looked up like you felt his presence in the room. „Oh. You’re back. How was it?“, you asked taking your headphones off. Bucky didn’t answer and just shrugged. You nodded in understanding. „Why are you here? Why aren’t you on their mission?“, Bucky asked. „I’m not allowed to go on missions. This would be interfering the human order and I would cause problems with that. Angels are watching me 24/7 to make sure I stay put.“ You looked outside the window realizing how warm and sunny it is. 

„Do you wann go out with me?“. Bucky almost choked on his drink. „Like a date?“

„Oh. I meant do you wanna go outside with me- there’s a lake nearby and it’s really peaceful there.“, you smiled at him with your big (y/e/c) eyes and Bucky hadn’t it in him to say no to you even thought he just wanted to stay home. „But I don’t swim.“ You beamed at him. „You don’t have to.“

Half an hour later you both arrived at the lake and Bucky instantly regretted it. The lake was beautiful indeed but dozen of people were there as well- running, swimming, laughing and shouting at each other. „I thought you said it’d be calm.“, Bucky muttered annoyed. „Did I?“, you said happily already looking for a nice spot. As you and Bucky lay down you couldn’t help but chuckle. He looked so out of place with his jeans and shirt and shoes still on. In contrast you lay on your stomach with a red bikini that Bucky cursed himself. Why did he decide to come to the lake with you. You were pure temptation and it took Bucky everything to resist you; to not touch you. „Why are we here again?“

You turned to your left to look at him. Bucky lay on his back but his upper body was up like a small crunch while his elbows supported his weight. His sunglasses covered his eyes but you were pretty sure screwed his eyes. „I like it here. It’s people’s paradise. Everyone here is happy and carefree.“, You hummed and started to read the next chapter. Reading it out loud so quietly that only Bucky could hear you words. The voices and laughs of the children faded away and he almost dozed off if a volleyball wouldn’t have been flying in your direction and Bucky caught the ball effortlessly with his right hand. 

Seconds later two college students were running towards you both. „I’m so sorry.“, said a high-pitched voice. The girl seemed nervous, playing with her hair and fluttering her eyelashes. „Nice catch.“, said a boy’s voice, clearly impressed. „Would you like to join? We play beach volleyball over there.“, He nodded to the girls and boys to his left. 

Before Bucky could decline you closed your book and looked up. „Beach volleyball sounds fun.“ The boy was obviously stunned by your appearance that he had a hard time trying to catch his breath. „You can play too.“, His voice was dry and nervous. „Awesome. Give us a minute.“ You clapped happily in your hands. 

„I don’t want to play volleyball with these kids.“, Bucky snarled angrily at you. „C’mon. Just one game. If you don’t like it, we will leave after that. I promise. But I’m pretty sure it will be great“

„Have you ever played it before?“, asked Bucky annoyed. „No, I haven’t but I watched the olympics last year.“, you winked at him.

You and Bucky were in opposite teams and you both dominated the game clearly. So after 3 rounds they decided to make it even more interesting. 2 versus 2. Bucky and a girl called Amanda, who was extremely good at this sport and you and a boy named Leon. Before the game started you grinned at Bucky. He looked so normal at this moment. Carefree. He laughed and you could see the little wrinkles around his eyes. He got rid of his shirt some games ago and just like the other girls you enjoyed the view of his trained body. His abs were glistening due to the sweat. This game felt like a game just between you both. Two soldiers who were tired of fighting but in that moment you both were free and normal and enjoying life.

„Be honest. You just won because of your angel power.“, Bucky chuckled as you walked to the car. You threw your head back laughing. It was already dark outside. You both spent more time at the lake than you thought. „I can’t help it. I’m an angel. I can’t turn it off.“ You looked at Bucky taking in his smile and his happiness. „I’m happy that you enjoyed today.“, you said sincerely.

„I felt like the boy I was before going to war. I thought I’d never feel that way again.“ He was thankful. Thankful that you were by his side. 

Back in the compound you guys were greeted by a rather angry Steve. „Where have you been?“ He looked furious and you couldn’t understand it. „What? Did something happen on the mission?“, you asked terrified walking up to him. Your hands were caressing his trained triceps in a comforting way. Steve shrugged off your hands. „I’ll tell you what happened. We came back from our mission and you both weren’t there. You weren’t there.“ Steve looked at you directly, accusing you to the seemingly bad thing you did. You looked around to the other avengers who looked away awkwardly. You looked back to Steve, crossing your arms. Bucky observed you intensively. You seemed unsure and puzzled. „And that was wrong?“ First, Bucky thought you were provoking Steve with your question but then it dawned on him. You didn’t know how Steve felt. You were an angel still trying to figure out how to be human. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly annoyed. „Where were you both?“ He asked.

„At the lake. We played beach volleyball.“, you smiled looking at Bucky. „You two were at our lake?“ Steve looked at you in utterly disbelief and almost heartbroken. You widened your eyes, knowing you must have said something wrong. „What? No, I mean… I don’t own this lake. Other people were there as well.“, you tried to justify your actions, thinking that Steve meant a posted property by using the possessive pronoun. He just stared at you, shaking his head and stormed out. „Steve, wait!“, you shouted but he ignored you. You slouched your shoulders and walked into your room. 

You couldn’t sleep that night so you decided to go on the balcony. You breathed in the cold, rainy air and studied the stars above your head. „I hope you don’t mind“, Suddenly Bucky stood next to you, imitate your actions by starring at the stars as well. He lighted a cigarette and exhaled. „I’m sorry about the argument with Steve.“, he said softly. „Don’t be. He was just upset because the mission was a mislead. I’ll talk with him tomorrow.“ 

„He was worried about you.“, stated Bucky. „That’s the reason why he was angry with you.“

„Really? But I’m way stronger than everyone else. That doesn’t make any sense.“, you mumbled. Bucky smiled. „Yeah. That thing never makes any sense.“, Bucky looked away from the stars and studied your face. „I enjoyed the day at the lake. I enjoyed your company.“ He whispered. „Sometimes I get the feeling that I’ve known you before. That I’ve know you my whole life.“

„Impossible.“ You whispered looking into his blue eyes and then on his lips. Bucky smelled of cigarette and coffee and rain. It was an intoxicating smell that you couldn't really focus. He was just centimeters from you and in seconds you would feel his hard lips on your soft ones. Suddenly a lout thud was heard as if someone in the kitchen dropped something. You couldn’t see the person because of the darkness. You gulped, stepping away from Bucky, making space. „I think I should go to bed now.“, you mumbled sloping your shoulders. Bucky gazed after you, regretting not kissing you. Regretting letting you go.

Adoration - Part 3

@jessyballet​ @geek-and-proud​ @xlostinobsessionsx​ @cataves​ @intothesoul​

[fanmoose12]

a little something for @bruciesnat :) i know i've promised it like a lifetime ago, sorry for the delay! oh, and i decided to combine it with a prompt i also received a long while ago <3

Mike doesn't know why he's doing this. Doesn't understand how he agreed to it, can't comprehend why Erwin would make him do it. Mike doesn't know what he had done to deserve this- this punishment.

