#straightn’t

[half-straight07]

Uh Half-Straight Club?

“What are we?”

“Straightn’t!”

“Are you sure that applies to the both of us?”

“We’re the same person”

[treesareppltoo]

the idea that explaining homosexuality to kids will confuse them makes no sense to me.

when i was in elementary school (like around age 7ish) i went to a classmates house for a birthday party and they had two moms but literally none of us gave a shit. like “oh, you have two moms instead of a mom and a dad? cool. can we have cake now?”

[cosmicluci]

I’ve been playing June’s Journey, and just wanted to share my appreciation for this subtly straightn’t moment

[faggot-friday]

Sexuality crisis my beloathed

[butterfrogmantis]

ARRRRRR YA READY KIDS?

Well, it happened. I got attached to the pirate crew and then other people got attached to the pirate crew and now we have a small crew! (with more potentials from other people I just had to put a cap on it yesterday)

Captain Bluebeard (Born: Blueblood Smurf) was the son of wealthy noblesmurfs who were murdered by pirates. As an adolescent he joins a sailing crew which is then plundered by pirates, and he’s given the option to die or join their side. He switches for fear of his life and spends years at sea as a pirate, until his ship is captured by Navy Smurfs. Blueblood narrowly escapes his execution and goes on to continue a life of piracy, having gotten a taste for it. He serves as the first mate aboard the ship that murdered his parents until overthrowing the captain, which is where he earns his title (and by now in his 400’s, his impressive beard, which becomes his new name and symbol).

Bluebeard starts a new crew under the name of “The Devil’s Sarsaparilla”

Bluebeard is … powerful man. Ruthless and merciless to his enemies and fiercely protective of his crew, essentially. He’s no stranger to high sea battles or negotiations or the ‘persuasion’ of Navy secrets via unscrupulous methods but he’s also a surprisingly fair boss and the crew, in return, are loyal to him which is how he maintains such a strong position.

Cutthroat was a pirate aboard the first ship Bluebeard was part of, but he’d traded ships before it was captured. Bluebeard knows him to be a cunning Smurf and good fighter and invited him on, and Cutthroat is honoured at the chance to be his first mate and lord his positon of authority over the rest of the crew (something Cutthroat loves to gloat about). An arguably even more bloodthirsty man than even the captain, Cutthroat has no patience for the shenanigans of the crewmen and delights in reporting Scallywag’s antics to Bluebeard so he may ‘deliver suitable punishment’.

Another weird thing to note about Cutthroat is that his stance on relationships often times comes across as extremely ‘holier than thou’ and very much into ‘marriage before anything’ and can be borderline homophobic, despite the fact he’s so clearly in love with Bluebeard in some other sense of the word. (This is the character that’s lowkey just a mockery of a certain someone’s stuff to make Cutthroat seem nonsensical to the other character’s and even more ruthless and also his descendant Brainy is gay so ya boo sucks to him). Note this ONLY applies to Cutthroat, Bluebeard himself doesn’t really care what his crew are into as long as they’re good pirates and whilst I can’t speak for other people’s ocs Swashbuckler is … well idk but he’s straightn’t so he takes extra delight in helping Scallywag hide a lobster in Cutthroat’s pillow.

Cookie … really should not be on a pirate ship? Note it’s possible she has a nature name but the crew call her Cookie after her speciality biscuits. She’s a sweetheart and despite the plundering’s of her crewmate remains as such. There’s rumours she’s the aunt of one of the men who was just like ‘yeah ik we’re pirates but she’ll turn the nasty slop we’ve been eating into a 5 star meal’ so Bluebeard was just like ‘eh’ and Cookie became the ship’s mom. That’s not to say she doesn’t have her own secrets …

@chaoticsimp15's bean Herbalist! A transmasc pioneer of natural medicines and a worthy adversary to the ship where cuts and stab wounds are plentiful. Herbalist lost an arm to amputation following a poisoning and despite run ins with other dangerous plants like the kind that almost took his eye, has developed an interest in them and his knowledge of healing herbs makes him a well-respected member aboard the ship, who even Cutthroat has to give some level of respect after having his life saved a couple times.

