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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

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vashievoidz · 2 months

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I'm pissed off to see that Palestine is not trending on here. I know that we all have interests we want to talk about, but this week is another global strike, Palestine should be the number one trending, and it's not even number 10. You can put aside your interests for one week. Bisan and so many others are begging us to use our voices to pressure our governments to put an end to this genocide. MILLIONS of people are counting on us, PLEASE don't look away no matter how upset and tired you are. We have the luxury of being able to just put our phones down and going off to do something to feel better. But just this once, for ONE WEEK, you can put aside your discomfort and SPEAK UP. How many people have to die for you to care.

#im sorry if this comes off as harsh but im just so. tired.#how hard is it for you to stop buying from shit companies that actively fuel genocide #how hard is it for you to stop publicly posting about your interests and speak up #obviously you can take time to yourself and talk about your interests in private #but this is TOO IMPORTANT #free palestine #free gaza #eyes on palestine #eyes on rafah #hands off rafah #palestine

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hychlorions · 9 months

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my take on the infamous klavier defendant trope 🥴 hey guys i think i like the idea of klavier going to jail now

#klapollo #klavier gavin #apollo justice #trucy wright #ace attorney #.png #dialogue taken from me and my friend talking about shaddiq #I HAVE MORE.... i just spent too long on the mugshot and got tired #ft. klavier trucy friendship but that's for later #if/when i get the energy

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miwtual · 10 months

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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

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vurelly · 7 months

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sometimes i do not want to consume a media and justify my liking it by making it known that im aware of it's faults and loving it despite, sometimes i just want to love things wholly and unapologetically because it made me feel something and even if it was a little fucked up it did nothing to reduce the amount of love i held for it

im aware it's not perfect, but let me love it like it is, if only because it makes me happy

#vu talks shit #i sit atop a throne of cringe medias i love #and sometimes i just get tired of starting every conversation about these things with #'now im aware it's not perfect BUT'#im aware of the faults already but if you ask me about my interests im not here to talk about the bad parts of them #i want to talk about the parts that made me love them dearly augh #this is way too mushy for 3 in the afternoon

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inkskinned · 8 months

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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

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ruporas · 1 year

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can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged #back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this #department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being #alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever #badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of #guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too #i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time #it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally.#evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay #they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their #desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even #if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years #they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg #and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone.#ruporas art

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redysetdare · 5 months

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I'm an "AroAce Stereotype" I'm Romance averse/Repulsed> I'm Sex repulsed I'm non-partnering I hate the idea of marriage in all forms I don't want a QPR at all I'm loveless I'm someone who gets uncomfortable at sexual talk and sex jokes I'm someone who often has innuendos or sexual concept fly over my head. I'm someone who can't tell when someone is flirting with me I'm someone who can't pick up on romantic or sexual tension I'm someone who finds "shipping" to be annoying I'm someone who says "They just seem like friends to me" I'm someone who believed that attraction could be turned on or off I'm someone who can't make sense of romance at all and cant figure out what makes it different from every other relationship. I'm someone who thinks romance is stupid and sex is gross and I don't understand the big deal everyone makes about it I'm someone who never was upset to find out I was AroAce but rather relieved as I have a genuine fear of being stuck in a romantic relationship that i do not want. In all cases I am not an AroAce who can be considered "normal" by the standards of allo society.

I'm not just a stereotype for you to shit on. I'm not the reason aphobes are aphobic I'm not a problem that you need to erase and refute to be accepted by allos. I'm not an experience that you and ignore as "not really how aspec people are" just because You are not part of it. Stop leaving us behind. Stop throwing us under the bus. We deserve support too. We deserve to not be demonized and shunned because we're an "stereotype". We are not the problem. We are not a problem to be fixed. start fighting aphobes on their logic instead of trying to make up for our existence.

#text #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #mostly talking abt aroace experience because thats me #but this can go for other aspec identities too #aphobia #im just tired of other aspec people agreeing with the oppressors that certain experiences are wrong #and promising that THEY aren't like that THEY are normal and shouldn't be ridiculed #but never do anything to protect the rest of us from ridicule #because really they just want to protect their experience they dont care about the wider community #and it's frustrating #because we should all be supporting each other because thats how things get better #if we tell aphobes there are exceptions then suddenly all aspec people can become an exception #because they dont care about us being socially acceptable aspecs they care about us not being aspec period #they dont want us to exist because then they have to question their world view and that dont like doing that #so they'll play nice with the ones they can pretend are normal before they decide that you're not good enough either

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nothingbizzare · 3 months

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Three tipes of people on valentine's day

#i completely forgot that today is valentine's day oh welp i think its because the aro/ace silly me is here for only chocolate #happy valentines day for everyone !! hope u have a good day !!#i was first thinking to draw something with fashion and terumob but then started thinking of funny comics so here have this #teru loves valentine's day because he gets chocolate #i really wanna see how cheap i can get chocolate after valentine's day #ritsu getting as well a lot of home made cookies and chocolate but like what to do with so many sweets like he is thinking about health #nothingbizzare art #i am talking too much #hanazawa teruki #mob psycho 100 #mob psycho fanart #shigeo kageyama #teruki hanazawa #ritsu kageyama #mp100 #mp100 fanart #now i am tired to tag because i was so excited to talk aaaaaaaaaaaa #i need to talk with someone about mob psycho

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lowpolyshadow · 10 months

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forced to once again remember how shadow is laughing when he says "i think i figured out what the ultimate lifeform is! it might be you!"

