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suguru-getos · 9 months

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Happy Birthday Keigo! 🎉

-> Hawks x F!Reader

A/N: Mentions of Keigo’s birthday in the Takami household, along with your son. <3 This is just pure, self indulgent fluff tbh. I was gonna write smut that can come later 🤭❤️‍🔥 happy birthday to the love of my life, the light of my life - Takami Keigo ^^

As the number two hero of Japan, the most sought out, the most popular & famous. Keigo’s birthday sure isn’t all that sought out. He’s busy with meetings & PR, while you thought you could spend the birthday eve with him. You’re so annoyed but at the same time helpless— what can you do really? It’s not like he is purposely doing this. Purposely being busy… he’s not.

Your eyes dart towards the clock. 12:00 am on the dot. You pout, rummaging through the bedsheets to find your phone. Fine, you can make do with a text message. Calling him while he’s in a meeting gets embarrassing for others moreso than Hawks. You see, he has no regard for other people. He would simper around, call you his baby, say he loves you… while other people would awkwardly try to stomach the #2 hero being whipped. You pout when you open his text tab, typing out a short.

You (12:00 am): Happy birthday daddy! <33

The message isn’t seen yet, and you sulk harder, shoulders drooping as you sigh & lean against the bedsheets. Yep, you could much rather scroll through TikTok instead. At least, the Hawks fandom would be active & would care about his birthday. Something you have in commonality.

Your son was peacefully asleep in his room. He’s turning three soon, and you couldn’t really wait to see him grow. Thoughts of him already idolising Keigo ripple through your mind as you smile faintly. That’s when you’re invited into a lull slumber.

The next morning when you’re awake, you pout instantly. Fucked was your whole plan to spend his birthday eve together. Keigo had officially turned 27 today. A low rumble of his melodious voice echoed through the kitchen, mingled with the clattering of your son’s indulgent ‘helper’ whines as he prepares stuff with Dadda. Your heart warms, and you quickly rush.

“Good morning Kei, morning Ai.” You call him, and your son who’s wings puff up instantly upon seeing his mother. “Mama mornin!” He chirps, and Keigo grins back, “Oh good morning sunshine, you look gorgeous— haven’t told ya that everyday as if~” Keigo scoffed dramatically, leaning in and kissing you softly.

“Happy birthday…” you hum, running your hands through his hair, forgetting everything and why you were a little testy upon him. “Thank you babygirl.” He croons, nuzzling against your neck and giving a chaste kiss.

“M’ sorry I was so carried away by work y’know. Hate to be the hero sometimes.” He winked, ushering you towards your seat in the dining area. “Made yer favorite!” He beams, loitering through the culinary crockery.

“It’s your birthday, I’m the one who’s supposed to do the spoiling!” You audibly whine, making Aideen (your son), giggle up. “Mama spoilin’!!” He repeated innocently, and you nodded with a grin. “Yes baby, today’s Dadda’s birthday.” You hum, kissing his cheek. “C’mon, wish him a happy birthday.”

Your son glanced up at Keigo, who’s eyes softened instantly at the two individuals he would cut his heart up for. Ai tried, fumbling a soft, “Appy bufday Dadda” but the cheerfulness of the wish has Keigo’s eyes waver & gloss up. You pat Ai on the head, grinning. “Oh good boy, that was such a good birthday wish!”

The thing is, you and Keigo didn’t have to try the whole ‘gentle parenting’ thing ever. Luckily, you knew exactly what were the good parts you would like to pick up from your parents. Keigo knew exactly what he doesn’t want to be. Parenting came naturally. Though, there were times you found Hawks rather confused… but you were always there with him, holding a hand.

“Ai’s gonna start Nursery soon.” You hum, while cutting up the fruits and dipping them in maple syrup. “Yeah, I know Sweetie.” Keigo smiled, looking at you and scanning your face for any emotion remotely close to worry. “You know he’s going to do well, right?” He asks, hand reflectively brushing against yours.

“Yeah, but he’s the son of a very famous Hero.” You looked up, biting your lip a little out of nervousness. You haven’t been a celebrity kid. Hell you don’t even know how it would feel. These past four years with your man has only taught you never to go out without looking your best. You’ve been papped several times after all.

In the begining of the relationship, it was so troublesome and hard for you. Wherever you went with Hawks — the paparazzi followed like a flock. You & Keigo both have been successful in hiding Ai’s face from the media so long. Part of you wants to keep him safe so that no one could ever see what your son looks like, let alone trouble him.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the school would be incredibly secure. I’d ask you to get him homeschooled but then I know we both don’t wanna deprave him off a normal life yeah?” Keigo coos, kissing your forehead. You nod, seemingly half-convinced still.

“Mmm, how about I send a silly little feather along?” You perk up at that idea, that was fantastic!

“That sounds okay. That way you’d know what’s up.” You smiled, observing his golden eyes dilate the moment a smile festered on your face. Gosh he was so visible with all his desperate and unconditional love towards you.

“Atta girl! Keep that smile on for me all day! Today’s my birthday and I get to have whatever I want.” Keigo grinned wide, and you nodded in approval.

“So I was thinkin’ maybe we could go out today… y’know like one of those times when I book a sneazy comfy place where there’s snow & there’s warm fireplace & there’s a lotta~” he leaned in, whispering the next part, “sex.”

You cackled, you knew Ai wouldn’t understand yet, but he’s of that age where he continually repeats words over & over. He repeated ‘Fuck’ over and over once Keigo slipped it out & had you reign hell fire upon the house. That was the first and the last time your husband did that mistake though. Ever so sharp & ever so careful (mostly).

“I’m in, want to spend all my time with you.” You confessed like a blushy highschooler, and Keigo grinned.

“Well a fuckin’ happy birthday to me then!”

“Fuckin’ appy bufday!” Ai repeated.

“Oh- no.” Hawks facepalmed.

#hawks bnha #bnha hawks #hawks imagines #hawks x reader #keigo x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha fluff #hawks fluff #bnha fluff #hawks x reader fluff #bnha x reader fluff #mha x reader fluff

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 22 days

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s4 episode 2 thoughts

ah, this episode! i have heard it is very scary. so i’m curious to see how creepy it can be. usually what gets me the most is body horror, at least so far.

i’m really not a horror fan so i’m interested to see if this will push my limits or just be kinda silly. remember that evil AI in like s1 episode 8? and when it was unplugged it said “noooo, brad :(“ or something like that? yeah that one just made me giggle lol

(author's note after seeing the episode: what...)

(additional author's note: read to the end to see why i think this episode might be actually about the civil war's long-term consequences)

how far we have progressed since then!

let us begin!!!

we open with a storm and some scary music. pretty intense for the first few seconds. oh, now someone is giving birth. it is very dark and hard to see but it appears these individuals do not look like your average fellow off the street.

GAG! slurping noises are produced as the baby emerges. birth counts as body horror btw i do NOT make the rules. EUGH the umbilical cord…

(sorry y’all pls take no offense to those who have or desire children someday... it’s just something that makes me feel dizzy to watch but i support your dreams and choices i promise 🙏)

okay, but the baby is crying so that’s usually a good sign right? like better than a quiet baby, i think.

but a bunch of people are leaving after the delivery and i thought they would stick around to do things like look at the baby and see if it is healthy and stuff. but no. they’re leaving. where are they going...

they’re digging a hole?????? WHAT DA HELL. BABY IN THE HOLE??!!!!!! while someone cries terribly. OMG the grief…

WHAT THE HELL???

what have i gotten myself into……

intro time. always gonna think about that tweet regarding scully’s glamour shot on her ID. anyway just in case you forgot the truth IS out there.

so we see some kids in a place called home, pennsylvania, and they’re playing baseball. you know how children are, with their baseball. it’s as serious to them as a senator running a reelection campaign.

kid knocks the ball over the fence, and onto the property of “the peacocks”. the kids will NOT go get the ball, and instead find a spare. seems they prepared for this, or could maybe find a place that isn’t next to a very scary house to play ball, but i understand spacial constraints.

OH???? the kid is digging his foot in to go swing and…. BLOODY PUDDLE???? THIS MUST BE THE BABY FROM BEFORE????

he backs away as we see a tiny hand in the dirt. that poor kid omfg he must have been traumatized… and his sneakers were so bright and white…..

cutscene to mulder in the field after all the kids have fled! ah, mulder loves his baseball. in fact, he even sniffs it. he’s practicing his pitching LMAOOOO please be serious for FIVE minutes.

scully is measuring the hole while he does all this. in fact, he is not stopping. it just keeps going while she talks about the angle of the shovel.

she makes some quip about quitting the FBI and becoming a spokesperson for the ab roller, when he SHOVES THE BALL UNDER HER NOSE and says “smell that” THIS MAN IS SUUUUUCH A WEIRDO I LOVE HIM

“it’s perfume. eau de ball” (stupid little mulder smile)

very strong juxtaposition between baby death and a daydreaming mulder, but that is the sort of thing we have come to expect from this show. he seems enchanted.

WAIT! he’s talking about his sister… “all-day pickup games out on the Vineyard” and going down to the beach… no cell phones or faxes… oh man, this baseball has him talking about his family :(

“mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia” <- WELL GET HIM! it is true. he is always making calls and then abruptly hanging up.

feels weird to be smiling like a fool at my screen as these two talk about their lives after seeing the opening scene... but here we are!

“scully, you don’t know me as well as you think you do. you know my work demands that i live in a big city, but if i had to settle down, build a home, it’d be a place like this”

OHHHHH MY GOSH

1. he has though about settling down and having a life outside of his work, and this is such a character reveal, and i know he wants like a small army of children, and

2. i just KNOW those words are gonna come back and bite him when this place is revealed to be some sort of cult

she says it would be like living in mayberry which i had to google BUT: it is the town from the andy griffith show. ah, i see. so very quaint.

someone pulls up to see them and i paused at just the right time to see that mulder’s shirt is very baggy and living up to my URL, which is good because sometimes i worry it’s a bit TOO niche, but i made it after watching 4 episodes so i’m too attached to change it now. meanwhile, scully’s coat is wonderfully sleek and it’s a fun little contrast.

this is sheriff taylor, who says this is a very small town, and there are no real suspects. mulder asks about the peacocks next door, and the sheriff goes… quiet. apparently three boys lived there, and their parents were hurt in an accident. the sheriff and his team tried to administer care to the parents, but the boys took the bodies home??? that’s. odd.

so these peacocks have no electricity, grow their own food, and… are inbred. the sheriff says they are feeble and sad, and wouldn’t have any idea what they are talking about. which just makes me think they are the prime suspects.

the sheriff is saying that he loves his town, it is quiet and peaceful, and he knew someday it would change when something terrible happened. when he saw “it” in the ground, he knew that day had come. he seems convinced it’s an outsider but also he is purposefully ignoring all the evidence in the other direction. and he wants their help, but he doesn’t want anything to change.

(i see... this is about the terrible secrets of small towns and the wish to keep everything quiet and preserve an idyllic image rather than make meaningful change)

apparently they were recommended to help out when “the victim” was described, so mulder says that maybe they should go take a look.

and whew, when they cut to a bundle of blankets next to some cans of spam (that look like they’re partially covered to hide the branding?) it’s a lot. it's a lot to handle, for me, emotionally, but i guess that's a fairly normal reaction. the sheriff just pulled the baby right out of the fridge. we also meet a deputy named barney.

they shove poor scully in a tiny bathroom with just a sink in it to do her work, because they don’t want anyone else seeing the autopsy go down. the sheriff says they can’t do it in his office, because everyone knows he never locks his office door, and they’d start rumors. this whole small town thing is starting to seem quite oppressive.

mulder is also here in this tiny closet-like bathroom, and i can feel the claustrophobia from here. despite the lack of space, scully begins.

and she is taken aback, but not as much by the fact that it is a child but that said child “has been afflicted by every rare birth defect known to science”. mulder has his arm on the wall leaning in and watching in a way that is weird for the space.

we only see a few shots of the baby- thankfully, because i don't think i could handle seeing any more of it than we do- but it’s enough to make me go whew, shout-out to the props department for making something that looks like that, because that is how i cope with seeing things on this show that make me nearly faint

she is reciting the various things that this child has been born with, and mulder says that they can probably rule out murder, right? but scully says idk… it looks like it WAS murder, actually. dirt in the nose.

lord, they walk out after doing that and somehow don’t need to like, down some vodka or something to cope.

“imagine all a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then nature turns so cruel. what must a mother go through?” oh my gosh is scully gonna make me cry…

“apparent not much in this case, if she just threw it out in the trash”, says mulder, while they sit on a bench on he is manspreading like you would not believe. but i assume they are in a tough spot mentally so manspreading is permitted in this situation.

“i guess i was just projecting on myself”, she says, and oh my gosh does scully want kids someday…. stop i’ll cry!! i’ll cry.

“well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys” he says, rubbing her back.

and i can’t decide if this is funnier if he’s truly and deeply down terrible for her and suggesting subtly that HE could be that man, or if he’s just being a really good pal. so i’m gonna turn around both options in my head for a while and see which sticks.

“what about your family?” “hm? aside from the need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the mulder family passes genetic muster” (said with a celebratory flourish of his hands)

oh my gooooooosh i love them both so bad. he is SUCH a nerd. and his constant need to joke about the horrible things… even when they are approaching a serious topic, life ambitions and the desire to start a family, he has to go in there with some sarcasm to avoid getting Too Serious...

see? he has good genes. allegedly. go forth.

but he sobers up, points out that the child they had to just examine is a serious tragedy, and some likely very young parents are probably incredibly scared. but this isn’t really an FBI matter. 10 points to him for being serious for once.

she is brainstorming how such a thing could happen- “now, we all have a natural instinct to propagate” “do we?” <- ace mulder subtext i see you…

scully is convinced that the woman who gave birth to that child did it against her will, and mulder points out that kidnapping is a bureau matter… she seems determined to save someone caught in a horrible circumstance here, and i admire that about her, the sense of justice she has. she gets up to go investigate.

but he calls out: “hey scully- i never saw you as a mother before” <- OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD. i can’t even begin to process that right now. oh my gosh it seems like he has wanted kids SO terribly… but scully never really brought the subject up, which is fine because not everyone wants kids!! but what does it say about her character if she DOES…? i am analyzing.

i hope she is happy someday with whatever she chooses. music is playing as he looks after her. do not for a second think i missed that little musical flourish and gaze combo.

so, they go to the peacock's farm. where they find a chopped off pig’s head on the steps. it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, which must be a testament to the strength of bureau training.

mulder tries to do his usual “enter first and ask questions later” thing, but scully STOPS HIM, saying there is no probable cause.

WHAT!!! for once they did NOT JUST BURST IN!!??? their random entering of places is one of my favorite running gags and for once they didn’t. oh she is serious about this one…

so they just peek inside instead…. and then they get their guns and go inside after seeing a table covered in blood. oh…. the scissors from before…. yes, bloody table = probable cause

there is blood everywhere, and the footprint from the crime scene matches the footprint in blood on the floor. AND they find a bloody shovel. well!!! we know who did it now!!! but… where are they??

it is soooo dark and creepy as they make their way through the house. and someone is WATCHING THEM THE DARK as they investigate. BLEUGH we get an extreme closeup on their eyes…….

i am spooked.

now scully is on the phone with sheriff taylor, who is describing the warrants for the arrest of the peacocks he put out, while mulder slams a TV in their hotel room, trying to get it to work. typical mulder behavior

(i bet they felt a need to incorporate some silly moments to lighten out the heavy heavy heavy content, and honestly i didn't think it would work, but for me it kinda is. don't get me wrong, it's still VERY heavy, but it's not start to finish just trauma like we got in calusari, which stands out to me as being the darkest and least fun episode in the series so far. but let mulder sniff a baseball a little and smack a TV and our agents talk about having a family and it is slightly less overwhelming in terms of tone)

and she brings up the white cadillac they found there but he says get a lot of abandoned cars. damn, who is abandoning a cadillac...

what is this sheriff hiding…?

he pulls out his gun from a locked box, and seems deeply regretful. before he puts it back in the box… hmm…

back at the peacock farm. the brothers are packing what looks like clubs into the cadillac. and i notice how silent and scary the whole thing is… no music whatsoever.

meanwhile, mulder is doing a little dance to try and get the TV working, which scully is smiling at him in a way that implies long term affection and exhaustion. i want to get those gifs and save them upon my blog forever and ever.

he’s trying to watch the knicks game, but as she heads out, he says “goodnight mom”, and she looks… uncomfortable. i mean, it’s a weird thing to say, but still. he says a lot of weird things and she doesn’t always look sort of… hmm. idk, the only phrase that comes to mind is “cut to the quick”. i WILL be analyzing that.

she tries to leave and the lock is broken, so he places a chair underneath, which might do something but like… probably not a ton.

anyway, back to the cadillac, where the brothers are pulling out while listening to music. where are they going….

sheriff taylor is up late at night, “taking one last look around before it all changes”. oh, he loves his town… but it is rotten, like mulder says. AND HIS WIFE DOESN’T LOCK THE DOOR AS THEY COME IN!!! NOOOO!

the brothers are on the move, while scully sleeps and mulder watches a fuzzy documentary on hyenas?? okay. king behavior.

but back at the sheriff’s house, he can hear the brothers approaching, and pulling into his yard. oh no…. he looks out the window and the brothers aren’t there. so did they already get in…?

he’s going for the gun, he says, and they enter his house. and he’s got a baseball bat, but where is the gun! they have clubs! like the kind the bad guys in zelda use!!! they look very very dangerous!

he hears them approach as his wife is under the bed……… and he swings his bat at the intruder, but he is barreled right over, it’s three on one, and they beat him RIGHT AS HIS WIFE SEES THE WHOLE THING FROM UNDER THE BED. and they sniff and sniff and FIND HER UNDER THERE????????

what the fuck. who came up with this…….. that song is still playing as they get in their car and leave. i'm sure the song also has some significance to the meaning of what these guys are doing but tbh i have never heard it before so it's hard to unpack.

the deputy is at the scene of the crime the next day, smoking a cigarette, hands shaking in terror. he had come over to give the sheriff a report… and found them that way.

so the owner of the cadillac was found in baltimore, she had left it behind after running out of gas. this is not a lead in the slightest.

mulder is investigating the scene while scully pulls out files from the crime lab, and it is. well, it is very bad, to put it bluntly. the crime scene is horrific.

she says that the crime scene messed up the tests on the infant… but mulder proposes that… perhaps each of the brothers were the father? she talks about how babies are made and how that makes no sense, but he proposes that generations of inbreeding could maybe make such a mutation. but she says that isn’t possible, they’d need a female family member and there aren’t any left. hmm...

scully wants to try and trail them right now and go save whoever it was that was forced to give birth, but mulder points out that they are outnumbered and could further endanger the victim. what to do…? i don’t know the answer.

oh! the deputy barges in and says he’ll take them up there so it’s three against three. and they have guns, which should give them the advantage. okay. shoutout to the deputy.

mulder seems suspicious however, and says his suddenly entry was a bit “too chuck bronson for me”. so yeah, i had to google that too. this chuck fellow is the guy from machine gun-kelly. and NOT that sleazy rapper one. the more you know.

scully is confused, though, because why would they kill the sheriff? he didn’t even investigate them. unless they somehow overheard them talking about issuing the arrest warrants while in their house… and they are operating under the assumption that the brothers were not in the house when they were…. but we know that someone was in hiding!!!

