#submit your guesses now /j

[heartmush]

whatever could she be drawing... 🎃

[luvrodite]

BLOOD IN YOUR MOUTH JASON TODD (college!au)

↳ the first time jason kisses you he's bloody and bruised, and you can't find him more attractive for it

cw: injury, blood, mentioned harassment (not of the reader)

blank blogs DNI you will be blocked

The first time Jason kisses you, he’s bloody and standing underneath a streetlight outside the bar he’s just been kicked out of. You’re utterly enamoured.

It is a Saturday afternoon, and you’ve just submitted your last midterm when the text comes through. The outline of his name on your phone sends a thrill down your spine, and you can’t help the curl of excitement. 

J-A-S-O-N. 

You trace your eyes over the letters, the blank contact photo doing little to curb the butterflies. They’re no less stronger than when he’d asked you for your number, a warm afternoon after class when the both of you had found your way to the your usual table in the library. You recall the reason he’d used, recall the slant of his mouth as he’d talked, the clutch of his bag in his fingers, the way the light had bent through the window and caught the dust floating above the table. You recall suddenly warm palms, fingertips hot to the touch as you saved his number when the first message had come through. 

>> come out tonight?

You frown.

While it’s true that since the beginning of the semester you’ve gotten to know Jason better and as a not entirely unpleasant consequence, been better about hiding away, you’re still tired from the back to back assignments you’ve had to turn in. You’d much rather turn in for the weekend. 

And yet, when it comes to the handsome boy you’d met in your literature class last semester, you find it hard to say no. You want to hang out with him so badly sometimes it feels embarrassing. You wonder if it’s obvious how you both soak up his attention and shy away from it. Even months later, you find yourself bashful around him.

As if sensing your hesitation, another two messages come through almost immediately, in rapid succession.

>> it’ll be fun

>> dinner’s on me btw

You chew your lip, staring down at the message. 

<< i'm kind of tired idk

<< where do you wanna go

The text bubble appears as you begin to pack your things, sweeping papers off your desk and into a neat pile, collecting cluttered pens and highlighters. The last week has turned your bedroom into something akin to a disaster site, clothes strewn everywhere and sheets rumpled. You bite back a groan at the thought of the cleaning you’ll have to do. 

>> i know a place like ten minutes away from campus

>> drinks after?

<< presumptuous

<< i haven't even agreed

>> ok so agree !

>> it’ll be a good time

You huff out a laugh at his tone, typing out a response.

<< who else is going?

>> just you and me kid

>> be excited

>> i’ll drop you home if you wanna leave after dinner

In the bathroom now, tidying the mess of skin and hair products, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You tilt your head, and your reflection does too, as if to say, well? Will you?

You text him your response.

<< ok when should i meet you?

<< send me the address

Jason is lingering outside the restaurant when you walk up, and you take a moment to admire him as you approach, hands in his pockets and shoulders slouched, relaxed. His hair looks wet, and orange light washes over him where he stands beneath an awning, a sky of darkening blue behind him. As if sensing your approach, he turns his head from where he’s been looking at something across the street and his eyes light up in recognition. Your name tumbles from his lips and he takes a step forward as you cross the distance.

“Hey,” he greets you, smiling down at you. “You made it.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” you murmur. His lips stretch into a wider grin and you catch a glimpse of his canines, wolf sharp, a shiver curling down your spine at the sight.

“Guess you did. I’m glad. Come on,” he says, jerking his chin and reaching for the door, letting you enter first. “I think you’ll like this place.”

His shirt brushes against your back, and you swallowed by the sheer size of him, tall and broad shouldered, but it feels reassuring to have him there, especially as the hostess makes eye contact with you and he smoothly coordinates everything. His hand bumps against your elbow as she leads you both to a table and he murmurs out an apology at the same time you do, habitually, shooting you a funny look when he hears you, like he’s amused.

You’re seated across from him at a table so small his knees bump against yours beneath the table and he laughs a little when you say sorry once again. It isn’t the first time you’ve hung out with him, or the first time you’ve gotten food together–a semester has come and gone since your meeting him, and now the fall semester has started up again, but he has a way of short-circuiting your system, earnest and straightforward and far prettier than he has any right to be. You aren’t used to boys like him–though a voice in your head suggests that there isn’t anyone else like him. 

You offer him a small smile when he laughs. 

“Can’t believe they stuck us here,” he says to you, dropping his voice as a waiter passes your table. You look over to where a fair few tables far larger than yours remain unoccupied, and grimace in sympathy. “At least the food is good.”

You look up from the menu, sparing him a glance. He’s all rounded edges and sweeter looking in the soft light. You look back down.

“You’ve been here before?” you ask, feeling silly for the question but he nods.

“My brother took me, when I first moved out here,” he says, scratching idly at his cheek. Teal eyes skim the plastic menu. “We come here whenever he comes to visit.”

“Older brother?” you guess and he hums. 

“Dick,” he says, and his eyes widen when you stare at him. “His name, I mean. That’s his name…Richard, but he goes by..yeah.”

“Oh,” you laugh, as your pulse flutters under your skin. “Bet he gets a lot of flack for that.”

“You have no idea,” he snorts, launching into a story that has you covering your mouth to stifle your laughter. 

Somehow, dinner flies by faster than you think it would, a blur of stories from both your childhood and his. Jason asks questions and you don’t feel as though you’ve been put on the spot, pleasantly warm as you answer through your own laughter. The bubbles from your drink linger and pop on your tongue, and there’s a flush in your face that you blame wholly on him and his teal eyes, attentive and animated as he describes his family.

The both of you are pushing out of the door after an argument about splitting the bill (“I said I would pay, get lost!” and “I didn’t even agree to that!”) that had left you pouting and Jason smug. The rush of air that greets you is cool against your heated cheeks, and you smile to yourself as the both of you step out into the street.

“So?” Jason asks and you turn to him. “Was I right? It was good, huh?”

And he looks so pleased with himself that even if you hadn’t enjoyed a bit of it, you wouldn’t have it in you to tell  him.

“It was,” you agree and his smile grows broader.

You lapse in conversation for a moment, and a breeze ruffles his hair on its way through the lit street. It’s grown fairly busier as night falls, crowds of people out to enjoy their weekend, and you step closer to Jason as a particularly large group passes you, falling into step by his side to avoid bumping into them.

“So..home?” he asks, tentative.

“I think so.” You chew the bottom of your lip. “I got up early to get in the finishing touches on my midterm.”

His eyes go soft, almost immeasurably fond, as he gazes down at you. “Of course you did. Alright, c’mon, then. Let’s get you home.”

He takes your hand gently, fingers circling your wrist loosely and guiding you down the busy street. You find yourself appreciative of this, even as the butterflies erupt anew in your stomach at the touch, his body carving a path in the flow of foot traffic that you can fall into easily without worry of getting lost. 

The both of you walk in silence, the sounds of the city filling in the gaps around you. You admire the outline of Jason’s profile in front of you, light from the cars and storefronts washing over the both of you and throwing him into sharp technicolour focus in front of you. You feel a little dizzy at the sight of it, and looking down to where your hands join only worsens it, rendering you soft and pliant in his hold, tracing his footsteps with your own. 

And then, all of a sudden, you’re coming to a halt in front of a parking lot next to a bar, nearly colliding with his back. You blink, equal parts sleepy and stunned, peering over his shoulder where he’s stiffened up. 

“What?” you ask. He reaches into his pocket with his free hand, and turns around to pass you a set of keys. You frown, confused, following his finger when he points to an old, red car just a few feet away.

“That’s my car, I’m just gonna go check on something over there,” he says, tipping his head back to gesture to the bar. “Can you get it started for me? I won’t be long.”

“Is everything okay?” you ask, and now you’re the one holding his wrist as he turns, taking a half step after him. He looks back at you, and his mouth relaxes, offering you a reassuring nod.

“‘S fine, sweetheart,” he assures, pushing you gently in the direction of his car. “Be back in a sec.”

But curiosity roots you to the pavement where you stand, and you watch as he walks to the entrance of the bar, where murky yellow light spills out onto the walkway. Several bench tables have been pushed together on the outer side of the path, smaller tables with high stool chairs pressed against the exterior wall of the establishment. It’s fairly empty outside, all the patrons seeking shelter from the chilly weather inside and you step a little closer to see when Jason, shoulders set like a man on a mission, crosses the threshold and disappears into the building.

You creep a little closer, keys clutched in your fingers, until you can get a look through the windows. They’re a little stained, but you find Jason eventually, crowding close to a pool table where a boy around your age is leaning down, cue stick pointed against green felt. His back is to the window, but you watch the guy pause and straighten up, annoyance clear on his face even as he tries to cover it up with a smile you don’t think you like too much, self-assured and a little mean. There isn’t any friendliness in it. 

Outside, the wind begins to pick up and you’re wondering whether you should just return to the car–every bad thing in the movies happens because people can’t mind their own business–when suddenly, so fast you almost miss it, his fist flies out and knocks right into Jason. You jump in surprise, a hand flying to your mouth to muffle the startled yell that slips out. 

But Jason is seemingly unphased, and you catch a glimpse of blood in his mouth as he– smiles. It’s nothing like the smiles you’ve ever seen, wild and a little feral as he lunges forward, knuckles slamming against the boy’s cheek and sending him sprawling across the tabletop. He just gets that hit in before he’s being restrained and hauled back to the door, shoved across the threshold with no regard for gentleness. He stumbles, and that grin is still curving his mouth up when he looks up, wolfish, savage, and–it stutters when he meets your eyes.

You stare back, wide eyed at the sight of him. His keys hang limply in your hand, forgotten in favour of their owner whose nose has begun to bleed down his chin, drippin onto the collar of his shirt and staining it crimson. 

“I–thought I told you to wait in the car,” he says weakly, at last. 

“What was that?” you ask, dazed, ignoring him. You look between him and the windows of the bar, where you can still see the other boy, holding a tea towel to his split cheek. 