He's- he's a good man. An honest one. He serves to ensure the future of humanity, he risks his life to give others a better one.

He's good at it too, he's excellent at fighting and slashing and scouting. He was the best one at it, before- before the annoying midget came.

The same annoying midget, who is insanely strong and easily irritated. The same annoying midget, who has a crush on their adorable Hange. Hange, who Mike has to seduce to test Erwin's theory that Levi, insanely strong, easily irritated Levi, truly has a crush on their Hange.

Mike swallows heavily as he sits next to Hange, just a little too close as Erwin instructed. He smells that it won't end well.

He cringes, as he puts his arm around her shoulders.

Mike likes Hange, a lot actually. Sometimes he feels like they're siblings that were torn apart by some bigger entity. So yeah, he likes Hange. But definitely not like that.

But, oh well, anything for the cause, right?

"Hey, Hans," he murmurs, adopting his most seducting tone. He hopes that his smile is charming enough to captivate their dear scientist. "Are you free tonight? I have two tickets to the theater perfomance," he leans in closer, lowering his voice to what could probably (Mike is an eternal optimist!) be called an enticing whisper. "They're showing the creation of the the Walls tonight."

Somewhere on his periphery, Mike can see a swift dark shadow that oozes the smell of detergent. That shadow, it grows closer, its aura becoming more menacing.

Mike can only hope that if Levi attempts to kill him, Erwin would intervene.

Although... knowing Erwin, he'd just write Mike's death off as a necessary sacrifice.

He takes his hand off Hange. The shadow retreats a few steps back.

"Sorry, Mike," Hange shrugs with a small, apologizing smile. "I showed that play to Levi a few weeks ago. I had my fill of religious propaganda for now. But if you're looking for someone to accompany you," she winks and turns around. Mike's heart sinks. "Levi really liked going to the theatre! He'll be happy to tag along, right, Levi?"

Mike meets Levi's eyes, and sees nothing but desire for murder inside.

Mike quickly scrambles to his feet. "You know, I'll just ask Gelgar to go with me. I'm sure he doesn't have anything better to do."

And they can get wasted afterwards. Mike really needs that after this conversation.

Just as he retreats, Levi takes his place, sitting down next to Hange, also just a little too close.

The mission had failed spectacularly, but, Mike consoles himself, at least he learned that Hange and Levi went to theatre together. And sometimes intel is more important than the victory, right?

Ah, if only Erwin would share his opinion on that.

***

Erwin's second attempt is even worse than the first one, but, at least, this time it doesn't directly involve Mike. Still, he's an unwilling spectator to it, and, just as the last time, he doesn't like where all of this is going.

He already feels bad for the poor guy Erwin hired to hit on Hange during the annual military ball. Where did Erwin get the money - did he take them from the Corps' funds or his own allowance, Mike doesn't know, and, frankly, he isn't sure which option is more disturbing.

At least, the actor is handsome, Mike doesn't know if Hange would like him, he doesn't know if she has a type, and if she does, he hopes it's not annoying midgets, but the guy is handsome, there is no denying that.

Hange has cleaned up fairly well too, the white suit looks excellent on her, bringing out all of her best assets, demonstrating her wide hips and lean, long legs. The hair, gathered in a neat bun, shows her long, gorgeous neck, and the light make-up make her even more gorgeous than usual.

When she and Erwin walked through the front door - him in his blue suit and Hange in her white, symbolising their Wings of Freedom, everyone had their breath taken away.

Even Mike was a little shocked to see Hange dressed up like this, and Levi, who stood right next to him, was completely blown away, staring at Hange with wide-eyed, lovestruck look.

Thanks to Levi's ridiculous expression, Mike now understands why Erwin goes to such length to bring their resident weirdos together. It is delightful to watch Levi behave like that, and Mike longs to see more of this side of him.

Soon after Hange and Erwin make their grand entrance, their guy makes the first move.

He approaches Hange, his eyes bright and smile so charming it makes Mike envious that Hange is at the receiving end of it. He kisses her hand, whispers something in her ear.

"He praises her recent experiment. I thought it was a good place to start," Erwin explains quietly to him.

"Ah," Mike nods. So Erwin thought every detail through? Not surprising at all. "Think this would have an effect on Levi?"

"It already does," Erwin says, pointing to a furious cloud of black hair and suit that is approaching them at a rapid speed.

"Has four-eyes lost all shame?" Levi practically growls, his eyes throwing flames. "Is she seriously flirting with a fucker from the MP?"

"He's not a soldier," Mike answers, reciting a legend Erwin created. "He's actually a wealthy merchant from the South. Heard he sells apples to the King himself."

"And since when Hange is interested in someone like him," Levi crosses hands on his chest, his glare turning even darker, as Erwin's actor takes Hange by the hand and leads her to the dance floor.

"You know, you can ask Hange to a dance," Erwin advices with a pleased smile. "Then she won't be able to flirt with others."

Levi scoffs. "I would rather fight a horde of titans than dance with stinky four-eyes."

Maria, Rose and Sina, Mike thinks. They're worse than children.

"Hange has taken a bath before coming here," he tells Levi.

Levi rolls his eyes. "And now she looks even more awful than usual."

Mike shares a look with Erwin. Does Levi prefer usual Hange, when she doesn't bath for days and her eyes water from the lack of sleep? It almost sounds cute.

"This is the last time I'm attending this shitty ball," Levi swears to Erwin. "Even wine here is shitty."

He marches away immediately after that, heading to the table with wine. Mike can barely stop his laughter, as he watches Levi take a glass of wine, drink a few large gulps of it, and then wince, his mouth moving as he probably murmurs violent curses. He doesn't take his eyes off Hange and her dance partner, and relaxes only when the song ends.

Both Mike and Erwin watch intently as the actor kisses Hange's hand once again. Hange blushes, and Mike almost coos. Levi grabs another glass of wine.

When the actor starts leading Hange away, in the direction of the balcony, Levi starts moving too. He intercepts them just at the edge of the ballroom.

Mike knows he should have expected something like that, knows that Levi doesn't exactly possess the best of manners, but pouring wine over someone? Over his own colleague and friend? Mike certainly didn't expect that.

He's delighted to see what happens next, though.

What happens is that Hange's gorgeous white suit is ruined and Levi wraps his hand around her wrist and drags her to the bathroom. He sports a unusually pleased expression and Hange is laughing herself silly.

Not a bad ending to this endeavor, Mike thinks.

"Another disaster," Erwin sighs.

***

Third time is a charm, or so Mike hopes.

This time Erwin decides to take matter in his hands, and that another sign that this plan will succeed.

