#thank all of you guys so much for the likes and reboots it really means the world to me

[animelovelover123]

DMC Boys x Reader – Taking Your Virginity Headcanons

Parings: Dante, Reboot Dante, Vergil, Reboot Vergil, Nero, V x Reader

Synopsis/Author's Note: Headcanons for how the Devil May Cry boys would treat you if you were to offer them your first time.

Disclaimer: Some of these stories have moments that should not be replicated. Not all of these guys handle the situation the best and, if applied to real life, it can result in some hurt feelings, anger, and/or sadness. You all be safe, use your wits and gut feelings out there when you have your first time/give someone their first time.

Science Fact I Learned For This: A girl's hymen is NOT some wall/barrier that is broken through. It is a tissue that naturally has a hole in it big enough to let menstrual blood through. The whole idea of it hurting and/or bleeding the first time a girl has penetrative sex is because it may not be used to being stretched that far and can tear, not because it is punctured/broken through. There are, of course, exceptions to this but this is the general idea. Some people may have known this but in case you didn’t, you just learned something today like me! ^^

Dante

His reaction and treatment will change a bit depending on his age (aka what game time you are in) but many things will be consistent.

He always understands how much trust and courage it takes to give someone your first time and it means a lot to him that you want to choose him.

Whether he is in his late teens and gives you a shocked expression then a giddy smile as he says “Wait, really? Thanks! I’ll be sure to give you the time of your life.” or in his early 40s where he pauses for a moment to process before giving you a patient and gentle smile, saying “Of course, I’d be honoured to.”, he appreciates the gesture and does not take it for granted. Although, the older he is the more touched he is that you wanted to do this with him of all people.

This is not to say he isn’t going to make jokes and be silly about it. He takes the moment with all due respect, but he can’t help cracking jokes as that is just who he is. Secretly though, he is also trying to get you to lighten up about the idea. He knows how stressful losing your virginity can be, hell he went through it himself, and he hoped that by making light of it he could offer some levity to what he knows is going to inevitably be an awkward and uncomfortable time. If you can laugh at the mishaps instead of curling up and dying a bit inside, then his jokes have done their job.

Though not all of his jokes will land and may seem a bit insensitive at times, know that he is never laughing at you or mocking you, just trying to make you smile and relax.

When the night comes, he does what he can to make you feel secure. He locks all the doors and unplugs the phone to avoid interruptions. He offers you food and a bath before you start, and takes a shower himself. He makes preparations, like getting water, condoms, and lube, and lays them out so that you can see them and feel secure by their presence. And he will have a conversation with you beforehand.

If you try to fight the conversation, he will dip into his hardly ever used mature-adult mode.

“Hey now, no hiding from this babe.” Dante chuckles lightly as he gently pulls the pillow away from your face. “I know it’s embarrassing but we gotta talk about this, at least this first time, okay?”

He needs to make some things clear, define boundaries, and try to explain what to expect. He continues to throw in jokes to lighten the mood or will otherwise smile at you sympathetically, inwardly finding your bashfulness endearing.

He takes things nice and slow, verbally asking for consent and telling you what he intends to do so as to not catch you off guard.

He also takes into account what makes you feel secure. For example, do you feel better being covered by his body, whether he kneels over you or partially lays on you? Does the pressure and closeness calm you? Then he will do that. Or, alternatively, would that freak you out and make you feel trapped? If so then he will stay sitting up or lying beside you to give you space and so you see that you can escape if you want, not that he was holding you there, but it is an unconscious thing.

If your hymen does end up tearing it is not quite as panic-inducing as it could be thanks to Dante warning you beforehand that you might feel pain and that he stays calm, acting as an anchor while you settle from the sting.

He will stop. Not pulling out or pushing forward, just sit inside you and coddle you until you are ready. And if you have any questions like “What happened?”, “Am I going to be okay?”, and “Why does it hurt so much?”, he will patiently answer them with little to no jokes as he knows this is probably the most emotionally and physically intense part of a woman losing her virginity.

If at any point you panic and tell him that you want to stop, he will stop but not retreat. He will hold his position for a moment, let you breathe, and then ask how you are feeling. Do you really want to stop, because he will, or are you just anxious? After dating you for a while, he has gotten really damn good at knowing when you are overwhelmed and just need a break.

If you do truly want to stop though, or are generally not enjoying yourself, he will stop. He won't be upset or take it personally. He knows losing your v-card is a lot to handle and sometimes, no matter how sexy and skilled your partner may be, you may just not be into it. He can relate. He will even tell you of some of his sexual misadventures if he thinks it will make you laugh.

Either way, he will want to push aside any negative emotions you are feeling as soon as possible and bring back your smile. And maybe tomorrow you two can talk about what you didn’t like and how to make things better for you in the future.

He finds you and your flustered reactions adorable. He has done this dance quite a few times and some of the sweet intimacy feelings have faded over the years, but seeing you get bashful or excited warms his heart.

And when, if everything goes well, you do cum, Dante just wants to watch you flex, twist, moan, and enjoy your first orgasm.

He isn’t picky about whether he finishes this first time around or not. He will try of course so you can feel the full extent of his desire for you. But if you are completely tuckered out, he can settle without, and maybe even make a joke about it.

As you drift down from your high Dante lays beside you with an at-peace smile, playing with your hair, basking in your happiness.

Once you are down on earth again though he is back to his talkative self. Mostly making jokes and asking if you’re hungry.

“How about we order pizza, turn on some trash TV, and cuddle the night away.”

He does not ask how he did as your clear pleasure was plenty enough for him to know he was treating you well. If you do take the time to praise or thank him though, you’ll get to see a softer version of his proud smile paired with a rare blush as he thanks you in return.

Reboot Dante

It depends if you are a random person he met at a club or his partner.

If you are random and you tell him you have never had sex before, he will want to back out. Not because he finds that gross or a turn-off, it’s more so that he himself regrets how he had his first time and doesn’t want someone else’s to be like this.

Dante probably had his first sexual experience far younger than he should have, like 13-14 yours old, with an older woman, out of a desire to act older than he actually was, his street kid lifestyle, and fuck-authority mindset. As an adult, and as he gains more stable and healthy relationships through Kat and Vergil, he is starting to realize how that negatively affects him.

He does not fully understand how it messed with him, he isn’t emotionally mature enough for that yet, but he does know that he doesn’t really want to ruin someone else’s first time if he can help it.

He can’t really articulate this though, still too attached to some toxic masculine pride traits and the aforementioned lack of emotional maturity, so he will say some things like “You sure? Don’t you want to pop your cherry with someone you love or some shit like that?”

If you are his partner, he will think the same thing but probably won’t say it out loud.

Either way, he is going to have a tough time. He knows he should be slower, gentler, and comforting but that’s not really his style, so he is out of his element.

If he has advance warning, as in you are his partner and told him at some point that you were a virgin, and the time grows close, he will awkwardly go to Kat for advice. And, if he really loved you (and he was a bit drunk), he may just work up the nerve to ask his brother how to be a gentleman for you.

No matter what though, he is kind of awkward about it.

He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it because that is stupid, cheesy, and would put more pressure on you both to perform well. This helps in the beginning, making it so the lead-up of kisses, gropes, and rubbings are casual and playful.

As soon as you start to grow nervous and hesitant though, the switch is flipped and Dante is not the same. He will do his damnedest to keep up the cool and confident aura on the outside, but the nerves on the inside will leak out eventually.

He spends the whole time flipping between holding himself back, worrying about how he is doing, and agitation. He is so strung up that he honestly cannot really enjoy it, especially not in a sexually satisfying way. But he at least understands that this is not about him or his pleasure.

This first time, and probably the next handful of goes, it is about you. That does not stop him from jerking off later to get it out of his system and to make sure he doesn’t lose control on you.

He does, however, gain some satisfaction if you are able to enjoy yourself. Even if he is not able to be sexually gratified due to preferring rougher sex and not being able to have that with you this first time, to see you cum and be overall pleased by the end makes it worth all the struggle he went through.

On the other hand, if you are dissatisfied or request to stop in the middle, he is upset. He isn’t angry with you, he is angry at himself for fucking up so bad, though he can’t communicate this properly in the moment so it may come off badly.

If things go that wrong, he may just want to split up for the night.

If you are someone he just met that night at a club, he will send you home. He won’t be a total ass and just kick you out. He will at least walk you home or somewhere where you can make the rest of the trip yourself/with friends safely, but he can’t stand the awkwardness and emotions of having you stay the night after that.

If you are his partner, he will suggest that he just leave, even if you are at his place/in his room. You can convince him to stay, though he doesn’t have the heart to simply cuddle after he, as far as he is concerned, ruined things, so you would have to do something else like watch a movie to get your minds off of it.

If applicable, you can try to assure him all you want that he did nothing wrong and it was your own nerves/insecurities, and Dante may say he understands, but it is easy to tell that he 100% blames himself.

This guilt is even worse if your hymen ends up tearing because holly shit. He knows it can happen to some women, but he is not properly educated on this stuff and he has never seen it. To him, a bit of blood, even during sex, was not unheard of and never really bothered him. But if you start to cry, scream, and/or panic, he freaks out. He pulls out of you right away and starts asking what's wrong, even if somewhere in his racing mind he knows what is wrong. You can convince him to continue but he is rattled after that.

Post sex, assuming everything went well, he will be on edge. He is used to long nights of multiple rounds of foreplay and sex, sometimes with multiple people. So, going just one round, which possibly didn’t bring him to orgasm, at least not a fully satisfying one, left him with a lot of pent-up energy.

Depending on how wound up he is, he may try to gently encourage you to keep going by lavishing your neck in kisses, licks, and little bites, and grinding against you. But if you make it clear that you are done, he will back off.

He will cuddle you until you fall asleep, then probably slip off to a shower to finish himself. He will come back though and fall asleep wrapped around you, finding himself oddly satisfied. Not sexually satisfied, nor satisfied in the idea that he got to take a virgin. Instead, it was a satisfaction in making you happy for your first time, something he secretly wishes he was with his own, and you having chosen to share it with him.

Vergil

Vergil is maybe not be the best pick to have your first time with. He is proud, straightforward, and is also lacking in tact. This can make him come off as cold, unsympathetic, or even cruel.

He does care about you and does not want to hurt you, physically or emotionally, but he can’t communicate this well and his usual way of telling people there is no need to worry is by asserting that they are foolish and are wasting their breath on needless indecision.

This is first seen when you let slip that you are a virgin. He blatantly asks why you are telling him this.

“I care for you; you care for me. At some point we may consummate our bond through physical means. What does it matter how much experience either of us have in such things?”

If he were to articulate his thoughts and feelings better, he would further explain that he does not see sex as anything that special or as a requirement in a relationship. It is simply another, more primal and physically gratifying, way to express affection and trust. And to eventually create spawn but that comes further down the line.

He may need to have someone, whether it be you or his brother or even a mutual acquaintance like Lady, explain to him how emotionally taxing it can be for someone to have their first time. He will take note of it and be more conscious of your possibly complicated emotions on this, but his actions won’t really change.

He does not press you for it; he just waits until the moment feels right and then whisks you away to his bedroom.

If you show hesitation, he will push you to make up your mind. Again, he is not intending to make you feel pressured or like he does not care. He wants you to make a decision and follow through with it.

Do you want to stop here? Then say so clearly so you both do not waste time fanning the flames of passion just to snuff them out at their hottest moment and regret it after.

Do you want this now? Do you want him now? Then take him. Don’t concern yourself with the trivial restrictions of human societal limitation or personal doubt on how one of your gender, situation, or age should act. Grab hold of the moment by the reins, charge forward, and take what you both desire.

Vergil is not overly gentle with you, even if it is your first time. What point is there in treating you like you are made of glass when it will not properly prepare you for truly passionate lovemaking?

Besides, considering he has inhuman speed and power, can transform into a demon, and has an innate desire to breed, he is showing restraint.

If you start to panic and ask him to wait, that it’s too much, slow down, or something to that extent he will scoff. He’ll assert that you are fine and that there is no need to worry. Despite his verbal dismissal, he will stop or slow down as you requested and give you space to adjust.

If he does end up tearing your hymen, he is considerate enough to stop for a moment but will soon get back into it. In his mind, if you dwell on the pain it will only make it worse.

Besides, he believes you to be an intelligent woman so you should be well aware of what dangers lie in being penetrated for the first time. If you don’t, well you are more naïve than he thought.

Similarly to before though, despite what he says he will indeed halt his movements if you believe it would be better or you fall into distress. And while you come to terms with the pain, he reassures you of your strength in ways that may seem a bit harsh, but he means it to be motivating.

“This hurdle is nothing you can’t handle.”

“Do not falter at this small inconvenience.”

“This pain you feel is nothing in comparison to what you have conquered before.”

And when you do push past this, his lips quirk up into a proud smile. He does not praise you out loud though. Instead, he rewards you by lavishing attention on one of your multiple sensitive spots he has already identified and memorized for later use.

He will finish. It doesn’t matter if it is alongside you or if he has to keep pistoning into you while you tremble and whimper in overstimulation.

He claims that it is the price to pay when you have relations with someone. If either participant is left unsatisfied then it is a failure on both ends, the satisfied being a dishonourable thief and the unsatisfied being too weak to fight for what is owed to them.

Secretly though, Vergil was also quickly getting hooked on the sensation of you clinging to him, inside and out, and so he could not stop himself.

If he senses any dissatisfaction from you, he takes it as a personal insult. He will dive back in, no matter your flustered reaction or lack of energy. His ability to pleasure you shall not be questioned so if it takes an hour of pounding into you or burying his face into your core then so be it. Neither of you will rest until you are completely satisfied or your mind and body are numb from pleasure.

When all is said and done, he is quiet. It may seem like he is unhappy or uninterested, but in reality, his mind and body are still buzzing and he is struggling more than he ever has in his life to relax and focus.

Once he does find some clarity he gets up without a word and lifts you into his arms. He is able to hide how weak his legs are at the moment as he carries you to the bath so you may cleanse yourself and relax your muscles in the hot water.

He has no intention of joining you as he would rather address the inconvenient consequences of lovemaking. Condoms need to be thrown away or packed up. The bed sheets need to be removed and thrown in the wash, and then new ones dug out to replace them. Sleeping attire needed to be gathered.

He explains this to you matter-of-factly. But if you look up at him with those pleading, hopeful, beautiful eyes and ask him to stay, he can’t find it in himself to refuse you.

Reboot Vergil

When you first tell him you are a virgin as he briskly types away at his laptop, he initially responds with the same level of interest as if you just told him your favourite colour. Firstly, he is busy with work, as he always is. Secondly, being around Dante has desensitized Vergil so much that any mention of sex and its many facets would pass through his head like a gentle breeze while he keeps his focus on what he is doing.

It could take minutes, it could take hours, but eventually it will click. It hits Vergil like a truck when he realizes what you, his girlfriend, were trying to insinuate when you told him you were a virgin.

He feels stupid.

He feels excited.

And he feels a rush of pride and superiority at the implication that you want him to take your virginity. Out of all the people you have met before, or would ever meet, it was he who won your heart and would be gifted the treasure of taking your innocence.

He casually and calmly brings up the topic again the next time he sees you just to clarify. And when you do, his heart is sent racing while his mind starts formulating the perfect plan.

Thoughts of you quickly take over his mind. He can still focus on work when he needs to, but if he finds himself stuck with a particularly tedious or uninvolved task, such as watching security footage or waiting for his specially made virus to copy and send him all of the data in a company’s database, his mind wanders. And though his thoughts had occasionally drifted to you before, now that he knows what is to come in your relationship, you are all he can think about. This results in him planning a date for your first time together rather than letting it happen naturally.

He will make an event out of it. You two will spend the whole day together, or longer if he has the free time to whisk you away to a vacation, where he gives you his undivided attention and affection. And at the end of the day, he will take you to a luxury suit he booked both because he wanted to keep the dreamlike feeling of the day going and because he did not want to spoil your first time by having you somewhere dark, cold, and crawling with people demanding his attention like The Order headquarters.

He won't throw you down on the bed the moment you step through the door though, no. He will want to spend some time lounging in the suit with you, maybe drinking a bit, eating, talking, all with soft music playing from somewhere. And sprinkled throughout will be tantalizing touches and eye contact to build anticipation.

You two could be talking on the couch and his hand will slide onto your leg, hold still or give a couple of squeezes until he knows you have noticed, then run up and down your leg. Maybe he’ll pull you into a slow dance where you are either forced to look at one another, faces so close your warm breaths mingle together, or you are pressed together so close that you can feel each other's heartbeats. Or he will simply watch you lovingly, not saying a word, until you notice his lack of response and turn to him. He’ll hold your gaze for an agonizing few seconds, then his smile will twist into a grin, his tongue will peak out to lick at his lips as he looks down at yours, or he will bite his bottom lip while raking his eyes over your body. Then he’ll suddenly return to the conversation like nothing happened while secretly reveling in how frazzled he made you without speaking a word or touching you.

He will give you, through just trying to have a good time and directly offering, alcohol and medication beforehand. Nothing that could impair you, only enough to dull the possible pain. He will respect your decision if you decline, but he will have still bought numbing lubricant.