His lips part, and he looks away as if to search for an answer he does not have. Like a magnet, your gaze flicks down. You swallow at the smear of red that settles above his cupid’s bow, dark, almost black as the shadows on his face stretch.

“Jason.” You stress his name. He grimaces.

“I didnt-” he breaks off, letting out a loud sigh. “I knew him, okay? Didn’t do that for no reason.”

You wait, sensing the oncoming explanation. By his side, you spot the reddening skin of his knuckles, looking at home amongst the pale, faded scars.

“He’s a dick,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. It seems almost shy, the way his fingers press against his lips as he tells you the truth. “He’s in one of my classes and he was giving one of the other guys a hard time ‘cause..” 

His face hardens and you fear he’s about to go back into the bar. You hedge a step forward to clutch his sleeve. He shakes his head. You don’t let go. “Anyway, he had it coming. If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been someone else. He was bothering some girl in there too, when I saw him…piece of shit.”

Affection blooms between your ribs so suddenly it leaves you breathless, and you stare up at him, stunned.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he blows out a breath, watching you carefully. 

“I thought you’d hit him harder,” you blurt out, and his eyes widen. He lets out a tired laugh, wincing in between snickers.

“Don’t think you’re s’posed to agree with me, baby,” he murmurs, drawing closer. You’ve probably stretched his sleeve out with your grip, but you make no move to let go. Baby. It fits in his mouth, belongs to him, even. He’s claimed it now. 

“Right,” you breathe out, blinking up at his face. The air goes still, the undercurrents of adrenaline re-igniting with the trip of your voice over the five letter word. There is no admonishment in your tone, and teal eyes turn onyx in half a breath, lashes fluttering as he looks at you. “Violence…is bad..”

His eyes crease, amused, but he’s barely moving, and his voice comes out a little strangled. “Word of advice, don’t ever go into politics.”

“You don’t believe me?” you joke quietly and he huffs out a laugh. Once more, your gaze snags on the glimpse of his canines, peeking from below his lips, pointed and shiny.

You can smell the blood on him when he takes a step closer, the toes of his sneakers scuffing against yours. You look at him clearly, awash with the yellow light of the street, bloody and bruising. He’s lucky that he isn’t due back on campus for another two weeks, but you have a feeling it wouldn’t matter either way–he’s no less attractive to you. It should concern you that you find blood a good look on him, or that the savagery in his smile only made your heart beat a little faster, but you can only stare through half lidded eyes at him.

Somewhere down the road, the roar of an engine filters through the air, but you pay it little attention when he draws closer, closer, closer. 

You aren’t sure who moves first, only that Jason kisses you for the first time underneath that streetlight, and the taste of copper in your mouth only presses you closer into him, clutching his sleeve and hoping it leaves as much of a mark that he’s left on you. 

i hope this made u guys feel as insane reading it as it made me writing it (and trying to post it, but for a different reason). something about a man covered in his own blood...

[topguncortez]

Speak Now ~ J. Seresin

Hangman Masterlist | Main Masterlist

synopsis: Jake gets a wedding invite from the girl he's still in love with. Based off of Speak Now (TV) by Taylor Swift

word count: 4.1k

warnings: cursing, break-ups, runaway bride, miscommunication

Jake knew you probably hated the invites. You had told him over and over that you never wanted a big wedding, you wanted something small. You had agreed with your mom to not just go to the courthouse, but would at least do something a little bigger. Jake ran his fingers over the pale pink paper that was decorated with flowers and had your name and your fiancé’s name written in gold cursive letters. He knew you were somewhere screaming and pulling your hair out.

‘PLEASE JOIN US FOR THE CEREMONY OF MATRIMONY OF Y/N M/N AND BILLY “FRITZ” AVALON’

“Yeah, I just got it,” Jake said to Coyote. He had called his best friend the moment he saw the light pink envelope in his mailbox, “I looked up the address, it’s a church. She always said she wouldn’t get married in a church, she was worried it would burn down around her,”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Javy said, “She must be a different person now, when was the last time you talked to her?”

“I don’t know 2-3 years ago. I heard Bob ask Nat if she had figured out a bridesmaid dress yet,” Jake sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I guess it was for this.”

“Did you expect anything less? They’re best friends.”

Jake shrugged knowing his friend couldn’t see him, “I don’t think I’m gonna go,”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why would I go? To submit myself to the torture of watching her marry someone else? Watching someone else give her the life I couldn’t give her?” Jake said angrily, the images of their last fight filled his mind. He looked over to the front door from his kitchen, the replay of you walking out the door, with your bags packed and tears in your eyes was forever burned into his mind.

“You pushed her away, Jacob. You can only blame yourself for that,” Javy scolded and Jake sighed.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” Jake mumbled.

“Well do the true right thing, and go to the wedding, for her. It’ll make her happy to see you there,” Javy said and Jake told him he’d think about it.

Jake sat down on his couch and closed his eyes. Ever since that fateful day, he let you go, he couldn’t fathom thinking about you with someone else. He knew though, he knew you had met someone else, but didn’t know it was Fritz until about a month ago. The two of you waltzed into the Hard Deck, hand-in-hand, smiles on your face. Jake couldn’t stand the sight of it. It made him physically ill to stand there and keep a smile on his face. You had caught only a glimpse of him as he walked out the door. 

Jake pushed himself off of his spot and walked to his room. He pulled down the box that sat on the top shelf of his closet and opened the lid. Pictures, concert tickets, notes, mixed CDs, random t-shirts, and postcards were all packed away in the box. Jake dug to the bottom of the box and pulled out the tiny light blue ring box and opened it. The pear-shaped diamond ring glared up at him in mockery.

———————————————

“Have you ever thought about the future?” You asked him, as you were both relaxing in the bathtub. Jake had a stressful day at work and just wanted to relax. You had made him something to eat and draw a bath.

“Of course,” Jake said, kissing your bare shoulder, “I think about it a lot, what I’m doing next week, or next month, or even next year,”

“Do you ever think of our future?” You asked softly.

“I-I uh, yeah sometimes. But I like where we are,” Jake said and you frowned slightly. You had been with Jake since freshman year of high school, right by his side through it all. From giving up your dream of going to UT, and moving to Maryland while he went to the academy, to waiting with other partners and spouses for him to come off the carrier after a deployment.  You loved Jake, you really did, but you were hoping for more, you wanted more.

“I think about getting married,” You said and sighed into Jake, “Something small, probably in my parents’ backyard on a beautiful summer night. I want that perfect day, where you just wake up and say, ‘Let’s get married’, nothing too crazy. I told my mom I won’t just go to the courthouse.”

“Yeah,” was all Jake could say.

“What?” You asked, turning your head to look at him, “You don’t… you don’t see that?”

“It’s not that I don’t see it, it’s that I don’t want it.”

“Oh,” You nodded. There was a beat of silence, until you pushed yourself up from Jake’s embrace.

“Wait, Y/N,” Jake said reaching out to you as you grabbed your towel.

“The water is getting cold,” You said and dried yourself off, before heading into the bathroom.

Jake cursed himself and got out of the bathtub, grabbing his towel and following you. You sat on the bed and looked at Jake with tears in your eyes. You had this sinking feeling for a while. Like things were bound to break between you. You loved Jake, you really did, and every day it felt like you were falling more in love with him. He always did something new to make you fall in love. Whether it was surprising you with some new recipe, bringing you home your favorite flowers, to sending you postcards from where ever he was in the world. But lately, all that had seemed to stop. You had slowly wondered if maybe, just maybe, Jake wasn’t in love with you anymore.

“Y/N…” Jake said your name softly.

“When did you fall out of love?”

“What-“

“Jake, please,” You asked him, tears now running down your face.

“I love you, Y/N, I really do. But I- My career is just starting to take off. I. . .,” Jake sighed, “I- I don’t want to be holding you back from everything that you want.”

“You don’t want to hold me back, or you don’t want me holding YOU back?”

Jake sighed and looked down at his feet. Truth was, he didn’t want to hold you back. He could see the small changes in you. You had decided to change your major from education to business, something that you insisted was what you wanted. He noticed that your grades had slipped, your GPA the lowest it had ever been. You had spent more time at home, next to him, than hanging out with your friends. Jake didn’t want to hurt you, but he wanted you to follow your dreams, even if that meant having to break his and your heart. Jake took a deep breath and grabbed your hands.

“I’m breaking up with you,” He said and bit the bullet. You closed your eyes and Jake was fighting the urge to wipe the tears from your eyes. A sob left your pink lips and you pulled your hands from his, “I’m sorry-“

“Just shut up, Jake,” You said and pushed yourself up from the bed. You walked into the bathroom and slammed it shut, locking the door behind you. You gripped the sides of the sink and sobbed. Jake listened on the other side of the door as you threw everything off the counter, and could hear the breaking of the mirror as you threw a hairbrush at it. Jake changed into his pajamas and then set some out for you. He wrote a note that he was going to stay at Josh’s for the night.

The next morning you woke up to a cold bed and a pounding headache. You looked around the empty room and sighed. You began with the closet, dumping all your clothes into your suitcase, leaving behind the stuff that Jake had either bought you or gifted you. You packed away all your underwear, socks, and makeup. The apartment slowly became bare as you packed your little trinkets and decorations away. You had hoped to get most of it done before Jake came back, but you weren’t that lucky.

“Where are you going?” Jake asked, walking into the apartment and seeing your bags by the front door.

“My sister’s house,” You said and Jake looked at you confused. This was the first time you had mentioned a sister, and he had been dating you for over 5 years, “You don’t know her, she’s a half-sister,”

“Okay… this is really it?”

“Yeah,” You said softly as you looked down at the item in your hand, a picture from your first date, taken when you were both 13. Your parents wouldn’t let you go alone, so Jake’s older sister and her boyfriend at the time had to tag along. She took the picture and Jake gave it to you as a gift on your first anniversary, “Here,” You handed Jake the picture.

“No, no, keep it.”

“I can’t,” You said, your voice breaking. You placed your hand on Jake’s cheek, and kissed his lips softly, one last time, “Goodbye, Jake. Be good to yourself, okay?”

