#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths

[konic0]

"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP

THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT

I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.

The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?

We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN

And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.

Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?

And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.

And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.

Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.

"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.

"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.

In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.

[helianskies]

ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

[snowsinterlude]

how to tame a brat. (incel coriolanus x reader)

summary: where coriolanus snow plan to tame you backfired terribly, but at least those sweatpants served to get him fucked.

based on this!!

c.w: incel submissive!coryo, dom (implied) fem!reader, masturbating (male recieving), degrading (misogynistic phrases and coryo being a little bitch <3), incel boyfriend, misoginy, p in v

your sweet and pretty boyfriend, coriolanus snow, was the biggest misogynistic bitch you knew. which was a shame, he's so pretty it's embarassing to hear the ugly things he has to say about you.

then, scrolling through his phone, he saw a trend- well, not exactly a trend, but more like... a video of a blonde girl, saying how weak she felt when she saw her boyfriend wearing grey sweatpants and etc. and then there was another video of a movie, a woman writing 'whore' on the mirror with her lipstick while the legend said something like 'me when i notice myself looking down his pants when he's wearing grey sweatpants', and of course, all the sluts on the comment section agreed, saying that all of them agreed with the video, calling themselves whores and etc. and what is best than to go and tame the beast you were following the videos description?

so now, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a black compression shirt, he entered your room, only to be find by your giggling smile as you laid eyes on his pants.

"what's the occasion for you to be wearing such revealing clothes?" you asked, giggling as you called him over to bed.

"decided to try something different"

"because..?"

"because i'm trying to see if i can tame a bitch with a dick" he said, looking down on you as he standed next to your bed.

you arched your brow, your smile getting wider as you giggled to him, your laugh getting louder until the moment he got on top of you.

"what's that for, coryo? the only bitch i know here is you, baby" you said, hands travelling to his stomach and fingers travelling up and down his defined waist. "you're always so eager, aren't you, baby?"

your voice echoed through his senses as he grinded on you, your legs wrapping around his waist because of his hands as you talked to him as one talk to a dog, baby voice and everything.

"have i been a bad girlfriend?" you pouted, making fun of his face while your hand runned through his hair like he was a pet and he growled at you.

"stop being a slut and just take it like all those other bitches do"

"what other bitches? you were a virgin before me, baby" you kissed his lips, changing positions.

and that was when it hit him. he couldn't tame you. you were always the one taming him. and you were right, the only bitch in this relationship was you, pretty, sweet and beautiful you. with your plump pretty lips degrading him, your sweet scent filling his senses and your degrading words going straight to his dick.

as your hand pumped his cock, he tried his best to hold in his moans, eyes welling up, all teared up as his blushing cheeks seemed to heat up from shame, your pretty pussy grinding on his cock while you're at it.

"tell me, coryo" you begin, and he looked at you, clear crystal eyes tearing up as he thrusted his hips upwards, wanting to fuck you already "how long are you going to pretend that you're not a bitch?"

"i'm not a bitch, stop it!" he said, groaning as his hand gripped on your waist.

"oh but you are, baby. you're always in heat for me, that's why you're always calling me a bitch." you said, sweet lips kissing his temple. "you can't stand the fact that your dick is always up for me, so you decide to treat me like a slut when in reality you're the one who's my slut."

"no, that's-" he cried out from pleasure at the second you teased his tip, passing it through your slick while his body squirmed, his hips thrusting upwards again. "please, y/n, just let me cum inside you"

he begged, breathless as his tears rolled down. you kissed all of them, at least, all you could kiss.

"so you're admiting you're a whore?" you teased

"no, i just- please, please, let me just enter you" he begged, lips trembling as they brushed against your boobs.

"ownt, who would know coriolanus snow would be so eager to be fucked?" you teased, finally pushing him in as you held back a moan. no matter how many times you had sex, his cock was always so big and heavy for you, throbbing and twitching inside you as you kissed his tears. "c'mon, baby, admit it."

"o-okay. okay, just please- please let me cum." he begged, pulling himself deeper inside of you, and then you were bouncing and he was grabbing your boobs, and he hated being under you, he felt like a... like a bitch.

"use your words, baby. you can do better than that." god, you were terrible. you were such a meanie to him that he couldn't stop crying on your neck, kissing, biting and sucking on your skin as you bounced more and more. "uh-uh, baby, you gotta use your words, not your teeth"

your thumb entered past his lips, making him suck on it as he cried and moaned on your thumb.

"c'mon, coryo, my beautiful snowflake," you started, riding him with love and lust. "tell me, who's the bitch in this room?"

"ngh, it's me. it's m-me" he said, all dumb and pretty to you.

"mhm, good boy. keep going. who's the slut here?"

"it's me. it's me. i'm sorry, babe. it's me" he said, moaning like a bitch as your walls gripped him, his hands grabbing your hips and keeping you still while he fucked himself into your cunt.

"good boy, good boy! god, you're so pretty when you're not throwing a tantrum baby." you said, looking at him and moaning on his lips, scratching his back. "you're the best, baby. the best bitch i've ever had."

and those words were enough for him to cum inside you, rope after rope as you came around his cock too, kissing his lips and forehead while your thumbs caressed his cheeks.

"you happy now?" you asked, his dick still buried deep inside you.

"mhm." he nodded, breathlessly.

then, after all of that and a good warm bath (that ended up with another round, this time with his mouth eating you out) you put him to change the sheets – something he claimed to be a woman chore, but was too fucked out to remember – to new ones, and then you cuddled with him while caressing his hair, his head resting on your arm.

[inkskinned]

everyone talks about the clothing store and honestly everyone is expected to wear stuff from that store and you're a little young and curious, and what's the harm of looking. it's in all the magazines and everyone knows okay some of the things are ugly but! like generally everyone thinks we should be wearing these clothes. they're elite. they're precious. they are a symbol of wealth and status.

you walk into the clothing store and see a very nice sweater and you've been wanting to stay warm so you pick up the sweater. it turns immediately into a horrible fizzing froth, rushing over your skin, faintly acidic. it's tacky, it leaves behind a residue. horrified and a little ashamed - did you do it wrong? - you reach out blindly and your hands find a shirt. that one dissolves too. you think of the phrase you break it, you bought it. how much money did you just accidentally spend on that shirt and that sweater, both things that you'll never be able to wear.

more confused than anything, you turn to the first person you see, but she's experiencing the same thing, her brows furrowed. "i've been here since i was 13," she says. "one of these days i'll actually get to try on something."

you were raised with horror movies, so you look for an escape instead of trying to stay. you go to the front desk and wait in the front line and when you finally get to the front, a very angry man is sitting there, scowling at you. "i think your store is broken," you say to him. "i can't pick up any of your clothes. they don't work."

it is as if you have said something vile. every person within earshot takes a step back from you. the man gives you a cool look. "these clothes are good for you," he says.

"no, i know that," you've read about them, "but i can't seem to actually hold them."

again, everyone seems to think you've said the wrong thing. some of them are holding shirts, so obviously some clothes work. those are the people you hear whispering first. lazy. someone murmurs. i managed fine, you hear. i just had to keep trying.

the man taps a sign next to him. in big bold print: not everyone can have this.

"okay, um. if you're not going to be helpful, i'm just going to... not buy this," you manage, feeling yourself flush with heat. why are you so embarrassed? their clothes are the thing that aren't working.