When it comes to actually doing it, he is more of a sensual lover so he is used to a slower and gentler experience.

He is intent on being in control, as he always wants to be, so he will insist that you don’t have to do anything but lay back and enjoy yourself while he takes care of everything.

For example, he will gracefully peel away your clothes and soon after strip himself for you so that you can both bear yourself to each other without any more barriers. This way he can: feel the trust you have in him, and he can show you that it is well placed; enjoy the slow, tantalizing reveal of your body; and get to feel the boost of pride at how you marvel at his body, which you have not yet seen due to his inclination to wear full pants and his coat or long sleeve shirts.

If you start to fuss for whatever reason he will hush and shush you in that gentle, soothing way. With a hand lightly caressing your face, an expression of mature reassurance, and voice in a soft whisper, he’ll say things like “shh, it's alright. I’ve got you; I won't let anything bad happen to you as long as you are here in my arms” and “hush darling, none of that self-doubt, you are doing perfectly”.

This is also his approach to if your hymen tears. The pain will be less severe due to one, or multiple, of the ways he has numbed you and that area, but he knows there is always a chance that the pain will be too great to fully abolish. So as you cry he will hold you, caress you, and assure you that you are fine. Nothing is wrong, this is natural, and that it will be well worth it. You just have to trust in him and his promise to take care of you.

If you demand to stop or are unsatisfied somehow, he will pointedly ask you what he did wrong. He will keep up a calm, patient, in-control demeanour as he fishes for information and reasons, but on the inside he is furious.

He had worked so hard, done so much research, meticulously guided the experience, and yet you are unhappy? Where did he go wrong? Why is he such a failure to the one woman he truly loves? Of all the ways he could have screwed up in his life, this was the most precious and delicate of moments and by ruining it he may have left a permanent scar in your relationship. It is a guilt and self-anger that will hang over him for years. Perhaps even to the end of his days.

Assuming everything goes perfectly, as he is sure it will, he has a plan for after everything is done. He will whisk you away to a bath, or the private hot tub he made sure came with the suit he booked, and feed you food and drinks to lavish you in luxury.

And he will still do that if you want. But when the moment finally comes and you are snuggled up against his heaving chest, hair tousled, clinging to him, eyes closed in exhaustion, and expression that of a gentle, pleased, and at peace smile… all of his plans and train of thought disappear. All he sees, and all he needs, in this moment is to hold you.

Nero

You being a virgin was both a good and bad thing.

On the positive side, Nero felt honoured that you are considering giving your virginity to him and it makes him more secure in telling you that he will be giving you the same.

The bad part is that neither of you knew what the hell you were doing or how to go about things. And in a town run by an old-fashioned religious group that implored their people to wear hoods and full-length clothes, you can bet that they are not about premarital sex so there were not exactly resources on teaching this sort of thing to people his age. Even Nero’s family (as far as he knew pre-DMC4) couldn’t really help since the only ones left were his brother and sister who had not done anything of the sort themselves.

Thank Sparda they were at least willing to help a little. They were both unsure about the idea, being super committed to their religion. Credo in particular would pull Nero aside and try to dissuade him, but he knew that his little brother was a spitfire who would not listen and did not follow the Order’s morals as closely as he wished he did.

Both Kyrie and Credo, knowing that this was going to happen eventually no matter what, did at least go out of their way to covertly gather materials like condoms, lubricant, and maybe some debaucherous books that had been confiscated by the Order as that was the closest to experience any of them could get.

Nero is impatient in getting to experience this with you. He was a healthy young man and he could not help his urges. He had the self-control to not push you into doing things you were not comfortable with, but that did not mean he didn’t push you a bit.

It wasn’t like he was trying to convince you or badger you into it, it was more so that he got ahead of himself sometimes. It’s just that when he would have you close, he couldn’t help but notice how pretty you were. You fit in his arms so perfectly. You were so warm, so soft, so squeezable.

Often, he wouldn’t even realize what he was doing.

“What? Oh, sorry. My bad.” He says with a flustered look as he yanks his hand back after you pull away from the kiss to tell him he was grabbing your butt in a public park.

These urges would not stop when you left. Though he would never tell you, out of embarrassment and a sense of guilt for doing it, but he masturbated to thoughts of you regularly. It began before you two even started dating and were in the bashful flirting stage. He didn’t even mean for it to happen the first few times. He tried to keep you out of his thoughts in those moments out of respect but when he was lost in the moment, his mind foggy and his mental filter was down, while searching his mind for thoughts that could energize him to chase that finish line you inevitable popped up, and that’s often what got him. And this habit only increased the closer you two got and the more he had to wait to have you.

When the moment finally came, you two got to have the house to yourselves for the night and you were giving those signs, Nero was almost too excited. His heart was beating faster than normal and his hands were a bit clammy the whole time in anticipation.

He does his best to act confident and in control, as is his usual MO, but you can occasionally catch slipups where he fumbles and curses a bit under his breath. His excitement also gets the better of him sometimes where he suddenly and unconsciously goes a bit faster or a bit rougher than maybe he should. He will stop and slow down if you ask, but it will definitely happen a few times. He can’t help it, he is just so happy, so excited, and you feel so damn good.

There is a good chance that he will tear your hymen in all of his excitement.

Nero is a bit lost in the sensation of finally feeling you surround him that he does not fully register you’re discomfort until you start telling him to stop.

“Fuck. What is it?” Nero grumbles as he feels you trying to push him away. His shallow thrusts stutter to a stop and he fights to hold his position, a primal part of him demanding that he keep grinding into you.

“It hurts.” The moment you say that Nero pops up onto outstretched arms.

“What?” When he sees the distress in your expression and pulls out enough to see blood coming from you, he starts to panic. “Holy shit, what happened? Are you okay? Fuck, shit, wait.”

His panicking causes you to panic which makes him more panicked and this spirals. He pulls out fully and tries to assure you that “I can fix this, just relax”, but that’s an impossibility at this point. He does not understand what is happening or how to deal with it. He races to grab you a towel and maybe pain medication? A hot water bottle? What does he do?

In the end, he calls Kyrie for help. She doesn’t really know much more than you two about sex but she is able to stay calm and relax you two enough to talk about things and maybe call a doctor. She will even take the bullet and call the doctor herself claiming she is the one who tried to have sex just to save you the embarrassment if you can’t bring yourself to do it.

In short, it is an absolute mess and makes things awkward between you two for a bit. He will avoid getting too touchy or intimate with you for a little bit out of guilt. You can even catch him mumbling apologies at seemingly random times because he thinks back to what he did and feels the need to.

When you two do finally have a proper, satisfying experience, whether it be after getting over the first mishap or if the first time went well because your hymen was already open enough for him, Nero feels a sense of giddiness.

He was not used to this post-coital bliss, instead often having post-nut clarity and maybe feeling a bit bad about it, so it kind of catches him off guard. He curls around you and nuzzles into your hair with a pleased smile. He peppers you with occasional kisses, tells you how good it felt, and asks you if you liked it too.

He is awash with renewed energy and can't seem to settle down. He will need something to calm down like a bath, food, music, or even a little game. And the whole time he can’t keep his hands off of you. Not so much for sexual reasons, though there was a tiny bit of that, but just out of the need to be close in this moment and show you affection.

And when you two do finally fall asleep, you are unable to escape his vine like embrace until the next morning.

V

V can, and will, play the long game with you. That is to say, he will spend weeks, possibly months, preparing you for the main course.

When you tell him you are a virgin and hint, through words or actions, that you are considering having your first time with him, his plan is set into motion.

He has no intention of simply waiting for the right time and then trying to take you all the way in one go. Instead, he builds up to it over multiple days.

He will start with kissing you a bit longer than the usual pecks or goodnight kisses you are used to. Once you get comfortable with that, will move to the next step.

He won't simply release you after a kiss, instead encouraging you to give him 1, 2, or however many you are willing to, more. As you pull away, he will chase your lips or gently pull you back to him by cupping your cheek or threading his fingers through your hair to hold your head. Once you are receptive to that he will proceed to the next step.

As you two kiss, or even just hold each other with the right mood set, V’s usually stationary hands start to wander. At first, he’ll avoid your more private areas and stick to rubbing your back, shoulders, and arms. Then he will start caressing them. Then he will move to more sensitive areas, like your legs, hips, and neck. Then, he will start gliding his hand over your rear, chest, and lower stomach just above the most sacred of areas. He may even try to hold his hand there if you will let him. He won't grope and grab, just hold and maybe caress those spots to let you grow comfortable with him touching you there. And once you are comfortable with that, he will take things further.

So on and so forth. And between every attempt and step, there is a break of hours, a day, or more.

He knows that committing to something like making love for the first time can be overwhelming with all of the new experiences, sensations, and emotions that come with it. So, instead of compressing all of it into an evening, he will separate these to make the ascension into full-blown passion as unjarring and natural as possible.

Even when you two do get into a bed and start touching under your clothes, V still takes things agonizingly slowly.

The first time you cum because of him had you sitting in his lap with your clothes still on and his hands down your pants. With one arm supporting your back to keep you in a semi-laying position while he held you up, and his face pressed into your hair, so you are not embarrassed by his staring and he can whisper into your ear, he pleasures you with just his hand, showering you with praise and offering reminders.

“You feel wonderful my dear.”

“You are so beautiful.”

“You are doing so well.”

“Please don’t hold your breath, let yourself breath and allow me the pleasure of listening to your sweet voice.”

“Move, flex, twitch, cry out, close your eyes, do whatever it is you desire. I will be here with you no matter what to take care of you. To guide you. To love you.”

“Focus on my fingers and how they glide betwixt your flower petals, how they spread your slick until it coats you completely, how they circle your bud, how they slide in easily as if they were made to bring you to ecstasy.”

He will get you to finish like this, held on his lap and in his arms, without pushing you to reveal your body to him. And this is where the sexual escapade will end for the night. V can see that you are tired out by this first sexual interaction, whether you see it as losing your virginity or not, and he simply wants to enjoy caring for you and soaking up the warmth radiating from you in your afterglow.

What’s that? You’ve noticed that V is still hard and did not actually cum? “Do not worry yourself over such things my songbird.” He assures you as he lays you down on the bed and begins stroking your hair. “Though I truly appreciate your attention to me despite you being the star of this moment, I must confess that not even reaching a physical climax can outmatch the pleasure I feel in seeing your ecstasy, so there is no need for you to overexert yourself on me when you have already satisfied my heart and soul.”

This also continues for a while, where he will bring you to completion through his hands, mouth, or some other means without asking for anything in return. Though, if you ask him if you can touch him, he will gladly welcome it. But your pleasure is paramount and whether he reaches his own orgasm or not is irrelevant.

It goes without saying that if, at any stage, you ask for things to slow down or stop, V will without hesitation. However, one slightly negative effect is that he tends to take even things like “slow down” and “wait” as hard stops, pulling away and ending the moment there. You may have to stop him from just giving up right away. He finds it unexpected but endearing and arousing when you ask him to continue.

When he does, finally, go all the way, things are just as slow, sensual, and focused on your experience as everything leading up to this.

Having your hymen torn by V is extremely unlikely considering how carefully he had trained and molded your body for this moment. But, hypothetically, if this were to happen he would be frustrated.

He does not blame it on you in the slightest, nor does he show any sort of negative emotion outwardly. He pulls out and showers you in affirmations and comfort in any way he can with a gentle, sympathetic smile. On the inside though he is fuming.

He had been so careful, worked so hard to avoid this, and done everything he could to prepare you. And yet now his precious songbird was in pain and there was nothing he could do except offer moral support and maybe offer pain medication or natural pain relief like a bath.

He will insist you stop here for today and will take a few steps back in his plan to ease you back into trying that again.

After the eventual successful try, V is in a state of bliss as he enjoys the fruit of his labor. To experience the most intimate of connections with the one he loves and have you lay in his arms feeling satisfied, safe, and secure after giving him something so precious was a joyous moment he would carry with him for the rest of his life.

[knightyoomyoui]

[COMMISSION] LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT  | TWICE x Male Reader | CHAPTER 1: "A Nightmarish First Encounter"

Welcome to another brand new TWICE fic series of mine! This story will serve both as an adaptation and a soft reboot of the TWICE horror-comedy book titled “Living With Vampires” written by SaiDaChae29 published in 2020 which was sadly left discontinued until this day. For this one, it scrapped some of the parts from the original while others were kept and applied changes which will lead to its direct continuation. Special mention also to @nchris00 who ordered a commission and entrusted me to recreate this interesting story as his request. Hope this one won’t disappoint! Thank you so much again! -> Read the PROLOGUE here <- “LIVING WITH VAMPIRES: UNDER THE VEIL OF NIGHT” By knightyoomyoui Commissioned by: @nchris00 Part: CHAPTER 1 : "A Nightmarish First Encounter" Word Count: 5,879

2 YEARS AGO

I knocked at the house where there was an old man living in there that I used to help throwing the garbage every night. As he opened the door, he greeted me with a curious gaze as soon as he saw me standing in front of his doorway.

“Jeonghoon? What is it?”

“Uhh hey pops uhm… I was just wondering if you have some extra food left there?” It took some courage to ask that from him, since this is my first time begging from somebody straight into their home for some food to eat. Also, I just did this now from him because he only just know me as a hobo who helps people throw trash in their neighboorhood.

“I already ate the leftovers that I collected few days ago so… if you won’t mind, can I-”

“You came at the right time, Jeonghoon. Ofcourse I will.” He nodded understandably after cutting off my words. I didn’t find it disrespectful at all now that he responded the same thing I was expecting for him to say to me.

He left me in his doorway to grab something from his kitchen. I heard some metal clanging and probably procelains, maybe grabbing something from the plates. I was curious but I remained in his doorway, without any intention to come inside and do something that would break his trust.

Because I will never do that. I may have know how it feels to lose something… but just because it happened worse to me that doesn’t mean I have to make others feel what I felt.

It’s painful, enough to have your life get destroyed in an instant.

Which is what I’ve been going through these days. Imagine I was having these things for me too until that person I thought would be the nicest one among everyone took it all away from me and didn’t spare nothing.

I didn’t noticed I was too occupied at my thoughts when pops here even had to pat my chest twice to steal my attention. “Hey, are you okay young guy? You must be spacing out.”

“Oh u-uhm… I-I’m really sorry pops, I didn’t heard what you said.”

“No don’t worry, I just called your name repeatedly and you can’t hear me, so I checked up on you and I found you hear staring at nothing.” The old man waves it off for me. I looked at his hands and he was carrying a tupperware of the food he cooked for dinner.

“I cooked too much that I wasn’t able to finish it all, that’s why I said that you came here at the right time because I feel a bit dismayed at leaving this extra for tomorrow.” Pops said to me. He handed it to me and I accepted it.

“Do you want to eat here?”

“I would be honored, pops but I think i’m fine out there. I would like to grab some fresh air afterwards.” 

He nodded and he took my answer well. “Okay, eat well Jeonghoon.”

“Thanks a lot again, pops. Good night.”

“You too, kid.”

I bowed again to double the respect I have for his kindness and he smiled softly for me because I helped him close the door. I looked at the beef steak he has for me and probably this is the first day since I lost a home that I smiled with pure genuine.

I looked for some spare bench here along the road and thankfully I found one where I can sit and enjoy this meal I have tonight. I opened the container and smelled the food, oh it was surely mouth-watering and fragrant. 

I prayed as my gratitude to have this kind of food despite of my poor situation. Without wasting much time, I grabbed the spoon he gave for me and I ate my dinner in less than three minutes, an effect of the hunger I was tried to hold onto since earlier.

After I finished my dinner, I went to my scraps to place this in a plastic so that I can return this to pops tomorrow. Then I went back at the spot where I decided to sleep along with my carton as my sleeping mat to make myself more comfortable.

I laid on the couch and stared at the stars above, deeply wondering what the future still awaits for me even after my life had its rock bottom state. Will I still be able to save myself and get back up to slowly reclaim what I never lost in the first place or… if I will be lucky…

Is there someone else out there who will be willing to lend me a hand and assist me with it?

I don’t know exactly, but not gonna lie I don’t lose hope yet. Well, I just think that’s what I should do while I’m still breathing and living you know? I don’t want to waste this opportunity yet, that’s why i have to find a way to look for something that will add more purpose of why i’m living right now. 

I still believe that just because we lost something in our life doesn’t mean we remain worthless forever. 

Anyways, enough of these deep thoughts. I just want to relax myself and call this a day. I just hope there’s a karma awaiting for that person who made me like this. There’s no instances that someone can just ran away freely after doing something reckless to others who did nothing wrong to them.

I closed my eyes and breathe deeply before I let my body soak into slumber.

However, few hours later I suppose, well since I don’t have a watch or a clock -I do have my phone with me but it’s still lowbat since I didn’t get to have my charger with me when I got abandoned-, my ears caught something irritating that woke my senses back up even if it doesn’t want to yet since it’s still midnight.

It was gibberish loud and since it’s slightly audible, I can tell that those noises were coming just nearby from me. I slowly opened my eyes and I blinked rapidly as I try to hear the noises again that caused my peaceful sleep to be rudely interrupted.

