#that's why it's in parentheses

[the-meme-monarch]

my sibling is playing the pikmin 4 demo and pleaded with me to draw this

[carlyraejepsans]

for real WHERE does the idea that [utdr humans] are nongendered so that "you can project on them" come from. their literal character arcs are about NOT being a blank slate to be filled in by the audience

i think i understand the assumption on some level for undertale, because there is a very intentional effort to make you identify with the "player character" in order to make your choices feel like your own (the beating heart of undertale's metanarrative lies in giving you an alternative path to violence against its enemies after all, and whether you're still willing to persue it for your own selfish reasons. YOUR agency is crucial).

of course, the cardinal plot twist of the main ending sweeps the rug from under your feet on that in every way, and frisk's individuality becomes, in turn, a tool to further UT's OTHER main theme: completionism as a form of diegetic violence within the story. replaying the game would steal frisk's life and happy ending from them for our own perverse sentimentality, emotionally forcing our hand away from the reset button.

i think their neutrality absolutely aids in that immersion. but also, there's this weird attitude by (mostly) cis fans where it being functional within the story makes it... somehow "editable" and "up to the player" as well? which is gross and shows their ass on how they approach gender neutrality in general lol.

but also like. there's plenty of neutral, non PCharacters in undertale and deltarune. even when undertale was just an earthbound fangame and the player immersion metanarrative was completely absent, toby still described frisk as a "young, androgynous person". sometimes characters are just neutral by design. it's not that hard to understand lol.

anyone who makes this argument for kris deltarune is braindead. nothing else to say about it.

[purpurussy]

what is all of this like for post-hiatus phannies?

I've been trying to figure out how to phrase this for a minute. The most obvious comparison would be that it's like starting a TV show 10 seasons in, but that doesn't come remotely close to the amount of required reading necessary to understand even 5% of the references. This has not been a problem for me, as I love nothing more than a good all-consuming hyperfixation rabbit hole, but something I'm realizing is that you really just had to be there to fully Understand.

I got into d&p properly in December of 2023, when gamingmas appealed to my emotionally curious nature and then gave me some kind of irreversible brain damage which I'm still trying to process. Since then I've been consuming their back catalogue as though it's laced with cocaine, and obsessively lurking on phannie tumblr until I finally made this blog a few weeks ago.

-

I actually watched Dan's videos for a little while back in roughly 2013/2014, but something about his content back then just wasn't working for me like it does now (I have such a clear memory of watching Reasons Why Dan’s A Fail and thinking "aw man why does this cute little twink hate himself so much 😔" and then going back to watching Jenna Marbles lmao. Funnily enough it did make me change my negative self-talk a little bit). I was very much a brief casual viewer who went off them pretty much after watching a few videos, and after that I was sort of vaguely aware of them as the cultural icons of the 2010s that they were, but I wasn't keeping up with them at all. 

I don't even remember BIG coming out, which is insane because I've always been extremely chronically online and it definitely broke containment as a cultural moment (although I think I was trying to minimize my social media use at that point in my life, so maybe that's why it went over my head). I feel like I must have heard something about it at the time, though, because I knew they were gay when I started watching them last year. What's really strange is that a lot of this stuff is kinda timeless to me. I don't remember it happening 5, 10 or 15 years ago - I just witnessed it very recently. For a lot of you guys, BIG happened 5 years ago, but I just watched it for the first time a few months ago. At the same time, in my mind they've just always been gay, since I wasn't in the trenches of the unhinged online culture surrounding them in the early/mid 2010s. It's so confusing to balance my weird temporal perception of these events with the impressions that I get from you guys. Oftentimes I have to judge roughly when something would have happened based on their appearances - it's not actually a *memory* for me, like it is for you. I absolutely love the dynamic and branding they have now, and the deep dives into their past are more of a curious exploration of how they got here, rather than actually nostalgic (or, I suppose, mildly traumatic) for me. It’s still very interesting and compelling to me, but because I love the current iteration of Dan and Phil, not because I’m emotionally invested in who they used to be. 

Sometimes I’ll be aware that an event happened, but I won’t realize how monumental it was until I see people talking about it (I hate to say it but I genuinely don't fully understand why the BONCAs thing was so earth-shattering, but like I said, I've always lived in a post-BIG universe, and I think you just had to be there). There are also plenty of references to stuff that's just been lost to time, which I have to piece together with context clues, as well as the more unhinged demonic stuff that I just don't have any interest in exploring whatsoever (I think I might have watched the v-day video if I'd been there when it leaked and I was a stupid teenager, but at this point, I don't even feel any kind of morbid curiosity for it. I just feel really bad for them that it got leaked. Plus, unfortunately, I think I've learned all I need to know about it through internet osmosis here). I feel like a lot of these events have a real emotional meaning for you guys, when to me, they're just interesting/funny/insane anecdotes which give some context to everything. Some of the shit that you guys lived through back then is absolutely wild, and I love and appreciate all of you for meticulously archiving and documenting everything and for being so willing to answer the same questions over and over again! Otherwise I feel like I wouldn't be able to really be part of this community, and posting my silly little memes on this blog is so fucking fun. So thank you all for that.

It seems like this is one of the most ride-or-die fanbases I've ever seen. The fact that they could invent the concept of YouTubers doing world tours, successfully execute that multiple times, branch out into several other ventures, come out as gay not fully knowing how that would affect their careers, disappear for several years and then come back knowing that there would be a solid audience waiting for them even after their virality had died down, drop merch every 3 seconds - I don't know who else can really get away with that, for almost 15 years, in the extremely "live fast die young" culture of internet fame. And I think it's in no small part because you all have chronic "unconditionally supporting dan and phil" disease. (While we’re on the topic, I feel very lucky to have missed the hiatus era. There's kind of a compression in the timeline for me between the gaming channel going dark and Dan starting his WAD tour, where it's like that time just doesn't exist in the Dan and Phil cinematic universe for me. It took me a while to realize how insane it must have been when they came back in full force, I can't even imagine how that must have felt.)

Of course, there's a caveat in that I'm saying this only really knowing about the tip of the demon iceberg. I’m aware of people engaging in behaviours such as doxxing them, outing them and stalking their families, which is horrifying in and of itself, but I don’t know how long it went on for or how many people were involved. I think people are generally pretty well-behaved at this point, and most of the drama seems to be between different schools of thought within the fanbase itself. I assume a big part of the reason for that is people's varying degrees of involvement in (and remaining notion of guilt for) the boundary-crossing behaviour from the old days. Living with the spectre of this insanity is kind of strange - it makes me feel nervous sometimes that I’m gonna accidentally say something that hits a nerve, or cross a line I didn’t know existed, because there’s all this history that I don’t fully understand, beyond just the normal unwritten rules for interacting with fan spaces online. 

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The topic that got me writing this in the first place was the orange heart incident, and everyone’s subsequent meltdown. For me, the excitement in them soft/hard/semi launching is more about me just getting excited about any open, proud expression of queer joy - it heals something inside me every time I hear a man referring to his husband or a woman referring to her wife (excuse the gendered terms, ykwim. gay shit). It's just that sentiment, combined with the fact that I'm parasocially invested in them: I'd love to see that energy from my fave little guys who live inside my computer. I am basically rooting for them to become more comfortable with just talking about gay stuff more openly and candidly, and I guess that would require a bit of a hard launch, although I can understand that they don't want to potentially open the door to excessive questioning regarding their relationship. I feel like it ✨hits different✨ for people who watched them for years before they came out. Like, you guys are rooting for people who you watched in real time struggling with their identities and internalized homophobia for years and years, while to me, they’re just some guys who I’m a fan of. Sometimes I get caught up in the emotional frenzy of their hard-launch breadcrumbs even though I don’t feel quite as insane about it as you guys (I said in some tags a few days ago that it’s like the base instinct to turn around and start running if you see a crowd of people running towards you and screaming in terror, even if you have no idea what’s going on). Anyway, I would love to see them being more gooey with each other, and I am gobbling up the breadcrumbs they're feeding us atm, because I love seeing gay people expressing gay love with no shame 🧡 

I think my perception of them as a couple, or of their sexualities independently, is just kind of an extension of everything Dan said in BIG. I really have no doubt that they're a couple, and I don't feel any kind of weird Catholic guilt in saying that, since I neither witnessed nor participated in the insanity back then. I interpreted (I'm paraphrasing) "obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic, we're like, actual soulmates" followed by "as for the situation now? we're private people and we'd like to keep that part of our lives private" as him essentially saying that obviously they're a couple, but that their relationship is not part of the Dan And Phil™ Brand. The brand is 2 guys who have great chemistry doing comedy together (5 feet apart even though clearly they are gay and in love). And I think that's a completely healthy decision to make, even irrespective of their history. I think a hard launch would be subtle, and it wouldn’t realistically change the nature of their content that much. 

With that being said, to me, it seems slightly wild for people to adamantly insist they're not a couple, or that it’s “invasive” to assume that they are one (not that that really applies to anyone here, but elsewhere on the internet). If they were a straight man and a straight woman, and there wasn't a huge chunk of people on the internet struggling with this oddly conditioned aversion to seeing them as a couple, then nobody on earth would be insisting that it's weird to assume they're together. Dan confirmed that they became romantically involved around the time they met, and building a forever home with your ex is crazy, that's all there is to it.

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This is kind of a messy stream of thoughts (it ended up sort of becoming 2 essays for the price of 1) and I don't really know where I was going with it. In conclusion I think that day 1 phannies are braver than any US marine and you have all suffered more than Jesus on the cross, and I'm extremely thankful that I get to reap the rewards of your labour now without having lived through the dark ages myself. I also think some of you are holding onto a bit of unnecessary guilt for dumb shit you said on the internet when you were a kid. And Dan and Phil are gay and I love them and I reeeeaaaallllyyy want them to do a podcast so bad because this is all conjecture and I would parasocially love to hear their actual thoughts on it

[petite-elf]

APA In-Text Citations

[ID: A screenshot from scribbr.com showing an example paragraph with in-text citations. The citations are highlighted, and the text reads: "Body image issues have been widely associated with social media usage in young women (Perloff, 2014). The relation between media depictions and body image concerns is well-established; a meta-analysis by Grabe et al. (2008) concluded that exposure to mass media is linked to body image dissatisfaction among women. Several empirical studies have focused on Facebook usage in adolescent girls (Meier & Gray, 2014; Tiggermann & Slater, 2013), while a systematic review by Holland and Timmerman (2016) established a relationship between social networking and body image for both women and men." End ID]

2. Chicago Style Footnotes

[ID: A screenshot from scribbr.com showing an example of Chicago Style Footnotes. The numbers are superscript numbers and correspond to footnotes.

The main text reads: This is an example of a full note,1 and this is an example of a short note.2 The footnotes read:

Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 3rd ed. (New York: Free Press, 1989), 75-89.

Covey, 7 Habits, 75-7

End ID]

[cairsns]

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED is Remus/Sirius (and James) to Peter after he betrayed them

[hottdoggblogg]

[pothospant]

protective pfe is just really cute...

[discluded]

I'm so confident that if we're being ourselves without violating others, when we look back, even if we don't succeed in the entertainment industry, I still wouldn't regret a thing.

I’ve never regretted being myself." —Mile Phakphum

[joelletwo]

INCREDIBLY HOT PANEL INCREDIBLY NEEDLESSLY HOT THING TO SAY

[midnight-tumult]

[desertpups]

(Andrew)

[poisonr00t]

posts by mcr blogs circulate tumblr like blood in the veins or something

[lover-of-mine]

Seven Sentence Sunday!

I was tagged by @prince-buck-diaz @panbuckley @cowboy-buck @alyxmastershipper @housewifebuck and @bucks118 thank you 🩷🩷🩷

I didn't make any of the other tags this week except for the poll thingy because I don't write linearly so most of my wip are a mess ™️ but my stablished buddie with Buck in Eddie's turnout won the poll and that's actually kinda structured now thanks to that and I plan on having this out this week (pray for me) so here are seven sentences (you can read another snippet of it here)

Eddie already has a hose, helping some guys from another station when he finally finds Buck again. He's following Hen, helping triage the less serious cases on the other side of the parking lot, and he doesn't watch for too long, it's barely longer than a glance, but he does a double take once the image fully registers. Because Buck is still wearing his turnout jacket. Properly now. And he doesn't really know what to do with what he's feeling when he sees the DIAZ across his back. Buck sometimes teases Eddie about being possessive, on the rare occasions he gets jealous enough that even Buck notices, but this is not that. The feeling in his chest is warner, not about the idea that everyone is trying to steal him away, or the thought that Buck would somehow leave him (an idea he rationally knows is insane, he knows how much Buck loves him, it's how much Eddie loves him, it's just that sometimes he gets irrationally jealous, he's not sure he could be blamed, just look Buck, who wouldn't be scared to lose him?), but about how much he likes the idea of sharing a last name.

I don't know who to tag cause I don't know who posted already because my dash has been crashing since last night so I'm not gonna tag anyone.

[mamawasatesttube]

man. i wanna go back to bed.

[compacflt]

no like i respect the fact that he’s so dedicated to his own unhappiness that he becomes the worlds most unreliable narrator, however, if per se i had him hooked up to a polygraph machine on an electric chair and asked him to recount every detail from venice he could possibly remember…….what do you think he’d say

Diary of RDML Tom Kazansky 1 February 2002:

VENICE, ITA: 0900: Scheduled phone call with Dept. of Commerce Defense Security Cooperation Agency (DSCA) Deputy Director later today to discuss Foreign Military Sales program financing for the possible U.S.-Swiss F/A-18C sale.

0945: Spoke to Swiss US Export-Import Bank representative over the phone. All systems go.

1030: Reviewed Boeing-McDonnell F/A-18C fact sheet & identified points of Swiss Air Force strategic interest to push at tomorrow’s trilateral summit. Of particular note: high maneuverability at speed & long F-18 history of maintenance intercapabilities, suggesting future SWZ-US A/D industry partnership.

1215: Lunch with ITA Navy Adm. Lambretti & SWZ Asst. Deputy Minister of Defense Leipheimer. Discussed: coalition movements in Afghanistan, ongoing 9/11 relief & recovery efforts and ways allies can continue to help, SWZ tax credit for American investment.

1430: Spoke to US DOD Undersecretary for Policy (Acquisition) re: recent clarification of DOD acquisition policy. Received invitation to attend next year’s IARPA conference. Will consult with OJCS J4 leadership.

1500: Spoke with USN CDR Ron Kerner. Wished me a happy birthday.

1600: Preparatory staff meeting ahead of tomorrow’s summit.

1630: Spoke with Dept. of Commerce DSCA Deputy Director re: FMS financing. Inconclusive.

1900: Dinner with USN CDR Pete Mitchell who arrived in town today to speak at Thursday’s moderated discussion of the F/A-18C platform. He is staying till Saturday. Discussed future of Navy Fighter Weapons School & details of his presentation to be given Thurs. Stressed his adversary F-16 angle & asked him to consider putting together a future talk about F-18 evasive tactics and the concept of a joint multilateral US aerial combat training program (like NFWS) to bolster our allies’ expertise on US platforms. He did not like this idea. Scheduled follow-up dinners tomorrow (Wed 2 Feb) and Thurs (3 Feb) to continue our discussion. Will have lunch with him tomorrow as well. Due to an unfortunate scheduling error tonight’s dinner will be billed as dinner with SWZ Asst. Deputy Minister of Defense Leipheimer. DOD will likely compensate anyway.

(End)

[scholarhect]

frustrated because i want to get educated on feminist theory but idk where to start, especially since there’s so much flawed feminism out there (god, you’re saying i have to read it all and form my own opinion? but that’s so much work! just tell me what One feminist work i should read to know everything) but it’s so important because i’m becoming increasingly convinced that our deemphasis on theory is killing feminism.

we’re losing her. we’re doing vibes-based feminism we’re doing “whatever personal opinions i bring to the table without thinking about them are my political views” feminism we’re doing “it’s easy! if you don’t hate women and want them to die you’re a feminist!” feminism we’re doing VANITY feminism we’re doing “common sense” feminism (just a rephrase of “whatever personal opinions…” feminism) and we’re shocked that we’re losing. a political movement & ideology* that has NO thought behind it, JUST vibes. no pillars, no standards. what even is a feminist? when do you ever hear that articulated? unless, again, you’re hearing “a feminist is somebody who believes women are people :)” that’s exactly the problem i’m talking about.

this is why we’re losing ground to “criticizing beauty standards is antifeminist because it feels good to be pretty” feminism we’re losing ground to “you know what group has had it too good for too long? the transgender woman” feminism we’re losing ground to “feminism is for women AND men and the more we include men the more feminist it is” feminism.

frankly the way the transphobic feminism gains followers is it’s the only fucking side that actually gives somebody ARGUMENTS to latch on to. people are alienated by toothless no thoughts feminism and they’re going to people who are offering them some thoughts, and a bad argument beats the shit out of no argument at all. it’s like if you showed up to court with no lawyer? and you were like “everybody knows i’m right, morally. it’s common sense. the strength of that will protect me :)” you are going to prison. we could be doing transfeminist theory we could be explaining the role of gender in society and how it’s constructed and how women both cis & trans are constructed as women but instead we’re saying “i don’t hate trans women because i’m normal :)” that’s nothing!!! am i making myself clear do you see what i’m talking about!

and then the other two things i complained about, the “feminism is anything that makes me feel good, as a woman” and “feminism is for men, actually” are just because when we have zero standards for feminism it can mean anything at all. we could be talking about these things but we aren’t.

i don’t know how to fix this (i could learn more, but what then? well i guess id post about it for my followers. good enough, i guess. so it’s just that i don’t know how to learn more) but i am getting so frustrated with the way things are now. i know there’s people out there doing real things in the feminist space but i don’t know where to look… lot of trans women on my twitter tl talking about feminism (and yes that’s something, but i am hungry for more than twitter threads <3) and they’re fighting an uphill battle over there. like. god

* i feel like it’d be the good feminist thing to do to come down hard with “feminism is a MOVEMENT” but we do kind of need internal ideology before we can have external movement, probably. seems like people who already have feminist ideas are more likely to engage in feminist actions when the time comes. but idk i’m no political movements expert. this post is just me giving you my two cents on a specific concept