#sure i wanted to hear more about his physics research but everything else felt a little red flag-y and he just wasn't my type

[fairybumpkin]

ooo grindr is scary but i'm proud of myself for trying

[abiiors]

i saw someone ask this somewhere else and it had me thinking, how do you think Ross would act if he realised his partner has reached sub space?

obviously smut, no minors etc, etc. (i'm so sorry if i got things wrong, this is all based on what google told me)

okay so after an insane amount of research (maybe even some self-discovery along the way? 👀) here's what i think --

he's been making you cum for hours now, honestly you don't even know at this point, you've lost track of time. all you know is this feels so fucking good that you could cry honestly, maybe you are already crying, whimpering and sobbing as he rails into you and calls you his pretty little slut for taking him so well. which is everything you want to hear right now, that you've been good for him, that he has been enjoying himself and with each thrust and each slam of his hips you feel yourself slipping away more and more. your body feels like it's crumbling down and floating away on the breeze but in a GOOD way; freedom like you've never felt before. he notices how your cries die down, gradually get replaced by quiet, sweet hums of pleasure; unintelligent sounds that are somewhere between a moan and his name. he has a hand fisted in your hair that he uses to yank your head back so he can look at you properly, make sure you're alright. and that's when he sees the glazed out, far away look in your eyes, the way your head is practically lolling like you have no control of your body anymore, the dumb, absent smile on your face. and it dawns on him.

he's quite smug about getting you so cock drunk but he's also honed in his focus on any signs of discomfort or injury, signs that he might be pushing too far because you're too far gone to care about using your safe word. or being able to speak. so he pulls out for just a second so he can have you face him before continuing. pushes two fingers in your mouth that you swirl your tongue around and suck on while he keeps pounding into you in a gentle, sensual rhythm; hips bucking from the tight, wet feeling of you around him. it's a constant stream of praise after praise from his mouth too.

'your mouth was made for sucking on me wasn't it?'

'my needy little baby, what would you do without me?'

'did so well for me today, now just lay back and let me take care of you okay?'

and each time you hum around his fingers, it goes straight down to his cock. he knows how much you love this euphoric feeling, how much you wouldn't wanna come down from this high but everyone has to eventually and so he already has several things prepped for after the session for the both of you.

there's no way you're in any condition to move or walk on your own once the scene ends. but he's absolutely prepared for this. both of you have done your research into it and discussed your boundaries and what aftercare you would like etc. since your relationship is not JUST a dom/sub one (it's an actual romantic, monogamous relationship), he knows how much you would rely on just physical and emotional intimacy. so there's a whole aftercare routine.

he wraps you up in a soft blanket while he runs a bath for the two of you and makes sure to use your favourite bath bombs. it takes you some time to be verbal again but once you are (and once you're both in the bath; you between his legs, back pressed to his chest) he's asking questions like 'did you enjoy that?' and telling you how much he enjoyed it and how that was one of the best orgasms he's ever had (which is also true for you and you tell him that). and the glazed look in your eyes is still there so he makes sure to hold onto you and ask you about things you enjoyed the most and things you might want to skip the next time/didn't enjoy as much (there's barely any of that lmao, if any at all). he makes sure to wash your hair for you and give you a scalp massage while he's at it which makes you sleepier than before. but he's insistent on making you eat a small snack and have a warm beverage before you go to bed.

so once bath time is over, you're just both in the kitchen wrapped in fuzzy robes. he has the kettle on but he makes sure to let you grab onto his arm while he makes a small snack for the two of you. he absolutely adores how you latch onto him like a koala and how you hang onto his every word and get starry-eyed at every small compliment.

he also makes sure to check in emotionally for any signs of a sub drop (none for now but he's not going to stop checking in for the next two/three days. he's also not going to stop watching you closely). watching something together to wind down is out of the question since you're practically dozing off after two sips of your chamomile tea but he makes sure to dress you first in one of his t-shirts and some fuzzy socks while you're just there, speaking in a sleepy, love-sick voice, like 'you made me feel so good today. i love you so much. thank you for taking care of me.' and he appreciates it a lot because at the back of his mind he's always worried about accidentally hurting you but hearing you talk about how much you enjoyed it is all the reassurance he needs. and it doesn't take him long to fall asleep after that with how absolutely blissful and content he feels xo

[bloodyfeverdreams]

Day 1, 2, 3, 7 13, 15-Bakugou "doesn't get sick"

Trying another whumptober whoo hoo! I got a new job, a great one for the first time in my life lol, and I've got a lot of time to be able to sit down and just write. So I'm gonna try my hardest to finish this whumptober, I've been writing as much as I physically can haha

prompts- swooning, thermometer/delurium, "make it stop", "can you hear me", cold compress, "I'm fine"- fever, passing out, sick Katsuki, todobaku pre, shower scene ;)

Feel free to find this on AO3- https://archiveofourown.org/works/50196034/chapters/126773227

This is a long one, so I'm gonna put it under a cut.

Katsuki had been hot and sweaty all day, which is normally something he encouraged for his quirk to work at its highest potential, but today it just felt wrong. He wasn’t sure why, he always took very good care of his body, but something just wasn’t adding up. It was spring, and the weather was supposed to be very nice, but it felt like he couldn’t cool off no matter what he did. He felt like the sun was projecting pure heat through the window as he sat uncomfortably in class, trying his best to pay attention through one of the worst headaches he’d ever had in his life.

To make matters worse, Katsuki had been assigned fucking Todoroki as a partner for an upcoming hero research paper. He hated group work in the first place, but assigning him goddamn Todoroki (even if Aizawa claimed it was random, he never believed that bullshit, Aizawa lied to them all the time) was just adding insult to injury at this point. But he never shirked from his academic responsibilities, he was going to graduate top of his class, so he still had to actually try on this stupid assignment even though he didn’t want to work with the half-n-half bastard. His headache would just have to wait. The sooner they were done, the less he had to talk to IcyHot.

“We’re finishing this as fast as we fucking can,” Katsuki had hissed at Todoroki, who only stared back blankly. Bastard. “I don’t care if you have plans tonight, I’m coming over to your fucking room and we’re finishing this tonight.”

“Aizawa distinctly said we should not do this in one night.” God, even his voice irritated Katsuki. Everything about the bastard irritated Katsuki, from his stupid hair to his stupid muscles to his stupid blank face that never showed any thought Katsuki could pick up on. Kaminari had teased him over ‘how obsessed you are over Todoroki’ and how it ‘sounds like you liiiike him’ but he shut up when Katsuki pushed him off his chair.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “He was talking to the idiots who wait until the last minute to do the work.”

Like the idiots he couldn’t help but call friends because… well, he didn’t know what else to call them. They wouldn’t leave him alone, always forced him to participate in their activities, and every time he tried to leave the group chat they’d set up, he’d just be added right back in and chastised lightly as if he’d just made a small mistake. It had been hard to admit, but sometimes, only sometimes, Katsuki enjoyed their company, and even had fun once or twice. He would never admit to it, especially since he didn’t know how to feel about it, and he refused to be laughed at because he was unsure of these new feelings.

“I suppose we’ll find out when we attempt the assignment.” Todoroki said, which only infuriated Katsuki more, which caused his headache to spike. He wanted to argue some more, but having done it in the past proved its inefficiency. Todoroki never fucking reacted to anything he did, even when he was purposefully antagonizing the bastard just to see him make some kind of facial expression.

“Whatever. I’m coming over right after dinner,” and didn’t that sound disgusting, “so be ready.”

Todoroki nodded, and Katsuki almost felt cheated since Todoroki never reacted to anything he said. He’d seen Todoroki make facial expressions for fucking pathetic Deku, Katsuki was way better than him, why didn’t he get those reactions? Katsuki was ridiculously past good enough to get one of those stupid ass smiles or little puffs of laughter. Katsuki deserved that more than Deku ever would.

Getting through the rest of the day had been difficult, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He just had a headache from dealing with everyone’s bullshit, and the day was a fluke of being too hot, and he just had to get through it. Katsuki was the strongest person in this entire class, he could handle anything. It got easier after school when he took off his uniform and could put on a simple tank and shorts. At dinner, he forced himself to have some congee rather than his normal, nutritionally balanced meal, but the thought of food was so unappealing that forcing himself to cook and eat his routine foods almost outweighed his knowledge that he had to eat dinner in the first place.

When he went to put the half he couldn’t finish in the fridge, Kirishima was in the kitchen, burning whatever he was trying to make. Usually Katsuki could tell by smell alone, but this time he couldn’t smell anything but it was obviously burning. Even worse, Katsuki knew how to salvage his dinner and he didn’t have a reason not to tell him.

“Your heat is too high. Take it out now and it’ll only be slightly burnt.” Katsuki grumbled, rolling his eyes both at himself and his idiot best friend. He couldn’t believe he was best friends with someone who could barely function like an independent human being.

“Thanks, bro!” Katsuki had given up on Kirishima calling him ‘bro’, it seemed to be a core aspect of the redhead’s personality. The chipper smile directed at him as Kirishima did as he said kinda made up for it. Making his friends happy wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever done. “Are you done already? Usually you’re in here cooking up a storm, I was surprised not to see you.”

Kirishima then saw the congee in his hands as he put it in his tupperware, and he frowned. “Dude, is that all you had? Aren’t you the one always yelling at us to ‘make better dinners’? Are you okay?”

Katsuki bristled at the question, his pride flaring up in defense. “I have to work with fucking IcyHot on a dumb fucking project I don’t need a partner for, and apparently I can’t have a simple dinner for once without everyone jumping down my throat! The fuck do you think?”

“Okay, okay, sorry, bro.” Kirishima held up his hands in defense. “Just wanted to check in. You haven’t seemed yourself today.”

Katsuki glared at him. “I don’t need you to ‘check in’. Leave me the fuck alone.”

“If you say so, bro.” Kirishima shrugged. “We’re gonna have a smash brothers tournament at Denki’s tonight, you wanna join in?”

“You shits are lucky I can’t destroy you tonight.” Katsuki rolled his eyes. “I’m doing my fucking report, which is what you should be doing. When it’s two nights before it’s due, and you still haven’t done it, don’t come crying to me. I won’t help you.”

He would help them. His friends struggled with schoolwork, and if he was going to be seen with them then they had to live up to his reputation. Unfortunately, they couldn’t do that without his help, and he didn’t like watching his friends struggle and seeing them upset over their grades. That stupid feeling he hated outweighed his annoyance at helping them, so, he didn’t really have a choice if he didn’t want that stupid feeling he got when he saw his friends get upset. He didn’t know how, but somehow his idiots had figured that out, and they still came to him every time, and every time, despite him telling himself that he wouldn’t help them this time, he helped them regardless. They were all the worst and he hated them.

But for now, Katsuki was too busy hating the elevator’s stupidly bright lights to hate his friends anymore. Katsuki leaned against the metal, the coolness of the metal a balm on his overly hot skin. He’d never been so glad that the entirety of Heights Alliance had air conditioning. The day had been way too hot today, Katsuki had always been sensitive to hotter temperatures since he couldn’t cool his body through his sweat like other people did, which is probably why he hadn’t heard anyone else complain about it. But he could take anything, any temperature, any obstacle, because no hero worth their salt would let a thing like a hot day stop them so he refused to let it stop him.

Even though he really didn’t want to be doing this, he’d much prefer to just take a cold shower and go to bed early so the day would finally be over, he still pushed forward and went to Todoroki’s room. He went to just walk in, not like the bastard didn’t know he was coming, but the door was locked. He jiggled the door handle a little violently, clearly seeing the light was on under the door, but it still didn’t open. Katsuki’s eye twitched.

knock. knock.

It was the stiffest knock of his life, but apparently that was enough for Todoroki, who finally opened the door. “You knew I was coming, that was a dick move.”

“So is barging in unannounced.” Todoroki replied, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki’s eye twitched again.

“We should get started since you want to finish tonight.” Todoroki said, and Katsuki just growled, and then just set his stuff down on the tiny ass table Todoroki had. Sometimes, Katsuki had to choose his battles. Most of the time, he chose all battles, but this one he had to let go since he didn’t want his grade to suffer.

“I’m taking this pathetic excuse for a chair since you’re apparently so fine with being on the floor.” Katsuki said, referring to the mat Todoroki slept on. Todoroki didn’t protest, he merely just set the mat next to the thing that couldn’t even be called a desk really since it was too damn small. The room didn’t seem to have much in terms of temperature control, as the elevator had been much cooler. It was probably because Todoroki could regulate his own temperature, so he didn’t need the ac unit to do it for him. That was annoying as fuck.

The headache that Katsuki had been working very hard to ignore was becoming more and more of a problem as they worked. Katsuki could at least appreciate the monotone right now since it was quiet, and he spoke slowly enough that Katsuki could hear him despite the pounding in his head. A hammer was slamming into his head with every beat of his heart, and it just got worse as they kept going, the material not interesting enough to get past the pain. He would’ve given up and gone to sleep if he didn’t have to do this damn paper with Todoroki. The bastard couldn’t keep a secret for his life so in order to keep his reputation, he had to keep going, even through the worst headache he’d had in a long time. But with every beat of the hammer, he was losing his resolve. It was only his drive not to be weak that kept him going.

“Bakugou? Did you hear what I said?” Todoroki said, startling Katsuki a little.

“Of course I did. I was just thinking.” Katsuki snapped, trying to brush it off, ignoring the fact that he actually hadn’t heard what Todoroki had said. He hoped it wasn’t important.

“Thinking.” Todoroki echoed, but it wasn’t a question or a challenge. It was just a statement.

“That’s what I fucking said.”

“Are you alright, Bakugou?” Todoroki asked, and Katsuki could almost hear a touch of concern in the monotone. It pissed him off, though he wasn’t sure exactly why. “You’ve been strangely quiet today.”

“I’m fine.” Katsuki sneered, a violent threat in his voice.

Todoroki pursed his lips at him, but only continued on with what he was saying. Katsuki struggled to keep focusing on it, Todoroki’s voice was soothing in its quiet volume, but he couldn’t process the words the bastard was actually saying.

Dammit. He couldn’t keep doing this. If he actually turned in the report they were working on now, Katsuki would get the worst grade he’d ever gotten in his life, even though he very much understood the topic. His headache was just too bad, and the room had only gotten steadily hotter as they’d worked, and Katsuki couldn’t take it anymore, his reputation be damned. He’d just blame it on Todoroki not properly cooling his room and sweating him out of it.

“I’m done, I’m going to bed.” Katsuki said, gathering up his stuff as quickly as he could. He was a little uncoordinated in his haste, but he blamed it on the heat. “We’ll just do this tomorrow.”

Todoroki didn’t even show his surprise beyond a raised eyebrow. “I thought you wanted to do this in one night.”

“It’s not my fault your room is like a sauna and your voice is like a fucking icepick in my head!” Katsuki snapped, absolutely done with today. The room was so hot he was starting to get a little dizzy, and standing just made his vision swim for a moment. “How the fuck am I supposed to focus on court cases and legalities when the room is a million degrees and you won’t fucking shut up?”

That seemed to actually surprise Shouto, though it still only showed in his eyes. “Bakugou, my room isn’t hot. And I was only talking since you wouldn’t. You’ve barely said anything tonight.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, and then had to pinch his nose and shut his eyes when the room blurred, playing it off as annoyance. Dammit, he was so fucking hot. “You wouldn’t notice, you have that stupid temperature thing because of your quirk.”

“I turn on the ac when I have guests, Bakugou.” Todoroki said, and Katsuki scoffed. He was sweating far too much for that to be true. He didn’t doubt that Todoroki was lying, but there was no way the ac was actually on right now. The bastard must’ve just set it to the wrong setting, he wouldn’t be the first in their class to struggle with the thermostat, to his perpetual annoyance.

“Bakugou, I may not be an expert, but you do not look well.” Todoroki said, which only infuriated him more. If he was suddenly going to care about Katsuki, the least he could do was fucking show it. Katsuki knew not everyone wore their emotions on their sleeve, but Todoroki never seemed to have any emotion at all, not even when dealing with Katsuki.

“I’m fine.” Katsuki hissed, parroting what he said earlier, with the same vitriol.

“You clearly are not.” Todoroki said firmly. “I can regulate my own temperature, you’re correct, but I can still feel the temperature around me. My room isn’t hot, and you’re sweating like it’s summer. I think you should see Recovery Girl.”

Katsuki growled an incoherent shout. “I don’t need that old bat, there’s nothing wrong with me beyond suffering from dealing with all you idiots. Fuck off!”

Katsuki turned to leave, but his vision swam so quickly that he had to stop mid-step. His hand came to his eyes, trying to steady himself, forcing himself to push through the heat. But before he could get his body to work, his backpack slipped through his fingers as his vision went black.

“-ugou. Bakugou. Bakugou.” Someone was shaking him, insistence in their voice. He groaned lightly, his eyes fluttering, his head pounding even harder than before. He squinted, and Todoroki then came into focus. He was wearing a look Katsuki had never seen before. It looked almost like worry, but Katsuki couldn’t tell.

He groaned again, and then he felt something blissfully cool against his forehead, easing his headache and the unbearable heat he was trapped in. He sighed, his eyes managing to stay open now. He was in Todoroki’s arms, with Todoroki’s right hand pressed against his forehead. He remembered that Todoroki’s right side was cool, and Katsuki wanted to just sink into him.

“Wha- happen?” Katsuki said, the act of speaking a struggle it had never been before.

“You passed out.” Todoroki said, a frown tugging at his lips. “You have a fever. I’m going to take you to Recovery Girl.”

Todoroki began to push them both upwards, but Katsuki shook his head. “No! No. ‘M fine. Just… just need to sleep it off. ‘M fine.”

“You are not fine, Bakugou.” Todoroki groaned, and Katsuki could’ve sworn he heard concern and frustration in Todoroki’s voice. But that was impossible, Katsuki never got emotion from Todoroki, no matter how hard he tried. “You literally just passed out. You’re sick, Bakugou.”

“I don’t get sick.” Katsuki said, and that was completely true. Katsuki got sick so rarely that he couldn’t even remember the last time. “Be fine. Just need sleep. Don’t need help.”

“You can’t stand on your own.” Todoroki said, deadpan. Katsuki frowned at that, and he opened his mouth again, but Todoroki cut him off. “If you say you’re fine one more time, I’m going to throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and drag you to Recovery Girl.”

Katsuki pouted at that, and stayed silent for a moment, knowing Todoroki was just as serious with his threats as he was.

“I don’t get sick.” He repeated. “Just need to sleep this off.”

Todoroki pursed his lips again, clearly torn between what to do, before he sighed, obviously coming to a decision. “Fine. I’ll take you to your room, but only for now. I can’t tell if this is just your pride or if this is actually how your body works. If you get worse, I’m taking you to Recovery Girl no matter what you say.”

Katsuki nodded, and went to get up, pushing himself up on noodly arms. He immediately fell back into Todoroki. Thankfully, Todoroki didn’t comment on his weakness, he just wrapped Katsuki’s arm around his shoulder and pushed them both up. With Todoroki’s support, Katsuki could mostly walk, his feet dragging a little as he couldn’t raise his feet off the ground very high.

The elevator ride down to the fourth floor was silent, almost awkward. Katsuki couldn’t find the strength to say anything, but Todoroki didn’t seem to mind the silence. Right now, he just wanted his bed more than anything in the world.

Their next obstacle was Katsuki’s door, as he always locked it when he wasn’t in his room. He couldn’t remember where he put his keys at first, patting down his pockets. Suddenly a hand reached into his back pocket and he yelped a little at the surprise, his reaction was too slow, but he still hated being startled with touch. Had for a long time. Todoroki then handed him his keys, with a sheepish look on his face. “I saw them in your pocket. Thought I’d save you the trouble.”

Katsuki took the keys and opened his door, using the door handle to keep himself up, trying to keep himself upright on his own. Todoroki went to follow him in and Katsuki growled again.

“No one goes in my room.”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Todoroki said, a little snippy, uncaring that he was stepping into Katsuki’s space.

Todoroki turned on the lights, and Katsuki hissed as his headache spiked, unconsciously pressing himself into the nape of Todoroki’s neck. Todoroki immediately turned the light off with a quiet “sorry.” before he started walking again.

Katsuki flopped into bed with all the grace of a newborn giraffe, but his bed was cool (he had special sheets so he wouldn’t overheat as he slept, his parents had designed them for him) and that was all that mattered to him. He rolled onto his side, felt something lift his legs into the bed, and he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow, just barely feeling a cool hand brush his sweaty bangs out of his face.

“- been asleep for a little while… nothing’s changed…”

“- not sure, Todoroki. He really doesn’t get sick that often. I think the last time was over five years ago. Even I don’t really remember.”

