#tbh is okay i just have to accept they are bad patriarch

[ilpiubelbruttomisandro]

Dragon Ball fandom that read super, why the fuck Goku and Vegeta trains for two/ almost three years non stop without visiting family once? I was shocked reading superhero, that was so unnecessary

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I can kind of see why Hyrule reads as imperialistic to you in totk, but why do they read white? Sonia is brown and rauru is a black goat. What makes the difference between them and Ganondorf so bad?

Hey, thanks for the ask!

So... I have an answer, and it's kind of in layers. So I hope it's fine if I kind of go on Journey TM where I figure out my own feelings on the topic alongside you, the person reading! It's long! Kind of meandery! Sorry!!

Also, I had written a great version of this reply to this ask that Tumblr fucking ate and I'm furious about it, so this version is slightly more annoyed as a baseline because of Tumblr and not the ask itself. But I got stubborn and decided I would rewrite the whole thing tonight. So.

Here we go.

Layer One: My Basic and Unfiltered Gut Reaction

My first, potentially unwarranted gut-level reaction would be: I kind of think it's a stretch to consider them POC-coded. Sonia gives me more tanned Ariana Grande vibes than anything else, but that's... I mean, I'm aware that there are brown people with lushious blonde hair and blue eyes out there, that race as USA-infused Internet understands it is Complicated (I'm half-brazilian, and even though I'm very very white and don't consider myself biracial but bicultural, I had people discussing my ethnicity to my face a non-zero amounts of time, including quite recently, including in my own family! so I super get that it's more complicated than what I make it out to be here). But given vibes don't count as an argument, I completely get + accept if that reading on her ethicity is therefore dismissed. She could very well be brown. Fine by me.

(so, I feel like I have to add this borderline-conspiratory reason why I'm suspicious of her skin color being considered a factor here, which can 100% be dismissed but I still want to bring it to the table: I've been to several meetings and heard about many instances where "diverse traits" are being handed over to characters with the explicit purpose of using that diversity as shields against deeper criticisms of core aspects of the storytelling instead of fixing the storytelling itself, and honestly it could very well be the case here. I really hope it's just the team thinking Sonia would be prettier with a darker skin tone, because her design is genuinely lovely and I really like it, wish she didn't die like immediately and had a character arc of her own, but. Imagine the kneeling scene with two very white ladies and everything else, etc. It might be overly paranoid of me, but I can't help but squint a little bit in this specific instance, especially since the biracial trait here is so toned-down that it's barely there and barely committed to anything. Which would also make a good argument against this suspicion too tbh! Anyway. Just wanted to bring that up so you get the whole picture of where my brain is at.)

Rauru... Okay. Here's the thing: I can't unsee The Rauru. The original one I mean (and his Skyward Sword Gaebora counterpart), aka: the White Patriarch of all times.

(this has nothing to do with anything but Link's little recoil animation here is so funny to me, like he looks so shocked and his nose is so pointy)

I do think that removing the origins of this character from his DNA for TotK is kind of overly convenient when discussing this iteration, especially when his role in this game is basically a mixture of OoT Rauru and the Unnamed King of Hyrule (and every king of Hyrule that came after). I mean, okay sure maybe the Unnamed, Unseen King of Hyrule wasn't white but... it's obviously not true, right? And while I understand this is a different iteration of that character, many characters in the series maintain their base ethnicity across different reimaginings (even Blue Pig Ganon remains a gerudo at heart post OoT, at least in the way we keep on understanding him). And beyond this, given the fact that Rauru retains this energy of a Founding Father (in the largest possible sense), I feel that, at the very least, that patriarchal energy is extremely important to his character to a core degree.

But even so, yes. Rauru is now indeed a Goat Man. Not only is he a Goat Man, but he dresses in ways that are very inspired by mesoamerican cultures; undeniably so. So that would make him at least mesoamerican-coded, right?

I mean... I guess? I guess. Sure. But. I have now to introduce the Layer 2 of my argumentation, which is that...

Layer Two: Zonai Culture is Hylian Coded

So. Pretty bold claim I know. Let me explain.

Now I certainly do not want to say that mesoamerican civilizations are not *everywhere* in the aesthetic inspiration for the zonai culture in Tears of the Kingdom; I'm sure these real life references are overflooding the moodboards, from the color palet to the symbols to the artstyle, the costumes and the buildings. It's the main way the game communicates zonai-ness to us the player. And it's great! I wish they had went even harder in that direction (I think there's even pretty dramatic differences between the zonai ruins on the surface, much more interesting imo, than what was done with the actual zonai architecture at its peak).

But now, I will ask a question that I asked myself often while playing. What is zonai culture, beyond the feathers and the indented patterns and the swirls and the dangly bits? What characterizes it? I would say that zonai civilization is primarily interested in automation, technology, mining to develop said technology, and things that float in the sky. Beyond this, and from the limited perspective the game gives us through Rauru and Mineru, we see a society ruled by a patriarch (neutral term, it is just patriarchal in nature), married to a woman who is a priestess and doesn't seem to hold an equal amount of power (she doesn't speak as much, seems content to handle the religious side of things), who values collaboration and engineering prowesses, has an army, servants, robot servants, administrates other races through, to be docile and go the game's way, collaborativeness... It's Hyrule. It's just Hyrule, except older and with a different paintjob; but at heart, the style of society upheld by Rauru is very (eerily?) similar to what we get to know in the TotK/BotW era. Actually, this version of Hyrule seems extraordinarily similar to the Hyrule we get to see in BotW pre-Calamity: replace the zonai technology with the sheikah's, and what's the difference --except that this later version of Hyrule isn't trying to pass itself off as perfect? Zelda doesn't experience any kind of culture shock. Even the language seems to be basically the same. It is Hyrule, because it is. It's the origins of the kingdom. This is the whole point of the zonais: being that familiar thing that we know and love, except more pristine and more glorious and more mysterious so we can be sad when it gets destroyed.

So is it aesthetically inspired by mesoamerican cultures? Yes. Does it evoke specific details about said culture? The way politics and religion interconnect perhaps (unless we consider Rauru coming from the gods as such, but it's nooot super specific and not really elaborated upon)? What that culture valued, or what we assume it once valued? Cultural shortcuts we tend to make with these cultures, for better or for worse? I may be extremely uncultured here, and if that's the case I apologize, but I never really saw any of the aspects highlighted as the core pillars of the zonais commonly associated with either mesoamerican ancient civilizations, or current living native decendants of these civilizations. The biggest connexion or shortcut I see is the "mysterious ancient advanced civilization", which is pretty vague and was honestly more convincing in BotW.

Then of course, it doesn't invalidate that connection. But now, as a point of comparaison, to see what happens when Zelda takes active steps in coding one of their fantasy races... Let's take a look at the gerudos, shall we?

(Urbosa appreciation break. She's just so freakin cool look at her goooo!!! okay now we can keep going.)

I have said my whole spiel about the gerudos about a bajillion times now so I will try to make it quick. My tl;dr is: gerudos were always meant to be culturally disruptive. It's their whole point in the Zelda series. I won't rehash the whole thing about the crescent moon, the orientalism etc, but I think it's important to remember that they are meant to be considered foreign in a way no other Zelda race ever is. What I mean by this is, if we return to OoT: they are the only race hostile to Hyrule enough to not only consider and carry out an invasion, but to forbid entrance to their territory if you are not one of them. They have a different (apparenly evil-looking) god and their ears are rounded when everyone else is some sort of elf, their script is different, their cultural values are different, it's a weird semi-matriarchy where the man-king's occasional patriarchy has a very different social role than the king of Hyrule even if we don't get to see all the details... Won't return on the thievery and the 90s islamophobic kick of that time period, but the gerudos were very obviously crafted to be culturally deviant to the Hylian norm; their difference so great that getting accepted by them is an actual fighting and infiltration challenge. And even though they are much friendlier in TotK/BotW, they are still, by far the most innaccessible and different race out of all the rooster of, and it's worth mentioning, fish-people, bird-people and rock-people. They are the only one with their own language, their own strict rules that oppose your freedom as a player, a series of side-quests that directly address the subject of culture clash and differences; and, even then, they still parallel the real life western fantasy about the Orient TM (even more-so in TotK I would say, which I didn't love): the locked-in harem foreign men are forbidden to enter. This core idea is so entrenched that it becomes gameplay.