The plan is simple, yet, hopefully, effective. Erwin is to whisk Hange away to some remote location, create a scene that would look like a moment between lovers, and Mike is to call Levi there and make sure he witnesses it all.

Erwin is a brave man, Mike thinks, as his Commander explains the plan to him. He would never dare to do something like that to humanity's strongest. To awaken his jealous streak... Mike is glad he's not in Erwin's place.

One sunny afternoon, the plan is set in motion. Erwin takes Hange, and Mike goes to find Levi.

He finds him fairly quickly, in the middle of cleaning Hange's room. Man, he could at least try to make his crush be less discreet. But that's beside the point now, because Levi is cleaning Hange's room and not watching Erwin and Hange. Mike confidently strides up to him.

"Levi! I've just been looking for you."

"What do you need?" he asks boringly. "And have you seen four-eyes? I can't find her all day."

Erwin prepared some legend, a reason why Mike needs Levi, but in the heat of the moment, Mike can't remember a single word. So he just yells "Come with me!" and hope that Levi follows.

Thankfully, he does.

Mike leads him to the stables, where Erwin is already at it. His palm is on the wall, next to Hange's head, and from Mike's point of view, it certainly looks like they're in the middle of... something naughty.

Next to him, Levi tenses, and Mike can practically hear his teeth grinding.

Mike prepares for something very ugly, but then...

"I- I didn't know that Erwin and four-eyes-" oh, fuck, it sounds like Levi is genuinely sad, like he's heartbroken or something. Mike feels a strange desire to hug the little guy and pat his head. But then he remembers that he and Erwin are the reason for Levi's distress right now, and... remorse starts kicking in.

"Levi, listen, it's not-"

"Levi!"

As always, Hange is the one to save the day.

She breaks free from Erwin and sprints to Levi, a wide smile on her face. "You won't believe what Erwin had just told me! He gave me permission to go in the town's library and bring back all the books I want! I'm in dire need of your muscles, humanity's strongest, you'll go with me, right?"

Levi still seems grouchy, but under Hange's sunny grin, his angry facade crumbles. "I don't know if Commander will allow it..."

He doesn't even try to hide his bitterness and irration. Mike disguises his chuckle as a coughing fit.

"Erwin!" Hange turns to him, eyes pleading. "Can Levi go with me?"

"Sure," Erwin nods. "Take all the time you need."

Hange yells in triumph, loud enough to make Mike wince. She grabs Levi by the hand and drags him away. Erwin watches them with a wistful smile.

"I don't think we should get involved in their relationships," Mike says, as he approaches Erwin. He stands close to his Commander, their shoulders pressing against each other. "We should let them figure it out themselves."

"Agreed," Erwin says. "I'm sure they'll manage well enough even without us."

Mike watches Hange wrap her arm around Levi, and is inclined to agree. They will certainly manage without them both.

Or, at least, Hange is able to manage.

And that should be enough.

[ceriseeclipse]

Dark Skies

The Signs’ Face Claims

I had this idea for a while: Personification of the signs. I always wanted to write a story that presents the signs as people, with the same features and personalities that the signs are said to have, living their lives, interacting with each other. Here are a few ideas for each character, if I get to the actual story, the characters will develop a lot of course. Please inbox me your feedback, if you would be interested in a story as such. 

Here’s an idea for the face claims. (the actors’ actual sun signs don’t have anything to do with their roles):

Henry Cavill as Aries, the impulsive soldier.Strong-minded and brave, but a hot-head, which makes him dangerous in a fight. He often throws caution to the wind and goes straight to the point, which he may regret later. He lives for today, is initiative and ambitious, lacks certain gentleness, humility and sense of social act, hurts people without even intending to. He’s restless, vital and always looks for new challenges and adventures. Deep-set eyes and dark eyebrows give him the severe, serious but handsome look. He’s not into love, but does like sex. He rarely gets attached to people, only lives for war and winning battles.

Zoë Kravitz as Taurus, the confident, self-sufficient, but sensitive girl. You can rely on her, she’s honest and respects good manners. Patient and cautious, she knows what she wants and won’t let anyone stop her. She keeps her feet firmly on the ground, doesn’t like to dream or wish, she strongly believes that if you want something enough, you have to go and get it. She’s practical and responsible, but easier to break than she’ll ever show. She loves strongly, and passionately, has a big, loving heart, but knows when to let go, she doesn’t put herself down for anyone. Her doe-like, big, brown eyes will make you trust her with your life. She is exactly who a woman should be, if you could say that, confident, strong, independent and intelligent.

Tom Hiddleston as Gemini, the sweet and funny, blonde, curly-haired sunny-boy. He can seamlessly change everything, from style, ideas to work or partner. He is easy to adjust to significant changes. Surrounded by a little nervous energy, he is brilliant but sometimes emotionally unstable. Being bisexual, he likes to sleep around with different people, but doesn’t really mean to intentionally hurt anyone, he just expects other people to take life and relationships as easily as he does. He’s humorous, energetic and cheerful, but doesn’t let anyone see his sensitive side, that’s why his mysterious way seems very attractive. 

Andrew Garfield as Cancer, the typical sweet boy, who likes to play with fire and often gets burned. He can go from being in a great mood to suicidal thoughts in a second. His heart is easy to break and he doesn’t know how to get over it. Trying to bring an order to his chaotic feelings, he starts writing. For himself at first, but that’s how his talent as a writer gets discovered. It helps at first, but his vulnerable nature wants him to take revenge on those who hurt him, which starts to destroy him slowly. 

Madelaine Petsch as Leo, the Queen Bee in Louboutins. She likes expensive clothes, always looks flawless and knows it. She appears even more confident than she actually is. As a struggling actress, her life hasn’t been the easiest. Trusting and a little naive, she’s often been used and lied to. She likes to manipulate people, but sometimes ends up being manipulated herself. Trying hard to hide her generous, forgiving heart, she thinks that the key to success is heartlessness and diamonds. Her brutally honest personality gave her the name of a “bitch”, which she enjoys at times, it gives her a painful kind of satisfaction to be hated, but admired at the same time. Her long, red hair perfectly matches her ever-red lips and green eyes, that roll so often. She enjoys her naturally good looks and knows how to use it for her best. 

Jamie Chung as Virgo, the beautiful healer. She’s a doctor, she lives for helping people. But the sad truth is, she doesn’t always know how to help herself. Being a gorgeous, strong woman, she is full of insecurities, no one can understand. She is ready to sacrifice herself for others, even people she doesn’t know, because her own life doesn’t mean anything to her. Attentive, with great analytical skills, she seems to see everyone's personality through, she sees when somebody’s hurting, when somebody's lying, her eyes don’t miss out on anything. She loves to bring order into the chaotic life, and tries to make the world a better place by being considerate and organized. Being wealthy, she doesn’t like expensive and unnecessary luxuries. Taurus is her soulmate, but unfortunately, there are many struggles that come in their way. Their love is beautiful and innocent, but leaves them both heartbroken, more than once. 

