#thankfully i don't work today. I'd have to call out honestly

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Tw animal death

I just lost one of my pet rats and I need to talk about it I guess

I just didn't expect this. He's been doing better, eating and drinking and moving around the cage. Last night I let myself believe for a moment that he would get better. But then I checked on him this morning and he was gone. I let his brother see him, and once he lost interest I took him out. But once I held him in my arms I just couldn't let him go. Because that's my baby. He's my baby and I love and miss him so much and I don't know what to do.

I got him and his brother from a friend because she had to move to an apartment that didn't accept pets and her family couldn't take them, so I took them because I was moving and wanted some critters to accompany me. And they were the best things that ever happened to me. Taking care of them and loving them was one of my favorite parts of life. I missed them while I was at work and couldn't wait to get home and let them out for free roam time. And now one is gone, and I have to tell my friend and I don't know how to. Text or call, what to say, anything.

He's in a little box with a couple toys, some goldfish crackers (his favorite snack) and a piece of hammock (he loved snuggling with his brother in a hammock). And I had to decide how to take care of my baby. I live in the city with no green spaces and no yard. When planning I thought I could just put him out with the trash, but holding him after he was gone made me completely unable to do that. I checked some rat groups on Facebook and they recommended burying him in a plant pot, so that's what I'm going to. As soon as I'm okay enough to leave my room I'm gonna go to the plant shop and get him a beautiful plant in a nice big pot. And I wanted something to keep of him, and to give to his old owner if she wants it, so I took some of his fluff and put it in a little jar meant to hang on a necklace and I'll mail it if she wants it.

I just needed to say all of this to process it ig. I wouldn't mind some nice words or pictures of your pets, if you're willing to share. Otherwise, I hope you all have a wonderful day.

[gojoidyll]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 5 | my maid again

Warnings | none

Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

year 1324 AD

GOJO SEIJI was a brat, probably because at the age of five he received all of his past memories and was very very sour at how his second past life turned out. I mean, how unfortunate must someone be that the love of their life gets reincarnated as a baby and as their grandchild?! That unfortunate soul must be Gojo since it had obviously happened to him.

But thankfully, in this life, he had no siblings and there was no one in his clan with the name Y/n Gojo.

He was relieved, but that didn't stop his brattiness. Most likely because he was only five years old and wasn't allowed to leave the estate. Don't those fools realize he has the six eyes and can take care of himself?!

And now, at the age of 16, the clan elders were still adamant of keeping him indoors.

They won't let him leave no matter what his age is. Jeez! The nerve of some people!

"Master, may I come in?"

He scrunched his nose up at the voice behind his door, but let them in anyway.

"Just don't disturb my reading," he called out, obviously in a bad mood as he usually was.

His maid came bustling in, her head bowed as she gave him a small smile.

"Why are you bothering me today," he asked with an unamused expression and monotone voice. His eyes never tearing away from his book.

His maid brushed off his attitude and answered him.

"The clan elders felt that it was time to get you a maid that was the same age as you. So after searching for one they finally settled on a well mannered and quiet village girl. For the past few weeks I have been personally training her so that you won't be disappointed."

"Whatever, just bring them in already and leave."

His now ex-maid bowed and left his room and a few moments later, he heard the soft footsteps of another come in. The brief scent of vanilla filling his nose.

"H- hello, master Gojo, my name is y/n and I'll be serving as your maid from now on, i- I hope that that is alright with you.."

He turned in his chair, his eyes focused on y/n almost immediately the moment her name left her mouth.

It's her.

He wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Hold her close. He wanted to laugh or cry. He wanted to do many things. But he knew he couldn't not now. Not yet. I mean, he didn't want to scare her away after all.

"Y/n, huh?"

"Yes, master."

He couldn't stop his smile. His eyes shining with a joy that was lost on him ages ago. It truly had been forever since he last saw her.

Not to mention that she wasn't related to him and she would be working closely to him. For him. He couldn't ask for anything else honestly.

"I'm expecting great things from you then, y/n."

To be honest, she could be the worst maid ever to exist and he would still keep her by his side. He loved her after all.

And who knows, maybe this time their happy ending may finally come.

Infinity taglist | @whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix @zeniiis @rin1802 @mrowwww

[abcd-adventures]

Not an "easy read"--feel free to skip.

Friends, it has been a week. I am so. freakin. happy. to have zero plans today (other than, of course, catching up on a million chores). B even slept in until 6am. I was so grateful I'd turned my alarm off because that meant that I also slept in until 6am; I honestly cannot remember the last time I've done that. Even my mother coming out here to disrupt our quiet morning and make a jab at me about not going to church isn't going to derail this sense of peace. *eye roll. She's been sick, so I just casually asked her if she was going to church today. She responded, "Yes. Are you?" Look, man, I fully support anyone's spiritual or religious choices and practices so long as they're not harmful to others. Personally, I have never felt further away from my own sense of spirituality than I do in a church. It's not for me; I wish that didn't translate into my mother constantly in anguish about me going to hell, but what can you do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, on Monday, I left work to take a friend to the psych ER for severe SI and a transfer to inpatient. Let me tell you, that process is horrific. As a therapist--and just...you know...a human--I actually cannot think of much worse for a person having a mental health crisis than to be put into what is essentially a cell in a psych ER. (And, please don't come at me to explain why they are the way they are because I do actually know all of that but my statement stands.) Thankfully, I was able to stay with my friend and eventually even able to transport them myself--SEVEN HOURS LATER--to the inpatient hospital, but everyone else was there alone. I honestly cannot imagine. While there, I got a call from CPS...nothing like that to scare ten years off of your life. They were actually calling about one of C's siblings because they needed an adult relative to release said sibling to or they were going to have to spend the night in CPS custody. I am not actually a relative, but I explained that my son is and gave them his number and then called him to prep him and talk him through the situation. Holy. Shit. Our house is already full to bursting, so I gave him money to get a hotel nearby and some essentials and dinner. Then, the SAME NIGHT, my husband had to call in a wellness check on my MIL and said, "It just feels like this is the night I'm going to hear that they've found her dead." That was not the case, but she is...not doing well, but was doing well enough to refuse EMS intervention.

I am very grateful to be able to support the people I love in facing difficult things. My friend is doing so much better already. My son is making me very proud of how he is being there for his sibling, and my husband and I are making a plan for what we can do for his mother. It is a lot, and it is heavy, but quiet days at home help. And, I would take the heaviness any day if it means that we have the privilege of being there for others.

[sissylittlefeather]

As promised...

A Very Quiet Life: Chapter 6

A/N: I'm still struggling with everything after this one, so it might be a while before there are more chapters. But, please enjoy this one!

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI!, kissing, p in v sex, unprotected sex, lil bit of angst if you squint, lots of fluff

Links to:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Let me know what you think! ❤️

Song inspo (still. I love this song)

Gifs because I can't not at this point

Meanwhile, across the street, Mrs. Walter takes note of the fact that the neighbor entered your house at 9:45am and still hasn't left...

******

You spend that whole day in bed with Elvis, only leaving to eat whatever you can find in the kitchen. At one point, he offers you a popsicle and you both fall apart laughing. It's the best day you've had in a very long time and you're sad when it has to end. At about 3:30, he puts his clothes back on, kisses you one last time, and walks out your front door.

Mrs. Walter would have missed him, except she's walking to her car to go get her kids from school. She looks at her watch, astonished. Then, she resolves to keep a closer eye on the two of you. Beth, Elvis's wife, is a good friend of hers, and she won't stand for what she suspects is happening.

******

On Thursday morning, you watch from your kitchen window as Elvis puts his wife in a cab with a suitcase. He gives her a chaste peck on the lips and you look down at the cup you're washing. He really is married. You wonder how long she'll be gone this time and if he'll want to stay again. As he's walking back up to the house, he sees you in the window and waves. You think you've both done a good job of just appearing "neighborly" and nothing more. About twenty minutes later, you hear a knock on your front door. Your heart leaps. Of course, it's him.

"Thought I'd come check on how that shower is working for you, ma'am." He holds up a box of tools. You know he knows very well that the shower is just fine. He winks and you let him in the house.

"The toolbox is a nice touch." You say once he's inside and the door is closed. He drops it on the floor and pulls you into a passionate kiss.

"I was hoping you would be home today. I don't have lessons until after noon." He says with his forehead pressed to yours.

"Elvis, what are we doing?"

"Do you want the biblical, medical, or romantic words for it?" You look up at him as he smirks.

"I'm serious. I haven't forgotten that you're married, even if you have." He backs up a bit. You don't want to hurt him, but you can't just pretend it's not true. You've never been a cheater, and you're not sure you like the idea of being the other woman either.