He knew that voice. Goddammit, he knew that voice and he went to glare at fucking useless Deku, but he was still squinting in the darkness he’d woken up in, lessening its effect. Todoroki had left the door open a little, the hall lights shining in his room far too brightly for his headache. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but his mind wasn’t as fuzzy as before. Still way too fucking hot though.

“You got fucking Deku?” Katsuki growled, refusing to admit that it sounded more like a whine.

“I didn’t know anyone else who would know how your body works when it’s sick.” Todoroki said matter-of-factly, coming back over to Katsuki’s bed. He was mostly forgiven when he put his cool hand back on Katsuki’s burning forehead, getting a soft noise Katsuki didn’t even know he made.

“Well, his parents will know, for sure.” Deku said to Todoroki. Katsuki glared harder. “I can call them, figure out where to go from here.”

Todoroki nodded.

Deku then handed Todoroki a rather big box that Katsuki surprisingly recognized. Auntie Inko knew how injured they got in training, especially since Deku wouldn’t fucking stop constantly breaking all of his bones, and had gifted him the same first aid kit that Deku held in his hands. Actually, it really wasn’t a first aid kit but a mini hospital, with so many things Katsuki didn’t know when he’d ever use some of them. (Seriously, Auntie, when was he gonna need a goddamn stethoscope?) He’d only taken it because his mother would’ve been mad if he made Auntie cry, not that he could handle her tears anyways, and, well… secretly he could appreciate the gesture. He never understood why Auntie continued to try and take care of him even though he really wanted nothing to do with her son, but he supposed that’s just how she was. Deku too, but he was way more annoying about it.

“You should take his temperature, if he’ll let you.” Deku said, still talking to Todoroki and not him. “You’ll have a way better chance with him than I will.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” Katsuki shouted, immediately regretting the loudness when he made his own headache worse.

“Sorry, Kacchan.” Katsuki just glared at him, fighting off the wince he’d just given himself. “I- I’ll just go call Uncle Masaru now.”

Deku stepped out of the room, and Todoroki set the kit down onto his nightstand, digging through it with one hand, keeping his right hand on Katsuki’s forehead.

“There are three thermometers in here.” Todoroki stated, seemingly a little overwhelmed by Auntie’s overprotective nature. “And they’re all different.”

Katsuki made a noncommittal noise. Something then pushed gently at his mouth, and he turned his glare to Todoroki.

“I can’t use the other ones, I’ve been cooling you off too much.” Todoroki said, poking him again. “They won’t give accurate results. This is the only one left.”

“I can do it myself.” Katsuki said, trying to move his mouth as little as possible.

Todoroki sighed, definitely sounding frustrated. “Bakugou, will you please just put your damn pride aside for two minutes? I just want to help you. You’re my friend. Let me help you.”

This was the first he’d heard about them being friends, though he supposed he had started paying more attention to Todoroki after their supplemental classes. He hadn’t thought it had been reciprocated though. But even if they were friends now, this was something he couldn’t allow. He wasn’t weak, he didn’t need help, not even Todoroki’s.

Not even if a dark part of him wanted to accept it.

Moving his body was like trying to move through molasses, but he did eventually get his arm out from under the blanket (when did he get a blanket?) and he reached for the thermometer. Todoroki sighed, but gave it to him. This time, the silence was awkward as they waited for the thermometer to beep. He wasn’t sure why this time was so different.

Deku was the one who broke it when he came back in. He still didn’t like anyone in his room, but he didn’t have the strength to blast the fucker out, even if he did have the sweat.

“Uncle said that there’s not much we can do except keep him cool, the illness just has to run its course.” Deku frowned, trying not to talk directly to Todoroki and failing. “And. um. Auntie Mitsuki said, um, not to take any of his, uh, ‘bullshit’. Her words, not mine.”

Todoroki just nodded. Katsuki didn’t know what that meant.

Once the thermometer finally beeped, Todoroki withdrew it without asking permission. Oh, that’s what that meant. Damn hag, and damn Deku. Todoroki took everything too literally, Deku should’ve fucking translated his mother’s stupid words.

“39.27 (102.7)” The monotone was back. Katsuki felt an emotion he didn’t know how to describe, but it wasn’t pleasant. “That’s higher than I was expecting, though unsurprising.”

“Yeah, Uncle said when Kacchan gets sick, he really gets sick.”

Katsuki growled at him again, wanting to yell and blow him up but trying not to be stupid and repeat past mistakes. His head was still throbbing from the earlier shout.

“I-I-I should go, Todoroki.” Deku said, shrinking away from him. “I think I’m just making it worse. He doesn’t want me here.” No. No he didn’t. Especially since he wouldn’t stop talking about him like he wasn’t there in his own fucking room. “Do you want to come with me? I’m sure Kirishima wouldn’t mind looking after him.”

The beat in between Deku’s question and Todoroki’s answer made the emotion he had worse.

“No. I’ll keep him cool for now. It’s no trouble.” Katsuki didn’t know whether that made him happy or annoyed. God, he hated emotions, they were literally the worst. It was so much easier to just be angry all the time.

“Don’t forget to not overuse your quirk, Todoroki. Just let one of us know if you get too cold. We’ll figure something out.”

Todoroki just nodded and Deku very quickly left the room. If Katsuki was more childish like his friends, he would’ve flipped him off as he left. But Deku didn’t deserve what little energy he had, and closing the door until very little light was left was at least the decent thing to do.

“You can leave, IcyHot.” Katsuki grumbled. “I’m-mmph.” Suddenly Todoroki’s cool hand was over his mouth. Katsuki did not like that, he didn’t like anyone touching his face and it had only gotten worse since the-incident-that-shall-not-be-named. He nipped at Todoroki’s hand, and it quickly returned to his forehead, but the message to shut up was loud and clear.

“Stop saying you’re fine.” Todoroki snapped, and Katsuki thought he almost sounded angry. Katsuki didn’t know that Todoroki could even get angry. “Stop lying to me. I don’t care about your stupid pride, and I cannot understand why you won’t let it go for two seconds for your friends. I want to help you but I can’t if you won’t let me. Why won’t you let me? Do you… do you hate me?”

Grand displays of emotion were hard for him. Grand displays of emotion coming from Todoroki were another beast entirely. Katsuki had no idea how to respond to this, and if he wasn’t sick, he wouldn’t have responded to it beyond anger. But right now, with a fever he could no longer deny, his mind didn’t immediately go to the rage he used to shield him from emotions he didn’t like. It just took much energy that he didn’t have, and he hated himself for his weakness.

“No.” Was Katsuki’s response, and it was a lot more awkward than he’d wanted it to be.

“Then why won’t you stop lying to me?” Todoroki said, looking just as uncomfortable as Katsuki was. But apparently, not uncomfortable enough to shut up and let this go. “I thought you respected me, at least a little.”

Shit. Katsuki did not like letting people know when he respected them. They never responded in  a way that Katsuki liked or could handle, either acting all smug about it or like it was obvious that they deserved it. Both reactions drove Katsuki up the wall.

Thinking about this was too hard, even with the soothing coolness Todoroki was projecting. He didn’t do emotions, and everything he was feeling right now just made him even uncomfortable in his skin. He’d take the fever and headache over this any day.

“I didn’t lie to you, I’m fine by myself.” Katsuki said. “I can take care of myself.”

“Except you won’t.” Todoroki snapped again and Katsuki internally cursed at his mother for putting this idea into Todoroki’s stupid head. “Taking care of yourself would’ve been canceling our plans, or going to see Recovery Girl. You refused to do either. That’s not taking care of yourself. You couldn’t even admit to me that you weren’t feeling well after you literally passed out in my arms. You’re lucky I was there to catch you, what if you weren’t with me? What if it happened when you’d stepped into the hall and I hadn’t followed you? You might’ve gotten a concussion or worse. If you don’t hate me, then why can’t you let me care about you?”

Katsuki unconsciously curled a little into himself, his quills puffing up, ready to lash out at any moment. His head hurt, and even with the frosty air Todoroki was creating he was on fire, he just couldn’t deal with this right now. Being sick for the first time in years was already way too much for him, he’d never felt so shitty in his life, and having fucking Todoroki of all people see him this weak made him so uncomfortable he didn’t have a word for it. Katsuki didn’t understand why Todoroki was so upset, and thinking about it hurt his head too much. He didn’t even have an answer for Todoroki. He didn’t have an answer when his friends asked him the same question after they were fed up with his insistence on independence and refusing to accept their help. He’d learned the hard way that sometimes he had to depend on other people, but that hadn’t made it any easier to deal with. So he’d rather just not deal with it at all.

After a fair amount of silence, Todoroki just sighed, sounding resigned. This was the most emotion Katsuki had seen out of Todoroki since he’d met the bastard. Katsuki thought that was very rude, and he should’ve gotten this a lot earlier. Though, he could do without the annoyance and anger. “You should get some sleep, Bakugou.”

Well, now he was purposefully not gonna do that, even though he was exhausted. Once spite was activated there was no stopping it. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Then stop being an idiot.” Todoroki hissed.

Katsuki glared at Todoroki but it didn’t matter since Todoroki still wasn’t looking at him, only straight ahead.

“Don’t fucking insult me.”

“I’ll do whatever I want, thanks.” Todoroki said, matching his energy. “Since that’s all you do, I get to do it too.”

“Oh fuck you!” Katsuki snapped, absolutely done with this stupid bastard, throwing his own words in his face was the last straw. “Get the fuck out of my room! Leave me the fuck alone!”

It was quiet for a minute.

“Fine.”

Todoroki ripped his hand away from Katsuki’s forehead and stood sharply. He walked out without another word, and Katsuki expected the door to slam and prepared himself for it. But Todoroki caught it just before it did, and he closed the door quietly behind him.

Katsuki stared at the door for a moment, almost in disbelief. Todoroki never got angry, let alone to this extreme. He thought even Deku hadn’t seen that before, the damn nerd would’ve said something. Even though Katsuki liked antagonizing Todoroki, liked seeing if he could get the bastard to show emotion, even if it was negative emotions, this didn’t… this didn’t make him feel good. The emotion he hadn’t been able to describe twisted in his gut, making his chest hurt in a way that it never had before. He wanted to get Todoroki riled up, it’s why he talked to him the way he did, the way he purposely tried to push the bastard’s buttons, that was his end goal. He wanted to see Todoroki show some sort of emotion, any sort of emotion.

So why did that make him feel so shitty?

Getting what he wanted never made him feel bad in the past. It was a point of pride for him that he basically always got what he wanted, that he’d earned what he’d wanted. Katsuki was always so sure of himself, he always knew what he wanted, and he did everything he could to get it.

Was this… actually what he wanted? Somehow, he didn’t think so. Which never happened, Katsuki always knew what he wanted, and he never regretted anything. (Well, he regretted a few things but he never let himself think about them so that was basically the same thing.) But the more the silence of the room echoed in his ears, the more he regretted saying any of those things, and not just because he’d lost the hand that had been keeping his headache at a somewhat manageable level. The icepick in his head only seemed to make his actions seem worse, and Katsuki did not like that. Even though he knew he was an asshole with no filter, and no intent on getting one, this felt like he’d gone too far. He’d gone too far a couple of times in his life, and this felt worse than all of them.

With the door closed, heat was starting to build up in his room, and the blanket that he still didn’t know how he got was kicked around to his legs. His hand flopped around to his nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing the remote for his ac unit. He turned it down several degrees, and didn’t have the energy to put it back. His hand just fell to his bed, and his eyes closed on their own accord. Even though he’d wanted to stay up to spite Todoroki, despite the fact that he couldn’t remember why anymore, his body just started to shut down on its own. At least sleep would be a reprieve from the overwhelming pain in his chest and his head, so he surrendered to the thick haze of sleep and hoped he’d wake up without this agony.

Blood. Blood and screams and death and fear. Katsuki spun around, lost and scared, wanting to run but unsure of where he could run to. Screams rang in his ears from all directions, each one different yet full of the same agony. Each one echoed their pain into his heart, overwhelming him with emotions he couldn’t handle. Unable to take anymore, his legs took off running without thinking, his chest heaving as the torturous screams pierced his chest.

He skidded to a stop as an image flashed in his mind, his own scream blending into the background. Deku’s body was still crackling with energy, his green lightning dying as Deku lay still. His arms and legs were both black, bent in horrific ways, and Katsuki’s stomach lurched as his gaze finally landed on Deku’s chest. His ribs had pierced through his skin, his chest cavity a mess of blood and bone, surprise still written on Deku’s lax face, his green eyes dull and lifeless. Again, Katsuki’s legs took off without his consent, tears streaming down Katsuki’s face as nausea built in his stomach.

His arms flailed as he slipped on something wet and sticky, crashing into some sort of small building. Looking up, Katsuki screamed again, seeing Kirishima spread eagle across the top, his head hanging down, his neck brutally slit open, dripping blood into the fiery red hair he was so famous for. Katsuki slipped again in his haste to get up, realizing with a sickening jolt that he was slipping on Kirishima’s blood.

“Make it stop.” Katsuki sobbed. “Make it stop.”

He finally got up again, only to freeze in place. In front of him was Ashido, lying in a heap, her neck bone protruding from her skin as her head twisted the other way. As more and more tears spilled down his cheeks, he turned and turned and turned. Jirou, her own earphones wrapped around her red, raw neck. Sero hanging from his own tape, his limp hands still stuck from trying to free himself. Kaminari’s head soaked, water still dripping from his motionless mouth. His world began to spin, and he crashed to the ground, curling into a ball.

“Make it stop.” Katsuki covered his ears and shut his eyes, trying to block it all out. “Please, make it stop.”

The world went silent.

Katsuki warily opened his eyes. Vast ground filled only with empty space. He was too scared to try and speak, terrified that the death and screams and blood would come back. No matter where he looked, all he found was emptiness until he came across Todoroki, laying on the ground too, facing away from him.

He crawled over hesitantly, his mouth moving to speak Todoroki’s name but his vocal cords refused to make any noise. Katsuki’s hand hovered over Todoroki’s body for a moment, not seeing anything on his red side. Maybe he was just unconscious? His hand finally landed on Todoroki’s arm, frowning as it was cool. No, no, his red was his fire side, he should’ve been warm. His hand jerked as he pulled it back, causing Todoroki to roll over.

Katsuki screamed again, his voice laden with agony as Todoroki’s head lolled to the side. His white side had completely disappeared, charred to ash, his skin covered in burns matching the scar on his face. He cowered away, his hands dragging him away from Todoroki’s dead body. He slipped again, curling back into a ball, sobbing.

Everyone he had ever cared about was gone, and Katsuki was alone. Emptiness beat in his ears, the silence louder than any of the screams had been. His sobs echoed across the vastness, his breath the only other sound. He longed for his friends, wanted someone to still be with him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he would have more than himself to keep him company, to make him smile just a little, to make him let out a breathy laugh. To watch with amusement as they did something stupid, being far too noticeable when he was socially awkward with his stupid confused face, silently sitting with him when they knew he wanted company but couldn’t take any more noise. Grabbing him in one arm hugs, ruffling his hair and dodging when he swatted at them, squishing him when they were all crammed together in too small of a space to fit all of them. He wanted that back, he wanted them back so badly, he’d do anything.

“Anything, huh?” The back of his neck burned, and he was lifted off the ground. He writhed in the grip, sludge rising from the ground to latch onto his body, forcing him into submission.

“No, no, please, stop!” Katsuki wailed, the sludge only growing stronger, binding his body in muck. The heat on the back of his neck increased, and another hand forced his head forward, his eyes only able to focus on Todoroki’s lifeless body. “Not like this, not like this!”

“Aw, I thought you said ‘anything’.” The voice taunted. “Don’t you love them? Wouldn’t you do anything for them? You know we have an offer for you, you remember our last one.”

“Can’t.” Katsuki wanted to shake his head, but the grip was too strong. “Won’t betray them.”

“Then die with them.”

Katsuki couldn’t move, his entire body now encased in the sludge, could barely talk as the goo began to tease at going in his mouth and down his throat. 

“Not again.” Katsuki gasped, feeling the horrid taste of the sludge as it crept slowly, maliciously, into his mouth. “Please not again.”

A mocking laugh, and then the sludge forced itself down his throat, cutting off his air. Katsuki panicked, writhing with great strength, but useless, so uselessly. The world spun one last time as he grew dizzy from hypoxia, and he fell into darkness with taunting laughter echoing around him.

Katsuki jolted up in bed, a silent scream on his lips. His eyes rolled at the heat of his room, just as dizzy as he was in his fever induced nightmare, practically seeing the waves of heat energy radiating from his furniture, his walls. He had to cool down. If he didn’t cool down, he thought he was going to die, his body melting into his bed.

His room had a shower. The door was right there. He just had to get there, the water could cool him down. He pushed himself up, his arms too shaky to hold him for long. Maneuvering his body was like trying to walk straight in a gyroscope. He stepped forward with his left foot, shaking as he stood, desperately trying to go forward. His right foot was next, but it was still tangled up in the blanket of unknown origin. He tried to pull it free, but another strong bout of dizziness sent him tumbling to the floor.

The world faded in and out as he lay on the floor, his arms trying to push himself up, but he crashed back down every time. He just didn’t have the strength to get up, the attempts draining what little he had until he just gave up. His vision flickered in and out, his sweat soaking into his carpet, his heart carrying agony all over his body, igniting each nerve with a bonfire, his head pounding like a thunderstorm’s rage.

“Sorry to disturb you…”

“Eh, no worries, Todoroki. If Bakubro needs me, then I’m there, no matter what.”

Even though the door was closed, Katsuki could still hear the voices through it. The dorm walls carried sound better than any speaker.

His door quietly creaked open, driving another spike of pain into his head. “Bakugou? Hey man, are you- oh shit!”

Light blinded him for a moment, before he felt a cold arm heave him up, cradling him in iciness. He whimpered, the sudden shock of frigidity making him wince. A warmer hand came to his forehead before jerking back with a hiss.

“He’s burning up.” Kirishima gasped, cursing again.

“Kirishima, get Recovery Girl.” Todoroki ordered, taking charge of the situation. “I’m gonna try to cool him down.”

Kirishima nodded, his face set in his ‘serious mode’. His best friend should’ve been a comfort, but seeing Kirishima’s frown and furrowed brow just made him a little scared. Kirishima was one of the smiliest people he’d ever met, and Katsuki always told him that his face would get stuck like that. It was always laughed off, bringing out that same smile, which always made Katsuki roll his eyes. But he still liked seeing it, and when it was missing, Katsuki didn’t like it, not one bit.

“Don’t use your quirk, use his shower.” Kirishima said, standing. “Anything lower than room temperature is too cold, you’ll send him into shock.”

Todoroki just nodded, and Katsuki wondered if he’d already known that, or if his temperature regulation thing kept him from getting fevers. Kirishima bolted out the door, his steps thudding down the hall then the stairs.

Another arm came to his knees, and he was lifted into the air. His vision swirled again, able to tell he was moving but unable to process anything else. His legs were gently placed on the ground, but then the sound of a massive waterfall assaulted him and he turned back into the soft, wintry physique. But then he was pulled away from it, and he didn’t know whether that felt good or bad. The waterfall then disappeared, and he saw that Todoroki had switched the tap to shower.

The arm came back to his knees, and another dizzying bit of motion finished with water pelting at him, as he was pressed against something that didn’t feel hot or cold. Even though the water droplets were needle-sharp, they were cool, and Katsuki sank into it, feeling the water soothe the bonfire under his skin. He wasn’t sure how long he was under the spray before his mind finally cleared enough to focus on his surroundings. Katsuki was laying against Todoroki, who was holding him up by his waist, in Katsuki’s shower. Katsuki decided to be embarrassed about this later, when he didn’t feel so shitty and when Todoroki wasn’t keeping him from drowning in his own shower.

“‘roki?” Katsuki groaned, his voice weak and quiet. But thankfully Todoroki still heard him.

“Yes, Bakugou?”

“I don’ feel so good.” Katsuki said, looking up at Todoroki. He must’ve looked like a drowned cat, his hair soaked and stuck to his forehead, his clothes soaked to the skin, his skin showing through his white tank top, Katsuki didn’t think he’d ever looked so pathetic in his life.

“No shit.” Todoroki muttered grumpily. “You couldn’t have said that a few hours ago?”

Katsuki ducked his head a little, his cheeks were already flushed but the pink got a little stronger. “Couldn’t. Can’t be weak. Specially not in front of you.”

That made Todoroki pause, and then meet his eye again. “Me?”

Katsuki nodded shakily.

“Why?” Todoroki breathed, the shower louder than both of their voices.