When it comes to Ganondorf, the parallel remains, more present than ever: in that game he gets to embody the foreign, cruel, brutal, cunning, manipulative, uncomfortably feminine at times, envious, physically intimidating, oppressive Man of the Desert in a long tradition of Men from the Desert and the rich legacy of literature and movies that portray them. It's not new to TotK, to be very clear: but TotK did double-down on the trope at the cost of Ganondorf's specificity as a character instead of questioning the trope that birthed him the way the series had tried to do in the past (even TP wasn't that bad, doing away with a lot of the baggage altogether --for better and for worse).

So to me... saying that zonais are mesoamerican-coded, in a world where we simply do not actively interact with these cultures all that much anymore (not at all to minimize the very real oppression of their descendants and the extreme and sickening violence their ancestors were met with to be extremely clear --I'm just saying that the violence wouldn't have worldwide cultural resonance in the same way and I don't think would have much reality in Japan unless, again, I'm saying dumb things and in that case please do correct me), or the extremely mild and non-invested way Zelda handled these cultures (to me it's much more costume than coding), positively too (good!), and comparing them to the active coding of the gerudos (and especially Ganondorf) as a means to equalize them as "basically the same thing" feels... a little off to me.

But! Now we're getting to the last layer!!

(you have no idea how long I searched for this gif, I typed "Ganondorf kneeling" in the gif search, like a fool, and parsed through much, much horniness to finally find my little dude anyway layer 3!!!)

Layer Three: It Isn't What Actually Matters Now Is It (at least according to me, the person writing this post)

Honestly, I don't really care whether Rauru and Sonia are white-coded or not. They could be, they could not be, cool by me either way. I don't really care if the zonai culture is meant to stand-in for mesoamerican cultures for Real for Sure or not, and heavily doubt it was done to increase diversity (otherwise Rauru wouldn't be, like, a Goat-Man but just a brown man). I do appreciate the visual diversity of the cast of NPCs, that hylians can look like a whole number of people and it's really cool Hyrule is moving into that direction instead of being very typecast into a sort of Japanese-ish representation of western middle ages/fantasy/fairy tale thing.

But at heart, what bothers me between this whole dynamic has less to do with whom is coded as whom than the fact that this game twisted itself into knots to tell a very suspiciously clean story about its complicated world and complicated history, and I feel like it's completely fine to ask for more than the bare minimum of visual representation and question the way these characters get to interact with each other and how their real life struggles are meaningfully talked about in the worlds Nintendo spend millions crafting? Sometimes, what they do is already great! Sometimes it's half-great! Most of the time, it could be so much better --especially when some of these subjects have been talked about to death for over 25 years (sorry to beat that dead horse one more time btw)

At the end of the day, the story itself is strange for many reasons. The power dynamic between the characters is attempting to be several things at once; maybe it's not on purpose, but either way, the world TotK paints is a strange one that only holds itself together if we accept to take it at face value. Which we don't have to.

And to me, TotK felt particularly shallow in that specific department of representation due to the whole... Imperialist Vibes thing (the other ask about this is queue'd, it's coming!), which nullified a lot of these efforts for me. It's not only about who's represented, but how they are represented as well, and, very importantly, why.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[yuyupowers]

aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa 

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place 

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?” 

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”

[neverdoingmuch]

I’m here for the ‘swords not as pets’ agenda. Swords as cars: solid, get you from place to place, potentially dangerous, customizable, something people name. Wwx losing his license taking the fall for a mistake jc made (idk, dui maybe?) and just choosing to mod the hell out of a self-balancing scooter or segway or something so it goes dangerously fast. Alternatively: spending 3 months inventing the first functional actual levitating hoverboard, with an insane top speed. 3 months in the (1/2)

sawdfert this is delightful!! i saw segway and i immediately started wheezing,, there was no time for laughing i went straight to the wheezing. i think it would make more sense if wwx lost his car and got a motorcycle? like hoverboards and segways are cool but motorcycles have that big reputation of being dangerous and there’s the whole ‘rebellious teen gets a motorcycle and becomes a delinquent’ thing? like motorcycles are fast and if you crash it’s so much worse than if you were in a car and there’s no airbags or anything. but also?? wwx rocking up to school on a segway while playing his flute like the shittiest entrance ever? iconic. but let’s stick with chenqing as a motorcycle/scooter (motorcycle-esque scooter not the ones that try and take out your ankles).

okay so all the major sects are super rich so in a modern au it would make sense for all the sect heirs to get cars. i’m not saying that jc and wwx complain about jzx being stuck-up bc he was given a porsche for his birthday even though they were also given cars for their birthdays,,, but i am. at first it would have been this major point of contention between yzy and jfm bc wwx isn’t even their son so why is he getting a car too but wwx is like ah it’s so i can drive jc and jyl to school! you wouldn’t want their cars being left outside the school all day would you? someone in my maths class had their car get keyed and it was super expensive to fix,, and yzy is like yes wwx may have a car only to protect my children from parking hassles,, also wwx must pay for his own parking. so wwx and jc both get given cars for their bdays.

now wwx gets bored easily,, so you could translate him being a cultivation genius to him being really good at driving. im talking that jc is still getting the hang of switching gears and wwx is out there casually drifting around corners. (this does mean he has to get new tyres really frequently but he’s friends with wen ning, whose family runs the mechanics that wwx likes to go to so he just helps around the shop for a bit and gets a discount (yes its the family discount)). anyway wwx really enjoys driving, also! he just rocks up to wen ning’s place one day and is like dude, i wanna pimp my ride, wanna help and wen ning is like heck yeah. so wwx pays for some upgrades with his own money and he spends hours doing some custom work to make it look cool,,

it’s all going well until wwx and jc go to wen chao’s party one night and jc gets absolutely sloshed,,, like completely hammered. wwx had walked in, grabbed a cup of lemonade or something and was gonna hang with his friends but lwj was there for some reason so he spent the entire night talking to him in the back garden. which means that when jc wanted to leave he saw wwx hanging out with lwj and went ew gross and just decided to drive home himself. he crashes and when wwx comes home the next day jc gets super pissed at him bc he was meant to be the designated driver and if he hadnt been screwing around with lwj jc wouldnt have tried to drive home and now his parents will be super pissed and wwx is like woah chill my grandmother is a mechanic and she can fix this up just give me a couple of days. 

so wwx goes to baoshan sanren mechanics (which is just the back entrance to the wen sibling’s mechanics) and spends the next three days getting rid of all of his customisations and mods so his car looks exactly like jc’s. does he cry when he has to spend like five mins spraying the inside of the car with axe body spray to get the jc stench going on? maybe a little. but he does it and returns the car to jc! and jc is like oh wow my car is fixed, your grandma is a miracle worker and wwx is like haha yeah (:

anyway wwx mysteriously and suddenly discovers a passion for public transport,, it’s a good way to stay humble jiang cheng, he says, also i used all my petrol money buying porn from nhs or whatever. anyway wwx is doing the whole pt to school thing but then one afternoon wen chao and wzh find him and idk maybe the party got too rowdy so the cops came and wc got in trouble with his dad? he assumes wwx called the cops on him so he shoves wwx into his car and drives him out to the middle of no where and dumps him in the burial mounds scrap metal recycling place or whatever. 