"Y/n, I haven't been in love with my wife for a long time. She drained the life out of me for years. You brought me back. I don't care what you call it; I'm happy with you. Are you happy with me?"

Happier than you've been in your whole life. Maybe that's enough.

"Yes." He takes that as your whole answer and scoops you up in his arms like a baby, taking you straight to the bedroom. He might be married to someone else, but he knows exactly what you want.

******

Michael's party is on the following Saturday. Elvis comes over for dinner on Friday, leaves, waits until the kids are in bed, and then comes back. He stays with you that night and sneaks out before the kids wake up again. You feel like a teenager with all this secrecy and hiding, but honestly, it turns you on a little bit. You know it can't go on forever, but for right now, it's good. Really good.

When Elvis comes back on Saturday afternoon for Michael's party, you're a little taken aback to see his wife with him. She must've come home this morning. Still, you slap on a decent smile and welcome her into your home. She seats herself on the couch and all you can think of is how you fucked her husband on that same exact spot. He looks at you nervously, obviously thinking the same thing. Thankfully, Michael and Jane and the Walter kids come barreling through the living room, saving you both any more embarrassment. Michael is still sporting his blue cast, but he's gotten used to it by now. He runs up to Elvis's wife with a marker and asks if she wants to sign it. She looks uncomfortable and says no. He points to where Elvis signed it several weeks ago and begs her. She looks up at Elvis with an annoyed glare and finally takes the marker and signs the cast.

"Michael, what do you say?" You holler from across the room.

"Thanks, lady!" He says and bounces away to keep playing. Elvis follows him and snatches him into the air, both of them laughing. You smile at the scene and then catch his wife watching you, so you turn away quickly.

You're putting some food together in the kitchen when Mrs. Walter walks in and stands with her back against the sink. You can see Elvis in the living room with the kids from where you're standing. They seem to have started some kind of game where he's the monster and they're all trying to get away from him. She startles you when she speaks, tearing your attention away from watching them.

"He's so good with kids."

"Mhmm" you answer politely.

"And he's really handsome. Don't you think so?" You look at her blankly. Why would she say that?

"Oh, I mean, yeah, I suppose so."

"Is he more good looking than your husband was?" What the actual fuck?!

"Rick was very attractive. Gorgeous brown eyes and one of the best smiles I've ever seen. Great with kids too." You turn to look her in the eye. "What exactly are you asking me, Susan?" You use her first name, disarming her a bit too. Still, she maintains eye contact.

"Oh, nothing. I just wondered what kind of home repair job takes almost six hours to complete?" Your heart stops and your whole body goes cold. She knows.

"Six hours? Are you talking about the other day when he fixed the shower? He was here for half an hour and then had to leave and come back and finish that afternoon." You answer coolly, not sure where your confidence is coming from. You can't tell if she buys your story or not.

"Hm." She raises her eyebrows and leaves the kitchen.

Holy fucking shit.

You need to talk to Elvis NOW. But you know you can't. That's probably why his wife is here. Susan has tipped her off and she's watching to see if you slip up.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You white-knuckle your way through the rest of the party, pretty much ignoring Elvis the whole time. At one point you even call him "Mr. Presley". When you do, he looks at you funny, but seems to pick up that you are on edge. He doesn't try to get your attention for the rest of the day.

Finally, the party ends and everyone leaves. You're overly courteous to his wife when they walk out the door, praying that she didn't see anything to feed her suspicions. Once everyone is gone, you sit down on the couch and breathe for the first time in hours. Your head is pounding as you try to think through what to do next. Michael is passed out on the floor in a pile of presents. Jane comes and sits next to you on the couch.

"Mama, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean, baby?" You turn and look at her. She returns your look with wide, innocent eyes.

"You usually smile more when Mr. Presley is here. You didn't smile today." Children are so damn perceptive.

"Oh, I was just stressed from the party, baby. I'm okay."

"So he will come over again sometime and you'll be happy?"

"Of course he will and yes, I'll be happy." You pull her into a hug and try to blink away tears. Even your kids would miss him if he wasn't around anymore. What are you going to do?

******

After you get the kids in bed, you're sitting on the couch trying to read when you hear a soft knock on the front door. You're pretty sure you know who it is, but you move slowly. When you answer it, Elvis walks in quickly and shuts the door behind himself.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Mr. Presley?! What the hell is going on?!"

"Susan Walter knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us!" His expression changes. He swallows hard and walks to the couch to sit down. You wring your hands and cover your face.

"How?"

"She saw you come in and not leave the other day. She's going to tell Beth if she hasn't already. And isn't Beth home right now? How are you here?"

"She went out with friends. I have at least three hours. And she hasn't told her yet or she would've said something."

"She's going to tell her. What are we going to do?" He looks down at the floor for a while, thinking. When he looks back up at you, his eyes are dark blue and he seems to have a new resolve.

"Come here." He puts his hands on your hips and pulls you close to him. "I don't care. I'll tell her myself. You want me to tell her tonight?"

You stand there with your mouth open looking down at him. Are you ready to be the neighborhood pariah?

"No... Not yet." He leans his forehead against your stomach and you put your hands on his back. "I just want us to stay good for a while. If you tell her, then there's no telling what'll happen." He pulls you down on the couch next to him and holds both of your hands in his.

"Listen, honey. You and me will be good no matter what. I promise you that." He holds one of your hands to his lips and kisses it softly.

"But with the kids... it's just not easy." You try to pull away, but he doesn't let you. He looks directly into your eyes.

"I don't need easy. I just need you." He puts his hand on your cheek and leans in to give you a soft kiss. He kisses you again, more deeply this time, letting his tongue meet yours in the middle. You feel your worry start to melt away. He keeps kissing you tenderly, and then he plants small kisses all over your face, making his way down to your neck. Then, he picks up your hand and kisses each finger gently, landing with his lips in your palm. He moves back to your mouth, dipping his tongue between your lips.

He lays you back on the couch and kisses down your neck again, nipping at you softly with his teeth, sliding his hand up the back of your shirt. You have your arms around him, kissing his cheeks and forehead and mouth any time you can get to them. It's like you're trying to sink into each other through kisses.

Slowly, he pulls your shirt over your head and runs his hands over your body. He seems to be trying to take in every inch of you. You move to take his shirt off of him and press your skin against his. There's no such thing as enough contact between you. He deftly removes your bra and begins kissing the soft and supple skin of your breasts. He drags his tongue around one of your nipples and sucks on it lightly. You moan softly and arch your back.

He kisses down your stomach to your belly button, hooking his fingers in your waistline to pull your pants and panties down together, leaving you fully naked. For the first time, you don't feel exposed, you feel free. He runs his hand from your stomach, down your thigh, to your foot, where he presses his thumb into your heel and kisses your ankle. He's giving attention to every single part of you.

Standing up, he drops his pants to the ground, freeing his perfect erection. You look at him as he stands there. His body is strong and masculine, but somehow also gentle. You desperately long to feel him against you again.

He slides both hands up your body as he lays over you, both of you completely naked. You open your legs a little to give him access and he pushes into you easily, filling you entirely in one move. The gesture is tender and filled with so much more than lust. He keeps a slow rhythm, kissing your neck and moving his hands over your chest and stomach, like he's mesmerized by the feel of your skin. He holds himself over you and lets his deep blue eyes meet yours for a good while. It doesn't take long for you to realize that this isn't fucking. This is making love and it's beautiful. He's tender and passionate in the way he worships your body. And he's still pumping into you, but slowly, gently, letting you feel every inch of him. You wrap your arms around him and pull him close to you, letting yourself be consumed by the feeling of his skin on yours. He reaches down to hold onto your hip as he begins to thrust a little faster.

Both of your orgasms are building together as your sweat mixes with his. You kiss him tenderly and your eyes lock on to each other again. He gets a little faster and a littler faster and you feel yourself beginning to tingle as your climax approaches. After just enough of him kissing and touching and sliding in and out of you, he crashes into you in a way that sends you over the edge with him. You both shudder and moan at the same time, kissing deeply as you hit the peak of your orgasm. When you come back down, your naked bodies are intertwined so that it's hard to tell where he ends and you begin. You lay there together, pressed up against each other, for what feels like a very long time. Eventually, he lifts his head up and kisses you on the cheek and looks into your eyes.

"I am yours, y/n."

You hold back tears and nod your head. You can no longer imagine a life for yourself without him.