“Because… you’re so strong.” Katsuki mumbled, the fever that still raged within him loosening his tongue. If he were coherent, he’d rather be caught dead than saying shit like this, but he was still so hot and the water felt so good and his mind felt so worn thin that he just kept talking. “Noticed the first day I saw you. Never met anyone like you. Stronger than me. Pissed me off.”

Todoroki scoffed. “Of course it would.” a sigh. “But why would that mean you can’t be ‘weak’ around me?”

“Weakness doesn’t get notice. ‘N like that. Wanted notice.”

There was another beat of silence. Katsuki turned his head into Todoroki’s cooler side, using him as an ice pack for his still aching head.

“Are you saying that you thought I wouldn’t notice you if I thought you were weak?” Todoroki murmured, his voice low and uncertain.

His body was starting to get wracked with tremors, but he managed a nod through it. He couldn’t tell if he was shivering or shaking, just feeling his body vibrate, and the bonfire inside him was starting to win the battle against the water. His body went limp as the fire began to consume him, his eyes rolling around in his head.

“I, I… Bakugou? Bakugou, what’s wrong? Bakugou!” Todoroki’s voice jumped in emotion, in worry, but Katsuki could no longer differentiate the emotions. Todoroki was little more than a red and white blur now, Katsuki’s world spinning faster than a top, black spots dotting his vision, growing larger with each rotation. His mind lost all sense of reality, darkness swirling around him like a maelstrom. Voices again rang in his ears, but he couldn’t distinguish one from another.

“-hear me? Bakugou, can you hear me?”

“He was talking a minute ago, but…”

“-unresponsive -get him to the infirmary- covery girl can- hurry…”

Someone grabbed his arms, hauling him into the air, and the sudden movement had him blacking out entirely, falling into the black hole the maelstrom had created.

~~

Consciousness was murky, muddying his perception into something unintelligible as he slipped in and out of the darkness always on the edge of his mind. He wasn’t sure how long it took for his mind to clear, but the longer time went on, he sluggishly began to become more aware of his surroundings. He discovered new pain in his hand, but the agony in his head had subsided a great deal, though it wasn’t entirely gone. He was laying on something familiar but uncomfortable, his body propped up against it. To his immense relief, he found that he wasn’t on fire for the first time in what felt like days. 

Dazedly, he opened his eyes, immediately squinting at the bright overhead lights. It took him a minute to adjust, but the light didn’t increase his headache much, so he managed easily enough. White walls came into focus, along with cool, white sheets on the bed he couldn’t remember getting in, with a light blue canvas on his chest. He pulled lightly at it, confused, and pulled his hand up to his vision. No wonder it hurt, there was an IV stabbed through his hand, drawing out a noise of discomfort. He felt like he hadn’t slept in years, his mind struggling to keep up with the world around him.

Footsteps had his head immediately turning, his instincts sharper than any discombobulation, and he made another discovery, movement didn’t make him dizzy anymore. But that didn’t answer the question of what had happened, but the old woman walking towards him at least contributed to it. He knew this room, this was the infirmary, but he couldn’t remember how he got here.

“Ah, young Bakugou, I was wondering when you’d come back to us.” The old bat said, sounding far too cheerful.

He frowned at her, trying and failing to process her words in time as Recovery Girl walked up to his bed. His head still swam in uncertainty, cognizance lagging out like one of his friends’ video games. She stood on one of her little step-stools, coming up to his level, patting his hand gently before putting something uncomfortable in his ear. He groaned, attempting to turn away, but she cupped his cheek, gently but firmly keeping him in place.

“Keep still, it’s alright.” Her voice was as gentle as her hand, but that didn’t soothe him much. “Just a few seconds more.”

A quiet beeping and she kept her word. “38.44 (101.2). Much better, considering you came in at 40.5 (104.9). Any higher and you might’ve had permanent brain damage.”

Oh shit. That was bad. That was very bad. A brief flash of fear ran up his spine, a spike of anxiety panging in his stomach.

“Wha’ happ’n?” Katsuki asked, his voice hoarse from disuse.

“A stress fever.” She replied, handing him a little paper cup of water. His hand was shaking a little as he took it, but he kept her help to a minimum. “Unsurprising, considering the amount of stress you all are under, you especially. Normally, they’re not an issue, and they fade rather quickly, but you’re a special case. As you know, your sweat can’t cool you down like most people so you’re easily affected by fevers. Since you didn’t come to me, or do anything to reduce it, your fever just worsened and worsened until your body couldn’t take it anymore. You’re very lucky that Todoroki and Kirishima found you when they did.”

Jumbled memories came to the forefront of his mind, of Kirishima’s voice in his room, a hand on his forehead, of Todoroki carrying him, holding him as they lay in the shower. Fuck, that was embarrassing, and the chastising Recovery Girl was giving just made him feel even worse.

“Didn’t notice.” He said, needing to defend himself, his pride leaving him unable to do anything less. After all, it wasn’t like he’d done this on purpose. He may hate being in this damn room, but he wasn’t stupid enough to not seek medical help when he was seriously sick. He just honestly hadn’t noticed something was wrong until it was too late. He’d dealt with plenty of hot and uncomfortable days before so he thought yesterday had been no different. “Not til af’r dinner. Don’t get sick.”

“Yes, young Midoriya said that.” Recovery Girl sighed. “As did your parents when I called them. They said since they’re currently in Madrid, they’d do their best, but the flight home is rather long, even without layovers. Hopefully, by the time they do get here, you’ll be fever free.”

Well, his day just got a lot worse. Katsuki hated it when his parents had to pick him up from school. He didn’t need his parents to come and fuss over him, he wasn’t a baby.

His unhappiness must’ve shown on his face, since Recovery Girl just tutted at him. “Give them a break, you gave them quite a scare. You’ve gotten very good at that.”

Katsuki huffed, definitely not pouting.

“Really, I should’ve expected something like this to happen.” She muttered. He cocked his head in confusion. “It’s been a week since I’ve had one of you in here, and if someone from 1A isn’t in here, something is very wrong.”

He had to admit, that seemed like solid logic. He was classmates with the biggest dumbasses he’d ever met, and they were all klutzy and accident prone, and that was off the battlefield.

“Speaking of your classmates,” ah hell, what do those idiots want now? “when you’re feeling up to it, you’ll have plenty of visitors.”

Oh fuck no, he was not doing that. His classmates were so emotional, crying and pitying and all sorts of terrible shit he hated being around. He got uncomfortable when one of his friends was upset, he couldn’t take the whole class. Leaving before Recovery Girl said he could sounded like a much better option. He’d rather get yelled at than deal with all of his dumbasses.

“Try to get out of this bed and I’ll sedate you.” Recovery Girl said bluntly. Katsuki deflated, miserably becoming resigned to his fate. Obviously, this was just going to be one of the shittiest days of his life and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“I’ll keep them from overwhelming you.” She said sympathetically, patting his hand again, and that was at least something. Normally, he would’ve snapped that he didn’t need her pity, but he could tell it wasn’t pity. He didn’t quite know what it was, but anything was better than pity. “But for right now, you should get some sleep. Let your body’s natural processes heal you. I’d much rather have your body heal itself, I don’t like how high a dosage of fever reducer I have to give you to help you fight this. I want to take you off that as soon as I can.”

Ah, that explained the IV, and why his mind wasn’t working right. He’d seen his idiot friends on too much cold medicine before, he’d just never experienced it himself until now. It was a lot more disconcerting than he would’ve thought. Next time, he’d have to watch more closely when one of his idiots got sick, this fucking sucked.

Sleep did sound like a fantastic idea, though. Keeping up with this conversation was taking far too much energy than it should’ve, and Katsuki was just fucking done. Even better, if he slept the rest of the day away, he could avoid all of the extras and idiots who wanted to ‘visit’ him and annoy him with their presence. The medication was no doubt keeping his spite under control, as when Recovery Girl stepped down to do other shit he didn’t give a fuck about, he could just close his eyes and let the exhaustion that been on the edge of his mind since he woke up take him without much resistance.

[mysteriawrites]

hi dear! i hope you doing great! <3

I was wondering can I have male honkai star rail matchup please?

i’m a girl, 19, aries, enfp, my pronouns are she/her. i could be really shy sometimes due to my bad anxiety, but mostly i’m very sweet and bubbly person, i deeply care about my friends, and i’m super affectionate with people who i love. also, my love language is physical touch!!! i’m also very sensitive and emotional person, but i’m fully open with my feelings only with close people in my life. my height is 5’5, i have a petite figure, have some boob, long brown hair and green eyes, i would describe my style as a hyperfeminine, but i also love to dress cozy! i’m polyglot and i speak 6 languages, and i’m studying linguistics in uni. my other passions are makeup, cinematography and music ofc! i’m obsessed with rabbits and bunnies and all the bunny-themed items! i love cute things, such as clothes, accessories, makeup, stuffies and etc. my ideal partner is someone tall and protective, who would take care of me and be attentive to me and my feelings! and also someone who would cuddle me a lot <3

hope it’s okay! sorry for my grammar, english isn’t my first language. i hope you have a nice day <3

Hihi thank you so much for the request. Don't worry about grammar it's the internet no one uses proper grammar anyway even typing this I spelled so many words wrong and made grammatical errors and relied on autocorrect. Anywho without further ado (heh rhyming) DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

ARLAN!!!

(Yeah, I wanted to use a gif like I do for the rest of the matchups but apparently there aren't enough of Arlan available on the Tumblr database, and I couldn't outsmart the system by uploading one as a picture so yeah sorry about that).

Not a lot is known about Arlan: he's definitely on the quiet side, has a dog named pepe, and is loyal to a fault to Asta. He's a very private person. However, when Asta introduced him to you, the newest researcher on the station and old family friend, he had to admit that something in him wanted to be around you (Pepe liked you too so that was also a good sign).

As he showed you around the space station, he found that he was the one doing most of the talking, which was a first for him, he's always been more of the listening type. Something about you seemed to ease his nerves which ironically made him uneasy. He didn't understand what he was feeling at all.

After he finished helping you, he decided to ask "Master" Capote about what these strange feelings were (he in these exact words "didn't want to bother Asta over such trivial matters"). Capote told him in a blunt manner that he must be in love. Arlan almost had a panic attack at those words. Him?! In love?! There's no way in the whole galaxy!

However, the longer he denied those feelings the stronger they became. He wanted to be around you more, learn about you and your interests, hear your voice, all the things you'd expect from a schoolboy crush. It doesn't help that he started getting closer to you and you showed off your adorably bubbly personality. So, he went back to Capote.

Now he knows Capote isn't the best person to ask for love advice, but he doesn't have a whole lot of options. Capote ends up telling him about that women like guys with confidence and who play hard to get (Capote seems like the kinda guy who would say that). Now Arlan isn't quite sure about this, but he has nothing else to go on and is desperate.

So that's what he did, the next time he saw you he did what Capote told him. He felt so stupid, but if it was what would get you to like him then so be it. Only you saw right through his facade. You took him by the hands and asked why he was acting like someone he wasn't, and that was when the truth came out. He told you everything including the confession of his feelings.

Ever since that day you guys became closer than ever; you tell each other everything. Early in the relationship Arlan treats you kind of like he does Asta where he sees himself as someone who serves you, but you shut that down real quick and helped him understand that romantic relationships are supposed to be equal.

Asta supports you in all your endeavors. He thinks you look beautiful no matter what, but he tries his best to be more descriptive in his compliments to show he pays attention and genuinely wants to help. He buys you cute stuffed animals and accessories from the on-ship stores. He also finds your linguistic gifts fascinating and useful so he asks if you can teach him. Best of all Pepe really likes you.

For dates you guys take turns planning based on what the other person likes. Arlan likes to take you foreign films festivals they sometimes have on the station as a reward for their hard work and nice dinner dates because he's a gentleman. As for you, you know that Arlan just wants to spend time with you and nothing more, so you plan an at home date of dinner and a movie (and a bit of video games).

I know you said that you prefer tall guys, but what Arlan lacks in height he makes up for in courage and heart. He sees things through till the end cares about the well-being and safety of those around him. When the Antimatter legion attacked, even though he knew that his number one priority should have been the inhabitants of the space station he did everything in his power to protect you and make sure you were safe. You were his real top priority, even if that meant taking a hit for you (how he really injured his leg at the beginning of the game).

Hi, hope you enjoyed sorry it took so long and is a bit short the star rail characters are a bit harder to write for.

Runners Up: Dan Heng, Welt Yang, Gepard Landau

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Parental Death

For: @thatstomorrowsproblem

Death can make you remember the things that really matter, for better or for worse.

The most important thing Danny got out of dying was remembering.

Remembering that they didn’t love him.

He told his friends he didn’t tell them immediately -or at all, in the end- because he was scared of their reactions.

But that wasn’t it.

It never was really.

Instead, he didn’t speak up, didn’t spill his truth, because you don’t spill your deepest guts and traumas to a stranger. And that’s what they were, they were strangers.

Landlords, perhaps.

Calling them parents or even friends wouldn’t even make sense. Parents and friends care, look after you, support you, comfort you, provide for you, have fun with you.

It was easy enough to not notice that his ‘parents’ didn’t do that over such a long period of time. Over a lifetime of time. But when everything flashes by you in rapid succession? When you see, feel, hear, everything that’s ever happened to you in seconds instead of in years.

Then suddenly the missed birthdays, ignored injuries, destroyed possessions, non-consensual experiments, and abandonment; stopped feeling like just occasional silly lapses in judgment that all parents surely must have. Suddenly they seemed more like a conscious pattern of behaviour.

Like that was just… how they were. How they felt about him.

How little they cared about him.

And then everything else in his life he remembered seemed so minor, so insignificant. For every little happy thing, for every telescope for his birthday or rollercoaster ride, there was something else to drag it down.

That telescope got blown up. His ‘parents’ replaced everything except the telescope. Plates, the pan, even Jack’s gloves; they replaced all that because it ‘needed to be’. They had to replace the spare stool; his telescope didn’t matter though… it wasn’t useful to them.

So his… Death, that flash of his whole life before his eyes, that kept him quiet. Maybe he would have told them immediately if that hadn’t happened.

If he hadn’t acutely realised that children were just free maids, test subjects, excuses, and future FentonWorks company owners; to them.

He’s thankful his friends gave him an excuse not to tell them. If they had encouraged him to tell his ‘parents’ he’s not sure what he would have done.

Then he met Vlad. He found out what they did to him. As much as he… dislikes the man most of the time, Vlad made it even clearer how little Jack and Maddie cared about anyone.

Meaning it wasn’t just Danny.

There was nothing wrong with him and they didn’t just dislike children.

Jack and Maddie.

His parents.

Were just terrible people.

Danny wonders how the heck Vlad could still be infatuated with Maddie. Does the man know what love is? What it isn’t? Danny knows the answers simply, ‘yes, of course I do, Daniel’, and denial though.

Danny, however, wasn’t in denial. Not anymore. Not about them.

He remembered, and that was enough.

Jazz knew too. She had for so long. His stupid younger self should have realised that ‘notebook’ of hers for what it was. Evidence.

Evidence and reminders. Reminders to be careful. They don’t love you. They’ll hurt you. They’ll hurt your little brother too.

She hated that she hadn’t been able to protect him, but he was… thankful for it.

He saw reality now. And he was free too.

He could fly, fight, explore. He could leave if he wanted. Go to space or roam an entirely different realm.

Physically he was more than he could have ever hoped or dreamed to be.

And mentally? He was free in the truer sense.

What reason did he have to be tied to people that didn’t love him, didn’t care for him, didn’t even know him.

He would stay until he didn’t need the landlords anymore. And after that, he was going to destroy them and everything they stood for.

The sacrifice of children and friends in the name of science.

The ectophobia and every piece of research tied to it.

The blatant disregard of everything around that wasn’t ‘for the cause’.

His ‘parents’ were a threat to him, yes. But more than that, they were a threat to an entire realm, an entire species, the world.

He would not be blind to that.

He would not ignore that.

He would not aid that.

Danny was a protector. He would protect. He would protect everyone and himself, from those that had and would hurt them.

His death had seen too that.

Thank everything it had.

End

Prompt: It was true- your whole life flashed before your eyes when you died. Danny remembered something very important when he had his accident

[kickingitwithkirk]

Winchester's Folly

Summary: When Dean gets into trouble John decides to hide the truth for his family

Word Count: 1143

Warnings: A/B/O, subjugation, pandemic, mentions of nudity, leering, mention of collaring/leashed, rut/heat, physical altercation, murder conviction, parental dominance

*Additional warnings will be added

*Dark! Fic-don't continue if you are disturbed by the subject matter.

*Square filled: @spnabobingo -Rut Suppressant @spnaubingo -Sub!Dean @anyfandomdarkbingo - Voyeurism

A/N: Each part follows in sequence

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

*No Beta-all mistakes are mine

Part I

Five weeks ago 

Dean Winchester had been arrested.

Their dad grew tired of Sam’s constant complaining about finishing up his junior year in one place and had left his sons in this backwater town.

Several more weeks passed and it was obvious their dad wasn’t coming back anytime soon, the little money they had began to run out and when he couldn’t hustle pool anymore, Dean took a job at a local garage. 

It wasn’t long after another problem arose.

Dean ran out of rut suppressants and was stuck in one of the few states that required a prescription. He tried obtaining them through less than-legal channels but began feeling the restlessness simmering underneath his skin; it was too late.

Out of options he made sure his brother had everything required for a few days, went looking for something to sink his knot into, and found himself chatting up a Beta at the only local bar until their irate Alpha came looking for them. 

By night's end, Dean found himself with an IV in one arm and the other handcuffed to a bed in the hospital after a rut-induced fight with their Alpha.

When the local sheriff showed the ER doctor told him the Alpha was DOA and the cause of death was exsanguination from canine perforation of the carotid artery.

Sam was unable to reach their dad, and in a panic called Bobby Singer. They’d been forbidden to make contact after his sires fell out with the grumpy hunter the young Alphas' words spilled out a jumble of profuse apologies and explanations.

Bobby felt his temper flare, he’d always considered the brothers like his own kids, and hearing Dean was headed for jail and Sam in CPS custody wanted another shot at the elder Winchester with something stronger than rock salt. Reassuring Sam he’d be there by nightfall pulled out his hunters' contacts and started dialing, putting out John's last known location.

Bobby’s first stop was at CPS. He presented the faked documentation verifying he was their blood uncle then took him to the police station to find out what was happening with Dean. 

At the station Bobby flashed his law enforcement credentials to the officer in charge whose response was information would be only released when his Alpha arrived, wasn’t allowed any visitors except the public defender assigned but slipped that Dean what he was being charged with.

Unable to do anything else and unwilling to sit around the rental where the brothers were staying to wait for the Alpha, Sam had Bobby take him to the local library to research the state’s laws pertaining to his brother's case.

Two days later John rolled into town and went directly to the station where he was informed of the situation and then allowed a brief visit with his son.

John entered the interrogation room and saw Dean seated wrists and ankles shackled and tethered to the table, the reddish cast in his eyes that'd begun when Caleb found him, fully turning his irises red.

Out of all the shit he’d done over the years this proved what he always thought; Dean was a worthless fuck-up and offspring or not, he no longer wanted to deal with.

Dean suddenly found himself airborne, legs flailing, and kicked over the chair he’d been sitting in before being slammed face-first on the table, trapped, at the mercy of his sire who he knew was going to kill him. 

His final thoughts were only about one person, flashing back to the night baby Sammy was placed in his arms and his dad ordered; take your brother outside as fast as you can and don’t look back he was Dean's responsibility to protect and care for. As he lost consciousness the door burst open and three deputies drew their tasers shocking the incensed Alpha. 

Sam maneuvered around the chaos and sank to his knees next to Dean lying on the floor, gasping air between his bluish lips and a thick band of purplish discoloration around his neck felt the dark and angry thing that lived under his skin flare up, slithering through his veins felt his canines elongating releases a bloodcurdling wrawl. 

Silence filled the air except for Dean’s raspy breath as Sam slowly stood up scanning the room, unsure why everything was tinted a strange color when his eyes landed on his dad, angered that while his brother's lower status didn’t interfere with hunting, it’d never allow him to stand up to their dad.

“Son, don’t,” Bobby’s voice was absurdly loud, agitating, like nails on a chalkboard but his gaze never left John as the deputies dragged him out.

At the arraignment hearing they found out Dean was being charged with voluntary manslaughter. 

The district attorney said due to the extenuating circumstances; an Alpha on the cusp of their rut and the Betas signed a confession of intentionally seeking out another for infidelity as retribution because their Alpha recently purchased a House Omega against their wishes they were willing to accept a plea deal.

“As stipulated by state law, Alpha John Winchester will have ten days to procure an Omega for  his pack's lower-ranked Alpha, Dean Winchester, and present them in court with the proper documentation or the defendant will be reprimanded into custody to serve the mandatory five-year imprisonment.” 

