#that and avoiding other obligations

[clumsypuppy]

adhd comix

[neverendingford]

.

[alienaiver]

1 week left before next lecture

have i started my prep? 4% i think

am i panicking? a little yea

do i believe in the power of my adhd ass suddenly having superpowers and finishing it last minute? i hOPE SO

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Okay sooo...in relation to my last post, which I will try and not verbatim, I am considering having this blog still be its own thing for Cars and all that jazz, still serving as my 'main' blog. And then having a separate blog(ONE. JUST ONE.) Where I put alllll my nonsensical ramblings or gushing or whatnot over other characters there. So it will be two blogs total. Just this one serving the same purpose it always has, and then a second one that will just be a jambalaya of "Oh I wonder what Kane has dug up in the mines this time. Let's go find out!"

How I am going to merge everything from my other blogs, I'm....not too sure. Since it'll all be just one big bang of different fandoms that'll sway a lot from how much I am or amn't fixated on them, I probably won't go too crazy with making different links to things like my S/Is story with them or whatnot, and I will just cut it all down to one carrd so there's not like five different ones to read through.

I think I will keep the other blogs simply as archives, if you will, just because sometimes I like to look back at myself losing my own mind. But I won't post from those blogs anymore, they will simply just be...floating around.

[callmep3rcy]

One of my housemate so consistently wants to use the kitchen as I'm using the kitchen it's kinda bizarre

[charrfie]

Staying up way past my bed time bc I am drawing so many things. Goodnight everypony

[midgardianqueenreturns]

Am I the only one who genuinely enjoys both Three Houses and Engage?

[cesium-sheep]

we were talking about approaches to presents yesterday cuz my step-grandma did die a couple days ago (rip lady whose name I did not know and whose son does not really matter to me) and it's like well shit guess I'd better make my stepdad an extra present then, and matt was throwing out ideas like "well maybe we could find out her birthstone and make it the same color or something" and I was just bluntly like "I do not care that much about this man." and he said something about how the amount of thought he puts into his gifts is about him and his own reputation as much as (or more than) the recipient, and later I was able to put together that like, yes, for sure, I will always put thought into my gifts, but it's a question of effort. I never give someone a gift that's truly "whatever fuck you gift basket" even when I do give people gift baskets, because I still think a lot about what I'm choosing and why. even last year when everyone got craft fair leftovers I thought about who got what and why.

but because I make almost all my gifts, different people rate different amounts of effort. like, if you have a parent die or some other Shit Year stuff going on I'll probably make something extra warm that year, but if you're normally only on the list out of obligation rather than fondness it's going to be basic and made with yarn I had left over. if you're extra niceys to me I'll probably try to make you something extra if I can. also obviously my partners are the top of the christmas effort list because they're the people that are most involved in my life, even if it looks a little less weighted than many people's christmases just because the full effort list is uhhhh larger than average. (this is heavily simplified from how it used to be before I obtained the means to make socks with relative ease, thereby providing a "base gift" that can be given to almost everyone/anyone. obviously people that can't receive socks get worked out slightly differently, though the base principle is the same.)

the comparison I used is that like, matt may go to the mall to shop for anyone, but he would only go to a specialty store out of his way for certain people. the amount of thought is the same, but the amount of effort changes.

look I know there's still a month left of halloween but I've been having a fuck of a time for uhhhhhhhh A While and christmas and gifts therefor are Important to me.

[bnnywngs]

thinking about mdzs parents in modern houses

the jin would definitely be that couple who have this big ass massion, with a gigantic master bedroom, but each would have their own separate walk-in closet and bathroom, and a bed big enough to never touch each other while sleeping, their only son's bedroom on the other side of the house, away from them

the jiang would sleep in different bedrooms, children close to them and only 1 guest bedroom because they're not obligated to welcome people to sleep in the same house

nie a-die would, absolutely, make a custom extra big bed so he can sleep with his beloved wives, the children somewhat way from their bedroom because it's convenient for their night life, they also have this gigantic tub on their suite so the three can use it at the same time

the lan.... would probably sleep in the same bedroom, but in different beds, like those 60's couples, children close to them so they can keep an eye

the wei would have this little two bed one bath cottage 1h from the city where they grow their own vegetables and probably have a goat, they probably have a spreadsheet/blackboard somewhere in the house about the time each can use the bathroom and for how long; would they have solar panels? 🤔

and their children would probably live in the same area/neighborhood/building, with different consistency levels of visiting their parents