******

Chapter 7 will be here... someday! 😬

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@itlover8000 @deniseinmn @elvisalltheway101 @ccab @suxny @hernameisnoellex3 @ashtag6887 @arabellapresley @littlehoneyposts @dkayfixates @elvisxsposts @joshuntildawn13 @msamarican @returntopresley @mrsbutler99

Want to be added to the Taglist? Let me know!

[muthaz-rapapa]

Hirogaru Sky Impressions (3/5)

Alright~

So we're more than halfway there. Excited for leaks season yet?

Show is still going good despite the last 10 episodes being mostly filler. I don't have anything to really complain about since as far as fillers go, the quality of HiroPre's is definitely better than those of previous seasons.

But me being me, of course there is going to be some form of criticism so let's gogogo~ and get that over with.

Again, the fillers are quite enjoyable but ever since the recovery of Captain Shalala, doesn't it feel like we've gone too long without any plot-related episodes?

Thankfully, it seems they're getting back to that with ep 31 next week. But even so, the lack of clues or hints about the Undergu Empire and the reason for its antagonism dragged the show's momentum slightly. So it felt longer to get through these 10 weeks.

"Filler doldrums" as I'd like to call it because tuning into Precure weekly became more of chore than something to look forward to.

But it wasn't that bad so let's hope the next 10 episodes will be more balanced.

Moving on.

I spoke too soon on not having to worry about the handling of Mashiro's character arc anymore. Why am I surprised, though? Whenever I let my guard down, my expectations are always betrayed. Oiy.

But honestly, they got me all hoping and excited since they actually gave her potential content to work with. Like her taking an interest in creating picture books. Or even her cooking skills or passion for makeup. Or her long distance relationship with her parents. That's quite a bunch of material to expand on for her.

Instead, she's been regulated to the passenger seat again to let Sora drive.

On one hand, I understand and can accept that Sora would receive more focus since the she is the main character of the overall story. Her coming from another world and therefore being a fish out of water bird out of Skyland when it comes to most things Earth-related...along with being someone who's never had friends before due to spending most of her time training are all prime real estate for development.

However, you can't deny that there is a blatant amount of lead favoritism.

It's not as bad as previous seasons since the writing for HiroPre is a lot better. But when the rest of the cast individually gets one episode of spotlight for every five or so the lead gets, it can be tiresome or even suffocating to sit through.

...on another note, my theory about Captain Shalala possibly being a double agent for the Undergu Empire turned out to be wrong after all. But I think having the enemy take Shalala hostage was the more suitable direction to go for breaking Sora down in order to let her renew and restrengthen her resolve as a hero. The loss of respect for your idol can be a really difficult thing to bear and that might be too harsh a topic for Precure's target audience. It achieved similar effects to the Broken Pedestal trope anyway so no complaints there.

Anyways, we may have broken the Pink trend this year but I'm not optimistic it will stay that way as long as there's always one primary lead in each group. Frankly, I think we're going straight back to special Pink treatment for another 4 years before 25th anniversary but that's a thing to worry about later.

As for Tsubasa and Ageha, I was more satisfied with their focus eps. Mostly.

Tsubasa's always teaches you something new. I really liked the one about branching out your dream, which is something we all need to hear should we ever reach our goal or get stuck on what to do next. And Ageha's most recent one with her older sisters and her parents' divorce when she was younger provided more depth into how she became the person she is today.

But I wasn't pleased when the Peach airline promotion ep that should've been about Mashiro spending time with her parents went to Tsubasa instead. I mean, Tsubasa showing off his airplane knowledge is always amazing but...ngh, they really don't care for Mashiro, do they?

Another thing. I became a little concerned about the portrayal of Ageha. She is shown to be consistently confident and composed in most things she does...but most 18-year olds aren't like that. So I worried for a bit if that might've sent an unintentional message that "you should be as competent as Ageha when you reach adult age" which is like ehhhh......not true.

Though it's only a flaw you notice if you're incredibly scrutinizing like I am. And given Ageha's personality, there's nothing wrong with presenting her as such cuz she wouldn't be Ageha without those traits. But definitely think of her more as a role model instead of one to emulate, that's all.

Right so, next week...is not the debut of Cure Majesty.

YET.

But very soon. Maybe even the week after? September titles haven't been released yet (as of checking right now) but with only...wow, 18 more episodes to go, they better make the best of it.

I don't think Ellee-chan suddenly getting older will become too much of an issue with pacing...as long as they don't put her in school if she still largely retains the mind of a toddler.

Or maybe she'll only grow older when transforming into Precure and return to being a baby during off-hours? That'd be interesting...it wouldn't be as fun as seeing her more grown up, yea, but it'd be unexpected, at least.

Whatever. Just give me more lore and I'll be good.

Finally (haha), let's talk about the future of Precure for a bit.

This season is obviously not going to be the last of 'em. If it was, they wouldn't try to scare you with it in an All Stars movie preview of all things. They'd likely do it the boring way by just announcing it in the news. :P

Anyways, we can definitely expect the franchise to continue for another 5 years. 25th anniversary is something Toei absolutely has to aim for because it will be a double milestone.

Quarter of a century run for the Precure franchise.

And (if my projected calculations are correct), if we keep to teams of 4-5 every year up until till 2028, we will hit over 100 Precure total.

Pretty exciting, yes?

With mixed-gender teams no longer being just a dream (look, Cure Wing even made the news! WAAAAHHH!!! xD) and upcoming projects like the Otona Precure series and the all-male Precure stage play in the works, it's definitely a confirmation that this franchise has no intention of ending any time soon.

If you want more consumers of your product, you need to accommodate for a variety of people and all sorts of new and different ideas, aspects and tastes.

Formula they probably won't budge on too much (not for the main tv series anyway) but there always will be other rooms to explore, y'know?

Ok~ So Precure won't be ending but summer is~

Hope everyone enjoyed it in spite of the heat and best of luck in school or whatever your future endeavors are!

See you in another 10 eps! (^ _ ^)/"

[thessalian]

Thess vs More Adulting

Payday is always a happy day, but it's also a little more than that. I mean, it is for me, but I assume that other people do the same thing as I do - that thing being "prep for the month ahead". By which I mean grocery shopping. After all, a person has to eat. Which I have to keep fucking reminding myself because I've fallen back into some significantly disordered eating the last little while. So this month is all about trying to fix or at least mitigate that.

So here's the list and the plan for the month:

So many emergency calories, because I keep forgetting to put food into myself when I'm working and I get hangry and weird. So nuts, crisps, dried fruit, corn thins, cold cuts, some tinned peaches, and clementines.

Fixings for potato salad. Because nothing's easier than just scooping some potato salad out of the bowl in the fridge and stuffing it into one's face.

Things To Roast - a big ol' chunk of pork shoulder, a large chicken, and lamb breast (which was an accident; I wanted shoulder for lamb dopiaza but apparently they were out). That'll be roast dinners plus everything I can do with the leftovers - risotto, stir-fry, stuff like that.

On the subject of stir-fry, I found ho fun noodles when I was out picking up meds and stuff yesterday. I like those way better than the vermicelli rice noodles. I also got tater tots because they're a fairly recent addition to Sainsbury's frozen-food repertoire and I will single-handedly demonstrate that it's a worthwhile thing to keep around if I have to because I HAVE MISSED TATER TOTS SO MUCH.

Further additions for batch cooking, since I've got some meat still in the freezer that just needs little additions to make into multiple meals. Specifically passata and courgette for spaghetti bolognaise, and carrots for chicken stew.

Drinkables and treats. As well as my usual couple of bottles of cherries and berries squash, I treated myself to an eight-pack of Coke. Picked up some marshmallows for hot chocolate and to make Rice Krispie treats, and some chocolate chips for cookies. Also one small bag of gummy sweets and a big bag of prawn crackers, which are thankfully gluten-free.

The standards - eggs, butter, sugar, coffee, etc. I mean, the first three are largely for baking (though the sugar's as much for the coffee as the baking) and I have some plans for French toast, so it's at least partly treat, but never mind.

Of course, this led to a need for more adulting. Not only putting all the stuff away, but apparently my bag of sugar had a leak at the bottom and sugar kind of got all over the kitchen floor. But never mind, I had to hoover anyway. Did the rest of the flat while I was at it. I'd already started a load of laundry at that point (it's on the drying cycle now), and while I do need to clear out the fridge a little more, things are mostly uncer control. Aaaaaaaaaall the adulting.

Of course, at some point in the not too distant, I'm going to have to go and pick up the bits that were missing. Not too many things, but I still want them, so that'll be a thing. I think I'll wait until tomorrow, though. Much as I hate going to the supermarket on a Sunday, Saturdays are worse unless I'm going late, and I really don't want to leave the house today. Still feeling the whole mess of this week, including the idiotic attempt to walk to the corner shop without my cane the other day.