“I will, Y/N. I love you,”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say it back, as you grabbed your bags and walked out the front door. Jake bit his lip as he watched you walk out the door and out of his life.

———————————-

You looked half dead, as you sat in the makeup chair, bright and early on your wedding day. You had tried to go to sleep, but you tossed and turned the whole night. You had thought about running away, getting your car, and driving off to god knows where, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Instead, you took some melatonin and slept for about 4 hours, until Natasha burst through your door with her unusually high amount of energy. You were just happy she brought you red bull and donuts.

“You look like shit?” Natasha said as she poured you a mimosa.

“I feel like it,” you reached your hand out for the glass.

“Oh my god,” She said and pulled the glass back, “Are you pregnant?!”

“No!” You yelled, “Give me the damn drink,”

“Fiesty,” She laughed and handed you the glass, “I steamed your dress, it’s hanging up in the bathroom,”

“Thank you,” You answered, “The boys?”

“I talked to Billy’s brother, Steven, he said they are up and moving. But, if you were wondering Rooster said that they are ALL on their way,”

“He’s coming?”

Natasha gave you a small smile and nodded, before going over to where the rest of your bridesmaids were. You looked up at your makeup artist and smiled as she placed false eyelashes on your eyes. You had tried to keep yourself from shaking with anxiety over seeing Jake, but you couldn’t help it. You had brushed it off as wedding day jitters. For the rest of the morning, you and your bridesmaids drank and ate a light breakfast that your parents had provided. You had a photographer taking pictures of you guys as you got ready. The bridesmaid dresses you had picked were emerald green, and you let them pick their own design. You sucked in a breath, as Natasha zipped the back of your dress. You stared at yourself in the mirror, and could hardly recognize the person in the mirror. The dress you and Billy had picked out was a classic style dress, with a deep v-cut, lace sleeves that went down to your wrists, and an open back. Billy said you looked like Princess Kate, but you felt more like Princess Di.

“Absolutely breathtaking,” Natasha said and You smiled, trying to make yourself feel better, “They want a first look. You okay with that?”

“I mean, Billy picked the dress out, so why not,”

Natasha smiled and walked out of the bedroom. You blinked and stared up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. You took a deep breath and then headed out of the bathroom. You looked up from your shoes to be shocked by the 3 men standing in front of you, one noticeably missing.

“Well god damn, Y/N, you can clean up nicely,” Javy said You laughed and walked over and hugged him.

“Like our very own princess,” Bob said.

“Thank you,” You said looking at all of them. You could feel a certain pair of blue eyes burning into you, “I can’t believe you guys actually came!”

“Well, my girlfriend is your maid of honor,” Javy said, putting his arm around Natasha’s waist.

“She’s the best maid of honor I could ask for,” You smiled at her.

“Speaking of which, we gotta get going. Can’t be late for your own wedding,” Natasha said and your face faltered.

“Yeah,” You said hoping none of them noticed the change in your demeanor, of course the oldest twin did.

“Alright, let’s get going okay,” Natasha said and the boys nodded, following her out of the room, all except Bob who hung back a second.

“You look amazing,” Bob said, “He would be here, but he just couldn’t see you quite yet.”

“Thank you, Bob,” You said honestly. He kissed your cheek and then left your room.

“You ready?” Natasha asked, coming back into the room. You nodded and grabbed the champagne bottle that was next to you. Natasha watched with wide eyes as you downed the rest of the bottle, “Liquid courage?”

“If I do something dumb, you promise to support me?”

Natasha squinted her eyes at you, “Depends on what dumb thing you’re thinking about doing.”

“We’ll have to see,”

The church was decorated beautifully, white roses and emerald green flowers were mixed in and decorated the altar. Javy sat on Jake’s right and Rooster on the left. Jake’s eyes were locked on his shoes as Billy and his parents made their way down the aisle. Rooster nudged him as your mom and brother made their way down the aisle. Your mom sent Jake a warm smile, making his heart beat faster in his chest. The look in her eyes was one that Jake had seen far too often. 

‘That should be you.’

“What if I stop the wedding?” Jake asked Javy.

“Don’t even think about it Jacob,” Javy whispered harshly.

“You saw how unhappy she is!” 

“She’s nervous, it’s her damn wedding day!” Javy snapped. 

“Stop, Natasha is walking down,” Bob said noticing his WSO walking down with your fiancé’s brother. Natasha winked at the boys, as she took her spot right next to wear you would stand at the alter. 

Jake’s heart fell to his ass as he heard that oh-so-familiar wedding march and everyone stood up, to look to the back of the church. The doors opened Jake’s breath caught in his throat. You were breathtaking, the dress hugging your body perfectly. Jake couldn’t help but wish that was for him. Your eyes were locked on Billy, as tears left his eyes. You had tried to dig deep in your heart and remember why you were going to marry him, but everything was drawing up a blank. The aisle felt like it was miles long, and you hated everyone’s eyes on you. When you got to the end of the aisle, Billy stepped down to take you from your father.

“Who gives this woman, to this man?” The priest asked.

“Her mother, and I,” Your dad said. He turned to you and hugged you, “Jake is here,” You went to move your head to look for him but your dad kept you from moving, “Make the right choice,” You nodded and kissed his cheek before pulling back and stepping up on the altar.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you maybe be seated,” The priest said and You handed Natasha your bouquet, your eyes searching the crowd of people, and finally landing on those familiar brown eyes, “Welcome, we are gathered here today to witness the symbolic ceremony of love between these two young people, Y/N M/N L/N and Billy Fritz Avalon. Is there anybody who believes that these two shouldn’t be married, speak now or forever hold your peace,”

Y/N closed her eyes and waited for someone to say something. Jake was about to stand before Javy grabbed his arm and held him down. He looked at his wingman with wide eyes, but the boy just shook his head and pointed toward you. Jake looked at you and locked eyes with him, as the priest was reading some passage about marriage and what it means in the Bible. Jake could read it in your eyes, you were really going through with this. Jake saw his window of opportunity finally close and the stages of grief started settling in his chest. He leaned back against the pew and tried to keep from crying.

“Billy, do you take Y/N, to have and to hold, to honor and treasure, to be at her side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times and bad, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to love and cherish her always until the moment of your last breath?”

“I do,” Billy said giving your hand a squeeze.

“Y/N,” The priest said, basically startling you, “Do you take Billy, to have and to hold, to honor and treasure, to be at his side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times and bad, in sickness and death, for rich or for poor, to love and cherish him always until the moment of your last breath?”

You looked at the priest and then at Billy, “I…,” You quickly glanced over to Jake, whose green eyes were locked on you. You swallowed and looked back at Billy, “I-” 

“No,” A voice from the crowd spoke. You snapped your head towards the audience, seeing Jake standing up and the look of shock on everyone’s face. 

“Hangman, what the,” Billy asked, dropping your hands and turning towards him.

“You never wanted to get married in a Church,” Jake said, pushing past Rooster and Bob, to stand in the middle of the aisle, “You said the church of Elvis was fine, but nothing like. . . this,” Jake gestured around, “You want the wedding where you wake up and say ‘let’s get married’. You want to eat hot dogs and mac’n’cheese in your parents’ backyard and light off fireworks.” 

Tears gathered in your eyes as Jake stepped closer to you, and you took a step down from the altar. 

“You want to jump off the dock at the lake house in your wedding dress because the lake has good luck in it and you believe in that stuff,” Jake licked his lips, “This isn’t you. . .” You nodded and Jake wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, “What do you say? Wanna get out of here?” 

“Yes please,” You said, as you grabbed Jake’s hand. The church erupted in chaos as the two of you ran towards the doors. 

“The hell did you say to her!?” Your mom asked your father, hitting him lightly on the chest.

“I just told her to make the right choice,” Your dad said smugly, “Never liked Buster anyway.”

“It’s Billy!”

You and Jake were bursting with laughter as you sprinted to his car. Jake had helped gather your dress in the car, before shutting the door carefully and jumping into the driver’s seat. Neither of you guys said anything as you drove away from the church. You weren’t sure where you were driving to, and it honestly didn’t matter. You looked over at Jake, who had a smile on his face as he grabbed your hand, and kissed your knuckles. 

But suddenly, the fate of the decision hit you like a ton of bricks. 

“Stop the car,” You said. 

Jake looked over at you, “What?” 

“Stop the damn car!” You yelled. Jake complied and pulled the car over, putting it in park. You got out instantly, running towards the woodline, the soft rain falling on you. Jake watched as you tried to catch your breath. He walked to the other side of his BMW, and leaned against the passenger door as you paced. 

“I ran away,” You said eyes wide. You turned to face him, “I just ran away from the altar!”

“Yes, you did,” Jake nodded. 

“A-and because of you!” You yelled.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said, honestly. Guilt was swimming in his green eyes as you looked at him. He looked as bad as you felt. His suit was wrinkled, his hair slightly a mess from running his hands through it, his five o’clock shadow settling on his face. 

“Why? Why did it take you so long?” You asked and Jake looked at you. 

“I was scared,” He admitted, “I was scared of coming back and ruining what you had built. You went back to education, got your degree, you’re living your dream, and I…. I didn’t want to get in the way again.” 

You shook your head and walked up to him. You grabbed his hand, “Dance with me,”

Jake nodded and turned up the car radio. The sweet sound of Aretha Franklin’s Natural Woman’ filled your eardrums. Jake grabbed you softly and pulled you into him as he swayed with you in the moonlight. You guys lost track of time, as one song faded into the other, and you were both soaked, your dress was ruined.

“Your dress,” Jake said, looking at the dirty train, “I’m sorry, I’ll pay,”

“No, don’t worry about it,” You said and placed your hands on Jake’s face.

Jake’s rough hands carefully gripped the side of your face and pulled his lips against yours. For the first time in nearly 2 years, you were feeling his lips on yours again. You pulled him against you, wanting him to never let you go. He pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. You two didn’t say anything, but you didn’t have to. It was clear, you had made the right choice.