@coconuttyglittersmurf 's bean Anne! (Queen Anne's Lace) Dreamt of a life of piracy and ran away to join a crew. Bluebeard may have been dubious about her apparent naivety at first but Anne shows good prowess with a sword, dedication and loyalty, all things Bluebeard needs and he’s an equal opportunity employer (diversity win, the murderous pirate is a feminist) and I think perhaps Cookie would become fond of her :)

@schtroumpfalunettes’s bean Rosemary! Became friends with Anne (Anne Bonny and Mary Read parallel) and joins as another buccaneer. Highly enthusiastic, cuts down enemies with glee. I see a scene of Bluebeard standing there in the back watching her go ham on a rival pirate boat and being like ‘dang glad she be me crew’

@a-doodling-tanuki 's bean! Scallywag :) As described by them, Scally was picked up from a pirate wreckage where they thought he was a smurfling and would make a good cabin boy, only to realise he was in fact an adult of diminutive stature, so Scally became a steward instead (general cleaning and maintenance of the ship, often works under Cookie as a sous chef) Best friend and fellow fun-haver with Swashbuckler, often scolded and told off by Cutthroat and Bluebeard and forced to mop the decks as punishment.

The man of the hour; Swashbuckler (cheering noises). Swashbuckler had been a cabin boy and sailor on merchant ships as a child, but after the death of his father he turned to piracy in order to steal medications for his younger sister who suffered with a weakened immune system. Swashbuckler loved the freedom and loot piracy brought and less so the plunder and murder – he was a good hearted Smurf and a lover of jokes, but he was also an excellent swordsman and a fierce opponent in a duel. It was perhaps his youthful ego and lack of experience that ultimately cost him.

Skelly’s sister! I’ve decided not to name her since that’s kind of a key part of the lore of Skelly not remembering, F. But since Skelly remembers seeing her in his dreams & she’s Tuffy’s direct ancestor, I can * certainly * design her >:)

+ Uncensored death art

Bluebeard, Cutthroat, Cookie, Swashbuckler and his sister are mine

Other oc's are tagged above!

Franchise and descendants (c) The Smurfs

[flatassed-mongoose]

im curious

im pan who hates to drive but i can

my bff is ace who likes to fucking race

[pomegranatecookiez]

i feel like starting some shit so im just gonna come out and say it. the way devsisters treats m/m relationships (and honestly? any kind of straightn’t relationship) is really starting to bug me

its not at a point where i feel comfortable calling it “queerbaiting” but by god it is getting close. i was already iffy on the way they treated espresseleine (remember the valentines day post? i try not to) but the way wildberry and crunchy chip were written in odyssey and ESPECIALLY odyssey chapter three really sealed the deal for me in terms of, yeah, theyre pandering to fujoshis here. it hasnt been long since odyssey ended but i have a gut feeling that wildberry and crunchy arent gonna show up again for a long time, if ever. which when you consider how often they dipped their toes into “hohohoehoho oh man isnt this kinda gay? aint this kinda fruity” territory (the scene where wildberry carries him. they absolutely knew what they were doing) without ever doing anything that implies any kind of unambiguous romantic attraction between them started to feel really skeevy the longer it went on. like, haha, look at these two guys being stupid and gay together. too bad you’re probably never gonna see them again and we’re never gonna elaborate beyond that lol :) i could be proven wrong but i’d be genuinely surprised if i was.

and thats not even getting into how they have a tendency to use same sex crushes for comedic purposes. theres milk cookies crush on dark choco which, at this point, can NOT be interpreted as anything other than romantic. and while not a m/m example, pomegranate’s in a similar situation where they’ve done everything to imply she has some kind of psychosexual obsession with dark enchantress cookie that isn’t just making her say “man i sure do wanna fuck my boss” in the game itself. thankfully sea fairy and moonlight’s relationship hasn’t been used to tease fans or played for laughs, but that should be the standard, not the exception. 