(The shrubbery still has my cane, but I have a new one now - it's actually better than the old one, so that's a good thing.)

One last ... well, silver lining nice thing. My stepfather called yesterday - while I was working, but he apologised for disturbing me. He also apologised that the other flat isn't going to be ready for habitation by the end of this month the way he said it would be. I was honestly fine with that for two reasons: 1) I'd already figured that out because he promised he'd give me a goodly amount of notice so I could book time off, and 2) Scruffman's off in Greece for two weeks as of Monday and I couldn't have taken the time off anyway. It's already going to be an absolute fucking mess at the office without him - however cursory his attempts to ride herd on the lazier of the lazy fuckers in the office have been, it's better than nothing, which is what they'll have for the next two weeks.

Yeah, yesterday was a complete joke because of ... well, the usual. Friday was "New Girl sits on reports from Thursday morning until Friday afternoon, then dumps them back into the queue, and also completely ignores the ten-minute monstrosity by one of The Annoyances (who specifically creates a truly epic word salad every time she speaks) for the entire day". I mean, everyone else ignored the ten-minute word salad too, but I felt I had every right to because I not only took everyone else's long ridiculous reports that day, but also picked up the ones that New Girl had been sitting on all day because she picked them up but refused to actually type them. So I figure the "Leave the long ones for [Thess] to do" is going to be the rule for the next two weeks from these lazy fuckers.

But I have a fridge full of food, plans for glorious dinners, and a weekend of TTRPGs. It can't be all bad if I've got that.

[kingdomkeykitsune]

KHOC WEEK 2023 DAY 2: NEW WORLD

No applicable art for @khoc-week today, please enjoy this Destiny Islands Gif instead lol. Kimbri's story sees her headed to many a new world in her search for her brother, but today I thought I'd take a look at one arrival that didn't carry so much weight and urgency.

Also a shout out and BIG thanks to @luxmoogle bc your posts about the Destiny Islands mainland were absolutely invaluable for helping me develope a clear mental image while I was writing this.

Edit: I fixed an egregious case of autocorrect failure, Sora and Echo's mother's name is Orihime, not Origine. What the hell.

As New and Constant As the Tide

The tang of salt in the air was the first thing Kimbri noticed as she hopped out of the Gummi Ship and into the gleaming sun. Birds soared high above on the cool breeze and she could see the glint of water in the distance past creamy colored brick and stucco cottages and dense green foliage. Sand and gravel crunched under her boots as she hit the ground, still feeling odd beneath her feet despite all her travels after spending most of her life on grass and cobblestone.

Destiny Islands was just as beautiful as Sora had always promised it would be. Grinning, Kimbri took off her glove and reached back to help Vega out of the ship.

"You've got to see this." She said. Normally that would be an incredibly insensitive thing to say to a blind person, but her brother just chuckled and took her hand, activating the ability that would allow him to see what she could see.

"Oh... It's charming." He said, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"I'm glad you guys like it." A voice spoke and they both turned towards it.

"Kairi! Hey sweetie, how are things?" Kimbri smiled and reached to hug the redhead. As they embraced her nose was filled with the familiar scent of the sun cream Sora used. Coconut he'd told her it was. Familiar and comforting.

"Mmmm... Everything is good. We're just waiting for everybody to finish arriving before we head out to the Play Island for the party."

"We're not the last ones are we?" Squall asked, stepping out and carefully lifting Ombra to the ground as she followed behind him.

"Nah, not by a longshot, you're actually pretty early comparatively. We're still waiting on the Twilight gang and for Riku to get back." Kairi chuckled, shaking her head. "Which works out perfectly, Sora's mom was saying she wanted to meet the new members of the family."

"Wait, what?" Kimbri asked, brows furrowing.

"Oh c'mon, don't tell me you've been going around calling Sora your brother thinking it didn't go both ways or something." The redhead put her hand on her hip and grinned teasingly. "You guys have been adopted. Don't even think of protesting, Sora comes by his stubbornness honestly.

"Wha- I- Oh, honestly..." Kimbri sighed, shaking her head. "Well, in that case I suppose we shouldn't keep her waiting... Lead on." 

Kairi smiled and gestured for them all to follow her.

There seemed to be only one main road on this part of the Island, a long sandy strip bordered by lush plant life and charming lamp posts that almost appeared to have been cobbled together from spare bits. Kimbri smiled to herself as they walked, she recognized the plants from books she'd poured over in her uncle's library growing up.  Petunias, foxgloves, trumpet flowers, hyssop... All things that thrived in warm climates, which made sense given the climate.

There was also a mix of various varieties of palms and hardwood trees scattered here and there along the way, providing patches of shade in which to escape the intense sunlight, which she wasn't complaining about. Years spent living in a night world had a lasting effect and bright sun was still hard to take some days. Though her aversion to the brightness was nowhere near as strong as Ombra's, she was navigating the road exclusively by darting from one shade patch directly to the next. It might have been amusing if she hadn't seemed so uncomfortable. Thankfully Kairi promised there would be plenty of places to hide in the shade at the party, and they'd be hanging out at Sora's until time to head over so this would only be a problem while traveling.

Eventually voices started to carry towards them, the sounds of indignant yelping and laughter riding on the wind.

"I told Tidus to leave Echo alone before I left, but he never listens." Kairi sighed, shaking her head.

"Troublemaker?" Squall asked and Kairi shrugged.

"He just likes to think he's the strongest around. He's really not." She laughed. They rounded a corner onto a side path and the source of all the commotion came into view. Echo had a blond boy, presumably Tidus, pinned to the ground in a headlock as he struggled to get loose while another boy and girl stood nearby pointing and laughing.

"Stop laughing and help me!" Tidus grunted, but the others shook their heads.

"No way!"

"You brought this on yourself bro."

"Hey Echo, where's your mom?" Kairi called, and the younger girl looked up.

"Oh, hey Kairi! She's at home cooking, Sora's helping." She said, smiling like she wasn't actively wrestling one of her peers.

"Ah, that makes sense." Kairi nodded and walked past them without even a glance at the grappled boy.

"Kairi! Not you too! C'mon!"

Kimbri suppressed a chuckle and quickly stepped around the pair to follow Kairi. She led them a bit further, past houses and what appeared to be a couple small shops with striped awnings over their doors. Across a tiny creaking plank bridge fording a twinkling stream that babbled to them as they passed, then down another side path. Suddenly the smell of jasmine filled the air, the source easily identified as an overburdened shrub, leaning over a dilapidated blue fence surrounding yet another one of the cottages. Kairi unlatched the gate and headed into the yard without seeming to think about it, leading them towards the house. Stepping stones bearing the imprints of children's hands led the way to the door, which was flanked by vibrant, overflowing window boxes stuffed with more flowers than should have feasibly fit. And Kimbri had seen some very full window boxes in Radiant Gardens.

Kairi continued inside, calling out cheerfully.

"Mama, Sora, we're here!"

"Mama?" Ombra echoed questioningly and Kairi shrugged.

"We all call her that, it's just a thing friends sometimes do with each other's parents. If they're okay with it that is."

"I see… Noted." Her serious tone drew a few fond chuckles from the group as they headed into the kitchen. 

The smell of spices and seafood filled the air, eliciting a growl from Kimbri's stomach and reminding her of Rosa's restaurant briefly, but she was distracted almost immediately by the sight of a familiar blond man slouching at the green painted kitchen table, helping Sora wrap bundles of food in large, vibrant leaves.

"Cloud!" She cried out, beaming and rushing to hug him tightly.

"Hey, careful, my hands are messy." The swordsman chided gently.

"Sorry, I just didn't know you were coming!" She pulled back, beaming. He chuckled softly.

"I happened to be in the neighborhood." 

A melodic laugh filled the air, drawing all of their attention to a brunette woman tending the stove. She had long, thick brunette hair bound messily with a clip near her nape and she wore a turquoise tank with a white wrap skirt embellished with imagery of palm leaves.

"You must be Kimbri, Sora's told me a lot about you." She said, glancing over her shoulder.

"Oh, um, yes ma'am. And this is Squa- Er, Leon, Vega, and Ombra." She said, correcting herself at her fiancé's glance and gesturing to each in turn.

"It's lovely to meet you all, I'm Orihime, but you can call me Mama too if you want to. Please, have a seat, I'll have this batch done momentarily and then you all can eat while you're waiting, you must be starving."

"Ah, thank you very much!" She bowed slightly before taking a seat.

A little while later they were all sitting around, eating and laughing, and Kimbri couldn't help feeling that this place already felt like a second home.

