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humbledragon669 · 4 months

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S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P1 – The Garden of Eden (4004 BC), Mesopotamia (3004 BC), Golgotha (33 AD), Rome (42 AD) and the Kingdom of Wessex (537 AD)

Neil himself tells us (in the Introduction to the Script Book) that he wrote these historical scenes specifically for the show to ensure that the third part of the story was not entirely absent of our hero couple. Personally I think the sequence is one of my favourite parts of the show, not least because we get a pretty much uninterrupted set of Aziracrow conversations. They’re really rich in back story and I don’t think I’d be the only person to say that I’m really delighted they (mostly) made it to the final cut. Let’s get started – the plan is for this part to take us up to the end of the scene that takes place in 537 AD before I take a little break from write ups and dip my toe into fanfics again (I realise that might seem like an odd place to break, but it will make sense when I’m done).

So we’re back at the Garden of Eden, sans Crawly this time. The script version of this scene has Aziraphale locking up the gates to the Garden at this point. Instead, we see him putting a final brick in the Garden’s surrounding wall. I have seen some people say that this is him sealing the Garden shut, and that would fit with the script, but I just can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something inside the wall - the shape of the stone he’s using is irregular compared to everything else, and he seems at pains to keep its outline hidden during his conversation with God (which, interestingly, takes place directly with God and not through the Metatron). If he is indeed hiding something, I would very much like to know what it is.

God’s questioning of Aziraphale in this scene, enquiring as to where his flaming sword is (which it turns out he was specifically given to guard the Eastern Gate of Eden), is in all honesty pretty lacklustre - she leaves without getting any sort of answer from him (not that he’s likely to be able to give one with his beyond half-hearted attempts to find said sword) or giving any indication of her feelings on the matter. Bit odd if you ask me.

Crawly’s opening gambit of the conversation in this scene indicates to us that this is the first time Aziraphale and Crawly have seen each other since the Garden of Eden when he enquires as to the outcome of the angel giving his sword away. Despite 1000 years passing, Crawly recognises Aziraphale and they both remember each other’s names. Not only that, but Crawly still appears to be pretty enraptured – he watches Aziraphale’s face attentively during his attempt at small talk with a sort of doe-eyed flirty expression you might see on a teenage girl talking to their inappropriate (and usually doomed-to-failure) crush:

From this light-hearted adoration, we’re drawn swiftly into an interesting display of humanity of both of their parts. They’re both clearly very uncomfortable with what Heaven has planned.

Crawly makes it clear that there’s a line being crossed as far as he’s concerned here – the killing of innocents is very much NOT OK with him. And Aziraphale agrees with him, but we can see how painful he finds this dilemma: being torn between God’s plans (which must, he believes, be inherently good) and the morality of Heaven’s actions. He tries so hard to toe the company line, but the struggle is written all over his face and in his body language. As a last-ditch effort to prove which side he’s on (because as Crawly points out, this sort of thing is really more his side’s sort of thing), he even resorts to touting the old propaganda about the ineffable plan, but Crawly calls him out on that before he can even say it and Aziraphale knows the argument is lost.

I don’t doubt that we are meant to be reminded of Aziraphale’s actions the last time the two of them got caught in a rain shower when the rain starts in this scene. Unfortunately on this occasion, neither of them are in the position to whip out their wings to shelter one another.

In this scene we discover that after some 4000 years, our demon has changed his name to the one we are more familiar with. Interestingly the second of Aziraphale’s suggestions for some potentially appropriate names he could have adopted (Mephistopheles and Asmodeus) is the name of the king of demons according to Jewish legend. Whether this is a nod to Crowley’s perceived position in Hell’s hierarchy or the pedestal that Aziraphale has mentally placed him on is unclear. What is clear is that the angel seems quite taken with the demon’s actual choice.

Crowley shows his true colours here with the admission that he showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. This is an absolutely lovely thing to do for a young man who was tasked with carrying the burden of the sin of all of mankind and shows a level of compassion that most human beings wouldn’t be able to match – any doubts that this demon is truly “nice” at heart go out of the window with this revelation.

Let’s address the elephant in the room with this scene – what bug crawled up Crowley’s ass and died? He is in an absolute shitter of a mood here and we don’t get an explanation why. Despite Aziraphale’s clear delight at bumping into him (not surprising really, he looked bored as hell sitting at the table on his own), he seems decidedly unimpressed at the angel’s presence. I’m sure Aziraphale forgetting his newly adopted name (which suggests he was very accustomed to using the old one) and his ridiculous question about whether or not Crowley is still a demon doesn’t help matters, but Crowley is in a pisser before both of those things happen. Despite that, he doesn’t object to Aziraphale sitting down to drink with him, even if his face looks like he would rather be left well alone.

And there’s another, somewhat subtler, pachyderm lurking here too. This is the first time (chronologically) that we see Crowley wearing glasses to hide his eyes. In the scenes we have already seen in Mesopotamia and Golgotha, Crawly/Crowley wanders around, amongst humans, without the trademark sunglasses that we have become so familiar with. I consider this to be an interesting development on two fronts:

I have no doubt that Crowley wears sunglasses, in part, for practical reasons. I don’t think I’m being offensive in saying that if I saw another person walking around with eyes like his, it would definitely strike me as unusual. Some people, particularly at this time in history, might even be frightened by them. My question around the practicality side of this is when and why does Crowley decide to start hiding his eyes from humans? Does he do it to stop them from being frightened or more because he starts to become conscious of people being judgemental? Perhaps it’s a little of both, but mostly I’m keen to know if there’s a particular incident that brings his change of costume about.

We come to discover throughout the series that Crowley typically only removes his glasses in situations where he feels (or wants to make himself) emotionally available. What was it that caused him to start feeling that his eyes were a source of weakness for him? Did something specific happen that made him feel like he needed to start guarding that aspect of him?

I don’t think we are ever given any Clue towards when and/or why Crowley chooses to start wearing sunglasses, but I do feel like both of the above considerations provide hints to his ever-obvious inclination towards “human” qualities.

This is also the first time (chronologically, and at this point in the series) that we see both Aziraphale and Crowley imbibing anything. We’re also about to have confirmation that both of them also eat human food during Aziraphale’s terrible attempt at flirting making small talk.

Note Aziraphale says Petronius (who historically was a novelist, not a chef) does remarkable things to oysters, not with them, which would be more linguistically appropriate. I am also not ignorant of the fact that oysters are almost universally considered to be an aphrodisiac, so Aziraphale’s offer to take Crowley to an oyster restaurant is pretty loaded with subtext, and that sexual tension is about to get ramped up a notch with his offer to tempt the demon into dinner. The knowing look on Crowley’s face at this offer makes it clear that he doesn’t have an issue with that though:

I actually find myself wondering whether Crowley’s statement that he’s never eaten an oyster was really more of a hint for dinner invitation in the first place.

Crowley’s entrance into this scene intrigues me because it appears at first that he doesn’t recognise Aziraphale, despite his visor being open. I’m more inclined to believe that he does recognise him and decides to have a little fun pretending that he doesn’t, just to see if he can get away with it, seeing as he doesn’t look in the least bit surprised when he raises his own visor.

We start to get an idea of just how little Crowley believes in Hell’s ideals here. He’s also starting to realise the futility of sticking to their agenda, pointing out that wherever Heaven and Hell send agents to work against one another, they might as well not do anything at all, or at least that’s the case where he and Aziraphale are concerned. The whole of this conversation is very “work-related” in nature but very importantly it’s the first time we hear of any plans for the angel and demon to work together. It’s no surprise that, what with Aziraphale being the goody-two-shoes he is (no judgement, I am myself one of that tribe), he vehemently rejects the idea of lying in any capacity, not least to his superiors, despite the fact that he agrees with Crowley about their efforts to work against one another being pointless. According to the book, it took them another 500 years to act on this suggestion of working together – the “Arrangement” was first put into action in 1023. Ultimately, Crowley’s idea can only work if they both contribute so for the moment it looks like they’re both left hanging around in “damp places and just cancelling each other out”.

And so that brings me to my planned breakpoint. Again I realise that it might feel an odd place to stop, but I promise it will eventually make sense. And if you’re still with me after all my waffling so far, I commend you – I mostly did all this writing as a way to get the words and thoughts to stop chasing each other around my headspace but if someone else is getting some pleasure out of it all then that makes me happy. I am planning for the next write up to be a little different; covering ONLY the 1601 scene from Hard Times (any hopes that it might be shorter as a result are, I think, ill-conceived) as well as a meta-theory I have based on what happens in that scene. I’m hoping to have a fanfic based on that meta-theory written that I will be releasing at the same time, and there is some historical research I need to do before I can do that so there may be a small delay before I have everything ready to go. I hope you’ll humour me with patience, and that what comes out is worth the wait. See you on the other side!

#good omens #episode analysis #good omens season 1 #aziracrow #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #god is a woman #crowley's sunglasses #crawly #aziraphale loves food

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teecupangel · 1 year

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I come bearing Unity thoughts. How about Yew Branch style Desmond, but in Revolutionary France? And to just make things interesting... As one of the children of Marquis de Sade

Now, I am merely doing Sequence 5 so I have no idea if they show in the game. But! Consider Desmond low-key having fun at the expense of others. Even if it is only because he is bored, he knows who his father is (historically) and modern time sense of modesty does not measure up to those of his now-contemporary France

In short: Desmond finds Cafe de Theatre and has fun making Arno blush. By using modern style innuendo

Before we start, I will confess that I do plan to write a Yew Branch for August 26, Arno’s birthday, but it’s more or less set before Unity because… uuuhhh… plot reasons? XD

Anyway, I will say AC Unity has the easiest time to just kick Desmond anywhere we want because you can pick anyone from the Nomad Assassins in the companion app and bam, you have Desmond’s new identity.