"i don't have time for people who don't dress themselves well," he says. "it's disgusting."

you don't know what else to say because actually you dress fine, you're pretty sure, you're just not in their clothes. you leave the store.

but your hands are still tacky from before. you find yourself weirdly sensitive about your clothes. maybe you should go back in, try again? there were people who were able to make the clothes stay present, you might have just been doing something weird.

plus there's the rest of the world. how people look at you in airports. how shame rushes over your cheeks during job interviews, worried you don't look "professional" enough. the people across you are all wearing those clothes, and you're not. in the doctor's office, the nurse's eyebrows skyrocket. are you sure you actually went into the store and tried on the clothes? you're staring at her - i'm here to see about my cough, not about my wardrobe.

but of course it fucking matters. when you google it, you find out that most people can only hold onto the clothes for about two years or so, and then they fizzle out too. that the clothes only "stick" for 5% of customers. it just means that any person in those clothes matters more. it's a scarcity. at first, you're horrified by the idea of something that almost never works. but you learn it soon enough: being in the 5% means you have taste, class, are exceptionally pretty.

you try to ask why exactly it's these clothes, but you usually are answered with an eye roll. you ask why the prices are so high. why nobody seems to care about the way their clothes leave that weird strange residue for years later. there's a sizing chart online you find, hoping it might explain your weird inability to lift anything. most of the news articles all read the same thing - this chart was made by someone cruel and definitely isn't accurate, but for some reason it is still used as our golden rule.

so you go again. you fall too. it's worth it to try. even kind of ironically. even kind of privately, shamefully. this time you go and manage to hold onto socks, but it means you sometimes get that strange residue on your floors. you get used to the tackiness after a while, but when you manage to hold onto pants, you discover the tackiness spreads. sure, it's irritating - this sense there's a barrier between everything you touch, even you and your friends - but it's worth it, because people notice you're in those pants. and you don't want to be one of the 95% who lose them after all this fucking work you put in, so you let the tack get all over everything until it dries down into a fine powder that coats your floor in a brick red flurry. when you walk, your footprints look bloody, so you just learn to step gently.

and since it worked for you once, like gambling - you will come back. you will teach others how to get into the store. you will tell your own children - oh, you just have to keep trying at the clothing store. you will let others treat you badly when you are not wearing the right things. you will spend all that money over and over and over again and you will feel ugly if you are not wearing their brand. you are simply treated better if you dress like this. you feel better if you dress like this, secretly winning over your friends who are between sizes. it doesn't matter how much time you spend at the store, missing birthday cakes and parties because you're trying to make a dress look nice before dissolving. what matters is that when it works, all that relief and joy and peace rushes in. when it works, people finally love you again.

the diet industry promises you - it'll all be okay, once you're thin.

[berrieluv]

Matt Murdock and younger!reader. cw. bimbo reader because why not? we're fulfilling my dream of being a white man's stupid hoe. this is pure fluff, honestly, just a bit of angst in a cut but quickly resolved. also mentions of sex. this is boring but I'm sorry I really need love and affection.

Matt looked at you and blinked a few times, it was a wonder for him how you had no filter when it came to things.

"But you can't be blind" You told him, a few dates later into your relationship. He was amused on how you didn't catch the man you were dating was blind. Yes, he knew he managed life pretty well with all his senses "I saw you fighting against those men at the bar who were saying nasty things to me... And you won!"

You say, as if it was unbelievable, which he knew it kinda was. It wasn't everyday that a blind man fights five men and wins.

"Plus, you being blind is so sad" You pout, and he frowns at your words "You can't see how pretty you are..." You close your mouth a little and then your eyes open wide; "You can't see how pretty I am!"

You panicked and Matt chuckled, sensing your concern in the atmosphere.

"Oh" He starts, soft voice and taking your hand in his "I know how pretty you are" You smile "I can tell"

"How? You can't see me" You pouted "And I don't mean 'your personality is nice' type of pretty, Matt" You look at him and get closer, he can feel your breathing in his face "I really am pretty. Like, you should see me..."

"I believe you"

"But like..." You make a smirk "Like are you really blind? Or you... Is like partially blind? Like would you get your vision back? Or you just have to live like that?"

"I've been blind most of my life. Since I was a kid, actually"

"So... you never got to see Reese Whiterspoon in Legally Blonde?"

"Not one of my biggest concerns but no, I didn't"

"But it's a film of cult!" You said "If I describe it to you, would you watch it?"

"Only for you"

You chuckle, knowing Matt is in a chokehold because of you. It haven't been long since the both of you started dating, but it was, however, a surprise for almost everyone that you even started dating.

When his best friend made a joke about Matt being blind, you legit thought he meant the kind of blind people always call men... you never thought of it in a literal way.

"You're so wrapped around my little finger, it's embarrassing" You smile "And you can't even see how pretty I am" You gasp "I'll be walking you like a dog if you could see my beauty"

Matt drops a loud laugh, because from all the people in the world, he seemed to have find the only one who could make his blindness about themselves. And it didn't bother him, he was happy that you were able to treat him as a normal person. And if he thinks about it long enough, he was treated like a 'complete' man, for long enough, before you found out he couldn't see.

Suddenly, you 'wow' "That's why you're always wearing those ugly glasses!"

"Matthew Murcock"

You yell while entering his office and Foggy looks at Matt at the sudden change of his name.

"I have no idea where she got that from" He says, smiling.

That was the day after the first time you ever had sex, when opened the door you look at Foggy, then at Matt and pout, completely forgetting he couldn't see you.

"Foggy, get out"

Matt says and you smile, walking to him as fast as Foggy leaves the office. You kneel in front of him and rest your head in his thigh; fuck you were needing him.

"Baby, you know we can't do that stuff around here. It's my office, baby" He smiles.

"You wouldn't say the same if you knew how pretty I look"

"Oh, I just know you look fucking pretty" He says, taking your body and sitting you on his lap "You wore a skirt and everything" You nod "I guess I can put my fingers inside if you like"

You nod desperately and open your legs, Matt only laughs at your neediness and starts to work.

"Mattheeeeeew"

You cry as you reach him in his bedroom, he was calm and breathing slowly, his chest going up and down and unconsciously flexing his muscles. He opened his eyes as soon as he heard you entered his flat.

"Yes, dear?" He asks, peacefully, ignoring the tone of your voice that adverts you're looking forward to create drama.

"Why didn't you call me?" He lets out a groan when you sit on top of his naked torso and put your hands on his chest "I let a sticky-note asking for you to call me as soon as you were back" You pouted.

"Darling..." He starts, calmly "How am I suppose to see that?"

"What do you mean 'how'... with your eyes, Matth–" You pout "I see..." He chuckles and you shake your head "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"

"It's fine, pretty girl"

"But I'm always so reckless" You cry, letting your head fall into his pectorals "I'm reminding you all the time that you can't see"

"It's not like I can forget it, my love"

"Yeah, you're right"

You chuckle in his chest and he feels his shorts getting a little tighter. He doesn't want to point it out, how could he when you're sharing such an intimate and cute moment. And he was sure you wouldn't notice, hell, if she didn't notice I was blind, how would she notice an erection; was what he thought the first time you gave him a boner. And what he seems to remember every time now that you give him one by accident.

The first time ever you and Matthew have a fight it's complicated. You believe he was on edge before you and him got together that day, he arrived to your department a bit more serious. This time there wasn't a kiss, or a hug, or a single word.

You were yourself at the gala he asked you a few weeks ago to go with him, but it seemed like it wasn't someone he wanted you to be. He pressed tighter your arm every time you joked, but you took that as an action he was making to decease his worries, never could you think it was because of you, since your personality was never a problem.

"What is your fucking problem?" He asked, storming into his flat, his steps were heavy and loud and you just looked at him, shyly, the first time ever you felt shy around Matt. "You couldn't just act like a mature person, couldn't you? You have to let out your childish annoying personality in one of the most important nights of my career"

"I'm sorry"

You say, with a small voice, almost afraid to ask.

"Yeah" He says, finding himself the glass and the wine he always leave in the same place, to pour himself one. "You're always fucking sorry but I never see you change anything about yourself" He hears the glass breaking into the floor and he frowns, looking directly at where he sensed you. "Did you fucking moved the glass?"

You were scared to say yes, not at Matt, you couldn't be scared of him, but now, you weren't feeling him as your Matt.

"You always do this, why do I even bother having a house if you're gonna do whatever the fuck you want with MY stuff" He walks to the room and you follow him, silent, fidgeting your fingers "I would have chose any other woman if I knew you were going to act like a fucking child!"

You feel your eyes watering and you look at him, finally saying, with a small broken voice; "Why are you talking to me like this?"

Before Matt could answer with another mean comment, he smell your tears falling on your cheeks and he felt bad. Because it wasn't your fault he has been on edge all day. Because he knew you were younger than him and it never seemed to be a problem until one of the lawyers pointed out how young and pretty you were to date someone like him.

How could you ever please her if you're blind.

"Baby... love... I'm so sorry" He says, pressing his fists against his eyes and then opening his arms "I'm so sorry, you don't, you don't deserve this. I'm– I've been better than this, you deserve better than this, my darling love, I'm an asshole"

"You are" You slowly say, letting him wrap his arms around your body "But I like you anyways"

"And I'm so lucky for that"

You nod, knowing he was in fact lucky you pulled out with this shit and you didn't leave the room immediately.

"You were being mean"

"I know, I know" He says, holding you closer to him and letting your body and his fall into the mattress. "I was just so mean to my pretty girl"

And since that, Matt made sure everything that could involve you in a fight was gone. Of course, you had the typical arguments a couple has, but you never kept them for too long. You were way too distracted and it wasn't like he wanted to keep the fight going. Not when you looked so pretty.