The DA paused and glances towards the gallery, “the Alpha will also be required to surrender custody of Samuel Winchester, his other minor Alpha son, to be placed in a state-sanctioned home.” The defense attorney asked for a brief recess to discuss the terms when John stood up.

“Your honor, there’s no need for a recess, I accept the deal.”

Shouting and loud banging at the far end of the showroom drew the attention of several patrons then stopped just as suddenly as it started.

 “Dean, go wait by the entrance.” 

“What?” Dean disbelievingly barked and John grabbed his leather jacket collar, “don’t you take that tone with me boy,” he snarled in a low voice. “I’m having to clean up your fucking mess so your brother doesn’t end up in the system.”

 ”Yes sir,” Dean replies chastised, turning towards the warehouse's entrance with his brother naturally following hearing their dad say, “no Sam, you’re with me,” peeks back to see his brothers' cheeks flushed in embarrassment, trying to not gawk at the naked Omegas as he reluctantly falls in behind them.

Their dad had raised them to not only hunt evil but protect the innocent and this situation went against everything ingrained in them, knowing these O’s were destined for servitude or used as breeding stock and couldn’t help them. 

“Let's get down to brass tacks shall we,” the dealer gestures around. “As you can see, our stock has a diverse selection, is there a particular type you’re interested in purchasing?”

“I need one under 18.”

Part II

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx  @lyarr24  @flamencodiva  @b3autyfuldisast3r @lassie-bird @nancymcl @spnbaby-67  @leigh70

Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid

[flychansan]

Last year I tried co-writing a fic with KoboldAI, but it was a bit of a hassle so I gave up after the first one. 😅 It felt more like I was fighting against the AI instead of a collab. Then I forgot all about it until @seoulsborne123 posted this.

I'll let the result speak for itself.

My input is in bold.

Naru is being weird

>Mai tries not to fall asleep at her desk in the office in case Naru would come out and ask for tea. Naru had not come out of his room for three hours. She had been waiting, thinking he might want some company, but she didn't dare go into his room.

She is still here, sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, staring at the wall, when she hears someone knock on the door.

"Come in," she says.

Naru opens the door without saying anything.

> Mai frowned. He wouldn't knock on his own door. She wondered if Naru, her boss, was okay. His eyes were a bit glazed over.

Naru's face twists in surprise as he sees her standing there. "Oh... I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else."

He walks past her, heading towards the kitchenette. He stops suddenly and looks back at her. "I don't suppose you'd like some tea?"

Mai shakes her head. She doesn't really know what to say.

> What happened to Naru? What made him behave in this manner? It was HER job to serve tea, not his! And what's with mistaking for someone else? But what shocked her the most is that he actually said sorry.

Naru returns from the kitchenette holding two cups of tea. He places one cup on a small table next to the sofa and sits down.

"It's just that... well..."

He takes a sip of his tea and then continues, "... I've been feeling tired lately. My physical condition isn't good, and I haven't been getting enough sleep..."

> Mai blinks. It doesn't sound like he was messing around with her. She watches Naru drink his tea again and says: "So you're tired to the point of knocking on your own office door. Are you still reading academic journals? Writing a thesis? You need a break too sometimes, Naru."

Naru nods slowly. "Yes. I guess so."

He seems embarrassed by the subject matter of his research, but Mai doesn't care about it. She just wants to make sure that he's doing alright.

"You should get some rest," she says.

Naru smiles wanly. "Thanks for offering, but I'll be fine.

> Mai felt her cheeks flush. That's just strange. It almost seems as if he was possessed by someone. Naru turn his head to stare at the window, then gets up and presses his eyelids shut.  He opens his eyes again and blinks. 

"Why am I..." Naru looks at Mai again. The cold expression has returned. "Mai, what just happened? I was in my room. How did I get here?"

Mai's eyes widen. "Did something happen to you?"

Naru puts his hands on the sides of his head and rubs them. "No. No, nothing happened. I guess I just got carried away."

Mai frowns. "What do you mean?"

Naru stares at her blankly. "Nothing. It's nothing.

> "Oh come on!" Mai got up from her chair. "You knocked on your own door, offered to make tea for both us and... your personality has changed!"

Naru scowls. "That's not true."

Mai sighs. "Okay. If that's how you feel, then fine. But I think you're going through a rough time right now. So stop being so stubborn and come back to your senses. We're all worried about you."

Naru turns to look at her. "Worried about me?"

> "Yeah, even Lin said you were behaving oddly when I came in at noon."

Naru gives her a tight smile. "Lin is always full of useless advice. He thinks he knows everything."

Mai rolls her eyes. "Fine. Whatever you say."

Naru sighs. "Perhaps I have been neglecting my health. I can't deny that. But that doesn't mean I'm losing my mind."

Mai gulps.

> "I'm pretty sure you are losing your mind in some way. Shall I call Lin?"

"No!" Naru shouts. "Don't call him. Don't drag him into this."

Mai frowns. "But Naru, he's your legal guardian. And he cares about you."

Naru waves her off. "As if that matters anymore. As if anyone cares about me anymore."

Mai raises an eyebrow.

Naru stands up abruptly.

> You're not going anywhere, Mai thought. She ran over to Lin's office and knocked on his door. The tall Chinese man came out and asked what was wrong. She said, "Naru has officially lost it. He's talking nonsense and I don't know what to say to him. Please do something about it!"

Lin sighed. "Alright. I'll see what I can do."

He walked over to Naru, grabbed his shoulders and gave him a good shake.

"Lin! Stop it. I'm fine!"

> "You behaved strangely since this morning," Lin said. "I also overheard your conversation with Mai. I agree with her. Sit back down on the sofa and drink your tea."

Naru looked at him in confusion. "What's going on? Why are you treating me like this? I'm perfectly fine!"

Lin shook his head. "If you want to stay here, you'll listen to me. Now sit down."

Naru rolled his eyes and sat down.

Lin turned to Mai.

> "I believe Gene has possessed Naru," he said. Mai gasps. Naru is possessed by his dead twin brother? Why would Gene posses his brother? Lin continued to speak, "Gene is quite bad at impersonating Naru... That's why I know."

The more he spoke, the more Mai understood.

She knew that Gene had been trying to contact her.

She knew that Naru was acting strangely because of his possession.

And she knew that Naru's words were hollow.

Gene was controlling his body.

She knew that Naru wasn't himself anymore.

> "That's right," Naru's voice said. "I'm Gene. How have you been, Mai, Lin? I'm sorry for possessing Naru, by the way."

Mai stared at Naru in shock.

Naru smiled. "It's okay. I'm glad to see you."

Lin frowned. "I'm afraid you might have taken things a bit too far."

> "Well, I'll leave soon then," Gene said. "It's not fun pretending to be the Chief of Shibuya Psych Research."

"Wait!" Mai cried. "What are you saying? You've possessed Naru?!"

Naru glared at her. "Yes. I'm Gene. And I'm leaving now."

Gene closed his eyes, then opened them again.

"Ah... Mai, Lin."

Mai leaned in closely and asked, "Is it really you, Naru?"

"Are you back, Naru?" Lin said.

"Yes," Naru sighs. "Gene, that idiot."

> Mai let out a breath of relief. It seems like Naru was back to being himself.

"But I'm still not convinced that you're yourself," Lin said.

Naru nodded. "I understand. I'll try to prevent something like this happening next time."

"Next time?" Lin said. "There won't be a next time."

Both Mai and Naru look surprised.

> "Excuse me?" Mai said. "Why did you say that, Lin?"

"Because... well..." Lin hesitated. "I think Naru has been possessed by Gene for a long time."

Mai stares at the man.

"I don't understand."

> "I am merely suggesting that it's time for Gene to move on," Lin said, "In other words, it is for the best to exorcise Gene." 

Naru inclined his head. "So that's what you meant..." 

Mai frowned deeply.

> "You mean... you want to kill Naru?"

Lin nods slowly. "Yes. That is exactly what I mean."

Mai felt sick to her stomach.

Naru stood up suddenly. "I'm not going to let you do such a thing!"

Lin's face darkened. "We will do whatever we feel is necessary."

> "But that's just madness..." Mai's eyes glimmered in defiance. "Naru needs your protection! Didn't you promise his parents?"

Lin's eyes widened. "We promised them nothing. If they wanted me to protect their son, they should have made that clear when they entrusted him to me."

Mai inhaled sharply.

> "Lin, you're the one out of your mind! I can't believe this is even happening," Mai said. Her tears welled up. "This just has to be a dream. It can't be anything else. Someone, anyone, pinch me!"

Naru shook his head. "No, please don't make me go through this again."

Lin sighed. "Very well. But if you ever attempt to harm Naru again, I will kill you myself."

Mai gasped.

> "What?!" She turned to Naru. "Damn it, just pinch me! I want to wake up from this nightmare."

Naru's eyes widened.

"You'd rather die than give up?"

Mai gaped at him.

> "Why are you saying that? I don't wanna die. I want to WAKE up." She grew furious. "Did you forget how to understand Japanese?!"

Naru turned away from her. "Please stop shouting at me. I am trying to tell you that I don't want to die."

"Then why are you so stubborn about, Naru"

Mai couldn't take it anymore.

> "Fine, then I'll wake up by myself," she said, dropping herself onto the sofa and laying down on it. "Don't even think about bothering me."

Naru looked upset. "Mai..."

She didn't bother to turn around.

> Mai closed her eyes and willed herself to wake up from this nightmare.

Mai could hear voices.

"... I heard that someone knocked on her door last night."

"She must have been dreaming or some nonsense..."

> This was it. She was back in her own bed. Covered by her own back. She had returned to reality.

It was just a nightmare.

A nightmare that seemed so real.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Mai? Are you awake?"

"Huh?"

> Next to her was Masako who sat beside her. The girl smiled. 

"It seems you woke up from a terrible nightmare," Masako said. "You were screaming just now."

Mai blushed. "Oh my God..."

Masako chuckled. "Don't worry. I know what it feels like. I also had nightmares once."

"Really?"

"Yes."

> "I see," Mai said. "This one was just terrible. I was in the office and... Naru and Lin had lost their minds. I didn't know what to do."

Masako nodded. "That was a very scary dream. I'm glad you got rid of it."

Mai smiled. "Thanks, Masako-chan. I'm glad it was just a dream."

> "Would you like something to drink? You must be thirsty."

Mai raised an eyebrow. "Um... sure. What would you recommend?"

"How about some tea?"

Mai nodded. "Tea sounds great."

"Good." Masako got up from the bed.

> After Masako left, Mai began to wonder. Why was Masako even in her room?

She knew that no one was supposed to enter without permission.

The only reason that she could come up with was that Masako had been summoned.

Mai frowned.

> She reached for her phone and scrolled through her missed messages. One was from Naru.

"Hey, Mai, I'm sorry to bother you but I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the office today? I'll be waiting there. Thanks."

Mai stared at the message for a while before replying.

> She typed: "Sorry Naru, but I'm not feeling well. Maybe next week?"

Naru sent back a quick reply.

"Okay, I understand. Tell me if you change your mind."

Mai sighed.

She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried about Naru.

> Normally he didn't send such messages, but she decided to put it out of her mind. Masako returned with two cups of tea.

"Here you go."

"Thank you."

"Are you okay, Mai?"

Mai shrugged. "Just tired."

"Well, I'm going home now. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Masako."

> In the end, Mai was left alone with two cups of tea to drink.

She sipped at the hot beverage slowly.

She felt numb.

She hadn't experienced something like this since she was a child.

She felt confused.

And yet, she couldn't help but feel grateful.

Because she knew that Naru was still alive.

He wasn't possessed by Gene at all.

And that meant that he was safe.

[plotbunnsies]

Can I Save Them All

Part 3/?

Previous / next

Louis looked around the abandoned apartment, pondering.

He looked the place up and turns out it's for sale. The whole building actually is, and for a low price, which is suspicious, and Louis can’t figure out why?

Louis has been here for a month now, and there’s nothing wrong with this apartment. He’s inspected this apartment 4 times, and after seeing the building’s price, he thoroughly inspected it again, and came out blank! He’s even done a day’s worth of research in case a quirk affected the building or something, but all he came up with was that it’s on the bad side of Musutafu (Which is bullshit. No one has bothered Louis until now and there are no heroes patrolling here. If anything, this is probably the safest part of Musutafu, just a bit dirty)

So, Louis decided he wants to buy the building, and after a bit of searching, he found a job that will help him get the money needed.

It’s at a cat café. He’s very excited. He’s never come near a cat before, and he’s very curious(a lot of people call them “Backstabbing” creatures, and yet people love them? To the point of people calling them their boss? interesting)

He’s filled up an application, got accepted, and now he only needs to go to the café so they know he’s a real person and not a liar.

But before he closed his laptop, something caught his eye. A question.

A quirk question, on a forum he was browsing for any signs of a character that he knows the age of (he’s still hesitant to hack with Nezu around). Louis knows next to nothing about quirks (he really needs to research more) but

He knows biology. He knows about human, animal, and insect biology and he knows physics and chemistry and he knows too much for an eighteen-year-old (he had personas he needed to perfect)

And Louis was curious (he’s been curious) He wanted to know whether this knowledge could help him or will it be of no use. If he’s literally going to have to relearn everything. And this question seemed harmless enough. Just asking if there's a way to control a hearing-enhancing quirk (they sounded desperate) The answer won't harm anyone

So Louis wrote a "quick" reply (it was three pages long) and ran out of the door. He had an interview? To nail.

--

Louis loves cats.

They're small and agile and light to pick up and furry and meows and purrs when you scratch them just right and-

Louis loves cats.

The owner of the cat café was pleased by that (he wasn't sure about Louis’s "I'm not sure" when the application asked him about his opinion of cats) but he still needed to ask Louis some questions.

"And it says here that you've worked in a café before?" The man, with greying hair and a kind face and the softest smile ever directed at Louis, asked.

"Yes"

"..do you have a manager's number? An owner I could ask about you?"

"No, that was when I lived in Europe"

"Ah, well how about you try making a drink? This is a café, after all. You'll need more than a love for cats to work here"

And that's how Louis got his job. He made a regular cappuccino with a caramel pump and drew a cat on top (oh my lord this looks adorable!) And the owner hired me (kid you were made for this) he said, which Louis laughed off. He was very much not made for this.

So he left the café, after giving every cat a treat, and promised the owner (just call me Komi, kid!) To come to work at 6 am. And so, Louis was on his way to the apartment. 

But soon, someone started tailing him. Louis walked three blocks, took two turns and the guy was still behind him.

This caused Louis to panic (what did he do? He's only hacked once into the government database and that's only to add his identity. Nothing else! He didn't even steal that much, only going out to steal twice a week) so quietly, Louis whispered to himself. 

"Two miles" he felt more than heard a confirming beeb, and just like that all cameras within a two-mile radius were disabled. Louis took a turn into an alleyway and quickly scaled the building, and is currently standing on a fire escape, calmly waiting for his stalker to come. 

Soon, a guy entered the alleyway, looking around impatiently. He didn't call anyone upon not seeing Louis, instead kicking the wall angrily and then moving to get out of the alley.

No, Louis thought as he jumped down behind the man and held a knife to his neck.

"Why did you follow me" He asked, inching the knife ever so slowly into his neck. 

"I-I didn't, I just wanted some money, man!"

Oh

Maybe the people complaining about this place were right. Perhaps it is a dangerous place.

Louis knocked him unconscious and continued his walk home.

"Disable two miles," he said absentmindedly. This is the first time he went anywhere without knowing everything about it. Sure he's not here for a reason, he just ended up here, but he does need to research this place more.

He just needs to find a way to do it without getting anyone's attention. 

--

Well, Louis was not ready for this. (He's not been ready for a lot of things since getting here)

Fourteen people, fourteen different individuals, were in his DMs and were asking for help using their quirks. Five of them were willing to pay for his advice. 

Louis is not ready for this.

But the promise of money keeps him from deleting his account (what part of staying unnoticed did he not understand?!) so stared at his laptop. He stared for 20 seconds, then he closed the laptop, put it in his backpack, and headed to the nearest bank.

He’s gonna need an account if he’s going to work online, after all.

--

 It was four in the morning. Louis was researching how exactly touch-based quirks work when he heard something.

Footsteps. Light, quiet footsteps climb the stairs of the building to the last floor.

The floor Louis was in.

Louis got up, and crept to the front door, waiting.

The footsteps came closer, Louis took out his knife.

Knob started to move, Louis took a deep breath

The door was pushed open, and Louis lunged his knife at the intruder’s neck. Sharp brown eyes met startled blue eyes, and Louis froze.

He was holding a knife at Dabi’s neck.

He slowly lowered the knife, watching Dabi for any signs of aggression, and laughed nervously.

“Sorry, bad habit”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I knowww that Quirk analysis is what Midoryia usually do in bnha fanfics, but i also want louis to do it and it's good technically legal source of money! Louis cant go around befriending good people if he's doing very illegal things. gotta start kinda small and when you cement yourself into the friend group you start showing your more messed up side! anyway for anyone who's reading this hope you enjoy! Previous / next

[astaroth1357]

How Often They Worry about MC…

For those who don’t know, I have a little dog named Charlie and she is a large portion of my world. There's no need to be alarmed, my dog is fine, but there are days where I hold her and all I can think about is how much I worry about her health down the line… I suppose we often do that for the people we love, particularly the ones who may not last as long as we will. Take that as inspiration if you'd like.

Lucifer 

Near constantly. 

If you tracked his blood pressure on a grid, you'd see it start to continuously rise about when he decided they were worth having in his life.

Lucifer is the eldest sibling to a whole crew of brothers so he's no stranger to worry. He worried about his brothers when they were young, he worried about them after the Fall, and he still worries about them now (even if he's less open about it).

But a part of him knows that his brothers can handle their own, at least to varying degrees. The MC, though? He's far less sure…

They've proven rather resilient, but also headstrong and reckless. Neither of which are good things to be in a place this dangerous...

If Lucifer isn't careful, he can catch himself staring at a wall or window just wondering where they are and if they're doing alright… If he called them every time he had a passing worry, their inbox would be full by the end each week.

He holds himself back because he doesn't have the time to constantly protect them, but that doesn't stop him from sending a text once or twice a day. They better respond or he'll start (secretly) panicking.

Mammon

He forgets their mortality from time to time, but every time he remembers it hits like a ton of bricks…

Mammon is a pretty "in-the-moment" person. He doesn't spend a lot of time dwelling on the future, but whenever he does the thought of losing MC always comes back to him again and again.

Like. It's gotta happen eventually, right? They're human, humans die, hell they don't even live that long to start with!

The MC can always tell when Mammon's getting worried because he'll get uncharacteristically quiet and pace around or hover by them…

Every little injury or strenuous task will suddenly seem like too much to him as well. 

If they need to carry some boxes, he'll carry them all.

If they have to jog to class, he's carrying them. 

If they so much as get a papercut, he'll have a heart attack.

It's not very hard to get Mammon out of these funks - he really does want them to reassure him that they're okay - but he's never going to get fully over it…

Not until he can steal whatever top secret immortality formula Solomon must have used anyway… He'll get it off that bastard eventually.

Leviathan

Thinks about it so often he has to actively try not to just to get any peace…

He dodges his fears for MC like a protagonist dodges lasting consequences. Every time he feels one creeping up, he's always got a distraction waiting…

"Hey where's MC at? I hope they didn't fall into the riv-OH HEY CHECK OUT THIS NEW GAME!!"

"What are they doing over there…? That looks hard, what if they bre-WAIT DIDN'T MY FAVORITE VOICE ACTOR JUST RELEASE A NEW PODCAST???"

"What if the MC dies tomorrow and they leave me all alo-DEVIL FIGHT 200! YOU CAN'T BEAT DEVIL FIGHT 200, LET’S BREAK MY HIGH SCORE!!"

Cut him some slack, his psyche cannot handle the idea of losing them on top of everything else he grapples with every day.

If, on the rare occasion, he does let himself fall down that rabbit hole he becomes extra clingy and practically begs MC not to leave his room… like ever. He'd bubble wrap them if he could.

Anytime they get really hurt or really sick he refuses to leave their side even if it means he has to awkwardly sit on the floor. He just needs to be able to glance at them every so often to be sure they're alive… Still breathing?? Phew…

Satan

He worries, preps, rationalizes, then worries again…

For Satan, knowledge is power and every scrap of information he can learn about MC is more power he can use to keep them safe and healthy.

Yes, he will want their medical history. Yes, he's going to need a list of prescriptions. Family members too. And no, you do not get a choice.

He'll read up on as many things as he can - pawn medical journals off of witches and get magical alternatives from Solomon.

