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#that implies they dont expect to make more??
mantisgodsdomain · 5 months
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Occasionally we debate on illustrating random bits from our Discord PMs that we find really funny but then we remember that we're, like, the physical embodiment of the "ace that makes sex jokes" stereotype and phrases like "iterator dick discourse" would both be remarkably difficult to illustrate and probably require us drawing something at least somewhat NSFW (we do not particularly care to learn how to draw this)
#we speak#realistically it would just require more specific tinkering w what we choose to include but we still think the dickscourse is funny#it's the image of a bunch of ancient monks gathering around to very seriously debate decisions with the upcoming iterator project#and then the whiteboard is just like. “ITERATORS: dick or no?”#(vital context: we got hung up on the semantics of people giving their iterators actual genitals in smut)#(as the existence of that on the puppet implies that someone had to design and manufacture and ship that shit for the finished iterator)#(and the general aura of the ancients instantly catapults this to fucking hilarious because it implies job titles like “dick director”)#(and work emails about iterator pipe written in the exact same cadence as all of the ancient correspondence we see in-game)#we dont think a lot of people designing iterators really Get the sheer amount of semantics and construction and effort and PEOPLE#that go into a project of the iterator's scale#especially when hundreds of them have been constructed! theres gonna be a whole ass trail of design changes and iterations!#youre gonna have hundreds of years of iterators being designed and technology coming into fashion and out of fashion#and things being integrated and things becoming obsolete and things being more or less practical as time goes on!#you cant really say that All Iterators have a trait because the sheer scale and timeframe theyre built on means thats near impossible#our windows 95 writing computer has different construction and deeply different design to a laptop from 2023#despite them technically being the same type of technology#you expect tech developed hundreds of years apart to be The Same? absolutely not. theres gonna be eight trillion weird design quirks#accumulated both in the construction process and in the continued design refinement and improvement stage#...which is to say that you can and should write what u want but if youre gonna include pleasure inducing wires then we want like#a 40k word essay on how this got into the design how it wound up in future designs what function the wires perform that makes them Like Tha#and so on and so forth#we admire the confidence and ingenuity of the people who want to fuck the robots but we cannot get into their fantasies with good conscienc#we live in the same house as an engineer who manages largescale construction and we also know too much about designing technology#...we should segment these tags into a separate post or something. we've gone WAY off-topic.
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aroacettorney · 20 days
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perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔
#for a happy ending of a story to be narratively satisfying the characters gotta actively work hard for it#this happy ending feels empty because quite frankly speaking ludger did nothing to deserve it#he has zero character developments from the beginning to the end and has always been the same#well except for his emotional state getting worse over time#bc instead of making any attempt at all to healthily address it like a mentally mature 40yo adult he let it swallow him whole#(not that im necessarily blaming him but its quite frustrating to see him remain unchanged if aup is meant to be a redemption story)#his OPness is inherent#his genius is inherent#(this is not to say he isnt hardworking / only relying on his inborn talents but the author repeatively failed the 'show dont tell' checks)#(bc it was only implied in the past and we've never truly seen it in the canon present timeline either)#his kindness is inherent#ngl dad!ludger content doesnt appeal to me as much as dad!edgeworth cuz the latter is the fruit of the character's growth and hard labor#while the former is well... its just who he is#usually i love found family content but in aup it bores my mind out bc his interactions w the students + owens are so static & predictable#it was heartwarming at the moment of adoption but later on i find it as tedious as reading generic established romantic relationships#was it because of the lack of tensions and conflicts i wonder#they all became his yes men and no one ever actively challenged his unhealthy mindset or behaviors#anyway id have been more interested if he recognized his biases/favoritism/prejudices towards some certain characters & worked to change it#but welp. that would require character growth which is too much to expect from him ig#he has learnt quite nothing from his journey and tbh aup would ironically feel more meaningful if it ended on a tragic note#ofco i got noblesse'd again 😔#would i kill for aup to have a happy ending? yes#would i rather have a sad ending over the half baked and empty good ending we get? also yes#if it must burn then let the whole world burn. cuz at least it would be more much memorable and impactful that way#and i wouldnt have to feel this disappointed and lose all of my interests in one of my only two beloved aroace MCs in aup </2#rant
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cycle-hit · 1 month
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however also interesting that she's still choosing not to live with her family. especially since im kinda convinced her grandma + parents + older brother all live together. her mother being a housewife could signal that her family's more traditional- which makes her grandma being mentioned an interesting detail.
the intergenerational model of "the younger generation takes care of the older" isnt as common in japan as it used to be but it definitely was common! at some point! and family's still a pretty important part of life in japan even without that! if kotoko's family leans on being more traditional its likely her grandma lives with her parents, supported by her father. and her older brother would live with their parents to support both their parents and their grandmother. i have no idea why ive absorbed this into my brain so solidly as canon when its entirely possible that might not be the case.
but anyways. if that rings true it means kotoko is the outlier to this- for some reason she's living separate. why are you alone, kotoko? did you get away? did you "escape"?
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 6 months
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3, 6, 14, 15, and 20
uhhhhh i'll just do these 3 b/c i've been thinking abt them lately
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3. have they died before? as it currently stands, spencer's dead dead yeah and not coming back, lucian is also dead (stuck as undead in his main timeline and while he might've suffered a less terrible death in other ones he still is probably dead in those). in aurelio's case they tried to execute him but it didn't work so i don't know if that counts as a death technically? don't know if he's completely immortal either but he survived the execution so that's gotta count for something lmaoo?
6. what's their greatest fear? aurelio's is loneliness and i think lucian's would be death; at the moment i can't think of one for spencer but? i suppose fearing consequences would be very fitting for him.
14&15. are they trans? / are they neurodivergent? up to interpretation.