the train line isn’t running that day and there’s no phone service either so wwx is stuck there overnight. he gets super bored. so what does he do? he finds an abandoned scooter and starts scavenging for parts. he’s not expecting it to actually work but by the time the sun rises he’s found some actually decent parts and he thinks that he could get it working. tbh he kinda forgets to go back home and just walks into town to buy some food and then goes back and continues fiddling with the scooter. he doesnt live there for the three months but the people in yiling just accept that this random teenager has all but moved into their scrap heap and adopt him anyway. so he goes and visits the burial mounds every day after school so none of his friends or family really see him anymore. 

until! one day he rocks up to school on his scooter. scooters,, are kinda like sad pathetic motorcycles,, but wwx mods his scooter with like a powerful engine and new steering and everything so people see it and go oh! a motorcycle! even though it’s not actually (can you do that with a scooter? idk but suspend your disbelief pls). so lwj is like hnnngg wwx in a leather jacket on a motorcycle but also wei ying, stop riding a motorcycle, *enter statistics about motorcycle crashes here* and wwx is like no! you cant take chenqing away from me. and jc is pissed bc they were meant to be brothers and have matching cars and be able to work on them and give them cool paint jobs together! but now wwx has this bike which has been modded to hell and back and refuses to drive his car bc it’s not as cool as his bike. so we get to have the whole ‘everyone thinks wwx is doing something dumb and dangerous’ bc he has a motorcycle and why isnt he just driving his car anymore? but we also get to keep some of the nuance of the demonic cultivation bc yeah it’s more dangerous than driving in a car but wwx doesnt have a car anymore and scooters are a loottt safer than motorcycles (if my two seconds of research is correct).

so! wwx won’t abandon chenqing and he did most of his work using scrap parts so he goes back to the wens and is like wen ning my best bro check her out and he’s like oooooooh and they start modding chenqing together. wen qing doesnt know why wwx is constantly over at their shop all the time but jc keeps arguing with wwx and wwx grows more distant with his family and friends bc he’s making ~bad decisions~ and a motorcycle is a gateway to idk teen delinquent shenanigans like smoking and doing graffiti so he’s kinda ousted from respectable rich people society and wen qing is like i have two (2) brothers now and they’re adorable not that i’ll ever tell them that. and wwx modding chenqing got him a reputation in yiling like everyone saw him walk in one day and then drive out with this sexy sexy bike so people start coming to him for mods and stuff and wwx earns the title yiling patriarch and wen ning, his trusted best friend and helper, gets called the ghost general bc idk he helps a lot but the customers never meet him. so they become some dynamic duo for car and bike mods!

anyway,, yzy delivers him an ultimatum one day: the car or the bike (or more accurately: the family or the bike) but wwx can’t drive the car anymore so he just gets quietly disowned and drops out of school. (we’ll save jzxuan the suffering in this au he can keep his car). he goes to the wens and theyre like hey whats up? wait no you cant live in a scrap heap,, not even if you buy a tent,,, just live with us please. and then wwx gets adopted by the wens and idk i want them to have a happy ending so wwx and wn go off and do some actual mechanic and modding training with some expert (sqdcfgt imagine if it was the real baoshan sanren who just happened to be in the market for some apprentices and saw wwx and wn’s work and was like them and then later realised it was her grandson). so they get their apprenticeship and they disappear off somewhere for a year or two - when wwx had been disowned he’d deleted everyone’s contacts and was like if they text me i’ll add them back but im not gonna have a contact list cemetery. (no one contacts him). 

eventually the 13 years pass and wwx has been helping the wens raise their little nephew a-yuan who is showing a real aptitude for being a mechanic even though he’s just a kid and just generally enjoying the quiet life of being a mechanic while doing fun mods and lil baby projects. then one day lwj’s car breaks down while he’s driving through the area and he calls up the local mechanic and guess who rocks up? it’s wwx. and then we get to have them dance around each other and wwx being like lwj doesnt trust me, he’s just sitting here and watching me work all day ): and lwj is like dont let him go dont let him go dont let him go,, and eventually they get their romance but this is way too long already so im im gonna end this here

i didnt mean to make this an entire au but i adored your idea so much anon so i kinda had to!!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[obsidianfr3sk]