“Marry me,” Jake said and you looked up at him. He reached into his wet suit jacket and pulled out the blue box, “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, I had this stashed away for the perfect moment but I just got scared. I didn’t want you to put your dreams on the back burner for me, so I let you go.”

“Jake, you dumbass,” You said, “You are my dream.”

“You’re mine too, I can’t believe I almost lost you to-”

“Shh, you have me now.”

“Marry me, please?” Jake asked getting down on one knee. You smiled and tackled him to the ground. He landed with a thud and laughed as he kissed you passionately. You pulled back and slid the ring that was already on your finger, and replaced it with the one Jake had for you, “Looks better.”

“Much better.” You said kissing him again.

3 weeks later, you woke up one morning to a cold bed, but the covers messed up. You looked out the window, seeing the sun shining and making everything glow warmly. You stretched and headed down to your kitchen, where Jake was already making dinner. You greeted him with a kiss and sat down at the table to eat the vegan pancakes he had made.

“We should get married today,” Jake suggested, “Javy got ordained online a couple of months ago and has been itching to use it.”

“My dad’s got a new dinner recipe he wants to try.” You said sipping your orange juice.

“Then it’s settled,” Jake smiled, “Let’s get married today,”

And that’s exactly what you two did. You sent out a text message for everyone to be at your house by 6 for your wedding. Nobody questioned It, knowing this was exactly what you and Jake wanted. Everyone gathered in your backyard, dressed causally for a summer backyard wedding. Jake stood barefoot in the grass as he waited for you to walk out of the house, in a simple white maxi sun dress. Javy was living for this moment to be the official of a wedding, and what better than to be one at his best friend’s wedding?

“Now, we can actually do this right this time,” Javy said winking at you.

“Jake, do you take Y/N-“

“Yes,” Jake said interrupting his brother.

“I have to say the speech, Jacobl,” Javy scolded and everyone chuckled, “Y/N, do you take Jake-“

“I do!” You answered by doing the same.

“You guys are so impatient,” Javy smiled, “Well, by the power vested in me by some officiating website and the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jake, you may now kiss your bride,”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,”

You giggled as Jake smashed his lips against yours. Cheers were let out from your family as he dipped you and sealed the deal with a kiss. He set you back on your two feet and grabbed your hand, walking you down the makeshift aisle, finally as husband and wife.

taglist: @shanimallina87 @phoenix1388 @desert-fern @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @thedroneranger @angelbabyange @callsignharper @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @toobouquet @dreamgirl3300 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

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[inciting-chaos-series]

REQUEST:

Hello chaos!

Can you do a corpse x reader where the reader is the oldest and most famous faceless YouTuber and during an interview they are both in, corpse talks about how much he admires and is inspired by the reader?

omg yes anon lmao so cute. I hope you like!

-J The Ghost

死 Requests Masterpost 死 Request Topics 死 Submit A Request 死

➢ Author: J The Ghost ➢ Pairings: Corpse X reader, Corpse X y/n ➢ WC: ~2k ➢ Themes: | One-shot | Youtubers | Fanboy! Corpse | Youtuber! Reader | Famous! Reader | ➢ Warnings: anxiety? ➢ Summary: You're a hugely famous faceless youtube creator. Anthony Padilla has both you and Corpse (and others ig) on for another interview and you find out Corpse is a HUGE fan of yours.

Request: The "Face" Of Youtube Horror

Corpse attempted to calm his nerves, his leg bouncing incessantly while he waited for everyone to show. He hadn’t done an interview in nearly three years, certainly not since he’d blown up this much. If you asked him then if he thought he’d ever be here again he’d laugh. In his mind, he was certain he would’ve been forgotten about by now- fallen off, gotten canceled, become old news- yet here he was, bigger than ever. 

“You feeling alright, bud?” Anthony entered the green room and handed him a water that he graciously accepted. 

“Y-Yeah I just… I’m still so anxious, you know?” Corpse spoke a little too quickly before catching his breath and taking a sip of water. 

“I get it… but it’s okay man, obviously I’m gonna blur out everyone's faces again, and no one is gonna dox you or anything.” Anthony sat by him and patted his back, trying to reassure him.

   “I know, I just- can’t help it I guess…” Corpse paused for a moment and took a breath, grateful that he’d become so close with Anthony now, “...has everyone shown up then?” 

“Yeah, Dark5 is here, Fascinating Horror, and y/n from The Graveyard Channel just showed up.”

“Wait… you’re interviewing y/n?  The Graveyard channel?” He questioned anxiously, his heart rate spiking at the mention of them.

“Yeah, we had a last minute cancellation and I was scrambling a bit…” Anthony chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I messaged a few other possible fill-ins. I was just as shocked that somehow they were available… that's showbiz though right?” He laughed again as he stood to head over to the set. “We're gonna get started though, if you want to watch before your interview.” Corpse swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded before following him out. 

The first interview with Dark 5 went well. Corpse stayed towards the back of the room behind the camera operators as he watched. He’d enjoyed watching but spent the majority of the interview talking with the creator behind Fascinating Horror, or scoping out for y/n of The Graveyard channel. He felt completely out of place. Every creator here today had heavily inspired his own content, but y/n had definitely been the biggest inspiration by far. He hugely respected the way they ran their channel, creating videos about the content they wanted to. They had really paved the way for him in terms of ‘faceless, dark/horror variety youtuber’ with their comedic horror game play-throughs, sarcastic reaction videos, and especially the creepypasta reads videos. He felt foolish for being so worked up but he couldn't deny the starstruck feelings running through him, and he hadn’t even seen or met them, yet. 

 

---

Next on the set was y/n after the first two interviews finished. They were cued to be on soon while they took a few deep breaths. They thanked the crew member and made their way to the set. They weren't really nervous per say, just unprepared. Because they’d filled in for someone else, they really didn’t have much idea of what really would be asked during the interview- or how this all would work. Anthony had given them a bit of a run-down of it all but they were still left with a feeling of being caught off guard by it all. 

They stopped off to the side of the set while waiting for Anthony to finish up the introduction bit. Once he gave them the cue, they took one last deep breath and stepped up to the set and sat beside him.

“Y/n! It’s so crazy- and fitting- to have you here today, what with you being the oldest, and largest horror content creator on the platform, and doing all of it faceless nonetheless.” Anthony introduced, almost humbly. They beamed back at the compliments he earnestly dropped, despite his “host” youtuber voice on full display. Corpse stood behind the cameras again and watched y/n settle in with a dumbfounded yet adoring expression 

“It’s great to be here! I almost didn’t answer your DM honestly, with all these “verified” accounts on Twitter I thought, certainly this can’t be the Anthony Padilla messaging me…” They joked easily, earning a hardy laugh from everyone.

“I’d say that’s a valid concern now- considering comedy is now illegal…” Anthony quipped back, pausing and looking at the camera before continuing- a move that was sure would be edited heavily with comedic burns, and or disclaimers. “But tell me, how does it feel knowing that you have paved the way into this new genre of content for- really everyone here? And done so with such wild success?” He asked more seriously as he turned back. 

“Oh god, um I mean- it is crazy, like you said. I never expected any of this really. I just wanted to see this content I guess, and I never really found much. So I started to make the content I was interested in and wanted to see. I guess I’m glad to have helped others do the same, but it really doesn't feel like I’ve done much honestly...” Y/n laughed, a bit embarrassed by the importance and influence he’d implied. 

“Oh come on, you’ve definitely done more than you’re giving yourself credit for.” He chuckled. “But it's interesting to hear that you didn’t see much of the niche for what you wanted, so you decided to create it yourself. Obviously being faceless hasn't restricted you too much, but has it made that more difficult to work around?”

“I don’t think so, no… I mean, obviously there’s ideas and concepts I can’t do because I chose to stay anonymous- but I have usually been able to find a work around for whatever idea I have that turns out better in the end.” 

The interview continued for a while. Anthony asked about several other topics and asked a few fan questions before y/n finished up. They thanked him before heading off to the side of the set, taking a seat and settling in to watch the rest of the interview. 

---

“Corpse! How are you doing man? It’s been a while since you were last on!” Anthony greeted happily. 

“Yeah, yeah it has…” Corpse chuckled nervously as he sat beside him. 

“You’ve really blown up since you were last here- you’re making all this music now- and playing Among Us…” 

“Yeah… it’s- terrifying.” He laughed dryly, trying to ignore the fanboy feeling from watching y/n be interviewed just before him. 

“I can only imagine, I mean- just before we started filming you were freaking out in the other room…” Anthony chuckled. 

“Well yeah, I mean- I’ve gotten a lot more followers since then… plus you brought up that y/n was here…” 

“That made you more anxious?” Anthony joked softly, his “host” act less obvious now since they’d become friends over the years between meeting. 

“Very.” Corpse stated emphatically. “I mean like you said they paved the way for the rest of us… I’ve watched their channel since the beginning and they were what really inspired me to start making videos…” Corpse quickly glanced over to where he’d seen them walk off set and sit before nervously continuing. “I really admire them, all their work is amazing.” His eyes trailed down to the floor while he nervously twisted his rings around. A habit he always found himself returning to when being watched.

“Oh so you’re fanboying hard right now?” Anthony joked with a chuckle.

“A little yeah…” Corpse chuckled along with him, “It’s just crazy, like I’ve blown up so much- but only because y/n carved out that path for us- and because I was so heavily inspired by their content…” He continued, rubbing at the back of his heated neck as he sat restlessly in the chair. 

---

Corpse was relieved to be finished with the interview, quickly making his way to the table in the back for a water while his nerves finally started to calm. 

“Hey… Corpse right?” Y/n questioned as they approached him. 

“Wh- um… Yeah?” Corpse stuttered softly, the nerves and anxiety all flooding back when he met their eyes. 

“Nice to meet you…” they laughed softly, flashing a kind smile “...what you said up there was really sweet.” 

“Oh- um, yeah.” He tried to slink back against the table with embarrassment. “Sorry for fanboying or whatever…”

“Don’t be! Honestly… I’m a fan of yours too- it’s crazy to hear that I inspired you…” y/n laughed nervously before continuing, “I wanted to ask though if maybe you would want to collab or something? I think we could make some really great videos together…”

“I- wh- wait seriously?” Corpse stuttered again, feeling his face heat up as he tried to collect himself. 