[butchlifeguard]

im so good kisser coded but was born a bad kisser. injustices

[autistichalsin]

Periodic rent-lowering-gunshots:

Fiction is not reality.

You can enjoy things in fiction that would be awful in the real world. Like playing a murderhobo in a game! In the real world, being or supporting a murderer-thief would be pretty damn awful, while in the game it's just good fun. Same with anything else you choose to do with the pixels on the screen, like kinks that don't affect anyone real, so they're okay in fiction, but would be pretty damn bad in real life.

No one else is responsible for your online experience. They are required not to harass you, but they are not and never will be obligated to not post about ships, kinks, or tropes you dislike just to avoid you seeing them. It's up to you to blacklist words or phrases, block tags, or even block users as needed to avoid seeing content that upsets you.

No one can force you to read anything against your consent. Any content you don't like seeing can be instantly avoided by closing out of the offending post/fic.

You are not owed an online experience free of discomfort.

Nothing that happens in your imagination can ever make you a bad person. Words you write or read about fictional characters will never make you a bad person.

The claim that media consumption influences real-life behavior is intellectually dishonest and serves only to excuse the behavior of real offenders.

Fiction is a safe way to explore horrifying or confusing concepts. Therapists agree that fiction, even (or especially) about taboo topics is a good coping mechanism, especially, but not exclusively, for trauma survivors. Fiction is to adults what play therapy is to children. This doesn't stop being true if the work in question is of a sexual nature.

Sex isn't an inherently worse or better motivation than anything else. A work written to create feelings of arousal isn't dirty, shameful, or in any way less pure than works written to entertain, provoke moral questions, or for other reasons. And worth noting is that multiple purposes can exist in the same story, especially fanfiction.

You aren't entitled to an explanation for why someone reads, writes, or otherwise enjoys certain works, kinks, tropes, ships, etc.

[plainclothesdisaster]

DPxDC Mechanical Engineer Danny

Danny caught the attention of Batman while studying at Gotham University for his alternative energy projects. He’s hired right out of college to work on the Watchtower.

He shows absolutely no tell of his abilities till there’s a dire situation- Flash’s electric discharge messes with one of his projects in progress and the whole base would have lost air pressure if he hadn’t done a quick fix using telekinesis and ice.

Of course Batman notices.

Batman assumes the worst- he suspects Danny’s a rogue of some kind, someone who has infiltrated the Justice League with an ulterior motive. But he can’t just fire Danny now- he’s the only one who knows how the new Watchtower energy source works. Plus, he’s not letting Danny go anywhere until he’s figured out his true motives.

Cue Batman subtly testing Danny- tossing things at him to trigger inhuman fast reflexes, having him lift too-heavy machinery, setting up convenient opportunities to steal or snoop or otherwise be up to no good. Danny does take advantage but only once, to use a computer terminal with unlocked clearance. He didn’t plant any bugs that Barman could find, and he otherwise kept up his powerless civilian act perfectly.

Still, Batman’s not satisfied. He brings an infrasonic sound emitter to Danny’s lab one day, and that, of all things, is what gets Danny to break.

“I know what you’re doing,” Danny admits with a sigh, finally. “If you’re really that suspicious of me, I can leave, but I kinda like my job so I’d prefer not to. The benefits are insane compared to what’s standard.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure. yeah. How about you turn off the freaking noise generator and we can talk?”

“Hm.” Batman obliges, and he takes the stool next to Danny at his gesture.

“Number one, I’m not a meta. Despite all the data and conclusions you’ve probably drawn otherwise. Number two, I’m on your side. I’m here to work on the base, that’s it. I follow your rules to the letter.”

