#that could happen w anyone I sleep with? and why should I feel entitled to a relationship with that person? I shouldn’t.

[linksnonbinaryass]

just read My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness. bawled my eyes out. never felt so seen. considering hiring myself an escort.

[angelasscribbles]

Bad Romance Chapter 25: Damage

Series: Bad Romance

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: Multiple

Paring this chapter: There is nothing romantic going on in this chapter. I suppose it could be tagged as Liam x Riley as that is the only actual relationship that is present at the point and time Applewood happens.

Special shout out to at @21-wishes , without who this chapter would look completely different. Thank you so much for taking time to brainstorm and troubleshoot with me.

Word Count: 4,017

A/N: This was a very difficult chapter to write. When I originally wrote that Drake had killed Tariq, it was to up the ridiculous drama I was creating. But then the series turned more serious and there had to be a reason for Drake to lose it so completely. And there is. And I am so sorry to give the Walker family such a tragic back story, as if they don't have enough. If anyone would rather skip this chapter, but wants the broad details, feel free to ask me in a DM.

Rating: MA

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Sexual assault (two of them), violence, character death (two of them).

My other stuff: Master List.

Three months ago, Applewood……

Riley was gathering her pajamas to head to the shower when her door creaked open. Her brow furrowed in confusion; she was sure she’d locked it. She turned around expecting Liam but that’s not who was standing there.

“What are you doing here? I thought you left with Constantine on urgent bus-Tariq? What the hell are you doing in my room you fucking creep?”

“I know you’ve been sleeping with Maxwell Beaumont.” He sneered at her.

“I’m not. I mean, I was. But I’m not now.” Why was that any of his business and what was he doing in her room?

He looked confused, “You admit it? Just like that?”

“Why wouldn’t I admit it? I’m not ashamed of it.”

“Well, you should be!” He snarled.

“Why?”

“Why? Because in addition to being common and an American to boot, you’re a tramp and this proves it!” He thrust a stack of photographs at her. “And now, since you’re apparently open for business, I’ll take my turn.”

Riley took the photos, barely glancing at them before tossing them onto a side table. “I’m not ‘open for business’, my clientele is exclusive. As in exclusive to who I chose and who I want. I don’t just give it up because some entitled little prick wants it. Go fuck yourself.”

“Oh, you will give me what I came here for or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else, I’ll go to the king with these photographs. What will he think of you then? You’ll lose everything!”

She looked at him for a moment then threw her head back and laughed.

Shock flashed across his face, “Why are you laughing? This isn’t a joke. I mean it! I’ll tell him!”

“Go ahead. You won’t be telling him anything he doesn’t already know. Seriously, this is what passes as blackmail around here? Pathetic.”

“W..what?”

“I said,” she stepped toward him, “You’re pathetic. Weak, pitiful and a coward. How did you get these pictures? Did you plant a camera in my room? You didn’t even take them yourself, did you? Coward.”

He became enraged, “I am not a coward!“

She laughed again, “I can’t believe you thought Liam was so trifling that he would be put off if his future bride isn’t some pristine virgin. Liam knows I have a sexual past, just like he does.”

“But-“

“And you thought I would sleep with you to hide it?” She laughed again at the absurdity of it.

“Why you little bitch!” He moved quickly, pouncing on her and twisting her arm behind her back.

“Ow! Let go of me you mother fucker!” She tried to kick backwards at him but couldn’t get leverage as he pressed her forward and shoved her down onto the bed.

The first real tendrils of fear crept through her as she struggled vainly to get out from under him, but he was stronger and heavier, and he used his body weight to pin her to the mattress under him. She cursed herself for wearing a dress instead of pants, the skirt was already hiked up around her waist from the struggle, doing half the job for him. He kept one hand gripped on her arm as he lifted his body enough to rip her underwear from her body.

She sucked in a deep breath and screamed as loud as she could. His hand shot around to cover her mouth but now her arm was free, she bit down on his hand and used her arms to push up.

“Ow! You fucking bitch!” He yelled as she almost bucked him off. Instead, he punched her in the back hard enough to knock the breath out of her.

She struggled to scream again, desperate to attract someone’s attention, but she couldn’t breathe at all. She gasped for air and the world swam black in front of her eyes. She felt panic rising in her throat but was paralyzed from lack of oxygen. Tears slipped silently down her face as she fought to suck in a breath.

Then suddenly he was gone. The weight was off, and she could breathe again. She sucked in a long, shuddering breath, unable to hear anything through the ringing in her ears. She lay on the bed gasping in air as the world slowly came back into focus and she became aware of sounds again.

Tariq was on the floor, face bloody and Drake was on top of him, pummeling him.

“Drake?” She squeaked out in confusion. Where had he come from?

“Riley! Riley! Are you ok?” He jumped off of Tariq and ran to her side. He reached out for her, but she instinctively scooted back out of his reach. His voice was more gentle than she’d ever heard it as he said, “Riley, it’s me, I would never hurt you.”

Drake took in the scene in front of him, the ripped panties, Riley’s tear and mascara stained face, her clothes all askew and her body language as she pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around them and curled herself into a defensive position.

“She’ll never be queen. Madeleine will be queen.” Came Tariq’s voice as he pulled himself up off the ground. “What are you even doing here, Drake? Did you come to take your turn too? Or have you been doing that all along? I see how you-“

With a primal cry, Drake launched himself at Tariq again and they both went down. Somehow Tariq produced a knife, but Drake knocked it away easily.

“Get off of me you plebian! I’m a fucking duke! You have no right-“

A solid right hook to the jaw shut him up as blood spurted out of his mouth. The sound of Riley’s crying drew his attention again. He delivered several more blows before standing up and kicking Tariq in the side, “Stay the fuck down this time! You’re under arrest!” He told him before turning back to Riley.

If Tariq had stayed down and kept his mouth shut, or if he’d picked himself up and left then, he would have escaped with his life. But he’d never been known for being smart. He pulled himself up off the floor again and wiped the blood from his face as he hissed, “That little slut got what she deserved, just like your whore sister.”

That was the last coherent memory Drake had before six guardsmen were pulling him off Tariq’s lifeless body.

Drake turned as the blade that Tariq had recovered flashed toward him. His arm went up to deflect it, he saw the red gash appear along his forearm, but he felt nothing as white hot fury overrode conscious thought.

The sound of Riley crying was still ringing in his ears when he body slammed the other man to the ground, but as the red haze descended on him, it was his mother’s crying he heard, her screams when they’d pulled his sister’s body from the water.

Drake had no way of knowing how far the assault had gone. Riley’s clothes were in tatters, her makeup ruined, her body language screaming that she had been hurt, that she was frightened.

The image of Tariq with his hands all over Riley was superimposed on his brain with the image of another member of the nobility, another self-entitled rich guy with no compassion for those he brutalized.

Sierra! The memory of his beautiful sister with the bright smile and ready laugh flashed through his mind and his heart like a dagger.

The mother fucker had claimed the sex was rough, but consensual. That her death was accidental, and he’d only dumped her body like so much garbage because he’d panicked. He’d had the unmitigated gall to cry on the stand as he lied through his teeth. And he’d gotten away with it.

Sierra was dead, his mother and Savannah were broken, he hadn’t been there, he’d been away at boot camp. The shame and guilt crashed over him, the helplessness. He’d been too late to help Sierra, he’d failed her, and she was gone. But Riley was still here, and he could help her. It wasn’t going to happen again; he wasn’t going to get away with it this time.

He was shaking and crying when they pulled him off Tariq. He came up swinging at everyone.

“DRAKE!” It was her voice that finally penetrated the fog.

He stopped struggling, blinking as the fury and pain laden haze receded. “Riley?”

“Yes, it’s me, it’s Riley! Drake, you have to calm down now!” Her hands were on his face despite one of the guards telling her to back up. She ignored him and he could do nothing about it, because he was afraid to loosen his grip on Drake.

“Riley, you’re hurt!” He started struggling again, trying to get to her at the sight of blood spatter on her clothes.

“No, I’m not! I’m ok! It’s not my blood Drake, it’s yours!” She started crying again.

“What?” He stopped struggling again and looked around at who was holding him, then his eyes went to his blood smeared arm, and finally to the man at his feet. Shock coursed through him, followed by satisfaction chased by horror. All of the fight went out of him.

“You can let go of him; he’s not fighting anymore!” Riley railed at the guards.

Surprisingly, they did. Drake was well liked among his men, and many of them knew about his sister. Riley’s appearance and hysteria painted a pretty clear picture of what had transpired. One of them had taken a robe hanging from a hook on the wall and draped it around her.

The moment they released him; she was in his arms. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed. His arms went around her hesitantly and one hand stroked her hair gently. “Are you ok? Did he- Did he- Are you hurt?”

She shook her head, “You stopped him, Drake, you got here in time….barely….” She started crying again. Adrenaline was still coursing through her veins, but she no longer needed to fight or run, so her body started shaking instead.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. He’ll never hurt you again. He’ll never hurt anyone again. Here, sit.” He guided her to the edge of the bed and sat down next to her, “You need a doctor. Have they sent for the doctor?”

“I….don’t know.” She didn’t need a doctor, but he did. She grabbed his arm and assessed the wound. It wasn’t gushing blood, but it also hadn’t stopped bleeding. She ripped a pillowcase off a pillow and wrapped it around the cut. He let her but he’d stopped talking. He was staring blankly into space.

“Drake? Are you ok?” She asked with concern, because he looked like holy hell. His face was ashen, he was covered in blood, she couldn’t tell what was his and what was Tariq’s. He didn’t respond to her question; he didn’t act as if he’d even heard her. She slipped her hand into his, he neither pulled away nor held hers back, he just allowed her to hold his.

Riley looked up and around her room. The original six guards that had responded to the sounds of the altercation had increased; her room was full of people. She spotted one of the younger guards, she recognized him vaguely as the one that had draped the robe around her, carefully averting his eyes as he’d done so. She’d seen him around the palace before.

“Marco, right?”

His head turned toward her, “Yes, my lady?”

“Do you know if they’ve sent for the doctor? I think he’s in shock and I don’t know how much blood he’s lost.”

He nodded, “Yes, my lady, she should be here soon.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a weak smile.

He moved a little closer so that none of the other guards could hear and dropped his voice low, “He got what he deserved,” He jerked his head toward the body of the floor, “And they’ll never make me testify against Drake. I mean Captain Walker.”

Drake looked up, blinking, “Marco? What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here…”

“From the looks of it, it’s a damn good thing you were.” Marco replied.

“Sargent!” Called a Lieutenant from across the room.

Marco hurried to respond, muttering under his breath about history repeating itself as he went.

“Shit, Riley, I….I killed him.”

“Drake, it was self-defense! He had a knife, he cut you!”

“But no one’s going to see it that away. This is going to be investigated as a murder.”

“What? No!”

“Yes, it will.”

“If that’s the case then why aren’t they arresting you?”

“Because I out rank everyone in this room. But they’ll send for someone else, if they haven’t already.”

It was true. Technically they still could have arrested him, but none of them were willing to. Instead, they’d sent for a senior officer to join the scene.

“Fuck that, I’m calling Liam!”

It went straight to voicemail, “Shit! He left the jamboree with Constantine; they had some kind of business out of town.”

“Liam always turns his phone off during those meetings. Constantine insists on it.” Drake told her.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Drake turned in annoyance as a guardsman approached him. “What?”

“May I have a word, please? In private?”

“Right now?”

“Yes, Captain. It could be pertinent to the…ah, situation at hand.”

Drake hugged Riley tightly, “I’ll be right back.” He pulled the Lieutenant to the side and asked, “What is it?”

“Sir, I found these photos, ah….of….”

Drake took the stack of photos and glanced down. His jaw tightened, “Has anyone else seen these?”

“No, sir. I brought them straight to you due to the, uh, sensitive nature of the content.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant, you did the right thing. You never saw these, they don’t exist.” Drake said as he glanced around the room.

“Yes, sir!” He saluted sharply and went back to collecting evidence.

Drake found Marco again, whispered something to the other man then discreetly passed him the photos. Marco nodded, shoved them under his uniform jacket and disappeared out the door.

The doctor finally arrived and was pointed to Riley, who brushed her hands away, “I’m fine, Drake needs you!”

Dr. Russo moved over to Drake who also tried to fight her, “I’m fine, you need to check on Riley.”

Dr. Russo sighed, “I need to check on both of you! And from the looks of it, Drake, you’re in worse shape.”

“Drake.” Riley stood, walked over to him and took his hand again, “Please. Let her look at your arm, it’s still bleeding.”

He turned his head toward her, “But you’re the one that was attacked, you need-“

She started to protest but when she saw Drake’s face, she relented, “Yes, ok, I promise I’ll let her look at me. But not until after she’s done with you!” She told Drake pointedly.

He stared down into her defiance filled eyes for a moment. “Fine.” He extended his arm to Dr. Russo.

“You’re going to need stitches, but you’re lucky this missed the brachial artery. A half inch to the side and you’d be dead.”

“Jesus!” Riley breathed.

“It’s fine,” Drake shook his head, “I’m fine. I couldn’t let him hurt you, I couldn’t, Riley, I’m sorry, I should have gotten here sooner!“ His voice was filled with anguish.

Riley looked at him with her mouth open, “Are you kidding me? Drake, you’re the only reason I wasn’t raped tonight! You saved me from that monster! You have nothing to apologize for!”

“Ok, I’m going to numb your arm now so I can put in the stitches.”

“Right here?” Riley asked.

“Right here.” Dr. Russo smiled at her comfortingly, “It’s a simple procedure.”

Drake didn’t even flinch as the stitches went in. “Now if you’re done fussing with me, could you please check her out?”

“Certainly but…”

“What?” Drake’s brow furrowed then sudden understanding hit him, “Lt. Broussard! Everyone is going to have to clear the room!”

“But, sir, we’re still-“

“I need to examine Lady Riley…privately!” Dr. Russo snapped authoritatively.

“Yes ma’am!” The lieutenant turned back to the rest of the men and everyone filed out of the room.

Drake was the last to leave, “I’ll be right outside-“

“No!”

“What?”

“Stay, please.”

“Uh…” He looked at the doctor who nodded, “She’s been through a trauma, if having you here makes her feel better, then stay.”

“Ok.” He nodded as he stepped back inside the room and shut the door.

“Are you sure, Riley?” The doctor asked softly.

“I’m sure.”

“Where are you hurt?”

“My arm…” She extended it, “It hurts here and here.” She touched her wrist and shoulder.

Dr. Russo turned her hand over and moved her wrist back and forth, “There’s some ugly bruising, but nothing is broken.”

Moving up, she did the same to her shoulder. Riley winced as the doctor rotated it. “Sorry. You have a sprained shoulder. Where else?”

“He…he hit me pretty hard in the back.” She bit down on her lip in an attempt to suppress the tears threatening to rise again as she turned her back and dropped the robe. She peeled off her shirt revealing a bruise the size of a grapefruit blooming in the middle of her upper back, and angry, purple blotches dotted her hips where she’d been held down.

She heard Drake’s sharp intake of breath. “I’m glad I fucking killed him.”

“Drake!” Dr. Russo said reprovingly, her eyes moving to the door, “Watch what you say and who you say it in front of. You don’t need to compound this tragedy by getting yourself charged with murder.”

A low growl issued from the back of his throat, but he pressed his lips together and shut up.

Turning back to Riley, the older woman asked her gently, “Is there anything else I need to look at? Did he-“

“No!” Riley shook her head, “He didn’t get that far, thanks to Drake. Can I…can I go take a shower now?” Fat, hot tears started to fall down her face.

“Of course, dear.”

“You’ll be here when I get out?” She asked Drake.

“If you want me to be.” He answered.

She nodded then quickly rose up on her toes to give him a hug. She hugged the doctor next, then grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind her.

“Let’s wait to call them back in.” Dr. Russo said, “She shouldn’t come out of the shower to find a room full of strange men.”

“Agreed. Besides, it’s only a matter of time before they have to haul me in for questioning and I just promised her I’d be here when she got out.” He blew out a breath as he raked his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I should try calling Liam again.”

It went straight to voicemail. Fuck. “Li, call me as soon as you get this. It’s important, it’s about Riley.”

“Actually,” Drake reconsidered, “Maybe we should let them back in. It would be nice if the body was gone before she comes back out.” At least someone had finally draped it.

By the time Riley got out of the shower, Tariq’s body was indeed gone. The investigation had wound down and most of the men had left.

“Are you ok?” Drake was at her side immediately, “You were in there awhile.”

“Yeah, I just…couldn’t stop scrubbing.”

His eyes dropped to her arms, red and raw. “Riley….” He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go, but he didn’t want to startle her with unexpected touch.

“I’m sorry son, but we have to take you in for questioning.”

Riley glared at the Major that had approached Drake. “He already told you what happened! I told you what happened! What else do you need?”

“Riley, it’s ok.” Drake told her, “It’s standard procedure, I’ve been expecting it.”

The Major motioned and a young Lieutenant stepped up as Drake turned and placed his hands behind his back. The younger man produced a pair of handcuffs. As he snapped them onto his wrists, Riley exploded, “You’ve got to be kidding me! Why is that necessary? He was going with you willingly!”

“Ma’am, please calm down, it’s standard procedure, the cuffs will be removed in the interrogation room.”

Dr. Russo touched her shoulder, “Riley, I can give you a sedative to help-“

She shrugged her off, “No. I’m going with Drake!”

“Riley, that’s not necessary, I could be there for hours.” Drake protested.

“I don’t care!” She insisted as she followed them down the hall.

The last thing he told her before he disappeared into the interrogation room was, “Go get some sleep. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

Four hours later, when he was finally released, she was slumped in a chair in the waiting room, asleep. He shook her gently until she stirred a little. “Riley, Riley…”

“Ummffpphh.” She rolled over in the chair.

“Riley, come on, you can’t sleep here all night.”

“Drake? Drake!” She sat up and threw her arms around him, “I was so worried about you!”

“Why?” He asked in confusion, “I told you I’d be fine. You should have gone to bed, gotten some sleep.”

“Where?” She demanded.

“What?” He blinked.

“Where?” She repeated, “I’m not going back to that room.”

“I……right. Of course not.”

“Can I stay with you tonight? I mean, not like that…. just until Liam gets back?“

“Yes, of course! That’s actually a good idea. I can make sure you stay safe that way.” He’d sleep better knowing she was okay.

Once they were in his room, with the door shut and locked, he offered her the bed, “I can sleep on the floor.”

“I’m not making you sleep on the floor, Drake. It’s a big bed, it’s only weird if you make it weird. Besides, I’ve already seen you naked.” She gave him the first smile he’d seen on her face since the whole nightmare had happened.

He laughed. After the horror filled night they’d had, she made him laugh. Who else could have done that? “Ok, but I need a shower first.” Even though he was dead on his feet, he couldn’t climb into bed until he’d peeled the blood caked clothes off his body and washed it from his skin.

He stood in the shower, the water pounding down on him, watching the soap, tinged with red, swirl down the drain and he understood Riley’s need to scrub. He felt it too, as if somehow stripping a layer of skin from his body would erase the violence of the night, erase the stain from his soul.

He’d killed a man and not from a distance. He’d beaten him to death with his bare hands and he felt like he should feel horrified about that, but he didn’t. He’d stopped him. This time he’d been there, he hadn’t been too late, he hadn’t failed her and that’s all that mattered.

He turned the water off and dried himself then slipped into the sweatpants and t-shirt he’d taken into the bathroom with him. He turned the light off before clicking open the door quietly and walking softly across the room to the bed.

He crept onto the bed and slid under the covers, trying not to wake her. She immediately scooted back so that her body was pressed into his. “Would it be weird if I asked you to hold me?”

“After the night we’ve had? No.” He knew she didn’t mean it in a sexual way, but because she needed to feel safe. If he were being honest, he could use the comfort himself. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her tight against him and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. It was soothing somehow, calming. “Goodnight, Riley.”

“Goodnight, Drake.”

He lay awake until he heard her breathing even out, felt her body relax in his arms, then he let himself slip into the sweet abyss of slumber.

[twokinkybeans]

Touch Me, Please [Starker Fic] Pt.2

Summary: Tony Stark has never told anyone that he's still a virgin. He doesn't want to sleep with people who only want him because of his outward persona. So instead, he hires an escort. Things get a little more heated than either of them had expected. Tags/Warnings: Escort!Peter, Virgin!Tony, nff, nsfw, sexual tension, teasing, Peter is 22, Tony is 53, oral sex, 69. Taglist: @starkerswonderland @staticwhispersinthedark @starkerprince @parkers-stark​ (let me know if you want to be added!) -Kim

Read the fic here on AO3

Or click here to read Chapter 1 on Tumblr

-

TOUCH ME PLEASE, PT.2

Tony’s brain fails to function when Peter’s cherry-red lips press themselves onto his own. It’s a gentle clash. Peter’s lips are much softer than the ones Tony had kissed all those years ago. “Peter,” he whimpers desperately into the boy’s parted lips. The escort responds by simply deepening the kiss. The soft, velvet tongue sweeps past his teeth, and he kisses him hungrily. The staged passion has Tony fooled more than he thought possible. He’s aware that this is Peter’s job- making other men aroused and then pleasing them. Yet, Tony hadn’t thought it’d feel so real.  “Tony-” Peter breathes and pulls back slightly. Tony swears he can see a hint of longing on the boy’s face. He’s acting, don’t forget that. “Tony, tell me what you want.” “W-what?”

“I want you to tell me what you want me to do. It’s your first time. Gotta make it special, huh?” Somehow, the teasing tone in Peter’s voice when he speaks those words makes it so easy for Tony to push down his rising shame. It’s not some weird clinical discussion. Not at all. The question for consent low-key blows him away. He’s not used to it. His high school boyfriend at the time had never asked, and the people that tried flirting with him now weren’t much better. His ‘no’s are usually waved off as cocky, entitled behavior. 

“I…” Tony starts, frowning when he notices how he has no fucking clue. Oh, God. Here he is. He hired an escort, and he doesn’t even know what he wants. “I don’t know,” he whispers. Peter leans back a little, leaving some space between them, and sends him a gentle smile.

“That’s alright. We’ll take it step-by-step, ‘kay?” “Please.” “Cool. Anything you don’t want to do tonight?” Peter tilts his head in a curious motion. His curls bounce along with the movement, and once again, Tony is struck by his beauty.

“Nothing kinky,” Tony rushes out. “I just… I just want it to feel good. I want to make you feel good.” Tony’s head snaps up as he realizes what he just said. Something clicks in his mind. It… Yes. That’s it. “I want to make you feel good,” he repeats, his voice more assertive this time. Peter lets out a surprised chuckle. The boy searches Tony’s face for a second. Does he think Tony’s joking? “For real?” Peter asks. “You could ask me to do anything to you, but you want to make me feel good?” “Yes.” Tony straightens his shoulders. “I know pleasure. I- I wanna know how to make someone else feel that way. I-” Suddenly, he’s overcome with a wave of uncertainty again. “If that’s… Okay for you as well. Of course. God- I’m sorry. This is so not sexy,” he rambles. Peter tuts and leans in again, pressing his forehead against Tony’s.

“Doesn’t have to be,” he whispers. “If we want the rest of our night to be amazing, we gotta talk about this. Have to admit, most clients are very clear about their wants.” Peter snorts. “They usually prefer if I don’t talk at all.” “Oh?” “Mmmh. They prefer me to keep my mouth occupied elsewhere. But you?” Peter’s voice seems to trail off for a second when their gazes lock. Peter’s dark, chocolate puppy eyes contain a seriousness Tony can’t quite place. Peter’s voice is soft when he continues. “You’re different.”

Tony can’t shake the feeling that those words mean something. Different. He’s different. The insecurity almost makes him ask if that’s a good or a bad thing, but the intensity in Peter’s eyes already reveals the answer. “Peter…” he breathes softly. “I don’t know how to be a good client. But I promise you; I’ll be the most eager student you’ve ever taught how to have sex.” The half-sincere joke makes Peter laugh, and the sound sends a pleasant tingling sensation across Tony’s chest. “Sex ed 101 with Peter,” the escort jokes back. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” “Best-selling class, I’m telling ya.” “Well, lucky for you, you’re my first student.” Peter’s voice drops, making everything flare up again. Tony’s heartbeat picks up, and his cock throbs in the tight fit of his jeans. He speaks hoarsely. “Where do we start?”

Instantly, Peter’s lips are back on his own. It shouldn’t take Tony by surprise anymore, but it does. It’s earth-shattering how good it feels. Peter’s every move is urgent and hot and it makes Tony think that although it may be an act… Maybe, some of it could be real? “Can I unbutton your shirt?” Peter moans, and Tony curses at the sensations it sends straight into his hard cock. He ruts upwards and nods. “Y-yeah. If you take your shirt off too?” Peter sends him a cocky grin and nods. “Deal.”  Their teeth clash clumsily when Peter can no longer steady himself against Tony’s chest. His slender fingers easily unbutton the tight, expensive white dress shirt. Tony grunts as he feels the coldness of Peter’s fingertips brushing over his hot skin. He doesn’t even mind that it’s cold. All he can think about is how a gorgeous being is touching him - touching him. He swallows. “Feels good,” he mutters and drops his head back against the backrest of his couch when Peter’s fingers trail lower. And lower. And lower. His eyes widen, and he stares enchanted how Peter teasingly traces past the band of his boxers. Then, he snaps his gaze back up. “Your shirt?” “R-Right.” Peter expertly grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head. Tony blinks a few times when he sees the smooth skin gliding past the fittest body he ever saw.

“Good Lord,” Tony laughs. “You’re fucking ripped.” “Wanna touch it?” Peter retorts, causing Tony to blush. He smiles sheepishly at the escort and nods, slowly reaching out. He’s never touched someone else like this. Never with the burning pit of desire deep within his core. Never so longingly. Never this intimately. When he feels the hot skin on his fingers, he lets out a shaky breath.  “Why is this so fucking scary,” he mumbles, not even that taken aback anymore by how easy it is to open up about that to Peter. He’s safe here. “Do you want me to guide your hands?”

Tony nods. He’s relieved at the offer. He stares at how Peter shuffles his weight back to make sure he won’t fall. Then, he gently reaches up and grabs the back of Tony’s hands. Slowly, he brings them up, all the way over his pecs and to his neck. Then, slowly, back down until Tony’s hands grab Peter’s waist tightly. “Peter?” “Yeah?” “You’re beautiful.”

Peter stills at that and he stares down at Tony. “Thank you.” He whispers. “I mean it.” “I know.” Peter’s voice is so gentle, and it stuns Tony just how confidently the boy is taking his compliment. He trusts Tony to speak the truth. “We should go to my bedroom,” Tony continues then. Peter smirks and nods.  “Show me where the m- Eh, the magic’s about to happen?” Tony laughs and shakes his head.  “Good save.” He grabs the kid’s thighs tightly and grins, hoisting him a little closer. Peter gasps, a silent shriek leaving his parted lips. Tony stands up quickly- he’s eternally grateful for his workout sessions with Happy- and carries Peter towards his master bedroom. Peter giggles adorably, and Tony would be a damn liar if he’d say the sound didn’t make his heart flutter in his chest. 

“Holy shit-” is the first thing Peter manages to say when he eyes the bedroom with his pupils blown. “I knew you were rich and classy, but this? This is next level.” “Do you like it?” “Mmmh,” Peter pretends to think. “I will have to evaluate the softness of your sheets to-” Tony, carefully, drops Peter onto the soft cushions displayed on his large king bed. Peter groans, grabbing at the surface of the blanket. “Perfect.” He looks up teasingly and pats the free space next to him. Tony obeys and lays down next to Peter. He swallows when he sees the golden light of the lamps reflect in Peter’s eyes - casting a nice, warm glow on his torso. 