The first time he ever saw you mad, was so ridiculously cute, you always got mad about the bloody same thing, and Matthew couldn't take you seriously anymore.

"Why are you so f-stubborn?" You stop yourself at the curse word, and Matt smiled, knowing you're not one to curse. You were organizing both of your clothes in the closet "I always tell you the clothes go ordered by color, Matt" You cry and throw one of his shirt at him.

"Princess..." He starts, that's the pet name he choose to call you when he was about to correct something you said "How am I supposed to know that green and red are not the same?"

You're ready to yell at him again until it hits you, he can't really know. "It's imposible to get mad at you"

You pout, and he opens his arms while laughing. "C'mon, my pretty dumb girl"

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

[yuri-is-online]

Congratulations for your 500 followers! I hope I'm not late, if you don't mind I would like prompt number 2 for the first year.

Since there're only 3 characters to choose from. I'll specifically choose them, it's Deuce, Jack and Sebek.

Hope is okay.

2. "Someone" decides to ask you for your opinion about "their friend" and you decide to have a bit of fun and tease them.

My dear you are a very lucky listener, between you and another friend I have all the usual first years for this, so I am going to go ahead and swap out Deuce for Epel on this post. The others can be found here. Though if we are being honest, I probably would have gone ahead and done all five of them anyway, there's just something about them that makes you not want to separate them you know?

notes: they/them used for Yuu, Jack doesn't handle embarrassment well, Epel is a brat, and Sebek is canonically easily flustered. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist here.

Jack

He has yet to think of a good way to talk about this. Jack has always been in tune with your movements, since long before he realized what it meant; no matter the size of the crowd he could drown it all out and find your heart beat. The sound draws him towards it out of habit, though he remembers himself enough to shy just short of invading your space and making introductions. Your heart is at rest, enjoying the sights and sounds of the ball, only spiking briefly when you notice him. Is it wrong, he wonders, to wish for it to have remained elevated? Moon knows his can never keep it steady around you.

"Hi!" You sound so happy. It's enough to make him scowl, jealousy clawing it's ugly way towards his throat keeping his mouth tightly closed. "Are you enjoying the festivities?"

Jack nods, doing his best to keep his tail from flinging the cape Crewel had so carefully pinned to his shoulders across the room. Jealousy cannot dull his happiness to see you, and your kindness is seldom denied to strangers.

"That's good to hear." You say without a hint of irony, and then you turn to leave, pausing when he moves along to follow. "Are you ok?"

"I'm trying to find a friend." Jack wants to hit himself as soon as he says it. Sure, Ace had suggested it as a joke but he had insisted it was a bad idea. A terrible idea. An idea that disrespected both yours and his common sense, and yet here he was asking you anyway. "Have you seen Jack?"

Now Jack had always had your interest, but now he had your attention. "Who?" If he didn't want to die before he definitely did now. His broad shoulders sag, only slightly they're much too muscular to do much more. "Oh you mean the Savanaclaw freshmen! Right? What do you need him for?"

"I'm just... looking for him." Jack sucks at lying, he's too uptight and too strict to his own code excel at it.

The tie he feels to you screams at him every time he does, lying does not protect the pack, it hurts them. And who is more vital to the pack than-

"Just to look at?" You have your arms clasped behind your back and are smiling? "I'll admit he is very pretty but I don't think you need to be looking at him."

"I shouldn't look at him?" How cute, the poor baby is confused. You move to stand right up against his chest, watching happily as he doesn't so much as flinch a single inch.

"No no, you should keep your eyes on me. Because," you press your finger against Jack's lips as if to shush him "I'm his one and only, the only way you are allowed to admire my Jack is if you see him reflected in my eyes." One second passes. And then two more, three draw themselves out as you see Jack's teeth grind faster than the gears in his head.

You have been toying with him, he realizes as the last of his embarrassment is swallowed up in the fire that lights up in his eyes.

"Oi, don't you remember what I said las time?" Your eyes widen as Jack breaths in the scent of your excited shock. "I told you-" his arms wrap around your waist to lift you up in the air, he tells himself it's just to make leaving easier, "if you keep yanking my tail, there's going to be consequences." As if he didn't know that's exactly what you wanted.

Epel

"Well, you seem awfully lonely, are you sure you're alright?" Epel doesn't think he has ever put this much effort into Vil's ettiquite speech, but he needs to tonight. He knows he's short, he knows he has this damnable cute appearance, and he knows Rook is hovering somewhere just off screen waiting to swoop if he sees something mildly amusing.

But he just has to know, he's tried asking Deuce how you talk about him when he's not there but he had just spluttered and refused to say anything meaningful. Ace had been worse "Oh? Wouldn't you like to know apple boy-" well yeah no shit that's why he'd been asking. Jack and Sebek were denser than brick and weren't able to tell him much beyond that you thought "highly of his achievements." Great. No really that was just great. But maybe not as great as Sebek further adding that Yuu "thought he was just as capable as anyone else." That had crushed him for the better part of a week until Vil had accused him of pouting which wasn't cool guy behavior at a-

"You noticed." Yuu smiles, and his thoughts are once again derailed. It's not like their usual smiles, this one is sad. "Formal events like these are just a bit too much, I'm not used to them."

"I think they're sort of fun." It's the truth, Epel likes a good party. Really this isn't so different from home, the clothes are just less practical and more expensive. "But my buddy," that was too informal but you aren't giggling, so that has to mean he's in the clear "Epel, he used to have a real hard time with these things." You sit up just a bit straighter at the mention of his name.

"Oh, you're Epel's friend?" Silly Yuu, you thought you were talking to the man himself and excited he had been the first of your friends to come and check on you. There were some things you wanted to talk to him about, Vil was absolutely no help when you had asked if Epel talked about you when you weren't around. The hell sort of answer was "Obviously?" Not a workable one that's for sure!

"Yeah, I was wondering if you've maybe seen him around? I promised to help him with something tonight, but he's been hiding from me." As if the person speaking to you could be anyone but Epel, no one else at this school expresses his disappointment quite so beautifully as this.

"He's hiding from me too, sorry." You allow your genuine disappointment to shine through, trying to read how Epel reacts. He... doesn't exactly, instead allowing an awkward silence to fall over you that just cannot be allowed to stand. "It's really cute of him honestly."

"What?!" At least that's what you think Epel says, it's hard to hear over the angry gargle starting to brew.

"Seriously cute." You make sure to give an exaggerated dreamy sigh so he knows that he is being teased before you continue. "Really, he says all sorts of sorts of sweet things about me when I'm not around and then expects me to not know! It's adorable." Epel still doesn't budge, so you unwisely decide to press forward. "And those puffy cheeks he gets when embarrassed-" you've got a real good view of them right now "it's so sweet I could just eat him right up!" Speaking of up-

"Shut the fuck up." If there is one thing Epel is constantly reminding people of, it's that he's strong. But the force with which he guides, because a real man would never push, your back to the wall, caging you between two strong arms isn't surprising to you in the slightest. The glimmer in your eyes screams that he's been made a fool of, and that just won't do. "Well darling you think you're reaaaal funny don't cha? Well howabout youse sit your pretty little ass against that wall and let me show you something hilarious." He makes sure to kiss you slowly to make sure you are good and shut up before he continues. "Taste real nice, don't it?" And it must have worked because you nothing in favor of throwing your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer.

Sebek

Sebek is not a very self aware person. You have had several conversations with Lilia about this, his tone filled with fond amusement and yours with infatuated attraction. No one outside of maybe Rook or Cater would accept being called cute, but there was no real other word for it. Sebek was cute. Too cute, horrifically painfully adorable in a way that just made you want to eat your fist to keep from screaming and kiss all over his cheeks. And this little stunt he was trying to pull really wasn't helping.

"I am conducting a survey on Lord Malleus's retainers." Bless his heart, Sebek is trying to use his inside voice. "How exactly would you rate their performance?"

"Could you be a bit more specific?" You do not have to try very hard to sound interested, you are extremely interested in just how far this lie goes.

"Of course." Sebek sounds almost proud, he must have anticipated this line of questioning. "Have you had any problems with any of Lord Malleus's retainers?"

"Yes I have." You nod seriously and Sebek fumbles.

"O-oh. Um could I ask why?" He doesn't think to ask who, which does tug at your heart strings a bit. Poor boy might accuse Silver of being a slacker, but when someone implies there is a problem he almost always assumes it's with him. Well that just won't do.

"Certainly. Sebek Zigvolt was supposed to meet with me tonight but he seems to have forgotten that." You nod seriously enough to make Sebek choke.

