#that's a sad story and i wish you could see that

[daydreamerwoah]

Love Through It All Pt. 14

tw: mentions of cheating, mentions of divorce; hurt; angst; anger; rollercoaster of emotion; sadness; arguing; crying; mentions of therapy/counseling; kidnapping; violence; guns; injury; death

Please read Part 1 for my author notes for the beginning of this story if this is your first time here.

For the sake of the story.... let's just pretend that 141 and Laswell worked their magic and Price, Kyle, and Johnny made it just in time lmao! I know that's not how it works in real life :)

You jumped when you heard a loud BANG go off. But it wasn't the sound of Jax's gun that made you jump. It sounded more muffled - more distant - like it was on the other side of the door and down the hallway. You opened your eyes, releasing the breath that you were holding, seeing Simon very much still alive and looking directly at you.

However, the other four men inside of the room turned to the face the door with their guns pointed. Andrei said something in Russian before the two guards walked up to the door. There was a brief pause, as Andrei walked up behind them before one of the men opened it and they left the room.

God, you were fucking scared.

When the sound of multiple gunshots rang outside of the room, you wished you could have been able to cover your ears, the loud popping noises felt like it was deafening you. Surely, you wouldn't be able to hear after that.

In a moment of panic, Jax marched over and stood beside you, pointing his gun at the side of your head. Simon continued to look at you, the chaos not even phasing him. At least on the outside... on the inside, he was worried. Half secretly thanking whatever god there was that Johnny saw the damn text, but half nervous about whose shots were going off.

Then there was silence. Ghostly silence.

The only thing that could be heard were your small sniffles and Jax's heavy breathing. The anticipation of who was about to walk through that door had both you and Simon's pulse racing. But when three sets of footsteps quickly walked in, and you saw three men you instantly recognized, you wanted to let out a scream of happiness. And by the look on your face, Simon knew exactly who walked in, as his back had been facing the door this entire time.

"Let 'em go," Price commanded, his weapon pointed to Jax.

A menacing chuckle left Jax's mouth, "I will shoot her," he said, pushing the barrel of the gun against your temple, making you whimper.

"Let my wife go Jax," Simon said, making the man narrow his eyes at him.

"No," he growled, "You're going to suffer just like we did! All of you! I will kill every single one of you!"

"Then let's talk 'bout it," Johnny chimed in.

Jax threw his head back a little as he laughed, "Talk about it?.. we're done talking. Your nation should have talked about it four years ago! But now..... now you will pay," he quickly glanced at you, holding that evil smirk as always.

The moment his finger tried to pull the trigger, a shot rang out. John's perfect aim successfully pierced a bullet through Jax's head, instantly killing him as his body fell backward to the ground. Simon's body relaxed before Johnny rushed to his friend, cutting the ropes and freeing him, while Kyle ran over to you, doing the same as well as pulling the duct tape off of your mouth.

"You okay?" He asked. But you barely could nod your head.

Your body felt like mush and static at the same time, with the flow of blood finally making its way back into your hands and feet. But that wasn't the only feeling that you had. The second that Simon was kneeling down in front of you, you lurched out of the chair into his arms. You thought you had cried so much that you couldn't produce any more tears, but when his arms wrapped around your waist, you felt so many emotions. The one that topped them all was love.

"I got you, sweetheart. I got you," He said into the crook of your neck.

You couldn't even respond, the only noise coming from you was the slight wailing of cries. It was all too much. And it came crashing down all at once. But you knew one thing... you and Simon made it out alive.

************************************************************************

141 stood in the conference room while Laswell was displayed on the monitor. It was.. strange - talking about a mission that involved you. At least it was for your husband.

Never in a million years did Simon want to talk about such things like death and evilness when it came to you... but there he was, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest as Laswell explained everything; the truth.

Jax - whose real name was Leonid - had disguised himself as a British soldier in order to obtain access on base. His main goal was to use Pvt Williams as a means to get personal information on certain individuals... including 141. He had no intention of bringing you into the situation.. even when he sent you the videos. He was a young soldier - a pawn in the bigger picture - and at first, he didn't really want to get any civilians involved. (He had somewhat of a heart at least... or he wasn't as much of a killer as he seemed) That was something they had yet to figure out. But it made sense as to why he tried getting you to leave Simon by approaching you with some bullshit story that day.

But when his superior, Andrei, found out that things were taking a little bit longer than planned, he took over the operation, deciding to kidnap you. The only thing Jax almost begged to do was at least make Simon suffer for cheating on you.

But why did all of this happen? Why did they do this?

Because four years earlier, 141 captured their leader. Their commander.

Vladimir Makarov.

They wanted revenge.

"Nolan escaped. He's still out there Laswell," Kyle said.

When the three of them sneaked their way into the building and came in contact with Andrei and the guards, shots rang out, but somehow Andrei Nolan had escaped through the chaos. He was still out there.... and they needed to plan what was going to happen next.

"For now, we need to make sure everythin' is secure," Price said before turning to Simon, "How's Y/n doin'?" He asked.

He nodded, "Fine."

You were, for the most part. After you and Simon were rescued, you were taken to the hospital on base to make sure everything was okay. You kept telling Simon you really didn't need to go, but he insisted you got checked out. Because of the bruising on your wrists and ankles, they decided to keep you overnight for observation. It was ridiculous and you wanted to leave, but with your husband right by your side, it made things easier.

And by your side, he would stay until Price called him for debriefing. He didn't want to leave... he almost told the guys to come to the hospital, but you persuaded him to go and that you'd be fine. So he left.... reluctantly so. But before he did, he made sure the nurses kept an eye on your door. No one was allowed to go in except him or the doctor.

"Talk to her 'bout the plans yeah? Don't wanna risk us losing her again," Price continued.

Again, Simon nodded before leaving and heading right back to the hospital; to you. When he walked into the room, your eyes were closed. The quiet noise from the TV let him know you probably had been watching it before drifting off to sleep. He sat down in the chair next to the bed as he looked at you, eyes glancing down at your wrist. The purple bruises causing a tightening feeling in his stomach.

You were never supposed to be hurt. By him. By Jax. By no one in the world. You were pure - heart and all. Yet you had gone through more pain than he ever imagined. He didn't think he could live with himself if you had been killed.

With a soft sigh, your eyes fluttered open as you looked up at the ceiling, waking up from your dreamless nap. Your eyes shifted and met those of your husbands, a small smile forming on your lips that made his heart lunge out for you.

"Hey," you whispered, "How'd it go?"

His hand reached out to you and grabbed yours softly, his thumb rubbing the knuckles of your hand in comfort, "Fine."

You hummed, eyes grazing over his balaclava. You briefly remembered about the first time you met him. The balaclava intimating you in a curious way.. you were so curious about him; about his life But never were you afraid of him. He tried so hard to keep you at arm's length, even when he was falling for you. And you kept tearing down the shields he wanted so hard to remain between you two.

Nothing could have prepared you for what would happen seven years later. After he proposed. After the wedding. It was difficult to think about it.

"I'm sorry," he lowly said, making your eyes meet his again.

Softly shaking your head, "It's okay Si-"

"No. It's not," He swallowed the lump in his throat, "I ruined everythin'. I hurt you... in more ways than I ever thought I would. I don't deserve you."

His eyes began to water at seeing how yours were starting to. A moment went by as you stared at each other. You didn't know what he was thinking, but you knew how you felt.

"I love you," you said, making his eyebrows furrow a little. It wasn't that he didn't want to hear you say it. He just knew he didn't deserve your love anymore... yet there you were, giving it to him. "I love you so fucking much, Simon. And I always will," You said, making his eyes soften.

"You deserve better than me," He said.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you thought about what you both had become, "But I want to be with you."

It was hard hearing you say that for him. He knew every muscle in his body was telling him to let you go; to bring you peace and happiness. But hearing you say that you wanted to be with him made his stomach flip.

"I promise I'll do whatever you want. I'll make this right sweetheart," He said, his own tear falling from his eye before it disappeared into the cotton material of the balaclava, "I love you."

That small smile turned into a bigger one as you nodded, making a smile form on his own lips - one that you could even see with the crinkle of his eyes. He continued to hold your hand, the two of you sitting in silence and gazing into each other's tearful eyes.

You didn't know what the future would hold for your marriage. You didn't know if things would turn out the opposite of what you just told him. But one thing was for certain... you loved that man with all of you. And that's all that mattered - to love through it all.

THE END.

Well..... that's it for "Love Through It All"... (at least the initial plot). I would like to continue this on as Andrei got away so we don't know what happened after that do we? lol! If you're interested in it, let me know. I also may continue this on over on my AO3 account (I do plan to post this over there as well). And eventually I also may do some edits to the story and change a few things but I'm not sure yet :)I did have some people ask about doing an alternate ending where reader leaves Simon, so sometime this week I do plan to start writing that and post it. I just want to make sure I'm not changing too much to the plot. If you all think I may have left some things out and you want to ask questions about any "behind the scenes" on something in the story, feel free to ask away or message me!

This has been a joy to write and share with you all! I usually start stories and then get bad writer's block to the point where I never finish them, so I'm so glad you all took this journey with me!

I do have two other stories on my AO3 that I started, so I plan to continue them (possibly starting next week I will post a new chapter).

I love you all so much! Take care <3

Taglist: @kalypsoox @fruitymoonbeams-blogz @kylies-love-letter @xrosegoldwolfx @linaaaaa654 @jessicab1991 @darkravenqueen98 @yazyazali @thychuvaluswife @chloeforde @cownini @ssc7514

[sarahreesbrennan]

Also: is Long Live Evil a duology or a trilogy? I loved In Other Lands which I always wished had a sequel, so now I will take all the Long Live Evil I can get!

It’s a trilogy! It was a duology because, to be frank, it’s very sad to write the third book in a trilogy knowing that the series didn’t work (though much sadder to have the series cancelled so thank you previous publishers for not doing that!) and I was woefully afraid.

But also fear is the death of art, so I tried not to be.

Then the sequel got really long. And like at one point Long Live Evil was 300k. But this was 400k and it didn’t have an ending yet… (I do know the ending, but how to get there…). So I consulted my editor Jenni, to whom I sold the sequel and a different standalone book, and we decided trilogy!

It’s scary to be doing a trilogy - LLE is doing really well so far, but it’s very early days yet and things could collapse! - but also lovely, I love the shape of a trilogy and I have lots of stories to tell in the world. And if Long Live Evil continues to do well, I might have some news for In Other Lands fans at last. But for now, we need a name for the sequel. I have a name for book 3…

Also I understand the general opinion is that I wrote a cliffhanger (truly thought it worked as a stand-alone that people might like to see more of, oops at self) so I don’t want to leave people hanging and have prepared a treat.

If you saw me on tour, I told you what it is. :)

[adoresia]

Hello!! I saw you were taking requests for jjk this is my first time asking for anything but I was wondering if you could write something angsty for reader x Choso? It can be anything I’m just craving angst 😣😣

— 5 STAGES OF GRIEF

⋆.˚ WARNINGS : none it’s just sad ig 😅

⋆.˚ SYNOPSIS : In which Choso loses the love of his life

⋆.˚ SIERRA SPEAKS : I feel like I disappointed with this one I’m ngl😭 I kinda wrote it in Choso’s pov and got a bit to carried away, y/n is more read through his eyes if that even makes sense. Yeah I’m just gonna post it and see what happens cause idek atp. I hope I didn’t 100% disappoint you😔

Here we go again. The same reoccurring theme of death had once again pierced Choso’s heart, and this time it was unbearable. Even for a half cursed spirit like himself. The amplitude of his heart beats had grown heavier and heavier until it was consumed in sorrow, hatred, and most of all, anger. A feeling in his heart that wasn’t foreign, but is or was so intense that for the second time it felt like the furnace of hell had possessed his whole Existence .

But there he sat, bargaining with a pool full of his own tears. Yet again, over the loss of someone that he would’ve thought he could never lose. Someone he thought he would never lose, and yet he did. Again. In a house that was meant to reside the both of you. You and him, united, for the rest of eternity now only contained one.

And that was how it was going to be, even if he couldn’t come to terms with never feeling the warmth coursing through your veins. Even if it meant he could never again feel your precious heart beating exclamatively with love for him. Even if it meant he could no longer deny how softly you peered into his love-struck eyes, unraveling the story of what they told. Only because you could, because you were the only person who could.

Instead of you being there to tell him that everything would be okay, the stuffed panda that was poisoned with your scent was all he had left to comfort him. And although your aroma breathed through the stuffed animal you left behind purified senses, It would never ever be enough to purify his now eternally Brocken heart. Because without you anymore there was no point in his heart, there was no reason to live.

The space you once shared was now depressingly vacant. Everywhere he looked he was met with a soul shattering image of you, and it broke him even more that now your death was what he was forced to remember you by. Instead of the time he pointed up at the blanket of stars that stretched to infinity with you by his side. Everytime it replayed in his mind you had now become his very own hand-crafted star in the sky, now forever having to point up at you, it pained him that no matter how far he reached you were to far gone for him to bring back.

“Oh y/n. How I wish you were still here with me.”

[zeravmeta]

arc v is a story I think people always misunderstand and in part it comes down to the absurdly fumbled ending but even beforehand I think people misunderstand the point of egaoism cuz it's not really "never be sad idiot" but more "if you wear a smile, you'll feel courage and can go forward" which is the point all the way up to zarc who himself became spiteful and went insane trying to please everyone with "never be sad" ideology

yuya is deeply depressed and pessimistic and yet his aspirations to be a dueltainer (i like the dub name shut up) come not just from wanting to be like his father but in wanting to connect with others. jack himself says that yuya was only imitating his father without understanding what he himself wants because dueling is a conversation with your opponent and your audience, so if he is just parroting his father without understanding it, his dueling is meaningless. it is by design meaningless because it is not genuine to what yuya himself wants. It's why he moves on from just saying his performances out loud to an audience that doesn't care, but focuses on how pendulum is something he did not borrow from anyone else, his own voice. He uses pendulum as a way to connect with others by, as the summoning method works, combining everyone's voices, not just his own but that of his friends.