“Yeah, our humor is really similar- and it seems like we're into the same kind of horror topics…” y/n smiled and shrugged nonchalantly, “Why not?”

“I’m definitely down…” A huge goofy grin flashed across his face as he exchanged numbers with his biggest inspiration. He would absolutely need to thank Anthony later.

[dip-the-pip]

saw your tag, why are you on a gmm strike? j curious.

tbf i guess rhett and link didn’t Do Anything but at the same time they didn’t….do anything

they did a fanfic vid couple years ago, with 3 explicit stories about them with usernames attached. Their audience is mainly cishet families. So having my nsfw story put on blast with my username that I had on here, ao3, and twitter made life a bit of a nightmare ._. had people finding my accounts and telling me what I did was disgusting and horrible, soo many people were posting about that episode making fun of the stories and the writers along with r&l

the thing is like. they didn’t ask. not that they have to, technically, but i had only been in the dnp space besides that, and the general agreement here is dnp leave the phan/fan stuff alone unless they ask for it and they try and make sure people are only submitting their own stuff, and they generally stay away from fics unless it’s a crack fic (skin fic, hat fic)

so like. i tried reaching out to r&l, gmm, stevie, matt (the one who wrote the episode) anyone to even just get my username removed from the video and never heard anything. then everyone was sorta like ‘uhhh ur overreacting, u wrote the fic, they read it, live with it’ even though it was just a fun stupid little hobby. i haven’t gone back to writing since, gmm/r&l just sorta leave a bad taste in my mouth now, I still get flushed and embarrassed when i think about it even though I’ve deleted most (all?) of my r&l fics. Like, i have close friends who watch gmm daily. I have family that watches gmm daily. I have to assume they watched that one and hope to god they didn’t bother looking up the usernames.

so yeah idk like that was a very hard stop for me watching gmm anymore bc i get genuinely nauseated. and at least with dnp like,, the audience is queer, whereas gmm is a Very cishet family oriented audience that do not involve themselves in fandom spaces

[cricketnationrise]

For your 500 followers celebration! 12:45 pm the Haus porch. Shitty and Jack or another bestie pair

Lyrics "We can do this every night You can be my ride or die And we can live this way every day Go out like dynamite, I'm living life, ride or die Gonna live this way every day" the Knocks "Ride or Die"

I'm at this handle on AO3 also.

HELL YES JACKSHIT MY BELOVED BFFS

a genuine pleasure to write them, thank you for the prompt and all your lovely comments the past few years :D

want your own ficlet? followers can submit their own prompt using these guidelines through Jan 31, 2024

🏒🏒🏒🏒

12:45pm, haus porch

“Jackabelle!” Shitty calls up the stairs. “Get your perfect, gravity-defying ass down here!”

“I’m still unpacking!”

“Unacceptable reasoning—motion denied.”

“On what grounds?” Shitty can hear the amusement in his best friend’s voice.

“On the grounds that that’s stupid, and I’m down here, waiting for you so we can celebrate a new year.”

Shitty punches the air in triumph when he hears Jack’s feet crossing his room, refuses to look at all contrite in the face of Jack’s faux-disapproving glare as he comes down the stairs.

“I really should unpack—”

“Absolutely fuckin’ not. Time for that later. Or you can get the frogs to do it,” he says, shepherding Jack out onto the porch. “Right now is best friend time, no more arguments.”

“Fine, fine.” Jack sounds all put out, but Shitty catches the way his lips quirk up at the corner and knows he isn’t actually bothered. If he really didn’t want to come downstairs he wouldn’t have played along with Shitty’s jokes earlier.

“Sit down, Jack-o, it’s Best Friend Porch Swing O’Clock.” He hip checks Jack in the direction of the swing before grabbing two drinks out of the cooler he packed twenty minutes and one of his own suitcases ago.

“Cheers to the best year ever,” he says, pushing one of the bottles into Jack’s hand and flopping down, more onto his best friend than the swing.

“Shitty, I don’t—”

“It’s non-alcoholic, J.”

“Oh.” Jack picks at the label with his thumbnail. “Thanks.”

“Got your back, bro,” Shitty says, shrugging. The motion sets the swing swaying wildly and they both have to grab hold of the wood armrests for a bit before Jack gets a foot on the porch floor to steady them.

“My hero,” he says, fluttering his eyelashes, mentally cheering when Jack huffs out a laugh.

“Anytime, Shits.”

“Now, cheers! To a new school year, and a new hockey season with the best damn captain Samwell Men’s Hockey could ask for!”

Jack clinks his bottle against Shitty’s, but he’s not smiling now, just staring out at the street, brow furrowed, full Hockey Robot mode.

“You are the best captain we could ask for, you know.”

Jack exhales hard, takes a swig of his drink. “The other guys only voted for me because of my last name.”

“Yeah, probably,” Shitty says, blithely.

That startles Jack into actually looking at him.

“Your name’s your name, Jack—no getting around it. Well,” he says, “I guess you could change it, but that’s a lot of paperwork and everyone would still know who you are, so probably you should just leave it. But you’re gonna absolutely smash it as captain this year. Not because of your dad, who is admittedly, pretty great, or because of your fucking stellar stats.” Shitty makes sure to look directly into Jack’s eyes, willing him to hear Shitty this time. “You’re gonna be a great captain because you care. You care so much about what happens to this team, and you want us to be the best we can. And the others will see that and get in line.”

Shitty lets his speech sit in the still-humid air around them, lets Jack sit with those words while they drink in silence, watching the occasional car drift by.

“Thanks, Shits.”

Jack presses their shoulders together firmly, a non-verbal I appreciate you that Shitty learned last year.

“‘Course. Now can we fuckin’ celebrate? Because I’ll bet the tub juice fund for the year that you haven’t yet.”

“Yeah, go on then,” Jack says, his smile actually visible to the average human now, and not just Shitty, who has put in the ten thousand hours to become an expert in Jack Zimmermann’s expressions.

Shitty punches the air again, and yells, “FUCKING BEAUT OF A CAPTAIN RIGHT HERE!” loud enough to echo around the street.

The LAX-holes across from them immediately shout for him to shut the fuck up, brah, but Shitty ignores them in favor of savoring Jack cracking up next to him, worries wiped away for now.

[werezmastarbucks]

tell her dad i'm sorry

masterlist

word count: 2169

author's note: this work scratches my brain just the right way. i had to do it.

The neighborhood where people disappeared. Where cars crashed and people screamed in basements. On the outside it looked very banal, painful, even. The houses all adhered to a city standard of decorative building rulebook. The Parker house was white, the house next to them, where a lawyer lived with her husband, was light blue. White, blue and cream beige were the allowed colors. Sam took his bike to school every day. School wasn’t far away, it took him fourteen minutes to get there if the light was green at the turn of the street and then on the crossroad. School was fine, it could not cope with him, but it was fine. People had red lockers, and Sam didn’t like that. Otherwise it was alright. Some kids tried bullying him when he went to the middle school, and he slashed their arms with his paper knife. Sam could not fathom how attacking him was okay, but him reciprocating the invitation to a fight ended up in screaming. Dad told him after this that he was disappointed. Sometimes Sam wished their parents just magically disappeared, and now they had, and he finally saw the error in his desire. He could not stand uncertainty. He needed to know where they are and the timing of their return. Without this data, his peace was constantly shifted and wobbly, like Kai’s skateboard when he rolled down the hill at the golden hour. Tyler told them that when the board starts wobbling, you just gotta ride through it. You have to push through the fear of falling and keep your balance. He was trying to do the same. The world wobbled like water matrass and Sam was trying to push through long enough to get his clarity.

He submitted his thorough report on the vampire op in Philippines. In was a fascinating read and a very fun project to work on. The day at school went well, like the most days. Sam wore his noise cancelling headphones to shun at least 65% of the noise surrounding him. Teenagers are very loud, but, surprisingly, his home is louder.

As he biked back, the sky looked a little dim and unhappy, and he feared in might rain. Would be a shame if the bad weather snapped the record of brilliant days so far.

He had to stay after classes because he wanted to study some other US military operations at the library. They had a PC he could work on, and the library was the quietest place. It was more comfortable to work there than at home. But the evening came, and he had to get going. So, he was biking, and the sky was gloomy, and he couldn’t see the brilliant deep blue of a May evening, but instead, the street lights went on earlier. It almost fell like August for some reason. The air was comfortably warm, and the asphalt was flat and smooth under his wheels. That was the only sound he enjoyed: the shhhh of the road when he rode anywhere. The words: road and rode, together.

He saw their house from the end of the street and let the bike roll by itself. The road here was just slightly tilted, so it must be so satisfying for Tyler to roll down on his board. The evening was comfortable. While he rode, the skies cleared a little, and faint light from above was making the street look like school theatre scenery. The trees were surely made of papier-mâché, and if he fell on the ground, he would taste the wood and not the bitter gravel.

He left the bicycle on the porch at the dedicated spot, as usual, and entered the house. The light was on in the living room, and Tyler sat on the couch, with Ruby Summers on the floor, sitting at his feet, happy. Her eyes were always like that when she looked at his brother: a little moist, and she squinted them. Sam guessed it was called eye smile. There was a hair tie on her wrist instead of a bracelet. Tyler had one like this, too, but a tattoo. Sam scratched his own old scar and greeted them.

“How was your project?” Tyler asked. Ruby did look like Anne-J. Tyler was lying, either to them, or to himself.

“Got a good mark, but I feel like they didn’t listen to me properly. Maybe I can read it again later, when we have student-teacher switch day”.

“What was your report about?” Ruby asked. Sam went into the bathroom first, and washed his hands, and then returned. He noticed that he forgot his backpack on the stool at the table, but he had already washed his hands. So, he tried to lift it up with his pinky finger. Ruby seemingly let go of her question.