Humon + all the questions 👀👀👀👀👀👀

*Cracks her knuckles* My time has come

100 Otp Questions (✨Humon edition✨)

1. Who loves flower crowns more? Simon. I think that during most of his childhood and teen years he tried to repress a lot of his more "feminine" interests so when he became an adult and a little more confident, he started to kinda obsess over them 2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle? Hugh 3. Who has awful taste in music? Hugh (? HE JUST SEEMS LIKE HE HAS SHITTY MUSICAL TASTE, OK????? 4. Who is the meme lover? Simon, and Hugh always goes like "I don't get it" 5. How did their second date go? Better than the first one:) 6. How many children do they want/have? They always wanted to have a lot of kids 7. Who hides the weapons? Simon 8. Who is the better dancer? Hugh. Simon's super clumsy, but it’s kinda adorable:) 9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding? No, they went to the courthouse after a few weeks after they defeated Ace Anarchy and had a small ceremony with friends (they were still mourning Georgia u.u) 10. What do their parents think of them dating? Well, according to my headcanons (? Hugh didn't actually meet his parents (because Mr. Everhart didn't want t prodigy son) but Simon lived with this dad! Mr. Westwood didn’t like Hugh that much because he thought he may be a bad influence:) But after they started dating he started to notice Simon was so happy with him, and at the end of the day, it was all that mattered. But yeah he still didn't like Hugh that much lol his son was too good for him (? 11. Are they a super sappy couple? When they're drunk, yes (? 12. How did they get together? Simon was the introvert Hugh, an extrovert, adopted 13. Who asked the other to get married? They asked each other at the same time:) 14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes? Simon. 15. Who is the nerd? B O T H 16. Who knows the most obscure facts? Hugh: *drinks water* Simon: you know... drinking too much water can actually kill you. Hugh: *nervously drinks water* 17. Who makes the other a flower crown? Simon, but one day Hugh tried to make one for him (it was a little bit... ugly, but Simon liked it) 18. Who likes to read? Simon. 19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads? Hugh 20. Who tutors the other? Hugh 21. Do they have similar taste in movies? Yeah, for some reason I think they both like Marvel movies lol 22. How do their personalities complement each other? Simon is more sensitive, calm, and proactive, while Hugh is more dense, social, and reactive 23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon? If you've read my fic Catch Me if I Should Fall, you know I believe Georgia asked Hugh to take care of Adrian if something happened to her. So when something did happen to her lol I think Hugh told Simon about the conversation they had, and Simon accepted without hesitation. Simon was the one who told the rest of the team, and honestly, nobody objected, because they knew they were the most capable of taking care of a child. 24. Who has better fashion sense? Hugh:) 25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner? Both 26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle? OKAY SDAJFASFJD hahaha just imagine (? Adrian's on the car with them and Simon just starts singing at the top of his lungs "Stacy's Dad" but instead of saying "Stacy" he sings "Adrian". Adrian is super embarrassed because omg the cringe and he goes "dad tell pops to stop" while Simon is "ADRIAN'S DAD IS ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD HE'S ALL I WANT AND I'M OBSESSED JUST A TAD". So Hugh looks at him dead in the eye and says: "OH ADRIAN CAN'T YOU SEE YOUR DAD JUST THE GUY FOR ME" and then they both go "I KNOW IT MAY BE BAD BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH ADRIAN'S DAD" and Adrian jumps out of the car 27. What other couple would your otp get along with? I think they would get along with Tamaya and her husband:) 28. Who likes to prank the other? Okay so dskbsajfdjsd I think Simon, but like, he would make sexual jokes (? and Hugh would be like "I don't know how to respond to that". But he likes them xd 29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures? Both. 30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates? Sweetie, they already know it 31. Where would they live? It's not like they don't like living in their mansion, but they would be more than happy if they lived in a small house:) As long as they're together 32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one? *googles types of dragons* so apparently Quetzalcoatl is considered a dragon... yeah, they would own a Quetzalcoatl :))) 33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be? Okay there are too many types of vampires what the actual fuck askdhsjakfdj but yeah, I think they would be your standard vampire lol 34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween? THEY WOULD DRESS UP AS EACH OTHER SDFBSHFBJ The Dread Captain and Chromium Warden (? 35. Can they name each other’s favorite food? Yes!!! Hugh knows Simon favorite food is pupusas (a traditional Salvadorian dish) (yes I headcanon Simon as half Salvadorian fight me) and one time he tried to cook them for him but he almost set the kitchen on fire. Ah, and Simon knows Hugh's favorite food is apple pie:) 36. Do they have pet names for one another? Hugh: *calls his husband dear/hun* Simon: *call his husband dude, amigo, bro, captain, and sometimes love, when he's in a good mood* 37. How do they cheer each other up? "I love you" "I know" "And I know you know. I just wanted to make sure you remember. Do you wanna talk about it?" "No" "It's okay. I'm here for you tho." "I know. And thank you" 38. Do they show a lot of PDA? At first, Simon had problems with PDA because fucking homophobes are everywhere, but now he hugs Hugh in public every time he can. And Hugh doesn't have a problem with it:) 39. How old were they when they got together? My headcanon is that they were 16, almost 17:) 40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home? SIMON ASAJDBJSD and Hugh would be the one who's like "i don't want animals in this house Simon you have to find him another home i'm the patriarch and I've spoken" but then two months later he's like "Simon the dog sleeps in the bed tonight he's a puppy and there's a thunderstorm he will get scared:(((" 41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses? Some of them 42. What is their song? YOU FELL ASLEEP IN MY CAR I DROVE THE WHOLE TIME BUT THAT'S OKAY I'LL JUST AVOID THE HOLES SO YOU SLEEP FINE Tear in my Heart, by TOP 43. What does their room look like? LIKE A PINTEREST MOM ROOM LOL 44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded? Hugh kills the zombies, Simon keeps him grounded 45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed? Añis, I think both of them:) 46. Who loves kids more? Simon. Hugh likes his kids and kids sometimes like him, but they're sticky and loud and just... no:) 47. Do either of them have a crazy ex? Does Ace count? 48. What are their favourite colours? Simon's favorite colour is purple and Hugh's is blue 49. Who likes to cook? Both, but Simon cooks better:) 50. Who is the forgetful one? I think Simon lol 51. Does either of them know how to fight? They do!! Like you cannot be a superhero without knowing how to fight lol. But I think Simon is more of thinking before every movent and Hugh tends more to using brute force 52. What do they do for Valentine's Day? They send each other flowers to work and have a romantic dinner at their house, is a tradition. 53. Who swears more? When they were younger Hugh used to curse more, but when they got older, Simon started doing it more than him 54. Who has the better comebacks? Simon. Sometimes Hugh is just... mean with his comebacks 55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale? H U G H (he's a soccer mom trapped in the body of a gay superhero) (Hugh: FIGHT ME TINA!) 56. Who reads buzzfeed? Both, but Simon does it ironically, Hugh doesn't (? 57. Who is the hopeless romantic? Both:) 58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand? Yes, Simon. 59. Who can rap better? S I M O N (One time Hugh was having a rap battle with Tamaya and Simon went “GO WHITE BOY GO”) 60. Do either of them want to go sky diving? No, they're too old for that 61. What do they usually text about? The kids, work, "i'm gonna order pizza" "all right" "but hurry up u r paying and i'm hungry", and "love ya" 62. Who is the dramatic one? It depends xd but I think Hugh lol 63. Is either one confrontational? Have you seen Hugh in Supernova?? the guy is batshit crazy i see why yall don't like him tbh 64. What is their favourite cuddle position? Spoon!!! (those basic bitches) 65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)? JUAN GABRIEL AND SELENA QUINTANILLA 66. What are their parenting styles? Well, for what I saw in the books, they're not really super strict, but I think Hugh is more strict than Simon:) 67. Who would be the more laid back one? Simon. He would sneak his kids a cookie after Hugh told him not 68. Who listens to more vulgar music? I think Simon, but he just listens to it when Hugh’s around because he goes like the lady from this vine and is hilarious 69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know? Hugh doesn't like papusas that much:) 70. Who is their go to couple for a double date? Tamaya and his husband! 71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date? Yes, they're nice:) 72. How do they work out a fight? I think they give the other their space to think and calm down, and then they talk about it. 73. Who brings home an illegal pet? SIMON BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW THE PET IS ILLEGAL UNTIL HUGH TELLS HIM 74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on? Hugh sleeps on the right side and Simon on the left side 75. What is their favorite photo of them two together? A candid photo Georgia took a few weeks after they started dating. They are at Simon's basement, shyly holding hands and looking at each other completely smitten 76. Who takes longer in the bathroom? Hugh lol 77. Who has more songs on their ipod? Simon!! 78. What movie did they first see together? Matilda xd 79. What do they like to see each other in? Their supersuits (? 80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times? Simon skdfhjsdjhs 81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children? Right after Adrian was born they started to think about it, but never really talked of it until they were like 24-25. 82. What do they love about each other the most? They both think of each other as the bravest person they have ever met. 83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focuses on the small details? Hugh sees the big picture and Simon focus on the small details 84. What would they write on their partner’s social media for their anniversary? Something really cheesy lol 85. Who is bad at math? Simon 86. Who googles everything? Hugh to win arguments, Simon out of anxiety 87. Who does stuff on impulse? Hugh (fucking obviously) 88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation? I think they just... hold hands. Like “maybe we cannot do anything about this situation, but if the worst happens, we’ll be together and that’s the only right thing in this world right now.” 89. What is an inside joke they have? "rEnEgAdEs???? More like RENEGAYS" 90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all? Hugh 91. What is their favourite holiday? Christmas!! 92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive? *Supernova flashbacks* 93. What is their favourite board game to play? Pachisi  94. Who accidental sets something on fire? Hugh 95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store? Hugh has the car ready and Simon robs the store 96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert? SELENA QUINTANILLA 97. Who sleep talks? Simon 98. Who is the more social one? Hugh 99. What are their karaoke songs? Don't Go Breaking My Heart, Dreaming of You, and Te Quiero Tanto (but Simon is the only one who can sing it; he's been taking Spanish classes because after his mother died, he forgot all his Spanish. He does what he can) 100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh? Hugh

[castiel-kline]

KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

[gncrevan]

(no rebl¤gs please)

i think what just endlessly frustrates me about gender and nonbinariness and womanhood is that i don't see my experience reflected and i don't actually feel comfortable with any of the options given to me in trans and nb circles or women's circles

like, make up is one of these big issues where i just notice how honestly all this shit about "make up has no gender" and using make up to alter your appearance into something more masculine/androgynous really held me back and reinforced patriarchal notions about having to wear make up and having to invest a huge amount of time in it. but my whole problem is i don't enjoy it, i don't feel comfortable, i don't wanna feel like my natural face is just too damn ugly to look at, i don't wanna waste time and energy and money on it that i could invest much better. i'm glad to be at a point where i only wear it to work or if i dress up for something, and only use very few products instead of turning my face into a full mask. i'm still self-conscious, but i have made huge steps forward and i don't try to drastically alter my appearance anymore. so yeah, i kind of hate this weird make up positivity in nb & trans circles cause that is not how i want to present myself and that is not how i can learn to accept and love myself, that is just performing gendered beauty standards that i cannot fulfill anyway.