[lord-of-fidgets]

Life update: PLEASE READ.

Those who remember my coworker harassing me - I've been unemployed now for a while and medical bills are piling up.

I was "fired" due to chicken that I didn't even touch. The day it happened it was me and one other person until the new hire arrived. I was the second newest. The person who was working with me, K, had been there for years. K left and before she did she had taken out chicken and told me and R (the new hire hired just after mee) that it was there.b

We both acknowledged that. I was working on my three pages of chores which included taking temperatures. The readings were coming in wrong so I had to fix it (which mind you - only I knew how to fix it - not even the 3+ year assistant manager knew how to do it) or we would have to throw EVERYTHING away. (So said my boss).

And R was starting prep and was right beside the chicken and also acknowledged K saying that it was there and needed to be done. I assumed R was going to do it since she was doing prep and was going to be there after I left which was soon. And by law the temperatures had to be done. So i did the immediate tasks first until I had to go.

Then I came back next morning and K ran out to my car, and she was crying because R had told our boss that we didn't say anything about the chicken. Which made me really mad. And that we were being blamed for the chicken needing to be thrown out.

I go in to talk to our boss who is trying to force me to sign this write up. And it's saying things like I didn't take responsibility and I ruined the chicken and I tried to explain what happened and that I didn't pull nor even touch the chicken. I called my mom for advice and she told me not to sign anything. I go back to my boss and tell him I won't sign it since I didn't do what it said. He then called his boss and they said if I didn't sign it, I'd be fired.

I said I wouldn't sign something that isn't true. And asked for a copy of the write up. He crumpled it and said "well since it doesn't matter now- no. If you just signed it you'd still have a job." Thankfully I had taken a picture of it when he had his back turned because I had a bad feeling in my stomach. I also asked for a copy of the fire paper and got that.

I don't understand how I got fired for something that wasn't my fault and because K and I's story collaborated- which our boss denied. R got to keep her job "because she's new" but the thing is one of the first things you do is learn prep. So she KNEW not only the chicken was there, and needed to be done, and had started prep - but she knew HOW to do it, too. My boss tried to say she's new but I told him that I've barely been there 3 months at most and there were still gaps in my own training. He didn't care.

On top of this I had gallbladder removal surgery less than ornabout a month ago now- it was an emergency from an on going issue I couldn't afford to have fixed even when I had a job. But it went on for about 3 years and the urgent care made me go to the ER. They did a bunch of tests and the walls around my gallbladder were thickening, it was filling with fluid, enlarged and ducks were blocked. So I went in for emergency surgery. They removed it. They also said it had been close to becoming septic.

Then I still had a blockage that required me to go out of state to have it removed. It was taken care of and they said it also looked like I was born with dilated ducts. No one there could believe I delt with the pain for these years. But honestly no one listened to me when I did risk going to urgent cares for advice and help or went to see the free doctor at the college when I went to college. So I learned to deal with excruciating pain.

So now I'm just getting cleared to lift things again. I have an appointment today to my normal doctor for something else. I'm jobless and in so much medical debt over something I needed to live.

Any advice? Please?

[bruins35]

Overnight Diary Entry 3

This is the same night, as I came back from my walk during my break at work. I decided I needed to talk about things that lead to my depression being so bad in Florida. For me to do that, I need to talk a bit about me first.

At a very young age, I believe I was Four years old, maybe Five, I was diagnosis with ADHD, and thrown into Special Education from there on out. You're probably wondering what that has to do with this, well for starters this was the early 90s, and well picture being with other kids that might have a worse learning disability than you, it stagnates your mental age. So going into high school, I told my doctor I wanted off my ADHD medication, and they put me in normal classes with one period for me to be able to get my homework done because I was slow with tests and getting essays done. So now imagine yourself being tossed in high school with your whole peer group and higher grade's when you were just constantly in the class with same students every year, it's jarring. You don't know how to talk to these other kids, you don't know how socialize with all these cliques and groups.

Now I move on to community college where I'm now if i had to give what my mental age was at, I was probably just entering High school for my Mental age. Thankfully I found friends that accepted me, until... half the group didn't after they all made up a lie to ruin a potential relationship because most of them all like this girl too, but she was into me. So, I lost a steady group of friends, but thankfully found more. I found one that to this day is one of my closest friends, and hope she's ready for when we turn 35 because we made a pact to marry each other, might be little jarring for her since I'm a guy and she's into women lol.

Anyways, while I'm still community college, I decided I want to do the DCP (Disney College Program) and pretty much start my life over. I move down there, meet my girlfriend at the time, and then go into whole new fucking world (no pun intended there). I'm probably finally catching up to the correct mental age until now I'm working with "adults" and other college age kids.

Now time to talk about stuff that honestly made my life a living fucking hell. I worked at my all time favorite attraction, and I wouldn't trade that in for the world. Honestly, if it was still their today, I'd probably be back working there. That's how much I loved that attraction and working it everyday. The issue was, I made some "really close friends" there that I thought we all understood each other. Well one friend apparently said I made an inappropriate joke. Now from what I know of this person from friends we have in common, she says some of the most inappropriate and dirty jokes. So they went to management on me, and i was never told the joke i supposedly said. So, no evidence nothing, but people believe them.

Another person, said I constantly hit on them and tried to get them to go out when they have boyfriend. Let me tell you, the first thing this person ever told me was they had BF, I never once flirted with her especially when she told me that. I respect peoples relationships, I won't interfere unless that person is a piece of shit and is abusing or cheating on them. So anyways, this person also apparently went to management, but was never brought to my attention, which makes me think management realized it was all lies.

Now this is when the REAL fucked up shit happens, now for some reason if i do have people reading this, well remember night one/part one the girl I was talking about that finally unblocked me on Facebook, but her now ex who was a "real close" friend of mine didn't unblock me? Well let's give them some fake names because this is where the story is going and I don't want to say she/her, and him/he the whole time. So she will be called Lexi, he will called Richard, and one other girl will be called Connie.

All right, so, Lexi and I used to be FWB, but we both agreed that if we wanted to see other people or hook up with other people we will end things. I held up our end of the deal, and well I soon found out she didn't. Lexi knew about my past relationship, she knew the emotional abuse my ex put me through, so I wasn't ready for commitment yet. Apparently everyone we worked with was wondering when we were to become official, but I honestly was too scared. Well, when i finally thought I was ready to make a commitment to relationship, imagine my surprise when on her Facebook it shows Lexi is now in a relationship with Richard.

I was shocked, hurt, and honestly just tired. Lexi and I connected so much, and had a lot in common that I was finally opening eyes that maybe this could be the one. So, it hurt, and it sucked. I hid my feelings though and congratulated the new couple. Well, I started to date Connie, Connie and I also had a lot in common, maybe even more so then Lexi and I did. But I messed up that relationship, mainly because I didn't really do clubs and she wanted me to go to them, but the real reason I didn't go out was because I was so fucking poor. Disney didn't pay well, I was working so much fucking overtime I barely had time to sleep to pay off my bills. I also at the time cared waaaaaay too much about what my family thought I should date and I stupidly brought I don't think my family would like her so idk if we could be together long term. That's when the relationship truly ended and one of my biggest regrets in my life.

One night Richard and I were on the phone, and honestly all my close guy friends back home we talk about our sex lives. So, I didn't think it was going to be an issue, but I made stupid ass comment about he doesn't need to tell me about his because I know how Lexi was in bed. Like I said dumb fucking ass comment.

Well, after this moment, Richard decided to spread the worst fucking possible thing you can spread. He got a couple other people to help spread that I supposedly raped Connie. Which wasn't true at all, I brought it up to management that these people were spreading this, and then eventually Connie and I had to confront these people about it. Unfortunately the damage was already done. I now had a stigma following me that I'm supposedly a rapist. Connie and I to this day are still good friends, and at one point best friends.

Connie don't be mad at the next part, since I'm sending you link to this.

Connie and I even after we ended things still did almost everything together, either going to cast parties together, going out for food with our fellow cast members, going to the parks with others, or just going to concerts. During all this we still held hands, we were just each others safety net. TBH she still is mine, but we are kind of distant with each other because last year or two years ago my best friend, her friend, and I noticed that her bf of 5 years is giving off some really weird vibes. I was really worried and my friend and her friend thought it felt like abuse potentially happened/happening. I know Connie's history and past relationships, I also know her and G had some really bad arguments. so I texted her our worries and well she told him, and since then we haven't been as close which sucks and I get it, the last thing you want to do is being accused of abuse. I just want you to see it from my point of view Connie. I love you, and I'm sorry I brought up my concerns, just know it was out of goodness of my heart because I care and love ya.

