#that last supper with hannibal and will fucked me up

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

after spending all of season 2 gleefully imagining hannibal getting his comeuppance... I think mizumono broke me

[puppydoggraham]

‼️dni unless you have extreme Hannibal Lecter brainrot/lh‼️

No one:

Me at any given second: WILL GRAHAM YOU SHOULD’VE RAN AWAY WITH HANNIBAL😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU HE DIDNT NEED A SACRIFICE DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT IS FOR HIM😭😭😭😭😭😭HE GENUINELY WANTED TO RUN AWAY WITH YOU AND ABIGAIL AND HAVE A LITTLE LIFE TOGETHER😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭WHICH IS NEW FOR HIM BECAUSE HE NEVER HAD THAT DESIRE BEFORE AND EVEN JUST ASKING MADE HIM VULNERABLE😭😭😭😭😭AND YOU TOOK THAT CHANCE FOR A DIFFERENT LIFE FROM HIM (SO HE HAD TO TAKE SOMETHING FROM WILL AKA ABIGAIL)😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭(BUT ALSO WHAT IF THE FACT THAT WILL DIDN’T RUN AWAY REPRESENTS THAT THESE TWO CANT HAVE A NORMAL LIFE OF SEMI CONVENTIONAL STANDARDS BECAUSE THAT WOULDN’T BE AUTHENTIC TO THEM AS PEOPLE LIKE EVEN IF THEY WANTED THAT ITS JUST UNREALISTIC FOR THEM)

I KNOW HANNIBAL WAS MANIPULATIVE BUT GODDAMN IT HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO BE ANY OTHER WAY😭😭😭😭😭😭I WONDER IF AFTER THE EVENTS OF MIZUMONO HE REGRETS MANIPULATING WILL😭😭😭😭😭BECAUSE ON ONE HAND THE MANIPULATION WAS ESSENTIAL FOR HIS BECOMING BUT ALSO MAYBE THINGS COULD’VE WENT DIFFERENTLY IF HE DIDNT YOU KNOW?! YOU KNOW?! WHEN HE STARTED MANIPULATING HIM THE STAKES WERE RELATIVELY LOW WHEN IT CAME TO HIS FEELINGS😭😭😭😭😭WAS IT DURING THE BETRAYAL WHEN HE REALIZED JUST HOW HIGH THE STAKES ACTUALLY WERE?! OR WAS IT THE LAST SUPPER CONVERSATION AND SO THAT’S WHY HE SUGGESTED THEY RUN AWAY TOGETHER?! AND EVEN THOUGH WILL WARNED HIM THAT JACK WAS COMING, HANNIBAL COULDN’T LEAVE. HE HAD TO SEE WILL A FINAL TIME BEFORE GOING AWAY. HE HAD TO NOT ONLY TELL HIM BUT SHOW HIM HOW BAD HE HURT HIM BY GUTTING HIM PHYSICALLY THE SAME WAY WILL GUTTED HIM EMOTIONALLY. EVEN WHEN HANNIBAL KNEW HOW IT WOULD END, HE STAYED BECAUSE HE COULDN’T GIVE UP THE IDEA OF THE LIFE HE WANTED WITH WILL (ALSO THE FACT HE RISKED DYING AT JACK’S HANDS JUST TO SEE WILL AGAIN). WILL BETRAYING HIM REINFORCED THE IDEA THAT SUCH A LIFE IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM. THE IDEA WAS A FLEDGLING ONE. IT HARDLY HAD ANY TIME TO GROW BEFORE IT WAS STOMPED ALREADY ON. DOOMED BY THE FUCKING NARRATIVE LETS BE HONEST HANNIBAL NEVER HAD A CHANCE. WILL WOULDNT HAVE RUN AWAY IN THOSE CONDITIONS BUT GODDAMN IT HANNIBAL WANTED HIM TO AND WASN’T WANTING IT ENOUGH?!

HANNIBAL DOESNT LET ANYONE SEE HIM. HE DOESNT LET ANYONE KNOW HIM. YET HE SHOWED HIMSELF TO WILL. HE LET WILL KNOW HIM. TO BE BETRAYED AND REJECTED WHEN HE FINALLY LET HIMSELF BE KNOWN OF COURSE HE IS ABSOLUTELY BROKEN BEYOND MEASURE. HE TRIED A DIFFERENT APPROACH DAMN IT HE TRIED. HE WAS WILLING TO LEAVE HIS LIFE BEHIND WITH WILL AT HIS SIDE. BUT WILL BETRAYED HIM. HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO RETURN TO THE MEANS OF EXPRESSION SO USED TO HIM: VIOLENCE.

[dergeistvond]

*carefully slides in more songs to the icd playlist while nobody looks*

Because progress is slow on this chapter, I decided I'll still hand out some silly thoughts and trivia regarding this silly AU. Don't even ask me why, I just like making choices that need explanations apparently. Without further delay, here's some facts.

-Despite being published on 22nd of June this year (2022) I actually started working on it on the first day of summer despite having not finished EMH at the time.

-The same could be said now about it's biggest influences, Killing Stalking and NBC's Hannibal - which I only read 15 pages of and have vague memories of when it was on tv still respectively.

-Originally it was written as a whole story in a journal I recieved as a gift that had the most GIRLY outlook ever and I instanteniousy decided I will write for slenderverse and creepypasta in it not one second later after it was in my hands. For the shits and giggles

-Chapter 3 was named after the Creature feature song - "How to serve man" which at it's turn was named after the Twilight Zone episode: "To serve man"

-It was also written in a format that showcased what both characters were doing at the same time and yet I scrappped Habit's side, thinking of it being useless information. Still it would explain why Jeff wakes up the way he does and I had transcripted the original script in case anybody wants to read what could've been said part. Link

-While I was in the break between chapter 2 and 3, I've gotten upset at the way I had ended things and wrote an alternate "ending" where it's just me being indulgent and going "fuck it just kiss already" and although it didn't include any of the actual contents, it helped form chapter 2 the way it is i.e the setting, the slow prideful clapping, the outburst Jeff has before collapsing. I didn't upload it yet - because it was bad and made out of anger, but I will later...Maybe.

-Chapter 4 (The last supper) was meant to be an epilogue as it was originally a 3-parter but I ultimately decided against it as more ideas spawned (10. 13-14 maybe if we don't include the parts that I don't know where to fit in.) There should be around 10 chapters.

-I still do want an epilogue to follow, but I fear it'd break the divergence and timeline itself.

-It crosses universes with my creepypasta fic Herumwuten - which was abandoned but may make a come back one day.

-A good majority of the emotion and character from the script gets thrown out during the actual writing (which is around the third run) Soif asked for it I will upload the script bits to showcase the differences, most prominent in chapter 4, which was built from scratch nearly and a lot of the humour and angst got washed away.

[will-gayham]

your tags on your last post made me think, hannibal didn't incriminate himself I think. will said to jack he'd have two witnesses when hannibal would try to kill mason, mason is drugged and so is not a reliable witness, hannibal didn't kill him, only paralyzed him (and was counting on mason not telling the FBI for personal revenge probably) also hannibal brought him to will's house and could have planted evidence against will. hannibal is very smart, after all.

TRUE i really do think he’s holding back a lot in s2b intentionally. i don’t think hannibal makes really calculated decisions all of the time but i think he did want to kill mason, but it wasn’t quite safe. maybe he wanted margot to kill mason herself, but whether or not that went above his desire to kill with will i’m not sure. either way, he probably knows he has his bases relatively covered and there isn’t enough evidence to get him convicted for what jack wants him for. 

i think it makes that storyline so much more interesting. like, will pointing a gun in his face and then turning up 2 seconds later with a completely different demeanour to ‘resume his therapy’ was suspicious as hell. hannibal even discusses it with bedelia in a way that i think shows he doesn’t trust will’s intentions, but he WANTS to. he knows that will is working with jack and i think he knows it could very well be a trap from the very beginning. yet by the end, will still managed to convince hannibal that he was choosing him and i think that if they DID run away, life would have immediately begun for hannibal and will. i think it was the last thing hannibal needed to trust will completely.

apologies for this ramble in advance but i think hannibal held back the extent of his murderous intent and his romantic feelings, but was probably itching for that day when he could finally share it. he was already drawing patroclus and achilles and thinking about what him and will could be, he was sharing things about his mind he’s never told anyone, and digging up bodies to court will. he bought clothes with will’s initials on them and had a beautiful apartment ready for them in his favourite city in the world. i think once he allowed himself to open up, it would have been, like, unbearably romantic. completely over the top. and even if he was making himself behave up until their “last supper”, i think he got completely caught up in the fairytale of it all

idk about everyone else but i am genuinely HAUNTED by the sincerity of hannibal’s original plans. he didn’t even need to kill jack, i think he really only wanted to do it for will, and was ready to just leave if will wasn’t comfortable with it. and i think hannibal opening up the option for them to not kill jack really showed how much he was ready to change and compromise for will’s wellbeing. he thought will WANTED to murder (and was right ghdfsj), not that he was going to force him to slaughter all his friends. even he understands that it hurts too much sometimes.

and that he wanted to SURPRISE will with abigail? wanted to stand there and see will’s face light up in realization that the teacup had come back together? that the nightmare was over? i think this is also the time that he would have been frank about his romantic feelings, everything he could do to show will how he feels. i think it would have been the most dramatic ass date night next chance he got. and after how much will seduced the fuck out of him, i dont think hannibal really doubts that that’s where their relationship will go

it’s my own headcanon that last minute hannibal was going to tell will he’d managed to get an airline that allowed them to bring dogs in carriers and i will die on that hill

hannibal’s real cruelty came when he was heartbroken. when hannibal was expecting will’s love, i think he was ready to make will as happy as possible and truly wanted what was best for him. it was a fairytale through and through. and he tried to protect himself from the possibility of betrayal but in the end he didn’t manage to protect his heart, only his freedom, except the two weren’t mutually exclusive after all

THAT was such a tangent im so sorry but YES i think hannibal is still protecting his freedom at that point and trying not to trust will and he is smart in that sense but is unaware of how deep he’s falling in reality

[anamelessfacelessnerd]

Not me rewriting the ending to Mizumono only to have a much better idea halfway through so as soon as I finished the first one I started on the second

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Hannibal (TV)

Relationship: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

Characters: Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Abigail Hobbs

Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Episode: s02e13 Mizumono, Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Mild Blood, Rough Sex, Coming Untouched, Not Beta Read, Dark Will Graham

Language: English

Summary: “I need him to know.” Will looked into Hannibal’s eyes then, searching for the desperation he could hear in his words. “If I confessed to Jack Crawford now, you think he would forgive me?”

“I would forgive you.” It’s clear that Hannibal’s not talking about the murder, but the betrayal. He would still forgive Will for conspiring against him. “If Jack were to tell you all is forgiven, Will, would you accept his forgiveness?” The double meaning is apparent. Hannibal was asking Will if he would go with him knowing that Hannibal would forgive him. It’s an invitation. One that Will wasn’t sure he wanted to decline.

“Jack isn't offering forgiveness.” Hannibal wanted to say “I am”, but he didn't. “He wants justice. He wants to see you. See who you are. See who I've become. Know the truth.” Will takes another sip of his wine and Hannibal accepts his defeat. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt Will, but it seemed that it would be the only option.

“Still, I suppose we don’t owe Jack that do we?” Will spoke again.

Notes: Okay, I know I rewrote the ending of Mizumono yesterday, but I had this idea while I wrote it and I couldn't help myself.

“Do you know what an imago is, Will?” Hannibal asked.

“It's a flying insect,” Will replied.

“It's the final stage of a transformation. Maturity.”

“When you become who you will be,” Will said, catching on to the point Hannibal was making.

“It's also a term from the dead religion of psychoanalysis. An imago is an image of a loved one buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives.”

“An ideal.”

“The concept of an ideal always searching for an objective reality to match. I have a concept of you just as you have a concept of me.”

“Neither of us are ideal,” Will says after taking a long drink of his wine. Hannibal considered what Will had just said for a moment. He had nearly trusted an ideal. He thought that Will would leave with him until he smelled Freddie Lounds on him. Perhaps Will was right, neither of them were ideal.

“We are both too curious about too many things for any ideals.” Hannibal paused a moment, feeling a twinge of hesitation for what he was about to ask. It was completely out of character for Hannibal to grovel, but in recent weeks he had grown accustomed to the idea of running away with Will, and he wasn’t quite ready to give the fantasy up. “Is it ideal that Jack die?”

Will matched Hannibal’s pause. Most would not even notice the hesitation, but Hannibal did.

“It's necessary. What happens to Jack has been preordained.” Will’s voice was cold, free from any emotion. In any other circumstance Hannibal would be proud of how well he schooled his expression, but now it just frustrated him.

“We could disappear now. Tonight. Feed your dogs. Leave a note for Dr. Bloom, never see her or Jack Crawford again. Almost polite,” Hannibal was nearly begging now and Will knew it. Their eyes locked and at once Will understood. Hannibal knew and he was willing to forgive.

“That'd make this our last supper,” Will said, considering Hannibal’s offer. Now, just days away from the sting that he and Jack had planned, Will still wasn’t sure whose side he was really on. Part of him wanted to be good, he wanted to atone for his sins and clear his name for good, because even though he had been acquitted, there were still those who believed he had actually killed all those people.

The other part of him wanted to become what everyone thought him to be. Though he hated to admit it, he had felt a thrill as he killed and mutilated Randall Tier. Even worse was that now thinking about that feeling didn’t make him feel guilty or sick, only enhanced the adrenaline.

If he was being completely honest, half of the thrill was seeing how Hannibal looked at him when he knew what Will had done. The subtle adoration and pride that he was no doubt allowing Will to see. Hannibal’s gaze made Will feel things, things that he had never felt with anyone before, and he wanted to chase that feeling.

“Of this life. I am serving lamb.”

“Sacrificial? Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.” Will snorted.

“I freely claim my sin. I don't need a sacrifice. Do you?”

“I need him to know.” Will looked into Hannibal’s eyes then, searching for the desperation he could hear in his words. “If I confessed to Jack Crawford now, you think he would forgive me?”

“I would forgive you.” It’s clear that Hannibal’s not talking about the murder, but the betrayal. He would still forgive Will for conspiring against him. “If Jack were to tell you all is forgiven, Will, would you accept his forgiveness?” The double meaning was apparent. Hannibal was asking Will if he would go with him knowing that Hannibal would forgive him. It’s an invitation. One that Will wasn’t sure he wanted to decline.

“Jack isn't offering forgiveness.” Hannibal wanted to say “I am”, but he didn't. “He wants justice. He wants to see you. See who you are. See who I've become. Know the truth.” Will takes another sip of his wine and Hannibal accepts his defeat. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt Will, but it seemed that it would be the only option.

“Still, I suppose we don’t owe Jack that do we?” Will spoke again. Hannibal perked up almost imperceptibly.

“Perhaps a note will be sufficient. I didn’t want to leave the dogs alone, but they’ll be fine for a while. Knowing Jack he’ll send a cruiser to my place within an hour after I don’t show up in the morning.”

“Let us prepare then. I would like to be out of the country before Jack realizes that you are no longer his man on the inside.” Hannibal stood and began gathering plates to bring to the kitchen because of course he would want to leave the house spotless. Will helped him with the dishes and wiping everything down. They caught eyes several times, both revving with the anticipation of what was to come. Will considered apologizing for his conspiracy, but when he looked into Hannibal’s eyes he knew he was already forgiven.

It was a little intoxicating to know that he had this kind of control over hannibal. To know that he made Hannibal beg. He wondered how else he could compel him to beg. That was, once they stopped dancing around the physical aspect of their relationship and finally just fucked like they both wanted to.

Once they were finished they retired to the study to write a note. Hannibal wandered around, collecting particular books and knick knacks that he wanted to bring while Will drafted a note. After much thinking and many balled up pieces of paper, Will finally got it right. When he finished, he handed it to Hannibal to read.

“This will do nicely,” Hannibal said. He slipped the letter into an envelope and sealed it with blood red wax and a stamp that bore his initials.

Will watched as the wax dripped. The flow of the thick liquid was giving him all sorts of dirty thoughts. Thoughts of Hannibal pouring that warm liquid all over his body. Thoughts of being covered in other kinds of red liquid. Will had to take a deep breath to steady himself and bring some blood back up to his head.

When the wax had dried, Hannibal handed the letter to Will, fingers brushing against Will’s skin tenderly.

“I have a surprise for you,” Hannibal said, hand coming to grip Will’s wrist.

“Oh?” Will replied.

“Come with me.” Hannibal led Will upstairs, never letting go of his wrist. Will had only been to the upper floor of Hannibal’s house a few times, and never in the dark, so he didn’t really know where they were going. He had two ideas, one much more enticing than the other, but both equally likely.

As it turned out, neither of his assumptions were correct. Hannibal led him to a closed door at the end of the hallway and knocked.

“May we come in?” He asked. Will didn’t even have time to question who was in there before the door was being opened from the inside. Standing in the doorway was none other than Abigail Hobbs.

“Hi Will,” She said, a small smile playing on her chapped lips.

“Abigail?” Will asked, voice barely audible. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Had Hannibal drugged him? Was he hallucinating?

“How are you here? You’re dead,” Will said.

“Not dead, just misplaced,” Hannibal replied, “they never found a body, well, not a whole body at least. It was merely a charade.”

Abigail tucked her hair back to show Will the flesh where her ear had been. It was healed over by now, but it still brought a wave of bile up in Will’s throat.

“You’ve been here this whole time?” Will asked, choking down the anger that was building in him. There was no sense getting angry now, especially when he was teetering on the edge of a new beginning.

“I’m sorry,” Abigail said, tears welling in her eyes.

“I forgive you,” Will said. Abigail took two big steps forward and wrapped her arms around Will’s middle, burying her tears in his shirt. He brought a hand to her hair and stroked, both soothing her and assuring himself that she was really there and really alive.

“Thank you,” Will whispered to Hannibal. He wasn’t sure what he was thanking him for. Maybe for keeping Abigail alive, maybe for bringing him to her, maybe just because he didn’t know what else to say.

Hannibal’s hand came to rest between Will’s shoulder blades, fingertips shooting electricity down his spine.

“I do not wish to rush you two, but we must be going,” Hannibal said, “there is still much for us to do and little time to do it.”

Abigail pulled back from Will and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, sniffling a few times.

“Will, would you care to help me pack?” Hannibal asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Will cast one last glance at Abigail before following Hannibal to his bedroom.

“Everything in that top drawer must come,” Hannibal said as he set a large suitcase on the bed. Will began transferring the carefully folded garments from the dresser to the suitcase while Hannibal sorted through his suits to find the ones he liked best.

Will and Hannibal's hands brushed for what felt like the 500th time that night as they both attempted to place clothing in the suitcase at the same time. Their eyes met and there was a moment of contemplation before they pounced.

Will dragged Hannibal to the floor and straddled him, hands balling up around fistfulls of Hannibal’s jacket as he pressed their lips together. Hannibal kissed back with equal fervour, hands sliding back to cup Will’s ass. Will moaned into the kiss and rutted his hips against Hannibals. Hannibal bit Will’s lip, not stopping until he drew blood.

They broke away, panting and breathing each other in. Hannibal brought one hand to Will’s cheek and stroked, the pad of his thumb brushing over Will’s parted lips. Will sucked the digit into his mouth, tongue lapping at the sensitive skin.

Will ground his hips down, ass rubbing against Hannibal’s rapidly hardening cock. The older man stared up at him in wonder, lips parted and eyes blown wide. He withdrew his hand, swiping his thumb along the bleeding cut on Will’s lip until the skin was stained red. Then he brought it to his own mouth, his eyes rolling back as he savored the metallic taste of his lover’s blood.

“You taste divine Will,” Hannibal said, deep voice sending tremors through Will’s body. That was it, that was the breaking point for Will.

“Take your fucking clothes off,” He demanded as he scrambled off of Hannibal to remove his own clothes.

“Such crass language,” Hannibal scolded, clicking his tongue disapprovingly, “whatever should I do about that?”

Hannibal was trying his best to regain some of the power he had lost in this exchange. Will would let him believe that he did, if only to sate his ego, but Will knew deep down that he was in control. He had known since before Hannibal had pleaded with him that he was in control here. Hannibal had several layers to his persona. The first was the polite, yet slightly eccentric doctor who loved good food and opera, behind that was the calculating psychopath cold, and emotionless. His true personality was hidden deep within himself, but Will was able to see it, after all, he had not yet met a person he couldn’t read.

The person that Hannibal truly was was driven by his emotions. Anger and hurt bubbled under his skin, suppressed by years of burying everything akin to a feeling deep below the surface. He was intensely narcissistic and hedonistic. Everything he did was to fulfill his desires. He ate to satiate his hunger, he killed to assuage a compulsion. He acted solely in his own self interests, and right now Will was his interest. That gave Will ultimate power over Hannibal. He wanted Will in every sense of the word, and would do nearly everything to have him.

Perhaps what solidified Will’s control was the fact that he was aware of this while Hannibal wasn’t. Hannibal had spent so much effort repressing feelings that he genuinely believed that they were never there in the first place. Will knew about Hannibal’s nature, not from the beginning, no he was fooled like everyone else at first, but certainly longer than he let on. He only raised the issue with Jack when he was in danger.

Will put on the facade of being overly emotional, of being unstable, but deep down he was something different entirely. That’s why he was so good at “faking” the coldness he showed with Hannibal, it was never fake, the emotions were fake, and Hannibal was none the wiser. This was Will’s game and Hannibal was barely aware he was playing.

“Will?” Hannibal asked, pulling Will from his thoughts. He kneeled in front of him, now fully nude, his erection jutting out proudly from a bed of well trimmed blonde curls.

“Fuck me,” Will insisted, trying to pass his momentary spacyness off as fascination with the admittedly impressive cock that hung between Hannibal’s legs.

“As you wish.” Yes, as Will wishes. Hannibal will do exactly as Will wishes.

Will doesn’t wait for any more negotiations. He turns around and sinks to his elbows, thighs spread wide to accommodate Hannibal. He heard the older man’s breath catch as Will displayed himself.

“Oh Will, you truly are exquisite. Beauty incarnate.” Hannibal mused. Will watched between his legs as Hannibal reached into the bedside table for a bottle of lube. Hannibal poured the lube onto his fingers, then pressed them to Will’s hole, tracing the rim to get it nice and wet.

Will buried his face in his crossed arms to stifle a moan. The last thing he needed was for Hannibal to know exactly how sensitive he actually was and to exploit that fact. They didn’t have much time and Will was really just looking to be fucked.

Finally, one finger breached Will. It slid in with little resistance and Hannibal added a second. His thumb came to press against Will’s perineum as he scissored his fingers. Will let out a choked sob when Hannibal’s other hand tangled in his hair and pulled his head up sharply.

“I want to hear you Will. I want to hear exactly how much you like this.”

“God, just fuck me already Hannibal,” Will begged, “I’m ready, just get in me.”

Hannibal withdrew his fingers at once. Will didn’t even have a chance to get a word out before Hannibal was pressing his cock inside.

“There you go sweet boy, taking my cock so well, like you were made for it. Like you were born to take me.”

Will had never heard Hannibal speak so lewdly before, but he liked it more than he would ever care to admit. Not that he even could right now with Hannibal thrusting into him with punishing force, hitting his prostate every time.

Hannibal still had one hand in Will’s hair. The other was gripping his hip so tight he would undoubtedly have finger shaped bruises in the morning. He brought his lips down to Will’s shoulder, placing a few gentle kisses there, and that would simply not do. Will needed him to be rough, he needed to be fucked hard.

“Harder,” Will grunted, “come on Hannibal, you can do better than that. Do it like I know you want to. Hurt me.”

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Hannibal panted.

“Fuck yes, give it to be Hannibal, fucking ruin me.”

Hannibal complied immediately, using all of the force he could to pound into Will like he was trying to split him clean in half. He bit down hard on Will’s shoulder, just short of drawing blood.

Will rocked back to meet every thrust, letting out a litany of pathetic noises that he probably should have been embarrassed about. Hannibal was groaning now too, grunting like a beast in Will’s ear as he shoved in impossibly deeper.

Will’s orgasm was so sudden, he didn’t even feel it coming. In an instant his body went rigid as white hot pleasure coiled in his abdomen and he came completely untouched.

After coming for what felt like hours, he dropped to the floor, thighs shaking too hard to support himself any longer.

Once he had caught his breath, Will rolled over onto his back and spread his legs.

“Keep going,” he told Hannibal, “I want you to use me to make yourself come.”

Hannibal didn’t need to be told twice before sliding back into Will. He hoisted the younger man’s knees up over his shoulders to get a better angle as he slammed in over and over again.

At last, Hannibal gave a final hard thrust and spilled inside Will, coating his insides with his seed. He pulled out and laid on the floor next to him, breathing hard and trembling.

“I would have run away with you a long time ago if I had known that was in store for me,” Will panted, struggling to sit up.

“If I saw you every day, forever, Will, I would remember this time,” Hannibal said, reaching over to brush a lock of curly hair behind his ear.

Will smiled and kissed Hannibal again. It was softer this time, full of much more affection, especially on Hannibal’s behalf.

“I would sit here with you for eternity Will, but I fear that we must leave soon. We would not want to keep Abigail waiting.” Hannibal said when they pulled away.

“Of course, but first will you promise me something?”

“What is it that you desire?”

“Do that again as soon as we get to wherever we’re going.” Hannibal grinned and cupped Will’s cheek.

“I would gladly have you every day, my dear Will.”

Notes: Listen, we all know who's actually in control and this relationship and it's not Hannibal "Simp" Lecter.

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

Always (or Dani, the collector of souls falls in love and Miles keeps passing out during the entire story)

If you were, hypothetically, of course, to visit a place in England called Bly Manor, you would most likely meet an odd group of people. You would see two children, one an absolute angel, the other a teenage, snarky brat of a boy, who are probably being supervised by a stern, yet extremely capable looking woman. You would probably be shown around the house by the sweetest housekeeper in the world, probably be offered lemon cakes by a tall man who looks at the aforementioned housekeeper with all the stars in his eyes. And maybe, just maybe in the middle of it all, you might glance outside and see a woman standing by herself in the garden. At first you would think she’s just moving casually, maybe dancing on her own; and then you would see that her movement has a pattern. It almost seems as though.... no, it couldn’t be.  

“Is that woman,” you would ask, hesitantly, not wishing to offend these people and some potential strange ritual of theirs, “talking to herself?”

The housekeeper (Hannah, you think she’s called) glances outside and chuckles. “Oh, that,” she says. “That’s just Jamie. Jaime’s the gardener. She’s just talking to her girlfriend.”

You would resist the urge to rub at your eyes. “Her.... her girlfriend?”

“Well, technically Dani hasn’t asked her yet,” the cook cuts in, smiling. “But it’s on the way, I assure you.”

You would look from the strange, solitary woman, to their frank, open faces, and then back to the solitary woman again, and you would think.

You would think Why, these people are absolutely fucking bonkers.

*****

(They’re really not)

*****

The first time Jamie saw the woman, it was from across the grounds, which is why it took her crossing halfway the distance to realize that she was breakdancing.

Then again, she had also got other things on her mind. Peter Fucking Quint had to go and fall off the parapet while attempting to rob the Wingraves of their old jewelry the night before last, and between helping Hannah communicate with the police, ensuring Owen received an adequate number of head pats every hour to calm him down, and offering Rebecca a listening ear for both murderous rants and angry tears, she had her hands completely full. And that wasn’t even including the kids, although they seemed to be doing fairly alright. Thankfully they had not seen the body. However, that didn’t deter Miles, who was currently going through a bit of a Hannibal phase, from popping up at random intervals to ask her what broken bones looked like, or if the blood had frozen overnight.

All in all, pretty exhausting.

Which is why the sight of the children standing in front of a breakdancing woman didn’t register at first. She was pulling out the weeds, sun high in the sky, sweat tracing an uncomfortable path down her back when something made her look up. One double take, and she was scrambling in their direction.

She reached them, panting, raised her head after her breath was a little more even and looked right at the woman, who was currently doing the robot. “Um,” she started, unsure of where to go from there. “Are — are you quite alright?”

The woman stopped abruptly, her mouth falling open. “You can see me?”

Okay, this woman was clearly mental. “Yes?”

The woman looked even more astounded. “You really can?” she turned to Flora next. “You too?”

Flora blinked. “Yes, we can.”

“But that’s impossible! You shouldn’t be able to see me. In fact—”

“Jaime, darling,” Miles cut in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of a rapidly delivered monologue. “Could you escort this.... clearly insane lady outside?”

Jaime thwack-ed the side of his head gently. “Wanna try that again? Nicely?”

He looked sheepish. Not really a bad kid, that one, she thought. Just annoying.

“But you really shouldn’t be able to see me. By all calculations, it’s completely—”

“Well, why not?” Miles asked, now having warmed to the idea of possibly talking to someone who was crazy.

The woman brightened up. “Well, because,” she said, “this, I guess.”

And then she snapped her fingers, disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the lake, where she waved at them excitedly.

Flora is the only one who waved back. Jamie was too busy supporting the weight of a now-collapsed Miles.

*****

Jamie thought it was patently unfair that the reaper of souls was just so damn cute.

(They weren’t supposed to be cute! They were supposed to look gaunt and hollow, and angry and sad, not like sunshine wrapped up in a very human looking package. They weren’t supposed to be walking around with bright, blue, gorgeous eyes, and faces that seemed to have been sculpted by some divine power up there, and a voice that was sweet and soothing enough to put Jamie right to sleep.)

“It’s amazing how all of you can see me,” the reaper of souls, or Dani, as she had introduced herself, said, looking wide-eyed at all of them. Rebecca and a recently awakened Miles were the only ones who looked actively concerned, standing in the corner. Owen and Hannah were, as ever, polite and pleasant, if a little curious. Flora was already settled in next to Dani, asking her questions a mile a minute. And Jamie was—

(Very fucking annoyed at how pretty Dani was)

—completely alright.

“And you’re here to get Peter?” Owen asked her, with a sideways look in Rebecca’s direction.

“Oh yes,” Dani replied. “And boy, was that man a pain. Really whiny. Went all Boohoo I can’t be dead, I’m supposed to do so many things, I’m so cool and awesome and. Ugh. Annoying is what he was. I mean, the list says Peter Quint — died while trying to steal from Bly Manor; what am I supposed to do?”

They all nodded, a little dazed.

“And then I saw the kids and I was bored and I thought they couldn’t see me anyways so,” she continued, and then looked down, suddenly a little shy. “I really am sorry about the.... you know, breakdancing. I honestly thought nobody could see me.”

“It’s okay, it was cute,” Jamie found herself saying before she had time to process, and then wanted to stab herself with the fork lying on the table. If that didn’t work, bang her head on the surface until she bled to death. Or—

“Thank you,” Dani said, equally as quiet.

Jamie closed her eyes, willed her body to fall dead right then and there.

(It didn't work, unfortunately)

“Would you like to stay for supper?” he heard Owen ask their guest.

“Supper?” Dani asked. “Wait, is it already that late?”

Jamie looked up a moment later, when she heard everybody scream and then she opened her eyes to see a stranger standing right near the stove.

“Viola!” Dani said, alarmed. “I thought I sent a message I was gonna be late.”

The woman looked very haughty, very angry and (this is something she hated to admit, again, but) very fucking hot. Seriously. What was with these underworld people and ridiculously angelic skin? Her gaze moved past all of them, came to rest on Dani.

“I got your message alright,” she announced, blithely. “Just couldn’t figure out why you were still here.”

Dani chuckled, nervously. “So, funny story, but as it turns out — these people can — uh, see us?”

Viola tilted her head, regarded her. “Are you sure?”

“Hello,” Hannah said, ever the gracious host. “Welcome to Bly Manor.”

Viola looked flabbergasted now, doing a double take to look at all of them more carefully.

“They can see us?”

Dani nodded, gingerly.

“Seriously?”

Another nod.

“But that can’t be—”

“—Viola, I know, but—”

“—it simply cannot be allowed—”

“—absolutely not I know what you’re thinki—”

“—We have to end them!”

There was another whoosh right next to Jamie’s ear, and she took her time, turning around, only to see another pissed-off, hot woman, standing in the kitchen, her arms crossed.

“I didn’t even say kill!” Viola protested.

“You implied it!”

Their standoff was interrupted by a violent, abrupt thud. It seemed Miles had fainted again.

*****

Jamie walked into the greenhouse, paused and smiled.

“You cannot surprise me,” she said, aloud.

There was movement behind her, and then Dani walked into view.

“How do you always know I’m here?”

Jamie stayed quiet. There wasn’t a good, less-embarrassing way to say The air dances when you’re around, or I can feel your presence in the back of my neck, in the way my heart starts skipping steps on whatever treadmill it is currently running on.  

“Let me keep my secrets,” she answered.

Dani stayed beside her, as she started on the rose plants, a safe distance away, safe enough for Jamie to not feel like she would combust. “I got you something.”

“You’ve already given me so many things,” Jamie told her, hand rubbing at the back of her neck. It was true. Every time Dani had dropped in the past month, she’d brought little trinkets from her travels all over the world.  

(Travels was an excellent way of describing the action of harvesting the grumpy souls of the dead)

One time there had been crepes from Paris, courtesy the tourist guide who passed of a heart attack in a café. Another time it was one of Cerberus’ treats, because Jamie was eternally curious as to what hell dogs actually ate. The bone had been framed and now lay on one of her shelves back at home. One day, she had gotten macarons that Owen had scarfed down before Dani could get around to telling him they were filled with the eternal cries of the dead.

(He’d spent the entire day walking around convinced he was going to die. The doctor said it was indigestion)

She opened the neatly wrapped box and picked up the pomegranate. Turned it around in her hand, examined it.

“Aren’t these supposed to tie me down to the Underworld forever?” she asked, only half-serious.

“Gosh, no,” Dani said, nervously chuckling. “These are not that kind.”

Jamie waited.

“Um, so these,” Dani went on, “these seeds are kind of multi-purpose things? So basically you can eat them, but these seeds, when planted, they can grow any plant in the world. Doesn’t matter what soil they’re on. I mean, I heard you mention that flower you’ve always wanted to grow, but England doesn’t have the climate suited to it and — well. This would work.”

If Jamie could speak, this is what she would have said: I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t know why you’re here, why you give me so much of your precious time, time that you could be walking around the whole world in. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around me, how to breathe, how to look, and I’m an utter godforsaken mess, but I’m eternally grateful you barged into our lives a while ago. I don’t know what I was doing before you came. I hope you never leave.

She would have said I know you collect souls, but there’s at least one heart lying in that bag of yours, and there’s a good chance it’s mine.

As it is, all she did was grab onto Dani’s hand, and squeeze.

*****

“You have got to stop doing that!” Owen gasped, hand on his heart.

Dani shrugged from on where she was now perched on top of the table, sitting directly in front of an open-mouthed Miles. “Hannah always knows when I’m here.”

“That’s because I really do have eyes everywhere,” Hannah turned around, smiled brightly at Dani. “Spaghetti?”

“I’ve been asking you for the past five minutes!” Jamie said, indignantly.

“Well, now we know who’s her favorite,” Dani shoots an infuriatingly smug grin in her direction, and pats the top of her head and—

Jamie would feel annoyed if her heart wasn’t racing and there wasn’t a blush fighting to make its way up her cheeks. This love thing was annoying.

(Not that it was love, of course. Certainly not)

“As charming as that sounds, Hannah darling,” Dani continued, “I actually came for a purpose.”

“Is it to set murderers on us again?”

“No, Miles,” Dani replied, patiently. “Plus, Viola and Perdita wouldn’t really have.... killed you. Maimed you, at best.”

Rebecca shuddered delicately on the other side of the table.

“Remember when you said you’d had a bit of a dinosaur phase when you were a kid?” Dani directed this towards Jamie.

“... yes?”

“Well,” Dani snapped her fingers, and to their extreme horror, a parrot sized creature appeared next to her, “meet Battery!”

“—completely house trained,” she heard Dani explaining to Hannah, while she extended a hand towards (what was he called? Right) Battery. He opened his mouth, stepped closer, licked the entire length of her finger with a long, slimy tongue, and then immediately nipped at her nail.

(Jamie may or may not be helplessly charmed)

Before she could say anything, however, Miles fell from his chair onto the kitchen floor.

Rebecca sighed, got up from her chair. “You guys know there’s going to be permanent brain damage if he keeps doing that.”

*****

About three things went wrong the day Jamie decided she was finally going to tell Dani she was in love with her.

The first thing was that she needed to get drunk, and decided to trust Owen and Hannah to deliver. The second was that Battery wasn’t adequately educated in the intricacies of human weirdness and tended to panic at the first sign of strange behavior. Third, lakes weren’t the most romantic places to confess your love, but apparently nobody had told Jamie this.

So when she found herself flailing for breath after having somehow made her way to the middle of the lake in a makeshift lifeboat and then having upturned it in the process, she only had herself to blame.

“What,” Dani started, looking absolutely furious, hair all over the place as she held Jamie up, “the fuck were you doing in the middle of the lake?”

“Hey!” Jamie sang, because the alcohol was making her feel very sing-song-y, “You shouldn’t be here yet! It’s not time!”

“Battery panicked and summoned me,” Dani explained. “Are — are you drunk?”

“No, she’s not!” Hannah called out from where she and Owen had just reached the lake. “We gave her loads of strong bitter soda and convinced her it was watered down whiskey.”

(Now that she was thinking about it, the whiskey had seemed pretty fizzy for her liking)

“Oh,” she Jamie, now sobered up. “But I was drowning.”

“Yeah, in about five feet of water.”

Well, that was anticlimactic.

*****

At midnight, she sat by the lake, covered in a warm, fuzzy blanket Dani had draped all over her. Dani sat beside her, Battery on her lap, smiling at her from time to time.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, out of nowhere, and Jamie didn’t have the heart to disagree. “What am I even going to do with you?”

“You could,” Jamie started, ponderously, like she hadn’t spent three months of her life thinking this over, like her heart wasn’t an over-excited ping-pong in her chest right now, “you could always take me out on a date, you know?”

“Really?” Dani murmured. “Well, that’s a novel idea.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Depends. Would you be okay dating someone who is almost constantly grumpy from carrying around beleaguered souls all day?”  

Jamie pretended to think. “I think so, yes.”

“Someone who regularly hangs out with a murder-friendly woman?”

“.... maybe?”

“How about someone who may have to keep going away for lengths of time?”

Jamie turned to her. “Would that someone come back to me, though?”

Dani’s eyes were shiny and hopeful, and she felt her breath get stuck in her throat like a lovesick little fool. “Always,” Dani whispered.

“Well, then,” Jamie whispered back to her, and then leaned in for the most picture-perfect happy ending of all time.

[hannigramrecs]

You know any fics where Will agrees to run away with Hannibal back when he asked him the first time?

Hi Anon!

I’ve got several right here, and you can always search for “Fix-it” in the tags on this blog: 

Sub Rosa by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe),printersdeadly, printersdevils (tuesdaysgone) Rating: Explicit Length: 8,979 Canon Verse, S2 fix-it Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter eat ortolans, but the evening doesn't end there. Post-Ko No Mono canon divergence because...well, who needs an excuse, right?

My Notes: Will makes the decision whose side he’s on and confesses to Hannibal

__________

Hear Me Father, For I Have Sinned by AnonymouslyDead Rating: teen/General Audicences Length: 1,004 Cann Verse, S2 Fix-it Fix It Fic for the season 2 Last Supper Will expresses some concerns to Hannibal about running off together only for Hannibal to shed some light on the situation

My notes: Hannibal reveals his hand so will confesses

__________

Lie in the Sound by raiast Rating: Explicit Length: 3,614 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it Following the intense ortolan dinner, Will finds himself admitting to truths he had dared not consider and helpless to the pull of Hannibal. A little what-if number where Will stops being an idiot and he and Hannibal get together much sooner.

My Notes: Will decides and confesses

__________

Lover to your nightmare (look what you made of me) by merrythoughts, ReallyMissCoffee Rating: Explicit Length: 123,637 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it Driving back home, it’s then he reflects on Hannibal asking him to run away that night. To forgo their plans altogether, to slip away. [Canon divergent. Will confesses his betrayal and asks Hannibal to run away with him, but Will has a plan of his own...]

My notes: I HAVEN’T READ THEIS ONE YET!

__________

Untouched by dancey94 Rating: Mature Length: 4,197 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it "We could disappear now. Tonight." What if Will decided to run away with Hannibal?

My notes: Confessions, Murder family running away together

__________

Forgiveness by rachelthesquid Rating: Explicit Length: 4,533 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it Will decides to run away with Hannibal, but first he has to repair broken trust and earn forgiveness.

My Notes: Hannibal confronts Will on his lies and they fuck

__________

Who Are We To Judge? by ilovewrighting Rating: Mature Length: 33,486 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it “Okay,” Will said, suddenly. “Okay?” Hannibal echoed, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Let’s go. Tonight. I’m ready.” Will said, his gaze serious. “Do you really feel that way?” Hannibal asked, slowly, calculating. “And everything that it entails?” Will nodded slowly. “And everything that it entails.” * This story picks up when Hannibal asks Will to run away with him the night before the events of Mizuomono. Will says yes, instead of saying no, and they prepare to leave and start their new lives together. Hannibal has one surprise for Will before they leave... Canon divergence after Tome Wan, s2 e12. The murder family takes on the world together.

(Link to post here)

My Notes: They run away together, Murder Family

__________

And Achilles cried, "My Sweet Patroclus"by sweetNsimple Rating: Mature Length: 3,702 Canon Verse, Dark!Will, S2 Fix-it Hannibal was quiet as he slowly took a drink from his wine. “Tell the truth, then. And all its consequences.” How he looked down and away as he returned the wine to the table was telling.   The revelation within Will took form and a name. Hannibal was begging. But what could make the great and powerful, the psychopathic and narcissistic Dr. Hannibal Lecter, beg? ‘He knows,’ Will realized with a sense of resignation. A sense of relief.

(Link to post here)

My notes: Fix-it, hannibal really loves Will, Abigail survives, Abigail lives, murder husbands, murder family (but no mentioned murder), Sexual Content is implied

__________

The Miseducation of Abigail Hobbs by cavaleira Rating: general / teen Length: 7,604 Canon Verse, Murder Husbands In which the Murder Family stays together, and Abigail learns some valuable life lessons.

(Link to post here)

My notes: murder husbands, fix-it, Abigail is alive, Abigail survives, murder family, Will decides to take Hannibal’s offer to “just disappear”

__________

A Gentler Ending by damnslippyplanet Rating: mature Length: 8,330 Canon Verse, Season 2 Fix-it Perhaps what is called for is nothing so simple and clean as separation or joining. It will have to be a field amputation, of sorts. Fast and brutal, and neither of them entirely whole afterwards. But, perhaps, survivable. He will have his dogs and some shredded version of his life back. Maybe he’ll move somewhere warm, and leave no forwarding address. Maybe Abigail will stay in her grave instead of following him. Hannibal will have music and art and blood, freedom somewhere far away. If Will makes the cut clean enough, Hannibal may keep his distance. People have built new lives on less, surely.  Or: A little Digestivo fix-it fic because sometimes you just want your beloved characters to USE their WORDS and avoid several more years of pain.

(Link to post here)

My notes: fix-it, it’s all in the summary to be honest

__________

Also, even though it doesn't fully fit your as, one of my favourites where Will comes to a decision: 

The Long Weekend by Devereauxs_Disease Rating: Explicit Length: 42,807 Canon Verse, S2 Fix-it Feed your dogs, leave a note for Alana. It had been such a tempting offer, one that buzzed around in Will's mind. He responded on instinct, pressing his mouth to Hannibal's. Then, he ran for all he was worth... When Hannibal finally finds him, he makes a proposal: Spend one weekend together, and make a decision once and for all about his and Hannibal's fate. Can Will still play Hannibal to get the evidence he and Jack need? Or is he playing a new game now?

My Notes: One of my favs, S2 fix it, they spend time together so Will can decide what he wants, Hannibal knows about the betrayal, Will knows he knows

__________ That’s all I have for now, I hope it’s what you were looking for!

If anyone knows more fics that fit the description, feel free to add them in the comments, I’ll put them in!

-Angel

[yakumtsaki]

Welcome, dear readers, to the much anticipated Union Season 1 finale, featuring the diverse cast of well-developed characters we’ve all come to love, such as cheating whore #1, cheating whore #2, and my personal favorite, cheating whore #3. Also starring purple Hannibal Lecter, Melody Tinker’s sunglasses, and Leon Trotsky. Last update saw the erotic tension between resident porn-king Gunther and his brother’s intended, Regina George Brittany Upsnott finally boil over, leading to this harrowing image:

GOOD TIMES. Let’s pick up right where we left off..

.. namely precious Gunther immediately jumping into bed with Melody not two minutes after his close encounter of the Brit kind. Guns has been suspiciously loyal and un-gross ever since we moved out of the dorms, but apparently his goal for senior year is to out-worst everyone else in the house. What a comeback!

Meanwhile Brit is depressingly bowling her frustrations away under the unforgiving desert sky. Whaddup Brit, you must be dealing with some pretty complicated emotions right now.

-What?? No way, I’m totally, totally fine!

I mean sure, why wouldn’t you be, it’s not like you’ve fucked literally everything up. After spending half of college dealing with fucking HaremGate all I wanted was an uneventful senior year I could speed through, but that would be too easy now, WOULDN’T IT.

-The pins are you well-laid out plans for the future!

UGH Brit seriously, this isn’t happening. As in we’re gonna pretend it literally never happened, you’re gonna marry Daniel, Gunther is gonna marry Mel, everyone will live happily ever after and that’s the last I’m gonna hear of this bullshit.

BRIT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

-I’m just heartfarting, GAWD

Yea you’re also about to fucking serenade him in front of Mel, have you legit lost your mind??? Is this how the rest of this year will go, me chasing you around cancelling your dumbass actions?

-Probably! lolol!

-Aww Brit, if there was an award for best couple, we would definitely win it <3

-Oh please, Gunther and I have you totally beat!

-Yea right Mel, bet you §10 me and Brit are gonna move in together before you and Gunther do!

-…So how you liking that pizza, Gunther?

-…Oh it’s good, Brit, thanks for asking.

Meanwhile it looks like my restless Jojo/Wyatt reconciliation efforts have finally borne fruit! Good job, Wyatt!

-It’s no job, I’m just following mon coeur!

Nice, follow it all the way to redemption!

YASSSS. I can’t stress enough how many times Wyatt had to apologize to get us to this point, I’m talking half their awake time for 3 days. God. The whole thing has been an extremely repetitive nightmare but finally we can put it to rest. Much like we put Frances! BURN IN HELL

Finally, the universe has responded to my desperate pleas. I will even forgive the creepy ass llama because for once the cheering is completely appropriate. Reunited and it feels so good! Especially for me because if I had to press the apologize button one more time istg.

Well.. The universe giveth and the universe taketh away. Literally can’t leave these dicks unsupervised for more than a minute before they start slutting it up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

-Oh oh oh oh oh OH, caught in a bad romance <3

STOP SINGING INTO EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS. It’s time for drastic measures. Gunther is obviously unfamiliar with the concept of decency but maybe there’s still hope for Brittany..

..especially after Daniel gives her a high-class romantic evening! Looking great, Dan. Please stop picking your teeth.

-I’m so uncomfortable, my hair hasn’t seen the light of day since I was a toddler! I’m putting my cap back on.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Also suppress your gag reflex + every instinct in your body because it’s time-

-to hit Londoste! OOH LA LA

-Brit, I feel like we’re.. ridiculously overdressed.

-No such thing, darling!

-I’ll be having the filet mignon and a glass of the Veronaville ‘64, thank you.

-And I’ll be having chicken nuggets and a detailed report of the working conditions in this bourgie hellhole.

-DANIEL YOU PROMISED

-Let’s raise a glass to us and our magical evening together-

-Yes, and this delicious food, stained with the tears of the working farmhand-

-Daniel, please.

-My beloved ice queen, even though the diamond engagement ring “tradition” is another completely made up, SHAMELESS CAPITALIST SCAM, I just couldn’t bear the thought of wounding your gigantic, aggressively materialistic ego.. Marry me, my darling, be my Nadezhda!

-OH baby of course I’ll marry you! Everything before this moment doesn’t count, right?

-I mean.. sure?

-Great!

Yes, what a wonderful, subtle night.

-Oh Brit, you make me the happiest worker alive, which of course is a completely paradoxical state under capitalism!

AWW MEANT TO BE <3 Finally we can put that gross, freckled chapter behind us.

THAT’S RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN

-WOOO congrats for not cheating for an entire day, Gunther!

Our greek house is currently at a pathetic level 3 and it’s not hard to see why. As if the graves of Jojo’s former flames weren’t enough to put people off, imagine walking by and seeing this.

This shit is still going on and has reached the hate-boner point where these two have permanent wants to see each other’s ghost. So much for nice points!

Also going on: this bizzare, inexplicable feud that appeared literally out of nowhere.

-SHUT UP WYATT MAGIC ISN’T REAL

-IT SO IS MAGIQUE IS ALL AROUND US

Finals are upon us! Only one semester of this fuckery left. There are of course two kinds of people, the kind pictured above..

..and my peeps.

Gunther, who hasn’t done anything college related since we were back in the dorms and Blue Meatballs et al were writing his papers, somehow still has a 4.0 gpa. Wow Gunther, what’s your secret??

-It’s no secret, I banged the half-alien professor.

Oh right lmao. You’re looking pretty down boo, what’s wrong?

-Man idk, I’m struggling with what might be like.. legit feelings for Brit.

WHAT. WELL PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM GUNTHER AND DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY LIKE AN ADULT. GOD

YOU TOO BRITTANY. ISTFG YOU ASSHOLES ARE NOT FUCKING THIS UP ANY FURTHER.

CAUSE HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST PERSON WHO WENT OFF SCRIPT. Looking good, Fran!

…………………………poor Brittany obviously suffered a stroke at some unspecified point in time. As if she didn’t have enough problems.

SO. CLOSE. We just have to get through this one semester without the entire charade imploding, is that too much to ask????

APPARENTLY YES. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER

-The heart wants what it wants.

What DOES it want tho, Selena, cause last time I checked you were in love with Mel you GIANT ASS

-Yea, hell if I know! Huhu!

IF I HEAR YOU PEOPLE HUHU ONE MORE TIME

In equally distressing news Mickey Dosser was passing by and I invited him in just to see if he would go straight for the bubbles, which he of course did..

..a move so irresistible that Wyatt had to stop and swoon over him literally in the middle of his millionth Jojo apology. I’ve honestly never had a sim court death as persistently as Wyatt, dude straight up WANTS TO DIE.

-HOW DARE YOU WALTZ IN HERE AND TRY TO SEDUCE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES YOU VILE DISGUSTING SLOB

-Wut

-GET. OUT. BEFORE I STUFF YOU AND PUT YOU ON MY PORCH FOR HALLOWEEN

-Wyatt.. I sensed it was you.

-Of course, Jojό <3 I got your message, why did you send a raven, I’m just upstairs-

-SILENCE. I invited you here, to my favorite place on this entire wretched planet, the center around which revolves my very existence..

-..to ask you a very important question that I want you to CAREFULLY consider, taking into account that you’re standing next to the graves of the last people to betray me..

-Wyatt Monif, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which despite all my struggles and your whoring around, has overcome every rational objection, and I beg you most fervently to relieve my suffering and consent to be my husband. Also to please ignore my brother woohooing in the hot tub behind us and ruining the moment.

-MON DIEU JOJÓ, OUI, OUI A THOUSAND TIMES OUI!! <3

-Wyatt.

-Oui? <3

-Please don’t make me murder you, ok? Promise?

-Never, Jojό!

AW, what a beautiful engagement you guys, I’m tearing up.

AND FINALLY, IT’S OVER. Gunther seriously graduated summa cum laude, how in the fucking world I legit dk but whatever!

The last supper.. The Union bros have all graduated and I’m gonna speed-play the rest through their last year. Also Daniel and Melody are bffs now, I didn’t even know they were talking but nice.

Time to go back where we came from! Ah, all grown up. It seems like yesterday they were toddlers surviving on cat food.

Brit is the youngest of the bunch and has the whole house to herself after Mel and Wyatt graduate, a situation she takes advantage of by ALMOST CHEATING WITH THE FUCKING LLAMA. BRIT ISTG

Finally, it’s time for Brit to leave our gross, incestuous cocoon. We’re gonna need a placeholder for the next generation tho, so as much as it pains me to say..

..it’s Frances time. Bitch literally scares Brit as she’s trying to resurrect him, way to make me doubt my merciful decision Fran!

Ugh great. Welcome back, Frances. I really did prefer you dead.

Yea, can’t make any promises there. I don’t know what kind of wave of kindness overcame me, but I felt bad for Fran being all alone so…

-I’M BACK BITCHES

Can’t believe we wasted 20k on these assholes but whatever. Time to grow up, Brit!

Oh yea, looking good! Taking the ‘on Wednesdays we wear pink’ rule to extreme lengths.

And we’re out of here, leaving the place in the capable hands of Fran and Ti-Ning, who immediately reconnect for a hot tub celebration of life.

So normally you’d think that would be the end of it and we’d get to the heir vote, right? RIGHT?

WRONG. Please bear with me through this incredible bullshit. So I’m taking the heir vote portraits, specifically Jojo’s, and everyone else is hanging around on the edges of this empty photoshoot lot, when suddenly the fight cloud appears. At first I think it’s Wyatt/Daniel aka business as usual but then I make the horrifying discovery that it’s.. DANIEL/BRIT.

As expected, the MINUTE I looked away, Gunther/Brit went for it in plain sight, leading to the eruption of a massive shitshow. I’m like ok w/e we’re basically in pre-heir vote limbo so it doesn’t count, I’ll just quit without saving. But THEN I take a look at Daniel’s panel.. AND SEE THIS:

I’ve literally no idea WTF HAPPENED, HOW IT HAPPENED, WHY, WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE but the fact is that right after catching Gunther/Brit cheating, Melody and Daniel somehow got together even though they have never given any indication of being into each other and have one sole pathetic bolt. My best guess is 4-nice-points Melody went for it as a revenge but seriously WHAT THE FUCK

GOOD TIMES. At this point I’m obviously even more like ‘I’M GONNA QUIT WITHOUT SAVING’ so I’m just taking these pics for shits and giggles, but THEN I look at Gunther’s panel… and see probably the most disturbing want I’ve ever come across:

OK THEN. Reminder that Gunther’s secondary is PLEASURE so there’s literally no explanation for this shit except for legit. true love. As much planning as I did for these couples I’m like who am I to refuse A ROMANCE SIM’S engagement want???? I mean I also planned for Jojo to marry Frances and we all saw how that went. So I decide to save the game, even though it’s kinda unorthodox since it didn���t happen during actual gameplay but w/e, you just can’t ignore shit like that!!

So I revisit the lot the next day and am faced with a shitshow of cosmic proportions. The whole thing is like a bizzaro parallel universe, I mean you have Brit and Dan legit looking like they crossed over from the set of NLL..

..Gunther and Mel heartfarting over each other while also wanting to beat each other up..

..this torrid affair out in the open..

..AND WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. I changed their turn-ons and now they have 3 bolts cause it felt like they really got the short end of the stick but I still can’t get over this bullshit happening in the first place. At least Jojo and Wyatt are having a good time! I guess at this point there’s only one thing left to do..

..simultaneous break ups! The couple that dumps their fiances together stays together.

Moving on to simultaneous crying/sighs of relief. If it seems like I’m halfassing this by not writing any dialogue it’s because I am, but I legit can’t, the whole situation is just too absurd to dramatize.

And now to complete the wife-swap..

Incredible. Now, hold on to your seats, everyone.. because the red ring memory..

IS NOT GUNTHER’S. WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL. BRIT GOT A RED RING FROM HER ROMANCE SECONDARY BUT SOMEHOW GUNTHER DIDN’T??? Honestly I’m hardly a romantic but. TRUE LOVE. Or a glitch. Let’s go with true love.

And there you have it. The end of generation 1, which will live in the annals of history as the one where literally no one ended up with the person I had in mind for them and I might as well haven’t been there for all the control I had over these assholes.

NOW. TIME TO VOTE.

WHO WILL IT BE????

Head over to my lj for a handy guide to voting + the link to the poll. Thank you all for reading! <3

[carrioncrowned-blog]

The Ghosts in the Garden

a @hannibalcreative #ForBothOfUs collab with @electrarhodes 

Read on AO3

The first time Hannibal notices something amiss it's all to do with his favourite baby-blue and passion-flower striped shirt. When he wears it Will always looks at him as though he might be god. And then usually proceeds to follow the look up with some quite decent worship.

 “Will? Have you seen the belle-blue pinstripe?”

 “Laundry”

 “I've looked there. There's no sign”

 Hannibal comes into the kitchen and looks over to where Will is sitting grumbling over the most recent speculation from TattleCrime.

 “Will? The belle-blue?”

 Will looks up at him,

 “Did you send another recipe to Freddie, Hannibal? We talked about this. I thought we'd agreed?”

 “Will? The shirt?”

 Will pays slightly better attention, Hannibal standing in the kitchen dressed except for his shirt. It's an appealing sight.

 “I still don't know. Sorry. Want me to help you find another? You know? In the bedroom?”

 He grins and at first Hannibal is still too distracted to really register the dropped timbre of Will’s voice and careful survey.

 “I'm supposed to be in the City in forty minutes. I can find a shirt. I just wondered… oh. In the bedroom? That's… thank you Will. Your assistance would be much appreciated”

 Will slides off the kitchen bar stool.

 “That's the fourth thing this month you’ve mislaid”

 Hannibal frowns. It's true. He pauses just for a moment, what was that? Was that? Laughter?

“It's good Hannibal. Really. It's. Good”

 “But not excellent?”

Will sighs. Of all the things he might have guessed of course it's his cooking that Hannibal gets just the tiniest bit insecure about.

 That cute little tum? Not a blip. The silver glints in his hair? Nuh uh. The murder and mayhem across three continents and the rabid chase after them? Nada. Even the fact that Will sort of, ok, did actually, chuck them off a cliff? Once past the recuperation, and the deep and meaningful conversations, and the resumption of certain, ahem, intimacies, not a people sausage! But even the teeniest hint of anything other than total praise and adulation about breakfast, lunch and supper and everything in between? Well for goodness sake you'd think the world had ended.

Hannibal watches Will’s face as he takes another mouthful.

 “It's just a little, I'm not sure, salty maybe?”

 “Salty?”

 “Yeah. Briney. Not just because it’s sea food. Sorry. It's very good though. Really. And the vegetables are perfect”

 He wishes he hadn't said a word as soon as he's opened his mouth as the plate is whisked away from him, mournfully he manages,

 “I was enjoying that”

 Hannibal takes a mouthful from Will’s plate and promptly rushes to the sink and spits it out.

 “That's appalling. You can't eat that! I'll make something else. I don't think even the vegetables can be saved”

Will watches rather wistfully as Hannibal scrapes his lunch into the compost caddy. Sighs. Resigns himself to a wait, although if it's an omelette that's ok. Hannibal makes great omelettes on the fly and if he's pissed he whisks extra hard and they're all frothy and light. And usually this translates into other frothy and light things later on!

 Hannibal though considers, what on earth is going on? He didn't oversalt it. He's still pathologically careful about what he puts in his body. He hears, yes, for sure this time. A little laugh. Tinkly. And then another giggle, slightly deeper.

  In the garden Will stretches out on a blanket on the lawn and enjoys the sun’s warmth across his chest and arms. Perfect. Glass of lemonade. Cloudless blue sky. Small plate of nibbles. The sound of Hannibal humming to himself as he tends to some bit of the garden.

He notes a slight change in the tempo and mood of whatever it is that Hannibal is humming. Not so much cheerful G major and more miserable as sin B minor.

“Hannibal?”

Hannibal doesn't answer at first, so Will, a little reluctantly, drags himself up. And follows the sound of the now definitely mournful dirge.

“Hannibal? What is it? Did the deer get in the root vegetables again? Or is it the rabbits? I could trap a few if you like? They won't hop fast.. oh, what's that?”

 “I think someone has been in the garden”

 “Yeah. I think you're right? What is that?”

 “It's some sort of vegetable. Well. Installation? Maybe?”

 The two men regard the display. A human figure set before them on one of the garden benches like one of Hannibal's elaborate murder tableau, but this one made entirely from fresh vegetables.

 “What's that eggplant doing? Is that meant to be?”

 “I think it is. Will. I hate to ask. This isn't an elaborate, and may I say very pretty, piece of your work is it?”

 Will puts his head to one side,

 “Well, so you think that maybe I got up in the night came out here and picked veg for an hour or two and made them into a murder veggie bestie in the garden for you to find? Sorry Hannibal. Not my design”

 “Someone's though?”

 They look at each other then. Definite laughter.

 “Did you hear that? Or am I hallucinating this time around?”

 “Unless it's the whole folie a deux thing? I heard it too”

 Hannibal looks around and ventures,

 “Hello? Are you listening?…”

 On the wind there's just the faintest whisper,

 “Oooh. It's the man on the phone…”

 And then an answering laugh.

Back indoors in the kitchen Will and Hannibal look at each other.

 “I think I was in the sun too long.”

 “I think it was something we ate last night”

 “I really don't think..”

 “Nor do I. It can't be”

 “She did come with me to Sicily”

 “You didn't say so before!”

 “I thought I was hallucinating her. You know. After..”

 Hannibal nods. Whilst there might be a certain amount of scar aftercare and nuzzling and other related activity, they don't usually directly discuss the events of the evening it occurred. Painful for both of them. Albeit in different ways.

 “Why now though?”

 “Maybe? Maybe she just misses us? I mean. It's been a while. Perhaps she got lonely? Wanted people to talk to? Hang out with?”

 “She's not alone though?”

 “The other laugh?

 “Indeed.”

 “I've got an idea about that.”

 “Oh?”

 “Yeah. Oh.” He sighs, yeah, he has an idea. “I'll see if I can talk to them later”

 “Really? You rather than me? Do you think it's possibly someone I know?”

 “I think so. I think they're messing with you more than me. So. Maybe. Well. I'll ask. I've a good idea”

Later, the same evening, Will sits out in the garden on the bench where the murder veggie bestie had been displayed. He takes a slow drink of his glass of wine. He'd never really been a fan but slowly, slowly, Hannibal is converting him. He smiles down into the golden green depths. A cool green drink for the end of a cool green day. Thinks of all the things that Hannibal is converting him to, over time.

 “Hello ladies”

 “Hello Will”

 It's still a whisper. But it's there. And it's real.

 “How you doing then?”

 “Alright thanks”

 “The shirt was a nice touch. You know it's his favourite”

 There's a small snicker,

 “He thinks it's his ‘pulling shirt’”

 “I'm sure he does”

 “He doesn't really need it does he?”

 Will sighs, oh these two, they know him so well. Even after all this time. Especially after all this time. After all, he always could ‘see’, even if he has to have seen them alive before he can ever see them dead.

 “Maybe lay off the grub though? That would have been a really nice meal”

 Abigail giggles,

 “But the food is the most fun to mess with!”

 “I understand”

 He pauses,

 “I liked the murder vegetable man. I thought he'd get it straight away. What with the slicing and all. Actually that eggplant was good in parmigiana, so, thanks for that. And by the way I can hear you pouting”

 Bev sighs,

 “Damn. You ate his eggplant. Will that is some fucked us metaphor right there!”

 “I know. It's true. But you know how it is, right?”

 Both the women smile and nod, if he doesn't look directly at them he can just make out their ghostly shapes shimmering in the late evening daylight. What's left of it, and left of them.

 “Still keeping out of the bedroom?”

 “We did agree. Though the wardrobe is still fair game? Is that ok?”

 Will smiles, they've got good ground rules. And really, these two keep all the others away. A sassy comment from Bev, a baleful look from Abigail? No one wants to risk it. Only Franklyn had tried. Grabby even in death. Fair enough. Probably. Will has a little shudder. Cheese folk indeed. For once he'd actually sympathised with Hannibal. Yeah. That's should have told him something right off.

 “The wardrobe is all fair game. Hey. Did I mention it? There's an especially hairy green tie which Hannibal loves. Any chance of a little accident?”

 “The one with the egg yolk weave? Because even I wouldn't be seen in it, and I'm dead already!”

“That's it. So. Maybe?”

“Sure Will. We're still here for you”

“Not everything on his terms then?”

“Dead right”

  THERE WE ARE! @electrarhodes was a champ and delivered this gorgeous little fic to me extremely quickly, it just took me a while until I had the time to sit down and work on my part because I decided to do three collabs almost two days into a three day event oops. This was extremely fun though, I hope we get a longer collab event next time around! 

[askthestabbystabbysquad]

How would the slashers react to their s/o trying and failing to cook for them? Like the s/o tries to surprise them with a nice dinner but end up cutting their fingers chopping veggies and almost burning everything.

Micheal: “FUCK!! OW OW OW!! DAMMIT!!” His s/o shouted from their kitchen, something metal clattering onto the tile floor. He stood and walked over, curiosity urging him to forget carving the pumpkins for the upcoming Halloween. He peeked around the corner to see his beloved s/o clutching their hand to their chest and hissing in pain, a knife on the floor. He let out a silent chuckle and walked in, taking their smaller hand in his and observing the ct along their fingers. He patted their head before carrying them to the bathroom and getting the band-aids, then patching up their fingers. “Sorry, I was trying to surprise you with supper and it CLEARLY didn’t turn out...” He shook his head in amusement, before hugging his s/o and lifting his mask just enough to plant a kiss on their forehead. “How about we order a pizza tonight instead? I don’t feel like cooking anymore...” They asked, looking down to the side in shame. He chuckled and nodded, agreeing with their suggestion.

Jason: He looked in shock at his s/o, who stood in the middle of their kitchen, spaghetti and sauce all around them, a giant pot laying in the middle of the room. He carefully picked his way around, seeing steam rise from puddles of water on the floor where the hot water from the pot had been spilled. He looked his s/o over, making sure they weren’t burnt. “I’m fine Jase. Just covered in... Uh, what was SUPPOSED to be supper.” He chuckled at this, his shoulders shaking as he did so. His s/o had an utterly defeated look on their face as well as a noodle draping down over their nose. “I know. Laugh more. THIS is what I get for trying to make a decent dinner for the both of us I guess...” Jason shook his head and attempted to stand, before he slipped on some sauce and landed on his back. His s/o roared with laughter and laid back down, getting messier than before. “You know what, how about we clean up and then just have some hot dogs for supper instead? You get a fire going and we’ll roast ‘em outside.” He sat up and nodded eagerly, his stomach growling in anticipation. “You’re cooking them though.”

Pinhead: He’d heard his s/o drop something a few moments ago and a brief scream of anguish and panic, and there was now only silence. He raised his eyebrow and stood, going to head to his s/o’s kitchen when they came out, their hands covering their eyes and their shoulders slumped in defeat. “What’s wrong dear?” “Nothing Pinhead. Nothing whatsoever. Just... Don’t go in the kitchen until I finish okay? I messed up and I need to wash this stuff off of my face before it gets in my eyes.” They proceeded to scurry towards their bathroom, blindly colliding with the corner and the doorway before they managed to get the tap running. He peeked around the corner and almost burst out laughing. On the counter sat a burnt stir-fry and on the floor sat a puddle of warm water, that had probably gotten into his so’s eyes. “Darling, perhaps we should just eat left-overs from last night?” “Sounds great!” “Would you like me to prepare it?” “Oh shut up you.”

Leatherface: He stared in shock at the fire on the stove. “THOMAS GET A WET CLOTH!!!” His s/o screeched, turning the stove off and practically throwing the pan into the sink. He obeyed and tossed them the cloth, which they proceeded to throw onto the burning food in the sink. They leaned against the counter as the smoke began to rise from the burnt and ruined meal, defeat on their face and a hand on their forehead, holding stray strands of hair back. Then the smoke alarm went off and they started to cry. He opened the windows and fanned the air with a towel, keeping an eye on his s/o. He knelt down to them and put a hand in their shoulder once the alarm stopped and tilted his head. “I’m sorry Thomas, I guess I’ll have to go and get something from town to eat tonight...” He hugged his s/o and chuckled, shaking his head and rocking them back and forth. “You know what? I’m ordering takeout. What do you feel like? Chinese? Italian?” He shrugged and held up two fingers. “Alright, Italian it is.” His s/o sighed and stood up, pecking him on the cheek before picking up the phone and calling the Italian restaurant a few minutes away.

Billy: “Babe...” “Don’t say it.” “But babe...” “No, Billy.” “Ba-” “No. Billy. I know.” His s/o groaned, pinching the bridge of their nose. The burnt popcorn still sat in the microwave, and the smoke alarm had just finished blaring. He couldn’t help but laugh at his s/o’s failure. “Oh shut up. We’ll just... Eat the store-bought popcorn instead.” “No, babe. I’ll make popcorn, you go make sure the movie isn’t starting yet.” He snorted throughout the entire sentence, barely able to contain his amusement. “Oh shut up Billy. Fine. But if it does start, I’m not pausing it for you.” “Wait, what?” “No, make you precious popcorn. I’M going to watch the movie.” “No, babe, wait, I’m sorry, it’s just...” He burst out into laughter again. “I don’t know HOW tired you are, but just straight-up putting popcorn in the microwave was pretty stupid!” “Oh be quiet!” His s/o hollered from the living room, opening a bag of store-bought popcorn and settling onto the couch to watch the movie, as Billy cleaned up the burning popcorn fro the floor and the inside of the microwave.

Stu: “You always spoil me so I wanted to return the favour...” “... That didn’t quite turn out the way you planned it did it?” “Nope.” His s/o looked sown in embarrassment at the ruined cake on the dining room floor. “... I’m sorry.” “No no! It’s fine!” He got out of his chair and scooped up a piece that hadn’t touched the floor before putting it in his mouth and smiling. “It tasted amazing sweetie! And it looked pretty nice too!” He stated after swallowing the piece of cake he’d had in his mouth. His s/o looked up at him, a shocked but happy look on their face. “You really mean it?” “Oh yeah, yeah. Here!” He smeared the icing over their face, wiping his entire hand over it before laughing and running away. “STU! GET BACK HERE!!” His s/o roared before running after him, a handful of fallen cake at the ready.

David: He sneezed for the seventh time in the past ten minutes. There was garlic somewhere. “Babe, are you-” He sneezed again, even louder and more violently than before. “Babe, are you making something with garlic?” He managed to get out before sneezing again. “Hm? Oh. OH!! OH MY GOSH DAVID I’M SO SORRY!! I COMPLETELY FORGOT!!” His s/o ran back into the kitchen and threw something in the garbage, then ran passed him, the entire garbage bag in hand. He sneezed a few more times, the smell of garlic following the garbage bag. His s/o came running back in and proceeded to open every window in the house, before sitting down on the couch, their head in their hands.  David sniffled a few times, before sitting down next to them and wrapping his arm over their shoulder. “It’s alright. It’s the thought that counts, right?” “i thought you were just sneezing because of dust. I totally forgot! Ugh, I feel like an ass right now!” “Baby, it’s fine! Really! It would have been worse if I’d eaten the- Uh. What did you make?” “Pan-roasted chicken with lemon-garlic green beans.” They mumbled and curled into his side. He chuckled. “It happens. I’m sure it would’ve been delicious.” His s/o smiled. “Thanks.”

Pennywise: He stood, bandaging his s/o’s palm after disinfecting it. “So, tell me again how you sliced your palm open?” He asked, getting an unintelligible grumble in response. “Sugar?’ ‘I was cleaning a knife I used to cut the fucking pork chops. Happy?” They snapped, before he laughed loudly. “I thought you knew how to cook?” “I do! I’m just str-” They cut themselves off, before looking away. “I was distracted.” “...You were going to say stressed weren’t you?” “... Yes...” They stated, looking everywhere but at him. He sighed and hugged them, finished with his s/o’s hand. “You know how you get when you’re like that. I mean, I take the form of a CLOWN!! I can hep with the stress!” “Then entertain me.” “With pleasure! So, there was this stupid little-” “STOP!”

Freddy: He howled with laughter as his s/o flushed in embarrassment, little bits of chicken in their hair and on their clothes. “The chicken fucking EXPLODED?!?” He hooted, slapping his thigh with his un-gloved hand. “Yeah yeah. Shut up.” “And it knocked you out?!?” “I almost shit myself Freddy!! I fainted!!” They whined, tugging on his sweater sleeve to get him to stop. “Holy shit!!” He laughed even louder, much to his s/o’s displeasure.Then realisation dawned on him. “Wait, you should wake up. What if some of it caught on fire?” His s/o’s face paled before they pinched themselves and wove up, dragging him along to the real world, where an exploded chicken covered the room, and the burnt man started howling with laughter again. 

Hannibal: He scolded his s/o the second they woke up. “I told you to let me bake tonight!” “But I wanted to bake on my own! And it’s a secret family recipe! I can’t let you know it!” “You almost blew up your kitchen! You’re lucky I walked in when I did!” He and his s/o locked eyes with each-other before they looked away shyly. “... You’re right... I’m sorry. I should have waited for you to come home...” Hannibal sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, love, I’m sorry. You wanted to surprise me with a sweet treat and I got mad at you. I should be the one to apologise and clean up the mess.” His s/o groaned. “No, let me clean up.” “Fine then, but I’d get those tiles on the wall repaired soon. You have a dinner party next month.” His s/o groaned and threw a pillow at him, before flopping back down onto the couch. 

Samara: She stared in shock as her s/o ran into the room, holding their fingers tightly, blood dribbling between the cracks in their other fingers.”JESUS SAMARA!!” Her s/o screamed, jumping and clutching their chest. “At LEAST make SOME noise so I know you’re here!” They shrieked before calming down. She walked towards them and took their hands, seeing a large cut running down the back of their middle and index finger. She led them to the bathroom and ran the warm water, before cleaning the wound. “Sorry. I was cutting up some vegetables for supper and I thought I saw the neighbour outside my window and I looked up for ONE second and BAM!!” They gestured with their uninjured hand at the hand that she held and was bandaging. She nodded silently and slowly, listening to them ramble on about what had happened, deciding to kill the neighbour tomorrow.

Carrie: She finished scraping the exploded soup off of the ceiling, floors and walls, before turning to her s/o, who was seated against the cabinet, their head in their hands. “Thanks Carrie...” “So... How DID this happen?” “I forgot the stove was on and I didn’t check the soup. It boiled over and exploded...” They stated, their voice tired and exasperated. Soup was in their hair and on their body. Carrie laughed softly. “Okay, tell you what. Let’s just order a pizza and watch a movie. You go have a shower and I’ll finish up down here. Sound good?” Her s/o looked up, smiling. “Yeah. Thanks a lot honey. I really appreciate it.” “No problem darling.” She laughed, and sent her s/o to the bathroom, a hovering towel behind them to catch any soup that fell off of their head or shoulders. She picked up the phone and dialled the number while the sponge scrubbed the counter and floor as she ordered a pizza.

(I hope these were okay. I figured I’d try something new but I have no clue if this is what you wanted or if this is what style you guys like.)

[sheilacwall]

Snak The Ripper & R.A. The Rugged Man – Knuckle Sandwich (Official Music Video)

Learn how to rap like the pros

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Snak The Ripper is performing LIVE in Europe this month! GET TICKETS: http://SnakTheRipper.com/shows.html Directed by Stuey Kubrick Produced by C-Lance VFX: Steven Davies Scratches by D-rec Album: Snak The Ripper, Off The Rails

LYRICS: Snak The Ripper: Im in a perfect position to throw, a fist to ya throat, six in a row, no detonation code, I’m fit to explode, these bitches and hoes, ripping my clothes, licking my chode, creeping through the darkest alleys, I don’t stick to the road, I’m the shit and they know, kick in door, don’t aim high, I’m hitting ’em low, better watch out the kid is a pro, no more empty pit in my soul, I quit the liquor and blow, guess I’m switching my flow cause I don’t want my ticker to go, YO! Better believe it I’ma leave em with a back hand, never defeated, always weeded breathing like a fat man, keeping em bleeding, taking a beating probably need a cat scan, roll up the weed, then I proceed, to follow the attack plan With a couple obese chicks, I’m watching em mud wrestle, these rappers are cheese dicks, they talking but nuttin special, They fool you cheap tricks but I’m launching a scud missile, I’m spitting extreme shit, till I’m popping a blood vessel, If you tryin and pull some slick shit I’m knocking out your chiclets, sweet dreams bitches, I ain’t talking bout Eurythmics, send your a mom some dick pics, my fingers smell like fish sticks, giving you a noogie, purple nerplin’ your bitch tits, they wondering why all my shit is so dirty it’s probably cause I ain’t been fuckin with soap, call me the master of puppets the way that I’m pulling these strings like I’m plucking a note, roll to your spot with a couple of blokes and a couple of things that I tucked in my coat, nobody fucking with me I been throwing these elbows cause all of my knuckles are broke,

Chorus: yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich!

R.A. The Rugged Man: Sluggish snail snot trail. Murder male, not pale Body drop, cop failed, molotov cocktail Kills. I never believe in the death and decievin’ The eating the apple The Garden of Eden. Klonopin, meth and they speeding and tweakin’ I’m makin’ a killin’, it’s murderer season With Jessica Lang and I’m beatin’ my chest Be like Idi Amin ’cause I’m eatin’ their flesh No rules though, let’s go back to old school flow Original Hannibal Lecter, Manhunter my past life I smacked the apostles and crashed The Last Supper, Man suffer, so damn gutter – I was great before my great granddaddy’s dick spit out my grandmother Like a torpedo, B-Hop / Tito, they can’t stop the reign Peabo, I’m in my prime: Royce / Preemo And I’m self made, look at no Dre, Vietnam that any foe pray Go to combat: Reggie Ossé, go beyond rap, heavy no pay And I drive drunk, crash whips, girls grab your tits Rope-a-dope the Pope ’til he choke on a bag of dicks Flip the parked car, John Carpenter Dark Star At the Shark Bar or in Vancouver with Nardwuar, It’s nevertheless, they said it the best Rebel in the street, they better protest Get ’em undressed, the devil possessed The end of the west, ahead of the rest Classic rhyme, damage the mind, like the passage of time Snap a spine, Lord master divine

Chorus: yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich!

© 2019 Stealth Bomb Records Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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[sending-the-message]

I've Had it With the Serial Killer Known as the Skin Stealer. by theproliar

I’m Spencer Cottonwood, Medical Examiner and I’ve had it with the serial killer known as the Skin Stealer. No. Really. I’ve had it. I used to have a really good life but this skin-removing asshole is ruining it.

After working years in a very busy Coroner’s office in New York, I moved back to the small town I grew up in to enjoy life. I have a small general practice during the day and at night I’m the medical examiner. There’s no one else to do it. It’s a really small town and being medical examiner adds to my salary but not to my hours worked because nothing bad ever happens. Scratch that. Nothing bad used to happen.

Now, the unspeakable is common place. People are found with their skins removed in one solid piece and the skinless corpses used to recreate famous works of art. You didn’t read that wrong. He gets the skin off in one solid piece. What a fucking jerk.

While I have to admit, the old lady with her skin removed and seemingly shocked at finding her epidermis stapled to the wall recreating Munch’s “The Scream” was hard not to chuckle at, I found his recreation of The Last Supper with alternating skinless corpses and their skins stuffed with crumpled pages of the bibles a little heavy handed.

But the real reason I hate the Skin Stealer is because I’m the guy who has to figure out which skin goes with which corpse and then try to put it back on. Do you have any idea what kind of labor this entails. It’s a giant pain in the ass, and one time I got the skin back on a corpse only to realize IT WAS THE WRONG CORPSE.

Sure, Skin Stealer you must have a great deal of skill to remove a human’s skin in one solid piece, but let’s see you try to put one back on. It’s harder and more time consuming.

At the rate the Skin Stealer strikes I’m getting pretty good at it, but it’s consuming my entire life. I’m literally getting No Sleep.

Normally, I wouldn’t even care. I would just mentally prepare myself to get very little sleep for the coming months because I’ll be taking apart corpse art and figuring out which skin goes on which body until the psycho is caught, but right now is a really bad time for me. No, that’s not right. Right now is a really great time for me and the Skin Stealer is ruining it.

I’ve just started dating, Penelope, a woman I have literally been in love with since middle school. When I moved back we reconnected and she liked the person that I had became. It looked like we were about to move into together and then Mr. Skin Stealer had to started peeling people like they were fucking oranges.

Now, I never get to see her, and, in the rare occasion that I do, I’m an exhausted mess.

It gets worse.

Just yesterday, after a long night of playing get the bloody corpse back in its skin, I stopped by the local coffee shop (there’s only the one) to get some badly needed caffeine.

Joe, the owner, asked, “Another long night?”

I nodded.

Joe said, “I noticed bunch of cop cars by the ballet studio.”

I said, “Yeah, this time that asshole recreated a Degas.” The reference went right over Joe’s head so I added, “Degas had a thing for painting ballerinas.”

Joe said, “So, skinless corpse doing ballet?”

I said, “Skinless corpse in a tutu. The skin set up with easel and paint as if the skin was Degas.”

Joe shook his head and said, “Well, I know it’s horrible but as least he doesn't kill people from here.”

I was about to tell Joe that doesn’t make it any easier to put their skin back on, but someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and though I hadn’t seen his face in years and that face was now covered in a beard, I recognized Brad right away, Perfect Brad.

Brad said, “Spence! Oh my god. It is you. You look-“

“Utterly exhausted?”

“No,” he said, “Like you’ve done great for yourself. I always knew you would.”

Brad smiled at me like he was genuinely happy to see I had done well, and I somehow contained a powerful urge not to punch him in his perfect fucking teeth.

I wish I could say Brad was my high school bully, that he tormented me, but that wouldn’t be true. Brad’s always looked out of me. When other people shunned me in high school, he was always there to put a hand on my shoulder and offer an encouraging word. “Don’t worry, Spence. You’re just a diamond in the rough.”

God, I fucking hated him. Hated him for his athleticism, for his kindness, for his happiness, but most of all I hated him because he had what I had so desperately wanted for myself, Penelope. Brad and Penelope dated from middle school until the middle of college when they split amicably.