as an adult trying to navigate the world, it's real damn hard to feel like there is any solid meaning in, like, nonbinary concepts of gender in the first place. i work with people who barely know what being gay is, not to mention trans. these are people i am not out to about being bisexual, and these are the kinds of people i interact with the most each day of my life. before i started a job, i really was in a fucking bubble of all these social justice savvy, often academic, young lgbt people or allies, but that's not the same as the world out there. and honestly, if you wanna stay sane and survive, you need a group and you need solidarity, and i've started feeling a lot more connected to womanhood again because i know at least other women will understand my struggles better and i will be safer with them than with men. i can't really be picky when i barely know any nonbinary people in real life, and spend all my time around cishets. straight women are still pretty terrible, but at least not as terrible as straight men.

it's kind of utopian anyway to assume being nonbinary somehow gives me an out of jail free card for the shit i get as a woman. i don't stop being a woman just by not calling myself one, the only way out seems to be trying to be parsed as a man and i don't wanna be a man. i'm an un-woman but i am still not a man, so i experience the same violence as women do, except my unfemininity, unwomanhood makes me even more of a target. i know that i could get out by transitioning but i am not a man. i hate men, am scared of men, have suffered too much from men. i never wanna be one of them.

and in general 99% of nonbinary discourse and identity politics online is so far removed from reality, at least my reality, that it doesn't make me feel at home or understood, it just makes me feel pressured to change things about myself, and that is already the problem i have with womanhood, that it makes people tell me how i should look or behave or be, and that is exactly what i don't want and what i hoped nonbinary identity would help me get away from! but no, i'm also doing nonbinary wrong because i don't do make up and i don't want to call myself a soft boy uwu and i am not pretty and i am made of edges and ugliness.

i'm not masculine either. not transmasculine, not masculine-of-center, not a masc woman. being unfeminine doesn't make me masculine by default and i hate that notion. i am gender non conforming. but that makes others lump me in as masculine and that is not me.

i wanna change my name but not my legal gender. i know nobody will use the name i want, and i don't want it for gender reasons anyway, i want it because i wanna cut ties to the violence i have endured. i want a mastectomy and a hysterectomy, but i don't want to go on T. there isn't room for me in the system that has been set up. my wishes are not medically necessary. i am scared of explaining them. how should anyone understand? it doesn't make sense. and i'm too unhealthy anyway, so surgery is a bad idea.

i've really only resonated with butch experiences, with the "i'm not a woman, i'm a lesbian" thing, except: i am not a lesbian. i feel like my bisexuality isn't allowed to be cited as my connection to womanhood. i feel like me saying "i am attracted to and love women and i recognize this as gay and that is why i am a woman myself, because i want to love other women as a woman" isn't okay since i also have the potential to like men, and am in a relationship with a man. i feel like i am barred from understanding my gender this way, and like i have to "choose". i feel like bisexual women are only allowed to be feminine -- either soft & flowery feminine or tough & sexy feminine, but definitely feminine. i feel like bisexual women have to want to be attractive to men, be comfortable about being attractive to men, define themselves in ways that are attractive to men. and i feel like i can't say i don't want that because i have a boyfriend (and who cares that my trauma and dysphoria have made our relationship entirely platonic and that while i want him to like how i look, like i want any person i love to like how i look, i know that if he looked at me the way straight men usually look at women they find attractive, it would make me want to set myself on fire).

i feel endlessly uncomfortable, and i feel isolated, and i feel upset. i don't see a way out for me in the near future, and tbh i feel like these issues aren't really at the forefront of things when i am struggling with my physical & mental illnesses so much, but that doesn't make them go away, and it doesn't stop me from wanting to cry every time i feel unable to relate to people in my life because my experiences & problems with navigating gender are so fundamentally different.

[kyohiba]

Xue Yang’s 420 Punishing Reincarnations AU

REINCARNATION AU

but who is he if he doesnt ruin it all tho

ssyifpfff🌙 OH YES

35m 34 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he ruins some stuff but not on the Did Everything Wrong & Ruined Everything level like he did

he could reincarnate n still find song lan bc hes..... basically immortal now

ssyifpfff🌙 n he helps heal xxcs n a-qins soul

34m 33 minutes ago yeeting patriarch like? mass murder of a sect over his pinky? Ok. using the goodness of xiao xingchen and breaking his soul beyond repair?? Too Much

ssyifpfff🌙 yea tht sect was full of dicks tbh but xxc was Angel

33m 33 minutes ago YES

what about xue yang paying off with some reincarnations

with each of them, he learns something

yeeting patriarch and pays for what he did and starts to Realize

ssyifpfff🌙 SLOW BURN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ASDFGHJK

32m 31 minutes ago yeeting patriarch in all those reincarnations, he meets painful ends

ssyifpfff🌙 in one of them he goes blind

32m 31 minutes ago but each makes him Learn And Pay

HOLD UP

and then, in the one where he manages to help song lan with the souls of xxc and a-qing

his next one, where the three meet again song lan

HES BLIND

hes still pretty much a petty grudge holding chaotic bastard little shit but with no murder or scheming

but his pay offs didnt end

yeeting patriarch with xxc and a-qing back, he still gotta pay off for what he did

ssyifpfff🌙 once he helps rebuild their souls they should b able to reincarnate too, n they can find each other u___u

29m 28 minutes ago xue yang: *reincarnates again* ayyy wassup song lan song lan: song lan: There We Go Again

wait i think people shouldn't have their past life memories right

yeeting patriarch BUT XUE YANG GETS THEM AS A PART OF HIS PUNISHMENT !?

xue yang in every reincarnation: ah shit here we go again

YES HE NEEDS TO AS PUNISHMENT

WHO PUNISHES HIM??? WE DO

ssyifpfff🌙 GET FUCKED XUE YANG LMAO

26m 25 minutes ago IFENSKSITNESOZFWJKSHS

yeeting patriarch xue yang we love u but u DESERVE

BITCHES GET STITCHES

in one of his reincarnations he trusts some1 n they betray him by killing him

in another one he is born into a loving family but they all get murdered

ssyifpfff🌙 dam thts a lot of years of damage if hes gonna rmmbr them all lmao

23m 22 minutes ago ssyifpfff🌙

22m 21 minutes ago IGEBEKIDTVEKSOZGBSLSUGWKS

It's What He Deserves

it's all for him to Learn

yeeting patriarch learn to accept his punishment, learn about the wrongdoings he did...

ssyifpfff🌙 learn to love back u_u and to accept kindness

20m 19 minutes ago learn to forgive n move on

"i have nvr in my life yelled at a girl like this. whn my mama yell at me its bc she love me. i was rooting for u we were all rooting for u hOW D

ssyifpfff🌙 LEARN FROM THIS"

19m 18 minutes ago the reincarnation he finally meets xiao xingchen again and a-qing he holds grudges like a normal person. and it's just ur average tsundere

yeeting patriarch we cannot wipe out completely the chaotic bastard essence he has

ssyifpfff🌙 DO THEY RECOGNIZE HIM???

18m 17 minutes ago OH MY GOD

yeeting patriarch DO THEY

mayb its like those AUs where they DONT exactly but

they Know theres some1 in there they met once

theres a familiarity

ssyifpfff🌙 he Knows its them tho

17m 16 minutes ago yeeting patriarch it would be Too Cruel for xiao xingchen to remember him...