Also, here’s Desmond being reborn as either Arno’s brother or Élise’s brother/twin and, while this is more focused on AC3, here’s Desmond being reborn as Marie Antoinette.

Okay, let’s set up Desmond’s life as Marquis de Sade’s son.

Now, we actually have two options for this (according to wiki):

Louis Marie de Sade (1767) would be a year older than Arno

Donatien Claude Armand de Sade (1769) would be a year younger than Arno

If you wanna go down the ‘Desmond gets a pussy’ route, there’s Madeleine Laure de Sade (1771) as well, but if we’re gonna give Arno some dick, then I like the idea of Madeleine being a secret fangirl who totally ships her brother (and maybe even her father) with that sexy hooded man.

(As far as I remember, they don’t show Marquis de Sade’s children in the game so we’re good to go)

Regardless of who we pick as Desmond’s new identity (an older man showing Arno the ‘ropes’ or a younger man who Arno believes to be the most dangerous of all… in a very different way), Arno’s in for a very… well… informative time of his life.

The de Sade Family:

Marquis de Sade doesn’t formally invites his children to his ‘new kingdom’ but he will welcome them nonetheless if they do join. He and his wife don’t really have a good relationship so he’s not that close to his children. Desmond would definitely be his favorite and, even if Desmond is reborn as his second son (if we’re going for the younger man route), he would still name Desmond as his heir and successor because, as far as he knows, Desmond is his ‘true child’.

Desmond doesn’t want any title or riches or whatever. He does, however, like Marquis de Sade. As a father? Far better than William Miles, hands down. But honestly? Desmond saw how the Marquis was lonely as not many people understood his ‘true self’. Desmond gets it though since he experimented a lot when he left the Farm and learned how sex could be quite enjoyable. Desmond actually knows more than Marquis de Sade and sorta-kinda acts as his proofreader.

In public, Desmond is considered to be polite and as noble as one gets, heavily leaning on Haytham Kenway’s remaining bleeds. In his father’s new kingdom though… total dom. Known to be the bored prince and there’s a lot of people that try to get his attention in any way they can. Desmond is usually just there to make sure his father doesn’t do anything actually illegal or every ‘depravity’ he does would be done with consent on all sides. He does disappear as soon as his father starts… really going because, yeah, he doesn’t have a kink for that one.

The brother we don’t choose will have an inferiority complex against Desmond and think that Desmond is a depraved sick bastard. But he will also remember how kind and understanding Desmond was to him when they were children. Hell, he was still kind to him even when it’s clear that he was trying to bully him (Desmond just thinks it’s cute he thinks he could bully Desmond). This conflicting feelings make him ignore everything that Desmond does in their father’s kingdom while trying to protect both him and their father as much as he could. He would insist he’s protecting the family name though. (His kink is definitely a form of cuckolding)

Desmond’s mother would be distant and ignore all of her children (except maybe her daughter) because the whole relationship was just to keep the power among the nobles so there’s no love lost anywhere. Desmond doesn’t feel anything for her and, yeah, there’s some childish pain there, but he’s good at ignoring his unresolved feelings for his parents at this point anyway.

Madeleine is Desmond’s favorite sibling and she’s quite spoiled. Desmond’s influence makes her more open to their father’s preferences but she’s quite reserve about it, blushing whenever she tries to open up and ends up just going ‘never mind’. Desmond gives her a more clinical explanation to these kinds of things in a form of a notebook of some sort because he thought she would be too embarrassed and awkward if he directly talked to her. This leads her to the path of voyeurism and enjoying erotica so… well… you win some, you lose some. She joins her brother in visiting their father in secret though, because if words got out that the young de Sade girl was a deviant, she’ll be ruined in the eyes of the nobility. Their father and Desmond just go “it’ll be fine.” because they’re actual deviants (by 17th~18th century standard anyway)

His father and sister are the main reason why Desmond stayed in France. He could have gone to America as soon as he turned 13 (maybe even 10 if he was really determined enough) but he didn’t because he didn’t want to leave his little sister and someone has to look after his father without judgmental eyes.

Desmond does, however, send money and supplies to Davenport manor, disguising it as an investment or some sort although the American Brotherhood knows he’s an ally of some kind. He is also Ratonhnhaké:ton’s pen pal.

Arno and Desmond’s Relationship

Arno would see Desmond as a beautiful mysterious man tempting him at every chance. The way he moves, the way he speaks, the way he looks at Arno. It makes Arno feel a lot of things that he had never felt before and he is torn between remaining loyal to Élise who is always running (not from him, Arno doesn’t think that, she’s not… is she?) or finally taking a bite of the fruit the devil keeps dangling in front of him.

Desmond… knows Arno has a crush on him but he actually doesn’t act all that different. He might have a soft spot for Arno because he’s an Assassin who clearly needs help and maybe he pays more attention to Arno than the men and women throwing themselves at the bored prince but, let’s be clear, Desmond isn’t trying to lead him on. He’s flirting with him but it’s more on the side of “I’ve been a bartender far too long that flirting on an easy mark is more of an unconscious choice because I might get more tips” than actual serious flirting.

Unfortunately, Desmond doesn’t know that Arno is having a very confusing bisexual awakening that’s only amped up by all the usual 17th~18th century repression thing soooo, yeah, Desmond doesn’t know he’s affecting the young man more than he was thinking.

Marquis de Sade definitely wants Arno to join in. With him or with his son, he doesn’t care, Arno is just a wonderful specimen to be left in that uptight boring world. He also knows Arno’s ‘crush’ on his son, he keeps pushing him to his son though because that would be fun.

In other words, Desmond is unintentionally creating a love triangle that he honestly have no time or desire to be part of. He doesn’t know about Élise! He honestly thought Arno is single (“He has that pathetic wet virgin kitty vibe to him.” “I don’t think he’s a virgin, my boy.” “Oh, definitely not. Maybe it’ll be better to say he’s ‘pure’?” “Ah. Well then, have fun corrupting him.” “We’ll see, father.”)

Once Desmond learns of Élise, he’ll back off (and even feel a bit icky because he was unintentionally becoming the ‘hoe who the asshole cheated on’) and it’s… it’s gonna get messy, especially considering Desmond’s inclusion in Arno’s life makes Arno wonder if he and Élise are even still together or if… his love for Élise was true and not something twisted by his lonely childhood and his ‘abandonment’ issues.

Oh shit. I just turned this smutty fic idea to angst, abort, abort, abort.

If Desmond and Arno will have a relationship, it’ll be after Dead Kings DLC.

You know what would be funny?

If Arno realized he wasn’t just sexually attracted to Desmond but was in love with him during the ending parts of Dead Kings when he finally accepts Élise’s death.

Then when he returned to Paris?

He learned that Desmond had taken his sister to America and now…

Arno thinks Desmond is the one who got away.

(“Arno, I can’t believe I’m saying this… you can follow him to America. He’s literally living with the American Brotherhood. We know where he is.” “I have missed my chance. There is nothing left for me to do.” “Oh my god. Someone just chokes this drama queen unconscious so we can ship his ass to America!”)

#whiplash!#sorta #now i’m just imagining desmond teaching arno lots of kinks #then writing about it to his sister #who acts like ‘yeeessss my favorite author added a new chapter!’#maybe his sister can marry one of ratonhnhaké:ton’s son #idk #arno’s gonna be dragged into a ship just to get his ass into gear #arno is a human disaster of a virgo #and no one can tell me otherwise #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #arno dorian #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #what are we calling this pairing?#arndes #desarn

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softness-and-shattering · 3 months

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Requisite grouch about the representation of embroidery, particularly in Bridgerton. Season 3, Im just getting to. So I get the point of this little scene is "Eloise is not interested in conventional feminine topics and doesnt fit in with her peers, and we are doing this by showing disdain for embroidery" and I fully get that in the cultural consciousness embroidery is this frivolous nonsense that rich women did to keep busy and isnt worth anything.

But two things. One, as Ive said before, the Bridgerton costuming is full of embroidery, of the kind that has to be machine made. And Im not gonna talk about historical accuracy because I consider the costuming part of the shows premise ie something you just have to accept to enjoy the show because its central. Like you cant enjoy Dungeon Meshi if you have to know how its possible for magic and dungeons to exist, you just have to accept that its part of the setting.

So either the seamstress has a few machines shes using for the lavish embroidery or her cloth is extravagantly expensive beyond all reason. LIke even more than youre already thinking.

And these women are surrounded by it, making their trade with it, its literally built into their fashion. So scorn for it makes zero sense. Second, in this scene in particular at the ball. The dialogue goes, almost exactly:

"Well the leaf stitch is tried and true"

[I think Eloise says something]

"Then theres the running stitch, the straight stitch, the fern stitch, the French knot -"

"What's your favourite stitch Eloise?"

This is not how people talk about embroidery! Its not exciting because of the stitches that exist, its exciting for how you use the stitches and what shapes and textures you can make, and how you manipulate the thread and fabric to create all kinds of interesting effects and patterns. And I fully understand that someone can be bored by that, its not for everyone. Im just mad that their "this is a normal conversation about embroidery" is listing stitching and asking someone their favourite. They could have done something like

"I just learned a new stitch, its called the split stitch, and it has this really cool effect that makes the thread look like its knitted, so Im embroidering my dog with this technique to really capture his fur, and im using French knots for his little beady eyes, and then Im gonna use the split stitch and this gorgeous russet floss to make him the coziest little sweater!"

"Oh my god I do not want to hear another thing about your thread dog and its fake thready sweater."