Shay Mitchell as Libra, the girl next door. She has always been a girl who went by unnoticed. A wallflower kind of girl as they say. She never minds, she doesn’t like to show off, doens’t like to shine. Simple clothes and sneakers, ponytail and barely any make-up, that is her every day look. She has a soft personality and knows how to handle troubles, a diplomat, religious, fair, justice has always been important to her. People usually think that she is a depressed teenager, but that isn’t true, life is going as she wishes it to go. She doesn’t like to be pushed, pressured, she prefers to leave responsibility to others. Sometimes, she feels a little basic, that’s all. But the girl will find her place in this world very soon. 

Michael Ealy as Scorpio, the blue-eyed devil. Despite what people said, he isn’t all that bad. The often call him “the evil eye”, if your eyes meet, you always move first. He can kill you with a look, undress you with a look, send you to hell with only one look. He’s never easy, everything is important to him and he takes everything seriously. All around him is black or white, nothing in between. The only people he can call friends seem more like loyal servants. It feels like he never tells the truth, he’s mysterious to a fault and will never tell you his opinion about anything. Don’t do him wrong, he will never let you leave with it. He scars a lot of people. Not always intentionally, just by being himself. 

Will Smith as Sagittarius, the short-tempered cop. He’s charismatic and respectful, a real fighter for justice. Straightforward, he will shoot arrows, he can’t leave anything unspoken. If you’re in the wrong, he’ll make you crack. He does have strong relationships with people, but only the ones who deserve it in his opinion. Quite tolerant, he will accept a lot of your flaws, but never cross a line, he can cut you out of his life in a second. He’s living on the edge, taking risks, jumps into danger, whether it’s about work or love. Being short-tempered, he gets angry fast, screams, even gets physical, but calms down fast and often regrets it. He does have a good soul, but not many get to see it. Mostly, all they see is a man fighting for the good in any possible ways.

Keanu Reeves as Capricorn, the lone wolf. He never really needed anyone. He was fine being alone. Growing up in an orphanage, he was used to it. Not knowing love, no one to care about. But still, he got through, fought for his degree, became a teacher, not even knowing what for. He doesn't really fall in love, he doesn't really get attached, he doesn't really need it. His good looks and seemingly cool nature attracts a lot of people, he’s interesting, mysterious behind closed doors. But no one really knows him, not even himself. At times, it feels like he's ready, to be a part of the world, to take care of people, but he struggles to believe that anyone would put up with him. He always was so ambitious, so determined, but he came to a point where nothing makes sense anymore. That's the moment he meets him. Better said, he reads his book. A book about retaliation.

Margot Robbie as Aquarius, the sharp-tongued beauty. She grew through struggles and insecurities, which turned her into this perfect human being. She was abused, betrayed and had to fight to survive, just to become a brilliant thief. She’s a woman who gets what she wants, with her intelligence and incredible looks. She considers herself a visionary, she has her ambitions and desires, she’s close to the spiritual world and has a great imagination. Overly dramatic at times, she knows her worth, and knows others better than they know themselves. People bore her quite easily, she expects mystery and entertainment from others. Sexually passionate, she suffers from lack of permanent feelings. Her life has to be a never-ending adventure. 

Jared Leto as Pisces, the lost soul. He'a a musician, struggling with drugs and alcohol abuse. His curious and creative mind can't manage between his will to get inspiration and his addictions. He always needs more, whether it's whiskey, love or music, he can never stop. At times, it feels like he's at the end, that he can't do it anymore, but only one shot, and he's back, writing, singing, playing guitar. He falls in love with creative souls like himself, struggling, even dying. For him, it's always over. Every day, can be his last and all he does is singing, dreaming, he always took the path of least resistance.

[straight-into-the-animus]

(Not) Getting Married Today (French Fryes)

This was a fic request for my amazing pal @etzee-ohs that was a long time coming, but finals kept getting in the way. Sorry about the wait and I really hope you enjoy it!!

Read on Ao3

Jacob could hear Evie’s heels clacking on the tile as she came into the bathroom, and quickly slid the lock shut on the stall door.

“This is the men’s room!” He tried to protest, but it came off as more a whine.

“Why’d you run off?”

“I had to piss.” Jacob scooted back on the toilet, almost willing his body to become more compact to avoid being seen.

“Are you a racehorse? You did it twice before we left the house as well.” Evie must have found where he was, since he could see through the gap in the bottom that her short heels and bottom of her pantsuit stopped in front of his stall door.

“Maybe I had a lot of water.”

“Are you even dressed? The ceremony is in an hour.”

Yes, Jacob was somewhat dressed. And no, Jacob didn’t need to be reminded of the time crunch. Arno’s family had gone full out with renting a hall for the ceremony and reception, a lovely villa in the countryside that was way too clean for the rustic look it was going for.

They said they want to take care of it all, Arno had smiled, obviously happy his family had such a blessing and wanted to help, and Jacob tried to get away with a joke that he still wanted a say in the catering and cake -- which he did get the choice of, and thoroughly enjoyed so much that he had hard times with every cake. It wasn’t going to be a big wedding, just the people closest to them. For the past thirty minutes even Jacob where he was had been able to hear the sound of tires crunching on gravel as expectant guests rolled up, and all made excited and general conversation. Jacob was a simple man and would’ve been happy to have a courthouse ceremony in their pajamas, so to get married in a hall was more than he ever dreamed of getting. But in the year and a half it took, neither of them backed out. Jacob didn’t say anything, never questioned Arno and why he wanted this, and he was regretting it.

It wasn’t to say he didn’t want to spend forever attached to Arno, because he did. He knew that even if they ended up splitting, which killed Jacob to think of, he’d never marry again because Arno would’ve been it. But he didn’t want Arno to spend forever attached to him.

“It’s not too late to run, right? I mean. We’re not gonna get the deposit back. I can send something to compensate Arno’s stepdad. You think they’ll accept American money?”

“I’ll drag you back if you think of leaving.”

“Can you just stop, Evie? You’re not helping.” Jacob got off the toilet and opened the door, taking in the concern of his sister’s face. “Why the fuck would Arno wanna marry me?”

“Because he obviously loves you. Can’t you see that? He asked you, right?”

“He asked ‘cause he doesn’t know anything.”

“You’re calling him stupid now?”

“No! Or- yes. Stupidly romantic. It sounds like a good idea but it’s just gonna be a pain in the ass for him eventually.”

Evie fixed him with a look that just seemed to scream that he was an idiot, and he hated it with all his heart because he knew he wasn’t. She spoke, slow and measured, and even if Jacob didn’t want to listen he did.

“You’re not a pain in the ass.” At Jacob’s snort, she rolled her eyes. “Not most of the time. Right now you’re pushing it a bit. But I think Arno really did know what he was doing when he proposed. Have you ever known Arno to back down on anything?”