#speaking #he says this while literally actively dying in space losing energy enough that he isn't too prideful to say straight up #that he can't last very long like this while sonic's almost every voice line has some variant of 'shadow you okay?!?!'#he just fucking. laughs. i can only imagine it's that tired exhausted manic state that makes him go 'haha ... sonic!!!'#insane to me. like . jesus christ dude. what the fuck.#i was gonna say this is an unhinged reaction to reframing your entire life and purpose but at the same time i guess he already did that #smth smth 'i have to keep my promise to maria ... and you' (dies) (im talking about myself but him too he dies too)

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beaulesbian · 1 year

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the puss in boots movie rlly does have everything, including this type of villain

#i love that the cricket still tried to see him in positive light when he started talking about the wish #but nope #it was just more selfish stuff that would ruin the world #puss in boots #puss in boots spoilers #puss in boots the last wish #big jack horner #idk whats the cricket's name #im too tired to gif but i havent rlly seen any stuff about this scene specifically #dreamworks #mine #long post #its as if.. as if i heard those similar words from some other ppl hm #amazing storytelling to our todays world

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rowrowronnie · 9 months

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it would be quite funny if the blu medic was also their collective therapist

#tf2 #fanart #art #doodle #tf2 fanart #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #my thoughts #comic #he would get so tired of them all instantly but he also likes the bonus it gives him #so he deals #scout is his favorite to deal with because his adhd ass talks about anything and everything and it gives medic a break from #All the mental health issues he has to analyze #also it is My Headcanon and blu Scout and Medic are 4ever besties to me 🤞🤞‼️‼️#also apologies if there r too much doodle posting i Finally have a bit of freetime and wifi

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skitskatdacat63 · 10 days

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"it was good fun! Surprisingly competitive I would say!"

#LITERALLY THE CUTEST MAN TO EVER EXIST #ive said this before but #seriously if you ever feel bad abt his results #just go watch his interview bcs wow nowadays seemingly he is never upset on main #as suzuki said to me: what drugs does aston have him on #bcs seriosuly #bro dnfed and is fine?? super smiley even?????#i think its just a matter of extremely low expectations tbh so he cant really be affected anymore atp #and he was happy about being up in the front so long!#bcs they didnt think he could sustain it that long both cause the pace and the tires #lmao n the other hand carlos seemed very salty imo #i think he said smth along the lines of fernando being too ambitious????? bro youre talking abt fernando alonso like??#and said he ruined both their results ah stfu dude #the guy youre talking abt literally dnfed and is all smiley #fernando alonso #2024 chinese gp #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1

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daily-odile · 25 days

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Happy birthday Bonnie!!!!

bonus:

can't see bonnie without their iconic hat so have a hat on a hat

#i wouldve done a cake but... so many people made cakes for bonnie already... so have. big pineapple slice?#isat #isat bonnie #in stars and time #non odile post #day 73 #16 left #whaaat. it's not a day late. what are you talking about #too tired to make another post today with odile so have bonnie celebration!!

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juniemunie · 30 days

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Wait, for real!?!?!?!👀

Yep yep! Ink has two dads, and one of them is Zephyr!Gaster or Aster. He's super adorable, you should check out his FAQ!

Ink and his other dad (Undertop!Gaster) teaches him about the Multiverse and on the other hand Aster teaches Ink to enjoy things (machinery, blueprints, astrophysics) that don't rely on his inky creation powers!

Ink does some other non paint stuff too, he plays the flute for one and iirc, he is trying sewing, which is why I made my variant of him get into embroidery

( > 〰 < )♡

#im too tired to draw anything on that paper and im no blueprint expert so. feel free to imagine whatever they are building and talking about #maybe hes letting ink try and make his own machine! and giving him a blank paper to start #i love seeing lineless but making one is an oof #i love em either way tho #junie art post #ink sans #inktale sans #zephyrtale #zt!gaster #IVE FINALLY DRAWN ONE OF THE DADS YIPEE #utmv

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aaesaesthetic · 6 months

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Wyllweek day 6: favorite ship (romantic or not)

I like Wyll and Karlach, both as besties and a ship. They're both so sweet and they basically never leave my party. Good guys squad, let's gooooo!

#we don't talk about how hard it was for me to do today's image good lord #did I make Karlach too pink? I think I did #I could've also made the scarring better but it's 1am I'm tired :u:#my art #Wyll #Wyll Ravengard #Karlach #Karlach Cliffgate #Baldur's Gate 3 #Baldurs Gate 3 #BG3 #wyllweek #wyllvember

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