TRUUUU

GASP Maybe to help xxc n a-qins soul he has to give up his own

ssyifpfff🌙 i mean, give his life

16m 15 minutes ago so they only get that Familiarity Vibe

maybe some fragmented dreams

yeeting patriarch FUKC

ssyifpfff🌙 YESSSS DREAMS

15m 15 minutes ago then, after he gives his own life to help xxc and a-qings souls

the next reincarnation

where the three are all born again

yeeting patriarch he Finally doesnt remember all his past lives

THEY JUST FEEL FAMILIAR TO EACH OTHER

ssyifpfff🌙 Y A S

14m 7 minutes ago there is still stuff for him to go through

he finally paid off most of his punishment

yeeting patriarch THE STRINGS OF FATE BRING THEM TOGETHER

ssyifpfff🌙 oooOOOOOOOH

13m 6 minutes ago yeeting patriarch im so sorry for song lan tho boi deserves his Rest & Fresh New Reincarnation too :(

maybe this time he has to Work to be loved. whn he met xxc he was just accepted w/o question. this time he needs to earn love

yea............. idk how it would work w a fierce corpse

guess he would have to Perish first

oH MAYBE

bc theres 2 souls to heal (xxc and a-qin) there needs to be 2 sacrifices

ssyifpfff🌙 thus song lan needs to Perish n then he can re enter the reincarnation circle

11m 4 minutes ago yeeting patriarch I NEED TO COPY, PASTE & EDIT THIS WHOLE CONVO. WE CANNOT LET THIS AU BE LOST IN OUR DMS

DO IT NYARI SAFE GUARD IT

ssyifpfff🌙 N USE IT TO CONVERT PPL INTO XUE YANG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AU

9m 2 minutes ago WE ARE AT IT AGAIN BEING DOGS

GODS******

yeeting patriarch quite literally being gods and doing what we want with the characters fates

DOGS

the only dog here is xue yang lmao

ssyifpfff🌙 if we dont, whos gonna do it????

4m 6 seconds ago OH ALSO

in all those punishing reincarnations, xue yang has quite a short lifespan

yeeting patriarch he never lives up his 30s

he has to die at more or less the same age as in his first go

so yea not to his 30s

ssyifpfff🌙 "he has to die" lmao sorry boi.............

3m 4 seconds ago how old was xue yang again

hes quite young right

yeeting patriarch on his 20s

ssyifpfff🌙 :/ im not sure

2m yeeting patriarch let's make it up he wont reach the 30s and it's ok

YEA LMAO

tbh idk the ages of any of the characters

only jin ling

ssyifpfff🌙 n sizhui

57s yeeting patriarch going thru the 20s only so many times is some punishment ksjdhgfshdj

LMAO TBH

WE RLY MAKING HIM GO THRU HIS TEENAGE YEARS N THN HIS 20S N THTS IT

ssyifpfff🌙 thts the cruelest thing we ever done

OH

yknow The Final Reincarnation

xxc, song lan and a-qing have this sense xue yang is Familiar

xue yang does as well

but hes the only one who gets the most fragmented dreams

the others get fragmented blurred light memories in dreams

this makes them Question xue yang

and thus this time he has to Work to have their affection

mostly xxc's, ofc

with song lan and a-qing it'll be a bit of a cat and dog frenemies thingy

yeeting patriarch (xue yang as the cat, ofc)

frenemies is all he has lmao + xxc

song lan.......................................... he wont rmmbr righgt¿

asdfghjfhg the fragments he gets are gonna be abt him n xxc too

ssyifpfff🌙 thts gonna Hurt

1m 10 seconds ago YESSSSSSSSSSS

all of them are Clean of Full Past Memories

yeeting patriarch but FATE will bring them all together (modern setting au)

song lan we will find u love this time around

10m 50 seconds ago xxc, song lan and a-qing will all get all the good stuff

only xue yang will still go thru some Missions

well.

if we will have poly xxc with song lan and xue yang

song lan will get some Punishment by default GSDHJFOISU9DYFGHJDS

it's okay, xue yang will be 69x times better this life around, so

he will only have to up with xue yangs dramatic ass in the name of love for xxc

yeeting patriarch i mean back then he did leave xxc and only came back yeeeaaars later in Regret

ssyifpfff🌙 ACTUALLY UR RIGHT HE MESSED UP TOO

6m yeeting patriarch enduring an updated and polished xue yang is OK

ssyifpfff🌙 bsides ..... whn they work together to bring xxc n a-qins soul back they're gonna start getting along a bit more

5m yeeting patriarch YES

ssyifpfff🌙 xue yang will have gone thru development by tht point

5m yeeting patriarch he will witness the path of xue yangs reincarnations

OMG IMAGINE THEM HAVING TO GO ON ADVENTURES TOGETHER FOR XXC

OMG SONG LAN THE SILENT WATCHER OF XUE YANGS STRUGGLES

ssyifpfff🌙 MAYHAPS HE MIGHT EVEN COME TO FEEL FOR HIM

4m by the time they all reincarnate, his sense of familiarity will be Different from xxc + a-qings

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HOLY FUKC YESSSS NYAURORA YES

we did it, we made this amazing poly fucking work

WHAT ABOUT

THIS FINAL REINCARNATION

they kinda get those Family Vibes

a-qing comes a bit later on

yeeting patriarch 2 and a half dads and their daughter

ssyifpfff🌙 2 AND A HALF DADS ASDFGHGHKLJFA

2m yeeting patriarch (and a half because even so much reincarnations, xue yang isnt a proper dad)

hes like a k00l uncle

ssyifpfff🌙 a bit of a bad incluence uncle

2m yeeting patriarch actually this does song like a father to me

ssyifpfff🌙 but tbh if not for his bastardy, xue yang n a-qing would get along so well

1m the fuck up

SOUND*

LIKE

since he will have to earn for a-qings affection

the start will be rough

but later on, theyll be the Chaotic Duo

yeeting patriarch since this time around our xue yang is updated and polished to be the bastard on the right level

IMAGINE

one day into a distant future

all four together

yeeting patriarch with peace, happiness and warmth

ssyifpfff🌙 listenin to mcr?

3m and then

all of sudden

tears start falling from xue yangs eyes

yeeting patriarch hes all ???? about it

ssyifpfff🌙 NYARI

2m yeeting patriarch and the other three are just as shocked

ASDFGHJHG DONT

HES SO HAPPY

THIS TIME AROUND HES HAPPY FINALLY

ssyifpfff🌙 CENTURIES OF HURT

1m yeeting patriarch he doesnt understand why he got so overwhelmed

ssyifpfff🌙 OF HARD WORK TO BE BETTER

1m he cant make the tears stop

xxc gets super worried asking where it hurts

but... nothing hurts

yeeting patriarch THEN HE CRIES HARDER

ssyifpfff🌙 n thts whats making him cry!!! nothing hurts finally n hes glad!!

26s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch NOTHING FUCKINF HURTS NYASSHOLE. THIS IS HAPPINESS

ssyifpfff🌙 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

19s 3 seconds ago yeeting patriarch HOLY SHIT WE DID DONE THAT

the first few reincarnations and how hard it was for xue yang

the stages of grief but thru his many reincarnations

with the last one, before the Modern Setting

him breaking down in front of song lan

finally it all hit him and he gets it

when they manage to sacrifice their souls for xiao xingchen and a-qing's, he even wishes to not be reincarnated again so they can be At Peace without him

yeeting patriarch their lives*

OMG XUE YANG WISHING HE JUST REMAINS DEAD. NOW THT HE HAS FINALLY GOTTEN XXCS SOUL THE LAST TEST IS AN ACT OF REAL SELFLESSNESS.

ssyifpfff🌙 its would b so good?? bc whn he first get introduced to xy his motivation as a character is to get xxcs soul so he can use it for his own good

42m 41 minutes ago n at the end he would GIVE his soul for xxc, for THEIR own good

ssyifpfff🌙 did we just invent character development?