"Yes." You sigh making sure to toy with your mask, flirting with giving Sebek the view of your face he wants so badly and breaking the rules of etiquette he feels honor bound to follow. "He promised me," he most certainly had not, that he would dance with me all night. I was really looking forward to it."

"WHAT? NO, I WAS- ahem." What Sebek had actually said was: "if Lord Malleus allows me I will show you how to dance so you don't embarrass the young master, human, but dont expect me to prioritize you over protecting him!" But that didn't matter to you. And clearly not to him if he was allowing Malleus to stay under Silver's inferior protection on the complete opposite side of the ballroom. He coughs into his glove as the other students around you barely budge; it's Sebek, of course he's yelling, but said boy still seems to think he's well disguised seeing as he returns to trying to lower his voice without a hint of irony. "Please continue, you said, Mr. Zigvolt was supposed to... meet with you?" You nod, refusing to give him the satisfaction of hearing any more from you just yet as you imagine the three act play currently showing underneath his mask. "Well. Since he is not here-" You barely stifle a laugh "would you care to allow me to escort you instead?"

"No."

"NO?!" That yell does get everyone's attention, some out of fear others out of pity assuming Sebek just got rejected hard. The boy himself certainly seems to think so.

"Well of course not," you make sure to lower your mask just so he knows, and cannot deny, the meaning of what you say next "I said I wanted to dance with Sebek, not someone he's pretending to be."

"Hmph." Sebek once told you fae don't blush, but that was either wishful thinking or a bold face lie with how red his entire body seems to have decided to turn. "It seems you don't quite understand the purpose of a masqurade, human. Very well, as my lord's retainer, I shall educate you." He gently, with a smile just as kind no matter how much he fights it to settle into professional indifference, pushes your mask into place and guides you towards the dance floor.

[itsyagurlchip]

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Oh Golly!٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰

✰⋆⁺warnings: anxiety x anxiety(!) lesbo action/j(!) fluff(!) slight angst(!) mentions of drowning(!) roblox respawn(!) both of them are ace(!)

✰⋆⁺IDK WHENS BI AWARENESS WEEK, BUT MINES HAS BEEN SHOWING A LOT AS OF RECENT- I hope you guys like this as much as me!

✰⋆⁺ *ugly ass horn sounds off* Y'all thought I was joking when I said I was gay for Pomni huh? Jesters are hot man. Idk what it is...

since both of you have anxiety, Pomni's being more severe, you guys comfort each other often.

Not verbally though, because, you know, it's hard for you guys to form words without thinking it would hurt the other.

Many cuddles would ensue, and no one would be the spoon. You guys would be holding each other, with tangled legs in the morning.

Since you are a bit more confident, you hold Pomni's oddly bouncy head, and kiss every insecurity off of her.

Which takes a moment...

Caine claims it "takes time away from glorious adventures" despite you two needing only 15 minutes to get yourselves together.

The games he chooses are very short anyway 💀 (unless it's story oriented)

If Pomni gets overwhelmed, but can't go anywhere, you simply hold her hand or subtly(not really) lean against her carefully.

She's probably shorter than you, making the relationship even cuter.

Imagine you just picking her up and running around the virus grounds with her.

"Hey! Put me down Please?" Pomni whimpered as her long dress flowed in between your fingers. Her hands were covering her face, her body tucking into itself the longer you walked.

"C'mon sweetheart! I only want to carry my dearest princess to her castle! What good of a knight would I be if I didn't?" You said, your metal armor clanking on beat with your footsteps.

She loves you too much to stop the act, even if Caine forced them to do it anyway. This was one of the few adventures Pomni would admit she enjoyed.

She's more likely to grab onto a limb of yours for comfort during an anxiety attack.

Anyone who isn't you she'll smack them off.

Or accidentally punt them when it's unexpected.

Pomni would love to find the exit, just to see who you really are in real life.

Would you still act the same?

Would you still take care of her the way you do?

Would you still love her?

Maybe that's why she hasn't been looking for the exit recently.....

....

Pomni isn't so sure she wants to leave as much as she did before.

"Do you ever think of leaving? Or what we may be like in real life?" Pomni asked as she sat in your lap. Her head looked up at you, her hands around all the way to your back. You were currently doing paper crafts with some shaped scissors you found, creating hearts of all kinds.

"Sometimes." You responded, pausing the creativity for a moment.

"What does that mean?"

"I just think about you, and then everything is okay. I don't need the outside world, not right now. I'm fine with what I have. Plus, having you on my mind is a pleasure I always experience." You concluded, leaving Pomni flushed bright red. Her pinwheel pupils dilated heavily, with her jaw slightly hanging downwards.

"(⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)"

When you two first met, it was about 2 weeks after Pomni's arrival.

Which raised suspicion that didn't get looked into.

Anyways- A new person was here!

But they took one look at everyone and ran.

Where to?

They themselves didn't even know, but she knew she had to get out as soon as possible.

And that's how you d*&n near drowned yourself in the digital lake!

It was very dark..Hard to breathe as easy as it was...Water rushing into your avatar...until you felt nothing

Oh look they respawned! wonder what happened to them?

Pomni was the first to approach you, asking if you had seen any exits around.

To which you raised an eyebrow at. By everyone else's response, you were new here.

how would you know!?!

So you shook your head solemnly as the jester deflated a bit.

And ever since then, you were the one she'd go to to ramble about the exit, a possible escape, random interests, and overall fear of this new bright place.

Especially because you'd be the only one willing to listen.

Having someone to relate to- straight from the start as well -was a bond you two had shared.

:)

After a few months of nothing, nada, zilch, Pomni talked less and less about it.

Leading her to focus on you.

How were you so pretty? And how does your body sway like that?

It kinda made the fool in her act up.

She started to notice more and more about you.

Like how the way your lights would shine under the low graphics of this hellhole.

Or how your voice captured her attention no matter what you were saying.

She loved the way you smiled, your tone of color.

H*&l! She could even say she's in love with y- Oh s*&t.

I mean no wonder!

But what if you don't like her? But you love her too!

Ok, but what if she isn't good enough? You think the same about yourself, and rush to reassure her.

welp. there's no arguing, you guys were dating now.

*me when I pull a jester by being autistic*

Her favorite part about you is your laugh, and the way your teeth show when you grin at her.

I mean she's a jester, what the heck?

Pomni will go out of her way to make sure you laugh at least once a day.

and by golly is it worth it!

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice. if you would like to be added, check my blog.

[youremyheaven]

Do you think those influencers who dramatically switch from very left wing Marxist alternative etc to very trad Christians (specifically in homophobic/transphobic way) have ketu influence?

You were talking about ketuvians and their struggle to find a sense of self and it made me think of these types of people. I know someone with ketu 1H and magha moon who did this to an extent. She used to identify as non binary and was constantly shifting through different names and pronouns but then one day she just kind of stopped and started saying how she thinks pride is pointless and a waste of time or whatever😭 it wasn’t *that* extreme but I still thought it was a significant shift in belief in such a short time.

I think a lot of people have this dramatic shifts not only out of a need to identify with something due to a lack of sense of self, but also because they like going back to what their parents believe for comfort. I guess those two are interlinked but it’s interesting how my friend is a magha moon and magha is associated with ancestors and whatnot.

I guess mula is somewhat similar as “the root”? Idk about ashwini though

Sorry I haven’t actually had the chance to look into examples since it’s hard to find birth data for influencers and I don’t know that many examples irl 😶‍🌫️ so this is me just going on a tangent and hoping you get what I’m trying to say LMAO

I’m also not sure if anyone else is familiar with this phenomena or if I’m just too engrossed in niche internet drama.

In terms of influencers I guess a somewhat prominent example is Freckle Zelda on tiktok? I never followed her but she went from making cutesy safe space liberal type content in like 2021 and now she’s a Christian and is using it be to super controversial. But like I said I’ve never followed her so idk if this is dramatic enough of a switch to count as what I’m saying.

I also feel like this a rahu trait to switch between extremes🤔 idk lmk what you think

I feel like the capitalist commodification of identity has most adversely affected Nodal people.

If you think about it, spirituality's aim is to transcend the "self" entirely, you stop identifying with labels and attaching yourself to this or that thing. I'm not saying you cease to be a person but you stop trying to "accumulate" identities to hold on to.

9/10 times the reason we identify with something is to feel a sense of belonging but searching outwards for it will only lead to disappointment, when we search within and feel at home within ourselves, we lose the need to externally confined ourselves to rigid "identities"

Yk how people dye their hair, get piercings/tattoos etc to mark a new chapter or the end of an old one or whatever??? It is an attempt to claim something as "yourself" and "solidify yourself". Everything changes all the time, everybody changes yet there are many people who will never dye their hair or change their name or join a cult or whatever (not that all these things are the same) its just that if you're at peace with yourself and truly grounded, you will no longer be shopping for different identities or things to associate with.