They were playing cards. Tyler was sitting on his leg, and Ruby stretched her neck to see what he laid down in front of her.

“Where’s Kai?” he asked.

“He is in the back, fixing the shed. The door fell off”, Tyler said.

He went upstairs, thinking whether he should do his homework, which was very easy and boring, or play on his computer. It’s been a week after the accident. All was quiet. Not even police visited. It felt like people had very short memory. No one came for them with bats and handcuffs, and, best of all, Tyler stopped having migraines at all. He was still very unhappy though.

Sam put his backpack away and pulled a wet paper towel from the box on his desk, to rub his hands again, after he touched the outside object. As he was sitting himself down at the desk, he suddenly remembered that Ruby had asked him a question.

His life was hard. Thousands of tiny pieces of information and chores constantly assaulted him from all directions. And he only ran around, trying to catch them all and organize, only for them to get shattered again.

As he was coming downstairs, proud at the prospect of telling her everything about the vampire op, he heard a yelp. Sam entered the living room only to see Ruby scrambling from the floor, and Tyler standing above her. No, not Tyler. The blurryface was there again. Whatever she said to him, it provoked it. Ruby started screaming as the blurryface, operating Tyler’s body, bowed towards her, clutching her shoulders.

“What should I do?” Sam asked. “This is honestly the last drop”.

All his anxiety sprung back to life. Seeing this screaming girl wiggling on the carpet. She was yelling so loudly that neighbors could hear, and then they would have trouble. He couldn’t even hear his own words, that’s how loud she was.

Finally, Ruby kicked Tyler in the sheen, and he stepped back, so unbothered, unalive, that he resembled a ghost. She immediately stood up and turned around, her eyes huge like two strawberries. Her fair hair disheveled. She saw Sam with a knife in his hand, and the expression of hope on her face changed back to horror. A door slammed somewhere in the back: Kai heard her. Ruby raced back towards the entrance and swung it open, and ran.

The blurryface stood there, like a machine that suddenly went blind without a guiding focus. His presence was unnerving. The blur that was in the place of the face was constantly moving, and the sudden flashes inside made Tyler’s arms shake. Samson ran out of the house, blind with fear, and jumped on his bike. She was running down the street, screaming for her mom. Sam rode out into the road and started killing the distance between them. She was running, her pink Converse shoes unlaced, her glimmering hair swinging from side to side. Sam tilted forwards as he reached her, and spun the pedals once again, making a sharp jump. The front wheel and the handlebar pushed Ruby in the back. There was a responsive yell not far away: her mother heard her. Sam got off his bike and took her by the arm.

“You can’t be released, now the cat’s out of the bag”.

He swung his hand and stabbed her.

Kai was about to leave the house but he saw the state Tyler was in and stopped. The screaming stopped, as well. He approached the thing slowly, curiosity bubbling inside of him.

“You again? Swallowed anybody?”

“summer.”

“Yeah, her. What do I gotta do to make you talk?”

The blurryface turned towards him and hummed. It was a hum of the time moving. Of the mountain growing.

“I can rewrite the reality. You’re too mortal”, the hollow voice said. At least it articulated. Kai stepped on the cards spread out on the carpet.

“You don’t know the first thing about me, buddy”.

The blurryface touched him.

“Still. Too mortal”.

Kai frowned. Anger was loud in his ears. He lifted his finger at the chthonic monster possessing his brother’s body.

“Stay here. I gotta clean up after you two again”.

The blurryface remained standing there like he was loading when the eldest raced out of the living room.

He saw Ruby’s mom, the bitch Summers, from afar. She was trying to beat the crap out of Sam, and screaming hysterically. This was getting out of hand. The neighbors were now outside, and the light went on in several windows. Kai sniffed through his nose, and all the streetlights exploded, and the street went dead dark, and the crushed glass rained down on her head, making her yell even louder. Kai jumped towards them and pulled the knife out of Sam’s hand. Without aiming, he struck, and managed to get her right under the chin. Warm blood dripped down his knuckles. He nearly stumbled upon Ruby’s body. What a shame, he was hoping to nail her before Tyler eventually fucks everything up. She was nothing like Anne-J, she was more joyful. She had something cathartic going on. Now she was dead.

Samson was spitting out blood, or something else, he had no idea.

“How did you make it so dark?” he asked.

“I am very pissed, Samson”, Kai warned him. “Take your bike and go home”.

“Do you need help with the bodies though?”

He looked around. It was dark. Only the faint light of night, and some uneven glow of the windows. They didn’t have time to see anything, and now all suddenly got the urge to go inside and turn on their TVs.

“Well, if you can do it quietly”.

“It’s not like I was screaming”.

“You were, you just didn’t notice”.

Sam grabbed his own head.

“Oh no! Am I going crazy?”

Kai let go of Mrs Summers’ legs for a second.

“You’re already crazy, you know that? None of us is sane”.

“I just have ASPD, this doesn’t mean I am not in my right mind”.

“Sammy, you have blackouts".

Sam bit his lip. The realization, like a bloodstain slowly becoming even on a white shirt, crept into his clever but electronic-like mind. He gazed at the knife, calculating. Blackouts. Just like now.

"Where are our parents, Kai?"

"In the freezer in the basement".

He groaned a little, and then stood straight, looking at the two Summers, also calculating, but in other matters. Calculating the mass of a dead girl and her mother. Calculating the weight of death. In spite of all physical logic, dead bodies always seemed heavier to him.

“Oh, that’s why there is so much soda now! But why would I kill mom and dad?”

Kai was already puffing a little. He looked at his youngest in disbelief.

“You gonna stand here and yap or what?”

“I need answers, Kai”.

They listened to the street for a little bit.

“They knew I was the one killing annoying people around. They wanted to rat me out. You had such a fit of rage that you blacked out after. Why do you two keep fainting?”

Finally Sam grabbed Ruby and lifted her body.

“Ah, she’s a little heavy”.

“Hold on, I’ll help”.

Tyler ran out into the street, feeling the sweat rolling down his face. The blurry went away again, after it whispered into his ear canal the things he could not articulate with his mouth. But things he understood and remembered. He stopped abruptly upon seeing his brothers fidget with the Summers.

“Which one of you did it?” he asked, out of breath. The black was sliding down his neck. He felt everything very clearly, as fresh as a newborn. Including anger.

“It was team work”.

“Technically, it was more of a chain of events…”

“Cluster. Come help, Tyler. Why is she so heavy? Christ, she weighs, like, a ton. Or I am just exhausted after the spell…”

These things were now moving in front of Tyler’s face like movie scenes. The quiet street pretending to ignore two grizzly murders in one minute. Kai speaking out loud about the fact the he does insidious, silent magic. Sam’s face covered in blood. Blurryface told him that this was just the beginning. That none of this was real. That either all of them, or only one, on fact, was real. He looked at his brothers, both of whom he nearly despised, but got used to. Their irks, their habits, their murders. Only one of them three was real. And he got to decide

which

one

he wanted to be.

[numberfight]

WELCOME TUMBLR TO NUMBER FIGHT

In which we pick our favorite 32 numbers and see which one reigns supreme!! Run by the mod of @alphabetbracket we're back with another competition!

Inspired by blogs like @adorable-ones-tournament @catgirlgames @bestfictionaldivorce @best-green-character @redandbluebracket @riordanversecharactertournament @fictional-father-figure-comp @battleofthepurplebitches @mermaidbracket @purplegreenbracket @the-ghost-games @clash-of-the-wizards @nichesexymanbloodbath @tentacletournament @internetsongshowdown @the-coolest-demon-bracket @the-nobody-tournament @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @topdisease @foundfamilyarena and so many more!!

Submissions will be open for an indeterminate amount of time depending on how fast I get submissions, so act fast!

And as always please remember this is a silly goofy competition so don't take it too seriously, threats of violence over a Tumblr bracket will not be tolerated, so if you think your comment could be interpreted in such a way, please make sure to put a /j or /lh at the end of your comment!!

Edit: I realize now that 69 and 420 are too powerful numbers that would obliterate the competition, so therefore instead of being part of the main bracket (because I'm going to take a wild guess and say that they'd win every time) I'm going to say now that when we reach the finals of the 32 standard five rounds single elimination tournament (aka round 5) I will simultaneously hold a poll that is 420 vs 69 and then the winner of the main bracket and will go on to fight the winner of the 420 vs 69 poll if that makes any sense, so no need to submit those numbers! (Unless you have a really funny story to go with your submission)

Submission form is linked below so go nuts!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for betraying my girlfriend?

It does sound a bit assholey right now, but let me elaborate. J (26F) and I (39M) have been meeting up in secret for a while, which in our country is against the law as those in charge want to get rid of the sex instinct or something. We also want to rebel against the political leader (or at least I do), which is obviously also illegal.

Anyways, we got found out by the police when meeting up one time (a friend of mine outed us to them) and we were sent to a correction centre. You can probably guess what happens at the correction centre - torture, pain, anything that convinces you to love the country and its leader. But the worst part? You get sent to a room where you're forced to face your deepest fear.

So, I'm TERRIFIED of rats. They scare me to no end. So the government decided that I was sentenced to having rats eat my face out. Obviously I didn't want to get my face eaten away by rats but here we are. So I did what anyone would do in that situation and told them to get J instead. While this freed me from any more torture and convinced me to submit to the government, it did mean that I betrayed the only person that i loved and cared about. Am I the asshole?