And Jacob hadn’t -- it was why he was the best at pulling Arno away from fights or at the very least supervising to make sure it didn’t go too far. And why their rare arguments lasted for days sometimes. But he refused to answer and went to wash his hands all the same to avoid her.

“Okay, just- Just don’t cancel anything. Please. We can figure things out.” Evie put a hand on his shoulder and led him out the restroom to go to his actual room, getting no fight in the action. He felt like a livewire and she had to sense it by the way he was silent for once. “I need to step out for a minute to talk to someone and you’re going to relax. Okay?”

Jacob glared but did as asked, looking all the picture of a petulant and scared child as he sat down on the cream sofa.

--------------

Evie stepped out of the room, closing the door, before walking to the end of the hallway and dialing the first number in her contacts. Élise picked up within a few seconds.

“How is he?”

“I finally got him to settle down. He’s curled up on one of the couches. How about your brother?”

“This close to hyperventilating into a paper bag.” Élise sighed, and Evie heard her moving quickly to likely go somewhere more private. “He’s deadset on thinking Jacob doesn’t want this.”

“Obviously we can tell they’re made for each other if they’re going to be like this,” Evie mumbled, pacing a step back and forth at a time before something hit her. “I might have an idea.”

“I do love those.”

Evie grinned.

---------------

Evie waited a few minutes, unwilling to go back to verbal abuse, and came back into where Jacob was likely wanting to drown his sorrows, glancing up at her. At least he had moved on from the whining and shivering aspect and now just seemed to sulk in his seat.

“It’s fucking raining now.” Jacob bemoaned loudly, looking out at the dark sky that had just recently been light and sunny.

“I’m sure they’re moving anything they need to inside. And they say it’s good luck, you know.”

“They made that shit up to comfort the piss poor bride who lost her expensive summer wedding.” Jacob sniffed, and Evie tried not to notice the red puff under his eyes from rubbing them until it became too much.

“Do you want me to put some makeup on that? Get you all dapper?”

“There’s no point,” Jacob said, “there’s not going to be a wedding.”

“I promise you there will be. Everyone’s showed up, besides.”

Jacob sat back, obviously displeased with what she said. But at this point, she couldn’t mince words. It was all or nothing. Both of them were silent for a while before Evie’s phone buzzed, and she checked the notification.

“Here. A video to cheer you up, maybe.”

“Is it a virtual cat poster thing?”

Evie rolled her eyes and pulled up the video Élise had sent her, handing the phone over to Jacob. Jacob pressed the small triangle for play almost absently. The video had some motion in it of the phone being set up, and lean subtly against something small while two people were right in the middle of a conversation. He recognized the visible figure standing in front of one of the small mirrors, undoing and redoing his hair in an anxious manner.

Despite what Jacob thought, his heart did that standard skip it always did upon seeing him. He hadn’t gotten to see him since they arrived and separated, but Arno was half-dressed in his blue shirt and crisp dress pants, bowtie undone haphazardly.

“-don’t get why do you think Jacob is going to regret this? He said yes, didn’t he?”

Faintly he realized it was Élise speaking to Arno, and Arno sounded… panicked.

“He said yes because he didn’t know what he was getting into! I didn’t want that.”

Jacob’s heart sunk, but Arno continued, giving up on his hair with a frustrated groan.

“I’m grateful we did- Were going to do it here. And it’s beautiful. But… I’m not exactly marriage material, Élise. Don’t give me that look, it’s true. I’m an idiot most of the time. What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? And he realizes after a year or two that he doesn’t want to deal with me? It’s his right, but… I’d be heartbroken. And if I hurt him? I love him too much to put him through this.” Arno mumbled something else, sitting in one of the chairs with a dramatic huff and burying his face in his hands. There was one final line Jacob caught. “I’m nothing without him and he’s everything without me.”

Jacob was vaguely aware of Evie shouting about how he could’ve broken her phone, but he didn’t even realize he had dropped it as he hurried off. There could have been more but he didn’t need or care to hear it. He ran off through the hallway, almost knocking over poor waiters and workers alike as he looked for his fucking perfect fiance, who was somewhere thinking that Jacob couldn’t want him more than anything in any sense of the word.

Élise was waiting outside a door, and she barely looked up as Jacob stormed into the room she was near. Arno saw him in the mirror, jumped, and spun around, a tremulous smile playing on his face before it fell.

“What’s wrong, Ja-”

“I love you too, Arno. I said yes because I love you. Yeah, even with your fucking wardrobe and ego and attitude and smarts and good fucking heart.” He blurted out, not letting Arno get in a word edgewise before continuing. “Don’t you ever think you’re anything less than it for me, please.”

“Jacob, darling, mon amour , just breathe.” He held Jacob loosely but tried to get the man to look him straight in the eyes as he spoke. “Where- where is this coming from?”

“I saw the video. Evie had it. Where you said that shit all about you.”

“I- Élise filmed that?” He sent a half-hearted glare as if his sister could see him through the wall, but Jacob held his face and turned him back to look at him.

“I get it if you don’t wanna get married to me. But don’t be a dick to yourself in the process.”

“Of course I want to get married to you. I proposed. And I meant it.” Arno said, serious before turning shy. “I suppose… I just got worried. That I was being selfish by asking somehow.”

Jacob looked down, shyly grabbing Arno’s hand and playing with it. It was a distraction so he didn’t have to watch Arno’s no-doubt judgy gaze. “I was worried. I thought you were making a mistake with all this. With me.”

“I could never. If anything I was worried you’d be making a mistake with me. Compared to you, I’m-”

“You’re not nothing.” Jacob’s head snapped up. “Don’t say that again. ‘Sides,” Jacob ended up giving a half-smile, “I need someone around to keep me in line. That’s worth something, isn’t it?”

Arno smiled and ended up giving a somewhat surprised huff of laughter. He glanced down again. “Looks like we’re both a few idiots.”

“It’s us. I wasn’t expecting things to go perfectly.” Jacob’s smile grew at Arno’s second bit of laughter and it turned a bit sheepish. “So… After all that… Do we want to get married still?”

“If it means I get to have you for good, then of course. If you’re sure you want it as much as I do.” Arno looked up and gave a small smile, but it was brilliant and blinding. “But you’ll need to leave so I can finish getting ready.”

“I dunno. I quite like the idea of undoing your work so far.”

Arno chuckled and gently stopped Jacob’s hands from teasingly going too far up his chest.

“We’ll have the honeymoon for that. I promise.”

“Making me wait so long. Glad I know it’s gonna be worth it.” Jacob grumbled good-naturedly, and leaned in for a tender, chaste kiss. He was only barely pulled away when he spoke again, unable to help it. “I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Arno smiled. “Now. If we want to ‘do the damn thing’, as everyone says, we both have to finish getting ready.”

“Already nagging and we haven’t even exchanged rings.” Jacob grinned and gave him one final kiss before walking out of the room. Élise looked up as he left, and she grinned.