The cycle usually goes: 

1. He's lying awake at night because he just heard about some terrible bacteria that makes human's skin peel off or something.

2. He does all the research he can on this bacteria, its treatment options, best prevention methods, etc.

3. Gets right about to break out the rubber booties for MC to wear around, then realizes they have a very slim chance of catching said bacteria since it's only native to incredibly remote parts of Indonesia.

4. Feels instant relief that MC will probably not catch flesh-eating bacteria and can finally sleep again…

5. Hears of some other human medical horror from Solomon and starts to worry…

It's a vicious cycle indeed… But at least he's getting a lot of medical training. Soon enough he'll be the Devildom's version of a human vet (which I guess is just a doctor, come to think of it. 🤔)

Asmodeus 

Lives so "here-and-now" that he doesn't remember often, but when he does it's always heartbreaking…

Asmo usually tries to worry about things as little as possible. It’s bad for the skin, you know? But when the MC is involved, all of that goes out the window.

Like how a delicate blossom eventually wilts in the snow, the MC is bound to leave them in time… Usually there's supposed to be something beautiful in that kind of tragedy, but perhaps he's just too close to them to find any romance in it.

The thought of their death gives him breakouts and anytime they get hurt or sick he's the first brother to offer them comfort. Every time.

Because he doesn't feel like he's as physically strong as he brothers, he tries to make up for it by minding their health in other ways. Anything to keep his MC strong and beautiful as always!

If Asmo is in a worrying mood, then he may also compensate by trying to take the MC out to a party or some fun event. Why sit around worrying by himself when he could be making memories with them now, right?

Beelzebub

It comes in waves, mostly at night.

When your thoughts throughout the day are mostly, "I wish I wasn't so hungry," it doesn't afford you a lot of time to think about much else.

In a way, it's a good thing since he experiences a lot less stress. But those worries are still there and they mostly plague his dreams…

Beel doesn’t feel hungry when he's sleeping, so a lot of his fears will make themselves known overnight. An injured or dying MC is often in his rotation of nightmares though, of course, he'd rather it not be…

After having one of these dreams, his first instinct is to always make sure the MC is okay. If they're with him, he'll hug them and check their heartbeat. If they're somewhere else, he'll go to them or shoot a text.

He has woken up without realizing his nightmare was all a dream though, and usually it's up to Belphie or MC themselves to console him while he cries… It's so heartbreaking, sweet boy just puts a lot of pressure on himself to be sure they're safe…

When he worries, it's like they're the most beautiful and expensive China set in a room full of bulls and hammers. If he could tape them to his side, he probably would. He gets scared for them that much…

Belphegor 

More scared about it than anyone else in the House.

Despite his calm demeanor, Belphie is truly afraid of losing his loved ones beneath the surface… He's already lost one of his most dear siblings before, going through that again may just break him.

Unfortunately, he's also felt just how fragile the MC is firsthand... He's not even the strongest of his brothers, yet he was able to snuff them out so easily… Who's to say someone else won't try?

Like Beel, MC's death is a recurring nightmare for him but he can usually shake off his dreams fairly well, if not change them mid-sleep. More scary is when something is actually wrong with them or they're not feeling well.

Belphie always sets his inner laziness aside for the MC when he can. If they get sick, he'll usually be right along with his family to take care of them - even if he has to skip school to do so (not that he cares about class anyway).

When he's worrying about them, he tries to play it off at first, but soon enough they'll notice him acting overly concerned and losing sleep… Best to calm him down before he starts getting cranky.

[wiypt-writes]

Rawhide

Ch9. Infinity On High

Episode Summary: Your heat is over, but your bonding has left you and Steve with far more than you could have ever have imagined.

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut

Episode Pairings:  Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Reader.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

W/C: 4.8k

Rawhide Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 8

When you woke the next morning, you found yourself to be alone. Giving yourself a moment, you stretched out your tired and achy limbs before you sat up and cracked your neck from side to side.

That had been an intense forty-eight hours. Your heat had coursed through your body in a way you had never felt before, and Steve…well, he’d done everything an alpha could. He’d seen to your needs, taken care of you, helped you bathe as you reached the lull following your final climax.

Then he’d bonded with you, but only when you’d asked him to. How he had resisted the urge to do so when you’d been in the middle of your heat addled fuck fest was beyond you. You’d offered him your neck, you’d preened, you’d been simply pliant yet he hadn’t marked you that way until you’d both laid exhausted and spent in the tub after.

Your fingers traced the outline of your bond, following the raised line of flesh through its intricate loops and you blinked as you heard Steve, but not in the normal sense of the word. Like, his voice was directly inside your head.

“She’s awake.”

“Yes, Alpha, I am.”

Your mouth dropped open and you heard his feet heading back up the stairs. A moment or so later he appeared in the door, his eyes wide.

“Did…” he trailed off and you nodded, swallowing.

“Yeah…”

“Okay, this…this is weird…I heard you but…”

“I didn’t hear you.” You finished for him, taking a deep breath, “I don’t understand!”

“It has to be the bond,” Steve sat on the edge of the bed beside you, his hand rubbing his beard as he pondered for a moment, before his face softened and he reached out to gently cup your cheek. “Are you okay?”

You blinked as once again your fingers pressed to your mark.

“Shit, she’s scared…”

“No, I’m not.”

Both of you looked at one another and whilst you couldn’t see your face you were damned sure it was arranged in the same expression of surprise and confusion that Steve’s was. This was something else, you weren’t simply sensing what he was thinking, you could physically hear it in your own damned head.

“Well, this is gonna be awkward.” Steve spoke aloud a moment later, and you laughed, shaking your head.

“You mean when I can hear your inner most, darkest secrets?”

“Something like that,” his eyes flashed with humour, and then he pondered on something for a moment. “I can’t hear you now.”

“No, I can’t hear you either.”

“What were you doing when you did it the first time?”

“Nothing, I’d just woken up, I was thinking back to last night and I just, I just touched my mark and…”

Steve’s mouth fell into a little 'o' of surprise and he let go of your face. His large fingers pressed to his own mark, where you’d bonded him right back the night before and you gasped.

“Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so all we got to do then is make sure neither of us is touching our mark when we don’t want the other to hear us,” Steve rolled his eyes and you gave a splutter of a laugh as he shook his head.

“I don’t understand any of this.”

“Me neither,” Steve assured you.

“Maybe Thor can help some more.”

“Maybe,” he nodded, and then his face lit up as he had a sudden idea. “You know, Stark has a huge research facility. I know you’re good at that type of thing, you could always head over there today and see if there’s anything buried in any of the history archives.”

“What about the ranch work? I said I’d check the couple of longhorns that still have the bad feet and then there’s that one that’s looking a little skinny that we think-”

“Doll, you’re gonna be in no state to do anything too physical today, you need to give yourself time,” his hand softly brushed your hair off your face, “plus, we’ve managed without you before, we’ll be fine. I can call Banner and then you can talk to him and make sure you’re both up to speed.”

You blinked and then shrugged. “Okay.”

“But that’s only if you want to.” Steve added quickly, “if you don’t you can always stay here and-“

“Would he let me bring anything I find back here, and then I can look at it properly, in my own time?”

“Yeah, of course he would. If you ask him he’ll probably give you remote access to his servers.”

“Okay, then I’d rather do it that way.”

“Whatever you want. I’ll call him, set it up and then we can drive down there later. But first, you need to eat.”

You nodded eagerly, “I am kinda hungry.”

“Good, because I think I vastly overestimated how much bacon and eggs we might need.”

You chuckled, “looks like Commando is getting a nice breakfast treat.”

Steve smiled, kissing your head before he stood up. “Take your time.”

You watched him leave before you cracked your neck and rose from the bed. Once you’d freshened up, you dressed casually in a pair of denims and one of your customary short sleeved button downs and headed down the stairs, a little slowly as your muscles still ached. As Steve turned to face you, he caught your little grimace as you stepped off the bottom stairs and he sighed, shaking his head.

“Don’t,” you looked at him sternly, “I’m fine, just a little stiff.”

No more was said about the issue, and together you ate breakfast, Steve calling Tony as you did. After a little gleeful teasing about the pair of you finally surfacing again, he became a little more serious as Steve explained that you wanted to use his library and his research facilities. He agreed without hesitation and told you both to call in later that afternoon, and he’d have a laptop ready and waiting so you could access everything from the comfort of your own home, plus he’d arrange for you to have your own pass so that you could come and go as you pleased in and out of Stark Tower.

Despite Steve’s protests, you insisted that you wanted to at least tend to Quin, so when the pair of you had finished eating, you both made your way towards the barn as the early morning sun was burning off the last of the mist. Bucky, Sam, Clint and Peter were already milling around, preparing to separate the cows that needed treatment from the rest of the herd that would be driven back off the ranch and to the side of the hill where they would spend the next few months.

Your hand in Steve’s, you took a deep breath as Bucky turned to face you. You hadn’t seen him since his outburst a few days ago and as he turned to look at you, you flashed him a little smile.

“Hey,”

“Hi,” he replied, his hand running through his hair, “you err, you both good?”

You glanced at Steve who gave Bucky a nod, “we’re fine, Buck.”

The two men remained locked in a stare but you were pleased to find no sense of anger or animosity radiating from Steve, instead he was utterly calm. Bucky nodded, and then jerked his head towards you.

“Can I...”

“Ask her,” Steve shrugged, “she’s her own person.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and then turned to you, “can we take five? I’d like to talk to you.”

“Erm, sure.”

Steve dropped a kiss to your temple before he gave Bucky a warning look, and headed into the barn shouting at Sam and Pete to stop fooling around with the hay bales. Bucky gestured with his hand and you took his lead, falling into step beside him as he walked a little round the paddock away from the barn.

“I wanted to apologise,” he took a deep breath, “my behaviour was unacceptable and I shouldn’t have made you feel as uncomfortable as you did. A breakthrough heat isn’t anything you can prevent or manage, and I shouldn’t have blamed you as if it is.”

“It’s okay, no harm done.” You assured him. “I err, maybe I should have been more careful. I didn’t spot the signs, it was-“

“It was not your fault.” Bucky shook his head. “Breakthroughs only occur when you meet a mate, so to speak, and the chemistry basically overrules your suppressants. I doubt even your first ever heat will have been as intense as the one you just had.”

“I don’t remember it ever being as intense as it was,” you shrugged. “But then again, that all feels like a lifetime ago. In some ways, it was. I feel incredibly stupid though, I was so naive. I just thought that by chucking suppressants down my throat, it would keep it all at bay until, well, until we were ready…”

“And that probably would have worked was it not for Steve. You and him, you share an incredible bond, one that we had all noticed. And now we know why.” He gestured to the mark on your neck, and automatically your hand flew to it.

“Doll?”

“Shit, sorry, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Your hand moved away and Bucky cocked his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I mean…it’s really strange, but…well, when I touch my mark, Steve can hear me. My thoughts, and me his…I can’t explain it.”

“There’s a lot of things on this planet you can’t explain.” Bucky shrugged, “I mean, I’d heard of Soul Bonds before, but they were always just this mythical thing that apparently existed but no one had ever seen, bit like the Loch Ness Monster. But now, well, there’s one right here.”

You gave a shy, little smile as Bucky chuckled.

“The good news is, with you physically bonded, I don’t think I’ll be as susceptible to you next time. I’ve always struggled with that side of things, the control aspect. It never used to be that way. But after the war, my injuries and head trauma…” he sighed, and let out a deep breath. “Well, it changed me. I can’t shut myself off, not the way Steve, Tony and Natasha can. It’s like there’s this switch inside my head, that just flicks, and I’m powerless to turn it off.”

At that you watched as he flexed his metal arm.

“It must have been hard, coming round after so long, being on your own in the hills.” You looked at him, your empath nature in overdrive and Bucky smiled, sadly.

“I still have no idea what happened. That entire time was a complete blank until Sam bit me again and brought me round. I’ve tried to move on, and for the most I can but, well, not having the answers doesn’t sit well with me.”

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you, for any of you.” You shook your head. “I was sitting pretty in Fort Worth, it didn't even touch me from a personal point of view. Not that I’m particularly proud of that.”

“You were an omega, living in a Red State.” Bucky shook his head, “there was nothing you could have done even if you wanted to.”

“But I didn’t want to, not then. I was too comfortable. Despite me not agreeing with Hydra, it was easier just to…”

“Keep your head down and carry on, yeah I get that.” Bucky shrugged. “But we all change, Y/N. We all hit that point in our lives where we realise that we can’t keep going the way we are, hiding from the very things that make us uncomfortable. Your turning point was when you came here and you decided to stay, and look at you now. You’re strong, you’re working here in a capacity that, well frankly, is beyond useful with your veterinary skills and your ability to keep us all organised and calm…you should give yourself more credit.”

You blushed a little at his compliment, and Bucky gave you a small smile. Your conversation at a natural end, Bucky simply nodded, before he hesitated and moved to give you a quick hug. “Thank you, for being so understanding.”

“I’m an omega,” you quipped as Bucky stepped back, giving a bark of a laugh, “It’s what we do.”

Together you made your way back to the barn, the rest of the team now saddling up their horses. Commando gave a bark and ran towards you, and you paused to pet him as Steve strode over.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to touch my mark before,” you looked at him, before your eyes watched Bucky as he took a quick kiss from Sam. “We’re good.”

Steve nodded. “Okay, well I need to help the guys with this drive…”

“I wanna come.”

“Not an option.” Steve shook his head, “you need to take it easy. Don’t make me Alpha Command you.”

You rolled your eyes and he chuckled. “You can fill the hay bars if you like whilst we’re gone and then Banner should be here in about twenty. You can help him, you’ve been treating the cows for the last few months so he’ll want to know what’s what.”

“Okay.” You were slightly disgruntled, and your tone came across as a little petulant, but Steve’s eyes simply shone in amusement.

“Don’t be so moody,” he laughed, “this is only for a couple of days. Just until I know you’re rested.”

“Fine, but I’m not happy about it.”

“I don’t need you to be happy about it, just to listen to me and do as you’re told.”

“Piss off before I punch you in the face.”

At that, Steve really did laugh. His head tipped back, his hand flew to his chest as he roared. You arched your brow as he looked back at you, his right hand curling around your hip.

“I love you.” He said gently, dropping his head to kiss you, before his nose slid over your fresh mark and you shivered.

“Love you too.” You replied, mimicking his action before he smiled, and turned back to get Star ready.

*****

A few hours later you sat in Stark’s, frankly, huge library, whilst Steve was somewhere else in the building with Tony, no doubt discussing Hydra. It made you shiver really, when you thought about it. Their silence, if you will, ever since Erskine’s death was unnerving and you knew from a few conversations that you’d been party to, it was worrying the others as well.

But, for now, you didn’t want to concentrate on that. You wanted to understand as much about the bond that you and Steve shared as possible. You didn’t really know where to start, so you opted for a catalogue search for “Soul Bond” and then retrieved the corresponding books and set about reading.

You didn’t discover anything new, not really. Although you did learn with interest that the last reported signs of a Soul Bond had been a few generations back on Thor’s family tree, his father’s great-uncle, if your deductions were right. You noted this down, thinking it might be of interest to him and then snapped that book shut before you pushed it to one side and reached for the second.

You scanned the pages, found the relevant section and began to read. This one was a little challenging to decipher, as frankly it was ancient. It struck you that it was probably worth a fair packet as well, being so old. But then again, wasn’t everything Stark owned?

Your eyes and head were beginning to hurt, you’d been in there for hours. But just as you were about to call it quits, you found a paragraph that made you stop. You frowned a little, leaning towards the small, faded text. It was an extract from almost a hundred years ago, a study on an Alpha and Omega that shared a Soul Bond…

The bonding process mingles the blood and DNA of the two bonded recipients, but a Soul Bond appears to transgress the normal boundaries of a Pure Bond.  Not only do the subjects share a seeming ability to be able to talk to one another using nothing but their mind, through experimentation and study it appears the Alpha subject has an ability to empathise, feel, and read people, in the way an Omega normally can. He also seemed far more susceptible to other people’s emotions.

However, this had already been noted in this particular Alpha prior to bonding. And whilst it is unusual for Alphas to possess such sensitive traits, is not unheard of.

You rolled your eyes, this was such an old cliché, that alpha’s were hard, unable to show softer emotions. In reality, they were simply afraid to show those sides, because it was seen as a weakness. Exactly the type of bullshit Hydra promoted.

In contrast, his Omega seemingly possessed an ability to fight with stamina and force far beyond that which she had previously. She was also less susceptible to Alpha Commands, needing far less strength to refuse even those of her own Alpha. Furthermore, she also seemed to harbour the ability to shield her mind from those who were not her Alpha, something which has for many centuries been believed to be an Alpha only ability.

Okay, now that was interesting…

In conclusion, whilst the Soul Bond’s physical effects on the Alpha were inconclusive, the Omega’s enhanced abilities are seemingly attributed to the mingling of her DNA with that of her Alpha’s. This has never been observed before so, logically, one could surmise this is due to the fact the two test subjects share a tie deeper than that of a normal Pure Bond. There is no rational explanation for this, and until more Soul Bonds are observed, this remains a mere hypothesis.

You let out a loud exhale as you leaned back in your chair. Could that be true? Could you have taken some of Steve’s attributes on? You certainly felt no different, but then again, you had only been bonded since the previous night. And you hadn’t had any chance to find out. Nor would you for a few days, until Steve deemed you strong enough to resume your training.

Still, it was something to think about and bear in mind.

You shut the book, rubbed at your temples. You weren’t sure how that made you feel. Whilst comforted that the seemingly telepathic tie the pair of you both shared wasn’t something completely unheard of, you still had so many unanswered questions. But, as you turned this over in your brain you found yourself pausing to contemplate Bucky’s earlier words

“There’s a lot of things on this planet you can’t explain.”

Clearing your throat, you pulled out your phone and dialled Steve. He answered after the first ring.

“Doll? You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m done for the day, just wanted to see where you were.”

“In Stark’s office, come on up.”

“Okay, erm, I have a book here, can you ask him if it's okay if I take it? It’s quite an old one so it's probably valuable.”

There was a pause as Steve relayed your message to Tony who you heard give a loud chuckle.

“Take what you want, Y/N.” Stark replied and then you heard Steve.

“You get that?”

“Yeah, so, I’ll just come find you?”

“Take the elevator to the 5th Floor. It opens directly into his office.”

“Okay, see you in a minute.”

You gathered your things, taking care to place the book gently in your bag before you slung it over your shoulder. Grabbing your phone and jacket, you headed out of the library and to the elevator at the end of the hall. You pressed the call button, your eyes watching the numbers over the doors as they counted down from ten, stopping at seven, which was your floor.

The doors opened, to reveal two women.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” Pepper's face smiled at you.

“Hi.” You smiled back as she walked out of the elevator. “I was just on my way to meet Steve.”

You saw her eyes flick to your mark and then her brows raised. You swallowed and watched as Pepper turned her attention to your face.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” She apologised and you gave her a small smile.

“I suppose I should get used to it, huh?”

“Well, it’s certainly unusual.” Pepper looked at you, and you felt her calming aura and you relaxed a little.

The other woman, a Beta from what you could sense, shifted a little and your eyes turned to her just in time to see hers flick to your face from your neck. She gave you a smile.

“Oh, god, where are my manners?” Pepper rolled her eyes. “Y/N, this is Christine. She’s a reporter for the Stark Wood Gazette.”

“Nice to meet you,” you shook her hand politely, the calming sense a Beta normally possessed washed over you even more and you relaxed further.

“Well, we best be going. I told Tony to invite you and Steve for dinner at the weekend but he always forgets so, let me know if you fancy it.” Pepper stepped around you and you nodded.

“Sounds great, I’ll call.”

She gave you another smile, and you headed into the elevator, selecting the fifth floor. After a short ride down, the doors opened to reveal Stark’s office. It was huge, spanning the entire floor of the tower and was, basically, a self-contained apartment minus the bedroom.

Steve’s head instantly whipped round and he looked at you over the back of the couch he was sat on and gave you a smile. You responded with one of your own and took a deep breath as you then looked at Tony, and then blinked as you saw Sharon Carter sat opposite them both on another couch at the other side of the large coffee table.

“Hey,” Steve beamed as you crossed the room, the Alpha pheromones from all three of them were strong, clearly they’d been having a heated discussion.

“Hi.” You replied a little shyly as he moved to stand.

“Are we done?” He looked at Sharon and she leaned back, popping a shoulder.

“Like I say, I was only relaying what Fury said.”

“Well, tell Captain Barbosa that he’s losing his touch. He used to have eyes and ears everywhere, now he’s running blind and deaf.” Tony sniffed and Steve gave a roll of his eyes as he moved round the back of the sofa towards you.