It makes Tony feel bold. He leans in and presses his lips against Peter’s ribcage. Peter gasps, the tiny sound so lovely that Tony wants to hear it again with all his heart. He sucks onto the skin, moving his kisses higher and higher. In the process, he finds himself half-draped over the kid, but he doesn’t mind. His opened shirt covers the both of them once Tony’s hot kisses have found their way against Peter’s smooth neck. “This okay?” he asks. Peter lets out a breathy, ‘yes, keep going just like that.’ Tony obeys. His lips suckling, teasing Peter’s skin, and the boy’s shaky moans have him in pieces. He wants to experience this… This bliss, forever.

“Tony,” Peter groans, and Tony can’t help the jittery explosion of butterflies in his stomach when he feels how the boy bucks his hips up to press his groin against Tony’s thighs. He’s rutting himself against him, oh god.   “Mmmh?” “I need you-” Peter babbles. The kid’s eyes open wide, and a deep red blush appears on both cheekbones. He looks so flushed and needy that it makes Tony feel all the things he thought were impossible. The things he’d written off as ‘fake’ or ‘only in porn.’ “I shouldn’t…” “Shouldn’t what?” Tony says, his heart skipping a beat. Peter presses his lips together for a short moment in time. Then, he shakes his head and chuckles softly at his own thoughts.  “I shouldn’t let myself go like this. Fuck, Tony, I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.”

Tony freezes. Surely, Peter could say that to anyone, right? But the flushed cheeks, the longing in Peter’s eyes, the desperate rutting… Is there a chance all of that is, well, real? “Peter, are you… I need to know-” he croaks. “Is this an act, or…” His voice trails off. It’s Peter who seems startled this time, and he quickly shakes his head. “N-no! I swear, fuck, Tony, this is not an act. I-” he stammers and looks up at Tony with such sincerity that it makes his chest constrict with emotions he can’t quite place. No one. No one’s ever looked at him like that. Not his high-school boyfriend. Not the casual flirts. Not the strippers that some folks jokingly hired for him at parties. No.

There’s absolutely no possible way that anyone could act such a thing. 

“God,” Tony lets out with a quivering breath. He stares at the boy and swallows. Even the boy’s beauty hits differently now. He feels connected to Peter in a way he does not understand. It’s as if this is meant to be. Them. Together. Their fingers tangled in messy bedsheets, their lips crushed together until they both ride their highs. It’s… Fate. And Tony be damned, he never believed in such a thing, but Peter makes him think anything’s possible right now. “You wanted to please me, right, Tony?” “Y-yeah?” “Then touch me. Please?”

The high-pitched moan that escapes from Tony’s throat is feral as he dives in. He straddles Peter’s thighs and mouths at the boy’s skin. Lower, and lower, and lower. He revels in the breathy gasps from his partner when he licks a stripe past the waistband of Peter’s jeans. He shifts his weight a little and sniffs once, slowly moving his hand to squeeze Peter’s hip. Then, he moves his fingers. Creeping up all the way until they cup the hard, unmistakenly big cock that strains against the fabric.  “Holy shit,” Peter moans. “Yes, Tony, yes. ” It’s all the encouragement that the man needs to move his hand a little - rubbing, stroking, teasing the boy’s groin. He’s touching another man. And while he feels slightly uncertain about what he’s doing, he knows he’s doing it right. It’s new and exciting, but it feels so utterly natural.  Tony had feared not knowing how to do any of this, but it’s as if his brains automatically steer him in the right direction. It’s addictive. Tony’s nostrils flare when a new, daring thought crosses his mind.

“Can I, eh, Peter, can I suck you off?” Peter’s eyes are dark and hungry when he nods. Tony grins, and he’s starting to feel more confident now. The boy moves his hands down and unbuttons his dark slacks, then desperately trying to push them down.  “Lemme help,” Tony chuckles, and he grabs the edge of the fabric, tugging it down when Peter lifts his hips. Tony’s breath catches in his throat when he realizes Peter isn’t wearing any underwear.  For a short moment, he just stares at the big, hard cock resting on the young man’s ripped abdomen. Somehow, the sight makes Tony fly grow tighter. Tony recomposes himself and tugs the pants down, tossing them on the floor. Peter’s entirely naked now, and he’s gorgeous. He looks like a marble statue or a beautiful Renaissance painting, the warm glow of his skin begging for ecstatic pleasure. 

“Hey, you alright?”  Tony stares up and blinks a few times, then meeting Peter’s eyes. He blushes when he realizes he’d gotten a little too caught up in staring. “Yeah,” Tony confirms quickly. He doesn’t want Peter to worry. “You’re… Stunning. Never saw anyone quite like you.” “Can I see you too?” Peter props himself onto his elbows and cocks his head playfully. “My clients usually like to get naked, but you don’t seem to be in a similar rush.” “I’m not like your other clients,” Tony growls, probably far too possessive and inappropriate. But Peter moans, and Tony counts it as yet another win. He shifts a bit closer and stares at the boy’s cock again. It can’t be that difficult, can it? Tony knows how he likes to touch himself. This has to be somewhat similar.

Tony takes a leap of faith when he reaches out and curls his fingers around Peter’s cock. It’s warm. It fits in his hand perfectly. He slowly moves his hand down a little bit and smiles slyly when it makes the other gasp.  He was wrong, though- It’s nothing like his own cock. It’s much, much , better. He leans forward and kisses the tip; the pink flesh feels soft against his lips. It’s a strange sensation. He’s touched his own cock often enough, obviously, yet this feels enticingly different and good.  Peter growls when Tony takes him deeper into his mouth, and the sound only spurs Tony on to keep going. “Shit, Tony-” Peter brabbles. “You’re amazing, k-keep going.” 

Soon, Tony finds himself in an enchanting rhythm. It’s almost stupidly funny how much doing this satisfies him. He’s not only giving pleasure to Peter. He’s taking it too. He loves everything about it. The way Peter’s cock fills his mouth so good, the way Peter’s fingers unconsciously tug on Tony’s hair to guide him in the right direction, the throaty moans leaving the boy’s lips.

“Tony- Tony, w-wait. I wanna try something.” Peter mumbles, and Tony looks up curiously, his lips parted and tingly from the continuous dragging motions.  “Show me?” “Yeah, eh, come here and turn around, facing- Yeah. That’s it.” Peter directs him, and Tony’s throat feels dry when Peter’s idea settles under his skin. Oh. Yes. “I don’t know how…” Tony mumbles, unsure where to go to make it happen. Peter’s hands easily guide him back until Tony’s kind of straddling Peter’s face, and suddenly, he feels the soft, expert lips wrapping around his cock. Tony curses out loud. His fingers grasp at the sheets as he feels the most intense pleasure he’s ever felt in his entire life. 

It takes him a few seconds to get used to the sensations, and then he casts his eyes down again to stare at Peter’s cock. Right. He moves down and captures the head between his lips again. Peter moans around his cock, and Tony swears he’s over and done with. Lost. He’s lost within this pleasure.  In an attempt to stay alert enough to know what he’s doing, he tries to follow Peter’s motions. When Peter sucks, Tony sucks too. When Peter takes him deeper, so does Tony. A slight chuckle from Peter reveals he sees through Tony, and Tony has to keep a grin at bay when Peter starts doing exactly the things he wants to feel himself. Their bodies sync perfectly together like this and everything is just absolutely 100% perfect.

Tony doesn’t think he’ll survive this. His hair is messy, sticking to his sweaty forehead. His jaw aches so bad, and his arms are starting to wear out from being in this position for who knows how long. He feels so, so good. His groin is burning, building closer and closer towards his orgasm. His balls feel tight, and Peter’s tongue is still relentlessly swirling around him while the tight lips keep dragging up and down around him.  He hears Peter’s mumbles becoming louder, though, and he notices the boy’s thighs are trembling. Tony whimpers when he realizes that Peter is this close to spilling into his mouth. It’s the sheer desperation of wanting to have Peter fall apart underneath him that he’s able to carry on faster than he had before. Peter keens with pleasure, his lips getting sloppy around Tony’s cock. 

The man doesn’t see it coming when suddenly Peter’s body seems to tense up, and hot spurts fill Tony’s mouth. Oh. Tony thinks, scrunching his nose a little bit at the slightly bitter taste. This is not what he’d expected, but he eagerly sucks and swallows every last drop.  “Fuck, Peter…” he breathes as he finally swallowed it all, staring at how the cock now lays limp on the boy’s stomach. Slowly getting smaller again. “Fuck, that was- Ah! ” 

Peter seems not to want to waste another second. The boy’s fingers dig into Tony’s upper legs as he sucks harder and faster. Tony’s world comes crumbling down when his mind shortcircuits. His muscles tense, and he releases without warning, spilling into the hot depths of Peter’s throat. “O-Oh, fuck. Fuckfuck fuck, Peter.” Tony chokes out when suddenly every sensation is heightened. The boy’s tongue swirls slow circles around the head of his cock, lapping up every last drop. Tony’s too out of it to say anything. He simply lets it happen, relishing in this wave of post-orgasm bliss. 

After God knows how long, his eyes finally flutter open, and he drops himself onto his sheets next to Peter. The escort smiles at him widely and reaches out to trace Tony’s chest with the tips of his fingers. “Did you like it?” Peter asks quietly. Tony smirks and nods, scooting a little closer to press into Peter’s side. “It was… Perfect.” Tony pauses and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, I… Couldn’t have dreamed of something better.”

Maybe they didn’t get to the ‘real’ thing yet, and Tony has to admit that he desperately wishes to know what it’d feel like to be inside of the boy, but for now, everything inside him feels light and fluttery and sound. “Stay the night?” he whispers, not wanting to be alone. Peter swallows and turns his head to stare at Tony’s face. “I want to,” he whispers, seeming to hesitate about something. Tony frowns. “Hey, you don’t have to, I…” “No, Tony. I… I want to. But it’s not without cost. I’m still… At work,” he says awkwardly. “I don’t want you to pay for that.” His voice sounds as if he’s sorry about it. Tony smiles at him. “Money’s no issue for me. I’d happily pay you double to have you around a bit longer.”

Tony knows it’s, again, inappropriate to say such things, but he can’t help it. He can’t help the confusing emotions when it comes to Peter. Peter looks up happily and nods.

“I… I’d love to stay.”

[alwaysmychoices]

I’m replaying book one and I was thinking what if Ethan had turned up to their housewarming party? Feel like doing a head canon/Fic ? 🤩

“House Party”

Synopsis: Tonight, Charlie and her friends are throwing a house party to relax after a tough week at work, and all Charlie wants to do is relax and have fun. She never expected to see Ethan Ramsey at the party, and she certainly didn’t expect to spend the night talking on the roof with him...

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlie Greene) (prequel to A Weekend w/ Dr. Ramsey Series)

Choices Story: Open Heart (set during book 1 house party)

Rating: Teen

Words: 3.5k

TW: discussions of workplace sexism

Thank you for this ask! 

Ethan Ramsey didn’t attend parties, and he certainly never attended intern parties.

So, why was he making his way through a crowded hallway to this one?

He was asking himself the very same question. Of course, it was Naveen’s fault. Only a few hours earlier, they’d been sharing dinner in Ethan’s apartment. Over a glass of brandy, Naveen ordered Ethan to attend. Ethan initially refused, but with enough pressure, Naveen succeeded in manipulating his friend into attending.

Naveen said that he wanted Ethan to make more friends in the hospital, so he should go. Ethan suspected Naveen was up to something, but he hadn’t figured out what.

The second Ethan stepped through the apartment’s front door, he felt old.

Almost everyone was at least a decade younger than him. They moved through the crowded space with ease, and they stared at Ethan with apparent displeasure and shock. Ethan didn’t recognize the song playing or even the drinking games happening around the room.

He shouldn’t be here.

He resisted the urge to run away as fast as he could.

He could see whispers ripple through the party. Everyone knew he was here anyway. He was determined to stay for a while just to prove himself.

Pushing past a group of drunk pediatric interns, Ethan searched for the bar. He knew that the alcohol would be cheap, but he hoped it would be strong enough to ease his discomfort.

He didn’t recognize most of the attendees. Most of them were residents from other departments. The few attendings were young and interacted with Ethan rarely. He knew the nurses but only professionally, so he felt strange walking up to them now.

Ethan wondered who lived in this apartment. Should he be greeting them? Was he supposed to bring a bottle of something to thank them for their hospitality? Were they his interns? Would it be weird if he talked to them here?

Speaking of interns, he saw one of them.

His favorite, arguably.

Charlotte Greene.

She was in the middle of the room, surrounded by a crowd of people that seemed to adore her. Like the rest of them, Ethan felt captivated. Outside of work, she was different. Softer, more confident. Less afraid, certainly.

And… well, beautiful, too.

He already knew she was beautiful. Even sleep-deprived and dressed in frumpy scrubs, she was pretty. But nonetheless, seeing her so stunning now was shocking. He almost felt guilty for the thought. Like his mind was overstepping some professional line – a line that frequently felt faint with Charlie.

He liked her too much.

She was too similar to him. Too talented. Too promising. Too kind. And far too friendly.

She was dangerous but in a way that was easy to keep away.

But tonight, as Ethan approached her in a crowded party, she seemed… enticing. Impossible to ignore. He couldn’t stop staring. He even had an urge to talk to her.

He was close enough now that he could see the man standing next to her.

Bryce Lahela. A surgical intern. Very promising from what Ethan’s colleagues said.

And he was all over her. Lahela’s arm hooked around Charlie’s bare midriff, keeping her pulled tightly against him. His fingertips dug into her skin, squeezing her skin as he whispered into her ear. She bit her lower lip as she listened, and he finished whatever he said with a kiss on her lower jaw.

Ethan hated it. He didn’t want Bryce to flirt with Charlie, and he didn’t know why. Eventually, he likened it to some sort of protection instinct – like he wanted to protect Charlie from the wiles of some lothario.

Not that she needed his protection.

Or wanted it.

Charlie Greene knew precisely what she was doing. This was her party, and Bryce was her man for the evening. Though if Bryce wanted to skip out on their friends with benefits arrangement, she doubted she would have trouble finding someone to replace him for the night. Charlie never got to do this. She was always working. She never got to put up her hair, put on a push-up bra, and expose her skin. It was the first time since she moved to Boston that she got to have fun like this, and she was determined to do it all.

And she was.

She was the woman of the night. In her tight jeans and skimpy top, she knew she was hot. And finally, after months of ill-fitting scrubs and stressful work, she got to be hot!

Finishing off her beer, Charlie whispered her goodbye to Bryce and smoothly exited his arms to get herself another drink. She congratulated herself as he watched her walk away.

Everything was amazing.

She forgot she was an intern. She forgot about her tough job and her long hours and her shitty boss.

Until she saw him.

Charlie felt the color drain from her face as she came eye-to-eye with her boss from hell, Dr. Ethan Ramsey.

She was frozen.

She couldn’t believe it.

He was here?

He couldn’t be.

He wouldn’t go to an intern party! Who had even invited him?

As Charlie stared at him, she realized she had been frozen hunched over the beer cooler, meaning she’d been showing him her cleavage the entire time.

She felt like she was going to throw up.

He was walking towards her.

Why???

Suddenly, Charlie did not feel hot anymore. She was an intern again – and a frightened one at that. She felt exposed and embarrassed. And so fucking angry that her night had been ruined and that he might hold this against her forever.

All she wanted to do was feel hot! Not be held responsible by a sexist man for the rest of her residency!

“Dr. Greene,” Ethan greeted her and regretted it immediately. Why was he so formal?

It was really him.

Charlie stared at Dr. Ethan Ramsey in all his glory. Annoyingly handsome, as always. More awkward than usual. And thank God, not staring at her cleavage.

“What are you doing here?” Charlie blurted out.

Ethan was taken aback.

He didn’t know what to say.

“I was just-“ Ethan began but was cut off by Charlie.

“You shouldn’t be,” she said, the emotion high in her voice.

She didn’t trust herself to stay around him.

She was upset. Her night felt like a mirage, and the façade of the confident, hot girl had slipped away. She was angry and sad, and she just wanted to get away from him before he committed her skimpy outfit to memory.

She remembered the last time a male superior ran into her when she was dressed like this.

It had been her research professor. She saw him at a bar, and the look of disgust and disappointment was burned in her memory. He never treated her the same. From that point on, she was just a silly girl. He never gave her the good projects, nor any accolades. She moved to another lab at the end of the year.

Dr. Ramsey wouldn’t be the first man to allow sexist ideals to ruin her career. He would just have more power to do it.

Tears welled in her eyes.

She had to go.

Without another word, Charlie marched off, disappearing into a confused crowd that looked at Ethan with suspicion. They all wondered what he had done to her.

And Ethan wondered what he had done to her…

The sting of rejection prickled at his skin. Maybe he should have known that she hated him. He felt… silly for thinking otherwise. He was, after all, their evil, demanding boss. What had he expected?

He never should have come.

Ethan no longer felt the need to prove himself by staying at the party.

He wanted to go and give Charlie her party back.

Ethan tried to avoid others as he crept out of the party, but they stared anyway.

He let out a breath of relief when he made it out the front door. Seeing the line by the elevator, he headed towards the stairs.

He never expected to find Charlie.

There she was. Just trying to be alone in the stairwell, planted on the third step up as she tried to control the urge to cry. Once again, Ethan had found her in a place he was not wanted.

Now, it was his turn to freeze.

Should he leave without saying something? No, that felt wrong when she was visibly upset. But he knew she didn’t want to see him. She made that clear. What was he supposed to do?

Knowing it was probably the wrong decision, Ethan took a step in Charlie’s direction and said, “Are you okay?”

Charlie’s eyes snapped to him, suddenly alerted to his presence. The pain in her face shifted to disbelief. Was he everywhere now?

“No!” Charlie snapped, too shocked to control herself, “Men like you lose respect for women like me the second they see her as anything other than professional and virginal, and forgive me if I needed to leave so I don’t have to watch my career slip away because of a revealing shirt!”

Ethan wasn’t surprised she yelled at him. Frankly, he expected it the second he opened his mouth. But he was surprised at what she said.

He had never even thought of that.

Of course, he had thought of the revealing shirt – a thought he wasn’t particularly proud to have. But if he was disappointed in anyone, it was in himself. She was entitled to dress however she wanted outside of Edenbrook, and it no bearing on her performance. She could be a competent doctor no matter what she did in her free time.

“Charlotte, your clothing – and anything else you do outside of Edenbrook – have nothing to do with your competency as a doctor. It would take a true misstep for you to lose my respect, and I’m sorry if I gave you any impression otherwise. You shouldn’t have to fear that,” Ethan apologized earnestly.

He wondered who had mistreated her along the way – what sexist man had used his position of authority to impose his ideas of women’s role in society. He wasn’t sure what he could or should say. He couldn’t relate to the experience, and he didn’t want to cheapen or misrepresent it by trying to seem like some kind of savior.

An awkward silence followed as Charlie wrestled with his words.

Against her better instincts, she believed Ethan.

And even though the threat had passed, the overwhelmed feeling lingered.

“Well…” Ethan ventured, “Enjoy your night. I was just leaving.”

She didn’t know why she said what she said next.

Maybe she was thankful for reassurance. Or she felt bad for ruining his night.

Whatever it was, she said, “You don’t have to.”

Ethan was sure he didn’t hear her right.

“What?”

“You don’t have to go,” Charlie explained, her arms wrapping around her knees as she tried to soothe the remaining fear in her chest, “We’re okay, so you can stay, if you want.”

Ethan thought it over, imagining the party left inside. He couldn’t stomach stepping back into the spotlight, and if he was going to drink alone, he’d prefer to do it in his own home.

So, with a polite shake of the head, he said, “I don’t think so. I’m not sure if the rest of the party would agree with you.”

Despite herself, Charlie cracked a smile.

He was probably right. She knew that if her friends knew she was inviting Dr. Ramsey back inside, they’d never forgive her.

But something inside her begged her to not let him go.

She didn’t want to be alone, and somehow, Dr. Ramsey ended up being the person here with her.

“I’m going to the roof,” Charlie announced, “You can come. I’ll bring alcohol if that makes it better.”

“You want me to come?” Ethan was shocked.

He liked Charlie, sure. He even thought that she could be a mentee one day, but he never expected she would invite him to share a drink on a roof. Was this something he should say no to? It crossed a line. But looking at her now, he felt like he couldn’t leave her alone.

So, against his better judgment, he agreed.

He had so many opportunities to back out.

But 10 minutes later, he was up on that roof with her, staring at the Boston skyline with a beer in hand. In the dim glow of night, Charlie was even more beautiful than before. Vaguely, he registered that he had never been in a setting this intimate with her. Something about that frightened him, but like all the times before, he didn’t know why.

He didn’t understand the pull to her, nor did he understand the accompanying fear.

A breeze interrupted his thoughts, bringing with it a gentle chill. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Charlie shiver.

On instinct, he slid out of his leather jacket, and he offered it to her.

Charlie stared at the jacket with mistrust. Why was he giving it to her?

“You look cold,” Ethan explained.

“Are you just trying to hide my cleavage or something?” Charlie blurted out, and she regretted it instantly. Her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red, and she promised herself to never talk about her breasts to Ethan Ramsey again.

“No, you’re shivering,” Ethan chuckled.

Chuckled.

He was amused.

Charlie was both shocked and relieved.

And instead of acknowledging either, she took the jacket and accepted its warmth.

Another silence.

“So, why did you come tonight?” Charlie asked, deciding to satisfy her own curiosity.

“A friend insisted I come,” Ethan answered vaguely, taking a sip of his beer.

“If you have a friend in there, why did you look so confused then?”

“Oh, they didn’t come,” Ethan seemed humored by the idea of Naveen forcing him to come but ignoring the party himself.

“But they made you?”

“Yes,” Ethan affirmed.

Charlie hummed her confusion but asked no more questions.

“We’re throwing the party because it’s our first real night off,” Charlie explained, “And we wanted to make some friends who could commiserate with us. Every day, I feel more and more like a terrible doctor at work, so a successful party was supposed to improve spirits.”

“Terrible doctor?” Ethan repeated incredulously, and he scoffed, “No, you’re not. Young, yes. Inexperienced and naïve, of course. But you’re a good doctor. I knew you would be when I read your file.”

Charlie blushed, “You read my file?”

“You read my book!” Ethan tried to defend himself.

Charlie just smiled wider, and she averted her eyes to the skyline, trying to appreciate the fact that her hero not only read her file but approved of it. This was something out of a med school dream.

“You’re pretty far from home,” Ethan added. However, he released belatedly that he probably shouldn’t be so obvious with remembering the details of her residency application, “Not that I would have guessed. You don’t have much of an accent.”

“You look exactly like the kind of guy who grew up in Rhode Island,” Charlie teased.

“You know where I grew up?” Ethan was smiling, too. Like this was all some game where they admitted to knowing everything about the other. He felt close to her and free to say things he normally wouldn’t.

“Your bio is in your book.”

“Yet you didn’t know what I looked like.”

“I read your bio. I didn’t ogle a book jacket,” Charlie rolled her eyes.

Ogle. He was worth ogling?

“Besides, North Carolina is only a flight away,” Charlie insisted, just like she had to her mother when she moved to Boston a few months ago.

“Oh, and do you have winters in North Carolina?”

“We have mountains!” Charlie insisted, looking affronted, but she was still evading the question.

Amused, Ethan pressed, “And did you live in those mountains?”

“… No, I didn’t,” she confessed, “But to be at Edenbrook, I’ll brave any winter – no matter how cold and bitter.”

Ethan smiled. He liked her dedication, though he would also be entertained to see her trudge through the deep snow for the first time.

As they talked, Ethan began to see Charlie as more than a promising intern. He could see her on his team one day, by his side on cases. Her insight, though needing refinement, was rare. With his mentorship and connections, he was sure she would become something amazing – probably even surpass him.

They talked for what felt like forever. They both left a sip in their beer, not wanting to end the conversation by finishing their drinks. They talked about Boston, Edenbrook, their respective alma maters, and Ethan’s experience as an intern.

They weren’t best friends by any means, but… maybe they were friends?

Or at least they were acting like friends…

And there was a moment at the end of the night when they felt like… more than friends.

Finally giving in to the night, Ethan was walking Charlie down the stairs, and they were discussing their med school days. They were nearly at the door, and Ethan looked down at Charlie, watching as she laughed and told him a story about her sleepless nights in medical school. With her head tilted back and her eyes alight with humor, she looked… so beautiful.

Unbearably beautiful.

And all those dangerous feelings started bubbling up.

He liked her. He liked the intern. As a person and as…

Oh no.

He was trying to block out the thoughts as quickly as they came, but the urge was harder to ignore.

As they stood on the landing, looking straight at each other as Charlie finished her story, Ethan wanted to kiss her. He wanted to taste the lipgloss on her lips. He wanted to feel her soft, blonde hair in his hands. His thoughts were consumed with her.

And he was leaning closer.

He was too close.

Charlie noticed, vaguely.

She was still talking, but she didn’t care what she was talking about.

Because… she wanted to kiss him, too.

And when he finally stepped back, snapping them both out of the moment, she felt disappointed.

“I should get going…” Ethan said, talking mostly to himself.

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed, her voice soft as she tried to hide her dissatisfaction. Why didn’t she want him to go? “I guess I’ll just see you at work then.”

Work.

They worked together.

Ethan was her boss.

They both knew better.

“See you then,” Ethan nodded his goodbye, too afraid of his own impulses to give any other kind of goodbye.

As he walked down the stairs, Ethan thought to himself that Charlie Greene was very dangerous. He would need to be careful around her. Even if he didn’t want to…

From inside his cab, Ethan texted Naveen that he went to the party but that it was a failure of a night out. Yet, as he typed it, something inside him said that wasn’t true.

Charlie walked back to the party silently, wishing she was still back on the roof.

She felt ridiculous.

All she’d wanted was to be a hot girl in a crowded party, but now that she stood in the crowd again, she longed for the quiet company of Dr. Ramsey, a thought she never imagined she’d have.

“Where have you been?” Bryce called out, a drink in hand. A girl stood next to him, one he’d probably been flirting with only moments before, but he left her behind in favor of Charlie.

There were perks to their arrangement. Even if they were never going to be romantic, it was nice to have someone to pick you. But it didn’t bring her the usual comfort. Because Bryce was just casual sex. Most of their hookups were in the early hours of the morning when they hadn’t showered in days. All of their other interactions were just friendly.

They didn’t make her feel like she did on the roof.

“Oh, I ran into Dr. Ramsey, and we were talking,” Charlie tried to make it sound casual, and it was casual, wasn’t it? They were just talking, so why did it feel bigger than that?

“Boooo,” Bryce jeered, “Ugh, I can’t believe that jerk even came.”

“He’s really not that bad,” Charlie stood up for him instinctually, something she would have never done only a few hours ago.

“Ooooh,” Bryce grinned, “Do you like Dr. Ramsey?”

“No!” Charlie insisted defensively – too defensively.

“I think you do!” Bryce teased.

“The only doctor I want to sleep with is you,” Charlie asserted, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around Bryce’s neck.

Instantly forgetting his teasing, Bryce looped his arms around Charlie’s waist and pulled her flush against him, “Oh?”