it’s important to mention that cookie run generally hasn’t dabbled in any kind of explicit romantic relationships between its characters until recently, mint choco and cocoa cookie’s relationship is the first time they’ve shown it so openly and even then, they aren’t officially dating. but still, their relationship is played completely seriously, while gay ships, m/m ships especially, have to linger in some weird state of either being used for comedic effect, or used to tease fans who start foaming at the mouth uncontrollably when two men have any interaction that could be interpreted as even SLIGHTLY homoerotic.

i dunno man, just. let two men have a relationship on the same level as mint choco and cocoa’s without it being played for goofs. stop using pomegranate cookie’s unhealthy obsession with a woman who it’s heavily implied is manipulating her for “haha shes a SIMP” jokes. i know its a little dumb of me to expect good lgbt representation from a gacha game owned by a big company but they’ve done a good job with handling things like nonbinary characters and AGAIN we have sea fairy and moonlight proving they can do it at least somewhat decently and. im tired

[animrumru]

Student council headcanons

Kirari: gay asf

Sayaka: Kirari-sexual

Kaede: straight

Yuriko: demisexual

Midari: gay asf

Yumemi: baby gay

Runa: acesexual

Yumeko: bisexual

Mary: demisexual

Ryota: straight

Itsuki: straightn’t

[beepborpdoodledorp]

it is officially the month of the straightn’t and cisn’t 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[mamawasatesttube]

fun fact every time I read the title of straight on till morning my brain autocorrects it to straightn’t

also I adore that fanfiction & just read the most recent chapter and aaaaaaaaaa so good I love it so much and for the record I would kill for these characters like I loved them before but your writing just like. amplified that idk but it’s fantastic

also would you be ok w it if I drew fanart?

straightn'til morning. i love it lkdflkjdls

thank you so much!!!! that makes me very happy to hear!!! and oh my gosh yes absolutely, all i ask is that you include a link to the fic somewhere in there and @ me so i can see it!!!!!!! thank you, i'm honored that youd want to!!! <3 <3

[4suitedplayingcard]

My life is a never ending descent into madness and I’m also very straightn’t.

[an-absolute-trainwreck]

Ok in the spirit of pride here be the tale of how I knew I was gay.

Background: I was a 9 or 10 year old “girl”. I live in this super rural conservative town and do dance a town over at this little Christian dance studio.

We’re placed in our new classes and I see who I thought was just the prettiest girl in the world. She was a year or two older than me and one of the best dancers in the class. Like I cannot put into words how big my crush on this girl was lmao. But i didn’t know it at the time.

So we go through our dance classes and eventually we get to our recital. There had been a bunch of technical difficulties throughout the night, and our dance was no different. About half way through the music started skipping and repeating, but like the committed little ballet children we were, we continued on.

Now, in this dance we all had individual solos. Mine was third or something like that. Obviously, these would normally go off of the music cues, but the music was fucked so we had to wing it.

But, you know, two people went before me. I should’ve easily been able to just yk go after the last girl.

But I was totally distracted by just staring at the girl I had the massive crush on. Totally missed my cue. When she realized I wasn’t going she whispered my name like “dude, go” and I did

But yeah. That’s how I knew I was straightn’t.

We were eventually placed in different classes but I would still see her around occasionally and still thought she was super pretty until she was around… idk 14? And I would’ve been 12. And she started acting like a mean popular girl and I stopped liking her and quit dance lmfao

[nightmare8-420]

oh god chat jts so jover for me fuck fuckkkk im so gay straightn’t i cant take it

HHHFBFNFGNCNNC

why do they care so much for me

SRSLY WHY DO THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR ME I CANT YNFERSTQNDNUREHWN

[cactuskat]

hope no one has dont this yet

[flat-as-a-board]

wait.

i’m the gay cousin

[ghost-writer143]

Today on how the hell have I convinced my parents, and literally anyone, I’m straight:

This picture of one of my OC’s