Yk those people who have IG bios that read like "Mother, Pluviophile, ESFJ, Petrolhead, UJC'22, Missourian, Ancient Spirit, 1/4th Cherokee, Bitcoin Enthusiast, EDM Lover"

like what do any of those terms say about them?? how on earth is any of this central to your identity? all of these are external ??? is loving rain and being a petrolhead central to your sense of self?? im not trying to demean anybody's interests, im only trying to point out that what we choose to make the focal point of ourselves is up to us and its possible to not be defined by anything?? i think a truly ugly consequence of capitalism is how people try to define themselves by things outside them (their interests, hobbies, job, income level, marital status etc etc) because there is more to a person than all that.

when we retreat within, we base our sense of self on our qualities like kindness, compassion, creativity (this becomes the essence of who we are) so we don't feel the need to claim 87373 other things to describe ourselves

some people overly identify with others like their partners, friends or even strangers and kind of become them. this is also the root of stan culture, by being obsessed with someone to that extent and giving them all your time and energy, you are losing your own qi and harming your Sun (the same way criticizing the appearance of others ruins your Venus)

Rahu is prone to taking things to extremes and Ketu is prone to trying on different identities and losing interest in all of them one after the other. so your observations are right.

i dont really use social media so i dont know any influencers that i can quote as examples ;-; but im thinking of certain celebrities who have had drastic style changes in the past and all of them have nodal influence lol

in the 2000s, the Olsen twins were known for their boho chic hippie style and over the last decade or so they have become known for their "quiet luxury" style. They are Magha Moon

Julia Fox is Ardra Rising and she went from basic to avant garde

Jared Leto, Mula Sun, Ashwini Moon & Rising , he's also the leader of a cult allegedly so👀i guess it all adds up

Adele, Mula Moon & Ardra Rising

im not just talking about her weight loss, just her overall change in style. she got married young and had a baby and in a couple of years she got a divorce and revamped her look to that of an ig baddie

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon she's changed her style/demeanour every other year since the early 2010s lol

Taylor Swift, Ardra Moon has also had many diff lewkzz throughout the years

before anybody says dont celebs change their styles often?? no they dont, not everybody for sure. look at Jennifer Lopez or Sarah Jessica Parker, theyve been dressing the same since the 90s. constantly evolving style/looks/personality is a Nodal thing. its also a big part of the reason why Nodal people succeed in the entertainment industry and in the material realm (a lot of rich people including Bezos have Nodal placements) because entertainment = illusion, pretending to be someone you're not and for Nodal people, this is pretty much second nature.

im sorry that my response is kind of all over the place. your question provoked some thoughts within me lol and i just had to shareee

i cant think of celebs who have drastically changed their life paths like the example u cited ;-; EXCEPT Bridget Mendler who is an actor, singer, and entrepreneur, has a PhD and went to Harvard Law and now runs a satellite company?? she also adopted a kid during all this? She has Mula Sun

anywayyys thats it for now

tysm for sending this ask!!! its a very thought provoking and interesting question<33hope u have a good day<33

[facingthenorthwind]

So while reading Halo Effect, I naturally became obsessed with the one (1) Jewish character who turns up twice, one as a brief mention and one to write a single letter. Because I am extremely normal, I am writing a fic about him. Technically I've only written the first half (the second half is Peter and Thomas meeting up with him), but it's self-contained. It's been written for literal years, so I figure I should at least post it on tumblr. I hope you enjoy it, @alex51324!! (Also I haven't Yiddishised the Hebrew yet because I only know the standard pronunciation but I'm going to get someone to do it before I post it on AO3.) Hopefully this is comprehensible to non-Jews?? Please let me know if not.

Is it breaking a mitzvah if I say mourner's kaddish for someone who might not be mourned otherwise without a minyan? At most, there's a Green who has a J on his identity disc on one of the wards, but he's currently on so much morphine I don't think he'd remember the words, Issac wrote to his father once he finally got back to his unit. Honestly, he didn't much care what his father wrote back — if God didn't like him saying kaddish for Fitz, God could come down here and tell him what alternative he had. He asked his father to send a candle so he could light it for Fitz, but crossed it out and asked him for ten candles. Fitz may have been the first, but he sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

The news of Fitz’s death had preceded Issac’s return, but nobody had touched Fitz’s belongings yet. Cruelly, the most essential things, the things that meant most to him, had gone down with him, but Rouse eventually laid out everything that was in Fitz’s rucksack so they could decide what they should send back to his family — well, his brother. Fitz had said he didn’t have any other family left. 

They decided they’d split his cigarettes between them — Scogs tried to crack a joke about how Fitz had always been so free with his cigarettes it was almost like he wasn’t gone, but he trailed off, and no one laughed. His large collection of letters went in his rucksack, of course (he seemed to get them constantly, all from different people; sometimes he had even acted as some kind of go-between, passing on information from one letter-writer to another, as if they couldn’t just write to each other themselves). The scarf he’d worn every day from Christmas until mid-April, when even he couldn’t deny it was too hot, went in as well — Issac had always thought privately that it was fairly ugly, but then again, if he tried to knit a scarf it would probably turn out much the same. 

Dawson got Fitz’s copy of Prester John out of his own pack and removed his bookmark before handing it over to Rouse. “He’s made some little notes in it,” he said. “Nothing all that interesting yet as I can see, but it doesn’t feel right to keep it.”

Rouse packed it and Scogs didn’t mention that he had been next in line to read it. One of them could write home to get another copy, probably. Issac was sure he could — he had already received several yellowbacks which he’d left in the break room once everyone had read them so they could find a new home. Fitz’s sewing kit, playing cards and the various other things he’d been sent went on top and by the time they were done there was an all-too-noticeable hole where Fitz had once slept. 

It was only then that Issac noticed Rouse had gained corporal’s stripes. It made sense — Fitz needed replacing and Rouse was an obvious choice, being the smartest of the lot of them. He congratulated him, but Rouse wasn’t offended that he didn’t quite hit the right tone and his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Rouse’s didn’t, either.

When he arrived at the wards for his next shift, Captain Russell clapped him on the shoulder and gave him an extra ration of brandy. And then they just had to get on with it.

------

Fitz’s brother never replied to the letter he sent, so Issac kept saying kaddish for him past the thirty days that were traditional. He knew there were lots of reasons he might not have written — maybe it got lost, or he didn’t want to hear from Issac, or any number of perfectly innocent explanations, but as Issac watched men die day after day he couldn’t stop thinking about how if Fitz’s brother was dead, there was no one to remember Fitz as family. 

He said it for eleven months, as he would for a brother — four months longer than he’d known him. About six months in, Rouse wrote to him saying that he’d been stationed with Fitz’s brother at a CCS. He was a corporal, apparently, and Rouse said he reminded him of Fitz — that they said some of the same things, though in temperament they were pretty different. The war dragged on.

He kept a list of people in his units who died as he transferred from place to place, but it quickly became clear that he couldn't light a candle for each of them. The list just kept going, a litany of names followed by the date of their death in the Gregorian and Hebrew calendars. Jerry Scoggins, 30 September 1915/22 Tishrei 5676. Billy Dawson, 2 October 1915/25 Tishrei 5676. Fred Keighery, 4 February 1916/30 Shevat 5676... It felt like keeping track of their yahrzeits was more of a motivation to note the Hebrew date than keeping the holidays, since it wasn’t like he could, not really. Even as he tried to pray every day for whatever service he had free, the words of the festival services just made him homesick, and he didn’t have any of the things you should have: matzah or his mother’s blintzes or a lulav. 

He wrote to Moishe about studying the RAMC periodicals at Shavuot instead of Torah; it felt... oddly fitting. He knew, logically, that this war was man's fault and God didn't have anything to do with it, but that didn't provide any comfort when he was on death watch, sitting beside a man who gasped as he drowned on dry land. If the only control he had in this hell was giving two fingers to God, then he was going to take it. 