“I get what he’s trying to do, but until we know more about Hydra’s plans, he’s just gonna send a message that we’re gearing up for another war.” He looked at Sharon.

“Look, we have strong intel that Montana is a target, I think you’d be foolish not to listen, Steve. We tried the diplomatic approach, the WCS basically told Fury to deal with it himself.”

Steve glanced at Tony, who popped a shoulder. Sharon turned her eyes to you, a brow quirking as she spotted your bond, but then Tony spoke and she quickly turned back to the conversation.

“Can’t hurt to have a patrol on the border, Cap.”

Steve chewed the inside of his lip, before he gave a conceding nod. “Fine, but that’s all it is. Tell Fury he can deploy, but only round the borders. Our focus remains the same, we need to find where their base of ops is and cut them off at the head. Otherwise it will be a bloodbath.”

“Okay.” Sharon held her hands up.

With that, Steve nodded to both of them and moved towards you, gently guiding you back to the elevator.

“What’s going on?” You asked once the doors had shut and Steve sighed.

“Fury wants to deploy Shield’s army. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to be honest, but I suppose it can’t hurt to have a little protection around the State Border.”

You bit your lip and Steve’s arm curled round your waist and he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.”

“I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, when Rumlow finds out we’re bonded, he’s gonna take that personally.” You blinked. “He already thinks he has a claim on me, it’s…”

“I’m not scared of Rumlow.” Steve shook his head.

“But if he’s taken that Serum…”

“Look,” Steve turned to you. “He’s got to get near me first. That’s not going to be an easy job. Trust me when I say this, we’re prepared.”

“Okay.” You nodded.

“But as soon as you’re stronger, I want you to pick up your training again with Nat and Sam.”

Again, you nodded, and Steve’s arm moved from round you, lacing his fingers with yours.

“You wanna get lunch on the way home?”

You blinked, momentarily stunned at how he could be so normal given what you’d been discussing literally ten seconds or so ago, but as you looked at him, he gave you a small smile. You realised that there was nothing else you could do, but carry on with life. There was no point or anything to be gained by merely sitting around, waiting for the worst to happen.

“Sure.” you nodded, and he beamed, dropping a kiss to your lips.

******

“Well, Rogers has done it. He’s bonded to her.”

Rumlow leaned back in his chair, his eyes flicking to Bryce who was lounging in the chair at the other side of his desk.

“Huh, turns out he does have a pair of balls after all.”

“And there’s more.”

“Like what?” Bryce asked.

“It’s a Soul Bond.”

At that Rumlow scoffed, “they don’t exist.”

“I can assure you they do, seen it with my own eyes.” The voice on the phone said, before continuing with a hint of amusement, “you’re never gonna be able to bond her.”

“Bullshit, when I take that serum, I’ll be far more powerful than he is. I’ll rip him limb from limb.”

“You’re not listening, a Soul Bond transgresses death…”

“Again, bullshit. I don’t believe any of that.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“Even if it is true, what does it matter?” Bryce spoke. “You don’t need to bond with her. You can still use her, and she can live her life out knowing that you killed both her mates. It’ll teach her a lesson for disgracing the family name. She should have just given in once we’d gotten rid of Shea, known her place.”

“Ah, so this is all to do with your pride.” A chuckle came from the speakerphone. “You’re both pissed that a powerless Omega gave you the slip and has continued to do so for two years.”

Bryce let out a little snarl and Rumlow mimicked him as he spoke again.

“She was mine by right. The fact she’s now bonded to Rogers, well, it’s just gonna make this all the more sweet. And I’ll make sure to tell him exactly how his precious Omega is going to be used for the rest of her life, just before I rip his throat out.”

“Whatever. So, what’s the plan then?”

“Nothing has changed. The troops are ready. We mobilise tomorrow.”

“Well, you were right about one thing. When we leaked that intel it worked, Fury is doing the same, deploying to the borders of Montana.”

“Good, whilst they’re distracted with that fight, we move in. You just stick close to them like you’re doing, you’ll be rewarded when all this is over.”

“You’re the boss. Heil Hydra.”

“Heil Hydra.”

The line went dead and Rumlow glanced at Bryce who was looking at a spot on the wall. Rumlow smirked and stood up, heading towards the wet bar at the corner of the room.

“You err, you don’t believe all that Soul Bond stuff then?” Bryce spoke and Rumlow scoffed.

“Nope.” He poured a large measure of scotch into two tumblers. “I deal in science, things we have physical proof of, not fairy tales. That’s Shield’s bag. It’s why they’re weak.” When Bryce didn’t respond, Rumlow picked up both glasses and turned to him, holding one out to the younger man. “Don’t get soft on me, Langley.”

Bryce scoffed, taking the glass. “I told you, the minute she disgraced our family she was dead to me. I don’t care what you do to her.” He tossed the scotch back in one and turned his cold eyes on Rumlow, a snarl curling his lips up at the side. “My dad died with the shame of an Omega getting one over on us. Time to teach her some manners.”

**** Chapter 10

[itsallyscorner]

Bring Me Back

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Filming “Cherry” had its ups and downs for Tom. When filming finally takes its toll on him, you’re there to instantly bring him back from the world of Cherry.

Warnings: Mentions of drug abuse, PTSD, murder. A smidge of smut.

A/n: In honor of the Cherry🍒 trailer dropping, I decided to write this!

(GIF creds: @atealiers )

Any kind of project was a blessing to Tom. He loved being an actor. He was fond of telling stories through the big screen and got a kick from portraying many different characters. Acting was something he felt passionate about, it was his craft and he was very dedicated when it came to becoming his roles. Cherry was quite different from the other movies he’s been in. It was dark and contained many subjects like drug addiction, PTSD, and crime. The world of Cherry was something Tom was not used to; it was twisted. He hasn’t been exposed to things like drugs or the events that Nico Walker had been through. Which was why he was hesitant to take on the role of Cherry.

When the Russo Brothers approached him with the idea, he was excited. He was getting the opportunity to tell another story and would explore the world of a new character. Though the more he looked into it, he realized that maybe he wasn’t up for the role. Was he really ready to dive into the dark and traumatizing life of Nico Walker? As an actor, he was willing to take the job, it would give him an opportunity to expand his career and would possibly be one of his best work. As Tom, he wasn’t sure if he could handle learning or re-enacting the events that occurred in Cherry. But Tom did like a challenge, which was why he ended up agreeing to become Cherry.

He prepared himself mentally and physically pre- production. For research, he interviewed army veterans and former drug addicts to get an idea of what it was like to be in those positions. To get the look of Cherry, he did a variety of things. For example, going on a diet and losing weight, then gaining said weight again once they had to shoot the army scenes. Another thing he did was shave off the gorgeous brown curls that adorned his head. At first you weren’t too happy with his change in hairstyle, but later on you found yourself running your hands along the short strands of hair, loving the fuzzy feeling it gave your palms.

After the interviews and hearing others’ experience, Tom felt a level of responsibility to tell the story of millions of people around the world. Not only was it telling the story of Nico, but of other army veterans who suffered from PTSD and people who’ve had drug addictions. He was fully on board now and there was no looking back. He was going to push himself to the limit and to places he’s never been before.

Filming was tough. There were scenes he had to do that were so unlike him, that felt wrong, and sometimes he just had to take a step back. They didn’t feel right, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. This was his job, if he wanted this movie to be the best that it can, he was going to commit. Thankfully, he was working with the Russos, who he’s known for a while now. He was familiar with the two and they were patient with him, giving him the time to regain himself before shooting an intense scene. The cast and crew were very understanding as well, creating a safe space for him on set. Having Harry along with him helped as well, the familiarity of his brother kept him grounded and avoided him from falling into the void of Cherry. Though he had all these supportive people around him, there was only one person who could calm him down when things got suffocating on set. The only person he wanted to be in Cleveland with him but wasn’t. You. Since you had your own life and job, you were unable to fly out to Cleveland with him. Instead you stayed at your shared home with Tessa as company. All he needed was you when he felt the affects of Cherry caging in on him. Just the sound of your comforting voice over the phone could clear his head and make him breath again.

He had his bad days on set, where he would have to take a moment and hide in his trailer for a few minutes. During those few minutes he liked to be alone as he waited for you to answer your phone. The line would ring, it’d stop, then the sound of your sweet voice would be the only thing he’d hear. Sometimes you didn’t answer the first time, but nonetheless you answered eventually. It wasn’t the same as having you with him in person, you had your responsibilities, and he understood that. He just wished that one day you’d come to Cleveland. He wanted to be in your arms, stuff his face into your neck, breath in your familiar scent, he just wanted to feel you. You were his home. His safe haven. And it was all he wanted right now.

•

Glancing at your phone, you wondered why Tom hasn’t texted you yet. Not that you were itching for him to text you, but because around this time he would be blowing up your phone telling you things that happened during filming or how his day was going. You decided that filming probably went into overtime making him busy during his break. You shrug to yourself and continue working on your laptop.

You hear the sound of Tessa’s nails clicking against the floors as she enters the office of your home. You greet her with a smile as she settles herself beside your legs.

“Is it dinner time already, Tess?” You scratch her head as you glance at the time on your screen. It was currently nine at night, a bit late for dinner, but you haven’t noticed.

“Just give me five more minutes and I’ll get us dinner. How does that sound, love?” A somewhat sound of approval emits from Tessa. You get back to work, fingers typing away as you finish off the last of your work.

You finish in four minutes, finally satisfied with your work. You let out a content sigh and turn your laptop off. When you get up you stretch and let your bones crack after being in the same position for hours. Tessa joins you, stretching out her front paws then shaking her body out. You chuckle as you lead the way to the kitchen. Taking the scoop for Tessa’s kibble, you fill her bowl up, causing the dog to look up in curiosity. Once you placed the bowl down, her tail wagged wildly as she stuffed her face into her food.

You decided on going for something simple, ramen noodles. You were too tired too cook anything and ramen noodles were the quickest thing to cook in your pantry. While you waited for the noodles to heat up you checked your phone. You went through your notifications, but there were still no texts from Tom. Though you were concerned, you assumed that they had a long shooting day, making him too busy to text. 

Hi love! I hope you’re doing well in Cleveland. I know you’re probably busy, but hopefully filming isn’t tiring you out too much. Have an amazing day! Don’t forget to drink some water from time to time and eat :) Tess and I miss you and love you so much! Talk soon xxx

You send the text with a smile. He won’t read it till he was free or done with filming, but you knew he’d see the message while you were asleep.

The microwave beeps, letting you know that your food was done. You end your night catching up on episodes of New Girl and eating soup. When you were done you did your nightly routine and settled in bed. You turn the lights off and snuggled under the warm sheets.

“Night Tessa.” You whisper to her. A huff comes out of her as she makes herself comfortable on the foot of your bed. When the both of you were settled, you slowly drifted off to sleep.

Buzz

Buzz

The harsh vibrations of your phone shook you awake. Desperate for sleep, you blindly grab your phone and turn it off. Silence fills the room again as you turn around to stuff your face into Tom’s pillow. You were slowly drifting back to sleep when your phone began to vibrate again. With a groan you stretch back and snatch for phone off the night stand. You don’t bother looking at the caller id.

“Hello?” Your voice rasps out.

“Thank God you answered.” The person on the other line said. “I know you’re busy, but how soon can you visit Cleveland?” The deep voice was belonged to Harry.

“Uh—I’m not too sure, I’ll need to check in with my boss.” You reply. When you start feeling more awake you become curious as to why Harry can be calling you. “Why? Is everything ok? How’s Tom? I haven’t heard from him all day.”

The younger Holland sighs. He takes a moment to answer your questions making you suffer in silence, wondering what could have happened to your boyfriend. “Um, they’ve been shooting some intense scenes lately. Tom’s been trying his best but everyone’s noticed that he’s been a bit different.”

You sit up in bed feeling more awake. “What do you mean by different, Haz?”

“Well he’s snapped at the Russos quite a few times. There was this one scene, that they shot multiple times, and Tom would just break down after every one. (Y/n), I’m concerned for my brother, I don’t know what else to do. He’s locked himself in his room after every shoot. A—and I don’t know. I’ve tried to tell him that he can talk to me but he wouldn’t.” Harry explained, his voice croaked. You heart felt heavy for him. Harry was always there for his older brother, so to see him feel so helpless made you feel sorry.

“Haz, calm down, you know how your brother can get. How long has this been happening?”

Harry sniffed over the phone, “About a few weeks now. It’s only started becoming worse last week and now.”

The concern you felt for Tom grew. From what he’s been texting you, filming had been going great. He appeared happy on your FaceTime calls and sounded like his usual self. But maybe he actually wasn’t.

“Harry everything’s gonna be fine, alright?” You assure him. “I’ll call my boss first thing in the morning and when I get the ‘ok’ to leave I’ll get the first flight out to Cleveland. How’s that sound?”

“It sounds good. Can you tell me if you can make it? I’ll have someone come with me to pick you up at the airport.” His voice is quiet, almost muffled.

“Yeah I will, don’t worry.”

“Ok, thank you (y/n).” A small smile forms on your lips. You rub the sleep out your eyes as you glance at your closet. “Alright Haz, I’m gonna go now. But if there’s anything else, just text me or call.”

“I know, stay safe (y/n).” You bid him goodbye and place your phone on the empty space beside your side of the bed. Tom’s side of the bed. You bite your lip in thought as you worry about your boyfriend. You knew he was doing almost everything he can to make sure the movie came out perfect. If that meant shredding himself emotionally and physically, he was going to do it. Tom was dedicated to his work, but he’s never done anything close to Cherry, making you worried about the thoughts that could possibly be going through your lover’s head.

Tessa, who’s now woken up, waddles closer to you, sensing your uneasiness. You appreciate the dog’s gesture and pull her into your side, resting your chin on her head. You were basically sleepless the whole night. Although you haven’t emailed your boss yet, you already had a suitcase packed of your clothes. Your passport and other important belongings were already in a bag, ready to leave London.

The morning had been hectic. You’ve managed to get two hours of sleep, waking up at six in the morning. Still in bed, you sent your boss an email about a family emergency and how you needed to be out of the country for at least a week. As if the gods above knew of your situation, your boss willingly let you go, no questions asked and gave you well wishes. With that out the way, you scowered the Internet for flights to Cleveland. Luck was on your side that morning because you’ve booked a flight that took off in the afternoon. With your bags packed, you drove to Nikki and Dom’s to drop off Tessa.

Now all checked in, you were at Heathrow Airport waiting to be called for your flight. You were sat at your gate, with an iced coffee and a croissant from Starbucks, texting Harry. The two of you were discussing the time you’d arrive and how he’d pick you up. When you were both in agreement, you two decided to catch up. He had been in Tom’s trailer eating his breakfast. An hour passes and you were being called to board the plane.

You settle in your seat, but your leg bounced in anticipation. After the things Harry told you, you just wanted to have your boyfriend in your arms. You knew everything was probably getting to his head, all you wanted to do was hold him and tell him that he was going to be ok. As the plane began to take off, your lack of sleep caught up on you. Throughout the whole flight, you slept soundly, the worries of Tom subsiding for the time being.

~🛬~

The plane lands in Cleveland safely. It was night when you arrived. With your bags, you looked around the airport for a familiar curly haired boy. Harry waves wildly at you before running and pulling you into a tight hug. You laugh wrapping your arms around the slender boy.

“How’s your day been, Haz?” You ruffle his hair as he rolls your suitcase to the parking lot. He shrugs, “The usual. Was on set with Tom, ran around and got things for him, nothing much happened honestly. But you’re here now, so this is the highlight of my night.”

The two of you approach a black car with a driver inside, Harry motions for him to unlock the trunk. He lifts your case in before the two of you get into the backseat.

“How was your flight?” Harry asks you. The car began to move, exiting the airport and entering the highway.

“I slept through all of it, I don’t remember a thing about the flight besides getting on and off it.” You chuckle, leaning your head back against the headrest.

Harry nudges your shoulder, “Thanks for coming out with such short notice.” You wave him off. “It’s no worries, anything for my boys.”

The car is quiet, the only sounds that could be heard is the car’s wheels against the pavement. You turn to Harry, “How was he today?”

“He was pretty good in the morning.” Harry started. “Then filming started and he would grow frustrated after a few scenes. His temper’s been short. He snapped at me during lunch, which is normal, but I just asked him if he wanted some water. He broke down after a certain scene today, I tried talking to him but he still wouldn’t open up about it.” Tom wasn’t too open about his feelings sometimes. He struggled to voice them at times making all his frustrations and feelings bottled up in his head.

Half an hour later and you guys arrive at Tom’s rented home in Atlanta. As soon as you opened the door, you felt the heavy atmosphere. It was somber and tense, the chilliness of the weather also felt inside the house. Harry gestures up the stairs, “Don’t worry, go see him. His room is the first door on the left.”

You quietly thank him and climb up the stairs. You find his door, taking a deep breath before knocking. You hear some shuffling behind the door, “Harry I’m fine! Leave me alone!” His voice was deep, a bit scratchy. You frown at the door.

“Tom?” The room falls quiet. Suddenly you hear fumbling and the sound of heavy footsteps behind the door. The door opens and you finally see him. He was dressed in a large shirt with sweatpants. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, eyes glassy, and chapped lips.

“(Y/n)? You’re here?” He asks you in disbelief. A tight lipped grin forms on your lips.

“Yeah, Har—“ You were going to explain how you got there but he immediately threw himself at you. His arms wrap tightly around your figure, his head dipped into your neck, pulling your closer into him. One of your arms go around his neck while the other rubs his back soothingly. A whimper bubbles out of him, his shoulders beginning to shake. You managed to shuffle the both of you back into his room, closing the door behind you.

“You’re ok.” You whisper into his ear, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. His grip around you never falters. Though he was much taller than you, he seemed so small at the moment. His body drowned in the shirt he wore, making him look thinner. You feel tears soaking into your shirt, making your heart clench in pain. You rest your forehead against his shoulder, holding and whispering sweet nothings into his ear until he was ready to speak.

A few minutes pass until his removes his head from your neck. You frown at his tear stained face, his eyes and cheeks red from quietly sobbing into your shoulder. Your hands cup his face, wiping the trails of tears on his cheeks. Tom leans closer to your touch, his eyes shut while his lips kiss your palm.

“I’m sorry, you’re probably tired from the flight.” He apologizes but you shake your head. You lead him to his bed and sit against the headboard. Tom follows in suit, desperately trying to get closer to you. His arms wrap around your torso, his head rests on your chest, while your legs tangle themselves together.

“I’ve had plenty of sleep on the flight, how are you?” Your lips are against his short hair from holding him so close. You nails scratch softly at his hair, calming him down.

“I don’t know if I could finish it.” He quietly admits. He shakes his head at himself.

“Why’s that, Tom?” Your boyfriend takes a deep breath as he sits up, removing himself from your touch. He sits across from you with legs crossed as he holds his head in his hands.

“I—I, it’s too much. There’s so much fucked up things he’s done. And all the things he’s seen. I just—sometimes I feel like it’s me who’s committed all of those things. When we shoot the scenes in the war and when I had to do drugs and rob banks, I felt like I lost myself—“ He cries interrupting himself to take a breath in. Compared to your fingers that ran gently through his hair, his clawed at his head. His palms rub harshly at his face, turning his skin a bright tint of red. To see Tom in such pain made you sad. You hated seeing him like this.

You gently remove his hands from scratching at his face and hold them in his lap. He stares down at your hands, clinging onto them as if his life depended on it. “I get lost in the character sometimes and I have to pull myself out of it to bring me back. But it keeps on happening over and over again. Then the Russos kept telling me to reshoot the scene more like Cherry, and I lost it and yelled at them.” You feel his tears fall to your your hands, making tears well up in your own eyes. You shuffle closer to him and kiss his forehead before pulling him into you. You stay quiet, letting him get whatever he wanted to get out.

Tom’s face is against your shoulder again. He sniffs before continuing, “It’s like everyday I find something he and I have in common. Then I think that maybe I’m turning into him. I don’t want him to be part of me. (Y/n), I don’t want to be him, I don’t want to do the things he’s done.” He sobs into your shoulder. Your heart breaks at how broken he sounded. His shoulders shook again, his back burning up with tension. A few tears made it’s way down your cheeks as you pulled his face away from you.

“Look at me.” You urged him. His jaw clenched, still looking down at his lap. He shook his head in response. “Tom, please. Look at me.” Your voice cracks. He slowly tilts his head up, your eyes connecting. He didn’t have that twinkle in his eyes, it’s like they’ve lost the light in them. Instead they were dark, like there was no life behind them. There was a mix of sadness, confusion, and even fear in his eyes.