Thats like, a real conversation someone might have that someone else could find boring, and its respectful - and realistic - to the hobby and craft and art of embroidery! It sounds like something a human might say. Not "here are some stitch names, wait why are you being rude?". Its like imitating a conversation about someones dog like "and he has paws and his paws have nails and then he has knees and then he has two eyes and a tail" thats not how people talk about dogs! you might see "his tail is so waggy, and his eyes are so soulful, and his little feet are the cutest thing, let me tell you a story -". We couldve had a story about an embroidery mishap, that could be funny.

but no we must hold onto old outdated and sexist ideas about things and disdain them for no good reason while our costume department is embroidering everything because lets not examine any of our attitudes about anything!

The worst was still the dressmaker last season complaining about ladies and their embroidery MAAM THATS LITERALLY YOUR JOB. Ok now I can go back to watching for the pretties. And I very much admire Colin's big swooshy coat.

Im also trying to work out if Cressida is sapphic. Eloise and Pen absolutely have "middle grade sapphic friends have strangely intense friendship and then huge strangely intense breakup fight," and looks like Pen is bi, but Im really hoping they properly go into queer themes with Eloise and not just sign her up for a guy later. Also pretty sure the latest Bridgerton this season - Francesca? - is ace. Big ace vibes on her.

Swooshy coat!!

#mine #review #dont want to tag main bridgerton cause its mostly a complain post #not sure how to tag it for myself #embroidery vent #lets try that

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lemonhemlock · 9 months

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So I don't know how unpopular of an opinion this is lmao, since I am a dirty neutral and not on either team green or team black, but the perception of Otto from both sides is very interesting and weird to me. This is related to your other asks about how the fandom refuses to engage with the medieval feudal setting and is constantly projecting modern sensibilities. I see Otto get called one of the worst men in the series, a pimp, etc. and I just.....don't get it? And do not see it that way.

Noble parents' main job was quite literally to make the best marriage match possible for their kids. Why settle for a mere lord/minor noble when Otto could get the literal king of the 7K for his daughter? Yes, he was quite older than her (in the show, in the book the age gap was not a big deal at all she was 18 and Viserys 30 iirc), etc. but a vast majority of nobles would want an older king for their daughter than a young minor noble that doesn't bring much to the plate? Is it fair to the kids? Who may want to marry for love, or a more age appropriate match? Sure, but......marriage is a business deal, a way to bring two houses together and merge bloodlines. Also, just realistically, a lot of these nobles' daughters in real life would have preferred a wealthier, more powerful noble or a minor lord as well. A woman's power is first derived from her father, and then her husband.

I'm a history buff and have read/studied this time period since I was a pre-teen and have been watching historical dramas for decades at this point. Otto really isn't some unique 'evil' or an 'evil' at all, he played the game and won by nabbing a king for his daughter. For a franchise built off of smartly 'playing the game of thrones' it's hilarious how Otto is demonized for this by both teams. Also, how was Otto supposed to predict that Viserys would be the one king in the history of monarchy in the 7K to pass over multiple trueborn sons for his faildaughter (Rhaenyra still being heir after Aegon's birth is nothing but the most unrealistic, laughable, Mary Sue plot armor by GRRM lol). For all intents and purposes, Otto should have won and Hightower blood should have gone to sit the throne for generations.

No, I quite agree with you, anon, and argued the same in the past. Otto is far from the moustache-twirling villain the fandom paints him as. He is also a second son and he has to hustle for his social status to an extent. Yes, his family is rich and that will take him far in society, but he does actually hold a job. His daughter marrying the King is quite the victory. Of course, like you said, he couldn't have known that Viserys would really keep Rhaenyra as the nominal heir - even in the show this is specifically shown to be not expected in the slightest, not just by Otto, but by the court as well. And, of course, he couldn't have known that show!Viserys would turn into the ultimate leper and have half his face fall off by the time of his agonising death. When Viserys married Alicent, he seemed a healthy man, not decrepit at all, reasonable and with a kind and jolly disposition.

Was this 100% in Alicent's benefit? Of course not, we've seen a version of her on screen that painfully suffered in a society that doesn't allow for the exploration of her sexuality. But it very well could have gone differently. In the books, there is a smaller age difference, Viserys' weight causes him health issues, yes, but he isn't actively decomposing, Alicent isn't a lesbian woman pining after her step-daughter, who is quite a different age than her, and she doesn't seem so miserable in her marriage to Viserys. He also doesn't continuously ignore his children with Alicent; at least with Helaena and her children he maintains a warm relationship, so there's no reason to think he was pretending his other three sons don't exist.

Does that mean that book!Viserys' marriage with book!Alicent was perfect, to completely exonerate Otto? Probably not, he still didn't name Aegon his heir, but it's a different, ~better outcome than the show, at least for the duration of Alicent's stint as queen consort.

#ask #anon #otto hightower #alicent hightower #viserys i targaryen

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trickstarbrave · 2 years

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exploring elder scrolls lore is a lot like playing historian and theologian. its interesting, complex, and contradictory in ways many media tries and fails to create realism. it is told primarily through unreliable narrators, in game texts that contradict each other as much as they agree, with varying opinions and perspectives you are tasks to sort through and come to your own conclusion on often enough. sure, skyrim drops the ball sending you on infinite annoying fetch quests and plots that feel like they dont even effect the world around you and killing a god has about the same weight as getting a cool sword, but there is still some meat behind the bland surface they couldn’t quite scrape out despite their best efforts.

the problem with it i find, like most fantasy stories and epic tales, is that is male focused.

“but brave” people cry “female characters do things all the time!” this is true, we do actually have more substantial female characters in the elder scrolls who are just as important as their male counterparts. sure their male counterparts are usually not important at all, but there is equality in there. and you can be bi presumably because bethesda couldnt figure out how to code any other sexuality in the game. but what i mean by “male focused” is that most of the lore and mythos we get concerns male heroes, battles, and war. there are politics sure, but mostly things like religion and battles. the importance of textiles is never considered, different cuisines are afterthoughts, fashion is relegated mostly to armor and cheap trinkets for you to enchant. if it does not exist to further grand tales of combat, is largely ignored, and this is increasingly more and more the norm in the elder scrolls.

it isnt entirely non-existent. if you go looking you can find bits and pieces. but most things presumed to be “women’s work” are largely ignored despite making up most of daily life. weaving isn’t a skill you can learn when historically we do see people wear armor made of linen, but you can sure mine and melt down metal, something also mundane and usually boring, because blacksmithing and mining are seen as a traditionally masculine jobs. so saying “ugh no one wants to spin thread” doesn’t exactly hold up when its equally as boring to make dozens of iron ingots and iron daggers to level up smithing.

it’s also just a shame because (and this is touched upon more in older games at least) what clothes people wear can tell a lot about their culture, background, and class. it could be used for stealth, for blending in, and if you are dressed incorrectly you look like and are treated like an outsider. how food varies region by region shows what food they have available to them, what they produce, what goods are more expensive, and also can talk about background and class. riften and solitude should not be eating largely the same food just with different mead. nor should they be mostly dressed the same. these things add richness and complexity to a world that is now largely ignored because who gives a shit just pick up a weapon and fight that’s all that really matters.

skyrim in lore has sheep. of course it does, because they live in a cold climate with a limited growing season, they have devote more time for crops to feed their people and not on textile crops like you might see in warmer climates with longer growing seasons. yet you dont see any sheep, just goats. you don’t see shepherds, or hear about them. you dont see piles of wool, or women spinning thread by the fire or weaving. you don’t see them dyeing yarn or fabric or sewing clothes. even if you don’t want to make your player do it as a game mechanic you could have it be present in the world as a logical part of the setting just as you have npcs working in fields. instead clothes just magically appear in chests and other loot cabinets and are relatively worthless except to enchant despite fabric being a very expensive, labor intensive product to make. it just pops into existence anonymously, largely unimportant and uninteresting. they always say very little, and mean nothing unless you want to play dress up or enchant for a spell caster.

it’s not like the designers have never had to think about these things before. they have, at least subconsciously. fabric is still very clearly heavy and wool. it contains classic pop culture “viking” imagery (including some that are uhhhh very not historically accurate like men wearing women’s broaches), but that’s about it. why they dress like this is unanswered. how their ancestors dressed isn’t really important. how they vary from location to location is also not important, because large swaths of land obvious wear and eat the exact same thing, that’s why there is no regional food or styles of dress across all of europe /sarcasm

anyways throw a dog a fucking bone every now and then i am tired of constantly looking for lore that isnt about fighting and killing and breaking shit. what did they wear and why, how did jewelry evolve, what dyes do they have accessible to them and how rare are they, fabric weaving, gossiping, give me it back so the world feels slightly more alive.

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michelleelizabethtanner · 1 year

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Looking for some new AU Brio fic reccs, and you've got great taste so please share your thoughts with me

Hi Anon! Thank you for the ask. ❤️ I just feel that I’m one of the worst people to ask for AU recs because I haven’t read a lot of them. I’ve historically had such a canonic view of Brio that I had a hard time getting into AU. I’m working on it though! Slowly making my way through the backlog of AUs I missed out on.

I guess I can’t just keep repeating Both Sides of the Law and Delinquents, right? They’re just such rich worlds all in themselves. They almost don’t even need canon. Although, canon does lend them some additional color. But ok, if not these then…

I’m gonna keep repeating the Kingmaker series, which at this point is an AU. I was happy to see she updated a new piece in her series last night and thoroughly enjoyed the work, as I did all the rest. And I know, I keep saying it isn’t for everyone because this author really struggles with choosing what she wants Brio to be. But this work is SO underrated! This is such a beautifully written series of fics. If nothing else, read for the language and the author’s ability to world-build and characterize. I can SEE this universe. It isn’t just that she is able to emulate what the actors embodied. She is able to add value to her Rio character that has impacted the way I view canon. Her Rio is the Rio I see when I watch the performance. She understands her universe and her subjects on such a deep level that I believe who she’s made them be.