His father sent him a machzor so he could pray Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but he got to Unetaneh Tokef and didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed when someone found him crying ten minutes later. Reciting the ways people would die in the coming year — who by water, who by fire, who by sword and who by wild beast — felt absurd when he could list just as many from who was on the wards. Who by phosgene, who by sepsis, who by bullets? And for the machzor to claim that repentance, prayer and righteousness averted the severity of the decree — that sure hadn’t fucking worked for the soldiers getting killed. It hadn’t worked for Fitz or Scoggins or Keighery or— 

By the end of 1917 he could no longer go over the top, having lost his hearing in his left ear from a shell exploding too close. The letters he received detailing how his nephew he’d never met could talk in whole sentences now and how Mr Rabinowitz had fallen and broken his leg felt like missives from a world he would never return to again; how could he, when all he knew was the war?

The Armistice meant the supply of wounded slowed, but he didn’t go home — he was stationed at a general hospital, so there were still plenty of cases coming through. Even when they offered to send him home because he wasn’t regular army and they were well aware that the other corps had mostly got the wartime recruits out… he knew it was cowardly, but he accepted the offer to stay on until the RAMC left France. He couldn’t picture how he was going to fit back into the Leylands, and perhaps if he put it off long enough he’d finally work it out.

He did not.

When he finally got off the train at Leeds, it felt a little like a fairytale — he kept being shocked that he could recognise the buildings as the train came in, and it sounded the same as it had before the war. The back of his throat began to ache, though he wasn’t sure why, but before he could focus on that his mother was calling his name and hugging him. Had she been there the whole time? She gave him a kiss on the cheek and led him to everyone else — there was Shoshie, who grinned at him and then prompted the child hiding behind her legs to greet his Feter Itzik. While the nephew he’d never met hid his face in her skirt, his father embraced him with a decidedly gruff, “Son.”

And at last there was Moishe, his smile twisted by the scarring on his face. He looked like he understood the slight bewilderment that must have shown on his face. “Glad they let you go eventually,” he said, slapping him on the back. He spoke into his right ear, probably noticing that Issac had turned so he could hear the people in front of him more clearly with it. 

“Yeah,” Issac said, not trusting himself to say anything else lest he start crying. 

“See, he’s not scary, Dovid,” Shoshie said, having coaxed his nephew out in front of her. “Say hello.”

“Hello Feter,” he said at last. “Why don’t you have a face like Feter Moishe?”

“Dovid!” Shoshie said.

Moishe shot Issac a grin. For the first time in too long, Issac laughed.

[sitp-recs]

I normally only read in-world fics, but do you have any great Drarry AUs. Either non-magical or no Voldermort or historical, whatever (I'm not crazy about things that mess with the actual content of the books, but might love something super clever.) THANK YOU! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi anon! We’re actually very similar as in I don’t often venture into AUs so chances are you might enjoy these as well :) let me know!

Full AU:

Veðr by @shealwaysreads (M, 2.7k)

Norsemen have ranged far enough inland to find Harry, alone and abandoned by his kith and kin. But they bring far more than danger with them, they bring adventure, they bring magic.

Mad Blood Stirring by provocative_envy (E, 3.2k)

It's not like they've been angrily hooking up on the sly since meeting at a Juniors skills camp in fucking Manitoba four years ago, except that's exactly what they've been doing.

Big Hands by @fw00shy (E, 4.5k)

Draco Malfoy is a pianist who's just moved to Paris. Harry Potter, his new roommate, has the biggest hands he's ever seen. Draco is immediately obsessed.

Trouble by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (E, 7k)

Now Draco’s cock is stirring, and he can’t breathe because all he can think of is screaming Harry’s name while Harry pins him down and mindlessly fucks him into total incoherency.

The Virtues of Hygiene and the Binary of Labour by @piarelei (E, 14k)

Draco does what he always does every autumn; packs his bag and follows a path back home. This time, Potter just happens to travel the same roads.

Give Me a Quiet Mind by calrissian18 (T, 16k)

Draco is Weasley’s assistant. Except for the week he’s not. Whose brilliant idea was that again?

Black Coffee on a Lonely Night by Femme (M, 21k)

Draco owns a café in the city. Harry's a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato.

Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by @sleepstxtic-drarry (M, 42k)

A story of love and loss that grew amidst the most infamous rivalry in Formula One history: the story of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

In the Bleak Midwinter by @the-fools-errand (E, 105k)

After serving in the border wars for the ever-expanding dominion of Lord Voldemort, Draco and his cousins have returned to Hogsmeade to resurrect the old Black Family name in crime. But when a shipment of wands bound for the front lines falls into their possession, they find themselves at the centre of an investigation backed by the Dark Lord himself.

Nightcall by Femme and noeon (E, 116k)

A hideously mauled corpse is found sprawled across the paving stones of Brick Lane in the East End of London. Inspector Harry Potter--widely believed to be the lead candidate for next Deputy Head Auror--is called in to investigate a possible magical crime.

Within the HP Universe:

Intelligence by aideomai (T, 5.8k)

“I don’t believe it,” Ginny said, voice low with venom and fury. “Did you know?” “I knew there was a spy,” Hermione said.

And Save Me From Bloody Men by @blamebrampton (T, 10k)

Draco Malfoy once watched others fighting to stop the world falling apart. This time, he's not just watching.

Settle in in my slow-burning heart (orphaned, NR, 10k)

Five years after the war Draco is working a tech developer job in the Auror Office, and it's all great except this one thing: Harry Potter works there, too. Things only become stranger when Harry starts bringing Draco ugly souvenirs back from his work travels.

All the Ashes Like Leaves by firethesound (M, 21k)

Nothing about being the Chosen One had prepared Harry for this. With most of the population blinded and man-eating plants running amok, he can only stay close to his friends as they make their way to safety.

Gossip Boys by mypetelephant (E, 24k)

Confiscated Dark objects have been disappearing from the Ministry, and journalist Harry Potter is on the case. Unfortunately, he has to drag along Draco Malfoy, gossip columnist extraordinaire, whose subject of choice is everyone's favorite desultory hero.

Burn the Curtains and the Wine by @nerdherderette (E, 24k)

There are two versions of Harry Potter: the wizard who is the Ministry of Magic's most dangerous and successful assassin, and the husband who leads a staid life of domesticity with a reformed Death Eater. And never the twain shall meet.

The Good Guys by Frayach (E, 26k)

The Second Voldemort War is limping into its fourth year, and the Forces of Shining Light are slowly turning into the Forces of Expedient Grey. When Draco Malfoy is captured red-handed trying to sell an illegal potion to a clerk at Borgin & Burkes, he is handed over to the Department of Essential and Necessary Truth’s newest interrogator.

The Boy Who Died by @magpiefngrl (E, 27k)

Harry dies in the forest. Sixteen years later, he comes back to life.

Little Red Courgette by @blamebrampton (T, 31k)

When this season's purple courgettes are woefully thin, Draco Malfoy thinks it amounts to small beans. Next thing he knows, the Department of Standards is over-run with leeks, Brussels sprouts all sorts of legislative difficulties, and somebody appears to have put a roquette under Harry Potter.

The Secret Keeper by @the-fools-errand (M, 225k)

On Halloween 1981, Albus Dumbledore made a decision that would change the course of history, concealing Harry Potter’s survival at the hands of Lord Voldemort underneath a Fidelius Charm. But when Harry comes of age in the Muggle world, Dumbledore realises too late that the fate of the world may depend on a boy who has never held a wand.

[goiterinthegullet]

Tuco in "The Good the Bad and The Ugly" is honestly amazing

I've been watching TGTBTU (tuguttubutu) again recently and just thinking about how, unlike any other character in the movie, Tuco is the most human. I mean, Angel Eyes and Blondie are incredible, well-acted, compelling, aesthetically-grabbing, but you've got to admit they're rather alien, in a weird kind of way.

Angel Eyes is obviously evil to a classic standard, wanting nothing but to cause mayhem for extremely vague reasons related to general self-preservation and/or greed, and his reasons are much less important to the narrative as opposed to the threat he represents. Sure, he's got a bit of a past, but we never even learn his real name. He's an excellent villain, a perfect character in one of my favorite movies ever, but like Maleficent or Ursula or Scar, he's just that. A villain, and I love it, but it's definitely not "human", at least in an emotional sense.

And Blondie? Sure, its different obviously but his whole schtick is that he literally never tells us anything about him. We don't know his name, his heritage, his backstory, hardly anything. Anything we do know is just sorta vaguely picked up or known in a more personality way, like seeing how he responds to situations with complexity while never actually divulging anything more tangible.

But Tuco? Tuco? He's a creepy little criminal with a brother in the priesthood and two dead parents he hasn't seen for nine years. He used to have a wife somewhere, his eyes filled with tears upon hearing of his parents death. He's got more names than Blondie or Angel Eyes could ever hope to carry: Tuco Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez. He carries his name and his hastily-drawn sign of the cross everywhere he goes, gleefully cheats and steals and is genuinely a piece of sh/t, but also brags about how his brother is the "leader of the whole abbey!" after being thrown out by said brother who is also hurting. He's greedy and strange and a fantastic with a gun (prefers pistols to revolvers) and will sell anybody out for a nickel, and he's just so human.