Anyways I think I will end this here, and I might discuss the other stuff that lead me to potential committing suicide, but right now I don't think I'm strong enough to type that out at all.

[mostlyihyperfixate]

.

Feeling mostly better today. The nausea is gone at least, mostly. I managed to eat about half a can of "chicken" noodle soup before I had to call it quits. And then I crammed a few saltine crackers into my mouth, which thankfully took care of the returning nausea.

I've still got chills, a headache, and fatigue, but honestly not feeling like I'm going to throw up constantly is a major upgrade. I was even able to take my cat to the vet this morning, although that's really all I've accomplished today.

Looking forward to spending the evening reading the update of Epoch, assuming one comes out. I'd prefer to have earned it, but what with my deposition getting canceled on me, I really don't have any work to do until I get the appeal case number for the transcript I've already finished.

[annieintheaair]

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art. You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

Well, I'm pretty delirious at this point and I should probably be in bed, even though it's not even 7pm yet, but of course, I got home and had to pour myself a glass of wine -- I deserve it.

Yesterday I got home from work in the morning and tried to nap but couldn't so I watched a movie. I hate the nail salon I go to in Fort Worth but I had no choice and went last week and of course, they did a pretty crappy job so I had three cracked nails within a few days. I decided to go there to have them fix them, hoping I'd get in and out quickly and then make it to yoga. I ended up missing yoga. It was literally the one thing I had been looking forward to all week.

To make my drive to Fort Worth worth it, I stopped at Costco and then picked up Chick-fil-A on my way home. I felt like I had a million things to do at home but jumped on a call with my therapist and cried my eyes out for the hour. I filled him in on all that had happened since we last spoke and once again, he reminded me that I do need to do what's best for me and move since everything in my life seems to be dependent on it at this point. When I was done with our appointment, I had to take some anxiety meds to calm myself down. I thought for sure that it would put me to sleep but it didn't.

The apartment complex I applied at has been giving me the hardest time, not wanting to accept my income from my second job because I'm technically self-employed and don't have paystubs. I spent nearly the entire afternoon trying to find a solution. It wore me down so bad that I was really wishing I didn't have to go to work last night. It kept me going though knowing that I'd be working with my friend, Nancy.

Everything went pretty smoothly last night and we made it to Oklahoma City just fine. I got up this morning at 4:40am, drank some hotel coffee, and expected to be on the ground in DFW by 7am. After boarding all of the passengers, the rolling delays began. The weather hit Dallas -- badly. Storms rolled in and there was a ground stop. Thankfully, my dog helper, Ashley, was back from her vacation and able to make a few trips over to my house to let the dogs out and feed them today.

After waiting with the passengers on the plane for hours, we allowed them to have the opportunity to deplane to go to the terminal to get food. Eventually, we deplaned everyone and then eventually reboarded, even though we knew we were going to go illegal.

Once we got the door closed, the captain made an announcement that the ground stop that had been lifted was once again in place. We would not be able to leave OKC. We sat on the plane as the rolling delay continued and we were officially illegal, per FAA regulations. The company had actually tricked us into getting the passengers back on the plane because once the door was closed, our legalities basically didn't matter. As I spoke with the passengers about their connections, I helped them to realize that it was in their best interest to try to rebook their trips with connections in any city except for DFW. We had no choice but to open the door to let everyone off.

In all of this, I ended up talking to a grandma named Georgia who was trying to get to Delaware to see her grandchildren since one of them was having her First Communion. I worked with her to figure out which flights she could rebook on to make it home today. Georgia said that she felt like we had become her family and I told her I wanted to adopt her because she felt like our family too. It was honestly so heartwarming to be with some really kind people. However, there were also plenty of passengers who basically told us we looked like shit since we were so tired.

During all of the delays, the planner/coordinator in me booked a rental car. I knew we would need to drive home (we ended up with a Kia Soul and I told everyone I felt like we were like the hamsters in the commercials). The company completely forgot about us and currently thinks we are still in OKC, however, we got the rental car and drove home.

I was so thankful to be with such an amazing crew. All four of us maintained a positive attitude throughout the day, even though we were all completely exhausted. We stopped at Love's and I got two Red Bulls, a little pepperoni pizza, and some spicy pickles. We drove through the rain, jammed out to the new Taylor Swift album, and listened to a few episodes of the Murder with My Husband podcast.

While the other two flight attendants slept in the back, Nancy and I did some catching up. Throughout the whole day, Brady, who I was supposed to go on a date with today, was texting me. I told Nancy that even though he seems like a really great guy, I'm not sure that I'm actually ready to date yet. She reminded me that it's ok and I don't need to if I don't want to and I should feel comfortable being honest with people if going on a date isn't something I want to do right now. I've gotten some matches on the apps but have really tapered off with talking to people. I feel like I already have a lot on my plate right now and dating just isn't what I need to focus on currently.

Back in DFW, we dropped off the rental car, and then all went to the employee lot to get our cars and head home. The ride home was terrible because of all of the flooding but I drove slowly and it took me an hour.

As the rain came down harder and I approached my house, I thought about how all I wanted on this chilly, rainy night, was to go home and put on my pajamas and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie with my dogs and someone I loved. I just really wanted a hug. I wanted someone to be there with me after this challenging week. I think that's the hardest thing sometimes-- knowing you need a hug but not being able to get one.

I thought again about dating and how I hate the idea of going on dates and starting over. Even though I want that person to be with me on the couch watching movies on a rainy night, I don't want to go through the process again to get to that point. I'm not ready to put myself back out there again and risk my heart hurting again.

At home, my dogs were overjoyed to see me. I took a shower, put on my pajamas, gave them dinner, and poured that glass of wine. I quickly responded to some emails for my other job and then, well, here I am, writing a recap of the last two days.

As much as I miss the weekends that I had since August, there's also something about being able to be home. I was able to drop my trip for tomorrow night so now I have two nights at home and I'm really excited to sleep in my own bed. Of course, I do wish I had someone to cuddle with instead of it just being me and my dogs but I love knowing that I can have this time to myself on the weekend. When I'm flying all week, it's nice to be at home in my own space and have no one forcing me to do anything. I like being able to have this time to recharge after a long week without an actual plan all of the time.

Well, I'm fading fast now that those Red Bulls are wearing off and I think that glass of wine is calling my name. Goodnight friends!

xoxo

Annie

[troidatoi]

Day 6 - 9/10/2023

Guess who keeps on crying? Me! This week had fucking hands like literally tossed me around and threw me on the floor stomped on me. lmao. I'm trying not to let it get to me but I mean it's me so I am going through the motions right now until I feel better. I was driving to a friend's house last Friday when my car stopped and nothing was working so I had to pull over. Thankfully my friend and his dad came to help me and they had triple A. Got my car towed back to my house and I felt so bad because they stayed with me for two hours but I'm so grateful for them. My dad was being annoying about it and I'm like please just be quiet. I hate how my parents are so cheap with things that will benefit us in the future. My parents didn't want to get triple A because they're like we don't need it! And lo and behold! We needed it! With me being misdiagnosed the day before and then this happening to my car, I wanted to run out into the street so someone can run me over. lmao. I'm trying to eat more but my body's still in pain and I wish I wasn't in so much pain. I so badly want to enjoy food again without being scared. I know for a fact I have all the fucking above, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, etc. I'm trying to love myself while trying to fix my digestive system so that my body isn't in pain but it really is so hard. lol. The supplements help temporarily but I need a permanent fix and I know it's coming! It's hard to not hate myself while looking in the mirror but I'm trying my best. I can't thank my body enough for still trying to fight for me and for it to be as strong as it is while I abused it so much with food but I'm trying to have a healthier relationship with my body and food. I know I'll get there. Health is wealth!!

Job hunting is depressing the fuck out of me. lmao. I keep crying about it. I know someone is going to hire me this month. I just feel stuck with no way out and I have bills I need to pay. My mom's been helping me pay for somethings which of course I'm very appreciative of. Once I get a new job, I'm definitely going to treat her out to a nice meal or buy her a nice bag. I have to remind myself that this is all temporary. I do have a job with MGM Resorts tomorrow so I hope that goes well. I'm glad it's a WFH job because they're in Vegas. lol. I'll take anything at this point (as long as it's within my field). I'm surprised they got back to me so quickly because they called me the day after I applied and one of the hiring managers was already asking me questions. LOL. I was like what and then she's like okay let's set up an interview. I was wondering how they haven't hired someone yet because that job listing's been up for a month or so. Either no one is applying for that position, they didn't like anyone they interviewed for it so far or they're doing that thing companies do where they need to post something but they'll just hire within. I am hoping that's not the case. It'd be cool to work for them. I'd be down. Like if they hired me on the spot, I'd take it. LMAOOO.