Another one I really loved was What a Sight to See. It’s a vampire AU where Beth is a vampire and Rio isn’t. What’s interesting is that the characters were still themselves. Their mannerisms, their speech patterns, their specific proclivities still made them very recognizably themselves. But the flipped power dynamic was perfection. Because Rio, as a mortal, was the vulnerable one in this scenario. And Beth had that quiet confidence of endless strength and power that was then challenged with something new to her — giving a shit about someone, loving someone. I found their relationship extremely emotional, and the outcome of it one of the most satisfying. The writing is always beautiful. “The inviting lift of her skirt, though, that's more of a revelation. All that pallid, pliant flesh; displayed for him. Rio can't not stride forward, grasp the opportunity…” I love this use of language to perfectly capture emotion with showing instead of telling. And how well it captures Rio’s inherent nature! “Grasp the opportunity.” Such a well-placed term.

The King’s Mistress is another good one. And smutty!! I don’t only read for smut, but I certainly love a well-placed pornographic scene. 😁 What I really love about this fic is the open vulnerability both Beth and Rio allow themselves in an AU setting. I don’t normally like too much openness from Beth in canonic works because I see that as OOC, but it’s certainly refreshing to see in a universe that has room for her that way. She doesn’t always have to be on guard. She can be soft sometimes.

I’m so not helpful with these recommendations. 😂 I just don’t have enough experience with the AU genre. In fact, I would be open to recommendations myself. I know several of you have given me some to try. I need to get to reading!

#fic recs #AU brio fics #I haven’t read a lot of AU #asks #nbc good girls

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rosewilsongf · 8 months

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Misc. Tag Game~ (thanks a lot for the tag, Emily @1waveshortofashipwreck!♡) started by @ronald-speirs

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited? - Well, I think my favorite has to be Australia. I was there for ANZAC day last year and the sights really took my breath away.

Something you’re proud of yourself for? - I'm quite proud of my determination and ability to be analytical. It's a really handy skill to have in my academics and in daily life. I just love analysis a lot, helps me feel more connected with the world as a whole.

Favorite books? - In no particular order, here are some books that have left an incredibly lasting impression on me:

The Things they Carried by Tim O'brien - (blurb taken from the internet) '[...] tells the story of the men of Alpha Company, a squad of soldiers in the Vietnam War. O'Brien cuts through the veil of romanticized war to show these men as heroic, flawed, loyal, afraid, and above all - human.' -> This book is nothing short of a masterpiece in my opinion.

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt -(blurb taken from the internet) 'Aged thirteen, Theo Decker, son of a devoted mother and a reckless, largely absent father, survives an accident that otherwise tears his life apart. Alone and rudderless in New York, he is taken in by the family of a wealthy friend. He is tormented by an unbearable longing for his mother, and down the years clings to the thing that most reminds him of her: a small, strangely captivating painting that ultimately draws him into the criminal underworld. As he grows up, Theo learns to glide between the drawing rooms of the rich and the dusty antiques store where he works. He is alienated and in love - and his talisman, the painting, places him at the centre of a narrowing, ever more dangerous circle.' -> Has a forever special place in my heart :)

Behind the Secret Window by Nelly S. Toll - (blurb taken from the internet) The autobiographical account of an eight-year-old Jewish girl as she hides from the Nazis in a small bedroom in Lwo+a7w, Poland, in 1943 contains twenty-nine examples of her many paintings during that period. -> I picked this up randomly because I liked the illustration on the cover...made me really emotional as I finished it

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - (blurb taken from the internet) Anna Karenina is a novel of unparalleled richness and complexity, set against the backdrop of Russian high society. Tolstoy charts the course of the doomed love affair between Anna, a beautiful married woman, and Count Vronsky, a wealthy army officer who pursues Anna after becoming infatuated with her at a ball. -> About over a year ago I listened to the audiobook during my bouts of insomnia and found that I quite enjoyed it

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it? - My very niche interests and dreams hehehe. A lot of it is historical related, of course. I love historical and vintage architecture and fashion, etc. My dream since middle school was to be a historian.

Favorite thing about your culture? - Hmm...perhaps the values of being fair and hardworking!

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched? - Pretty late last year, hahaha. My teacher did once show a clip of Band of Brothers in class once and it left quite an impression. Recently I started watching The Pacific. I've only had Eugene Sledge for five minutes but if anything happened to him I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite? - I'm reading Ambrose's book at the moment. I intend to get my hands on a copy of each of the others, too...especially Speirs'. @ronsparky 's posts really interested me

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them? - Eugene Roe and Shifty Powers my beloveds :( My favorite moment is perhaps when Doc Roe receives the chocolate from Renée for the first time and he smiles..I think my heart melted then and there. As for Shifty, it was when he spoke to Winters in the last episode. Again, I'm weak for that boy :( ♡

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content? - I mostly make content for Band of Brothers but I intend to branch out now that I'm getting pretty into The Pacific...I post some stuff from comic books I like from time to time on my instagram (mostly art).

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs? - I love Emma Stone and Audrey Hepburn!! I find them to be really witty and charming. They're quite my role models hehe (esp. Emma). I'd say for Emma Stone I'd prefer Easy A, and Roman Holiday for Audrey.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others? - "Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage" by Anais Nin is something I like to live by

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you? - I can't swim, guys

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader? - Most of the time I just write and then call it done. No beta, we die like men

Three things that make you smile? - 1. Sunlight 2. french windows 3. sunlight pouring in through french windows (all of which remind me of my younger years sighh) bonus: Christmas!

Any nicknames you like? - I like being called by my name usually but I particularly enjoy it when people call my by my last name, especially when followed by a 'Miss' . Something about it makes me want to chuckle in amusement

List some people you love to see around on tumblr! - All my moots and the entirety of the hbowar fandom, to be honest! Historical blogs, too! bonus: @pilferingapples @just-aloststar @myrthena @rknchan @foolsocracy @macau1ay are some personal favorites that I always enjoy seeing

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse? - I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try to survive which can be possible if you can be pragmatic and smart enough about it. I'd try to explore how far I can go, maybe try to enjoy a few lawless days or months, help out when I can.

Favorite movie? - Roman Holiday (1953). I watched it a long time ago, but it still has a special place in my heart. aaand Sleeping Beauty (1959).

Do you like horror movies? - I'm always a sucker for good horror movies

Again, thanks so much for the tag Emily! 🥰 No pressure tagging: @montied @roeinyourheart @vanellq77 @executethyself35 @star-trek-supernatural and anyone who'd like to give it a go

#this turned out lengthier than anticipated haha oops #ask game #vasilisa speaks #emily🌸

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convenientalias · 9 months

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2023 Dramas I Watched in 2023

Cdramas:

A League of Nobleman--Slashy historical mystery drama. I loved all the slashiness and all the intrigue and then in the last few episodes I fell even more in love with the villain. Worth a watch but not my favorite slashy historical mystery of the year.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook--My favorite slashy historical mystery drama of the year! Tho more wuxia than historical I suppose. Bromance and archnemeses and identity porn abound. The identity porn in particular was a special treat for me; a character wandering around all these ppl who care deeply about him or idolize him but all think he's dead is my catnip. (I technically have a few episodes left to go on this one but I'm still counting it bc I am very close.)

Parallel World--YE LIUXI. I did a review of this one here! The short version: urban fantasy and parallel worlds in a desert setting, with a badass amnesiac female protagonist.

The Lady and the Lies--Miniseries, one of those short-episode things that China's doing a lot of now. Involved a cheating husband and a wife out to get revenge. I'm sorry but I shipped the wife with almost every person doing her wrong. She should destroy their lives and also dom them. They're all kind of obsessed with her anyway, in their own way.

Under the Microscope--You ever sit down and say, "Okay, but what I REALLY want from all these historical dramas is to just dig into the tax fraud going on in the background"? Me too, my friend. This show and Long River, which I also watched this year, are all about logistics, bureaucracy, and corruption, and the small man's struggle against ppl in power. That makes them both kind of difficult watches in a way, but also fascinating. I have yet to finish Long River, but this one is an easy 14 episodes and not as emotionally draining, so it was much easier for me to binge through.

Ye Cheng--I must admit I watched this for the pretty people. It's set in a matriarchal fantasy wuxia setting, but the gender role reversal feels a little shallow when the strongest good guy and the strongest bad guy are both men, even tho in theory women are supposed to be the warriors in this setting. However, the role reversal can be quite interesting in some ways--watching the male MC run a brothel as the city's top entertainer, try to use his ~masculine wiles~ to charm the FMC in a way that would be more typically feminine, and deal with the power dynamics of joining the FMC's household. Also, the two leads are just a lot of fun and have a lot of chemistry. The plot is sometimes stupid, but it's still a lot of fun to watch. Also, this was one of just two dramas I managed to finish this year that were mostly romance focused. When you reach the "dropped" section you will see that this is an impressive feat.

Kdramas:

Bloodhounds--I love Woo Do-hwan and I love Park Sung-woong but you know I was here for the ACTION SCENES. PEOPLE PUNCHING EACH OTHER AND SLICING EACH OTHER WITH KNIVES. THATS WHAT ITS ABOUT. I've also written a lot of fanfic about the protagonist and villain at this point but honestly they should have interacted more, we were robbed.

Queen of Masks--The only rich woman thriller kdrama I completed this year. But honestly, when it comes to rich woman thriller kdramas, I've seen better and femslashier. Mine did a better job with the whole "your husband told you the mother of his child was dead, but guess what it's actually me and I'm still alive and here to cause problems" plotline, tho I still enjoyed it here. And the sexual assault aspect... eh. I don't love seeing that kind of plotline in a revenge story; it's such a serious issue (and so much more realistic than, say, "this businessman murdered my whole family to acquire our company" a la Eve) that it kind of makes it hard for me to enjoy the fun of the mystery. But I suppose the way they handled it at least had gravity. My favorite plotline was Hae-mi and her husband and the drama they got into, which is serious in its own way (addiction and lies) but extremely well acted and with so much romantic chemistry.

Revenant--Spooky spooky ghosts and Kim Tae-ri, what's not to like? The possession aspects were creepy without being gory or too terrifying for a wimp like me to handle. The acting was great. And I actually shipped the sort-of-romantic subplot, though apparently a lot of ppl shipped the two MCs instead, which is understandable.

Song of the Bandits--A whole ton of gunfighting and other action scenes. One very badass assassin woman, a dude who is equally capable of taking out a whole squad of soldiers or bandits on his own, a villain with a complicated relationship with the dude above, and a woman spying on the Japanese government who's in a sort of spy love triangle with the MC and the villain. the plot was okay but again I was mostly here for the action!!

Thai dramas:

My Dear Gangster Oppa--This year I tried to watch a bunch of different BL dramas bc I was in that kind of mood but the truth is, it's not the het that gets me in m/f romcoms, it's unfortunately the romcom. Despite that! I persisted and did manage to finish this one. The lead couple was cute, and there was gangster intrigue and action etc to keep the fluff and comedy from driving me insane. still mostly a romance.

To Sir With Love--Also has a BL romance in it but not really a romance drama but a Family Drama with lots of familial plotting, the classic first wife vs. second wife scheming-for-their-children plotline along with what could have been a love triangle between brothers... except Tian is gay, which means the love triangle is null (except he's still engaged to his brother's love interest. which is awkward for all involved.). Also Tian being gay is a Deep Dark Secret. There's a lot of homophobia which might turn some viewers off but I loved seeing Tian's struggle between wanting to come out and having been forced to stay in the closet for so long that he freezes even at the thought of telling people he trusts. Also his mother commits a bunch of murders with terrible poison mushrooms so if THAT'S what you want out of a Thai drama, there is also that. Also he and his brother are. so sweet. and I love them. but also the central m/m romance is very good and involves assassination attempts and identity porn and pining and everything good. Also also this is actually a 2022 drama BUT IM STILL COUNTING IT bc it came out in October 2022 and am I really supposed to get around to watching dramas that fast??

Started and dropped:

Kiseki: Dear to Me--Even gangsters and intrigue could not save me from dropping this romcom.

Our Blooming Youth--This is also a romcom. You may see a pattern here. But to give it credit it is quite a plotty historical drama too. I just didn't really care about the two leads and dropped it halfway through.

Pandora: Beneath the Paradise--A thriller that was going places a bit too wild and frustrating for me.

Killing Vote--Can you believe I dropped this with only four episodes to go? I'm sorry Park Sung-woong, I love you but the plot is just so boring. And it plays at moral complexity while being just. not very complex. Like I swear the morality in this thing is "catching bad guys and punishing them is good, not catching them and not punishing them is bad." We could be talking about police corruption, our MC's terrible ethics, innocence until proven guilty, and so on and so forth, but we were just not going there. Also the twists were doing very little for me and the cops are just not very interesting characters. Again, Park Sung-woong, I'm sorry, you were a decent character but you could not save this show. Let's be real I needed either more Devil Judge here or more Death Note.

Legend of Anle--The romcom element was not helping this show's case but I still tried for 1) wuxia with identity porn and 2) Dilraba Dilmurat costarring with Gong Jun. Unfortunately those two had no chemistry and the plot was just very unsatisfying for me in the political intrigue area. One example: Gong Jun can't find the supplies needed to pacify a near-rioting mob. But that's okay bc Anle's subordinates found it. How did they find the super secret hidden storehouse?? we don't know and will never find out bc it was offscreen and never explained. They just did. this would be fine if it weren't, like, the climax of the episode and presented as a victory of the two MC's brilliance. I can't deal with this.

Naughty Babe--It's. A romcom. I'm so sorry I probably should just stop trying.

Other romcoms I quit too fast to give a fair opinion: You Are Mine, Extremely Perilous Love, My Lethal Man, Taikan Yoho.

Well, there you have it, 2023 dramas I watched in 2023.

Fun as it was, I think in 2024 I'm going to try to catch up more with older dramas lols.

Did y'all watch any of these dramas this year?

#kdramas #cdramas #thai dramas #all in all a pretty good drama year #i enjoyed it

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devouringyourson · 1 month

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I'm curious what's your view on working in the film industry in general?

I've been in and out working in the costume/wardrobe dept for a few years now and am ready to call quits. I find it too unstable, stressful and underpaid, but i'm from a small country with an even tinier industry so idk how it is in london or hollywood?

I have a feeling like the entire industry is on it's knees, with the major drop in quality and the insane lifestyle that comes with the job imo steel nerves and rich parents are a must.

it's.. yeah i empathize with you a lot cos right now it's incredibly spotty and unstable especially for freelance crew. I can only talk for the UK but generally there was a big commissioning boom after COVID that gave everyone unrealistic expectations and lots of people (including myself joined the industry) now after the strikes every studio is playing it safe and there's just not the work for all of us and so many people are leaving or being pushed to breaking point. I do think departments like costume are the worst hit, especially as these have so many below the line female workers who depend on often only dailies. I would love to work in costume I have such a passion for costume design and construction but it's too insular and toxic I've stayed well clear haha

I've always been in production and started out in factual TV (which is generally a lot more chill but has suffered huge losses recently no one is commissioning and loads of unscripted indies in the regions have gone under) so haven't experienced the worst of the industry which imo seems to be freelance film crew. Especially in 'craft' areas as these are particularly unregulated and difficult to break into. There's increasing schemes but there's so much gatekeeping in costume, props, sfx, art etc which results in nepotism and abusive practices. Generally I've found the production management side a bit more stable and meritocratic as anyone can do office work but there's still so much nepotism and black listing going on. I've always managed to stay in-house which gives me some security and stable employment but it's still a waiting game to see if we're actually going to shoot anything this year or all be fired. Every film/show release feels it could flop and we'd all be gone tomorrow.

So yeah I'm kinda losing the will to live but I've been super lucky and have purposefully chosen the more boring routes that are more secure. I'm sure if I had rich parents I probably would've done something I'm passionate about and pursued screenwriting or directing or set design but that was never really an option for me so joined the industry in the only way I saw I could: the management side. I also never thought film was possible so aimed for local TV and just kinda ended up here by accident

It's definitely kinda awful but if anyone is discouraged I would still say that we're still living through a comparative historical boom in content (though it's shrinking) and a career is possible. There's a lot of access schemes and ways in if you want and if successful you can get a very good wage. It's just hard bloody work and kinda psychologically scarirng. I would always say just aim for what you can cope with. There's a lot more 'boring' options that are a lot less toxic (local TV, children's content, unscripted and then a lot of tangential work like film finance, marketing and management).

I don't wanna discourage people to try cos I feel like underrepresented voices is exactly what we desperately need to get some interesting storytelling 😭😭 I'm hopeful something's gotta give though as even though the studios are being super cowardly, consumer taste is at least changing and people are desperate for something new. People have just gotta try new things, support local and indie talent and stop watching bloody sequels (and also hot take actually watch films legally when they can)

#sorry long ass answer #but i enjoy discussing #also you asked about film and i went on about tv lmao but like film/hetv are the same crew nowadays its kinda broken that separation

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carriagelamp · 10 months

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My internet died for about half a week this month, so I had a really peaceful few days where I had an enforced excuse to do nothing but relax and read when I got home from work. It was incredibly zen and I really sank into my books that week.

The Call of the Wild

A classic novel that I’ve always meant to read. I was sick and headachy this month and decided that this was the perfect sort of relaxing, narratively rich book to listen to. I really enjoyed it, would recommend. It follows a dog named Buck who’s snatched from his home in southern California and is shipped off to work as a sled dog in the Yukon, where a need for strong dogs to help transport goods over the snow and ice makes them very valuable. Buck has to learn how to survive in this harsh environment as everything from the weather, his fellows dogs, and his human masters seem to fight against him.

A Complicated Love Story Set In Space // How To Bite Your Neighbour and Win A Wager

Putting these two together because my experience with them was pretty similar. For both I was intrigued by the title, got them from the library on a whim, and didn’t really mesh with either. I didn’t really get far enough in either to give much of a review, they just didn’t vibe. A Complicated Love Story Set In Space set up a scenario that didn’t really interest me — not surprising, I’m picky about my scifi — and How To Bite Your Neighbour and Win A Wager just had an… odd writing style to it. It very much feels like it’s main goal is to be a kinda horny about vampires which, if that’s what you want, all the power to you, but it’s wasn't doing it for me. I had to suspend way too much disbelief for the scenario to function.

Indiana Jones and the Cup of the Vampire // Indiana Jones and the Curse of Horror Island

A pair of choose your own adventure books I found at a used book sale. I picked them up out of sheer amusement, and they were basically what I expected and paid for: cheesy 1980s adventure stories with Indiana Jones as a nominal protagonist. They were both varying degrees of improbable, ridiculous, and racist so YMMV but they were fun to play with while I was down and out on the internet front.

The Kootenay Kidnapper

Eric Wilson is a classic Canadian author who writes children’s mystery/thriller novels. I’ve never read him before and decided to remedy that. At this point I choose to withhold judgement until I read another… I’m not sure how I felt about The Kootenay Kidnapper. It had some nice descriptive language, successfully raised the tension from time to time and made me really try to piece together who the villain was, but then also had some strange dead zones as well. The whole thing read a bit like a 1990s stranger danger PSA which was also… weirdly nostalgic? But also just weird. Would try another.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation comic v3

I continue to be a MDZS simp, this is not news.

The Radium Girls

I don’t read much nonfiction, but this book was so narrative in its writing that I seriously couldn’t put it down. Kate Moore took a historical event (the girls that were paid to paint watch dials with radium paint in the early 1900s) that had been written about in scientific and legal styles, and instead retells it with a primary focus on the girls themselves. You follow a variety of real life women over the decades and learn about the all the machinations that went into them being horrifically poisoned by radium, and how that changed the very foundation of American workplace safety. Super engaging, unspeakably appalling.

Scott Pilgrim v1/2

My brother and I started watching Scott Pilgrim Takes Off on Netflix and… wow, it is not what either of us was expecting but we are loving it. We’ve both been big Scott Pilgrim fans since the naughts. Since I haven’t reread the series in years I decided I should pick it up to help notice the differences between the original series and this new show — I have the big, coloured omnibus version, so I reread the first collection of stories which amounts to volume 1 and 2 of the original.

Scott Pilgrim is one of those comics that if you’ve somehow never read then you really need to, it’s one of my all-time favourites. It’s a story about Scott Pilgrim, a young adult who’s awkwardly trying to figure himself out, combining a coming-of-age slice-of-life with magical realism. The mysterious girl he meets, Ramona Flowers, can travel a subspace highway through Scott’s dreams — of course, don’t they teach Canadians how to do that? Huh, maybe it’s an American thing. Scott is known to be the best fighter in the province and when he defeats an enemy they explode into a pile of coins. One of the Evil Exes has Vegan Powers, and another can summon demonic back up dancers. This story just does whatever the fuck it likes and I adore it for that.

Heaven Official's Blessing v3/4

I continue to be TGCF simp, this is not— seriously, the series continues to be excellent and I only get more and more invested in not just Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, but also in the side characters that are introduced. I was thrilled to have Shi Qingxuan become a bigger player in book 4, and really liked the whole plot with the Venerable of Empty Words and Black Water. Please, someone, help this guy…

The Wind in the Willows

Another classic I had never read that I decided to pick up. It was excellent, I can see why it’s stayed so beloved over the years. Though I love a good cute-animals-in-lil-clothes-living-cute-lil-lives story, so I was an easy sell. It was much more tame than the likes of Redwall, but had a bit more going on than the likes of Brambly Hedge — it keeps you very engaged, but never raises the stakes so high that it stops feeling light and comforting. It is essentially a collection of stories that follow Mole and Rat, a pair of friends that live together on the river, through the seasons and the various misadventures they and their friends go on.

The Woman They Could Not Silence

Since I liked The Radium Girls I decided to pick up another one of Kate Moore’s books. This one follows a woman who was intentionally committed to an insane asylum by her husband, purely because she was intelligent and outspoken, refusing to be cowed to his opinions or beliefs. This story details her time in the insane asylum, the abuses that the patients suffered, and how she came to fight the laws that allowed for such abuses to be perpetuated in the first place. A fascinating read about a historical figure I had never heard about before.

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wondereads · 1 year

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Personal Review

The Scarlet Alchemist by Kylie Lee Baker

Summary

All her life, Zilan and her two cousins have been preparing for the exams that would grant them government positions. Zilan, who strives to become a royal alchemist, uses her abilities to raise the dead to fund their studies. She hates the rich clients she works for, who fear death so much they eat gold infused with the power of immortality to stop their aging. However, when comparing making gold for the rich to a life of powerlessness, she will put aside her morals for her future.

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The plot of this book is one of the best I've read in YA fantasy. While it starts with an exam and starts becoming more focused on rebellion, a not unheard of story in this genre, the way it is executed is simply amazing. The magic system and world, which really feels like historical China, pull you in, and there were so many good plot twists. While there might be some you're able to predict, there were plenty that completely knocked me off my feet. Then the material is a lot more mature and gory than one would expect from YA; it's visceral, and the consequences feel real.

The magic system of this book was perfect for this kind of story. There are rules and limitations introduced from the beginning that play a huge role in allowing those amazing plot twists to be executed. Also, I just find the inner workings of alchemy incredibly intriguing. The worldbuilding concerning the social situation of China during this alternate period also works really well for the plot. The decision to have the elixir of immortality imbued in gold was a great choice to both emphasize its wasteful, greedy nature and to exacerbate the wealth gap in a way that feels eerily similar to modern times.

Characters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Zilan is an amazing main character. It's quite common for YA books to have these hyper competent characters that are the best in their field. It's fun, but it can feel unrealistic and as if they don't really face many challenges. Zilan is incredibly skilled, and she can do things no one else can, but she has a lot to learn. Her time in the palace definitely shows that, and there are a lot of moments where she is too impulsive or simply doesn't know how to go about something. Her competency feels real with plenty of scenes exemplifying how hard she's worked, but she also learns throughout the book.

Zilan's relationship with her cousins, Yufei and Wenshu, so close they're more like siblings, was particularly interesting. One thing I really liked about this book was that although there is a romance subplot, most of the interpersonal conflict came from Zilan and her family. Their relationship is incredibly complex; they're obviously very close, but there are so many odd circumstances surrounding their lives that it can be hard to tell where they stand with each other, which is used for some very compelling conflict.

The aforementioned romance was pretty good in my opinion. I'd like to see it developed more, but I get the feeling that the kind of incomplete vibe I get from Zilan and Hong is on purpose. They're both at very vulnerable points in their lives, and they find comfort in each other, but they both have a lot of issues, and I really want to see how their relationship works in the second book. Finally, one of my favorite characters was the villain, Empress We Zetian. She is unapologetically evil, and she's truly terrifying. She didn't feel one-dimensional, but she was also totally irredeemable and a villain that really felt like a threat. She outsmarts Zilan on multiple occasions, and she really brought the more dark tone of the story into the spotlight.

Writing Style 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

The writing of this book was incredibly intense. It seems to prioritize modern readability over exactly matching the historical setting, but it rarely took me out of the story. This book honestly feels closer to NA than YA because of how dark and gory it was. As I mentioned previously, consequences in this book are horrifying and constant, taking a much more extreme turn than most YA books. There were moments where this book felt like it was verging on horror. For example, there is a scene where the empress and prince are eating gold in which they, while unchanged physically, become these voracious monsters, and it sent shivers down my spine.

I would say my one critique of this book would be that there are certain things that feel a little rushed. Trying not to spoil too much, that would be Zilan and Hong's situation, which sort of felt like it came out of nowhere, and when Zilan starts to take a more rebellious stand against the empress. However, it didn't detract from the enjoyability that much.

Overall 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

This book was absolutely stunning. The characters were amazing, the plot constantly took me by surprise, and the writing is a great blend of readable modern language and the intense style that usually accompanies fantasy. Zilan is an amazing main character; she’s competent without being perfect, she’s ruthless and driven without being completely heartless. Her cousins, Yufei and Wenshu, are particularly interesting, especially concerning their relationship with Zilan and how complicated it is. The love interest is a good balance to Zilan, though I hope to see their relationship develop more. Empress Zetian is a chilling and horrifying villain who is truly a terrifying opponent. The plot was constantly twisting and turning, keeping me on my toes, and while I found some moments a little too fast paced and would consider this more NA than YA, the overall quality of the story definitely makes me want to keep this at a full 10/10.

About the Author

Kylie Lee Baker: Japanese-Chinese-Irish-American, plays the cello, also wrote The Keeper of Night

About the Reviewer

My name is Wonderose, and I post a reading update every week with the occasional review and themed recommendation. I take suggestions, and you can check out my pinned post for more about me :)

#books #review #the scarlet alchemist #kylie lee baker #fantasy #ya #historical fiction #alchemy #alternate history #chinese history #we zetian #rebellion #tang dynasty #immortality #wealth inequality #fake relationship

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nothorses · 1 year

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Grey that video made me realize I really need to put a characterization significant horseriding scene into my Regency au but despite growing up around horses I don't know enough about them to know how to write characterization significant horseriding scenes.

If you were one half of the romantic couple from a Regency romance, and your love interest was reputedly wild and self-absorbed, what about his horsemanship would tell you that he is a Very Soft And Gentle And Caring Boy Actually?

Ooooh... I know way less about historical horse culture, but I can say that a lot of training techniques historically have been uhhh... not great! Positive reinforcement training (+R) is a fairly new thing (as a named concept in Western culture), but there have definitely always been people who see horses as complex creatures with rich inner lives, deserving of respect.

The adage itself is more recent, but "there are no problem horses, only problem riders" is fairly well-known; the idea that horses actively want to work with you, and that they want to be your partner, does go counter to a lot of western horse culture even today. Knowing that they're prey animals prone to fear as a primary survival skill, and that their reactions are largely going to be a push & pull between their trust in you vs. their fear of everything else, is so important to good horsemanship- and genuinely kind of uncommon! (Other problems are often a result of miscommunications, discomfort on the horse's part, or just being tired.)

You might consider putting him in direct contrast with common practices for a certain breed- again, my knowledge on historical horse stuff is limited! But the US specifically has, for example, the American Saddlebred; I won't get into the gory details, but historically there have been some common and expected practices (breaking/reshaping tails and placing weights on their feet, for example) that are genuinely, obviously cruel- even violent. If he owned a horse of a breed with expected practices like this, but refrained from participating in them, that might be a great "show don't tell" contrast you wouldn't need to over-explain (again, though, you'd maybe need to research this one yourself to find something relevant to the setting).

Definitely consider who owned these kinds of horses, though; those breeds tend to be for show, so owners would be wealthier, and having a horse from a show breed without meeting breed standards- even if they are violent towards the horse- would also likely automatically disqualify them from the shows they'd be bred and bought for in the first place. (Maybe he inherited it? Stole it from an employer?)

You could also have it be something as simple as like... choosing to lose a race (Thoroughbreds were new and popular at that time) because pushing the horse any further would risk its health and safety, which might also be applicable to foxhunting- but again, I'm not super knowledgeable in that area.

🤷‍♂️ there's probably a lot more! I'm honestly not super privy to that history, but hopefully there's some stuff there you can dig into more.

Good luck!!

#horses

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sweetbillwriting · 1 year

Text

This Is Bad, Billy -

Part 1 - Like In The Movies

Description: 1961. Joanie is a dreamer. She dreams of Hollywood, fashion and handsome men. Her favorite is the actor Billy Skarsgård. When she works as a volunteer at the hospital she meets him in an unexpected way and comes closer to him than she thought was possible.

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s L.A and a smaller town close to L.A.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse, drugs, religious themes, sexual themes.

The darkness of the movie theater was like a second home to me and I only left when I was forced to. It started with me and my father going to the cinema when my mom traveled away to help my older sister through her pregnancy. My dad and I didn't have so much to talk about so sitting in silence in a movie theater was perfect. We started out watching classics like The Wizard of Oz and Snow White but with time we started to watch the newest dramas and even some adventure movies. When My mom's travels to my sister became less and less my father's interest in the movies decreased but I was stuck. I couldn't just stop because I lived as much in the movies as I did in real life. When my father chose to do more important things than be with me I continued to go to the theater. My mother wasn't happy that I went by myself but after I graduated from high school I had time to go to the early showings and choose the darkness instead of the light of day. After I had celebrated my eighteenth birthday I could start watching all the movies I had just dreamt about and it was then I found him, Billy. Billy never played the good guy, he wasn't that dreamy perfect date Audrey Hepburn chose to kiss, Billy played the bad guy. In horror movies he played the murderer and in thrillers he was the rich guy you shouldn't trust. My fascination for him maybe sounded odd but right in that moment Billy was one of the more interesting actors and many girls dreamt about kissing his full lips. He was still so young, in his mid 20s, but already with a mysticism and poise as a man. But there was little information about him, probably because of his Swedish background and I wasn't even really sure how old he was and the tabloids seem to have the same problem. Billy was a mystery but became an even bigger mystery for me after I saw him on the psychiatric ward. Maybe it should have scared me seeing him there and having the cops all over him. He must have done something really bad for the police to treat him like that. Maybe he was a murderer just like the characters he played?

When I got home in the early morning after my shift at the hospital I took out the shoebox under my bed and looked through all the articles about celebrities I've saved. Even if Billy was my absolute favorite there weren't many with him. He wasn't the biggest name in cinema but it also seemed like he didn't want to share much about himself and on several questions he would answer "no comment". I had always seen that as proof of his star qualities but had now realized Billy probably just had things he wanted to stay in the shadows.

I wondered if I would see him again and when I slipped into bed with my curler in my bang and long sleeved nightgown I fantasized about meeting him again and how it all was a misunderstanding I could solve and as a thank you he would kiss me deeply like he kissed girls in the movies. I blushed to myself when I thought about his hand under my blouse but dragged a hand over my chest to feel how it might feel to let a boy that close.

My mother could never learn to let me sleep in after a night shift and woke me up at nine a clock, after just three hours of sleep.

"You can't sleep away the whole day. Do you want scramble eggs for breakfast?" She asked after she had dragged me out of bed and then she began to make my bed. I whined loudly and thought about my weird dream about Billy Skarsgård. That he was a patient in the psychiatric ward. I stood tiredly in the middle of the floor while my mother laid out a dress for me on the bed as if I were a kid. She had chosen the yellow one I hated because it was much longer than my other dresses and I didn't even show collarbones wearing it. It was a dress for a high school girl, not a grown woman like me.

While putting on the dress and doing my hair in a high ponytail I thought back to the dream and realized it actually wasn't a dream. The odd experience had actually happened. Earlier it had felt like a pain to go back to the hospital with all the jealous girls and grumpy doctor's but now I looked forward to it and started to plan how I would be able to go back to the psychiatric ward. Maybe I was just as insane as the patients there but I just thought about Billy's smile towards me and his broad back clad in black leather.

This could be an adventure of a lifetime. Just like in the movies.

×××

The reception room at the psychiatric ward looked the same as the night before, just as empty and silent but this time there was a younger woman sitting at the desk. Also she read, but a novel this time. It looked like something cheap and romantic, a book my mother would never let me read.

"Excuse me, is Mrs. Larsen here tonight?"

The woman looked up at me with an embarrassed face and I couldn't stop wondering what she actually just had been reading.

"Yes, if you sit down I can get her for you?"

I smiled and waved a little with the striped apron I had on.

"I work here so I can look by myself?"

"Okay. I mean, yes. I think she is in her office, it's past the staff room." The woman said while she stood up from the desk and locked up the door to the ward's long corridor.

I smiled a little and tried to look more confident than I was when I walked into the corridor. In my head I repeated the same two words over and over to feel more sure about myself:

Doctor's daughter. Doctor's daughter. Doctor's daughter.

Nothing bad would happen to me because I was the doctor's daughter.

×××

Last time I was in the corridor for the mentally ill all the doors to the patients were closed but tonight one door was open. I was forced to go by it to go to the staff room but instead of getting nervous or scared I felt excited. It must be Billy's room. My thought wasn't logical but right then and there, there was only one patient at the psychiatric ward for me. I looked in through the door while walking by and saw two male caretakers talking loudly and irritated to someone.

"No, time to sleep!" Said one of the caretakers and pushed down a person onto the steel framed bed. I thought back to the night before and became even more sure that it was Billy. It must be him that the caretaker got that irritated with. I stood and looked in through the door as if it were some sort of performance I was watching and just hoped to see Billy's face but when the caretaker moved away I saw it was an older woman. Tears streamed down her wrinkled skin while she muttered something to herself. She tried to push the caretakers away but they just continued to push her down in bed.

"Who are you?" Said one of the caretakers when he found me staring at them in the doorway.

"Excuse me, I work here. Just going to the staff room," I said with flushed cheeks and showed off my striped apron like it was my golden ticket. The caretaker just nodded and then took a hold of the old lady's wrist in a vise grip. She yelped in pain and I swallowed hard by seeing her pained expression. Why did they handle her so roughly?

I had a bad feeling when I walked away from the lady's room but tried to think about why I was there. Billy. I walked into the staff room that was much more welcoming than the rest of the ward. There were floral curtains on the windows, crochet table cloths and colorful paintings. I put on my hat and fixed my apron before knocking Mrs. Larsen's office door. I begged silently to myself that this would go well.

Mrs.Larsen opened with a wrapped sandwich in her hand and covered her full mouth with a hand.

"Oh, Ms. Woods. Can I help you with something?"

I gave her a puzzled look and looked around confused. All an act like I'd planned.

"You said yesterday that I should come tonight too?"

Mrs. Larsen swallowed dryly and brushed away some crumbs on her top lip.

"Did I? I'm sorry, I don't remember that. I guess I must have been tired."

I looked at her with big eyes and played with my fingers in front of me and my sweet way seemed to charm her.

"Oh well, we can probably find you something to do tonight too," she said with a smile and moved away from the door so I could walk into her little cramped office.

×××

Annike let me put the breakfast together with two nurses with kitchen duties. In the other wards the patients could write down what they wanted and then it was served in their rooms, this was not the way here. The food was prepared lovelessly and was put up in big serving dishes. I didn't even see them put butter on the bread. As soon as the clock turned five it was time for us to serve the food. I felt ashamed looking at the tired food presented as a buffet in the dining room and I guess the oldest of the nurses, Connie, saw what I was thinking and gave me a look.

"Many of them don't even know what they are eating. I don't think they can even taste things," she said while I looked down at the floor. It sounded just like an excuse, of course they could sense taste.

"Time to wake them up! Go and help the caretakers!" Said Connie with a strict voice and almost pushed me away. I hadn't believed I would come so close to the patients and got a bit nervous. In the corridor I could see one caretaker walk around and lock up the doors while the others went inside to help the patient up from the bed, or I guessed that was what they did. Just to do my part I opened a door and could see a girl my own age sitting in the bed. She was heavily pregnant and rubbed her eyes from sleep.

"Breakfast?" I said and she gave me a confused look but then she nodded with a smile.

"Thank you for…" She didn't say anything more because a caretaker looked into the room and she started to put on a green ragged cardigan. l smiled a little and then took the next door and opened. In the middle of the floor stood a man who looked around confused.

"Hey?" I said carefully. The man didn't seem to hear me so I took a step into the room.

"Hello?" The man looked at me with tired eyes but then started to laugh. Just when it started to feel scary a male caretaker dragged me out of the room.

"You shouldn't be here! If you want to help you can wake up the patients in the beginning of the hallway!” He screamed at me while he closed the door in front of the male patient's face. I stood quietly in shock but then felt a mix of panic and relief when I heard the male patient hit and scream against the other side of the door.

"Go! "Now!" Said the caretaker angrily and with my heart in my throat I ran to the first door in the corridor and opened it quickly with adrenaline in my body.

"Girl, girly!" Said a man in the room. "I'm naked!" He said at the same time I had realized the fact he had just given me. A long manly body laid stretched from head to toe in the bed and I panicked and turned around so fast I hit the wall. Behind me the man chuckled a little.

"Sorry… Are you okay, honey?" He asked when I covered my jaw after I had hit in the wall. I didn't say anything because I was a bit annoyed in the middle of my embarrassment. He was laying naked in a psychiatric ward but laughed at me because I had walked into a wall. He was insane for real.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said with a trembling voice and rubbed my jaw as I thought I could wipe away the pain.

"Is it breakfast?" He said in an almost happy tone and I wondered if I needed to be afraid of him too.

"Yes," I said embarrassed without turning around. I hadn't forgotten that there was a naked man behind me. I didn't want my first experience seeing a penis being together with a patient in the looney bin.

"Oh I'm so hungry… Ehh… Will you release me?"

I furrowed my brows and looked down at my white pumps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they said to you to wake me up for breakfast?"

"Yes?"

"Then you must release the handcuffs."