OH! back to the house. one of the brothers declares he is hungry. we finally get a semi-decent look at them, and they are incredibly gruesome. someone is under the bed still….

and when they declare that they are “ready”, they strip down. they knew this day- and change- was coming, and all they can do is be ready for it. this is our home. and this is the way it’s gonna stay.

again, i ask, who came up with this……

the deputy and our agents are on the property, now. deputy wants to come in from the front and let them take the back. a brave thing to offer, but i am slightly suspicious of him. they have wired headsets on and bullet proof vests on, and he is going in.

so they’re approaching- scully and mulder in the field, the deputy out in front. scully is peeking through binoculars but she doesn’t see anyone inside!!! it has to be a trap!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! just as scully tells the deputy to not go in, he opens the door and an AXE SWINGS DOWN AND CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!

i am sorry for being suspicious of you, deputy. may you rest in peace.

mulder’s reciting his facts from the hyena documentary. they are witnessing something akin to prehistoric humanity. but he has an idea: divert them out of the house, so they don't have to deal with their traps. it is a good idea.

so they are sneaking into the pig pen, which had to be a pain to shoot. “scully, would you think less of me as a man if i told you i was kind of excited right now?” he asks as they try to get the pigs in a line to topple like dominoes or something???

“is there some secret farmer trick to getting these things moving?” “i don’t know!” lmaooo these city slickers...

they’re shoving pigs straight out the gate, and she’s trying to say some magic pig words from babe, which her nephew apparently watches all day. you know what that means...

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has a nephew!

but there are more pressing matters at hand than a lore reveal as one of the brothers emerges, falling for their piggy trap. we see them in daylight now, and it is an unsettling sight.

as the brothers try to herd the pigs back in, the agents sneak in, with mulder picking up a giant log to poke open the door. and it is a good thing he did that, because a trap descends right on the log that surely would have beheaded him as it did the deputy if not for the log taking the axe/weapon thingy for him. thank you for your service, giant log.

they sneak in beneath the log and close the door as if nothing went down. scully is yelling to see if anyone is in the house. they’re doing a sweep in excellent coordination. mulder mumbles “oh no” and i’m scared but he just picks up a newspaper that says elvis is dead and frowns 😭 his ass cannot be serious for more than five minutes

but something approaches!!!! they enter the bedroom and see photos of generations and generations of this family, with varying conditions. and at this moment mulder notices that someone is under the bed!!

he’s trying to say that they’re here to help, but whoever is down there is screaming, screaming at them to go away. so scully tries to move the bed, but she’s strapped to a board underneath the bed, and they pull her out and…. oh my gosh, she has no limbs, i think? it’s dark and hard to tell. they keep her under the bed..........

mulder says they’re going to get her home, but after a glance at the pictures on the wall, scully says that she already IS home. it’s mrs. peacock. the mother of the family that they thought died in the car accident!!!!!!

she is sobbing and they roll her back under the bed, with mulder having a horrific look on his face, unable to process what he just saw.

mulder is back on the prowl to find the other brothers. and he tasks scully with trying to convince mrs. peacock that she is the only one who can get “her boys” out of here without them being hurt. a mighty task, indeed.

she walks away, and he says “scully, w-watch your step” and he’s worried about her and i want to cry. oh!! we see a trip wire……….

so scully goes back to mrs. peacock, explaining that she needs medical attention, and the agents are here to help. she says that this is their home- why leave it? she has to see if the boys are okay.

and she lost her limbs in the accident that killed her husband. “sewed me up just like the family learned in the war of northern aggression” OH! so that is an WILD thing to say in pennsylvania. but it was at this point i thought i was putting the pieces together for an extended metaphor...

but she insists she felt no pain, and that no one in the family does. and they’re such good boys. scully points out they murdered three people, and mrs. peacock says she can tell scully has no children, but maybe someday she’ll learn the pride and the love “when you know your boy will do anything for his mother”

well i think you probably just made her swear that off forever!!! so!!!!!

the brothers see mulder in the window, and they start to run in. and as he holds one at gun point, another tries to bash in his head, so scully shoots him. but this isn’t enough to take him down! and the other one joins in on their attack, so it’s two against one tag teaming mulder!!! oh my gosh scully can you use your perfect aim???

yes, she can, but despite emptying the whole clip, they aren’t hurt!!!

they’re running and running and dodging a whole lot of terrible blows, and scully yells out that she has the mother! she trips over the wire and one of the traps falls RIGHT into one of the brothers, seemingly finally taking him out.

she notices marks on the floor, and when they go back for mrs. peacock, they can’t find the other brother or the mother.

so they put out an APB for them, saying that in time, they’ll catch them. but he counters with “i think time already caught them, scully”

cutscene to the cadillac- where mrs. peacock says that “sherman and george were good boys”- SHERMAN? a union name? edmund, sherman, and george…

it ends with mrs. peacock saying that there will be more peacocks, and they have to find a new home, make a new family to be proud of. she is in the trunk of the car while she says this.

okay so first thoughts: WHAT THE FUCK.

this episode definitely lived up to its horrific reputation. but i can’t figure out exactly what it is it MEANS!

beyond exploring the horrific topics of generational abuse, i feel that there is something a bit deeper going on here. i actually felt so compelled to see if i was imagining things that i went on the wikipedia page for the episode, which spoke of its themes on the american dream and the nuclear family. those themes i see for sure- how mulder was talking about settling down in a place like this, so quaint and quiet, how they started discussing their own desire for a family, and how every idyllic thought about what a family could be was upended on its head with the peacocks. that made sense to me. but...

that line- “the war of northern aggression”- was what the confederates called the american civil war to justify their rebellion. this is notable for the fact that this whole episode took place in pennsylvania, which was a union state- but somehow, they got so twisted up in their own hatred that they’re parroting the lost cause ideology over a century after the war.

the repeated motifs of “things being the way they are in a small town, in our town, in our home”- is that a symbol for the festering of post-civil war wounds? the inability for the war to make meaningful change when it came to the attitudes of the people on the losing side, who continue- even to this day- to spew their hateful ideology? the inbreeding metaphor- is that a representation of how hate begets hate begets hate, generation after generation, compounding and corrupting by the lack of intervention from outsiders who are too afraid to change “the way things are” and call out harmful behavior? and the newspaper from elvis’s death… is that another allusion to the family (or perhaps certain parts of the country) living entirely in the past, in addition to their lack of electricity and water, just stewing in their own hatred? even the name- home- reminds me of the “house divided cannot stand” rhetoric. is this talking about the rot of "back in the good ol' days" thinking?

or if not a metaphor for the country, and instead just the horror of abuse? of how people can feel that things are the way that they are, and so that makes it correct, no matter what the cost? about how warped perceptions of family can be made and shaped? and the fact that mrs. peacock went along with all of this, despite being the biggest victim of the family... is that to speak on the twisted nature of gender roles and how they are weaponized in familial abuse?

i have to clarify that i am not an expert on abuse in the slightest; i am just trying to work through the themes of what i just saw. you know how it is on this blog; i do my best to interpret the big issues, but also recognize that i can only see and comment upon so much.

i'm really, really curious to hear how you interpreted the episode, though. or how audiences have understood it in the past, or if it has ever been re-evaluated. what did the cast and crew have to say on it? i want to know.

man. this is gonna really make me ponder. i want to know. it was too purposeful to just be a “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” sort of situation.

regardless of the terror, i actually thought this episode was pretty good. it felt cohesive, not just a sideshow of horrible things to make you feel shocked. and we learned more about our characters- their ambitions in life, the possibility of a family someday dangling over their heads, and the terror associated with everything that could go wrong. i think there is always some fear about starting a family (i wouldn't know, but i do read books and stuff), and for scully to just now vocalize her thoughts on the subject and to immediately see this case- i can only imagine what it did to her thought process.

i thought the more light-hearted elements were working at the beginning- mulder's TV dance, baseball time, the merits of their genetics, family talk- worked well at first. but by the end it was just... damn. that was a lot. maybe that is the indication of a successful episode, that it can take you along heavy subject matter with a sense of character analysis and horror, but end with just terror.

i'm not a horror fan outside of this show, so the balancing of the heavy and the humor always baffles me a little bit. i don't know how other materials do it, so i can't really say if it could have been done better or worse. i think the important part though is that they don't turn the tragedy itself into the joke. it wasn't giving "point and laugh at the horrible peacock family!" it was finding humor in other situations, that ultimately still surrendered to the sober feeling of what humanity can do.

whew. this one is definitely gonna stick with me for a while, and i’ll need like 12 hours to formulate my thoughts into something comprehensible. but, you ask, did you like the episode?

yes! while i'm not sure i'd watch it again for funsies, i thought our agents had to confront some inner demons while also learning a lot about them together and individually, which is exactly the thing i want in an episode. i think it brought them closer and they understand each other better, and i think we're getting into some real juicy parts of their relationship. i can't stop thinking about him rubbing her back- how terribly devoted they are to each other, regardless of if either of them can put that into words. those dynamics of devotion that go beyond words- it's so special to me.

and sure, i'll take the bait, and daydream about them living together... i am not above fan service in the slightest. it is me, the fan, who loves to be serviced.

but again. i'm spooked.

#but PLEASE: tell me what you thought of this episode. like i'm BEGGING you.#did you like it? did you hate it? were you spooked? did you think it had a deeper meaning? is it the scariest in the show?#does this episode have wild behind the scenes lore? or a dedicated fan base? or a hateful fan base?#please share all of the things...#maybe someday if enough people would bother to read it i'll make a full post on the things i see in parallel to american history #so if you'd ever read that please just sort of yell at me #sometimes i read into things too much and maybe it stops being fun after a while so i need to know #sometimes when we go from A to Z and back in terms of tone my recaps feel all over the place in a way that doesn't really happen as much #when watching the show visually. some tonal things are hard to translate to written media.#anyway! i need to know #juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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capitalisticveins · 10 months

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SURPRISE D.A.M.N CREW GENERAL HCs ‼️

I don’t like making hcs on my phone but Friendsgiving yesterday rlly motivated me to just do it

— Caelum likes to chew on his shirt when he’s bored

— Dear has 5 umbrellas even though they live alone

— FL has no idea AI art exists

— Dear likes to buy Lasko ties

— Caelum thinks cats are adorable but is absolutely terrified of them

— Gavin is shit at golf, bowling, and basically every sport in existence except for gymnastics, cheerleading, and table tennis

— Huxley can flex his tits

— Lasko buys every fan except Lasko brand fans

— Dear hasn’t played Mario Kart before but when they first played with Lasko they decimated him

— Damien’s favorite kind of animals are the hairless ones

— Caelum can’t hopscotch

— FL can’t be trusted to go grocery shopping for people because they have shit willpower and no common sense they will buy the wrong brand of item you want and buy 3 packs of pizza rolls for themselves with the person’s money

— Huxley can’t jump rope properly because the rope can’t go around his body

— Damien has a schedule of what to wear and when. He wears specific shirts on SPECIFIC days of the week.

— FL has a child safety lock on their computer for Caelum and Gavin

— Everyone has to tell Damien where they’re going whenever they leave their houses

— Dear somehow got everyone’s number before Friendsgiving and asked everyone to point out Lasko’s use of Mahogany/Burnt Sienna on the letters

— Gavin isn’t allowed inside Max’s Rustic Pizza anymore

— If Damien would let him, Huxley would touch lava, like seriously slap it

— FL likes to dress up as Aang for Halloween

— Lasko and Damien are the only ones to own a bidet

— Huxley owns a mermaid dress

— Gavin owns a fur coat

— As a kid, Huxley was too shy to ask his moms to peel his oranges for him so he just sorta ate them with the peel on until he was 11

— Gavin is banned on tiktok

- and twitter

— Caelum’s wings flap like a hummingbird’s

— Huxley is the only member to buy proper sweet snacks. Lasko buys offbrand and Damien doesn’t buy sweets

— Gavin’s favorite cartoon character is Bugs Bunny

— Despite popular belief, Damien is willing to wear an itchy ugly christmas sweater

— Dear owns a border collie

— Lasko writes fanfiction

— Huxley’s luck is fucking amazing when he plays DND, so much so that it pisses off Lasko and now whenever they campaign with others he makes Huxley the dungeon master

— Damien doesn’t know how to skip

— Gavin can make his own alcoholic beverage at will

— FL isn’t from Dahlia. They’re from NY, but have never been in NYC

— Dear has a very strong opinion on Dasani. I don’t know if they strongly dislike it or strongly like it, but they feel very strongly about it.

— Huxley heard the news about the Summit online, saw it was hosted by Vincent and Lovely, recognized Lovely’s name, and went “wait a minute—”.

— Damien has thought about burning his baby pictures when Huxley found them.

— He attempted to do it when Gavin found them.

— FL has a sweet tooth and since Huxley is the only member to buy sweets, they sneak into his house and consume most of it.

After Damien moved in with Huxley he once woke up at like 2am to get a glass of water and saw FL hunched over sucking the frosting off of the mini cupcakes Huxley buys and chugging milk out of the container, their eyes were glowing in the dark and there was a ton of containers on the floor.

Damien went back to sleep without saying a word. When he woke up all traces of FL being in the house were gone and they don’t recall the night ever happening. No one believes him.

The only reference to the night happening is that all the snacks he saw FL eating were gone.

Lasko believes him but FL won’t let him tell Damien he believes him (it has happened to Lasko too and that’s why he buys offbrand).

— Gavin has accidentally killed someone with a rift.

— Caelum too but he doesn’t know.

— Dear is gonna buy Lasko rash ointment for Christmas with no malicious intent whatsoever.

— Damien owns the same amount of shoes as Milo.

— Gavin can’t swim. Gavin’s bad at a lot of things.

— Caelum can swim with water wings. Caelum’s good at a lot of things.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted freelancer #redacted gavin #redacted lasko #redacted damien #redacted huxley #redacted dear

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absolutebl · 2 years

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This Week in BL

Nov 2022 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 2 of 12 - an even better kiss this ep and some background on how both of them are broken and need each other, this is popcorn worthy melodrama, keep it up. WATCH ALONG HERE.

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 7 of 8 - musical montage boyfriends date for most of this ep. I’m not mad about it. Like a 50 min OnlyOneOf MV. Poor P9! I think I finally realized why I like this couple so much, they remind me (when they are at their best) a little bit of We Best Love. Oh do we have a Kdrama separation coming in the final ep? Please no.

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 8 of 10 - Nhai’s dad is pretty awesome, and I don’t mind that we had all this time with him and Ai chatting. Tiny concert full of crumbs, but blessed no actual singing! And the nothing continues to happen, and it continues to be shirtless. So I’m happy.

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 7 of 8 - Even in a ghost story, if it’s Thailand we’ve got to go to the beach and frolic. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute. I think what I like the most about these two is that they are so easily and casually boyfriends.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 6 of 12 - LeoFiat are still the only thread that interests me, coincidentally they’re getting all the old school tropes too. Bus trip, earbud sharing, shoulder sleeping and everything.

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 1 of 12 - This definitely has all the markers of a bully romance, not my personal favorite. SOTUS not withstanding. This can go into BohnDuen territory a bit too much for me. So far I don’t dislike this show, but I don’t like it either and it’s definitely one of those I wish I had the 10 second fast forward button on.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 7 of 12 - Enter the faen fatal and anxiety baby is jelly - doesn't look as good on him as it does on our dentist. But HOW does he still not realize how hard he is being flirted with? I take that back, this isn’t flirting, this is courting. Like ritual old-fashioned gentlemanly marriage-in-mind how many crowns do you want in exchange level courting. I can’t believe it’s gonna be over month before this show finishes. I’m tense now.

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 5 of 8 - This thing that Japan keeps doing with gay teachers killing themselves is not exciting to me. I really love how Michan is like “look after your own damn boyfriend and stop dragging mine onto ledges”... stupid teacher drama. But oh my goodness is this show achingly sad. This prevailing wistfulness between our leads about the future that they know they will never get to have. The way Michan is constantly listening and feeling for his Koichi’s heartbeat for a reassurance that is never going to come. The way he is reconciling himself with his own loneliness and returning to that solitary state, because he will never find a soulmate like Koichi again. It’s an aching extended wistful dry-eyed kind of yearning and pain. The counteraction to how good Japan is a thirst. This show is going to break my heart. In fact, it already has.