Angel Eyes and Blondie don't try to not tell you anything about themselves. They're not interested in talking, albeit for different reasons, and would probably take it in stride if you did find anything out, but Tuco? Tuco is the only person who actually doesn't want you to know anything while simultaneously never being able to shut up. It's important to not use your own name in the brutal world they live in, a statement said by Tuco himself, and yet he's constantly speaking in a pseudo third-person, naming himself in a way that reveals how much he misses the life he left behind and even regrets the life he currently leads while also, and this is very important, totally vibing with his current life of debauchery and violence.

He's us. He's me. I think when watching movies, projecting onto characters is expected and even encouraged, but it's easy/enjoyable to see ourselves in those that are untouchable. Strange. Interesting. Vague enough to be Romantically projected upon I guess. But Tuco? He's got so much stuff to him it's spilling off the sides. He's pathetic, annoying, somehow worse than Angel Eyes, and that's how I am. That's how most people are. Sure, I've got a conscience, and I can say pretty proudly I'm leading a better life than Tuco over here, but like. Hurting, a little stupid, wanting to seem like Blondie or Angel Eyes (enigmatic, stoic), but coming off as overwhelmingly talkative and annoying instead, lashing out when accidentally becoming vulnerable, a walking contradiction, feeling my faults but never actually fixing them because, on some level, I haven't taken responsibility for my own actions? Tuco. We're Tuco.

[lowkeyremi]

Boys a liar pt 2

Anime characters I think would match w the lyrics (pls don’t come for me this is just my opinion 🧍🏾‍♀️)

CW: Mentions of breaking up, insecurity, fluff, a lil bit of angst, etc. (BEING A BAD BITCH)

Including: BNHA, Haikyuu, JJK, Demon Slayer, HxH, AOT, Food Wars, and Saiki K

“Because you only want to hold me when I'm looking good enough..”

They think you don’t find them attractive unless they’re all dressed up (BUT YOU LOVE THEM TO DEATH EITHER WAY)

↳ Kirishima, SERO, KENMA, Aran, Inunaki, GIYUU, MITSURI (yk, they used to tell her she has too much muscle to be a woman), Leorio, Knuckle Bine, MEGUMI (food wars), Ryo K, KAIDO, Armin, CONNIE

“Every time I pull my hair was only out of fear that you'll find me ugly and one day you'll disappear…”

Very insecure. They believe that you’ll leave them for the dumbest things. Constantly needs your reassurance. (Comfort your baby D:)

↳ AMAJIKI, Jiro, ASAHI A, Koganegawa, MEGUMI F, GENYA, Obanai, FEITAN, Levi, AKIRA H, Zenji M, Hairo (Saiki K), Toritsuka

“What's the point of crying? It was never even love..”

Finally over the relationship. It took them awhile to get over it but now they appreciate themselves and are happy w/o their ex :)

↳ MINA, Twice, NOYA, Yamaguchi, KUROO (shut up idc he has emotions), Nobara, TODO (I think he gets attached too quickly), Tanjiro, Rengoku, Killua, Pakunoda, Jean, IKUMI M, ALICE N, Nendo (mah baby), Rifuta Imu

“So I tell him it's one of me, he makin' fun of me.. (HA) his girl is a bum to me”

Wonders why they even dated their ex. Realized they could do WAY better (Better being you ;D) I’m telling you as soon as they see their ex’s new partner they literally can not stop pointing out how they can’t compare to them.

↳ MONOMA, Dabi, SAKUSA, TSUKKI, Mai Z, Nanami, SHINOBU, Kurapika, Bisky, Mikasa, Annie, Soma Y, TAKUMI ALDINI, Asahi S, Teruhashi, KUSUKE S

“Bet he blowin' her back, thinkin' 'bout me 'cause he know that ass fat (DAMN)”

They’re the kind of person who broke up w/ their ex and they know said ex wants them back. Anytime the ex calls they’ll show you and joke about it. They think it’s funny.

↳ MIRKO (no further explanation is needed), BAKUGO, Hinata (hear me out..), OIKAWA, ATSUMU, Geto, GOJO, TENGEN, Illumi (he’s a bitch so yes), Shizuku, Eren, SASHA (I don’t wanna hear nuthin abt this one), Erina N, Saiki, Akechi Toma (100% I mean his weird ass was trying to stalk Saiki)

“But I don't sleep enough without you and I can't eat enough without you. If you don't speak, does that mean we're through?”

They NEED you to survive. You’re their life and they get sad when you aren’t around. Get anxious thoughts when you guys don’t talk for awhile. They try to hide it but it’s obvious.

↳ Denki, AIZAWA (we have the same birthday so I would know :P) BOKUTO, Suga, Aone, SEMI, YUJI I, Mahito (he’s everything starved), Zenitsu, AKAZA (he dotes on ppl sorry not sorry… I mean he was down bad for his wife) INOSUKE (trust me on this one) Gon, Kogumi, IKALGO, KITE, Marco, Historia, YUKI Y, ISAMI ALDINI, Gin Dojima, K. AREN, Y. Chiyo

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/736621277713956864/httpswwwtumblrcomnot-goldy736605604709351424?source=share

"since we're sharing trauma" where? Who said that? I didn't..??? Also sorry that you grew up in such a horrible environment. But neither me nor jk grew up in such (based on how he talks about his family).

"if i was at jm's place i would have stayed away from such kid" hm i would have done the same and do wonder why jm didn't do the same but then i remember how exactly is his nature. I'll give you an example yrs ago jm went to everyone's solo MV shoot. No one went to jm's but did jm held it against anyone? Did he thought that they didn't come for me so i won't go for them as well? No. He does his things as what he think is he should be doing as a good supportive friend. Same thing this solo era even tho only yg and hsk went to meet him physically jm was the only member who went for each and every member to support them physically. Thing is he cared for jk say as his brother cause jk is same age as his own younger brother. Thought that he should take care of jk like that. It's not just jk that he took care of it's everyone he takes care of that's in his nature to be like everyone's hyung. You should see him with people who are younger than him and how much he gives them comfort and cares for them. Taehyung is same age as him but he still babies taehyung. Just because you are shit to him doesn't mean he's suddenly gonna start acting shit to you again that's in his nature. His astrology says that he's got traits where he tends to give alot to people even if he doesn't get same in return. It's his personality trait.

if jk was 13 then jm was 15 see how old jm is than jk right??

It doens't hurt y'all to accept that jk was brat when he was young, he did got some shitty habits like when he himself said he had a habit like "what's mine is mine and what's yours is also mine" that's a shitty habit to have but with time he understood it's not a good habit and changed it with all the boys being around him. He changed that habit because of those 6 boys around him.

no one ever questions if jk hates taehyung why? Does anyone ever questioned if jk hates hobi? Jk hate jin?? did anyone ever questioned if jk hates any other members? Then why jm??? Cause that's exactly how it looked on the cam (not hate but as if he doens't like being around jm in early yrs). You tell me why the three members said No when they asked if jk likes jm.

I get that the fandom is full of tkkrs and things like these are widely spread by them but then there's actually some content where jk has been mean to jm which anyone can use against them. For example vminkook were doing live and jm said this is my bare face in cam and jk's immediate respose was "ugly right?" Wow such a cool thing to say to someone who's insecure about his looks right goldy??? Have any explanation for these kinda moments??? As i said he himself has given some material where people thought he doesn't like jm and that's when the question was raised and that's why jm also chose the question to ask him whete three members said No. Do you have any explanation why 3 members said No??? I'm all ears please do tell me.

I don't know why you are conflating Adult Jimin with young Jimin- no, young Jimin would not have gone to support people who don't support him, matter fact adult Jimin wouldn't either if he felt bad vibes from the person.

He's not a pushover. He has standards and self respect. I refuse to believe a man who stood up to his best friend and told the one man he claims he loves he was cutting him off would support people who don't support him.

Same person who said he loves those who love them and scream fuck haters on his song??????????

We have very different views of who he is as a person.

He can be very kumbaya but only to a point. To a limit. Push against that limit and you will find out.

Lmao, no one is saying Jungkook wasn't moody angsty bratty as a teen, its something BTS themselves point out over and over and namjoon explained he went through a teenage rebellious phase as well and they all had to learn to deal with that.