I looked up from my shoes, up at the wall. There was something in me that wanted to turn around and look at what he meant but all I could see in my head was my own imagination of what manhood looked like. My sister had said that they are really different at daytime and nighttime and I couldn't understand at all what she meant with that.

"Hand… Handcuffs?'' I said carefully. At that moment it suddenly hit me that I recognized the voice of the man. Was it actually Billy Skarsgård who was lying naked behind me, cuffed to the steel frame of the bed?

"Handcuffs," he just said and moved his hands so I could hear the metal of the handcuff slam against the bed frame.

"Bill… Bill, Billy?" I stuttered. I couldn't stop my impulses and now the craving was bigger of knowing if it was Billy behind me than the need to be a good girl.

He laughed silently.

"Yes. I'm Billy… What's your name, honey?"

My heart beated in my chest loudly and I forgot every important thing when I understood who I was talking to so with a hammering heart and eagerness I turned around even if he was naked.

"Oh my god!" I first said excitedly then I saw his naked body. The broad chest, the long, hairy legs but also his sex lying soft against his thigh surrounded with dark pubic hair.

"Oh my god!" I said again and turned around again horrified. There was so much naked skin. The only human I had seen that naked was myself. I heard Billy laugh again.

"Do you have the keys?"

I ran out of the room. I didn't have any keys but I was also terrified of seeing a naked man like that. Billy Skarsgård naked. I felt some sort of anxiousness by seeing it but it got even worse when I realized I wanted to see it again. Especially his manhood.

I stood in a blushing mess and stared into the wall opposite of the door to Billy's room and I could hear a male caretaker walk into him.

"Have you traumatized the girl for life now?” He said with a natural tone.

"With my naked body? I think my body is extremely normal," said Billy. The caretaker sighed deeply.

"Right.. So the question is what you do with all those girls… How you're able to destroy them…" said the caretaker lowly but with a hint of annoyance.

"I don't know. Can you take off the handcuffs now?" Billy said beggingly and his tone made me turn and look in through the doorway. I could just see his naked legs and feet. Everything passed the middle of his thigh, was covered by the caretaker's body while he stood in front of him. The caretaker laughed unamused and shook his head.

"If I could I would let you rot in this bed. Someone should do an exorcism on you instead of just drugging you…"

I swallowed hard and tightened my fist in front of me so hard my nails wounded me. Was Billy a rapist? Did he have a sexual deviation? Nymphomania? Or was he actually in contact with the devil?

I had never believed in the devil but standing there, hearing a grown sane man talk about an exorcism I didn't know what to believe.

"Can you just release me now? I'm really hungry."

I looked at the caretaker's back while he unlocked the handcuffs and then I moved to the side of the door, afraid that I would be seen eavesdropping or seeing Billy naked again.

"Dress and change sheets before breakfast, bedwetter," Said the caretaker before he left the room.

Luckily for me he didn't seem to notice me next to the doors opening and when he had left l looked into Billy's room again. He had put on the ward issued gray sweats and stood with his hands over his face. His shoulders bobbed as if he cried.

"Bill… Billy? Are you okay?" He exhaled deeply and wiped his eyes before looking at me. His eyes were red with tears and I felt a mix of sadness and nervousness seeing him like that. There must be something wrong, a mistake. Billy was a happy, talented, smart man. He wasn't a maniac.

"Yeah.. Yeah…" he said and smiled through the tears. "What's your name?"

I smiled a little, forgetting where we were and just saw handsome Billy in front of me. He was so tall but had an ugly wound over one of his brows and down his cheekbone.

"Joan, but everyone calls me Joanie."

"That's really pretty…" he smiled and started carefully taking away the sheets from the bed.

"Do you need help?" I asked as I walked into the room.

"Ehh…" Now he looked embarrassed and even got pink in the cheeks. He was so cute. "I laid in handcuffs here the whole day so I… I needed to urinate.."

I smiled calmingly towards him.

"I've cleaned worse things doing this job," I said and started to help him remove the sheets. He smiled big towards me and dragged a hand through his greasy hair.

"Thank you," he said and looked me deep in the eyes. I blushed and shrugged.

"I mean, Joanie?"

I looked up at him again, deep in those big green eyes.

"Thank you for treating me as a human."

×××

When Billy went to the canteen to eat breakfast I stood frozen in the hallway with his dirty sheets. He had smiled beautifully at me and dragged a hand through his hair in that sexy way he did in the movies. It affected me so hard that I was stuck standing in the hallway with a stupid smile on my lips while I imagined myself riding in a muscle car with him through floral fields.

"Joanie? Are you still here? I thought your shift ended an hour ago," said Annike and looked at me worriedly.

"Oh, yeah…" I said with a dreamy tone.

"Has something happened?" She laid her hand on my shoulder and looked at the sheets in my hands.

"I'm just tired," I smiled a little.

She nodded and released my shoulder.

"I hope you tell me otherwise… Dr. Woods…" She started the sentence but then looked at me with a careful smile.

"Just tell me then but if you want to you can come back here. When is your next shift?" I smiled big and imagined Billy's beautiful eyes in front of me.

"Next week on Tuesday. 10 am to 7 pm."

Annike nodded with a smile.

"I will talk with Dr. Fredricks. It's really nice to have you here," she said and once again laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Mrs. Larsen." I smiled sincerely because it was actually nice working at the psychiatric ward. No stupid Doctors, no jealous girls and instead of boring patients with a broken leg or fever there was actually a Hollywood star here. A Hollywood star who smiled at me brightly and I had even got to see him naked.

×××

My mother stood in the kitchen when I got home. It was silly really, how she could get up at 5 am just to prepare what we would eat for dinner twelve hours later. That was my mother's picture of the perfect wife, the dream for a woman to be, the dream for a man to have. If she knew I dreamt about Los Angeles, short skirts and now, also, an actor's penis she would have been horrified. She even thought the image of me as a working woman was horrible, me becoming an actress was almost as bad as prostitution.

"I'm going to bed…" I said without saying hello and walked with tired steps towards the stairs. My mom looked up at me and shook her head.

"I'll wake you up in a couple of hours, you must help me bake bread today."

I closed my eyes and walked up the stairs just by memory.

"The Dawson's are coming to dinner tomorrow," she continued and I whined loudly. My mom wanted me to meet their son, Jacob. She had shown me pictures of him and tried to impress me with the university courses he had taken. I asked as a joke what kinda car he had but that made my mother irritated for real. I was hopeless in her eyes and she wondered how I could become that way when my sister was such a good housewife. I wonder the same thing sometimes. Maybe it was my lack of friends or it was the movies I've watched but something in me believed there was something more than becoming a housewife like my mother. I was far too special to just have such a boring life.

I laid down in bed when I had put on my nightgown and thought about Billy again. I wanted to give him something. A gift. And maybe a pink letter with splashes of my perfume. I giggled and rubbed my cheek against the pillow in embarrassment when I thought about giving him my flower. A picture of his steel bed in the ward flew by in my mind and I shook my head to myself. We would do it somewhere else. Maybe on that floral field after we had cruised through it with his shiny car.

×××

Do young, cool men really wear bowties 1961?

Jacob Dawson did. A green plaid one that clashed with his blue striped suit. He looked like a little old man but my mom looked at him like he was the most charming boy.

For once I had done my hair in another style than a ponytail and it laid down over my chest with perfect bent tips. I felt pretty in my newest dress, a lime green dress with a shirt collar. It actually ended over my knee and I felt daring and like I had some spice. Jacob looked at me with big eyes while our parents spoke. I was far out of his league and just felt uncomfortable when he smiled at me.

"What… What do you like to do? When you don't work at the hospital?" He asked carefully and wiped the sauce in the corner of his mouth on his jacket sleeve. Charming.

I wanted to tell him the truth; Movies, Hollywood, music and fashion. But my mother hated all of those things and she sat and looked at me intensely.

"Oh, I read… I bake? And I take long walks."

My mother looked pleased and everything except the baking was true. And the walks were often just a way for me to escape and pretend I wore high end fashion and flirted with millionaires.

Jacob smiled at me and nodded. I didn't ask him back because I wasn't that interested but as most men he didn't seem to need a reason to talk about himself.

He talked about books he had read, lectures he'd been to and also the course he had taken to become a good husband. He was such a snoozefest that if my dress hadn't been sitting so tight I would have fallen asleep.

As a doctor's family we didn't have the luxury to ignore the phone while eating. My dad's job was way too important so when the phone rang my mother, as the perfect little housewife she was, walked to the phone to answer. The odds that it was to her was small but she wouldn't let my father do any unnecessary movement when he was home and now he also was in a deep conversation with Mr. Dawson about useless secretaries and stupid elevator staff. When my mom came into the dining room again she waited for my dad to look at her before talking.

"It's Dr. Fredricks on the phone but…" she turned to me and I looked at them confused. "He wants to talk to Joanie."

My dad looked at me then at my mom.

"Well let her then?" He just said and then turned to Mr. Dawson again. I looked at my mother to get her approval too. She gave me a worried look but showed with her hand it was okay for me to leave the table and take the call. I didn't know if it was what I wanted. Mr. Fredricks was bad news and it didn't feel like he could say anything positive. On nervous legs I walked to the kitchen where the phone stood on a side table.

"Yes, Dr. Fredricks?" I said politely and felt the nerves in my hand.

"Hello… Lovely Joanie," said a smooth manly voice. Not at all as Dr. Fredricks.

"Hello?" I said confused and looked around in the kitchen for an answer. The man laughed sweetly on the phone and exhaled deeply.

"It's me, Billy… Skarsgard."

"Billy??" I was surprised before I realized I probably should pretend like I was speaking with Dr. Fredricks.

"Yeah. I have some friends here that have helped me with some things… Do you want to take a ride? Now? Tell your parents that you have work and meet me at the parking lot on the north side of the hospital."

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #clark

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