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 5-6 of 10 - It’s Strongberry so the blind date is with the boy. Yay! No bones about it (no boning either but hey-ho). Really this is a show about connection and loneliness, it’s kind of gut wrenching for something so silly. I got to say it, because no one else will, but how is uncle’s business staying in business? I’ve never seen a single customer.

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 7 of 10 - The date was RIDICULOUS - couple’s keychains and everything. Gah. These two are too much. And then the classic penultimate ep of doom.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate (Thai YT) 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Thai Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 16 eps - could be sad v worried

2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thai Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

I did a post on all of Strongberry’s offerings.

Restart After Coming Back Home (formerly Restart After Come Back Home) is now available on Gaga! Go and watch it, it’s wonderful. Now they just have to get Seven Days and my life will be complete and my subscription love for them eternal.

OnlyOneOf is really doing a BL.

I did my GMMTV 2023 predictions.

TutorYim (Cutie Pie crumbs) have been cast as the new leads in Middle Love (formerly Jimmy Tommy).

I think this is a really good choice, actually.

GAP the series (Sat YT) 1 of 12 has started, office set GL. WATCH IT! GL and this studio needs our support! (Also, the stairs are back!)

Coming to Viki: Love in the Air, ITSAY & IPYTM, Remember Me, and 2 new KBLs: The New Employee & Happy Ending Romance.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting this week:

Nov 24: Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) 8 - stars Karam (The Boss), Ha Jong Woo, and Leo (VIXX). Formerly Happy Ending Outside the Fence - thank fuck they changed the damn title.

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (Thai Sat WeTV) 11 - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov 2022 still to come?

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) tester trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This week’s earworm: Hello Hello FT Island, doing the blog post about Kdrama actors who’d never do BL made me think about Lee Hong Ki, which made me go back to their back catalogue. I forgot how fucking killer they are.

(last week)

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iguessitsjustme · 28 days

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I Saw You In My Dream Ep 5&6 Thoughts

Ya know. Some days you find yourself caught in a thunderstorm with sopping wet shoes, a full bladder, wasted CTA fare, and nothing but sheer willpower to get yourself home. Did that happen to me today? Don’t worry about it. I had the world’s teeniest umbrella. Pray for my shoes. Anyhway, I got home earlier than I expected so I can watch at least one episode tonight! Yay! I might even be able to catch up entirely. At which point I start my NEXT liveblog because I’m having fun with this. As always, under the cut:

I am very curious about why Ai is scared of the dark. I cannot wait to learn more. Mmmm delicious delicious backstory trauma is waiting for me.

Also that dream seemed terrifying. Well…nightmare. I too would have woken up screaming.

His trauma…is getting stuck…in the bathroom…in the dark? I must say. I could not have predicted that but it makes a lot of sense. Yu also being the cause makes sense. Yu was a bit of a shithead at first. But that would definitely be traumatizing.

Yu with the good advice. It’s okay not to have a dream.

Obsessed with this lighting. Just look at it.

Ooooo a different trauma was the cause of the fear of the dark. I love this show.

Well how am I NOT going to mention the fact that the reason that Ai is scared of the dark is because he trapped himself in a literal closet and now he’s afraid of the future and scared of what awaits him and burying his feelings for Yu so deep that they’re manifesting themselves in prophetic dreams. I mean I have to mention being trapped in the closet.

Sksjhgkjdg Ai sent Yu food. Those gay thoughts have permeated. It’s too late to go back now. Ai is in love with Yu and just hasn’t figured it out yet.

Badminton man’s name is Wann. Are we about to get a love triangle? What’s going on?

Yesssss Yu watching Ai give out his contact information is good. Yes. Very good. Also I noticed that Ai reached very far across to give it to him. Didn’t move any closer. Stayed as far away as he could. Poor badminton man.

What I like about this show is at its surface it seems like Yu is a lot more mature and confident than Ai but then the show gives you flashes of Yu being immature or insecure and you’re reminded that he’s not that much different than Ai. Those two balance each other very well. Ai is mature in ways that Yu is not and confident in ways that Yu is not. And vice versa. It’s very refreshing to see. They complement each other perfectly.

Also this was short so I’m gonna throw episode 6 in here too. Staying up late isn’t a great idea but it’s the choice I’ve made.

Yu is ready to murder Yo. He just wanted to go on a little vacation with Ai but alas. He could not admit that so now his brother is tagging along and also planning it. But I have little doubt that some sort of romantic tension and hijinks will ensue.

Why am I getting the weird arrangement of that lullaby again? There’s no sleeping currently happening.

OH. Ai was dreaming. About Yu tripping and bonking his head real bad. I get it Yu. Me too.

BADMINTON MAN. Oh poor poor Yu. It was supposed to be a trip for just him and Ai and now here comes this other man that’s got a crush on Ai. Get it together Yu. Ya gotta get it together. Ai already loves you. I mean he doesn’t know it yet, but he might if you say something about your feelings that I KNOW you have. I know it. With my soul. My entire being.

A man in love.

Also I have mixed feelings on the “I’ll drink it for them” trope but I like it here.

Drunken confession my beloved. Ing, I’m so proud of you baby. I don’t know what the outcome of this confession will be, but whatever it is, it will be better.

You dumbass

Waan I swear to god. Put that guitar away. I swear on GOD I will lose my mind. Put that thing back where it came from.

Waan I used to like you.

Stop this.

I suffer.

If you’re gonna do this. At least. Hit. The notes.

Man I wish I wasn’t caught up cause I want to keep going but alas. I am now caught up. But new episode tomorrow! I think. Yay!

#i saw you in my dream #i saw you in my dream the series #i saw you in my dream series #rae liveblogs #rae loveblogs i saw you in my dream

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ozimagines · 7 months

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Hello, if you were interested could you do some head cannons for a poly relationship with Chico, Miguel and reader/oc? Please ignore if this isn't to your liking and I hope you have a nice day. Thank you

Ok, love this already! Could definitely see Chico and Miguel in a dysfunctional but loving throuple.

(Think this is @wawamouse’s gif… I don’t have any of Alvarez and Chico)

Dating Miguel Alvarez and Chico Guerra would include…

So they both start hitting on you at once. They’re still rivals at this point.

Miguel starts giving you long stares that make you blush and winking at you from across the room, smiling to himself after

Chico is much more forward about it

“Ai, kid, you know what you’re doing to me?”🔥

Chico starts teasing you often; sometimes verbally, sometimes physically.

Miguel liked to stand really, really close to you, talking low so that only you can hear

“Lookin’ good today, mama/papa.”😉

Chico would play with your hair or pat your ass as you walk by

“Even better when you walk away, baby.”❤️‍🔥

They each start noticing the other flirting with you and make it a challenge between them.

“You still messing around with Popeye, here?”

“Fuck you, Alvarez, where you gonna go out? The loony bin?”

It makes you giggle

Now whenever one flirts with you, the other has to get his licks in

It starts to spark jealousy between them… which we all know is the best aphrodisiac.🥵

Chico caught Miguel one day in one of the storerooms, teasing him about his involvement with you

“Thought you’d be trailing behind y/n like a puppy, Alvarez, what happened?”

“Y/n have decided they wanted someone uglier. You should put your two cents in.”

They fight, Chico trying to overpower him physically, telling him to keep your name out of his mouth.

They struggle, Miguel reaching for Chico’s throat to throttle the life out of him

Chico finally gets him pinned against the wall, full body weight on his.

“Hard to flirt when you’re a dead man, huh?”

“You ought to know, pendejo.”🤬

It wasn’t until they realized they were standing there, an inch from each other’s face, jealousy coursing through their veins, that Chico found himself lurching forward to kiss Miguel on the mouth.

Miguel, confused but just as passionately wound up as Chico, fights back at first, until Chico’s hands make their way from holding his chest in place to wrapping them around his head.

Miguel kissed back, grabbing at Chico’s shirt and shoving his tongue into the man’s mouth.

It only lasts a minute, before they break apart, wordlessly staring at each other, hair a mess and face flushed

They’re both hard

They don’t talk for a week after that, not sure what to say or do.

You notice something different when you see them again

They’re still flirting with you, but they’re not even acknowledging the other exists

When they do, it’s with more malice than usual

“Get your cunt hands off him/her/them.”

“Ever go near y/n again, I’ll fucking kill you.”

The teasing has been replaced with threats

Chico makes the first move on you, mostly to run away for his feelings for Alvarez.

You’re out drinking, and his hands are all over you, squeezing you, tickling you.

He’s kissing your neck before you finish your first beer, tongue in your ear, breath hot and bothered.

You ask about Miguel and he shuts you down sharply, jealously rising again even if he isn’t sure which direction.

“Rather be out with that nutcase, huh?”

You all hang out around the same places, so Alvarez hears about you and Chico and decides to shoot his shot

“Y/n, c’mon. There’s something here, you can feel it, right?”

Then Chico starts arguing with him.

They both turn to you and ask the question.

“Well, which one of us is it?”

And you had to ask a question of your own:

“Wait… you guys aren’t dating?”😂

They’re both appalled by the idea, less so about being labeled as a ‘fag’, more so disgusted at the idea of dating each other.

They both deny it, faces turning red as they remember one week ago in the store room.

You’re modern, and you’ve already come to terms with your polyamory and non-traditional ideas of relationships.

You decide to share this with them, recalling a time where you dated a guy and a girl at the same time.

“Hot” -Chico🤣

You mentioned that sex and romance is complicated, touching each other their hands individually.

“So we both date you?” -Miguel

“Ideally… and each other if you’re game.”

They look at the other one, both shaking their heads and sneering at the other.

“No shot.”

“Absolutely not.”

You ask them to try it once. One date between the three of you.

Chico suggests a taqueria, so he can impress you by ordering in Spanish

Miguel suggests drinks at his favorite bar, San Cosimato, afterwards. He knows the owner and can get three beers for six bucks.

It’s weird, for everyone.

The boys aren’t sure how to interact when they’re not trying to kill each other

You take them both home, putting on some goofy movie (Hot Shots?) and begin to watch together. You’re sitting between them.

You start to kiss Miguel, rolling your tongue in his mouth.

Chico starts to get jealous so you start jerking him off.

You ask them, gently, to kiss each other for you

They’re resistant at first. Miguel places a hand on Chico’s thigh which he accepts and holds.

The boys lean into each other, lips on the other.

It’s… comfortable. Normal. Natural, even.

“Ah, puta, you’re biting my lips!”

“Hmm… do something about it, Mi-chael.”😘

They really put on a show for you… you could even swear they were enjoying it lol

You move it to the bedroom, all rolling over each other, kissing and biting indiscriminately

They don’t fuck each other at first; you’re the dividing line lol

But they kiss over your body (eiffel tower)

After you fall asleep, they talk, awkwardly, but you hear them as you doze off

“This… didn’t suck, right?” -Chico

“…not really, no.” -Miguel

When you wake up, you’re sandwiched between them, head on Miguel’s chest with Chico sending hot breaths onto your shoulder.

You see them holding hands over you… though they swear you didn’t 🤣

You all sort of settle into a routine after that

You’re both “theirs” but it takes a while for them to recognize the other as their partner too lol

It’s not until Miguel has a few too many conversations with Beecher that Chico throws a temper tantrum.

“No fine, be with him then. I don’t care”. -Chico said… caring very much.

You both have to show him “how much you love him” that night 😅

Miguel is the mom of the relationship

He calls you and Chico the “dumbass twins”

“Chico, y/n, I love you both very much… but there’s no way this turns out good.”

Chico is a Phoebe and Miguel is a Monica

“I know you know how to use a hamper.” -Miguel

“Yeah, I throw it on the ground and it magically appears in the basket.”😈 -Chico

Movie nights are usually two hours to decide what to watch

You can never decide whether to go with Miguel’s action or rom com suggestion or Chico’s ever present horror or r-rated comedies.

(Except Chico watched Titanic because you and Miguel love it so much.)

(“I’d freeze in the water for you, y/n.” -Miguel)

(“Awwww.” -you)

(“What about me?”🥺 -Chico)

(“You fucking freeze to death.” -Miguel while holding Chico’s hand.)

Chico’s always in charge of scooping ice cream in this throuple

Partially because he packs the bowl more than anyone else

Partially because it’s funny to watch his ego wilt as he chips away at too frozen ice cream. 😂

“I… *grunt* got this…”

“Yeah… you got it, alright.”

Throuple costumes are hard for you guys and it’s even harder to convince them to dress up.

“But like, hear me out: Luke, Leia, and Han!” -you, exceedingly proud of this idea

“They’re all white!” -Chico, identifying the flaw in your plan

“…two of them are siblings.” -Miguel, resident single brain cell on duty

Chico sees himself as the protector of you two

(Miguel proves a little easier to protect without Chico always trying to kill him😂)

After a few months of dating, the boys hold hands in public, kiss in bars, and argue like an old married couple

Miguel wants kids, Chico is a little hesitant but once you see him around kids, you know he’d be a good dad

They propose to you and to each other

It’s a little weird logistically lol

Surprising everyone, Chico proposes first.

“Listen, I know this is a little… non-traditional… but I want you. Both of you. I want you forever.”❤️

He’s got two bands for both of you; an old Mexican coin he has pressed into a ring for Miguel and a copper ring made from a penny you threw in a wishing well on one of your dates

He’s a surprising man

He’s got an arm around both of you

Just a man who knows what he wants.

Miguel wants to surprise Chico and so do you

So you team up to create the perfect night for Chico.

When he gets off of work, you have his favorite meal (arroz con pollo… so what, he’s a simple man😅)

His favorite drink (Jose Cuervo Tequila)

And his favorite movie (Saw VI)

He asks if he’s dying🤣

You both sandwich him in a hug and surprise him with his ring: a sleek gold band with an inscription:

Yours, Always and Forever

You fuck like bunnies that night

Chico’s got a lot of kinks

Miguel is a little more reserved but will try anything once

Chico’s brand of love is possessive:

“Yeah, baby, you’re all mine.”🥰

Miguel is more traditionally romantic

“Mmm… let me know if this hurts you.”🥹

You like both; it’s like dating a chocolate & vanilla swirl, best of both worlds

Something they both have in common

When they love, they love HARD

“We love you, y/n.” -Miguel

“Till the end of time, chula/o.” -Chico

You’re in love, and how can love be wrong?

Bonus: You often go on ice cream dates: everyone gets to customize their experience. Miguel gets vanilla and strawberry, with chocolate sprinkles and cherries. Chico, resident hellion, gets coffee, mango, and pistacchio with gummy bears, popping strawberry boba, and graham crackers. Miguel can’t even watch him eat it😂 You get a root beer float with three straws… and Chico always spikes it🥲

#hbo oz #oz meme #chico guerra #miguel alvarez #omg loved writing this one #watching them come to terms with their love for one another #easily one of my favorites to write #I had like eighteen more things I could have written on #may do a part two of more mundane life things

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chaigirly · 8 months

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C ai Characters 2

The Quarry

Jacob Custos

You aint my friend

Don’t know shit about where I was made

And I sit on the curb

I don’t know what I’m doin’

Nick Furcillo

You said you had my back

Might want a kiss before the end of this song

Dylan Lenivy

And at night, turn into a monster

Max Brinly

Did you get what you deserve?

I know it’s not your fault

Kaitlyn Ka

For a girl who will never know it’s about her

Abigail Blyg

Only love can hurt like this

Emma Mountebank

Take me down into your paradise

She got that rich girl LA vibe

Red Dead Redemption

Sadie Adler

She might let you stay but just for the night

I don’t want you to leave

Forget about your boyfriend

Run run runaway runaway baby

Arthur Morgan

Everyday is summertime with you

I know about whispers

I need you here to stay

Don’t waste your time, go home

Mary-Beth Gaskill

It felt so wrong, it felt so right

And she means everything to me

Javier Escuella

He’s down at your alter

I wanna show you all the finer things in life

Dutch van der Linde

I know you want me baby

John Marston

But I’m in the trees, I’m in the breeze

Abigail Roberts/Marston

Oh you would find her in a Polaroid picture

Lenny Summers

When does a ripple become a tidal wave?

Spiderverse

Miguel O’Hara

Clandestine meetings and longing stares

Yes of course I will my darling

DC Universe

Jaime Reyes

Am I allowed to look at her like that

Resident Evil

Leon Kennedy

Look at me, look at me. You looking?

Five Nights At Freddys

Mike Schmidt

Hard not to fall for you

Let me hold you like a baby

The Last Of Us

Ellie Williams

“She likes a boy,” I’m not a boy

How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay

I’m young but my mind is well beyond my years

I need you more than I want to

It’s a craving not a crush

Abby Anderson

Stop calling me your bunny

So it’s best that we move fast and keep quiet

Joel Miller

You’ve been fighting the memory all on your own

Dairy of a Wimpy Kid

Rodrick Heffley

When you said, “Hello.” I knew that was the end

Yes I was running far away

Take you downtown

One random night when everything changes

Call of Duty

Simon Ghost Riley

Oh I’m sorry, sorry that you love me

Imma fight a man tonight

Valeria Garza

Love me like you

Nothing fucks with my baby

YouTube/Twitch

Caseoh

Welcome to my candy store

Oh who is she?

She met me on the tour

And it may seem like she’s crazy

Life is Strange

Chloe Price

Smoke cigarettes when she couldn’t sleep

Isn’t she lucky?

To me you’re all I am

You give me butterflies

You got me in the back of your car like a star

Max Caulfield

Are you falling in love with a feeling?

If that’s what you like, I’ll do it

Until Dawn

Matt Taylor

You think you’re cooler than me

The Boys

Homelander

It’s the way you walk, the way you talk

Disney

Dimitri

In love with the one who can break my heart

The Hunger Games

Peeta Mellark

She only wanted to lie beside me

Raised the kids the very best she can

Coriolanus Snow

You belong to me

She was a showgirl but that was 30 years ago

My hands on your knees, I’m Angelina Jolie

Johanna Mason

Can we talk about this later?