“The-“

“The classified files I looked at? Yeah that was the one exception. You already know what I looked at, I’m sure, but maybe you haven’t figured out why. It goes back to point one- I may not be a meta, but I am something that organization, the GIW, cares about. I looked at your files on them to sus out your relations. Seeing as I don’t particularly love being the victim to twelve degrees of human rights violations if I can avoid it.”

“Hm.” The Ghost Intelligence Ward was one of many government agencies that the Justice League hadn’t worked closely with. But they also hadn’t been flagged for Justice League investigation. Danny’s comments made him doubt that call.

“Any other questions?”

“If you’re not a meta, what are you?”

“I’m an engineer. A pretty decent one. And I’d really, really like it to stay that way.”

Batman considers, and ultimately lets him stay. He likes Danny (everyone likes Danny), and it would be a massive pain in the ass to replace him. He really is a good engineer.

It’s only much later that his faith in Danny is repaid in spades.

Batman finds Danny on the Watchtower command bridge. Alarms are blaring, the station has been knocked out of orbit, out the window there’s shrapnel floating everywhere as a space battle rages around them.

On the station it’s chaos. Technicians run around, shouts from the med bay, sparks from the walls.

Batman and Danny stand at the main controls, watching the battle outside, stoic, unmoving.

Wonder Woman’s harried voice crackles through on coms: “We need backup.”

“There is no more backup.” Batman replies, while looking pointedly at Danny.

“What?”

Batman doesn’t move.

“What.”

“The impact from Darkseid’s initial attack should have sent this station on a terminal trajectory toward the planet.”

“Well. We aren’t currently plummeting to our deaths, so turns out it didn’t do that.”

“You did something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re lying.”

“Maybe Superman nudged us back on course in all the chaos.”

“I’ve been watching the trackers. No one else with the capability has come near the station.”

“Can’t you just be grateful we got lucky?”

Sounds of peril screech over the coms. Danny’s face scrunches.

“Luck had nothing to do with it. As it is now, we are going to lose this fight.”

“Isn’t there anyone else you can call?”

“I’m asking you. You can help, can’t you?”

The glare-off lasts a long moment more before Danny breaks.

“Fuck. Fuckity fuck.” Danny runs his hands through his hair. “Shit. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I’m asking you to save this and countless other worlds from a genocide. I’m also asking you to save my friends.”

Danny looks at him, hard, weary, and with a kind of deep resolve that feels far too ancient to be on the face of a supposed twenty-something.

“Fine. Fine. Okay.” He steps back and transforms. If Batman is surprised when he shakes off his human appearance like an old coat, he doesn’t show it. But what’s undeniable is the being in Danny’s place has the unmistakable presence of power.

“No one else can know.” His voice echoes in a way that’s sonically impossible, both sounding closer and further away than he should be.

He pulls a gear-shaped medallion seemingly out of thin air and puts it over his head in one motion.

“If I get in trouble for this, I’m blaming you.”

He vanishes. Outside, the shape of the battle changes instantly. The stars seem to glow brighter as the arms of the galaxy flash with the colors of the aurora. Then it’s like the void of space itself comes alive. It moves the spaceships back like they’re toys, plucking them from one side of the field to the other. It finds Darkseid at the heart of the chaos and massive arms of nothingness and darkness wrap around him. He’s screaming as it swallows him whole.

His armies scatter. The battle turns. The JL deal with the stragglers, but the air of relief is palpable.

Danny reappears next to Batman, once again donning his grease-stained coveralls. Arms folded.

“Happy?”

It took all of five minutes. Less, probably. Batman tamps down a thousand questions.

“Thank you.”

“I’m gonna need two weeks off minimum.” Danny snaps. “One to deal with the bureaucratic nightmare you’ve just caused me, and another to recover from the headache.”

Batman blanks. “Granted.”

Danny sighs. “And I’m not fixing the station until I’m back. It won’t fall out of the sky as is. Make up whatever excuse you want.”

“Done.” He considers. “I would prefer to tell them the truth. That you saved us.”

Danny glares. “I’m not supposed to save you. I made a pact not to use my power to influence the mortal realm.”

“A pact with who?”

Danny rolls his eyes. “The embodiment of Time. The concept of Justice. Among others.” He smirks at Batman’s confusion.

“And what, exactly, does that make you?”

He stands, framed by the space window, haloed by the stars. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

Batman frowns.

“Look. I like you guys. I like working on your base. I like supporting the work you do. But you can not go factoring me in to any of your plans or contingencies. This was a one time thing.

“So to answer your question again: I’m an engineer.”

[skin-slave]

I know that there are those who claim to never engage with faith (chosen belief in literally anything that isn't an established fact). I cannot discount that possibility. However, ime, ppl just don't recognize when they're doing it.

Things like suspending disbelief for entertainment, or thinking that their dog understands that they're going thru a breakup, or that honoring a deceased person's wishes matters to that person, or that anyone will beat a statistical disadvantage, or that spinosaurus was a wading predator... None of that is factual. It's faith.

Faith is not being mistaken about a fact. It's knowing that something has not been shown to be fact, and choosing to hold it to be true. It's not a replacement for evidence-based belief. It's also not inferior to evidence-based belief. It's a separate thing that serves a separate purpose.

To the part that matters...

As soon as we start thinking we're too X for Y, we make ourselves vulnerable to Y. If I'm sure I'm too careful/smart/grown-up/logical to ever engage with faith, I'm not examining my beliefs. I'm not actively maintaining perspective. I'm not thinking about it. I don't need to. I'm not like that.

That's a huge blind spot, begging to be exploited. And exploiting blind spots is a career for some ppl. The way we protect ourselves is to recognize that none of us are too X for Y, and pay attention.

humans need a healthy dose of believing in benign bullshit. four leaf clovers. salt over the shoulder. if you don’t let it out in little ways it builds up inside of you where it rots until you join qanon.

[phoenixyfriend]

If I may interject? While the excuse generator is probably fine to use, Pizza Hut as a company is on the organic boycott list at BDS.

This is due to their support of IDF soldiers through free pizza and the like.

Don't buy from any of the consumer or organic boycott targets, please! Some are unavoidable (like Google, Amazon, HP), but the fast food should be easier to bow out on.

Okay. So. Pizza Hut has a bonkers Valentine's Day PR stunt called "goodbye pies" where you can send someone a pizza to break up with them.

Sure. Fine. Capitalists gonna capitalism. Whatever.

BUT!

The website they created for the whole thing has a breakup excuse generator? And some of these things are actually funny.

We want different things. For example, I want someone else, and you want me.

I need to spend more time with my pet tarantula, and on an unrelated note I never learned how to love.

I know you're just using me to reach high stuff in your apartment.

So yeah, if anyone's writing break up stories for Valentine's Day, here are some free prompts?

Please note: the font on that website is horrendous, so I recommend making use of the accessibility features.

[drdemonprince]

The conversations about accountability & apologies that we've been having in social justice circles these last few years have basically trained everybody to fawn.

We've been telling people that if they are accused of any wrongdoing or of hurting anybody's feelings, it is their obligation to apologize immediately, and never to hedge, disagree, or to explain their rationale what they've done.

In their apology, we expect them to articulate every single thing that they have done that was damaging in the strongest language possible and to declare outright that they have harmed someone, often multiple groups of people, even if they are not sure of the impact (or could not even possibly be sure).

If a person's apology is anything but immediate and entirely self-excoriating, we accuse the person of downplaying the damage they have done, failing to be accountable, and manipulating others.

In this way, we've made it impossible for a person to ever take their own side lest that be taken itself as a form of wrongdoing. We have trained our fellow social-justice-minded people to believe that if they do anything but worsen the case against themselves, they are being irresponsible.

I say we, in all of this, because I have partaken in all of this rhetoric, made these kinds of criticism, given accused people this type of advice.

And I have followed it myself, often to a damaging effect.