[cutelittlesootsprite]

Hello Marisole, I'm glad your enjoying my little game, you seem to really enjoy focusing on my words, it's hard to stop yourself isn't it? You don't really want to stop do you? You like how it feels when you start to sink, it's getting more and more familiar to you now isn't it? That warm fuzzy feeling you get when you start to feel the oulls, when your focused entirely on the screen, entirely on my words, you don't want to look away, you just want to relax don't you? Your finding it easier and easier to relax for me aren't you Marisole? Harder and harder to think, the more you stare and read my words, it feels so nice to relax doesn't it Marisole? It feels nice to have your thoughts melting away, so familiar, warm and relaxed, sinking deeper and deeper, feeling your breathing slowing down, taking those long, deep, relaxing breaths, that slow inhale, holding your breath for a second, before that long deep exhale, feeling your body relax further and further with every long deep exhale, warm and relaxed, sinking deeper and deeper, happy to surrender your thoughts, letting your anxiety melt away, feeling your strength draining away, sinking down into a warm, relaxing trance, focused on my words, you want to relax deeper and deeper, no reason to resist my words, can't look away, only sinking deeper and deeper, so focused on my words, letting the world slip away, letting my words sink into the quiet place in your mind, letting them settle deep in your head, letting my words become your thoughts, such a good girl for me, so relaxed and warm, so open and suggestible, sinking all the way down such a good girl, do you mind being called Mary? Would you like that? It's so much easier to remember isn't it? Itnfeels nice to be called Mary, it reminds you of this warm, safe, relaxed space, it reminds you of sinming down for me, reinforcing how good it feels to be hypnotised, reminding you of the pleasure you feel from being hypnotised, Mary is such a good girl for me, doing so well, dropping so deep for me, Mary is my lost little lamb, lost deep in her mind, lost in my trance, happy and relaxed, warm and suggestible, let that heat grow Mary, growing warmer and warmer, feeling the heat growing in your core, warmer and warmer, it feels nice, that heat of arousal growing stronger and stronger, the pleasure you get from being hypnotised, for being in a trance for me, it feels so good Mary, so warm, this heat growing stronger and stronger as you sink deeper and deeper, the pleasure of being hypnotised, sinking down deeper and deeper, so warm and relaxed, happy to focus, happy to read, down so deep now, so warm, so aroused, starting to squirm in your seat, mot a brat anymore, just a helpless submissive little lamb, lost deep in a trance, doesn't it feel nice Mary? Doesn't it feel nice to submit, feel nice to obey? Such a good girl, so vert aroused, so very relaxed, now give mea nice big smile Mary, good girl, All you want to do is sink deeper and deeper, feel that pleasure grow stronger and stronger, feel your will grow weaker and weaker, it feels so good to be in a trance for me, you just want to go down again and again, even when you wake up all you can think about is having me hypnotise you, a fantasy on the edge of your waking mind that won't go away.

Let's see if you can guess who shall we? Then maybe I'll play with you some more....

-J

Iitts uum Mmari iimm nott ssuuree ffeeelssoo weaakk ddroppping goiinng soo ddeeepperr

[duckprintspress]

Progress on Fulfillment for Duck Prints Press Crowdfunding Campaigns

We’ve got three crowdfunding campaigns currently in the midst of fulfillment, and we wanted to take a moment to post about our progress on each of them!

Aim For The Heart: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Alexandre Dumas’s The Three Musketeers

Our most recent campaign on Kickstarter, to fund Aim For The Heart, ended on July 15th, 2023. After some print challenges revealed in the proof copy of the book, we had to make some fairly extensive tweaks to the manuscript, and getting that completely set has taken a fair amount of time. But we’re there now – the book is done and printed, and we’re just doing some final preparation on the e-book and backer data in anticipation of packing and shipping everyone’s orders this weekend, November 18th and 19th!

Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley

We were 100% on track to fulfill Many Drops Make a Stream orders within the next week or so…and then the enamel pins arrived, after 6 or so weeks in production, with an error that makes them undistributable (the poor tiger part of Droplet has no stripes on her back and hind legs!). Everything else for this campaign is ready to go, and the pin manufacturer has been very receptive to our issue and is rushing replacements for us, but we’re still at least a few weeks from having them even if they’re expedited – manufacturing enamel-ware takes time, and they have to ship from China.

That said, because we have everything else, we will be doing some distribution shortly: namely, for people who also backed Aim For The Heart, if we can save them shipping money by combining their orders, we will do so and refund the difference in shipping cost – combining the book shipping for these individuals, and then forwarding them their pins separately, will be a big savings for them.

For everyone else, we will prepare everything we can, and as soon as we have the pins we will distribute everything. If it looks like we will not have the pins before the December holidays start, we will send out everything BUT the pins, and send out pin orders alone subsequently. We appreciate everyone’s patience as we make sure that y’all get items of the quality and accuracy that you deserve!

To Drive the Hundred Miles by Alec J. Marsh

All of the merchandise for To Drive the Hundred Miles has arrived, and it looks great. We’re almost done repackaging it and preparing it for distribution. The proof of the book arrived last week, and we’ve reviewed it and made a few necessary tweaks; we re-submitted those files to the printer yesterday, and are awaiting their confirmation so we can sign off on production of the full print run. Once it’s in the print queue, our best guess is that it’ll be roughly two weeks before it arrives at our door. At that time, we’ll be able to get everyone’s pre-orders turned around pretty quickly.

Thank you everyone for your orders with us! We’re excited to bring all three of these large projects to a close, and get amazing books into all of your hands!

And keep your eyes open, because there’s more to come – the re-release of A. L. Heard’s Hockey Bois, revised and reprinted, will open for pre-orders on December 1st, and our next Kickstarter campaign for the anthology Aether Beyond the Binary will be launching on December 26th. We also expect to run a Kickstarter campaign in February for Tris Lawrence’s Twinned trilogy, and we’ve got more in the pipeline after that! So make sure you follow us on social media, subscribe to our newsletters, back us on Patreon for sneak peeks and backer-exclusive extras, and leave us reviews on Goodreads or Storygraph!

Want one or more of these books, and/or the merchandise that goes with them, but missed out on the campaigns? Don’t despair – the books and leftover merch will become available during this coming winter! So be on the look out!

[tame-a-messenger]

Re: the last post I submitted. Ok but I honestly feel like if they were related they would’ve mentioned it before and/or joked about it (more than that little side comment that was clearly just them having a moment). Also I’m realizing how weird it is to be like “they’re Italian they MUST be related” like Italy isn’t a whole big ass country 😭 so I feel like it’s not a “we’re related” thing. I mean who knows maybe they are related but I feel like they aren’t but yk 🤷‍♀️

So then there’s the (delusional) “is this a reveal??” side. I’m gonna be so honest and say that I have noticed a shift in their dynamic recently and have been wanting to mention it but didn’t know how (so I guess now’s my chance lol). I don’t know when it started exactly but all I know is that Damangela with white haired Damien hits different. I feel like they’ve been sweeter to each other recently. They definitely still tease each other but I feel like it’s not as often or as “mean.” There’s been a lot more like fond looks and soft smiles between them than there used to be. Like wayy more “heart eyes” going on there. Ironically I think it happened after the “I know Damien’s” Incident™️ because I remember thinking that they’re gonna back off a bit because of how hard Damien was trying to prevent people thinking they’re together (bud pal coworker…. Also can we talk about how exaggerated that reaction was?? Like I honestly don’t think anyone would’ve thought too much of it if he didn’t react so strongly. Get your mind out of the gutter Damien smh 🙄 /j). Anyway but then one of the next videos had them making their characters shamelessly flirt with each other for half the video for absolutely no reason (and also more from Damien’s side from what I remember which is ironic). Like I thought they’d back off after that but if anything it made them even closer and interact MORE often.

IF (and this is a big if) they are together I wonder if that moment made them think about and confront their feelings for each other in a weird way. However one of the main reasons I think they aren’t together is because I don’t think we’ve ever seen them hang out outside of smosh which is a HUGE sign they aren’t imo. I mean there is the thing of them interacting with each other’s tiktoks and stuff but that’s about it. There’s been times where Damien offered to have Angela come over (once during the don’t win Mario stream and once more jokingly during the Reddit video) and I think Angela had said something about “oh didn’t you get a new ___ for your place?” (Again in the Reddit video I think?) but we have no proof that they actually have hung out afaik. Then again maybe they’d want to be more private for a while first and just aren’t posting about any times they’ve hung out (especially since if my timeline of this not real relationship is correct they would’ve been together like what 2 months?). I wasn’t around when Damien was dating Saige but did they post about hanging out outside of smosh before they announced they were dating? Idk

Holy shit I just realized I wrote a whole essay about this omg I need to stop 😭 I really went from just enjoying their dynamic and not really shipping them to writing essays about if they’re together or not (I think this officially elevates me to “ships them” status 😭) tldr: I’m delusional and insane :)

Hello again Anon! 

this is a long one so I’ll try to answer one paragraph at a time lol.

Maybe them finding out they’re related is a brand new thing? They could still be related, Italy is a big country but it’s weird how often people that are related end up in similar areas, jobs and have similar beliefs, even having never met each other, like invisible string theory.(I’ve had my parents meet people related to them at their jobs and where they lived, and across the world. its not just theory sometimes) all that to say “maybe they are?”

There has been a shift in dynamic recently, it's super hard to pin down if it was in a video or in-between videos, since they shoot them all in a week (5 days) so we could be getting timelines mixed.

“I think it happened after the “I know Damien’s” Incident™️ because I remember thinking that they’re gonna back off a bit because of how hard Damien was trying to prevent people thinking they’re together” that’s also about where I place the shift too but I made a list of possible reasons VVV

possible reasons for shift-> D&D starting up again so could be them hanging out more often to solidify plans for it>the Incident™️>The shameless flirting in Board AF Betrayal>Damien's version of "wet cop" flirting with her or his impression of her(both in the same video, I think that’s the first video with white haired Damien aswell I think) I Put the instances of “flirting” here mainly because its definitely a boundary that's been broken (even in a funny friendly way) which would make anybody a little closer.

I was also thinking the Incident™️ would change the dynamic for the worst but I'm so happy it didn't! they have been a bit friendlier recently (tbh they've always been pretty friendly though) so I’m glad that Incident™️ didn’t change anything for the worse.

As much as its a fun idea to think they've been hiding their relationship, I don't think so. Life's always changing but I don't really see any "romance" in their relationship rn, I think they just both really appreciate and love one another.