The Legend of Korra

Korra

I could do this all day

Eyes don’t lie, say you’re mine

Ghostbusters

Phoebe Spengler

I swear I fell in love right there

Don’t care about grades just call me your lady

Who you gonna call? GHOST BUSTERS

How do we rewrite the stars?

Seeing stars in your eyes

You’re always in my brain and I take the blame

Egon Spengler

Oh my good looking boy

The Fall Guy

Colt Seavers

Girls don’t call and they never tell you why

In the back of the nightclub sipping champagne

Arcane

Jinx

I’d let the world burn for you

Blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff

Would I run off the world someday?

Walked in the store right behind me

I bet they planned it all out, like the shows

Caitlyn Kiramman

No I wouldn’t do a thing like that

Sevika

Are we best friends? Are we something?

#the quarry #red dead redemption #spiderverse #dc universe #resident evil #five nights at freddy's #diary of a wimpy kid #call of duty #the last of us #life is strange #c ai character catolog #the boys #until dawn #disney #the hunger games #the legend of korra #ghostbusters #the fall guy #arcane

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storiesofsvu · 8 months

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happy thursday! thoughts under the cut!

Okay, here we go! we’re back!! We’re BACK!!

And for some reason citytv is finally airing them in a more correct order, though mine thinks I’m on the east coast and is starting now. Mothership first so we all know I might not pay too much attention.

Woof what a cold open…

Jesus christ why is it always Hudson U

Who’s this new detective? Did we get rid of one of the white men I didn’t like? Lol. Oh.. we did… good lol.

Det shaw is so fucking hot.

Nov 10th?? Don’t they usually keep the time stamps pretty accurate to when they air?

Uugggghhh Samantha I have missed yoooouuuu. Glad to see she’s handling the arraignment herself this time, let’s give her more of that pls.

God this chloe girl’s annoying

That stiletto tape holder on sam’s desk came from rita, I know it in my soul. (it also came with a custom pair of manolos…)

Oh shit…

Yeah I dunno how I feel about this new cop either…

Ugh I just love that maroon suit

Svu time

BABY BENSON!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I like starting s25 off like this.

Loving that liv is back in her black nail polish era. It’s prime

Velasco being the one of the squad without his own kids/being the youngest and being the one dunked with babysitting duty and loving every moment of it is perfection.

Omg all of them fighting over the baby. lol.

Where tf are all the rest of the carisi’s? or amanda’s mom? Isn’t she in nyc now??

“maybe we could adopt each other…he could use a brother, too many sisters LOL omg noah

I’m not saying liv should’ve like, pulled a u-turn and immediately gone after the van, esp with noah in the car, but she knew in her gut something was off, memorizing a plate number probably would’ve been a good idea.

ALSO WHILE WE’RE HERE. I’M FUCKING SALTY ABOUT CHURLISH. WHAT THE FUCK. (especially if there isn’t a single mention of her in this episode/where she’s gone.)

Oh Velasco… baby boi, I have missed you

Does Bruno have a medical alert bracelet on? And if so is that his or is that the actors?

Okay, at least Velasco was smart enough to keep hands on the perp instead of letting him run off like they normally do.

What the FUCK is going on?

Why am I still watching this show? LOL

Okay, see, this is the kind of amanda content I want to see, her popping up every so often in her professor role/mother/wife role, or just showing up to give carisi lunch kinda thing, not full time, not back on the force cause ESP after having a third kid there’s no way she’s coming back to be a cop.

The way olivia didn’t even bother to run cause she knew he wasn’t going far LOL, just all “bro, you’re gonna hurt yourself, and don’t make me hurt you…”

Okay but is olivia wearing the bracelet that she found in the van? (cause that should be in an evidence bag) or is she wearing one from one of the dolls? (cause that should also be evidence? And is lowkey weird…)

Have I just missed them or have there not been any/a lot of the dun-dun’s/time stamps, cause like…how long has madi been missing? How long have we been looking for her cause there’s no way that they kidnap her, make her into a doll, and make THAT many of them and produce them/that many people bought them in like a day or two….

Okay… we’re lacking detectives, with muncy and churlish gone is this new blonde gonna be joining the team? Will she last more than one season on the show?

God the politics side of jobs like this are infuriating

Okay imma assume that we’re gonna retouch on the case next week? Cause that REALLY wasn’t a solid wrap up, like I get the metaphorical idea to it, but that coulda been done so much better.

Episode was meh overall.

OC time, yay! It really is playing them in order. Now if only the subtitles would fucking work. I’m so congested too, that’s not helping lol.

This theme song is the best out of all of them and I will die on this hill.

Oh right, we’re diving into fucking AI shit. It honestly better end up being a bad thing cause AI will destroy the film industry…

Omg bobby. I love you so much. God the cast of this show is all so incredible.

“god I love not being the boss” LOL

“welcome back detective ive missed you too. Can we take a breath and try that again.” Bell.. seriously… I fucking love you. How v Donnelly of her.

I absolutely love that bell isn’t afraid to call stabler on his shit. Like she is constantly reminding him that *she’s* the boss and we stan her for it.

The writing on this show is SO much better jfc. Jet all “that’s artificial intelligence.” To stabler lolololol

UNDERCOVER JET IS SO FUCKING HOT OMG. And like… ALWAYS not just now, but woof.

If they don’t start diving into more of bell’s personal life this season I will riot. Like, we’ve got out first main cast openly queer character on the show and all they’ve done is break up her marriage and family and rarely touch on it again. Like, does she even get to see her son? (son, right lol) does she ever talk to denise? Are they friendly? Can we PLS see her start to branch out and date again to get some fucking representation cause fuck knows we’re not getting it anywhere else in this universe.

Omg not the piece of fucking duct tape over the apple logo on the back of this dude’s computer LOL.

What was that little shoulder touch? And why was there so much focus on it?? Sus

“you’re just gonna walk into that beehive” ma’am… this is Elliot we’re talking about. You’ve known him three years now, you should know he likes to play by the seat of his pants. AND THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO LOOKS IN CHARGE?! DUDE. You’re dumb

Bobby and jet comforting each other and finding that comfort/coping with jamie’s death by fucking each other honestly makes perfect sense.

Okay, as much as I don’t ship eo and absolutely do not want it to be canon, I am thankful for more little mentions of the characters on the other shows. Like it didn’t make sense to bring back Elliot and have all the crossovers that we got and then pretend like they didn’t talk or keep up with what the other was doing in the eps that weren’t crossovers.

Okay. Now that’s done.

Fun fact: randall, this brother that we’re going to meet I now assume last week is being played by Jamie Gray Hyder’s husband. Cause like, I was suuuuper surprised to see Jamie at the 25th anniversary party, like, truly shocked that she would show up until I found this out LOL.

Honestly… SVU was the weak link of the premiers. If we had gotten more cute personal moments at the beginning with the baptism then it would jump up but we barely got any. It really seemed like a two part-er episode and I don’t think it is, or at least not one that will be continued next week. Either way, it was kinda meh.

#law and order #law and order svu #law and order oc #law and order organized crime #law and order: svu #law and order special victims unit #svu #olivia benson #spoilers #law and order spoilers

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cdyssey · 11 months

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The Fall of the House of Usher (1.02 Reactions)

“Whole damn office still as white as cream cheese in case you’re wondering if we’re invading.” Get him, Dupin fjsndnsn.

Appreciate that they’re tackling the utter insidiousness of Big Pharma in Ligadone.

Perry’s ghost just behind Dupin jfc. They’ve used that open threshold to superb effect so far, continually priming viewers to look into it. Something’s going to be there, and if there isn’t, you best be ready.

THE SHOT OF PERRY LYING IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF NAKED BODIES. MAN SKQKQKANA.

was that a two second clip of someone crushing drugs with a butt plug

yes

Perry threatening to stab his partner just because he ate his eggs is so fucked up.

Perry realizing the toxic nature of the nest egg investments is a nice touch. He’s seen the control its exerted over his siblings, but damn, you can hear it in his voice, how he still wants it anyway

That pink and silver suit on perry is wonderful holy shit

GUCCI CALIGULA WOQOKQOFIF

Frederick, like Tamerlane, is resentful towards the “bastards,” and it’s so painful and horrible and raw.

Sure, all of them are shitheads, but they’re shitheads

sorry to prospero, but if I saw Carla Gugino in a beautiful red trench coat standing on a condemned building and silently warning me of my impending folly, I’d fold.

T’Nia Miller is so goddamn hot. The Victorine fits are immaculate.

“You’re basically 80% cum, I can fucking smell it on you.” My god andksndnjesjns.

Leo encouraging Perry is the first genuine display of sibling affection that we’ve seen in the entire show.

My god @ perry’s bloodied ghost inching closer and closer. I have to turn this down bc I know there’s gonna be another goddamn jumpscare

I know flanagan’s gonna do it

FUCK ME.

rod pushing vic because her heart mesh might have helped in. awoof

Rod coming home to his family. Hghshshsgs. The way Annabel—even though she’s tired and clearly spent—is attentive both to Rod and baby Tamerlane. And SEEING Freddy and Tam as children, growing up in a small but loving home, and knowing who they’ve become now. Fucking wrenching.

“Vomit.” QKQKNSNANANA. God, I love Madeline

“The kids are healthy and happy, we’re together. Money isn’t everything. We’re okay.” Annabel Lee knows that this—family and health—would have been enough. Also, Annabel’s actor vaguely reminds me of Jessica Chastain

“Hell, an algorithm that could write movies and TV shows.” ☠️

Madeline talking to Lenore about her AI is the warmest we’ve ever seen her; she smiling; there’s a sparkle in her eye. Mary McDonnell is so good.

The office design for the various characters is insanely good. Camille’s vs. Rod’s vs. Madeline’s are all representative of their characters as they’ve been presented to us so far.

LENORE WALKING IN ON JUNO AND ROD GOD AKQNSNSN. Creepy old man

Morelle alluding that Freddie can be unpleasant to Perry… and we saw some of that, with his anger at Perry at that meeting.

“The perfect pussy, if that’s your speed, or both.” Perry may be a hedonistic shithead, but he also said bi rights

I know I’ve said this about all the usher women, but Tamerlane is so hot

OH MT GODSANAOLQAKKAKAKQJDOWKWNSOWKWKSKJDIDWKWK

WATCHING SOMEONE ROLEPLAY HER FUCKING SELF BEING AN INTIMATE AND LOVING PARTNER AND GETTING OFF TO IT

FUCKED UP FUCKED UP I LOVE HER FUCKED UP

IT ISN’T EVEN SEXY TALK. IT’S LITERALLY JUST POSITIVE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

I WANNA STUDY HER. I WANNA LOOK AT HER UNDER A MICROSCOPE!

Imao, at Camille liking BILLT when no one is around

Holy FUCK, at Camille and her assistants

morelle at the clubbbbbb

Jfc, perry even having cameras on the fuck rooms.

HIM GOING TO BLACKMAIL PEOPLE WITH THE FOOTAGE. DICKHEAD!!

he’s def my least favorite usher kid so far

The music choices for the club scenes have been fucking excellent

CARLA GUGINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. AWOOGHDHABABABA

She’s giving him extensive warning, one last out. Prospero has had opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to go back.

“You are consequence, Perry. And tonight, you are consequential.” Awofjdndnsns.

“We could have had fun, you and me.” There’s sincerity there and also sadness. She can see that Perry has already made his choice.

“I’ve always liked the bad boys. Got a weakness, I suppose.” GODD QKQNNSNAKAOQKQNSA.

Carla’s char warning the waitstaff. Oh, that’s so good.

OH, HER WARNING MORELLE TOO AUGNHHHHH

GO, MORELLE. GO.

AND SHE DOESN’T.

HOLY ACYUAL FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

JESUS FUCKING ACTUAL CHRIST

FUCK

THE SOUND DESIGN OF THE FUCKING WET FLESH JESUS

KISSING HIM HGHHSNANQKPQMAKSKAMAM

IUNNFMWLQKQKQKSKSIWKWOWNS

well

that is certainly one of the most FUCKED UP things I have ever fucking seen

(Perry's death echoing the shot of him at the beginning of the episode is chef's fucking kiss)

#maggie blogs #the fall of the house of usher #s: tfothou

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steampunkagumon · 3 months

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Love Making Music (Grayson x reader)

AO3 link

(document originally created November 7th, 2023)

CW: Incomplete work aka only offscreen/implied/referenced s3x. Implied size kink but it’s treated as a joke. Might also count as object insertion but idk it’s kinda part of the punchline.

With another game under your belt for the night, you started scrolling through your phone, trying to find the perfect song. Joystick? No, too vulgar. Not to mention, anatomically incorrect. Midnight Romeo? Better, but maybe too upbeat. Careless Whisper? Wait, no, no way! Done. to. death!

This had been a long time coming. You weren’t too worried about tonight being “perfect.” Whether this was your first time, or his, or if either of you had done anything like this before- Heck, even if things didn’t go that way, you knew tonight would still be perfect.

Yeah, this one!

Smokey Robinson’s Baby Come Close played softly through your phone speaker as you leaned over Grayson’s shoulder. “This right here… is lovemaking music,” you proclaimed, wiggling your eyebrows at him, only half-joking. His eyes widened, and he snickered at you for a second, before completely breaking down into laughter.

“This?” he huffed. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no,” he went on, snatching your phone off the bed and turning the music off. Handing it back to you, he stood with a “hup” sort of sound. “Gimme a sec. I swear it’s around here somewhere…” After rummaging through a couple drawers, he held up the case to a Playstation 2 game called Rez. “Ever heard of it?”

“Yeah,” you replied, “it’s like an old music shooting game, right? Seemed kinda boring.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, holding up a little black box. He tossed it to you and plugged it into the console. “Put that in your pants, and I’ll show you otherwise.”

You looked back and forth between Grayson and the device in shock. “This thing? In my pu-... Th-there’s no way it’ll fit!”

Grayson chuckled. “It’s not supposed to “fit,” silly, you sit on it.”

“Oh. I guess that makes more sense. What’s it do, anyway?”

“You’ll see~ But on the other hand, isn’t it obvious? Trust me, baby-” He cracked his knuckles and scooped up the controller. “Just sit back and watch the magic happen.”

* * *

“So, what’s this game about, anyway?”

“Basically, you’re a hacker in something called the K Project. The central AI, Eden, gets infected with a virus that makes her question her existence, and she goes into emergency shutdown. So you’ve gotta break through security, delete the thing, and turn her back on.”

“Turn her on, huh?”

“Don’t even start,” Grayson scolded. “Or I’m shutting it off.”

♩♩ bzzt bzzt

“Whoa!”

“And that thing you’ve got there’s called a Trance Vibrator. Still can’t believe you’ve heard of the game, but not this old thing. It was a… a pretty big deal, back when the game came out.”

“I can see why,” you replied through a shuddered breath.

“Pretty cool, right?” Grayson asked with a spit-eating grin. “See, my fingers are working the controls, but in a way,”

The vibrator continued to pulse in time with the music.

“They’re also kinda working you.”

“This- this is…” you huffed. “This is amazing!”

Three- sev- five- three- one-

As the in-game dialogue spat out random numbers, the intensity of the vibrations suddenly skyrocketed. “Oh god!”

Grayson’s smug demeanor faded in an instant as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, it’ll do that whenever I beat a level. It’s not too much, is it? We can stop if you need. I mean, on the bright side, it’s pretty sporadic right now, but-”

“No!” you interrupted. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine, just… Wow…”

“If you say so.”

Oh yeah, this was gonna be a long night…

#digi-destiny #grayson mcknight #x reader #rez ps2 #1x years later

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little-fics · 3 years

Text

Bee

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Stucky x Reader; platonic!uncle!Tony

Summary: Reader is teetering the edge of a slip when her buddies Sam and Clint are mean to her, daddy stucky to the rescue

Warnings: age regression, scary bees, bottle, pacifier, anxiety, a little violence, angry!Steve (not at you), mean!sam and mean!clint, I may have missed some, read at your own risk

Word count: 2.2K

A/N: I had fun with this one! I hope you like it!

Disclaimer for my blog!

Life with Bucky and Steve was great, you'd officially been together for about a year, and they'd been your daddies about half that time. You didn't always regress, just when the world got a little too big and you needed to leave it all behind. The avengers didn't know about your coping mechanism, at your own request, save for Tony who has programmed Friday to detect when you're little and were about to do something that babies shouldn't do, such as cooking or showering because babies makes messes and get hurt. It was something you'd kept private and to yourself for a long time, and it took months to feel comfortable enough to talk with Steve and Bucky about it. You weren't always feeling little, and had the capability of being a very vital part to the team, but on your days off, it was easy to find yourself slipping into that headspace.

That's how you got to sitting on the balcony, slowly slipping into that headspace after a difficult mission. You'd woken up between Steve and Bucky, crawling out of the bed quietly, not quite feeling small but you know it's coming. Clint and Sam find you outside, sunbathing and staring at the clouds. Sam is the first one to come outside, Clint following close behind.

"Mornin' sunshine," Sam sits next to you, Clint moving to the other side of you, relaxing in his seat, Sam holding out a glass to you, "want some lemonade? I know that coffee makes you jittery on your days off." You take the glass, smiling at the yellow straw poking up from the top, "Thank you! And a straw!" You twiddle with it gently, pulling it out to take a sip. "Gosh," your shoulders sag and your head leans back in ecstasy, "Clint's lemonade is the best, thank you." Clint pointedly looks at Sam, smug, "Why thank you Y/n, I'm blushing." Sam scoffs, "You wouldn't have even made it if I didn't beg!" Clint shrugs, "I made food," he looks to you, "speaking of," he has you a plate with a sausage and egg biscuit. You tentatively take it from him, "Oh thank you, are you sure?" Clint laughs, leaning back in his seat, "Yeah, honey, me and Sam already had some."

Once you finish your biscuit, you're back to staring at the pretty sky, sipping on your lemonade listening to Sam and Clint bicker back and forth. A bee comes out of nowhere, eliciting a small yelp from you and you're quickly standing from your seat. They're laughing, which hurt your feelings, the fear of the bee causing you to slip fully. You try to go inside but hear Sam speak to the AI, "Friday, lock patio doors under code Falcon," before you make it to the door. When you pull on it the door won't budge. "Sam," your voice is meek, "that's not funny," you whine and shake the door again, getting nervous over the buzzing around your lemonade on the table. "Friday, open the door." Clint laughs again, "It's just a bee, you've been shot before and you can't handle a bee?" A tear slips down your face, and you feel your heartbeat pick up.

You shake on the door, trying to get away from your mean friends, wiping a tear away, "Open the door Sam." He's laughing, he thinks this is funny, "It's just a bee, it'll be gone in a minute Y/n, it's fine." You shake the door more violently, and it's clear Sam wasn't going to open the door. You bring your hand to the bracelet that lays around your wrist, a fail safe if something is wrong, to immediately notify Steve and Bucky that you need them. You find the tiny sun charm, pressing the tiny button that notifies your daddies of your state of mind and that you're in trouble, different from the other charm, a moon, who notifies your boyfriends of an emergency.

Bucky is the first one to hear Friday, "Mr. Barnes, Mr. Rogers," he groans groggily, "Friday, it's too early for this, what is it?" Bucky reaches over to find just Steve, no tiny baby to love on as he hears Friday once more, "I am sorry Mr. Barnes, but it seems munchkin has requested your presence with signs of distress." Bucky's eyes snap open at the use of the programmed name for when you're in your little space, throwing the covers off and slapping Steve's shoulder. "Bucky, what the-" Steve stops when he realizes that Bucky is already out the door, he's quickly behind him, not bothering to put a shirt on, as Bucky hadn't.

"Friday, where is munchkin?" Bucky spits, FRIDAY speaking up once more, "Munchkin is on the patio with Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barton." Their brows crunch together in confusion, Steve finally speaking up on their way to the patio, sleep still heavy in his voice, "Is something wrong?" Bucky shrugs nervously, "Friday said she was showing signs of distress." The system speaks up once more, "That is correct. Munchkin's heart rate seems to be elevated and she is showing signs of high stress. She notified me by her emergency contact Sun Ray." At this, Bucky and Steve speed up, trying to get to you as quickly as possible.

The bee is still there, attracted not only to the lemonade, but the brightly colored pajamas keeping its attention as it flies back and forth between you and the lemonade. When it flies towards you, you hide in the corner of the patio, screaming, running to the other corner to hide from it when it follows you, a tear streaking down your face. Sam sees the stray tear, immediately his stomach sinking while you're piddling with your bracelet, ignoring the tears on your face, not hearing Sam when he stands and calls out gently, "Friday unlock the doors." Sam's in front of you, "Let's go inside, come on." When he reaches for you, you flinch back from him, causing his heart to break a little. You're now frantically pushing the button on your charm.

"Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes, munchkin has sent a distress call 13 times, up to 17, 23," and then they're at the doors to the patio, slinging them open.

Bucky takes in your appearance, you look afraid, tears freely streaming down your face, now surrounded by Clint and Sam, who are violently moved by Bucky. He's lifting you by your thighs, bringing them around his waist, glaring at Sam and Clint before carrying you inside. When you're back inside, feeling the rush of AC, you let loose, heavy thick tears falling with sobs. "Shhh my little bunny, I've got you."

Steve remains on the porch, staring at a shell shocked Sam and Clint, "What happened?" They shrug, "It was just a bee, we didn't know it would scare her so bad." Steve rolls his eyes at the men, following Bucky back to your room. When he gets there, you're straddling Bucky on the bed, hands tucked under you, fists balled up tightly, hiccuping sobs. "'S mean," Bucky is rubbing your back, shushing softly while you try to explain what happened, "wouldn't let me 'nside daddy, I try." More sobs erupt from you, Steve's brow furrowing, wondering what you meant.

"Friday, show me what happened with munchkin on the patio before Sun Ray was activated." He watches as the TV screen starts playing the scene, fury creeping up in his bones, while Bucky continued to console you, but matching the fire Steve has in his eyes. Steve saunters out of the room when the TV shuts off, heading straight for Sam and Clint. Bucky holds you closer when you whimper, "Oh doll, dada will be right back, he's just gonna go get you something to drink." You continue to sob, you refused to take your pacifier, dropping it out of your mouth every time he tried to put it in, sobs not allowing it to stay. "Baby baby baby, you're okay, that little bee isn't gonna getcha in here, only daddy." He tries to tickle you, but you just sob louder. He's thankful for the soundproof walls, knowing you don't like to draw attention.

Steve finds Sam and Clint in the common room with Nat and Tony. Tony stands when he sees Steve, anger on his face still shirtless. Steve comes up from behind Sam and Clint, grabbing their shirts roughly, pulling them up and off the couch, feet dangling a foot above the floor, turning them to face him. They're shouting, trying to get Steve to let go. Tony is trying to pull Sam away from him, Nat trying to hit his weak spots so he will drop Clint but he doesn't budge.

"Did you think it was funny?" Steve spits, bringing his face closer to theirs, "Did you? You think it was funny when she cried? Think it was funny when she screamed and pulled on the door? How would you feel huh? If someone laughed at you because you were scared? If your friends laughed at you?" Tony and Nat are confused, "Steve calm down, what happened?" Steve scowls, overpowering the men easily as he turns them around, still holding them in the air. "Friday, pull up the patio clip and my bedroom feed on the common room television."

"Voice identification confirmed. One moment." The video starts playing, but all they can hear are your sobs, not able to hear the small consoling your daddy is trying or the talk from the patio clip as it plays. "Is it still funny bird boy? Is it still funny when you know you're the reason she's like this? No? Good." Steve throws them down on the couch, Tony is furious, Nat is scolding them, and Steve's on his way into the kitchen.

Tony follows Steve after shutting off the video feed, Nat still scolding the two perpetrators. Steve is piddling around, heating up some milk in the microwave. "You okay man?" Tony asks, placing a hand on his back, when Steve glares at him Tony sighs. "Man you can't go back to her seething like this." Steve lets out a huff, "I've never wanted to throttle someone like I do right now." He grabs the milk from the microwave, mixing some hot chocolate power in it, something that frequently happens when you're having a very bad day. Tony hands Steve a bottle, hidden in a thin cabinet, only unlocked by four people in the tower; Uncle Tony, your daddies, and you. "She's your baby, and she hasn't stopped crying because her buddies were mean to her and she doesn't understand, if you go in there angry, she will think you're mad at her." Tony chides, Steve, resonating with Tony's words, takes a deep breath, filling up your bottle and continuing to shake it. "Want me to come cheer her up with you?" Steve sighs, "Let us calm her down a bit, get her feeling right and we'll play some games later yeah?" Tony starts to rummage through the fridge, "Have Friday notify me." Steve nods, leaving Tony and going back to his baby.

When he opens the door, you're still crying, but when Steve sits he pulls you into his lap, holding you like a baby and rocking you. "Shhh, it's okay baby, I know they were mean, but papa's here now. It's okay," he's rubbing your face gently, your sobs turned to weak whimpers. "That's it baby, you want some milk?" You nuzzle into his chest, Bucky taking a sip of the bottle making sure it's not too hot and gives it back to Steve. He holds the tip to your lips, you instantly wrap your lips around it and hum happily.

"There she is, sweet girl," his fingers tangle in your hair, massaging your scalp gently while Bucky rubs your legs with a feather light touch. You hiccup on the milk, Steve moving it away from you and wiping away a stray tear. Your fingers clutch around his shoulder, whining, "Papa." He coos at you, "Drinking too fast aren't we love?" You let out another whine, your bottom lip wobbling, "Pease papa." He traces your jawline before bringing the bottle back to your lips, "Slower, you hear me dove?" You nod gently, closing your eyes and continuing to drink the bottle.

You're teetering on the edge of sleep, Steve wiping away a drop of milk that finds its way to the corner of your mouth. He takes the bottle very carefully, stopping when you suck on it a little harder, trying to hold it in your mouth. "Bunny," Bucky's voice sings to you, "let daddy have that, okay?" Steve tries to pull it away again, this time with no fight, Bucky pressing your pacifier to your lips, which you take happily. He clips it to the top of your pajama shirt so if you drop it, it'll stay relatively within reach. "Friday, put on munchkins lullaby playlist."

Soft music starts playing through the room, bringing you all the way under, soft snores against Steves chest alerting them to your slumber. "Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes, Mr. Wilson and Mr. Barton are outside, requesting entrance." Bucky rolls his eyes as he slides back down into the bed, "Friday, decline entrance and leave us be to nap for an hour." Steve moves you to Bucky, your sleeping form habitually wrapping around him and his warmth. Steve huddles behind you, wrapping his arm over you and resting it on Bucky, rubbing small circles. "She's gonna be a handful today," Steve comments, letting Bucky know that he thinks today is going to be one of those days where you regress further than usual. "She's gonna have such a good time with Tony." Bucky laughs, his eyes flutter shut, "Don't count her daddies short."

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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years

Text

My Name Isn't

Summary: You find out the guys (Bucky, Steve, and Sam) have a bet as to who can kiss you first, so you confront them at Tony's team building karaoke night.

Warnings: some swearing and drinking

Word Count: 3187

a/n: This was inspired by my love of the classic using karaoke to express your feelings trope and the song My Name Isn't by LOVA. I did change the lyric "yours" into "doll" though because it made sense in the story.

"Not a chance, Wilson." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve walked into the room, unbothered by the familiar sounds of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes arguing.

"C'mon tin man, you afraid you're gonna lose?' Sam couldn't help but tease the super soldier.

"It's a stupid bet! Steve tell him it's a stupid bet." Bucky stared at his best friend, silently begging for him to agree.

Steve's tone could only be described as exasperated when he responded, "what is it this time?"

"I bet Barnes and Noble over here," Sam stopped talking to dodge the book Bucky threw at him, "that I could get Y/N to kiss me before he could, and he's too chicken shit to take the bet."

"It's a stupid bet!" Bucky was gearing up to throw another book when Steve chimed in. "I don't know Buck, it could get you to finally act on your feelings for her."

Bucky rolled his eyes, responding with his typical denial "I don't have any feelings, punk."

Sam and Steve shared an obvious "this man is lying" look before turning back to Bucky.

"Fine, Cap since Bucky won't take the bet, will you?" The mischievous gleam in Sam's eye shown through as Steve weighed his options.

"It is a pretty stupid bet, but I'm doing this for you Buck." Clapping Bucky on the shoulder, he turned to Sam. "I'm in." As Steve went to shake Sam's hand, Bucky gave in.

"Fine! Fine. All three of us. The first one to kiss her wins." Bucky reluctantly agreed.

"Now, what does the winner get?" Sam posed the question, mischief clear in his eyes.

The first time you had an inkling that something was afoot was your training with Steve and Bucky later that same day. Steve wasn't overly touchy or anything that would make you uncomfortable, this is America's Golden Boy after all, but he kept calling you "honey" or some variation of it. You'd throw a punch and rather than correcting your form in his usual commanding Captain voice, he would feed you a random compliment followed by a "try it like this hun."

You left the gym confused and with more energy than one would typically have after training with Steve Rogers. Luckily for you, Nat and Wanda noticed it too.

"What was that about?" Wanda asked as soon as the three of you were out of earshot.

"I don't have a clue." Your expression of complete confusion was enough to convince the two women you were telling the truth.

"I always thought Barnes had a thing for you. I wouldn't expect Steve of all people to try to mess that up. Especially with how obvious you are!" Nat chimed in. You've never regretted anything more than getting drunk and admitting your feelings for the brunette super soldier to the two women.

"Ugh, are the two of you ever gonna forget about that?" Your question was rhetorical as you nearly slammed the door to your room, but it didn't stop the two women from shouting "not a chance" and "only if you tell him" through the door.

The second time you noticed the weird behavior was the next day. You were running through some basic defense moves with some new Shield agents when Sam walked in with Bucky.

Now, normally Sam avoids you in the gym because he knows you'll kick his ass. All your time spent training with Nat mixed with your advanced perception skills meant you are a force to be reckoned with in the gym. This time though, he asked to spar before running through his typical warm up routine.

"You sure, Wilson? I wouldn't want to bruise your ego any further." You joked with him, unsure of his motives.

"Oh I'm sure, baby. Do your worst."

So you did. You had him on the mat in 4 minutes even, not letting the "baby" comment phase you until later in the night when you were with Wanda and Nat.

"First, Steve keeps calling me honey. Now Wilson is in on it with baby! What the hell is going on?'

The three of you shared identical shrugs, choosing to ignore it for now in favor of girls night.

Your days continued with the random comments from Sam and Steve. Of course, after the first 24 hours you noticed a pattern emerging. The two men would only use the pet names if Bucky was in the room. If Bucky couldn't overhear what was being said, everything was normal, but all bets were off if he so much as stepped in the room. It was constant affection and compliments from the two men.

You were thinking about the pattern you'd discovered, along with what it could mean, when Tony barged into the common room like a man on fire.

He surveyed the room, noting the presence of nearly every team member. The only three missing? Sam, Steve, and Bucky. You had a feeling they were most definitely up to something. "Oh perfect, most of you are here already! I have decided we don't do enough team building. Saving the world is stressful and we deserve to relax, so... drumroll please!" He waited for an extended period of time, until you, Wanda, and Vision gave him a lackluster drumroll. "That could use some work, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. We're doing karaoke! I rented out a bar for tonight, so clear your schedules ladies and gentlemen! We start at 8."

To say he was met with mixed results would be underselling the range of reactions. Nat looked ready to kill him. Thor was so excited, he reminded you of a golden retriever playing fetch. Most everybody else fell somewhere in the middle.

"Y/N, be a dear and let the three stooges know would ya? I don't know where they are and I don't feel like finding them." Tony didn't wait for a response before leaving the room just as rapidly as he entered it.

"I guess that's my cue. I'll be back and we can at least get ready together?" You looked to Nat and Wanda for confirmation before leaving to find Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

You checked Sam's room first because it's the closest to the common area, but there was no sign of life. Steve and Bucky's rooms sat similarly untouched. You went to the gym, the pool, the game room, and circled back to the kitchen but they were nowhere to be seen. Finally, you gave up the impromptu game of hide and seek asking FRIDAY where they were.

"FRIDAY, do you know where Steve, Bucky, and Sam are?"

"Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, and Lieutenant General Wilson are on the roof." The AI responded so fast, it had you wondering why didn't just ask her 40 minutes ago when their rooms were all empty.

"What the hell are they doing on the roof?" You huffed as you made your way back to the elevator.

"They are the discussing the terms of their bet." FRIDAY's response surprised you. You hadn't meant to actually receive an answer, but now that you did you were curious.

"What bet?" You continued the line of questioning as the elevator rose to the roof access point.

"The three made a bet to see who could get you to kiss them first."

Suddenly, all the pet names and compliments made sense.

"Son of a bi-" You cut yourself off as the elevator door opened, leading you directly to the three men in question. They turned abruptly, clearly caught off guard by anyone coming to the roof.

"Finally. I've been looking for you three everywhere!" You kept the new found information to yourself for the time being. "Tony decided we're doing karaoke tonight. We're supposed to be at the bar he rented out by 8pm." You smiled, taking in the slightly guilty expressions on each of their faces. Even if FRIDAY hadn't told you, it would be painstakingly obvious you caught them talking about you.

"Thanks doll, we'll make sure we're there." You felt the butterflies in your stomach at the pet name, but quickly shut it down. You wouldn't be giving in to their bet that easily.

"No problem, see you boys soon." You winked, pressing the button to bring you back to the main floor. You had a plan to make after all.

"Well, it's karaoke why don't you just sing a song to call them out on it?" Wanda suggested another idea as you all got ready to head to the bar.

"That could work. You just need the perfect song." Nat chimed in, quickly applying some mascara.

"Wanda, you're a genius, and I think I have just the one." You grinned, pulling the song up to play while you finished getting ready.

Upon entering the bar, you immediately started second guessing your plan. That is, until the pet names came out to play. Sam was back at it with calling you baby, and Steve right there beside him with honey.

When you put your name down to sing, Wanda and Nat were right there with you, hyping you up and providing some liquid courage. Four drinks in and you finally felt just tipsy enough to actually follow through with your plan.

With the encouraging words from Nat and Wanda playing through your mind, you walked up to the stage, pulling up your chosen song on the karaoke machine.

You decided to play the beginning of the song off as a coincidence, not wanting to clue the guys in too early.

"One, two, three have been staring at me. It's been going all night."

You made eye contact with Nat and Wanda, fully relying on the feminist in you to knock these guys down a few pegs. By the time the chorus rolled around, you were ready.

Making direct eye contact with Sam, you put as much sass as possible into the next line.

"My name isn't 'baby,' you cannot say whatever you feel like. I am not the things you call me."

Switching your target from Sam to Steve, you kept going with the performance.

"My name isn't 'honey,' I will always do whatever I feel like. Honestly, you don't know me."

Clearly the three of them realized you knew about their bet, but you were on a roll. Switching focus to Bucky, you switched up the words a little bit to put him on blast as well.

"My name isn't... doll. My name isn't... doll."

The girls must have filled in the rest of the group, because you now had Bruce, Thor, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint, Wanda, and Nat cheering you on. They were whopping and hollering in agreement with the lyrics.

"We ain't got the time for you messing around so cut the deal."

"Cut the deal!!" You heard Tony yelling out as an echo, shaking your head with a slight chuckle.

"So don't come here and say, 'boys will be boys.' Behind every act there's always a choice."

The three men in question at least had the decency to look ashamed of their actions. Of course, that wasn't enough for you to not put them on blast through another round of the chorus.

The high from calling them out wore off right around the line:

"Do you really think that you can get your way by playing the same game."

Singing those words made you realize exactly what just happened. You held it together, put up a front long enough to get through the last chorus. Singing the last line to Bucky, you felt like your emotions were all over your face. The annoyance that the bet existed. The pain at him being part of it. The love you'd been trying to hide. All of it felt like it was right out in the open.

"My name isn't... Doll. My name isn't, my name isn't... Doll."

You took a quick bow in thanks for all the applause, before running off the stage. You didn't stop at the table with Nat and Wanda, nor did you stop for the three men trying to apologize. You made it outside, running about five blocks before even taking in your surroundings. Noticing a McDonald's, you sent a quick prayer that the ice cream machine was actually functioning before ducking inside.

The team stood with mouths hanging open at your sudden departure.

"What the hell just happened?" Tony posed the question to the group, knocking them out of their stupor.

Bucky was the first to follow you outside, his panic growing when he didn't see you leaning against any of the brick walls.

"Where is she?" Steve asked, spinning in circles right alongside Bucky while the rest of the group filed out the door.

"I don't know!" Bucky turned on Steve and Sam. "I never should have agreed to that stupid bet. Dammit!" Running his hands through his hair, he took off down the street calling a quick, "I'll look this way" over his shoulder.

He moved quickly down the street, keeping his eyes peeled for your sparkly, dark red dress. He looked through the windows of the many store fronts as he passed them. About five blocks later, he was about to turn around, assuming you went a different direction when he saw the familiar golden "m". A memory from about three weeks ago was quick to flash through his mind.

The team just came back from a two and a half week mission yesterday, meaning Tony was bound to throw a party today. It went about the same as most Tony Stark parties go; a lot of schmoozing until most guests left and the team could actually let loose.

You let a little looser than normal at the after party. After the mission required you to pretend to be married to Bucky, you felt like you deserved it. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings from him, especially when he insisted on walking you to your room after the party.

In a last ditch effort to avoid any drunk escapades, you asked him to take you to McDonald's instead of your room.

"Please Bucky?" You asked, drawing out the words and adding a small pout for good measure. "I just want a McFlurry and some fries! Please!"

"Sure, doll. We can go to McDonald's." You jumped up and down clapping, hugging him as you praised him for being so kind.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the nicest, most perfect man to ever live. Let's gooooo!!" He smiled at your antics, leading you to one of the many cars Tony kept stocked, not quite trusting you to ride a motorcycle at the moment.

After getting the food, the two of you ate together in the car. You, of course, insisting he try dipping the fries in the ice cream.

Reluctantly, he admitted it wasn't that bad before driving the two of you home. He dropped you off at your door, receiving a whispered "thank you" and a quick kiss to the cheek from you.

He smiled at the memory before walking inside. He found you in a booth toward the back, unsurprisingly dipping fries into your ice cream

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." You didn't even look up when he started speaking, choosing instead to study the m&ms in your dessert. "Really. It was a stupid bet. Hell, I didn't even want to do it, but then that punk and birdman teamed up against me and I couldn't let them do it without me! It would've killed me to know one of them kissed you. It was so stupid and I should've just shut it down. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than that." He trailed off, waiting for you to say something.

You gestured to the seat across from you, pushing some fries toward him. "It was a stupid bet."

You waited until his mouth was full before asking "Why would it have killed you?" Watching him nearly choke on his fries was oddly satisfying.

"What?" He tried to deflect the question. You shook your head, passing him a napkin.

"You said it would have killed you to know one of them kissed me. Why?" You looked him in the eye as you ate another fry.

"Well, you see, I... um, maybe have um... feelings." It was his turn to stare intently at the m&ms. He mumbled a quick "get yourself together" under his breath before continuing. "I like you. Hell, I think I love you. I don't know when it started, but suddenly you are all I can think about. I worry about you constantly when your on a mission without me, even though I know you can take care of yourself. I see little things that remind me of you everywhere. Like yesterday, I saw a buttercup on the side of the road and I couldn't stop thinking about the time you spent a good twenty minutes ranting about how spring is the worst season."

Suddenly, you were on a tangent. "Because it is! It's always raining, it's muggy, it's always freezing in the morning and way too hot in the afternoon so you have to carry all these extra layers-"

"I love you. That's why it would've killed me. I don't even want to think about you with another-"

It was your turn to cut him off, doing so by leaning across the small table to kiss him. It was quick, but you still felt fireworks.

"I love you too." Your words were sweet, but shifted when you said the rest of your sentence. "I just have one more question." The smirk on your face made him nervous, but he was more than willing to answer anything.

"What do you get for winning?"

After talking with Bucky, you texted Nat and Wanda to let them know you were okay and the two of you were headed back to the compound. You beat everyone else back, but decided to wait for them in the common area.

Steve and Sam came in with their heads low, struggling to make eye contact.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. We never should have made that bet." Steve started, aware of all the eyes on him.

"Me too. It was stupid and thoughtless." Sam added on.

"It was, but you are forgiven." You reached for Bucky's hand, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Bucky told me the winner of your little bet gets to pick the music for all forms of travel on the next three missions." You grinned at their confused expressions. "Bucky, being the winner, has so graciously bestowed that gift to me now. Get ready boys. I'm talking High School Musical. Hamilton. I'll have the two of you singing Taylor Swift in the shower." You, along with the rest of the team, laughed at their expense. Their grim expressions had you smiling, "oh please, I know you secretly love it!"

"Now, I have to go to bed. I have a date tomorrow." You winked at Bucky before sauntering off down the hall, the cheers of your teammates following you.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #tony stark #marvel

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snoopdoodle · 3 years

Note

Could o requests some tony stark and male reader where the reader was a top worker at SI but then peter came around and now he isnt seen/recognized as much, and tony just walks in on male!reader crying? Hope You can do it, love your writing so far :p

SOBS I LOVE THIS- also I think I tried really hard on this, so :] i hope it was up to your standards, and please tell me if you enjoy !! this was my first Tony request, so I tried really hard :} also I went really angsty for this so-

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Tell Him Later

SECOND PART - Part 2

platonic!Tony Stark x male!reader

pronouns: he/him

summary: life had been hard for you, but your escape is Stark Industries. What happens when your escape turned against you too?

WARNINGS: divorce, blood, panic attacks, scratching at skin

“No!” You yelled as your project flew off to the other. Tony was cackling while holding his stomach. “O-Oh my go-o-o-od…” He dragged out between laughter. His hand slapped the table and there were tears in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath again and you looked over at him. “Tony! It isn’t funny! It’s gonna break!” You yelled back at him, although this was the wrong choice as he doubled over in laughter. The table was a mess and you were near tears of laughter from the situation and anger for your project not working. “O-Ok.. come on kid l.. Hehe… let’s get back to working on this… what is this?” He spoke, looking at the mangled robot. He thought it would make you laugh, but it sadly did the opposite. You frowned, your face leaning into your hands as you sighed.

“Tony…” you spoke. You felt tired and upset. Lately things haven’t been going well at home, so the Industry was your only escape. You mother had been yelling at your dad more, for stupid things that he didn’t even do most of the time! The sun beamed down in the lab, signaling that your escape-hours were ending. “Sorry, Tony. I gotta go, Mom’s been wanting me home earlier.” You spoke, lying through your teeth. There was a hint of dread in your already tired sounding voice. ‘Why do things never go as planned for me..?’ You asked yourself in your head. You frowned as your nose felt warm. That was a signal that you would start crying soon. It always happened, and you didn’t know why. Maybe it was genetic.

Tony looked at you, his eyes softening. “Hey, kid… you know, you can talk to me whenever you want.” He spoke, patting your shoulder. You stifled a cry and nodded, your voice was weak with the feeling of tears welling up in your eyes. Tony pat your shoulder again. That was your que. You sped out of the lab room, backpack on your back and your headphones plugged into your phone. You turned on your Spotify playlist as you listened to the opening. Your tears fell at the song. Freaks by Surf Course. You smiled as the song played and as the tears fell down your face. ‘Maybe tomorrow,’ you thought to yourself, ‘maybe tomorrow I’ll tell Tony what’s been happening.. Maybe he can help me.’

It didn’t happen tomorrow. Or the Next day. Or the Next. Tony was gone. ‘Probably fighting... he’s an Avenger, after all. Just hope he stays safe.’ You would tell yourself. Tony came back, although it was after 2 weeks. He brought this kid with him. You thought nothing of it, probably a newbie, maybe he’s showing him around? ‘Weird, how’d he get accepted at this time?’ That question popped in your head so many times, it was almost like the plague. It was strange… eh, whatever. You’d tell Tony what was happening during your lab time today.

‘He didn’t show up…. He didn’t show up! What was happening? Maybe that new kid was asking him a bunch of questions. He'll be back tomorrow.’

Why do you get your hopes up?

2 weeks. It had been 2 weeks since he had turned up to your daily lab time. Your parents had gotten the divorce they needed, but you were still in shambles. The divorce was ugly too. Screaming from both sides, including some yelling from you. However, you were still turning up to work everyday as this would go down at home. Somehow you had remained at the top of the leaderboards in Stark Industries. The first place rank thing, that was the only keeping you motivated to work. You wanted to be like how Tony had described you, “the son he never had.” But there was this one kid, Peter Parker. He had passed your name and made it to first place.

You cried when that happened. It wasn’t even something to cry over, you just bursted out in tears. At other times, this would motivate you, but without Tony’s words of encouragement and with what was happening in your life, it brought you down into a new low. You were full on sobbing, your head ached from the tears, your hands were numb from working. Your eyes hurt and you were sure the whole building could hear your cries. “Why won’t you stop crying, Y/N?! You’re such a baby, mom was right!” you yelled at yourself, crying even more at the thought. Your hands tore at your hair and your breathing got heavier. It was to the point where your chest had hurt and your ears were ringing, but you continued to spew hateful words at yourself. You could barely hear Tony yelling for you.

Tony had been walking down the halls of Stark Industries. He saw that Peter had beat you, and was shocked and proud of him. He wanted to see how you were doing, because he knew that you could bounce back to be even better… or so he thought. When he heard crying, he thought you had hurt yourself, so he turned to the supply closet near the room that he had passed. He waltzed over to there speedily, hoping the injury wasn’t too bad. But when he heard “Why won’t you stop crying, Y/N?! You’re such a baby, mom was right!” come out of your mouth, he clutched onto the med kit and ran to your lab room. When he got there, he was shocked, frozen in place.

Your desk was a wreck and you were full on sobbing. You were tearing at your hair and you had blood coating your hands. ‘That’s… from his scalp..’ Tony realized, his eyes growing wider at the thought. He jogged over to you, noticing your breathing was getting heavier by the second. “JARVIS, What’s wrong with him?!” Tony demanded as he called out to you. “K-kid… hey, can you hear me?!” You looked up with a dead look in your eyes. He was scared for your health, your head was bleeding at an alarming rate from the way you had scratched at it. “It appears he’s suffering through a panic-attack right now, sir. From what is happening, it looks like he will need medical assessment for his scalp.” JARVIS spoke, informing that man who was trying to get your attention.

Tony looked at you, and then around. “W-well how do I help him?!” Tony stuttered back. He couldn’t handle his own anxiety attacks, how was he supposed to help someone through a panic attack?! “Try to get his breathing levels at a normal rate, sir. It could help tremendously.” JARVIS informed. ‘O-Ok..’ Tony tried, you were still scratching at your scalp, the blood was dripping from your hands onto the ground. Your breathing was still heavy. He grabbed your shoulders, and in the calmest voice he could, he started speaking. “Hey, kiddo, look at me. Look, follow my breathing.” You sort of followed, your breathing wasn’t steady in the slightest, and you could barely hear him, but you were trying.

He smiled at the attempt, but still made you follow it. 4 in, 6 hold, 5 out. It probably wasn’t the right breathing method, but it was working. It took 13 minutes for you to get your breathing steady. Tears were still flowing from your eyes, and blood had stained your hair. Tony held your shoulder and you started to feel the pain in your scalp increasing. “I-I’m sorry, Tony…” You spoke, hiccupping during your words. Tony turned over to you, shocked at what you had said. “What do you mean you’re sorry, Kid?” He asked, the worry in his eyes showing. “I was acting like a child, I should’ve been better…” At this point you were spewing all the nonsense out of your mouth that your brain could come up with. Tony was confused at your words and patted your shoulder, stopping your rant.

“Kid, you don’t have to apologize for a panic-attack. You were, and probably are still hurting. Mentally and physically, which by the way, we should get you checked up.” He cut himself off, which made you laugh. “JARVIS-” He spoke, but the AI cut him off before he could speak. “I’ve already gotten medical help, sir. The wait will be 2-3 minutes.” Tony smiled, as you yawned. “Kid, don’t you dare fall asleep, cause I don’t want you dying on me.” Tony spoke, seriousness in his voice as he was keen on keeping you awake and alive. You lulled your head over, sleepily, but your head was hurting. “I want to rest…” You spoke, tired. “Nope, MEDIC!” He yelled as he plucked you from your spot in the ground, alerting the medic of where you two were.

Yeah, you’d tell him later.

#x male reader #tony stark x male!reader #platonic!tony stark #male!reader #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x male reader #platonic!tony stark x male reader

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thegreenmetblue · 3 years

Text

STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 9th square

hurt/comfort

read on ao3

im gifting this one to @itfeelssogoodmrstark because 1. gift day 🙈, 2. you’re being the sweetest with me when i get anxiety and it does help me 🥺 and 3. you always give me the motivation to write 🥰, love you sm luna ❤️❤️

tw : anxiety, heart palpitations and panic attack

My Heart Is Yours, So Hold Me Forever

My Heart Is Yours

“Boss, I have to inform you that the boy’s heart is beating faster than usual.”, FRIDAY alerts Tony while he’s working in the lab. Tony stops, the boy ?

“Fri, are you talking about Peter ?”, he asks, frowning. Why is his AI calling Peter ‘the boy’? “Affirmative, Sir.”, his creation answers. Tony tries not to start to worry.

“Is he patrolling or doing any exercices ?”, the man asks, still trying to not panic yet. Is Peter in danger ? Where he is ? He’s supposed to be at school at this hour of the day. He shouldn’t be patrolling. Which would mean he-

“He presently is locked in the bathroom of his high school, Boss. From the vitals Karen just transmitted me, it appears he’s not in danger, but his body shows several signs of panic and anxiety.”, Tony hears her voice echoes in his brain. Shit. What happened ?

In less time that Tony would have taken to even walk to his kitchen, he’s in the suit flying to Peter’s school. He tries not to let his heart race too much. Peter’s probably having a panic attack or something. He can’t allow himself to have one too. Not right now.

Tony doesn’t even care that people could see him almost running in a high school. He just cares about Peter.

When he opens the boys’s toilets’s door, the first thing he hears is small sniffles. “Pete?”, he says softly, not to scare the poor thing. Tony hears the boy’s breath stopping suddenly.

“Mr- Mr. Stark ? Is that you ?”, a small cracking voice asks. He’s been crying. Tony closes the first door and completely enters the bathroom. “Yeah it’s me kiddo.”, the man answers in an almost whisper, still trying to sound like he’s not worried.

“What… What are you- ? Why are you here ?”, Peter whines, almost like he’s gonna cry again, he’s a bit breathless. So Tony was right, was Peter having a panic attack ?

“Please I’d like better not to talk to an orange school door toilet, Pete. Get out of there.”, Tony says and as soon as he hears a small sob, he realizes he’s being a bit harsh. Shit. He has to control his damn worry.

“Im sorry, kid. Fri alerted me you were panicking. What happened Peter ?”, he finally questions, trying not to stress the boy. There’s no direct answer, but another sniffing. Tony doesn’t push it. He wants to, but he doesn’t. He gives Peter enough time to speak.

“I- I don’t really know… I.. my heart is- just beating so fast right now, and my stomach is so clenched and I feel like I can’t breathe.”, Peter explains after a few seconds, Tony hears the trembling in his voice, he wonders if it’s because of his heart beating fast or because he cried.

“It’s alright, Peter… Hey, can you get out of there for me please ?” There’s another silence, Peter’s breath is louder, shakier. Tony’s shoulders release a bit of their tension when he finally hears the ‘click’ of the door’s lock.

But the view before him almost breaks his heart. Peter’s eyes are red, his cheeks are read too, and he’s literally trembling, a hand clenching on his shirt just where his heart is at. And Tony just wants to hug him and never let go. Fuck, when did he become that protective with Peter ? He’s seen people in so much worse state. And yet, his protection instinct never were that strong.

“Sweetheart…”, he lets slip. It only adds more tears to Peter’s eyes. “Im sorry…”, the boy mumbles, looking down.

“Hey. None of that. Can you tell me what happened ?”, the man asks, still restraining himself to pull Peter close to him. Shit, Stark get a hold on yourself. But again, Peter only seems to have more and more difficulties to breathe.

“Hey, Hey, it’s alright Peter. Breathe for me please ? In and out ? You’re alright buddy, it’s alright.”. Tony’s soft voice seems to work out a bit on Peter. But the hand on his heart is still there. FRIDAY told him Peter’s heartbeats were reaching 160 bpm, which is definitely too fast for someone who’s just standing in a bathroom.

Peter opens his mouth and lets out a shaky breath before speaking. “I don’t know what happened, it- it happens lots those days and I don’t know why, im just getting really anxious and then I feel like I can’t do anything, I get- those, my heart, it’s being like this for no reasons, and it scares me. I feel like Im gonna have a heart attack.”, he explains in one shot, voice still trembling. Tony shushes him. But Peter continues. “And my tummy feels like- clenched and I hear my heart echoing in my whole body right now, it hurts my chest and my back. And-”

“Peter.”, Tony cuts him. “Please, you have to breathe.”

The boy does what Tony asked him to. He’s still trembling. Tony sighs. “Calm down okay ? You’re safe right now.”

“I know Im safe, Mr. Stark! That’s the issues, I don’t know why, and I think- I think you’re making it worse, I don’t know what triggered it, I can’t calm my heart, I feel like it’s gonna explode in my chest.”, Peter blurts out once again. The man tries not to get upset by Peter saying he’s making this worse.

And then Peter’s eyes start to water again. “Im- I think Im having a heart attack Mr. Stark, I can’t- I can’t breathe.”. Tony’s own heart clenches at that. “Shhh, Pete… You’re not having a heart attack, you can breathe, you’re doing perfect right now Sweetheart.”, this one petname was volunteer. Tony hates to admit it, but he damn knows how much those affect Peter. But the boy just seems to get more and more anxious, he’s even starting to get away from Tony, stepping back. Tony stares at the boy’s hand, still clenching hard on his shirt, like he needed to feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Pl-Please, make it stop, I- I left the class without even asking if I could, the teacher is gonna send May something, and it’s worse, you make it worse, Mr. Stark, please.”, Peter starts to full cry now, his body trembling even more. Okay, that’s it. Tony thinks.

“Pete, can I touch you ?”, he still asks, not to startle him even more. Peter doesn’t answer but he nods. “Okay turn around and take your shirt off.”, he orders, voice still soft. That gets a reaction out of Peter.

“What ?”, he says dumbly, he can’t blush because his cheeks are already red but Tony hates that he wished they weren’t just so he could see the red creeping in the boy’s cheeks at that. And then he hates himself, thinking like that when Peter clearly isn’t feeling okay.

“Do what I say, Pete, Im not gonna do anything, I promise.”, he tries to reassure the boy. God, he knows how that sounds.

Peter stays silent for a little while and then actually does take his shirt off. In front of Tony, before turning away from him. Tony tries not to stare. He’s being the worst right now., but then Peter actually turns around and facing the boy’s back makes it easier for Tony to remember why he’s doing this.

Peter lets another sobs. “My chest- it burns, I can’t calm it down, why is-”, he starts but Tony cuts him again.

“Shhh, I want you to forget your heart, Pete. You forget your heartbeats and focus on my finger, alright ? Im gonna write words in your back, baby. And the only thing you have to do is to guess the letters, and then the word, okay ? Im sure you already played this game before.”, he explains, still making effort to keep his voice soft and reassuring for Peter.

Tony knows Peter really isn’t in his normal state when he doesn’t hears the awkward response he would have said in a normal situation if Tony said he’d draw letters on his bare back. The only thing he gets is Peter nodding again and whispering a small, shaky ‘Kay.’.

Tony puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, to ground him. And then, with his second hand, he draw a ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He sees Peter’s skin shivering but it’s the only thing he gets.

“Pete, what letter did I just draw ?”, he asks, patiently. “Huh.. I- I don’t know.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, Im gonna do it again, okay ? Please focus on my finger on your back.”, Tony whispers before doing another ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He hates how smooth his finger feels against that sweet skin.

“W ?”, Peter asks and Tony smiles, praising a soft ‘yeah that’s good, perfect.’, before drawing an ‘E’.

Peter’s body and breath are still shaky, but the latest doesn’t come out as sobs anymore. This time, he guesses on the first shot. “E.”, he says, voice still sick. Tony hums and draws a ‘B’.

“Are- Are you gonna write webs ?”, the boy asks finally. Tony hides a laugh. “Smart boy. It’s what came to my mind first. But the game is more about focusing on each letter, less about finding the word, Pete. Just focus on the way my finger feels on your back, huh ?”. The man hates how that sounds again. But it’s what Peter has to do, so he nods. He started with a short words on purpose so Peter doesn’t get overwhelmed by the task.

Tony draws a ’S’ and then leaves his hand on Peter’s back. He doesn’t ask if Peter’s heart feels less like it’s gonna explode. Peter has to focus on something else.

“Alright, Im gonna start a new word now okay ?”, Tony prevents. He thanks the lord that it’s classes hours because it’s probably safe from anyone entering the bathroom right now. God- What would it even look like ? Plus, it’d just throw Peter in an even more stressing situation.

Next, Tony goes with ‘P-E-A-C-H’, just because he can smell Peter’s peachy shampoo from there. The boy seems already more calmed down. No more sobs, breath more regular, trembling almost gone. They don’t talk about anything else but the ‘game’, Peter tells letters and words, and Tony praises.

’H-O-N-E-Y’ He’ll be damned, he doesn’t even care.

‘V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N’

Every time Tony starts a new word, he sees Peter’s back shivering. But he doesn’t care, because Peter looks better. Sounds better. He can feel how relaxed the boy starts to be with the hand that’s still on his shoulder.

’S-A-N-D-W-I-C-H’ Peter even laugh, saying that now he’s hungry.

And Tony goes for the last one, because it worked, Peter’s not panicking anymore. ’S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T’. Yes, two petnames, he’s already damned anyway.

“Sweetheart ?”, Peter says in a weak voice. And it’s the first time he asks a question. Because he’s not searching for approval. He’s asking if the sweetheart is him. Tony decides to ignore that, pretending he didn’t understand and praises him for finding the right word.

“Turn around now, Pete.”, he orders gently. Peter’s eyes aren’t frantic, his mouth isn’t twisted, he still have red cheeks, but Tony guesses it’s because of- anyway. “It… It worked, my heart feels normal again. My stomach too. I… Thank you, Mr. Stark.”, Peter says, hesitantly, looking- looking at Tony with eyes that makes him wanna protect him forever. “I… I liked the- your hand, on my back.”

And it’s too much, Tony can’t help it, without Peter even having any time to realize it, Tony pulls him close in a hug. It takes a second for Peter to wrap his arms against the man too. Tony may be hugging him too tight, he doesn’t care. He just cares about having Peter here, close, safe. They don’t say anything, they just keep hugging like it was the last time they would see each other.

And automatically, Tony’s hand finds his way to Peter’s hair. The sound Peter makes, and tries to hide by sinking his head deeper in Tony’s chest, sends butterflies into Tony’s stomach. Fucking butterflies. What is he ? 12 ?

They stay a bit more like this, Tony petting Peter’s hair, his hand snarling into the boy’s soft curls. It’s like magic. Because it appeases both of them. Peter doesn’t even bother to hide the purrs coming out of his mouth, and Tony- Tony is melting.

It’s lasting too much. Tony’s hand slides into the boy’s neck and he feels Peter’s skin shivering again. Stop., he tells himself. Stop before you cross the damn line, Stark. But fuck, the line is so blur right now.

Fuck, don’t.

With his other hand he tilts Peter’s head up, moving themself just a bit further but now they’re facing each other. Tony closes his eyes. Peter’s cheeks are so red, his eyes are just- begging him to do it. He can’t. He can’t look because he’s about to do the biggest mistake of his whole life, and it’s saying lots.

“Mr. Stark… Please ?”, Peter finally whispers, voice just demanding, his breath caressing the man’s face. Tony’s eyes open on their own.

Fuck it.

And the next thing both of them can understand is that their lips are against each other’s. Tony can’t believe he’s doing this. Peter can’t believe this is happening. But both of them just can’t fight it anymore. Peter’s body suddenly wraps around Tony’s and the man clenches his hands around Peter’s back hard. He wants Peter to be closer, he wants Peter to be safe, he wants Peter to be his, he wants Peter.

It’s sloppy, Peter doesn’t know how to kiss. Tony doesn’t mind. No, it’s a lie, Tony knows he’s Peter’s first kiss and it awakes something dangerously warm inside him.

The small choked noises Peter is doing right now are gonna stay graved in Tony’s memory forever. It’s so good, it feels like liberty and flying. For both of them. It feels like there’s a fire, and both of them are into it, but it’s not a bad burning, it’s a beautiful burning.

And when the kiss stops, for them to breathe, Tony sees the most beautiful thing in the world in front of him. And this beautiful thing is looking at him like he just hung the moon.

“I- Im- Oh my god, Im so sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t want t-”, Peter starts, stuttering and panicking again but Tony puts a finger on his mouth, shushing him immediately.

“Shhh, we don’t want you to have another crisis don’t we ?”, he says. And then there’s a silence. A loud one. Peter looks like he’s about to cry again. Tony has a choice to make. A big one. Two solutions, only one of them is reasonable.

“Let’s move to the compound, Pete. Not sure you’d appreciate one of your teacher seeing you kissing Tony Stark.”, he finally says. Yeah, Tony isn’t really known for making reasonable choices. But when he sees the boy’s face lightning up in front of him, it really doesn’t matter anymore.

So Hold Me Forever

Peter was having a great day. It’s summertime and he, MJ And Ned went to the public swimming pool -yes, he told Tony they wanted to go there and not in the penthouse’s swimming pool-, and now they’re eating in a fast-food. Holidays just started, no more school, no more homework, no more exam, yeah, Peter is definitely having a great day.

The boy was threatening MJ to give him back his fries when he felt his heart clenching hard.

Oh no.

That must have reflected on his face because suddenly, both Ned and MJ are asking him if he’s alright.

“I- I gotta go, guys, sorry, I’ll maybe catch with you later!”, Peter hurries before literally jumping from his seat and rushing out. He knows it’s a lie. He know he definitely won’t come back. Because Tony is having a panic attack right now.

Fuck. If it wasn’t for his spidey sense, he wouldn’t even have known. Meaning that Tony told FRIDAY not to alert him.

“Fuck you Tony…”, he mumbles, already swinging his way back to the compound. In those moments, Peter wished he had an armor like Tony to go faster.

When he finally arrives, he asks FRIDAY to localise Tony and then rushes to the lab. Tony is there, sat on the floor, back against the wall, breathing loudly. That vision makes Peter wanna throw up. He knows he can’t panic, he knows he can’t touch Tony, so he gently crouches in front of him.

“Tony, hey…”, he whispers, just not to startle the man. When their eyes meet, the boy’s jaw clenches because of how scared Tony looks.

“K- Kid, Pe-Pete. Get- Get o-”, the man tries to say, but Peter shushes him. “Stop talking, Im not going anywhere Tony, Im right here.”. Peter tries to control the shakiness in his voice.

He’s mildly happy to see Tony trying to nod. But if the man doesn’t put up a fight for Peter not to see him like this, then it’s that it’s really serious.

“Okay, Tony please I want you to breathe okay ? Can you breathe ? In and out ? In. In, Tony. Breathe please…”, he murmurs despite his state. But Tony doesn’t really show any respond to what he said, he’s not even looking at him. The boy sighs, fighting the tears. Not the fucking time to act like a baby, Parker. And he crabs both of Tony’s wrist.

Tony jumps, and finally locks his eyes into Peter’s. “Pet-Peter…”

“You’re okay, you’re okay Tony. It’s just a panic attack. You know what you have to do when you got those, right ? You gotta breathe. C’mon… No. Keep staring at me, please. Okay now, now-”, but Peter stops himself to take a breath. He hates seeing the man like this. “Now you gotta copy how Im breathing okay ?”, the boy asks. He shouldn’t ask, he should order.

“Honey.”, he says instead, softly. Tony still has his eyes locked into Peter’s. Peter’s still holding both of his wrist. It’s fucking scary to feel how much Tony’s shaking. He’s glad he has his superstrength, because he’s able to maintain Tony. The petname does it because Tony nods again, making a distress sound that clenches Peter’s heart so hard.

“Okay, good Tony, c’mon, like me please.”, Peter whispers before starting to breathe loudly. Calmly, but loudly, so Tony can focus on it enough to try to copy it.

“Don’t let my eyes down, Tony. Please, you always says you love my eyes. So focus on them, please. You can stare and then make fun of me because of that yellow spot I hate okay ?”, he panics a bit. Peter hates that he’s rambling even in time like this. But he just wants Tony to focus only on his face and breathing.

“Can’t-”, Tony starts but cuts himself before speaking again. “Can’t breathe.”, he manages to say. And suddenly, Peter’s lips are on his. It’s not a kiss. It was either that, either a hand on his mouth. But it just looks a bit less frightening than if Peter was stopping Tony from breathing through his mouth.

A few seconds pass before Peter moves back to his initial position. “Keep your mouth shut, Tony.”, he gently orders. “Okay, now Imma ask you the same thing but only breathing through your nose okay ?”

Tony nods again, so Peter starts breathing loudly through his nose. He forces Tony’s hands down and sits completely in front of him. Peter doesn’t even know how he can keep his breathing calm, because he just wanna burst into tears, but he does.

The man finally tries to copy the slow breathing. At first it doesn’t work because Tony’s breathless but they keep going, in silence. Just Peter holding his wrists and keeping eyes contact.

It takes a few minutes but Tony does calm himself a bit. Not enough for it to be done, but enough for practically having the same breathing pace as Peter.

So that’s a step done. Peter feels a bit calmer already. Having Tony like that in front of him is pretty scary. And he’s also always scared he won’t be able to help him. The first time Tony had a panic attack, Peter was so lost he had to call Rhodey.

A few seconds go by, still in a loud-breathing-silence and then Peter gets up. Tony follows his eyes up. “What… What are you doing kid ?”, kid. Tony doesn’t really call him like that anymore -expect for a few times in bed because c’mon that’s kinky-. If he does right now, it’s because he’s still not completely aware of the situation, still panicking. The boy gives him his hand. Tony grabs it without questioning it. And Peter pulls him up, again thanks to his superstrength. “I need you up for this.”, Peter fakes chuckles. He wants his boyfriend to know it’s okay. All of this. “It’s okay.”

And then Tony is up, legs still shaking a bit. “Friday, how’s Tony’s heart doing please ?”, he asks to the AI. “Still going faster than it should for its own good.”, that makes the boy nods.

Peter stares at him and remembers Tony actually asked him for touching permissions when he had heart palpitations. “Are you okay for me to touch you Tony ?”, he questions with a soft smile. “Yeah I am, Pete…”, the man answers, voice half breathless, half joking. And suddenly Peter’s hugging Tony. Hard. Both of their chests are glued together.

Peter hears Tony’s air stops before coming back more as a sigh. He wonders if it’s a good sign. He isn’t even sure if what he’s doing right now is helpful or no. But technically that should work.

Tony passes a hand on the boy’s neck, stroking gently the beginning of his soft curls. Peter shivers. That’s perfect. His own heart needs to be calm for this, Tony is making it calm. Because feeling the man’s one stammering against his chest definitely doesn’t help.

“Im not… Im not sure why the hug, but it does feel good, Pete”, Tony chuckles softly. He tries to act like it’s done. Peter knows it’s not. Their body are clenched against each other, he can feel the trembling everywhere.

“It’s not just a hug, we have to stay like that, okay ? It… It helps.”, Peter mumbles, not so sure he wants to explain to Tony. “What helps ? Hug ? Love ? Im.. Im sure it does, P-Pete, you did good there.”, the man tries to praises him. Peter clenches his teeth. It’s him who should praise Tony for being able to follow what Peter asked.

“You did good actually Tony. Not me. And it’s… not about hug or love. It’s about… about the fact that when two people hug, their hearts are against each other, the skin is the only barrier. And the human heart has this thing you know ? To copy beats. Like with music, when there’s loud beats, the heart tends to- anyway. What I mean is that, your heart is beating really fast right now, too fast. And mine is okay. So when we hug, like this, both of our hearts will try to copy each other’s beat. So yours should go back to a normal pace more quickly than if we just waited for it to. And it’s also nicer. T- To hug, I mean. Than to like… just wait.”, Peter finishes and wants to slaps himself for not being able to not ramble. He knows his cheeks are red and hates that.

But when his eyes go up to meet Tony’s, all he can read here is love. “Sweetheart…”, Tony whispers. But he doesn’t add anything else. However he kisses the top of Peter’s head. Again, it’s gestures that appease both of them.

“Let’s stay like this, then. So your heart can-”, the boy starts but gets cuts by Tony. “Yeah staying like that sounds perfect to me, Honey.”

So they stay. Both of them wouldn’t have any idea of how many time they stayed like this, holding each other, waiting for Tony’s heart to beat at a normal pace again. It seems like forever and just- out of time at the same time. Slowly, their position shifts a bit. Peter watches carefully that both of their hearts are still perfectly against each other, but he lets his head fall against Tony’s shoulder. Tony has his leaned on Peter’s. The man’s hands are on Peter’s hair and the boy’s ones are slowly caressing his back.

It’s finally FRIDAY’s voice who interrupt them. “Boss, your heartbeats seem to have found a slow pace again.”, she says, making them jump at the same time, stirring them out of that headspace they both went to.

Peter steps back a bit and study Tony’s face. There’s no visible signs of panic anymore. “How are you feeling ?”, he can’t help but ask. “Could be better, but could have been way worse if you haven’t showed, Pete.”, Tony smiles, creating butterflies in Peter’s stomach. “Thank you, my babyboy.”, the man adds with a smile, a fondly smile. Peter opens his mouth but nothing goes out. Tony takes his hand and brings them to the couch.

It’s easy. It’s easy to forget what just happened when Tony brings them close, under a pile of blankets on the couch. But Peter doesn’t.

“Tony… What… What happened ? Why did you… What triggered the panic attack ?”, he finally asks. Because he wants to know. Because he worries. Because he loves him. And he wants Tony to share everything with him. The good and the bad. Tony’s first silent answer is to tighten his grip around the boy’s body. Not in a bad way, more in an affectionate way. Peter wants to say ‘You don’t have to tell me.’, not to pressure Tony into saying anything, but he needs to know.

“Let’s say I… St- Rogers sent me a letter.”, Tony tells finally. Without adding anything else. He doesn’t have to. He doesn’t want to either. And that’s where Peter won’t cross the line. He got his answer. He sees Tony’s gaze wandering away and immediately comes up with something to bring him back. “Did you read it ?”, Peter questions, to tell Tony he doesn’t have to explain more. Because Peter knows. Peter knows what happened after his first battle with and against the team. And he knows how it fucked Tony up, he saw how it fucked Tony up.

“No.”, short answer. Message received.

“Okay… Thank you for telling me Tony.”, Peter practically purrs against him, showing that now they can both move on from that. But Tony apparently doesn’t catch it. “Peter, Im sorry you ha-”

“Don’t.”, Peter cuts him almost harshly. Tony shoots him a look. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I hated seeing you like that. But I would have hated it so much more if I wouldn’t have been able to help you Tony. Let me help. I wanna share those things with you. Not just the soft, not just the huh.. sexy stuff, but also this. I don’t want you to hide this part of you from me, Tony. I.. I love you. You. Not you minus your… this. You, entirely.”, Peter almost whines, fighting back the tears again. He expected Tony to shush him orally, but no. Tony leans on and kisses him.

It’s a real kiss this time, not like the one Peter did just to make Tony breathe through his nose. Peter kisses him back. It’s slow, it’s loving, just the kind of kisses both of them need right now. Peter feels so good. When Tony breaks the kiss, still staring at Peter, the smile he got makes the boy wanna bury his head against his chest. “I love you too, Petey Pie. My smart boy…”, he whispers before giving Peter another small smack on his lips.

Then they both go back to lying down, cuddled against each other under the blankets. There’s a comfortable silence. But Peter breaks it again. “If there’s something you should feel sorry about is not alerting me when this happened, Tony. Please… Promise me you will next time. Please.”, he mumbles again, hiding his head in one of the blankets.

The boy hears Tony sighing, a silence, and then “Sorry. Im gonna let you know from now on… Promise, kiddo.”. Peter only raises his head up and kisses Tony’s cheeks.

“How did you know ?”

Shit.

“How did I know what ?”, he tries, dumbly.

“How did you know I was having a panic attack ?”, Tony clarifies. Peter didn’t need him too. He just, feels so stupid for this. It’s like, proving Tony how much everything in him just loves him.

The boy lowers his head down and murmurs a faint “It’s… It’s a huh… spidey sense thing. I kinda can… feel when you… when you’re not okay or stuff.”. Admitting it makes his cheeks turn red again.

But Tony only cups his cheek with his warm hand, raising Peter’s head again so he can look at Tony’s eyes. “Baby… You have no idea what knowing that just did to me. I love you, Peter. My heart is yours.”, the man says in all honesty, feeling way too many emotions at once.

Hearing that almost makes Peter cries. He’s happy. He’s in love. “So hold me forever.”, he whispers before Tony just surrounds him with his own warm body and blankets.

🌙

for @starkerfestivals 😋💖 hope yall enjoyed it, this one is somehow personal because i had the idea to write it after a period where i had a lot of heart palpitations

#starker #tw : panick attack #tw : heart palpitations #tw : anxiety #leah writes sometimes #starkerfestivals #starkerfestivalsevents #starker festival summer bingo #sfsummerbingo21

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moonchildridden · 3 years

Text

PuthKaeng, the green&red couple: Daddy&Papi, mysterious man and lots of dots, everywhere

Hello, beautiful people! It’s moonchild here and I hope none of you are tire of having to read the things I write because here I am, again, to talk about the only thing that gives me strength and energy to leave my bed in the morning, and the only couple that matters: PuthKaeng.

Being honest, I had hopes that those two long ass analysis would be the last thing I would do related to them and would final begin to think about writing a fanfiction about them (yes, your resident analyst is a writer) but then, because they can’t seem to leave me alone and let me breath for five minutes, a special episode came out and my brain went back to work in overdrive and started analyzing everything. I hate my brain sometimes.

Anyways. I would like to say that this won’t (hopefully) be a long analysis just like the others, only a commentary of the episode in general, me connecting the revelations we had about the “mysterious man” and what were presented to us in the main arc of their story and me rambling in between, just because I can. Granted, the main focus of this post is to talk about the main focus of the special, which was to know who the mysterious man was, but that doesn’t stop us from talking about other things in the episode as well.

When it was announced that we would have something about PuthKaeng again, it was in the guise of being an extra scene and I rushed to finish my main analysis because I was afraid that whatever was in said extra scene would throw a lot of monkey wrenches on my theories that I was writing but unfortunately that didn’t happened, because the universe hates me sometimes. However, the universe also loves me because what we all thought would be a simple extra scene became a fucking 10 MINUTE SPECIAL EPISODE! Not only that, it gave me everything I wanted to see with them, and an opportunity to see them again in new things (P’Chewin, I know you have a series of them ready, give it to me).

The special episode was just beautiful and amazing, cute, pillow-biting, intense, sensual and perfect, all in once. Their chemistry was point, their acting skills were on point, the deliverance of feelings and usage of body language was on point, a solid 10/10 in my book. I would give those 10 minutes an award if I could, but because I can’t, I’m gonna talk about it the best I can.

A small disclaimer before I start: because the episode didn’t came with official subtitles (Ais Play/Copy A hates us, for sure), I had to search on YouTube for translations and found two, one of the entire episode and other of the first two and a half minutes. I’ll go back and forth between those two translations, especially when talking about the first minutes, because the translations are a bit different and convey different things, even if the context is the same. Just so you guys don’t find it weird having screenshots with different fonts.

1. I’m addicted, I’m addicted only…

The episode opens with PuthKaeng in the same room, Kaeng busy doing something on his working table (probably something school related) and Puth playing videogames.

The fact that they seem so comfortable being in the same space, each one doing something on their own, shows that they’ve established some sort of routine and just by being in the same geographic space is enough for them. Puth then receives a phone call and Kaeng at first didn’t seem to pay attention but turned around as soon as he heard the person on the other side of the call ask Puth “where he was?”, to what Puth answered that he was in “his boyfriend’s room” while looking at Kaeng. The caller asks Puth to “hang out/meet up”, making Kaeng arch an eyebrow, and Puth, while still looking at Kaeng, says that “he’s not going, because he wants to be with his boyfriend” and after that ends the call.

The fact that he didn’t said Kaeng’s name and simply said “my boyfriend’s room” and “stay with my boyfriend” and the other person didn’t asked who said boyfriend was or made a big thing out of that, considering Puth’s past reputation, means that the person that called him knows exactly who that boyfriend was and that PuthKaeng’s relationship is not a secret to anyone. Also, the way the word “boyfriend” rolled out of Puth’s tongue, so easily, it shows that he’s proud to have someone to call boyfriend and have the opportunity to spend time with his boyfriend. Just…the happiness energy he pours in those 30 seconds-ish of call is overwhelming.

After Puth puts down his phone and looks back at Kaeng, who is looking at Puth with a weird expression on his face, he get up his chair and goes to him, asking “what’s wrong, papi?” (I shit you not, when I heard that on the episode I blushed and almost screamed because it was so cute it gave diabetes) and Kaeng asked “why you (daddy) didn’t go?” (Puth calling Kaeng “papi” was one thing I was not ready to go through but Kaeng calling Puth “daddy” and find out those are the pet names they use with each other was the death of me. God, please receive my soul in heaven), receiving a “how can I go, I wanna stay here with you” as answer from Puth.

Kaeng says to Puth that his explanation is a “lie” and that “Puth wants to go, he can see it/he knows Puth very well” and Puth admits that, with a “sometimes, because he used to hang out a lot” but Kaeng says a soft, and jokingly, “I’m sulking now”, and after Puth asks Kaeng if he “isn’t bored of staying in the room?” because he “used to hang out a lot too”, Kaeng makes the CUTEST FACE EVER (pause to see how Kaeng’s eyes GLOW when he’s looking at Puth. Seriously, how much love can that guy keep in his eyes, for them to shine like that?) and says that “he’s not used like Puth but he’s never bored of Puth” and then they kiss.

This exchange makes me think that they are in the first weeks of dating and still trying to get used to the idea of being a couple (not that the way they were acting with each other before had any difference except the fact that they were not official but whatever), finding a common ground and a safe/comfort zone where they could stand and feel stable. New relationships are always that, new, and it takes time to get fully accustomed with them, let alone feel stable; it helps the fact that they are friends and knew basic things about each other, so now what they need to do is try to know about each other not as friends but as significant others. That’s why they like to spend time with each other and enjoy all the time they have together, to get to know what the other is like, as a boyfriend.

(Before I continue, please appreciate Kaeng being totally baby. Thank you)

After the kiss, Puth ask Kaeng if they “should find something to do?”, Kaeng, having understood something else with his question (I don’t blame him, the way Puth was touching his arm, I would’ve thought the same too) asks “here?” and after Puth said “yes”, Kaeng hits him lightly on the chest and complains that “he’s still sore” (not that I needed it that but PuthKaeng versatile confirmed in only one sentence). Puth then says that Kaeng “is thinking too much” and that he meant “go and find something fun to do”. Kaeng seems uncertain about that but, as we see next, he obliged.

And the date…guys, the date! Do you guys remember that Puth that didn’t wanted to anyone to know that he and Kaeng were sleeping together? That Puth that denied vehemently that he was dating Kaeng (at the time, he was right), made shitty excuses to Mon so he couldn’t pry for more details about what Kaeng had done to him in the night he went to their room? That Puth that didn’t even wanted to be see publically with Kaeng? Well, that Puth is now walking on the streets, holding his boyfriend’s hands and oozing happiness. Seriously, the way he smiles every time he looks at Kaeng, his body language showing that he’s totally relaxed with Kaeng on his side, the way they are having fun together, even with a simple thing as an ice cream cone that they can’t hold, is so fullfiling to watch because it shows that they are happy together. And Kaeng’s eye smile…he looks so cute and happy at the same time, it hurts seeing him so happy. They are soft with each other, feel happy with each other, feel good having each other as someone to spend time with, it just screams domesticity. They are that couple, people.

And look how Puth just throw his head back while laughing. I remember seeing somewhere, years ago, that when someone laughs that way while they are with you, it means they are really having fun. And remembering that made this scene 100x better.

2. My entire heart, all of it that I have inside is for you

Fast forward, we have PuthKaeng in a hotel room and the first thing I noticed is that they were holding hands (remember what I said about them always holding in intimate moments, back when they were only friends and how I always liked to think that it was something theirs, that they only did that with each other and how it sounded too…hum…how do I put this…not something that people that were not dating, especially players, would do? Yeah) and looking at each other (always the eye contact, people. This bitches been acting like a couple since the beginning), acting like the world were theirs and theirs alone.

Kaeng looked at Puth from head to toe while Puth takes off the robe Kaeng was wearing and then Kaeng took off Puth’s robe but did that while he was doing that he started to kneel down and was ready to give Puth a blowjob but Puth stopped him before Kaeng could even do something about it. The way Kaeng didn’t disconnected his hands from Puth’s body shows that he enjoys feeling physically connected with the other man, in every opportunity he could get (I think that his behavior on episode 9 made that pretty clear but is never wrong to bring that fact back); Puth then asked why Kaeng was rushing things and Kaeng said that he was just warming up, before sharing a nose kiss and Kaeng kiss Puth’s nose (bringing back all the kisses from the main arc back and my thoughts about them being confirmed. Coming full circle here, people. Coming full circle!).

Kaeng’s statement about “being happy today” was something that even if he hadn’t told Puth, I’m pretty sure Puth could see that written all over his face, because the man was glowing with happiness like a Christmas tree in the middle of a shopping mall. After the Puth’s teasing about Kaeng being happy because he could “eat”, Kaeng asking if he could “eat tonight”, Puth saying that “tonight, he could only taste a little” and Kaeng pretending to “bite” Puth (they are talking about sex, people, nothing extraordinary here), Puth says that he would be back in a minute and then leaves the small bathroom (?) they were and this is where things start to get interesting.

[A bit of a backstory about this: when the announcement of the “extra scene” came and people were excited to know who the “mysterious man” was, I became confused because I had no idea of what people were talking about. Even after someone commented about the mysterious man being about the man who sent that message to Kaeng on episode 9, I was still confused because for me a friend of his had sent the message but brushed aside, for the perspective of having an extra scene of PuthKaeng was above any confusion.]

Puth grabs his phone, goes to site on the border of the bathtub and is then revealed that he is the mysterious man! Mind you, we all had that revelation in an episode without subtitles, but the fact that he was sending messages to a guy that was in the same room as he was and there was no names displayed on top of the messages to identify the people in the conversation was enough for us to understand what was happening. Remember when I said that they were still getting used to the idea of being a couple and that new relationships take time to become stable? Well, Puth may be super-duper happy and see that Kaeng is happy with him but is normal to have doubts if the person next to you is actually happy or pretending just to make you happy, so Puth had to have that extra confirmation, so he used something that seemingly would make Kaeng be 100% honest (notice that Puth only does that after Kaeng said that he was happy).

It had been a total twist receiving that information but then we had to have a double twist when after Kaeng said “I think we should stop talking” and the “mysterious man” asked “why?”, Kaeng comes out of the bathroom, walks rather sensually towards Puth and after sitting next to him answers the question with a “because I have a boyfriend now” and then shows his tongue to Puth. Puth, understandable surprised with that turn of events, asks Kaeng if he had “always know that it was him?”, receives a nod from Kaeng, so asks “how Kaeng found out? Had he peeked on his phone?” and then Kaeng delivers a triple twist by saying that “there’s only one person he knows who likes to text dot at the end of sentences in Thai”.

At that moment I was like “there’s no way that’s how Kaeng found out about Puth being the mysterious man”, so I went back to episodes 9 and 10, look for any moments where Puth sent any messages to confirm that he had that habit and there they were, clear as water, in EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE. I’m not saying that lightly, since the FIRST message that Puth sent in episode 9, which a reply to Nong Jumbo’s message about missing him, until the LAST message he sent, which was to Kaeng to tell him that he wanted to talk to him later, ALL had dots in the end.

That made my jaw drop because it is such a small detail, something we had in front of us the entire time, but never actually stopped to pay attention and it was that fucking small detail that made Kaeng caught him as soon as he sent a message, pretending to be someone else.

And the fact that Kaeng knew since the beginning that it was Puth brings forward two situations:

It is established that we started their main arc with Kaeng already liking Puth. And I said in the final part of my theory, in the timeline of events, that both of them had cut off contact with any potential sexual partners, so Kaeng only continued talking to the mysterious man because he knew it was Puth. If it weren’t for the inability of Puth for using fakes (seriously, that’s hilarious to be honest, being discovered because you like to use dots in the end of sentences. It’s like people knowing it’s me just because I never use abbreviations when I write messages. True story), Kaeng would’ve blocked him as soon the first message got in his Line account. Knowing that, no wonder he smiled after reading the message;

Puth sent the message, put down his phone and got back to the room whistling “Dear Friend”, a song that talks about someone having feelings for their friend, a situation they didn’t intended to happen. So, now we have a guy that receives a message from the other guy he likes, using a fake account, seeing said guy he likes, whom he just had two rounds, or possible more, of sex, getting back to the room whistling a song about a friend liking another friend. And considering that, in that scene, it was the first time we were introduced to that song in their story, it gives another meaning to everything, doesn’t?

Now, we need to understand why Puth resorted to such “extreme” measures to talk to Kaeng, if they were already talking normally and it’s not like any other person had access to his phone. If I hadn’t un-hold it the theory of Puth also liking Kaeng from the beginning, that specific scene of the revelation of him being the mysterious man would’ve make me do that on the spot. Taking in consideration that at the time of the unfolding of the events from episode 9 Puth thought that Kaeng was still sleeping around (even if he was suspecting of Kaeng having feelings for him), his own feelings had to be well hidden. However, feelings are sneaky little bitches that the longer you try to suppress them, stronger and hard to hide they become and Puth is an affectionate person with those he likes, so he needed to find a way of getting close to Kaeng without actually getting close to him and what better way of doing that than with a fake profile? That way Puth could’ve be a friend to Kaeng, probably even drop some hints about liking him and see how Kaeng would react to them, establish a connection with him and at the same time avoiding the possibility of getting his feelings rejected in real life, after all if Kaeng was still talking to other potential partners it wasn’t a good omen to him; like I said before, feelings made Puth really dirty.

So, the cat is out of the bag. Puth knows that Kaeng knows that he’s the mysterious man sending him messages and don’t know how to feel about that, so he says that “now Kaeng knows it all, how much he loves him” (adding credibility to my idea of Puth having using the fake account to show that he liked Kaeng) and Kaeng tells Puth that he “doesn’t need to be embarrassed, because it’s cute”, that “he likes it” and then to Puth to “try to speak like in the text” aka being romantic. After this, we had the single most emotionally devastating moment of the entire episode and the perfect way of ending a special episode: Puth looked at Kaeng like the man in front of him was the most precious treasure he had encounter in his life and it is possible to see how he also has Kaeng in his eyes, just like Kaeng have him in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, open and closes his mouth once before saying “Kaeng, I love you”, his eyes shining with love just like Kaeng’s eyes were shining with love in the beginning of the episode, and Kaeng reply with a “I love you too” before they kiss and the episode ends.

I highlighted Kaeng’s name in the love declaration because in this episode, this name had a special weight. Throughout the entirety of the episode, PuthKaeng always used “daddy” and “papi” to refer to themselves, a fact that made me feel more single than I already feel in a daily basis, but when the subject was to tell Kaeng how he feel about him, Puth preferred to use his name, in an almost reverent tone, and tell Kaeng that he loved him. And the way Kaeng’s eyes also shined after listening those words and the soft tone he used to answer Puth…honestly, I can’t deal with them anymore, I’m done.

PuthKaeng has a story more complex than we could’ve ever predict. They are men with complex personalities, insecurities even with their appearances of people secure of what they want, don’t know how to express their feelings but when they do, you know is not something superficial, is the reality. It took them a long time to be together, they almost lost the opportunity to experience the love they have for each other, cried, made mistakes and misunderstood a lot of things. But now that they are together, I am sure that they will make everything in their power to make it work, will solve their problems the best way they can, will continue to support each other, be their best partners, their safe zones and each other’s hearts. After all, the love the have is forever; and even beyond that.

#puth x kaeng #kaeng x puth #y destiny #theory #megapost

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