“Mmmhmm,” Charlie murmured, her breath hot against his lips as she leaned in for a kiss.

“How about another drink and then back to my place?” he whispered, biting Charlie’s lower lip, and she agreed.

As she shared her final drink with Bryce and danced with her friends, Charlie was able to enjoy the rest of her night.

But something had changed. Something so small that she wouldn’t appreciate the significance for quite some time. But the thing was… she still wished she was back on the roof with Ethan.  

A/N: I hope you liked this. When I started, I was super excited to go back to pre-Weekend with Dr. Ramsey and show some of the FWB with Bryce, but when I introduced the sexism plot, I got nervous. If this was done poorly or you think it just came off weird, please let me know and I’ll go back to it. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just too nervous because I loved the idea when I started, but once the writing started, I became worried.

But if you’re interested in prequel stuff, hmu! Also, my asks are open for cool ideas like this! 

[sassyduckqueen]

Miraculous: Rise of Anatis 66

So here's my version of Feast. I wasn't too keen on Master Fu's whole background so I've tried to make it more believable plus this links in with the plan I have for the order and Su Han. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. The next one I'll be working on is going to be Happy Ending aka Akuma!Adrien. I'm looking very forward to writing this up as it will be more lighthearted and fun then some of the others that are to come :)

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Chapter Sixty-Six: Feast (2/2)

Luka frowned as he sat on his bed, holding Feng's journal in his hand. He had been trying to read it but found he couldn't concentrate. After helping Marianne meet with Master Fu, he decided to return home. She had asked how he knew of Fu and he explained that he had helped him during Princess Justice's attack and had decided to help him out now and then such as picking up groceries for him. She had commented that she wasn't surprised that he had been helping Fu out but he didn't mention he was Anatis. It's not that he didn't like her but more about the trust thing. He was still confused with everything and her mentioning that she was a witch as well offering to teach him magic had given him a lot to think about but also learning of her existence and that Fu had a sweetheart had made him wonder how truthful Fu had been. It wasn't that he thought Master Fu shouldn't have a life outside of the miraculous but Fu himself had acted like that was his life and didn't mention anything outside of it then there was the question he hadn't want to face that lead to other questions. Did Master Fu know he was Feng's reincarnation? If so, is that why he decided to entrust Luka with the miraculous? And finally the last and hardest question... if Master Fu did know... was he going to tell him? Luka didn't know what to think because of the recent events. A few weeks ago, he might have known the answer but a few weeks ago he didn't know that he was a vessel for an ancient mage or that Master Fu was possibly living a double life. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't feel entitled to know what Fu did in his life. He honestly was happy for him in having a love interest but it also felt like Fu was going against his own lessons. In the guardian training, they had been doing Fu had made out that his way of living had been something that he had chosen because he was the guardian of the miraculous, only then for him to have this whole different life outside of it. That wasn't even including the fact that Fu might have known witches existed. Did he not consider that knowing that piece of information could have helped? Luka didn't want to be angry but it just didn't sit right with him but maybe that was Feng thinking that and not Luka. He didn't know anymore. Tikki gently poked his cheek, making him look over at him.

 "Are you ok?" She asked, making him sigh.

 "I'm not sure," He admitted, looking down. "Master Fu always seemed to make out that his life was all about the miraculous. I mean his own landlord doesn't even know his real name and he's gone on and on about secret identities but now it turns out that he has a lover who isn't a miraculous holder but knows all about Fu and the miraculous yet I'm not allowed to tell anyone... I feel hurt that he never told me about her or anything about his life. When I've asked him about what happened with the temple, he shoots me down and changes the subject. I get that he has a life... I'm not mad about that. I mean he runs a massage parlor and I'm not there 24/7 but... it just feels like he's expecting me to follow a bunch of rules that he's made but doesn't follow himself... am I overreacting?"

 "Maybe you should bring it up to him," She suggested, making Luka sigh a little but nod. He should be able to talk to Master Fu about how he feels after all. He moved the journal to his bedside drawer and closed it before flopping down onto his bed and looking up at the ceiling. He let out a sigh before rolling over to face Tikki.

 "Do you think I should try and talk to Feng?" He asked, making her look at him. 

 "I think it would be a good idea if you feel that it's the right time," Tikki replied, making him smile at her. She gave him a small smile back before yawning a little.

 "Why don't we get some sleep?" He suggested, making her nod before the two of them closed their eyes and tried to fall asleep.

 ~Master Fu's Shop, Next Day~

 "So what is on your mind?" Master Fu asked as Luka sat in front of him. Luka wasn't sure how he would react but it was better to ask him instead of letting it fester. "Luka?"

 "I... how come you never mentioned Ms. Lenoir before?" He asked, making Master Fu look at him. "Or any of your past?"

 "The past is the past," Master Fu answered firmly. "That is all there is to it. It has no place in the present,"

 "Then why chase after Ms. Lenoir?" Luka asked, making Master Fu frown and look at him. "She's the past, is she not?"

"That is for me to know and no one else," He stated harshly, making Luka frown before sighing. "Luka, I do not wish to snap at you but my secrets are my own,"

 "And I get that but you told me as a guardian, your life is devoted to the miraculous, and yet you go out every week to wait for a woman who might not have even turned up," He gasped, making Master Fu frown. "And it's not just that. Every time I ask about what happened to the order of the miraculous and why you're the last guardian, you brush me off. I mean you never even told me about the miraculous mage or even that what I experienced during Blackout was a magical backlash. You only started to tell me about him after I began to have the dreams and Tikki confirmed it was him! Which brings me to another thing you failed to mention! Did you know I'm his reincarnation and decided just to add to the list of things you've kept from me?!"

 "What? No!" He gasped before his eyes darted to the side, making Luka frown. "I didn't know..."

 "But you suspected..." Luka replied, frowning. "How long for?"

 "Luka,-"

 "How long for?" He asked again, making Fu frown as his eyes flicked silver.

 "Since I found out you were an empath," He admitted, making Luka look at him with a look that he couldn't quite read. Luka got up and turned to leave, causing Master Fu to lightly grab his arm. "Luka-"

 "Please let go of my arm," He stated in a small voice that surprised Master Fu. He slowly let go. He turned around and faced him, making Fu frown. He could see hurt in Luka's eyes. "Were you going to tell me? Or were you just gonna consider that the past and bury it deep with everything else you know?"

 "Luka, I thought it was pointless to let you know when I was 100% sure,"

 "And the silver eyes? The seizure from the Akuma? The second aura you sensed when I was sick from it? You're telling me at that point you didn't know?!" Luka asked, making Fu frown. "That you didn't suspect? What about when I asked to have the kwamis help me track down Issac? Or maybe the fact that I have uncanny luck and that the kwamis warmed up to me like no one else?! Cause now that I know what I am, I can see the signs as clear as day but you suspected and have had more information about that than I have..."

 "Luka, I understand you're hurt-" Master Fu gasped, holding up his hands but Luka shook his head. 

 "I have told you about my dreams and you had a rough idea of what might be happening to me... yet you didn't tell me...I'm constantly afraid about what's been happening to me and you knew that but you didn't think to even mention it!" He muttered, looking at Master Fu. It became apparent to Master Fu what this was really about as soon as he saw Luka's expression. It wasn't one of anger but one of hurt and betrayal. Luka felt like he wasn't trusted. "You never tell me anything. I don't even know you're the last guardian or how you lost the butterfly miraculous! And every time I've asked you brush me off and now this! Why? Why didn't you tell me?! Am I really that distrustful to you?"

 "Kwami no," He gasped, holding up his hands. "You are one of the most trustworthy people I know but I was afraid and I didn't know how to bring it up. As for my past, it is hard to talk about,"

 "I see..." Luka muttered, still looking down. "I'm going to go home. Good night, Master Fu,"

 "Luka!" He gasped as he walked out, causing him to frown as Wayzz flew over. "Should I have told him?"

 "I did advise you too, Master," Wayzz explained, making Fu frown. "But I think the best course of action is to let Luka come to you and when he does, don't brush him off. Be open with him. If you brush him off again, you might damage your relationship with him beyond repair,"

 ~A Few Days Later~

 Luka frowned as he threw a ball up and caught it again. He was laid on his bed and unsure how to move forward. He hadn't gone back to Master Fu yet as he wasn't sure what to say. He felt like he may have overreacted but at the same time, he wasn't sure. It's not that he wanted to know everything about Master Fu's past. He just wanted to know what had led to Fu losing the butterfly miraculous. That was the only thing he actually knew or at least until recently. He had talked to Lady Noir about it and she revealed that she had discovered that Fu's nightmare had been the ghosts of monks from the order. She had thought he had known so never thought to mention it but was surprised that he didn't. She didn't think he was overreacting but he wasn't sure. He frowned as his phone vibrated, making him pick it up and see Marinette was calling. He smiled a little pressed answer.

 "Hey," He answered.

 "Hey, are you free?" She asked, making him smile a little. "Alix has invited us for an unveiling of a new exhibition at the Louvre and I was wondering if you wanted to join us then get lunch with me afterward?"

 "Are you asking me on a date?" He asked, grinning.

 "Um... no! Yes!! Urg... maybe?" She asked in a flustered manner. He chuckled. "Would you like it to be a date? I'd like to be a date..."

 "Um.. m-maybe..." He gasped, caught off guard. He would love it to be a date but he's not sure if he should say that. Luckily, Marinette just giggled in reply.

 "So it's a date then," She replied in a shy manner. "I can meet you at the Liberty if you want,"

 "Sure," He replied, sitting up. 

 "Oh, I should warn you. Alya will be there as well. Apparently, she's found something about superheroes," She grumbled, making him chuckle. "I thought you might be interested in that too since you were interested in the Egyptian exhibit,"

 "Yeah, that would be interesting," Luka replied, smiling. Plus that way he could find out what Alya wanted to show them. "I better get dressed,"

 "That might be a good idea, Lu," She laughed, making him smile. "See you soon?"

 "Yeah. See you soon, Melody," He replied before they hung up. He put his phone down and got up. He grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom, taking a quick shower before coming back through as he dried his hair. He glanced in his mirror and frowned a little to himself as Tikki flew over. He flicked his hair that was slightly faded. "I need to redo my hair,"

 "It's not like that naturally?" She asked, making him smile and shake his head.

 "No, I add the teal and dyed it black," He replied as he changed from his PJs into his outfit. He decided to wear his usual pants but switched his jagged stone shirt for his kitty section t-shirt that Marinette had made for him. He smiled and sat down on the bed as he pulled on his socks and shoes as Tikki settled next to him. "My hair is naturally dark brown,"

 "Really?" Tikki asked, making Luka smile. "I bet you'd look really handsome with your natural color... not that you don't look handsome already..."

 "I get what you mean, Tikki," He smiled, gently picking her up in his hands. "I don't mind my natural color. I just prefer my hair like his but thank you,"

 He gently kissed her forehead, making her giggle before she floated up as his mother shouted for him. He smiled and opened his hoodie for her, causing her to fly inside before he grabbed his phone and keys then headed upstairs. Marinette was stood, talking to Juleka as she waited for him. He couldn't help but smile as he saw her. She was wearing a black hoodie with cat ears on it and a green paw print on the side. She had black shorts on as well and black ballet pumps. Her hair was done in her usual style but she had switched out her red hair ties for lime green ones. He cleared his throat, making her look behind her. She grinned as she smiled at him before walking over.

 "You're wearing your kitty section shirt," She grinned, clearly happy. He couldn't help but smile. "It looks awesome,"

 "Well, you did make it," He smiled, making her blush. "I love your outfit. Lady Noir inspired?"

 "Yep," She grinned, popping the p before pulling up her hood and lifting her hands as if they were paws. "Do I look pawesome?"

 "Such a cute kitty," He grinned, making her giggle as Juleka rolled her eyes and mumbled something about getting a room. Both of them blushed as she grinned and walked away, leaving them both alone. Luka gently rubbed the back of his neck as Marinette pressed her fingers together. "Should we get going?"

 "Y-Yeah," She nodded, smiling as she hooked her arm around his. He smiled as they walked off the liberty.

 ~At The Louvre Museum~

 "Alya! They're here!" Alix grinned, waving as Marinette and Luka came over. Alya looked up from her phone and grinned.

 "Girl, that hoodie is so cute," She smiled as Marinette smiled. "You need to put your hero-inspired stuff on your website. Oh, we could do another photoshoot!"

 "Hmm... I don't know... would people actually buy this stuff?" She asked, playing with the sleeves. Luka gently knocked his arm in hers.

 "Of course, they would," He smiled, making her grin back. "You're an amazing artist, Melody,"

 "Well... Juleka would be a great model for this..." She mumbled, smiling. "Oh, maybe I could ask Rose to model with her so she doesn't feel too overwhelmed,"

 "That's a great idea," Luka smiled, getting a nod of Alix and Alya before he turned his attention to the pink-haired girl. "Marinette mentioned that something was going down in the museum?"

 "My dad has been setting up several attractions to bring people to the museum," She replied, making Luka nod as he looked at the posters of the upcoming events. "There's even a music contest. Hey, you should enter,"

 "I don't know," Luka mumbled, looking to the side. "I'm not good enough... besides it says that it's a violin contest,"

 "Bull and so what if it is," Alix replied as they walked inside the museum. She grabbed a leaflet and handed it to him. "You should at least think about it,"

 "Maybe," He muttered, folding it up and putting it into his pocket. Alix gave him a look before heading to the front of the group. She led them inside, causing Luka to look around as he did. It was quite a turnout. Adrien and Kagami were stood with Adrien's bodyguard, Nathalie, and her mother. Next to them was Chloe and her family. The mayor looked very excited but Mrs. Bourgeois looked very bored. Luka wasn't surprised. She probably thought history was utterly ridiculous. Near to them was a cameraman and Nadja Chamack, who was doing a piece on the reveal. Before he continued looking around to see who else was there, the sound of his name made him look around alarmed before he noticed Jagged rushing over to him.

 "Dad?" He gasped, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

 "Oh, Alim invited me," He grinned, causing Luka to give Alix a questioning look. She shrugged as she felt just as confused as he did. "Plus history is rock and roll. Ah, Marinette! How's my favorite designer?!"

 "I'm good thank you," She smiled, making Jagged grin. "How are Penny and Fang?"

 "They're good," He grinned, making her nod. "Penny's enjoying a nice spa day with Fang today so I thought I'd take up Alim's invite and check his latest find. Hey, why don't you guys stand with me?"

 "Oh, that would give me a great view of the exhibit for my blog!" Alya grinned, causing Jagged to grin and lead the four of them to the front. Luka smiled at Marinette as she leaned against his side, moving his arm around her shoulder. Mr. Kubdel walked over to the podium and smiled as the crowd looked at him. Alya grinned and began to film as they heard Nadja doing her own piece of the camera.

 "Welcome, everyone. It's so nice to see people still interested in history," Mr. Kubdel smiled. "Especially young people,"

 Alix groaned and hid her face.

 "Now today is a very special day as it marks the first time in a while that we have a new exhibit," He continued, making people murmur. "And even better, it's not Egyptian,"

 A few people chuckled at that. 

 "This statue was found in the highest mountains of Tibet and appears to have been carved from hardened lava," He continued, making a few people whisper in interest. Marinette leaned over closer to Luka.

 "This is exciting," She whispered, making him nod in reply before she leaned against him again. He smiled as Mr. Kubdel continued to talk about how it was discovered, causing people to discuss it excitedly. He clapped his hands and moved over to the red curtain covering the statue. 

 "Now for the moment of truth," He stated, taking the rope in his hand and pulling it. The curtain dropped, revealing a strange little statue but almost instantly, Luka stepped back as he felt a pulse coming from it, similar to the painting and the eagle miraculous. He could feel it and what he felt from it scared him. That thing was not a statue but what surprised him was the sound of a crash. He glanced over as Gabriel's assistant dropped her iPad and stepped back as if she was dizzy. However, he couldn't think much of it as his head pulsed again, causing him to groan as it turned into a full-blown migraine.

 "Luka?" Marinette gasped as he rushed off, causing her, Alix, and Alya to follow. He rushed into a stall and locked the door before throwing up as Tikki flew out and asked him if he was ok. He shakily grabbed some tissue and wiped his mouth before dropping it in the bowl and pressing the flush. Slowly, he stood up and unlocked the door before walking over to a sink. He ran the tap and splashed his face, closing his eyes as he did. He straightened up and looked in the mirror, jumping as he saw Feng stood behind him.

 "N-Now's not a good time," He muttered, leaning against the sink before he looked up but Feng didn't disappear. "What?"

 "We need to talk," He stated, making Luka frown. "It's important,"

 "Tonight?" Luka stated, making Feng nod before he disappeared. He let out a sigh as Tikki flew over to him. "Great... an appointment with my past self... how did it get to this, Tikki?"

 "If he's asking to see you, it must be important," She stated, making him nod. "But are you ok?"

 "I don't know," He muttered, frowning. "That thing felt alive... and hungry..."

 "Hungry?" She asked before jumping as someone knocked on the door.

 "Luka?" Marinette gasped, making him frown before he checked his reflection again. He walked over to the door and opened it. She looked up at him with concerned eyes. "Are you ok?! You look so pale,"

 "I'm fine," He muttered, still feeling sick. "Just a sudden wave of dizziness. It's passed now,"

 "Are you sure?" She asked, placing her hand on his forehead. She gasped and pulled away. "You're burning up! I'm taking you home right away!"

 "Melody, I'm fine," He stated, making her frown. "Why don't we go and catch up with Alya and Alix?"

 "Hmm... alright but if you get worst I'll drag you to the Liberty myself," She gasped, making him nod in agreement. The two of them walked over to where Alix and Alya were. They were at the scroll that had the Egyptian Ladybug drawn on it.

 "Hey, you feeling better?" Alix asked, making Luka nod.

 "Just a headache," He replied, smiling a little. "So what are you doing over here?"

 "We were just discussing the possibility of that statue been linked with Anatis and Lady Noir," Alya grinned, making Luka raise an eyebrow. "Ok as you know I'm doing a video on it for my blog. Well, I've also been looking into Hawkmoth, Anatis, and Lady Noir! Not for their identities before you ask... well, not Anatis' and Lady Noir's anyway. Hawkmoth is a different ball game but I digress. Now if we're gonna go into this rabbit hole, you need to know that superheroes such as Anatis and Lady Noir get their magical powers from jewels called Miraculous,"

 "Right..." Luka continued as Marinette gasped. 

 "You told me you were going to stop researching Anatis so you don't reveal his secret identity!" She gasped, making Alya rub her neck.

 "And I am... because this isn't to do with Anatis but in fact Hawkmoth! I'm gonna help him unmask that insane butterfly man and save Paris!" She grinned, clearly proud. "And I think I've found a connection between superheroes, Hawkmoth, and the miraculous!"

 She turned to the scroll on the wall. 

 "Which is why we're here," She gestured to the wall. "So I'm convinced that Anatis and Lady Noir... or at least superheroes similar to them have been depicted through the centuries until for some unknown reason, they disappeared from the world and everyone forgot about them. We already know this one,"

 She gestured to the scroll.

 "The Ladybug holder of Ancient Egypt. Originally believed to be male but after some research, I learned that they are in fact female," She explained, making Alix look at it. "But I'm convinced there are others. Follow me,"

 She led them to a painting of a knight in black armor. Luka frowned as he looked up at it. To his surprise, the knight came to life. He could hear the chanting of war as the knight looked at him before taking his sword out and placing it on the ground. Once that was done, he got on his knee and bowed his head towards Luka as if he respected him. Luka blinked and when he opened his eyes, the painting was back to normal. He frowned a little as he looked at it. Was it his imagination or a memory? He wasn't sure anymore.

 "Here," She stated as they looked at it. "A black knight... or black cat miraculous holder? This way!"

 She rushed off again, causing them to follow her. She stopped outside a painting of a woman surrounded by butterflies. Just like the painting of the black knight, the image came to life as Luka looked at it. The woman smiled at him before holding a butterfly in her hand and charging it up before letting it go. Unlike Hawkmoth's, her butterflies were beautiful. They remained white with a silvery glow. Luka blinked as it fluttered towards him, causing the painting to turn back to normal as Alya spoke.

 "A Lady in the woods?" She asked as the other two looked at her. "Or a butterfly miraculous holder?! Oh, check out this one!"

 She dragged them over to the greek area, stopping in front of a vase that showed Hercules on it. Once again, the image came to life and looked directly at Luka, grinning at him before flexing his muscles and letting out a roar of power. Luka couldn't help but grin as he continued before someone knocked into him, making him look over at Marinette.

 "You're looking better," She smiled, making him smile back before he looked back at the vase only to find it was still. 

 "So obviously this is of Hercules but what if I told you he was the holder of the lion miraculous?" Alya gasped, making the three of them give her a disbelieving look. "Seriously? I saw him using it when that Akuma sent me to ancient Greece! Now onwards!"

 She led them to a statue of Jeanne D'arc and took a picture of it. Luka frowned as this one didn't move.

 "You know back in the day sculptures were painted right?" She asked, making them look at her. "Most of the paint vanished over time but tiny pigments still exist. Well, thanks to this app we can see how it originally looked. See?"

 She double-tapped the picture causing a ladybug pattern to appear on it. Luka rose an eyebrow.

 "But here's the cool thing," She replied, flicking to the picture of the black knight. She zoomed into his armor, showing a symbol Luka recognized as the symbol of the guardians of the miraculous before she showed it on the other pictures she took. "See? It's the same symbol,"

 "And it was on that statue!" Alix gasped, making Luka frown. Why would that creepy statue have the symbol of the guardians on it?

 "Yep. I think it's some sort of emblem that represents an 'order of guardians' that have been watching over miraculous holders over time," She stated, flicking to the painting of Sir Rene. She zoomed in and showed that he had the symbol as well. "See? Even the Dragon Knight had it!"

 "Ok, but how does this help Anatis and Lady Noire?" Luka asked, making her blink. "So far, it just shows that they might have a 'guardian' themselves,"

 "Right but I don't think they do," She stated, making him frown. "You see the heroes changed,"

 "Changed?" Marinette asked, making Luka frown. What did she mean by change?

 "Well, we know that 200 years ago, these guardians just disappeared but roughly 150 years before their disappearances, something changed and the heroes became something more like villains," She stated, making them blink in surprise. "So we know that ladybug heroes are usually creative and kind right? but after that change, several 'ladybugs' came into existence but they are not what you want in a hero. We're talking assassins and criminals! I mean from what I've gathered, Vlad the impaler had a couple of miraculous. Now I'm not saying that everyone was a bad guy but it seems that at the very least the judgment of these 'guardians' changed and not in a good way, which brings me to my conclusion. I believe that Hawkmoth might be part of this order but that also opens a whole different can of worms. Like why turn up now? Why give Hawkmoth a miraculous? And why are they fighting against Anatis and Lady Noir? I mean it's been 200 years,"

 "I don't think that's the case," Luka stated, making them look at him. "I recon Hawkmoth just found his miraculous,"

 "Ok but explain how he knows about the ladybug and black cat or even Mayura!" Alya gasped, pushing her glasses up. "Someone must be behind it and I'm gonna find out who. My best lead is that statue. Alix said it's about 200 years old,"

 "Right,"

 "Which means it's the last known trace of the order," She grinned, making Luka frown. "If I can find out who carved it then I could unearth what happened and why the order disappeared as well as why they have returned which in turn could help unmask Hawkmoth! Or at least my video might!"

 "Video?" Marinette asked. "Wait you're gonna publish your theories on the Ladyblog?"

 "Well, I already have... I mean how else will Anatis hear about them?" She asked, making Luka frown. "This way he can use the video as a reference and track down this order... Luka are you ok? You'll look ill again,"

 "I... I'm not feeling too well still..." He muttered, giving Marinette a weak smile. "Rain-check?"

 "Sure," She nodded, gently pecking his cheek. "Want me to walk you to the Liberty?"

 "No, it's ok," He smiled, making her cross her arms. "I'll go straight to bed,"

 "You better," She stated, making him nod before he kissed her cheek again and turned on his heel. He headed out of the museum and headed towards the Seine but ducked into an alleyway as soon as he was out of sight. Tikki flew out as he frowned.

 "We need to go talk to Master Fu," He stated before transforming and jumping up onto the roof. He raced across Paris and landed in the alleyway next to Master Fu's house. He detransformed and headed into the building, coming to Master Fu's. He hesitated for a minute before knocking.

 "Come in," Fu answered, causing him to walk inside. Fu looked at him in surprise. "Luka, I wasn't expecting to see you today. There's no Akuma,"

 "Alya has posted a concerning video on the Ladyblog," He stated, making Fu frown. Right now, it didn't matter that he was a little annoyed at Fu. This was more important. He took out his phone and showed him the video, causing Fu to frown as he watched it. "She thinks she's helping me,"

 "Well, Alya is a smart girl so I'm not surprised that she dug up this information plus she believes that the guardian is helping Hawkmoth not you," He replied, looking up at him. "But don't worry. None of this can lead Hawkmoth to us,"

 "You sure?" Luka asked as Fu continued to watch the video. As soon as the odd statue was shown, Fu went pale and dropped the phone in fear. "Master?"

 "it's impossible!" He gasped, looking at it. Luka picked it up and paused the video. "We're doomed!"

 "Master, it's just a statue! A weird feeling statue admitted but still just that," He replied but Fu shook his head. "Master?"

 "That's no statue, Luka!" He gasped, making Luka frown. "It's a sentimonster! A magical creature conjured by emotion and shaped by the holder of the peacock miraculous!"

 "Master, me and Lady Noir have already fought Sentimonsters created by Mayura," Luka reassured. "We'll do the same with this one,"

 "None of them have come close to the power of this one," Master Fu gasped, clearly frightened. He closed his eyes as Tikki and Wayzz flew over. "It was born from the negative emotion of a young man who had no idea what he was creating..."

 He fell to his knees, making Luka frown.

 "I can't let you fight it..." He muttered before he snapped open his eyes. "As the guardian of the miraculous, I order you to revoke your miraculous to me,"

 "What?! No!" Luka gasped, stepping back. "Who will defeat Hawkmoth? And that sentimonster?!"

 "That is no longer your concern," Fu answered, harshly as he held out his hand. "Now hand them back to me,"

 "No, I'm not giving them up!" Luka argued back, stepping back. "You entrusted them to me and I know I can defeat this sentimonster!"

 "Luka, it is too dangerous. That thing will swallow you whole and it is immune to the power of the miraculous," He gasped. "This is for your own good,"

 "And what about the good of Paris?!" He gasped, making Fu frown. "How will we stop Hawkmoth?"

 "As I said it's no longer your concern," He stated, making Luka frown. "You and Lady Noir will give up your miraculous then I will leave Paris with the miracle box forever. It will come after me as it hungers for the miraculous. Hawkmoth will also follow, meaning Paris will be spared from both monsters,"

 "But endangering everyone else!" Luka gasped, making Fu frown. He didn't think of that. "You can't expect me to give up and let Hawkmoth terrorize someone else or let you get eaten by some monster,"

 "Luka, as your master, I order you to return your miraculous," Fu started but it was the wrong thing to say because Luka's eyes turned a blazing silver.

 "I said no!" He shouted, causing the room to vibrate with the amount of raw power coming from him before his eyes turned blue again. "Master, I know I haven't been great recently but you placed your trust in me when you gave me the miraculous so please trust me now,"

 "Thank you, Luka," Master Fu smiled, making Luka blink. Had he convinced him? "Thank you for everything... why don't you go home but keep an eye on the app, just in case?"

