closeness and proximity part.4
pairing: ghost x f!reader
synopsis: callsign is sunshine, because you're anything but. team 141 thought ghost was bad? at least they could crack a smile out of the guy from time to time, you? you were stone faced, all day, every day. until one day you're not, not with a certain someone anyway.
warnings: inaccurate military language and sequences, mega angst, allusions to mental illness (reader has sociopathic tendencies) you get the gist. violence, death (not simon or the mc), sad ghosty because yes. This is gonna be a longer one I think, lot's of gore, lots of torture, be wary of that, not for the faint hearted. Guys, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE GORE, PLEASE. Also, reminder that again, mc is not a good person, not at all, she's devoted to her job and will do ANYTHING to succeed, keep that in mind. Hey you get to see simon close to tears!!!
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT:
word count: 3.5k
She awoke with a scowl, the vomit from last night leaving a vile taste on her tongue. She brushed her teeth, gargled mouth wash, and opted to skip out on breakfast.
As if her stomach could handle that after last night.
She hated herself for letting her teammate see her so weak, even going so far as to cry in front of him and confess feelings she couldn't comprehend herself. But now wasn't the time to dwell, she had a mission, and to carry it out she resorted to autopilot, her best friend for years.
Simon opened his eyes to the sound of her getting ready, the cocks of her gun as she checked it twice over to ensure nothing would go wrong when she needed it.
"Mornin' sunshine." He grunted out, his voice deep and raspy with sleep as he sluggishly stood up.
"Ghost." His eyes flickered to her, and the woman he knew was back. The cold, guarded version of her he'd managed to break through the night before had returned. He didn't press, knowing how important it was to get the job done right. He got ready himself as she stood by the cracked open door waiting for him patiently. He noticed how she kept her eyes cemented to the floor, not moving, rarely blinking, because if she looked at him, and he stared back with something that wasn't the look of a lieutenant or a soldier, she'd crack.
And she couldn't let that happen. Not now anyway.
Her ears tuned in to the sound of loud thuds hitting the floor. Her eyes flickered to the smoke entering the room shouts ringing out from another part of the house. She got a small whiff of the smell.
HCN, H2S, and PH3.
Knockdown gas.
They made eye contact, rushing to her bag and pulling out a gas mask, Simon following silently. The gas flooded the room, Y/N pressing her ear to the door, hearing nothing but silence in return. She waited for a moment before cracking open the door and taking a peek out, seeing the hallway flooded with the same smoke but no bodies.
"Couples hours before breakfast, most of em were still asleep." Simon told her quietly.
The one time these bloody fuckers decide to sleep in.
They made their way to the end of the hallway, checking the rooms along the way to see that they were empty. She looked around the corner, finding those very bodies on the floor, blood surrounding them as they trailed to the hallway on the other side of the kitchen. Her hand came up, halting him as she crouched down, pushing a metal ball from the back of her vest and into her palm.
"What's that?" He pressed, never having seen a device like that before.
"It's connected to my coms that picks up audio. Prototype from headquarters." His eyebrows shot up in surprise as she rolled it to the other hallway, and with a tap of her earpiece she could hear quiet voices from the other half of the house.
Clear. Alpha 0-5 move to the other side. Omega team will clear upstairs.
She took out her suppressed pistol instead, listening to the near silent thuds of footsteps going up the stairs.
"They're gonna come this way. I take them out, then we move to the front door."
"Copy that." She watched as two soldiers appeared from the other hallway. With two bullets to the head, one for each, she reloaded and approached the front door silently, taking a moment to grab her eavesdropper (what she calls it anyway) and move back to Simon. Gunshots rang out upstairs, Simon quick to grab her arm before she could clear the front for an exit.
"What about the rest of em?" He hated, no. Loathed, leaving teammates behind when he could do something to help. She stopped, sighing deeply. She had to make a choice, save the two of them, or risking the death of everyone trying to save the rest.
"They're out. By the time we get up there they'll be dead and we'll have to face the firing squad." She argued, disagreeing with the idea to play search and rescue.
"You don't know that." He shot back, narrowing his eyes at her.
"I'm not risking our lives. We have a mission to complete, and we can't do that if we have a bullet in our brains." They were both growing irritated. He thought she was being selfish for not wanting to even try to help her squad. She found him idiotic for not seeing that there wasn't a chance that they'd pull anyone out alive.
"I'm not leaving until we try." And he knew she wasn't leaving him on his own, she cared too much. He didn't mind using her feelings for him for his own gain in the moment. Right now he cared about his team, and when he moved to clear the house, she begrudgingly followed. They checked every body they came across for a pulse, finding none for the first few. It pissed her off in a variety of ways, the fact she was right and he wasn't letting up, and the fact that she didn't hear it sooner.
She blamed her herself. If she hadn't let herself deteriorate, she would've heard them come, she could've saved them. But she didn't, and she'd now have to remind herself of that every day for the rest of her life.
She moved to the front of him, taking initiative and peaking around the hallway. The gas had since cleared by the windows they opened, the traces left not being enough to knock anyone else out.
"Clear!" Ghost's heart sank. She was right. He heard her exhale slowly, her anger peaking as she waited for them all the walk out of the rooms and putting a bullet in their heads. All but two. She shot their hands, then their legs, moving through the hallway and yanking them both off the floor with one arm each.
"Sun-"
"Shut it Ghost. How the hell did you find us." He had never seen her so angry. Her tone was spiteful and full of hatred as she threw one his direction and directing her rage to the bigger guy.
"Fuck you." The man replied, smirking at her tauntingly. It was silent for a beat, and it would only get worse.
"Alright." With a quick movement his face smashed into her knee, letting his body drop as she began searching rooms with an order for Simon to keep an eye on them. She found rope, feeling the heaviness of it as she threw it on her shoulder and came back out.
"You can watch this time if you want. Maybe you can learn a few things." She grabbed the man by his vest and dragged him into the nearest room, Simon taking the other one with him.
"Put him in the chair and tie him up." She tossed some rope to him before tying her guy down to the bed. The chair the other one sat in was facing the bed, and there was this awful feeling that he couldn't shake. Everything told him to step outside, to not watch what she was going to do to them, but his need to know what she was truly capable of was just that much stronger.
"Kinky. I like it." He teased, though the sweat sliding down his temple was evidence enough that he was scared. She didn't reply, grabbing a knife, taking off her gear, and rolling up her sleeves.
"Call for evac." She ordered, waiting for him to finish with it before sitting next to him.
"Let's get started. How did you find us."
"I had a nice cup of tea with your mother before she-" He cried out in pain, squirming as she pressed her knife into his abdomen and cut a line down the middle. The ropes were too tight, too thick for him to rip off as he desperately pulled at them.
"This is how it's gonna work. Wrong answer, one organ he-" She jabbed her finger towards the guy sitting in the chair who had just been shouting at her to stop.
"Has to eat." Everyone's eyes blew out of the sockets at her words. She couldn't be serious, she was bluffing... right?
"You're full of shit." She snickered, burying the blade in his thigh, her eyes boring into his own.
"You just murdered my team. I promise you, the last thing I value this morning is morality. So, tell me what I want to know, or shit's gonna get ugly."
"Sunshine-" Simon's words never left the tip of his tongue. The glare that faced him was enough to cause him to step back and keep his mouth shut. He didn't move, didn't try to stop her.
"Let's continue shall we. How did you know that we were here."
"Go to hell-" She dug her knife back into him, and Ghost watched in fear as she cut out his spleen. No amount of hatred for the man was enough to get him to watch the process, he kept his eyes cemented to the floor, attempting to tune out his wails and cries. He watched her turn to the man in the chair who stared at her in terror as she held the bloody organ in her hands.
His hand grabbed her wrist.
"That's enough. We'll find a different-" Before he could finish she slammed his against the wall, her arm pressing hard against his trachea as the knife pointed inward to his jugular.
"Stay. Out. of my way. That's an order lieutenant." It was a reminder that she had operational command. She took notice of the betrayal, releasing him with a push against the wall. This is what she was, a monster, and part of her was glad he likely realized that by now so he'd stop trying. She didn't deserve his help, and it was better he put his time towards someone more worthy than someone like her. With one last look at him, she turned back to her victim.
"So, would you prefer i cut it into pieces for you? Or do you wanna be a champ and chew it yourself." Simon's stomach lurched, and it took everything in him not to leave the room, or to spill his dinner from the night before onto the floor.
"You should be thanking me, you're getting the breakfast my team didn't." The man from the bed sobbed and watched her cut a piece off, a second away from forcing it down his teammates throat before he broke.
"Alright I'll tell you!" He yelled, listening to her 'tch' and turn back to him, tossing his organ off to the side. She sat next to him on the bed, her eyes piercing into his soul.
"If you lie to me. I'll go for your dick next, and your buddy won't be the one eating it." The sheer horror in his eyes almost made her laugh, flipping the knife in her hands as she looked at him expectingly. Turns out he was a mole, hidden inside the operation and feeding intel back to his home country's base with the promise of a perfect life for himself, where he could live in a luxury that even some of the richest people couldn't buy.
She could understand if it were to save someone he loved, she might've spared him if that were the case. But for wealth, for greed, he was willing to murder, and she couldn't stand for that.
"He told you what you wanted to know!" The other man cried, watching as the life in his friend's eyes faded, the metal sinking into his heart.
"I'm doing you a favor. People like him, who trade lives for material wealth, are never good to keep around." She shrugged, pulling the knife out and leaving him there before moving back to him.
"Anything else you think I need to know? You're gonna die anyway." Her unbothered attitude made Ghost question whether she had feelings at all.
Was the person he met last night real? Was it a lie, a facade for some underlying goal he didn't know?
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The man sobbed, still struggling against his restraints in a feeble attempt to escape the inevitable. Her hand landed on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze in false comfort.
"People like your buddy. Ever heard of the Тюлень project." His eyes met hers and she snickered at his confusion.
"It means seal in Russian. They'd kidnap elite soldiers, most happening to be navy seals to brainwash them and sell them to ally countries through an underground black market system. Now a number of things occurred during the process." She rose back up, twisting the knife in her hands as she thought back to that time with a smile that held nothing behind it.
"But I think the most memorable part was when they'd castrate the men and sterilize the women. No meds either, awake for the whole thing." Simon's head snapped up to her, both of them in shock and terror.
"ECT was one thing, but god that was a whole other experience. But the wounds healed up nicely so I guess I can't complain." The humor behind her words fell on deaf ears. They couldn't tell if they should've felt sympathy or fear.
"Well whatever. I'll put you out of your misery now." She pulled out her pistol and within a second he was dead, the both watching as his body went slack and his head fell forward.
"Evac should be arriving soon-"
"Is it true?" He interrupted, staring at her.
"No I lied to the poor guy about getting my organs ripped out so he'd pass on peacefully. Of course it's fucking true."
"Watch the fuckin' attitude Y/N."
"What the hell is your problem now. Someone shove a stick up your ass when I wasn't looking." The next thing she knew she was slammed against the wall, suddenly the one in front the knife as it pressed against her neck, just as she did to him before. She took his emotions in, seeing his rage, the hurt from her treachery. She strained to adjust her neck to a more comfortable position, smirking up at him. She felt the sharpness of the blade dig into her skin a bit, the warm crimson dripping down her neck as she flashed her jugular to him.
"Do it Simon. I won't stop you. I can see the dying urge somewhere in there." The hairs on the back of his neck stood tall. She was right, a part of him wanted to. The part that felt threatened by her previous actions, that didn't trust her for a second as she flipped from person to person, cold and warm in fleeting moments. She watched him lower his knife, getting in her face, their noses almost touching through their masks.
"You're a sick, selfish bastard. You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself, you kill for yourself, you hurt everyone you meet. And I don't want something like that on my team."
Something. Not someone. She wasn't even a person to him now.
"You'll be off Task Force 141 by the morning, you hear me?" She swallowed thickly, nodding, only for his arm to push farther into her throat causing her to choke.
"Words soldier." He spat, the anger gleaming in his eyes. He could see the small traces of hurt and guilt in her eyes. But she knew it was only a matter of time, She was unlovable, and she was foolish to think she could have something she wanted.
"I'll be off Task Force 141 in the morning. I'll call HQ myself." She forced out. He searched her gaze for falsehood before reluctantly releasing her, facing away as she gasped for air, hunching over and taking deep breaths. She couldn't deny his strength, and it was evident with her short coughing fit.
They were silent as she put back on her gear, and he knew that was the last time he'd ever see Y/N, the woman he met last night, likely forever. He watched as she picked up her gun, her eyes empty and nonchalant.
"We need to head to the landing zone. You ready?" She kept a light tone that surprised him a bit. With a curt nod she approached the door, only for it to be kicked in as she jumped back in shock. The uniforms matched the ones from the men she killed, so she began taking shots, Simon following. But as more filed in, they quickly lost, both of them ending up on the floor with knees on their backs, their hands being tied up.
They were forced to comply, being pushed and shoved to a helicopter waiting outside for them. They had been gagged and stripped of their gear, sitting on the hard floor with guns pointing at them. Ghost tried to meet her eyes, nudging her foot to look at him for a silent meeting to make a plan, until the barrel pointing at him was suddenly digging into his skull, ordering him to stop in Russian.
Then they began to shout, people standing with their guns up and ready as the radar with the control up front beeped, a red blinker appearing to be approaching them from the back.
Evac followed.
The helicopter door opened with a machine gun pointing at them, only for them to scream as she kicked their knee in, sending them out of the chopper. The duo couldn't speak, but a silent confirmation was given as they got themselves up, fighting with their hands behind their back as the evac helicopter appear just below them. With the door still open she made eye contact with Price, her head gesturing down.
The aircraft lowered enough for them to jump in, and she went back to help out Ghost who she pushed in front of her before two men looped their arms around her. She spit out her gag after leaning over with them and trying to shake them off with vigor, but she wasn't strong enough, not after the several blows her body had already taken.
"Get your fucking hands off her!" Simon yelled out, having gotten the gag out of his mouth and seeing her restrained. She stepped back, causing him stutter for a moment in confusion as she told him to stop.
"I'm sorry." For everything, but she didn't have time for that last piece. Before he could help she jumped, her feet making hard contact with his chest, sending him out of danger and falling into evac who turned the chopper to let him fall in. She fell back onto the floor, her capturers' grips loosening and her head spinning as she crawled to the opening.
"We've got to get her out of there!" Simon yelled, only to be held back by Soap and Price. She felt hands wrap around her ankles before she looked back at her team.
"GO." She screamed as loudly as she could, knowing there was no way for her to get out alive either. John saw her for a moment, truly. He saw the girl he met 6 years ago. Her eyes were begging, pleading with him to save themselves, to save him, and leave her behind. He gave her nod, tearing his look away before wetness could pool in his eyes.
"No! Price! Don't you fucking dare!" His eyes burned involuntarily as he looked back at her, desperate to go back. Everything around him went quiet, slow, and he felt the air from his lung dissipate at her face. She smiled at him, a genuine smile.
It's gonna be okay. It told him.
The last person to look at him that way was his mother. When he was just a boy after he received a beating from his father. The look of care, reassurance, and tenderness she gave him as she cleaned the wounds on his body and face. That she'd save him, get him out of harm's way, and this time around, she did. He breathed heavily, every word he had said to her flooding back to his memory with guilt and regret.
Sick, selfish bastard. Those were his last words to her. The last thing he did was threaten her life and kick her off the team like trash. He almost threw up.
"Get us out of here!" Price shouted to the pilot who nodded, turning their aircraft around and heading back home. Simon struggled and yanked, but his body was weak for the beating he took in that house, and all he could do was watch as they parted for what may have been the last time.
Her breath was ragged and heavy as soldiers pulled her up by her arms, not nearly as gentle as they were the last time. The butt of their gun hit her face, and she felt her body sag, her eyes shutting as she lost consciousness. A part of her didn't mind too much, she got him out, she saved someone, finally. She did something right, something that wasn't for herself, and she let herself enjoy that as she slipped away.
She did it.
Yeaahhh. For reference HCN is hydrogen cyanide, H2S is hydrogen sulfide, and PH3 is phosphite (I'm not smart I googled knockdown gas). There's gonna be another part soon, because yes I'm excited. Anyway yeah. I hope you enjoyed this part!! The next part may be the second to last depending on what I come up with. If you wanna be part of the tag list let me know! Notes of any kind are appreciated and thank you for all of the support!!
@thaprilks @bowtruckleninja @almightywdm
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BL Coming in August
Here’s what’s starting this month. Which ones are you excited about? My top picks for me as The Eclipse and About Youth, let’s see how wrong I am.
THAILAND
War of Y
From COPY A BANGKOK (trailer)
20 eps (holy fucktard, 20 episodes of Cheewin’s nonsense), starts Aug 2 on AisPlay premium
On Cloud Nine
Country setting, atmospheric LTR flavored BL with themes of self acceptance from MindTrio (trailer).
6 eps, starts Aug 6 on Mind Trio’s YT channel
21 Days Theory
Friends to lovers, self acceptance, secret crush, high school set from Rookie Thailand (trailer). Looks high angst, messy, cheating, secret crush stars Bever (En of Love: TOSSARA, En of Love: Love Mechanics, The Best Story and Love Mechanics) and Tee Khunakorn (The Cupid Coach).
8 eps, starts Aug 7 on Rookie Thailand’s YT channel (I think)
The Eclipse
An enemies to lovers high school set, paladin bab boy pairing from GMMTV. This is right in their wheelhouse and was my most anticipated from GMMTV’s 2022 line up. Tropes include: sinister boarding school, haze the one you love, suspense & horror elements looks great, dark (but in a way Thailand can handle), kind of Blacklist-ish meets Great Men Academy. GMMTV excels at this kind of content. Stars First (The Shipper, Not Me) & Khaotung (Tonhon Chonlatee) side dish pair from FUTS NeoLouis. I actually really like this lead pair and I think they can handle the content. trailer
12 eps, starts Aug 12 on GMMTV’s Youtube channel
* I’m gonna point out an important thing. I find it notable that Khaotung as the aggressor/bad boy (for a change) in this GMMTV offering has his natural skin tone (aka darker) as opposed to when he’s playing a super uke role (see Tonhon Chonlatee). Now there could be mitigating factors (like the makeup people got better at matching base tones, or they were shooting outside a lot), but still Thailand’s propensity for associating negative/evil/poor/crazy characters with darker skin tones is so painful and so insidious I want everyone to notice this, especially when we see it being carried out on THE SAME actor by THE SAME production team.
And yes, Korea does this too.
My Only 12%
Friends to lovers, high school set, high angst, sunshine/sunshine pairing from Studio Wabi Sabi for iQIyI. (trailer) Neighbors and childhood friends, Cake & Seeiw, who have totally opposite personalities slowly growing apart. This one has the chemistry and the script so fingers crossed it’s not sad. Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) starring SantaEarth (7 Project).
Do we trust Studio Wabi Sabi or director New anymore? Even with SantaEarth (especially with SantaEarth). That is the question.
Aug 12, 15 eps on iQIYI
180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us
Coming to Gaga (trailer). Doesn’t look like BL: “Can a mother be more understanding of her son’s sensuality? Even if she does, will it be easy for her to accept his relationship with a man twice his age?”
? eps, starts Aug 15 on GaGa
Love in the Air
Enemies to Lovers, high school set from Me Mindy (trailer). Mame’s upcoming adaptation of her novels Love Storm and Love Sky, focuses on 2 couples and their individual storylines.
10 eps, starts Aug 18 on ?
Ghost Host, Ghost House is supposed to be coming too.
TAIWAN
Papa & Daddy 2 AKA Papa and Daddy Season 2
Gaga bringing us the second season (trailer). Starring Melvin Sia (Damian) and Chiu Mu Han (new actor as Jerry). Looks messy.
6 eps, starts Aug 8 (Taiwan's Father's Day) on GaGa
About Youth AKA I Secretly Fell in Love with Student Council President
Enemies to lovers, high school set for CHOCO TV to air on Bilibili (no trailer) from the producers of HIStory 2&3, and Tsai Mi Chieh the director of H1: Stay Away From Me; H2: Crossing the Line; H3: MODC; Love Is Science (we like her). Adapted from the novel Secretly by Huang Si Mi about high school boys with different backgrounds, personalities, and values who compete for student president, but have more attraction than animosity. The drama focuses on two storylines: egocentric elite student Ye Guang who fights in the council elections with a quiet guitarist Xu Qi Zhang, and his friend Ray who after a recent breakup up with his boyfriend meets A Jian.
10 eps, starts Aug 29 on Bilibili
JAPAN
Takara and Amagi AKA Takara-kun and Amagi-kun AKA Takara-kun to Amagi-kun
Opposites attract, secret love high school popular/geek pairing from MBS (no trailer). Same studio as Mr Unlucky and Senpai, so expect that style. A popular guy and an outcast boy start dating in secret. Stars Jpop Idols Arata Sato (IMPACTors) as Takara and Nao Oriyama (Shonen Ninja) as Amagi.
8 eps, starts Aug 18 on ?
Interesting that there isn’t anything from Korea and nothing new for Viki this month. Although give them a chance, they drop suddenly and later sometimes.
I don’t always know where to find these and remember your territory and accessibility may be different than mine. But drop a comment if you have more info.
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