You sadly smiled at him, cupping his face with your hands. “You’re not going to be him. You never will. You’re Tom. You are nothing close to Nico or Cherry. You are the sweetest man I have known in the world, you wouldn’t even hurt a damn fly. You’re not him. I know you aren’t. You wouldn’t do the things he’s ever done even if you were forced to. I know you Tom, I assure you, you’re nothing like him.” Tom hiccups, gripping onto your wrists.

“When this is all over and you’re done filming, we can forget about him. We won’t even mention him.” You assure him, stroking his cheeks.

“What if—,” You cut him off.

“No, there’s no what if’s. You’re going to be fine Tom. You’re surrounded by people who love you and will make you realize that you’re nothing even near him. You are the kindest man ever, you love your family, you care about your fans, and your brothers. You’re busy always taking care of everyone else, I think it’s time you take care of yourself, love.” You tell him. A small smile is on your face but it falters, “You don’t have to go through this alone, Tom.”

Tom takes a shaky breath in. “You’ll be there right?” He asks like a child making sure his mother will be there when he wakes up. “You’ll be there with me to bring me back?”

Your thumb smooths the crinkle between his brows, “I always will. I promise.” He nods and pulls you into him. You climb onto his lap and settle on his legs. He stares up at you, one of his his hands supporting your back, the other pressed against your cheek. “Thank you. I missed you so much. I’m sorry for not texting, everything’s just been so taxing mentally and physically.”

“No, don’t worry I get it.” You turn your face to press a light kiss on his palm. For the first time since you’ve seen him, Tom managed to crack a smile on his lips. He moves some strands of hair away from your face before resting his large hand on the back of your head. “I love you. I love you so much, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Tom.” You whisper against his lips. He takes that as a sign to finally crash your lips together. After months being apart, the feeling of his lips against yours felt like coming home. The kiss was desperate, like it was the air you both breathed. Tom had been longing for your touch, he craved you every second of the day, whether it be sexually or just missing you. The kiss grew rough, your teeth clashing, tongues poking and gliding against each other.

Tom lays you down on the bed, hovering over you. His hands grab and stroke at your body, trying to pull off your clothes to get close to your skin. He suddenly pulls away from your lips. “I need you. Please, I need you.” He almost begs you. Panting, you nod and push him to lay on his back. “Ok, let me take care of you, Tommy.”

He yanks his shirt off, throwing it to the side. You do the same, leaning down to meet his lips again. You kiss your way along his jaw and down to his neck. When you find that certain spot, he lets out a throaty groan, head falling back against the pillows. You run your nails along his chiseled abs and slightly roll your hips against his growing length. Tom grunts, hands instantly connecting to your ass and gripping onto your cheeks. He helps you roll your hips more, deeper with more friction against you two.

“Mm, Tom. I missed you.” You moan against his neck. You bite down and soothe the spot with your tongue after.

Tom looks down at you, lifting his hips to meet your clothes pussy. “Fucking miss you so much. You have no idea how much I’ve been dreaming of being buried in you again.” You kiss your way down his chest, but Tom stops you. His hands grab onto your leggings and slide them off.

“N-no foreplay. I need to feel you.” He stutters out, mouth agape. You nod in agreement and take his sweatpants off along with his boxers. You spit in your hand, running your hand along his dick to give it some wetness. Tom helps you lift yourself over him and guides your hips down his erected cock. You let out a combination of a sigh and moan as your walls envelop and stretch around him. Tom slightly sits up against the headboard, your tightness wrapping around him. He lets out a cry of relief, your walls around him feeding his cravings. You use his shoulders as leverage to pull yourself up but Tom stops you.

“What’s wrong?” You eye him cautiously. Tom shakes his head, “Nothing’s wrong. I just—can we stay like this for a while? I just want to feel you, please?”

“Yeah, we can do that.” You send him a reassuring smile as you settle back down on him. His hands make themselves comfortable around your waist. You maneuver your arms under his and wrap them around his back. Tom smiles at you, rubbing your back and guiding you into his chest. Before you can nuzzle your face into his neck, he presses a kiss to your temple and lets his fingers get tangled in your hair.

With his eyes closed in bliss, he whispers, “Thank you for bringing me back. I love you.”

You kiss his collarbone basking in the feeling him being so close to you. “I’ll always be here. I love you too.”

[akirakurusuimagines]

had the idea of reader getting marin karin'd and it not wearing off after leaving the metaverse so our dear boy helps her out by gently overstimulating her in front of a mirror 👉👈

I'm sorry for how long it's been taking to get this out! Hopefully the others won't take as long. Please enjoy! (minors DNI)

It only takes one mistake for everything to fall apart.

Akira believed they were sufficiently prepared to waltz right into Mementos and explore the depths that opened after the public’s response to their latest and greatest heist. He disregarded Morgana’s incessant warning that he was running low on ailment-curing items and revival items, reminding the cat that he was already planning on putting him and Makoto on the front lines this time so there was nothing to worry about.

So really, this mess was his fault. As leader, he knows he shoulders the responsibility of anything and everything that happens, even if his teammates don’t blame him.

It began to storm back in the real world as they reached the end of the current depths⁠; a painstakingly slow thirteen floors⁠ to comb through in search of treasure and experience. Everyone was nearing their physical and mental limits for the day, but at the sight of a rare challenger on their way back, they let their youthful recklessness seep through. One more, they all thought, one more to end the trip on a high note.

The high note they sought after quickly⁠ and almost comically⁠ became shrill.

The battle turned for the worst: unable to find a weakness, you and Mona were left with minimal SP, Queen had suffered an ill-timed critical attack and was knocked out cold, and Joker himself was running on fumes. Mind scattered in desperation, Joker attempted to regain some footing by attacking the particularly strong enemy with Marin Karin, hoping to charm it.

He didn’t expect that the enemy would end up reflecting it back at him.

Nor that you would take the brunt of the attack by jumping in front of him last-minute.

Joker and Mona finished the battle through sheer dumb luck, and all of the thieves expected things to return to normal. Queen stood up on shaky legs and thanked Panther for medicine, but when they turned to look at you, their hearts dropped.

Your face was flushed and eyes glassy, no different than how you were in battle. The unspoken rules of Mementos was broken⁠—somehow you didn’t come to once the fight finished.

Joker took to your side immediately, helping you up but freezing at the garbled moan that slipped past your lips the moment his hands landed on you. The others looked on with concern and fear, not understanding why this was happening, but it was obvious to everyone that they needed to leave immediately. He apologized to them and announced that he’ll be taking you home to make sure you’re safe and resting while the others research the strange divergence.

His arm wrapped loosely around your waist, keeping you steady as you mindlessly clung to him, and ushered you out of Mementos and towards the trains.

Akira felt like he was suffocating. If this is how he was feeling, he could only start to imagine what you’re suffering through right now.

He kept you hidden from view as best as he could, squished in the corner between the door, the seats, and him. Akira put you in a spare face mask he had and slid his glasses over your nose, hoping to protect your identity in case any snooping individual lingered on you two a little too long.

“Hold on just a little longer for me, okay? We’re almost there.”

He watched your knees buckle and your thighs clench together at his words and felt his mouth run dry. Akira willed himself to stay calm, to steady his heartbeat, but it wasn’t exactly an easy thing to do when you were in a state like this. Especially considering he harbored feelings for you.

“Please,” you begged. He almost didn’t hear it with how quietly you murmured it. “Akira, I… I need…”

Fuck, you were going to be the death of him.

“Yeah?” he leaned in closer, hoping to catch the rest of what you’re saying.

Your hand grabbed his thigh, tugging his leg closer to you and causing him to stumble forward, balancing with his forearm next to your head. He stared at you with wide eyes as you shifted his leg with no resistance between your thighs and sat on it, slowly and carefully grinding against it.

Akira’s head whipped around, making sure no one was watching as you shamelessly used his leg to relieve some of the pressure that Marin Karin’s charm had on you. He nearly stopped breathing when you whined right next to his ear, a sound too soft for anyone else to notice as the train screeched to another halt.

Your stop was next, but there was no way he was making it out of this without a boner. He looked back at you and swallowed hard, only able to see the way your eyes were screwed shut and eyebrows knitted with frustration and concentration, pressing yourself a little harder against the meat of his thigh.

“Need more, ‘s too hot,” you blabbered softly, hands gripping the lapel of his blazer. “want you, want you so bad⁠—”

“We⁠—we’re almost home,” Akira choked out, each passing moment more difficult than the last. He wanted to pinch himself, wondering if this was actually some wild porno dream he was having back in Leblanc, but the way you felt rutting against his thigh like this was far too real for him to deny this was reality.

“Akiraaaa...”

He nearly lost himself when he saw your teary-eyed expression, suddenly grateful for the crowded train dissuading him from bending you over the train seats and giving into temptation. Akira wanted to know every part of you: every touch that makes you keen, every kiss that makes your head spin, every position that makes you cream.

Akira almost praised the gods aloud when the announcer comments on your stop, pulling himself off of you despite your whines and taking your hand in his, squeezing it tightly as he nearly runs out of the train the second the doors behind you open.

It was quite the ordeal dragging you back home. Every moment he stopped, your hands would wander, gripping his shirt or his belt loops, sliding your hand underneath to feel the warmth of his skin. You pressed closer and closer against him, your inhibitions far-gone, leaving only your charmed mind.

He grabbed your wrist firmly when you reached for his crotch at the door to your house, sucking in a large breath and hoping you’d be able to contain yourself enough for him to open the door with your keys and lead you inside.

Akira pushed open the door and dragged you inside, kicking it closed and locking it quickly. He couldn’t help the whole-body sigh that passed through him with the relief of privacy.

You, however, took it as your cue to tackle him to the ground and relieve yourself.

“Shit, wait, hold on⁠—” Akira staggered back, gripping your hip and arm and barley catching himself. “Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t want to try to get… uh… get off on your own?”

“No no no no no⁠—!” you shook your head adamantly despite your slurred voice, the sheer panic in your voice and face surprising him. “Want you, only you, please.”

Akira pressed his lips together in a tight line and hoisted you up in his arms, silently thanking the rough training he’s been enduring with Ryuji. The way your eyes lit up as he carried you to your bedroom made his heart palpitate, the rational side of him quickly losing to the promise of passion.

He really was weak to you.

He grunted as his legs hit the bed, falling down with you on his lap. Akira barely had time to speak before your lips were all over him, kissing all over his face and jaw as you roughly grinded against him. He choked down his moans and tangled a hand in your hair, hoping to slow you down with a sharp tug to your scalp.

Akira felt you seize up the moment he did, nails digging into his shoulders despite the layers of clothing, pressing your hips harder against his, and with a loud cry, he felt dampness against his crotch. It took a moment to process that you came untouched, just from him having you in his lap and tugging your hair.

“Did you just…?” his hand wandered towards your pants, slipping inside your underwear and feeling the sticky substance coat his fingers as he reached your thighs. He pulled them out, observing the strands between his fingers and licking them clean with a low groan. “That’s so hot. You’re so fucking hot.”

Akira palmed your crotch and felt you shudder as you rolled your hips against his again. “But… it isn’t enough, right?”

“Nnno…”

He looked around the room briefly and caught his own eyes in the floor-length mirror in your room.

“Stand up for me and strip, sweetheart,” Akira instructed with a gentle slap to your thigh.

He loved the way you scrambled off of him, shedding your clothes and looking at him with the same hazy doe-eyes that made him spend countless private hours fantasizing about. You looked at him with so much lust, being so obedient for him in hopes of getting another orgasm.

He shrugged off his blazer and tossed it aside, shifting closer to the mirror until it stood in front of him. “Turn around and sit back on my lap.”

Akira steadied you with gentle hands on your hips as you sat on his lap and pressed your sticky thighs together to feel some kind of friction against the torturous heat. He pried them open, spreading your legs to straddle him and spreading you open for the mirror.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he gently chided, “keep these pretty thighs open for me, okay?”

Akira refused to touch you until you nodded.

“Perfect,” he whispered, resting his chin on your shoulder, “you’re absolutely perfect.” Akira guided his hands up from your thighs to your chest, brushing against your nipples and continuing his path up until he reached your face. He cupped your cheeks in his hands and tilted your face up, forcing you to look at the shameful display you created with him. “I want you to look at yourself as I touch you,” Akira explained, “I want you to see everything.”

You nodded dumbly, anything to get his hands back to pleasuring you. “Please,” you continued to repeat with breathless whines, “I want more, I want you in me.” You pushed your ass harder against his hard cock, hoping he would take the bait. You wanted to be fucked silly and at this point you really didn’t care how you got there.

Akira sucked in a sharp breath and shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut and stilling for a few seconds as you continued to grind yourself on his dick. “Later, okay?” his voice wavered and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his own word with how enthusiastic you seemed about riding him.

He let go of your face and skimmed your inner thighs, catching the cum from your first orgasm on his fingers and finally touching you properly. You keened, head falling back as he slowly pressed two fingers into your hole. “Yes⁠!” you groaned, spreading your thighs a little further and bucking your hips into his hand, “More, please, oh god it feels so good⁠— hnn!”

Akira’s hand steadied your head, once again pushing you to look at yourself as his fingers thrusted in and out of you. “Come on, baby. Don’t stop watching,” he purred as he scissored his fingers inside of you. “Oh, you liked that?”

You grasped his hair and his wrist, incoherent noises fumbling from your lips as Akira brought you to another orgasm within minutes. Marin Karin had quite the effect on you: keeping your stamina high and your libido higher, giving you more orgasms than you’ve had in your life, emptying your head and leaving nothing but pleasant buzzing.

He stared at you in the mirror, catching your unfocused gaze as your eyes shifted from his face to his hand and back again. “You’re doing so good,” Akira mumbled strings of words he barely paid attention to as you squirmed in his hold. He added another finger, stretching you out further and curling his fingers inside of you. He felt your legs shake and watched your jaw go slack as pleasure only continued to build.

“Again?” he asked, groaning at how you clench around his fingers, barely giving him room to move them. Even still, you continue to thrust your hips into his hands⁠, unsatisfied. “I’ll give you as many orgasms as you need,” Akira promised, kissing your cheek and resting his temple against yours, “I won’t stop until you’re begging.”

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You Aren’t Somebody? (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 2647

Summary: Bucky knows that the reader has struggled with an eating disorder before, but thought they were doing better. Little does he know, they had just gotten better at hiding it. Until one night, he catches her doing something she had promised she had stopped

Warnings: eating disorder, purging, angst, fluff

Tags @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @thatfangirl42 @buckfics @barnesplums @mardema @stucky-on-spiderman @thundering-barnes

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s finals week and I am running on energy drinks, reading fanfiction, and longgggg hot showers. But the semester is almost over, and then I have no obligations aside from my hobbies. I see the requests and I’m working on them I promise! I have a list of all the requests that I get, and I am working through them I PROMISE!!! Thank you all for all of your support.

A/N 2: This deals with heavy and dark themes of mental illness. The specific warnings are above. If you feel that in any way reading this will be harmful to your mental health and your journey, PLEASE skip it. I write from my own experience and I know what I would’ve wanted to hear in these situations, and writing/reading fics helps me feel comforted. This fic is based on one experience more specifically than most of my fics, so I apologize if it’s not exactly the same as your experience. This is what I would’ve wanted to hear. If you need or want someone to talk to, vent to, or get advice from, feel free to message me, really. I’m here! <3

------------------------------

Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky.”

He looked you up and down. Your hair was in a messy bun, a few loose strands sticking to your tear stained cheeks. Your eyes were puffy, and your face was red, voice raspy. He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

“You promised.”

You closed your eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you had promised. But that was because you never thought you’d see the day when you were purging again. You thought you had gotten over it. You really thought that this time you wouldn’t slip up.

------------------

You had been struggling with an eating disorder for a while. The cause, you weren’t quite sure. An innocent diet soon turned into a competition for yourself, but the end goal was never there. At first you had thought it was just about the weight and how you looked, but then you found that some of your behavior patterns were tied to your emotional ones. 

Stress was the major trigger, you had come to learn.

Whether it was a mission gone wrong, you getting injured, someone else getting injured, or even just basic social interactions you thought could’ve gone better, you found yourself inclined to comfort yourself with food. 

Until you panicked, which would lead you to the bathroom with music blaring and water running to cover up the noises of your retching. 

You hated it, and every time you told yourself it was the last time. But the more you did it, the more you felt the urge to do it. At first it was triggered by large stressors, but now smaller things could trigger you to want to throw up. You tried to keep it hidden, unaware of the true reasons for why you did it. You were able to help yourself sometimes, it wasn’t worth bringing anyone else into. 

You couldn’t explain it to yourself, so how were you supposed to explain it to anybody?

The best way that you had figured out how to describe it was that whenever you felt a negative emotion, you could soothe it in a physical way with food, especially with all the warm comfort foods that are known. But at the same time, that feeling lasted as long as you could taste, and you would feel guilty as you felt full. When you threw up, it felt like you were also throwing up the negative emotions. 

But when you said it out loud, it didn’t make sense. When people are sick and throwing up it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. Inducing it hurts sometimes, but it’s almost not as bad. Like you know it’s coming, and you’re in control of what’s happening and you could stop at any point. And there had been times where you could soothe yourself in other ways, and you knew your own physical limits. You knew when you had to stop for your own health.

Until you couldn’t stop.

Which is what led to you fainting on a mission after purging too much. Your electrolytes had bottomed out and you almost had a heart attack at an age no one should. Bucky, your boyfriend who was on the mission with you, had put it together when the first words out of your mouth upon gaining consciousness were “Is this a glucose drip?” while tugging at the IV.

He hadn’t been mad, not exactly. He wasn’t mad at you but he was furious with himself for not noticing, and for making you feel as though you couldn’t tell him. You assured him that you did trust him, but he wished you had come to him before you could’ve gotten yourself, and those on the mission, seriously hurt or killed. 

Nonetheless, you still didn’t know how to talk about it.

“Can you try to tell me about it?” he asked gently, running a hand through your hair. He held you to his chest, you unable to meet his eyes.

“It won’t make any sense,” you had said, tears glazing your eyes.

“I want to understand. Can you help me understand?”

You paused for a moment. “It’s a long story and I don’t know where to start. There’s so much going wrong.” you had said, tears beginning to streak down your face.

“I have all the time for you. And it doesn’t have to make sense, these things rarely do. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here to listen.”

And true to his word, he had. He had listened and held you while you tried to talk about what you could. He didn’t understand everything, he naturally had a ton of questions, but they weren’t for that moment. He had promised to help you the best that he could, and you had promised to try and tell him whenever you felt the urges get too strong. And if you couldn’t, to tell him after.

It was easier to talk to Bucky than anyone else. Not because he was your boyfriend, but because he seemed to understand you more than anyone else could. He had his own share of mental health struggles. Neither of you knew exactly what the other was going through, but you both understood that it was easy to feel alone and guilty even though you couldn’t control it. 

It was rough, but he was never mad. He was sometimes firm, and sometimes you had gotten angry with him. Only to later apologize to him with tears in your eyes. He was never mad with you. He understood that this was something internal. Upon research he had done and conversations he had had with Bruce, he understood that this had nothing to do with him. Some people thought eating disorders were about getting attention when it was one of the furthest things from the truth.

All he could do was love you and be there for you.

And to your surprise, talking about it did help.it took a long time, months, of long and hard conversations, panic attacks, slip ups, and really dark days. But it got to the point where Bucky felt that you were doing better, making an effort to tell you how proud he was and how much he loved you. 

And you were doing better, in a way. But you had been slipping up more recently, and you hadn’t told Bucky. You didn’t know how. After going the longest you’d ever had between slip ups, you found yourself retching over the toilet. You would have gone to Bucky but he had been away on a mission that was extended a few days. You couldn’t interrupt him because your feelings were too much to handle. People needed his help more than you did.

You were going to tell him, but he had been so tired when he had come back. He needed his time to relax, and it wasn’t the right time to tell him. And the next day when he was rested, you felt that it was irrelevant. Any negative feeling you had felt the day before had since past, and you didn’t see the point in bringing it up today. It would worry Bucky, he wouldn’t want to go on missions, and you weren’t going to do that to him. Besides, it was just one time.

Right?

You soon found yourself purging when Bucky wasn’t around. If he had gone out with Steve, if he was on a mission, or if he was down in the gym you found yourself taking more opportunities to give into your urges. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been, but you were spiraling. But at this point you had been slipping up so many times, you had been so secretive about it. 

It would kill Bucky inside to know that you were hiding this from him again. He would feel like you didn’t trust him. You trusted him with your life.

You just didn’t want to let him down. Not again, not when he had explicitly told you to come to him and you had been blatantly ignoring that.

You wanted to tell him, you did. But you couldn’t let him being so proud of you be based on a lie.