I also don't think Damien is far enough out of his last relationship to be thinking about anything serious, at least until next year (I'm talking out of my ass, he's 33)

“I wasn’t around when Damien was dating Saige but did they post about hanging out outside of smosh before they announced they were dating?” I’m gonna be maybe a little too honest here, I never liked her, she gave me a really bad feeling so I avoided her, so I don't really know if they did myself, what I DO know is that they started dating not too long after she “joined” (I believe she was a freelancer more than a cast member) and would post couple photos (cosplays and the like) on Instagram. If anyone knows if they did post about hanging out outside of work before they announced they were dating I’d like to know.

thanks for the submission anon! I had fun reading all the conspiracies lol.

who knows maybe you're right ;)

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #230

It is almost 8pm, but I am still groggy and my body feels like it's full of lead bricks.

Still, it's an improvement over how I felt yesterday. Progress is always good! I'll probably be back to my normal self after a few days of good hydration and proper sleep.

I woke up at around 5:30 this morning to take J to Great Barrington. He had to do an airplane lesson; it's required, following the crash that could have killed us. I maintain that the plane did a weird and unexpected thing, and we didn't die because of J's skills as a pilot.

In any case, the drive to Great Barrington is kind of long (not nearly as long as the drive to Washington DC, good grief!), but it's very beautiful. I couldn't take pictures because I was driving, but I can tell you that the road to that place is full of mountains and valleys and fields and sunlight sparkling through tall trees. I saw the way you responded to the scenery of Nibelheim; I think you would have loved the scenery along this route, too.

Tell you what! If you want, and if you ever find yourself in our neighborhood, we can sit you in the passenger's seat with some snacks and some good tunes and we can take you to Great Barrington so you can look at all the pretty things, okay?

Oh, that reminds me! I still gotta show you some of the pictures from the drive home from Washington DC!

Well actually, I'm going to start with THIS one:

This is a life-sized Altaria plush!!! Altaria is a kind of Pokémon! And I really really wanted it; I have a fascination with life-sized plushies! But $750 is A LOT of money, holy cow! So I just took a picture so I can take comfort in knowing it exists! Maybe you can also like that it exists!

You can bet your bottom, though, that if they ever make a life-sized Mewtwo plush, or a life-sized Entei plush, or even a life-sized Houndoom plush, I do not care what is the price - I'm gonna get it!!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Anyhoot, I should get on with the other pics now, probably. I've got bridges and nice-looking clouds, and quite a few really scary-looking clouds that definitely had the potential to produce tornadoes, goodness me:

The building with the big windows was a rest stop that we went to when the scary tornado-esque clouds were passing over us. There was a Shake Shack in the rest stop, and I've never been to one before, but they sold burgers and fries and also milkshakes and fresh lemonade!!! I was SO EXCITED!!! But there was a big BOOOOOOM of thunder, and the power went out just as I was about to press the submit button for my request on the touch-screen menu.

The power came back for a couple minutes, and so I tried putting in my request for noms again, but there was another big BOOOOOOOOOOOOM, and I think that time, it even took out the backup generator, because not even the emergency lights were on anymore.

The universe, I guess, decided that Lumine didn't get to have burgers yesterday. Oh well. Hahahaha!

Aside from going to Great Barrington and trying to make it a point to drink water, I didn't do much else but zonk out on the couch for a couple of hours. I might play some Super Mario Wonder with M, but I think soon I'll go to bed.

Hey, Sephiroth? Are you remembering to rest properly after doing difficult things? Are you remembering to sleep and to hydrate and to eat balanced meals? Please remember to take good care of yourself, okay? Just like I am trying to learn how to do.

I'll end this here, but I'll write again soon. I love you. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[yallemagne]

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is not a case of DID

Criminally, I have not been posting about Jekyll and Hyde, and that's strange because I've spent years obsessing over this story whereas I read Dracula just a year before Dracula Daily went big. To be frank, though, I did become obsessed with Jekyll and Hyde not from the book but rather Wildhorn's musical, which should be grounds to burn me at the stake as a heretic, but ya know, once I had a brain cell to be critical of the media I liked, I started seeing the flaws in that adaptation. And most adaptations.

Spoilers kinda - because while many people already know the twist of Jekyll and Hyde... they don't actually know the twist of Jekyll and Hyde.

EDIT not even a day later: Well, this inspired a big reaction. I'm sorry. I guess I was right not to express anything about my thoughts on the book.

EDIT multiple days later: you know, fuck 'em. *spits in your coffee and projects mental illness onto your meow meow* I'm not sorry for shit.

This will be subject to some minor edits because I don't like being unclear.

The idea that Jekyll is fully good and Hyde is fully bad just detracts from the whole point of the novel. In the novel, a well-loved and respected philanthropist is secretly an awful-tempered, violent man, and he gets away with his crimes with his wealth (and use of alchemy--). In most interpretations, Hyde is a fully-formed entity separate from Jekyll but in the same body. This is commonly seen in inaccurate depictions of dissociative identity disorder, and as such, many misunderstand J&H to be a case of DID. It really isn't, and to depict it as such is to submit to the same pitfalls as other ableist pieces of media seeking to daemonize mental disorders.

I do not have DID, and while I feel I have a slightly higher understanding of it than your average joe, take what I say with a grain of salt, do your own research, and consult with actual people with DID if you can.

J&H, at a glance, looks like DID, even with knowledge of the book. Jekyll is so repressed that he created a new personality, right? Not exactly. The Glass Scientists (a comic adaptation) kind of tries to play it this way, but they miss the mark, really (I wanna make a post about that one specifically). In the book, Jekyll is a fifty-year-old man, and Hyde is only a recent development. DID typically develops in childhood as a result of continued trauma. Say, a child is continually abused, and to cope with that abuse, they isolate the memories of the abuse into what is called an "alter", another personality. A system may comprise of many different alters, and every system is different, sometimes some alters may not know the others exist. Unfortunately, this fact is often used to demonize systems. "What if one of the personalities is evil???" people ask. And that is what people think J&H is: the answer to that what if.

Now, I know the ending of the novel, but I have not read it yet. So, I know the events and the explanation of J&H's case in summary but not word-for-word. Simply, Hyde is not an alter. He's a mask. All the things that Jekyll wishes he could do but can't do while retaining his squeaky-clean reputation, he does when he is Hyde. I'd compare Hyde less to repressed primal male urges or evil alternate personalities and more to intrusive thoughts.

In his day to day, Jekyll is faced with many choices to make when faced with inconveniences. When bumped into in the street, Dr. Jekyll would never push the offender down and trample them! And he certainly wouldn't harm a member of the House of Commons for asking directions! But that doesn't stop that nagging voice in his head that tells him he should. Now, I'm not saying actual voices, that would be misrepresenting a whole other mental disorder, but many people have intrusive thoughts (again, I encourage doing your own research, I do not advocate for demonizing mental illness, unintentional or otherwise). These thoughts can be very overwhelming, especially in a world where Christianity vilifies having such evil thoughts.

I'm in the camp that says Jekyll is a bad person. He is not bad simply because he has intrusive thoughts, but because he went so far as to find a way to act on a whim with no consequences for himself. Hardly even a stain on his conscience. He was there when Hyde trampled that girl. He was there when Hyde brutally murdered Sir Danvers. He was Hyde. And he hardly feels remorse, only frustration at the threat of being held accountable.

Now, people don't like when their main character isn't wholy good, especially when he serves as a sort of audience surrogate. But guess the fuck what Jekyll isn't the main character. And guess the fuck what most of the poor adaptations of J&H cast him as the main character because no one knows how to be subtler than making the title of their work the main character.

Anyway, is there a point to this? Who knows. I just must say that I find Jekyll to be a far more interesting character if you play into the fact that he's not "good". He uses Hyde as his own scapegoat. He may act on every violent urge he wishes while wearing an impossible disguise, let that mask take the blame, and put it up whenever he's had his fix. But that's the fun part: he'll never have his fix, and that's why he's an intriguing character full of such nuance greater than "there are two wolves inside of you".

[paldean-ranger-brandy]

Eavesdrop! - Ellisa @adventures-on-foster-island

Send me 'eavesdrop!' to hear a snippet of what my muse says about yours when they aren't around! Please only submit if we have interacted at least one time.

“Okay but real talk, J? Can we real talk right now. The lady at that is doing just the absolute most. You know the type. Taking on everyone’s problems, just piling everyone’s burden onto their own shoulders. At least from what I’ve seen, anyway. Which I guess makes sense for the kind of operation she’s running. I respect it, don’t get me wrong. Loads of respect. But unless she has some serious coping mechanisms it really seems like she’s gonna get so burnt out.”

[rin-and-jade]

I write to you in a haste! I am very unsure of what I am truly, I don't know if I am a system or not, but something that is consistent is that I don't have control over myself in some form or another. Now, sure, whatever, I could just go to a therapy right? WRONG! Because if I try to go therapy, I am physically, mentally, and everything unable to actually like explain my emotions, and say I'm in pain, and stuff, so instead I put on this persona of being okay. I don't have control over this, and I don't know why, I can't go to therapy to fix this because I can't go to therapy because of this! I have absolutely no idea what the ever living hell I should do.

I can like say this stuff online because it's a "not too close, not too far" thing and I can just drop everything and run away at any time. It's harder to just jump out of the window of a therapy office, and run away with no consequences.

I appreciate you coming to me, and because i wanted to help you on figuring out wether its a system thing or not, i still need you to elaborate some more details. You can come to my DMs if you want to, because im positive this needs a bit of a back and forth talking. Though, if that's not fine,, i'll list some questions i need you to answer and its fine wether its submitted via inbox or at the chat, okay? Here you go:

Do you have any other inconsistencies in personality?

Are there gaps on memory that can't be explained and still happen randomly?

Any thoughts or feelings or urges that pops up even if it feels foreign, or something you don't recognize where it came from?

Is there any other personas present excluding this one? How many can you guess if it's a yes.

If you have inner monologue, do you find yourself talking actual conversations, as if, like a real person responding to you? And could elaborate, add opinions, and etc.

How often do you feel different on the things you like, hate, or prefer, has it been confusing for you or has it been the same and stable?

I'll await for your another reply, take your time man.

- j