 "R-Right," Luka muttered but he didn't feel like he had won. He frowned and turned on his heel, leaving the place.

 ~Later that Night at the Louvre~

 Mayura jumped down and slipped past the security guard, heading towards the Sentimonster as she stuck to the shadows. She ran over to it and stopped in front of it before holding out her hand. She opened her fan and held it to her mouth.

  "I can feel its yearning, Hawkmoth," She stated, smirking. "It's hungry. Ravenous for miraculous,"

 She placed her hand on the stone, causing it to crack and break before a small, blue creature climbed out of the pile of rock.

 "Yum, yum," It declared before looking at her. Or at least she felt like it was looking at her. It was hard to tell since it had no eyes. "Miraculous!"

 It dived at her, causing her to sidestep out of the way before it fired its long tongue at her, causing her to dodge and jump back as it crawled towards her. She held her fingers, ready to destroy its amok which made it stop.

 "You take one more step and I'll take your amok away from you," She threatened as it tried to resist and move forward. She used her power to make it feel the amok been slowly ripped away from it, making it groan in pain. "Do you really want me to destroy you?"

 For a minute, it resisted but then slowly surrendered to her, making her smirk and hold up her fan again.

 "The Sentimonster is all yours, Hawkmoth," She declared, causing Hawkmoth to smirk from his lair. He opened his window as he looked out to the Parisian night, allowing the moonlight to flood into the room as he sighed.

 "Ah, the frustration of having a miraculous just outside your grasp," He stated before holding out his hand as a butterfly landed on it. "I know that feeling of hunger only too well,"

 He placed his hand over it, charging it up before releasing it.

 "Fly away, my little Akuma, and evilize this sentimonster!" He declared, spinning his cane and slamming it down as the Akuma fluttered out of the window and to the museum. As soon as it came to the sentimonster, it swallowed it, opening the connection to Hawkmoth. "Feast, I am Hawkmoth. You have a consuming hunger that only miraculous will satisfy. Well, I can help with that. I'm giving you the power to track down and devour every single one! But after you've swallowed up their owners, you must bring two of them to me. The ones of the ladybug and the black cat,"

 Feast growled, making Hawkmoth chuckle.

 "Oh, but don't you worry," He stated calming Feast. "I'll give them back to you as soon as I'm done with them. I'll even give you the peacock's and mine as a bonus and thus you shall have eaten every miraculous in existence and your hunger will finally be satiated. Do we have an agreement?"

 It nodded, making Hawkmoth smirk.

 "Alright!" He declared, smirking evilly. "It's dinner time, Feast!"

 "Yum, yum!" It replied as the purple smog took over, causing it to grow in size. As soon as the purple smog disappeared, it let out a roar. "Miraculous!"

 It sniffed around before heading out, making Mayura smirk and follow.

 ~Dr. Lang's Apartment~

 My flower... wake up... Mila jolted awake as soon as she heard Toutai's voice before she blinked and looked around. None seemed out of order but she felt a tingle on the back of her neck. Take the Koi miraculous and run...

 "What?" She gasped but shook her head. He had never led her astray before. Quickly, she jumped up and opened the box, taking out the one he had instructed her to do so before she slipped it on and rushed out of the flat. Seconds later, a huge blue creature crashed in, destroying most of the place as it sniffed out her miraculous box. She silently transformed and called upon the Koi's power, creating a shadow clone that ran out of the building. Fortunately, the creature followed, making her let out a sigh of relief before a feeling of horror washed over her. She quickly checked and found her box was gone but then she remembered she wasn't the only guardian in Paris. She jumped up and made her way to Master Fu's before jumping inside. "Fu?!"

 She frowned as no one answered before searching the place. To her horror, she discovered that Fu had taken everything with him include his miracle box. She rushed back over to the window, hoping that he hadn't been stupid enough to have taken back Anatis' and Lady Noir's miraculous but if he had then someone would have to deal with the sentimonster. She jumped out of the window and ran across the rooftops, heading to where the sentimonster was...

 ~Feng's Hut~

 Luka frowned as he looked around the hut. Currently, it was just him in it but he was sure Feng would be here soon. After all, it was Feng's idea to meet. Luka still wasn't sure about talking to him but Feng did say it was important. A shiver made him turn around, coming face to face with Feng. 

 "I'm glad you decided to hear me out, Luka," He stated, making Luka raise an eyebrow.

 "You said it was important," He stated, making Feng nod and sit down on the bed. "Well?"

 "I had a vision that you need to know about," He stated, making Luka frown. "A sentimonster is in your time... hungry and ravenous... it will devour all in its path,"

 "The Louvre found a sentimonster recently," Luka stated, moving over before his eyes widen. "Hawkmoth is going to use it to find Fu! I have to warn him! Thank you-"

 "Luka, that's not why I called you here," Feng stated seriously. "There is something else you need to know,"

 "And what is that?" He asked, frowning. He hadn't seen Feng look so serious before but right now, he looked like someone had died. "Feng, what is it?"

 "It's already gone after him and things have already been set into motion," He stated, making Luka frown. "Your master is fleeing as we speak. He has taken the miraculous and is heading north. Lady Noir is already trying to chase him but she won't make it in time for she does not have her ring,"

 "Why doesn't she have... her... ring?" He asked as realization flooded over him. He moved his hands to his ears and touched them, finding the earrings gone. "No... he... he took them..."

 He sunk on his knees as tears filled his eyes. He couldn't believe Master Fu had done that to him and Lady Noir. He thought he had gotten through to him and earned his trust but no matter what he did, Fu just didn't trust him. Feng got up and walked over to him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

 "It isn't that he doesn't trust you," He states, making Luka look up at him. "He's afraid for you. This Sentimonster is much more powerful than usual. It came from the broken heart of a child living in fear and sorrow. He is afraid it will devour you,"

 "It will devour him!" Luka gasped. "And even if he manages to get away from it, Hawkmoth will hunt him down. I can't let that happen! I won't let it happen!"

 "Is that what you truly want?" Feng asked, making Luka look at him. 

 "What I want doesn't matter," He muttered, looking down. "I have to stop him. He's going to get himself and others killed,"

 "Well, that monster is only after miraculous," Feng stated. "As long as others stay-"

 "I'm not just talking about the sentimonster. I'm talking about Hawkmoth," Luka stated, making Feng look at him. "If Fu takes the miraculous and leaves Paris, Hawkmoth will follow and terrorize another city! He already tried to cause world war 3 and akumatized Meishi! He won't stop until he's won!"

 "So you're willing to fight the war, despite it no longer been your duty?" Feng asked, making Luka look at him. "You have been relieved of your duty, Luka. You can walk away and live a normal life,"

 "A normal life?" Luka asked, making Feng nod. "I could be... normal?"

 "Yes," He answered, making Luka look at him. "You've been given a very rare thing from the universe. A second chance if you will,"

 "A second chance?"

 "At a normal life," Feng stated, making Luka look at him. "Your miraculous came to you by chance and desperate man. It was a desperate situation and called for a hero to step up but that is no longer the case. Your journal has brought you to a crossroads with two very different paths that lie ahead. On one hand, you can walk away from all of this. Give up on Fu and the miraculous. You can go on to lead a normal life. You'll be able to go to school, get a career building instruments, have a family, and live happily. Or you can keep fighting. You can chase after Fu, reclaim your miraculous and defeat the sentimonster. You might defeat Hawkmoth or you might be the one defeated in the end. Either way, the choice is yours and yours alone but know this. Whichever path you decide to walk... there will be no way back to the other one. Once you chose, there will be no going back. I will not try and persuade you onto either path, but I feel obliged to warn you, that whichever one you take, you will never be able to change your mind again. Both paths have good things before them, but there are also consequences lying in both as well. I feel that you should know this choice and all that comes with it so you can make a decision that is right for you,"

 "What do you mean?" Luka asked, feeling overwhelmed and confused.

 "It's why I asked you here," Feng explained. "I know that if I didn't, you would chase after Fu and seal your fate. I think it's only fair that you should be aware of a choice you are making as it will change everything,"

 "E-everything?" Luka asked, surprised that one choice might have such an impact. "I... I don't know what to choose... part of me wants that normal life... but the other part knows I'm not normal... and what would happen to you if I chose to give it all up? Would I still be you?"

 "Luka, we may share a soul but you and I are not the exactly same. For one thing, our experiences are different," Feng replied, making Luka blink. "But you're as much part of me as I am part of you so don't worry about me. I won't be disappearing. I'll still be here when you need me, even if you chose to be normal... but I don't think that's the issue, is it?"

 Luka frowned a little.

 "I don't know who I am," Luka muttered, looking down. "And maybe this choice wouldn't be easier if I knew but I don't. Am I Luka or Anatis? Is Luka even real?"

 "You are both," Feng replied, making Luka frown.

 "How can I be both?" He asked, frowning. "Anatis is everything I'm not. He's brave, confident, fierce, and a hero. I'm just Luka and Luka... is just... well Luka. There's nothing special about me,"

 "Luka, you're a musician yes?" Feng asked, causing Luka to nod. "Then you understand that it's the musician who plays the song right?"

 "Of course,"

 "So why do you think Luka isn't anything like Anatis when Anatis is just the song you play?" Feng asked, making Luka blink. "Anatis is as much a part of you as you are a part of him. The only difference is you can exist without him but he can't exist without you... which brings us back to your choice,"

 "This hasn't made it easier,"

 "It's not meant to,"

 "I want to be normal... I want to walk away and give it all up...."

 "But?"

 "I... I made a promise," Luka muttered, thinking about how he promised Paris and everyone that he cared about that he wouldn't always be there to protect him. His mind flashed to Marinette. How would she feel if he gave up? And Juleka... Rose... Chloe... Alya... Ivan... they would never get their miraculous back if he quit. Chloe who's come so far and sweet Rose who took the role of the bee perfectly. Juleka is the perfect fox. It has brought her out of her shell and sure there is bad but he wouldn't have gotten free from Issac if it weren't for Kaalki and Tikki. Of course, Tikki. He would never see her again. Or Lady Noir. If he walked away, he would lose his best friend. Sure, he might gain a normal life but could he live like that? Because that's what it boiled down to. He could give up but would he be able to live with himself afterward? "But if I don’t do this, someone else will have to,"

 "Luka, for one moment... forget about others," Feng ordered. "And just think about what you want for once... it's ok to be a little bit selfish,"

 Luka nodded and tried to focus on it but his mind kept jumping back to the others. Would Lady Noire forgive him? Or would she hate him? And who would take over for him? What if they couldn't handle it?

 "... I can't... I know you say it's ok to be selfish sometimes but I just can't," Luka gasped, making Feng look at him. "I can't help but think... how would others react knowing I gave up? Would they understand and forgive me? I'd be abandoning my best friend! Would... Would I be able to forgive myself?"

 "This is who you are, Luka. The kind, selfless boy who wants to help people. Your heart is pure and gentle," Feng stated, making Luka blink. "Even when given a choice to be free, you think about others and how they would be affected so the question is this. Could you live with yourself if you walked away from the miraculous and been Anatis?"

 Luka took a moment to think but the answer was clear to him.

 "No... I wouldn't be able to," He answered, looking at Feng. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I gave up. I made a promise to my friends, my family, and my city. I'm not about to turn my back on that,"

 "Then you have your answer," Feng replied, making Luka blink. "Now the only thing is what are you gonna do about it?"

 "I need to find Fu and save that idiot from Hawkmoth, the sentimonster, and himself," Luka answered, feeling ready to fight before he blinked. "But how do I get out of here?"

 "Like this," Feng stated, tapping his forehead. Luka felt him fall backward before he jolted up in his bed, just as a piece of paper fluttered down. Instantly, he moved his hands to his ears and felt that his miraculous was truly gone. He pulled away and grabbed the piece of paper to read it.

 "Luka, you are the most incredible Ladybug but I can not let you or Lady Noire risk your lives to fix a mistake I made... he made a mistake?!" Luka gasped before shaking his head and continued to read. "I hope you can forgive me but this is no longer your burden. Be happy, live a good life, and forget about me and the miraculous. Sighed Fu,"

 As soon as he stopped reading, it disappeared in a green light. He jumped up and ran out of his room, climbing straight up the stairs to the upper deck. He ran across it and over the gangplank, just as Master Fu was cycling off.

 "Master!" He called out, causing him to gasp and race off. Luka chased after him. "Master! Wait!"

 Fu ignored him and cycled off faster as Luka continued to race after him. He came to a stop as Fu disappeared but before he could do anything else, a huge monster landed in front of him and headed in the same direction as Fu did. He gasped and turned on his heel, running back to the Liberty. He raced down into his room and grabbed one of his jackets, zipping it up. He slipped on his shoes and rushed out but stopped as he realized his hair would identify him. Luckily his mother kept several temporary hair dyes. He rushed over to the box they were kept in and raid it, pulling out a mousse that would change his hair black. He rushed to the bathroom and quickly did it before washing his hands. He put it back and raided the Halloween box, taking out a masquerade mask. It was a full face mask that was mostly white with a red diamond on the right side and a black diamond on the left. It also had golden detail on it. He put it on and secured it at the back before racing back upstairs and grabbing his mother's bike instead of his. Firstly, it didn't have a basket on it and it was completely black. He took it and across the gangplank before jumping on it as he heard screams. He cycled off, following the screams. Several people were standing to the side as their cars were turned over as if something had made its way there. He turned a corner as he cycled as fast as he could but to his surprise, he wasn't the only one. A girl on a pink bike was going in the same direction and going just as fast as he was. She was wearing pink PJs bottoms, a leather jacket done up, and a motorbike helmet. She had a broom on her back, secured with a belt. She had to be Lady Noir. After all, Fu took her miraculously too.

 "Annie?" She asked, confirming her identity.

 "Hi, Kitten!" He replied as they raced towards the sentimonster. 

 "I love the mask, my mysterious bug!" She called over as they sped up. "So what's the plan?"

 "Not sure yet," He replied as they chased after Fu and the sentimonster. Luka looked around, trying to work out a plan. He gasped as he noticed someone running across the rooftops. They were dressed in a similar outfit to Koro but it looked more like a fish than an octopus and it was dark blue in theme with white patches but their hairstyle was the same, making him release it was Koro but with a different miraculous. "Looks like we're not the only trying to help," 

 "Koro?" She asked, making him nod as they turned a corner. "At least, someone has their miraculous,"

 "I think she's using a different one," He replied before seeing a street that would bring them in front of Fu. "Let's take a shortcut,"

 The two of them turned down a different street and followed it around, going past the Dupain-Cheng bakery and the park near it. They came out in front of Fu and the Sentimonster, continuing to cycle as Luka looked around, trying to work out how to help. He noticed a bus moving in front of them.

 "There! The bus!" He stated, speeding up. Lady Noir did the same as he came to the window of the driver. As soon as he did, he knocked getting the man's attention. "Hey, driver! This might seem crazy but I'm Anatis! We need your help!"

 "Sure, you are," The man chuckled, making Luka frown under his mask. "And I suppose that's Lady Noir?"

 "Well, actually yes!" He replied as he looked behind. The bus driver rolled his eyes. "Look, I get that you don't believe us but regardless of who we are, it doesn't change that that man is been chased by a monster! We have to help him!"

 The bus driver looked in his mirror and gasped as he saw Fu been chased by the sentimonster. He gasped and nodded, taking the situation seriously as he released that he was telling the truth. Who else would try and help a complete stranger?

 "Alright! I'll help!" He declared, making Luka nod. "What do you need me to do?"

 "I need you to block that monster's path with your bus as soon as that man passes you," He stated as he saw Master Fu speed up. "Make sure you get out of the bus as soon as you do,"

 "Right!" The driver stated as Fu cycled by.

 "Now!" Luka shouted, causing the bus driver to slam on his breaks. The bus swerved to the side, blocking the path of the sentimonster. He rushed out of it as soon as he stopped, which was lucky as the sentimonster grabbed it with its tongue and swallowed it whole. Luka frowned as he looked back. It didn't even slow it down. He sped up and came to a stop where he saw Officer Roger's car. 

 "Officer, I need your help," He stated, making Roger look at him before he pointed at Fu. "That man's been chased by a monster and we need to help,"

 "Uh... sure but maybe we should wait for Anatis and Lady Noir," Officer Roger suggested, making Luka sigh again.

 "Why do you think I'm wearing this mask?" He asked, making Officer Roger blink. "Right now, I don't have access to my usual suit so I had to improvise. Now, will you help me or not?"

 "R-Right," Officer Roger gasped as Lady Noir stopped near them. "I'll help you but please cycle on the side of the road so you don't get hurt. Now, what do you need me to do?"

 "Can you block that creature's path?" Luka asked, making Officer Roger nod as Fu cycled by. Luka nodded before the two of them took off again. Roger moved his car in front of the sentimonster and yelled at it through his megaphone but like the bus, the sentimonster just swallowed his car whole and it barely slowed it down. Luka frowned as he looked around before noticing Andre's ice cream van on the side of the road. He nodded to Lady Noir, who nodded back before the two of them cycled over. "Andre! I'm-"

 "Anatis and Lady Noir I know," Andre stated, making Luka smile. "What can I do to help you, young heroes?"

 "We need to try and slow down that sentimonster," Lady Noir gasped, pointing to it. Andre nodded as he moved his cart.

 "Hop on," He stated, causing both of them to drop their bikes and climb onto the sides of the cart before Andre cycled into the path of the sentimonster. To get its attention, he began to sing. "My name is Andre! I make ice cream! I'm friends with our heroes! They refuse to scream!!"

 "Have some yummy ice cream!" Lady Noir shouted, scooping up some and throwing it at the monster. "A Lady Noir special coming up!"

 "Much tastier than the miraculous!" Luka declared, throwing some at it. They continued to do so until they ran out. "Andre! We're out of ammo!"

 The sentimonster threw out of its tongue, causing the three to fly off the cart. The sentimonster pulled it towards it and swallowed it as they landed on the ground, rolling aside. Luka jumped up, along with Lady Noir as Andre looked at the creature with fear.

 "Andre, get to safety," Luka ordered, causing the ice cream man to jump up and run off as Lady Noir held out her broom. "Ready, Lady Noir?"

 "As I'll ever be, Bug-a-boo," She stated as they faced the creature. It roared and scuttered over to them, licking its lips as it did. 

 "Hey! Leave them alone!" A voice yelled as Koro dived from the roof she was on and landed in front of the sentimonster. She spun her knife as she stared at it before glancing at Luka and Lady Noir. "Anatis, Lady Noir. Go after Fu! He knows more about this sentimonster than he is letting on!"

 "What are you going to do?" Luka asked.

 "I'll buy you some time to find out how to stop this thing... now go!" She declared, charging at it. "Shadow Self!"

 She glowed brightly before a shadow of herself appeared, helping her take on the creature. Luka and Lady Noir turned and ran towards Fu, who was staring at the carnage with fear. Luka rushed over as he stared.

 "Master!" He declared but before he could get much closer, a wave of fear caused him to stumble forward as he gripped his forehead. Lady Noir gasped and caught him before he fell to the ground. He took a deep breath as he leaned on her before he looked up at Fu. "You're not just afraid of that monster... you're terrified of it... why?"

 "I... can't..." Fu gasped, dropping the bike as he stepped back. Koro was dodging its tongue and fighting against it with her shadow but everyone here knew it wouldn't only delay its actions. Fu stepped back and gripped his head. "This is all my fault..."

 "Fu, please tell me what you know," Luka gasped, pulling away from Lady Noir. "I know you're holding back information but we have to defeat it!"

 "No, I can't!" He gasped as tears rolled down his cheeks. Luka felt sick from the amount of fear coming from him but he pushed forward. "I did this... this is all my fault,"

 "Annie, I think he's having a panic attack," She gasped, making him frown as Fu curled in on himself. Luka took a deep breath before kneeling and placing his arms around him in a hug. Fu's eyes went wide as he did, surprised by the action. Luka's eyes turned silver before he felt himself and Fu been surrounded by a light, causing him to pull away as he came face to face with a little boy. He looked around confused as he was no longer in the streets of Paris but in a room that resembled Feng's hut. In the middle of it was a pool of water shaped like a yin-yang symbol. The two dots in it were podiums and the little boy in front of him was dressed in Chinese garb but his eyes remained the same.

 "Fu?" He asked, making the boy look at him. He was still crying and looked terrified. Luka knelt and placed his hand on his shoulder as the boy cried. "Hey, it's ok,"

 "I di-didn't mean to do it," He sniffed, making Luka frown. "I just didn't want to get punished again,"

 "Punished for what?" He asked but the scene changed, making him frown as he looked around before he noticed the boy was now sweeping up. He frowned and walked over but he ignored him. However, Master Fu was now stood next to him.

 "I was younger than you went I was chosen to be a guardian. My parents told me that it was a great honor and took me to the temple to train," He stated, making Luka frown. "I wasn't very happy there. The guardian who I trained under was cruel and vicious. He would punish me for the slightest thing. Making me do 1000 push-ups, forcing me to go for days with no food, or locking me in a small, dark room with no windows. No matter what I did, he would harm me. He told me it was to prove that I was capable off been the next celestial guardian but I didn't want to guard anything. I wanted to go home and be with my family. I would write them every day but one day, Master Han came and told me the worst news of my life. My family was dead. Our village had been raid by invaders. They were among the casualties. I broke down crying and he told me I was weak and deserved to be punished,"

 The scene changed to the boy been sat opposite the miracle box as tears silently rolled down his cheeks.

 "He locked me in here with the miracle box, telling me I could not come out until he said so," He explained, making Luka frown. "I was to have no food and kept an eye on the box. The only thing I had with me was my apprentice staff. Hours passed and my sorrow grew as did my fear and anger. I wanted to escape and run away but I was afraid that Master Han would catch me and punish me. More hours passed and not only was I sad, angry, and afraid but I also grew hungry and I had enough. I didn't care if I got punished/ I didn't want to watch over the miraculous. I hated them as much as I hated this temple. No, I would escape. Anything was better than this place. So I came up with a plan. I would take some food from the kitchen for my journal and escape from this temple but I didn't know how to. Master Han had the only key and the door was locked. That's when I had another idea,"

 The scene changed again, showing him opening the box and taking out the peacock miraculous before transforming. He charged up a feather and put it in his apprentice staff, creating the little creature that had become a statue.

 "I created a sentimonster that would help me escape. The first thing I ordered it to do was to get me some rice balls for the journey as it would be a bleak one. I planned to have it help me escape once it came back," Fu explained before looking down. "But the miraculous must never be used for the wrong reasons. All of the bad feelings I had mingled with my hunger and wish to escape and created a sentimonster very different from the one I envisioned. A ravenous creature with an intense hunger for everything but especially for the miraculous as they were the cause of my suffering,"

 The sounds of screams echoed around them, making Luka frown.

 "In my panic, I lost my staff. The very object that would have allowed me to control it," He muttered as he saw the boy drop it before he detransformed and tried to put back the brooch as he cried. "I was just a child. I was so afraid I didn't think of destroying it by using the peacock miraculous. I had tried to erase what I had done but it was too late. One of the other monks got me out of there, telling me to run with the grimoire he had managed to save and the miracle box... the last miracle box... before he too was eaten by the sentimonster. It was then I realized how dire my mistake was. The sentimonster had devoured every box at the temple and when the guardians had tried to stop it... the temple... the order of the miraculous... everything had been destroyed,"

 The scene changed to a snowy mountain with the young fu looking back with tears in his eyes before the sentimonster came after him.

 "I tried to escape the sentimonster but in doing so, I lost the grimoire and the miraculous of the peacock and the butterfly. I thought the sentimonster had disappeared forever," Fu replied, looking down. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so foolish, Hawkmoth never would have existed..."

 "Master, you made a mistake but you were a child living in fear and grief," Luka stated, making Fu look at him. "And what Master Han did to you was cruel. I'm sorry you went through that but running away isn't the answer. I know you're afraid but it's not too late to fix your mistake. Give me and Lady Noir our miraculous back and trust in us that we can stop that creature. Let us help you fix this,"

 "Luka..." Master Fu replied as the light engulfed them, returning them to Paris. Luka pulled away as Fu looked up at him with resolve. "You're right. It's not too late..."

 He opened the box and took out the earrings and the ring.

 "I shouldn't have taken these from you," He stated, placing the earrings in Luka's hand and a ring in Lady Noir's. "So please go and transform..."

 "I can't pretend that I'm not hurt by your actions," Luka stated as he fixed his earrings into his ears, causing Tikki to manifest as Lady Noir put on her ring. Plagg appeared as well. Both hugged their holders, relieved to see them again. "But I understand why you did what you did and I'm glad you finally saw sense. We will talk about this later but first... Tikki! Spots on!!"

 Tikki disappeared into his earrings, transforming him back into Anatis but something felt a little different this time. He felt more powerful. He took out his yoyo and threw it as the sentimonster was about to eat Koro. He pulled her to safety as he and Lady Noir jumped over. 

 "Koro, get Master Fu out of here," Anatis ordered, causing her to nod and help Fu away as the sentimonster tried to attack him and Lady Noir. The two of them dodged it, jumping out of the way. "We need to find Master Fu's staff! That's where the amok and possibly the Akuma is,"

 "Ok, but it doesn't have any baggage!" Lady Noir declared, throwing her baton at it. She re-caught it when it bounced back before dodging its tongue. "I think we need a bit of luck!"

 "Ok! Cover me!" He declared, jumping back as Lady Noir charged at it. He threw his yoyo in the air. "Lucky charm!"

 A metal detector appeared out of thin air, causing him to catch it as it fell before he glanced around. Koro was bringing Fu to the side, causing them to light up. He jumped over and landed next to them.

 "Master Fu.. your staff... was made of metal?" He asked, making Fu blink.

 "Part of it was," He stated, making Anatis smirk. "Anatis?"

 "There are only two places where the staff could be then," Anatis replied, thinking. "Where the temple was or..."

 He looked over at the sentimonster, just as it swallowed Lady Noir's baton. Fu and Koro gasped as they realized his plan.

 "No, it is suicide!" Fu gasped, causing Anatis to look at him. "You'll never escape,"

 "Trust me, Master Fu," He stated, making the two of them look at him. "I know my plan seems crazy but I know what I'm doing,"

 "I trust you, Anatis," Koro stated, making Fu look at her. "You should put more trust in your student, Fu. He and his partner have faced this creature without their miraculous. I have full faith the plan will work despite how crazy it is,"

 "Thank you, Koro," Anatis replied as Fu frowned.

 "There must be a different way... we can still run..." He stated, taking his hand. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died in this mission,"

 "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try to fight it," Anatis replied, making Fu blink. "This is who I am, Fu and I need you to believe in me. Me and Lady Noir can and will defeat this creature,"

 "Anatis..." Fu stated before nodding and letting go of his hand. "Of course, I believe in you. You're one-half of the best heroes I've ever known,"

 "Thank you," Anatis replied before jumping over to Lady Noir. "I have a plan,"

 "I'm not going to like it, am I?" She asked as he spun the yoyo around them, pulling her against his chest as he moved a hand around her. She gave him a look as he grinned at her. "I hate you,"

 "No, you don't," He grinned back. "Ready to get the staff back?"

 "Oh no!" She groaned as the Sentimonster licked its lips. "Not the tongue,"

 He gave her a grin as the sentimonster fired its tongue at them, causing it to stick on them before it pulled them into its mouth and swallowed them whole. A few minutes later, they appeared in a strange area that was purple and blue. Random items followed around including Andre's ice cream van, the bus, and Roger's police car. Lady Noir blinked and swam over to her baton, grabbing it and fixing it onto her belt.