The hyungs and Tae have approached this phase with much maturity, empathy and compassion, explaining how Jungkook would cry a lot cos he missed home etc.

We just saying we not gonna hang him demonize him villianiize him for being a normal teenager and for dealing with normal development challenges that comes with being a teen.

All I'm hearing from you is attempts to justify why you hate a teen for his actions towards other teens. You sound like you would make for an abusive parent, a bad teacher and baby sitter- stay away from children. You can't handle them. And pray to God if ever you have children none of them struggle with complex difficult emotions cos you sound like you'd be the kind of parent who would further traumatize them if they do.

You are giving one child is a model child preferred child favorite child because he plays by the book but oh the other is such a bane in your existence.

Do you.

[gffa]

Saw you're posting the spoilers form this week's Batman so i'm guessing you've read it. My heart just broke reading it, i do wonder how the family is going to get out of this. Like this issue alone Bruce telling Jason he should kill him like my heart

I'm still really on the fence about what Gotham War is setting up, because I'm still so annoyed by how bad the arguments of the characters are, I'm annoyed by how it feels like cheap drama to break the Batfamily up again because they don't know how to do drama any other way, but also I can't lie, I don't find Bruce to be that out of character, because he's in a really bad place and the narrative isn't portraying him as morally correct. Everything with Jason really hurt, but Bruce can be cruel when his mental health is in the toilet (and this storyline is leaning hard on Bruce's mental illness being really, really bad right now) and I don't take it that he was serious at all, he had no intention of actually killing Jason, he was following up on Jason's argument--if it's okay that Selina's way got someone killed, if that death being an acceptable sacrifice was fine, then why wouldn't Jason's death be acceptable, to stop him from killing more people? And the thing is, Bruce doesn't believe that Roland Gardner's death was an acceptable loss, just as he doesn't believe that Jason's death would be acceptable, either. But Jason was deliberately goading him, Jason was being cruel when attacking him, and Bruce snapped at him, but I don't think for a second it was meant to be serious. It was an ugly fight between a father and a son who find themselves on the opposite sides of an argument that is dragging up a LOT of issues for them. For Bruce, I've made my case on this with the first Gotham War issue and I think it still holds true, that a lot of his biased reactions are coming from a place of feeling betrayed by his kids, the ones he took in because they were victims like him, ones who stood up and said, "I will never let this happen to anyone else." so hard that he couldn't stop them, could only have ever put a leash on them, and now suddenly they're saying, "I guess this can happen to some people." and that's a betrayal of the very foundation of why they do what they do, in his eyes. And that tracks for me with what he thinks when he's fighting the kids together:

I think this storyline has been an interesting look at Bruce, where they're touching on his class issues, but also the heart of the reason he does anything and the biases that he brings to the table and that his mental illnesses are having an absolute party in his brain right now, like he's literally hallucinating and he slumps down against the wall and thinks about how shaky his control feels, how he feels isolated from his family, like this isn't Bruce being perfectly right and correct, this is him in the middle of a bad spiral and I think that's a potentially interesting storyline. Because he's full of so much doubt--it's TWO ISSUES into this series and in BOTH OF THEM, Bruce has had a major moment of falling apart and wondering what the hell he's doing, and while the storyline is billed as "Who's the one in the right?" here, I don't think that's what it's actually shaping up to be. This is a story about a traumatized character reacting very badly to having his mental health tanking and feeling like he's losing everything, only playing out on the stage that is Gotham. (I'm less enthused about the other characters' reasons, like I'm not sure I believe Tim or Dick or Barbara or Cass would go along with Selina's way, even if crime is down, those kids are stubborn and they didn't just agree with Bruce because they were scared of him, Bruce couldn't tell those kids shit about what to do, they had their own opinions, and while I buy that they'd think he's going too far, and I agree they would try to stop him here, because they're trying to talk him down, not make an enemy of him. So, I can see everything pretty okay in this issue, I'm just not sure enough thought will be given to ALL the characters that have a part to play in this story, beyond just Bruce.)

[writergirl3]

A Message For Insecure 4 Townies, From 4 Town...

Okay, so, I wanted to try something different here. I was inspired by none other than the amazing @4townlove and their letter-style head canons. I want to give them full credit for the inspiration of this, and please go and read their work (although I'm sure you already have).

Also, you can change the dialogue at the beginning, if you want. I just wanted to keep it general so that the messages made more sense.

Also, I gave up on adding an image for each member because I've basically run out, lol.

So, this one's for any 4 Townies who are feeling insecure. I've been there a lot, and if you have too, I hope you like this ⭐️🧡

---

(B/M/N): Band Member's Name

B/M/N: "Y/N…what’s wrong?"

You: "Nothing…I just feel ugly and annoying and…not good enough."

Robaire;

“Mon amour, will you hear me out for a second?

It’s normal to feel insecure. There’s something strange about the human brain; it doesn’t seem to register all the wonderful things that others see in us. Sometimes I feel unsure of myself, and you always remind me of positive things, right?

Well, ma belle rose, now it’s my turn. I could list hundreds of reasons why you certainly aren’t ‘ugly’, ‘annoying’ or ‘not good enough’. But, instead, I want to tell you what I see.

Every day spent with you leaves me wanting for nothing, because when I’m with you, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. Your smile can brighten even the cloudiest of skies. When you reach for my hand, I feel like it was crafted to fit in mine. You don’t even need to do anything to make my life better, that’s how special you are.

I know it might take some time for you to come round and believe me. And if you’re still having a hard time seeing yourself as I do, I’ll reassure you until you do, ma cherie.”

Jesse;

“Y/N, I know it’s hard, but you mustn’t say those things about yourself, okay? Not just because they’re far from true, but because it’s not good for you. For your soul, your confidence, your heart. You’re so kind to everyone around you, and it’s important to spare a little bit of that for yourself.

Y’know, it’s easy to believe that no one else feels insecure or doubtful of themselves, but that, also, isn’t true. When I joined 4 Town, I worried and worried about being older than the other guys. I didn’t want to feel like a spare part, like I was making up the numbers. 

But you know what? They helped me see how being different made us stronger as a group. Sure, they poke fun a little at me sometimes, but it’s all good. I know they don’t mean it, because they helped me see how my differences can shine in their own light.

I hope you see what I’m saying here. None of the things you’ve said about yourself are true. Any little insecurities that you have actually make you all the more special. And I love you for them.”

Aaron T;

“WHAT?!?!

Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry for shouting, baby, I’m not mad at you. Not one bit! I just…I just don’t understand?

What do I mean, you ask? Well, just that. I don’t see how someone so perfect could see themselves as the opposite. Hell, you’re too perfect sometimes- that’s the only thing I could accuse you of.

What is it that you don’t like? That laugh that I could listen to on loop? Your heaven-sent smile? And your eyes? Man, I always find myself looking at them.

And all this about being annoying and not good enough? Just look around you. You have so many people in your life who love and respect you, and you know I’m one of ‘em. 

And so what if some people in life think you’re not ‘good enough’? What is good enough? You’re so much more than that to me. You’re perfect, and that will never change.”

Aaron Z;

“Sweetheart…I…just, please listen to me for a sec, okay?

I don’t know what or who made you question yourself, your worth. If it’s me, I’ll never forgive myself for that, because you make my world better just by being in it. In fact, you are my world.

Was it someone else? One of the boys? No? Okay, I see. You’ve got into your own head a little. That’s okay, it happens to me too sometimes. But let me say just one thing.

You know I’m not great with…words, and stuff, so I’ll keep this simple. I love you. In fact, I’m in love with you. All those little things that you see as ‘bad’ are anything but. They’re what made me fall for you in the first place, and I’ve still yet to land.

You know what? I’m gonna write you a list of everything I love about you, okay? Kinda like a letter. But until I’ve finished it, just know that I never want you to change. Maybe I’ve not done a good enough job at showing you that, but I mean it. I love you so much.”

Tae Young;

“Dove, what are you saying? Those are such horrible words and could never reflect how I see you.

What do I see? Well, I see a wonderful person. A kind soul who is unique in their own right. You know what words I would use instead of the ones you chose? Passionate. Caring. Loyal. Gorgeous. Sweet.

There are so many others, but just being with you now is making me go sorta blank. Not because I can’t think of anything! It’s just, seeing your eyes all teary and those little red flushes on your cheeks; it makes me flustered and heartbroken at the same time.

Next time you feel like this, come straight to me, okay? I’ll hold you until you feel right, and find a way to help you see yourself with love. All those bad words you think about yourself? You can bet that I have a replacement for each and every one, love.”

---

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist