#thats why i make blanks so people can make their owns if they want

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

people gotta stop saying sunlow is good or well written. sure, it was thought out prior to the poison jungle, and yeah, its healthy (..i think? idk its jus.. there). i like healthy relationships. theyre awesome.

just er. you, you guys realize that willow has like.. no personality, right? shes literally so bland. we, we know NOTHING about her besides ooo she killed hawthorn and ooo she has a pet. shes a blank slate who only serves as a way to introduce us to the sapwings.

she doesnt really add anything to sundew, besides like.. i dont know, making her .. kind? she atleast has someone to be herself around.. but dude jus. im not invested in willow. i literally had to quit tpj because its SO boring. willow has no traits at all and shes only around to be "sundews girlfriend". like, yeah! i love queer rep. im a gay guy myself. but its just.. so boring dude. im not asking for abusive or unhealthy relationships, i just want the characters to be seperate people aside from the relationship.

like.. fuck, you really had to make up this new character that adds practically nothing? and really, shes only used to move the story along. like, what else does she do??? sure, she kills a bad guy. moves the story along, just like i said. she doesnt add anything to the characters around here, and her only trait is that shes sundews girlfriend.

again! im happy this series has queer rep and it allows children to explore queer relationships, but acting like sunlow is the best thing to come out of arc 3 is jus.. wrong to me.

see, i think they shouldve made hazel be sundews partner. DO YOU GET MY VISION???? SHES LITERALLY THE PERFECT DRAGON FOR HER!!!!!!!! and before you say cobra lily, just gonna say it while im here, she is NOT awesome!!! sure, sundew gets along with her, but YOURE SAYING SHE NEARLY KILLED SOMEONE OVER.. INSULTING HER FAMILY???? jfc dude! and, in one scene of tdg, she talks about sundew being queen, even when sundew explicitly says she prefers hazel and that she doesnt want that role. sorry, but hazel x sundew is a perfect option to me.

1, hazel is literally a relative of sequoia. DO YOU KNOW HOW INTERESTING IT WOULDVE BEEN, TO REALIZE THAT SUNDEW, BELLADONNAS DAUGHTER, IS DATING A RELATIVE OF THE SAPWING QUEEN????? THATS SO FUCKING COOL!!! IT RAMPS UP THE DRAMA!!! IT ACTUALLY ADDS SOMETHING TO THE RELATIONSHIP, UNLIKE THE BLAND FASTEST BURN POSSIBLE THAT SUNLOW HAD!!!!! PLUS we'd STILL get the sapwing introduction.

2, hazel has personality. shes her own character, she has traits, and she is able to get along with sundew. its not hard to make a character with an actual personality! i can list off things off the top of my head about hazel! she loves reading to the point she strains her eyes, shes carefree, she loves to bind books together! willow is jus.. happy and sundews girlfriend. thats all she is. sure, maybe add courageous to the mix? but again shes just.. not interesting. she doesnt have any passion. shes just there.

lmao. this turned out waaayyyy longer than i expected. yeah idk i think ill get flamed for this? i know a lot of people say this for the most basic opinions but sunlow is REALLYYYY loved and err. thats exactly why im goin on anon. have a good day.

.

[mvltisstuff]

What about a fic where reader is a rookie cop and Athena is her training officer. She’s also dating Eddie. She gets shot in the vest so the 118 comes and takes her to the hospital so they can do X-rays to make sure she doesn’t have any broken ribs and then Eddie takes her home and makes her relax and helps her ice her massive bruise.

love. - e.d

summary: request

eddie diaz x reader

a/n: i love this idea!!

eddie sees athena walk into the firehouse, her hand on her waist and the other on the back of her neck. her face had a blank expression, and eddie has seen this look before. you know, when you’re about to tell someone shitty news. or that their life is about to be flipped upside down. the sergeant’s contained a look of pity mixed in with her own sadness as well.

flashes of y/n’s name and face, as well as the sounds of her voice came rushing over eddie. she’s new to the job, but she’s really good. having athena training her and giving her important tips was one of the best advantages you could have in the police system.

along with the courage of the job came the dangers. guns and fights and tasers. you never know what someone has hiding in their belt and where they might be headed. y/n makes the world a better place, and eddie feels nothing but proud when she shows up in her uniform.

the thought of her not coming home to him scared the living daylights out of him. he’s lost too many people, and he would lose himself if he wasn’t able to save her.

“diaz,” athena tries to start.

“where is she?” eddie spits out.

“the hospital. she got shot, but she had on the vest,” eddie sighs and rubs his face in partial relief, but also knowing that this is not best case scenario. “they’re taking her for x-rays. but she’s in good spirits.”

“she’s always in good spirits, thats why i love her,” says eddie. “god, grant, when you walked in here i thought she was going to be dead or close to it.”

“honey, i wouldn’t be able to be here if she was. she saved everyone’s life out there today. who knows what that gunman could’ve pulled.”

eddie blinks away his light tears. eddie almost refuses to let anyone see him cry, but she is his weak spot. anything that hurts her, it hurts him, too. thinking about a life without her was intolerable.

“i need to see her but,” eddie says, beginning to walk away in the middle of his shift.

“i spoke to bobby, he’s letting you out early,” athena informs. eddie thanks her, and sprints out to his car, ignoring the comments from his coworkers.

the gas pedal in his truck was almost completely weighted down. his eyes darted to each exit, taking the closest one to the hospital that had his one true love inside.

as soon as he hit the doors of the hospital, it’s almost like he forgot elevators existed. he jogged through the halls, finding y/n’s room. he knew she would be ok, but he wasn’t ok until he saw her for himself.

the second he saw her, his tensed up body had begun to calm down. her face didn’t have a pained expression or anything. she looked so alive and safe and eddie just wanted to take her into his arms.

he skipped into the room, and her face lit up when seeing him. “hey, mrs bulletproof,” eddie says, walking over with his hands in his pockets. he’s pretending like his heart wasn’t about to fall out of his ass.

“hey,” y/n says softly.

“how are you feeling?”

“i’m good, no broken ribs or anything. just this gnarly bruise,” y/n lifts up her shirt to reveal the purple and red skin of her fresh bruise. eddie hisses when looking at it before sitting next to her. he might be putting on an act, a fearless one. y/n is able to see right through it. “eddie.”

he looks up at her, meeting his eyes with hers. his eyes were starting to water because he is so used to the worst case.

“oh, eddie. come here,” she says, pulling him into a warm embrace to give him some comfort. eddie has built up a ton of walls. hiding himself from his own emotions and definitely concealing them from everyone around him. the world around him sees him as just a strong, tough guy. y/n was the first person to realize that he is more than that. everything he feels is validated by her, and he’s so much more fragile than what everyone sees. “it knocked the wind out of me, that’s all.”

“but what if the vest was off? he could’ve gotten you at any time,” all of the ‘ what if’s’ are speeding through eddie’s brain.

“you think i haven’t thought about that? every single day i get out there and know i saved someone’s life. you do the same exact thing. and i worry about you so much… god, it feels like my chest will explode. the second i heard that gunshot i thought about you. but all i had at that moment was the fact that i saved someone’s life today.”

“because you’re a hero,” eddie says.

“no, because we are heroes. that’s what gets me through every day when i worry about you and i. you saved me when i needed saving and i will forever do the same for you.”

eddie sighs, and his body relaxes along with his features. he puts out his hand for y/n to hold onto. “¿para siempre?”

y/n smiles once again and nods, grabbing his hand and leaving a kiss on it. “para siempre.”

y/n was on the couch in eddie’s home, sitting next to christopher. eddie had brought in some popcorn for everyone and placed the bowl on the table in front of them. christopher had dug in immediately, and eddie pulled up the hem of y/n’s shirt. “i couldn’t find any ice packs, somehow.”

he places a frozen bag of peas and carrots onto her injured ribcage as she winced at the pressure. he quickly apologized and leaves it down on the bruise that was changing color every day.

eddie had not left her side, icing her bruise and doing everything for her. he constantly protested whenever she would try to get up and move herself. she may as well have been put on bed rest due to his actions. she tried to argue back, but ultimately failed in the end. she would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it at least a little bit. she’s a very independent person, which eddie admires about her character, but they both secretly love it when they get to care for each other. he stayed with her through the night, clearing out the bad dreams and thoughts in her head. being a rookie, she was still shaken up by the thought of what happened. eddie was there to ease her mind and bring her back down to earth.

after carrying christopher’s sleeping self to his bed and tucking him in, eddie helped y/n stand up and walk over to their bedroom. he climbs into the bed next to her, laying on his side and brushing her hair behind her ears.

“i’m so lucky i found you, and i’m even luckier that you’re here with me.”

she sleepily grins with her eyes shut before whispering out the three little words that mean so much.

[taitavva]

yaldabaoth couldn't help but make his whole team overpowered huh ... how are the phantom thieves supposed to survive ?? "oh noo akechi ur so hot haha .. please don't kill me" brilliant strategy pego (entire ask under cut)

[ACTUALLY UR PUTFITS WERE SO ON POINT. I HAVE 2 OUTFIT IDEAS 4 HIFUMI & SHIHO (MINUS MASKS) & 1 mask idea for yuuki but idk what else. i was thinking for the leaders it would def be chaotic but goro has most metaverse experience so hes the leader. ken kinda acts like mona in giving useful tips abt personas etc and hifumi takes on the role of makoto where she gives out different strategies (her, ken, & goro debate over these tips & strategies but usually end up doing them anyway). I have an urge to show u these outfits omg. i can ramble abt these outfits & their personas for forever .. i chose jormungandr for yuuki, skadi for shiho hela for hifumi, and persephone for eiko. ik its not very in the literacy scene for them to all have deities as personas but... goro breaks it with loki anyway, so ..

explainations:: hela & jormungandr are 2/6 of loki's kids in norse mythology, aiding him in the ragnarok/end of the world, and hela is sentenced down to the underworld to be the goddess of that realm since she was born half alive half dead, and she's sentenced to it by odin (basically. kinda the zeus of norse mythology, like the "king" of all of them) because she's the daughter of loki & all this other stuff .. chose her for hifumi because hifumi's mom basically forces her to be a shoji star after hifumi's dad and yeah. jormungandr i chose because hes kinda just a sleepy little guy: in norse mythology he's known as "the World Serpent" and he wraps around the entire ocean with his tail in his mouth kind of in a constant sleep until the ragnarok (all of loki's kids --aside from 2, one being dead & the other being a gift to odin-- including loki himself, are kinda trapped somewhere before the ragnarok happens) and he's not talked about a lot but he aids in so much and he's important (like how yuuki is kind of ignored by the pts, the dialogue options being horrid, despite him aiding in them. also yuuki is the bm's navi in the au & he runs a "revenge site" like how Strega/takaya sakaki, jin shirato, & chidori yoshino do in p3-- strega also does death calling cards , mainly shown in the novels which is p cool.. first ppl to use mental shutdowns despite not beinf called that then either. i love strega sorry. they all agreed to it because shiho wanted to deal with more people like kamoshida, goro wanted to deal with more people like shido, hifumi wanted to deal w more people like her mom, etc).. i chose persephone for eiko because in greek mythology, persephone is (most commonly accepted form of the myth) kidnapped by hades and forced into marriage with him by eating a pomegranate out of the underworld .. point blank, persephone reminds me of eiko being trapped and persephone's shown to overcome it , ( honestly eventually making the underworld & hades her Bitch. she kills the goddess/nymph of mints and creates the mint plant because she got too handsy with hades).. also hifumi and eiko are a little gay for eachother so why not have their personas be, too? anyway. SHIHO!! i chose skadi for her because skadi , in norse mythology , is both jotunn (giant) and a god like how loki is, but she's an accepted form of it because she was given over to the gods as a peace treaty, and thats pretty important to norse mythology i'd say (like how rooftop scene is important to kamoshida arc), and skadi claws up the aesir (council of gods) thru both her marriage (ann? ann. hehe.) and her own sheer will (shiho's recovery and goro's ..... questionable aid.) and skadi just fits. the goddess of mountains and winter? sign me the FUCK UP.

Anyway . this was long I apologise]

[neopuppy]

i fully agree about people obsessing over personal tidbits like mark’s faith or chenle’s love for basketball, people get so weird with it and act like that’s all that idol is. i am SICK of the whole mark and watermelons thing. like let it go i beg… but kpop fans are incapable of that lmfao (sidenote but that’s why i prefer your fics/can’t read half the fics on here bc so many fic writers turn these idols into caricatures of themselves and it gets so boring to read fics about idols that apparently don’t have a personality outside of the things we publicly know about them. johnny can like more than just coffee, same with jaemin and photography. i’m glad you kind of reinvent them with each fic.)

also idk if it’s as much intentional as much as it’s a welcome side effect (on the company’s side) but idols like jeno who don’t offer up much of themselves, parasocially or not, also kind of act like a blank slate that the delulu fans can project anything onto. want jeno to be your lame gamer bf? he can be that. your submissive puppy? sure. your rough daddy? anything you want. i’m sure that plays into the kind of weird people each idol attracts.

i’m sure it’s true for all of kpop but i think it’s the most obvious when you look at nct specifically bc there are so many members and each of their solo fanbases are so wildly different from one another. like we’re all nctzens but a johnny stan is going to have a different fan experience than a kun stan lmfao

i feel like mark or doyoung have the fanbases they have because they’re quite willing to engage with the parasocialism, whereas jaehyun is the opposite, he’s a pretty face people project their own fantasies onto. both kind of just encourage the weird ass behaviour tho, bc like you said it’s the companies who benefit the most from it

idk not to shittalk parasocial kpop fans too much bc after all i am one too at times lmfao, personally jaemin draws me in the most when it comes to that stuff. i’ve mellowed out over the years but every few months i’ll have an intense kpop phase and it usually leads me back to jaemin or johnny

‘sidenote but that’s why i prefer your fics/can’t read half the fics on here bc so many fic writers turn these idols into caricatures of themselves and it gets so boring to read fics about idols that apparently don’t have a personality outside of the things we publicly know about them.’

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg u get it, u get it!!!!!! seeeeee I say this enough but armys are fr the best fanfic writers I have everrrrrrr come across. I love how they build worlds and personalities and characters for the members. It gets so boring reading fics like what you said, that really go hard about mentioning those things(JAEMIN WITH PHOTOGRAPHY AND JOHNNY WITH COFFEE PLS CNSNXNSN). why was I on ao3 a little bit ago in desperate search for something nasty to read for Johnny……we are in hell like idk why people do not write for 127 fnsncjcjnc if anything its all fucking yuta/mark fic😖🔫🔫 mark/haechan too but we all know thats rabid nct dream shippers writing who forget mahae are 127 members.

Jaehyung pretty face who ppl project a personality on!!!!

no bc…….if u guys ever talk to Jaehyun stans………………. omg, the judgement on my face, im sure. the shit they say abt that guy😭😭😭 im like girl do we watch the same content.. im at a loss

I hate when my friends ask me why I like my biases bc im like???????? bc he’s pretty and I like pretty boys?????? and I dont feel the need to convince myself that he has an amazing personality or way of living thats going to make me fall in love with him???🤣

at the end of the day these are men… since when the fuck did we decide men can ever prove to be more than good looks and maybe good at killing bugs/building and moving shit for us omg. anyway.

same same, your message was so refreshing like u fully understood me here without making me explain😭

LIKE IM ALL FOR DELUSIONS OBVS I LOVE A GOOD FANFIC(I love some good story telling with smut, sue me), BUT I CANTTTTTT WITH THE DEEP PARASOCIALS OF IT ALL.

like no that man is not going to pick you bc you love the same food as him, or you stay up all night like him, or bc you work out everyday like a beast just like him. HE’S PROBABLY GOING TO CHOOSE THE PRETTIEST AND HOTTEST GIRL HE SEES IN A ROOM BC HE’S A MAN, period.

[fanartlover1234]

DESERVE

Y/n pushes Fred away, but he doesnt give up

FRED WEASLEY X READER

It started in 3rd year, Y/n has heard of the weasley twins anticd towards everyone, mostly Slytherins, but she never thought she would be a target, she was quiet and kept to herself, that was untill her hair was turned bright red and it took a few months to get rid of it.

In forth year, Y/n became friends with Ginny, her rivaly with Fred already noticed by many around them, constant bickering and pranks and again bickering.

In fifth year, the playful flirt began over and over, inbetween fights and a rumor that they were couple, ended soon.

In sixth year, people asumed they were flirting and they grew closer due to the constant annoying remarks.

"We are supposedly flirting" he said to her as she read a book in the courtyard.

"How are we flirting?" She asked lookinh at him.

"Appearently the way how we fight and bicker to others seem like flirting" he explained to her.

"Thats stupid"

In seventh year somethinh changed on holiday.

Y/n was in the kitchen, cutting some fruit for herself as a midnight snack.

She had been avoiding Fred over holidays, he has tried to make moves on her, she liked him back of course yet a part of her knew she didnt deserve him or his family.

She cut her finger, hissinh in pain as she began looking for a bandaid before Freds voice scared her.

"You good" he asked steping in the kitchen, viewing her from head to toe, his eyes landing on her finger.

He leaned over her grabing the first aid kit and placed it on the counter.

"I can do it" she said looking up at him.

"I'll help you" he sisd to her offering her his hand so she can place hers in his hand, her eyes falling his hand before she tried to reach for the aid kit, her hurt hand going behind her back.

He rolled his eyes placing one hand over the opening of the first aid kit, the other hand gently taking her hurt hand in his before treating it.

He was gentle as Y/n looked at their hands while he wrapped her finger in a bandaid.

She quietly thanked him steping around him returning to her fruits, washing them again.

"Why do you keep pushing me away" he asked her , she could feel his gaze on her.

He steped closer to her.

Her breath hitched when she saw his hands on either side of her body, palms landing on the counter next to the sink.

"Hmm?" He hummed in question.

"I dont know what you are talking about" she said washing the fruits over again untill, Fred grabed the fruit bowl from her.

His hands went closer to her as she leaned on the counter, her breath heavy.

"We both like eachother, why do you push me away, green?" She flinched at the nickname he had given her years ago.

'Green' her mind went blank, his name, his voice the only thing playing in her mind.

"Excuse me" she said trying to push him away, turning to the door.

He pushed closer to her, his forhead leaninh on her head, his lips against her ear.

"Please. Please dont leave me" he said to her, he flinched when he felt the clear drop of her tears on his hand.

She took a trembling breath before turning to look at him.

"I" she sobbed out, he wanted to comfort her but she calmed down before looking at him "we cant be together"

"Why not?" He asked grabing her shoulders leaning down to see her face.

Y/n looked away, closing her eyes.

"Look around Fred" she said walking away from him "this place, freshly cooked meal everyday, convos at the table and small pranks around the house, laughter on every corner, i dont" she stoped herself to turn around looking for words while Fred looked at her "and your mom, she she treats me like her own, your dad cracks his stupid dad jokes with me, i dont deserve that"

"Y/n-"

"I come from a rich family of proms and ball gowns and silance at the table, i come from a house where if you are not a perfect you dont exist and im not perfect okey, im spoiled, i curse and fight with people, my life is planed before i was born" she said before walking to him her hand landing on his cheek "I, this when i come here or when im with you is the only time i feel like home, like im not just living, like im alive and free and, and i cant ruin that okey, i dont deserve this or you" she spoke before pulling closer giving him a soft kiss, when she pulled back a tear rolled down his cheek.

He closed his eyes when she wiped away the tear with her thumb, leaving him.

Over the nexf month of school, the lack of pranks or fighta were noticsd by everyone.

The younger twin trying to cheer up the older one as he played with his food, his usual smile gone now.

The girl barely left her room, coming out for classes only to keep her grades up, her friends braught her food up to the room.

Y/n was pulled out by her friends for a seminar by profesors she layed her chin on her hands that were crossed on the table, her gaze empty as she looked at the bubbled floating up in her drink.

No different was Fred, they sat back to back, they lack fo energy noticed even by teachers.

"They are fools" professor Mcgonagal spoke as she looked at Fred and Y/n catching the attention of professor Snape.

"Whatever do you mean by that"

"They allow their houses to define their realationship" the woman spoke before she took a sip of her drink.

"It for the best, Slytherins and Gryfindors dont date"

"Says who?" She asked " Sometimes, the ones you least expect too, make the biggest difference" the woman stated as she looked at the pair.

The pary of the year, no teacher could stop it.

Even Fred and Y/n didnt want to go, they were dragged there by force.

Its been a couple hours, Y/n was drunk, making out with a random Ravenclaw when she felt a shift in the air.

The smell of firewood and chocolate and buttterbeer filled her nose, the hands around her body seemed different.

She let go and pulled back, her eyea meeting his as the red hair fell over his eyes.

She blinked a few times and sure enough, he was gone and before her stood the Ravenclaw boy who couldnt give her what she wanted.

She said sorry and left, the noice around her seemed to fade away as she sat on the steps, playing with the hem of her dress.

Her attentoon went to Fred when he sat down across her, his eyes looked over her and even in the past weeks of tension the silance between them seemed comforting.

"Why are you not out there" she suddenly asked looking at the people who swayed their hips and played drinking games "shouldn't you be charming up some girl"

"Dont say that, Y/n" he said his voice a mix of pain and anger that he felt for her when those last words left her lips 'some girl'.

"Fred"

"I dont need some girl, Y/n and quite honestly, i dont want some girl" he said " and i only want one girl, with her brown hair and fierce eyes and her sarcastic nature" he said moving closer to her.

She got up shaking her head "Fred, don't" she said steping up the steps and walking down the hall, she was done with this party.

"I love you, Y/n" he said following her, stopping when she stoped "you know that, and i know you love me"

"Fred, i don't"

"You dont deserve that" he said "and thats the problem" he steped closer" you think you dont deserve something" another step, her back was facing the wall, him just a few steps away from her " so you ruin it, you push people away"

"Fred" he steped closer to her.

"Im not leaving you" he said

"Why not! Why cant y-"

"Because i am willing to fight for us, because i know people leave when it gets hard with you and im not going to one of them, im not leaving you green" he said " you like it or not, talk to me or dont, but im here and im not going away " he said his forhead pressed against hers as he held her face gently while her hands wraped around his wrists.

A shared moment of silance, a moment where he made it clear, he loves her.

A moment where Y/n was thinkinb maybe, just maybe one day she will deserve his love.

[lesbicosmos]

rewatching s1 of broadchurch even tho im halfway through my first watch of s3 because i have an obsession with rewatching things and DAMN there are way more hints at who ended up being the killer than i originally thought, and a bunch of moments that are really ironic in hindsight

spoilers under the cut (yes it came out like 10 years ago but im still putting a spoiler warning)

ep1 - joe and ellie talk in the kitchen after hardy makes the statement to the media

joe: do you know what happened? i mean should we be worried for other kids?

on first watch, his tone of voice and body language here just seem like confused and worried parent, but on second, there's definitely a hint of panic in his voice

ep2 - joe, tom and fred in the cafe

joe: this is a terrible, unspeakable thing thats happened. but nothing like it will ever happen again here

tom: you cant know that though can you? you cant be sure

then after this joe's facial expression looks SO guilty like he can't think how to respond

ep3 - hardy questioning tom with joe in the room

hardy: can you think of anyone who would want to hurt danny?

THEN THE CAMERA IMMEDIATELY CUTS TO JOE. ik near the end joe swears he never wanted to hurt him but this is still a rly clever piece of editing, i love when shows do this. also the fact that in every scene where he's questioning tom, joe's in the room and occasionally talks but he's never in the frame of the camera hardys using to record it. he was literally right under their noses the entire time and they never suspected because they were focused on other people too much

ep4 hardy goes to the millers" for dinner

this scene hits so much different on second viewing holy shit. at one point they're talking about marriage and work and how hardy's divorce was partially work-related and:

hardy: this job, it does it to you

ellie: well, not to us

ellie actually makes me sob she loves her life so much then it all just comes crashing down on her

joe: do you think you're gonna solve this case?

hardy: certain.

joe: good :)

joe's reply itself here makes sense but there's a few seconds before he says it where his face is just blank and mildly panicked. he's genuinely worrying about being caught at this point.

now this one isn't a direct hint or anything but just if you think about the dialogue in a different context...yeah it fits

hardy: you bloody liar

joe: ive said nothing

hardy: and yet-

joe said nothing to the police or ellie and yet was lying the WHOLE time.

ep5 - brian asks ellie out

ellie: sorry, im married

brian: and thats an issue is it?

ellie: happily married, brian

brian: oh. okay, fair enough. only lots of people aren't though, are they?

ellie: i am.

THE IRONY OH ELLIE LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG PLEASE

ep6 - jack's wake

ellie spends the whole scene looking around to see if anyone looks worried, at one point she looks into a room (seemingly at nige but joe is stood nearby having a different conversation) and she makes eye contact with joe RIGHT as the camera cuts away

ep 6 - joe takes tom to the skate park and ellie arrives

ellie: i was just looking round that bar at the wake thinking "its someone here, why cant i see it?" the longer this goes on, im starting to suspect everyone

joe: when you say everyone...

ellie: well, nearly everyone

this is probably the most obvious hint that i can't believe i didn't catch on to. of COURSE they're gonna make a point for the killer to be the ONE person ellie LITERALLY SAYS she isn't suspicious of.

ep7 - ellie lets susan leave the police station

ellie (about susan's past with her husband and daughters): in your own house, how could you not know?

just ow. the irony of it all. fucking ow.

[your-ne1ghbor]

Magnifico's "Wish Stealing form" design/some Character Dump (Disney Wish)

Oh boy ya'll in a BIG BIG Story beat plus some more information on Amaya and Magnifico in my rewrite:

The Kingdom of Roses and Thorns

Oh yeah...this is another long post and Ik @oh-shtars @chillwildwave @signed-sapphire @annymation @uva124 @rascalentertainments is gonna love this idea

For starters...

I Had this nightmare of Magnifico because of this form and now you all will see it too :3

There were also other posts that inspired this design too, so I'll link them here:

Anyways, this post is mainly an MAJIOR STORY IDEA DUMP for my sweet sweet emo Maggy- erm Magnifico (he is glaring at me guys send help please)

Soooo....

I had this terrifying idea for TKoRaT Maggy, even before I had this nightmare of him, where he legit becomes somewhat something like this, but with more vine core when he is taking the wishes/"monster in my closet" wrong vibes.

More like this for the idea I'm going for:

This is one of the ideas I had for Maggy when he is taking the wishes. This is might not be final in my final version of Maggy, hell, I might change that particular design to be Amaya's form when she takes the wishes too, since hers is more smoke which is more or not on par with her character in my rewrite/redesign. It might end up being more of Maggy's thing with Amaya helping him get into this state of transformation to take the wishes since I'd imagine it more of a whole process, but it could also just be something they both do together.

Some more design details I added was his scars from when his kingdom was attacked and almost everyone died because he showed mercy to the attackers. He doesn't really have them in his main design, probably because he covers them up with Amaya's potions or the wishes could have some form healing abilities? Idk I'm still firguring out the magic system of my story or that I just keep forgetting to put those scars in his design so awesome???💀

In my post here, I said that they don't hold ceremonies that has them granting/taking the wishes like they did in the movie. This is mainly because I wanted to do a little something original and gives me the oppertunity to take in the horror aspects of the story (because I love scaring children(not in a bad way, but to show them that there are these kinds of people in the world yk?)). This is why I am intentionally making Maggy and Amaya horrifying in their own way because well...good people can become the bad guys if pushed in the right direction. Especially in what they do to other people. Mainly inspired from Hunchback and Prince of Egypt, with subtle, but TERRIFYING pieces.

BUT, They do have a ceremony, but it is not related to the wishes, it is just there to give them some sympathetic traits to Maggy and Amaya (after all they've been through, I just feel bad, they literally wanted to good things and the world just beat them with a 90 foot pole).

This one I tried making Maggy more jagged. Although it seems like he is a different character here, thats mainly my fault since I really tried to figure out what he would say to Star Boy in this "idea" scene but my brain blanked out and couldn't think of anything so wahoo

Star Boy in this scene doesn't even know he has a desire, he just didn't think stars can form desires (ofc Maggy and Amaya is going to manipulate the hell out of him and Asha :3)

ALSO

This is also the main reason I split Star Boy's powers between what Amaya and Maggy does.

Maggy has only 1 shape-shifting form, and it is only done to steal the wishes. He can't shape shift into anything else, but it is why when he steals star's powers, he becomes more of a terrifying shapeshifter.

Amaya creates dangerous potions, and more or not lurks in the darkness in some way like a cat to bring them to their doom. Although it would make more sense if Maggy has the creation part of Star's powers, I gave it to Amaya since it works for her too, and keeps the power system balanced in some way. If I do give Amaya the ability to also shapeshift into a monster from my dreams, I could also say the same thing can work in reverse too, I just personally think the creation part of her character conflicts with Asha's ability to create/draw magic.

Power wise for this design...

This form also gives Maggy the ability to see people's desires that HE could take. He can't really take them until they are 17-18 years old and older (ruh oh, 2 of our main protagonists fall under that age gap). Plus, he cant take them from children since they are young and dont understand these kinds of things.

This form also falls under the MAIN conflict of why the hell is everyone miserable when they turn around 17/18 years old? Oh yeahhh this is going to fall under how he steals the wishes, but I'm not going to say anything here yet because I really want it to be a surprise.

Nothing that he does is not without reason. He blames the stars for not granting his wish (there is a reason why they didn't), and for not stepping in when a star, or Aster (NOT STAR BOY) went "rouge" (not Aster's fault btw, they didn't have a choice). So, this presented him with this ideology (that I personally believe Amaya first started thinking this way, out of pain and wanting to blame someone for what happened a century ago) that in order for people to not wish on stars, is for them to never wish/dream again. The story in my version is the aftermath of this. Still figuring out THE MAJIOR STORY BEATS, but this falls under Star Boy as well.

Star Boy represents the thing Magnifico hates the most. Plus, Maggy has more of a personal beef with the stars so of course he is going to make sure Star Boy dies, becauseeee he didn't do it last time, so second times the charm, am I right? (OR MAYBE THE THIRD WHO KNOWS, LETTING THE STORY WORK ITSELF OUT ;3)

ORIGINALLY, this was going to be Amaya's thing, but as I said, this might end up being mainly Maggy's thing, or it is something they both do, since they share the same goal, but here is the designs I was going to show for that:

Anywaysssss, ya'll can ask me questions regarding to this design if ya'll want to! I'll gladly answer them! I also will accept suggestions for the design/abilities for this "wish stealing..." thing. I might come up with a better name for this form later. Soo have a happy weekend as your neighbor watches some marvel movies as I work on my projects for my classes.

explodes

Edit: Okay my imagination took my to the most tragic part of his character then randomly imagined star boy getting stabbed by this guy and said "now you feel the pain I felt when everyone died" and star boy, in the worst condition says "almost everyone" then gets a another stab from him💀

[bittersweetbonbon]

rushed thesis on a sburbian reading of on guard 43/admonition

okay. so. my theorem is that each of the seven "main characters" of on guard 43 can be mapped to a homestuck aspect, and ill describe (messily) the reasons why below. im not gonna go over all of them, since i only have a decent grasp on a few on them, so if anyone wants to chime in with their thoughts, PLEASE feel free!

placeholder mcdoctorate? time player. 100%. he is doing time player shit all fucking day. its weird and abstracted time player shit, but that's because the foundation isn't playing by sburb rules. anyways, the REISNO cannon is literally a time travel device, just like dave's turntables and aradia's quartz music boxes. he has to kill alternate versions of his friends, and time players are heavily associated with death. the REISNO cannon created a doomed timeline that was brought to end by outside forces. he's even in contact with versions of himself from the future. he's a goddamn sburb time player, i swear to fucking fuck. if it wasn't intentional on the author's part, then hussian brain programming must be installed very, very deep indeed.

lillian lillihammer? mind player. shes very concerned with her self, and meddles with other people's states of mind (thats what memetics are for, after all) as well as her own. her eidetic memory? memories are how the brain creates the mind. hers can't be tampered with that easily, even with timeline shifts. mind player trait. also, she ran off while transitioning so nobody she knew would perceive her transition, which feels very mind player to me for reasons i can't articulate since i'm very tired while writing this.

doctor william wallace wettle? light player. either fully inverted light player, or just a class that starts with an absolute fuckton of negative aspect relation. light isn't just about information, it's about luck, and wettle is incredibly lacking in both departments, to an absolute comical degree. he even degrades the luck of those around him! and while some people would argue "oh thats just void aspect-" i have to disagree. void is about concealment of information, not just a lacking of it, and also void has nothing to do with luckiness whatsoever? and also....

harold blank? void player. i think. this one im not too sure on, actually, but for one, i couldnt resist the pun of blank void, but also, it seems to me that wettle and blank are both inverted of their aspects. wettle is incredibly unlucky, and blank's informational exposition is scattered throughout various tales - always just enough information to provide context, but nothing more. honestly, it might be that they're absorbing each other's aspects, in some fucked up way, or something. anyways, his whole deal of pouring over the past to find things that might happen in the future reads as void to me, and also as seer class. determining what isn't yet from what already is or isn't and then using that to prevent (or void out) an event entirely.

karen elstrom? heart player. an inversion of the mind aspect, karen is both incredibly gullible and difficult to influence. she can't see the trees for the forest, so to speak. honestly she seems concerned with how people view her, but in the opposite way to lillian. she wants people to dislike her, to hate her, as it makes her job of managing the relationships of others easier. and the heart aspect is all about relationships. better to take herself out of the equation, or keep herself as a static variable, right?

anyways, yeah, that's my rushed and honestly incomplete thesis on what aspects the on guard 43 characters would be. hope you enjoyed!!

[abomination05]

Some Kanker headcanons/projection/analysis? (mostly about Lee)

I think the reason they act/think they way they do is both due to growing up with a hooker who has a distain towards men, but also because of their mom's financial issues. They probably had to move around a lot to live with multiple of their mom's exes, which would've been weird for any kid, and also didn't help much with making friends as they were always switching schools. (Kids in peach creek literally avoid them like the plague lol)

From my own experience being born a girl with a deep voice and a syndrome that made me taller than most other people I went to school with and have gotten picked on multiple times I think Lee has also been bullied for her height and "looking/sounding like a boy" since those are generally viewed as more masculine traits.

Another thing about the Kankers I've been thinking about is the way the present themselves. I dont think any of them like the way they look. I imagine they think in a very "everyone says im [blank] so thats what im gonna be" kind of way. They know their reputation and they go out of their way to seem as gross and menacing to the other kids as possible. 

This is just all a front though. Just like Eddy, Lee doesnt want to let her sisters or any of the other kids notice her vulnerability (which is a trait she passed down to both of her sisters). This explains why the Kankers got so scared of the Eds in "A Twist Of Ed". They got intimmidated the second the Eds stopped acting scared around them, and were only able to get back the upper hand once it was Eddy's turn and they noticed how petrified he was.

they only really have each other and I think because of that Lee being the oldest has always been protective of her sisters.

I stuggle to understand why so many people sympathize with Eddy while the Kankers are so heavily demonized, I know they're antagonists but they're essentially just troubled kids using the same defense mechanism who dont know any better and probably havent experienced anything else. Can people stop acting like they're iredeemable monsters please.

rant over. Moral of the story is that I am a Kanker apologist.

[blkkizzat]

Do you have any tips for writing fanfics? Like I wanna make my own but I’m scared people aren’t gonna like them 😭 Also how do you usually end a story? I’ve written before for school and stuff but it’s just kinda hard when I come to the end of the story…😓

-🪼

hey 🪼 babes! sorry i wrote alot so it took a min lol. take with a grain of salt though as what works for me may not work for you!

writing tips:

so first off: write for yourself. i know it's been said a million times and a worn out cliche but to break it down a bit— i feel like if you like your fic than other people will too. that is to say, we are all in the same fandom and are dorks/nerds, and like similar things even outside the fandom. i know people have their preferences on content but if you write it for your particular tastes and preferences, i promise there's other people in the fandom that will share in that too.

also even though my adhd works against me, i at least try to be organized and i always make an outline for a fic.

its super helpful to break everything up into small pieces. because then you arent staring at a blank page expecting a story to materialize from thin air LOL.

heres some things to include in your outline.

set the scene/world. where are we? what time is it? what are we initially feeling? which all Setting these things up from jump hooks in a reader as they want to feel like like are immersing yourselves in the world. especially x reader stories. i feel like x reader is so much easier to write then for two seperate characters, because if all else fails you can always call on how you personally felt or would feel in a situation then elaborate on it.

characterization. don't be afraid to make your characters a bit unlikeable, highlight their faults as you do their good parts. ex. my plug!choso fic, reader is a bitch lmfao. she takes choso for granted even though she's the happiest with him. the thing is—she knows that and it starts to eat her up. if a character can have self awareness and grow, then they have more depth than a character written with no faults.

conflict/goal. whats the conflict or what are we working towards? like even for a short pwp for ex: the goal is cum without getting interrupted/walked-in on because we are in a public bathroom. then from there you can work backwards and think. okay so what conflicts/problems would arise? where is this bathroom? what time of day is it and how many people are around? is anyone waiting on us/did we leave others to run off/will they come looking for us? you can make a conflicts out of any of those. conflicts drive the story forward and help you reach your end as its your beacon for how you progress.

ending. your ending only needs to tie the immediate conflict up. there could be an overarching conflict but you dont need to solve everything in your story. ex, continuing from the previous, y'all could be in the bathroom fucking and although the immediate conflict concerns no one interrupting you, the overarching conflict is that you both have significant others already and have yet to break this affair off. of course a pwp so you arent going to dive deep and explain the aftermath or the breakups, etc, but you can leave the story on a cliffhanger and lead the audience to guess whats next.

other tips.

don't write linearly: that is you dont have to write your story in the order of beginning, middle and end. start from wherever you want. skip around. its easier to write out the parts you do know you want then connect it together. even if its just a random piece of dialogue thats a sentence you know you want 2 scenes later, just write it down. writing is a messy process, not neat at all. which leads into... just write: even if you arent sure if you liking the idea 100% just yet write it down! you cant get to the next idea if you are stuck on why the current idea you are thinking of isn't good enough. lol this is why i say i get to a point in the process where i hate everything because ill be stuck with these meh-ideas but i know i have to get them out to get to the good idea.

edit: i edit my fics until l its something im having fun with. if you like it on first go around then thats great but just saying that to say its better to rework it or come back later to it (move on to something else in the meantime) than to put out something you aren't happy with. if you are proud of something you did that will definitely be reflected in your fic!

meditate to tap into characters: idk if you meditate often but i like to try to visualize myself in the character's shoes. what am i feeling? physically or emotionally? are there any distractions? how would i react to this? it helps with conveying character emotion, motives and makes the scene be more immersive. but in at same note, you don't have to give everything. focus on the most important aspect or two and the audience imagination will fill in the rest. some of the best compliments ppl have given me is they felt like they were watching a movie reading my fic (ty y'all the best) and i feel like its because of the immersive aspects in my fics which i take from my own reactions/experience. this also circles back to the point of liking your writing. because if you can convey what you are feeling well enough that you personally feel it re-reading your work, others will too. I hope these tips helped! 💕

[ayyyyysexual]

suggestion as someone who knows the Bare Minimum about slay the princess, hear me out:

gempearl au?

I wrote all this ages ago and it was just sat in my drafts for forever so here y'all go:

Oh my god glow dont make me think about this bc ill actually start going feral.

THE LOOPING COULD BE SO INTERESTING WITH GEM'S CANONICAL DIMENSION HOPPING...

Okay. Okay. In depth thoughtd below the cut but it will be both 1. Spoilery 2. Lowkey incomprehensible if you dont know much about the game LMAO

First off, I think Cleo would be the narrator. Why, you ask? Because its MY au and I get to put my blorbos where i want. But if im being fr then its bc she has i think the perfect combo of exhausted britishness, willingness to manipulate and lie, and overall just the Vibe to fit the narrator. Bonus points if they're a fractured version of time witch cleo from WCSMP.

And then... THE VOICES. THIS IS WHAT I IMMEDIATELY SNAG ON. Would the voices be different people, or potentially just alternate versions of Gem? Also yes ive decided gem is the protag and pearl is the princess but thats bc my original knee jerk reaction was "gem is the princess (esmp2 gem was a fave) and pearl is the hero" but then i thought harder and went waittt i love shapeshifter pearl and dimension hopper gem. I can work with that.

Anyway yeah im thinking different people for the voices, but I'd probably give gem her own internal dialogue alongside it bc it'd be less interesting if she was just the vehicle for the plot in this au. I'll probably have her be both the actual 'hero' character and voice of the hero, for simplicity.

The first ones to come to mind are false as the voice of the paranoid, because she is my #1 paranoia rep i love her, and grian as voice of the contrarian bc he fucking would.

Potentially joel as voice of the cheated, or stubborn? If we do bring wcsmp elements in then prismarina would make a great voice of the cheated too LMAO. So, Joel for voice of the stubborn

Scar is Very voice of the opportunist. And obviously the witch is double life pearl. Which is so perfect?? Like goddamn???? Especially bc i love dl sunflower duo. AND THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE VIBE WOULD BE ALMOST LIKE IF GEM AND SCAR WERE ALLIED AGAINST PEARL AT THE END OF SECRET LIFE

Broken is hard to pick a voice for, maybe mumbo? but the tower would Definitely lean into Santa Perla and the farmer god esmp2 stuff. I could see him being like "oh well it would probably be for the best if we just listen to the giant god lady who could crush us, right?"

Hunted... I was unsure for a while but maybe Shrub? Wolf spirit shrub would be rlly fun for that. And ig the beast would be some form of alien s9 pearl? OR we could lean into the more monstery salmon/siren/merfolk s10 pearl stuff

Cold could be Cub, i dont know much about him but he seems very chill and pragmatic enough for me to push to the extreme here

Skeptic... My mind has gone entirely blank for this one... ETHO MAYBE i can see etho for this. I have no idea what pearl version would work for the prisoner though

Smitten....... maybe shelby? Specifically great witch Shelby. Idk i think her whole vibe around katherine could be translated into what we need here. plus i love giving crumbs to yuri rarepairs- OR i could lean into santa perla again here and have it as sausage kinda worshipping an idealised person of the past pearl he loved (though not romantically, to me at least), which could work for a damsel variant?

anyway i dont wanna get Super into the major spoilers for stp so i wont elaborate much further, but goddd im so normal about this concept

[mmmmmmmmmmmmsoup]

MAN HUNT

OC X READER

warning: violence, kidnapping, y'know... yandere stuff

this is a long ass post mind you, so get comfortable. also, this is super unedited, so bare with me.

word count: 5,323

it was 8am in the morning, you were sitting down on the couch, drinking a warm beverage, reading one of the many books within the small home library you were spending your morning in. thats when john came into the room, a man with broad shoulders, brown mid length hair and some stubble to adorn his face. if he ever chose to wear a cowboy hat and live in the south, he'd blend right in. He stood right in-front of you and dropped a big hiking backpack at your feet, it seemed to be full of stuff with small things like rope and a pocket knife clipped to the outside of it.

"whats this?" you ask, looking up at him.

"your ticket to freedom" john says with a smirk, resting his hands on his hips.

"what?"

"well for how many times you've tried to run away from our lovely home, why not make things more fun?"

you don't respond back, you just give him a blank stare waiting for him to continue.

"I'll give you a week."

"you take whatever is in this bag, and the clothes on your back, and lets really see if you can make it through these woods, without me catching you."

your shocked, not believing what you've just heard. John, for a year now has been your captor, and has dragged you to his little home deep in the woods. he says things like, he "loves you" and that you two are "meant to be together", but people who love each other don't kidnap one another and take them away from the life they were living. As stated by john, you had tried to escape before, but he was always a step ahead of you. But this could be your chance, he was giving you an opportunity, even if he rigged it, there was no way you were saying no to this.

"when do we start"

"as soon as you get dressed." john's smirk widened.

it wasn't too long until you were in your closet going through which clothes to wear. obviously you needed clothes that could handle the weather, it was that time of year when it wasn't quite fall yet, but the days started to get a bit more chilly and the leafs started their change of colour. you had found some cargo trousers and a green plaid shirt which you layered with a white tank top underneath. all items of clothing were bought by john, including the hiker shoes you were now putting on. he had bought most of the things you now own, he mainly tried to keep it within your own style, but every now and then he would buy something he wanted to see you in or thought would be good for an activity. I guess you now know why he bought this outfit.

as you got ready, you were trying to remember all the survival tips you had learned through out the years, but there wasn't much you remembered, as it never came up before.

"i'm not sure if I've ever seen you with such a pip in your step before." john says, standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, watching you get ready.

you grab the backpack and go to open it up to see what john has given you and what else you may need, but thats when john grabs your hand to stop you.

"woah sugar, you can't see what I packed you until the game starts"

"but how do I know if even I need anything?", you argue.

"trust me, you have everything you'll need, right in that bag "

you let out a huff, zipping the backpack back up saying something under your breath about how the last time you trusted him, it ended with you being tied up and in the back seat of his car.

if john heard it, he didn't respond.

you throw on the backpack and clipping in the straps that went across your chest and hips for more security.

"ok. so what are the rules?"

john smiles, "its pretty simple, you get a 4 hour head start, you can't come back to the house at any moment unless you forfeit, and if you manage to get away without me catching you within the week, your free to go."

you nod your head, listening close to the rules. soon after john walks you outside to the front of the house. you take in the fresh air, the pine tree's giving of their piney smell, the sun shining through the tree's, and birds chirping their morning tune.

"ok, your next step forward is when the game starts, you sure you don't wanna give me a kiss before you leave, darlin?" john looks over at you, he was clearly joking but there was a small hint of hope in his eyes.

"Nope." you start to run in a random direction, not looking back. you weaved through the tree's and jumped over rocks, trying your best to not let yourself run out of breath.

As you ran, john stood where you left him, watching you disappear into the woods, once you were fully out of sight john headed back inside to make himself a coffee. he wasn't too worried about loosing you, he had far more experience dealing with the woods and backpacking in general. This should fun, you can finally feel a little bit more free, and he will still get his soon to be wife back by the end of the week. its like a little detox!

your running soon turned into a light jog, trying to figure out which way you should go. you couldn't see much from the forest floor as the tree's were too tall. figuring that you shouldn't just go straight and make it easy for john, you made a hard left. after a bit your jogging had turned into a fast walk and went that pace for about an hour and a half, so you think. truthfully you didn't quite know how long it had been, and you forgot to check the time before you left, a stupid mistake but nothing you could do about it now.

after what you think has been 2 hours you took a break and rested, but not without going through your back pack.

here is what john packed you:

sleeping bag

a thin sleeping matt

water bottle

water cleaning tablets

flashlight

pocket knife

rope

1 pair of clean clothes (but with 3 pairs of socks)

a light rain coat

first aid kit

tooth brush/paste

lighter

spork

small metal pot

binoculars

small bags of dried food/meal prep (but only enough for 3 days)

and a radio

what the hell? firstly, why for only three days? was he anticipating that how long you'd last? fucking prick, you'll show him, your gonna get the hell out of here and hope to the gods that you'll never have to see his face again.

but when you held the radio in your hands, you fought with your self if you should turn it on or not. what if it was tracking your location? was that something a radio could even do? you weren't sure.

despite your thoughts, you turned it on, it was on channel #1. before even thinking you held the button down and started speaking.

"hello, hello, this is Y/N L/N I'm lost in the woods and I need help"

you waited for a response... nothing.

you switched to channel #2 and did the same thing.

"HELLO, HELLO, THIS IS Y/N L/N I'M LOST IN THE WOODS AND I NEED HELP!"

still no response. you nearly went through all the channels saying the same thing and still nothing, no sign of another person.

that's until you got to the last channel, channel #25. you spewed your cry for help and waited, the next thing you know you hear the sounds of someone picking up the call.

"hey darlin, miss me already? it hasn't even been a full 2 hours yet" your stomach dropped, it was john on the other end. you could practically hear his sly smirk.

it took you a while to respond not sure what to say.

"oh? did you get all shy and bashful on me? don't forget, you called me, sugar." john chuckled through the radio

"are you tracking me with this? that doesn't seem fair." you ask

"no no, I'm not doing anything like that, would ruin the fun. the radio is just there incase you hurt yourself and you need help... or if you get lonely on these cold nights" john laughs

your quick to switch off the radio, and put everything back in your bag. you heard everything you needed to know, he had also mentioned that it hadn't even been 2 hours yet. the anxiety of time was getting to you, you didn't want to get caught on the first night. so you started moving, back into the pace of a light jog.

john on the other hand was delighted to hear from you, he didn't think you would actually use the radio, this soon too. he was taking his time getting ready, he gave himself four hours but was more likely to leave a little later then that. He wanted this to last a little longer then 2 days and also wanted you to squirm a little, make you feel uncomfortable, and who knows, maybe after this you won't want to leave his side.

-time skip-

it had been hours, definitely past the 4 hour mark. the sun was starting to go down, and you needed to figure out where you were gonna sleep. you looked around, there was a log near by. the log would be good place to rest your head on and had a little area that would be good for a fire, so thats where you unpacked your backpack and set up for the night. you went around grabbing bits of wood and sticks, really anything that could light on fire, you weren't new to making a campfire, but you also didn't practice very much, you knew what you needed its just putting it together was the problem. you grabbed the lighter from your bag and stood your sticks into a tipi shape, putting things like dried leafs and or moss in the middle.

half an hour later, you were just about to throw in the towel and go to bed early, but luckily your little tipi finally caught a flame and you had a little fire to warm you and your food.

you grabbed the little metal pot from your bag and one of the prepped meals. it was all dried food so you would have to add moisture by adding some water. you only added half of the food into the pot, thinking to save the rest for another night, grabbing your water bottle you add a rough estimate of 4 table spoons of water to the pot. your water bottle was already half empty from the day, thinking you'll have to find some form of water will be tomorrows goal. you took your spork, mix your ingredients, and heat it over the fire. it wasn't not long until you realize the mixture is porridge, plain but food non the less.

after you ate all of your food, you licked the pot clean, so it wouldn't attract animals or be harder to cook for the next time. you were just about to set up your bed when you had a thought.

'what if john finds me while I'm sleeping? what if the light of the fire is giving away my location at this very moment?'

with that thought you scramble to pack all of your things, despite that the sun is almost being gone. you throw you backpack on and starting kicking dirt onto your fire and stomping it to make it go out. after your sure the fire won't re-lit it's self you hurry to move from your location.

'I still have to sleep, I can't expect to win this with zero energy' you think to yourself as you frantically look for another place to rest. but as you look around each spot looks the same and equally just as easy to get caught in. you sling your head back facing the sky, huffing out in frustration, you can already feel the tears forming. if give the sky one more good look before the sun is fully gone, you just see tree's.

...that's it. the tree's.

you ripped you backpack off, digging for your flashlight and some rope. you sling the rope around your arm and hold the flashlight between your teeth, while putting the backpack back on. your gonna spend your night in a tree.

you find a tree your pretty confident climbing, you start grabbing branch after branch raising yourself higher from the forest floor. once you feel like your high enough, you grab your rope and tie it around the trunk of the tree and with the other end tie around your waist. just incase you fall while sleeping. slinging your bag so it's in your lap, you grab your sleeping bag and somehow shimmy yourself into it. not the most comfortable, but the branches of the pine tree hide you from the outside world and also help keep heat in. as you try to doze off you think about how you got in this situation.

you were just a normal person who had just moved to the big city, you were lonely and looking for people to be friends with. so when john came through the door of your work place talking you up, you were more then glad to chat back. and at some point john was no longer the regular at your work, he was your friend, and you two hung out with each on your days off. you went rock climbing together, restaurants and cafe's, a few hikes here and there, just whatever was available. and one day after dinner together, john had asked you if he could show you something, just out of town. of course you agreed, he was your friend and hadn't shown any red flags at the time. but once you two past the city and kept driving, you were starting to get cold feet. you had insisted john turn around, and it got to the point you were screaming "JOHN IM NOT KIDDING, TURN THE CAR AROUND, THIS IS TOO FAR OUT". He insisted he just wanted to show you something very important, but everything in your head was screaming at you to get out. you remember grabbing for the door handle, despite the car still in fast motion, thats when john yoinked your hand back and pulled over, slamming the breaks. before you know it, your tied up, sitting in the back seat, with your mouth tapped shut. what a horrid memory, and the idea that you may have to relive that again.... just foul.

-time skip-

at the crack of dawn when the birds started to sing was when you woke up, you were glad to find yourself in the same spot as to when you fell asleep, but man... you felt like shit. you got as much sleep as you would think you'd get, sleeping in a tree, which is very little.

you shimmy out of your sleeping bag, fold it back into your pack, along with putting away the flashlight and untying the rope and clipping it back to your bag. As you climbed back down to the forest floor, you tried to keep an eye out for signs of someone being near by, non to your knowledge.

todays goal was as yesterday's, get as far away from john and that dam prison he's been keeping you in. but also, to find some sort of body of water, as you were starting to run low. you headed in a direction opposite from where you came from, and as you walked, it actually was kind of nice. breathing in the fresh morning air, watching the sun slowly rise above your head, at one point you even saw some deer. you'd hate to say it, but you were enjoying it.

-time skip-

hours had passed, with you keeping a good pace of jogging and speed walking, you felt confident about the distance between you and john, but you did begin to worry about finding water, wondering if you were even heading in the right direction of finding any. 20 minutes later however, that worry melted away. you could hear the sounds of rushing water, and in the direction you were walking, the tree's started to part ways. once you walked up to the tree line you saw a river, rushing bright blue water straight from the mountains. you find a rocky beach area where you can sit and collect some water, dipping you water bottle into the ice cold river. you grab one of the tabs in your bag, supposedly your suppose to drop 1 tab in your bottle and it cleans any dirty water and makes it safe to drink. after the tab dissolves and you shake it real well, you take a drink.

you don't think you've ever had water quite so refreshing.

as you take this time to re-gain your energy, you grab a granola bar from your bag, and munch down on it. it's not along after a chipmunk starts making it's way to you, clearly smelling your food.

you argue with yourself, if you should share with the cute animal, or safe it for yourself. in the end, you decided it wouldn't hurt you if you gave the chipmunk one small peanut from your bar. you placed the peanut in your hand and reached out to the it. the chipmunk was obviously sceptical of your donation, but it only took a minute until he was eating right out of your hand. you couldn't help but smile and enjoy the moment.

... that was until you heard a snap from the right of you.

you didn't move, and you tried your best to keep smiling, but in the corner of your eye, you saw him.

it was a shadowy figure hiding within the tree's and bushes, definitely human shaped. it couldn't be anyone else but him.

he wasn't moving towards you though, just hunched down, watching.

you could hear your heart beat in your hears, you struggled to keep your breath steady.

you slowly started to pack your belongs and act as if you didn't know he was there, and as you did you grabbed the pocket knife that was clipped onto your backpack.

you clipped yourself into your backpack, so everything was secure, you took a deep breath...

you ran.

back into the tree line, and in the opposite direction of your captor. you didn't dare look back, and you didn't need to, you could hear shuffling from behind you, of something moving through the bushes caching up to you.

you weaved through tree's, hoping to loose him, at on point you were running along side the river. trying to find any means of escape you saw some rocks almost making a bridge across the river.

you went for it. jumping rock to rock, and as you almost make it across, something grabs your backpack from behind, it pushes you down, half of your body landing on the rocks, the other half of you landing in the freezing cold water. john also in the same position as you, but with a grip on your bag.

"hey honey, long time no see. you were looking real cute back there, acting like a Disney princess, princess" john tried to keep a cool expression, but being dipped in freezing cold water wasn't exactly the plan, and you could see him cringe at the temperature change.

you tried to yank his hand away from your bag, but it wouldn't budge. you could only move so much unless you wanted to fully submerged in the water and taken down stream.

and john just kept talking, "y'know, I didn't think you'd spot me, but I guess thats why I like you... just full of surprises!"

john starts moving, trying to reach you with his other hand, hoping to pull you back on land with him. that's when you open you pocket knife. swinging the knife towards him, you manage to cut the palm of his free hand. he hisses in pain and lets go of you to cup his now bleeding hand, that's when you kick him over the rocks and fully into the water, he tries to grab at you, but the current takes him away before he can. your quick to stand up, not bothering to watch him float away, you begin to run. your soaked and cold to the bone, but you don't care, running is the only thing on your mind.

-time skip-

it had been... maybe 2 hours now? 2 hours of you strictly running, the sun was starting to go down, and you could feel your body yearn for warmth. you found a spot surrounded by wild rose bushes, so if anyone was in the area, you would be able to hear them first before they saw you, plus the thorns would give you a little more protection against people or animals.

you sparked a fire, a little faster then the night before, and soon you began to strip, taking off your wet clothes and laying them near the fire to dry, you grabbed the clean pair in your backpack. you also snuggled into your sleeping to try to warm up faster, while making food. after eating the rest of your porridge, you snuffed out your fire just enough so no flame or light was giving away your location, but enough that the coals and ash were still warm and hopefully would keep you warm through the night.

it didn't take you long to fall asleep, exhausted from chaise.

mean while john had managed to swim himself to shore 20 minutes after being swept away by the river. his hand was still bleeding but the water and washed most of it away, luckily it wasn't too deep of a cut, but infection was still a possible outcome. he cut his losses for the day, figuring you had probably ran pretty far already, not to mention the how far the river took him down, away from you. he was quick to set up camp, make a fire and dry his clothes. just like you, he also had a backpack full of anything he needed. sadly most of his stuff was pretty soaked and he had to lay out all of it in hopes it would dry before he went to sleep. luckily the radio was water proof so, that was still able to work. and while he was waiting for his things to dry and his food to cook, he figured he'd see if your radio was on.

"hey sweetness" he sang "you there?"

he waited for a response, but got nothing.

"I guess even if her's was on, she might be pretty mad at me for what I just tried to pull" john chuckled to himself.

"that's ok though, let her be mad, then after she can come home with me and be my darlin little wife"

john starts twirling his finger in the dirt, as he's dreaming of the day you two are married, then have kid together, and maybe another one if it works out.

he just couldn't help it, you just so beautiful, with such a strong spirit too, willing to fight for what's yours. your just a little confused and don't realize this life he's set up for the two of you, is your life. your new one, better life.

but that's why he was doing all of this, to make you realize you belong to him are meant to be together.

-time skip-

you woke around the same time as the day before, but this time you had a way better sleep. most of your stuff was pretty dry, a few damp patches but nothing too bad. feeling rested you packed your things and started your journey, you were on day 3 and still had a good amount of food and a full water bottle. part of you wanted to head back to the river and follow it down to hopefully a town or something, so you would have consistent water supply, but that was the direction john was and you didn't want to run into him again...if he was still alive.

was he still alive?

I mean that last time you saw him, he got swept up by the river, plenty of people have died in similar situations. if he was dead, it would then be safe to head in whatever direction you wanted

"mmm" you let yourself think for a bit, wondering what you should do.

you end up digging for your radio in your bag, you didn't want to call out to him, but for the sake of directions, you needed to know if he was alive or not.

"hello? anyone there?", you wait for a response.

....

"well shoot, if I didn't know any better, I would think that your checking up on me, darlin. you worried about me?" you hear john speak through the radio.

and that's all you needed to hear, he was alive, which meant you were gonna go up stream, rather then down.

"sugar? don't leave me hanging, I-" before he could finish his sentence and probably call you another pet name, you turned the radio off and tucked it back into your bag"

-time skip-

today was well paced and didn't run into any issues. the only reason for that though is probably cause john is trying to catch up, you didn't know how far the river took him after all.

but still no sign of a town or another human, just woods and more woods. you flipped through the other radio channels seeing if it had picked up on any new radios, still none.

you set up for the night, next to a mossy log that had fallen over some time ago. you had dug into your second bag of rations, only eating half of it so you could eat the rest for tomorrow.

and while you started getting ready for bed john, was still making his way towards you. he spent all day trying to find your tracks and on some sort of luck, he did. unknown to either of you john still had a good while to go until he reached you, but he knew if he moved while you slept, it was more likely for him to catch up faster.

-time skip-

day 4, and the sun rises once more. you awake and just like the last few days, your quick to pack up and be on the move. except theres a chill in the air, you can see your breath, and once you take a closer look around you, theres a light layer of frost covering the forest ground. it was pretty to see, how the sun shined on the plants and made everything sparkle. but that was enough looking around, you had to remind yourself that a loved obsessed psycho was after you.

you continue walking for about an our now, watching all the frost slowly melt from the sun's gaze, but you should have been paying more attention, cause if you were, you would have seen the rope you were about to pull with your foot.

the second it happened, you looked down and felt your stomach drop. 'shit.'

your immediately wrestled to the ground, landing on your belly, your feet being the first thing to be tied up. you try kicking john off of you, and although you hit him a few times, he doesn't let go. you try to rip your backpack off, so you can grab your pocket knife, but after tying you feet john quickly pins your arms to your sides.

'it was stupid to put the knife away.'

with all your might you try to get him off of you, and you do! but with you feet tied together, you can only crawl away from him. its not long till john grabs you by the boots and drags you closer to him, your fingers digging into the dirt.

"NO! NO! GET OFF OF ME!" you scream in full panic.

john throws your backpack to the side and starts to tie your hands behind your back. you begin to cry.

"NO PLEASE! LET ME TRY AGAIN, I CAN DO IT! I WAS SO CLOSE!"

your reliving your nightmare once more, not able to stop screaming and the tears from falling.

the next thing you know john stabs something into your neck, a syringe. the world starts to become fuzzy and your body feels heavy.

"it's ok darlin, don't cry. you did your best, but now you get to come home with me and lay in a comfy bed, with warm food, and running water." john caresses your cheek as he speaks to you.

you try to deny his words, but it just comes out as mumbles and soft little no's. john can't help but chuckle at the state your in, so harmless and weak.

-time skip-

you wanna say you remember how john got you back to his house, but you can't. he probably drugged you the whole trip, so you wouldn't struggle. but the next time you woke up, not drugged out of your mind, you were in the familiar bed you dreaded.

you had failed, you had one shot, and you fucking failed. this was gonna be your life, trapped in the woods with a man that was utterly insane.

for the rest of the year, you were gloomy a shell of who you once were. if john wanted to cuddle, you did without a fight. which made john partly happy, but he also missed that spark you had, the very thing he fell in love with. it wasn't till the seasons started changing once more, just between summer and fall until john dropped the same backpack in front of your feet and game you the same opportunity.

he tells you that, "it was so fun last year, why not do it again?"

and so you did, every year, and every year he caught you, but every year you got better and closer to escaping. learning to skills, reading more books about things like wild berries or how to tell which way is north.

it was weird, cause it kept you in line for majority of the year, doing most of the things john asked of you, but you had your spark back, you had something to look forward to.

there was a year where you had ran into a bear, and john fought it off for you, or the year you figured out which direction you needed to head for the best out come. there was a year you had managed to last 6 days before john caught you, your personal best.

but as the years went past, john eventually fulfilled his wish of starting a family with you. the year you were pregnant john refused to let you leave the house, and doted on you like a butler would to royalty, which wasn't too different even when you weren't pregnant. but you had thought that, that was the end for you and your chance at freedom was gone. but once your child had turned 1 year old, john dropped the familiar backpack at your feet once more.

except this time you had to take the child with you, or not go at all.

risk the health of your child? or risk your freedom?

what an awful choice to make.

the end.

how was that ya'll? was it too long, did i string it out for too long in some parts? pls tell me

[huellitaa]

𖹭𓂃 ࣪˖ saying no

something ive struggled with for pretty much my entire life 😭

𐙚๋࣭ people pleasing:

a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.

trouble with saying no to people often comes from insecurity. when you feel bullied into things or backed into a corner too often it can lead to agreeing with everything and anything just so people will like you.

1. take small steps

getting out of habits like this are not easy whatsoever and take lots of time. taking small steps to implement getting rid of people pleasing tendencies is the best way to go about this; for example, just blocking someone who bothers you and starting from there.

2. fake it till you make it !

confidence is something absolutely essential but not easy to attain; thats where this skill comes in handy. ive been doing this since i was little and i wont lie and say it melts into real confidence because it doesnt, its just a shield to hide behind until your are genuinely confident and id definitely recommend this 100% to anybody starting or struggling to try and break this habit. act like youre fine & unaffected in front of the people who put you in this position even if you arent. dont show your weaknesses when you know they can be used against you.

3. valuing yourself

value yourself over all else. you are the most important person in your life. validate, support, and value yourself. trust your judgement is right and prioritise the protection of your peace above all else because that is the most important thing.

4. body language

ok as a girl with an incredibly infuriating tendency to turn red over the tiniest thing i feel a little bit of a hypocrite writing this but this is very very very important. if you find yourself in a position where you feel unable to refuse something or anything of the sort you do not show that.

🩰 ─ even if your cheeks turn red act like they arent. ik its sosoosos embarrassing n ur screaming inside but act like its nothing. bcs it is nothing. ok so theres a tiny bit of colour in your cheeks. and? stand your ground.

🧸── back straight, shoulders high, face blank. you dont show anything on your face. show you are completely stubborn and set on your choice/opinion.

🎀 ── if they try to embarrass you or say smth what i do is i literally just blink at them like okay. i dont care. do whatever bro idgaf

5. no hesitation

for the love of god do not second guess yourself. if something makes you upset or uncomfy or anxious or anything like that you leave them you walk away from them you block them you do not second guess yourself and think "but what if" no idc. if it costs you your peace its too expensive.

6. does this help me?

ok obviously when i say to say no i dont mean to like everything. only to the things you do anyway even if you dont want to. if youre not sure what to do when faced with the option to do something you ideally wouldnt really want to the first question you should be asking yourself is "does this help me?" think of it only from your perspective and how it would help you. ask yourself if its really necessary and if its serving you in any way to do this. if its just to fit in with someone else even if you dont really want to then do it then dont do it. why isnt your own presence enough? your peace is the only priority you should have here. what would you tell someone you love in your position? think about it for a sec instead of panicking.

conclusion; people pleasing is useless. you are the centre of ur universe. your peace is the only priority. people are stupid. you can do this. dont let anyone make you feel less than you are. i love u 🫶🩷

[bunglegaydogs]

Fyodor's downfall.

This is just going to be a fairly quick one, but I have some points to make about the whole "chess game" that is Fyodor and Dazai's bullshit lol.

As we all know, despite how similar Dazai and Fyodor appear to be, they are parallels to each other. Dazai is going to these lengths to save the ADA and Yokohama, and innocent people. There's really nothing in it for him. Fyodor, on the other hand, is going to these extrenuous fucking lengths all to qipe the world clean and have a blank slate, a world without ability users; this is for his own gain. Though we don't know his motives or reasoning behind why he's doing what he's doing, we do know that he benefits from this situation. Not only does he obtain benefit, but his god complex allows him to uphold the belief that he will succeed no matter the situation. Dazai, who he sees as a formidable opponent, is currently on the lowest floor, crawling, bleeding and dying. He sends Chuuya down there to him, knowing that Chuuya can easily overpower Dazai as he is in a weak state and is in no condition to be fighting back against anyone. Fyodor knows this, and sees this as the end to their longstanding feud. Obviously, this isn't the case, because Asagiri is not just going to kill Dazai off here (fucking hopefully). But, this here is Fyodor's downfall; his hamartia. He is so fixated on the fact that he will overcome any situation, and is so sure of himself, that it blinds him. This will become important. Because unlike Dazai, who is being dragged through the mud and fucking dirt yet is still determined, Fyodor has only been close to death one time. And even then, it wasn't nearly as intense as Dazai and Sigma's situation. He doesn't look as assed as Dazai does when he realises what's going on. However, Dazai has a great talent of thinking up before and on the spot for how to get out of unprecedented situations. Fyodor, however, we haven't seen him think on the spot to get out of a sticky situation, because he hasn't been in one yet. He foresaw Dazai trying to drown him and Chuuya and had Chuuya break the rubble. He didn't fight back against the soldiers when they arrested him. Yes, he was completely shocked, but eventually started smiling because he knew that Dazai was not to be underestimated.

However this is exactly what he's doing.

Not only is he underestimating Dazai, he's underestimating Dazai and Chuuya's relationship, and is sending Chuuya straight to Dazai, which, once again, will be his downfall due to his inability to understand human and complex emotions.

Dazai is determined, but not cocky. That is Fyodor's downfall; the fact that he thinks he's better than anyone. But, Dazai has some sense of being humble when it comes to serious situations. Even as an exec, we never saw him EVER talk about his own achievements or how well he'd done, because he didn't want to be one in the first place. We see him trying to ask Oda for his job lmao. When Higuchi and Gin were watching him, he knew about it, found them, then was like "well yeah i made the fucking surveillance methods" but not to be cocky or "oh look at me!". He said it because he was answering her question. Yes, we see his self-confidence when he's talking to women, or being dramatic, or exaggerating small things and being whimsical, but always in serious situations, he never boasts. when Kouyou was in the ADA, he says "has there ever been a prisoner who didnt talk when i was the one asking the questions?" not to boast or show off, but to instill fear into Kouyou, which it did, because he was right. But, Fyodor on the other hand is calm and laid back, but because he's so calm and laidback and doesn't expect anyone else to best him, thats going to be his downfall. His inability to understand human and complex a emotions and his narcissistic personality and his god complex. He's underestimating the relationship between Chuuya and Dazai, and the "absolute trust" (as the book says) they have between one another. He knows that Dazai is a formidable opponent, yet he still underestimates him and expects nothing more than what he has given him, because we're seeing Dazai lose. This is a first for us. And, you'd expect it to be a first for Dazai, but as we know, he's already lost far too much. He can't lose anymore. He won't lost anymore. But now he's fighting for his life because there's still nothing left to lose, except now there's Chuuya, the ADA, and now Sigma. And he wants to protect them all. Also, some people in the PM (Aku, Kouyou, Hirotsu, Gin, Higuchi, etc. I don't think he gives a rat's ass about Mori but hey.) and Yokohama in general. He's not doing this because it's his job and hes obliged to, he's doing it because he cares about the others, and stands to uphold Odasaku's final wishes. Fyodor is going through all this to create a better world (selfish reasons) because he doesn't like ability users (despite him being the character with the most kills due to his ability (excluding aku, chuuya, hirotsu, pm members basically, kyouka, kinda atsushi but not really. he doesnt kill uneless he has to.) ) idk man fyodors wild lmao.

Anyways, my point still stands. The parallel's between these two go far beyond just mental capacity and how smart each of them are, and their predictive abilities, or their unempathetic attitudes towards life. This is where they differ, however. Because unlike when he was in the PM, Dazai has grown fond of the people in his life. The only people he really had in the PM to care for were Oda, Ango and Chuuya. However, he lost all of that in such a short amount of time. And one of them, arguably the most important aspect in his life, he lost permanently. And now he's faced with the possibility that he can lose one of the few people he has a strong bond with, and he's doing everything in his power to keep that.

Fyodor is just using people to his own gain, not giving two shits about the outcomes and only what he can get out of it; he's playing his pieces carefully and planning his moves flawlessly. And it seems like he's currently coming out on top. But, there are some holes in this plan that he didn't plan for; Sigma and Chuuya. Sigma, who was originally his pawn, has became Dazai's, except Dazai isn't using him like Fyodor. Yes, he's beneficial to Dazai's plan, but that's not all Dazai sees for him. Because for all Dazai's similarities to Mori, he doesn't want to be like him and go down the route of using people and manipulating them to better his own game. Fyodor on the other hand is an unfeeling demon, prepared to go for any measures to make sure that his plan is enacted as he envisioned.

And this is where he's a bit fucked. Because he's fairly vain in the sense that he holds such confidence in his own ability to come out on top and succeed in his plans, he's not really associating with anything else because to him, it looks like his plan is going along smoothly.

However, we'll see how that goes over with Chuuya and Dazai's reunion.

Ah, sorry, this was a bit longer than expected and honestly it's probably just a bunch of bullshit. I've had a bit to drink tonight and I'm very tired but I just wanted this out there.

Anyways, have a lovely day/night! <3

[angelsdean]

how is dean not the same as john. in the later seasons i mean. sorry but describing him as "not an angry man" is insane to me cause dean's number 1 of getting out his emotions is anger. i love dean as well but like. you know john tried to be better too right? like i dont really understand how you extend this huge hand to excuse some of dean's angry/bad tendencies (which imo makes him that mlre interesting: the fact that he is angry and he's sometimes not a particularly good person) but refuse to extend even a sliver of this to john? obviously i get that you're attached to dean way more than john thats like common sense for us deangirls but genuinely. cas died and dean did turn into his father. its a thing that happened. i love dean and i dont understand how you can call yourself a deanlover but... erase so much of him??? like you can say he has bad qualities. thats what makes him human. john and dean are much more similar than you claim and its genuinely confusing to me why you don't see that. not trying to start a fight or anything i genuinely would like to get a piece of your mind on this

no no no you misunderstand. i am not erasing ?? his anger. he IS angry (it's just that anger for dean is rarely actually anger). i also think his imperfections are what make him interesting. i talk abt this a lot actually. about how i don't believe in flatting ANY character to prop them up as your fave. people being messy and flawed is good. the problem i have is people who do not look at dean w/ any nuance and just point blank go: he's angry therefore he's abusive and equals john without examining WHY he's angry, where that anger originates from, the fact that his anger most often is Not true anger for the sake of anger or violence. instead, his anger most often stems from fear and grief. especially during widower's arc. he's drowning in grief and as much as we love jack and can see in hindsight that he wasn't a threat at all, dean doesn't know that! we as the audience get the privilege of often knowing and seeing more than the characters! all dean sees at the time is a Very powerful being, who IS the son of lucifer, and who he believes manipulated his best friend and got him killed. he does have every right to be afraid and wary of jack. (and i'd argue he has the right to feel this way again with soulless jack, he IS afraid of him and what he might do and he's also grieving mary and that mixture of grief + fear is where his anger-but-not-really-anger comes from). like, because of the way dean was raised, because of growing up with the angry man that is john, the only emotion that was really expressed and "allowed" was anger. anger was justified. crying and sadness and fear, that's weakness in john winchester's household. but anger was powerful and masculine and good.

i also DO look at john with nuance as well. i've talked about how i don't like when people reduce john to a flat caricature or cartoon villain abuser. there's more going on, there's nuance, their dynamic is so complicated. john is Also, at first, drowning in his own grief. i think early on, john DID try, and was mostly motivated by a desire to protect his family, but he went about it wrong and imperfectly. however, where they diverge, is that john continued to let his anger consume him for the sake of revenge. he neglected his children, he put them in danger through his repeated neglect, and he did (based on various pointed insinuations) at one point or another physically abuse them, most likely dean specifically (the line abt flagstaff, also less "canon" but in the john's journal book john mentions how dean was particularly responsive to "discipline" and that john feels he's been too soft on sam)

the thing is, being angry doesn't make you a bad person. being angry is human. dean's anger imo, and the way we see it manifest--most often when what he really wants to express is grief and fear--is indicative of his internalized behaviors learned from john and past trauma that remains unresolved. this man has never had a chance to COPE or unpack not only the abusive and controlling environment he grew up in, but all the subsequent years of trauma INCLUDING his hell trauma. that's a lot. all those bottled up feelings are gonna turn into a lot of anger and frustration. he doesn't suffer perfectly. like you said, and which i agree, he is not perfect. he's flawed. he's human. but i don't think being angry and suffering imperfectly makes him a bad person. i feel too much empathy and compassion for him. i can see struggling and i want someone to help him. sometimes when people are in pain they'll say or do things they don't mean. and yes, they may hurt people in the process and those people are allowed to feel upset, but dean is also hurting. and i don't think he's a horrible person for not suffering the "right" way or not being a "good victim." and that's how i view widower's arc, as someone who is deeply hurting and suffering. it's not excusing his behavior but it's not villainizing it either. john gets similar feelings from me too, to a point. but john took things further and actively abused and neglected his young children and raised them to be soldiers and made them put aside their dreams and desires in the name of HIS revenge quest. he raised his children to live in fear and used fear and violence to control them. however, despite the fact that *i* don't particularly like john winchester, i know that his dynamic w/ his sons is nuanced and i know that dean both Loves and Hates him and that both those feelings can and do co-exist and i enjoy that duality.

dean's complicated emotions during times of intense grief and stress (widower's arc, losing mary, finding out chuck was controlling his whole life) are isolated moments but do not speak for his whole self. outside these high stress situations, where what he's really feeling is fear / grief / worry, we usually see dean to be very compassionate and patient and good with children.

this is getting very long now and i don't know if you'll take the time to read all of it but i'd like to conclude with saying my main issue with the "angry man in the house" phrase is the way it is used out of context to paint dean as becoming john and taking the place of the angry man in the house, when the original context of the quote is about being haunted by the angry man you grew up with, not becoming him. i talk more in-depth about all of that in this post.

also, just as an aside but, i generally have two "modes" of operating on this blog. one is fangirl mode where yea, dean is my blorbo specialest princess who can do no wrong<3 and then there's the other mode where i'm doing formal analysis of canon where it's more abt dissecting things and talking meta and looking at WHY characters are acting how they are. that's when i talk abt their flaws and motivations and nuance and context. also, people are often needlessly harsh or over-exaggerate things dean said or did in canon just to villainize him and in those instances yes i will go to bat for dean and "defend" him, usually by just, pointing out the nuances and additional context for his actions that many choose to overlook or misinterpret just to make dean seem worse than he actually was.

[hereforthefunnyguys]

Hey bro, if you don't mind me asking... What's the worst Yu-Gi-Oh take you've ever seen? I like seeing you rant.

God... I'm blanking right now but there are a Lot. There are just so many </3.

Later addendum: This went... all over the place. I have no clue what happened here but I stand by my opinions.

I realize I rant about Marik problems a lot (tis the tism) but I think the ones that actually tend to genuinely anger me the most in like a "oh, you genuinely did not read the same series as me" are the ones that attempt to villainize Atem over the whole series or make it seem like he only really cared about Yugi. That is just like. Blatantly incorrect.

First of all, I realize everyone really likes s0 "ooooOOO eDgY yAmI", but early manga Yami Yugi was only terribly violent for a few chapters. After that, he pretty firmly chillaxes, especially post-Death-T and definitely post-Monster World. And we are given a... pretty good reason for why he was like that originally! I would also be a little mad if I woke with no memories after being tormented in a labyrinth full of shadow demons for so long i literally could not remember being born and my first sight was someone trying to beat the shit out of the guy who was kind enough to release me from my Gay and Stupid Maze!

Literally guys, he's like a recently adopted stray kitten. He's just lashing out because he's scared. He's not evil you idiot he's 15 and incredibly incredibly confused and freaked out. Yes he still committed murder no I don't care we've excused other people for worse (take note of how these will often be the same people that uwuify marik or yb (but marik especially -> about to have a sub-rant its related i promise.))

ps. i don't get the marik thing he may be pretty but he is not a sniffling little kitten like people write him as (especially in comparison to his Big Bad Evil Personality and dangerous-bad-boy Yami Bakura who certainly never admitted to himself considering Marik slimy and weird and a dangerous asshole in canon no sir never). The man literally tried to drown Joey and (admittedly accidentally) got his own big brother fried like a fork in a toaster engineered by Elon Musk (and, I want to mention, he didn't seem to consider Rishid a genuine brother until much later after the psychological equivalent of multiple slaps upside the head). I think people just don't know how to write mental illness and/or emotions other than Horny or Sad and morals more complex than black and white.

This is actually part of I think a larger problem in the fandom with not tending to remember the whole storyline/point of yugioh was proving that people are not naturally evil and in fact often prove to be quite noble when they get taken out of a bad situation and worked on a little. Ppl don't quite get this outside of redeeming their favorite evil pretty boy so he can date around, so they either make everyone a sad little angel thats never done anything wrong in their life or a terrible demon whose surprisingly abusive qualities are only matched by his shockingly canon-inaccurate height and muscle mass increase. This is, imo, why people tend to do That to Atem. Either they interpret him as a perfect Good King that can do no wrong or, sadly more commonly, an evil serial killer that only cares about [EXPLETIVE REMOVED]ing Yugi and then pretty much nothing else.

Also, he was like... not a bad Pharoah from the exactly (checks notes) 72 hours he got to be one before dying a horrible torturous undeath. For the good of his kingdom, I want to mention. That was something he willingly undertook for the sake of his people. As far as autocratic dictators went, he was by all accounts a pretty nice one! Didn't even torture anyone to death! In fact he was so against the idea of torturing people to death we had to Specifically keep the bit where we were actually doing that secret from him!

also section B of this take then usually comes around to trying to prove he never cared about his friends other than yugi. And if I may be so spicy in the chat tonight. This is usually ooc puzzleshipping brain rot influencing critical thinking. Yes yes I get that your yami yugi 20k yandere fanfic (with a yugi that cries all the time for some reason and apparently refuses to just Take The Damn Thing Off) is hot but brother of mine that is not what Atem was like in canon. Like. At all.

First of all, even before Memory World he showed off caring about his friends. There was the whole "deadly yo yos" incident with Joey and then there was the not one but two Anzu hostage situations that he dealt with, one of which when there was literally no benefit to him or yugi to go and rescue her! In fact it put them in Active Danger to do so! And from what I remember, that was before even Death-T! So he has very much cared about his friends from the very beginning, individual of his aspect as an extension of Yugi's survival instinct.

Also. The whole point of Yu-Gi-Oh is the whole friendship is magic stuff. That absolutely applies to Atem as well. In fact it probably applies to him more so. The guy really depends on all of his friends for his sanity in a way that not even Yugi does. He likes Joey and he likes Anzu and he likes Honda (even with as little time as he got to shine RIP spiky haired king) and he likes Ryou! In fact one of the original conflicts in Battle City was that he cared about Ryou so much he wouldn't get rid of his age old archenemy because it would have hurt Ryou! But anyways. Anyways.

It feels like part of that can be blamed on the Orichalchos arc in the anime (which was certainly. An Arc. Not good not bad but a secret 3rd thing.) where they had him get incredibly depressed and ever so slightly unstable when Yugi went away. Which makes sense for him, but then people tend to overstate it to "Atem is inconsolable when Yugi isn't there to make it all better for him" and not "Atem feels incredibly guilty for falling under the spell of a literal magically evil-inducing rock and would likely feel similar if he lost really any of his friends in a similar manner."

"But steve. how are those last two things at all related to each other" WELL. YOU SEE. It always feels like people tend to make Atem evil and hate everyone else in order to justify a fantasy scenario where "Yugi" (read: writer's self-insert) gets to come along and redeem him and he gets to be their loyal attack dog. And you know what? I'm fine with that as a fanfic scenario! Let people have fun! Is probably very hot to people who are not stickily uptight bastards like me! But it annoys me like Hell when people try to canonize that particular bit of oocness.

Atem isn't evil. The poor boy is having his own problems. He's hanging out. He's doing his best. Leave him alone. He literally is just a teenage boy that likes to play games. Let him chill. Let him chill.