20. will they recover from their trauma or will it consume them? i actually think, given enough time after the main story events, aurelio might, eventually. but the whole point of spencer & lucian's storylines is that, no they dont lol: i'd say their stories focus on the effects of not allowing yourself to move on from your trauma and fixating on it to the dangerous point of destroying everything around you and yourself (ESPECIALLY in lucian's). there is the small chance that maybe in one alternate timeline lucian does actually somewhat recover in some part, but for his main timeline nah
#ask#my ocs#aurelio#spencer#lucian#lol i wasnt actually expecting to get one of these?? i wouldve done all the main protagonists but we are NOT ready to unpack all that yet#aurelio and lucians fears are kinda funny given how they ended up ahjkskh. and spencer's def would be too given his circumstances#but tbh he's kind of a shit person so like. lol. SORRY HKJSHK he becomes less sympathetic the more i think about his story 😭😭#see for 14&15 i have other ocs where its more explicitly implied/stated but for these guys im hesitant on officially saying anything b/c#like. keep in mind they kill people so 😭. i dont want people to jump to the conclusion that im demonizing trans and/or nd people#i do welcome alternate readings of my stuff and if u wanna make ur own personal hcs but my og intent is never to be demeaning/hateful :(#im always just scared of people taking things the wrong way in my stories oof. theres a lot of complexities/nuance yknow#i do know there's certain details in aurelio & lucian's stories that you could piece together and interpret them as trans possibly?#which wasnt the og intent but they are there so again up to personal interpretation; spencer i feel is most likely cis tho lmfao 😭#funnily enough tho some other charas in his story sorta got their genders transed during development??#again ALL of this though is under major development so a lot of stuff definitely isnt final. lots of story things in my head#i spilled tea all over myself and my computer in the process of answering this 😭😭😭
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beatcroc · 7 months
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Oh yeah I watched the digital circus thing. It was alright
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digirainebow · 1 year
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wow dating vace really is.............like that
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escarlatafox · 2 years
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yeah sure whatever I guess I’ll post these screencaps here WHY NOT
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senxitive · 1 year
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I want to take this moment to acknowledge that I feel confident in my decision. Before it slips away and I start back with the "what ifs." I made the right decision, not only for myself, but the other people it would have impacted and things must get better from here. The time for action was months and months ago, all that is left is trauma and pain now. And I am right to move on. I can't let this affect me any longer.
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i wish betting on wrestling was like a thing because while i would never win if i bet on anything else (am bad at recognising patterns that actually mean anything) i would cash in soooooo much because i can ALWAYS tell when a jericho feud’s gonna run way too long again 😌
#hello hi . im stressed out this fair sunday evening#feel like im failing at school already its been like a month and yet#one of my teachers v much implied i'd fail her assignment if i didnt do a bunch of extra shit and like#theres reasons for it that i can see from her side but theres also just the issue that i told her about of like#i just dont know how to work with that many materials and slash or i cant go out and buy all these things right now#and then she's like well go down to xyz and ask them to do it for you and its like honey i dont know why you think we've got such a like#mutually beneficial relationship going on between all the applied and fine arts in this school like#thats a fiction that lives in your head ... especially after we just didn't exist in this school for a whole year#and anyway. i went ahead and tried some different materials and its just like. you cant make up what an insane failure thats been#and its not that i didnt try my best its just that like idk what she wants from me#cause anyway theres a reason i picked the materials that i did the first time round#changing those just kinda changes the meaning of the thing in general... which is something SHE teaches us#anyway. and tomorrow i have class w someone who i'm Difficult with (as in like i have a hard time around her im not purposefully difficult)#(its just that she makes me feel that way cause of the 'tism and cause of the fact she thinks she knows how to handle the 'tism)#(she doesnt)#and again i did a lot of work for her im just sure she's gonna expect me to have done more#but in my defense. i need to go to the doctor and see if they can prescribe me some form of ritalin bc my exhaustion was so bad last wk#and has been bad for a hot second lately#and theres really only so much i can do with the spoons at hand#anyway. and im also Sad Right Now because ive been ignored and interrupted while saying things a little too frequently recently#and im not laughing. im having a Time.#i didnt even have that bad of a week all things considered but goddd i need a break
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frodolives · 6 months
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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
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👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
10,558 notes
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
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🎨 asherbrowndurand
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Just painted this
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ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
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🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
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🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
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I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
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🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
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🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
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🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
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👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
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LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
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⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
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yanosdiary · 7 months
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Ouch.
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daegall · 5 months
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☆ macrocosm
➷ in which Luke would send you the sun and every asteroid, and you'd send him the moon and the stars.
pairing: Luke Castellan x daughter of Apollo!reader
genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slight angst, established relationship!AU
warnings: one tiny injury, some cheesiness, and um issues with parents? also reader is implied to be female!!
word count: 1.2k words
a/n: hi all!!! my first time (and probably last LOL) time writing anything pjo :000 unless my brainrot gets bigger, i think this is the only thing i will only release, I hope you all enjoy and I'm sorry if I made any mistakes!! dont hesitate to tell me if i did or if i forgot to add a warning ^^ have a great day and merry late christmas!!!
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Luke Castellan is a great source of your happiness.
Whether it be bringing you a small snack while you work endlessly in the infirmary, or sitting there with you, waiting for you to finally be free of work to finally have a chat with you, with the biggest smile on his lips.
Or it could be from how he always strives to protect you, jumping right in the middle of an attack during capture the flag.
"I can handle myself, Luke." You'd tell him.
He believes you. Every bit of his being believes you. You're amazing with a sword, even more with a bow. Yet something in him pushes him to shield you from any form of danger.
Even when you feel the need to be annoyed at him, in the slightest. His sheepish, almost apologetic smile he gives you pulls at your heartstrings, like a magnet. To be honest, you'd surrender your entire being for him, you'd send him the moon and the stars if he asked you to. You just love him too much.
However, Luke Castellan is also sometimes (never) a pain in your ass.
Such as now, as he once again, shoots you a sheepish smile as he shows up at the entrance of the infirmary.
"What are you doing here?" You question him instantly. Although you have a rough scrunch in your eyebrows, and your arms are crossed, Luke knows you like the back of his hand.
The way your fingers fiddle lightly with the loose string of your orange T-shirt shows how you're genuinely worried, and there's just the slightest curl at your lips that he catches.
Luke pouts at you. You ought to punch him at how cute he looks.
"What? Am I not allowed to visit my favorite girl?"
You scoff, but don't distance yourself from him when he walks forward to wrap his arms around your waist. "Not when I'm pretty sure you have counselor duties,"
Warmth spreads through you, a familiar, nostalgic one. Such as a warm home, or a campfire, it ripples through your soul and body, as Luke's fingertips caress you gently.
"I got hurt," He replies simply.
As expected, his words cause you to pull away almost immediately, your hands cupping around his cheeks softly, as you tilt his head to check every surface of his skin.
Although Luke hates making you worry, he adores the way you care for him.
With a sly smirk, Luke raises his index finger slowly, watching as your eyes trail from his own, to his hand, and finally, the small cut on his finger.
In an instant, you push Luke away playfully, huffing in relief. "You idiot! I thought you were hurt!"
"But you don't understand," He sighs dramatically. Your lips curl up from his overexaggerated sad expression, holding a hand to his heart. "how much my heart hurts when I'm away from you,"
With a roll of your eyes, you step away from your boyfriend, walking to the other side of the infirmary to grab a bandaid. Luke follows you, as if a magnet, watching and admiring your every move.
He watches as you unwrap the bandaid, adores you as you wrap it around his finger carefully, and if he could, he would praise you as you place a small kiss on top of it. Praise you more than he's ever praised to his father, or any other god.
"Better?"