“Glad to see you’re finally acting like adults.”

“I’m definitely doing something at you and my sister’s wedding in return.” Jacob sent her a look, but he was smiling all the same before he hurried back to his room.

The wedding ended up starting just ten minutes behind schedule in one of the halls, hastily set up to work against the rain. But neither of them wanted to rush it.

---------------

Evie wanted to hit them for how much they ended up making everyone cry. There wasn’t a dry eye at the vows, or the kiss, or the reception, and Jacob and Arno held onto each other in a first dance that didn’t consist of anything more than just swaying in place. Evie and Élise sat back at the head table, red hair brushing Evie’s shoulders as Élise leaned on her.

“You think our wedding will be as hectic as theirs?” Evie asked, and Élise rested her chin on Evie’s shoulder as she looked up at her.

“Knowing us? Absolutely.”

Title and work inspired by Getting Married Today from the musical Company!

I hope you enjoy! If you do I have a Masterpost here and more ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day!

[h4ji]

─雨

summary: iwaizumi reminds you of the rain: a sign of life, but when your relationship changes, so does your view of rain.

warnings: infidelity/cheating, gradual relationship change, fluff to angst, & NOT PROOFREAD

wc: 2.5k

req: no

a/n: yes this is a repost, but here’s a fic inspired by the rain from a couple days ago

rain. you could either hate rain or love it, it could bring bad memories or good ones. you loved the rain because it reminded you of iwaizumi: his fresh scent, kisses in the rain, running in the rain, and the wet hair sticking to your forehead. your dates were often accompanied by rain, because of poor planning, but neither of you minded as you simply enjoy being in each other’s presence. the rain is symbolic, you and hajime saw it as renewal, a new spring, a revival of life. you both never saw it as a bad thing.

rainy days were either spent inside, bundled up and watching godzilla or outside, watching the dark grey sky turn into a blue sunny one from the window of a cafe. his calloused and warm hands holding your smaller ones. “haji, look!! the rain is pouring down!” you smile and hajime can’t help but smile at you. he pinches your cheek, “stop being so cute, y/n” he chuckles as you whine for him to stop. what could be better than this, you think. as the rain clear ups, hajime pulls you up and out of the cafe. the scent of fresh air and wet grass evident in your surroundings. rainy days were your favorites, because they reminded you of him. 

it was supposed to rain all week, which delighted you to no extent. but hajime is a busy man, with the olympics so close he couldn’t spend as much time at home. you didn't mind one bit, you supported him every step of the way and as long as he was happy and loved his job, you would be happy for him. “i’m home,” hajime says out loud, his tired frame taking off his shoes as he looks at the floor. and then he hears the pitter patter of your sock covered feet, “welcome home, haji” you smile, hands clasped together in delight before you jump and wrap your arms around him. your giggles fill his ears and he’s never been more delighted to hear it. his toned arms wrap around your frame, “i missed you” he breathes out, and almost instantaneously breaths your scent in. home. this is home. you were his home.

the sound of the rain drumming against the glass of the window, you’re favorite type of day. “haji, look! it’s raining outside” you smile whilst pressing your hand against the cool glass, contemplating whether you’d go outside. but those thoughts died down as soon as hajime declined the offer to go out. and you understood. of course you did! he just came back from a grueling day at work, how could you make him do something like that. this should’ve been the least of your worries

the rain is beautiful. you watch the droplets slide down the window, the sound gradually getting louder. and for some reason, the rain didn’t make you happy anymore. it made you sad. 

you tried to be understanding you really did, but hajime’s appearances at the house were practically nonexistent. where is he… you think as your fingers thump against the window sill, desperately looking outside, for a sign, a sign of hajime. you needed him. you didn’t realize but these symptoms: restlessness, trembling, harsh breaths and this constant worry, were of you having a panic attack. your body curls in on itself, an attempt to find solace in the cold room and the rain. but your lover was nowhere to be seen.

these situations started to make you resent the rain. the rain was no longer a symbol of life, renewal or spring. the thing that reminded you of hajime, the rain, you started to resent… what would this mean for you both. 

hajime could feel it too. the constant distance, an imaginary wall if you will, between you both. where did it go wrong… he frowns. he remembers rainy days being your favorite, so why was the atmosphere so gloomy and depressed, was he missing something? 

his failure to notice your feelings, your complete and utter loneliness, was where he started to go wrong. he failed to notice your constant comparing, he failed to notice your heart slowly breaking, failed to notice the utter loneliness and despair you felt within yourself. he wondered what was wrong, but never voiced his opinions, thinking if they wanted to tell me, they would. this relationship would no longer symbolize the old meaning of rain: fresh and beautiful life, now it symbolized despair, loneliness and tears. you used to wear your heart on your sleeve, it was something he loved about you, but he made you subject to these feelings. not him per say but his lack of… emotion or awareness. did he not notice you suffering? did he not notice you sobbing to yourself? did he care? what happened to you both?

you noticed he had changed. how he no longer mimicked your sadness or no longer pleaded towards it. he seemed much...happier. and your mind wanders, the insecurities biting at your body and mind, telling you that he no longer needed you and that he’d find someone better to appease to him.

he doesn’t come home often, stating that the olympics and his work are of first priority. and you think to yourself… is this why he didn’t notice your depressive state? you were practically screaming in silence, was he that oblivious. the home you lived in together, it no longer felt like home. and that day when hajime came home, he knew, things weren’t how they used to be. the pile of dishes in the sink, the cold dinner on the table, and the loud silence that filled the air. he sees your sleeping frame on the couch, doubled over in despair as the television on with some stereotypical rom com playing. oh how he despised those couples, so cliche and so...unnatural; is that how the two of you used to be?

he walks up to you, his mind internally fighting on whether to wake you up and ask if you were okay, ask if your relationship was okay, or just to let you sleep. he opted for the latter. which was the wrong move on his part.

he came home again the next night, something that was unusual. and this time you were awake, but the mess and emptiness from last night was still present. this befuddled him to no end, what the hell were you doing at home? or were you even at home all day? that day was particularly shitty: it was gloomy, he was tired, stressed, and all of this mess. his loud sighs of annoyance alarm you, the first time you see him in weeks and he’s annoyed with you? 