the ideas of bonds and connections extend throughout every yugioh series and with arc v the point of entertainment dueling and action duels being reijis "weapon" against academia ironically come from the fact that while solid vision can be a powerful weapon, duel monsters and dueling itself is just a game, a game people play to connect with others and make friends. yuya's whole focus on dueltaining is simply that he doesn't want to end this conflict with academia by just ruthlessly crushing his opponents and focusing on winning (which is what awakens zarc when reiji pushes him to do nothing but focus on winning), yuya wants to end the conflict by making people happy. he wants people to enjoy dueling for duelings sake and to see dueling as the game that it is, not use it as a weapon of war.

now, is this handled/conveyed perfectly throughout the series? I'll say no, because while yuya does make the effort and there IS notable pushback from his enemies, sometimes it wraps up a little too neatly, such as the city council disbanding suddenly or academias forces in heartland just giving up after like 4 duels (which is what lead to the whole egaoism meme in the first place). arc v has thematic inconsistency in how it presents its characters and yuya himself has been contentious for the longest time because he flip flops in this regard (even if the whole point of pendulum is that this dissonance will always exist by people coming into contact with other perspectives but grumble whatever its not handled perfectly here either),

BUT i would say it is followed through on up to the end of the zarc duel, because the whole point of zarc is that he was never able to take that step. he was never able to express his genuine wish to make people smile the way yuya could, which is why as the duel goes on you see zarc go from this overwhelming monster to an outright cowardly and scared person. his deck, design, everything about zarc ultimately shows him as a giant manchild who cant handle even a fraction of resistance against him because losing in and of itself (even if there would be no consequences) is the most terrifying thing to him. he's unable to win with any kind of courage. and yuya's friends, each passing the pendulum necklace between themselves, each telling yuya how his efforts pushed them all to improve as well, is what reaches him in the end. it was the culmination of their voices and how they all were willing to support yuya that reaches him, that yuya (and by extension zarc) are nowhere near being the unforgivable monsters they think they are

it's what zarc didnt understand, that he didnt need to always be happy or please an audience while ignoring his own struggles. zarc completely misunderstood how pendulum was born, because it was not his malice alone, but how it had dissonance with his heartfelt wish to make people happy as a duelist. yuya is the base personality born from his split because yuya is the embodiment of zarc's original wish, but yuya himself is never perfect either.

and yuya was okay with that. but zarc could never be.

[katsona-the-katsequel]

Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report

Part 4

16 new entries!

6/27 (Sat) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

It seems like I've worried everyone. I'm grateful, but there's no need to worry. As a senior, I can't show any shame. Well, that's enough about that topic.

More than that, it seems that the number of Apathy Syndrome cases is increasing again. This time there were many cases where apparently a pair of a man and a woman became Lost at the same time. Maybe it has something to do with the characteristics of the next large Shadow...

Well, it's best not to jump to conclusions.

We'll find out when the next full moon comes. Oh, and I heard a rumor at school that's bothering me. Apparently, something called a "revenge request website" is becoming a hot topic.

It's the sort of urban legend that says that if you post something on the site, someone will take revenge for you...

Sorry, I can't really explain why this story is bothering me. I think it would be more persuasive if someone with a keen sense like Takeba explained it. If I find out anything else, I'll let you know.

6/28 (Sun) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hello, I'm Junpei.

The two seniors are out again today, so we'll be taking a break from fighting in Tartarus.

Yukari-chan's sharp intuition, you know... Well, it certainly seems like there are times when it seems like she has some weird intuition. The moment I started talking about Yuka-tan, someone asked me from behind, "Junpei, did you say something?"

I wish I could have the keen intuition to sense Yukari's approach, like Lucia from Fuuka.

Whenever I say something strange in a report, it always comes back the next day...Maybe this is also a woman's intuition?

Hmm, Yuka-tan is truly formidable...

6/29 (Mon) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, this is Takeba.

Well... there's a full moon in just a week. I won't be able to do it every day, but I've been gaining strength in Tartarus and I feel like I've made progress. But, as expected, the lack of information beforehand is a problem. All we know is that it's a full moon, and we can't decide on a strategy. If anyone knows anything, please let me know as much as you can. This was Takeba.

7/12 (Sun) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Good evening, this is Yamagishi.

I'm a little proud that I've been talking for two days in a row, as if I've got all this equipment all to myself.

Today, everyone seems to be studying in their rooms. Sanada-senpai was out all day, but he came back after dark and it seems like he's also holed up in his room.

When will everyone be able to hear my voice? Maybe not until after the exams are over?

I've thought about it a lot, but I don't think anyone is to blame... We are all just doing our best to do what we can, but it's sad to see them separated like this.

Each person has something that only they can do. There are times and places when their power is needed. This is the case now, when there are so many people suffering from Apathy Syndrome, and in the case of SEES, and in the case of Personas.

Isn’t that what power is?

...I believe that everyone will understand without me having to say it. For now, let's do our best to study for the exam.

I have some research to do, so I'll just mess around with my device for a bit before getting back to studying. Well, good night...

7/13 (Mon) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, it's Takeba. Oh, exams start tomorrow. I thought I'd take a break and write up my activities for the first time in a while.

Ha. Seriously, after hearing that message from Fuuka, I can't not say anything at all, Fuuka is surprisingly cunning.

First of all, I'd like to say something about how everyone has been quick to avoid touching the sore spot and has not come to ask, yet have a strong aura of wanting to know what's going on.

I talked to the leader a bit about it, but I apologized to Kirijo-senpai for what happened the other day. Sorry for saying too much. There are still some parts I'm not entirely convinced of, but then there are people close to me who are suffering from Apathy Syndrome, and if I fight the shadows, I might be able to cure that, so I can't just sit back and watch. Yeah. That's right.

Oh, and thank you Chairman for your suggestion to go to Yakushima. I'm looking forward to it. Well, if you don't tell me a pun as a thank you, I'll be sure to not give you a cold shoulder just this once.

And then... oh, that's right. That idiot Junpei Iori is always complaining about swimsuits. He should be the only one without Yakushima, so I hope he gets a part-time job at the swimsuit section of a department store. This was Takeba.

7/14 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

Today is the first day of the final exams. Thanks to the Chairman's timely suggestion, the atmosphere in the dorm seems to have improved a little. Of course, there is still that tense atmosphere that is unique to exam periods, but this tension is not unpleasant.

To be honest, it's painful to see a child being lured in by sweets to get in a good mood, but that's just how it is. I guess that's actually what we made such a fuss about.

Come to think of it, this was the first time we'd had such a big fight since the current second-year students moved into the dorms... I hope this is a rite of passage, and if we can get through it, we'll be able to build a new relationship.

Also, apart from the Mitsuru incident, Junpei seems to have been annoyed for some reason, but are you okay?

Well, I'm sure you're overwhelmed with your exams right now, so I hope you can calm down. ...I'm probably not the one to say this here, Junpei. I don't know what happened during the exams, but I think you should stop yelling things like "Kabara! Kabara! Yakushima!" on the main streets.

7/15 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Sanada-san, don't you know the expression "samurai compassion"? Well, I don't want to say it.

Well, the problem with the insurance in Edogawa was so confusing that I exploded with anger on the way home from school. As for my case, I can see the answer in my mind, so it's okay. Thank you.

7/16 (Thu) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Good evening, this is Yamagishi.

Today was the third day of the exam. I was surprised to see that the history question that the teacher said "will be on the exam" during class actually came up. The teachers at Gekkoukan are surprisingly kind, aren't they?

The correct answer is that the reason the foreigners on the Black Ships were afraid of topknots was because they thought they would be attacked by guns.

This time, we had a fight with a large Shadow just before the exam, so Yukari, Junpei, and the leader didn't seem to be very prepared, and the second-years are struggling. But when they think about the ocean waiting for them after the exams, they feel a little better. Yakushima, huh... I bet the water is beautiful.

7/17 (Fri) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Uh, I'm Takeba. I just heard yesterday's report, and I thought the answer to that question was... a projectile, is that correct? Seriously? Wow, I should have listened to the lecture properly!

I chose the second one, "they thought it was a black fish cake." Because in the past, Westerners hated fish! Ugh, I failed!

Ugh, to be honest, I'm not that confident about today's physics lesson. I worked hard to memorize the formulas and laws, but I was wondering who discovered the principle behind contact lenses, which is a bit of trivia! I chose Da Vinci for now, but... God!

7/23 (Thu) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

This is Yamagishi now.

Welcome home everyone.

This is my first time living in a dormitory, but it already feels like home. Having a place to go back to, a place you want to return to... I'm a little happy.

Everyone is tired today, so we took a break from conquering Tartarus. I was tired too, but talking to Aigis kept me awake... and I ended up staying up late.

Aigis is really amazing. I'm a little good with machines, but I can't believe that this technology has not been known until now.

They say cutting-edge technology is created on the battlefield, but I can't help but think how difficult the battle against shadows was 10 years ago.

Ah, but Aigis herself seems more like a girl with a bit of a natural air about her than a weapon. How did you incorporate a mind into a robot? Mr. Ikutsuki also said that the core part is a black box and that he cannot touch it.

It's also strange that Aigis seems to know the leader. It means that he's having trouble recognizing someone who looks similar to him...

It's no good to take your friends' privacy so seriously, right? First of all, you have to think about how everyone and Aigis can get along.

Oh, that's right. Aigis's way of speaking is interesting, isn't it? It's not exactly military-like, but it's more like an honorific that she learned by mistake. When we swam together in Yakushima, she pointed at my swimsuit and said,

"I am concerned about the armor of that underwater weapon, but is it correct to understand that the emphasis is on maneuverability? If possible, I would like to try modifying it for underwater combat." This is the first time I've seen a robot that wants to wear a swimsuit.

Aigis, it's nice to meet you.

7/24 (Fri) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hi, Junpei here. What's up? You brought this report machine to Yakushima? That's fishy, ​​Kirijo-senpai! If I'd known, I could have brought you Junpei Iori's swimsuit watching hour.

Well... well, I can't run away, so I'll tell you... today is the day of the test results.

7/25 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Uh, this is Takeba.

As of today, we have a new member...or rather, he's not in SEES, he just lives in the same dorm, but a new member has arrived. As the Chairman said before, Amada-kun is moving into the dorm.

...I'm a little, no, I'm really worried, but I hope that Amada-kun won't get caught up in a fight or something like that.

The Chairman seems to be pretty matter-of-fact about it, and seems to be like, "If you can fight, let's have you participate."

I feel like I understand my senior a little bit, so I believe that she has no intention of involving Amada-kun. But even so, you still say "at this point," right? Oh, no, I'm not complaining, I know that you're in a position where you have to say that, and that's what you're saying because you yourself are thinking about it. As the head of SEES, you have to think about all the possibilities.

Yes, it’s just a possibility.

So, for now, please take this as my personal opinion as Yukari Takeba. I am against letting Amada fight. Unless Amada himself has a very good reason to fight, I am against it.

Please remember that.

7/26 (Sun) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hello, it's Junpei!

Hehehe, having a great summer!

But I'm always like this. I have an innocent heart that is happy to take a day off!

That's the image I want as a healthy high school boy! So, summer vacation starts today. Ah, the long and painful midterms, the long and painful final exams, the occasional but painful quizzes, the painful first semester, Wow! Well, anyway, summer vacation starts today. Let's have fun starting tomorrow!

…Huh. Well, I know it's stupid to make a fuss by myself, even if I say so myself.

However, I just couldn't help but make a fuss today...

Ai-chan did a simulation of what would happen if the number of Lost continued to increase, in other words, if we don't do our jobs properly... but the results were worse than I expected, and I'm feeling depressed.

It feels like a huge responsibility.

7/27 (Mon) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Uh, this is Takeba.

What's up, Junpei? You've given it some thought. Yes, that's right, it's a big responsibility. Well, keep that in mind and work hard. Just don't do stupid things.

Come to think of it, I didn't see the leader today, but he's doing intensive training for the sports club. He'll do his best, too. Maybe I should go to the archery club's voluntary training too...

8/3 (Mon) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, this is Takeba. Anyway, congratulations on winning, leader! You did a great job. The Myo-o Cup is a pretty high level, isn't it? If you keep going like this, I think you can make it to the national tournament. Will you be popular in the second semester? Ah, aside from that, I'd rather report something like this: "I happened to see this kind of person'' on TV, but I did see a strange person.

He was at a takoyaki shop in Saitodai Shopping Arcade, stuffing takoyaki into his mouth with incredible force. He had an athletic look, and I'd say he could be considered good-looking, but his face as he devoured it... It's what's inside that counts. This was Takeba.

8/4 (Tue) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hi...Junpei...it's hot.

It has been really hot since the afternoon, but the night was a tropical one just as expected! I wasn't expecting anything like that. I wish it would go against our expectations and snow!

Ugh, the heat is making my brain overheat, seriously.

<-PREVIOUS ● NEXT->

[nbstevonnie]

well-meaning but ultimately misguided colleague when i mention i haven't done any work for my exam next week: but don't you want to be able to tell your supervisor that you did at least some studying? :/

me, unable to explain that i am so close to burn-out that using my free-time to spend 2-3 hours with a past paper will actually make me more likely to fail the actual exam: well, there's still this weekend and i've taken the day off before the exam so

colleague: oh, okay :)

[3 days later]

me: hold the fucking phone. my supervisor literally didn't even know what paper he was turning up for when he took the exam. he couldn't say a fucking thing to me even if he wanted to

[butterflieswhisper]

ratssss i love the rats,,,, rats in paris ,,,,,,, does it technically being new standalone story mean they all did in fact die of hypothermia. man :(

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[no1ryomafan]

I said I was gonna talk more about MM on this blog again and I will probably eventually do analysis stuff I just need to prep this shit cause those post take time for the ones that are more coherent and not just my usual word vomits, BUT I do need to word vomit for a second about one thing that plagued my mind again today.

One of my biggest peeves with the series lore is how reploids and humans hardly have interactions, more so in the X series as Zero makes a bit more effort in this regard, given it’s a huge deal how reploids are seen lower then humans for the longest time- but what has dawned on me more of another factor that really sucks about this is how reploid society itself is ALSO unexplored.

We hardly have any idea of what makes them different from humans, we can only grasp basic details from what the games provide us but it’s unclear if there society is either “very much identical to humans but still has changes to make it different given their machines” or “completely different down to how they live and are treated”. I can’t speak for every robot media ever as I haven’t consumed them all-that’s a impossible task as some are bound to not interest me lol-but I feel like ones that are primarily having sentient robots and multiple of them rather then stuff like mechas where they don’t have much of a personality (usually) or the cases like Aigis in P3 where she is a robot in a mostly human society and therefore learns to become more human, they usually try to give the robots some kind of established society but MM only gives us breadcrumbs.

Like I know transformers is a bigger series so it got more chances to be incredibly fleshed out but I think about how my friends had told me about it and it’s society from just the comics is incredibly detailed that you even know they have religions n shit. And I’m not saying MM has to go to that extent even if it’s had metaphors of that in the later series, but more context to what reploid society has and doesn’t would be nice.

If they actually do need to eat and we aren’t supposed to guess that the energy tanks n stuff are there equivalent, if they ever got to have hobbies or jobs besides serving under humans especially when they have free will, etc. More of how they operate would be really nice to know but alas much like many things in this series lore it’s never going to be deeply elaborated on so I have to throw darts at a board.

[dollar-store-sparklez]

i miss dominion smp :(

[daydreamerwoah]

Love Through It All (Alternate Ending - Character Death)

tw: mentions of cheating, mentions of divorce; hurt; angst; anger; rollercoaster of emotion; sadness; arguing; crying; mentions of therapy/counseling; kidnapping; violence; guns; injury; main character death

Please read Part 1 for my author notes for the beginning of this story if this is your first time here.

Had someone ask for a different alternate ending so here it is :)

*This picks up from part 13 in italics*

The moment the video stopped, you locked eyes with Simon. Your puffy eyes made him internally broken, but his facial expression hadn't changed, and you didn't know if he was upset that you had gotten revenge for cheating on you... or if it was something else. You wanted to say that it meant nothing. That you were drunk and fucking mad at him... but you couldn't say shit with the tape still over your mouth.

"I have to say, she sounds.. so damn good. Doesn't she?" Jax teased as he asked everyone in the room. Even with Andrei not responding, since he was the one who had his tongue on you, Jax smiled at Simon like he had won or something, "How does it feel?" He walked and stood behind Simon as he leaned down so his face was almost next to his, looking at you, "Tell her." He demanded.

Simon's eyes never strayed away from yours as you continued to cry. The look on his face hadn't really changed, but his eyes told you exactly how he felt. The regret that ran through his soul.... he wished he could been a better man; a better husband. You didn't deserve any of this.. yet you stayed. You had wanted to work on your marriage even after the ugly truth came out. It was his fault, and he would forever kill himself over it. He would be grateful if you ever forgave him, promising to give you the entire world and more after he so much tore yours apart by cheating.

"I love you," he lowly said, making you cry even more. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart... for everythin'."

"Satisfying, isn't it?.. Finally realizing your mistakes?"

Simon finally tore his eyes away from you and looked at Jax, "Let her go."

He paused, acting as if he was thinking about something, "I thought about it," he teased, "but see... I can't do that. She's knows far too much... much more than our girl Williams," he joked - a terrible one that made both you and Simon shoot him the deadliest glare.

He raised his gun up, pointing it at you, making your eyes widen.

"Let her go, Jax," Simon raised his voice, "This is between me and you."

"Oh, it's not just me," he chuckled, "But I guess it would be easier to take you out first." He moved his gun to point it at Simon's temple.

You yelled through the tape and thrashed around as you tried to get out of the restraints. Your skin was probably raw at how much you rubbed at the ropes. You wanted to beg him not to shoot your husband.. you even tried to. But it was pointless.

"Say goodbye to your wife... Lieutenant."

Time felt like it slowed down as you and Simon looked at each other. He looked angry and sad, but no doubt love. He loved you for everything you had given him, everything you had done for him. And if this was the last time he'd see you... then so be it. He was ready... and you didn't want that. You weren't ready to leave him; to say goodbye.

The wails that came from your muffled lips had you choking on the saliva that bubbled up in your throat. You wanted to vomit so bad.

"Close your eyes love," Simon told you. You didn't want to. God you didn't want to. But you couldn't stomach the thought of seeing him die right in front of you, so you shut your eyes tight and waited for the loud popping sound of Jax's gun to go off.

BANG!

The moment the loud pop echoed in the room, your eyes opened as you looked at the scene in front of you. And god, did you begin to wail as you saw your husband. He was slumped over in the chair. A bullet wound at his temple. Jax, who had taken a step toward you as he smiled, made you thrash in your restraints forcefully.

"When they find you... tell them Makarov said hello," he said as he snatched the tape off of your mouth. You couldn't help the loud cry that left your lips as you looked at him with pure hatred.

"Fuck you!!" you screamed, but it didn't even faze him.

He and the rest of the men walked out of the room, Andrei giving you a malicious wink before he shut the door. You couldn't help the loud cries that continued to come from your mouth as you sat there and looked at Simon.

He was dead.

God, you wanted to fucking die with him. The pain of knowing he was murdered all because of something that was bigger than this would haunt you forever.

20 minutes later, heavy footsteps rushed through the door, and you almost thought it was Jax and his men again until you realized that Price, Johnny, and Kyle had come in with their guns drawn.

But it was too late.

The moment they saw how distraught you were and looked at their comrade with his head hanging forward, they knew. The fucking knew that they were too late in rescuing both of you. Johnny kneeled down in front of Simon, putting his fore and middle finger against his neck to check for a pulse like he'd find one. "Fuck," he said as he looked up at the other two men.

Kyle rushed over to you and began to cut away at the ropes that tied you up, and the second you were free, you leaped out of the chair and ran to Simon, wrapping your arms around his neck as you cried. He was cold.. ice cold damn near, but you held onto him like he would somehow take a breath of air.

But you knew he wouldn't, yet you still continued until Price tried to pull you off of him.

"Y/n," he softly said.

"No!" you yelled, "He can't leave me! He can't- He's gotta come back. We have to work through this! Please John... please wake him up!"

Fuck.

His sad eyes eventually met yours as he frowned, "I'm so sorry."

************************************************************************

Someone once told you in the past to read about the 5 Stages of Grief. You thought it was silly. What did you have to grieve about, when all you wanted was to be happy with your husband? You didn't think about that kind of stuff, especially when it came to him. But hell, did you wish you had picked up on a few things at least.

Denial.

Even with Simon being taken away when the police and corners arrived, you still couldn't believe he was gone. It was like you were waiting for him to come out of every corner to surprise you - like he did at the club. The first couple of days were the worst, as you would call his phone only to hear it ring on the nightstand next to you. The day of the funeral, you almost passed out twice from how everything hurt (physically and emotionally).

Anger.

The anger that flowed through your soul was more than knowing Simon cheated on you. It was more than knowing you cheated on him. You wanted to kill Jax. You wanted to make him pay for taking the love of your life. But you knew that was a crazy thought. It still didn't stop you from breaking things in your apartment - the glass of wine you were drinking out of, the vase on the side table. Days after the funeral, you quit your job because you couldn't stomach the thought of leaving your house because you were afraid and angry that Jax or Andrei would kidnap you again.

Bargaining.

You had no one to bargain with except whatever angels were up above to bring your husband back. And bargaining, you did. You begged and begged and begged like it would make a difference. You had even bargained for the universe to take you instead of Simon; to switch places with you.

Depression.

The worst phase you felt. You wanted to die. You thought about it so many times. It didn't make you feel better when you continued to go to counseling - for different reasons now. You just wanted to be with your husband again. The plaguing thoughts of taking a bunch of pills and never waking up crossed your mind so much during that phase.

Acceptance.

When things finally settled - and fuck did it take a while for that to happen - the only thing that had changed was knowing Simon wasn't going to come back by some miracle. Every other day (if not every day), Price, Johnny, or Kyle would come to check on you, along with Ava, who constantly brought dinner just to make sure you would eat.

It was heartbreaking. Simon was gone. It wasn't like you two had gone through the divorce, but he was gone from you forever.

But what hurt the most was the note you found in your husband's belongings when Johnny brought them from his office. Even he felt weird that they had cleaned out his space there, saying it wasn't right.

It was crushing to read it, and you cried in Johnny arms for a long time that he ended up putting you to bed and calling Ava to stay with you because he had to leave.

The note was written a few days before you were kidnapped. Simon once again apologized for everything that he did, the pain he caused you, and the deep love he expressed to you. He went into detail about his feelings and how he would die for you if it ever came to it.. Fuck it was like he had predicted his own death or something.

Why did life have to be so fucking cruel? Why were things the way they were? Just because you had accepted that he was gone didn't mean you were ever going to be over it. But you could only hope that somewhere up in the skies he was watching over you.

Not going to lie.. this was hard to write because I teared up proofreading this but let me know how you all like it!!

Taglist: @kalypsoox @fruitymoonbeams-blogz @kylies-love-letter @xrosegoldwolfx @linaaaaa654 @jessicab1991 @darkravenqueen98 @yazyazali @thychuvaluswife @chloeforde @cownini @ssc7514

[alchemiclee]

I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!

[mejomonster]

If enough of you hype me up with (hopefully not false) promises, I will watch Hannibal and liveblog it

Caveat: I like horror but I have a lot of sad tummy health issues so if for some reason the food scenes get too triggering it will just not be the show For me which is okay. Just means I won't finish the show

[bandsanitizer]

.

[savageboar]

im finding a like. disturbing common ground where people with murderous tendencies specifically like to target hamsters and cats in particular. and it's really strange. and distressing.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.