 "It's bigger on the inside," She declared, looking around as Anatis nodded. "Are you ok?"

 "I don't know why but I feel like we're been watched," He stated, making her look around before he shook his head. "Let's get this over and done with,"

 "Right," She replied as they began to swim through the strange place. Anatis looked around as they swam through things before noticing something swimming in the corner of his sight. For a second, his mind flashed to the creature from his nightmare but he shook his head and stopped.

 "Who's there?" He asked, making Lady Noir stop to. "Come out,"

 "I mean no harm," A voice replied, moving out of the shadows. It was a young monk, dressed in a red hanfu with orange pants. He had no shoes on but there was the symbol of the order of the miraculous on his hanfu but he had a hood up, covering his face in shadows. "You were swallowed by that beast, weren't you?"

 "Yes," Anatis replied, frowning. His instincts were screaming that something was wrong with this boy. His skin seemed slightly gray as well. "Were you eaten as well?"

 "Yes, I was merely meditating when that beast came in," He replied, moving over. Lady Noir moved back, afraid of the monk too. "Is something wrong?"

 "No, we just can't waste any more time," Anatis replied, making him frown before he and Lady Noir swam off, feeling the monk's eyes lingering on him. "Are you ok?"

 "I feel sick... something wasn't right with that monk," Lady Noir muttered, taking his free hand.

 "I felt it too," Anatis replied as they came to a temple. The metal detector beeped. "It must be in here,"

 "Right," Lady Noir replied, nodding. The two of them swam in as the young monk watched them. His mouth broke in a smile but it wasn't like a normal human's smile. Instead, it showed multiple fangs as his eyes glowed a dark crimson before he swam back over to an older man, who seemed to be held in suspension. He was much older than the young monk but wore similar clothing. He had no hair and large eyebrows. His eyes were closed as if he was asleep, causing the boy to tilt his head to the side.

 "Time to unite once more, puppet," He declared, turning into a dark smoke before it moved over to the monk, forcing itself through his nose and mouth. He gasped and snapped open his eyes, revealing them to be black and dark crimson red in color as he let out an unearthly scream that echoed.

 "What was that?" Lady Noir asked as she and Anatis hear the scream, making him frown.

 "Nothing good," He replied, frowning before the metal detector beeped crazily. He pointed down to the staff that laid on the floor was the temple. "There! I knew it had to be intact... otherwise, the sentimonster would have disappeared,"

 "In that case, your wish is my command," Lady Noir grinned, holding out her hand. "Cataclysm!"

 With her charged up hand, she grabbed the staff, causing it to break in half and release the amok and Akuma. Within seconds of its destruction, the area around them exploded around them, causing them to reappear in front of Master Fu and Koro. The two masters stared in amazement as they did before Anatis took out his yoyo and captured the amok and the Akuma. He released the purified versions before throwing his metal detector into the sky.

 "Miraculous Ladybugs!" He declared, causing the cure to spread around Paris before disappearing. Master Fu stepped forward and cleared his throat, causing Anatis to look at him.

 "I... I am sorry," He stated, causing both Lady Noir and Anatis to look at him in surprise. "I was afraid and didn't want to be blamed for your disappearance but I should have trusted you in the first place. I should have told you about the sentimonster right away and not brush you off. Please forgive this foolish old man,"

 Lady Noir looked at Anatis, who frowned.

 "Master... while I understand why you did what you did, I am still hurt by it," He stated, making Fu look at him. "You say you trust me but every time I've asked about your past, you brush me off. When I've asked about the miraculous you lost and how you lost it, you close up and tell me to drop the subject. You tell me the miraculous is everything and I can't have a life outside of it but then you go every week to meet your lost love. I didn't realize it but I'm putting my life on hold because of it. There is someone I love and I haven't told her. I keep blaming outside forces but the truth is... I feel like I can't tell her. I feel like I can't have a life other than the miraculous... a feeling I'm sure you're familiar with and one you're against but you act like you believe that's how it should be. Fu, your old master was abusive towards you and yes, you made a mistake. I get you were young but you... you should have trusted me and Lady Noir but instead, you didn't. You ran, knowing it would follow. And Hawkmoth would too. Yes, it would be nice to free Paris but not at the cost of another city... and now... now Hawkmoth knows who you are... he probably knows what you look like. All you've achieved is making this a hundred times more difficult than it already is,"

 For a moment, Fu was silent as he took in Anatis’s words.

 "You are right, Anatis," Fu answered, bowing towards him. "For that, I am sorry..."

 He turned to Koro, making her blink. 

 "My dear Mulan," He stated, making the two younger heroes blink. "I have a favor to ask you,"

 He held out the miracle box to her.

 "Could you hold onto this until I have found a new place to settle?" He asked, making her blink and take the box. "Anatis is right. Hawkmoth knows my identity so I must find a new place to live. I must set up a new security system and until I have done so, the miracle box is unsafe with me. I also ask for you to continue to train Anatis as a guardian while I sort out things. I will take back over once I am settled. Once his training is complete, I will pass the box to him... assuming you still wish for that?"

 He looked at Anatis, making him frown as he thought.

 "Yes but I also want to do it my way, meaning I want to have a life outside of the miraculous too," He stated, making Fu nod. "I won't sacrifice the miraculous but I'm still just a teenager,"

 "The training to be a guardian takes years to complete," Mulan stated before turning to Lady Noir. "I can train you as well if you wish,"

 "Um... I'll think about it... but we should go," She replied as their miraculous beeped.

 "Wait..." Mulan gasped, taking out a couple of cards and hand them to them. "My address... for training but also should you need someone to talk to,"

 "Thank you... Dr. Lang?" Anatis asked, looking at her. She nodded, making him look at her with surprise. He had no idea his therapist was the guardian of the western box but that was another can of worms he would deal with later. "Right... we should go... bug out!"

 With that, he and Lady Noir jumped away.

��"Come, Fu," Mulan stated, making him look at her. "I think we both need a strong drink,"

 ~Feng's Hut~

 "So you're back," Feng stated as Luka looked over. He was sat with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. He opened them as he looks over at Luka. "I assume you completed your mission," 

 "The sentimonster has been taken care of," Luka replied, sitting down in front of him. "But at a cost... Hawkmoth now knows who Master Fu is and my friendship with him is damaged. I don't know if it will ever be the same. He's allowed Koro... I mean Mulan.. to guard his miracle box while he finds a new safe haven and asked her to take over my training as a guardian,"

 "Mulan is a good choice to go with. She is a strong ally to have," Feng stated as Luka nodded. "But I sense there is something else on your mind,"

 "The temple of the Order... it will be restored because of the miraculous cure, won't it?" Luka asked, causing Feng to nod. "I met a young monk in there but he didn't feel... right... even Lady Noir was afraid of him..."

 "Rightly so," Feng replied, making Luka frown. "You know that Master Toutai's title was stolen from him by a man named Su Han and he murdered him as well?"

 "Yes, Mulan mentioned it but didn't go into details as to how it happened," Luka admitted, frowning. 

 "It was a painful experience for her," Feng replied, making Luka nod. She lost the love of her life. He couldn't imagine a harder pain than that. "Due to the nature of his death, it acted as a key of sorts..."

 "A key?" Luka asked, frowning.

 "Yes, the temple was built on a site that had a strong connection to the spiritual plane, and when Toutai was murdered by a man he considered a friend, that betrayal allowed for a dark spirit to escape its cage. Once freed, it seeks out a host, taking over Toutai's murderer. I don't think he was aware of the spirit but soon after, the guardians changed. The heroes who were picked weren't true heroes, Alpheus' guard, who were created to help keep the balance, was transformed into a cult devoted to finding my next reincarnation, and children were abused and punished in the name of the Celestial Guardian. They took my teachings and made a mockery of them,"

 Luka looked pale at what Feng had said. 

 "It was this very thing that led to the downfall of the guardians," He replied, making Luka frown. "Su Han believed Fu to be my next reincarnation. As a result, he tormented and abused him. He intended to break him down so he would never be able to reclaim the title that he believed belong to him,"

 "Wait... I can reclaim the title of Celestial guardian?" Luka asked, frowning. He did not want to meet this Su Han figure. He sounded awful. Feng nodded. "But how? I thought Su Han stole... how did he steal it?"

 "By doing the one thing a guardian should never do," Feng stated, frowning. "He used the wish,"

 ~The Next Day~

 "Don't be bemused. It's just the news," Nadja Chamack stated as she reported on the mysterious reappearance of an ancient temple that had been restored by the miracle cure last night. Throughout Paris, several people watched in their homes as she spoke about it. Audrey Bourgeois watched from her penthouse as Tomoe Tsurugi listened to the broadcast with her earphones. Alim Kubdel frowned to himself as he watched it from his home as XY watched it from his private boat. Over in England, Amelie Graham de Vanilie watched as well and finally, in their private study, Gabriel Agreste and his assistant watched it, frowning. 

 "I think it might be time to reach out to the others," Gabriel stated as he looked at one of his rings. The signet on it was the symbol of the order of the miraculous. "Send out an invite to the heads of the five families,"

 "And should I mention the miraculous?"

 "For now, we'll keep that private," He replied, causing Nathalie to nod. "It's a need-to-know basis and they don't need to know,"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: Coming Soon

[what-if-nct]

hello so after yesterday's super nice message of course the universe said "no everything has to go to hell now"

honestly this is such bullshit on so many levels. as with every celebrity scandal, I just don't understand how it's anyone's business? they're entitled to a private life? even if he acted like a dick and slept around, that's information that I have no reason to know other than k pop stars are commodified to that point.

I get that people are on high alert (as they absolutely should be tbh) after the Kr*s W* thing came out, but they're really just projecting it all onto Lucas after the first accuser literally admitted she lied?

(additional note on her lying: honestly what the fuck. there's actual people whose lives are ruined by people who do these things, and there's actual people involved in these lies she's created, does she actually think ruining a k pop comeback is worth lying about shit like this? even worse, I know for a fact this will be a boy who cried wolf situation for the next legitimate case)

I get that putting him on hiatus was the only thing they could do straight away and I also know that SM handles all its lawsuits behind closed doors, I'm just hoping they debunk this quickly and bring to light exactly how many of those things are lies and he gets to make a triumphant return soon.

honestly to me, if there's no crimes involved, and he's just a fuckboy, I literally do not care one bit about his sex life. his job is to perform, and be charming and funny on camera. he does that well and that's all I need from him. i highly doubt that there's anything more than sleeping around going on, but I'm not putting an idol over my morals if it comes to that. but it's bullshit that all of WayV has to suffer because of this.

Yeah, I totally agree at the end of the day it is none of our business. Unless everyone is of age then it's not information the public needs. I just read two of the girls that came forth were fans and the evidence hasn't been debunked yet, but even then, as long as they're over 18 I dont see the problem. I do come from the band scene and band members hooking up with fans is so common that everyone knows which member hooks up the most. But I do know that isn't the norm for an idol and is looked down upon. But again as long as everyone is of age and it's consensual I just don't see the problem. Like when the Chanyeol thing happened my first thought was oh he's just being a sagittarius man. I just can't take any of it seriously cause I genuinely don't care what goes on in their personal life. I'm more focused on my personal life and I'm only interested in what my friends want to tell me about theirs. I can't even tell you any of Taylor's boyfriend's names except for Joe, Joe Jonas,Harry Styles, and Taylor Launtner. I don't even know her current boyfriend's last name. Even if he did hook up with fans I still feel its just no ones business but because of the Kris situation which I still haven't processed. But I'm sure Lucas's rep in China is really damaged which must be hard for him and I hope the rest of Wayv won't be penalized because of it. And I feel really bad for Hendery, like he just got caught in the middle. The timing is just hella suspish too like why exactly right now?

[r-a-d-imagines]

>_> so like Diavolo is my favorite... could you do nsfw yandere headcannons? Maybe add Lucifer Asmo and someone of your choice in there too? You’re fuckin’ awesome!! 💫✨🌟

A.N ; my heart!!!!! y o u ‘ r e awesome!!!! i’ll add on mammon if that’s okay!warnings ; y a n d e r e, violence? maybe? unspoken violence (for the most part) i guess, possessiveness, that sort of thing, a p i n c h of somnophilia? mammon’s didn’t end up t o o nsfw, but the others are still v e r y much so

Diavolo, Lucifer, Asmodeous, and Mammon ; NSFW Yandere Headcanons

Diavolo- for your sake, i hope you like being a living doll.- diavolo loves, loves, l o v e s showing you off-so you’re almost always dressed up fancy, no matter the occasion. should anyone see you, they’ve got to know how radiant you are, of course-provided anyone d o e s ever see you.- more often than not, you stay locked up and at diavolo’s side-and since he usually takes away your clothes in private so he can ogle your body as he pleases... can’t have anyone seeing you then, can he?- he likes to throw parties simply for the sake of showing you around as his arm candy-he makes quite sure to keep you close, leaning over frequently to whisper in your ear about what’s to happen when the party ends.- “i’m going to have to rip up this outfit when we get back to our room, too many people are staring at you, honey.”- “you know i can see you looking at lucifer and his brothers, right...? is there something you’re trying to tell me? we can talk about it when the party’s over, my love.”- despite how happy and cheerful he presents himself to be during such occasions, the iron grip around your waist is a constant reminder of your... less than ideal situation. well-maybe it’s a good situation, that depends on what you make of it.- diavolo isn’t the w o r s t yandere there is, probably the easiest to be with if it weren’t for his... insatiability. he thinks he’s entitled to you-your body-whenever he should feel like having it.- it’s not a rare occurrence to wake up with his dick inside of you-if anything, that’s every other morning.- “these new pajamas i got you are just so pretty, you know...? i’m sorry for waking you, sweetheart, but...” he’ll usually excuse it away like that, but, in truth-he doesn’t care, he’s not very sorry at all. you’re his, you’re his pretty little doll-he’ll play with you if wants to. so what if it means intruding upon your sleep? in his mind, you’ll enjoy it, so why should he be sorry?- that’s the thought process he has with a lot of the things he does-why should he be sorry when you love him and everything he does? ... because you do love him, don’t you?Lucifer- it could be worse. ... you’re not sure how, but, surely, it could be worse.- everything he does, he does for you-that’s what he tells you, at least. you’re chained up in his room because he loves you. no one is allowed to see you because you’re safe that way. he’s the only reliable person in all of the devildom, so that’s why he’s all you need. he’s got a reason and an excuse for just about everything.- complain, cry, scream at him all you want-hate him, for all he cares. you’re his, and you’re going to be treated as such. and that has two very different meanings, i should mention.- behave, tell him all the things he likes to hear, and you’ll be treated like royalty. ... well. a royal pet, but, still royalty. if you’re nice, you’ll lose the chain keeping you bound to the wall for a little while, he’ll take you out to the kitchen with him to get something to eat, and of course, it goes without saying you’ll be treated amazingly in bed once you’re back in his room, but...- if by chance you d o n ‘ t behave... he keeps all the whips and such in his room for a good reason. cry all you want-he’s not going to let up until he gets an apology, a sincere promise that it won’t happen again.- once he’s satisfied, provided he’s feeling generous, he’ll come to you where you are by the wall and reward you-though it’s hardly a reward for you, with how sore you’d be, being jostled around as he fucks you is more painful than anything, but if you don’t act like you like it and thank him, it’s only going to be worse on you, he keeps the whip in his hand just in case.- and he’ll talk to you a lot, too, in... not the nicest of ways. g o d, will he ever talk. he won’t shut up. it’s infuriating, the smug tone of his voice, the smirk on his face, the way he stares down at you.- “... my dear, you don’t sound entirely pleased. it hurts, does it? well... how very unfortunate. perhaps try not to upset me next time.”- “you got yourself into this-do you just like my punishments, i wonder...? is that why you always act this way? or is it for my attention?”- ... it could be worse. you know it could be worse somehow. he at least cares enough not to eat you, you guess.Asmodeous- talk about a constant state of vaguely frightened irritation... he really does confuse you.- he’s not scary-he’s not even harmful, truthfully, he’s never hurt you physically, as punishment or otherwise, but he’s definitely... manipulative. upset him, and he’ll cheat on you, make you feel guilty for it, say all manner of mean things-only to rush to console you and kiss away your tears when you finally lose it an apologize, mumbling empty, baseless apologies against your skin, excusing it away with the claim of “i just had to teach you a lesson, baby...”- if he loves you as much as he says he does, you should be enough for him, right...? he shouldn’t go around and cheat on you, right? you’re his favorite, all he wants-right?- ... in short, you’re wrapped around his pretty fingers, and he has you right where he wants you most of the time.- whether he actually feels genuine love for you, stands to be seen, but he does know one thing-he definitely likes owning you. you’re something of a toy for him-always there when he wants you, always there to provide him with entertainment. he has no real qualms about cheating on you and sleeping around-after all, to him, it’s hardly cheating, he doesn’t consider you his significant other or anything, but...- he does always find himself coming back to you, and enjoying your presence a little more than any of his other little flings. there’s something about you that gnaws at him, constantly, making him crave you and only you sometimes-sleep around as he might, he has noticed it even feels better when does it with you.- he even feels something almost like guilt when he comes home after sleeping with someone else and sees the look on your face-that knowing, heart broken look, as you stare at the floor and mumble an apology while tears bubble up in your eyes.- rest assured-he always makes it up to you once he hears what he wants to hear, you’d be rewarded handsomely with whatever you might want.- “oh, come here, baby... i’m so happy you apologized-you know i hate doing this, right? it’s only to teach you a lesson, you know? now come on-how about you lay down so i can say sorry the right way?”- maybe he loves you-maybe he just loves the thought of you, of owning you. you’ll never know-frankly, neither will he. but why worry about such things when he can forget about it and fuck you until you both pass out?Mammon- compared to everyone else here? a puppy. a harmless, albeit annoying puppy.- the world will surely end if he doesn’t have your constant, undivided attention-and while he doesn’t go so far as to lock you up or anything, he’s certainly very... reactive, if you pay attention to anyone or anything else for even a second.- he’ll appear at your side at once, if he wasn’t already there, grip insistent as he tugs you against him, glaring at whatever stole your attention away, and likely yelling at it, if it happened to be a person.- “HEY! the hell do ya’ think you’re doin’? shoo, shoo, go away, leave ‘em alone! mine! go bother somebody else!”- you’ve just about lost all your friends because of him, nobody wants to go near you because he’s always there being a baby, but... at least you have him? there’s gotta be a positive in that notion somewhere, right?- greedy as he is, in the bedroom, mammon is very... demanding? that word is an understatement, but-i digress.- he’s not domineering so much as he is bossy and, again, whiny, throwing a fit until you touch him more often than not-but on the other hand, there are the odd occasions where mammon gets all... soft, and tender, with you.- it happens out of nowhere, usually-you’ll be sitting with him on the bed, probably doing your own thing and ignoring him out of annoyance, and he’ll start getting increasingly antsy, fidgeting about until he seems to snap-and suddenly, he’s no longer on the bed, but one the floor at your side, on his knees.- he tugs at your arm, mumbling quietly in hopes that you won’t hear-he’s sorry for bothering you all the time, but you understand, right? he doesn’t mean to, honest, he just needs you, please don’t be upset anymore, please, he’ll die if you stay mad at him, please say something, hit him if you want to, he doesn’t care as long you’re paying attention to him.- you have to admit-it’s an adorable sight, the way he shudders with relief when your hand touches his head, the way he smiles when you sigh and say it’s whatever, don’t worry about it, you’re not angry-and the way he whimpers when you suddenly yank at his hair, adding on that it’d be nice if he got up and apologized the right way... that’s just a bit of a bonus.

[arrancarscenarios]

You uhhh...you got any fluff by any chance? With anyone? Just feeling the need for something soft lately if you know what I mean...

actually, I had this unprompted thing sitting half finished, so I decided to finish it and slap it up here!

some fluffy Szayel/reader sickfic?? soft Arrancars are the best Arrancars

Quite honestly, you can’t imagine where SZAYEL would have picked up something that made him sick.

After all, he rarely leaves his lab, first of all. Second of all, you’ve never really seen any Arrancar ill — physically speaking, anyway — so you can infer that doesn’t really happen in Hueco Mundo. Of course, it’s entirely possible that you accidentally brought something back with you after a visit to the human world. You personally haven’t been sick since you came back, so if that’s what happened, whatever it was would have had to ride along on something of yours that you’d brought which Szayel touched once you got back.

(You can imagine he’d be incredibly offended if you insinuated that he doesn’t wash his hands, so it seems like things would have had to line up just right for him to get sick and you to avoid it.)

The fact remains that he is ill.

Though to you it doesn’t appear to be more than a cold or maybe the flu, it must seem horribly disorienting to him. Heat rolls off his skin to the point where he pushes any blankets away in a huff, only to scramble beneath them ten minutes later, shaking with chills. He complains to you about the world spinning so badly he still feels dizzy even with his eyes closed. Whenever he coughs, it’s a deep, miserable sound that leaves him breathless, and even though you give him enough cough drops to make his mouth go numb, he complains that it hurts to speak.

You get the feeling that a thermometer would be borderline useless for an Arrancar, but it’s plainly obvious that he has a fever. Setting your hand against his face to check always results in a shuddering sigh from him, or a quiet mumble that your hand is cool and it feels good. The whole thing makes him vaguely uncomfortable and irritable, as a fever tends to do to anyone.

Sometimes he opens his eyes to look at you and you see fear reflected in them. Despite the fact that he’s not seriously ill, something about the experience clearly frightens him. One of the possibilities is that maybe he thinks this illness is going to kill him, and that’s why he’s so scared, and that breaks your heart.

So of course, you just do what you’ve always tried to do; take care of him as best you can. This is different than gently guiding him toward bed when you think he needs to sleep, or giving him a careful hug when he seems upset. Though stronger medicine might help, he refuses to so much as open his mouth to take any. He apparently can smell NyQuil from across the room when you open it, even with a stuffy nose, and he wants no part of it.

That forces you to try other methods, like draping a cold, wet cloth over his forehead and sitting him up to drink tea… which, evidently, has a more inoffensive scent than cold medicine. You’re a bit shocked that he allowed cough drops considering how he reacted to the NyQuil, but you’re not about to complain. Hollow senses are weird, and it seems so are sick Hollows.

Finally, you decide to try something he doesn’t have to put in his mouth, because the sound of his coughing and how much pain you know he’s in is just unbearable.

Szayel is still a little out of it as you spread the mentholated rub over his bare chest, but he’s lucid enough to be at least attempting to follow your conversation. “Try to take deep breaths,” you coach, dipping your fingers into the jar again. “Too shallow and you’re just going to make yourself cough more. This doesn’t smell so bad, right? It should help open up your sinuses.”

A grumble leaves him before he lets his eyes drift toward you. “When will all of this be over? I have thoroughly reached my limit with being unable to breathe and having the room list sharply to the left anytime I so much as move my head a single millimeter.”

“I know, I know. Being sick is no fun.” Your free hand gives a light, playful tap to the tip of his nose — which, it’s worth noting, is practically the same shade as his hair by this point. “This is the third day, though. Usually people start feeling a lot better by the fourth day, so hopefully tomorrow you’ll wake up feeling less miserable.”

He scrunches his nose up at you, then offers a dramatic groan as though he’s been suffering for weeks. You can’t be too harsh with him, of course; this could potentially be the first time he’s ever been ill. “Can I lie back down yet?”

One more quick layer of the stuff is smoothed over his chest. “Sure. That’s probably a good idea. You need your rest right now.” As you help ease him onto his back again, you wipe off the excess medicine from your other hand. Your heart truly does go out to him. It’s probably not easy for someone like Szayel to admit to being effectively helpless and having to rely on you. “You doing okay, sweetheart?”

Obviously he seems dizzy, but he doesn’t appear to be in danger of vomiting on your shoes or anything. His eyelids flutter shut and a string of coughs rattle around inside his chest. Once they taper off and he can speak again, he sighs, “Other than the same complaints you’ve been listening to dozens of times over the past few days.”

“Aw.” It’s impossible not to melt right in this moment. Despite being aware enough to hold a meaningful conversation with you, it’s as if that part of his mind telling him to avoid vulnerability and have confidence at 1000% at all times has been switched off. His guard is sort of down, allowing him to be more honest with you than he usually is.

You reach down to run your fingers through his hair. It’s nice to have him so open and a bit, dare you say it, docile, but being that it’s probably thanks to the fever, you hope he’s got a little more piss and vinegar in him tomorrow. “It’s okay,” you murmur. “I don’t mind listening to you complain about things over and over. You don’t feel well; you’re actually more entitled to bitch right now than you usually are.”

A crackly wheeze of a laugh makes its way past his lips. This is more at peace than you’ve seen Szayel in a long, long time. Despite the discomfort he’s in, his face relaxed almost immediately upon feeling your touch. His eyes crack open just a little, and there’s a tiny bit of his constantly inquisitive nature shining through in them. “… It’s easier, you know. With you.”

He closes his eyes again as you continue to stroke his hair. Though you can definitely still hear the congestion in his breathing, for the moment the coughs seem to have settled a bit.

“Being — like this,” he tries to clarify. “I hate… I hate… being seen like this… complaining and confessing to… what feels like w… weakness… I know I’m weak… even most of the time when I’m not… at this huge disadvantage…”

One hand grabs at the edge of his blanket, pulling it up over his waist, as warm as he can be without smearing the rub all over it. “If… if anyone had to… see me like this… I’m glad it was you.”

Alright, fine. There goes your fucking heart.

You lean down and press a gentle kiss to his forehead; relieved to feel that he’s slightly less warm than he was earlier. Maybe his fever is starting to break. “And I’m glad to be here taking care of you. I love you, Szayel.” Your hand finds it way to his, loosely slipping your fingers into the cracks between his.

“Get some sleep, okay? You’ll feel better in the morning.”

[mytrashs-blog]

Movie Star

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, SO MUCH ANGST, swearing, Tom being an asshole, there’s a mention of an injury...

Summary: Tom is your best friend, but fame can change a lot of things.

Word Count: 2,609 (Probably the longest one piece I’ve done)

A/N: So! This is an entry for @unholyhaz and @spidey-waffles11 #marvellouswafflescelebration writing challenge. I am actually quite proud of this baby and how freaking painful it is. I was having a hard time with the prompt because I kept wanting to write it the same way it happened in the movie, so yeah, I’m very happy with this. Enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part two

(This pic doesn’t belong to me, I took it off google, but I did edit it a little)

You never thought your friendship with Tom would end up like this. Ruined. Potentially forever, and the worst part is that you can’t even be mad about it. He’s been dreaming about becoming big in the movie industry since you were like 7 and dancing ballet at the studio everyday, so him getting big should be something to be happy about, right?

Only it isn’t. And not because he’s always busy and barely even texts back, not even because he never has time to hang out anymore, nor is it because he seems to always be in the other side of the world either filming another damn Marvel movie or any other movie, or promoting his work. No, all of those reasons were not enough to wreck your friendship. What finally did it was the fact that he became so full of himself that you couldn’t stand hearing him talking when you did get to see him. He’s kind of an asshole now.

So you snapped. You were out in a pub with him, Harrison, the twins and a couple of your friends, Tom was telling you about how unacceptable it was that his manager tried to get him, to spend a night in LA in a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star or a damn Airbnb apartment, how he was tired of this neglecting behaviour from a person that eats from the 5% of his paycheck, and you lost it.

