#that tweet that was like ''i don't ship them i just have eyes''? Yeah

[xnoel]

[drxxmingofblue]

hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)

TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING

besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨

also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<

based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best

(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??

QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*

~~~~~~~~

When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.

The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.

When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.

Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”

He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.

“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”

Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.

“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”

“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”

“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”

Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.

Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”

“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."

"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."

"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 

"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”

“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.

Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”

Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”

Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”

“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”

“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”

Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 

Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”

“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.

“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”

(link to art here) go look at it then come back

(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)

“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.

“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”

He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.

“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”

“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”

“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”

“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”

“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”

“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”

“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”

“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”

“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”

"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.

"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"

"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 

The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 

The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.

"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 

Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 

"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 

He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 

The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'

"Anyway," Twitter said. 

"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 

Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 

(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)

"Alright, go."

“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”

“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”

“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 

lord give me strength to write this next bit

They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.

“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 

“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.

They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.

Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”

“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.

“Twitsy-”

“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.

They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 

They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.

"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.

"..w... what?"

"U."

Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"

"N-"

"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-

"G-"

"how immature, you little c*nt-"

"P-"

"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"

"O"

"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"

"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"

"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards

"E-"

"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"

"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 

"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 

"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 

He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."

"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 

Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."

A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"

He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."

Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 

"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 

Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.

"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.

"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."

Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."

Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.

“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”

They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”

“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”

"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."

"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."

"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."

They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 

"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."

"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 

Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."

Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 

*teleports behind u*

"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.

Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.

He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 

A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 

"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."

"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."

“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”

Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.

“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”

They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 

It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”

Twitter snarled and lunged again.

The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.

And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.

He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.

Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.

“Had enough yet?” He smirked.

“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”

“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."

"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 

"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."

"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 

"Oh, hard agree."

"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 

"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."

Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 

"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 

Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 

"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."

He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 

Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:

"I call upon the ancient powers;

The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 

I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 

Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 

I invocate the roleplay blogs, 

The superwholock and gay frogs, 

Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 

The furry's fury is my saving grace, 

And eeby deeby taco bell,

Primordial soup god superhell, 

I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 

Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 

The discourse of Steve's Universe, 

The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"

Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 

The 21st night of our sacred September, 

The ides of March to savor once more, 

Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 

I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 

my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 

May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 

Banish you from this accursed plane!"

"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.

Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.

They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."

“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”

Then all superhell broke loose. 

Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.

“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”

Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?

Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”

“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”

Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”

“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.

Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.

Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.

The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.

They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."

"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."

"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."

Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 

But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 

“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”

“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”

“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 

"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 

"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 

The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."

The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 

"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."

"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."

"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 

There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 

"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 

"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."

"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."

The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 

He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 

The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"

Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....

Twitter took it, slowly. 

As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 

"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,

"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."

fin.

~~~~~~~~~~

OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST

...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.

in conclusion:

[two-white-butterflies]

i can see you | dr3

Description: Secret relationship tension. You both struggle to keep the relationship a secret.

Pairing: daniel ricciardo/red-bull admin!reader

Daniel's arms were wrapped around your torso, carefully leading you towards the secluded station of redbull racing. You've been dating each other for six-months now, and due to his job and your adoration for privacy - you've never really announced your relationship to the public. It's not like they're supposed to care, right?

'Private but not secret' was your motto.

Everyone in redbull racing knew that Daniel was dating somebody - they just didn't know who.

"Can we get some milkshakes before the race?" you inquired, knowing that the both of you were going to spend the entire race watching from a tiny screen. It could get boring. "Yeah, chocolate or strawberry?" he asked, reaching for his phone to call someone.

"Mint," you replied with a smile.

"Are you serious?" he chuckled - showing you a toothy grin smile.

"Yeah," you hummed.

"Did Max really expose our relationship?" you giggled while pressing small kisses to his lips. "Don't worry, he doesn't know who my girlfriend is." he says for certain, hands trailing up to cup your cheeks. "Really?" you raised an eyebrow.

Daniel told Max everything.

You used to joke around that they were the ones dating.

"Yep,"

Daniel dared to kiss you in the open.

His lips were pressed against yours, hands squeezing your ass - while his hat partially covered your face. "Daniel," you whispered, surprised by his sudden bravery. "Y/N," he repeated your name.

He pulled away from your face - hands raising to settle on your waist. "What are you doing?" you chuckled, pecking his lips. The both of you were lucky since it was lunchtime - thus, there weren't any people in the garage. "Kissing you?" he answered.

"How courageous..." you hummed while he pulled your body closer. "Wanna see how far this goes?" he joked - pulling away in time when another personnel enters the garage.

"Daniel?" Christian raised his eyebrows. "We're filming content, sir." you quickly lied - pulling your phone out to pretend to be filming him. "Oh, okay - have fun then." he waved goodbye - not wanting to be part of another tiktok.

Daniel wiped the tears away from your eyes. "Hey, twitter is a shitty place. Twitter is irrelevant, like who even uses it?" he calmed you down - hiding your phone in his pocket before you could read more hate tweets about you. "If someone feels this about us, I feel shitty - Dan." your voice sounded hoarse from the hours of crying.

"That's normal - but it doesn't mean that you'll live based on what anonymous people say." he reasoned, already used to the hate. "I know - but I never wanted our relationship to be exposed this way." you sobbed, burying your face in his chest.

"I agree, but my manager said that this can be our chance to fuck them up. We need to own our narrative."

F1 FANS DISCORD SERVER

kittenwhispers: anyone else find it weird that daniel is dating some 23 year old 😭? - thebossdaddy: it's weird fr WAHAHA

rosesforrose: it's not weird, i think they look good together. daniel's always been childish anyways. (edited)

annieunnie: nah i ship them so badd acck

danielricciardo: Annabelle in theaters near you. 🤣

0 comments 174,393 likes

comments have been restricted.

[mrs-monaghan]

So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

.

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Tweet

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Tweet

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜

[modelbus]

Tommyinnit x masc nb reader where they don't try to hide their relationship from the internet, but at the same time refuse to confirm nor deny it.

Like...they have pictures online of them on dates, wearing each others clothes, in each other's background during stream, etc, etc. The evidence is right there??? But they don't confirm it. Matter of fact, they don't even "know who that ugly mug in the picture is".

Wilbur is the first one to leak their relationship tho, woops.

”whoops” killed me. Also, look at my funny little guy in the photo! It felt fitting.

Pairing: CC!Tommyinnit x Nb!Reader (romantic)

Evading Evidence

Tommy’s streaming when you get tired of scrolling through Twitter. Normally you’re able to sit on his bed, just out of sight of his camera, and catch up on all the drama. It’s been a quiet few days though, so you’re already bored.

“I’m going to run to the store real quick.” You say, getting up.

Tommy turns, neither of you acknowledging the stream. Chat’s going crazy about the fact you were there the entire thirty minutes Tommy’s been live for, and possibly longer.

Despite the fact you and Tommy were dating, neither of you had let the internet know yet. Sure, there were pictures and Tweets and remarks basically confirming it, but both of you were careful never to say it outright. At this point it was almost a game.

“Oh, can you get me twin gummy snakes?” Tommy asks, practically begging you with his eyes.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I need fuel and you love me?”

You consider it for a second before giving in. “Fine. I’ll be back in, like, ten minutes.”

“Thanks! Don’t get run over!”

“Why would I- never mind.”

Tommy doesn’t turn back towards the stream until after he hears you leave, shutting the door behind you. It’s only then that he takes notice of the chat freaking out over his words.

“Chat, what the fuck are you talking about? They don’t love me. Actually, I don’t have a clue who the fuck that was!” He exclaims. “Back to Minecraft.”

-

“Hey, is this okay to post?” Jack Manifold asks, practically shoving his phone into your face.

You take it, examining the Twitter draft. It’s a selfie he took before the filming of the latest Tom Simons vlog. Behind him you can barely see you and Tommy curled up on the couch together, looking at something. The photo is captioned “Tom Simons vlog done.”

“Sure. Tommy?” You ask, handing the phone over to him.

He barely takes a look at it. “Yeah.”

“Thanks!” Jack says cheerfully, immediately posting.

“Time to fight the stans like our lives depend on it.” You joke, already opening Twitter and navigating to Jack’s profile.

“It’s fucking funny.” Tommy laughs.

“Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. What’re you tweeting?”

“I’ll reply to yours.” He leans over to watch you type out your reply, reading it aloud. “'Not Jack photoshopping the background'.”

“Are you two ever going to tell the internet?” Jack asks, laughing a little.

“Oh, the internet definitely knows. They just chose to believe us when we lie to their faces.” You answer.

“I’m replying ‘incredibly disrespectful.’” Tommy announces. You get the notification of his reply right after he says it.

“Don’t get me canceled.” Jack sighs.

“No promises.”

-

"Why are you talking about Tommy so much?" A donation asks.

You were doing a just chatting stream, spilling some fun stories. A few of them had been dates with Tommy, but you didn't call them dates. Chat still had their suspicions though.

"Because I hate him." You deadpan, staring into your camera. "Worst person ever, kill all Tommyinnits."

It barely takes a second for the chat to react to your words, thousands of people calling you a liar. As your eyes flick through messages, one catches your eye.

"Why are you wearing his hoodie then, hm?" Gets read aloud. "Well, you see, it simply isn't his. This very clearly branded Tommyinnit hoodie? Mine."

It's merch of his that hadn't shipped yet, his name displayed across your chest. The only possible way for you to have some would be him giving you some or you stealing his. One guess as to what you did.

Yeah, you took his.

"I have the fastest shipping in the world guys, you have to believe me."

Nobody believes you. It's not even the first time you've worn his clothes, just the first you've worn them on stream. Maybe you should've been a little more careful, but oh well. Who really cares anyways? The game was fun, but not too serious.

"Besides, as if I'd ever wear something Tom fucking Simons tainted with his gremlin hands." It's a fun little jab, one you know he'll hear about later. Probably from Twitter.

"Hey!" Tommy yells from somewhere in the flat.

Or maybe he'll hear about it right that second. He must be watching your stream, making you smile.

"Sorry." You say it in a way that clearly shows you don't mean the apology, laughing to yourself a little. After running a hand through your hair, you speak again. "Did I tell you guys about how I almost killed a person by riding a bike the other day?"

-

Of course, all jokes eventually end. This one just happens to meet its death in Wilbur's hands, live on stream.

“We’re out, we’ll see you tomorrow for the vlog.” Tommy says, pulling you to your feet.

It’s been over an hour of being on Wilbur’s stream, stuck in his little cramped office. One person was fine, two could fit, but three was just too much. Besides, you knew Tommy’s limit was an hour.

“Have a good stream!” You tell Wilbur cheerfully, shutting the door before he gets the chance to say goodbye. To make up for it, he waves.

“And there go the lovers.” Wilbur jokes to his stream, putting himself back into the middle of the frame now you and Tommy are gone. “Off to do whatever they do.”

It barely takes a minute for chat to explode, making Wilbur realize exactly what he just did. His face drains of color as he sits up.

“Shit- fuck. It was a joke, guys. A joke.”

Like a dog with a bone, chat’s already taken his words and ran with them. Wilbur’s fuck up is beyond repair. Instead of digging himself a deeper grave, he just messages you and Tommy.

You’re both back in his office in a matter of seconds, having sprinted back down the corridor. It wasn’t that you were upset, more just panicked. This definitely wasn’t how you meant to confirm it.

“Well… shit.” Tommy finally speaks, just off camera. “You’ve leaked it Wil.”

“I didn’t fucking mean to!”

“We should leak something about you in return.” You joke.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to!” Wilbur quickly defends himself.

Tommy pokes his head into the camera frame to address chat, grinning to show he isn’t pissed at Wilbur at all. You laugh, waiting to see what he’ll say.

“Oi, chat, you’re all fucking dumb. Took you lot long enough.”

Wilbur sags with visible relief, glad neither of you are going to kill him for his slip-up. Now that it’s established he didn’t ruin everything, it’s a lot funnier.

“We’re going to miss the movie showing.” You announce, checking your phone for the time.

“Fuck. Bye again.” Tommy laughs as you drag him out the door.

When the door shuts, Wilbur laughs and shakes his head. “Whoops?”

[quokkareactions]

Seventeen reaction to jealous s/o:

Part 1

Well this was a handful. I spent so much time writing it and I have to post it in parts because it would be too much to handle for tumblr. Also I only proofread it once so sorry for any spelling errors. Now have fun guys❤️

Seungcheol:

- you were walking in the city

- on your way to the café where you were supposed to meet Seungcheol

- you were waiting for the light to turn green when you saw him standing in front of the café and laughing with some girl

- you've never seen her before

- something might be wrong with you but you immediately assumed the worst

- you were practically glaring at them while crossing the street

- that's when he spotted you

- when he realised that you were angry he quickly connected the dots

- too quickly, you thought (or maybe he just knows you well but whatever)

- he welcomed you with a kiss on the cheek

- "Hey, honey. I don't think you've met my second cousin, right?"

- you were sooo embarrassed and he didn't let you forget about this for weeks

Jeonghan:

- "Are you ready? We have to leave in 20 if we wanna get there in time"

- "Do I have to go?"

- he looked at you with confusion in his eyes

- "I really don't want to watch the make up artist flirt with you again" you whined

- "Wait, are you jealous?" he asked with a smirk

- "I so wanna punch you in the face right now"

- "And I so wanna kiss you and tell you that you don't have to worry about her, because you're the only one for me"

- "Then do that" you said with a smile

- "Meh, we don't have time for it. Get ready fast" and with that he left you alone pouting in your bedroom

Joshua:

- you were sitting on your bed scrolling through twitter and saying that you were annoyed would be an understatement

- every second tweet was about your boyfriend and Joy from Red Velvet

- I mean, come on, they looked at each other for a millisecond at an award show and now everyone is shipping them like crazy

- after a while you turned off your phone and threw it to the other side of the room

- and Joshua arrived just in time to see it

- he was quite surprised

- but anyways he picked up the phone then sat down on the bed handing it back to you

- you took it and threw it away again

- it's actually mind blowing how the phone lived through this without any damage

- he looked after it a loud sight leaving his lips while he turned back to you

- "What did it do to make you this furious?"

- "It wasn't the phone, it was you"

- "Then what did I do?" he asked with raised eyebrows

- "Have you been on twitter lately?"

- "Not really, why?"

- with a groan you held out your hand in front of him

- after a little thinking he took out his phone from his back pocket, unlocked it and put it in your hand

- you clicked on the twitter icon and without too much searching you found the tweet you've seen 2 minutes ago on your phone

- you shoved it in his face and waited for him to process it

- "What the...?"

- "Yeah, it's everywhere" you said with a bit calmer voice

- "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm really, really sorry."

- he hugged you extremely tight and it didn't matter how many times you said "It's okay" he kept apologising

Junhui:

- let's be honest guys, he'd have no idea what's wrong

- why are you sulking alone in your room since you got back from your parents'?

- but what were you supposed to do when he spent more time with your sister than with you

- you loved your sister but she always made you insecure

- and the fact that Jun was chatting with her all afternoon made you feel horrible

- so when he finally knocked on your door an hour after you got home, your tears started pouring uncontrollably

- "Don't cry, bubs. What happened? Did I do something?"

[theflyingfeeling]

Why I think Niko/Tommi is an amazing ship - The essay

In this literary masterpiece and research I will focus on why Niko and Tommi would make an amazing pair. Facts are based purely on assumptions of their characteristic traits and on my own subjective insight of their personalities. <3 I am also only inclusively focusing on them two and not on others in the band.

Characteristically I think Niko and Tommi would compliment each other very well. They are both introverted, whereas Niko is more outgoing and social and Tommi likes to keep his public distance. Niko tho had multiple times brought it out that he needs lots of alone time. So this has given me a picture of a CEO-guy who will handle the public image like a pro and wants to keep all the strings in his hands and go against anyone who dares to give him or his friends a hard time. And then he will hibernate in his own corner to charge the batteries and observe the situations and analyse what would be the next step forward. I feel like Tommi is an observer too, and reads people around him very well. He notices stuff and comes up with simple plans to avoid/solve/maintain the situation X and helps Niko to plan their next theoretical moves.

Tommi also gives me storyteller vibes. His using of Finnish is somehow so rich and again: his observer-nature supports this too. He knows how to keep stories interesting with the word-choices (which is most likely unintentional, he has just learned to talk like that) and intonations and rhythm of his speech. And Niko the lyricist and creative mind would love to listen Tommi talk and either relax listening it or let the inspiration wash through him. Tommi could talk hours and Niko wouldn't get tired. And similarly Tommi appreciates Niko's ability to come up with lyrics and melodies and prefers to fall asleep to his voice. Also they both have the worst (=best) sense on humor so they will just try to outdo each other in horrible dad-jokes and situational comedy.

Lastly I want to meantion that their size difference is so hot!?!?!? Niko would fit just perfectly in Tommi's arms! Also we have seen couple of video-clips of Niko being manhandled and that man likes being roughed up a little bit. Who is better to pin him against the wall/mattress/kitchen counter than a big and strong drummer? 😌 Otherwise I think they would both just enjoy quiet, mundane and domestic love where they can fully embrace their need of their own space and just quietly love each other. 🥰

Loppu

omg 😭😭😭 I love you, Niko/Tommi anon <3

a literary masterpiece indeed, because I for one am now fully convinced they'd be a great match 🥺💕 they really do seem more alike than one might imagine at first glance, and it's obvious Niko adores Tommi - then again, who doesn't? 🥰 your observation about Tommi's storyteller vibes vs. Niko's lyrical genius vibes is an excellent one and it reminds me of Niko's tweet about Tommi saying he's most definitely not gonna invite any of his bandmates to his wedding (<3) but they do get an invite to his funeral to carry his coffin made of lead (<3), and yeah, it's safe to assume Niko giggled at that for hours with hearts in his eyes for Tommi 😂🥰

If you don't mind, dare I also add what @johnnyporko and I talked about in the DMs that night you sent the first Niko/Tommi ask: they're both the hermit type of guys you know, so it's easy to imagine them retreating to some cottage in Lapland to chop some wood and have sauna and go skinny dipping in the lake and read in bed together in the evening (perhaps some old Donald Duck comics) 🥺

and yeah, the notable size difference was also mentioned 🙂

[kimium]

I’d love to hear your favourite headcanons for Chrom/Robin in Fire Emblem 👀💜

Hello friend! Thanks for this ask! As many know, my favourite ship from Fire Emblem Awakening (and probably the entire franchise) is Chrobin! Male or female Robin, it doesn't matter to me. Sadly, I don't have many head canons for them. However, I have some individual character head canons for them. M34GS said it's fine for me to talk about those in place.

Also, I'm going to talk both canon ideas and modern AU ideas.

My head canons about Chrobin + some character head canons

Chrom and Robin are an Adorable Couple / Sickeningly Sweet

Chrom is already a himbo (see: him canonically eating an unpeeled orange) and a fantastic leader. Couple that with Robin's tactical mind and thoughtfulness, and I think these two are an adorable couple. They're the kind who are always thinking of one another, checking up on their well-being, and offering to help. Acts of service are probably their go-to ways to show affection as both are busy people.

This also ties into a joke I had with ObscureReference where if this is modern AU, Chrom is the one live tweeting at some sort of gala how much he misses Robin and wants to leave to be with them. They accidentally spawn the internet Screaming about "Relationship Goals" and "Get yourself a spouse who -insert whatever Chrom and Robin are doing to publicly display their love and affection to one another-" memes.

(Also, the way they interacted in Engage?? Just staring into one another's eyes the entire flipping time?? Their cut scene with Lucina? We get it, you're in LOVE. And speaking of spin off series, I am STILL screaming over their Valentine Alt. Duo Chrom? More like Married Couple Chrobin LOL.)

Chrom and Robin are Super Devoted parents

Due to both of their upbringings being less than ideal (Chrom relying on Emmeryn as a guiding figure rather than their dad. Robin's father being... yeah you know... a worshipper of Grima), I think they fear being bad parents. Especially with the knowledge of the bad timeline. Anyways, I think this means Chrom and Robin try their best to be great parents to Lucina and Morgan. Canonically this means making sure they have the childhood they were denied in the bad timeline. In a modern AU this means being involved in their lives, such as taking them to Lucina's soccer games or Morgan's science fairs, etc.

Modern AU idea only: Robin is lowkey possessed by Grima

Another joke I have with ObscureReference, we are both loving the idea of Robin being possessed by Grima. They share a body in a similar style to Itadori and Sukuna from JJK. Except in this joke, Grima is like a surly cat who Demands Worship and Attention, so basically a mild inconvenience. Robin is possessed by Grima? Yeah, old news to everyone. They just take Robin spewing black miasma out of his mouth with a shrug.

Chrom runs warm

There isn't too much to this one. I think Chrom runs very warm and is perfect for Robin to snuggle and cuddle.

And that's about it, sorry! I don't want to just make things up on the spot to pad this out, but I had fun talking about my favourite couple!

[ivyial]

I'm shocked that Leshley/Eagleone is classified as a "rare pair".... like... the potential these two have. It's one of the rare (ironically) ships where both parties could end up genuinely happy together, despite horrific circumstances lmao. Why in the world isn't it more popular? Simple answer? People have no taste and can't read between lines. 😤

(omg my first ask thank u ily)

no cause exactly. i tweeted something similar a few months ago about how people go wild for disney fairytales but not this. especially since at the time, the new little mermaid movie had just come out and everyone on twitter was losing their minds over it. people love a good fairytale, so it's surprising that leshley/eagleone gets this much hate. like the reply to the tweet said, it's probably a matter of other shippers not wanting to change their mind because unfortunately, people are very intense when it comes to ships!! you either have to be all in or fuck off, which to me sounds like a ridiculous way to approach shipping in media. so that's the first reason why, and arguably a dumb one too, because when it comes to franchises that are not going to give you romance outright, like RE, there is no need to invest this much energy into a ship. it's not like there is a ship war to be won, at least not in my eyes.

the second reason is the whole age gap thing. since the loudest part of fandoms is populated by literal teenagers who apply high school logic to both fiction and real life adult situations and a teenager thinks it is wrong for a 14 year old to date an 18 year old (and they'd be right, because age gaps matter greatly as a teenager, due to puberty and the various experiences you either get or do not get at a certain age), they automatically think that any and all age gaps between adults are wrong. UNLESS it's people who are their parents' age. i've seen it happen a lot on tiktok, where kids would be like "you can't ship them, they have a 7 year age gap" and someone would inevitably reply "but my mom is 35 and my dad is 42". so they'd be forced to acknowledge that "yeah, but it's different in your case, they're old enough" (???) because you're not gonna tell a stranger online that their parents' relationship is "morally wrong" (though, honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if someone did).

teenagers, as well as teenagers fresh out of high school, are convinced that your early twenties are the direct follow-up to your high school experience. that is straight-up not true. as soon as you get to 20, everyone you know will be in radically different places in life. i mean, i have friends who are already engaged, some who have never been in a relationship, and i know someone from high school who had a child at 19 and got married right after. to them, maturity can only be gained much later in life, like in your thirties, because their parents are around that age, or because that's when people start to have kids these days. maybe i'm wrong. but that's how i see it.

and that's when they start to resort to the sibling coded thing lmao. and if you look at tweets or tiktoks about leon and ashley's dynamic (not framed in a romantic manner), everyone will go out of their way in the comments to make sure that it's known that THEY VIEW THEM AS SIBLINGS GUYS. like the average reply will be "THEY'RE SO SIBLINGS" or "MY FAVOURITE SIBLINGS" which makes me throw up in my mouth a little. like okay, we get it. you don't ship them and you think no one should either. no need to be flamboyant about it.

and then as you mentioned, there's also the fact that people can't read between the lines, or maybe they don't want to. when i played RE4R, i didn't pay attention to leon and ashley that much because i was too focused on the game itself hahahaha. my primary takeaway was that they had a great, supportive dynamic, and then i'd noticed a few moments like ashley flirting with leon about the armour, or leon's fingers trailing down ashley's arm for no reason on the bed in chapter 13, or leon's weirdly boyish and bashful tone when he says "can you make it down? i can catch you" (seriously. he tried to make this into an incentive and i'm not sure who it benefitted more, him or ashley). after seeing some eagleone content and analyses, i was like hang on a sec... there is something there. i will admit that i personally suck at flirting, or at recognising it for that matter, unless i try really hard. i mean, a guy once tried to get my number with a magic trick, and my only response was that he didn't logically need my number to tell me what my card was, and he could tell me right there and the trick would be the same. like no shit girl. you're fucking dense LMAO. but that's just a me thing. when you really start paying attention, leon and ashley's flirting gets pretty obvious.

i've also seen people argue that ashley's crush on leon is "innocent" and she just views him as a hero so that's why she thinks she likes him. you know, because a 20-year-old woman can't make decisions for herself. she doesn't know any better. obvious sarcasm. in wanting to protect (young) women, people are starting to shelter them to the point where we're going backwards towards (male) guardianship.

so so sorry this ended up being longer than i thought help

[ingravinoveritas]

I was told about your blog and have been going through it for the last couple of weeks, and I am a little confused. I guess I don't fully get the tone of your tags and comments, sometimes I think they are ambiguous but other times they seem like statements of fact. Do you actually really think that David and Michael are lovers irl, spend weekends together, have threesomes with Georgia etc? Or is it more like fanfiction, make-believe situation? Cause I just can't grasp it...

Hello, Anon! Well, I'm glad to have you here on my blog (though somewhat amused/perplexed that you were "told" about it...in a good way, I hope!).

I do indeed ship Michael and David, which comes from the strong inclination that I have had for a long time that there is something more than just friendship between them (Michael calling David his lover four years ago probably has a lot to do with it...). Sometimes my comments/tags are sarcastic or joking, depending on what it is I am posting, but there are other times where I do feel it more strongly, and am being more "serious" in what I write--especially when I have a lot of folks DMing me or sending Anons saying they've noticed the same things I have--which is probably why those comments come across as statements of fact.

One thing I always try to let folks who are new to my blog know is that everything I post is speculation based on things that Michael and David have actually put out there into the world. So while I have indeed written fanfic about Michael and David, it's almost become superfluous because as time has gone on, they seem to be writing it about themselves. There's hardly any situation that I could conjure in fiction that somehow doesn't end up being bested by what Michael and David have been saying and doing themselves in real life.

Since 2019, a great deal has happened that has opened up the realm of possibilities significantly, so much so that I felt it necessary to make a post with a timeline of the polyfuckery (as I call it) that has ensued with Michael, David, and Georgia. The post outlines the numerous tweets/comments/etc. that have further fanned the flames of speculation about whatever it is that's going on between them, so I would encourage you to check it out.

For my part, although I have answered past Anons (such as here and here) who have posited various types of threesome scenarios, I feel like Michael/David/Georgia's arrangement is more of a 'V-style' poly relationship--meaning David is in a relationship with Georgia, and David is in a relationship with Michael, but Michael and Georgia are not in a relationship with each other.

I also tend to see Georgia in more of an "instigator" role (as the examples in the timeline post will show you). So kind of how, if we picture Michael, David, and Georgia in a high school cafeteria, Michael would be the one sitting down and winking at David, David would be standing near the table shyly and blushing bright red, and Georgia would be the one who "accidentally" bumps into David while walking by with her tray and pushes him right into Michael's lap. Just like, "Yeah, yeah, come on guys, get on with it already" and rolls her eyes and makes it happen.

So I hope this helps to explain things a bit more for you, Anon. I'm not sure how far back you've gone in my blog, but I would recommend looking through my #ineffable lovers tag (which is what I use for Michael/David, vs. #ineffable husbands for Aziraphale and Crowley) to learn more. Thanks for writing in! x

[beevean]

I came across your IDW post about which ships have been teased in the comic so far, and something that I always find.... surprising, I guess, is that fans do not seem to notice or care just how many ones contain Sonic. One day Sonic gets carried bridal style by Shadow and bam they're bfs now it's canon Sega approved this everybody!!!!!!! The next Blaze is making googly eyes at him and Sonaze canon everybody!!!! Sonic held Lanolin's hand it's canon!!!!!!! Amy is gushing and blushing and oh my god it is totally canon!!!!!!!! (Where, funnily enough, Sonic carrying Amy bridal style elicited much less of such a reaction than Shadow carrying Sonic did in the It Is Canon Now debate, at least from what I could tell on Tumblr. Though considering this is Tumblr, I can think of some reasons, lol.) This happens in the games as well, except the fact I do feel those lean a lot less into deliberate ship teasing like the comic does.

And you know.... if there is so much to be teased in IDW and so much "canon" and every single issue at this point contains a different character for Sonic to be making his smug face at while they simp and/or get all tsundere... maybe it is a clear sign that all this means nothing and is only put in to make fans go "!!!!!! THEY APPROVED MY SHIP I AM SUPERIOR NOW TO ALL OTHER SHIPS CUZ IT IS IN OFFICIAL [*cough, cough*] MEDIA!!1!!1" as opposed to actually going anywhere for Sonic ship-wise? Not that the fans will ever realise that, sigh.

I noticed, actually. The only non-Sonic ships that so far have been teased are Whispangle (and how), Knuxamy in #62, and absolutely accidentally Staregg in the MV arc lol (I don't care how accidental it was, Staregg OTP in my heart :< starline totally wanted to clap those eggcheeks don't @ me)

I think I saw a tweet jokingly calling Sonic a slut when #63 dropped? Don't quote me on that though, I don't remember the phrasing but it was a joke about how many people he has flirted with recently lol (including the heavy Sonknux vibes of Frontiers)

(it's also funny that Sonamy gains far less traction than all those other ships lol. Maybe it's because it's almost "canon" and so not as interesting. Or maybe we know why :^) )

But yeah. I understand enjoying the crumbs of ship teasing, I really do, especially for the minor ones such as Sonaze (Sonanolin is kinda funny though lol, I doubt that one has many fans). But there's a difference between "HOLY SHIT THEY HELD HANDS THAT'S CUTE" and "HOLY SHIT THEY HELD HANDS IT'S TOTALLY CANON GUYS!!!". And cynically, the overabundance of teases involving Sonic can be explained as 1) him being the protagonist and the more interesting character to ship, to generate views and attention (only, like, 6 people cared about the Knuxamy tease and i was one of them), and 2) the dude is so irrelevant in his own comic that this is the best they can think for him. The OCs deal with a semi-serious plot, and the titular character protagonist of the massive franchise IDW Sonic is attached to is reduced to shallow fanfic fuel. Granted, I'll take slut Sonic over Preachy Pope Sonic any time of the day, but you get what I mean.

The Sonadow teasing is IMO the worst. Sonic emotionally manipulates Shadow in #6 by making leverage on the way he had been twisted to carry out Gerald's evil plans? OMG THEY'RE TOTALLY SHARING BEDROOM EYES SONIC SO WANTS TO FUCK HIS BF <3 Shadow is an utter cunt for the entirety of the Chao Racing arc? AWWWWW MY LITTLE GAY BABIESSSSSSS SONIC IS SO HAPPY TO FALL IN HIS ARMS AS SHADOW INSULTS HIMMMMM <3 NVM THAT SHADOW SAID IN #19 THAT SONIC DESERVED TO BE PAINFULLY INFECTED <3 <3 <3 And you know what I also roll my eyes at "I heart you too Shadow" from Prime, for how out of context it was taken. I didn't watch Prime in full, but I did read IDW, and there is no way you can see a healthy chemistry between Sonic and Shadow if you actually pay attention to the whole story and dialogue. ... the fact that Flynn hosted a whole Bumblekast episode dedicated to Sonadow at the end of Pride Month also doesn't help, he deliberately fanned the flames because he knew how much his fans would eat from his hand :\

As for the games, yeah, the ship teasing is usually played for laughs or subtle and understated. Amy went from comically chasing Sonic, to having more serious moments such as her hugging him in the ending of Frontiers. Knuckles and Rouge had some odd tension by the end of their arc in SA2. Sonic and Blaze had that whole "slowly holding hands" moment at the end of Rush. Sonic and Elise... yeah that one took a decade to be accepted for how prominent it is. ShTH is still the king of teasing ofc :P the series is mostly about friendship, not romantic love.

[heretherebedork]

Just a thought:

Mew (from tharntype) saying that it's all just a fanservice and then fans getting mad and filled with outrage at him for...telling the truth and some even in denialism (i.e. you're lying, the eyes tell a lot, but what about gulf doin this and so on)

Tells u a lot about delusion and how Mewgulf really did helluva job on fanservicing. I hope they get paid enough for these kinds of shit

And also some bl actors liking mew's tweet.

Fanservice really.

I mean if i could ask you Francis:

Would you do fanservice with ur friend, who let's say ships you and ur friend a lot for money?

Yeah, it's so important that people understand that actors are acting and are always acting if they're on camera, especially in circumstances where they have expectations of them and fans watching them.

You do not know them. No matter how many videos you're watched, no matter the behind the scenes, no matter what, you don't know them as a person.

Actors are real people but they're also actors and that fanservice? The flirting off camera? That's part of the job.

Would I?

I mean, first, no one would want me to seriously.

But would I? I mean, honestly, it would depend on the amount of money? There are a lot of things I would do for a genuinely life changing amount of money and fake dating feels like something I would be willing to do for a lot of money.

But I'm not famous. I'm not interested in a serious or real relationship and I'm not actually in that position nor would it affect my career in anyway to do or not do it.

Anyway.

I'm glad Mew said that, I hope it gets more common and it's a reason I'm deeply uncomfortable with the actor fandoms as a whole and tend to avoid as much of it was possible besides my occasional 'this actor is great!' moment.

And this is so, so pervasive. I once made a post pointing out that constantly referring to a friendship as a male crush was wrong and got argued with because it was a big actor pair and people were very clear that they believed there was a crush between them and that was why one actor got the job he did.

Besides downplaying his talent and how this entire thing works... the assumption that Everything They Say is True and Face Value and that they couldn't possibly be playing it up for the publicity is just... wild.

It's the same as when, in a horribly awkward moment in an interview, two actors started joking about how they never really kissed and it was all CGI. Like, obviously not true. But it was because the interviewers were asking in-depth questions about how much they enjoyed kissing each other and both the actors looked miserable.

Please stop sexualizing the actors. The characters? Go for it1! They're fictional! But the actors are real people and they deserve not just private lives but also respect for those private lives.

Seriously.

I'm not following any of this because I don't follow actors but I definitely respect Mew for saying it and being clear about it and being direct about it now that it's no longer a threat to his career. How many casual friendships between actors has this kind of shipping and fanservice irreversibly damaged?

(I have seen some of the tweets in question on another post so I do know a bit of what's going on but I'm not going to actively follow it or... willingly go on twitter.)

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Twitter

"Why is it that every time something happens- it's the three of you?" Tony pointedly asks Bucky, Sam, and you. You knew this wasn't going to be good when Tony rounded up everyone for an urgent, impromptu meeting. Now, you were all sitting around the conference room with a very annoyed Tony Stark standing at the end ready to lecture you all.

"You know I ask myself the same thing every single day," Bucky sarcastically quips.

"I honestly don't even know how I got dragged into this," Sam playfully huffs.

"You're the cause of this!" Bucky shouts. 

"Okay," Tony sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can someone please explain to me how this happened?"

"Um..I guess it started when Peter signed me up for Twitter and Instagram?" you reply.

"And why did he do that?" Tony says, looking pointedly at Peter.

"Come on, even Steve has a Twitter! Plus she's already got like a million followers!" Peter remarked.

"I have a question: how did you get verified before I did?" Thor asks.

You simply shrug. "I don't know- Peter set everything up. All I did was post a couple of pictures and fill in my bio."

Tony holds up his phone. "Yeah, let's take a look at that: Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

"You can't go wrong with Taylor Swift," you and Peter simultaneously reply.

"You know, this really is Sam's fault. She posted an innocent picture, Sam's the one that took those screenshots," Bucky interjects, pointing at Sam in accusation.

"And what screenshots might those be?" Tony exhales in annoyance.

"Well, you shouldn't have liked her picture so quickly! Literal seconds after she posted. And then you followed her back instantly, you made it too easy," Sam retorts, still laughing at the amount of chaos he stirred up with a few posts. "Plus her caption was 'sometimes all I think about is you' and then she tagged you!"

"Peter said I should give photo credits," you innocently explain. "James took the picture, so I tagged him. Then Sam commented, 'My OTP', with a heart. And I don't really know what that means, but then he tweeted, "'Grumpy x Sunshine ship confirmed?' with those screenshots. And then Wanda replied, 'Sam running their ship account confirmed?'"

"It's not my fault that he forgot to switch accounts," Wanda snickers.

"And then Steve replied, 'Sam explained what ship means- I ship it.'"

"Steve?" Tony prompts.

"What? I'm trying to appeal to a younger demographic," Steve scoffs, then mumbles, "And I do ship it... Besides, Nat's the one that replied to all of them, accusing me of helping Sam run that account- which I do not."

"Okay, all that's great," Tony interjects, rolling his eyes. "But that doesn't seem like something that would trend worldwide for 24 hours!"

"Just wait, it gets better!" Sam laughs.

"Of course it does," Tony sighs.

"In my defense...I didn't think you could zoom in on Instagram and- Peter and Steve approved it!" you exclaim, throwing Peter and Steve under the bus.

"You can zoom in?!" Steve asks, looking around the room to see scattered nods. "Ohhh...now this all makes sense. I wouldn't have approved it if I knew that."

"What was wrong with the second picture?" Tony grumbles, now rubbing his temples.

"Apparently you can see James sitting in my bed, taking the picture through the mirror," you meekly explain.

"Okay?" Tony exhales.

"Hold on, it gets worse," Sam continues, still laughing.

"You know the wall of Polaroids in my room?" You meekly ask. "Well the picture was me standing in front of it."

"People wouldn't have even payed any attention if Sam hadn't posted a screenshot of the picture zoomed in- I mean at that point just go take a picture of the wall and post that, Sam!" Bucky ranted. 

"Can I?" Sam asks, his voice filled with excitement.

"No!" Bucky shouts.

"You know, what you're all about to be banned from social media," Tony threatens.

"Who even calls it social media?" Sam teases. "You sound like an old man."

"An old man that has been watching people lose their minds over 2 pictures! And let's not even start on the fact that you're running an account of a relationship that you have nothing to do with."

"I beg to differ- I'm the reason they're together. And I don't run that account," Sam replies, crossing his arms defensively.

"You're telling me, that if I go and check the IP address that the account is run from, it won't be from your phone?" Tony accusingly asks.

"Well, maybe I got hacked," Sam offers.

"So you do run the account!" Wanda exclaims. "I knew it- tomorrow, post that picture of the two of them cuddling on the couch."

"That's it - I give up," Tony mumbles, walking away from the conference table in defeat.

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Masterlist

[landinrris]

do you know of any fics that explore their age gap? i always forget that they really are like 5 years apart, i feel like that dynamic is kinda interesting

Hey! I sometimes forget as well, and then it's like "oh yeah, okay cool 😭" I've gone through my bookmarks (which is by no means an exhaustive list) to try and pull some things together that touch on their age difference. Some of these are definitely more "in the spirit of" and touching on the gap in their experiences rather than "they are 5 years apart" The list got a bit long, so it's under the "read more." Feel free to add anything for the ones I inevitably missed or let me know if you'd like me to take your tag/work off the list!

"Canon"-based

⁘ and everything that i do is out of lovin' you by raikkonen (Rating: E)

Racing will always be his first love, but Lando is his second, and he doesn't want to imagine a life where he can't have both.

⁘ Free Practice- Romance Edition by f1princess (@f1princess) (Rating: E)

Lando drives cars at 300kph for a living. He got a hotly contested seat in the pinnacle of motorsport at the young age of nineteen. Experts call him the next British prodigy. Yes, Lando might be in his fourth season of Formula One but he still doesn’t know how kissing works, let alone other forms of intimacy. Cue Carlos, Lando’s best friend and former teammate who agrees to give him free practice sessions when it comes to romance. or: Lando and Carlos are friends with benefits but the benefit is experience and of course they are secretly in love with each other.

⁘ i don't ever wanna leave when you cry by peargasly (@peargcsly) (Rating: T)

the heady apprehension creeps through him like molasses – the sudden knowledge that something is wrong. lando half expects carlos to brush by him without a word and he starts reaching out before the prickling anxiety tells him to let this one go. but carlos’s eyes catch him in their snare and he’s always been hopeless under his stare. carlos’s name is on the tip of his tongue, but carlos is speaking before he can take a breath to say it. “think a little next time, i know you do not like to, but it could be us both if you do that again,” carlos says, voice low and biting. (or carlando post-brazil angst that is solved by the power of friendship and the looming presence of pierre gasly)

⁘ In the Wet by plastics (@shinyfakehard) (Rating: E; very E. pwp E)

How did you learn to get so good in the wet? ... These conditions are where the greats are recognized. - Carlos Sainz Jr. in Beyond the Grid, on how he won every British Formula 3 race in the rain.

⁘ like two ships that passed in the night - our story that gets told in many many years by palalabu (@palalabu) (Rating: T)

The long and intricate history of Lando and Carlos.

⁘ The life we built by formulacherry (@formulacherry) (Rating: T)

Lando is one race away from potentially being World Drivers Champion, Carlos and their kids go along to support him.

⁘ Until you came to me by phebes (@phebess) (Rating: NR)

Carlos Sainz, with the hair, the famous dad, the face - Carlos Sainz is going to be his teammate. In Formula 1. And Lando is supposed to just meet him in a marketing room at the MTC on a Tuesday like it's not something he's maybe thought about for 7 years. Lando really thinks he might shit himself. // Or: A fic based on these tweets from Lando in 2012. Title inspired by the song We Belong by Katie Herzig.

⁘ Yours by phebes (@phebess)(Rating: E)

Carlos watches Lando grow up. Carlos watches Lando explore. Carlos is not jealous.

⁘ You Crawled Inside My Head and Set a Fire by kolyarostov (Rating: M)

Falling in love with Carlos wasn’t an all-of-a-sudden thing, but it happens quicker than Lando would like to admit. One day while they’re eating lunch at the MTC during an off-week, just the two of them between meetings in mid-March, Lando looks up at Carlos laughing across from him, and just thinks: “Fuck." Or: This is how Lando and Carlos fall in love

Alternate Universes

⁘ best intentions by madlyiephasetwo (Rating: E)

And then Carlos asked, the tone of his voice one somewhere between amusement and curiosity, “And what about love?” *** Lando Norris does not wish to marry.

⁘ Dancing You Into a Lonely Night by kolyarostov (Rating: E)

The noise of someone yelling is probably just some stupid first-year who got locked out by a roommate who has headphones on. What greets Carlos instead is a boy about halfway down the hallway with a head full of unruly curls looking like he’s ready to go out. But he’s not out— he’s hammering and kicking at a door in a residence hall at 9:30 at night. A boy kicking and yelling— “Danny! You piece of shit, answer the door!” Or: Carlos has his night interrupted by a tetchy first-year, but maybe it's not all bad in the end

⁘ Every Minute Boy, Steady Rhythm Joy by kolyarostov (Rating: E)

It should be embarrassing that Carlos’ touch makes him shiver after being apart for less than twenty-four hours, even when the touch is above his hoodie. But Carlos sliding his hand around Lando’s waist and below his backpack does just that. Maybe it’s the subtle and blatant possessiveness of Carlos kissing his temple when he pulls Lando close, plain to see in front of Daniel. The press of Carlos’ lips still makes Lando’s knees weak. Before Carlos is able to tug Lando fully out of the room, Daniel calls back for them. Both of their heads turn, but Daniel’s look is inscrutable. He hums to himself and shakes his head. “Fucking of course.” It’s said mostly to himself, but Lando can’t help but grin to himself because Daniel’s right, in a way. The irony isn’t lost on Lando about who he’s ended up with. Or: Looks into Lando and Carlos' life after they decide to give their not-casual-one-night-stand thing a proper go

⁘ fall and fixture by heroics (@restacks) (Rating: E)

Lando’s already had a very poor time of it this morning. First there was no real milk in the break room refrigerator, so he had to put almond milk in his tea, disgusting. Then he caused a panic in the explosives lab by knocking over someone’s project. Now he’s faced with Carlos Sainz Jr., Foreign Operative #055.

⁘ God knows you're lonely souls by fox_this_lap (@redshoulderedblackbirds) (Rating: M)

Lando is an engineering student in Paris, celebrating graduation before he starts his career in motorsport, but there's more to the evening in the bar than he could ever had expected. Like the Universe meant for him to be there...

⁘ If the Love is Pure by loveleclerc (@holacarlando) (Rating: E; a/b/o)

After being attacked in the middle of the night by an unknown Alpha, Lando flees to Spain for protection from the Sainz Pack while his fathers search for a way to keep him safe in England. He never asked to be a male Omega, a designation rare beyond belief and sought after by Alphas around the world, but fleeing into the care of Carlos Sainz Jr. may just be the solution to all of his fears... and dreams.

⁘ i'll race you for pinks by cazio (@chubbydino) (Rating: M)

Heist!AU. Carlos Sainz Jr. is heading a heist operation based out of New York, following his father's footsteps as a criminal mastermind. Max Verstappen, the most feared mercenary in the business, is his second in command. Daniel Ricciardo is the deadly charmer that gets them whatever they need, from whoever they need it from. Lando Norris is the mystery. Carlos has never met him in person, but he knows Lando will be perfect for the job. But Lando is not exactly what Carlos envisioned a computer nerd to be. In fact, he is very, very hot.

⁘ Love is the Heritage (And Cousin to Death) by kolyarostov (Rating: E)

Carlos stays quiet, trailing Lando through the ornate halls that are simultaneously cold yet warm with their rugs and furniture. He watches the way Lando walks, the way the younger boy lets his shoulders fall the farther they get from the watchful eyes of his family. It looks like he’s shedding a coat, a mask specifically put into place for his family’s sake. The change is fascinating— there’s a story there that would explain all of Lando’s intricacies, and Carlos finds that he wants to know every single detail. The family had appeared to be perfectly amenable, so why is the change in Lando’s demeanour so painfully obvious? Or: Carlos travels to England to apprentice under Lando’s father for the summer and admittedly ends up falling in love along the way

⁘ ¡Revolución! by hibivrooms (@interlagosed) (Rating: E)

19-year-old Lando Norris, originally from the Kingdom of Anglosax, decides to pursue his undergraduate degree at the State University of Hiberia. There, he strikes up a relationship with a 25-year old Hiberian man, Carlos Sainz. Carlos is beautiful, kind, and deeply passionate about the Hiberian people and their struggles. Though Lando knows very little about he wants out of life, he knows one thing: he desperately wants Carlos. But against the backdrop of an increasingly tumultuous political situation in Hiberia, will Lando be brave enough to open his heart to all of Carlos?

⁘ the shadow of radiance by hibivrooms (@interlagosed) (Rating: E)

No one expected Galla, protector state of the Holy Principality of Seuloger, to turn heretic in such a violent way. After several years of Galla-stoked hostilities short of war, Anglosax and Hiberia set aside their differences in favor of a grand alliance to return Il Predestinato, Charles of House Leclerc, back to his rightful and Goddess-ordained throne. Years later, as a gesture of goodwill, Hiberia sends several of its squires to Fort Silverstone, where Anglosax's finest pages and squires learn to become fierce knights. Squire Lando of Norris, loyal to Anglosax beyond words, must contend with his own distrust of the leader of this Hiberian contingent - Prince Carlos the Younger of Sainz, a newly minted and already-decorated Knight of Hiberia. Prince Carlos is immensely talented, kind, suspiciously handsome, and seemingly dedicated to this alliance. But Lando isn't buying any of it - for the sake of Anglosax. Allegedly.

⁘ Señor Sainz by phebes (@phebess) (Rating: E)

Lando wants to die. Crawl in a hole, and die. His tombstone can read 'Here lies Lando, he did not speak Spanish.' Carlos repeats himself, looking at Lando with faint amusement in his eyes. Lando can feel his cheeks flush as his simply stares back, absolutely no clue what's being asked of him. // Or: University AU where Lando doesn't speak Spanish but ends up in an advanced class, and Carlos is a young professor determined to teach Lando Spanish.

⁘ What if we said goodbye to safe and sound? by tiredtiredsharl (@wolfiemcwolferson) (Rating: E)

Lando realizes as Carlos is telling them all about this job in London that maybe the feelings he's been carrying around aren't so straight or bro-pal-lad as he thought they were. It's really unfortunate that Carlos is set to move 5,478 miles away from him in just a few weeks. Told over a year and set directly after the end of our Piarles/Maxiel stories, we see Lando come to terms with his own feelings about Carlos, make a lot of mistakes along the way, attempt to get through the last year of his program with Alex, and realize that sometimes being the smartest person in the room isn't as valuable as he's always thought it would be.

[nanatsuyu]

hi I looove dashboard saints your characterization is so lovely <3 also was wondering your thoughts on Nora’s kandrew-adjacent tweet

Aaah thank you!! They're a lil rough and scrungly but I care them deeply ;;

And oh boi lmao that's a loaded question innit

I'll put under the read more in case people are trying to avoid anything new content wise!

So I saw a few of tweets and they weren't necessarily a surprise to me? Surprisingly lol

Kevin being the problem child wasn't out of my realm of thinking, but I'd never put it into those words. Though there is something to be said about her mentioning Kevin has a "homoerotic what are we" effect on people which like against also isn't a major surprise? (I'm thinking distinctly of that scene where he covers Neil's eyes because I don't know it was pivotal yes but also not the straightest thing I've read a man do.)

I am glad there was no elaboration like 'Andrew had unrequited feelings because of it' because honestly I think I would have had a meltdown if that was ever confirmed or something. Apollo do not grant me your gift of prophecy I need handled with kid gloves I am fragile.

But I mean in Most of my kandrew stuff with shipping goggles on, I always imagine Andrew being the one floundering a bit while Kevin is very blasé or unaware (or uncaring that he comes across that way). So for it to be canon, I'm like yeah alright.

The choking incident with Andrew not having and regrets also makes sense. That's a very Andrew way of considering it. (I have my own issue(1) with how that event went down but that's another story.) Kevin knowing Andrew would be mad also makes sense and it does really break my heart that he had already forgiven Andrew because he knew how he would react. Heartbreak in the 'oh god he knows Andrew so well' way. I've mentioned before that I always assumed from the moment Neil made him promise not to tell, that Kevin has resigned himself to his own grave, though. There was no way he was going to come out of that unscathed. I'm really just starry eyed over the fact that he knew it would happen and he wouldn't blame Andrew because he knew Andrew had fallen for Neil. Kevin holding onto all that remorse of not being able to do anything for Neil, to then be compounded with the knowledge that he would also be more or less playing a card in taking something away from Andrew? When Andrew had tried so valiantly to say he didn't care about anything or anyone? Kevin obviously knew that was a lie before Neil, but I imagine watching Andrew's feeling unfold for a person and knowing what was going to happen was gut wrenching. Kevin aka the boy with a heart of gold he's never been given the chance to really polish.

This all is completely, lovingly, amazingly, wonderfully rectified by the joy that is if andreil got married "Andrew would choose Kevin". Like I read that and my skin healed, my crops were watered, I never wanted for again. I dunno there was a part of me after reading that never felt a certain closure with their relationship (I mean sands the tattoo thing that helped and lives rent free) but I'd always kind of wondered if they ever got on after that. And apparently it was a no brainer if the option came up so I'm :')

This was long winded to say I'm happy to agree and incorporate these into my bank of knowledge but also please god no more angst for them I need to rest my weary heart

[kookiecrush]

"I certainly thought the taekookers that actually believed taekook were together were delusional when I first started delving deeper into the ship"

Same here! I remember I've always rolled my eyes at people who are adamant about two celebs secretly being together, and when I first joined the bts fandom, I remember I came across a tweet by a taekooker and thinking in my head "yeah right 🙄" I thought they were fully being delusional. And now look at me, a full taekooker lol. I also sometimes find it far fetched that they're actually together, but then something happens, or I think about something that happened in the past and I just don't know how to explain it. Mainly when it comes to how their company has dealt with them, but also just how they interact with one another. There always seems to be some sort of tension underlying all their interactions and I just don't see it with any of the other members. There's just a lot of weirdness imo with taekook and that makes me more suspicious than anything

Right, I used to see taekooker's posts and comments and I would think, "yikes, these people are delusional as hell!" 😂 That's why I get when people think we're delusional because I used to be one of those them. I think the fact that shipping is so common and so many shippers believe their ship is real automatically makes you think that there's no possible way one of them could actually be real.

What made their relationship so undeniable for me was when I put everything together. A questionable moment here and a suspicious moment there isn't such a big deal when you're looking at them individually, but when I put all of those moments together it just became so overwhelmingly obvious to me that there was actually something going on between them. It couldn't all be a coincidence. Just their behaviour alone was enough to raise questions for me. People act like we're just seeing what we want to see, but it's really not that hard to recognise signs of attraction, flirting, tension, jealousy, etc, in other people.

And then there was the members' reactions to taekook which only made their behaviour look even more suspicious. The stress they must have put poor Namjoon under 😂 and of course, the company's bizarre efforts to reduce their interactions on screen. They couldn't even show that they were sharing a hotel room and taekook were the only two members who were treated like that.