And when he looks in your eyes, he sees his whole universe. Doesn't matter if he's a human, or half god, or if the whole mystical world existed in the universe. As long as it had you, he knew he'd yearn for it for eternity.
And suddenly, there's a flicker. Luke doesn't know how he notices it, not when it's there for only the slightest moment, but he doesn't care.
You're sad.
Another great thing about your great boyfriend, he loves to comfort you.
His fingers caress lightly at the skin of your cheek, frowning worriedly. "Are you okay?"
You're surprised at his attention to the smallest details, confusion evident on your face. "How did you—"
"—I just know, baby," He chuckles. "now tell me, are you okay?"
You can't explain it. But you try, for Luke. You'd do anything for him.
"My dad," You start. This time, it's Luke's heartstrings that are pulled dangerously at. He knows how complicated your relationship with your dad is—hell, everyone at camp has a complicated relationship with their God parent!
Luke's thumb strokes your cheek dearly, urging you to continue.
"He... visited my sibling? I guess? I mean, not directly but, yeah,"
You are a person who's strong, who's always put together, even more so when you have to take care of people every day. Seeing you so... hurt, so vulnerable and weak, Luke wants to curse at Apollo himself, but knows better. He's not worth it. You, however, Luke will stay and wait forever for.
"He visited my brother in a dream. They had a whole conversation, caught up, and I'm happy for him, I am! I just—" You can't keep your lip from wobbling, your heart shaking just at the thought of what your brother had told the whole cabin just this morning.
They were all happy, so were you, asking him countless questions and eager to know how their father is doing, but you can't help but feel jealous.
Luke nods in understanding as you tell him this.
"I mean, he visits my brother, has a whole conversation with him all night in his dream... and he can barely spare a single word for me? What, not even a sign the he cares, that he's here?"
And when tears cascade down your cheek, Luke wants to destroy Olympus with his own bare hands. Maybe for another day, for now, he'll coo and bring you into his embrace, stroking at your back affectionately.
"It's okay baby, it's just me. Let it all out,"
Pent up stress from the week, added with your jealousy and confusion results in a full sob into your lover's shoulder, as he mumbles sweet nothings into your ear.
"I've got you, and I'm not going anywhere."
Your soul cleanses from the hatred and envy, replaced with the love and care that Luke provides, feeling safety and solace in his embrace alone.
"I'm sorry for burdening you like this,"
Luke's heart nearly physically cracks at your words, even more at your defeated eyes peering up at him.
He shakes his head, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple. "Don't be sorry, baby," He mumbles, before pressing another kiss to your cheeks, pecking away your tears. "you could never burden me."
Finally, immense joy and love resonates through you, as it radiates off Luke and onto you, like the sun shines its rays onto earth, you feel complete with him.
"Thank you," You breathe out, staring into Luke's eyes with the most gratitude and love. And once again, he sees those eyes. The eyes that hold his universe, the eyes he'd yearn for forever. And when he leans down to connect your lips in a soft, loving kiss, he knows he will yearn them forever.
You'd send the moon and all the stars his way.
Luke would go to hell and back for you, he'd destroy Olympus for you. He'd be your sun and every asteroid, and you his moon and stars. Together, you'd have your own little universe, just for the two of you. Doesn't matter if you're human, or demigod, as long as he has you, and you have him, it'll forever be complete.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Okay aside from the embarrassing mess I've been... Tonight's marathon conversation was great with Fabian
#miranda talking shit#He asked mr what really made me happy. And i gave him the very depressing answer#Of... I have depression so if i am in that mindset i will genuinely think nothing makes me happy.#That isnt true but it will feel like it. And that i can feel i put on an act or role of being 'haha funny lol'#Bc thats what i feel is expected of me and have been since i was young. And yeah i cried a bit#He asked if i did that with him/the group and i cried more but said ya know ... It have happened but the last year not really#And then finally i answerd that what people say to me makes me happy and I'll think of things like that and smile after the fact. Since i#Struggle to understand and communicate with gestures and body language. Words are the best and easiest way for me to understand people and#To be understood. So i value verbal things a lot. Then i asked him what makes him happy and. ...#Yeah long silence and then: 'many things but what other people do and makes me happy... Is probably...#Well i can be silent. The downside of being silent is you're not always seen. So... Having people see you and putting you#In the spotlight... That really makes me happy' and i of course being a sap cried agaib bc. .. Well one reletable#Two i KNOW he is the silent type and i have been trying to do that for him. Like seeing him. Hearing him.. .#So it made me emotional to basically have him indirectly say... What you've been doing in appriciated and it have been helpful to me#I mean i guess i cant 100% know he meant to imply that ... But its basically what i have tried to do for him since i got to know him#Its how i like to do with all people but especially people who talk less or are more silent. If i interrupt you or someone else does#I will come back to you (apologize if i interrupted you) and ask you 'what were you saying?' i do this normally too but its double#For people i know are shy/quiet. Bc i am that person too and i know how much it sucks to feel like no one bothers to listen when you speak#Like youre not there bc youre not loud enough. So i try to always listen to what he says and pay attention extra#I got the... Dual ... Problem i guess that i CAN talk so much and people dont listen then bc i talk too much lol#But i have and am also the one who doesnt talk and isnt listened to bc i dont speak enough...#Opposite situations but similar problems i guess yeah. Just ... I am always trying to listen. My memory can be shit so i can forget names#And dates especially but if you tell me a story ill probably remember it. And even if i dont i will gladly hear it again#Bro... For a guy thats 20 and ... Well inexperienced with many things hes making so much efforts to... Be better?#Idk man. We have known each other since he was like 16 and at one hand i dont think he have changed. But man he have grown#I meaj we have had many deep late night talks obviously but the last year i feel like he have been making extra efforts#He have said this year he is attempting to become more emotionally intelligent because he realized/thought he wasn't#So i have basically seen him go a far way in basically just a year idk. I feel very honored and valued also that he... Tries for me#I know hes improving for himself but he is thus making an effort for me for example. He asks a lot of questions and seem to pay attention#I am still not used to anyone doing those sort of things to me. Trying to adjust ... For me? Being better towards me? I mean i dont want
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deucegorgonz · 2 years
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Ok after the lagoona post if its not clear, I watched the first ep.. I love it so far but the way everyone's being characterized so far is kind of confusing 😭? I knew it'd b diff from the movie but none of them have a lot of super defining traits rn. Hoping its just bc its the first ep and we'll get more stable characterization later ‼️
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folie à deux
or: the toxic ex boyfriend Ghost AU
PAIRING: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader 
WARNINGS: || 18+ only MDNI || Toxic masculinity || Possessive & obsessive behaviour || Slut shaming || Groping || Gaslighting || Implied & referenced cheating || Mildly dubious consent
w/c: 5.7k (Read on AO3)
a/n: this was supposed to be like 5 paragraphs, so PLEASE if y'all hate it i dont want to know
It starts with a knock on your front door when you’re only half expecting to see Simon Riley.