You may be bestfriends with this guy, but you definetely didn’t have the same economical status, and you have to work a normal job like everybody else, you don’t get 5 star hotels ever, for gods sake you don’t even get to travel that often, the only time you’ve been out of the country was when Tom took you to Atlanta to do some reshoots back when the first Spider-Man happened, so you made well sure to tell him he was behaving like a brat, posh and whiny rich kid. And he didn’t like it, so he called you a jealous uptight bitch that’s bitter because an ankle injury killed off her career, which was a low blow. So you stormed out of the place.

It was a pretty public scene and there were a few videos from different angles of nearby tables at the pub and a few pictures of both of you screaming at each other, and of you getting out of the place while fuming, and of Tom getting his car a driving off while visibly pissed. It’s been the story of the moment (at least in your life). All your social media was full of Tom’s fans calling you a fake friend, a bitch, a brat, whore, slut… some even sent death threats, which was a bit disturbing, but not surprising.

Of course Tom wasn’t helping at all either, he stopped following you, but didn’t block you so you could see him liking all the rude messages directed to you, and he was being very very vocal about the importance of having real friends and how loyalty is a very important thing and how he had to learn that the hard way very recently. So yeah, like a whiny rich boy.

You were scrolling down instagram, trying to focus on something else, but the notifications were still blowing with comments and tags on rude posts, so decided enough was enough and you started an Instagram Live, not even 1 minute in and you already had a handful of people watching and commenting snake emojis and very strong language words, but you ignored it as you started talking.

“Hello everyone, thanks for all the lovely wishes, I apreciate them a lot, you don’t wanna know. So, I’m here because, since I don’t go around doing interviews for a job, I have to find an outlet to let out my side of the story, because all stories have more than one side and one shouldn’t decide on a side unless you’ve heard all sides of it- the story, I mean.

Tom and I became best friends since day one of us meeting, that was 16 years ago, we were always inseparable and I always knew I had someone to rely on and he had someone to rely on in me. Pretty strong bond. I always knew he wanted to be an actor, the best actor he could be, and I always knew he would make it, because he’s always been so incredibly talented and dedicated and he was very determined, so when he finally got his big chance being casted as Spider-Man I was the first one to celebrate him. As his fame and recognition started growing, he started hanging out with a lot more celebrities and he started picking up on personality traits that aren’t that cool, but at the beggining it was so minimal that I’d just ignore it.

By the time he was filming Far from Home, I think, he was a full on movie star. Every place we’d go, a few cameras would follow and fans would show up, and he loved putting on a show for everyone, to the point where he’d ignore anyone that’s with him. But that’s no the worst part. I can forgive him for having an ego, we all have one, some are bigger than others and that’s cool, but what’s not cool is being condescending to the people who work with or for you. I dont’t believe in people from first or second class, for me everyone is equal and everyone’s work is just as dignified and worthy as anyone else’s, that’s why I finally lost my respect for Tom, because he started treating people that don’t have the same level of privilege as him like they’re less than him. That’s not the way we were raised, those are not the values that my best friend has and I know it’s all because of all the media attention he has.

You all give everything to him in a silver platter, so he now became a bratty movie star, another self centered celebrity that feels entitled. So congratulations. You have created a celebrity, but you have wrecked a human being inside. And I don’t feel like I deserved to be attacked this way for not wanting to put up with being belittled and treated like a peasant. Thanks.”

You finished the live and you broke crying, of course. It hurts to know that your best friend is no longer, that you’re never gonna have all those amazing midnight adventures. Like when you escaped from your houses at 15 to go to that crazy party all the school was attending but your mothers wouldn’t let you go. You remember how you got drunk after just one or two beers and ended up walking and giggling back home at 3am. You were in so much trouble the next day.

Or when he got casted as Peter Parker and you were so happy that you spent the whole night laying in his bed talking about all the hard work you both had done to make your dreams come true. That night he told you how he was proud of you for working so hard on your dancing career and how you were his favourite dancer ever. And you told him that you always knew he’d make it. You promised each other to always be there for the other.

He was the first to arrive to the hospital when you had the accident onstage that ended your career, he held you on those long nights when you’d cry and cry, he was there when you were angry at the world for not letting you have your dream. He helped through everything and never left your side until you were back on your feet and you had a new plan for your life.

He’s not here now though. He’s the one holding the gun on your back and you were the one that threw the first punch. You feel guilty. You ruined everything. You should’ve told him that he shouldn’t behave that way. Of all people, it should’ve been you holding his feet on the ground, and now it all went to shit because of you. It’s all your fault and maybe you do deserve the furious fans and the creepy reporters jumping on you every now and then, and maybe you deserve all those messages because maybe you were a fake friend.

You really don’t have the evergy to get out of bed for the days that followed. It could’ve been just two days, or a week, maybe even months for all you knew; but you stayed in bed, you would cry, eat and sleep and nothing more. Your phone was in some unknown place of your house, you hadn’t even attempted to find it and maybe it ran out of battery long ago, but who cares? definetely not you. You were walking around in your pajamas, looking for ice cream in your freezer or maybe some chocolate bars, or chips… or whatever came to view first, but you were interrupted by the ring of your doorbell and then a knock on your door, you thought about ignoring it, but then they knocked again so you brought yourself to the door and opened it.

You froze when you saw Tom on the other side of your door, looking probably just as destroyed as you do, red puffy eyes, messy hair, he was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, an unusual look since now he’s always trying to look his absolute best. This guy in front of you resembled your best friend since childhood more than any of the high fashion versions of Tom, but it still ached in your heart that he was in this state in your front door unannounced.

“Tom… w-what are you doing h-here?”

“I uh… read a rumor and I needed to see it wasn’t true.”

“What?” You suddenly feel your blood boiling. The only reason he came was because of some rumor he read, he doesn’t regret anything, he doesn’t miss you, he just wants to see if some stupid rumor is true. You go to close the door in his face but he pushes the door.

“You wanna know what it was? Y/N listen to me, please!” You try to push harder, but he’s way stronger than you are so you give in and let him in, but the frown never leaves your face and you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m listening.” You really don’t want to get your guard down, but the way Tom is looking at you right now makes it really hard. He looks at you the way one looks at a youth treasure you found after years of longing. The way you look at a flower that grows against all odds in the middle of a desserted field. And it’s making you feel very aware of him. You notice how the bags under his eyes are deeper than ever, his skin doesn’t look as flawless and polished as it did the last time you saw him, you can even see some spots around his forehead, you notice how he’s still unable to tame that eyebrow and how they also look a little unplucked, you can also see the tarce of a beard, the kind that tells you that maybe he didn’t shave this morning and even the day before that, and his hair is not only messier but it’s also longer. And it’s grounding to see him look so human, vulnerable and real right in front of you.

“There were some rumors going around that you might’ve… that you maybe… y-you had..”  For some reason he was unable to look you in the eye, and every time he tried to speak he’d take a small step closer to you. “That you maybe had… comitted… suicide…”

You froze where you stood, and maybe your jaw fell slack, and maybe you even stopped breathing, where the fuck did he read that? What the actual fuck are people saying? your blood started boiling with rage, not even at Tom anymore, but at the world, why does everyone suddenly feel entitled to say those terrible things and why? Because you haven’t been on social media in a long time? People seriously need to understand that other people exist outside the internet and the have lives outside social media.

“I seriously hate people. Well… here I am, alive and well, is that everything?” you ask as you raise a brow, expecting him to say something else, but he looks at you taken a back, he’s at a loss of words because he was expecting this to fix things.

“Umh… yeah?”

“Okay then, I’ll walk you to the door.” You say flatly and start making your way back to your front door.

“Y/N wait… I do need to say something else” He grabs you by the wrist and turns you around, you end up mere inches away from him, his hand still holding you. His gaze roams all over your face, he looks down at your lips while licking his, but then he looks up to your eyes. “I’m sorry. About everything. I was a dick, and maybe I am an idiot for realizing I don’t want to lose you until I read those terrible things and it hurt as hell to even imagine a world without you in it. I don’t want to live the rest of my life without your surprise texts when I’m away filming, or your weird gif replies, or our film nights and crazy getaways. You’re the best friend that I have. And I love you, Y/N. I really, really do, and I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that to you.” If this had happened a few months ago, you would have kissed him already. You loved him for such a long time, it almost hurt you, you had all those feelings for him stored inside you and at times it felt like they couldn’t fit anymore and you’d just explode, but that changed. You changed. And so did he.

“I accept your apology, Tom.” you took a long pause before speaking again, and you could see in Tom’s eyes that it was killing him to wait, every second feeling longer than the previous, until you spoke again. “But it’s gonna take a lot more than that to fix our friendship. I’m sorry I don’t share your feelings, but I received death threats over twitter, so many hate comments coming to me everyday… and you were liking them, encouraging people to keep attacking me! You expect me to just forget about that and act like it never happened? And you expect me to just throw myself at your arms and live happily ever after? It really doesn’t work like that, Tom. You have to go now.” He stayed looking at you for a moment, and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but your own heart was breaking aswell. Maybe you could fix this, but it would take more than this, and right now you could not see him in your apartment.

“Please leave Tom” Your voice was just a pleading whisper at this point, but Tom did let go of your wrist and you sighed when you felt the cold breeze hit the skin where his hand had been. He walked past you and opened the door, taking one last look at you as one single tear fell from your eyes. And the door closed.

---

Tagging a few people that might be interested so it doesn’t flop :)

@caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd

[perfectlyloudbouquet2]

Okay, so I have a rule: don’t judge things until you’ve tried it yourself.  So, because I didn’t like a lot of the choices made in Descendants 3, I wrote my own version.

Descendants 3: A New Beginning

It’s a new school year.  The school is more integrated w/ Villain kids and Auradon kids, but it’s still 1 VK to every 10 AKs.  The OG VKs have graduated.  Mal is in training with the Blue Fairy to be Queen.  Evie is an assistant to 3 fashion designers (the fairies from Sleeping Beauty).  Carlos is a vet’s assistant (the dad from 101 Dalmations).  Jay is a coach for Auradon Prep.  The opening song shows all of this :

the new VKs (including Dizzy) looking outnumbered by AKs in class

Mal entering a room labeled ‘Queen Prep’ and being taught by Blue Fairy (Mal is unhappy and clearly terrible at it)

Evie looking happy and being shown around a boutique by the 3 fairies

Carlos looking happy and wearing a vet lanyard nametag

Jay in a coaching uniform in front of a mirror looking happy

Mal is mentally distant and sad because she’s worried about Uma, she feels like her Queen Prep classes just highlight how much she doesn’t fit, and she’s still not sure what ‘home’ means for her.  Ben and Evie are worried about her because she’s so distracted and sad.

Jay is excited to show up to his first day as coach.  The head coach (Phil from Hercules) introduces him to his team: the first-year Auradon Prep class (a group of 14 year olds).  Dizzy’s a part of the group.  They’re all terrible.  Jay is no longer excited.

Evie admits she’s worried about her and Mal drifting apart in their adult lives.  Mal’s royal family will replace her and the VKs and Mal will become a different person.  She’s also stressed because Doug is distant as well and she doesn’t know why.  She sings a song that reflects this and parallels ‘Space Between’ from D2.

Ben proposes to Mal in front of a crowd, something that enrages Audrey.  She’s mad because she was next in line to be queen until Mal swooped in.  She starts formulating a plan.

Audrey approaches Mal and, acting friendly, tells her she wants to see where Auradon’s new queen came from.  Mal, who is excited to have an excuse to visit the Isle, agrees to take Audrey on her motorbike.

Evie sees Mal and Audrey leave together and is worried Mal is already replacing her.  She tries to talk to Doug about it, but he’s clearly avoiding her for some reason, which makes her sad.

Over time (and through song), Jay teaches the kids how to do better at their sport (old school soccer?  The sport from D1?).  He teaches them how to work together to get the ball away from the person who has it.  He shares the stuff about teamwork that he’s learned over the past two movies.

Mal and Audrey arrive at the Isle and Audrey realizes how bad things are.  She shows some kindness and empathy by giving money to some begging kids and helping other kids with their jobs.  Mal sees this and realizes Audrey isn’t too bad when she’s not just thinking about herself.  Suddenly, some kids steal Audrey’s jacket.  Remembering her anger at Mal (and all VKs), Audrey sneaks away from her and looks for someone to help her with her evil plan.  She’s complaining out loud about how, thanks to Mal, she doesn’t fit in at the Isle OR at Auradon (unknowingly paralleling Mal’s complaints).

Uma appears out of the water and pulls a ‘You don’t like Ben as a ruler?  You don’t like Mal at all?  You want to rule the world?  Let’s team up.”  Uma says she’ll help her IF she promises to bring down the barrier when they rule Auradon together.  Audrey agrees, but she’s definitely lying.

Audrey and Uma reveal they’re working together and steal Mal’s bike to get to Auradon, stranding her on the Isle (the irony of which makes Uma especially gleeful).  The pair have an AMAZING VILLAIN DUET and go off to the museum to steal the spellbook and Maleficent’s staff.

Evie is stressed that Mal is ignoring her texts.  She goes to Ben, who’s having an intense conversation with Doug.  Doug makes an excuse to leave when Evie shows up.  Evie tries to push that aside and tells Ben about Mal.  He agrees that Mal has been gone for longer than she should have been.  Ben, Evie, Carlos, and Jay join up to go get Mal.  Dizzy catches them leaving and she admits she’s been feeling homesick.  They let her tag along.

When they all reach the Isle, Mal explains what happened with Uma and Audrey.  When they get back, EVERYONE is magicked into loving Uma and Audrey as rulers, something that doesn’t affect them because they were on the Isle.  Ben immediately recognizes this as the spell he was under (TWICE!), so he goes to pull water from the enchanted lake.

Meanwhile, Carlos goes and uses True Love’s Kiss on Jane and Evie uses TLK on Doug.  (Song?)

The group rejoins and Ben realizes they can’t just bring everyone in Auradon down to the lake.  Evie says she can make an invention (a water cycle machine) to make the lake water rain down onto Auradon.  She and Doug can build it, but it’ll take time.  In the meantime, they need to stop whatever Audrey and Uma’s next steps are.

Audrey and Uma are in the castle and they’re arguing over who outranks who.  Audrey admits she’s never going to bring down the barrier when she’s a ruler.  She’ll toss all the VKs out, including Uma.  Uma says she thought Mal was entitled and self-absorbed, but now she sees that Audrey is way worse.  They have another song: a reprise of their first song, but with ironic callbacks to the ‘teamwork’-y things they’d said before.

While they’re distracted, Carlos gets Dude (his dog) to fetch the spellbook and sics all the animals from his vet job onto Uma and Audrey to slow them down.  He runs away and passes the book off to Jay.

Back at the lake, Evie and Doug are working on the machine.  Evie finally directly asks him why he’s been so distant.  Doug reveals that he’s been planning on proposing to her, but he’s really nervous he’ll mess it up and he was asking Ben for help.  Now he’s worried he’s ruined things because Evie deserves a perfect proposal and he’s spoiled it.  Evie tells him she loves him and any proposal is good for her because it means they’ll be together forever.

Jay finds his team and breaks the spell on Dizzy.  The two of them work to individually break the spell on the rest of the team.

When Uma and Audrey escape the animals, they exit the castle to see Mal, Ben, Carlos, Jay, and Jay’s team of children.  They mock the group, but Jay’s team use the teamwork they learned earlier to get Maleficent's staff away from Audrey.  Uma uses a spell she remembered to sic all of Auradon against the good guys.  The people start surrounding them, acting like mindless zombies, and start dragging them away from Audrey and Uma.

Suddenly, it starts to rain!  The spell breaks!

Feeling defeat nipping at their heels, Uma and Audrey run away.  The good guys chase after them.  Uma and Audrey are nearly caught by angry townsfolk at every turn and get cornered into climbing the stairs.  They end up on the roof (at night in the rain).

The VKs, who are close behind, block the door to get back down.  Realizing the jig is up, Uma and Audrey bemoan their fate, explaining why they were upset enough to curse everyone in the first place.

Mal stops the mob and says she understands: “Not like I haven’t cast a few curses of my own”.  She apologizes for how she’s been treating them and says she realizes the integration for Auradon of the VKs has been slower than she would like it to be.  It’s also been a mostly one-way street.  It’s not like the royals have been trying to beautify or pour resources into the Isle.

MAL

(to Uma)

I promise, bringing down the barrier, joining the Isle and Auradon, and helping make the Isle a better place will be my first task as -

(seeing Audrey looking away angrily)

You know what?  I don’t want to be queen.

[Gasps, shock.]

BEN

What?

UMA/AUDREY

What?

MAL

I never wanted to be queen.  I’m terrible at it!

(to Ben)

Ben.  I love you.  But . . . I think Audrey should be the queen.

AUDREY

What?!

UMA

You’re not serious.

MAL

She’s the one who’s been trained for it from childhood!

(to Audrey)

Audrey, you saw the Isle.  It’s in bad shape.  They need you.  You can help them all.

CARLOS

Mal, Audrey may not be the best choice for this.

JAY

She doesn’t care about anyone but herself!

MAL

She does.  There’s a different side to her.  I’ve seen it.

[Audrey looks like she’s thinking about it.  Evie waves, getting her attention.]

EVIE

If you need help with ideas for beautifying the Isle, I can help.  I’ve been a fashion consultant for a whole month now.  It’s kind of my speciality.

AUDREY

(disbelieving; quietly)

Really?

[Mal takes Evie’s hand, grinning.]

MAL

And Audrey being queen means I could spend more time with my family.

[Evie looks elated that she’s not losing her best friend.]

BEN

Wait, Mal.  I don’t love Audrey.

(to Audrey)

No offense.

AUDREY

No, it’s fine.  I don’t like you either.

(Ben frowns)

Like that.

MAL

Is it possible you and I could still be married and you could be king, but Audrey could still be queen?

BEN

(considers it)

It’s never been done before.

MAL

(gestures to the VKs)

Look at us!  These past few years have been pretty full of things we’ve never done before.

BEN

(considering it)

Okay.  We could do that.

AUDREY

On one condition.

CARLOS

She’s not even queen yet and she’s already making demands?

[Jay elbows him.]

AUDREY

Uma gets to be my co-queen.

[Uma looks surprised.]

BEN

I don’t think ‘co-queen’ is a real -

[Mal puts a hand on her chest.]

MAL

Let her finish.

AUDREY

Uma’s the one who had the idea to destroy the barrier in the first place.  She’s always put her people first.  Because that’s what they are.  Her people.

[Audrey puts out a hand.  Uma considers it, then takes it.]

UMA

Deal.  I mean, let’s be real.  You need me.  Who else is going to keep you in line?

[Laughter.  Warm glances all around.  The rain stops and the sun starts to come out.]

We cut to months later.  The school year is over.  Doug and Evie are clearly engaged.  Everyone is gathered for the crowning ceremony for Uma and Audrey.  Everyone claps for them.  The audience is full of VKs and Auradon kids in a much more even balance.  It’s a little hard to tell who is a VK and who is an AK.

There’s a final number where they all sing and celebrate.  The final shot shows the bridge between the Isle and Auradon, which is permanently up to join the two lands.

THE END

[aelinbitch-archive]

unpopular opinion: i don’t like rowan/rowaelin. i’m not here to convince u to unstan lol ppl are allowed to like/dislike things w/o feeling bad about it omg but i hate that some rowan stans are so insensitive when it comes to those who don’t like him! they’re so thirsty for him that they condemn anyone who doesn’t stan him & then excuse his problematic/lowkey triggering actions bc he’s hot and it’s gross. AGAIN not saying ppl can’t like rowan it’s ok lol but it’s more about some stan’s behavior

That’s totally fair my angel. I dislike the vibe that some people are locked out of the fandom for not being a cheerleader for every aspect of the series, and I hope that my followers/mutuals know that if they dislike stuff I like, or like stuff I dislike, expressing their opinions regarding that won’t ever cause me to cut them off (unless it’s like, some truly gross shit, which disliking rowaelin isn’t). 

Also I have to say, even tho I do like rowaelin, I understand where you’re coming from about people excusing his actions because he’s hot. I’ve toooooootally seen that. And I’ll just be 100% honest - no shade to anyone, but some of the rowaelin content on this website disturbs me a little bit, in terms what’s considered hot/romantic/acceptable when writing or depicting them in art. I’ve seen some weird stuff defended as hot or even just “not that bad.” Which isn’t necessarily a problem with canon, but your ask was more about stans anyway, so yeah. 

A while ago I actually wrote rowaelin meta in response to some other peeps (which was more about Aelin in relation to Rowaelin and how she’s included or not included in discussions of the ship, but it has some thoughts relevant to this ask) so I’m gonna just copy and paste what I wrote below and feel free to read if u want. (It’s like very overdramatic and fiery lmao but anyway). 

I agree with a lot of this, but (at risk of derailing ms aelinapologist’s amazing post) I do have a few things to say, which are

1. OP took two whole paragraphs at the beginning of her post to say that the point wasn’t to discourse about rowaelin being abuse or not abuse, it was to talk about how the conversations centering around said abuse consistently display a disturbing lack of empathy for the character who should be the main concern of the debate. So I just find it a bit funny/odd that the replies (including a portion of the one I’m about to make, I admit that) have been like “Yeah great post! And now to discourse about Rowaelin-” but I digress.

2. I have consistently loved reading about Rowan and Aelin and they’re one of my favorite fictional couples. So nothing I’m about to say is intended to be like “GOTCHA they suck and you suck for liking them!!!” Because I like them as well. A lot. And in addition, nothing about this reblog is intended to be shady or confrontational in any way shape or form. I just think this is a great and very needed discussion I’d like to contribute to, so here goes.

3. Even if we look at HoF alone and ignore how things play out later: yes, they are both mean to one another, yes, they are both in a dark place and end up having a mutually positive effect on one another (so I definitely agree that, at least for HoF alone, it’s not a “douchey guy changes for the heroine story”) but. There IS still a power imbalance. I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to say “they were both bad The End” without also bringing up the fact that Rowan is 300 years old and Aelin is 18, and that Rowan is training Aelin and is in a position that gives him a massive amount of control over her, and that he is stronger and more powerful than her physically, magically, and socially (he is a prince and legendary warrior, she is a AWOL teenage princess currently working as a scullery maid).

Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I really just don’t think that Aelin, a 17 y/o girl going through an unimaginably shitty time, being like “fuck you!!” to this 300 y/o jerk who doesn’t know shit about her is on the same level as aforementioned 300 y/o jerk hitting her, biting her, and telling her she would have been of more use to the world if she’d died when she was eight.

And in addition to that, we see that his behavior effects her a lot more than it effects him. When he verbally tears her down, we see her experience genuine and devastating despair and shame, whereas everything she does and says to him, no matter how snarky or outright cruel, is not having that same effect on him. People always seem to think they’re giving Aelin credit for being a Strong Woman™ by saying “she’s tough! she can handle it!” when in reality… we have evidence for the fact that she kinda can’t handle it. That the way he treats her in the beginning is slowly wearing her down and sending her deeper into a depressive state. And I don’t understand how it somehow reflects poorly on Aelin (or is even misogynist) to acknowledge this. Women, especially literal teenage girls, should not be measured by their tolerance for mistreatment.

All I really wish is that somewhere along the line we’d gotten a genuine apology from Rowan for this besides a throwaway line in KoA about regretting their “brawling.” And again, none of this is to say “see!! it IS abuse!!” it’s just to suggest that, even as an enemies to friends to lovers story, the “enemies” part was not exactly on a level playing field.

4. But with that being said, I could probably forgive the imbalance in their early relationship, mostly because their later relationship, as both friends and lovers, is so amazing and supportive in pretty much every way. And the great thing about enemies to FRIENDS to lovers, like you said, is that 1) none of the assholery occurred during any kind of romantic or sexual relationship or a transition into one, so it was sort of “fair and square” in that way, and 2) they had the opportunity form a solid, platonic foundation of trust and caring before they crossed into the lover territory.

Aaaaaaaaaand then Sarah did a retcon job on HoF which negated… pretty much all of that. I can totally be down with “good old fashioned mutual hatred thaws into caring which grows into love” but once we start hearing shit like “‘Sometimes, you’d be sleeping beside me at Mistward, and it’d take all my concentration not to lean over and bite them. Bite you all over’” and “‘That was the first time I really lost control around you, you know. I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted… So good. I hated you for it’”……. hhhhhhhhhhh.

I can’t think of many arguments for this NOT contributing at least a little to the “he’s mean because he loves you (and stick it out because someday he’ll figure it out)” trope. And while it might be a bit different because Aelin was quite mean as well, her behavior was just… meanness. Not some sort of weird outlet for repressed sexual attraction/love. I guess I just get flashbacks of “No sweetie, that boy in your class kicks your desk, pulls your hair, and calls you names because he likes you and doesn’t know how to express it.”

And I think this decision on Sarah’s part to go back and say he was into her all along is 1) a result of the mating bond thing she’s so fond of and 2) kind of a panicked backpedalling to the backlash she might have gotten over Rowan’s behavior in HoF? Which is…. so ironic because she made it SO much worse. In my humble opinion, she should have just doubled down on what she originally wrote as enemies-friends-lovers (and had Rowan bring up his early behavior and apologize in some way), and the problem would have been solved. And while I personally feel that I can recognize this for what it is - a shitty retcon - and enjoy the relationship despite it, I don’t think we should talk over people for whom this is a deal-breaker for the ship.

5. I don’t think about all of this and have the reaction that so many “anti tog” people seem to have of “FUCK Rowan he’s ABUSIVE and PREDATORY and I wish he was DEAD!!!” I think there are things to criticize about his behavior and about the way Sarah decided to spin their relationship, but they have had many great moments, especially in the later books, and I don’t think I or anyone else is “shipping abuse” by enjoying that. All of this is just to emphasize how, in OP’s very succinct words, “your inalienable right to enjoy two characters’ dynamic does not outweigh the right to criticise it.” Because there ARE valid things to criticize, and we as Rowaelin shippers (lol.) need to be careful not to conflate ugly hatred with valid criticism when we speak over it.

And because there IS so much ugly hatred for Aelin and her relationship with Rowan on this website, I completely understand why there’s a kind of knee-jerk reaction of jumping to defense of this ship we love. But that impulse, quite frankly, means nothing to me if defense of Rowaelin includes the erasure of Aelin’s canonical experiences. And maybe this is wacky and controversial, but I’m pretty sure we can express our enjoyment of Rowaelin AND keep Aelin as an individual from being swept under the rug.  

6. More than saying any of that what I really really want to do (and have been trying to do in the previous paragraphs, but maybe unsuccessfully) is bring the conversation back to OP’s original point which was not “abuse!” or “not abuse!” but about how the ways in which we discuss “abuse or not abuse” often includes a stomach-turning lack of concern for Aelin and some frustratingly reductive arguments. And somehow I have the sneaking suspicion that Rowaelin shippers are reading this post and missing the point, which that this is happening on BOTH sides of the argument.

Everyone is perfectly entitled to ship Rowaelin and argue their opinion about its merits or lack thereof, but when we cover our ears and say “she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too la la la la la la la” that’s completely ignoring the genuine pain that she did experience in HoF and the power imbalance that she was subjected to, no matter whether or not we personally feel that it was sufficiently rectified in later books.

And I see this ALL THE TIME, in both the fandom and “anti-fandom”, and I’m honest to god quite sick of it. I’m sick of the willful ignorance of a teenage girl’s pain in order to further an agenda. Yes, it’s more stomach-turning when the agenda is to prove what an evil bitch she is or whatever, but it’s not excusable if your agenda is to prove Rowaelin is great, either! And I don’t understand why we have to throw all nuance out the window and ignore how Dorian hurt her, ignore how Chaol hurt her, ignore how Rowan hurt her, fucking hell, ignore how SAM hurt her, just so we can make our arguments! Because as much as the antis love to scream about “WHAT MESSAGE IS THIS TERRIBLE SHIP SENDING THE TINY GIRL-CHILDREN WHO READ THE BOOKS???” it’s also like, what kind of message is our ongoing discussion of it sending by sweeping a teenage girl’s experiences under the rug when we argue about her relationships?

And like OP said, what have we even got to show for it? No conclusion has been reached, nothing has been achieved besides valuing a romance (or the hatred of that romance and preference for a different romance) over individual characters, namely an individual character who happens to be a teenage girl that has suffered an ungoldy amount - suffered, sometimes, at the hands of male characters we like.

In conclusion, the mass allergy everyone seems to have to giving a shit about Aelin unless its to further their agenda is sickening. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to hear about how poor Manon’s character was “ruined” by Manorian (although not directly by DORIAN, of course, because apparently Saint Haviliard can do no wrong) I’d have enough money to buy a lamborghini and drive it off a cliff like I wish I could every time I hear someone’s terrible hot take about how Aelin is complicit in her own alleged abuse. Yet somehow I’ve never heard anyone complain about the damage done to Aelin’s character by any of the male characters, including Rowan. It’s never “Rowan ruined Aelin’s character!!” it’s “Rowaelin sucks and so does Aelin.” In fact, one of the REASONS Aelin sucks in the first place IS Rowan/Rowaelin! What a great implicit message to send to people reading your “critiques”: if you are annoying and #problematic enough, your suffering will be used against you and you will receive no sympathy for it. Cool!

And for other ships, too: it’s never “Chaol and Dorian, while at points a very good for Aelin, also caused her a lot of pain” it’s either “Chaol was right about Aelin in QoS and both he and Dorian are ruined because of her #chaorian” OR, from the fans, who, again, are not off the hook, “Chaol and Dorian and Aelin are BFFs forever #originaltrio.” And as a teenage girl myself, who loves and identifies with Aelin, who is more invested in her story than anyone else’s… I’m just tired. And more than a little appalled. And I wish we could do better.

[swanqueeneverafter]

After The Sunset, Pt.26

Enchanted Forest. (A lone rider makes his way through the forest. Coming to a stop in front of a cave, the rider dismounts and we see that it's Henry Swan-Mills. Securing his horse and then drawing his sword, Henry takes a deep breath before entering the cave.) Cave. (Walking further into the cave, Henry arrives at a dais, upon which lays a sleeping princess. Sheathing his sword, Henry approaches the dais.) Henry: "I knew I'd find you." (Just as he's about to kiss the princess, a large fire-breathing dragon reveals itself to him. The dragon roars and spews a stream of fire at Henry, which luckily he's able to avoid. Drawing his sword ready to attack, Henry braces himself. At that same moment, a young prince arrives, hurling his sword and killing the creature. Turning, Henry stares mutely at the prince.) Prince: “Don't worry. I got this.” (Walking towards the dais, the prince leans down and kisses the maiden, awakening her with True Love’s Kiss.) Princess: “You saved me. My hero. (Stepping off the dais, she notices the would-be savior:) Henry? What are you doing here?” Henry: “I, uh was in the neighborhood. Thought you could use another familiar face when you woke up.” Princess: “Well, thank you. I don't know what I would have done without your support. (The prince and princess walk off together:) Isn't he sweet? Like the brother I never had.” (Henry watches them leave while he stands alone.)

Enchanted Forest. (Exiting the cave, Henry touches the gash on his head and winces when he sees the blood.) Rumplestiltskin: (Standing beside the cave entrance:) “Some scars go more than skin deep. And I have a feeling that one goes right to the bone.” Henry: “Surprise, that story wasn’t mine, either.” Rumplestiltskin: "Apparently not. And that was what, the third princess so far?" Henry: "Fourth." Rumplestiltskin: "Ouch." Henry: (Sighs:) "Grandpa, I know you're only trying to help, but I think I'm done. I'm not in the mood for your games anymore." Rumplestiltskin: "Games? These aren't games, Dearie. These are possibilities. I brought you to this realm to help you find your story, you can't just quit after four abject failures. (Henry shakes his head:) Perhaps what you need is a different perspective." Henry: "What do you mean?" Rumplestiltskin: "Well, take your mother for instance. Regina didn't find her happy ending with your other mother until after she gave up her evil ways." Henry: "That's true..." Rumplestiltskin: "So maybe for this next story, you could try playing the villain?" Henry: "No, that's not who I want to be." Rumplestilskin: "Oh Henry, relax. This world isn't real. The people in it don't really exist, so you wouldn't actually be hurting anyone. Trust your grandpa, Henry. I can get you a happy beginning, middle, and an end. Beautiful princess. Sparkling castle. Anything you dream can be yours. All you have to do, is try it." Henry: (Considers:) "All right, but just once. Then we try something else." Rumplestiltskin: "Of course. Now, (Putting his hand around Henry's shoulder:) I think I know exactly where we should begin." Royal Castle. (Snow White awakens cradling Neal in her arms. Sitting up, she nudges David awake.) Snow White: "David." David: "Yeah, I'm okay." Hook: (Sits up:) "No. What happened? Where the blazes are we?" David: (Looking around:) "This is our palace." Snow White: "We're in the Enchanted Forest."

Jabberwocky: (Via a magic mirror:) "Well, you've got to admit, I've got panache." Hook: "There! That's the creature who was masquerading as Belle." Jabberwocky: (As the trio approach the mirror:) "Creature? How rude." David: "Who are you? Why have you done this?" Jabberwocky: "They call me the Jabberwocky, and I've done nothing to you. I've merely brought you home." Snow White: "Why are we here?" Jabberwocky: "Because the people need their leaders. Those ordinary, common folk that you relied upon to help you take back your kingdom from the Evil Queen. The same peasants you forgot about the moment you sat on your thrones." Hook: "What are you babbling about?" Jabberwocky: "Heroes. You and everyone else who identify themselves with that epithet are guilty of crimes against the masses. You allow yourselves to be built up in the eyes of those you claim to be fighting for, and yet once you find your happy endings, your heroics end as well. Leaving the rest of us to wallow in the muck, trapped in our own misery, never to escape." Snow White: "So we're to believe you're some sort of champion for the every man?" Jabberwocky: (Chuckles:) "By the time I'm done, every man, woman and child will be made equal. They will be able to determine their own destinies and not bow down to their so-called heroes." Wonderland. Mountain Top. (A robed Alice watches a similarly robed Drizella as she gathers the ingredients she needs.) Alice: "I'm not sure about this. Why do we need to cast a spell?" Drizella: "Oh, don't think of this as a spell. Spells can be used to harm people. Think of it as a cure. A cure to everyone's suffering. (Seeing that Alice is still unsure:) When you see the beauty of what we're doing, you won't mind the cost at all. We have everything we need. Let's begin. Hold out your hands. (Alice does and Drizella holds up a vial:) Old love. The blood of your brother. (Places the vial in Alice's hand. Holds up another vial:) New love. Blood from the woman with whom you wish to spend your life." Alice: "What? Robin? What do you know about Rob-" Drizella: "Hush. (Holds up the last vial:) Love betrayed. A lock of my sister's hair. She was killed by my mother in the name of hatred." Alice: (As Drizella places the last vial in her hands:) "So, what's supposed to happen? (The vials ignite into a swirling flame:) Am I meant to-" Drizella: "Simply do as you did before with the Dark One dagger. Raise your arms to the sky and send forth your Guardian powers into the night. Let it spread across all the realms far and wide and by morning, you will be free of your magic. Able to live a long, happy life with the one you love. Safe in the knowledge that your sacrifice has saved everyone." (Alice nods and, after a moment, begins to shape the flames in her hands before shooting a jet of fire into the sky. As a dark cloud forms and blankets the sky, turning day into night, Drizella looks up at it, laughing with glee.)

Tiana's Palace. (Tiana sits staring at her vanity mirror, an unreadable expression on her face.) Will: (Reclined on the plush cushions:) "Come to bed, Your Majesty." Tiana: (Turning in her chair to face him:) "Aren't you even a little concerned about your sister?" Will: "This again. (Sits up:) I've been concerned for Alice for more years than I can remember. After what she's been through, I think Alice is entitled to a little adventure every now and then." Tiana: "So why not take Robin with her? They clearly care deeply for one another." Will: (Moves towards her:) "Why does this bother you so much?" Tiana: "Because... should the day come that we were to marry, Alice would become my sister. The people already know their queen shares her bed with the Knave of hearts, what if something were to happen to Alice while she off on some adventure alone?" Will: (Scoffs:) "Kidnap and ransom, that's what you're worrying about? Alice can handle herself and there are far richer kingdoms to try and squeeze money from. Everyone knows you give most of the treasury money back to the people anyway." Tiana: "I suppose, but I still don't like the idea of her being alone." Will: "Well, having Robin with her wouldn't make much difference." Tiana: (Laughs:) "I wouldn't let her hear you say that. Robin's skills with the bow are second to none, or are you choosing to forget about that bet you lost?" Will: (Dismissively:) "It was a lucky shot." Tiana: "She shot an apple off your head from one hundred yards away. I don't think- (Suddenly, something catches Tiana's eye from the open window:) What is that?" Anastasia: (Entering:) "I think I might have the answer." Will: (Shocked:) "Anastasia..." Tiana: (Steps forward:) "How did you get in here?" Anastasia: "I was queen myself once, I know how to avoid guards." Will: "Anastasia, how did you-" Anastasia: "A combination of magic and science." Will: "So, Doctor Frankenstein, he... did this?" Anastasia: (Nods:) "Thanks to my mother's sacrifice." Tiana: (Cutting in:) "Not that I'm not pleased to see you alive and well, but you mentioned something about that angry looking cloud that's currently headed right for us?" Anastasia: "Yes. Whatever that thing is out there, I'm certain my sister is responsible for it." Will: "Drizella?" Anastasia: (Nods:) "My mother gave her life so that Drizella and I would be reunited. So that I could convince my sister to end whatever that cloud out there is going to bring down upon all of us." Tiana: "Okay, there's no time to waste, whatever that cloud is, it's bad news." Enchanted Forest. Royal Palace. (The Charmings and Hook are still trying to digest what's happened.) David: "So this thing, this Jabberwocky, she wants to turn the people against heroes?" Snow White: “How does she intend to do that?” Hook: "And, what the bloody hell is a Jabberwocky and why should we care what her plans are?" Zelena: (Entering, accompanied by Robin and several other citizens of Oz:) "I think I might know.” Snow White: “Zelena. Where have you been?” Zelena: “Oz. Robin and I, and a few hangers-on, only just made it out in one piece.” (Holds up Jefferson’s hat.) Snow White: (Gasps:) “The Mad Hatter's hat.” David: “W-Wasn't it destroyed?” Zelena: “Well, he was a hatter. He had multiples. Inside are portals to every realm. I used it to escape Oz.” David: “Escape? Why did you need to escape your own realm?” Zelena: “Look, there isn't much time. It's easier if I show you.” (Zelena places the hat on the ground and transports them inside.) Inside The Mad Hatter’s Hat. (They arrive to find a room surrounded by many doors, all leading to different realms.) Zelena: (Walking to the door leading to Oz:) “If you want to know what we were running from, take a gander.” (Pulls the curtain to reveal people and munchkins fighting in the streets.) Snow White: “They’re killing each other.” Zelena: “I can see that.” Robin: “When we left Oz, there was a huge thunder cloud darkening the sky. As soon as it came overhead-” Zelena: “It was apocalyptic, people started attacking each other.” Hook: “What’s causing this?” Zelena: “Your friend in the mirror, the Jabberwocky. She’s an ancient, immortal creature. She feeds off everyone’s fears, their hatred. Obviously she’s using that power to turn everyone against each other.” David: "But why now?" Zelena: (Shrugs:) "I heard tales of the Jabberwocky as a child. My father used to threaten that she'd come and get me if I didn't do my chores." Robin: "That's awful." Zelena: "Last anyone heard, she was trapped in a tower in Wonderland." Robin: "Like Alice?" Zelena: (Nods:) "Only in this case, the Jabberwocky was never meant to be freed." Hook: "Well someone clearly ignored that decree and released her anyway. The question is how do we stop her?" Zelena: "That's the tricky part. To defeat an immortal we need an immortal, and now that Rumple's no longer the Dark One..." David: "There's no one left to stop her." Snow White: "Zelena, isn’t there some counter spell you can use to slow that cloud down? Like the potion Regina made to counteract the Black Fairy’s curse?" Zelena: "It's possible, but it won’t buy us much time. The fact is, and I can’t believe I’m admitting this; my magic alone won’t be enough. We need something much stronger.” Hook: “Like Emma and Regina’s combined magic?” Zelena: “Precisely. Only trouble is, with the people baying for our blood, we're stuck here and the lovebirds have just flown three thousand miles away.”

The Land Without Magic. Present. Paris. (Emma stands sipping her drink at the poolside bar when she turns to see her wife stepping out of the pool. As if suddenly in slow motion, Emma watches Regina rise from the water, climbing the steps while never taking her eyes from her intended target. The brunette simply stands there for a moment to allow Emma to watch the water cascade down her body, causing the blonde woman to miss her mouth with her straw several times. Smiling, Regina returns to her sun lounger, knowing full well her wife is watching every move she makes in her white, two-piece bathing suit. Shaken from her stupor by the sounds coming from the straw in her now empty glass, Emma gets to her feet and walks over to join Regina.) Emma: (Approaching:) "I appreciate a woman who knows how to make an entrance. Are you staying at the hotel?" Regina: (Playing along:) "Yes I am. How about you, what brings you to Paris, business or pleasure?" Emma: "Hopefully a bit of both. May I sit?" Regina: "Please." (Emma takes a seat on the sun lounger opposite.) Emma: "I'm Trixie." Regina: (Smirks, thinks:) "I'm Lola. (They share a smile, and Regina continues their game:) It takes forever to get a drink. There's only one waitress." Emma: "I can go to the bar." Regina: "Oh, don't go. I mean, you just got here." Emma: "Hm. So tell me, Lola, what do you do for a living?" Regina: "I'm in sales." Emma: "Sales, how intentionally vague of you." Regina: (Smiles:) "I like to keep things close to my chest." Emma: "I can certainly see why. I like your outfit." Regina: "Thank you. Actually this is my second favourite outfit." Emma: "Oh yeah?" Regina: "I had a first favourite, but it got ruined and I had to get rid of it." Emma: "What happened to it?" Regina: "It got torn from my body." Emma: "Really? How did that happen?" Regina: "My wife got overzealous." Emma: "Your wife? She sounds intense." Regina: "She has her moments." Emma: "Well it's a shame she's not here, I'd like to meet her." Regina: "We could wait for her in my room if you want?" Emma: (Chuckles:) "Wow, already?" Regina: (Winces:) "Too soon? This is your game, I've never played before." Emma: "Shh, no it's fine. Keep going. (Gets back into character:) I'd love to wait in your room with you." Regina: "On second thought, maybe we shouldn't. I mean, I don't even know you." Emma: "Well then get to know me. Ask me what I do for a living." Regina: "All right, what do you do for a living, Trixie?" Emma: "I'm a bounty hunter." Regina: "A b-bounty hunter?" Emma: "Mhmm. I track down bad people and bring them to justice." Regina: "That sounds dangerous." Emma: "It can be, but it has its perks too." Regina: "Such as?" Emma: "Well, there's this one person I've been tracking for a long time. She's the worst of the worst. They call her the Evil Queen." Regina: "Hm. She sounds awful." Emma: "Yeah, that's what most people believe. But I have a different theory." Regina: "You do?" Emma: "Mm. I think she's not as bad as they say. I think she just needs someone to help turn her life around. And I think, she's siting next to me right now." Regina: "Oh, Trixie, please you have to understand, I-" Emma: "Shh, I know. It turns out, I'm not a very good bounty hunter." Regina: "Y-you're not?" Emma: (Shakes her head:) "No, I keep falling for their sob stories and let them go." Regina: "You sound as if you have a heart of gold." Emma: "Well, I'm not that easy. I'd have to be convinced. (Taking Regina's hand:) Why don't you come with me up to your room, and we'll see if you can give me a compelling reason to let you go." (Regina smiles and allows herself to be helped to her feet. Once she reaches her full height, they kiss.) Regina: (Their lips part but remain tantalizingly close:) "How was that?" Emma: "Mm, that... was a very good opening argument." Regina: "Trust me, Trixie, by the time I finish convincing you, you'll never want to let me go." (With that, Regina takes Emma's hand and leads them away from the poolside.) Wonderland. (Tiana, Anastasia and Will walk through the forest towards the source of the dark cloud spreading across the sky.) Will: "The wind is carrying the cloud away from here, but it won't be long before the entire sky is blacked out." Anastasia: (Lagging behind:) "Must we walk directly in the mud?” Tiana: “What's the matter, Queen? Or is it only your hands you don't mind getting dirty?” Anastasia: “Will, you should really teach your girlfriend some manners before someone else does.” (The group continue walking.) Will: “Tiana, are you all right?” Tiana: “Yes, I'm fine.” Will: “Are you sure?” Tiana: “Of course I am.” Will: (Glancing back at Anastasia:) “Look, Ana and I, we’re just friends. There’s never been anything more to it than that.” Tiana: (Scoffs:) “I’m not jealous, Will. I just don’t trust why she’s here. Before she died, the Red Queen wasn’t exactly known for her love of the people.” Will: “That was the Queen of Hearts’ influence. Trust me, before Cora got her claws into her, Anastasia was one of the sweetest, kindest people you could ever hope to meet.” Tiana: “Well, I’ll take your word for it. For now.” (They walk by a small village which looks to have been attacked.) Will: "Looks like this place has been abandoned." Tiana: "And no wonder. (Points to debris on the ground:) It looks as though something took a bite out of this wall." Naveen: (Approaching, spear in hand:) “Not exactly a mouth you'd want to kiss, now, is it?” Will: (Stepping between Tiana and Naveen:) “Who are you?” Naveen: “My shiny coat and my sharp spear don't give it away? I'm the hero who's going to kill this beast of a gator.” Tiana: “Then you're even stupider than you look, because whatever attacked this dock is too big to be any gator.” Naveen: “You don't have to believe me. In fact, it's probably best if you and your friends run along.” Tiana: “If anyone is running along, it is you.” Naveen: “Fiery. Whew, I like that. You remind me of someone. Oh, myself.” Will: “You'd do best to cut the quips. This is the queen of the kingdom you're talking to.” Naveen: “Allow me to introduce myself. (Bows:) Prince Naveen of Maladonia, at your service.” Tiana: “Wait, you're really a prince?” Naveen: “I've been tracking this fearsome beast across the entire realm. My enchanted spear is the only weapon strong enough to kill it.” Tiana: (To Will:) “Now he is bragging about his enchanted spear.” Will: “You know what? Where's the harm in bringing him? We can always use him as bait.” Tiana: “And I'll enjoy saving his life and showing him what a real hero is like. For now, you can accompany her highness back there.”

(Tiana turns back to look for Anastasia but sees she’s nowhere to be found.) Tiana: “Will.” Will: “What?” Tiana: “Where’s Anastasia?” Will: “I don't know.” Tiana: “She was right behind us.” Elsewhere In The Forest. (A group of villagers huddle in a circle as one man holds something skyward.) Village Leader: "One diamond pin! (Holds up another item:) One ring, looks like rubies! This'll feed us for months. (The villagers cheer:) The question is what do we do with her?” (Anastasia is revealed to be sat in the middle of the circle, dazed.) Anastasia: “Where am I? Who are you people?” Village Leader: “You people? Did you hear that? ‘You people.’” Anastasia: (Being pulled to her feet:) “Don't you know who I am?!” Village Woman: “Why do you think we hijacked you?” Village Leader: “Of course we know who you are, or, rather, who you used to be. You abandoned us! You took our harvests, let terrifying creatures take over our fields. You're the reason we're hungry. You're the reason we're suffering. And now you, darling, will be the one to suffer.” (The villagers converge upon her.)

Inside The Mad Hatter's Hat. (The room has filled considerably, leaders from all realms gathered together.) Snow White: "I saw someone from Arendelle just now. They still had snow on their shoulders." David: "What? How far is this nightmare spreading?" Jasmine: (Arriving with Zelena and Aladdin:) “Far.” Snow White: “Jasmine, Aladdin?” Aladdin: “It hit Agrabah, whatever it is.” Jasmine: “We barely got our people out. What's going on?” Snow White: “The Jabberwocky is spreading fear across all the realms.” David: “The black cloud that’s filling the sky is somehow feeding on people’s hatred. The more it feeds, the stronger it gets." Robin: “We need to get back there and stop all this.” Aladdin: “What about the portal we just came through, the hat?” Zelena: “I travelled to each realm and gathered us all in one place so that there’d be strength in numbers. We need to stick together until we come up with a plan.” Snow White: “Well we can’t stay in here much longer, there’s not enough room.” (Zelena rolls her eyes and transports everyone out of the hat.) Dark Palace. (There are murmurs of surprise from those gathered as they take in their new surroundings.) Hook: “Grouping us together like this is all very well and good, but I don’t see Mal here, I don’t see my daughter.” Zelena: “I couldn’t find Lily and Maleficent wasn’t interested in leaving her nightclub. I didn’t have time to convince those who didn’t want my help. Besides, they’re both dragons, they can handle themselves.” Hook: “Aye, but this storm or whatever feeds on emotions, right? Feelings of inadequacy and vengeance? I’m not gonna just stand here and let my daughter do something she’ll regret.” Snow White: (As Hook turns to leave:) “Wait, Hook, it’s not safe for you out there.” Hook: “Ah well that’s where you’re wrong, luv. You heroes might be prime targets for attack, but you’re forgetting one thing. I’m Captain Hook, I’ve always been a villain.” (With that, Hook turns and walks away.)

[deconstructionofworkforpayot]

My positionality: Why should my child unlearn the same things I did?

Is it ignorant or fear of change that every generation has to fall trap into the same oppressing system? from our great grandmothers, who we identify as heroes of the society, our mothers, the cornerstones? Are we really going to be that generation that carries the silence of oppression passing it on to our children? Fortunately, I became a mum at what I call an ‘awakening age’ and aspired to be a different mum since then. I’m not saying other mums out there are not enough or that my mum is bad, but I have seen so many unlearned practices from her life.

Growing up in a ‘broken family’ without a father and having uncles play the father figure role had me yearning to covet the rights women have neglected for years and derange the patriarchal system. I mean, I identified my mother as mum and dad, although I hate calling her dad. Yes, she took on both roles, trying so much to not have me feel the gap of his absence. Trust me, I don’t hate my dad and never did, even when he was still alive. I hate the choices he made of neglecting me, not that I want to pin his actions with unjust things happening in my life, but somehow his behavioural choices were distorted. Growing up with my mum had me realize that I had to do better than the woman dad left in my mum who could not fully be my role model. I identify myself not as a strong woman but as resilient. One who has been down several times and still woke up.

I’ve seen how my male cousins were treated better than anyone else, how they would be part of family gatherings and have a say while we were only involved for refreshments. I don’t hate my upbringing, maybe had I had a different one, I wouldn’t have learnt. But who am I kidding? This patriarchal system doesn’t only affect us within our families; it’s a societal norm. Crazy right? But we can’t shy from the reality that this social system is used by males to control females (Yifei, 2011). I grew up angry at how I had no voice, how everything was dictated to me, how the behavioural choices imposed on me by society were to their benefits and not what I want but, in the name of teaching and grooming me to become a submissive wife.

It’s sad how I have witnessed this in my community, where these ‘happily’ married women were victims of gender-based violence and had no one to run to. It's frustrating how some of these women in marriages taught submission raised children who were victims of domestic violence and how everybody else knew, but none took a step to intervene. This has led me to not give childish advice to my clients in terms of marriage and relationships. It has redefined how I relate to people regarding their religion, gender identity, spirituality, etc.

Funny how as we grow, we’re encouraged to not think of anything else besides marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I respect such a communion, especially when it's consensual. But what angers me is how we cannot choose who we want to marry, how, and when. We actually not even asked if we want to get married. But does it matter? We’re merely a land that should be fertile to these undeserving males we call men in our societies. What kind of men would do such to a woman? What kind of mothers would allow this to their daughters?

The yoke we carry of thinking about your family names whenever we have to do something, I’m not saying drag your family on the mud. But why must it always be women who should take that responsibility? When I fell pregnant, I was such an outcast. Mind you this is my body. Funny how I had no feelings, their main concern was how what I’ve ‘done’ ruined the family’s reputation. I felt like such a possession. Or am I? you know when everyone can say something about you?

I had gone against religious ethics, and dogma. I had become such a sinner that deserved to be in hell, well no one saw me as a woman, not even as a person. I remember how I was oppressed for actions I could not undo. For a child I could not abort. For a child I loved at the very moment I realized I have conceived.

Google (2021) this image shows how accepting to say nothing is actually a choice favoring the opposition.

Hence, I learned how much I could not have my child go through the same treatment. I fought to break the silence and to take a stand for myself and wellbeing. I had to find my identity, in a place that seemed like a war zone I was tired of being deprived of my thinking, and entitlement to my behavioural choices and decisions.

Social constructs that made other women so proud of being numb, satisfied with mediocre, revoked feelings of strength and preparedness for war in me. I had to fight for the many women coming after me, before me, my mother, my daughter but mostly myself. I had to fight and still fighting the logic of being okay with not questioning, being okay with acceptance in the name of ethnicity, language, geographical location, family status, religion, race, gender and even culture. I’m still fighting the idea of how in a romantic heterosexual relationship the man has to be taller than the girl, darker than the female, be more educated and earn more money than the female. I’m still fighting the “okayness” with polygamy but stereotypes with polyandry. The okayness with men having many sexual partners and the labelling over women who do the same. The okayness of men using the services of sex workers and how sex workers are immoral. I’m fighting the okayness of a brother sleeping for 10+ hours and sisters waking up at dawn, preparing food for the entire family menders.

Positionality is a term used to explain how a person sees life, sees the world and position themselves in a situation, political and or social context (Darwin Holmes, 2020). Although ones understanding of life is everchanging, it is also important to recognize and understand how the change affects people around us.

Google (2021) the emphasis is on acknowledging that as people we learn and change, hence ones positionality is dynamic.

 My positionality has been impacted upon by personal experiences with regards to gender, from the idea of what gender is, and how as soon as a child is born there is confinement of who and how they should behave and think. Such experiences have taught me to see a person as a person without labels, so what if treat a transgender? So, what if I treat a sex worker? Why should my ideas control my therapy? Its of very importance that I look at the person holistically and consider their positionality’s in everything. At the end of the day, I should be concerned with how the client’s occupations have been affected and what can be done to assist not analysing the persons preferences, gender identity, and behaviour. Assuming a person’s positionality is so important because it allows me as a therapist to get the clients holistic overview of self and life.

Google (2021) these are the factors affecting ones positionality.

 Hence at Kenville community, we look beyond the client’s family status and treat everyone as equals. Be it a doctor, one of our own OTs and a child from a disadvantaged family. We understand that quality of life is impacted by health, environment, race, gender, and social status. We have also looked at programmes we can use to educate our community through the maternal health programme. Which has included individuals who are from South Africa with an attempt to alert our communities that outside of skin colour lives people. Its actually not important which gender you assign with, which race you identify yourself as. We are people. We are women.