42m 41 minutes ago yeeting patriarch WE MF DID DONE IT AGAIN

ssyifpfff🌙 also purple420 lmao

41m 40 minutes ago yeeting patriarch he Finally embraces all the grief he felt when xxc died

ssyifpfff🌙 HE RECOGNIZES IT AS GRIEF!! BC BFORE HE JUST FELT ANGER AT XXC OF ALL THINGS

41m 40 minutes ago back then, the emotional constipation got in the way and he fucked up

but after so many punishing reincarnations, he finally came to take it all in and Understand

imagine him breaking down so many nights begging to xxc to forgive him in a desperate prayer

and song lan then one day witness it

yeeting patriarch fukc the road with song lan was also such a hard one

song lan seein xy chara development from afar is the best idea weve had in a long time nyari

ssyifpfff🌙 we did that

38m 37 minutes ago in the first few... idk, 10 reincarnations, song lan was so angry. 'why does he keep coming back? why does he have his memories?'

yeeting patriarch fates would always put song lan in xue yangs path

ssyifpfff🌙 Fate (us)

36m 35 minutes ago yeeting patriarch how Dolce it is to imagine xue yang finally taking in grief and regret and it all and breaking down... *kisses fingers like a chief*

by that last time, song lan and xue yang sacrificed their lives, even song lan was already suffering seeing the punishments of all xue yang's reincarnations

he witnessed all of them

yeeting patriarch and saw with his own eyes, ops! with xiao xingchen's eyes, nyeheh. how much xue yang learned and changed

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi, this isn't a question about being LGBTA+, but I'm not sure who else to ask. I'm struggling with my faith a lot. I have a lot of health issues & autism so going to church is extremely difficult, and I literally don't do it anymore. Attempts of going to a youth group failed due to extreme social anxiety, and I never read my bible because I don't get the motivation for some reason. I do pray, but probably not as often as I should, and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. Along with that (1/4)

(2/4) Along with that, I’m struggling with my understanding of who God is. I’ve always been told that God is all-loving, that He cares about everyone and is perfect etc., but if that’s true, why is the bible against (or appears to be against) so many things, like homosexuality? And why is there hell? Hell is the one troubling me the most, tbh, because I’ve come to accept that God isn’t in fact against gay people.

(¾) I just don’t understand why God would punish innocent people via torture for all eternity for simply not believing in Jesus. There are people who have done incredible, wonderful things, but because they believe in a different religion, they’re condemned to hell? It goes against all of my morals, all of my beliefs, and everything I thought I knew about God.

(4/4) Thinking about all of those innocent people suffering forever, with no chance of escaping, literally makes me cry. And it’s effecting my relationship with God, and my faith. Please help in any way you can.

Hey there, anon. I’m with you in feeling a lot of these things. First of all, know that it’s okay that you are struggling with these things. It might take a long while for you to ponder through all this – be patient with yourself, and with God if you can. God is with you, God loves you, no matter how you’re feeling.

In your circumstances, I’m positive God understands why you can’t make it to church. (Also, fellow autistic high five!) While I believe that church is a vital aspect of faith life -- because God calls us to be in community -- you aren’t “bad” for not going to church, and there are many ways church can look. You might look into finding a service online to watch, or listening to a sermon or a podcast.

I have plans of starting to post a sermon every Sunday, and possibly some liturgy too, so that folks who can’t make it to church can share in the sermon and prayer together at home! So keep an eye out for more info on that. 

Since youth group sounds like a no-go, do you have any friends or relatives who are Christian (or, if no, of another faith) whom you could ask to join a “community” with you? Faith communities don’t have to be big -- Jesus promises that where two or more are gathered, there he is. Every week or month, you and another person/a few people could get together (online or offline) to pray and worship, maybe to share a meal, to read the Bible or discuss a faith topic. 

God is always willing to meet us where we are. It’s okay if you feel you should be praying more, you can work up to that -- as to praying “right,” the good news is there is no right way to pray. See this post, and other posts under the “faith and prayer” section of our FAQ, for more about that. 

Moving on to why the Bible “appears” to be against homosexuality if God is loving. That’s a good question. I know I definitely have problems with it, but for whatever reason, God chooses to interact with humanity primarily through other people. Thus, while we believe God’s Truth shines through the Bible -- that the Bible is, in Luther’s words, the cradle that holds Christ, rather than being the Word itself. See this quote for more. 

Because the Bible was written by human beings -- mostly or all men living in patriarchal societies -- it contains the ideologies of human beings, including sexism and heteronormativity. So just because the Bible can be used to justify homophobia, does not mean God is against LGBT+ people or relationships. After all, we can also find God’s affirmation in the Bible! I recommend looking at the “But what does the Bible say?” section of our resources page, and also at our rebuttals tag.  

To your last point -- about Hell. I also have a lot of trouble with Hell. The common concept of Hell today is pretty against whatever hell really is -- if it is “real” at all! I’m still working out what I think about hell, but it is definitely not a place God sends people to “punish” or torture them. Jesus came to save us all, to lift us all up with him -- if anyone ends up in hell, it is by their choosing rather than God’s. C.S. Lewis explains this by saying that the door to hell is locked from the inside -- by people who can’t stand the thought of being reconciled with God. Hell is not a punishment, but if it exists it is a “place” where one experiences the absence of God, which would be agony I think.

This post has a lot more about Hell, including common misconceptions and some more quotes. You could also look through our whole hell tag. 

I hope this helps you at least a bit, anon. Take your time reading through this stuff, and again, be patient as you absorb it. And if you have more questions, feel free to ask us. Peace

[not-poignant]

ANONK (this is LONG) Hey! I very much have a huge crush on you, and each time you have a shitty time I blubber up, I can't help myself. I mean, your works pulled me through so many bad times, and were so helpful to tell myself I could let go of the guilt; and they're going to pull me through so many more. I empathise with all your characters, because you're just so good at characterizing, but I empathise most with characters like Gwyn, or Jack, or Cullen...

(Cont:) Because I feel all these nasty feels they feel. The hunger. The fear. The loneliness. The emptiness. The guilt. The self hatred. The good things too... But when you've been raised in a Christian tinted patriarchal oppressive environment, you're not allowed the comfort of liking what you like, of allowing yourself the good things, at least without shame. What you write is an enormous relief.

It's a balm on badly healed wounds. You gave me the courage to stand up to myself and say- stop! I've had enough bullshit. I could never be my parent's starchild, and it's okay. I like pain, and that's okay, that doesn't mean I'm a weak failure. I'm a mess, and that's okay; because in the end I still pull through the day. If I feel down, I think; time for some Pia, and I devour avidly your writing, all the angst actually feels like fucking ambrosia, and I feel so fucking happy I cry. Tbh, I read the Salverse like two or three times, same with the Fae tales. And then I always end up discovering there's actually more, and I croon! I'm onto Puzzle now.You're my number four favourite writer of all times. And my number 1 when it comes to how much I have responded to a work. I seriously get high on it. (And I do read a pretty fucking lot). Frankly, I'd kiss the friend who recommended me to read your stuff, because I was hooked right in.

*

Oh my goodness, these messages.

Firstly, thank you so very much (I suspect that will be my lastly as well), and now the rest under a read more :D

The way you describe angst / hurt-comfort affecting you is similarly why I write it. I’m sometimes still shocked when I discover that readers are genuinely devastated (in like a long-lasting ‘depression’ way) by some of the things I write, or that it brings them down, because for me, reading and writing this stuff can almost be downright euphoric.

It’s also so specific, idk why, but not all angst counts, not all dark stories (or even most) will do this for me, which is one of the reasons I sink so much time into writing my style instead of reading what other people write. And it just means so much to hear that you’re getting something like that out of it too? That happiness, that....idk, sense of freedom almost? I’m also really glad that it - among other things - has helped you to learn how to accept truths about yourself, and those truths having nothing to do with being bad or wrong or any of those things. You might not be your parent’s starchild, but you can be your own.

And hey, a high five for all of us being messes and that being okay. There’s a Taoist philosophy I’m a big believer in, that I’ve been using a lot over the last few days. It’s not really a philosophy so much as a series of words connected to Taoism, which goes: ‘Everything is as it should be. In this moment, everything is as it is, and that’s okay.’ Even when things are patently not okay. Even when there is much to fight back against. The point of it is... the make peace with the moment, and in the process of doing that, be able to exist in it as a complete mess, and love yourself and the world for it anyway.

It’s hard, and it’s not for everyone, but that’s been so integral to me getting through this stuff. If saying to myself ‘everything is as it should be, and that’s okay’ gets me through the next few seconds, then I’ll say it, until it gets me to a point where I can functionally think about other things again. 

So yeah, I’m very much into self-acceptance in general, even as I’m terrible at it. I’m certainly into narrating it through my characters, in a way that hopefully lets myself and others understand it a bit better, see those complex, strange concepts come through in more than just ‘cognitive behavioural therapy’ and a handful of affirmations, not that those things are bad, I’m just...a believer in how stories can heal, or be healing.

Lastly, thank you so much (see, I knew it would be my lastly). Just, thank you for taking the time to write this, for being so earnest, and just dsljafasd everything. I’m definitely going to keep trying to heal myself via writing over the next few weeks/months, to get through this, and hopefully that continues to give something to others too. And in the meantime, yeah, you rock anon.

[professorjjong]

 me rambling about mdzs (the novel) bc it’s literally six am my body woke me up at 4 am for the sole purpose of finishing it and i finished it and then started reading the post script but it was like my heart was wylie coyote it wasn’t until a few minutes after i’d finished it that i realized i was destroyed

good book

sdkfjesiofhdcklwjfioe ok wei wuxian carries like the first fourth of the book. there’s so many fucking characters and names like wtf was going on. it wasn’t made clear what wei wuxian was doing or why--and tbh i don’t think it ever really is, his intentions. like, where was he planning to go after mo village? what was he planning on doing? when he leaves cloud recesses with lan wangji, why does he stay with him at all--why not just run the fuck off? he didn’t know, at this point, that lan wangji knew who he was so why would he risk it? the one thing that was made clear about wei wuxian’s intentions after he had been brought back to life were that he did not want to be recognized, so why would he stick around with lwj? 

for that first fourth, wei wuxian didn’t hesitate in where he was going or why or whatever he was just, going and doing things for no good reason and i didn’t know why and it was frustrating, following around a character who doesn’t seem to have any idea what he wants and also doesn’t even hesitate to think about it. but ugghhh he’s such an interesting character. his past, only teased, seemed super interesting and had created a man who interacted with his surroundings in a comedic and almost flippant way. it made the fantasy elements, buttload of information about cultivation and its sects and enemies as well as the sheer number of characters less intimidating--yes, because it probably wasn’t until almost halfway through that I was able to figure everything out, but i had wwx to hold onto. he’s a suuuuper strong character and was so, so fun to read about i miss him :( 

lwj truly didn’t do anything for me until near the very end when the events following the siege at the nightless city were revealed. i didn’t dislike him as a character, i thought he was fine--but i didn’t think he was as good of a foil to wwx as he could have been. i mean, they’re clearly meant to be foils--one is dressed in black and the other in white. u don’t even need to know anything else aside from that information to know that they’re foils. but i don’t think lwj was a strong enough presence to really “oppose” wwx for most of the novel. honestly, he didn’t even feel present for the first, what, 3/4? it wasn’t until wwx really started developing and even acting out on his feelings that lwj stepped into prominence. the emphasis of the novel, its focus, had shifted along with wwx’s toward lwj. compared to wwx, lwj is almost colorless as a character. yes hahahahahahha more color differences between them but i think, in order for characters to really function as foils, they need to be on equal footing, if only in the framing of the novel. but they weren’t. even during the flashbacks, there was an unevenness to it. at times, lwj felt almost like an afterthought. i remember myself thinking, ‘oh, lwj is there too.’ which yeah, he is quiet, but he’s there. his presence was not always made clear, and, since wwx is such a bright beacon and such an overwhelming chaotic presence, don’t you think lwj should have been a bigger presence to properly be his foil? it’s not until the very end, truly, that the two of them are able to bounce off of each other in a very fun and dynamic way--but, again, the veryyyyyy end. like, the last two chapters very end. 

aside from the plot hole i brought up in the first paragraph, there are some others, big and small. won’t bother to list them--but, and i mean maybe it’s in the additional chapters that i haven’t read yet, super upset we didn’t get to see the actual siege on burial mound. that moment would have been so fucking tense and cool and also would have just answered questions--like, was he killed as a backlash of his own power or was it jiang cheng or someone else who delivered the final blow? wtf was he thinking about as it was happening??? pls?? pls??? i want to know???

ok wait i do need to bring this up like WTF i cannot believe they did not explain wtf happend when wwx was on burial mound for three months and where the fuckkkkkkkkkkkk he learned about the dark magic. there was some throwaway line about a book and i’m just?? u expect me to believe there was jsut some crazy ass book like sitting on a tree stump among a bunch of dead-ass bodies, just waiting for someone to find it? Like seriously?? seriously?? even if there was such a fucking book who the fuck wrote it and why did they put it on the mountain and why did wwx decide that he needed to reclaim his power through it? why did he decide to use music, like the lan sect? why a flute? i have so many fucking questions!! AUTHOR!! AUTHOR!!!! PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK!!! 

also ok this isn’t a “plot hole” but a... theme... hole. a theme hole. i don’t fucking know but the book does a really good job throughout of bringing up mob mentality and other social behaviors when someone becomes the “enemy” of the group. they do this first with wwx and painstakingly set up how much of it is fabrications or exaggerations or bandwagoning, etc. and even why this happened--the people were still hurt by what had happened with the wen sect and, fearful of another force building up its power, it was easy for them to focus their animosity on wwx (the fact that it was him and the remaining wen clan didn’t help either, obvs). so, we’re sympathetic toward wwx because, not only have we been following him for the first half of this novel (by the time we go far enough into the past to learn about what happened when and after he became the yiling patriarch) and because we know his true intentions are pure. he’s a good guy at the end of the day. yeah he did some really, really bad shit during the war and was using a “twisted” ability, but he was trying to help people (also this book clearly has the message that revenge =  good which is,, interesting? i have certainly never read a book before that justifies revenge. usually, the morale is that revenge is never quite nice. see the count of monte cristo (the book, obviously). so, in the moral universe set up in this book, wasn’t wwx totally justified in his actions, however terrible, against the wen sect bc they destroyed the jiang sect? not saying i think that way, just that i think the story expects us to think that way). so, our set up to rumors and badmouthing by people is that it’s wrong, right? and that the other person doesn’t deserve it, no matter what they may have done? it just leads to more and more lies and should be stopped, right? we didn’t like it happening to wwx, who was also frustrated by it both in flashbacks and in the present, so, when it happens to the villain..... it’s okay? our protagonists dont’ have to rise up to defend him, even if he did do wrong? wwx just thinks ‘well, at leeas they weren’t this shitty to me’ and that’s fuckKING IT?? REALLY??

like this is the second ot last scene of the entire fucking story and that’s the fucking note it ends on? there’s nothing else?? no other perspective on responding to mob mentality that we’re going to get?? didn’t wwx die bc of mob mentality and, rather than trying to clean up his perception, he just maintained his behavior and quietly accepted being called evil???? doesn’t that mean it’s bad??? but they just?? let it happen??? again???  that’s the note?? author??? author??? is it all ok that people talk this way even when it leads to people getting killed??? author??? author?????????????? 

i think i got enough of my feelings out now to go read the additional chapters. peace