He even knocks with a sense of entitlement, and it enrages you.  Three hard raps, and that’s it.  He won’t knock again.  If you don’t open the door, he’ll kick it down to get to you—those were rules you’d learnt the hard way.  
You mentally reinforce your motivation when you fling the door open: You’re scared he’ll break your door down, again, and this time, when they try to evict you, Simon won’t be around to terrify them into letting you stay.
How on earth you’d ever found the prick attractive is beyond you in that minute.  Except, no sooner does the thought enter your mind do you dismiss it.  Of course you had—and still—found him attractive.  That had never been the problem.  
He wore his military career on his face, much easier to see than the chest candy he bragged about but no less attractive to you–scars and burns, healing and the not-quite healed bruises plain to see on his face, a cacophony of yellows and purples.  A nose that had spent more time broken than not, its slight curve most likely a combination of never having been set by a professional nor the opportunity to heal without being broken again.  A thin scar dissected his lip, went all the way up the side of his face to his brow, almost like someone had taken a knife to him, carved him up like a piece of meat.  You’d never asked, and it’s not like he’d ever volunteered the information.  
It just sat there along with the three thousand other things he’d deposited in the chasm that stretched between the two of you. 
“You…Jesus,” he breathes, and slams the door shut behind him, making you wince.  “Where are you off to, then?”
“N’ wearin’ that?” He prompts again when you don’t answer, motions to your body with his chin.  
You roll your eyes when he pulls you into him and plants a hard kiss on your mouth, ignoring your squirming.  “Fuckin’ about to spill out, little dove.” 
“Spill?  Simon, I’m sewn into this dress.”  You pluck at his shirt that has deliciously little give where it sits on his hard chest, leaving your palm there as a little treat for yourself.  “You would know.  You capable of wearing shirts your own size, or does the SAS make it mandatory to have your tits straining against them?”
When he doesn’t respond, you push away from him, and step back, crossing your arms against your chest, definitely not pushing your tits up slightly, and he mirrors your movement.  He’s leaning against the wall by the front door now, blocking your exit, and you can only roll your eyes at the foreseeable display of machismo.  
“Your stuff’s in the front room.  Grab it and go, I have to finish getting dressed.  I have plans.” 
“With a pimp?”
Back when you were blissfully ignorant of Simon’s penchant for keeping you destabilised at all times, unconditionally wanting the last word, his crass words would have made you sputter and struggle to respond.  Oh but you know him so much better now.
Now, the blatant transparency in his delivery just makes you laugh.  
You interrupt his next words with a wave of your hand and turn to retreat to your room.  “Get your shit and leave, baby.”  
You hear his harsh exhale at the dismissal, and once upon a time, the repercussions of dismissing Simon in the middle of a conversation would have excited you.  You used to do it to get a rise out of him, instigate him into chasing you around, fucking you silly when he caught you.  Now, you just do it because you can. 
“No need to be a bitch.  I’ll be on my way in a second, just wanted to check on you, little dove.”
Your laugh is breathy, and you have to pull your mascara wand away from your eyes so you don’t end up stabbing yourself with it.  “‘No need to be a bitch’ says the man currently being a bitch about me not telling him my plans.”  Your laugh is mocking when you turn back to the mirror.  “You ever tire of this routine, Simon?  Because it’s tiring to me.”
Your words only make Simon’s eyes soften, and he looks at you almost indulgently, patronisingly, as though you were a child throwing a tantrum to get an adult’s attention.  “Could never tire of you, little dove.”
“Stop calling me that,” you snap, but he only snorts in response.  
It’s all a game to him, you know that.  He makes it very clear how much amusement he derives from watching you fumble and fall, how much he gets off on the stress he gives you.
And yet, you’re drawn to him, every single time.  Every single time, you play mental gymnastics to find a reason to write off his bad behaviour because, well, it’s Simon.  He’s…like no one else you’ve ever known.  
Your choices have always been limited between a cruel, mercurial god and inane, paltry men.  
Except today.  Today you hold your response back, try not to rise to the obvious challenge.
“Come on then, I’ll drive ya.”
“Are you insane?” you screech.  “You’re not driving me to my date, you’re not driving me anywhere, what the fuck is wrong with you, Simon?”
A glimpse of his Adonis belt as he stretches his arms above his shoulders and cranes his neck from side to side briefly grabs your attention. 
“Don’t be difficult, little dove,” he gently scolds you, and your eyes snap back to his—yours wide with incredulity, his calm and collected in that beautiful, honey brown.  “What were y’gonna do, take the Tube with y’tits out like that?  If the prick ain’t pickin’ you up, I’ll take ya to him.”  He jerks his chin in your vanity’s direction and plops himself on your bed to watch.  “Come on, love, finish yer preenin’ then.”
“Preening,” you mutter under your breath as you turn back to the mirror.  “Fuckin’ weirdo.”
It’s only when you’re dabbing perfume behind your ears do you catch his eye just as he brings a cigarette up to his mouth, and you squeal.  “Simon!  The fuck are yo—don’t smoke in my bedroom!”
“Our bedroom—”
“What?!”
“—’n ya didn’t care before.  Y’wanna share, ‘s that it, little dove?”
“Oh my god.”  You turn around slowly, your hands against your lips, joined together as though in prayer.  “Simon.”
“Yeah, baby.”
“You don’t live here anymore.  This isn’t your flat, it’s mine.  This isn’t your bedroom, it’s mine.”
Simon just continues to smoke as though he hadn’t heard you, dark eyes taking the slow, leisurely route back to meet yours. “Y’look good, baby.”  His voice is hoarse, the words slow and deliberate and raspy, and…you can’t deny it.  The pull he’s always exerted on you, the undeniably ruinous sirens call—you burn hotter and brighter than accretion, you’re a helpless sailor caught up in his thrall 
“Simon” 
“Did’ya always look so good?”  The way he looks at you as though in a trance…you know he’s not listening, seeming to just be thinking out loud.  When he stands up, you take an automatic step back, then cringe when the vanity hits the back of your legs.  Nowhere to go to escape his looming presence.  “No…not like this. Somethin’s changed.”  He puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you around so you’re both facing the mirror.  
The back of your neck feels particularly warm as he pushes his entire front to your back, and you can feel him there, hard and insistent against your lower back.  When eyes meet in the mirror, he looks at you like you’re a puzzle for him to solve.  “Nothing’s changed,” you whisper.  “You’re still a dick.”
“Hmm,” he mutters, then lifts your face up with one hand around your neck, and brings his cigarette around to your lips with the other. 