One day you were hunched over the toilet, legs sahking and tears streaming down your face from exertion. Bucky was away on a mission, so you didn’t even bother with the music or the water. What you hadn’t anticipated was him coming back hours earlier than he should’ve

The mission had gone much more smoothly than anticipated, which everyone was happy about. Bucky was glad he would get a few more hours with you. He had gone up to your shared room and let himself in, surprised to see you weren’t there. But then he heard you coughing from behind a closed bathroom door.

He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. You had been doing so well, what had happened?

He walked over to the door, knocking on it and calling out your name. He heard you muffle a small fuck before he knocked again.

“Y/n please, let me in.”

He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on, you on the other side washing your face. You could feel the tears from exertion be replaced by ones of shame and embarrassment, biting your lip slightly. What the fuck were you going to tell him? 

When you finally turned off the water, you rubbed your face with a towel, sighing heavily into it. When you took it away, you looked long and hard at the doorknob. 

Bucky sighed on the other side of the door. “Y/n please. I’m not mad. We’ve been here before, I just wanna talk to you.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a breath before you made your expression nuetral and opened the door. 

Bucky’s eyes immediately saddened when he took you in. your face was still red and there were tears in your eyes. You had tried to put up a front, he could tell that too. Sometimes you got angry with him because you didn’t want to be vulnerable. He was prepared because like he said - he’d helped you before.

Before he could say anything you crossed your arms. “You’re home early,” you said coldly.

“Y/n.” 

“How’d the mission go? Well, I assume.” you tried to slip past Bucky but he was blocking the door. 

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, the mission went well.” He wanted to be gentle with you. “But how are you?”

You shrugged, trying to appear oblivious. “I’m fine,” voice wavering slightly as you looked away.

“Y/n please. You’re not fine. Can you tell me what happened?”

“The same thing that always happens” you said bitterly. “Something stupid comes up, I start feeling like shit about myself and I ignore it until I’m puking it up with everything else, alright? It’s the same story, different time, and now I have you looking at me all hurt just like I was worried about which is why I couldn’t tell you!” you exclaimed, eyes filled with anger and tears. Bucky looked at you as if you had just punched him in the face. He would’ve much preferred that you had.

“Y/n.”

You shook your head, trying to get through the door that he was blocking. “Bucky, just let me through the door, forget it.”

“Y/n just talk to me please, I -”

“JUST LET ME THROUGH THE GODDAMN DOOR.” You yelled, surprising Bucky. It had been a while since you had gotten this angry or defensive. But he stood his ground. Bucky was standing in front of you, blocking the door. His piercing blue eyes were locked on you, your own refusing to meet his. 

He wanted answers that you were not ready to give.

“Y/n, please. I just want to talk about this”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Bucky,” you said, feeling tears threatening to spill over. 

He took a deep breath. “You told me you would tell me if it was getting bad again.”

You closed your eyes and felt a pang in your stomach. “Bucky, I - “

“You promised,” he said, voice cracking.

You shook your head. “Why do I have to talk about this. It’s not like I’m hurting anybody” 

“You’re hurting yourself, y/n.” he said calmly.

You shook your head and narrowed your eyes slightly, tears falling. “That’s different Bucky, you know it is.”

“You aren’t somebody?”

You looked at him for a moment before a sob escaped your body, leaning on the counter for support as you brought a hand to your mouth. Bucky quickly came up behind you and pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you. You started crying harder, embarrassed and ashamed. 

“I’m sorry Bucky, I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t know how to tell you, I -”

“Hey it’s okay, it’s alright y/n, I’m here.” Bucky kept whispering reassurances in your ears, rubbing a hand up and down your back. 

After some time passed, you didn’t know how long, you were able to calm down enough to take some shaky breaths, hiding your red face in Bucky’s chest.

“When did this start happening again?” he asked softly

“I don’t know… few weeks at least, not really sure.”

He took a breath, trying to stay calm. A few weeks and he hadn’t suspected anything, and you were alone. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were on a mission, I couldn’t interrupt that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when I got back?” he pressed gently.

“You were so tired Bucky - ”

“Y/n.” he said more firmly.

You paused for a moment, knowing he wouldn’t take those answers. If they were truly the reason then you would’ve told him the next day or the day after, as soon as the opportunity came. There was more to why you waited, and Bucky knew that. 

“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” you whispered. 

You heard Bucky sigh. He was angry with himself, for not being approachable to you. All he wanted was to make you feel safe enough to come to him, and to hear that you hadn’t because you thought he had expectations for you crushed him. “Y/n, I told you you could tell me about this. When have I ever been disappointed or angry with you?”

“You haven’t. You were just so proud and I - I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to tell you that you were proud of a lie.”

“Hey, hey look at me.” Hesitantly you looked up to meet his eyes. “None of this was you lying. You put in the hard work day after day, and I told you I was here to support you. But I never did the work for you. You did that. I’m proud of you and I always will be because you’re a fighter. It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to slip up. It’s okay to need a little help too, and that’s what I’m here for. A slip up doesn’t erase all the hard work you’ve put in before. I’m proud of you for the progress you’ve made, and of the work you put in. This doesn’t change anything sweetheart.”

He pulled you back into his chest.

“I’ll always be proud of you.”

[ddarker-dreams]

Epiphany. Yan Albedo x Reader

Warnings: General yandere themes, implied unhappy previous relationship, and spoilers for Albedo’s story. Word count: 2k.

It wasn’t fair. 

A snowstorm, unlike anything you’ve ever seen rages outside, shards of lustrous ice falling from the sky with the intent to kill. The Dragonspine’s traditionally somber ambiance contorts into something far more sinister. Numerous hues of grays and dark blues blur together, obscuring your view of the mountainous region. It’s difficult to see anything outside Albedo’s workshop save for the storm. 

“Your shaking won’t stop unless you sit by the fire.” 

His matter-of-fact declaration startles you. Albedo hadn’t spoken in some time, his attention devoted to a specimen he had discovered prior to the storm. You would’ve shared in his enthusiasm if not for the overall situation and company. Sighing reluctantly, you stand from your spot, hugging yourself to stave off the biting cold. It’s impossible to settle on which is worse: staring at the blizzard or staring at him. 

Albedo’s fair skin glows from the light of the crackling fire, sandy blonde hair tousled around his face without care. As he studies the new specimen, his lips purse, eyes focusing on nothing but the work before him, like nothing else mattered. This is how you’ve always known him to be. Even if the world was falling apart around him, Albedo would never falter from what catches his interest until he felt sated. 

Sensing how you’re fixating on him, his attention flickers briefly to you, an unidentifiable emotion gleaming in his eyes. You’re the one to avert your gaze first. Sucrose is going to owe you majorly for this one, why did you even accept her request in the first place? Thinking about it now and cursing your past self does nothing yet you still occupy the time by doing just that. She had come to you panicked, pleading that you take this letter to Albedo in the Dragonspine, claiming it’s urgent. In the heat of the moment, your judgment lapsed and you caved. She spoke of needing to continue her research in Mondstadt or else she would’ve done it herself.

Look where your goodwill has gotten you now, you think. She owes me a week’s worth of dinner. 

You lament giving credence to his advice, but your stubbornness concedes, the cold too miserable to withstand any longer. The fire is right by his side to add insult to injury. Did he do that on purpose to spite you? It’s unlikely, yet your mind wanders to the worst-case scenario. If any other citizen of Mondstadt were privy to your suspicious thoughts, they’d think you unreasonable, as Albedo has established his reputation well. He’s a known eccentric, sure, but a genius one. A few quirks on his behalf that anyone else could overlook. 

Quirks that you used to overlook yourself.

“Would you please grab my bag,” he doesn’t look away from his prized sample but motions to the general area it’s in. “I need to write down my observations.” 

You follow through with what he asks. There was a time you’d have been over the moon to participate in his process, you used to practically trip over yourself to do anything he needed. That enthusiasm has long died off and been replaced by apathy. It’s when he reaches out to take the bag from you that you snap from your trance-like reverie. Whatever remnants of obedience that lingered in your subconscious are brushed away, as you decide to finally challenge him.

Inhaling sharply, you hold the bag just out of his reach, finally earning his recognition for more than a millisecond. 

“I’m not your assistant anymore.” Among other things, you think. 

The words come out more childish than you intended. What you had meant to communicate was your new, critical view on him — he’s a person just the same as anyone else — who held no authority over you. You hold your breath awaiting his response. Albedo doesn’t have an intimidating presence, not in the traditional sense. It’s his mind that you’re wary of. There’s no guessing what sentiments run through his head, yet that’s never stopped you from trying to unravel the mystery that is his thought process.

He gives you a long, hard stare. “I’m aware of that.” 

Where were you going with this again? Albedo doesn’t need to point out your needlessly spiteful behavior with words, his mildly irate facial expression says it just fine. His thin eyebrows threaten to furrow together and the corners of his lips curl down into a frown. You’re unsure of what bothers him more. What you pointed out, or that his work is being interrupted for even the slightest moment. 

The budding confidence you had is all but crushed beneath the weight of his unblinking gaze. Clearing your throat, you decide to take a new approach, straightening your posture in an attempt to be taken more seriously.

“Then tell me, why do you still act like I am?” Your question comes from a genuine place of confusion. Ever since your arrival, you’ve begrudgingly done the odds and ends he’s asked of you, almost like clockwork. You had fallen back into the rhythm that was your life up until a month ago. There was just something about the silent authority he carries that makes it impossible to say no. 

That is, until now. You’re determined to clear up the problems that have plagued your mind. Albedo’s had his time to be nonchalant like nothing happened between you two, but you’re not having it anymore. 

“Force of habit,” he nods his head towards your hand that holds his possessions captive. “Now, would you please…?” 

Your grip tightens and you shake your head defiantly. “No. Or at least, not until you give me a better explanation. Not just about that. How you act in general… none of it makes sense to me.” 

It wouldn’t take much effort from his half to wrangle his bag from you, you’ve seen him in action before after all, so it comes as a surprise when he instead gives in. You blink, gaping when he takes a seat by the roaring fire, and motions for you to do the same. An opportunity like this is hard to come by. The past few weeks, it’s been your code of conduct to avoid any interaction with Albedo, but your frustration can no longer be repressed. 

You take a seat by his side but intentionally leave some distance. 

There’s so much you want to say. Insults, questions, demands, anything. Anything that could give just a hint of closure that he refused to offer himself. It doesn’t help that this familiar area brings memories with it — good and bad alike — painful nostalgia eating away at your heart from the inside out. While you battle with your inner thoughts, he observes you in silence. For a time you hear nothing but the crackling of the fire and wind howling outside.

Finding the courage to speak up, your throat tightens as you force a question out. “Did I… mean so little to you?” 

It’s rare that Albedo ever looks taken aback, but your inquiry managed to do just that. His eyes widen ever so slightly, confusion etching onto his face before he manages to compose himself. Lots of intimate discussions had gone this way. You’d spend hours prepping yourself, meticulously going over what it was you wanted to say, only for the words to die on your tongue when you saw him. 

“I don’t understand what you mean.” He appears genuinely perplexed and you can’t help but feel silly. It may have served you better to think long about this, you realize, but now it’s too late. You rush to explain yourself in hopes of making better sense. 

“When I said I wanted to, er, part ways,” you can’t help but cringe at not knowing the proper label for ending whatever was going on between you two, “You just seemed, I don’t know, indifferent…?” 

In your head, this went down in such a different way. 

Your cheeks are set ablaze by the humiliation his silence brings. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this exact way when bringing up your feelings to Albedo, yet it’s just as awful. Archons, does he always have to look at you like you have three heads? 

When he finally gives you an answer, you wish you had never asked. 

“I knew you would come back to me eventually.” 

Now it’s your turn to give him an incredulous look. He says it without an ounce of hesitation, never once breaking eye contact, his resolve holding firm. Sensing a need to clarify, he attempts to do just that. 

“I considered a variety of variables,” he raises his hand and brushes his knuckles over your face, the unexpected tenderness making you shiver. “I know how your mind works very well. When you told me that’s what you wanted, your physical mannerisms didn’t line up with what you were saying.”

Your heart drops but he doesn’t stop there. 

“Biological responses never lie. It wasn’t anxiety that kept you from looking me in the eye then, it was reasonable doubt. You know it as well as I do. There’s something about me that you can’t place, and the natural human response to the unknown is caution.”

He stops caressing your cheek. “So, tell me [First], and maybe then you’ll reach the conclusion you’ve been searching for. Why are you afraid of me?”

Everything feels wrong. How he’s whispering such horrifying ideas into your mind, leading the conversation with expertise. Is it charisma? You don’t think that’s the proper word. No, it’s how damn certain he is, how he never once leaves room for argument. 

Albedo appraises your silence coldly. 

“See? You’re not sure yourself. Thus why I knew you’d return to me,” he retracts his hand and leans back, but the ghost of his touch leaves your face tingling. “When you don’t understand something, you study it. That’s who you are. It’s why I picked you to be my assistant, that quality of exhausting curiosity, much like the one I have myself.”

He’s hypnotizing you with his words, his even tone, his silent authority. You’re drawn in like a moth to a flame and trapped in a verbal standoff. Whether it was a result of your Vision flickering subconsciously resulting in the fire diminishing or some other cause, you realize what little warmth in the cave is disappearing, your breath materializing in front of you as a result. 

But it’s only yours. 

That’s when it clicks deep inside the recesses of your mind. Apart of what always bothered you about Albedo was this sense of uncanniness. Whenever you thought you were understanding him better, new mysteries would arise, leaving you worse off than when you started. This combined with his workload and the emotional distance you felt between the two of you is what led to your separation. 

Albedo’s face is but a few inches away from yours. He’s patiently awaiting a response or anything you could muster to challenge him with, though both of you are aware that no such thing exists. 

You manage to surprise him again by asking another question. “Why… why are you not breathing?”

And how could you never have noticed until now?

His long eyelashes flutter shut. “Relationships truly are troublesome. There are unspoken rules and expectations, both of which take effort to satisfy. I hadn’t mind trying to do so to keep you happy, but that approach didn’t work as intended.” 

Had it not been for the hammering of your heart and how lighthearted you feel, you’d challenge him on his definition of trying. Instead, you watch without so much as moving an inch, too in awe to utter a single word. 

“You always asked me to be more romantic, but I guess the phrase you take my breath away won’t suffice here,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll tell you, but once you know… well, I don’t think I can ever let you leave my side.”

“I hope you won’t mind keeping me company a bit longer than you intended to.” 

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

[thorns-are-simps]

hi thank you for responding to my post <3. I don't typically leave requests so sorry if this is a bit awkward lol. can you write some comfort for a really dysphoric reader. like doesn't want to leave their room levels of dysphoric. preferably with he/him pronouns. again thank you!!

YES! Okay good you found the blog- can’t leave their room levels I got you that was the prompt I needed!

Mystic Messenger Characters Comforting a Gender Dysphoric Reader Part 1

For clarification: he/him pronouns for reader! The reader is a trans man.

Yoosung

That’s okay he can set up his games in your room.

He knows what gender dysphoria is, he went through a gender questioning phase at one point, so he’ll try to take your mind off of it.

He sets up a game with a customizable MC and tells you to make the avatar with him.

He tries to distract you as best he can, using games and food to keep your attention on anything else.

He repeatedly tells you he loves you throughout the day, forgetting about any college work he needed to do in favor of cuddling up with you in your bed and having fun.

He’ll hold you in his lap if you want, giving you his hoodie.

He’ll always offer up anything in his closet and drawers for you to wear if your want to.

He’ll talk to you about different trans characters he knows of in games and their backstories to show you some representation.

He tries to comfort you through showing you aren’t alone.

Your phone pinged, the sound of your phone’s text tone going off. You didn’t want to go out today, you wanted to stay in your room where no one would misgender you. But alas, your boyfriend was spam texting about a new game he’d just gotten. You hesitated in allowing Yoosung to come over, knowing he would probably not msg ended you but still not wanting him to see you. Something you’d always adore about him though was that he loved to be around you and could be persistent when he chose to be.

“MC I brought the game! You’re gonna love it! We can make the coolest hero ever and they’re gonna be great. Not as great as you but nobody is. We can even make them look like you if you want! You’re so handsome you know that? You in armor as a shinning knight… you’re already gorgeous, I didn’t know the image could get better. I’m getting flustered and red aren’t I?” He was. “Sorry, you’re just so handsome. Oh did I tell you about the trans LOLOL character they just released? He’s so cool you’re gonna love him! I brought some snacks too, you can snuggle up in my lap while we play if you want!”

Zen

You have what?

Gender dysphoria?

Your gonna have to explain it to him. If you’re don’t want to or can’t just ask him to look it up and he will.

As soon as he understands what it is at least a little he’ll directly ask you what he can do to help.

If you’re to the point you can’t leave your bed then he’ll simply get into bed with you.

He’ll hold you close, his arm around your hips and whisper to you all the things he loves about his boyfriend.

He’ll tell you about his handsome boyfriend who is gorgeous and drives him crazy just by existing.

He’ll tell you about his boyfriend who is so strong and so brave and he is so proud of you. You make his day so much brighter.

Zen comforts you in words.

He tell you you’re handsome and looks you in the eyes to tell you…

Zen was worried. He had just come home from work, having to leave soon after you both woke up and barely having time to really spend the morning with you. When he got him he usually shouted out that he was back, hoping his amazing boyfriend would hear him and call back. However that didn’t happen today. Today all he received was silence. He looked around the apartment, not finding his love until he finally checked the bedroom, seeing you curled up under the blanket and not in a good mood.

“What’s wrong babe?” He came over to try and console you for whatever you were going through but when you told him, he almost felt helpless. He’d never had to experience this before and didn’t know how to handle it. All he knew to do was to comfort you how he normally would. He slipped into bed with you and pulled you close to his chest, his arm around your hip and hand on your back. As he rest his head close to your’s he spoke in the softest tone he could, trying to be gentle. “You know how I’m so handsome right?” As much as you loved to stroke his ego, now wasn’t the time. “Believe it or not, I have a boyfriend who is even more handsome than me. I swear he could get me to do whatever he asked with one look into his eyes. I’m not sure if he knows exactly what he does to me. Every time I see him I have to hold myself back from pulling him in for a kiss. His lips aren’t always the softest but that just one more thing that makes him so… him. He’s real and he’s stronger than he gives himself credit for. He thinks sometimes that I won’t like his body after he fully transitions but… the truth is he could of come to me in any form. And his heart is what would of pulled me in. The way my prince loves me for me is why I’m here. He gets this thing called gender dysphoria which must really suck, but my prince is strong. I know he’ll make it through. And if he needs someone to lean on, he knows his faithful knight is always here to hold him up. I love you baby, and I know that my love can’t solve everything, but you know what it can do? Tell you that you’re the most handsome being on this planet. “

Jumin

You’ll have to explain it to him. If you don’t want to them he looks it up himself, feeling that whatever is making you so upset to the point of not leaving your room is very much too important to task to someone else to research.

He, unfortunately, can’t cancel his work day and makes you aware of this with a kiss to the head and a promise to be back as soon as he can be.

While he is at work and between meetings he texts you as he does research on gender dysphoria, asking you if you’d like to talk to a therapist about it, if you want to go shopping for a binder on his next day off, and if you’d want him to help you pay for any hormones and surgeries in the future.

He’ll offer to take you suit shopping as well, saying his tailor can do amazing things to give you whatever shape you want.

He also offers you his wardrobe. His clothes may or may not fit you as some of them are fit to his specific body but if there is something in there you want to try on he has no problems letting you.

He asks Jaehee to go get you a trans flag and deliver it to the apartment while he does work.

He tries his best to comfort you through gifts.

He’ll also try physical affection through kisses. Lots… and lots… of kisses.

Jumin Han was tired. Work was exhausting and he wanted nothing more than to sit in bed with you and listen to your voice. On his way into the door of your shared apartment he hears Elizabeth the 3rd jumping off something in the distance and starting to make her way towards him, as she always does when he gets home. He puts all his stuff down and feed Elizabeth, petting her head, before making his way to your bedroom. When he sees you it’s like his entire body relaxes. He undresses and puts on his pajamas, asking you how your day eases

“Did you like the flag? I looked up which one was the correct version and made sure assistant Kang got the correct size for the walls. Feel free to hang it up wherever you like. I know a tailor that will give you whatever shape you want love, I can book you an appointment with him if you’d like. He’s worked with a plethora of people so he’ll understand what you mean if you say your want to look like the man you are. I can also book you an appointment with a reputable doctor to discuss boron ones or surgery if you wish. Don’t worry about paying for anything, let me spoil you. Now come here snd let me show you how much I love the amazing man in my bed.”

Part 2

Part two will include 707, Jaehee, V, and Saeran!