I did a free Pilates class this morning and it was nice. I miss doing Pilates so bad. I struggled today. lmao. But the instructor was super nice and I thanked her for all the help and she said I did a good job today. <3 Once I get a new job and pay off a lot of my credit card debt, I'll probably take Pilates classes again and go to personal training again!! I just can't wait to feel better about my mind and body in general. I know that amazing thing is coming for me and that all the headaches, inflammation, bloating, pain, and the breakouts will all go away. The gastro doctor already seems 10x better than the holistic doctor that I was seeing.

Yeah, I mentioned I'm like crying a lot huh? LOL. I was finishing up Riverdale cause they put up the last season on Netflix and the last episode made me cry so fawking bad like I cried throughout the whole episode. It was basically about life and death and honestly it was a nice episode because if you've been watching Riverdale a lot of the shit didn't make sense. lmfao. But I think the last season was one of the better seasons because it felt cohesive opposed to their other seasons. Death has always hit me so hard and that episode wrecked me because they talk about how they lived their lives before they passed way and I obviously want to enjoy my life as much as I can which is why I'm always going to games and concerts and doing what I want because I don't want to wait until I'm old to do the things I want to do, you know? My mom gives me shit for it but I'm like okay? I want to have fun. Sometimes it's hard for me though since I think about my health a lot but I'm also trying to find the happiness and joy in things. Despite all the crying I'm doing and have been doing, it's not like I'm purposely trying to be sad or anything. I don't know if it's normal for someone to just feel so intensely about everything because I cry over everything!! And of course I don't want to wait for things to get better. I always try to actively seek out help and try and solve things because I know that there's always a solution for me and that everything always works out for me. It doesn't feel like it right now like my gawd, it doesn't feel like it right now but I know I will.

In June, I had back to back interviews and I was crying and stressed out about it and I was listening to Bulletproof by La Roux and I was like oh, let's see what music she has now and I wish I knew about her recent stuff sooner because it's so goddamn fucking good. Especially her second album. I instantly fell in love. So I dm'ed her on Instagram and I was like she's not going to read it! She's a celebrity! She actually got back to me the next day and I cried because she wrote a long message and I felt like she took the time to write back to me and it was like she didn't have to?! And I wrote her back and she said whatever it is, I got this and idk but it kind of helped me to still keep going. My friends were telling me the same thing but idk why it took an artist for me to be like you know what? Yeah, I am going through all this fucking shit right now but things are going to get better because I want and need it to get better. It still does to this day and after that, I became an even bigger fan of hers. I listened to her in high school and her first album was amazing. I went down a rabbit hole of her interviews and watching her live performances. You can tell she loves what she does. I bought like all this merch and hung up her vinyls and albums on my wall. I sent her a picture of it and a message and if she sees it, then great but if she doesn't then that's okay too! I just wanted to show my appreciation towards her and her music. I know she has a lot of fans that tell her the same thing. Her music does something to my soul and words can't express how much joy it brings me. She sounds like such a lovely person. I would love to see her live and even meet her one day. I hope I get to. I think like a sit down conversation and a hug from her would heal me in ways I wouldn't even know. I know she's dealt a lot with anxiety and everything I read about her, I felt like I could relate. I remember her saying something like she can't really accept things for what they are and I always thought the same for me. I like that she puts out music for her enjoyment and she didn't want to be a huge pop star. She's very humble. I think everything she does is so effortlessly cool like I want to be her when I grow up. lmao. I'm definitely manifesting meeting her one day. I'm always going to remember that she messaged me and I am always going to love her for it.

I'm sure I'm still going to be crying a lot this week but let's just hope for the best case scenario, that my digestive system is healing, that I can eat without being scared, that I'm going to get a new job this month, that I'm going to pay off my debt, that I'll lose the weight and be healthy. To always have hope that everything is always working out for me.

"I can't die until things get better and that's a threat."

[gnattyplayssims]

1951 Pt2 - Don's Girl

Sofia absolutely loved being a mom and Ava was a perfect infant. Don wasn't the domestic type so he gave her her own trailer in Bedrock Strait. He never bothered her as long as he got her evenings at the club. He even provided a top-notch nanny.

Ava was a very wiggly baby so she had a hard time sleeping on her own. She often would only fall asleep to the sound of her mother's voice so Sofia would tell her fantastical stories about magic and princesses and worlds where all their dreams could come true.

Maybe it was because she was wiggly but Ava even liked tummy time. She liked working out her little arms and that it got her closer to those toys that were just out of her reach.

"There you go baby girl! Look at you, so big already! You'll be crawling in no time!"

Frequent sneezes and tummy time did not go well together. A violent sneeze shook little Ava's body and she bumped her face on the floor.

"Oh no Little Bird! Don't cry. You're okay. I guess we're done with tummy time for today." Sofia rolled Ava over, trying to soothe her.

The biggest thing Sofia struggled with was cooking. She had never had the opportunity to learn before. The orphanage had a cook and while her mother was a master at cooking, Anabelle had only taught her daughter a few things. Thankfully Ava didn't require fancy cooking to survive.

"Okay Little Bird, mommy has to go to work. Be good for Mrs Picket. Sleep all night so mommy doesn't miss a thing, I'll be home in a few hours."

Ava looked at her with those brown eyes that sometimes made her want to cry. She kissed her daughter and slipped into the darkness.

Ava always woke up with the sun so she was usually ready to start her day about the time Sofia was crawling home after a long night at Don's. She would try to sleep and shower before coming home but she didn't always have that option.

"You're worth it Little Bird."

One afternoon Sofia was resting with a book when a pleasant surprise showed up at her door. Nikolas had put together the pieces in Sofia's letters to track her down in Oasis Springs. He wasn't impressed. Her rich new boyfriend should be able to do better than a trailer.

"Nikolas, what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"You didn't honestly think you could hide from me did you. You know I'm a Clever Sim."

"Well I'm happy to see you. I love Ava, but she's not the best company when it comes to talking about my day."

"You...could come home. It's almost Hannukah. I'm sure they'd love to see you"

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what dad said. I can take care of Ava on my own."

"With your pimps help"

"I wish you wouldn't call him that. It's not like that. I only woohoo him not just anyone"

"Gross! So do I get to meet Ava or keep standing on your porch."

Sofia brightened and led him in the trailer. "Hey Little Bird, this is Nikolas, my bestest friend in all the worlds."

"Hey Ava, wow...she...those eyes."

"I know, sometimes she makes this face and...it's hard."

Ava looked up at Nikolas with concern while Sofia tried to assure her. "Don't worry, Ava, I got you" Nikolas cooed craddling her close.

Suddenly Ava started to cry. Big wails that filled the trailer. "Oh no! Hey Ava, It's okay. Nik is a friend!"

"You better take her back."

A few days later Hannukah came and Sofia had managed to get the night off. As the first stars lit the sky she settled in with a grilled cheese and thought of home. Her father loved Hannukah and had been excited for their first Winter Season as a family.

Then he'd ruined it.

She was just preparing to go to bed in her own bed for once when she heard a key in the lock. "Don what are you doing here. I thought you said I could have the night off?"

"A night off from the club. Doesn't mean you get a night off from me. Celia is already on her way for Ava."

By the time she'd woken up Ava and handed her over to the nanny, Don had already dimmed the lights and lit the candles. "Thought I'd get into the festive mood. You like it?"

"I love it. Why are you being so romantic?"

"I can be romantic."

"Usually you like to get right to it."

"That will come, tonight I just want to savor you." He pulled her into another slow kiss. "Mmm, you're learning. That wasn't half bad."

"Really?"

"A little more practice and you might be a pro. Let's try again."

He pulled her close again, his hands moving over her.

"I heard a man was here a few days ago."

"What? You mean Nikolas?"

"Who is he?"

"My best friend from childhood. You don't have to worry about him"

"Worry? A man like that doesn't stand a chance against me...A man like that won't consume your dreams...or your body like I will"

He seized her wrist and pulled her closer, her moans getting louder as he moved. He looked at her hand. "You know I don't like this ring."

"I know...I didn't get a chance to take it off since you showed up unexpectedly."

He slipped it off her finger letting it fall to the carpet.

Don always knew how to completely satisfy her but for the first time she heard him say something she never thought she would, "That was incredible, My Dove."

"Really?"

"Really. You know I wouldn't lie to you about that. Next time maybe I'll even let you take the lead."