Your instinctive inhale makes him shift against you slightly, and your eye twitches from how good he feels pressed up against you like this.  How he smells to you—that familiar mix of aniseed and icy menthol, fingers eking that potent hit of nicotine straight into you from where his fingers dig into your skin.  “Definitely somethin’ different.”  He pulls one strap of your dress down, and you exhale as he places one warm, lingering kiss on your exposed shoulder.  “‘S good.  Whatever’s different is good, little dove.”
“We can’t—,” you whisper, and his eyes glint at you with interest and arrogance through the mirror.  “We can’t do this.”  
“You’re so pretty all dressed up like this.  Always were so pretty.  So soft, and—” he inhales deeply at the spot just under your ear “—always smell so fuckin’ good.”
“You can’t,” you moan in response, but press yourself closer to him, anyway.
“But I can,” he responds gruffly.  “‘Nythin’ I like, little dove.  And I know y’like it too.”
“Fuck, just—”  He interrupts you by giving you another hit, and this time you turn around in his arms to exhale in his face.  He doesn’t even flinch.  “What are you playing at, Simon?  What do you want from me this time?”
Simon continues to look at your mouth as you speak, and almost as if on auto-pilot, slips his thumb into your mouth.  You want to bite him for his audacity, you almost kick him in the shin, almost almost almost…  But what you really end up doing is accepting it, licking the pad of his thumb and letting him push it into your mouth.  
Your initials on the space between the base of his thumb and index finger catch your eye—it’s a new tattoo, and you know this entire game is a ruse to draw your attention to it—but you don’t react.  You may be stupid horny for him, but you’re not stupid.
“Always such a good girl for me,” he praises, and it brightens you up on the inside, sparks hot and bright under your spine.  “Tell me, love…still me you think about when you touch your pussy?”
Your harsh exhale and slightly narrowed eyes are the only indication you give of having heard him at all.  In response, his thumb moves slightly deeper, sitting heavy on your tongue, and you let him.  
Your stubborn silence makes him chuckle, and he stubs out his cigarette on the ashtray you (still) keep on your vanity, pushing your dress up over your ass so he can grab your cheeks possessively.  The movement is so quick, so fluid that your protest turns to ash on your tongue when he finds bare skin and squeezes hard.
“Forgot somethin, did ya?”    
“No.”
“No?”  His hands grip you tighter and pull you harshly into him.  The angle makes you grind into his cock, and you know that he’s not even half as unaffected as he pretends.  “Gonna put out on the first date, then, like a slut?  Don’t remember you givin’ me any the first time I—”
“It’s not my first date with him.”
Simon pulls back to look into your eyes, and you’re graced by the first genuine smile on his face all evening—the most brilliant of Rayleigh scatterings put to shame.    “It is your first date, love.”
The blunt, matter-of-factness in his words gives you pause, your mind still coming to terms with what he’s just said, your heart starting to race at the barely concealed confidence about your whereabouts.  “How do you—what are you saying to me right now?”
“Truth, little dove.  Like I promised.”
The casual, off hand remark to one of the most devastating conversations in your life gives you whiplash and you have to physically shake your head to get rid of the feeling of something crawling up the back of your neck.  You put your hands firmly on his chest and push him away, and he steps back easily.  
“Are you…Simon.  Are you having me followed?” 
“Don’t need to.  I know you, little dove.”  He takes another step back from you and cocks his head at your dazed expression.  “Put some knickers on.  The white ones, y’know ‘em.”  When you don’t move, he motions towards your underwear drawer with an expectant expression—as though you’re frozen because you’ve forgotten where they are rather than because you’ve just learnt that your ex boyfriend’s stalking you.
When he crosses his arms, you’re jolted to action.  In a daze, you pick up the first pair your hands grab and pull them on.  He thrusts your purse at you, and leads you out your front door with his hand clasped tight around yours.   
You wish you could say that your ex boyfriend driving you to a date with another man is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you, but that’s not realistic for a life lived around Simon Riley. 
***
The drive is silent, but one big hand remains on your inner thigh.  His fingers are so long that they almost touch the seat on either side of your leg.  It feels invasive but it’s also familiar, so you don’t say anything.  Classic— he never had to try hard to get what he wanted from you.
When he asks you for a smoke, you light one up for him and stick it into the corner of his waiting mouth, and he kisses your fingertips as they retreat.  You still don’t say anything.  Instead, your eyes stay determinedly on your initials tattooed on his skin, his warm hand almost a brand on your thigh, and you think about your life with him in the .
The implication that things were normal in the before is wildly misleading, and a genuine disservice to the shit he’d put you through.   
Once upon a time, you’d been delusional about your place in Simon’s world; now it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.  He threw special forces and taskforce and lads need me in your face every opportunity he’d gotten, and worse. Simon Riley was not a man who did or could be convinced to do something he didn’t want to—and you’d hardly ever asked for any explanations from him but still, the excuses were on the tip of his tongue, ready to be flung at you at Mach speed.
You’d bargained with yourself for weeks—oscillating between wanting to proactively end the relationship yourself or allowing its inevitable heat death.  He was one of a kind.  No one had ever made you feel like he had.  No one had fucked you like he had.
No one had fucked you over like he had either, but on good days, you show yourself some grace and let that thought slide.
***
You find yourself falling into old bad habits easily—you wait inside the car until he’s on your side, opening your door for you and practically lifting you out of his car.  
The warmth of his hands seeps through the material of your dress, through the skin on your hips, superheating the bones underneath.  He squeezes the flesh there appreciatively, and though his expression remains hidden to you, you can safely guess the smirking just by the creased skin by his eyes.  
“I never want to see you again.”
The words make Simon pause.  He considers you for a second, the smirk never dropping.  “Go’n, give us a kiss, then, if this is the last time.” 
“I would never,” you insist, finger poking at his hard chest, and he retreats from you, puts his hands up in mock-surrender.   “You’re a manipulative bastard, Simon,” you hiss at him.  “And I’m going on this date.”  With your piece said, you walk away from him.
“Never stopped ya, little dove,” he calls out, a hint of an aggravating laugh in his words.    
 You flip him off without even turning around.  “Drop dead, Simon.”
To your great disappointment, your words don’t inspire the heavens to smite him where he stands immediately, and when you quickly shoot one last look back at him over your shoulder, he stands against his car, arms crossed, looking for all the world like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Asshole.
It wasn’t even that Simon was a bad boyfriend to you—though he was certainly the fucking worst—it was the fact that a) he was a bad person and b) you’d become a bad person by osmosis.
Case in point: you wanted to leave your date mid-meal, battling the intrusive thought of just putting your drink down and walking out the front door, but you couldn’t even say why.  Your date had kindly acquiesced when you’d insisted on the worst table on the floor.  The one overlooking the car park.  The window overlooking the only car parked there—the massive black one, with illegally tinted windows and a suspiciously missing owner.
At least the bar was nice.  Great ambience, dim lighting and pretty interiors, it should have been the perfect first date.  Your date himself was fine too—nice enough with a sweet smile he flashed at you, politely having taken to talking at you when you’d made it clear with your apathy that talking with you wasn’t going to happen.  
After just two drinks, you start to have flashbacks—even an hour spent in Simon’s company clearly manifesting as literal madness—which was disconcerting by itself, but the uncharacteristic subject matter has you really worried.  Every time you blink, you see Simon’s face…or his cock…and when your date asks if you’d like to share dessert, you answer, “Simon…” before hearing yourself, and feeling the heat of shame dance on your cheeks.  Your date just looks confused.
A quick glance outside the window shows the empty car park and…nothing else.  No car.
Had he fuckin’ left?
The thought incenses you, and the irrational nature of the anger makes you feel even more shame.  Why should you care?  When had he ever done what you’d expected of him?  And when had he ever been there for you when you’d needed it.
Fuck it, you think.    
Maybe you were finally free of Simon and his toxic, shameless, unbreakable hold on your life.  Maybe it was time to move on.
You allow yourself a satisfied smile when, in what feels like divine approval of your plan, your date offers to take you home.
***
There are cracks in your ceiling that you’d never noticed before.
You resist the urge to wince, then try to moan but give up when it gets stuck in your throat, and your date misinterprets your sigh of boredom and discomfort as one of pleasure, choosing to go down on you with more enthusiasm than before.  Things could not be worse for you—the man between your legs is clearly in need of a compass and a map and trying so hard that you feel guilty about the whole thing—but you’re determined to tolerate it.  So that the point is made.     
When your date finally leaves, your shaky smile and poorly concealed look of relief convinces neither of you of a second date.  You suppose you should be grateful that he left without a fuss, but you’re just relieved that he’s gone.  You’re contemplating—holding your head in your hands while your elbows rest on the kitchen counter—when you hear him.
“This is pathetic, even for you.”  You turn around, and yep.  It’s him alright.  Sitting at your dinner table, your flimsy chair all but invisible behind his massive frame.  “Breaking in, Simon?  Seriously?”
“Y’gave me a key, little dove.”
“Yeah.  When we were dating.  A key that you’d returned?”  
When there is neither a response, nor any change to his posture, you turn around and start to pour yourself a glass of water.  Then change your mind and grab two whiskey tumblers and your decanter.  “Pathetic,” you repeat.  “How long were you planning this?”
His sudden breath on the back of your neck makes you exhale harshly, and he steadies your trembling hands by placing his on yours.  Together, you pour two glasses of whiskey, but his hands don’t leave yours even when you’re done.
“How was the date?”
“You tell me, Simon.”
“Wasn’t invited, was I?”
“It didn’t stop you.”
He places a small kiss behind your ear in response.  “No.”   His hands knead at your breasts and your head falls back to his shoulder with a sigh, and he grinds into you.  “Feel that?  What even your fake little noises do to me?”
“You were listening?”  The thought is…unbearably hot, and you stubbornly refuse  to examine it any further in your mind.  
“You belong with me, little dove, you know this.  You’ve always belonged to me.  All of you.  Every single inch.  Where would I go?”  
You reach behind you to touch him, and he’s thick and warm to the touch, even through the layers of fabric, and it’s familiar, it’s all so familiar to you..  “This is fucked up.  You were here listening when another man fucked me?”
In a quick succession of lithe, almost impossibly quick movements, he’s picked you up and placed you on your kitchen counter, one glass of whiskey shattering on the floor.  “Made your point, baby?”  
Your robe is off your shoulders and pooling around your waist in a second, and Simon doesn’t even bother hiding his smirk when he pulls off your panties and pockets them.  You don’t bother protesting.  It even feels like trouble when he runs a single finger over the seams of your cunt—you’re damningly wet and if you had enough withal to curse your body out for it, you would.
“You've got such a pretty pussy, little dove,” Ghost says as he fingers you, his voice half-muffled because he's pressing a possessive kiss to your forehead.  “And so wet baby, you’re dripping on my fingers.  All of it fo' me?  Or was it that twat, hm?” 
You're seething inside, raging that your plan backfired like this.  “It was him,” you say, before you can help yourself.  “You heard him fuck me, yeah?”  
“Fuck you?” Simon’s chuckle is dark and ruinous.  “He didn’t fuck you, baby.  He just stretched you out for me.  Good man. Saves me the work, innit.”
Before you can react, before you can breathe, he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, picks up his glass of whiskey in his other hand, and brings you to your bedroom.  Fuck, your sheets are still rumpled, dress and bra strewn on the floor, sandals sitting like a death trap of heel and straps by the foot of your bed.  The room even smells of sex and the cologne your date had worn—it’s disorienting.  You almost feel bad.  Almost.
But…Simon’s presence is all over your bedroom too.  The smell of his aftershave lingered in the air, noticeable if you closed your eyes and breathed in deep.  Other signs too—the faint bitterness of his cigarette from earlier that evening, it’s corpse in the ashtray on your vanity.  When he sets his drink down on your nightstand, he sets it on the coaster you keep there—they’re strewn on almost every surface on your flat.  Mementoes from Simon from different countries he’d go to on deployment.  
“Told you he fucked me,” you say, cheekily—trying to dissuade your mind from leading you towards sentiment—and get a smack on you ass for your trouble.
“‘Course, little dove,” Simon drawls in response.  “‘N you enjoyed it too, yeah?  Tryin’ t’make me jealous.  Took him to the same place we used to go, huh?”  Another smack on your backside, this one hard enough to make you gasp.  “Think I’d forgotten, baby?  Fucked you in that car park, didn’t I?”
“Were you jealous?”
“Why should I be?”  He sets you down gently on the bed so you’re sitting upright, then takes a sip of his whiskey.  “Y’want this.”  
“I didn’t think you were giving me much of a choice.”
“I’m not.”  He takes another sip, and when he leans forward to kiss you, the whiskey floods into your mouth, rich and smoky and bitter.  He continues to kiss you and you have to swallow around his tongue, which makes him kiss you harder.  He’s a bully in every aspect of his life, and kissing you is no different.  His fingers clamp around your cheeks and you have no choice but to kiss him back.  Even in this he dominates you, trying to win even where there is no fight to be fought.
When he pulls away, your heart throbs at how he looks through the lights of the street outside pouring in through your window.  You’ve seen his face before, you’re one of the trusted few that can say they know what Simon Riley looks like, but it’s been a while since you’ve seen him like this.  The harsh lights from outside almost soften where they kiss the harsh angles of his face, where the sharp line of his clenched jaw disappears behind his ears, accentuating his thick neck.
He’s beautiful and cruel and bad for you and every adjective you can think of under the sun.
“Y’want this,” he repeats.  
“I want this.”