I have this great urge to have my daughter, sisters not having to unlearn social injustices. how about you?

Reference

References

1.    Darwin Holmes, A. (2020). Researcher Positionality - A Consideration of Its Influence and Place in Qualitative Research - A New Researcher Guide. Shanlax International Journal Of Education, 8(4), 1-10. https://doi.org/10.34293/education.v8i4.3232

2.    https://www.dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/positionality-300x156.jpg

3.    https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmiro.medium.com%2Fmax%2F794%2F1*prT891D9WB1Nm3xyG3r7OA.png&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fscholar-activism%2Fblog-8-when-are-we-positioned-out-of-bounds-3df6c7ee8dad&tbnid=_GtBNmlokchE_M&vet=12ahUKEwimt7yMrNvvAhUU4RoKHQhbAxYQMygFegQIARAj..i&docid=b-ownNp2UorWiM&w=794&h=505&q=positionality%20quotes&ved=2ahUKEwimt7yMrNvvAhUU4RoKHQhbAxYQMygFegQIARAj

4.    https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slideshare.net%2Fmattmaycock%2Fethnography-group-15th-july-2015&psig=AOvVaw3LL8lzR2rGXMI_zXSF2ZaK&ust=1617476909120000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CA0QjhxqFwoTCKCq55eh4O8CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAK

5.    Yifei, S. (2011). China in the "Post-Patriarchal Era". Chinese Sociology & Anthropology, 43(4), 5-23. https://doi.org/10.2753/csa0009-4625430401

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: heard from drew? Carly: long shot Ali: Ha, good one Carls Ali: God no Ali: he's AWOL? Carly: yea Carly: gimme calebs number? Carly: longer shot Ali: 'Course but doubt they're chillin' Ali: and he might act like saying his name invokes him to pop up like a demon but you know Ali: Have you spoken to Meena? Surely he's keeping her in the loop Carly: shes not picking up Carly: to me Carly: same as my mum and dad Ali: That's not like her, she's probably just busy, keep trying Ali: As for your 'rents, where have they gone? And why do you need Drew so urgent? Gah, sorry, so many questions Ali: Just go with this one, are you okay? Carly: ive been trying ages Carly: shes not on spanish time idk why she cant answer Carly: idk wot to do Carly: how do i get it to stop ?? Ali: Spain's only an hour ahead of us anyway, not an excuse Ali: I'm 8 hours ahead and I've managed Ali: get what to stop babe Carly: the crying Carly: i cant think Carly: its all it does Ali: You've had the baby Ali: how long ago? did you go to the hospital? you need to if you haven't, like now Carly: what Carly: why would i go there Carly: its over with Ali: Because you both need to be checked over Ali: its really important Ali: have you birthed the placenta? Is it all out? If not you could die Ali: Never mind if there's anything wrong with the baby Ali: Call a cab and give me your deets, I'll transfer the money now Carly: that alien shit Carly: yea Carly: it screams healthy Ali: that is a good sign but there could be something you're missing, maybe that's why its screaming? better safe than sorry, they're not allowed to ask you about shit unrelated, so if you're high, sober up and then go, yeah? Ali: When did you last do a feed? Have you been able to? They'll show you how, it can be tricky Carly: id scream if i was born here Carly: gonna be stuck Carly: sober up? i need more Carly: shit hurts dont need to tell you Ali: They'll give you stuff at the Hospital Ali: why do you think anyone goes? Ali: and fo free baby gurl! please Carly: i cant Carly: gotta be hear for when my mum rings back Carly: & drew might come Ali: Give me your mums number and I'll tell her where you are Ali: then she can ring the hospital and they'll let you know Ali: I bet Drew has a key, no? Ali: Leave a note Carly: he left it when he went Carly: threw it at me Ali: Oh bab Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but you gotta focus on you Ali: and the baby now Ali: Not him, he knows where you are Ali: I can text him if you want, or try to call Ali: I swear nothing bad will come out of it Carly: but its his Carly: and i am Carly: he should be here Ali: But he isn't Ali: maybe he'll come back but you gotta keep going 'til he does, alright? Carly: i need to find him Ali: Not right now Ali: next step Ali: he's not lost, he doesn't want to be found Ali: i know that's harsh but its the truth Ali: he'll come back when he's ready, alright? Carly: what about me Carly: im not ready Carly: he doesnt care Carly: why should i Ali: he cares about himself Ali: AT LEAST do that Ali: if you can't the baby then the people at the hospital will help with that too Ali: you can't just leave it Ali: boy or girl? Carly: its a girl Carly: another one Carly: hes gonna be mad Ali: I don't think he's salty about not having a male heir babe Ali: If you really won't go...I'll do my best to tell you what I know and I'll send you links Ali: we'll do our best health check and then you've got to try to feed her, yeah? Is that okay? Carly: mad that shes here Carly: i said i wasnt having one Carly: you want me to read? cant hear myself think Ali: But you were Ali: and if you were doing it without protection then he was fully aware it was a possibility Ali: I'll voice memo you then Ali: it'll stop the crying Carly: he says its not his Carly: maybe not Carly: idk Carly: its got blood on it but could look like him when thats gone Ali: He said that to me when it definitely was so kind of his go to Ali: but even if it isn't, doesn't mean he has to be a dick to you about it Ali: Its not right regardless Ali: Especially not when you're alone Carly: how do i make it sleep Carly: im tired Carly: should i sing? Ali: That might help yeah Ali: Skin to skin to, that's comforting Ali: Lemme break down how you feed it, yeah? Hold on Carly: i cant pick it up what if i drop it fuck no Carly: gotta stay where it is Ali: You won't Ali: its your baby, its safer with you than it is on the floor Ali: get a towel, that'll keep it warm and put it to your chest Ali: [Sends 38 sec video] okay, if that's easier this vid shows you how but I'm here to talk you through Carly: all the towels are wet Carly: it can have my tshirt thats warm Ali: Good idea, see Ali: you know what you're doing Ali: you've got this Carly: its too small Carly: i have to put it back down Carly: ill hurt it Carly: fuming about me coming near it Ali: She's just hungry and confused Ali: Understandable, right? Dunno about you but I'd be pretty fucked off too if I'd just been pushed out my nice comfy home of the last 9 months Ali: You'll be her best friend in my time at all Carly: id put it back if i could Carly: whyd you wanna do this 3 times Ali: 'Cos I'm a bossy bitch and I want underlings to do my bidding and I get to tell 'em what to do Ali: speaking of, time for your masterclass Ali: get her and get comfy on the sofa or your bed or wherever is bed Ali: best Carly: k Carly: shes heavy wtf Ali: That's good! You did a good job cooking her then Ali: and if she's a lil chunk, this should be easier Carly: shes small but im sleepy Ali: you can both take a snooze when this is done, usually conks 'em right out Ali: is your tiddy out? Carly: knew you fancied me Ali: you know Ali: getting in there while your defenses are down Carly: im single Carly: you too Ali: Lets do it mama Ali: cutest fam ever? i think so Carly: shes not cute like yours Carly: weird coloured thing Ali: she's probably covered in the gunk and pink from screaming her head off Ali: no ones finest hour i bet she's beautiful Carly: ill get it to take a selfie Ali: yay! get it on the nip 'cos i gotta see my boo too 😍 Ali: line her nose up with your nip, kinda tickle her top lip with it, she should open her mouth wide Ali: then you can shove it in Carly: done that before Carly: weird Carly: [Sends pic of tiny baby Indie] Carly: does she look like him idk Ali: Definitely Ali: Looks a bit like Edie Carly: ill send him the pic Carly: probs should take a better one Carly: how do i look? Ali: Like you've just given birth Ali: so a goddess Ali: but a knackered one Carly: youve got a fetish Carly: cant trust that Ali: me??? Ali: didn't impregnate myself Ali: look at Caleb! Carly: and drew Carly: wont see him Ali: Clearly its his thing too Ali: but he's more about the before than after yeah Ali: he can't stay away forever Ali: he wouldn't leave Meena Carly: youre smart Carly: if i go there he cant avoid me Ali: Exactly Ali: Camp out Ali: Ana will help you with the baby shit if you like Carly: why Carly: she doesnt know me Ali: Because she's a good person Ali: plus she's a social worker, it what she do Ali: and she knows Drew better than most, she raised him Ali: worth a shot Carly: shes not his mum Carly: but she can take this kid Ali: yeah she's better than Ali: is that what you want? Ali: she'll discuss it with you, make sure you both get what's best Carly: im not talking to her Carly: she can take it or not Ali: No one will just take her with no questions asked Carls Ali: for your welfare and the kids Carly: im not answering a social workers questions Ali: They're not entitled to judge you Ali: She won't Ali: and as far as drugs are concerned, if you want to give the baby up then literally none of their business at all after that Ali: and if you did decide to keep her then they work with you Ali: they're not gonna just shop you, it ain't like that Carly: make me go to rehab is how its like Carly: fuck no Ali: They can't make you Ali: there's no point Ali: you can only get sober if that's what you want Carly: my mum and dad'll make me Carly: i know theyre gonna Ali: well, where the fuck are they now? Ali: if they're so concerned about you they'd be here Ali: actually supporting you Carly: theyll come when they find out about her Carly: i never told them Ali: Good, I hope they do Ali: but how did that happen Ali: how could I see and they didn't Ali: or Drew Carly: they dont come back Carly: drew did see thats why he left Ali: yeah but they must talk to you Ali: your mum has obviously been there how did she not clock something being up Ali: and not soon enough in Drew's case Carly: i call them if i need money Carly: they gotta think its why im calling now Ali: When do they call you? Carly: if i call and they didnt pick up Carly: unless theyre busy Ali: I see Ali: how's she doing? done feeding? Carly: sleeping Carly: how are yours? Ali: best feeling ever, right? Ali: much the same, its late here Ali: I'm pulling an all-nighter lowkey, finishing up some work Carly: i miss junie Carly: whatever your on for it gimme some Ali: i'd be creepy and snap him sleeping but no doubt the flash would wake his highness Ali: he misses you too, i'll get him to facetime Carly: aw Carly: go work bitch Carly: i shouldnt kept you this long Ali: don't be daft Ali: queen of multitasking Ali: and not just junie who misses you is it Ali: #massiveLESBIANcrush Carly: my tits are gonna go down Carly: snap me up now Ali: Trying, like Ali: make it facebook official Ali: that'll get the lads attention ey Ali: why else do it Carly: yea Carly: my parents too probs Carly: lapsed catholics Ali: be on the next plane over to get you back on the dick like Ali: i'll get on it #longdistancelesbians Ali: my ex gonna be so mad Carly: mine too Carly: wtf am i gonna do Carly: I dont want him to be an ex Ali: even though he's fucked you over like this? Carly: i fucked him over first Carly: i lied Ali: not really Ali: if anything, you lied to yourself Ali: but you didn't wanna hear it, couldn't Ali: and that makes sense Carly: cant block it out any more Carly: fuck Ali: it gets really real really fast Ali: doesn't it Ali: but you have got this Ali: i've got you, however i can, yeah? Carly: i dont want it to be Carly: i dont want it Carly: i cant do this Ali: okay, that's okay too Ali: but she isn't going to just go Ali: whether it was getting an abortion earlier or what you have to do now Ali: you have to do something Ali: there's no quick fix for it Ali: ana can get you in touch with the right people who will make it as easy as they can for you and her Ali: or my mum Carly: if i leave her she'll get found Carly: why does nobody ever call me back wtf Ali: Yeah but they'll still try to find you Ali: or Drew Ali: and his DNA will be on the system so Ali: and I reckon if they got to him, he'd sell you out Ali: when's the last time you slept? Carly: idk Carly: what day is it Ali: Tuesday Carly: sunday Carly: saturday Carly: idk Ali: fuck girl Ali: you shoulda been banking up on it before Carly: ha Carly: easy fix Carly: need my dealer Ali: not if your gonna be breastfeeding Ali: unless he gonna bring formula too Carly: i can go myself for that Carly: get a car Ali: you getting enough cash in, yeah? Carly: ha no Carly: no student loans for this bitch Ali: you'll have to look into getting help with that Ali: there's funds and shit, i'll find out the info Ali: that or tap Drew up for child maintenance Carly: yea cos hes declaring his earnings Carly: i wish hed talk to me Ali: exactly, bribe him like Ali: he's got a lot to lose Carly: hed never forgive me Carly: i cant Ali: but you can forgive him for all he does? Ali: got it bad honey Carly: yea Carly: its fucked Ali: is there anything he could do to make you stop loving him Carly: idk Carly: why Ali: cos you'd be happier if you didn't Ali: right Ali: like, he treats you like shit Carly: i wasnt happy before Carly: & he hasnt this whole time Carly: it got bad Carly: me too Ali: but you could be Ali: you don't have to give up hope of ever being Ali: and he did for the majority of the time though, that should outweigh the good Carly: with what Carly: this kid Carly: im not you Ali: no Ali: of being happy Ali: with just you Ali: or someone else who treats you better Carly: i dont have a job or friends here and i live in a caravan Carly: not gonna happen Ali: you can get both Ali: you're cool Carly: ha Carly: youre dreaming Carly: fucked the allnighter Ali: i'm not the only one Ali: and why not? Carly: drew says im a junkie Ali: what does he know Ali: and anyway, functioning junkie Ali: shits possible Carly: he knows me Carly: he loved me til i fucked it Ali: you haven't DONE anything Ali: a baby happened to you BOTH Ali: you're both reacting, right or wrong now, whatever Ali: and he probably still does but Ali: love ain't always enough Carly: why are you my friend? Ali: I said, you're cool Ali: funny, smart, nice, you already know i fancy you so no need to kiss arse any more, yeah? Ali: you're SO friendable, babe Carly: shoulda fallen for you Ali: yeah well, the tragedy of being straight and feelings not following logic Ali: sometimes, you gotta fuck feelings tho, do right by yourself Carly: i dont feel anything when he isnt here Carly: nothing happens Carly: cept today Ali: make stuff happen Ali: its only chaos darling Carly: youre not here either Carly: what am i gonna make happen on my own Carly: this shit Carly: idk Ali: what do you wanna make happen Ali: anything, however unlikely you think it is Carly: i want him to come back Carly: my parents too Carly: but none of them are Ali: can't control other people nah but you can do all YOU can to make it happen Ali: what would make him come back? who would he wanna be with? and you can try to talk to your 'rents and tell them what is up...longshot but maybe they don't realise how shitty they're being Carly: they're not Carly: theyre busy Carly: and im not a kid Ali: busy with what? Ali: living it up in spain? Ali: they kept you, you're their kid for life Ali: they don't get to peace at 16, 18 whatever the fuck Carly: they didnt vanish Carly: i know where they are Ali: yeah but they should be here rn Ali: you need them Ali: maybe if you ask, when they answer, they will come back Ali: i'm not slagging on 'em, its just facts Carly: i dont want to go live in spain Carly: fact is theyll try and force me Ali: well, they can't make ya, tell them why you wanna stay here Ali: they could still be supportive Ali: even if they're not physically with you every day like Carly: they wont let me stay for him Ali: okay...make something more parent friendly up then Ali: what they don't know won't hurt 'em Carly: youre so smart Ali: so i've been told Ali: with varying levels of sarcasm Carly: yea Carly: same Ali: You are though Ali: One of the many reasons we get along Carly: youre such a mum Carly: bigging me up like Ali: s'what i do best right Ali: shoulda been a cheerleader, fucking irish schools not letting me shine Carly: thats what schools do best Carly: be shit Ali: true dat Ali: even if my uni is pretty swish Ali: and full of nerds like me Carly: looks it Ali: still, miss the homeland like Carly: switch places Carly: shes crying again what does she want this time Carly: headfuck Ali: think its a bit too early for her to have shat, maybe wee but Ali: probably wanting her next feed Ali: you do it roughly every 2 hours for the first month Carly: ffs Carly: howd you get anything done with 3 of them Ali: ask myself the same question Ali: luckily they're not all on the tit 'cos form an orderly queue lads Carly: not getting my tit out again Ali: its that or formula run to get her to stop crying Carly: i cant put her in the car Carly: she'd fall out Ali: that solves that then honey Ali: get 'em out get 'em out get 'em out Carly: perv Ali: 🤷 Ali: single mum, gotta get my kicks where i can yo Carly: get fucked Carly: not offering Carly: one of the nerds would be up for it Ali: no need to tell me Ali: desperation station Ali: bless 'em Carly: do you go to class with your shoulders and knees out Ali: its boiling here, not even trying to be a shameless hussy Ali: can't be swooning erryday, got places to be, shitty bums to wipe Carly: yea Carly: cant steal that excuse myself Ali: sadly not Ali: can use breastfeeding though Ali: you're just out here feeding ya kid, looking hot as a by-product, fight me world Carly: don't Carly: how is this happening Carly: im looking at her and idk Ali: i can't believe you did it all by yourself Ali: you're a right tough nut Ali: but you don't have to keep doing it alone Carly: but i have to do something Carly: wtf Ali: yeah, keep both of yas alive until you figure out your next step Carly: make it sound simple Ali: 'course Ali: i'll allow you some melodrama but i can't claim hormones as hard Carly: u can Carly: and homesickness Ali: alright, lets have a good sob Carly: this kids done enough Carly: has you beat bitch Ali: rude Ali: already winning fresh out the womb Carly: what you naming it Carly: said you would Ali: you're serious? Carly: idc Ali: probs think on that a bit longer, whether you wanna name her or nah Ali: but my lists be ready don't fret Carly: k

[buckygirl-fanfiction]

Sparks Chapter 6

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV)

Word Count: 2.2K

Summary: After Bucky’s night terror episode he is ashamed and avoids y/n. y/n, not liking to be ignored, makes Bucky talk things out with her. Bucky and y/n go for a walk through the park and get bubble tea and climb a tree in the middle of the night and have deep convos. They get closer as friends.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 66 pages. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

September 18, 2015

y/n’s POV

“Well i’m taking a stand. It’s been three weeks with no sign of Maddox and you’re monitoring both our places. He’s not going to show,” I say to the group sitting around the table.

“Yeah as much as I love Wanda for letting us stay in her apartment. I didn’t sign up for this job to be locked in a tower. Literally.” Cho says next to me.

“That’s not a good Idea. We don’t know whether he will show up again or what Hydra’s plan is,” Steve says but before he continues I cut him off as politely as I can.

“We can’t just stop living our entire lives because of a security threat,” I say. I’ve been stuck in this tower for 3 whole weeks with Cho living out of Wanda’s apartment and as much as I love Wanda and work and everyone here I need my own space.

“You’re more than just a high risk target facing a security threat. You are the security threat,” Tony says.

“What?” Cho says narrowing her eyes at him from across the table.

“We can’t let Hydra get their hands on an individual as high level as the two of you. Because…. For lack of a better metaphor that would be like handing a folder of classified information right to the enemy.”

“We are not folders of classified information that you can keep locked up in your file cabinet,” I say to Tony wide eyed. Is he serious! What does he think is going to happen? That we are going to get taken hostage and spill our guts to hydra? Because clearly he thinks we can’t handle ourselves. Before I really go off on him Nat interrupts me.

“Alright,” Nat says, “they are employees not investments. You’re already monitoring their apartments with live security. We probably spooked him. They don’t need to stay locked up in here.” Finally someone who is sane I think looking at Nat.

“On your head be it,” Tony says, “any updates he asks looking at one of the chief security officers also joining us around the table.” There are never any updates just information we already guessed be confirmed. Nothing new. And I do have to admit that scares me a little. But, I can’t spend my entire life scared so I just push back the fear and decide to walk on.

…

Bucky’s POV

It’s friday night and just as i’m about to call it a day and retire back to my apartment, my phone dings. I pull it out of my back pocket and the screen lights up to a text from y/n. It reads: ‘wanna get some boba?’ I swipe her message to reply and text back: ‘what?’ And she texts back at lightening speed: ‘bubble tea.’ I reply: ‘now?’ To which she answers: ‘Yeah I’m just leaving the lab right now. Meet me downstairs?’ I text back: ‘okay’ and grab my leather jacket making my way down to the elevator. Ever since our sleeping incident 3 weeks ago, i’m ashamed to say, i’ve been avoiding her. She has been living out of Wanda’s apartment and i’ve seen her around plenty of times and she hasn’t been treating me any differently. If anyones has changed here it’s me. Some part of me is ashamed, I guess. Maybe some part of me is scared to confront certain new feelings that have been brewing deep, deep down.

I step out of the elevator to the main floor and walk towards the lobby. I see y/n waiting for me outside the main glass doors and walk towards her. It’s nice out but the evening has a nice chill. It’s 9pm and the sun has set and the city’s nightlife is in full swing, especially considering it’s a friday night. She hears the door open and turns towards me and smiles.

“Hey,” she says. “Can’t believe you’ve lived here for over 3 months and never tried bubble tea.”

“I don’t really go out much,” I say back. I usually stick to work or hang out with Steve.

“The place is like a couple blocks up,” she says starting to walk down the street and I follow.

“So you’re moving back home?” I ask her.

“Yeah, well moved already. I brought my stuff back during my lunch break.” She turns to me, “any objections? Lately everyone seems to be objecting.”

“No, I think you're smart enough to watch out for yourself,” I say and to this she responds with a huge smile.

“Thank you, now if you could convince the testosterone squad of that fact.” She says. We get to the bubble tea place and get our drinks. “Wanna walk through the park?” she asks.

“Yeah, sure” I reply following her outside the store.

y/n’s POV

We walk through the park with our bubble teas in hand. It’s a dark night but the city lights illuminate the streets. We follow the first path we see into the park and walk amongst the twisted trees and down the winding path. The cool breeze chill against my face. It’s still warm for mid September but there’s a slight chill. The trees are still green but soon the leaves will be brown and it’s going to be cold and miserable again. “I like the fall,” I say. “It’s not too cold yet and it’s not blistering hot and the trees turn red.”

“I like the summer,” he replies. “Its freeing.”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” I say. Hey this is a good time as any to bring it up. He’s been avoiding me for the entire three weeks I was at Wanda’s. Every time i’d see him around the tower and strike up a conversation, his replies would be short and dry and he’d make some excuse up to leave. Usually he’d text me and ask me if i’d wanted to go running like we usually do. But he hasn’t done that either. So clearly he’s avoiding me and I wanted to know why. I’m guessing it’s because of our awkward bed situation that happened. But come on I thought he was a mature adult. We shared a bed and slept on completely opposite sides for god sakes. He had a nightmare, obviously he has PTSD, it’s understandable. Does he think I don’t understand? There is completely zero reason for him to be acting childish like this. Of the 3 or so months i’ve known him I had not once gotten the vibe that he was childish. He was quiet yes, but childish enough to ignore me for three whole weeks no. I didn’t think he was the type. But then again men are men, I thought to myself. So i’ve decided to talk to him. We are pretty close friends. We spend a decent amount of time together and go on runs almost every day. So, I have the right to know if I should keep investing time in our friendship; or if i’m just wasting time.

“I’m not avoiding you,” he says, “I’ve just been busy.”

“No Bucky, you’ve been ignoring me. I know the difference. We are all busy you don’t think I understand that. We are both adults with whole lives and full time jobs. So, I get when my friends are just going through a busy spell at work. But, you’ve been blatantly going out of your way to avoid me for three whole weeks. So whats up? I think I deserve to know.” I blurt out at him. “Or I don’t. Fair enough you’re entitled to your personal stuff and if you need space just let me know and i’ll give you your space. I’d understand. Just don’t cut people out of your life because you’re too childish or afraid to confront issues.” I say. I think I got everything out. Said everything I needed to say. I hope I didn’t come off as a crazy person. But I care about my friends, sue me. Also I think I have a right to know why someone is ignoring me. That’s what friends do they address the issue, confront the problem, and then move the fuck on.

Bucky’s POV

“You’re right,” I say taken a little aback by her directness. She called me childish. I can’t help but smile and she raises an eyebrow at me.

“What?” she says looking at the grin on my face.

“You just called me childish,” I say trying to hold back my laughter. I don’t know why that amuses me so much but it does. It’s been a long time since someone has called me childish.

“That’s the only thing you got out of my entire speech.” She rolls her eyes and says, “There’s clearly something bothering you. Do you plan on letting me know what it is? Or do you want space?”

“I don’t know, i’m just not a open person, and when you saw me like that in a very vulnerable and open situation,” I say referring to the nightmare episode i’d had “it made me feel weird.”

“Weird?” she questions.

“You’re right I can’t just go on avoiding you forever. I miss our morning runs. So yeah I have been a little embarrassed to confront the situation.” I reply.

y/n’s POV

“Is that all?” I say looking at him. He was embarrassed so he decided to ignore me for three weeks. Typical men. I think to myself.

“Yes that’s all,” he says still suppressing the urge to laugh.

“Well you have nothing to be embarrassed about. If you want to talk about it i’m here,” I say looking at him with an earnest expression. “So, we’re cool now?” I ask.

“We’re cool,” he replies.

I raise my free hand make a fist, raising it towards him. He looks down at my fist and raises an eyebrow. “Bump the fist Barnes,” I say. He raises his fist to mines and we fist bump and I laugh. I take another sip of my tea through the straw and spot a huge oak tree. “Come on,” I say stepping off the paved path onto the soft grass and running towards the tree.

“Where are you going?” he says slowly following behind me. “Let’s climb it,” I say pointing at the tree. “I’ve never actually climbed a tree. Always wanted to though.”

“You’ve never climbed a tree?” he says to me surprised. I put my bag and tea down by the base of the trunk and with my hands on my hips I look up at the huge tree. It’s got a lot of thick branches perfect for hanging off of. I mentally plot my best climbing strategy. Meanwhile Bucky, the show off that he is, just jumps up and hooks his hands on a branch and pulls himself up and sits his with his legs hanging down.

“Show off,” I say to him and begin to carefully position my leg on the trunk. I pull myself up to the trunk he is sitting on and carefully sit down with my legs on either side. “Tadah!” I say. He stands up carefully balancing himself up on the thick branch and pulling himself up to the next highest branch. “Hey,” I say. My competitiveness kicks in. I try to the do same but I don’t have as much upper body strength as him and fail miserably. But hell if i’m going to ask for help. I can do this myself so I look around the branches and make a game plan. He watches me intently as I slowly try to use the smaller branches to aid me in my climb. Before I can do it myself Bucky’s metal arm reaches down and grabs my forearm. Pulling me up like I weighed nothing. “I could have done that myself you know,” I say looking at him.

“I know,” he says. We can’t be no more than 20 feet off the ground and we are surrounded by green leaves and thick brown branches and bright emerald moss. He is sitting on the branch next to me swinging his legs. My legs are on either side of the thick branch and I look down at the grass below us. “What if we fall he says,” when the branch gently shakes because of our combined weight.

“Then we break a bone,” I say looking through the leaves at the city lights beyond. “I’ve never broken a bone either.”

“Trust me you don’t want to,” he says.

“Huh, the idea of everyone signing my cast always sounded fun.”

Bucky’s POV

We are sitting on a tree talking about the most mundane and innocent things. Like breaking a bone and how far planets are how big stars are. That’s why I like spending time with her so much she always does the ordinarily unordinary. The small things that everyone wants to do but never thinks to actually do. She makes me feel ordinary and that’s important for someone like me. It keeps me grounded. It’s 10 o’clock at night and i’m up a tree with a weirdest person i’ve met since i’d woken up. “You’re so weird,” I say.

“Weird is great,” she replies.

“Weird is great,” I repeat.

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself