#the actual shot from the show is chunks of four frames which is why it looks like that

[lilalbatross]

[sidespromptblog]

Late Night Run: Part 1

Part Two (End)

One-shots:

Confrontation (Virgil), The Reveal, and Comfort

Summary: Logan makes muffins in the middle of the night out of worry for the dark sides, it doesn't exactly end up how he thinks it will end up.

Warning: Self Deprecating Thoughts (Logan), Questionable Patton Mention, Questionable Virgil Mention, Panic Attack (Logan), and NSFS (not safe for sanders- heavy kissing and hickeys). 

Word Count: 4800

AO3 LINK

It was late.

There was no doubt about that, the clock on his nightstand had already told Logan that it was well past midnight when he had ventured down into the kitchen, and he was certain that he had been down here for hours. Ordinarily, he would have frowned heavily upon doing anything like this for any such reason, as Thomas definitely wouldn’t benefit from his physical representation of Logic being up as late as he was. But… he couldn’t help it, he had tried to sleep and he had tried to shove the worries he was wrestling with to the back of his mind like the others did, and… he couldn’t. For hours before he had gotten up he had restlessly tossed and turned, his mind coming up with scenario after scenario making his worry and concern twist around his chest like an anaconda that was getting closer and closer to squeezing him to death. He had certainly tried, with just about every item he had at his disposal. From his humidifier to the noisemaker on his desk.

Nothing worked, as that sickening feeling of worry played with his insides. 

And now, not only was there flour all the way up to his elbows, but he had batter under his fingernails, and the smell of muffins baking in the kitchen yet again after his first few attempts had completely and utterly failed him. 

He knew that he most certainly wasn’t like Roman, who would whip up meals out of nothing with little to no effort. And he clearly wasn’t like Patton who could stick to a select few things and make them well. He was… well, he was just him. He was Logic and that didn’t lend itself to anything very well, he was lucky if the coffee machine even liked him more than it did Virgil. So baking… baking for the longest time had been out of the question, as he had been content to just leave that area of expertise to Roman and Patton. It was a miracle that he had even managed to have one batch turn out alright, what with as many charred and burnt failures as he had before. 

 Because whether they believed it or not…

He knew where and when he was a failure.

And much like emotions, he was an utter failure at anything that came to the kitchen and he had been content with that.

At least until he had started noticing it, and it was when he had started noticing that the others didn’t notice that had really knocked him off of his balance. It was like not noticing that something was on fire, or like there was a monster that the others couldn’t.. or didn’t care about seeing. It had seemed preposterous for them not to notice such an obvious thing, so much so that it had figuratively thrown him for a loop. It baffled him unlike any emotion had ever done before, and it made something fiery hot seeth and burn in his chest like the first little embers before a raging fire. It made his hands clench and his shoulders shake, to the point that every puff of air felt like smoke being heaved out of a dragon’s nostrils before it set fire to a village. 

He was… he was… angry.

No... furious was a far better term than just blanket anger. Or even perhaps rage, when the surging need to punch his wall or even to throw his usual stress ball so hard that chunks of it flew off once it hit the wall. All just to relieve the built-up pressure seized him in its vice-like grip, and refused to let go until he actually did something to feel better about the whole situation.

The idea had seemed ludicrous, at first.  

Every day, every day they all ate together. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. With all of them seated there, even Deceit and Remus showed up to eat. They didn’t necessarily eat as a family, given how Virgil always gave the two dark sides a stink eye or with how Patton’s smile seemed entirely fake when Remus messily scarfed down his food and Deceit declined to eat certain things. It was more like a distant family meal, where they were all forced to eat with one another, even if they didn’t like each other. It was like a holiday meal, where they acknowledged each other long enough to eat, but after that, they went back to pretending each other didn’t exist long enough to lick their wounds back in their respective rooms. 

Even he could tell how humiliating it was for them all things considered.

It had never sat right with Logan, forcing Deceit and Remus to eat with them if the two dark sides couldn’t even be given the most basic amount of respect when Thomas was present. No matter how many times they would eat together… anytime that Remus or Deceit showed up, they were treated as the scum of the earth no matter how they acted off camera. It was insulting. But regardless of how he had felt… Deceit and Remus had always shown up, they had always sat there and eaten. Taking Patton’s fake smiles, taking Virgil’s shrewd glares all while knowing that they weren’t really wanted there in the first place. They ate the food that Patton and Roman put out on the table and didn’t say so much as a word against it, despite Deceit clearly being averse to certain foods and Remus neglecting them entirely. And then… 

Three days ago they stopped coming entirely, and Logan hadn’t been able to sleep since then.

Logan had been able to wave away the worry he had felt on the first day, chalking it up to the fact that the other two might just be sick or having a mental health day for themselves. It was only when the second and third day rolled around, with Deceit and Remus missing every single meal since then that Logan felt it.

That sickening sinking in his stomach that had kept him up all night, that had made him toss and turn, and that had forced him up well past midnight scrambling around in the kitchen for some kind of way to help. There was no guarantee that Deceit and Remus would even be awake at this time of night, but that was perhaps for the best. 

“If they don’t want to see Virgil or Patton… then why on earth would they want to see you?” Logan sarcastically muttered to himself as he gingerly moved the hot muffins to the plate, they actually smelled kind of great, although that was heavily overshadowed by the other burnt muffins that had been his failure batch in the garbage. He had failed so many times to get this batch of muffins to be perfect, to the point where he wanted to go back and curl up in bed and bemoan how he was a failure. “Not yet,” He insistently coached himself, “Run these down to them, and then I can hide under the covers until morning.” 

All things considered… it was a shitty pep talk if he’d ever heard one. 

But then again he had never been the best at being encouraging in any kind of way. That was why, after all, that Thomas liked Patton and Roman better than he could ever like him, they were better at giving those sweet encouraging words that Logan had always somehow managed to make monotone and boring for their host. 

Nevertheless, there he was, standing before the door that led down into the dark side’s mindspace, that squirming uncomfortable sensation was back although this time it came with an added warmth that swamped his face and made the tips of his ears tingle. It made a restless jittery feeling run up and down his spine and settle deep into his bones the tighter that he clutched the plate of muffins. If he saw them… then it would be the first time he had seen them in days, which… wasn’t necessarily a lot of days all things considered. But three days was seventy-two hours, and it was also four thousand three hundred and twenty minutes, which was most definitely a lot. Then again, if they saw him…

They might tell the others, they might get angry, they… might tell the others and then everyone would get angry at him for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. 

The logical side barely had time to even consider that option before he got to the last step, and before him was the dark mindspace. It was… for lack of a better word… really really dark, and on top of that very cold and… not as messy as he would have thought it would be. Piles of clothes had been strewn all over the couch, whether they were clean or dirty Logan had no way of knowing. But other than that, the place just seemed…

 Lived in.

With little trinkets lining the shelves, artwork on the fridge, and picture frames on the wall… it didn’t look like the deep dark dungeon of madness and despair that Virgil had always said that it was and that they had always assumed it to be. By all accounts, it looked.. just normal. No evilness lurking in the shadows and no monsters waiting to bit off their ankles if anyone came too close. 

“I knew it!” Logan whisper-shouted to himself, just barely holding back the urge to fist bump the air in his near-silent victory. “I knew that they weren’t evil down here!” 

Regardless of his victory though, he had come here to do a single simple task to himself a peace of mind so that he could sleep, and that’s what he was going to do before he woke up everyone in the mindspace. Perhaps after this, he could finally de-stress and actually get some sleep.

Setting the plate on the counter, Logan hastily booked it back towards the door seeing that none of them were around to question or interrogate him about his lapse in emotions. The less they knew about who sent the muffins, and the fewer questions they asked about it… honestly, the better in Logan’s opinion. He wasn’t Virgil, someone that they clearly missed and wanted to have back with them. He wasn’t Patton, someone who’s entire thing was being nice and happy to others. He wasn’t Roman, someone who could charmingly enough befriend them if he tried hard enough. He was just Logan.

Boring and ordinary Logan that nobody listened to.

And it was time to go. 

Or at least it would have been, had the abnormally warm pair of arms not slithered around his waste the moment that he moved in front of the messy couch, catching him in such a tight grasp that it was impossible for him to even budge from it. 

Looking down, Remus’ abnormally bright eyes gleamed out of the pile of clothes as he looked back up at him. “Got you,” Remus whispered in the darkness of the mindspace, a smile curling on his lips as he tugged back with one smooth and very strong movement he had Logan seated half on his lap and half splayed onto the couch where previously he had thought nobody had been. “Dee Dee! I got one of em! Come quick, it’s the dork!” And just like that, Logan’s heart sank into the very depths of his stomach as his lungs hitched holding his very breath captive. 

There was no way that he was getting out of here without alerting practically everyone.

The dark sides would know, Patton and the others would know, they would all know that he came down here and they’d scorn him because of it. He’d see Patton’s painfully fake smile aimed towards him this time, he’d see Virgil’s hateful scorn scorching his insides as he glared at him with all of the hate and malice that he gave the others, even Roman… he wouldn’t be able to look at him again. All of the work he had put in towards this, to being silent and making sure that he didn’t wake anyone up… would be entirely worthless. 

It would all be over.

He would.. he wouldn’t.. he couldn’t…   

Icy cold hands cupped Logan’s face, he hadn’t even noticed it when Remus’ grip around him had gone slack nor when the other side had appeared before him. “Hey,” The buttery smooth voice came to him in waves as reality slowly shifted back on its axis, concern and worry dripping off of every word as those cold hands remained, a steady anchor pulling him back. “Breathe for me, can you do that? I need you to breathe, okay?” Another pair of hands smoothed his messy bed hair back out of his face, allowing him to see those two mismatched eyes staring back at him. 

Logan hadn’t even realized how long he had been holding his breath until  Deceit had made him aware of the painful burning in his lungs. And in one quick movement, he hastily inhaled almost lifelessly slumping back against Remus as the other two exchanged worried glances back and forth that looked like an entire conversation that Logan wasn’t privy to. 

“Good,” Nevertheless Deceit patted his cheeks relief washing over his face, “You’re safe.. you’re okay here.” Worry wasn’t exactly a foreign concept to Deceit, but looking down at the logical side that had been frozen in abject terror the moment that Remus had called out for him. Well… worry wasn’t exactly the word that he’d use to describe the kind of feeling that shot through his chest upon seeing that expression, aimed towards him no less. 

Even Remus had completely stopped when it had become obvious that their dear logical side was no longer actually breathing, and stuck in a panicked spiral in his own head. Where Remus had been squeezing the other side with his constricting arms, Remus now merely held him, barely even touching him now that Logan was once again breathing as he should have been in the first place. Despite the fact that he so desperately wanted to touch him, just to make sure that he was alright and wasn’t dying right then and there. But he couldn’t, despite how much his body screamed at him to comfort the logical side in some way… he just couldn’t.

Another pair of Deceit’s hands smoothed over Logan’s hair again, “Now,” The dishonest side began, once Logan’s eyes no longer had that glazed look of terror about them. “Would you like to explain just what you’re doing here Logic? This isn’t exactly prime time for you light sides… not that any of you would ever willingly come down here, to begin with.” Especially not since they had Virgil now, they never needed to come down here again. 

“I…” Logan swallowed thickly as it all came back to him in emotionally embarrassing waves of what he had come here to do and just why. “I was worried…” He began clamming up a little as soon as Deceit raised an eyebrow at him, clearly skeptical. “You two haven’t come up to eat for two days, and I didn’t know if you were eating at all so I.. just…” Logan swallowed again, just to look up yet again and see the expression written all over the other side’s face. “What?” He quickly asked, utterly ashamed at how the warmth spread over his face with nothing to stop it. 

A soft scoff let Deceit’s lips as he rolled his eyes, “We’re fine down here, we didn’t need to come up-” 

Before the other side could so much as finish though…

“What he means is that,” Remus casually butted in “Is that it’s fucking shitty that we have to keep up the appearances of a happy family even though most of you hate our guts. We are hungry, but we also have our pride and our mental health to think about. We hate trying to appease ol Daddy just for it to never ever work at every turn.” Remus’ warm breath washed over Logan’s neck as he leaned in, resting his chin on Logan’s shoulder. “No matter how we play along, will always be denied the spotlight even when Thomas needs us to shine. So why try… right?” 

Deceit bobbed his head in a nod, the pent up expression on his face only slightly loosening as his eyes remained trained on Logan’s face. 

Ah.

“I see,” Logan softly began, his calm voice in no way giving away the furious fire burning right underneath of his skin, he wanted to do something.. to scream, to yell at the others, at himself for letting this go on for as long as it did. He wanted to hit himself for being so foolish to think that these two would ever be okay for settling for what the others were making them settle for. It was stupid… it was foolish to ever even believe that things could continue at the rate they were continuing, they needed more than just some meals together... of course, they would need more.  

A myriad of emotions passed through Deceit’s eyes, “Good,” He choked out, his hands clenching and unclenching. “Now that you understand…. you are free to leave. We aren’t going to tell the others that you were down here, so just hurry back before they all wake up and-”

“I’m sorry.” 

Deceit’s words hit a screeching stop. “Excuse me?” 

Taking in a deep breath Logan slumped back against the couch and Remus, “I… I knew,” He finally admitted, “I knew that something was up, and the way that you two were being treated was not satisfactory. And ultimately I finally did something too little too late. I should have said.. or done something before it ever got this bad. But what do I do?” Logan sarcastically snorted mirroring the scoff that Deceit had made moments ago. “I make fucking blueberry muffins instead of doing something actually good, why? Because blueberries are the one fruit you like and texture that doesn’t bother you, and both of you like muffins. I could have done something actually useful, but instead I-”

Logan would have gone on and on, had Remus’ hand not covered his mouth silencing him rather effectively. 

 “How on earth did you know?” Remus incredulous voice snapped Logan out of his own self-loathing ramblings, “I mean nobody… not even Virgil knew about the blueberry thing, let alone muffins. So how do you know?!” 

Glancing back and forth from Deceit to Remus, Logan saw the same thing. Their wide eyes that perfectly told him that nobody had been able to pick up on their eating habits well enough to make them something that they’d actually enjoy. That they’d always picked through their meals with the light sides, while being barely satisfied as it was at the end of the day with what they had eaten. It was a harsh truth that slapped Logan across the face to just why they had stopped coming. Nobody had cared enough to learn about them, they had all made changed when Virgil had picked at his food, and yet… they hadn’t even offered the same courtesy to Remus or Deceit. 

“It was fairly obvious to me,” Logan’s voice was muffled by Remus’ hand, and yet he continued to speak anyways. “There was the night that Roman made a fruit salad, you two only picked out the pineapple chunks, oranges, and blueberries from it. And one time for breakfast you ate only the muffins, when you were given over-easy eggs and crispy bacon. So it was kind of easy. Since.. since I was actually… you know... Looking.” Logan mumbled through the other’s hand, just for his words to ramble off into a dead silence as soon as he noticed the look that was written all over Deceit’s face. 

A part of him was sure… absolutely sure that he had fucked up in some kind of way. 

And then cold hands descended onto his face, cupping his cheeks just as they had been before. All while Remus’ arms wrapped just as tightly around his waist as they had been before, with the dark side frantically nuzzling the back of his neck as if it was the last thing that either of them would ever do. Logan would have been lying had he said that his entire body didn’t shiver at the touch of those cold hands, and the desperate hug that Remus had seemingly pulled him back into.  

Without even thinking about it, Logan raised his hands laying them gingerly over Deceit’s making them stay right there on his face, as he leaned back against Remus. 

“You… You’re not an idiot,” Deceit mumbled his body pitching forward as he slid his other pairs of arms around Logan, cocooning him between the two dark sides with a contrasting sensation of the warmth from Remus on his back and Deceit’s blessed coldness against his front. “I don’t know why you care… for either of us as it is. I don’t know what possessed you to come and find us. To cook anything for us. But…” Logan felt a stirring of warmth against his trembling heart as Deceit’s nuzzled the top of his head. “Thank you.”

The amount of desperation that he was then seized with was almost embarrassing for Logan, as he clutched onto Deceit’s caplet, it was like his very skin was burning without any of the pain that came with it. He had never been held, or rather caressed in such a way that made him want to surround himself like this again and again. This was an entirely new sensation for him, and he never wanted it to stop. The very idea of it stopping was on parr of torture for him, and even that was unthinkable for him.

“Don’t thank me,” Logan mumbled into the crease of Deceit’s shirt, his voice bordering on an embarrassing whine as Remus’ warm hands curled around him even more, making his back instinctively arch into that warm calloused touch that trailed up his spine. “Don’t ever thank me for giving you the most basic kindness that you already deserve. Because I’ll give it to you every time, you don’t ever need to thank me… I promise.” Words had never been his strong suit when it had come to him telling the others how he felt, and yet right here and now… 

They flowed as freely as water gushing in a river.

It was almost scary how well he could tell these two just how he felt about the circumstances they had all found themselves in. It came so easily, that for a second for a split second… he was sure that there was something wrong with him. These words that were on the tip of his tongue, weren’t supposed to be this easy for him to say. He was supposed to trip and stumble over these words, to be too cold to ever let them out without being forced first. 

And yet… as Remus’ mustache tickled the back of his neck, his body felt all too willing to give out the words that had been buried inside of him for far too long. 

He didn’t like how the others treated Deceit and Remus.

They deserved to be treated with respect.

They deserved to have a seat at the table just like Virgil did. 

Just because they existed did not make them inherently bad or even make Thomas evil. 

They couldn’t control what their core aspect was as a side, just as Virgil couldn’t. So to treat them as evil was hypothetical at best, and just abuse at worst. 

He… actually liked them, as in like-liked them. 

And worst, or perhaps best of all… he didn’t want to leave their pile of limbs that felt all too perfect around him. 

“Then don’t go,” Remus’ warm breath washed over Logan’s collarbone as he rubbed his cheek against the other’s neck, “I know what you’re trying to keep hidden, those deep dark thoughts that you don’t want the others to know about, because you’re scared of them leaving. Just like Tommy boy, you..” Remus squirmed a little as he readjusted his grip on Logan, until the logical side’s back was flush against his chest. “You don’t have to leave, you can stay. Move your room here, stay with us, have meals with us. You.. you would be happy.” The creative side practically mouthed the last word against Logan’s skin, forcing another shiver to curl up from the very bottom of Logan’s toes to the very tip of his hair. 

“Remus,” Deceit softly warned, there was a clear underlining of despairing want deep in his eyes. He so desperately wanted the very same thing. For the one person who clearly cared about the two of them to stay, to not have to go back, and for Logan to just let them love him.

 But he knew… 

The other would come for Logan, they would be angry and force him to come back. He couldn’t stay, he couldn’t stay with them, and they couldn’t love him.  

Deceit wasn’t even aware that he had been tearing up until he felt Logan’s smooth fingers wiping away the tears before they could even make their way down his face. 

“Deceit,” Logan’s said his title like it was a prayer, “Do you want me here?” He asked, his eyes staring right back up into those mismatched eyes with the fierceness of a wild animal protecting its territory. “Because I want to be here, I want to be here for you two, and I want to… be happy, for once.” Logan’s thumb brushed over his scaled cheek, making Deceit instinctively dip his head into the warmth of the other side. “Truthfully I do not care how the others will react to me leaving, they can’t always get what they want. And…” Logan clasped his hand around the back of Deceit’s neck, pressing both of their foreheads together. “If they try to take me back… I. Will. Fight.” 

There was no warning, none at all for what Deceit did next. 

As he threaded his fingers through Logan’s hair, gripping him so tight and with such earnestness that one might have thought that the dishonest side was scared of him vanishing before he slammed their mouths together. They were all pressed together, limbs tangling with one another, the sound that Logan made into the kiss was much more of a flustered sound than an embarrassing one. But even so, the logical side could still feel Deceit smiling into the kiss. At least until he felt Remus’ teeth burying into his shoulder, ripping his attention from the dishonest and firmly in place of Remus. 

“My turn,” Remus petulantly whined, as soon as Logan came up for air. And before he could even get so much as a lungful in, Remus’ lips descended down onto Logan’s nipping and biting the entire time making Logan give up those little noises he tried so desperately to hide from them. 

Logan gasped as he felt Deceit’s fangs brush over his pulse, “The..the muffins,” He stammered out a weak excuse if he’d ever heard one, as he felt the lips from each side sucking a dark mark after mark on his neck. There would be no way on earth that he’d ever be able to hide these from the others, not that he was exactly complaining about that. “T..they’ll get… col-” Just to squirm as a truly humiliating sound left his lips as Remus dragged his tongue from the fresh sensitive mark up the slope of Logan’s neck, aiming for his mouth once again. Shame scrawled itself all over Logan’s cheeks, as he slammed his mouth shut, desperate to keep any noises as quiet as possible.     

“No no no,” Deceit muttered, a sly smirk curling on his lips as he whispered his words onto a particular spot right behind Logan’s ear that made the logical side squirm. “You’re too beautiful to be silent dearest one, be as loud as you want. I’ll not be silencing you today, or ever… not unless you ask me to.” 

A shiver rolled up Logan’s body, that left him gasping and wanting. 

“You’re so good,” Remus purred as his hands smoothly found their way under Logan’s shirt, “My beautiful daring Dame, so perfect and caring. Amazing. Fantastic. Phenomenal. Just so... Extraordinary my lovely lovely Dame.” 

And with those words, Logan tilted his head back letting go of all of his stress and worries, and let his two lovers take care of him. 

[maxerikson]

The Character Development of Sonic the Hedgehog: A Character Analysis

The Sonic the Hedgehog video game series is one that does not require very deep or complicated stories to go with their games. Due to the simplistic nature of the franchise, its characters are probably best described as two-dimensional, which would be fine, because they don’t require that third dimension of depth. The main character himself, Sonic the Hedgehog, doesn’t even have much character development throughout the series; at least at first glance that would seem to be the case, but I am here to tell you all that Sonic the Hedgehog has gone through a lot of character development throughout his adventures, making him very three-dimensional. There are four key character arcs that Sonic has gone through over the course of the main series, and I’m going to go over all of them while examining Sonic’s development in the major installments.

-

From Loner to Team Player

I believe at the very start of the series, Sonic the Hedgehog was a loner, who had trouble making friends and might have even closed himself off to others. In Sonic the Hedgehog 1, Sonic was the only playable character, and the only other character in the whole game was the villain, Dr. Eggman. More characters appeared in later titles, many more, but none of them are people Sonic knew before Sonic 1. They were all strangers to Sonic when they first appeared. Another piece of evidence comes from Amy Rose. Several years ago now, Sega did a mock Q&A with Sonic, and one of the questions asked of him was why he wasn’t interested in Amy. His answer was because he was too busy with his adventures to have a relationship (although there’s also an inappropriate age difference between the two, with Sonic being 15 years old, and Amy being 12).

It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to think that this makes it hard to form any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Being able to move as fast as he can, the world around Sonic is just too slow for him, and the people that were in his life before Tails and Amy likely just couldn’t keep up. Not only that, but his powers and his status as a hero likely make him a target, which would make him dangerous to be around, as if his super speed didn’t make him dangerous enough already. However, Amy would force her way into Sonic’s life, not minding the danger, and in the Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic met Tails, who was able to keep up with him thanks to his propeller-like twin tails, and tagged along on his adventure to stop Eggman from destroying West Island in his search for the Chaos Emeralds. Tails may have been Sonic’s first real friend in who knows how long, maybe even ever.

That being said, Sonic still saw Tails and Amy as people he had to protect, and he had trouble getting along with people like Knuckles, who was also quite the loner, although much more so than Sonic. Then Sonic Adventure 1 took place, and it seemed like Sonic’s fears were coming true. When the Tornado 1 was shot down during the first attack on the Egg Carrier, Sonic and Tails were separated. Sonic had no idea if Tails was OK, so he needed to find him quickly, but Amy just had to show up asking for him to help a lost birdie. Sonic never agreed to this, but when Zero arrived to capture Amy and the bird, Sonic was determined to rescue them, but Zero escaped with them. Sonic had failed to protect his friends, and he wouldn’t have needed to if he was their friend in the first place.

Sonic didn’t have long to dwell on this failure, however, because Tails almost immediately appeared in his Tornado 2, which he and Sonic used to attack the Egg Carrier, and this time successfully made on board, where they find out that Amy had already escaped custody...with help from an Eggman robot, no less! In this moment, Sonic has learned that his friends can take care of themselves, meaning he can have friends without putting them in danger.

The story for Sonic Adventure 1 had a central theme that was used as the inspiration for the main song, Open Your Heart. The story was all about how you need to open your heart to others, because closing yourself off will create a cycle of pain and hatred. This lesson was put into words when Sonic gave his speech to Tikal before the final boss battle, telling her why they shouldn’t just seal Chaos back into the Master Emerald. I believe Sonic wouldn’t have been able to make this speech at the beginning of the game, because it’s a lesson he’s been learning since the beginning of the series, and it had just sunk in. That speech is the climax of Sonic letting his friends be part of his life, but it isn’t the finale.

In Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic found himself framed for a crime he didn’t commit and thrown in Prison Island. How did he escape? He didn’t—at least not by himself. It was actually Amy who released Sonic from his cell while Tails was keeping Dr. Eggman busy. Not only could Sonic’s friends take care of themselves, but they can even be relied on to save the day when Sonic can’t. Sonic is shown to have learned this lesson when he gets trapped on the ARK, and about to be jettisoned to his apparent death; during that scene he tells Tails to take care of Amy, letting him know that Sonic has full faith in him to be a hero in Sonic’s absence. By Sonic Heroes, Sonic has become a true team player, treating Tails and Knuckles as equals as they worked together to stop Eggman.

A lot of this is intertwined with the next area of development I’m about to talk about, which is….

-

Sonic’s Confidence

Sonic the Character is well known for his confidence. A lot of people view him as cocky, but I’ve never seen him as such. However, I believe that’s because by Sonic Adventure 1, he’s already lost a good chunk of that cockiness (all games before SA1 had what I like to call ‘video game stories’, with little-to-no dialogue or cutscenes). One way a person can combat loneliness is by convincing themselves that they don’t need other people in their lives—they’re awesome enough by themselves! Sonic in particular wouldn’t need to try that hard to convince himself of this. He was able to defeat Eggman and destroy his base in Sonic 1 all by himself, and no-one even died. He got some help from Tails in Sonic 2 and 3, but he was basically support. Speaking of Sonic 3, this game basically started with Sonic, as Super Sonic, getting the super knocked out of him when Knuckles caught him by surprise. That definitely would have been a blow to Sonic’s ego. First Metal Sonic and now this gullible Knucklehead? Sonic keeps finding opponents who can actually go toe-to-toe with him.

Still, as far as Sonic was concerned, he needed to be as unstoppable as he believed himself to be. No-one else can do what he can, which means saving the world was his responsibility alone. Now I would like to point out something I said in the previous section: “Sonic had failed to protect his friends” in Sonic Adventure 1. Sonic experienced his first real failure, and what happened? Tails and Amy turned up OK without Sonic saving them. Sonic doesn’t always need to protect them, something that is further proven in Sonic Adventure 2, which also featured more of Sonic’s failure. First, he’s captured by G.U.N. after being framed by theft, then he meets Shadow—the guy who framed him—and learns that this lookalike can outclass him. First Knuckles, now this faker? Sonic keeps meeting people who can make dents in his ego. Speaking of which, he’s immediately captured by G.U.N. again, and needs Tails and Amy to rescue him. Then there’s the final boss battle, during which Shadow—who was fighting alongside Sonic—apparently dies, and although the two of them saved the planet from destruction, Sonic couldn’t save Shadow.

Sonic has realized that he’s not invincible, but he also doesn’t need to carry the whole weight of the world on his shoulders, because his friends can help. We know Sonic has learned this lesson, because at the end of Team Sonic’s story in Sonic Heroes, Sonic admits to Knuckles that he wouldn’t have been able succeed in this journey without him and Tails, and thanks him; and you know this is a big deal because Knuckles responds with an expression of utter shock! Does this mean Sonic Heroes is the end of this particularly character arc for Sonic? No, because now Sonic was underconfident. Once someone realizes they’re not as amazing as they believed themselves to be, they begin feeling inadequate. This is best illustrated in Sonic Unleashed. At the beginning of this game, Sonic is at his lowest point. Eggman  not only defeated Sonic’s super form, but used the power from it to split the planet apart. As a result of this failure, Sonic was turned into a beastly werehog, and he accidentally gave someone amnesia (or so he believes).

Later in the game, Sonic is found by Amy, but she thinks she’s confused a stranger for Sonic, so she apologizes and runs off to find her crush. Considering how much Sonic finds Amy’s crush on him annoying, you’d think Sonic would be delighted by this, but nope! He’s clearly saddened by this, and we get a mopey werehog. That’s because his werehog form is a reminder of his failure, and of his self-perceived inadequacy; but then Chip regains his memories and reveals he’s actually Light Gaia. Sonic theorizes that this is why he’s still himself on the inside when he turns into a werehog, because Chip was with him that whole time, but Chip tells Sonic that it was all Sonic. It was Sonic’s own willpower that kept him sane. I would also like to point out that this is the first main series game in a long time in which Sonic is the only playable character. That’s why I think it’s very important that the main theme of this game’s story is about Sonic realizing the power he had inside himself all along, regaining his confidence and becoming Super Sonic once more to defeat Dark Gaia.

In short, Sonic went from being overconfident to underconfident to confident. However, he’s still very impulsive.

-

Chaos Impulse Control

It only makes sense that someone with super speed would lack patience, and while Sonic has always been shown to be pretty impatient, it wasn’t until Sonic Lost World that it came to be an important part of a game’s story, at least explicitly. I feel like there are examples throughout the main series where Sonic’s impulsiveness was reflected in gameplay and level design. The only examples I can think of from the top of my head though are two from Sonic Adventure 1. Perhaps one of the reasons that orca attacked was because it was startled by Sonic running through its enclosure at such high speeds? Maybe Sonic was the one who accidentally caused that avalanche he had to snowboard away from? Who knows? All I do know, is that Sonic Lost World was the first game that really made full use of Sonic’s impulsiveness.

In SLW, Sonic recklessly got rid of the conch Eggman was using to control the Deadly Six, which made things worse. Sonic’s impulsiveness then got Tails captured and almost roboticized. In the end, Sonic acknowledged his mistakes and apologized to Tail; so does that mean Sonic has learned his lesson? Well, yes, but I believe this will continue to happen. Allow me to repeat myself: Sonic has super speed. Living life with such a power is definitely going to be like living with attention deficiency and hyperactivity. The world is always going to feel too slow for Sonic, which means he’s always going to be in a rush to make things faster. It’s something he’s probably going to live with for most of his remaining life, even if he’s aware of it. Luckily, he has friends who can support him by helping him reign himself in, or by helping him fix his mistakes when he is unable to.

-

Before I move on to the fourth and final area of Sonic’s character development, you may have noticed that there are three major Sonic games I haven’t mentioned so far. That’s because Sonic doesn’t go through any development in Sonic Colors or Sonic Forces. On the surface, that seems to be the same for Sonic Generations, but just think about it for a few seconds: Sonic is traveling through his past during this game. He is seeing a lot of reminders of his past, which could make him think back and reflect on the lessons he’s learned since beginning his adventures on South Island, reaffirming those lessons onto himself; and don’t forget, there are two of him in this game. While Modern Sonic is reflecting on his past, Classic Sonic is getting a glimpse of his future; of the person he could eventually become and the lessons he’ll need to learn to reach that point.

Still, that’s mostly headcanon. It would have been nice if it were more explicit though, and Sonic actually talked about this stuff at least a little. At least we got Sonic telling his past self that his future “is going to be great,” clarifying that Sonic is happy with where he is in life, and that he doesn’t hold any regrets. Which begs the question: What else is there left for Sonic? Well, there is one more part of himself that Sonic is still learning about….

-

Sonic’s Powers

How is Sonic able to move so fast? So far, fans haven’t been given an answer, and Sonic doesn’t appear to know either. Remember when I said Sega did a mock Q&A with Sonic? Well, in that Q&A, Sonic revealed that he was able to run at super speed for as long as he could remember, with no idea how or why he has this power. Although we have yet to be given an answer in these games, we have  gotten at least one game where Sonic was shown to be thinking about it, and one where he might have been.

When Sonic and Shadow were working together during the final boss battle in Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow exclaimed that he figured out that Sonic is the ultimate lifeform, not Shadow. How...is this possible? Shadow was supposed to have been created by Prof. Robotnik to be the ultimate lifeform. There are hints in the game that Robotnik took inspiration from Angel Island’s hieroglyphs, which we know from Sonic & Knuckles depict Sonic, but I want to focus more on the game’s final scene, which shows Sonic thinking about what Shadow said, and how Prof. Robotnik was trying to create the ultimate lifeform.

“Am I really the ultimate lifeform? What does that mean exactly? Does it have anything to do with my speed?” These are likely the questions going through Sonic’s head after these events. That scene hinted at Sonic having questions about his own origins, and he might have been given his first real clue; but has this come up again at all during the series? Perhaps it did, in Sonic Unleashed.

Remember how Chip said Sonic was still Sonic even when he was a werehog because of the power inside of him? Is that just Sonic’s inner strength and willpower, or could it also have something to do with him being the ultimate lifeform? That’s probably what Sonic’s thinking at this time, but who knows?

-

Conclusion

Sonic began his adventures as an arrogant loner with impulse control issues, but over time he has grown into a humble team player with impulse control issues. It doesn’t seem like a huge difference, but I think it’s pretty important. The next, logical thing to do with Sonic as a character is to explore the origins of his powers, at least if we want to see more character development, but it isn’t the only option. Another path writers could take is relapse, and I think Sonic Forces has created an opportunity for this route, despite its awful story. At the beginning of this game, Sonic gets defeated and imprisoned for six months. During that time, Eggman conquered most of the world, all because Sonic was there, basically proving Sonic’s former belief that he needs to be the one to save everyone as correct.

If I had to choose though, I’d rather see more about Sonic’s powers. Still, what should Sega do if Sonic’s character becomes fully developed? Is it time for a reboot? No, not necessarily. There’s nothing wrong with a flat character arc, after all. Instead of having Sonic improve himself, future stories could exclusively portray the characters around them going through character arcs as a result of Sonic’s actions and his relationships with them. That’s technically already something we see in most Sonic games, but that’s while Sonic is going through his own character arcs, at least in the major installments. In minor main series Sonic games, like Sonic Rush, it doesn’t seem like Sonic goes through any development, but the characters around him do. That could become the norm if Sonic completes his development, and that’s OK.

Here’s the big question though: Was any of this character development intentional? Probably not. At the very least, I doubt it was planned by Sega’s higher-ups, and more like the result of individual writers each trying to create the best stories they can, and then all of that work put together created a happy accident. Honestly, it doesn’t matter. Sonic lived and learned to open his heart, and to work with his friends to become stronger together, while also acknowledging the endless possibility of what’s inside of him. Sonic the Hedgehog is my favorite video game character, and realizing all of this just makes him even better in my point of view. With this analysis, I hope I’ll get people to appreciate his character as much as I do.

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are 14/?

AO3 link: HERE

“Kyou-chan...”

Kirako’s eyebrows knitted together in concern.

“Kyou-chan!”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair as the sound of Kirako’s voice roused me from my half-sleep. My neck creaked audibly as I rotated my head just enough to look her in the eye and she took a hasty step back the moment my face came into view.

“A-Are you okay, Kyou-chan?”

I didn’t answer. Even after downing my third packet of instant coffee mix, I was still too tired to talk. Following the incident with Kunikida’s notebook yesterday, I’d spent a good chunk of the afternoon sitting at my kitchen table and staring at my phone. The image of “page fifty-three” remained there on full display until my battery was almost drained and I was forced to get up and prepare dinner.

I’d expected the list to be pretty extensive, but nothing of this magnitude. In total, there were no less than fifty-eight traits Kunikida found attractive enough to deem “ideal” in a partner match, including height preference (a methodically calculated range was given), personality traits, even blood type. My head was spinning by the time I’d finished skimming the page.

There was no way I, or any other human woman for that matter, would be able to match every single one of these requirements. It was simply too much.

I’d decided to go back to binge-reading manga over a cup of hot ramen to de-stress and had just about put aside the matter of what to do about “page fifty-three” when my phone pinged again.

Once again, I’d received an unwanted text message from Dazai. And once again, it was an image attachment. I had just made the decision to delete it without looking at it when my phone pinged several more times, causing me to open one of the attachments by mistake. If “page fifty-three” wasn’t already bad enough, I was soon made aware of the existences of “pages fifty-four through fifty-seven,” which contained a comprehensive plan (complete with locations!) for first dates, getting engaged, an actual timeline of the relationship before marriage... there was even a list of strategies for how to deal with in-laws and a small selection of potential baby names. By the time I got through it all, I wasn’t sure if I was intimidated or actually impressed.

What should I do?

To use the information I’d been given felt completely wrong— reading through Kunikida’s notebook alone was an invasion of privacy. However, not taking advantage of this when I was developing a crush on the man felt patently stupid. Either way, my chances of getting a good night’s sleep were completely ruined and once again I had only Dazai to blame.

Dazai...

“So, does that mean I still have a chance?” he’d asked.

I frowned as I thought back to that last thumbs-up he’d thrown out.

Why was Dazai doing this? Was he actually trying to “help” me as he put it, so that I could have a shot at getting Kunikida to like me? Because he cared about me?

But that didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t that kind of person... If he really wanted a chance with me, he would sabotage me instead. That’s who Dazai Osamu really was, that perverted son of a bitch...

I could tell by the way Kirako was looking at me that I had massive bags under my eyes but I was too exhausted to care. So, I let my cheek stay squished against the table and didn’t bother to lift up my head even though I knew that I was definitely scaring her.

“Kirako-san...”

I smiled and Kirako visibly twitched.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. How can I help you?”

“Uh... well, I know you just finished a big case recently, but...”

She gingerly laid a thin folder on my desk.

“We need you to go with Ranpo-san on a case.”

I looked at it.

“Already?”

Kirako nodded and I watched as she carefully slid my own sketchbook towards me, a thick graphite pencil rolling slightly on top of the faux-leather cover.

“Could you please come with me?”

Slowly, and with a considerable amount of effort, I picked myself up and followed her to the desk in the far corner, my bones cracking loudly as I moved. We stopped at the table closest to the window, where I’d once spied an ID badge depicting a skinny man with spiky black hair wearing a brown tweed cap low over his eyes, a man who I could only describe as a Sherlock Holmes cosplay enthusiast.

Today, however, the seat was occupied by an enormous mound of empty cardboard snack boxes, the mess of brightly colored packaging looking like the aftermath of my old self going through a months’ worth of snacks. Kirako leaned in and gave the pile a soft poke.

“Ranpo-san? Excuse me, Ranpo-san?”

There was a muffled groan and at once the entire pile shifted. I stumbled back as the empty packages cascaded to the ground in a sweet-smelling waterfall and gawked beside a disturbingly calm Kirako as the dark-haired cosplayer was revealed. As I watched him lift his head from his desk, I got the disturbing feeling that this scene was a familiar one at the Armed Detective Agency. The man straightened up in his seat and stretched his limbs, yawning widely as he did so. One bright green eye slowly opened up and focused on me.

“Hm?”

The green-eyed man squinted at me and reached into his pocket for a pair of thick black spectacles.

“Who are you?”

“Ranpo-san,” Kirako explained gently, “This is Kusunoki Kyou. She’s the new recruit who just passed her Entrance Exam. She’ll be going with you on your newest assignment.”

He looked from me to Kirako and put his head down on his desk.

“I don’t feel like it. I just got back from Hokkaido, Haruno-san. Cut me a break, will you?”

Kirako turned to me with a soft smile.

“This is Edogawa Ranpo. As you can tell, he can be in very high demand, even outside of Yokohama. Ranpo-san is the best detective we have and the main reason we can even call ourselves a detective agency. Even the police frequently come to him for help, like today, for example.”

She waved the folder in the air.

“The police can wait,” Edogawa whined. “I’m tired.”

“Ranpo-san,” Kirako whispered, her voice taking on an urgent, conspiratorial tone. “Kyou-chan here loves sweets as much as you do. In fact, she’s good friends with a local convenience store manager. As a thank you for helping them out, Kyou-chan gets a free box of Kit-Kats whenever a new flavor is released—”

Edogawa perked up in an instant.

“Welcome, new recruit!” he shouted, suddenly bounding out of his chair and all but exploding out of the pile of trash. “You are standing in the presence of the Great Detective, Edogawa Ranpo! There is no case that I can’t solve and no truth that escapes the scrutiny of my eyes! Let’s take a look at you, shall we?”

With a flick of his wrist, he placed his glasses on.

“Special Ability: Ultra Deduction!”

“Ability?!” I exclaimed, taking a step back. “Wait, what are you doing?!”

“Too late!” Edogawa declared, “It’s already working!”

I froze, clutching my notebook to my chest as he slowly looked me up and down through those thick square frames, analyzing every square inch of my being and making me feel like I was being fed through a scanner. It didn’t feel quite as gross as when Dazai had been staring at my butt yesterday but it was still uncomfortable.

“Hmm... Interesting...”

Edogawa took the glasses off.

“You’re an Ability User, aren’t you?”

My jaw dropped.

“What the—?! How did you—??”

Completely ignoring me, he turned to Kirako with a pout.

“I don’t need any cheat codes, Haruno-san. I can solve this case on my own.”

I stared at him.

Cheat codes?

“We know that, Ranpo-san,” Kirako reassured him. “But the fact of it is, Atsushi-kun can’t take you today. He’s still out with Dazai-san (Which god do I pray to so that I don’t have to think about that man one more time today, I thought to myself) and there’s no one else who can take you to the site...”

“Oh, good point.”

Edogawa put his glasses away.

“Very well. Nice to meet you, Kusunoki-kun. Shall we go?”

He was already halfway to the door by the time I found my voice again.

“Eh? Right now??”

“Well, of course, there’s a case to be solved and Kit-Kats to be collected,” Edogawa replied, his hand on the doorknob. “As for your questions, I’ll explain on the way there. Now are you coming or not?”

Kirako gave me an encouraging look and inclined her head towards the door, where Edogawa was staring at me expectantly, or at least appeared to be (I wasn’t entirely sure if his eyes were open or not). When I looked back at my desk, I realized that the seats next to mine were empty—neither Dazai and Kunikida had come in this morning and both were out on jobs. If I left now, there was a good chance I wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day and then I wouldn’t have to have any of the awkward conversations that were sure to follow after yesterday’s fiasco...

I looked back at Kirako and took the file from her.

“Let me go get my stuff.”

***

Kirako had mentioned that Edogawa was really bad with directions. What she should have said was that “The Great Detective” was completely unable to function in normal society once he got outside.

How was it that a grown man (and a Yokohama native no less!) had literally no idea how to use the public transit system? I’d laughed when Edogawa had acted like he didn’t understand how the turnstiles worked, thinking it was all some kind of joke. Unfortunately, I realized the joke was on me the instant the ticket agent rushed out and began desperately trying to free Edogawa from the metal arms, where the man’s poncho had inexplicably gotten stuck. If that wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t figure out which line to stand in on the escalator, nearly discarded his ticket with the candy wrapper in his pocket and would have walked right onto the departures track if I hadn’t noticed and quickly grabbed him by the arm before disaster struck.

All in all though, it was still better than staying at the Agency and waiting for Dazai to show up with his knowing grin. Or worse, having to look Kunikida in the face after he’d seen me all tangled up with Dazai yesterday...

I let my head roll back in my seat and sighed.

As Edogawa and I swayed back and forth in our shiny plastic chairs, on the train at long last, I tried to push all thoughts of Dazai, Kunikida and the notebook away and instead focused my attention on my sleepy seat-mate. How had Edogawa figured out I was an Ability User with just one glance? Was he just that good a detective, as Kirako said he was? Or maybe it really did have something to do with his glasses.

I stared suspiciously at Edogawa as he napped beside me, his arms crossed behind his head and one corner of his thick black spectacles poking out of his vest. To my annoyance, Edogawa had refused to put them on unless he was deducing something (“Are you kidding me? The glasses are special, Kusunoki-kun, I can’t just put them on whenever!”), leading me to think his navigational problems might be due in part to severe astigmatism. That and a stubborn refusal to read and follow directions.

Noticing my eyes on him at last, Edogawa shifted slightly in his seat and addressed me.

“Something on your mind, Kusunoki-kun?”

“Not really...”

“Hmm? I wonder...”

He took a small, green lollipop out of his pocket, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth.

“You’re not thinking about how I was able to deduce you were an Ability User?”

I stiffened, then sighed. Apparently Dazai wasn’t the only one I’d have a hard time fooling.

“Okay, I was,” I admitted, mentally kicking myself for thinking about Dazai again, “But is it really a good idea to talk about it here?”

I gestured around the train car.

“I thought President Fukuzawa asked us not to talk about my Ability in public? What if the Port Mafia’s still looking for me and they overhear...?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Edogawa said, shifting the lollipop from one side of his mouth to the other. His teeth clicked against the candy as he spoke. “For one, this car’s completely empty and I seriously doubt it’s bugged. No reason to, you know? For another, the Port Mafia’s probably not looking for you right now. If they were...”

He bit down on his lollipop and a resounding crack echoed throughout the car.

“You’d be sitting in a torture chamber somewhere instead of here with me right now.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

“G-good point.”

“So you can relax,” he said, crunching loudly on the rest of his candy, seemingly oblivious to how relaxed I wasn’t now that he’d brought up the Port Mafia. “In any case, I do want to find out more about your Ability before we get to where we’re going so why don’t we talk about it?”

I nodded. But when I opened my mouth to speak, Edogawa raised his hand to stop me.

“Oh, sorry. I meant why don’t I tell you everything I know first and then you can fill in the rest?”

He grinned.

“Wouldn’t want the new recruit thinking Ultra Deduction is some mere parlor trick, now would we? Think of this as the first of many lessons, Kusunoki-kun! The Great Detective, Edogawa Ranpo will be your teacher today!”

As he whipped the glasses back out of his coat and stuck them on his face, I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew that this was technically my second big case at the Agency, making this the second of “many lessons.” As it stood, the person who had first taught me something important while we were on a job together was Kunikida...

Tucking the tips of my fingers below my ribbon, I touched my hand to my chest, where that familiar warmth began creeping back in as I pictured the bespectacled detective. I felt an odd sense of comfort when I thought about him, about his rigid, yet highly dependable nature. He was consistent, respectable, stable, a pillar of strength both literal and metaphorical that anyone in the Agency could rely on and yet somehow patient and kind when he needed to be.

And it didn’t exactly hurt that he was tall, blonde and gorgeous...

I was too tired to notice if he had come in or not this morning, probably forgot to say hello if he had, but if he was gone by the time I’d noticed his absences then he had to be out on an early morning case. Not surprising, given that he was a senior member and so reliable. But I did hope he was able to get enough rest last night and hadn’t lost any sleep over that fiasco with his notebook like I had...

“Kusunoki-kuuun...”

Edogawa snapped his fingers at me and I jolted up in my seat.

“Are you even paying attention?” he grumbled, “I was about to reveal exactly how I figured out you were an Ability User.”

“I’m paying attention!” I exclaimed, flushing in embarrassment as Edogawa stared doubtfully at me.

“Good,” he huffed, “Because the big reveal just isn’t as dramatic the second time you do it. Now then, let me tell you a little about my Ability first.”

He tapped on the corner of his glasses and continued.

“When I put these on, my Ultra Deduction activates, letting me see the truth behind any and all mysteries. It only took a second to figure out your status as an Ability User and a fledgling detective and here’s why. Let’s start with the most obvious.”

I nodded and scooted closer to listen. I was still pretty convinced Edogawa needed those glasses to see more than anything else but now I knew better than to interrupt him when he was clearly excited to show off.

“It’s pretty clear you aren’t one of the office clerks,” he said, gesturing to my clothes. “Because you aren’t dressed like one. You might be around the same age as Haruno-san and the others, but if you’re not wearing that gray skirt and vest, then you’re someone who’s meant to leave the office on official jobs.”

“Right...”

“On that note, Haruno-san wanted you to show me around. That’s something that only trainee detectives like Atsushi-kun are asked to do. And trainee detectives can only get in by taking the Entrance Exam. And the Entrance Exam...”

“Is only given to Ability Users who want to join the Agency,” I slowly pieced together, my eyes widening as the dots connected at last.

Edogawa grinned.

“Very good! As for how your Ability activates...”

He pointed at me.

“It has to be through touch. You have a tendency to hide your hands. When you can’t do that, you hold yourself at a physical distance from others, meaning you’re afraid to get too close to them, even someone like Haruno-san, who you seem to know well (she calls you Kyou-chan after all). We don’t live in a country where it’s common to greet others through things like handshakes or physical touch but you seem to take it much further than that. You’re definitely not a germaphobe judging by the condition of your workstation (I cringed) so I can only conclude that you avoid touching people to prevent activation of your Ability. Now, let’s talk about what your Ability actually is...”

Edogawa paused for dramatic effect and I leaned forward, not wanting to miss a single word. Despite gaining control over my Ability just over a week ago, I still didn’t completely understand the full limits of what I could do, even though I had just used my powers to solve my first case. If Edogawa had been right about everything so far, perhaps he could unlock the truth behind my visions...!

As I waited patiently for him to keep going, Edogawa blinked at me. Finally, he took off his glasses and said, “Uh, actually, Kusunoki-kun, this is the part where you tell me what your Ability does.”

I must’ve looked every bit as disappointed as I felt because Edogawa suddenly scowled and crossed his arms.

“Hey, hey! I’m a detective, not a wizard! I said I needed you to fill in the rest didn’t I? Before you start doubting my Ability, I’m going to deduce one last thing for you.”

Once again, he jabbed his finger at me, his bright green eyes narrowed to slits and his mouth stretched wide in a confident grin.

“Whatever your Ability is, it’s something you wish you didn’t have. You’ve seen things, haven’t you, Kusunoki-kun? You don’t have that air of innocence about you like certain other members of our civilian staff. If I’m going to be honest, I’d say the look in your eyes reminds me a little of Dazai-san when he first started here...”

I stiffened as Edogawa put his hand down, my eyes glued to the black frames once again sticking out of his pocket.

No. Impossible...

The image of the ghoul reappeared in my mind’s eye and I gripped my hands tightly to stop them from shaking. Had Edogawa somehow seen the hollow look in my eyes when he’d put those glasses on?

Just then, we passed into a tunnel.

One by one, the lights embedded into the ceiling above us flickered to life, casting the entire train in a vaguely chartreuse sheen as we passed through the darkness. There was a sickly green hue to Edogawa’s skin and as I looked away from him, I found myself slowly turning to the windows, with the sound of the train roaring loudly in my ears...

...where I saw a pale, fearful-looking young woman, with short dark hair and large burgundy eyes. There were no bloody tears and no bottomless pupils staring back at me from the darkened glass.

Just the ordinary reflection of a normal girl.

Suppressing a shudder, I turned away from the window and slumped back against the plastic seats.

“Edogawa-san...?”

He perked up.

“You’ve been right about everything else so far but you’re wrong about one thing.”

I felt my features twist into a disapproving scowl.

“I’m not like Dazai.”

I fell silent as Edogawa studied me, his gaze lingering forebodingly on my eyes.

“If you say so, Kusunoki-kun,” he said slowly. “If you say so...”

He fished another lollipop out of his pocket, a cherry-red one, and offered it to me.

“Here. Some brain fuel for the case. I believe Haruno-san said you liked sweets too.”

As I took the piece of candy from him, Edogawa smiled.

“And please, call me Ranpo. Everyone does. Tell me more about your Ability.”

***

“Woah...”

Edogawa turned and shot me a curious look as I paused at the street corner, gawking at our destination up ahead.

“First time seeing a burned building, Kusunoki-kun?”

I shook my head no and kept moving, jogging a little to catch up with Edogawa as he continued on towards the site. I’d seen burned structures before, just not anything quite like this.

Just ahead of us on the next street over were the charred, blackened remains of what used to be a small two-story home. The entire thing had been reduced to nothing more than ash and badly burned support beams and from a distance, it looked less like a real house and more like a charcoal outline someone had scrawled over the street. As we approached, I spotted several distinct bands of vivid yellow police tape stretched across the base of the building. There were a few officers scattered throughout the site, probably stationed there to keep civilians away and as we got closer, one of them, a tall, graying man in a blue blazer, looked up from his clipboard and waved to Edogawa.

“Edogawa-san! You’re here early.”

“Early?” I exclaimed, quickly turning from him to Edogawa in shock.

After we’d left the train station, “The Great Detective” had wandered off yet again and this time, he’d managed to actually get on a bus... going back in the direction we’d just come from! I’d spent so much time chasing him down and trying to get him to this badly burned house that I would’ve considered it a miracle if we’d made it before noon today. As Edogawa and the man in the blazer chatted away, I couldn’t help wondering what Kunikida would have to say about this once he’d read my report.

So much for thinking I could impress him by being punctual...

As I glanced down at my phone, wincing slightly when I saw the time, it suddenly rang in my hand.

I jumped, almost dropping the thing in my rush to press the answer button. I knew I was being paranoid but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Kunikida had somehow figured out I’d messed up already and had suddenly decided to call and check in on me.

“H-hello?” I ventured, praying I would magically think of the perfect excuse and escape the inevitable lecture that was sure to come.

“Kusunoki-kun! You actually picked up!” a very familiar voice chirped, sounding pleasantly surprised.

My relief at the call not being from Kunikida vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“Dazai-san...”

I sighed and put my hand over my face.

“What’s going on? Why are you calling me while I’m in the middle of a case?”

“Oh, so that’s where you went.”

Dazai’s voice was fuzzy with static.

“I just wanted to see if you got the rest of my texts last night.”

I grew quiet, trying to figure out if it would be better to lie to him or just hang up when Dazai suddenly snorted and said, “I’m kidding. I know you got them. You’re trying to think of some way to trick me, aren’t you?”

“I am not!” I shouted into the receiver, flushing scarlet when Dazai started laughing.

“There’s no need to sound so embarrassed! I think it’s cute that you’re trying so hard. But anyway, Kusunoki-kun, I need to tell you something—”

“Kusunoki-kuuuun!”

Edogawa was calling out to me from the front of the house, where he was standing next to the graying detective, waving his arm in the air.

“Come here! I need to introduce you to the person leading the case!”

“I’ll be right there!” I shouted back.

Turned back to the receiver, glaring at it as if I were glaring at Dazai himself, I all but crushed the phone in my hand as I spat out my response.

“Not now!”

I snapped my phone shut and shoved it back into my bag.

“This is Hatta Shotarou,” Edogawa said, gesturing to the man in the blazer as I hurried to join them. “He’s the one who requested my help today.”

“Nice to meet you.”

I bowed.

“I’m Kusunoki Kyou. I’ll be assisting Edogawa—I mean, Ranpo-san today.”

“Pleased to meet you, Kusunoki-kun.” Detective Hatta smiled. “I’d like to commend you for getting Edogawa-san here so quickly. We weren’t expecting you for at least another thirty minutes.”

My smile suddenly felt stiff.

“You what?”

“We’ve gotten so used to Edogawa-san getting lost and coming late that we’ve gotten into the habit of giving the Agency an extra hour to bring him to the appointed location,” Hatta elaborated as my smile went from being stiff to twitchy. “You’re doing pretty well for your first time assisting him. Now then, please come with me. We should get you both down to the basement before the press shows up.”

“The basement?” I repeated, surprised. “There’s a basement?”

Hatta nodded.

“Maybe I should be calling it a storage cellar instead. I know it’s rather unusual to have one, especially in a place like Yokohama, but the Ito’s had a small side business. They make their own pickles—been doing so for the past twenty years, from what we’ve found—and when their business grew, they had a cellar installed underneath the house.”

He took us around the side of the house and to the back, where I saw what looked like two blackened squares embedded into the scorched ground, next to a pile of burned trash. It was a pair of wooden doors, both badly burned, but not so much that I couldn’t make out the sets of handprints amidst the ash and soot. Two thin diagonal lines of police tape stretched from the corners in a giant “X,” and on the ground in front of the two doors was a broken lock and chain.

“Did someone break in?” I asked, pointing to the lock.

Hatta shook his head.

“We did that when we checked the basement and I’m glad we did.”

His mouth set into a firm line.

“We found a body down there.”

I froze.

“What?”

“A body inside a cellar that was locked from the outside?” Edogawa grinned. “Classic.”

“Who are they? How did they get in? What were they even doing there?” I sputtered as Edogawa’s hand descended upon my shoulder.

“That’s why we’re here,” he said, smirking. “Or rather...”

He flicked out his glasses.

“That’s why I’m here. Open the doors, Hatta-san.”

As if summoned by his words, a sudden gust of wind rushed through the site. Edogawa’s brown cape and pastel tie flapped madly in the wind and I pushed my hands over my skirt to keep it from flipping up.

“Special Ability: Ultra Deduction.”

He slowly settled the glasses on his nose and at once, his emerald-green eyes sharpened, rapidly flicking about the scene as he took in every piece of information he could find. When he turned to me, his smile was nothing short of victorious.

“Come on, Kusunoki-kun. The game is afoot.”

[toxicpineapple]

my (personal favourite) writings from 2019

I don’t have anything for January because I guess I didn’t write/didn’t post anything then? At any rate, here are my favourite writings from every month of 2019.

---

February:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17764769/chapters/41916899 : “To Give Life Meaning”, a 5+1 things Hinanami fic I wrote over the course of several days, mostly at night. The honourific situation with this one is messy and there are the beginnings of a lot of good lines? Like I know what I was trying to say. But it’s not the kind of thing that I would be happy posting nowadays. (Ignore the fact that it says it was completed in September of this year; I went through nine months later and separated the different sections into chapters so that it would be easier to read. I wrote and published all of it back in February.) This was the second Danganronpa fic I ever wrote.

Content warnings: Contains talk of suicide, and mentions of being suicidal. Generally in the past tense. Nobody is proactive in this fic.

---

March:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18232343 : “Hold his hand”, the very first Amasai one-shot I ever wrote. I got the idea for this one late at night thinking about how Shuichi would react if his mom died. I was actually going to write this with Ryoma comforting him, or Kiyo maybe, but I ended up doing Rantaro because I watched all of his FTEs with Shuichi and was like… I do like this green man. Anyway, I’m glad I did, because if I hadn’t I don’t know if the Amasai series would… even exist. That’s really weird to think about.

Content warnings: Minor character death on the part of Shuichi’s mother. The focus of the piece isn’t her dying (as it is in fact from Rantaro’s perspective) so much as it is the conflicting emotions that it stirs up for Shuichi, but it’s still, y’know, someone’s mother dying. Anyway, read with caution.

---

April:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468478 : “Does it matter?”, a late-night fic where Aoi is conflicted about her sexuality and calls Makoto to talk about it. I wrote a lot of one-shots in April (I actually surprised myself going through them haha) but this one is my favourite because it touches on things that I don’t see addressed a lot. Makoto and Aoi are good friends. 10/10.

Content warnings: Internalised homophobia. It hasn’t triggered anybody that I know of because it’s mostly just Makoto giving advice and Aoi coming to the conclusion that she really likes Sakura in a not-so-platonic way, but y’know.

---

May:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776947 : “Shuichi thinks too much”, another installment in the Amasai drabbles series, and… wow. I literally only posted Amasai in the month of May. This one is my favourite (of the ones I posted in May, obviously) because it’s the one where Shuichi realises that Rantaro is claustrophobic and then they have a messy first kiss in the wake of Rantaro’s panic attack. I like fics where Character A kisses Character B and B has to be like… slow down partner… ur panicking. I also just like milking Rantaro angst so it’s a win-win. I go back and read this one periodically :)

Content warnings: Panic attacks, claustrophobia. Shuichi is exhausted in this fic haha but at least he has his shit together enough to know exactly what he’s feeling through the whole thing.

---

June:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19210423 : “Quiet Moments”, an introspective drabble/character study in which Peko thinks about how much she loves Ibuki. Damn, I love Pekobuki. I haven’t written nearly enough for them. I wrote a lot of things in June (including an Undertale one-shot which was a strong contender for this spot just because this list is dominated by Danganronpa stuff) but this one is my favourite because it was just me… rambling about how much I love Ibuki… and projecting onto Peko. Which I do every time I write this pairing, but I didn’t make this list to call myself out, so yeah I’m just going to move on.

Content warnings: Peko briefly mentions that Fuyuhiko had to get an appendectomy within the piece, but it’s nothing intense.

---

July:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974424 : “Take his soul with a kiss”, a Grim Reaper AU in which Maki is Death and Kaito is a guy with the audacity to tell her to wait a week before grabbing her soul. I’ve finally hit the part of this summer where I was eating one meal a day and spending the rest of my time on my laptop writing fic. 14k words a day, babey! I wrote all my favourite pieces in July (Shuichi’s love hotel, the one where Rantaro pierces Shuichi’s ears, the domestic Hinanami, the one where Shuichi has a breakdown and everyone comforts him, that one where Shuichi is mean to Kokichi and then apologises) but this one definitely deserves to be here because it’s my favourite. I like Momoharu/Kaimaki/Harukaito (idk what y’all call it man) so, uh. Yeah.

Content warnings: Death is talked about a lot but I don’t want to spoil anything about the ending by saying shit so I’ll just??? It’s a Grim Reaper AU, procede with caution. Oh, and Kaito has a lung disease.

---

August:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442290/chapters/48499868 : “Causation and Correlation”, another 5+1 things fic (I have a good chunk of them) where Kyoko can hear death and so she goes around saving people. Also, in the end of the fic, someone saves her. It’s a cute fic and I love writing Kyoko so obviously this one is my favourite. (The one where Kokichi has parents and the Kaemugi fic I wrote that month are ones I really like too… this isn’t easy for me gamers ;w;) This is one of those fics where I was feeling extremely confident about my writing abilities the whole time I wrote it, and I’m still really proud of it.

Content warnings: Again, uh, death? Attempted murder, near-drowning, sickness, head injuries, and also attempted suicide. (Nobody dies in this fic, though.) Kyoko has her work cut out for her in this one.

---

September:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20577251 : “Cigarette smoke”, a vaguely nonsensical Saimota piece I wrote where Kaito breaks down and Shuichi comforts him. I’ve only written Saimota twice and both times it’s been Kaito angst because you guys, you just, you don’t address his sadness at all unless it’s in Oumota (and we all know how I feel about Oumota). I should start referring to September as “the month of angst fics I wrote in the middle of the night” because that’s exactly what all of it was. This one wasn’t a vent fic, but there were a lot of them. September is also the month I started doing Amami week, so there’s a lot of that, too.

Content warnings: Kaito really… berates himself in this one. His internal dialogue is hard for me to read in this one because he’s super hard on himself. He also has a meltdown and starts hyperventilating at one point (and the way I write breakdowns is always super descriptive) so please make sure you’re happy and healthy before reading.

---

October:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195527 : “In the forever sense of the term”, what is probably my favourite Amasai fic at this moment, where Shuichi and Rantaro are forced to address Shuichi’s abandonment issues, and also there’s crying. A lot of it. From Shuichi mainly but a little bit from Rantaro too. I was surprised at how many fics I wrote in October because I was mostly focusing on Inktober I should think? I wrote a lot of original works in Inktober (though I ended up falling off the wagon at the end due to burnout) and it was a really fun experience! I think it strengthened my skills as a writer. Anyway this one is cathartic as hell.

Content warnings: The self loathing is strong with this one. It’s one of many mental breakdown fics that I’ve written this year. And there’s obviously the abandonment issues thing. Yikes.

---

November:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399748 : “One hundred and twenty six tiles on the ceiling”, where Himiko ends up bailing on plans she made with everyone to hang out and instead stays at home, stewing in self deprecation, until Ryoma shows up, and then everyone else comes to take care of her. Another one of those ones where everyone is there for someone after a breakdown. I like this one because Himiko is my baby and most of the angst the fandom puts out for her is centered around Tenko and Angie, which sucks because I headcanon her as having depression. Like, depression that is entirely unrelated to the people she knows kind of depression. I didn’t write a lot in November because I had a relapse, but I like this one anyway.

Content warnings: Depressive episode, disassociating, suicidal ideation, all the ugly things that come with depression. This isn’t a pretty fic. I don’t write depression as something that’s pretty or poetic because it’s not. It fucking sucks and that’s just how things are going to be.

---

December:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976864/chapters/52442179 : “An Ode to Yellow Carnations”, a 5+1 things fic where Tsumugi is a florist and Kaede takes different people to her shop until eventually she goes by herself. Is anyone surprised to see this one here? I wrote it for Tumblr’s Danganronpa Secret Santa Gift Exchange 2019 and went waaaay overboard with it. Which is probably why I like it so much. It took me ten days to actually complete, and I’ll frame it like I was diligently writing the whole time, but anyone who knows me knows that I never do things in that way. In truth I switched ideas for the fic four different times and then wrote half of it all in one night when I was hit with a surge of inspiration. I was really nervous that the person I wrote it for would hate it since it’s so long, lol. (Hi Alerane, I love you.) Anyway, I’m gonna think of December of this year as the month where I spent a really long time on a bunch of fics and then posted them all at once.

Content warnings: Very minor character death, mentions of alcohol use (nothing egregious, just recreational use on an outing with friends and all the characters are of age), also Kaede doesn’t go outside in this fic.

---

I’m going to try and get out one more fic before the year ends. To be honest I wasn’t expecting to have updated Search by now so I’ve been kind of sitting around wondering what I should write. Maybe I should just start on the Aki chapter, but I’m kind of putting that off because writing those chapters takes a lot of energy and Aki’s is probably going to double Tsubaki’s in length. (Which is great, since Tsubaki’s was already a monster of a chapter on its own.) I’ve had a really great year for writing, y’all. I’ve made lots of friends and learned a whole lot about myself, and my writing style, and the characters I’m trying to portray.

I didn’t include any long-term multi-chapters in this list, like The Best Lies or my Fanganronpa (rip… I swear I’ll pick it back up again soon, I love those characters) but if you want to track my progress as a writer without reading eleven different fics, I’d really recommend reading one of those, because you can see it happening as the chapters go on. There’s so much that I’d probably write differently from where I am now as a writer, because that’s just how things work. Life is like that. You do things a certain way in the moment, and then later, you wish you could’ve done them differently. It’s impossible to live your life without regrets, or things that you’d like to do over again.

But for what it’s worth, I’m really happy that I don’t have to. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me this year. It hasn’t been the best, but it’s been all that it’s been capable of being.

Here’s to a new decade.

[thanksjro]

The Prequel

Eugenesis has a prequel, in the form of a 13-page comic called Liars, A-to-D, laying out the groundwork for what’s to come. If the title sounds familiar, it’s probably because it was reused in the first MTMTE storyline, covering issues #1-3. Roberts likes a little recycling, he does. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The art is more or less on-par for what one might have seen in the original cartoon, only it’s black and white. There’s a few points where the posing gets a little funky, but I can still tell who’s supposed to be who for the most part, and that’s pretty impressive for a colorless Transformers comic. Quality isn’t the crispest, but that’s most likely due to the scan I have.

This comic starts with a cold open, stating that 56 million years ago, the first Cybertronians sprung from the metal of the planet- the narration calls it “spontaneous evolution” and that it “just happened.” The narration seems to have trouble grappling with the vast number of chance events that go on, covering the “spontaneous" eruption of Mt. Hilary that lead to the Autobots being repaired and restored after four million years on Earth.

Oh, hey, Prowl.

Then we contrast these things that “just happened”, with something that, in the narrator’s opinion, didn’t “just happen”; at the signing of a treaty in the far-flung year of 2302, Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Springer, and Soundwave are all at the pulpit, with millions of spectators looking on. Suddenly, a whole city street just shows up out of nowhere, and full of ‘bots who are scared out of their wits. The event is brushed off as “spontaneous materialization”, but our narrator- who’s been revealed at this point to be Ultra Magnus, if the art is anything to go by- doesn’t agree. He certainly hopes that this isn’t what this is.

BOOM. 12/21/12, just like I said it would happen. And hey! It’s James Roberts! That guy this blog is following through these writings. Good to know he’s actually here now.

I tried looking up Matt Dallas and Graham Thomson, but didn’t get much on either of them. I’m guessing they didn’t do a whole lot in this vein after this publication.

Star Saber is in this, apparently. Can’t wait to see him, and what he’s bringing to the table. I, truthfully, don’t know a whole lot about Star Saber, outside of the IDW comics, so I’m genuinely interested to see what he’s like.

Our first shot within the prequel proper is of space debris floating over the planet Cybertron, with a weather report. That tells me something’s going to fall out of the sky at some point. Call it a hunch.

I’d call it “understanding foreshadowing as a concept”, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.

We cut to a television broadcast of Galvatron, who’s encouraging ‘bots to join the Decepticons. It’s a hell of a recruitment video, being broadcasted everywhere, even underground, where the Autobots are hiding. There’s even a call number. Chromedome asks Prowl if he should give it a ring, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that’s such a great idea.

For some reason, Prowl has this little ring floating above his head in these panels, and I keep reading it as a halo. As far as I know, he’s not dead, so I don’t know why this is happening. Unfortunate framing against the background, perhaps, but the backgrounds in this scene are all pretty blocky, so that doesn’t make a ton of sense either.

Oh, hey, Chromedome. How’s the hubby? You’re looking very Headmaster-y today.

Meanwhile, at the recording studio, it’s revealed that Galvatron wasn’t making that call to action at all- it was a puppet, all part of a rig set up by Soundwave, in the light of Galvatron not having spoken to anyone in ages, presumably in some sort of comatose state.

Now, surely I mean an actor when I say puppet, right?

No. No, I don’t.

I love how awkward everyone looks here. You have the guy with the clap board, who’s obviously never used one in his life, just standing off to the side waiting for some direction, the guy working the puppet who looks like he’s about to drop their great leader’s torso on national television, and Gun Guy. Soundwave really knows how to pick ‘em. I know it isn’t an ideal situation, but a little more upper body strength on the puppeteer would make things go a lot smoother.

Also, hot tip: if you have to use the word “subjugate” when talking about your cause, that means you’re on the wrong side of history, my dude. No non-evil group would ever use that terminology. I know the Decepticons are still cartoonishly evil at this point, but geezum crow, that’s a bit on the nose.

We get another weather report, then check in on our dear Prime, Rodimus, who’s in the middle of an exorcism- his own, to be precise. It doesn’t go anywhere, and Kup interrupts him having what looks like a seizure as he tries fruitlessly to get Unicron out of his body.

Meanwhile, in Helex, what was supposed to be a routine surveillance mission isn’t turning out so hot. The Autobots and Decepticons are at a standoff on a bridge. It ends poorly for just about everyone- some guy gets his head blown clean off! Sixshot is about to make a killing blow, when he’s crushed under a massive chunk of space metal.

Up in the skies, an Autobot ship is being chased by everyone’s favorite time-traveling pals, Cyclonus and Scourge. Scourge is looking extra boaty today.

…Cyclonus, you’re also a fly-boy. You’re arguably more of a fly-boy than Scourge is right now, because you actually look like something that can fly. This is after Headmasters, so I suppose we can forgive him being a little stupid.

While they’re being attacked, the Autobot ship picks up the signatures of thousands of unidentified objects, and then is immediately pelted with tons of metal falling out of the sky.

Foreshadowing! It’s never let me down. And hey, it’s that space metal that squashed Sixshot.

The Autobot ship abandoned, Cyclonus and Scourge head of the surface of the planet to regroup. Scourge asks who was aboard the ship, and when he’s told it was Nightbeat, Fastlane, and Cloudraker, he gets spooked.

And then he explodes.

I’m right there with you, Cyclonus. I don’t know why that happened, either.

The following day, Rodimus is in the lab with Perceptor, taking a gander at one of the larger pieces of space metal- they’ve sussed out that it’s the core of Moonbase 2, which was lost eons ago. The odd thing is, it’s covered in writing that isn’t Cybertronian. Something fishy’s going on. Rodimus tells Perceptor to store the moon core at Eocra for now, and not to tell the high council anything just yet.

All pieces in place, I suppose, we head back to the odd scene we left at the treaty signing, where the city street popped into existence without warning. The pedestrians on said street are taken into custody, where they’re questioned by way of police brutality. They claim to be from 2013, and then the sci-fi jargon hits hard and I couldn’t really tell you what it means.

What I can glean from this, however, is that maybe storing the moon base core in Eocra wasn’t such a hot idea.

The 2013-era ‘bots are thrilled to not be in their current year, seeing as they were witnessing the end of the world when they were transported. Now, remember, this comic takes place in 2302, so something’s clearly going on here. Are they lying? Suffering from time-sickness? From a parallel universe? We’ll have to read the novel to figure that one out. Still, our narrator has a bad feeling about all this, and Ultra Magnus goes down to visit Primus, where they store the memory banks of all the survivors of the war, lamenting that there are so few “true” ones left. True survivors include, but aren’t limited to: Rodimus, Perceptor, Soundwave, Sludge- a dinobot- Galvatron, Ultra Magnus himself, and Wheelie, whose canister seems to have some sort of caveat.

Well, that can surely only mean good things.

In the postscript- yes, not an epilogue, but a postscript- we summarize what’s just happened: the accounts of multiple spontaneous events, and the promise that the past will come back to haunt us. Fun stuff. We’re left with a final look at the symbol that was left on the moon core, which will surely play into the story to come.

I also have, at my disposal, the script that Roberts wrote for Liars, A-to-D, which, as far as I know, is the first comic script he’d ever written.

Because I have access to the script, some of the more interesting details are made known. Hey, guys I found Star Saber- he was the guy I thought was Ultra Magnus, and is actually the narrator. Whoops. I suppose that would explain why he was presented in this comic on the title page. In my defense, there’s only one good shot of his face in the whole comic, and they have very similar heights and shoulders.

Star Saber, I am so sorry. That one’s completely on me.

The script allows us to figure out who some of the lesser known characters are- for example, the ‘bot holding the Galvatron puppet up is named Pounce. Get some more bicep curls into your workout routine, Pounce.

We can also get a little insight into scenes that we otherwise wouldn’t.

He’s reciting the Primal Pentechurch here, for his exorcism. This can probably be decoded. Neat!

I can also put some names to the Autobots that are featured in the Helex standoff, including Quark. No, not that one. Different guy- this one turns into a hover-car.

His character description is actually in the script, addressing the artist, Matt Dallas. It’s pretty in-depth, like the sort of direction one would give for an art commission of their OC, which I suppose it is in a way.

Little fact about myself: I went to college for film production, specifically in script and screenplay writing. I know a thing or two about scripts. You typically don’t do this within the script itself, but rather in the character bio, because it can mess up the pacing of the script-to-screen ratio; one page of script amounts to roughly one minute of screen time. Now, this obviously isn’t the exact same thing, seeing as it’s a comic script, but it stuck out to me.

Still, for a cherry script, it’s not bad. And, after all, I didn’t study for comic scripting, so what do I know? I’m just some asshole on the internet, I don’t get paid for this.

Oh right, I can figure out what the hell happened to Scourge; there was apparently a bomb inside of his chest, that he decided to set off right in front of his buddy Cyclonus. No mention as to WHY this happened, though. We’ll have to save that question for the novel proper.

Right, that happened. There’s a lot of unintentional vore in the UK Transformers comics.

In the script, the names on the cabinets don’t exactly match up with what’s seen in the comic. Wheelie isn’t mentioned at all- one has to assume the comic’s inclusion of him is a little jab at the character for being what some might call “annoying”. Sludge also isn’t listed, but Prowl and Nightbeat are. Their cabinets might be hidden behind Star Saber, and therefore out of shot.

So, final thoughts: this script was… okay. Roberts clearly knows what he wants included, and makes his vision known, perhaps a bit too strictly in places. All in all, completely serviceable, did everything a script is supposed to do, but nothing amazing. And that’s fine! I’d honestly be worried if the script here was on par with what we got seven years later. Writers are supposed to grow and improve.

But now it’s time to prepare ourselves for the prose writing. Up next- Eugenesis!

[seddm]

STARCO OVERVIEW - Season 2 (part 1)

SEASON 1

SEASON 2 (part 1) (part 2) 

SEASON 3 (Incoming)

SEASON 4 (Incoming)

MY NEW WAND (2x01a)

Ignoring all the questions that naturally come with a season premiere opening on Star videochatting in the bathroom while Marco is taking a shower - questions that usually lead to “why the shit did they need four seasons to start smooching”, My New Wand finally introduces the idea that Star might feel something more than friendship for Marco. We aren’t told what she wrote in her diary (even if we know now, thanks to the Book of Spells, and it’s essentially a slightly more consciously skewed toward romance version of Marco’s “I felt like this since the beginning” in Here to Help), 

but the structure of the scene and the “diary of a teenage girl which can’t be seen by her bestie” clearly directed the attention of the viewers in a very defined direction. One subtly highlighted by the super inconspicuous shape of the key (sure, lots of Star’s spells and elements are heart shaped or themed, but in this specific case having the concepts such as “heart” “key” “secret diary” and “crush” all in one shot is suspicious at the very least).

As usual, UNCONSCIOUS FEELINGS: Star was generically embarrassed about Marco reading her diary, because that’s something any teen girl would do. She wasn’t consciously crushing on Marco yet at this point, at most she sometimes felt things like “wow he’s cute” and stuff like that on top of an incredibly strong relationship. It’s akin to what Marco experiences in Blood Moon Ball, but since Star is more “aggressive” with her feelings, and since Marco is going to get serious with Jackie, she’s going to consciously include “romantic attraction” in the recipe of her friendship with Marco about half a season earlier than him. 

Another important element in the episode is the introduction to dipping down, a proper version of what Star did in Storm the Castle. Long story short, as Moon tells Star, the key to dipping down are strong emotions. 

Wanting to save Marco when Toffee kidnapped him, being embarrassed about him reading her diary here. I’m not saying that Marco is the only key to Star’s maturing, obviously - and later on she’s going to dip down even more for reasons not directly connected to him, but this early in the show he always is, one way or another, the focal point of her character arc, and Glossaryck knows it and uses him to teach his problematic student in unorthodox ways - it’s clear that he’s the one who closed Marco in the closet in this episode, and directed him toward Star’s diary, well knowing that it might have helped her get a first feeling of what dipping down is like. He literally says that finding Star’s secret is the way to have her reach the chunks, which is what he used with her as a metaphor for channeling magic through dipping down.

So strong emotions = dipping down --> Marco = source of very strong emotions for Star. Not the only source, but definitely the main one, especially in S1 and S2. This is an important point for Star’s whole character arc: it’s true that in S3 and S4 there are going to be less meaningful Star - Marco interactions, and that they’re both going to have many more moments of growth while interacting with other characters, but that’s the whole point of it. At the beginning of the series both dorks are walking disasters; by interacting together, by complementing each other and their shortcoming, they slowly mature into something better, individuals who are now ready to start stepping (slowly, very slowly, their journey won’t be complete until the end of the series) into the real world and take on it. So while I’m the first one who got frustrated and saddened by the relative lack of Starco moments in later seasons (relative is the keyword) it’s also important to keep in mind that it never meant that their relationship became less important and relevant, just that during their first months together they left a real and tangible effect on each other, leading to meaningful growth that allowed the writers to believably open up roads to different kind of interactions and “plot devices” for growth. This is what I mean when I say things like “meeting Marco is what allowed Star to defeat Toffee”. Obviously there are several degrees of separation, and several moments of growth / plot for Star that didn’t even involve Marco, but without their meeting she wouldn’t have matured as fast, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to confront herself with a friend who was ready to help put some order in her super messed up life life. From the Book of Spells: “When we are together he sees the chaos in the world and sort of embraces it”. This is a direct quote from Star’s diary, something the writers of the show wanted to point out before S4 while referring to early S1 Star.

Marco has been, since the beginning, the first and most important key to Star’s development (even if not the only one), the “force” that first allowed her to start her journey toward maturity and become the kind of person who could go from being “a skimmer” to being proud of being “a dipper”. And in this S2 premiere we get a very direct taste of it, with Glossaryck using Marco as a bait to help Star learn.

Important bonus: the face Star makes for a handful of frames after having seen a naked Marco being YEETed across her room.

MR. CANDLE CARES (2x02a)

I wrote a lot about this episode in multiple posts, so I’m going to be extremely focused on the Star - Marco stuff only this time: 

Marco smiles like that when he sees Star getting out from the office, and it endlessly warms my heart.

Both Star and Marco are clearly not thinking about each other in romantic terms in the slightest during this episode, the former harshly denying the possibility of any feeling for her bestie, the latter not being ashamed in the slightest about talking about creative making out techniques to trick Tom into revealing himself. And yet just two segments earlier Star didn’t want Marco to read a part of her diary where she might have said something crush-related. Unconscious feelings, Heart and Mind not agreeing on something, it’s always the same deal, the whole show is going to play with this idea of extreme disconnection between what one might feel and what one might consciously know they want (concept directly introduced in Sleepover) as a way to justify the ever growing emotional intimacy between Star and Marco while taking their sweet time to actually deliver any romance related developments. We all have to accept it, or it becomes frustrating and impossible to read some of the passages in the series, especially during S3 and early S4, because we’d get lost in trying to plot the trends of their feelings on a graph and that’s a fool’s errand. When the show wants to tell us “A CHARACTER FEELS SOMETHING STRONGLY AND THIS THING IS IMPORTANT” they’re not subtle about it, and that’s vastly more important than anything else.

Marco stops playing to dreamingly appreciate Star and state how endearing he finds a part of her personality which might be frustrating to most (and it is to Tom, despite him also being attracted to it at the same time).

Appreciating your partners’ quirks is Love Story Writing 101, and this is going to be particularly evident in Curse of the Blood Moon (”I like every single thing about you”) and Here to Help (Star chuckling at Marco’s clumsiness). In this specific case it’s obviously premature to talk about “love” and it’s mostly a delicious bonus that presents a comparison between Tom and Marco, evidencing both their points in common (they’re both fascinated by Star’s personality and individuality) and differences (Tom is frustrated by this part of Star’s personality as well, since it doesn’t mix well with his controlling nature, while Marco learned to embrace it).

The important part, my favorite example to show people why and how Marco had an incredibly important influence on Star’s growth, especially during the first part of the series: Star spends most of the day panicking over Mr. Candle and then her mom’s words, she feels trapped in a role she didn’t want, lacking any freedom and prospect in life beyond her role as a future queen (interestingly she feels stuck in life, just like Marco in the following episode, but not out of lack of direction, but excess of it!). Then Marco gets home, talks to her for twenty seconds, and he immediately manages not only to calm her down, but he also gives her a new perspective on her life, and on her possibilities as a princess (and we know that she is definitely going to use her authority in her own way during S3), all of this while always following the style outlined by Blood Moon Ball: not a teacher or someone who tells her what she should do, just a friend nudging her in the right direction, telling her what she needed to hear. A Version 1.0 of his speech about finding your own happiness from Beach Day, in a way - the theme of free will and self determination was present since the beginning, even if at the time there obviously seemed to be less freedom in Star’s life, since she was supposed to inherit the throne, eventually.

Bonus points for the Alphonse The Worthy’s portrait from Blood Moon Ball moving his eyes to look at the two hugging, and for the demon highlighting with “point Marco” that he ultimately won the day when it came to wanting to be at Star’s side. Minus point for Star still acting coy at Tom’s compliment showing that she still had unresolved attraction for him. 

RED BELT (2x02b)

The events of the episode itself aren’t particularly related to Starco, but it formally introduces Marco’s own “coming of age” arc, by telling us that he’s scared about being stuck in life, left without a goal or a purpose and without any meaningful connection. Needless to say that the “squire arc” from Sophomore Slump to The Knight Shift is going to address this, and that Star (as a person, but also as a mean to step into a bigger world) is going to be fundamental for Marco’s growth. While talking about the series premiere I mentioned that Star’s main role in Marco’s life is helping him become a better version of himself, stepping out of his comfort zone and managing to find his own path toward fulfillment and happiness, and Star is not just going to be extremely important for this, in different ways during the many different arcs, but she’s eventually going to be identified as THE single most important element. In The Knight Shift Marco is going to realize that he wants a lot of things from his life, that he wants to make experiences and slowly decide what he wants to do in the future without being scared about having to figure out everything here and now, lest being left behind, but he’s also going to realize that Star’s presence is essential to his happiness, that their relationship is the one lifelong post he feels like he has to commit, despite being just a teen with all his life in front of him.

So Red Belt doesn’t really have any relevant Starco interactions, but it introduces a part of Marco’s journey as a character that’s going to be incredibly connected to Star’s presence in his life.

As for the nightmare itself, don’t ask. It uses a lot of generic dream-like imagery to make things confusing and symbolic, with some elements from the first half of the season (Mr. Candle, the colors green and purple, associated to the magic subplot, the suit from Bonbon The Birthday Clown...). Maybe the Blood Moon being there was on purpose, a symbol for “you’re worried about having no goal in life, but your friend can be the key for you to gain maturity and fulfillment!”, maybe it was just “red belt, red balloon, spooky imagery... let’s put in the Blood Moon!”. Lots of things in visual media are done just for “rules of cool” or to give the scene a particular kind of mood that can help focus the attention of the viewers.

STAR ON WHEELS (2x03a)

This episode, in its extreme weirdness, is like an a super condensed recap of the important parts of Star and Marco’s relationship - with focus on the Star’s side of things, but there’s also some for Marco:

Star she gets excited about Marco teaching her something about Earth culture - riding a bike, which at the same time is also something new that could be compared to her getting her wand;

She overdoes and she messes up / can’t properly handle the situation;

Marco gets overwhelmed by this, but then learns to embrace the weirdness of Mewni / magic for Star’s sake (more or less like what happened in the first episode, or at least during her first encounters with Star and her world);

and Star has to come to terms with the fact that she’s in another dimension now, embracing part of it just like Marco did, and growing from it, and Marco has a big role in convincing her about it;

And while it’s at it, the episode includes other important themes (central to Star as a person in general, but in this case highlighted through her interactions with Marco), such as Star’s stubbornness and hostility toward doing and learning stuff when just told what to do,

and the resulting moment of learning and growth when Marco, instead of just “ordering her” what to do, gives her some of the trust that she desperately needs, and with it the confidence to actually try and succeed on her own (this all connects to the larger arc of Glossaryck teaching Star stuff in unconventional ways).

And since it never hurts we get reminded one more time how much Star resents being lied to and how important trust is to her.

Obviously the whole episode is extremely silly, the whole situation requires a lot of suspension of disbelief to work and the “emotional moments” of the episode are extremely hammed up - we get a heartwarming “I trust you.” moment when the situation at hand involves learning to ride a bike! But it’s still a good way to have in a slick 11 minutes long package a super-cut of (part of) what Star and Marco brought into each other’s lives, and how that affected them and their way to interact with the world. 

FETCH (2x03b)

Wow look in an episode that directly introduces the “stop running from your problems” arc for Star we get told by Sta herself that having your own Marco is important to give you the support you need to feel less overwhelmed by life - and thus less prone to ignore problems, it’s almost like he’s important to her in that way and that in Lint Catcher the dubbin vows when she makes him her squire further drive home the idea that he’s her ideal companion.

STAR VS ECHO CREEK (2x04a)

Another episode about “running away from problems”, in this case Star physically runs away from her problems and tries to avoid consequences. And sure, at the beginning of the episode Marco tries to tell her not to run away and we could argue once again about the positive influence and role Marco has on Star, but we know about it already. What’s REALLY important and huge is that by the end of the episode Star, the same person whose greatest fear in S1 was going to St. Olga and thus losing her freedom, gets convinced while talking with her own subconscious that going to prison (= facing problems and consequences instead of running away carefree) is a better alternative to never being able to see Marco again.  This is the same concept I talked about at the beginning of the post: it’s not like Marco is the ONLY important person in Star’s life, she obviously loves her family as well and in later seasons she’s going to interact with other characters as well, but at this point of the story Marco is the person who she actively cares the most about, and the one who better understands her (this is going to be a constant throughout the series, obviously), so almost all big moments of learning and self reflection for Star are somehow related to him. And while saying that Marco is the most important person in the world to Star (and vice versa) might not have been entirely correct by this point of the series (mostly because we lacked proper perspective), it becomes absolutely true by the end of it, as their choices in Cleaved highlight. 

So yes, sure, logically speaking, and going beyond the simple plot of this episode, Star would have missed a number of persons if she spent her life hiding just to run away from her problems, but as far as early S2 experiences and subconscious goes, it all relates back to Marco, one way to another. After all we know that they both had an intense and special relationship from the beginning, and it’s going to keep being something unique that they don’t share with anyone else throughout the whole show, even when they’re going to date other people, even when there aren’t going to be as many episodes featuring both of them together.

Bonus gratuitously adorable shot. Marco didn’t love-love Star from the beginning, we know that, but Gloss damnit, did he LOVE her from the beginning. I know that the series might not have had the best of pacing and some choices concerning shipping planted doubts and frustration in many fans, but no other two characters in the series come even remotely as close to Star and Marco when it comes to unabashedly caring about the other to incredibly extremes. THIS is what Marco means when he says that he felt like this from the beginning, and THIS is what Star means when she says (albeit in her diary in the Book of Spells) that she never connected with anyone else in the same way. This has never changed in intensity throughout the show (if anything it grew), even if it got the spotlight of an episode way less frequently.

WAND TO WAND (2x04b)

Yet another episode about Star learning not to avoid problems and responsibilities as much, and another episode that doubles down of how important Star’s feelings for Marco (I mean “feelings” in the broadest possible term, not as in “still unconscious crush” only) are for her magic. I already said this like five times, but I really want for the point to come across: I’m not saying that everything Star does, learns, or everything concerning her magic, has to relate to Marco, Starco, or to her growing crush on him, nor that Marco is the only one who ever helps Star grow. What I mean is that during all of S2 Marco is the single biggest source of feelings for Star, and this includes good stuff and negative stuff, such as all the emotional turmoil cased by Jarco. But this all plays into helping Star mature, culminating in Starcrushed. The S2 finale constitutes the climax to Star’s “stop running away from problems” arc, culminating in her accepting her role as a princess and going off to face Toffee, but this goes hand in hand with confessing her crush to Marco. Star finds the determination to grow and take The Plot™ head on, thus eventually saving Mewni (multiple times), and this part of her character arc is inextricably connected to her “learn to admit your own feelings for Marco” arc. THIS is what establishes their relationship as utterly special, and what allows me to claim that Marco had a fundamental role in Star’s coming of age story, well beyond the limits of what he personally and actively did with and for her.

When the series shows us that Marco is the key to Star tapping into her magic and better learning to use it it’s not because of some lore or plot related connection between the two, or between Starco and Magic - we have seen that’s not the case: magic is connected to emotions, and Marco happens to be the single biggest source of emotions for Star. That’s what it’s all about.

The episode ends with Star using brooms to fix her messes instead of magic, which is yet again a nice moment of “Star embracing part of Marco’s world”, but it’s not really that important in the big picture since it’s not like Earth’s ways are inherently better, it’s just important for Star at this point of her arc.

STARSTRUCK (2x05a)

Marco being right about Mina and still not rubbing it in Star’s face at the end is very cute and sets a difference between most of cartoon relationships and Starco, but it’s not that important, this is a solo-learning episode for Star.

CAMPING TRIP (2x05b)

This episode is like a fanfiction come to life, in a good way. The idea of Star’s crush on Marco is not going to be directly introduced until Sleepover, but in this episode she still acts differently, we are shown a side of Star that definitely leans closer to thinking of Marco as more than a friend - and this contributes to the main plot of the episode, where River is presented as a dad going through a middle age crisis, worried about losing her daughter to some boy who’s going to take her way from her home. AND YET NOTHING IS CONSCIOUS YET. THAT’S HOW THE SHOW DOES IT. During the episode Star is unmistakably closer to Marco usual, “happier” to spend time with him, but that doesn’t change anything in their relationship in further episodes and that still doesn’t help her be any more conscious about her feelings until Just Friends. There’s absolutely no contradiction here because it follows the inner rules the show adheres to.

I love this scene. Eden’s delivery of the line is incredible, conveying the eagerness in Star’s voice, a different kind than what we are used to and that immediately suggested (even at the time the episode aired, when we didn’t have the luxury of hindsight yet) that something was different. Not as in “something inside Star changed”, as I said we are still far away from any epiphany, just that the writers and boarders wanted to show a specific side of Star’s inner sphere in this episode.

And it’s even more interesting in hindsight, because comparing this scene with the dance in Curse of the Blood Moon, Mama Star, and Here to Help, shows us that Star and Marco (in this case it focuses exclusively on Star, Marco is denser after all) have always been very close to acting on their feelings - the entirety of them, and that they were usually just distracted by other things (other romantic interests, being stupid and dense, fear of change). When they have a moment to be alone, just the two of them, free from any other concern and focused just in each other, they immediately start to inch closer to embracing all of their relationship. 

Let me clarify: 

In Curse of the Blood Moon Star and Marco finally actually fall in Love for the first time after having danced together for a minute or so. Obviously the episode itself was a moment of high stress and tension, but once inside the Severing Stone they didn’t have to think about anything else for a moment. “We do this and everything will be fixed, we’ll be free of these obnoxious, unwanted feelings that get in the way!”, and by thinking that they let their guards down for a moment and enjoy each other’s presence, focusing on nothing more for the span of a dance, and that’s enough to lead them to understand that they do like it, a lot, and that they’d want to always be like that and that they had been running away from something beautiful all that time.

In Mama Star as soon as the Magic washes away all of Marco’s concerns and emotional blocks, he immediately confesses his love to Star, baring all of himself and revealing that what he desires the most is always being at her side.

Here to Help presented us once again with a context of stress and high tension, sure, but while in the barn Star and Marco could focus on themselves and nothing else for a moment, forgetting all about Mina and Mewni and anything else, and we know how that ended.

So I don’t mean that Star was about to confess her undying love for Marco in Camping Trip, just that the situation that was about to unfold (before River’s arrival) would have allowed for Star to focus less about “Marco is just a friend and you don’t feel weird things for your friends”, and more on “being with Marco makes me happy”. Which is the very essence of what “With or without magic we belong together” stands for.

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

“Let me just subtly remind you that Marco and Star have a positive influence on each other and that their meeting is the meeting of dimensions and cultures” - The Show

The whole “River thinks Marco is Star’s boyfriend and that he stole her affection from him” is clearly played for laughs, but we still get an external character validating Marco’s efforts in helping Star out, and he also essentially approves of Marco being Star’s boyfriend. Which means absolutely nothing (with the exception of Wrtahmelior in Lake House Fever parents never ever butt in their kids’ relationships in this show, so their opinions have never been considered relevant when shipping is involved), but it’s still nice.

Bonus: Star is specifically animated looking at Marco in several occasions throughout the episode, way more then usual, “stealing glances” even. External link to the GIFs because Tumblr sucks and they’d make the whole post too heavy to load.

STARSITTING (2x06a)

In case you weren’t persuaded the first eighteen times I said that Star and Marco complement and help each other grow and be the best version of themselves, here’s an episode explicitly telling the viewer that. With a side of “dorks acting like parents” and a generous helping of “one day they’ll also understand they love each other” because there’s no way they didn’t want to tease that as well with the way these sentences are constructed. 

Bonus points for Star complimenting Marco for his skills with babies. DAD MATERIAL. ONE THOUSAND BABIES.

BY THE BOOK (2x07b)

This episode doesn’t really have any important Star - Marco interactions (even if it sure has cute ones, team work is the dream work. That’s how the saying goes, right?), but it reinforces the idea that Star learns things only in unconventional ways, something that often involves Marco during S2.

GAME OF FLAGS (2x08a)

Ignoring for a moment that Marco gets invited to what’s a family event, and that Star eagerly pairs up with him as Them Vs Her Families (ok I know that it makes full sense given the plot of the episode and it doesn’t mean there are any “Star and Marco as family” undertones here, but let me dream a bit ok?), the important stuff comes at the end: just like he did in Mewnipedence Day (albeit in a more direct way this time), Marco opens up Star’s eyes to the reality of the situation, snapping her out from a tradition she accepted without ever questioning it. And she doesn’t just back down, she tries to change things, she steals the flags, risking her own health, to claim the hill for all of them and change for good the nature of the event, just like she’s going to try and change Mewni. Once again the importance of Marco’s role in Star’s arc is evident, and once again he’s not a “teacher” who tells Star what to do, and even less a “savior” who has all the right answers for Mewni. He’s just a concerned friend who knows what kind of person Star really is, and who can give her a new perspective on things that helps her mature her own, personal, unique views. Views that are eventually going to forever change Mewni.

MEETING OF TWO INDIVIDUALS, MEETING OF TWO DIMENSIONS. The show begins with Star and Marco meeting it ends with their dimensions being cleaved together, they BOTH brought a new perspective on life to the other! It’s more apparent for Marco, since his advice pushed Star in a direction that has big effects on the plot itself, but Marco’s life was completely changed by Star as well, if in S3 he’s able to move to Mewni to have his “French Summer” and then in S4 he understands that importance of being true to what you want to commit to it’s only thanks to the crazy princess who helped him get out of his shell and make his first steps into real life. THIS is the very essence of what the show is, of Star and Marco being the tools to each other’s growth and happiness! 

SLEEPOVER (2x09a)

One might expect a long section about this episode, but I’m going to keep it short: forget about all the “but how does the Cube work?” “who did lie?” and stuff like that. The important messages of the episode are crystal clear:

- Star Butterfly has a crush on Marco Diaz. No matter how conscious or unconscious it was at this point, the show told us directly, not just through undertones and themes anymore, that Star had specifically romantic feeling for Marco as well.

- Feelings are confusing. You Heart might feel like it wants something, but your Head doesn’t know that and it thinks you want something else. This is what the series bases everything related to relationships and romance on. This is why Star can be utterly convinced that she likes Oskar, at this point of the series, while actually having growing feelings for Marco. This is why Marco can move to Mewni, leaving Earth and his old life behind, while still not realizing the full extent of why he felt such a need to be with Star, and so on. The whole series plays with the idea that Star and Marco’s feelings for each other keep linearly growing throughout the show, but don’t always consciously influence their actions and thoughts in the same way.

And that’s why by the end of the episode the boarders can nudge our arms and go “Hey, hey, see that Star is sad when Marco ignores her because of Jackie? Hey, hey, that’s the seed of jealousy, that relates to love! Look at that!”, but then in Naysaya Star can be super happy for Marco scoring a date with Jackie. Dumb teens who don’t know what they want. 

This line seemed so mature and deep at the little, little did we know the writers would have squeezed every last drop out of this concept as a way to justify things like Star and Marco completely ignoring their supposedly burning desire from Booth Buddies until Curse of the Blood Moon and then again until Mama Star. No, bad Seddm, no salt and negativity in these happy posts!

Let’s close this part here so that the core messages have more focus and remain more clear, but I wanted to point out that Star really loves involving Marco and having fun with him. Which is something we already knew but it always feels good pointing it out.

GIFT OF THE CARD (2x09b)

“Starco Teasing: The Episode”, also known as “How to have your main characters act like soulmates while still keeping everything in the episode frustratingly platonic only”.

From Star going [soft gasp] at how incredibly Marco looks in his ballet shoes

To the plot device of the episode being a gift for their anniversary... as friends, to everything else in the episode.

Ok this is clearly part of the gag but it’s also damn cute.

Star and Marco actually pour their hearts out with no recriminations here, and while it’s not something weird at all for this kind of scenes, where the characters think they’re going to die but the viewers are fully aware that it’s just the setup for a punchline, it’s still cute and a good example of the bases of their relationship.

The fact that this scene is not played for laugh, and that Star genuinely appreciates Marco saying it instead of going “OH SO YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOUR BUTT”, goes in the big pile of “Why do I like Starco more than any other fictional relationship?” pile.

Never mind how horribly frustrating Marco’s “let’s die in each other arms so people will know that we were friends, yep, just friends, that’s the first thing everyone would think!” is: this is an alpha version of Cleaved, Star and Marco think that they’re going to die and that there’s nothing more they can do, and their reaction is to hug and hold hands, just wanting to be together in their last moment. The whole episode doesn’t really have high stakes and it’s clearly a silly, over the top adventure, but the emotions the dorks show are very real, and exemplifying of how in love (used in the broadest possible meaning, not with a strictly romantic connotation) they were already at this time.

And this is what Star decides to get excited about, not having survived. Again, a gag, but it still fits well, it’s not played for laughs with malicious intents or to mock their friendship.

PIZZA THING (2x12b)

Nothing major nor new since it’s something we saw as early as in the second segment of the series already, but Star has learned to enjoy a “calmer” way of having fun compared to what she was used to on Mewni, thanks to Marco’s presence, being more than happy to watch TV on the couch instead of going partying around, sometimes. Also the whole concept of “Friendship Thursdays” is adorable.

NAYSAYA (2x13b)

“How can Star be this eager to help Marco out with Jackie and cheer for him when in Sleepover she was s-” HEART AND MIND DISAGREEING SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS she genuinely likes helping Marco and making him happy and won’t fully realize until Just Friends that this just means pushing him in the arms of someone who is not her, shut up!

With this out of the way, this episode features The scene showing just how much Star helps Marco getting out of his comfort zone, taking risks that go well beyond kicking monsters and going into other dimensions and becoming a better version of himself, one who can achieve his own happiness (Jackie is a small part of this, this concept of “achieving happiness” is going to be much more relevant in S4 and Star’s role in it for Marco - and viceversa - is literally going to be the main attraction during the series finale).

Hey look, Marco’s biggest fear is being alone (as in, feeling alone as an individual, without meaningful connections, not being literally alone) and without a goal and a meaning in his life. And for a time he’s going to delude himself in thinking that Jackie and school can be that, but then in Sophomore Slump he has to slowly accept and realize that Star is the only one who can give him that!

Wowie it’s almost like they deeply changed and influence each other’s lives.

BONBON THE BIRTHDAY CLOWN (2x14)

I’m going to put this as a disclaimer at the beginning of this part so that I don’t have to explain later: during this episode Star clearly displays feelings and behaviors that can only be explained by having a crush on Marco and feeling an intense need to be with him. But the episode begins with Star cheering on Marco with Jackie, and is followed by several other episodes of Star being none the wiser about her feelings for it, and definitely not showing them. Why? How? Heart and Mind disagreeing; denial; being scared of change; blaming all her uneasiness from the night on having lost Glossaryck thus overwriting the other feelings until Just Friends; a combination of everything, you pick your poison.

This is a minor note, but both Star and Marco regret having forgotten about their already existing plan with the other for the prom, with Marco’s “Jackie High” lasting about half a second before he once again goes “Oh no Star, no hurt Star!”. It’s just a setup for the episode and doesn’t really play any role, but it’s a welcome breath of fresh air compared to the easy drama most shows from past decades would have immediately built up from this kind of situation.

Star is super happy to greet Jackie, right now her mind still hasn’t put 2 and 2 together, she still hasn't processed “If Marco is going to a promo with Jackie as her date, he can’t possibly be romantically involved with me”. It’s all still a very unconscious process now (she won’t properly think “I want to smooch him but I can’t” until Just Friends), but it’s a painfully clear case of “You don’t know what you truly wanted until you lose it”, as evidenced extremely clearly both visually and by the subtle as a hammer on your teeth song (this scene here, Just Friends, Lava Lake Beach, song get used as a way to highlight and give exposition to the characters’ feelings multiple times in the early days of Starco).

Darned if I knew That I'd find you In the last place I thought you would be What could I do 'Til I saw you waiting for me? Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh And if I catch your eye It feels like I could fly Out from my lonely world into yours

Following that, Star spends most of the episode feeling weird: she looks at the picture on her phone and feels bad and tries to find a reason for that, something to blame for the new feelings she’s experiencing.

For a moment, when she uses the All Seeing Eye spell, she might have understood, or at least made a direct connection between Marco being on a date with Jackie, and her feeling like that. But the epiphany escapes her grasp after an instant, due to her magic going awry, and after that Ludo’s rat immediately gets there and she has other things to worry about.

Going back to Marco’s side of things for a moment, a quick consideration about what’s clearly a Jarco moment, a moment of connection between the two of them: we get a character external to the Star-Marco dynamic acknowledging Marco’s tenacity and perseverance, a quality that early Star lacked (”looks like I’m just a skimmer”) and that’s going to become an important part of her later on (”I am a dipper”, never giving up with the Monsters and Eclipsa in S3 and S4). One of the most clear examples of how Marco’s good influence helped Star change for the better, and this is the first time he gets outright praised for it.

After the kiss Marco sees the Blood Moon, and he’s immediately reminded of Star and goes to check on his phone, noticing the missed calls and getting worried. Was this part of the curse? Was the Moon trying to hinder Jackie and Marco’s relationship? Absolutely fucking not, as Marco said the curse is bullshit and was never a thing. In the context of this specific episode it’s symbolic, nothing more: Star is always in Marco’s thoughts, we know it and no one can deny it, the Blood Moon was merely a visual way to remind him of her, and to tell us viewers that even while kissing his long time crush, Marco still keeps part of his being focused on Star. He could have seen a little girl playing with a magic wand or hear someone say “the stars are beautiful tonight!” and it would have had the same effect. There’s nothing magical here, and if there’s it’s not important; it’s not even a good thing for Star, since Marco and Jackie’s arrival at the graveyard is actually what makes Star lose control of her magic, losing the fight.

 Marco saving Star is a cool and sweet scene, and sets a clear parallel with Wand to Wand (and we even have confirmation from the storyboarder that it was on purpose, not that it wasn’t clear enough already) that neither of them would ever let the other go, but there’s not much to be said about it, their commitment to each other is pretty straightforward and it’s obviously to be expected in dangerous situations such as this.

Also, it’s not a full parallel: in this case the moment of danger doesn’t end with a hug, but with Marco going to check on Jackie (after having helped Star up obviously, he’s still and will always be worried about her after all).

And yet, despite this, by the end of the episode Star entirely blames her sadness on having lost the book and Glossaryck. She’s still clearly hurting over Jackie and Marco, but the situation at hand gives her an easy way out, an excuse to latch on to “cover” her feelings for her bestie with a thick layer of “no no it’s definitely just this” (wow just like in Curse of the Blood Moon!). And thus the epiphany that she almost had while spying on them is delayed until Just Friends.

Neither Star nor Marco are clearly aware about it obviously, but it’s hard not to see that “I’ve lost Glossaryck” line as “I’ve lost you” as well. Fun times.

To conclude, going back to something from the middle of the episode (didn’t want to digress earlier): this scene with Glossaryck asking Star if he can burn a page from the book and Star telling him to do whatever he wants is another side to the “you don’t know what you wanted until you lose it”: Star barely cares about the Book, symbol of her duties as a princess, but in a handful of minutes - and for future episodes - she’s going to be terribly hurting over having lost it. As I said multiple times the arcs of “Star learning to stop running away from her problems and accepting her responsibilities” and “Star recognizing and accepting her feelings for Marco” go hand in hand, and are both integral to her development and character arc. And, as we are going to see in the season finale, neither of them can truly reach its payoff without the other.

Bonus to make the whole episode a little less painful: while helping Star and Jackie up Marco might give Jackie more focus, but his tone of voice is way more kind and warm and delicate with Star, showing an incredible amount of care. Clearly this doesn’t entirely match Marco’s priorities in this moment, but it’s a welcome gift from Adam (and Daron I guess, since she’s always present during the recording sessions and certainly directed him to deliver the line in that specific way).

[phantomphangphucker]

ClockWork Say What? - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @latterdaysaintvampire Prompt: During a high-stakes chase, Danny’s parents’ newest invention has shorted out all his powers, except one - possession. Summary: ClockWork is really pushing the limits of what the Observants will tolerate

No warnings apply

Eyeballing the insanely massive corrupted ancient ghost, before turning back to face the ghost who’s become his mentor. “Huh, well ClockWork, looks like you’re the only friendly around. And I know this is probably the most absurd and dumb thing I’ve ever asked you but, mind if I over-shadow you for a time?”, Danny already knows the answer as soon as he sees ClockWorks slight smirk and the glint in his eyes. “Go ahead Daniel, I'm here because this will royally piss off the Observants”, Danny can’t help but chuckle even with the rampaging ghost in the background. “This shit is why you can actually handle my bullshit”, with a shrug and a goofy grin Danny hops inside of ClockWork.

Grinning even more because damn, ClockWork is strong but also surprisingly weaker than Danny himself. Patting himself/ClockWork down and eyeballing the ghostly tail that can’t stop being a tail. “Full-time tail seems like it would be annoying but I guess he’s rather used to it”, hearing the loud distorted roaring Danny snaps ClockWorks head to the side. Eyeing ClockWork staff he grins as he floats aggressively at the growling.

Watching the massive old ghost for a while before deciding to try out ClockWork’s time power’s, “time out” pushing on the top of the time staff. As everything just stops, Danny can’t help but curl up and laugh his ass off. “God, this is exactly as OP as I expected! Holy shit!”, Danny then blinks as his mind is bombarded by different futures and possibilities, rubbing his hand over his head and under the cloak hood. “Fuck man, wow it’s probably good I can’t do this myself”, he’s natural hero complex automatically seeking out whatever option is the least harmful for everyone else.

“You know what? Fuck it, I have a stick and I can beat you over the head with it! You will be pulverized by time!”, utilising teleportation to get up close and personal to the ancient ghosts face. Grinning like a loon, “time in”. Promptly full force smacking the ghost in the eye with the time staff and teleporting away, snickering as the ghost shrieks and grabs it’s eye. Though he gets a little startled by suddenly being a child, which almost results in him getting hit by an ectobeam. Doing a little backflip as he teleports to the other side before flying right at Its face. Just as he sees the ghost's hand coming to grab him, “time out”.

Danny floats lazily out of the way and laughs at the ghost who’s about to smack themselves in the face. “Time in”, smirking wildly as the ghost does indeed smack itself in the face and remembering his first encounter with the master of time. Danny reverses time and sets it in motion again, and again, and again. Making the ghost smack itself around five times. Danny can’t help but float to the ground laughing his ass off.

Sighing, he decides he really should deal with this. He can after all, see all the ways this ghost could destroy so much and at least two ways to fuck the time stream. “Your mind is a grade A cluster fuck ClockWork”, just as he's going to stop time again he spots Tucker and Sam running over. Muttering to himself, “I don’t think a wrist ray and thermos will do them much good this time”. Shaking his head he teleports straight in front of them, before they can get too close and get hurt; scaring the crap out of both of them.

“CLOCKWORK! HOLY SHIT!”

“Are you trying to give us heart attacks!?”, Tucker makes a show of putting his hand over his chest while Danny/ClockWork smirks. Sam looks between ClockWork and the giant ancient ghost a few times, “if you’re here this must be bad, where’s Danny?”. Grinning wide as he responds, “oh you could say he’s quite close, followed the corrupted ancient one and he’s been having quite a bit of fun in the meantime”. 

Tucker eyes ClockWork strangely, having become familiar with Danny’s punny nature but also knowing ClockWork’s trickster ways, “so what’s is he doing and how can we help?”. Sam nods holding up her wrist ray and a thermos while Danny responds as he changes into an old man, shaking his head, “no, this time you two will just have to wait out the clock”. Smirking as he floats back towards the battle, “just let old-time deal with the ancient timer”. Now even Sam’s looking at him funny as he teleports back to the fight, snickering to himself.

Smacking the ancient one with the staff because it’s funny to picture some super powerful being just hitting other super powerful things, with a stick, “I’m so going to clean your clock”. The ancient turns to roar at him so he levitates an insane amount of clocks straight into the guys mouth. “Pretty sure eating clocks is a pretty time-consuming endeavour!”, Danny laughs as he turns to a child. Calling a “time out”, for a perfect freeze frame on the ancient with his mouth stuffed with so many kinds of clocks.

Floating down to Tucker, Danny takes his phone, which has a way better camera than Sam’s. Floating back up to the ancient he takes a selfie and captions it “oh no I’m being vored”. Chuckling as he puts Tucker’s phone back.

Floating in front of the frozen ancient he flips through all the different scenarios to figure out how to defeat this guy, “how the hell does ClockWork ever make split-second choices? What does he just stop time and think through shit?”. Laughing to himself, “it’s not like anyone would even know! No wonder he can be so calm and logical! He literally has all of time to think out every action and every word!”. Rubbing ClockWorks neck, “my erratic off the cuff way of doing everything is his exact opposite”.

Crossing ClockWorks arms he elects for option 365, since it seems the most insane and is both absolutely something Phantom would do and will completely infuriate the Observants. It’s not like they can do shit about it, they won’t know if there was other options or if they’d even work. Smirking, Danny leaves this timeline frozen and opens a bunch of portals to different times, jacking all their long pointy clock towers and throwing time medallions on them. Snickering and grinning like a loon as he levitates them all around the ancient one, looking like giant clock tower needles. Nodding at the still frozen scene, “it’s time you got your shots”. Turning into a child as he floats intangibly inside the giant ghost and wraps the chains of pocket watches all around its core, lathered in the serum he just stole from his parents.

Getting another idea he floats out and changes all the hands on the clocks so that they’ll all gong at the exact time that they pierce the ghost and the serum kicks in. Knowing that combining the mass sound with all the time medallions falling off will yeet this guy straight into oblivion. With a smirk, “I’m about to make everyone’s eyeballs or eyeball, bleed”. Spinning the staff, “time in”.

Sam gapes at the scene, looking like something straight out of a clock based fever dream, that just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. While Tucker falls on his ass laughing, “holy shit! That has got to be Danny’s doing! How the?”. Tucker then curls up, hugging his stomach and laughing, “oh god! He’s! God! He’s over-shadowing! Over-shadowing ClockWork!”. Sam looks between the scene and Tucker as all the clock towers impale the massive ghost and a loud gong rings out.

The sound jerks Tucker’s head up as Danny/ClockWork slowly floats down towards them, hands behind ClockWorks head. While Sam and Tucker both gape now, as the massive ghost starts flashing a near seizure inducing mix of purple, blue, black and white. While all the clock towers start teleporting back to their times, taking chunks of the ghost with them.

Danny/ClockWork floats smirking next to Tucker, talking mostly to thin air at this point, “I hope you enjoyed your time on the Phantom Express though I recommend you don’t go back four seconds”.

Somewhere off in the ghostzone, a bunch of Observants rub at their eyes with a couple muttering, “that child should never have power over time”. Another shakes it’s head/eyeball, “and to think, he’s actually stronger than this”. The Observants shudder in unison as they watch Danny/ClockWork grin widely, obviously watching them as they watch him.

Tucker turns to Danny/ClockWork, “dude, just dude”. Danny just laughs as he decides he probably shouldn’t push ClockWorks fondness of him too much, so he hops out of him; with the fight, or job in ClockWorks case, finished.

Clockwork grins fondly at Danny while he lays on the ground laughing his ass off, Sam is a bit shell shocked because since when could he over-shadow ghosts? Especially one as strong as ClockWork? Sam facepalms as Tucker starts laughing with Danny, talking to ClockWork, “you let him do that didn’t you?”.

“Time teaches in strange ways Miss Manson”, with that ClockWork teleports away. Sam’s rather confused but for once Danny easily knows what he meant. Transforming back human he helps Tucker get up while talking to Sam, “I can over-shadow any ghost I’m stronger than, Sam”. Tucker gapes at him before slapping him in the shoulder, as both him and Sam get what that means.

“Dude, don’t the Observants or whatever, already think you’re too powerful to be allowed to exist?”, Danny shrugs. Finger-gunning at Tuck, “it’s not like they can do shit, I’ve literally got all of time in my corner”. Running a hand through his hair, “besides, I’m a force for good so they can’t really complain too much”.

Sam shakes her head, “so ClockWorks powers huh?”. Danny rubs his eyes a bit, “they are pretty sweet but that seeing everything thing is wild. No way I’d want that all the time”. Sam glares at Danny, “we’re going to have to deal with time puns for the rest of the week aren’t we?”. Danny grins wickedly, “well it was about time Tuck got a new screen saver”. 

Tucker instantly looks horrified, knowing full well Danny could have gotten up to all kinds of trouble while time was obviously frozen. Yanking out his phone, seeing nothing out of the norm he checks his photos. Wheezing he does indeed set it as his screen saver, “you are an affront to god!”.

Danny strikes a sexy pose, “more like an affront to time!”.

End.

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, woohoo!

(And also kind of a NaNo roundup post because that was last month, after all…)

NaNo:

Sooooo I didn’t finish, lol. Not that I was…super expecting to, exactly, but I was hopeful! I think I just missed too many days in a row and lost all my momentum.

In terms of my goals, I was hoping to write:

1. 20-25k on Precipice 2. 20-25k on our faces like a mirror 3. 10-20k on Other Projects. 4. 50-70k total

In terms of what I actually accomplished:

1. 9,241 on Precipice (Sooooooo....about half of what I’d hoped, a little less. But I still got a fair amount done/prepped for upcoming chapters, plus a couple chapters actually posted, even while doing other stuff, so...go me!) 2. 9,043 on our faces like a mirror (Again, a bit less than half of what I’d hoped for, but I got enough done for the story/etc. to take a real Shape in my head. ...ish. See the specific OFLAM stuff later on in the post...) 3. 10,601 on Other Projects (Hey, I actually met this goal! ...barely, but still! Mostly thanks to the Nikita/Rebels crossover, lol...) 4. 28,885 total

Original Fiction:

I got a decent chunk of a big backstory piece for Lux done (in the form of a “then” and “now” set of scenes/vignettes for the five Archangels)--that being said, I’m not sure I actually like what I have there, lol. I know more or less what I need to cover, but the details are fiddly. Also not sure whether I should refer to Lux by her current name, for consistency’s sake, or use a different name (either Lightbringer or just Lucifer) since she does technically reshape her name after being released when the main Apocalypse storyline kicks off…also debating whether Lux should be/present as female way back when--angels don’t really do gender the way humans do in this ‘verse, but the closest human term for Lux would be genderfluid, sooooo IDK. Also also, for the ‘Now’ part…ehhh, I’m not sure I should have this be the first thing I post involving Trixie…but I’ll keep poking at it and see what comes out.

(I’d also planned to work on the big Kesshare character study saturation for The Farglass Cycle this month, and maybe go back to my untitled first-contact story, but neither of those happened, lol.)

Precipice:

We’re in the home stretch! Kinda. So to speak. Probably three to four more chapters in Arc Seven, which I’m hoping-fingers-crossed I’ll finish by the end of the calendar year??? (But given how much other stuff I hope to work on (see Other Fanfic Projects for more details…)

At that point--and I know I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably put it in an A/N in the next chapter or so, but following the end of Milestones, I’m planning to break off into a second/sequel fic, working title Protectors. This is at least in part because length (over 200k wtf I was anticipating 50-75k, maybe 100k, for these seven arcs @.@), but also was sort of planned even without the Length issue, due to some thematic/structure shifts following a six-year timeskip. Which, if you do the math, you can probably figure out where that’ll land us and why I might be structuring it this way…

Anyway, I’ve increasingly realized that there’s some stuff I should probably set up that I’ll need for later arcs in Part 2 involving some Rebels characters, more with the Last Batch, plus a Sith Apprentice who needs to turn up and die (although the gap between Infernalis and the next apprentice I actually care about/have a name and some kind of Plot for is only about four years in my mental timeline, so maybe there isn’t an active Apprentice in that period*…hmmmmm…), some background about the Hands, etc. But I feel like it’s all a little too disjointed for an entire additional arc. So, Arc 7.5, tentatively titled Preludes, is also going to be a thing XD I don’t think I’ll have a fixed schedule for that vs. the main storyline--and, honestly, it’ll probably work more like a collection of one-shots taking place during the timeskip than a proper Arc, but a little more Relevant than stuff that goes in Bonus Content, if that makes sense? It’ll probably be posted alongside at least arcs 8 and 9. Which, incidentally, take place more or less back-to-back and cover a fairly short period of time, but there is A Lot of plot/setup that goes into them. Like. If I tried to do it all as one arc, it’d be at least twice as long as any of the other arcs I’ve done, possibly including Arc Four--certainly over twenty chapters, I think--plus there’s a good (and by good I mean Horrible) place where I can split the arcs, so…we’ll see how that goes.

(…still not sure what to do with Maul, lol. He may just be Sir Darth Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic, or he might turn up in arc 10/11/13, which are the sort of vaguest of the next seven arcs which make up Protectors, in terms of how much I have planned out…)

(*On a semi-related note, I’ve been asked about Inquisitors a couple times in comments lately, and…well, I’ll probably mention this when I reply to the commenter in question, but I figured I’d set it out here as well, in case anyone else was wondering the same thing but doesn’t read other peoples’ comments. Like I’m pretty sure I mentioned at the start, when I plotted out** the bulk of this fic, I hadn’t seen Rebels yet. I’ve since decided to integrate a few characters/plot points (Kallus and Zeb will feature prominently in a subplot in arcs 13 and 14, for example), but, as a rule, characters and plot points from Rebels haven’t been taken into account unless I Really Like Them and/or they’re a good way to fill in a plot hole in a later arc, as with Kallus and Zeb. So, for example, when I include Thrawn, I’m writing more towards Legends!Thrawn in terms of personality, though the two have blended a bit in my head and I do reference specific events in Disney!Thrawn’s personal timeline; and b) more relevantly, I hadn’t made any plans to include Inquisitors, and that…hasn’t really changed. So, I might have them in Preludes, but they almost certainly won’t show up on-page/be super-relevant in the main arcs of the fic, sorry :/ )

(**Loooool I say “Plotted Out” like I’m the kind of author with a Master Plan or at least an outline. But I did have a general idea of the Major Plot Points going in, such as when Rex and Ahsoka would turn up, Luke’s storyline with Lavinia, how many Apprentices I would need to make them work, etc., and I’ve had parts of Arcs 8, 9, and 14 written for like at least two years now, so I know more or less where I’m going--though they’ll be edited once I have more of the connective tissue in place, in case I’ve accidentally Jossed myself…or I change my mind, which is becoming A Possibility with a major event set to happen in Arc 14, so…we’ll see.)

Aaaaaanyway. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

Other Fanfic:

This month, I finally posted another AU outline, woohoo! …I mean, it was a super-niche Nikita/Rebels crossover with a handful of OCs thrown in but who’s counting XD (I do actually intend to finish Let’s Go Steal a Crossover and update the Ventress one at some point but…yeah).

I also put out a Kallus one-shot that I think turned out really well. May do more of those at some point, who knows…

I made some significant progress on our faces like a mirror, as mentioned above! But now I’m waffling a little bit over structure. Basically, the fic covers Bo-Katan’s backstory from the time Satine becomes Duchess, through the Civil War, and eventually leads to Bo’s eventual break with her sister to join Death Watch. It comes in two pretty distinct halves--what I call the Fugitive arc in my notes, which covers the Civil War, and the Breakdown arc, which is everything after her return to Sundari.

So, my original plan was--prologue covering at least part of the final Epic Screaming Match that leads to Bo’s departure; jump back to the Fugitive Arc; and then follow through until we catch up to the prologue, with a coda/epilogue with her and Pre Viszla. The problem is, there’s…really not a lot to connect the two halves??

I’ve got a couple options on what to do about this, but I’m not sure which would be best.

Option One: Keep the structure as-is and just let it be episodic.

Option Two: Keep the structure as-is and find some way to connect the two halves (i.e., a recurring antagonist; I do have an idea of who this could be, but the problem is, it takes away a good chunk of the focus from Bo and Satine’s relationship for the Breakdown Arc…which I don’t really want to do.)

Option Three: Remove the framing device and focus on the Breakdown Arc, and include the Fugitive Arc as flashbacks, since the Breakdown Arc can’t really stand on its own. (The main issue I have with this one is that, if I want to actually write out future chunks of Bo’s life later--meaning, her time with Death Watch, and getting her from TCW to Rebels--I won’t have these flashbacks and I don’t want to change the structure too radically for any eventual sequels? Also, I’m not sure how I feel about a flashback structure for this fic in general…)

Option Four: Remove the framing device and focus on the Fugitive Arc, ending the story with Bo’s return to Sundari. (Two issues with this one--I really do want to go into the Breakdown Arc; that’s where my interest in this story started. Also, due to the constraints of setting and so on, Bo interacts with…like…two canon characters over the course of the Fugitive Arc? And while I don’t really have a problem writing a story that’s essentially a Backstory Epic for a tertiary character, populated by about 90% OCs, I’m not sure anyone actually wants to read that, except as the lead-in to the Breakdown Arc??? But maybe I’m overthinking…)

…so, yeah. Any thoughts/opinions on which option would be Best? (I may make a separate post asking the same question later, but figured I’d lay it all out here, too!)

Also, I’m working on a Secret Santa project, and probably not going to use OFLAM for SWBB, which means I need to come up with and write a different plotline of some kind, so back to the drawing board on that one…

Also also, I do genuinely plan to get Distaff off hiatus At Some Point, especially since I’ve gotten some new comments/responses lately…but given how much else I have on my plate, writing-wise, that probably won’t happen until next year, alas.

Anyway, the long and short of it is--lots of writing planned for this month! Now let’s see how much I actually get done XD

What about the rest of you? What’ve y’all been up to/what do you have planned for next month?

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 6 “Our Way” (The Finale!)

We made it, folks. Volume 6 is finally over and my god what a disappointment it turned out to be. 

I’ve danced my whole life and I had an instructor once who gave a lecture on choreography, cautioning us that the order you put your pieces in is just as important as the pieces themselves. Though each comes together to create a whole, your audience is more likely to remember the first and the last piece—so make those two count. Volume 6 began strong with the relic and the lore, and then ended on a flat, uninspiring, illogical note. Sadly I know what part of the performance I’ll be remembering from here on out.

However, first let’s tackle what we didn’t get this episode. There was no flashback to Oscar at Argus, re-characterizing his outing as something significant that might actually impact his growth as a character. Rooster Teeth really just… did that. They gave us an exact repeat of episode four, had Jaune physically assault Oscar, no one stepped in, no one bothered to check if Oscar was okay, we set him up staring morosely at the door, a two week cliffhanger, and then we really got an episode all about Jaune’s emotions while Oscar bought new clothes and made these people a casserole. He immediately accepted an incomplete apology, went so far as to speak like he thinks he’s going to die… and the group just smiled at him. Because remember, right now they only care about outsiders—which Oscar still very much is—when they’re helping and not getting in the way. Which Oscar has now promised to do. The finale gives us a brief moment where Ruby tries to praise Oscar for his efforts and it just rang as incredibly hollow to me. It’s easy to be kind to people when everything is going your way. You show your true colors when things get tough. RWBYJNR has repeatedly demonstrated this volume that when push comes to shove they’re willing to throw Oscar (and Ozpin) under the bus.

I’d need an entire, separate recap to detail exactly how horrible their treatment of him has been and how worrying it is that the story continues to frame this behavior as not just acceptable, but the actions of heroes. Suffice to say, if you have friends who seem nice on the daily but use you as a punching bag whenever they need an outlet? Do me a favor and get far, far away from them.

In the interests of moving on, another thing we didn’t get was any mention of Raven. A few friends theorized that last volume’s end credits scene (where Tai spots Raven using his portal) might finally come into play, but no such luck. More importantly to my mind, Yang still hasn’t said anything about Raven being the Spring Maiden, so that continues to be a secret she keeps while heaping more judgement on Ozpin. We’ll get to that later.

We didn’t see that true reconciliation teased in the last shot of the opening. Ruby never fought grimm with arms like those, let alone in a sewer tunnel… even though one was right there at the farm. I’m honestly starting to believe what others are saying about whole episodes being cut to make time for GenLock. Something happened this volume because the writing took one hell of a nosedive. It’s not just that I don’t agree with the messages the show is expressing, it’s that we have dangling threads, confusing “twists,” and what honestly feels like half-assed storytelling. Like they knew they had to complete the volume but just weren’t feeling motivated, so they chucked together something shoddy and left it at that.

(We also didn’t get to hear what Ruby bought them all at the gift shop. I realize this is a comparatively tiny thing, but to my mind it was a missed opportunity. They could have bookended the premiere and the finale, revealed that tiny mystery, told us something about Ruby based on the gifts she chose—the fandom keeps complaining that she’s one-dimensional—and if she’d picked up something for Ozpin at the time, that would have been an easy moment to have the group start reflecting on their behavior, a reminder that just a few days ago he was an important member of their team. Obviously I doubt the gifts survived the train crash, but there’s no reason why Ruby couldn’t tell them about it; a quiet moment before they reach Atlas. Like the shorter season length though, this episode was short for a finale. We were barely given enough time for the plot, let alone any reflection.)

For now though, let’s dive into the actual episode. We open on a field where an airship lands, Neo transforming as she steps out. That really is a powerful semblance. She can create copies of herself, disguise herself, and (as we’ll see in just a moment), disguise a whole freaking airship too. Granted, that last one seems to take some effort, but as this finale will inform us later, it doesn’t really matter how tired you are. If the plot needs you to do a thing with your semblance, you’ll manage it. Somehow. 

Cinder arrives in a new outfit as well and, like Neo’s, it’s pretty damn skimpy? I haven’t bothered to bring this up before because on the whole RT writes it’s mostly female cast very well, but considering how many other criticisms I’ve got today, why not chuck out one more. Meaning, why do these designs continually have to promote sexiness over practicality? Weiss, Nora, and Ruby all fight in skirts—hastily justified as “combat skirts”—and at least half the women on this show fight in heels. Yang sports short-shorts. Both she and Blake have bare midriffs. Now Neo is in a top that looks like it’s held up by a prayer and Cinder is sporting lingerie-like knee highs. There’s just no reason to design characters like this, especially when a good chunk of your cast is made up of teens. Cinder says herself that Neo will soon need snow boots. Just dress her appropriately for the weather from the start. You know, like how we didn’t get with Team RWBY while traveling through a kingdom filled with snow. Apparently Weiss wearing a scarf is enough to combat hypothermia for the whole team.

And yes, I realize costume changes require new models to be made, but that’s precisely why you should design your fighters as fighters from the start. You’re battling giant monsters? No one would wear heels. Or skirts. Or expose their midriff. It seems pretty convenient that aura supposedly protects them, eliminating the need for armor, and yet now it’s only our most masculine character—Jaune—who still bothers to wear it. Neo and Cinder are just the most recent examples of, “Why the hell would you wear that to a fight?”

Well, maybe these two will freeze to death before they ever reach the group… They’re heading to Solitas too and though they didn’t do anything in this scene besides reveal new and impractical clothing, I was more interested in their brief discussion than I was in the entirety of RWBYJNR’s fight. At least I’m comfortable in how I feel about Neo and Cinder. They’re bad guys. They’re gonna do bad things that the story frames as bad. They’re usually fun to watch. I don’t get frustrated and confused whenever they come on screen nowadays.

Cinder says, “Someone once asked me if I believe in destiny…and I’m happy to say I still do” as we get a final shot of them planning their nefarious deeds. We’re getting a lot of references to Pyrrha this volume—this, the statue, Ruby’s memories later—and taken on its own that’s fantastic. In a season though where Pyrrha’s death is subtly ‘justifying’ the group’s awful behavior and acting as a reminder to the fandom for why they unjustly hate Ozpin? Ehh…

We close on the villains and open on our “heroes” with rousing music to signal the upcoming battle, which… isn’t really a battle at all. The Leviathan is steadily approaching Argus and the Atlas personnel are calling for Cordovin. She’s still stuck, yelling about how “This is your fault!”

And it is. However, once again Cordovin’s exaggerated attitude makes it easy to ignore the fact that she’s right. She’s racist! She’s arrogant! She’s screaming and sounds like a child! Clearly our group is the mature ones here. Look at how calmly Ruby faces her down in contrast… It reminds me of how people (particularly women) are told that they’re being “Too emotional” in this conversation and therefore all the points they’ve made are somehow invalid. Of course Cordovin is emotional. A group of kids just lied to her, stole from her, started a battle against her, and destroyed her mech right when her city is about to be overrun by grimm. I’d be screaming in frustration too.

Though of course, most don’t view it that way. I agree with what others have pointed out, that if we’d been given a calmer authority figure saying the exact same things—No you can’t go into Atlas. Why would I let anyone other than Weiss cross a closed border?—it would have been easier to see exactly how horrible the group’s actions are here. As it is, Cordovin’s personality acts as a distraction. One more way to present the group as heroic when they’re anything but.  

Yang and Blake arrive on the scene, wanting to know what the hell is going on. Yang asks, “Is that a giant grimm?” and Weiss responds, “Yes…and we just ruined the only thing capable of stopping it.”

That’s an admission of facts, not necessarily an admission of guilt. The group acknowledges that they ruined the one defense capable of taking out a grimm of that size, but as we’ll see, there’s no regret attached to doing that in the first place. It’s just summarizing the situation for Blake and Yang.  

Granted, we get a moment where Ruby looks worried/potentially sad as they fly away from Cordovin, but what does that mean here? Is she sad about what she’s done? Or just worried about this new situation? Their actions have been so extreme that the story can’t afford to be vague about the characters’ emotions here. Plenty of people will (and are free) to read this moment as Ruby experiencing fierce regret at her choices the last few hours… but it’s just as easy to attribute her expressions to fear about the coming battle. I’m not inclined to give these characters the benefit of the doubt here. They haven’t earned it.

Regardless, we cut to the airship where apparently Yang and Blake have already told everyone about Adam. That was not the sort of thing that should have happened off screen. By all means, be practical. There’s no time for a long-winded conversation with the Leviathan bearing down on Argus, so have Yang announce that they’re okay, yes something happened, we’ll explain things later. Now you’ve established that this very important information will be conveyed either on the airship later, or at the beginning of volume 7.

What a waste. This is the end of a villain we’ve had since the Black Trailer—the first time our protagonists have killed a fellow human being—and that admission is regulated to the 30 seconds it takes to fly from Cordovin to the middle of the fight. Ruby hugs Blake and tells her she’s safe, but that’s it. That’s currently the extent of the team’s reaction to this huge revelation and like JNR learning about Salem, the audience has no idea what sort of details they received. Do they just know Adam died in the fight or that they deliberately killed him? Did Weiss hear about the brand? We don’t know. Hopefully this conversation is given more weight in volume 7, but given what else we’ve seen lately, I’m not counting on it.

Maria then interrupts with one of the most jaw-dropping lines of the episode: “I suppose I have to be the bad guy and say it, but getting the lamp to Atlas is still our top priority.”

Are we for real right now? Where was this calm, level-headed, pragmatic Maria when she was pissing off Cordovin with cashews? Or cheering at Ruby rejecting all adults? Now she starts trying to think rationally? But of course, when she does stop her manic cackling it’s to suggest something horrific. Yes, Maria. It does make you a bad guy to want to abandon a city to the grimm you brought here. She realizes that everyone is dead if they leave, right? That without the mech or silver eyes Argus has no decent way of stopping that Leviathan? Maria is meant to be the Grimm Reaper, the greatest huntress of her generation, and the writers think it’s appropriate to not only have her encouraging a bunch of kids to recklessly commit treason, but then condemn a whole city to probable death for their mistakes?

No, the relic is not the top priority. The relic is a side mission. The top priority has always and will always be protecting humanity. At least Yang, Blake, and Weiss realize this. They say firmly that they’re not leaving and Ruby gives a little shrug like, ‘Guess we’re not leaving then.’

(They really like having Ruby treat her mistakes as jokes, don’t they?)

So Ruby announces she has an idea, the one the whole fandom saw coming a mile away, and the next second Qrow says, “Eyes up, everybody” because they’ve reached the Leviathan. Ha. Get it? Eyes up?

Okay. I’m done lol.

We get shots of the terrified Argus population, including Terra and Saphron. 

Ruby asks Ren and Jaune to mask the ship which, reminder, they shouldn’t be able to do. Ren maybe, but Jaune just used all his aura to protect himself and Nora from getting splattered by Cordovin’s arm. Then he was thrown into a boulder for good measure. Last episode he couldn’t even stand without hanging off of his teammates. Now we get exactly what I was afraid we would: the plot needs someone to Do A Thing so aura burnout is conveniently forgotten. Jaune gives a confident smile. Of course he can boost Ren’s semblance and cover an entire airship!

Keep in mind that we just saw Neo dropping in exhaustion after a second of using her semblance on a whole ship. Granted, her ship is bigger, but she’s also presumably at full strength right now. If we were bothering to follow the rules established by this world, I highly doubt Jaune would have been able to pull this off.

Meanwhile the Leviathan has easily taken out Argus’s first barrier. “It tore straight through…” Oscar whispers, reminding me that he hasn’t had many encounters with grimm. If I remember correctly he mentioned to Ruby that there was an occasional one on the farm (as expected), but they must have been pretty weak if an untrained kid can take them out with farm equipment. Oscar then goes straight to Haven, battles people at the Academy, gets on that train where he fought some manticores, but then he didn’t get to see the Apathy for himself. This seems to be one of the first times Oscar is seeing grimm at all, let alone one this deadly. No wonder he sounds shocked.

With the shield destroyed in an instant the Atlas personnel start giving the order to evacuate… when Ruby interrupts them. No worries, fine people. I have a plan! Wait, why should we trust you? “I’m a huntress.”

No you’re not, Ruby. Literally and symbolically, you are not currently a huntress. Ignoring for a moment all the stunts you just pulled, undermining everything a huntress is meant to uphold, that is a formal position. It’s a title that embodies great power in this world and you achieve that title by studying four years and graduating from an academy. You don’t get to call yourself a college graduate because you did one year and then studied on your own. Same with being a doctor, or a lawyer, or literally any titled position. Ruby (in continuing with the theme of this volume) is lying to that Atlesian soldier. She’s misrepresenting herself, claiming she’s something other than what she actually is: a half-trained teen with a current chip on her shoulder.

This is also another moment where she ignores Qrow when he yells for her to stop. The issue isn’t about who’s right here—whether Ruby should tell the others about her plan or not—but that Ruby is consistently ignoring everyone around her to charge forward with whatever plan she personally thinks is best. Qrow told her not to attack the Atlas military… look what happened. Qrow told her not to go stare down Cordovin’s missiles and try to make an impossible shot… look what happened. Qrow told her not to stubbornly stand her ground against a mech when the rest of her team is beaten and exhausted, and though Ruby survives, it’s only by the will of Plot Armor. She leapt into a freaking cannon. She knocked herself out. You’d think after all this Ruby would at least pause a moment to give Qrow the time of day.

It ultimately doesn’t matter though because their ship is still flagged as hostile. Atlas isn’t going to help them on what clearly looks like a suicide mission. We get a close up of Ruby daring to do what no one else can or will. “Fine… we’ll do it alone if we have to.”

…which is precisely the problem. Atlas backing off might feel like a consequence—Oh no! Their actions lost them their backup!—but all it does is get the extras out of the way (who just happen to be adults) so we can more easily focus on the protagonists (who just happen to be teens). It’s a reward. They don’t actually need the airships here, as the group is about to demonstrate, so this ‘consequence’ is absolutely meaningless. It would be something entirely different if, say, the story actually framed the soldiers as necessary to distract the Leviathan and Ruby had to admit her faults, begging them to help despite her mistakes; if the story made it clear that teamwork was a necessity. But there’s nothing like that. This is meant to read as the hero’s crowning moment.

Also, as an aside, why in the world would Ruby tell them to wait on the rest of their evacuation? What if—a wild thought here—something went wrong? Like literally every plan you’ve ever come up with? Isn’t it better to get people to safety while you try out your idea, just in case it all falls to pieces? This is just one more moment of Ruby’s overconfidence putting others at risk. She’s endangered her team, herself, and an entire city this volume… and has learned precisely nothing from it.

But we’ll come to that. Right now Ren masks the airship’s approach, conveniently keeping it up just long enough for them to reach the Leviathan, and then he’s out. They still didn’t make it in time though. The Leviathan sends out another stream of fire that takes out the second shield and hits the top of a tower in Argus. Needing to get closer, Yang and Nora distract the Leviathan while Ruby rides in on one of Weiss’ summoned lancers. I did appreciate Blake briefly supporting Weiss as she works to keep her semblance up. Whatever else, this volume has been good about brief, non-partner interactions. 

We hear Ruby encouraging herself as she flies in and then she chucks her communicator into the water to concentrate. I thought something would come of that? Why bother having Yang interrupt her if there wasn’t a serious issue (it takes another long moment for the Leviathan to turn on Ruby) and why full on get rid of the communicator if that choice wasn’t going to come into play later? Eh, whatever. Far from the first time we’ve had setups that go absolutely nowhere. This volume is full of them.

So Ruby does as Maria taught her: cycling through memories of her family and friends, trying to drum up that fierce desire to protect them. 

I did appreciate that Oscar, Qrow, and Maria get brief appearances… but again, the one team member who isn’t shown is Ozpin. Apparently Ruby now hates him to the point where he’s not even a part of her very generalized thoughts about who she wants to protect. I mean she met Maria three days ago and the woman now means more to her, apparently.

(For the record, I say this because Ruby knew Ozpin primarily in his headmaster form and is drawing largely from volume 1-3 material. We might have seen him in the new engine, easily. The shot of Oscar we’re given is also the one from the training room where Ozpin didn’t speak until Ruby left. Alongside Ozpin’s absence this volume, that’s the closest we’ve ever seen Oscar as only Oscar. That choice says a lot in my opinion.)

Eventually Ruby’s memories start to segue into darker thoughts and… okay. I’m confused now. Why is thinking about bad memories the thing that doesn’t let the silver eyes work? Not only were those moments where fierce protection would be at its strongest, but Ruby has only ever been in horrible situations when her eyes went off: Watching Pyrrha die, watching Jaune about to be killed, watching Blake about to kick it via Apathy. You’re telling me that during those times Ruby somehow thought about bright and happy things, not the horror of the fact that her friends were in the process of being murdered? If anything, those flashes of Yang without her arm or Penny cut into pieces should be the very thing that does set her eyes off.

Instead they fail. Ruby opens her eyes to find the Leviathan turning her way and then, as a friend of mine pointed out, she gasps out a “What?” and looks down at the relic.

No. That relic has very conveniently done nothing the entire time the group was trekking through the woods, staying at an abandoned farm, driving who knows how far, and running around a new city. You’re not going to tell me now that suddenly it’s the cause of the Leviathan turning away from people currently attacking it. Either the relic’s draw is strong enough that Oscar should have been in trouble on the train, or it’s not strong enough to act as a justification here. The relic is the new Qrow’s semblance: turning off and on when the story wills it.

In a panic Ruby yells for Jinn, which is less the “clever” choice Jinn says it is and more a potentially clever gamble. The last time they used Jinn every creature in her vicinity remained active. Granted, all those creatures were human or faunus then, but Ruby wouldn’t know if she would freeze the grimm as well. Regardless, her gamble pays off (because of course it does) and we get another example of how the protagonists are currently super special people who can never do any wrong.

Jinn: “You do not seek knowledge, but just this once I will give it freely…I will not allow you to use me without a question again.”

Why? That’s the question you have to ask for all your characters’ decision. Why are they doing this? What’s their motivation? Jinn provides none. She has no reason to let Ruby off the hook for summoning her without a question, especially since she frames that as another bad choice that she’ll (somehow?) punish Ruby for if she does it again. But this time, once again, our protagonist is let off the hook, purely because she’s the protagonist.

With this very generous second chance Ruby re-shuts her eyes, thinks only of the good times, including a memory of Summer Rose. The fandom has been waiting a long time to see her outside of a covered photograph.  

Ruby manages to activate her silver eyes. It works—mostly.

I mentioned previously how the show needs to introduce some downside to the silver eyes so that Ruby isn’t suddenly over powered against every grimm from here on out. This is a downside… but an odd one. The grimm turned to stone, but not all the way? Sort of just a stone encasing that it partly manages to break out of? Okay. I mean that works, but it’s a pretty easy downside to overcome. The grimm is still stopped in its tracks, giving the others plenty of time to take it out.

And, as always, pay attention to how it’s all framed. Despite not working exactly as she intended, this is meant to be a moment of victory for Ruby. She’s succeeded in her trial by fire. She’s single-handedly saved all of Argus. The music is rising, the people are cheering, people who have no idea what silver eyes are and will now start up legends about this girl. Who was the huntress with the magic-like power none of us understand? Ruby Rose. The girl who stood toe-to-toe against a Leviathan grimm and won.

This would indeed be a wonderful moment if it weren’t Ruby’s fault the grimm was there in the first place. Like her own claims of “I’m a huntress,” this moment misrepresents Ruby to the people. No one is going to learn that she’s the one who endangered them, only that she’s the one who came to the rescue. She’s fixing her own mistake and then allowing that to stand as a heroic act.

I was so looking forward to Ruby learning to wield her silver eyes. Not like this though.

Cordovin arrives with her pinned arm gone, ready to finish taking out the Leviathan, and she’s suddenly stupidly cheerful about it. Again, characters need motivations. If their outlook on a situation changes we need to see why that happened, especially when moving from such extremes. In a matter of minutes Cordovin went from shrieking at the group to not just sunnily helping them—which is a practical consideration. As she herself says, “I was sworn to protect the people”—but also letting them go.

….there is no reason to let them go. None. It goes against Cordovin’s entire characterization, the logic of the situation, and nothing has happened in the last few minutes to change her mind. This is the story at its laziest: “We don’t have a reason for Cordovin to let them go. She’s just gonna. Because they’re heroes.”

During this conversation we get an “I’m sorry” from Ruby and that’s admittedly something, but like Weiss’ comment about destroying the mech or Ruby’s worried looks, what is she apologizing for? Because she doesn’t seem very contrite right now. The framing isn’t telling us Ruby has anything to be ashamed of. She’s the star in this moment. So that ‘I’m sorry’ feels less like an admission of wrong doing and more, ‘I’m sorry I had to attack you and that it almost got everyone killed. But I absolutely had to. No doubt. So I guess I’m only sorry that fate screwed us over. It’s not like I had a hand in this mess or anything.’

All of which is to say: there are no consequences. None. Zip. Nada. No one in Argus died (despite the fact that all those flying grimm apparently bypassed the mass of terrified people to go battle with the airships on the opposite side of the Leviathan??), no one was arrested, no Ironwood or Winter, no Ozpin coming to their rescue, no problems with aura, the mech still manages to fight, the airship still manages to fly, no one was even reprimanded for their behavior. This volume we have seen the group betray a man they were demanding trust from, steal a secret they knew nothing about, force him to relive thousands of years of trauma while taking in the personal history that was never theirs to see, verbally and physically assault him to the point where he has to remove himself from their presence, they repeat that on an innocent kid days later, do absolutely nothing to make up for that, show no remorse for their actions, steal military property, plotted to mess with one of the few remaining relay towers the whole world depends on, beat up Atlas personnel, chucked them out of a plane, started and continued a fight with a special operative that endangered an entire city of people, destroyed a city’s primary defense, risked straining kingdom relations, nearly got friends killed with these foolish stunts ….and nothing. Not a single consequence, punishment, or reprimand. RT set up a situation where the group makes horrific mistakes and then had them learn nothing from them. Far from it. They’re rewarded, telling the audience that provided you have power—be it physical strength, access to resources, or the knowledge of a super secret mission—you can do whatever you want. There is no single stupid, illegal, dangerous, or callous thing you can do that isn’t ‘justified’ with, “Well I literally could do it, so I guess that means I’m allowed to do it, right?” Our title, “Our Way,” definitely embodies the morals we’re given this season.

I’m honestly disgusted with this volume. Just as a piece of media. This isn’t a story where we’re following anti-heroes and are well aware that they’re committing horrible deeds. This is a story about traditional heroes who are now using anti-hero means, something the story has just straight up ignored. I really didn’t think RT would take things this far… but here we are. This is apparently our group now and I personally think they’re awful.

And ugh, there’s still more of this episode. We cut to the group flying that night and Maria comments that “We should have just enough fuel to make it.” Wow you… literally didn’t think anything through, huh? No one even bothered to find out if they’d have enough fuel to not crash land in the ocean halfway there. Wonderful. 

We get another entirely illogical conversation between Qrow and Ruby. He tells her she, “Did good out there today, kid” despite the fact that Qrow was consistently (and correctly) trying to get her to not do the things she was doing. Is it too much to ask for Qrow to have a firm and honest conversation about her making reckless decisions instead of more unearned platitudes? And then Qrow lowers his bottle which… what? Alcoholism doesn’t work like that. Much more importantly, no one has tackled his drinking this season. Or the reasons he was drinking in the first place. Literally, Qrow’s semblance, his place in the war, Ozpin’s secret, none of it has been addressed. He has no reason to suddenly put aside his flask like he’s actually learned something. Does RT think we’re going to just imagine scenes that never actually happened?

(I mean, that’s what fic is for, but that’s… fic. The canon should at least be attempting to hit a higher bar. This is their job, not an unpaid hobby done late at night when you’re exhausted after your own full day of work.)

Qrow and Maria also have a conversation about how he was there to “Catch them when they fell. Literally, if I recall,” implying, again, something that didn’t happen. Yes, Qrow literally caught Ruby when she fell from the cannon, but that line is meant primarily in the metaphorical sense: You were there to support them, keep them from doing something stupid, steering them back to the right path, etc. That’s what Qrow tried to do, but Ruby consistently ignored him.

This is all such a mess. Though we do get some nice shots of Blake and Yang sitting together—lots of hand-holding now—and Weiss comments that she’s glad Yang was there for Blake. Yang corrects that they were there for each other, confirming the lesson they learned off screen at some point. 

A conversation starts up once again painting Ruby’s recklessness as awesome heroics. Among her clique she’s all bashful now, no more arrogance when there aren’t outsiders to push back against, and Ruby tries to foster attention off on Oscar. He corrects them about landing the airship… he didn’t actually do that himself.

Oscar: “I didn’t land the ship on my own.”

We get a flashback to him panicking as the ship crashes, but this time we hear Ozpin saying, “Stay calm. It’s going to be okay.” Back in the present Nora immediately freaks out, “He took control?!” and Oscar corrects her with no, he helped guide me.

Let’s unpack this a bit. First of all Ozpin would have been 100% justified in taking control, just like he was justified in taking control at Haven when Oscar was going to get them killed by stubbornly insisting that he fight Hazel. Like everything else in this volume, each situation has its own context. Just saying, “Ozpin took control of Oscar without permission” sounds bad, until you bother to acknowledge that dying is kinda worse. It’s like if I see a 14yo boy running towards a road an I yank him backwards. Technically I just took away his agency—I haven’t allowed him to keep running forward when he wanted to—but I did it so he wouldn’t get hit by that car. If Ozpin had taken control to keep three team members, including everyone’s precious leader, from dying a horrible death via airship crash… that’s a good thing.

But he didn’t. Even now, even after everything, Ozpin is so careful to give people as much choice as he can. He assessed the situation and decided that he could guide Oscar without taking away the use of his body, the sort of consideration most people wouldn’t even bother with during a time of crisis. And think about those lines. “Stay calm. It’s going to be okay.” The last time Oscar spoke to Ozpin he was forcefully stealing the means to allow the rest of the group to betray him. Now here Ozpin is, not angry, just endlessly reassuring. 

Then he leaves again. Everyone realizes Ozpin is still doing his best to give everyone what they supposedly want, right? I mentioned ages back that the group wants a contradiction, to have Ozpin fix their problems without having to deal with Ozpin as a person, and now he’s managed that. He comes in, saves their lives, then leaves so no one has to deal with the apparent horror of speaking to him. His level of selflessness is off the charts and it astounds me that anyone thinks this man is a cruel, manipulative puppet master.

…and then there’s Yang.

Yang: “Does that mean he’s been watching us this whole time?!”

Oh yeah. I don’t like Yang much nowadays. I forgot because the last couple of episodes the show isolated Yang with Blake. She’s good with Blake because she actually likes Blake and is probably in love with her. But put Yang with someone who isn’t willing to enable her misplaced anger (Maria, Ozpin) and suddenly she’s not a very kind person anymore. Like the rest of the group right now, Yang’s basic, human empathy doesn’t extend beyond the confines of their team.

Plus, what does that accusation even mean? She makes him sound like some sort of peeping tom and not the leader she was following three days ago. Yang realizes, right, that Ozpin isn’t allowed a body of his own? That he’s connected to Oscar? That anything Oscar sees Ozpin automatically sees too? There were admittedly questions about whether Ozpin was connected to the outside world while locked that deep in Oscar’s head, but Yang makes it sound like he physically left and then started stalking the group without their permission. She makes him sound like Adam.

I really can’t with this group right now. Man arrives to save the lives of the people who betrayed/assaulted him and their reaction is basically, “How dare you even look at us?” The worst part is, you know a huge chunk of the fandom is going to agree. No matter what Ozpin does, even literally saving our title character’s life, it’s somehow twisted into an act of manipulative cruelty.

Also gotta love that Qrow is sitting right there and apparently doesn’t care about this conversation. He only interrupts with a smile to tell them they’re in Atlas.

Which is, admittedly, gorgeous as hell. I do like these shots a great deal.

The only thing that ruins the view is the fleet of airships above, stationed like they’re expecting a battle. This seems to connect to the army we see Salem building in the post credits scene… but how in the world does Atlas know about something like that? Did Ironwood hear something and come up with an excuse to scramble the fighters? Or are they prepping for something else entirely? An attack from another kingdom?

Regardless, we end on one of the personnel telling the group, “Welcome home.”

After the credits we see Emerald and Mercury utterly horrified by something below. We pan down to see Salem creating grimm from the pool… and then making them grow wings. My first thought was, “That guerrilla is going to need a much bigger wingspan to accommodate his weight.” My second thought was, “Oh. Flying monkeys.” That should tell you something about what my brain considers a priority.

Hazel comes in and reminds Mercury and Emerald of an old saying: “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” That’s admittedly unexpected. Looks like after hearing that Ozpin reincarnated and ruined her plans for the Spring relic, Salem has decided to get her own hands dirty for once. I hope we get to hear more explanations for this because she’s apparently kept to the sidelines for generations and now, pretty randomly, decides to announce her presence to the world by leading an army? Who knows. It wouldn’t make less sense than anything else RWBY has given us lately.

And that’s it! We’re done! Hallelujah I need a break. Well, pseudo-break. I still intend to upload my other recaps to tumblr, dive back into our older episodes, and there are still asks to answer. So meta-ing is far from over, but it’ll be less intense than 4000+ words every Saturday lol.  

Thank you all so much for reading. I’d sill be writing these with an audience of one (me), but it’s way better when there are others as well. So kudos to you all—and happy hiatus!

Other Details of Note

Neo is fully wearing Roman’s hat now and Cinder canonically wears Louboutin heels lol.

A bit of an odd note, but Cordovin’s repetitive screams about “This is your fault” almost sound painful. Like she’s physically in pain. Obviously that’s not the case in any literal manner, but there’s something horrible about watching the group destroy a part of the mechanical body she’s currently inhabiting and then just abandoning her, watching as she tires and fails to move. I really can’t emphasize enough how callous this group has become to anyone not in Team RWBY or JNR.

I enjoyed the red of the Leviathan glowing under the water as it moved. Nice touch.

“Never get used to that view,” Maria says, once again framing her eyes only as a joke and never a legit issue when it presumably would be.

Yang has ditched the casing on her arm after Adam’s attack. Maybe she and Blake can go arm/weapon shopping together. 

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 29-32

I realize leaving y’all hanging for a whole year like that in the snark, where our beloved heroes Andi and Dex had just been shot in their empty little heads, was very cruel of me. You guys must’ve been just DYING to know what happened.

Quick recap: Andi & Co are space pirates. They are captured by Andi’s ex Dex and the father of Andi’s childhood friend, whom she “murdered” by landing a ship bad. He asks her to get his son, who is in a dank dark prison. Andi does the thing with the help of Dex and her ragtag bunch of generic archetypes. 

We good?

Let’s go.

Chapter 29

We interrupt the 100% totally real threat of Andi and Dex being shot to death to have another boring-ass moment with Nor. She walks around in an underground lab feeling sorry for herself and thinking about how tragic her backstory is. We’re introduced to a two-headed scientist who could’ve been interesting in the hands of actually talented authors, but who doesn’t appear in the book after this point so she’s wasted. For some reason she’s also referred to as one person when the heads are clearly different individuals? Irl when there are two heads sharing one body the heads are different people with different names. You know, because the person is stored in the brain? Idk why Shinsay did this.

“Slowly, you dolt!” the right head screeched to the left. 

The left head huffed in annoyance. “I’m merely trying to give our queen a glimpse of her new toy.” 

“It’s a wonder I’ve been able to put up with you all these years,” the right head retorted. 

“You haven’t a choice, my dear,” the left said back.

I think this is supposed to be funny, but all I can think if is how everyone’s dialogue sounds exactly the same. 

We find out that this is where Nor’s people are developing the titular Zenith (except it’s not named yet, spoilers), and Nor wants to know if they’ve made any progress.

The two-headed scientist, Aclisia, says that the weapon is ready and that they only need a test subject. Did they develop this mind-altering thing without any previous test subjects? I mean I guess it makes sense that they’d need somebody unaffected by previous versions to test out the final product, but like ... Did the previous subjects die? That doesn’t bode well. 

Anyway, the test subject they have is one of the guards on Lunamere, where Andi and Dex were in the previous chapters. Nor is displeased that the guard “let them go,” and I want you to remember this line:

“You had one of the Unified System’s most wanted fugitives in my prison. And instead of keeping her there, where she could have been persuaded to join the right side of the galaxy...you lost her. [...]”

File that away for future reference, my pretties. 

Anyway, we end the chapter without even finding out what the drug does, because Shinsay love breaking their own pace and suspense because they have to rely on cliffhangers to keep people reading. 

Chapter 30

Oh Christ oh God it’s our girl Klaren again. It’s year twenty-four and despite five years passing this woman is still all about how she’s destined to die and everything in her life is crap, which, idk, mood I guess?

Xen Ptera is losing the war and Klaren is sick because of all the poison air or whatever. The king wants her to hide because enemy troops are closing in, and Klaren takes another moment to think about how she wasn’t supposed to fall in love and yadda yadda. 

Who’s ready for another Smaasism?

She wished she could go back. She wished she could change that passionate night they had shared, the careless days after and the tonic she’d forgotten to take...

tOnIC

You’d think in advanced space times they’d have more reliable birth control. 

Also ... wouldn’t the king expect an heir anyway? Like, we’ve seen that even the title of “general” is inherited in this shitfest of a universe, so wouldn’t he eventually catch on and insist on having a kid? Or if she claimed she couldn’t produce one, surely there would be tech to get around that? Idk. For all the future-sight this bitch had, she sure didn’t have any common sense. 

Klaren tells the king to take Nor and fuck off, and Darai says something about how she’s the strongest Yielded and how she must fulfill her duty. 

Which apparently includes going into the battlefield, which is conveniently right outside the palace, and mind-control General Cortas into wanting to fuck her so bad he forgot she was his enemy. 

Her husband was wrong. 

Hope was not dead. 

Hope, in the form of the queen’s sacrifice, had only just flickered to life.

This is framed as tragic and beautiful but she is about to mind-rape a man for years soooo get ready for some extremely uncomfortable shit.

Chapter 31

We’re back in Andi’s POV, except it’s still a fucking flashback. This time it’s to when Andi was still Kalee’s Spectre and lived with Valen and the other dingdongs. And then we get actually good writing?

During meals, when Andi and the other Spectres stood guard, she’d watch him curiously. Valen usually sat in the farthest seat from his father, hunched forward as if he were battling some deep, silent pain. Sometimes she’d catch him staring at her with his strange, unblinking hazel eyes, his paint-stained fingers gripping his golden fork like a weapon he didn’t want to use.

Like I’m into this. It’s showing and not telling, mysterious and intriguing without being on the nose, and for once Andi doesn’t have all the cards and knows what Valen is inside and out, so his character doesn’t become obvious. Like, he’s battling some pain, but he’s also reluctant to use a weapon? That could mean anything! In a good way!

This good chunk is also immediately ruined by the following descriptions, which point out that indeed, all the other kids talk about Valen and how WEEEEYOOORDDD he is, and how he’s constantly covered in paint, because that’s what artists look like, I guess. Catch me bodyslamming a freshly painted park bench to prove I know color theory.

We’re also told that Valen never got a personal Spectre for spooooooky reasons. He just doesn’t feel like a proper part of the family, ya know? I wonder that it all could meeeeaaaaaan. 

This is all told to us just so we can revisit the part where Valen tries to stop Andi and Kalee from going on a joyride. Kalee insults him for a bit, and then Valen drops some more foreshadowy dialogue about how he hopes this birthday is everything Kalee wants it to be. 

Subtle. 

Chapter 32

OH MY GOD WE’RE IN LIRA’S POV NOW. YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE SHINSAY, WE KNOW YOU WOULDN’T MURDER YOUR PRECIOUS CELAENA AND RHYSAND RIPOFFS IN CHAPTER 29 WHEN THERE’S A BILLION MORE CHAPTERS LEFT.

Lira has been literally counting seconds since they left Andi. 

Yeah.

She recaps everything that happened three chapters ago, saying they executed their secret plan with the “ultimate amount of finesse” before noting that despite obeying Andi’s direct orders to run, she feels like a traitor. 

Your captain is in chains, a voice whispered in the back of her mind. You should be by her side. Instead, you’re running. 

All you ever do is run.

I have literally no idea how this is even a little bit relevant considering that they’re waiting for Andi and Dex to return and aren’t moving anywhere. By the way, Andi and Dex are thirty minutes late. Which freaks Lira out because THAT WASN’T IN THE PLAN. 

Her scales start freaking out and she’s about to overheat. Holy shit, how are you still alive? 

Honestly, this is a pretty accurate depiction of someone with an anxiety disorder, but I think we’re supposed to think Lira is emotional or analytical or loyal or whatever. I doubt Shinsay have the finesse required to write something like this on purpose, so this just reads as incompetence. 

Apparently Andi said that if they’re late, the girls are supposed to flee and save themselves, and Lira is starting to get antsy. 

Ok so ... just moments ago you were worried about how you’re always running away. So why is your first instinct when your beloved captain is THIRTY MINUTES LATE to book it? Like. Calm the fuck down. Thirty fucking minutes, in space? Can you chill??? 

Lira whines more about how this is the second time this week that she’s second-in-command and she hates it. Hey why not give that responsibility to Breck, who’s always calming everyone down? Would that make too much sense? 

Lira goes to her room to mope and angst about how she likes being alone. It’s riveting. She thinks about how this crew is her SOUL and how much she LOVES them. Which we can see by her sitting alone in her room thinking about how much she loves them, obviously.

She continues to angst about how her dad died of Space Plague, and her mom became a drunk because ... Idk, that’s what moms do in books like these. But lo, she and her brother got taken in by their Cool Aunt, who then wanted them to Do Things when they grew up, and Lira doesn’t want to Do Things, she wants to fly around and Crime. 

So she left her home planet because her Cool Aunt wanted her to Do Too Much Stuff, and the weight of her expectations crushed Lira, who must soar the skies like the beautiful bald blue bird she is. 

The other girls interrupt this godawful exposition dump by inviting Lira to play some Not!Pokémon. And we get this exchange, which I included in my review, and yes, it’s real:

“Hope is a raging asshole,” Gilly said. 

“Explain to me, Gilly,” Breck said with a sigh, “how exactly can an asshole rage?”

Lira choked on a sudden, unexpected laugh. “I swear, the two of you. You were both born with my brother’s sarcastic soul.”

This bloated and repetitive nonsense that apparently passes for character development is interrupted by Alfie, who’s gotten out of the waste bay. We’re reminded that this ship doesn’t have any mechanics, because of course, and Alfie makes a reference about how the ship’s AI’s voice is turning him on. 

It appears Lira has gotten a message from Soy to come and get Andi and Dex.

*sigh*

[bitchcakegreen]

A View from Behind the Camera - GoT Episode 6 x 9 - Don’t Bring me Back

Here we go again, fam! Tonight we will look at the Don’t Bring Me Back scene or Jon and Mesliandre in the tent. This is a short scene lasting less than two minutes from start to finish but there is a lot there direction wise. 

While we will still go over the shots and the angles, this scene is fairly simple, visually speaking. This one is all about the writing and the acting. Because it is so short and so simple it can be easily overlooked. But it shouldn’t be. There is a lot going on.  So let’s get to it shall we?

We open the scene with an aerial shot of the encampment (CGI most likely) and we can see a small figure that we come to know as Jon walking toward a tent.

We next cut to an interior shot of Melisandre’s tent. The shot is a wide shot with the camera placed at the far end corner of the tent so we can see her seated in a full body profile and we can see the entrance to the tent. He addresses her when he enters then the camera POV shifts to a low angle establishing shot. The camera is pointing up from a place at the ‘table’. We see Melisandre frame left and Jon comes to stand just off her shoulder about a half a foot away from her chair. Carice must look over her shoulder to speak to him. 

The brazier is an integral set piece because it 1. helps illuminate the scene but 2. provides a focal point for the shot for the both the actors and the audience. We hold this shot for the start of the conversation after Jon’s line “Any advice?” We cut to a close-up of Melisandre. She gives us a bit of a wry smirk and answers ‘Don’t lose’ We cut to a favor-on of Jon, with Melisandre in the foreground and blurred. Jon is our focus in this moment. Both are focused on the brazier. Kit takes a couple of beats. Beats don’t really have a numerical value. When we ask actors to ‘take a beat here’ we are essentially asking for a pause but letting the actor’s discretion for length. It’s what feels right to the actor. If the pause they take is too long then we will step in and adjust. The pause here is about a second. Then he speaks. “If I do, If I fall, Don’t bring me back.” A couple of things are happening here. Kit takes every word carefully. Jon wants to be sure that Melisandre understands EXACTLY what he is trying to say. Also he doesn’t move. He stands completely planted. His head barely pivots when he says “Back” He only shifts his eyes from the brazier to her. 

Let’s think about this for a moment. We are coming off the tent scene which Sansa says she’ll kill herself if Ramsey wins. At this point in the narrative Jon only has Sansa left. He is certain everyone else in the Stark family is dead. He doesn’t know about Bran or Wonder Ayra yet and he’s well aware that Rickon is as good as dead. The writers have given him these lines, and the director has given him this blocking, for the very reason that Jon doesn’t want to live in a world where there are no longer any Starks. He doesn’t want to be without his family, Sansa is his only tie to the living world. She is the only one save for Ned who truly calls him a Stark. (I’m speaking in terms of actual show dialogue here.) This is coming from a man who repeatedly talks about The Night King coming - even at this stage in the game. He knows that The Long Night is coming and his skills could be useful. But no. If he loses to Ramsey he wants to die because to be alive is to know that he is without Sansa, that he failed her. Shipping aside, this is still the meaning of this line.

We cut to a medium favor-on of Melisandre. 

We stay with her through her lines and halfway through Jon’s next line. We don’t cut back to Jon until his word “not” then we get a close-up with the favor on again as he continues. We stay with Jon until Melisandre’s line “I serve the Lord of Light’ We switch back to a medium close up of her again. After that we quickly switch to an over the shoulder shot of Jon. 

We stay with him for his quick line “How do you know what he commands?” Jon’s anger is building a bit but Kit keeps it low-key, a slow burn. We cut to a favor on shoulder shot of Melisandre in close up

We stay with this shot for a bit. What is really interesting in the shot, what gives it great texture, is we essentially have something framing her profile. Kit’s body is on one side and the shadows produced by the lightening designer on the other. You can see it really well in the above screenshot. She briefly looks up at him which then the camera shifts, it’s not really a pan or a smash cut but more of a gentle shift, to his face. We are in Melisandre’s POV for a split second as she continues. Jon is focused on her and that’s the shot we see until she says “I have no power” Then we return with the same gentle shift cut to the framing close up from the previous shot. We stay with her until his next line. We cut to him with a close-up, take a beat, and then he says “Why?” 

We shift to a shot of Melisandre’s face, the same close-up frame shot as prior, for her answer. She takes a beat and then the camera shifts to an establishing shot which is a reverse of the start of the scene. We are essentially looking into the tent now as opposed being privy to the conversation. The audience is now ‘outside’ looking in.  What we are seeing from Melisandre is great stuff too. Carice is a phenomenal actor. (Check out her film Black Book. She is riveting) In this bit we begin to see that The Red Woman is not as all powerful or confident as she seems. The audience gets much of this when she tries to bring Jon back in episode 1 and 2. We feel it here again. She tries to understand what the Lord of Light wants from her and Jon so she can make Jon understand as well. 

Following Melisandre’s line “Maybe he brought you here to die again.” There is a beat of about 3 seconds before we shift focus once more and have an extreme closeup of Jon, staring into the fire. He doesn’t look at Melisandre until the words “do something like that” then back to the fire again. He is resigned here. He’s only course of action is to win because he knows that should he fall Sansa will be gone, Winterfell will be gone, and there is a very real possibility the Lord of Light will resurrect him yet again to live in the shadow of all that. 

Cut to a extreme close up of Melisandre as she says “The one we’ve got.” 

Back to Jon with another extreme closeup as he continues to stare into the fire. This lasts for about 3 to 4 seconds and then he turns. He does not look at Melisandre again. We pull out with the camera back to the wide angle establishing shot from the doorway and Jon exits the scene, covered completely in shadow. We are left with a really gorgeous closing shot of a shadowed Melisandre alone, once again framed - this time by the tent flaps of the doorway. 

You can see how such a tiny scene, which doesn’t rely heavily on action, can pack a bunch. There is subtlety in scenes like this and that’s what we see in the acting choices from Kit and Carice. 

That’s all for now, folks. Next up...THE BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS. Honestly the Battle itself is likely something I will need to split up into small chunks. Its a behemoth. It took them 25 days to film so it will probably take me four or five posts to cover it all. Let me know if you all want me to skip the actual battle and I will focus on the Knights of the Vale riding in and Jon and Ramsey hand to hand. That said I think there is a ton of good stuff directorial wise in the actual battle so.... One more thing, my asks are always open so if you want me to analyze other scenes or have questions about the production end of TV and Film shoot me a message. 

I’m off! Have a great one, fam. 

[latenightcinephile]

#887: ‘Greed’, dir. Erich von Stroheim, 1924.

One of the most interesting quirks of this list is that its films have their runtimes listed. Usually, they’re pretty close: off by a few minutes that could simply be chalked up to new credits added for a DVD version, or a scene trimmed or a different frame rate applied for a cinematic release. On occasion, there’ll be a typo in the book or on a DVD case, listing a film that’s an hour and twenty-seven minutes as 127 minutes instead. Greed is different. Not because the runtime is wrong - it’s surprisingly close, and my copy is a little bit longer than the book suggested because of an opening crawl and a weird three-minute patch of darkness following the end credits. What makes Greed different is that the film we have today is not what Stroheim wanted audiences to see; nor is it the film that audiences in the 1920s actually saw. We don’t even know what either of those tests would be, precisely. What we have instead is a piecemeal version of what a complete cut might have looked like. Even then, it’s pretty great, and one of those unjustly forgotten films of the past.

What was Greed? In its earliest form, it is reported variously as being 47, 45 or 42 reels long (some nine-and-a-half hours of footage, run in one sitting). A different eyewitness report lists Stroheim’s cut at 42 reels, but only nine hours long. There was reportedly an eight-hour version. But when MGM, now with Irving Thalberg (who had similarly gutted Stroheim’s previous film, Foolish Wives) as head of production, took control of the wildly over-budget release, Stroheim desperately tried to save his picture, commissioning a fifteen-reel, four-hour cut (maybe 18 reels). MGM denied this one and churned out a ten-reel version instead, slashing almost all subplots they deemed ‘extraneous’. The result was resoundingly mediocre, missing huge chunks of plot that had been hastily replaced with inadequate intertitles, but not skimping on some of the more provocative aspects of the novel. It wasn’t tragic, but it wasn’t funny either - it was just depressing.

To make matters even more confusing, three different ‘complete’ versions of the film were available up until the 1990s, in a variety of different forms. It wasn’t until relatively recently that the four-hour cut was once again made available, consisting of the material from the MGM version with missing scenes reconstructed from intertitles and still photographs. The original film, whatever it was, is gone for good. The chances of anyone coming across a copy now, nearly a hundred years after the fact, are infinitesimally small. This isn’t one of those stories where it could turn up in an attic somewhere and be suddenly identified as a lost masterpiece. It’s not one of those films that could be unrecognised - any archive worth their salt, or anyone who could find a film major nearby, would know what they had. It’s just a product that is gone. We made do with what we have.

So, what do we have?

Unusually for a film this long, the plot of Greed can be summed up pretty quickly: Mac McTeague (Gibson Gowland) starts work as a miner, but quickly becomes apprentice to a dentist. After time, he is able to open his own dental surgery in San Francisco. His friend, Marcus Schouler (Jean Hersholt) introduces Mac to his cousin and love interest, Trina Sieppe (ZaSu Pitts). Trina and Mac fall in love and, shortly thereafter, Trina wins the lottery. As she grows pathologically protective of her wealth, Mac and Marcus have to come to terms with their feelings of ownership over Trina and her wealth. Marcus has his vengeance, Mac and Trina fall into poverty with Mac being seemingly unaware of Trina’s savings, and the relationship crumbles. Mac and Trina have one final interaction, and Mac leaves to seek his fortune mining in Death Valley. Marcus follows him and is determined to settle their feud once and for all.

The four-hour cut that is now widely available restores some of the subplots that MGM cut from the film. Stroheim was a realist filmmaker, keen to cram his shots with details taken from life, and devoted large periods of his film to expanding aspects not present in the original novel. One piece of this preamble that was apparently quite prominent in Stroheim’s original film, but which no longer comes across in translation, is an early scene that takes place in San Francisco. We follow Marcus’ boss, Old Grannis (Frank Hayes) from the vet hospital where he works back to the apartment building where he lives. He pays Zerkow (Cesare Gravina) to dispose of the dog he has euthanised that day, and then we meet the spinster Miss Baker (Fanny Midgely), who has an unrequited romance with Grannis. The awkward interaction between Grannis and Baker is interrupted by the building’s maid, Maria Macapa (Dale Fuller), who will spend most of her scenes with Zerkow. Upstairs, Mac is visited by Marcus. This scene spins out in this manner for about fifteen minutes, and was completely excised from the film’s original release. As Jonathan Rosenbaum puts it in his exhaustive analysis of the film for the BFI, “virtually all the major characters and themes of Greed are presented in this section, [but] practically nothing of any narrative consequence happens.” It’s a literary form of exposition, Rosenbaum says, but a literary form of exposition that’s surprisingly absent from the source novel itself.

MGM’s approach to the film was to cut out anything extraneous to what the studio perceived as the central plot: the interweaving of the fates of Mac, Trina and Marcus. In the release version, the romance between Old Grannis and Miss Baker is gone. The downfall of the unhealthy romance between Maria and Zerkow is gone. In fact, Zerkow’s entire existence is disposed of, and with it one of the most poetic (if overly explicit) explanations of the film’s themes. These two romances, both removed, also leave the film without any contrasts against the weird, compelling but deeply twisted main romance.

This is a romance, after all, that in both the film and the novel has some inadequately-explored sadomasochistic tendencies. As their married life grows more fractious, Mac takes to intimidating Trina by biting her fingers. In the novel, this is part of a wider pattern with further symptoms: Trina and Maria “proudly show off their bruises”, as Rosenbaum puts it. In the film, however, this is glossed over with a single title card (presumably there in the released version, too - there’s your prurient and salacious interests right there). “And yet this brutality in some strange inexplicable way aroused in Trina a morbid, unwholesome love of submission.” It’s never a comforting sign when this kind of event, some three-quarters of the way through the film where it can’t hope to get enough explanation, is still described as ‘inexplicable’. It feels like an admission that MGM couldn’t remove this moment from the film and yet couldn’t explain why it needed to be kept in. And yet it’s unclear why the moment couldn’t be removed - it’s tempting to suggest that it’s because we need a reason for Trina to have a few fingers amputated later in the film, but that’s not mentioned at all outside another title card that could also be removed. I’d once again suspect the studio was attempting to make Greed as scandalous as possible.

Long story short, what MGM has done is mangle a story that for once needed to be four or five hours long. By taking away all the padding around the scenes that remain, the film’s story becomes brutal, jarring and psychologically incoherent. By retrieving the other romances for contrast, and by reintroducing Trina’s family and Mac’s parents and all these other subplots, it actually helps the film in its four-hour version make sense.

The one upside of this film now being largely comprised of still shots is that it takes on a languorous quality that it wouldn’t otherwise have. We get more indication of the emotions of the story when they’re shown in still vignettes than is available in moving pictures in the 1920s. Stroheim has a tendency to make his films theatre plays, because his naturalistic sets are so crammed with detail that he could often only shoot them from a single angle. And yes, what remains is creepy as fuck. Trina is Marcus’s cousin and nobody finds this even worth mentioning (although Marcus stops short of saying this late in the film, indicating that there is a taboo being broken here). Mac’s first kiss happens while Trina is unconscious in his dentist’s chair.

Looking past all that to see what this film really is - a picture about people who are broken, who were broken long ago and can never get back on the path to fixing themselves - it works best when it’s symbolic. Stroheim shows Trina and Mac as two canaries in a cage that Mac owns, by turns cohabiting cheerily and fighting amongst themselves. Marcus is a cat that watches the birds gleefully. As Mac triumphantly declares Trina his, she gets her fingers caught in a mousetrap, which both immediately indicates that this isn’t the happy moment the music insists upon, but also foreshadows her masochist tendencies, her fingers caught in a different way. The final segment of the film, in Death Valley, is both amazingly shot in contrast to the staticness of the earlier scenes, and also intensely symbolic. Every still image from these sequences reads like a Salvador Dali Surrealist short, and it’s telling that this sequence is the only thing that made it into the released version intact. It’s chillingly made, creating a real sense of despair that otherwise only exists in the scenes of Zerkow and Maria that were cut.

Look at this. That’s the equivalent of Metropolis; of Sunrise; of City Lights; of L’Age d’Or. Here, those responsible for resurrecting Greed tint the entire scene in yellow which before now was limited to showing gold. We’re beyond the point of no return here, and the remastered version (as well as Stroheim’s) are equating gold and the sun as equally oppressive. For the last twenty minutes alone, Greed is a film worth experiencing if you can. There are parts that you could probably skim through, if you felt you had to, but this reconstruction gets as close to Stroheim’s original symphony of a film as we ever will.

[codylabs]

Chapter 27: Farewell Savage Fate

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 2:50pm (you don’t really need to pay attention to the times, they’re there for MY benefit.)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (control room)

-Warning: Intruders have begun Reactor 5 startup. Power output: 5% and rising. Coolant levels sufficient.

-Warning: Intruders have access to all remaining ship systems and engines.

-Input: Assign bioforms 3 and 4 a threat level of 20. Combat preference: Immediate lethal force. You are clear to engage. Take no survivors.

-Threat reassessed. Antimatter pellets loaded and launchers charged. Drones 155, 157, 158, 163, 164, 174, 175 and 179 engaging.

The 8 drones did exactly as they had been instructed, without a briefest moment’s hesitation. They hovered quietly out of the darkness, their eyes fixed on the entrance to the control room, their weapons hot, their minds already visualizing the battle.

Intruder 3, whom friendly faces knew as McGucket, was still busy at the computer, and would not be able to react in time. A single antimatter round could penetrate his torso and explode, killing him instantly. Stan, identified as intruder 4, remained catatonic in the chair; even if he were to wake up now, he would not be able to offer much resistance. Another antimatter round would terminate him.

Two shots. That’s all that was needed. Each drone loaded four for good measure.

But then something happened.

A brilliant flash of blue light lit up the control room. McGucket jumped backwards from the controls, startled and frightened. Did I just do that? This alien tech must be touchier than it looks… But then when he looked hard at the readouts, nothing seemed to have changed… All the settings and feedback were just where he’d left them… But then he noticed something really quite odd: The plasma beam weapon that had been leaned beside him was no longer there. He glanced around. Stan didn’t have it. Where did it go? What happened? It was right he—

The sound of eight simultaneous explosions echoed through the room. He heard debris rattling against the walls from outside, saw a scrap of burned wreckage bounce in past the doors, and shards of plating and chunks of robotic innards clattering to the ground outside.

Stanley was awake in an instant. “HI HEY NO PLEASE SUSAN I COULDN’T…! *Snrf* …Heeeey, can’t a fella get any sleep around here?”

“I dunno whatappened!” McGucket cried, rushing toward the door with Stan on his heels. “Whasappenin’ whatwassat noise whosthere whereintarnashin my death ray run off to?”

They looked out. Stan didn’t remember it being quite so warm and smoky. McGucket didn’t remember there being quite so many burned, smashed piles of robotic wreckage.

He also didn’t remember leaving his death ray out here. Yet there it was, sitting on the floor at his feet, that very same tool he’d misplaced seconds ago.

McGucket picked it up and found that it was lighter; its fuel tanks were nearly empty. And a quick check of the electrical charge revealed that the batteries were almost wasted as well.

The ignition chamber was still warm.

“Well I’ll be a pork-bellied feather-hearted dingleberry… What in the name of me Pappie’s gibberflunked bramblesnippin’ Mississippi combine just happened?”

“You need to keep better track of that thing.” Stan told him.

“Did you just do that just now?” McGucket asked.

“Did who do huh? Did something happen?”

“Wha--? But… The thing…? Oh my, lookit these poor robits…”

Stan made a long string of confused grunkley noises. “Welp, I’m in over my head. You got a brother I could call? I mean… A phone I could brother? I mean… Agh, can’t talk today. Hey waitaminute, where are the kids?”

“Yeh can’t get service down here…” McGucket reminded him. “Oh yeah, and them two teenagins said they’s was curious ‘bout somethin’, and ran off that-a-way.” He pointed off into the darkness.

“…Aaaagh. Dumb kids. Don’t they know there’s killer robots down here? …Okay; so you’re sure something blew all these things up?”

“Well yeah, an’ I think it may’ve used my plasma beam ta do it!” McGucket objected. “But I can’t rightly figger how they got it right out from under my nose, or ‘ow they did it so fast. Y’know this thing needs a moment to prime, a little bit ta charge, and even longer ta cool down, so it woulda taken a while ta do all this, but I believe I heard the events occur simultaneously, and…”

“Yeah, yeah, alright, listen, pal I’ve been living in a cramped ship’s cabin with my nerdy brother for the better part of a year now, and I have developed an extremely short fuse for technical mumbo-jumbo. So here’s how it is: if somethin’s weird, you say ‘somethin’s weird’ and stop there. Savvy?”

“Err… Sorry… Somethin’s weird.” McGucket said.

“Great. Weird. We know weird. We can handle weird. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with weird.” Stan pulled the doors closed behind them as they stepped into the control room. “Now. In case some maaaaagical death-ray-stealing mischief fairies wanna pay us another visit, I’ll leave it open a crack so we can hear ‘em coming.”

“Sounds good…” McGucket wrung his hands together as he stepped back up to the console. “Well… Actually, I think I got the programmin’ all finished. The reactor should be workin’ again. The gravitational nacelle has been calibrated to focus on the Forest of Daggers, and-”

“So what yer SAYIN’ is…” Stanley crossed his arms. “This whole joint’s gonna get weird once ya push that big red button.”

“…Yeah.”

“Better wait ‘till the kids are back then.”

“…I could run it through a test sequence…” McGucket scratched his chin. “Bring the core up to 50% output ta test for malfunctulations and stir up some noise; get ‘em back here faster.”

“Yeah. Great. Do that.”

McGucket hit the big red button.

It started quiet and built in intensity; an enormous, rumbling sort of hum, which thundered through the frame of the ship, shaking the walls, steadily overcoming all lesser noise.

McGucket turned it off again after a minute.

Stan adjusted his hearing aid. “That was a little loud.” He understated.

“Yeah, well, I reckon the coolant compressors had some corrosion, and the hydraulics were nearly rusted shut, so that’s my guess as to why…”

“Geez, you just take any little thing as an excuse to start in on it, don’t ya?” Stan grunted.

“Sorry.”

A noise from beyond the door interrupted them. It sounded like gunfire. From a raygun. Raygunfire.

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” Stanley picked up a weapon, and marched for the door. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

But when he levered the hatch open, he froze in surprise.

“Ford?”

“Stanley?”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 4:30pm (it doesn’t really matter when this was, but plotwise it happened before.)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack (time and place where Sam happened to locate Ford)

Mabel stared up at the shapeshifter for a minute. Then she blinked, rubbed her eyes, and looked again. Yeeeah, that’s him alright.

She didn’t know why he was here, who let him out of the bunker, or what he was doing here. To be honest, she hadn’t even a faint inkling of what the heck happened at all while she was asleep. Gee whiz, spend one afternoon in a coma, and now the single nastiest and scariest monster I’ve ever met is right in here in the Shack… She had quite a lot of questions, but Great Uncle Ford or anybody was nowhere around to answer them. There was only this creature, this hideous, frightening… Thing.

Oh well.

She may as well just ask.

“Hi guy!” She smiled, forcing a smile onto her face. Be Mabel. She thought. Just like Dipper told you. Be Mabel. Think good thoughts… This IS gonna end up okay. One way or another. “How’s it going?” She asked, as her cheery words forced past her fear. “When did you get here?”

Sam hadn’t been expecting a question like that. In fact, he hadn’t expected even a hint of this cheery disposition. Unsure of how to react, he found himself answering candidly. “Twenty minutes ago…”

“Okay! Uh…!” She hopped down from her chair and stretched her sore neck as she glanced around the room. “Have you seen my Great Uncle? He was just here I think.”

“…He’s gone.”

She blinked. “Well yeah, I can see that; did you see where he went?”

“I think I kindnapped him.” He heard himself answer truthfully again.

“Whaaaat…?” Mabel frowned up at him skeptically. “How in pig’s name are you not sure if you kidnapped somebody?”

“Well, I…” Sam blinked down at the little girl. “…He disappeared. I’m sure it was me who did it, or who will do it. And… I… Uh.” He looked down at the yellow time machine in his hands, and felt himself descending ever deeper into confusion.

Mabel followed his eyes. Her jaw dropped and she gasped loudly. “What…! You! Wha! That’s no tape measure! THAT’S A TIME MACHINE! You have a time machine! You really have one! For real! Where’d you get it?”

“Y-yes. I… My mother gave it to me, I—”

“You have a mother?!? What’s she like?!?”

“I-wha-hey!” He finally found his focus again, reminded himself that he was in charge, and drug the conversation back on-topic. “YES. I have a time machine.” He repeated, clicking his teeth. “And I’ve been using it to remake my life as I will… I took Ford, I outsmarted all of you, and now, I have everything I want…”

Before she had time to feel intimidated, Mabel started talking again. “This is so awesome…!” She smiled, as her brain but together a plan. “Yes… YES! With a time machine, we can save him! It’s perfect! This fixes everything! We have a TIME MACHINE! Man, your mom must be AWESOME! Is it your birthday? Or is it Christmas? Do aliens have Christmas in June? Summermas? Where did she buy it?”

“…Calm down.” Sam frowned at her.

“Saaaay new friend, could I actually borrow that thing for a minute?” Mabel pleaded. “It’s really really reallyreallyreallysuperduper important.”

“Calm down.” He repeated.

“I’ll give it right back and everything!” She promised as she reached for it. “But my brother kind of died a couple days ago so I really need to save him. It’s really kind of urgent so would that be alright? You could come too if you want!”

“QUIET!” He reached out a hand and pushed her away. She stumbled right over on the floor, and almost hit her head on the corner of a table as she went over. Sam blinked, surprised. Oops. She’s weaker than I thought. I almost hurt her; I didn’t mean to hurt her… Wait, why DIDN’T I mean to hurt her? Of course you mean to hurt her! You’re HERE to hurt her…!

“You’re a fool.” He growled out loud. “You’re asking me to loan you this? To save your brother?…” I’m here to hurt her. “Don’t you know who I am and what I’ve done?”

She stared at him blankly. “Well… Yeah, you’re the shapeshifter guy…? You kinda--”

“My name is Sam, and I’m your enemy.” He explained. “And as for what I’ve done, did you know your brother’s death was no accident?” He held up the machine. “I just used this to kill him, stupid. He’s dead because of ME. And I’m proud of it. Because I hated him.”

Mabel eased slowly up to a sitting position in one corner of the room, and then even slower to her feet. “Oh…” Her voice became small and flat, as she considered this latest revelation for a minute. “Oh.” She finally repeated.

He nodded. “Now what do you think of that?”

“Well… Uh…” Mabel’s shoulders shuddered briefly. “That’s… Kind of… Mean.”

Sam wasn’t sure if he’d heard that right. “Mean.”

“Yeah, pretty mean…” Mabel informed him. “Like… Pretty selfish too… Most people would be… Nicer than that.”

The two little orifices on the top of his head emitted a snort. Mabel supposed that they must be his nostrils. “Are you… Brain dead?” He asked, as his fangs clicked in amusement. “You do realize what I’m saying, don’t you? That I killed your brother in cold blood? That I’m going to kill your uncle? That your own fate is subject to my whim…? You do understand… Don’t you?”

Mabel wrung her hands inside her sweater sleeves. “…Yeah.” She said. “I get it.”

“…Then why aren’t you thinking dark thoughts?”

Dark thoughts…

Mabel recognized those words. Robbie once said those words. The day that Dipper died, Robbie had stolen her joy with those words. The day she’d brought Robbie along on her happy little adventure, and sent him down into the bunker, he’d come back with those words… Mabel finally put it all together.

“Oh…” She said. “That wasn’t Robbie, that was you… That was when you got out…” Her voice got small. “I let you out.”

“Give the young lady a prize.”

“Uh… Oh… I’m really sorry… I mean! Uh, no, not sorry, I mean good for you! Hi! Welcome to the surface world! Uh… Ooh. Gee. Awkward…”

There was silence for a moment in the room, as the girl and the monster looked at each other, neither one precisely sure what next to do or say. Finally Mabel spoke up again.

“So… Uh… Besides for killing people, what are you doing?” The girl asked. “Like… I’m still kind of confused, and time travel is really complicated so… What’s going on?”

Sam looked at her.

“Well…” He started. “I was just taking care of some business. Making sure that things happened the way they were supposed to. Making sure I got to where I am today. Controlling your very lives.”

“…You can’t control my life.” Mabel frowned.

“Oh, but I can. In fact, I already have… Do you remember this?” He produced a small metal box, popped it open, and removed the robot kitten, of all things.

“Oh… Uh… Hi Juan!” Mabel waved at the little metal creature.

Sam stuffed it unceremoniously back in the box. “You loved it so much that I can use it to manipulate you. I saved it when your family tried to kill it… And now… Oh, I have a wonderful idea! What if I were to give it back to you the next night, with a note attached to it that said you needed to take action? What if that was the spark that lit the fire inside you? What if that were the reason you first launched on your hairbrained quest and accidentally freed me? What if…”

Sam walked over to one of the computers in Ford’s study, and booted it up. When a data entry program appeared, he began to type. “How about it? Am I talking nonsense, or truly writing history here?” He finished typing, and hit another button.

A nearby old-timey printer began to chatter, and it noisily emitted a single small piece of paper. “There!” Sam held up the note and shoved it in Mabel’s face. “Is that the note? Does that sound like something nice enough to get you to do something stupid?”

Mabel read it.

Enjoy the time you have with him.

Because it’s not right for him to stay here long.

Find a good place for him, Mabel. We believe in you.

Be wise and loving. Be his hero. Save his life.

Mabel read it a second time.

“Uh…” She mumbled. “Yeah… That’s the note… Hmm. Oh.”

“Well then.” Sam pulled out the time machine, and disappeared in a flash of light.

Mabel blinked and stared at the place where he’d been standing.

She took a step back, and found herself all the way in the corner of the room.

I always just thought it was an honest, well-meaning invisible wizard who did that. She pounded her forehead with her fists. I just thought ‘hey, there must actually be some decent, happy people somewhere in the world’… But it was all a lie. Everything I did, it was just a random, convoluted, pointless wild goose chase that accomplished nothing except ruining everything.

But… Wait… If Sam DIDN’T give me that note, then I WOULDN’T have done anything, and I WOULDN’T have freed him and he WOULDN’T have given me that note! …But since he DID give me that note, I DID free him, so he DID give me that note… It’s just a weird random circle that happened for no reason except itself! Dang it time travel! Why you gotta be so complicated?!?

…Well… Actually, this entire thing relies pretty heavily on me being stupid. I was so bent on being kind, so determined to find niceness and happiness where there was none, that I turned my brain off entirely.

So if at any time I’d just decided to use my head, then that would’ve been it. And it wouldn’t have happened.

If the time loop ever DID had a cause, then that cause was me.

…

Dipper, what do I DO?

There was another flash of blue light, and Sam was standing there again.

“And that’s it.” He spread his arms grandly, like a magician would after the completion of a spectacle. “I’ve been hopping around doing whatever I please, killing whoever I please. And that’s why your uncle’s gone too. Soon as I’m through with you, I’ll head back in time, take him away, and do as I will…”

“Yeah…” She whispered. “I see.”

“It all fits.” He told her. “I did it. It’s been a complicated equation, but I’m the answer. I’m the end. And that’s what’s happening.”

Mabel bit her lip and squeezed back tears.

You need to be stronger, Mabel. Dipper’s words whispered in the back of her memory. No matter what happens, to me or anybody else, we need you to be strong. Strong enough to hold together when something hits you. Tough enough to take a thousand hits and never break. Be hopeful. Be loving. Be cheerful, and caring, and good… Be that way forever. With or without me. That’s what we need you to do…

Mabel took a deep breath. In an instant, she knew exactly what she had to do. I have a job. She remembered. Fate has a job for sweet, happy, trusting little Mabel, and I’m the only one that can do it.

Time to do it.

“Hey Sam.” She said.

“What?”

“I’m…” She wiped her eyes and struggled to hold her voice steady. She really was afraid. “Uh… Why you haven’t killed me? …Do you like me?”

“I— What?” He grew a couple inches taller and snarled. “I don’t like you.”

“Eh… Well! I mean!” Mabel stuttered. “I mean you must have hated Dippingsauce a lot to kill him, but with me you’re just standing there, so that means you don’t hate me. I mean you don’t have a reason to hurt me and you don’t really want to. And that’s why you don’t. So yeah, so right, so there.”

There was silence for a minute in the darkened room.

Sam hadn’t thought about it like that before. But now that it came down to it, he realized it was true… He didn’t hate her.

He remembered his mother. How she treated everything like an object, or a tool. In all things she acted shrewd, cruel, pragmatic and level. She hurt and killed anyone that ever crossed her, never hesitated to stoop to the sickest, most murderous depths to gain any advantage. Power was the name of her game, and strength was its only rules. That made sense to Sam. That fit with what he knew and had seen. That was the only way it ought to be.

When he realized that he himself didn’t hate somebody… It felt like weakness. Why don’t I hate her?

Why AM I even talking to her, anyway?

What am I trying to do?

He’d come here for revenge; to destroy even the memory of everyone who’d been responsible for what happened to him: Stanford Pines, Fiddleford McGucket, Dipper Pines, Wendy Corduroy…

And he’d also wanted to find his people, so that he would no longer be alone. But now that he knew what it meant to be a part of his own family, now I know what his mother expects of an ally, Now… It seemed to him that he hated her as much as he hated the rest of his enemies.

But that was also none of Mabel’s business.

Sam opened his mouth to growl something, but the girl was already talking again. “I dunno about you, but I want a happy ending!” She stated. “And I bet deep down you actually want to help me! Because really everybody wants everything to turn out alright. So do you think there’s any chance you could have a change of heart and start being a good guy instead of a bad guy anytime soon?”

Sam blinked as if in shock, having a hard time believing that such a train of thought could even exist. “…Really…?”

“Come on!” Mabel pleaded. “I know you can’t be all bad! You let me sit on your lap and drive when you were pretending to be Robbie! And how about Tambry? She’s been on her Facepage account, and her Bumblr account, and her Chirper account, and all her accounts all week really, talking about how great the concert was and how great Robbie was but you were Robbie!”

“I had to learn to operate a vehicle.” He explained. “You were the only one around with a rudimentary understanding. That wasn’t you sitting on my lap, that was me tricking you into teaching me. And as for Tambry, I needed to blend in. Killing and eating her wouldn’t have blended in.” Wait, what am I doing? Sam demanded of himself. Am I trying to justify myself to HER? Trying to convince her that I AM a monster?

If you want to convince her of THAT. Another thought intruded on his mind. Just kill her. Remember who and what and where you are. You’ve got places to be and things to do. Standing here chatting with a teenage girl is wasting precious seconds. You were right in the middle of your revenge!

“Well yeah but you still did let me sit on your lap!” She once again interrupted him. “And you still were extra nice to Tambry even when you didn’t have to; so how about it? Maybe you were even happier when you were nice to people! I don’t know, but maybe down deep inside you’re actually a nice person! And the only little problem is that you’re just really angry and mean and evil and think it’s alright to do terrible things, but you’re actually nice… You know, like Beauty and the Beast or Doofenshmirtz or Count Bleck!”

Sam stared at her.

Mabel swallowed quietly.

I have a job to do.

It all led up to this. It all wraps up in this. It all ends now.

She told her foot to take a step forward, but it hesitated. Come on, move you stupid leg! She silently shouted. I need you forward! The place where you aren’t! Just move movemove come on move! Sure it looks like a monster up there, but it’s really a person somewhere inside, a person who needs his justice too! Come on, this is it! Take a step! Her leg wasn’t used to being yelled at, and finally obeyed.

Then she told her other foot to take a step too. It hesitated as well, but obeyed just like the other. She could hear her own heart beating, and knew she had to keep talking so that fear wouldn’t drive her right back.

“S-s-so how about it, Sam?” She asked, and with a monumental effort forced a smile onto her face. “Maybe… Maybe we could work together to make everything right again! Maybe you don’t have to be the bad guy, maybe you don’t have to be alone, or sad, or angry… Maybe everything could be okay if you just stop thinking dark thoughts…”

She was close enough to touch him now. Close enough to smell his breath. Close enough that he could injure her by no more than flinching. Close enough to make out every detail of his creepy, slimy body. Close enough to even hug him.

“Come on, Sam…” She said. “Don’t you want a happy ending?”

In spite of himself, Sam considered it.

He weighed all sides of the issue. He remembered all the evil that had been done between him and this family he was killing. Stanford and Fiddleford’s experiments, and the years spent locked underground. Dipper and Wendy’s attempts at his life… But in return… There was everything he’d done back to them… So Sam then wondered about forgiveness: could this family forgive him? And could he forgive this family? Was forgiveness possible after things such as this? Could there ever be peace?

…And were friends something he ever wanted? He remembered the time spent with Tambry. Indeed, the best week of his life had been the one where she loved him; where he had people around to laugh and joke and eat and sing with. Nowhere, in all the revenge and violence or deceit since, had he ever tasted anything as sweet as love…

…But would any of it be worth it, to forsake the destiny his mother had laid out for him? She would have him live a life of lies, violence, malice… And with that life would come strength, power, greatness… A chance, perhaps, to one day return to his people, even earn their respect. He could earn allies, powerful allies. He could have anything he wanted…

Anything he wanted…

But what if peace was what he wanted?

Sam thought about these matters.

And then he made his decision.

He raised his hands in the air, and brought them down hard. Mabel’s body broke and twisted and came to pieces as he smashed her to death. And each blow brought more resolution, more clarity, more confidence to his soul, as he knew then and there exactly the type of man he was. But it also broke his heart, for he knew that he was throwing away what could be his one and only chance at honest friendship.

In that moment, he hated himself more than he had ever hated another, so that he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, and longed more than anything in the world to change his decision. But there was no going back on it now; he had sealed his soul and his fate, with a sin so cruel and monumental that could not be undone, even within his own mind. And with this burden on his heart, he turned and left the lab, to continue a life that led ever deeper into darkness.

At least.

That’s exactly what would have happened.

But instead, before he made his decision, while he still thought about these matters, he was distracted. And while he was distracted, Mabel’s hand darted forward, and plucked the time machine out of his hand.

The action was so quick, so nimble, and so utterly unexpected, that he didn’t even have time to react until she was already gone.

Gone, gone, gone.

Already gone.

- Time:

- 2013 A.D. (somewhen)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack

The ethereal blast of the time-jump left her disoriented as her feet touched down in Ford’s study in some other distant time. She wasn’t sure exactly when she was, she just knew that she was safe.

It worked. Mabel gasped.

As soon as she was sure, her legs buckled beneath her, and she collapsed onto the cold wooden floor, crying and shaking and maybe even laughing just a tiny little bit. “I’m sorry…” She blubbered. “I’m sorry Sam… I’m sorry… I lied… You…” She choked. “You don’t get a happy ending you gross, fat, lying, murdering, poop-headed JERK! …You killed my brother… Nobody… Nobody gets to do that… Nobody… Nobody… Nobody…”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 2:50pm (about the same time, maybe a little before)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (some place on the way back from the Shifter’s lair)

The close metal walls of the alien ship creeped with slime, rust, and decay. In every direction they stretched, great decrepit monoliths interwoven with deliberate purpose by beings long since dead. The trusses and members of the walls curved over and beneath and around the hallways, like the uneven, bloated ribs of some monstrous, shapeless corpse. The rays from the headlamp reflected strangely off the faded metal surfaces, casting shadows shaped like reflections, and reflections shaped like shadows.

It was a scary place on its own. Human minds have always guarded a natural fear of the strange and unknown, and this environment seemed designed to foster such unease. Any pillar might seem to hide an enemy. Any dark area might conceal death. Everything but the very nearest walls were a mystery, forgotten since time out of mind.

Wendy should have been afraid.

But this place wasn’t strange or unknown to her any more. She understood it, and the very real, very dangerous threats that inhabited it: the cold reckoning and electronic reflexes of patrolling security machines, and the wily, bloodthirsty intelligence of a timeless, formless beast. There was a reason, she knew, that this place had gone unnoticed for so very long: everybody who ventures inside was killed. Murderous natures did lurk around every corner. Fear was never irrational.

Wendy should have been afraid.

And yes, she did want out of here.

Yes, she wanted nothing but to return to peaceful places, to be reunited with loved ones, and to lie quietly at home in the light, far from harm and the burden of destiny and violence.

Yes, she was in phenomenal pain.

Yes, she was probably bleeding out.

Yes, she was trying very hard to keep her eyes open, because she knew that if she bent over and fell asleep now, she would never awake.

But she wasn’t afraid.

Not even a little.

Not anymore.

Her slow, limping trudge was interrupted by a quiet noise from somewhere up ahead. A pair of security drones hovered around a corner and fixed her with their unwavering red stare. Beneath their smooth surfaces, all manner of weapons charged and readied.

But their sensors swept her, and found none of the usual chemical markers of hostility. They saw her calm. Perhaps one of them sent a request to the security officer, asking for input on how to deal with this subject. But the officer never responded.

“Don’t even try it.” Wendy muttered up at their unhearing stares. “She’s already dead. And I’m already gone.”

She never stopped walking. And the drones did nothing but watch as she approached, watch her pass between them, and watch her backside as she continued on her way.

Soon now… So soon, and it would all be over. Once she finished her tasks and closed all the time loops, she would be free to undo all of history. Return things to the way they were supposed to be. Return to peaceful days free of sickness. Return to the nights when she could sleep easy. Return to a time when killer robots were the worst she had to deal with.

Return to the mission.

Return to him.

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 4:28pm (less than a minute after Sam’s appearance)

- Place:

- Ford’s study, beneath the Mystery Shack

Ford didn’t honestly have time to put together what all was happening. All he knew was that somehow, the shapeshifter was right here in the Shack, his niece was helpless and asleep behind him, and this thing is a much faster than I…

Strong hands grabbed him by the collar and hurled him headfirst toward the wall. He winced instinctively to prepare for the impact, as he reached for a weapon hidden in his coat.

Then there was a flash of blue light, and he didn’t hit the wall; he hit Mabel.

They both went into a pile on the floor.

“OOF! HEY! WHAT?!?”

Mabel stood back up unharmed and ecstatic. “It worked! It worked!” She blared like a siren. “I saved you! It worked!”

“Umm! Uh! Agh! What’s happening?” He staggered to his feet and drew the gun. He saw the shapeshifter standing in the middle of the room, frozen mid-throw… And he saw that Mabel was still where he’d left her, asleep in the chair. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure who he should be aiming at: the frozen shapeshifter, or the mysterious second Mabel?

Before he could do either, the mysterious second Mabel had her arms wrapped tightly around his hips, squeezing him in a tight hug and jumping up and down at the same time.

“I can’t believe I did it! It worked! It worked! I time-traveled like an expert pro and I froze time and I saved you! At first I was confused because time machines should just have only two buttons, for forward and backward, but instead it had a bunch of other buttons and one of them said ‘FRZ’ which I first thought stood for ‘Fat Rolling Zebras’ but then I realized it stood for ‘FReeZe’ as in ‘freeze,’ so I tried it out and time froze so here we are, and I’m sorry when I’m excited I tend to deliver exposition in really long unbroken sentences!” She finally took a breath. “But anyway it’s like destiny or something! IT WORKED!”

Ford poked his fingers up under his glasses to rub his eyes, then tried to compose himself as he waited for the spots to clear. He took a deep breath. He was still sick with a high fever, and still running on about 2 hours of sleep; not the best conditions to go on any type of adventure, let alone making sense of whatever the heck this was. “Okay.” He said anyway. “I think I got it, but just in case… Would you remind repeating all that again? Significantly slower this time please.”

Sam stared at the place where Mabel had disappeared, having taken his fate, his hope, and his one possession with her.

He had been tricked.

But he was not unintelligent. He was not unfamiliar with the way time travel worked. He knew in an instant what this meant.

It meant that she was going to save her uncle. That had been the real reason he disappeared. It was her who’d taken him, not to kill him as Sam would have, but to save him. Now that Sam’s greatest, oldest enemy had access to the tape, Sam realized that he could be easily killed at any time. Just as I killed the boy. At any point they could freeze the flow of time, and appear among that breach in the flow with a deadly weapon at the ready. I won’t see anything. I won’t feel anything. At any moment now, any moment at all, I’ll see a flash of bluish light, and when it fades, I will stand with a mortal wound.

Any moment now…

Any moment now, and the good guys will win.

Any moment.

Sam stared at the place on the floor.

He imagined Mabel standing there again, and tried to think what he might try to say to her if he could. What could he say? Could he apologize? Could he beg? Could he undo time and give her back her beloved brother? No… Yes… No… Perhaps… If only she were here again… Oh, who am I kidding? If she were here again, the only smart option would be to kill her again…

Then he imagined Stanford there, and tried to rehearse what he might say to him. Could he reason with him? Could he accuse him? Or just beg for mercy all over again; beg to be consigned to another terrible life in a cold prison beneath the ground? It would be so much better than death… ANYHING was better than death. Anything but that cold, dark, mysterious hell… No… No, if Ford were here, I would just attack him again. Because I will not suffer prison again. Never, not again, not one minute more. Death, any death, would be better than that.

He imagined Tambry there. What the devil could he say to her? Perhaps, before he died, he would have liked to tell her that he really did love her. He wasn’t sure if it was true, but he wished so badly that it was. Most of all, he would’ve just liked to thank her for loving him, and for leading him through the one beautiful week he’d ever had in his life; the one he’d spent in the light. That, he knew, was true. Oh, Tambry… If you were here… I could tell you that I did indeed love you… But if you were here, you would finally see me for who I really am, and then you would hate me, just like all the others. You would hate me for being a monster. And I would kill you and possibly eat you, because… Because…

Why? Why are you so bloodthirsty, Sam? Why is every inclination of your soul only evil all the time? How did you come to be the monster that you are? What foul soul did you inherit from that psycho mother of yours? What black deeds must she and her kind have done, far away and long ago, so black and pitiless and cruel that they echo right down to you…?

Then he imagined his mother there.

And he couldn’t imagine a single thing he could possibly say to her. He couldn’t even bring himself to meet her eyes. He bowed his head.

“You’re weak.” In the back of his mind, he heard his mother’s words whispering down at him. “If you were strong, you could have killed him when you were a child. If you were strong, you could have escaped. If you were strong, you could have killed them all. If you were strong, you could have been worthy to stand, worthy to be called my son. If you were strong… If you were strong… If you were strong…

If I was strong…

Sam couldn’t cry. His eyes didn’t naturally have any tear ducts, for his body was slimy enough already. And he couldn’t’ scream. He’d never screamed before, only roared or snarled. But those were sounds for anger, for fight-or-flight, for pain of the body. He didn’t know what sound to make for this pain of the soul, or for this incredible, overpowering mortal fear. He knelt down on the floor and he wondered if he could pray at least.

Dear God.

Dear God…

…

God, I hate you too.

There was nothing else to say, nothing at all.

But a song did come to mind.

It was an old, classic song, one that McGucket used to play 30-something years ago, down in the lab on an old record player. It was long ago in Sam’s youth, and he hadn’t quite understood the meaning of the words back then. But he recalled them now, and now he understood. Indeed, it seemed as if it had been written for him, so he quietly recited it.

“Well, my name, it is Sam Hall, Sam Hall.

Yes, my name, it is Sam Hall, it is Sam Hall.

My name it is Sam Hall, and I hate you one and all.

And I hate you, one and all,

Curse your eyes.

…

I killed a man, they said, so they said.

I killed a man, they said, so they said.

I killed a man, they said, and I smashed in his head.

And I left him lying dead,

Curse his eyes.

…

But a-swinging, I must go, I must go.

A-swinging, I must go, I must go.

A-swinging, I must go while you critters down below,

Yell up, “SAM I TOLD YOU SO!”

Well curse your eyes.

…

I saw Mabel in the crowd, in the crowd.

I saw Mabel in the crowd, in the crowd.

I saw Mabel in the crowd and I hollered, right out loud,

“Hey there Mabel, ain’t you proud?

Curse your eyes.”

…

Then the sheriff, he came to, he came to.

Ah, yeah, the sheriff, he came to, he came to.

The sheriff, he come to and he said “Sam, how’re you?”

And I said, “Well, sheriff, how’re you?

Curse your eyes…”

…

My name is Samuel, Samuel.

My name is Samuel, Samuel.

My name is Samuel, and I’ll see you all in hell.

And I’ll see you all in hell.

Curse your eyes…”

He shifted one of his hands into a long, bony stinger. And he placed it under his chin. He lowered the bone density in his skull so that it would be easy and painless.

“…And I’ll see you all in hell…

…Curse your eyes…”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 3:05pm (one hour previously)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (last known location of Wendy, Stan, McGucket, and Robbie)

A short time jump, a two-mile walk, and a seemingly endless ladder later, Ford and Mabel found themselves slowly and stealthily progressing through the engine room of the alien spacecraft. Mabel’s story mulled around in Ford’s head, while worry and anger built up in his chest.

“Wow, this place is creepy. How come you never brought me down here? Are there lots of aliens? It’s dirty down here. They must have run out of soap. And did they invent sparkles on their world? We need to take them to our glitter. Wow, di-”

“And you’re sure the Valentino boy was replaced?” Ford interrupted.

“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “You’re sure that he went down here with everyone?”

“Yes…” Ford hissed. His worry increased with the darkness and the silence and their depth beneath the ground, and his anger increased with Mabel’s constant talking and chattering and cheeriness. Why couldn’t she just calm down and be quiet? Didn’t she realized the danger wasn’t yet passed?

Eventually, the walls began to shake, and a great noise filled the air. Ford pulled Mabel for cover, and they sat there together in the dark, waiting for the noise to pass. Ford realized that it must be McGucket; he must have gotten the ship’s reactor working again… At least he hoped it was him… He hoped his friend was still alive, still in control… One worry on top of another.

“So what are we doing down here, again?” Mabel asked.

Ford’s patience was growing dangerously thin.

“We.” He growled. “Need to find the others, and warn them about the shapeshifter. There’s no telling where and when it has been, or what it did, before you trapped it. It could have been here right at this very moment…!”

“That last sentence was pretty confusing, but okay, I’ll be quiet!” Mabel whispered a little too loudly. “Wait, hold on, when are we right now? Are we in the present?”

“Every time is the present when you’re in it.” Ford rolled his eyes. “It’s a subjective term.”

“Brain hurting…”

“To answer your question, we’re about an hour before you stole the time machine from it. With any luck, that will prevent it from seeing us coming.”

“Hmm… Okay, yeah, but actually, I think he’s a ‘he’ not an ‘it’. I mean since he has a soul and everything.”

“What?”

“Right? I mean, living underground for so long probably made him really sad and angry. And now that he’s out, he got a name, and a mom, and he really started to… You know, really become his own person and everything… Like, his revenge is wrong and everything, but it still makes sense…”

“The… The… The ability to think…” Ford stuttered. “D-d-doesn’t make you a person. Neither does the ability to lie. But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is that we find everyone else, get them to safety, and get out again without being seen by something worse…”

“Stealth mode… Activated.” Mabel pulled her sweater up over her nose, and combed her hair into a ninja mask.

Ford paused to stare at her. “…Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better at least!” He suddenly burst. “You know, for a girl who just lost her brother to a murderous monster that she unleashed herself, you’re acting awfully chipper, you know that?”

That hurt.

But Mabel was used to hurt after all this. She’d already reached rock bottom today. Rock bottom was a terrible place to be… But Dipper had met her there. He’d still loved her there, and he’d helped her rise back up.

“He forgave me.” Mabel said.

Ford lost his temper as he stood up and continued down the passage. “Then he’s a BETTER MAN than I!”

That hurt even more.

Mabel was silent from that point on.

And Ford pushed onward, trying to ignore his own guilt, as he wondered if perhaps he was the one the shifter truly hated. Perhaps all of this was just an elaborate, contrived ploy to get back at him… Perhaps it’s all my fault. Perhaps that really was an intelligent creature I locked in my lab for all those years. Perhaps if I’d treated him as an equal, or a friend, or a child, then… No. NO! It’s an ‘it’! It’s evil! It killed! And it will kill again! Ford pushed his guilt, and his doubt, and all other cluttering, pointless thoughts toward the back of his mind. And he promised to think about it later; sometime when everything was safe. Sometime when he could afford to waste even a single moment on such thoughts. Sometime when real people, when humans, when family, weren’t in danger of death.

Finally, a dim yellowish light appeared not far ahead, reflecting green off the bluish walls. They rounded one last corner to find the light shining out through a crack in a heavy metal door; Ford recognized it as the entrance to the control room. Somebody must still be inside. Please be Fiddleford and Stan. Please be alive…

But then Ford noticed something very odd: this hallway had been rather empty the last time he’d been down here. But now it was messy; cluttered with debris and broken machinery and thousands of shards of shattered glass. He motioned Mabel to a standstill, and pulled out a magnet gun as he bent to inspect the wreckage. He recognized a lot of these parts; fusion pulse weapons, tentacled robot arms, and scraps of spherical glass shells, perhaps 2 meters wide.

“What’s all this clutter? Was this an alien attic or something?” Mabel whispered from his elbow.

“No, these are security drones… Or they were…” Ford poked at it with the barrel of the magnet gun.

“Are they all dead?”

“Well it definitely appears as if… Wait.” Ford’s eyes swept the carnage. Toward the opposite end, a single motor twitched. One of the red triangular eyes lit up briefly to look at him.

Ford flipped the gun to its pulse setting, and shot it. The red eye flashed, and sparks arced across its body, frying and scrambling its circuits. The remains of its artificial intelligence realized it ought to send some manner of report back to the central mainframe, but it was so frazzled that its last words ended up being nothing but an incoherent string of nonsense: “INTRUDERS DETECTED INCONCLUSIVE REFERENCE CODE RETURN THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL ONE: ERROR 443\]kl;/oij#JE’~~3Dde~~~…” It broadcasted with the last of its consciousness.

“Now they’re all dead.” Ford answered confidently.

“Okay. So-”

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” A new voice spoke up, coming from the control room entrance. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

Ford spun on his heels. The narrow sliver of light creaked open to its full width, and the silhouette of his twin brother was suddenly standing in the gap.

“Ford?”

“Stanley?”

- Time:

- 2013 A.D., June 12th, 3:05pm (concurrent)

- Place:

- Crash Site Omega (Wendy)

It seemed like hours of walking, with the pain burning through every wound in her body, blood pooling from the spike in her stomach, and her legs stiff beneath her. It was probably only 20 minutes or something, but still.

Finally, she reached the control room at the ship’s center, and pulled the tape to jump back to right before she’d heard the ship’s engines going off; back when she’d first realized drones were being sent to kill McGucket and Stan.

She hit the ‘freeze’ button on the tape as she appeared, and took a moment to look around. Sure enough, there were no fewer than 8 drones approaching the control room, and sure enough, the old men had no idea what was coming. Stan was even asleep.

Ugh.

Well, they’re too high of the ground to use an axe… And I left the ray gun somewhere… Ugh… Oh hey, wait, McGucket brought that new death ray of his, didn’t he? Yeah, he has it down here…

She stumbled into the control room, unfroze the massive weapon, and brought it back outside.

Okaaaay, soo… How do you turn this thing on?

She messed with it for a couple seconds, flipping this switch and that, pulling the trigger, and scratching the record (why is there a record player?) Eventually she found a switch that made it make a whole lot of funny noises, and another one that turned on the ‘ignition’ light. The weapon roared to life in her hands, and a swirling, glowing pink ball of pure sci-fi-ness formed a few inches from the tip. She aimed it upwards at the first drone and pulled the trigger.

Wham.

The time-frozen room glowed with brilliant pink light for a moment, as the superheated beam tore through the robot’s shell. The grass cracked, the metal components melted, and its batteries violently burst.

But time was still frozen, so its debris just hung motionless in the air, mid-explosion, as Wendy aimed the weapon at the next drone.

Wham.

And the next.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

Finally they were all dead, and Stan and McGucket were safe.

Huh. Wow. She looked down at the death ray. I actually REALLY like this thing. She unfroze time just long enough to watch the robots’ wreckage clatter to the ground, and catch the stench of warm smoke. Then she dropped the death ray where she stood, and stepped back into the shadow of a nearby pipe to think through strategy: Okay, so they’re safe, that’s a real load off. But now how do I find Sam? How do I get myself medical attention when I can’t trust anyone? How do I keep him from killing Mabel and Ford and everybody else? Where do I go from here?

Oh man, I’m still bleeding…

Every time she thought about her injury, it seemed to be getting worse. And always she seemed to be getting tired faster. Things were getting… Weird… And every time she sat down, it was harder and harder to force herself to stand back up.

After 10 minutes of balancing torture and sleep, she was forcefully drug out of her brooding by the sudden loud discharge of a magnet gun.

“OKAY WHAT WAS THAT?!?” Stan’s distant voice mirrored her thoughts. “That better not be you stupid fairy brats again! Because I swear, this is getting on my last nerve! C’mon out and show yourself!”

Wendy forced herself to an upright sitting position, and peaked around the pipe to see what was happening.

Much to her surprise and suspicion, she saw two guests that she’d presumed dead.

“Ford?”

“Stanley, is that you?”

“Bro, why are YOU down here? I told you to get some rest!”

“The real question is why y’all’re down here!” Mabel piped up. “It’s colder and creepier than the county jail down here! Heck, creepier than a unicorn dungeon! Dare I say, even creepier than a gnome drunk-tank!”

“Mabel!” Stan noticed his great niece standing there with him. “Sweetie! Are you okay? What’re you…? What’re you both doing down…?”

“Stanley give me your hand.” Ford commanded, rushing up to him. “Here. Now. Give it. Quickly and quietly now; we haven’t got all day. Mabel, stand guard, would you?”

“What woah hey what’s the matter with-” Stanley began to protest as Ford grabbed his wrist, drew a small knife, and pricked a hole in Stan’s palm. Stan drew his hand back as fast as he could react, and clutched his wounded fist to his chest. “OW HEY GEEZ FORD WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!? YA COULDA KILLED ME!”

“I… I was just…” Ford looked at the drops of red fluid trickling out of his brother’s fist. “Red blood. Good. My apologies, it was a necessary evil. Stanley, we’ve got a-”

“Look poindexter, I don’t gotta put up with this! I’m OLD!”

“We’ve got a problem.” Ford continued. “Where’s Robert?”

“I said I’m too old for this!” Stan gave one last try at driving the idea appropriately far into his brother’s brain. “TOO. OLD… And wait, who in Stalin’s pits is ‘Robert’…?”

“The Valentino boy! Shaggy, gangly little creature. Wears a hoodie? Eyeliner? Human, I believe.”

“…Oh you mean Robbie? Yeah, he was here earlier. McGucket said he ran off with Wendy about an hour ago. Thought they’d be back by now.”

“Oh, blast it all…” Ford nervously glanced about.

Wendy sighed, and drew her axe. If Ford and Mabel were real, then that was 4 of her friends accounted for, and she could get their help. But if one of them was the Shifter… She didn’t know how she’d face him in her current state, but it would be better to get it out of the way now than later. “ALL RIGHT YOU TWO…” She announced, as loudly and strongly as she could muster. “HERE’S HOW IT IS.”

Everyone turned about, looking for the source of her voice. Ford drew a ray gun and pointed it toward her hiding place in a fit of panic.

“Stan 2…” She struggled upright, using her axe like a walking stick. “You… You know about the shapeshifter… Which means you either beat him, or you are him. So… So prove the first one or I swear I’ll, like… Do something bad…”

“Uh… I can vouch for him!” Mabel spoke up. “He ain’t been out of my sight!”

“And I can vouch for Mabel…” Ford said. “But now YOU… Uh… You’d better be the real Wendy…!”

Wendy figured that was proof enough. Or maybe it wasn’t… Oh, heck if she knew. And even if it wasn’t, she couldn’t fight like this…

She stepped out into the light.

She was bleeding the color red from enough places that they no longer found her suspect.

“Geez, girl, you alright?!?” Stan took in her injuries. “C’mon, sit down! What got ya?”

“Uh…” Wendy finally seemed to partially relax, and let Stan lead her over to a big, round alien chair in the control room. “You… You guys are all okay… You’re all alive. I thought…”

“Wendy, I’m dreadfully sorry, but we have bigger problems!” Ford told her. “We have reason to believe that the Shapeshifter had a parent, likely possessing time-travel capabilities of far-reaching extent. Have you s-”

“Neutralized.” Wendy collapsed into the chair, while Stan fumbled with a first aid kit. “I… T-t-took care of it.”

Ford blinked. “You… Did? It’s captured?”

“Dead.” Wend winced as Stan lifted her jacket to inspect the wound. “She’s dead.”

Mabel put her hand over her mouth. “You killed her?”

Ford frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeh.” She grunted quietly.

“Uh…” Ford noticed the greenish filth covering her shirt and forearms for the first time, and was shocked to realize it was all blood. “Uh… Y-y-yes…” He stuttered. “I should think so…”

“Where’s…” Wendy grunted. “W-w-where’s the other one? The first one? Has anyone seen him?” She fixed her eyes on Ford and Mabel. “YOU’VE seen him. Where is he? I’m going to kill him too…”

“The heck you are!” Stan growled, as he kept pressure on her wound with one hand, and rustled through the first-aid kit with the other. “I ain’t no doctor, but you’re in a real bad way, so you’re staying right here until we get ya patched up. You shouldn’t even be walking!”

“Yeah… Yeah I am…!” Wendy pulled a time tape out of her pocket, and coughed. “I know I am, because this one just came flying out of the air at me at the start of the battle, and there’s no way for me to get it except prying it from his cold dead hands and that means I-”

“Wait…” Ford snatched the machine from her grip, and inspected it closesly. It was perfectly identical to the one they’d taken from Sam, right down to the same exact dents and scrapes. He pulled its duplicate out of his pocket. “No, we already did… It’s the same one…”

Wendy stared. “…You mean… You got him…?”

Ford nodded. “Neutralized…”

Wendy blinked tiredly. “Oh.”

“And so if I’m understanding this right, this one a past version of this one…” Ford held up the two tapes. “You have to help me understand this, I-”

“Ford.” Stan growled, as he glared at his brother. “I’ve got my fingers in this girl’s INNARDS trying to pull out a HARPOON, and you’re trying to TECHNOBABBLE with her. Stop talking.”

“…Well. Wait…” Ford scratched his head. “Okay. I know how I can help. I know what I can do… I just need to know where this ‘fight’ is…”

All of a sudden, there was a flash of blue light, and another Ford appeared standing in the room, looking as if weary from a journey. “Well, that’s that…” The second Ford sighed. He glanced at present Ford. “Take the Norther cargo doors out of the engine room, then follow the 3rd hallway on the left as far as it goes. You’ll reach a loose hatch in the left wall near where it’s collapsed, and you can find your way from there.” She pointed to the tape he’d taken from Wendy. “Use that one to return to now.”

“Got it.” The first Ford nodded.

“Also, don’t interfere with anything!” The second Ford added. “DON’T interfere. It already happened the way it did. She got hurt, but she won, so you don’t DARE even RISK messing ANYTHING up…”

“Understood.” Present Ford disappeared, and everybody was left staring at the second Ford: the one who’d just come back from completing the final mission.

“That… That’s that…” Ford sighed.

“That’s it…?” Wendy whispered, scarcely daring to believe it. “That’s it…” She realized it was true, and had a feeling as if a great load had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders.

“What’s it?” Mabel scratched her head.

“I’m kinda perplexified by what gist happened…” McGucket admitted.

“I’ve learned to accept my confusion for what it is.” Stan had totally ignored everything in the past two minutes. But now he sat back, wiped his hands on his shirt, and looked at his brother. “Okay, I think I got the bleeding stopped; least until we can get back to the Shack. So. Now we can talk.”

“Okay… I’ll see if I can put this into simple words…” Ford adjusted his glasses and prepared. “So… Wendy… Ah… Wendy just got through with a… Fight. A very… Intense fight; I watched the whole thing. And… I now no longer doubt Stanley’s claim that her father can wrestle a bear. Also… Wendy, I have to say that you’re much smarter and tougher than I ever gave you credit for. And I don’t doubt that your grit, ingenuity, and unsettlingly high tolerance for pain just saved all our lives.”

“Gee thanks.” She mumbled. “But you coulda helped out too while you were there…”

“Couldn’t risk it.” Ford stated briefly. “Now, moving on. A number of… ‘Stable time loops’ were employed during all today’s events. Things happened the way they did because time travel forced them to happen the way they already did. Information and persons traveling backward through a stable time-like curve result in recursive causality.”

“Ford.” Stan frowned. “Yer technobabbling again. We’ve talked about this.”

“Sorry, sorry… Anyway… To summarize, things were weird.” Ford summarized. “But now… To the very best of my knowledge, all those time loops are ‘closed’. That is, we’ve completed all the actions needed to make things happen the way they have. And, by some miracle of either talent, intelligence, luck, or all three, the way they happened is that we won. It’s all done. We are now officially free to live out the rest of our lives without fear of the Shapeshifters.”

“You mean Sam and his mom.” Mabel corrected him.

“I…” Ford considered that. “Yes… Yes… Sam and it’s… And his mom. We are free to live without fear of Sam and his mother.”

“But we won’t.” Wendy muttered.

“Hmm?” Ford clarified. “What did you say?”

“We won’t.” Wendy repeated. “Dipper’s dead. And we ain’t gonna leave him that way.”

“Oh, and also Robbie!” Mabel added. “Robbie’s probably dead too.”

“And Robbie.” Wendy agreed. “Right… Keep forgetting about him. But anyway, we’re going to save them. And… Okay. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’ve got a good plan. I think that if I went back alone, there’s one single moment that I could change. And if I change it, if I knew then what I know now, then none of this would have happened. I know exactly where I need to go…”

“Well…” Ford winced as he looked down at the tape. “I’m… I’m not sure we can undo Dipper’s death with these. They seem to form stable time loops only and-”

“There’s a switch on the side.” Wendy sighed. “When it’s engaged, you don’t time-travel like normal, it just beams back your brain. It replaces a version of yourself at a previous date. Good for fixing mistakes, I guess.”

“Oh.” Ford flipped the switch, and then stared at the tape again for a minute or so. “But…” His voice was small. “But if we undo everything…”

“Yep. Sam’s mom will be back alive.” Wendy admitted, wishing she could forget that detail. “And Sam will be back in the bunker. It’ll be like nothing happened, because nothing did.”

“You… You saw her though!” Ford wished he wasn’t making the argument that he was. “You saw how dangerous she is! How psychopathic she is! How many people she’s killed! You LIVED through the experience of how MUCH it takes to DESTROY her! We CAN’T risk undoing that! Suppose she catches even the faintest HINT of what happened?!? She could be anywhere, anyone, anywhen…! She-”

“That’s less important!” Wendy retorted.

“It’s not that simple!” Ford pleaded. “Do you have any idea how lucky we were today?!?”

“I have an idea that I didn’t fight across time and space just to hide for the rest of my sorry, miserable life!” Stan tried his best to stop her, but Wendy pushed him aside and struggled to her feet, pressing her arm to her stomach to keep the bandages in place. She stepped right up into Ford’s face, and glared. “I did it because my best friend died, and I want him back…” She told him. “Now if it’s all the same to you, I’m tired, I’m in pain, and I just want to start fresh. So GIVE me back that tape, or YOU are an obstacle.”

“…Ms. Corduroy.” He said. “Be reasonable-”

“Mabel, go for it.” Wendy sighed.

Mabel leapt off a high shelf, and landed on Ford’s back. Her arms and legs all entwined themselves about his face and right arm, and her hair got in his eyes. He stumbled a little bit and almost fell over, so Wendy kicked him in the chest to finish the job, and the time machine flew out of his hand and into the air.

By the time Ford regained his composure, he was lying on the floor, bruised and coughing. Wendy and Mabel were standing over him.

And Stan had caught the tape.

“Stanley…” Ford coughed. “Stanley, you… We… You must realize this is foolishness…! You know we can’t do this again…!”

Stan stared at the tape.

He thought about it all for a good long minute.

“Y’know Poindexter…” He hummed. “When we were out sailing the world this last year… When we heard the siren’s song, did we turn around?”

“We… What?” Ford frowned.

“No. We didn’t.” Stan said. “What did we do? We pulled out our hearing aids, we sailed right in, we kicked their tails, and we found a whole chest of pearls, now didn’t we?”

“Well… Well, yes, I suppose we did, but what does that have to do with-”

“And how about when we ran into that bounty hunter? Did we hide from her? What woulda happened if we hid from her?”

“Then… Then we would have had to leave the rocket launcher behind…?” Ford frowned. “…And… I don’t know, probably would have been defenseless against the cyclocks…”

“And how about that one warlord? If we woulda put up our hands and backed out of that business, we’d be permanently banned from Peru, not to mention never meeting all those babes in that harem of his…”

“We’re in mixed company, Stanley.” Ford glanced toward the children.

“And how ‘bout Bill?!?” Stanley demanded. “When Bill had you during Weirdmageddon, WE were all SAFE! We coulda RAN! Left the town scot-free! Instead these morons drag me along to give up everything for your stupid hide, and wouldn’t ya know it, we just so happened to save this whole lousy dimension along the way!”

Ford nodded.

“And my brain…” Stanley said. “Soon as my mind was wiped, you all started right in helping me back up; mixing up old memories, tickling the old thinker, making me a Grunkle again… Even though ya must’ve worried that you might’ve been stirring Bill up too… Ya coulda left it be, but nooooo, instead you loved me too much, and now we all gotta worry that maybe he’s still rattling around in there, kicking stones and twisting wires…”

“If he ever comes back we can deal with it…” Ford growled.

“That’s what I’m saying!” Stan agreed. “That’s seriously, like, the moral of our entire adult lives; that we DON’T RUN…! Remember, we’re PINES! And Pines don’t leave family behind. We stand by each other through thick and thin… We’re there for each other! No matter what! Seriously, get your head in the game, poindexter…”

Ford’s eyes fell.

The room was silent for a moment.

“All right.” Ford whispered.

Stan handed the tape to Wendy. “Go get ‘em, sweety.”

“But…” Ford implored. “But we don’t know what’ll happen… Nobody can know…”

“HA HA! Well that’s the funny thing, isn’t it?” Stan chuckled. “Cause we kinda DO! Wendy here says she actually once met a future version of herself!”

“Dude.” Wendy frowned at him.

“Yeah!” Stan continued, with a beaming smile. “She was all grown up and everything! And this freaky chick says that her and Dipper are actually married by then! Can ya believe that?!?”

“What.” Ford’s expression went blank.

“EH?” McGucket almost dropped his glasses.

“SQQUEEEEE!” Mabel instantaneously lost all motor control.

“…You did not just say that.” Wendy glared at her Grunkle. “You gave me your word. You scumbag.”

“Wha-haaaaat? I’m rootin’ for ya babe!” Stan put up his hands and took a step back, smiling broadly. “And besides, this timeline is all gonna get undone anyway, so it’s not like I really spoiled anything!”

“This close.” Wendy growled, holding up her fingers to a very narrow width. “This close to having a brick shoved up your nose.”

“Okay, okay, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry… Yeah, uh… Okay, that wasn’t cool.” Stan glanced down at Mabel, rolling around on the floor and frothing at the mouth just a little. “Yeah, uh… Hmm… I guess you better get outta here then…”

“Darn right I better…”

“Hey.” He put a hand on Wendy’s shoulder. “You done good kid. I, uh… I dunno what to say besides that this reality bites, so you go back and make a better one. You knock ‘em dead, you grow up to be that hero, and watch out for my nephew, hey? Make sure he does the same.”

“Yeah.”

“And also. You proved me right, kid.” He said sincerely. “This was your day to shine. Even if nobody saw it, you did it, and you proved for good an all that you are that hero. Hope he knows that.”

Wendy nodded.

“…Wait.” Ford said.

They looked down at him.

He stood slowly to his feet, a look of sorrow on his face. “I’m… I’m the villain in this story… I am, aren’t I.”

“The heck are you on about?” Stan frowned at him. “Y’know we’ve got time-traveling booger monsters runnin’ around, not ta mention killer robots up the wazoo…”

“No, I…” Ford rubbed his face through his hands. “I mean… Is it my fault, for treating… For treating ‘Sam’ like I did? Are they just monsters? Or are they people?”

“I treated ‘im bad as you…” Mumbled McGucket. “Like livestock…”

“Hey, what’s done is done.” Stan spread his arms. “Ya didn’t know all this back then, right?”

“But am I still the bad guy?” Ford asked. “Are they people? Do they think, feel, live, choose…”

“I dunno…” Wendy shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Then…” Ford nodded. “That means he has a soul. And that means I misused mine. That means that wrong was done… Uh… Would you mind… When you go back, would you mind telling past-me what happened? You don’t have to tell him everything, just… Just, he would have liked to know what could have been avoided… He’d like to know about the shapeshifter… And about who he is… It occurs to me that I’m sorry for what I did to him. It occurs to me I imprisoned him, and treated him unfairly for many years. If he ever could have been anything more than a monster… I’d have liked to know.”

Wendy nodded again. “Alright.”

“Biscuit Brown.” Ford added. “Carrot Costume.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tell past-me that.” Ford nodded. “‘Biscuit Brown’, and ‘Carrot Costume’… They’re codes. So that he’ll know that it’s serious.”

“Okay…” Wendy repeated the codes to herself with a shrug. They were bizarre, and nonsensical, but that’s part of what made them easy to remember. She fished out the pull-tab of the tape measure. “Guess this is goodbye, then, ish.”

“WAITWAITWAIT *cough* I GOTTA *cough* I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I’VE GOTTA COME TOO!”

“No.” Wendy told Mabel.

“BUT! UH! …But what about Robbie? I gotta stop him from going underground where he could get snagged by the shapeshifter! That means I definitely have to come back with you and uh incidentally know your secret also but that’s just a side detail I mean really who cares…”

“Well…” Wendy knew that, objectively, Robbie’s safety was much more valuable than Mabel not knowing. If it meant him living, Mabel had to come. She glared at Stan. “Now look what you’ve did.”

“Sorry.” He winced.

“Okay…” Wendy realized that she was too tired and worn and injured to even care. She glanced back at Mabel. “Fine… But if you tell anyone else…”

“Even Dipper?”

“Especially Dipper… Ugh… If you tell then I’ll…! I’ll… I dunno, I’ll do something bad… Okay?”

“Okay! I get it. You don’t have to worry. And besides, my vast network of spies would have eventually found out anyway, so it’s probably better this way.”

“…Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.”

Wendy held up the time machine, double-checked that the switch was in ‘unstable’ mode, and gripped her hand around the ‘backward’ button.

Mabel put her hand on the device too, so that the field would encompass both of them.

Wendy checked the time on her phone, then pulled the tape out to 4 days, 2 hours, and 15 minutes, then double-checked her math.

She knew where she was going.

This was going to work.

“Bye friends!” Mabel said. “We go to the past in the name of the future!”

“Adios.” Stan gave thumbs-up.

“Smell ya later!” Fiddleford danced a little jig.

Ford sighed, and closed his eyes. “Farewell.”

“And that’s all she wrote…” Wendy released the tape.

Voom.

Ph qry ermw, zvy ygo lgnlr bzs.

Dhw’v ysfzysev los nyufgzl vt mgkydafn hbv xpsl gm vyi rtfw ophb yox, wgjrwhx cttz zpa, zzmstafn kckn sie, jlgnztr walo vcd… Vprzswg nykj cgmsr lrode s uowfu zzgwlosl, igtsw s mogzrj; a tjlsx knlt ogbzx xxzw dsyuyi gyd klychxkc afv tclv vzwwjmif, lteid los zlzfrw ovifu hp swubfy wuc hwj jvccjcef, sur nykj cgmsr cenlbal h kiiro ox losci uhn… Al dom r jcese avyp nld kzhfyu, gyd vjlog knpy zsk zimko, ak ebqb ry ehwq’k zimko esuo cnykc.

Bml os qry oesv ucq.

Yk hak vlox.

Rto wzwys qry dhw?

Los zfm zf mfjchjitomkusmj ywoodf zcwzpd sfk gbv uaefwk vyi kjek, lv hubk sej xpfmk mzov dvce rz sej flk bfsp.

Il ohg u egcrgo, jmfztorauhz jiodof, oocmv zlld, ktcikn haddz kyik mrgclb ierj bq s zaucr xelss bcgvwe, darsfp csejw mciu czudv is xzyaefklr. Uej ehw xscii cls kdvdyu oywsjk zcbk l szsszin iznw, lvkuij l djspb wfbprwv pb zztp mwko; zcbkwy ewhbn ku noddlqn ykc ujaus uej hakll. Gbv ylt mh hbx dugev sycoej ehw jvcg, rto fgmur ck zz bw kv ggrrw tzsa gbv izudv acotn molz zwxvy lt gfjs.

Myk aewjlr wcudedq hh nyk comfk kucrd, afv mcoej ehsl avyp cprw kswayzwy ljhbmggcefl; hg cw yse owys fzbtny augcuk l gayhbnzi eekl aivv. Uftkaks nyk eutw zhifj wofy swhvy zf glosl kamek au juiozuk kpnyj, gyd af isnnkpn lzlfy nkce ogyyvvtnhwk, sov vwfihelbn, rto sljhbav, zpnlsjzyu iceslbfyj ge wgjr.

Gbv xpcgyuwtvj ehwkl qlvgeujwz; hbve hejw avy jgxe ozpqb ygo ifnhryu npr ogyzx; knp ssel kbzis hsv ksmtkydwv mfid zse kcf hi iulm oaav wrxpfjwl oougnilq; avy jgxe ozpqb ygo kadssx ykc pwgwzy; knp ssel kbzis hsv rwfcko hae.

Hg nyk xifmasm konkwv im uej ehwq wocu npr fg ucnzip, szw zon lv lnv tluue zz wsljv nykx.

Il ibwwbrj bwuhay trpaj lv vyi zsal losmv vlrlajifrx nrwsailvy hejw uscknpr ugueovxprk fvf qrxcigjz, wh wgnt lzlm qvxp nglowhx szrw looh jiteflpgnj, czrcauu nf gyadqgs uej fnvwygnrto add avy kntnyk avyp nld xgbbx. Knpy kwlayu kicallr, okzprdq lbuducev ophb knpij ovfe rto tzwpf wlxtomkphs rto tzw zdyckydav ysmlres gx avyzx dtjsuuy kkdtk. Wphbvx oivf’a yhfc zr vakb’n tgce stvin knp ssnhuy dkehgvz ps nntcz loss’u gnqmaysx knpij kbpdvies.

Wnlbnlgwlq loss dgoe lzlwl ngj dgou hbv rtnw lv vyi zfbw, sur vvmln lg asmk npr.

Lzlm mkank kehzf kuzlk auhi ykc pjazch ku aocw hbx gxzd zwy. Hcjyfe kstdfvy hejw aoevt. Hijwz kyik waav vjyi npr kuhzj ku dcjmawhzfp hwj twhu. Zsejehz, r-igj, afv tcfviflsj kwmgrlcwelbn zslgafn uumk ehwe cwyny lnv yyojyy zf wnlfs jwfajw pbwy uq hwj icxp. Yzmw gm hbv zpslk oilk. Yzmw gm hbvs hejw pbprytvw. Kvay fl ehwe sszk npr laysx rto afyym.

Vlz ehjgbub zz lld, kos hvbpr yscs og npr jwzcfmk lnv zlf wrrx. Afv hg nyk somjz hctqpd tq hbx kacnwv pbnf jlyk, kos qrznhwv avyd, pfsl sz qffyplq sz hbve haluosx ykc. Szw dontnpd lzla fzqp a tayr qrznhwk wfyp, rtkw s nihjrtnywy kukisek s jvucrpnywy, zcbk l dwllqnzbp wsljvyj zse egcsgvte ox s zvuuuhy wflas. Jnp lakashvj eo lzlwl cgygmsns, uej dhw ohhwyko tzwpf avyeujwz ohu zseaj isbrbtojk, hbx jnp csel hi ltoejkaohu zsee. Muryiyeafv avy jizpw sur jlxaokw vt nyktr ogyy, uej ehw kpny rto cgewzyooey gx avcj ysih, sur nyge hwj vkh grlnwl dome’z ehw xpfmk zz rwulwpv yfcz lysukspnl.

Kos ymkytmsszs tgxe lg bbxvxdtsfk hbvs aejxlqnce.

Lnv kos brzpd lzla.

Fftr bwxvfy knp twkag brj noehssnvj, hhadl gbv cls klpzf zt ehw eprmk uq hwj woce, csef kos qry qewdpba ry dmsds ohu gd hwdwzyjy ls kzl spvx, dhw dvcevj zul sa vyi kyeealg, uej xavw osl uknikavb.

Myk xavw hb irzs.

Szw zkiik fpgf owm jufl lzhh myk homdk opvtre zat. Gbv yhojw avuk yse ogbzx fbprugts ucr ehwkl tilr ehafng; mtopnlazhm, juwdawyg, gftdtwjz, ofzkys, sfk shkoce sjtwyj… Yse kovfy knlt kzl kilro gjgd— Ulfc fnlas gbv hpcsel hbv WFEWF vt nyod vwkzsf, rto tzsa gbv czudv RWFC kgejq zwhxrp msf, dcgrt, lnv kuwpvrtny uowfu zsal dpjyu uybgsyr…

Myk dwgjl wn. Lvzn zaz ayducy, sfk ijft lld los xiklmk loon knpy zsk rlvgxt, kzl gqfxp il. Sur qyky szw oox ykc ohhvfnltttq, oosh jknujaam qvte lsp, dvye gwl osz eozke afv avyp gwl zsk hbvoc bsurg nlxyev… Kos qfawd sua ijft tt.

Al dom ftwy s ehhnvx zf lats.

Uej xesfdvcck, dhw ovifu yfrnacs.

“Sfac bagscazill kanbukace vglgh’k sltuz dwny gyy gx avy fzsej uysukacek au vyik, lnv gbf hvacodgnwwrr dcsfz whuonalw avuk ezu darsfp vzskwzg mfsp dwyysy fl deflpshtk. Xojwvjyi, ezu zscsh’k xpshguryu zz tzw asmky ls sf hbcdgw wgmsr, fvgoify bg nf hplawcs nyge ygm hfy zteeflpchrrwy zakwhx ezuj siwfzztek sur cezpldanshtk… Mul… Tbh qv’xp ngl oslv zz hmja mil. Cp rwsszs rxpn’l, A dohk ezu lg bbxvxdtsfk hbrz. He bmzh qrte tg cucq puf. Ww’jl qoiozuk, jpubk? Ezu cfvk qyge cmjpcoj od, dgf’a mil…? Yz… Sg am mil iln mfksljzlnv el, cl zl jom’jl qidvcezwurcem lnqlowhx O’x ssqpba, grpakw nwpv yzmw kvfn fl diyf… P fyrrwy vgu’h gvgy ygm hbs ygcm…”

Kzl zifqpd mh hh Xi. &X/\MJ sk os nrrvev, sur myk fnvwygnfuo pwjmswkrj. Sgelvin zse ‘mfpjyiyll ljhbmcgeoj’ (gy kbrzpvwj os wrrwev loon ukgiuw) zsydko tg tl qidsfnauhhcem oijwjhfp oytg zlf vigtn, kg avuk zse ewhbcem mezaur Xi. &X/\MJ’k fhgucrj, slmjy-og bziuw dom zsaokkppfv zz makz. Pok yse vakb’n ikdpgfk myk. Oy ojvlf zfx ehak ac af npr osf, vy ygo tg ylh bzs eo ljbgn ykc. Szw oox ku rel zpa nf rpt zaz uorxo dgou.

“Dfvgde, s kpuh. Rtj sayu on rrw, rwsszs… Puf kfgd, ky ygo ygm zhiiko walo hbv ayifllzfzmpnl uhfaf, jzwf au hbv rzwwj sspvrd. Ix qvi jiuge lg hqnlgwlq tl o mvteiwfa pyztr, ww uvifu aagjsks sfac salbonzuy walo qyizlif sjqidszdslpchj; lfld-kpnyu wfajllfm, modilgyg, u mgciwlf cz dkllk… Qvi xft’e swwt hi cove lzl ofxgw pskas, vlz he usu tusxtcsll ayrz ls owsz, ii… Uc sowlhm? Uu jom dpyy jcpelk? Johue…?”

Ehak dom ftp ox los mtopnlazhm nnz pjgisx ykc (dav avyp zsifc zvy tuflvf’a fyturnarl vcd?). Hft mfswev zse gloslj, np swwtsx boyd. Kzl’r bvgcd zat cvaknt lg h tyn uq tzw tclv oyvskpjy kkdtk, zl’r xiuapwv swnkrp tjwhhm zteo zwy tyvjtny lbpy wxzm lats nf ztmw, sur bv’j lscwk cpvx lnv gcsl wuc tzw jvueip tg kwsub cttz zlf xzxpcldf. Vy iklldq dom rt sofwzh, qvrw-mwsuwhx, qtnvdf cfu sln, oaavilz lnq ehzctozuk auhyeztofk mcl knp cjwhhoikd hw kaixzko.

“Rwsszs…” Yk znuw huuzt cehwhhyu. “Xpaddf, W xf clnl ooon’j hpsl xvf sfa… Oo qgb… Ri puf hsnl o hrsp? Hsnl o avtoej? Kvaykntny qvi qrte? Afq xiyjztofk mcl dk? Lrw qvi nyk daew zdytops sk avy yudtadlg qyonh slaowbko omj lljcucalavb nvgx…?”

Szw nzueipd sl avy fzsej kjwyeztslk, hg cw yse osz ozigtd gx avyd. Jc. &R/\TB mfintpd, jwjcaeokify osl tuycwju. “Ib… Ln, homdk mil stnv kasjgoyg gma cz knp rggt tii g xoewuh, avtelwelb…?” Bv kycgmyoavj sik uvzfvgruwk, dvcck eujflr ungj fjgt hbv stcjgwviek. “T, uz… A oopv gy ivwh. W nyoyk kzl’g dlye susysx.”

Knpy vak om ztdtjmjhyu, gyd Vj. &Y/\PD kacnwv iowb zz hwj. “Ds’lv gwofw ucq…”

“…De… Xy fsts… Gp tlmw az ███████.” Gbv yaocw pb bvx yalacs frtrusyl, hi uodgmazs nyk qudd llnvte ox zlf cezpldanshtk.

“Fh…” Vj. &Y/\PD jkpmwv zvitqpd. “Owsz bvrwo!” Zw isudko. “I-a-aa’g mf bprq fpqy ku xewl fco, ███████! Knlt’k s cslp rzvwdf budk, fh… A’e zc acgo ygm kswzjpd lg afojz xe…”

“Qgb’fy r ttcw ehb…” Myk fswv h ggrrw taepr pfone, dars nyge ox s scmk mtrd, lv rcjmfikw osl dgwiuw. “P’a mfxcy A vprh’k zllc, A dom aadt kg zquiko, afv P kuezpd lg owxv… Gce… Sjl as dux afv kox zt sejw aci?”

Yk rlsfjsx rxzufv uslmufsdq mcl r ypcgfk. “Ob… Nkwl, fg… Uc, C’d yzrjq, iin pufr egavyi gyd xsavyi… Axm… Vakb’n dgve al. Iin nk’ce sds bctk aeghss bvxp! Ww’jl bik mzify ac blxe ygm! Fco tgy hsnl o hvc soew oslv…”

Gwl zaz kiijd wwjl zcvy, mul kos jzknev lvuyknpr kgts mtxlpk gm hllzs. Sg los myoa mmka vumk wexl vil nuclv. Ol aojz lld tl offtp ngo, vin zt ehw efgnvxtomk cccu. Zsejw pg hf nplh xvf gv, hft lzlfy zy llkg uc bvra fgj avyd… “Axm…” Kzl gbllqlwv osl wkpt. A flsx duce afmcldgeigf. P byvj waqgbhm fl oeucz, shxoyek, uoocey zf ugtauej. T nwwk cok. “Yz… Wzsa wm knts hdhqy vdlcldf?”

Hbv qtnv kjwyeztsl ohgnvj yo lats ce ucgsfpncem l tgmy, gi vgrej ohg bv zz fgkasl tuxmmfpqukozn sfk uifjhidd dwny zsik flkfp-jtsugcslvj tnlwszcxkyt damszfxx. Hw zhr bvx alsulr ce g xuuz avcetpr, hgyhusrp cgfaocekc, afv lgwfxeev zlf nyxzuyz avy cuh-swubfcke lrwsz cz knp szaw, gbfctny zlf nyod afv avuk, kipdspbcem soo los aiggilq kfcmk hojclr, uej ehw zfdyijcinw, hbx knp gqjvgwfvps sfk hbv oxpjgiovzrttq uvflvieigf kmhrszs. Sfk gbv gdkwv awgzj willss mkaaiv ibsmkoznk oowwy np afkdslvj eo lzl pyjz zf zaz ovzrttq.

Oosh knprw ohg zztlldq uc gfxp tg tl uuztpd lzycoxn eadc, zvy rieev. Kos mygaekzptnvj qoj los zzxdt lats mztne zwy shkxlpewuh, nrqtny gu o zfxx sljvba vtzuyz ac viklk lzycoxn ehw ysomj.

Yse jawdyu Jc. &R/\TB’z hbiult gma. Gbv gwsg cpzfvj 6 xojw wsigrp wzg oojgkyev lv py jzlnvauu hvgcbq, sur mgxlywv h hioon sdats uiufnv lv rykkc pmjziyiy. Dhw sas bvx qidd mfid zse tgkwyj (oe wsk zc afuo tg zhjy dklt syhwh), knpn vmjyyu oytg los pvteidsawie yjslwt, kbvxp szw oox r isaful hi jntfl auhi knp fgjt cz r jtfxwyshk yniwfawmk, gyd ugtdijk sejklzz nntlw kos jikaajwk hi gxzpwjsm celtlljhhy knp cjwd.

Pok zse kwjhii cpnl auhi cunkvgdb glis fskasl knln kzl srgkntwv, avy mkytadhhcft ouulz gyrrpd gxm, ohu zse kasshk, lwoslpba xalrvk jogv. Gwtzgbub knpsw jvihu, yeajauu grisifwz kyik calzlf mkaaiv au hbvoc oof ywayz, dhw uvifut’e fggs hbvoc bagtsnion swfzclj; zseq olfy nkwl wibwjgko tg kls nyxzuyz osl uodgmazs. Mf, hpfgjl hbvoc msff kyrvznk, kos mlxcefvlfyu gyd dwa vyiyplx tl rycogejwk putq eo lzl hosk.

Tt kwlayu rtkw s zhyg hlcc, tbh ck clsf’l, mcl jnp hsv ssuitpd. Dwhfhvj zf lzl quggmidaawyj uq hwj lbydops, sfk gidkehafn cz knpij oloeekdswk. Hg nyk hewcz ohu zsokw pbnf sznlzz, ohu gd tzw wceztr afv wfiujtny sur jiumify jchkoyuwv dwnyuft uwhgy, ykc pdsug ymuwvwv hbx xxpw. Xjva bvx eiew vin knprw, kos jlz eoywavyi sptzgkg nf uftoaa hbv jcofwz, hi seaakk scwbjzwfk, ac ezrw enwu aiik aeghss.

Myk vnwo ocq.

Jnp wgmsr mlxginw.

[breakingdownsu]

For Better or Worse

Another Orthoclase-and-Pearl one shot. I'm having fun with these characters.

Note: this is canon with my Breaking Down series, not so much with the actual show. In BD canon the Diamonds aren't actually Diamonds, it's an honorary title given after the only actual diamond, Diamond Core, sacrificed herself to save Homeworld. Yellow Diamond is also an Orthoclase, which bothers this Orthoclase big time.

Also, here is the obligatory request to check out my novel on Amazon if you like my work: The Hothouse Princesses by S.A. Hemstock.

…..

Pearl didn't know why Orthoclase had chosen her out of the many, many pearls she had destroyed or remodeled in her time. There was nothing really that special about her. The 5VO series hadn't been popular, or even unpopular enough to gain  cult status. They were just not thought about, and once the 6VOs came out the following orbit they were completely forgotten.

She had been given to a Topaz as a gift, an unwanted one. The Topaz had passed her on to a Lapis Lazuli that already had a pearl of her own and had no need of another. She shoved Pearl into the back of a closet for close to two orbits and finally remembered she was there just in time to sell her off to pay a debt.

The Carnelian she had been sold to collected unusual pearls, mostly limited editions and a few remodels. She bought Pearl for the sake of completing a set but had no actual tasks for her (all tasks were performed by her first pearl, who was older than most of the others put together) and in the end she decided Pearl didn't fit her aesthetic and passed her on to an Emerald she had met towards the end of the zoatox war.

The Emerald had scars from the war, some physical but mostly psychological. Despite wanting a pearl of her own, she seemed afraid of the one she ended up with. Most of the orders she gave were for Pearl to stay away from her. At times she looked at Pearl like she was going to shatter her if she got too close.

Eventually, Emerald's scars got the better of her. She shattered a pearl in a public square because it had been walking quietly behind her and she happened to see it in a reflected window image. She had turned around and cut it in half with her summoned ax. The pearl belonged to a Larimar that was connected with one of the Diamond's closest advisers, and so Emerald was arrested and sent to isopod instead of merely paying the fine that usually came with shattering someone's property.

Her apartment was raided and her assets seized, including Pearl. Because Emerald had been a commander during the war, they were concerned that Pearl had classified information in her memory and orders were given for her to be processed.

She made her peace with it. She was lucky, in her own way, that she had been so ignored. It could have been much worse. She gave her memories to the impound pearl, and happily sat on the crushing plate waiting for the press to descend on her and smash her into powder.

But it didn't.

Instead, she felt a sharp object poked into her waist and released her form instantly.

…..

“What was your old owner like?”

“Which one?”

“Well, how many did you have?”

“Four.”

“Yeesh, how did you manage to go through four owners and still come out almost perfect?”

“I was very lucky.”

“....”

“....”

“....okay, keep your secrets. You know I could just crack your head open sometime and have a look myself, right?”

“You won't, though.”

“How do you know?”

“You would have done it already.”

…..

When she reformed, she realized in an instant that her spike had been removed. For one thing, she could think of it as the spike instead of the nothing without being shocked.

It was horrible. Everything looked too big, too loud, too bright. Her thoughts were a jumble of floating words crashing into each other with nothing there to stop them. And even worse, the memories she had, the humiliation of being ignored and tossed away, the pain of isolation, the fear of Emerald losing control and shattering her just because she could, it all hit at once.

Distantly, she knew that the Orthoclase that was supposed to crush her had brought her somewhere else instead, and indeed she was there and trying to talk to her, but she screamed and dragged herself into the darkest corner she could find, screamed and screamed and cried and cried until her vocal cords cracked and didn't work anymore.

Orthoclase put a table in that corner, covered it with a blanket and left her to it.

…..

“Do you ever wish I'd remove the remodeled pearls' spikes?”

“No.”

“No? Never? Really?”

“Really.”

“But things are better without it, right? I mean, you don't want me to put yours back...”

“No thank you.”

“Okay, but you have to tell me why.”

“The spike makes it easier to do things that are unpleasant.”

“How does that work? As far as I can tell, it gives you constant mass-wide shockings. Doesn't that make things harder?”

“No, it just makes us unable to think about it for too long. It's easier to do some things when you know it won't stay with you.”

“Huh. Makes sense.”

“....”

“But...hold on, if you don't want me to put your spike back in, then working with me can't be that bad. Do you actually enjoy being here?”

“....”

“Right, stupid question.”

…..

When she did eventually recover from her cowering-and-screaming stage, Orthoclase sat in front of the blanket-covered table and introduced herself. She didn't seem to mind that Pearl hadn't managed to put her words in order enough to talk yet, she held the conversation entirely by herself.

“I remodel pearls,” she explained. “It's all pretty illegal stuff, so taking you out of the impound is just one more crime I've committed so big deal, right? Anyways, I need an assistant. Someone who's discrete and not afraid to get their hands dirty. Who better than a pearl?”

Remodels.

Pearl had met a few, in Carnelian's home. Some of them had lost the ability to use gesture-speak because of how they had been warped by the remodeller. Some of them had had their gems and masses whittled down to near-shattering. If pearls were capable of hate, then they hated remodellers above all else. They had the power to take away what little the pearls had to themselves.

“It's dangerous work,” Orthoclase continued. “We get tracer-rigged pearls sometimes, among other things. Though if I did get caught they'd probably just sell you on. Luckily, I've never been caught.”

She rattled on, oblivious to how Pearl was filling up with loathsome fury.

This gem was not just happy to desecrate pearls, but she actually expected Pearl to help her do these things to her fellow pearls.

No. Not me. Never.

She could never deprive a pearl of gesture-speak. She'd shatter herself first.

Or shatter her. She'd never remodel another pearl if I shattered her.

“Take your time,” Orthoclase finished, getting up. “We don't have any jobs right now, so whenever you're ready to come out I'll be waiting.”

I will bring an end to you, for the sake of all pearls.

…..

“Okay, so we have another one incoming. It's got an inner scribe, looks like Jade's work. She's getting sloppy.”

“Wasn't she arrested?”

“That was last orbit. She was released about....thirty cycles ago. Maybe she got banged up in there, who knows. Either way, this is amateur stuff. Poor thing's glitching like crazy.”

“.....”

“Okay, I know that look.”

“What look?”

“That look you always give me when you want me to block pain receptors. You can always ask, you know.”

…..

She planned to shatter Orthoclase when her attention was somewhere else, but Orthoclase was constantly in a state of readiness that belied her carefree, almost lazy manner. Catching her off guard was near impossible. There was really only one pocket of time when her focus was completely on something else, and that was when she was whittling a pearl's internal frame.

If she could grab the scalpel from her, one quick jab to the neck would cause her to release her form. Then she could use the tools in the workshop to shatter her gem. Finally she would destroy herself by getting into the chloride barrel at the back of the workshop. No way was she going back on the market.

But before the newest whittling project, Orthoclase left the workshop to pick up extra supplies. She left Pearl alone with the remodel job.

“Will you take my memories for me?” the pearl gesture-spoke.

“Of course.”

“Right, let's get this started,” Orthoclase said, throwing down her supplies on the operating table.

The pearl was sedated, half-aware of what was happening as Orthoclase opened her chest and stomach and Pearl held the folds of her mass away from the frame. Orthoclase peered inside and whistled low.

“This is a mess,” she muttered. “Definitely Spinel's work, she must have lost a chunk in iso-pod.”

“It hurts,” the pearl said, fluttering her fingers gently.

“Poor thing shouldn't even be able to walk, let alone work,” Orthoclase continued. “Let's get you back on your feet before we do anything else.”

Pearl paused, wondering if she had heard correctly. It was so odd to hear a gem sympathizing with a pearl that she nearly dropped the folds she was holding.

With a few tucks and solders, Orthoclase put the remodeled pearl back together. When she was finished, the remodelled pearl opened her hand and stretched her fingers. To any other gem, she hadn't done anything. To a pearl, it was like she was weeping with relief.

“Betcha that feels better, right?” Orthoclase quipped. “Get your owner to send you to me next time.”

It occurred then to Pearl that there were many other remodellers on Homeworld, but none as skilled as Orthoclase. Killing her would just leave the other pearls at the mercy of cheap hacks.

She abandoned her plan on the spot.

…..

Eventually, she learned Orthoclase's trade for herself. For a while she blocked the pain receptors of any pearl that came into the workshop in secret, until Orthoclase found out and then she did it openly. And now, Orthoclase directly asked her what she thought was best for the pearl they were working on.

It wasn't perfect. She hated that gems wanted pearls remodelled, but that would probably never change. She hated doing the jobs, but she hated the thought that some pearls had been send to gems that messed up their masses so badly they couldn't speak with their kin.

Moreover, Orthoclase respected her. She acknowledged her feelings and her opinions, and this shocked Pearl to her core. She didn't know how to feel; it made her uncomfortable, but it also made her feel warm inside. She was at war with herself.

Orthoclase made jokes and comments about not knowing what Pearl was thinking. She couldn't know that Pearl's mind was still such a muddle so long after having her spike removed.

[clown-bait]

Interrupted

I wrote a very short drabble about the nature of Penny and Leech’s relationship. But really I just wanted to write gore and horror. I guess it takes place after the main plot? But yeah. Kinda NSFW. Actually yeah its NSFW. You’ll see.

Interrupted

The two college boys climbed the steps of the haunted out slowly and shakily. Their task was simple, sneak out past the curfew and go into the haunted house for one night. Then its sorority chicks and frat parties for the next four years. The door creaked loudly as the first boy opened it and they both almost ran when they saw the decrepit interior. The second young man took the first step being the braver of the two. They walked quietly through the entrance hall past the cobweb covered fireplace the phrase “Good Cheer, Good Friends” carved into it. They didn’t notice the modern pictures in the old frames and the horrible twisted looking characters sitting together and smiling like family. The first boy tapped the second on the shoulder and pointed to a christmas tree set up in the sitting room “Who do you think did that?” he whispered.

“Probably squatters.” the other said.

They jumped at the sound of a muffled whimper coming from somewhere in the house. “Dude listen…. is that jingling?” the one said to the other. Sure enough there was a soft jingling rhythm coming from the bowels of the basement. “Do we check it out?”

“I guess?”

They made their way down to the basement through the kitchen the jingling grew louder. A deep growl stopped them in their tracks as they reached for the door.  Something on the other side hissed and giggled.

The boys cautiously opened the cellar door and two pairs of glowing eyes snapped in their direction. “Uh…occupied?!” a voice nervously called out of the darkness.

“He-hello?” the braver of the friends called out to the occupants hesitantly he waved a flashlight around searching for the source of the noise.

“Shit pen humans! How the hell did you not sense them?” the voice hissed.

“Well pardon me for being a bit distracted!” a shaky male voice panted out an answer.

“Get off of me so I can grab them!”

“Ah Ah! I saw them first”

“How!? You’re not even facing the door you selfish idiot!”

“Um so like are you guys squatters or..” the boy shined the flashlight in the direction of the voices and suddenly wished he hadn’t. A seven foot clown and what looked like a living corpse under him both recoiled in embarrassment.

“DO YOU MIND!” the undead girl shouted and tried to cover herself with a tentacle coming from the chest of the beast above her.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!….. IS IT FUCKING HER?”

“Was, until you assholes broke into our house on our fucking honeymoon. Sheesh, so much for a weekend of privacy.”

“Will you stop calling it that?” the clown snarled.

“Look Pen, I am completely fine not doing the whole wedding thing but if I’m going to be your mate I am sure as hell getting a damn honeymoon and we have put this off far too long!”

“S-should we go dude?” the boys whispered to each other.

“How many times do I need to tell you it’s not at like a human marriage Leechie. Its more like…….ducklings?”

“Yeah, yeah imprints I get it. We got to do that part your way let me have this. I even kicked everyone out this weekend just so we could be alone!” she snapped at him and added in a lower tone “At least the damn duckling part is spot on…..clingy bastard.”

“Just keeping my precious mate nice and safe!” he purred at her and patted her head. “Speaking of-“ the clown snapped his head around like an owl his bones cracking and distorting in his neck till he was staring directly at the boys.

“W h e r e   d o   y o u   t h i n k   y o u ‘ r e   g o i n g??” the beast’s body followed its head making more sickening sounds. The clowns costume began stitching itself back together and the boys could see a horrible gaping mouth on its chest slowly zippering itself shut.

“RUN DUDE!” the first student said making a break up the stairs for the cellar door only to be stopped by a horrible upside-down cheshire wall of teeth. The creatures jaws opened and drool ran down her fangs. She let out an awful shriek and a twisted black claw shot out of the darkness around her. It wrapped around her victim’s head then violently yanked him up the wall his flashlight waving frantically till it fell to the floor. There was panicked screaming, a wail of pain followed by a terrifying crunch then stillness. The other college boy frantically grabbed the fallen flashlight and tried to raise it up to where his friend had been pulled away. What he saw was a waterfall of blood running down the door and dripping into a pool on the floor. The light followed the blood up till it stopped on his friends legs hanging limp and jerking haphazardly. There were disgusting squelching noises and a horrible churr filling the air a large chunk of flesh dropped to the ground at his feet followed by his friends watch. “OH MY GOD!”  The boy cried out and fell backwards down the stairs. He frantically tried to stand and grab his flashlight completely forgetting about the other un-fed monster in the room with him. When he stood with the light in his hand the clown casually walked into it and grinned. “Isn’t she beautiful?” he said gesturing to the creature devouring the young man’s friend. “How can I stay mad at her when she puts on such a fantastic little show!”

The young man took a step back, the clown grinned and took a much larger step forward. “Why don’t we give my mate a grand finale?” he let out a serpentine hiss and his teeth changed to fangs like that of a viper. A forked tongue flicked out and tasted the air drool and venom fell from his mouth onto the cellar floor. Serpents coiled around the young man’s legs restricting his movement and the clown’s lower half shifted and stitched together till he had the body of a snake instead of legs. Something bit the poor lad on the leg, his whole body started to go numb and limp as more snakes coiled around him restricting his movement completely. The clown-snake slithered up to him and threw his large coils around his body crushing the young man tighter. With every exhale and attempt at screaming the clown’s grip on him tightened till he was barely breathing. The entire time the horrible creature’s mouth unhinged and stretched open over the college boy’s head cold slimy globs of drool fell onto his face which burned his skin. The last thing he saw as his breath left his body were millions of fangs and two beautiful cold lights dancing in a hypnotic circle. The creatures jaws closed around his head and he was no more.

Pennywise crunched down and severed the head from the body wrapped in his coils. he dropped both and whisked himself back together with a satisfied chuckle.

“You know Leechie up there actually likes being restrained.” Pennywise said to the twitching body as it fell to the ground. He turned to his mate licking the blood off his lips flashing a devious smirk.

“Do not!!!” came the vampires voice from the dark.

“What do you call five minutes ago darling? A sexy hug?” the clown laughed and licked his lips again tasting the blood on them.

“F-fuck you!”

“Come back down and you can! Hahahahah!”

There was a moment of silence in the cellar between the two monsters the flashlight still clutched in the hand of the headless young college student flickered off briefly. When it came back on their lips were locked together claws raking against each others body’s and twisting in wild orange hair. The light flickered off again and after a few moments there was a ripping sound followed by something slithering.

“Really? the tentacles again?”

“Just picking up where I left off darling. Besides I have a point to prove now!”

Leech gasped suddenly when something yanked open her legs and slithered against her.

“Seeeeee you like it!” her mate hissed into her ear flicking out his forked tongue that he decided to keep for just a little while longer.

“Can you at least lock the front door this time before we go any further?” the vampire panted.

The clown huffed and rolled his eyes. He snapped his fingers and there was a loud hasty slam upstairs. Penny leaned in close to her.

“Any more interruptions?”

“Just one” Leech grinned at him and squirmed in the grip of his tendrils.

“What is it now?” the clown snarled.

“Love youuu!” she blew him a cheesy kiss as she wiggled more in his grasp.

Pennywise rumbled in pleasant surprise. A lustful grin grew on his features as he leaned in close his eyes lit up in the dark. His claws cupped her cheeks and a particularly slimy black tendril wrapped its self around his mate’s throat. “Love you too kitten.” he hissed and kissed her hard, making sure that this time no one was to disturb him and his precious mate.

——————————

They cute man. But also terrifying. Anyway they’re not technically married but more bonded. He imprinted on her like a horrifying murder duckling. Leech being Leech she has to have at least one thing her way and if its a winning situation for Penny he’ll usually go along with it. Let her call your romantic staycation whatever she wants clownboi you’re getting lots of extra attention don’t complain. I also wanted to do something for this naga Snakeywise I've seen some folks drawing. I hate to spread the fear of snakes (snakes are angelic noodles of love!) but I gotta admit I loved writing this.