I groaned as my reaction before I stood back up. The sound became much clearer now, and I grabbed some of the words they’re talking about. Not being overly interested in gossips, but I do caught that they’re talking about ‘paying something because it’s already due’ thingie.

I looked around to find out what it is, and what I saw didn’t gave me a surprise, it just explained why the sound was so close to me.

There are three kids being cornered by a tandem of intimidating guys cornering them from left to right as they ask them about something.

They’re too busy at what they’re talking about so I tried to hid myself from the nearby lamppost to eavesdrop their conversation more.

“That’s a part of our deal, and we told you that each of us would respect our rules and roles here. We let you borrow our money… and you have to pay us back on the due date.” The guy on the right said, and he’s talking directly at that tallest kid who looks like he’s protecting those two little kiddos he has with him from them.

“I’m telling you sir please, I’m going to pay for it I know about that! It’s just that what I’ve been saving as of now isn’t enough yet to reach that amount.” He replied while trembling in fear.

“And do you think it’s a good thing that even if you don’t want your deadline to pass, you have no choice but to let it? Do we look like we are nice enough to give a second chance?” The left guy said, stepping forward to scare the three kids more.

I understood their situation now. So this kid took a loan agreement with them and these guys are the sharks who are trying to collect the money they gave to the kid as per the agreement says. I get it that they’re just following the rules but… does it really have to come this way?

“Look kid, you better do something right now to pay what you requested for us or else… we are the ones who will look for an alternative.”

“And hey man, I think I know what we should took rather.” He grinned evilly at his partner on the right before his sight landed on the kids.

He tried to reach the arm of that little guy but the tallest one sways his hand away to avoid having contact with the kid. “Get your hands off from them!”

Wait… oh no, are they thinking about the kids being the substitute payment for this guy’s balance?

“Then pay us right now or else you won’t be going to see these rats ever again!”

“No please, I’m begging you leave them out of this!” He shook his head and tried to rid them away while pleading for mercy.

“Shut up!” The left dude pulled his wavering hand at them and shoo-ed him away from the kids. My eyes largened and felt nervous for this guy and what these dudes would do to the poor kids who are crying now in fear.

“THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!”

“WELL THEY ARE NOW, BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THEM INTO THIS MESS YOU SHOULD’VE AVOIDED IF ONLY YOU COULD’VE PAID US!” The right dude locked his grip on this kid’s slim arm. It tried to force himself out of the hold until this kid tried to bit his knuckle, making the dude scream in pain.

“AAAAISSSHHH, YOU LITTLE DEVIL!” He shook his hand before looking at the kid dangerously and unexpectedly slapped its face.

“No… NO!!!” The guy tried to approach the dude but he only received a huge blow onto his midsection, shutting him off. 

I couldn’t take this sight anymore, so I have to do something for these younglings. I know I’m not that much of a skilled person when it comes to self-defense or challenging somebody in a combat but… I can’t just let these kids to end up somewhere with fate unknown in the hands of these bastards.

Stupidly, I quickly went out of my hiding and tensely approached the dudes who are double-teaming the tall guy before they try to bring the kids with them. I noticed also that the black van that is parking on the side of the road belongs to them.

“HEY! Didn’t you heard what he said!” My puny self yelled at them with bent toughness. “He said they have nothing to do with your problem, so leave them alone!” I said while I eyed the kids who are looking at me right now with their pitiful watery eyes.

“And who the fuck are you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just a random guy on the streets that you two bitchasses ruined his sleep with your annoying rumblings.” I said with much confidence with them. This is the hilarious thing about me, I’m so brave at trashtalking bullies but when they come at me, I’m like a flower who easily covers itself for protection.

In short, I don’t know how to fight back with fists. Great.

“Well, is that so? We don’t give a shit about your beauty sleep, so turn around now, mind your business and you can get yourself back to your little sleep because we’re almost done here. How about that?” The left dude said as he tugged the hair of the tall guy’s hair, making him yelp at the sting it must have caused on his scalp.

I hissed irritably at the stubbornness of this loser. I sighed deeply then went back to arguing with them when I noticed that the dudes were about to carry the kids with them through the van. The tall guy looked at me, crying and pleaded.

“Please… mister… they can’t get away…”

“TYLER!!!” An old man suddenly shouted this guy’s name. I saw that he just came out of the door from this huge looking place. Then I figured out it’s name plastered on top of the entrance.

“ORPHANAGE”

Wait a minute? Orpha- so these kids are orphans? Now I know why this Tyler guy is so protective with these kids and highly concerned for them. Plus, their home is actually just right in front of them! That means they were about to head home when these bad dudes blocked them off from doing so.

“HEY, W-WHERE ARE THEY TAKING THEM!” The old guy saw the dudes carrying the kids who are crying and trying to wiggle off in their arms to escape.

I looked at them and breathe drelpy before I let my urges control me.

I ran immediately and just before they’re about to open the sliding door of their van, I pushed them both off into the ground, while apologetically involving the kids on the ground. I just thought that it’s the better way to stop them by getting distracted at the kids bodies colliding with them as they fall.

“GO, RUN!” I commanded the kids who were a bit confused at what I just did. I looked at both of them and they got my signal. They stumbled to stand but luckily they are able to ran back from Tyler and the old man. 

“You son of a bitch, look what you just did!” The dude who is laying down beneath me suddenly kicked me on the leg, effectively making me kneel on the ground at how painful it is to endure while standing.

As I was busy seething off the pain, the other dude took the advantage by blowing me in the back of the head with his hammered fists. I faceplanted on the ground and then I felt my entire body filled with shots coming from their attacks.

They kicked me with pure despise. It stopped for a while until I felt by body getting rolled and face up, the dude straddled me and gave me repeated punches to the face before my sight went blurred and complete black.

My eyes suddenly sprung up, and what greeted me was a view of a girl who seemed like she flinched a little when my eyes opened. Her head is upside down, so I figured that she’s looking at me from the edge of… wait, am I laying down on a couch?

“Jihyo-unnie! There’s a man sleeping on our couch!!!” The girl suddenly shouted for her Jihyo-unnie. I guess that was her sister or something but hold up, where was I?!

I made the hardest and most painful sat-up I ever did in my entire life, as I feel like my abdomen are tightening while I’m doing it. My head also feels a little dizzy so I groaned and hold it for support before I turned around.

And where the hell was I? Why am I in a very cozy looking room filled with women sitting around in front of me.

What I first noticed was the girl who is staring at me upside down, she is indeed on the edge of the couch on my side looking suspicious at me with her knitted brows.

Then on the other hand was the rest of the girls with her. The first one is wearing a purple T-shirt with a girl character on its chest, she’s watching the TV in the floor along with the pale-looking girl who I can almost compare her similarity to Snow White because of how bright her skin was.

The other ones on the couch were this girl with long legs, wolfcut haired, and in black t-shirt building a Lego figure on a table and the one beside her is a very gorgeous looking one with uhm… enticing thighs, sitting like a ball and very focused on her phone.

I seriously don’t know who are these girls and why did I end up here, but for now I’ll just leave what will happen to me based on their actions… but ofcouse that doesn’t mean I won’t do something about it.

“W-who are you?” I asked the long-hair girl with tattoos. “And how did I end up here?”

“I was about to ask the same thing about you, Mr. Nobody.” She crossed her eyes and popped the bubble gum she was chewing. “We just woke up and I just went down when we found you here laying so comfortably here in our dorm like it’s yours.”

Dorm?

Where in the blue hell am I actually am right now, seriously?

“What did you say? A dorm?” I asked her again.

“Yeah! Are you deaf or something?”

“I seriously don’t know this place. I don’t even have any idea why I’m here!” I felt embarassed when my raising voice accidentally caught the other girl’s attention, and now they’re looking at me with curiousity.

“Oh, he’s awake!” The girl in purple said. She doesn’t seemed to be frightened that a stranger is on a room with her friends, she rather sounds glee about it.

“Look wait, let me explain-”

“Tell that to her instead.” Chaeyoung flicked her head back when she sensed that a footstep is growing near from us. “Jihyo- unnie!!!”

“Yes yes I’m coming Chae, jeez.” This Jihyo said to her, sounding like she’s so done at this girl’s whiny voice. Oh, didn’t I just heard this tattoo girl’s name to be Chae?

While i was awaiting at this Jihyo’s arrival, Chae decided to scare me off with her gesturing me with her index finger that tells me I’m screwed… which was kinda effective and not at the same time because I don’t even know what this Jihyo can do and… her giving death warning isn’t suitable for a short girl like her with cute features.

I gulped but I hid my nervousness by glancing at her cluelessly at her. Then, a figure stood beside Chae, a short-girl one with large round eyes, almost had me questioning if she’s actually Korean or she’s half.

She was about to ask Chae but her eyes landed at me and just like how Chae greeted me when I woke up, she shared the same judgmental look.

“Who are you and what are you doing here in our place?”

“You asked exactly the same thing as this girl right here.” I pointed at Chae. “And I can’t give the answer as for you too, because I don’t even know how did I end up here.” I shrugged.

“Are you sure about that?” She raised her eyebrow to me, unsure if I was speaking the truth.

“She’s probably speaking lies, Jihyo-unnie! Who knows, maybe this idiot is an intruder!”

“Intruder?! I don’t even know how to lockpick or climb walls!” I said to this brat over here as I felt offended.

“Well guessing from that look of yours and how mysterious your identity are, you should be considered as one.” She traced my appearance from head and toe, as if she’s wondering why such a being like me is existing in this world.

“Look, I’m not as dumb as you think I am. I am very aware that such a hobo like me wouldn’t have even a slightest chance to enter or hell, own a dorm such luxurious as this!”

“Both of you, silence your mouths!” Jihyo stops me and Chae from having a war of words. “Chaeyoung is right, you better give us something you know or else we don’t have a choice but to call security and forcefully get you out of here.”

“Wait wait, I don’t know how but I’ll just tell you instead what I know!” I paused her after this irritating Chaeyoung even handed Jihyo her phone. She’s so obvious of making me look like I’m not very welcome here in their territory.

“But first uhm… where is your bathroom?” I said as my expression softened after sheepishly admitting that the nature is calling for my reproductive organs to release something in effect of my hydration.

“And what are you gonna do in there?” Jihyo questions me.

“She’s probably gonna try to run away, Jihyo unnie! Quick girls, block the-”

“I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BATHROOM BREAK, PLEASE.” I said as I hold my kidney spot tight, constricting my legs as I hold on my pee.

“Oh.” Jihyo reacted. “Cmon, Chae as if he’s gonna be out here by his own. Our lock is equipped with passcode remember?” She said as she patted Chaeyoung’s shoulder who seems sulking that she was proven wrong. “Anyways, the bathroom is on the right, you can see the hallway down here.”

“T-thanks”, I immediately stood up and bowed at them thankfully before I went for the location of it.

As I already reached the kitchen which is where the hallway that Jihyo mentioned was near at, I noticed that there’s another girl coming from upstairs coming rushing down and went for the fridge. She even ignored me as she just passed by at me.

I just gave her the same treatment and walked through the bathroom door but just as I was about to grab the knob and opened it, I heard what she said from behind that grabbed my attention.

“Ahhh… oh a fresh blood in the morning after a hangover is incomparably great!” 

I turned my body around slowly to look at Nayeon after what she just said, just want to confirm it if she’s joking or something.

But what I found out after was instead something much more serious to be like that.

I saw Nayeon holding a transparent pitchel filled with red substance on it while gulping its content with a glass on her other hand. She was kneeling in front of the open fridge.

It was like in the movies where a protagonist gets a camera shot where his or her figure gets zoomed in while the background shrinks as soon as that character finds something mind-blowing, that’s what it looked like to mr when I felt chills in my body.

“Nayeon, hurry up! I want that blood already!”

How in the fuck can they just pronouce that they are consuming blood so casually?! It’s nit even normal at all?!

Or else…

As Nayeon followed the voice where it came from, she caught my figure standing in the middle of the hallway, watching her in horror at the strange act she’s doing. I wished she didn’t even stopped, because she terrified me further when she leans away the glass from her, revealing her blood stained mouth.

“What the fuck… are you?” 

She stood up and left the kitchen as she starts walking towards me. I hurriedly turned the doorknob but it was locked. My heart beats even faster as I got confused and even more desperate to get myself away from this bloodlust woman.

It only stopped when my vision went back to pitch black as I couldn’t control my movement anymore.

I have no idea how long I snapped out, but in an instant i just recovered my consciousness back in this comfy couch again. This time, they aren’t around to be seen in what it seems to be their living room. However, I heard clanging noises from the back, I peeked to see what it is and there they actually are, all seated on their dining table with plates and foods all around their table.

The wolfcut girl was distributing the spoons for her roommates while the short-haired woman was assisting her on scooping up the foods for them. I was just silently watching them when someone caught.

“You’re back.” A girl that I haven’t seen yet spoke me as she faced her sitting posture onto me.

I just stared at us and she probably figured out that I haven’t met or know her yet. She chuckled and smiled as she realized it. “Join us.”

Her soft voice and elegant moves piqued my interest on her. She looks so gentle and very nice to get along with. Out of all the girls who I saw, my attention was pinned sharply at her. She just lets out an unexplainable aura that carries me to her.

I nodded and I stood up, which again caught their focus. Chaeyoung’s bright face turned back into an intense and angsty mood when she noticed me back alive again. Jihyo just looked at me seriously but my eyes averted more at this girl named Nayeon who was somehow avoiding her face at me.

I felt my heartbeat quicken again which caused my head to ache and feel a bit dizzy. I almost stumble but thankfully, the wolfcut girl caught my back. “You okay?”

“My head is a bit spiraling, but I’m good.”

“Yeah it’s better to eat first. I’ll give you a medicine after.”

She was about to direct me to their table but then I refused. “S-sorry, but can I go now? I don’t even have to be here, I’m sorry again for the incovenience that I caused-”

“Don’t disrespect unnie like that, now follow her and sit with us!” I didn’t expected that those inviting words, even though they were sounded a bit rude… came from Chaeyoung herself. I looked at her with shame and I just nodded in defeat. I don’t even want to try making this girl’s blood boil more if I already feeling weak.

Oh, great. Speaking about the blood.

As I slowly make my seat, my eyes are still staring at Nayeon who seems uncomfortable now with my look. I try to stop it but at the same time I’m just completely puzzled and disgusted at what I caught from her earlier.

“You can join us for breakfast, because what we learned about you gave me a bit of an assurance that there’s nothing wrong with you.” Jihyo said as she grabbed her spoon and fork before she nodded at the person in front of her from the distance to proceed as she starts eating her food.

It turns out to be the elegant girl sitting with the wolfcut girl and the one with tattoos beside her. “May we know your name first?” she asked me.

“J-Jeonghoon. Min Jeonghoon.”

“Do you remember how did you end up here in our dorm?”

I stopped for a while as I attempt to recall the last scenarios I’ve gone through, which was from last night… but it was like some sort of a missing puzzle pieces, because I couldn’t remember it entirely.

“A bit. All I know is just I beat up some guys because I caught them trying to abduct the siblings of this kid that they intimidate. I’m pretty sure I got knocked out, but… I really don’t know how am I now here, in this type if place with you all.” I explained.

“Someone brought you here with us. That person found you unconscious outside with a badly beaten body.” Jihyo starts to enlighten out the things I temporarily forgot.

“And you should be thanking right now at her.” She glanced back at the elegant girl who just smiled at me and nodded back. My eyes widened when I understood that she was the one who saved me. 

“I’m sorry if you haven’t met me a while ago when you woke up, I just went for some exercise in our gym.” She bowed her head. “My name’s Mina, and I’m the one who brought you here.”

“W-wait, but how…” 

“Since you couldn’t remember when you went through last night, I was a friend with the old guy who owns the orphanage and a guardian of those three kids you saved out there.” She started to narrate what previously happened. 

“He called me along with the police because well… lets say he knows me as someone he can entrust a lot about.” Mina shrugged. “I volunteered to get you healed here while the old guy reported the incident to the police so… that’s the reason how you end up here in our place.” 

I felt relieved and contented that I have an idea now of what I just did, that I was also responsible actually of bringing myself into here, sharing a room with these 9 girls that even though I never met them in my entire life, they seem to be good people and I can somehow try to connect and make myself trustworthy to them… in return of what Mina did to me.

“We learned from Tyler, the kid you saved that they were caught by the loan sharks and you went there to stop them from kidnapping his fellow orphans in exchange of his unpaid balance.” Jihyo said. “And your kind deed was enough to make me convince that maybe you’re not actually what we hope you won’t be. That’s why we talked about even thought Chaeyoung here was… still hesitant-”

“We still don’t know him, unnie! I won’t still trust him around us.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes as she spatted a toxic gaze at her before returning to her food.

“Exactly what I was saying, but she was still right. We may be appreciating what you did for the kids Jeonghoon but… you got to prove us more. We still don’t know much with you yet.”

“But you’re now welcome to interact with us.” The wolfcut haired girl spoke to me with a nice smile. I felt grateful that they gave me a chance somehow even thought I ended up looking weird for them.