“do you do anything at all?” iwaizumi snarks out. “it can’t be that fucking hard, can it? i go and work for like 12 hours of the day and all you fucking do is sit on your ass and cry.” and it hurts him to say that to the one he loves, but his insecurities and anger got the best of him. were you at home all day today? were you seeing someone else? he was beyond confused with the two of you.

so he walks out that night. he leaves you alone, in the cold dark house to wallow in self pity and hatred. and as he goes to the bar he realizes, you’re no longer his home. 

as you wallow in a mountain worth of your own tears, you come to terms with the fact that you hate the rain because it reminded you of iwaizumi hajime. 

little do you know on that night he meets a lady. a small, curvy, attention giving and seeking, beautiful lady. her long hair sits perfectly on her shoulders and iwaizumi thinks about how he hasn’t seen you dressed up nicely recently. lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t realize he’s staring at her, but oh she definitely notices. the blush on her cheeks proves just that much, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him. 

when was the last time you reacted to him like this? when did he even see another person that wasn’t you, has it been that long? he internally sighs. but he’s pulled out of his thoughts when he feels a soft and delicate hand on his bicep, “what’s a man like you doin’ here all by yourself” she glistens as she speaks. and iwaizumi swears he hasn’t felt like this in so long. he soaks in all her attention, like a dry sponge soaking all of the water thrown at it. his beautiful smile, the one you adore, shown on full display for the beautiful young lady. That night… he doesn’t think about you, at all. 

nothing seems out of the ordinary when you see him again. the same silent house, no smiles are thrown and it’s just an empty void. 

he sees her again. hell he makes plans with her, he wouldn’t call it a date, god no he wouldn’t. he has you-

“wait,” he thinks, “are we really still together?” he asks, almost in disbelief. you haven’t said a word to each other since iwaizumi bursted out on you. 

he found solace in her: her face, her emotions, her attention, even her body. god, she was everything you weren’t. she was giving him everything you couldn’t emotionally, mentally or physically. he didn’t even realize you working on yourself, all for him. you noticed it too. his persona was back, but who made it come back? certainly not you.

his smile, something he used to be so insecure about, was brighter than ever. but who was he smiling for, you hadn’t spoken in days, no weeks at this point. maybe work was getting better, you tried to convince yourself. “hajime, would never EVER do that to me... would he?” you think as tears well up in your eyes. hajime was your everything, he was your stability in time’s of weakness, he was your other half, but unfortunately for you he’s starting to not think the same.  

you see him home for the first time in 3 weeks, he looks happy and you smile at him. he’s surprised to see you greeting him, and he greets you with a hug and kiss to your temple. you’d never even guess that he was seeing someone behind your back. hajime reminded you of the rain, that fact never changed. this new symbol of rain resembles heartbrokenness. the sun in your life is covered by grey disgusting clouds. 

for months he continues this affair, the other woman giving him the support and love he no longer comes to you for. he holds her hand as she sleeps, while your hand lays sprawled out against his side of the bed. the rain hits the window, like that fateful day and your eyes well up in realization, “olympics season is over, where is he?”. your palm curls in on itself, the sobs racking up your body and they echo in the room. for the first time in months, the rain brings you comfort as you cry out all the insecurity and self hatred you’ve kept in. this is a ritual that continues for the rest of the week, wearing iwa’s sweater and crying as you long for his comfort or even his presence. his scent starts to fade from the house and rather it smells like the rain, the fresh rain that reminded you of him. that night, you grab your phone and press on iwa’s contact, and you type before your mind could process. “i miss you, can you please come home?” “what the hell did i do?” “please”, and you despised how desperate you sounded, but you needed him. however, your messages fell on deaf ears as he made love to this girl, he was pounding into her with so much love while you cried out for him in despair. he didn’t care about you anymore, he didn’t need you like you needed him. he was no longer your home.

the next night he came home, you noticed the love bites and nail marks, that which were so clearly not yours. he sleeps next to you, for the first time in weeks, but he feels so distant. it doesn’t even feel like he’s there. there’s no love in that bed. 

you think you’d be used to it, feeling alone while next to him, but you weren’t. You finally had him to yourself and he didn;t even spare you a glance. you had an idea that he was no longer interested, but you couldn’t fathom this. his phone lights up like crazy, said girl texting him, asking him when he would come back to her, when he would end things with you and saying after that they could finally be together, with no worries or barriers. your hand reaches out for his phone, opening up the password he made sure you knew by heart, which revealed all the messages with her. in these messages he professes his love for her, saying that he wishes they could start a family together and how he could just let go of the burden that he felt from you. 

sure he felt bad, you were his first s/o, you’d always have a special place in his heart. but he couldn’t bring himself to care when he felt bound to you, a relationship with no love or affection, no care, nothing at all. if he told himself a couple years ago that this is where you both would be, he wouldn't believe it, at all. you were each other’s first: first kiss, first sexual experience, first significant other, first everything. but the relief he felt when he heard you crying was abnormal, but all he could think of was “i’m free”. he heard your sobs as you looked at all the messages, he felt you shaking beside him. part of him wanted to reach out to you, wanted to console the broken person in front of him, but another part of him said that he was finally free to do as he pleases, he wouldn't be bound by a loveless relationship and he sure as hell wasn’t going to be anymore. like said before, he feels bad, really bad, for lying for cheating, but he felt like he had no other option with you. you always found a way to make him stay and he couldn’t fucking take it anymore. besides, how could he feel bad when the person he loves was hiding in the confinement of his phone and not next to him every night. he couldn’t tell anyone how much he loved this girl because of you, but now he was free, free to do as he pleases.

iwaizumi hajime reminded you of the rain. but rain has different meanings. iwaizumi hajime reminded you of love, happiness and spring. your relationship also reminded you of rain, the gloominess, depression, spiritual death and bad omens. but now the rain reminded you of new life: the new life you’d face without hajime, the rebirth of your soul and heart,  the resurrection of happiness in your life, rain isn’t so bad anymore.

[trentaafcsblog]

Writing Challenge - Angst

“Please say something” - Leon Goretzka

Thank you to the beautiful @penguintransporter for this one 🤍

The corridor of the familiar Gründerzeit residential building seemed to be darker than it used to be; longer and wider, and yet, it was the same as when she had left it, thinking that it would be the last time that she was walking the black-and-white, tiled floor.

There was still the same dried out monstera plant in the corner, the same advertisements on the cork-board, same basket for the wet umbrellas that no one really used, and the same line-up of the vintage lamps mounted on the wall – illuminating the darkness which seemed to be present even in the middle of the sunniest days.

Emelie had to take a deep breath, exhaling softly.

To say that it didn’t feel strange to be there again, after seven months, would be a lie, and as she made her way towards the winding stairway that would take her to the fourth floor, she felt a wave of melancholy wash over her. Everything was the same, and yet it felt so different – walking down the corridor without stopping to check their mailbox, holding onto the railing, yet feeling detached from it as if she wasn’t really present; seeing only his name written on a silver plate on the doors.

She didn’t belong there any more.

Her hand was shaking as she knocked on the doors, and taking an insecure step back, she breathed out a slight and nervous breath she was holding in. She hadn’t seen nor spoken to Leon since she had moved out, wheeling the last bits of her belongings in a small suitcase while he was still at the training, proudly keeping her tears away – a flower pot with devil’s ivy pressed against her chest.

Seven months of denial, fake smiles, and crying when no one could see her.