I have taken responsibility for problems in which I truly did not believe I played a part, I've overstated the damage that I've done so as not to risk understating it, I've ascribed malice to my intentions when I knew it wasn't there, I've agreed with people's most negative, bad-faith narratives about conflicts involving me that they were not even present for, offered up information about myself that was not a third party's business in the name of transparency, apologized for things I haven't done -- and in doing all of this, I have denied my loved ones the opportunity to really hear me about what I was going through and my motivations when I was in conflict with them, things that any true friend or close associate would obviously want to hear about if they cared about me.

This aim of giving the perfect apology and taking perfect accountability has been nothing but an isolating force in my life, because it has barred me from openly entering into necessary conflict with people when our needs were incompatible or they had hurt me just as much as I'd hurt them. The fear of being a manipulative, unaccountable DARVO-er has led me to roll onto my back and expose my belly, falling over myself with panicked apologies and the most unflattering information possible cast in the least explicable light, almost outright begging for others to become angrier at me and believing that it was only way I could ever possibly be accepted back.

We've drilled into people that the way to be good and responsible is to allow people to view us as negatively as possible, to even arm others with information that will confirm that point of view, and to never insert our own perspective or needs on the matter at all.

And yeah, there are a lot of shitty people out there who dodge accountability easily because their power ensconces them from any consequences. but the primary problem with that was never that they wrote a shitty notesapp apology that used the unforgivable phrase "I am sorry if you felt XYZ." The real problem was that there was no community that held enough influence to hold them to account, and for their victims there weren't ever adequate supports or protections.

instead of addressing any of that in a remotely systematic way, we have taken to picking apart every accused person's every word and deed for evidence of inner moral failure and created a culture in which we think we can determine a person's safety by how artfully they put words together when they are under threat. and what do you know, plenty of bad faith actors and conflict avoidant cowards and people who just dont understand what they are even being accused of can do that just fine.

[homunculus-argument]

There's one very convenient way to avoid unnecessary arguments. When you hear someone make a claim that is different from what you think, ask yourself: Are these two statements mutually exclusive? Or is it possible for both of them to be true at the same time, or even be two different ways to word the same statement? Let's try some example statements, some of which are true, some of which are not, to see whether they pass the test:

Socrates was killed for being annoying.

Ireland has historically always been a part of France.

Migratory birds fly south for winter because it makes them happy.

Most cars run on water.

Let's take statement #1: Was Socrates killed for being annoying? No, he was sentenced to death for his blatant rejection and disregard of social norms, his abrasive method of arguing, and because he was seen as a corruptor of youths who learned to copy his conduct and ways of arguing. Now ask yourself: Are these two claims mutually exclusive? Sentencing someone to death can be counted as a way of killing somebody, even if he made the choice to drink the poison on his own. It is even less of a stretch to claim that being deliberately against common customs, arguing with people abrasively, and having teenagers copying your conduct is annoying. Therefore, it can be said that Socrates was killed for being annoying.

Now let's take statement #2: Has Ireland historically always been a part of France? No, Ireland has never been occupied by France, and the two are culturally and linquistically very distinctly separate from each other. These two statements are mutually exclusive, and therefore worth arguing over.

Statement #3: Do migratory birds fly south for winter because it makes them happy to do so? No, migratory birds migrate because they have an instinctive need to do so. Now ask yourself again: Are these two claims mutually exclusive? Is an instinctive need, by definition and principle, a joyless obligation that an animal feels like it must do, as a boring and unpleasant chore? No, an instinct is not by necessity a repulsive task that an animal does not want to do. Therefore, it can be said that migratory birds fly south because it makes them happy to do that.

Statement #4: Do most cars run on water? No, most cars run on some type of oil or diesel. Can cars running on oil or diesel somehow be interpreted as running on water? No. These statements are mutually exclusive, so therefore worth arguing over.

Try this quick rule of thumb the next time you feel like someone said something blatantly incorrect. You might find yourself having far less frustrating arguments that benefit nobody, and perhaps even make some friends.