“Thank you so much, I will do my best, I promise.” I said to them, bowing respectfully. 

I started to eat along with them. While I was savoring how delicious the food was, my eyes caught this girl that I last seen drinking blood. I still can’t get it out of my head. As I get drown fron my curiosity, all of us flinched and got a mini heart attack when she suddenly stood up and slammed her fist on the table, towering at me with her deadly stare.

“CAN YOU STOP LOOKING WITH ME, I COULDN’T EAT PEACEFULLY WITH YOUR STARES! IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME ALREADY ABOUT THE BLOOD I DRANK EARLIER, THEN FREAKING DO IT ALREADY!”

All of us went silent while I found the other girl with bangs slapped her head frustratingly. We locked into a staring contest until Jihyo slids between.

“Nayeon! Calm down!”

“What did you just said, Nayeon unnie?!” Wolfcut asked her older friend which revealed to be her name as Nayeon. Her voice has sn evident disbelief in it. 

Nayeon realized what she just accidentally released in her mouth, so she quickly covered it with her palm as she nervously looked around at us especially to Jihyo.

“I-I’m sorry… I-”

“You heard her right.” I said as I still confronted Nayeon. “I caught Nayeon drinking blood from the fridge, even complimenting that it was the best thing to aid hangover.”

All of them gasped and this girl beside me who was using her phone earlier clicked her tongue thrice. Wait, did I mentioned already that she looks like the tallest of them all? Well, excluding me because her head is leveled just right on my shoulder.

“Do you girls know about this? Why is she drinking blood? What are you girls hiding from me?”

They all went suspiciously silent for a moment, my fear and nervousness is increasing my heartbeat’s rate at this point, being beware of their secret that hides their true identity.

“W-wait, Jeonghoon can you give us a minute to t-talk?”

“No more time needed, just tell me right away!” I stood up, feeling alarmed at them. They all posed a taken aback expression at my frightful demeanor.

“Are you girls belong in some crazy ass cult or what? Because you girls didn’t disposed the fact that she drank blood means one thing only that you girls know about this and this just seems normal to yall. Thinking that you girls ain’t normal makes me wanna leave this room already!”

“Jeonghoon, please wait!”

They all stood up at the same time, which even looked like more creepy to me. I stepped backwards, being defensive for myself. “NO! DON’T YOU DARE TAKE ANY MORE STEP COME NEAR ME!”

I looked at the door at the near end of the hallway, which helped me to plan what I have to do after. I gotta get out of this place as they all soon to come after me. I better hurry out and ran as fast as I can.

Just as I had a plan formulated in my mind, the elegant girl took our attention when she suddenly yelled that I couldn’t even consider if she actually yelled because of how light like a feather her voice was.

“W-we are v-vampires, that’s why!”

They all gasped unbelievably at their friend who just exposed and retreated at their guilt.

“MINA! WHY DID YOU SAY IT?!” The bangs girls got infuriated at her.

“I-I just couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t lie!”

“Shit… you all are…” I looked at them and soon the sight of them looking like these precious set of women goes shifting into this unimaginable monsters that I never wanted to come across with.

“Oh god… so that’s probably why you all took me, to feed me to become more healthy… so that later tonight you all can eat me and have my blood huh! You girls like the dark and a fresh blood, like what that girl said!” I hauntingly said while pointing at Nayeon who lowered her head, probably felt pain at my accusation.

“Guess what, you all can’t have it. Because I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE!”

“GIRLS, GET HIM!

I moved as fast as I can, sprinting to the door and tried to open it. I looked back to see all the girls except Jihyo, the wolfcut one, Nayeon, and the thighs girl not joining the rest who is chasing after me.

I realized that there’s a keypad underneath the knob. I remembered that Chaeyoung told me that I have no chance of getting out of here because their door is secured with a pass code.

OH SHIT! 

“HELPPP!!! HELP ME!!!”

I pounded the door as loud as I can before I felt the bangs girls tackled my lower part and pulled my legs, sliding me to the ground with my front colliding on the floor.

Meanwhile, Jihyo and the wolfcut girl was talking about something when I saw the tall girl suddenly speak with them.

“Just tell him the truth, unnie. We can’t do anything about it already. It’s too late.”

“Nowhere to run, Jeonghoon!” Chaeyoung said to me before she maniacally smugs and laughs. I saw a glimpse of her fangs growing wiith her pupils shrinking and eyes glowing into color red.

“GET OFF ME!!! NO, PLEASE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE M-RAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

The three of them just watched the rest pulled my body away from the door as I clawed in the front while screaming in dread and terror, with my fate unknown being at the possession of these girls who turned out to be vampires in disguise.

[marsspeedway]

COD HEADCANONS! (1?)

This is translated from Spanish so I'm really sorry if there is a translation error or a word that shouldn't be there!

SIMON RILEY GHOST

His casual outfit is really simple: jeans and a t-shirt or hoodie, his shoes of choice (usually his sneakers or boots) and a leather jacket if it's a more "formal" outing (a date?) or if he feels like dressing up.

Yes yes, balaclava on the base and cloth mask off the base.

Due to his past he has developed a defense mechanism of making jokes to "get over" or lighten his trauma.

After the betrayal of his team and his capture by Robas he basically got used to survive with very little. Therefore: he doesn't eat much, doesn't sleep much and is always in alert mode.

His chuckles are low, deep and feel mocking 99% of the time even though they are not. Instead his real laughter, his guffaws, are LOUD but very very strange to hear.

This man does NOT have a driver's license.

He has constant nightmares and/or night terrors so he tends to sleep very little.

Simon "Ghost" Riley is sleep deprived.

Ghost is the soldier, Simon is the human. So, Ghost is the armor that protects Simon, the tough exterior that protects the sensitive and too fragile interior. 

His room is simple, he doesn't have many belongings and the few he has are really valuable for him.

Ok yes, "Ghost collects knives" or "Ghost collects guns" but... Ghost collects lighters.

Bonus if you think he's a smoker.

Bonus X2 if you think he's an EX-Smoker!

Sleeping near Soap, or cuddling him, surprisingly calms him down (considering how much he dislikes and discomforts physical contact).

Soap is like his safe place, then Price follows, but he doesn't get that close to him physically (almost not at all really).

His closeness to Price has been very helpful to him, the man is a great listener and a great advisor and Simon can't thank him enough for always being there when he needs a shoulder to lean on or someone to give him good advice.

Ghost's "Fucking hell..." at the moment of meeting Soap in MW2 is mainly because he didn't expect to meet him again, he didn't expect to see him again after Makarov, let alone have to WORK with him again. It's not that he dislikes him, he just didn't expect the guy to be HIS sergeant instead of Price's.

During "Alone" Ghost tells jokes and talks to help Soap through the bad time, to calm him down and help him move forward but he also does it for himself because damn: just betrayed at the border of a country/city they don't know, with the colonel who received them captured, with a (his) wounded and messed up sergeant who is the only ally he has right now and who in turn is trying to get to him, with mercenaries nipping at their heels... I think the poor guy has a right to be a little bad. Well, Simon is bad because Ghost seems to be hiding it well.

Hairless?

He tends to eat fast, very fast.

JOHN "SOAP" MACTAVISH

He told Price that they should make varsity jackets with the Task Force logo on them...

Guess who has varsity jackets with the Task Force logo on them?

OG!Soap (2009) hates dogs (according to a line of dialogue) but personally I think Reboot!Soap (the current Soap, the one from 2022) likes them quite a bit.

He's a bit (too much) hyperactive.

He tends to gift and buy things for Ghost, little trinkets or things he knows Simon can use. It goes from clothes to some toy he thinks Ghost might like, they are usually toy soldiers, little action figures or legos (or anything that reminds him of Ghost).

Simon keeps them all. Every single one, even if it's a rock or a note that Soap left him or a doodle that Soap gave him.

He's a freaking master with butterfly knife tricks.

No, he doesn't use them to impress Ghost....

Maybe he does...

Ghost pretends the tricks don't impress him but they do.

He gives me Golden Retriever Boyfriend vibes that can send a bomb to your house.

Let's not forget he's a 30 year old man, military, explosives expert who basically operates in an elite task force... I mean, he could easily kill you. But, still, he's got a nice vibe, he's sociable and it's hard to dislike him.

Bookworm! He'll devour a book in a matter of hours and if he likes it enough he'll do an essay or summary.

He's a homebody with a big, big family. And he would love to have his own family with his own little house in the camp.

To pass the time he usually draws and occasionally writes in his journal. That thing is a little bit of everything: drawings, notes, stories, a personal diary, etc. Anything goes in there.

He cuts his mohawk himself and also usually takes care of rookies' hair, or really anyone who asks (nicely).

He can actually do more than cut mohawks or shave heads, his mother knows how to cut hair and he learned how to do it himself.

You want him to braid your hair? Of course, he's the one! He grew up with several sisters, so of course he knows how to braid. Ponytails? Go ahead. A bun? Sure. You ask and he'll know what to do and if he doesn't, he'll find it.

He can cook a little, just enough to get by and not live on instant noodles and take-out.

[garfinkelstingle]

heyy, I absolutely loved you timothée's fake ig posts. if you don't mind, could you do a part 3 for that one with blanca as face claim? that's ok if not. ty <3

social media au | timothee chalamet

click here for part one

click here for part two

pairing: timothee chalamet x celebrity!reader

warnings: swearing?? should be about it

a/n: HELLO!!!! it's been a hot minute! life has been lifing pretty hard right now (not even necessary in a bad way just in a "a lot" way) and so i've barely had time to breathe let alone post stuff on tumblr! but alas, winter break is here and i thought why not!!!! hope everyone's doing well & that you're happy with part 3 nonnie, even if it took me a literal eternity!! enjoy :) oh and also merriest of chritsmases to everyone celebrating!!!!

masterlist

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh and 1,321,439 others

yourinstagram fries before guys ;)

view all 38,392 comments

sydney_sweeney too cute

yourfan97 oh to be a fry on y/n's place...

yourfan62 timothee chalamet is stronger than me because if y/n were to look at ME this way, i would be a puddle on the floor and in no way or shape capable of taking a picture of any kind of her 😭

tchamalet but not all guys right????

yourinstagram obviously

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan81 timmy really won the jackpot with y/n huh??????

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, austinbutler and 1,922,348 others

tchalamet stay spooky

view all 91,392 comments

zendaya scary boi

yourinstagram the scariest

*liked by zendaya, tchalamet

florencepugh you should do a edward scissorhands reboot lol

tchalamet this is my petition for just that

*liked by florencepugh

timmyfan72 he literally looks so good how?????

timmyfan99 pov you've never seen edward scissorhands and now don't want to unless timmy plays edward

yourinstagram the edward to my kim ♥️

*liked by tchalamet

yourfan62 no but i'm like 113% convinced this was a couple's costume you cannot change my mind ever

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram and 2,834,283 others

tchalamet feliz cumpleaños mi amor ❤️

view all 132,438 comments

yourfan62 will i ever be okay with this??? the answer is NO NEVER EVER EVER

timmyfan89 timmy really is beyond in love with her it's too cute i literally can't 😭😭😭😭

tomholland2013 hey y/n happy birthday mate!

yourinstagram thanks tom!!!

timmyfan91 happiest of birthdays to the one that makes timmy the happiest (thus making us fans even happier) 🤍

*liked by yourinstagram

yourinstagram ti amo ❤️

tchalamet ❤️❤️

yourfan62

liked by timmyfan13 and 27,382 others

yourfan62 NO BECAUSE WHO GAVE THEM THE FUCKING RIGHT TO BE THIS FUCKING PERFECT IM LITERALLY SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AAAHHHHH

view all 1,392 comments

timmyfan73 they are my literal parents i do not care what anyone has to say i am their child and that's that

yourfan93 WHERE DO YOU HAVE THIS FROM?????

yourfan62 they were seen together in LA not too far from timmy's house yesterday 😭😭

timmyfan66 honestly i'd bet my left foot that they're living together i mean she's seen there CONSTANTLY now even when he seems to be out of town

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, haileesteinfeld and 3,283,128 others

yourinstagram forever vacay w u <3

view all 45,283 comments

jennaortega too cute!!

florencepugh crashing your vacation next time cause this just looks too good to pass up on

yourfan62 ok but they are literal soulmates i said what i said

timmyfan18 the arms around her neck no i'm nOt okay 😭😭

tchalamet forever & always

*liked by yourinstagram

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, tomholland2013 and 2,381,482 others

tchalamet 365.

view all 98,329 comments

haileesteinfeld can't believe it's already been a year of you and tiny foot!!!!

yourinstagram my feet aren't tiny his are just... never mind 💀

*liked by haileesteinfeld, tchalamet

timmyfan71 HOW HAS IT BEEN A YEAR ALREADY WHAT???

harrystyles i do feel entitled to credit considering that i took this masterpiece of a picture

yourinstagram & counting

*liked by tchalamet

yourfan62 NO BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE FOR CLOSE TO A YEAR TOO I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN CALLING THIS FROM THE BEGINNING IM A FUCKING GENIUS

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh and 4,382,419 others

yourinstagram time really does fly by fast when you're happy, huh? can't believe it's already been a year of absolute and utter bliss with my favorite person by my side ❤️ here's to infinity to come!!!

view all 373,328 comments

yourfan62 i wanna gloat but i'm also crying because these two are absolute and utter perfection 😭😭😭

timmyfan90 thanks for making timmy happy you're literally all he talks about in interviews!!!

niallhoran happy anniversary bubs!

zendaya otp

timmyfan19 i want what they have 😭

tchalamet i love you

yourinstagram my everything 🤍

timmyfan82

liked by yourfan62 and 7,382 others

timmyfan82 timothee posted this picture on his story yesterday of him and yourinstagram in the car together and honestly my life has not been the same since 😭

view all 162 comments

yourfan62 they are literal couple goals i can't with them honestly

timmyfan18 the way there's nothing i wouldn't do for them

timmyfan73 no bc if they ever break up i will NEVER believe in true love ever again 😭

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, ,zendaya and 4,281,390 others

yourinstagram addition to the family <3 say hi to oscar!!!!

view all 180,284 comments

haileesteinfeld omg oscar's the cutest thing ever!!!! can't wait to hang out with him soon 🥺

florencepugh the cutest wee little puppy i have ever seen

yourfan62 THEY GOT A PUPPY TOGETHER I REPEAT THEY GOT A PUPPY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!

timmyfan77 never have a i ever wanted to be a dog more than i do right about now

tchalamet oscar's officially my second favorite living thing in the world

yourinstagram the first one being?

tchalamet you. only you.

yourinstagram's story

[kenchosaikuo]

This is my first ever one-shot, fanfic, sort of post so bear with me if it is really bad.

The idea for this is how I think the Across the Spider-verse characters would react to you kissing them with lipstick on. Be warned it will probably be horrifically ooc or maybe it won’t, never tried writing from another characters perspective before. Tried to be gn!Reader but might lean a little more to the feminine side. It’s also not in any particular order.

Miles Morales

This boy would be a mix of nervous and flustered at the same time. Bonus points if you grab his face while you kiss him, he would short circuit in a second. He’d bounce back after a minute but still be pretty flustered, would definitely stumble over his words while trying to act like he’s ok. Would try to hide how red his face is by covering them with his hands, if you pull them away from him. Oh boy. Prepare for the rebooting process. May or may not take longer than 5 minutes. Would probably wash the mark off, y’know because of his parents and all.

“I- Uh- um. T- thank you f-for um.. that. Um. It felt n-nice” “You good baby?” “Y-yea I’m good.” “You stuttering a lot. You sure you’re good babe?” “Yea. Just need a few minutes to reboot”

Gwen Stacy

Would have a more controlled reaction. She would be flustered but wouldn’t show it as much as Miles would. She’d probably get a little red on the ears and on the cheeks but other than that she’d be ok. She might stumble over her words a bit and look away as to hide some embarrassment. Would definitely tell Hobie about what happened and talk about how life is going. Bonus points if you use her own lip stick. Would probably wash the mark off so her dad doesn’t know.

“Dang you got rizz like that” “If it’s making you smile like that, then I guess I do” “Wait is that my lipstick though” “Sure is” “Rizz 9000”

Peter B. Parker

(This is before MJ and Mayday)

I feel like he’d get slightly flustered by it but not so much so to where he would stumble over words. Almost like Gwen. He would pull you in and give you kisses in return too. Whether it be on the forehead, the lips, or anywhere else expect a kiss in return. Would probably tell you to do it again. After a few minutes of sitting on the couch and exchanging little pecks I imagine it would turn into a little movie night with just sitting there and exchanging kiss while the movie plays. Might get distracted when the movie gets good though. Would probably forget about the mark and just leave it there.

“Wait hold on I’m lost. Is she dating him or is she dating the other guy” “Wait what, I thought she was with him and she cheated on him with other guy. Dang it P now I’m confused” “Oh well this movie was confusing anyway. Now where were we?”