Seven months of telling herself that she will be okay, that she needed to accept that he wasn’t part of her life any more, and that she had to move on and try to forget.

As if that was an easy thing to do.

Emelie’s heartbeat quickened when she heard the familiar sound of the locks being twisted, and when he finally opened the doors, she felt as if there was no air left in her lungs—just painful scratches while she tried to stay composed.

“Hi, Emelie,” he greeted her, giving her a small tight-lipped smile, and she waved shyly, as if they were just some random strangers, and not two people who have spent more than five years sharing the ups and downs, laughter and tears, sorrow and happiness.

“How have you been?” Emelie asked, trying to keep her voice steady, but under Leon’s gaze, she felt like she was about to crumble any second. “Sorry, I am a bit late, you know – the traffic…as usual,” she trailed off nervously as if she needed to explain herself for being late.

“Don’t worry,” Leon nodded before leaning against the door frame casually, sticking both of his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. “I’ve been good. Yourself?”

“Same,” she smiled weakly, but his face expression didn’t change, as if he knew she was lying; as if he didn’t care. “I’ve been good, too.”

She wasn’t.

Emelie missed him, more than she dared to admit out loud, and no amount of overcrowded clubs every other weekend, new haircuts, and listening to her friends and family badmouth him—none of it helped. If anything it made her only feel miserable, lonely and reminiscent of what she once had with Leon.

They were each other’s worlds, centers of gravity – pulling one another, reading each other’s mind, and Emelie knew that what she had with him will stick to her for as long as she's breathing. Impossible to erase — a part of her body; a vital organ that kept her alive.

“Do you want to come in? We don’t have to talk at the doors,” Leon suddenly asked, pushing himself away from the door frame with ease, “it’s a bit weird, no?”

Emelie didn’t know what to say, so she only shrugged in response. She knew that it was a bad idea to follow him, and yet, when he stepped aside, her legs carried her inside as if she had no power over them, and before she knew it, Leon was closing the doors behind her, trapping her in the hallway of the place she once used to call home.

It still smelled the same - airy and clean. The walls were still white, and the side-table was still littered with envelopes, magazines, and random leaflets of his favourite take-away restaurants. His raincoat still hung where it used to, and his sports bag was on the ground, haphazardly discarded, as many times before.

The only thing that was missing was a framed photograph that used to hang on the wall – the two of them on their first hiking trip together all those years ago – all smiles and slightly sunburnt under the Pyrenees’ sun. Emelie felt her eyes brimming with tears as she stared at the discoloured spot on the wall – a simple square of shadow, silently narrating their story – a story of something that used to be, but it's not anymore.

“I am sorry,” she whispered, looking away from the wall – words rolling off of her tongue on their own accord—unstructured and unplanned. 

“For what?” he asked, picking up the box that was on the floor behind him. “For the package? It’s okay. I don’t blame your aunt for sending you a present to this address. It was probably a force of a habit. Stuff like this happens.”

Emelie forced herself to nod – her emotions boiling inside of her. 

She wasn’t sorry for the present that was delivered nto the wrong address – far from it. Emelie was sorry for everything she had done, had said, and how she acted in the past; all the times she was overprotective, jealous and overbearing. She was sorry for all the matches she had missed because she was selfishly needing time for herself, she was sorry for letting go of what they had; for not fighting harder.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she finally managed to say, taking the box out of his hands before holding it to her chest, and hooking her finger around the cord that held it together.

There was a brief moment of silence as Leon looked down at his watch before glancing at her. “Well…,” he started, running a hand through his hair, and Emelie could remember how his locks felt under her own fingertips—soft like a feather; comforting.

“Leon—,” she started before stopping to take a deep breath.

“Yeah?”

Now or never.

“I will probably regret this later, but I’m—I feel like I need to…” Emelie began, surprising herself with her own courage as she hugged the box tighter. It wasn’t particularly heavy, but in that moment, it weighed like a tonne. “I lied when I said that I am feeling good, because I am not,” she stopped for a second, sucking in a deep breath—her chest feeling like if it was on fire, “—I’m aware that the last year of our relationship wasn't something to be proud of, we misunderstood each other, and we said some really awful things we never should have said, but, Leon…” Emelie felt the tears prickling her eyes yet again as she glanced back at the square shadow on the wall, “Leon, I miss you. I miss what—“

“—Emelie,” he interrupted her, running a hand through his hair in frustration as he took a step back, but she couldn’t think straight. 

Her brain was racing, her heart was breaking all over again, and she needed to get rid of the heaviness that was pressing on her chest.

“Please…,” she whispered, glancing down at her shoes – the uneven wrinkles on the sides of her red Vans greeting her, “—do you think we can give it another try? We fought before and we always...”

Emelie bit down at her lip, not able to continue her thoughts. 

“Emmie,” he finally whispered, still avoiding to look at her, and her heart soared at the sound of the nickname he had for her. No one else called her Emmie. No one, but him. “Don’t ask me that…why are you doing this?”

“I think if we only sat down—talked the things through, no?” Her words were leaving her mouth quickly and desperately – running free after being trapped for too long. “I'm doing this because I still love you.”

There it goes. Four little words to break her all over again.

“Emelie,” Leon sighed quietly - both of his hands cradling his face.

They stood in silence, and below the surface of the pain she felt, Emelie was falling deeper and deeper into abyss of regret. Each second felt like an eternity; each intake of a breath unnerving and more painful than the previous one. She was watching him – his jaw clenching as he looked everywhere but her.

“Please, can you just say something?" Emelie asked in a small and timid voice, "Leon, it’s me, please—”

“—What do you want me to say, Emelie? I didn’t expect any of this—” His voice was louder than before, and it made her take a step back, and not because she was scared, but because she realised what she had done. “I miss us too sometimes, but I—,” he looked down at his own sock-clad feet. “I’ve been moving on Emelie. It's been seven months.”

“Oh—,”

“—I am seeing someone else.”

Emelie didn’t say anything, fighting back the tears as she took another small step backwards – her hands feeling sweaty as she brought the box closer to the chest. Leon was watching her – his face full of concern and a mixture of realisation, but she just smiled at him – brave as big girls do before turning around, putting her hand around the door handle; lingering for a second.

“I am happy for you,” she whispered, "I'm happy you're able to move on."

“I’m sorry, Emmie."

“Don’t be.”

Emelie felt nothing, and yet she felt thousands different emotions as she made her way downstairs. Like a ghost, she floated in the sea of the memories – tears trapped on the surface of her eyes. Pushing the heavy doors open, she exited in the sunny afternoon before looking up at the big window on the fourth floor, only to find him watching her – arms resting against the window sill.

With a small wave, she smiled up at him – one of the smiles that only a heartbroken people knew how to paint on their faces, and crossing the road, she turned her back to the past she once thought was her future.

“You wear your heartbreak like your body is a world at war; and every time a soldier dies within it he whispers one last word, and always, it is your name.” - N.G

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