1952 Pt1 - Stefan's Dream

[bylightofdawn]

I managed to survive another day of work though for a while there I wasn't sure that was going to happen. I also discovered this sizeable fraud trend with this fraudster submitting the same docs across different accts with hi same but differing SSN's. I am not kidding when I said I had to go through like 20+ orders checking if the ID submitted as the same one. Thankfully most were marked for fraud due to the correlated fraud on the name but four absolute braintrust agents signed off on that shit and I had to close 4 accts at like 9:30. So I didn't get off till like 10:15.

Bro these meds are fucking with me so hard. Today I've had blurry vision all day long. Which is apparently a known side effect of the meds. Combine that with my weird balance issues, the bought of random dizziness and light-headedness and I'm just ready to throw in the towel and request my doc sends a different script with hopefully less side effects.

Which at this point I feel like a record on repeat with my whinging.

In other news I got approved for a Playstation credit card so I'm going to purchase the MWII PS5 when it comes in the mail. I was TRYING to get it taken care of now because PlayStation has this amazing special of them giving a 125 account credit if you spend 500+ but that special is expiring today which is sad cause that was a nice little rebate. But....it is what it is. I just hope the MWII bundle doesn't go up in price. I'm mainly getting that because it has the game and that's like what? 65 bucks?

I'm high key hoping the games I bought through the PlayStation store on my PS4 will transfer to the PS5 but I'm not too hopeful. I know my Borderlands 3 copy will. Not sure about Tiny Tina's assault on dragon keep.

A part of me is concerned about getting a new credit card but I COULD have used affirm and paid out over 6 months but those loans always stress me out. I did it for my last two Hot Toys purchases and was able to make the payments on time but I just stress all the same.

And this playstation card is only being used for this purchase. I might add Jedi Survivor since I don't think it's going on sale any time soon and holy shit the second market on PS5 games is a scam. A used MWII was like 55 bucks so ten dollars off the new version of the game. Ya'll are tripping.

And in other, other news I am still super bored with my hair. I've been watching too many Brad Mando videos and this one DIY YTber who has the most gorgeous hair that kinda ranges from a super pale gray with a hint of lavender to a more steel lavender color. It's gorgeous. I have also never bleached my hair aside from getting some highlights.

But I was kinda pinteresting and found a couple of stunning examples that I kinda want to try out

This is like a silvery ashy gray but there's a dark purple shadow root which looks awesome but I'd prolly be better off going to something closer to my natural color.

Not to that extreme and I'm not even sure a shadow root is a thing you can do on a pixie like mine. But it definitely evokes something in me.

It's not so extreme either though a lot of work places don't care about crazy hair color, especially call centers and if I had to in a pinch I'm sure I could go to the hair dresser and just have them tone to a pale ash gray. And honestly? I've never seen myself as a blonde. I'll prolly have to go see Juan about the vinyl decals so I might stop my old boss's sister's hair salon which is attached to the shop Juan took over.

I am not in a rust to get this done but I am super strongly considering it.

Okay I am closing out tumblr and I'm going to work on this damned fic. Not chance in hell it gets finished tonight but any progress I can make is something that inches me closer to completion.

[tweecrushconfessions]

the last text that i sent my ex was "I'm on the toilet."

It's Lev here, today, I thought I'd share something a bit more personal - a tale of my latest romantic adventure...or should I say, misadventure? You might want to grab some popcorn for this one, it's gonna be a wild ride. (I wrote this so I can finally move on & forget - for the better! I reflected it on the whole thing, yesterday.)

Alright, story time. You know how some people say their last words to their ex were something profound, like, "I wish you the best," or "I hope we can still be friends"? Well, mine was, and I kid you not, "Hey, just sitting on the toilet." Classy, right? Yep, you read that right. Toilet texting. If that's not an Olympic event, it should be.

But let's add some context to that bizarre send-off, shall we? Trust me, it was less of a cute "we share everything" and more of an unhealthy "you're not giving me enough" sort of thing (and we were pretty much the opposites). It's like we were from different planets. Money, food, music taste, humor - I mean, he thought the things I made were CRINGE. Now, that was the ultimate deal-breaker. And then, like a cherry on top of this disaster sundae, my notifications stopped working. Yes, I swear on my mom's homemade stew, it wasn't me ignoring him. (I mean, come on, it's not like I was chilling in a spa - I just couldn't reply for a hot 5-20 minutes. We're not running a crisis hotline here). Everyone knows that my notifications are as reliable as the British weather, and even if it were, did he really need to know about every piece of toilet paper I was using?

After much reflection, I decided that it wasn’t working out. The relationship didn't survive much longer after that text, thankfully.

But hey, don't get all somber on me. The breakup was a blessing in disguise. Honestly, I'm doing better than ever. I feel like a weight has been lifted, and I've found a newfound freedom in doing things just for me.

And guess what? The music? Yeah, it's playing loud and clear now, without any background noise of criticism. I'm living the indie-pop dream!

So, in retrospect, that breakup text while I was on the throne (I mean, the toilet) might be the funniest and most symbolic thing I've ever done. In a weird way, it was the beginning of me flushing away a relationship that wasn't serving me anymore. And, guess what? There's a new guy! Let's call him Mr. Tolerant because that's what he is – tolerant and understanding. He doesn't cringe at my zines (he actually thinks they're cool!), and is on the same wavelength about important things. Sometimes, it's essential to step away from situations that make you lose your essence, your flavor. Once you find yourself again, you can share your life with someone who loves your version of weird, because let's be honest, we're all a bit weird.

And note-to-self, if you ever find yourself having to text someone while on the toilet just to keep them happy, it's probably time to hit the flush button.

Until next time!

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3198

today i slept in and i ended up showing my mom the dresses i got yesterday. she likes the lace one better than the off the shoulder one, which i fully expected. but honestly my favorite is the pink sundress that i didn't even try on yesterday - the girl at the register was pretty and tall and called me "friend" and i might've panicked a little bit but i looked at it and found a 3x and said "this one" and lo and behold it's perfect. it just doesn't have pockets.

i word the pink one today.

i stopped for gas and paid less than $3 a gallon and then i got orange juice on my skirt which i rinsed out with a bottle of water that i'd left in the car for a few days, which worked really well. and it dried before i even got to joel's because it got up to 78° today, and i drove around with the windows down because it was nice. i stopped at dunks on the way over for a coolatta and some donuts. good life choice.

d&d today was good - i even got to pay attention a little bit despite not taking my meds. we planned for and made it back to the abyss so we could find red's sister who we lost when we were down here originally to save helm. after a day and a half of shifting terrain and whipping sand, we found her! she had a half-snake companion with her and was a tad bit mad so before taking a long rest to regain my only 7th level spell slot to planeshift, i got rid of the madness and the snake lady mouthed "thank you" to me because she was getting SO fed up with the sister's antics. so we got spring (the sister) and made it to the river styx where the snake lady got in and floated downriver to her own level of the abyss where she needed to get back to so she could reclaim her rightful place on the throne after being wrongfully imprisoned. when it was out chance to make it across the river, we all had to pay a ferryman to get on his boat to go to the next place, which was to save our original ship's navigator from when we went there in the first place. thankfully neither of them were down as far as we went the first time, so it's a lot easier to get there. that's where the session ended.

after game, we decided on dinner and i went and grabbed it (we got diner food because it's what i wanted), and we enjoyed different things for which i realized i was very grateful. i love restaurants and stuff because they have so many different things prepared to cook and if you do that at home you make a bunch of one thing and everybody eats the same thing but i could have an omelette and some potatoes and joel could have eggs and french toast and john could get meatloaf and it was all good. i love the concept of restaurants and not having to eat the same thing as everyone else. not everyone likes the same things as i do so it's less painful to say "yes let me get this thing i know i like" as opposed to "i still don't like meatballs, i don't like that kind of salad, i still can't eat cucumbers, and bananas make my tongue itchy." i can worry about my diet without impacting what other people eat. it's helpful.

and when i had eaten my dinner and hugged joel, i headed home. but i stopped at dairy queen first for a chocolate cone and a root beer.

once home i just sat with my mom and i helped her by getting some things and i squished her feet and grabbed her new damp cloths so she would be a little comfier and i adjusted her seat so she could sleep as best she could. she still feels awful. i'm sad she doesn't feel good :c i hope she feels better for wednesday :(

and now i'm in bed and i am happy i was able to fully charge my devices today and i'm happy it's bedtime because i am very tired. good news is my shoulders hurt less. so that's good.

that's all. i'm probably gonna go see joel tomorrow at some point. got a lot of shit to do tomorrow. bleh.