“Brad,” I said, “When did you…I wasn’t expecting to run into you. What have you been up to?”

“I just got back from Africa, my company builds wells.”

“Oil?”

“No. Water. My company’s a non-profit that provided clean water to-“

I couldn’t bear it anymore. I pretended my phone buzzed and looked at it as I said, “Oh, it’s an emergency have to go.”

I started to walk away and he yelled out, “Let’s catch up when you have time.”

I waved without looking back. That’s when I saw Penelope step into to the cafe. Just at the sight of her, I felt my exhaustion wash away and I was excited to see her, but then I realized she didn’t even notice me. She was staring at Brad.

She finally noticed me when I was about a foot away. She said, “Oh, Hey. “

I said, “Hey, I have to get to the office.”

P said, “You need to get some rest. Cut hours short if you can. I’ll bring you some food later.”

She made a point of kissing me on my way out.

That’s good, right?

Either way, now is not the time for some serial killer to be taking up all my time. PERFECT BRAD, Brad who builds wells in African villages with his large biceps is in town. Now is definitely not the time for your bullshit Skin Stealer. This shit has to stop but how is it going to?

No offense to local law enforcement, but these guys aren’t up to the task. I think catching fish is more of their thing. To paint a clearer picture it’s as if Hannibal Lector was up against Roscoe and Enos from the Dukes of Hazard, not exactly a fair match. Hell, they didn’t even realize the Skin Stealer was recreating works of art until I pointed it out.

Oh My God. It just hit me. If my life is ever going to go back to normal. If I’m ever going to make Penelope happy and keep her from going to Africa to build wells with Brad, there’s only one thing I can do. I have to catch the Skin Stealer.

Wish me luck, and, if you have any information about the identity of the Skin Stealer, please comment below.

[pvnkvampr]

Hannibal episode 13 season 2 spoilers

   0422q

 Ok, so I guess basically everyone finished Hannibal, but I didn’t. So I’m gonna keep pausing the video and rant on here and cry in pain.

Spoilers ahead

00:02 Oh boy here it goes. My babies are gonna get hurt so I’m gonna get hurt ;-;

01:44 Ooh, Jack gonna get dinner with Hannibal. Or fucking be his dinner

02:48 “You and me”

          “And Jack”

          “And Jack”

Wait, Imma go for a walk with my mom. Ok, that’s random, whatever. Imma be back

10:16 PM Back, lmao. 

Let’s continue

03:31 Will talking to Jack about how Hannibal would kill him and then talking to Hannibal how hard it will be to kill Jack

04:24 Hannibal: “When the moment comes”

          Jack: “When the moment comes”

         Both: “Will you do what needs to be done?”

         Will: “Oh, yes”

Shit, boi

05:10 FUCKING HOBBS

06:05 Is Will’s house actually that small? How does he keep all his dogs there? Plus him with a gun. I called it a gun because it better than inventing some names

06:28 BELLAAA

07:53 “I’m here because I can’t abandon Jack” My heart

08:01 “Not again” STOP

08:28 “Will you save him for me when I’ll die?”

09:25 “Don’t write about Abigail. You can write about me. You can write about Hannibal. Just leave Abigail alone.”

09:55 “You don’t know If you’re going to survive him, do you?”

          “Just let her rest in peace”

10:22 “These are you’re notes on me”

          “Sure they are” Is that what he said? Couldn’t really understand

11:58 “My palace is vast, even by medieval standards. The foyer is of Norman Chapel in Palermo. Severe, beautiful and timeless. With a single reminder of mortality. A skull. Graven in the floor.”

17:03 “An imago is an image of a loved one, buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives.”

17:20 “An ideal.”

          “The concept of an ideal.... I have a concept of you, just as you have a concept of me.”  

I can’t, I need all of the conversation here. 

HANNIBAL: Do you know what an imago is, Will?

WILL GRAHAM: It's a flying insect.

 HANNIBAL: It's the final stage of a transformation. Maturity. 

WILL GRAHAM: When you become who you will be. 

HANNIBAL: It's also a term from the dead religion of psychoanalysis. An imago is an image of a loved one buried in the unconscious, carried with us all our lives. 

WILL GRAHAM: An ideal. 

HANNIBAL: The concept of an ideal always searching for an objective reality to match. I have a concept of you just as you have a concept of me. 

WILL GRAHAM: Neither of us ideal.

HANNIBAL: We are both too curious about too many things for any ideals. (then) Is it ideal that Jack die? 

WILL GRAHAM: It's necessary. What happens to Jack has been preordained. 

HANNIBAL: We could disappear now. Tonight. Feed your dogs. Leave a note for Dr. Bloom, never see her or Jack Crawford again. Almost polite.

WILL GRAHAM: That'd make this our last supper. 

HANNIBAL: Of this life. I am serving lamb. 

WILL GRAHAM: Sacrificial? Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. 

HANNIBAL: I freely claim my sin. I don't need a sacrifice. Do you? 

WILL GRAHAM: I need him to know. (then) If I confessed to Jack Crawford now, you think he would forgive me? 

HANNIBAL: I would forgive you. (then) If Jack were to tell you all is forgiven, Will, would you accept his forgiveness? 

WILL GRAHAM: Jack isn't offering forgiveness. He wants justice. He wants to see you. See who you are. See who I've become. Know the truth. 

Hannibal takes the moment in, thoughtful, raises a glass: 

HANNIBAL: To the truth, then. And all its consequences. 

Official site, boi.

Didn’t even finished watching their conversation

20:10  HANNIBAL: To the truth, then. And all its consequences.

25:41 Hannibal: “Hello”

          Will: “They know” 

25:54 THEY GONNA FIGHT. THEY GONNA FIGHT. THEY GONNA FIGHT I’M NOT READY FOR THIS

27:25 NO ALANA DON’T GO THERE PLS THEY GONNA THROW YOU OUT A WINDOW

28:10 STOP CALLING THE POLICE AND JUST RUN FOR YOUR LIFE DAMN 

31:22 MY BABY GONNA SHOW UP AT ANY MOMENT NOW

32:04 “Abigail...?”

          YUS MY CHILD

32:11 “I’m so sorry” *Pushes Alana off window* That’s rude :c

32:17 *Alana falls to her death in slow motion like a badass* At least she not dead

32:52 And then Will shows up, Imma lose my shit. I’ll cry so hard, I’m such a slut for Will, like pls end my suffering now

33:51 I just want some happy and fluffy Murder Family, but no. I guess you can’t have something fluffy If it has “Murder” in it.

34:45 Don’t worry Will, that’s strawberry jam coming out from under the door!

34:48 AND THEN HE SEES HIS DAUGHTER. She spilled the jam.

35:24 “Where is he?” Ok, are we in a clique horror movie? OF COURSE HE’S GONNA BE BEHIND YOU, OMG WILL

35:44 AND THEN HE SEES HIS HUSBAND YAY BUT IT’S NOT ALL SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE.

WILL GRAHAM: You were supposed to leave. 

HANNIBAL: We couldn't leave without you.

DON’T FUCKING STAB HIM PLS

35:53 It’s gonna jumpscare me, isn’t it? Pls don’t

35:57 HE TOUCHED WILL’S FACE AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH IT’S A TRAP

36:01 Boom, got stabbed. 

36:10 Just hug him because that’s appropriate behavior, Hannibal. Smell him too *pls*

36:16 Pat his head, yeah

37:42 IF YOU TOUCH ABIGAIL I’M GONNA GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO MY DOG

38:20  “I forgive you, Will. Will you forgive me?”

WILL REALIZED WHAT HE’S GONNA DO NOOOOOO

39:32 OK BOI YOU CAN KILL JACK, YOU CAN KILL CHILTON, YOU CAN KILL MASON. BUT DON’T FUCKING TOUCH MY GIRLS OK IMMA FUCK YOU UP

39:40 and then hannibal just leaves off to europe with his new false wife leaving my children to bleed to death

39:50 very rain such dramatic

40:00 THAT’S RIGHT WASH YOUR SINS OFF

41:06 Hannibal wears Will’s jacket I’m not even mad anymore. Sorry, what was I talking ‘bout? Oh, yeah....YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT HANNIBAL 

Go on.

41:23 Ok, Will saying the stag die  made me sad...like all those seconds of the episode

41:51 FUCKING CREDITS I DON’T NEED THESE.

43:12 / 43:12 It’s done I’m done We’re done pls now It’s done...right?

Finished it. Know what that means? Hannibal marathon tonight wohooooooo!! *happiness turns into sobbing*

I’m gonna finish a more serious review just for my sake.

‘Night

[sheilacwall]

Snak The Ripper & R.A. The Rugged Man – Knuckle Sandwich (Official Music Video)

Learn how to rap like the pros

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Snak The Ripper is performing LIVE in Europe this month! GET TICKETS: http://SnakTheRipper.com/shows.html Directed by Stuey Kubrick Produced by C-Lance VFX: Steven Davies Scratches by D-rec Album: Snak The Ripper, Off The Rails

LYRICS: Snak The Ripper: Im in a perfect position to throw, a fist to ya throat, six in a row, no detonation code, I’m fit to explode, these bitches and hoes, ripping my clothes, licking my chode, creeping through the darkest alleys, I don’t stick to the road, I’m the shit and they know, kick in door, don’t aim high, I’m hitting ’em low, better watch out the kid is a pro, no more empty pit in my soul, I quit the liquor and blow, guess I’m switching my flow cause I don’t want my ticker to go, YO! Better believe it I’ma leave em with a back hand, never defeated, always weeded breathing like a fat man, keeping em bleeding, taking a beating probably need a cat scan, roll up the weed, then I proceed, to follow the attack plan With a couple obese chicks, I’m watching em mud wrestle, these rappers are cheese dicks, they talking but nuttin special, They fool you cheap tricks but I’m launching a scud missile, I’m spitting extreme shit, till I’m popping a blood vessel, If you tryin and pull some slick shit I’m knocking out your chiclets, sweet dreams bitches, I ain’t talking bout Eurythmics, send your a mom some dick pics, my fingers smell like fish sticks, giving you a noogie, purple nerplin’ your bitch tits, they wondering why all my shit is so dirty it’s probably cause I ain’t been fuckin with soap, call me the master of puppets the way that I’m pulling these strings like I’m plucking a note, roll to your spot with a couple of blokes and a couple of things that I tucked in my coat, nobody fucking with me I been throwing these elbows cause all of my knuckles are broke,

Chorus: yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich!

R.A. The Rugged Man: Sluggish snail snot trail. Murder male, not pale Body drop, cop failed, molotov cocktail Kills. I never believe in the death and decievin’ The eating the apple The Garden of Eden. Klonopin, meth and they speeding and tweakin’ I’m makin’ a killin’, it’s murderer season With Jessica Lang and I’m beatin’ my chest Be like Idi Amin ’cause I’m eatin’ their flesh No rules though, let’s go back to old school flow Original Hannibal Lecter, Manhunter my past life I smacked the apostles and crashed The Last Supper, Man suffer, so damn gutter – I was great before my great granddaddy’s dick spit out my grandmother Like a torpedo, B-Hop / Tito, they can’t stop the reign Peabo, I’m in my prime: Royce / Preemo And I’m self made, look at no Dre, Vietnam that any foe pray Go to combat: Reggie Ossé, go beyond rap, heavy no pay And I drive drunk, crash whips, girls grab your tits Rope-a-dope the Pope ’til he choke on a bag of dicks Flip the parked car, John Carpenter Dark Star At the Shark Bar or in Vancouver with Nardwuar, It’s nevertheless, they said it the best Rebel in the street, they better protest Get ’em undressed, the devil possessed The end of the west, ahead of the rest Classic rhyme, damage the mind, like the passage of time Snap a spine, Lord master divine

Chorus: yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich yo this is blunt force trauma, bet you find it tough to manage, wake up with your head wrapped up in a bloody bandage, on a stretcher while they try to treat the fuckin damage, this is what’ll happen when you eat a knuckle sandwich!

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