And then Simon moves so suddenly.  There’s no preparing for it, no accounting for speed that has no build up—one second you’re sitting upright looking up at him the next you’re on your back and he’s hovering over you, fingers making quick work of his zipper before, in one push, he’s buried in you.  Your breath feels like it’s literally been punched out of your chest.  He’s so deep in you, you can feel him in your throat—he allows you one deep breath before he’s got a large hand wrapped around your throat.  The one with your tattoo on it.
The thought of it incites something foreign deep in your belly, low and simmering hot—you can’t believe he’s tattooed your name on his hand after telling you that he didn’t think you were what he’d wanted.  
You can’t imagine your expression right now, but he tightens his fingers around your throat and it drags your attention back to him.  He’s gritting his teeth, his jaw clamped tightly shut while he grinds his pelvis into yours, each thrust driving you further and further away from him and towards the centre of the bed.  You don’t even understand the movement of his hips—you’re displaced and jostled from the sheer power of his thrusts—but the motion itself feels like it’s more of an up and down motion, dragging against your walls, punching into your G spot.  When your head falls back on a low moan, he jerks your body to alertness just by your throat, and you clench at the feat of strength even when he’s buried in you as far as he can go.  
Simon groans in response, the noise sounding like it tears through his throat on its way out, but you’re helpless to do anything at all, just trying to breathe through the foreign sensations inside you right now, clamp tighter and tighter around him, threatening to break.  You’ve given up trying to look up at him anymore, the pleasure making you squeeze your eyes shut, one hand intertwined with his by your head, the other clawing at his forearm.  
“Shit, baby, hold on, fuck, jus’ let me—” He moves to adjust you, grabbing one thigh to spread you open, push himself deeper inside you, when he freezes.  
“Wha—Simon, what—”
“The fuck is this?” His voice is pitched lower than usual, dark and dangerous.  You follow his line of sight and he’s transfixed, eyes unblinking, looking at a spot on your inner thigh.  You know what he’s seeing, and in the midst of everything that’s happened, everything that’s about to happen, you wonder if you’re seeing the evidence of the existence of a just God.
“You weren’t…you weren’t meant to see it.  It’s from ages ago…”  He reaches out a slightly trembling hand towards it, stops inches away from it—and oh this is better than anything you could’ve imagined—before he brushes two reverent fingers over the little skull you have tattooed there.  “Simon?”
When Simon looks back at you, he seems more determined, somehow.  Like the final part of a puzzle has clicked into place, somehow, and a decision has been made.
This time when he moves, it’s deeper, more powerful but equally as deliberate.  The hand around your throat moves to your face, brushing sweaty strands away from it, and framing the entire side of your face where it rests.  “Got my mark on you, yeah?  Want t’keep me, is that it?”
“I want…want to keep you,” you nearly whine at him, and his hips kick up, hammer into you, in and out, in and out— “Want to keep you Simon.  Want to be yours.”
He bends over you, his grip on your thigh unyielding, long fingers digging into the tattoo on your skin.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I—” He uses your neck to muffle his own sounds for a second and then leans to kiss you.  But it’s more than that.  You feel Simon’s surrender in that kiss—the acceptance of the inevitable, your months of torturous longing for your torturer finding release—and when you come, you bite down hard on his lip.
It feels like your body is hot enough to melt the world into soft, sepia tones around you, and you don’t even understand what he’s doing to your body right now as he fucks you through your orgasm.  He readjusts your hips as you come, and the slightest brush of the coarse hair at the base of his cock against your clit makes you vibrate from the shock of what feels like your second orgasm bleeding into your first.
And when he comes, he slams his hips into you like he’s trying to crawl inside of you.  His groan is long and tortured, and for a man who’s usually silent when he fucks, the sound is delicious.  You never want him to stop.  “Fuckin’ shit,” he murmurs, and traps you as he collapses on top of you.
In the aftermath, there is quiet.  
Simon lifts his head, once, to try to feel his way to the glass of whiskey on your nightstand, all while kissing you deeply.  Turns out, fucked out of his mind Simon is clumsy as hell, and so you grab it for him, draining it yourself before offering him the empty glass.
“Fuckin’ whore,” he mutters, unimpressed, before burying his face in your neck.  
“Says the man who slept with the entire British army in a matter of six months.”  You kiss his sweaty hair and his grip on your hips tightens.  “Bunch of slags.” 
“Don’t call my sergeant a slag.”
“Your serg—” you gasp, feeling your restart its pounding in its cage.   “Not Johnny!  You slept with MacTavish?  He fuckin—he fuckin’ offered to meet me for coffee so many times when we were broken up!  I thought he was being nice!”
“Was bein’ nice, innit.  Lookin’ out for his CO’s girl.”
Your head falls back to the bed as you stare up at the ceiling again.  “This is messed up.”  His casual tone feels like a barb, reopens old wounds and threatens to ignite a fresh wave of hostility inside you.  But before you can stew in your bitterness any longer, he kisses the side of your neck and moves off of you.
“Can’t keep doing this, little dove.”  He says, gathering your clothes from where they’re strewn all over your room.  
You get up on your elbows and cock your head, feigning innocent confusion.  “What do you mean?”
“Gonna have twats all over town stretchin’ you out fo’ me before I fuck you?”
“Why?  You offering to put the graft in yourself?”
“Maybe,” he mumbles, and when he stands up to face you, he’s got a cig hanging off the corner of his mouth.  “Y’got a light around here somewhere, can’t find mine.”
You roll your eyes, reaching over to the nightstand to grab one and throwing it at him.  He catches it deftly, and lights up his cigarette.  “What’s next for you then, Simon Riley?  Off to the pub to find the next victim for the evening?  Send me a recording of when you fuck her in the disgusting toilet?”
“Victim?  Shit baby, give me ten, we’ll go again,” he says, exhaling a cloud of smoke.    
“You’re staying?”
He leans forward, smushes your face with his large hand.  “You got me inked on you.”  You squirm away from him and he lets you go.
“It’s just a skull, Simon.  Not my initials on your hand.”  When his eyes narrow, you gasp theatrically and your hand flies up to your chest.   “Or was I not meant to see that?”  You lean up to pluck the cigarette from his fingers and take a long drag.  “Obnoxious, by the way.”
He leans forward and kisses you, hard.  You inadvertently end up blowing smoke in his mouth, but he doesn’t move, kissing you until you melt.  “Love you, little dove.  You're a massive bitch, though.”
“Pot meet kettle,” you whisper against his mouth.
You know what they say about history repeating itself.  You’ve been through this cycle before, you and Simon.  And you know what he promised you when he fucked you—he may have asked you if you’d wanted to keep him, but you hear what Simon doesn’t say.  And what he doesn’t say is that you don’t have a choice in any of this.  Simon operates like a bully, thinks like a bully because he is one.  Like with most other things, Simon brute forces your relationship, moulds and bends and twists to his liking, does not care if anything breaks.  You have no doubt that in two or three weeks’ time he’ll be across the world from you, bouncing someone else on his cock but it hardly matters.  You’ll get your lick back.  It’s what he’s taught you, afterall.        
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youraverageaemondsimp · 3 months
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DILF!Aemond Targaryern, DILF!Aegon ii Targaryen x Reader (Separate) // HEADCANONS/DRABBLE.
WARNINGS: slight smut, mdni, afab!reader, age gap, breeding kink (aemond), p in v sex (aemond), unprotected sex (aemond), cunnilingus (aegon), oral f receiving (aegon), + not proof read.
(this is technically not a full blown hcs but neither is it a full drabble, so that's why I added both in the title)
WC: 1.3k total (aemond + aegon parts)
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Aemond Targaryen !!
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You knew that you definitely needed an older guy after your immature and toxic break up with the guy around your age, who treated you with almost no value.
But what you didn't expect was to catch the eye of your dad's boss during an event you had attended with him, he was in his early thirties with 2 children with his former divorced wife, Floris Baratheon.
Your relationship began quite formally at first, with him being a complete gentleman, asking you about your educational background, what job you were doing and he had asked for your number ‘just in case’ you need a job if you lose the current one, it felt more like a job offer than a normal conversation.
Until he began to text you good mornings, ask you about your day — at first he would do just that, and leave a smiley emoji after your response, but as time passed on, and you felt more comfortable around each other, he began to share a few personal things.
He had opened up about his divorce with his wife, how it affected him and the kids, — oh the kids, he would share pictures of them when he would be the one spending time with him, he had told you that he was fighting for full custody since Floris was basically neglecting them when they're spending time with her, and you wished him luck.
Soon you both begin to meet up, go on dates, he was stoic, with no expression on his face so it was hard to read through him, but eventually you'd learn to decipher his micro expressions.
You couldn't ignore the way he made you feel anymore, and you made it official, your dad was shocked and angry thinking Aemond had abused his power to get to you but once you explained everything, he calmed down.
You moved out of your apartment into his house, he had given you heads up about the kids that they're hard to handle and dont welcome strangers that easily, but you had told him that you'll manage everything.
And eventually you got along with the kids, and everything in life seemed to be moving fast from there onwards, Aemond got full custody of the kids after proving the neglect they were facing from the mother's side. Which you congratulate him about.
He would often stare at you when you'd play with the kids, he couldn't help but have the thought of your stomach swollen with his child, he'd eventually confess to you about it during your intimate moments.
“Oh fuck— yes right there!” You throw your head back against the pillows as Aemond thrusts into at full force, his desperate hands grabbing any flesh he could find, giving it a tight squeeze. You moaned as you peaked, as his tip repeatedly hit your sweet spot.
“I'm coming.” He grunts, “Jeez— I want to finish inside you so bad, watch you grow round with my child– fuck— I can only imagine the sight.” His words made you feel warm on the inside, and when he went to pull out, you locked your legs around his waist, to which he was surprised by, “Do it inside me then.” You say seductively and he immediately begins to thrust rapidly, he finishes inside you with a moan, painting your walls white before he pulls out, watching intently as his seed drips out of your cunt.
“Mhm, I think Aerys and Rhaegal would love to have a little sister.” He says as he plops down next to you, pulling you into his arms, “I think they would.” You reaffirm, rubbing your thighs together, feeling even more turned on as his seed sticks to your thighs.
“We should definitely make sure it takes.” You tell him, implying at a second round and he smirks knowingly.
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Aegon ii Targaryen !!
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You met him in a club you went to when you tried to destress because of your exams. He immediately took a liking to you, at first you had guessed that he'd be around your age, so imagine your surprise when you found out that he was in his mid thirties.
He laughed when you told him about it, he was extremely outgoing, in fact, too outgoing and so much of an extrovert.
You both immediately clicked, enjoying each other's company and finally exchanged numbers. He had drunk too much and eventually overshared everything about how his wife passed away in childbirth, leaving him with a child who he is working hard to raise.
“I try my best to raise him, but it gets too tiring. You know, I had hired a nanny, but I wish I could just quit my job and spend more time with him.” He shares, “Where do you work?” You ask curiously, “Hightower Co.” and your eyes widen at that, “Isn't that a really difficult place to get into? Their employee selection rate is super low, and I heard their manager is quite picky.” you shrug and he chuckles, “Well I guess I am indeed picky sometimes.”
“what.”
You apologised immediately after feeling embarrassed, he had revealed that his grandfather owns the company and basically wants his family members to run and manage it, though it screams nepotism, most of the hightowers and their extended family are extremely good at their ages, there were only a few select non-family members that were able to make to a non-basic worker status.
Things ended awkwardly after that, but nonetheless, you both communicated with each other from time to time, he would send you cute pictures and videos of himself and his son doing random stuff, or just bonding which warmed your heart.
After a month of talking, you both decide to get into a relationship, you knew it was quick, but you couldn't help it when you got along so well, he would often bring his child on the dates with you, which you didn't mind, but rather had more fun cause this would allow you to go non-romantic dates which are rather comforting.
If there was one thing which you didn't expect of Aegon ; was his sexual appetite, which he had a lot of, you were surprised by how much stamina he has, and how he's willing to go more than 3 rounds at a time, it sometimes exhausted you because you'd be too overstimulated to even continue.
You still remember how he had fingered you whilst at the family dinner under the table while maintaining a conversation with his grandfather, you tried so hard to not make a noise. He eventually finished what he started in his bedroom.
His favourite thing to do is eat you out, he loves the expressions and noises you make and how messy it would be afterwards.
“Aegon— ahh— hmm pls–” You blabber out incoherent noises whilst you grip his hair, pushing his face further into your cunt which he takes in obediently, lapping his tongue up and down and suckling on your clit as if his life depended on it.
The whimpers and noises you let out only motivated him further to continue his ministrations, he dipped down further while his tongue pushes past the folds of your cunt before entering it, the angle caused his nose to be pressed into your clit, nudging against it while Aegon greedily ate you out.
He pushed his tongue in and out before he licked a long strip up to your clit and once again, latched himself onto it, you moaned when you felt his teeth slightly graze against it.
He sucked on your clit which caused you to peak while holding his face tightly against your cunt, your vision went white at the intensity of the orgasm and your body trembled as you calmed down.
Yet Aegon did not stop, you pulled his hair in an effort to pull away, but he grabbed your hand and held it away while he continued to devour you, you whimpered as the overstimulation hit you, trying to wriggle away from his face yet he still didn't budge and continued sucking, nibbling and biting your clit.
After all, he had no intentions of stopping until you were a mess.
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