Miguel O’Hara

Would enjoy it. Hands down. Would let you do it. Depending on where you kissed him he would have different reactions. So like on the forehead or cheek, the more sweet areas I feel like he’d kiss you back in the same place. If you did it on the lips, depending on the time and place, it could potentially turn into a little make out session. Now, should you do it on the neck you better prepare yourself for when he’s done working. He’d also probably do it back to you as well. I mean he would get his fangs out and bite you, should you wish. He’ll mark you just like you marked him. Depending if the relationship is known or unknown to others depends if he’ll keep the mark there. If the relationship known he’ll keep the mark there until he showers (if even takes a break from his work). If the relationship is unknown he’ll try to keep it there as long as possible but if he’s gotta go that lipstick stain is coming off.

“Hermosa, what did you just do?” “Nothinggg?” “Sure. Come here Hermosa” “Yes?” “*Bites down on readers neck* Now we are even” “How is that anywhere near even”

The Spot

Would probably get real giddy and happy about it. Cause you know like after he got turned into the spot he’d get turned down by a lot of people cause they mean so it would make him happy to know he’s still loved and not considered a monster in one persons eyes. Anyways, he’d be really happy and would make sure to keep the mark on there just in case he runs into the Spider-Man’s so he can show that he’s loved by someone. Would probably look at Miles and flaunt it. Would make sure the mark stays there. If it rubs off he’ll tell you to kiss him with lip stick on again.

“Guess what Miles, I pulled a girl before you ever could, HA, take that. I’ve got more rizz than you and I ain’t even human no more”.

Jessica Drew

(Before the baby and getting married)

Would get a bit embarrassed about it. I feel like she would like it though. Bonus points if you use her lip stick. She’d probably do the same thing though. Just at a different time to catch you off guard and see you get all flustered and embarrassed. She also seems like the type to not just give one kiss but multiple. Kind of like Peter in a sense. If she were to do it back she would do it multiple times in multiple different areas. Would probably keep the mark there for as long as she could.

“My turn!!” “Wait what Jess hold on” “Mwah and mwah” “I was supposed to be the one to catch you off guard” “Haha, nope”

Pavitr Prabhakar

Would be almost as flustered as Miles but be able to handle said flusteredness better. He’d blush and maybe stutter slightly but he’d be able to cope. Would probably also grab a drink of chai so to calm himself down. He would also definitely get romantic when you do kiss him. He’d probably kiss you back too. Definitely get expect everyone to know. Gwen, Miles, Hobie, Peter, Jess, Miguel even. Everyone is gonna know. Would probably keep the mark there for most of the day too.

“Pav did you really need a cup of Chai to calm down” “N-No, I just like the taste of it” “Sure, but you got it just at this moment in time, can’t be a coincidence hmm??” “Anyways so how’ve you beennnn”

Hobie Brown

He’d probably do it right back. He’d take the lip stick and kiss you all the same way you did him. Alongside Pav and Spot he’d flaunt it everywhere he goes. He would not get flustered either, he’d be surprised but not flustered. I’ve the feeling he’d tell you to do it again and again until his face is peppered in lip stick marks. Would definitely leave the lip stick marks there. May or may not avoid taking a shower just so they stay on longer.

Oi!! Whatcha doing there” “Just giving you a little kiss” “Well you’re doing it in the wrong spot mate. It’s supposed to be on the lips not on the cheek” “Or I could not do it at all??” “Alright point taken, go on”

The End :D

It you enjoyed reading that let me know. OH and give me suggestions too and any critiques you might have. Anything that’s helpful to my writing is gladly appreciated.:D

[factual-fantasy]

I has 21 asks! :DDD🌟🌟

@minophlia

@ocinstituterep

I'm not sure if they would line their coats with the Captains fur,, <XD I'm not sure my Barnacles would even shed! My Barnacles has his fur cut really short to accommodate for the warm climate. Which is why he has to wear a coat like the rest of the crew when he goes to the Arctic!

@elegysonnet

Awe, thank you! And I'd sayyy.. its probably cookies and cream. If that counts?? XD If thats not what you meant than milk chocolate-

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

XDD I love all the theories! Your enthusiasm means the world! And don't worry, you wont be in the dark for long.. 👀👀

@artist-of-obsessions

aaa thank you so much!! That means the world!! :DD

That's a really interesting detail actually, I'll have to take note!

@toaster-os

I have not actually, it looks really cute though! :DD

@boxofcreampuffs

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! 😭😭

Thank you so much!! :DD

Yes, please do take it down. That would be greatly appreciated 🙏

@thatwolfnamednyla

XD I forgot about that game, too funny!

@tmelvinborg31

I'm excited but also preparing to be greatly disappointed...

I kind'a saw it comin. I think everyone did-

I'm not disappointed, I think its a cool and mysterious plot line to have :00 Also I didn't notice the Monty carpet! Very interesting,,

Also this doesn't change my Monty at all obviously. <XD I made him a good guy out of pure spite and I'm KEEPING him that way!

Unfortunately Vanessa is not part of the Fazfam <XD

As for her importance, I cant specify too much.. but I will say that she does indeed play a big part in the over all story of my au. 👀👀

@spookylightblizzard

Yeah I did, it made me kind'a sad :( But honestly good for him. The man deserves a good retirement for voicing a lot of our childhoods ✨🌟✨

@excalibent

Thank you <:) I'm doing my best!

@graycoin

I was thinking it'd be less visual differences and more internal. Although I haven't fully decided what the differences will be-

Some ideas I had was maybe Peach and the others are Herbivores? What if they can only eat fruits and veggies and Mario sees a slab of cooked meat and he's just like "OO STEAK" and chomps into it and everyone just looks at him like

ALSO! Maybe Peach has to sleep a lot more than Mario does. OR maybe a lot less? Imagine if peach only needed 4 hours of sleep and then she was wide awake. Or maybe the opposite? Imagine if 12 hours is a standard amount of sleep they need. Mario is running around at 7 AM on 8 hours of sleep and Peach is like "whyyyy are you uppp so earlyyy go back to sleeeppp"

Or SHES up at 4 AM like "Mario are you up? Hey Mario are you awake? Do you want breakfast? I made you breakfast. Its cake I hope that's okay-"

I also imagined temperatures! I mostly imagined that Peach cannot handle the heat what so ever. Mario's out there in 35°C (95°F) heat and Peach is tucked away in her dungeon like a vampire. Or the OPPOSITE?? Its 40°C (104°F) and she's out there gardening and Mario is cooped up inside just miserable <XD

ANyways, I think you get the point. Differences like is what I had in mind. 😅😅

Cassie's not in it because I just kind'a dont like her entire existence XDD But maybe she could be a friend of Gregory's down the road when he grows up yeah.

Also I love/hate the DLC. I think its really pretty, I LOVE how it leaned more towards a horror theme this time..

Buuuuuut all the complicated lore stuff put me off. Cassie, the Mimic, the big purple glitchy bunny thing. Uhhhgg.. I love this franchise but I wanna punch it really hard sometimes. <XD

@skywillow28022

All of the bots got a system reboot after Gregory's first night there, as a safety precaution. Moony included. As to how the reboot effected him specifically and if he's still infected? Well I guess we'll just have to wait and see.. 👀

[sherifftillman]

Happy to Help

Pairing: Keys x f!Reader Genre: smut (18+, minors DNI) Word count: 3.7k Summary: Forgetting you'd spoken to customer support from your favourite game leads to something getting sent to the wrong person. A/N: Listen, I know there's a set-up for potentially more. I would like to write potentially more. But nothing puts a writer off more than demands for a part 2, okay? For now, enjoy my first ever Keys fic. :)

Welcome to Free City Customer Support. We appreciate your patience. Connecting you to a member of our team…

Keys: Hi there! What seems to be the problem today?

You: hi, my screen is like. frozen dead. can't do anything, can't click anything. can't alt-tab out, can't ctrl-alt-delete. but i made a lot of progress between save points and idk if it can still be salvaged

Keys: Oof, yeah, that's the worst. Hopefully we can get you back up and running. Real quick, are you sure it's not your internet? I mean, you seem like you know your way around a computer, just worth double-checking, if it's your network then there's not a lot I can do.

You: yeah, sorry, should have added that. everything else that connects to my internet is working. i have an error message if that helps?

Keys: Yes! That's amazing! Can you send me it, please?

You: it says "error 72816: attempting patch repair"

You: there was a spinning buffering wheel in the corner but it gave up the ghost about twenty minutes ago.

Keys: Interesting. I don't remember making that error message, let alone what would trigger it. Are you sure that's what it says? No typos?

You: you wound me.

You: jk jk sorry this is a Very Professional Customer Support Exchange. no, definitely no typos.

Keys: Hahaha, don't worry, I've read far worse messages from people today, that made me laugh!

Keys: This is a little unorthodox but I'm wracking my brain here and I can't think of another solution. If I give you my work phone number, would you text me a photo of your screen?

Keys: Usually, I'd ask for an email of a screenshot, but, well…

You: yeah sure, whatever gets me out of this purgatory.

Keys: Super appreciate your patience here. My number is: 

Keys: [redacted]

Keys: Okay, got it, deleted the message with my number so it won't show up in chat history, in case you're wondering. Data protection and all.

You: the professional techie guy with the techie-ass nickname being cautious about cyber security? groundbreaking.

Keys: Haha! You got me there!

Keys: Oh! Wait! Are you registered as a beta tester?

You: no?? i didn't know that was a thing??

Keys: Yeah, all ours are internal and I don't recognise your username in our database, now that I've pulled it up. I think you must have just slipped through the cracks, let me look into the code of our new test area and see if I can boot you back out.

You: ooh, are you gonna come bursting in through my door with a swat team to erase my memory, too?

Keys: I'm just a "professional techie guy" here, not a Man In Black, haha. 

Keys: Hey, I see you!

Keys: In this code, I mean.

Keys: It's showing up that there's an unauthorized player.

Keys: That's what I meant.

You: well yeah, didn't think you were in my walls or anything

Keys: Just making sure! Didn't want you really thinking I was stalking you or anything.

Keys: Still don't remember making that error message, but that's another mystery, I guess.

You: ooh, maybe the game's becoming sentient and it's outgrowing us all!

Keys: There's that imagination again!

Keys: I'm gonna reset your position to your safehouse, hopefully also keeping your progress intact? If this doesn't work then a hard reboot is unfortunately the only other way.

You: you're a doll.

You: AHHHH IT WORKED I'M BACK AND I STILL GOT A SICK ASS BIKE WAITING FOR ME IN MY GARAGE

You: THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHHHH

Keys: Pleasure's all mine, glad I could help. Please reach out if it happens again! Or if you have any other issues!

You: will do. so long, techie guy. thanks for everything!

Keys: Happy playing!

— — — —

It's been a relatively quiet Friday evening for you. Nobody's made any plans to go out, and you're unsure yourself whether you have the energy to. You've pretty much spent your whole day gaming, so you should probably fill your social battery a little, but do you really want to go to a bar by yourself?

You glance over at your phone and smirk at it. There is that guy you've been talking to… Maybe you'll send him something to spice the night up.

Once you've done your hair and make-up to add to the whole look, you find your cutest set of underwear, put it on and take a couple of selfies until there's one you're especially pleased with. Your muscle memory has you tapping three message contacts down, where he always is since you've been texting friends all day, and sending the photo on autopilot with the message: Hey, you.

You giggle with delight when your phone chimes almost immediately after - you've really got this guy whipped, huh - but are surprised to see you've apparently forgotten who else you texted today.

[8:23pm] Keys: OH

[8:23pm] Keys: OH NO

[8:23pm] Keys: I think

[8:23pm] Keys: You've sent this

[8:24pm] Keys: To the wrong person

[8:24pm] Keys: I'm so sorry I saw that!

[8:25pm] You: that's okay, i don't mind that you saw it. :)

[8:25pm] You: besides, burning the midnight oil, still being at your work phone?! don't they have out of hours customer service?

[8:29pm] Keys: I… Might have lied about this being my work phone. I normally have one, but it's getting fixed so I thought I would get away with saying it was a work line to help you out.

[8:30pm] You: and then i went and accidentally sent you an unsolicited lewd. sorry.

[8:36pm] Keys: It was just a shock, is all!

[8:38pm] You: well, since we're both here, and since you haven't deleted the photo yet despite how quickly you deleted your number from the chat log earlier, *and* how long it's taking you to reply, what do you think?

[8:40pm] Keys: Oh god, you're so right, I'm so sorry, I'll delete it now.

[8:40pm] You: don't!

[8:40pm] You: like i said, i want your feedback on it now.

[8:41pm] Keys: Oh! Well, it's very nice.

[8:41pm] You: nice?! ouuuuch.

[8:42pm] Keys: What do you mean? Nice is a compliment!

[8:43pm] You: yeah, from your grandma when you've given her a birthday card. c'mon, i can take it. tell me what you REALLY think. :)

[8:50pm] Keys: I… I think you're very attractive.

[8:51pm] You: there you go! it's super adorable that you're stammering over text, btw.

[9:01pm] Keys: [image attached]

[9:01pm] Keys: It felt weirdly unbalanced that you at least didn't know what I looked like, too.

[9:02pm] You: well damn, no wonder they call you keys, because you are just my *type!*

[9:02pm] You: get it?

[9:03pm] Keys: …That was cheesy as hell.

[9:03pm] Keys: But I like cheese :]

[9:03pm] You: oh yeah? give me your cheesiest pick-up line 

[9:13pm] Keys: Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe!

[9:13pm] You: i award that 🧀🧀🧀/5. you could be cheesier.

[9:19pm] Keys: Okay, fine.

[9:20pm] Keys: Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for.

[9:22pm] You: 🧀🧀🧀🧀. are YOU google because i'm feeling lucky. ultimate cheese has no comeback. c'mon, you're so close.

[9:26pm] Keys: Oof, okay, give me a sec.

[9:28pm] Keys: Although really you should never use Google if you can help it, they already datamine so much information out of you that the less you use any Google product, the safer you are. I use DuckDuckGo myself, but you should really do your own research when it comes to cybersecurity rather than just blindly trust someone, even if they are a professional.

[9:28pm] You: keys.

[9:29pm] Keys: Right. Sorry.

[9:38pm] Keys: If you were a grade, you'd be A+, because I want to take you home and show you to my parents.

[9:39pm] You: okay, that wins. maximum cheese for keys 🧀🧀🧀🧀🧀

[9:39pm] You: next ranking category: 🌶️ 

[9:39pm] You: let's see what you got, hot stuff

[9:45pm] Keys: What?! I can't just send you stuff like that! That's so forward!

[9:46pm] You: keys you've seen my tits

[9:46pm] You: i think we're past that

[9:55pm] Keys: Accidentally!

[9:55pm] You: and all the time you spend scrolling back up to it is "accidental", too?

[9:56pm] Keys: …How could you tell?

[9:57pm] You: every now and then you take a little bit longer between messages. just assuming you're scrolling up lol

[9:56pm] You: like i keep saying. i don't mind at all. you don't have to be shy around me

[9:58pm] Keys: Well, since all my cards are apparently on the table so obviously…

[9:58pm] Keys: Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a foot-long.

[9:59pm] You: ????? talk about 0-60! also i think that deserves negative 🌶️ for the psychic damage it caused me to read

[10:00pm] Keys: You just turned my software into hardware.

[10:00pm] You: what happened to "that's so forward", eh?

[10:01pm] You: but, credit where it's due, 🌶️🌶️. normally a 🌶️ but from you it's like a 2.5/5

[10:01pm] Keys: Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.

[10:01pm] You: oh

[10:02pm] You: oh my god

[10:02pm] You: oh you sweet boy, you're googling them, aren't you

[10:02pm] You: or whatever you use instead

[10:04pm] Keys: Some of us need the extra help! We're not all as smooth as you.

[10:04pm] You: sure you are, baby, you just need to get comfortable

[10:05pm] Keys: But I'm already on my bed!

[10:05pm] You: not just in that way! try taking something off

[10:06pm] You: and then send me proof 😇

[10:11pm] Keys: [image attached]

[10:11pm] Keys: ;]

[10:12pm] You: taking off your glasses doesn't count, dork!

[10:12pm] Keys: [image attached]

[10:12pm] Keys: like this?

[10:13pm] You: holy fuck

[10:13pm] You: hi you're hot

[10:14pm] Keys: Hahaha, thank you? I still don't feel any more charismatic, though!

[10:15pm] You: well, going back to your line about being like a good grade you wanna take home… does that maybe mean you also want to pin me up on the fridge?

[10:18pm] Keys: Well, the fridge isn't very sturdy. I think I'd rather do that against the wall.

[10:18pm] You: okay now *that’s* hot

[10:18pm] You: and what would you do with me once you'd pinned me to the wall? 

[10:24pm] Keys: I'm not very good at all of the imaginative talk stuff that sounds sexy. Even using the word seems like the total opposite of what I'm trying to do.

[10:25pm] You: not at all, sometimes bluntness is the sexiest thing of all.

[10:29pm] Keys: Well, I'd really like to kiss you. All over, actually. 

[10:29pm] You: *all* over?

[10:31pm] Keys: Yeah. The way you were posing made your neck look amazing.

[10:32pm] Keys: Oh god, now I sound like a vampire

[10:34pm] You: i promise you don't, that was my intention when i took it lol. besides, vampires are sexy as hell. i'd love it if you kissed my neck

[10:34pm] You: would you touch me?

[10:35pm] Keys: Wouldn't I be holding you against the wall?

[10:36pm] You: true, but there's other ways. like, you could put your leg between mine to keep me in place

[10:37pm] You: mmm, and then i could grind against your thigh while you keep this little promise of kissing and touching me *all over*

[10:37pm] You: does that sound good?

[10:41pm] Keys: Oh god yes

[10:43pm] You: and then that leaves my hands free to touch you, too. i wanna play connect the dots with those cute little moles of yours

[10:47pm] Keys: Oh my god

[10:48pm] Keys: that made me want to trace them myself for some reason and that felt so good

[10:49pm] You: you're touching yourself AND not paying attention to grammar anymore? for lil ol' me?

[10:49pm] You: that deserves a reward, i think 

[10:51pm] You: [image attached]

[10:51pm] You: i seem to have lost my bra, come over and help me find it?

[10:58pm] Keys: holy shit 

[10:58pm] Keys: can i just say what i'm thinking and then you can tell me if i'm going to far 

[10:59pm] You: i think you mean *too, nerd boy, but yes, i'd love that

[11:06pm] Keys: sorry typing is getting difficult at the moment

[11:11pm] Keys: i want to hold them so bad. they look amazing, especially with your nipples so hard

[11:11pm] You: when you say typing is difficult, are you touching yourself right now?

[11:12pm] You: because now i'm playing with my nipples and wishing it was you

[11:13pm] You: tell me, baby. you want me to rub them? squeeze them? you wanna come over and suck on them?

[11:17pm] Keys: i want to feel them get hard. want to touch them while i kiss you

[11:17pm] You: attaboy! i knew you had it in you

[11:19pm] You: they're so sensitive now. and humping my pillow as if it’s your leg isn't enough, can i touch myself for you, please?

[11:23pm] Keys: oh god yes please do

[11:23pm] You: are you okay to call? i have a feeling both of us are getting preoccupied now

Your phone lights up with the name "Keys Freecity" and you immediately put it on speaker, letting the phone rest on your pillow next to you. "Well, hey there."

"Uh, hi." His voice is shaking and his breath is hitching.

"You know, you never told me if you were touching yourself or not," you point out.

"I - I am," he stammers out, and you purr back.

"God, I wish I was there to do that for you. Or at least to watch. I bet you look so fucking good right now. What are you thinking about, then, huh?"

"I was, uh… Thinking, about… The way you look up in those photos… And…" He falters out, but you hear the faintest groan, still.

"Aw, you want me to suck you off, baby?" You tease. "Thinking about me looking up at you? My lips wrapped around your cock? Mmm, I bet it's so big I can barely fit, huh?"

"I… I mean, it's not the sandwich I promised earlier, but… It's definitely bigger than… Average," Keys explains, and you don't hold back on the moan that hearing that news elicits from you.

You still laugh softly at his joke. "Yeah, I could tell, baby. Fuck, when are you coming over and splitting me in half already?"

"God, I wish I could," he replies in a strained voice. “Also, it’s really - hot when y- you call me that.”

"Yeah? And how do you like it, baby? You wanna fuck me on my back, so you can keep watching me as you play with me? Or you wanna be the one to lay there and take it while I bounce on your dick? Or d- do you wanna just - bend me over and - fuck me senseless, huh?" As you finally give into temptation, sliding your hand beneath your panties and finally giving your clit the attention it's been craving for far too long, your breath hitches and your voice gets weaker.

“Oh, god, I… All of it, god, please, I don’t care, just want you,” he groans through the phone.

“I want you too, baby, you sound so good,” you croon sultrily, rubbing yourself in faster, tighter circles. “Are you close, hm? Gonna cum for me? I wanna hear you get off so bad.”

“Wanna - wanna get off for yo- with you, want you, please,” he whines.

“Mmm, tell me one more time, baby. What are you thinking of now?” You ask as you sink a finger inside of you. “Thinking of fucking me, yet?”

“Mm - mm-hm,” Keys whimpers. “You - You on top of me, talking like that and - and riding me, treating my cock so good.”

“I’d treat you so good, baby," you groan, adding another finger. "And you'd fill me up, wouldn't you? Fuck me - oh, right there," you whine as you curl your fingers to hit just the right spot. "Oh god, Keys, need you inside me."

Something about you saying his name short-circuits his brain. You just about hear his strained string of moans and profanities through the phone, picturing in your head how that sweet face of his must look - eyes glassing over, lips slightly parted, chest heaving. Maybe you’d fuck him with his glasses on. Maybe they’d be clouded over, knocked askew on his face as you bounced up and down on his dick. “Did you just come for me, baby?” you coo, your shoulders tensing and toes curling as you feel your own release building.

"Mm-hm, yeah, made - made a real mess of myself, shit," he half-laughs with exhaustion.

“That’s my good boy,” you smile dazedly, your core convulsing around your fingers. "Want me to cum for you, too?"

"Oh, shit, you haven- where are my - God, fuck, yes, let me hear you s… Say my name," his voice shakes with the effort he's trying to exude confidence into his tone, betrayed by the immediate, "please," that rolls off his tongue.

Closing your eyes, imagining that look on his face again, pressing your phone flush against your ear as if it pulls him closer to you, you finally leg out an, "Oh, god, Keys!" before finally feeling yourself gush down your fingers, past your hand, even. Breathing heavily, you pant, "Shit, baby, I think you made me squirt."

"Is that a good thing?" he asks meekly.

"Very. You doing good, now?"

"Very!" He repeats back to you, breathlessly, making you laugh. "Sorry I was so… Pathetic, I guess. God," his voice muffles as though he's rubbing his face while he talks. "But it did sound like you were into it a little," he points out with a lilt in his voice.

You grin, "I sure did, but if you wanted to do it again, but more… Confidently, I'd be more than happy to do that again. If you wanted."

"I've never really done… Any of that before, like, at all," he starts, and you interrupt him with a laugh.

"Yeah, no shit, Mr Subway!"

"Ah, like I said, that's not entirely untrue," he laughs awkwardly. "But I've especially never done anything with a total stranger, much less someone I helped through work, um, they can't - you wo- please, don't -"

"You mean this isn't standard practice for Free City customer support?" You tease sarcastically, before adding in a serious tone, "I won't tell a soul. Besides, I like having you as my dirty little secret."

He chuckles, "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe the next time you're feeling up to it, we can video call."

"N-Next time?!"

You hurriedly add, "If you wanted, you sounded like you did, if this is the first and last, that's totally -"

"No! I mean, yeah! I mean… If that's… Cool," he stammers.

You smile, "It's very cool. Just gotta be a little more confident. Isn't there something you do when you need that extra boost? Like, surely in the game you gotta be a little more self-assured around trolls and hackers and shit, right?"

He groans, "I was hoping you wouldn't ask about that."

Grinning wickedly, you poke further. "Well, now I have to know. Who are you in the game? Have I ever seen you?"

"I… I play a cop," he admits, sounding as though he'd rather the ground swallowed him whole. "It's usually me and my buddy, and he's - he's a rabbit."

You light up. "Shut the fuck up, you're Dirty Stripper Cop?!"

"Oh god, the players call me that, too?! It's bad enough that Mouser does," he groans in despair.

"No, this is perfect. You just let me know when you’re ready to bring… Dirty Stripper Cop to our little talks, and I’ll be waiting,” you bite back a laugh as you repeat his character’s nickname in the hopes that he’ll still take your offer seriously.

A moment of silence exists between the two of you before he pipes up, “...And what if I still want to talk to you, without… All of this? I mean, if that’s all you want, then I guess, but… I dunno, you still seem really cool, and you made me laugh today, even at work when it felt weird in my cheeks to start smiling. But if this is all you want with -”

The rest of his words get drowned out as you move your phone away from its position to look at your dating app notifications. Keys has apparently not been your only option tonight. And you’ve never been one to commit. But something tells you that this was the best offer you’re getting. And the next one will be. As will the one after that, and that’s not even set in stone, yet. But you’re hoping to guarantee it.

As you return your headset to your ear, he’s still rambling. You cut him off with a simple, “Keys.” He shuts up quickly, and you continue, “I - I meant it. I wanna talk to you again. Maybe more than just this, I dunno, I’m bad at this sorta stuff. But… You’re cute. In more ways than one. And if you wanna keep talking, I’ll try. But that’s all I can promise.”

“That’s enough for me! I’ll, um, I’ll text you in the morning, then? Or is that too soon?”

“I honestly wish I could tell you,” you admit sadly. You hope it gets through to him that your reservations aren’t on his part.

Thankfully for you, he doesn’t seem so keen to give up. “Alright! Well, I suppose I got some cleaning up to do before I get some shut-eye. Um, so I’ll talk to you, tomorrow… At some point. Um, goodnight!”

“Goodnight, baby.”

[ask-the-bone-boys]

ATBB's Future

Hiiii y'all, its uh. been a minute huh

Now that it's been a bit over a year since I put this blog on hiatus, a loootta stuff has happened and changed and i've been doing a loootttta thinking!

Looking back on it, like really really looking, my biggest reason for the hiatus was that at some point the blog just kinda became more of a chore than something I wanted to work on for fun. Ask blogs are a lot of work, even when you're just using talking portraits rather than drawing out every individual answer, and with how much ask culture on tumblr has died out over the years there just wasn't really enough payoff to make it feel worthwhile to keep burning myself out.

I think it's a really good thing I stopped it when I did, because having to deal with all that in my senior year of high school would have been a nightmare. I've actually just finished up my first semester of college now, and there's no way in hell I would've been able to keep up at any rate! With all of this in mind, I've gained a newer perspective about how to approach things going forward.

I'm still really attached to this story. With how much time I've spent thinking about it and developing it in my head, I can't let it go, even if the blog isn't really working out anymore. I keep thinking of different ways I could fix the decisions I made early on, as well as the super cool directions I could take it in in the future, and I just. I GOTTA.

So, I've decided to reboot it entirely as a fic series!

This means that, unfortunately, there won't be nearly as much artwork to accompany it, but it's far more likely for the story to actually progress! Writing is way less draining for me and once I get going I can do it much quicker than art anyway, even though I do still sorta wish I had the spoons to just turn it into a full-blown webcomic instead haha

This DOES mean that updates won't be nearly as linear as they were here, seeing as right now I've mostly been working on backstory fics that took place before the blog's main story, but that can at least give you guys more context for how the characters interact with each other! I'll also state that while I do write faster than I draw, I still do it a hell of a lot less, so updates will still probably be pretty infrequent. But at least they'll happen at all, right?

As for the state of this blog itself, obviously I'm going to leave it up! I still love looking back on the old interactions you guys had with my characters and your reactions to certain plot points (your reactions to Fluff tagging along with the rest of the group were my favorite by far) and I think it would actually kill me to erase them. I'll be posting the fic updates here too, just like I did for Self Hatred!

And even if it's not going to be an ask blog anymore, because of how much I still miss that kind of interaction with you guys, I think I want to do a sort of "last hurrah" event, to finally send off the asking format with some good vibes.

You see, there's a character I made up around this time of year two years ago. He's a pretty cool guy, but he doesn't actually show up until a specific turning point later in the story. I've been excited for you guys to talk to him since the day I made him, but a little bummed lately that you may not ever get the chance. I still need to get a lot of stuff prepared, so I'm not quite ready to announce or start anything just yet, but there's a reason I waited until my winter break to start thinking about this seriously.

I think you guys would really like to meet him.

But anyway, that's about all I wanted to say for now! This is a very long post already so it's time I start wrapping it up. As always, thank you all so much for sticking with me, even though I really haven't been consistent through the years. I hope this change doesn't come as too much of a disappointment, and that you'll keep sticking around for the reboot!

[total-drama-brainrot]

If you can change anything about total drama what would you do?

I'd change the writing.

My main gripe with the show's writing is how it treats it's girls.

I know it's a product of it's time, but something about how practically every girl's story arc in the show revolves around a guy (or at the very least, somehow shoehorns in something about her love life) rubs me the wrong way. The only girl who doesn't have an androcentric subplot going on is Heather, until World Tour came along and centralised her whole 'redemption' arc around Aleheather.

Even Katie and Sadie fall into this trap; their whole thing is being unhealthily co-dependant with each other, and yet they're always at odds with each other over a boy (usually Justin).

But the worst offender for me is the way Courtney is treated. Courtney's whole character revolves itself around her feelings for Duncan- to the point that her elimination is literally caused by her being his "love interest" (thanks Harold)- and all of her development as a character stems from Duncan's influence. Meanwhile, all of Duncan's development as a character is entirely introspective, Courtney doesn't really influence anything about him that wasn't already apparent. Maybe she softens his hard outer shell a bit, but we already know that he's got a "heart of gold" behind his tough guy persona so Courtney's influence doesn't really achieve much in terms of Duncan's growth. That's just in Island! In Action and World Tour, Courtney's whole character still revolves around Duncan to the point she becomes obsessive and controlling. Every conflict she faces is centred around Duncan. She's never allowed to grow and change as a person without it somehow circling back to Duncan.

Let these girls have story arcs and conflicts that don't revolve around the men in their lives.

But the writing overall is just... inconsistent? Sporadic. Weirdly paced.

The reboot is the worst victim of poor writing choices, in my opinion, which I know is probably caused by the time constraints due to a significantly shorter allotted runtime, but especially in season two of the reboot there's this constant feeling of wonky pacing and weird plotline priorities. Julia's whole plotline is stilted and the majority of her interesting actions happen off-screen. Subplots are established and built up just to be discarded within the span of an episode or two; i.e. the Rajbow cheating arc, whatever "Normal" Girl has going on, Zee's soda brand deal, Millie's teased character arc and resulting character derailment, ect.

And the main focus of the season? The most boring romantic plot of all time. Priyaleb could've been something great, and I believe that with my whole heart, but the way it actually played out just left a sour taste in my mouth. It wasn't fun to watch, it wasn't engaging or otherwise entertaining to watch, it was just painful. Again, it's the weird pacing and sporadic shifts in narrative that make it all fall apart. I could rant about how disastrous the Priyaleb plot was for hours.

And I really don't mean any disrespect towards the writing team when I say all of this. It's a hard job, made even harder by the time constraints and the limitations they've probably got set in place as a children's show. But I can't help but wonder where this show's potential could've taken it if the writing wasn't so... Like That.

[rescue-ram]

Now I'm curious, how would you adapt a modern version of Mash?

Oh man thank you for giving me pretext to ramble about this. I have too many thoughts about Cursed Hypothetical MASH Reboot.

Genre Change MASH is from the golden age of sitcom and is one of the best examples of the genre. Tragically, really good sitcoms don't get made, and the shorter lengths commissioned mean we wouldn't get space for the sillier or more experimental episodes that make MASH so charming and memorable. This is also why any remake or reimagining could never replace the original. There's also less "suspension of disbelief" with modern audiences, so I think modern MASH would have to have a more grounded setting and consistent time line, so RIP time loop. I think the modern genre that would best fit MASH is dramedy. Classico MASH already had elements of "get 'em laughing so they cry harder" and Hypothetical Remake MASH would play that up. Basically, we're gonna "Better Call Saul" this bitch.

In writing out my ideas below, I realized hitting the main plot beats I imagine makes this sound like. Depressing. Which it kind of would be! But I want to emphasize that in my mind's eye this would still tonally be a comedy right up until It Isn't. Similar to BCS, characters encounter obstacles, handle them in very funny ways, but things Keep Happening and compounding and at the end you realize all those funny things have added up to something horrific and inevitable.

General Thoughts In my beautiful mind, this is five twelve episode seasons, each corresponding to a roughly six month period- the first two seasons are 1951, climaxing with Henry's death, first episode or two of season 3 is Trapper leaving/BJ arriving and then 3/4 is 1952, and the final season is 1953 and the ceasefire. Fortunately, because the characters in MASH are pretty well fleshed out with a lot of traits I think they could be turned into dramedy characters pretty easily, and you can take the Big Things that happen to them and play them straight/expand on them into proper arcs. Also, pulling in more historical details could be really interesting, and an opportunity to unpack how Fully Evil the war in Korea was. In reading more memoirs from doctors who served in MASH units, I was struck by how much contact with international forces they had, and the surprising amount of contact with their Chinese/Korean counter-parts. I think more of both of those things would be fun to incorporate into Hypothetical Remake.

Expanded Roles for Nurses We need more women. And fortunately, we got them! Even though there is Not A Lot of existing canon, I really do think we have enough on the recurring nurses to act as seeds for fuller characters. I would love to see Kellye developed as a supporting character from the start. Struggling to articulate this, but I think a deeper perspective on anti-Asian sentiment could be explored through her, possibly with some connections to the history of colonialism in Korea in particular. The character was described as Chinese and Hawaiian, but given her credited surnames of Yamato and Nakamura getting a little into her Japanese heritage and the resentment of Koreans towards the Japanese could be interesting as well. I also think "Dish" Schneider's conflict, torn between loyalty to her husband/fiancee and her attraction to the handsome funny guy who relentlessly flirts with her, could be a source of drama. I also really like Ginger's recurring "thing" with Trapper in canon, and expanding that into an actual friendship and digging into the racism and taboos against interracial relationships of the period would be interesting. You can take Margie Cutler as a young and inexperienced nurse and give her a little coming of age arc. I would also love for Knocko McCarthy to be a foil for Margaret- as the second most senior nurse, she chafes under Margaret's command and kind of collaborates with the Swampmen to subvert her, culminating in Margaret calling her out that if she didn't side with them against her, they'd hate Knocko too, and them growing closer over the series.

Ho-Jon and Expanded Roles for Korean Characters Many have written about the shitty representation of Koreans in MASH, and Hypothetical Remake could remediate that significantly. I think giving Ho-Jon (or a similar new character) an expanded role would be good, with more ties to his family out of camp and conflict over whether or not supporting the occupying American forces and the south is the right thing to do or the expedient thing. I also think there's some dark comedy to be mined from a slightly subversive Ho-Jon taking advantage of racism and being seen as ignorant or interchangeable to get away with shit. Would love for Black Market Guy to be a recurring character. There's also a great real life story I read where a MASH surgeon formed a bond with a Chinese doctor after accidentally connecting to a PLA radio channel, and I think that could be adapted into a really fun source of comedy (bonding with "the enemy" over shared indignities, surprising similarities, etc) and ultimately drama (Hawkeye finds out about a US or ROK attack that will cripple that doctor's unit or put him in danger- does he say nothing, knowing hundreds will be injured or killed including maybe his new friend, or does he commit treason and risk prison or death to warn him- and how does he live with not knowing what happened when he has to choose inaction?) Any of the Very Special episodes could be adapted and expanded. And of course, Hypothetical Remake would have Korean writers, or consultants, or at the very least a goddamn baby name book so we don't end up with a dozen characters just named Kim, or worse random syllables.

Radar I would love to keep Radar as one of the main POV character throughout the whole series and use his unique position to bridge between different storylines- he's an enlisted man so he has that perspective, he's close with Hawkeye and the surgeons, he's assisting Henry/Potter so he has ties to command, give him a friendship with a nurse and you're set. Given the comedy-to-tragedy arc of dramadys, I would love to take the book detail that he enlisted with dreams of glory and becoming a general and lean fully into that. He starts out season 1 as a sweet naive farm kid flying by the seat of his pants to figure out his job, he gets more and more enmeshed with the military over the course of the series, currying favor with the brass to pull strings to help the unit/his friends/himself, and it ends with Potter giving him a recommendation for officer school- an outcome fully framed as a tragic loss of self to a corrupt institution.

Hawkeye I think Seasons 1 and 2 in particular could be driven by the Hawkeye and Trapper committing outrages and crimes in the name of justice/not giving a shit, and then having to spend the rest of the season engaging in more outrages and crimes to Bugs Bunny their way out of consequences. The central tragedy arcing through the series is the Destruction of Hawkeye Pierce. He starts out determined to stay himself, stick to his principles, and not let the army change him. The glimmer of hope at the end is that he has survived and gets to go home, but At What Cost. I also think making him bipolar makes the most sense- early season Hawkeye hints he's had highs and lows before, but always managed to cope, but under the increasing stress his mental health gets worse. Insomnia due to overwork triggers a manic episode (adapting Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde) about halfway through S1, with a major change in his relationship with Trapper associated with that, and his first on screen depressive episode triggered by Henry's death, which gets him his week of R&R he goes AWOL from. He holds it together through S3 with increasing amounts of self-medication for BJ's sake, and S4's overarching storyline for him is a fully Catch-22 expansion of The Late Captain Pierce with increasing levels of franticness to resolve it, and S5 is a full blown "I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE" crisis culminating in the equivalent of GFA, and a brief psychotic episode triggered by his mood dysregulation and moral injury. An expansion of The Late Captain Pierce would be a great source of absurdity and drama, the ultimate consequence of his alienation of Everyone In Bureaucracy or Command (they all dislike/hate him for his antics and disrespect in S1-3 and no one wants to help him in his predicament, with a few spitefully refusing to help outright), and necessary to explain his presence in Korea in 1953 since his enlistment should've ended by then (since key members of the bureaucracy Hate him they refuse to count the months he was "dead" as part of his service, and his father is in too poor of health/financially strained from his cancer scare to advocate for him successfully stateside). I also think "playing straight" all the nurses breaking up with him after Ceasefire could be interesting. Like, S1 Hawkeye is a ladies man who's saying all the right things and juggling multiple relationships, but after they realize he doesn't Capital L Love any of them they start to distance from him- not unfriendly, but less a source of support. That alienation from others, first with the nurses at the end of S1 then others in camp, causing a vicious cycle of increasingly erratic behavior leading to less support etc culminates in his breakdown towards the end of the series.

Trapper My beloved boy ♥️ who has less of an arc and more of a vibe in existing canon, so we get to make some shit up whole cloth. Either keep the book/movie canon they were friendly in college, or make them childhood friends- not close, but some kind of pre-existing relationship. First episode is them stealing a jeep and bonding as they get into Shenanigans and Danger on their way to camp. Some people have the headcanon that Trapper lost a brother in WWII because of Wayne Rogers' acting choices, and I think a backstory like that could be interesting. He starts out a little ambivalent about the war, not wanting to be there and very aware of the human costs, but also feeling he has a duty. As he and Hawkeye get into more and more Situations trying to expose war crimes or fix injustices and even basic supply issues and are met by indifference or incompetence, he gets disillusioned. After Hawkeye's manic episode, he decided the one Actually Good thing he can accomplish is keeping his friend sane until they can get back home, since he starts to increasingly see his medical work as futile and the UN intervention as hopeless/harmful. They get closer and rely on each other more and more in S2, and in my based and gay pilled vision this is explicitly romantic and sexual, albeit with serious ambiguity if they would've had this relationship outside the trauma of war. Towards the end of S2, Trapper starts to get sick, and it turns out stress and increased alcohol & tobacco use contributed to an ulcer- it almost seems like he'll be sent home, but as in Classico MASH he begins treatment at the 4077th- and then Henry dies. Hawkeye spirals and they have to send him away, and then Trapper has to help pick up the increased work load. His symptoms get worse and he tries to cope and hide it, and develops peritonitis. When he realizes he's going to be evacced to Tokyo and then back to the States, he has a bit of a fucking meltdown. Mission Failed, he can't be there for his friend, and he blames himself because it was partly caused by his alcohol abuse. This is not just me being a Trapper simp, he has to go home before his enlistment is up for plot reasons since we no longer get the benefit of fuzzy timeline, and the genre convention of dramedy is you always Reap The Whirlwind at the worst possible moment.

BJ Ironically, I don't need to change anything about BJ to turn him into a dramedy character. He already has a "negative character arc", and you just take the major beats of that, set them in a linear escalation, and tighten them up. He starts out bright eyed and idealistic, determined to keep his head up, do his duty, and get out. Hawkeye meets him at the air field, having missed Trapper. Hawkeye blames himself for Trapper's health problems, and wants to do better by the new guy, offering him support and guidance. BJ bonds with him through the craziness, but as stress increases he starts acting out in small petty stochastic pranks, and then Peg's letters and missing his family build his anger, and he lashes out at Hawkeye because he suspects (in that "he's not right but he isn't wrong either" way) that Hawkeye's friendship isn't really because of BJ himself but because BJ is Trapper's Replacement. He suspects Hawkeye and Trapper were more than friends and he's simultaneously jealous and repulsed- he wants to totally replace Trapper and for Hawkeye to like him best, but he also loves Peg and misses her terribly and resents Hawkeye for "making" him want him. His chaotic unhinged repression is funny until it's briefly terrifying, then sad. As Hawkeye's mental health deteriorates, he tries to be supportive, but is ultimately overwhelmed by the intensity of Hawkeye's crisis and pulls back, though they mend things somewhat at the end.

The Hawkeye/Trapper/BJ Nexus In summary, our core duos are codependent trainwrecks, but while TrapHawk are more of an enabling and felonious "Thelma and Louise" style folie a deux, BJ and Hawkeye are more of an epic highs and lows "if you can't be with the one you love love the one your with" "hand in unlovable hand" mess.

Margaret Don't have nearly as much to say about our girl because I suck and have been writing this for almost 2 hours now because I'm insane but she has one of the best character arcs in MASH and Hypothetical Remake would really just intentionally start laying out her conflicts and growth from episode 1. She would also have more independent story arcs of trying to manage the nurses, and navigating advancing her career in the face of sexism. I would love to see her messy and complicated relationships with powerful men explored more fully. She bonds with Frank first to have a relationship where she's more in control than with her superiors, then as an ally to push back against the TrapHawk Chaos, then as she grows more confident (and TrapHawk get in over their heads) she is able to let go of the cloak of power military pretensions give her and be more herself.

Henry and Potter Henry remains a lovable incompetent. The one headcanon I have I'd like to use in Hypothetical Remake is that he's pretty severely dyslexic- I base that off his mispronunciations and malapropisms and canonical issues with reading (in Classico MASH doing things like holding a paper upside down or not being able to read maps and the words on them). He got through med school by having his wife read his textbooks out loud and type his papers, and brute force memorization. This is part of why he over relies on Radar to manage his paperwork and is easily scammed into signing off on things- he really can't tell what he's signing unless he uses all of his focus to decipher the text, and he's a trusting person so he rarely does. @marley-manson I LOVE your take that your ideal Potter is the exact same character in the show but the narrative treats him as an antagonist, and that is the vibe Hypothetical Remake would have.

Frank and Charles Again not a lot to say here, secondary characters and minor antagonists, but they would remain big sources of commentary but their pathos would be played up more in a dramedy.

Mulcahy Again, not too much different from canon, just more intentional building of a tragic arc. A smart sensitive guy who grew up poor and thought the church would be a path to respect or maybe even greatness got told to be a math teacher by his diocese, enlisted as a chaplain when the war broke out as part of his personal quest for meaning and significance, is confronted by the horrors and damage to innocent lives but still tries to believe in a greater purpose and good to what's happening, struggles with feelings of powerlessness and futility, and when he's finally able to do something heroic loses his hearing, which costs him his vocation- he's permanently disabled and would be unable to return to his old role as a parish priest/school teacher.

Recurring Characters Sidney my beloved ♥️ We bring back Sam Pak as a returning character. Also General Hammond and other members of the brass. I think Oliver could work really well as a recurring character.

Klinger Whole bundle of thoughts on this guy I wanted to save till the end. Because I adore Klinger, he's incredibly funny and one of the kindest and most principled characters on the show, and he's also incredibly 70s and I don't think could work as he was in a 21st century dramedy. I can see three potential paths to adapting him. A) Lean into the young, brash, hustler side of his personality, and he's a straight guy who thinks the craziest thing someone could do is wear a dress. B) An explicitly gay character who refuses to admit to being gay for a discharge because he finds the idea of being judged less than or broken for his sexuality incredibly offensive, but did drag back in Toledo and also refuses to stop being himself just because he got drafted. C) Principled pacifist serving as an orderly because of the draft who refuses to wear the uniform and started wearing dresses as a protest against bullying/abuse- oh, your gonna call me a sissy and steal my clothes because I refuse to use a gun? I will not only wear a dress, I will zhuzh it up into something amazing, because I would rather wear this outfit you intend to humiliate me with than that damn uniform.

[curiositymemes]

MISTER MAGIC SENTENCE STARTERS : PART TWO.

taken from the 2023 novel by kiersten white. trigger warnings for unreality, trauma, religion, and cults. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

“what do we say about crying?”

“you had a lot of nightmares.”

“at least i don’t snore?”

“i wouldn’t mess with her / him / them.”

“that was really kind. thank you.”

“it’s just what i was supposed to do all along.”

“why do you have it?”

“don’t you remember— no, i guess you don’t.”

“please take this as kindly as possible, but what the hell does that mean?”

“i forgot what a dork you can be.”

“only you could make me do this. you’re as pushy as ever.”

“is this what prom was like?”

“i hate missing free food.”

“we just have to wait a little longer. you’ll see.”

“we could go be beautiful somewhere else, instead.”

“or your ass is mine.”

“what is she / is he / are they doing here? i can’t deal with her / him / them, not right now. not ever.” 

“you know how important tonight is to me.” 

“i’ve worked a long time for this.”

“take me with you. i can’t do this alone.”

“wasn’t it the best?”

“i’ve lived here my whole life.”

“angels were everywhere, if you knew how to recognize them. if you knew how to make a deal.”

“suffer the children, you know.”

“not everything needs a reboot.”

“go home and cry joylessly into your still-in-the-box transformers.” 

“someone’s got to compensate for my terrible influence in his life / her life / your life / their lives.”

“lol delaware isn’t a real place.”

“what is all this talk of killing and death?”

“you’re here now, and you’re going to fix it. you’re going to make it right. you owe us that much, don’t you?”

“i don’t like to think about what happened; the pieces don’t make sense.”

“guess i was wrong about not needing to sneak in our own booze. luckily, i’m always prepared.”

“please don’t tease me.” / “i would never.” 

“everyone will stare.” / “they’re all staring anyway.”

“you! you broke everything!”

“what was that?”

“we won’t let them / him / her do this to you.”

“whatever else she is / he is / they are, name’s a loyal friend.”

“you need this. don’t let them know you have it.”

“you deserve— you all deserve to know.”

“can we get out of here?”

“come on. we’re going to make a bonfire.”

“i woke up in the middle of the night and it was glowing.”

“how do you know how to do this?”

“i can build a fire, administer basic first aid, and bullshit my way into making older people think i’m trustworthy.”

“he / she / they / you didn’t protect me from that.” 

“i’ve never not been a mom / dad / parent.”

“that’s the only time i ever got to be a kid.”

“don’t be a little shit.”

“you never forget the lesson that they would rather destroy you than let you inconvenience them.”

“it’s hard, and you’re doing it anyway.”

“fucktrumpet! shitgibbon! cockwomble!”

“be serious for once!”

“i need to know what happened to her / him / them / you / us.”

“anyone who was looking for you, anyone who took the trouble to find you: they’re not your friend.”

“you have to get out of there. now.”

“you can’t get better until you’ve hit rock bottom. you know that.”

“what if forgetting is a gift?” 

“i wish i could forget it.” 

“we missed you, name.”

“you didn’t give up, even when it got hard and a little scary. sometimes things are a little hard and scary. that’s when we need each other the most.”

“i am losing my mind.”

“i missed you the most.”

“i want it back.”

“i can’t force you to do it. but i need you to do this for me. for us.” 

“weird vibe in here, you guys.”

“please, come with me. nothing here is good for you.”

“i know that sounds sad but it wasn’t.”

“don’t look at me like i’m the one who’s being a bitch.” 

“what the hell? how is that possible?”

“tell me whether i saw what i think i saw.”

“how long have you been down here?”

“we don’t say that.” / “why not? they’re just words.”

“so really, all words are magic. something from nothing.”

“you were always good at words, weren’t you? good at making the others do what you wanted.”

“i’m tired of talking.”

“nothing is more powerful than imagination.”

“we all chose what to remember. or what to forget.”

“maybe it’s a deepfake.”

“fuck me. fuck me, fuck me. fuck all of us.”

“i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry. i didn’t know.”

“i’ll see what they want.”

“name. fuckface. fuckface junior.”

“dunno what i did, dunno how to fix it, don’t really care.” 

“i’m going with you. we do this together.”

“you all realize this is insane, right? this is how we die.”

“at least i’ll go out doing what i love: being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice.” / “no. being an absolute fuckwit making the worst possible choice in the best possible company.”

“is that how it was always supposed to feel?”

“i’m ready to break things.”

“i never would have left you.”

“i won’t let anything happen to you.”

“give me my fucking friends back.”

“tell me how to get you out of here. tell me how to fix it.”

“i believe in you. you protected us all back then, when we didn’t even know you were doing it. let us help you now.”

“we have to buy her / him / them / you time.”

“we should do what we do best.”

“it’s all still here.”

“let’s summon a demon!”

“this is so trippy! and stupid. i think it’s mold.”

“it’s not better in here, name. i know it feels like it could be, but it’s not. it never was.”

“you haven’t forgotten who you were, but you’re even better at it.”

“name is fucking with people who don’t have his / her / their best interests at heart.”

“that’s gotta be driving them insane to watch.”

“i’m nothing without it. i’ve never been anything without it.”

“you’ve always been enough by yourself. no one has ever been as loyal and smart and funny and fierce and deeply, deeply annoying as you.”

“i want to be a person. whole. happy with just myself. but how do we do that?” / “therapy.”

“in today’s session, i’d like to revisit the period of your childhood that was controlled by a minor deity in a pocket universe.”

“you’re all so stupid.”

“i love you, and i’m so proud of you.”

“you came back for us after all, name. i always knew you would.” / “really?” / “no. but i love being wrong. i’m really good at it.”

“he’s / she’s / they’re gone. you’ve always been good enough. you can do this alone.”

“i would have loved you so well.”

“you stayed.” / “i stayed.”

“go on. i believe in you.”

“you know what that’s like, if you let yourself remember.” 

“it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t need to be.”

[lurksunderthebed]

I remember one yt comment assuming that Ghost both OG and reboot had a family of his own as in wife and kids just because he was throwing around dad jokes with Soap back and forth.

It got me thinking then; how? like sure i guess people could assume it's because he wears a mask to stay anonymous but even then it doesn't add up? He's a nobody essentially, a Ghost, he has nothing, no picture on his file, like NOTHING. It is strongly implied that he's hiding his identity for a much bigger and most likely fucked up reason. Also people in the military or undercover covert ops don't wear masks for the sake of protecting their family/loved ones only, we have to remember that not every of these guys are actually good, and this is further reinforced in the MW and other CoD franchises, so yeah, not exactly a GhostSoap topic but more about Ghost himself. Have any thoughts? Feel free to share with us, i love your analyses and interpretations!

The assumption about Ghost having a wife and kids just because he likes dad jokes is well... It's a take.

The fun thing about these sorts of headcanons is that Ghost is just as likely to have a HUSBAND and kids as well. Again it's one of those things where you can think up all sorts of secret "xyz" that Ghost could be hiding. There's nothing proving it isn't wrong, but there's also no real factual basis behind it.

When it comes to spec ops like 141 is and really any SAS/delta aligned operatives is that there's a general OPSEC on these guys already (if we're gonna use the American terminology for this). Meaning that any general public picture/info of these guys working/in uniform etc is already usually scrubbed.

The fact that Ghost is going out of his way to hide his identity means a lot more I think than just hiding love ones away. I mean there's also nothing stopping Price, Gaz or Soap to be hiding loved ones as well and they even mention it in Alejandro's case. And yet none of these guys wear a mask habitually.

Add in Ghost's obvious trust issues, how much he stands apart from people, his hesitance on being a Team and the implication he got betrayed (by someone close, prob teammates), it all paints something a bit different than just hiding an identity purely because some bad men might hunt down your secret family.

Granted, Ghost might be embroiled in some very horrible shit, so maybe the stakes are higher for him. But I think the same could be said of Price. And Price seems far more likely to have a random family cause he's actually approachable/sociable.

But again who knows.

What I can say is that Ghost cares about his appearance standing out. I agree that him wearing a mask just to stay anon actually doesn't make sense. Ghost is very memorable. If he wanted to be discreet, his get up is 'quite the opposite'. There's a mythos behind him.

His very appearance is well thought out; the guy has the most different outfits/setups out of any of the team. The skull mask is painted and hand sewn on. He accessorizes with SKELETON GLOVES too.

Ghost also had a teammate in the past that also currently wears a skull mask. It's possible that 'Ghost' might actually mean more than hiding himself, but perhaps an identity to be used for intimidation.

Perhaps like Cod: Ghost's there's a unit of Ghosts that all wore 09 ghost balaclavas in the past who were famed for being the John wicks of the codmw reboot universe?

There are so many possibilities with the inclusion of Mace and that one statement we got from the Game Dev.

But eh who knows. I could be very wrong too 🤣.

Thanks again for enjoying my analysis! 💞 And I hope this somewhat answered your question. Questions like this always take me awhile to think it through lol. But I love it 💕😅

[sl-walker]

Ooh, can I have a snippet of Stardust please?

You can! From the next yet-unposted chapter (May 14th, 2017), something of a reunion of the Justice League International, though none of them remember that they were the JLI orignally:

--

“C’mon, watch your flank!”

“¡Por el amor de Dios!  I’m trying, Lantern!”

“Not hard enough!”

“Ease off, Old Bay, it’s just training.”

“Hey, Deep Dish, I’ll ease off when you get off your high bug and join the rest of us out here.  Until then, your mini-beetle needs practice in fuckin’ teamwork, you hear me kid?!”

“Ouve, palhaço--!”

“Oh, Bea, please--”

“I got no idea what that was, Beatriz, but I’m guessin’ it was very impolite and would just wreck my sweet virgin ears.”

“Virgin my ass.”

“Who said that?!”

“Are they always like this?” Booster asked, flying backwards until he was just outside of the Bug’s viewports; the proximity didn’t matter since they were on comms, but he had to admit that he felt a little safer with Ted and Ted’s airship at his back.  Even though there were only ostensibly good-guys around.

Ted was flying support in costume; he held a finger up, then hit some button or another on the console before saying, “Yeah, they kind of are.  I mean-- well, you heard them introduce themselves.”

Booster had indeed heard it, since it had been for his benefit; Guy had gone, “This is my girl Tora and her girl Bea,” which he got a snicker out of, especially since Bea openly disliked Guy and it was mutual.  How Tora managed to survive between those two sticks of dynamite was a big mystery that Booster was sure he’d find out someday.  Unlike both Guy and Bea, Tora was so sweet that even just meeting her for the first time, Booster wanted to protect her from any possible threat.

And that feeling persisted all the way up until she dropped an ice pyramid on him, apologizing the whole time.  Most of it was still down there in pieces.  Booster’s forcefield protected him, but the sensation of being battered to the ground under several tons of ice despite that was one he wasn’t gonna forget anytime soon.  He’d been about three feet below the surface by the time he could stand back up and then had to contend with Guy cackling and pointing at him.

Point well made and taken.

“I don’t know how Tora can stand it,” he said, shaking his head as Guy and Bea argued mid-air, Tora stood on the ground pinching the bridge of her nose, and Jaime took advantage of the break and flew over to join them.

His armor was pretty amazing-looking; it didn’t exactly make Jaime intimidating, but it did make him look like he was a force to be reckoned with.  Especially when he fired up his arm cannons, which were much larger and flashier than Booster’s gauntlet blasters.

Ted snorted. “I have my theories, but they aren’t polite enough to share with subadults.”

“Excuse me?” Jaime asked, the armor peeling back from his head while he gave Ted stink-eye through the viewport. “Only for one more year, oh glorious mentor.”

Ted leaned forward intently. “Jaime.  Have you decided what you wanna do with your future?”

Jaime made an inarticulate noise of frustration and flew away from them, but not before flipping Ted the double-bird, which made Ted cackle like a hyena.

--

It really is basically just what it says on the tin. LOL! I had a ton of fun writing them, though; I've loved that incarnation of the Justice League for a helluva long time. And seeing who they are in this latest 'reboot' always makes for a fascinating study. When you know the characters and their dynamics across two prior timelines, seeing who they are on this third reboot means understanding the layers going on under the surface while having to remember that none of them remember any of it.

Thanks! ^^;

[ilovescaredysquirrel2]

The FOP reboot looks better than the original...

Okay, here's a confession I have to make, I never liked the Fairly Odd Parents! Even as a kid, it didn't impress me that much. It was one of those shows I just watched because it was on constantly and I was bored (I should have been watching more kids shows on Xfinity On Demand, instead). I whole heartedly REGRET watching the Fairy Odd Parents! If I could go back and watch other shows instead, I would. Fairy Odd parents was really not a good show for kids, either. Even if you find it funny as an adult, it's still a terrible show. It's offensive in so many ways. I mean, I'm not really a slapstick humor type of person, but you can't deny that the show had it's fair share of offensive jokes, plus the fact that all the female characters weren't reliable except for Wanda, who could even be kind of a b*tch at times.

Okay, I'll address the sexism in Fairy odd parents and why I hate the show. Look at it! The girl that Timmy liked was always a stuck up snob (plus she's Asian and Butch Hartman is racist), Timmy's mom was an airhead dumb idiot and neglectful, and then the babysitter was a crazy psychopath (plus she was a teen and I hate when children are portrayed as crazy and psycho). I'm not done yet, look at how the bodies were drawn on most of the female characters too! Skinny waists with super curvy bodies, I hate that character design in any show or movie. I complain about it with Disney princesses like Ariel and Jasmine, and I complain about it with Total Drama characters. I hope that kind of character design for female characters will become extinct someday.

Also, there were a lot of racist jokes in the OG Fairy odd parents as well, and I hope that the reboot doesn't have that. My bestie is Scottish-Canadian, and she was really offended when they had that scene with the kilts and made fun of her culture. I mean, the show went on for so long that you probably don't remember every little offensive joke or innuendo in the movie, but there were a lot of racist and sexist jokes, and I think there was even some ableist ones as well. I'm NOT making thing up, I swear! I mean, people call everything racist nowadays, and I'm not one of those people who point out every little stereotype, I just want people to realize how awful Fairly Odd Parents was and how often they had those types of jokes. They made fun of country/rural people as well, and I think a lot of different ethnicities. I'll talk about the ableism in a minute...

Apparently Butch Hartman was ableist, which I wouldn't be surprised knowing all the other things about him, and I remember when Fairly odd parents made fun of a guy with a huge pimple on his face, and also a character who was in a wheelchair. I don't know why that show went on for 20 years but I'm glad it ended... until 2024 when they wasted money on a reboot that doesn't look as bad as the original. Everybody's crying because Timmy's black now, but I don't give a crap what skin color they made "him" (they have a black female protagonist to hide the fact that Butch is a sexist and racist d*ckhead). They could have spent money on a CatDog reboot or gave Harvey Beaks a second chance instead but they chose Nickelodeon's most overrated cartoon.

Here's another thing about Butch Fartman that makes him a sh**ty person, he made an episode called "Channel Chasers" where he literally made fun of other kids shows, trying to act like his crappy show was better than the more family like ones. Some of the other shows he made fun of were Rugrats, Blue's Clues, and Sesame street, and neither of those deserve to be made fun of. He's got such an ego and we should throw him off his high horse and acknowledge how bad his shows were. I just think making fun of innocent kids shows in a show that's not really meant for kids, is a really lame thing to do.

If you made it this far, thank you! If you like Fairy odd parents, I hope I made you change your mind. If I didn't, okay then. I'm just confessing about one of my most hated cartoons, and I'm going to address how I feel about Vivziepoop and her shows next (sorry to Hazbin Hotel fans, but I seen some things in it that triggered me). Well, thanks for reading anyways and TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! If you disagree, I'd like to know your opinions on why.

[tobiasdrake]

The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Episode 13 - The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Part 3

The final chapter in the The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan arc of The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-Chan, which inexplicably neither begins nor ends the series.

I'm pretty sure she means this purely figuratively but also Haruhi powers means there's a non-zero chance that Yuki's identity crisis could cause a world-cramp.

T_T Factory Settings really getting to me in the short time she's been with us.

Factory Settings taking everyone to a book fair and. Like. You can feel the Sword of Damocles hanging over her neck. In context, this is presented as Kyon wanting to do something nice for Yuki and Yuki getting to pick the activity.

But the vibe is very much "If you had one day left to live, how would you want to spend it?"

They're just hanging out and having a good time but the melancholy music and Yuki's general attitude sells the existential terror lurking in her heart. The clock is counting down to when she effectively reboots into the identity that was created for this reality.

Oh, and now we're literally doing "What would you do with your last day?" Okay. @_@

T_T Factory Settings is saying out her goodbyes. She has existed for five minutes. There aren't many people for her to say goodbye to.

The difference between all three of these things is ultimately philosophical. But it's meaningfully philosophical. It speaks to how Yuki is experiencing and interacting with her own sense of self.

At the end of the day, this arc is intensely personal.

T_T STAB MY HEART WITH A RUSTY KNIFE WHY DON'T YOU

T_T She finished the book that she was so enraptured with at the library.

I wasn't even consciously rooting for that but now that it's been brought up I am so happy she was able to finish it. T_T

OH GOOD SHE FINALLY SAID IT MOMENTS BEFORE SHE DIED

GREAT

THANKS

WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THIS WRITERS

WHY YOU ALWAYS GOTTA BE LIKE THIS

Kyon furiously rolling Concentration checks in his head to see if, just once, just one time, he can actually follow the plot that's been put in front of him.

So help me if they do a bereaved love triangle of Escapist Yuki -> Kyon -> Factory Settings (Deceased), I am going to be SO GODDAMN.

I will throw things. At people. They'll be passing under my balcony when suddenly the biggest book I own hits them in the head and I'm just up there shouting 'THAT'S FOR YUKI!!!"

FUCK YOU WITH ALL OF THE KNIVES SHOW

T_T T_T T_T T_T

Hard drive reformat at 100%. System reboot complete. Please log in to Yuki.exe.

It feels so good to have her back and yet ALL OF THE FEELS for the temporary version of her that's now been fully re-subsumed into her persona.

And the truly ironic thing, the thing that is KILLING ME more than anything else? Is this guy.

For once.

For once in multiple goddamn lives.

This man is the only person alive who actually understands the plot of what just happened.

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

here’s to a year of trigun :] just a cute little (1k. oops.) essay reflecting back on how it’s changed my life.

(twitter crosspost LOL)

You know that strange, dissatisfying limbo between hyperfixations? That was me in January. A 2-year long obsession with Genshin Impact was dragging itself to its grave and I was struggling with life. I got diagnosed with a rare chronic pain disorder at around the same time I caught mono and strep simultaneously (that week SUCKED), classes were kicking my ass, and I was experiencing the existential loneliness of adulthood for the first time. 

University student things! 

And to make it all extra unbearable, my writing was empty. Soulless. I’d write something for a zine and go damn—this shit is awful. Not because it was technically flawed or anything, but there was just…nothing there. I would stare at my stats page on Ao3 waiting for comments and then bitterly complain at my friends when no one wanted to read my work. Hell, I don’t think I wanted to read my work. I’m sure you know the feeling. 

And because my writing is how I cope with Everything, being unable to write made the Everything so, so much worse.

Then—and I forget exactly how I heard about it—I learned that Trigun Stampede had just released its fourth episode. I knew of Trigun from a buddy of mine who had been excitement-posting about the reboot months before, but all I knew about the reboot was that Yoshitsugu Matsuoka was voicing the main character. I had a free afternoon—why not give it a try? 

I still have my liveblogging from January. Here was my initial reaction:

I was having a great fuckin’ time. 

February rolls around and I am immediately, irreversibly, hit with Plantcest brainrot so bad that I discard any pretense of being icked out by brocest ship and I write a 9k long KV thesis called “we’ve got to get back to that stinking garden,” named after a Natalie Diaz poem called “my brother named gethsemane,” which is, truly and genuinely, The Poem on Brothers (Complicated) of all time. That fic is where the visions and prophesies came back, where I started feeling like my writing was impactful again. Like it meant something. It was my first ever foray into in-narrative smut and the first of many, many attempts to capture a future where Vash and Knives love each other even after the end of everything. 

This is really where I found my footing on Twitter and as a short story writer, I think. Where I started really caring about making every word of a narrative pay rent, about conveying and evoking specific, tangible feelings, and exploring genres of media I’d never really been interested in before. Before February, I wrote mostly genfic and T-rated romance. Every so often, I’d dabble in some graphic violence. 

And hey! Now I write hardcore kink and graphic erotica. The gore I used to dabble in is now something I dive into feetfirst and with a rabid desire to make it as sexy as possible. I fetishize the crease of an elbow and the bristly sections of an undercut and I write about brothers having nasty, angry, dubiously consensual sex. I could not possibly tell you how I got here, but shit, man, I don’t regret a damn thing. 

It’s through Trigun that I met some of the most talented, sweetest, most encouraging folk. Plantcest creators, Vashwood creators, people who saw me writing ZazieVash and went hello motherfucker please feed me some more, Romeryl enthusiasts, Kniveswood and Plantwood enjoyers…shit, guys. You’re all so fucking cool.

I got invited to a zine for the first time, I started taking commissions (and holy shit, what the fuck, I still can’t wrap my head around that at all. The fuck you mean, you’ll pay me Real Actual Money for personalized fic? Insane to me. I’m so goddamn grateful.) for the first time, and hell, I published a poetry collection for the first time. Which people downloaded? And tipped me for? What the fuck? I’m still reeling from that. Thank you, by the way. Genuinely. 

What else this year…well. I commissioned art for the first time, I participated in more big bangs and exchanges than ever, I read voraciously and wrote with just as much fervor. I watched ‘98 and I cried and I read half of TriMax and cried some more. I wrote more erotica than I ever have, and I wrote more fic that I’m genuinely, painfully proud of this year than any other year. 

A lot of my writing is about grief and rage, and a lot of it is about trying to be funny in the face of that. A lot of is about learning to live, because that’s what I’m doing right now, despite everything. A lot of it is about trying to be kind. 

But in summary, because this is getting ridiculously long, here’s what I got out of Trigun:

Vash the Stampede refuses to die. I’m trying to emulate that. 

Meryl Stryfe cares about doing the right thing, even if it means she’ll get in the middle of a fight between aliens armed with two bullets in a tiny pistol. 

Wolfwood is carefully, disastrously kind. I want to be like that.

And Knives is nuttier than a Victorian lady in a room painted in arsenic green, but still. I love him anyway. 

And Milly :] no thoughts about Milly. I love Milly because she is also incredibly kind :] 

Trigun has changed my entire goddamn life this year. I think it’s made me a better person. It’s certainly made me a better writer, and it’s connected me to so many lovely and beautiful people. Thank you all for sticking around, and here’s to another year of love, peace, and unhinged porn. I love you all :]